#and it's really mostly about those three coming to Understand each other better

[variousqueerthings]

EDIT AFTER REREADING THE BELOW... I HAVE GONE SO FAR FROM THE ORIGINAL MANDATE OF THIS POST BUT WHAT ELSE IS A BRAND NEW ADHD DIAGNOSIS FOR??????????

started writing some thing about diefenbaker taking more of a backseat overall in s2 and while that is true, i did realise the themes that exist with him are still pretty strong as they pertain to fraser's relationships with meg and ray as metaphor for... stuff

there's an ongoing thing about how he's become addicted to junk food (played for laughs but still) and also that fraser is trying to make sure his senses stay sharp because he's getting sloppy, while fraser also has several episodes in which he is aware of the way he's becoming ever more... domesticated, shall we say (this is spoken to him both by people he knows from back home who are Tsimshian, and by a rambo-esque PTSD-suffering environmentalist who recognises a kinship with him)

in that sense, while dief doesn't lead parts of the narrative like he did in s1 (especially in the episode where fraser is almost driven to shooting him -- as dictated he must do by Society's Laws) it does give a certain... enkidu the wild man who is forever brought closer and closer to civilisation and further from nature and is this what's right actually?

fraser is being pulled by two things -- on the one side, represented by diefenbaker, the place he came from and it's suggested in many ways deeply misses (i mean, the lyrics of the theme song itself are very obvious "you know you have to leave here / you wish that you could stay / there's four directions on this map but you're only going one way / due south"), and on the other by his deepening human connections with especially ray and meg, compelling him to acclimatise for reasons beyond his initial banishment (and the fact ofc that it is banishment, he's not in chicago of his own free will, so is it kind of a cage? one he's forgetting exists bit by bit?)

that being said, am rewatching and need to remember what happens in the back-half of s2. my memory says that meg doesn't really interact much with diefenbaker at all/tends to pretend he's not there (which is in and of itself quite interesting -- is there an emotional threat there of some kind?) while ray's and diefenbaker's relationship i think runs pretty similar to how it was for most of s1, just more settled on the whole

questions here about meg -- who is also rcmp and isn't exactly a wilting flower by any stretch of the imagination and whom i don't necessarily connect with The City other than the fact that she's the inspector of the consulate -- and her role as pulling fraser away from diefenbaker a little? i may be reaching, i need more data! something perhaps of her masking her own true self because of her experiences as a woman in a canonically highly misogynistic space and fraser on the other side gently opening the possibility up for her of being less Proper and her fighting it tooth and nail and not acknowledging the wolf in the room!

and ray, who is domesticating both human and wolf simultaneously

ok let me make this about kink again somehow: you can put a leash on fraser for fun but recognise he's gotta go out somewhere and build a cabin with his bare hands or rescue people from a burning house or something along either of those lines at least twice a week or else he will fade away and die. try to put a leash on diefenbaker and he'd probably bite your hand off

i think both meg and ray know this and respect this, in each their own way...

smthin important for me in my understanding of mr benton bentoni fraser is that yes he's got the martyr syndrome and yes he was raised in a pretty austere (but loving) environment and was probably one of those kids with an unnervingly large vocabulary and he has real issues related to living up to his father's "image" and that image itself being tarnished and doesn't often allow himself to feel his feelings and has definitely always been an outsider to his peers but...

he is also an adrenaline junkie

my man isn't just jumping off moving cars and getting in trouble and putting himself in hospital a few times a month solely for the sake of the good of the people, he is in danger to Feel Alive and if some smart mean-for-fun dommy sadist figured this out he could get himself bruised (and bossed around) whenever he wanted..... oh look, the show introduced her in s2 👀👀👀

[potatoplace]

I Look in People's Windows

Cassian x Archeron!Reader (unrequited)

The Afterthought: Chapter 1 | series masterlist

part 2 | ACOTAR x reader masterlist

Story Summary: You are the youngest Archeron sister, saved from the fate of the Cauldron by mere chance. Perhaps having been dumped in those murky waters would have been a better fate for you, when it seems that no one cares for your presence any longer.

Warnings: slut shaming, shitty inner circle (mostly Nesta and Elain), suicidal ideation

Words: ~ 4.2k

Author's Note: ahhhhh I hope you guys like this! I'm really hoping all of this makes sense lol I wrote it in one go. This idea came to me at work and you guys have already shown just the ideaaaa so much love 🫶 enjoy! I'm gonna go listen to Rosie by Rosé nowww -- let me know if you guys want a part two!

18+ only pls

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Gone.

They were gone.

You had been out at the Reeson's home, being courted by their youngest son, Geoffrey. He was very polite, and even walked you back to the manor, your arms clasped together.

If you had to choose a suitor from the village you grew up in, Geoffrey would be the one. He was kind to you and your family, even in the depths of poverty.

It wasn't until you were in the manor, the door swinging shut behind you after you had bid Geoffrey farewell, that you saw it.

The carnage.

Every single maid and butler that you family employed... Slaughtered. Your father was already away on business, having gone to the Continent to meet with the Queens about the looming threat above the wall.

And your sisters... Nesta and Elain... Were missing.

You sprinted out of the manor after checking every room for your siblings, the hem of your pink gown soaked in blood, and ran to the inn in the center of town.

Thankfully the innkeep was kind enough to rent you a room on credit while the men of the night watch removed the bodies, burying them in the village graveyard.

Only a few days later, you were back in the manor, scrubbing every tile, panel, and piece of furniture to rid them of the horrors spilled upon them.

Your sisters were still missing. You had no idea of where they could be taken, besides over the wall, into the land of the fae.

But why? That's what you couldn't understand.

Not until three months later.

Three months later, you opened the door to the manor, met face to face with your youngest sister.

"Feyre!" You exclaimed, pulling her into a hug. She was stiff in your arms, pulling away only a moment later.

Fair enough, you thought. It has been quite a while since I last had the chance to hug her, her new senses may make them less comfortable.

"I was so worried, Nesta and Elain have been missing for months and the entire household staff was- was-" you sobbed, putting your face in your hands.

"Oh, Y/N, it's alright. Nesta and Elain are alive and safe," Feyre reassured you, gentle hands holding your shoulders as the knowledge of their safety calmed you. "But..."

"But...?" You asked, worry washing over you once more.

"I... Really, you should come with me and see for yourself..." Feyre trailed off. "Come to Velaris with me?"

You nodded immediately- if that's where your other sisters are and where Feyre is going, of course you would go. "Take me to them, please."

In the next moment, you were whipping through the fabric of reality, landing in a cozy sitting room.

Nesta and Elain were seated on the couch next to each other, Elain gazing out the window with a dazed look, and Nesta reading a novel of some kind, before her eyes snapped up to see the two of you.

Her eyes narrowed at you, filled with a silvery fire and so much hatred that you could hardly breathe-

Not human.

Fae.

Your other two sisters... are fae.

You blinked in confusion, looking to Feyre for answers.

"Nesta and Elain were... They were taken by Hybern and changed using the Cauldron, Y/N," Feyre whispered into your mind as she guided you out of the sitting room and into a kitchen, and you flinched at the sensation.

"I don't understand, Fey. What... When did all of this happen? What happened?"

Feyre sighed as she sat you at the dining table and began preparing tea. "The war that we warned you about the last time we visited? It happened... And the people we fought against used Nesta and Elain to prove the power of the Cauldron to the Mortal Queens by giving them the gift of being fae. And over the past three months, we fought long, arduous battles- but we prevailed. Elain and Nesta killed their vile king together after-" Feyre paused. "After he killed father."

Your eyes went wide and the world seemed to come to a stopping point-

"Father is-" a choked sob cut you off, tears streaming down your face. "He's dead?"

Feyre nodded, and you collapsed onto the table, sobbing.

You knew that your sisters didn't care much for your father- always saw him as a failure after losing the family's fortune. But you? You had loved him completely, clinging to the one parent that you had the blessing to know. You were so young when your mother passed, not even six years old when illness took her. You hadn't remembered much of the life of luxury the family used to lead, and were content to live in the small hut on the edge of the village, tending to your little herb garden and cooking the meals after Elain had taught you.

And so, you hadn't had the feelings of resentment that your elder sisters had towards him, instead loving each wooden carving your father would make you every year for your birthday.

They even made it into the manor, resting on your bedside table in your room.

And... And now he's dead? Just like that?

You had no idea how much time had passed when Feyre's hand smoothed over your upper back, a small gesture of comfort.

"Let me show you to your room, Y/N," Feyre said gently, her strong arms peeling you off of the table and into an upright position.

You blinked your watery eyes at her and nodded, and let your sister lead you upstairs and into a small bedroom, decorated in pale blues.

You didn't even have the energy to change out of your dress before you collapsed onto the bed into a crying heap, curling in on yourself as you mourned for the father you would never get to see again, never get to say goodbye to.

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The next few months were... Trying, to say the least.

You felt out of place.

At all times. In any setting. Even just sitting with Feyre, you felt like you didn't belong.

It's not that you didn't try to fit in.

You joined Feyre for physical training. There, you felt like you were holding her back- no, you knew you were holding her back. After all, you're only a human.

You brought Elain tea and food at regular intervals, trying to keep her strength up as she stared out the window, lost in her thoughts. You knew she could talk, she just... chose not to with you. That's fine, after all, you can't relate to her situation much. She most likely wants a more understanding ear.

You attempted to talk with Nesta, even sit in the same space at her. But with each time you tried, her fiery gaze grew more and more intense, until you felt she may actually burn you alive with the powers Feyre had informed you she now possessed.

It's not that the inner circle wasn't kind to you, or that they mocked you for your human-ness.

It's that at every moment, you felt different.

When you had your first cycle while living amongst fae, you had went about it as normal. Until breakfast that morning.

Nesta had been glaring at you particularly strongly that morning, until she finally broke. "Why don't you take your iron-scented self upstairs until we finish eating, hmm? I'd rather not feel ill while having breakfast," she snipped at you, her eyes widening in delight when you blushed profusely.

You had excused yourself immediately.

Feyre had explained it away later, telling you that feelings are amplified when you're turned fae.

Nesta never was too fond of you, as she had always blamed you for your mother's death and the subsequent loss of the family fortune. She thought that having you just under a year after having Feyre was what made her body susceptible to the diseases and illnesses running rampant in the village that fateful year.

It's not as though I chose to be born so soon...

Worse even than knowing that everyone around you could smell when your cycle hit... was their hearing.

You had... a small crush on Cassian, to say the least.

It had all started when he was kind to you one day at training, having taken over for Feyre while she was away for court business. He corrected your form gently, giving pointers for how to protect yourself better from blows.

Each gentle touch made your heart race, and the kind praise he gave you made your face flush.

It's not that you wanted to like him.

You couldn't help it.

He was so handsome and kind, and could always find a way to make you laugh, or at least smile. And he chose to talk to you, which was more than you could say for the rest of the inner circle.

On the first Winter Solstice you spent in Velaris, Feyre came into your room before breakfast.

"I wanted to talk to you..." Feyre started gently, sitting down on your bed next to you while you braided your hair.

"About what?" You asked, tying off the braid and turning to face your sister.

"Cassian."

Your cheeks heated in an instant, pulse quickening just at the mention of his name. "What about him?"

"I know that... I know you have a crush, Y/N, but you need to let it go," Feyre said softly, a careful hand placed on your arm.

"I- so what if I like him? It's not like I'm acting on it-"

"That's not what it's about, Y/N, it's that he and Nesta are mates," Feyre explained.

Mates?

"Oh, I-" you paused, a renewed sense of heat filling your face. "I don't even really like him like that, Fey, I just... I can't help how I react around him," you whispered, hoping beyond hope that no one else was listening in.

"Just try, okay? It's for the best, really, Y/N. Fae and humans aren't really... Meant to be," Feyre said, eyes looking away from you.

Oh. Of course. You're just a little human, of course a fae wouldn't be interested in you...

So you did. You did your absolute best to get over your reactions to Cassian, to stuff any possible feelings down, down, down.

Nothing was enough, though. Not even knowing that Cassian and Nesta were gone for an entire week, consummating the mating bond.

When they returned, you were sitting in the living room of the River House, staring into the fire and drinking a cup of tea.

That was the one activity you did that bothered no one.

But the moment you saw Cassian's handsome face, a soft smile on it thrown your way, your heartbeat picked up, color rushing to your cheeks.

Nesta heard it- of course Nesta would pick out its traitorous rhythm, her eyes narrowing at you, hands raised, silver flames spouting from them, pointed at you-

"Nesta," Cassian sighed, grabbing your sister by the forearms and pulling her attention to him. "Nesta, my love, only you matter to me. Pay her no mind," Cassian soothed, and the flames Nesta had conjured went out, though the fire in her eyes burned hotter than ever as she glared at you.

"Stay away from him, you little whore," Nesta hissed at you before pulling Cassian out of the room and into the kitchen, where the rest of your family was gathered.

You simply pulled your legs up onto the couch in front of you, wrapping your arms around them as you went back to gazing into the fire.

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The Spring Equinox came and went, bringing with it the return of Lucien, Elain's mate and Feyre's dear friend.

You were like a ghost these days, drifting down hallways with no destination in mind, just the desire to not bother anyone further.

You excused yourself from all family dinners beyond those you were expected to attend around holidays, thinking it would be easier to bear than the constant feeling of not belonging.

It wasn't.

But it was preferable to the burning weight of Nesta's hatred, and Elain's new distaste for you.

Training with Feyre had stopped months ago, her schedule becoming more hectic as she let Rhys pass some of the burdens of ruling off to her shoulders.

That was fine. You just wanted Feyre to succeed.

So you drifted around aimlessly, sometimes leaving the River House to walk along the Sidra and gaze longingly at couples in tea houses, or meandering through bookstores, running your fingers along the spines and wishing you could read one.

You found yourself back in front of the fireplace on a particularly warm spring day, sipping a cup of tea once again. You would have preferred to take it outside, but Elain was out tending her garden, and you didn't want to bother the one bit of peace she seemed to have.

Not that she was alone, anyways, but your presence always seemed to grate on people's nerves, making them less comfortable.

Lucien was out with her, offering to help her garden as he did every day he stopped by. By now he might have already presented her with whichever courting gift he had picked for her today.

Loud footsteps and then-

Lucien.

He gave you a soft smile, one that you returned.

"How are you today, Y/N?" Lucien asked, as he had taken to doing the last few visits.

"I'm well, thank you Lucien. How are you? Any luck with Elain?"

"No luck with the gardening, though today she accepted my courting gift: a bag of flower bulbs from the Day Court," Lucien said with a proud smile.

"Congratulations! Now you know what will get you into her heart," you said with a grin, truly happy for the male in front of you. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Thank you, Y/N, I would love one," Lucien replied, summoning a cup of his own and letting you pour out a helping of the lovely floral blend you had made into it. "I hope she will be open to pursuing the mating bond, or at the very least being friends..." He sighed. "What do you think?"

You blinked at him, surprised. "Me?"

"Yes, you," Lucien said playfully. "You are my mate's sister after all."

"Oh, well... I don't... We don't really talk much anymore," you explained. "I'm sorry."

Lucien merely shook his head at your apology. "No, don't apologize, Y/N, I was just hoping you may have more insight than I do. But enough about me, what have you been up to recently?"

"Oh, not much," you replied, wracking your brain for any activities you had done recently to not seem more useless than you already are. "I, uhm... I tried out a new soup recipe a few days ago, everyone seemed to like it..."

"Really? What kind?" Lucien asked, and you could almost believe that he was interested.

"It was a creamy soup, with sausage, potatoes, and-"

"What are you doing?!" Elain hissed, a pair of pruning shears pointed in your direction. "First you go after Nesta's mate, and now mine?" She seethed, stalking towards the two of you. Elain walked past Lucien and held the shears up to your face. "Get out, you whore. Stay away from my mate!"

You were up in an instant, flying up the stairs and into your bedroom. You locked the door behind you, but you knew that if Elain wanted to get in, she could.

She would probably cut my head off with the shears...

You grabbed a spare blanket off of the chair in your room, as well as a pillow from your bed and made your way into the bathroom, where you curled into yourself in the bathtub.

No reason to make more of a mess when she does decide to kill you...

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Seven months.

Seven months and no one noticed that you had completely withdrawn, only leaving your bedroom when you absolutely had to.

No longer did you attempt to cook dinner for the inner circle. Not that they had ever liked what you made anyways...

No longer did you take your walks along the Sidra.

No longer did you sit in front of the fireplace, sipping tea and taking up as little space as possible.

But Bounty Day was coming up. The one holiday that you had cared was nearly here, and you wanted to celebrate it the way your family never had.

You wanted to roast a turkey and a boar, mash potatoes and sauté green beans. You wanted to try your hand at the delicious cheese and pasta dish Feyre adored from Sevenda's. You wanted to bake and bake and bake, until there was one of everyone's favorite desserts available.

You just needed permission. Which was why you were standing outside of Feyre's study door, hand poised to knock.

"Come in, Y/N," Feyre said from inside, loud enough that even your ears could hear her.

You peeked in sheepishly, eyes landing on where Feyre's hand was gliding across a sheet of paper, writing something out.

"Is this a bad time?" You asked quietly, wondering if you should have just stayed in your room.

Feyre sighed, and set down her quill. "No, not at all. Come in, sit, Y/N."

You did as she said, taking a seat in the low backed leather chair in front of her desk. "I... I wanted to run an idea by you...?"

"What kind of idea?" Feyre asked wearily.

"Well... Bounty Day is coming up, I thought... I thought it would be nice for all of us to celebrate. As a family."

Feyre blinked at you, her eyes losing some of their clarity for a few seconds, a look that you knew meant she was conversing with her mate. "I suppose that would be doable, Y/N, I'll make sure everyone knows. We would only be able to have it at the House of Wind, though, there's a few things that need to be done around here before we host a holiday."

A spark of hope lit up in your chest. "That would be perfect, Fey!"

Feyre smiled at you. "You can have Nuala and Cerridwen help you purchase everything, and with any preparation or cooking if you'd like."

"That would be very helpful, I'll make sure to ask them for their help and input."

"Good, I'm glad that that's settled. Did you need anything else from me?" Feyre had already picked her quill up again, continuing whatever thought you had stopped her in before.

"Oh, no. I'll be fine, thank you Feyre."

You felt... Dismissed. But at least you have permission to celebrate the day.

Over the next week, you worked tirelessly to get the ingredients you needed, even asking the meat vendors for a fae-palate worthy recipe.

You were sure your old recipes would be no good... Each one you had made for the inner circle was met with thinly veiled disgust.

And Sevenda's recipe- you were so thankful that the other female had taken pity on you and given you a copy of her recipe after you promised to share it with no one, ever.

Cerridwen had helped you read each recipe, both of you making sure that you knew the recipes by heart so you wouldn't have to rely on the mess of letters that you were no closer to understanding than you were before your family's status had changed.

Slowly but surely, you were putting together a feast that would put the one you had two years ago in the mortal lands to shame.

As you had hoped, you made a favorite dessert of each inner circle member, nine in total. You just hope that they don't go uneaten, or with only a small slice out of each one...

You woke at dawn that morning, pulling yourself into the bath and getting clean before you donned a cream colored dress, cut in the current human fashion. You had yet to wear a piece of Night Court fashion, feeling much more comfortable covered up, hidden.

Nuala shadow-walked you up to the House, a change of clothes in the bag over your shoulder. She only left when you insisted that you had the cooking covered and that you would be fine.

All day, you worked to bring Bounty Day to life around you, the delicious smells of roasting meats filling the House.

You hadn't felt so at peace in... A long while. Before your sisters were taken. Perhaps even before Feyre was taken...

Afternoon came and went in a blur of basting the turkey and turning the boar roast over the fire, your body flushed from the blazing heat as you worked.

As the final hour rolled around, you were able to change into your formal dress, a calf length pale pink wrap dress with long sleeves. You had picked this dress out months ago with Feyre, when she had insisted you needed to buy clothing of your own, and find things that you liked. This one, you liked. It was your favorite color, and the fabric was buttery soft under your fingers. You pulled on some slippers in a matching color and made your way back to the main hall, where you set the table meticulously, making sure everything was in its correct place.

Now for the most difficult part, in your opinion: transferring everything to the dining table without it cooling off too quickly.

You moved the food as fast as you were able, the turkey and boar left in the kitchen until the last moment, when you would have one of the males carve them for you.

Six o'clock rolled around, the time Feyre had agreed to, and no one had arrived. You poured yourself a small glass of wine and took a seat at the table, slowly sipping your drink as you waited.

And waited.

And waited.

The food was lukewarm now, at seven.

The anxiety pooling in your gut had you back in the kitchen, carving meat from bone until your hands were sore.

Still, no one had arrived when you brought the platters of meat onto the table, a feast laid out with no one to eat it.

At eight, you were exhausted. Exhausted from working yourself more than you had in months. Exhausted from hoping, only for those hopes to be extinguished so quickly. Exhausted from living in a place you don't belong.

You sighed and pushed yourself out of your chair. On tired legs, you made your way to the front door of the House.

No way in hell would you be accused of trying to steal someone's mate again, accused of lying in wait all night to seduce Cassian if you were to stay in one of the guest rooms.

So the ten thousand steps down was your only choice.

The first thousand was easy enough, though the wind had chilled you to the bone already, the night's icy fingers extending around your heart as well.

By the time you were halfway down, you sobbed with each step.

How? How could they have all forgotten? Even Feyre...

On numbed legs, you finished your descent. But where to now...?

The only place you could belong was the River House... The only place in Prythian that you could ever belong, as a human.

You sniffled and wrapped your arms tighter around yourself, attempting to keep any amount of warmth in your body as you carefully walked across the icy path along the Sidra.

The wind was bitter here too, but you had the babble of water to keep you company, the most pleasant friend you had.

The River House came in to view, lit up from within with bursts of faelight. The chimney let out pleasant puffs of smoke, a clear sign people are inside.

You stopped in your tracks.

Past Elain's garden and through the back window of the River House, you could see them.

All of them.

They were sat around the dining table, eating and drinking merrily together, enjoying each other's company.

And then there was you. Half-frozen from the weather and completely iced over inside.

You don't belong here.

Your body turned on its own, your mind so wrapped in itself that you hardly noticed where you were going.

All you knew was you needed out.

Out of this city.

Out of this life you were forced into.

Out of this family.

You need out.

Your feet carried you to the edge of Velaris, the exit of the city that lead to the wilds of the Night Court.

You don't belong in Prythian. You belong in the human lands.

The boundary of Velaris passed under your feet as you continued walking, hardly feeling anything at all now.

Your fingers were numb, as were your toes and bottoms of your feet. Your arms were nearing the same sensation.

Good.

Perhaps the numbness that had overtaken your heart would consume the rest of you.

The only person left who cared, doesn't care now.

You don't care, not anymore.

general taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @lilah-asteria @meritxellao

ILIPW taglist: @darkbloodsly

[haikyu-mp4]

Just Dance

word count; 1307 – f!reader, talk about sexual activities but no descriptions

Your neighbour, Kuroo Tetsurou, wasn’t a nuisance all the time. Mostly when he had friends over. It was never quite clear what they were doing, but when did men ever need a reason to be loud?

However, you had the worst day at work today and listening to two men knock into stuff, pant and groan was not making it any better. Usually, you assumed they watched sports or played video games, but you weren’t sure what it sounded like this time. This friend was the loudest one, you had met him a few times already after he eagerly introduced himself in the hallway.

Now, you had enough. You made your way across the hall and left three knocks on the door, tapping your foot as you waited. A low headache was squishing your brain and the hallway felt smaller than it really was.

“Hey, hey, hey! It’s the neighbour!” A shirtless Bokuto opened the door, and you shouldn’t be surprised that he was so sweaty after all those sounds. Still, it made you a bit flustered, so you looked past him and tried to remember your words when you noticed Kuroo come up behind him. He still wore his work shirt, but the top buttons were undone and the tie hung loosely around his neck. Sweat covered the part of his neck that you could see, and the shirt clung to him in the most attractive way.

He looked hot.

So now you were scrambling for words as you looked between the two, wondering if you weren’t Kuroo’s type at all. Had they been… playing around… with each other?

Kuroo didn’t seem to understand exactly why you were so flustered, leaning an arm on the door frame and throwing you that classic smirk that reeked of mischief and charm. “Hey, kitten. What’s up?”

You looked from one man to the other and back, repeating this process a few times before settling with looking at your feet. “I’m sorry for disturbing your… activities. I was just wondering if you could keep it down,” you asked, voice a little shaky when trying to choose a word to describe what you assumed they did.

Kuroo frowned, taking note of how your hand came up to massage your temple. “Don’t say sorry, we’ll try to keep it down. Are you okay?”

Bokuto looked between you two and wiggled his eyebrows at his best friend, making said friend give him a look that said not now, go away. He did as he was told, turning around and leaving, but not without letting him know “I’ll set up for another round.”

Your cheeks flushed a deeper red, taking a step back. “Don’t worry, you two have fun,” you said before turning around and running back to your own apartment, swiftly closing the door behind you.

Kuroo was left in confusion, staring at where you just stood and replaying the moment in his mind once or twice before the colour drained from his face. He turned to Bokuto with a hand in his hair and a dramatic gasp. “She thinks we’re fucking.”

Standing in the living room, Bokuto was stretching his thighs to get ready for their next round, a preview of Black Mamba by Aespa playing on the TV when he bursts out laughing at Kuroo’s realisation. They were practising Just Dance because Kenma and Akaashi realised they liked teaming up with each other and challenged the leftover duo for their next game night. Such an innocent activity turned into a devastating misunderstanding.

Thankfully, they seemed to get the message and kept the noise to a minimum for the next few hours, letting you take a much-needed nap. When you did wake up, the headache was less prominent and more of a foggy haze that you would try to fix by drinking a glass of water or two.

While you were gulping down the second glass, there was a knock on the door. You wipe your mouth with the back of your sweatshirt and put down the glass before walking to the door. When you were almost there, the person on the other side knocked again and you huffed out a “Coming, coming,” before flinging the door open.

There stood Kuroo, a crooked grin under his nose and two boxes of takeout food from the closest Chinese restaurant. The second the smell wafted into the apartment, your stomach growled loudly. You had gone straight to bed earlier without eating and the hunger didn’t hit you before now. “Sounds like I came just in time. Care to help me eat all this food?” You opened the door wider and gestured for him to come inside.

“Come right inside, kind sir.” Kuroo had put on a sweatshirt over his messed-up shirt and switched to sweatpants, but your eyes still stuck to him like he wasn’t wearing clothes at all. Maybe he likes men and women? That would still give you a chance!

The two of you had eaten dinner together several times before, and it always came with loud laughter and some silly movie like 21 Jump Street. This time, you were not being as loud. “Sorry about Bokuto. He gets pretty loud.” Kuroo suddenly said after swallowing a piece of chicken. You chuckled under your breath.

“I didn’t mean to intrude on your business,” you excused yourself, glancing at him only to look back at your food when you saw that he was staring at you like he wanted to say something he shouldn’t. Kuroo who was usually so good with words wasn’t sure how to approach this. He put his food on the coffee table in front of the couch you two shared.

“We were playing Just Dance,” he blurted out, laughing nervously like he wasn’t quite sure. You stopped eating, almost spitting your food back out before forcing it down and putting the rest on the table like Kuroo did. Holding your hands out between the two of you, you made a weird face.

“You don’t have to lie, Kuroo.”

The man finally gave up, laughing loudly as he couldn’t quite believe he was in this situation. “In many ways, I wish I was lying! Bokuto and I were challenged to a Just Dance competition with our friends this weekend and wanted to practice.”

You started laughing with him, one hand covering your mouth. “Are you serious? I thought you guys had sex!” you admitted, letting your shoulders relax as Kuroo seemed to do the same.

“I know!” he groaned. Your laughter slowly blended into each other and you were left with soft grins on your faces. You licked your lips and leaned back, realising you had been leaning forward on the couch.

Kuroo seemed to do the opposite, leaning forward with one hand supporting him on the couch between you two while the other went to the back of your neck, quickly pulling your lips to his so he didn’t have to figure out what to say. You understood loud and clear and returned the emotions as you moved across the couch to straddle his lap instead.

That weekend, you laughed even more from Kuroo’s couch as you watched the guys dance. They were all pretty nice, and you were happy to get to know them. Kenma even asked you to do a duo with him, and Akaashi complained that he was replaced when you two beat everyone’s scores.

Everyone was having fun as Kuroo wrapped an arm around your waist, making some pouty comment about you not dancing with him yet and you just kissed the pout off his face followed by an evil laugh.

“Can you believe I thought you and Bokuto were fucking?” you giggled.

Why was it suddenly so quiet?

Oh, everyone was staring at you. They didn’t tell Akaashi and Kenma about that. How funny!

masterlist

[wedgiestoriescollective]

The Senior: Years Later

Hello all! Before I start the next story in my “The Senior” series, I wanted to share that since I began writing, uploading, and reuploading these stories on here some things have changed. While I have been sharing my experiences with wedgies on here, these stories thus far have been about my experiences with them as a child and teenager. This didn’t initially bother me because I was sharing and, in a way, reliving these memories through my writing. But it bothers me now. 

Had my experiences with Chase concluded while we were both underage, I would have just stopped writing these stories all together. Yet this is not the case. So, this next part (and the final part following that) will take place four years after the previous story. When we were both consenting adults. I hope you enjoy,

                 

I was sitting at home alone. Well, I was sitting alone in the house where I grew up. I was visiting my parents during a short summer break from the musical theater conservatory I was attending. I hadn’t been home in over ten months. The conservatory went by a unique school schedule, so the week I was home didn’t coincide well with my parent’s work. As both are teachers, they still had school. It was nice being away from my classes, rehearsals, and at my part-time work in Times Square retail. So, things were busy. I was on the couch, a bag of pretzels in my lap as I watched some current popular TV show. My phone vibrated.

“Hey”, the text read.

I immediately recognized the phone number. I had deleted his contact multiple times. I even blocked the number once. Yet, those numbers were as familiar as his name.

“Hey”, I text back.

I pause the TV, redirecting my attention to my phone. I pushed the bag of pretzels aside. The text bubbles (a new IOS feature at the time) visualized three dots, Chase writing a response.

“I saw you were in town. How have you been? Chase texted.

At this time, it had been years since we had communicated with each other. And even longer since we’d last seen each other. Last time I had seen him, I was a Junior, and he was in town on Spring Break from his college in Colorado. We’d met up at my place and almost gotten caught by my parents. We quickly averted detection by sneaking out through the garage, but the stress of the moment gave me pause. Had me so scared of being discovered as anything other than “appropriate” or “normal” that I had (again) cut Chase out of my life.

“I am in town, I’ve been pretty good” I type on my phone, before deleting it.  

“Yeah, it’s been chill”.

I send the text and quickly place my phone face down as far away on the couch from me as I can reach. The phone immediately vibrates, but I force myself to remain still. The similar pattern presenting itself. He texts, I reply, he texts, I reply. Then minutes go by with nothing. Those minutes used to torture me, even when sometimes those minutes turned to hours, or the rest of the night. I promised myself I wouldn’t obsess over this again. That I was better than this. I remained still for just over five minutes before gently reaching over to my phone.

“Give any wedgies in the big apple yet?” Chase texted.

He skipped passed the unnecessary formalities. I hadn’t wedgied any guys in NYC at that point. There wasn’t any time, and I had my own revelations I was working through. Within a month of living in NYC, I had come to understand and accept that I was so far in the closet that I found Christmas presents. I had started trying things on in my new “out” life. Mostly through chats on dating apps or…. well, that’s all I did. I was out to my classmates at school, but back home I slipped back into the guy I was before I moved to NYC. Chase had been out for years by this point.

“I haven’t, too busy! Lol =(“ I reply.

“I have been thinking about the one’s you’d give me.” Chase texts.

“Really?” I reply.

“Yeah, it was hot”. Chase replies.

I politely ignored the fact that I was sporting blushed cheeks. Also, my hard on. I was ignoring that too. My phone vibrated.

“Wanna come over? I can pick you up.”

I looked at the phone in disbelief. After all that we’d been through. The shame that I felt and sometimes still have. The times that we’d avoid each other at all costs. Here he was again, offering to pick me up. To spend time with him. To wedgie him. It’s as if the closeted, hidden high school version of myself peeled away. I stood up and hopped in the shower, but not before typing and sending my response.

“Sure, you know where I live.”

When I opened Chase’s front car door, he looks at me and it was simultaneously as if time hadn’t past while there were also apparent timely differences. Both of us now sported stubble, mine being closer to a beard. Yet, he still had that stupid plush dice dangling from his windshield. We chatted. I don’t remember about what. It was small talk, but I do remember there was a moment when he said something along the lines of “maybe you can’t do that, but you can give a good wedgie”. I remember how my hard on never subsided while sitting in his car. It’s funny what remains of your memories over time.

Chase pulls into the garage of his house. I had never been here before. He gets out of the car and nonchalantly enters his home, knowing I’d follow. There was a black lab that excitedly greeted me. I followed Chase into his room, and he closed the door behind him.

Chase’s room was the standard expected room of a teenager. Sports posters on the wall. His bass on a stand in the corner. A pile of clothes scattered on the floor. Chase noticed me looking at the pile.

“Find any underwear in there?” Chase asked.

“A couple” I reply.

Chase walks up to the front of his bed, taking off his grey zip-up and then tossing it on the ground. He stares at me a for a second as I stare back at him. He’s wearing a slim fitted light grey t-shirt and jeans. Chase then turns around, his back now facing me. I remember feeling awkward standing in that silence. Like I didn’t know how to fill it. We used to have so much to talk about. There were still things that should be said. Yet, I remained silent, lost in where to start.

“Do it” Chase said quietly. Almost as if through an exhale of breath.

His words snapped me out of my haze as if we were in high school flirting in our distant way. Our words and jokes that were just between us. Because no one, not even each other could ever know our true desire for the other. Except, we weren’t in high school anymore, and both of us since then had come out to our close friends, but more importantly to ourselves. That layer of shame was no longer relevant nor present. Nothing was stopping me.

“Do what?” I teasingly ask, taking a couple steps closer to him.

“Give me a wedgie. Please” and then he said my name. I don’t know why, but I found that hot. I was now directly behind him. It was again as if time hadn’t passed. Like I’d done plenty of times before, I lifted his shirt and fingered my way through the waistband of his jeans which also donned a brown leather belt. Once my fingers obstructively found the underwear, I made the waistband of them visible with a gentle tug. The underwear’s black waistband donned the word Hanes stitched multiple times in skinny white letters. The fabric underneath the waistband was dark grey.

I looked forward and clocked my own eyes in the reflection of the full body mirror to the right of Chase’s nightstand. I then locked eyes with Chase who was also staring at me through the mirror. It was like old times. I sharply tugged on the Hanes waistband and Chase arched his head and groaned as simultaneously the leg holes of the underwear came in full display above his jean’s waistband. That was new.

“I was curious” Chase said smirking slightly at me as I had him up on toes as held his underwear up in my grasp. Then I lift upward on my toes almost lifting Chase off the ground by his light grey briefs. My cock is at full attention now, obviously visible through the front of my black joggers. As I continue tugging at Chase’s underwear, on the occasion tug the bulge would briefly drag or rest on Chase’s ass. He knew where I was at.

I continue tugging, alternating between slow gradual pulls and quick pulsating tugs. On each pull, Chase varied his sound responses. Some were groans, quick exhales, and my personal favorite the occasional “ooh” or “ahh”. I got the grey briefs all the way up to his neck at the highest but I would then mess around with this wedgie by snapping the briefs against his back multiple times. I would also tug while pushing him forward only then to pull him back towards me, inching the underwear further in his butt. I at this point have never wedgied Chase in briefs. This made it exciting and new in a way I couldn’t begin to explain at the time, but thinking back on it I was likely excited by the arousal of it all.

The grey briefs were bunched, leg holes and all were above his jeans. I reach my hands in front of Chase, gently moving my hands towards his belt buckle. I slowly start navigating the belt buckle loose and I unbutton his jeans. I then abruptly pants Chase, leaving his wedgied ass full on display. Chase turns his head back towards me, smirking.

“Having fun?” He asks as he slowly pulls his briefs out of his ass and back into place.

I then lifted Chase toward me by his hips, so that his neck was right up against my face. I kiss his neck. Chase moans. I kiss his neck again, but this time as Chase moans I kiss him on the lips. Our first kiss. This right here was all I had ever wanted. His lips on mine.  He didn’t pull away. He turned around wrapping his arms around my shoulder as we continued kissing. His tongue quickly made its way into my mouth, and mine in his. I don’t remember gripping his waistband as we continued kissing, but when I opened my eyes for the first time as Chase was kissing my neck, I saw myself through Chase’s mirror, with his grey briefs lodged up his ass so hard that besides the fabric in my grasp there was no indication Chase was even wearing underwear. It was lodged that far up his perfect round ass. I tugged again sharply with my right hand while my left hand pulled Chase’s head back by his hair.

For a moment, we both simply stared at each other. No longer seeing the scared kids we were years before, but instead seeing ourselves as the men that we are. Men that are kind, yet long for another man’s attention, lust, maybe even love. Yet, in that moment we just remained present. In our own kinky way.

The kissing and the wedgies continued. I even let him briefly tug my blue Jockey boxer briefs softly up my butt, but he remained eager for his flossing. The only thing keeping me from ripping his briefs clean off him was the continued kissing, it was proving to be a weakness of mine. Over the next couple of minutes, Chase kissed his way down my body. From my lips to my neck, to my nipples, and further down my stomach. Chase was on his knees now, alternating between looking at my throbbing bulge and up at me. He looked so beautiful looking up at me, as if I could solve all his life’s problems. Chase slowly then lowered my black joggers off me while still looking at me. Pre cum was already staining the front of my blue boxer briefs as Chase lowered those too. This wasn’t his first time seeing my cock. Back in our high school days we dared each other to hold the others cock in the car for a minute. But this was certainly different. Especially because this time Chase was licking the pre cum off the tip of my cock before putting the rest of it in his mouth.

I audibly moaned as my cock was blown for the first time, overwhelmed by the sensation of it. The newness of it. The excitement of it. All of it felt like a lock was finally clicking open. My whole body recoiled when Chase took a moment to merely tickle my cock with small kisses. He’d told me he was hooking up quite a lot in college in the text exchanges we shared when we chatted briefly after he came out. Back when I was still so scared to accept that part of myself. Before I ghosted him.

“I always thought that you had a hot cock” Chase said looking at me.

I looked down at him, feeling aristocratic as I noticed his grey briefs still lodged up his ass. Chase went back at my cock again; except this time, I cupped the back of his head with my left hand, gently pushing his head inward so my entire cock could face fuck its way down his throat. My other hand between thrusts reached down Chase’s back to grip the grey briefs. As I alternated between thrusting my body forward and pulling on the underwear, I felt closer to myself. As if I was about to descend on the first drop on a roller coaster. I felt drops of sweat trickle off my chin. I looked down then, only seeing Chase’s brown hair and his briefs gripped in my hand halfway up his back, lodged up his ass.

It was then when I remembered the time he yelled at me after we got caught by a police officer. We were rubbing each other’s cocks in an empty parking lot with sunshades over the window of Chase’s car. How scared we both were. How we reacted differently. And then, how when I was a Junior in high school when I saw he had posted a picture on Instagram with a guy. A boyfriend. How betrayed I felt. How exposed that post made me feel. But also, how lonely it made him feel as well.

I gently let go of Chase’s briefs and removed myself from his mouth, pretending like I heard my phone vibrate. I made up something about my mom wondering where I was and that she needed me home. Chase understood, we dressed, and he drove me home. When we got back to my house, there were no other cars in the driveway.

“She wanted me to be ready to go by 4”. I said, trying to talk my way out of the lie.

Chase seemed like he understood, but I must give him more credit. It’s possible that Chase knew I was lying. Still, before I could get out of the car he stopped me. Gently his hand clasped into mine. Again, something new. He leaned in and he kissed me gently. For a moment, I succumbed to it. The desire and lust I still very much had from the past hour’s activities. Tongues touched. He still grasped my hand. And then as if I teleported, I was locking my front door, and he was driving away.

I ran to the bathroom, stripped off my clothes, and stepped in the shower where I preceded to go into my usual, comfortable, one-man routine of pleasing myself. I came within minutes recounting it all. Moaning at full volume as I came. My cum, shooting towards the top of the screen door in the shower, before then slowly trickling downward. As the hot water continued running down my hair and body, I felt both euphoric and lonely. Hoping that the phone would vibrate with a text from Chase saying he came or that he wanted to meet up again. Yet, I sat alone under the running water knowing that it wouldn’t.

[kuzure-collapse]

Hi! So, to start off with, I'm absolutely obsessed with Loser's Bromance! Genuinely, I think it's one of the best Quote stories I've read in a while (and I read a lot). Please do not EVER give up on it 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Secondly, I was wondering what type of yandere each of them are? I have theories but only for two-three of the characters. Who would go as far as to kill someone for mc? Who would kidnap mc?

Thirdly (sorry if this paragraph comes off as impatient or rude), what's your updating schedule?? There's been times where I've been reading something then the author doesn't update for months before updating once more and I was wondering if you're one of those types of authors or not? It's totally fine if you are, no judgement here, but I just need to know so I'm not waiting around in anticipation for half a year 😭

Sorry if this is a big ask!!

thank you! i'm glad i could meet your standard. i don't plan to stop writing it, not until I've reached the ending i drafted.

this is a soft-yandere story, so nothing too crazy here. no one's getting kidnapped. maybe yanagi is killing people, but none of the main cast will be getting killed off. the yandere will mostly be shown in subtle hints at each character's obsession. the most yandere would probably be at the end, when yanagi decides to go off the rails.

---

i'll explain how each character displays their yandere traits in the story:

Tomohiro:

likes leaving marks on mc, like bruises or scratches from their judo practices

he would bite if he could. wants to show that mc is his

Kotose:

mc is nice to everyone else, but only bickers with kotose. that must mean that mc likes kotose, right?

likes collecting items that belong to mc, just small things that he doesn't think mc would notice

likes to think of how mc would react if he caught him

Satsuma:

opposite of kotose, he likes giving items to mc

first food, then the ankle brace. what's next, big hoodies?

similar to tomohiro in that it shows mc belongs to satsuma

Yumeki:

likes drawing and taking pictures of mc, treating him like a muse

whether or not mc is aware

the drawings often make mc look better than he really is

wants to be useful to mc as much as he can

Yanagi:

mc puts his life on the line to help yanagi, that means he cares for yanagi the most, right?

his phone is filled with video recordings and photos of mc's embarrassing moments. enjoys humiliating mc in front of others with them

eventually becomes more than a joke and he starts taking candids, some even turn out good

watching the vids on his own and thinking "he's so fucking stupid haha what a loser" with a goofy smile on his face

i wont spoil what i have planned for his yandere phase. but if you've kept up with my earlier journal entries on quotev, you'll find a few one-shot pieces i wrote about him

---

my goal for an updating schedule is every Sunday EST, Monday at worst. at the start i had chapters prewritten and would post consistently every week, but as chapters got longer, the time it took to post grew as well.

occasionally i'll go on a break to focus on life. I'm not the type of author that can update multiple fics at once, or even multiple times a week. i prefer my chapters to be at least 5 pages long and proofread many times over. sometimes my chapters get as long as 15 pages because i don't feel like it makes sense to split them up.

people praise my work but not many understand that the quality comes from how much time i put into it. while i could update more often, it wouldn't be a product I'm proud of. even chapters that I've worked on for months have me feeling iffy before i hit publish.

hope this clears things up! i don't particularly care if people hound for updates (i brush them off anyway), but i wouldn't recommend doing it too often since some authors find it annoying. most people prefer receiving nice comments like these. i personally like when people ask questions or make theories about the story. those comments are much more motivating compared to "pls come baccck" or "pls updattttee"

[andvys]

We'll burn the sky | part sixteen

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of drugs and alcohol, loss of a parent, mostly fluff, a few hints at steddie x reader

Pairings: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Fem!Rockstar!Reader | slight Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader | slight Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Word count: 7k+

Chapter summary: Back on tour, you and Eddie spend more time with each other again and get a nice surprise on New Years Eve.

Author's note: thank you for the help as always @mysticmunson <3 & @aftermidnightwriting I will definitely use your amazing idea with Dustin in the arcade later on in the story!

Series Masterlist

-

You have dreaded this day ever since the article was released. 

Going back on tour should fill you with joy and excitement but instead it fills you with dread and anxiety. Now that the truth about your dad is out, you can already imagine how awful the following weeks or even months will be. The paparazzis and journalists will be all over the place, throwing awful words and questions at you that you know will upset you even further. You are not ready for that, you don’t think that you will ever be. 

You always did everything to keep the truth a secret but now it’s all out in the open. 

You don’t even care about the things that they have said about you. They upset you, sure but you can ignore it and move on from that, you don’t let it get to you. Having made up stories about you comes with being in the music industry, especially since you’re the only woman in the band. Lies and rumors will always be created.

After three days of being stuck in Eddie’s trailer, you were now able to go back on the road, since the storm had passed. You loved those three days, you got along so well with Wayne, the man has earned a place in your heart. And Eddie, it was so nice to be around him like that, to fall asleep next to him only to wake up in his arms again. 

“It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart.” He whispered to you this morning when you voiced your concern about the tour. “You have me, I won’t leave your side. We’ll get through this together, okay?” 

Now you’re here, standing by the tour bus, saying goodbye to Wayne. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a warm hug. 

“Look after yourself, alright kiddo?” 

You chuckle, nodding at his words, “I will.” 

“Don’t worry Wayne, she’s in good hands,” Eddie says from behind you. 

Wayne squeezes your arms before you pull away, you see the stern look in his eyes as he stares at him, “she better be, Eds.” 

On Christmas day, Wayne had confronted you about your relationship with his nephew while Eddie had gone to take a shower. 

“What’s going on with you and my boy?” Wayne asked while you were sitting on the couch with drinks in your hands. 

“What do you mean?” You asked nervously. 

He only chuckled, eyes flickering with amusement, “I may be old but I’m not blind, kid,” he said, “I see the way you look at each other, there’s clearly something. But there’s also pain in your eyes,” he mumbled, pausing to take a deep breath, “he hurt you didn’t he?” 

You looked down as your eyes flickered with sadness. You didn’t want to talk badly about Eddie or your relationship to someone that means everything to him. 

“It’s alright, you can talk to me, if you want.” 

You hesitated for a moment. 

“I just– I really love him.” 

His eyes softened at your admission, a small smile appearing on his face. 

“But he never told me about Chrissy.” 

He raised his eyebrows, eyes flickering with shock, he brought his hand up to his face, cupping his cheek as he stared at you, “oh boy..” 

“We weren’t together or anything but we were with each other all the time, he told me about you and Steve and his other friends, he told me everything, he just never mentioned her,” you explained, “b-but it’s okay, we talked about it, he opened up to me about their relationship, I guess I understand why he never told me about her..” 

Wayne sighed, sympathy crossed his face. With just a single glance at you, he saw the look in your eyes when you looked at Eddie, you are in love with him. He could only imagine how hurt and heartbroken you were. 

But he can also see the way Eddie looks at you, he is in love with you. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” you smiled, “we’re okay now.” 

Wayne was quiet for a moment, he stared at you deep in thought and then a smile tugged at his lips. 

“I hope you know that he cares about you, a lot. I think yesterday proved it, when he stormed in like a mad man, that boy was ready to go through the storm to find you,” he paused, “you make him happy, you know? You always did. He called me a lot and all he ever talked about was you. I hope you can give him a second chance ‘cause if there’s someone who deserves it, it’s him.”

“She will always be,” Eddie smiles as he walks towards his uncle to hug him as well, “I’m gonna miss you so much, old man.” 

Wayne chuckles, “you’ll see me on Saturday again.” 

Eddie’s eyes light up at his words, “right, you got the VIP tickets and everything,” he chuckles, winking at you, “you can bring a date.” 

Wayne scoffs, “stop that.” 

You both laugh at him and his eye roll. 

“I gotta go or I’ll be late for the interview,” Wayne says as he looks at his watch. 

“Oh,” you say excitedly, “good luck! I just know they’re gonna hire you.” 

Wayne gives you a smile and Eddie chuckles, “of course they will, I put in a good word for you. The night shifts are soon to be over.” 

“Hopefully, I got my fingers crossed.” 

After one more hug and one last goodbye, Wayne leaves just as Johnny, Gareth and Jeff arrive. 

While the other two still look tired, Gareth is already sporting a big smile and a happy look on his face. 

“Alright ladies, are we ready to rock ‘n roll again, or what?” Gareth exclaims excitedly as he walks towards the tour bus with a bag in his hand. 

Jeff rolls his eyes, “how many coffees did you have this morning?” 

“Just three.” 

“It’s 10 am!” 

“Exactly.” 

You missed their banter and you missed them. 

The cold morning air is crisp, much more snow is covering the ground, now it truly looks like a winter wonderland. 

You put your hands in your warm pockets, looking around the empty street of Hawkins one last time, hoping to come back. The town has grown on you, something about it made you feel at home. Maybe it was just Eddie and Wayne, your new friends and the safe feeling you got from this place or maybe you just always craved a part of this, peace, safety and a family. 

Eddie is watching you with a smile on his face, he knows what you are thinking. He is thinking about it too. 

He never really liked this town, well, maybe it was only the people that he didn’t like but you made it more bearable, even when you only spent a few moments together in the whole week you were here. Still, the moments that you did spend together, made him happier. 

Maybe one day, he can come back here with you, to stay here. 

“You’re not leaving without saying goodbye, are you?” 

Both you and Eddie turn around with smiles on your faces. You’ve said goodbye to everyone last night, yet most of Eddie’s and your friends are here now. 

Robin is the first to approach you and wrap her arms around you. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much, rockstar,” she says as she squeezes you tightly. 

You smile as you hug her back, meeting Steve’s eyes, your smile widens when he waves at you. 

“I’m gonna miss you too, Robin. You should come to Chicago on Saturday, Steve’s coming too.” 

“Oh trust me, I’m gonna be there,” she says, grinning at you as she pulls away, “I can’t wait to see you on the big stage.” 

“And what about me? Are you excited to see me?” Eddie asks her as he ruffles Dustin’s hair who slaps his hand away in annoyance. 

She scrunches her face up, shrugging, “eh, not really,” she teases. 

He squints his eyes at her, “you love me, Robin,” he grins. 

“No, I really don’t.” 

Shaking your head at them, you walk towards Steve. 

“Hi,” you whisper. 

“Hi,” he smiles, “you ready to go back on tour?” 

You shake your head, “not really but it’s gonna be fine,” you shrug. 

He nods, looking over your shoulder and at his friends, he reaches for your hand and pulls you away, leading you behind the tour bus. 

He blushes as he runs his fingers through his hair, letting go of your hand, he reaches into the pocket of his coat, “I uh– I got you something.” 

You raise your eyebrows, eyes flashing with curiosity. 

“I got it a few days ago, before the whole thing at the trailer,” he says quietly, “I know we already exchanged presents and all but I wanted to wait with this.” 

“Why?” 

He shrugs as he scratches the back of his neck. 

Your eyes soften as he hands you the little box, you glance into his eyes before you look down at the present, you open it to find a pretty necklace, a pendant with a bird on it, it’s wings are open. It’s beautiful. You touch it with your fingertips, a soft smile appearing on your face. 

“Birds stand for freedom, you know?” 

You pick the necklace out of the box and look up at him, smiling, “yeah?” 

He nods. “You’re free too, just remember that you can do anything you want, you can always dream bigger, you can go wherever you want, it’s your life, you get to choose what will happen.” 

Your chest warms at his words. 

“You’re cute, you know that right?” You chuckle. 

He shrugs, jutting his lip out as he smirks, “yeah, yeah. I know.” 

You can see the blush on his cheeks, the nervous look in his eyes. 

“I love it, Steve.” 

“You do?” He asks as his eyes lighten up. 

You nod, “it’s beautiful, thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” he smiles. 

“Help me put it on?” You ask as you hold the necklace out to him. He whispers a small ‘of course’ as he takes it from your hand. You turn around, standing with your back towards him. You move your hair to the side as he moves his arms around you, placing the silver necklace around your neck.

“That better be my lucky charm now,” you joke as you look down at the necklace with a smile on your face. You turn around to face him again. 

“It will be,” he winks. 

“I’m gonna miss you, Steve.” 

His gaze softens at your words. 

“I’m gonna miss you too,” he whispers as he opens his arms for you. You step towards him, falling into his embrace, you lay your head on his chest and wrap your arms around him. He holds you tightly and closes his eyes. 

He finds himself wishing that he didn’t have to say goodbye. You have grown so much on him, you became a part of his life.

“Maybe I should put you in my suitcase and take you with me,” you joke as you pull away from him. 

“I don’t think I’ll fit in there, honey,” he laughs, eyes twinkling as they lock with yours, “you can still hire me as your stylist,” he jokes as he puts his hand on your back, leading you back to the others. 

“Yeah, maybe I should,” you chuckle. 

“You better come back to Hawkins again, y/n,” Dustin says as he walks towards you with a grin on his face, “we didn’t even get to go to the arcade together!” He frowns. 

“Next time, alright?” You smile as you pull the younger boy into a hug, “I’m gonna come visit after the tour and we can go to the arcade together.” 

“We better!” 

You hug Lucas and Max next, squeezing both of them tightly before you press a kiss to their cheeks, almost bursting into laughter when they turn towards each other with wide eyes and excited looks on their faces. They squeal when you turn away from them, missing the amused look on Robin’s face as she stares at them. 

Eddie pulls away from Steve’s hug, saying something to him that you can’t make out. His brown eyes meet yours and he smiles, “ready?” 

You nod. 

Eddie waits for you to get on the tour bus first but you turn towards Steve one more time. He raises his brows, a smile tugging at his lips as you approach him one more time. Reaching your hands out, you cup his cheeks and stand on your tippy toes, pulling him towards you, you kiss his cheek, leaving a lipstick mark on his skin. 

Robin and Dustin chuckle in the back, their laughter only getting louder when they see Eddie’s eye roll. 

Steve chuckles as well, blushing at your sweet action. 

He cups your cheeks now, giving you a big kiss on the cheek too, just barely missing your lips. 

“Alright,” Eddie rolls his eyes, shaking his head, “let’s go, sweetheart.” 

You and Steve giggle at each other, he ruffles your hair, “take care of yourself, yeah?” 

“I will.” 

“I’m always one phone call away,” he whispers. 

“I know,” you smile as you squeeze his hand before you step away. 

“Goodbye Stevie.”

His eyes flash with bittersweet sadness, though he will see you in a week again, he knows things will be different. This is a different goodbye.

You pick out the necklace from beneath your shirt, reaching for the pendant, you give it a kiss. 

“Goodbye Stevie.”

He smiles at your action, eyes following you as you step on the tour bus, his smile falls a little. 

“Goodbye honey,” he whispers. 

Eddie watches him closely, their conversation is still deep on his mind. 

Both men look at each other, a mutual understanding flashing in their eyes. 

“Take care of her.” 

Eddie nods, “of course.” 

-

“You know, I missed this.” 

“Hotel rooms?” 

Eddie chuckles, stealing a fry off your plate, he dips it in ketchup before eating it, “hotel rooms with you.” 

You smile, watching as he licks his lips, missing the ketchup on the corner of his mouth. You reach your hand out towards his face, wiping the condiment off, you look into each other’s eyes as you bring your thumb back to your lips, licking it clean. 

A blush takes over his face and he looks down with a smile on his face. 

“I missed it too.” 

“Yeah? You did?” 

You nod, humming at his question. 

Neither of you want to think of the few lonely nights you spent without each other after the night in Cincinnati. It feels wrong to even think of the moments you weren’t with each other.

Eddie can look at you with the same happiness in his eyes as before everything. You are here with him, wearing his shirt again. Your hair is still wet from the shower you took earlier, the necklace that Steve got you, hanging around your neck. 

The first day back on tour was mostly spent on the tour bus and the hotel. Rob, your tour manager won’t be here until tomorrow morning. 

The following days you will be busy with interviews and photoshoots before the concert on Saturday. Eddie isn’t sure if you are ready for it but he will be by your side, every step of the way. 

“What’re you thinking about?” You ask as you push your half eaten plate of food away from you, reaching for your coke, you take a sip before placing it back on the tray. 

“How do you know I’m thinking about something?” He asks as he eats the rest of his burger. 

“You always have that look in your eyes,” you explain, eyes flashing with amusement, “and you’re a nervous eater, you always scarf down the food when you’re deep in thought, which you just did,” you chuckle. 

He furrows his brows, chewing his food slowly, he tilts his head. 

He steals your coke, drinking half of it which you don’t even seem to mind. You’ll share everything with him. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” you breathe. 

“Huh, I never realized,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his neck, “I guess you’re right. I’m always reaching for snacks when I feel stressed but then again, I always think about food.” 

“A real taurus,” you chuckle. 

He laughs but nods in agreement. 

“So… what were you thinking about?” You ask again. 

He chews on his bottom lip for a moment, “I don’t wanna ruin the mood right now.” 

Eying the concern on his face and the uncertainty in his eyes, you already know what this is about. 

“It’s about the article isn’t it?” You ask. 

He sighs, nodding. 

“What about it?” 

“I-I just, I’m worried about you,” he says as he scoots closer to you, reaching his hand out, he grabs it and places it in his, “the journalists, the press… the fucking paparazzis will be everywhere, it’s gonna be brutal, sweetheart.” 

Yes, they will be but you will be fine, you have to be. 

“It’s okay, Eddie,” you whisper, “I’m not gonna cry, break down or get angry at them, I won’t give them that satisfaction. They asked about my dad before, remember?” 

He nods. He remembers that interview, the way you tensed up and looked like you were actually on the verge of a breakdown. 

“It was just a rumor, back then no one even knew anything about it,” you shrug, “this can be treated like a rumor as well, some asshole ‘made’ that shit up about my dad. Once they see that it has no effect on me, they’ll leave me alone. There’s no proof, no one was there that night, no one except for me.” 

His eyes flash with sadness at the mention of that night. You opened up more about that night, telling him about what you came home to. 

“They talked shit about me before, remember that one article they wrote about me?” 

He nods, rolling his eyes in anger. 

He was so focused on you, he didn’t think about how it would affect him. His first priority is you. He wants to protect you, be there for you and take care of you. But he also knows that the following weeks or even months will be a challenge for him as well, he will deal with anger, too much of it. Anger for all the people that try to harm you in any way. 

“Then it’s nothing new,” you shrug, trying to play it cool, “sure, it’ll be a lot and I can already hear the disrespectful questions from all those asshole journalists and paparazzis but fuck it, you either ignore them or you… take it easy.” 

“Take it easy?” He scoffs, “how am I supposed to take it easy when they’ll attack you?” 

“Eddie, they won’t attack me,” you sigh. 

Your gaze softens, your heart flutters in his chest as you look into his eyes. He cares so much about you, it’s something you never realized before Christmas. 

“Something that I learned is, you gotta act like you don’t give a fuck about anything, you gotta shrug things off, play it cool, throw sarcastic comments at them, maybe mean ones too, anything to make them leave you alone. My dad taught me that, it always worked out for him. Once they realize that they can’t use a single fucking thing against you, they will get bored.” 

Eddie blinks as he stares at you. 

“That’s what I’m gonna do and it’s what I want you to do. It’s about taking care of yourself, protecting yourself, Eddie.” 

You are strong, so much stronger than him. You allowed yourself to grieve, you allowed yourself to break down and cry and for a moment you were broken, maybe you still are but you got up again. 

“Don’t let them see how broken you are, it’s what they want. You put on a mask in front of these fuckers and you only take it off in front of people who truly care about you. You can cry and be angry but not in front of people who wanna see that.” 

Eddie remembers the way you put that mask on, after you had just found out about Chrissy, your heart broke, you were angry and sad and yet you managed to hide those feelings in front of strangers. No matter how hurt you were, you were always able to hide it. 

“And honestly? I’m more concerned about who spilled.” 

“Who knew about your dad?” Eddie asks, furrowing his brows. 

You look down, staring at his hand, you play with the new rings on his fingers, the ones that you got for him. 

“Sam, Rob and my mom. That’s all, I didn’t even tell my friends,” you mumble, “it obviously wasn’t Sam or Rob, so I guess that just leaves my mom.” 

There is something you are not telling him, he can see it on your face and he can hear it in your voice. The room falls silent, the candle light flickers. Eddie rubs circles into your skin, staring at you with curiosity in his eyes. 

“Who else knew?” 

You hesitate. Your eyes meet his again. 

“Sweetheart–”

“Chrissy and Jason knew.” 

He draws back a little as his eyes widen, his lips parting in shock. 

“W-What?” 

You take a deep breath. 

“Yeah uh– that night at the hideout, Chrissy followed me out to talk, then Steve and Jason followed us out as well. She just dropped that on me, in front of Steve too, I didn’t want anyone to know, Eddie. At first, I didn’t know how they found out but I kinda figured that my mom told them.” 

“What the fuck,” Eddie mumbles as his eyes flash with anger. 

“She is the only one who could’ve told them,” you frown, “I called her, she was weird, weirder than usual so… and I honestly don’t think that it was Chrissy, if anything it was her sleazeball boyfriend and her bitchy mom.” 

“You don’t think it was Chrissy?” Eddie asks with a confused look on his face, “she had it out for you.” 

You sigh, shaking your head, “I talked to her the night before Christmas Eve, I was at the diner and she was there too..” 

“Jesus,” he sighs, running his fingers through his hair, he clenches his jaw, eying you in concern. He can already imagine what kind of things she has said to you, “did she–”

“She was.. nice,” you mumble, “we talked normally. I don’t think it was her, I have a feeling that it wasn’t.”  

Eddie is still suspicious but he doesn’t say anything. 

“Her mom is religious, right?” 

Eddie nods, “yeah, Jason too,” he rolls his eyes. 

You chuckle, shaking your head, “trust me, it was them. I don’t know why they would care and I have no fucking clue how they found my mom but they must have given her a lot of money.” 

“Wait what?” 

“Oh, all she cares about is money, Eddie. You pay her a good amount and she’ll tell you anything you wanna know.” 

Eddie raises his brows, a sigh leaving his lips as he shakes his head. He squeezes your hand, “I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay, I-I just wanna move on from this, you know?” 

He nods. 

“Okay,” he whispers, “but why didn’t you tell me about Jason and Chrissy’s mom?” 

“I didn’t want you to get into a fight with that asshole, it’s whatever. In the end it doesn’t even matter who sold that fucking story, it won’t be the first scandalous article, there will be many more.” 

He would have definitely gotten into a fight with Jason and cuss the old Cunningham witch out, god knows how many times he had done it before when she would comment on Chrissy’s weight, not only was she horrible to her own daughter, now she also managed to find a way to hurt you, you who had absolutely nothing to do with her. 

“I wanna beat his face in and put nair in her shampoo,” he grumbles as his eyes darken. 

Eddie was always protective of the people he loves, of his friends and family but he had never felt this kind of protective before. 

You snort at his words. 

“I’m serious!” 

“Okay,” you giggle, “that witch is gonna lose her hair at some point, karma will get her. Same with Jason, he’ll get what he deserves.” 

“But still, I wanna hurt him.” 

“You already did.” 

“That punch wasn’t enough.” 

“I’m sure an asshole like him will get many more punches in his lifetime.” 

“He better.” 

Sighing, you let go of his hand, taking the food tray, you place it on the ground before you lay down, placing your feet on the soft cushions and your hand on your stomach. 

Eddie looks at you, smile tugging at his lips. 

You reach for the necklace beneath your shirt and curiosity sparks inside of him. 

He lays down next to you, placing his elbow on the soft pillow, he cups his cheek as he stares down at you. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

You turn to look at him, rolling over on your side so you can face him. 

“How do you really feel about Steve?” He asks, “I-I’m not angry or jealous, just curious. I can tell that he means something to you,” he says, reaching for the necklace he got you. 

You hold your finger to your lips as you think about his questions. 

Eddie waits patiently. 

“Why are you asking me this?”

“I just, I see the way you’re around him,” he explains, “you’re comfortable with him, it’s different than with others, even your friends.” 

“I just really like him. He is kind of amazing.” 

“Kind of?” He smiles. 

“Very amazing,” you chuckle, rolling your eyes, “you’re still my favorite.” 

His smile widens, heart skipping a beat. You put your hand on his arm, squeezing it. 

“But how do you feel about him, Eddie?” 

He draws his brows together as he gives you a questioning look. It makes you giggle. You were surprised about the kiss they had shared that one night, it didn’t exactly seem like it was their first kiss. 

“How many times have you kissed him before?” 

“Oh,” Eddie breathes, chuckling. His cheeks grow red. 

“Or did you do…. more?” 

He shakes his head, “no, sweetheart. It was just a few kisses.” 

“A few kisses?” You chuckle. 

He nods as his eyes fall on the necklace that he is still holding between his fingers, he scoots closer to you. 

“Yeah, a few drunken kisses,” he snorts. 

“That’s all?” 

“That’s all.” 

“You never wanted to go further than that?” 

“I mean, back then I did,” he admits shyly.

“Oh my god,” you exclaim, your eyes flash with excitement at this new revelation, you push him back and place your hands on his chest, “tell me everything.” 

He laughs at your curiosity, not wasting a moment to put his hands on your back. 

“I was kinda into him but wasn’t sure if he’d be open for more than just a few kisses, you know?” 

You nod. 

“So I never tried,” he shrugs, “and then Chrissy asked me out so I never really thought about it again.” 

“Oh,” you pout. 

He chuckles, placing his hand under your chin, “what’s that pout for, sweetheart?” 

“I think you and Steve would’ve been cute together,” you say, giggling. 

“Shut up,” he laughs, rolling his eyes at you. 

“You know who would be cute together?” 

You shake your head, placing your chin on his chest, you brush your fingers through his curls, making him smile. 

“You and I, we’d be cute together,” he smiles. His eyes are soft, filled with nothing but adoration and love. 

Warmth rushes through your chest a smile tugs at your lips but you pretend to be skeptical, “hmm… you really think so?” 

He playfully glares at you, “of course!” 

“But I wouldn’t stand a chance if you were dating Steve,” you say, pretending to be jealous. 

He almost laughs, shaking his head at you. 

“Baby, we’re both obsessed with you,” he chuckles as he digs his fingers into your sides, tickling you. 

“Eddie!” You laugh, pushing his hands away. 

“If I was dating Steve and you came along, we’d both fall for you and just date you both.” 

Your lips part in surprise, your eyes widen, “oh?” 

He chuckles at the expression on your face. 

“And what if I didn’t want to have two boyfriends?” 

“But we’d treat you like a queen. You’d be the happiest girl in the world.”

You chuckle, blushing at his words. 

“Hmm, maybe two boyfriends aren’t too bad,” you whisper, “should we call Steve?” 

“No!” 

You giggle when he wraps his arms around you and flips you over. 

“No? I thought I could have two boyfriends.”

“I never said that,” he points out, giving you a stern look, “that would’ve happened if I dated Steve in the past. You are the only one that I need and I’m the only one that you need.” 

Your heart flutters and so does his when you cup his cheek. 

“You do have a soft spot for Steve though,” you whisper. 

It’s the truth. Out of all his friends, Steve was always his closest one, even though there’s people in his life that he had known much longer. Steve was different, you found a place in his heart. Eddie hated to admit it but he did. 

He was sick with jealousy when you had been with him but he always felt relieved that it wasn’t another man. It was just Steve. He always trusted him and he knew that you were safe with him.

“As do you.” 

Yes. 

Maybe the both of you have a bit of a soft spot for the handsome dork, he grew on you and a part of you hated the thought of him being all alone again. A part of you feels guilty, you gave him something, only to take it away again. 

“I feel like an asshole.” 

“What?”

His eyes are filled with guilt as he looks up at the ceiling. 

“The night at the trailer, Steve and I got into a fight… kinda.” 

“What? Why?” 

“He admitted that he likes you. I asked him if he loves you but he didn’t say anything. He looked pretty upset about the fact that you like.. me.” 

You talked about this with Steve. He told you that he has no feelings for you, that it was nothing but an attachment he had formed. 

“I got angry and we started saying stuff to each other, then it all led to that moment.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, “I feel bad, I-I didn’t want to accept that he may have feelings for you, I was scared that I would lose you because of it but when he gave you that necklace, I felt bad for him.” 

Your eyes soften and you frown at his words, “w-why?” 

“Because he didn’t want to let you go and yeah, maybe it’s just a friend not wanting to let go of someone that means the world to them and I know what it’s like to watch you leave, I know what he feels like. Losing you is the most painful thing, sweetheart.” 

“I don’t ever wanna lose you,” he whispers as he presses a gentle kiss to your knuckles, “even if you decide to leave me in the end, I will never leave you, no matter what.” 

Tears well up in your eyes. 

Eddie doesn’t understand what weight his words hold. He doesn’t know that this small moment, these simple words might have saved you. 

You know that he will stand by your side. 

And as long as you have him, you know that you will be alright. 

-

Cruel words and weird stares were expected when you left the hotel the next day, you successfully managed to ignore them though. You don’t let these things get to you. You’ve become an expert at building walls up around you, ones that no one can tear down, least of all strangers who have no relations to you.

You make it through the interview, you manage to get through the photoshooting and even the talk show that the band has been invited to. 

The journalists weren’t the nicest people to deal with, they of course used the article as an excuse to ask you questions that you have felt uncomfortable to answer but as you have told Eddie, you put on a fake smile and acted as though it had absolutely no effect on you. 

You noticed the concerned glances of your friends, Jeff asked you how you were doing multiple times, Gareth tried to lighten your mood while Rob and Johnny tried to distract you by talking about the upcoming concert. 

Eddie held your hand through it all, comforting you with his touches and encouraging smiles. 

You appreciate them but most of all him.

You tried to think of anything but the mess that you had gotten in, which was quite the challenge considering that people brought it up, constantly. 

Friday rolled around and you were happy to be back on stage for rehearsals. You haven’t sung since the night at the hideout and you missed it. 

You and Eddie tried to keep your touches to a minimum but it was difficult to do so, you just couldn’t stay away from him and neither could he. It was nice to hold his hand again and sing with him. 

You have gotten to the venue in the morning, a few hours have passed since then and you have decided to take a break. 

With a cup of coffee in your hand, you sit down on the ground and flip through the pages in your notebook. 

The guys went out to eat, you didn’t feel like leaving the venue, not when you know that there’s a bunch of people waiting out there for you. Eddie had wanted to stay back but you know that he hasn’t eaten anything since last night so you had to convince him to get food with the others. 

He only begrudgingly agreed, not wanting to leave you alone but eventually he caved, especially when his stomach grumbled. He promised to get you something as well before he left. 

You hear heavy footsteps and a loud sigh, you don’t have to look behind you to see who it is. 

“What’re you doing, kid?” Rob asks as he sits down across from you, a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in his other. 

“Just going through a new song text that I wrote.” 

“Oh, you wrote a new one?” He asks with a smile on his face. 

“Yes, started working on it a while back, do you wanna read it?” 

“Sure.” 

You turn your notebook around and slide it towards him. “I thought that this could be on the next album.” 

He raises his brow and smiles, “next album, huh?” 

You nod, “yeah, I mean I hope we can make one.” 

“With the way things are going, I can’t see why not,” he shrugs before he breaks eye contact, placing his mug on the floor, he reaches for the notebook. Placing his cigarette between his lips, he squints his eyes as he starts to read. 

You shake your head at the expression on his face, that man refuses to get himself some reading glasses. 

You take a sip of your warm coffee and look around the empty room, the one that will be filled with thousands of people tomorrow night. 

“Sounds angry,” he chuckles, “and very emotional.” 

“I was very angry and emotional,” you nod, laughing. 

“I can tell.” 

“Whenever I’m angry or sad, I get inspired…. Is that weird?” 

He smiles as he shakes his head slowly, “no, kid. It’s not weird, it’s your way of dealing with it. Which is good because at least there’s a great outcome from it. Other’s turn to other things when they are in pain.” 

You swallow, nodding at his words. 

“Yeah, drugs, alcohol and sex.” 

His eyes widen as he nods in agreement, “that’s right. I’ve been there myself, it’s not good. It feels good in the moment but you always come back from it, you sober up and when you do, you feel like absolute shit so you drown yourself in it again and again. You don’t want to but you do, despite knowing how fucking awful it is. You want to stop but the moment you’re in it, it just seems impossible and the longer you do it, you get more and more lost.” 

“Yeah,” you breathe, nodding, “you lose your way out.” 

“You really do. That’s why you should never even start with it because the moment you do, all those fuckers out there,” he says, pointing into a random direction, his cigarette still between his fingers, “the ones who are waiting for your downfall, they all fucking win. Everything they said about you, becomes true and you don’t want that. You gotta do what’s best for you, you gotta be better and stronger than them.” 

“But what if you realize that you are not strong?” 

“Then you gotta find that strength, you look for the light and hold on to that. Don’t succumb to darkness.” 

Rob’s words echo in your mind for the rest of the day, playing on repeat. 

You found your light and you will hold onto that, no matter what. 

-

“Are you ready?” Gareth grins at you, wiggling his brows. 

“Yeah, I’m ready,” you chuckle, giving him a confused look, “why are you acting so suspicious?” 

“Me, suspicious?” He gasps, shaking his head, “why would I act suspicious?” 

“I don’t know, you tell me.” 

You look behind his shoulder, smiling at Steve who looks away from Eddie, his eyes lock with yours and he smiles. 

Robin is watching the opening act with a look of awe in her eyes, Wayne next to her. 

The backstage crew is rushing around, preparing for your concert. 

“Can you believe that all these people came here for you?” 

You furrow your brows, laughing, “they came for us,” you mumble. 

“No, they came for you.” 

He looks behind you with a smirk on his face. You’re just about to turn around to see what he is looking at when a pair of hands cover your eyes. 

“Guess who.” 

You gasp at the sound of her voice, almost squealing in excitement, you grab her hands and turn around. 

“Jamie?” You exclaim as you meet the eyes of your best friend. 

She grins at you, happiness flashing in her eyes, she pulls you into a tight hug. 

“I missed you so much.” 

You close your eyes, blinking away the happy tears, you squeeze her tightly. 

“I missed you too, Jaims.”

“Alright, move over, Jamie. It’s my time.” 

Your eyes snap open and you just now notice the other two girls. Frankie and Wren rush towards you with excited squeals. They both wrap their arms around you, pulling you into a group hug. 

You giggle as Frankie presses her lips to your cheek, “I missed you so much, babe!”

“How?” You ask as you look at your friends in surprise. 

Jeff comes up behind Wren, pulling your friend into his arms, “we thought you could use some time with your friends,” he grins at you. 

“Wait,” you look at him with a smile on your face before you turn to Gareth, “you guys planned this?” 

“It was Eddie’s idea,” he shrugs, “I almost blurted it out the other day though.” 

Your gaze softens, heart warming. You turn around, looking at Eddie who is already staring at you with a smile on his face. 

‘Thank you,’ you mouth to him. 

“Of course, you can never keep your mouth shut,” Jamie snorts at him. 

“Hey! I did keep my mouth shut!” 

You shake your head, turning back to your friends, you stare at them for a moment. It’s been months since you had last seen them. Wren’s hair is longer than it was before, a happy smile is lingering on her face as she hugs Jeff. 

“How are you guys?” 

“Oh, Wren and I are fine,” Jamie says to you before she looks at Frankie who has that flicker in her eyes, “this one though, crazy in love.” 

Your eyes widen, you look her up and down, not only is she blushing like crazy, there’s also something on her hand that you haven’t seen before. 

“I-Is that an engagement ring?” You gape at her, reaching for her hand to stare at it. 

“Yes,” she squeals. 

“Wow, I– where’s this coming from?” You laugh, eying the beautiful ring, “who’s that lucky guy?” 

She opens her mouth to speak but is quickly cut off by Wren, “before she rambles your ear off, his name is Thomas, he is rich and crazy obsessed with her.” 

“And he has a yacht!” Frankie exclaims with a happy smile on her face. 

You pull her into another hug, “congrats, you always wanted a yacht,” you giggle. 

“Hi guys.” 

For a moment, your friends all fall silent at the sound of Eddie’s voice, it almost makes you nervous that they know about what happened. You didn’t tell them, you didn’t want to, especially not over the phone. 

Eddie places his hand on your back, waving at them awkwardly. 

They all greet him after a moment, giving him small smiles. It makes you relax a little but then they lay their eyes on Steve, who stands on the other side of you. 

You introduce them to him, your friends eye him in curiosity, you can already hear the questions coming the moment they get you alone again. 

They share teasing grins when they notice how both men look at you. Their grins only get bigger when you call Steve ‘Stevie’. 

Jeff excuses himself, pulling Wren along with him. You smirk to yourself when you see them walking into one of the backstage rooms. 

Gareth walks off as well as he mumbles something under his breath, leaving you standing here with two men on both your sides and your very curious best friends. 

Jamie falls into a conversation with Eddie and Steve but quickly finds something more entertaining behind you, you follow her gaze. Robin. 

She is staring at Robin. 

A mischievous smile appears on your face, the blush on her face deepens when Robin turns around, meeting your friend’s eyes. Jamie was the one who teased you the most when she found out about your feelings for Eddie, you will enjoy this. 

“So which one of them are you dating right now?” Frankie whispers into your ear after pulling you away from the group. 

“W-What?” You chuckle. 

She grins, playing with her red hair as she leans closer to you, “are you dating both?” She asks, “I know you always loved those love triangle books.” 

“Oh my god,” you groan. 

She turns to look at them, catching the look on Steve’s face as he stares at Eddie. 

“Oh uh, babes, I think he has a crush on your man.” 

You follow her gaze to see Steve nodding along to Eddie’s words, smiling at him. 

You almost burst into laughter. 

“Wait no–” she cuts herself off, Steve looks at you for a brief moment, “wait…” 

“What?” You chuckle. 

Her eyes are squinted, she looks at them and then at you, eyes moving back and forth, “did you…” Her eyes widen and she gasps before she even finishes her questions, before you even say anything, “you did, didn’t you!” 

“Did what?” You laugh, acting clueless but the flustered look on your face and the nervous smile gives it away.

“You know what,” she wiggles her brows. 

“No…” You say in a hushed whisper, hoping that no one can hear you or see the look on your face, “we didn’t–”

“Yes you did, you naughty girl,” she smirks. 

“I-It wasn’t, we didn’t.. not actually,” you stutter, rolling your eyes as you cross your arms over your chest. 

“Not actually?” She asks with wide eyes, “but you did something.” 

“It was just… a little something.” Not an actual threesome, you think to yourself. 

“A little something, huh?” She grins. 

Shaking your head, you roll your eyes playfully. 

“Nothing too crazy.” 

“How did that even happen?” She gasps, giggling like a schoolgirl, “I thought you and Eddie were dating all this time.”

“We weren’t– aren’t dating.” 

She draws back, scrunching her face up, “you’re kidding right?” 

You shake your head, “nope.” 

“I’m not buying that, that man,” she points to Eddie who turns to look at you with a smile on his face, “he is head over heels for you.” And then her eyes fall on Steve, “and that one too…. maybe, I’m not sure yet.” 

You shake your head, sighing. 

“Who’s head over heels for who?” Wren whispers in your ear as she sneaks up behind you. 

“Eddie and his boyfriend.” 

Wren giggles and you roll your eyes with a smile on your face. 

“Oh my god,” Wren laughs, “look at you, you became a rockstar and got yourself two boyfriends, have you adopted any kids yet?” She jokes. 

You chuckle, “should I?” 

“Yeah, you should make them both daddies.” 

“Jesus Christ…” you groan. 

“Who’s gonna be your new year’s kiss tonight? Which one is getting the first smooch?” 

They both giggle at the flustered expression on your face, teasing you with their eyes when both men walk up to you again, standing on both sides of you like before.

“You ready to go on stage, sweetheart?” Eddie smiles excitedly as he reaches for your hand. 

You nod, ignoring the giggles of your friends. 

“Good luck, honey.” 

They whisper behind your back, mimicking their pet names for you before they giggle again. 

You already know, their teasing will be never ending and this night will be a long one. 

-

@littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedcorpses @mysticmunson @aftermidnightwriting @sherrylyn628 @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @yearwalker96 @eddiemyloveee

[poopingonthefloor]

Davesport is Toxic NOT abusive

(((WARNING: PRETTY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT.))) I've seen some people making the claims that Davesport is comship/proship (ok well i've more seen people bitching about it) and im tired of the Davesport slander so this will be an analysis of their relationship. My motive isn't to force anyone to ship it or anything- i really dont care what you do with your life, my frustration is just when people try to make up REASONS why they don't like the ship, even though its literally canon (and not badly written). My main point is -- You can hate what you want. You don't need a reason, and it doesn't need to be bad just because you don't like it. But I will not take any slander on their ship nor any slander of people who like davesport. Davesport is absolutely toxic-- No DSAF fan would disagree. They are literally child murderers with little to no souls and literally are physically disfigured to the point they don't have the capacity to feel proper humanity anymore. You cant expect 2 men who live their lives willingly murdering and then partying in vegas to celebrate on repeat to be gentle and kind to themselves or anyone else.

However, its NOT abusive. I've seen multiple people (mostly from twitter screenshots) claim that Davesport is abusive or the way people portray it is in a fetishy or romanticizing way of abuse, when that's just not the case. I don't blame a lot of people, since a lot of it comes from reading context and intent of the artist, which not everyone is good at-- BUT I'm here to assure you that MOST people don't intend to do that much and just like to portray how their dynamic is canonically like or portray Daves obsession with Jack. Another argument I've seen (by a twitter screenshot...) is that people are comshipping Davesport because people draw Jack annoyed a lot at Dave when...thats not true? That's just Jack's personality, first off:

(From the Dave x Reader fanfic by Directdoggo)

"Jack is a bastardman not very touchy-feely. We can see this in many scenes, where Dave more or less says “I love you” and Jack responds with deflecting humour, or outright scorn. When Dave says it for the final time, this time, Jack tries to say it back, but can’t outright, only getting out: “Why is this so hard?” and “I hope you can find peace with what you’ve done.” Which Dave understood the meaning of. (Hey, better than Henry (LEGACY Jack) hearing “I love you” and proceeding to tear Dave limb from limb, huh?"

(Directdoggo describing Jack's personality)

I know it can be a little confusing to some people, but as someone who struggles with similar issues, just because he struggles to express intimately doesn't mean he can't love anything. Sometimes people are just different and communicating like that doesn't come as easily, even to the people you're closest to. To make it as easy as possible to comprehend-- He's quite literally a tsundere. (Minus the exaggerated ridiculousness in anime) He loves Dave, he just cant bring himself to say or act like it. The dismissiveness or rudeness in response to Dave's affection is not abuse, it's just a defensive response since he doesn't know how to say it back. (His way of being "shy") -- Also note its important that Dave UNDERSTANDS this about him by that point.

However Jack isn't the only thing I've seen regarding the claims that their ship is abusive-- and to debunk all of those I'm going to explain the three points that keep Davesport from being abusive, and I'll use Henry x Dave (which is what I'll call it to prevent it getting confused for FNAF willry) as an example alongside it since its super obvious why that one is messed up. Firstly, They are both bad people. By this point, Dave and Jack are murderers. It's just not surprising that they will be willing to kill each other at at least some point, considering they are willing to kill 5 year olds without remorse- and they'll both deserve it. It's only their own faults that they teamed up with the other, and it's meant to be the ultimate irony when Jack becomes even worse than Dave by "An ending". My point is- they're bad people. It's not like they're owed perfect company or would choose wholesome people to hang out with when they're literally both child murderers. Dave wasn't evil and didn't want to kill by the time he teamed up with Henry (and even after it was Henry's fault), so by that point his suffering was absolutely undeserved.

Secondly, They're lacking any specific power dynamic. Unlike Henry and Dave- whom have several levels of "Age, Father figure, and Employer", the most important one is that Henry is Dave's abuser. He manipulated him and purposefully harmed him both mentally and physically, whereas Dave never had any intention of doing either because Dave loved him and didn't want to lose him (because he had nobody else) This obviously much different with Dave and Jack, whom other than being taller and several years older than (which you can argue their 6 year age gap is weird but they didnt get to know each other till they were both older than 30 so by that point age difference doesnt rlly matter and (also theyre "mentally" like 24 and 22 canonically anyways (as much as I usually hate that argument)) Other then that they are only co-workers. This is a bit more arguable during DSAF 1, where Dave comes across more threatening and comes across like he's manipulating Jack, but I don't exactly count that because I wouldn't say theyre "shippable" or in their "situationship*" by that point (but also because them even being a ship was barely considered by the creator at that point obviously)-- whereas Dave is certainly more easily recognized as sincere to Jack in DSAF 2. Jack also is not someone who is afraid to defend himself against Dave, as shown by the fact he's willing to call out Dave's ridiculous behaviors (which is reasonable of him to do).

(Also from the Dave x reader fanfic) (I just think this specific screenshot debunks any sort of "power dynamic" claim)

My Third and Final point: There is a CHOICE involved I haven't really done much Dave defense in this post, but his defense is very simple: He is literally physically unable to comprehend guilt or conscience. Dave didn't want to murder anyone in the first place, but it was Henry who fucked with his (literal) head so much to the point he stopped being able to feel guilt. He doesn't care about murder and doing wrong because he CAN'T care. You can't really let that reflect Dave as a character when he's really not in control of himself in the first place. Now with that, that doesn't change the fact he could certainly affect and hurt people, and it's fully up to Jack as to whether or not he wants to deal with this purple man's freakish life choices and hobbies or not. And that's honestly super dependent on the ending you decide to base Jack on. Most people see the 'canon' endings to be: Gnarly ending (DSAF 1) -> An ending (DSAF 2) -> Good ending (DSAF 3) Where in all of these, Jack DOES choose to deal with Dave and basically is completely cool with murder. You don't have to follow those endings if you don't want to, but that's just typically what the modern "Davesport" is known for, but its what I'm using for my defense (considering this is a defense of both fandom and canon Davesport.) Though as opposed with Henry and Dave- Dave had no choice. Henry only ever manipulated him into thinking he did, and Henry made sure to feed this whole 'we will be a family' ideal into Dave (who never had one) so that Dave would be terrified to lose him. Jack never manipulates Dave (when teamed up with him), and Dave never manipulates Jack (tho arguable in DSAF 1 as well). They stay with each other despite all of their issues, and I believe its due to some co-dependency (imo I think Jack is also obsessed with Dave just in a different way before DSAF 3) Which isn't healthy, but not...inherently abusive.

I believe my main three points kind of cover the most of why I dont consider Davesport to be inherently a bad ship, but like I said- if you don't like it, none of that matters anyways. You dont NEED a reason to like something, and I wont try to convince you why you should ship something because I like it. Just don't hate it just because of what someone else says-- 90% of the dsaf fandom aren't comshippers, and Davesport isn't gross or "toxic /neg" just because it's not healthy. I think "Don't fetishize/romanticize literal abuse like its normal or sexy" and "We should explore more complicated and unhealthy dynamics" can and SHOULD coincide with each other!!!! I think Davesport is great because of how bittersweet it is that these two people finally found solace and acceptance in each other but couldn't get past the self-sabotaging nature of what Henry turned them both into, ultimately making it impossible to work out forever. I think embracing the Davesport makes the (kind of aged) trilogy a lot more enjoyable of an experience and I DO encourage any davesport skeptics to keep an open mind. [Pretend I wrapped this up super nicely I can never do that--- Also this is open for conversation and/or debate, and also yada yada my bad if i said something randomly terrible I have extremely poor social skills lol let me know so I dont do it again yada yada] *Also if anyone doesnt know a situationship is (at least in the context im using it in ive heard other definitions for it but its not a real word so i actually dont care) when 2(or more) people basically treat eachother like lovers but they never communicate this outright and dont technically officially date but like they treat and commit to eachother like a partner would) (So its kind of what all those people who playfully flirt and call each other their spouses as a commited running joke are in)

[nieceeee]

WOODY'S ROUNDUP!

Okay current fics that are in the works or coming up. This is my accountability list so yall....hold ya girl accountable lol

All fics are black reader and black coded just so you know. But let me know which ones yall excited to read

For The 1st Time: arranged marriage: ony x reader - angst, fluff

You knew that this was your destiny. From the time you were born. Ony knew it as well. But the problem...neither of you knew each other. Ony was set to be one of the most powerful men in his industry and to solidify that, your father promised you to him. But how the hell was he supposed to marry someone he's never met...

If you want you can watch on your video phone: nerd!gojo x camgirl reader - smut

Gojo was more reserved about his personal life than most people. From the outside he was a standup guy. Mostly quiet to those who didn't know him. He kept his head low, his grades high, and his mouth closed. But Gojo had a very nasty secret. Because deep in his mansion, with his doors bolted shut Gojo has an obsession. One that just happens to be the melanated girl that sits in front of him in class. He never spoke to you in public but the thoughts he had about you in private would make a porn star blush. But Gojo failed to realize one little thing. You knew exactly who your favorite streamer was, it was only a matter of time until you addressed him about it...

Lovers and Friends: gojo x virgin reader - smut, angst

Gojo and Geto have been friends for years and that didn't change when you had come along. A few years younger than them when your mom married Geto's dad and the duo became a trio. It had always been you three whether you liked it or not. Gojo never viewed you as a little sister but you were always someone he knew he would protect no matter what. So when you approached him with your offer, needless to say he was shocked. Initially he refused but you knew as well as he did how convincing you could be.

My Little Secret: Ony x reader - angst, smut

You and Ony had never really solidified your relationship with one another. It was all "my man my man my man" when yall were alone but in public, nobody knew the dirty little secret you shared. Not even Ony's little girlfriend. So when he pulls up to the party with her on his arm, will you be able to keep that secret under wraps? If he doesn't tell, you won't tell..

Indefinitely: babydaddy!eren x reader - heavy angst

Things with you and your baby daddy were fine as far as you can tell. You both had moved on and managed a great coparenting relationship. Everything seemed okay...for you. Eren on the other hand was seething. Because not only had you moved on, you had found someone new. So when a chance encounter between your new boo and Eren come to a head after he sees him with your son, you forced to make a tough decision that will pivot you and Eren's relationship forever.

Wanna Be: bestfriend!ony x reader - slight angst, fluff

“Not trynna hear you tell nobody that I’m just a friend. Just trynna make sure I’m the body that you call your man…” Ony is your best friend and its been that way for years. He was your safe haven as much as you were his. You've always shared a connection with one another that many didn't understand. But recently Ony has been struggling with his feelings for you. Things that he used to feel don't quite feel the same anymore. And he's forced to come to terms with reality...

Liquor: drunk!armin x reader - smut

There's something in this liquor. It has to be. That's the only reason he was like this. Because there wasn't any other reason why the cute, quiet blonde boy that stuttered anytime you approached him had you pinned up like this, tears falling from the corners of your eyes...

Mirror Staring Back At Me: bestfriend!eren x reader - smut

He knew better. He knew not to get involved in your relationships. He knew his place at your side. But Eren couldn't help it. Not when he saw how they tried to destroy your confidence. You standing in the mirror with eyes of uncertainty. You picking yourself apart from their words. So he did what only a good best friend would do. He showed you right there in your mirror exactly how he felt about you and how you should to...

All Things Ya Man Won't Do: ony x reader - fluff to smut

Most of your life your relationships have been transactional. You learned early on that nothing you get comes for free, especially with me. It was always a give and take. So when you got with Ony, you expected the same things. For every gift he got you, you made sure to double it because that's how the game goes right? Well Ony wasn't having that. He was going to get it through to you by any means necessary...

A Rock and a Hard Place: choso x reader - fluff, suggestive

This was it! You were going to get in shape. And what better way that to do something fun like...rock climbing? Why the hell did you let your best friend talk you into this? Heights were not your strong suit. But a little help from the cute instructor may take your mind off things...

SPIN: ony x reader - smut

"Ass or tits?" was the question asked of him. "Titties all day. Yall can keep that other shit." Ony has always been an assertive man. He knew what he liked and what he didn't like. He knew what turned him on and what he pulled away from. He was always certain in his decisions. That was until you came along. The moment you stepped into his life, everything Ony swore he wasn't interested in was flipped upside down...

[halowishes]

my fav fics of 2024!!

i wanted to share my other recs that i read before i started my lists and ones that just deserve MORE recognition/ changed me/ inspire me to live my life.

(not ranked, just jumbled together)

fandoms: mostly haikyuu & some demon slayer

(skts if the ship is unspecified)

red dahlia

e. 103k+. ongoing. handmaiden au.

guys. this was probably the fic that made me fall in love with sakuatsu. fairycake always does impeccable world building and splendid writing. this fic has such flair and style— it’s in both povs so you can feel all the nuance. and the PLOT. the DIALOGUE. the IMAGERY. god this is really such a wonderful fic and i’m dying to find out what happens next!!

play among the stars

e. 105k. sci-fi/ rom-com/ drama?

ok so there’s a jail on the moon. kiyoomi is a guard and atsumu is a prisoner! i had so much fun reading this. i’ve never read anything like it. it was intense but well-paced, dramatic yet comedic, serious and silly! kiyoomi had some really beautiful development, and atsumu’s character was a treasure. every chapter was gorgeous but i ESPECIALLY love the last few.

in transit — kageyama x hinata

t. 4.7k. canon universe.

one of the first hq fics i read. so sweet and felt very loyal to the anime. i also just thought the image of kageyama playing basketball was so funny. this fic introduced me to the world of hq fanfic so i’ll always be thankful for it.

in another life — bokuto x akashi

t. 23k. mcd/ hospital au.

honestly? heartbreaking. soul crushing. i’ll randomly remember parts of it and just sit in silence for a bit. this fic is probably why i actually haven’t really sought out any other bokuaka… i just end up thinking about this😭 AND ITS SO WELL WRITTEN. the storyline is so precise and clean, but it packs a punch (that ends in tears). i wondered how the hell it had so many hits but i get it. i really do. and i’m a changed person because of it.

three sheets to the wind

m. 117k. pirate au.

i am actually very obsessed with atsumu teaching kiyoomi how to let loose and feel the sun on your skin and be honest and real. also such a fan of atsumu’s casual poetry because when you’re obsessed with someone, words can just roll off the tongue. very big believer of love inspiring courage and bravery.

insert coin to play

e. 178k. cyberpunk au.

we all know how much i love this but what does it for me is how it understands kiyoomi’s characteristics: he’s blunt, strong, determined, and a bit irrational. i love loud and proud fighter atsumu, but kiyoomi is no less weaker just because he’s quiet. and i will always always always remember that scene in the club where they talked about a world if they were ordinary. anyways. i can always talk about this fic.

heirs

e. 237k. corporate & soulmate au.

this was the slow burn of the year. yes the fic was about love and choice and agency, but also duty, piety, and power. it was provoking and thoughtful and dramatic (in a good way). i actually felt the anger, betrayal, and shame of those characters because the plot is just that intense.

again, like this

e. 55k. mid time skip.

this really is my comfort fic. i’ve read it so often i can probably tell you verbatim every plot point. but i can’t help it because they are so tender. so innocent and raw and real. they make each other better and it’s such a pleasure to read. and (you got me) the smut was really really good ok?😭😭

the tide will turn

e. 80.8k. titanic au.

there’s not much i can say because of spoilers but GOD. this fic is so luxurious and unreal. i was obsessed with the characters and finding out what came next. it was a thrilling and emotional read (definitely cried). the fic was so immersive and the last few chapters stuck with me.

afflictions for below-average asian-americans

t. 7.5k. american suburbia au.

genuine, embarrassing, overwhelming, inexplicable. the character development is so special and subtle, yet inspiring. although the premise comes off as niche, i think anyone can relate to feelings of envy and insecurity. this seriously made me appreciate my younger self more <3.

do i dare disturb the universe?

t. 14.9k. parallel timeline.

*screams*. i need more second chance fics. (vulnerable lore moment) i have a deep rooted aversion to failure and making mistakes so stories like these help me unlearn that. generally, there’s no right or wrong in how to live your life so why aren’t we just doing what we can to be fulfilled and loved? very important fic about listening to your heart!!

it drives you crazy getting old

m. 45.9k. 13 going on 30-ish au.

there is something so comforting about reading a young skts in their 32 year old selves. the fic is about learning how to be patient, to be vulnerable, to love. growing up can be so scary but this fic is a gentle reminder that everything will work itself out and you never have to do it alone. you may not end up where you thought, and that’s okay.

bound

e. 68.1k. actors au.

what i admire about this fic is how generous it is. the characters make mistakes, they say and do things they don’t mean, they can be unhealthy and miscommunicate. but at the end of the day, they’re so patient and loving that the stars align for them because they deserved that happy ending. (and that speech at the end was just too good not to include. it makes me cry every time.)

rain on your wedding day

g. 4.6k. skts wedding.

the joys of celebrating love. the joys of having a community who supports you and will do anything to see you happy. the joys of spending the rest of your life with Your Person. i don’t care if it’s a fanfic, it’s canon TO ME.

how to NOT fall in love with your flatmate’s twin

m. 46.7k. mid-time skip.

while atsumu and kiyoomi’s budding relationship is delightful and the twins’ characters are superb, i will always remember this fic for the side plot of kiyoomi learning to reconnect with his mother. it’s simple yet so powerful. this fic makes me appreciate my parents, siblings, and everything university gave me :’).

burden of blame

e. 91.2k. yakuza au.

if there’s anything to know about me it is that i LOVE a thriller. the plot of this fic is so buzzing with life and mystery. also i’m a SUCKER for bossy ass kiyoomi x nonstop yapper atsumu. it just amplifies the banter and tension by a mile. and selfless, impulsive atsumu will always have a place in my heart <3.

constellations we called home

e. 53.5k. end of the world au.

i read this fic over a month ago but i still can’t be normal about it. it’s extravagant, emotional, and honestly punched a hole through my heart that i might never recover from (like all apocalypse aus). this fic reminds me of the “would you rather have a good thing and or never have it at all” debate. (i will always choose to have a good thing).

sketches of a firefly

e. 88.7k. magic realism/ returning to a small town au.

recently featured in my monthly recs but i don’t care! this fic made me want to be a kid again. it’s literally and figuratively magical. the storytelling amazed me and the tension was soooo vivid. this is a very worthy read but READ THE TAGS.

stockholm syndrome isn’t real

e. 50.2k. heist au.

also mentioned in my dec recs! i just love how this fic read like an action comedy movie. the punchy humor and the well paced scenes made it go by like my dream sakuatsu film. i’m still wrapping my head around how intricate the dynamics and plot of this fic are!

terminal curiosity

e. 9 works, each 10k+. canon universe.

we all read it, we all know it’s good. there’s nothing new i can say about it but i do go back and read it every couple months. (laid bare & thunder in a bottle are my favs <3).

demon slayer

blue — giyuu x sabito

t. 17.2k. canon divergence.

giyuu wakes up in an au where sabito lives. the fic was so gentle and loving and careful. giyuu’s disbelief and the absurdity of it all— you feel all of that with this fic. the story was just so wholesome and made me love giyuu.

uh huh, honey — giyuu x sanemi

e. 151k. pornstar au😭😭

ok i realize the premise is bonkers but the plot is actually pretty deep😭 this fic was prime “opposites attract” in that the characters complement each other perfectly. really beautiful imagery, hilarious dialogue, and such a silly premise but full of admiration and thought.

and that’s my year of fanfic! i almost called this my top 24 fics of 2024 but then i thought “there’s no way i have 24 favs” and here i am… only two short.

but yeah! i’m glad to be back in fandom culture because it really is what got me through tough times. i hope you give these fics a chance or (most likely) if you’ve already read them, let me know what you thought about them!! (if you want more recs check my halo reads tag).

i’m not sure how long these monthly recs will last as i move onto a new part of my life, but i do hope you all find some community in these posts <3

lots of love ALWAYS,

halo <3

[kateeorg]

Critical Role- Gods and Parents Parallels

One thing that pops up again and again in the Ruby Vanguard and Ludinus discourse about the gods is that the gods are angry because their children surpassed them. That the child must always surpass the parent, and that the gods not allowing that makes them unfair, against the natural order of things.

I see three issues with this, and they are all a little at odds with each other, so not sure which if any make the most sense.

The first is that the gods have already significantly stepped back from influencing Exandria, as a good parent should. In fact, much of the Ruby Vanguard, like Bor'dor and Lilliana, were radicalized because they felt abandoned, not because they felt the gods have overstepped. Same with a lot of Bells Hells - they have such vague feelings of the gods mostly because they have only felt them vaguely. The few times they've witnessed real overstep were when Ludinus forced their hand - the Dawnfather temple, what happened with Opal.

But most of the time, they don't usually force their will, don't demand obedience from those who choose not the believe, give vague hints. So in trying to give their children more free will, which those like Ludinus should see as a good thing, they come across as absent (a similar problem to the gods in the Percy Jackson series, where the parent issues are much more direct.) You're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

The second is that the rule that the child must "surpass" the parent only really works in a world where parents eventually age and die. But the gods... don't. And can't. Not naturally. Which is I suppose why Ludinus is so deadset on killing them.

But on top of that, even if one killed the gods and became top of the food chain, mortals still can't comprehend the infinite the way gods can. So in reality it's sort of impossible for mortals to surpass the gods except by becoming one, a process that we know is difficult and has a variety of complications. And even then, you don't actually surpass the gods - you just become one of them. You become what you despised, thinking you could do a better job, until you realize all the demands that position and responsibility brings. You could maybe do a better job, but in the process realize why it was so hard for your parents in the first place. Look at the Raven Queen. So either way, Ludinus's dream of mortals surpassing gods doesn't work.

Which leads to my third issue: Surpassing is not the point.

If we're really going to run with the parent-child parallels, the true sign of a child maturing is not them surpassing the parent - it's understanding them. It's seeing their flaws and forgiving them for it. To see them not as saviors or tyrants, but in their entirety as beings trying to do their best in imperfect circumstances. Doesn't mean you need to maintain a relationship with them as an adult if they really hurt you and continue to hurt you, but it allows you to better understand the past and forge a better future.

Now, the gods don't seem to think mortals CAN understand, and I think that is a flaw on their part. Mortals may not be able to understand the infinite, what it means to be responsible for and take care of entire domains of existence, to be so bound to your own rules you cannot break them. But mortals can, some more than others, understand trauma and family obligations and impossible choices. The Society of Primes may not have come about if the Primes made it more apparent what the Betrayers really are to them.

And this is where I hope Bells Hells can step in. Because they are among a select few living souls who have seen what happened in Aeor from the Primes' perspective. (4-Sided Dive mentions they did not witness what happened in Tengar and the epilogue, but everything else). And this group more than many can understand impossible choices and choosing one another, even when it could potentially hurt others.

If Bells Hells can prove to the gods that mortals are capable of appreciating them as flawed and respecting them anyway, that seeing their flaws even makes them love them more... perhaps that could lead to a healthier relationship between mortals and gods for all of Exandria. Not of tyrants nor of absence, but a happier medium.

EDIT: We in fact see this in Campaign 1, where Vax and Vex see the human faces of the Raven Queen and the Dawnfather - in the instances the gods have trusted mortals enough to show their human side, they have become more likable. But considering Aeor, it's easy to see why they don't trust easily.

(Of course this could go the totally opposite way and I could eat my words, but that's just where my head is at after Downfall. Imogen and Laudna in particular I think may become more fearful seeing what the gods do to threats to themselves and their domain. But we'll see).

[sanjisluvbot]

Spending time with Yandere Strawhats x Black Fem reader

AN: Hello and welcome new readers, this is slightly a part three to my Isekai series and as I publish this I am thinking about creating separate fics for each of the characters below. If you want to be on a tag list I’ll add you 🫶🏽🫵🏽

MINI SPOILERS BTW

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Luffy was the main source of light for your adventure. You hung out with him mostly in the middle of the day when the sun was at its peak. Other times it’s at the end of the day just before Sanji calls you in for the last meal. Those are your favorites, words don’t need to be spoken when you and Luffy are sitting on the head of the Sunny. At least not the words either of you want to hear at the moment. So you both sit in silence enjoying the false sense of bliss.

Luffy sits next to you in all meals, since you’re the favorite, he wouldn’t dare steal food from you.. most of the time of course. The first mate will always be to the other side of you as well neither taking their gaze off of you as if you were nothing but prey.

When you’re all on islands only few are assigned to take care of you and watch you. Nami, Robin, Zoro, Sanji and Jimbei, the rest couldn’t be trusted to not fall for you in their naivety.

When you were able to go adventure with Luffy you had more of a chance to escape when he was distracted by surroundings. However that didn’t last long, it was as if he had eyes on the back of his head. He would know exactly where you were hiding no matter what.

You got better at hiding behind a fake smile the more you hung out with Luffy. It was never a pretty sight with any of the crew when you angered them by mentioning your “ home”

Luffy would usually ignore you when you’d talk about home, he didn’t care about the past he just wanted to enjoy the present with all his friends. But those times you got under his skin he made your life a living hell.

Zoro wasn’t one to really welcome most with open arms especially with the way you ended up with the crew.

Zoro was one who put you in edge the most because even having one eye shut the man’s gaze makes one fully understand that if he wanted to he would end your life.

However that barley lasted a full week, after he found out you both had a love for drinking he made it a mission to get under your skin in the best ways he could. Always checking up on you, rescuing you when you’re in danger, wanting to play drinking games after dinner, and napping on the deck with him on warm days.

On new islands you would go pair off with Zoro, in order to fall into the shadows and disappear from the strawhat crew forever. However, Zoro was resilient, he always held your hand and never took that menacing eye away for more than a second.

You’ve tried to reason with him once when you both were drunk off your asses in the aquarium. “ I want to ask you something.. Zoro” with a heavy sigh he turned to face you from his spot on the floor. “ Why do you like to bother me when we are like this? You’re gonna ruin a good time”

His gaze was so intense making you gulp and turn away while his eye burned into your skull. It’s very unfortunate that this man is so attractive. “ I know it’s a lot to ask but-” “ Then don’t ask me I don’t have an answer to satisfy you y/n” you could tell when he was really inebriated, his hard exterior was down and he spoke to you with such a soft voice.

You and Nami spent most of your time together in her office. You liked to write and paint and she had tons of paper and ink.

Tanning on the Sunny was an essential it felt like you had a real girlfriend, you did your spa days together and talked about anything to come to mind. Sharing baths always made you blush since she would take the time to pamper you and scrub your scalp when it was wash day.

Nami had always been a great actor, that’s how she was able to survive those many years alone and ostracized from her family and friends. Bringing up home around her means waterworks.

It also means being punished by the whole crew because she told everyone you were thinking of an escape.

She loved taking you shopping, you were her little doll she wanted to dress up and take care of. She didn’t want to loose anyone else close to her which is exactly why she would go as far as getting you punished for a few days in order to make sure you can stay with her forever.

Ussop was the one you could relate to the most. You both were very similar in terms of being considered the weakest onboard and among other things.

Spending time with Ussop meant sometimes spending time with Chopper and Luffy playing games and pranks on crew members.

You learned about his garden and eventually started helping him take care of that. He spoke in depth about what he learned over the last two years and how his new seeds worked.

He turned you into a little inventor, bringing you under his wing and you were willing to learn anything and everything. You almost felt bad knowing the real reason you wanted to learn from him.

Sanji was enamored with you to the fullest extent. He is usually head over heels for anything that walks his way with boobs but you, you sparked something in him.

Spending time with Sanji meant you didn’t have to lift a finger because he waited on you hand and foot.

Sanji loved to have you perched on his side when he was cooking so you can taste everything and stroke his ego. He was such a charmer and you both got along so well since it was obvious you both had a soft spot for one another.

One islands like water seven you would pair off with him and go and explore the city and help him buy groceries. This is one of the main reasons out of all the Yandere Strawhats Sanji is the most obsessed. To him, those times were dates and godforbid something happened to you or you decided to leave him he would spiral.

When you used to talk about going home or one of the other crew members would tell him about things you been doing ( escape attempts ) he would get so angry his eyebrow going from left to right. This would cause Zoro and him to fight more often due to him wanting to take his anger out on anything.

Robin was the main one to keep you on your toes. Her eyes always let you know when to stop talking.

Spending time with Robin meant you were able to read a variety of books and inhaling knowledge just as she does. When you looked at books that resembles your situation she was always over your shoulder or had an eye pop up somewhere on your body.

“ Interesting book there y/n would you let me read it when your done?” Her smile never fully reached her eyes on most occasions which always left you drenched in a cold sweat because you knew.

You knew that escaping with someone like Robin on the crew was more than difficult, but you pushed that past you when you hung out. Sanji would bring tea and treats to the library and there would be soft music playing in the background.

Robin was serenity when you ignored the silent threats.

Spending time with the whole crew was usually meal times or when you had important business on an island.

Everyone bounced off each others conversations they truly stuck together like glue which is the main reason you’ve been with them so long.

No matter what the conversations always gravitated towards you. Each sharing their stories of time you spent together or future plans they had with you. Some of which you hadn’t even agreed to ( yet ).

It is hard to escape from a crew that you already ran away from once, they’d be damned if they let it happen twice.

[captain-mj]

Celebration or Funeral

Graves invites the crew out to a bar for seemingly no reason and hopefully no ulterior motives.

Price was dumbfounded at the audacity honestly. Graves had sent out an invite to the 141 and Alejandro and Rodolfo. Even included plus ones if they had a partner to bring.

He didn't understand at all. It was so bizarre. The invitation was safe. They had a team to check for anthrax and the like. But everything had been given the seal of approval.

There was a time, date, location, even coordinates in case they didn't know the place. He had checked. It was a bar in Texas that was close enough to the border that the Los Vaqueros wouldn't have to travel too far from home. It was close to where they had chased Hassan originally.

The 141 would have to fly of course, but that's cause they were stationed in Urzikstan at the moment.

Price mentioned it offhandedly to Farah, planning to toss it out and never ever seeing that traitor again.

But Farah had smiled at him. "Oh! Yeah, Alex and I were going to go. I'm glad Phillip decided to invite you guys."

"Phillip? You guys are on first name basis now?"

She frowned at him, immediately looking displeased. "Price, remember what we talked about. We've been working together for a while now."

"You can't trust him."

"I never said I did. I simply ask you trust me." Farah huffed. "And I will be going to their outing. He does this with his closest Shadows often and Alex and I always have a nice time. Maybe you all need to come along. It might be good to clear the air since we will continue to work with each other."

Price really wished he could convince Farah to stop working with him, but if she insisted on doing so, he would be there. "Fine. I'll come."

The other three agreed to come immediately, not wanting Price to walk into an ambush, relatively, alone.

The plane ride was... uncomfortable to say the least.

Ghost was currently glowering at Alex who kept glancing over at him and grimacing. He'd sigh passive aggressively and Alex would turn around to glare at him back.

"And why are those two acting like jilted lovers?" Price aske Gaz and Soap.

"Oh, Alex said he and Graves had become friends and Ghost is made because the two of them and Alejandro are friends. He considers it a betrayal to their friendship." Gaz explained.

"Ah. Are you also upset, Soap? You did get shot."

Soap nodded. "Well. I am pissed. But with Makarov around, Graves helping Farah to fight him, and him betraying Shepherd to throw him under the buss, I'm trying to stay level headed about it."

It was a shockingly grounded take. Price wished he could do the same. Inside, the anger was too hot. Too volatile. He didn't know what it was about Graves that just got under his skin, but forgiveness wasn't on the table.

Honestly he wanted to just beat him into the ground. Hurt him like he had hurt Soap and Ghost in Los Almas. Like he had hurt the Vaqueros.

He felt like a rabid dog when he thought of it. Normally, he was so much better at keeping his emotions in check.

Farah patted him suddenly and he glanced up at her. "Do you want a drink, old man?"

"Yeah. I could use one." He stood up and followed her to the cabin. The plane used to be a private one, but it had been repurposed for Farah and her Freedom Fighters. It was better for long distances than a helicopter and it had better optics when they had to make speeches or talk with government operations.

Farah didn't keep much alcohol on board, but she did keep a thing of whiskey for the two of them to share. She poured them both a glass and he took it from her gratefully.

"I understand why you're upset."

"And I understand why you're working with him." Price interrupted. "I do. I promise. It's just an adjustment. Especially finding out you socialize with him."

"Mostly I socialize with Oz actually."

"Oz?"

"His second in command! He's great. Very cool. He's shown me how to play video games." Farah smiled so softly, almost like she was embarrassed.

Price smiled a little himself, thinking of Farah being... normal. She had fought for so long. Her entire childhood spent in hell. If she enjoyed spending time with this "Oz" guy, he must not be awful. "Okay. I'm going to give all of them a chance, alright?''

"Thank you, Price. I do appreciate it." Farah squeezed his arm. "Really. I hope we can all work amicably."

They settled back down with the others and rested for this rest of the plane ride.

The moment they touched down, Farah and Alex were quickly getting out. Price bit his tongue and hung back, the 141 one quickly following his lead, even though Gaz did glance at Alex and Alex did glance back.

"Try to play nice. No unnecessary fights." Price ordered, patting Gaz's back.

"Aye, Captain." Soap responded.

Ghost stayed very quiet, only giving the slightest nod.

"At ease."

They didn't really separate. Maybe it was unease at being on unfamiliar turf or the fact that they were all enemies.

Alejandro was smoking near his car, Rudy at his right. His body language shifted, relaxing at the same time the grin appeared on his face. "Hermanos!"

Soap smiled. "Alejandro, Rodolfo. Long time no see."

Alejandro grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. Soap did the same with Rodolfo.

Gaz nodded at them. "Colonel Vargas. Sergeant Major Parra."

"I feel we're on a first name by now, Sergeant Garrick." Rodolfo smiled at him. "Nice to see you again."

Alejandro nodded but jumped into business. "Our invitation said this was an... apology. You guy's mention anything about this?"

"No. Just an invitation."

"Interesting. Let's head inside."

The bar itself was full of people. It took Price a moment before he realized it, but, with the exception of the bartender, every person in the room was a Shadow. All of them were in civvies, but he recognized a few of them from chance in encounters. They all talked about their work with no issues.

Alex had a cowboy hat on. For some reason, this was something he noticed immediately. He was currently downing a pint, trying to drink it faster than a dark haired woman who was currently beating him.

Farah was chatting animatedly with a giant man with strange makeup on. HIs hair was set up a bit like a vikings would be. He was smiling at her and nodding excitedly.

Price didn't like it.

The giant man looked at him and quickly looked... embarrassed? It was an odd look on such a big man.

Farah followed his gaze and waved Price over. He quietly walked over, keeping an eye out on everyone. Most people were drunk or getting there so there weren't many threats.

Oz smiled at him, standing up. Price didn't like that he had to tilt his head up to look him in the eye.

"It is nice to meet you, Captain. You too, Colonel. The rest of you." Oz seemed unsure of himself.

"Oz, I'm assuming?"

"Yes, sir." Oz nodded.

Farah smiled. "We were talking about a game he showed me! It's called Terraria. It's so much fun!"

"Now, Osmond." There was that familiar accent. Graves was smiling, looking... stupidly casual. A flannel shirt, tight jeans, a belt buckle. A walking stereotype of American. "Please tell me you haven't converted Farah to your nerdy shit."

"Hey!" Farah defended him. "It's fun!"

Graves shook his head, a bright blush on his face from intoxication. "Whatever you say, ma'am." He looked at them. For a moment, he made eye contact with Price and it was like a lightning bolt. But then his eyes skipped right over to him to Alejandro. He took a deep breath. "It's nice to see you again, Colonel. And you, Sergeant Major."

"The feeling is not mutual."

Graves stepped a bit closer, on the very edge of his personal space. "Alright. Hit me."

Alejandro frowned.

"One free hit. Consider it the start of us getting even with each other. There's no guns in here. No one is going to stop you and I'm not going to hit you back. So, hit me."

Alejandro weighed his options for a split second before socking Graves so hard on the side of his jaw that Oz had to catch him before he stumbled.

Graves took a split second, blinking involuntary tears from his eyes. He faced him again. "Great. Your drinks are on us." Despite the freshly blooming bruise, he still managed a rather charming smile.

Alejandro shook his head but stepped back. Rudy didn't.

"Only fair I let you have one, yeah?" Graves smiled right before Rodolfo hit him hard in the stomach.

"Stay out of Los Almas." Rudy hissed to him.

"I was planning on it, amigo." Graves managed to straighten up after a minute. "You four aren't getting a hit."

"Gonna let me shoot you later?" Soap growled at him.

Graves laughed. "Nah. Have as many shots as you want though." He nodded at them and walked away, clearly hurting a little but playing it off.

Price ordered the most expensive whiskey available. He downed a shot, keeping an eye on Graves as he went to each table. His hands touched every Shadow's shoulder. It was a light touch but Price recognized it. He did the same thing when the 141 came back from missions. A light touch to let him know they were alive.

"John." Simon muttered. "How are we feeling?"

"I'm following the Colonel's lead. He seems to be trying to run up a tab. I'm going to do the same. Farah also seems... happy. A normal friendship outside of the military will be good for her. Or as close as this is."

Ghost nodded and sat next to him. They observed them for a good minute before Gaz slunk to Price's other side. Soap was mingling.

There was country music playing. It sounded modern, but Price didn't exactly listen to the genre. He sighed and ordered another whiskey, hoping to keep himself just drunk enough to relax but not so drunk he couldn't fight.

As the songs flipped through, Price got tipsy enough to mildly enjoy himself. His friends had left him at some point, not too far away, just around.

Something came on the radio and Graves climbed on to a table. The top few buttons of his shirt had been undone and he was panting a little bit.

"Turn that motherfucker off!"

"Come on, Graves it's just one song!"

"No! I've hated that motherfucker for ages and suddenly he wants to prounce around like a little bastard. That motherfuckers went to a fucking private school! Get his ass off my radio!" Graves hissed.

Price swallowed thickly. Maybe it was the whiskey, of which he was a few glasses down. Maybe it was the sudden anger and passion in his face. But he felt flushed from more than alcohol.

The next song, which sounded like a love ballad to him, seemed to please Graves who started to sing along. Despite the table being wooden, it held his weight as he stomped his boots on it. He smiled brightly as he did and someone handed him a whiskey bottle to drink during the chorus.

Price made eye contact with him and quickly glanced around to talk to his team.

HIs team which was not there.

Ghost and Simon had started to banter, making fun of people in the room despite never looking away from each other.

Gaz, who now had that cowboy hat on, had gotten swept up in Alex, the two of them currently dancing. Alex was a little out of step, his prosthetic leg probably making it harder.

Farah was now dancing with one of the pretty Shadows. The two of them twirling around.

Even Alejandro and Rodolfo were staring at each other, Rudy's hand was on Alejandro's chest.

Fuck. He didn't have anyone around.

Price looked back up at Graves who had looked away but somehow a few more of his buttons had come undone. His head tilted back, showing off a pretty neck. Fuck, his chest was heaving, breath puffing out of him.

They were making eye contact again. Graves licked his bottom lip and drank more of his whiskey.

Price got up and went to the bathroom. He took off his hat for a moment and splashed his face with water to try to sober up a little.

"Price." That fucking accent sounded from behind him. Maybe he should've hid in one of the stalls. But that would've felt juvenile.

"Graves." He looked in the mirror at him.

The man smiled. "Sorry if I'm interrupting. You alright?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?" Price growled out, watching those red cheeks got redder.

Graves shrugged a little. "Don't know. Maybe I'm projecting on ya a little." He looked away, drinking more of the bottle.

"I'm angry."

"is it all at me?"

"No. Not just you." Price sighed and straightened up. He walked over until he was standing over him. Graves straightened up a little but he let Price take the bottle from his hand. His eyes followed his lips as he took a long drink.

Graves sighed. "Good?"

"Cheap tasting." Price tried to tease him, but it fell flat.

The pretty blue eyes peering up at him wouldn't let him go. It was infuriating. He found himself leaning down, lips pressing against Graves's, tasting the whiskey off of them. His tongue darted out to deepen it. For a blissful moment, his mouth opened up to let Price in.

Then he was turning away. "This isn't going to fuck up your team, is it?"

Price blinked and it was like reality slammed into him. "It is."

Graves smiled sadly. "John, I'd love to. But I'd be a right ass fucking up what you got going on. I think I've done enough damage."

"It'd feel great. God, I'd treat you right."

He laughed and Price felt his stomach clench. The rest of the whiskey bottle was slipped into his hand. They shared another kiss, tongues chasing each other.

"If you're sober, and still want to, go ahead and call me."

[redsparko]

Hopefully this reaches the right audience.

I’d like to talk about Maya Sokolov and her writing and the analysis of what Miss Rina Kent could’ve done with her character and her story. I know Rina said in one of her Insta stories that for sure Remi, Maya, Vaughn, and Gareth were not getting stories. I can be fine with Remi and Vaughn not getting stories (Remi not so much but I can live) while Maya and Gareth I can feel some potential with.

And I get it from Rina’s POV, miss girl has written like 35 books within 3-4 years. And if she feels no passion or connection with certain characters then she won’t write it. I understand and agree with that completely.

It doesn’t mean I won’t have any ideas about it yeah? Even if it’s not canon that’s what makes it fun.

Anyway back to the point, Maya Sokolov and her character

She falls under the lines of the Queen Bee, diva, bitch. Something like Silver, Nicole, and Reina. I absolutely love those three. Personally, Silver should’ve gotten the trilogy, Reina was done dirty lowkey, and Nicole’s story (Empire of Hate) left me with wanting more groveling. But out of the three I found I relate to Nicole more.

It’s the inferiority complex. I love that shit, I have it too, and I eat it up. And that’s clearly scene in Maya too. In the end of GOR it’s referenced/implied/canon that Maya was jealous of Mia and made a monkey’s paw type wish that came true.

There’s something so raw and sad and powerful in that that can and should be shown in Maya’s character (speaking from personal experience) feeling something so negative that it results in an act of hurting another person you REALLY care about because it comes from a place of deep sadness and insecurity.

Maya can act like the biggest girl boss and look at everyone like they’re the dirt beneath her feet (literal quote from GOR) but that does not disguise the fact she can only act like that because no one else will ever hate her more than how she hates herself.

And as readers we can really see it, and even theorize it from in between the lines. In GOF we read about Nikolai’s thoughts about the twins.

There are people saying that GOR ruined the relationship and wished it never happened. I can’t say the execution of it was done well but I can’t say it was a total trash fire either. It’s a 50/50 depending because there are good things I absolutely loved and things that could’ve been improved.

But mostly people are saying that the relationship between Maya and Mia was sabotaged and it would’ve been better if it never happened. I disagree, I prayed for times like this to come—kidding, but the layers of anger and frustration and love in the relationship between them makes the relationship deeper. But we never get to see that in its completion.

Think of Landon and Brandon in GOF. We love them so much because behind that ire and blockage from both sides they came through that and love prevailed. This is why I stand by Rina Kent MALE friendships/relationships. They’re much more complex and thought out than the female friendships which come off as somewhat shallow. I’ll make another rant abt that later.

What I wish was done better was mentioning the difference in Maya, Niko and Mia’s relationship. It’s clear that Niko likes Maya less than Mia. And Maya feels less than Mia because she’s seen that Mia is favored. It’s not Niko’s fault but it’s like an unconscious thing, he’s just closer with her because he sees that he is similar to Mia. It’s a common and natural thing, you’re just closer to people you feel like you can relate with. That checks out.

I feel like even both of Maya’s siblings only see her for what she pushes herself out to be, a shadow diva who sees herself as superior (obviously hiding an inferiority complex). They don’t stop to acknowledge that maybe she’s compensating for something? Especially Nikolai, in that quote saying that he and Mia would fuck up each other’s demons but what abt Maya? You can’t be close to her because she doesn’t have flaws or negative thoughts or demons either?

This feels less like a “it’s Nikolai’s personality” issue and more like a “Rina Kent wrote Maya to be nothing more than her character archetype”

Other than that, I also wanna mention Maya’s relationship with Ilya and how it could enhance her character and dynamics.

Ilya is down to earth, not egotistical like Landon, or notoriously violent or volatile like Nikolai, nor with the high status like Jeremy. He’s a perfect match for Maya.

It’s mentioned by GOR from Mia’s POV that Maya wants someone high status with lots of money (I agree, get it girl slay) but Ilya is not those things. He’s just a bodyguard and the money in comparison isn’t that good. But he can see Maya for who she truly is, someone who is hurt on the inside, insecure and needing some help.

It’s not what she wants but it’s what she needs. She needs someone who won’t isn’t already existing in the circle who prefers Mia to her.

Although I do wanna say that I love the angst in early chapters if Maya felt some jealousy and sadness from believing that Ilya prefers Mia to her (seeing as how Ilya doesn’t regard Maya with the same reverence as other boys do) and he’s actually friendly to Mia while he’s bitchier to Maya. It’s all part of the angst. But endgame wise he would choose Maya cause he sees right through her and is more interested in the true part of her that’s vulnerable and scared to love in fear that the one she loves will love Mia more.

[martianbugsbunny]

ngl I think Sam should've been more involved in Civil War

abject utter rambling under the cut, this is not one of my clean posts this is brain spaghetti on the wall

mostly because it's hard for me to separate Steve and Bucky from Sam, they're hopelessly tangled up in each other thank you very much and I needed more of that from canon

I mean yes I think the final fight between Steve, Bucky, and Tony is beyond my skill to rewrite with Sam in it bc there's something powerful about Steve choosing Bucky over Tony as completely and irrevocably as he did, but on the other hand while it used to be Steve and Bucky against the world now it's Steve, Bucky, and Sam against the world, Sam literally shows up for Steve days after meeting him for the first time, lets him in his house when he's being chased by the government and does some illegal stuff to help him on his mission, but then he also dedicates himself to finding Bucky (assuming I'm remembering that right ??? I hope I am and that's not just fandom brain lmao)

and as moving as it is to see again that Steve still trusts Bucky with himself, I could've done with more of Sam learning to trust Bucky, more of a journey from he's not the kind you save, he's the kind you stop to really understanding what Bucky's been through, how it messes with his mind when the code words are used on him, and maybe Sam doesn't rest at quite the level of trust Steve does but this is the guy that pulled Steve out of a river, this is a guy whose autonomy is fragile, who's trying to rebuild some kind of life for himself, and they keep bickering but we get to see a deeper emotional bond forming between them

maybe Sam wonders where his place is with them, they've known each other longer than most people have been alive and literally nothing can come between them, but he's not between them he's with them, maybe Bucky shields him from an attack with his metal arm, puts his body between Sam and danger like he would with Steve, and Sam starts to realize that he's not a third wheel at all, he already knows Steve trusts and respects him and will turn to him for help before anyone else but he also catches a glimpse of Bucky's feelings for him, what are those feelings? even Bucky's not sure, is it just wanting to protect this person because Steve cares about him, is it just gratitude for being a facilitator in him and Steve starting to knit back together, is it abject wonder at the knowledge that this man has put himself on the line for Bucky (is that just wanting to protect this person because Steve cares about him? is it just repaying the favor from when Bucky pulled Steve out of the river when Sam couldn't get to him?) because nobody but Steve has ever really risked themself for him

just imagine how much sicker the shot would be of them sharing the shield if it was the three of them

imagine instead of Bucky trying to parkour his way out of the facility, Sam tried to fly him out, holding his hands or clutching his waist and maybe griping about how heavy he is a little bit a la Michiru and Haruka but trying so hard to get him out of there before he's killed, and it's not just the roof Tony breaks it's also Sam's wings, he and Bucky spiral back to the ground and Bucky twists them in the air to take the brunt of the landing because he knows he's better able to handle that kind of an impact

when they walk away, they're supporting Bucky between them, Steve has chosen him over the rest of his life except Sam and Sam has fully decided that wherever it goes, he's cashing his chips in with the two of them, he's choosing to stand by Steve in his love of Bucky and he's choosing to stand by Bucky for his own sake

because this movie was never just about the Avengers tearing themselves apart, it was always about Steve and Bucky coming back together, trying to find a way their lives still fit, choosing each other over pain and self-doubt and the government and the Avengers, and it could be about Steve and Bucky and Sam figuring out their places in each other's lives, where do I belong when they've been together since childhood, where do I belong when he's made a new connection without me, where do I belong except with the love I've had all my life and the love I've found lately, where does any one of them belong if not with the other two

it's Steve's undying love for Bucky and his wonder if Bucky still loves him, he knows Bucky remembers him but does he still feel anything? balanced with his new relationship with Sam, a little less hard-won but strong and so precious to him, he trusts this man with his life and the life of the other person he loves most

it's Sam's wholehearted love for Steve and his gradual understanding that loving Bucky has made Steve who he is, that Bucky and Steve are too entwined to separate them into different boxes, it's his realization that you can't love one and not the other, not these two, because they're already holding parts of each other inside of them, and his willingness to defend Bucky because there's a bit of Steve in him that leads to the genesis of loving Bucky for his own merits

it's Bucky's journey back to himself, anchored by the one person he loved when he was himself last, dragged and helped by the person Steve loves now, not knowing if he still belongs but wanting so badly to try, ready to put his life on the line for either of them because they've done the same for him when he doesn't feel he deserves it and yet desperate to live because he has them to do it with

that's the Civil War I've got in my brain, idk

[faceeeeee]

Geometry dash lore interpretation post

I think it's about time that I spread the lore and concepts that I modified for geometry dash because I'm really invested in the game (gameplay wise and lore wise) so here is the summary (warning: it is LONG):

The geometry dash app or game or whatever you'd like to call it is an actual facility in the middle of nowhere. If you go outside you will literally see thousands of miles of absolute darkness and the only light comes from the facility itself. Now if you enter you will find yourself in the menu where you can go to the official levels made by rubrub himself or head to the custom level section.

The darker areas signify how deep below ground the rooms are. There are also some hidden passageways that connect some places like the passageway that connects the shopkeepers shop with scratch's shop.

And I'd like to clarify that I interpret the levels as portals that the players can jump into (as well as the other characters but they aren't exactly supposed to do that...)

This is the same map but I put the in game screenshots to better understand what I mean.

Anyways now onto the characters:

(I don't have any high quality pictures of this guy, so sorry bout that.) He's the player (based off the default cube that you start off when you first boot the game). He's mostly silent and is the source of this conundrum. He represents the regular player's action: going into the levels, buying stuff from the shop and freeing those who shouldn't be freed. There are other cubes/players of course but they are usually doing what they are supposed to do and they stay out of trouble (unlike this miscreant).

We've also got the shopkeepers. The original three are the shopkeeper, Scratch and Potbor: The shopkeeper is just your regular guy just trying to make a living wage; Potbor is a special security droid that acts as surveillance but is disguised as a shopkeeper (he hasn't got a clue of what he's doing) and is rubrubs dear and precious child robot; Scratch is another robot that was thrown away and forgotten about due to his design being flawed (he is a draft design, so to speak), so he found an old abandoned shop left by another shopkeeper and is currently in hiding whilst selling whatever he can find in the trash bins.

Then there are the other new shop owners. The mechanic is the same species as the shopkeeper but due to an incident he has built and installed implants for himself and has now become a cyborg. He is also responsible for creating scratch, Potbor and the diamond shopkeeper. The diamond shopkeeper is just another regular robot shopkeeper that relies on the diamond plastered in his chest to be up and running. Without it, he is good as dead.

And as for their dynamics....

The shopkeeper and scratch are good buddies and they help each other out. And by help each other out I mean the shopkeeper is constantly panicking and saving scratch's ass from being caught.

Potbor is not aware of scratch's existence but if the two were to meet Potbor would neutralise him on the spot.

The mechanic is aware of scratch's existence (obviously) and constantly regrets not killing him when he had the chance so now he has to deal with him trying to get past his security.

And the diamond shopkeeper is...strange. He isn't the brightest tool in the shed but he makes up for it by being the mechanics bodyguard.

Enough shopkeeper stuff, let's move onto the guardians:

Glubfub or the "Key master" is the giant hulk-like beast that is in charge keeping the "demon guarding" locked up (I will bring him up later) and is the guarding of the vault of secrets.

Spooky or "the Guard" is the Tumblr sexyman and is in charge of... something. Rubrub makes him believe that he has the most important job of all and he takes it to heart. Unlike the other guardians he takes his position as a guardian very seriously (that's why he wears the suit but he doesn't really need it) and is rubrub's #1 fan.

The Gatekeeper is the oldest of the guardians and is the closest one to rubrub. Whilst everyone sees lord rubrub as this omnipotent god (which he kinda is) the Gatekeeper (or the old man as I like to call him) sees him as a coworker and is not afraid to tell things straight to his face. He also guards something (not sure what) as well as the key which unlocks one of the demon guardians locks.

And last but not least you've got rubrub himself and the demon guardian. If you know the Og geometry dash lore there's no need for an introduction. Lord Robtop or Rubrub is the boss of the facility and rarely appears within it's walls, opting to rest in his own private chambers. His mortal form is literally just a cube so he had the mechanic build him a robot body (I know he looks like Steve jobs I tell myself that every day).

The demon guardian was originally just a guardian like the others but decided that he was done with idolising and worshipping rubrub and went rogue. Obviously rubrub wasn't having any of that so he attempted to delete him. That failed and now he is this unstoppable beast that can shape shift into anyone (with some limitations) and wants to destroy the facility and escape the void. Robtop stopped him, however, and locked him away in the basement for god knows how long...till the player arrived.

And ONE LAST THING! If you're as obsessed as me you might notice a certain pattern appearing in some of the designs

Well this symbol is a sign of one's devotion for rubrub and almost every single character that is not being hunted down has it. For example: the Gatekeeper has it tattooed in his tongue, Spooky has it in his chest, and the demon guardian has it tattooed in the back of his head but scratched it of with his claws so now he has a scar.

[l-in-the-light]

Why does Law say he hates pirates doing good things in Wano?

Oh, yeah, that, it's been on my mind a lot as well. I partially rambled about it before, but this time I will try to answer it from multiple angles. Because when in doubt, there's one thing that will always come to rescue: analysis! I think the key to understanding that scene is putting it in the correct context.

This is how it all started. Law calls it a rebellion, which is something dangerous especially in the country as oppressed as Wano.

And then we have this scene, few chapters later. Luffy remembered what Law actually told him (he did pay attention!): this was rebellion, it will have consequences, and now Luffy takes it seriously and is worried about people in Okobore town. Law's answer is very interesting here, because it's kinda callback to the one you're asking about:

Those two frames are clearly connected to each other. This is my interpretation of why Law reacted so strongly:

Law knew this rebellion will have bad consequences, and while he mostly complains that it will bring troubles for their alliance and the future raid, he must have been aware already that the biggest backlash will fall on people of Okobore town for something Luffy did without thinking too much about it. And despite knowing that - he doesn't comment on it besides this little comment about "pirates doing nice things for people". He could have scolded Luffy here, tell him how his "good deed" will end and point out that it will be Luffy himself feeling sorry in the end, but... he didn't.

I think he wanted Luffy to see the consequences of his actions, to teach him a lesson (yes, he's trying to teach Luffy something about the world) while just watching over him. He could have just told him (and witness Luffy trying to beat everyone up to defend Okobore town), but that wouldn't make Luffy truly understand that as a pirate he can do whatever he wants and face no consequences: he can just escape from the country, meanwhile those poor folks at Okobore town are stuck living there all their lives and can't just run away. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't the most obvious thing you can do and you need to always think about consequences of your actions or you might do more harm than good.

That last panel is even more interesting because we have actually three different points of view there about what Luffy did: Law's "this doesn't seem right" reaction, Luffy's "We did something right!" and Kiku's "You did something wrong: stealing is wrong". This really shows how Wano arc is just so different from other arcs, kinda more mature in story (but still has stupid gimmicks, god bless Oda for that). Because what makes a good deed truly a good deed? When you're proud of yourself, thinking you helped but actually did it for your own sake (to repay a favour)? Or by abiding to higher morals: don't do right by having to do wrong first? Or making sure to keep in mind consequences of your actions as well, while not even caring to take the credit for the deed? That last one sounds to me like a definition of a hero and while that's Law's prefered answer here raises many interesting question marks. We know by now he idolizes Sora Warrior of the Sea after all.

Law's lesson here concludes. Luffy isn't even there with him, but Law stays firm in his belief, even if it means ignoring people in need at the moment. The lesson extends to the whole of Strawhats crew. Law instead tries to focus on the bigger picture, because one small rebellion is not gonna overturn the whole country so that people can finally live in a better place. Yeah, on the surface it looks contradictionary, Law seems not to care about innocents getting hurt, but he downplays it here because otherwise they will never liberate Wano, instead wasting their strength defending unfortunate folks everywhere and risking the raid getting exposed as the result. There's not always an easy choice to make when wanting to help people.

But that's not all there is to it. Do we still remember what Doflamingo did to Dressrosa? He pretended to be the good guy rescuing people oppressed by their own king, he pretended to liberate them, while it was all pre-arranged. It was also an example of a pirate "doing good thing", at least on the surface, and treated as a hero as the result. I bet it brings back bad aftertaste.

His expression in Wano is kinda similar to the one he makes here (the one in Wano is just not hidden from us, signaling Law is actually more keen on opening up instead of keeping it all bottled up). Let's remember Law didn't sail with Strawhats before Punk Hazard happened. All he knows by that point is what he learned most likely from newspapers. They cause chaos wherever they go. They rescue their friends (Enies Lobby, Sabaody, Arlong Park), even if it means going against Celestial Dragons or the whole World Government. He can't know about Alabasta, because that was officially declared as being Smoker's achievement (but if Doflamingo had his doubts about it then I bet Law had as well. Like teacher, like student). No one knows about Skypiea. Drum's Island was never reported. Why would Law expect pirates to rescue complete strangers and liberating whole nations like some kind of heroes? Why would actually anyone expect that and not be shocked and in disbelief? Even in One Piece universe, pirates aren't usually good people! But back to the Strawhats, everywhere they go they might end up helping, but the country is often left in ruin. Law probably thought Punk Hazard was some kind of exception, a whim, on Strawhats end. In Dressrosa he still expects Luffy to just scramble out of the country to save his own ass.

Law is so surprised that Luffy actually cares about Dressrosa. He even sold them the plan of going against Kaido to catch Luffy's interest, he told him kidnapping was just to cause chaos, it's all the compelling reasons aimed for someone who likes some disorder. And then Luffy drops him this bomb: he actually genuinely cares about what will happen to the country and that despite spending only half a day in it. Just few moments later Law will find out it was all because Luffy had a food debt to Rebecca. Coincidentally, food debt was also involved in Wano. If you put it all into context like that, it becomes clear why Law tries to teach Luffy a lesson about it. It's fine if he wants to repay the favour to people, but he needs to think of the consequences. There might be a better way of doing things to help folks. And even though Luffy has his problems accepting it, he eventually listens. He could leave Udon at one point but he doesn't, focusing on training instead, thinking this is the better option. Just before the raid the news about Okobore town getting burned to the ground reaches the Strawhats (which is also a direct consequence of Luffy's "rebellion"/good deed right from the beginning of the arc), but Luffy doesn't do anything about it. I would say it worked, Luffy did learn his lesson.

But wait a second, this is all working only basing it on assumption that Law actually cares about countries and innocents. He doesn't, right? He was the one to propose to leave the children behind in Punk Hazard, he's the one suggesting they should escape and leave Dressrosa to it's own fate. That's all true, but in Zou Law says something contradictory to that:

He's also the only one who reacts different than everyone else in the conclusion of Dressrosa:

His expression is almost the same as the one he had in flashback with Corazon. He's terrified, he thinks people of the D. are monstrous. Instead of looking at the people celebrating that the country is free again, he looks at all the rubble and destruction. But I don't think he thinks Luffy's a monster. He's probably a bit lost what to feel about all of this. Yes, the people were saved, but also yes, the country was completely destroyed as the result. There were probably better ways of handling the situation, but he won't criticize anyone outloud: he thinks he's also partially responsible for this result, after all (he's also a D. and he also fought Doflamingo alongside Luffy. He made his own choice that contributed to the overall conclusion).

But then which one is the truth? When Law says to forget the innocents getting hurt? Or when he scolds Luffy to care more about the country and the people in it? I would say: it's up to you to decide. Oda plants that line in his manga ever since Whitebeard did his speech at Marineford. What do you believe in?

I personally believe that Law cares for innocent people not getting hurt. I have my rational argument for that. It's the golden rule of One Piece: any character with their eyes hidden or obscured isn't completely honest (it's not 100% foolproof rule, but is very often true). When Law tells Luffy to forget Dressrosa, his eyes are shaded. In Zou, his eyes are clear like a cloudless sky when he expresses his worry about minks. That's the truth I choose, but I would choose it even if I didn't believe in that rule. Because I just want to believe Law when he says he cares, no matter if he started off with that belief or if it changed along the way while interacting with Strawhats.

Also there is a fun parallel with Law and Bonney going on, just look at it:

She's also reacting exactly like Law. "Who heard of a pirate helping people?!" doing disgusted face as well. Despite that, her personal view is "Don't help a soul (unless they really need it)!". There's also a contradiction here. Even around the Revolutionary Army Bonney is a bit torn, she's like "I trust you guys to take care of Daddy" but at the same time she's shocked or even uncomfortable when Sabo shows her kindness. Despite knowing that Kuma trusted revolutionaries she still couldn't react differently, expecting those strangers to act unkind. I think it's the result of her childhood. Besides few chosen people and her dad, everyone in the village avoided and feared her, also kids made fun of her, so Bonney is not really fond of strangers as the result. It's a sign of her trauma and both she and Law share it. He also heard ever since he was a child that he's a monster because of his disease and was avoided as the result, and it made him very avoidant and distrustful towards people in general. So is it that strange he also reacts the same way Bonney does? He just doesn't expect people to care all that much about strangers, because he also was a stranger once that no one (besides Cora-san) cared about. Neither of them might ever be open to strangers as the result or at least it will take them a huge effort to overcome their initial reactions and learn to trust people again.

Other possible reason factoring into his reaction is Law's possible low self-esteem. He never takes any credit for the good deeds he does. He might actually not like being a pirate all that much or think of himself highly because of it. Even though it's an anime-only extension, Law reacts very strongly when Sanji in Germa's suit says "I'm neither evil or righteous! I'm just a soba mask". It literally leaves him speechless. He probably never thought that it's even possible to think of things this way.

And we see in Wano that Law's moral code also isn't black and white. He was willing to risk the raid, the alliance even, just to save his own crew. That's always his priority and he would sacrifice anything as long as people dear to him are safe. Obviously he's smart so he must be aware of that contradiction in himself and I doubt he thinks of himself as hypocrite. But despite that, and despite everyone trying to stop Law from leaving and destroying everything they worked for, Shinobu is the one who curiously manages to stop him. She tells him this is their only chance to even try to win back their own country and that they prepared for it for 20 years. And that doesn't leave Law unaffected. He probably can relate to that, after all he had his plan against Doflamingo brewing for at least 10 years.

It's probably easier for him to care for other people when he can relate to them in some way. And as a result of this, he adjusts his plan to rescue his crewmates in such a way that doesn't actually destroy Akazaya Nine's efforts, proving yet again that he actually cares for people other than his crew. And we know he does, he did help the kids in Punk Hazard at the very end of the arc out of his own free will (they probably reminded him of kids in Flevance, also uncared for and sick, left to die), he did care about Dressrosa at the end of the day (it was the kingdom Cora-san wanted to save so of course it would matter to Law!), he cares for minks (they took care of his crew for quite a while, and also it's the homeland of his best friend Bepo), and he does care about Wano and the samurais, because he can also relate to their efforts and struggles.

But does it mean he overall believes himself to be a good person? It's likely that he doesn't. In the light novel he even calls himself pathetic and for things that are completely out of his control and aren't even his fault. When he says the line: "pirates doing good things disgust me" he's also making a statement about himself: he does good things, he's a pirate, he feels disgusted about himself. After all besides doing the things mentioned above, he also did steal hearts of 100 pirates at Rocky Port Incident (though we lack context of what exactly happened that lead to this outcome). And maybe that's why Luffy makes it such a big deal to repeat it all the time that he has faith in him, that Law is a good person. Because he might know that Law needs to hear it most of all.

I hope that sounds like a satisfying answer to you, anon! This is my best shot at this. Sorry it was late, but sometimes I just need to sit on it for a while so I can actually take the time needed to gather all the relevant scenes and my own thoughts all together.