#and it’s sad he dies of COURSE but it’s not a tragedy. not to me. he loved the whole world. he smiled before he died.

[betweenthescarletmoon]

hello fellow mutual from tiktok!!! I am so happy to see you put your thoughts here, i feel it was much harder for us to discuss jayce over there!

I agree with everything you said. A fourth act would've worked wonders for Every Character, not just him. And it does anger me so much that Jayce wasn't seen nor Written as a profound character because of s1. I wish i could have a talk with Christopher Linke about this

The idea that people can only like characters because they're attractive to lessen the load of digesting media is imo most likely the Editing Effect of inatagram and tiktok. It pains me to say but i do wonder if arcane came out by the time we as a generation watched AMVs and 7min edits on youtube instead (or at least i did). Maybe then people would have more profound thoughts on all the characters, including Vi, Jinx, Silco, Mel. And i am glad we can discuss things more over here, but it's still not as common to discuss and analyze as it used to be either.

You've mentioned one of my biggest gripes with fandom interpretation in the cave, WHO would debate bisexuality when they have nothing left but the crumbling inner workings of their mind, building the last comfort it can?? Thank you, i really like the idea that he also found himself resenting them, that is actually a much closer observation to how he Looks at them. I truly like that transition from his tears (which represent his old, vulnerable, sweet self) to that colder bitterness that guides him for the rest of the season (until we get the ending, which from a character narrative standpoint, doesn't make sense to me tbh).

Here's the thing, I've also placed myself in the difficult position of liking those thirst edits, saving them in a folder called "thirst traps" to keep them apart from my Real Jayce Folder, laughing at some of the "why trauma jayce kinda" and the like...while also deep down just feeling so empty and sad about it but feeling like there was nothing i could do about it? I don't wanna be dramatic but it Felt isolating. And maybe it does make me a hypocrite! Conformity and yadda yadda, but i cannot imagine that Jayce was designed to not be hot. I believe that was fully intentional, but i also thought that they were prioritizing his character. When i first saw act 2, i didn't know his agency would be obliterated and his arc ripped from his hands to place it solely on Viktor's. So now it feels even worse, that That is what the writers used him for too. And people are completely fine with it! They're so happy about the soulmates.

Your observations about him not stopping and being stuck in survival mode bring me clarity fr. He's never truly been a man about rest, was he? Perhaps that was his main trauma response all along, sacrificing sleep and Academy grades to get Hextech running, almost killing himself the moment he felt he lost it. Of course he'd do that at a more extreme level, but because act 3 doesn't rest or let the story breathe, i frankly didn't interpret it as that, it just felt like he conveniently stopped being mentally ill to give a speech and fight the war 😂 if he survived, he probably wouldn't have stopped, because stopping meant that PTSD would rear its ugly head. But the tragedy of it all Was that he died. Saving the world yes, but it feels so empty and cruel that he suffered so much just to die. No real accomplishment or meaning, just him serving the narrative and saving Viktor.

PS : i adore viktor i really do but it's getting hard not to resent him bc of what the writers did to butcher him, and how they stripped jayce of everything he was outside of him. I still love him! I promise!

And mutual! If you wanna keep talking in DMs you are welcome to!!

Random Thoughts on the Arcane Fandom about Jayce

this is gonna be a mess but I have nowhere else to talk about this.

I've recently noticed how Jayce Talis has been subjected to all kinds of sexualization since the drop of Act 2 of the second season. People have mentioned many times how trauma has made him "hot". A good and well-known example of this is Danny Motta's reaction to episode 5, where he said, "Holy shit, they made Jayce hot! [...] My dude went from looking like a Muppet to the king of Rohan, and all it took was a little bit of trauma."

This isn't entirely new for him? If people didn't hate Jayce back in S1, they ogled him in the scene where he works on the Forge shirtless, which IS kinda the point because the animators are making him very obviously attractive. But most importantly, he as a character has been reduced to his sexual or romantic relationships since the beginning of time.

It seems that S2 is a response to this in a way. His arc from the ending of S1, where he took responsibility of his actions out of guilt for the child he killed, was slightly set aside for Viktor. Well, ALL of his life, dreams, decisions, everything about him was eclipsed by Viktor's shadow because of the whole "all times, all possibilities" twist. He wasn't expected to show up as a Councilor in any of the meetings, and we must assume he quits at some point, but he surely hasn't resigned from his position by the time Viktor wakes up. Apart from that much needed scene between him and Cait, and the one where he attends the memorial (and is attacked by a vengeful mother), we don't see many of his decisions or what leads him to make them, other than Viktor. This is beautiful in a way because we can SEE how it is a trauma response to losing him. He is obsessive by nature, and he clings to what keeps him and his loved ones safe excessively, but I still had to do a bit of mental gymnastics as to why he went back on the second promise: to not build Hextech weapons again. (Hint: it has to do with the fact that VI saved him with HIS weapon, but it went so fast it's hard to process in the first watch.)

Now back to the sexualization problem. Every time I look up his name and trauma, or PTSD, 95% of the results are thirst edits on Tiktok about how hot he is. No joke. One of the more serious results is my own edit. Of course, a lot of people connect with his suffering without naming it as trauma, and that is great. My concern is that there has been so much focus on Jinx's trauma, Viktor's trauma, even Silco's trauma (which are all valid and fascinating to explore), but there's less attention for other characters who clearly show how their own traumatic experiences has shaped them. Vi, Caitlyn, and Jayce are some of the clearest examples of this, and they've experienced some truly heinous things in the show. Trauma cannot be compared, ever. But why is it that Jayce, who lived through an apocalypse that HE knows HE caused, and lives in complete isolation except the "company" of metal watchers, to the point that he loses touch with reality, and is changed so irrevocably that he loses the naivety and starry-eyed optimism that has always defined him...is seen as hot? And more importantly, why is it that there is very little attention to his experiences on that cave? Every scene between him and Viktor is uploaded in 1080 HD quality, but the scenes of him alone? Fighting to survive? Showing remarkable resilience in the face of his suffering? No, that's not as fun. Not a single one of those scenes is uploaded fully, and I have checked many times. (Some people have actually skipped those scenes to focus on Timebomb. I'm...)

I went online and looked up "why do people sexualize traumatized characters" because let's face it, it's real, it's interesting, and I cannot judge or else I am a hypocrite. Bucky Barnes, Loki, Ellie Williams, Dean Winchester, Vi herself, the list goes on much longer but I can't think of others off the top of my head. We connect with their suffering, and we are pulled by their experiences.

However, Jayce is such a complicated case because he is usually thought of as the greedy himbo that fumbled two baddies, or the confused bisexual, or the guy who lost it because of a situationship (much like Vi, who DID NOT lose it because of a failed romantic endeavor bfr). And then the plot goes and tells us, "Actually, yeah, his life outside of Viktor doesn't matter, he's not even supposed to be alive, because Viktor saved him. All of time is completely inextricable from Viktor." People hate meljay because she manipulated him and "trapped" him in a relationship or something, only to celebrate it when something suspiciously similar happens with the male romantic interest? I initially thought it was beautiful too, bc Soulmates, but man. Mage!Viktor really left the man he loved to rot in complete isolation, eating raw reptiles until throwing up, losing his mind. Say what you want about the allegory for Viktor's life, at least Viktor's isolation was metaphorical up until the Glorious Evolution.

Despite us being shown this, people make thirst edits of him in his black fit, and fighting with sexual tension with Viktor. I fear...that I am the only one who finds this tragic. The man forced to create a larger than life persona to sell his work and be seen as an attractive pawn of the system, has become the attractive pawn of the narrative. Viktor's narrative.

Perhaps Viktor was forgotten by the world. But Jayce's kind heart, and brave soul, were forgotten by us.

Just some thoughts to chew about my favorite character and my wish that more people focused on his arc with me

[qpjianghu]

(...but what if I was?)

Li Lianhua / Li Xiangyi | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

[sophsicle]

okay, hold my drink *hands u cursed ancient goblet full of mead* i gotta talk my shit for a second.

ive been seeing a lot of severus snape love recently. and this is fine, obviously, y'all can love whomever you want. but. i need to rant or i will explode. if we're talking about canon. severus snape spends his adult years, seven books of it in fact, abusing children. and his excuse for this is the girl he loved (tho not enough not to join a group actively trying to exterminate her) fell for the hot jock instead of him (a tragedy indeed, i weep 4 him, i really do). and also she died, which, admittedly is very sad.

it is simply crazy 2 me 2 look at that and think *romance* or *genuine care and affection*. LIKE. fo real. snape calls her a slur in public, apologizes in private, hangs out with dudes who commit hate crimes against her friends (CANONICALLY, she says "you've been hanging out with that douchebag Mulciber, how could you do that after what he did to Mary???" this is not a direct quote but like, it's close enough). lame. loser behaviour.

"Oh but what about regulus" i can hear you say "he loves James potter but snape doesn't love lily???" well. idk. maybe. bit different tho, innit? due to james not being the demographic regulus is attacking (which doesn't make regulus a better person but does make the dynamic between him and james different). ALSO. Regulus chooses to turn against voldemort without hope for anything in return. snape doesn't seem to give a shit about voldemort, he's just sad he's not gonna get to bang lily evans. he switches sides for that reason alone. also doesn't care about what happens to her husband or her son which like. considering lily would be pretty fucking destroyed if they died. once again points to my whole, he doesn't really give a shit about her, theory. lame. loser. behaviour.

also. im sorry. I"M SORRY. but what snape does to neville? to hermione? to harry? gross. a grown ass man out here telling an eleven year old neville he's worthless or hermione she's ugly and annoying. or spilling harry's potion and refusing to grade him for it???????????????

reg and draco are children when we see them at peak suckage and therefore they feel like they can be redeemed much more compellingly (CAN be, not SHOULD be, not HAVE to be, just narratively i think they are easier to turn into interesting, sympathetic characters). but snape? snape grows up into a garbage adult. like he doesn't get better. and again, the only real excuse we're given is his obsession with lily. not very demure. not very cutesy.

ALSO. yall remember that time he got a destitute, struggling Remus Lupin fired from the best job he ever had just because he felt like it? remember that time snape weaponized Remus's lycanthropy and people's prejudice against him just cause. like. literally just cause??? his ego was bruised after the shrieking shack incident so he was like "get wrecked Lupin I'm going to tell everyone your secret so you will be forced back out onto the streets" DO YALL REMEMBER THAT BITCH ASS MOVE????????? THAT HE DID AS A FULL ADULT.

IN CONCLUSION, this is silly and, of course, like i said at the start, everyone can have their own thoughts and feelings about characters, but i simply needed to interject here on behalf of snape haters everywhere because i feel like so much of snape's shitty behaviour as an adult during a time when he was really under no duress and was very safe and cozy, is ignored. and my hater heart just cannot let that stand.

[vaguely-concerned]

I think there is no better illustration of the more intimate, internal angle veilguard chooses to approach its characters and themes with than the fact that like... listen in this game we get to follow so much pain back to its source, and we find it really does permeate everything in thedas today on a level that evokes a kind of cosmic horror. the bones of the earth itself are broken open and drenched in trauma; the world is mired in suffering down to the core and the marrow. as above, so below. as outside, so inside. on the big scale, and the small. all of creation is a throat gone to bloody shreds from screaming in agony, when you allow yourself to listen. (maybe that's why we usually don't, or can't, bring ourselves to listen.)

...and yet the thing that makes me personally so desperately gnaw-my-own-arm-off sad that it feels like I could die from it is that in a run where you save minrathous, lucanis never gets out from the ossuary in his mind. what's worse, no one even knows he's in there. he's still in there. and there is no rescue on the way, because he's locked down so deep inside himself this time that there's no way for anyone to even understand there's a need for it. would he be able to welcome one, if someone did realize it and tried to reach him? You know him -- you can open the door, but he won't walk through. He won't move. There's nowhere to go. the way he says 'it doesn't matter what I want' with such utter, leaden, final resignation in the wrecked treviso cutscene is going to haunt me forever. it makes perfect sense to me you can't romance him after that, I'm not sure he's ever really here completely in that version of events, at least within the timeline the game takes place. he's just standing in the shitty awful ossuary torture room all alone, and no one's coming to find him.

and what is that, next to the millennia of suffering screaming through all of history and creation? well. nothing, of course, not really. a single plucked string in an endless deafening symphony of despair. one singular trapped and broken soul among the untold millions that have gone before and the untold more that will surely come after, that are being made as we speak in the conflicts and tragedies unfolding through the game. but more importantly it's also everything. to me. and to the game too. the game says this also matters. just as much as anything else, this pain matters and deserves to be loved and comforted. even in the face of all the suffering in the world, beneath the systems perpetuating all the banalities of evil, for good or for ill sometimes, we matter to each other. and what would be the point of anything, if we didn't? that's where hope lives. as long as you're alive, the right key might still arrive to gently open the locks of your mind, the right hand might reach out one day and you will bring yourself to take it. you don't know what tomorrow's going to be. if in the meantime the only thing we have to gain in staying is each other -- isn't that enough? isn't that everything? why does this one guy saved mean the world saved to me, a little bit? hello. hello. hello. there's stuff going on in the deep here.

when I say that the deep thematic spine of this game is so good and solid that the occasional clumsiness and false tones of the writing on top of it simply cannot hurt me... I think this is part of what I mean. works for every single one of the characters of course! lucanis' is the predicament that speaks to me most viscerally. for. uh. personal reasons there simply is no time to get into at this juncture lol. but just as much the idea that davrin can die before he could see the world freed from the blight and the need for wardens, or that harding can get cut down right at the beginning of a great revelation that could change everything and heal things no one had even dreamed could be healed. all of them are like this. each and every one of us has a world and so many stories inside that matter, and it's not to dismiss the larger systemic forces and evils that create so much of the suffering in the world to focus in on that for one installment of the series -- only to view it from a different angle that brings other things to light than what we're looking for normally in this series. it's worth looking at what's actually here.

(have you ever heard the poem 'good light' by andrea gibson? it's very good. you should check it out if you haven't, you can find it on youtube. it has these lines:

Come make it count Our finding each other like we found God Come root for the salt Come believing we can heal it all, even everything Even everything that has ever been done I know how much the pain of this world weighs But I can still tip the scales in light's direction Whenever I have your name on my tongue

and yeah. I think that's basically what I'm trying to say here.)

[very-straight-blog]

It really tires me how some fans try to make Aegon look like an asshole who doesn't give a shit about anything. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character as such. Of course he cares, that's literally the essence of his personality. He cares. He and Aemond both feel too much emotion, but if Aemond sublimates into self–improvement, trying to be strong, cold and detached, then Aegon is literally an open wound. I want to talk about this, also using Tom's interviews (yes, I think the actor's opinion is valid in this matter) and the few scenes that we have in the first season.

We know that Aegon didn't want the throne and wasn't ready to rule. The scene with Alicent, who explains to him the prospects for the future of their family, seems very traumatic to me. Imagine what it's like to know from your childhood that the lives of people close to you depend on you, on how strong you'll be. Such a burden can destroy anyone. You can't just ignore it.

Next, we're shown how Aegon drinks on Driftmark. And that's a pretty sad sight - several cups in a row, wincing, as if taking a medicine that will help him to feel better.

Actually, I like the theory that he gets drunk after Aemond says that Helaena is his future queen. Another reminder that he'll have to marry his own sister, for whom he has no feelings. And he drinks because he tries to numb his pain.

The same goes for his obviously unhealthy attitude towards sex - he uses it to numb his loneliness. I believe that Aegon literally didn't have the opportunity to feel what love is in any form. His father disliked him and showed it openly. His mother loved him, but she never knew how to express it the way he needed to. He was married to his sister (the tragedy for both of them) and it was a matter of duty, not feelings. At the time of the first season, Aegon is deeply unhappy and this is obvious. I have every reason to believe that his need for physical intimacy is based on the fact that this is the only form of love he can receive. Considering that Aegon is quite smart, I even think that he himself understands how ugly this form is, but there's nothing he can do. During the act, I guess in some unhealthy way it really saves him from loneliness, longing and the need to be loved, but in the end it makes him even more unhappy.

Then it's impossible not to remember the eighth episode and the famous:

It's still clear that family is important to him. Yes, he feels like a stranger among his relatives, but it hurts him just because he cares. He cries and says "it will never be enough for you or father" because he wants it to be enough. He still loves them and wants them to love him back.

"What Aegon wants more than anything is to be told by his dad ‘I have faith in your capabilities as a young man. I see you bringing prosperity to King’s Landing.’ But he hasn’t said any of those things. His dad has completely ignored him, in fact, throughout his entire youth." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Esquire

Next, we can move on to episode nine and the fact that Aegon ran away. I've seen a lot of opinions that this is an indicator of selfishness and like...what? He was scared. This follows from the script:

He was scared, he'd never leave his family, much less Sunfyre. It was a decision made in a panic when he realized that his father had died and the moment he had feared all his life had come - he needed to accept the crown to protect his family.

During the conversation in the carriage, we see that Aegon was really hurt that his father didn't love him:

He even said "because he didn't like me" when talking about his father's attitude towards him. He didn't use the word "love" because it was obvious to him that his father didn't love him. He used the word "like", unknowingly emphasizing that he couldn't count on even simple sympathy.

He's also well aware that Viserys could have named him the heir, but didn't do so simply because he didn't want to and because of this, he - the eldest son, feels unworthy of the throne, and also completely lost.

When Alicent tells him that Viserys wanted to make him the heir before his death, an emotional dam breaks inside him, it's literally written in the script:

And at this moment, looking at the dagger, he's not even listening to Alicent, he's completely in his thoughts - maybe, at least for a second, his father cared about him. And when he asks his mother if she loves him, we see how much he craves love, how broken he really is, how important his family is to him.

I know this post is insanely long and I haven't even analyzed the various microexpressions in Tom's acting, but I'm really tired of people wanting to make Aegon something pure evil.

"I also see Aegon as being incredibly complex. He's not an out-and-out psychopath. I see a multilayered character that just has endless potential of pits of vulnerability and empathy and things that we don't see. I think it's his vulnerability that breeds the darkness. It's the way he copes, it's his security, it's his safety blanket, it's an addictive coping mechanism for him to shut things out and to be cold." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Entertainment Weekly

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 8 part 1

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

EPISODE EIGHT. fasten your seat belts, get ready for some turbulence, nobody panic. things are going to become fucking sad, but you're going to be okay. yay?

for a fleeting moment at the beginning of the episode you get the mad hope that alice survived - that rio is going to spare her, somehow

but the camera keeps spinning, keeps spinning, and we're upside down. this show is so good at evoking uncanny vibes with simple practical effects. not to mention the great callback to lilia flipping the room at the end of last episode. we are on the other side now, we're not in kansas anymore.

and this is of course rio collecting alice's soul, and it's where she disappeared to at the end of episode 5. I find rio's choices here so brilliant, because we know that she chooses the way she appears to souls. she is not being mean per se, she's woken alice up so gently and she's talking in a soft voice. but she looks fucking scary too, there is no questioning who she is or what she's doing here. indeed alice doesn't question her former companion being the grim reaper. it's like, rio is willing to go slow, but alice still needs to know right away that there is no escape.

alice's quiet devastation as she sees her own dead body. as much as I would have liked to see lilia walk away with her Death, I'm so glad we got alice instead. lilia died on her own terms and on such a high note. alice's story needed to take one last breath. literally.

this whole scene to me perfectly encapsulates the message of the show. beautiful, strong alice, alive one moment and gone the next, just like that. how can one come to terms with that?

words that sound mocking, but aren't. it's like accusing the ocean or the stars of being cruel. nature doesn't carry any ill intent, it simply exists.

but look what happens next. rio's smile fades at alice's despair. because rio is a willing agent of nature and balance, but also - and that's the brilliancy and tragedy of this character - rio is capable of love. she has an impossible job and she's damn good at it, but it takes a toll. she bent the rules of nature once, for the one person she loves more than the universe itself. she won't go that far for anybody else, but she has gotten to know alice, she felt true companionship with her - alice's loss is hurting on a personal level.

I've seen so many 'alice's death doesn't sit right with me' takes. YEAH, YOU THINK?!! alice's death is AWFUL. she lived all her life under this horrible curse and died one moment after liberating herself. all her hopes, all her goodness, all her potential, gone. it's MONSTROUS. it's UNFAIR.

it is monstrous that people (and children, dear god, children!) die all the time of disease, or wars, accidents, calamities. go scream at the sky about it. see if it answers back.

you died protecting someone. it's so matter-of-factly.

have you ever watched blade runner 2049? (if you haven't major spoilers ahead). ryan gosling's character, a replicant, believes he might be special, a chosen one, but turns out he was just a cog in the machine. he dies protecting harrison ford who is of course the real hero of the story. the bittersweet implication being that he didn't die in vain, that no matter how small his role in the overarching story, his life mattered and is worth remembering. but he still died alone and bleeding under the snow. it's a much bleaker message than the sweeping hero tales of old, but is not completely devoid of hope.

rio wishes to give alice's brief existence some closure, some meaning. alice died selflessly, doing something she truly believed in: isn't that worth something?

and yet. alice is still dead, all of rio's good intentions won't spare her. we do need to be kind to each other and uphold our humanity in the face of tragedy, even if it hurts like a bitch, even if it won't change a thing. be kind, if you find the strength for it. create meaning where there isn't. it's all we have in common. it's all we can do.

alice visibly recoils at rio's words. they're not enough, nothing is ever going to be enough.

and that's why I think rio had to look so damn scary in this scene, even if she's being patient and so gentle under the circumstances. her role as Death has to come before her personal feelings, that is her job and her choice.

oh, alice. my sweet alice.

lilia saw Death coming and went willingly. alice said no and cried as she stepped through the threshold. again, I am SO glad we were shown this. she wasn't as brave as lilia, but I dare you to call her a coward or to love her any less.

GOD jen's ear-piercing SCREAM. what did I just say about lilia's death being better? screw that. death is an equalizer. nobody is spared.

jen has held it together so far. eyes on the prize, no pity for anyone else involved. look at her crumble.

billy is speechless. this is the third time he has known grief in however many hours, and each time worse than the previous one. he has lost all of his innocence. and the light, the light. everything is green, it's rio, rio, rio.

remember when agatha was so afraid of Death in episode 3 that she tried to break a glass window, and everybody laughed? so funny, wasn't it?

and here she is, fucking terrified, running through green light.

and then she sees her.

your coven is shrinkiiiiiiing. oh it's so nice to finally see her with her crown. I pray and hope to see agatha wearing a crown some day.

first alice, now lilia. I love that it's so heavy, I love all the implications. it was never only about agatha trying to avoid an ex. it's what rio represents, it's what rio did to alice and lilia.

it's what she did to nicky.

except it wasn't her! she's just the ferryman! and if anyone, agatha killed alice and lilia! we just saw rio's heart ache for alice as she collected her soul! they're both lashing out at each other because they can't handle this impossible heaviness between them. agatha is being cruel because she's in pain. rio is being cruel because she's in pain. it's such a mess.

this is all I have in me tonight, fuck this show is too much. and we've just started the episode! there is a lot to unpack, the closer I look at things the sadder it gets.

go to episode 8 part 2

[abitcaughtinthemiddle]

The Hypocrisy of Vex'ahlia

Before you all come for me, I am a Vex stan and I will defend her until I die - she is my favorite Critical Role character and I'm so glad we're getting a deeper dive into her psyche.

The complexities of her character cannot be overstated. She has a lot going on under the surface, and the breadcrumbs of her deep-seated insecurities have been there the whole time.

I'm really excited we get to explore those in season 3 through her relationship with Percy, in a way different than what we've seen in the actual play streams. I want to commend the writers for being able to convey so much in so little time.

We are introduced to Vex as a sexy, confident woman who uses her looks and charisma to her advantage. She takes charge most of the time, being the unofficial "leader" of Vox Machina. She presents herself as someone who doesn't really need anyone else and does not care about anyone outside of her brother. Keyleth even comments on this in the first episode, "Vex and Vax only care about themselves".

This, of course, is a complete fabrication, a mask she wears to hide her insecurities. A mask, she wants no one to see through. The irony here is that she can so easily see behind Percy's mask - "Darling, take off the mask". It takes one to know one, after all.

She so badly wants to get underneath Percy's mask, for him to show himself to her fully. There's something inside of her that sees the guilt and shame inside of him and that resonates with her belief that she is deeply broken. Vex truly believes that something must truly be wrong with her. And why wouldn't she? Saundor, who said he knew everything about her, saw this, too, after all.

Saundor says plainly, "you will never be enough."

So it must be true, right?

Why wouldn't something be so wrong with her? It would make sense. Her father carries no love for her, her mother died, and Vax had to sacrifice his life for hers. She knows Vax loves her, and she believes he is the only one who does. Even Kamaljiori, an ancient and all-knowing Sphinx, fed into this during their test when Vax fell: "you have no family left who cares for you".

Her hypocrisy lies in the facade she built as a woman who does not need anyone or anything. She presents herself as someone who does not need the love of others, when in reality, she desperately wants to be loved.

Saundor saw this as well.

Vex longs to love and be loved. And yet, she cannot allow herself to give up her facade and let Percy love her and admit her love for him.

The last person to see through her walls was Saundor, and we know how that went.

What he said really cut her deep, as we see after the Kevdak fight when she brushes off Pike's inquiries about her experience in the fey realm.

As we see her relationship with Percy move from harmless flirting to physical intimacy at the beginning of season 3, we see her embrace the physical closeness to Percy but starts to block him out the moment he wants to cement their relationship. But she can't let herself tell him how she feels because that would mean admitting her heart is his - and that would be doomed to end in tragedy, as Vex admits later in the cave.

Putting up this emotional wall between her and Percy will not give Vex what she wants: love.

Love is that emotional intimacy. Vex loves to point out the importance of love between other people- in season 2, pushing Keyleth to tell Vax how she feels ("it always matters"), assuring Allura that Kima's love for her will help her endure after Vorugal's attack, and putting faith in the rest of Vox Machina.

Vex understands what makes love so special, and how important truth and intimacy are to real, lasting love.

And while she comforts others and pushes them to be vulnerable and embrace love, her own fears prevent her from fully doing the same. It's ironic and sad, how one of the only people who can see through her mask is the one she's pushing away.

Trauma makes hypocrites of us all.

Image credits @blorbologist @aq2003

[rwrbficrecs]

WIP Wednesday

A bit late but happy new year 🎊 starting the year off strong with 10 WIP recs - enjoy!! ❤️

the world forgetting, by the world forgot by @leaves-of-laurelin (book-verse)

@dot524: This is an extraordinarily sad and poignant story about the tragedy of a failed relationship and the efforts to bring it back together. Alex and Henry used to be together, but they grew apart. As part of their breakup, Henry underwent a procedure that caused him to forget Alex, and Alex decides to do the same thing. What will they do when they realize that it was a mistake? This is an Eternal Sunlight of the Spotless Mind AU, and I’m not familiar with that story, but the fic is engrossing and well-done. It’s also almost finished. Check it out!

Like Because, Love Despite by @aforgottennymph (book-verse)

@dot524: Alex and Henry are work rivals who are both working themselves to the bone. It turns out that they used to be together, but they broke up. Their assistants, Nora and Pez, have come up with a plan to get them together - mainly to make their own jobs tolerable. But Alex and Henry are working through a painful past, and things are not always as they seem. I was snorting reading the most recent chapter - this one is just fun, joyful, and hilarious. Plus there are some flashbacks to their relationship that make you feel all the feels. Can’t wait to see how the author gets these two together!

Break Out by @cricketnationrise (book/movie-verse)

@na-dineee: Ice hockey is the perfect setup for an MLM romance, right?! Novels like Time to Shine are a prime example, and there are already some amazing firstprince x ice hockey AUs out there. And now, cricketnationrise started one too – yay !! Humor, fluff, and eventual smut – ok, enough said, I’m in!

i'll be riding shotgun by @callmevenji (book-verse)

@na-dineee: As with ice hockey, road trips are just as popular setups for many beautiful rwrb fanfics. With this one, I’m able to tick off some of my favourite tropes, like enemies to lovers, oblivious Alex with abandonment issues, or found family. The author’s previous fics have always amazed me, and I’m sure this one will be no different – the setup is just too good!

tis the damn season by @littlemisskittentoes (book-verse)

@na-dineee: I think this is Sarah’s first multi-chap fic? Alex and Henry were childhood best friends, a friendship that meant the world to Alex. But that’s all in the past. Still, Alex’s stubborn heart never stopped loving Henry... The WiP is posted about halfway through, and it’s as beautifully poetic as you’d expect from Sarah. The small town setting gives off such cozy vibes – it’s just so lovely !!

The Love Lasts So Long by @chaa-kiao (book-verse)

@na-dineee: The Foxes are close friends of the Claremont-Diazes. However, Alex can’t stand Henry. Like, not at all !! Naturally he's kind of shocked/annoyed to find out that Henry will be spending Christmas with them. As usual, Alex is totally oblivious to his feelings, but they'll get there, won't they?! I love this author, and am so glad that they're posting again. A story about falling in love, discovering their feelings, and the magic of Christmas - even in January just perfect.

The Final Rose by @tinyarmedtrex (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Alex is the new Bachelor, and it's Henry's job to keep everything running smoothly. Of course, the whole thing gets off to a rocky start. Henry can't stand Alex and his easy charm, but as he gets to know him, he starts to warm up, realising his feelings are anything but professional. Are we here for this?!! Yes, we are, aren’t we?!

Sweet Little Lies by @celaestis1 (book-verse)

@dot524: Canon divergent AU where Alex misses the royal wedding and Cake-gate never happened, but a flirtation between June and Henry and a lavender relationship did instead. Alex is still obsessed with Henry and has to confront his own feelings as the situation unfolds. So excited to see where this goes, especially since I’ve loved this author’s other works!

Driven to Distraction by @happiness-of-the-pursuit (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Since last year’s photos of TZP and Nick at F1 events, we’ve all been waiting (okay, maybe just me … but you too, right?!) for this AU. And now it’s here, written by none other than happinessofthepursuit. It’s going to be 10 chapters, rated E, Enemies to Lovers—and chapter 1 already leaves you wanting more.

Married at First Sight by @omgcmere (book-verse)

@myheartalivewrites: If you heard squealing across the oceans on Sunday, it was probably me when I saw the email notification for this beloved author publishing her first fic in 3 years. Alex and Henry sign up to do a reality show (if you haven't watched it, don't worry. I haven't and I'm enjoying it all the same!) in which they are supposed to get married to a complete stranger--except it turns out they already know each other, and Alex has been nursing a grudge for years. We're only a chapter in but the tension has already built up to an excellent level and I can't wait to keep reading.

check out our past WIP recs here ❤️

[barrenclan]

I think people forget that, even though it's upsetting and sad, Asphodel needed to die to drive the story forward. Of course, you could have turned the story a bit differently, but it's like that with every story written... Asphodel just happened to be the character you picked (it worked out quite beautifully story-wise though). It's sad, it sucks, it makes you wish things could be different. That's the tragedy. Not only did someone die JUST as they were growing into themselves, but we also witnessed the "first(second?) death" of someone who has been established as 'good' and 'right.' Rain's character development isn't as dissimilar to Asphodel's as you might think. I do believe that if Dust had died earlier in the story Rain's and Asphodel's growth could have mirrored each other (Rain being bi and Asphodel being aroace).

Both of their TRUE stories (about self-growth, even if it contradicted everything they were taught) were killed by the circumstances of their lives.

If the great disaster never happened, If Wheatstar had tried to warn the other clans, If Barrenclan's ideals were beaten into every generation; If Rain had stayed with his clan, If, if, if, if, if, if... they could have grown together as people.

Guys, I am SO normal about these kitty cats and the effects of multigenerational trauma hahahaha I'm totally not writing an in-depth analysis about Rain and Asphodel hahahahahahhahah

(debating if killing mom was the first death or rain realizing he couldn't change his mother' and becoming passive at his sister's abuse. ofc you can say, what can a kid do? and the small community ideals didn't help either. But I could talk about Rain for hours so again: debatable 'first' death)

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I, and even Raz prob, wish things turned out differently. But don't be sad Asphodel died, be happy she lived. However short it was. Trust me, you'll go crazy if you keep thinking about how you wished things turned out differently (Which is OKAY to do!!! Just don't spiral ;v;). I'm sorry to everyone who knows the pain of loss in any form. It's hard to accept and it's not easy or simple. But that's life. I give you all a big hug. (I'm calling myself here too btw, as I am still struggling with different losses in my life)

Awh, what a lovely analysis! Many of the things I was thinking about while writing the story.

[eruanee]

On Round 7 and the utility of sacrifice

⚠️ ROUND 7 SPOILERS ⚠️

I wanted to use this post to respond to some criticism I've seen circulating about Round 7 — it mostly being about Till's death making Ivan's sacrifice useless.

To be fair, this post doesn't aim to dismiss anyone's feelings or criticisms about R7 or Till's (presumed) death, they're all incredibly valid! I even have my own that I will talk about later. This post's only goal is really just to start a conversation about the general narrative of ALNST and how to write a compelling narrative in general. No matter what I'll say, people resonate with stories differently and expect different things from them, and that's okay!

Personally, I truly didn't expect Till to die. Before R7 came out, I even texted a friend saying this:

– If one of them has to die, I think it'll be Luka. Till's protagonist syndrome is too strong and his death would be narratively flat, I believe. – Yeah.

And well, shot missed, unlike the one that shot through Till's neck.

Though, I really do believe Till might not be dead, not only because of the #copium but this isn't really the point of this post — I will assume he is so I can discuss what his death would actually mean to the narrative and how it would impact it.

I understand that no one (including myself) expected R7 to go that way. A lot of it had us realizing we might have gotten some elements of the story wrong — something I didn't take into consideration is that the round was probably rigged to make sure Luka would win, which makes sense because of course that Alien Stage isn't the fairest competition (and if Ivan's pictures on the billboards aren't part of Till's hallucinations, this is plainly evil).

R7 also had us wondering what the goal of the rebels truly is: did they even intend to save Till? If not, why did they save Mizi, what did they see in her? Unlike what I first thought, like many others, it seemingly wasn't a rescue mission.

When I watched R7 for the first time, I audibly gasped the moment I saw the "Luka wins" sign appears and Till being shot down. And I thought "Ah, so that's the kind of story VIVINOS wanted to make." I was already a huge fan of their work before ALNST began, mostly of their horror stuff. When I watched it, I knew I was about to sit in front of absolutely devastating content that would leave me sick. The tragedy was always cruel, often unrewarding, but I would always ask for more. Good thing ALNST now exists, uh!

I mention this to state I went into ALNST expecting roughly the same thing and it's essentially what I got. I didn't expect Till to die but his death, in a way, didn't surprise me. Did it make me sick though? It sure did!

I do agree R7 feels incomplete. I think it's interesting that I have not a single idea of what's going to happen next, but my biggest regret is indeed that Till's death doesn't seem to do justice to his character or characterization.

Till, the rebellious misfit, always breaking rules to the point he has to be physically restrained, completely beaten by despair and trauma once again, dying on stage after he got a slight glimpse of hope he can never actually reach.

This is peak tragedy, and a beautifully animated one at that, but it doesn't feel like a compelling character development. If Till is truly dead, then he dies with the potential of being so much more. And this is truly sad and disappointing.

And this is why his death would make me sadder than Sua's or Ivan's. They got to choose their deaths and what it would mean for them, Till didn't. He was suffering and overwhelmed. He only accepted his fate because he got to know Mizi was still alive before his final moments. He got to die in her embrace, which is probably the only thing he could've asked for if that were to happen.

Sua's death got to introduce us to the reality of Alien Stage.

Ivan's death was an emotional climax. It conclused his character arc in a devastating way, but gave him a meaningful ending nonetheless.

Their deaths let us understand what kind of world Alien Stage takes place in : a cruel world where humans are pets to aliens, if not simple disposal. A world where feelings are never reciprocated until it's too late, where you long for something impossible until you realize you should've paid attention to what was right in front of your eyes, too.

Alien Stage is a show where the candidates' suffering are seen and consumed as mere entertainment.

In this system, I believe Sua's and Ivan's meaningful deaths are anomalies. Till's death is the standard. An extremely unfair event, result of an extremely unfair competition. This isn't about who deserves to survive, but about who manages to. If anything, I think the aliens are relieved Till is dead, as he was mostly a bother to them. Luka is beloved and accommodating.

A world where death is the easy escape, if not almost a selfish one. Sacrifice is an act of love, but also an act of egocentricity. The sacrifice aims to be remembered as selfless and generous, but in the end, they only "run away without any sense of responsibility". The gift sounds beautiful when actually, it might only be rotten.

In such a world, how can a sacrifice ever be useful? I guess Ivan's wasn't. A sacrifice only happens to create a possibility, a chance, a what if.

Another very frustrating part of Till's death to me is that I thought he had the power to be a protagonist. I still stand by it but he was robbed of this agency. Him being used as a narrative device for Mizi's protagonist plotline (at least that's what I believe) feels a bit cruel, even narratively.

Alien Stage can be a frustrating story because it seems there is no way out, which is ultimately not something people are seeking for very often in a story. I still hope there's a way out somewhere, maybe not for Till, but that would already be something.

As for now, it seems Mizi's role is to manage to make Sua's sacrifice, as well as all of these deaths, worth something. This is the 50th season of Alien Stage. The pile of corpses is leaking red.

I do wonder where the story is going to head.

At the very least, Till wasn't unknown till the end. You could say that being loved, even for a blink, makes one's life worthy to be lived.

[beanghostprincess]

TW // Suicidal behavior/tendencies

The ASL brothers deal with suicidal tendencies constantly in different ways and I find it so interesting how little the three of them value their lives for completely different reasons.

Ace is obvious from the very beginning. He has been constantly told that he shouldn't have existed. That he should die. That he is not worthy of living. His whole identity was a secret from the rest of the world because if they knew, they would want him dead. But he knows already that people want him dead, so, whatever. He can't take love from others. And it is not he is actively trying to kill himself but he doesn't value his life at all. At least not until he meets Sabo and Luffy. And he still doesn't value his life much, but he realizes there are people who want him alive. And it is hard for him to believe it, but they do. Ace's journey is a tragedy because he keeps asking himself if he should be alive, constantly fighting against it because he genuinely thinks he shouldn't have existed, and then dying in the arms of his little brother and thanking him for loving him. And he dies because he is too proud and stubborn and it was just obvious that his recklessness would end up killing him somehow. It was not a conscious action but-- Ace knew he was dying that day. Which is extremely sad because he realized he wanted to live seconds before he was killed.

Sabo is just too focused on saving the world. He puts the greater good before him constantly because he quite literally has never known any better. He joined the revs with no memories and no purpose and only hatred for the ones with power. He was raised with love and friends there but-- There is only so much you can do in a place where they teach kids specific ideals and what they should do. And Sabo is happy there and more than glad to be of service, but he doesn't value his life at all. He constantly puts himself in danger, ever since he was a kid, to fight for others. And not even others as 'specific people' but just society and his ideals as a whole. Like he would rather die and kill if that spreads the revolution around. He genuinely doesn't care about dying if he is able to help the cause. I mean-- I think it does change when he meets Luffy again (he is canonically still reckless af okay this is self-indulgent) and realizes he can't let his brother lose him again. But still, he keeps on not valuing his life at all and acting without thinking things through.

Luffy is quite obvious, isn't it? It's not that he doesn't value his life, but he values his life around others. He is a person whose core need is to be with people. He was left alone at a very young age. Dragon left him with Garp and Garp, aside from being an awful role model, wasn't even there much and left the kid alone. The only role model he had was Shanks and he was going away constantly too. Uta basically disappeared from his life out of the blue without explanation. So when he finds Sabo and Ace it is normal that he gets heavily attached to them right away. When he is kidnapped and tortured he doesn't say a word about their treasure because he doesn't want to get in between their dream which-- Is another story. He values people's dreams even above his own life too. But there is also this layer of "If I break the promise of not telling people they will not want me" and it is just-- Pretty fucking sad. Like. Luffy's need to be around people and not lose the ones he loves comes from abandonment issues. Plain and crystal clear. He puts his life in danger constantly to not lose people and when he is alone he doesn't see any reason to keep going. He always finds something, of course, but being alone for him is quite obviously worse than death and he has had those types of thoughts/tendencies before. That is why I love the Baron Omatsuri movie so damn much. It is basically this whole thing.

Ace and Sabo are pretty similar when it comes to not valuing their lives and acting recklessly, but Ace is more on the 'I should not be alive' side of suicidal thoughts and Sabo is more on the 'I don't care if I die' side of self-destructive tendencies. While Luffy is on the 'There is no point in living if I am alone' side of abandonment issues.

I don't mean to go anywhere with this, btw. I just find it interesting how the three of them value their lives so little and end up forming a little family together. They found comfort and love in each other and I think their damaging tendencies keep existing because they are not together anymore. Like. Genuinely. In a Modern AU where the three of them are together their mental health would be so much better because of being next to each other. Ace would struggle with his self-worth but would be constantly reminded every day that he is loved, Sabo would overwork himself but they'd keep him from it being actually damaging, and Luffy would just not be alone at all.

[number-onekidqueen]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝

Part Two Part One

Luke Castellan x Apollo!fem!reader

warnings: character death, depression, lots of crying.

Summary: you’re still feeling awkward about what happened that night with Luke. And then you get the news that changes everything.

Days passed, days since your ki- hang out with Luke. 

Hang out? Who were you kidding? It was clear it wasn’t him. 

But you’d laid yourself bare to him, been about to confess all your feelings and he had just shut you down and run away. 

Of course you didn’t wanna talk about it in the morning. 

The tragedy was he did. 

And just when you were feeling better, and your conversations weren’t so awkward, fate tossed you to the ground again, as it often did. You still didn’t really believe it. 

Cecilia, your cabin counsellor, your beloved older sister had died on the road to college. It seemed impossible. 

Of course, they’d had a brief ceremony, a burning of a golden yellow shroud weaved with her own fingers. And then they’d appointed you as cabin counsellor, announced a bunch of new kids had arrived and everyone forgot. 

It made you sick to think people would forget Cecilia. That the three Apollo kids your cabin had greeted would grow up without her and never know of her presence.

Obviously, your cabin was upset, but they didn’t make it so as Aphrodite always did. The sun keeps shining, and Apollo kids kept going, laughing, training, even if muffled sobs could be heard the first few nights. They never talked of her, and after the first week, she was a sad little scar that had scabbed. 

It still hurt a little, but the memory was what hurt the most. 

Except for you. She was still a mortal, lethal wound for you. And it was getting harder and harder to keep your composure and pretend everything was okay. 

Shortly, it all cracked and spilled out from you. It hadn’t been anyone’s fault really. Chiron was just trying to be supportive to little Will, but when he praised enthusiastically that he was the best archer he’d scene for 300 years, tears seemed to burst from you. 

Because that had been Cecilia’s title. She had been the best archer, training all the little ones supportively and making people gasp with the precision of her shots. 

It seemed Chiron had already forgotten. Everyone had. 

It was like losing her all over again. 

No one saw the little sun cracking on the archery field. They just noticed you disappearing behind some clouds. 

You didn’t pay attention to the stares and whiplash glances of some, as you ran back to your cabin with tears streaming, and your heart in your throat. 

Didn’t notice as a tall brunette boy on the sword plains spotted you, dropped his sword immediately and with a shouted apology behind him began to sprint after you. 

Your bed was warm and comforting, the covers swaddled around your shoulders in a safe cocoon as you sobbed your heart and soul onto your pillow. 

Cecelia was dead. Dead. This is what you would deal with every day for the rest of your life, she was dead and she would be replaced and forgotten and no one would even know her and-

The door creaked open and immediately you stilled, pretending to be asleep. 

“Y/N?” It was Luke. 

Not the timing, you thought to yourself miserably. 

“Y-yeah,” you tried for a sleepy yawn, but it came out cracked and pained. Ugh. 

“You ok?” He asked quietly, and you heard his footsteps approach. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just woke up.” But your voice was hollow and very much awake. 

He sat softly at the edge of your bed, and for a while you were both still. Only your breath was audible. Then, tentatively and slowly, you began to feel his warm fingers slide through your hair. It was so comforting and lovely that you had to swallow down the wave of tears that surfaced. 

“It’s okay, you know,” he murmured, your hair in glorious tangles around his knuckles, “to cry. You don’t have to pretend. Especially for me.”

“Yeah, I know,” you whispered back, “it’s just-“ you hesitated. 

I love you. 

I don’t want to burden you with all my stupid problems. 

“You probably don’t want to talk about this to anyone, right? Me included.” He guessed, and he began to retract his fingers and you felt like screaming at how utterly wrong he was. “I’m sorry, I should give you space.”

“No, you don’t have to. You can stay here.” You tried not to beg, but you were inches from clinging onto him to stop his departure. He understood. 

“Would you like me to stay?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Then here I’m staying. In your bed.” He reassured comfortingly, “I mean, on.” 

His flustered stuttering made you smile weakly and turn to face him. 

His whole face softened, lost all his fluster and stress when your eyes met, but you were too busy setting your head into his lap so you faced up at him to notice. 

He traced your tear tracks, brushing any remaining ones away with his thumbs. 

“I know the pain feels awful,” he said suddenly, “but if you ever feel bad, like you can’t breathe or you’re about to burst, don’t keep it in y/n, come find me. I’m always here for you, always.”

“Thank you.” You said near inaudibly. 

“I hate seeing you cry,” he confessed, his forehead crinkling, “or being sad. It just hurts me. But I love making you feel better, I’d do anything in the world to make you happy, I promise.”

“Thank you.” You said louder this time, your cheeks beginning to heat up. 

It was a peaceful few seconds you gazed at each other, smiling. Then you closed your eyes, comforted. 

You felt warm hands lift your body, and your eyes fluttered open. But it was just Luke lying down beside you and repositioning yourself on his chest. 

“Sorry,” he murmured, “just figured we might be here for a while.”

His arms encircled you, and even in your drunken state of misery, your heart rate sped up. You turned your head slightly, so you could hide your bashful grin in the orange folds of his shirt. His chest was warm, comforting, and you could feel every deep breath he took. 

“Sorry,” you murmured, facing up once more, “your shirt’s probably going to be all soggy after this.”

“I don’t mind a soggy shirt if it makes you happy.” He breathed, and your heart was bursting from the love that statement invoked when you saw his eyes flicker. Your eyes. Your mouth. 

Could he really-

Surely not-

Eyes. Mouth. 

The air was electric, as if Zeus himself was in the cabin. The space was getting tighter and smaller and everything was so close and dizzy and what in the gods before you knew it you were nose to nose and you could feel his warm breath and he was leaning down to kiss you against the pillow. 

It might’ve been the best kiss you ever had. With salt on your tongue, and sweetness from his lips, the tastes of all your emotions were combined, giving way to the most passionate and fantastic kiss you’d ever had. Your head was pressed to the pillow, and he was moving above you, warm, soft and pouring his heart out to you, the gateway his lips. It seemed every single ‘I love you’ either of you had ever been too afraid to say was expressed strongly now, each drop of attraction and love and feeling was encapsulated between the movement of your lips. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay,” he breathed, against your lips, when you finally pulled apart, both of you panting, “I didn’t want to do anything while you were drunk. But of course I wanted to. I wanted you. I have for so long.”

“It’s okay. I have too,” and you laughed, all those emotions and secrets finally free. You were so giddy with joy! But Luke remained tense, nervous for a reason you couldn’t determine. You calmed down, scared it was all about to come crashing down. 

“It’s- it’s not just that, y/n,” he paused, sitting up further away, eyes still looking profoundly into yours, “I love you. I love you, all of you, and you should know that to me you’ve never been a burden, only a miracle to have been with.” 

Your breath was caught in your throat, blown away by his confession. You were expecting he might’ve been crushing on you? But loving you? You’d never dared to consider that as an option. And you were beyond thrilled. 

“Now would be a great time to say anything,” he laughed nervously, fingers brushing over your shoulders restlessly. You immediately felt awful for keeping him waiting. 

“I love you too.” You blurted, letting silence ensue. “You make me so happy every time you make a joke or take care of the new unclaimed kids. I’m just in shock.”

And then the pair of you were laughing together, foreheads pressed together before you were tangled in an embrace, that led to another heated kiss on your bed.

You knew soon other campers would arrive to see two head counselors kissing, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care. In fact, while Luke’s like we’re on yours, you couldn’t seem to form any coherent thoughts at all. 

In the back of your mind, you were still sobbing over Cecilia. Deeply, you knew you always would. Your heart would always be chipped in that way, the missing fragment forever in her fist as she wandered Elysium. 

But you also knew how happy she would be to see you thriving, dating and loving Luke, a boy she had always suggested and approved of. She imagined her now, giggling in delight and grinning at what had transpired. And slowly, the pain began to lift. 

Maybe a scar would be okay, as long as you loved and remembered it. 

Most of all, you knew that for as long as you required a shoulder to make soggy, Luke would always be there to be your comfort person. 

taglist:

@lifeonawhim

@sflame15-blog

@star611

I think this was all, if you'd like to be added to the taglist, just comment or message me :)

[farshootergotme]

"Dick was an angry kid", "Dick was full of rage when he was Robin", "Jason was the happy Robin, not Dick"

Look at me in the eyes and explain to me how this sweet, playful, mischievous, kind and thoughtful kid is an angry child.

He was not an angry child. He does not deserve to be labelled as such.

You know what Dick Grayson was, though? He was a child with feelings. A kid that experienced all kind of emotions corresponding to the situation he was in.

I'm not telling you he was never angry and that he was always a happy-go-lucky kid. But is ridiculous how there's so much insistence on this idea that he was full of rage and his only mood was anger.

"But when his parents died-" When his parents died he was, above all, so fucking heartbroken. Yes, he was angry, because it wasn't fair. He shouldn't have lost everything in one night. He shouldn't have had to watch the bodies of the two persons he most loved in the world fall and break. He was just a kid. Of course he's going to feel anger after that. But that's not the only thing he felt. He was sad, too. And in spite of that tragedy, he could smile and feel some happiness as well.

Calling him an angry child is very insensitive, in my opinion. Is that how you call a child grieving his parents and processing loss?

Dick Grayson wasn't full of rage. He was full of life. He was full of the strength to keep going, of the love his parents left him, and of the pain of loss for a while. He was full of good and became someone who'd prevent more tragedies like his from happening. And there was anger, yes, but it was never what drove him to be Robin.

[echantedtoon]

Demonstober Day 3 Vampire

A corpse supposed, in European folklore, to leave its grave at night to drink the blood of the living by biting their necks with long pointed canine teeth.

Tagging: @lavenderdropp @six-eyed-samurai @trancylovecraft @cherrysuzaku

Remember if you want to be added to the spooktober taglist lemme know

Never go out at night. Especially near the old cemetery. 

You never understood why. Aa a child growing up you just assumed because the place was scary and full of ghosts so you were happily in agreement of staying far, far away from the old cemetery down the road. You'd  never go there, and stayed very far away which pleased your family. It wasn't until your sixteenth birthday that your grandfather pulled you aside one day under the guise of coming to help him carry vegetables to sell at the nearby town square however as soon as you two were alone, he pulled you both behind the barn and had  a very scary serious face.

"Y/n, listen to me. You're sixteen years old now. In two more years you're going to be all grown up and be able to make your own decisions and that's why I have to warn you before it's too late."

You blinked at him in shock. "Grandpa, what are you talking about about?" 

"I'm talking about vampires!" His tone was so blunt it made you blink.

"Vampires?" 

"Do you know why the old cemetery was abandoned and the new one was built right behind the village? Or why no one goes near the old one? Or why no one stays out at night?" You shook your head. You just assumed because it was creepy and haunted. He scoffed. "Of course not! No one's ever bothered to tell you the truth! Folks around here like to pretend nothing bad happens around here!"

"But...Vampires?" 

He nodded. That sounds.. unbelievable. There hasn't been any cases of people going missing or being found dead with their bodies drained of blood or with bite marks on their necks. And there hasn't even been any livestock killings other than the time your uncle caught a fox in his henhouse last year..But that was just a fox. 

"Let me tell you the entire truth. Back even before even my own parents were born, there was a clan that lived in the abandoned estate right next to that cemetery, it's so long no one even remembers their name, but long ago tragedy struck them. The entire clan turned on one another over a family dispute which left only two standing. A pair of brothers one of which left his clan after the incident while the other took over the entirety of the estate."

"That's very sad, but what does that have to do with anything with Vampires?"

"The brother who left died." His tone suddenly became very grim. "His body was found one day alongside the road as dead as roadkill. Instead of burning the cursed corpse, he was brought home to his brother so he may be buried in the family cemetery. However that mistake would prove to be fatal. The very next day after the funeral, the remaining brother was found dead in his bedroom! His entire body was drained of blood and a look of pure horror was etched onto his face."

Your eyes widened in shock at the words that left his mouth.

"It didn't stop there. A distant member of the clan's family went missing the next week, and then a week after that two other girls from the surrounding area also went missing. Not even their bodies were ever found."

"That's all very sad..but how do you know that it was vampires. Couldn't the girls have just ran away from home? Or the brother have a heart attack and died?" 

"Because when the local priest investigated the cemetery alongside the towns men, he ordered all the clan members graves to be dug up and the bodies examined." His gaze turned grave as a shudder physically shook his body as you gulped. "One by one each and EVERY member was dug up from the ground for the priest to examine and each one was the same with some form of destruction until they got to the final one. The brother who left the estate. "

Your skin got goosebumps and a shiver ran down your own spine at the way he was looking at you in fear. This story..Even if it was fake, sure was scary.

"When they pulled his cursed coffin from the ground and tore it open, his body was in perfect cold condition. As if he has just died within the last hour." His fearful expression became more scared. "But he wasn't the only one in that grave. Within the soft earth they found the three girls who had gone missing. Their bodies in as perfect condition as their devilish husband now. He had claimed them as his brides of the undead!" 

"W-Why didn't they just burn the bodies then?"

"Because they had already angered the spirits and committed a sacred crime by digging up all the bodies! No one wanted to risk angering the spirits on top of having a vampire! All the bodies were reburied with the exception of those cursed with vampirism. They were taken to be locked away in a mausoleum, and a steak was driven into the man's heart to return him to the dead! That place was abandoned since."

"If the vampire was killed, then why is there still worry?"

"Because someone removed his stake! A vampire is only dead as long as the stake remains in his heart! However it was discovered someone had broken into the crypt and removed it. The bodies were gone and since then it's always been the same. Don't go out at night. Stay away from the old cemetery. You're a young woman so you're going to be the most vulnerable. Heed my words, Child. Do not be fooled by them."

Since then you've been scared of going outside at night by yourself which your grandpa approved of until his eventually death a year later..but with you becoming older and older, you noticed that everything really wasn't as scary as your grandfather made it out to be. Your parents never before seemed to mind you going outside at night so long as you stayed away from the old cemetery they seemed perfectly happy. 

Plus LITERALLY NOTHING EVER HAPPENED!!

Nothing but the usual animals in the night. You never saw anything dangerous other than maybe a wild animal. Even IF there was a vampire running around, he must've been long gone by now or wasn't interested in the humans here. In fact he might not even exist at all! You came to the conclusion that he DEFINITELY didn't exist when you were out stargazing fell asleep and woke up perfectly okay on your balcony. If there was a vampire then he would've taken advantage of a woman fast asleep in the night. 

So you began to wonder what else might've been made up? Fairies? Ghosts? Imps? You've never seen anything like that even when you visited the cemetery and your grandparents' graves. No ghost, spirits, or spooks. So was the old cemetery they told you about really that bad either? Your curiosity only continued to grow and grow as you turned twenty and it was one day that you decided to go and check it out for yourself. 

Walking down the old path long since overgrown and completely covered in grass and flowers. You barely were able to find it from how much it blended into nature. You didn't know how far exactly you walked or how much time had passed by but eventually you came across something you were sort of expecting. The starts of a rock wall..the sight of it in the sunlight made you slow down to a stop. Staring wide eyed at the monument like it was something forbidden.

You should probably turn back now...but there's a reason why you came here during the day instead of night. Taking in a deep breath, you slowly approached. 

Old rocks crumbling away slowly from the elements and overgrown by vines. The wall was old and looked one step from crumbling away entirely as you approached it before slowly grabbing on some semi looking non rumbling parts and started pulling yourself up enough to look over the wall. The state of the inside was like a something out of a ghost story alright. Giant grass and wild flowers growing up and taking over the stone walkways that cracked badly with neglect, a few trees had grown in random places and a few stones looked like they were entangled in their roots.

Your footfalls were the only things that sounded around the place as you slowly walked around looking at everything. There was so many stones laid about everywhere. Misshapen by the elements over time and overgrown like everything else around the place. There was symbols that might've been named long ago but they were too worn away to really make out what they were when you curiously peered at a few. Continuing to walk around until you stumbled upon something. Something big.

A giant structure like building that was as big as a shed made of stone. 

It stuck out like a sore thumb in the middle of everything. A giant tree growing out of a giant crumbling crack in the top and side coating the entire structure in shade. Where a door might've been was now covered in vines like a nature prison cell. Was that the famous mausoleum from the story? Your form walked up and pushed the nearly roots apart enough to poke your head in. Only to cough and sneeze at the amount of dust accumulated inside. But there was nothing inside. Not even a body.

So that proved there was nothing here. Whelp. That debunks everything everyone else said. Wrestling with the roots until you were able to pull your head out  and relax back. Now that your curious itch was satisfied, you could leave and never look back. This place was creepy even in the daytime. You turned to leave, grass crunching under your feet as you took a few steps- 

"Who are you?" You immediately jumped with a gasp looking around wildly for whoever talked. "Up here."

You looked up and paused. Up on top of the mausoleum was a man. A very BEAUTIFUL man. Soft looking white flowed down his shoulders and broad muscles tensed up from where he kneeled on top of the ancient structure looking at you. His clothes fit him in such a way that reminded you of old ninja uniforms seen in some history books from school, but what struck you the most was the magenta eyes that seemed to be staring right through you. 

"Who are you?," he repeated making you jump.

"Oh! I uh-..I just wanted to look around and..stuff!"

"Uh huh." His eyes narrowed more looking you up and down before stopping on your side eyed face again. Seeming to calculate something in his mind.. before smiling. "Well you know what they say." He quickly switched from a kneeling position to a sitting one with his legs hanging over the side of the structure and scooted further into the shade, head in one hand. "Curiosity killed the cat."

Your brow rose at him. "And who are you?"

"Uzui. Tengen Uzui. You happen to be trespassing on my territory lady, so I can ask you the same thing."

"Territory?" You looked around again at the creepy damaged old graves. Who'd want this as their property "No offense but have you seen where you are?"

"Every day and night but Im curious now. Why are YOU?"

"Huh? Oh. I'm Y/n. Look. I didn't mean to bother you-" You held up your hands and took a step back. "-and I'm sorry but I should really get back before someone worries about me."

"Why would they worry about you? It's not like these dead people can hurt you."

"Well you're not going to believe me if I told you."

"Try me. You'd be surprised by what I've seen in my lifetime."

"Well they say this place is crawling with vampires."

Instead of laughing at you or looking at you like you were crazy, he hummed again and smiled wider. "Vampires. You don't say."

"Yep. That's why I was here. I came to see if anything was here but there's nothing. Just a fairytale like everything else I've been told."

"Not true. There's me and I happen to be rather flamboyant if I do say so myself!~" he purred gesturing to his muscles and making you snicker.

"Yeah. Right. Well I'd better be going. It was nice to meet you. Sorry for trespassing."

"Hey. Wait a minute." A loud thud sound went off as he pushed himself off and landed on his feet, and you gawked at how much taller he was than you were. Smiling still. "It's been a long time since anyone else visited me and it's pretty lonely up here." His hand gestured to the far left. "My wives and I have an estate just a little away from here. Why don't you come back to visit tomorrow?"

You blinked again. "An estate? I thought everything up here was abandoned.years ago."

"Right. I bet they say that it's haunted too."

"Is it?"

"No. But sometimes my best buddy comes by." He smiled at you in an almost joking way. "He's a Kitsune spirit. Even has a flashy shrine in the town over."

You couldn't help but giggle. "Ok. Sure. It'd be nice to visit someone knew. I'll come by next week since I'm not busy that day."

"GREAT! I'll have my wives fix you a feast! It's been years but my Suma can make a delicious shishkabob outta venison and veggies! I used to eat it all the time."

You didn't know what you've done that day. Waving goodbye as you climbed back over the wall. You didn't see him yawn before climbing back up the tree to rest again making sure to avoid the sunlight peeking in through the leaves. 

You did end up coming back next week without telling anyone. Past the cemetery and even further past it. You were surprised to find a small mansion in the middle of the woods right smack dab in a clearing. You guessed that someone must've moved in and fixed up the place. You ended up knocking on the door which slid open and you were met with pink eyes blinking in surprise. 

"Oh my...He wasn't kidding when he said you were coming" she sounded surprised but opened the door widely beckoning you inside. "Please come in! We've been expecting you."

"Thanks! Are you Suma?"

"No. I'm Hinatsuru but it's so good to see someone new! We don't have much visitors."

Hinatsuru. And the other two wives Makio and Suma. They were all so different from each other and Mr. Uzui was there too happily smiling and talking to you. With the food they promised you. It was so good! But they didn't eat anything. 

"We ate before you came to visit us, so don't worry about it."

That didn't bother you. Nor did it bother you when Tengen offered to walk you home  once it got too dark. Your parents weren't worried since they didn't worry about you going out (they had no idea that you went near the graveyard) and were surprised seeing the stunningly beautiful man standing in the doorway.

"Charmed I'm sure!" He posed making your mother even blush. "Tengen Uzui.~ I know we just met but I think I want to start courting your daughter. With your permission of course ~"

That's how the entire thing began. Almost as if your parents were hypnotized by him. They agreed much to your shock and you were suddenly counted by not only the beautiful man but his three beautiful wives. It certainly does seem like something out of a fairytale having so many beautiful people fond over you. 

Especially when he kissed you for the first time. A blush coating his face as you held his cheeks. Surprisingly cold lips kissed yours. And then your cheeks. And then chin. And then stopping at your neck. Eyes going slit feeling the rush of pulsing blood under sharpened teeth. 

"So beautiful. You're so beautiful. So flamboyant. So M I N E.~"

"T-Tengen? W-What are you doing?" His hug suddenly got tighter.

"It's alright, Princess. It'll only hurt for a second." You were suddenly aware of the adoring smiles on the wives faces as fangs poked out from between lips. "After all, a vampire's kiss is eternal.~"

[beemochi-art]

Thoughts on the transformers one movie?

Me? you wanna here my thoughts about the TF one?

SURE!!

First off the movie looks amazing, the ost is incredible, the voice acting is pretty good and the writing is Awesome! The pacing a little fast, the story movie kinda quickly which is fine, I’d rather have a fast movie then a slow one.

You can tell the actors really cared about this movie, I have never seen actors get this much into the marketing for anything! Brian Tyree Henry did an amazing job for Megatron, by far he was the best.

There was plenty of action! The fighting and weight of the character was great, you can tell they were really hitting each other hard. This movie had a lot of love put into it. Incredible watching experience.

D16 was the star of the show! In my opinion at least! They were able to capture the innocence and the loss of that innocence really well. The slight character tics also didn’t get past me and did a lot to add to the emotions the character were showing.

I loved this movie, and I will be watching more as soon as I can! I accidentally missed that end credits scene. We were just too excited and wanted to talk about it!

!!SPOILER REVIEW!! ⬇️

Alright! This movie fulfill something the fans have been asking for year for. The Orgin of Optimus prime and Megatron on the big screen. We all knew it was going to be a tragedy! Whether you ship Megop or not, we can all appreciate the loss of someone close, when we think we know someone but then seemingly out of nowhere, they flip. But I assure you, the flip was not out of no where.

But before I get to the main two I want to talk about everyone else first.

ELITA AND BEE

Sorry Oplita fans, Elita is on a path to get that promotion and get that bag! Elita is in fact a mean boss babe, but that not all she is. She is a strong and determined worker. Even tho she is one of the lower classes bots she does everything with a sense of pride, no matter what she’s doing. She cares a lot, her gruff and aggressive attitude may try to hide it but I see past that. Although she really didn’t have an arc to her character you know? Idk I might have to watch it again.

Bee is the goofster to the group. Very cute and very funny. He really didn’t have an arc either and I wish he did. Bee was mostly there to serve as the comedic relief. And honestly I think we all needed. He wasn’t ever too annoying or obnoxiously stupid. I very much enjoyed him!

Sentinel Prime

God what a fantastic villain he was! Kinda sad he died. I always knew Dee would kill him. He was just as pompous and trashy diplomat as I hoped. Such good lines from him. He died like a dog and couldn’t be happier. We didn’t get to see his alt mode which made me kind of sad. He’s like a mega church pastor! They are usually secretly evil. Him turning the tides of the battle with the primes is something else dude.

ORION

Oh god here we go. His character was just fantastic! I’m really happy we are getting an origin story. His personality being the adventurists, rowdy, troublesome questioner is so cool! And such a big contrast to the usual iterations of Orion pax. He’s stray kitten coded. His young age makes him optimistic, selfish and naive. It also causes him to mistreat Dee; having the best intentions of course, even tho he completely disregards what Dee feels. It started off as him just wanting to be seen and help his people to everything quickly getting out of hand and him losing his best friend. I’m sure he regrets making Dee participate in that race. His issue just being childlike innocence and being self centered.

DEE (aka Dean. Aka Megatron.)

Oh god y’all aren’t ready for this one!

Dee starts off as the goodest boy. Will of whimsy! But like most villains all it takes is one bad day. Oh Dee you poor thing. If robots could cry he would have like four times in this movie.

Good Christian boy. Followed the rules, didn’t ask questions and had unwavering love for the Primes. Megatronus and Sentinel being the big two.

It’s cool to think of Dee eyes being a dead giveaway to how he’s feeling. Betraying him even in the final scene.

“NO, I WANT TO KILL HIM!”

This part! This is my favorite part of the whole movie. Dee had the audience full attention. The desperation, sadness and anger in his voice. Fantastic! As D16’s friend, this needed to be addressed immediately. But I can understand Orion not knowing what to say or how to comfort him, cause as a kid yourself what do you even say to that?? Orion always knew something was wrong, he was the questioner, but to Dee this was his life. To Orion, Sentinel Prime’s betrayal wasn’t that deep. But this was Dee’s life, he followed them without question, just to see his hero struck down in cold blood. His anger is something Orion can’t comprehend, he never knew he had that in him. I think Orion could probably right this off the first time but it wouldn’t be that last time D16 would start scaring Orion.

I’ve always heard people describe Dee has flipping his personality. There is no flip. Dee is deceptively passive. His whole life has been flipped and need Orions support. But sadly that moment would never show up. I don’t even think Orion would know how to go about it since he was so focused on his goal. My mom said Orion was a bit irritating because  he couldn’t properly read his friend.

At first I thought he had carved this into himself. Which is bad, really bad. But I think Sentinel doing it to him actually makes it worse. He hasn’t just mutilated Dee once, But twice. He took something he liked, something that was special, something that was a symbol of him and Orions friendship and made it cause him pain. It’s like the last of his innocence being taken away from him.

So when he was trying to kill Sentinels and Orion was holding him back he said “He needs to die.” And that last part sounding so emotional hits so hard. He loved Sentinel. You can hear the hurt and sadness in his voice for megatronus prime, sentinel the other miners, but mostly for himself. And almost all that hurt Orion had to say “you’ll be like sentinel.”

Oh brother that was no the move. Immediately upon it being compared to sentinel by his best friend, the rage returned. Blinded by his rage he accidentally shot Orion.

Finally we have Megatron. Bro is on his Kratos arc. Sentinel was driven by greed. Megatron is driven by his hate and anger.

This by far the best transformers movie. I think ever.

[wlwanakin]

I don't understand this actitude about "why ppl want to make padme's life darker", specially when: a) the prequels are a train wreck, a tragedy, she literally dies at the end of the trilogy, the republic is deeply corrupt and impossible to save, there's a war, and she's an important political figure.

And b) This type of "complain" seems to only be deserved for Padme, bc fandom LOVES to hyperexaminate every single detail about the Clones, Obi-Wan, or even the most background Jedi character ever and discuss their trauma and whatever, so why when the analysis is about Padme that ppl complain?? What's appealing about her life being actually super nice and well-adjusted? Everything in canon literally points to the contrary; she fell in love in the course of three days, that's not something someone with a big circle of intimate friends and lots of emotional support does.

Even Mon and Bail, and Satine, all of them, we never saw a conversation that wasn't directly linked to politics or their work, Padme revelas very very little of her life. I know we love to joke that everyone in the senate and the Jedi temple knew she was with Anakin, but the fact that it was a secret that no single one of her so called friends knew speaks volumes (not counting the handmaidens).

Maybe is bc ppl want Padme to have other meaningful figures in her life so it doesn't look like her life revolves only around a man (jokes on them Anakin is a he/him butch), but the movies actually do show us she does have a lot going on her life, it's just that when it comes to emotional bonds, she *is* pretty lonely.

i left this sitting in my inbox for just a few days long enough for the discourse this in the context of to die but FUCKING RIGHT!!! all evidence points to padmé having the absolute garbage work/life balance and being interpersonally unfulfilled, and that’s not even a particularly dark observation to glean from her!! i just feel absolutely insane seeing people act like it’s inventing some grimdark tragic backstory to say a character has no friends and that made her weird about relationships. like the level of misogyny it takes to see that and be like “you’re reaching” in a fandom that acts like fucking obi-wan “first tragedy was experienced at 25” kenobi was crucified like jesus every day since birth is crazy to me. and people love acting like they��re doing a feminism by ignoring this pretty basic facet of her character because like you said they flatten anidala to her only being fulfilled because of a man (because they don’t realize that relationship is gay…so sad) but it just makes her boring to do that!! don’t fight the story!!!