#and it’s really hard it’s about a lot of stuff that feels hard to fully articulate

[apoptoses]

ajhfahf you're too kind, really!! I've so missed having deep meta discussions here on tumblr and I think there's so much in these books that hasn't been dissected. They're packed with so many details that a lot of little stuff just gets overlooked, or the significance is totally missed without background info on Anne herself or Anne's thoughts about her own work.

And honestly people don't need her private diaries for a lot of these facts- just 'Conversations with Anne Rice', ' 'Anne Rice: The Interviews', and 'Called out of Darkness' hold so, so much info about how she grew up and her own meta about her work. There's some really great info in conversations that's related to this topic, on how when she was writing TVL and pitching the idea she had to push back very hard against the linguistic stereotype that anyone 'old timey' has to sound like Shakespeare. She had to educate her own publishers on how a man of the 18th century would sound very, very much like a man of the modern day in most ways.

(Also, to diverge myself- there's three types of thinker. People who think in images, people who think in literal words, and people who blend both. Anne reveals that she's the type that thinks purely in image, picturing things related to the word or topic. If asked to think of say, Shakespeare, she wouldn't think of literally his name but images of things related to him. And I think in some way that also informs her work and the way vampires think, but I haven't quite put my finger on how)

Ultimately I think all of this is why these books are so successful and the main characters feel so real- there's a real love of the spoken word not just by the author, but by the characters themselves. And that translates to conversations and thoughts that feel unique to each character, and that are relatable despite the fantastical situations they're all in. The reader can really picture all these things being said out loud, not just as words on a page.

I think you're really onto something with the lyrics being soliloquy more than music. They're closer to the lyrics of the chorus of the ancient Greek play or of the opera (which really evolved out of the Greek musical plays), where the character is declaiming the story for the audience. And Lestat would have known the opera from his time in Paris too.

So I think you're right in that they're Lestat's return to stage as an actor. He was never invested in music like Nicki, but the 80s were a time in which the stage actor wasn't revered- the rock singer was. So Lestat really ends up with one foot in each world, continuing the ancient Greek tradition of singing a true story at the audience via the modern vehicle of rock music.

No matter how much of a modern man he becomes he'll never fully hide the fact that he is a being outside mortality and of a different time.

And now my head is full of thoughts on linguistics, the way language informs our personality, but that's a different post entirely 😂

Armand, Haussmann, and Paris:

The thing about Paris that's not really discussed in the VC books themselves is the Haussmann project.

In 1853 Napoleon III commissioned Haussman to completely renovate Paris. The plan was to tear down all of the old structures and rebuild the city; reorganizing the streets and reshaping them to accommodate more green spaces, and replacing smaller buildings with taller apartment blocks in more uniform style.

The Paris Armand knew when he arrived as the coven master and which he came to know as the theater leader would have looked something like this:

Dark, winding streets leading off wide boulevards and short, leaning buildings.

The Haussman project would see all of these places systematically torn down, occupants removed to other areas of the city while new buildings were put in their place. In some areas workers were destroying and rebuilding things 24 hours a day.

At this time Armand would have been living at the theater on the boulevard du Temple, Paris's street of theaters:

This dagguerotype shows the boulevard in 1838. This painting, in 1862, looks much the same:

But by 1863 all but one theater on the street had been destroyed, and that was only because that theater was on the opposite side of the street shown in the painting. How and why it wasn't pulled down, I don't know- no information on it seems to exist, just like no explanation for the very small handful of other old structures that were left untouched.

That theater, the Théâtre Déjazet, still exists today. But it was established in 1770 by Comte de Artois, so while it could have been Anne's inspiration for Armand's theater it's not the 'rickety wooden rat trap' that seats 300 that Lestat describes in TVL.

Anyways, knowing all of this, I think it makes even more sense why Armand so quickly grabbed onto Louis and was ready to run away with him at any cost.

Armand, who'd been kidnapped from the monks, who'd had his palazzo torn out from under him, who'd established something of an existence under Les Innocents and was then ripped out of that world when the cemetery was destroyed. Who was watching the city he'd finally come to know get systematically torn apart. Everything that was familiar to him was being taken again.

So why not let Louis burn the theater? He arrived in Paris in 1870, just as Haussman was dismissed. But the work of destroying and rebuilding Paris was set to carry on. Chances were the Theatre de Vampires would be next, and if that were the case there's no way the crypts beneath the place would remain safe and undiscovered.

And if he'd stayed where would they go during the renovation? What would they do? What would the point be in continuing trying to run a coven he was bored of and a life he didn't care for in a new location?

Armand was going to have to begin again somewhere- better that be with Louis, out in the world, than roaming a now unfamiliar Paris. And even though he didn't burn the theater himself, allowing/instigating Louis to do it still gave him more control than letting a stranger come in at some unpredictable moment to demolish things all over again.

(And what of Lestat, what does he feel about these changes? He never could have shown Louis the Paris he knew and loved, which existed when Louis was still mortal- that Paris was largely gone)

Chances were Anne might not have known most of this at the time she wrote interview or even TVL. But I think it still makes a lot of sense and brings up a point about Armand and immortality that I don't see brought up much- that not only do vampires lose every mortal they've ever known, but with time they also see the destruction of every place they've ever known or loved.

(ps: I'm not an expert on this topic or anything, so if anyone does know why some buildings were unchanged or has any interesting historical info to add by all means please, reblog and add it on!)

[maleyanderecafe]

The Menhara Rabbit and the Yandere Wolf (Manga)

Created by: Hayu Shiori

Genre: Romance

@erednayy translated a whole entire thing for this one, so this is going to be a long journey of typesetting. I was a little skeptical of it mostly because I'm not super as into the older manga style, but it actually is a pretty good time and the development of the relationship between the yandere and the main character, Tsumugi and Itoshi is actually pretty interesting, as it shows the struggles and happiness of their relationship as a whole. On the first day we'll also be just dumping the first volume on everyone like a late Christmas gift. If you like our stuff, please donate to us on Ko-fi for more yandere stuff.

The story starts out quickly with Tsumugi looking through her boyfriend's phone before her boyfriend, Shouma, finally breaks up with her and kicks her out. Tsumugi begs for his forgiveness, with Shouma complaining about her menhara tendencies: being too emotionally intense, clingy and otherwise hard to deal with. We see that the reason she developed into a menhara was due to her first boyfriend, who confessed and then pretty much immediately dumped her for another girl, causing her to become extremely anxious over her future boyfriend's feelings and being more of a doormat to please them. Shouma attempts to beat Tsumugi for everything she's done, but she is saved by her neighbor, Itoshi, and brings her to his room to give her some clothes (as she was kicked out in only her undergarments). After some introductions, Itoshi comforts Tsumugi for what happened with her ex-boyfriend, telling her it's not her fault for the situation, even stating that he would be happy to have such a cute girlfriend as Tsumugi. Tsumugi, misinterprets this kindness as flirting and tries to kiss him, but Itoshi pushes her away. This causes Tsumugi to lash out at Itoshi for being kind to her and begging him to stay as she's incredibly scared of being lonely after being broken up with. Itoshi is able to comfort and Tsumugi, as she cries, eventually falling asleep. It's then that Itoshi reveals his yandere tendencies, taking a picture of her as she sleeps and promising to make her happy, no matter what. Upon waking up, Tsumugi finds out pretty quickly that Itoshi has been stalking her, as his phone has photos of her and her password is based off her birthday. She freaks out and starts to spiral believing that she can never be loved and that her failed relationships are all her fault. Despite finding out that he's her stalker, she still wants to be with him as he accepted all of her flaws. We get a flashback of Itoshi's point of view, seeing him get dumped by an ex for being too stalker like in front of Tsumugi's apartment. Here she comforts him and he falls for her. As a neighbor, he can hear her and Shouma's arguments and love making and due to this he becomes more and more obsessed over her. Itoshi after finding Tsumugi promises to delete all of his photos though Tsumugi stops him and realizes how similar they are, both being people who go too far and don't feel like they're loved. The two of them kiss, though the latest chapter ends with Itoshi crying and trying to strangle Tsumugi.

I have actually done the typesetting for a couple of the chapters as of current, so although it's not fully translated on our end there's a lot of things that happen even past the first volumethat are pretty interesting. I will try to refrain from direct spoilers, but I will say that the relationship between Itoshi and Tsumugi develops relatively quickly which is pretty surprising, since many yandere stories take a while before the couple gets together (see stories like My Yandere Neighbour for example). It's also really cool to see Tsumugi recognize and understand certain behaviors that Itoshi has as they are things that she herself had to deal with in her previous relationships and improve herself because of Itoshi. It's also incredibly fast how Tsumugi finds out that Itoshi is a yandere, literally two chapters in and the reasoning for why she accepts him is pretty solid the more we learn about her background and menhara tendencies.

In terms of yandere, what we see so far is pretty light, implying that Itoshi has been watching Tsumugi for a while, likely because they are neighbors, making it pretty easy for him to track where she's going. He's also pretty protective, immediately going to protect Tsumugi after being kicked out and almost calling the police on Shouma (at least until Tsumugi prevents that from happening). I can see Itoshi more as a bit emotional, as he seems to show a lot of expression and feelings towards Tsumugi even when not showing off his yandere form, as well as maybe a bit childish considering his reactions, though mature enough to know not to take advantage of Tsumugi's emotional vulnerability after she broke up (because boy would a lot of yanderes jump at that chance immediately). It does make me curious why he does that though, so he's probably much more of an respectful yandere (for lack of a better term) than we'd initially think, because again, a lot of yanderes would have just jumped at the opportunity to become their obsession's lover. Even past this, we later do see Itoshi become very possessive and jealous when it comes to Tsumugi later down the line and he can be protective over her as well, though compared to many other yanderes he's a lot more kinder and the couple strikes a good balance.

Personally, because of How to Train Your Handsome but Overbearing Boyfriend, I actually have taken a liking to yandere and menhara couplings since they work really well in terms of their desires. Menharas desire attention and yanderes love to give unlimited undivided attention to the person they love, so I think that this relationship will be similar where while they might run into some troubles, the two of their desires match up pretty well. Whether or not this will be some balance of unhealthy and healthy or just plain unhealthy is yet to be seen, but I think either way, I think that the story would be really fun to read and explore either or even both ideas.

Overall, a pretty good start to a manga series. This one is pretty lengthy actually, spanning around 14 volumes, so I'm sure there will be many situations for these two to get into and be able to properly develop their relationship.

[thehivemindsys]

Eddie Gluskin Headcanons because I cannot stop thinking about him and im bored

Happy holidays, I usually just am not happy during this time of year so I’m pushing down my emotions and writing angst. Enjoy. Tw: Self harm, CSA, rape, misogyny, violence, typical outlast stuff.

-Eddie hates bathing and has to be physically restrained if the doctors wish to get him clean. This is mainly due to his CSA, as Eddie was attacked a lot while he was in the shower-but it is also due to him feeling uncomfortable with being nude for long periods of time.

-Eddie hates dogs. His family had a dog that was specifically trained to bite him if he commanded it to. Eddie doesn’t own any pets, really, and believes that cats are too “feminine” for him.

-During his initial murder spree, Eddie killed around 34 people-men and women, who he all gave the definition of “bride” to. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity, and was sent to Mount Massive Asylum. For a time, he actually had a proper psychologist before he was eventually signed up for the Walrider program after he attacked the wrong guard.

-Eddie has diagnosed Schizophrenia, BPD, psychosis, and could possibly qualify for a DID diagnosis.

-Eddie could possibly qualify for DID because he has a few seperate personality states: a younger version of himself, trapped within his childhood, “The Groom,” the dominant personality states, and a version of himself that is haunted by his trauma, and rather prefers to be alone. Though it is unclear if this is DID or just due to his BPD (he does dissociate from reality quite often, though).

-Eddie’s favorite movie growing up was Sleeping Beauty, and often quotes it to the best of his memory. He believes that Prince Phillip is the perfect depiction of a devoted husband, and Aurora is the most beautiful woman in the world.

-Sketching and tailoring are his favorite hobbies. He most often draws women in goregous dresses, and has a very traditional Disney-like style to his artwork.

-Eddie believes that it is the 1950s and is incapable of perceiving the current year as it is. He writes things like computers, camcorders, and cellphones off as “advanced space-age technology.” Don’t ever ask him to operate a computer because he would have absolutely no idea how to do it.

-If Eddie could comprehend the concept of a trans person, he would for sure be a supporter-due to his psychosis and delusions, however, he couldn’t comprehend it even if he tried. He can’t even comprehend that he may be gay.

-Eddie may have targeted women before the asylum, but once he was incarcerated, he practically exclusively targeted men-even when there was a female presence in the asylum, he didn’t attack them nearly as much as he did the men.

-Eddie is actually a pretty damn good chef. He has to be, considering his only qualification for a good “wife” is that “she” has to be alive and breathing. (Even then…)

-Eddie has a love for salted caramels.

-Eddie has a hard time keeping his anger in check, and rarely keeps his hands to himself. He was transferred to an isolation cell after he groped a guard, and he was never really allowed out of maximum security afterwards. This, plus other forms of inhumane treatment at the hands of Murkoff, eventually led to his mental health getting worse and his transfer to the Walrider program once it was deemed that he was “too far gone.”

-Eddie may be a charasmatic, boisterous man but deep down, he is suffering from crippling lonliness and deep seated insecurities that will likely never fully go away.

-Eddie did self harm before he was transferred to Mount Massive.

-Eddie’s best friend in the asylum is Frank Manera canonically, but he does have a rather good relationship with many of the Variants, including The Twins and Chris Walker. He and Frank used to have cells right next to one another, and communicated through a hole in the wall.

[pansyfemme]

i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess

[ink4spots]

More stuff for class

[anthromimicry]

[writhe]

i want to be more open to anything and everything and i’m scared

[goldenpinof]

.

[the-kipsabian]

hey. immortal fears

on the sideblog

on ao3

[ocdhuacheng]

I have… lots of thoughts on milsiril and kabru and the commentary on mixed-race family/adoption, in particular white parents with children of color. I think it’s really cool kui incorporated this into the story because lots of (particularly white) people just think adoption is this pure altruistic thing and don’t think about the negative affects it has on kids (again, kids of color) to not have people of their own culture to grow up with.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...

I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)

-

SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?

(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)

Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?

[hecksupremechips]

The anguish I feel knowing no story is ever gonna have characters as good as the letter 😔

[nadekofannumber1]

Are there any visual novels that you are interested in playing?

Yeah, I feel like there’s a lot I want to read but I only ever have so much time. I do intend on getting through them eventually tho. Im even currently on one now along side a friend. Oddly enough I’ve done a little bit of research on VN history and watched videos on some stuff as research BC I’m also just into old video games (like if you wanted to learn about dante98(the first rpgmaker) you might want to know surrounding culture of pc98 vn stuff and the effects games like Portopia had). There’s also many interesting ways western CRPG and Classic point and click games intersect with VNs as a concept (lotta history won’t elaborate now)

TLDR: yeah.

Also the vn I’m reading is Tsukihime, I’ll prolly read more nasu works at some point after I’m done.

[cr0wc0rpse]

I’m just having a shit time and feeling pretty miserable lately and I’ve been trying to not think too much about it or let it soak but it still gets in through the cracks. And earlier today I was reminded that 1 year ago today I got out of the hospital after my suicide attempt. Which just kind of makes me feel worse. I was miserable then and I’m still miserable now. Almost nothing has actually changed since then, both within me, personally and my life, and outside of me. It’s still the same

[cream-stew]

How about monsterfcking with Neuvillette? Him in his dragon form pounding and breeding reader's pussy until his cum leaks out and when Neuvillette saw his cum leaking out he tries to push it back in using his thick fingers but it just won't stay inside, a lot of his cum wasted so he fucked Reader full again with a new batch of cum and cockwarmed him after their down<3

(What if after they have sex, Neuvillette carries Reader to the bathroom to clean both of them and Neuvillette still inside of Reader but ended up fucking when Neuvillette and Reader are inside of the bathtub)

Sorry if my grammar is wrong! English is my third language hehe and I'm still learning

🔞minors dni

warnings: afab reader, breeding, creampie, multiple orgasms, squirting, tummy bulge, size kink, mosterfucking

// note: no worries anon I could understand perfectly <3 thank you for the request this was fun

he's bigger than you even in his more human form, but like this, arms and legs covered in light blue scales, thick horns crowning his head, he's just. huge. straight up huge. he has you in a mating press and your face can barely reach his pecs, your legs can't even hook on his shoulders, they're ramrod straight as he grips your ankles in his big hands.

his cock is a really tight fit too... your pussy is stretched to the limit as he pounds into you, leaving you gaping each time he pulls out before slamming back inside with full force. now you can really understand why he decided to fuck you on the floor this time, putting down soft blankets and pillows so that you'd still be comfortable, but simply refusing to do it on the bed: he would have destroyed it in minutes, his strength and stamina in his half dragon form is insane!

when he finally cums inside you, when you're well on your way to a fourth orgasm, you think maybe he'll calm down a little but nope... he just changes tactics, never pulling out completely again, bc he doesn't want his cum to leak out of you :(

he keeps fucking you with really shallow thrusts, just as fast as he did previously, praising and encouraging you to just hold on for "a little longer" bc he needs to cum again, to claim you fully and stuff your cute little pussy to the brim :(

your eyes are tearing up a lil by then, but it feels so good that you can't find it in you to complain... so you let him pump you full one, twice more, until you hear him grumble and mutter something under his breath, until his huge fingers replace his monstrous cock, trying to fuck the cum back inside you. "what a waste" he complains. in his lustful haze he doesn't understand that your pussy is way too small to hold on to all that cum, so the only solution he can find is to fuck you again...

except this time, after pounding into you so so roughly, making you squirt on his cock for who knows how many times, he doesn't pull out after cumming... he just makes you cockwarm him, thinking that there's no way it'll leak out if he keeps your pussy sealed off like that!

it's hours before he allows you to move, but he still doesn't let you go, carrying you to the bathroom with his rock hard cock still buried snugly against your cervix, an evident bulge in your tummy. he summons enough warm water to fill the tub before lowering the both of you inside, effectively making you straddle his hips as the new position allows his cock to reach even deeper inside your womb.

it'd be relaxing, the warm water soothing your sore muscles, if he didn't grab you by the hips to move you back and forth on his cock :/ he uses you like a fleshlight, bouncing you up and down and jerking off inside your pussy as you desperately clutch to his shoulders, moaning and babbling, and when he doesn't stop even after cumming one more time inside, you just accept that you're going to fall asleep in his arms, and he's probably going to keep fucking you through it until you wake up in the morning🥺🥺

[ophelialoveshandsomemen]

Say what you will about Van Helsing 2004; hate it, love it, be indifferent, But the All-Hallow's masquerade ball went sooooo hard and it had zero right to do so! It's a fun, campy, monster mash movie with wonderfully dated ( and expensive) cgi and non-stop action meant to be a popcorn flick one takes out to watch around spooky season. And it has this* chef's kiss* GORGEOUS 6 minute sequence plopped arbitrarily in the second act, which unexpectedly surpasses nearly every other ball in the last 30+ years of film( notable exception being the Cinderella 2015 ball) for literally no reason other than to be dramatic af.

Like feast your eyes on this Gothic masterpiece!!! Who doesn't want to immediately live in this picture?!??

They used those candles with oil in them so that they would have real candles, real string orchestra( I believe), probably around 100 real life extras( something which is tragically absent in modern film), said extras are all in beautiful fully decked-out costumes( which are in luxuriously dark colours, but nearly no fully black, another thing you cannot say for much modern cinema), REAL CIRQUE DU SOLEIL PERFORMERS for all the acrobatics!!!! Hell, instead of filming in a sound stage, where they could control the reverb and the acoustics and the size of the set and the bloody lighting ( they apparently had a heck of a time emulating the firelight for this sequence) and the temperature( it's very cold in stone churches!) better, they filmed in a Baroque church in Prague! As I said, peak dramatic splendour, jfc...

Think about that a second...They filmed a vampire masquerade in a Baroque Catholic Church( St. Nicholas' in Lesser Town, if you were curious) with amazing over-the-top acoustics and marble statues and real, tiled floors and marble pillars and a choir loft which they very much utilized, covered the pipe organ and the altar with a grand brocade curtain so it wouldn't be so obviously a, you know, a church! And there's a gold gilt elevated and canopied pulpit into which they put two vampire kiddies for, again, the sake of being dramatic.

And the costumes! They remind me of the 25th anniversary Phantom of the Opera Masquerade costumes. Same quality, like they're old, well-cared-for costumes pulled out of a warehouse, instead of fast industry churn-outs. With lots of trim and colour and masks and lace and feathers and..just...ugh.. they are all perfect! Just look at all the head pieces on the ladies and the hats on all the gentleman ( save Dracula of course) and the powdered wigs on the musicians. ANNNNDD! The dresses are historically correct!!!!!! It's the 80's bustle era! Nobody does the 80's bustle era in film anymore and it's a bummer. Oh and one other thing! Anna's ( and other women's) hair, at least here in the ball, is also historically accurate because it's all pinned up! None of those fucken modern beachwaves at a ball! Everybody's got updo's!

Gah, I swear, Dracula in his gold cloak really does things to me in this scene!

By the way, the acrobatics are bonkers in here for just background stuff!! Especially the random guys on unicycles and the dude playing the violin whilst standing on a ball...Like....WHAT?

Anyways, all this to say, that this masquerade ball feels sooo real and tangible and because of that it blows every other film out of the water, and no, I will not change my mind!!!!!

Here's a few more gifs, bcuz, why the hell not, this scene is sexy as fuu*ck?

Alright I need to go to bed now.