#i’ve just felt at a sort of breaking point for a few weeks

[writhe]

i want to be more open to anything and everything and i’m scared

[emberuby]

you deserve better | l.hs

pairing: lee heeseung x fem! reader

summary: heeseung overhears you crying about your asshole of a boyfriend. he'd do anything to show you how much better you deserve.

warnings: best friend's brother! heeseung, age gap (hee is 3 years older), mentions of body shaming, heavy insecurity, toxic ex, infidelity but it's deserved, soft dom! heesung, simp heesung, sub! reader, thigh riding, oral (f receiving), vaginal sex, missionary, creampie, sort of angst?, hurt comfort, not proofread.

wc: 4.7k

“Stop being such a pussy and break up with him already,” Sunoo groaned, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. Hojung slapped him on the shoulder and glared fiercely. She felt a surge of frustration on your behalf at Sunoo's nonchalant attitude.

“Sunoo! That’s not helping,” Hojung snarled, her eyes filled with annoyance as she looked at him, but they softened when she turned back to you.

You looked utterly miserable, eyes red and puffy from crying. Your hair was a mess, and your mascara was smeared in blotchy streaks across your cheeks from constantly rubbing your face.

You had recently discovered that your boyfriend of six months was growing bored of your relationship, especially your sex life. You knew it was a trivial thing to cry over, and Sunoo was right. Breaking up with him would be the simplest solution to end this cycle of misery.

“Come on, I'm just being real. He’s clearly not worth it. He humiliates you in front of his friends, sexualises you in front of them, mocks your weight, and can’t even make you orgasm but has the audacity to say the sex is boring? Hojung, why haven’t we kicked his ass yet?” Sunoo folded his arms across his chest and scowled, imagining the worst possible things happening to your boyfriend.

Hojung looked deflated as she slowly nodded, agreeing with everything Sunoo said. She grabbed your hand softly and looked at you with pure sympathy. “Y/N, I hate seeing you like this. Why are you still with him?”

You hiccuped, feeling on the verge of tears again at her worried tone. Despite hating to burden your best friends with your problems, they had been persistent in getting you to open up about what had been happening since they noticed your change in demeanour over the past few weeks.

You had been unusually quiet and dejected, often barricading yourself in your room. Sunoo and Hojung decided to hold an intervention, and now here you were, tipsy off a few seltzers, spilling everything that had been plaguing your relationship onto them. At first, they were angry with you for not telling them sooner, but now their focus was solely on your cunt of a boyfriend.

“I don’t know,” you sniffed, “I have no idea why I’m still with a man who makes me so utterly insecure. I guess I think…I won’t be able to find someone if I were to leave him. I’ve never had guys go after me so a small part of me thinks I should just deal with this because what other choice do I have?” You knew you sounded pathetic, but at this point, you couldn’t care less. 

“Is that what he told you?” Sunoo asked, now matching Hojung’s level of rage.

You stayed silent, but the answer was yes. Your boyfriend always told you how lucky you were to be in a relationship with him given how dull and flawed you were. Before this relationship, you couldn’t remember having this many confidence issues, but ever since he came into your life, you can’t help but believe his words. Maybe you were so undesirable that this is your one and only chance for a relationship. 

“Snap out of it, Y/N! None of what you said was true. You are beautiful and so incredible." Hojung furrowed her eyebrow and drunkenly yelled, “I will kill that bastard for making you feel this way, I swear!”

“Oh! But if I said that, you’d call me all sorts of dramatic,” Sunoo scoffed.

“Yeah, because you would actually mean it,” Hojung retorted, snapping her fingers in front of Sunni’s face. It made you flashback to your early high school days when Sunoo would go after boys who teased you, usually by physically confronting them in the courtyard.

“I…You’re right. Both of you. I will break up with him, soon. I just hope I’m not such a coward that I chicken out like last time,” you used the ends of your sweater to wipe the tears away from your eyes, not caring anymore about the mascara stains that were being left on the fabric.

“You’re telling me you tried to break up with him before and didn’t follow through?” Hojung gasped. 

Before you could answer, you heard footsteps approaching. Turning around, you saw Lee Heeseung, Hojung’s older brother. Despite knowing he was off-limits, you couldn’t help but get nervous and infatuated every time he was around. Ever since you met him at thirteen, you’ve had a crush on him that was all too obvious to Hojung, not that she ever commented on it.

Perhaps it was slightly more than a tiny crush, but either way, you knew your place and never sought after him. Even if he wasn’t your best friend’s older brother, you knew he was way above your league. He carried himself with a confidence and beauty you could only dream of possessing.

It had been a year since you’d last seen Heeseung. He went off to a university in Europe but came back periodically to visit his family. Now that he was almost graduating and had more free time, he decided to come home for a few months and was staying at your and Hojung’s apartment for the week to catch up with his baby sister. 

Hojung snapped her head up at him, furrowing her eyebrows. “Heeseung! What do you need? We’re having a private conversation,” she scolded. 

Heeseung came up behind her to ruffle her hair, much to her annoyance. “You need to watch how much you drink,” he said sternly. 

“Ugh, I didn’t drink that much. I’m fine. Now go away!” She slurred.

“Fine!” Heeseung raised his arms slightly in surrender, “I just came to get some water.”

Heeseung looked down into your eyes, mesmerising you. You held eye contact for a moment before you got too nervous and tried to find anywhere else to look. Although his stare was rather intense and mostly unreadable, there was a hint of concern etched on his expression. “You okay?” He asked.

You nodded meekly, face heating up at the embarrassment of him having to see you in this state—a crying and babbling mess over a boyfriend who clearly wasn’t worth your tears. You tried to lower your gaze so it wouldn’t be so obvious to him, but it was mostly useless.

Heeseung walked over to the fridge and took out four water bottles. When he came back to the table, you felt him behind you, and the heat emanating off his body was all too noticeable. Your breathing became irregular as he leaned over from behind you to place the water bottles on the table. 

Hojung took a swig of water and suddenly tumbled out of her seat, running towards the kitchen to empty the contents of her stomach into the sink. You stood up to hold her hair back, followed by a worried but calm Heeseung. 

“How much did she drink?” Heeseung asked.

You kept your mouth shut, but Sunoo didn’t seem to have a problem with tattling as he said, “A few seltzers, a bottle of soju, three shots of tequila,” he grabbed a can from Hojung’s side of the table and inspected it, “And a beer?”

“Fucking hell,” you heard Heeseung murmur under his breath. “Hojung, what is your problem? You know you’re a lightweight.”

Hojung just groaned back, too dishevelled to say anything. You placed your palm on her forehead and felt it burn. 

“Alright, that’s enough, let’s wrap it up. Hojung, go to bed,” Heeseung scolded. 

“Sunoo, I’ll call you an Uber and—,” you started.

“No, he can stay and sleep on the couch, it’s too late. All of you go clean yourselves up and go to sleep,” Heeseung instructed, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Heeseung and Sunoo led Hojung back to her room, holding onto her by the shoulders.  

You were sitting alone at the table now, scattered with empty cans of cheap alcohol and glass bottles of half-empty liquor. It was half past midnight, and although you desperately wanted to sleep, your mind was still plagued with the thoughts of how you were going to break up with the man who was poisoning your life.

You hadn’t even realised that Heeseung sat across from you until you felt him grab the drink can from your hand. He looked over to you disapprovingly, but also worried. 

“Hojung and Sunoo both went to bed, you should too,” he said quietly. His voice was so soft and soothing that it did make you want to fall asleep to the sound of it.

“I don’t think I can.”

Heeseung had heard everything you said, and he was doing a rather good job at hiding just how enraged he was at your scum of a boyfriend. Not to mention how angry he was at the words you said about yourself. It made him want to grab you by the shoulders and tell you in detail just how gorgeous and desirable you were, right after breaking the jaw of the man who made you cry like this.

If it were up to him, you would never cry unless it’s from pleasure from how good he made you feel. 

He snapped out of his crude thought. “Your boyfriend sounds like a real charmer,” he said sarcastically. 

You looked away from him, embarrassed, “So I guess you heard everything?”

“Sorry,” he said all too unapologetic, “I’m not the type to eavesdrop, I swear.”

“It’s fine. I just don’t want you to think I’m pathetic. I swear I’ll break up with him tomorrow.”

“I don’t think you’re pathetic at all, just misguided. You think way too low of yourself.” His stare made you feel so small. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Y/N.”

Your face heated up like crazy. You finally looked back up into his eyes and Heeseung felt amused at your flustered and shocked face. You were adorable beyond your comprehension. 

“You don’t know how many men would do anything to have you.” Present company included, Heeseung thought. 

You shook your head, chuckling weakly, “You don’t have to say that.”

His eyes went dark now, frustrated at how you didn’t believe him. He leaned over the table to grab your hand. It was comforting and far too gentle for you to have reacted by flinching at the sudden touch. “I mean it, Y/N. You deserve so much better than him,” he lowered his voice and whispered, “You deserve to feel good. A man who can’t pleasure his woman is what’s actually pathetic.”

You had no idea what to say at that, your body going stiff at his insinuating words and the feeling of his thumb rubbing over your hand. 

He smiled tenderly at you, trying to soothe your worries. “I could show you what it feels like to be taken care of.” He leaned closer towards you now, and you felt yourself leaning as well. “Come sit over here,” he patted his lap.

You had no idea what you were thinking when you stood up from your seat and began walking towards him, but you felt him pulling you in. In these months of misery and heartbreak, Heeseung’s comforting presence was magnetic and you couldn’t stop yourself from getting close to him.

You stood in front of him, and he gently held your waist to pull you down to sit over his lap, legs scandalously spread in front of his pelvis. You felt yourself heat up even more, especially the in-between of our legs. You were wearing pyjama shorts and a baggy white shirt, no bra. Heeseung snaked his arms up your back and pushed you even closer so your chest was flush with his. 

You were flustered at the feeling of your tits pressed up against him, and your shorts dampening ever so slightly with your arousal. 

“I bet I could be a better kisser than him,” Heeseung whispered. 

Your faces were so close now that one slight push would have your lips pressed up against each other. “We…We can’t do this Heeseung,” you managed to say.

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” He cupped your face, “you’re going to break up with anyways.”

“No, that’s not it,” you bit your lip and reached up, grasping onto his shoulder, “It just feels…I don’t know if Hojung will be happy with me—”

He placed a finger over your mouth, “Shh, enough of that. She doesn’t matter right now, and you do. What is it that you want?”

You leaned into his palm, ever so hypnotised by his stare. You stayed silent, your mind thinking of all the ways this may hurt Hojung. What if she thought of you as betraying her? You’ve always had feelings for him, but what if you succumbed to your desires as just a means of using him to get over your heartbreak? You cared far too much about Heeseung to do that to him. What if he just wanted to use you? 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when Heeseung grabbed you tightly by the hips, making you rub your pelvis against his, not helping at all with your wave of arousal. You held back a whimper. “Tell me, gorgeous. What do you want?”

“I want you,” you finally pushed yourself against his lips. It didn’t take long for Heeseung to hold your head and push his tongue inside your mouth. The way he was using his tongue was making you hazy, not being able to suppress your noises any longer. It was rough and passionate. A fiery passion you weren’t used to. 

“Stay quiet, baby. Don’t want to wake anyone up, right?”

You nodded weakly, but you weren’t sure if you were going to be able to keep that promise. His tongue now latched onto your jaw and you clasped your lips together to hold back your whimper. Your squirming made Heeseung’s cock harden and stand up, and you began feeling sensitive to the feeling of his erection pressing up against you. 

It was almost involuntary the way you began grinding against his crotch, and you felt desperate. His lips were now on your neck and he grabbed a handful of your ass, steadily pushing you back and forth on his thighs. It made you see stars. 

It was embarrassing how you felt yourself nearing your orgasm just by this. You have been so sexually deprived and neglected it made you sensitive to real and passionate intimacy. It was in the feeling of your clit pressing against the fabric of your panties, and Heeseung’s hand inside your shirt playing and palming at your tits. Your nipples hardened at the pressure.

Fuck, you were going to cum practically untouched.

You quickened your pace, your hips beginning to tire as you started chasing the high.

“Are you going to cum, baby?” Heeseung whispered. You nodded meekly, not being able to speak a word. He gripped your hips, halting your movements. “Why don’t you take off your panties and ride my thigh? It will feel so much better.”

Although you were frustrated by having your pleasure taken away from you, you stood up on unbalanced legs in front of him once more. He put two fingers into the hem of your shorts and pulled you towards him. He leaned his head towards your leg and began placing kisses on your thigh as you felt your shorts slide down your legs and eventually pool on the floor.

“You’re fucking drenched,” you felt him place his fingers on the wet spot on your panties and whimpered at the feeling. “Have you ever been eaten out?”

You shook your head. Your boyfriend was the first sexual relationship you had, and he never seemed to be interested in making you feel pleasurable. You weren’t even sure if he knew how to.

“Bastard,” Heeseung murmured under his breath. He was utterly furious at how your boyfriend had practically been using you for his own pleasure like you were some object. He discarded your panties and pulled you back on his thigh.

Your clit came into contact with his thigh. He rocked you back and forth and your mind short-circuited at the friction of his jeans and your sensitive clit. You pressed your lips into his shoulders trying to muffle your moans, not trusting yourself to keep it in.

Heeseung was in bliss seeing you like this, desperate and beautiful and in utter pleasure. He felt his jeans get dampened from where your cunt was drooling on them. 

Because you were already so hot and stimulated, it didn’t take long for you to feel it. The feeling was almost foreign to you since it’s been so long since you’ve pleasured yourself. You were going to cum on his thigh. 

“I-I think…I’m close,” you whined.

“I know, baby,” he cupped the back of your head gently, “cum for me.”

You rolled your eyes back as you felt your orgasm wash over you. You felt it everywhere in your body. You wrapped your arms tightly around Heeseung’s torso, almost like you’d fly away if you weren’t anchored to him. He kept slowly pushing you on his thigh, gently helping you come down from your high.

“Thank you, Heeseung,” you said after you had time to calm down.

“Don’t thank me. Not yet,” he chuckled. You were confused until you felt yourself rise as he picked you up and began walking towards his bedroom.

He laid you gently on his bed and leaned down to press his lips on your forehead. You were prepared for him to fuck you some more, and as much as you were tired, a major part of you was excited at the thought of him wearing you out for the night. You were surprised when he stood back up and grabbed your phone out of his pocket. You had no idea how you got that.

“Open it,” he demanded. You did so, feeling upset at yourself for being so unquestioning and submissive. You couldn’t help yourself though as you had the utmost trust towards Heeseung. 

He went through your contacts and found the man he was looking for. His name on your phone was followed by a sparkly pink heart after it. It made him want to gag. He pressed the call button, surprised at how quickly the man picked up given how late it was into the night. “Babe?” came out of the other line.

He put it on speaker and handed you the phone. You were immensely afraid to take it, still hesitant about your ability to leave this dead relationship. “Tell him. Tell him now or I will,” he whispered spitefully. He wanted to watch you dump that pathetic excuse of a man before he let himself have you fully. 

He couldn’t give a fuck about how the other man felt about his girlfriend cheating on him, but he knew you needed to get this over with. He wanted you to forget your boyfriend and focus solely on him as he took you.

“Y/N, what do you want?” the voice on the phone came out harsh as he was getting annoyed at your silence, making Heeseung clench his fists. How dare he speak to you like that, he thought.

“H-Hi…I called because I wanted to tell you something,” you said gently. Heeseung was sure he did not deserve to hear your soft voice. 

“Okay? Well hurry the hell up, I want to sleep.” Heeseung felt himself holding back from becoming violent.

“I think…I don’t think I can keep doing this.”

“Do what? What are you talking about?”

“I…,” your eyes trailed towards Heeseung, looking for help. He held your hand to help comfort you, but he wasn’t about to break up with your boyfriend for you so he gave you a stern look to continue what you were saying. You decided to rip the bandaid and said, “I think we should break up.”

There was a silence on the other line until your boyfriend—now ex—began raising his voice and cursing at you, “You’re not fucking serious, Y/N. Is this seriously why you called me in the middle of the night? I mean, what the fuck?” You noticed Heeseung clench his jaw. “Go ahead, leave me. You’re just going to come crawling back when you can’t find someone who can put up with how boring you are. Honestly, you are suck a fucking bitch, too scared to—,” Heeseung grabbed the phone out of your hand.

There were tears welling up in your eyes, but you were trying your absolute best not to cry over this prick. You already embarrassed yourself enough. 

Heeseung knew he couldn’t yell in fear of waking up the others in the apartment, so he said as quietly as he could, “Listen here you fucking cunt. Speak to her like that again and I will rip your throat out with my bare hands, do you understand?”

“Who the fuck are you?” the man on the line spat, but you could hear the slight fear in his voice. Your ex has never been a particularly confident man around men who intimidated him. Heeseung’s strong presence was clearly making him feel inferior, even if it was through the phone.

“I said do you understand? Never call this number again. In fact, don’t step or look or breathe anywhere near her, asshole.”

“Are you fucking—,” Heeseung ended the call and blocked his number for good measure. 

Heeseung leaned down and pressed his forehead against your forehead, “How do you feel?”

Instead of responding you grabbed him by his shirt and pulled his lips on yours. You felt like your body would not function unless he was on you. You didn’t want Heeseung to think you were upset over leaving your boyfriend, because you weren’t. You couldn’t give a fuck about him anymore, but fuck were you embarrassed by your cowardly attitude.

You may have been too weak to take action against your now ex-boyfriend, but you mustered up all of your strength to show Heeseung how much you wanted him, and solely him. 

He grabbed your waist and pushed your back on the mattress. You were moaning into each other’s mouths. It was hot and desperate. He needed you just as much as you needed him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, one hand pinning your wrists above you, the other descending down to your waist and grinding into you. You moved your hips up to meet his, trying to satisfy your craving for getting him inside you. 

He kissed you one more time before trailing his mouth down your throat, eliciting louder moans out of you. “Please,” you begged. You moved your hands to try to take off his shirt, forgetting he had them restrained. 

Heeseung let go of your hands, but instead of undressing himself, he peeled off your white shirt, leaving your bare breasts on display for him. He couldn’t hold himself back from moaning, gripping one with his hands and wrapping his lips around the other. It was practically impossible to keep quiet at the feeling of his mouth flicking and sucking on your sensitive bud. 

You felt his fingers yet again, but this time on your bare cunt, making you flinch in sensitivity. “Heeseung…,” you said breathlessly.

“Baby, you’re drenched,” his eyes were like a predator before it was about to devour its prey. He moved down the bed, placing your legs over his shoulders, thighs resting comfortably on his shoulders. He began lapping at your hole, and it felt like this was all that he was made to do. He was meant to pleasure you and now that he has been given the chance, he won’t be able to live without the feeling of your arousal on his tongue.

He licked up all your juices and then moved up to begin sucking on your clit. You accidentally yelped, despite your desperate effort to stay quiet. Heeseung chuckled, and looked up at you, “Baby, I told you to stay quiet. Or would you rather I shove your face into the mattress and take you from behind?”

You clenched at the thought, not entirely sure if you would mind. It didn’t get past him how positively you reacted to his threat. “Next time,” he murmured before continuing the devouring of your cunt. 

Your hand was tightly pressed over your mouth as you felt yourself cum on his tongue, your body shaking as you began to take in the feeling of overstimulation. You don’t remember a time in your life when you’ve had more than one orgasm in a single night. Heeseung climbed up once more and placed a kiss on your lips, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

“You taste incredible,” he groaned, making your face heat up in flames. You couldn’t believe he could say such intimate and coarse things so calmly. He began kissing your neck again, surely leaving a mark for tomorrow. That’s something your future self would have to worry about. 

He slid off his jeans and groaned as you reached down to cup his cock with your hand, mind going haywire at how massive it felt. You were nervous now to take it in your cunt, but he removed your hand and thrust himself inside you in one quick motion, wrapping your legs around his waist. 

You were both moaning now, your walls blaming around his cock from the pleasure, but partly due to your struggling of trying to take his size. You were still a bit too tight even with the two times he’s already made you cum. He let you slowly adjust to it before increasing his rhythm, pumping his cock more deeply and quickly.

His back was now littered with your scratches from clawing at him. He was pounding into you at a speed that was making it harder to form any thoughts. How could you, when you were having your guts rearranged by the man you’ve been in love with since you were a little girl? You felt his cock throbbing inside your walls, and you knew your climax was coming closer, as well as his.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum baby,” he breathed. He reached down and you felt his fingers playing with your clit, trying to get you to cum at the same time as you. Even if you tried your best to stay as quiet as possible, the sounds of the bed creaking were not going to fool anyone who was awake at this time. 

“Cum inside me, p-please,” you managed to say in between whines. He didn’t object, and you felt your insides become hot as his seed spread inside you, coating your walls. At the same time, you clamped around his cock as you came with him. You gripped tightly at his back, needing him as close to you as humanly possible. 

Heeseung stayed still as he waited for you to calm down, running his hands up and down your waist to help warm you and stop your shaking. He pressed his forehead against yours. It was just you and him in this world, breathing slowly to each other’s rhythm. 

He knew you were exhausted, so he wasn’t about to bring it up now so as to not overwhelm you, but you were his now. You were now forever belonging to him. There is only one thing that will let him live a fulfilling life and it’s to keep you in his life, happy and protected.

While you were sound asleep, you didn’t even notice your phone vibrating throughout your sound slumber.

LEE HOJUNG [09:27]: i’m guessing you’re still asleep but…seriously girl. i’m glad you’re moving on from that garbage bin of a human (please please please tell me u broke up with him) but did you seriously have to do it with my OWN BROTHER????

LEE HOJUNG [09:27]: i’ll kill him if he hurts you i hope you know that.

LEE HOJUNG [09:28]: are you guys together now or smth?

LEE HOJUNG [09:28]: he’s never allowed back here again don’t argue with me istfg

LEE HOJUNG [09:28]: UGH…YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING 🤮🤮 WAKE UP ALREADY SO I CAN BEAT YOUR ASSES 

KIM SUNOO [10:03]: Yeah…I’m not shocked in the slightest. 

[cheriladycl01]

Hiiii could you write about Carlos Sainz that he has a secret relationship with an Arab Muslim girl (she doesn't wear hijab) 24 years old, Y/N and Carlos' little sister her friend because they go to the same university from Madrid and Carlos always bothered her, he was always around Y/N whenever she was talking with a boy Carlos made them run away and that's how they became a couple but secretly it was due to Y/N's religion and Carlos likes to annoy her by teasing her face to face or sharing a message by pinching her side because she is ticklish and she also annoys him.

Thanks youu 💖

Romeo to my Juliet - Carlos x Reader

Plot: After studying at the University of Madrid, and making friends with Blanca Sainz you were constantly around her older brother Carlos who was … obviously obsessed with you!

A/N: Ive done research before writing this on Muslim culture and struggles, however I am not a person of colour, and do not want to cause any offence when writing this! Also the wording of this request did confuse me a little bit so I’m hoping I’ve got everything that you’ve wanted in here!

Carlos and you were two people you wouldn’t pin together. You were quiet and reserved whilst he was loud and expressive. You were shy, whilst he was confident. But it was those differences that actually made you the perfect pair.

Being in a secret relationship with the Carlos Sainz wasn’t easy, and neither is the story that came with it.

It started when you first applied to university. You got into the University of Madrid and your parents couldn’t be more happy as your father had work in Spain taken from the Middle East, so it wasn’t a difficult family move.

You were a very stylish girl despite being shy and with your outfits it wasn’t hard to catch the eyes on campus. And that was how you met Blanca Sainz.

It was a colder day in Madrid, around November and you were in one of your favourite winter time outfits that’s kept you warm and cozy, still not completely used to the cold winters Europe have compared to the Middle East.

You had this Burberry scarf on, a gift from you father and a gust of win caught you, immediately your hands grabbed for your skirt leaving your scarf to fly off from around your neck.

“Oh my gosh” you gasp as you tried to reach out for it but it just flew off into the distance. You started to run after it, until you saw it hit a girl and practically strangle her.

“I’m so so so sorry! The wind … and it just … and oh my gosh I’m so sorry, it hit you!” You gasp at the girl who looks over you before laughing.

“It’s … a scarf I’m fine” she giggled.

That day you guys got coffee on campus before getting to know each other and you’d been fast friends since.

It wasn’t until the end of your second year in university, your mum and dad had moved back home to the Middle East. And you didn’t know what to do about summer break.

Blanca actually invited you to her family trip to Mallorca and to stay with her in her family home.

You felt bad, so you suggest the first few weeks are spent in your family home in Dubai. And she definitely didn’t want to turn that down.

So of course you guys spent the summer, tanning, in your pool playing games with your mum and dad when they were free and going to get ice cream.

“Your house is insane, what the hell does your mum and dad do!” She asked looking around the 6 bedroom Villa your family owned.

“I don’t actually know, but he’s a business owner of some sort” you giggle, always too bored to listen to your father explain his career.

“There’s an aquarium in your kitchen island …” she points at it, mouth open wide.

“Yeah, excessive i know but my dad adores his fish”

“And your house it on the beach! AND there’s a pool? I don’t even know if I want to see the garage!” She exclaims.

“Mmmmmm yeah my dads also a car collector. He actually left some in Spain in the house there” you offer.

“Your like so humble though! I - WHAT?” She asks in shock and you just laugh her off.

You guys definitely enjoyed your time in Dubai and your parents loved her, she was invited back for the Christmas holidays too.

Then when you got to Spain you met the rest of her family.

“Mum dad, this is my friend Y/N” Blanca offers as you enter the home which was a beautiful Spanish Villa.

“Ah Y/N we’ve heard so much about you from Blanca when she calls” her mother smiles. Ana comes running down the stairs immediately pulling her sister into a hug.

“Ah you must be Y/N? Yes, you are gorgeous! Where are you from!” She grins pulling you into an unexpected hug.

“I’m from Dubai!” You smile and that night guy guys all get to know one another through board games.

It got to just after sunset when you realised that it was time to pray for Maghrib. You calmly excused yourself from the family. Blanca at this point knew when you had to pray and was always very respectful and actually intrigued at the way it all worked. She would be with you on campus in the pray room, or in a random corner of a cafe you guys were studying in and offer you her coat to kneel on if you didn’t have one.

She was the sweetest and most understanding friend you’d ever had.

However, this was the time you met her older brother Carlos. You were just finishing up, in Blancas bedroom when someone came into the room.

“Sorry Blanca, I didn’t mean to be long if I was!” You smile turning round only to see a confused man behind you.

“Erm sorry can I help you?” You ask and he still stands there with his big brown chocolate eyes just staring at you.

“A-sorry you must be, Y/N right? Blanca’s friend that she brought home?” He questions and you nod standing up, reaching out to shake his hand.

He looks down at it smirking before lifting it up and placing a gentle kiss on the edge making you gasp and go wide eyed.

“Well, welcome to the Sainz household. Are you excited about Mallorca?” He smiles and you nod, of course you were, you’d be waiting all summer for it.

And it was an unforgettable summer.

Carlos was ALWAYS around. He was like this little lost puppy and the only time you don’t think he was around was when you showered or slept. He bothered you the whole summer, interrupting you and Blanca when you were trying to tan, or would splash you in the pool when you were lounging on a lilo. He was a menace, but there was a certain type of endearment to it.

He was also insanely protective over you. Whenever you all would go out to bars or restaurants or clubs, you got a lot of male attention, which to Carlos wasn’t surprising.

You were the most beautiful person he thinks he’s ever seen, and he wants you all for himself.

“Hey Bonita, why don’t you come downtown with me, and I’ll show you a good time?” A random guy from the island had said to you in a club.

“I’m fine thank you, I’m here with friends” you smile pointing behind you to the table where Carlos Blanca and Ana are sat.

“I’m sure they won’t mind, come on. ¡Vive un poco!” He exclaims looking over you.

“She said she was fine, and I would mind” Carlos said in a gruff voice coming to stand behind you and hand on your shoulder.

The guy swiftly left, seeing who it was. You’d gotten used to the fact that Carlos would be noticed in public, you tried to stay out of it as much as possible. Whenever a fan came over you’d practically glue yourself to Blanca’s side.

But all the guys that came talking to you Carlos had them running away for one reason or another. Whether it was just him, being Carlos Sainz, or the look he gave them or what he whispered to them when you couldn’t here. They always left.

That was how Carlos and you ended up together. You were a modern day Romeo and Juliet. You knew your parents wouldn’t approve of the Spanish race car driver, just based on all the tabloid articles about him.

“We should leave” he said in a huff, he was always like this and a lot of the times that you left was because of Carlos’ changed mood.

“But we didn’t get here long ago!” You offer and he huffs again, getting more frustrated.

“Just, let’s just go home!” He says again, not touching you but giving you a look as if to say, I will drag you out of here.

“We need to get Blanca and Ana, we can’t leave them!” You say as you start to look around the club for the two girls, hoping they would protest to Carlos wanting to get you to leave.

“They’ll be fine, let’s just go. They are pretty preoccupied anyway” he nods towards them with their boyfriends and how they are dancing.

Next thing you know Carlos was dragging you home, poking at your side saying how you broke your good girl demeanour just to leave the club with him.

“I was in a club, I can’t be that good of a girl” you tease him back and he looks over at you with a sparkle in his eyes. Maybe it wasn’t even there and it was just from the street lights, but he looked so happy and content in this moment that you couldn’t help but stare.

After this summer, you and Carlos hide your relationship from everyone, you hated hiding it from Blanca the most as he would often come find you in Madrid after race weekends to keep you company.

And don’t even start about him at family venues. Despite Carlos wanting to keep the relationship as secret as you did because of the media, and your parents, he wasn’t very good at keeping his gestures subtle.

“Carlos, I haven’t seen you for a while. And whose this, a girlfriend?” One of his aunts comes over seeing you together chatting at a family reunion his mother had hosted after his race win.

He pinched your side teasingly as if to say that you guys must look good together. And as you look up at his face you can see that.

“No this is Y/N Blanca’s friend from university” he offers keeping up with the secret. And your look down smiling to yourself. It was fun in a way keeping up a little white lie that you were with Carlos.

“Shame, she’s a dime and you two would look great together” she winks before fluttering off elsewhere in the house.

“See someone else who thinks we look great together” Carlos says leaning down to meet your eye level making you blush.

“Carlos leave Y/N alone, you tease the poor girl enough you’ll give her a heart attack one day. Come on sweetie” his mother guides you away, you turn round to catch Carlos’ eye before poking your tongue out in a childish manner.

He shakes his head with a slight chuckles as he watches his mum pull you away to a different crowd of people and introduces you.

When you and Carlos would admit your relationship was unknown, but you knew you’d never been happier than you were with Carlos Sainz Jr.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[sunshine-theseus]

Breaking Records or Breaking the Internet? | Vivianne Miedema x Reader

Words: 2.5k

Summary: COVID doesn’t exist, Viv didn’t have to undergo another knee surgery, I’m basing the main character off Arnie Titmus (I love her sm) but I am also just making shit up

Warnings: not proofread

Your first Olympics had been 2012 in London. Barely 15, you emerged from the water an Olympic record holder with your first piece of Olympic gold weighing on your neck. As a young girl from a rural town in Tasmania, you hadn’t expected to make a career out of swimming, but with every competition, every new medal, every regional, national and world record that you claim, it begins to feel real.

As a young girl from rural Tasmania who grew up extremely religious, you hadn’t expected to reach all these milestones with the girl of your dreams.

It was unclear how and why Vivianne Miedema showed up to your 200m Freestyle final swim at the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo. The rest of her team was surely back at the hotel or walking the streets of Tokyo, but here she was. Your eyes were drawn to her in the bright orange jacket all Dutch athletes had to wear, talking enthusiastically with Dawn Fraser, both of them pointing at you as you wait for your name to be called at the podium.

“With a new Olympic Record, 1st place is Y/N L/N!!” The voice echoes throughout the hall before cheers erupt from every corner. With a smile you bend to accept the medal that placed around your neck, then your eyes return to the unanticipated duo.

After congratulating your competitors and talking to family and friends, you make your way over to them. Dawn is pulling you into a hug and praising you before a word can escape your mouth, before turning to the tall dutchie next to her who has a tight lipped but kind smile.

“This is Vivianne Miedema. She’s a big fan of yours.” Of course you knew who she was. You were a big fan of her’s.

“It’s so lovely to meet you. You’re probably my favourite non-Australian player. I can’t wait to watch your game against Zambia.”

“You’re coming to the game?”

“Of course.”

Many, many people had caught that interaction, followed by your long talks on the pitch after her games or beside the pool at other record-breaking swims. The natural development from the internet was speculation about whether you were a couple. At the time you certainly weren’t. Strictly new friends.

But then you showed up to more Netherlands and even an occasional Arsenal game, and she showed up to more swim meets. The conversations last longer, the touches lingered, the glances toward each other’s lips increased. Everything was just more… intense.

So one fateful day in 2022 during your (short) off-season, you decided to visit her in London. It wasn’t a surprise technically, you just decided to arrive a few days earlier than planned and surprise her at the game. There was something telling you, you needed to come early. So Caitlin had sorted out your ticket and happily gave you a lift from the airport to the stadium.

-

Viv easily spotted you during warm up, with your hair in the same messy bun it had been for the past day and a bright orange ‘Miedema’ jersey adoring your torso, one that she had personally given to you after her first 2020 Olympics match. She happily made her way over to you, swinging her leg back and forth to mimic the exercise she was supposed to be doing as she grinned the same grin you’d found yourself stuck admiring time and time again. But it didn’t quite meet her eyes the same way it always did. Something was brewing.

“I can’t believe you’re here. You weren’t meant to arrive until Monday.”

“Couldn’t miss a big game, could I? Is- is everything okay? Something seems off.”

“Yeah, yeah of course why wouldn’t it be?”

“Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes today.” your hand rests on the side of her head, thumb stroking the spot beside her eye which is usually occupied by crows feet that show much love and joy she has.

“I don’t know. I’ve just felt off all week. I was going to ask Jonas to take me off the roster this morning but I don’t want to through everyone off. I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

“If you’re sure liefje.” You press a kiss to the palm of her hand and send her back down the tunnel, anticipation and worry burning in your gut.

-

Lyon was up 1 by the end of the first 45 minutes of normal time, but there looked like hope for the English side during the extra 3 minutes. Viv was playing well in midfield. She wasn’t as strong as usual, but it just looked like she was taking it easy; making open passes and wasting no time in passing the ball to the next player.

But then she makes a run to meet Lia, trying to grab the ball from her feet.

She kicks.

She misses.

She falls.

She doesn’t get back up.

Blood pounds in your ears and you wait in bated breath as the medics assess her knee.

Her knee.

She’s shifted onto the stretcher, but you don’t see any more as you rush out of the family and friend’s section and demand a security guard take you to see her, flashing your badge. This was the bad feeling. You both knew something would happen and ignored it. It almost felt like you fault.

The doors crash against the brick walls, and you speed walk down the hall to the medical room where Viv is laying quietly while the medics do further assessment. They ask questions and she answers in short, quiet breaths.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“It’s unstable.”

“I can’t walk on it.”

“It popped when I fell.” No no no no. You whisper the three letters before anyone in the room can even think them.

Suddenly all eyes are on you. The medic’s eyes are apologetic and shocked at the arrival of a new voice, but Viv’s are tired and welled with tears. She looks so broken. So you sit in the seat next to her head and take one hand in your own while your other lifts to stroke through her hair.

“It’s going to be okay.” you whisper in her ear.

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this.”

“I’m right here it’s going to be okay. I’ve got you”

~~~~~

About 2 months after the initial injury on a particularly difficult night for the Dutch, you found yourselves huddled up together in her bed watching Friends for the second time. Neither of you were talking but you found yourself staring at Viv while Chandler continues to ramble on about how much he loves Monica. Soulmates destined to be. And then you found yourself staring into Viv’s cloudy grey eyes, slowly leaning in. You waited for Viv to stop you but she says and does nothing, so you let your lips meet. It’s a delicate kiss, just two people who have been in love with each other for years, finally professing their feelings.

There was no conversation about what that kiss meant for you two, but it seemed to be an unspoken decision that you were now together. You slept beside each other, kissed at every opportunity, and supported one another through everything. You were in your own private world.

The recovery process proved to be difficult but you hadn’t left Viv’s side for a moment, officially announcing you were taking a break from this swimming season for unforeseeable amount of time. But the injury had taken a big toll had been her mental health. Most days she didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone leave the house, and every day you were to expect multiple apologies for being difficult to take care of.

Every bad comment was met with a kiss and a promise to stay by her side until you were absolutely no longer needed.

-

Viv made her return almost a year after the injury, coming on late into the second half, only to score two goals against Tottenham. You cheered as loud as you could, and smiled widely when she sent a hand heart your way in celebration. You’d agreed to keep your relationship private in terms of it’s development. Most journalists who had asked about it had been told you were taking care of a dear friend and had been looking for a chance to take a year off anyway, so the timing lined up. But she couldn’t help but silently give thanks to the person who had gotten her through it all. Who brought her back

~~~~~

You managed to make it back to training in time to decently prepare for Paris qualifiers. You’d kept up doing almost daily training during your time in England, but nowhere near the extent you were used to as the multiple time World and Olympic Champion under Boxall. Seven straight months of hard work, day in and day out, and you’d be in shape for qualifiers, and in perfect shape to take on the best of the best.

Everyday consisted of 4-6 hours in the pool and in the gym, a session in the early morning and another after lunch, a nap, and then a long call with Viv while you ate dinner and she had lunch. It was hard being away from her after spending a whole year beside her. The bed was cold, the house felt empty, things just weren’t the same. But you both knew it needed to be done.

-

By the time early July came around, you genuinely felt like you were a new person. Before the year long break things had begun to feel tedious and swimming was losing it’s meaning. You were still performing as the best in the world, but it was automatic. But now everything felt… right.

And the qualifiers showed it.

You broke your own world records multiple times with ease, and every round made you feel alive again. There was no Viv in bright orange to cheer you along this time but you knew she’d be proud. And she made sure you knew she was with every nightly call, proclaiming her love and support for you.

-

Viv accompanying you to Paris was a well kept secret between the two of you. In the days leading up to your first races, you wondered around the village texting her, desperate to know what she was doing out in the city. More often than not, the answer was that she refused to see any big sites without you, waiting until you are completely done to explore the city of love.

She was in the crowd of every race without fail, the same bright orange jacket she wore the first time you met. Your ear was trained to hear her and your eyes knew where to look, she would be sitting in the exact same seat every time. The proud smile on her face made your heart flutter and it takes everything within you not to run up to her and kiss her after clambering out of the water.

Halfway through the swimming events you’ve managed to rack up five golds and once again break your own world records, barely skimming off 0.2 seconds each time.

Then it came to the big finale. You were known for your short distance swims. 100m and 200m freestyle and butterfly were your dominant fields, but you were adamant to at least try and land on the podium for the 1500m freestyle beside Katie Ledecky.

It was a shock to you, your coach and most of the nation when you had passed through the qualifiers, and then you qualified for the semis. Now you were on to the final. You’d never been this nervous in your career and all you wanted in that moment was a hug from your girlfriend, but you needed to lock in.

You’re lined up in the tunnel.

Your name is called.

You’re standing behind the podium for lane 7.

You’re on the podium in position.

The whistle blows.

You’re submerged in the water.

The rest of the race is a blur. One lap becomes 10 and 10 becomes 20 and then suddenly you’re onto the last 50 metres. Just 50 more metres. You have no idea if you’re in front or if you’ve fallen behind, but you push until your hand slides against the ceramic tile of the pool wall.

Gasping for air, you pull off your goggles and look around the pool. Most other people are finished, but you have no clue for how long, and the final swimmer slots in beside your no more than 20 seconds after. You don’t expect a big victory as you all turn to the board, waiting for the results.

“In second… lane 4, United States of America, Katie Ledecky!” the room echoes with cheers and shouts of confusion. Second? This is her race. This is what she’s known for. Who could possibly have beaten the Katie Ledecky?

“And with a new world and Olympic record of 15:20.34, lane 7, Australia, Y/N L/N!” the screams are deafening as the crowd and your competitors alike cheer for you.

You hug and thank each of them, before making your way to the podium where you receive your gold. Tears stream down your face as photos are taken from all angles, and you pull Katie and Anastaysia up beside you, recognising their efforts. But all you can think about is Viv, waiting impatiently against the barrier for a moment of your time.

The happiness and excitement keeps building up within you as you’re finally freed from media, and you run to your girlfriend, grabbing her face and kissing her. In the back of your head you know this will be making news headlines everywhere in all of an hours time, but you don’t care. How could you? It’s the perfect way to celebrate all your hard earned success. Kissing the love of your life.

“I love you so much. I’m so so proud of you liefje.” She pecks your lips again.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, lieveling.”

~~~~~

You get to leave the village the next day, and you’re thankful to leave the Styrofoam mattresses and cardboard bedframes behind. Your hotel’s king sized bed with a memory foam mattress, completed with the warmth of your girlfriend’s arms is the only upgrade you could ask for. She presses kisses to your shoulder as you scroll through twitter, many fans of both yourself and Viv sharing words of adoration and happiness for your now public relationship as pictures of your kiss spread across the internet.

When Viv picked you up from the village to take you to breakfast at a small Parisian café down the road from the hotel, you both decided to officially, officially, announce the fact you were together. You took photos together throughout the day, her kissing you on the cheek, your hands being held between you, the way you looked at her. Anything of the two of you. You turned it into a collage and posted it to Instagram.

Y/N_L/N

@ y/n_l/n “breaking records and breaking the internet in the same week. there is no on else I’d rather do it with than the love of my life. Ik zal je in elk leven vinden.” (I will find you in every life).

This was the life you wanted to live. Forever. With Viv.

[sc0tters]

Tied Up | Sidney Crosby

summary: when it’s the team end of season gala and you begin to run your mouth, Sidney is there to put you in your place.

request: yes/no

warnings: mature themes, p in v (unprotected), swearing, drinking, light mentions of bondage.

word count: 2.25k

authors note: just like normal the Sidney pieces are the ones where I can get carried away… no but frl I’ve been writing this one for the last few days and it makes me happy to see it out.

You seemed to want to cause trouble tonight.

It was the end of season team charity gala and you were in some pretty black dress that served as a perfect contract from the white stilettos that you wore on your feet.

If it was a post break up outfit it would have been fitting, your dress hugged your curves as it made your breasts look heavenly.

But it wasn’t because of a break up, no this was arguably worse. You and Sidney had been sleeping together for the last three months yet that abruptly ended after rumours came to twitter of him spending time with some model.

Now you usually weren’t one for jealousy, it was an emotion you tried to avoid. But here you were sending Sidney a message that was simple telling him that you were done.

Yet that was so much easier said than actually put to practice. The captain looked gorgeous tonight as he walked around in a suit that was tight enough to leave little to imagination.

Sidney hadn’t let his eyes leave you since he arrived. It was hard to ignore how gorgeous you looked as you were in a conversation with some of the players, laughing as you let your hand brush over Ryan’s arm.

The Canadian always thought you had an eye for that boy, it was how you let your camera linger on him even as you started sleeping with Sidney. As it felt like he was proving his point the captain watched as you made your way to the bar to get another drink “just go talk to her.” Jeff groaned as he had been swearing for the last few weeks that all would make sense if you and Sidney got together.

If only he knew right?

The captains cheeks turned a tinge of red locking eyes with you as you went back to your conversation with Evgeni “sort that shit out for the sakes of the team.” The fellow Canadian added before he placed his hand on Sidney’s back pushing him in your direction.

Sidney wondered what you and Evgeni were talking about as your eyes sparkled looking at the captain “speak of the devil.” You smirked flashing the older boy your signature grin.

It was a look that Sidney would have thought that he would have gotten used to by now, but even after knowing you for two years it still made him weak in the knees.

Evgeni seemed totally unaware of what went on between you two as he smiled “surprised you didn’t bring that girl cap.” His voice was teasing as he watched the older boy nod bringing his drink to his lips “not really her scene.” Sidney’s comment was only met with a roll of your eyes and a scoff.

It irritated him how you could get under his skin so much easier when he was sexually frustrated “you got something to say?” The Canadian sent you a glare not realising that it only made you more amused.

You placed your now empty champagne flute on the table next to you “just think you’d need a bit of help to keep a girl satisfied.” Your comment made Evgeni snort before he slapped his hand over his mouth to keep quiet.

This little spat had been going on between you and Sidney for weeks now so he wasn’t surprised when he carried on into tonight “you’re old Sid, most men your age start needing help from some little blue pills.” You shrugged twisting the metaphorical knife in deeper before the older man wrapped his hand around your arm pulling you to the exit.

Anyone who had seen it thought Sidney just didn’t want to argue with you in front of everyone else but of course he had other plans “don’t remember you telling me I needed any type of pill to satisfy you.” Sidney’s voice was harsh as he pushed you into the elevator.

Your lips turned upright “didn’t think I’d have to explain faking to you.” Sidney always made sure you finished in bed but you were continuing on in your act to piss him off.

His eyes stared at yours as your back hit the wall of the elevator “you think you were faking it?” The hockey player let out a laugh as he hit the number for his floor.

When you remained silent his fingers dug into your waist “all the dang time,” you spat only getting cut off as his lips were forced onto yours.

The kiss reminded you of why you enjoyed being with him but as you remained strong not letting his tongue into your mouth it got him frustrated “it’s cute, you thinking you’re all strong today.” Sidney mumbled placing a slap to your ass cheek and as you opened your mouth to argue it gave him the chance to slide his tongue in between your lips.

You two went like this for another minute or two until the elevator doors opened on the captains floor “c’mon.” Sidney locked his hand with yours as he pulled you out of the elevator making sure you followed him to his hotel room.

As he fished for his keycard you decided that you wanted to push his buttons so as innocently as you could you let your hand reach over to the front of his pants where you began to palm his cock through the suit fabric “you are playing with fire baby.” The captain warned sending you a glare.

You leaned onto your tippy toes as you didn’t let your hand drop from his pants “ever thought that it was what I wanted to do?” You asked pressing a kiss just below where his earlobe was.

Luckily for Sidney he was able to open the door before you could do anything else to piss him off “been wanting to get you out of this since I saw you.” Sidney confessed letting his fingers run over the straps of your dress.

His hands cupped your breasts in their journey to your ass “Sid,” you whined as his lips nipped dangerously close to your sweet spot on your neck.

Sidney smirked as he turned to face you “only good girls get rewarded.” He shook his head “others have to work for it,” his voice was serious as an idea formed in your head.

You dropped to your knees never letting your eyes leave his “sure you don’t need some viagra first?” You kept this smirk as you undid his belt “change of plans princess.” Sidney scoffed pulling you back to your feet.

It confused you as he spun you around so that you were facing away from him “need to fuck you like the naughty girl you are.” He explained pressing a kiss to the back of your neck.

Your panties grew wet “what are you waiting for then?” You asked letting out a gasp as you were pushed against the comforter on the bed.

Sidney let out a grunt as your dress fell over your ass “not even wearing any panties huh?” He ran his fingers over the curve of your ass before he slapped the arena of skin causing you to moan “didn’t look good with the dress.” You explained hearing the sound of his pants hitting the ground.

Your wetness glistened as he looked at your core “you been thinking about this today?” Sidney was painfully hard as he watched you turn your head to look at him “been thinking about getting a good fuck for weeks.” You confessed running your tongue over your lip “but then you found a new friend-“ the reminder of why you ended was sour on your tongue as you sent him a glare.

It made Sidney laugh “you think she mattered like you did?” The boy reached for your hands as he held them on your back “you are my fucking world.” He added using his belt to tie your hands together.

You grew alarmed as you felt his tie go over your eyes “I’m going to fuck you just the way I want to tonight.” Sidney leaned over to whisper that in your ear.

For the most part you two were fairly vanilla, besides for the fact that you enjoyed the occasional fuck in your office where he’d awkwardly sit under your table eating you out as you’d edit the pictures you worked on.

A whimper fell from your lips “please Sid,” you begged feeling his cock brush over your slit. He smiled hearing how needy you were “don’t think I need some pill for this?” Sidney asked dragging his cock over your clit teasing you “if you don’t hurry up then maybe?” Your giggle was short lived as he drove his cock into your core.

It was hot as you were practically trapped beneath him blind as your sense heightened “god you’re so tight.” Sidney grunted thrusting into you.

Your pussy wrapped around his cock giving him an extra sense of pleasure “don’t stop Sid.” You begged bringing your hips back to meet his.

Sidney snaked his hand down your stomach to rub your clit “don’t plan on it,” the sound of skin slapping echoed off of the walls making your skin sweaty.

His lips nipped at your neck finally reaching your sweet spot “god,” you cried as you tried to force your hands out of the belt constraint.

It only made the boys smirk increase “it’s just me princess.” He cooed locking his free hand in your hair as your moans were muffled by the comforter when your head drove deeper into it.

You honestly forgot about how irritated you were at him as his cock drove deeper into your pussy “oh shit!” You gasped trying to squeezed your thighs shut “not tonight princess.” Sidney shook his head as he moved his knee between your legs.

The headboard continued to hit the wall with each thrust the boy gave “you still think I should have had those pills tonight?” He asked clearly wanting that question to be rhetorical.

Moans were the only real coherent thing that came from your lips “no Sid,” you shook your head feeling it build up in your stomach “making me feel so full.” You cooed clenching your pussy around his throbbing cock.

Sidney grunted at the feeling “so why’d you say it to him huh?” He questioned you bringing his hand from your hair to your neck as he brought your torso up to his.

When you remained silent his hand squeezed around your neck “asked you a question princess.” He grumbled urging you to answer him “wanted to piss you off,” you whispered only knowing the side he was on by the sound of his breathing.

He smiled letting out a gasp as he was getting close to his high “and now you want to come don’t you?” Sidney pressed a kiss to your temple as your head dropped against his shoulder “please Sid.” You begged letting out a gasp as the tie dropped below your eyes “going to have to do better than that.” The hockey player grunted as your eyes locked with his.

You shook your head “please let me come.” You repeated your beg as your body began to shake. It was like you weren’t allowing yourself to come until he said so.

Sidney pressed a kiss on your shoulder letting his teeth sink into the soft skin “promise to behave?” He asked feeing light headed as his eyes fluttered.

He watched as you nodded “be your good little girl forever.” Sidney smirked hearing you say that “you can let it go baby.” His words caused your orgasm to hit you like a truck.

Eyes screwing shut as white specks lit up the backs of your eyelids “shit shit shit!” You cried out as the boy fucked you through your high.

If Sidney’s had wasn’t still around your throat you would have fallen flat onto the mattress “good girl,” his words rang through your ear as he shot his warm load into your pussy as he came shortly after you.

Once you two came back down to earth and the boy let his cock fall out of you your body shuddered “was I too rough tonight?” Sidney asked moving his hand down to undo the belt around your hands.

He massaged the area of skin as he realised that a bruise was going to form there tomorrow “it was hot,” your confession made him laugh.

The boy lay next to you as you looked up at him with a smile “I meant what I said,” Sidney ran his fingers through your hair “really?” Your furrowed your eyebrows watching as he kissed down your arm.

You were never going to get over how he made you feel so giddy inside “wanna to give you the world.” At this point it began to sound like he was talking to himself as he got up to readjust himself between your thighs.

A giggle left your lips as you propped yourself up on your elbows “what are you doing?” You grinned watching him stare up at you from between your legs “showing you just how much I want you.” Sidney’s words were playful as his breath fanned at your core.

It didn’t take him long before he wrapped his lips around your clit “fuck Sid!” You groaned instantly wrapping your fingers in his curly locks of hair.

You were in for a long night of pleasure.

[jenscx]

FATE — huh yunjin x f!reader

it’s been two years since yunjin had broken up with you, but fate brings you to korea, and into yunjin’s arms.

TAGS — fluff, angst, exes to lovers, cursing, wanted to write a super angsty one but felt bad for my wife yunjin :((

WORDCOUNT — 2.6k

yunjin breaks up with you through a phone call. it’s embarrassing, her voice sounding through your phone explaining and rambling while you try your best not to cry in a random starbucks.

“—and it’s not you, like seriously, it’s just our time differences and i can’t be in a relationship if i want to debut.” you grip your phone a little tighter.

“you told me you were going there to visit family. not to debut or even train again,” memories of yunjin reassuring you flash through your head and you can just hear the grimace in her voice.

your girlfriend continues, “i know what i said, it’s just, they asked and this is all i’ve ever wanted.”

“so that text from yesterday was a lie? telling me that you missed me so much and couldn’t wait to come back?” you hiss as quietly as possible, feeling more furious rather than sad at this point.

yunjin goes quiet for a second before sighing, “i do miss you and i miss new york too but i can’t give up on my dream. i’m sorry, y/n.”

you think of your girlfriend’s past endearing words and they only fan the flames burning inside you. ( “y/n? are you still there?” ) and at that moment, you no longer feel any sort of affection for huh yunjin, only disappointment that she lied to you and then broke up with you through a two minute phone call.

“i hope i never see you again, jennifer. bye.”

it’s been two years since the breakup and you glared at anyone who brought it up. it was a sensitive subject and you would rather spend your time thinking of anything else but yunjin. yet, you feel exhilarated. a sample of your mix had somehow worked its way to hybe and the producers there had reached out to you, an opportunity anyone would give anything for.

a ticket headed to south korea was booked and you stood in the airport, giving your teary goodbyes to your family. you had tried to build up your korean a few weeks beforehand and maybe, you could understand it more than the average foreigner.

after all, if you were to potentially be signed to hybe, you might just end up migrating there and a little korean could help you out.

“be good, i don't want to see my only daughter ending up a prisoner,” your dad says.

you laugh, affronted, “why would i do anything that would warrant jail time?”

he shrugs and you give your parents one final hug before departing for the gates.

excitement fills your veins and you are soon jittering with nervousness. as soon as they announce boarding, you rush onto the plane, a newfound enthusiasm for your future.

maybe you could meet blackpink there, but yg and hybe don’t really collaborate often, you thought.

or maybe if the whole hybe thing doesn’t work out, you could try for the black label and end up producing for somi. that would be fun.

your fantasies entertain you for the rest of the flight and sleep overtakes you at the later part. it is a 14 hour flight after all. you dream of soft brown eyes and even softer black hair.

it’s around 10 o’clock in the morning when your plane lands and surprisingly, you feel well-rested. it’s surreal that you were finally in korea and as you wait for the designated driver to pick you up, a crowd of fans rushes past you, camera flashes going off at lightning speed.

“ah, isn’t that lesserafim? they just came back from japan,” a stranger remarked while passing by. you tense up. the group, lesserafim, familiar yet painful at the same time. you clench your eyes shut, not willing to make any sort of contact with one particular member.

however, your body gravitates towards the crowd and the sight of the group’s success before you grips your heart painfully.

she left for a good cause.

“kazuha! look here!”

“chaewon! chaewon! do a heart with sakura!”

“eunchae-ssi, do a heart!”

just as you’re about to leave, someone calls out.

“yunjin! look here!”

unfortunately, the person who had yelled stood next to you and even though your head was screaming at you to run, your legs stayed rooted and you’re forced to face the girl who had broken your heart.

“y/n?” she mouthed, eyes widening. you pulled the cap on your head downwards and gulped. should i just run and hope she thinks i’m just her hallucination?

unluckily (or luckily for future you), neither you nor yunjin move away and you’re stuck in a staring contest with your ex.

she did nothing and snapped her smiling façade back on her face but her gaze wandered to you occasionally.

you thought back to your words, “i never want to see you again.” yeah, that was how it should be and your body finally cooperated as you pulled yourself out of her trance, away from the crowd.

you stare at the building, a modern, skyscraper corporate building that spoke of the company’s success.

“hello,” you greet the bodyguards stationed at the front and head in. it was pristine and honestly, you would die to work here every day. there was a cafe and everything, you promised yourself to get a snack later.

“oh, you’re the producer that no joohwan has a meeting with,” the receptionist says, “the twelfth floor, i think he’s in the studio.”

you nod and express your thanks before making your way up. despite the fact that you were about to talk to a hybe producer, your head was filled with thoughts of a particular idol under hybe. her blonde hair and bright eyes… why did she dye her hair? you frowned as the elevator dinged.

you’re greeted with a hallway and multiple doors. the sign above most reading, ‘practice room’ while the door at the end is a different colour.

you knocked and waited a couple seconds before opening it slightly.

a man sat before a layout of buttons and mixers that you were well familiar with and inside the recording booth, a sole girl looking at the lyric sheet.

“oh, hello, i wasn’t expecting you to be so early but come on in. you can take a seat there first while i finish up,” the producer, no joohwan, smiles. you nod and do so, not before recognising the girl inside as lesserafim’s chaewon.

“chaewon-ssi, let’s do the last verse, okay?”

“yes.”

you’re amazed at her voice and the way joohwan moves so fluidly around the mixer. it feels like it’s his second home and it probably was. it was like a performance artwork.

“i think that was good, we can wrap up here today,” joohwan says, “tell yunjin to drop by later, we need to record her verse too.”

even her name urges some sort of reaction out of you and maybe chaewon notices since she raises a questioning eyebrow but doesn’t say anything.

“okay,” joohwan turns to you when chaewon leaves the room, “so, i heard your mix and i think you’re just what our team needs. i think that you bring something new and i want you to work for hybe, or more specifically, source music.”

source music, the company lesserafim is under. you’re now in some dilemma because if you were to reach joohwan’s level, you would have to see the members during recording. the members, including yunjin. your head spins at the opportunity presented, either let your past relationship affect your future or forget about it.

you feel slightly bitter. yunjin chose her work over your relationship. she didn’t let you, no matter how much she loved you, affect her dreams.

“i would love to work for source music.”

you think you’ve made the right choice when joohwan takes your hand into a firm handshake, “i’m glad you chose our company! when i’m done recording with the girls, we can sign you to source music and draft up a contract.”

“okay, i’ll come in next week then?”

“yes, that would be great.” you don’t lie through your teeth when you tell him how much you appreciate the opportunity and joohwan seems genuinely excited for new ideas and samples.

as soon as you open the door however, your smile fades away as a blonde blocks your way.

“oh. you’re… here,” yunjin blinks. seeing her in close proximity brings up a lot of things you want to say to her. for example, you’re still so pretty ranging to i hate you and your stinking guts. but you don’t say any of those. you nod and then try to manoeuvre past her but she’s so much taller and stronger than you that your wrist just ends up in her grip. she drags you away while you struggle in her grasp and only stops when you two are both in an empty practice room, the door swiftly locked by yunjin.

“what are you doing!” you shriek, backing away from your ex-girlfriend but it seems, she has other plans that prevent your escape.

“no, what are you doing in korea?” yunjin retorts, “aren’t you meant to be in new york?”

“i’m here for a job, dumbass, so can i leave now?” you frown, not liking the way yunjin rests her gaze on you.

a moment of silence befalls the two of you, and of course, your temper runs short and it’s another episode of you trying to reach the locked door but yunjin’s arms reach you before you do.

her arms wrap around your waist and you writhe uncontrollably.

“jennifer! let. me. go!”

“no!”

you gasp, “what the hell do you mean, ‘no’!”

“i just wanna talk to you!”

“and i don’t want to talk to you!”

your ex-girlfriend pointedly ignores you until you stop trying to escape, too tired to fight back against the once comfortable embrace you wished for.

you pant, “what?”

“what?”

“what do you want to say? and it’s not nice just grabbing your ex— or anyone, like that!” you scoff.

yunjin releases her grip slightly but not enough for your body to wiggle out. she sits you both on the wooden floor and sighs.

“i…”

“what, jennifer? you wrestle me and then have nothing to say? you better start talking if not i’m leaving in five seconds.”

“okay, this isn’t how i envisioned our first meeting.”

“and i didn’t envision this at all,” you whisper under your breath, rolling your eyes. who the hell fantasises about meeting their ex again?

“can you stop saying shit and just listen?”

“no, jennifer, because you literally just kidnapped me!”

yunjin groans loudly, “oh my god, stop calling me jennifer!” her shout falters you and you stay quiet. a part of you is scared of her anger and another part wants to cry. cry that yunjin’s hold is so, so warm.

you hear yunjin take a deep breath.

“i regret breaking up with you.”

and it’s crazy that you don’t have a snarky remark to bite back. you don’t have any words at all because… well, why would yunjin ever regret that?

it got her famous, rich and her dream that she desired.

you feel her embrace you a little tighter again. at this point, your back was to her chest and she rested her head against your shoulder. it was like you two were cuddling, only that you were deathly upright and still. suddenly you hear sniffles and your shoulder getting wet.

“it was fine at first. i liked being an idol but i just… i’m sorry for leaving you. i was an idiot and i can’t tell you how much i’ve missed you,” yunjin cries into your shoulder, “i was so stupid to break up with the only person that supported me then… and i’m so sorry for being such a dumbass to ever let you go. i wanted to go back to new york and beg for you to take me back—”

“so why didn’t you?” you interrupt.

“i was scared, scared that i might see you with someone new and scared to face you again, but now that you’re here, all these emotions just rush out and fuck, i can’t stop crying. please, please let me try again, i won’t be the same idiot that breaks up with you. i’ll do anything for you, y/n.”

yunjin just sobs into your shoulder and there’s some mumbles that you can’t make out.

“jen,” you mutter softly, “i was so broken when you left me. you lied and then just broke up with me on the spot, and there’s still a little bit of my heart that hates you for it.” your ex-girlfriend’s body tenses up.

“the days after, i waited for any contact with you. maybe you would call, apologise and come back to new york, but a part of me knew that you would never. but i stayed, hoping,” you chuckle, “so much for wistful thinking. you haven’t changed much. but i did.”

yunjin inhales sharply.

“have you… moved on?” you can tell her cheeks are burning red at her curiosity despite her hair hiding her face.

“i could never move on, you know that right? i just had to change to become someone who would survive without you,” you turn around, facing the one that left you heartbroken in a starbucks two years ago. “you left so abruptly and… i can’t just forgive you instantly. also, i meant it when i said it wasn’t nice of you to just drag me in here.”

yunjin pouts, cheeks reddening further, “you would have ran away.”

you pinch her cheeks, “then you can chase me properly this time, instead of leaving again.”

she sighs into her hands.

“i wish i could turn back time and never leave you.”

you shake your head, “i’m still pissed at you. i think i had to change pillowcases every day since i cried into my pillow every time i thought of you.”

yunjin lets out a watery laugh.

“i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay. i became okay.”

“i just,” yunjin stutters, “missed you… way more than i thought. i love you, so much. fuck, why’d i ever think of leaving you?” she says the last part more to herself than you.

“let’s start slow, yunjin,” you offer the girl, who raises her eyebrows.

“yunjin?”

“everyone here calls you yunjin, shouldn’t i do the same?”

“but i like jen…”

you giggle, “okay jen, i’ll give you another chance.”

you swear that yunjin’s face brightens up tenfold when you let those words out.

lesserafim’s dating ban is lifted after five years. yunjin is more mature and so are you. you had recently celebrated your 27th birthday by flying back to new york (with yunjin tagging along) to visit your family.

after reaching incheon international airport, yunjin takes ahold of your hand and laughs, “this is the first time i saw you since we broke up. it’s so crazy that fate brought you here with me.”

you roll your eyes at her.

“you mean, you broke up with me, don’t make it into a mutual agreement,” you sass.

“yeah yeah, but i wanted to ask you something,” yunjin shifted uncomfortably, “y/n.”

“yes, jen?”

“we should start dating.”

“yeah? that’s not really asking anyway, more like stating,” you say.

yunjin is now the one rolling her eyes.

“is that a yes because i might just start crying.”

you give her silence before bursting into laughter at her worried expression.

“yes, you doofus.”

( “hey jen, you were kind of like joe jonas breaking up with taylor swift when you broke up with me.”

“oh my god, i was joe jonas.” )

[borderlinereminders]

I post a lot about self-soothing and working on needing reassurance. And while it’s important to do, it doesn’t mean that’s how it always has to be.

I try self soothing first. Sometimes with my best friend, I know my feelings at her aren’t her fault. It’s something small that’s triggered insecurity even though I know it’s not rational. And I try to deal with the feelings myself first. But sometimes I can’t. And it’s okay.

In these cases, I usually go to her. I’ll tell her “I know it’s not rational and it’s not your fault. But I’m having feelings about x, y and z”. If possible, I’ll tell her what I’m looking for (like reassurance).

She’s always very happy to offer me that reassurance. She knows that I’ve come so far and worked hard and if she can reassure me, she’s often happy to in order to make it easier for me.

I’m going to share my most recent example under the read more for a real life example of how I applied this.

But my overall point is that it is absolutely okay to ask for reassurance and sometimes you need to. It’s just important to do it in a healthy way.

A few weeks ago, she was overwhelmed and busy. I offered to watch her dog for her while she was working. I didn’t get a response back because she was thinking about it.

And then I found out someone else was watching her dog.

I felt a lot of confusing emotions. I felt angry. I also felt insecure, like she didn’t trust me. I was frustrated at her and the person now watching her dog. I felt jealous.

I used skills to try and cope with these feelings. I didn’t lash out at her. I tried using logic to suggest alternatives to myself. Perhaps it wasn’t personal that she picked someone else. Maybe it was for logistical reasons. It was probably just easier for her.

I tried to sleep on it, but the feelings were growing. No matter what coping skills I used. Sometimes, the coping skills don’t work to self soothe or talk myself through it.

I was feeling annoyed for small things and I knew that it wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t done something wrong. But I decided to talk to her about it. I didn’t want the feelings growing and causing issues and they weren’t going to sort themselves out.

Here are copy and pastes from our actual conversation :

Me: My explanation for feeling hurt is that **** told me she was taking Storm and I felt hurt because I offered twice and you didn’t respond at all to it. It made me feel like I did something wrong to break your trust. I am really emotionally sensitive right now and I know I’m having an *extremely* heightened emotional reaction to it but I can’t seem to let go of the bad feelings. And I know it’s not your fault. But also it just feels bad and I feel like I need to tell you about these feelings because I can’t let them go on my own. I could really use some reassurance.

Her: That’s so valid.

If context helps you feel less BPD, I was actually trying to figure whether to leave Storm at home or bring her to you but I needed to know my new start time at work with the new schedule before I’d know if I could make the timing work to drop her off with you after the ferry.

Then *** was sad about the breakup with *** and I offered to lend her Storm as an emotional support animal. I know she really struggles with being alone when she is sad. And I decided I could do without my dog temporarily. I can see how it would’ve seemed like I preferred having **** watch Storm.

But your BPD is very valid, I probably would’ve felt the same way under the circumstances. I hope you have a great day and I hope you know I love you. Also that I think you’re great with dogs and would have 100% wanted you to watch Storm this week.

-

( The name of the person watching her dog are blacked out for privacy reasons.) While she didn’t need to share the context, she chose to do that so she could better offer reassurance. I also want to point out that she validated my feelings. My emotional reaction was heightened but she still validated me. She also then offered reassurance for my specific concern (that I wasn’t trusted). She was patient and understanding. I was valid to need reassurance but her reaction to it was super valid and why it felt so safe to seek reassurance from her.

[wolfjackle-creates]

WIP Wednesday

Enjoy another snippet of the fic about ghost Robin haunting Jason! I really need to think up a title. Maybe I'll brainstorm some ideas and put out a poll to see what everyone likes.

Part 1 is here

And onto part 2 (1.2k words)!

-----

Looks like he was breaking his promise to Jazz to not do any ghostly business tonight. Of course Jazz’s boyfriend would be haunted by a ghost that needed help. Why was he even surprised? He adjusted the strap of his backpack to hold it more firmly. Hopefully something he’d brought would be enough and it’d be just a matter of getting Robin alone for a few minutes.

Jazz let go of Danny’s hand to take Jason’s as he led them down a hallway. Robin tightened his grip on Alfred before letting go and giving Danny a sad smile. Both Jason and Robin would point to objects and rooms as they passed. Danny paid extra attention to the items Robin pointed out that Jason ignored: a crack in the wall, a mark that had never been painted over, the chandelier he decided to hang from for a few seconds.

Voices echoed out of one of the upcoming rooms, and Jason slowed. Jazz leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Robin had the opposite reaction and shot a grin at Danny and flew to the doorway, waving him to come inside.

Danny couldn’t help but smile back at his obvious excitement. Jazz caught his expression and narrowed her eyes at him. Oh, she was not going to let this go.

With a deep breath, Jason entered the room, Jazz and Danny right behind him. “Hey everyone, this is Jazz’s brother Danny.”

Inside, too many people were gathered on a collection of chairs and couches. One man was sitting upside down on a chair, his feet on the back cushion and head inches from the ground. He grinned at them and did a flip that somehow ended with him on his feet and halfway across the room in the space of a breath. Robin cartwheeled to him.

“Hey, Danny, I’m Jason’s older brother Dick! Glad you could make it. Jazz says you’re always busy.” He held out his hand to shake, unknowingly passing it right through Robin.

Danny couldn’t help but look at where the arm passed through the ghost, but did have the wherewithal to shake Dick’s hand.

“Dick? You really use that by choice?” The words were out of his mouth before he could think. Embarrassed, he slapped his other hand over his mouth at the same time Jazz hissed a warning at him. “Shit! I mean—”

Only to be cut off by everyone laughing. Dick waved off his apology. “My parents were immigrants and it’s what they called me. After they died, I decided to stick with it. Don’t worry, I’ve heard all the jokes.”

“He’s made most of them, too,” added another black-haired boy. This one looked to be close to Danny’s age. “I’m Tim. We’re glad you could make it. Jazz mentioned you’re usually busy with work?”

Danny rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah. But I spent the last few weeks making sure I could get tonight free with minimal chance of interruption.” Not that it worked, his eyes flicked to Robin who was now hugging Bruce Wayne, the only person of the bunch he recognized on sight. And, what was that feeling radiating off Bruce Wayne? It was like liminality, but not quite. Had he died?

“Welcome to my home, Danny,” Bruce Wayne stood and came over to shake his hand with a wide grin on his face. “I’m Bruce and these are my kids.”

“Oi! Don’t call me your kid!” protested a blonde girl. “Hey there, I’m Steph and I’m just here for the food and to give Jason a hard time.” She also felt strange. Not a ghost, but the touch of death lingered. What sort of family had Jazz gotten involved in?

The rest of the group introduced themselves. Both Damian and Cass were liminal as well. So, out of the ten people he’d met tonight, three of them had died and two were as liminal as Sam, Tucker, and Jazz.

Completely ignoring the fact that Danny was trying to come to terms with all the death in what was supposed to be a normal rich family, Robin was doing even more antics to get his attention. He greeted Dick just as warmly as he had Bruce and Alfred. Cass, Tim, and Damian were the other three he seemed to like the most, though they didn’t get hugs. He didn’t react at all to Steph or Duke. He sat on Barbara’s lap for a minute, too, before returning to Dick’s side.

No one noticed the ghost desperate for their attention. Not even Jazz.

Barbara took the time to point out where the drinks were located and Danny looked over the selection of pop before grabbing a coke. He closed his eyes at the satisfying sound of the tab opening and sighed at the first taste.

One of the boys laughed and said, “You’re acting like you haven’t had a coke before.”

“Nope. I’m acting like I love coke and haven’t had any pop at all in ages.” He plopped down on a couch next to Jazz who ruffled his hair.

“Have you been traveling that long?”

Danny shrugged. “How long ago was our last phone call?”

“You don’t remember? Last week.”

“Grandpa had me doing favors for him. He dropped me off this morning.”

Jazz huffed in the way that indicated she was very annoyed. But it’s not like Danny could just not do the things Clockwork asked of him. Besides, his most recent trip was fun. He’d gone to another planet! He couldn’t wait until he could tell Jazz all about it.

Jason looked at them curiously. “You’ve never mentioned a grandfather before, Jazz.”

“Oh, he’s not really our grandfather. Just someone who helped Danny out once and decided to stick around. They’ve gotten close over the past few years. He’s fond of me, too, but we don’t have the same relationship.”

“Grandpa’s great. If infuriating at times. But favors for him are always interesting.”

“Next time feel free to invite him,” offered Bruce.

The image of Clockwork in Wayne Manor caused Danny to snort into his coke. “I don’t think he’d fit in here,” was all he said. Though maybe Robin would appreciate another ghostly visitor.

Dick did a cartwheel and landed upside down on an armchair. “What, too uptight for the likes of us?”

The last prank he and Clockwork had played on the Observants played in his mind and he smiled wider. “Not at all. You just come from different worlds.”

“I’ll have you know I grew up on the streets in Crime Alley.”

“I was a circus performer.”

“I was raised a rich kid through and through, but I hardly spend times in the upper echelons of society.”

“My dad’s in prison.”

“I’m a librarian.”

“I’m a foster kid.”

Danny held a hand up and laughed. They were still from different worlds, but he couldn’t explain he meant Earth versus the Infinite Realms. “I get it, I get it. I’ll let him know next time.”

“If he’s still in the area, you should invite him,” said Dick. “Alfred’s food is to die for.” Robin was hanging upside down next to Dick nodding solemnly.

Danny tried to stop himself, he really did. He even managed to keep from saying he’d been there done that, but he couldn’t keep from laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

-----

Part 3

And for the tag list!

@addie-lover-of-stories, @justwannabecat, @gin2212, @amercurio, @regonold, @overtherose, @readerzj, @sjrose1216, @echoednonny, @deeterzz, @blu-lilac, @number-one-jew

[yandere-romanticaa]

To the anon who was asking abt sex! Here’s my two cents based off of experience..

1. Cockwarming is not like,,, pleasurable. Like when I read fics abt it and the reader is all squirmy and whatever it really doesn’t make sense. If the guy isn’t moving then it doesn’t really feel like anything, and it gets a little uncomfortable after a few minutes of no movement. It’s kinda like using a tampon. I definitely think that the pleasure derived from this is more mental than physical. Only the guy really gets anything physical out of it.

This kind applies to vibrators too. Like internal vibrators are not crazy stimulating but it is enough to make you distracted. But to each their own I suppose.

2. Sex in general. Internal stimulation (P in V) is good, and if I had to describe it I would say it feels like a bruise repeatedly. It’s hard to describe. Like it hurts but not in an ‘ow’ way, it feels good. Definitely a feeling that gets the legs shaking after repeated thrusting against that spot.

BUT, I cant finish without stimulation to my clit. It’s definitely different for everybody, but in my case I need clitorial stimulation or else it just feels like I’m on the edge the whole time (which, by the way, is a very unsatisfying feeling).

And thrusting it all in like in one go isn’t possible, remember that your vagina is one giant muscle, and when you stretch a muscle to hard and fast it strains and it doesn’t feel good. Foreplay is very helpful bc it loosens you up first, but even then you can’t force it in at one go. You kinda gotta start with the tip first and use short movements to slowly fit the whole thing in.

AND YES!!! THE STRETCH HURTS!!!! If you aren’t prepared properly or your partner just shoves it in it feels like your skin is being stretched (like a rubber band being stretched so much that it’s about to snap) and it’s a sharp pain and you could tear. SO FOREPLAY MATTERS!!!!

3. Cervix stuff… 😭😭😭 Guys. You can NOT thrust into the cervix. These fics are LYING TO YOU!!! It’s literally like trying to thrust through bone, the cervix is hard and even inserting thin items like a Q tip fucking HURTS. Unless it’s like monster fucking with ovipositors then it’s just straight unrealistic. A díck can NOT push through.

Some women find it painful even when their cervix is just thrusted against. (It doesn’t hurt for me so I don’t mind but majority of all the gals I’ve spoken to DONT like it. One of my friends even threw up during sex one time from the pain.)

4. Mind break. Not a real thing. Sorry. After so many rounds, no matter how high your drive is, the sex just starts to feel uncomfortable. Don’t push yourself past that point, listen to your body and know your limits. Because once it feels uncomfortable it kinda starts to hurt. This applies for the guys too. It just stops feeling good after a while and you leave that sort of lust-haze and become very lucid (post-nut clarity LMAOOO), which also makes you feel the discomfort even more.

So yeah, mind break via sex just isn’t a thing because your body literally has a limit. Overstimulation is real but your body has limits for that too. Like after so many orgasms I can’t touch my clit or it feels like a sharp pain. (Again, everyone is different but that’s just me)

And yeah. That’s all I can rlly think of.

This was an interesting read!!!!! I think that smut may or may not have poisoned my brain a little bit so this felt like a breath of fresh air. Of course, one should never take smut too seriously as it is primarily for entertainment, but it really does feel like things can mess you up if you're an inexperienced pookie such as myself!

Truth be told, sex scares me. Like, a lot.

I am in my early 20's and there is this societal expectation that I need a boyfriend. I also live in a fairly conservative country which honestly doesn't help me at all. And it's low key expected from couples to just go at a few months into the relationship, sometimes even after a few weeks depending on the person. That's how most of my friends/acquaintances did it anyway.

Just the thought of a man seeing me so naked and vulnerable like that, it brings tears to my eyes. It legit scares me so much. Buddy, if you see me in my birthday suit you are NOT going anywhere LMAO, you'll have to marry me, I'm sorry -

I've been called an uptight and boring prude for having this kind of mentality and I get it. But I can't help it, I just can't. I don't think I'll ever be able to have that kind of physical connection with anyone unless I know them inside and out 😓 I'm too scared and too insecure for my own good... I also have a few stretch marks on my stomach, which I really hate, I really do. I don't think I could handle the humiliation of another person ever seeing them.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  steddieasitgoes! @steddieasitgoes has 27 works posted to AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 23 of them are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @steddieasitgoes:

Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours)

for a fortnight there, we were forever

honey i'm still free (take a chance on me)

You Were All Yellow

Eat Your Heart Out, Big Boy

"Her fics are SO FUN. I have enjoyed every single one that I've read IMMENSELY and am always talking about them to my friends after I've read them <3" -- anonymous

Below the cut, @steddieasitgoes answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Was I supposed to watch Eddie throw Steve his vest – the quintessential 80s romcom moment – and be totally normal about it? But in all honesty, there’s just something about them that compels me. When you dig deep into their personalities and arcs, they’re really two sides of the same coin and there’s so many ways for that to manifest in fic.hen

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I had to consult my ao3 bookmarks for this one and “getting together” tops my list, which really isn’t a traditional trope but I absolutely adore that mutual pining, idiots in love sort of thing that happens in those fics. Bonus points for slow burns!

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Idiots in love for sure. Again, not a typical trope but I’m pretty sure it’s tagged on just about every fic I’ve written. It’s just so easy to slot them into those roles and banter their way into a love confession. The show is so life and death all the time, that I like letting them be goofy boys.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

This is like asking me to choose if I’m more of a Steve girl or an Eddie girl – impossible! But if I had to narrow it down to a top few, I’d say: the most remarkable thing by greatunironic, rounding third, sliding home by througheden, better by you, better than me by palmviolet, and is your light on? By Adure

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Outside of fic I’m a huge fan of enemies/rivals to lovers so I think that would be fun to explore between Steddie. There’s a hint of it in Signed, Sealed, Delivered but I think their hatred fizzles out really quickly and I definitely want to play with something where that takes longer to happen.

What is your writing process like?

It sort of depends on the project, but typically I get a kernel of an idea. Somethings that’s a setting, sometime it’s a bit of dialogue, sometimes it’s just ✨ vibes ✨ Then I’ll add it to my jumbled mess of a notes app on my phone and keep adding to it as I get ideas. When I wrote my first fic (Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore) I had no outline whatsoever. I just knew I had this one scene in mind and kept writing and building the world until I felt the moment made sense to happen. Nowadays, I’m a bit more organized when it comes to longer fics. I’ll usually do a bare bones outline with the major beats I want to hit outlined. This gives me enough structure to not feel lost, but also lets the characters breath one the page and make their own choices. Every fic, but the one I’m working on now for the steddie big bang, I’ve written chronologically which helps me because I can see the progression of the relationship dynamics in real time.  For one shots, it’s somewhat similar. I start with a kernel of an idea and a general plot in my head and just write and hope for the best lol

Do you have any writing quirks?

I think I use the same sentence structure a lot which drives me nuts, but I can’t always help it. Motif-wise I don’t think I have a unifying theme amongst all my fics, but I can almost guarantee that there will be some kind of third act break up. Happily ever afters are always going to be in my fics, but I like to make them work for it. Also they do a lot of gazing at each other and things in my fics. So much gazing!

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Generally, I like posting when something is completely finished. But I get antsy and have been known to start posting when the fic is 85% done and then procrastinate on writing the end until my deadline is looming.

Which fic are you most proud of?

I’m proud of all of them for different reasons, but I was really blown away with Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore. I hadn’t written fic in years and had never written a third-person mlm story before. At the time it was also the longest thing I had ever written. It definitely made me fall back in love with fictional prose writing and the steddie community as a whole.

How did you get the idea for Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours)?

It was actually inspired by a ficlet I had written earlier that year and decided to use as inspiration for the full length fic. I was driving around and I kept seeing mail trucks everywhere and I remember getting an image of Steve in those short khaki shorts, carrying a satchel full of mail. And then I remember thinking “I wonder what Eddie would think” and the worms took over. I will say, expanding it into a full fic did take some time though because the ficlet was just vibes

When writing Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours), what was something you didn’t expect?

How long it ended up being lol I think it came in double what I had predicted it to be. I also didn’t expect to write it in the way I did. All my other fics are very traditional in that each chapter is a day or a couple days and it follows a clear timeline. With Signed I really went for a vignette, slice of life sort of storytelling which was a bit difficult initially but I think it paid off in the end.

What inspired honey i'm still free (take a chance on me)?

That one was written for a valentine’s discord server so it was based on the prompt steddiealltheway on Tumblr had submitted. It took me a minute to work out the plot, but I liked the idea of Robin getting to be the wingwoman for Steve.

What was your favorite part to write from for a fortnight there, we were forever?

There was a metaness to that one that was so fun to write. You have Eddie falling in love with Supernatural, a show that was known for making questionable decisions in the end and talking about how fanfic saves the day and that’s exactly what I’ve spent the last two years doing for him lol I love the idea of Eddie being a fandom kid like all of us, and dragging and unknowing Steve into it with him.

How do/did you feel writing Eat Your Heart Out, Big Boy?

At the time I think I just wanted to write something fun and silly because I was deep into Signed, Sealed, Delivered at the time and was feeling bad about not sharing anything. It was like a palette cleanser.

What was the most difficult part of writing You Were All Yellow?

Definitely deciding which yellow objects I was going to use and figuring out how to string them together in a clear narrative arc. It was a puzzle of sorts that took a lot of patience to figure out. It was also a bit reverse-engineered where the objects dictated what the story would be. I think it would have been easier if I had the story first and then found things that fit that narrative.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I struggle with writing poetically, so I was really proud of this line from Duck, Dodge, Don’t Fall In Love: “He feels like an astronomer falling in love with stars for the first time in the untouchable night sky. Because that’s what Steve is, right? A dazzling force that Eddie can steal glances at but never touch, never reach.” But also any and all smut scenes I’ve written. That was an incredible challenge at first and I literally wrote the first make out scene ever under the covers of my bed lol

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I’m planning to participate in this year’s Steddie Week with some (hopefully) short one shots. And then I have my big bang fic When The Buzzer Sounds that will come out later this year. Other than that we’ll see. My notes are overflowing with ideas it’s all about finding the time and the right one.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

As I write this I’m not sure who nominated me, but I want to say thank you to them! It’s so wild to me that people resonate with the silly stories my brain comes up with and I’ll never take that for granted. There’s so many creative steddie fic writers out there and I’m so happy to be one of them. We really blew up overnight and it’s been so fun watching everyone grow together. And I want to thank all the mods behind this blog for helping share writers hardwork!

Thank you to our author, @steddieasitgoes, and our anonymous nominator! See more of steddieasitgoes's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[boywifesammy]

s5e11 sam, interrupted is THE EPISODE. it’s a fucking cinematic pipe bomb. watching it is like chewing on glass and swallowing propane. it is wonderful, it is amazing, it is EXCRUCIATING and i love it. allow me to explain.

(under the cut because i ended up rambling lol)

like, yes… it is extremely ableist. it is extremely offensive. it is an overdone harmful caricature of psych wards and horrific to watch but that is EXACTLY what makes it so good. i’ve never seen spn as a horror show but man this episode?? the psychological distress of it, the unease, the dereality??? it has me frothing at the mouth.

as someone who has tics and PTSD i have first hand experience being labelled as Crazy so that’s the lens i’m coming at this from. this episode is most definitely not a reliable source for mental health info but the way they portrayed martin’s character kinda got me. him stuttering over certain words, his general paranoia, how they clearly address that he went through a deeply traumatic event but that he’s still useful as a hunter even though he can’t do the things he used to before. i don’t think the writers intended for this episode to be viewed the way i did but man i am shaking it around in my cranium like a snow globe.

just the first few minutes of it is insane. dean acknowledging that sam was high on demon blood and that the apocalypse wasn’t his fault. seeing the absolute absurdity of the show in perspective with real life. dean admitting to his psych doctor that he's an insomniac, alcoholic, and incapable of holding long-terms relationships with his usual blase nonchalance, then immediately clamming up when she hits him with the "let's talk about your father." ??!!! i know dean is The daddy issues character but i love when they call him out like that.

and how can i Not point out the blatant assault and objectification… wendy forcefully making out with both sam AND dean. them both getting probed by the fucking monster of the week not even 10 minutes into the episode. SAM BEING TIED DOWN. i cannot explain to you how much i love seeing him restrained. the moment i saw sam tied down and angry i literally vibrated out of my skin that boy must be helpless and restrained more often it is beautiful.

on a sort of related note: high sam. yes. just yes. the little nose boop. him telling dean I Love You. getting all emotional about how much he cares about his brother. the themes of his autonomy being stripped. him being drugged up against his will when he’s a recovering drug addict????? INSANE.

also one thing that really stood out to me was dean being diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic with narcissistic personality disorder and religious delusions. which, yes, is inaccurate, but seems more like a misinterpretation of his PTSD symptoms. dean isn’t schizophrenic but he IS paranoid and he’s trained himself so thoroughly to weaponize his feelings that even to HIMSELF he seems narcissistic, when he’s really just scared and desperate. he externalizes his self-hatred as this overfed bravado but it’s because if he was honest about how he felt about himself the guy would simply fall apart.

expanding on that note… sam&dean meta on how they react to trauma & grief. dean immediately clams up and becomes anxious and terrified. he shrouds himself in so much false confidence but he genuinely hates himself so fucking much. so much that he just sits with his pain because he thinks he deserves it, while sam wants to externalize. he’s angry and that scares him because of what’s in his blood but the truth is that he has every right to be angry. he wants to be gentle but he has so much repressed rage that it bursts out of him and leaves him terrified in the aftermath. dean on the other hand wants to be angry but he’s so scared and critical of himself that he shuts down.

and the ending. my god the ending. dean telling sam to wrap it up and stuff it down. it’s excruciating to watch because dean’s advice is fucking shit but it’s also heart-breaking because it puts into perspective just how much these boys have on their conscience.

they PHYSICALLY cannot deal with their trauma. it is so awful and overwhelming that they could not function if they remembered it, so they forget about it. they push it down. they hide it away, and it’s so fucking refreshing to have an episode that acknowledges that they do that because THAT IS A TRAUMA RESPONSE. it is quite literally a SURVIVAL tactic. people who are severely traumatized will wipe their memory of traumatic events because they cannot function with it in the peripheral. this is a clear manifestation of sam and dean’s PTSD and how when they’re faced with these problems, their emotions take over and they completely lose themselves, whether that’s due to fear or rage.

the horror of this episode isn’t the wraith. it isn’t the silly little monster sucking out people’s brains. it’s the thing inside you. it is the imagery of these people hanging or with slit wrists being passed off as suicidal because they’re mentally ill. it is the ugly truth of trauma and the ways it twists your memory and self-worth. it is the inherent belief that someone is worthless if they are psychotic or paranoid. it’s the way the episode puts that perspective on sam and dean, shows them what it’s like to hallucinate and drags up their own repressed memories and puts them on full display. it is TRULY horrifying and it is GRIM and NASTY because it is about the human psyche and the horrible ways it can be twisted. it’s a fucking phenomenal episode if you can read the subtext and get past the whole “scary psych ward bad” wrapping.

[sourstroll]

Summer Of Cum 2023

Day 15 - Come as lube

Pairing: Daniel/Max

WC: 1516

❀❀❀❀

Daniel knows he shouldn’t be doing this.

Indulging his teenage teammate’s wildest fantasies was not usually something he did, but it was getting harder and harder to deny his own feelings, the teeny tiny crush that had blossomed into something Daniel wasn’t ready to face yet.

Daniel felt a sort of hot, burning shame as he watched Max move himself into place, both of them naked. Daniel was certain he would’ve backed out by now, but seeing Max in all his glory, all pale skin and baby fat, only made him want him more.

They were already a weird tangle of limbs, Daniel sitting with his legs spread and Max sat in the space between them. Max’s legs were hooked over Daniel’s thighs, lazily hugged around his waist. In this position, they could scoot close enough to have their cocks right up against each other, perfect for what Max had wanted to do.

Daniel had almost fainted when Max mentioned he had a fleshlight a week prior, even worse off when the kid conjured up this idea that he wanted to use it with Daniel.

Daniel could barely think, barely breathe, Max pouring a generous amount of lube on his cock. Daniel was already hard, of course— he’d been fighting off the urge to pop a boner all week, so it was a relief that he could finally let himself lust after Max with just him to witness it. Max had been awkward at first, jittery, giggly, permanently flushed red as he used the silicone toy on Daniel, using gentle flicks of his wrist. Daniel had to try hard not to collapse back against the bed, leaned back on his hands instead. Daniel’s brain kept conjuring up flashes of Max fucking this thing in his free time, putting all his strength into going as deep as he could, coming into the tight pocket of silicone so hard he sees stars. It shouldn’t have turned Daniel on so much, but he was so far gone for him at this point, Daniel wasn’t sure he could make excuses for himself anymore.

“How does it feel?” Max asked suddenly, still stroking Daniel. He would easily admit that he’d imagined this exact scenario a hundred different times, not ashamed of how much he wanted Daniel. “You’re so big, can’t believe you fit in there,” Max mused, using his free hand to trace the entrance, feeling how monstrously stretched it felt. It’s an obscene sight, Max staring at Daniel with those too-blue eyes and practically drooling over how Daniel’s cock looks, nestled into the sleeve, almost too big to fit.

Daniel let out a groan, much louder than the ones he’d made before. “Feels really good,” Daniel huffed and reached down to place a hand on Max’s thigh, smoothing his hand up to his tummy, feeling the hard line of muscle there, grateful to be able to touch him like this. “You feel better,” he teased, watching Max’s expression turn helpless, like he wants to sit himself in Daniel’s lap instead of using the toy. “Have you thought about this a lot, Maxie?” Daniel asked shakily.

Max nodded eagerly, pressing the fleshlight all the way down and leaving it there for a few moments, letting Daniel relish in the feeling. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about,” he admitted, accent thicker than usual.

“Is this how you do it on yourself?” Daniel breathed, biting his lip as he watched Max’s pace slow, the squelch of the fleshlight quiet between them.

“I do it faster,” Max murmured. “I imagine it’s you, sometimes,” he admitted, looking away from Daniel for a moment, wishing he could hide his embarrassment a little better.

“You make believe it’s me?” Daniel gasped, nearly losing it at the thought of Max being so into fucking him. “You’re gonna kill me, Max,” Daniel whined, resisting the urge to push his hips up into the soft silicone.

Max made sure not to stop his stroking, finally breaking eye contact with his movements to look up at Daniel. “Would you like that? Even if I’m younger?” Max asked timidly. He’d always assumed it was an age thing for Daniel, that the thought of having his much younger teammate fuck him was too far for him. If Max had it his way, he’d be plowing into Daniel most days.

“Fuck, Max,” Daniel groaned, letting his head loll back, his hand moving to rest on top of Max’s around the toy, still letting Max guide it. “You can do whatever you want to me, seriously,” he murmured, breaths getting choppier as he watched Max go faster. He felt a bit crazy with lust, like he never wanted to stop feeling like this, never wanted Max to stop being the innocent little teenager he was, spilling all his greatest desires to him.

Max recognized Daniel’s change of behavior, knowing he was getting closer by the second; it made Max move with a bit more intention. “I want to bend you over in my driver room, so I can fuck you on my couch,” Max blurted out, feeling like Daniel would appreciate a glimpse into his mind. “I think about doing it after every race, Danny.”

Daniel’s jaw was slack as Max spoke, gingerly digging his nails into Max’s wrist. He was speechless as he imagined himself, completely at Max’s mercy, getting fucked like a slut, right on the paddock. It’s not something he’d ever done before, never even thought of testing that boundary. Knowing that Max didn’t care and would rather let his post-race adrenaline take over, just to be able to have Daniel, was too much to handle all at once, and it sent him over the edge.

Daniel let out a moan that was fit for porn, eyes closing as he came inside the fleshlight, thighs shaking and hips trying to buck into the warmth of it. Max’s pace only slowed down a bit, milking the older man of his seed.

Max watched Daniel in awe, in love with how he looked when he came, even more obsessed with how well he’d reacted to the premise of getting fucked by him. “You like that idea,” Max said, more of a statement than a question. Before he pulled the toy off of him, Max leaned forward to kiss Daniel breathless, swallowing every oversensitive mewl Daniel made, pushing his tongue into the hot cavern of his mouth.

When Max did pull away, he was panting, feeling much too worked up to not do something about it. Max leaned back, reluctantly, so they had room between them again. Daniel still seemed to be gathering himself as Max pulled the toy off of him, careful not to spill any of his come. “What a waste,” he sighed, resting his weight on his free hand behind him. Max’s eyes were trained on the slit of the toy, currently dripping with Daniel’s come. He didn’t say a word as he tipped it upside down over his cock, letting a few drops fall down his length, his cock an angry red, clearly having been neglected for far too long.

Daniel hadn’t recovered yet, thrown for another loop as he watched Max lower the silicone sleeve to his tip, spreading his come around the opening even more. Daniel knew he’d never forget the sight of Max using his come to slide into the toy with ease, wanting it burned into the back of his eyelids. “Wow,” Daniel said dumbly, unable to articulate how insanely hot Max looked at the moment.

“Danny,” Max whined softly, wanting to put on a bit of a show for him as he used the toy on himself, knowing he wouldn’t last very long. “Show me how you want me to fuck you,” he instructed, as calmly as he could when he’d never taken the reigns before, not with Daniel.

Daniel’s hands moved before his brain could catch up, replacing Max’s hand on the toy like he told him to. He didn’t break eye contact with Max once, pumping faster, harder. “Like this,” he muttered, twisting his wrist for good measure. “Hard as you want, fast as you want, for as long as you want,” he purred, using his free hand to tangle into Max’s hair, pressing another passionate kiss to his mouth. “Anywhere you want,” Daniel tacked on, whispering it against his lips.

Max was never going to last, not as long as Daniel was there, being so impossibly perfect, saying all the right things and doing them even better. “Daniel,” he gasped one last time, kissing him as he came inside the fleshlight as well, mixing with Daniel’s come. He breathed harshly after pulling away, still feeling the aftershocks as Daniel pulled the toy off, setting it on the empty side of the bed.

Daniel practically tackled Max into another kiss, laying him back on the bed and using his weight to keep him pinned down. “Fuck me, please,” Daniel begged, his eyebrows furrowing as he pleaded, moving himself so he was straddling Max, desperate for him to be balls deep inside of him already.

❀❀❀ Previous Days ❀❀❀

[percyjacksonblog]

I finished! ToA:TDP

Oh my gosh that was such a good book. It has been so long since I’ve read a book I liked that much. I read the new Percy Jackson book this past fall when it came out and loved it, but I really loved this book. So I’m basically going to do a combination of a whole book review and chapters 30-42.

So firstly I did finish the book yesterday but wanted some time to absorb everything and sort my thoughts.

I know on my last post I mentioned that chapters 20-30 were end of the second act chapters and I still stand by that after finishing these last 12. So good.

Chapters 30-42

Calypso and Leo staying at the Waystation seems right, but it also doesn’t. Like Calypso, sure, but Leo I feel like would have felt better at CHB, or heck even New Rome since other members of the 7 are there.

Red Mercedes, I don’t picture Apollo driving anything less than that. It was so perfect.

Oh poor baby Meg. I hated Nero last book but now I loathe him.

THREE PEACHES! I’ve died and gone to heaven. For the record I don’t know why I love Peaches so much but he just cracks me up. Like I would probably lose my mind if I ever heard someone just screech “PEACHES” as a battle cry. Is there any fan art of Peaches because I need to see some.

Pokémon Go! I am so old.

NO NOT THE GRIFFINS!

The stand off was so good. Not going to lie my intuition was off for this chapter. I was positive that Commodus was going to make Apollo choose who lived. It was set up perfectly for that. I would bet that in the original drafts that was going to happen but the editors were like, “this is a children’s book, you need to rewrite this so it’s more age appropriate.”

I got a little misty eyed at the funeral. I wish it had been longer, however, looking back to TLO the short funeral makes sense.

Why does Apollo hate iambic pentameter so much? I think it’s a classic.

Oh name dropping!

Georgina just outright rejecting Apollo had me floored. It was so funny.

Grover! Wow way to just pull in a major character. I love a good Grover line though so I’m hoping he’s pretty prominent in the next book.

The Whole Book

I just…wow. I complained about how there were no real stakes in the last book, but you guys told the stakes get higher and you are definitely right.

As a whole I really enjoyed this book, specifically the last ~30 chapters. I thought it got off to kind of a slow start even with getting attacked in the first few chapters but the rest of it was just phenomenal.

I think my favorite part is still breaking into and out of the Zoo. Something about that just really stuck with me. Close second was definitely Apollo’s reaction to the death of the hippogriff and the unnamed demigod. It really humanized him. So far with each different act from both books I think Apollo has slowly begun accepting his mortality as Lester more and more.

I can’t wait to see who the third emperor is. There’s so many that it could be, Augustus, Caesar, Caligula, Hadrian!

After finishing this book I can confidently say Apollo had some major self loathing going on.

It is clear that one of the central themes of the series at this point is humanity and what it means to be human. I love it.

Not sure when I’ll start reading the third book, could be as early as tonight, could be sometime next week. People as a whole seem to be enjoying my reactions to these books so I’ll continue until I feel the consensus switches.

Vaya con queso amigos!

[neoncowgirlposts]

Ohhhkay so I saw @bigtreefest post earlier about cevans characters in pickup trucks (yum) and had a long winded thought that became basically a one shot. 😭😭 This was super rushed and is my first time posting anything I’ve written so be nice please! ☺️ Love you besties!!!🩷🩷🫶🫶🫶🥰🥰🥰

Ari Levinson x reader | No minors pls! 💓 | I’m 99% sure this is gn!reader and racially ambiguous BUT if not PLEASE let me know and I will edit it. ❤️

You and Ari were on a recon mission that was only supposed to last a few days, but for some reason had dragged out to a week. It’s pushing two in the morning as he drives down the highway through the wooded, monotonous landscape. Not that it matters; it’s too dark to see outside anyways, and the headlights are too old to help much.

You knew Ari well enough to know he wouldn’t replace them until they truly gave out on him. That was how everything was with him. ‘Til the wheels fell off. Not that you minded. It was sort of comforting that he was so stuck in his ways, rejecting anything new in favor of his worn t-shirts and jeans, books with creased spines that he’s read a dozen times, and his dark blue, crew cab pickup truck.

Your line of work lacked routine, predictability, and most of the time, safety. In spite of that, Ari was always there, consistent as ever, grounding you, a gentle reminder of reality. Yeah, he could be reckless, but at the very least he was consistent.

Driving along, running your fingers lightly over the cracked beige leather of the passenger’s seat, you wondered if his sentimentality regarding his belongings served the same purpose for him. Comfort. Reminding him of his life and identity throughout all the chaos. You guessed so.

He had owned the damn truck longer than he had known you; a transitional object throughout the tumultuous seasons of his life. Almost like a child’s blankie, you thought with the breathiest little giggle.

He stirred next to you.

“Thought you were asleep,” he said gruffly, breaking you from your thoughts in the no-longer silent cab.

“No, um, I was just looking out the window. I woke up a few minutes ago. I’m sorry if I disturbed you,” you replied softly. He was exhausted, his eyes puffy and breathing slow. You both hadn’t slept for almost 36 hours when you had finally made it back to his truck. Though you had offered to drive, he refused and told you that you needed to rest.

“You didn’t disturb me. Not at all. I just want you to be able to sleep.”

”You need to sleep, too, Ari. You’ve been up almost two days.”

“I’m okay, sweetheart,” letting the endearment slip in his groggy state. “Don’t worry about me.”

He was okay. He would be okay. He could always endure more and suffer longer if it meant he could absolve you from having to do the same.

“Ari,” you said a bit more firmly. “Switch me. You need to sleep. The nearest town is 90 minutes away. I don’t want you to have to drive that far.”

”It’s okay. I told you it was fine. Go back to sleep.” His hands gripped more tightly at the spots they had worn into the steering wheel over time. Your gentle care and consideration of him had always made him feel some type of way, but his fondness for you and your comfort outweighed the blush licking up his neck at your thoughtful demand.

“No. Let me drive.”

“I’ll drive a little longer until we can find a motel to check into. Just drop it.”

”Ari get out of the—“

”AH, Shit!!” He yelled as he abruptly stopped his truck, startling you.

Ari breathed out a sigh as you trembled slightly at his sudden outburst, thinking it might be at you. He faced away from you as he inspected the dash, leaving you uncertain with tears brimming in your eyes and a quivering lip. Things had been hard lately. You felt like you couldn’t catch a break; your life was wild and you felt out of your control to a point of discomfort.

You whimpered quietly, tired, overwhelmed, and unaccustomed to him yelling at you. Registering the noise, he was torn out of contemplation and met with your watery eyes and ruddy cheeks.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he rushed, concerned at your state as he put the truck in park. “I’m not mad at you. I’m not upset with you, okay? I didn’t mean to yell or scare you. The gas light turned on and we don’t have enough fuel to get us to the next town and check into a motel. I’m just frustrated in general, I’m not mad at you. It didn’t have anything to do with you.”

His large, calloused hands had reached out to you slowly and began rubbing up and down your arms. You sniffled and nodded at him, tears leaking out of your eyes as you snuggled further into his baggy hoodie he had let you wear.

“I-I-I’m sorry, Ari,” you wiped furiously at your eyes, trying to calm down. “I’m sorry for crying I’m just o-overwhelmed with everything and we’re b-both exhausted and-and I—“

”Shhh, it’s okay. I know, it’s okay. Fuck, I know this sucks. I’m just gonna pull in to the shoulder of the highway, just a bit behind those trees. We’ll sleep in the truck.”

You nodded silently and closed your eyes, breathing deeply as his warm palm slid across your thigh. He shifted the truck into drive and expertly pulled behind a few of the larger trees, under the canopy but still in view of the road. You felt him shift again just as quickly into park and remove the keys from the ignition.

“I’m gonna grab a few things from the bed of the truck, okay? Why don’t you hop out with me and take a few breaths of fresh air and then I’ll make up a bed for you in the backseat.”

“I- Ari, what? Where are you going to sleep?”

He chose not to answer, hopping out and walking ‘round back. Choosing to trust him instead of argue this time, you nod and hop out of the passenger’s seat, yawning and stretching your arms above your head while he rummaged through the back. He comes back a few moments later with a rolled-up sleeping bag and thick, flannel blanket.

He gestures you to follow to the drivers’ side of the truck, and you wander after him obediently. You’re so used to being on guard all the time that it almost feels nice to have him be in charge, ordering you around. If you were any more lucid, you probably wouldn’t admit that to yourself, though.

He pulls open the door the backseat and reaches inside, wedging the sleeping bag against the back right window of his pickup. He hops out again and faces you.

“What are you doing?” You question. He only saunters to your shivering form and wraps you in the thick blanket and effortlessly scoops you up bridal style and walks back towards the open door.

Your stomach flips at his ability to manhandle you, but you try to shove the feeling down in an effort to avoid facing the other conflicting emotions you might feel towards Ari.

He gets up into the backseat of the pickup and lays you down so your head falls on top of the sleeping bag. He begins to tuck you in but you turn to stop him.

“What about you?” You ask softly, the concern in your sweet face pulling at his heartstrings.

“I’ll sleep outside. Keep watch. Don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Shooting up at his response, his chest tightens, waiting for you to argue back. He liked that about you. You didn’t ever back down from him. You were firey, but sweet and kind all the same. But tonight, he just wanted you to rest and be comfortable. Ari knew how hard you had been pushing yourself and just wanted to grant you some relief.

You took a deep breath and faced him. “Ari, listen to me, please,” you spoke earnestly. It threw the man who had just been waiting for a scolding.

“I just want you to be comfortable, okay? You’re the most selfless man I know. You always try to put me and everyone else before you. I appreciate it so much. More than you know. But please,” you looked at him from under your lashes and reached to caress his cheek. “Don’t go sleep on the hard ground. I want you next to me. To lay with me. Please.”

A stunned look graced his beautiful features. He almost always knew what to say, but hearing you plead for him to lay next to you shocked him. Ari brought his big hand up to yours which still rested on his cheek and grabbed it. You looked directly at each other as he ran his thumb over the back of your hand and leaned down to kiss your palm.

“Do you think there’s room?” He finally said softly, making you snort.

“Just get over here, you big dork,” you said through a smile.

You pulled him flat on his back while you both kicked your shoes off. His head landed against the makeshift pillow while you closed the door. His knees were bent and you smiled awkwardly down at him as you locked the doors.

“There’s a nine millimeter under the-“

“Oh my God,” you laughed, snuggling on top of him and into his warm chest.

“Just in case,” he smiled down at you. You adjusted the blanket so it fit over the both of you and wrapped your arms up around his neck. Ari held your waist with one hand and the back of your head with the other, petting your head and lulling you to sleep.

“I’m sorry for snapping earlier,” he said into the dark, but you shushed him before he could continue.

“It’s ok, we’ll figure everything out in the morning. I just wanted you to hold me.”

[kagedbird]

Cicero Loves You, Listener! TESSDE AU - Dark Brotherhood route

~ [First] ~ [Next] ~ [Prev] ~

I peeked out of the door carefully, wincing as the bright light burned my eyes.

I’d been locked in this room for so long, I’d forgotten what anything brighter than a few candles was like. Not that my memory could remember much in the first place, but that was besides the point.

Cicero hadn’t returned as promised, and I was getting antsy. I needed answers about that voice, and… she wanted me to talk to him.

‘Darkness rises when silence dies.’ I repeated in my mind, stepping through the doorway slowly. It felt like I was breaking a rule, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I was going crazy in the emptiness. ‘Darkness rises when silence—!’

“Eep!”

I jolted, startled beyond belief as a giant fucking man stepped from around the corner in front of me. He didn’t even flinch as he stopped walking, merely looking down at me from his nose with a sneer and a glare.

“Who the hell are you, ham hock?”

“H-ham hock?” I echoed, feeling my body shaking endlessly in fright. I hadn’t heard him approaching at all! He was huge!

“Yeah. You look like a bite sized snack.” He huffed, leaning down to sniff me?!

I flinched back, stumbling backwards against the closed door behind me, and clutched the front of my shirt. “Did you just smell me?”

“Yeah.” He stood tall once more, tilting his head. “You must be the pet that jester brought in. Was wondering whose blood it was I smelled.”

“Smelled—” I shook my head, feeling incredibly confused and in slight pain as my left eye started blurring and burning like crazy. “What?”

“You must’ve hit your head hard.” He snorted. “At the very least, I know you aren’t much of a threat. Shaking worse than a leaf in a storm.”

“I’m—!”

“What’s going on here?” A beautiful woman rounded the corner, piercing blue eyes and blonde hair like my own. A large juxtaposition to the white haired, scruffy man in front of me, but no less intimidating as she fixed me with her own glare. “Who are you?”

“Allora,” I said quickly, feeling my pulse thumping aggressively in my throat. “I-I’m just… I was just looking for Cicero. Are you his family?”

A red head, a giant man, and a beautiful woman. What an interesting combination.

The woman raised an eyebrow and looked me up and down slowly. It felt like she was undressing me, but not in any sexual manner, more… assessing me.

“So you’re what he was hiding in there for so long.” She drawled, crossing her arms.  “What exactly has he told you?”

“Not much, really.” I admit, shaking my head. “That there are about nine of you, ten including someone’s pet. The religion you guys share, the tenets… that sort of thing. But not really in depth?”

There was a heavy silence that followed, and I felt myself panicking that I inadvertently got him in trouble. But at the same time, he hadn’t mentioned me at all?

That was incredibly suspicious. I needed to know what was going on.

“Cicero said he found me nearby, injured and unconscious.” I continued after neither of them said anything. “I’ve been recovering in there for about two weeks now. I think. I don’t… I don’t remember anything. I could barely remember my own name.”

“How convenient,” the man huffed. “We supposed to just believe that?”

“I-I don’t know how to prove it to you,” I said, shrugging uselessly. “Please, if I could just find Cicero—”

“And what do you need him for that you can’t talk to us about?” The woman interrupted me, making me flinch.

“I-I…”

‘They’re going to think I’m fucking crazy.’ I thought to myself, glancing to the side with a wince.

“If you so much as think of lying to me right now, you’re going to regret it.” The woman snarled, stalking forward to push me against the door.

“N-no, wait! I’m not— I wasn’t going to lie!” I squeaked out, gasping at the sight of a blade being pulled from her waist. “Pl-please—!”

“What is going on? Hm?”

I breathed a sigh of relief despite the position I was in as I looked up to see Cicero at the doorway, holding a plate of sweets. He may look incredibly angry despite his smile, but a familiar face was better than a face that was threatening me with a knife.

“Cicero!” I called out, breath hitching as the knife pressed against my throat more.

“Have you been sharing things with outsiders, Keeper?” The woman mocked, eyes never having left my face.

“Certainly not! Cicero would never betray the Night Mother so!” Cicero answered back, voice strangely tight despite his overall happy tone. “However, if you are to injure Miss Allora, you will!”

“What?” The woman asked incredulously, finally turning to the smaller man.

“Miss Allora, why are you out of bed?” Cicero asked instead, giving me a mocking pout. “Cicero knows you were eager to get up and about, but he cannot protect you if you don’t remain close!”

“Y-you were late, and I got worried, and—” I winced as the blade slipped against my neck, feeling blood trickling down. “And Mother spoke to me and told me to tell you darkness rises when silence dies!”

My heart was hammering in my chest a mile a minute as the three of them turned to me, wide eyed and slack jawed.

Cicero was the first to recover, skillfully hopping over and all but ripping the woman from me, gleefully jumping and clicking his heels. “Oh joyous day, joyous day! Cicero knew he heard you say you heard her before! Oh happy days!”

I clutched my throat to staunch the blood, unable to keep upright as I slid down the door to the floor. I was glad he believed me. This ‘Mother’ said he would, but she was also a fucking voice in my head.

So you can never really know.

“You’re the Listener?” The woman spat, glaring at me with all she was worth.

“That’s— that’s what she said,” I shrugged, letting Cicero help me to my feet when I had feeling in them again. “I-I don’t really know what it means…”

“Dutiful Cicero will explain everything!” Cicero crowed, gently guiding me to a bench nearby. I hadn’t even really noticed the rest of this secluded chamber, and only just noticed an intricately styled coffin and mural behind it.

I was sat down, and Cicero placed the plate of food next to me before gathering some salvant from his pocket. He moved my hand from my throat, tsking all the while under his breath about ‘harlots not knowing their place’, spreading the cold salve over my wound.

It tingled, but did feel better afterwards.

“Thank you,” I murmured softly.

“Dutiful Cicero is always here to help his Listener!” Cicero chirped as he pulled away. “He is so very sorry for being pulled away for so long, but he needed to find proper sustenance for himself and you! That, and he was hoping Mother would talk to you if he was not around!”

“Can you not hear her?” I asked, frowning.

He laughed. It wasn’t like his usual ones, though it was a very well practiced one. It felt slightly strained.

“Oho, Listener is very funny! But no! Cicero is the Keeper! He… keeps!” He claps his hands before motioning to the plate. “But Cicero can explain that another time, please, eat! You need to regain your strength!”

“By Sithis, you will explain what is going on, fool,” the woman spat out, snarling at Cicero with clenched hands. “How in Oblivion is she the Listener? And you just happened to find her?”

As angry as I felt on his behalf for the attitude, Cicero seemed nonplussed.

“Oh Cicero had a feeling Miss Allora was our beloved Listener for some time!” Cicero explained, grinning wide. “She was so kind, so kind! Helped poor Cicero along the roadside when that awful Loreius family refused to help!”

Loreius?

“She had mentioned hearing something from the box that contained Mother’s coffin before she left! Cicero was certain of it!” He clapped and jangled as he danced around.

A flicker of a memory came to mind. The blue sky, covered with clouds. A nearby farm. A giant wagon, a wheel broken.

A familiar jester…

I flinched as a hand came to my face, watching in a daze as Cicero pulled back his glove from my upper lip to show blood.

I gasped, covering my nose and pinching it, leaning forward to stop the blood flow from getting too bad.

“Are you all right Listener? Tell Cicero what is wrong so he can help!”

I shook my head lightly, feeling incredibly dizzy and light headed all at once. Was it because of the memories? Or stress? I couldn’t tell anymore.

I just felt myself slip forward into that listless void that knew me very well by now…

[pamsimmerstories]

they had A LOT to talk

previous || next

[avery]: just ask me anything.

[freya]: why did you have to leave...when your dad died

[avery]: i couldn’t breathe, freya. i felt like it was my fault, that night, our first time, just happened because i was mad at him. our last conversation, it was me and my dad arguing. i felt like i ruined everything and i would ruin you at some point.

[freya]: oh, avery...

[avery]: i know... i’ve been working on it on my therapy sessions. i’m far from being the man you deserve, but i’m working on it, freya.

[freya]: you’re perfect for me, avery. since we started dating. and you don’t ruin things... it’s just... life. but i’m glad you’re looking for professional help. because it wasn’t your fault your dad died.

[avery]: i’m working on it, sometimes i know it wasn’t, but sometimes i keep playing our last conversation in my mind and i hate how  he died right after i told him he was just like his mother. i knew he hated that and i said it anyway

[avery]: i just wanted to take all back and tell him how much i loved him. but i was so mad because he kept pushing me to go to college.

[freya]: and are you happy? finishing your degree?

[avery]: i don’t know for sure... i feel like i can do it, for him. so i’m okay with my choice.

[freya]: as long as you’re happy and in peace with your choice...

[avery]: what about you? an actress now, huh? *smirks*

[freya]: *rolls eyes* that’s definitely not for me. but there’s another season. and i signed the contract already. i don’t need to break it. i’ll have to be back in del sol valley in a few weeks.

[avery]: i hate that you’re going away, freya.

[freya]: i hate that, too. but i won’t let go of you while i’m here.

[avery]: *grins* good!

[avery]: and what else do you want to know, donkey?

[freya]: uh... *bites lip* what about you and valentina?

[avery]: hm, i should’ve seen this coming *chuckles*

[freya]: you don’t need to talk right now...

[avery]: that’s okay. *deep sigh* okay... well, it was supposed to be a one time thing and she got pregnant. i care about her, because we sort of grew up together. i didn’t want to be a dad, but she wanted to be a mother, so i stepped up. we were never supposed to be a couple. collin told me that you asked him if we were together *smirks* were you jealous, donkey?

[avery]: hm, i should’ve seen this coming *chuckles*

[freya]: you don’t need to talk right now...

[avery]: that’s okay. *deep sigh* okay... well, it was supposed to be a one time thing and she got pregnant. i care about her, because we sort of grew up together. i didn’t want to be a dad, but she wanted to be a mother, so i stepped up. we were never supposed to be a couple. collin told me that you asked him if we were together *smirks* were you jealous, donkey?

[freya]: ugh! collin is such a snitch!

[avery]: *laughs* he tried so hard to bring us closer together. you have no idea how happy he is right now. i’m so happy that you here.

[freya]: i’m sorry about jasper...

[avery]: why are you apologizing? i broke up with you and i told you to be happy and move on. and you did. there’s nothing wrong with that, frey.

[freya]: i feel terrible about what i did to him... but i really tried to like him. but i never got over you

[avery]: part of me feels sorry for him, but another part of me, a huge part of me, loves that you never got over me *grins*

[freya]: avery! and now you’re living in the same building as him. what if he sees us?

[avery]: i won’t ever do anything on purpose to rub our relationship on his face. but i won’t hide it if we meet him in the hallways.

[freya]: i guess that’s fair. and he knows i love you. that’s why we broke up that night after the bluffs. he thought i was cheating on him, he was gonna propose, i feel like just because he saw you as threat...

[avery]: i guess i have to step up my game now.

[freya]: don’t be silly! i started it... i thought you were having a kid, and sort of asked him to have a baby, too

[avery]: were you trying to have a baby with jasper villareal?

[freya]: hey! you got valentina villareal pregnant!

[avery]: what a pair we are, huh?!

[freya]: i know, right?! god! i was so out of my mind thinking about having a baby so soon.

[avery]: do you still want to have a baby?

[freya]: what are you implying?

[avery]: i didn’t want to have a baby before, but now i do.

[freya]: right now?

[avery]: *laughs* no, geez! i want to enjoy you for a while, for the time we lost... just you, me and finn :)

[freya]: i like that idea