#and it’s sad he dies of COURSE but it’s not a tragedy. not to me. he loved the whole world. he smiled before he died.

[qpjianghu]

(...but what if I was?)

Li Lianhua / Li Xiangyi | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

[very-straight-blog]

It really tires me how some fans try to make Aegon look like an asshole who doesn't give a shit about anything. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character as such. Of course he cares, that's literally the essence of his personality. He cares. He and Aemond both feel too much emotion, but if Aemond sublimates into self–improvement, trying to be strong, cold and detached, then Aegon is literally an open wound. I want to talk about this, also using Tom's interviews (yes, I think the actor's opinion is valid in this matter) and the few scenes that we have in the first season.

We know that Aegon didn't want the throne and wasn't ready to rule. The scene with Alicent, who explains to him the prospects for the future of their family, seems very traumatic to me. Imagine what it's like to know from your childhood that the lives of people close to you depend on you, on how strong you'll be. Such a burden can destroy anyone. You can't just ignore it.

Next, we're shown how Aegon drinks on Driftmark. And that's a pretty sad sight - several cups in a row, wincing, as if taking a medicine that will help him to feel better.

Actually, I like the theory that he gets drunk after Aemond says that Helaena is his future queen. Another reminder that he'll have to marry his own sister, for whom he has no feelings. And he drinks because he tries to numb his pain.

The same goes for his obviously unhealthy attitude towards sex - he uses it to numb his loneliness. I believe that Aegon literally didn't have the opportunity to feel what love is in any form. His father disliked him and showed it openly. His mother loved him, but she never knew how to express it the way he needed to. He was married to his sister (the tragedy for both of them) and it was a matter of duty, not feelings. At the time of the first season, Aegon is deeply unhappy and this is obvious. I have every reason to believe that his need for physical intimacy is based on the fact that this is the only form of love he can receive. Considering that Aegon is quite smart, I even think that he himself understands how ugly this form is, but there's nothing he can do. During the act, I guess in some unhealthy way it really saves him from loneliness, longing and the need to be loved, but in the end it makes him even more unhappy.

Then it's impossible not to remember the eighth episode and the famous:

It's still clear that family is important to him. Yes, he feels like a stranger among his relatives, but it hurts him just because he cares. He cries and says "it will never be enough for you or father" because he wants it to be enough. He still loves them and wants them to love him back.

"What Aegon wants more than anything is to be told by his dad ‘I have faith in your capabilities as a young man. I see you bringing prosperity to King’s Landing.’ But he hasn’t said any of those things. His dad has completely ignored him, in fact, throughout his entire youth." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Esquire

Next, we can move on to episode nine and the fact that Aegon ran away. I've seen a lot of opinions that this is an indicator of selfishness and like...what? He was scared. This follows from the script:

He was scared, he'd never leave his family, much less Sunfyre. It was a decision made in a panic when he realized that his father had died and the moment he had feared all his life had come - he needed to accept the crown to protect his family.

During the conversation in the carriage, we see that Aegon was really hurt that his father didn't love him:

He even said "because he didn't like me" when talking about his father's attitude towards him. He didn't use the word "love" because it was obvious to him that his father didn't love him. He used the word "like", unknowingly emphasizing that he couldn't count on even simple sympathy.

He's also well aware that Viserys could have named him the heir, but didn't do so simply because he didn't want to and because of this, he - the eldest son, feels unworthy of the throne, and also completely lost.

When Alicent tells him that Viserys wanted to make him the heir before his death, an emotional dam breaks inside him, it's literally written in the script:

And at this moment, looking at the dagger, he's not even listening to Alicent, he's completely in his thoughts - maybe, at least for a second, his father cared about him. And when he asks his mother if she loves him, we see how much he craves love, how broken he really is, how important his family is to him.

I know this post is insanely long and I haven't even analyzed the various microexpressions in Tom's acting, but I'm really tired of people wanting to make Aegon something pure evil.

"I also see Aegon as being incredibly complex. He's not an out-and-out psychopath. I see a multilayered character that just has endless potential of pits of vulnerability and empathy and things that we don't see. I think it's his vulnerability that breeds the darkness. It's the way he copes, it's his security, it's his safety blanket, it's an addictive coping mechanism for him to shut things out and to be cold." (с) Tom Glynn-Carney for Entertainment Weekly

[abitcaughtinthemiddle]

The Hypocrisy of Vex'ahlia

Before you all come for me, I am a Vex stan and I will defend her until I die - she is my favorite Critical Role character and I'm so glad we're getting a deeper dive into her psyche.

The complexities of her character cannot be overstated. She has a lot going on under the surface, and the breadcrumbs of her deep-seated insecurities have been there the whole time.

I'm really excited we get to explore those in season 3 through her relationship with Percy, in a way different than what we've seen in the actual play streams. I want to commend the writers for being able to convey so much in so little time.

We are introduced to Vex as a sexy, confident woman who uses her looks and charisma to her advantage. She takes charge most of the time, being the unofficial "leader" of Vox Machina. She presents herself as someone who doesn't really need anyone else and does not care about anyone outside of her brother. Keyleth even comments on this in the first episode, "Vex and Vax only care about themselves".

This, of course, is a complete fabrication, a mask she wears to hide her insecurities. A mask, she wants no one to see through. The irony here is that she can so easily see behind Percy's mask - "Darling, take off the mask". It takes one to know one, after all.

She so badly wants to get underneath Percy's mask, for him to show himself to her fully. There's something inside of her that sees the guilt and shame inside of him and that resonates with her belief that she is deeply broken. Vex truly believes that something must truly be wrong with her. And why wouldn't she? Saundor, who said he knew everything about her, saw this, too, after all.

Saundor says plainly, "you will never be enough."

So it must be true, right?

Why wouldn't something be so wrong with her? It would make sense. Her father carries no love for her, her mother died, and Vax had to sacrifice his life for hers. She knows Vax loves her, and she believes he is the only one who does. Even Kamaljiori, an ancient and all-knowing Sphinx, fed into this during their test when Vax fell: "you have no family left who cares for you".

Her hypocrisy lies in the facade she built as a woman who does not need anyone or anything. She presents herself as someone who does not need the love of others, when in reality, she desperately wants to be loved.

Saundor saw this as well.

Vex longs to love and be loved. And yet, she cannot allow herself to give up her facade and let Percy love her and admit her love for him.

The last person to see through her walls was Saundor, and we know how that went.

What he said really cut her deep, as we see after the Kevdak fight when she brushes off Pike's inquiries about her experience in the fey realm.

As we see her relationship with Percy move from harmless flirting to physical intimacy at the beginning of season 3, we see her embrace the physical closeness to Percy but starts to block him out the moment he wants to cement their relationship. But she can't let herself tell him how she feels because that would mean admitting her heart is his - and that would be doomed to end in tragedy, as Vex admits later in the cave.

Putting up this emotional wall between her and Percy will not give Vex what she wants: love.

Love is that emotional intimacy. Vex loves to point out the importance of love between other people- in season 2, pushing Keyleth to tell Vax how she feels ("it always matters"), assuring Allura that Kima's love for her will help her endure after Vorugal's attack, and putting faith in the rest of Vox Machina.

Vex understands what makes love so special, and how important truth and intimacy are to real, lasting love.

And while she comforts others and pushes them to be vulnerable and embrace love, her own fears prevent her from fully doing the same. It's ironic and sad, how one of the only people who can see through her mask is the one she's pushing away.

Trauma makes hypocrites of us all.

Image credits @blorbologist @aq2003

[barrenclan]

I think people forget that, even though it's upsetting and sad, Asphodel needed to die to drive the story forward. Of course, you could have turned the story a bit differently, but it's like that with every story written... Asphodel just happened to be the character you picked (it worked out quite beautifully story-wise though). It's sad, it sucks, it makes you wish things could be different. That's the tragedy. Not only did someone die JUST as they were growing into themselves, but we also witnessed the "first(second?) death" of someone who has been established as 'good' and 'right.' Rain's character development isn't as dissimilar to Asphodel's as you might think. I do believe that if Dust had died earlier in the story Rain's and Asphodel's growth could have mirrored each other (Rain being bi and Asphodel being aroace).

Both of their TRUE stories (about self-growth, even if it contradicted everything they were taught) were killed by the circumstances of their lives.

If the great disaster never happened, If Wheatstar had tried to warn the other clans, If Barrenclan's ideals were beaten into every generation; If Rain had stayed with his clan, If, if, if, if, if, if... they could have grown together as people.

Guys, I am SO normal about these kitty cats and the effects of multigenerational trauma hahahaha I'm totally not writing an in-depth analysis about Rain and Asphodel hahahahahahhahah

(debating if killing mom was the first death or rain realizing he couldn't change his mother' and becoming passive at his sister's abuse. ofc you can say, what can a kid do? and the small community ideals didn't help either. But I could talk about Rain for hours so again: debatable 'first' death)

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I, and even Raz prob, wish things turned out differently. But don't be sad Asphodel died, be happy she lived. However short it was. Trust me, you'll go crazy if you keep thinking about how you wished things turned out differently (Which is OKAY to do!!! Just don't spiral ;v;). I'm sorry to everyone who knows the pain of loss in any form. It's hard to accept and it's not easy or simple. But that's life. I give you all a big hug. (I'm calling myself here too btw, as I am still struggling with different losses in my life)

Awh, what a lovely analysis! Many of the things I was thinking about while writing the story.

[beanghostprincess]

TW // Suicidal behavior/tendencies

The ASL brothers deal with suicidal tendencies constantly in different ways and I find it so interesting how little the three of them value their lives for completely different reasons.

Ace is obvious from the very beginning. He has been constantly told that he shouldn't have existed. That he should die. That he is not worthy of living. His whole identity was a secret from the rest of the world because if they knew, they would want him dead. But he knows already that people want him dead, so, whatever. He can't take love from others. And it is not he is actively trying to kill himself but he doesn't value his life at all. At least not until he meets Sabo and Luffy. And he still doesn't value his life much, but he realizes there are people who want him alive. And it is hard for him to believe it, but they do. Ace's journey is a tragedy because he keeps asking himself if he should be alive, constantly fighting against it because he genuinely thinks he shouldn't have existed, and then dying in the arms of his little brother and thanking him for loving him. And he dies because he is too proud and stubborn and it was just obvious that his recklessness would end up killing him somehow. It was not a conscious action but-- Ace knew he was dying that day. Which is extremely sad because he realized he wanted to live seconds before he was killed.

Sabo is just too focused on saving the world. He puts the greater good before him constantly because he quite literally has never known any better. He joined the revs with no memories and no purpose and only hatred for the ones with power. He was raised with love and friends there but-- There is only so much you can do in a place where they teach kids specific ideals and what they should do. And Sabo is happy there and more than glad to be of service, but he doesn't value his life at all. He constantly puts himself in danger, ever since he was a kid, to fight for others. And not even others as 'specific people' but just society and his ideals as a whole. Like he would rather die and kill if that spreads the revolution around. He genuinely doesn't care about dying if he is able to help the cause. I mean-- I think it does change when he meets Luffy again (he is canonically still reckless af okay this is self-indulgent) and realizes he can't let his brother lose him again. But still, he keeps on not valuing his life at all and acting without thinking things through.

Luffy is quite obvious, isn't it? It's not that he doesn't value his life, but he values his life around others. He is a person whose core need is to be with people. He was left alone at a very young age. Dragon left him with Garp and Garp, aside from being an awful role model, wasn't even there much and left the kid alone. The only role model he had was Shanks and he was going away constantly too. Uta basically disappeared from his life out of the blue without explanation. So when he finds Sabo and Ace it is normal that he gets heavily attached to them right away. When he is kidnapped and tortured he doesn't say a word about their treasure because he doesn't want to get in between their dream which-- Is another story. He values people's dreams even above his own life too. But there is also this layer of "If I break the promise of not telling people they will not want me" and it is just-- Pretty fucking sad. Like. Luffy's need to be around people and not lose the ones he loves comes from abandonment issues. Plain and crystal clear. He puts his life in danger constantly to not lose people and when he is alone he doesn't see any reason to keep going. He always finds something, of course, but being alone for him is quite obviously worse than death and he has had those types of thoughts/tendencies before. That is why I love the Baron Omatsuri movie so damn much. It is basically this whole thing.

Ace and Sabo are pretty similar when it comes to not valuing their lives and acting recklessly, but Ace is more on the 'I should not be alive' side of suicidal thoughts and Sabo is more on the 'I don't care if I die' side of self-destructive tendencies. While Luffy is on the 'There is no point in living if I am alone' side of abandonment issues.

I don't mean to go anywhere with this, btw. I just find it interesting how the three of them value their lives so little and end up forming a little family together. They found comfort and love in each other and I think their damaging tendencies keep existing because they are not together anymore. Like. Genuinely. In a Modern AU where the three of them are together their mental health would be so much better because of being next to each other. Ace would struggle with his self-worth but would be constantly reminded every day that he is loved, Sabo would overwork himself but they'd keep him from it being actually damaging, and Luffy would just not be alone at all.

[number-onekidqueen]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝

Part Two Part One

Luke Castellan x Apollo!fem!reader

warnings: character death, depression, lots of crying.

Summary: you’re still feeling awkward about what happened that night with Luke. And then you get the news that changes everything.

Days passed, days since your ki- hang out with Luke. 

Hang out? Who were you kidding? It was clear it wasn’t him. 

But you’d laid yourself bare to him, been about to confess all your feelings and he had just shut you down and run away. 

Of course you didn’t wanna talk about it in the morning. 

The tragedy was he did. 

And just when you were feeling better, and your conversations weren’t so awkward, fate tossed you to the ground again, as it often did. You still didn’t really believe it. 

Cecilia, your cabin counsellor, your beloved older sister had died on the road to college. It seemed impossible. 

Of course, they’d had a brief ceremony, a burning of a golden yellow shroud weaved with her own fingers. And then they’d appointed you as cabin counsellor, announced a bunch of new kids had arrived and everyone forgot. 

It made you sick to think people would forget Cecilia. That the three Apollo kids your cabin had greeted would grow up without her and never know of her presence.

Obviously, your cabin was upset, but they didn’t make it so as Aphrodite always did. The sun keeps shining, and Apollo kids kept going, laughing, training, even if muffled sobs could be heard the first few nights. They never talked of her, and after the first week, she was a sad little scar that had scabbed. 

It still hurt a little, but the memory was what hurt the most. 

Except for you. She was still a mortal, lethal wound for you. And it was getting harder and harder to keep your composure and pretend everything was okay. 

Shortly, it all cracked and spilled out from you. It hadn’t been anyone’s fault really. Chiron was just trying to be supportive to little Will, but when he praised enthusiastically that he was the best archer he’d scene for 300 years, tears seemed to burst from you. 

Because that had been Cecilia’s title. She had been the best archer, training all the little ones supportively and making people gasp with the precision of her shots. 

It seemed Chiron had already forgotten. Everyone had. 

It was like losing her all over again. 

No one saw the little sun cracking on the archery field. They just noticed you disappearing behind some clouds. 

You didn’t pay attention to the stares and whiplash glances of some, as you ran back to your cabin with tears streaming, and your heart in your throat. 

Didn’t notice as a tall brunette boy on the sword plains spotted you, dropped his sword immediately and with a shouted apology behind him began to sprint after you. 

Your bed was warm and comforting, the covers swaddled around your shoulders in a safe cocoon as you sobbed your heart and soul onto your pillow. 

Cecelia was dead. Dead. This is what you would deal with every day for the rest of your life, she was dead and she would be replaced and forgotten and no one would even know her and-

The door creaked open and immediately you stilled, pretending to be asleep. 

“Y/N?” It was Luke. 

Not the timing, you thought to yourself miserably. 

“Y-yeah,” you tried for a sleepy yawn, but it came out cracked and pained. Ugh. 

“You ok?” He asked quietly, and you heard his footsteps approach. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just woke up.” But your voice was hollow and very much awake. 

He sat softly at the edge of your bed, and for a while you were both still. Only your breath was audible. Then, tentatively and slowly, you began to feel his warm fingers slide through your hair. It was so comforting and lovely that you had to swallow down the wave of tears that surfaced. 

“It’s okay, you know,” he murmured, your hair in glorious tangles around his knuckles, “to cry. You don’t have to pretend. Especially for me.”

“Yeah, I know,” you whispered back, “it’s just-“ you hesitated. 

I love you. 

I don’t want to burden you with all my stupid problems. 

“You probably don’t want to talk about this to anyone, right? Me included.” He guessed, and he began to retract his fingers and you felt like screaming at how utterly wrong he was. “I’m sorry, I should give you space.”

“No, you don’t have to. You can stay here.” You tried not to beg, but you were inches from clinging onto him to stop his departure. He understood. 

“Would you like me to stay?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Then here I’m staying. In your bed.” He reassured comfortingly, “I mean, on.” 

His flustered stuttering made you smile weakly and turn to face him. 

His whole face softened, lost all his fluster and stress when your eyes met, but you were too busy setting your head into his lap so you faced up at him to notice. 

He traced your tear tracks, brushing any remaining ones away with his thumbs. 

“I know the pain feels awful,” he said suddenly, “but if you ever feel bad, like you can’t breathe or you’re about to burst, don’t keep it in y/n, come find me. I’m always here for you, always.”

“Thank you.” You said near inaudibly. 

“I hate seeing you cry,” he confessed, his forehead crinkling, “or being sad. It just hurts me. But I love making you feel better, I’d do anything in the world to make you happy, I promise.”

“Thank you.” You said louder this time, your cheeks beginning to heat up. 

It was a peaceful few seconds you gazed at each other, smiling. Then you closed your eyes, comforted. 

You felt warm hands lift your body, and your eyes fluttered open. But it was just Luke lying down beside you and repositioning yourself on his chest. 

“Sorry,” he murmured, “just figured we might be here for a while.”

His arms encircled you, and even in your drunken state of misery, your heart rate sped up. You turned your head slightly, so you could hide your bashful grin in the orange folds of his shirt. His chest was warm, comforting, and you could feel every deep breath he took. 

“Sorry,” you murmured, facing up once more, “your shirt’s probably going to be all soggy after this.”

“I don’t mind a soggy shirt if it makes you happy.” He breathed, and your heart was bursting from the love that statement invoked when you saw his eyes flicker. Your eyes. Your mouth. 

Could he really-

Surely not-

Eyes. Mouth. 

The air was electric, as if Zeus himself was in the cabin. The space was getting tighter and smaller and everything was so close and dizzy and what in the gods before you knew it you were nose to nose and you could feel his warm breath and he was leaning down to kiss you against the pillow. 

It might’ve been the best kiss you ever had. With salt on your tongue, and sweetness from his lips, the tastes of all your emotions were combined, giving way to the most passionate and fantastic kiss you’d ever had. Your head was pressed to the pillow, and he was moving above you, warm, soft and pouring his heart out to you, the gateway his lips. It seemed every single ‘I love you’ either of you had ever been too afraid to say was expressed strongly now, each drop of attraction and love and feeling was encapsulated between the movement of your lips. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay,” he breathed, against your lips, when you finally pulled apart, both of you panting, “I didn’t want to do anything while you were drunk. But of course I wanted to. I wanted you. I have for so long.”

“It’s okay. I have too,” and you laughed, all those emotions and secrets finally free. You were so giddy with joy! But Luke remained tense, nervous for a reason you couldn’t determine. You calmed down, scared it was all about to come crashing down. 

“It’s- it’s not just that, y/n,” he paused, sitting up further away, eyes still looking profoundly into yours, “I love you. I love you, all of you, and you should know that to me you’ve never been a burden, only a miracle to have been with.” 

Your breath was caught in your throat, blown away by his confession. You were expecting he might’ve been crushing on you? But loving you? You’d never dared to consider that as an option. And you were beyond thrilled. 

“Now would be a great time to say anything,” he laughed nervously, fingers brushing over your shoulders restlessly. You immediately felt awful for keeping him waiting. 

“I love you too.” You blurted, letting silence ensue. “You make me so happy every time you make a joke or take care of the new unclaimed kids. I’m just in shock.”

And then the pair of you were laughing together, foreheads pressed together before you were tangled in an embrace, that led to another heated kiss on your bed.

You knew soon other campers would arrive to see two head counselors kissing, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care. In fact, while Luke’s like we’re on yours, you couldn’t seem to form any coherent thoughts at all. 

In the back of your mind, you were still sobbing over Cecilia. Deeply, you knew you always would. Your heart would always be chipped in that way, the missing fragment forever in her fist as she wandered Elysium. 

But you also knew how happy she would be to see you thriving, dating and loving Luke, a boy she had always suggested and approved of. She imagined her now, giggling in delight and grinning at what had transpired. And slowly, the pain began to lift. 

Maybe a scar would be okay, as long as you loved and remembered it. 

Most of all, you knew that for as long as you required a shoulder to make soggy, Luke would always be there to be your comfort person. 

taglist:

@lifeonawhim

@sflame15-blog

@star611

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[farshootergotme]

"Dick was an angry kid", "Dick was full of rage when he was Robin", "Jason was the happy Robin, not Dick"

Look at me in the eyes and explain to me how this sweet, playful, mischievous, kind and thoughtful kid is an angry child.

He was not an angry child. He does not deserve to be labelled as such.

You know what Dick Grayson was, though? He was a child with feelings. A kid that experienced all kind of emotions corresponding to the situation he was in.

I'm not telling you he was never angry and that he was always a happy-go-lucky kid. But is ridiculous how there's so much insistence on this idea that he was full of rage and his only mood was anger.

"But when his parents died-" When his parents died he was, above all, so fucking heartbroken. Yes, he was angry, because it wasn't fair. He shouldn't have lost everything in one night. He shouldn't have had to watch the bodies of the two persons he most loved in the world fall and break. He was just a kid. Of course he's going to feel anger after that. But that's not the only thing he felt. He was sad, too. And in spite of that tragedy, he could smile and feel some happiness as well.

Calling him an angry child is very insensitive, in my opinion. Is that how you call a child grieving his parents and processing loss?

Dick Grayson wasn't full of rage. He was full of life. He was full of the strength to keep going, of the love his parents left him, and of the pain of loss for a while. He was full of good and became someone who'd prevent more tragedies like his from happening. And there was anger, yes, but it was never what drove him to be Robin.

[eruanee]

On Round 7 and the utility of sacrifice

⚠️ ROUND 7 SPOILERS ⚠️

I wanted to use this post to respond to some criticism I've seen circulating about Round 7 — it mostly being about Till's death making Ivan's sacrifice useless.

To be fair, this post doesn't aim to dismiss anyone's feelings or criticisms about R7 or Till's (presumed) death, they're all incredibly valid! I even have my own that I will talk about later. This post's only goal is really just to start a conversation about the general narrative of ALNST and how to write a compelling narrative in general. No matter what I'll say, people resonate with stories differently and expect different things from them, and that's okay!

Personally, I truly didn't expect Till to die. Before R7 came out, I even texted a friend saying this:

– If one of them has to die, I think it'll be Luka. Till's protagonist syndrome is too strong and his death would be narratively flat, I believe. – Yeah.

And well, shot missed, unlike the one that shot through Till's neck.

Though, I really do believe Till might not be dead, not only because of the #copium but this isn't really the point of this post — I will assume he is so I can discuss what his death would actually mean to the narrative and how it would impact it.

I understand that no one (including myself) expected R7 to go that way. A lot of it had us realizing we might have gotten some elements of the story wrong — something I didn't take into consideration is that the round was probably rigged to make sure Luka would win, which makes sense because of course that Alien Stage isn't the fairest competition (and if Ivan's pictures on the billboards aren't part of Till's hallucinations, this is plainly evil).

R7 also had us wondering what the goal of the rebels truly is: did they even intend to save Till? If not, why did they save Mizi, what did they see in her? Unlike what I first thought, like many others, it seemingly wasn't a rescue mission.

When I watched R7 for the first time, I audibly gasped the moment I saw the "Luka wins" sign appears and Till being shot down. And I thought "Ah, so that's the kind of story VIVINOS wanted to make." I was already a huge fan of their work before ALNST began, mostly of their horror stuff. When I watched it, I knew I was about to sit in front of absolutely devastating content that would leave me sick. The tragedy was always cruel, often unrewarding, but I would always ask for more. Good thing ALNST now exists, uh!

I mention this to state I went into ALNST expecting roughly the same thing and it's essentially what I got. I didn't expect Till to die but his death, in a way, didn't surprise me. Did it make me sick though? It sure did!

I do agree R7 feels incomplete. I think it's interesting that I have not a single idea of what's going to happen next, but my biggest regret is indeed that Till's death doesn't seem to do justice to his character or characterization.

Till, the rebellious misfit, always breaking rules to the point he has to be physically restrained, completely beaten by despair and trauma once again, dying on stage after he got a slight glimpse of hope he can never actually reach.

This is peak tragedy, and a beautifully animated one at that, but it doesn't feel like a compelling character development. If Till is truly dead, then he dies with the potential of being so much more. And this is truly sad and disappointing.

And this is why his death would make me sadder than Sua's or Ivan's. They got to choose their deaths and what it would mean for them, Till didn't. He was suffering and overwhelmed. He only accepted his fate because he got to know Mizi was still alive before his final moments. He got to die in her embrace, which is probably the only thing he could've asked for if that were to happen.

Sua's death got to introduce us to the reality of Alien Stage.

Ivan's death was an emotional climax. It conclused his character arc in a devastating way, but gave him a meaningful ending nonetheless.

Their deaths let us understand what kind of world Alien Stage takes place in : a cruel world where humans are pets to aliens, if not simple disposal. A world where feelings are never reciprocated until it's too late, where you long for something impossible until you realize you should've paid attention to what was right in front of your eyes, too.

Alien Stage is a show where the candidates' suffering are seen and consumed as mere entertainment.

In this system, I believe Sua's and Ivan's meaningful deaths are anomalies. Till's death is the standard. An extremely unfair event, result of an extremely unfair competition. This isn't about who deserves to survive, but about who manages to. If anything, I think the aliens are relieved Till is dead, as he was mostly a bother to them. Luka is beloved and accommodating.

A world where death is the easy escape, if not almost a selfish one. Sacrifice is an act of love, but also an act of egocentricity. The sacrifice aims to be remembered as selfless and generous, but in the end, they only "run away without any sense of responsibility". The gift sounds beautiful when actually, it might only be rotten.

In such a world, how can a sacrifice ever be useful? I guess Ivan's wasn't. A sacrifice only happens to create a possibility, a chance, a what if.

Another very frustrating part of Till's death to me is that I thought he had the power to be a protagonist. I still stand by it but he was robbed of this agency. Him being used as a narrative device for Mizi's protagonist plotline (at least that's what I believe) feels a bit cruel, even narratively.

Alien Stage can be a frustrating story because it seems there is no way out, which is ultimately not something people are seeking for very often in a story. I still hope there's a way out somewhere, maybe not for Till, but that would already be something.

As for now, it seems Mizi's role is to manage to make Sua's sacrifice, as well as all of these deaths, worth something. This is the 50th season of Alien Stage. The pile of corpses is leaking red.

I do wonder where the story is going to head.

At the very least, Till wasn't unknown till the end. You could say that being loved, even for a blink, makes one's life worthy to be lived.

[echantedtoon]

Demonstober Day 3 Vampire

A corpse supposed, in European folklore, to leave its grave at night to drink the blood of the living by biting their necks with long pointed canine teeth.

Tagging: @lavenderdropp @six-eyed-samurai @trancylovecraft @cherrysuzaku

Remember if you want to be added to the spooktober taglist lemme know

Never go out at night. Especially near the old cemetery. 

You never understood why. Aa a child growing up you just assumed because the place was scary and full of ghosts so you were happily in agreement of staying far, far away from the old cemetery down the road. You'd  never go there, and stayed very far away which pleased your family. It wasn't until your sixteenth birthday that your grandfather pulled you aside one day under the guise of coming to help him carry vegetables to sell at the nearby town square however as soon as you two were alone, he pulled you both behind the barn and had  a very scary serious face.

"Y/n, listen to me. You're sixteen years old now. In two more years you're going to be all grown up and be able to make your own decisions and that's why I have to warn you before it's too late."

You blinked at him in shock. "Grandpa, what are you talking about about?" 

"I'm talking about vampires!" His tone was so blunt it made you blink.

"Vampires?" 

"Do you know why the old cemetery was abandoned and the new one was built right behind the village? Or why no one goes near the old one? Or why no one stays out at night?" You shook your head. You just assumed because it was creepy and haunted. He scoffed. "Of course not! No one's ever bothered to tell you the truth! Folks around here like to pretend nothing bad happens around here!"

"But...Vampires?" 

He nodded. That sounds.. unbelievable. There hasn't been any cases of people going missing or being found dead with their bodies drained of blood or with bite marks on their necks. And there hasn't even been any livestock killings other than the time your uncle caught a fox in his henhouse last year..But that was just a fox. 

"Let me tell you the entire truth. Back even before even my own parents were born, there was a clan that lived in the abandoned estate right next to that cemetery, it's so long no one even remembers their name, but long ago tragedy struck them. The entire clan turned on one another over a family dispute which left only two standing. A pair of brothers one of which left his clan after the incident while the other took over the entirety of the estate."

"That's very sad, but what does that have to do with anything with Vampires?"

"The brother who left died." His tone suddenly became very grim. "His body was found one day alongside the road as dead as roadkill. Instead of burning the cursed corpse, he was brought home to his brother so he may be buried in the family cemetery. However that mistake would prove to be fatal. The very next day after the funeral, the remaining brother was found dead in his bedroom! His entire body was drained of blood and a look of pure horror was etched onto his face."

Your eyes widened in shock at the words that left his mouth.

"It didn't stop there. A distant member of the clan's family went missing the next week, and then a week after that two other girls from the surrounding area also went missing. Not even their bodies were ever found."

"That's all very sad..but how do you know that it was vampires. Couldn't the girls have just ran away from home? Or the brother have a heart attack and died?" 

"Because when the local priest investigated the cemetery alongside the towns men, he ordered all the clan members graves to be dug up and the bodies examined." His gaze turned grave as a shudder physically shook his body as you gulped. "One by one each and EVERY member was dug up from the ground for the priest to examine and each one was the same with some form of destruction until they got to the final one. The brother who left the estate. "

Your skin got goosebumps and a shiver ran down your own spine at the way he was looking at you in fear. This story..Even if it was fake, sure was scary.

"When they pulled his cursed coffin from the ground and tore it open, his body was in perfect cold condition. As if he has just died within the last hour." His fearful expression became more scared. "But he wasn't the only one in that grave. Within the soft earth they found the three girls who had gone missing. Their bodies in as perfect condition as their devilish husband now. He had claimed them as his brides of the undead!" 

"W-Why didn't they just burn the bodies then?"

"Because they had already angered the spirits and committed a sacred crime by digging up all the bodies! No one wanted to risk angering the spirits on top of having a vampire! All the bodies were reburied with the exception of those cursed with vampirism. They were taken to be locked away in a mausoleum, and a steak was driven into the man's heart to return him to the dead! That place was abandoned since."

"If the vampire was killed, then why is there still worry?"

"Because someone removed his stake! A vampire is only dead as long as the stake remains in his heart! However it was discovered someone had broken into the crypt and removed it. The bodies were gone and since then it's always been the same. Don't go out at night. Stay away from the old cemetery. You're a young woman so you're going to be the most vulnerable. Heed my words, Child. Do not be fooled by them."

Since then you've been scared of going outside at night by yourself which your grandpa approved of until his eventually death a year later..but with you becoming older and older, you noticed that everything really wasn't as scary as your grandfather made it out to be. Your parents never before seemed to mind you going outside at night so long as you stayed away from the old cemetery they seemed perfectly happy. 

Plus LITERALLY NOTHING EVER HAPPENED!!

Nothing but the usual animals in the night. You never saw anything dangerous other than maybe a wild animal. Even IF there was a vampire running around, he must've been long gone by now or wasn't interested in the humans here. In fact he might not even exist at all! You came to the conclusion that he DEFINITELY didn't exist when you were out stargazing fell asleep and woke up perfectly okay on your balcony. If there was a vampire then he would've taken advantage of a woman fast asleep in the night. 

So you began to wonder what else might've been made up? Fairies? Ghosts? Imps? You've never seen anything like that even when you visited the cemetery and your grandparents' graves. No ghost, spirits, or spooks. So was the old cemetery they told you about really that bad either? Your curiosity only continued to grow and grow as you turned twenty and it was one day that you decided to go and check it out for yourself. 

Walking down the old path long since overgrown and completely covered in grass and flowers. You barely were able to find it from how much it blended into nature. You didn't know how far exactly you walked or how much time had passed by but eventually you came across something you were sort of expecting. The starts of a rock wall..the sight of it in the sunlight made you slow down to a stop. Staring wide eyed at the monument like it was something forbidden.

You should probably turn back now...but there's a reason why you came here during the day instead of night. Taking in a deep breath, you slowly approached. 

Old rocks crumbling away slowly from the elements and overgrown by vines. The wall was old and looked one step from crumbling away entirely as you approached it before slowly grabbing on some semi looking non rumbling parts and started pulling yourself up enough to look over the wall. The state of the inside was like a something out of a ghost story alright. Giant grass and wild flowers growing up and taking over the stone walkways that cracked badly with neglect, a few trees had grown in random places and a few stones looked like they were entangled in their roots.

Your footfalls were the only things that sounded around the place as you slowly walked around looking at everything. There was so many stones laid about everywhere. Misshapen by the elements over time and overgrown like everything else around the place. There was symbols that might've been named long ago but they were too worn away to really make out what they were when you curiously peered at a few. Continuing to walk around until you stumbled upon something. Something big.

A giant structure like building that was as big as a shed made of stone. 

It stuck out like a sore thumb in the middle of everything. A giant tree growing out of a giant crumbling crack in the top and side coating the entire structure in shade. Where a door might've been was now covered in vines like a nature prison cell. Was that the famous mausoleum from the story? Your form walked up and pushed the nearly roots apart enough to poke your head in. Only to cough and sneeze at the amount of dust accumulated inside. But there was nothing inside. Not even a body.

So that proved there was nothing here. Whelp. That debunks everything everyone else said. Wrestling with the roots until you were able to pull your head out  and relax back. Now that your curious itch was satisfied, you could leave and never look back. This place was creepy even in the daytime. You turned to leave, grass crunching under your feet as you took a few steps- 

"Who are you?" You immediately jumped with a gasp looking around wildly for whoever talked. "Up here."

You looked up and paused. Up on top of the mausoleum was a man. A very BEAUTIFUL man. Soft looking white flowed down his shoulders and broad muscles tensed up from where he kneeled on top of the ancient structure looking at you. His clothes fit him in such a way that reminded you of old ninja uniforms seen in some history books from school, but what struck you the most was the magenta eyes that seemed to be staring right through you. 

"Who are you?," he repeated making you jump.

"Oh! I uh-..I just wanted to look around and..stuff!"

"Uh huh." His eyes narrowed more looking you up and down before stopping on your side eyed face again. Seeming to calculate something in his mind.. before smiling. "Well you know what they say." He quickly switched from a kneeling position to a sitting one with his legs hanging over the side of the structure and scooted further into the shade, head in one hand. "Curiosity killed the cat."

Your brow rose at him. "And who are you?"

"Uzui. Tengen Uzui. You happen to be trespassing on my territory lady, so I can ask you the same thing."

"Territory?" You looked around again at the creepy damaged old graves. Who'd want this as their property "No offense but have you seen where you are?"

"Every day and night but Im curious now. Why are YOU?"

"Huh? Oh. I'm Y/n. Look. I didn't mean to bother you-" You held up your hands and took a step back. "-and I'm sorry but I should really get back before someone worries about me."

"Why would they worry about you? It's not like these dead people can hurt you."

"Well you're not going to believe me if I told you."

"Try me. You'd be surprised by what I've seen in my lifetime."

"Well they say this place is crawling with vampires."

Instead of laughing at you or looking at you like you were crazy, he hummed again and smiled wider. "Vampires. You don't say."

"Yep. That's why I was here. I came to see if anything was here but there's nothing. Just a fairytale like everything else I've been told."

"Not true. There's me and I happen to be rather flamboyant if I do say so myself!~" he purred gesturing to his muscles and making you snicker.

"Yeah. Right. Well I'd better be going. It was nice to meet you. Sorry for trespassing."

"Hey. Wait a minute." A loud thud sound went off as he pushed himself off and landed on his feet, and you gawked at how much taller he was than you were. Smiling still. "It's been a long time since anyone else visited me and it's pretty lonely up here." His hand gestured to the far left. "My wives and I have an estate just a little away from here. Why don't you come back to visit tomorrow?"

You blinked again. "An estate? I thought everything up here was abandoned.years ago."

"Right. I bet they say that it's haunted too."

"Is it?"

"No. But sometimes my best buddy comes by." He smiled at you in an almost joking way. "He's a Kitsune spirit. Even has a flashy shrine in the town over."

You couldn't help but giggle. "Ok. Sure. It'd be nice to visit someone knew. I'll come by next week since I'm not busy that day."

"GREAT! I'll have my wives fix you a feast! It's been years but my Suma can make a delicious shishkabob outta venison and veggies! I used to eat it all the time."

You didn't know what you've done that day. Waving goodbye as you climbed back over the wall. You didn't see him yawn before climbing back up the tree to rest again making sure to avoid the sunlight peeking in through the leaves. 

You did end up coming back next week without telling anyone. Past the cemetery and even further past it. You were surprised to find a small mansion in the middle of the woods right smack dab in a clearing. You guessed that someone must've moved in and fixed up the place. You ended up knocking on the door which slid open and you were met with pink eyes blinking in surprise. 

"Oh my...He wasn't kidding when he said you were coming" she sounded surprised but opened the door widely beckoning you inside. "Please come in! We've been expecting you."

"Thanks! Are you Suma?"

"No. I'm Hinatsuru but it's so good to see someone new! We don't have much visitors."

Hinatsuru. And the other two wives Makio and Suma. They were all so different from each other and Mr. Uzui was there too happily smiling and talking to you. With the food they promised you. It was so good! But they didn't eat anything. 

"We ate before you came to visit us, so don't worry about it."

That didn't bother you. Nor did it bother you when Tengen offered to walk you home  once it got too dark. Your parents weren't worried since they didn't worry about you going out (they had no idea that you went near the graveyard) and were surprised seeing the stunningly beautiful man standing in the doorway.

"Charmed I'm sure!" He posed making your mother even blush. "Tengen Uzui.~ I know we just met but I think I want to start courting your daughter. With your permission of course ~"

That's how the entire thing began. Almost as if your parents were hypnotized by him. They agreed much to your shock and you were suddenly counted by not only the beautiful man but his three beautiful wives. It certainly does seem like something out of a fairytale having so many beautiful people fond over you. 

Especially when he kissed you for the first time. A blush coating his face as you held his cheeks. Surprisingly cold lips kissed yours. And then your cheeks. And then chin. And then stopping at your neck. Eyes going slit feeling the rush of pulsing blood under sharpened teeth. 

"So beautiful. You're so beautiful. So flamboyant. So M I N E.~"

"T-Tengen? W-What are you doing?" His hug suddenly got tighter.

"It's alright, Princess. It'll only hurt for a second." You were suddenly aware of the adoring smiles on the wives faces as fangs poked out from between lips. "After all, a vampire's kiss is eternal.~"

[beemochi-art]

Thoughts on the transformers one movie?

Me? you wanna here my thoughts about the TF one?

SURE!!

First off the movie looks amazing, the ost is incredible, the voice acting is pretty good and the writing is Awesome! The pacing a little fast, the story movie kinda quickly which is fine, I’d rather have a fast movie then a slow one.

You can tell the actors really cared about this movie, I have never seen actors get this much into the marketing for anything! Brian Tyree Henry did an amazing job for Megatron, by far he was the best.

There was plenty of action! The fighting and weight of the character was great, you can tell they were really hitting each other hard. This movie had a lot of love put into it. Incredible watching experience.

D16 was the star of the show! In my opinion at least! They were able to capture the innocence and the loss of that innocence really well. The slight character tics also didn’t get past me and did a lot to add to the emotions the character were showing.

I loved this movie, and I will be watching more as soon as I can! I accidentally missed that end credits scene. We were just too excited and wanted to talk about it!

!!SPOILER REVIEW!! ⬇️

Alright! This movie fulfill something the fans have been asking for year for. The Orgin of Optimus prime and Megatron on the big screen. We all knew it was going to be a tragedy! Whether you ship Megop or not, we can all appreciate the loss of someone close, when we think we know someone but then seemingly out of nowhere, they flip. But I assure you, the flip was not out of no where.

But before I get to the main two I want to talk about everyone else first.

ELITA AND BEE

Sorry Oplita fans, Elita is on a path to get that promotion and get that bag! Elita is in fact a mean boss babe, but that not all she is. She is a strong and determined worker. Even tho she is one of the lower classes bots she does everything with a sense of pride, no matter what she’s doing. She cares a lot, her gruff and aggressive attitude may try to hide it but I see past that. Although she really didn’t have an arc to her character you know? Idk I might have to watch it again.

Bee is the goofster to the group. Very cute and very funny. He really didn’t have an arc either and I wish he did. Bee was mostly there to serve as the comedic relief. And honestly I think we all needed. He wasn’t ever too annoying or obnoxiously stupid. I very much enjoyed him!

Sentinel Prime

God what a fantastic villain he was! Kinda sad he died. I always knew Dee would kill him. He was just as pompous and trashy diplomat as I hoped. Such good lines from him. He died like a dog and couldn’t be happier. We didn’t get to see his alt mode which made me kind of sad. He’s like a mega church pastor! They are usually secretly evil. Him turning the tides of the battle with the primes is something else dude.

ORION

Oh god here we go. His character was just fantastic! I’m really happy we are getting an origin story. His personality being the adventurists, rowdy, troublesome questioner is so cool! And such a big contrast to the usual iterations of Orion pax. He’s stray kitten coded. His young age makes him optimistic, selfish and naive. It also causes him to mistreat Dee; having the best intentions of course, even tho he completely disregards what Dee feels. It started off as him just wanting to be seen and help his people to everything quickly getting out of hand and him losing his best friend. I’m sure he regrets making Dee participate in that race. His issue just being childlike innocence and being self centered.

DEE (aka Dean. Aka Megatron.)

Oh god y’all aren’t ready for this one!

Dee starts off as the goodest boy. Will of whimsy! But like most villains all it takes is one bad day. Oh Dee you poor thing. If robots could cry he would have like four times in this movie.

Good Christian boy. Followed the rules, didn’t ask questions and had unwavering love for the Primes. Megatronus and Sentinel being the big two.

It’s cool to think of Dee eyes being a dead giveaway to how he’s feeling. Betraying him even in the final scene.

“NO, I WANT TO KILL HIM!”

This part! This is my favorite part of the whole movie. Dee had the audience full attention. The desperation, sadness and anger in his voice. Fantastic! As D16’s friend, this needed to be addressed immediately. But I can understand Orion not knowing what to say or how to comfort him, cause as a kid yourself what do you even say to that?? Orion always knew something was wrong, he was the questioner, but to Dee this was his life. To Orion, Sentinel Prime’s betrayal wasn’t that deep. But this was Dee’s life, he followed them without question, just to see his hero struck down in cold blood. His anger is something Orion can’t comprehend, he never knew he had that in him. I think Orion could probably right this off the first time but it wouldn’t be that last time D16 would start scaring Orion.

I’ve always heard people describe Dee has flipping his personality. There is no flip. Dee is deceptively passive. His whole life has been flipped and need Orions support. But sadly that moment would never show up. I don’t even think Orion would know how to go about it since he was so focused on his goal. My mom said Orion was a bit irritating because  he couldn’t properly read his friend.

At first I thought he had carved this into himself. Which is bad, really bad. But I think Sentinel doing it to him actually makes it worse. He hasn’t just mutilated Dee once, But twice. He took something he liked, something that was special, something that was a symbol of him and Orions friendship and made it cause him pain. It’s like the last of his innocence being taken away from him.

So when he was trying to kill Sentinels and Orion was holding him back he said “He needs to die.” And that last part sounding so emotional hits so hard. He loved Sentinel. You can hear the hurt and sadness in his voice for megatronus prime, sentinel the other miners, but mostly for himself. And almost all that hurt Orion had to say “you’ll be like sentinel.”

Oh brother that was no the move. Immediately upon it being compared to sentinel by his best friend, the rage returned. Blinded by his rage he accidentally shot Orion.

Finally we have Megatron. Bro is on his Kratos arc. Sentinel was driven by greed. Megatron is driven by his hate and anger.

This by far the best transformers movie. I think ever.

[wlwanakin]

I don't understand this actitude about "why ppl want to make padme's life darker", specially when: a) the prequels are a train wreck, a tragedy, she literally dies at the end of the trilogy, the republic is deeply corrupt and impossible to save, there's a war, and she's an important political figure.

And b) This type of "complain" seems to only be deserved for Padme, bc fandom LOVES to hyperexaminate every single detail about the Clones, Obi-Wan, or even the most background Jedi character ever and discuss their trauma and whatever, so why when the analysis is about Padme that ppl complain?? What's appealing about her life being actually super nice and well-adjusted? Everything in canon literally points to the contrary; she fell in love in the course of three days, that's not something someone with a big circle of intimate friends and lots of emotional support does.

Even Mon and Bail, and Satine, all of them, we never saw a conversation that wasn't directly linked to politics or their work, Padme revelas very very little of her life. I know we love to joke that everyone in the senate and the Jedi temple knew she was with Anakin, but the fact that it was a secret that no single one of her so called friends knew speaks volumes (not counting the handmaidens).

Maybe is bc ppl want Padme to have other meaningful figures in her life so it doesn't look like her life revolves only around a man (jokes on them Anakin is a he/him butch), but the movies actually do show us she does have a lot going on her life, it's just that when it comes to emotional bonds, she *is* pretty lonely.

i left this sitting in my inbox for just a few days long enough for the discourse this in the context of to die but FUCKING RIGHT!!! all evidence points to padmé having the absolute garbage work/life balance and being interpersonally unfulfilled, and that’s not even a particularly dark observation to glean from her!! i just feel absolutely insane seeing people act like it’s inventing some grimdark tragic backstory to say a character has no friends and that made her weird about relationships. like the level of misogyny it takes to see that and be like “you’re reaching” in a fandom that acts like fucking obi-wan “first tragedy was experienced at 25” kenobi was crucified like jesus every day since birth is crazy to me. and people love acting like they’re doing a feminism by ignoring this pretty basic facet of her character because like you said they flatten anidala to her only being fulfilled because of a man (because they don’t realize that relationship is gay…so sad) but it just makes her boring to do that!! don’t fight the story!!!

[shmaimy]

Okay, I had a thought a few days ago and have been trying to get it right. But. I think I figured it out. (Don't expect 100% accuracy)

So, Pallas and Athena. Athena bursts out of Zeus' head, and confusion and chaos and Hera, so Athena ends up at Triton's camp/school/military base thing. There, she meets Pallas, Triton's daughter, and as such, is Poseidon's granddaughter. The two become close, very close. I've seen them be close as sisters and be lovers, and I'm not 100% sure what they were, but, I mean, they were Greek...

Nevertheless, Pallas means everything to Athena. Athena grows close with Pallas' family, I mean, her mom lives in her dad's head and said dad kicked her out, so...

Then, tragedy strikes. Pallas dies at Athena's hand. Whether it is a true accident, or Zeus' pride... Athena doesn't know what to think. She is sent away, basically banished by the grieving, who forget that she, too, is grieving a great loss.

Poseidon remains bitter, and continues pushing Athena away. They both remain bitter towards the other for thousands of years, and encourage their children to do so as well.

Put a pin in that.

Remember how there were a bunch of people that were really angry about Annabeth's casting? They were wrong, of course, but hear me out. Leah does look practically opposite to how Annabeth was described in the books. In fact, Walker looks more like Annabeth than Leah does (though, you gotta admit, they are their characters irl too, especially Walker)(also, i think the Annabeth being assumed to not be smart because she was blonde doesn't work as well as institutionalized and the many other types of racism. Athena's "gift/curse/however Annabeth described it" is still at play, so people really need to stop it with the hate towards Leah and Riordan)

ANYWAY I think it would be interesting if they made blondeness/light hair a Poseidon trait, and that's why Athena has avoided it like the plague since Pallas' death: its too painful. Contrastly, Poseidon gives his children light hair in honor of Pallas, as well as to torment Athena.

Specifically, Percy looks basically exactly like Pallas. It would drive this point further if the casting of Athena looks just like Annabeth, too. Thus, when Athena first tells Percy, "I do not approve of your relationship with my daughter, " we see so much more than just a spat over Athens (I mean, really, a salt water spring?), we see a romance to last the ages, and a tragedy who's thorns grow ever sharper. Athena is not just being selfish, not wanting a reminder of love lost, but she knows the fierceness of an ocean's love, and would not wish it lost on anyone, especially one of her own. Percy has had a choice thrust upon him: he will be the project child. To the best of everyone's knowledge, Percy will die at 16. Athena will do everything in her power to not hear her daughter cry tears over a child of the sea, not even she knows then so well herself.

(It could also be interesting if Percy looks like a mix of Athena and Pallas (because we know genetics are weird with the Gods), since that would cause extra pain in Athena's heart)(also makes Poseidon extra sad)

(OR Athena makes all her children look like Pallas to honor her. I don't like that one as much)

I also really like an idea I had that it was NOT Poseidon and Athena who invented the chariot, or however that went. Pallas and Athena invented it together, and Athena still uses that first chariot to this day.

Also, it could add some nuance to the Mark of Athena. When the Romans stole Athena, they erased Pallas from her story. Minerva looks like Pallas, and her love for Pallas is gone. She is not just searching for herself, she is searching for the string so interwoven with her own they are the same: she is searching for the soulmate erased from her story.

ALSO, or would be interesting to see this dynamic play out in the 4th book, when Percy is thought to be dead.

I want this to be released as a short film (I would be a great Pallas???? Think about it???? Am I selfish to think that??? Ambitious??? Yes???? What's your point?????????)

[blakeswritingimagines]

Hush Little Baby

Summary: Thinking your happiness would only be between Daemon and Rhaenyra and the children you did have in your life, you can't stop yourself from loving another

A/N: Part 2 of Small Bump

Word Count: 4.6k

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Sometimes you were curious as to what life would be like without your blonde lovers, would you live happily and blissfully with another? Perhaps having children who looked like you instead of sliver blonde hair and soft lavender eyes. Months of pain and pushing the two royals out as you attempted to save yourself from the drowning feeling of letting them down after losing the babe. Months of them respecting your boundaries as much as they wanted to kiss every inch of your skin and adore you they left it at lingering touches and small bouts of praise whispered into the candle-lit night when everyone else in the world slept soundly.

When you finally felt good enough to bare yourself to them they were quick to undress and lay you down. You moaned as you had laid back against Rhaenyra who kissed your neck and toyed with your breasts whispering teasing words in your ear, letting your eyes roll into the back of your tilted back head letting Daemon use you in a way that it seemed your body couldn't recall the last time. Feeling your warm wet cunt clench around his hard cock as you felt the delicious pressure of him stretching you out again. Digging your nails into his back and arms before you slowly opened your eyes looking up at him softly begging for what you all had been wanting all over again even with enough tragedies entering your shared marriage "Please Daemon….Give me a child." You really wanted this, he could tell. By that point, you had been trying again for a few weeks. He kissed your forehead and caressed your cheek gently, as he quickened the pace of his hips groaning at how you felt around him having missed it. "Of course, my love….As soon as I can." He was trying his best to hold back, but after a certain point, he gave in to temptation. You will hopefully be successful in having children soon. He smiled at you, ready to do it again knowing he would fuck his cum deep into you until dawn came. He hoped that this time you would be able to bear children. Your words were enough to make him want you all over again much like when he first laid eyes on you, it had been such a long time since you'd been intimate and this time, he intended to put his all into it. He reached his hand back and pulled your lips towards his, your tongues intertwining once more while your hands moved to his neck and caressed it. His grip on your hips tightened as he gave in to the moment once more. It was as if your love had come back to life, after several months of sadness. His body trembled, feeling alive once more as he moved his hand down rubbing your clit.

You softly moaned as your tongue mingled once again, his hand on your hip sent a shiver down your spine. You gave in to their touch, and allowed Daemon to take and do whatever he wanted with you. When he pulled away from you Rhaenyra was quick to kiss you, your lips collided together. She wrapped her arms around you, kissing you passionately. "Daemon…" You whispered after pulling away from the kiss, looking at him with love and desire. Rhaenyra bit your neck playfully, loving every moment with her husband and wife. Your marriage was back on track. You gave in to them and your love was stronger than ever. You gasped and moaned at the feeling of Daemon's kisses and caresses. Your hands moved down his back as you pulled him closer, your bodies pressing together as his cock went deeper once your legs wrapped around his waist. It was like you were all teenagers again. Your love and passion for each other had never died, it had only been dormant. You all were both eager, wanting, needing this. It would feel so good to have a child, one you could love unconditionally, one that would call you Mom, Mama and Papa. And there were more reasons than that, but they could be discussed later that night. "Yes. Please, give me a child, Daemon." As your lips parted once more,

Daemon looked at you with a smile and spoke softly, "I will. I swear it, you will have a child, my love." Your kisses, caresses, and everything else were enough to ignite a spark in him again, and all he could think about was making you happy again. I will not fail you this time, he thought, while his hands continued to wander and explore your body. He could not believe what you were doing, just after such a tragic event in your lives. But the emotions that were running through him pushed the sadness away for now. The love between you three filled your souls as your bodies intertwined. You weren't just husband and wives, but also best friends and lovers. Your marriage hadn't felt this good since you all had first met, and he truly believed that now there was nothing that could separate you after everything that had taken place in life. The feeling of being so needed and wanted by beautiful women that he adored made his blood boil. He would give my wives the children you wanted and deserved. Not just one, but many children, he thought in his mind, the thought making him smile. "Anything for you, my love," he whispered. You let out a loud moan of his name and sighed out of contentment, pressing your lips to his again attempting to stay quiet, moving your hips in time with his feeling the pleasure build while you pulled him down on top of you needing him closer. "Oh, gods…" You whispered, unable to control your body now. You bit your bottom lip and groaned softly as you bit it feeling close, your body starting to tremble with pleasure, your hands moving up and down his back slowly before moving to his chest letting your nails leave bright red lines against his flushed skin. You looked at him with a look of desire on your face. "Come for me…" You whispered, your eyes filled with lust met his. You looked into his eyes longingly before you kissed, your body shaking while both blondes pressed against you. "Yes, please." As Rhaenyra touched you and teased your body, you started to become desperate. "You… Daemon, Nyra, I missed this so much." You could wait no longer, as you held both of them as close as you could. The kisses became deeper and more forceful.

His heart raced as your moment of passion continued. His blood pumped heavily through his body as he let himself feel the ecstasy of being close to his lovely wives. He kissed you back with the utmost hunger he had ever felt in his life, your tongues exploring each other, your bodies pressed tightly against one another. Your nails against his pale skin were enough to drive a man mad and he was the maddest of men. "I missed this as much as you, my love," he whispered. "And I have missed you." He let you pull him closer as he let go of himself and truly enjoyed the moment the force of his hips became harder. He let out a grunt you felt like a tease to the passion you clearly felt in your soul. Your words drove him on even further, making him want you more than ever. You were truly beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to let himself go and enjoy, but he forced himself to wait. Just a second longer, he told himself. But it was hard. The temptation to surrender to his desires quickly grew as you wanted and needed him and his cock. The way you looked at him and whispered your begging pleas in his ear made him weak before he released deep inside of you with a groan.

You looked down at your stomach, praying and hoping that your child would be conceived. Your breathing was heavy, and your body was shaking with anticipation. You looked at them, waiting and praying that you would be able to make them happy and proud this time. You looked into Daemon's eyes and felt glad, feeling loved and wanted, it was everything you wanted in the world and more, having loved from your heart, and in their arms, you felt safe, like nothing could ever separate you from them and wrapped your arms around them when you felt Daemon thrust his seed deep inside of you. It felt as if you three were bound to each other, your souls mixed, and your bodies tangled in passion. "Yes…" You groaned softly as you enjoyed this moment with them more than anything in the world right now. Your grip tightened and your glazed-over eyes looked up at Daemon lovingly then your eyes filled with emotions. You pressed a light and sweet kiss to his lips. Your breathing became heavy as you lay back on the bed together, sharing this moment of passion.

Night after night of rolling around in the sheets with Daemon and Rhaenyra, finding whatever quiet spot you three could away from anyone needing you, but after feeling sick the last few weeks as Daemon and Rhaenyra feared something was wrong with you who put off getting checked as you thought you were just fine. Thinking of the last time you were this type of sick Daemon called it that you were, in fact, pregnant which changed your thinking as you went to go see a maester all by yourself not wanting to get any hopes up but laid back as you got looked over before your curiosity got the best of you and quietly asked: "So….What is it? Is it so?". Daemon and Rhaenyra were in a state of constant worry that you may have just experienced heartbreak once again. The maester looked at you, seemingly unsure of how to say the words. "There… is a small life in your womb, my Lady." The maester said softly, but he looked down at the ground as he said it unsure if this was good news after last time.

You looked at the maester who said those words with a small smile. Your eyes filled with tears, and you pressed your hands against your stomach as the butterflies in your stomach started flying. "Really? I mean… really? I am pregnant?" You asked in a quiet voice as you looked out of this world happy and overwhelmed with joy. You could feel your heart race in your chest as the maester confirmed your suspicions. All the nights spent in pleasure with Rhaenyra and Daemon, making love every second day had finally produced a small life in your womb. You looked at the maester with tears in your eyes, overwhelmed with joy. "A-a baby?" You spoke, in disbelief. A life has been created in the midst of the sadness, in the time of darkness. It felt like a miracle, something impossible to believe. "Oh, Gods." You hugged the maester and cried on his shoulder, so excited and overwhelmed with happiness. As the maester confirmed the suspicions, a smile crossed his face when he saw your excitement. Noticing you were so happy you and your lovers finally had the opportunity to have another babe. "Yes, you are indeed pregnant," the maester spoke, but in a hushed tone. He was clearly not expecting the level of excitement that your response brought. "However, it may be best to calm down a bit, my Lady." The maester said, trying to guide you back to reality.

You wiped the tears from your eyes as the maester spoke not wanting you overwhelmed. "Yes, yes, you are right. I just needed to hear it." You took a deep breath. "Please, this must be kept a secret. Just for a little while, please. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but…" You looked at the maester as a ray of hope that filled your heart. "Do you think this one will…" Your voice breaks before you can even think about finishing the sentence. You tried to calm down and contain your excitement, even if it was hard to. You felt a pang of worry in your heart. You wanted to announce this miracle to the two most important people as soon as possible, yet there was still a tiny voice in the pit of your brain that made you think twice. You wondered what would happen if you miscarried again. The maester put out his hand in an attempt to comfort you. He knew that the situation was a difficult one. No mother wanted to go through the heartbreak of losing a child. But, this time was different. "We must take care and not do anything drastic from now until the baby is born," the maester said. His advice of trying to keep their secret from Daemon and Rhaenyra was also something you would have to take seriously. "You have my word, my lady. The child will stay a secret until you are ready, or until you need extra care. My Lady, let us pray that you remain healthy and safe throughout these months. The first trimester is always the most crucial with regards to ensuring a successful birth." The maester said while looking at you. He understood your fears, but there was no point in dwelling on what could happen. The future was uncertain but they had to focus on this moment and how it could mean a new life coming into the world.

You sighed with relief, grateful for the maester's word. He understood the gravity of the situation, as you laid back in the bed, smiling despite the tears in your eyes. "I understand. Thank you. I promise to take good care of myself for the sake of this." What should you call this new life? Your child? Your baby? It was your first, no, the only child you had ever borne. But it felt like an eternity had passed as the words filled your heart with happiness. Perhaps this is what it felt like to truly live. As days and weeks passed you kept the pregnancy hidden and quiet until the first month was over and you learned the babe was doing well, knowing the things both of your lovers were doing were important but couldn't help as you pulled them away as you led them both to your private chambers having them sit down. Pacing as you bit down on your lower lip trying to find the words before softly sighing as you looked at both of them speaking quietly "I'm pregnant." Daemon's eyes widened as he took in the news. He felt the same happiness that you and Rhaenyra felt. You all finally had another opportunity to have the child you had always wanted. "What?" Rhaenyra said in a questioning tone, as if the news had only just registered with her. Her face turned from one of surprise to one of excitement as her thoughts drifted to the future she now saw with you and Daemon. "We are having a baby?" She asked in a hushed tone, looking at you. "Do you think it's okay for us to say the words out loud?" Both Daemon and Rhaenyra were caught off guard by your sudden words. Is this really the case? Daemon stared at you with wide eyes, waiting for you to confirm what he already believed to be true in silence. "Is this true?" Daemon finally asked after a long pause. "You're pregnant?" He had to say the words aloud to make sure they were real. Rhaenyra also had a look of excitement on her face, a big smile plastered on the woman's face as she jumped out of her seat.

Smiling softly at Daemon and Rhaenyra. The news seemed to lighten up the mood significantly. "Yes. We are having a child." Your voice was soft, yet full of hope and joy. "I just wanted to be sure it was true first." You were still in disbelief that you had to hear the words yourself again before sharing it with them both. Daemon, who was looking slightly overwhelmed and surprised by the news. Rhaenyra was already jumping up and down with joy. "It's true, my loves." You nodded, looking at Daemon intently. "My belly aches… I have not felt this since…" But then you realize what you were saying and stopped. You could only smile as the three of you shared the most intimate moment yet. All of you would be parents again, together. This time, it will be different. "Yes, we're having another baby, my darlings." You smiled softly at the two. Your dreams are finally coming true. You reached your hand and rubbed your stomach gently, hoping for the best. Daemon's heart raced as he heard his wife's words. We were having a baby. The idea of being a father was something he had always dreamed of. He looked over to Rhaenyra to see that she shared his excitement.

Could they really be so lucky? Even without the news of you being pregnant, Daemon was looking forward to your belly growing as the months passed. He would kiss your stomach as he slept on your lap, loving the feeling of holding his wife as the pregnancy blossomed and grew. The baby would always be loved by the three of them. Daemon and Rhaenyra both cheered and smiled in celebration of the happy news. The three of you were about to be a bigger family. "My love," Daemon said as he kneeled down beside you. Your stomach already seemed a bit bloated, but you were so early in the pregnancy, that it would be more than a few months before it was fully evident. "We wanted this for so long and now it's finally upon us, our dreams." I wanted to be a father. Rhaenyra was overjoyed. "Our family is growing." You smiled once again and caressed your stomach gently. "I have wanted this since we lost our first little one. I pray that nothing will go wrong this time." You closed your eyes as you imagined the sweet child in your womb. All the excitement in the air made you feel more confident in sharing this with the two of them. The news of a new life in your womb filled you all with so much joy and your eyes lit up with happiness. "We have to celebrate," Rhaenyra spoke cheerfully as she reached her hand out as if in invitation to Daemon and you. "We'll have to plan something, let us celebrate our future child and family." You pulled Daemon close and kissed him passionately, your arms wrapped around his neck, your heart fluttering with each heartbeat. Rhaenyra jumped with joy and kissed your hand affectionately.

Daemon pulled you down gently on the ground with him, the three of you together in each other's arms. Was this a dream? You reached for Daemon's neck and pulled him back in for another kiss, this time a bit more intimate than the last. Daemon returned your passion with similar vigor as he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him. "I've felt this way since our very first meeting," Daemon whispered in your ear. "Every second without you makes me feel cold." And every second with you fills me with passion. The months passed and your joy was still overflowing, as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Your belly had expanded, your face glowing with true happiness. It felt wonderful to have Daemon and Rhaenyra with you, sharing this precious moment. And you were not alone, as the court and people of King's Landing were aware of your pregnancy, especially during the celebration of the newest baby, your secret of its duration and birth due to the growing belly that you had. Eventually, the day of your delivery came, and Daemon and Rhaenyra were by your side… And so was the maester.

The moment of the birth was almost the most tense for Daemon and Rhaenyra. It was a time of great happiness and anxiety. The risk of losing you was something that they couldn't live with. I will not lose my wife, nor the child we have created. The day of the delivery came, and everyone was nervous and in anticipation. But everything seemed to go as well as one could hope for. The gods are good today. Daemon's eyes were locked on your face, waiting for some sort of signal, give me anything. The moments before the birth felt like forever. You could sense Daemon and Rhaenyra's nervousness as they waited for the arrival of your child. "Daemon, Rhaenyra… I am ready." Your voice was firm, without any sign of weakness. You were ready to take this risk for the sake of bringing forth life into this world. The maester started preparing for the arrival of the baby. Daemon caressed my head and smiled lovingly as you went through contractions. Rhaenyra was there to hold your hand and assure you that everything will be alright. A few hours had passed and Daemon and Rhaenyra were both anxious but hopeful. Daemon was holding your hand, and yours squeezed Daemon's hand tightly as you were experiencing a contraction. "It hurts…" You cried in pain as another contraction started. "Hold my hand tightly, Daemon, and don't let go." Daemon gave a weak smile, knowing how badly you were suffering and how much pain you were going through, as they held your hands and pressed his lips on my forehead, as the maester was doing his work with the birthing.

Daemon could feel the strength leave his hand as he held his wife's hand tightly. Your baby is about to be born, this is actually happening. "Darling, you're going to be okay," Daemon spoke softly to you, not letting even a second of silence pass by. "Our baby is so close to being here, I can feel it. You're going to do wonderfully." A smile spread across Daemon's face as he imagined holding his daughter or son in his arms. Our world is about to change forever, she's in so much pain. Daemon could feel his wife's discomfort as he sat and saw your face contorted. Your grip on their hands tightened more and more as the birthing continued, the contractions becoming more and more agonizing. I will not let go of her hand. After all this time, he would not forsake his own beliefs and let you suffer alone. Daemon tried his best to ignore the pain his wife was feeling, giving you words of encouragement and love. "You're so strong, my love. Our baby is almost here," he said as he kissed your head.

Daemon and Rhaenyra both looked at each other, each holding their breath as the sound of a crying child filled their ears. Our baby has been born. A smile appeared on Daemon's face as he heard his child's first cry. The maester wrapped the child in swaddling cloth, handing you the child, who was crying loudly, their voice loud and healthy. Daemon looked at his wives with a bright smile, knowing that their family was complete in the way that they planned. Our baby is perfect. Daemon smiled, looking at the child as they were handed to him. I just became a father to another. Daemon's eyes lit up when he heard the cry of their child. There it was. You all waited through the agonizing contraction and now, you finally had your child, the reward for waiting just a bit longer. "It's so beautiful," Daemon said, his eyes still tearing up. A rush of love and joy was flowing through the man's body. Their baby was born. He had never been so happy. "Can you see her?" Daemon asked through his smile, turning back to you.

Your breathing was deep and slow as if you had just climbed a mountain. You looked at the bundle in his hands, your baby. It was so precious to see the bundle of joy that would fill your lives forever. "Daemon, she is beautiful." Your smile couldn't get any bigger as you spoke with happiness. Your baby was the sweetest baby in the whole of Westeros. She had Daemon's hair color and your eye color was already clear for all to see. She was perfect, and she was yours. Our daughter… Daemon's joy tripled upon hearing the words come out of your lips. He still couldn't believe the moment was finally here, after all these months and years of waiting."She is beautiful." Daemon agreed, smiling at you before turning his focus to holding his daughter. He carefully wrapped her in a tiny blanket, caressing her head and staring at her face. She looks just like you. Daemon thought with a smile, turning to you. Your happiness was contagious as Daemon looked down at the bundle of joy in his arms. The baby was the light of his existence in that moment, his life had meaning. He couldn't stop smiling as he cradled the crying child in his arms. She's perfect. Daemon saw the mixture of your features as the baby's hair color and eye color slowly became clear, just like her parents. "She really is beautiful," Daemon smiled softly. "What should we name her?" He wondered out loud, feeling more happy than he ever had before. This is my life now.

Looking up at Daemon, your baby in his arms, her crying voice filling your heart with joy, happiness, and relief. You wanted to be the one who held her and be the first one to kiss her, but Daemon was worthy of that honor and you felt happy to share that moment with Rhaenyra and him. You knew you wanted a girl at the beginning of your plans, so as to not bring even more trouble to your position. And yet, looking at this child, you knew you could not love a boy nearly as much as you loved her. She was your light. You looked at Daemon with a smile, as your daughter was wrapped in a soft blanket now in your arms. She looked exactly how you imagined she would look, a combination of you and Daemon and you couldn't be more proud. "She… She will be a princess and she has to have a beautiful name." You looked down at the child and caressed her cheeks, while Daemon's arms were wrapped around you. "What do you think about Shaera?" Rhaenyra asked softly as she smiled with tears in her eyes due to the babe. You looked up to Daemon, with your baby in your arms, awaiting his approval.

Shaera. Daemon took the name in, imagining his daughter having it. The name was unique and beautiful. "Shaera. I think that's a perfect name for her," Daemon said with a subtle smile on his face. Daemon had always believed that the name of a child was a crucial decision, something he had spoken about many times over the last several years. A name that would be her own and something she could take pride in. "Shaera…" Daemon said again. "She's beautiful. We made the most wonderful child." "Shaera," Daemon repeated, the name slowly and smoothly speaking as he looked upon the bundle of joy. Our daughter… Her name is perfect. "A perfect name for our perfect babe," Daemon said, touching her skin softly and smiling at you as he looked back at his daughter. She is the meaning of my life, all I ever dreamed of. "I love you, darling," Daemon spoke softly, not wanting to speak too loud for fear of waking up his precious daughter. Our family is complete, it's everything we ever wanted.

[firestorm09890]

On Wuthering Heights and Canto VI (complete)

wow.

move over “Call me Ishmael” line, this is the Canto that most resembles its source book. We’ve got direct quotes! We’ve got scenes playing out like the original, beat for beat! I’m so glad I read Wuthering Heights beforehand, because unlike the previous ones where it just enhanced the experience a little (or even left me unsatisfied that they didn’t adapt certain things), I can’t imagine what it might’ve been like to not know everything in the book.

It’s kind of uncanny, actually, the extent to which things are similar. At the end of part 2 I was thinking about how there could’ve been a universe where the events of the book continued to stay the same if not for Erlking Heathcliff learning about the alternate worlds, and hey, after looking at so many universes of Catherine and Heathcliff making each other miserable, Dante (*edit: I wrote Cathy here first. I forgot it was Dante who saw it) found one where they’re happy together, both as ghosts, which! Is just the end of real actual Wuthering Heights!

We continued to have canon divergence in that way of "what if [character] had done something different?" which is always my favorite, even if some of it was just visions into a timeline where things were different. What if Heathcliff recognized he was just as bad as Hindley when it came to Hareton? What if Heathcliff and Cathy hadn't gone to spy on Thrushcross Grange that night? What if Heathcliff had stayed to listen to the rest of what Cathy had to say?

It's a tragedy, and Erlking Heathcliff, and our Heathcliff, and every other Heathcliff believed that it was the type where he was doomed from the start, because of who he is, and nothing can change that. But Dante knew that no, actually, it's a tragedy because of the choices that were made, and they can't be changed now, but you can change, and that's how you change your fate.

Individual characters

Not surprised Hindley distorted. I think this one had a lot more hate within him than the original

RIP Isabella Linton, I mean Isabella Edgar. She found someone who wasn't Heathcliff and her brother STILL stopped talking to her, and ended up being used by Erlking Heathcliff anyway

Speaking of Linton (Edgar). I don't have much to say because if I'm being honest I don't like him very much and everything he said was kinda overshadowed by his absolutely disgusting death. Catherine saying he looked like a prince out of a fairytale is very interesting considering how much he looks like the Black Swan guys

I'm sad Josephine died. It makes narrative sense but it would’ve been funny if she outlasted everyone else just like in the book

Cathy! There's a lot to say about Cathy but I'm not sure I can be the one to do it. I like her. I'm glad she was fucked up and we got our "everyone sucks here, you're perfect for each other, never involve anyone else in your business" but of course other people are getting involved because this is fucking Wuthering Heights

SPEAKING OF GETTING INVOLVED! NELLY!! I'm sooo glad they gave her the unreliable narrator trait, and managed to put the whole "burning letters" thing in there too. I'm also glad that when she did inevitably betray the team, she stayed exactly the same in personality. It's like she said herself, the happy moments in the past were real. I hope she stops associating with Hermann and goes to do something else with her life. Imagine finding out that in every universe you're wrapped up in Heathcliff and Cathy's bullshit

no Hareton or Catherine II, but Catherine I and Heathcliff did a fine job breaking the cycle themselves, I think.

there's probably more things to say about the Erlking and the Wild Hunt but I'm so tired

[smytherines]

Not to get too serious about something that was super fun and we all enjoyed immensely, but I keep thinking about the Mega Bastards headcanon video because the thing is...

in A1P1 Agent Mega is already shown to be drinking alcohol at inappropriate times (i.e. trying to escape a Russian weapons facility with his boyfriend). We tend to focus on Curt's drinking post-banana because of course we do. It's a traumatic event (even if it's his fault, ugh agent Mega) and definitely accelerates his drinking to the degree that he can't do his job for four years.

BUT he clearly already has a drinking problem at the beginning of the show. Owen reacts to him drinking out of the flask like this is a thing Curt regularly does, a thing Owen is at least somewhat concerned about. Curt even (very defensively) teases Owen into taking a swig himself.

So thinking about what Actor Curt Mega believes about Agent Curt Mega, that he regularly used to have to seduce women despite having no interest in women, it just makes the Mega bastards lore (as much fun as I've had with that) incredibly fucking sad. Like most things with SAF, first it's a farce, then it's a tragedy.

Curt Mega even uses the term "masking" (which definitely shot me in the heart as an AuDHD person), and while I personally headcanon Agent Mega as ADHD, there are still plenty of things that ADHDers have to conceal about themselves. A gay neurodivergent man in the 1950s-1960s would have to conceal so much about themselves that it absolutely could lead to substance use as a way to deal with it. Substance use is a pretty serious problem for ADHD & autistic (and queer!!) people precisely because we live in a society that is not built for us, that is often actively hostile to us, and we have to find ways to survive that.

Maybe this is too personal but I'm a chronic oversharer- my dad had alcohol use disorder. It destroyed his life. He passed away several years ago, and one of the hardest parts of my getting diagnosed with ADHD & autism as an adult was having to really reckon with the fact that he wasn't drinking because he was a bad person or because he didn't love me- he was drinking because he was born in the 50s and things like ADHD & autism weren't as well-understood, and as someone who was certainly autistic and possibly ADHD (there's a heavy genetic component there) he had to hide so much of himself. All the time. He was masking 24 hours a day. And I think he coped with that incredible pressure and physical and emotional distress by drinking. That drinking often made him defensive and petty and irresponsible.

Anyways, the more I think about the Mega bastards lore, the more heartbreaking it becomes. Agent Curt Mega's job requires him to have sex he doesn't want to have with people he is not attracted to. His life, safety, reputation, freedom all depend on nobody knowing he is in love with a man.

Actor Curt Mega kinda nailed it when he used the term "masking." There is really no part of Agent Mega's life where he is allowed to be himself, except for **maybe** when he and Owen are alone together, so when Owen "dies" and Agent Mega loses that one tiny place where he gets to be his authentic self, his drinking just goes over the edge.

As an Owen Carvour apologist I sometimes feel like the narrative doesn't really punish Agent Mega for being kind of an asshole in A1P1, but I'm sort of reframing it after the headcanon video, because it does make me wonder how much of that asshole behavior stems from his persistent alcohol use, his defensiveness when people point out issues arising from his alcohol use (Owen, Cynthia criticising his job performance), and the general macho tough guy affect Agent Mega has adopted to just survive living as a neurodivergent gay man in the 1950s.

I know it was just a fun unofficial kickstarter goal (and I got to make like six tinlightenment promo posts out of it so thank you for the promo content, sir), but it has legitimately kinda forced me to extend empathy to Agent Mega in a way that I didn't really do before.

Goddamn, this show has l a y e r s

[urpaperboy]

Desolation

A YV Fan Au created by me !! Mateo/urpaperboy !! :)

Hi !! So I made these doodles on the whiteboard that @itsargyle made and got going on here rn and well people were interested in me talking about it so here I am !!

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Welcome to Desolation, A Steampunk styled YV Fan AU !!

The Term Desolation means - a state of complete emptiness or destruction or anguished misery or loneliness.

This was fan product I created back in 2021 and have and continued growing along side a couple of my friends in the YV community, and while although I haven’t written anything about it, I know how both the story begins and ends. So let’s talk about that !!

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The Plot

Everyone has their beginnings, middles, and ends. Everyone's beginnings either start bright or tragic. In this story, we follow the life of Seth, one whose beginnings started both bright and tragic and ended bright and tragic too. Seth is the so called “proud inventor” of the town, ones who inventions are beloved by many people around him, including Alphonse, which Seth has grown to love and care for and hopes to have a future with. But when tragedy strikes amongst the two, it sends Seth down a path of Desolation. But to keep his beloveds memory alive, he invents what can only be his greatest creation and the possible escape from his grief. But with that, comes a price, that the two of them must face and pay with in Blood and Tears, and possibly Oil too.

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The Characters

Seth

- Seth in this AU of mine is the main protagonist of the story. He’s an inventor !! Again, the “proud inventor” of the town he lives in. He has made many things for everyone and even owns a small shop in the town where people can view what he is creating just by looking through a window. Although most see him as a bit of a weird person for focusing their life to the inventions, the entire town loves him !! He has made himself quite a popular one in the town. But of course, he faces his own struggles and grievances, especially now that he knows the man he fell in love with, is now gone. But with the creation of his biggest invention ever, he hopes that maybe his broken heart can be healed and made anew, but unfortunately not everyone gets that.

Alphonse/A.I.phonse

- Alphonse is technically a protagonist too but not in the way you expect. For the first few parts of the story he runs a small business of selling sugars and sweets, which is actually running very well. And (and this is completely obvious) he has a rather close relationship with Seth (hehe crush moment), but unfortunately, his story comes to an end. But when tragedy strikes, something new blooms.

Meet A.I.phonse, A Robot created in Seth’s image in the hopes to keep a small resemblance of Alphonse alive, sounds a bit psycho but I promise it’s not. Throughout the story, he is there to help Seth Process his Grief, and help him attempt to continue with His Life. He learns like a newborn child in the world, he learns about life and other things. But as he grows, the realization of existence begins to become his biggest question.

Finn/Jack

Finn and Jack are one of the closest friends Seth. They are the one who help him out whenever Alphonse can’t. Finn has his flower shop which Jack works in too. When Alphonse dies, The Two boys make it their goal to at least keep Seth happy, although it is rather difficult considering Alphonse literally dies in Seth’s Arms so it was a rather traumatic experience and definitely difficult to try and keep someone happy after that. But although the challenge is difficult, they keep trying, because who wants to see their friend sad?

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These are the other characters that are in the story but can’t really write much about at the moment

- Charlie

- Derek (he’s obviously a the antagonist)

- Jessie

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That’s currently what I can share so far !! I’ll post a character line up of all the characters when I fix them up and actually do it soooo yeah !!

If you have any questions for me about this AU, my inbox is open, I’d be happy to answer these questions !!

- Mateo ⭐️