#and it’s so ironic with the fact that i do not have much time and xiao asked for my time HELP PLS BABY IM SK SORRY I HAVE FINALS
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shorthaltsjester · 3 days ago
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obsessed with the fact that bell's hells won that fight explicitly because of their reliance on the gods. imogen and laudna both vocally saying 'thank you matron' at the beginnings of that combat as they use new skills or spells they've refreshed, orym wielding his sword, braius wielding his divine power, the entire party instilled with a hero's feast prepared by a cleric of the wildmother, imogen using power granted by the arch heart to bring down predathos -- an entity that has been described as welcoming her home, offering a womb she has longed to return to, her as its kin -- in imagery evoking the moment where the gods too decided to turn their backs on their home when faced with the monstrosity they were tied to, that they'd help bring about (something something, the arch heart gave mortals magic and imogen gave predathos its vessel). and the fact that bell's hells has slowly grown more reliant on the idea that predathos does not hunger for mortals -- something they in fact scoffed at when it came from liliana and ludinus' mouths -- predathos took several of them in his maw and tried to consume them.
viewing the story as one of a group of people predominantly blinded to the reality of their situations by the fog of their traumatized feelings -- as i've chosen to do for the sake of my sanity listening to them go on and on about gods that never gave them a lick in the same breath that they complain that the gods have too much power -- it is so extremely poetic that orym cut down ludinus with a sword blessed by the wild mother only for bell's hells to retread the path ludinus set up for himself. it is extremely ironic for a group of people who have implicitly raised complaints about the inherent manipulation that comes with the god's existence to come up with a plan that is explicit manipulation, demanding the gods become mortal or die [which to be clear, extremely interesting plan with interesting consequences that would be compelling to see! absolutely dogshit reasoning skills and moral assessment. but it is continually ASTOUNDING to me that a campaign that gets treated by some as the height of critical role's sociopolitical philosophical exploration features so many PCs who struggle (and not in the fruitful, developmental way but in the head-in-hands, can this student talk to the prof during office hours so I don't have to feel the second hand embarrassment of them making it obvious they haven't ever attended a previous lecture or done the class readings way) with ideas found in any first year philosophy course].
and to be clear this is not me devaluing the role of bell's hells in actually fighting the fight -- but all they've done is the same thing the gods were already doing, keeping predathos sealed, except now its in a volatile-at-best mortal who is on borrowed time re: being lost once again to its power. the only suggestion the hells have that this might be a justified and right course of action is the support of two gods -- one who has proven themself to be okay with the idea of death until it actually arrives before and the other one who is the only being on record who actually chose to be a deity -- out of a much larger pantheon, and their personal inclinations to agree with the ideology of a man who they have claimed to ardently disagree with but it turns out that was just because of his methods, I guess. scattershotting catalysts for change and hoping that change results in a Better World just. on its own (almost like. idk. fate) that you haven't even suggested practical (I'd even take theoretical ones atp) methods to achieve beyond Get Rid of a bunch of beings who are involved in actually extreme amounts of metaphysical and magical infrastructure isn't actually a course of action, its a course of chaos, and that is in fact worse than things staying the way they are if 'the way things are' that you keep referring to has only been shown to, currently, be that you and your friends feel sad and a little miffed that the gods you haven't offered anything to are only willing to do things for you when you serve them. unlike you, a group notorious for the way you do things for people you don't know without asking anything in return (this is sarcasm, if that wasn't clear).
anyway, I will continue to be frustrated by the lack of grounding for either (a) bell's hells having actually incisive and contextualized criticisms of the gods (either their own or from the actual mouths of the 'little guys' they are allegedly fighting for) or (b) more engagement with the fact that bell's hells as a party are not interested in making the morally right choice, they are at Best looking for a morally neutral choice. that said, if I ignore the actual story c3 has portrayed, the last few episodes have been a great wrap-up to a story about how singleminded trauma can make you and how that can lead you to place where there's no longer any Good choices to make, only potentially satisfying ones, where the question of who to satisfy takes the reigns over what is best.
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chosove · 2 days ago
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18+ mdni | tutoring toru :)
tw. mentions of A&P I ☹️ anatomy and physiology … my enemy …
pairing: satoru gojo x f!reader
“lets go over that one more time, ‘kay ‘toru? you have to use the scientific wording to actually be correct. its not ‘spongy stuff’, its trabeculae.”
you didnt realize how exasperated your voice sounded until you saw the man before you deflate, a pout forming on his pretty pink lips. “i dont get what i said wrong this time” satoru exclaimed, head falling to the table in frustration. “you asked the difference between compact and spongy bone, right? spongy bone is like…spongy looking. so i didn’t say tabec… whatever- why does it matter?”
it took a lot of effort to suppress the chuckle fighting its way past your lips- seeing the prideful gojo satoru crumble over basic anatomy was too ironic to not laugh at. “how ‘bout we take a break?” you sighed, patting his head, feeling warmth bloom in your chest when his teary eyes peeked up at you. letting your hand fall slightly, you cupped his cheek, wiping at the wetness forming on his lower lashes. did he always look this good? how were his eyes suddenly so intense, and how on earth do his lips look so soft? so red? so kissable?
without thinking, your thumb traced satoru’s lower lip, pulling it from its place between his teeth and watching in delight as he let you press down on it. it wasn’t until he let out a soft pant, eyelids fluttering shut that you finally pulled your hand back, the guilty look painting your face making it seem like you’d just been caught doing something much, much worse.
god, how satoru wishes that were the case.
jumping back, you brushed your hands off on your shirt before turning to him once again, his wide eyes watching your every move. “h-how about we finish there today, hm? you seem tired so-“
before you could finish, his hand shot up to grab your wrist. “no!” satoru nearly shouted, clearing his throat when he saw you jump. “s-sorry, i mean um…” his voice trailed off as he stared into your eyes, thinking of an excuse for you to stay and do something other than school.
satoru had been crushing on you ever since the first day of biology, the way you smiled when he asked what your professor meant by homeostasis melting his heart- he was closer than ever today and he couldnt lose that momentum.
“maybe we could focus on something else?…” you watched his adams apple bob before he continued, nerves evident in the way his voice began to tremble. “m-might help me memorize stuff better if i have a real figure?”
if it werent for the fact he was your favourite client (who also paid the most), you would’ve said no. you probably shouldve said no, but god he really did look like he was about to pass out just from voicing the request- what would he look like when you showed him all the spots he was most sensitive? did he already know them?
Before you could think too deeply on it, you responded with a nod. “not really comfy down here though…how about we go up to your room?”
A deep blush painted his cheeks as he grabbed your hand and led you up the stairs to his room, sitting shyly on his bed with his hands in his lap after opening the door. You giggled at the sudden change in his mood- he wasnt all that confident when he first asked you up here, but did he even wanna go through with it?
Standing before him, you dragged a finger across his jaw, slightly lifting his head up to look at you. “We can always go back to studying ‘toru, I dont mind.”
He didnt know if it was the way the nickname rolled off your lips or the implication that something that wasnt school was actually gonna happen, but he shook his head rapidly and wrapped his arms around your thighs regardless- relishing in the giggle you let out as you placed your hands on his undercut for stability. “N-no please, i mean…we haven’t done a lot of studying on the actual anatomy part right?”
It should be a crime how irresistible gojo satoru can be even when using biology to flirt. “Guess you’re right ‘toru, how about we start with…” your voice trailed off as you moved to sit atop his lap, the sight of his eyelids fluttering shut when your crotch rested just above his making your stomach flip with excitement. “D’you remember what I said these were called?” your sweet voice questioned, dragging his hands to rest on your breasts.
A deep groan fell from Satoru’s lips, his head falling forward to rest between his hands as they groped your chest. “Y-yeah fuck they’re mammary glands right? ‘S where the milk c-comes from”
You giggled at his neediness, his hips jumping up while talking about milk only making you cockier. Ripping your shirt off, you tilted his head up once more to look into his blown out pupils. “Feeling thirsty ’toru?”.
His blown out pupils watched with excitement as your hands reached behind you to unclip your bra, a sigh of release falling from your lips as the tension of the bands washed away. Without another word, satoru pressed a kiss to your left nipple, watching the way the sensation caused it to become erect. You gasped before pushing his head closer to your chest, craving his mouth to be on you anywhere and everywhere.
“ish th-this okay?” His muffled voice spoke as he suckled on your tits, desperately flicking his tongue against the nipple before gently biting it, slowly rocking his hips up into you each time he did so. Your fierce nods in response only goaded him on, his hand going to your other breast so it wasnt neglected, fingers busying themselves by pinching your nipple.
“Shit toru…ngh doin’ so good, ‘m so wet for you”
Before you could get any more words out, you heard a whine of what sounded like your name against your chest followed with a deep, rumbling groan, Satoru’s hips jumping up in reflex as he came in his pants. “F-fuck ‘m sorry hah jus’ wanted ya for so long n’ youre so pretty f-fuck ‘s still comin-“
What felt like eternity of gojo satoru licking and kissing your breasts as he creamed himself was finally over after nearly 3 minutes, his hands going from harshly grasping your tits to simply resting them atop them. You waited until he rid out his orgasm to make any movements, hands beginning to push him away before you were grabbed by his muscled arms.
“Ya didnt finish…i have to do the reproductive system next ya know…gonna need to know more than just youre mommy milkers”
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marvelrivalsimagines · 2 days ago
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Relationship Headcannons
Characters: Iron Fist, Luna Snow, Squirrel Girl
Prompt: One requester asked for Iron Fist and Squirrel Girl general relationship HCs and another asked for Luna Snow relationship HCs, so I put all three character headcannons into one post :)
Author’s note: When it comes to relationships HCs there’s so many things you can talk about! I know I didn’t cover every aspect of these relationships in the HCs but I also didn’t want this to get annoyingly long lol. I hope everyone enjoys this, especially the requesters!
Warnings: Brief mentions of chronic pain in Iron Fist’s section
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While Lin has an outwardly laid-back attitude it would be a mistake to assume that this means he takes everything in his life casually. When Lin commits to something he dedicates his entire body and spirit to it and this includes your relationship. Any challenges your relationship might face, whether it’s an argument between the two of you or the time stream entanglement itself, Lin is ready to do whatever it takes to keep you in his life. 
Aside from his dedication to fighting for your relationship Lin is also dedicated to fighting for you. While there’s a lot to adjust to in his new role as the Iron Fist helping people and standing up for others is something Lin has always believed in. With him around you have the most supportive cheerleader who’s there for you in moments where you may be struggling. Whether you need someone to just listen to you vent for a moment or you’d like him to step into a situation to help you out Lin is more than willing to help. Real “they said no pickles on their burger” energy. 
When it comes to PDA Lin is comfortable with almost anything. While other people might shy away from PDA due to embarrassment, Lin is just too caught up with you to ever turn down a kiss or a hug in public. While he might get a bit red in the face if you really go over the top with your affections, Lin appreciates every moment of your attention that he gets. 
Lin’s main love language is physical touch. As mentioned before, Lin has no problem with PDA so when the two of you are alone you both can really indulge in each other's touch. It’s just something that comes so naturally to him; placing a hand around your waist as you both stand in the kitchen or wrapping the both of you up in the same blanket before starting up a movie. 
Lin was living a normal life before becoming the Sword Master and then Iron Fist. While he is up to these new challenges life has suddenly thrown at him, it can sometimes be a lot to take in and can cause Lin to be overwhelmed or stuck in his own head for a bit. So aside from the affection he gets from your physical touch, it can also be extremely grounding for him to be hugged or held by you. It pulls him out of his worries and back into the present with you. 
Lin also deals with chronic pain from the fragments of his sword that are embedded in his hands. He’s come up with his own routines to try to alleviate that pain, and methods of coping with the pain when it is particularly bad. It may take some time for Lin to feel comfortable with being vulnerable enough to show you just how much this affects him. But, if you offer to help him whenever you notice he’s experiencing more pain than usual, and especially if you take the time to learn how he manages his pain and help him in those routines, Lin swears he’s never felt more seen or loved. 
While it’s impossible to completely alleviate his pain, for Lin it’s more about knowing that someone truly cares for him, and that while he puts his body on the line to save others you’re thinking about how to help him. The fact that you’re willing to put aside this time in your day and put all of your focus into this moment just to try to temporarily help with some of his pain makes his love for you grow even stronger. 
When it comes to date night and spending time together Lin has a preference for more relaxed activities and places. As the protector of K’un-Lun he spends his day, figuratively and literally, running around the city and fighting crime. For as much energy as Lin has, even he comes home tired most days after his duties as Iron Fist are finished. And there’s nothing better for sore muscles than cuddling with you on the couch and putting on some cheesy comfort movie. 
After an especially rough or tiresome day Lin would, figuratively, cry tears of happiness if he came home to a home cooked meal made by you. It doesn’t have to be anything complex or worthy of a michelin star, just knowing that you were thinking of him like this while he was gone touches his heart. As a hero spends his days protecting others, it means a lot to be cared for in return. 
In terms of a date night out, I can see Lin being the kind of person who’s more adventurous with his food tastes. He’d enjoy going to a restaurant with you that’s advertising some new food that’s either really spicy, is a type of food you don’t get often where you live, or has some unusual ingredients. He’s going to be joking around the entire time hyping up his excitement to try this new food. And when it finally gets to the table he’s going to play up his reaction to try and make you laugh. 
Lowkey I also think that Lin is the kind of person who eats his food really fast. Like you go out to dinner with him and while you’re just three bites into your food he’s already done. Then he’s looking at your side of fries like “Are you gonna finish that? 😳”
Having his significant other also be a hero would be fun and exciting, but it also might cause some worries for Lin. Lin would really enjoy training with you, learning about your skills and powers, and potentially thinking of ways he can learn from you by incorporating some of your tips into his own fighting style. He would also really enjoy being able to open up to you about some of the struggles of being a hero, like the pressure you put on yourself or how to cope when things don’t always go right. He’d really appreciate that his partner can truly understand these struggles. I can also definitely see Lin starting a relationship with someone he first met as a hero, probably a hero he’s looked up to simped for for some time. 
But at the same time, Lin has some insecurities about his title as the Iron Fist. Lin knows he’s earned this title and that he's just as much of an Iron Fist as those who have come before him, but there are still so many heroes who question him and compare him to Danny Rand (cough cough that Moon Knight voice line). This causes some worries to creep in; did you ever interact with Danny as a hero? Do you ever think about how Lin compares to the previous Iron Fists? 
If you’re fighting alongside each other in a fight, Lin is of course concerned for you but trusts you to be careful. His fighting style is highly mobile so he takes a ‘best defense is a good offense’ approach with the goal of taking out enemies before they become a problem for you. And even with that, he would still do his best to check in on you during the fight to make sure you’re doing okay. 
As much as Lin hates to see you hurt in any way, it’s comforting for him to get to patch up any cuts or bruises post fight. He cringes at the sight of your injuries, but the physical contact really assures him that you’re still alive and well.
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Dating Luna Snow, or as you get to know her, Seol Hee, is surprisingly chill. No pun intended While it might be easy to think that the life of a K-Pop superstar would be all mansions and fast cars, it’s important to Hee that she never loses touch with the people around her. After all, the entire reason she wants to be both an artist and a hero is to help people. So when she comes back home to you from a sold out show, all she really wants to do at the end of the day is enjoy some time as a ‘normal person’. 
That’s not to say that there aren't certain benefits to dating a world famous super star, if you want to embrace that. As much as Hee enjoys the stage and the limelight she’s also experienced some of its drawbacks such as drama obsessed reporters and the ruthlessness of public opinion online. Going public about your relationship together would potentially pull you into all of that and Hee would never force you into that kind of life if it wasn’t something you were ready for. 
Whether you choose to embrace the attention or would like to keep the relationship private, Hee supports the decision and respects you no matter what. Either way, you’re getting a love song written about you. The only difference is if the rest of the world knows that the famous Luna Snow only has you in mind as she sings the lyrics. 
Levels of PDA would also depend on if your relationship is public, since kissing the pop star out in public would expose your relationship pretty quickly if you’re trying to keep things private. But even if your relationship is known to the public, Hee is pretty reserved when it comes to PDA. She’s comfortable with hand holding or a quick kiss to the cheek, but anything beyond that she’d like to keep in private. 
It’s not that she doesn’t enjoy your touch, she just enjoys keeping the physical intimacy between the two of you completely private. She would rather enjoy your touch at home where neither of you have to worry about how others may be watching or perceiving you and you can both be carefree about your love. 
Hee’s main love language is quality time. As both an international superstar and a super hero her schedule is filled to the brim. She rarely gets time to herself and sometimes when she does get a break from her pop stardom, she can be suddenly called into action as a superhero for an emergency. Hee has really learned the value of time, and her free time is especially precious to her. So it’s really a testament to how much she loves you when she chooses to spend that free time with you!
For as long as Hee has to wait to see you sometimes, she’s surprisingly open to do anything with you. For her, as long as she gets to be by your side it is definitely time well spent. Even if you just want to relax at home and do separate things, Hee is happy as long as she gets to enjoy your presence next to her. 
Again, with her down to earth nature, even the small, mundane things are special to Hee. Washing the dishes becomes a cherished memory as the two of you work together, teasing each other as Hee playfully splashes water on you or carefully places some of the bubbly soap suds on the tip of your nose. It’s your turn to tease Hee as the radio you turned on for some background noise starts to play one of her own hits, and you’re treated to a silly and lighthearted lip sync performance by the artist herself. 
Aside from the domestic nights at home, Hee does really enjoy the date nights the two of you plan where you both leave the home. She has a preference for beautiful, intimate date spots like dinner in a private booth at a restaurant or an evening of clothing shopping at local boutiques. 
Restaurants are one of the few places where Hee will flaunt her wealth a bit. What good is all the pop star money if she can’t use it to spoil you a bit? She ensures that both of you get to enjoy a private and gorgeous setting so you can simply focus on eachother, and maybe the picturesque skyline in front of you. She also might not say it out loud but Hee loves taking any excuse to see you dressed up in tailored formal wear. 
Speaking of, if the two of you go on a shopping date Hee absolutely loves taking you into the dressing room and making you try on endless outfits she’s picked out for you as you both have been walking through the store. As a pop star her sense of fashion is fine tuned to perfection, no matter what your personal style may be. Even if you have sensory issues with clothing, she tracks down the perfect piece that both accommodates your needs and compliments your figure. 
During the course of all of these dates Hee takes so many pictures of you so she can keep reminders of you while you may be away from each other. Her favorite photos of you are the candid ones where you look the most like yourself, though she also likes to occasionally ask others to take posed photos of the two of you together. She especially likes to do a lot of these ‘photo shoots’ right before she knows she’ll be especially far away, like if she is going to perform a concert in another country or if she knows her super hero duties will keep her away for an extended time. 
If you are also a superhero Hee is determined to make everyone realize what a power couple you two are. Hee works as both a pop star and a superhero because she wants to instill hope in people, so that people have something to keep them going in dark times. She would love to work alongside her partner to show the world that with both the strength of your powers and the strength of your relationship the two of you can conquer any threat and protect the hope that keeps humanity going. 
Hee would especially get a kick out of your superhero dynamic if you are the masked, quiet, and mysterious type of hero. Despite knowing the real you and that you’re much more complex than those three adjectives, the slightly mischievous side of Hee can’t help but play up the dynamic of the bubbly pop star and the brooding hero that others have placed you two into. The fans just love it!
If the two of you are fighting side by side, Hee is of course worried for your safety but she also has a lot of confidence in both of your skills. I mean, this is the woman who sassed Namor to his face while they were both standing right next to the ocean. She’s very confident in her own skills, and she knows that you’re great at your job as well. 
You’ve most likely fought side by side multiple times together, so it’s natural for the two of you to try and stick together during the fight. But if the two of you get separated for whatever reason, Hee makes sure to keep her eye on you in case you need any sort of help or healing. In a situation where multiple people on her team need healing, you’ll always get it first and she doesn’t really hide her bias. 
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Doreen approaches your relationship like she does with everything in her life - with lots of excitement and optimism. With her there’s never going to be a time where you’ll doubt if this relationship is something Doreen truly wants. Even when she comes home from a long day of beating up super villains she still finds the energy to dedicate to you and your relationship.  
The relationship also tends to center around enjoying the now. Doreen is always in the moment, finding interest and excitement in what’s happening around her that day. With her optimistic outlook she doesn’t spend much time thinking about what might happen in the future. While it’s great to be with someone who reminds you to enjoy every day it also might be up to you to bring up important long-term topics, like if you two want to move in together. She’s not avoiding commitment or trying to duck out of tough conversations, she just finds it hard to worry about what you guys might be doing tomorrow when she has you in her arms right now!
Doreen is perfectly comfortable with PDA and if you’re comfortable with physical contact in public then Doreen will be initiating it a lot. She wouldn’t do anything crazy like make out with you in public though. Doreen enjoys the sweet honeymoon phase types of physical contact with you out in public, like resting her head on your shoulder or placing an arm around you while talking to other people. She especially loves to hold your hand out in public; on the crowded streets of New York City she’s gotta make sure you’re always right by her (and tippy’s) side! 
Doreen would also be the kind of person who enjoys giving you a quick, chaste kiss on the cheek or lips if you’re both enjoying some down time in public, like if you’re at a restaurant or just standing and waiting at a crosswalk together. But if you give her a kiss in public, you’ll get to see a flustered and blushing Doreen. No matter how long you two have been together, a quick, unexpected kiss in public has the power to completely derail her train of thought which is quite a feat. 
Doreen’s main way of showing love would be through her words. She loves to talk and that translates to a near infinite amount of compliments. Doreen’s compliments may not be poetry, but you can always tell that her words are genuine and come straight from her heart. Her lack of a filter can be a problem sometimes but when it comes to her sweet words for you it’s cute. 
Aside from getting lots of compliments you’ll also get every thought that comes to her brain. You’ll be doing some activity that doesn’t require 100% of your attention, like cleaning your room or cooking some dinner for the two of you, and Doreen will spend the entire time talking to you about the most random things. From what she spent her day doing, any hero activities she got up to, and the drama amongst the local wild squirrels; you’ll suddenly be an expert in it all with how much detail Doreen goes into while she’s talking to you.
And Doreen isn’t 100% aware that she does this. She’s not purposefully trying to distract you from what you’re doing or talk over you. If you have anything to add onto her stories she’ll be more than happy to hear your comments and jokes. In fact, knowing that you’re paying attention to what she’s saying and showing that you care about her thoughts just makes her fall even more in love with you
But back to why she talks so much. It’s just that Doreen loves you so much and she feels so comfortable around you that she can finally let all those hyperactive thoughts stored up in her brain out! She loves you, feels comfortable with you, and has a lot of thoughts about a lot of things so of course she’s just gotta let it all out around you. 
Doreen admittedly might struggle a bit if you sometimes need some silence, like if you’re overstimulated from the day or have a migraine. But she’s genuinely trying her best and is sincerely sorry if she’s too loud. As long as you communicate to her that you need some quiet Doreen will try to keep herself busy by either helping you out with whatever might be causing your need for silence or just doing her own thing until you’re ready to hear about what totally weird thing Tippy found in Central Park 
Because of Doreen’s seemingly endless energy she has a preference for dates where you two get to actively do something together, like maybe a trivia night at a restaurant/bar where she gets to show off her smarts or a quirky local business like an axe throwing place. 
There are lots of weird, interesting spots in New York and as a superhero who keeps her eyes peeled at all times Doreen knows about a lot of these places. So when it comes to date night Doreen is always full of suggestions. It’s honestly kind of impressive how she can almost always come up with some new place or activity that you two haven't done together yet. 
Out of all the places you two frequent together Doreen’s favorite recurring date spot is Central Park. There’s nothing Doreen loves more than to pack a homemade lunch with you and walk over to the massive and beautiful park to enjoy each other’s company and some nice weather. Some warm sunshine, squirrels chasing each other through the trees, and the comforting feeling of you resting up against her. What more could she ask for? 
That’s not to say that Doreen wouldn’t enjoy a quiet night in as well though. Squirrels get tired too, and sometimes a movie on the couch with some takeout is just what you need after a long day of beating up bad guys. 
If you’re a hero like Doreen she sees this as an opportunity to spend even more time together. She would love to go out on patrol together with you and it would honestly be a lot like hanging out with Doreen regularly. Her cheerful attitude really helps keep things light when you're fighting the insane villains of New York. 
If you’re in a major fight side by side, Doreen won’t baby you or try to tell you what to do but she’ll be trying her best to stick by your side. Just in case something starts to go wrong she wants to be by your side to make sure the two of you make it out okay. Doreen wouldn’t be able to forgive herself  if something happens to you while she could have intervened. 
Reassuring Doreen that you won’t be reckless and that you’ll always be looking out for each other will make her feel a lot better. While neither of you can guarantee the outcome, she just wants to know that no matter what happens during the fight you promise to come back home with her and Tippy.
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viperify · 2 days ago
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𝗔𝗨 | ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ!ᴛᴏᴍ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
Moonlight Cravings.
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Short summary: Vampire!Tom has known he’d make you his ever since he first met you. When his need for your blood grows unbearably strong, he knows it’s time to finally make a move.
A/N: As I plan on writing more than just one full-length fic for my Vampire AU anyway and haven’t had the time to work on it yet, I thought I’d get started with a how-vampire!Tom-would-slowly-declare-his-presence-in-your-life drabble/fic.
wordcount: 1,0k
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Tom’s presence looms over your life like a shadow. He seems to be wherever you go, and though he never pays you much attention, he still is there. Either casually leaning against the wall near the class you are attending next or accompanying his friends to the Three Broomsticks when you are there as well. Which is quite ironic, considering most people know Tom doesn’t even like butterbeer.
In fact, you are not quite sure if he likes anything really. Each time you share a class, Tom is mostly quiet, except for his witty remarks whenever professors ask questions. Even outside the classroom he doesn’t talk much, mostly found in the library with his head buried in books. Well, as long as you are in the library as well, that is.
You don’t think too much of it. It’s Tom Riddle, after all—naturally one of the most handsome men you have ever laid eyes on, but oh so unreachable. You vividly remember a girl back in your third year asking him to attend the Yule Ball with her. It was a decision she made against the advice of practically everyone she asked, and it ended exactly the same way you had told her it would. Things like these never end well with him, so you don’t even attempt questioning his behaviour—instead, you think you are utterly delusional for even assuming there could be anything between the two of you.
Tom, on the other hand, is entirely consumed by you. From the moment he first caught your unmistakably sweet scent, he knew he had to have you, his mind going blank every time you simply passed him in the corridors. It’s as if there is a force pulling him towards you, one that he can’t control, one that clouds his mind and strips him of any sane thoughts he had left. Taming his needs as a vampire has never been difficult. Not until he met you, that is.
And as soon as bouquets of your favourite flowers show up in your dorm every other week, accompanied with small gifts like your pralines of choice, you can’t help but wonder whether there was a chance Tom’s strange behaviour did have something to do with this. It’s these thoughts that keep you up at night and make you zone out in class. There is not much you can do except wonder who it is that admires you, but you sure have a guess.
During yet another restless night, you decide to get up and take a walk through the castle to calm your mind. The hallways are faintly illuminated by the moon’s glow, shining brightly as it completes yet another full circle around the earth. Although your steps are as quiet as they can possibly be, you soon feel the air shift around you, as though someone is watching you. But when you turn around, no one is there.
“You shouldn’t be wandering around the castle this late at night.” A voice coming from your right remarks, and you almost drop your wand, heart hammering wildly in your chest in response to the unexpected interruption. A tall figure emerges from behind a pillar then, and it takes you less than one second to figure out who it is. You had forgotten that Tom Riddle also happened to be a prefect.
It’s too dark to make out much of his face, but there is an undeniable red glow that flickers in his otherwise dark brown eyes. Before you can even process the thought, he blinks, and it’s gone. Instead, the corner of his mouth lifts just slightly as he takes in your startled expression, raising his eyebrow expectantly.
 “I suppose I- I couldn’t sleep. You must know, walking helps to clear my mind.” You manage to get out, and although it isn’t a lie, your hesitation sure made it sound like one.
Tom huffs. “A selfish action that just cost your house ten points. Now, you surely wouldn’t mind me escorting you to your respective dormitories?”
You don’t try to argue—it is still Tom Riddle you’re dealing with after all. Instead, you respond with a small nod and retrace your steps with him by your side.
“What might your mind be troubled with?” he asks then, his voice cutting through the silence of the night. The question makes you tense slightly, your fingers curling tighter around your wand. It’s the first time he actively looks for a conversation, the first time his presence feels intended and real.
You take a breath, not exactly knowing what to respond. “Your seemingly seventh sense for my whereabouts“ doesn’t seem like an appropriate answer after all.
The upcoming exam season saves you from the awkwardness. Although he doesn’t seem to fully believe you, he lets it go, not speaking another word until you disappear behind your dormitory door.
But even then, you can’t seem to sleep, the image of the red glow in his eyes lingering in your mind. You know there is something you can connect it to, and soon, a memory of a Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson in your second year resurfaces.
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Full moon. Pale skin. Red eyes. They all match, and yet you find it hard to believe. Vampires have been extinct for nearly 400 years in Great Britain, there was no real reason for you to think he could be one.
Right?
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houseshousewife · 12 hours ago
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Watching House, you just have to accept that sometimes the writers will make him act gross and slightly out of character.
1; because of the times, and 2; likely because the writers have their own weird fetish about it 🙄🙄
#specifically the episodes of him interacting with a teenage girl#house has been shown that he very specifically thinks that teenagers are stupid and he’s not attracted to them#he ALWAYS opts for the older woman; around his age#even with cameron; he didn’t go for her#so WHY are there random af episodes where suddenly this teenager who is flirting with him is soooo hot and tempting#they even use ‘jailbait’ a lot 🙄🙄🤢#almost everything he does is out of a place of sarcasm or not taking anything seriously; or even as a political/social commentary#the intersex episode specifically is less him being weird and more a social commentary and explicitly pointing out how absurd & weird it is#so WHY the FUCK did they suddenly write him like *that*#like; he’s not just flattered. I know that’s a common argument.#they make it clear that house finds her attractive; and I think that’s so gross!#when they make him ironic and sassy and sarcastic about it; that’s great!#I love his sassy personality; that he always has this unserious persona; a lot of what he says is ironic#or trying to make some sort of social statement#don’t take my Dr house away from me 😡 s3 ep 3&4 NOT MY DR HOUSE!#house writers for specifically those episodes when I get you!!!#ITS ALSO THE FACT THE SHOW HAS SO MUCH SOCIAL COMMENTARY about how normal it is in society (at the time) about ‘jailbait’#and casual gross comments about minors; there’s episodes where house specifically makes a point of saying shit just to show how absurd it is#sarcastic commentary; mind you#AND THEN they turn around and do the exact gross shit they were just making a commentary about?#house writers WHEN I FIND YOU… 🫵🫵🫵🫵#sorry I have lots of thoughts about this 😡😡#see; house is an asshole. but he’s a lovable asshole. he’s literally meant to be still likable at the end of the day#house#dr house#Greg house#Gregory house#house md
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socialistexan · 8 hours ago
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So recently I had a blowup fight with a trump supporter cousin of mine who I, honestly, felt pretty betrayed by. She had been a good ally to me, she was so quick to accept me when I came out. She had been fairly progressive our entire lives. We drove to college together, she looked after me in my beginning stages of becoming an adult.
And then she turned around, after all this time, and become the thing that she said she hated. She told me none of that mattered because Trump was more pro-Israel and "agaisnt the terrorists Biden is funding" (she's referring to Palestinians here)
But the thing that has really stuck with me was that she told me, "I'm sorry you were radicalized against your own heritage"
Which is a wild statement to me. Because my heritage isn't a settler state that I have never stepped foot in, it's the Jewish diaspora that has survived and fought for their lives for generations against our oppressors. It isn't the race science of Zionism, an ideology that says Arabs are inherently inferior and need to be subjugated. Not in my name. Never in my name.
What I don't understand is she could see through all of this bullshit when we were young. When it was George Bush and the War on Terror saying the same things in the same ways against almost the same people.
And, I'll be honest, I wasn't exactly articulate in my responses. I was abrasive, I was mean, and I didn't get out all the points I wish I had gotten out. Mostly because it was early in the morning and I've been having a pretty bad time mentally the past few months and it's been affecting all of my relationships like my friendships, family, and romantic relationships. And I let that happen.
I wasn't able to bring up Irgun or the terrorist groups in the levant which eventually formed Israel. I didn't get to bring up the goal of Zionism was the erase the history and culture of the diaspora. How early Zionist leaders wrote incredibly awful and racist things about both Jews they disagreed with and Arabs.
All I really got in there was calling her Ben Shapiro, gesturing at Biden's funding of Israel at historically high levels, and the fact early Zionists were allied with fascists.
I didn't get a chance to bring up all the things I learned in those classes in the I/P conflict ironically in that time my cousin was looking over me, from a Jewish professor no less, because I was taken aback so much and in pain. It's an extremely important lesson for me, honestly.
How do you keep your composure when it is someone you have loved and cared about coming at you?
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everestgale · 1 day ago
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I SLIDE U SMITTEN ACROSS THE FLOOR FOR THE CHARACTER ASK STUFF -OWL
SMITTEN OUR BELOVED...
[Send Me a Character and I'll List Ask Game]
favorite thing about them
Smitten is so full of love! And he is so open about his love! He loves the Princess no matter what she looks like, no matter what she does to you, how much hurt she inflicts on you. He will always love her! He is so passionate, so devoted to her, even to his own detriment-
Yes, my favorite thing about Smitten is how absolutely deranged and passionate he is. No, I am not sorry /lh
least favorite thing about them
This is less "least favorite thing about him" and more about disliking how some people misunderstand him as possessive and malicious in HEA. He is unhealthy and flawed, and he caused harm, absolutely, but he is not doing anything in HEA from the place of malice, and I will die on that hill <3
favorite line
"Oh, just you wait and see! My vengeance will echo the depths of my bereavement!"
brOTP
I really like the Grey Brothers (Skeptic + Smitten), I like the idea of them having a weird sibling-ish bond, but in a "distant sibling who you don't talk to much because you two are so different... but it's nice to chat and catch up sometimes, and you are still there for each other if you really need one another" kind of way.
OTP
Ironically, I don't actually ship Smitten all that much... who am I kidding, the answer is CheatedSmitten, and I really need to draw more of them when my wrist recovers, or I will EXPLODE-
(If you'd like a reason, a friend wrote a very nice description on how this ship would play out, and I've been rotating it in my head for a few weeks. Smitten, the kind of person to extend his heart wide open, but also to probably wonder if he will ever be enough after he disastrously failed with HEA... and Cheated, the guy who repeatedly failed over, and over, and over, and over, someone who would understand this feeling of not being enough- Okay, I gotta stop, otherwise it will take over this whole post)
nOTP
Definitely not a nOTP, it's just that out of popular Smitten ships, I have a very hard time imagining Smittunist (Smitten/Opportunist), and it's entirely because of how I designed and how I write both of them. In fact, I actually really like seeing how other people write and/or draw that ship!! So it's decisively a "me" and "my designs/interpretations" problem 💔
random headcanon
People-pleaser Smitten. You can see it throughout this entire post, I'm very deep in the "people-pleaser Smitten" headcanon mine, and I can't get out of it /lh
unpopular opinion
Once again, don't know how unpopular it is, but I think specifically in the Unknown Together ending, where Smitten knows that she left with the Long Quiet, while he would be sad for a while over the fact that the Princess is gone, he will eventually bounce back, accept the fact that she is happily with "the big guy" somewhere, wherever that might be, and then choose to extend his over-the-top loving self to other people (mainly, his fellow voices) <3
...this is specifically for the Unknown Together endings. If we're talking about A New and Unending Dawn... well, we get an entirely different Smitten.
song i associate with them
It's more of a mixed HEA + Smitten song, but there is no other song that I associate with Smitten more than this one, so "Predator" by The Crane Wives it is!
"What were you thinking? Shouldn't you know better? You took advantage of another anxious people pleaser"
I'm kind of obsessed with how these lines fit well as HEA singing about Smitten... but also as Smitten singing to the Long Quiet, or rather, you, the player, for choosing to stay in the cabin and create this "Happily Ever After" ending... only to be dissatisfied with it.
favorite picture of them
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This is what happens when the character we're talking about is a disembodied voice who has no canon design. So! How about my favorite drawing of him, which is this illustration with the Damsel. Look at them! They are so happy :]
Ignore the fact that it's part of the illustration set and in the rest of the illustrations they are not so happy, that's not what the question was asking!
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inbloomwriting · 13 hours ago
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Everything to me - Chapter 3
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Chapter three - Raspberry
Chapter 1 II Chapter 2
Plot: Jamie Tartt is a lot of things: professional footballer, the island's top scorer .... sexually, extremly handsome. But one thing he never saw himself as was a dad. Too bad he has to deal with the consequences of his own actions. This fic follows reader and Jamie as they navigate life and turn from practially strangers to parents. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Pregnancy, swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, slight mention of sexual intimacy (nothing graphic), strained/toxic parental relationship Notes: I do not have a set uploading schedule. Please bear with me as I work on this story. I know hardly anything about pregnancy, all my information comes from google. Sorry it took so long to update this. I tagged everyone who showed interest in future parts and/or asked to be tagged. Please let me know if you want to be taken off or added to the taglist. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. 
Jamie sleeps like a rock. It’s a new discovery for (Y/N) as she tries to unravel herself from his tight grip. She doesn’t remember falling asleep cuddled up to each other, in fact, she doesn’t remember falling asleep at all. It’s like one moment they were talking about the baby and the next she wakes up to the sun pouring in through the window and Jamie’s quiet snores filling the room. And his arms wrapped around her like a vice. 
God that man is clingy. 
And, whereas with any other man, this would scare her off, there is something about Jamie that makes the whole thing endearing.
Maybe it’s the fact that they are not dating, not even trying to. It takes some of the pressure off. All she has to be is a good mum and a good friend and while those two things are hard enough as they are, at least there are no romantic feelings involved, no expectations to uphold when it comes to being a girlfriend, a partner. 
Jamie sleeps like a rock, doesn’t even so much as twitch when she slips from his grip and rests his arm back on the side of the bed she used to occupy just moments earlier. Even the squeaky floorboard doesn’t wake him as she makes her way downstairs. 
A sweet smell permeates the air and makes (Y/N)’s mouth water. This heightened sense of smell is both a blessing and a curse. Mostly a curse. Most smells make her nauseous these days. Not today though, this one just makes her hungry. It smells of sugar and vanilla and all things sweet and warm.
Simon’s smiling face greets her as she rounds the corner into the kitchen. She wonders if this man ever stops smiling. He’s the personification of a ray of sunshine.
“Good morning, come have a seat. I’m making waffles.” 
Waffles. (Y/N) can’t remember the last time someone made her waffles for breakfast. Dad did, sometimes when she was little, and stayed with him for the weekend. But then the waffle iron broke and he never got around to buying a new one. So pancakes and bacon it was. Beans sometimes. Sausages if he was feeling particularly fancy.
“I’d love some, thank you! It smells amazing.” 
“Yeah? Oh, thank god. I was afraid the smell would be too much and make you feel sick. Only realized that after I poured in half the vial of vanilla essence though.” 
The sheepish look on his face puts a smile on (Y/N)’s face. It’s nice someone cares about those little things.
“Never had to deal with anyone pregnant so I don’t know these things but I had a quick Google last night and it says 8 weeks means a heightened sense of smell. Also, the baby is the size of a Raspberry.” 
If she didn’t know any better, (Y/N) would swear that Jamie and Simon must share some DNA. Both of them so clumsy in the way they care but infinitely endearing. 
“Yeah, Raspberry or Blueberry or Kidney Bean. So tiny." 
“Crazy isn’t it? To think it’s gonna be a proper human soon enough.” 
She nods her head in agreement as Simon places a plate stacked with two thick fluffy waffles before her. 
“You’re telling me. I know this is all happening inside my body and it’s still insane to think about. Doesn’t feel real.” 
Simon regards her with soft eyes. There is warmth in there but something else. Something she can’t quite place. Georgie had the same look last night. Like they know more than she does. And fuck, maybe they do. They’ve done this before. Lived enough of life to know what the hell they are doing. 
“Are you alright? “
(Y/N) was never big on sharing her feelings with anyone, let alone strangers. Life, and both her parents really, have taught her that talking about your feelings only makes you vulnerable. And being vulnerable usually ends in pain. So what you do is you take your insecurities, your fears, your sadness and you put it in a tiny little box and then you put on the lid. You tie a ribbon around it with a neat bow on top and then you take that box that holds your feelings and you bury it. And then you spend your whole life living like the protagonist in an Edgar Allan Poe story and that box becomes a beating heart under the floorboards of your life. 
And the beating never ever stops. 
“Sure. I’m good.” 
She thinks he knows she’s bluffing but lets it go anyway. Opening up to Jamie is scary enough, takes up enough of her bravery. Simon is lovely and if she was another person altogether she’d love to share her worries with him, he seems like the best listener. She’s not someone else though, she is just herself and she can’t bring herself to talk. 
“Okay. Just want you to know that if you need anything or — anyone. Georgie and I are always there to help. I know I’m not Jamie’s real dad but I do feel like that is my son. I don’t have children of my own and I only met Jamie when he was a pre-teen already so I don’t know much about babies but if you guys let me I am sure I can be a phenomenal grandad. My mum always used to say I was already born a little old man so this feels like I finally get a chance to be what I was always supposed to be. My time to shine has come.” 
A harmony of their laughter fills the kitchen. God, is this whole family made up of the sweetest people on this entire planet? Do they make them in a damn factory or something?
“I will hold you to it. When the baby is screaming and I need some sleep I’ll come drop them off with you then.” 
“Oh, I’ll be ready with some bedtime stories and lullabies.” 
“You are sweet, Simon. And I really appreciate the offer. God knows Jamie and I don’t know the first thing about being parents so we can take all the help we can get.” 
“Do you want to hear a secret?” 
“Sure.” 
“No one knows what they’re doing. As long as you try your best that’s all that matters. Kids are forgiving if they know you care.” 
People always say that but there’s a little part of (Y/N) that believes those words to be untrue. Did her mum try her best and this was the outcome? Or did she just not care to do more, to be better? And which of those scenarios would be worse? 
Jamie’s sleepy voice pulls her from her spiraling thoughts. “Morning, love.” 
He places a soft kiss on the top of her head. So sure, so unbothered as if they do this all the time. Is this what it feels like? Being able to show your feelings and show affection without wondering what consequences it may bring? Without fearing that it makes you too vulnerable? 
His hand finds her stomach and gives it a soft rub “And good morning to you, baby.” 
It will never not be endearing to her to hear him talk to the baby. And neither will the way he pronounces the word ever lose its magic to her. That is his pride and joy there. His babeh. 
“Aw Waffles, sweet!” 
As Jamie plops down next to Simon and stuffs his face with vanilla waffles, leaving a slight dust of powdered sugar on his lips, (Y/N) is certain that all his worries are unjustified. 
Jamie is all his dad and none of his father. Every inch and every fiber of him is a product of the love that Georgie and Simon have raised him with. He is them in the way he smiles and cares and the way he feels joy so freely and unabashedly.
And if only a smidge, only a sprinkle of that love is extended towards her child, that kid is gonna grow up so adored it won’t know where to put all of that love. 
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“Think I’m gonna throw up.” 
“Like pregnancy barf or meeting mum nausea? “
Leave it to Jamie to put a smile on her face even when the world around her seems to crumble and fall. 
“You gotta stop calling it that.” 
“Alright, but you have to tell me which one it is so I know if I should hand you a barf bag or give you a pep talk. I’m getting awfully good at them if I dare say so myself. Learned a lot from Ted, yeah?” 
If this was just the pregnancy making her nauseous everything would be so much easier. Ginger drops and rest would do the trick. But this is so much worse. This sharp feeling cursing through her veins, gnawing at her bones and devouring her like a hungry wolf. There truly is no one capable of breaking your heart like your own mother.
“Let me hear that pep talk then.” 
As he navigates the car up the long driveway, flanked by big ornate mansions with brass iron fences and perfectly symmetrical hedges, Jamie regards (Y/N) from the corner of his eyes.
“Okay, well you don’t need to worry. Things are gonna be just fine. You know why?” 
“Why?” 
“Cause mums love me and middle-aged women love me. It’s cause they think I’m charming,” he says and glances at (Y/N) for a second. That radiant cheeky smile of his taking over his features. Oh, she hopes their kid gets his smile. “Which I am.” 
“So charming, really.” 
“You’d know,” Jamie replies and nods his head in the direction of her belly.
His laughter echoes through the car as she gives him a soft slap against the shoulder. There’s just something about Jamie that makes life feel a little lighter, a little more effortless. Even if it's just for a moment, just pretend. It does take the heavy weight off of (Y/N)’s heart for a second. 
The car rolls to a stop in front of the gorgeous white house (Y/N) pointed out to him when they turned into the street. The lawn looks immaculate, the hedges are trimmed to perfection. This plastic palace all grand and gaudy. It never felt like home even though (Y/N) spent most of her life growing up in these very halls. 
But really what is it that makes a house a home? Love and laughter and memories you want to return to. This is just four walls and a roof. 
“Hey,” Jamie speaks up and places a hand gently on hers. “It’ll be alright but even if it won’t it will.” 
“Huh?” 
“I mean — look if she reacts badly, that sucks. But you have me, yeah? Always. Me and Rebecca and my Mum and Simon. Once we tell them I know the team will be obsessed with our baby, they’ll love her so much.” 
“Or him.” 
“Or him, yes. Ted is going to freak out, I know he’s going to want to hang out with our kid all the time. Roy? He’s already the best old geriatric uncle the world has ever seen. He won’t admit it but he’ll be really happy for us. Sam, Issac, Keeley, Higgins? All of them will be just a call away if we need help. I’m not sure about coach Beard though, he scares me not gonna lie.” 
“I think he’s hilarious actually.” 
“It’s because you’re smart and understand his jokes.” 
“You’re smart too!” 
“Nah, I just talk a lot and hope I end up saying the right thing. Anyway, what I mean is, this is your mum, yes, but in the big picture, she is just one person. And if she doesn’t love our baby there are so many other people who will. This baby will never, not for one second have to wonder if they are loved, because they are. So much.” 
And as easy as it is for him to make (Y/N) laugh, as easy it seems to be to make her cry. Good tears though. Tears that say “I believe you that things are going to be alright”. Tears that say “thank you.”
“Jamie Tartt, of all the footballers that could’ve accidentally knocked me up, I am so glad it was you. You are going to be the best dad.” 
“And you’re already the best mum. Well tied with my mum, obviously.” 
“Obviously.” 
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(Y/N)’s childhood home feels cold, Jamie notices. There are hardly any pictures and those that are there are posed and awkward. He can tell it’s (Y/N) on those pictures but they don’t feel like her. There is no happiness in them, no joy. None of that sarcastic charm she exudes. He passes by a lifetime of being told how to sit and how to smile and what to do and probably what to say as well. It makes him feel miserable. And it puts things into perspective. It makes sense now, her worries and fears. If you grow up surrounded by nothing but the cold you eventually start wondering if you’ll ever be capable of creating warmth.
“So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” (Y/N)'s Mum asks as she sits down at the head of the table. There’s something scary about this woman. She demands attention like a god-given right. She extends nothing in return. Her eyes are sharp and intense. It makes Jamie feel like she can see right through him down to all his insecurities and faults. She’s fucking terrifying. 
“I wanted to talk to you about something.” 
He hates the way (Y/N)’s voice has become so small and timid ever since they stepped foot into this mansion. Hates that there is nothing he can do to make it better and take this weight off of her. Nothing but be there. So he does that at least. Be there in all the ways he can be.
It’s so silly really, how his heart beats just a little faster when he touches her hand underneath the table. When she welcomes the soft gesture. When she returns his gentle squeeze. And when she links her fingers with his. 
So silly. Stupid little treacherous heart.
“Well, I gathered that much. I just wish you would’ve called ahead of time so I could’ve made some food.” 
“Made some food? Since when do you cook?”
The look her mother throws at (Y/N) could freeze a lake solid. It’s mean and chilling and Jamie wishes he never would’ve pushed (Y/N) to come here. Hates himself a little for putting her in this situation.
“I did attend several cooking classes last year. See, if you’d visit me a bit more often you’d know that.” 
And if she wasn’t such a raging bitch, maybe (Y/N) would visit her more often, Jamie thinks. Fortunately, he’s gotten much better at impulse control lately, well ever since Ted arrived really. The old Jamie would’ve blurted out those thoughts with no care of any consequences.
The old Jamie probably wouldn’t have stepped up to be a dad though. 
“Anyway, I would’ve liked a little warning. Especially if you’re bringing someone.” 
Being at the receiving end of that icy glare feels awful, Jamie decides as (Y/N)’s mother regards him with a mix of disdain and humor. Her eyes sparkle with a sense of smug superiority. Jamie is used to people underestimating him. They think he’s stupid. Some dumb footballer with straw filling the places where a brain should be. Quite honestly it doesn’t bother him, never had. He’s the first to admit that he can be dumb when it comes to certain things. He’s no poet and he has never been particularly good at math. But this woman and the way she looks at him rubs him the wrong way. She knows nothing about him and yet she thinks she’s got him all figured out. Flesh and bones and all. 
“Yeah uh, sorry about that. It was a spontaneous thing really. We would’ve called — “
“Sure, whatever you say. James was it?” 
His name sounds like venom dripping from her lips. James. He hasn’t been James since the moment he was born and Georgie first kissed his tiny head and whispered “You’re my little Jamie.” Not that he remembers that but it’s a story his mom has recounted to him many times.
“Jamie, yes.” 
“Right, Jamie.”
An uncomfortable silence settles upon the room. It crawls into the cracks and crevices of their conversation. It spreads and festers and discomfort grows around them like mold on damp walls. 
“Mum, we’re here because I wanted to tell you I’m pregnant.” 
The confession shoots through the silence like a bullet. Cuts through it like a knife through a flimsy ribbon. If this was a movie they’d put in a freeze frame or underlay the scene with some dramatic musical score. But this is real life and it comes with no editing and no soundtrack.
No, it just comes with a bellowing laugh from (Y/N)’s mother. It’s not the kind of laughter that makes you want to laugh along. The kind that makes you feel like sunshine has erupted inside your ribcage and wraps you in a warm blanket. It’s not like (Y/N)’s laugh. This one is mocking. It’s ridiculous. It’s meant to make you feel small and dumb. It breaks his heart to know this is the laughter (Y/N) grew up with. 
“You can not be serious. Pregnant?” 
A short, quiet “Yes.” leaves (Y/N)’s lips. Jamie gently squeezes her hand in return. I am here. He says. I will always be here. She squeezes back. He hopes it means “I know.”
“You stupid little girl.” 
(Y/N)’s hand grabs his more tightly. A lifeline to hold on to. Crescent moon shapes stamped into his skin. But if this is the price he’ll have to pay in order to be a good partner in all of this then he’ll pay it 10 times over. Of all the things in this world, all the ways to describe her, stupid is not one Jamie would ever think of. 
“Hey, don’t talk to her like that.” 
Maybe a little bit of old Jamie is still there. The good parts. The protective, opinionated parts maybe. Not reckless but brave.
“She is my daughter and I will talk to her as I very well please. But you’re right. She is not a little girl, she’s a grown woman. Which makes this even worse. You should know better, (Y/N). Getting pregnant by some — some guy.”
“Some guy? Excuse me?” 
“Well you’re not her boyfriend, are you? You are just some guy with no obligation to her. And if you wake up one day and realize what a massive mistake you made then you can just leave. She’ll be stuck being a mother forever.” 
It boils his blood to hear those vicious words hurled at him and (Y/N). Mistake? Sure this baby wasn’t planned but they’re not a mistake. Not for one single second did Jamie think of his child as a mistake. A surprise. A shock even. But never a mistake.
“I know you don’t know me and quite honestly I don’t think I want to know you either but I can tell you one thing. That is my baby and I love it now and I will always love it. It is not a mistake. You can judge me, you can judge her and you can judge our decisions but stop talking about my child like that. That is just uncalled for. I know my word doesn’t mean anything to you but I was here from the moment (Y/N) told me she was pregnant and I will be here for the rest of my life. That is a promise.” 
She has the audacity to scoff at him and completely ignore everything he just said. Instead, she moves her cold hard gaze towards (Y/N).
“What do you want me to say? Congratulations? Well, you’re not getting those here. Your father would be so — “ 
Before she can finish the sentence a shrill screeching sound cuts her off as (Y/N) pushes away from the dining table.
“I gotta get out of here.” 
“Oh, what is this now? You’re just going to leave because you don’t get the reaction you hoped for? I can pretend if that’s what you want me to —”
“Mum, I am not running. I need to go! I am nauseous as fuck and if you don’t want me to empty my stomach onto your dining table just let me leave. I didn’t come here asking for your approval, I just thought you should know you’re going to be a grandmother. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go throw up in your bushes.” 
Jamie is hot on her heels, grabbing both their jackets and (Y/N)’s bag in the process as he rushes after her. Though even in the chaos and hurry he doesn’t miss the look of absolute shock and bewilderment on the older woman’s face. It feels like a small victory but it does paint a little smile on his lips.
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“Oh don’t do that. I’m disgusting.” 
“I’ll be watching you push out a whole damn baby. This is nothing compared to that.” 
If it weren’t such an absurd situation, that comment probably would’ve sent her spiraling but really it’s the least confusing part of today. Of course, Jamie wants to be around for the birth. Now that he mentioned it, (Y/N) thinks she shouldn’t be surprised. Of course, he’ll be there. He’s been there for it all so far of course he’ll be there when the baby enters this world.
It’s almost a little dreamy and magical to think about. Almost. Because life doesn’t let her think too much about it before it sends another wave of vomit up her esophagus. 
“I don’t mind holding your hair while you puke, you're growing a whole human it’s the least I can do. But I gotta ask you something.” 
“What’s that?” (Y/N) asks and wipes her mouth with the sleeve of her sweater. Desperate times, desperate measures. At least that’s how she tries to justify it to herself.
“Is that hedge purposely cut to look like a dick?” 
He nods towards one of the boxwood trees at the edge of the property that (Y/N) has no doubt her mother hired a gardener to trim and shape and care for. 
“Holy shit, it does.” 
“And cut too. You think your mum knows?” 
And suddenly the nausea is gone and forgotten about and in its place, a flurry of giggles takes over. 
“Hey, are you okay?” Jamie asks once they both calm down a little.
Is she okay? Not really but this too will pass and it’s not like she expected anything else from her mother. Ever since (Y/N) was a little kid she remembers her mother dulling all her joy and whimsy. Why should things be different now? 
“No. But I will be.” and when he takes her hand in his and places a soft kiss on her knuckles, for the first time since turning into this very street, she truly believes in those words.
“Good. Now do you wanna go home or do something else?” 
“Home sounds good but uh — do you want to stay? Watch a movie or something? I don’t want to be alone right now.” 
Another kiss to her knuckles sends her heart into a little frenzy. Teeny tiny somersaults all around her ribcage.
“Yeah, can I pick? “
“Fuck no.”
“Alright, was worth a try.”
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“It was a dream? That’s it?”
The ending credits to The Wizard of Oz play on her little TV screen as (Y/N) and Jamie sit on her couch, a bowl of microwave popcorn long devoured and now empty resting between them.
“I mean, you can interpret it however you want.” 
“Meh, didn’t like that one very much. Next time we should watch the Muppets treasure island. That’s a good one.” 
There truly is something so sweetly endearing about Jamie’s childlike qualities. His unintentional goofiness and his ability to make even the worst day turn into an okay one. An “all in all kinda good” one.
“Okay, fine. Next time we’ll watch the Muppets. It just — my dad had the Wizard of Oz on DVD. One of the few movies he had. So whenever I’d stay with him we’d watch it together. I think I just wanted to feel close to him today.” 
“Hey,” Jamie chimes up and gently nudges her shoulder with his. “I didn’t know your dad but from what you said about him he seemed like a fun guy. A good guy. So I think your mum is wrong. He’d be proud of you. I know that.”
And for the second time that day (Y/N) thanks whatever cosmic power there is for putting Jamie in her life. For making him the person who goes through all of this alongside her. For making him her partner in this crazy adventure. For making him the father of her child.
“Thanks, Jamie. I really appreciate that you stood up for me and the baby. It’s not that I didn’t want to, I just froze. Every time I talk to her I want to say so many things but they get stuck somewhere on the way from my brain to my mouth.” 
“It’s okay, I get it. It’s like that with my dad too. We’ll just have to be each other’s voices then I guess.” 
“That sounds like a good plan to me.” 
He does it again then, that tiny insignificant kiss on the top of her head. It means nothing.
But it means everything.
“Hey uh — I’m not really tired yet. Do you wanna start that Muppets movie now?”
“Uh yeah? Absolutely. I’ll never say no to Kermit. He is THE frog.” 
Just a little while later, while Kermit and Miss Piggy sing a love song on screen while hanging off a cliff, (Y/N)’s eyes fall shut, her head resting gently against Jamie’s shoulder. 
For the second time in less than 24 hours (Y/N) falls asleep in Jamie’s arms. And though she might not realize it right then, she has never felt more safe and secure ever before.
Maybe things really will be alright.
“Now I know that life can take you by surprise, And sweep you off your feet. Did this happen to us, Or are we just dreaming? Love led us here.”
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chiasaaa · 1 day ago
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— truly, madly, deeply…
itoshi sae x f! reader
summary: everyone has a moment of weaknesses. you happen to have that after being overworked to your limit and sometimes, all you need is one person to feel better.
warning: english is not my first language. apologies for any grammatical or spelling errors.
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— dating a football superstar like itoshi sae has its pros and cons. for someone as busy and goal-driven as you, the pros have always contributed the heavier weight on the scale. dating sae couldn’t be more perfect with the how you easily align in terms of career plans. he had always been destined to become one of the greatest football players in the world, and you have glued your eyes on your fashion empire from the very start.
even so, sae always made sure to have time for you the same way you did to him. while you bend heaven and hell just to watch his matches, he always whips through sand and snow to celebrate every milestone and every occasion with you.
truly, you couldn’t ask for more from the loyal guy.
or so you thought.
recently, with the amount of work you’ve been drowning in, you couldn’t help but wish he was by your side to hold you through a breakdown. you never allow yourself to be vulnerable, especially when you’re alone. you need sae to be with you for you to actually let out a tiny bit of your feelings.
quite ironic, if you think about it.
the only person you can be vulnerable to is the one person in the world who seems to be rid of emotions. contrary to popular belief, sae is just the perfect person to confide to at one’s worst—well, maybe only yours.
you: i miss you
it was an attempt to start a small conversation tonight as you’re drinking your frustrations away with a glass of wine kept in your shared home. though, it feels more like it’s a single-person house with how much he’s spent time overseas.
the scent of his cologne no longer lingers in your cozy home. the scented candles that he gifted you so you won’t feel alone had run dry. even the love note he left on the fridge before he left fell down just this morning.
it isn’t like you to be dwelling too much on the little things, and you simply brush them off when it does come to mind in passing. whether it’s the alcohol entering your system or the fact that you’re reading the tabloids as to how so many of your loyal customers are expectant of your valentine’s product line, you simply knew that your emotions are running your mind.
not an ounce of logic is with you right now. quite the rare sight, would be sae’s opinion if he were there.
four hours turned to five and sae’s yet to respond to your desperate text. by now, you’ve downed at least half of the newly opened bottle and finally allowed a few beads of tears slip down. not enough to bawl your heart out, but to allow your vision to clear up a bit as it already pooled to the limit.
itoshi sae had no idea you’re going through such a rough patch in the three weeks he’s gone. supposedly, it was only for three days to settle his passport back in japan, but the blue lock project certainly caught his attention and had him cancelling his flight. he informed you of the changes and the reason to do so, and you were completely fine with it.
if anything, you hoped it would help your boyfriend somehow mend his messy relationship with his brother, and you were fully supportive of the notion. no one could have expected this, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault at all.
three weeks passed by so fast that the tear-stained baby that was you didn’t even notice that tonight was his flight back home. you heard keys faintly jiggling from the other side of the wooden door, sniffing as you figured it’s just another neighbor mistaking your home for theirs.
“ya llegué,” i’m home.
sae didn’t know what to feel the moment he sees your disheartened figure sitting on a stool by the bar counter, but the moment he hears your sobs, he dropped his bags down the floor and hurriedly walked to your side.
“what’s wrong, mi vida?” he asks gently, taking you in his arms upon instinct. the stool complied as it twists you around to face him, allowing you to finally go full-on sobbing on his chest. the sound of your wails brought a crack to his heart with every cry, and sae could only wish he’d endure the pain in your stead.
in the three years you’ve been together, sae had only seen you break down twice. the first wasn’t even meant to be a breakdown if it weren’t for him encouraging you to be more honest with him. the second was a little more intentional, surrendering to the fact that you’re in need of comfort amidst a lonely year.
this time, however, he doesn’t know what plagues your mind enough to start talking. instead, he placed a hand at the back of your head to soothe your scalp while the other ran itself up and down your back. he silently stood there and let you release all of your pent-up frustrations until you’re capable of speaking again.
“w-why are you here so soon?” you snap back to reality after a few minutes, lunging back straight to wipe the remaining tears in your bloodshot eyes. “don’t you have that match against blue lock? it isn’t til the 25th, right?”
“it’s already the 26th, cariño.” sae cups your cheek with one hand, wiping away a stray tear with his gentle thumb. he hates seeing you like this. one moment you’re completely out of your wits, then the next is your body returning to its natural programming like you didn’t just feel human enough to express emotions. sometimes, he wonders if you look at him the same. with how he’s cut off from his feelings most of the time and how he’s yet to actually go through a breakdown within your presence, maybe it’s a little hypocritical of him to wonder.
“the 26th? oh, god! i need to email the suppliers for next week’s shipment!” you were about to hop off the stool when sae stopped you and kept you planted down. “sae, mi amor, i’m glad you’re home. i just—“
“this isn’t just about me stepping foot in this house five minutes ago, mi vida.” he takes your chin between his fingers, fixating your gaze at his teal-hued eyes. “you’re overworking, and i’m yet to understand why you’re crying.”
“but—“
“please, take a small break.” he leans his forehead down to yours, hoping for you to receive his sincerity. “stay in the living room for me, mi vida. i’ll make us some tea to relax.”
you took a glance at the clock, realizing it’s already past midnight. sae must be tired from his trip, and yet he carried you down the sofa so effortlessly before heading back to the kitchen to make tea. you turned to watch him from the living room, noticing how he glared at the half-empty wine bottle and the wine glass you were about to finish. he swiftly drank the rest of it in one go, muttering how it does taste good and he now understands why you kept drinking it.
he brewed, he cleaned, and he sat down with you like how a therapist would approach their patient. you didn’t know if it was the alcohol kicking in again, but you can feel tears brimming your eyes as you realized just how much he cares for you.
“god, i’m so stupid.” you mutter, hiding your face in your palms.
“what did we talk about?” sae sighed, pulling you against his chest once again.
you flinched. “don’t berate ourselves…”
he nods, then takes your hand in his. with a swift motion, he intertwined your fingers and planted a kiss at the back of your palm.
“what’s going on, mi vida?”
and so, you talked about the entire process that led to your ugly breakdown. how you hate the silence that comes after a long day and the realization that sae’s someplace else. how it hits you like a ton of bricks when you read the tabloids that a lot of people are expectant of your creations. how both worlds somehow collided when you read the morning newspaper with yet another scoop on how sae may be dating behind your back, and how sae was conquering the world out there and you’re stuck in spain to chase after your own golden egg.
“i’m sorry. i was just feeling a little sensitive, so the sadness grabbed the chance to use it against me.” you joked, chuckling awkwardly as you now played with his fingers out of anxiousness. “i’m not usually like this. please don’t take this seriously. you don’t need to worry about me whenever you leave—“
sae must have been annoyed by how you’re suddenly patching up your scarlet wounds with useless bandaids because he shut you up right away with a slow and passionate kiss. he was never good with words, and his progress is quite slow, but he knows that the best way for him to communicate with you is through his actions.
the kiss was no mere act of affection that night. it was an assurance, a promise telling her that he will take care of her no matter how messy she can get. that he will be more attentive to her feelings, especially when he’s away.
“you act too tough sometimes,” he whispered against your lips, “you don’t have to be like that with me. i’m here now, mi vida.”
that was all you needed to hear to finally get a proper rest. sae didn’t stop you from dozing off after you both finished your tea, carrying you back in your shared room after a long day. as he laid beside you, he watched in earnest how your nose would scrunch in your sleep. how you resemble a baby and how he wishes for your future children to look more like you one day.
“te amo, mi vida.” i love you, my life.
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booigi-boi · 1 day ago
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How my video chat with the Tin Can Bros went 🐐💛
I got to talk to the three of them separately with a special guest (James and Mariah) so I'll put this into three sections (writing this down mostly for my awful memory, gonna be long)
Brian and James
First thing Brian said when the call started was "have you gotten any new tattoos since the last time we saw you?" A: No :(
He and James asked about Finland and what it is like
I was asked something about what is my fav thing about Finland (minus sauna) and I said the nature. I told them to visit northern Finland both during summer and winter cause the nature is fucking amazing, ok? They googled it and James said he's putting it on his list, lol
Brian asked while googling if I've ever been to the Snow Castle in Kemi, and I laughed a little and said I was actually born there so yeah, I've been there multiple times
I was also asked if there's something I'd like the rest of the world to know about Finland
I answered how I hate how other countries have turned saunas into a luxury item, when in Finland literally every house and apartment building has a sauna. Also told them the correct way to pronounce sauna
James asked me how I learned about TCB. Said I discovered SK in mid 2018 and somehow figured TCB was also a thing. He also asked how I got into Shipwrecked, and to that I just said Spies Are Forever. Brian nodded and said "they're cool"
(Honestly, I'm leaving so much out cause we really just talked about my country and how happy it is, lol)
Corey and Mariah
Brian and James left for another call once Corey and Mariah joined (I didn't expect them to do this call like this tbh /neutral)
Mariah was excited about the fact I'm Finnish, she was enjoying meeting people all over the world
Corey asked if I had any questions for them and I had to admit I suck at asking questions and never know what to say (he was cool with my child brain)
Mariah said she had so many questions she would have liked to ask me. She really liked looking at the wall behind me and seeing all the shit I have on there
Then my cat decided she wanted attention and hopped on the table and made herself known to them. Told them she was Lotta and she's 14
After a while Corey asked me what my fav project from the Tinlightenment was, and I said I've been most excited for Gross Prophets. Corey revealed it's going to be difficult to rehears it without an audience and it's apparently super silly (in a good way)
Before they left Mariah asked me what was my fav movie or musical or anything so she could get to know what I'm all about, so I excitedly told her about Tetsuo the Iron Man (more about this later)
Then Joey joined all alone and it was time for Corey and Mariah to leave
Joey
Joey didn't have a guest with him so it was just me and him on a call together. He complimented my long ass vampire nails
He heard us talking about movies and asked me about it, so I said how Mariah asked me about my fav movie
He got a little excited and asked me about it, so I told him about Tetsuo, and how it's one of those movies that you're either going to love cause how artistic it is, or say wtf did I just watch
He got intrigued and googled it and read its description. He was interested (pls google it)
He read reviews and said how it's either 5 stars or 1 star, and I told him it is very 50/50
He put it on his list and promised to tell me once he had watched it :3 (hopefully not on discord cause I don't use it, lol)
Then before time was up, he asked me about my hospital stay last year (which I didn't talk about publicly and he was one of the few people that knew about it). It was kinda nice of him to ask about it and ask if I was good now (I am)
One last thing he asked about before he had to leave was if I was going to the new Starkid concert this year, and I said no, unfortunately. Maybe he was little saddened about it, but he told me last year wasn't that long ago and we might see each other again at some point
Then he wished me a good rest of the day and told me we'd see each other soon (next month when I again embarrass myself in Quiplash)
One last note, but I was kinda surprised how Joey didn't apologise to me for the 100th time for something he promised me back in 2023 and still hasn't done it, especially since he seems to apologise about it any time we have an interaction, lol (but I'll talk about it more when that happens, shhh)
Sorry if it was all so long, but I did leave out stuff too, sksks. Honestly, I kinda needed this, it was nice talking to people and they're all so easy to talk to 💞 James and Mariah were a nice surprise, can't wait for Gross Prophets 👉👈
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duchessonfire · 3 days ago
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Savior Carl!AU re-read Part 2 Chapter 6
Follow-up of my re-read of Part 2 Chapter 5. If you're not interested and don't want to have your dashboard spammed, you can block the tags Duchess reads and Savior Carl AU reread.
Commentary for Part 2, Ch 6 below the cut (spoilers for part 2 ahead):
Work has officially started again and I'm swamped so I'm only getting back into this re-reading now. (Btw, I'm currently listening to "toxic till the end" by Rosé and my god it's so Savior!AU Cegan... Same for "number one girl" from her Rosie album)
So, chapter 6, the beginning of the heatwave. This is so funny because I still remember writing part 2 and being like, okay I have 2 more chapters and the Claimers plot is done, so what can I do to shake things up at Sanctuary? And at the time I was teaching a class on the short story "Roman Fever" by Edith Wharton and I was explaining to my students the whole stereotypes about southern Europe from the povs of characters from England or the north-eastern coast of America, how the warmer climate is associated with looser morals, promiscuity, how people used to cold climates start to act a bit erratically when it's too hot and they let go of some of their inhibitions. And as I was preparing for this class, I was like... wait a minute... *lightbulb moment*
Anyway, this is how the idea of the heatwave came about and it's crazy that it is still ongoing in part 3, but at the same time it feels very fitting. Right when Negan has decided he's going to be a good man and keep things platonic with Carl, I turned the oven on and blasted them with heat :)))) No regret.
This chapter is very much a pivotal moment in the story because a lot hinges on it. In the previous chapter, Negan showed Carl a surprisingly human and compassionate side of his personality, but everything that has been happening since the start of part 2 (the increasingly erotic tension between them, Negan's cruelty) is still there.
In the Savior!AU, it's very important to me that Negan never becomes too nice. I have nothing against fluff or nice!Negan (in fact, I'm currently writing the fluffiest, nicest Negan ever in my Strawberry Mama Cegan fic), but I started writing the Savior!AU back in 2021 because there was a lack of Cegan fics where Negan was still the sadistic, cruel leader from the canon. Back then, there was a plethora of fics where Carl was sexually abused by Shane, or assaulted by the Claimers, and Negan was the only one who understood/rescued Carl, as well as a lot of fics where Negan immediately became protective of Carl and put him above everyone else right after meeting him, basically 'love at first sight' fics. As much as I enjoyed those stories, I was chagrined at how few fics there were where Negan was still Negan, still cruel and sadistic and egotistical, even when he clearly favored Carl over everyone else (a great example of this, and to me still one of the best Cegan fics ever written, is Wildflowers by Gemjam).
So, to me, this what the Savior!AU is and should always be: a story where Carl and Negan fall in love, yes, but where Negan is still Negan, still monstrous and power-hungry just as much as he's loving and protective, and this is in fact is the main obstacle of their relationship: that Negan's cruelty and thirst for power will always get in the way for as long as he's the leader of the Saviors.
This is why it's so important to me to keep all those moments when Negan is canonically cruel and ruthless. And this chapter has a big one with Mark getting his face ironed off.
Carl is so absorbed by him, by his sheer presence, that it takes him a second to notice that Negan is inspecting him right back, unmoving from his spot by the stairway. His gaze trails along where Carl is slumped against the wall, from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, slowly, down and then up again, and there is nothing concealed about it, his appraisal plainly obvious. His lips are slightly parted, letting Carl glimpse at his pink tongue, the tip caught between his teeth. He can’t feel hotter than he already does, but the rolling knots in his stomach are both new and familiar. He’s reminded of that time in the parking lot, of Negan’s susurrating voice making him feel like he was on a rollercoaster. When their eyes meet, Negan’s hand tightens briefly around Lucille’s handle, before going lax again. He moves forward and Carl knows he should straighten up, knows he should kneel, but he does neither. Instead, he stays right where he is, never taking his eyes off of Negan as he gets inexorably closer, his footsteps an ominous toll that sends Carl’s heart careening inside his chest. Negan stops right in front of him, the tips of his boots grazing Carl’s own. His gelled hair is curling at the temples and his skin is shiny under his salt and pepper beard, a sheen of perspiration covering the bow of his upper lip and the slight curve at the top of his chin. Negan makes a low sound, between a laugh and a sigh, and Carl’s eye follows the movement of his lips with rapt fascination when he speaks. “Pheew,” he breathes out, sending an exhale of peppermint-sweet air in Carl’s face. “Even in here, it’s hotter than the devil’s asscrack.” Then, unexpectedly, he asks, “Wanna hold her for me?”
There is SO MUCH happening here. Carl and Negan looking at each other and lusting after each other openly (the first time in the fic that it's mutual and not just one-sided), Negan's flex of the hand that shows he's barely restraining himself from grabbing Carl, Carl knowing he should kneel but staying standing because he's becoming aware of the fact that the rules don't apply when it's just him and Negan away from everyone else, Negan asking Carl to hold Lucille (the symbol of his battered heart and erect cock intertwined and wrapped in barbed wire) while he goes to have sex with someone else, so basically asking Carl to hold his heart while he fucks one of the wives...
Negan smirks, teeth flashing, and Carl should know better than to think he can hide the effect Negan has on him. “Thanks. Things might get a lil’ loud in there. Just a heads-up,” he winks. Carl swallows, hard. He is pretty sure the sweat rolling down his face must be sizzling, puffs of steam coming out from his every pore. As if on cue, he feels a plump drop of perspiration trail from his temple, along his chin and down his Adam's apple, before pooling in the hollow of his collarbone. Negan’s gaze, previously light and playful, turns dark and riveted as he gives Carl’s face a long once-over, slowly going down from his sweaty brow to his flushed cheeks and lips before settling on his neck, just above the soaked collar of his t-shirt. His gray eyes stay there for long seconds, transfixed, before Negan suddenly blinks, gaze flicking to the ceiling as he mutters under a raspy breath, “Je-sus.” Carl doesn’t have time to fully grasp what just happened that Negan is already moving, disappearing inside the wives’ apartment with a sharp exhale and a shake of his head. His warm and spicy scent lingers in the air around Carl, thick and heady.
This is one of my favorite moments in this chapter because it's really difficult to write a longing/erotic scene where in fact nothing is happening, especially when I have to tread the line of Carl's pov, of him still being mostly innocent and unaware of what Negan wants to do to him, while at the same time knowing it (as shown in the dirty dream that Carl has right after this moment).
I'm not going to quote the dirty dream, but I did want to have Carl explore his sexual attraction to Negan on his own before any smut happened between them. It felt important to me that Carl had at least some time to accept that he's sexually attracted to Negan, that this anticipation builds, before anything happened. A boy doesn't go from being sexually repressed for four years to jumping into bed with a man 3x his age out of nowhere. (Btw, Carl masturbating while thinking of Negan was inspired by this awesome fic Secret Handshake by Gonfalonier) (I'm realizing now that these re-read posts could also be a great place to rec some Cegan fics. If you like them, do show them some love!)
Now, the beer scene. Not gonna lie, I still have no idea where the inspiration for this one came from but I am SO PROUD of it. It's just the most devious interrogation technique. Negan knows very well what he's doing, that Carl probably never had a drink in his entire life, that he will be affected by the alcohol, less able to think and lie, all of this without touching a single hair on Carl's head.
And of course at the end of the scene is this awesome moment that will haunt Carl again and again:
He keeps his tone casual, but Carl doesn’t miss the dangerous edge in his voice when he asks, “And since when do you take orders from pretty boy Mark?” He opens his mouth but before he can answer, Negan snaps, “Drink.” The bottle is more than half-empty, its taste milder than before, hints of sweetness coating his tongue underneath all the earthy tanginess. It takes Carl a second to remember the question he was asked. “I don’t. I just… I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” The crow’s feet around Negan’s eyes mellow for a brief instant, his expression turning understanding. But it only lasts just that, an instant, before anger takes over once more. He leans forward, towering with all of his height over Carl. His lips brush against Carl’s ear, but there is nothing seductive about it. It’s a warning, plain and simple. “Don’t be soft, it doesn’t fuckin’ suit you,” Negan growls.
It's not just the lie that bothers Negan, but the fact that Carl lied to protect *Mark*, young and fit Mark, who's already charming the pants off Amber and now Carl too. This is the first time that Negan is jealous of another man that Carl interacted with since Shane. After Carl killed Shane, Negan thought all the competition had been eliminated, that he was finally the only man in Carl's orbit, but now he realizes that it's not necessarily true.
The line "don't be soft" especially will come back in part 3 because Carl will never be able to forget it. Negan sees that Carl's lie was not done out of love for Mark but compassion, that Carl has a good heart, and of course it's something that Negan appreciates and admires, but at the same time, it's also something that deeply frightens Negan. Negan associates softness with weakness and, as his talk with Gabriel in the "Big Scary U" episode highlights, he is intent on eradicating weakness: the weakness that made him afraid of killing walkers in the "Here's Negan" flashback episode, the weakness that made him forget to turn the generator back on because he was afraid it would attract walkers and which led to Lucille's medication be ruined, the weakness that let him be captured by the Valaks Vipers biker gang, the weakness that made Lucille kill herself rather than fight cancer... Like Shane, Negan is desperate to turn Carl into a hardened and ruthless killer because they both think it's the only way Carl can survive: by being as merciless and cold as they are, because Negan and Shane have seen too many good and soft people die horrible deaths and they'll be damned if they let this happen to Carl. Negan, like Shane, knows that the real danger is not the walkers or other people, but it's yourself, your own kindness and morals and empathy. Those are the things that get you killed. It's tragic that so much of Shane and Negan's abuse toward Carl is driven by fierce protectiveness and absolute terror at the thought of anything happening to Carl.
This post is far too long already so I'll wrap it up with two scenes: the conversation between Carl and Dwight after Negan left the room, and Negan ironing Mark's face off.
I can't remember if I've said this before but the relationship between Carl and Dwight was really unexpected. I never planned on them bonding but, as I wrote the story and re-watched the episodes about Dwight from canon, it just seemed natural considering all the similarities between them: the disfigured face, the fact that they started as Negan's enemies, that their blind loyalty and devotion to Negan is underpinned by seditious rebellion (Dwight because he let Sherry get away and Carl because he freed Rosita). Dwight often acts as a sort of moral bell tolling for Carl. He's the one reminding Carl of the harsh reality of Sanctuary, of who Negan is. And for all that Carl likes to forget, he has to acknowledge that Dwight is right about everything. There will never be peace at Sanctuary, not in the long term, because Negan's Sanctuary is the product of his grief and anger and desire for revenge after the death of Lucille. The very inception of the place stemmed from the worst parts of Negan, and no matter how much Negan rationalizes it, no matter how many rules he creates to justify Sanctuary's relevance, it will never be freed of the ghosts that haunt it, of the blood and bones it was built on.
I know I talk a lot about the significance of Lucille the bat (Negan's heart and dick wrapped in barbed wire, the most vulnerable symbol of his past turned into his most brutal weapon) but I think Sanctuary holds the same place as an embodiment of the best and worst parts of Negan: the name itself promises refuge, peace, shelter and security, but Negan has fostered an atmosphere of ruthless violence and competition inside it, has kept the workers subdued and turned the Saviors into a feral pack of dogs lashing out against everything and everyone. Like Lucille, Negan's Sanctuary is fenced and weaponized, its boundaries covered in walkers to keep everyone at bay. There's little humanity in Sanctuary, like there's little humanity left in Negan. It's there, but it's faint and it's kept fenced in, tucked away inside an impenetrable fortress. It never ceases to amaze me that with all the resources at his disposal, Negan could have made Sanctuary a place worthy of the name. It's clear he knows how to make a place attractive (his room is glorious in a bachelor pad kind of way, and so are the harem and the room meant for Daryl). But he doesn't. Instead he keeps the factory gloomy and frightening. Because the Sanctuary, like Lucille, was created out of grief and fury. Negan doesn't want to make it hospitable. He wants it to be a punishment on himself and everyone around him.
I'll finish with this glorious line, which encompasses Negan's jealousy, his pettiness, and his reflex to lash out at the people he cares about because he's still, deep down, a wounded animal snapping at everyone who tries to help him:
“Since you like cleaning up after Mark so much, get a mop. Your boy made a mess,” Negan sneers before brushing past him.
Conclusion; tldr: This fic is an oven and I'm turning the temp all the way up. Carl and Negan are terribly horny for each other, but it's all part of the cooking process. Negan is marinating Carl in beer. Carl is having a dreadful time remembering that the man he jerks off to is still a monster. Negan is the most tragic character ever and the Sanctuary is basically the haunted manor in a Gothic Victorian story. Only one chapter left for part 2.
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chamerionwrites · 2 days ago
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There are a number of specific personal anecdotes I could cite here. But many years later, the one that (sort of ironically given how it ultimately turned out) hacks me off the most is this:
In college, walking in a park at dusk, with my friend and his two roommates (all dudes). We came over a hill, heard a yelp, and silhouetted against the fading sunset we saw the shadow of a large man throwing what was clearly a much smaller woman to the ground.
My friend and I sprinted down the hill, shouting and clenching our fists, fully prepared to try to fuck this guy up. It’s at this point that I should probably mention that in college I was all of 130 pounds (at 5’9”). My friend Mike was a little Filipino guy several inches shorter than me; I quite possibly outweighed him. (Also he happens to be gay, which is not an indicator of somebody’s prowess in a fight, but you know. Plenty of people sure think that it is.)
This story has a happier and more anticlimactic ending than it may initially appear, because as it turned out this was a guy and his girlfriend goofing around and we jumped to the worst conclusions because it was dark and nobody else was around. She thought the whole thing was hilarious. He was extremely red in the face, but also kind of sheepishly grateful to us for intervening. A minute later Mike’s roommates came down the hill, also looking sheepish and a little wary, and everything was explained and no harm was done.
Afterward one of the roommates playfully took me to task for it. What did I think I was going to do, against this guy who was twice my size? I told him I didn’t really have time to think about it, I just reacted, but I wasn’t going to do nothing. “So you started a fight that I would have had to finish,” he told me. Still playfully, but I thought I could sense some real frustration there. “I’m the one who would have had to intervene, to keep you from getting your ass kicked.”
Like I said he was being playful, and at the time I didn’t react as strongly as I wish I had in hindsight. But the older I’ve gotten and the more I���ve thought about that situation, the angrier I’ve become. I signed him up for a fight? He and the other roommate were the ones waffling at the top of the hill. There were four of us and one of the other guy, and he hung back like a coward, and then he tried to frame that as a failure on my part instead of a failure on his.
This is what I always think about, when I hear that kind of who-will-protect-you-if-not-for-traditionally-masculine-men whining. As a person who tends to get along pretty well with men, whose most beloved and admired friends are and always have been mostly men, who frankly has always had a bit of trouble making friends with women and fitting into women-only spaces (and there is A LOT to be said about the whys of this, much of it about toxic femininity and women as enforcers of misogyny and the gendered violence they will aim at other women who don’t Do Gender correctly - so don’t clown in my notes)….I have enormous respect and admiration for my male friends! I get as annoyed as anyone when people are unnecessarily shitty to or about men.
But also, I’m gonna be real with you guys. When the chips are down far too many of you - white straight cis men especially - are abject self-centered cowards who will not raise a finger to defend anyone more vulnerable than yourselves. Who actively loathe vulnerability, in fact, because you have been taught to have zero compassion for it in either others or (tragically) yourself. Who would not last even a single day in the shoes of the women and queer people that you secretly or not-so-secretly consider soft.
Possibly THE most obnoxious misogynist talking point to me personally is the whining about how only a good guy with a gun patriarchal masculinity can stop a bad guy with a gun patriarchal masculinity, so you stupid women had better stop shit-talking men (complaining about misogyny) because who will protect you otherwise?
Uh, statistically? Not you.
Anecdotally, in 9 out of 10 cases the person who intervenes when a man is being violent/threatening/creepy/etc is a woman or a queer dude, so. Also not you.
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humming-fly · 2 months ago
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I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever
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locusfandomtime · 2 months ago
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you can really tell the different audience demographics of Lifesteal vs Hermitcraft by the comment sections because the average spokeishere or whatever comment is like “LIKE THIS if you are a real Spoke fan!!! ❤️👊😎 if this comment gets 100 LIKES ill tell my mom to subscribe 🤪 who else is watching in 2028❓❓😂” whilst the average ethoslab comment is like “my wife is giving birth but this is more important”
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skarkkk · 2 months ago
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It was fucking rape. That's my fucking point of view.
What do you mean he liked it? What do you mean it was cheating? What do you mean I like her?
It was rape, there is no other interpretation other than rape.
Robby lived with two addicts and yet he was abandoned in a bar with free access to alcohol, and that's where it started.
He got drunk for the first time, he drank for the first time and he has no resistance to alcohol because he stays away as best he can for the simple fact that his parents were addicts who never cared about him. So he wanted to forget what was happening, to repress all of this and he turned to alcohol because where else would he go when everyone didn't give a damn about him, or his situation with Tory or his emotions? Where else was he supposed to go when his example of dealing with emotions is aggression and addiction? So he drank. He drank to a level where he couldn't formulate a response, a sentence, when Kwon came to talk to him and provoke him, and we know that if he was sober he would have done something. It was obvious on his own face listening to Kwon that he was spaced out, drunk, and then Zara approached him. And took him to her room, from where he came out the next morning. No memory of the night before, a headache, and still looking out of it, as we can see when she kissed him and he didn't even react to it. The level of alcohol this requires is the level of alcohol that prevents someone from giving consent.
— I barely remember last night
— Good thing I do
Can we see the exact connotation that something happened? That she actually took advantage of the boy who couldn't speak to give consent, who couldn't think to say no, who was too drunk for this to be acceptable? The fact that she shows no remorse whatsoever for this happening and yet kisses him again.
Besides the fact that the writers themselves are treating it like it's some kind of cheating with Tory, the characters themselves acting like he's not a vulnerable person being raped by someone who knows better?
I hate her and I hate the writers for making this like it's nothing. I don't want to be that girl, but being that girl, if the roles were reversed, would this be in the show? Would this be treated that way? Or would they actually treat it like the SA situation that it is?
From the beginning, you can see her interest in Robby - starting with that scene in the captains' photo shoot where she talks to Tory. She knows he's in a relationship. All those teasing scenes with Tory. Her taking advantage of Robby. Then the fight scene.
— You chose her over me?
Like, girl, what the fuck did you expect? He doesn't know you, he doesn't like you, you raped him and you're going after his girlfriend - the person he loves? How high is your ego to even consider that he would choose you? Axel's obsession with Sam I can understand more, although I still have my doubts. She was the first person to understand and see his situation with his sensei, she was friendly and he developed a protectiveness towards her. Although his attitude towards Miguel was wrong, he didn't rape Sam or act like a bitch towards her.
Iron Dragons and their obsession with the Miyagi-Do captains.
Zara Malik and the fact that she raped Robby Keene.
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plotthotrobin · 10 hours ago
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It wasn’t something that occurred to him at the beginning. So much had happened in Byleth’s first year of life - and after he managed to get this little, silent infant out of the direct gaze of the archbishop, he tried not to think about anything relating to his past life at Garreg Mach. The keyword is tried. On days where he failed, he’d drink until his brain couldn’t function anymore.
I mean, sure, he knew that his lifespan was too long. He’d honestly stopped counting somewhere in his eighties, but he still knew it was incredibly unnatural for him to still be alive to walk the roads of Fódlan. Then again, there wasn’t much in his life that wasn’t unnatural in some way - and, with that, comes an odd sense of normalcy in the abnormal. It seemed to him that Byleth hadn’t truly noticed or found it odd - either that, or they just didn’t feel the need to broach the topic. Regardless of which one it was, it didn’t matter to Jeralt.
The reality never truly sank in until he joined an old mercenary friend of his for drinks one night. She made the inevitable comment about how well he had aged, but what he didn’t expect was the follow up comment about Byleth, who was just on the verge of adulthood at the time.
“Keep up whatever miracle routine you’re doing, Jeralt,” She hummed around the rim of her tankard as she took a swig, then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before continuing, “At this rate, you and the kid will look like siblings.”
It was an unwelcome, uncomfortable, and nauseating realization. He had been so focused on the present, on keeping them both safe and alive, that he hadn’t thought much about the future. Byleth was growing older, and he wasn’t. He got drunk that night.
This fact haunted him on the daily from that moment on. It’s normal for a parent to want to rewind the clock to when their child is young again, but only a handful of them had to face the reality that they’d have to bury their own child.
It’s after their return to the monastery that Jeralt gradually begins to accept it, and he shifts gears. Byleth had always had a striking resemblance to Sitri, but it stuck out like a sore thumb when seeing them tending to the same things in the same place that their mother once used to. The one thing he had wanted for Sitri above all else was her happiness - he would go get her favorite flowers and tell her all the stories she desired until she had fallen asleep in his arms with the most beautiful smile on that pretty face.
As much as he distrusts Rhea and her plans, teaching the little brats seemed to change Byleth for the better. Their emotions started to really shine, something that left Jeralt in absolute awe. Perhaps he really had spent far too long focused on survival, and not enough on their happiness. He couldn’t change the past, but maybe he could try a different approach going forward. He would outlive Byleth, but he would do his absolute damndest to make those years the happiest he possibly could.
It’s ironic, really, that he died just after he had come to terms with everything - and even more so that not long after, through circumstances of their own, Byleth stopped aging.
so like do you ever think Jeralt realized he’d likely outlive Byleth
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