#and it's old image of him as a bad boy vs new .... image of him (which is either that he's retired and sick of that whole thing...

[theloveinc]

Yes I do think there is something in the idea of former boy band star!bakugo and reuniting with his old band --

[not-your-bro]

what i did and didn't (but mostly didn't) like about until dawn remake's character trait changes

hello friends and fans. i am super excited to welcome all my pals back to the latest episode of Laura Yaps About Until Dawn Remake. i've talked about the prologue here and here, and i plan on talking about other elements of the game (visuals, gameplay, narrative changes) whenever life and time allows.

before i go off about the character traits, thanks to @claarria for posting this handy side-by-side of old vs new. super helpful! i'll be using those images here.

and generally speaking, let it be known that i think the font change is so fucking ugly 💖 like god bless but it is so bad 💖💖 and they've made the layout so much less dynamic by just listing all the traits straight down, bullet point style?? it is all very microsoft powerpoint core and it sucks. anyway. onto the characters, in order of appearance.

sam

off topic but very importantly, how did they fuck up sam's face THAT bad?? ballistic moon sapped the life out of her and now there is literally nothing behind those eyes. HOMEGIRL WAKE UP 👏👏

one trait change here: adventurous -> brave. not wrong, but super redundant, because brave is one of the character stats in the menu, so like. at any point when i'm playing her, i can pop in the menu and see exactly how brave she is. it's pointless to put it here.

chris

one change: methodical -> loyal. and honestly. this one slays i can't lie. like yeahhhh 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

i know everyone loves to hate on chris now, but he pushes to help sam even when it puts himself at risk and he goes to the shed to get josh even though josh just traumatized the hell out of him lmao. boy is loyal asf and i'm more than happy to see it replace methodical.

jess

big changes here. i'm not jazzed to see confident go. i always thought smg included it purposefully, because this is how jess is trying to come across, even though she's actually insecure.

and imo trusting fits her far better than, say, driven. based on em's comment about her grades (and the fact that jess doesn't deny it lmao), i don't think she has much drive or ambition at this point in her life. she's always struck me as the kind of person who doesn't have a big dream or passion, and as high school graduation approaches she would feel sort of aimless? like she doesn't know where to go next.

i don't mean these as negatives, btw. jess is a top 3 ud character for me. i just don't think she's driven. and i think she is irreverent. and that's fine. 💖

emily

one change: persuasive -> forthright. like sam's change, this isn't wrong. emily is definitely forthright. but i don't like that we're shifting her further from mike (more on that later), and this change makes her use of words seem less purposeful. like she says what she wants just for the sake of it, instead of: she knows what to say to get people to do what she wants.

matt

matt's trait changes make for a much different impression. motivated and ambitious have been swapped with obliging and dependable, which shifts the focus from himself to others. we're drawing attention to an agreeable, go-with-the-flow personality, rather than the fact that he's got big dreams for himself (get that scholarship, bud).

i'm not sure i'm the biggest fan, because it kind of makes him seem like a doormat? it's possible that he never talks to emily about how she treats him, and he does film the prank on hannah even though he doesn't seem like he would. still...i guess i wish there was more of a mix here. he can be obliging and dependable, but he doesn't have to be, depending on your choices, and this really makes him feel like everything he does is for the sake of others.

mike

i appreciate ballistic moon pulling these shots back a little - some of them were really, like, up the character's nose lmfao. but bro those traits are unreadable against mike's skin 😭😭

anyway, mikey gets a complete overhaul. i've been over brave with sam. it's a waste of a slot. and it's not that mike isn't driven or charismatic. i mean, he is definitely charismatic, given his popularity in fandom. even i have this feeling of 'man, i should not be charmed by him' <- is definitely charmed by him. but i think we're losing a lot by separating him from emily, with whom he used to share 2 out of 3 traits (intelligent and persuasive). i always thought that said a lot about why they would be drawn to each other and start a relationship - but also why that relationship wouldn't last.

if i were to give mike any new trait, it'd probably be impulsive, which i think is a great fit for him. mike may be intelligent, but when it comes to decisions, he's a man of action - a doer, not a thinker. which is just as likely to lead to a bad outcome as it is a good one.

ashley

one change here (forthright -> sensitive), but god does it fucking suck. SENSITIVE?????? be fr. is ashley sensitive or is she traumatized nonstop for eight hours? she was upset when she was chained to a wall and thought she was going to die! when she thought her friend died! when she thought her other dead friend's ghost was trying to communicate with them! when she was put in a life-or-death trap a second time! that sure was sensitive of her!

if i could revert only one trait change, it would be this one. 0/10.

josh

must be said that josh's shot is much better in the remake. it could not have been worse, like i will never understand how anyone looked at that half-closed eye and open mouth and was like yeah that's a good first impression LMAO. so, cool with that.

tbh i also like josh's trait changes? this is another total overhaul, but honestly, at the risk of getting booed offstage, i'm happy with this. if i'm being real, complex was always a waste of a slot. like...yeah? i hope so? all of your characters should be complex to some degree. it feels like a weird shade to the other characters to point out one guy, specifically, as complex. so the rest of them are simple, then? 🤨 it's not that i would argue against josh being the most complex - i do think he is (though i realize my stance on that means little because i'm up this man's ass). it's just weird to draw attention to it.

as for the other traits, yeah, josh is thoughtful and loving. for sure. but i feel like these are sort of...level 2 traits. ykwim? and the new traits are level 1. if you hung out with josh in a casual way, in a group setting, remake traits would be more likely to spring to mind, to match that initial impression. i think you'd have to look more closely or spend more time to clock that he's thoughtful and loving, because outside of his sisters, i don't think he's particularly straightforward or overt in the way he conveys those things, and he wouldn't draw attention to them. maybe i'm leaning too hard on the version of him i've fleshed out in my mind, but josh is the kind of guy who would, like, remember one offhand comment matt made about liking a specific brand of beer. months later, at the next lodge trip, it's there in the fridge, and josh says nothing about it. but he remembered, and he got it. that's josh's brand of thoughtfulness. in my opinion.

none of these six traits are wrong, i just think the new ones are better 'first impression' traits for him.

[holylulusworld]

Golden Boy vs. Dirty Boy (1) - The base

Summary: You end up between two tidal waves.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!Reader x Soldier Boy

Warnings: banter, arguments, sexism, misogyny (SB), fighting, violence, talk about sex, characters death (the bad guys), mentions of decapitation

Golden Boy vs. Dirty Boy masterlist

“Did you have to break that man’s neck? You didn’t even give him the chance to fight back,” Steve complains on your way toward the next complex of the building you, Steve, and a new ally, calling himself Soldier Boy try to infiltrate.

Well, he’s not new in this world. Rather an old archenemy slash concurrent of Steve. Locked away for centuries, just like his super-soldier counterpart. Soldier Boy is a stark contrast to your ever so gentlemanly and old-fashioned Captain.

“Do I look like I give a single fuck?” Soldier Boy flashes you a smirk while insulting your Captain. “How about you give them pet names and offer tea while I rip their heads off for killing innocent people for fun?” He challenges now. “When they signed up for becoming mass-murders they knew what they were getting into.”

“Cap, he’s not wrong,” you interject, hoping you can stop them from butting heads, or worse. “We shouldn’t waste more time, though. There are only three of us, and there are hundreds of them. Backup is not available for another five hours. So, let’s get in without making too much noise, get the information, and start the countdown to destroy the base.”

“Good idea, agent Y/L/N,” Steve ignores Soldier Boy’s angry stare and pats your shoulder. “Always so reliable and loyal.”

“Sure, Captain.” You quickly reply, unsure why Steve’s eyes look a little darker. You stare at his mouth for a moment, mesmerized by the way his tongue wets his sinfully pink lips. “Anytime.”

“I bet I can make her salute even faster,” you squeak when Soldier Boy grabs a handful of your ass. Leaving you stunned and oddly aroused. He’s crass and misogynic, loud and just the right kind of wrong, “while my cock ruins her sweet ass.”

“First and final warning,” Steve raises his index finger at Soldier Boy. The thick vein in his neck bulges, and damn that man is flexing his muscles. He grimaces, and angrily glares at Soldier Boy while images of his bearded face between your thighs make your knees buckle.

“OR what?” Soldier Boy challenges. “Do you think you can stop me from ripping that cute tactical suit off of her ripe body and make her cunt my home? I don’t think so.”

“Guys.” You sigh and forget about your secret fantasies for a moment. “We don’t have time for this. If we don’t change position, we are all fucked, not only my juicy ass.”

“What?” Steve swallows thickly at your words. His concurrent whistles and makes another crude comment about your ass.

“MOVE!” You grunt and push against Steve’s back. “I don’t want to end up dead because you had to fight with him again. Shield accepted him on the team. Stop moping and start moving your asses before I slap your bum.”

“You want to slap my bum, agent?” Steve cocks a brow, looking more amused than surprised. “I’d like to see you try.”

“I’m not against a little spanking,” Soldier Boy throws in. “On both ends, sweetness. Let’s get out of here and inside my apartment. I’m gonna show you heaven.” He looks you up and down, and hums. “Or hell, if you want me to.”

“I want you to shut up and do your job,” you snap at the cocky supe. “I know you two believe we all are only foot soldiers following your lead, but this is my mission, and you will do as I say. Move soldier, now.”

Steve watches you dismantle Soldier Boy’s charm. He grins and nods in your direction. “Let’s hurry then, agent. We don’t want to ruin your mission.”

“Aw, he tries to impress you with his submissive side,” Soldier Boy cackles. “I’m not some foot soldier you can order around, sweet cheeks. After we finish this, you’ll pay for yelling at me.”

“Eat me,” you bite back. “If you are brave enough.”

You stomp off, Steve hot on your heels. Soldier Boy watches you leave. He licks his lips and cups his crotch. “Oh, I will eat you, sweetness…”

“Y/N, down!” Steve throws his shield at another enemy. He growls your name and throws himself into battle to run another attacker over. “Down, agent.”

“The fuck no!” You fire your last bullet at the next guy attacking Steve. “I’m not some damsel in distress.” You pant, and slam your fist into the last man’s face, breaking his nose. He grunts and tries to take you down.

“Hey, that’s my pound of flesh to pound,” Soldier Boy throws his shield at the man attacking you. He decapitates his head, laughing as you shriek and ungracefully jump backward. You land on your ass, crawling away as the head rolls toward you.

“What did I say about killing people?” Steve grunts while you try to not look at the head, and the dead man’s eyes staring back at you.

“I had to save our damsel in distress.” Soldier Boy shrugs. He picks up his shield, cleaning it on the recently deceased man's jacket. “Now, back to the mission. I want to get out of this suit and inside a warm cunt.”

“Gross,” Steve holds out his hand to help you up while your other team member is busy looking inside the cabinets at the laboratory you successfully infiltrated.

“You’re jealous, that’s all,” Soldier Boy opens another cabinet. “I can fuck whoever I want without ruining my reputation.”

“Shut up!” You grunt. “You almost killed me with that fucking shield!”

“You’re alive, and still got your tongue to talk back,” he shrugs. “What do we have here?” Grabbing a vial he smirks. “Do you think this is a drug? Maybe kinky shit helping you get the stick out of your ass, Cappy?”

“Don’t touch shit at the lab!” You try to stop Soldier Boy from doing something stupid. Again. It’s not the first time he got you into trouble.

“DON’T!” Steve screams as Soldier Boy carelessly drops the vial to the ground. “You idiot! NO!”

“Steve, what’s wrong?”

“He just killed us all,” Steve runs toward the broken vial to read the broken seal. “No, it’s even worse.”

“What can be worse than getting killed?” You huff.

“He doomed us to do the unspeakable,” the captain replies.

“Damn, I’m jazzed,” Soldier Boy claps his hands and grins at Steve. “What will we do?”

“Fuck.” Steve replies.

“Yeah, well we got that we are fucked, Steve,” you pat Steve’s shoulder. “But what was in the vial, and what will happen?”

“WE WILL FUCK. Anything and anyone coming to our path until it’s out of our system, Y/N. And if you don’t step away, I’ll go for you first,” Steve turns back around. His eyes are dilated, and he salivates as his eyes roam your body. “Get away from me. Now.”

“Fuck? OH!” Soldier Boy grins. “We will fuck!” He snickers. “Let’s do this then. I can’t wait to get my dick inside of you and ruin your holes.”

“Guys, that’s not funny,” you giggle, but press your legs together. “We should call for help. Right?”

Soldier Boy looks at Steve and then at you. He doesn't feel the influence yet but is more than happy to have the chance to get his hands on you and Steve.

“So, who wants to get dicked down first?”

Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[starry-bi-sky]

Hello!! Question about clone^2, what are the styles of Danny and Damian? Like day to day stuff for example. Does Danny buy Damian the traditional 8 yr old clothes (dinosaurs with sunglasses tees, stuff like that) or does Damian already have a style he likes? And Danny! I know that Sam gives Danny various punk hairstyles and that he prefers gender neutral stuff but outside of that what would Danny wear in general?

You don’t have to answer of course, but I’ll give you a thank you in advance!

- kindest regards, Gas Can

I LOVE GETTING ASKS NO WORRIES MY GUY. AS MY FAVORITE SAYING GOES 'THE QUICKEST WAY TO STARRY'S HEART IS THROUGH HER ASK BOX'.

And I love this question, this is a good one!! If damian's 8 then he's been around the fenton house for about a year or so. I can't see baby dames ever willingly wearing traditional child-like clothes, at least not in the beginning when he first arrives at the Fenton house. Which he'd be around 6-7.

Danny tells him (with the help of google translate) that he's going shopping to buy him new clothes sometime during Damian's early stay since the little man had been wearing the same clothes he arrived in for a while (which you can find here with the reblog of the colored version) and honestly he probably asks damian if he wants to come along to pick something out. he doesn't know the kid's style and it might be a bad idea because damian might make a run for it, but danny's caught him before at this point.

(plus he'll need help carrying bags - his hands are freshly injured and still smarting. they're not as bad as they will be in the future, but hand injuries hurt. consider it repayment for being the cause of it, damian)

And early Damian would choose clothes that remind him most of the league - so dark colors, more formal styles, think like how you'd imagine his original template to dress like, if you will. Danny is side-eyeing him in judgy bewilderment, but says nothing other than to complain about the price tag. Of which Damian has no idea what he's saying. He'd stick with those clothes until he has his little moment with Danny in the OPS Center where he finally tells him he's a clone (even though Danny already knows) and that he doesn't want to go back. After that he'd reluctantly and steadily start branching out.

So eight year old Damian, whose begun to chill out more and act more like a child his age would? I don't think he'd ever wear graphic t-shirts about kids shows, but I can see him wearing graphic tees of like, animal facts on it, animals, stars, etc etc, and then plain shirts in a variety of increasing color. I have this mental image that Danny buys Damian one of those joke shirts that says "bro I'm 8" / "this is what an awesome eight year old looks like" (with two thumbs pointing at itself) and Damian wears it to school a week later. Damian's variety of shirts increases the more comfortable he gets and the more he comes into his own identity.

Damian also, steadily, keeps stealing Danny's flannels even if they're almost comically large on him. They're comfy and he's embracing his role as baby brother (and also he really looks up to him because he understands, to an extent, of what danny's done for him). Danny and the Fentons start buying Damian his own after a while because, well, he can't keep taking Danny's.

And Danny! I'm so glad you mentioned Danny, my favorite GNC boy. I keep forgetting myself sometimes that I gave him long hair, even if it is my favorite thing about him. And honestly? Danny doesn't really do much with his hair if Sam isn't styling it. He usually lets it stay down on his head, and then pulls it back into a ponytail or a half-ponytail at school depending on what he's doing (gym vs a test).

He keeps it in a ponytail as phantom to keep it out of his face, and then when he's working on a Ghost Case he sometimes has it up in a (messy™) bun because the feeling of having his hair on his neck when its in a ponytail drives him nuts, especially when sleep deprived. Sam teaches him how to braid it back into a simple braid and its become a new fidget for him to braid his hair and then unbraid it. It's easier to keep off his face than a ponytail, so he sometimes braids it back when he's sneaking out as phantom. It happens more often once he gets skilled at it.

And danny's style! I know you probably only meant his hairstyle, but I also wanna talk about his aesthetic! He doesn't really put much into his appearance. Very teenager-y boy 'threw on the first thing i saw on a hanger/floor' type, but he kinda has a bit more of a casual, soft grungy-like look as an older teen. Just some hints of Sam's influence - and you know what, some of Tucker's as well because that's his best friend too.

(Off topic but 19yo Danny from my Childhood Friends Dead On Main au has a similar style that's a bit soft punk as well, and that is somewhat more intentional on CFAU Danny's part. Why make an au if I can't play dress up with my favorite character? :))

Mostly because I read a Spider-Man x DP fic that described Danny (from an outsider's pov) as looking kinda like a skater boy who listens to alt rock music and it's been my personal interpretation of him ever since. So he has band tees, flannels, graphic tees with jokes on them, shirts with astronomy facts on them, and idk if he'd ever buy ripped jeans but Sam has certainly bought him some and they fit so *shrugs* he wears them. And he has one or two of those denim jackets with the hoodie sewn inside it. And from Tucker he has a few turtlenecks because Tucker reads as a turtleneck-kinda guy, geek chic-ish.

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week (#176):

6 new Romanian films:

🍿 After listening to the angelic voice of Maria Coman, I wanted to re-visit some Romanian films.

Acasă, My Home, a raw, unexpected gem! A quiet documentary (with no music score!) about a family of feral Romas (9 kids and their stubborn parents) who live isolated from society, in a nature reserve just outside Bucharest. Filthy, proud, tight-knit and independent, they are eventually chased out of their shack and subsistence living, and struggle with their integration into the system. With a surprise cameo by Prince Charles (WTF?) who shows up for a UN ceremony to plant a tree. Sublime 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes. 9/10.

🍿 Betisoare rock n'roll (2010) a moving short about a deaf woman who goes to a concert, to find the singer. She's his mother who gave him up for adaption 35 years prior. 10/10.

🍿 Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn, an absurdist, post-modernist riddle by infant-terrible Radu Jude. A history teacher at a secondary school films a sex tape with her husband, but the video leaks on the internet. Everybody around her is scandalized and she has to attend a raucous free-for-all parent conference, where they get to vote if she should be expelled or not.

It's a wild, uneven film. It boldly opens with and features several hardcore pornographic scenes without any excuses. It also uses experimental / structuralist tropes a-la-Godard, which makes this into a jarring experience; The first act basically follows the teacher as she keeps walking through the noisy streets. The second act is a provocative pastiche of images and thought-bubbles which criticizes the schizophrenic, reactionary Romanian society today, dealing with ignorance, sexism, xenophobia, the trauma of history, as well as misinformation during the Covid years. The third act, of the 'trial' against the teacher, offers three different outcomes, including a surprising dream-vision where the teacher turns into Wonder Woman, and she fucks the mouths of all the attendees with a giant silver dildo.

🍿 I was planning on exploring Radu Jude's complete works, but (after that ^) I will continue another time. Instead, I just saw his first touching film The Tube with the Hat (2006). A village boy convinces his dad to take their broken TV set to a repairman in the city. Show, don't tell.

🍿 The dictator and his servant, an odd, experimental short from 1967. Found on 'Cinepub', a free YouTube channel with over 900 Romanian films. [*Female Director*].

🍿 2 Lottery Tickets (2016), a lighthearted and sweet comedy about 3 hapless, bumbling losers from a sleepy provincial town, who win the lottery but lose the ticket. Low-key, but assured directing style, follows wretched situation without condemnation. 8/10.

🍿

Waking Ned is a 1998 feel-good Irish comedy that was the inspiration for '2 Lottery Tickets', the Romanian film above. The plot deals with Ned Devine who dies from a heart attack, when he hears on the telly that his numbers match the big lottery winning numbers. And with the whole tiny village which conspires to claim the big prize money. The simple, rustic wholesomeness is being excessively idolized, but it ends on a surprising twist. 5/10.

[Extra - Not-A-Movie-But - Spark, an infectious rap video that some County Cork kids just made!].

🍿

Barbara Stanwyck X 3:

🍿 Meet John Doe, Frank Capra's wholesome, politically-naive tale. An average Joe Shmoe, an "Everyman", (but one who looks just like Gary Cooper), becomes a lightning rod for a populist 3rd party candidate. An ordinary citizen vs. money and corruption in government. 'Come together' and be 'Nicer to your neighbors'. (Screenshot Above).

🍿 "Use men - to get the things you want!"

Baby face was an extreme pre-Code story of a young woman using sex to advance in the world. Stanwick goes from a 14-year old daughter, sexually-abused by her pimp-father, to a serial seductress who heartlessly ends up with the president of the bank. No wonder The Hays Office was able to clamp down on morality and filth in the movie business around that time. Blatant whoring and early feminist sentiments, mixed with motivation born of reading some Nietzsche philosophy. Too much for the poor plebeians suffering from The depression. With a 2-line cameo by John Wayne. WOW! 8/10.

🍿 "Once I watched my big brother shave..."

Ball of Fire, a 1941 Howard Hawks screwball comedy with a ridiculous premise. A group of stodgy "professors", all bachelors except of one widower, live in an old-fashioned boarding house while writing an encyclopedia. The old men, all foreigners but Gary Cooper, know nothing about sex, but are all titillated when a young woman takes refuge there. They are anti-intellectual, creepy and infantile, and the whole story was difficult to swallow. 💯 score on Rotten Tomatoes, but only 1/10 on mine.

🍿

"These are fantastic mushrooms..."

(Not to be too personal, but I feel quite melancholic recently, what with the looming end of the world, destruction of all life, etc. So, the only remedy is to lose myself for the 15th, 16th, Nth time in Palm Springs, and forget that soon we'll all be dead too.) Another (very) frequent re-Watch ♻️.

🍿

The slender thread was Sydney Pollack's first feature film, and also the first film featuring Dabney Coleman. A mixed bag social drama, with young Sidney Poitier working at the then-new suicide prevention hotline, and trying to save the life of Anne Bancroft, who had just ingested a bunch of pills. With a fantastic score by Quincy Jones, and evocative locations of 1965 Seattle. But the psychological play between the the two is dated and ham-fisted. Nobody today would treat her as clumsily and unprofessionally as it was then. 4/10.

RIP, Dabney Coleman!

🍿

Challengers, the new Health and Wealth soft-core porn-drama for bi-curious teenagers. Tennis and Threesomes, served in a slick, non-linear package. Lush cinematography (and irritating tecno-score by the otherwise always-outstanding Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross). Surprisingly (or maybe not), it's the latest from Luca Guadagnino, but doesn't compare to his so much better 'Desire Trilogy'. I wish he would just stay in Italy! 4/10, mostly for the initial seduction scene.

🍿

2 more with Denzel Washington:

🍿 My first by Carl Franklin, Devil in a Blue Dress, a 1948's LA Neo-Noir. It's obvious that they were going for a Chandler style 'Chinatown' clone, but with a black hero, Hunky Denzel in his white undershirt. There was a moment where they even say nearly verbatim "Just find the girl, Mr. Gittes" but without Noah Cross's deep, guttural voice, and definitely without his gravitas. 5/10.

🍿 The Equalizer, a re-watch ♻️. I felt like a silent vigilante movie, and this was is actually pretty good, especially the meticulous, quiet build-up. The violent action portions I could do without. 7/10.

🍿

"...Daddy won't be living here anymore..."

Shut the Door. Have a Seat, one of Mad Men's greatest episodes, Season 3 finale. A perfectly-perfect 47 minutes of pure economic drama. Concise dialogue, compact story telling, classic build up. Everybody's invited to hear unexpected news, by being told to 'sit down'. And it ends with all the suffering characters, from the glacially-beautiful Betty Draper, to Sally, her 10 yer old daughter. moving on with their lives, while Roy Orbison sings 'Shahdaroba' in the background. "When a dream dies... And a heart cries... Shahdaroba Is the word they whisper alone..."Another regular 10/10 Re-Watch ♻️.

🍿

3 by Dutch animator Mascha Halberstad:

🍿King sausage (2022) is a weirdly-animated musical about love among the offals. 2 butchers duke it out in a small town sausage competition. The descriptions of the meats are not for vegetarians. The language sounds extremely harsh. 7/10.

🍿 In Goodbye mister de Vries, a 93 year old man receives a package with his childhood skates, and tries to go skating on the ice one more time.

🍿In the weird Pregnant (2015) a guy pisses up on a pregnancy test thingie, to discover that he's expecting a baby. [*Female Director*].

🍿

I only decided to give the new horror film For sale a try because it looks like the world I knew so well. Shady salesmen and dirty real estate tricks. I knew I would probably hate it, but maybe it will be accurate? However, the actor who played the sleazeball piece of shit Realtor had as much charisma as the character he played, and as soon as the standard "horror" tropes appeared on screen, it was time to pack it in. Couldn't finish it.

I still would like to find some realistic new real estate movies [besides '99 homes', 'The big short', 'Glengarry Glen Ross'...?]

🍿

Chloë Sevigny’s debut film as a director, Kitty (2016). A little girl dreams of becoming a kitten, and then she turns into one. Moody and unsettling. [*Female Director*].

🍿

2 First generation A.I. nightmares by obscure indie director Damon Packard:

🍿 The Man Who Couldn’t Miss Screenings an imaginative agony of a on obese, middle-age cinephile, sitting at home on his computer, being hen-picked by his nagging Chinese wife, who doesn't appreciate his love for the art of moving pictures... All that played against Pink Floyd's 'Comfortably numb'. It hits too close to home. man! Made in 2023, which means that the A.I. is very passé, so this is nearly an historic document. Astounding 9/10!

🍿 The Sleeping Audience, another early onset nightmare fuel about mass scare, audiences sleeping through real messages about the end of the world, but waking up when the 'fake' movie starts. [Terrific, but the audience is all black for some reason- ?]

Apparently this guy had been making indie movies under the rader for 40 years. Many more of his new A.I. shorts can be found on his YouTube channel. (Including the nightmarish Welcome to the machine, which is based on the famous photo of Roger Waters riding the subway...)

(My r/truereddit post about him was deleted for some reasons...)

🍿

(My complete movie list is here).

[rydenfanfiction]

Ryden Recs Part Three

Sit Tight (I’m Gonna Need You To Keep Time) Despite the drumming now loud in his ears, the image of Brendon sitting at the piano with his fingers sliding effortlessly up and down the keys to the melody of Hey Jude was still lingering in Ryan’s mind when a completely different image filled his entire consciousness.

Sixteen, Clumsy And Shy “How long till your parents are home?” Awkward teenage mutual first time sex.

Skinny Elbows Brendon hates Ryan’s skinny elbows.

Skinny Jeans and Red Plastic Cups Are No Longer the Proper Accouterments At 33, Brendon’s come a long way from his Panic days, but some things never change.

Skinny Ross Ryan Ross is just too damn skinny.

Sleeping/Dreaming Patterns It was raining when Brendon landed back in the states.

Sleepover Princes vs. Goodnight Girls Ryan totally has a thing for Pete Wentz. Brendon should be happy for him, right?

Smile Brendon opts to stay home from a night of partying and finds out what’s been wrong with Ryan for the past few weeks

Smoke and Mirrors “Don’t say anything, okay. I’m Brendon, and I’d very much like to be your friend, maybe even something more, but if not that’s okay. I want to be your friend.”

Smudged Ryan Ross is a huffy little bitch who cares way too much about his stupid makeup.

Snow Falling Like Stars A Panic! fairytale.

Snowball Ryan is winter and Brendon’s getting cold.

So Apparently I’m Going to Hell Brendon has died, and gone to hell. Literally. Too bad he doesn’t know why.

So Catch Me Up It’s not so different from before, really— a dance and a stage and words, choreographed and predictable. Ryan could do the steps in his sleep.

So Frantic For The… Brendon’s got a new girl now and Ryan is getting completely beside himself.

So It Seems I’m Someone This is a story about Ryan pulling Brendon’s pants up, and also about boys who grow up.

So This is the New Year Brendon comes home one day and finds a man crouching under his table hiding. A sci-fi.

Socks

Ryan doesn’t like Brendon’s new socks.

Somebody Brendon goes to the movies by himself when he brushes shoulders with a boy whose eyes take his breath away.

Something More When Brendon transferred to his rival school, he didn’t expect his life to be so complicated. He didn’t expect Ryan Ross.

Something New Brendon has a bad day so Ryan cheers him up.

Something Physical The Avengers/Bandom crossover

Something Real Ryan is a hard working single father of the four-year-old Jamie.

Something Unexpected Pretty soon, something is going to break. And Ryan’s afraid it’s going to be him.

Somewheresville When Ryan hopped on a train to nowhere, he didn’t expect to meet someone who would change his whole life. Now, if only he could figure out what’s going on…

Song Of The Sea Running has been Ryan’s form of stress relief since high school, but one day he ran into more trouble than he anticipated in the form of Brendon, a mermaid.

Songs About Money Ryan is a rich boy who hates rich people. He rebels against his parents’ lifestyle and does whatever he can to avoid “mingling” with people of his “kind”. Well, this is until he comes across another rich kid who somehow manages to change his opinions.

Songs of Struggle Brendon’s blind and Ryan loves him.

Souls Like The Wheels When Brendon loses his memory, Ryan clings to what’s left of him.

South Carolina is for Lovers Every night Dream stands on stage and tells the audience that Brendon is a virgin. It’s true until South Carolina.

Spies Like Us The movies never show what comes after “Mission Accomplished”. There’s a good reason for that.

Spilled Ink What happens when Jon and Spencer run out of condoms, but still go at it? A bundle of cells perhaps. Don’t let the mpreg scare you. Colour Outside the Lines Sequel. Ryan finds out his husband of three years is pregnant, and he’s not exactly ready for kids.

Spin Cycle Brendon has exhausted his arsenal of T-shirt hiding places, but refuses to accept the fact that his T-Rex shirt is gone.

Star Shaped This is the sequel to an MCR kid!fic, Forever, Now, which is Brendon centric. But it’s easy to read as a standalone. Brendon is Mikey and Gerard’s lonely babysitter who meets Ryan when he starts helping out at Brian (the guy who adopted Mikey and Gerard)’s work. Cute!

Starlight, Starbright, (If You Wanna Kiss The Sky, Better Learn How To Kneel) In which Ryan is so infatuated with Pete Wentz that he’s willing to bring him a fallen star to win his heart. It was all going according to plan, except that the fallen star just so happens to be Brendon.

Stay With Me Brendon is sick, Ryan comforts him.

Sticky Lips (So Close Now)Ryan has a thing for Brendon in lipstick.

Strange and Beautiful Brendon is alone, in the middle of the night, two dollars and a gum stick in his pocket, a too thin jacket over his shoulders and nowhere to go. Cue Jon Walker. Great!

Strictly Business Cruel Intentions meets Romeo & Juliet in this awesome au. Ryan Ross wants to get revenge on Mr. Urie in any way he can, and if it means having sex with his son then have sex with his son Ryan will.

Stutter Something Profound Ryan has a…Problem.

Such a Beautiful Boy Regina just wants to be the son her father has always wanted to have.

Summer Haunts What if there was a time where summer went on forever? This is beautiful!

Summer or the Season When Nothing Grew It’s July 7th, 2009. Some things have changed, but most things have not.

Sunshine In His Song Brendon always thought that when they finally did this it’d be a hot, desperate kind of thing; the hard, sweaty, angry, crazy, monstrous fucking. Evidently this is not that dream. This is that sweet and easy cannabis hum at the back of his brain, making everything just that little bit brighter.

Sunshine Kids Brendon Urie is a thirty something year old priest who gets off by doing the under-aged members of his church. These teenagers who watch him with wide eyes, begging for his touch. And, as the Lord’s servant, he complies. Enter Ryan Ross.

Sushi For Beginners Brendon is a Sushi Chef and Ryan hates sushi. Surprisingly Funny.

Swear To Shake It Up This wasn’t supposed to be such a big deal. Really. Spencer was just trying to give Brendon and Ryan a good shove in the right direction (that being, of course, towards each other’s beds.)

Sweet Alyssum Ryan and Brendon own a flower shop but it was not always that way. And Spencer is just too stubborn for his own good.

Sweet On You Teachers.

Sweeter Than Candy, Better Than Cake Warning It’s really no big deal that their male guitarist smells fruity and has unnecessarily glossy lips.

Switch! Spencer drags Ryan to speed dating at the gay and lesbian community center.

Tabula Rosa “I hate it when it ends. When it’s just you and me and I watch you take my makeup off. I see you erase it all, all that you gave me.”

Tactile Sometimes you need noise, and sometimes it’s not an option.

Take Another Photo To Remember Me By

Take Center Stage and Step Up to Save The Last Dance (He Was A Sk8er Boi) They come from two different worlds.

Take Me In, But Please Be Kind Brendon is well off and living in his apartment with a decent managerial position, and he’s content in where he is in life. Ryan, on the other hand, is a broken boy who is stuck in denial of who he is because it’s what broke him and left him on the streets in the first place. Sad!!!

Take Me, Or Break Me Ryan has always hated the Slave Trade that his country is so dependent on. Yet, when he sees the boy at the slave market, he can’t help but feel drawn to the poor boy. All Ryan wants to do is give him back his soul.

Take My Hand

Ryan gets in trouble at school. Brendon all but falls into his lap. Ryan thinks he loves the school district.

Take The Fight From The Kid No-one would ever expect this to happen to themselves. No-one would ever think it was coming. Especially not if you’re an adult - surely this kind of thing only happens to unfortunate, irresponsible kids? Unless of course, inside, you still are a kid. And you haven’t forgotten what it was like last time.

Take Your Thoughts Elsewhere After Pete Wentz tricks Ryan, Spencer and Jon out of the money they stole for him, the three recruit Brendon to help them get their revenge.

Taken

Taking You To The Midnight Show Tonight

Ryan, Brendon, backseats, secrets.

Talk It To Me Dirty, Babe This is the worst thing I have ever read. No, really, I’m not just being mean. But it gets 10/10 for comedy value, in that sense it’s spectacular.

Tangled Up In Blue (And Thinking Of You) The story of what happened to Ryan’s silk scarf from Brendon’s side.

Tape Ryan is broken.

Teach Me Something New Brendon finds some things he shouldn’t find in Ryan’s locker.

Teach Your Heart To Talk This isn’t Ryan. Well, it is, but it’s not his usual self.

Tease ”Do you, like, want me to make you beg?”

Tell Me A Story He stays up with Brendon late into the nights not because he feels compelled to or  he just can’t sleep. He stays up with Brendon because he wants to.

Temptation Of Ryan Ross Ryan wakes up and there’s a small black cat on his front porch.

Ten Shades of Honey Eyes Brendon’s a fashion designer and he needs a muse.

Testosterone Boys By discovering the reason for Ryan’s obsession with scarves, Brendon may have found Ryan’s Achilles heel. He’s wanted to know Ryan’s weak spot since the moment they met, but now that he knows how does he use it to his advantage?

Text Carving Out Our Names

The road to Maryland is paved with good intentions.

That First Inconceivable Touch Ryan never gets what he wants like this. It’s just not how his life works.

That Left A Mark Alcohol initially serves as a stimulant then induces feelings of relaxation and reduced anxiety. Consumption of two or three drinks in an hour can impair judgment, lower inhibitions and induce mild euphoria.

That’s What He Said Truckstops and Statelines and boyfriends, etc.

The Anesthetic Never Set In He then felt another prick, somewhere around his abdomen, no not a prick, an incision. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t even scream, all he achieved was a faint, “Huh.”

The Beginner’s Guide to Recognizing Your Saints “We would get in fights all the time, just. Just out of frustration.” Recording and growing up, sometimes at the same time.

The Best Kind of Plans

The Best Laid Plans Brendon had a three-step plan to make Ryan Ross fall in love with him. He didn’t write it down or anything (and if he did, the tiny, shredded pieces of paper were scattered across some highway between Wisconsin and Indiana, so no one could prove it), but it was a very specific plan.

The Black Rose Season Ryan, an introverted English Lit student, is hired to hunt down a secret society, which might not even exist. Ryan is given only one clue Brendon Urie. Ryan is putting his future, his dreams and, ultimately, his heart on the line.

The Boy From The Basement Ryan’s been locked in his basement for years, he’s afraid of the outside; afraid of Father; afraid of everything.

The Boys Next Door Playboy Bunnies! or the one where we objectify Brendon’s ass. Surprisingly cute

The Boys Who Kiss and Bite (I Like it Rough)

Ryan asks Brendon to pluck his eyebrows.

The Bridge Ryan’s on the brink of jumping off the bridge, to end it all, once and for all. That is, until he feels a warmth wrap around his shoulders.

The Bridge Series Iron, Neon Lights & Weed and Kites, Bass Lines & Heat Brendon wants to get a record deal at all cost. He joins the Las Vegas underground music scene, but ends up distracted when he falls for Ryan Ross, a scene king with little interest in attachment. (The First One is Ryden and the Sequel is Joncer.)

The Bus Brendon and Ryan both ride the same bus.

The Business Ryan is a porn star, and his costar has just been fired. Who can they get at the last minute?

The Clandestine Necklace Ryan needs help in wooing Brendon, so he turns to Pete for help.

The Clock On The Wall Has Been Stuck For Days Ryan works in a women’s clothing store and Brendon is a hairdresser.

The Composition Of An Epic In Progress

It was almost too much. Almost.

The Danger of Martha Stewart Living Ryan, for the love of god, can’t do a single domestic thing.

The Dark Inside The Night It’s a download link because the fic was deleted.

The Dark Ocean Bottom Stressed and antsy after the end of the tour, Brendon escapes to London where he finds more than he bargains for.

The Devil Went Down to Starbucks Pete is a moron who gives Brendon coffee.

The Elliot Code Of Honour Masquerades, double identities, cross-dressing, feuds, duels and pining. A Regency fic Also, perfection.

The End Is Only The Beginning The Butterfly Effect. It’s really beautiful and moving and perfect!

The Epitaph of Brendon Boyd Urie Epitaph (epitaph) noun, an inscription on a gravestone or a short poem written in memory of a deceased person.

The Fallen Teen angst and first times in Brendon’s apartment.

The Finest Thing Around Another summer on the Carolina Coast for Brendon and Jon, with a few changes when Jon invites his college roommate, Ryan, and Ryan’s best friend Spencer to tag along.

The First Day Of My Life “Yours is the first face that I saw,” the boy sings quietly, and Ryan finds himself sitting in the grass in front of the table, looking up at him.

The First Five Times The first time it happens they’re both seventeen.

The First Inconceivable Touch Ryan never gets what he wants like this. It’s just not how his life works.

The First Rule Of Ballroom Dance Club Is…Spencer drags Ryan to ballroom dance club.

The Five Times Brendon Came Out and Nobody Believed Him (And Then, Maybe, the One Time They Did)

The Five Times Brendon Made Ryan Cry (And the One Time He Didn’t) Brendon makes Ryan cry.

The Five Times Brendon Took Jon’s Advice The plan is simple. Seduce the Ross.

The Florist

Ryan is deaf and works as a florist.

The Friction in Your Amazing Well-Designed Pants Project Runway crossover in which the contestants are to design outfits for the band, Panic at the Disco.

The Glow Inside Under us the city. Above us nothing. Around us expensive houses and cars and street lights. Standing behind me, Ryan took my other hand and spread my arms like wings. “Have you ever thought about falling?”

The Grasshopper Unit This is an almostsequel to The Negotiation Limerick File. One of Mikey’s wacky inventions gets used by accident. Mayhem and toddlers ensue

The Hand That Feeds You It’s always easy enough for Ryan to come to him after the fact, after ignoring Brendon all night, after being with her; easy enough for Brendon to give in.

The Happy Ending’s Just Beginning The Disneyland parade has evolved into an all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza and Brendon wants to be part of it. Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of opportunities for the guy who sells knick-knacks by the park gates. Enter Ryan, the parade’s current star attraction, who might just have a plan to get Brendon everything he always wanted.

The Heart Rate of a Mouse I could write a summary, but it wouldn’t be able to come close to describing this amazing trilogy. Long read, but perfect. Read it. Now.

The High School Knows Something I Don’t Know So, Brendon likes this girl, right? And this really shouldn’t be that big a deal. But then Ryan gets involved, and everything kind of goes straight to hell. Does this count?

The Homesick They had it figured out, the three of them. At least for another year. But when William moves out, the guys have to find a new flat mate. Brendon is trying to save the world, Ryan is trying to get his academic career rolling, Jon is trying not to crush on a straight guy, and Spencer is trying get back home. British Brendon, Irish Ryan, Scottish Jon, and Welsh Spencer.

The Importance of Changing the Fish Water Brendon’s fish dies and no one’s surprised.

The Impossible Is Possible and sequel (I think? Tell me if I’m wrong): Everything Else Is Meaningless Now. Highschool!

The Interpretation Of Dreams Brendon has vivid dreams that cause real life to pale in comparison

The Key of Victory (music game show) Don’t miss the new season of The Key of Victory, a show that kicks off music careers for the winners. Every season we bring five popular musicians and then mix them with fifteen hopeful teenagers in one house. Every week they will compete in various competitions to see who is most ready to be a professional musician, all with the guidance of our celebrities. It’s fifteen weeks of action that keep the cameras rolling 24/7. Make sure to tune in!

The Know Hows of Delinquency / My Creator

Brendon’s mom marries Ryan’s dad. Who really cares about the two gay boys sharing a room in the basement?

The Laundromat Ryan works in a laundromat and to him, Brendon is known as “Guy With Nice Ass”

The Little Things You Give Away Ryan intrigues Brendon, and Brendon is curious (and probably too insightful for his own good)

The Luxury Of Being Brendon Urie

Brendon had the luxury of being Brendon, Ryan mused as he bobbed his head up and down…

The Magical Mystery Tower In which Ryan Ross finds there’s more truth to fairytales than he would have expected.

The Magical Quest of Finding the Most Glorious Christmas Tree After the first thirty minutes of “embarking on the magical quest of finding the most glorious Christmas tree” (as Brendon fondly addresses it), Ryan is ready to leave.

The Man with the Sunflowers Ryan’s normal but the rest of the world isn’t. He meets a guy called Brendon who’s entirely too content with a life of plants for Ryan’s liking. A tale about not everything needing a reason, and about sunflowers.

The Menu Entrée Brendon’s a civil war soldier that takes his job seriously. What happens when his friend, Jon, drags him to a bar and he meets the most beautiful person he’s ever laid his eyes on? He gets a night with a high-class prostitute.

The Minor Fall, The Major Lift He recognizes dryly how astonishing it is that Ryan’s even come into a church, and he knows it’s for him. Ryan hates these places, Brendon knows. Even being inside one is difficult and Ryan tries to avoid it whenever he can.

The One Thing I Never Expected Ryan is Brendon’s best friend, they grew up together. But Ryan is different. An accident when he was a child left him deaf. Brendon has always taken care of Ryan, but now he’s starting to care for Ryan in a different way.

The One Where Brendon Rapes Ryan. Except, Not Really.  Biastophilia is basically where you get turned on from the thought of being raped or seeing somebody (in movies or porn or something) get raped.

The One Where Ryan Gets Laid on His Birthday Ryan thinks everyone’s forgotten his birthday.

The One Where Ryan Hates Brendon’s Pussy Ryan’s convinced that Brendon loves his pussy more than his own boyfriend.

The One Where Ryan Realizes Nature Has More To Offer Than Hayfever When Ryan is forced to join his college’s nature club, he’s convinced the most exciting thing he’ll find is a book with one thousand tofu recipes. He couldn’t be more wrong.

The One Where Ryan Ross Gets Gang-Banged All Ryan wants on his birthday is to get fucked. A lot.

The One Where Ryan Ross Has a Breakdown Ryan likes big butts.

The One Where They Work at Dairy Queen The title is pretty self explanatory, I think. Pete runs a Dairy Queen and employs Ryan and Brendon to help him out.

The One Where They’re All… Ducks?

The Persistence Of Memory “People forget me if I don’t talk to them,” Brendon tells him, leaning against a wall while he watches the clerk alphabetize the rhythm and blues.

The Pool Party It’s a party, but Ryan is only interested in one thing… Brendon.

The Present and the Distance There are 17,508 islands in Indonesia, about 6,000 of which are inhabited. On August 31, 2008, returning from an Australian tour in the middle of the year’s most violent storm to date, a plane carrying Panic at the Disco loses power, veers off course, and crashes into one of the remaining 11,508 islands. This is their story.

The Prince And The Stableboy Brendon is the prince of a medieval kingdom. Unbeknownst to his wife and his father, the King, he meets his lover, a servant named Ryan, in secret every night. The two refuse to be separated, neither by Brendon’s title nor the laws forbidding homosexuality. But they can’t hide from the world forever, can they?

The Remarkable Misfortunes Of Ryan Ross Brendon is a prince who has an evil twin. Ryan is the son of a farmer. How much do I love this? Too much. Read. It. Now.

The Rift In The Lute Coffee fic

The Road Ain’t No Place to Start a Family “Have you even see Gremlins, Jon?”

The Rules Everyone who steps foot on the Panic! Tour bus has something to add to the growing set of rules at someone started.

The Same Old Song We were one of those couples who are always holding hands and kissing in school … we were like that for two years straight.

The Secret is in the Telling They need each other, but Ryan fears telling his secret will force them away forever.

The Sky Is Falling Down It’s 15 minutes before the band are due on stage and there’s a camera crew right outside the bathroom door, poised and ready for Ryan’s return, but that’s not stopping Brendon unzipping and pulling down his jeans with such speed and skill that he knows there’s just no use protesting.

The Sound of Settling Four scenes, four locations, four seasons, two boys. THERE ARE TWO FICS WITH THIS NAME. IT IS NOT A REPEAT.

The Sound Of Settling The slow, content beat of Brendon’s heart doubles when Ryan repeats his words, face all love and sleep and carelessness, and Brendon can’t hear him He says this out loud, fingers pushing into Ryan’s skin urgently, and only then does he realize he can’t hear himself speak. THERE ARE TWO FICS WITH THIS NAME. IT IS NOT A REPEAT.

The Soundtrack Under The Stars Somehow, and don’t ask me how because I don’t fucking know, my nervous breaths are becoming our soundtrack.

The Spy Who (Kind of, Sort of, Maybe) Loved Me Spy AU. A murder has occurred at the headquarters of FBR420, a top secret branch of the CIA. Agent Urie and his partner Agent Smith, under the guidance of Mr. Walker, are charged with bringing in the primary suspect, Ryan Ross. *A sequel appears from the bushes!* A View to Save Brendon, Ryan, and Spencer have spent over a year out of the field, handling their own promising FBR420 agents. Life should be great, and in most aspects, it is. But, one day, a kidnapping occurs, and Ryan is convinced he’s responsible.

The Stage is Set He met her on a Tuesday. Just an ordinary Tuesday, like any other day of the week, really, except that it wasn’t at all.

The Strip

The Sweetest Dream Ryan knows Brendon loves him. He’s only told him twenty times in the past two minutes.

The Taste Of Red

The Theory Of Infatuation Brendon’s the drama geek with the voice of an angel, and Ryan’s the socially crippled boy on the newspaper staff that loves him.

The Things Teenage Boys Will Do For Money Pete’s porn collection isn’t complete without a Ryan/Brendon sex tape.

The Tooth Paste Fic Crack fic.

The Truth About Dogs Ryan believes he’s all alone until an unexpected companion comes into and changes his life.

The Two Times Brendon Asks Ryan to Make Out (And the One Time Ryan Agrees) “So… we should make out.”

The Vegan Series Great series. Don’t let mpreg scare you.

The Visitor Brendon escaped the dying town he grew up in, and he made it sold out venues, magazine covers, sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. Struggling with depression and alcoholism, he begins to visit the place he tried so hard to get away from, seeing the life he could have had, visiting the one person he never could have.

The Walmart Story Brendon knows something is wrong with Ryan, so he takes him to the place that makes himself happy.

The White Noise Beneath Your Skin Brendon accidentally hears Ryan.

The Width Of A Circle ‘An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external and unbalanced force.’ Patrick watches the pieces fall together.

The Wilderness Remains Ryan wants to be reincarnated.

The Winner Takes It All Cross band fic in which all of the bands on the tour have a competition to see who can out gay them selves (and each other.)

The Wish To Acquire Ryan Ross teaches political philosophy to idiot, moronic college kids. He’s tired of their stupidity and indifference, and his anger makes students flee and they hate him back. His increasing desire for Brendon, his new teaching assistant, is not helping at all.

The Word Of Your Body

Ryan writes on Brendon’s skin.

The World On A String Ryan thinks anyone who doesn’t know the difference between Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath, and Deep Purple deserves to die a horrible death. Brendon just so happens to be one of those people.

The Years Won’t See It The stranger, who looks exactly like Brendon except older, moves restlessly, knees bouncing. “I’m you, get it? I am you. Five years from now.”

The Years Won’t See It (The Way I Want Them To)

The stranger, who looks exactly like Brendon except older, moves restlessly, knees bouncing. “I’m you, get it? I am you. Five years from now.”

Then It Rained Standing on the other side of the window was a boy, looking rather distraught and soaked to the bone, glancing around helplessly as the rain pounded down on him.

There Will Be Ryan Ross doesn’t talk to anyone, but when Brendon comes to the graveyard to sing to his parents, Ryan listens.

There’s A Good Reason I Let You Win This Bet, Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet He can manage to resist a week without banging his cute, skinny, downright fuckable boyfriend. He can. He just needs a plan.

They Knew It Was Over, Just Didn’t Know the Date It was The End.

They See Me Rollin’, They Hatin’ Brendon mentally turns into a fan girl.

Things Have Changed Brendon’s He says he’s in love. He’s not the only one.

Third Street People go to the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica for two reasons. To shop, and to be entertained by the many street performers there.

This Ain’t a Love Song, Baby Brendon smiled against Ryan’s face as the club got darker and hotter. Brendon reminded Ryan of Pete a little bit but he couldn’t figure out why to save his life. “Let’s just say I’m not making the …” he trailed off, looking straight into Ryan’s eyes and he felt himself falling into Brendon’s gaze. “quota,” He finished, letting the word wash all over Ryan’s face. He wanted to help Brendon make that quota, whatever that quota was. And he wanted nothing more than to push Brendon up against the first wall he could see.

This Happy Ending’s Just Beginning Disneyland. Brendon wants to be Aladdin in the parade, and he thinks that Ryan Ross, the prince, is the only person who can help him. Spencer is a bitch in this and it’s amazing. It’s one of the cutest things I have ever read, seriously. There’s also some Joncer and Peterick if that’s your kind of thing, but even if it’s not, you will love this.

This Helpless Haze I’m In The tour bus breaks down and there’s only so many musicals you can watch in one day. Luckily, there’s a corn maze not too far from the bus.

This is Halloween Brendon turns into a four-year-old just before Halloween.

This Is No Time For Bravery

This Is Screaming ‘Photo Op’ Brendon thinks Ryan is totally sexy.

This One Time at Band Camp Brendon Urie is not the school super star. He’s the geeky kid with a bad haircut and terrible taste in conversation. When summer comes around, his mother decides her son needs a new place to make friends and expand his musical talent. Upset and worried about messing up in front of his fellow classmen, Brendon endures a full two weeks of Band Camp under the watchful eyes of his section leader and cabin mate, Ryan Ross.

This Side Of The Sun The sex before had been aggressive; now it’s nearly as violent in it’s intensity.

This Vicious Velvet Ain’t Enough Ryan and Brendon discuss what they want.

Those Who Tell the Truth… You are warned accordingly!

Three Kisses are sometimes one-sided, sometimes painful, and, sometimes, they’re brilliant.

Through Your Veins Ryan still didn’t have his bloodlust under control. He had a problem with waiting, a problem Brendon was eager to help him with.

Tiff

It was just a tiff, Brendon kept telling himself, he’ll come around.

To A Flame Ryan thinks he would totally risk getting punched in the gut by a grizzled old trucker if it meant Brendon’s hands on him for real.

To A Man’s Heart Ryan sure as hell doesn’t want to marry Pete Wentz, so what’s the next best option? Flee to Denver and find a husband. Dragging Spencer along with him, he finds a man by the name of Brendon Urie. The only problem though, is that Brendon doesn’t want to settle down. Will Ryan be able to win the heart of Brendon or will he have to return home and marry Pete?

To Each His Own Based on Girl, Interrupted, To Each His Own tells the story of  Brendon, Ryan, others (Fall Out Boy) and their struggle with mental illness.

To The Bones If everything is imperfect in this imperfect world, love is most perfect in its perfect imperfection. So sad!!

Today’s The Day He thought, uncontrollably, of the man he had forced himself not love to for so long, the one he’d locked out of his mind for what he thought was the better. Brendon faces up to two whole years without Ryan.

Today’s the Day I Go Up in Flames After the split, Brendon and Ryan try to stay away from each other but they just can’t.

Together I’ve been thinking about you, my love.

Tongue Tied For You

Ryan can be kind of oblivious.

Too Good To Hurt Canal Street in Manchester is the place to go if you need to… hire assistance.

Too Many Scarves It’s Ryan’s birthday, and you can never have too many scarves.

Too Much or Not Enough Hello. My name is Brendon Urie, and I’m too much.

Touchin’ Hands, Reachin’ Out Ryan thinks about every tweet he’s ever posted. It’s not always about him. “What, are you in love with him?”

Trade Mistakes “This isn’t working anymore.”

Trapped In The Closet Ryan and Brendon have a fight in a closet. Oh, the puns!

Tripping Eyes and Flooded Lungs Ryan couldn’t go through the day without his “fix.”

Trouble in Mind (Yes I’m Blue) Brendon thinks about being on the edge of things, about how long they’ve been driving. About wanting to jump just to see where he lands, if Ryan would follow.

Truth or Dare? The boys play truth or dare.

Tuning In To The Frequency Of Your Soul Brendon is either insane, or he can read people’s minds.

Tweet, Tweet! Locally famous , Ryan Ross, is being twitter stalked by a certain @brendonuriesays, who is maybe a little a lot in love with him. Adorable!

Twinkle Fingers Brendon is Ryan’s sister’s piano teacher. Incidentally, he is deaf and Ryan has a tiny crush on him.

Twisted Peppermint Ryan works selling Christmas trees and Brendon comes by one night looking for the perfect tree.

, s, ,

Two Birds They’re sharing the same breath when Brendon says, “I’m going to do it.”

Two Of Cups The circus is coming to town. Ryan has tarot cards and Spencer is not a girl.

Two Weeks In Hawaii This was probably the first Ryden fic I ever read and loved. It’s an old favorite of mine and I think it’s pretty sweet. Also, there are a lot of side-parings in this. After being left the night before his wedding but PeteFuckingWentz, Spencer convinces Ryan to cash in on his honeymoon tickets.

Under The Influence A little bit of smut, a little bit of smoke.

Under the Moon He was running away that night, and then he met that boy at the corner of 4th and Fremont.

Under The Upas Tree It’s spring and Ryan is waiting for Brent to bring the kid he thinks might be able to play keyboard for them over. He’s late, and Spencer’s started sighing and checking the time on his phone.

Under Your Stars “The song you guys open with, that’s dark shit. That’s the kinda stuff scene kids cut their wrists to.” She scoffs, placing a warm, somewhat sweaty hand on his shoulder, walking away before he can respond. It’s probably for the best, though, he was just about to say, “You have no idea.”

Unfair Brendon Urie has these amazing lips.

Unreliable Narrators Ryan Ross’s first rule for narrating your own life is that you don’t always have to be the focus.

Until You’re Mine “I’m Ryan. I’m uh, the student teacher for the semester so if you ever need any help, you can ask me, okay?” Nodding, I smile, “Cool, thanks Ryan.” I watch him walk away, repeat the process and try not to feel too special he doesn’t shake anyone else’s hand or linger as long as he did with me.

Untitled Filthy Van Sex Brendon loves the times when they have to be sneaky.

Untitled Like on stage, only now Ryan’s makeup is worn off and Brendon isn’t pulling back…

Untitled Sex Toy Porn Brendon’s a tricky little fucker.

Untitled Success is little moments, not some peak you reach and try to balance precariously on until you die.

Untitled Twitter Fic What if emo! Ryan had a Twitter back in the day? Untitled Twitter Fic #2 Sequel

Untitled Wall Sex

“You sure know how to treat a lady.”

UrieBrendonUrie Brendon sleeps around but Ryan wants it to be just him.

Valentine’s Day

Vanity Waking up when it’s not dark isn’t that bad. Waking up to an odd world where time doesn’t exist and the real world is painstakingly close but still so far, well, that’s another matter…

Village Idiot Jon looks from Ryan to Brendon and back again. “Guys. Seriously?”

Virgin Girl Friday Brendon can never sit still on planes so sucks for Ryan when he gets stuck sitting next to him.

Wake Up Calls

Walk In The Sun Dance contest! In which Brendon and Ryan are partners.

Warning; May Cause Ryden Ryan gets sick and is prescribed special pills. Side effects include mood swings, nausea, fatigue, and increased hormone levels.

We Are Outnumbered The virus has completely devastated over 150 of the world’s major regions and is spreading rapidly. At this point in time we know of only one method of killing the creatures: destroy the brain. Be on the guard of any loved ones who may have recently been in any sort of contact and could be infected. And if you find yourself in a threatened position, please do not hesitate to act. Again. This is not a test. This is not a joke. We as a species are overwhelmed. We are outnumbered. The world is about to change as Ryan knows it, but can he and Brendon survive the change? Or will they soon end up like the majority of the population?

We Started From It’s Brendon who starts it. Of course it’s Brendon.

We Were Heading For The Sea “And across the kitchen table/I fired several rounds/but you were still sitting there when the smoke cleared.” — Ani DiFranco

We’ll Reinvent Love He remembers back when he was younger, and he would scrape his elbow and, he hadn’t yet started these daily screaming matches with his mom, she would place a band-aid over it, ever so gently, and then an even gentler kiss on top of that. And Ryan looks like his world is one big scraped elbow at the moment, Brendon leans forward and kisses him, butterfly soft, and pulls away before Ryan gets a chance to do it first.

We’re All Born With a Year’s Worth of Apologies Brendon didn’t come back to Vegas to fall in love.

We’re Not On The Map But We’re On Our Way

Wearing My Heart Like A Crown

Wednesday Night Boys

Welcome Home Ryan really loves Brendon, but he can’t seem to get enough Bden/Ryro time with him when Brendon’s always around his girlfriend. Follow Diva Ross and his adventures of special pens, crackers, and more.

Well It Rains And It Pours When You’re Out On Your Own Jon finds a letter to a boy in the rain one day.

Well, You Could Be My “How many last times are we going to have?”

What Happens On Tour Brendon’s in love with Ryan, he thinks. And Ryan’s just as oblivious.

What Happens When Two Substances Collide Ryan has these dreams that everyone he knows seems to find their way into. Sequel is For Cats Well Versed In Mysteries.

What He Had Ryan has on stage boners. Still. He thought they would stop after he left Panic but he was wrong.

What Would Faust Do? Ryan accidentally sold his soul to the devil when he signed his contract to Pete.

What You Read Isn’t What You Get Twitter fic. Brendon constantly replies to all of his favorite’s, Ryan Ross, tweets.

What’s New, Pussycat?

A person’s choice of accessories can tell you a lot about them…

Whatever Beauty “I have no intention of succumbing to love this summer,” Brendon said confidently as he arrived to Stourhead, his wealthy uncle’s estate.

Whatever Happened to the Green Fairies? Ryan is a prince. Brendon is an outlawed peasant. Ryan takes Brendon under his wing, and the two fall for each other, ignoring their class differences. But trouble arises when Ryan is expected to marry a princess from the neighboring country. One of the first fics I read. Weird but an interesting read.

When All Else Fails (I’ll Be Here) It was calming, refreshing, like taking your first breath after years of comatose. I felt okay. Better than okay. For the first time in my life, I felt what normal must feel like. For the first time, that empty space, somewhere lodged between my chest and my ribcage, was filled.

When the World Ends The four times Brendon asks Ryan if he could kiss him and the one time Ryan said yes.

When We Were Fifteen Ryan and Brendon compare dick sizes. Oh boy.

When Worse Comes To Worse, Go To The Whore Of The School

Ryan Ross is pretty much the biggest prude in the history of his school. Brendon Urie is the popular gay whore of the school who likes to give guys head during their lunch breaks. But one day, when Ryan watches his first sex ed movie in class, he finds himself with a little…problem.

When You Give Ryan Ross A Bikini Wax “Oh, fuck my cock!”

When You Said It’s Gonna Happen Now (Well, When Exactly Did You Mean?) The one where Brendon breaks his hand playing hide-and-seek, and it’s all Ryan’s fault.

When Your Memory’s Just A Fantasy “How Do You Know My Name?”

Where Termites Reign Ryan’s house is under attack! (by termites, that is…) and he needs someone to get rid of them.

Where We Call Home Keltie is Ryan and Brendon’s beard.

Where We End Up Ryan’s father can no longer care for him, and he’s made to live with his mother where he’s tossed into an unknown situation, and taken under the wing of a tragically dangerous boy, William. He learns about the strain of friendships, the battles of life, and his stepbrother, Brendon. About changing, fucking up, and sexual experiences and the attachments that come with it.

Wherever the Road Goes “So you’re saying you want to go on a road trip. Just you and I. That’s it.”

Who Could Ask For Anymore?

Brendon knows what’s best for Ryan.

    Who Will Save Us Now Brendon over doses on drugs and Ryan has to help him.

Whore Ryan is in the center of a gangbang.

Wire From the Box Brendon does a racy shoot in a magazine to promote their new album.

Wish Upon A Star Brendon knows Ryan’s Achilles heel and he’s not afraid to exploit it

Wishes DOWNLOAD

Wishing Well Disease It’s their secret, Brendon and Ryan’s. A blatantly obvious secret, but a secret all the same. Known and not know. Discovered and undiscovered. No one can ever be sure what goes on behind closed bunk curtains, only the two boys themselves.

With All Your Heart March 2009. Brendon and Ryan try to fix each other.

With Apologies to Schopenher Ryan and Brendon go on a movie “date.”

With Extra Foam Brendon doesn’t want much out of life. All he’s asking for is a reasonable job to pay for college, a steady career once he graduates and a couple of good friends to get him through the rest of his days. What he isn’t asking for is Ryan.

Xenodochy Ryan meets a dog that looks hauntingly familiar and stares at him a lot. Despite his best efforts, the dog seems determined to be called Brendon, but it’s not weird or anything that his sort of pet is named after his former bandmate. Not weird at all.

Years Before Important The smaller kid, with black hair curling a little around his ears and a purple hoodie about four sizes too big, tilts his head to the side, looking a little confused, then brightens and says, “Not really! I think talking is pretty fun!”

Yesterdays and Tomorrows Ryan hasn’t spoken to Brendon in over a year, but Ryan’s just fine.

You and Your Hand Brendon catches Ryan masturbating. A lot.

You Came into My Life and Now I Want You To Stay Brendon gets a group assignment in Psychology and is excited to be working with other students, but maybe now he’s turning into a bit of a sick love puppy.

You Can’t Judge A Book By It’s Oddly Specific Call Number Where Ryan is cynical and doesn’t believe in love, Brendon is the new children’s librarian and Spencer doesn’t want things to change (specifically his card catalogue.)

You Can’t Run Nor Hide Ryan has a ‘hard’ time controlling himself when he’s around Brendon.

You Don’t Need A Valentine To Get Chocolate On Valentine’s Day It was just another Valentine’s Day, but Jon certainly hadn’t expected his plan to backfire like this…

You Got A Crew? (I Got A Crew Too) Every June in the world of Las Vegas hair care, it’s all about one thing the Annual Services Survey. Can struggling hairdresser Brendon Urie and his coworkers at Clandestine finally win over rival salon, Cobra Starship? Shenanigans ensue as they battle it out, all while Brendon struggles to keep his eye on the prize and away from that cute but prickly reporter.

You Gotta Dance With Who You Came With Brendon forgets about prom until now, but he doesn’t have a date. Ryan is being a little bitch about it, too.

You Might Say It’s Self Destructive Brendon and Ryan recently started dating. Jon, meanwhile, wishes to get back at Brendon for their previous truth-or-dare game gone wrong. Brendon’s new dare? Commit the seven deadly sins within two weeks in the presence of his new boyfriend. The penalty if left unfinished? Breaking up with the incredibly attractive Ryan Ross.

You Picked Me Brendon and Ryan have been together for almost a year, come the winter, and Ryan has yet to meet Brendon’s family.

You Probably Couldn’t See for the Lights But You Were Looking Straight At Me Following the end of WWI Brendon Urie is sent by his parents to Paris to retrieve his brother who never returned home.  

You Were All I’ve Ever Known or download it here Just when Ryan Ross doesn’t want anyone butting into his life, a guy who he has never seen before let alone spoken to tries to get his attention. His name is Brendon Urie and for some odd reason he knows more about Ryan than he lets on.

You Will Know the Difference When I Touch You It wasn’t a gay thing at first.

You Will Not Rattle Us Apart In some ways, Ryan thinks, glaring vaguely at people as the train pulls up to his stop, it kind of sucks that he fell in love. The gaymo vegan Brooklyn indierocker hipster.

You Write Such Pretty Words, But Life’s No Storybook

You’ll Be Platinum Brendon’s sex tape gets mixed reviews.

You’re Going To Recycle That, Right? The one where Ryan is a hippie collegeenvironmentalist and Brendon just wants a better music auditorium. Featuring Ryan Ross chaining himself to a tree, diva tantrums and other silliness.

You’re My Human Holiday In which Brendon wants babies and weddings, and Ryan’s not so sure.

You’re My Wonderwall He’d puke until his back, shoulders and stomach were burning. He’d throw up until he couldn’t breathe, sobbing uncontrollably as he knelt down in front of the toilet, hands palm flat against the dirty church floor.

You’re So Naive Ryan’s in a young offenders’ and Brendon’s the only person that can help him.

You’ve Got Everything Now Brendon and Ryan buy a house together.

You’ve Only Begun to Shine And throws stones at your window at 4 in the morning / Well maybe he thinks it’s romantic / He’s crazy, but you knew that before.

Your Heart’s a Muscle and That’s All He was sick of this cabin and of this fucking glass prison. He was sick of Ryan’s nitpicking and of his insensitivity. And most of all, Brendon was sick of singing the bullshit love songs that Ryan had written about someone who wasn’t him.

Zip It (Just Say Yes) Gay marriage is legal in New York now. So what do Brendon and Ryan, partners of over five years, do now?

[eatnightmares]

1.15 the end of the beginning :)))))

OH CARPENTERRRRR RETURNING TO A FAITH YOU’RE SICK OF BUT IS THE ONLY THING FAMILIAR THAT FEELS SAFE

“I remember mostly sensations” GOD HOW OLD WAS SHE WHEN THIS HAPPENED??? she said her parents were killed a year after she was born but it seems like she's able to speak full sentences here so she has to be at least 5-6...then again she says the radio is talking about them but the newspapers have already moved on so it feels like there's some timeline confusion here hrkshgl

“She had no other options” immediately defending her 😭😭 oh i’m so sick. you were a baby. you were just a baby.

“I remember feeling surprised that it smelled just the same from inside as it had from the outside" GOD. CHRIST. WHETHER YOU’RE DOING THE FEEDING OR THE ONE BEING EATEN IT'S ALL PART OF THE SAME MACHINE. AND SHE'S A BABY.

classic nana glass moments 😬👍 (she does change and it does last and she does it by being the bravest person on planet earth i love you carpenter)

HEAD IN HANDS HEAD IN HANDS CARPENTERRRRR (did they talk after? did they say what they needed to say? did you tell your brother you love him carpenter?)

(also very crazy about how nana is always singing + drowning song, music as a negative thing in carpfaulk's lives that they still try to associate with positively)

something about the angels coming but not feeding. something about nana and the cairn maiden both being described with long fingers. something about “unworthy vessel”. let’s explode

(side note. this is carpenter to me.)

the girlies 🩷🩷 and carpfaulk both being so impulsive hrifhdi…

“everywhere else we’ve been haunting” yeah…oh the ways they will remain…

“YOU TWO IDIOTS” SO TRUE PAIGE!!!!!

“I'LL SEE IF I CAN BRING FAULKNER BACK TO US.” THE BEGINNING IS THE END IS THE BEGINNING OUR PAIGE COME WITH ME WHATEVER WHAT THE FUCK EVERRRRRR

may your peace walk on with you for awhile…the last time they see each other until s3…everything they both go thru in regards to losing and gaining gods…

carp being in so much pain here 😭 babygirl it's only s1 how do u live as long as u do...

carpenter bringing a weapon to confront faulkner s1 vs having the chance to take cull's rifle and just giving it back before she goes to see faulkner in s3. “wish i had the same confidence in myself” whatever whatever whatever.

bites my fingers off. how many lights in glottage.

brother caring is the Only thing that matters. (and looking for the trawler man’s reflection…ooaaauugghhh...buddy you're not gonna like what you see soon...)

i've never seen anyone draw them in the silly little bumper car but it's such a good mental image maybe one day i'll do it myself... (not to be on my utena shit but. them spending the whole season in a car. sitting in this little kids car as they admit they don't know what they're doing and are in fact very bad at what they try to do. very tous*i motorbike scene of them. censored bc i don't like them <3)

carp trying to be nice but in some way encouraging him on the path he's taking...

carpenter and her brothers insatiable needs to kill themselves for a god that doesn't care about them :)

MAN...THEY'RE SO CLOSE...they get it but what can they do...why should he hate us because we turn our backs...AT LEAST WE COULD BE ALIVE TO TELL THEM HOW IT HAPPENED...

THE LAUGHTER'S THE LAST THING LEFT TO US BEFORE WE GO 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

MADLY FURIOUSLY JUBILANTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i forgor her cover name is her moms name oh carpenter...making yourself a monument carrying your loved ones everywhere...

every single one of them died for you and thought it meant something!!! and here comes my new brother ready to do the same!!!!! but at least he'll die cursing your name!!!!! I'M STILL ALIVE!!!!! I'M NOT DYING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LAST DEATH RATTLES MOCKING YOUR NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"faulkner, *pray*" delivery got me like yes ma'am 🫡🫡 outta my way sibling boy i'm boutta get it

anyone else in this thread constantly thinking about how carp is the only one of the main 4 to not explicitly be said to be suicidal at some point but she has some of the most moments of Implications.

PAIGE NAMING HERSELF VAUGHN CARPENTER NAMING HERSELF SANDRA RAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

what if i died forever. the editing of "i close my eyes/i keep my eyes open" is soooooo good

something about the offerings left behind...state of Prior Happiness...that really is all he ever gives...

I FORGOR SID ESCAPES GOOD FOR HIM

paige being a bit of what instigates the political conflict to begin with teehee...

mason when i get my hands on you. but also how faulkner would've gotten what he wanted if he died here. lol. (but man all the different versions of the story...rose crest moments...)

"but what else can you do, but keep on going? just keep limping on" OH CARPENTER OH CARPENTER OH CARPENTERRRRR

"gods for sickness. gods for good health." in sickness and in health. promised bride. ☝️

RIPPING THE WALLS APART CAAAAAAARRRPPPPPPPP

if anyone needs me i'm going to kill myself forever 👍

(on vacation so i won't get to s2 for a minute but i'm def relistening to it too once i'm back!!)

[laresearchette]

Saturday, August 26, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: NAPA EVER AFTER (W Network) 8:00pm

NFL FOOTBALL (TSN5) 1:00pm: Seahawks vs. Packers

MLB BASEBALL (SN) 3:00pm: Guardians vs. Jays (SN Now) 4:00pm: Dodgers vs. Red Sox. (SN1) 4:00pm: Yankees vs. Rays (SN/SN Now) 7:00pm: Rockies vs. Orioles

CFL FOOTBALL (TSN/TSN5) 7:00pm: Ti-Cats vs. Lions

MLS SOCCER (TSN2) 7:30pm: CF Montreal vs. New England (TSN2) 10:30pm: LA Galaxy vs. Chicago

FASHIONABLY IN LOVE (Global) 8:00pm: Avery harbors a secret dream to be a fashion designer and work for Lisette Monique. Upper East Side player Oliver offers her the chance to work for Lisette in exchange for publicly dating him so he can rehab his bad boy image.

ROMANCE RETREAT (Super Channel Heart & Home) 8:00pm: After a breakup, an ambitious journalist on vacation runs into a tech guru at the center of a breaking scandal. As she starts to fall for him, she has to choose between her heart and her career.

CARMEN (CBC) 9:00pm: A 50-year-old woman is liberated when her elderly brother, who is a priest, passes away, and she is no longer expected to devote her life to him and the church.

BALONEY (Out TV) 9:00pm: The story of Baloney, San Francisco's gay all-male revue, and their performances exploring the shared experiences of the gay and queer male community.

THE FLASH (Crave) 9:00pm: Worlds collide when the Flash travels back in time to change the events of the past. However, when his attempt to save his family alters the future, he becomes trapped in a reality in which General Zod has returned, threatening annihilation.

JESUS REVOLUTION (Starz Canada) 9:00pm: A charismatic street preacher and a pastor open the doors to a church to a stream of wandering youth, sparking a counterculture movement that becomes the greatest spiritual awakening in American history.

TOLLBOOTH (Super Channel Fuse) 9:00pm: A man works solo shifts in the quietest toll booth in Wales, hiding from a criminal past where nobody would ever look. When he finally gets rumbled, word of his whereabouts gets out and his enemies head west for revenge.

THE WIND DOWN (APTN) 11:30pm: In a heavy final episode of 'Colour of Scar Tissue' Kursten shares how similar situations have affected her and shows empathy for the characters in the show. She then finds strong connection with a powerful musical performance by Mob Bounce and more.

[ussgallifrey]

Dagger Squad Headcanons | Part 4

MICKEY "FANBOY" GARCIA

The elusive Florida man.

Doesn't actually get the whole Star Wars vs. Star Trek feud, he's just here vibing and loving them both.

Okay, he gets it - just look at the last three movies of the trilogy. And why did George Lucas have to go in and digitally re-alter everything? It was fine the way it was. Seriously, they ruined Jabba when they CGIed him. And another thing...

But also Undiscovered Country and the Next Generation movies are a mess. And he could probably go on and on about the lack of respect for the first Star Trek movie (1979).

Bro. But Chris Pine's eyes in the 2009 movie though...

He has a love/hate relationship with Jar Jar Binks as a character.

Definitely has a Yoda tattoo somewhere on his upper body, probably on the back of his shoulder.

Actually, definitely has the most tattoos out of the squad. Albeit most of them are relatively small, basic black outline images.

Some include: a mini millennium falcon on his inner forearm, the Starfleet insignia on his chest, an X-wing on his calf, and a small chubby dinosaur eating a cookie on his upper arm.

There are at least six old grainy videos online of him and a friend having different lightsaber battles in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, circa 2007.

One of these days he will buy the Lego Millennium Falcon and sit down and have time to put it together (no he won't, he doesn't have the patience for all those stupid little pieces).

He dreams of the day he can walk around SDCC. He's either never had the money for a ticket or he's been deployed during the con. One day, damnit. One day he will walk amongst the sweaty crowds of cosplayers and be in awe.

An amateur soccer star before he enlisted. Is still fast on his feet and can do trick kicks with a ball if you egg him on.

Turns into the touchy-feely goofy time drunk when he's downed more than 13 drinks. He can hold his liquor exceptionally well, just don't let him near a microphone.

Did somebody mention shots?

He listens to a lot of Bad Bunny. But don't be surprised to find New Kids on the Block, Britney Spears, Weird Al, or Megan Thee Stallion on his rotation too.

Had a stuffed Mickey Mouse plush when he was a baby that he dragged around everywhere as a kid. That thing came out of the 90s with one eye and an arm that was barely holding on by the stitching, but he loved it.

The Playstation is where it's at. Tony Hawk: Pro Skater consumed his life for two years straight. And don't you dare interrupt him when he's playing Final Fantasy.

Had a pet rat growing up that he named Artoo.

Has one older brother and one younger brother. Also, a ton of cousins who lived within the same neighborhood that he was always hanging out with.

Everything is a drum - except the weapon control buttons. Hardcore band kid.

He did not give a damn about concert season, he lived for marching band. Hates the bells and xylophone with a passion - his heart is with the snare drum.

Made his way up to center snare when he was in senior year.

Absolute menace during football games when the drumlines would go head-to-head with each other.

Twirls things constantly between his fingers thanks to his eight years of drumming.

If he's not on top of his grooming schedule, his hair will absolutely explode into natural wavy curls. It's why he's gotta maintain the buzz cut as hard as he does.

Has an affinity for hats. His closet mostly consists of baseball and trucker hats in pristine condition.

Still eats like a teenage boy, but with the occasional bout of tummy problems that has him rushing for the antacids.

Absolutely loves cinnamon gum.

There is a giant green plush dinosaur on his bed at this exact moment. His name is Grogu.

˚ ✧ more top gun headcanons ✧ ˚

[riathedreamer]

Zero is Null

A discussion of Zero’s love-hate-relationship with RvB and struggling independence; including a hotdog too big for the bun, tragic backstories, a single bow-chicka-bow-wow, and a cookie at the very end.

Welcome to what will be a lot of text. Basically, it will explore why Zero fails as an RvB (with emphasis on RvB) season. I will not be the first one to bring forth some of the points, and I promise to be fair and civil and fun. This isn’t supposed to be a piece of hate – in fact, I’m writing this because I love Red vs. Blue.

Okay, first of all, to increase your fun – take a guess on just how much of Zero is spent on fight scenes. You see, I’ve calculated the exact amount, and I will reveal it later, but for now, take a guess and remember the number. Maybe you are the winner!

Alright, time to share my thoughts. Wait! Since I suffer from anxiety and have this one annoying voice pretending to be all those critical statements my opinion could be met with, let’s give it an actual voice and address the points throughout this review.

“Why would I care about your opinion, Ria?” – I don’t know, you’re the one who clicked Read More.

“Your opinion doesn’t matter!” – Of course, it doesn’t! Geez. Do you think your opinion matters, though? Listen, we’re on Tumblr, the actual equivalent of screaming into the void. And it’s fun, too!

“If you don’t like it, don’t watch!” - *activates Uno Reverse Card* “You can’t talk about something you haven’t watched!”

“You’re just a Hater” – Actually, this is a point I’ll come back to. Like a cliffhanger. Also, at the end of this, there’ll be a cookie. But this will also include me talking about the stuff I like, because, surprise, Zero is not without talent!

“You just don’t like it because the Reds and Blues aren’t in it!” – Actually, that’s a good point, so instead, this review will start with a sole focus on Zero and discuss the problem that lies within that story. Then we can address why the lack of OG cast is understandable and problematic and weird.

But first! Backstory.

When the first 5 second teaser dropped back in spring (you know, when we were young and innocent and the world didn’t feel like an apocalyptic movie yet), I held onto that one image of what I thought (hoped) to be Grif and Simmons in the sunset, hopefully addressing Grif’s hateglue arc, but boy was I wrong because a) that’s not Simmons, that’s Sarge, and b) the image was from a PSA since the Reds are not in Zero.

Actual face-reveal of me below:

Admittedly, when I heard that the Reds and Blues were not going to be the main characters (or even show up), it felt like a gut punch. However, I actually found myself getting excited due to the creators’ hype. I want to praise them for this. It’s been a while since an RvB season was talked so much ABOUT before its release; it had advertisements, it had creators and voice-actors talking about it. Please. More of that in the future. Their passion rubbed off on me, and that deserves recognition. So it pains me that this was clearly a passion-project, and then when I gave it a try, I didn’t want to touch it again for weeks.

Here’s the thing. I cannot whole-heartedly say that Zero is bad. It’s not gonna melt your eyes. It’s not even so-bad-it’s-good. For me, it’s meh. It’s a Saturday-morning-cartoon aimed for a younger audience with a rushed plot and clichéd characters. The problem is that it calls itself RvB, and with that title comes something to live up to – but more importantly, something to continue.

My main issue is that Zero forces its story into existence by ignoring established content rather than adjusting to it. Let’s call this for the hotdog-too-big-for-the-bun syndrome solely for the sake of the bow-chicka-bow-wow that’s coming now. Bow-chicka-bow-wow. Many of the separate issues I will dive into all add to this hotdog-issue, so I will scream “Hotdog!” whenever this is the case so we can all keep track of my argument.

You can continue the story of Red vs. Blue without the Reds and Blues. While that would personally crush my heart, it can be done. There’s a story of Red vs. Blue that can be continued. The world can be expanded, the previous actions of the Reds and Blues can be explored from another angle.

So.

How does Zero do this? It doesn’t.

I just want to make it clear that new elements can definitely be added when it comes to worldbuilding. That’s literally the point of sequels. But Zero’s settings are presented with so little grace and with no connection to previously established worldbuilding. We get Alliance of Defense and GLASS thrown in our face as very big important organizations – yet we’ve never heard of them before. A big central plot point of RvB is the UNSC and Project Freelancers, and those were introduced naturally with the plot. We already have big established intergalactic organizations. What is AOD’s connection with those? We aren’t told. We are just told they exist and expected to accept it, no questions asked. If this was a whole new world and story – fine. But when you need to build on an already established worldbuilding, you need more grace than this. Chorus was a whole new setting, but it was explained, and it was connected to the previous plot. Same with Iris. Same with Desert Gulch. In Zero, it feels lazy. It feels forced. These organizations are just there because the story is built around them (HOTDOG).

This vagueness when it comes to wordbuilding is also reflected in the settings - we have a desert, a training base, a lab, temples, Tucker’s workplace, and we do not know if all those are set place on the same planet. If that is the case, what is this planet’s relationship with Chorus? Is it Earth? And most importantly, what is the deal with the temples? Why are they connected to Tucker’s sword if it isn’t the same planet. Are they made by the same aliens? Are people okay with this? Why haven’t these temples been explored before? Chorus makes sure to establish this, while Zero doesn’t, adding to a growing amount of confusion.

Okay, so no connection with previous worldbuilding. What about characters? I mean, we got Wash and Carolina and Tucker! So we have RvB characters, it gotta be RvB! Technically – yeah. But it feels dirty. These three characters are not here to be characters. They are here to be props to the new cast. They are not given any development. Their presence isn’t even that important, and if this was a whole new show, they could easily have been replaced with an unknown face. Worst of all, they feel miswritten.

Carolina and Wash are working at a new military organization? Leaving the Reds and Blues behind? To help people? First of all, fucking bad idea, Carolina, the last time you left the Reds and Blues alone, they changed the timeline. But most importantly – Carolina and Wash just joined this new super elite military organization? After being mistreated and manipulated by such an organization in the past?

Carolina is there to introduce the characters. That’s it. We are force-fed their personality by having her literally read out loud their personality. There is no gentle introduction to the new cast. We are not allowed to get to know them naturally. Why show when you can tell, huh? That’s Carolina’s role. That’s why she is there. To introduce the cast and explain their story. That’s it. (HOTDOG).

How about Wash? He is there to get beat up and be a damsel in distress so that the new cast has a reason to explore the plot. Oh, and that brain damage that was the consequence of previous seasons – gone now. The guy who literally has trauma from having an AI explode inside his head is fine with having a computer inserted into it instead. Because that’s needed. To explore his brain damage wouldn’t work now when his role is to be a prop to lure the new cast for one episode and then be put onto the bench for the rest of the runtime (HOTDOG).

And Tucker – he is there to die for a second and have his sword taken from him. That’s literally it. And for the few moments he is there, he feels like old super flirty Tucker, which erases the character development he went through in previous seasons. Okay, so Tucker dies, and then not dies, and then he is put on the bench with Wash where they can sit and talk or whatever (‘cause holy shit, the new cast is not allowed to that), because he isn’t important. The sword is. Tucker is just a prop, even more than his sword is (HOTDOG).

Damn. Wash gets beat up. Tucker gets beat up. Dies. Gets his sword taken away. Almost seems like a Red’s wet dream. Sorry not sorry, Blues, you were done dirty.

So there are miswritten old characters. Even worse is the retconning. The plot needs a “normal” Wash, so, bam, magic computer solution. Never mind Wash’s trauma and character traits. Never mind the logic of the new worldbuilding which also includes a character suffering for years to heal an illness. But the brain damage that was such a big consequence that it became the main part of the plot of the last two seasons – gone. I mean, a gunshot to the head can be healed by CPR. That’s canon. But no one gave Wash CPR so it’s a big thing, okay. It was canonically a big thing, and Zero erased that. This is not me saying that a Cerebral Enhancer couldn’t work in the RvB universe. Imagine it being done right. Wash struggling with the choice of getting used to his disability or accepting the possibility of help - at the cost of reliving his trauma. The struggle between what to choose - what should he choose when he wants to help as many as possible, the sacrifices he thinks he has to make, the way it could have been used as a part of his character growth. But in Zero, the enhancer isn’t a part of Wash’s character. It’s there so the story can work without having to deal with the previous plot’s consequence (HOTDOG).

Same with the sword thing. They sorta explain it by having Tucker flatline, but it’s weak. Honestly, I find it sorta offensive. What about Locus’ sword as well? It’s twisting previous lore to make the new plot work (HOTDOG). (Also, are we not gonna talk about the ultimate power being Spencer Porkensenson’s helmet? Have the writers forgotten Spencer Porkensenson? Have we as a community forgotten Spencer Porkensenson?)

If you have Red vs. Blue in your title, you cannot ignore what you inherit from it. You need to respect the worldbuilding, the established characters, and the previous plot. Zero does not do this.

Let’s talk about the Triplets. No, really, let’s do it. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about them before, because season 14 was a mixed bag for me (that I have now learned to appreciate. Thank you, Zero.) because I have heart at the size of the Grinch and can only love a few characters at a time, and that did not include the Triplets. Can’t even remember their names. Well, I can, but I can’t for the love of me remember which state is which, and my tongue is twisted every time I try to say Ohio, Iowa, and Idaho, and I know it’s on purpose. I know it is. And it got me good. That being said, the fandom actually embraced them really, really well! Seriously, I’ve seen more content for the Triplets than for Zero as a whole.

Why talk about the Triplets? (Was Iowa the lesbian? Or was it Ohio? Fuck.) Because like Zero, they introduced new characters with a story of their own. The Reds and Blues didn’t play a role. But here’s what I feel like the Triplets got right. They didn’t change the settings to force their narrative. They used stuff already established (Project Freelancer), added their own story as a continuation of that. They even included old characters in the beginning (Wash and some other Freelancers) but it felt natural and it didn’t feel like it happened at the expense of the old characters. Wash’s writing felt natural, and his presence wasn’t needed to tell these new character’s stories. He wasn’t a prop to them. He was there to establish the setting and to establish the relationship with these new characters, and then he and the other familiar faces (helmets??) left, and we as the viewers were left with these new characters. And the new characters told their own story by themselves. It felt like, hey, here’s something you know – remember Mother of Invention, and remember Wash’ lower rank, but now, try to imagine being even lower rank than him, aren’t you curious about those fates? Now let’s hear their story! It was new, it was something else, but it didn’t wreck what came before it, and it stayed true to the classic vibes of RvB.

As I said before, the hotdog-issue is my biggest problem with Zero. It infuriates me. I will return to this. But there are more issues, even if we try to look past the title-related problems.

If we try to imagine Zero as its own story and universe (as it should be, in my opinion), it still earns the meh review from me.

These isolated issues include awkwardness, the writing, lack of self-awareness, and pacing. First of all, holy shit, this is a tell, don’t show. Nothing is subtle, nothing is allowed to develop. It’s like the show thinks you are six years old with an attention span of a goldfish. You are not just led by the hand – they have literally pulled off your arm by the end of the show. We are force-fed every bit of information, every bit of personality from these new characters.

The voice-acting is a mixed bag for me. Sometimes it’s pretty good, sometimes it’s not. Some of the problems can definitely be blamed on the dialogue that you can only do so much with. It’s not good. I can’t remember any good jokes (the one joke I really appreciate was the cast on armor, and that was freaking visual humor. That was so RvB. Kudos to that. It was fun. More of that, please.), and RvB is known for having memorably good lines. This is a show built on good, clever, funny dialogue. Zero does not deliver. You have to sit through clichéd lines – “You’re not my dad”, “I trusted you”, “Come with me”, “It can’t be!”, “She’s way too powerful”, and “We have to do this together” – performed unironically. I cringed more than I laughed. Worst thing is that Zero could be a good parody. Sometimes, it feels like it is. One-dimensional characters, a villain wanting ‘the ultimate power’, very overpowered characters, bad one-liners, etc. But Zero takes itself seriously, and I was one of the people rooting for Jax to show up at the end and yell “Cut”. That would have been a funny-as-fuck twist. A spin-off parody. If I can’t have “Sarge the Movie”, I would have taken that and loved it. I would have forgiven everything. “We put so much info into finding that power, but we had no idea what it was” is really a line in the finale, and I cannot believe this is real in a show that somehow still tries to present itself as serious. What a plot.

We have to talk about pacing. God, first of all it should be stated that RvB is a mess when it comes to pacing. I honestly get what they were going for. Sometimes, RvB has come across as a bit boring when you get three episodes stretched over three weeks without much going on. I know season 11 did not have the warmest welcome because it was seen as boring until the finale. But when you see season 11 as a whole, as a movie, as a part of a trilogy, it works so well. Zero is more focused on being episodic. They want something to happen all the time so we will stay tuned. The thing that will happen – a fight. Oh god. The fight scenes.

I have done the math. I have run the numbers. I deserve a freaking cookie for this. Are you ready?

If you put all the episodes together, you have a runtime of 106 minutes. HOWEVER, with the introduction of credits in every episode, you gotta account for this. Removing the credits, this gives us 94 minutes of actual runtime. Out of that, 45 minutes are dedicated to fight scenes. That means 48% of the show is fight scenes.

If I wanted that many fight scenes, I’d watch Death Battle. Except the actual RvB Death Battle episode has a runtime of 20 minutes, and out of that, 5 minutes is dedicated to the actual battle. For the people who hate math – that’s 25% of the actual runtime.

RvB Zero has more fight scenes than a show called Death Battle. Take that in.

The pace suffers from this. Where’s the time to explore the characters? Where’s the time for good dialogue? All I can think of is this:

I get that RvB is a show that’s literally making fun of itself by acknowledging all their characters do is stand around and talk. I get that you want characters to do more than that. But for the love of Church, would it kill the new characters to stand around and talk? For just a minute? Stop fighting, I am begging you, stop fighting! Am I a pacifist now? Am I purple? Have I joined Doc’s team? What has Zero done to me?!

The good thing though is that fight scenes are very good. They’re entertaining. However, they seem to deconstruct themselves when we need to get a fight scene in every episode. Usually, the few fight scenes in an RvB season were in some of the most climatic episodes. In Zero, I can hardly keep up with the pace because they won’t stop moving. Fight scenes aren’t plot. They aren’t character development. You need more than just fight scenes. They entertain, but there’s a limit to that.

Noël Wiggins, the co-writer, stated the inspiration was a Saturday-morning cartoon. They nailed that vibe. If that was their goal, hurray, they have accomplished something! Because of the poor plot and constant fight scenes, it feels like you could just switch on the TV and drop in at any moment and let yourself be entertained by the cool and colorful soldiers punching and kicking each other. I will admit that the fight scenes entertained me. But they don’t make it a good season.

If I were the six-year-old with the attention span of a goldfish that the show believes I am, I honestly would enjoy it. The stiff dialogue and the constant tell-don’t-show makes you feel like an audience that’s not supposed to do anything else but admire the flashy fight scenes. I miss the cleverness of RvB. I miss the characters I get to connect with as I see them grow.

I miss the tone of RvB. Because this isn’t RvB to me.

It’s not that RvB hasn’t changed its tone before. Holy shit, I sorta do want to experience the absolute shock the RvB fandom went through when s6 aired and they were given new characters and serious plot. I would have loved to experience that, but I was too busy being ten years old. The Freelancers seasons also introduced a new tone and more fight scenes with very talented fighters compared to the Blood Gulch gang, but a balance was kept by having half of the season still revolving around the Reds and Blues. But Zero – Zero is so much change. And it’s on purpose. At least this has been made very clear from the beginning.

They constantly seem to appeal to new fans, rather than be directed towards older fans of the show. If you want an entirely new audience with a season with a new cast, new worldbuilding, and new tone, I’m confused as to why they don’t just make a new show. The hotdog-problem begs for this solution. This story and environment and characters feel so out of touch with the original RvB, that with a few rewrites and lack of Halo-armor, it could just be a new show. Problem solved.

If not this, then present it as a spin-off. In all ways, it feels like a spin-off (again, see everything marked HOTDOG). But the creators refuse to do this, and I don’t understand why. I could forgive many of these issues, had they officially separated themselves from canon.

Ah, what’s the idiom? You can’t both swallow and blow? (You can hear the Bow-chicka-bow-wow in the distance). Something about eating cake and having it. Forgive me, English isn’t my native language. POINT IS why are you calling yourself RvB while actively fighting against the core essence of RvB? In my humble opinion, you can’t be both. Marketing it as a spin-off would have granted it some defense when changing, well, literally everything, and I just, would someone please properly describe why it isn’t a spin-off? Isn’t this season marked by its association with the plot of RvB rather than a continuation of it? Zero presenting itself as not a spinoff feels like a toddler clinging to the hem of its mother’s dress while forcefully running away from her, ripping the dress in the process.

When they do connect with the original RvB, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. When they let Carolina, Wash, and Tucker appear for a moment, it feels like luring viewers in with the RvB title. Look at me. Look at me! I’m not saying this is the case. I say that it gives me the annoying vibes of being lured, rather than letting the characters be a part of the show for their own development, rather than having RvB in the title to continue its story. I should not be getting these vibes at all. But I am.

If you want to use RvB in the title, something from the core of RvB needs to be embraced. Things can be changed. They should. Something new should be brought in. But there’s a limit to how much you can change and replace and twist until it would have been better with an original show. As a season of RvB, it should tell the story of Red vs. Blue.

From my perspective, Zero fails to do so.

It pains me that the old cast has been replaced, but as stated earlier, a season could have worked without them. However, I do not like the take that one should be excited about all the new characters. That it isn’t a big thing that the OG cast got replaced. That we should just deal with it. Just, try to imagine another show suddenly replacing the main characters with characters we’ve never met before. Imagine RWBY suddenly only focusing on a new team of huntresses with the previous main characters reduced to an Easter Egg presence, or Camp Camp suddenly being about a new team of campers, no warning given. Can you imagine the outcry? So maybe let’s agree that a replacement of the main cast is a big thing and should be addressed and it’s valid to be upset about this change.

Could Zero have worked? It’s hard to answer this. How can I accept something as RvB if the season actively pushes away the core of RvB aside for an isolated story that could have been told in any other media? As a spinoff, I could have ignored it. To enjoy Zero, I have to fully separate it from RvB in my mind, and then it’s alright. S’not good. But it’s not bad. It’s entertaining enough. I really ended up liking Raymond and Tiny, and there were a few good jokes, and the fight scenes were admirable (but too much) and I love the creators’ passion. But it’s not RvB. I also wish that the new characters had been attached to previous worldbuilding, for example soldiers on Chorus or agents from Project Freelancer. That way we could build on familiar lore which would have decreased the confusion and added a much needed connection with the previous seasons of RvB.

God, the anxious voice is back (by the way, it sounds like Tutter from “Bear in the Blue House”).

“You’re racist” – I hope not. Literally, I do not want to be. Tell me if I’ve ever crossed some lines, because I swear, that is not my intention, I will apologize and most of all, change and do better. I included this because I’ve seen this take thrown around in the big ugly mess that is the fandom clashes regarding Zero. And racism is problem within RT community (this includes AH and RvB, sorry, I just use RT as an umbrella term for the latter), and I’m not saying it hasn’t been a problem with this season. Writers should never be harassed, and never-fucking-ever because of their skin color, and voice actors shouldn’t be treated like they are responsible for the choices of the show. But I was legit nervous to post this review, and I hope it’s been factual without feeling like personal attacks on the creators because that has never been my intention. I was delighted to hear about the diversity behind this project, and Torrian’s passion legit blew me away because it’s been a while since I’ve seen that for an RvB project. I’d hoped for it to be good, and when I feel disappointed, it’s for the reasons stated in this analysis. That said, Zero is made by a diverse cast and it’s made with love, and both of those things are so, so great, but it does not mean that Zero cannot be criticized. It can, and it should. It’s a product, just like all the other seasons, and fans are allowed to discuss it – both what they loved, and both what they found troublesome. And to repeat previous points, and be respectful, always, fuck racists, and never-fucking-ever harass the staff behind a season, what the fuck is wrong with you if you do this.

“Don’t you get it, it’s different because it’s trying something new!” – Hey, remember the philosophical question: if you replace all the parts of a ship one-by-one, is it still the same ship when you’re done? If it doesn’t include the Reds and Blues, if it ignores previous plot, if the old characters feel miswritten, if it values animation over dialogue, if it values fight scenes over comedy, if it wants to be Fast and Furious instead of Red vs. Blue – is it still Red vs. Blue? Because it doesn’t feel like it to me.

“It's been 17 seasons, it’s time to let the Reds and Blues go so someone else can shine!” – I simply do not understand us having been with the Reds and Blues for 17 seasons should be an argument to let them go, rather than be an argument as to why their absence hurt like hell.

“The Reds and Blues ran out of things to do!” – Did- did they, though? I mean, if we were discussing pretty much any other show, I’d probably agree that they were running out of content. But for the Reds and Blues… I think the PSAs nailed it this year! I’m not kidding, I had more fun watching the Reds and Blues discuss how to do laundry than watching Zero. You could literally give me an hour of the Reds and Blues trying to bake a cake or clear a gutter or simply settling down with an ordinary life, and I would trust them to make it worth the watch.

“The flaws were due to the fact it’s only 8 episodes long!” – Look, I can only judge a product the way it’s presented to me. I cannot come up with excuses for it. If they had 8 episodes to work with, they need to come up with a plot that works with this runtime. Seriously, this excuse cannot work when 48% of the season is spent on fight scenes. They could have used more runtime, sure, but the show needs to be able to pace itself and be planned accordingly.

“The OG cast couldn’t be a part of this year, hence Zero!” – That might be true. But. Would one year without RvB kill it? Is Zero necessary? Again, I just can’t judge excuses for the show. But trouble with the cast has been an issue before. Season 15 solves Geoff’s sabbatical by actually making Grif’s absence a part of the plot. Zero’s lack of Reds and Blues just feels like this excuse to tell a story that needn’t be a part of RvB.

Am I a hater? I guess? I greatly dislike Zero for the critique stated above. I do, however, not harass the creators and no one should ever do that. However, I have to admit that I feel there’s been this weird rejection of any critique of Zero where everything’s been brushed off as haters gonna hate, including the critique stated above. And I think that’s a problem because critique, as hard as it can be to hear (and I know this. I’m an author of original works. Weird flex, I know), is valid and necessary and shouldn’t just be shrugged away. As always, both sides of the fandom should always be respectful, but my own opinion is that addressing the flaws of Zero should not be controversial.

Does this super long rant/critique/whatever mean you cannot enjoy Zero? Gods no! I almost envy you if you enjoy this season, but holy shit, feel free to love it and tell the creators that you love it! Me pointing out the issues I have with the season shouldn’t be stopping you. I loved (and still love) s15 when it came out, and it was majorly rejected by the fandom. There were many, many critical posts, people were going on about how RvB should have ended with s13, and it evolved into the writer receiving death threats (me, once again: never ever harass the creators, assholes). But I didn’t tell people to stop being negative. I actually agreed with many of the flaws that were pointed out, and I enjoyed the season despite this, because that is possible. We, as RvB fans, should agree that RvB, is... I mean, it’s not the greatest, most flawless of shows, but we love it nonetheless. So go ahead and love Zero. This is not a stop sign. This is my opinion that you chose to read.

Wait, I promised you a cookie, didn’t I? Well, you’re not getting one. Why? Because I’m a Red and this is my chance to piss off a Blue. As Caboose wisely said: “Well, at least I don't go around... knocking on people's non-doors... and promising them cookies... and then NOT. GIVING. THEM. COOKIES!”

Blue Team sucks.

End speech.

[kpop-stan23-writes]

new money san

the san part to this fic which is inspired by this post by @warmau read mingi’s part here

group: ateez member: san feat mingi genre: fluff? rich boi au word count: 1.8k warnings: a few curse words pairing: san x gn!reader

made his money fast and dirty. like really dirty

the only rich people he knows and hangs out with regularly as sketchy as hell

the old money people look down their noses at his new money but still secretly want to buy his brand because wow it makes a lot of money

has the same dressing habits he did before he got rich, just with pricier clothes now. must pricier

those dressing habits: wears whatever he wakes up in or is pulled onto him by a frantic and always worried bodyguard wooyoung

usually what's pulled onto him is just as wrinkled and questionably clean as the clothes he wore to bed

*seonghwa's voice from that one daily log* young and rich

bling bling bitch

f-leeeeex

aka jewels in his mouth, chains worth more than a small country around his neck, rings on rings on rings

has about ten cars that he takes turns driving

all flashy speedy sports cars he enjoys weaving in and out of seoul traffic

a tattoo under his ribcage that says something no one but he understands the worth of

really only asked what it means by some of the people he's let sleep over

got annoyed when people would ask him about it and then tried to pretend they understood what it meant

now when a sleeping buddy asks what it means, he just laughs it off and gives a bullshit answer

even though it kinda kills him inside because it holds such importance to him

scars from all the dangerous shit he pays to do

never ask him about those adventures tho. he will go on and on and show you a slideshow of pics he took and most of those pics will be engrained in your brain for the rest of your life and possibly into the next one

scars from all the dangerous insane people he also does (though those he doesn't have to pay for)

never ask him about those adventures tho. he will get a devilish look in his eye and then proceed to explain in near-excruciating detail how each scar came to be

so how did you, a straight-laced, by-the-books college student, get swept up into san's crazy life?

you're mingi's childhood friend

and as children you swore to each other you would be by each other's side, no matter what, through thick and thin

boy do you want to slap some sense into child you

because when mingi gets swept up into san's whirlwind life, so do you

though you suppose there was some good that came of it

you met san, after all

it started out innocently enough

mingi has this brilliant idea he is convinced can make him the next san self-made millionaire

he just needs a loan

and san, understanding what it's like to start with nothing, offers to fund mingi

fine. great

except san isn't interested in being repaid conventionally

instead of asking for exorbitant interest or a large cut of shares, he asks for a favor

a simple favor, he swears

long story short: it wasn't a simple favor, and now mingi owes san more than just the loan

you don't find out about mingi's deal until after it's been made and he's gone through with the "simple favor"

you pace in your shared apartment, with mingi sitting on the lumpy couch with his head hanging low

you don't have the heart to curse him out

you never did

because who could yell at such a sweet angel?

but there's a first time for everything because what the hell was he thinking? why didn't he ask how he'd be expected to pay san back before accepting his money? who does this choi san think he is anyway? how does he have the money to fund a budding business while asking for crazy favors as means for repayment?

mingi, who has sat quietly through your ranting, snaps his head up and says in the most serious tone you've ever heard him use: "hope you never have that question answered"

his seriousness shakes you and you slowly sink onto the couch next to him and you whisper "what did you get into, mingi?"

things are quiet for several months after the favor is completed and as mingi prepares for launch of his business, you start to hope that that's the end of the choi san business

because you've done some digging after mingi told you what he'd done to secure the loan

and you can't help but be nervous

because this choi san guy suddenly came onto the scene with an obscene amount of cash and no one seems to really know how he earned so much so quickly

at first glance he's just an eccentric nuevo riche guy who likes to live on the edge and flaunt his wealth with flashy new things every other week and wrinkled designer brands

but the more you dig into him, the more whispers you hear about how he really makes his money

the few rumors that have been confirmed are sketchy as hell but nothing overtly illegal, but that doesn't bring you much comfort when you consider mingi made a deal with him

but the months drag on and still...nothing

you finally think that's the end of that

until you get home one day from class

you're exhausted

it's nearing finals and with summer just around the corner, it's practically impossible to concentrate on studying

you just want to take a long hot bath and then sleep for the next week

you kick off your shoes and step into your slippers before shuffling into the apartment, making a beeline for the bathroom

but you spot mingi sitting on the couch out of the corner of your eye and his posture is the same as the day he told you about san and it makes you stop dead in your tracks

"what's wrong?" you ask him slowly

he says nothing, just points to the black envelope that sits in the middle of the coffee table in front of him

you approach with trepidation and then grow nervous when you see that on the matte black surface, your name and mingi's are written in glittery gold script

you pick it up and turn it over and then sink to your knees when you see that on the glittery gold wax seal is the image of two mountains overlapped in such a way that makes them look like cat ears

you remember seeing that seal on the paperwork mingi had refused to show you even after he had told you about his deal

the mark of choi san

for a long time you and mingi just sit in silence

choi san confuses the hell out of you

there's the public image vs the rumors

both are outlandish but in very different ways

you abruptly get to your feet and with false bravado claim you just won't read the letter and go to toss it in the trash

mingi leaps off the sofa and uses his long limbs to scramble after you and snatch the ominous black envelope from your hand

"you have to," he insists

"i don't have to do anything," you insist back

"since it was also addressed to me, i already read it"

"then you've read it for the both of us!"

"it's a party invitation"

"so we just don't go!"

"i don't think this is something we can get out of"

you and mingi have a stare-down

you typically win, since mingi gets all giggly and blushy when he stares into your eyes too long

but he's determined and doesn't back down

with a huff you snatch the letter from him and pop the seal, which you see now has indeed already been broken

you understand mingi's insistence once you scan the letter

because the intention of the invitation is very clear: go to this roof party or else

"right, because i totally wasn't planning on studying this weekend anyway"

that saturday you spend more time than you care to admit standing in front of your closet

what do you wear to an eccentric millionaire's rooftop party?

when it gets dangerously close to the time you need to leave, mingi finally grabs a few random articles of clothing and tosses them at you

you huff but pull on the clothes because wow these actually go together how is mingi so good at that?

you and mingi are nervous the whole drive over and you're both reluctant to get out of the safety of the car

you finally gather your courage and drag mingi after you because you're both in this mess because of him he's not chickening out on you now!

you stand in front of the brick building with the glass front declaring it closed for a private event

a tall man stands at the door and as you and mingi approach, he asks for your invitation

you show him the black envelope and he unlocks the door for you before telling you to take the elevator to the top floor

you reach the top floor and then follow the arrows that lead you to the rooftop stairwell

as soon as the door to the roof is opened, mingi is whisked away and you catch the words "discuss some business" as you and he share startled looks

now all alone, you make a deep breath and glance around the roof

fairy lights are strung up, soft music is playing in the background, and flowers create a pathway straight to the neon bar...and choi san

he's wearing dark washed jeans and a purple button up with black leopard spots (that one from the vlive from say my name era with wooyoung and yunho) untucked with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and he's leaning against the bar sipping his drink and when your eyes meet he gives you a smirk you've only ever seen on a fox

you straighten your shoulders and approach him

once you're in front of him, you glance around at the empty roof

"so when does this party start?"

"do we need more than two people to have a good time?" that smirk is still on his face

"but there's all this space and all these decorations..."

he just shrugs and says "well i own the building, so it wasn't really a big deal"

with his drink in his hand he gestures to the seoul skyline and says "i also own that glass one and that tall one and see that construction in the distance? that's mine too. choose one you like and we can start a party there"

he looks back at you and a genuine smile crosses his lips and shows off his dimples and he leans closer and you find yourself unwilling to pull away

maybe he's not as bad as you thought...

the end?

[marshmallowgoop]

Magic Kaito vs. Magic Kaito 1412

I’m not sure if I ever finished all twelve episodes, but I first watched at least a handful of the original Magic Kaito specials about a decade ago, and I remember really enjoying them. Superhero stories are among my favorites, and while both Magic Kaito and its sister series Detective Conan overlap with the genre in various ways—after all, Conan’s glasses were literally inspired by Clark Kent—Kaito’s flashy costume alone pushes his adventures more in that direction. So, maybe it’s no wonder that, back in the day, I kind of considered Magic Kaito my preferred series of the two.

Recently, I’ve got a reignited interest in the DCMK world (evidently). And it’s not a bad time to have a reignited interest, because English-language accessibility for this universe is much better now than it was ten years ago. Conan’s getting new movie dubs, and Kaito’s newer, expanded TV series, Magic Kaito 1412, is freely available on Crunchyroll. Obviously, I had to give it a shot.

I wasn’t impressed. Far from it. I chalked up my old fondness to nostalgia goggles. Kid the Phantom Thief is simply more enjoyable in Detective Conan than in his own thing, I figured.

But a few weeks ago, those old specials went up on Crunchyroll Germany. And it took me a while, but I finally decided to figure out the truth, once and for all. Have my tastes totally changed, or has Magic Kaito anime not always been Like That?

I was impressed. I watched all of one episode, and I enjoyed it so much more than 1412.

Which surprised me! Just examining the first episodes of both series, they’re honestly practically identical. They cover the same story beats almost exactly. Kaito’s introduction is even consistently him being disgusting to Aoko—behavior that, nauseatingly, convinced me that Mineta of the My Hero Academia series would actually be adored if he were conventionally attractive.

But as it turns out, that’s relevant to why the original Magic Kaito strikes me as far more palatable. Kaito’s actions towards Aoko are still indefensible in the old special, but he doesn’t repeat them on his teacher, and there are repercussions. Unlike in 1412, Kaito doesn’t get away with his harassment because his teacher finds him charming; in fact, Aoko even later notes that he “should be thankful [he] [wasn’t] expelled,” implying that he was indeed punished harshly for what he did. While Aoko assures Kaito’s mother that he didn’t get in trouble in 1412, in the original special, it’s clear that being cute isn’t enough to give him a free pass for disrupting class and being gross.

Further, in a more general sense, the tone of both series is of course goofy overall, but the characters in the old Magic Kaito feel much more like human beings than the cartoonish caricatures portrayed in 1412. A scene especially missing from the new show is a quiet one where Kaito and Aoko walk together after school. With the sun hanging low in the sky and a sparkling river flowing beside them, Kaito expresses his disappointment in how his magic trick didn’t exactly end as planned. “I guess I need to work on my finale,” he bemoans, but Aoko is more concerned with why he feels the need to pull these ridiculous stunts in the first place.

She quickly gets her answer. One of the exuberant little kids who had run by them earlier falls over and cries, and Kaito doesn’t hesitate to cheer him up with magic. And Aoko watches. She sees the way the little boy’s face lights up. She sees how he runs off again with renewed energy. And she smiles. She doesn’t say it, but the audience gets the message.

Oh. That’s why Kaito’s a magician. That’s why Aoko walks by his side.

I won’t claim to fully comprehend Kaito’s character. I haven’t read the manga, it’s been years since I’ve seen more than the first episode of these old specials, I’ve only watched about 20% of 1412, and for as much as I’ve been posting about Detective Conan lately, I’m (maybe humorously) about the farthest thing from current and would only be able to tell you about Kid’s first appearance in that show. But when Kaito returns to his empty home in the original series, and when he announces that he’s there to nobody at all, and when he welcomes himself back, all with a smile and a cheerfulness to his tone, I deeply feel his loneliness. I feel the weight of his lost father. I feel that, even if some of his tricks are inappropriate and inexcusable, he does them because he wants to make people laugh. He doesn’t want anyone to feel as sad and alone as he’s felt.

Maybe I missed it, but I didn’t get any of that from Magic Kaito 1412.

And they’re small things, they really are. But they make a world of difference. Even Jii, who really only becomes more than just a mysterious figure in the episode’s closing minutes, feels more like a tangible person in the special. He loudly gasps for breath after performing the magical, fantastical feats of his old friend, and it’s such a tiny, minuscule detail, but when watching, I feel it so strongly. I literally understand the strain of Toichi’s loss on Jii, too.

Beyond narrative decisions—and there are others that I much prefer in the old series, such as how Kaito links his failed magic trick to his father’s “poker face” philosophy, and how Kaito uses a successful variation of his earlier trick to escape the police as Kid the Phantom Thief—I also just simply prefer the original art style. Magic Kaito 1412 is slick and shiny and modern, but in being so, it strikes me as much more generic than the older-styled 2010 special. Shot compositions also feel more powerful in the first anime; just consider how differently the two series handle what is arguably the emotional height of the entire episode:

[Image descriptions: A series of four comparison images examining how the 2010 Magic Kaito series and the 2014 Magic Kaito 1412 portray the same sequence of events. In both, Kaito asks Jii, “Dad was murdered?! Was my dad... a thief? Was he Kid the Phantom Thief?” Kaito then says, “I see...” End image descriptions.]

While the dialogue is essentially unchanged, the old show’s use of close-ups expresses the tension of the scene spectacularly. You can see the terror in Kaito’s eyes. You can see how the thought of his father being a thief is so distressing that merely asking the question is painful and heartwrenching. You can see the sweat on Kaito’s face. You can see in great detail how much he struggles to grapple with this new truth.

Magic Kaito 1412 is significantly more distanced. And there’s power in that decision, too. The revelation is overwhelming. It’s hard to take. Kaito may want to get away from it, but he can’t.

However, I resonate more with how the original series handles the moment. Seeing how everything affects Kaito way up close speaks much more to me—and there are still some fantastic long shots, too:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from the original Magic Kaito series. Both are distanced long shots. In the first image, Kaito and Jii kneel on the ground. Kaito’s hands are on Jii’s shoulders. In the second image, Kaito stands, facing away from Jii, while Jii remains on the ground in shame. They wear identical outfits in both images, and their capes blow in the wind. End image descriptions.]

Gotta love those capes.

Overall, my feelings on Magic Kaito as a whole could probably be best described as somewhat mixed. And I’m kind of new here, and I don’t even know when it’s appropriate to use the #dcmk tag, so I of course don’t have the slightest clue about how popular or unpopular my opinion that the 2010 Magic Kaito series ranks above 2014′s Magic Kaito 1412 is. 

But skipping down memory lane and revisiting the old show was pleasantly surprising. Maybe my affection for Magic Kaito will never reach the highs it once had all those years ago, but it was almost comforting to find that my tastes haven’t changed all that much—rather, it’s Magic Kaito itself that’s changed.

[lucky-dreamfisher]

Queer Subtext in The Illusion of Living - Part 3/?

Yes, you read that right, there will be more parts. This book is a gift that keeps on giving.

As Joey had to work at his father’s shop from a young age, he didn’t really have friends, up until he joined the army at 15 and met Donaldson and Eckhart, as well as Nathan Arch. All three of whom aggressively pressured him to comply with heteronormative behavior: bullying him to go on dates with the army girls, and making fun of him for liking girl stuff. 

“The men made fun of me: "Reading a romance there, Drew?" (...) I knew before Donaldson and Eckhart had teased me that supposedly men who were "real men" as someone, maybe Arch, had put it, read about real subjects, nonfiction.” TIOL, page 62

That experience must have left a deep mark on him, because this ‘real man’ complex resurfaces later in TIOL, and even in DCTL:

But his friends also sexted him from across the ocean, which he still recalls fondly decades later:

“Eckhart and Donaldson were still alive, sending me letters with dirty limericks from overseas.” TIOL, page 113

Also worth noting is the difference in how he feels about women asking him to go out versus men doing the same.

“When they were shipped overseas, I genuinely missed them. They were the first gents I'd ever met who could convince me to go out and spend an evening dancing and socializing instead of studying. They showed me that there was some-thing positive about escaping the daily grind that way.

(...)

I had once tried to explain to them that it wasn't that I didn't like girls, or didn't enjoy their company, I just didn't have time for them. I didn't want to go out on nights I needed to stay in.” TIOL, page 28

Girls ask me out = girls bad :(

Boys ask me out = boys hot :)

But then we get to Detective Sinclair, and things get… interesting.

Joey meets Detective Sinclair shortly after leaving the army and moving to New York in 1920, when the man comes to question him about the mysterious murder of his old army colleague. After noting the similarity between the detective and that of Joey’s (mostly gay) neighbors in Greenwich Village, Joey invites him over to his apartment, where they immediately proceed to establish which of them is the alpha male, and it isn’t Joey:

“Once again Detective Adam Sinclair didn't show any sign that he heard me, that he agreed or didn't with my invitation, he just walked into my studio and stood in the middle of the room. He looked around, slowly, taking in the space.”  TIOL, page 99

“Too bad.” He flicked the butt of his second cigarette onto my floor and stepped on it thoughtfully. I wasn't going to tell him how rude that was. I wanted the gig and it was obvious he knew. It was also obvious he wanted me to say something about the cigarette.”  TIOL, page 110

Joey is utterly fascinated by this display of complete lack of respect for him and begs the detective to let him be his apprentice. He lies about having an interest in becoming a detective someday, but in reality he gives no shit about the work, or the case. His interest is solely in Sinclair.

“(...)this fellow fascinated me.” TIOL, page 100

“I rushed over to my one window to watch as he left the building. He was a hulking shadow again, wandering away from my building without a glance backward. A fantastic character really.” TIOL, page 110

“Detective Sinclair didn't say anything more and again I was following him. I didn't know how he chose who to talk to, and by the time the evening was over I'd forgotten to ask. (...) I tried to do my own detective work about the detective as he went about asking questions.” TIOL, page 115

This wouldn’t be the only time he gets instantly smitten by a man with a cigarette and an air of indifference, and the similarity between Sinclair and Sammy’s introduction is pretty interesting:

"And what's a Joey Drew Studios?" asked Sammy, lighting a cigarette from the darkness by the stone wall at the edge of the terrace. Yes, he said it in that dismissive tone. I didn't understand why he needed to talk to me like that.” TIOL, page 188

Joey himself wonders whether the detective’s behavior is a result of him correctly predicting Joey’s… preferences.

“Fascinating. Detective Sinclair's tone was very different here. He was less curt talking to her, there was a softness almost in his speech. It occurred to me that he was attempting to reflect what he saw in her personality to make her more comfortable. Trying to give her what she wanted without her knowing she wanted anything. It made me wonder what trick he'd used with me. I didn't like the idea, but it was a very interesting one.” TIOL, page 188

So the text confirms that Joey has a type, and that type seems to be men, who refuse to give him the attention he craves (and smoke cigarettes, apparently. Resisting the urge to make a joke about phallic symbolism).

And boy, does Joey crave Sinclair’s attention!

You see, even though solving the case was not at all interesting to Joey, there was something else, which was of great importance to him: making sure that Sinclair finds him physically attractive.

“He was memorizing it, adding it to the appendix of his story. I was determined not to be some small character who might not even rate a name. I wasn't going to be a description only, "Tall, lean, handsome young man" or the like.” TIOL, page 100

“He wore his large overcoat and hat like always, his five o'clock shadow too, which made me all the more annoyed that I'd cared to look presentable. Not that I wouldn't have dressed appropriately—such things matter—I just resented I had cared as much as I had about the detective's particular opinion. I got in next to him with-out any conversation. Without really any sign he noticed me at all. He just stared forward as the car drove off, and I was so grumpy from the train ride I was happy to sit in silence.” TIOL, page 129

When senpai doesn’t notice you :(

“I assumed that Detective Sinclair had opinions on everyone, and probably bad opinions. Just like he thought I couldn't look presentable when I most certainly could.” TIOL, page 130

Note that at no point in the story does Sinclair give any indication of his opinion about Joey’s appearance. This is happening entirely inside Joey’s own mind.

In addition to his looks, Joey is also deeply concerned about not appearing childish and weak in front of the detective:

“My eyes were watering now It looked like I was crying and I felt humiliated at the thought.” TIOL, page 122

“I felt even more annoyed now, and rightfully so. Detective Sinclair had said I could come along on his investigations, obviously it had been a lie. It felt very much like he didn't want me there for any of the one-on-ones, like I'd spoil it or something. Quite frankly, I didn’t enjoy being treated like a child this way.

“You can take a seat, Joey," said Detective Sinclair. I rolled my eyes inwardly; nope, did not enjoy being treated like a child at all. "Sit next to me, love," said Mrs. Pepper, enthusiastically petting the spot beside her. I smiled because she was being kind and I did as she requested.” TIOL, page 133

Once again we see a stark contrast in how he reacts to a man offering him a seat vs a woman doing the same. He wants Sinclair to treat him as an equal, an adult, a “real man”, and he doesn’t much care about the opinion of Mrs. Pepper.

And then this happens:

"Detective Sinclair, thank you for your time, (...)You should leave, no one needs you anymore!” Detective Sinclair didn't say anything back. That was when I finally saw the man behind the character. A weak man who needed validation just like the rest of them. (...) I felt uncomfortable, a little disgusted even. Here was a man I'd admired despite it all, and here he was at the end, with nothing. I saw it now, the other illusion: the role of detective he was wearing, indifferent, cold, emotionless. None of it was true. (...)I knew he wanted me to go with him, but I didn't. His part in my story was done now.” TIOL, page 144

I think this moment speaks more about Joey’s character than it does about Sinclair’s. After spending dozens of pages seeking validation and approval from this man, Joey instantly discards him the moment he realizes that Sinclair isn’t actually the living embodiment of this idealized image of a “Real Man” that he has internalized in his formative years. 

Perhaps the thing that initially drove him to Sinclair (and later to Sammy) was the qualities he saw in them, that he wishes he could possess himself. Perhaps he has convinced himself that if he could get these men to recognize him as an equal, a fellow “god”, his “illusion” would finally be complete and he could truly live up to the standards set by the society he was raised in.

[bogusavathepit]

How Edward Became Attracted to Bella (Midnight Sun) Pt.1

After reading the final draft/published Midnight Sun for the very first time, I have collected the four reasons how Edward became attracted to Bella and how he came to be so attracted to Bella. According to the stalking 17-year old immortal himself. 

                        How He was Drawn In (Part 1-This Post) 

                                                   VS

                        What Kept his Interest (Part 2- Next Post)

A) What Caught Him: The Non Romantic or Non Sexual “Attraction”

Trigger/Reason One

especially in relation to his vampire existence with and apart from the Cullens.

What first caught his attention wasn’t Bella’s scent. 

That’s right, I said that.

Actually, going back to Midnight Sun, Edward notices Bella when he realizes he can’t read her mind only after Emmett asks him what the new girl thought about the Cullen kids (themselves) (page 6). This comes after a big stir the Forks High boys cause around Bella’s novelty. 

However it’s not a positive phenomenon (in the moment) in the slightest. For either party.

So before he even smells Bella, Edward begins to resent her and doubt his own mind-reading, something he’s never done and has realized has built most of his self image and self worth on,

 (To be fair, he does seem taken with how “communicative” her eyes are in contrast to the radio silence (7-8). There is the beginning of romantic attraction here even before he inspects her closer. I think that at this early point, it leans more into her eyes “making up'' for the psychic silence more than emotional attraction. It’s just not absolutely one or the other.)

Meyer seems to want us to understand that, if not “love at first sight”, these two have a quiet, unobvious connection so she makes Edward concerned with Bella’s actions and behavior.

Trigger/Reason Two

Second, now we have her scent. 

There’s the part we who have read the series know: Bella is Edward’s best meal, essentially. But Bella is not just the most fragrant, highest quality blood bag Edward will ever meet, making his instincts go haywire. Her scent also presents a challenge to him. After he leaves for Denali, he comes back because he’s determined to not let himself attack Bella and ruin his family’s Forks period and his self-image.

For context, Bella is Edward’s “singer”, which means her blood is the blood is the “highest quality” or the best blood he will ever taste/have and will always tempt him....it is also the blood that causes him the most pain because its scent leaves him in the mot pain, since a vampire’s bloodthirst is always painful. The pain in the vampire’s throat mimics the pain of transformation and is described as being like fire, acid, or an incredible dryness by various vampires. A vampire’s thirst also presses them to attack/feed on the source of the scent, pushing them into a “feeding frenzy” if the vampire is caught off guard, is a regular newborn, or is bad at self-control. All of this rackets up exponentially when a vampire of any kind scents their “singer”. Most vampires who do encounter their singer can’t resist and just kill/feed. And most vampires, who are non vegetarians like the Cullens, wouldn’t even think to try to. Which is how we get the murder-Biology class scene. The scent of one’s singer puts a vampire’s instincts into overdrive, and with Edward, who’s never truly been tested like Rosalie or Carlisle, finds himself losing control.

Remember he already doesn’t like it that he can’t read her mind. Now she dares to make him lose the very control he has spent years getting and using as another basis of his confidence?! No sir, no ma’am, no [excuse my ignorance-- IDK what’s a good non binary term, there aren’t any conventional ones]! I think it has made him lapse in his real self control, thus that crazy Biology scene. He grew overconfident without realizing....unlike Rosalie and Carlisle who seem to be always in control. (For Rose, except in BD, but no one can be as good as Carlisle, so.....)

Edward likes that his mind reading gives him an edge over others, especially over other vampires. The same goes for his self control (Breaking Dawn and newborn Bella anyone?). 

This includes Jasper, who has the worst time trying to control his urges due to his traumatic past. Jasper is also the most militantly capable vampire in the coven. Emmett, though huge and very strong, doesn't have the experience, skill, focus and the aura of a capable leader---but let’s not praise Jasper’s unclarified feelings for the Confederate goal. Does he still have that!? Huh? Maybe? hush! hush! 

[Seriously though, if Jasper hadn’t been a Confederate soldier, as a black girl and overall respecter of human rights, I’d lean in on my pre-crush(?) on this character.]

So I imagine that for Edward, his self control makes him that much better than Jasper, the coolest mofo around (if you can ever get past the Confederacy). 

Seriously Meyer! Why? Why not a Union? If you won’t bother to update us on how Jasper has changed and if he has at all, why bother dropping such character-breaking-or-making quality! Why??!I am starting to suspect that she didn’t want us to like Jasper more than Edward, and had to do something to make us withdraw from Jasper. (I’d say that if so, it was a resounding success for my 14 year old self who was in love with the idea of love no matter the red flags, but an absolute failure for my 24 year old self.)

I’ll stop. 

Really these two things work in tandem.

Edward not liking his own possible failure/flaw leads him to become intrigued by the mystery Bella presents. More on that in Part 2 (link below) I’d like to re-emphasize that these aren’t the reasons why Edward likes Bella or is romantically/sexually attracted to her. They are what made him notice her and pay attention to her long enough for him to stave off the monstrous thirst that her scent tortures him with so he can begin to pay attention to her personal traits. His romantic/sexual interest in Bella emerged from what I wrote.

Check Out Part 2!

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Finale Review: The Last Adventure! or So Long and Thanks for All The Ducks

Hello all you happy people. The day we’ve all simultaneously waited for and dreaded is here. The grand finale to a five year journey.. and for me an almost one year journey of covering season 3 as it came out. It was thanks to this show i’ve been able to make money doing what I love. Without it I never would’ve found my patreon Kev, and I never woul’dve had the solid focus to keep going as long as I have. And I never would’ve had all you lovely people reading my work. Thank you for that. I hope you’ll stick around even though the series is gone, I love you all. But as the sun sets on this series I have one last episode of the season, and the series to cover. I won’t be doing it in my usual recap style due to it’s sheer length and scope, but I promise you if you join me under the cut I will break down eveyrthing I can about this final adventure, it’s huge, awe inspiring twists.. and it’s heartwarming conclusion. It’s everything you could want from a finale short of a Grandma Duck Cameo, and i’ts under the cut with full spoilers. Seriously if you do not want any spoilers TURN BACK NOW. I’m opening with probably the biggest spoiler of the finale. 

I Think She’s A Clone Now You were warned. So.. Webby is Scrooge’s Clone, made by FOWL as part of a decades long scheme to find the papyrus of binding, and raised by Beakly to keep this precious child out of their sinister clutches. I have hundreds of reaction images, several for what the fuck.. none of them seem sufficient.. ALL OF THEM together like some megazord of what the fuck are not sufficient for how much this reveal caught me off guard. It caught ALL of us off guard. I’m sure even those who called it still were suprised that’s the direction it took. I think we all expected her parents died by FOWL, or her parents were FOWl with Pepper being one of them, or anything else. So naturally it took around 14 drafts, and me going the fuck to sleep as I had stayed up to watch the finale and thought I could just smoothly transition into writing the review despite there being a LOTTTTT to unpack.

Even after the recharge though this took a bit of doing... so now i’ve done it... what’d I think? Whelp....

I liked it. I like it the more I think about it. Even the problems I had with it just kinda melted away as I thought about it. I understand if you do not. This twist will not be for everyone, it changes Webby’s character and story entirely, ruins tons of fan theories, and in general is batshit even for a series that in the same finale, turned Manny into a shout out to Gargoyles, complete with Keith “My Body is Ready” David. This series is genuinely batshit and loves it, but this is a LOT to ask dramatically, a lot to rewrite expectation wise and a lot to thinka bout. There’s a reason besides sleep deprevation it took me a whlie to fully grasp how I felt. So if you don’t like it fine, but i’m going to make my best case. 

Starting with something that made me realize I fully like it: It dosen’t invalidate Webby’s charcter. The one little problem I had left was “Well dosen’t Webby having the McDuck bloodline mean she couldn’t be specail if she wasn’t a McDuck? That sure the rest of the cast are specail but you can’t be really important without it?” Honestly.. no. Webby is who she is not because she’s a McDuck.. but because she’s Webby. She got her martial arts and mystery solving skills through Beakly and being raised. She had intate talent sure.. but as we’ve seen with the boys through the whole series, talent has to be honed. Skill has to be earned and learned.  Webby worked hard to research other civilizations, worked hard to hone herself into a deadly fighting machine with her mother’s help, worked hard to be every bit as cool as her idol who turned out to be her biological dad. She earned her badassery, her wisdom and her courage SQUARE. 

And more than that she’s her own person. Her adoptive parent and biological parent are both paranoiacs afraid of betryal, unwilling to trust, and slow to let anyone in. By all accounts Webby should be the same.. but she’s not. Oh sure she has some paranoia and is willing to slit some throats, she was raised by the world’s best spy and is the daughter of the world’s greatest hero, that was never going to be gone entirely. But at her core she just wants to trust people. She just wants to love them and be loved. And.. that’s why her family loves her. Because she’s the kindest, the warmest and the best of them. They love her because she’s Webby and that’s she’s family, they could care less who she’s related to. All it really changes is how Scrooge acts around her and that gives us fans tons to work with. 

It’s also expertly revealed, which helped ease us into it. Webby is just as shocked and confused as we are and is seriously hurt, which makes her vulnerable to the villains. Kate Miccui deserves a goddamn award for voice acting and if their isn’t an award show for that their should be. While she’s been fantastic with Webby all series long this is her finest performance, going from Webby’s usual self, to all the hurt she goes through.. to her quitter moments at the end, calling Scrooge dad and giving out a little noise that makes it clear as Beakly tries to leave, that no.. she’ still her family.. she’s still her mom and she’s not going anywhere. 

As for the concept being a bit ridiculous yes it is.. but so is this universe. This universe is entirely insane in the best fucking way possible: I mean.. look at this final group shot. 

We have an old man whose somehow still alive simply because he was too busy to die, an inventor whose cloned himself multiple times so clones are fesable and is probably a clone himself given how the last finale went, an awkward armored superhero and his biotech filled girlfriend, a small boy robot weapon of discretion who put his head on his brother’s body, a no longer headless manhorse former harbinger of the apocalypse with the silky voice of keith david as one big homage to gargoyles, a lesbian living shadow and her sister, a superhero who based himself on a fictional character and his boyfriend/sidekick who by all accounts should be dead by now, a lesbian military superheroine from the moon, STORKULES COCKBLOCKER OUT OF MYTH, his moong goddes sister, two adopted family stunt pilots, a bunch of super intelligent mice, an odd duck whose kinda sorta dating a giant shrimp, his cousin with super luck powers, my globetrotting boys, an immortal treasure hunter and in the family proper: a former spy turned adopted mom of a clone, a woman who lived on the moon for a good decade, a man who once trapped everyone in what would essentially be the plot of the mcu’s second best work by pure accident, a blue boy whose piloted a plain, captained pirates, and has his own talk show, a green boy whose ran a multi-trillion dollar company, nearly destroyed all of time and space and is under investigation for fraud, and a red boy who has a hulk-esque rage filled embodiment of all his suppressed emotions, whose fondest wish was tall legs, and who can easily take out a giant magica supermachine with some fancy wiring. So the richest duck in the world having a clone daughter, while divisvie and what not.. is far more plausable than we give it credit for. As are her new sisters who Id in’t forget but are part of the whole twist. 

So yeah, I like the twist and my nitpick is more that despite having a full season to set it up.. they saved it for the last episode. Instead of BUILDING on Webby’s desire to know more about her family and having the twins show up earlier.. it’s all shove into the finale. It’s a well done shoving but there’s so much that could be explored with Webby being Scrooge’s daughter, so much that futzes with the regular family dynamics and we don't’ get any of it. Sure it was probably saved for a possible season 4 but they treated this season as the last. Manny being an apocalyptic man horse voiced by the uber sexy keith david, and no I will not stop bringing that up even outside of it’s own section and why yes it is getting it’s own section, is the kind of revelation you can leave for one last episode. “One of the main cast is a clone” really isn’t and that’s disapointing. 

Especially since thinking back to life and times.. Webby IS a lot like Scrooge was before circumstance hardened him. She’s tough, resourceful.. but also has a peppy spirit to her. It adds interesting shades to her character, where she zigs where Scrooge zags, how much of it is her upbringing with Granny versus his with his parents, how much did Beakley play into it. There’s A lot to dig into and given I have most of the series left to review, I will get to dig into it, and there’s a lot to be explored in fanfic so if I wasn’t already planning a massive one before I sure as fuck am now. So it’s not a bad twist nor bad we get to write the future.. but I do wish the crew THEMSELVES had done more with it. Still my bar for “not fucking up the entire show” is pretty low after Star Vs ended with her committing implied genocide to stop a genocide and How I Met Your Mother ended “But the real journey was in how much I want to bang, bang bangity bang I said a bang bang bangity bang your aunt robin now your mother conveniently died”. I can handle “This twist is kind of weird but also really intresting.” If the twist isn’t for you, as I said i get it. This is my opinion. Now for the thing I won’t shut up about. 

I LIVE AGAIN:

Look i’ve made no secret how thirsty I am for Keith David nor how much of a national treasure I rightly believe him to be. He’s one of my faviorite voice actors, with a mind boggling number of awesome rolls, mostly recently as a fowl mouthed coffe cup encouraging a teacher to sabotage his rival teachers breaks on close enough. Even if I didn’t like Gargoyles, which I do, i’d have an entire section talking about that Manny reveal. 

Manny was already objectively one of the best parts of the show, a hilariously weird addition that was also relatable as he just wanted to fit in. I did not know you could make him better. Then they gave him Keith David’s voice and revealed he’s one of the four horseman of the apocalypse, but doesn’t want to end the world he just wants to be a normal dude, AND turned him into a shout out to the last part of the disney afternoon they hadn’t touched, my favorite part of it and a show i’ve been sitting on watching in full for far too long. Motherfucking Gargoyles. 

But given how unique it was for the Disney Afternoon and how much Disney had no desire to ever reference or use the franchise, still no fucking clue as to why they are sitting on money here, I expected it to be sadly but understandably left out. Instead they made Manny into an expy for them, gave him the voice of their leader Goliath, the voice of an angel, and had him say “I LIVE AGAIN” complete with the utterly transcendent theme song. Seriously give it a listen. 

So yeah I couldn’t not mark out at this. Amazing fucking stuff and almost as unexpected as the clone thing and easily my second faviorite part of the fiinale only NARROWLY topped by the curtain call. Which we’ll get to. Keith David took his time getting to this series but they saved the best guest voice for last. Utter tremendous. 

Huey Season?: I”ll save more of this for my breakdown as the season as a whole but yeah while the finale as a whole was good.. I do feel Huey got short changed. He got PLENTY of development this season, and some REALLY good scenes with Bradford.. but ultimately he got overshadowed by the Webby thing. it just never quite felt like Huey got a real resolution to his character arc the way his brothers did. He still got some REALLY good moments, his “Just cough up the information Bentina!” was one of his finest and Danny Pudi did his best. The BUILDUP was good but hte payoff was non existant and easily the weakest part of an otherwise triumphant finale. I feel the final plot was ultimately just a bit too jam packed to really have Huey feel vital to it the way Dewey was to the Della arc and Louie was to his own arc. Both tgot big emotional payoffs in his finale but the most I could gather here was he accepted adventure? I guess. It just really feels off, like I missed the payoff to everything when it’s probably just nonexistent and that bothers me a lot. In a finale that was almost all hit.. this was easily the biggest misstep. I don’t have as much to say here on it.. but that’s because it’s really that simple: they gave Huey’s arc a ton of build up in this last episode and some of his others, really made him into Bradford’s good counterpart.. then just sorta.. forgot it because “oh shit Webby’s scrooge’s daughter kinda need to pull focus here”. Had they given this arc at least one more episode, we might of had time for it. Granted i’m not sure how much they could get away with but we clearly needed at least one more episode and what they chose to jettision, the climax to Huey’s story.. was way more important than they clearly thought and i’m heavily disappointed. 

Bradford’s Big Hole Speaking of payoffs the missing mysteries payoff.. is a mixed bag. I expected all of them to combine some how into some elaborate plan I just wasn’t seeing. In hindsight it does make sense that wasn’t it: Bradford hates overcomplicated schemes, so his would be incredibly simple and require as few moving parts as possible. It still dosen’t stop the fact that the big plan to cap off the entire series built over a season... was to build a giant stygian hole of non existence to throw people into. 

Yes really. Instead of using the Payprus to write them out of existance, if carefully worded or try doing it all at once or anything practical.. Bradford just plans to shove everything he dosen’t want in the world anymore into a hole.  Look i’ts not like it ruins the episode, there’s still tons of tension from him holding Scrooge’s loved ones over his hole and threating to throw them into it’s gaping void. And it’s foiled by a 12 year old just.. shutting it off. Like I get him leaving an off switch on, that’s just common sense.. but why wouldn’t he have a remote or something to turn it back on? one with a password or something to lock it. There’s something inherently underwhelming about as series ending plan that can be summed up “hope no one shuts my unguarded hole. “

The finale does make for it by using the missing mysteries all in VERY clever ways. In fact every episode in the season had some sort of payoff here. It’s what makes up for how baffling the main plan is: every other thing, from the missing mysteries to the guest stars has lead up to this one moment, this one final adventure. Which leads me too

An Hurricane of Payoffs:

So from the top Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks!: Isabella Finch herself ends up being VITAL to the story and to Bradford’s backstory, as does Junior Woodchucking as a whole. Quack Pack!: Gene is the fuel for Blot’s glove.. though he also fucks off right afterwords.. never to be seen again or help out at any point...

Double-O-Duck in You Only Crash Twice!: This was the most unexpected and elevated the episode in hindsight for me as what seemed like a waste of time.. wound up setting up the first part of the finale, and the final battle with Steelbeak, and in clever ways with Steelbeak using the intelliray on himself, Launchpad muttering the map in his sleep via his smart self and Dewey remembering the base layout. 

The Lost Harp of Mervana: Used as a lie detector for that heartbreaking interrogation scene. 

Louie’s Eleven: Introduced Daisy setting up Donald’s plot which i’ll get to. 

Astro BOYD: My baby boy comes back for this episode! He also gets one of the best lines of it “I’m a Head!”. That is the most ralph wiggum the boy has ever been. I’m so proud. 

Rumble For Ragnarok: Okay I was wrong nothing from this one comes back. Still a great episode. Same with the trickening. Both are VERY stellar episodes though, so I give it a pass. You can’t give a nod to EVERYTHING. 

The Phantom and the Sorceress: The Blot and Super Sayian God Super Sayian Lena, as well as Lena’s character development from said episode.  They Put a Moonlander on the Earth!: Launchpad helping Penny realize her purpose.  Forbidden Fountain: Jeeves is un-babied as a trap Let’s Get Dangerous!: Drake and Gosalyn Return, and Solageo’s Circut ends up being vital to the climax.. in the strangest and funnest way to say possible but still. It counts.  Escape from the Impossibin: Beakley’s near breakdown at the idea FOWL has come back. It was already heartbreaking and the first adventure had made it even more so.. but now it’s out and out DEVISTATING. The one thing after her daughter is not only back.. but SHE’S the reason he’s in Scrooge’s life and home and her giving up SHUSH has now left her wide open. 

The Split Sword: Probably the best out of all of these as it ends up directly playing into the climax in an awesome way i’m saving for Bradfords New Gods: Storkules shows up. Okay so that every episode claim bit me on the ass. Also when did these two meet? I mean probably at end of spear of selene but the more important question is WHY DID YOU ROB  ME OF THESE TWO MEETING AT ANY POINT IN THE SERIES. 

The First Adventure: Naturally the Payprus comes back as Does herons needling bradford to stop denying what he is. 

Fight For Castle McDuck: Suprisingly the blessed bagpipes ended up being VITALLY important. And giving us sexiest man alive infinity years running Keith David for an episode.  Last Christmas; Santa Cameo

Beaks in the Shell: Gandra being taken and the Lost Library being setup for this episode. 

Lost Cargo: The Stone of What Was. And Credit where its due what FELT like simply a filler episode with a tantengal connectoin.. ended up probably being one of the most important episodes. Fair play. 

Life and Crimes: Magica turning Bradford into a non sentient bird, like what happened to her brother.... proving once again this episode really REALLY needed as subplot attached to lead into the finale or something. 

Bonus Round: Pilot payoffs by the pound. Seriously Scrooge and Donald’s last lines to each other, the badass return of “I’m a Pilot”, more on that in a minute, and even other smaller call backs like “Keep Getting Up” and webby sucessfully getting some juice to Louie’s pride. All top notch stuff and it really makes the finale FEEL like one with all this coming back full circle. So i’ve hinted at it enough, let’s bring on the bad guy. 

The First Woodchuck

We’ve had some mixed payoffs so let’s get to one that’s just out and out excellent. Bradford Buzzard.. is the best villian the show ever had. Now I will give the caveat that my favorite forever and always will be

You know it, I know it. But Bradford is the best genuine threat of the series, with Marc Evan Jackson perfectly balancing his menace and genuine evil.. with his steadfast believe that he isn’t evil, and his calm, controlled business demeanor. It’s one of the best performances of the show and he deserves all the credit for it and after seeing him in supporting roles for his career, even if his role as Kevin on Brooklyn Nine-Nine is fucking awesome and I’m sad that show is ending, it’s nice to see him step into a big meaty role as the big bad and utterly nail it. 

And the finale.. pays eveyrthing off with him, apart from the plan itself perfectly. Starting off him being revealed as Isabella Finch’s grandson... was  a stroke of genius. I didn’t expect her to come back in play but it gives perfect reason both why he knew about the mysteries.. and why he’s like this. 

Like Scrooge did with his nephews, niece and daughter, Isabella dragged Bradford all around the world seeing the unseen, thinking it was fun. The problem was... Bradford HATED it. He hated every minute of it, like as one post pointed out Rusty Venture from the Venture bros, and felt he should be in school. He wanted a normal life and a normal world and not.. this waking nightmare. So to him, fixing the world, stopping this sort of thing is the only way and that doing so is a good thing. His problem is how he adapted to it.

We see that best in his mirror images, the people he’s in direct contrast with and the show knows it. Starting off with the one he’s not like at all is Scrooge. Part of what makes Bradford perfect is he’s Scrooge’s evil opposiite. The Luthor to His Superman, The Joker to his Batman, the Green Goblin to his Spider-Man, the Iron Monger to his Iron Man, the Sinestro to his Green Lantern. Both come from a long line of adventure but while Scrooge embraces that and loves it, Bradford hates it and wants to destroy it. One is energetic and always ready, the other’s calm, calculated. And one sees what he is.. and the other dosen’t. Simple as that.

But his other mirror’s are more like him, moving onto Huey. Their both woodchucks, both prefer caution and planning, and both want to make some sense of a nonsensical world. Both want to feel safe when they constnatly don’t. One’s prone to panic attack the other’s calm. But what makes Huey the better man... is that he accepts the world is the way he is. It goes all the way back to terror of the terrafirmains. While he was all for adventure he started his doubting things, not beliving things were real.. because the reality that there are some things you just can’t prepare for, just can’t know, and you can’t be always ready.. it shattered him. He nearly let himself die rather than live knowing what’s out there. Webby pulled him out of that, literally and figuratively.. and he never went back. Sure he still tries to have an order to things, still breaks when his structure’s broken.. but it’s gone from a paranoid fear of the unknown and weird to embracing it. To relishing in finding unsolved mysteries and new clues to unlock, to finding new things to explore. He went from seeing this chaotic world as something to run from, to embracing and studying it. To loving it the way it is the way his family loves him for who he is. Bradford.. denies reality belongs the way it is and wants to force it into what HIS idea of it is Superboy Prime Style. The world isn’t waht he thought it should be so he’ll MAKE it that way. Huey grew as a person.. while his arc didn’t have a full payoff.. it still pays off here by showing what he COULD’VE been. had he let his earlier fear and his always present neurosis drive him like Bradford has. Let his big brain make him think he knows what’s better for EVERYONE instead of using it to genuinely help people. Bradford lacks the boys heart and empathy and that’s why he fell. Huey had his family backing him, his best friends coming to get him, and his brothers ultimately rescue him. Bradford.. threw his only true ally down a styigan murder hole. 

Finally.. we have the one that’s not brought up directly.. but is very much there. Donald. While the two don’t interact hardly at all... it’s VERY fitting that Donald is the one Bradford picks to threaten Scrooge with. Like Bradford... Donald grew to hate adventure, he wanted to get as far away from it as possible and took it from his boys for as long as he could. Granted that was in part Bradford’s fault, and that was an INCREDIBLY clever twist: it dosen’t make him entirley responsible or anything that robs the moment of it’s imapct, Della still chose to take it out by herself, she still lied to Donald and she still got lost all by her own decision and impuslviness. But it fits perfectly into it: Bradford’s horrifying smile when Scrooge gets taken away from saving her is even WORSE now with full context, and it still fits that knowing about the project.. he’d want to set it up to screw up Scrooge’s life. I don’t think he sabotaged the rocket or anything, too obvious and something Della would’ve mentioned by now.. but he knew it was unfinished. 

Back to the parallel the diffrence is once again.. change. Donald let go of his hate of scrooge and his past and realized it wasn’t all bad. He let himself grow as a person after a decade of bitterness and anger. But most tellingly and poignantly is Quack Pack... both had a chance to make a world that was safe, normal and what they always wanted. Both out of terror of the danger of this world.  Thing is.. Donald’s was noble. He feared for his kids, his sister, his uncle.. loosing one again and any of them at all. He wanted a normal life to be safe, to hide from that.. but it’s not what THEY wanted or who they are. He accepted that’s not how the world works and how it does.. is still pretty great. And his growth shows: he’s ending the series planning to go off with his girlfriend globetrotting, KNOWING things might not be safe, but diving into adventure, having accepted it as part of him. He even finds some new family and takes in two girls who badly needed a home. He learned to accept things how they are... and Bradford refuses, not beliving in this world as it is and vowing to force it into the way he wants it to be. 

And it’s that inherent selfishness.. that makes Bradford the Cartoon Supervillian he desperatley claims he isn’t. Bradford dosen’t care how many lives it takes, how much worse it makes the world, or how many people he has to stab in the back... the world WILL be “normal”. Bradford cares for no one and nothing except his own ambition. He kills Heron despite her loyality, and his own clones who loyally served him.. simply because their chaos too. No one or nothing else matters, not how they feel, not their right to exist.. only HIS vision. If he wanted to keep the world safe he’d be more of a hero, if still throughly a bastard... but he dosen’t. He wants to make it “normal”. He wants the world the way he thinks it shoudl be and damn anyone else and perfectly represents all the old assholes like him today who refuse to accept something diffrent or against the norm because “that’s how it’s always been”.  Like those real world assholes.. Bradford is wrong. The Duckverse is beauitful how it is in it’s chaos and risk and love. And he just can’t see it because it’s not what he WANTS to see. 

And that’s why I also love the Sword giving him big, black and red classic villianous monster, slowly mutating him as he fights the duck family. Because that’s his inner strength: he may deny he’s a villian but he’s forcing his will on others, refuses to see the world as it is for selfish reasons, and is willing to kill his own friends and allies if it means getting it. He’s the bad guy. And while he denies it to those around him... it’s clear from the fact the sword is working for him that he KNOWS IT, he knows he’s a villian and this is just what he wants but is so up his own ass he can’t SAY it or admit it. And in the end he’s fully beaten by the fact that his forcing his will on everything’s what’s unnatural: While his plan was ingenious, have scrooge sign a contract agreeing never to adventure again, since he’s right Scrooge would solve nonexistance it’s the same reason “launch hulk into space” only resulted in a smarter, more skilled hulk coming back with a space army to get revenge. He just didn’t bank on the inherent rediclousness of the unvierse: family really is the greatest adventure of all.. and the papyrus accepted it. It was the one thing he coudln’t palnf or because he can’t see the woirld how it is.. and that’s why he lost. He was so confident how he saw the world and how he worked was the only way... another way beat him. 

His fate.. was also awesome and endleslly apporirate. Being mocked by the other villians who while less capable aside from Magica, at least admit what they are and what their doing.. and turned into a Vulture for Magica, left to be a mindless lackey in tons of chaotic schemes for the rest of his life. It couldn’t of happened to a nicer jackass. Okay three more sections to go. Let’s go.

Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away With Daissssyyyy

Donald’s leaving for a long, romantic adventure with Daisy is the perfect capper to Doanld’s character. Donald started the series hating adventure: blaming it for della being gone, his rough times during it, and wanted to escape it in the boat and keep from loosing his kids to it. He felt like a looser for not having reached his dreams or properly provided for his nephews, when really he did his best and still raised three wonderful kids. A bit overproective, god yes.. but despite his grief and anger he still got through ten years with them on his own merits, hard work and determination. 

As the series went he reconclied with his past, realized Scrooge lost something too and that blaming him soley when it was Della’s choice was just taking his anger out on the one person he had left to take it out on instead of embracing his only family left, accepted Storkules as his friend (JUST his friend), accepted adventure through quack pack realizing that while it may be weird, dangerous and sometimes stressful for him... it’s what his family love doing and they should be who they are instead of who he wants them to be, and finally.. accepted himself by finding Daisy, someone who loves him for who he is, and literally and metaphorically understands him and turned right back around from dumping him to save him from a giant monster she roared at. He’s finally at peace. 

And that’s why leaving. Not forever, He , Daisy, and his girls will be back in a few months or even a month. It’s very clear this is a vacation.. but it’s one  he’s earned.  He’ll always love his boys, his surrogate daughter/cousin, his sister, and his best buddy launchpad. But it’s okay for him to want to form his OWN family, to spend time with his future wife and show her the world. To make his own story for once instead of sharing it. To find his voice. 

I also find it very poetic that a story that started with Donald raising his nephews like their dad.. ends with him adopting two more children. Two kids whose lives had been misrable: rapidly aged in tubes, deemed failures, constantly bellittled by the closest things they have for parents, so desperate for answers they’d kidnap their own sister and betray her trust and do things they know are wrong, And all this.. for nothing as their  Dad kills their mom, bad as she was, and plans to kill them. And Donald’s first thought when given the chance to have a kid free time to himself, with no guilt having earned it? To take these girls in, start his own family, if Daisy’s cool with it mind he thankfully clearly called to talk this over first, and give them their own. Because that’s who Donald is, a good man whose finally earned his happy ending and the life he always wanted.. and accepted who he always was. An adventuerer, a loving fiance.. and  dad. 

The Real Hero: One last one before the bonus round and a quick one. The Launchpad Scene.. was one of the shows best. His arc in this episode of thinking he’s not a hero.. made sense. He’s been plenty heroic.. but his boyfriend is a martial arts and gymnastics savant and one of his three best friends has a giant suit of armor and is a genius. But the payoff made even more: He may not be the strongest, the most skilled or the smartest.. but he has the heart of a hero. He’s always been the kindest, most trusting, most friendly one of the main family, a guy who never gives up, even when he should, never surrenders and loves everybody. And that’s why he’s inspired so many people: Fenton to not give up after his firing and keep going, leading to his path as Gizmoduck. When Drake was lost, his fllm gone and his mentor seemingly dead (In fact skulking around the sewers like an evil ninja turtle), and his future unclear... TOLD HIM he could be Darkwing, that he could become the hero they both ihdolized and the inspiration to kids he wanted to be by his own bootstraps, and he gave Gosalyn faith in darkwing and hope at at time she had none. He also gave those mice their freedom. Not as poignant but you try creating the rescue rangers and see how far you get. I’ve lost a lot of chipmunks and mice that way. 

Launchpad’s last stand makes up for his lack of being in the season during the final  half. Launchpad realizing that despite his quirks he’s just as noble, valuable and wonderful as his families, both of them. And that he is a pilot. Sure he gets the gizmoduck armor.. but the armor isn’t what makes hi ma hero... i’ts being launchpad that makes him a hero. Loving adopted dad, wonderful partner, best friend... and a pilot

Bonus Round:

Okay this is just stray stuff from throughout the episode I didn’t have several paragraphs worth of material on before we get to the final thoughts. But it had so much good I can’t not talk about it. So...

Gyro calling Little Bulb BOYD’s brother. My heart wept. So sweet. As was him fixing his son at the end. BOYD has the two loving families he deserves.. and the brother he deserves.. and the brother he dosen’t deserve who will probably also is skulking around the sewers like an nafarious ninja turtle as the series ends. 

Gosalyn fixing up Darkwing’s outfit for him. Awwww. Adopt that child you coward. Also if they don’t base the reboot on frank’s work here, I will riot. 

“Just cough up the information Bentina!” that was just pure comedy gold especially the sheer fear radiating off him. Also right. 

Manny’s “I can explain” and , once he has silky smooth keith david voice going “Come on man I just want to live my life.” That man is a legend. 

Dewey and Louie just not talking the “you kids stay behind shit” pointing out both their stake in this and how they’ll just go anyway and him proudly accepting it. Given the kids turned the tied of things a lot, good call. 

Dewey and Don Karnage singing their own background music as they air joust. Hell yes. 

Pepper got a promotion! Goodf or her... it’s meaningless now but hey she has a partner in both senses. 

Speaking of pepper she had the best line of the episode “He’s a grown man who has the strength of a baby!”. Only Amy Sedaris could’ve given that delivery just the perfect way she did. 

The Funzo’s opening sequence was dynamite, from how well set up it was as an infilfration, to Webby having learned how to scam free drinks (Louie was so proud), to Lena cheating for her sister at DDR, to Scrooge paying full price.. it was wonderful> The payoff was also great as rather than be mad her special day was used as part of an elabroate spy operation.. she’s giddy. Because of course she is. Two specitic  bits that get their own items

The Cabs came back one last time! It dosen’t effect my now finished retrospective, but after spending all that time with them it was nice to see them for what will probably be the last time for some time. 

The whole scene where Della finds out about the trip. Just all of it. Her casually and accidentally choking daisy TWICE, Fethry, who sadly did not get an episode this season, being the one to blab about it and only realizing it .. after repeating that they told him not to, and Gladstone who not only was casually winning at Skeeball while his cousins both got pissed at it, relateable as hell, but then awkwardly escorting his baby cousin out of the situation. 

“Satstically with Hubert gone one of us should be pancking but WHO I ASK YOU WHO?” As if I needed more evidence they were perfect for each other. 

Lena just.. slumping over after Dewey finally has her drop the cloak. Comedy gold. BOYD scanning her later likewise so. 

The second best line and line read of the episode goes to Louie/Bobby Monihan. “That is not comforting, I do not want to die”. He couldn’t of summed up Louie in one line any better. 

Ludvwig was a national treasure.  Not only did I squeel internally when it turned out he was alive but the explination for it was hilarious as it was batshit, and him just causally revealing Webby’s origin was fucking amazing “Ill give you all a moment ot process” The acomplanying “bless me bagpipes” was also amazing. 

I do wish we found out where FOWL went but it was probably to leave the remains all free to come back as villians of the week. Frank outright said they had a tailspin sequel episode ready to go.

The Webby and June fight was a masterpiece and I REALLY need to do a top 12 fights list someday. 

Lena connecting with the new twins , having pretty much the same background of being created by a villian for shitty reasons. 

“one is silver and the other is “ “Flintheart glomgold!” they should consider a teamup. What’s a little brainwashing between friends?

“We’re sisters’. No you and violet are sisters, Webby is your girlfriend your both just in denial. I only say this because Webby also thinks Della and Penny are just friends and I feel she simply dosen’t know what being gay is or again is in denial. They’ll get there. Plus it feels like Lena just didn’t want to loose her and would say anything which is valid. 

Curtain Call and Final Thoughts:

The Curtain Call was the perfect way to end a spectacular finale. Each bit of it’s a masterpiece, and every character gets one last awesome, heartfelt and hilarous goodbye with the camera and ending how it should: on our five most important characters, in a circle, together, smiling, freefaling into the next adventure. I”d have it no other way and any other series finale credits and last moments will now pale in comparison. 

So the finale as a whole is messy, some bits aren’t resolved as good as they could’ve been, Huey go the shaft, and it REALLY needed another episode leading into it to help take the pressure off. While it needed 90 minutes for the plot it had to tell, it needed more to build up to that and while the season was tight with episodes they BADLY needed one more they didn’t get or even a subplto to help take the load off this episode. 

But even with that... it was an utterly awesome finale on par with other recent standouts like “Let’s Fight to the End”/ “Thank you For Watching the Show” (Both feel like finales to me but in diffrent ways), “The Future” and the whole arc leading up to it, both parts of “Heart” and “Nice While It Lasted” . It was heartstopping, heartrending and heartfelt and ended the show as it should be: with over the top insanity, big reveals, a hell of a final battle.. and a focus on family. It’s not the perfect finale, and I defintely need more ducktales.. but it’s still a classic one and one of the series finest hours.. literally in this case. 

I.. am going to miss this series. I went into it before but it’s thanks to this series I make a living. If you’d like to contribute to that, I have a patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, my next stretch goal is a darkwing duck epsiode a month so  kick in a buck won’t you? and take comissions so if theres an episode from the first two seasons that’s not part of the season 1 arc (I’m almost done there) or Lena’s story (already being paid for that) feel free to shoot me a line to comissoin it for five bucks an episode. 

But more than that it was an excellent well crafted show that took a franchise I love and updated it for a new generation. My nieces love it, I love it, and I will always love it for that. Young or old, this show as phenominal, it was stupdendous.. it was a duckblur. It will remain in my heart for probaly the rest of my life among such shows as Steven Universe, Parks and Recreation, The Venture Bros, Letterkenny, DBZ Abriged, and so many more that have touched my life. It was simply the best. And i’m going to miss it. Thank you for reading this, i’ll see you at another rainbow, if not one quite like this.

Next on this Blog: Duck week continues after this review took two days to complete. Sorry about that. Our heroes head to castle McDuck and Dewey is forced to face the consequences of his actions, while Scrooge yells at his dad , his dad yells at him and his mom is the most precious thing tha’ts ever lived. Also Launchpad in Donald Cosplay. And it won’t stop there as till saturday the rest of the week is all dedicated to Ducktales as I finish up the Della and Lena arcs for season 1 and get started on Lena’s last three episodes. So if you liked some ducktales, stick around. And once again.. thank you. 

[devilinsheepswool]

My First Impressions vs My now thoughts on the Obey Me! Babes + Luke

Because I did one for mysme some time back. Spoilers for season 2 and images (not related to the spoilers) ahead, tread with care

Lucifer

First Impression: Jumin Han, but make him a demon

Season 1: *after the attempts on MC's life, and over all ambiguity of his feelings and thoughts on MC* proceed with caution

Season 2: *after Arcadia, Luci being a smug lil shit but such a sweet heart when MC returns to Devildom, the amnesia situation, and willingness to sacrifice himself for MC and his brothers* LUCI, LISTEN TO ME LOVE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU WITHOUT HESITATION BABE

Overall thoughts: listen, I tend to like subs but Luci bae you got me like 💋👀❤👀❤👀💋

Mammon

First Impression: He kinda reminds me of the guys that used to bully me when I was a kid

Season 1: *always protecting MC and caring for them, being basically attached to their hip* You're the only bitch in the house i ever respected.

Season 2: *Mammon being Mammon* I am proposing 👀💍❤

Overall thoughts: YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN I COULD EVER GIVE YOU, OH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY SWEET DEMON BOY

Leviathan

First Impression: I found my new bottom 😏

Season 1: *Levi still being a gigantic tsundere for a majority of the game, even post pact* Levi, sweetie! 💕 Pspspsps! 💗 Levi, darling! 💖 Come here, baby! 💘 Pspspsps! 💓

Season 2: (plus devilgrams) I'mma have all his sea demon babies, and that's a promise ❤👀

Overall thoughts: Fuck me in your ocean monster demon form

Satan

First Impression: 16 year old me's dream man, tbh

Season 1: Such a dapper Cat man~ So posh and chivalrous... Wait, oh?! He gremlin too?! Such gap moe,

Season 2: Any demons here? Got any demons out tonight? Any HORNY 😏 boys? Satan, I know you there babe, pspspsps

Overall thoughts: "Season 2 is over, so I cut off all my shirts sleeves." Why? "Satan was my self control."

Asmo

First Impression: Okay, now this is interesting... not normally an archetype I'm fond of... but I'm kinda diggin him

Season 1: uhm, excuse me waiter? This season lacked a bit too much Asmo's character development for my liking

Season 2: SOLMARE MY BABY BOI JUST WANTS LOVE!!! LET ME LOVE HIM, SOLMARE!!!

Overall thoughts: *Asmo getting cheated out of screen time and MC's love by Solmare* where are my cuddles, where are my kisses? MC, is... evil? MC is unyielding? MC is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my rusack and going out to explore the world like a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this house hold.

Beel

First Impression: kinda scarey... 😟

Season 1: *after the whole Luke situation* I think we're married? But I don't remember a wedding. We might have adopted Luke too, sooo...? I like him, tho, so it's all Gucci with me tbh A REALLY SWEET DEMON MAN

Season 2: Puppy! Gigantic puppy man! BEELzeBABE sweetie I love you, baby! You're doing amazing sweetheart

Overall thoughts: I've had Beel for two seasons now and if anything ever happened to him, I would kill everyone and then myself

Belphie

First Impression: ❤👀 Hey there Miss New Booty 👀❤

Season 1: *after he kills MC and there's no development or elaboration on their relationship*

Season 2: (+ Devilgrams) Listen, everyone gets at least one homicidal psychopathic bad boy, and I've chosen him.

Overall thoughts: Hello, fellow gremlin should we duel to the death for title of "ultimate sarcastic bastard"

Diavolo

First Impression: *Looks down at Diavolo's chest and then quickly back at him* I am looking respectfully 👀👀👀 *internally though vvvv*

Season 1: He's cute, it's a shame we didn't see more of him 😔💔

Season 2: *towards the end, when Diavolo keeps trying to get MC alone* oooooooooh, bet? 😏

Overall thoughts: This man brings out the bottom in me like I have never experienced before

Barbatos

First Impression: I know we just met, and I know I hardly know anything about you but do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Season 1: Listen, you can't give me a man that insanely HOT and then only sprinkle him every here and there in the game!!! That's not right! Gimme the whole slice Solmare!

Season 2: Barbatos, mon cher, they continue to keep us apart, don't they love? But fret not, fate shall not keep us a part for long, I know you'll come for me and I promise I shall be ready for when that day comes

Overall thoughts: He knows how to bake and cook!? Sold, I'm sold! Get me a white dress and him a suit~ 

Solomon

First impression: He radiates pure bastatd energy, he just looks so pleased with himself... I feel like he's hiding something... I like him tho, I'd be his friend.

Season 1: *when the fandom theorized he was evil and shady* "STOP SAYING HE IS EVIL AND SHADY, you don't have all the facts!!!" and those are? "I LOVE HIM 🥺😭"

Season 2: *revealing he's been working hard to come up with a solution to MC's and the 3 realms problems, being protective of MC in Lesson 38* I KNEW IT, I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GOING TO BE EVIL 🥺😭☺️ THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE U ❤❤❤

Overall thoughts: I would die for u tbh

Simeon

First Impression: Oh dreamweaver~ 💕❤💗💘💓💖👌💍🥺😏😚

Season 1:  oh holy shoulders give me strength for I know he is a forbidden man, but rather than give me strength you only seem to test my resilience to reach for the forbidden fruit and test my already crumbling sanity

Season 2: *Simeon alluding to feelings for MC with subtle actions and text messages* *high pitched shrieking only audible to dogs*

Overall thoughts: Have you ever seen a man so perfect you cry? Like, God, his beauty is unbelievable!!!

Luke 

First impression: Yes, operator? I would like the custody of child forms... yeah, I'll hold 💅

Season 1: *when Luke is obviously still afraid and uncomfortable of being in Devildom, and any demon looks at him funny. Especially that one lesson when Lucifer tries to attack him in that catacombs looking place*

Season 2: *watching Luke get more comfortable and even miss Devildom, watching his relationship with Barbatos and Solomon develop* that's growth

Overall thoughts: *after Luke accepted being MC's guardian Angel*

Lilith

First Impression: I know she's supposed to be good... but what if she turns out to be like Rika??? I'm sorry but I can't go through this again, dude

During Season 1: *towards the end when Lilith reveals all the truth to MC* I AM SO SORRY FOR EVER DOUBTING U MAMA LILITH 😭😭😭 U DIDN'T DESERVE THAT I'M SO SORRY

Overall thoughts: Mama Lilith, it's me your bastard great great great descendant. Can you hear me wherever you are? Mama Lilith, I need u girl... come help me again pwease 🙏