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olive-main · 6 months ago

Note

Hi, hope you’re well! Saw your request for angst ideas. If you’re interested: Reader has been part of the Inner Circle for years, like an og member. Post war she watches Az fall in love with Elaine or Gwyn. She’s known they’re mates, but he’s always told her he loves her as a friend, and nobody else knows they’re mates. She watches as his relationship grows, maybe they’re having a kid or whatever, this can be all the angst you see fit. She’s finally had enough and decides to leave (either for work as an emissary or for herself). Maybe as she starts to rebuild, Az and the IC realize how much her loss impacts them. But when they go see her, she’s thriving. Ending can be whatever floats your boat, maybe she’s with Eris or thriving in Day as Lucien’s advisor, or something else all together.

To Love and Let Go

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: An unrequited love, and a one sided mating bond. What will reader do when she can no longer watch Azriel fall for another female who isn’t her?

Wc: 2.9k (gah dayum)

A/N: ok, this is the longggest fic I've written to date, but I don't hate it...and I may be persuaded to write a part two with multiple endings bcs I'm indecisive asf. Requests are still open and highly encouraged since I'm on break and have a bunch of free time, clearly.

Masterlist

The stars are mocking tonight, their gleam far too bright for the storm brewing inside you. Velaris has always been beautiful, but tonight the city feels suffocating. The laughter of your family echoes around the River House’s dining room, filling the space with warmth and joy.

You sit at the edge of the long table, wine in hand, your smile carefully in place. Cassian is in the middle of one of his stories, something about Azriel and a drunken spar decades ago. The table erupts in laughter, and you can’t help but glance at him.

Azriel sits across from you, his shoulders relaxed, his shadows soft and relaxed as they curl lazily around him. He’s laughing—quiet and rare, but enough to tug at your chest in a way you’ve never been able to stop.

Beside him, Gwyn is radiant. She laughs, bright and genuine, her hand resting on his arm as though it’s the most natural thing in the world. His hand shifts, fingers brushing over hers in a way that’s intimate, tender. Simple. Devastating.

You lift your wine to your lips and down the rest of the glass in one burning gulp.

You’ve known for years that Azriel isn’t yours to have. When the Cauldron whispered of your bond, it hadn’t been the joyous revelation you’d dreamed of. Instead, it had been a curse.

You feel it even now—that golden thread tying your soul to his, pulling taut every time you see him. But Azriel never acknowledged it, not once. How could he when he didn't even know it existed?

“You’re my best friend,” he’d told you long ago, sitting beside you on a rooftop in Velaris, the two of you cloaked in silence and shadows. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

And you’d smiled. Smiled and tucked the truth deeper inside yourself, burying it so far down you almost convinced yourself it wasn’t real. Almost.

The conversation shifts around you, but the words blur together, distant and unimportant. You force yourself to stay, to laugh when you’re supposed to, to nod in all the right places.

Across the table, Gwyn leans closer to Azriel, whispering something in his ear. He smiles at her, that soft, secret smile you’ve seen so many times over the years. But it’s never been for you.

The ache in your chest spreads, sharp and relentless, until you can’t bear it any longer. You push your chair back, the legs scraping loudly against the floor.

“Everything okay?” Mor asks, her brows furrowing as she studies you.

You nod quickly, forcing a tight smile. “Just need some air.”

No one questions you, and you’re grateful for it. You slip out of the room and onto the balcony, the cool night air rushing to meet you. The stars stretch endlessly above, and for a moment, you close your eyes and pretend this life isn’t yours.

But the bond hums faintly in the back of your mind, tethering you to someone who will never feel the same way.

—

You grip the balcony railing, the cool metal grounding you as you draw in a shaky breath. The quiet should feel peaceful, but it doesn’t. Not with the sound of their laughter spilling through the open door behind you, not with the bond thrumming painfully in the back of your mind.

You’ve endured this for years. Watching Azriel laugh, fight, live, all while pretending your heart doesn’t shatter every time he smiles at someone who isn’t you. Gwyn. Elain before her, and Mor long before that. All the women who could never feel what you feel for him—but were lucky enough to have his attention anyway.

And then there’s you, his best friend. The one he trusts, confides in, leans on. Just never in the way you ache for. Even before the bond snapped, you’d been in love with the Shadowsinger. He was always the calm amongst the chaos of your family, the one you could seek refuge in.

The sound of footsteps interrupts your thoughts. You don’t need to look to know it’s him. His shadows reach you first, curling gently around your wrist, hesitant and curious. They always do that, as if they sense the things he doesn’t.

“Are you okay?” Azriel’s voice is soft, warm in a way that makes it harder to breathe.

You release the railing and turn to face him, your mask firmly in place. “I’m fine. Just needed a moment.”

His brows pull together, his hazel eyes studying you in that unrelenting way of his. “You’ve seemed… distracted tonight.”

You force a laugh, shaking your head. “I’m not distracted. Just tired, that’s all.” The lie was easy on your tongue, a lie you’ve repeated more times than you can count.

His shadows shift, curling tighter around you. “You can tell me if something’s wrong,” he says, his voice low, careful.

You want to laugh again. Wrong? Everything is wrong. Your mate is standing in front of you, looking at you with concern while his love sits inside, waiting for him. He doesn’t even feel the bond that’s been tearing you apart for years. How could you possibly tell him the truth?

“I’m fine, Az,” you say again, stepping back, putting distance between you. “Go back inside. Gwyn’s probably wondering where you are.”

Something flickers across his face, but it’s gone before you can place it. He hesitates, his shadows brushing against your hand one last time before retreating.

“All right,” he says quietly. But he doesn’t look convinced.

You watch him go, his wings casting long shadows across the balcony as he disappears into the house. The bond hums faintly, pulling at your heart even as you stand there alone.

—

A part of you wants to blame yourself for never telling him about the mating bond. It was known Azriel always longed for a mate, so much so he had made the bold claim of Elain being his mate once upon a time. Now, he's with Gwyn under that same notion. Unfortunately, your heart had wanted him to love you without the influence of the bond.

Your thoughts persist as you force your eyes shut, trying and failing to fall asleep.

Instead, you lie awake in your bed, staring at the ceiling as the weight of it all presses down on you. You’ve built your entire life around the Inner Circle, around him. And for what? To watch him build a life with someone else? To keep breaking your own heart over and over again?

No.

When dawn comes, the decision is already made.

—

“Are you sure about this?” Feyre asks, her hand resting lightly on your arm.

You stand in the foyer of the River House, your bags already packed and waiting by the door. The soft morning light filters through the windows, casting golden hues over everything. It should feel warm. Comforting. But all you feel is the ache of goodbye.

“I’m sure,” you say, and your voice doesn’t waver.

Rhysand stands a few paces away, arms crossed, his violet eyes sharp and assessing. You were like a sister to him, someone he’d protected and seen through every phase of life. “You don’t have to do this,” he says gently. “We can figure something out. If you need time off, time for yourself—”

“I need more than time, Rhys,” you interrupt, forcing a small smile to soften the blow. “I need space. A fresh start. This is the right move for me.”

You’d rehearsed this conversation a dozen times, carefully framing your departure as a professional opportunity. An emissary position in Day Court. Helion had been eager to accept your offer, praising your skills and promising a new challenge that you could sink your teeth into.

It wasn’t a lie. You would thrive in Day Court. But it wasn’t the whole truth either.

Feyre’s grip on your arm tightens, her lips pressing together as if she’s holding back an argument. “I just… I don’t want you to feel like you’re running away,” she says softly.

You glance past her, your eyes catching on the open archway leading to the dining room. You can feel him in there, his shadows faint even from this distance. The bond pulls, a sharp tug against your ribs.

“I’m not running away,” you tell her, even though part of you wonders if that’s exactly what this is. “I’m choosing myself for once.”

Rhys nods slowly, his expression unreadable. “If that’s what you need, then we support you. Always.”

A lump rises in your throat, but you swallow it down, turning to hug Feyre. “Thank you. For everything.”

—

Azriel watches from the shadows of the dining room as you leave. He doesn’t mean to linger there, doesn’t mean to eavesdrop—but he can’t help it.

He hears Feyre’s quiet goodbye, Rhys’s reassurances. He sees the way your shoulders straighten as you step out the door, as if you’re carrying a weight none of them can understand.

Something twists in his chest, sharp and unfamiliar.

He doesn’t understand it. You’ve left Velaris before, gone on missions and trips for weeks at a time. But this feels… different. Permanent.

For a moment, he almost steps forward, almost calls out to you. But then the door closes, and you’re gone.

—

The Day Court is a world apart from Velaris.

Here, the sun always seems to shine, casting a golden glow over Helion’s sprawling palace. It’s vibrant, full of life, and for the first time in years, you feel as though you can finally breathe.

Helion welcomes you with open arms, praising your work and throwing you headfirst into new projects. The days are busy, your nights peaceful, and slowly—very slowly—the ache in your chest begins to fade.

You make new allies and friends. Lucien, especially, becomes an unexpected source of comfort. He understands unspoken bonds, the pain of being tied to someone who doesn’t want you. For the first few weeks, most, if not all your time was spent by his side.

“You’re free now,” he tells you one evening, the two of you sitting on a balcony overlooking the Day Court gardens. His amber eyes glint in the fading sunlight. “It doesn’t feel like it yet, but it will. One day.”

You smile, a real smile, and let the words settle in your chest.

—

Back in Velaris, the Inner Circle feels the void you’ve left behind. Cassian complains loudly during training sessions about how things don’t run as smoothly without you. Mor keeps suggesting trips to Day Court, half-joking but half-serious. Even Feyre finds herself reaching for you during meetings, only to realize you’re no longer there.

And Azriel…

Azriel notices most of all.

He misses the quiet way you steadied him, the way you always seemed to know what he needed before he did. The balance you brought to the group. To him.

At first, he tells himself it’s just an adjustment. You’ll be back eventually. But as the weeks stretch into months, he begins to realize just how deeply your absence has cut into his life.

The shadow of the bond hums faintly in the back of his mind, but he doesn’t understand why.

Not yet.

—

It’s Feyre who suggests the trip.

“You’ve been working too hard,” she tells Azriel, shooting him with a look that leaves no room for argument. “We all have. A visit to Day Court will do us some good. Besides, it’s been too long since we’ve seen her.”

Azriel hesitates but eventually agrees. He tells himself it’s curiosity, that he just wants to see how you’re settling in. Since you’ve left his relationship with everyone, Gywn especially, has grown distant. He tries to find you in her, comparing the small things that shouldn’t matter—and every time it only makes his heart sink.

When they arrive, they find you in the Day Court gardens, laughing at something Lucien has said. The sunlight catches in your hair, your face glowing with a happiness Azriel hasn’t seen in years.

The gardens are breathtaking, a vibrant sprawl of golden blooms and gleaming fountains that seem to echo the brilliance of the sun overhead. But Azriel doesn’t see any of it.

His focus is entirely on you.

You look radiant, the golden hues of Day Court seeming to highlight the confidence you’ve gained in your time away.

Lucien leans closer, his expression soft yet intent, and the sight makes something dark and ugly twist in Azriel’s chest. It’s not the first time he’s seen Lucien or been jealous of the male, but this—this—feels different. He used to feel that pang of jealousy when he blindly pined for Elain, now with you it returned with a greater force.

He doesn’t understand why these feelings have suddenly spread through him. You’ve always been his friend. His anchor. But as Lucien reaches out to brush a stray hair from your face, Azriel feels like he’s watching something slip through his fingers.

“Az?” Feyre’s voice pulls him back. She’s watching him with careful eyes, her brow furrowing.

He shakes his head and straightens his posture, forcing his expression back into neutral territory. “I’m fine.” But he isn’t.

Before Feyre can press him further, Lucien notices their approach and gives a low whistle. “Well, well. Velaris sends its finest.” His tone is teasing, but there’s warmth in his amber eyes as they flick toward you.

You turn, and when your gaze lands on Azriel, your smile falters. It’s a subtle shift, but he sees it. Feels it.

“Rhysand. Feyre. Azriel,” you greet, inclining your head slightly, your voice polite but distant. As if they were strangers and not the family you chose all those centuries ago.

He hates it.

The reunion is cordial at first, filled with pleasantries and talk of work. Lucien stands close to you, his presence steady, his hand occasionally brushing yours in a way that grounds you. Azriel’s shadows stir restlessly, but he forces them into submission.

“You’ve done well here,” Feyre says warmly, her gaze sweeping over the garden. “It suits you.”

“Thank you.” Your smile is genuine, though it doesn’t quite reach Azriel. “Helion has been… generous with his trust.”

“And with his emissary’s time,” Lucien adds, grinning at you. “She’s a natural. Can’t imagine how Day Court managed before she arrived.”

The praise makes you duck your head slightly, a faint blush blooming across your cheeks. Azriel’s jaw tightens.

“Sounds like you’ve been keeping busy,” he says, his voice lower than usual.

Your eyes flick to him briefly before turning back to Lucien, but there’s something guarded in your expression. “I have. It’s been… fulfilling.”

The word stings more than it should.

—

Eventually, Feyre and Rhys drift away with Lucien, leaving you and Azriel alone amidst the golden flowers. The silence stretches between you, heavy with unspoken words.

“You’ve been… different,” he says finally, breaking the silence.

You glance at him, your arms folding across your chest. “Different how?”

He hesitates, searching for the right words. “Happier,” he admits.

The softness in his voice almost makes you falter, but you stand your ground. “I am,” you say simply.

His shadows curl around his feet, agitated. “You left so suddenly,” he says, his tone sharper now. “One day you were there, and the next you were… gone. No warning. No explanation.”

You raise an eyebrow, bitterness creeping into your voice. “I told you I needed space. I told all of you.” You pause for a second, staring at a cluster of white lilies. “Why does it matter now, Azriel?”

“Because I miss you,” he says, the words raw and unguarded. “We all do. But me… I—” He stops himself, jaw clenching.

You laugh softly, but it’s a hollow, bitter sound. “You miss me now? After I’ve finally started to find peace? After you’ve built a life with Gwyn?”

His shadows surge forward, brushing against your arm, but you shake them off. “Don’t do this, Azriel.”

“You’re my friend,” he says, and the words make your heart twist painfully.

You whirl to face him, your eyes blazing. “No. I was never just your friend, Azriel. I was your mate.”

The truth spills out before you can stop it, sharp and cutting. He freezes, his expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

“What?” His voice is barely a whisper.

You laugh again, a broken sound. “The Cauldron tied us together centuries ago, but you never felt it, did you? You never even noticed.”

His shadows pull back, retreating like they’ve been burned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it didn’t matter!” you snap, your voice rising. “You didn’t want me that way, Azriel. You never did. And I wasn’t about to force something on you that you didn’t feel.”

He stares at you, his usually stoic face cracking with something raw and uncertain. “I—”

But you shake your head, cutting him off. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve moved on.”

“You’ve moved on?” he echoes, his gaze flicking toward the direction Lucien went. His voice lowers, dangerous. “With him?”

“Yes,” you say firmly, though the word feels heavy. “Because he sees me, Azriel. He knows what it’s like to be unwanted. To feel second-best.”

The words are a dagger between you, and you can see the way they strike him, the way his shadows twist and writhe.

“Is that what you think?” he asks quietly, his voice breaking. “That you were second-best?”

Your throat tightens, but you refuse to back down. “I don’t think it. I know it.”

For a moment, neither of you speak. The bond hums faintly in your chest, but it’s different now—fading, unraveling as you finally let go of the male who could never love you the way you deserved.

“I’m happy here,” you say softly, your voice steady. “And you… you have Gwyn. You have your life in Velaris. Let that be enough.”

Azriel doesn’t argue. He just stands there, his shadows a chaotic storm around him, as you turn and walk away.

This time, you don’t look back.

Aaannd scene XOXO ~

#oneshots #scenarios #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel angst #azriel fanfic #lucien vanserra #lucien x reader #azriel x you #request #reqs open #angstmas #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster

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florihaei · 5 months ago

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၇୧ ENHYPEN AS YOUR BOYFRIEND ˖ ་.

CONTENT — wc • 1.4k fem!reader. lowercased intended. established relationship, boyfriend enhypen 𐔌͡ㅤׅㅤㅤ✿ written with love by autum!

秋のメモ… ︵︵ ིྀ first enhypen story on this blog!!, likes and reblogs are always appreciated!, hope you enjoy!!

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、HEESEUNG

˖ ་. AFFECTION : heeseung would be a playful blend of playful and romantic, he’d would often tease you with his little remarks, laughing when you get flustered, but he’d also know when to shift into his serious, caring side. when you’re upset, he’d hold you close and he would always try to make you feel better “im here for you baby, always. don’t forget that”

˖ ་. ACTS OF LOVE : he’s the type to know the smallest details about you, your favorite snacks, the way you like your coffee, or the littlest things that make you happy. everyday you always find a handwritten note tucked in your bag that always reads “good luck today!, you’re amazing baby, I love you!”

˖ ་. MUSIC BONDING : late at night, he’d pull out his guitar and start playing softly. “wanna hear something ive been working on pretty?” he’d ask, singing lyrics that seemed to be written just for you. those private concerts would make you feel like the most special person in the world.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、JAY

˖ ་. PROTECTIVE : jay would always make sure you’re safe, whenever it’s walking you home or ensuring you’re eating well. “text me when you get there okay princess?, i just want to make sure you’re alright” he’d say, his voice filled with genuine concern

˖ ་. FOOD ENTHUSIAST : jay would thrive in the kitchen, cooking you your favorite meals and teaching you some of his family’s recipes. “no, no like this princess” he’d say, guiding your hands as you tried to cut the vegetables. even when the dish doesn’t turn out as perfectly as you wanted he’d laugh and say, “baby.. it’s the effort that counts yeah?”

˖ ་. THOUGHTFUL : you always find small or even big thoughts gifts waiting for you, like roses on your doorstep, taking you out to dinner, or even having a playlist full of songs that reminded him of you. he would also have a beautiful journal with a heartfelt note inside. “i saw this princess and i thought of you” he explained, smiling warmly.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、JAKE

˖ ་. GOLDEN RETRIEVER ENERGY : jake would bring you so much positivity and support into your life. “pretty, you know you’re incredible, right?” he’d say, his eyes sparkling with pride, whenever you accomplish something, or every time you talked. jake was so in love with you, and would do anything for you.

˖ ་. CLINGY : jake always wanted to be near you at all times and was always ready for whenever you two cuddled after a long day. “c’mere pretty girl, you look like you need a hug” he’d say, pulling you into his arms and holding you tightly. whenever it’s holding hands while walking or resting his head on your shoulder, he would constantly seek that physical connection

˖ ་. BEING TOGETHER : jake wants to be with you all the time, which makes him plan adventures or little dates just to be with you, like midnight drives to watch the stars or little picnic at the park when it’s nice outside. “you know pretty, life is much more fun when we’re just together?” he’d say , snapping a photo of you to capture the memory’s

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、SUNGHOON

˖ ་. COOL BUT SOFT : at first, sunghoon might seem reserved and quiet but that’s really not him, as he opens up, you’d see his sweet and thoughtful side of him. “i-i .. wasn’t staring m i was just.. you look nice today baby..” he’d say as he looked away, as he got caught staring at you.

˖ ་. SUBTLE AFFECTION : sunghoon would sometimes quietly show his love in actions rather than words. lending his jacket without being asked knowing that your cold, or fixing something you mentioned in passing would be his way saying “i care about you” sunghoon is always listening, even if you don’t realize.

˖ ་. ICE SKATING DATES : a trip to the ice skating rink will always be a regular date for you two. he’d patiently teach you blow to skate , even if your paranoid ever 2 minutes about falling, or him not holding you tightly. “baby.., don’t worry i got you okay, im not going to let go” he’d say, smiling as you nervously wobbled on the ice.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、SUNOO

˖ ་. SUNSHINE IN HUMAN FORM : sunoo would always know how to cheer you up and make you feel better. “don’t be sad.., your to beautiful for that, let me make you feel better beautiful.” flashing his pretty smile at you and pulling you into a big hug, just trying to make you feel better.

˖ ་. AESTHETIC: he’d take you out to the most beautiful cafes and parks that he would find, always ensuring every date or outing you two go on it felt magical and you had the most wonderful time. “this place is so pretty.., just like you beautiful” he’d say, as you smack his arm playfully calling him cheesy for his words.

˖ ་. GREAT LISTENER: sunoo would be the person that you could always go and talk to, you go to him when you need advice, your sad, you need someone to talk to, or when you just want to be near him. “go on beautiful, im listening.” he’d say holding your hand and offering advice that made you feel comfortable and understood

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、JUNGWON

˖ ་. NATURAL LEADER : jungwon would naturally take care of you, always making sure you’re healthy and safe, you always come first before anything and everything. “have you eaten something today baby? no?, let me order something for you” he’d say, his concern evident in his tone.

˖ ་. PLAYFUL : jungwon would always love to tease you in a lighthearted way, always aiming to make you laugh, and of course you always did. “oh?, you think your funnier then me baby?, that’s cute.. i guess we’re going to have to see who’s more funny yeah?” he’d say with a cheeky grin.

˖ ་. DATES : he’d always enjoy spending quiet nights with you. it could be such as building blankets forts together or cooking meals together, whatever it was it would build your bond closer. “did i ever tell you, these are my favorite dates” he admitted, holding your hand as you two continue to watch the movie together.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、NIKI

˖ ་. PLAYFUL AND FUN : you always had fun around niki, he would always bring out his endless energy and laughter to your relationship. “you’re so bad at this game, it’s almost impressive baby” he tease, but you and him both know he’d always let you win in the end, just to see you smile.

˖ ་. GAMING BUDDY : playing video games together would always be a regular occurrence. “you wanna team up or battle baby?, either way you’re going down” he’d joke with you, loving ever moment of your competitive side.

˖ ་. SOFT SIDE : despite his playful side and always teasing you, he would also have a tender side that he would let out when he’s see something is wrong. “hey baby.., are you okay?, you know you can talk to me about anything” he’d say softly, his usual energy shifting into genuine care whenever you needed it.

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newtkelly · 4 months ago

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do you have any fave long bucktommy oneshots?

thank you for asking, i absolutely do! here are my long bucktommy oneshot fic recs. these fics are 10k-30k words (admittedly there are a few exceptions, but those feel longer than they actually are), and they are posted in one chapter. listed in order of published date. enjoy!

i sing of bitter earth by @middyblue [ao3 profile]

Published: 05-07-2024 | Words: 12,037 | Rated T

In his head, on the job, he can walk away from it. The underworld that lies in wait inside him stays behind and it’s just him and the rope, the hose, the halligan; give him a puzzle to solve and a caller to rescue and it’s like everything is air, rosy and clear and fragrant as an open field.

The Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve floods. Taylor falls; Tommy falls; Buck falls.

this was one of the first 9-1-1 fics to make a serious impression on me. i was, and still am, so taken by the imagery, the action, and the thematic storytelling. it bravely leans into being an emergency-based fic, and it genuinely made me want to tell a story like that, too. the prose and the characterization and the taylor/tommy dynamic are all so brilliant. definitely one of my most formative, influential, and cherished 9-1-1 fics.

an outlier that should not be counted by @dadvans [ao3 profile]

Published: 05-11-2024 | Words: 7,429 | Rated E

Buck knows a lot of random trivia. Tommy falls in love with him one fact at a time.

okay, i know this the shortest thing on this list, but listen. where would we all be without this fic? there is a reason it's sitting pretty at 22k hits. could honestly be the origin of many of the fandom's core bt dynamic headcanons. a delightful, witty read that captures the early excitement of bt like lightning in a bottle.

awful quiet here since love fell asleep by @cecilyv & @liminalmemories21 [ao3 profiles x & x]

Published: 05-14-2024 | Words: 15,632 | Rated M

The Buck/Tommy break up/make up fic that literally no one was asking for but me. Things don’t always work out, the first time around.

"We'll be friends?" Because this is the right move, the smart move.

There's an expression he can't read that crosses Tommy's face, but then he nods, and sticks out his hand for Buck to shake. "Of course."

Buck hates it. But he made the bed, it's his to lie in. They shake on it.

the original break up fic. this is an amazing buck character study that honestly feels a bit prophetic in retrospect. i remember how i felt reading this, so heartbroken but so obsessed with the way buck navigated through understanding his own loneliness. it's absolutely joyful.

something ‘bout a boat by @swiftietartt [ao3 profile]

Published: 05-30-2024 | Words: 9,825 | Rated E

Tommy introduces Evan to his friends.

this is my one of my most cherished fics, i honestly cannot articulate how intensely i feel about it or do its brilliance much justice. begging you to read it if you haven't. to this beautiful author, should you ever write buck and tommy again, please know i will be first in line to read it. this story is charming beyond belief. this version of tommy is not one that you read about often, and i fucking love that. in this story, tommy is aloof but well-loved, has a delightful circle of true friends, and he has a fucking boat. there is not that much buck in this story, though he is omnipresent in a way. it builds and builds up to them finally getting to be alone below deck, and it's all the more delicious because of the wait. fabulously unique, there is really nothing else like it.

a full-body workout by @persiflager [ao3 profile]

Published: 07-02-2024 | Words: 7,901 | Rated E

When Tommy turns back to Eddie he finds Eddie giving him a knowing look. “Laundry and meal prep, huh?”

another one that is so carefully written that it feels longer than it is. one of the things i love so much about this story is the trio dynamic. the evolved friendship that eddie has with buck and tommy is, at least for me, best depicted here than anywhere else i've ever seen it. and, on top of that, there is just something so appealing to me about spending an entire day wanting to fuck so bad, but your friend is over so you've gotta practice patience. the anticipation that builds is really nuanced, it's truly a perfectly told slice of life.

the suffering of evan buckley('s sex drive) by @sugarpenchant [ao3 profile]

Published: 07-16-2024 | Words: 10,513 | Rated E

Tommy has been gone fighting fires for a month as vital air support, which would be fine—except for the fact that Buck has finally gotten a taste of sex with Tommy only for it to be cruelly whisked away. Buck finally gets his chance to join the firefighting efforts on the front lines and hopefully, someday before the world ends, ideally, he’ll get to see Tommy again.

There is a chance that Buck is being a little overdramatic about the whole thing, but a month is a really long time to go without the wonder of your brand new boyfriend.

posted for day 2 prompt of five alarm fest: after a dry spell

i need you to understand exactly one thing. this is the hottest fic ever. no like, this is the hottest fic i've read in years. buck, having just gotten dicked down for the first few times loses a summer of lovin' to a wildfire. tommy's on the frontlines, and what does buck do? he joins the ranks just for the possibility to be physically closer to him (and his dick). the world-building is fantastic for its length, particularly with the inclusion of lone star characters. when they finally see each other that first time, goddamn. the way they want each other but can't do a thing is a tease like nothing else. but where there's a will, there's a way. the fuck they manage to fit in between fighting the wildfire is a high that buck is able to ride (pun intended) for a while. i'm literally so addicted to this fic. erotic perfection.

knee deep in the passenger seat by @firstaudrina [ao3 profile]

Published: 08-08-2024 | Words: 9,039 | Rated E

What Buck liked best was that first thrill — a smile returned, a flirtatious joke — and then the heated next-next-next, all the things he still had to learn there.

aka Buck begins (in bed).

this ends with bucktommy, but it's a lot more than that and that isn't the draw of this fic. this is for the evan buckley lovers. this is like going to your favorite porn star's profile and watching a snippet of every single thing they've ever starred in. it's so good, it's so hot, it's so complicated. a great and very unique read.

bop it, twist it, pull it by @al-the-remix [ao3 profile]

Published: 08-14-2024 | Words: 21,642 | Rated E

“Hey!”

He doesn’t mean to yell, but Tommy still jumps a little beneath him. “Jesus, Evan, what–”

“You have a fucking dick piercing,” Buck half proclaims, half accuses. This is what Tommy has been holding out on all this time?

Buck discovers more about Tommy (and himself) through Tommy's piercings.

there's something about this fic that fits so perfectly into my fantasy of tommy. there's this punkishness about him in my head, and maybe that is a feeling that carried over from seeing pictures of lfj as a young, bulky, pierced scoundrel, but this story fits that image. super hot, a wealth of edginess.

fever's high with the lights down low by @kirkaut [ao3 profile]

Published: 09-07-2024 | Words: 11,731 | Rated E

No one has ever done this for him before. He didn’t even know how badly he wanted someone to do this - to think of him this way, to not only shoulder some of his weight but to want to - until this moment. Most people he’s dated have tended to give him a wide berth after a long, grueling shift, and he’d always thought that was what he wanted. It had been a little lonely, sure, but there wasn’t much he typically did afterwards that wasn’t refuel and rest.

Maybe he should have known better when it comes to Evan, who had jumped feet first into this relationship and never once looked back. Evan, who has worked these kinds of shifts himself and understands Tommy in a way that none of his exes ever have before.

Evan, who pours the love out of himself like it's as easy as breathing.

i remember reading this story for the first time. i was on vacation in a hotel bed, and i just felt so luxurious and indulgent getting to read this unbelievably hot, heartfelt story in utter comfort. it's the perfect analogy for how this fic makes you feel. it's pwp at its honest best.

engine purr by @epiphainie [ao3 profile]

Published: 09-16-2024 | Words: 15,010 | Rated E

“Oh! Yes. My car, my Jeep, I mean,” Buck said, gaze falling on the hands reaching for a rag. “It just sputtered and died on me right outside of town and there was no reception… I-I didn’t know what to do so I just… walked.” He swallowed and looked up again. “I thought I could call Triple A? Or maybe 9-1-1?”

The guy looked at Buck. There was a slight furrow to his brows, a tinge of bemusement in his eyes. The lines of his face were sharp and straight everywhere, but well-worn too, making Buck realize he was older than him by at least a decade and some change, if not more.

“That’s not for 9-1-1. And Triple A costs an arm and a leg if you don’t have a membership,” he said in a languid voice. “Lucky for you, though, you walked into this town’s one-and-only repair shop.”

buck takes a road trip before his new job, the jeep breaks down in the middle of nowhere, a small-town mechanic helps him out

my friend is a genius. okay full disclosure, au is not always my thing, and never my preference. i know that is a very unpopular opinion, but i think i am just very picky about it - but when it's done well, it can't be beat. this fic is fucking amazing and the age difference is a thing to behold. i always find myself so immersed in mimi's stories, particularly the dialogue. as i was reading this fic, i would find myself deep in one of buck and tommy's conversations and be so struck by how tangible and accurately articulated the characters are. in my own writing, i drag my feet over dialogue, never really knowing if something is too long-winded, or far too short. that happens to be mimi's strength, especially here - their conversations are perfectly paced, chatty, and true. beyond that, i could probably gush just as much over how hot the tension, build-up, and well-earned sex is in this fic. my fiancé called it the hottest bt she's ever read. by the way, even as i write this little blurb, my mind is saturated with images of tommy's apartment over his shop, and that is a true testament to the visceral and descriptive writing that is achieved here. i will wrap this up by saying i truly cannot wait until the next part in this story is posted! god, i love good writing.

in a yellow wood by @cecilyv & @liminalmemories21 [ao3 profiles x & x]

Published: 11-10-2024 | Words: 9,847 | Rated E

It’s been three years since the break-up when Tommy saves a family and it upends his life.

He’s paying more attention to explaining what the various levers and controls do than he is to what’s going on in the hangar and his head whips around when he hears a familiar voice saying. “Kam, the whole point of leaving my kid with you was to not take him to work.”

this is one of two break up/make up fics that i hold very dear. there are things that ring very true about it, and things that are legitimately haunting. they're apart for years - right from the jump, that is a sobering revelation. buck has a baby. buck doesn't look like he used to - his hair is shorter, he has a slighter frame. his life, his body, his world has changed. but he wears the maturity well, and he wears fatherhood well, and tommy wants in and he fucking earns a seat at the table. he earns love, he earns a family. it's a fucking beautiful rosy picture of what a future could be. it's so special, and so healing.

closet conversations by @eyesonstars-feetonground [ao3 profile]

Published: 11-12-2024 | Words: 10,599 | Rated M

Six months is a long time to stick around if he thought you’d dump him.

After his boyfriend dumps him, Evan Buckley goes on a date, makes a new friend, has some conversations, and realizes he's queer. Tommy haunts him every step of the way.

this break up/make up is a triumph. very, very special to me. my favorite thing about this story is that it is a love letter to queer media and culture. this fic grabs one of the loosest threads of buck and tommy's canon relationship and pulls and pulls at it, taking a closer look at what it means for buck to date and fuck a guy for six months but not be able to correct some girl that he was on a date (for his six month anniversary, no less), or correct maddie that he isn't gay. it's one of so many things that deserves closer analyzation, and it's done so brilliantly here. buck and queerness go so, so well together - i am desperate for more carefully constructed analyses and stories like this one.

#bucktommy #fic rec #911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #btw im not including the want series by mellowyellow bc in total it is like 60k so i don't think it fits this list... obviously love it tho #also i may have to go back and read more fics from june bc i was writing one way trip and probably missed some good shit

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citrusipop · 4 months ago

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image captured by hand . cho hyun-ju

hyun-ju catches you glancing at her and back to that little book of yours, curiosity feeds her as she wonders what is inside.

a.n . i am so sorry if it's been awhile since i've written something, writer's block and the fact college season is back is driving me nuts. i hope you enjoy this short little(longish) story!

It was a lazy afternoon in Hyun-Ju’s shared apartment. Her head rested against the warm windowpane as she gazed at the endless blue sky, her thoughts drifting. The gentle breeze carried the sound of children’s laughter below, blending with the melody of seashell chimes swaying nearby.

Across from her, you sat with your sketchbook balanced on your knees, pencil scratching against paper. Your hand moved with quiet determination, stealing glances at your girlfriend as sunlight framed her peaceful beauty. Each glance inspired you to capture her essence, pouring it into your work.

Noticing your looks, Hyun-Ju tilted her head, a curious smile tugging at her lips. “What’re you doing, hun?” she playfully teased, her eyes studying you. Hidden behind the sketchbook, you hummed distractedly, too focused to notice her pout.

“Y/nnnnn,” she whined, leaning in close until her face was near yours.

“Loveeee,” you mimicked her tone, quickly snapping your sketchbook shut. The thought of her seeing your sketches filled you with nervousness—what if she thought it was weird?

Her eyes flicked to the sketchbook. “What’re you drawing?” she asked, her voice warm with curiosity.

“Just… something. Nothing too detailed,” you replied, heart racing as you tried to keep your secret.

Hyun-Ju’s almond-shaped eyes sparkled with interest. “Can I see? I’m sure it’s amazing,” she said warmly.

Her compliment melted your hesitation. You weren’t confident in your art, being self-taught and wary of criticism, but hearing encouragement from someone you loved made you reconsider.

“I don’t know, you might not like it,” you trailed off, your eyes avoiding hers.

“Please love, I want to see…You never show me what’s in that little book of yours.” She pleaded, giving you those irresistible puppy eyes of hers.

God, that adorable look of hers made you want to give in, but those nagging insecurities held you back, hijacking any chance of Hyun-Ju seeing your sketchbook. Your mind turned into a courtroom, arguments flying back and forth as you debated with yourself. Yet, when you glanced at her again, the genuine curiosity in her eyes was impossible to ignore. She truly cared about what you were creating.

And so, you gave in.

With a sigh, you hesitantly handed her the light orange book. As her hands brushed yours, taking the sketchbook, it felt like you’d handed over a piece of your soul. The weight of it left your hands, but the anxiety remained. You quickly averted your gaze as she opened it, your heart pounding in your chest.

You prayed she wouldn’t say anything mean, regretting your decision almost immediately. The silence was unbearable, every second stretching endlessly. Your mind spiraled, conjuring the worst scenarios. What if she hated it? What if she thought your art was ugly? Doubts clashed in your head, each one louder than the last, waging a war you couldn’t escape.

All your worries drifted away when she say, “Love, you never told me you can draw this….it’s amazing!” Hyun-ju’s eyes gleamed with stars as she flipped through more of your artworks. “How are you so talented? Your sketches are so well detailed and clean!” Her eyes gleamed with astonishment. She was utterly speechless, no words could form as she was so enthralled by the beauty of the images you drew. You. Her girlfriend, an amazing artist. In her mind such talent is worth sharing.

“How could you hide this talent of yours?”

“I just don’t see the point of showing it to others….”

Hearing your words, Hyun-Ju rolled her eyes playfully and pinched your cheek lightly. “It’s worth showing it to me,” she insisted, emphasizing the “me” with a teasing smile as she continued flipping through the pages.

Her fingers paused on a bookmarked page, and her eyes widened when she saw it—a drawing of herself. A bright smile spread across her face as she admired the intricate details. You had captured her perfectly, from the curve of her smile to the sparkle in her eyes. Most of the sketches showed her smiling, and she couldn’t help but feel warmth bloom in her chest.

Laying her head on your crossed leg, she lifted the sketchbook to show you the drawing, her expression filled with pride and affection.

You felt your heart swell and your confidence grow from her praise. Never in your life had anyone shown such genuine love for your work, and it filled you with a newfound motivation to keep drawing. Smiling softly, you ran your fingers through her hair as she pointed out more sketches, her voice laced with admiration.

Looking up at you, Hyun-Ju smirked mischievously. “You should draw Jeong-Hyeok and give it to me,” she teased, pointing at a blank page with a playful finger.

“No,” you replied firmly, shaking your head.

“But love, please? You have the power to draw anything,” she pleaded, her tone both sweet and dramatic, making you roll your eyes and chuckle at her antics.

#cho hyun ju #cho hyun-ju #cho hyunju #cho hyun ju x reader #cho hyunju x reader #cho hyun-ju x reader #hyun ju #hyun ju x reader #hyun-ju x reader #hyunju #player 120 #squid game cho hyunju #squid game hyun ju #squid game 2 #squid game x reader #squid game netflix #player 120 x reader #squid game player 120

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katsuniverse · 2 months ago

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just yapping but I hate mischaracterization for tashi duncan…

it’s genuinely such a pet peeve of mine when people write her to be this big, egotistical, mean bully of a woman. especially when interacting with another woman/ x reader bc we only really saw tashi act that way with the boys(and her racist opponent ig).

there are plenty of scenes in the movie that show tashi’s vulnerability and insecurity and her gentleness/empathy, especially when talking with women or loved ones. tashi duncan is not this evil home-wrecker between a beautiful male homoerotic friendship. it’s an old, tired and overplayed story that ppl love to use to as an excuse to hate on women/female characters.

art and patrick may have loved eachother but they’re relationship wasn’t perfect. art was too insecure and patrick was too ignorant that they would eventually have had a falling out imo.

tashi was by far a perfect person who made good decisions. she could be unkind when she wanted like any character. but she isn’t this antagonist that everyone wants to be the ‘bad guy’. ITS HER MOVIE!!

her complexity it what makes her a perfect main character and so well written!!

#katsuniverse #challengers #tashi duncan fic #overhated #oh how I will always defend an overhated woman #also feel likes it’s misogynoir #mike faist #zendaya #josh o'connor #art donaldson #patrick zweig #tashi duncan x reader #art donaldson fanfic #patrick zweig x you

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 3 months ago

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What a journey. I can’t believe it’s over. I’m definitely rewatching the whole thing soon because right now, it’s all about the feels. I just know there’s so much I missed the first time, and I need to go back and catch every little detail. But for now, I wanted to get some immediate thoughts down.

First off, @colourme-feral clowned correctly, going independent was the move, so she gets the crown. Honestly, considering gmmtv was working with one of their own groups at the centre of this, I did not see that coming. But I love it. Wouldn’t change a thing. I think it makes total sense within the show. As for Pemika’s redemption...not my favourite, but it didn’t bother me as much as some other cases. Even if we hate her, she’s a character that feels real, and let’s be honest, people like her aren’t disappearing anytime soon.

About the dating thing. I’m actually glad they didn’t address it. Let’s be real, there was no way to properly resolve that within the given time frame. Instead, we can just assume they’ll date whoever they want and handle any fallout together when it happens. Which, honestly, feels pretty realistic. Idols date, sometimes we find out, sometimes we don’t. Most of the time, they just keep it private. Trying to solve it outright wouldn’t have felt natural, so I’m glad they left it as is.

What I’m happiest about is how grounded the show stayed overall. Sure, ignoring the fact that they were basically dating in the open for ages without getting caught (and when they did, it was just one photographer), most of it felt really realistic enough in how it portrayed the industry, the fans, and the idols themselves. At least from what I, as a fan, have access to, it all read as pretty authentic. Obviously, it’s still a love story at its core, and it had its limitations, but it really felt like they put in the effort to explore these things with a level of realism attached.

Now, onto the two most darling mains. They’re just so good together. One of their biggest strengths is how much they can convey through body language and eye contact alone. So even in those slower moments, like when they’re just walking together, for instance, there’s always something happening beneath the surface. Half the time, they’re completely silent, and I’m the one screaming. Their chemistry is incredible, and they’ve got permanent heart eyes for each other.

I love that we got a little bit of domesticity too. And Po going back to the suit shop? Loved that. (Also how cute was it that the shop made the suits for their performance?) He didn't go there as a fallback or out of pure necessity, but just because it’s a place he genuinely enjoys being at, even if it’s not 'the dream'. It tied in well with that conversation he had with his boss earlier in the show. Maybe he'll get another opportunity in the future but for now, he's happy where he is. Also, "Because of you, I like my ordinary days". They are killing me. This show really brought out my gooey, deeply buried core with these two.

Considering they are a new pair, I'm really surprised at how good they are together. I think they play off each other really well and they complement each other, and their scenes feel effortless and compelling. Of course, it doesn't hurt that they are beautiful.

As much as I hated Fern in that episode, I did think it was good that she got the chance to grow. We all get a bit mad sometimes, granted perhaps not that mad, but still, it’s nice to see a character actually have the space to rethink, change, and do better instead of just being pushed aside or permanently written off for it. And Po bringing Thame without warning was priceless. Don't really know why I had to see Earn's face again, but it was quick so I've forgotten it already. He gets no redemption from me.

Overall, I think the show did a great job balancing both sides of the story. Giving us plenty of swoon-worthy moments (and boy, were they swoon-worthy) while never letting us forget that, on the other side, there was a group of friends just trying to chase their dream in an industry that isn’t always kind to its idols. I think the group's journey was really satisfying to watch. The friendship moments felt genuine, which is why having a real tpop group for this show was such a smart choice. It added an extra layer of authenticity that made those moments hit so much harder.

It's unlikely we'll get these two again as pair, but even if we do, it won't be anytime soon, so I just need them to cast Est in everything. He's such a pretty crier. Well, he's a pretty everything. Also this is the first show from this director I watched in full, so I'll be curious to see what else she'll be doing in the future. I really like a lot about the script and the way it's shot, the visuals, and the pace I thought was really good all the way through. I will miss them all so much, and I wish I could watch them all grow even more, but it was a really satisfying journey, a beautiful watch and a very good ending.

#thamepo #thame po #heart that skips a beat #thai bl #rose rambles

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scorpioriesling · 20 days ago

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Can you do one where we are feeling insecure around Ridoc and his genuine reaction;)))

Pretty Isn't Pretty Enough

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Ridoc x reader

Warning(s): I wanted to answer this request in the way I felt most appropriate, and natually chose a day to complete it when I could resonate with Y/N. Although I hope no one would experience these feelings, this story is written with self-image and body negativity themes. Please remember, I love you all, and every body is perfect and beautiful in its own way. <3

Summary: When you are caught on a bad body-positivity day, your boyfriend is astonished but always willing to build you back up to where you belong.

SR’s Note: I usually stay pretty positive on here, but I want to be real with you guys. I'm kind of going through it and feeling a bit down and insecure today, and this story honestly was exactly what I needed to write (I didn't want to write at all, but I registered how this request was mirroring my mood). I don't want to be a debby-downer, I just want everyone to remember they're beautiful in their own way and we all need to remember how far we've come. <3 Don't let the hard days win -- I know I won't. Much love to you all.

Tags: @mellowmusings @rcarbo1 @lilah-asteria @kitsunetori @velarisdusk @nctsawrus @lreadsstuff @freakishfandomfiend @littleemissperfecttt @loveofmychips @bodhidurrans (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

The soft breeze tickled your nose as it swept through the air. The sun was high in the sky, casting a warm glow across the courtyard. You walked beside your boyfriend, hand-in-hand as you made your way to the dining hall for lunch. The wind picked up a bit, and you felt the soft chill against your abdomen, bringing goosebumps to the surface of your skin.

You lightly dropped Ridoc's hand, subtly tugging the hem of your shift lower. He didn't even bat an eye, continuing on about how he handed Traeger's ass to him last night in sparring. He didn't even flinch when you took your hand back in his.

"...and then, he totally fell right on his ass when I socked him in the ribs-"

Ribs. The cool breeze struck again, weaving beneath the fabric of your top. You huffed internally, once again dropping Ridoc's hand in favor of readjusting your shirt. When it was tugged to your liking, you threaded your fingers through his once more.

"...and then, that was that! Emmetario called it!"

You dropped his hand more forecful than you meant to this time, sighing aloud in frustration as you yanked your shirt as far down over your abdomen that it could go. Ridoc paused his story, side-eyeing you as his steps faltered.

"Is... everything okay?"

You looked up at him with as much feigned innocence that you could muster, shrugging in ignorance.

"Yeah! Yeah, Ridoc, everything is fine."

His brow furrowed as his steps stalled to a stop, and he turned to face you fully.

"Are you sure? Your shirt seems to be giving you trouble."

You tugged and pulled at the short sleeves of the garment, again shrugging and looking around as you tried to come up with something.

"No! It's just... chilly out here, I guess." You mumbled. Ridoc's face lit up.

"Aah, I see! Well, that's no problem," he grunted as he shrugged off his flight jacket. Your heart swelled at the welcome cover-up as he reached around you, draping it over your shoulders. "I was a bit hot anyway."

He made sure the leather coat was blanketed around you, holding onto the front lapels a moment longer as he smiled down at you. He pulled you in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

He was smiling when you pulled back, gazing down into the eyes he loved so much. You offered a small smile back, and he reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

"Now, let's go eat some lunch, yeah? I'm starvin'."

✧･ﾟ: *

You panted as you frantically tore through your closet, eager to find something to wear. Everything you'd tried on so far had either been too exposing, too tight, or just downright too uncomfortable. You'd found a few tops that would work, however the bottoms were a different story.

Earlier at lunch, Rhiannon had the great idea of the squad going out for a little fun tonight, seeing as it was the first Friday of the warmer season. Everyone was excited, and everyone was eager to go -- you had even entertained the idea. That was, until you got back to your dorm and began searching for something to wear.

"Ugh, fuck!" You growled in frustration, stepping before the mirror once more only to find disappointment. Again, the jean shorts you had thought might work did not fit right, and you yanked them off in anger. Once you unlooped your leg, you threw them at the wall above your bed in frustration. Tears stung the backs of your eyes as you turned back to your closet, only then realizing it was the last pair in there.

Bracing both hands on the closet door, you hung your head, allowing the tears to fall. Soft sniffles came as more and more tears flowed, running down your cheeks and dripping onto the carpet below. You clenched your right hand into a fist, banging it on the closet door once as defeat continued to well within you.

When you looked up again, your teary-eyed gaze fell on the blue and white minidress amid the mass of black and gray filling the space. You hadn't worn it in years, likely the last time being when your older brother graduated. It had looked good back then, and you kept the piece as you had enjoyed the way it fell on you -- perhaps it would still do the trick tonight.

You sighed, reaching for the hanger and tugging it free. Your favorite part was the loose fabric, and how it would hang on your body in all the right ways. You shimmied it up your body, picking and prodding it to fit correctly before sulking toward the mirror again.

Instantly, your face heated. Your hand pressed to your mouth as you took in the sight before you, unable to tear your gaze from the looking glass. Negative, intrusive thoughts filled your mind as you stared, gawking at how the fabric stretched and moved along your body in a way it hadn't before.

You shook your head slowly, trying to accept defeat. You simply wouldn't go, you decided, shrugging and letting out a humorless laugh at your reflection. You'd tell them you didn't feel good, and you weren't going.

You sat on your bed, your eyes glazing over as you allowed all your worst thoughts to rush in. Every time someone would adjust the weight machines at the gym after you'd used them -- somehow, it felt like everyone was stronger than you. Every time sparring partners were assigned, you knew it was based on weight and body similarity -- were you a bitch for always feeling upset by the partner you were given, or were you simply unhappy with yourself? Every time your boyfriend would play around, flexing his muscles and flashing a glimpse of his V line... you still weren't sure how he'd found such an interest in you.

Tears continued to fall as you dissociated, completely centering your focus to the rushing self-depricating thoughts swirling in your mind. You hadn't heard the knock, or the turn of the handle, or your boyfriend's concerned voice as he came into the room with you. You only seemed to snap out of the daze when he came up behind you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder and nudging you lightly.

"Y/N... Y/N... Y/N, what's going on?"

You turned sharply, gazing at him over your shoulder with your red-rimmed eyes. His face immediately fell, his eyes softening as he registered the state you were in. He set down whatever was in his hands, instead rounding the bed to talk to you.

"Baby, oh gosh... what's wrong, sweetheart? What happened?"

He knelt before you, slotting himself between your knees as he took your hands in his. You sniffled, trying and failing to surpress the following rush of emotion as your boyfriend stared up at you. His expression was of care, for you and for what he didn't even realize was happening yet.

You sniffled hard, closing your eyes as the tears fell faster. He brought one of your knuckles to his lips, kissing it softly as he continued to stare up at you.

"Sweetheart, please -- its me, please talk to me?"

His words were broken, mirroring how you felt. You finally blinked your eyes open, your heart hurting as you peered into his brown ones. He held your stare with patience and security, like no matter what you told him, he'd figure out a way to make it right.

You swallowed hard, dropping one of his hands in favor of reaching up to wipe one of your stray tears away. He gave you time, remaining patient so you could collect yourself before speaking.

"I... it's not a good day, today. For me." You began, your voice hoarse. He listened, nodding softly.

"I... I'm not, feeling. My best," you tried to elaborate, and he immediately opened his mouth.

"Are you feeling sick? Did you get hurt, Y/N? Because I swear to the Gods, if someone laid a hand on you, I'll-"

"No, no," you shook your head, interrupting his senseless anger. "It's not that. It's nothing like that."

He took a breath, settling between your knees again.

"Phew, okay, that's good -- but that still doesn't explain what's going on." He leveled you with a look. You looked to the side, not wanting to meet his eye.

"I just... I'm feeling a bit, down, today. Insecure, I suppose." You looked down. Your gaze jumped to him when he reached up, taking your jaw in his gentle hand.

"Insecure? For what reason, honey?"

Your bottom lip trembled as he tilted your face to look at him again.

"It's... my body."

The words came out as a whisper, and though you wanted to bury your face in your hands, you couldn't. Ridoc's brows furrowed, and he dropped his hand.

"I don't understand."

You loosed a breath, shaking your hands and wringing the stress off of them. You met his gaze again and answered his question.

"My body, it's... it's not what I wish it was. It's not... beautiful."

Your throat felt as though it was going to close, admitting those words aloud. You squeezed your eyes shut, working to fight back another emotional tidal wave when you heard the most unexpected thing you ever could have imagined.

Ridoc, your boyfriend -- was, laughing.

Your eyes flew open, immediately looking to him before you. His white teeth shone as he laughed, and laughed, and laughed. The red at the corners of your vision began clouding your judgement, until it was all you seemed to see.

"Are you fucking serious right now, Ridoc? You come in here, see that I'm so fucking upset, and you think you have the right to-"

"No! No, baby, no," he says, his breaths uneven as he words to come down from his giggle fit. "I'd never laugh at you, especially when you're so distraught over something... but, are you serious?" He asked, looking up to you again.

You glared at him.

"Yeah, Ridoc, pretty fuckin; serious. What, you want me to say it again?" Rage coated every word, and he rose to his knees to be more at your height.

"No! I just... I simply can't believe it," he said, shaking his head slowly. "Never, in a million years would I think your body was anything less than perfect -- it just sent me for a loop, what you said, because it seems so unbelieveable to think you'd be so hard on yourself over how you look." He reasoned.

You scoffed. "Yeah, well, unfortunately we don't all get to have huge muscles and toned abs like you, Ridoc."

He sighed, taking your hands in his again. He was quiet before he spoke, thinking his response over.

"Y/N, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he said softly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "You're strong," another kiss. "You're kind," a kiss again. "And you're a Hell of a rider. Feisty, sure -- but it's one of the things I love most about you."

Your eyes drooped as tears welled in them again, and this time you didn't fight them.

"You're an inspiration, Y/N, in everything you do. You're a good friend, a valuable squadmate, and a very, very beautiful woman." A smile ghosted his lips. "To me, you're perfectly shaped -- you're in all of my dreams, and in every one, you look the exact same."

Silent tears rolled down your cheeks, and he reached to wipe them with his thumb.

"I can see this weighs heavily on your heart and mind, and you're truly being way too hard on yourself." He continued, his eyes searching yours. "You have to remember all the things you've accomplished, and all you've done with this body. This is the body that's gotten you there -- every won match, every battle, every intense training session -- you have conquered them all, and your body was there through all of it."

You sniffled, and he leaned in to wrap his arms around you. "Come here," he offered, and you leaned yoru head against his shoulder as he pulled you in for a tight hug. Tears dotted the shoulder of his flight jacket as his fingers stroked lovingly through your hair.

"Every time you feel doubtful, I'll always be happy to remind you how much I love you." He assured, and you nodded. "To me, you are perfect, you have always been enough, and you deserve every wonderful thing in this life, Y/N."

You pulled back, wiping a hand over your face to clear the tears. He smiled at you, his hand cupping your cheek.

"You're my beautiful girlfriend, Y/N, and I could never ask for anything more -- I just wish that you could see yourself the way I do. Then you'd understand the way I love every inch of you, no matter what shape or size or texture."

His lips were soft when you put yours to them, and he kissed you with all the love he had to give as your racing heart found what it craved most; peace.

You stood before the mirror only once more that night, breathing evenly as Ridoc admired you over your shoulder.

"You're astonishing in this, Y/N." He said, his gaze drifting to your fingers that tugged and pulled the fabric. He slipped his jacket from his shoulders once more, draping it over your shoulders before kissing your cheek.

"I want you to feel comfortable, so if you want to wear this as another layer to your outfit; well, you're stunning either way."

Your heart swelled at his words, his actions. When you left for town that night, the jacket remained on -- but, once you began to feel colmfortable in your own skin, thinking of all the wonderful things Ridoc reminded you of earlier in the evening, you had the confidence to finally take it off.

✧･ﾟ: *

#ridoc x reader #ridoc gamlyn #ridoc fourth wing #fourth wing imagine #fourth wing #fourth wing x reader #the empyrean #iron flame imagine #iron flame #onyx storm #read more

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rotting-ink · 21 days ago

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the game that you recommended on itch.io (the bastard of camelot) was really good !! do you have any games that you would recommend ?

Oh a few! I do recommend looking on my Itch.io, I keep a collection of games I'd recommend and like on my creator page. I keep on updating it with games on Itch.io specifically.

NOW! SOME THAT STAND OUT TO ME AS THE CREME DE LA CREME!!!

Bastard of Camelot by @llamagirl28

Fucking superb. Makes me go a bit insane each time I replay. I love my Morded so much and replaying and having two saves, one for perfect times and the other for angstier ones.

We Wretched Creatures by @darkfictionjude

Ngl, I got to start playing while during a dark period I was going through and it was so so cathartic. It makes you feel like a wet blob on the floor, looking up at the world with big wet eyes and then you bit the hand that tries to help. It's amazing. I'm the worst, I'm the best, I'm TRYING to finger Imre. Emotionally. Ahem.

Wayfarer by @idrellegames

The coding alone is fucking insane. INSANE. I will never get over it on any level. It stresses me out but also the story is SO good. I can't even start to cover it.

A Tale of Crowns by @ataleofcrowns

I am TRYING to kiss Dara so hard. Honestly, it was so refreshing. I and so many others are guilty of fantasy based in Europe or America, and even if they do take place in the Middle East, they VEER right into some Orientalism bullshit like we're playing the Phantom of the Opera fanfic book. This, however? Fucking ART. It also reminded me a bit of my childhood in South Africa in a very good way. ALSO YOU TRY THAT WHITE Y/N BULLSHIT OR BEING THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS SILVER LOCKS AND BLUE EYES AND AND AND well its not working. Xelef/Xelara call me a brown eyed beauty <3 Idk, it is just done so well and written beautifully and fully SUCKS YOU IN WITHIN MOMENTS!

God Cursed by @wings-of-ink

They just have a demo out but I have a soft spot for it! The dads especially. If you can't tell I love games were God or some other such mean thing pointed at you and said "Fuck that thing". Hence BOC and WWC and God Cursed and-

Debt of Deception by @debtofdeception-if

Though it's not on Itch, I do wanna give a shout out. I get to play being the milf/dilf of my dreams and then? And then I try to kiss V Delgado. I'm aiming for a divorce babey. Because I'm terrible. BUT ANYWAY! It's really unique- I've never played a game where you play as a parent, already married and now your life is upside down! Refreshing and fun <3

THEN SOME QUICK VISUAL NOVELS I DO ENJOY:

Andromeda Six by Wanderlust Games: Really good plot, REALLY fun cast, get to kiss my body guard, amazing. I don't like a lot of Sci-Fi but I LOVE this.

Scarlet Hollow by blacktabbygames: GENUINELY gave me the spooks. You know how hard that is? Also amazing plot, fun cast, AND THE POWERS YOU GET TO PICK AT THE BEGINNING? WOWA!!! i LOVE chatting to the animals and being hot, its just like real life <3

BUT YEAH, Please, check out the What Ink Likes collection on my itchio page, it is updated whenever I find a really good game that I really enjoy and WAY more than I could talk about on here!

#what ink likes #recommendations #if recommendations #rottedinkspills #ask

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hamliet · 10 months ago

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Love is Life, and Also Unpredictable

The Decameron is a brilliant, beautiful show that deserves way more praise than the lukewarm reviews. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a love story so beautiful and characters who subverted expectations in the most satisfying ways.

Every time you think a character is an unforgivable lout, you'll be surprised at how human they'll be. The character you think is a buffoon and whom you wish would die because they're THAT level of annoying ends up making you bawl with their words a single episode later, and it still feels in character.

I dunno, the show has pretty mixed reviews, but if you like dark humor and a study on humanity, this show is for you. Also, if you like love stories of any sort, because this show contains several of the single most unique love stories I could have ever imagined. Yes, including queer and... ace love.

*yes i have read boccaccio's work on which it's based

Spiritual, Agape Love: Neifile and Panfilo

I genuinely think the sexless marriage and partnership of a gay man and a devout, neurotic straight woman is one of the most beautiful love stories I've seen in media, ever. They genuinely want each other to be happy, and they aren't content just being each other's "beard" or financial security. They want to know each other more. They want honesty. They want to be together and to have intimacy, just not romantic or sexual.

The scene where they reconcile in front of Ruggiero is stunningly wholesome and--dare I say it--pure.

The scene where Neifile falls in the well and waits for God to save her is clearly a riff on the classic parable of the guy who is drowning and turns down two boats and a helicopter rescue saying "no thanks, God will save me," only to die and get to heaven and cry, "God, why didn't you save me?" Then God replies, "you dumbass, I sent you two boats and a helicopter!"

Neifile is rescued because her husband Panfilo pays someone to rescue her and to tell her God sent a vision telling them where to find Neifile. When she finds out Panfilo orchestrated it, she's furious about him deceiving her. But the reality, we later realize, is that he didn't exactly. Neifile wanted proof God still cared about her. He sent her a husband who loved her so much he would do anything to save her.

Neifile's faith isn't perfectly written, but it's not mocked. In the end, Neifile and Panfilo live like Christ--which is to say, they save their friends even though they die. Neifile dies afraid, but life comes with no guarantees. It's unpredictable, just like love. And after her death, Panfilo seems to lose the will to live--but when he decides to sacrifice his life to die alongside Neifile, it's not so much out of a desire to die as it is out of a desire to have his friends survive. And it's not a coincidence that the foe they face off with is a self-proclaimed prophet who's really a cruel, hypocritical cult leader. Neifile's dead, plague-ridden body is more holy than the cult leader's sword.

Romantic/Eros Love: Misia and Filomena, Tindaro and Stratilia, (and everyone)

Everyone has romantic love and/or a sexual relationship in the story. Everyone has a "pairing," but it is seldom their most important bond.

Dioneo and Licisca

Filomena and Misia

Pampinea and Sirisco

Tindaro and Stratilia

Neifile and Panfilo/Ruggiero

Panfilo and Neifile/Andreoli

The two that are the most important here are Misia and Filomena, and Tindaro and Stratilia. Yet they are both quite unique portrayals as well, because while Misia and Filomena's love is requited, Tindaro's loev for Stratilia is completely unrequited. Yet, its power still shines through.

Tindaro's love for Stratilia is utterly unrequited and stays that way. However, his love for her is nonetheless real and he proves it over and over, and it isn't dependent on her returning it. His determination to love her, no matter what she does or doesn't give him, is honestly a beautiful exploration of unrequited love. Usually in fiction unrequited love is either someone wasting their time or a tragedy.

Rarely does unrequited love have power to redeem and save, but here it does. It motivates Tindaro to change himself for the better and to become the best version of himself, and it saves Stratilia's life and the life of her son.

Yet, the story avoids any kind of iffy subtext about sex corrupting love. Misia and Filomena get a happily ever after (the only pairing in the series that does), but Tindaro's love for Stratilia, which literally starts as hate sex and stays that way for her, redeems Tindaro. So the show avoids saying that sex is all that love is, and avoids the implication that sex ruins love as well.

Familial Love: Licisca and Filomena, Stratilia and Jacopo

The series addresses sibling love in a variety of ways. Filomena and Licisca are clearly sisters long before we get the official reveal that Licisca is actually Filomena's half-sister in blood. And even when we see them fighting and pushing each other off a bridge (literally), they love each other. They can't bear to see each other die, even as they peck at each other and insult each other constantly.

Filomena: Licisca, you saved me again! Licisca: Yeah, you dumb bitch. Love's got long claws.

Truly, a sister exchange right there.

What gets in the way of their familial relationship is class. The series juxtaposes class issues against familial ones quite a bit. Leonardo, for example, we never meet, but the way he treats Stratilia and Jacopo (his son) is pretty terrible.

And yet, Jacopo has a good life. Stratilia loves him, even though he is the reason she can never leave the villa, marry, or have any sort of life of her own. She knows Leonardo never plans to have Jacopo as an heir or treat him as a son in any way, but she loves him and sticks around for him, and doesn't resent him for it. And he in turn adores his mother and wants to protect her. Love is a burden, as Panfilo says directly, but so is life. Love anchors.

What gets in the way of love for this mother and son, temporarily, is again class. Not for herself, but for her son, Stratilia eventually decides to take the villa since Leonardo is dead and Jacopo is the rightful heir. But clinging to class and material possessions in this series never ends well.

When Stratilia realizes her desire to seize the villa in the name of justice for her son will likely get them all killed, she cries and blames herself for their coming deaths.

As Tindaro says:

Stratilia: I failed my son Tindaro: No. You have given him everything. And love most of all. He is blessed. You understand that Jacopo? You are blessed.

In other words, love doesn't have to be perfect. It can involve major screwups and pain, but that doesn't mean the life they had or the love was any less powerful.

Also of note: the whole reason the peasants turn to mercenaries and cults is because the rich lock themselves away from the poor, when in reality they are all humans. You can't counter acts of God (or, y'know, rats) but where humans do have power, in all the terrible hands life slaps them with, is the ability to love each other and help each other. While this sounds cheesy, the juxtaposition of this idea with a black comedy plague setting actually makes it shine.

The Loveless: Pampinea

At the start of the story, there are two buffoons: Tindaro and Pampinea.

Tindaro is misogynistic and pathetic, and Pampinea is equally insufferable but more sympathetic because her insufferable tendencies are clearly driven by her status as an unmarried woman in a patriarchal, misogynistic society.

Yet Pampinea has all of these kinds of love, and can't accept any of them. Sirisco loves her and thinks she is beautiful. She not only pushes him away, but is cruel in doing so. She has the respect of Neifile and Licisca. She has unrequited loyalty and love from Misia, and uses it to manipulate Misia into killing Ruggiero for her (and the irony is that Misia, who is traumatized from killing Ruggiero, then kills Pampinea).

Pampinea is a well-written villain, imo. You love to hate her, but you also see her humanity. The way she treats Misia, though, is increasingly horrifying, and their relationship foils Tindaro and Dioneo's, Filomena and Licisca's, and Leonardo's and Stratilia's/Sirisco's.

In fact, Filomena even directly acknowledges that she's no better than Pampinea for how she's treated Licisca. Tindaro doesn't get the chance to have that realization about Dioneo while Dioneo is alive, but he does give him a decent burial when he definitely didn't have to. And, there's an aspect of tragedy there too--Dioneo did care about Tindaro, but Tindaro's inability to show any kind of care for Dioneo while he lived means that he doesn't realize that Dioneo did in fact find love in the end, though he acknowledges that this was what Dioneo did primarily want in life.

In contrast, Pampinea has chance after chance after chance to choose differently, to choose a single bond, and she doesn't. She also recognizes that her servant wants love more than anything, just like Tindaro and Dioneo, but instead of using that to honor them, she uses it to degrade and manipulate Misia.

Bad Victims and Toxic Love: Misia and Pampinea

Misia is a bad victim. It takes forever for her to realize she's being abused and even longer to accept it. She does in fact murder someone for her mistress, and she keeps going back to Pampinea even when it means essentially betraying Filomena, whom she romantically loves. When she asks for help, she pushes the people she's asked away.

Eventually, the only way she sees to free herself is to kill Pampinea, because love for Pampinea is a way to cage someone rather than a way to set them free. Pampinea's already introduced the idea of killing for love, so it's not really a surprise when this comes back to bite Pampinea and she is killed.

Yet the story doesn't demonize Misia for this. It shows how damn difficult it is to free oneself from an abuser, and how genuine the love for an abuser can be. In fact, the victim can often not even realize they're being abused and taken advantage of.

Furthermore, Misia's abuse doesn't make her a better person. Most people tend to assume that victims cry and wait for rescue, but that's not realistic. Victims lash out and can sometimes have a massive cognitive dissonance, as demonstrated in the show when Misia begs Sirisco for help and then blames him for Ruggiero's death when he calls her out on Pampinea's abuse of her.

Even Misia killing Pampinea isn't portrayed as a moral positive. It's tragic, but it also doesn't have to destroy Misia's future. Filomena loves her and forgives her, and that love can tether Misia to life despite her having two murders under her belt.

Sirisco also goes down a bad path, similar to Misia. He brings misery and problems to the villa in his outage over Pampinea's treatment of him. Yet he does repent after he sees that his actions have directly led to the deaths of the peasants who treat him well, and he survives.

#hamliet reviews #the decameron #panfilo #neifile #filomena #misia #licisca #tindaro #sirisco #pampinea #stratilia #jacopo

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myokk · 14 days ago

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The fics that live rent-free in my brain🫶🫶🫶

I was talking with @elliecutte yesterday about the fics I always recommend and think about long after I’ve finished them, & I wanted to document the list somehow♥️♥️♥️ I don’t have an otp and read for a LOT of fandoms so this is all over the place bahahahahahahahah

Unsphere the Stars by cocoartist (Tomione, M). This fic is genuinely my Roman Empire. I think about it CONSTANTLY♥️ It’s the most romantic, swoon-worthy thing I’ve ever read, and the Hermione and Tom are perfectly characterized. You can tell the author is SO well-read and intelligent, her writing is just the most beautiful thing ever, and I find myself just going to random chapters and reading them because I love it so much.

Birdie by @crushribbons ♥️ (Sebastian x f!mc, E). I know I’m so annoying tagging you about this BUT I GENUINELY LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH ‼️‼️ it’s manipulative/needy Sebastian at its absolute FINEST & I think about it a lot🥹 since the second I read it (when you only had part 1 out) I knew I was going to be in for a TREAT…the writing/prose is just 🤌🤌🤌 & the way you write Sebastian made me start to understand why people are actually simping for him😆🫠

One Hundred and Sixty Nine by Soupy_George (Sirmione, T). I read this SO long ago, before I had an ao3 account, and I think about it often. It’s actually much longer than I remember it being because I absolutely devoured it. Hermione travels back to 169 days before Voldemort kills James and Lily, and she has a short period of time to convince Sirius to help her out without seeming like she’s gone mad. I’m the ultimate Sirius fan but I feel like I’m quite picky with how he’s characterized, and this fic gets it right🫶🫶🫶

An Ever-Fixed Mark by AMarguerite (Elizabeth x Col.Fitzwilliam, Elizabeth x Mr Darcy, T). I don’t have much to say except this one, plus Unsphere the Stars are my favorite fics of all time. I think about it all the time, it truly is just beautiful♥️ the author DID HER HOMEWORK in regards to historical accuracy, and I go through every single emotion known to mad every time I reread it. The most beautiful depictions of falling in love and grief and healing and 🥺 I would recommend it to anyone, not just people who like p&p♥️♥️

we are the same underneath it all, aren’t we? by tookajourneytotheunknown (Jack Sparrow x Elizabeth Swann, T). I think this was the first fic I commented on, when I finally got my ao3 account🥰♥️ it is just absolutely BEAUTIFUL writing (do you see a theme here with what I love🤭), and I just think about it all the time😭🫠♥️ the best Jack Sparrow, I love love lovveeeeeeee how the author wrote him !!!!!!! PotC fics are really so hit or miss for me but this one was just amazing. All I can say is that it reads like a fairy tale in the best way possible.

When We’re Older by @writing-intheundercroft (Sebastian x f!mc, E). I simply adore this story🤭♥️ it’s SO WELL-WRITTEN !!!! I love her Sebastian, I love Theo, I’ve actually laughed out loud reading this (Jackdaw😤), I’ve teared up, I’ve wanted to shake some sense into all of the characters. She just does such a good job exploring how it feels to be young and think you know everything when you DON’T, the uncertainty of falling in love, how to navigate opening up your life to another person. I just love it♥️

All of @hazyange1s oneshots !!! & im sure fic when I start reading it🫶🫶🫶 I just adore your writing & every time I read it I’m like ?????? This writing is in our fandom???????? ITS JUST SO GOOD 😭🤌🤌♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

All of @anto-pops oneshots♥️ I’m so weird but I only read them with my morning coffee & it is a strange way to start my day but🫠🫠🫠 c’est la vie. Her Sebastian is so obsessive and manipulative and needy and aldkfksjgkjsjfjdjdjdjsjssjs literally her oneshots hit the spot every time & idk how she does it !!!!

How to Make A Villain by @morelikeravenbore (Sebastian x f!mc, M). I’m not done with this one (yet🤭) but I LOVE IT !!! Aurélie is already so dear to me, and I absolutely love love love how she writes Sebastian🫶 definitely not shying away from his red flags but…ngl I would fall for him too if I were her😔😍

The Call of the Void by @sloanesallow (Sebastian Sallow x f!mc, M). I love her version of Sebastian so much, goofy and dorky and a chronic over-thinker🥺 and Sloane is just such a sweetheart, I love her SO MUCH !!! I’m really excited to see where this story goes, and I’m obsessed with all of the pining between the two of them🤌🤌

Any oneshot by @applinsandoranges 🥹♥️♥️♥️ they’re always so sweet and spicy and aldkfjdhkcjdjfkkdlfkejdjdjdjshshs I’ve been meaning to go through your masterlist and just spam comment soon bc I love them all !!

@rambling-tam writing🥹🫶🫶🫶 I haven’t had the time yet to spam read everything (yet !!) but what I have read so far is breathtaking. Truly some of the best writing I’ve seen in this fandom🥰♥️

I reblog A LOT of the oneshots my algorithm graces me with (idk what’s up with it lately but I feel like I miss a lot🥲). But I recommend all of those as well♥️♥️♥️

#most aren’t hl but I was slow to start reading in the fandom #bc I didn’t know what was canon vs fanon when I started writing and I didn’t want to get confused #but now the ONLY fics I read are hl so I may update this list♥️#im only including the ones I’ve read all the way to updates or thst are finished but I KNOW I will be updating this as I go♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥#yes this list is all over the place but 🤷‍♀️ I read what I read😆#I could also do this with my favorite books bc I read way more of those lol #but idk bahahahahahahahahah fic is fun too #myokk recs

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fishfingerpies · 6 months ago

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Fav mclennon fics?

This is my favourite ask ever omg I have so much to say about this! There are so many fics out there that I adore. If I HAD to pick a few absolute favourites, these are the ones that come to mind that I always come back to:

The Birthday Party by @merseydreams: This is one of the first fics I really fell in love with when I started reading mclennon, it has everything and is imo the perfect post-beatles era (1980) fix-it. IT'S SO GOOD. If you like mclennon and haven't read this fic what are you even doing honestly, like, get it together, hello??

Ways to love you by @zilabee: I cannot express enough how phenomenal this fic is. I've read it so many times, it's so wonderfully written, it always makes my day to read it. The love between John and Paul is so palpable and beautiful. This fic is genuinely a masterpiece.

i can only speak my mind by @revollver: True story, I almost missed a plane flight last summer because I couldn't bring myself to turn off my phone and go to the airport until I finished reading this fic. It wasn't even my first time reading it, either, that's just how indescribably engaging and enjoyable of a read this is. The emotions feel so real and the pining is so intense and well-written that it makes me CRAZY.

Knowing that the sun is there by @orphanbeat: I don't even have words to describe my love for this fic, holy fuck. I don't think the words exist. It, like, gives me therapy reading it. Serotonin injected straight into my brain. It's so beautiful. Actually life-changing istg. Read it. Read it, if you haven't omg I just can't express enough how strongly I recommend you read this. Please.

Also! There are a ton more amazing mclennon fics and writers that I adore, pretty much every fic in my bookmarks on ao3 are some of my absolute favs that I love and would highly recommend.

#mclennon #mclennon fanfic #fic recs #fanfic

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critical-velvet · 1 month ago

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So today I’ve decided I want to spread some positivity in the critical community and recommend different shows/movies that I think are good alternatives to the helluvaverse shows;

If you were drawn to Hazbin/Helluva because of the animation and religious themes, I would recommend my personal favorite movie, The Prince Of Egypt. I’m sure all animation fans have heard of this movie but incase you haven’t, The Prince of Egypt is beautiful animated retelling of the story of Moses from the Book of Exodus created by Dreamworks (Yes, THAT Dreamworks). It has nuanced character writing, beautiful animation and a wonderful soundtrack. If you haven’t seen it already, I recommend you do so.

If you were drawn to Hazbin/Helluva because you like media with dark themes that also have a lot of genuine heart put into them, I recommend another favorite movie of mine, The Crow (the 1994 version starring Brandon Lee). It’s the story of a man rising from the dead to avenge his fiancé after her brutal murder. It’s dark and violent but at its core it’s a story about grief and moving on. It’s a beautifully tragic yet hopeful film. I would also recommend the comics the movie is based on.

If you were drawn to Helluva/Hazbin because of its dark humor and you like adult animation in general, I would recommend The Venture Bros. It’s an unapologetically edgy yet clever animated series that parodies many famous people, media and characters such as Johnny Quest, Scooby Doo, Andy Warhol and a lot, lot more. It has surprisingly interesting and deep lore as well, and has mentioned previously the writing is insanely clever and witty. Highly recommend.

If you were drawn to Hazbin/Helluva because of its character design, I would recommend any work by Jorge R. Gutierrez (Who, fun fact, cameoed in one of the helluva boss shorts) He’s created shows such as Maya and the three and El Tigre and created the movie, The Book of Life. Jorge has a very distinct art style and his character designs are vibrant and packed with detail in the best way possible, nothing feels too much or too plain. His work often has interesting takes on figures from Mexican folklore, and his show Maya and The Three has a very big focus around mesoamerican gods, specifically Aztec and Mayan. I recommend his work.

Anyway, this is what I have written down for now, I’m well aware there’s tons more media I can put on the list and when I think of them I’ll definitely add them in a reblog. But also, what do you guys think are good alternatives to Hazbin/Helluva? I’d love to hear from the community, feel free to reblog or reply with your own suggestions and recommendations!

#vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel crit #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critique #vivziepop criticism #hazbin critical

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panchatea · 1 year ago

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Aletheia & Etterath

ChaCha Story Commissions.

Gahyeon x Male Reader ft. SuA

Tags: Romance, Lover’s Sex, Dreamcatcher, Gahyeon, SuA, Fluff, Melodrama

Wordcount: 11956

LAST PART OF THE SERIES

PART 1 - Aulasy & Kairoclerosis

PART 2 - Amour & Liaison

A/N: This is the last part of this series. Yey! I hope it's okay, I haven't written anything this technical before and I haven't written smut for more than a year. please do tell me how is it. It's not perfect but yeah.

Support me on KOFI

***

“Unnie, do you love me?” There’s just something that has always been both a blessing and a curse for me. People seem to think I am just a dumb pretty face who is unaware of anything around her—even my members always treat me like I'm a child.

However, the truth is, I know…

I observe and I always watch.

I know.

I just don't talk.

“Gahyeonie, of course, I love you.” She smiled caringly as she continued to wipe that iniquitous body of hers that I’m so jealous of—slender, sexy, toned, and petite so unlike my curvy voluptuous body. Well, despite my jealousy of her body and other things, I’m glad to have her, she loves me so genuinely like her own sister.

I love her too.

But I know…

She’s jealous of me too, and makes me so happy.

“Do you love him too?” She smiled again, but this time it was almost too bittersweetly. Bora-unnie opened her mouth and she didn't speak for a moment.

“Of course, I love him.” I know you. That was your true feelings, wasn't it?

“Every member loves him. He’s cute and he takes good care of you. There's no way we wouldn't love him.” That was true. She didn't lie, but it was far from her truth.

Nonetheless, I just tucked myself in the sheets and pretended to sleep. I just didn't know what to say to her or you so I held back. It wasn't before I felt her warm body beside me. It was Bora-unnie.

She's always been good to me. She always took good care of me. What's mine could have been hers, but she didn't take it. She gave you to me.

I always knew.

I saw it.

That spark in your eyes the first time you met her. Time must have slowed for you during those five seconds.

The way you listened intently to my stories, but you always had ears for things about her. You were always curious, but you never asked.

The way you glance over her reaction whenever they teased us of being lovers before.

The way she had always greeted you first. And was always there watching over us two.

You two always had an eye for each other.

It always felt like she wanted you.

And when you asked her about love.

When you said “I love you” to her.

I knew.

“Can’t fall asleep?” I heard Bora-unnie say. I thought it was for me, but then…

“Noona, what will happen from now on?” You answered her from my left side. I only noticed your presence then, maybe from all the thinking.

“I honestly don’t know,” Bora-unnie said as I felt her warm embrace engulf me, “she didn’t say it but I think she knows, but I’m too scared to ask.”

And I’m too scared to tell you two. Why didn’t I just wish the two of you to live happily? Why must you two hurt because of me?

“I’m happy and grateful for her tonight so I decided not to be greedy from now on. Tonight might happen again or not ever again but either way, I’m fine with it,” she continued as her hug tightened.

I’m the one who should be sorry for ruining something beautiful between the two of you. I’m sorry for being selfish, but I’m sorry because I don’t regret it.

“Whether she might decide to keep this sexual thing going or decide to acknowledge my feelings for you and let me share your relationship with the three of us or just bury it, I will not complain and do something.” I already did acknowledge it Bora-unnie, but the moment you surrendered him to me, that was when you already lost.

“After all, I already gave you up to her ever since that day, and it’s a decision I don’t wanna take back and regret,” she said lastly. The pain was apparent in her tone. Her hands that hugged me were shaking. You sighed, you were quiet, you were just listening, and I wish you had expressed your thoughts more, but as usual, you were reserved.

“So that’s it?” You said with a tone of acceptance and defeat.

“That’s it,” She agreed before breaking her hug and turning her back to drift to sleep.

I opened my eyes, only to be met by your sleeping face.

The face of the man that I love.

The man who I wish loved me as much I love him, but sadly I’m not confident.

What a player. It feels conflicting. I don’t plan on giving you up, but I’m not sure what these emotions are or what should I feel. You never cheated on me with her. You never did anything to compromise this relationship. You worked so hard to show your love for me, but whenever Bora-unnie is here, it always feels like you are chained to her, and she only pulls once, then you’ll leave me. I’m always at the mercy of her pity for me. Your words earlier still linger in my ear. I trust you and your words.

“I loved you but I love Gahyeon.”

“Thank you, but please wait for me… at least until I can make a decision”

That's what I said but then again,

I knew…

I would still choose you even if you don't.

And I wish,

You would choose me too.

The next day after that night was anticlimactic. It was awkward eating breakfast that morning. Everyone was quiet while eating the hotel room service food. It was a simple breakfast of toast, honey, butter, bacon, eggs, and coffee.

“This breakfast reminds me of Europe, we would eat this every day and I kinda missed the usual Korean breakfast after a while,” Gahyeon reminisced and you followed the conversation by asking about things about their tour while SuA stayed quiet, just listening to the two of you until breakfast was over. Gahyeon was weird today. She wasn’t doing that thing while she ate.

SuA excused herself, saying that she had an appointment and left you two alone.

“I’ll go now, Kids. Take care you two.” SuA said before she left. SuA looked rather down, she wasn’t being her usual mature and mischievous self. It felt like she had a problem she couldn’t share.

“Worried?” She asked you.

It became even more awkward when you and Gahyeon were left alone inside the room. No one dared to talk about what happened last night. It felt like there was a wall between the two of you and Gahyeon had a lump inside her throat that she couldn’t get out. She tried to smile but they were bittersweet. You wanted to say something to help her but there was nothing, as you were painfully aware of the fact that you were the reason.

“About what?” You answered back but you knew it was about SuA leaving so abruptly.

“I have no things to worry about.” You added as you smiled awkwardly.

Gahyeon stayed quiet after that and sat right beside you before locking hands with yours as she leaned onto your shoulders. She was clingy, refusing to let off your hand. It was comforting and reassuring, but it might be even a call for help from her.

“Do you wanna stay like this all day?” You opted to stay with her.

“No, I should visit my mom and dad. I haven’t seen them for so long,” She said and asked you to drive to her parent’s house. They haven’t seen her for so long you agreed.

The drive wasn’t any better. It was uncomfortably quiet with only the radio music filling the air. Thankfully, it played one Dreamcatcher’s song, and Gahyeon humming along with it made the atmosphere a little lighter. It was quite a long ride, but you survived.

Something was going on, and you were being kept in the dark. You knew it was about SuA. About what happened yesterday? It was not like you weren’t affected either. But you knew it was because of you, and you couldn’t do much.

“I love you,” you whispered before kissing her gently on the lips in front of her parents’ house. It was the only thing you thought you could do. A gentle kiss and the words she wanted to hear the most.

Gahyeon reciprocated with a peck of her own on your lips. She inched close, another on your cheek. Before whispering her reply to your words.

“I love you too.” This time the side of her lips raised as she was almost too drawn by the black hole in front of her. Three words and a kiss were the reassurance she deserved. She turned around happily to their house.

The night before, Gahyeon wished for you to express yourself more. Say that you wanted her as much as she wanted you. Reject Bora flatly, but instead, what she got was only you wondering and a last defeated line.

But this time, the saying of those three words and the kiss reassured Gahyeon of something. Something that made her feel less of a pitied woman and more of a chosen love.

Months have passed since then and it was like the hatchet was buried. The topic has never been talked about. Unsaid feelings and concerns were left unsaid, but you and Gahyeon continued to work on your relationship. It was like she didn’t have to bring it up, as you knew ever since that moment in front of her parent’s house—it was a testament to your feelings—it was all that was needed.

Today, there she was sitting on her chair. With that black dress’ fitting her, she would make every model in this world thankful that Gahyeon became an idol—it hugged her body tightly, proudly highlighting her gorgeous figure. Not just that, the French tips, the designer ring you gifted her, a scrunchy just in case, pink hair, and red lips, complete a date night look.

Gahyeon was a goddess.

Gahyeon no matter what she was wearing or even if she was wearing nothing at all, she would be the most beautiful girl in this world to you and many people. Today though, she was dressed extra special, just for you, and with that, you were thankful for being the one chosen by this goddess.

Gahyeon’s attention was all poured into the menu in front of her. She giggled as she looked at each page excitedly. Why wouldn’t she be excited? The meal was treated by you, and it was your second anniversary. You just stared at her, reminiscing all of the things that you two had gone through for the past year. From a rather peculiar deal after a one-night stand, a night for three naked bodies with the same girl you had a one-night stand with, and through all of that confusion and pain you had caused the girl in front of you, here you were celebrating this festive day.

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m gonna melt,” she teased as she closed the menu and gestured for the waiter to take her orders before looking back at you. Gahyeon smiled naughtily as if she had concocted something mischievous inside her head.

She inched closer until there was only a few centimeters between you and her lips which made you instinctively close your eyes.

For a kiss, but you just heard giggling before you—

“Ahh! What was that?” you asked as you opened your eyes only to find the love of your life back at her seat with the same smirk she had earlier. You just caressed your forehead, trying to ease the pain of her attack.

“You looked too cute, I had to tease you.” Her laughs echoed into your ears—a symphony you would never get tired of. Sadly, that soon came to a halt as the waiter came to take the food order. Of course, the order was hers to decide alone, you had given her the privilege to do so on this special occasion.

She opted for a specialty dish, a whole pizza, a side of roasted potatoes, an assorted seafood dish, and pints of beer to keep the cold night warm.

“Yah, that’s too much, we can’t possibly finish all of that,” You said to her to which she replied with a pout, “Aish, you’re not planning on making me finish all of that?”

“Of course! It’s the man of the relationship's job to finish all the food his woman ordered.” Gahyeon pointed out before handing the menu to the waiter. There she goes, a typical girlfriend moves to use gender roles to get what they want.

The food didn’t take too long to arrive. And it also didn’t take any for you two to enjoy the feast in front of you.

“Here try this,” Gahyeon offered you a spoonful of the specialty dish she ordered which you gladly accepted shyly before she herself tried it. Whether she was sweet or she wanted to see how it tasted first, her mixed expression said it was both.

“How was it?” She asked and you just nodded. Gahyeon never was the kind to hide her affection. She didn't even try to hide the relationship from the media. For a while it became a headache for her management, but with time and effort, it all became fine. Now it is an open fact that Gahyeon from Dreamcatcher is dating a non-showbiz man.

“It’s delicious!” Gahyeon blissfully exclaimed after she took a bite. You smiled unknowingly while watching her—it looked like it was worth it to book this restaurant months earlier for this date. She was happy—the way she hummed as she ate was a testament to this.

“Don’t stuff yourself too much or you’ll end up complaining to me later that you gained weight,” you teased her as you too stuffed yourself with the delicious food. She glared at you—never mention gaining weight with someone who controls theirs for their job. An idol needs to always stay in shape after all—their almost impossible-like figures.

“I’m sorry.”

Time passed like that. You two passed bicker on to each other. Talking about all the mundane things. Just there, enjoying the company of each other.

The night has been perfect so far. The cold breeze was countered by the alcohol, delicious food alongside great conservation, and the reincarnation of beauty and kindness, your date Gahyeon has been nothing but lovely(also a teasing master), there was no reason to be unhappy.

“I said to stop staring at me like that.” She looked at you sourly, pretending to be annoyed at you.

“I wasn’t, I wasn’t looking at you!” you retorted at her. “I was looking at that last piece of pizza.”

You took it, bit on it, and she looked like hell rose and her soul left her body.

“But, I was gonna take that last piece,” she dejectedly said as she pouted at you.

“Yah! You, we’re breaking up! You stole my pizza.” Gahyeon pointed her fork at you, threatening you with it.

“Come on now, fox, I’m sorry. Here take the piece.” You placed the pizza on her, but she just glared at you.

“But, you already took a bite!” She moved the piece back to your plate but you refused and placed it again on her plate.

“No! This is betrayal! Did you know wars started because of pizza!” Whelp, that was clearly an overreaction. Or maybe not, you made a mental note to search later which historical event she might be referring to.

For the second time, she returned the pizza. And by then you had already noticed other guests from the tables near you looking. Not that it was embarrassing you, but being a cause of distraction to other people was bad.

“Babe, I’m really sorry,” You apologized sincerely. “Look, we can order another pizza if you still want them. We can also take them as a takeout for later.”

“The next time, I promise I’ll ask you, if you want the food before I eat it, okay?” You held out your pinky, and she raised just her eyebrow and crossed her arms as you wiggled the finger in front of her.

“Hmm, k. You better order the same one!” Gahyeon hooked her finger onto yours and stood up. It all happened too fast and before you even knew it, her lips connected to yours, not caring if it was a public display of affection or if she could be photographed by a random fan.

You two had done it more than times you could ever count, but it was still as magical—her soft supple lips landing on yours, staining it with her red lipstick.

“Be ready, I think you’ll be on Dispatch tomorrow,” Gahyeon smirked as she disconnected her finger from yours and snatched the piece of pizza on your plate before she sat again and ate it. You will definitely be on Dispatch tomorrow after that, but this time, it won’t be a controversy but it is to report about Gahyeon’s successful relationship.

As for you, you shyly sat there—red as an apple after that scene straight out of a KDrama.

You shyly gestured for the waiter.

“Can we get the check and then a pizza for takeout,” you said to the waiter as Gahyeon continued to enjoy herself, taking pictures as she ate her food. You took out your phone to capture some photos.

It was such a mundane thing, but it was so beautiful. Her just being there, eating the food you treated her comfortably without any care in the world.

The way she smiles.

The way she munches her food.

It was love when even the most boring things became the most interesting.

There was no worry in this world with you and her in it. It was proving how fruitful your efforts were in this relationship.

You love her and that is all that matters. You wouldn't trade her for anything or anyone. That was what you decided ever since that day.

Soon the waiter came with a box of pizza and the check for the food. You paid for everything and got ready to leave. The night was still young, there were so many things to do, and there was only so much you could do.

Not much time after, Gahyeon found herself walking alongside the beach, and you followed her from behind. The air was cold to feel, the song of the ocean resonated to the ear, her footsteps left prints on the sand beneath, and her dress flew and formed waves like the ocean’s.

It was a sight to behold.

There was just a certain kind of beauty as the moon just shone on her like it was a spotlight, her porcelain skin glowed as if it was reflecting the moon like the water does. The focus was all just for her and everything, even the breathtaking view just became a backdrop to her beauty. It was a picturesque sight that would forever be imprinted on one’s brain.

However, it wasn’t anything special. Rather it was just Gahyeon and your eyes. The eyes that allowed you to see her for who she was. It wasn’t because of her beauty, or her personality, it was Gahyeon as a whole.

What people don’t really understand was that attraction and love are two different things.

Seeing someone and wanting them is attraction.

Seeing someone and wishing to be with them is love.

Of course, attraction is normal among lovers, but there is a fine line between lust, infatuation, and love. To which is what is underneath all that attraction. The normality and comfort of just being in her presence. Gahyeon isn’t the goddess or the idol of everyone. The difference between your love and the love of her fans is that you don’t look up in the sky for her—seeing her in glasses of such absurdity and obscurity.

Gahyeon is there.

She’s always been there up ahead. She’s not up there on a pedestal.

She’s there with you.

And that’s what you call Love.

And that’s when you truly see. It was not the glow of her skin under the moonlight, or the way her pink hair and black dress swayed to the blow of the sea breeze, or the way that sight was like a masterpiece waiting to be captured and kept in an art museum.

It was again only Gahyeon. Gahyeon who was just walking alongside the beach. Gahyeon, who was stuffed with all of the food she ate. Gahyeon, who probably was feeling cold, because one, she wore sleeveless, two she didn’t bring any jacket even though you told her to do so earlier, and three, because it was simply cold during that night.

Gahyeon makes you worry. Gahyeon makes you feel unease. Gahyeon makes you hurt. Gahyeon makes you wanna care. Gahyeon makes you feel alive. Gahyeon makes you cry. Gahyeon makes you laugh.

Gahyeon is Gahyeon.

She took out her phone, pointed it onto the horizon, and soon you felt a vibration inside your pocket.

“The moon looks so beautiful isn't it?” Her message said alongside the picture of the horizon as if you weren't there with her. You smiled as you typed the reply.

“Come on, why are you acting like I’m not even here,” you said as you approached her and nudged her. She giggled and looked at your face for a second before she went back to staring at the horizon. You dropped the pizza that you ordered as takeout at the sand, took off your jacket, and shielded Gahyeon from having a cold later tonight.

“I knew you’d do that. That’s why I didn't bring a jacket. It is a boyfriend thing to do,” she commented and you just giggled in response.

“The moon looks so blue.” There it was up above the skies, shining alone brightly. It must have been lonely. There were no stars above and even if there were, no matter how it seemed like they were close to each other, they were truly drifting away from each other. It was scary.

She held your hand. Tightly as if she was scared you would just disappear through thin air. It was sweaty and cold, but she didn't mind.

“I prefer the red sunset.”

Yes, that red sunset back when we were just teenagers without any care in the world, chasing our dreams, and then and there I knew I only had one dream.

And it was to be with you.

It was funny because I was making fun of how frail you were, and how you wouldn’t be able to run a mile. You wouldn’t be able to reach the beach at the end of the town. Your house was on the other end of the town after all.

But you did, and the first thing you did was send me a photo of that beautiful red sunset.

t was so beautiful.

It made me happy.

You were amazing and it was beautiful.

I could imagine how you were frowning when I replied and said how pretty it was.

I mean, you sent it to me to show how amazing you were right?

It made me so happy so I took my bike and pedaled all the way to you.

You were so funny. I caught you complaining.

“Not that! I want her to know how awesome it is that I ran here!” You exclaimed.

“Oh, you didn’t want to show me the sunset?” You didn’t even notice that I was behind you.

“That’s right… not the sunset…” That was when you realized, and looked back before jumping out of shock.

“Gah, what are you doing here?” You asked me.

“Talking to you last time made me want to see the sunset.” That is what I answered, but the truth is…

I wanted to see you. I even brought you a bottle of water. You drank as we sat on the sand.

“I’m so happy,”—I expressed— “you ran all the way here to send me a picture of that beautiful sunset.”

“It’s not like that…” you denied but you were blushing. You continued mumbling, trying to come up with an excuse. You were so cute, you didn’t know what to do and you couldn’t even understand what you were feeling.

I called out your name. You were so rattled.

“It’s so red, isn’t it?”

“Red? Am I blushing?”

But I just said…

“It’s a beautiful red sunset. So pretty…”

“The sunset? It sure is. It’s red, isn’t it.”

“Well, it’s not as red as you.” I couldn’t really help but tease you. Your reactions were so cute.

But really… I was so glad.

I could watch that beautiful sunset with you.

Those were the days.

That was also the day, I realized… It wasn’t a crush.

I love you.

“Red sunset?” Your question brought back Gahyeon from her trance.

“Yes, I wanna see it again,” Gahyeon said as she continued to watch to the horizon while you watched her.

“Is this that beautiful?” You asked her.

“Yes, it was so beautiful,” Gahyeon answered. She turned to look at you and locked eyes.

“Yes, beautiful.” She giggled.

“Take me to the beach again soon,” Gahyeon asked full of expectations.

“Why?” You asked but you already made a mental note to plan another beach trip. Maybe this time back in yours and Gahyeon’s hometown. You remember visiting alone the last time you drove her to see her parents, and it was beautiful. Maybe you two could eat some crabs and other seafood.

Gahyeon loves seafood a lot after all.

“I wanna see a nice red sunset again. Also, I really want to catch some crabs.” Gahyeon said and rubbed her stomach. Is she a mind reader? Or was she just thinking about using her stomach? Either way, it made you laugh a little. You expected her to say something about food.

“Then, we should go earlier than today so that we catch some crabs while we wait for the sun to set.” It’s been decided. You don’t when, but you knew it was gonna happen, maybe when Gahyeon’s schedule loosened up again.

“I wonder how many I can catch.” She said after you ruffled her pink hair. Gahyeon retaliated, trying hard for you not to ruin her hair that she had so much time to perfect just for your anniversary date. When she finally was able to stop you, she glared at you and pouted cutely.

“You won’t be able to and you’ll make me catch them instead.” You just laughed as you tried to fix her again. You know her too much. Gahyeon would say that it’s a boyfriend thing to do to catch crabs for her girlfriend and cook them—she would leverage her girlfriend card again.

“That’s rude, I can do it too.” She slapped your hand and fixed her hair herself. Of course, her slap didn’t use too much force. Gahyeon is sulky girlfriend but she doesn’t want to cause you harm.

“I didn’t say, you can’t. I’m saying you’ll be too scared to do so.” She threw punches. Again they were not hurtful, but she was throwing a real tantrum and if you don’t calm her, she will sulk for the rest of the date.

“Come, sit here.” You held her hand and pulled her to sit on the sand near where you put down the takeout food from earlier.

“Open the pizza. I’m hungry.” She ordered to which to gladly followed. As soon as the box revealed the food, her eyes widened. Gahyeon, who was almost drooling turned her mood upside down because of the luscious pizza in front of her. She couldn’t restrain herself, as she excitedly hummed before she went for a piece and ate it.

“You’ll get fat,” You commented and she nudged you while her mouth was still stuffed.

“You’ll exercise with me, don’t worry,” Gahyeon retorted and you just laughed as you too took a piece.

The box of pizza was emptied as the night went on. Conservation under the moon went by faster than normal and that’s okay. As long as it was with her, time spent was time spent well.

Soon she decided that the cold ocean breeze was not doing it for her anymore and opted you two to leave the beach. Hand-in-hand you two went back to your accommodation for the night—a hotel near the beach and the restaurant.

The hotel room was nice. It wasn’t anything special like what most fans would thought idols were always staying in. It was a small suite with a single bed, kitchen, bath, and a balcony that overlooks the ocean. It was nice and not over the top. Gahyeon loved it. As soon as she entered the room, flopped and bounced on the bed, playing as if she still had so much energy to burn.

“Come on, our anniversary night is still not over!” Gahyeon had her arms open wide, tempting you to jump on her arms. It wasn’t an offer anyone could refuse. A woman as cute and attractive as she flopped her arms open wide on top of a fortress of pillows and mattress, there was no way you would pass on that.

It was a long night that you wish wouldn’t end.

You didn’t waste any more time to accept her offer as soon you were engulfed by her arms. You were on top of her, pressing onto her as she caressed the back of your head. Gahyeon smelled nice. Gahyeon always smells nice. Her smell made you feel relaxed, and her hug was comfortable. She gently ghosted her hand back and forth of your hair as she hummed your favorite song.

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It felt like a baby being held and hummed to sleep. It felt like heaven. It felt like home. It felt like the right place. And that place was inside her nestling hug. Gahyeon cuddled you, and you nestled back. Her voice was angelic. It was a known fact, but hearing her voice almost whispering the melodies of love, was the greatest fan service only available to you.

Your phone vibrated a few times, but you ignored it as you focused only on her and her alone. Relish the moment while it lasts. Take advantage of each second before it passes. For God JiU’s sake, it was your anniversary and nothing is more important than Gahyeon and you—it was probably just some work problem needing of solution anyway, they could at least handle it for one night.

Before you even knew it, Gahyeon finished her song.

“Thank you for putting up with me.” She whispered.

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m your boyfriend.” You answered back.

“Do you lo—”

“I love you,” you cut her before she could the question to allow her to hear the words. However, she didn’t do so after all.

“I love you too,” Gahyeon whispered before she pushed you off her and got off the bed with a mischievous smile.

“You’ll suffocate and squish me if we stay this way for long,”—Gahyeon pointed at you—“Special cuddling fanservice session is finished.”

This time you were the one to pout at her.

“No fair, I wanna cuddle more,” You complained.

“Take care of that constant vibration on your phone first while I take quick shower.” Gahyeon winked, “We’ll do something special when you come back.”

In the blink of an eye, Gahyeon disappears to the bathroom after insinuating something naughty for later. You were left in a daze for a few seconds, imagining what she meant by her words. You were only able to break the trance after a vibration.

You finally opened your phone only to be shocked by what was on the screen which made your smile turned upside down.

You quickly went down to the hotel lobby, where the message on your phone led you to find her.

“I just came back from a long hiatus and you’ll greet me with that face?” She pointed out your conflicted expression.

“Noona… why are you here?” She approached for a hug, but you were quick to step back and draw a line between the two of you.

It was SuA who you didn’t hear so much after months of cutting the connection from all of you—or at least from you. You were reluctant to talk to her.

“Why are you giving me the cold shoulders?” SuA teased as she once again approached step-by-step and you backed down for each step she took.

“Noona, stop this… what are you doing.” But she didn’t listen and forcefully tried to take your hand. Of course, you had more strength than her but being forceful to someone you cared about was hard.

“I’m taking you with me,” SuA declared as she tried to pull you, but you just didn’t let her as she pleased.

“Noona, I’m not going with you. Where? Where were you even? Where are you trying to take me?!” You lashed out at her. Thankfully, no one was around to see the scene. The older one just stared at you annoyed that you didn’t listen to her.

That standoff took a few seconds before you turned your back to walk away. You were finished with her. You were not doing this. Atleast, not on your anniversary night. You were not going to get swayed by her.

“Didn’t you say that you love me?”—her words stopped your steps—“Prove it to me now, ran away with me.”

Turn back. Look at her. Hear her cries.

“I love you.” Beads of tears slowly fell down her gorgeous face.

“Please, say it.

I wanna hear it again.

Say that you love me.

Choose me.”

It was painful, watching her cry fully knowing that you were the reason.

“I love Gahyeon.” Three words. One sentence. One name that wasn’t her.

It was short but meaningful. You didn’t regret. You were straight. You didn’t apologize for either hurting her or not choosing her. You said it. And that broke SuA.

“I shouldn’t have let you go.” Those were the words that escaped SuA's mouth as she realized it was too late and where it all went wrong for her—where she lost. You helped her. She looked so frail. What did she even do all this time?

“Noona…” SuA wiped her tears and quickly composed herself.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” SuA faked a smile and you returned it to her with a caring one.

“I’ll be off your back, don’t worry,” SuA said as she tried to walk away. You stopped her. You held her hand, but just like what you did earlier.

“Where are you going?” You asked her worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I already told Minji-yah that I’ll be coming back. I ain’t going nowhere,” She explained as she walked away.

“Let’s catch up soon.”

She looked back.

She smiled bittersweetly.

“Tell me, when did you realize that you love her?” Those were her last words before she walked away and left you speechless. However, maybe it wasn’t really what she wanted to ask, but rather the words were…

“When did you realize you didn’t really love me?”

It didn’t take long before SuA was no longer in sight. And her words are still stuck in your head. When? When did you really realize it?

Take out your phone. Stare at the picture of the woman on your wallpaper, Gahyeon.

When did I realize I love you?

That’s a really funny question.

But really.

It was maybe sometime after we officially started dating.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure yet. I knew I loved Bora-unnie or so I thought I loved her. I wasn’t sure. I was confused at that time. But I did my best to make you happy.

To try to make it with you.

I said I love you. We kissed already. We even had sex already at that time. I’m cruel aren’t I? I’ll probably go to hell for being a liar.

I knew I didn't love you yet. I felt disgusted with myself. You were like a sister to me after all. And I was lying and taking advantage of your feelings for me.

But…

Love is a Lie.

I said and I knew it was a lie.

But I wished, for one day… I’ll be able to truly tell you without any lies. To be able to kiss you out of love. To be able to be one with you. To want you as much as you wanted me.

To love you more than you love me.

One day…

It happened.

It wasn’t like I expected it to be.

It was a normal day. It wasn’t anything special.

I just woke up and that was when I realized…

I love you, Gahyeon.

When I saw your face the moment I opened my eyes. You were far from your beautiful self in front of the camera. You were ugly. Your hair was like a broom. You were snoring. Your breath stinks. You were eating your hair and you had dried drool on the sides of your lips.

You were ugly, Gahyeon.

It made me laugh. Although, I wasn’t any better. I was just fortunate enough to wake up earlier than you. I had time to fix myself before I got called ugly by you.

But I didn't…

I went for the kiss on your drool-painted lips. Mine wasn’t any different.

But this time it was different.

I kissed you because I love you.

I love you.

Not anyone else.

How could I be so blind when you were here all along?

I kissed you again and it felt so right.

But I accidentally woke you up.

You were smiling. That was the brightest smile I've ever seen in my life. You giggled as the sun funneling through the window illuminated you.

“Your breath stinks,” you teased.

“Please, brush your teeth then come back and kiss me,” you added.

It was funny. Yours stinks too! I didn't mind it at all, and I bet you didn't mind mine too.

That morning was a drop of dew. And I just watched you with love. The way you walked around with your disheveled hair and just my shirt on. You didn't care at all. Why would you? It's just me, the man you love.

You were so lazy that I had to brush your teeth and tie up your hair. If only your fans could see you, I wonder how they would react?

You're a slowpoke, Gahyeon. I couldn't blame you though, with a schedule as busy as yours. I would use any free time to laze around.

“When will breakfast be ready?!” You exclaimed from the bathroom while I was in the kitchen. You always cared about food.

“In a few minutes, take your time with your routine!” You were sleepy and lazy but you were always so diligent. You never skip on anything. You always took care of yourself. Although, most of the time, I still had to take care of you.

Maybe, that's my job.

“Gah! Breakfast is ready!” When breakfast was finally ready, you sprinted to the dining table. You were suddenly but then became sheepish. You took most bites with your eyes closed.

From then I took a mental note to prepare something that would help you sleep better every night before bed.

You took each bite excitedly but still sheepishly. You hummed as you ate. You always hum when you eat. It has always been an indicator that you were eating something delicious.

“This sucks. Do you want to take cooking lessons?” That was what you right after when you literally handed your plate for a second serving.

I gladly gave it to you. Do you remember?

That morning was so bright, comfortable, and was fleeting. Before I knew it, you were going to leave for practice and I was going to work.

However, I wasn’t sad because we were parting for the day, rather, I was already expecting the bliss that I would have when I finally met in the night.

It was such a peculiar thing, but I knew right then and there when I saw your back passing through my apartment door…

I love you.

“I should go back to Gahyeon,” You muttered to yourself as you made your way back to your hotel room, but unbeknownst to you, you would find an empty room. You wondered where she was. Did she meet SuA? Or did she somewhere else?

You were worried. You tried to text her and also tried to ask the hotel staff if they saw a pink-haired girl roaming. You might have taken too long because of SuA and she went out to look for you.

That was when you received a reply from Gahyeon.

“Wait for me.” That was what her text message said.

Where were you Gahyeon?

“Unnie,” Gahyeon called who was waiting at the other end of the hallway for SuA. The older stopped and looked at the younger. Did she he—

“I saw and heard everything.” For the first Gahyeon admitted that she was there or that she was listening. She always kept to herself and was always patient whenever something like this happened, but tonight Gahyeon decided differently.

“Not gonna welcome your unnie back? I just came back from a long hiatus,” SuA commented as they faced each other. Two women, who love the same men, but while the other succeeds, the other fails.

“Well, I would be happy to welcome you with a hug and a kiss but you just tried to steal my boyfriend,” Gahyeon answered with an annoyed tone.

“I didn’t try to steal him,” SuA corrected as she approached Gahyeon step-by-step. The younger stepped backward every time the older closed in up until she couldn’t, hitting the wall behind her. SuA was so closed, uncomfortably closed for Gahyeon, but she didn’t backed down.

“He’s mine to begin with,”—No one dared to break eye contact—“He loves m—”

“He loved you, Bora,” Gahyeon cut. She said so sternly and clearly, even opting not to use any honorifics. SuA bit her lip in response to what Gahyeon said. She knew deep down it was true. She just couldn’t accept it.

“He loved you,”—Gahyeon reiterated before SuA could even retort—“What? Cat’s got your tongue? It’s true is it not?”

Gahyeon had put SuA in her place or rather, she had put her back in her place. It was harsh, but SuA was reckless. She came out of nowhere and tried to hijack their anniversary night. It was almost as if SuA went there and just hoped for the best and trusted the little hope she had. Gahyeon, on the other hand, didn’t think twice to defend her place.

“I shouldn’t have pitied y—” SuA said before biting her lip as she instantly regretted what she had said, but it was too late. Gahyeon after hearing what SuA said, had a hammer punched in her stomach. She wasn’t expecting SuA to at least not say those words. Or at least for SuA not to feel that way. Gahyeon knew her and you happened partly because SuA felt bad about her, but for it to be said in her face…

Something inside of them broke, and a bottomless pit sunk inside of their hearts.

“I don’t know you anymore.” Gahyeon pushed her, and SuA fell to the ground. She didn’t mean to push her down to the ground, just enough to put distance between the two of them. Her heart ached. Gahyeon was worried as she looked down on her as the older looked away in shame.

“Please don’t call me or him. I don’t care about our jobs. Please, I’ll find a way. Just leave.” Gahyeon walked away and SuA could only watch her as tears once again flowed out of her eyes. She knew she had not only lost you, but now she lost Gahyeon.

Gahyeon wasn’t any better, she cried and wept as she took heavy steps fully knowing she had just cut off one of the most important people in her life. They both didn’t want for things to end up like this, but emotions cascaded like a waterfall and there was no way of stopping this. There was no way it could have ended with all parties happy—it was simply impossible.

Love takes.

Love is painful.

Love comes with a price.

Gahyeon clearly remembered. She didn’t want things to end up this way. She tried. A scenario where no one was hurt, but in the end… all of you ended up hurting. It was foolish to hope. Gahyeon wiped her tears and found somewhere to sit. She closed her eyes.

“Gahyeonie, wake up.” I opened my eyes and my eyes met with daggers of light before I saw her—the face of the person I was most jealous of. SuA, who was asleep beside me. SuA who made love with me and my boyfriend.

“Swa, good morning,” I greeted, still half-asleep.

“Good morning, Baby.” She caressed my face. Her eyes… They looked so sad. She looked like she was in pain, but she smiled.

“What's wrong, Unnie? I asked worriedly. Although, once again I knew… I knew but I couldn't do anything. Or I wouldn't do anything. I would die if I were to give back what she gave me.

‘Gahyeonie, do you love him?” SuA said, almost choking on her words.

“Yes, I love him so much. I have loved him for so long.” Those were my words. Those were also the words that drove you like this.

I'm sorry for being selfish.

“Unnie, do you love him?” I asked her once again. The same question from the night before.

“I do,” She confessed, and tears started to flow down her cheeks, staining her pretty face. She confessed… it came straight from her mouth. Her true feelings.

“But I love you more.” Those words… I didn't even know how to react. It was so sincere.

I wiped her tears, but I was crying too. Everything was a mess, and honestly, I was surprised how you slept through all of it.

When you woke up, it was as if nothing happened. We had a pleasant breakfast but the atmosphere was so awkward.

But I didn't expect it. That was the last I would see SuA for a long time. She just left. If I knew I would have hugged her. But I only found out later on from JiU-unnie that she left the country and went on a sudden hiatus.

If I knew…

I should have known at that moment.

It was goodbye.

That is until now.

Gahyeon opened her eyes. She had calmed down. She stopped crying. She knew she had to return to your suite. You were waiting for her, but she knew you would notice her puffy eyes.

That she cried a lot.

“So much for an anniversary night,” Gahyeon muttered as she stood up to head to a comfort room before going back to the suite where you were waiting.

Soon, Gahyeon stood in front of the door. Nervous about how she would explain what happened or how to open up about the topic or how to even talk about it. She wasn't ready, but she knew you would ask.

“Please, don’t ask.” She grabbed the doorknob and turned it. As the door swung, she found you, and couldn’t help but smile as she found you pacing back and forth, worried about her.

“Gahyeon!” You exclaimed. You saw her and ran up to her—finally relieved that Gahyeon had come back.

Before she could even react, she was engulfed by your arms in a bear hug. Her arms enveloped back as yours tightened. Hearts were booming. You could feel it, she could feel it, every fast-paced beat booming as your hearts connected.

Gahyeon had let go. She just let it happen. She didn’t speak, she just nestled into the comfort and protection of your hug. It was her home. It was warm yet something cold on your chest countered it. It was your shirt wetted by the diamonds dripping down her beautiful face. You caressed her back, trying to lull the crying girl as Gahyeon buried her face against your chest.

“It’s okay.” Gahyeon clenched her teeth and fists, took a handful of the backside of your shirt, and bit on the fabric her mouth was able to reach. She just kept crying without uttering a word. She just released what she was holding back inside of her.

It broke your heart seeing her like this. You couldn’t do anything but caress her back and hope that it was enough to ease her pain. Several minutes passed and she wasn’t calming down. You kissed her forehead and she looked up to you.

“Do you love me?” Gahyeon asked, her eyes pleading for reassurance as they continuously stained her face with tears. You kissed her once again, but this time it wasn’t your lips and her forehead, it was her lips and yours colliding softly for a peck. She smiled brightly. You haven’t even said the words she wanted to hear, but her eyes already lit up as if she knew it was coming.

“I love you.” The words were finally uttered and it was all that was needed for Ghayeon to wrap her arms around your neck. Pull in. Let go. Hug it. Before you even knew it, your lips collided with hers once again. Close your eyes. She captured your lips and pulled you into a longing hungry kiss. Knots were tied, and two soft marshmallow muscles clashed, moving with the rhythm of her hunger.

She was a blackhole longing for love. It was scary how a woman in pain like her craved love like this. It wasn’t a sweep inside your mouth as she playfully tickled the underside of your tongue while exploring the depths only she could reach.

Gahyeon pulled out, caught her breath, and chased once again as she lured you. She started sucking on your tongue, and you gladly let her without any resistance. She pulled and sucked. She circled her tongue around yours.

Seconds passed by and the endless exchange between lips didn’t end. Seconds became minutes, and tears already stopped flowing, but the fervent kiss didn’t end there. It started with a peck and it ended up in a torrid kiss. Eyes closed and lips glued to each other. Her arms traveled around your neck while yours gently caressed her hair.

She pulled out and a string of saliva bridged the two of you. Her eyes still brimming with hunger as yours locked with her lovingly. She wanted more and you would gladly give anything for her.

“Do you love me?” Gahyeon asked once again. This time you were the one to capture her lips and Gahyeon couldn’t help but smile while her lips were still connected to yours. Glide from her back to her lower hips as Gahyeon cupped your cheeks as she continued devouring you.

In one swoop motion, you lifted her off the ground, resulting in a momentary disconnection between the two of you. That didn’t matter though as she was quick to clash lips once again while you tried to excruciatingly navigate around the suite to get into the bedroom almost blindly.

You had hit several corners. Topped down appliances and broke a few glasses before you found a counter to sit Gahyeon on. It wasn't the destination, but you soon would get there but for now.

She was laughing and smiling, you were in a crazy haze. You pulled back. Eyes locked as the playful hands grabbed onto the ends of her black dress. You didn't waste any moment as her porcelain skin revealed itself as you peeled that dress off her—from the tips of her toes, her luscious legs, toned stomach, and torso. A momentary break of eye contact as the garment blocked your sight of her.

Look up and down. Magnificence exuded as inch and every corner of her felt it was sculpted by a higher being itself. Her porcelain skin felt like clouds on your palm, and the way her body subtlety reacted… each touch shivers, each touch was electrifying.

Gahyeon wasn't one to just be the one almost on her birthday with only her matching black lingerie. She pulled you by the hand, grabbed your shirt, and didn't waste any moment to remove it. She ogled at you—it was a sight for her—it was the prize that was for hers alone.

“You’re mine,” Gahyeon said, asserting her ownership over you as she bit her lips, almost drolling while eyeing you. She didn't waste any more time as she pulled even closer for another make-out session—this time more athirst. Each feathery touch made her more hungry, intoxicated, and addicted. Kisses were her morphine—each one made her forget the pain and put her on a high.

“I’m yours.” You broke the kiss. You traveled from her lips to her left ear as you engulfed her for a hug. She wrapped her leg around your hips. The distance was small. It didn’t allow any wild movement, but that was okay, being able to see her gorgeous face up close was more than enough. This time she was smiling. You had only seen it through your peripheral vision, but her lips, her eyes, they both were happy.

“Shut up, carry me to the bed, and fuck me,” Gahyeon ordered. Giggles left your mouth as you gently carried her off the countertop table. She hugged you and nestled on your shoulders. She rested and relished once again taking advantage of the comfort of your warmth.

Soon you laid her down on the bed. While you caught your breath, you took a moment to once again look at the art in front of you. She wasn’t crying. Gahyeon was happy. She was anticipating. She was like a kid waiting for her request to be granted. You could stare at her all day, but her order, you needed it as much as she did.

You smirked at her as you unbuckled your pants and stripped down to your birthday suit. She smirked back and taunted you with her body. She didn’t have any intention to remove her lingerie. She wanted you to do it. Although fucking her with that sexy lingerie still on was still also an option, you wanted her to be as bare as you were—completely naked and vulnerable.

“Why are you so lazy?” You grabbed the hem of her black thong and tried to peel it off her. It was stubborn, and her ass held on to it. You lifted that peach ass of hers that she spent so much time in the gym to achieve for a moment just to get it off, began to slowly remove it off her lips, making its way down her smooth and slender porcelain legs, and revealed a treasure, her smooth, glistening pink lips.

You wanted a taste. You wanted to tease her. So you dove right into the treat in front of you. You started with kisses up and down her inner thighs, gaining soft moans while your lips repeatedly contacted her warm skin. You planted wet kisses on her thighs again, but this time dangerously near her wet folds.

“Just do it already.” Gahyeon was already squirming. She wanted it, and a lick down her thighs, staining her pristine thighs with long licks garnered even more moans. You giggled mischievously while she was getting more and more impatient, but before she could complain once again, the first lick came in, tracing her pink slit—one long sweet taste of her wet folds.

Teasing her might have backfired as she grabbed onto your head, and pushed you in her legs forcibly, forcing you to continue eating her. You didn’t have any choice, buried in her crotch, you accepted your fate, and her delicious pussy. Explore every corner. Reach the deepest depths. You dove in to find out how deep your tongue could reach inside her. You basked and inhaled the aroma of her pussy. You didn’t let any of her juices pass your mouth. And Gahyeon took it all in, receiving all of it, moaning and expressing how pleasurable it was all.

You let your hot breath blow against her crotch, and she whined in response. Quickly, you went in with an up-and-down motion deep inside using your tongue. She cussed, she moaned, and she quivered as you continued eating her out.

“More!” She exclaimed as if that was the cue, you put pressure on her clit. You swirled around it, gaining louder and more high-pitched moans as you ran circular patterns on it. Push and swirl. You gently pushed it with your tongue, then took it in your mouth and sucked on her clit.

Her legs squished, and her nails dug in deeper and deeper as every second passed by. She pushed you deeper in hopes that your tongue would reach deeper inside her slits. It was getting harder to breathe as minutes went by. Your head was going numb from the pain from her nails digging. Her wet pussy almost drowned you. Buried against her crotch, all you could do was go crazy, trying to taste and service her as much as you can, sucking her wet and delicious pussy as you turned Gahyeon into a squirming mess.

The only option was to tap out. You forcibly disengaged, simultaneously edging her. It wasn’t time for her to reach her climax, and it wasn’t time yet for a death by thighs head locking you. You licked your lips and caught your breath. You smirked fully knowing what you did as you tenderly caressed her thighs while she pouted.

“What are you looking at?” You teasingly snarked at her, and she glared at you before you got on top of her. You weren’t one to keep her waiting when you just edged her. And just like any other time before and now, you lined the tip of your cock up against the opening of her entrance and captured her lips for a kiss as you pushed—slowly and caringly, entering her inch by inch smoothly inside of her already soaking wet quim.

Gahyeon hugged every bit of your cock. She was perfectly wet and perfectly tight every time, and it was always cute how she was also perfectly cute, innocent, and sexy at the same time. Sex with her had always been a mix of comfort and excitement. With Gahyeon you wouldn’t call it sex, it was the ever-cliched lovemaking.

You started fucking her, slowly, sensually, and carefully. It was different from how you teased her and edged. You pressed bodies, allowing each other to relish the warmth of each other. You let her feel you gravitating against her. Gahyeon had your weight on top of her and she had always loved it. It felt like the sun, warm on the skin, but it didn't burn. Sweaty and almost smelly but it felt cold and fresh to be so close to her. Again and again, like clockwork, you slowly pull your member out from her, but as soon as your tip peeked out of her, you bury yourself deep inside her, causing a melody of her pleasure getting fill up.

“I love you,” she uttered in between her moans.

Again, pull, and push.

“I love you too.”

Now that you had built a slow and steady rhythm, you gradually upped the pace. Faster but not so sudden. The goal was to induce pleasure and not pain, pushing in but within the comfort of your lover just as she loved as both of you became moaning messes—quick huffed breaths—sounds of sex only the two of you know of. The smell of sex, sweat, and saliva lingered in the air. Moans, squelching noises, profanities, proclamations of love, and chased breaths, roared inside that hotel room, accompanied by the warmth of each other.

You started pounding her, faster and more vigorously than before. Full of vigor but full of control. A little bit rough but Gahyeon wrapped her leg around your lips nonetheless, she wouldn’t want you breaking off her while you thrust and looked at her with the desire to pleasure her. Her eyes shut close and she became louder, screaming at the pleasure of your cock.

For Gahyeon this kind of physical intimacy was a form of assurance to ease her fear. Gahyeon feels your love the most when you two are connected. Sex is the highest form of love. Sex is the greatest expression of it. The heat she was relishing, the roughness, the gentleness, the pain, and the pleasure were evidence of love.

It was a treasure how your palm caressed her cheek underneath all that mess. After all, she was a mess and you were a mess, but there was this certain kind of beauty and order amidst all of that and only you two knew of it—only your love knew of it.

There was no time for rest as you as that climax was coming. She didn’t want you to stop fucking, and you didn’t want to either. You fucked her hard and fast. It was a high that you knew too much of. A drug that was only available for you. A medicine that heals Gahyeon and you, but keeps you addicted. It was a contradiction, amidst all that high and intoxication, being lost in the trance of pleasure, you didn’t get lost and chased the pleasure for you alone. You chased her pleasure, and she chased your pleasure, aiming to please each other.

You found her breast, still clothed in her black brassiere. You squeezed and she whined in response and quickly tried to get rid of it, reaching for her straps and setting them aside before flipping them to expose her bountiful mounds. You dove right onto it, took her hardened nippled, and suck on it while massaging the other breast. It was softer than marshmallows, it was like you were kissed by a cloud.

However, you didn’t forget fucking her, you thrust as you sucked like a baby on Gahyeon’s breast. All Gahyeon could do was to receive all of it, and hug your head, hoping it would help you eat her better.

It was time to give attention to the unattended boob. You removed yourself from her boob and left red marks all over her breasts, and a lingering feeling of stretch on her nipple, saliva all over it. You did the same to the other boob, suckles, bites, kisses, peck, smack, smooch, and snog, all the things you could to do to make her release those lovely sounds and to compel her to hug you more tightly and to enable yourself to feel her warmth more, get buried on her breast more.

Although you couldn’t give her boob as much attention at the one as she pulled you up for a momentary rest. You made eye contact with you and chased your breath. Get pulled by her brown orbs. The tips of her lips raised, showcasing her iconic fox smile. Her eyes were as dazed as yours, but she still gazed at you lovingly before uttering the words, “Kiss me.”

“I love you, Lee Gahyeon.” You gladly complied and dove right into kissing her. Gahyeon cupped your cheeks. It was an amorous kiss you shared. A kiss to last a lifetime. One of too many. Certainly not the last but you kissed her as if it was the last. It was as sweet as the first though. You slowed down your pace to allow yourself to relish it more, the way your cock stirred her insides, the it twitches after hitting her deepest parts every time, the way it filled her, the way her lips connect to yours, the way you fuck her while you two shared a loving kiss, and the way she loves you.

Soon a knot in your loins introduced itself to you. What she was chasing for you eventually came and without breaking the kiss of the movement of your hips. You felt a built-up in your groins as her quim clenched, and tightened around your cock. It was time for her too. She tightened her hug, nails dug into your back as you slammed deep inside and pulled her out again and again until you could no longer hold it another.

One last time for the last run, putting in all of your remaining stamina. You fucked like you had every intention to impregnate her. Both of you groan in great pleasure as you let loose to release wave after wave of your thick semen deep inside her while quivered, shut her eyes, bit your lips, and bucked her hips as her orgasm collided with you. An instant climax, and delight, with her plugged pussy leaking out juices that were mixed with her fluids yours. Her orgasm was strong as all of that built up in her stomach released a wave of ecstasy.

The high felt like forever. The satisfaction was great. Both climaxes subsided and you felt your flaccid member slipping out of her, and her pussy finally unplugged, leaked out your cum. After a few seconds of being frozen in place, Gahyeon released your lip and you let out a sigh of relief before licking the blood off your lip. You collapsed beside her and she turned to face you and hugged you as she tried to recover from the hot session herself.

“I love you too.” Gahyeon gave you a peck, resulting in you blushing. Out of embarrassment you turned your back on her, stood up to get tissues and that thing, and hid it underneath the box of tissues. You went back to the bed and helped her wipe herself and lean off the leaking semen in between her legs. She was smiling mischievously as you wiped her as if she was planning to tease you.

“Why are you acting shy? You’re wiping as if that’s not your cum and you didn’t just eat my pussy.” Her words made you choke and she just laughed heartily. Gahyeon was back to her usual self—cheerful and teasing master.

“I’m not, I’m just thinking about how much I love you.”

You reasoned out. It was far from what she said, but it was the truth. Looking back to all that happened, you couldn’t help but just be happy and relief that you ended up this way. It might be just a hunch but it felt like things would finally get better from here on. It was a little bit chaotic but you finally settled it with SuA. You didn’t choose Gahyeon instead of SuA. You just love Gahyeon and there wasn’t even a competition. What happened with SuA and your feelings for her won’t be forgotten, but it was a lesson. A lesson you would take as you journey with Gahyeon.

Gahyeon is love.

“Why do you have to think about that when you just have to show me?” Gahyeon gazed at you. Her eyes were full of expectation. She was looking far ahead. Looking at the things you two will do from now on. You were looking forward to it too. Gahyeon is the loveliest girl and she isn’t one to hide her love. You just hope to be more like her, and be more confident of your love for her.

“Yes, I’ll do that from now on,” You answered her. You took her hand and smiled at her lovingly. Love was truly bare. Your feelings were as bare as your naked bodies as both of you wore your hearts out. And looking at her, you knew it was time.

You took her left hand and kissed it. Gahyeon just smiled, not suspicious of anything as you reached for the ring you had hidden earlier. Gahyeon just watched. Her eyes showed a hint of confusion. You just continued smiling. Although, maybe there was a hint of nervousness and awkwardness.

“Gahyeon…” You call for her before kissing your fist, still not revealing the ring you had inside it. At this point, Gahyeon already had an idea of what was happening. Tears formed in her eyes with the anticipation of it. And she was right as you revealed the ring. Her mouth kept agape, surprised, and couldn’t believe what was about to happen. Gahyeon’s puppy eyes were both in shock and filled with bliss.

It felt like your heart was about to burst out of nervousness. Will she say yes? Will she decline? Those questions played in your head on repeat as you held the ring tightly. It was an expensive ring or anything that could put a hole in your pockets, but it was something more important. The heirloom ring from your mother. An old piece of gold jewelry with a humble diamond.

“Will you marry me?” You finally asked her and beads of clear crystal started flowing down her beautiful face. You let of her hand and wipe them off.

“Stop crying will you?” You said to her but you started crying also. With the ring, you imagined dreams of seeing her in that white dress, walking down the aisle while you wait for her at the altar. You’ll spend time off for a vacation, a honeymoon on the beachside—you know how much Gahyeon loves the beach. Maybe even starting your own family.

Fingers fidget, and hearts boomed. Time slowed down at that moment in that hotel room. You panicked and weren’t sure if you would wipe her tears first or wipe yours first, but you opted for a third option. You took her left hand once again, and carefully put the ring on her finger.

“Yes, I will marry you!” Gahyeon didn’t stop crying, but she didn’t seem sad at all. The smile painted all over her face said it all, and seeing that made you feel warm inside. It was burning, but it didn’t hurt at all. Neither of you stopped crying but it was okay.

It was a beautiful moment to share. She hugged you tightly, and you reciprocated until you found yourself sharing a kiss. A lovely kiss. Then once again locked eyes, gazing at each other, ever smiling and happy.

Her smile was beautiful. Her happiness was the most beautiful thing to exist. And you’ll do anything to protect that.

Yes, just like that day.

That one cold winter night.

We were out late because of a schoolwork project. The other kids had already gone home and were the only ones to go in the same direction so we walked together. Well, I wouldn’t let a girl walk home that late at night.

We were walking and at that time, we weren’t particularly close or friends yet.

But we ended up talking.

You talked about your dreams. And I talked about mine.

It was just fun.

And maybe,

That was when I started developing something for you.

Well, I realized too late that it was love.

But maybe at that moment, I fell in love with you unknowingly.

All of you were just too beautiful.

The moon bore witness to it.

Your laughs.

Your smile.

Your eyes.

Your dream.

Your everything.

That was when Jasmines bloomed in winter.

Aletheia & Etterath

*Series End*

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A/N - idk did I do something? i think it's bad HAHAHAH

#reader insert #panchatea #kofi commission #kpop smut #readerinsert #dreamcatcher smut #dreamcatcher #gahyeon x reader #sua x reader #Youtube

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