#and it's undergrad not grad he's talking about
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roseband · 1 month ago
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#personal#my husband negged me about stern and now im like kinda determined to get a 750+ on the GMAT and try to get in#he didn't mean it as a neg lol...... but it's his bitter school that he wanted for undergrad and didn't get into#and he was like ''hey u prb wont get in... my hs grades were better than urs even tho my sats were lower''#but BRUH >.< we were cheating scandal year so that doesn't couuuuunt#and it's undergrad not grad he's talking about#(my bitter school was cooper union it was the only b-arch 5 year architecture school i applied to that didn't accept me#which is probably good because i wouldn't have been able to swap into digital design there and would have been stuck in archi and i was#MISERABLE in archi lol i also make more than my friends in archi and work less than them :D )#BUT THIS MEANS I NEED TO BRUSH UP ON STANDARDIZED TEST MATH ;A;#the only math i've done since college is like....javascript and that does nawt count#i use jsx to automate little pictures..... put little pictures together for kids clothing....and yell at factories#no math at work other than minimal coding............. my brain is slow at test math now#(i have to practice my stupid sat level math a bit anyways soon cuz imma get dragged into doing test prep for my cousins soon :/)#the only things that seem like they'll make me more money in my career are if i go further into operations and automation#or if i go FAR more creative... and business operations seems far far more stable#(also i much prefer being thrown ''here's a fun math game automate this part of our design process away'' than...#''pls make 10 versions of a tee shirt in 5 days that need to pass thru legal thx'')
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dreadfutures · 1 year ago
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almost cried as my advisor introduced my talk and emphasized my dedication to science communication, community and coalition building, and broadening participation in stem alongside all my scientific achievements 😭 kept a brave face but I'm crying now tho
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tchaikovskaya · 2 years ago
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I could/should elaborate when I’m not falling asleep as I am rn but like. I feel like for the people who you “mourn” who have died young and/or suddenly who you knew only in passing, or only casually interacted with, or were once close to but in the years between then and their death you barely spoke, etc etc etc, you arent actually mourning them or their presence in ur life (and now palpable absence) (supposedly) but just what it means to be a human on earth who has to grapple with inevitable loss and the immense weight of what a Person is and their footprint on everyone they interact with that is fleeting even tho there are several billions of us on the floating rock but none of those billions of lifetimes are ever overlapping 100%…. sigh :/
#context a student who graduated last semester (undergrad) died in a car crash like 500 miles away#and one of my fellow grad students/TAs and a few of his former profs are so upset about it and like………#u barely knew this kid I mean of course I feel terrible that someone with his life ahead of him was snuffed out in the blink of an eye#but like…….. if u had never found out about this. or if this hadn’t happened and he went on to live a boring long life#he would mean next to nothing to u !!! u would be none the wiser! u would probz not even recognize his name in 10 years! why are u crying!!!#idk I would be less ANNOYED and hashtag BOTHERED by it if the same people didnt say such nasty derogatory shit about their undergrads#like every other time I talk to u about mundane news ur complaining about how ur students are all lazy untalented idiots#but now THIS ONE who was never meaningful to u before THIS GUY is SPECIAL to u…? u mourn him?#2 weeks ago if I showed u his student ID photo u would struggle to remember his name but NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING#NOW THAT HES GONE AND IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU#tldr if ur still reading lmao I feel like this stuff is always about yourself and almost never about the dead person#which is valid in its own way I mean I’ve literally cried after passing mangled cars and ambulances with people who defs aren’t gonna surviv#but it’s never been about their life’s overlap with mine and retconning some kind of memorable or emotional significance to it#idk why I’m so emotional about this in like 3 separate directions but it’s just so fucking frustrating !!!!!!! 🥲🤡
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qqweebird · 1 year ago
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i love my major i love geology/geologineering and paleontology but i hate how… loosey goosey this field is about precision… like obviously they are good diligent scientists but most applications of this study are so large scale that like, decimal points either arent going to make a difference or you literally *cant* in good conscience claim a result to that precision. and when i was mapping in wyoming last summer so much of my job was “just write down what you think is true to your best logical conclusion and if someone disagrees they can go climb the mountain themselves”
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stinkyies · 11 months ago
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THE TOP WENT TO UR SCHOOL???????? THIS IS INSANE
its my #onlyatgw moment 🥰🥰
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gaydryad · 1 year ago
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vote now on your phones:
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mangoisms · 1 year ago
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so the plan is to Briefly pause my work on the nikolai fic and turn around to finish those oneshots i was talking about. Have been talking about for the past. two weeks. id LIKE to finish them today but i have no idea if that’s possible. realistically i suppose today and tomorrow i’ll work on them. id like to finish them today just bc i do have stuff to do tomorrow (see: reading that 90 page article for an assignment due on wednesday) and it would definitely be After i did that. so. we’ll see
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thoughtssvt · 9 months ago
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adventures of sugar daddy nanami kento and his frugal sugar baby [ pt. 2 ]
nanami kento x reader ; fluff & humor ; nsfw joke | [ pt. 1 ]
MDNI — 18+ interactions only
A/N : it's implied that reader is still attending school, whether that be college undergrad or grad is up to you; tldr: reader is over the age of 18
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"darling, are you busy right now?" kento's voice dripped from the speaker of your phone like thick honey.
"nope, go ahead," you confirm that you have time to talk as you wipe the sweat off your brow, the summer sun and scalding water making your body temperature rise.
you could practically hear kento's brows furrow, "are you sure? you sound a distance away and I can hear the water running," he said suspiciously.
you cringed, holding your breath as you slowly slid the plate onto the rack only to cringe at the sharp hiss of ceramic skidding against metal.
"I thought you started using the dish washer," kento sighed, the creak of his office chair putting the image of a disappointed kento leaning back in his chair in your head.
"I don't trust it, kento!" you cried dramatically. you would've clutched at your heart if your hands weren't soaking, sparkling glasses weeping on the rack at the mere thought of being thrown in satan's machine.
a staccato sigh and your muffled chuckles filled the kitchen. "anyway," kento continued, "I was wondering if you had the energy for something public." he asked, always considerate of your social battery.
you blotted your hands against the hand towel that hung from the oven door's handle, humming happily as you reached for the nice hand lotion kento had gotten for you, worried about the state of your hands considering the temperature of the water you habitually used. "why? is this some secret exhibition sex club thing that you rich people have?" you teased.
"I want to treat you to an outing since you refuse to do it yourself," kento poked back, speeding passed your joke, already used to your antics.
"oh, not denying it? does it actually exist?" your eyes widened in feigned suspicion, a weak attempt at changing the subject.
"do you know why I started looking for a sugar baby?" kento continued. you sucked in a breath only to be cut off, "nevermind... don't answer that." kento sighed, making you chuckle. "I wanted someone to enjoy spending my money. I lost that kind of excitement a long time ago, so you don't have to hold back. you can ask me for anything that will make you happy, okay?" he explained, sincerity oozing from his voice.
you nodded as you listened, ears perking up towards the end. "anything?" you parroted drawn out and timid.
౨ৎ
kento scrubbed his hands against his scalp, blond locks effectively spiking in every direction. you were both sat next to each other at the dining table, crowding around your laptop-- the one you'd refused to replace, deadset on it lasting you at least another four years despite the volume the fans worked being loud enough to wake kento from his sleep. kento sat defeated, chin digging into his palm as he stared into the abyss while you wore a gleaming smile on your face, excitedly knocking against the table as you waited for your prehistoric machine to load.
once the confirmation screen popped up you wrapped your arm around kento's, pulling him in close. "you were right, kento! spending all this money is fun!" you chimed, wiggling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
kento stared at you with glassy eyes. "I don't know what to do to make you understand," he croaked. "was this really fun for you?" he softened as he took in your features and how much more energized you seemed after just a few clicks.
when he got home from work you'd dragged him to the table, pulling up the tragic student loan debt page, eagerly asking him if it was really okay to spend this much all at once. he'd paid off your loans and the remaining balance of your current semester. you felt like you were floating, to say the least.
kento was more than happy to pay these debts off, but he'd assumed that if you had any they would've been your first priority, not a scrubdaddy and a dish rack. he deflated once again at the mere memory.
you chuckled fondly at the display, reaching to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. "fine, fine. let's go."
his brows knit tightly as you input the address into his phone, sticking it to the dash before securing your seatbelt. you had him park a bit away from a 7-eleven. he followed you hesitantly, watching as you hummed quietly to yourself, a bounce in our step as the two of you took a short walk down to akihabara station. you stopped with your arms spread in a grandiose gesture, the wall behind you stacked floor to ceiling with gashapon machines.
"i've always wanted to try one of these, but the probability that I would get what I wanted on my first try was always slim." you explained as your eyes scanned the wall for a specific capsule series. you held your palm open asking for coins which kento handed to you with a gentle smile.
he watched you for who knows how long. the capsules kept coming, countless duplicates filling his arms. and it was worth it to see your smile, bright and unashamed, every time you popped a capsule open.
"ah, finally!" you cheered as you turned to kento, a small plastic sandwich in the palm of your hand, the same sandwich he got everyday for lunch.
his heart overflowed, spreading heat across his chest. you'd gone through all that work just to get his sandwich. even given the opportunity to do something for yourself you still thought of others, but you were happy and that was enough for him.
"come, come! I think I saw one that had a desk like the one in your office." you beamed, eyes busy searching for the machine with every intention to set these figures up in the corner of your own desk. somewhere along the way kento left you for a moment just to stop by a store for a bag, dumping all your gachas in it until you got exactly what you were looking for. a smile plastered on his face as you continuously loaded coins into the machine.
he rests a hand on your thigh on the drive home, pinching it just enough to grab your attention. "thank you," he whispers, bringing your hand to his face to kiss at your knuckles. thank you for showing him all the small happiness the world had. he had a lot to learn from you.
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part 1 | sugar daddy kento masterlist | jjk men x reader masterlist
divider by @tyuniwa
tag list : @that-goth-bisexual @yannauauau
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shadow-bender · 5 months ago
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If you're thinking about grad school im begging you to get into contact with grad students both in the department and lab you're considering applying to. Or your advisors, other/former grad students. Ask for a zoom meeting or to meet up in person (if you live close) so you can talk privately and not leave any paper trails if they have negative things to say about the department/advisor.
Im so serious. I haven't been paid since June. My advisor is hardpressed to show up on time if he shows up at all. 2 new people have joined our lab and I'm just sitting here like 😬😬😬
Im not even joking I've told undergrads not to go to grad school here. Grad school is difficult on its own but it's worse when you don't get paid on time, your bills are piling up and you're forced to come to terms with the fact that not only does your advisor not give a shit about your research he actively doesn't even know what your research is about.
Im so serious please, be careful in choosing a grad program/advisor especially if you're from a marginalized community. I ignored alot of red flags, bc i wanted to be at a university close to my Tribe and area of study and im now realizing just how much i was only accepted into this lab bc having a token Native working on decolonial science makes you look good even if you can't be bothered to know what any of it means
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chimcess · 3 months ago
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Bittersweet || myg (2)
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Pairing: Yoongi x ReaderOther Tags: Grad Student!Yoongi, Undergrad!Reader, Grad Student!Hoseok, Uncle!Namjoon, Doctor!Namjoon, Grad Student!Jimin, Fuckboy!Jungkook, GradStudent!Jungkook, Boss!Seokjin, Yoongi POV Genre: College!AU, Strangers to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, kinda Student/Teacher but not really, Older!Yoongi, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut Word Count: 19.9k+ Summary: When a cynical graduate student meets an overly enthusiastic undergraduate, the air crackles with tension—though not all of it is good. Warnings: Mean!Yoongi, bitter grad student to the max, strong language, Jimin is still a snitch, possible wrong science information (i'm sorry i'm not perfect), sexual tension, Yoongi pining and being in love for almost 20k words, kissing at work, almost caught, graphic s*x scenes, non-descriptive smut as well, Jealous!Yoongi, i'm sorry but this JK is kind of a slime ball, Reader knows what she's doing, they're adorable, lots of bickering, drunk Yoon, drunk texting, they're both the biggest dorks on the planet, reader sleep talks, multiple sex scenes, oral (m&f receiveing), vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, handjobs, all things considered these two are very vanilla, some dirty talk, reader mostly takes charge, public sex, sex at work, shower sex, again they're still dorks even when they're in bed, let me know if I missed anything... A/N: Here's the second (and final) installment of this little two-shot. Thanks for reading!
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I decided not to make a fuss about the stupid recruitment party. It was just a way for them to shove fresh-faced recruits down our throats, anyway. Instead of hitching a ride with Hoseok and Serena, I opted to walk alone, letting the cool night air wash over me. The campus felt both familiar and alien in the twilight, the shadows stretching long and eerie across the cracked pavement. Walking had always been my way of clearing my head, but tonight it felt like a futile exercise.
As soon as I stepped inside the venue, the noise slammed into me—laughter, chatter, and the clinking of glasses mingling into a chaotic symphony of youthful energy. I scanned the room, and when my eyes landed on her, I couldn’t help but groan. Y/N was there, and she was wearing those jeans—God, they looked painted on, hugging her curves in a way that sent my pulse racing. Her legs stretched endlessly, accentuated by those unforgiving black heels that screamed danger. My throat tightened with the realization: she was wearing fuck-me heels.
Fuck me indeed…
I shook my head, forcing myself to look away, as if her mere presence was some twisted magnet pulling me closer. I made my way to the bar at the back, seeking refuge against the wall while I nursed a drink, pretending to be absorbed in the chaos around me. But it didn’t take long before my eyes betrayed me, drawn back to her like a moth to a flame. She was laughing with a group of kids—probably this year’s recruits—her smile radiant and infectious.
Then, like a bad omen, Jungkook sauntered in, drink in hand, striding over to her with that cocky grin of his.
“Yoongi’s here! Let the party begin!” Serena’s voice cut through my thoughts, grating like nails on a chalkboard. I grimaced.
“What took you so long? Had trouble matching that sweater?” Hoseok appeared behind her, donning a tie that screamed ‘pretentious.’
I shot Serena a look, raising an eyebrow, and she responded with a smirk, clearly reveling in my discomfort.
“Yeah… not all of us have the privilege of being dressed by our girlfriends,” I muttered, bitterness creeping into my tone.
“Come on… I kid, I kid,” Hoseok laughed, draping an arm over my shoulder.
“I’ll leave you two to your bromance,” Serena rolled her eyes, tossing her hair back. “I better go suck up to my P.I.”
“How are you?” Hoseok’s tone shifted, sensing the dark cloud hanging over me.
“I’m peachy,” I replied, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
“I see…” He glanced in Y/N’s direction. “Oh… I see.”
“Yeah, well, Jungkook’s trying to get her drunk,” I hissed through clenched teeth, watching as he leaned in closer.
“Right. Jeon’s all over your zygote’s business,” he replied, a knowing smirk on his lips.
I groaned into my beer, bitterness churning in my stomach.
“C’mon! More drinking, less brooding!” He smacked my back playfully, but it only deepened the pit of resentment growing inside me.
An hour later, I was still a wallflower, slouched against my corner, shamelessly staring at Y/N as she flitted around the room. Jungkook kept swooping in like a hawk, but she brushed him off, her laughter echoing like a melody in the air. That was a relief, at least. Yet, reality settled in like a thick fog: she hadn’t even noticed me yet.
Then, our eyes locked. Time seemed to freeze, and I swear I involuntarily smiled. She walked toward me, a small grin dancing on her lips, and I was struck by how her hair flowed over her shoulders, the softness of it almost intoxicating. “Is that a new sweater?” she asked, her voice sweet and melodic.
“Are you making fun of me?” I shot back lightly.
“No…” she chuckled, her eyes sparkling. “You look good.”
“You look good too,” I replied, the words feeling flat against the brilliance of her presence. Well, that was an understatement—she looked stunning.
“You shouldn’t be drinking,” I said, gesturing to the beer in her hand, feeling an unexpected rush of protectiveness.
“Why not?” She brought the bottle to her mouth, her lips wrapping around it like an invitation.
Focus, Min!
“Are you twenty-one yet?” I blurted out, curiosity getting the better of me.
“Are you the party police?”
“Very funny,” I deadpanned, annoyance creeping in as I waited for her answer.
“If you must know, I am twenty-one already, thank you very much.”
“You are?” I was genuinely surprised. She didn’t seem old enough to be a senior, not with that wide-eyed enthusiasm.
“Yep, I missed a year in junior high. No biggie.” She shrugged, casual as ever.
“Oh…” The admission surprised me, stirring questions in my mind. What could have caused someone as smart and driven as her to miss a year?
My distraction drifted away as my gaze returned to her shoulders, delicate freckles dusting her skin, catching the fading light.
“Oh! I haven’t met that one!” Y/N quipped, spotting another recruit. “Be right back.”
I was entranced, eyes glued to her as she walked away, her hips swaying like a pendulum, counting down the moments until she returned. I was royally screwed. Somewhere along the way, I’d transformed from oblivious to hyper-aware, every single action of hers magnified under the microscope of my attention. How could I go back to not seeing her when each new thing I noticed sent heat flooding through me?
Y/N returned, all smiles, clutching another beer bottle that she’d snatched from Jungkook. “Why are you so angry?” she asked, leaning against the wall next to me.
“Y/N, I’m not angry. I’m having fun.” I tried to sound calm, but my voice cracked like thin ice.
“This is you having fun?” she countered, gesturing to my slumped posture with her beer.
“Yes,” I insisted, though my gaze lingered on the constellation of freckles scattered across her nose.
“Standing in the corner, looking at everyone like you’re a bodyguard, or an undercover cop—that’s you having fun?”
“Yes.” I shrugged, clinging to some semblance of composure.
“You’re angry.” She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing in playful challenge.
“I’m not angry!” But deep down, the heat was rising inside me.
She laughed, the sound bubbling up like a mountain spring. “You’re frowning.”
“Because you’re driving me insane!” I inhaled deeply, trying to relax, but she was intoxicating.
“Why?” She stepped closer, her presence an electric charge in the air.
“Because you’re too happy.” And adorable…
“What’s wrong with being happy?” she retorted, her hand perched on her hip, radiating defiance.
My eyes drifted back to her, tracing the curve of her hip accentuated by those devilish pants. I closed my eyes, taking another deep breath to steady myself. “It’s extremely annoying.”
“Well, I’m sorry.” Her smile morphed into a giggle, and I groaned, feeling the weight of my frustration. “Do I really annoy you so much?”
She peered at me, eyebrows knitting together, a small frown blossoming on her face. I resisted the urge to look at her lips, afraid that if I did, I might just pull her in and kiss her right there.
“Yes,” I groaned, hoping my eyes conveyed that my answer was really “no.”
She held my gaze, and it felt like we were suspended in time, the world around us fading into insignificance. My fingers tightened around the neck of my beer bottle, anxiety coiling in my stomach. With a sigh, she shook her head and walked away again, leaving me alone with my turbulent thoughts.
Honestly, Y/N’s unyielding happiness, her enthusiasm, and all that radiance—it wasn’t annoying at all. It was refreshing, endearing, and it inspired me in ways I hadn’t felt in years. I couldn’t help but remember the excitement I once felt about starting this journey, how my heart raced at the thought of diving into research. What had changed? What did success even mean if there was no one to share it with?
So yes, Y/N’s happiness was far from annoying.
What was truly infuriating was that she made it impossible for me to keep my hands to myself.
“Jungkook offered to walk me home,” Y/N said, her voice slicing through the murmur of the crowd like a knife. I kept my gaze fixed on the throng, avoiding her bright eyes, filled with something I couldn’t quite decipher. “But I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
When I finally turned to look at her, a smile tugged at her lips, a spark of mischief lighting her features. “I think you might be right about him—he is kind of a tool.”
A snort escaped me, the tension in my chest easing just a fraction. “Plus I don’t trust him.”
“I don’t trust him either, Y/N,” I admitted, feeling the weight of my own words. It was the only reason I was here, shadowing her like a ghost.
“Can I lie and tell him you’re walking me home instead?”
Her gaze catches mine, and I’m momentarily swept away in the depths of her beautiful eyes, glowing softly under the dim lights, as if they’re hiding secrets just waiting to be uncovered. 
“You don’t have to lie, Y/N. I’ll walk you home myself,” I say, my voice dripping with sincerity I didn’t know I had. She looks down, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, an unintentional cue for me to look away.
When she finally says she’s ready to leave, we exchange goodbyes, and she pauses at the door, rummaging through her bag. I can’t help but smile when she pulls out a pair of black Chucks. As she grips my arm to slide off her high heels, I catch a flicker of discomfort flash across her face.
“Are you okay?” I ask, concern bubbling up.
“Yeah, my feet are killing me,” she replies, a hint of laughter in her voice.
“I could go get my car.”
“Nonsense. It’s just ten minutes away,” she insists, slipping her shoes back on, and we begin our trek.
As we walk toward her building, she animatedly recounts stories about prospective students, her voice weaving a vibrant tapestry that pulls us closer together. It’s no wonder she’s so well-liked; anyone would be a fool not to adore her. 
“Can you hold these?” she asks, passing me her heels as we reach her building. A twinge of envy strikes me at the sight of those dainty straps that had just hugged her ankles.
She digs through her purse, clearly on a mission. 
“Shit…” Frustration laces her voice. “Shit, shit, shit, shit!”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t have my keys… I must have left them inside, in my other bag.”
“Oh…” I glance at the time. It’s past two in the morning. 
Should I offer her a place to stay? That’s what any decent person would do, right? But what if… what if I couldn’t keep my hands to myself?
“I’m so stupid!” she exclaims, smacking her forehead with the heel of her hand.
“Hey, relax… um… I have a bed. I mean, a couch.” 
She looks up at me, skepticism dancing across her features.
“Really, it’s no problem.” I shrug, trying to keep my tone casual, as if it’s just a simple offer rather than an opportunity for something more.
Her expression remains doubtful.
“That’s what graduate student mentors are for, right?”
A small grin appears on her lips, and I can’t help but smile back. If all else fails, maybe I could find a way to make her smile like that—nothing would make me happier.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah… it’s not like it’d be awkward or anything,” I tease, and her laughter lifts the tension in the air.
It takes us about twenty minutes to reach my apartment. Y/N talks a mile a minute, and I barely manage to squeeze a word in, but I don’t mind; her voice wraps around me like a warm blanket on a chilly night.
As we climb the steps of my building, I notice her wince again, gripping the railing for support.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Worry creeps in; she looks genuinely pained.
She takes a deep breath, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’m fine.”
“Y/N, please, just tell me what’s wrong.” I reach for her hand, desperate to ease whatever discomfort she’s feeling.
“Can we just go inside?” She clutches my hand tighter. “I’ll tell you, I promise.”
I help her inside and guide her to the couch. She collapses onto it with a shaky breath, extending her legs and rubbing her thighs—a gesture that sends a pang of concern through me.
“It’s not a big deal,” she begins, trying to sound lighthearted. “Sometimes I get pain in my legs from an old injury.”
“Oh… can I get you something for it?”
“Just water is fine.” She digs through her bag and pulls out a bottle of ibuprofen, shaking it at me with a smile.
As I rush to the kitchen, unease coils in my stomach. She had been walking the whole time, and I hadn’t even noticed she was in pain. I pour two glasses of water, my hands trembling slightly as I hand one to her and settle down beside her.
“You should’ve told me you were hurting, Y/N. I would have gotten the car.”
“I’m all right.” She gives me a soft smile, glancing around my sparsely decorated apartment. “Your place is nice.”
Nice? It’s barren—like a forgotten room in an old house where laughter used to echo. I turn the glass of water in my hands, my mind racing. “Y/N, can I ask you something?”
She meets my gaze as I take a sip. “If you’re wondering if I’m a virgin, the answer is no.”
I choke on the water, caught off guard by her sudden candor. “Jesus Christ, woman, how drunk are you?”
“I’m not drunk at all. I’m just messing with you. What were you going to ask?”
I look at her, heat rising in my cheeks as the tension coils between us. “I was just curious about how you got injured,” I admit, my thoughts drifting to the whirlwind of emotions churning inside me.
“Oh, well… My mom and I were in a car accident. I broke my hip and both my legs.” She says it so casually, as if she’s recounting a minor scrape.
“What?”
“Yeah… it was okay, though. After rehab, I was as good as new!” She beams, her enthusiasm a stark contrast to the weight of her words.
“How long was rehab?”
“Long enough.” 
I remember something she mentioned earlier. “Long enough to make you miss a year in school?”
She responds with a grin and a nonchalant shrug. “Shit, Y/N. That sucks. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s all right. I’m actually glad it happened.” Her gaze drifts down to her legs, fingers tracing an invisible path over her thighs. “It brought my parents back together, just as they were meant to be.”
Her eyes return to mine, and the intensity of her words fills the air. “My parents got divorced when I was little, and my mom and I moved to Florida. But after the accident, my dad came to help, and they just… clicked, I guess. They’ve been together ever since.” She smiles proudly, and I sit there, stunned.
A strand of hair falls across her face, and I can’t resist the urge to tuck it behind her ear—an excuse to bridge the distance between us. With every detail she shares, I feel myself drawn closer, tangled in her life, as if I’m getting lost in her depths.
“Okay…” I set my glass down on the coffee table, the clink echoing like a heartbeat in the stillness. “I think you deserve the bed. I’ll take the couch.”
“Why?”
“Because I just made you walk—”
“It’s not your fault. I locked myself out.”
“Y/N, please…”
“Okay, okay… don’t get all grumpy on me.” She stands, and I hover over her, uncertain how to help, torn between the urge to support her and the instinct to maintain some distance.
“Hey, stop it.” She steadies herself with a hand on my arm. “I’m fine. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I lead her to my bedroom, showing her where the bathroom is. I offer her some of my clothes to change into, but she declines, insisting it wouldn’t be the first time she slept in jeans.
She sits on the bed, and just as I’m about to leave, she calls out, “Yoongi?”
I turn, and she gestures for me to sit beside her, lying back on the comforter, vulnerability etched into her features.
I swallow hard as I lower myself next to her, the proximity amplifying the tension crackling in the air.
“I’m glad you don’t hate me anymore.”
I stare awkwardly at her, afraid to move and wake her up. Leaning back against the headboard, I let the silence linger, my mind racing with all the things I want to say. I want to know her—really know her—not just as the emotionally unavailable guy I’ve been until now.
Hoseok was right—I've got it bad for Y/N Y/L/N.
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I think I preferred it when Y/N was just a blurry thought in my mind, hidden behind a blindfold I’d created to shield my heart. Back then, I didn’t have to wrestle with the urge to kiss her or feel the tempting softness of her hair against my fingers. But now, the blindfold has slipped away, and so has my common sense. Here I am, a hopeless observer, lurking in the shadows as she sleeps, feeling like a total creep.
Her face is peaceful, like a canvas painted with serenity, only occasionally disturbed by the flutter of her lashes. Her lips form a perfect little "o," and the way her bangs fall delicately over her forehead sends my heart racing. I long to reach out, to push them aside, to bury my hands in her hair like I did before. Slowly, I lift my hand, inching it closer to her face, drawn to her like a moth to a flame.
“Jack!” Y/N suddenly cries out, her voice slicing through the silence like glass. My heart jumps. “There’s a boat, Jack!” The frown that creases her brow twists her serene expression into something frantic, as if she’s caught in a storm of dreams.
What is happening? Is she having a nightmare? Who’s Jack? 
Just as quickly, her face smooths over again, tranquility restored as if the storm has passed, leaving only a gentle breeze behind.
Isn’t it just my luck? Y/N talks in her sleep, and apparently, she’s got a soft spot for someone named Jack—maybe a sailor too. 
I could rent a boat. We could go sailing if she wanted. Maybe I could learn to sail. If Jack can do it, how hard could it be? Does she even like sailing? I’ll ask her tomorrow.
What am I even thinking? No, I’m not going to ask her tomorrow, because we aren’t going sailing. She can go with Jack for all I care.
I groan, burying my face in my hands, frustration and disbelief washing over me. I’ve seriously lost it. This is ridiculous.
“Fucking Jess ate my Chobani again,” Y/N mutters, jolting me from my thoughts. Jess? Who the hell is that? And what even is a Chobani?
I should go. I shouldn’t be here, lurking in the shadows, eavesdropping on this craziness.
“Jonah Rodgers thinks I’m sexy…” 
For the love of God! Is she trying to drive me mad?
Jonah Rodgers? The name sounds familiar. Do I know him? Is he that jerk who used to stalk her? 
The stalker. Damn it. If I were still T.A.-ing, I’d fail him for disrespecting Y/N in this way.
I can’t take this anymore. If she mentions another guy, I swear I’m going to lose it. I sit at the edge of the bed, ready to leave, but before I can move, Y/N speaks again.
“Does Yoongi think I’m sexy?” 
I do, I do, I do…
“Hmm… my Grumpy.” 
Her soft moan sends a jolt of electricity coursing through me, and I’m utterly unprepared—shredded, breathless, completely undone. 
Does she mean me? She called me Grumpy once, right? Said I was the only Grumpy she knew. Am I her Grumpy?
Shit, shit, shit!
I slump back against the headboard, the realization both thrilling and terrifying. 
Is Y/N dreaming about me? Is it wrong that this feels so right? That my heart is swelling with excitement at the thought of being part of her dreams?
I turn to look at her again. She’s frowning now, exaggerated and cute, her lips pouting in a way that tugs at my heart.
“Do not touch my samples, Becca!” Her voice is low and raspy. “Don’t be so happy, Becca!” And then she smiles, as if a hidden joke just crossed her mind. “Run, Becca! Run!” 
Oh, she’s definitely dreaming about me, just not in the way I had hoped.
She’s making fun of me—in her dreams.
Wonderful.
I groan, letting my head thud back against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling as disappointment settles over me like a heavy shroud. I shouldn’t be wishing for Y/N to dream about me; it would only complicate things. We can’t be together; this will never work.
In a year, I’ll graduate, and then it’ll be New York City, and Estelle all over again. Estelle and I had been together for four years when we graduated from Cornell. She wanted me to get a “real” job, to move with her to New York. She wanted me to abandon the chance for grad school at UW, to work at one of the top cancer research centers in the country. She made me choose, and I chose research.
And you know what? I have no regrets. Even though she didn’t know everything about my parents, she knew it mattered to me—she shouldn’t have made me choose. So when she said, “If you leave, we’re done,” I left. I figured I was better off alone, or as she put it, “end up alone and rot in lab hell.” It didn’t seem like such a sacrifice then—my relationship with Estelle was mediocre at best.
So, I dove headfirst into grad school and landed in one of the best labs in the program. I didn’t let any woman get in my way. I was focused, determined—until I woke up four years later, an angry, bitter shell of a man, nursing my bruised pride.
What a wake-up call that was! Suddenly, I started noticing everything—the things I fought so hard to ignore. I had worn blinders for so long, and I missed so much.
Honestly, I never expected to feel so unfulfilled.
Isn’t this what I wanted when I chose to leave Estelle? What am I missing? Why am I not enjoying my work anymore?
I glance at Y/N again. Her expression is peaceful once more, an angelic mask that makes me ache with longing. I can see myself falling for her easily—if I’m lucky, she might fall for me too. But then what? 
Then I’ll have to choose: my work, my life, what I owe to my parents, over her. She’ll make me choose, and I’ll choose science—cancer research—and it will shatter us both. This time, it would be the greatest sacrifice I’d ever have to make. And honestly, I’m not even sure I’d be strong enough to make that decision. If Y/N were to love me back, how could I hurt her like that?
I sigh, dragging a hand down my face, the weight of my thoughts pressing heavily on my chest.
Y/N is smiling now, giggling softly, her laughter a haunting melody in the quiet room. How someone can giggle in her sleep is beyond me. After a while, she calms, her breathing slowing even more. With a sigh, I close my eyes and wait, holding my breath for what she might say next.
I wake with a start, my neck and back screaming in protest from the unforgiving embrace of the headboard. I must’ve slept in the same awkward position all night, unmoving. Stretching my arms, I blink against the morning light, squinting at my watch. Seven o’clock. The realization hits me like a punch to the gut—Y/N is gone.
Rubbing my sore neck, I drag myself out of bed and around the apartment, searching for any sign of her. Her bag and heels are missing. An uneasy feeling churns in my stomach as I plod back to the bed, my mind racing with questions about where she could have gone so early. That’s when I notice the slip of paper on the nightstand.
Morning, Grumpy!   I had to leave to get my keys from the landlord.   Thanks for letting me crash last night.   Sorry for your sore neck.   Y/N. :)
I face-plant onto the bed with a groan, trying to drown out the hollow emptiness she left behind. Her scent lingers on the pillows, sweet and intoxicating, wrapping around me like a vise. I inhale deeply, the fragrance filling my lungs, but instead of comfort, it brings a gnawing ache. Grumpy... I’m her Grumpy. The thought claws at me, relentless and unyielding.
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Monday drags in like a slow, inevitable doom. I sit silently in the lunchroom with Hoseok, who prattles on about the success of the recruitment party. His voice is background noise, barely penetrating my thoughts. Thankfully, he hasn’t asked about Y/N yet.
“So, is Yoonji coming this weekend?” he asks, mid-chew of his sandwich.
“Yes. Friday,” I mutter, my mind elsewhere.
“Awesome! Oh man…” He swallows, excitement clear in his voice. “I can’t wait for next week! Spring Break: no undergrads, the gyms and bars all to ourselves!”
“Is it Spring Break next week?” My voice cracks, surprise jolting me back to reality. I had completely forgotten.
“Yeah!”
Great. My stomach twists with dread. Is Y/N leaving for Spring Break? She probably is, isn’t she? The uneasy feeling intensifies, so I shove a forkful of macaroni into my mouth, trying to silence it.
“What’s up your ass?” Hoseok asks suddenly, narrowing his eyes at me.
I shake my head, dismissing him
. “Nothing.”
“Nothing? Seriously?” His disbelief is palpable. “You look like you just downed a bottle of aspirin. Come on, tell me what’s wrong.” 
His eyes are kind, but they only intensify the frustration bubbling beneath the surface. 
I stare down at my plate, willing the irritation to simmer down. He’s my best friend—he deserves to know. But how can I explain this mess? The whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me? 
“Y/N…” I finally murmur, the name tasting foreign on my tongue. 
“Y/N? The girl you were with at the party? What about her?”
“Uh…she crashed here last night. She left this morning to get her keys from the landlord.” I avoid his gaze, my cheeks warming at the admission.
“Dude, that’s awesome!” he grins, elbowing me lightly. “So, you guys are getting serious?”
I scoff, shaking my head. “I don’t know about that.”
Hoseok’s smile falters. “What do you mean? You like her, right?”
“Of course I do!” The admission bursts out before I can stop myself, surprising both of us. I take a deep breath, trying to calm the tide of emotions swelling within me. “But it can’t go anywhere. She’s leaving, Hoseok. She’s probably going to some fancy college or… some fancy job.”
“So? You guys can make it work! Do you want to make it work?”
“I don’t know! I don’t want to hurt her. I can’t…” I trail off, frustration bubbling back to the surface. “I can’t let myself get caught up in this. I’ve worked too hard for my future to throw it all away for her.”
“Wait, what? Throw it all away? You really think you can’t have both? That you can’t just have fun while also focusing on your studies?”
I’m silent, my insides twisting again, a potent mix of anger and sadness at the thought of losing Y/N. “It’s not that simple,” I finally reply.
“Why not? You just told me she crashed here last night! You can’t pretend this doesn’t matter! You can’t keep running from it forever, Yoongi!” His voice rises, frustration spilling over.
“Why are you getting so worked up over this?” I snap, staring at him with incredulity.
“Because I’m sick of seeing you sulk, man!” His hands fly up in exasperation. “You can’t keep pretending like this doesn’t matter! Just tell her how you feel, for fuck’s sake!”
I shake my head, the weight of his words crashing down around me, the walls closing in. I feel suffocated, cornered. “What if she’s not interested? What if I scare her away?”
“Then at least you’ll know! At least you’ll have closure, and you can move on!” 
His voice rings in my ears, echoing through the tangled web of my thoughts. I look down, realizing he’s right. 
I take a deep breath, steadiness creeping back in. “You’re right.” I want to scream. “You’re so right.” But the truth sits heavy on my chest. 
But what if I’m not strong enough to risk everything again? What if I lose her before I ever get to really have her? 
When I get back to the lab, my phone beeps with a new email.
From: Y/N Y/L/N, ynyln(at)u(.)washington(.)edu   Sent: Monday, March 21, 2024, 1:18 PM   To: Yoongi Min, ygmin(at)u(.)washington(.)edu
Hey Yoongi,
Is it okay if I miss lab on Tuesday and Wednesday? I have midterms this week before Spring Break, but I promise I’ll make up for the lost time afterward.
Y/N
She’s leaving.
The thought crashes over me like a tidal wave, pulling me under, swirling with anxiety and dread. She won’t even be here this week. The uncertainty gnaws at my insides, promising nothing but torture ahead.
From: Yoongi Min, ygmin(at)u(.)washington(.)edu   Sent: Monday, March 21, 2024, 1:20 PM   To: Y/N Y/L/N, ynyln(at)u(.)washington(.)edu
Fine.
Yoongi Min   PhD Candidate   Kim Lab   Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center   1100 Fairview Avenue North   Seattle, WA 98109-1024
It’s official: I fucking hate Spring Break.
As soon as I get home, desperation drives me to call Yoonji. I tell myself it’s to find out when Y/N will be back, but really, I need to spill everything—the kiss, the night Y/N slept in my bed, the haunting thought of her heading to Cabo for Spring Break.
“Yoongi, I just don’t understand,” Yoonji says, her voice cutting through the fog in my mind. I’m sprawled on the couch, head tilted back, an arm draped over my eyes like a shield against reality.
“To be honest, I think what you’re doing is stupid,” she continues, her frustration palpable. “You’re miserable. I can feel it. Why won’t you give yourself a chance to—”
“To what, Yoonji? You remember what happened with Estelle.”
“Please, Estelle was an unsupportive bitch.”
“I don’t even know Y/N that well!” I blurt out, my voice sharper than I intended. The fear of history repeating itself looms over me like a dark cloud.
“Y/N won’t make you choose, Yoongi.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You said she’s incredibly determined, that she loves research even more than you used to. That doesn’t sound like someone who would oppose you continuing on this path.”
“I don’t know, Yoonji.” I sigh, running my hands over my face, feeling the weight of her words settle heavily on my shoulders.
“Give yourself the opportunity to get to know her. Don’t deny yourself the chance to be with her just because you’re afraid to feel something.”
“I’m not afraid of feeling anything,” I snap, though the truth is, I’m drowning in emotions already. “But I’ll be done with the program in a year.”
“So what? A lot can happen in a year. You know that better than anyone.”
I groan, conceding. She’s right. She’s always right.
“You’re hurting. You care about her, Yoongi. Why do you have to be so blind?” Yoonji’s frustration seeps through the phone, and I can almost picture her pacing, running a hand through her hair.
“What do you suggest I do? Ask her out?” I retort, the idea weighing heavily on my mind. “She’s my undergrad! I don’t even know if she’s interested in me.”
“Didn’t you say she kissed you back?”
“Yes. But she also said she didn’t want to jeopardize her experience in the lab.”
“That means she’s smart. You shouldn’t let your feelings affect your work, especially if she’s under you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a relationship outside of lab.”
The thought of being with Y/N outside those sterile walls sends my heart racing. I lean back against the couch, releasing a shaky breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“Have you talked about it again? Have you told her how you feel?” Yoonji presses, her voice softening.
“No. I decided to pretend it never happened.”
“Geez, Yoongi. For such a smart guy, you can be so dense.” Her exasperated sigh echoes in my ears, and I remain silent, letting her words sink in. “You need to talk to her, tell her what’s going on. See what she wants. Tell her what you want.”
Staring at the ceiling, I weigh the possibility of confessing my feelings to Y/N. The prospect terrifies me, yet the urge to be honest gnaws at my insides.
“Yoongi, do you know what you want?” she asks gently.
“Yes. I want to go to sleep.” 
Her frustrated sigh tells me she senses I’m closing off again.
“Do you want to be with her?” she probes softly.
“I’ve never wanted anyone more.”
The truth spills out, raw and unfiltered. Her squeal of excitement on the other end makes me rub my hands on my thighs, trying to contain my nerves.
“Then do yourself a favor and talk to her. I’d bet good money she’s already crazy about you.” Her enthusiasm is contagious, and I find myself considering it more seriously.
We end the call, but sleep eludes me. Images of Y/N in a bikini invade my mind, and there’s no chance of me sleeping tonight.
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When I step back into the lab on Thursday after lunch, I’m completely unprepared for the sight of Y/N. She’s there, smiling, and it catches me off guard, my heart racing like it’s just run a marathon. I thought she’d be gone by now, off to live her Spring Break fantasies. My mind has been a battlefield all week, flooded with images of her carefree adventures. Googling “Spring Break activities” had been a catastrophic mistake.
She’s not in her usual lab coat today; instead, she’s wearing a fitted sweater that hugs her figure just right, the V-neck revealing a tantalizing hint of her collarbones. The dark fabric contrasts beautifully with her pale skin, and my imagination betrays me, picturing that skin in a bikini. All I can see is red.
Thankfully, Jimin is nowhere in sight.
“I thought you had better things to do this week,” I say, my voice sharper than I intended as I walk past her, heading toward my desk.
“What do you mean?” Her smile vanishes, replaced by confusion.
“I didn’t know you were coming today. I don’t have time for this.” I wave my hand dismissively, trying to suppress the storm brewing inside me.
“For what? I—I don’t understand.”
These lies spill from my mouth uncontrollably. “Honestly, Y/N, sometimes I think you’re just here for the credits. This isn’t how science works. You need to be consistent.” My voice rises, and I see her flinch.
“Why are you yelling at me? Is this because I missed two days? I’m sorry, Yoongi. I had to study. I promise I’ll make up for it.”
I rub my forehead, frustration clawing at my insides. I know this isn’t her fault, but the anger bubbles over. “Have fun on Spring Break,” I grit out as I storm past her, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Yoongi?” she calls after me, but I keep walking, desperate for fresh air. The cool spring breeze feels like a lifeline, and I gulp it in, trying to calm the chaos inside me. I can’t keep doing this. This is madness.
I don’t get far before I hear Y/N’s voice again, breathless and firm. “Yoongi, what’s the matter with you?” I hadn’t realized she’d followed me. I turn around, and there she is—confused, hurt, and heartbreakingly beautiful.
There’s no point in pretending anymore. I can’t keep up the facade. “I don’t think you really want to know, Y/N.” I run a hand down my face, trying to keep my composure.
She crosses her arms, waiting, an expectant look in her eyes.
“I fucking hate Spring Break, okay? I hate the thought of you parading around with some frat losers, being young, drunk, and reckless. I hate it. I hate all of it.”
Her expression shifts from confusion to understanding, and she relaxes, placing her hands on her hips. A corner of her mouth quirks up. “What are you talking about?”
Is she seriously smirking?
“I’m talking about you going to Cabo San Lucas for Spring Break.”
“Who said I was going to Cabo?” Now she’s fully smiling.
“I don’t know, I just assumed… aren’t you all?” I mumble, embarrassed.
“You have some serious misconceptions about undergrads, Yoongi. We’re not all the same. And that’s not me at all.”
“So you’re not going away for Spring Break?” I ask, still staring at my feet, not wanting to look her in the eye.
“No, I’m not. I was actually looking forward to spending more time in the lab, making up for this week.”
Relief floods through me, but it’s tangled with a crushing sense of shame. “You’re not going away? You’re staying here?” My voice is barely a whisper.
“Yes. That’s what I said.”
I stagger back, feeling like an idiot. I can’t believe I snapped at her like that. As my anger fades, embarrassment rushes in, making my knees feel weak. I might seriously pass out.
“Yoongi? Are you all right?”
I let out a humorless laugh. No, I’m not all right. This is too much.
She steps closer, and I know I won’t be able to resist kissing her if she comes any nearer. I lift my hand in warning and take another step back.
“Yoongi?” Ignoring my gesture, she moves closer and stands right in front of me.
I close my eyes, the truth spilling out uncontrollably. “All I could think about was some punk with his shirt off, a baseball cap on backward, shoving beer down your throat... and it made me want to murder someone.” My hand clutches my chest, heart racing.
She giggles—at my agony? My eyes snap open, and her smile fades under my intense stare. “These past few days have been torture,” I continue. “I can’t get you out of my mind. All I can think about is you—your lips on mine, your legs around my waist. You drive me insane, Y/N. I can’t think straight.”
Y/N’s eyes shine with emotion, and she closes the distance between us, resting her head against my chest. My hand instinctively finds its way to the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. She pulls away slightly, and I lift her chin with two fingers, forcing her to meet my gaze. Her eyes glisten, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, cheeks flushed a delicate pink.
When our lips touch, the electric current between us is undeniable. I close my eyes, exhaling through my nose, and cup her face, my thumb brushing her ear, fingers caressing her neck. Y/N grips my shirt, pulling herself closer. When my tongue slips into her mouth, a moan escapes me at the sweetness of her taste.
I can’t stay away from her anymore. I’m not strong enough.
Y/N wraps a hand around my neck, pulling me even closer. My hand travels down her back, wrapping tightly around her waist. I know she can feel my arousal pressing against her, but I don’t care. When she whimpers against my mouth, I know she feels the same.
Is it possible she’s been yearning for this as much as I have? 
Tell her what you want, Min.
“Y/N, wait.” I gently push her back, keeping one hand on her face. She stumbles slightly, holding onto my arm, looking dazed. “I don’t want this to be another kiss you regret. I don’t want you to be swept away by the moment. I want… I want more.”
She gapes at me, panting.
“I’m sorry I’m being so blunt, but I can’t hide this anymore.” I drop my hands to my sides and step back.
“What are you trying to say, Yoongi?” Her confusion is evident.
“What I’m trying to say is that I want to see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? I-I think I can come in the afternoon between classes.”
“Jesus Christ, Y/N! Would you listen to me? I don’t need you to come to the lab. I want to see you outside of the lab.”
I pinch my nose, trying to calm down, afraid my intensity will scare her away.
“Oh…”
“My cousin is coming to visit. We’re all going out for drinks. Do you want to come with me?”
She looks at me, and then she nods. “Okay.”
Okay… she said yes. Oh my god, she said yes.
I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry I snapped at you like that.”
“I know,” she replies, giving me a small grin that weakens my knees. My hand reaches for her face again, addicted to the softness of her skin as I brush her hair behind her ear and stroke her cheek. She stares into my eyes, cheeks burning, and I’m debating whether to kiss her again when I see Jin’s car pull into the parking lot, and I drop my hand immediately.
Shit…
Y/N glances back and sees Jin getting out of his car.
“I should go study, then…” She looks back at me, and I nod, feeling a mix of regret and anticipation. “I’ll catch you later. Call me about tomorrow.” She brushes a timid finger down my arm before turning to leave.
I stay outside for a few more minutes, gathering my thoughts and waiting for my heart to calm down. 
I did it. I asked Y/N out... sort of.
Now what?
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Yoonji had turned into a shadow in my apartment, trailing me as I prepared for what felt like the most important night of my life. “Have you been using that stubble trimmer I got you?” she asked, her fingers grazing my jaw as if she were assessing a work of art. 
I nodded, feeling uneasy under her watchful gaze. Deep down, I was already regretting the group date we had planned. The thought of going out with Y/N sent my heart racing; adding my cousin and a few friends into the mix felt like a cosmic joke, and I was definitely the punchline. 
As I rifled through my chaotic closet, I tried to tune her out, running my fingers through my damp hair in a futile attempt to calm my nerves. 
“I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.” Leave it to Yoonji to treat every moment like a Broadway performance. I shot her a glare, barely suppressing my frustration as I swept past her in search of my jacket. 
“You’re wearing a polo shirt?” she challenged, disbelief lacing her tone. 
“What’s wrong with a polo shirt?” I snapped, slapping my hands against my thighs in exasperation. The anxiety gnawed at me, and her judgment only fueled the fire. 
Yoonji stepped closer, her expression softening. “Yoongi, my oblivious cousin, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that polo shirt. As long as it doesn’t have holes in it.” 
Relief washed over me like a tide, momentarily pushing my worries aside. I had never cared much for her opinion on my wardrobe; that had never mattered before. But tonight? It wasn’t Yoonji’s approval I craved—it was Y/N’s. I wanted to be more than the cynical grad student she saw in class.
“You look great,” Yoonji said, her smile coaxing a small, reluctant grin from me in return. “If just thinking about her has you acting like this nervous mess, I already know I’m going to love her.”
Yoonji had made it clear she’d ride with Hoseok and Serena so I could pick up Y/N alone. Now, I found myself parked outside her building, panic clawing at my insides. My palms felt clammy as I smoothed them over my thighs, my heart thumping violently against my ribs, and my mouth was desert-dry. It had been ages since I’d done anything like this. Estelle and I had never ventured out much together; I had buried myself in my studies while she lived her own life, leaving me utterly out of practice.
Despite the storm of anxiety raging within me, excitement bubbled up as I thought of Yoonji, Hoseok, and even Serena meeting Y/N. They needed to see how extraordinary she was—smart, caring, and hilariously funny. What thrilled me most was the prospect of spending time with Y/N outside the sterile confines of our lab, engaging with her as something more than just colleagues.
I banged my head against the steering wheel a few times, trying to settle my frayed nerves. My heart leaped when a knock on the window broke through my spiraling thoughts. There she was—Y/N, standing outside with that bright smile and a wave. I quickly unlocked the door, feeling like an utter fool. 
“Hey…” she said as she slid into the car. 
“I’m sorry. I was going to get you. Just… got distracted,” I admitted, feeling like an idiot for letting her down.
“It’s okay.” She shrugged. “Better this way anyway. I didn’t want Jess to see us.”
“Jess?” The name floated through my mind, familiar yet vague—wasn’t she the one from Y/N’s sleep ramblings? The one with the boat?
“Jessica, my roommate,” she explained. “She was in your class last year, and she knows I’m working in your lab… so I don’t want any rumors spreading, you know?”
“My class?” I felt disbelief surge within me. How could this be?
“Intro to Micro. Last Fall. You were our T.A.,” she said matter-of-factly.
“What?” 
“We were both in your class,” she added, unfazed by my shock.
“I was your T.A. last year?”
“Yes.” 
“Are you sure it was me?” I grasped at straws. How could I have overlooked her?
She turned toward me, eyebrow raised in that cute way she had. “Oh, I’m sure.” 
“I’m so sorry,” I blurted out. How could I have forgotten her? 
“It’s okay. You keep to yourself. I get it.” 
“Do we know each other from anywhere else?” My worry twisted into a knot. Had I brushed past her countless times, completely blind to her presence? 
So much time wasted. How incredibly foolish of me.
“Just that class in the fall. Unless you count all the times I waved at you at the gym or smiled at you every Saturday as you passed by my table at the library after getting your coffee.” 
She had been right there all along, and I had missed her completely.
“Shit, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I’ve been such an idiot!” I pounded the heel of my hand against my forehead a few times, embarrassment crashing over me.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Y/N reached for my hand, gently pulling it away from my face.
“No, it’s not. I was completely blind… and I feel like I’ve wasted so much time.” 
“Well, I’m here now…” She smiled, releasing my hand.
“You are.” 
“And you can see me now, right?” 
“You’re all I see now…” The truth swelled in my chest, echoing through me. Y/N was all that mattered, the only one who could unravel this tangled mess of a heart I had. 
“You see?” she said, clasping her hands over her lap. “When you say stuff like that, it makes it really hard to believe you can be such a grump.” She smiled, a shy yet bold thing, and my instinct was to lean in and kiss her, but I tamped down my urge for the sake of the group date.
“Well, no need to worry. I’m still very much a grump.” I offered a wry smile, taking a deep breath. “Shall we do this?” 
Y/N nodded, and I started the car. 
I didn’t mind being a grump, as long as I could be her grump.
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When we pulled up to the bar, I rushed to open Y/N's door, but of course, she was already climbing out by the time I reached her side. My gaze landed on the exposed skin of her collarbones, the freckles scattered across her chest—how had I missed them in the car?
Her white top hung loosely on her frame, the neckline dipping low enough to reveal just a hint too much. Luckily, she wore something underneath, but the sheer fabric let me catch glimpses of her silhouette. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who noticed—some guy outside was staring at her like she was the last meal on earth. My hand found her lower back as I guided her inside, urgency propelling me forward.
Hoseok, Yoonji, and Serena were already at a table, and when Yoonji spotted us, her face lit up like it was Christmas morning. I half-expected her to pull out a camera.
“Y/N, this is my cousin, Yoonji. Yoonji, this is Y/N.” Before I could finish my introduction, Yoonji sprang to her feet.
“Y/N!” she exclaimed, pulling Y/N into an enthusiastic embrace. Her eyes sparkled with joy as she cast me a cheeky grin. “It’s so nice to finally meet you!”
“Yoonji, calm down,” I thought, but I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement. 
“Nice to meet you too, Yoonji,” Y/N replied, her sweetness radiating like a warm glow.
“And you’ve already met Hoseok and Serena.” I gestured to the other two goofballs, who were now staring at Y/N like she was some kind of celestial being.
“Hi, Y/N! How’s life in the undergraduate world?” Hoseok teased as I pulled out a chair for her.
“Lotta drinking, lotta partying… you know, same old, same old.” Y/N shrugged, grinning, and I could see she had already charmed Hoseok.
“So… let’s get to the important stuff.” Hoseok waved a hand at me, a smirk growing on his face. I knew it wouldn’t take long for the teasing to kick in. I rolled my eyes.
“Oh! I know! Yoongi is wearing a polo shirt,” Serena piped up.
“I guess hell froze over, baby,” Hoseok snorted.
“I completely approve, by the way,” Yoonji chimed in, not even bothering to glance my way.
Here we go. I was about to shoot them all a glare when Y/N’s gentle touch on my thigh sent my heart soaring. My eyes darted to hers—she wore a smile that made everything else fade away.
“The cologne… maybe a tad too much?” I heard Serena say.
“Hey, I suggested that!” Yoonji shot back.
The banter continued, but I was lost in Y/N’s gaze, enchanted by the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled at me. The world around us dimmed; it was just her fingers entwined with mine, brushing softly against my palm, the gentle caress of her thumb sending shivers down my spine.
A moment too soon, Y/N turned to address the others. “Why do you guys talk about him like he’s not in the room?” Her words hung in the air, stunning everyone into silence.
I couldn’t believe it. In less than an hour, she had managed to charm my friends while cutting straight to the heart of the matter.
“Well, you’re with him now,” Yoonji finally said, a sly smile creeping across her face. “It’s our job to protect you.”
I would have preferred they protect me from their embarrassing stories, but Y/N seemed to revel in it.
“Protect me from what?” she asked, laughter bubbling in her voice.
“His awful sense of humor,” Serena said, her eyes dancing with mischief.
“Okay, I’m warning you,” I said, grinning back. “You may want to turn around and leave right now.”
Y/N giggled, clearly enjoying herself.
“Hey, if you leave me now, I’m going to assume you’re all crazy,” she said, her smile wide and infectious. 
I couldn’t help but smile back, knowing this night was going to be unforgettable.
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As night settled over us, the world transformed into a playground of laughter and playful banter, wrapped in a soft, velvety blanket. The drinks flowed like a tide, and my heart raced with the electric thrill of the evening. I watched Y/N mingle with my friends, and in that moment, something inside me sparked to life, hinting at possibilities I had yet to explore.
I leaned closer, our shoulders brushing, a daring move that sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach. “What are you doing to me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Just being me,” she replied, her tone light, but the glimmer in her eyes suggested deeper currents.
“Can I hold your hand?” The request slipped from my lips, fragile as a moth's wing.
Surprise flickered across her face as she weighed my words. “Yes.”
The moment our fingers intertwined, warmth rushed through me, narrowing my focus to the electric connection between us. In the distance, Hoseok's teasing banter continued, and Yoonji was lost in conversation with Serena, but they faded into the background. All that mattered was Y/N and the magnetic pull that bound us together.
Yoonji’s voice broke through my reverie. "I'm staying with Em and Serena tonight," she whispered in my ear.
“Yoonji, you don’t need to—”
“Nonsense!” she insisted, her grin stretching wide. “I love her,” she mouthed as she walked away, and I couldn’t help but smile, glancing down at Y/N.
“Oh, you’re not coming with us?” Y/N asked, her curiosity piqued.
“Nope! I need to help Serena pick an outfit for tomorrow. It was really nice to meet you, Y/N. I hope to see you soon!” Yoonji hugged her again, whispering something I couldn’t catch.
Before long, Y/N and I were walking toward my car. I opened the door for her, and she smiled as she slid in. As I drove to her apartment, she asked about Yoonji and our bond. I shared how I moved in with them when I was thirteen, how we’d become like siblings, grateful she didn’t pry into the reasons behind it. Tonight wasn’t the time for shadows of my past.
A comfortable silence fell between us, an unspoken acknowledgment of the fleeting moments we shared. Soon, we arrived in front of her building, and reality crashed in—I was running out of time.
“Can I be honest?” she asked, her voice breaking the silence like a warm breeze.
“Please… always.”
“I don’t want to go home just yet.” She looked at me through her lashes, and my heart raced, a wild beat echoing in my chest.
“Can I be honest too?” I asked, inching closer.
She nodded, biting her lip.
“I really want to kiss you right now.” I leaned in slightly.
Her breath hitched, and she let out a soft sigh. “Can I? Kiss you?” My voice was barely audible, filled with anticipation.
She nodded once, a small smile lighting up her face. I reached for her, brushing her hair back before gently cupping the nape of her neck and pulling her closer.
Our kiss started softly, exploring each other with tentative tenderness. But it quickly grew desperate, fueled by a hunger we could no longer deny. Her hand gripped my shirt, pulling me closer—just as eager. I let my hands roam, one resting on her thigh while the other tangled in her hair, my heart racing with every heartbeat.
“Y/N…” I breathed against her neck, fighting to maintain control. “You need to go inside now, or I don’t think I’ll be able to let you go.”
“Why don’t you come inside with me?” She pulled my face from her neck, her eyes shimmering with mischief and warmth. “Jessica should be gone by now. It’s Spring Break, remember? I might be the only undergrad left.”
The invitation hung in the air, electric and intoxicating. She wanted me to come home with her. Alone. My mind raced as I followed her into her cozy apartment, a space filled with personal touches and the inviting scent of vanilla.
“Welcome to Casa de Jess and Y/N!” she announced, her excitement infectious. “Do you want a tour, Mister?”
I grinned at her playful spirit. “If you’d be so kind, Madam.”
With exaggerated politeness, she led me through her apartment, showing off each room like a proud hostess. “And this is my bedroom.” When she opened the door, my breath caught. It looked like a whimsical explosion of color—pink and feathers everywhere, a bright pink comforter proclaiming “Little Princess” in white letters.
“Oh dear God…” I muttered, glancing around.
“What do you think?” she asked, a hint of seriousness in her tone.
I scratched my neck, searching for the right words. “Um… well… interesting choice of colors, Y/N.”
She burst into laughter, the sound bright and carefree, and I looked at her, puzzled.
“Oh my God! Your face! Priceless!” she exclaimed, doubling over in giggles. “This is Jessica's room!” She laughed so hard she had to lean against the doorframe for support.
“Oh thank God…” I exhaled in relief. “I don’t think I could sleep in here without having nightmares.” I leaned against the doorframe, smiling at the chaos.
But then, her expression shifted from playful to serious as she stepped closer. “Do you expect to be sleeping in my bed anytime soon, Mr. Min?”
“Shit… no… I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.” I ran a hand through my hair, mortified.
“Hey…” She stepped between my legs, her hand resting on my chest. “I was joking.” She smiled up at me, and my heart raced. I wanted her, needed her, craved her.
I traced her lip with my thumb. “You know what’s the first thing I noticed about you, Y/N?” She shook her head, her gaze locked on mine. “Your smile… It’s beautiful.”
Her smile widened. “When you smile, you get all gummy and your face softens. Your teeth are small, too. It’s adorable.”
“Adorable? Here I am, telling you I love your smile, and you tell me mine is imperfect. I’m hurt,” I joked, placing a hand over my heart.
“It’s not imperfect. It’s crooked and mind-blowingly sexy.” She giggled, and I couldn’t help but snort.
“See? There it is.” She framed my face with her hands and pulled me into a kiss. Her lips were soft, and I tried to crouch down to level us, but it felt awkward. Instead, I lifted her by the waist, her legs wrapping around my hips. Y/N’s arms encircled my neck as she deepened the kiss. When her tongue slipped into my mouth, I moaned, pressing her against the doorframe where laughter had just echoed.
My breath came in desperate gasps as I pulled away, kissing along her neck, but the fire ignited within me burned too bright to resist. Her whimpers drove me wild, and there was only so much I could take.
“Next door to the left,” she whispered in my ear.
Holy shit…
I carried her to her bedroom, still wrapped around me. As soon as I opened the door, her scent enveloped me, divine and overwhelming. Trying to stay composed, I ended up slumping onto the bed with her. She squealed and giggled, pulling off my polo shirt. Her hand traced patterns on my chest, making me shudder.
Every cell in my body was on high alert, every touch amplified.
"Y/N…" I groaned when her fingers traced the button-fly of my jeans. "You make me feel like a fucking teenager."
She giggled as my lips found hers. Her hand slipped into my boxers, and when she grasped me, I groaned loudly into her lips. She stroked me tentatively, softly but firmly. After a few strokes, it was too much.
"Y/N, stop… please," I begged, panting into her neck. "I’m going to cum in your hand. I need to slow down."
"Sorry." She released me, sighing. "Too much… too soon?"
"Yes… No… I-I just need a minute." I pressed my forehead into her neck, trying to regain control.
"Okay," she whispered, her hand returning to my hair.
My hands found their way under her shirt, pulling it off. The sight of her, arms stretched above her head, devilish smile on her lips, took my breath away.
"Polkadots?" I teased as her hands flew to my neck, pulling me back into a kiss. Her kisses were eager, biting and pulling at my lip, straining my self-control.
I kissed her neck, my hand slipping under her back. "God, you are so beautiful…" I whispered, unclasping her bra.
Her bra off, I trailed kisses from her neck to her chest, my hands cupping her breasts. Y/N squirmed under me, her moans driving me crazy.
"Can I touch you now?" Her voice was raspy with desire.
"Not yet," I whispered, unbuttoning her jeans.
"Not fair…" she moaned as my fingers dipped into her panties.
My fingers found nothing but wetness, silkiness, and smoothness, a tantalizing blend that drove me wild with anticipation. My dick throbbed painfully as I ground against her leg, barely able to contain myself any longer.
“God, Y/N…” I murmured, my voice a strained whisper.
She whimpered beneath me, her body trembling as my fingers traced circles to pleasure her. I slipped one finger inside, then another, and her scream of my name filled the room, echoing in my ears like a symphony of ecstasy. The sheer joy of her response made me want to cry into her neck.
“Yoongi, please…” she panted, her hands pulling at my hair, desperate. “I want to touch you… please… I need to feel you.”
God…
In one swift move, I had Y/N completely naked beneath me, her chest heaving with gasps. I fumbled for the condom in my wallet, and in mere seconds, I was naked too, hovering over her. Wrapping her wrist in my hand, I guided her to touch me—every inch of me.
Her hand clasped around me, guiding me to her entrance, spreading her wetness. I kept one hand on her breast, the other gripping the blanket next to her face, my control slipping with every passing second. Our eyes locked, the intensity between us palpable.
“Yoongi, what are we doing?” Her hand still gripped me, her voice a mix of wonder and worry.
“God… I don’t know…” I panted, my forehead resting on her neck.
“Is this wrong?”
“Feels right to me.” I groaned into her shoulder as she increased the pressure with her hand.
“I mean… isn’t this against the rules?”
How could she be coherent right now? I was on the brink of losing it, and I wasn’t even inside her yet!
“I-I don’t know, Y/N… Honestly, the rules are very blurry right now.”
“I want you,” she whispered huskily into my ear.
“God, Y/N. I want you too… so fucking much.”
“Would we get in trouble for this?” Her voice held a clear note of worry.
I lifted my head to meet her gaze. “I don’t know… I don’t care… Do you?”
Please, please, please, don’t ask me to stop now. Please…
She shook her head, pulling my face closer to hers in a kiss, positioning herself for me to enter her.
Thank you, God.
Our eyes stayed locked as our bodies connected, the sensation of being surrounded by her utterly mind-blowing. I needed a moment to adjust, Y/N’s moans and the arch of her back driving me insane as I slowly reached the deepest part of her.
I pulled out as slowly as I could manage, then pushed back in. My eyes rolled back, hands gripping her hips, a moan escaping through my clenched jaw. Nothing in my life had ever compared to this, to being with her. No one came even close.
Our bodies moved in sync, and a new terror gripped me: the fear of not lasting long enough to satisfy her. I sought distractions in her breasts, her neck, her lips, but every part of her only turned me on more.
So, I distracted myself mentally, reciting the first thing that came to mind:
There’s antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium… And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium... And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium… And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium…
The words spun through my mind, a desperate attempt to hold onto control, as I plunged deeper into the intoxicating feeling of her.
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It's Tuesday morning, and the sun hasn't even thought about rising yet. The lab calls out to me with its endless list of tasks, each one promising that today won't be long enough to tackle them all. I feel exhausted, bone-deep weary from days that have been both draining and, honestly, the best of my life.
Y/N and I spent the weekend wrapped up in each other, mostly on her bed or the couch. It’s a novel experience for me—taking a break from work on a weekend—but I still managed to squeeze in some research: exploring every inch of Y/N’s body, learning her curves, her soft spots, and the way she sighs when she’s lost in the moment. I’m hopelessly addicted, and I doubt I’ll ever get enough.
In between those moments of passion, she opened up about her family, her childhood, and the accident that changed everything. I kept my past hidden, deflecting the conversation back to her with more questions. I learned that I influenced her decision to join Jin’s lab; she remembered me from my time as her oblivious T.A. I teased her about being a little stalker, but the truth is, I loved hearing her talk.
Y/N could chatter for hours, and more surprisingly, I found that I could listen willingly and happily. She’s an amazing cook, and with each passing day, she feels more and more like a miracle. I kept adding to my mental list of quirky Y/N facts: her underwear is never a solid color—always striped or patterned, like the bra with little pineapples. She re-watches movies until she knows the dialogue by heart. When she made me watch a film about the Titanic, I laughed when I thought it was a documentary. After that, I decided against any sailing plans.
But Monday brought a harsh return to reality. Seeing her in the lab, just out of reach, was torture—pun intended. She wanted to dive into her experiments, and since I skipped the lab all weekend, I had a mountain of work to tackle. We managed to keep things professional, but the tension in the air was thick. Monday nights were reserved for her family’s Skype calls, leaving me alone, tossing and turning in my bed, missing her like crazy.
As I trudged through the hallways, still groggy, I spotted Y/N sitting by the lab door. With her earphones in, she was bobbing her head, lost in her own world. The moment she saw me, she pulled them out, a broad smile lighting up her face.
I swear I’ll never tire of that smile…
“God, Y/N. What are you doing here so early?” I grumble, struggling to match her morning cheer.
“I couldn’t sleep! I’m dying to see if the experiment worked!” she exclaims, bouncing on her toes.
Of course…
“Mhm” I mumble, fumbling for the keys. 
“It’s nerve-racking! A whole day of work, then waiting sixteen hours—sixteen hours!—to see the results?” 
The key sticks in the lock, and I jiggle it impatiently. 
“C’mon, c’mon…” she chants, practically bouncing.
“Y/N…” I groan, turning to her. “I haven’t had coffee yet. Would you calm down?”
Finally, the door clicks open, and she bolts inside, nearly tripping over me. She rushes straight to the incubator, while I drag myself to my desk, her excited chants of “YES! YES! YES!” echoing behind me.
I can’t help but snort. I guess her experiment worked.
She sets the petri dishes on the bench, and her squeal of delight fills the room. “They worked!” she cries, launching herself at me. I barely catch her as she wraps her legs around my waist.
How does she have this much energy? It’s not even eight yet!
“Jesus Christ, woman! What are you on this morning?” 
Her arms encircle my neck, and she beams at me, making my own lips twitch upward.
“Hi, Grumpy.” She runs a hand through my hair.
“Hi…”
“Good morning.”
“Morning, Y/N.”
Her lips find mine, and I’m a goner. I moan into her mouth as she tugs at my hair, ready to take her right there on the bench, on the floor—anywhere. But we’re in the lab.
“Y/N…” I whisper, kissing her neck.
“Hmmm?”
“Someone might come in.” I nibble her earlobe, making her squirm.
“It’s early,” she whispers, her voice husky as she pulls at my hair. 
God…
I set her down on the bench, clumsily knocking over some plates. “Shit... sorry.” I try to pick them up, but she’s pulling at my jeans, pressing herself against me, and I make a bigger mess.
“Did you touch my samples?” she asks, feigning anger, echoing my words from when I snapped at her earlier.
I smile, but the way she bites her lip and the hooded look in her eyes snaps my resolve. My lips crash into hers, and my hands slide under her shirt as I press her back onto the bench, scattering more plates.
Fuck, I’m going to ruin her experiment.
I lift her, her legs locking around my waist. I mean to move her to the unused bench behind me, but her grinding against me messes with my balance. I knock over a chair, slamming my back against the corner of the bench. Groaning in pain, I secure her in my arms.
“Are you okay?” 
The pain clears my head. Reality rushes back, and I realize what we’re about to do—in the lab, on a Tuesday morning, when anyone could walk in.
Just then, I hear rattling keys from the hallway.
Fuck…
I set Y/N down, and she stumbles. I steady her, stepping back just as Jimin walks in.
Y/N smooths her shirt, picking up plates, her face a vivid crimson. I run a hand through my hair, rubbing my sore back with the other. The pain is nothing compared to the throbbing in my pants, but there’s no fixing that now.
Jimin looks at us, eyebrows raised, then heads to his desk. I let out a sigh, glancing at Y/N—she’s still picking up plates, cheeks burning.
Could we be any more obvious?
Y/N and I were deep in conversation about her results, our voices low enough that Jimin, across the lab, pretended not to be listening. Y/N’s work was nothing short of exceptional, and while pride swelled within me, I needed to keep it grounded in reality. Success like this was rare; she needed to understand its value, to cherish it, but also to brace for the inevitable setbacks.
“Are you familiar with Murphy’s Law?” I asked as she finished jotting down her notes.
“Of course,” she replied, turning to face me, her eyes sparkling. “Did you know his first name was Edward?”
“What? No.” Murphy, as far as I was concerned, was just Murphy.
“Yep. Edward Murphy,” she said, her face serious as she began tidying up her workspace.
“You’re kidding,” I said, moving closer, disbelief evident in my voice.
“Nope.”
“How do you know that?”
“I watch Jeopardy a lot.” A small, embarrassed smile tugged at her lips as our eyes met.
“Why am I not surprised?” I muttered, watching her shrug off her lab coat. Her movements were effortlessly captivating.
“Were you going to say something about Murphy?” she asked, snapping me out of my daze.
“Yeah, right,” I said, shaking off the distraction. “Murphy’s Law applies to the lab too.”
“Oh, I know. ‘Everything that can go wrong will go wrong,’” she recited, her tone matter-of-fact.
“Exactly.” I nodded, impressed.
“But I don’t believe in that,” she said firmly, a spark of defiance lighting her features.
“Of course you don’t.” I had inched closer, almost beside her now.
She gestured toward her successful experiment, a triumphant smile spreading across her face. “Murphy was just a pessimist.”
“And you’re a glass-half-full kind of person?” I probed, towering over her with a teasing grin.
“Technically, the glass is always full. Half with water, half with air.” Her eyes crinkled with mischief.
“Are you trying to be a smart ass?” I leaned my elbow on the bench, bringing us face to face.
“That depends,” she said, her voice dropping, locking her gaze onto mine. 
“On what?”
“Do you like smart asses?” She traced a finger along my forearm, sending an electric jolt through my body.
I staggered back, giving her a warning look. She couldn’t be doing this to me—not now.
“Anyway,” she continued, taking a deep breath, “how many of Murphy’s laws do you know?”
Classic Y/N—always one step ahead. I sighed, admitting, “Just the one.”
“That’s it?” Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Enlighten me, then.”
“‘Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse,’” she recited proudly, and I found her knowledge oddly attractive.
A glance at the clock reminded me of the work ahead. How inconvenient.
“That’s a good one. And it’s true,” I said.
“‘Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value,’” she continued.
I chuckled. “Also true.”
“Yoongi, you’re one of the grumpiest, most pessimistic people I know, and you don’t know any of these?” She placed her hands on her hips, teasing me with that playful spark in her eyes.
That was it. I straightened from the bench, glaring at her. She was provoking me, and God, did I want her.
“Last one, I promise,” she said with a smile. “’Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.’ Learned that one the hard way.”
Our laughter mingled until Jimin cleared his throat behind us. “Can you keep it down? I’m trying to do science here.”
I rolled my eyes at Jimin, then turned back to Y/N, who was smoothing her ponytail, giggles subsiding. Her happiness was infectious, and I got lost in her eyes.
“Y/N,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even, “we should check on that gel.”
“What gel?” she asked, puzzled.
“The gel, Y/N.” I stared at her, hoping she’d understand.
“Oh… right,” she said, her smile turning knowing.
I followed her to the dark room, anticipation thrumming in my veins. Once inside, I switched off the lights, activating the IN USE signal. Y/N took a sharp breath, her excitement palpable.
“Are you trying to drive me mad?” I whispered, reaching for her face in the darkness.
“Maybe,” she whispered back, her breath warm against my skin.
My hands traveled to her neck, fingers sliding under her ponytail to release her hair. “Y/N… this isn’t smart. We could get caught.” I lifted her onto the counter, the cold bench pressing into my back.
“Not smart,” she agreed, her breath hitching against my neck.
“Do you know how hard it is to keep my hands off you when you provoke me?” My hand slipped under her shirt, cupping her breast. She gasped, and I pressed myself closer, making my point clear.
“Oh, it’s hard all right,” she giggled, wrapping her legs around me.
“You drive me insane, Y/N,” I murmured, biting her lip. She moaned softly, fisting my hair. “Please… can I?”
“Oh God, yes… Yoongi, please.”
She didn’t have to ask twice. I lifted her with one hand, fumbling with the buttons of her jeans with the other. In seconds, I was inside her, stifling my moans into her shoulder.
God bless a dark room.
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The weeks drift by in a blur of lab work and secret rendezvous. Y/N is a constant distraction—she teases me, contradicts me, drives me mad, excites me, motivates me, and challenges me all at once. I’ve never felt happier. Having her in my life has transformed my days from monotonous routines into a whirlwind of laughter and unexpected joy. I catch myself cracking jokes that aren’t laced with sarcasm, and I genuinely enjoy explaining new techniques to her, savoring our discussions and her insightful challenges. I never imagined mentoring could be so thrilling—or so fulfilling. Y/N pushes me to be better, to be happier, to have fun.
The lab buzzes with the unspoken tension of our secret. I’m sure everyone suspects something, but we maintain a facade of professionalism. Our attempts to date outside the lab are constantly thwarted by inconvenient encounters with colleagues. It’s frustrating as hell. I don’t care what people think, but the risk of getting into trouble with Jin or Y/N losing her chance to work in the lab keeps us cautious. So, we play the game, keeping up appearances, even though we’ve stolen away to the dark room eight times… not that I’m counting.
As the semester winds down, it becomes harder to heed Yoonji’s advice not to overthink the future. Y/N hopes to land a summer internship in the lab, but I haven’t had the heart to tell her how unlikely that is. Jin has never offered an internship after just one semester. I could vouch for her, but she’s adamant about not wanting special treatment. The thought of her securing an internship elsewhere, leaving for the summer, gnaws at me. The impending separation looms like a dark cloud, promising a long and miserable summer.
Tonight, Jin is hosting the department's end-of-semester party. I sit in my car, ready to drive Y/N there, trying to suppress my annoyance at having to pretend all night. We’re picking up Hoseok and Serena too, a cover to avoid suspicion. Waiting in the car like some kind of creep, I watch the building's entrance.
Then I see her, and all my irritation dissipates. Thank God for May weather—Y/N is wearing a skirt. She smiles at me through the window, and as she gets in, her lips meet mine, her hands finding their way to my neck. I encircle her waist, breathing in deeply, savoring her scent. Even after two months, my need for her is as urgent as ever.
“Hi…” she breathes as she pulls back, her fingers tracing patterns in my hair. I close my eyes, enjoying her touch.
“Hi…” I murmur, resting my forehead against hers. “You’re wearing a skirt.” I groan, my hand sliding down from her waist, over her thigh, and under the soft fabric.
“I am,” she says, her lips brushing my neck. I tease her inner thigh, each stroke inching closer to where I want my fingers to be. “What are you doing?” she whispers in my ear.
“I don’t want to go to this thing.” I nibble her earlobe. “Can we just stay here?” My fingers hover over her panties, but she traps my hand between her thighs.
“No…” she breathes, her voice shaky. “You promised we’d go. Jin invited me personally. Please.”
Her plea makes me relent, and I move back, our foreheads still touching. “But you’re wearing a skirt. You know what that does to me?” I caress her thigh again, unable to resist.
“I have an idea,” she giggles.
“I’m going to be hard and uncomfortable the whole time,” I say, trying to keep my tone light.
“I’ll take care of it afterward,” she promises. I groan again, starting the car.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
As I drive, Y/N fumbles with the radio, displeased with the music.
“Oh, I know!” She reaches for the glove box. “Can we listen to this?” She holds up my mom’s Carpenters CD.
My chest tightens, but I try to smile. I haven’t told her about my parents, and while she knows I moved in with my aunt and uncle as a kid, she hasn’t pried. She’s giving me time, waiting for me to open up.
“Not a chance,” I snap, slipping into our usual banter.
“C’mon, I want to listen to it.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“Why have a Carpenters CD if you don’t like them?”
“Y/N…”
I really don’t want to get into it tonight.
“Just one song, please?” Her eager eyes and smile make it impossible to refuse. I nod, focusing on the road. She opens the case and sees my mom’s note, and my chest tightens again.
“Oh…” she says softly. “You didn’t want me to see this.” She closes the case. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s okay, Y/N. Just put the CD on. It’s fine.”
“No, Yoongi. This obviously has sentimental value. I’m sorry.” Concern etches her features.
“Hey, don’t be upset.” I reach for her face, my thumb brushing her cheek. “Let’s forget it. I’ll tell you about the note another time. Okay?”
“I’m sorry,” she repeats, eyes locked on mine.
“It’s fine.” I smile, pushing thoughts of my parents away. I grab my iPod, knowing exactly what will cheer her up. When The Police starts playing, her smile returns, and all feels right in the world.
I place my hand over hers on her thigh, the sensation of the skirt fabric under our intertwined fingers reminding me of the night ahead.
Oh God, the skirt, the party… this is going to be hell.
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“Hey, Y/N! Ready to mingle with the senior citizens?” Hoseok’s voice cuts through the chatter as he hops into the car and settles behind me.
“So, what’s the plan?” Serena chimes in, sliding into the backseat beside Y/N.
“Can we please keep this low-key? We’re just giving Y/N a ride, nothing more,” I say, trying to keep the irritation from seeping into my tone. Of course, they ignore me.
“Y/N, how about you and I walk in first? The boys can follow behind us,” Serena suggests, leaning forward to prop herself between our seats like a self-appointed traffic cop.
“Or… I could stroll in with Y/N, my arm around her shoulders. You know, start some fun rumors,” Hoseok pipes up, a cheeky grin on his face.
“Ow!” He yelps as Serena gives him a swift elbow to the ribs. “Come on, babe! I was just joking!”
“Seriously, Hoseok. That dog act is getting old,” I mutter, catching Serena’s annoyed glare in the rearview mirror.
“How is this not a big deal?” I groan under my breath.
“How about we all walk in holding hands? All four of us!” Y/N suggests, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
I turn to scowl at her. “You too?” She flashes me a grin, scrunching her nose playfully.
We finally pull up to Jin's house, and as we pile out of the car, I notice Y/N walking ahead, chatting with Serena. I fall back next to Hoseok, a knot of anxiety tightening in my stomach. 
Inside, Y/N glances back at me, then disappears into the crowd. I greet Jin and grab a drink, then find a spot by the back wall. Familiar faces from the lab are scattered around, some with their families. I find myself chatting with a few of them, even playing with a little kid in a sweater that says “Future Scientist.” I snort at the irony—here's hoping he grows up to be an engineer instead.
To my surprise, I’m not hating this night. I lean against the wall, stealing glances at Y/N as she lights up while talking to Prof. Tanner, one of the few female professors in our department. I’ve heard she can be a total nightmare, but she’s all smiles for Y/N. What gives? 
As Y/N mingles, I can’t help but wonder if there’s anyone who wouldn’t be drawn to her charm. Just then, Jungkook appears out of nowhere, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. My heart races, and I shoot up from my chair.
“She’s got it under control,” Serena whispers, her grip firm on my elbow as we watch Y/N step away from Jungkook, saying something before he wanders off. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, sinking back down in my seat. Y/N glances my way, her eyes briefly meeting mine before she moves on.
“Yoongi, you need to get it together. You’re staring at her like some creepy stalker,” Serena says, finally releasing my elbow.
I sigh, knowing she’s right. We bicker a lot, but beneath her icy exterior, she really does look out for me.
Hoseok appears, holding another round of drinks, and I begin to feel a little lighter. But when I find Y/N again, she’s deep in conversation with Jin. I can see the passion in her gestures, the way she lights up as she talks about her project. It fills me with pride to see how far she’s come this semester, how confident she is now.
Jin glances at me a couple of times during their conversation. I try to focus on my drink, but the curiosity gnaws at me. Is he proud of her? Does he see what I see?
“Dude, Jimin is giving you a death stare,” Hoseok whispers, snapping me out of my thoughts. I follow his gaze and meet Jimin’s dark brown eyes. He quickly looks away, a slight frown on his face.
I shrug, trying to shake off the feeling of unease. “He has a weird stare. You think he suspects something?”
“Probably,” Hoseok says. “I don’t know how much longer you can keep this charade up. It’s torture.” I rub my chest, where a tightness has been growing since Y/N walked away.
“Jeon can’t take a hint, huh?” Hoseok mutters, and I see Y/N accepting a drink from Jungkook.
Are you kidding me?
My hand tightens into a fist on my thigh as I down the rest of my drink, a wave of frustration crashing over me. Y/N smiles at Jungkook, and while I’m somewhat relieved to see it doesn’t reach her eyes like when she smiles at me, it still makes my blood boil. I want her by my side, to claim her as mine. I want Jungkook to back off.
“Dude, calm down,” Hoseok says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I turn to him, exhaling sharply through my nose.
My night is crumbling, and I feel on the verge of snapping.
“I can’t, okay? I’m going to take a breather.” I stand abruptly, forcing myself not to look for Y/N again. I know if I see her with him, I might lose it and drag her away like some caveman.
“Want me to come with you?” Hoseok asks, his concern evident.
“No, I’m fine,” I reply, but my tone lacks conviction.
I storm into Jin’s sprawling backyard, seeking solace in the shadows. I need to figure out what’s happening inside my head. Why does this pressure in my chest hurt so much? It’s ridiculous—I shouldn’t be feeling like this over someone. I should be rational. 
Sinking onto a bench, I rest my head in my hands. 
God, I’m losing my mind. Or maybe I’m turning into a hypochondriac… or both.
I just want Y/N. I need her. I miss her. I love her.
My head falls back against the bench. 
Is this what love feels like? 
Suddenly, I hear a soft voice. “Hey… what’s wrong?” 
I didn’t even notice Y/N coming outside. I lift my head and lean back, letting out a deep sigh.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” I say, but the anger slips through despite my best efforts.
“Yoongi…” She sits beside me and takes my hand in hers.
“This party sucks!” I snap, but she doesn’t flinch. She never does. Y/N knows me too well, understands my rough edges. I never want to take my frustration out on her.
“What sucks?” Her voice is steady, soothing. How does she do it?
“This stupid party…” I trail off, staring at our hands.
She laughs lightly. ���Are you drunk?”
“No! I’m not!” Realizing I raised my voice again, I groan and try to regain my composure. “I want you beside me. I want to tell Jungkook to back off because you’re mine. I want to hold your hand, put my arm around you, keep you warm. I don’t want to hide this anymore.”
“I know…” Y/N reaches for my face, her fingers brushing my hair behind my ear. I lean into her touch, closing my eyes as her words unravel me. “I want to be beside you too,” she whispers, and it feels like the world has shifted. “But right now, it’s not smart for us. The semester is almost over. I’ll find an internship in a different lab, and then we won’t have to hide anymore.”
So I’m screwed either way. If she finds a different lab, we won’t have to keep this secret, but I won’t get to see her every day. And if she stays, we’ll be stuck in this limbo.
“Can we go soon?” I plead, my frustration boiling over. I want to escape this place, take Y/N somewhere safe where I can finally let myself be with her.
“We just got here,” she giggles, trying to lighten the mood. “Stop being so grumpy and let’s get back inside.” She rises, but I grip her hand tightly.
“You know I hate when you call me grumpy.”
“No, you don’t. You love it,” she counters with a bright smile.
I do love it. And I love you.
The words sit heavy on my tongue, burning to be spoken, but I hold them back.
I pulled her gently between my legs, my hand finding its way to her cheek as I brought our lips together. She kissed me back, soft and tentative, but then, with a push against my chest, she pulled away.
I groaned, rising from the bench. “I’ll go in first. You follow in a few minutes, okay?” I needed a moment to gather my thoughts, and the warmth of her fingers lingering on my chest felt like a whisper of reassurance.
“Yeah…” I breathed out, almost a whine.
“And try to have some fun.” She shot me a playful smile that sent a flutter through my chest.
“Yeeees…” I groaned again, turning to walk away.
“You’re being a big baby, you know that, right?” Her teasing tone made me roll my eyes.
“Y/N, don’t provoke me,” I sighed, tugging at the hair on the back of my neck.
“Okay, okay.” She giggled, her laughter lightening the air between us. “I promise to sit by you for a bit.” With that, she let me head inside alone.
I lingered outside for a few more moments, trying to cool off and collect my thoughts before re-entering the fray.
Just as I was about to step back in, Jimin stumbled outside, looking a bit worse for wear. “Yoongi! There you are,” he said, plopping down on the bench next to me.
“Jimin,” I greeted, not really in the mood for small talk.
“So… are you like social now?” he asked, his words slurred from the alcohol he’d consumed.
“What do you mean?” I feigned interest, though I really didn’t care.
“You never used to come to these things,” he pointed out, sounding suspicious, as if I’d committed some sort of crime.
I shrugged and stood up, feeling the urge to escape. “Are you sleeping with your undergrad?” he blurted, trying to whisper but failing miserably.
A glare shot across my face as I realized he suspected something. Jimin was definitely too drunk for this conversation. “Jimin, I think you should stop drinking,” I advised, and when he just stared blankly, I added, “I better get back inside before Hoseok thinks I left without him.” I didn’t wait for his reply as I headed back in.
Y/N was sitting with Hoseok and Serena when I walked over, and the moment she smiled at me, my chest tightened with a mix of longing and pride. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her hand or leg, but I managed to sit back, trying to play it cool. 
I was surprisingly glad I’d come. I’d anticipated a dull evening, but it turned out to be quite enjoyable. Watching Y/N all dolled up, chatting with everyone, filled me with a sense of pride. 
Then, as Jin started playing Nelly, the atmosphere shifted. Seeing Dr. Amun-Kebi, bow tie and all, dancing to “Hot in Here” was an image that would be burned in my memory forever.
Later, Y/N paced nervously through my room in her underwear, her damp hair leaving a faint mist in the air. I watched her, my heart pounding at the sight of her anxious movements as she rummaged through her bag. The tension felt heavy, almost suffocating.
“Y/N, you’re going to do great,” I said, my voice still laced with sleep as I tried to offer her some comfort.
“You don’t know that,” she replied tightly, finally finding what she was looking for. 
“You know this stuff better than anyone else in that room,” I said, propping myself up on my elbows to catch her gaze.
“That’s not true. You’ll be there too.” She faced me, comb in hand, her worry evident as she began to untangle her wet hair.
“Exactly! So, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” I flashed her a reassuring smile, but it felt weak against her rising anxiety.
“I stutter when I’m nervous,” she admitted, her voice wavering as she pulled out her clothes and bent over, her vulnerability stark against the backdrop of my cluttered room.
“Then try to relax,” I said, taking a deep breath. “You’ve put in so much work, and you know your project inside and out. You’ll do amazing, Y/N.”
“What if Jin asks me something I don’t know?” Panic danced in her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips.
“You don’t have to know everything. I’ll be there too—this is my project too. Remember, it’s not a test. The point is to discuss the results together, nothing more.”
Slowly, her frown faded, replaced by a tentative grin. She climbed back onto the bed, straddling me, her wet hair dripping onto my shoulder. The scent of her filled the air, intoxicating, as she leaned in to kiss me softly.
I lay back, tracing the strap of her bra with my finger. “I know how to get you to relax,” I teased.
“Not a chance, Grumpy. We’d be late,” she shot back, rubbing against me just enough to send a bolt of desire through my body.
“Y/N, you’re such a tease,” I groaned, dropping my head back in exasperation.
“And you have a foul mouth, Min,” she replied, disappearing into the bathroom, her voice echoing playfully.
“Which, coincidentally, you love,” I called after her.
She poked her head out, toothbrush in her mouth. “That… I do.”
With a lazy stretch, I got up from the bed, dragging my feet toward the bathroom. She stood by the sink, brushing her teeth in her adorable smiley-face underwear, making me ache with need. “You’re going to pay for my blue balls tonight,” I murmured into her neck, eliciting a giggle as my stubble brushed against her soft skin. 
She bent over to rinse her mouth, pressing her behind into the growing bulge in my boxers, causing a deep groan to escape my lips. I playfully smacked her ass as she squealed, darting out of the bathroom.
“Don’t take forever, Grumpy. I want to be early to set things up!”
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Y/N and I stood in the seminar room, preparing everything for the presentation. The space was cozy, just big enough for the nine of us in our group, including Jin. After confirming that all the slides displayed correctly, I shot Y/N an encouraging smile and took a seat toward the back, keeping a close eye on her.
I could see the nerves bubbling beneath her composed exterior. We had gone over every detail last night, and I knew she was ready for this moment.
Jin kicked things off with some lab business, and then it was Y/N’s turn to shine. As she started her talk, she stumbled over her words just once at the beginning, but quickly found her rhythm, her confidence blossoming with every passing second. My heart swelled with pride as I watched her speak; she was absolutely incredible.
Jin seemed impressed too, prompting her to elaborate on a few points, which she handled flawlessly. But then Jimin jumped in with questions that felt a bit off-base, probing into unrelated techniques and approaches. Y/N stumbled over a couple of his inquiries, but she made educated guesses, maintaining her poise. Still, I could feel my irritation rising. What the hell was Jimin’s problem?
“That was all nice… uh… Y/N?” Jimin hesitated, clearly relishing the moment as he mispronounced her name. My blood boiled at his deliberate slight. 
“I just don’t see the point.”
“The p-point?” Y/N stuttered again, and it took everything in me to keep my temper in check. I wanted to tear Jimin apart for being such a jerk.
“Yeah, I mean… so you found two new toxin genes. How is that going to help anything?” Jimin shrugged dismissively, and I could feel my frustration reaching a boiling point.
Before Y/N could respond, I jumped in, my voice sharper than I intended. “Oh, I’m sorry, Jimin. Are you questioning the impact of my research?”
Jimin turned to face me, a smug expression creeping across his face.
“Yoongi…” Jin’s warning gaze made it clear I needed to rein it in.
“No, seriously. Please, tell me if you are,” I shot back, my eyes locking onto Jimin's, daring him to continue.
“Actually,” Y/N interjected softly from the front of the room, pulling our attention back to her. “I think I might be able to answer that question.” She glanced at me for permission, and I nodded, stepping back to let her take the spotlight.
“Please, go ahead,” Jin encouraged her, his tone supportive.
“Well… if these two toxins are, as we’ve shown, involved in the cancerous growth of stomach epithelium cells, then studying their protein structure and interaction will provide insight into the anomalous stomach pathology caused by H. pylori… and its possible cure.”
I couldn’t have put it better myself. My heart swelled with pride and something deeper. Marry me?
“Marvelous!” Jin exclaimed, while Jimin huffed, sinking into his chair in defeat. My annoyance at Jimin evaporated, replaced by overwhelming joy. I couldn’t take my eyes off Y/N as she smiled, tucking her hair behind her ears. I wanted to run to her, scoop her up in my arms, and kiss her senseless, but I managed to stay seated, a wide grin plastered on my face.
As the room emptied, I lingered behind with Y/N, pretending to help pack up the projector and laptop. It was just an excuse to stay close to her, to contain the waves of emotions crashing inside me. Jin congratulated her one last time before leaving, and I counted his steps, waiting until he was far enough away. My heart raced, and when I could wait no longer, I dropped everything and rushed to Y/N, cupping her face in my hands and kissing her desperately.
“You did amazing!” I said, my voice breathless with excitement.
“I was so nervous!” she admitted, her eyes wide.
“I know, but you nailed it!” I kissed her again, unable to get enough of her.
Still holding her face, I searched her eyes. “Geez, Y/N… you’re incredible. I—” I leaned closer, resting my hands on the table behind her, my lips trying to convey everything words couldn’t. It was more than just her success or my pride as a scientist; it was so much deeper than that.
“I want to cook you dinner tonight,” I said, pulling her into a tight embrace.
She smiled up at me. “You do?”
“Yes. We’re having a celebration date at my place.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” I kissed the top of her head, reluctantly letting her go as we gathered our things to head back to the lab. My heart was full, my mind racing with excitement and a twinge of fear. I’d never been happier in my life.
Now the only question was: what on earth was I going to cook for Y/N?
We returned to the lab, the earlier tension between Y/N and me fading as we wrapped up our tasks. Her eyes sparkled with determination as she headed off for her final exam, and we agreed to meet at my apartment for dinner later. Just as I was about to slip out early to prepare, an email notification pinged in my inbox.
From: Seokjin Kim, seokjinkim(at)fhcrc(.)org   Sent: Friday, May 13, 2024, 4:27 PM   To: Yoongi Min, ygmin(at)u(.)washington(.)edu  
Yoongi,
We need to talk about your undergrad. Please stop by my office.
Jin
-
Dr. Seokjin Kim   Member, Division of Basic Sciences   Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center   1100 Fairview Avenue North   Seattle, WA 98109-1024  
Shit. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead. Jin had never summoned me to his office like this before. He usually came down to the lab if he wanted to talk. The email's terse tone sent a chill racing down my spine. There was only one reason he’d call me in like this—he knew about Y/N and me. 
That jerk, Jimin, must have said something. 
No point speculating now; I had to face Jin. My heart raced as I imagined the worst. He’d tell me Y/N and I couldn’t be together, that she wouldn’t be able to work in the lab anymore. The thought twisted my gut with regret. I should have been more careful, kept my feelings in check.
Shit.
I knocked on Jin’s door and stepped inside. He was facing his computer, barely glancing at me as I sank into the chair across from him. 
“Hello, Yoongi. Take a seat,” he said, his voice calm but layered with an undercurrent I couldn’t quite place. “Let me just finish this email.”
I watched him type, the sound of the keys echoing like a death knell. Finally, he turned, a smile dancing on his lips that didn’t quite reach his eyes. I nodded, trying to mask my nerves, my hands gripping the chair arms.
“I have to say, I was very impressed with Y/N’s seminar. She showed a broad knowledge of the project, answered questions confidently, and gathered an impressive amount of data for just one semester.”
“She is incredible,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
Nice, Yoongi. Way to keep it cool.
Jin raised an eyebrow, nodding. “She does seem very mature, dedicated, and hardworking.”
“She is.” I couldn’t help but think of all the moments we’d shared, both in the lab and out.
“So, I called you in here for two things. First, I want to offer Y/N a position as a summer intern. What do you think?” 
My heart leaped. Jin had never offered an undergrad a position after just one semester. This was amazing! Y/N was going to be thrilled. 
“That’s… um… that’s great! She completely deserves it, and it would be an incredible opportunity for her. She wants to apply to grad school next fall, so summer research would be really beneficial.”
“I see… so you approve?” Jin asked, tilting his head.
The way he looked at me made my blood run cold. He didn’t need my approval. Something was off.
“O-of course,” I stammered, my instincts telling me there was more to this conversation.
“Well, that leads to the second thing I wanted to discuss.” He shifted in his chair, crossing his legs as if he were settling in for a serious talk. 
Here we go…
“It seems you have a very close relationship with Y/N. You seem very… protective of her.”
I knew it! Jimin must have spilled the beans. My fists clenched at the thought.
“Now, I understand it’s in your nature—her being under your care and all—to be protective. But there’s something else,” Jin continued, tapping his finger against his lips thoughtfully. “I’ve noticed the change she’s brought about in you. It’s fascinating.”
Geez… Jin and his fascination.
Before I could respond, he went on. “Of course, I would never ask if there’s something unprofessional going on because that would be tactless. However, you should know that involving yourself in a romantic relationship with an undergrad—especially if she’ll be getting paid for the summer—is completely unacceptable.”
Fucking shit.
My hands gripped the chair so tightly that my knuckles turned white. I couldn’t do this. Hiding my feelings for Y/N felt impossible, but I’d have to—for her sake. This was an incredible opportunity. We’d have to keep it up until she graduated. Damn, that was a whole year! Maybe I could graduate sooner, find a job in another lab…
Jin was staring at me, eyebrows raised, when suddenly he burst out laughing, the sound echoing in the small office.
“I’m just messing with you, kid.” He slapped his thighs as his laughter subsided. “Your personal life outside this lab is none of my business. As long as it doesn’t affect your work or hers, I have no problem with it.”
I stared at him, dumbfounded. Did he just say what I thought he said?
“You know, when I met Mrs. Kim, she was a post-doc in this lab.”
“I didn’t know that…” I exhaled, the tension draining from my body.
“Well, now that this is settled, I’ll offer Y/N the position.”
“O-okay.”
Still in shock, I left Jin’s office. Before I even reached the lab, my phone rang—Y/N, squealing about Jin’s offer. I didn’t mention my conversation with him; I’d save that for tonight during our celebration dinner.
Our celebration dinner… Oh God. What was I thinking? I couldn’t cook!
I definitely needed to stop at the grocery store unless I wanted to serve Y/N mac and cheese for dinner. Sighing, I realized I had no idea what to prepare. Time to turn to my all-knowing best friend: Google.
Search: What to cook for your girlfriend? Search Results: 5 Easy Meals To Cook For Her – AskMen.com
AskMen.com? Seriously? 
Chipotle Shrimp Kabobs…
What the actual fuck?
Sautéed Lemon Garlic Chicken…
Really, AskMen? Really? 
I groaned, frustration bubbling up. This was not going well. Maybe I should try again.
Search: Easy dinner for two Search Results: Cooking for Two Recipes – Allrecipes.com
Allrecipes.com? I think I’ve heard Yoonji mention this site before. 
Salmon with Raspberry Ginger Glaze…
Holy shit! And these are the easy ones?
I slammed my forehead against the desk repeatedly. Okay, maybe I should stick to something I already knew how to make… like grilled cheese. Or pasta! I could whip up some pasta sauce.
Search: Easy Pasta Sauce Search Results: Easy Vodka Sauce – Allrecipes.com
Now we’re talking. 
I jotted down all the ingredients and headed to the store, feeling a flicker of hope.
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I was chopping onions into tiny squares when my phone buzzed with a text from Y/N.
Undergrad: I’m done with the semester! Woot! Woot! Do you want me to come early to help with dinner?
Yes… please… no!
C’mon, I can handle this. How hard could it be? Just follow the protocol, Min.
Me: What? No faith in me, Y/L/N?
I typed quickly, trying not to let the onion juice splatter all over my cell. 
Shit…
Undergrad: I would prefer not to get food poisoning. I have an internship this summer! :)”
I couldn’t help but smile at the screen.
Me: You’re distracting me. See you here at 7. P.S. Smiley faces are lame.”
Undergrad: And you, my Grumpy, are adorable!
I chuckled, my heart racing with excitement. Maybe I could do this after all. Just as long as I didn’t burn the kitchen down.
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When Y/N knocked at the door, it was only a quarter to seven. I had the garlic bread in the oven, and the sauce still needed another thirty minutes to simmer. I’d hoped to squeeze in a quick shower before she arrived, but clearly, that plan was a bust.
I opened the door to find Y/N standing there, a bright smile lighting up her face. “Did you wrestle the tomatoes?” she giggled, tiptoeing in for a quick kiss. “Hi…”
I wanted nothing more than to pull her close, but I was covered in tomato juice and splatters from head to toe. “Give me a sec,” I said, retreating to my bedroom to change.
When I returned, she was by the sink, eyes wide as she surveyed the chaos I’d created. “Geez, Yoongi. How many things are you making?” She gestured dramatically to the pile of pots and utensils stacked high.
“Just the one dish, Y/N,” I replied, trying to sound casual while stirring the bubbling sauce.
“Did you feel the need to use every pot in the kitchen? Were you trying them all out?” She raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile on her lips.
“Okay, Y/L/N. You’re getting on my nerves. I’m trying to cook here.” I continued mixing, trying to ignore her playful jabs.
“You should use a wooden spoon,” she advised, inching closer with a wooden spoon in hand. “The metal one makes the sauce acidic. The metal reacts with the pH of the tomatoes—”
I shot her a glare. “I didn’t even know I owned a wooden spoon,” I grumbled, taking it from her. “I almost have a PhD, you know.”
“Okay… okay… Mr. PhD.” She waved her hands in mock surrender. “Can I play some music?” She reached for my laptop on the counter and gasped, laughter bubbling out. “Oh my gosh… you googled the meaning of sautéed?”
“Okay, that’s it, Y/L/N.” I pretended to drop the wooden spoon over the counter dramatically. “No dinner for you.” I pointed a finger at her, struggling to keep a straight face.
“I’m sorry!” she laughed, and I stepped closer, cornering her against the counter. “It does smell delicious,” she whispered, running a finger down my chest.
“And I haven’t even showered yet.” I dropped kisses along her neck, my hand sliding beneath the hem of her shirt.
“You do smell delicious too,” she said in a husky whisper.
“Liar. I stink of onions.”
“Only a little bit.” She giggled into my neck as I lifted her up onto the counter. “Thanks for making me dinner.”
“My pleasure,” I murmured, nuzzling her neck. She smelled amazing—like warmth and sunshine. I pulled back to look into her eyes. “Congratulations on your internship, Y/N. You absolutely earned it.”
“Yeah… about that,” she said, a nervous giggle escaping her lips. “I haven’t said yes yet.”
“Why not?” I asked, confusion painting my features.
“Well, I have to think about it.”
“Y/N, it’s an incredible opportunity. Jin has never offered an internship to a student after only one semester of work.”
“I know… but…” She bit her lip, trailing off.
“What is it?” I cupped her cheek with my hand, rubbing my thumb along her skin.
“Well… are we going to be okay if I join the lab for the summer? We’ll have to keep hiding this, and I know it’s been getting… um… difficult… for both of us.”
I sighed in relief, a smile creeping onto my face. It was sweet of her to include herself, especially when I’d been the one making everything complicated. The thought of her giving up this chance for us made my heart swell. “Yeah… about that…” I echoed her earlier words. She looked at me expectantly. “I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult about the whole thing… but it turns out, we don’t need to hide anymore. I mean, we should still keep things professional in the lab and all, but… Jin sort of knows.”
“WHAT?” She pushed me back with a hand on my chest, her eyes wide.
“I think it was becoming obvious, Y/N. He didn’t ask me directly, but he said our personal life had nothing to do with our work. As long as it didn’t affect our performance, he didn’t care.”
“He doesn’t care?” Her voice was still high-pitched with surprise.
“Apparently, his wife worked for him once too…” I shrugged, returning my attention to dinner. I stirred the sauce and tossed a pinch of salt into the boiling water before adding the spaghetti.
“That… that changes things,” she said slowly, her brow furrowed.
I stepped back between her legs, looking into her eyes. “What is it?”
“So, um… do you want me to take the internship? You won’t get tired of me?”
“What kind of question is that, Y/N?” I shook my head, feeling a pang in my chest. “I’ve been aching, physically hurting, thinking about you taking an internship somewhere else and leaving me for the whole summer.”
Her smile was radiant, brightening the dim kitchen. “You have?”
“Yes…”
“Well, it looks like I won’t be going anywhere,” she declared.
“Good. Because I have a lot of work to do, and I could really use an overachieving undergrad with some pretty amazing skills at the bench.”
“I’d say my skills go beyond the bench. Wouldn’t you agree?” she asked, a teasing smirk playing on her lips.
“I would…” I pointed the wooden spoon at her playfully. “But don’t distract me now, or I’ll burn your dinner.”
Dinner turned out surprisingly well. We ate as she excitedly recounted her classes, finals, classmates, and professors. I sat back, just soaking in the sight of her—how her eyes lit up when she spoke, how her mouth curved into a smile, the way her eyebrows danced with every emotion. Watching her enjoy life, so passionate and full of energy, felt like a precious gift I never wanted to take for granted.
Y/N was drying the last few dishes, the rhythmic swish of the towel against porcelain filling the quiet kitchen with a comforting cadence. I approached her from behind, the warmth of her body radiating toward me as I leaned in to kiss her neck. The familiar flutter of anticipation twisted in my stomach. “You want to show off some of those non-bench skills of yours?”
She turned to me, a playful smile on her lips. As I leaned on the counter, I caught a whiff of my own odor wafting up. “God, I stink…”
Her laughter bubbled up, light and teasing. “It’s fine.”
“Do you mind if I take a quick shower?” I asked, a hopeful lilt creeping into my voice.
“Can I join you?” 
A grin broke across my face, and I took her hand, leading us toward the bathroom. The air between us crackled with a tension that felt electric, urging me to shed my shirt and pants before we even reached the shower.
She kicked off her shoes, her fingers deftly unbuttoning her jeans while I turned the water on, steam swirling like ethereal ghosts in the dim light. “May I?” I asked, wrapping my fingers around her wrist. She nodded, her eyes shimmering with mischief.
With practiced ease, I unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them down to her ankles. As I knelt to kiss her calves, then her knees, and finally her thighs, her giggles rang out like music, lifting the weight of the world off my shoulders. “Your scruff tickles,” she said, her voice bright and breathy.
I lifted her shirt over her head, tracing my fingers along the delicate straps of her bra. Once our underwear was discarded like forgotten memories, I pulled her close, feeling her warmth envelop me as her legs wrapped around my waist. Our differing heights made this an all-too-familiar arrangement, a perfect fit for everything we were about to share.
She squealed as I jumped into the shower, icy water hitting us both and sending shockwaves of heat through my body. Her lips found mine, soft and insistent, and I pressed her back against the cool tiles, the world outside fading away.
“Put me down,” she murmured hoarsely into my ear.
I obliged, feeling the rush of her kisses trailing down my chest as she sank to her knees, a wicked smile playing on her lips. 
“Y/N…” I breathed, leaning against the slick wall for support, knowing what was coming. This was one of her non-bench skills—a skill I’d come to appreciate in ways I couldn’t quite articulate. The water cascaded over us, hot and cold, our bodies entwined in a dance as old as time.
She began slowly, teasing, her hands wrapping around me, her tongue swirling around my tip, and I groaned, the sound swallowed by the rushing water. My instincts told me to hold back, but the pleasure was too sweet, too intoxicating. 
“Y/N…” I rasped, the words spilling out like a confession, “I’m… shit…”
But she didn’t relent. No, she tightened her grip and quickened her pace, and as my knees weakened beneath me, I surrendered to the waves of ecstasy crashing over me. I grabbed at the shower curtain rod, but it shook under my weight. I couldn’t hold on anymore.
With a final, desperate groan, I let go, surrendering to the moment, the pleasure consuming me entirely. She rose from her knees, licking her lips, that look in her eyes making my heart race. “You are one talented woman,” I murmured against her neck, panting.
Still wrapped around me, I stumbled into the bedroom, a tangle of limbs and laughter. I collapsed onto the bed, her body beneath me, and kissed her everywhere, exploring the soft curves that felt like home.
I knelt beside the bed, pulling her legs over my shoulders, my hands wandering over her hips as I feasted on the sweetness before me. The taste of her was electric, sending jolts of desire straight to my core. 
“God, Y/N, you taste even better than you smell,” I groaned, losing myself in her as she writhed beneath my touch, her moans filling the air like a siren’s song. 
It was then that I realized bringing her pleasure was no longer just a thrill; it was my favorite pastime, a dance of intimacy that bound us closer than any words could express. I placed soft kisses along her body, the world outside fading into obscurity, leaving only us—lost in our own private paradise. 
“Mmmmmm… Yoongi…” she sighed, fingers tangling in my hair. “Very… talented… yourself.”
I chuckled, planting another kiss on her lips, affection bubbling up like a tide. I love you, I love you, I love you…
“Inside… now,” she commanded, breathless and eager.
“Yes, ma’am,” I grinned, knowing this night would linger in our memories long after the water had dried.
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“Y/N?” I gently comb my fingers through her damp hair, the strands clinging to my chest like the remnants of a storm.
“Hmm?” Her voice is soft, almost dreamy, as if she’s still wrapped up in the warmth of the moment.
“I… I want to tell you about my parents.” As I speak, she lifts her head, folding her arms over my chest, resting her chin there like it’s a pillow—a sanctuary amid the chaos of my memories.
A tiny grin dances on her lips, and she nods, encouraging me to continue.
“You probably guessed that they’re dead, right?”
She nods again, her gaze steady. “I know they’re not part of your life now… I figured something must have happened.”
“My dad died when I was four,” I say, the words tumbling out bluntly, like the beginning of a ghost story. 
“I’m sorry…” Her voice is small, fragile.
“I don’t remember him, except for pictures.” I shrug, trying to shake off the weight of the past. “He had pretty aggressive colon cancer—killed him in two months.”
“Oh my God, Yoongi… I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine.” I attempt a smile, but it probably comes out crooked and imperfect, like an old photograph faded by time. “So it was just my mom and me for a while… but when I was eleven, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.”
Her eyes widen, a shadow of understanding crossing her face as she starts rubbing gentle circles on my chest with her fingers, an attempt to soothe the pain I’m dredging up.
“She was so strong, though. She fought it for almost two years, with the most eager and positive attitude you can imagine. Kind of like you, in a way.” I flash her another smile, hoping to lighten the moment, but Y/N’s eyes glisten with unshed tears, and she remains silent, letting me spill my heart.
“When she started getting worse, we moved in with my aunt, uncle, and Yoonji. My dad’s brother, Namjoon, is one of the best oncologists on the West Coast. But after metastasis, there was pretty much nothing else he could do.” 
“And that’s why you do cancer research,” she says, piecing it all together.
“It was Namjoon’s idea, really. He talked about how frustrating it was, being an oncologist, waiting for new therapies, new drugs, and discoveries. I figured it made sense to devote my life to that.”
“It does…” she replies, her tone soft but firm, a steady anchor in my turbulent sea of memories.
“I know it’s not a very profitable career…” I pause, the weight of Estelle’s words echoing in my mind, the sting of her judgment lingering like a bad dream—wasting my time.
“Profitable?” Her disbelief catches me off guard, pulling me from my thoughts. “What do you need so much money for anyway? You’re doing something you love. Something meaningful. That’s so much more important.”
Y/N renders me speechless with her insight, her understanding washing over me like a wave, leaving me breathless. I kiss the top of her head, the moment stretching between us until I decide to share the last piece of my story, the promise I made her before.
“My mom… um… she loved The Carpenters. She would make me sing their songs to her all the time. At the end—when she was breathing through a tube and couldn’t speak anymore—she wrote that note you saw on the CD.”
“‘I’ll be with Daddy soon’?” Y/N remembers, her voice barely a whisper, the words hanging heavy in the air.
“Yes…” I run a hand through my hair, staring at the ceiling as if the white paint might offer me some solace. I try to breathe through the lump in my throat. “I still miss her… so much.” I keep my eyes fixed on the ceiling, willing them not to fill with tears, blaming the onions and their cruel sulfenic acids when they finally betray me.
After a few deep breaths, I turn to face Y/N, who is sniffling, her hands trembling slightly.
“Y/N, don’t cry. Please.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just so sad. I’m so sorry.” She cries over my chest, and I run my hand over her hair, creating a soothing rhythm in the storm of emotions.
“I know. But I’m okay. I’m happy now.”
“You are?”
“Yes, because of you.”
Her sniffles dissolve into giggles, a beautiful mix of laughter and tears, and she never ceases to amaze me with her resilience.
“I love you, Y/N.” The words burn in my throat, raw and true, echoing in the empty spaces of my heart.
She lifts her head, staring at me through her wet eyelashes, and I know she can feel how my heart pounds beneath her. I’m overwhelmed by emotions, but I’ve never spoken truer words. After a moment, Y/N’s hand reaches behind my neck, and her lips collide with mine in a passionate kiss, her tears mingling with mine.
“And I love you…” she breathes in between kisses, her voice trembling with sincerity. “So… so… so much.”
We fall asleep like that, her warm body over my chest, the world fading away. I feel a profound relief, a weight lifting as she gets to know me in ways no one ever has. And even though shadows of uncertainty linger about our future, I realize I don’t have to solve everything right now. Like Y/N said, I would savor my time—my time with her, my time in school. As long as she was by my side, nothing else mattered. I was doing what I loved, and the person I loved was right there with me. It couldn’t possibly get any better than this.
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© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.
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sluttywonwoo · 2 years ago
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aemulus. (noun) latin for rival or competitor. thought to be the origin of the name emily.
park seonghwa is in no position to ask you for a favor. but being underqualified for something has never stopped him before.
pairing: academic rival!seonghwa x fem!reader
details: grad school/nursing school au, fake dating
word count: 8.1k
warnings: swearing, food allergy, smut (18+ mdni), oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, discussion of birth control methods
a/n: for @sluttywoozi's birthday <3 (just a month and a half late)
playlist
“I need a favor.”
“From me?”
Seonghwa tongues his cheek and looks around. “Is there anyone else in the room?”
You scoff. You aren’t friends with Park Seonghwa. You don’t even particularly like Park Seonghwa. You know the feeling’s mutual so why was he asking you for a favor?
“If you want something from me you should try being a little nicer,” you mutter, turning your attention back to the textbook on the desk in front of you. 
You hear Seonghwa sigh beside you before he tries again. “Sorry, yes, I need a favor from you. I need a date to this event Dr. Harvey is hosting for all of his graduate mentees next weekend.”
Date? You? Your face must be scrunched up into an expression of confusion and concern because Seonghwa puts his hand out to stop you before you interject. 
“Yes, it has to be you. I-I’m trying to secure a position on his research team next semester and I need an extra edge.”
You raise an eyebrow. “And I’m the extra edge?”
“Exactly! Dr. Harvey loves you. If I show up with you on my arm, the spot is mine for sure.”
“You really think it’ll be that easy? I haven’t taken one of Dr. Harvey’s classes since undergrad.”
You’re not even a student in Seonghwa’s program, the one Dr. Harvey was the head of. There just happened to be some overlap between your field of study and his that required you to take some of the same courses. 
“But you were his TA last semester, and you’re the top student in the department, after me-” you have to fight the urge to roll your eyes, “he brings you up in almost every meeting we have,” he continues, sounding more than a little annoyed, “when we’re supposed to be talking about my dissertation.”
Despite the non-case Seonghwa was making on his behalf, you couldn’t help but feel a little curious. “He does? What does he say?’
“Usually, it’s little comments about how you would do something differently, which is not-so-subtle code for better. If you ever decide to write a dissertation on microbiology, let him know. I’m sure he’d love to be your mentor-” Seonghwa stops himself there, taking a deep breath as if to physically shake the bitterness from his demeanor. “Sorry. The point is that he thinks very highly of you and it would really help me out if you were my plus-one to this thing.”
“And what exactly does ‘this thing’ entail?”
“It’s a little appreciation banquet for all of the students he’s mentoring. He said it’s at this hotel, I think it’s downtown, and it’s a dinner and drinks in the evening and a brunch the next morning-”
“Wait, it’s overnight?” You hadn’t meant or intended to interrupt him but the prospect of spending the night in the same room with Park Seonghwa was enough to make you panic and forget your manners. 
Seonghwa looks annoyed that you cut him off but holds himself back from responding with something snippy. Instead, he lets it go. Unheard of for him.
“Yes, but it’s just one night.”
“One night?” He nods. “And I just have to show up with you?”
“Well, you’d pretend to be my girlfriend. ”
Right. That had sort of been implied when he asked but you were hoping that wasn’t the case. It honestly sounded like a nightmare, but the idea of having something to hold over Seonghwa’s head was tempting. 
Doing him the favor was one thing. The execution of said favor was another. Were you going to be able to put on a believable act as Seonghwa’s girlfriend? It certainly wasn’t going to come naturally to you... but you were friends with a bunch of theatre kids. You could pull it off. Probably. 
“Okay, well, what’s in it for me?” you ask.
He blinks, clearly caught off guard by your question like he hadn’t expected to get this far. 
“What do you want?”
Oh fuck. You scramble to think of something worthwhile that he could be of use for, coming up short in pretty much all aspects.
“My dad’s getting married in a couple of months. Our little duet can have an encore then.”
Seonghwa grins and offers his hand for you to shake. “Send me the details. Pleasure doing business.”
-
It isn’t until Seonghwa’s already left the classroom that he realizes he doesn’t even have your number. He’s known you for years now but has never had to contact you outside of the context of school. Never had reason to. He could turn around right now and go back and ask for your phone number. You’re still in there. 
He lets his pride get the better of him, and with a quiet groan, he shoves his hands in his pockets and keeps walking. He’ll just email you later to ask for it. 
-
You iron out the details over text, once Seonghwa finally gets your number. You had made fun of him in your reply email for forgetting to get it back when he begged you to come with him in the first place, which only reassured Seonghwa that he had made the right choice that day. It would’ve been way more embarrassing to have you say that to his face. 
He asks you to meet him at a cafe the day before the event so you can iron out your story together. You look nervous, he notes, so he tries to break the ice. 
“Thank you for agreeing to meet here. I would’ve had you over to my place, but my roommates are kind of obnoxious.”
“That’s okay. Thanks for the coffee.” You gesture with your cup, shaking the ice around before taking a tentative sip. 
“Least I could do, considering.”
You shrug. “You’re already repaying me by going to my dad’s wedding with me, but I’m not one to turn down free coffee.”
“Fair enough.” He clears his throat. “So, how’d we fall in love?”
-
Seonghwa picks you up at five pm on Saturday. He makes some comment about you looking nice that you don’t really believe he means, but you return the compliment anyway. He does look good. Annoyingly so. He had told you it was a formal event but you hadn’t expected him to show up in a fucking three-piece suit. 
His hair is slicked back on the side to show off his undercut, and wire-rimmed glasses sit on the bridge of his nose, the reflection of traffic lights and street lamps shining in the lenses. It’s a little intimidating to be on his arm for the night when he looks like that, not that you didn’t also dress for the occasion, he just... looks so sharp. 
“Do you have everything you need?” he asks as you climb into the passenger seat. “Pajamas? Toothbrush?”
“I think so.”
“If you forget something we can probably grab it at the kiosk they have in the lobby,” he assures you.
You groan. “Yeah, but we’ll have to pay a small fortune for it.”
“That’s the price of convenience.” He puts the car in drive and navigates out of your apartment complex’s parking lot onto the main road. “You can pick the music,” he offers after a moment of silence. 
“But you’re the one driving.”
“Is that a rule?”
“Yeah, the driver picks the music. Have you never heard of that before?”
He shakes his head but hums thoughtfully. “No, but I don’t mind. I’m not picky.”
“Shocking,” you mutter under your breath. 
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
You plug the aux into the lightning port on your phone and scroll through your playlist until you land on something you deem to be neutral enough to play in the background. You can feel Seonghwa watching you out of the corner of his eye but you willfully ignore it. 
“Do you remember the story?”
You nod. “We only got together officially a couple of months ago. You asked me out by waiting outside the door of one of my classes last semester-”
“Which class?”
“Um...” you frowned, trying to remember. 
“It was pharmacology.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“Just be sure to remember that.”
“I don’t think anyone is going to be interrogating us about our relationship,” you scoff. 
Seonghwa takes a deep breath. “You’re right, I’m sorry. This is just important to me and it needs to be believable. If anyone were to find out that I tried to pull this shit off just to get on Harvey’s good side... I don’t even know what would happen to me. Like, would I get expelled? I definitely wouldn’t get the position, I-”
“Woah,” you cut him off before he can spiral any further, “we... don’t have to do this. You can drop me off back at my apartment and pretend like it never happened. I won’t make you go to the wedding...”
“No, no I need you,” Seonghwa insists, panicked. “It just... didn’t occur to me how stupid this idea was until now.”
“If you think it’s a bad idea we shouldn’t do it,” you reason.
“It is a bad idea,” he agrees, “but I don’t know what else to do. Jung Wooyoung is vying for the same spot and he’s way more likable than me.”
“That’s not true, he’s just more of a kiss-ass.”
“Same thing. Either way, I already told them I was bringing a plus-one so I can’t show up without you.”
You nod, holding back from suggesting other alternatives. Seonghwa seemed resolute on going through with it and it wouldn’t do any good to try and convince him otherwise. He was like you in that way. Stubborn to a fault. Trying to “fix” the problem would only start an argument and that was the last thing you needed right now. So you let it go, and it only killed you on the inside a little bit. 
-
Seonghwa checks into your room as soon as you get to the hotel. Since it’s late in the afternoon, it’s already ready, and you go up to drop off your things before navigating to the ballroom together. 
You try to ignore the single king-size bed in the middle of the room but it’s like it’s glaring right at you, taunting you in the reflection of the vanity mirror as you reapply your lipgloss. If Seonghwa notices your apprehension about it he doesn’t say anything. 
“We don’t have to go over the top,” Seonghwa reminds you in the elevator. “You don’t have to kiss me or be super touchy if you don’t want to. Some hand holding and familiarity should do it.”
“Are you sure?” 
He smirks at you. “I mean, if you want to kiss me, you’re more than welcome to. But it wasn’t part of our agreement.”
You stare at him. He had never said anything like that to you before. It felt like it had come out of nowhere. The smirk falls when he sees your reaction and he side steps away from you, clearing his throat awkwardly. 
“Sorry, I was, uh, I was kidding. It was, I wasn’t-”
The elevator dings to signal its arrival on the first floor before Seonghwa can finish whatever excuse he was stuttering through. He motions for you to exit first, putting his arm in front of the door to keep it from closing. When you turn back to look at him, he’s all calm and collected again like nothing even happened. The only evidence of ruffled feathers was the pressed set of his lips and the pink tinge of his cheeks. 
“Ready?” he asks, straightening his tie. 
“As I’ll ever be.”
He offers his hand to you and you take it, entwining your fingers with his. His thumb finds the back of your hand and draws absentminded circles. You’re not sure if it’s supposed to be comforting but it is. 
There are already a few people mingling when you and Seonghwa make it to the ballroom. You don’t recognize any of them but that was to be expected. Seonghwa had said that it was an intimate event, just Dr. Harvey, his mentees, and their potential plus-ones. Not everyone is here yet from what you can tell. You can’t hear Jung Wooyoung’s loud voice echoing throughout the hall so you figure he must be one of the late ones. 
The way the room is decorated reminds you a bit of Christmas with the opulent chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and the ivy garlands laid across the tables. All that's missing are the trees wrapped in lights and potted poinsettias in every corner.
Dr. Harvey is in the middle of a conversation with a couple of other students when he spots the two of you. He excuses himself and approaches you with a smile. 
“I’m glad that you both could make it!” he says, greeting you with a hug. 
He hugs your fake boyfriend next and claps him firmly on the back. Seonghwa coughs at the unexpected hit but plays it off easily with a chuckle. 
“When Park told me he was bringing you, I thought he was kidding. I couldn’t believe he finally got the guts to ask you out.”
Seonghwa stiffens next to you but keeps the smile plastered on his face. You, on the other hand, can’t mask your surprise. 
“What do you mean?” you press. 
“Oh, just that I sort of wondered if you kids would get together,” he explains. “You used to argue in my class all the time as undergraduates, but whenever we had group activities you would pair up anyway.”
“That’s because we didn’t trust anyone else with the work,” Seonghwa points out. 
You squeeze his hand urgently, trying to tell him to shut the fuck up before he ruins his chances with his big mouth. Thankfully, he seems to get the message and relaxes a little but you can tell he still wants to protest.   
“You didn’t even trust each other with the work,” the professor corrects. “You would bicker about every little thing under your breath when you thought I couldn’t hear even though you always sat in the front of the classroom.”
“I guess we are a little competitive,” you admit with a grin, looking up at Seonghwa with what you hope comes across as affection. 
“That’s an understatement, my love,” he agrees.
“Well, it’s nice to see that you’ve been able to turn that energy into something positive,” Dr. Harvey says. “What changed?”
“Well, we’d been seeing each other for a while and finally decided to make it official,” Seonghwa muses. 
And by ‘seeing each other’ he meant fucking. When you decided on your story that day in the cafe, Seonghwa had said it would make the most sense if your fake relationship budded from a friends-with-benefits thing- or acquaintances with benefits, whatever the two of you were. But of course, you couldn’t tell your professor that so you had to more so imply it by talking around the subject.
“Well, I hope that you being together means I’ll get to see more of your face. Park, you need to bring your girlfriend around the department some time. I’m sure the other faculty miss you too.”
Seonghwa nods. “I’ll be sure to do that, sir.”
“Great! I think some more people are starting to trickle in so I should go say hello, but please help yourselves to drinks while we wait for dinner.”
You both thank him and wait before saying anything else to each other. 
“I think that went okay,” Seonghwa sighs.
“Could’ve been worse,” you agree. 
He takes a quick look around before turning back to you. “Do you want something to drink, baby?”
“God, yes.”
At the bar, Seonghwa orders you both a glass of wine. It’s an open bar but there’s a little fish bowl for tips balanced on the edge of the counter so he deposits a couple of bills in it as he thanks the bartender.
He holds one of the glasses out to you with a half-smile. “Cheers.”
“To getting through the night,” you propose. 
“To getting through the night.”
-
Dinner is a choice between a chicken pasta dish, a beef and potatoes dish, and ratatouille that could be made vegan upon request. 
“Does the pesto have pine nuts in it?” Seonghwa asks the server when he reaches your end of the table.
“No, all of our options tonight are nut-free,” he replies. 
“Perfect, thank you. Did you want the pasta, then, baby?” 
“I- yes please.”
“And I’ll get the beef and we can share.”
“Sounds good,” the server says as he jots down your orders on his little notepad. 
You wait until he moves on to the next guest before leaning over to your date and whispering “I can’t believe you remembered.”
“Hm?”
“You remembered... I’m allergic to tree nuts.”
He shrugs like it’s no big deal and murmurs, “you almost dying in the middle of chem lab our freshman year is pretty hard to forget.”
He had a point. Still, you were surprised he remembered the girl that collapsed to the floor and had to be stabbed in the thigh with an EpiPen all those years ago as you. You’re not sure if you’d remember the details so clearly if it were the other way around. 
All of the dishes were pre-prepared by the hotel’s event catering staff so they were served almost immediately after the orders were taken. 
Dr. Harvey led the conversation, engaging each of his students about their studies and personal lives. He was even sure to include the plus ones at the table, making an effort to get to know them as well. That was why Dr. Harvey had been one of your favorite professors, why you’d agreed to TA for him when he asked. He genuinely cared about his students, wanted them to succeed and was willing to go the extra mile to help them do so. You still remember crying in his office over a failed lab report, remember how he had patiently walked you through what you’d done wrong until it finally clicked for you, how he ended up giving you half of the credit you missed back just for following up and showing how dedicated you were to learning the material.
Even now as he listens to his mentees talk about everything under the sun, he doesn’t want anyone to feel left out. 
A hand on your thigh startles you out of your zoning out. You had been trying your best to pay attention but it’s just so hard to stay attentive when Wooyoung opens his mouth. He’s been talking about algae for what you estimate to be the past twelve minutes- so in your defense, you never stood a chance anyway.
“Do you want another glass of wine?” Seonghwa asks, low enough for only you to hear.
You hadn’t even realized you’d finished your first one. It had probably happened sometime in the middle of Wooyung’s rambling. 
“Yes please.”
“Okay, be right back.”
He stands from the table and takes both yours and his empty glasses in one hand, using the other to push his chair back in. Thankfully, he’s back before you can be cornered by the others at the table. You can feel it, the curiosity your presence invokes from your peers. You only recognize a few of them but all of the sideways glances make you wonder how many of them suspect why you’re really here. Maybe you’re being paranoid. Maybe they’re just surprised Seonghwa managed to pull anyone at all... no, that couldn’t be it. He’s too hot, his personality alone wouldn’t be enough to deter anyone from going out with him. 
“What’s wrong?”
You take a sip from your newly refilled glass of wine and try to play it off. “Hm? What do you mean?”
“You’re making a face.”
“What face? This is just my face.”
“No, you’ve got that wrinkle in between your eyebrows. You’re worrying about something. What is it?”
You sigh and lean over to whisper in his ear. “I feel like your... friends think it’s weird that I’m here.”
“These people aren’t my friends.”
“I know. I didn’t know what else to call them- is that really the part of what I said that you think is important?”
“Why do you think they think it’s weird?”
“I don’t know, I just keep noticing everyone looking at me.”
“It’s probably because you’re pretty,” he suggests, which makes you want to change the subject entirely. 
He thinks you’re pretty? Does he think you’re pretty or does he think other people think you’re pretty? What would possess him to say something like that?
“That- no, it’s not that.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because I know what a dirty look is and I’ve been getting a lot of them. Do you think they’re onto us?”
Seonghwa makes a displeased sound in the back of his throat. “I don’t know. Maybe I underestimated the number of people applying for the same position as me.”
“Maybe, and maybe they know we haven’t always gotten along and are suspicious of why this is the first they’re hearing of us dating.”
“I guess we need to turn it up, then,” Seonghwa muses under his breath. 
“Wha- that’s not what I-”
-
After dinner, there’s a bit of mingling. You get the opportunity to formally introduce yourself to the guests you’ve never met before and answer the burning question on everyone’s mind as to why you’re there in the first place. 
Seonghwa’s hand is warm on the small of your back, making you wish you had decided against wearing a backless dress. Although, you suspect you still would have been able to feel the heat of his palm through the silk had it offered more coverage. 
“Didn’t think you had it in you, Park,” Hongjoong, you thought his name was, says as he wraps an arm around his own date. In her heels, she’s taller than him by an inch or so, and somehow it only makes the man more intimidating. “Thought you were too busy for dating, or was that just an excuse?”
“I am busy. But when you meet the right person, you make time. You of all people should know that.”
Hongjoong narrows his eyes almost imperceptibly and grins. “You’re right, we’re all fools for love, aren’t we?”
“It certainly seems that way.”
Seonghwa and Hongjoong continue exchanging semi-polite small talk until the latter’s date tugs him away, mumbling something about needing another drink. 
“I didn’t realize you were so popular,” you say under your breath once the two are out of earshot.
“Yeah, you’re not the only one who hates me,” he mutters. 
“And here I thought we had something special.”
Seonghwa gives you a half-smile. “Sorry to break it to you like this.”
“For what it’s worth, I don’t hate you,” you clarify, voice lowered. 
He can’t hide his surprise as his eyes widen. “Wait, really?”
You nod. “I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”
He straightens up a bit, stiffening, and you wonder if you’ve said something wrong. “Good to know.”
You each have another drink before the night ends. Champagne is served with dessert and Dr. Harvey proposes a toast to all of his students once everyone’s gathered around the table again. 
You clink your glass to Seonghwa’s and take a sip. The bubbles soothe your throat, making the lies you’ve been telling all night easier to swallow. 
You’re not drunk, you haven’t had that much to drink, but the alcohol is definitely making you feel lighter. People have started filtering out of the ballroom to go to their rooms but a few linger a little longer, taking advantage of the free booze and relaxed atmosphere. Your professor flits between the remaining students, continuing conversations that had been cut short during or before dinner. 
Soft music is playing over the speakers and a few couples are dancing to it. Seonghwa hadn’t said anything about dancing, it probably wasn’t on the actual itinerary, but he draws you out to the floor without warning. You want to protest but his hands are already on your hips and your chest is already pressed to his. You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to him, save bumping into each other in labs and accidentally spilling samples down your coats. Based on the number of times that had happened, you don’t expect Seonghwa to be particularly graceful. But he seems intent on proving you wrong as he leads you to the rhythm. 
“I didn’t know you could dance,” you murmur. 
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he quips back. 
You quirk an eyebrow. “Yeah? Like what?” 
He seems to think about it for a moment before answering. “I love Star Wars.”
“I already knew that.”
“What?”
“You used to bring a Darth Vader thermos to class. The lid was his helmet.”
“Legos?”
“Lego guy keychain.”
“Animal Crossing?”
“You’d literally play it in class.”
Seonghwa smirks. “Wow.”
“What?”
“I just didn’t realize you were obsessed with me.”
“Wha- I’m not obsessed with you!” you sputter. “I’m just very observant! And you make your interests too obvious.”
“Sure, whatever you say,” he teases, making you roll your eyes. 
He spins you before you get the chance to argue again, extending his arm all the way and then whipping it back so that you’re stumbling into his embrace. 
“My turn, then?” he asks. 
You feel your face scrunch up in confusion before you can stop it. “What do you mean?”
“Your favorite color is pink,” he whispers, as if it’s some kind of secret. “You love The Lord of the Rings. You quote it all the time. You like to cook. You always brought your leftovers for lunch and everyone would ask how you made whatever it was because it smelled so good.”
You’re staring at him now, lips slightly parted in surprise. His gaze flickers down to them and then back up. He smiles. 
“You’re not the only observant one.”
A song is still playing but you’ve stopped dancing. It’s like you’re standing in the eye of a storm, surrounded by music and conversation that blurs and distorts around you. It all sounds muffled, but that might just be the ringing in your ears. You realize what’s about to happen a moment before it does but you’re still unprepared when Seonghwa kisses you. 
His lips are softer than you expected, not that you’ve imagined kissing him before... not that you ever wondered. His arms are still around your waist and he pulls you in closer, deepening the kiss. 
You’re stiff at first, unsure of what to do with your arms or your own lips, but you relax when you feel his tongue swipe at your bottom lip. He makes a contented sort of sound in the back of his throat when you open your mouth for him. It’s just slightly, just enough for him to get a taste, but he seems pleased nonetheless. 
Distant cheering in the background startles the both of you out of your daze, pops the little bubble you’d somehow found yourselves in. It’s then that you remember that you’re in public, and that you probably shouldn’t be sucking each other's faces off in the middle of this very nice ballroom in front of your peers. 
You part, both a little breathless. 
“I hope that was okay,” Seonghwa whispers against your cheek. 
“It was, yeah. It was okay. More than okay.”
“Good. I’m glad.” He grins, the upturn of his cheeks pushing his specs higher on his nose, making glimmers of light from the chandelier dance in the reflection of the glass like stars falling from the sky. One of his hands strays from your waist to take your own.  “Wanna get out of here?”
You’re nodding before your brain can fully process the question. “Yes please.” 
-
The journey back up to your room is a blur. You vaguely register bidding Hongjoong, Dr. Harvey, and a couple of other people whose names had long since slipped your mind goodnight. You’re not sure what you said, Seonghwa probably took the lead. 
Your cheeks are warm with embarrassment as you make your way out of the hall hand in hand. You feel like everyone knows what you’re about to do. And with a kiss like that in a crowded room, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out.
But did it really matter if they knew you were about to get your back blown out? It would only help sell the story to them even more. At least, that’s what you’re telling yourself, still not ready to admit that you’re not playing pretend anymore. 
The clicking of your heels on the marble sounds entirely too loud as you walk through the lobby to the elevator bay. The lights have been dimmed for the night, emulating the darkness outside. Only a few employees remain behind the desks, stationed for any late check-ins. The rest had surely clocked out hours ago when the rush ended.
“Do you have a key?” Seonghwa asks you, eyeing the purse you’d somehow remembered to grab on your way out. 
You did, but, “there’s one in your pocket.”
His hand comes to the front of his pants, feeling for the plastic card. “Right. Sorry.”
He uses the key to activate the elevator and then he uses it again to open the door to your room. The ride up had been silent, and a little awkward, both of you standing on opposite sides of the tiny room, avoiding eye contact.  
You wonder if the energy has shifted, if the moment has passed. Had he suddenly come to his senses? Was he already regretting kissing you? 
You don’t get the chance to ask either of these things, however, because he’s kissing you again as soon as you stumble into the room. It’s dark, so everything is a little uncoordinated, but it almost seems fitting for you and Seonghwa. 
He presses you up against the door, fingers fumbling with the ties on the back of your dress. It’s hard for him to undo them when he can’t see what he’s doing, too occupied with kissing his way down your neck. 
“Fuck this,” he gasps, breaking away. “Lift up your arms.”
You do, gasping as Seonghwa tugs the silk up and over your head. It’s the kind of dress you can’t wear a bra with so you’re left completely bare from the waist up. 
“Fuck me,” he breathes, running his hands over your body. 
“I’m trying.”
A beat lapses before Seonghwa lets out a quiet chuckle. You’re the one to pull him back this time, tugging at his suit jacket as you kiss him in an attempt to get it off his shoulders. 
“Let me, um,” he mumbles against your lips, feeling along the wall of the little hallway you’re standing in for something. “Let me turn on a lamp or something. I want to see you.”
The comment makes you feel shy but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to see him too so you let him go and only laugh a little bit when he trips over his suitcase on the way over to the desk.
“Oh, would you rather have it off?” he asks, noticing the way you’re holding your arms over your chest. 
“No, no, I want to see you too,” you assure him. “I just feel kind of weird being the only one naked.”
“Well that’s an easy fix.”
He makes his way back over to you, loosening his tie as he does. He leaves it hanging around his neck so that you can take it off for him. The satin feels heavy in your hands and you wonder briefly how it would feel tied around your wrists- another time, maybe. 
Seonghwa focuses on unbuttoning his shirt while you lift the tie over his head, hands brushing together as you work in tandem. 
You reach for his belt but he ducks out of your grasp with a grin, shrugging off the button up as he sinks down onto his knees in front of you. You barely register the feeling of his hands on your thighs. You’re too caught up with the way he’s looking up at you. He’s taken his glasses off, though you don’t know when- or where he’s put them for that matter, and is gazing up at you like painted the cosmos themselves. Like he fully intends on worshiping you. 
Park Seonghwa on his knees. What a sight. 
“Can I?” he asks, fingers gently wedging themselves in between your legs to part them. “Please?”
You nod. 
“I need you to say it.”
“You can,” you whisper. 
“I can... what?” Seonghwa presses. “I haven’t even said what it is I want to do to you.”
He’s taunting you now. It’s obvious what he meant when he asked you but he just loves pushing your buttons too much to stop, even when he’s on the verge of begging to taste your pussy. 
“You can do whatever you want to me,” you breathe. 
“Fuck.”
You nearly lose your balance as Seonghwa lifts one of your legs over his shoulder but he plants both of his hands on your ass and pulls you onto his face before that can happen. He groans at the first taste of you, even though it’s over your panties. You’re not sure whether he meant to leave them on to be even more of a tease or if he had just simply forgotten to take them off in the rush to get you on his tongue. 
They’re the seamless kind, the kind that aren’t supposed to show through thin material. You’d chosen to wear them with your dress instead of suffering through the discomfort of a thong all night. The comfort was a benefit. The sheerness was a drawback. You might as well not be wearing anything with how form fitting they were, especially considering how wet you already are.
Your hands are in Seonghwa’s hair and you’re trying not to pull too hard but you have to anchor yourself to something or you’re afraid your knees will buckle. 
“That’s it,” he praises, nose nudging your clit as he licks into you. It’s muffled but you can still make it out, if just barely. “Harder, baby.”
“Are you s-sure?”
He nods and the motion makes you want to cry out. “I won’t break. Promise.”
You decide to trust his word and tug a little harder. He moans and rewards you by pushing his tongue inside of you. He can only go so far with the fabric of your underwear restricting him but it’s enough to get you to whimper his name. 
-
God, you sound so pretty, it’s almost too much for Seonghwa to handle. You taste just as good as he’d always imagined, better even, and he’s losing all sense of control because of it. He can tell he’s making you feel good but this won’t be enough to get you to cum, at least, not as hard as he wants you to before he fucks you... if that’s where the night ends up going. He would be more than happy to have you cum on his tongue, kiss you goodnight, and then fall asleep beside you if that’s what you wanted.   
He manages to get your panties out of the way and to the side with his teeth before diving back in and sucking your clit into his mouth. You make a little surprised sound and melt into him even more. 
He wants to get his fingers inside of you too, but it would be difficult with the way the two of you are positioned so he pulls back and jerks his head in the direction of the bed. You help him to his feet and pull him in for a kiss, moaning at the way you taste on his lips. 
Seonghwa didn’t think it was possible for him to get any harder than he already is but you’re always going and proving him wrong. 
You release him after another moment and fall back onto the mattress, calling to him like a siren. You don’t actually say anything, but you don’t have to. The sight of you on the bed you’ll share with your legs spread and your thighs still glistening with your arousal and his saliva is all it’d take for Seonghwa to throw himself into the sea and drown in you. 
He takes off his slacks finally, just to give himself a bit of relief, and joins you on the bed as fast as humanly possible.
“Can I take these off?” he asks, running his fingers over the soaked patch of your underwear. 
“Please,” you laugh. 
You lift your hips so that he can pull them off of you and then he’s back in between your legs with your thighs clamped around his head so tightly he can’t hear anything aside from your desperate pleas for him not to stop. 
He doesn’t even realize he’s been grinding into the mattress until you’re cumming on his tongue and it takes everything in him to hold back from falling over the edge with you. 
“Hwa...” 
Your voice is so distant he doesn’t hear it until you repeat it. The nickname makes his heart do a little somersault. You’ve never called him that before. It makes him want to smile like an idiot and not fight so hard to suppress those pesky feelings he’s been harboring for you for God knows how long. He wants to kiss you all over and make love to you and give you a little house on his Animal Crossing island even though he’d have to rearrange the entire layout. He actually brought his switch with him, it’s in his bag and he could go get it right now and-
“Hwa!”
Fuck. Right. He pushes the aforementioned feelings down again, clears his throat, and plays it cool. “Hm? What’s up?” His voice cracks on the ‘up’ because of course it does. So much for playing it cool. 
“Can you fuck me, please?” 
He feels like he could fall through the floor. How the fuck could you sound so polite asking to get your back blown out like that? His dick twitches against his thigh and Seonghwa has to take a deep breath to steel himself before answering. 
“You sure you want to keep going? You want this?”
“God, yes,” you whine, leaning forward to try and pull him on top of you. “Are you going to make me beg for it?”
Tempting, but, “no, it’s just... I have to tell you something.”
Jesus, was he really doing this now? It felt like the worst possible moment to bring it up but he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he slept with you without coming clean. He’d already gone further than he probably should have, judgment clouded by lust and alcohol and the lingering scent of your perfume on your neck. 
You face falls, making Seonghwa realize he definitely should have worded it differently. 
“It’s not anything bad! I don’t think...”
“Just tell me,” you say flatly. 
“Um, remember in the car earlier today when we were going through our story, and you couldn’t remember what class I asked you out after?”
“And you yelled at me about it?”
“I didn’t yell at you-” he pauses, and squeezes his eyes shut. This was why he kept going back and forth over what he was about to say, why he was hesitating even now. “I reacted the way I did because... I actually was going to ask you out that night after your pharmacology class got out.”
“What?”
“I was there, waiting outside and I-I chickened out.”
You blink in disbelief. “You don’t... hate me?”
“Hate you? I never hated you!” You give him a look. “There was a bit of... animosity between us, but it was never hate! At least, not for me! Did you hate me?”
It’s your turn to feel exposed. That’s what Seonghwa thinks you feel anyway, from the look on your face. 
“No... I already told you I didn't! It was... what you described.”
Seonghwa narrows his eyes at you. “I don’t believe you.”
“I mean, like you said, it wasn’t hate. I just didn’t particularly like you. And I thought that was a mutual thing.”
“It was!” he agrees quickly. A little too quickly, maybe. “It was. For a while. And then it wasn’t. But I never said anything about it because I kept thinking it was just a phase I was going through. I thought I’d get over it and you’d never have to know.”
“But that never happened?” He shakes his head. “But you built up the courage to show up and ask me out that day. You had to have accepted it then.”
He sighs and rolls onto his back. “I guess I did, but like I said, I was a coward. When I peeked through the window on the door, I saw you laughing and joking around with your friends and I just thought about how it’s never been like that with us. And I thought it’d never work out because we’re... us. We bicker all of the time. We’re always competing. That didn’t magically go away when I realized I had feelings for you. So I thought you deserved someone who you’d actually get along with.” 
“Well, that should have been up to me to decide,” you say. 
“I know,” Seonghwa admits with a groan. Then, he bolts upright. “Wait, would you have said yes?”
“Probably.”
“What do you mean probably?”
“I mean, I would’ve liked to see where it went. I’ve always thought you were attractive.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s one of the things about you that annoyed me.” Seonghwa scoffs. “Just being honest.”
“Well, if I’m being honest,” he counters, propping himself up on his elbow. “I kind of like it when we bicker.”
“Don’t tell me it turns you on.”
“Only sometimes.”
You roll your eyes at him. “You’re sick.”
He shrugs. “It’s only because you’re so hot when you’re mad at me.”
“You must be really horny right now, then,” you mutter. 
“You’re mad at me?” 
“Yes, I’m mad at you! You’ve been keeping your little crush on me a secret all this time! And you chose now to tell me?”
“I know, I’m sorry. I have the worst timing.”
“Understatement of the year.”
Seonghwa figures he deserves that one so he lets it slide even though it chips at his pride. “Wait, so... what does that make us? If we feel the same way, shouldn’t we give it a real shot?”
You groan, putting your hands over your face. “Can we talk about it after you fuck me stupid? I’m still so wet I can’t think about anything else.”
“Oh yeah, right.” He sits up and rolls back on top of you, caging you in. He presses his thigh between your legs so that you can grind on it as he kisses you again. “Are you sure arguing with me doesn’t make you horny?” he teases. “Can feel you throbbing against me, baby.”
“I’m horny because you’re hot and your dick is hard.” 
And because you like him, Seonghwa thinks giddily. 
“We can talk about it later, then,” he surrenders, reaching down to pump himself a few times. “As long as you’ll say you’re mine.”
You tilt your head to the side as you process his request. “Yours?”
“Mine.”
“You want me to be yours?”
“If that’s something you want.”
“It is something I want.”
“Then say it.”
“I’m yours.”
“Fuck,” Seonghwa hisses, grinding against you. He’s not even inside of you yet and he feels like he could explode.
“Please, Hwa,” you whisper and reach down to line him up yourself.
“Wait fuck, I don’t have a condom.”
“I have an IUD. It’s okay,” you assure him.
“Are you sure?”
“As long as you’re clean.”
“I am, I haven’t been with anyone since last year, and I’ve been tested.”
“Me too.”
“Then we’re good?” he asks. 
“We’re good.”
“Perfect. Deep breath, baby.”
Seonghwa’s arms threaten to give out the instant he begins to push himself inside of you. He should have been the one to take a deep breath. He already knows how you taste so he really should have been more prepared for how good you would feel but then again Seonghwa had always been a bit Icarian in nature so his overly ambitious attitude is pretty par for the course in light of everything. 
“Hold on, just... just give me a second,” he stutters.
He swears you clench around him purposefully, playing it off with a meek “sorry, it was an accident” when he glares at you. He wouldn’t put it past you to turn this into a competition too, but he wants to remember your first time together as something special. He wants to be in the moment with you, wants to make you cum over and over and over on his cock until you can’t say anything but his name. He wants to make tonight all about you. He wants to make every night about you, but he’ll have to start with tonight. 
“Are you okay?” you ask him, voice so sweet he almost has to pull out so he doesn’t end what’s barely started. 
“You feel too good,” he admits, dropping his head into the crook of your shoulder. 
“If you cum now, we can just go again, right?”
Right. He forgot about that. He needs to stop thinking with his dick. 
“Yeah, right. Right.”
“Fucked out already?” you tease, brushing his hair out of his eyes. 
“It’s you,” he pants weakly. “How can I not be?”
You open your mouth, probably about to say something smart in reply but he rolls his hips just as you do, pushing himself deeper inside of you. The words seem to dissolve on your tongue, your mouth falling open in a moan instead.
“What was that, baby?” he asks, moving even faster now.
You answer in mumbled nonsense. Seonghwa smirks down at you and leans forward to kiss the point where your neck meets your collarbone. He thinks about what a hickey would look like there, what kind of attention it would draw from everyone tomorrow morning. 
He can’t dwell on it for too long, though, because you’re yanking him back up by his hair, warning him that you’re about to cum.
“Already?”
“It’s you,” you repeat his own words back to him, and he feels his own stomach tense up in anticipation. “You and your perfect dick.”
Okay, so, less romantic than his sentiment but the structure was still there. It made him feel warm inside nonetheless. 
“Can I cum, please? Please?”
“Do you think you can be quiet? We don’t want a noise complaint, remember?” 
“I c-can be quiet.”
You’re lying through your teeth and Seonghwa can tell, he’s known you for so long now that he;’s memorized all of your tells. But he’s right there on the edge too and he wants nothing more than to cum with you.
“I’m close too, baby. Shit, can I cum inside you? Please?”
“God, yes- please, give it to me...”
He kisses you as he cums, managing to swallow some of your moans and cries of his name as you cum even harder than you did the first time. He’s sensitive by the time you finally come down from it but he doesn’t pull out. 
“Can we lay like this for a second?”
You nod easily, letting out a soft laugh when Seonghwa drops his weight on top of you. “I don’t think I can move anyway.”
“Not with that attitude, you can’t.”
“Oh my god, get off of me.”
“Sorry, what was that? Couldn’t hear you.”
“You’re the worst!”
“The worst at what?”
“Everything!”
“You didn’t seem to think that a few minutes ago,” he points out. 
“I’m having post-nut clarity,” you mumble, pushing weakly at his shoulders. 
“I didn’t know that happened to girls,” he muses. 
“There’s a lot you don’t know about women,” you snap, still struggling underneath him. “Maybe if you talked to one once and a while you’d be more knowledgeable on the subject.” 
“I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”
“That’s because I- are you getting hard again?” you ask in disbelief. 
“I told you that bickering with you turns me on!”
“You are unbelievable!”
Seonghwa kisses you and rolls his hips experimentally. You moan, relaxing under him immediately. 
“Fuck, that feels good,” you sigh against his lips. 
“Yeah, we’re definitely going to be late to brunch tomorrow.”
happy birthday emily!! i'm so lucky to call you my bestie and i hope you enjoyed your very late present :)
2K notes · View notes
0nlythrowharrybeaux · 2 years ago
Text
A Good Fit**
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Brother's best friend trope! I'm really, really happy with this one! I was inspired by the picture above. I was also stoned when I started this so it’s very horny 🫠
Warnings: Cheating, female masturbation, age gap (7yrs), dirty talk, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, slight breeding kink, choking/breathplay, slight degradation, size kink.
WC: 8.3K
Unfortunately for Harry it wasn’t uncommon that you show up at his place after you’ve had a fight with your boyfriend. So when he heard the knocks on the door he knew it was you from the call you had made earlier from a random number and you asked him if he could send you an uber since your phone was dead. He hurried over and let you in. And as he took your appearance in you didn’t look sad you just looked angry.
“Hey, you alright?” He asked and you exhaled sharply and nodded.
“I am now. Just…needed to get out of there.” You said and he nodded.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“After? I just need to think for a bit. Do you mind if I shower and borrow something to sleep in?”
“Not at all, come on.” He said and guided you through his apartment, “F’you need anything else just shout for me.”
“Yeah, thank you Har.”
“Course.” He hummed before he shut the door to the bathroom and headed off to the kitchen to make some tea.
Harry knew your family because of your older brother. When he did an exchange program during his undergrad years Harry’s family was his host family and they quickly became friends. Then, Harry came to the states for grad school and to work so he was roommates with your brother for about 4 years, which is when you and your family met him. And well that leads to the present! At the end of your 3rd year of university you got offered a spot in a very lucrative and once-in-a-lifetime international cohort and internship opportunity for your final year, and that’s why you moved to London last July. The only reason your parents even allowed you to do this was because they knew someone in London now, that was Harry. He had just turned 30, like your brother, and well your parents knew that you guys got along and that he was a nice guy so they felt comfortable letting you go alone knowing that he was nearby. 
Harry was a really cool guy, but despite that you intended to steer as far away from his as possible because you didn’t need a babysitter. You were 23, soon to be 24! But when the homesickness started to hit you sought him out and he was always so welcoming and comforting and sweet. He knew this shop where they’d sell American treats, he’d take you there sometimes even though it was quite far away, since he had a car. And when you’d be sick or feeling under the weather he’d make you food and bring you medicine…he looked after you and soon you started to spend more time with him. He was actually the reason why you even started dating your boyfriend, Charlie. Charlie was 31, handsome, mature, had a great job…he was really romantic and detail oriented, he just did anything he could to make you happy and for a while things were really, really good. But over the last few months he has been so awful, picking fights for no reason, starting to get aggressive out of no where, flaking on you or just going unheard of for days at a time. The party tonight was a colleague’s birthday party and he had invited you to make up for a fight you’d had earlier in the week over some naked pictures he had recently saved of some girl on his phone. You had a feeling that he was cheating or that something big was off for a while so tonight, when you caught a glimpse of him slipping into a room with that girl from the pictures on his phone you just decided to leave.
You had just finished explaining this to Harry as you sat across from him at his kitchen island in his big, baggy t-shirt and a pair of striped briefs. You hadn’t even touched your tea as you ranted about how awful he had been all week.
“Date older! They said…they’re more mature…s’a bunch of BS.” You finished with a huff.
“Yeah, unfortunately older doesn’t necessarily mean wiser…” he said softly, “I’m sorry all that happened. You do deserve better.”
“I know I do, that’s why I’m not gonna cry about it.” 
“Well if you feel like crying you should.” He said and you smiled and shook your head.
“No, I don’t feel sad. That’s the weird thing, like I just feel…stupid I guess for not…snapping out of this sooner.” You explained, “Like…” you stoped to lick over your lips and snigger, “I’ve praised this guy up and down as if he fucking hung up the sun and moon and bragged about him to my parents and when they come for graduation in 2 weeks he’s not even gonna be around!” You sniggered with embarrassment, “God, I’m such a fucking mess.” You groaned as you covered your face with your palms and he huffed.
“Hey, none of that. You’re not stupid and you’re not a mess. You’re just…young.” He said with a little shrug and you pouted a bit.
“OK why do you say it in a condescending manner though?” You asked and he sighed.
“Y/N, I’m not. I’m just saying that…when you’re young you don’t…you just don’t have any foresight sometimes. Like your brain isn’t even fully developed yet!” He argued factually and you crossed your arms with a scoff.
“So you are saying I’m stupid.”
“No! God, stop putting words in my mouth!” He said back with a flustered laugh and you were not sure what was so amusing about this, you were getting upset at him now.
“I’m not! I’m just trying to figure out what it is you’re implying by telling me that I’m just young and have an underdeveloped brain!” You nearly shouted and he sighed.
“Keep it down, please. I have neighbors.” He warned and you looked at him expectantly and he tutted, “I’m just trying to say that you’re a little…naive.” He finished and you looked at him like he was insane.
“I’m not naive, Harry.” You said and he looked at you like you had grown another head, “I’m not naive!” You said louder.
“Raising your voice doesn’t make what you’re saying correct.” He said calmly and you were boiling over with rage. You knew he wasn’t being smug about it or anything but he clearly was about to school you if you kept pushing this argument. But you were also very certain that he had you all wrong. 
“Then stop calling me naive!”
“I don’t know why you think that’s such an awful thing, Y/N. You’re young, you’re supposed to be naive like…I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is that naïveté implies that someone is clueless! And I’m not clueless!”
“Not about everything, but there are just things that you do that…show your age.” Is all he said and you pouted.
“OK, like what?”
“Like you dating an older man because he’s gonna be “more mature”, like please, Y/N! Age really is just a number.” He stated with a dry and obvious tone and you scoffed at him, “Or like a few weeks ago when he asked you for money and you gave him, a grown ass man, your money and then had to ask me for rides because you couldn’t reload your tube pass!” He said.
“His car got towed and he lost his wallet!” You defended.
“What kind of mature, responsible man gets so fucking shit faced that he looses his car and his wallet?” Harry asked and you just bit the inside of your cheek as you glared at him, “And you found naked pictures on his phone a few days ago and didn’t end it then?” He questioned.
“Maybe I misinterpreted things or-”
“Or maybe you just turn a blind eye to logic and go against your better judgement because you’re too caught up in whatever illusion he’s weaved for you that you doubt your instincts. That proves that you are naive and imprudent and that, more than anything else, just shows how young you are.” He said. The way you were looking at him kind of blankly made him nervous, maybe he had taken this too far, but it just frustrated him that you chose these things for yourself when you were far more intelligent than that. You pushed reason aside for fun sometimes and it was getting you hurt, which was very imprudent of you, and he wanted that to stop. He wanted you to stop doing this to yourself.
“God, why couldn’t you have told me this sooner!” You groaned with irritation as you crumbled up the napkin he laid out for you and tossed it at his chest. He glanced down at where you hit him with the paper and then back to you with a relieved smile.
“I just…didn’t want to overstep. Like what you choose to do is not my business to meddle in you know. And I get that some people just…learn the hard way. Like when I was younger the last thing I wanted was for someone slightly older to try and give me advice or something when like…experiences will help you learn too and-”
“Jut because you were like that when you were young it doesn’t mean I am.” You interrupted him with a smug smile and he smiled as well.
“Yeah, I…can see that now.” He said softly and you bit your lip as he just looked in your eyes for a bit more. It was making you feel concerned and small under his scrutiny but then he just looked away and shook his head, “Well, I’m gonna get back to bed, but if you need anything just knock or intrude or whatever.” He said and you just nodded dumbly as he started to leave the kitchen. 
As soon as he left you shifted in your seat and then froze at the feeling of you completely drenched in his briefs. Yes, Harry was so nice to look at but you had always kind of seen him as like another older brother. Yeah, you’d had a saucy dream or two of him, but it’d never been more than that, it had never been whatever was suddenly going on in your panties. You shifted a bit in your seat and pressed your hips down and your bit your lip at the friction of the rounded edge of the high stool rubbing right against your slit. You wriggled around a bit to try and get some friction right on your clit and right when you found the position you couldn’t help the soft gasp that left your mouth as you started to hump against it a little harder. One of your hands was gripping the counter and then other the edge of the stool as you ground yourself against it a bit more, your eyes screwed shut as you focused on the feeling of the material of Harry’s briefs starting to stick to your pussy the more you humped against the stool. You started to grunt breathily as the pleasure inside of you started to build and blossom. Suddenly you felt two big hands on your hips, stopping your movements and you gasped in surprise.
“Imprudent.” Harry’s husky voice tickled at the shell of your ear, “See. You don’t have any foresight. You don’t think of the consequences of your actions.” He said and you swallowed thickly, “I mean, did you even stop to think that you’re in my flat? Humping your little pussy on my furniture?” He questioned and you shook your head, “Didn’t think so.” He said, “What’s got you so worked up anyway that you didn’t even have the decency to wait to get into bed?”
“I don’t know. After you left I w-was gonna put this in the sink and I…I was so wet.” You confessed. Mentally you were begging that he’d do something to you. Anything, you’d take anything. Harry smirked at your confession.
“A little degradation kink perhaps…” he said and your arms became covered in goosebumps, “Did you even know until now?” He asked and you shook your head.
“No. I didn’t even think that I would-”
“Get so wet while I insulted your intelligence?” He asked and you nodded and swallowed thickly. He didn’t ask, you just suddenly felt his hand release your hip only for him to  wedge it between your legs. You sighed in relief as he felt how soaked in your arousal the thin material of his briefs were, “Fuck.” He groaned, “If there’s anything good about being young it’s this.” He said as he rubbed your sticky mess into you, you were holding as still as possible, still in shock that this was happening, “Young pussy get’s so fucking wet.” He sighed as he nipped at your earlobe, you were covered in goosebumps, “It keeps getting wetter and wetter the more you play with it.” He hummed in amusement, “Should I keep playing with it?” He asked and you nodded quickly and he smirked, “Tell me then.” You huffed.
“Harry-”
“Don’t whine. Tell me you want me to touch and play with your pussy.” He breathed out and you whimpered, “Please, babygirl. I need to hear you say it, been dying to hear you say it for ages.” He breathed out hard against you.
“Please, touch my pussy. I need you to touch me.” You whimpered and he sighed in relief before turning you around hoisting you up onto the counter. His eyes met yours and the look in them was dark, his pupils were enlarged, and his breathing ragged.
“You’re sure about this?” He asked and you shook your head with a smile.
“No. Are you?” You whispered as his hands ran up and down your thighs and he smiled back.
“No. But I…want to. It’s just…your brother would kill me. Like I’m totally betraying his trust.” He said and you smiled.
“Yeah, he’d be pretty pissed. I like to piss him off though, it’s fun.” You said and bit your lip as he shook his head at your antics, “Don’t give me that, you’re the baby brother, you know how gratifying it is to get under your sibling’s skin.” You said.
“Yeah when I was a child.” He emphasized with a grin and you hummed.
“Then…do it for yourself. After all, you’ve been waiting to play with my pussy for ages, right?” You asked coyly and he chuckled nervously, “How long, hmm?” You asked softly as you draped your arms over his shoulders to minimize the space between you two. He let it diminish as he glanced up in your eyes, “How long, Harry?” You asked again, more pointedly this time and he sighed as his fingers dug into your thighs.
“At mine and your brother’s graduation party. I went inside to get more pool towels and when I passed by the laundry room I heard you and your boyfriend in there. You didn’t fully close the door and I…saw him, very briefly, fingering you.” He said as you smirked, “You sounded so pretty, I just wanted to get in there and make you feel a lot better. Knew I could’ve made you feel better than him.” He confessed and you smiled, you didn’t even remember that happening until he brought it up. You had just finished your first year of college then.
“Really think you could’ve done a better job?” You asked and he almost looked at you in offense.
“I know so. Also know that prick Charlie wouldn’t stand a chance against me.” He stated confidently and you smiled as you just took him in. He really was gorgeous, you’d talked yourself out of crushing on him a lot, especially when you were younger…but now with him so close to you…with his hand having been between your legs…with the very obvious bulge of his boner grazing your right inner thigh everything you had done to not have those feelings for him was completely ruined. You wanted him, you wanted him so fucking bad.
“Show me then.” You said and he looked over your eyes again, “I know we probably shouldn’t but I need it. I need you so badly.” You said softly and he hummed in contemplation. He wanted this too, so badly…his cock was so hard for you. He wanted to show you what he could do; he wanted you to think about it and him between your legs and to get drenched like you were now every time the memory resurfaced, which he would make sure was a lot. This was his one and only chance…
“Just this once.” He decided and you nodded.
“Yeah, just once.”
“Here or in my bedroom?” He asked and you nodded.
“The room if that’s OK. I’ll even go to the guest bedroom after, I promise.” You said and he didn’t wait another moment before he pulled your face in and kissed you. It was sloppy and needy and so fucking desperate that it was making your body even more aroused for him. You loved how big his hands felt on you. You knew he was strong and he could do anything he wanted to you and something about that gave you relief. 
“Hold on tight.” He muttered before picking you up and carrying you the short distance to his bedroom. He kicked the door shut once he made it through the threshold and carefully dropped you onto his bed. You almost moaned just from feeling the bed beneath you, it was so big and soft and cuddly. You never wanted to get up! “Get naked.” He said and you sat up in the dark and tore off his shirt and his briefs, you then hugged your legs to your chest to cover yourself a bit as you waited for him. You could barely make him out standing at the side of the bed, suddenly the side lamp flicked on, “I need to see, want to remember you.” He said as he turned to you again, “Show me your body.” He said softly and you slowly let go and then laid down on his bed. His eyes took in your face, your chest, your stomach, your hips, your labia… but he wanted more, “Open your legs f’me, spread them. Show me your little pussy.” He instructed and you nervously started to part your legs as he started to kneel. He wanted to be face level with your pussy, “Fuck, look at you. Such a pretty little thing.” He huffed and your skin rose with goosebumps, “Can already see you dripping.” He chuckled breathily.
“M’so wet for you, Harry.” You whispered and he hummed.
“I know, babygirl. Show it all to me, hold yourself open for me.” He said as he glanced up into your eyes and you felt your fingers tense, you were feeling nervous and timid, “Go on, babygirl. You can’t be shy about this if you weren’t shy about humping my stool in the open kitchen.” He said and you groaned.
“You’re never gonna let me live that down are you?” You asked breathily.
“Nope.” He confirmed smugly. He was very pleased with you when you brought your hands down between your legs and held your labia apart. He couldn’t help but lick his lips and salivate at the sight of your exposed and spread pussy. It was small and cute, your little clit was swollen and he was aching to suck on it. Then your tight little entrance…it was making him feral. His cock would definitely stretch you open and leave you with a memorable ache; an ache he knew you wanted. He watched your little hole pulsing in perfect time with his heartbeat. He couldn’t help himself as he delved into your pussy tongue first.
“H-harry!” You gasped as he groaned against you and stuffed his tongue inside of you as far as he could. You were squirming until he held your thighs open and started thrusting his tongue in and out of your entrance. You were so sensitive right there and it made you whimper when he started to just lick at and over your hole.
“Hold yourself open for me.” He mumbled as he reared back and then he spat against your pussy. You dropped your head back into the bed as he started to lick you up from top to bottom, he was avoiding your clit though and it was making you go insane. Every part of your pussy was being toyed with except where you were desperate for his touch. He knew what he was doing though as he chuckled and said something about it throbbing. You didn’t need to see it to believe it, you could feel it throbbing steadily.
“Harry, please! Please make me come!” You keened, “Please, please, please, please.” You whimpered as he continued to suck and slurp and lave all over you until finally, he started to mercilessly flick at your clit with the tip of his tongue. Your legs almost immediately started to shake and you dug your fingers into his hair, “Oh fuck!” You cried out. But as soon as he started to suck at your clit you lost all ability to speak. All you could do was gasp and shriek and mutter incoherent nonsense as each little slurp and suckle pulled you closer and closer into orgasmic bliss. When you started to wind up you tugged hard on Harry’s hair and he groaned against you.
“More.” He grunted and so you did it again, harder and his moans only added to your pleasure. He was so consistent, staying at the perfect pace until you started to come undone. Your back arched as you tried to kick him away with your shaking legs, but he was holding them down harshly and sucking and licking you until you had completely withered.
“Oh shit…” you sighed in contentment and just as you had begun to relax your body tensed back up when he nipped at your clit. He held you down as the stimulation continued until you were trembling and coming beneath him and crying out for him to stop. But he didn’t stop yet. It was hard to breathe and your head was spinning as he pulled you through yet another orgasm, you felt so out of sorts as your legs twitched and you hiccuped for a proper breath.
“Fuck…y’just taste so good, babygirl.” His words vibrated against your throbbing cunt and made you wince, “S’alright. I know it’s sensitive.” He hummed before kissing your inner thighs and then working his way up your body. His hands explored your dips and curves expertly and you raised your body to follow the movements of his hands along your skin. When he got to your breasts he was teasing with his mouth, winding you up until your already fucked out pussy was thrusting up, searching for his big bulge to rub against. You thought you were spent, but you needed so much more. Your lust for him kept growing and growing, it was consuming you entirely. 
When his lips finally met yours again and his center aligned with yours you felt relief; he felt big, you had yet to see his cock but he was heavy against you and it was exhilarating. He ground himself against you, working himself up. There would surely be a big wet spot on his sweats but something told you he wouldn’t mind it. The way he was kissing you was communicating very clearly that he had indeed been waiting for a long time to have this opportunity with you. 
“Please, Harry just do it.” You whined breathily, so impatient and eager to feel him.
“You were just begging me to stop. Make it make sense, baby.” He said with a smug grin and you wanted to slap it off his face but the way he looked in your eyes playfully and called you ‘baby’ made you reconsider. So instead of firing back some bratty retort you stayed quiet despite an evident pout overwhelming your features. “Don’t look at me like that, I’ll give it to you, just waiting a little bit.”
“For what?” You asked.
“Don’t you get so overwhelmed that you go a little numb? Read that can happen.” He asked with raised brows and you nodded.
“Yeah, a little bit…” you said as you thought about it.
“Don’t want to be doing things just for the heck of it, want you to actually feel good when I…you know?” He said more timidly and you smirked at him.
“When you what?” You asked.
“What?” He questioned you.
“You said you want it to feel good when you…and then you trailed off into something else.” You teased and he shook his head with a bashful smile.
“You know very well what.”
“Oh come on, just say it. You can’t be all shy about it when you’re about to… you know?” You mimicked him with a grin and he rolled his eyes, “This isn’t instilling a lot of confidence in me…” you hummed.
“Oh please, you nearly passed out from my oral.” Harry countered and your facade broke as you nodded.
“True…excellent oral, by the way… probably the best I’ve ever received.” You mused and he smirked.
“Is that so?”
“Yeah actually, I’d never lie to you about that.”
“About my oral skills?” He asked with a smile and you nodded, “Well, I really enjoyed doing that to you too…probably also one of my favorite times.”
“Probably?” You asked in mock offense and he shrugged.
“Well I can’t tell you the truth! Knowing you, it’ll go straight to your head, s’already too big.” He said with a smile and you hummed.
“Speaking of big heads…” you said with a grin as you rubbed up against him and he chuckled through the little shock of pleasure he received when you ground up against his stiff and aching cock. “Can I touch you while we wait for the numbness to wear off?” You asked as you slowly let your fingers slither down his chest and then circle where you knew his butterfly tattoo was.
“Absolutely not.” He said and you glanced up into his eyes with a frown.
“Harry-”
“I will blow my fucking load in like 30 seconds, OK? I just need to calm down a little bit before I get inside of you.” He confessed and you smirked.
“Oh…”
“None of that smug shit.” He scolded.
“That’s all you do to me! Just be smug and clever and shit!” You reminded with a giggle and he smiled.
“You take it well, I don’t.” He pointed and you hummed smugly.
“Yeah, I take a lot of things well…” you slipped in a little innuendo just for the fun of it and he smiled down at you with a “really?” Look painted across his very handsome and chiseled face. “Well let’s talk about something not sexy to calm you down then.” You said and he hummed in agreement as he then laid beside you and you turned to face him. Your legs trapped one of his in between them and he looked a little concerned, “Don’t worry, I’m not like…trying to make this sentimental or anything I just like how like…how your body hair feels against me. Like it tickles and it’s just a sensory thing I suppose.” You shrugged and he hummed in understanding as you ran one of your legs along his. He kinda had a similar thing he supposed because he wanted to run his hands all over your legs, they were so soft and smooth under his touch.
“What were you gonna talk about before you got distracted by my leg hair?” He asked with a smile and you sniggered as you looked into his eyes.
“If you’ve wanted this for a while why haven’t you tried before?” You asked and he shrugged.
“I just figured that when I felt that way for you it was because you like looked hot that day or something, I never really gave my horny fantasies much weight, you know? But ummm… I think with you being around more and us getting better acquainted like…I’ve realized that I am actually physically attracted to you.” He admitted and you nodded in understanding, “Have you…wanted this before?”
“Ummm…no? I don’t know, really… I’ve always thought you were hot. And I’ve had a couple sex dreams about you though. So clearly, subconsciously, you’ve been on my “to do” list.” You smirked at your pun and he sniggered and shook his head.
“Are these recent dreams?”
“One of them, yeah.” You said and he hummed as he brought a hand to your hip and he let his fingers trace a little further back to your ass as he caressed you, “Oh, I think I’m having a deja vu.” You said and he chuckled.
“Really?” He asked and out of nowhere he smacked your ass hard and you laughed through a surprised shriek, “Liar. You didn’t see that coming did you?” He chuckled.
“Admittedly no. But do you want to know who I did see coming?” You asked with a teasing grin, “Rather prematurely, I must s-” you were cut off by your own laughter as Harry rolled on top of you and started to tickle your sides as you writhed around laughing and gasping for air until he stopped. It was then that you both noticed that one of his hands was laying on your sternum, limiting your intake of oxygen.
“Sorry.”
“It’s alright I don’t mind that…I mean it’s not typically where it goes but-”
“Is that better?” He cut you off as his hand slid up to your throat and squeezed at the sides just a little bit and you nodded as best as you could. You loved that slightly floaty feeling that came when you were choked. It made everything feel better, you came for longer, and way harder, “I like this too.” He hummed as he lowered himself now and then kissed you deeply. Your world was spinning as your mouths met eagerly and sloppily, you just wanted to taste any part of him that you could. You could tell that he wanted that too, but he was holding back somehow, you could just feel it inside that there was so much more to explore, “Fuck it if it’s fast, you’ll come. I promise you will.” He grunted and you grabbed his face.
“Also remember, I already came three times so asking for a fourth might be a little much.” You said realistically and he shook his head.
“I want you to come around my cock, Y/N. Need to feel you coming around me.” He said huskily and something told you that whether you intended to or not, you would be coming around his cock and that made you all the more excited. He hadn’t stretched you out at all and so the prospect of getting stretched around his cock was extremely arousing. 
Harry rolled off of the bed to strip his top off and peel his sweats off of his body and your mouth watered at the look and size of him; of course he had a beautiful cock. Yeah, he was on the bigger end of things lengthwise, but what you knew would make it good was the girth of it. His cock was thick and heavy; it probably even looked bigger because of how lean and toned he was, but that didn’t bother you in the slightest. Your mouth watered as you watched him grab himself and stroke back his foreskin to expose the already leaking tip of his cock. After a few more strokes he pulled open the bedside drawer and before he could even search you reached out and stopped his hand.
“I have the shot and I’m clean.” You said and he glanced to you. “I am too and it’s not that I don’t trust you, we just really should use protection.” He said and you did look a bit disappointed at this but nodded.
“You’re right. Sorry if I-”
“It’s alright. Why don’t you want to?” He asked and you shook your head.
“Just wanted to really feel it all, you know? But it is reckless and-”
“Why don’t you want to use a condom, Y/N?” He asked you again more firmly but there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.
“I just told you!”
“Tell the truth.” he said and you swallowed thickly as he climbed back over your body and ground against you and you whimpered at his precum making your clit all sticky as it beaded out of his tip. 
“I want to feel you come inside me.” You said softly, “It was in my dream and I just remembered that when you went to grab a condom.” You admitted and he grunted lowly as his eyes closed for a second, just processing the information.
“I can’t finish inside of you, Y/N.”
“I know.” You said with a huff and he mulled over his desires in his head.
“I’ll go bare but I’m gonna pull out though, OK?” He compromised and you nodded.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” You agreed and he glanced down to where his cock rested over your core. He pushed through your folds once again and you both moaned softly at the wet sounds of your arousal-soaked skin gliding together. You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch this as well, you never wanted to forget this, not a single detail of it. You were so wet for him it was unreal. As soon as you positioned yourself to watch him tease your little cunt he stopped watching himself and just watched your face. You were hanging on by the thread. He started to guide himself down to your entrance and rubbed his tip against you, not pressing with enough pressure to try and stretch you open, but just to tease you and himself. Fuck, you were gonna be a snug fit, “D-do you think it’ll actually fit?” You asked as you glanced up at him and swallowed thickly. You asked because just feeling his head against your entrance made you question it because he hadn’t even stretched you out.
“It’ll fit.” He assured you, trying his best not to get too carried away that you thought his cock was so big it wouldn’t fit inside of you, “If not, we’ll make it fit.” He said as he looked at you and you bit your lip in response as a wave of excitement rushed through your body, “Does that turn you on?” He asked and you nodded, “Good babygirl, want you all bent out of shape for my cock.” He said lowly as he started to press his cock against your entrance and you whimpered as your entrance started to stretch around him to accommodate his size. You couldn’t look away as he gently prodded himself against you, coaxing your little hole open for him. It was driving you insane, you wanted him to just push it in, you could take it, you just needed to feel him inside.
“Har, just get it in.”
“Don’t want to hurt you.”
“I don’t care if it hurts, it’ll be fine after a little bit and-”
“I care if it hurts you.” He said and you huffed, “Patience, yeah?” He chuckled and you huffed and nodded as you just laid back instead. Watching him take his time was making you absolutely impatient.
“Yeah.” You said and he smiled. He loved how desperate you were for him, but also how he could reel you back in. You seemed to give in to him with such ease and it made him wonder if you were always like this or if this was just his effect on you. He could sleep with you again and verify…but this was a one time thing so he got that thought out of his mind immediately. After a few more goes you started to open up enough for him to push just the tip in.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.” You whispered and pressed yourself up again to watch it happen. It absolutely filled him with lust. He bit his lip hard as he added more pressure and your little hole parted and sucked him in, “Oh fuck!” You moaned and then glanced up at him to see his eyes already on yours. 
Harry’s own mouth was hung open now as he struggled to breathe. You were so fucking warm and tight and wet for him. He was reeling as he started to shallowly thrust his tip into you over and over again. His abs were already tightening up. When you started to rub at your clit he groaned because you started to squeeze him.
“You’re so fucking tight, baby. Oh fuck…” he moaned lowly.
“More, please. I need more.” You whined as you fell back into the mattress and he nodded and started pushing more in, feeling you adjust as he went in deeper. This was even better than his first time, maybe because he had wanted this with you for so long, “Ohmygod.” You slurred your words and squeezed your eyes shut. You felt so stretched and full that you thought you might explode.
“Just a little more, babygirl. Just a little more and you’ll have it all inside.” He encouraged you softly with his words as he gently thrust in and out, coaxing you open around his cock with each slow but determined thrust. “Fuck yeah…” he grunted when he bottomed out without a warning and you gasped in shock at how your body just opened up, “Shit such a tight little cunt around my big cock. Told you I’d fit.” He moaned as he dipped down to hover over your face. Something about him acknowledging how big he was turned you on, “Fuuuck…such a good fit.” He panted with pleasure.
You were speechless, mind drawn a blank of everything except him and the pleasure of his cock consistently thrusting in and out of you. It was almost an out of body experience as you continued rubbing your clit as he collided with parts of you that you didn’t even know could make you feel good. It was making your breathing hitch and your legs squeeze around his hips.
“Faster?” He asked after you seemed to get used to the feeling of him and you nodded.
“And harder. Please, just a little harder.” You requested and he obliged immediately and a smile spread across your face as you tipped your head back in ecstasy, “Oh fuck, just like that, Harry!” You moaned and he chuckled, loving the sound of his name in the tone of your voice. His hips snapped harder into yours, the obscene sounds of your bodies meeting were so perfectly synched with the little grunts he’d let out when your centers collided. When you brought the fingers you’d been rubbing your clit with up to his mouth he opened up and sucked on them, wetting them some more before you put them back.
“Shit baby, you feel so good,” He smiled as he placed a hand on your throat and you smiled, “But it’s time to make you come.” He said and you nodded.
“Please make me come.” You whispered breathily and he snapped at your feeble request and started pounding into you like that was his only purpose in life. You squeaked out in surprise at the sudden burst of intensity, but you easily succumbed to the pleasure that started to spread from deep in your belly and to the rest of your body. Harry was overwhelmed with just how perfect you were for him, even into the same things he was into so far. He needed to make sure that he ruined you for anyone else. Selfishly, he wanted to be the man you compared everyone else to. He knew that boys your age couldn’t even compare and that got him off.
“Gonna ruin this little pussy.” He groaned and you moaned in response, “Want you dripping for me every time we see each other. Want you to have more dreams about me and my cock now that you’ve had it.” His words were muffled as he pressed his lips to your forehead. You were all his for tonight, just this one night and he was going to take full advantage of that. “Fuck babygirl, y’just feel so fucking good.” He groaned and started going harder. You moaned each time his cock buried itself inside of you until your legs were trembling, he started to squeeze around your throat and your head started to get all fuzzy as your eyes welled up with tears of pleasure.
“M’close! So close!” You gasped pitifully as you rubbed your clit faster.
“Yeah, I can feel it, babygirl.” He panted, “Come for me. All over my cock, need to feel it.” He muttered desperately. Your body started to tense up even more and your other hand scratched down his back in a desperate attempt to be a bit more grounded as your orgasm started to burst through you; you were squirting. This had never happened to you like this and it was otherworldly. You felt like you were transcending and your vision was going splotchy as you gasped for air that you didn’t have access to. Every part of you was tingling and as soon as you felt your core tighten up for the last time an involuntary and broken cry left your throat as you started to come. You were just moaning, no words were being formed, just sounds as the waves of pleasure started to ripple through you endlessly so it seemed. Harry removed his hand from your throat and bored his face against it, kissing you, tasting you there, milking the pleasure before he had to pull out of you.
“Fuck. Oh fuck…” he moaned lowly as he started to thrust faster, chasing his own released. Your legs crossed around his hips and pulled him deeper, which made you wince but he moaned into your throat at the hot and spongey spot that his tip was kissing with each desperate thrust.
“Please come inside me.” You whimpered and he practically whined against your sweaty skin.
“Baby-”
“Please, I want it so bad. Give it to me, please.” You begged. He really wanted to come inside of you. Make you his in every sense. He kissed your lips messily and nodded.
“Shit babygirl, I’ll give you my cum.” He panted and his steady rhythm started to falter and his breathing started to hitch, “Oh fuck, take it, babygirl. Take all my fucking cum.” He moaned desperately against your mouth as he started to unravel. You moaned as you felt each twitch of his cock inside of you. The wet sounds got louder and his thrusts got slower but rougher as he shot his load deep in your pussy, like you had asked. Your hands came up, one to his hair and the other to smooth over his back as he worked himself through it until his weight was slumped over you. 
A silence overcame you both for several moments, you could not believe how incredible this had all been. You were reeling still, trying to recall little details that would be very useful for you in the future. You smiled dopily at the thought that Harry had done just what he’d set out to do, ruin you for anyone else. You felt him shift and then press himself up to be able to look at you.
“Are you alright?” He asked softly and you nodded before smiling.
“I’m very alright. Are you?” You asked and he grinned.
“Yeah. Never been better.” He assured and you giggled, “That was…really good. Wasn’t it?”
“Too good…” you said with a chuckle and he hummed as he looked you over once more and then looked away from your eyes timidly.
“Yeah…ummm, let me…get out.” He said and you laughed softly, “Just, squeeze a bit f’you can? I…cum a lot.” He said glancing up to you again.
“Of course you do…” you sighed before biting your lip and tightening up. You whimpered as he started to slip out.
“Oh shit.” He said and rushed off of the bed to grab his t-shirt from the floor and quickly   placed it over your vagina, presumably to avoid getting it all on the bedding.
“You’re gonna have to change this anyway, I’ve already…you know.” You said timidly as he glanced up while cleaning you up a bit.
“You can’t possibly be all shy about anything while I’m literally collecting my sperm out of you.” He said and you giggled and just laid your head back down. You wanted him to lick you clean and well, he was thinking the same thing, but this was supposed to be a one time thing. If he tasted himself and you mixed together this way he would surely end up putting another load in your pussy, “OK, I think that���s all of it.” He said as he stood by with the t-shirt just in case. 
“I’ll just go sit in the bathroom for a bit, should probably pee.” You said as you sat up and he nodded.
“Right.” He agreed as he moved to let you get off of the bed. You glanced at the ground to locate the shirt he had given you earlier, but you realized it was the one he had used to clean you up.
“Ummm, I’m gonna grab this one since that one’s-”
“Yeah, go for it.” He assured.
“And your sweats too since the briefs are…”
“Way too wet.” 
“Right!” You said as you picked that up as well and covered your naked body as you started to walk towards his bedroom door, “Thank you for that. But also fuck you for that because, you know that was…unreal sex.” You chuckled as you opened the door and he grinned.
“Yeah. Fuck you too.” He said and you giggled before slipping out and closing the door. 
You rushed into the bathroom when you felt more of his cum start to come out slowly with your movements. So you locked yourself in there and cleaned yourself up a bit more before sitting down to pee. You were panicking now as you thought of everything that had transpired. You ended up taking another body shower because you were sweaty. And as you rinsed off once again there were a lot of thoughts happening. But there was one huge and harrowing thought plaguing you and it was that there was no way this was the only time you guys could sleep together. That wouldn’t be fair, it was way too spectacular to be a one and done. Just the thought of it made you throb as you pulled his sweats up your body. You got the t-shirt on next and then sighed as you turned to the door and had another thought just as you swung it open to see him leaning on the wall directly across from the bathroom door; he was waiting for you.
“I have a boyfriend.” You verbalized your thought to him and Harry stepped up to you and grabbed your face in his hands with a grin.
“Fuck your boyfriend.” He said lowly, “And fuck the one time only thing. And fuck condoms. And fuck your brother’s rule. And fuck sleeping in the guest room.” You smirked at him and he was smirking right back at you, “Are you cool with that?” He asked.
“Yeah. Fuck all that.” You agreed quietly. You thought he was going to kiss you, but he didn’t.
“Let’s get to bed then.” He said instead and you nodded and he led you back into his bedroom. There was a new bedcover over some presumably fresh sheets and you both settled in and you smiled as he pulled your body against his. You had both fallen silent, just relaxing and getting used to whatever this was about to be and then his phone dinged loudly from his bedside table. “God damnit.” He huffed and let you go as he sat up and reached over you to grab it and silence it. But when he saw the text on the screen he almost laughed. “It’s him.” He said into the darkness and you sighed. He unlocked his phone and looked at the text, “He says: Hey man, just wanna know if you've heard from Y/N? Her phone is off? Or do you have any idea of where she might be?” He finished reading the message and you smirked.
“Gimme that.” You said and he gave you his phone, assuming you’d send him a message to throw him off that you two were together. But then you pressed on the little camera icon and he couldn’t help the satisfaction he felt seeping into every fiber of his body, “Say cheese.” You sang.
“Fuck that, just take it.” He said and you giggled and threw up a peace sign before snapping the picture and smiling at the result. He looked mad and threatening, which was perfect. Harry grabbed his phone back with a grin and then texted: Yeah man, she’s with me and it’s over with you. “How’s that?”
“Perfect.” You assured and he hummed as he sent it and then blocked his number before handing you his phone to put it back on the nightstand. You hummed happily as he wrapped his arm around you again. As you let his warmth envelope you, you smiled as you started to think about all of the great things that would surely come of this because Harry was absolutely right before, you two were a good fit.
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violetsiren90 · 8 months ago
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New Rules | Don't pick up the phone.
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Table of Contents: Teaser (Prologue); Don't pick up the phone; Don't let him in
Pairing: f*ck boi!Jisung x f!Reader; Jisung x Minho
Genre: choose your own adventure; drabble/vignette series; angst and smut; f*ck buddies; college/post grad
Summary: Jisung has had you wrapped around his finger for the last half-decade. You know good and well that it's time to move on…but you can never seem to follow your own rules long enough to shake him.
*Based on the lyrics of "New Rules" by Dua Lipa
Content warnings: 18+ (minors, dni) Explicit smut; toxic relationship; partying (alcohol and marijuana usage); characters commit sexual acts while partaking in controlled substances; sexual frustration; masturbation; fantasizing; flashbacks/backstory; lust and resentment; possessive Minho; dom Minho/sub Jisung if you squint; voyeurism; hand job; orgasm
Word Count: ~1600
Author's Note: Well, here we go! This is gonna get messy. Thanks to your poll responses (thank you so much for voting!!) we have a Minsung plot line. The next poll will be at the end of the drabble. I hope you enjoy this sinful little indulgence! ❤🔥
As always, if no one has told you today, please know that you're loved, and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜
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You know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone.
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Your heart hammers in your chest as you watch your phone buzz beside the stove. A groan escapes your lips as you let your head sag between your arms, outstretched to clutch the cheap, white tile of your kitchen countertop.
You’re wet just from seeing his name scroll across the caller ID.
Pushing away from where the device continues to ring out, you press your fingers to your temples and screw your eyes shut.
No. This has to stop.
The sudden phantom sensation of a pussy drunk tongue laving lazily over your swollen clit has you shuddering violently. As your eyes snap back open you shake yourself, stripping off your sweatshirt, suddenly hot.
The phone begins to buzz again, but you retreat into your bedroom, shutting the door as you lay against the cool softness of your comforter. You know what needs to be done…or rather, you know who absolutely cannot be, and your dominant hand has already begun to breach the the waistband of your leggings. You can feel him, smell him, taste him. You chest heaves.
You hold the onslaught of unholy memories at bay as your fingers brush over your mound.
Unfocused gaze aimed at the blades of the ceiling fan as they cycle hypnotically, your mind reaches for an image you’ve recalled and pushed away countless times. Your lips part as your fingers find your warmth. It was the moment that had sentenced you to the madness, an erotic and hollow awakening. You could see it now, as if three years hadn’t passed.
…Jisung.
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Han Jisung was a fruit that hung from the tree in the center of the garden. One that many thirsted to taste. You ran in very different circles when you first met, sophomore year of undergrad. He was living life in the fast lane and you were diligently working your way through a six-year education plan. And yet, you became something like friends in the minutes between two and three pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He would drop by the student success center for assistance with business economics, though you rarely talked about that, and amongst the textbooks and index cards and vending machine nourishment, you discovered him.
You found him to be different than he presented in a crowd, especially his typical one. He was shy and sweet and silly with an unbelievable amount of intelligence that he carried around like a key he hadn’t found the lock for - something that kept him awake at night and brought his nails between his teeth. When he wasn’t subdued by a quiet reserve, he wielded his boyish good looks and a charisma that could be harnessed at will with nearly total recklessness, and you fell no less a victim to his cheeky charm than the rest of the student body.
Of course, you’d known of him before he’d sat down at your tutoring desk that first day. Everyone did - and not a few in a way that had earned him a specific brand of notoriety. You’d seen them time and again, the passersby who waved and giggled with their friends at the recollection of a mouthful of his cock.
And you’d taken it for another part of his restlessness, the promiscuity - an easy outlet for all of that vibrating, frenetic energy. Until that night.
Jisung was in a punk rock group, and a good one for being so amateur. The five of them, The Maniacs, had established a fair amount of celebrity on campus. He was close with his bandmates, especially one in particular who you’d taken for his best friend - Minho. He talked about him constantly.
Lee Minho was another fruit on the tree in the center of the garden. Devastatingly handsome, his eyes and lips held a kind of cold cruelty that only seemed to sharpen his beauty, and he sang with the voice of a fallen angel. The senior was The Maniacs' front man and walking lingerie department, considering the sheer number of lacy underthings that had been tossed in his direction. Jisung worshiped him, and it wasn’t unusual to see the pair sharing a cigarette in a grassy corner of the quad, casually draped over one another like two cats in the sun.
Jisung lived in his world, and you in yours. Your circles turned with earth and the moon, intersecting and deviating in natural course. And then, on the Thursday before spring break that year, he did something he’d never done before - he invited you to one of his gigs. It was a house party at the vacation home of an old-money alum. You surprised yourself by saying you’d go. Uncharacteristic of you. You didn’t expect to know a soul aside from Jisung, and it meant calling out of your shift at work…but recently, you’d begun to fantasize.
You’d begun to dabble in dangerous and preposterous daydreams in moments between your encounters, and created a little monster he’d fed just enough with the invitation. You were a sensible person as a rule, and tonight you felt like being reckless. Like being indulgent. So you went.
You dressed the part. Did yourself up. Drenched yourself in your roommate’s perfume.
You showed up on the late side, and the band had already been playing when you arrived. He looked glorious strapped to a guitar in a fitted tank top and distressed skinny jeans, glinting silver hoops catching the light at his ears. You smiled at him when he found you in the crowd and he waved. Then, after the set, he found you, handed you a joint, and told you with a wink to save it for after the show.
Your heart pounded the rest of the night.
You watched him tear up the room with the rest of the band. You cheered uproariously. You danced with your drink raised over your head. If it was a dream, you were sleepwalking for all you cared. The more buzzed you became the fuzzier the lines between reality and fantasy began to appear.
You stayed late into the night, as you’d promised. And sometime after midnight, when the majority of the guests had dispersed and those who remained were locked in bedrooms or passed out on cushioned furniture, he found you. He took your hand and tugged you towards the backyard.
From the couch in the sitting room, sprawled out and sweating with smoke wisping from his lips, Minho watched.
Jisung led you out to the pool, and you both sat on the edge - you with your calves dipped into the cool water as he sat cross-legged beside you. He lit the joint, and you passed it back and forth as you talked. You talked like you always did, but with something new hanging in the air, an energy that had you humming with anticipation beside him. He was so relaxed. You wondered if it was the weed. You hoped it was you. And then he looked at you like he did in your daydreams and his eyes dropped to your lips.
Then his phone chimed.
Glancing at it he sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he stood and told you he’d be back in a minute. So you waited. And waited. Then you pulled your feet out of the pool, picked up your heels, and went to find him.
You didn’t have to look far.
The moonlight was streaming through the floor-to-ceiling glass of the wall facing the expanse of the yard and across the sitting room, casting the bodies of sleeping party-goers draped over chairs and loveseats in the cool marble of its illumination. Everything was silent and still - so the soft, desperate groan from the couch on the far side of the space was enough to pull your eyes to its source.
You sucked in a breath, your lips parting and mouth going dry as the scene before you seared itself onto your retinas like an obscene tattoo.
Minho was seated low on the cushions, the black leather of his shapely legs splayed wide to accommodate Jisung. The younger man sat in his lap, his back to Minho’s chest, skinny jeans pushed down his thighs while the older man methodically stroked his exposed cock. Jisung’s eyes were screwed shut, his features contorted in ecstasy - mouth hanging open as he whimpered and gasped.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away…and then you saw his. Minho’s. 
Gleaming and dark and full of a lustful wickedness, they locked you in their gaze over Jisung’s shoulder. As he watched you he began to twirl his wrist, tugging Jisung’s cock in torturous circles as he twisted and pumped so that it began to weep from its tip. Minho’s lips curled up in a sensuous sneer.
You should have run. You should have turned around and shut the door on everything. But you were hazy on weed and liquor and you swayed, frozen where you stood, as you felt a sticky dampness gathering at the gusset of your panties. It was the most arousing and gutting thing you had ever seen.
Minho’s left hand raised to snake around Jisung’s throat, two lithe fingers pressing at his pulse point. Jisung jerked and twitched over him, as if trying to restrain himself from writhing under the ministrations of Minho’s fist. It was intensely lewd, how naked he looked in all his clothes with his belly and cock and the tops of his thighs exposed to Minho’s touch. The zipper on the sleeve of the singer’s leather jacket kept time like a tinkling pornographic metronome as he jerked his bandmate closer and closer to oblivion.
Your pulse pounded in your pussy as you watched your friend’s face twist in carnal euphoria, hips jerking erratically as his white cum surged over Minho’s hand to drip over his bared tummy and hips.
You watched Jisung. Minho watched you.
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Your eyes snap open and you pull your sticky fingers from your folds, crying out in frustration as your climax eludes you. Rolling over, you rip open your nightstand drawer to grasp for a vibrator.
The toy buzzes you brutally over the edge.
Your phone has stopped buzzing in the kitchen.
~To be continued~
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my-my-my · 2 months ago
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Happy Halloween! And 3rd anniversary to my Aizen x Reader Halloween fic! I originally planned to reblog the fic today, but to my surprise, I never posted it on tumblr, I only provided the AO3 link to it. So voila, here is the fic for tumblr viewing.
Chapter 2 can be found here (which I did post on tumblr?? I genuinely don't know what I was thinking not posting the first chapter here lol).
Summary: [Modern AU, Halloween theme] Being a grad student is hard, dating is even harder. You weren't even sure if Aizen's your boyfriend, but you want him to come to this Halloween party. Too bad he's "busy".
TW: Aizen's a bit of a creep. Chapter 2 features stalking, spanking, costume sex.
Word count: 1773.
Read on AO3 here.
Halloween was fast approaching on campus. Midterm exams and assignments were done with, a small reprieve for you and your fellow classmates. For now, you and your cohort could focus on your theses without distraction, and have a few Halloween parties here and there – and lucky for all of you, Halloween fell on a Saturday.
Your friend, Midori had found out from a group of older PhD students that a Halloween party was happening on an old estate just on the outskirts of the city. The two of you didn’t know if it was an abandoned estate or not, but the two of you, and a few of your friends, Akon, Yamada Hanataro and Kuchiki Rukia, decided to attend.
The five of you talked eagerly about costume plans in your graduate student lounge. Would all of you go as a group costume? “Maybe we could be the Karakura Superheroes? That’d be fun!” Rukia suggested, her eyes wide with awe.
“Ugh no, let’s not. I’m not too into the thought of wearing spandex with the amount of drinking and candy eating we’ll be doing” Midori said.
“Hey, did you ask Ai-“ Midori turned to you, but you cut her off, not wanting to answer the question.
“That’s a good point. Maybe we should just go as separate costumes.” You pondered, and secretly wished for. You had an idea of what you wanted to wear and had already purchased some details to compliment your costume.
“Yeah, that’ll save us time, we can’t keep hashing out ideas like this. Before you know it, Saturday’s here and we’ll have no costumes. I don’t think they’ll let us in without one.” Akon drawled out, scrolling through his phone, not noticing Midori’s unanswered question.
“And money’s been tight for me too,” Hanataro sheepishly said, “I was hoping to wear my costume from last year” he nervously laughed.
“Chappy?!” Rukia shouted, slamming her hands on the table.
“y-yeah! Chappy. Can’t go wrong with ol’ faithful” Hanataro continued on with his nervous laughter, knowing how much Rukia adored Chappy in any iteration. Before Rukia could start her confession on how much she loved Chappy, you bid your friends goodbye and further questions from Midori. Your phone chimed with the alarm that it was time to head to your tutorial, which was on the other side of campus.
Walking your way to your tutorial building, you mulled over what Midori was about to ask,
“Hey did you ask Aizen-san to come?”
You weren’t even sure how to answer that. You only went on three dates (that you were counting), with sparse texts here and there. You weren’t even sure if he was interested in you, he was just so busy. Everyone spoke so highly of him, his CV was impressive, and of course he had a few student admirers too.
It amazed you that he asked you out. He was a psychiatrist who went back to academia and was working towards his PhD, as if his MD wasn’t enough. The two of you had a few classes here and there, and you were certain a man of his caliber, at his age, was married, but he wasn’t.
Everything about him confused you, and the few moments you had with him, left you wanting to know more. But that was enough about Aizen for now, as the undergrads lined up waiting to have their statistics questions answered.
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The hour and a half tutorial went by surprisingly fast. Your students slowly trickled out of the classroom, some staying behind to ask you a few more questions. Professor Senjumaru Shutara made an emphasis that Teaching Assistants would stay long until the last student left, unless the TA had to leave for their own classes. So you patiently answered the remaining students until you were alone.
As you packed away your things, you checked your phone for any notifications. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw a text from Aizen.
“Are you free in half an hour? Let’s grab coffee at the Yazawa Café? My treat.”
You couldn’t help by smile, and typed up your response, “I just finished my tutorial, I’ll see you soon” ending your text with a smiley face.
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The warm smells of freshly brewed coffee and tea wafted in the air as you entered the Yazawa Café. The place was quieting down, but there were still some people that added to the ambiance of the café. You spotted Aizen in a secluded corner with some plants, as if he didn’t want to be found. He leaned back in his seat, with his glasses resting on the table, as he pinched the bridge of his nose, deep in thought.
“Sousuke-san, I hope you weren’t waiting long” you murmured, watching him slowly open his eyes. They held such intensity that it startled you. You realized his glasses softened his intense gaze.
He quickly placed his glasses, his eyes appearing soft again as he ruffled his hair. “I wasn’t waiting at all. I just got here as well.” He smiled, sitting up from his seat as the two of you walked towards the counter.
“What do you think you’ll get, Sousuke-san?” You asked politely, inspecting the menu. The coffee menu was fairly standard you thought, but the teas piqued your interest as you saw a variety of blends available. Unconsciously you bit your lip as you looked at the chocolate strawberry cake as well.
“Have you made a decision?” Aizen asked as the Barista called the both of you forward.
“Oh yes, I’d like to try the betsujyo sencha blend.”
Aizen gave you a gentle smile, “Have you had it before? It’s a pleasantly refreshing tea.” He explained.
“No I haven’t, but it sounds like you have. If it’s Sousuke-san approved, then it’s good enough for me.” You smiled brightly.
He chuckled and told the Barista his order, “and I’ll have the kabusecha and a slice of chocolate strawberry cake”. As soon as Aizen paid, the Barista handed an elegant white plate with a slice of cake to Aizen. “Oh no” he explained, “this is for her” he motioned towards you, handing you the plate.
“Me? But I didn’t –”
Aizen chuckled, “you were looking at the cake intensely, and you’re probably hungry after your tutorial”. You couldn’t help but blush at how well he could read you so instantly, it was a bit unnerving sometimes. It was unfair in a way, you thought, how he could pick up little bits about you and guess correctly, while he remained a mystery.
“Thank you, but you’re having some of this too! May I please have an extra fork?” You asked the Barista. Once the two of you had your teas, you made your way back to your secluded corner.
“Thank you again for paying for drinks and the cake, Sousuke-san.” You murmured, taking a small sip of your tea.
“It’s not a problem. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you.” Aizen said softly, “how have your classes been going this term? I’m surprised I don’t have at least one with you.”
You laughed and relaxed back in your chair, stretching your arms out. You talked about how you only had one class this semester, and you were hoping to finish your thesis by the end of next term. You always felt at ease speaking with Aizen. He was an attentive listener and you felt like the two of you could talk about anything and everything under the sun.
Unaware of the time, you quickly checked your phone. You were startled, the two of you spending almost three hours chatting.
“Oh Sousuke-san, I have to leave…” you hesitated, not wanting to leave his side yet. “If you don’t have plans, would you like to come over to my place for dinner? I owe you for the tea and cake!” You explained, becoming flustered, but staring directly at him.
Aizen looked surprised, but gave you a soft smile, “I’d like that. Well then, lead the way.” The two of you left the café, with you filled with excitement and joy knowing you were spending more time with him.
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You weren’t sure how dinner ended up with the two of you on your couch, kissing passionately. Both your cheeks were rosy, lips slightly sore from the intensity, and you became acutely aware of how strong Aizen’s grip was on your hips.
A hand left your hip as Aizen gripped your head again as you steadied your gaze on him. His eyes were sharp, almost as if he was inspecting you with great care. Cheeks lightly dusted with pink, lips turned in a smirk as he pressed your lips against his once again. You sighed into him as you felt his tongue enter your mouth.
Butterflies danced in your stomach as you pushed him away. You tried to steady yourself again to regain your breaths. Aizen relaxed his grip as he nuzzled your neck, kissing along it. Although you felt content in his arms, it was time for him to go. You had an early meeting with your supervisor.
“What’s on your mind?” Aizen asked, as he gazed back at you.
But you didn’t want the night to end. You didn’t know when you would see him again. Sighing, you took a deep breath, “I have a meeting tomorrow morning, so I have to sleep soon,” you murmured, avoiding his gaze and staring at the collar of his shirt. “When can I see you again?”
Aizen leaned back into your couch, pulling you into his chest as he stroked your hair. The lull of his heartbeat putting you at ease. You could feel sleep calling to you, with Aizen’s hypnotic voice not helping the matter.
“Unfortunately not for a while.”
“Are you free Halloween evening at least?” You asked, “there’s a party my friends and I are going to – some of the other PhD students planned it, I’d love it if you came with me.” You pulled out your phone and showed him the silly graphic with the party details. Aizen looked intently in the screening – a part of you wondered if he was remembering the details.
Aizen gave you a sad smile, “unfortunately I’m doing a rotation that night” he explained. Disappointment washed over your face, which Aizen chuckled lightly at, “but send me a photo of your costume, I’d love to know what you’re going as.” Kissing you lightly on your forehead.
Another sigh escaped your lips, “alright”.
You bid him goodnight, but not without another kiss. As you saw Aizen walk off into the distance, you felt the familiar, yet sad ache in your heart.
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Chapter 2
Happy Halloween!
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writtenonreceipts · 4 months ago
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Rowaelin Month Day One: Long Distance Surprise @rowaelinscourt
Month Masterlist // AO3
Notes: drabbly and quick (poor edits), most of my energy went into different prompts, haha. But I wanted to write for as many as I could this year!
Warnings: none, ~1k words
.*.*.*.*.
Thinking of You
A chill clung to the air as Aelin stepped from the English Department building.  It was late and cold and all she wanted to do was go home and change into her pajamas and not have any type of responsibility until next week.  Unfortunately for her, she was in Grad School and taking a break didn’t exist in her routine functions. In fact, she probably wouldn't know what a break was until she was graduated with a degree in hand.
Adjusting the strap of her backpack, she took off for the other side of campus.  If she kept a quick pace, she could be safe inside her apartment in under half an hour. She didn’t live too far from the school, something she’d insisted upon when moving to Adarlan.  While she refused student housing, she still wanted to be close for events, classes, and her internship.  Thankfully, she’d gotten all her wishes.  Well, all except one.
When her phone buzzed in her pocket, she fumbled for it.  She caught it on the third ring, pressing the screen to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Fireheart.” Rowan’s voice was a balm to her soul, washing over her with warmth and affection.
“Hi,” she said again, trying to fight off the emotion that burst in her chest just by hearing his voice.
“Are you back at your house yet?” Rowan asked.
He always called her around this time, knowing it was when she got out of her last workshop of the day and was leaving campus.  He always said it was a coincidence but Aelin suspected he didn’t like her walking alone and in silence.
“No, just left,” she sighed. “Things ran long.”
More words threatened to spill out, but Aelin bit them back.  It wasn’t worth bringing it all out now.  She ducked down a path that cut between the administration offices and south parking lot.  The path was lined with maple trees, their canopies hanging low with gold and yellow leaves.  It would only take another sudden drop in temperature before all the leaves would fall away leaving behind bare and empty branches.
“How was your day?” she asked, hoping to push any attention away from her. “Did you get funding for your project?”
Rowan, over a thousand miles away, had accepted a prestigious job at a museum in Terrasen.  With his degree in Ancient Slavic History and Languages, he was invaluable to his team.  He was working towards his own master’s degree with this internship. Which meant different schools.  It was remarkable what he’d been working on over the last few months.  And even though she missed him more and more each day they were apart, she as insanely proud of him.
“Yeah, I did,” he said.  Aelin could hear the smile in his voice. “We’re going to be able to work on a new display with access to those journals from Germany I was telling you about?”
Aelin couldn’t help her own smile as she listened to him talk about his project.  It always sparked warmth in her chest to hear him talk about his passions.  It was a comfort to, just hearing his voice.
They’d met on their first day of undergrad classes in a biology course.  Despite their names being on opposite ends of the alphabet, they’d been partnered together through the entire semester.  It had gone horribly from day one.  They hadn’t gotten along, in fact, all their lab assignments ended in an argument and a threat from the TA to flunk them both.  Why they weren’t separated, Aelin would never know, but she was grateful for in nonetheless. 
Somehow in the chaos of it all, they’d become friends.  And then more.
“Aelin?” Rowan’s gentle prodded broke her from her revere.
“Yeah, I’m here,” she said.
She made it to the main road, streetlamps bright as day.  This side of campus was always well lit, even as it neared ten.
“You sure you’re alright, Fireheart?” Rowan asked. “I know the start of a new semester is hard.”
“Yeah,” she said again, “yeah, I’m fine.”
She tried to lighten her voice and stay upbeat, she didn’t want him to worry.  Rowan already had enough to worry about.
“Aelin.”  Rowan shifted on the other side of the phone and Aelin heard a door shut and what sounded like a beer opening. “I know you.”
Aelin blinked back the tears that started burning behind her eyes.  She would not cry.  She hurried through the courtyard of her apartment complex, cutting a direct line to her apartment.
“Hold on, I’m almost to my door,” she said.  She really just wanted a second to collect herself, especially while on the phone with Rowan.
“Good,” Rowan said, “there should be something waiting for you.”
“What?” 
His words didn’t register until she was hurrying up the stairs that led to her door.  As soon as she reached the landing she found a large box waiting on her welcoming mat.
“What did you do?” she asked.  She unlocked her door, pushing it open so she could toss her bag in. “Hang on, I need two hands.”
After dropping her phone on the couch, she returned back outside to grab the box.  She carried it to the kitchen before returning for her phone.
“Buzzard, what did you do?” Aelin pressed again.  She put the call on speaker so she could open the box a little less chaotically with a pair of scissors.
“I thought you could use a pick-me-up,” Rowan said.
The box wasn’t a simple little thing either.  Aelin started pulling things out—fuzzy socks, candles, bath salts, and chocolate.  So much chocolate.  In fact, most of the box was chocolate.
This time, Aelin couldn’t hold back the tears. Hot tracks rolled down her cheeks as she stared at the items now laid out across her counter.  It had been ages since anyone had done something like this for her since she’d felt loved.
“Ro—” she began.
“I wanted to come down myself but we got the approval—”
“Rowan,” she chuckled, shaking her head as she lifted the phone closer to her mouth. “I know.”
She sniffed, wiping her nose on the collar of her shirt.  Dealing with emotions had never been her strong suit.  It had taken nearly a year to tell Rowan she loved him for hells sake. 
“I know you won’t listen, but try not to eat all that chocolate tonight, yeah?” he said.
“Ha-ha,” Aelin mocked.  She rolled her eyes and cracked open the hazelnut truffles. “I make no promises.”
Rowan let out a laugh. “Hmm.  You going to tell me how your day really went?”
“No,” she said. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
And it didn’t.  because now at least, she could talk to him.  She could listen to him ramble on about whatever new quirk he’d learned in his studies.  She could listen to his steady breathing.  She could simply spend a few minutes with him. 
It wasn’t until she was drifting off to sleep with the phone tucked between her ear and her pillow that they finally disconnected, Aelin whispering a soft I love you and Rowan promising to see her soon.
She hated this routine of theirs but soon…soon they’d be reunited.
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saja-star · 9 months ago
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I showed up yesterday completely unprepared. No water, no emergency phone numbers, my school backpack on my back with my laptop in it. I thought it would be a small event on the green and the university admin would mostly ignore us. People talked about holding a seder, teaching classes.
I was surprised by the turnout, but the university was not. Over 150 cops showed up, state troopers, APD, university security, and others. They surrounded us on all sides and boxed us in tighter and tighter. Call me a coward, but me and the people with me got out of the box and away from the center at that point. There were a dozen troopers on horseback. They rode through groups of people shouting at them to move or the horse would hurt them. Some on motorcycles. Some with batons forming barriers and pushing people back (except for the moments the students pushed them back).
The governor called for us to be arrested, and I've heard over 79 people were. Indiscriminately: including people tying to disperse the group, including a cameraman for Fox. Students were shoved to the ground, bruising their faces and bloodying their noses. They were dragged by their hair and legs, one of them over a chain link fence. From what I've heard, the charges will likely be dropped, but we're waiting to see what action the university will take internally. If graduate student employees, professors, and staff will lose jobs (they already banned some grad students from TAing, effectively firing them, for implying support for palestine). If undergrads will be expelled (which the university suggested would happen). No idea how an arrest or other reprisals may impact international students who depend on this job/school enrollment for their visas.
The dispersal order said that we'd broken rules by obstructing pathways. The stated plan was to sit on the lawn, but police pushed everyone off the lawn and set up a perimeter around it, forcing them onto the sidewalks where they could be arrested. This protest was smaller than the crowds of people standing around for the eclipse, which the police felt no need to disperse. The university president, in his response, stated that he supports lawful protests, but this one broke the rules. Which rules? Well the university knew about the protest in advance and decided in advance that it wouldn't be allowed, period. So he's pro-protest, but this protest broke the rules of... existing at all.
Last night there was an email from the Dean of Students expressing concern for those "affected" and offering support. She made it very clear who this support was for by saying that if we felt unsafe, we should call the university police. The president's statement suggested that many people at the protest were not from the university, which is blatantly untrue. Every single person I met there was a student, employee, or alumnus.
Today a notice was passed around at the protest laying out a new set of rules, and a matching list was sent to all university staff by the provost. It bans wearing masks, being on the lawns, being at entrances, being on walkways, making any noise, and being out after 10 pm. Organizers were already working around the ridiculous claims that the protest was too noisy and therefore distracting students in class by not using any amplification devices. Instead everything they said was repeated by the people around in waves so that the people at the back could hear.
Today was scheduled for a protest from the state employees' union against the sudden firing of 60 staff associated with DEI, following the state's ban on DEI offices and programs. The union officially ceded the day to protest for Palestine and against the events of yesterday. The DEI protest is rescheduled for Monday.
Today's resumption of the protest wasn't met with violence like yesterday. There was some police presence, but much lighter, and they didn't press us. After two hours, we dispersed peacefully on the organizers' orders. I've heard that there was even more turnout today than yesterday, although I never got a good look at the crowd from a distance either day. I am proud that a number of people from our department were there, from undergrads to tenured professors. I am grateful that as far as I have been able to find out, none of my colleagues or students have been arrested.
Everyone take care. 🇵🇸
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