#and it’s not like he COULDN’T reach his own true potential and find peace and contentment in a lonesome life!

[giddlygoat]

Hey about the ghost Luigi au. But. Would he fade with time? Or would he be forced to watch everyone’s lives continue without him? Would he be forced to watch his friends and brother die? Cause that’s angsty as hell my dude

oh, he’s in it for the long haul. i think after time has done its damage, he would go from being inconsolable to a long period of complete and utter shutdown. who knows, maybe he takes to scaring folks in the end. at some point, that becomes the only thing a ghost can really offer, right? when connection is that temporary it loses its meaning. the only way he can touch the real world anymore is through fear.

or you know, he could fulfill his dying wish and ascend to the afterlife. i want him to have a happy ending in one universe or another

[yourheart-inmyhands]

Hi the anon who requested the primordial sea one- that’s alright if you didn’t manage to do for the time being- in that case could I instead make a request for the archons (including Furina) with a reader who has a hydro vision instead but tries to keep their abilities eg Hydro resonance a secret so they’ll appear weaker than they actually are and the archons reactions’ to finding out (i have bias towards a particular archon already if you couldn’t tell)- it’s totally fine if you can’t but just know that everything is all good so dw too much

Also if I don’t mind could I take the 💧anon label if I can? Thanks a lot

ah ofc you can! if you still want to that is, it's been a bit since i've been able to get to this ;v; also i only did Zhongli and Furina because i'm trying to cut back a bit on how many characters there are per post so i hope you don't mind! :]

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including being held against will, delusional behaviors, abuse of power, violence towards furniture, talk of furniture being destroyed and thrown around, mentions of distrust between partners, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Zhongli would be immediately skeptical when he finds out. What reason would you have to hide your hydro abilities from him? Why would you need to appear weaker than him? Zhongli would assume there’s more you’re hiding from him, locking you in a room until he feels you’ve confessed everything there is. You could be in there for anywhere from hours to days, so long as Zhongli feels there’s something you aren’t telling him, he’ll keep you there. The creak of a door slowly swinging open had a sense of dread washing over you, the dimly lit room that already seemed to feel small felt like it had shrunk another 10 feet. Zhongli had come to feed you, something he did a few times a day, depending on how well he felt you behaving. Ever since he stumbled upon your hydro vision, which you thought you had hidden pretty well, he had been particularly upset with you. He was determined to find out what you were hiding from him, despite your constant cries that there was nothing you were hiding from him. He just couldn’t seem to understand that you wanted a simple, peaceful life with him and that you hid your vision because you didn’t want him to think differently of you.

Yandere!Furina with a beloved who hides their hydro vision would be hurt. Were you not proud of it? Was it not good enough for you? She’s hurt, upset, angry, and just a whole slew of emotions that she can’t even list ‘em all off. Her tantrum lasts for hours as she simply passes through every emotion, taking out her feelings on the battered furniture over and over until she can make heads or tails of what she thinks. The next you see her, she’s eerily calm, speaking to you gently and asking that you sit down and have a talk with her about it. You can expect the talk to be anything other than civil though, because as soon as she hears something she doesn’t like, all the chaos from before will rain down twice as fervently.

It had been an hour already, the sofa had been nearly split in half, the coffee table had a large crack running up the center, and everything else in reach had been beaten to bits. Furina didn’t take the news of you not only receiving a hydro vision, but receiving one and not telling her very kindly. Technically as the Archon of Hydro, she was supposed to be aware of all Hydro Visions that were received, but like the other Archons, it was simply an overtold myth. At one point in time, when visions were few and far between it might’ve been true, but nowadays the glittering representatives were handed out by the dozens. Still though, Furina was fuming about how she could’ve missed it. You of all people should’ve told her as well. What was Hydro not your favorite element? Well it should be. Perhaps she just needs to show you why it’s so great? No, that’s not a good idea, maybe that’s why you didn’t like it in the first place? Cause she’s so mean! No that couldn’t be it either! A loud scream and the cracking, wall-shaking sound of the table being thrown against the wall were heard throughout the manor as Furina tried to make sense of any of the thoughts in her head. She had no idea what could’ve compelled you to hide your vision from her, but regardless of the answer, she’ll never be happy with it.

[foolinafable]

iii. reflections

SYNOPSIS: He doesn’t know how to love. You know this and yet you would still give everything just to be with him- even for just a moment. Or the story of how you and Keith finally get together. PAIRING: Keith Kogane x Altean reader WORD COUNT: 2.7k TAGS: Slowburn, Angst, extreme cannon compliance SERIES LINK: a love as cold as ours

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── ✧

Working with Lotor is strange, but working with Lotor and Allura is taxing, to say the least, you are unsure how much of this romantic tension you could possibly endure and with your mind still reeling from your argument with Keith you worry about lashing out again.

But your work with Lotor towards infinite quintessence is very important if not one of the most important projects you have been a part of. The group of you quickly discovered that your ability to control quintessence was much stronger than Alluras- similar to that of his mother he had said in a moment of careful clarity, another surprising discovery. It was comforting to know that galra-altean romance was possible and the fact that Lotor was altean only made you and Allura feel closer to him as you are the last of a dying species. As to Lotors request you had been trying to increase your connection with your powers, hoping that it would allow them to become stronger. You had already found that you could use quintessence you had stored within yourself to heal and found that you could naturally recharge your own source a lot faster than in the past. Lotor and Allura had found a script over the tale of Oriande and hoped it was true that you could reach a place that you teach you more about altean alchemy- however, it also made you sad to think that this is what the elders would have taught you but instead, they are dead leaving you the last true “Altean witch” as Lotor has dubbed you. After the revelation it really began to make sense why Alfor sent for you that day, to put you into the sleep chamber he knew you had the abilities that he had. It was almost as if he could see it coming, all the other witches, even Honerva (as Lotor still claimed) being wiped from the planet. It also made Haggar's wariness of you make sense- she saw you as an equal, it's a rather daunting idea that you could ever be like her. You and Allura couldn’t believe all of your untapped potential, being able to open the stone that would lead to Oriande a feat which the princess was sure only her father could accomplish really sealed the truth into the pair of you, you weren't just put into the pod to be a companion for Allura you were put there to find what Honerva couldn’t infinite quintessence to allow for peace throughout the universe.  You suppose it only made sense that you like Allura and Lotor would have the mark of the chosen and therefore be able to get to Oriande, to the temple of alchemists, to be able to learn from the white lion and allow you to become an altean alchemist like Alfor. 

Most of your focus as of late had been on creating Lotor a ship to allow him and therefore you access to the quintessence field, you were happy for the distraction as all your thoughts would otherwise be on Keith and your last words to one another, you regretted your temper getting the better of you but also felt so disheartened by him and his words that he thought you needed constant protection and that you spoke too much layering your head with insecurities no comforting words from Lance could even sway. You could feel yourself relying on the Cuban boy much more than you did before, and he you. You suppose it’s because you relate to the idea of unrequited feelings for another paladin and often find the other to be a solace. Watching Lotor and Allura get closer made your heart ache for the boy but at the same time, Lotor was also now your friend as you had said to Lance may a time when he didn't want to express his feelings towards Lotor afraid you would get upset that he is your family, so he will always come first to you. It wasn't surprising to find him alone on the sofa after Allura turned him and the other paladins away from building the ship, clearly feeling upset. You sat next to him in silence, waiting until he was ready to speak. 

“I mean i don't really have much to offer, i’m just a boy from Cuba and he's a space prince” you simply smiled at him 

“That doesn't make you any less worthy and if she can't see that, then she's clearly not the one for you” The boy knew you spoke from experience as he liked to put it Keith was a fool to not notice your feelings towards him and while you once thought of Keith with a warmth in your cheeks all you could feel now was dread about when you next need to see him, what more he could possibly say to you or what new way he could find you break your heart like he does so easily. You comm buzzed before you could get another word in, Allura calling you back to work. Lance smiled in understanding as you got up to leave praying that for once he believed you when you told him he was worth everything and more just as he does to you.   

── ✧

This was the moment the three of you had been waiting for. You stood in between Allura and Lotor looking up at the ship “We have done everything we can to prepare. We are more than ready.” she was right, it was time to get into the quintessence field, prove it could be done and then a future of peace for the galran empire would await you as you come back. The three of you boarded the ship and took your seats, after a quick check that everything was working, the ship was ready to go, the castle-ship opened the doors and off you went towards the middle of the destroyed planet. Lance called out to you and Allura through the comms

 “Come back safe” to which Allura replied 

“we will” Then it was time Coran was counting down the ticks until gate entry and you tried to stay calm, knowing deep down that this would work 

“Are you ready?” Lotor asked the both of you 

“it’s too late to turn back now” is all you said as Allura spoke 

“Here we go” then nothing but light surrounded you

 “Extraordinary” Allura declared as the quintessence particles swirled around you 

“These readings are beyond anything I could have imagined, what we do here today will change the course of the universe forever”  Lotor spoke amazed to which Allura responded staring at her hands as well as your own swirling with quintessence 

“In the hands of the wrong person, this power could easily corrupt” you agreed “It's no wonder Zarkon went mad, there's so much of it everywhere, it's overwhelming” The two looked at you with concern clearly the power was weighing heavier on you but you simply shook your head it was nothing you couldn't handle. 

“We will see that this power never does, and will continue the work of Allura's father, now let's see if we can collect some samples.” 

You felt on cloud nine returning from the quintessence field, the power coursing through you was electrifying so much that you shocked Lotor when he grabbed you to help you down from the ship “Sorry” you squeaked when he jolted in surprise but simply laughed as he moved to help Allura down. The three of you walked towards the main control room when the doors opened you noticed them all looking your way menacingly. Lance quickly walked towards you you raised an eyebrow as you grabbed onto his arm walking towards the rest of the paladins “What's wrong” you simply asked eyebrows furrowed deep with concern as you looked at the Cuban boy he simply met your gaze before whispering

 “I'm so sorry” Before drawing his weapon it was then that you noticed Keith and a Galran who were at the back of Allura and Lotor, weapons also drawn

 “Allura step away from Lotor” Lance demanded to which Allura replied

 “I will do no such thing, tell me what is happening here” you followed the paladin's looks of hatred and ire at Lotor before making eye contact with him 

“what have you done?” is all you asked but he simply looked at you confused before murmuring

 “I- what do you mean?” his hand reached forwards in an attempt to touch you but Coran quickly moved you out of the way looking disgusted that he would even try to touch you. Then a new voice spoke out 

“Lotor is a monster, and has been harvesting altean quintessence for generations” You watched the alarm creep onto his face as you turned to see the owner of the voice Allura exclaiming out before you even had a chance to process who that was 

“An altean?” Allura turned to Lotor looking at him as the altean continued

 “you killed my brother and thousands of others.” a look of absolute hatred on her face.

 “Lotor has been lying to us the whole time, he's a murder just like his father” Pidge announced and you simply stared at her shock evident on your face. 

“You know nothing about what you speak” Lotor tried to defend 

“What are they talking about?” Allura questioned 

“Allura listen to me” He tried “I've dedicated my life to preserving altean culture. Now that we have unlocked the quintessence field, all of your people who would have been hunted down long ago had it not been for my interference, can live in peace” to which you replied 

“I can understand safeguarding them, but you were saluting them, that is not keeping them safe, Allura please step away from him, he is not what he said he was” he simply dismissed you looking to Allura

 “were some lives lost, yes but they were martyrs to a noble cause, I sacrificed a few to maintain the thousands. Do not let this ruin everything we have worked for.” he grabbed her hand but she quickly sent him flying over her onto the ground. Then Alarms started blaring, Lotor ships were being taken

 “the hangars were breached!” Coran shouted running towards the console 

“It’s Lotors troops, they are stealing the ships!” Hunk exclaimed when Shiro suddenly fell to the ground in pain, hands clutching at his head

"Shiro'' Keith spoke his name in confusion but the man was groaning in pain still 

“What’s happening to him?” Coran questioned as you ran towards him, hands touching his head.

 “Allura and I will secure the Lotor, You and Hunk try to help Shiro, everyone else to the hangar '' Lance ordered and they left. 

“Shiro” Hunk asked as he turned to him but Shiro quickly shoved him into Coran sending them flying before turning to you and Lance 

“Shiro what are you-” he started but the man sent a punch knocking him out of the way, Allura jumped out of the way as Shiro activated his bayard sending it flying towards the doors but you weren't so lucky, the world quickly fading into darkness. 

You were promptly shaken awake by a dazed Lance groaning your head was throbbing, touching your forehead met you with blood from the impact of Shiro's bayard on your hands 

“Is everyone okay to fly their lions” you heard Keith ask over the comms 

“I think I can handle it” Hunk replied while Lance spoke 

“we’ve got this” while getting you off the ground with Alluras help

 “then let's go, if we want to fight Lotors ships we are going to need Voltron” Keith declared while Pidge spoke worriedly in reaction to his words “

Shiros gone, whos going to pilot the black lion?” and Keith simply said

 “I will.” 

You quickly got inside your lion, head pulsing and bleeding as you followed the rest of the lions into space, tailing the ships, you all quickly started fighting them as Keith went towards the altean pod that had Shiro inside trying to figure out what was wrong. You were barely able to escape the lasers of the ships you helped make, you would be proud of your work if it wasn't directed at you. Lasers flashed at each other, purple and white, you cursed as you got hit again simply breathing before trying again, the lions could barely get their lasers to charge up before they were hit by Lotors minions 

“Guys we are no match for them in our lions, form Voltron” Keith announced and for the first time in a long time, you agreed with him. 

Forming Voltron however, also seemed to not help, if anything it made it worse giving the three ships just one body to focus on. The constant swerving was making you feel sick barely able to see what was ahead of you, the voices of Coran and Keith could be heard offhandedly but you couldn't register the words coming out of their mouths as the three ships joined their lasers together to make one larger one sending voltron into a nearby asteroid. You worked in complete autopilot, the words coming out of your teammates' mouths sounding muffled as if underwater to you only snapping out of your daze when the ship, once again, is sent crashing into a rock causing you to gasp in surprise while everyone else groans in pain. Before Voltron could continue the fight a large purple wormhole appeared in front of the old altean ship that Shiro was piloting. 

“Is that?” Pidge questioned looking up at the purple entity now in the sky

 “A wormhole?” Lance questioned but before he could continue Keith exclaimed

 “They are trying to escape!” as Lotors' ships travelled towards it. 

“Haggar” Allura announced 

“She must of gained the ability somehow” to which you quipped

 “Maybe Lotor showed her the way to Oridane allowing her to unlock the secrets Honerva left behind” Allura took a sharp intake of air but before she could spiral Keith spoke 

“We can’t worry about this now, we need to make sure we get Shiro back. 

“But Shiros is not Shiro anymore,” Hunk replied. You nodded in agreement, 

“There's something dark within him, it’s intoxicating.” Keith looked down to lap trying to register your words

 “I know, something is wrong with him. The galra or Lotor have to be behind it.” he paused for a moment to collect himself “You all know he would never give up on us. We can't give up on him.”

 As a team, you used all your power to make Voltron move away from the rock and fly towards the wormhole but the robot was clearly worse for wear as Keith called out “Guys, one of my thrusters are down, can you compensate?” 

“Those beams torched our power core I've never seen anything like it” Pidge replied while hunk looked at the vitals 

“We have maybe 30 seconds of overclocked burn time” Clearly we weren't going to make it to the wormhole together but Keith still wanted to try 

“Hit it!” he exclaimed as the robot went even faster but even at half way through the burn you still went close enough 

“We aren't going to make it!” Lance cried out while 

Pidge exclaimed “We're too heavy!” 

“We need to disband” you murmured to yourself not thinking anyone could hear you but Keith quickly echoed your thoughts 

“disband” to which the other paladins shouted in confusion 

“the energy from us disconnecting might create enough thrust just be enough to get the black lion through the wormhole, and if not I can give them a boost. Haggars is not the only one with a few new tricks.” you reasoned 

“But Keith will be the only one on the other side” Allura called out but as the wormhole was closing it was clear, that this was the only option 

“Do it!” Keith called out making you use your controls to disband your lion while also focusing your energy on the black lion, its glow going from purple to white as it speeded up making it into the wormhole by the hair of its tail. You slouched into the chair of a lion breathing heavily as the area went quiet- all you could do now was wait.

[theprophesiedprincess]

Hogwarts Legacy: The Prophesied Princess Ch 5 Part 1

Summary: MC Seraenya Rhaefyre returns to Hogwarts for her sixth year. Besides her ability to wield Ancient Magic, Seraenya must keep an even larger secret: her true identity. A difficult task given her ever-growing powers and the presence of power-hungry nobles at the Hogwarts school tournaments this year. Will Seraenya fulfill her destiny as the prophesied princess?

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Chapter 5, part 1

Anne

Anne Sallow was in the gray place between life and death on the day she was saved. After speaking with Ominis about potentially turning her brother in for his reckless and unforgivable acts against her uncle, Anne felt herself losing her grip on her emotions and her health. Frail, dazed, and heartbroken, Anne had wandered the Hamlets. Her direction was aimless; she had nowhere to go, and honestly the destination mattered little to her at that time. Dizzy with the trauma of seeing her uncle killed right in front of her, him being cursed by her own twin brother, doubled down with the exhaustion of her own illness, Anne’s only clear thought was that she must avoid anyone who would try to console her, her brother most of all. So, she walked. She walked for hours that felt like days in her weak state. She walked past empty hamlets, ruined homes, burning encampments, and distraught village-folk. How devastated they must be, she thought numbly. Ranrock and Rookwood had gotten them good, just as they had gotten her. Not a single wizard took notice of her. Not a witch offered her shelter or food. Once she reached a waterfront, she spent hours laying in the sand, listening to the water moving with the wind, and gazing at the birds flying overhead.

She couldn’t go on like this forever, she knew, but she was so weak. She had little coin, and what did it matter? She was dying anyways, damned with a cruel curse. No one could cure her, no one. Not even her brother Sebastian, who she knew would have given anything to make her better. Fool, she thought angrily. He’s done too much, and now what will become of him? Anne couldn’t even allow herself to feel the guilt inside of her. She pushed back the feeling, preferring the anger.

After some sleep and what must have been a full day, Anne finally forced herself up to find a trading post. She used the last of her money to buy wiggenweld potion and a bowl of soup. “You look unwell, girl.”, said the unfriendly tradesman.

“I’m dying”, she said, smiling weakly.

The man eyed her curiously, as if he was unsure how to respond. “What are you dying from?”, he said finally.

“A broken heart… and a curse”, she responded.

The man stroked his chin slowly and nodded his head, “May you find some peace.”

Anne nodded at this. “I will do that. I will”, and she walked on. She returned to her spot at the waterfront and took the wiggenweld potion, knowing that it would do little to alleviate the pain pulsing from her stomach. She felt cold take over her, so she took a few sips from the bowl of soup, but it only made her feel nauseas. Shivers ran up and down her spine and she let out a heavy cough. She put down the bowl and laid down on her side, her eyes beginning to feel heavy. This could be it, she thought. I can find peace.

Anne had no way of knowing how much time had passed when she finally opened her eyes again. It could have been days or weeks, all she remembered was a deep sleep. Even with that, Anne was surprised to find that she actually felt as if she had rested when she awoke. Her vision was blurry, but she could make out the heavy scent of incense and shadows cast by a dim warm candlelight. It was nighttime, Anne thought. She turned her head towards a flicker of movement on her right side. There was girl there, Anne realized. She looked at the girl, tall with beautiful, long and wild wavy brown hair, wearing a long purple shawl and boots. The girl was turned away from Anne, humming a catchy but comforting tune as she continued to light incense sticks around the room.

“Who are you?” Anne asked.

The girl turned around and looked down at Anne, “Hello, you”, she whispered with a smile. “You’re awake!”. She placed a hand on Anne’s forehead to feel her temperature and gently helped her sit up. “You’ve been sleeping a long time! I have been worried. How do you feel now?”. The girl’s voice was nice, Anne thought, relaxed and mysterious, almost melodic.

Anne stretched out and took a deep breathe, “I feel… good”, she said miraculously. What has she done to me to make me feel this way? Anne hadn’t felt so good since before she had been cursed.

The girls smile widened. “Good! Good! I think it’s working. My special paste”, the girl waved to a bowl of what looked to Anne to be nothing more than lake mud. Anne eyed it doubtfully. “Sorry, I should introduce myself!”, the girl laughed. “My name is Stella Belle. Stella Belle Ponmore, actually. I found you sleeping on the sand, damn near death, I’m afraid.” Anne smiled at the name, thinking that it was quite charming. Stella Belle, who couldn’t have been more than three or four years older than Anne was, extended her hand to Anne. “I couldn’t leave you there like that. I recognized the mark of a curse on you.”

Anne shook the girl’s hand, “I’m Anne. Thank you… for helping me. How did you treat me? I feel amazing, truly. The medical professionals at St. Mungos said there was no cure for my curse. They said there was nothing they could do to help me.”

Stella Belle sighed and smiled once again, “I can’t cure this curse Anne, I’m sorry. You will always have to treat this thing”, she paused but then smiled again, “but I bet, with my special paste, I can make it so you almost forget its there. I’ve been working on this recipe a long time and I think I really got it this time! You can live long and well!”

Anne inhaled a breath of disbelief. How can this be? “How? Its impossible. I’ve seen every specialist; I’ve tried every treatment.”

“That may be true, but you’ve never met a witch like me”, the girl winked at her. “Come, I’ll bring you into the main house and introduce you to my sisters”, Stella Belle reached out her hand and Anne took it, surprised to feel how strong she was as she stood up. Anne looked around her and finally took in the cabin that she had been sleeping in for who knows how long. The walls were covered with tapestries and taped-up paintings of flowers, the moon, and large trees. The floor was littered with pots, all sorts of plants growing out of them. Stella Belle noticed Anne’s curiosity. “You like my little place? This cabin has been my sanctuary since me and my sisters arrived here. I love them to death, but the Goddess knows that I have always been a bit of a recluse. I stay out here most nights, singing my songs and staring up at the moon. I never sleep”, she laughed.

Anne took in a breath of the incense-infused air. “It’s nice, a good place to wake up in”, she complemented as she followed the girl out of the cabin. The two girls walked in across a long grassy meadow to a large three-story white wooden home with black details on the windows and doors. “This is home for us!”, Stella Belle said as she opened the large double doors. “Sisters!”, she called out, “the girl is awake!”.

The interior of the home was simple, but charming with its white wooden structures and subtle details: golden candelabras on the shelves, potted plants on the windowsills, and crystals decorating the coffee tables. Stella Belle led Anne into a dining room where four young women were sitting, sipping tea. The beautiful red-headed one at the end of the table spoke first, “Goddess, it’s about time. I almost believed her to be a goner.”

Anne took in the young women’s long, pin-straight red hair, her large green eyes lined with bold full eyelashes, her dainty button nose, and full red lips, and suddenly felt subconscious about her own appearance. Before she could help herself, Anne’s fingertips went to her hair. It felt tangled and probably looked even worse. The red-headed women grimaced at her and Anne felt a sense of awe and insecurity due to the her beauty and… familiarity? Yes. Anne was sure she had met this girl before.

A brunette girl with ebony skin and large brown eyes rolled her eyes and spoke next as she got up out of her seat, “Don’t mind Clarrisa. She doesn’t bite as hard as she would like us all to believe she can. I’m Adrina”. The girl leaned in to give Anne a comforting hug before gesturing to the other two girls seated at the table. “This is Duffey”, she said as she gestured to a younger, short girl with cropped blonde hair, “and this is Massey”, waving to a freckled young woman with eccentric blue coloring in her long wavy locks of hair. The girls each gave Anne a warm, welcoming smile, even the red head. Anne felt comforted by this and smiled back.

The red-headed girl shrugged in a nonchalant way, “don’t worry, I’m only playing. We are all so happy to see that Stella Belle could pull off her mysterious mud paste. I never believed she could wake the dead.” This sentiment put a chill through Anne, even though the girl’s demeanor suggested she was joking in her own dark way. Stella Belle sighed and gave Anne a regretful look.

“How long was I… asleep?”, Anne asked timidly.

“Two months give or take, maybe a bit longer”, Stella Belle responded, putting her hand on Anne’s shoulder to comfort her. “Why don’t you have a seat?”, she asked as she pulled out the chair closest to them. Anne sat and Stella Belle sat in the chair nearest to her on the right. Anne quietly considered this. It had been two months since her uncle had passed away. Two months since she had last seen her brother. Where was he, she wondered. Had Ominis turned him in? Did he run off or did he return to Hogwarts? Anger filled her as her last moments with him returned to her. I don’t care, she thought. I will put the past behind me.

The younger girl named Duffey handed Anne a cup of tea and Anne gratefully took a sip, feeling the warmth hit her tongue and spread throughout her body a few moments later. She immediately felt calmer. “I made it with moon water”, the girl said reassuringly.

“Thank you. My name is Anne, by the way.” Anne said holding out her hand to Duffey and then to Clarrisa. “Do I know you from somewhere”, Anne asked the redhead hesitantly.

Clarrisa leaned back in her seat and sighed, “you might”, she said in an exasperated tone. “I’m assuming you were a student at that awful Hogwarts? I was a student there a couple of years back before I got the hell out.”

Anne was taken aback by Clarrisa’s description of Hogwarts. That awful Hogwarts? Anne had dreamt about returning to Hogwarts every night since she got ill. She missed nothing more than running through the halls with friends, teasing first-years, flying her broom through the courtyard, and practicing her spell casting. Anne felt a pang of sorrow at these memories; she hadn’t even practiced with her wand in over a year until that day when her Uncle Solomon had died… when the inferi corpses circled his body and Anne was forced to set them on fire… I will put the past behind me. Anne focused back on Clarrisa. “Yes, I remember you. I was only a second-year when you… left the school”. The memory came back to Anne now. Clarrisa was quite a popular fifth-year back then; even Anne knew about her despite being in a younger class.

“When she got expelled from the school, you mean?”, Adrina said, laughing. Expelled, Yes, Anne had remembered that now. The girl truly was quite popular at school and word of something as juicy as an expulsion got spread around by the students rather quickly. Still, Anne was unsure what she did to be expelled.

“Shut up, you bitch!”, Clarissa yelled, throwing an onyx quartz at the girl’s head. Although Adrina responded with an annoyed grimace, Anne could see a slight smile forming in the corner of the girl’s mouth. Anne sensed that this type of bickering was typical of their relationship, a sort of bonding. It reminded Anne of how her and her own twin brother used to fight, casting stink-bombs at one another as they ran through the halls of Hogwarts. That was before Anne got sick and Sebastian began to treat her as if she would break apart at the slightest disturbance.

Adrina giggled. “Don’t you dare tell the girl why you were expelled, Clarrisa. You may just scare her off,” Adrina said with an arched eyebrow.

Clarrisa gave Anne a mischievous look. “I didn’t do a thing. Not a thing wrong anyways…”. Anne gave her a look of curiosity, hoping she would continue.

Massey, the peculiar young woman with the blue hair, scoffed. “Clarrisa only exposed the soft pink behind of a potion-built muscle boy in front of the entire class”, she laughed.

Now, Clarrisa seemed irritated as she rolled her eyes. “I didn’t mean to do it! I didn’t even pick up my wand! Honestly, its most foul that Professor Hecat would even suggest that I could be held responsible. I was standing across the room!”. This shocked Anne. How could Clarrisa pull off such a trick without her wand?

“You did… do it though, didn’t you? You said that boy was vile…”, Stella Belle asked.

Clarrisa looked at Stella Belle with a blank stare, “That nasty fucking idiot thought he could charm his way into my pants. He got what he deserved.”

Anne couldn’t contain her curiosity, “You cast a spell without using your wand?”

Adrina clapped, “Hell yes, she did! They only knew it was her because another student overheard her whispering the spell! She sent that cry baby running home to mommy”.

All the girls laughed except for Clarissa. “I didn’t mean to do it!”.

“Yeah right,”, Massey said, “you spoke the words,”

“I didn’t know they would work without the wand, idiot!”, Clarrisa spat back.

“-Girls! Enough!”, interjected the voice of a tall, majestic looking woman with voluptuous brown curls on her head, entering the room from the main hall. The woman, who appeared to be in her late thirties, wore a floor-length white nightgown with long bell-sleeves that hung over her hipline, where her hands were now rested. “Clarrisa has a magnificent talent, one that she was not taught to control at the Hogwarts school. Her magic got the better of her, much like each of you, when you came to me.”

Stella Belle smiled and introduced Anne to the majestic woman. “Anne, I would like you to meet Voscha Zales.”

Voscha took Anne’s hand in her own and squeezed it tightly. “I am so glad to see that you have awoken and that you are strong.”, she spoke in a compassionate voice.

“Are you… also one of Stella Belle’s sisters?”, Anne asked. Anne was beginning to think that the group of women were not truly related by blood.

            “We are all sisters here, yes.”, Voscha replied. “Some ties are stronger than blood, even. I am the girls’ sister, their mother, and their teacher oftentimes.”

            “Voscha took all of us in when we needed it the most”, Stella belle told Anne.

            “It’s true. I remember the day I found you. Thank the goddess that I got to you when I did.”

            “It was a hell of day”, Stella Belle said with a pained look on her face, before her typical childlike smile returned. “You saved me.”

            “What happened?”, Anne asked in concern.

            Stella Belle grimaced, and her face transformed again to an angry one. “Muggles.”, she said. “I grew up in the muggle world, you know? I didn’t even know I had descended from a line of witches. My family never mentioned it and my own parents were muggles themselves… I always knew I was different though. I felt it in my veins and in my soul!”

            Anne gulped nervously. She was afraid she knew where this was going. While Anne’s own family had steered far away from any muggle communities, Anne had heard about stories in which muggles became violent towards witches and wizards. Although Anne had never actually met anyone with such an experience, she supposed those types of things still occurred from time to time.

            Stella Belle smiled sadly as she continued. “I used to love using my ‘special talents’ to heal others. It was mostly rabbits and injured birds in the beginning. Until there was a boy in my village, a year back or so. He was only eight, He had broken his leg when a horse ran into him, and the local doctors told him that he would never walk again. I knew I had to help him! So, I healed him up. It didn’t take too much out of me, honestly, and I was so excited to tell his parents what I had done. The boy was so grateful…”

            Although Anne was afraid to hear the rest, she pressed Stella Belle to continue. “What did they do?”

            “They hated me. My mother begged and cried, trying to convince them that I had just made it all up; that the boy was cured by some miracle, but no one believed her. The townsfolk took me from her and tied me to a tree. They were going to burn me at the stake”. Anne felt the anger rising in her chest. How twisted and cruel those muggles were. It was absolutely disgusting.

“A tale as old as time.”, Voscha shook her head in disappointment.

Stella Belle noticed the look on Anne’s face and spoke in a more soothing tone. “Don’t worry. They never had the chance. Lucky for me, Voscha had heard about what they were planning, and she got to me first. She made sure they could never hurt me again.”

“Merlin. I am so sorry that happened to you! I can’t even imagine it!”, Anne said.

“Trust me, you don’t want to imagine it.”, Adrina spoke in a deadpan voice. “I used to live in the muggle world too, and that shit was disturbing. They treat women like garbage, even more than they do in the wizarding societies. My own mother wanted to sell me to some old rich hag as her handmaiden, like I was some stupid nobody! I went along with it too, until her creepy son tried to put his hands on me… let’s just say, I made good use of my magic that day. After what I did to him, he’d be lucky even if he has hands”. Anne was shocked but she appreciated the young woman’s regretless attitude. She thought it was only right for these women to defend themselves. Anne would have done the same if put in those circumstances.

“And then you found us, which was destiny, I believe”, Voscha said.

“So, what is this place?” Anne asked, “A school for hurt girls?”

Voscha laughed, “I suppose it does serve that purpose often, yes. Our coven has migrated all of over the Western Lands, from Astaria to the Richlands to here. Many other girls have come to us in the same position as Stella Belle and Adrina, each lost and full of magical ability, but unsure how to hone it. We became a home for one another, a family of divine feminine power”.

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[fatedevour]

♢  —    @bogachs​​​​​​​ asked:  why are you looking at me like that ? (pantalone)

dusty toybox sentences: ACCEPTING!

   Pantalone’s voice startles Dottore out of his thoughts, though there’s little to OVERTLY betray that fact other than the reactionary blink. Pantalone snaps back into clear focus in his vision, and Dottore can see the slight furrow of his brows and the slight tug at his lips. WORRY. Apparently the silence had been long enough to provoke some level of concern. Albeit whether it was over Dottore’s oddly UNCHARACTERISTIC silence or for the potential REASONS was anyone’s guess. ( He could still recall when Pantalone had asked the question quite a while ago, with the concern likely of the doctor seeking experiments or some other matter).  But that is not the cause for tonight. For how red eyes seem like distant stars; bright but beyond the ability to be caught.

   He slowly draws in a breath as if POISED to speak and unravel the mystery for Pantalone, but the words never come. Like heavy clouds the moment lingers, but the answer remains unseen in a thick fog, a bird evading capture. How can he possibly put the reason into words? It sits in his chest like a weight. It might be more easily shared if he could dig his hand INSIDE his own chest and rip the reason out so Pantalone might see for himself. But IT isn’t tangible like an organ or blood or bone. Emotions obey no logic or laws other than themselves, they cannot be GRASPED and BARED. Even with science, they can only provoke or deliver chemicals to stimulate reactions. There was no way to force them to be seen, no way to control what they did. WORDS could aid, but never fully TELL. Not to mention, Dottore wouldn’t even know WHAT to say. What does his expression even look like to Pantalone? To himself? It must be STRANGE or OUT OF PLACE on Dottore’s face if Pantalone can’t pin the cause down like a butterfly to a board and instead has to ask. Dottore himself couldn’t name the feeling either, Pantalone would have had a better chance. 

   Look what you’ve done to me. That is what he wants to say. Look at how he finds peace in the calm of watching Pantalone work, or the way the lighting reflects on ice-covered windows of the office, look how much he’s come to SAVOR times with Pantalone. LOVE has not made Dottore KINDER or traditionally ROMANTIC like the stories say. Dottore is still Dottore, with all his cruelty and ambition and selfishness, particularly of this segment. But it HAS let the beast rest with comfort in the presence of another, to enjoy the warmth of another. He is here because he chooses; they both are. It is a BITTERSWEET thought that had struck him and earned Pantalone’s question. This will not last forever. PANTALONE will not last forever, not without intervention. There is UNFATHOMABLE CRUELTY in making a hated beast know what affection is, of making it trust, of making it learn to CARE for something else. Dottore was SELFISH, had always placed himself FIRST and cared about NO ONE else. It wasn’t so true anymore. There was an exception, like there always was in the laws of science. Only one. And it currently was staring at him.

    It takes effort to not furrow his brow. How SOFT of him. 

  Dottore pushes the thoughts away as he leans forward with a teasing grin.  “  I seem to recall you having asked that once before. Concerned again, dear?  “  He stands up with a stretch, reaching out to pluck his mask from the corner of the banker’s desk.  “  I was just thinking, that’s all. Nothing of dire importance. “  He replies simply, placing the mask back into his face as usual. “  So as WONDERFUL of a distraction as being in your hair always is, I’ll be heading back to my lab. There’s a few things I was waiting for that should be dropped off by now I want to test.  “

[oneprompt]

Yooo your writing is so good!!! If it's alright, may I ask for the monster trio's hcs on almost losing their S/O in a fight with other pirates/marines? (Sorry if its a bit angsty among all these fluff fisbg)

authors note: hii <3 im very glad you’re enjoying it , that means a lot to hear ! and yes , i do love me some good angst .. i hope you enjoy ! <3 + zoro’s takes place during enies lobby , luffy’s takes place during wano and sanji’s takes place in whole cake <3 just . thought it’d be easiest to use pre existing arcs ...!

Zoro ( Almost ) Losing His S/o Headcanons

• Zoro finished his fight as quick as he could. He knew there was possibly more keys to find... and even if there wasn’t, you all still had to reach Robin. And you.... Zoro was furious at himself. How could he let you linger alone? Not that he thought you were weak, no. You were a force to be reckoned with. But Zoro couldn’t help but worry about which Cp9 agent you were put against, especially considering he struggled within his own fight..

• He’s quick to take his key and run up the crumbling stairs of the Tower of Law. Please be okay. Zoro didn’t look the part but he was so worried, so concerned. Zoro needed you to be safe, he was praying you weren’t put up against any of the big guys...

• And finally, Zoro had found you. The sight was one he had never wanted to witness in his life. He had no clue how to react, truly. Zoro never had a person in his life to call his, no one that made him feel the way you did. So, seeing you doused in blood, the deep slices upon your chest from claws made his blood boil. You had to be alive, right? You weren’t dead. No, you couldn’t be.

• Where was everyone? Where was Chopper? Zoro has no experience with medical supplies, not like that mattered, as he had none. He tried to not stare at you, trying to steady his somewhat shaky breathing. You had been pinned up against that leopard zoan user, hadn’t you? Wasn’t that guy the strongest? Why couldn’t you have been anywhere else?

• The light tears that laced his dark eyes were quick to slip and dissolve as you suddenly touched him. The sudden weight of your hand upon Zoro’s broad shoulder felt heavy, it felt endless in this moment. Were you.. really okay? As soon as he finally looks back at your bloody and disheveled self, he’s greeted with the softest smile he’s ever seen you bear upon your face.

• You want to apologize. Say sorry for failing your battle with Lucci, for worrying Zoro. But Zoro gives you not even a moment to think of what to say, as he pulls you into an almost out of character embrace. It was full of love, of security. Even as the claw marks upon your chest stayed branded on, you cling to Zoro, giving no regards to the scene that was before you both. Zoro was so happy to see you.

Luffy ( Almost ) Losing His S/o Headcanons

• Luffy is immediately engulfed by sudden flashes and memories of Marineford. He’s reminded of the soul crushing despair that engulfed his pure heart as Ace died within his arms. And here it was, happening once more. But not with Ace, with you. You were his most prized shipmate, he loved you a lot. No way was this happening... Luffy couldn’t lose someone he loved so dearly, not again.

• He’s squeezing you, nails digging into your flesh. Luffy is pleading, begging at that point. You had to be alive, you’ve survived much worse then this. You two would make it out of here. You and everyone else would beat Kaido and Tobi Roppo, wouldn’t you? You had to! You all made a promise... you promised to be at Jinbe’s banquet with the rest of the Straw Hats, with the other samurai..

• Luffy can’t help but cry. It’s out of character but with the sight of your body bruised and molded in such a painful state, it’s impossible not to. The way you’re making... you look so peaceful, just like Ace. Ace had the same smile on his face before he fell upon Luffy, adjusting every bit of dead weight onto the younger boy.

• He should’ve been there to help. Luffy couldn’t help but blame himself. Where was he during your grand fight? You must’ve advanced to King and Queen far too quick... Why couldn’t you have waited? Luffy could’ve been there.. he wanted to help, he could’ve helped. Did you die because of him...?

• Yet, the sudden noise of coughing made his sobbing halter, at least in volume. Luffy looked down at you, your bruised and bloodied face now accompanied with the presence of your hopeful eyes. You were alive..? Luffy’s tears cascaded downward, gently splattering down onto your cold cheeks. He couldn’t believe it..

• Luffy is all over you, crying his entire heart out. But can you blame him? He didn’t want to endure a repeat of what happened with Ace, pacing through another heart wrenching death. Your well being meant everything to Luffy, it truly did. He wanted to become the Pirate King with you on his side, he needed you in order to tap into his full potential. Without you, he could never reach his dreams.

Sanji ( Almost ) Losing His S/o Headcanons

• Sanji’s rapid footsteps pattered through the wedding, slamming down onto the cracker tracks that placed themselves throughout the setting. He saw the way you fell to the ground, every inch of you slamming to the candy coated ground as Big Mom had used her devil fruit. You couldn’t be dead... were you truly that afraid of Big Mom? So much so she could suck every bit of life out of you?

• Sanji can’t help but feel completely at fault. This was all his fault. If he hadn’t came here, if he hadn’t treated you all so badly before departing, none of this would’ve happened. If only Sanji wasn’t born, none of you would have to deal with him. It should’ve been him to die, not you. He knew how awful of a man he was, he knew how happier you would be without him on your side.

• It takes him all of his strength to hold in his tears. Crying was for the weak, wasn’t it? Instead, Sanji just stares at you, almost as if he was completely numb and oblivious to the world around him. You’d get up, right? You couldn’t die. No. You couldn’t, he wouldn’t let such a thing happen to you.

• Why did you come here to save him? Why did any of you show up for him? If you all let Sanji be wedded to Pudding, none of this would happen. You and the rest of the present Straw Hats wouldn’t have been put under such dangerous circumstances. Sanji felt at fault. He couldn’t even sell his life away correctly without hurting anyone..

• The sudden embrace around his neck is enough to make Sanji gasp. Was it...an enemy? No. No, it was the best thing it could’ve been. It was you. How had you overcome Big Mom’s devil fruit, you wonder. Sanji doesn’t hesitate to hug you back, not in the slightest. He held you as tight as he could, allowing you to sob into the white suit jacket he wore, your tears seeping into his cotton button up shirt.

• Sanji carries you upward and flees further away from the wedding, all the while giving you reassurance. He feels horrible for what he put through, not just physically. Just suddenly departing, saying he’s wedding another woman, leaving his true beloved behind must’ve been soul crushing for you.. Sanji would never let that happen again, he’d never allow you to feel such a way ever again.

[drspencerweed]

Dreams Do Come True

Summary/Request: from anon: CONGRATS ON HITTING 500 ILYSM!!! random request,, having a wet dream about spencer while sharing a room on a case (i know, super original) and him getting all hot and bothered hearing you moan 🙈😁

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

W/C: 3484

Content: smut, fluff, friends to lovers, oral sex (both receiving), premature ejaculation, wet dream, sub!spencer

A/N: Hi! So this probably isn’t exactly what you asked for, but I started writing it and it kind of took on a mind of it’s own. I banged this out in two days, it practically wrote itself. I hope you enjoy! 

Masterlist

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Sharing a hotel room with her was normal. It was. Sure, they had never done it before, but that was just because Hotch had never randomly assigned the two of them before. So okay, it wasn’t normal by definition. But he wasn’t going to make it weird. Just because he had a small crush on her did not mean that he would let it be weird. They were colleagues, and they even spent time together outside of work too! She would come to his apartment to watch old movies, and he would go to hers so she could cook for him. So he knew he could spend time with her alone, that wasn’t the problem. 

It was the sleeping that was potentially the issue. 

His little crush had been invading his subconscious almost constantly nowadays, and he was known to talk in his sleep. He was so scared he would say something wrong in his sleep. If she overheard something like that, he knew their friendship would never recover. How can you act normal around someone who said your name in their sleep? 

He had been avoiding going to sleep before her, so he had taken Derek up on his offer for a drink in his room to talk about anything but the case they were working. 

“So when are you going to tell [Y/N] that you’re into her?” Derek asked out of nowhere. 

Spencer stuttered around the sip of his drink. “W-Who says I’m interested in her?” 

Derek just laughed and clapped Spencer on the shoulder. His cheeks were burning, a sure sign of his embarrassment at being called out. “Pretty boy, you give her heart eyes every time she walks in a room.” 

His blush deepened. “Even if I was interested, there’s a very low probability that she is also interested. So the answer to your question would be never, obviously.” Derek stopped his giggling and gave Spencer an incredulous look. 

“All that genius and you don’t see how she looks at you?” Derek asked. 

“How she looks at me?” 

“She looks at you like you hung the stars, man.” 

Spencer scoffed, brushing off the comment. “No she doesn’t.” 

Derek started laughing again, “Yes she does! Oh my god, the genius can’t read basic body language?” 

“Even if, occasionally, her body language reflected an attraction to me, it was probably because she was thinking of someone she actually was attracted to.  Statistically, most women find me awkward and-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, none of this negative self talk. You’re a catch!” 

Spencer just waved his hand at the comment, taking a long sip of his whiskey and coughing a bit as he swallowed. Derek eyed him curiously. 

“I’m telling you, you’re never gonna get anywhere if you never shoot your shot. The worst thing that could happen is she says no.” Derek advised. He shook his head and finished his drink . 

“The worst that could happen is she thinks I’m an absolute weirdo and never wants to talk to me again.” Spencer explained.

“That’s not going to happen.” Spencer rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

“I can’t risk losing her.” He insisted. Derek sighed and accepted that he was a lost cause, leaning back in his seat and changing the subject. 

~~~~

Spencer made his way back to the room a few hours later, saying a silent prayer to a God he didn’t believe in that she was already asleep. The light was off, so he clicked on the bathroom light so he could see but hopefully not wake her. 

“[Y/N]?” He called quietly into the dark. All he got in response was a small whimper. He thanked his lucky stars and made his way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. 

Once he was all cleaned up and in a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt, he made his way to climb into bed. Just as he swung the sheets off, he heard a low moan from the bed next to him. It stopped him in his tracks. He turned towards her bed, looking at her face for any signs of distress. Nightmares could be debilitating; he knew from experience. But her face was peaceful, beautifully restful. He stopped again for a different reason, taking in the way her face looked as she slept. 

Then it scrunched up as she let out another moan. His eyebrows furrowed, wanting to wake her in case she was having a bad dream, but not wanting to disturb her. He swallowed thickly. 

Another moan. This one was followed quickly by a quick, “Spencer!” He reeled, unsure where his name had come up. Was she dreaming about him? Was she having a nightmare about him? Or was she calling out for his help?

She let a long, drawn out, “Oh,” and rolled from her side onto her back. He took a step forward, planning to shake her awake from what was clearly a nightmare at this point. But suddenly, “Go on, lick me.” 

Spencer stopped with his hands out above her shoulders, inches from waking her. Lick me? He mouthed to himself. What could she possibly be dreaming about? 

“Fuck, Spencer, I’m gonna cum!” She exclaimed, rolling back on her side. And-oh my gosh. Spencer took three quick steps back, realizing far too late exactly what was happening. He was entirely unsure how to react. [Y/N]? Having a sex dream about him? It was unbelievable. On his third step back, he ran right into his bed, and lost his balance. 

He fell to the floor with a crash. 

Her eyes blinked open, and he didn’t have any time to get up or move at all, so her eyes met his immediately upon waking. “Spencer? What happened?” Her voice was tired from sleep.

Spencer blinked, and immediately panicked. He was never good at lying under pressure. “I-uh. You were having a, uhm, dream. And I thought, thought it was a nightmare so-” As he spoke, [Y/N]’s face got redder and redder, and she sat up in bed and placed her face in her hands. 

“Oh no, you didn’t hear anything, did you?” She asked cautiously, barely chancing a glance up at him. He swallowed tightly and nodded. “Fuck me!” She said, throwing her head back on the pillow. Her voice sent something through him, and all he wanted was to say Okay and kiss her. But Spencer knew one didn’t control their own subconscious. Just because she had a dream about him didn’t means she actually wanted it to happen. He scrambled to his feet and cleared his throat. 

Before he could say something, anything really, she was sitting up again with a groan, rubbing her hand over her face. “Well I guess now you know about my stupid crush.” 

“Your crush?” He asked. She looked at him incredulously. 

“You heard me moan your name in my sleep. Yes, obviously, my crush. On you.” She explained matter of factly. He stuttered, trying to allow his brain to process the amount of information he had just been given. It didn’t make sense to him. [Y/N] was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, not to mention one of the most confident. She carried herself with such authority he never thought she’d look twice in his direction. Clearly, she’d want some confident alpha male who could match her energy, not his insecure nervous self. But here she was, telling him point blank that she had a crush on him. 

He didn’t know what to do. While he was standing there, stuttering, trying to gather his thoughts, [Y/N] made her way out of her bed to stand in front of him. She was only wearing a tank top and a pair of small shorts, and he could barely keep himself from staring at her body. “I had no idea.” He finally settled on saying, and she let out a loud laugh. 

“Really? Profiler extraordinaire? No idea? Why do you think I cooked for you so many times?” She smiled at him while she said it, like she couldn’t quite believe he didn’t see it. 

“I thought you just wanted to be friends!” He exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. She seemed to deflate at this, her face falling and wringing her hands together. 

“I did! I do! But I was always open to...more. I just wanted to spend time with you.” She explained, sitting back on the edge of her bed and staring down at her hands. “But you clearly have no interest in that-” 

“No! No.” He corrected quickly, and then realized with a sudden clarity that since her confession he’d done nothing to imply he felt the same. She stared up at him at his exclamation, unsure what he meant. 

“No?” 

“No, you’re wrong, I do have interest in that. In more.” He explained, sitting next to her. He awkwardly reached for her hand, which she offered with a small smile. Lacing their fingers together, he looked her in the eye with purpose. “I also have a crush on you. I stayed out of the room tonight because I was trying to avoid, uhm. What happened to you. I thought that might happen to me.” 

She stared at their entwined hands, and then looked back at him. “Really?” 

“Yes, really.” He smiled at her, and her face brightened immediately. She turned completely towards him and pulled him in by the neck, pressing their foreheads together. Spencer let their noses rub together, both of them still beaming. 

“I’m going to kiss you now.” She whispered, her breath fanning over his lips as she said it. Before he could even nod, her lips pressed to his. It was magic. Her lips were soft and urgent, catching his bottom lip between them. Her hands pulled him closer to her by the neck, and he let his hands find her waist, urging her closer. She climbed into his lap with his guidance, and he let his tongue slip into her mouth as she did it. Her hands roamed into his hair, pushing it off his head and carding her fingers through it, causing him to moan. She giggled into his mouth. 

“You like having your hair played with, baby?” She asked, pulling away to watch his reaction as she tugged on his roots. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he let his hands drop to her ass. He squeezed and pulled her down onto him, letting his lips find her neck. She let out a loud groan as he sucked a mark into her pulse point, but she pushed him away with both hands on his cheeks. 

“Not above the collar,” She reminded. He smirked at the idea of everyone on the team knowing what they were doing. At everyone on the team knowing that she wanted to do this with him. 

“But what if I want people to know you’re mine.” He asked, pressing a quick kiss to her lips as he said it. She smiled at him. 

“I think you’ve got this whole thing wrong then.” 

He furrowed his brow at her, unsure what he could have possibly misunderstood. 

“You, Dr. Reid, are mine.” She said, and then pushed him down onto the bed. He stared up at her perched on his lap, and let his hands roam her body. Now that he had free reign to touch, he never wanted to stop. She sighed and ran her hands down his chest, going to the bottom of his shirt and pulling it off of him. Her hands lit fires under his skin, as he gripped her by the hips and rolled his hardness into her. She chuckled at him. 

“Hard already, baby?” She teased. He moaned and threw his head back as she rotated her hips on him. “Use your words.” She ordered, gripping his face to make him look at her. 

“Yes, miss.” He answered on instinct. He immediately froze up, trying to take back the honorific when they had never discussed anything like that. It just slipped out, his little experience with being a submissive taking over because of [Y/N]’s naturally dominant role. But her eyes lit up, and she simply smirked at him. 

“Good boy.” She whispered, and pressed down hard with her hips. 

He came in his pants. 

With a loud groan and a thrust upward, he shot into his sweatpants. She chuckled as he shuddered through his orgasm, and leaned down to kiss him. As soon as he came down from the high, embarrassment overtook him. He had a chance with his dream girl, and he literally blew it not five minutes in. Because she called him a Good boy. He brought his hands up to cover his face, but she caught his wrists before he could reach. He closed his eyes and turned his face away, not ready for the ridicule that was sure to follow.

“Awh, did I make you cum?” She rolled her hips a few times, and he hissed at the oversensitivity.  “That’s so hot.” 

“W-What?” He asked, turning back towards her slowly. She was beaming at him. 

“You were so overwhelmed with me that you came so quick, what’s not hot about that?” She said, stroking his cheek. “The cutest boy, all worked up, just for me.” 

He blushed again, and swallowed as he smiled back at her. “But what about you?” 

“What about me?” She asked. His hands danced along her sides, cupping her breasts and teasing her nipples through her shirt. 

“Wanna make you feel good.” He said while she gasped. 

“What’s stopping you?” She asked with a smirk. He surged upwards and began kissing her again, only stopping to finally rip her shirt off of her and get his hands on her bare breasts. Her hands found his hair again and tugged on the strands, causing their mouths to break apart as he panted. 

“Wanna taste you.” He requested. She moaned and pulled him into another kiss, guiding his hands to touch her under her shorts. His fingers trailed through her wetness, and she moaned against his lips. Then he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them, while her eyes watched through hooded lids. He moaned around his fingers, the taste of her so intoxicating he wanted more of it.  

“You’re so fucking hot. Such a good, good boy.” She whispered, stroking his hair. Then she crawled off his lap and laid out on the bed next to him. He turned to watch her as she shimmied off her shorts. Her eyes fell to where he was still sucking on his fingers. She gestured him over to her, and he quickly crawled between her legs. She nodded towards him. “Go on then, taste me.” 

He dove in tongue first, with broad licks up and down her pussy. Her hands immediately laced through his hair, pulling him closer to her. His tongue traced from her hole to her clit. He wrapped his arms around her thighs and pulled her in, letting his lips latch onto her clit and sucking. Flicking the tip of it with his tongue, she moaned and threw her head back on the pillows. 

“Oh!” She cried, and it sounded just like when she was having the dream earlier. Spencer had a quick thought about making her dreams come true,  but brushed it to the side as idealized thinking. Then she lifted his head off of her and looked straight into his eyes. “Go on, lick me.” 

Whether she remembered her dream or not, she was clearly living out her fantasy. He lolled his tongue out of his mouth and leisurely licked over her pussy, his tongue flat and wide. She canted her hips up towards him, and he let his tongue form rapid circles around her clit. Her moans fueled his motions, and he moved one of his hands down to pressed two fingers into her. 

She whined as he entered her, and let out a quick “Spencer!” He curled his fingers while sucking on her clit again, and her thighs began to clench around his head. He found the right spot inside her by listening to her moans, and then focused all his attention there while flicking his tongue against her clit. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” She cried, tugging on his hair. He kept doing everything exactly the same, pushing her over the edge with a loud shout. He kept up his ministrations until she pushed him off from the oversensitivity. She let out a loud sigh as he pulled off, and her hands went up to clutch at her own hair for a change. Staring up at the ceiling, she let a grin cross her face as a few aftershocks rolled through her. He admired her as she came down from her high, and then moved to the bathroom to wash his hands and get a rag to clean her up. 

When he came back he went to wipe her down, but she took the rag from him. “Sit. I get to take care of you, now.” She wiped herself down and then kneeled in front of him. She pulled down his sweatpants, which stuck a little to his cock which was hard again. Smirking up at him, she began wiping him down while he hissed, the gentle touches not enough for him. Suddenly her hot mouth wrapped around his head, and he groaned out. She made quick work of him, throwing her all into the blowjob from the start, taking him as deep as possible over and over. His hands clenched in the sheets as he came for a second time, this time down her throat. 

She swallowed as he watched in awe, and then wiped down his softening cock and stood up. Silently, she made her way to the bathroom and got rid of the dirty towel. 

When she came back Spencer was still sitting on the edge of the bed. He smiled up at her and reached out a hand, which she took gladly letting him pull her in for a hug, with her standing between his knees. 

“I really like you, you know.” He said, his chin resting between her breasts as he stared up at her. 

“I know. I really like you too.” 

“Would you like to get dinner with me, when the case is over?” 

“As long as we can keep doing what we just did before then, absolutely.” She said with raised eyebrows. He let out a laugh which made her smile, and he pressed a kiss to her chest. 

“Of course.” 

“You can make my other dreams come true.” She smirked. 

“I’d love to.” 

~~~~

When they walked into the precinct the next morning, [Y/N] was wearing a scarf, despite the hot Texas heat. She hadn’t quite caught Spencer in time, and he had in fact left a mark. Of course the whole team noticed.

“Oi, Pretty Boy, was [Y/N] in your room last night?” Derek asked at the coffee station. Luckily Spencer was facing away from him, so Derek didn’t see how his immediate reaction was to blanche at the memories from the night before. He gathered himself quickly.

“Yes, of course, why?” He asked as he turned around, stirring his coffee. Derek’s attention was on [Y/N], who was talking to an officer on the other side of the precinct.

“That scarf is only there to hide something, I think our lovely lady might’ve got some last night.” Derek said with a smirk. “Don’t let it break your heart, you still have a chance!” He turned to Spencer and clapped him on the shoulder, who was blushing intensely at the tease. [Y/N] had, in fact, ‘got some’, and he was the some she got with. Derek noticed he was off. 

“C’mon, I’m just teasing. She probably didn’t get a chance to-” While he was talking, Spencer caught [Y/N]’s eye from across the room. She smirked at him and waved, and he smiled and waved back. Derek cut himself off when he saw Spencer’s wave, turning to see just as [Y/N]’s face turned back to the officer she was talking to. “Oh my god. You crazy man, you actually did it!” Derek exclaimed, shaking Spencer. 

Spencer spluttered, shaking his head. “N-No, it’s not like that, I-” 

“I don’t need all the details, I just need to know it happened. Because it did happen, didn’t it?” He asked, trying to look Spencer in the eye, but the latter was aggressively avoiding eye contact. Spencer pursed his lips to try and contain his smile as he nodded. “My man!” Derek exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. 

Spencer caught [Y/N]’s eye again over Derek’s shoulder, and the smile she gave him made him smile right back. 

They had dreams to realize tonight.

Final A/N: thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! 

taglist: @rusticreid​ @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​ 

send me a message or comment on this fic to be added to my taglist!

[technicallymilkshakes]

Let Me Be the Stranger You Know || Part I

Genre(s): Fantasy, Slowburn Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: For @nfly5 as part of my Secret Santa gift for the @exolssecretsanta 2021 event. Surprise! 🎅 You mentioned you were interested in astrology and mythology, and I took that and ran with it. While it’s not yet complete, I hope you still enjoy this labor of love; I tried to give Baek some of that mysterious/sexy energy from Obsession and Bambi, too. You seem an absolutely talented sweetheart and I wish you the merriest of holidays and a happy and healthy new year! 

You lived in a place where only dreams grew, unseen by stars. Mum couldn't tell you which constellation you were born under, hidden as you were under forest canopy and rain. “It doesn't matter, my little dream come true,” she would whisper into your hair, “so long as I have you.”

But when the Raze came, she saw you off with a look of anguished resolution.

“This day had to come,” she had whispered fiercely to you when you clung to her, sobbing, begging her to keep you. “The stars were always meant to find you, my little dream. But when you sleep, I will be there. I will always be right there.” And she pushed you away.

You emerged from your tent and stretched, shaking thoughts of the night away. It had been many years since Raze Yixing had pulled you from that place and into Null House, but you could summon the memories like they were just yesterday. You remembered the first time you saw the ocean and sailed upon it. The wind that rode the waves had smelled cool and briny. Birds had flown over from the end of the earth full of stories in foreign languages. It was your first taste of a new world, and you had craved more ever since.

In quick fashion, you took care of your morning business, packed your saddlebags, dissembled your tent, and threw it in the storage wagon.

You were just elbowing Anskjo to keep him from bloating before you'd properly tightened the girth when Minseok sidled up to you.

“Chop, chop. You're holding the whole company back. We'll never reach the capital at this pace.”

You shot him a sour look after pointedly staring around at all of the pitched tents. “Oh, go make yourself useful and kick down a tent or something.”

Minseok threw his head back and cackled. “You're really not a morning person, are you?”

“I hate you sometimes,” you muttered.

“That's good, because I hate you all the time,” he cheeked right back.  

But he waited patiently, if not more a little more chatty than you would've preferred at this hour, as you finished tightening the girth and began loading up your greatcoat, saddlebags, and other gear.  

According to Minseok, you should be reaching Domynead's capital, Laughei, shortly after the twelfth toll. Palpable excitement crept through the soldiers. The palace had felt it prudent to recall some of the Second Regiment's companies to the capital ahead of peace talks with the envoy en route from the Sevlinian Khaganate. For many soldiers, it would be their first time in Laughei, and they regarded the opportunity with delight rather than the wariness one might expect from a potential clash with a rival country.

You mounted up with a vague anticipation swirling about you, wondering what new stories you would unearth.

The stars governed nearly every facet of life, including which House one belonged to. For the few who didn't know which constellation had blessed their birth, Null House was a refuge.

As the only House unaffiliated with a particular constellation, Null House presided over diplomatic affairs for all the other thirteen Houses. But more than anything else, the auspice of Null House was the discovery and archiving of knowledge.

Raze Yixing taught you everything you needed to know to become a proper Raze in your own right, which... wasn't much, to be fair. Namely to “look for the unknown and the unquestioned.”

It was a simple test. He had taken you into an empty room, sat on the floor, and closed his eyes.

You had stood there blinking before following suit. For an hour. In silence.

Until you finally asked, “So... what are we doing?”

Yixing had cracked open an eye.

“Sitting.”

He closed his eyes again.

“...and what am I doing here?”

At that, Yixing had smiled. “Becoming a Raze, I think.”

You felt your eyebrows draw together in confusion. “That's it?”

He had stood, walking to where you were still seated and placing a hand on your head. He was older than you by about a decade at your best guess. He kept his long hair tied in a ponytail, wore gold-rimmed glasses, and was kinder than almost anyone else you had ever met.

“Never follow anyone blindly, little one. That is the most important lesson I can teach you. You questioned your teacher, even though I hadn't invited it.

“It takes bravery to speak first, and humility to admit ignorance. Keep these qualities, and they shall serve you well in life.” He smiled gently. “Very well done.”

Null House shared its vast knowledge bank through information and goods exchanges. External house members would visit to find counsel, or to be escorted to territories hostile to them by a Raze thanks to their diplomatic immunity. But you sought something more valuable than who was having an affair with who, or what petty inter-House drama was brewing, or even why a riot was fomenting in the south.

You wanted the learn truth of the stars themselves, something miraculously no one seemed to know about despite the ubiquity of them in legends. Your desperation grew so great that it came to the attention of the Zenith of Null House, Grandree, who called you to her office.

“You have stumbled upon one of our greatest oversights,” she said. “We know very little about the stars. But  there is truth in all stories.” Here, she paused, steepling her fingers and staring at you. “Do you know where the best place to hear them is?”

You shook your head.

Her lips stretched in a long, slow smile.

And so you found yourself embedded in the Second Domynead Regiment for the past three years. You'd sit by the dim edge of campfires and feel the impossible gravity of a good story drawing everyone into its orbit. Afterwards, you'd stumble back into your tent and scribble everything you'd heard in a simple leather-bound book gifted to you by Zenith Grandree right before your departure. Even after three years, though, there wasn't much.

There was Liritz, Eight House constellation. Legend had it that Liritz was a renowned thief who stole the queen's prized magic crystal and swallowed it to keep from being caught. But as the days passed, his skin began to glow. Crystal shards grew from his stomach and spread through his body until he could no longer move at all. When the queen's hound found him, she ordered Liritz publicly shattered and the pieces of him distributed to the crowd, so that they may always have light to guard against those foolish enough to try to do them wrong. Eighth House was dedicated to the mastery of defense and illumination.

There was Illu, Eleventh House constellation, the young girl who fell to her death after trying to pluck all the fruit from Sarym, Fourth House constellation, the first peach tree. Eleventh House focused on child-rearing, whereas Fourth House cultivated the land, encouraging more generous harvests.

But you were most interested in the story of the great bull god, Arturus. Creator of the universe who bestowed the blessing of fertility on First House, whose members were regarded as the god's first descendants. It was the only legend you had heard with no known variance—the world had fallen off the back of the great black bull as he rampaged through the sky, tearing holes in the fabric of the universe with his horns.

Whoops echoed through the ranks as Black Gate came into view. The palace had been built on a promontory and the glass from the dome of Heaven's Eye caught and fractured the light like a beacon to the weary soldiers.

But before relief could properly sink into you, Lieutenant Colonel Peng pulled up alongside you. Minseok cast you a sympathetic glance before urging Jinx, his gelding, away to give the two of you space.

LTC Peng had only begrudgingly admitted you to the regiment on Zenith Grandree's request and had held it against you ever since. No matter the work you'd put into learning swordsmanship, ascending from Deimos to Phobos over in just three years, she only barely tolerated your presence. Your encounters with her rarely brought you good tidings.

“You'll be supplementing the Crown Prince's personal guard effective immediately. You'll stay in the Military Ward. Report by seventh bell in the morrow; someone will take you to an audience. Congratulations, you're someone else's problem now.”

And without even waiting for a response, she spurred her mount forward and left you gaping in her dust.

“What the hell,” Minseok complained. “That's not fair. I want to sleep in the Military Ward.”

“And meet the Crown Prince,” you added, just for good measure. You felt a bit as if your stomach had dropped out of your body. A golden egg had just fallen into your lap, but you couldn't help but think it must be rotten inside.

Minseok shrugged. “Eh, don't care about him. But a bed? A bed sounds amazing.”

You snorted. Trust Minseok to have his priorities straight. You'd miss him something fierce in the palace, but you'd rather take that secret to your grave than give him the satisfaction of lording it over you.

You were introduced to the Crown Prince in the audience the next day. His Royal Highness Minhyuk had a benevolent air and an easy laugh, and insisted everyone call him by his given name, which you all had the good sense to ignore.

Four new guards were being added to his retinue: Phobos Lyckenal, Phobos Arhant, Phobos Choi, and yourself, bringing the total to thirteen.

“The same number of Houses,” Prince Minhyuk noted cheerily after a steward had read out your names and Houses. You couldn't help but notice the surprised looks shot your way when Null House followed your name.

The original members of the guard had attended the audience as well, and the Prince introduced them one by one before moving onto his counsel.

“This is Baekhyun, my Royal Advisor.” He indicated a man who had remained off to the side, observing quietly. Baekhyun tipped his head in silent acknowledgment. His sleepy eyes were framed above a dark veil, and nearly buried in his hair were the rough, sawed-off stubs of ivory horns.

You bit down on your lip. A First House Asturian, then. But what had happened to his horns?

“As the newest members of my guard, we will need to evaluate your skillsets. Royal Advisor Baekhyun will be overseeing your training. I've prepared a few tests for all of you,” he glanced back at the old guard, “and Advisor Baekhyun will be reporting his observations to me daily. I look forward to the results.”

After the audience, you shuffled back out of the chamber with the three other new guards, who immediately ran wild with speculation on the Royal Advisor.

“You see that,” they murmured. “He didn't have any horns.”

“Never seen that before.”

“Bet he's some kind of eunuch,” Lyckenal, by far the most boisterous of the lot, proclaimed with a snicker. “Can you believe it? Asturi castrati. Isn't it shameful? He must've taken advantage of the poor Prince's kindness.” He chuckled as Arhant ribbed him playfully with his elbow.

You felt a headache building. Did these people have no wits? The Asturian didn't just become a Royal Advisor by sitting on his thumbs all day. You, at least, didn't want to make an enemy of the man, nor the Prince who had appointed him.

“You sure you have something between your legs, 'Nallie?” you interrupted. “Because I've heard stories...”

The other men laughed while Lyckenal spluttered and turned bright red.

You exhaled a quiet breath, unaware of the eyes on you.

It should have been no great wonder, then, that the two outliers of the Crown Prince's entourage would find themselves drifting into each other's orbit. You hadn't exactly endeared yourself to the others on your first day, and as for him, well, the Crown Prince's personal guard were more than a little nervous about being in the presence of His Highness's Royal Advisor.

You were watching the last of the guard racing up the slope to the practice yard. Prince Minhyuk had commanded that his personal guard be able to complete two hundred squats and two orbits of the yard before the ninth toll or be reassigned. After two months of rigorous training, there were still at least two members were in serious jeopardy of not making it.

“The Crown Prince is kind of an asshole, huh,” you said quietly, pressed up against Baekhyun's shoulder. You felt his gaze drift to yours, his eyes wide over the veil he often wore.

He tilted his head closer to yours.

“Careful,” he whispered. You saw the trace of his smile through the translucent material. “Someone might interpret that as treasonous.”

You fluttered your eyelashes at him. “You wouldn't.”

He laughed, a sound so quiet and precious. “I wouldn't,” he admitted easily.

The words struck you like a premonition and sent a shiver down your spine. And as if he could feel it, he met your gaze, eyes warm and open.

You jolted and instinctively averted your gaze, feeling your ears go hot when you heard him chuckle. He had turned that back around on you too easily, you thought, scowling.

Baekhyun was beautiful in a way that nearly defied description. Silver hair, blue eyes turned sharp with kohl, and a manner that seemed to ingratiate him wherever he went.

He had a natural charm that belied his success as Royal Advisor. You'd seen him turn an ambassador to mush with a fleeting touch and a smile. You'd heard the rumors of Asturi during your time in the regiment.

The Asturi train in the arts of seduction.

I heard they hold massive orgies in First House during lunar eclipses.

My sister has a friend who knows someone in First House and she said they all have make at least one hundred people fall in love with them to ascend above the rank of novice.

But you knew better than to blindly believe in rumors.

Yet, your first impressions of each other weren't very good.

It was clear he hadn't known what to make of you when you sat down next to him at the first training session. He gave you a cool, assessing look before turning away as if to dismiss you. It had immediately irked you. You had wanted to grab his chin and force him to acknowledge you like some recalcitrant child. Luckily, you were a little more civilized than that.

“Don't you have better things to do than watch us spar?”

He was quiet for so long that you had huffed and leaned back on your hands, trying to find a different angle of approach.

“His Royal Highness commanded it.”

“So you're the Royal Highness's dog,” you responded flatly. Shouldn't a Royal Advisor have a little more self-worth that that?  

Evidently, that had been the wrong thing to say.

Baekhyun stood quick as lightning, eyes flashing.

“Do not presume to call me a dog when you're the one who's starlost,” he said while grounding his foot down on yours.

You had bit off an oath and glared angrily at him as he stomped off.

For days afterwards, you had nursed your foul temper and your foot. How dare he call you starlost! Being a member of Null House was more noble than that schoolyard slur.  

It seemed neither of you were in mood to forgive and forget. As soon as either of you were in vicinity, you were butting heads. Things got so bad, your ranking among the cohort dropped to the point you were in danger of being removed from duty.

“Give it a rest,” Phobos Choi had cried out one day back in the Military Ward barracks. “You bruised the man's pride. Publicly. He's an Asturian, for Arturus's sake. Either suck it up or get the hell out.”

You had slunk back to your room, properly chastised by the quietest member of the group. You supposed he had a point. Asturi were known for their pride, and you certainly hadn't been gentle with it...

“What is this.”

You had to bite your tongue. Do not say, 'well, what does it look like, dumbass'. You're here to apologize, you reminded yourself. He is not Minseok.

“It's a pomegranate.”

Baekhyun held it in the palm of his hand, eyes flicking dubiously back and forth between it and you.

You rolled your eyes, grabbed it, and cut it open. “Here.” You popped a seed into your mouth and made a show of swallowing. “See? Harmless.”

If anything, he looked more confused. “And why have you decided to give me a pomegranate of all things?” he had asked slowly.

“Because I'm apologizing, dum--”

You barely managed to cut yourself off.

“I'm apologizing,” you repeated, more gently. “From what little I know about First House, pomegranates are a revered fruit, right? I thought you might like it.”

“I see...”

You watched, a little perplexed, as his face brightened into something almost like mirth.

He took a pomegranate seed and slid it between his lips, grinning.

“I see.”

And so, that first seed cemented the beginning of your friendship.

You hadn't spoken to Baekhyun in over a week. The pending arrival of the Sevlinian delegation had doubled his workload, and the Prince had mercifully pulled him off supervision duty. You caught fleeting glimpses of him as he swept in and out of the Crown Prince's office during your watch, but nothing more than that.

You would see him tonight, though. The delegation had arrived earlier that morning, in time for the lunar eclipse. A great feast was to be held to honor both occasions.

A room close to the Prince's quarters had been set up for you for the duration of the Sevlinian's stay. It was there you returned to prepare for the feast only to find a lady-in-waiting loitering insider the door.

“I'm here to assist you with your washing and attire.”

You had balked, trying to wave her off, but she was insistent. She had drawn a milk bath for you and was merciless in her scrubbing. When you were finally dressed, you felt about ten pounds lighter and bone tired.

All of the Crown Prince's retinue had been ordered to assemble in his office, from where you would proceed together to make your entrance in the Great Hall. You shifted, tugging on your sleeves self-consciously right before the steward announced it was time to depart and opened the doors.

You settled into your ranks around the Prince with an older guardsman, Phobos Oren, walking to your left, habitually scanning ahead for any threats.

“You look good.”

“Stars, you scared me, Baekhyun.” He had sidled up to your other side without you noticing.

You glanced down at your formal uniform. It was black, with simple, but elegant silver detailing. A light blue half-cloak hung from your left shoulder and concealed the ceremonial sword buckled at your hips.

Glancing back up at Baekhyun, you raised an eyebrow. “I'm wearing the exact same thing as all the other guards,” you whispered.

He grinned and leaned so close to you, you felt his lips brush against the shell of your ear as he whispered, “Yes, but you make it look better.”

He walked by your side the whole way to the entrance hall, looking entirely too pleased with himself for rendering you speechless.

The Great Hall was a marvel. Crystals were suspended from the ceiling in great fountains of light. The glass doors had been opened, and a gentle cross-breeze made the reveler's clothes dance along with them. Jewels glimmered from necks, wrists, and chests in riots of color, and everyone wore their finest. The Sevlinians preferred a longer style of dress than the Domyneads, you noticed, though certainly not more modest. Floor-length trousers and skirts with slits up to the hips showcased long legs and smooth skin.  

For most of the night, you were either at the Prince's side or posted by the walls with him squared center in your sight. But finally, your relief shift came up. You scarfed down a few bites of dinner in the kitchen before booking it back up to the main hall, eager to lose yourself in the energy of the crowd and see if you couldn't inspect some of the Sevlinian's up close in person.

You had just re-entered the room when a hand closed around your wrist.

“Someone's in a hurry.”

How you had nearly walked right past Baekhyun, you would never know. He must have changed after the formal dinner, because this was far from the simple black robes of office that he had been wearing before.

Now, he was dressed in a white outer robe that faded to red at the hems. A spray of foliage burst over his left shoulder and down his chest, green and orange, with a singular indigo ronid bloom in the last stages of unfurling. It hung open scandalously at the chest. No inner robe, just pale chest and the golden gleam of a body chain.

“How do I look?” Baekhyun asked, shifting his body so the robe gaped even further open, exactly like he already knew he was being admired. He had foregone the veil this time in favor of a striking line of red drawn from over the bridge of his nose across each cheek.

“Beautiful,” you replied breathlessly without even thinking. Was that even a question? How was he not being smothered in attention? Had he been waiting for you?

Baekhyun's eyes flashed and he pushed away from the wall, gaze intent on you like a predator after its prey.

“You--”

“Sorry, sir, I'll be stealing this one,” Arhant interrupted as he stepped between you. “I'm not gonna spend my relief shift being a wallflower,” he said as pulled you toward the dance floor.

You fell into his chest with relief. He peered down at you in concern.

“Alright there?”

“Can't feel my legs,” you mumbled. You were trembling.

Arhant, good-natured oblivious giant that he was, laughed deeply and clapped your shoulder.

“Don't lock your knees,” he advised. “You could faint like that.”

“Yeah,” you whispered, “I could.”  

The reprieve was short-lived. Just when you thought you were about to get away with it, Baekhyun appeared right at the moment in the dance you were supposed to change partners.

He took you effortlessly from Arhant in mid-step, guiding you closer with a hand on your lower back. The places where he touched you felt alight with fire. You were light-headed. He was a much better dancer than Arhant.

“Why didn't you invite me for a dance?” he asked. His eyes were playful.

“I couldn't.”

“And why's that.” His voice lowered, going deeper. Softer.

“You're too much for me,” you whispered, closing your eyes against the tears pricking at them. It felt like the words had been sucked from you. Your chest tightened and you let loose a rattling breath. It was overwhelming. He was overwhelming.

His hand tightened around you, and he pulled you closer so that you cheek rested against his chest.

“Thank you for being honest with me, little night. In exchange, shall I tell you a secret? About the Asturi?”

You nodded, feeling his heartbeat echo yours. He was being so gentle.

“In First House, offering a pomegranate means you wish to spend the night together.”

Baekhyun tilted your cheek up and waited until you opened your eyes. Tenderly, he swept away the tears clinging to your eyelashes before leaning in. His lips brushed against your cheek.

“One day, I'd like to share another pomegranate with you.”

There was no sleep for you that night. You spent it frantically scrawling in your journal, desperate to hold onto the feeling of it all just a little longer. To convey the heat and strength of Baekhyun's body against yours, the nervous, sweaty, itchy feeling in your palms, or your breathlessness; the way your heart beat madly and how he glided over the floor, your movements as light as mist off water in his hands and the world closing in so tight that you had forgotten, for the first time, to question anything, to notice anything but him and how you were the only thing reflected in his eyes.

___________________________________________________________ A/N 2: If you’ve made it this far, thank so much you for reading. Thanks are also due to @mel-loves-kdramas​ for putting the event together again this year and managing things so beautifully. 

I’ll be working diligently on finishing up the second part. This world is rather expansive, so I may post a glossary and map for quick references. 

And shout out once again to @nfly5​. I know this fic is not exactly holiday-themed, but I still hope you enjoyed. For all my other readers, I highly encourage you all to go check out their blog; it’s beautiful!

Happy Holidays all and stay safe! 

[mallowwords]

To become strong (Yandere Childe x reader)

Before you read  Please know this has yandere themes and unhealthy relationships, do not interact if that makes you uncomfortable

Word Count: 1.4k

Authors note: My first work!

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A sharp pain hit you. Then another one, and another. You try your best to defend yourself, but it’s been going on for 45 minutes. Everywhere hurts. All because Tartaglia decided this would be a good experience. A good opportunity for you to get stronger. He took advantage of his rank and made you spare with other members of the fatui. Over and over again with no breaks. He said that to get stronger you need to constantly improve yourself.

Only one more person remained other than you. It should be the last wave. An opening! You quickly take advantage of the weak spot to use your cyro vision, sending a blast of cyro in the discretion of your opponent. Just as you did you heard someone clapping slowly approaching you.

“Well, ‘First’, I never expected you to do this well. Truly this is great.” He smiled with excitement.

You stare silently at him. It’s getting hard to stand up. You’re not in the mood to deal with him. Your whole body is in pain. ‘I really need to get to a healer.’.

“Now now, I’m here to help patch up your wounds. You won’t be able to train very well with those will you now?”

“I don’t need your help,” You always hated how he put you in situations which causes you to get injured and then he always acts so, just so, annoying. You didn’t know how else to describe it. It’s like he is patronising you. You walk to the side-lines where a med kit was normally there, stumbling along the way. Each step is causing you more and more pain. You’ll ignore him and patch yourself up enough to go see a healer. You felt those ever-familiar arms wrap around you. Pulling you closer to him.

He bends down and whispers in your ear, “Didn’t I say I would patch you up. As your husband it’s the least I can do.”

“...”

He was met with silence.

His arms then squeezed around you making your body hurt all over. You tried a pathetic attempt at escape. You tried your best. But he was stronger. Always much stronger as he liked to remind you. You let out a wince. “It’s rude for a spouse to ignore a husband, especially when he’s going out of his way to help you. It’s important, you know. Because we have to make up for all that lost time we had before you were skilful enough to aid the Tsarista in her goal. Honestly, I made you who you are. Don’t you think you should just do as I say, as a thank you?” He squeezed even harder when you tried to struggle. You hate this. He even brought that up. How you regret placing your trust in him.

You knew he was different ever since he returned that day. Yet you still hoped he’d be the same caring Ajax from your childhood. Especially because of how you got your vision it made you sick. When he disappeared for three days. You ran away from home to search for him. Such a stupid child you were. You only survived because of the cyro vision and Ajax finding you. When you were the one who was meant to find him.

You eventually stop struggling. The pain is becoming too much.

“...Fine,” You admitted in defeat. 

“That’s a good choice” He stopped his death grip and before you knew it he was carrying you bridal style. You could see his smile. Well, you couldn’t really call it one, not with the way his eyes looked. They were like a bottomless pit of nothingness. Like an abyss. Like there’s no escaping them.

“Didn’t know you found my face that pretty ‘First’. Since you’ve been staring at my face the whole time, I’ve been carrying you.”

“I do not!” You try to get out of his harms, which is quite a challenge.  You groan in pain.

“I thought we stopped all this, honestly I’m just trying to be nice.”

He sat you down and got the first aid kit. He started with cleaning the wounds, making sure he’s pressing it extra hard. You make a squeal in response to the pain.

“If this is sore, I fear what would happen on the battlefield. I can’t have you dying on me before you’ve reached your full potential. Plus, you promised me we’d be together always.”

“When we were ten.”

“You haven't changed much at all from then.” He’s now wrapping the cuts with bandages. “Still weaker than me, but you have lots of potential, which is what makes this so fun,” He momentarily stops to ruffle your hair. “I used to do that all the time, you know. You used to love it as well, always wanting my attention. I guess the only thing that’s changed about you is that… enough about that.” He then pulled you into a hug. “Let’s go get you a healer now, shall we?”

He then picks you up again. Making sure his grip is firm.

“Do you have to do this?” You say avoiding eye contact.

“Why, don’t you enjoy this?” He asked as if he didn’t know the answer. How you hated this part of him. You decide not to push the matter any further. Instead, you just close your eyes and focus on the cold air.

“‘First’, we’re here, open your eyes.”

You quickly jump out of his arms as you open your eyes as soon as you notice his grip has loosened.

“No need to do it so quickly, I do have feelings.” He sighed. “Now onto other business” He turned to face the healer. “Will you go heal ‘First’ for me?”

“Yes sir!” The healer responded and made their way over to you. You slowly felt the pain lessen. Things were becoming more bearable. Deep breaths. Soon the pain was just a dull background pain. 

“I’ve finished sir,” The healer declared.

“Good, we’ll be leaving now.”

Tartaglia offers his hand to you. Expecting you to take it. You get up on your own and as soon as you do you feel his hand around yours. With his famous strong grip as he often does to remind you of your power difference. You were no means weak, but compared to him, you were. Why did he take sudden interest in you again? He left to join the Fatui, came back as a harbinger, forced you apart from your lover and then forced you into this game of some twisted married life. Forcing you into this strict training regimen for the sake of unlocking your so-called potential. You honestly have no interest in fighting or getting stronger. Unlike him who lives for the battlefield. Yes, you could get anything that you wanted, and you were strong enough to defend yourself. But the thing you most wanted was freedom. And to do that you have to defeat him. But that’s impossible at your current level as he loves to remind you.

You felt him tugging at you, telling you to hurry. You often spaced out whenever you weren’t training. You tried to match his pace but mentally you were exhausted. Even though you were physically fine now. You just wanted to curl up under the sheets alone and read a book.

It appears you were home now.

“You worked really hard today, so I will let you take some time to rest. I’ll go cook dinner,”

You were grateful that at least he can do housework well from all the practice from taking care of his younger siblings. His family are very nice to be around. He’s much softer and less battle crazy. When you visit them, it’s the time you’re always happiest. Well as happy as you could be, at playing this game of married life. But you had to appreciate even the littlest bit of happiness. Since it was very rare these days. You go light the fireplace and grab a blanket and curl up near it. It was warm. You imagine your lover, your true one. The one that made you happy. You wonder what they were doing now. You hadn’t heard from them ever since Tartaglia forced them out of Snezhnaya. You hoped they were alive and happy. You slowly drift into a peaceful sleep thinking about them. Even if you’ll never see them again, they still managed to calm you.

[holden-norgorov]

I was wrong: an apology for Show!Kaz.

Listen, at first I didn't even want to write this post down, but as I noticed that a considerable amount of people have been showing disappointment toward Kaz not being "smart enough" in comparison to the book, I feel the need to point some things out with the hope of making you re-evaluate your line of thinking.

The thing is, Kaz Brekker in the show is a character that very much grows to book-readers with a needed careful and attentive rewatch.

I binged the whole season in a consecutive-7h-long binge-watching session during April 23rd, and came out of it feeling mildly disappointed with the way Kaz had been written (but not portrayed; Freddy was truly amazing). The one aspect that really bugged me at first was that his typical modus operandi when it came to plotting and scheming (by which I mean, keeping the big picture of his plans to himself and revealing just tiny pieces to everyone else according to each one's strengths and weaknesses, so as to make sure to reach the maximum potential of success while risking failure as little as possible) seemed to be kinda absent. I could easily make peace with Kaz not being as ruthless as he is in SoC, because the writers couldn't possibly make only-viewers willing to root for someone like Kaz without presenting at least some way in which he was vulnerable compared to other villainous characters. And to be honest, the fact that Kaz was ambushed by Pekka and forced to his knees not only nicely ties up with him wishing for Pekka to kneel in front of him at the beginning of SoC, but it also provides a reason as to why he would become closed-off and hesitant to apologize to Inej in the future. He was so concerned and willing to openly apologize to Inej in this scene that he lowered his guard enough without thinking and ended up giving Pekka access to Inej's name and revealing to him his own soft spot for her, before being beaten up.

That said, this was not my issue with the character. My issue was with the absence of his modus operandi as a masterful planner. I just didn't feel it during the binge-watch. But then I carefully rewatched the show, paying close attention to the actual succession of events more than to how accurate the characterization of the Crows was compared to the books. And I completely changed my mind.

If you pay attention, you can see that Kaz has been manipulating Arken from the very beginning, and everything Arken has accomplished was made possible because Kaz wanted it to happen, so that Arken would believe to be one step ahead of him and not see his betrayal coming. He quickly realizes that he and Arken think alike, and that he has to find a way to outsmart him.

As soon as the Conductor appears in the show, Kaz points out that he reached out to him not only because he can make them cross the Fold, but also because he smuggles Grisha who are unwilling to fight out of the Little Palace. He immediately grasps that the Conductor actively profits from the existence of the Fold and therefore that his own transport has to be constantly operative and effective. Which makes him realize that there has to be a political interest in his smuggling business for it to be allowed to flourish and survive undisturbed, and that someone has to financially back him up and subsidize the mantainance of the train and the feasibility of the crossing.

Soon after the Crows discovered that Nina had been captured and could no longer guide them to the Little Palace, Arken tries to sabotage their mission by convincing them to abandon it. This is where Kaz understands that he is actively interested in their kidnapping of the Sun Summoner to not happen, and begins suspecting he might have a separate agenda.

He purposefully risks the whole mission on Jesper not gambling everything away while looking for alabaster coal by deciding to grab the goat by himself, which is a less time-consuming task. This grants him the opportunity to attend to a quick rally for West Ravka's independence led by General Zlatan, where he sees Arken retiring with him in a private tent. His suspects about Arken are validated, and he understands that Arken has been smuggling Grisha out of East Ravka to the West with the support of Zlatan, who is also making some kind of alliance with Fjerdians and keeping a blind-eye to druskelle hunting and capturing Grisha (as we find out later on).

While they are crossing the Fold, Kaz is visibly skeptical of Arken's story about the transport being conveniently effective because of his knowledge of engineering and physics, and a chunk of luck. Arken seems to know too well how to safely cross the Fold, and the trasport seems to have worked far too many times for it to be the product of the underground, illegal practice of just one man.

In East Ravka, Kaz comes up with the Royal Archive Heist with the hope of stealing the Little Palace blueprints from the Palace of Kribirsk. But there's a very short scene here, which apparently seems unimportant but is actually pivotal: Kaz gives Arken money to make friends with East Ravkans so as to grant them a safe passage to Os Alta. Keep in mind: at this point Kaz is sure that Arken has been given by Zlatan a personal agenda to carry out regarding the Sun Summoner (I genuinely believe he also grasps that the secret plan is to kill her, so as to prevent the Fold from being destroyed and their smuggling business from being no longer profitable), so he knows Arken has total interest in making sure that they actually have a ride to the Little Palace. Which means, by urging him to "make some friends", Kaz already knows Arken will come up with a plan to be able to arrive to Os Alta and carry out his own mission at any costs, if the blueprints of the Little Palace that they are planning to steal end up being useless. And not only that: he wants Arken to believe he is being one-step ahead of them by "saving their asses" with this back-up plan, so as to easily come to the conclusion that the Crows have no reason to distrust him (how could they, when he finds them a second way-in?) and completely disregard the idea that Kaz might stab him in the back before he does the same thing to them. This is some mastermind thinking and completely IC for Kaz, because all the inner workings of his schemes go completely unnoticed on the outside.

Now that Arken proudly looks like the one who managed to grant them passage to Os Alta, he has no reason to believe Kaz might have ulterior motives when he decides to be the one carrying out a preliminary exploration of the Little Palance's hallways, despite his wounded leg making it difficult for him. But here's when Kaz sees Marie and immediately understands that she's supposed to be a decoy for Alina. So he coldly plans the whole kidnapping operation so as to make sure Arken ends up trying to kill (or directly killing) Marie. Which is why he shows no surprise when Arken reveals he can actually open the Fabrikator-made door with a device he carries with himself (probably provided by Zlatan to be able to get access to Alina's private rooms, or maybe already in his possession from when he had smuggled other Grisha out previously), and shows no hesitation when saying outwardly to everyone that Arken will be the one actually carrying out the kindnapping just because "he knows his way around Grisha locks". I actually believe Inej senses that there's something going on that she doesn't fully know when Kaz so light-heartedly allows Arken to lay his hands on their 1 Mln Kruge prize, but her suspicions (likely born out because she knows Kaz too well) are quickly put to rest and given an explaination only after Arken effectively falls into his trap.

After Alina escapes from the Crows in the following episode, we are led to believe that Kaz abandons the idea of kidnapping her again because of Inej, and this turns out to be actually true (despite Inej herself being incredibly suspicious of this, because of how unseemly it would be). Inej also believes Kaz to be so calculating that she points out that he might have planned to let Alina go in the first place and to detonate Arken's transport so as to travel with the same sandskiff Alina is embarking on and kindap her there. Inej would not have such a suspicion if Kaz's reputation didn't live up to that modus operandi.

While we actually learn that Kaz was being genuine with Inej about having abandoned the idea of kidnapping Alina, we also quickly learn that Kaz has spent the last two episodes silently coming up with a whole new other plan to make sure they can go back to Ketterdam without being killed by Dreesen and Pekka Rollins.

Now, as you can see, this is actually a lot. And this whole progression of events is handled so smoothly by the writing that it's fully admirable only by rewatching the show and paying close attention to Kaz's actions, while also knowing how his mind works. All of this is internal workings, which is typical Kaz.

So, I was wrong. His modus operandi is very much present. It's just barely detectable, as it should be for it to be believable. I hope this might reassure some deluded fans who came out of their watching session feeling let down by Kaz not looking "smart enough". It's all there! And the fact that so many of us couldn't see it at first hand, if you think about it, is just further proof that Kaz's intelligence and ability to scheme were handled extremely well. They couldn't make his mental workings too obvious to the casual viewers, or the character would have lost what actually makes him brilliant, which is the ability to outsmart others without being detected, exposed or anticipated.

[nerdzzone]

-More Hearts Than Mine-

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

Especially when a global pandemic is sweeping the world.

With lockdowns and stay at home orders looming on the horizon, the uncertainty of their situation becomes almost too much for Whitney Taylor to handle. Chris suggests that they quarantine together to avoid any potential separations but, given what happened the last time they spent more than a few brief moments in each other’s company, that could cause more problems than it solves…

Chris Evans x OFC

Sequel to: Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Note: Thank you so much to everyone who read this story, especially those who took the time to comment and share their thoughts! I never imagined it would get this much love and I really appreciate it.

This is the last part of this section of their story, but there will be more! I don’t have too much planned yet, but I’m definitely going to write a little prequel about how it all started and then maybe a series of one shots of various events in their lives or a follow up series a bit in the future. Keep an eye out for that and enjoy this last part for now!

Part Four

_____

Part Five

It was still dark when I woke up.

It took a moment for me to remember where I was and why I was intertwined with a very warm, sculpted body, but as the memories came back to me, I was relieved that it was still early. We hadn't had the forethought to set any alarms despite agreeing that I should leave before Grayson came down so it was lucky that I'd woken up naturally.

I knew I needed to leave while I had the chance, before I drifted back off to sleep, but the peaceful look on Chris' face was hard to disturb. It had been an emotional night for both of us at the end of a busy day so I tried to slip away without waking him up, but even in his sleep, he wasn't ready to let me go. His grip tightened the moment I started to wiggle and I couldn't help but smile at his need to keep me close.

Stretching up, I placed soft kisses along his jaw as I quietly called out his name between each one. It took a few moments, but eventually he stirred and his grip tightened on me again as he tilted his head to look down at me.

"What time is it?"

His voice was raspy with sleep and it sent tingles down my spine.

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "But I should probably go upstairs."

Chris leaned up on his arm just enough to look over me to glance at the clock on his nightstand.

"It's only five," he informed me. "Stay."

"He gets up early some days."

My words were true, but he wasn't going to be swayed.

"Never before six, we've got time."

Before I could put forth any more arguments, he leaned down and silenced me with a kiss.

It felt strange - waking up in his bed, sharing such casual affection - but it felt so right.  

I let my hands slide over his toned chest, soaking in the hard shape of his muscles, enjoying the shiver that ran through him as I ghosted my fingers down over his prominent abs before trailing back up his waist. A smile slid onto my face as I pulled back slightly.

"How'd you get so many abs?" I mumbled. "It's not fair."

I felt Chris' lips twitch into a smirk against my own as he slid his hands under my shorts as he had the night before.

"No more unfair than you walking around in these sexy pajamas for the last few weeks..."

I snorted a laugh and pulled away to look down at what I was wearing before looking back at him.

"I don't wear sexy pajamas," I protested. "These are old and frumpy."

"What are you talkin' about?" He laughed. "Who in their right mind thinks booty shorts are frumpy?"

"These are not booty shorts, they're normal shorts."

"Well, they're short enough that they've been driving me crazy,"  he informed me, leaning down to hover his lips over mine again. "But then again, you could wear anything and make it look fuckin' hot."

I felt my cheeks heat up at his compliment, but before I could deny it, his lips were back on mine.

It was a slow and lazy kiss and I was struck by how different this felt to the intimate moments we'd shared before. There was no threat of one of us coming to our senses and running away, we could relax and enjoy every moment. The knowledge that this was something deeper, something stronger than a fleeting moment of weakness made it feel all the more profound; it made the fire that was building inside me burn brighter with every brush of his tongue against mine and every tug of my hips against his.

His hands kneaded and squeezed my bum as I let one of mine rest on his chest while the other tightened on his bicep. His tense, sculpted bicep. So much for out of shape, I thought to myself remembering our earlier conversation, but I didn't have time to voice any arguments against the claim that he'd made before he drew my mind back into the moment.

Pulling back slightly, he nipped at my lower lip and began trailing kisses down my jaw. I hummed happily at the sensation until he focused on a spot just below my ear, a spot that pulled a gasp from my lips. Encouraged by the sound, he sucked there, gently at first but steadily increased the pressure until his teeth grazed against my skin and I couldn't hold back a soft moan.

He chuckled as he pulled his mouth back, just enough for his breath to hit my neck and send shivers down my spine.

"I can't wait to find all the places that do that to you..."

I felt my cheeks heat up, partially from the shame of how easily he'd found such a sensitive spot and partially from the anticipation of him finding more.

"Shut up," I mumbled, moving my hand from his arm to his jaw to lift his mouth back to mine.

He smirked into the kiss, letting our lips stay together as his hands slid up from under my shorts to under my shirt instead. He wasted no time lifting it over my head, tossing it aside and settling his hands on my chest. Another gasp slipped out of me as his fingers found my nipples and pinched them softly. The sensation alone sent a wave of arousal through me, but as he leaned back to flick his eyes down and take in the sight, I felt the heat between my legs grow even more. His pupils darkened as he bit his bottom lip and I let my hips rock against his.

"Chris," I practically panted. "Please..."

He pulled his eyes back up to meet mine as if my voice had snapped him out of a trance and he smiled, kissing me again.

"Patience, Winnie. Patience."

Winnie. It was a nickname he'd started using years ago, the first night we met. It wasn't until he mumbled it now that I realized how long it had been since he'd used it. Probably not since I'd told him that we were better off as friends, I'd just been Whitney since then. The sound of it made my heart clench as I captured his mouth with mine and arched into him. I needed to feel him - I needed that closeness.

He let me press against him, moving his hands so my chest could rest against his and letting them trail down to quickly rid himself of his pants and me of my shorts before settling them back on my thighs. He kissed me deeply, his tongue teasing mine as his hands slowly moved higher, taking advantage of the position of my leg over his hip as one hand slid between us.

I gripped him, gasping against his mouth as he pressed his thumb against my clit while one finger, quickly followed by another, sunk inside me.

My head fell back then, giving Chris the opportunity to press his lips against the exposed skin.

"Never get tired of seeing you like this..."

The words were mumbled into my neck, but I couldn't even fathom a response as my eyes squeezed shut, too distracted by the feeling of the movement between my legs. I knew the thickness of his fingers was only a hint of what was to come, the slow yet purposeful rubbing was just a tease and that thought was almost overwhelming.

I wanted to touch him, I wanted to hear him whimper and feel him squirm like I was, but when I reached out to touch his hard cock that lay between us, he used his free hand to pull mine away, pinning it to his chest. At the same time, he pressed harder on my clit and I couldn't find the strength to argue as my arousal became almost overwhelming.

"Chris, please," I repeated my earlier plea, but he played dumb as he raised an eyebrow.

"Please?"

I wanted - no, needed - him inside me, to feel the stretch and ache of his cock as his hips thrust against mine, but as hard as I tried to focus and get more words out, more specific directions, my mind went blank. He looked smug at my helplessness, but a curl of his fingers had my eyes fluttering shut as a moan tore from my throat and my hips moved against his hand as if they were no longer under my control. I heard a faint 'shh' before Chris' lips covered mine again in an attempt to swallow the noises I couldn't hold back.

He was relentless as he stroked the sensitive spot he’d found with every move of his fingers. It was intense. Too intense but not intense enough at the same time until suddenly it was perfect. My nails dug into Chris' arm, my thigh gripping his hip as if to keep him exactly where he was and the pleasure ripped through my body.

My chest heaved as I came down from the high, my hand going to Chris' wrist to guide his away from me, needing a relief from the stimulation once the trembles of my orgasm had stopped. He rested his hand on my hip instead, stroking the skin softly as he laid soft, gentle kisses on my lips until I relaxed.

Eventually I melted against him, my body loose from my release which was a stark contrast to the tension that ran through him. He was impossibly hard, already leaking, and practically his whole body twitched as I let my hand drift over him from base to tip.

"Whitney," he choked out. "Fuck."

His voice was strangled, his eyes wide, pupils blown and the vision of him so wound up sent another wave of heat through me. I teased him for a moment, a lazy smirk on my face as he shivered under my touch, but he didn't let me have my fun for long.

He shifted slightly, pushing forward enough to knock me onto my back. My hand slipped away from him and he caught it in his, lacing our fingers together as he pinned it to the bed. Shifting his hips, he settled into position before reaching down with his free hand to guide himself inside me making us both moan at the sensation. He surprised me by how continually restrained he was as he slowly pressed forward until he was buried completely. The stretch was fierce and I felt every inch of him, soaking in the feeling as my body adjusted. Once I was comfortable, I rocked my hips and gasped at the friction.

Chris pressed his lips against my shoulder, his hand gripping mine a little tighter as he pulled out almost as slowly as he'd pushed in. The second thrust was slightly more forceful, but it was clear he was holding back, using the soft movements to build the tension between us.

And it was working.

Every slow drag had me feeling every inch, every brush against every nerve and I felt myself quivering around him within moments.

He nudged his nose against my chin as he trailed his lips up until they pressed against mine again.

"Look at me."

His demand came out in a grunt, but I forced my eyes open to meet his. His gaze was intense and it was hard not to look away, but there was more behind his stare. A softness, a twinkle, a look of love. My breath caught in my throat as I let my free hand move to his cheek.

I held his stare as he continued his gentle thrusts, the speed increasing as his will power waned and I matched him, letting myself rub against him with each movement. It didn't take long for the pressure to start building, for the slow and consistent friction against the most sensitive parts of my body to make me tighten and clench as my release began to build again. But as it built, so did the emotions bubbling in my chest.

This closeness. The intimacy. The difference between this moment and any we'd shared before. How he was taking his time, like every touch was purposeful and like every movement had more meaning behind it than words could express. It was unlike anything I'd felt before and it made my heart ache.

He was watching me as my eyes grew misty, grunting with almost every thrust and soon, the intensity was too much.

I pressed towards him, pushing to meet his movements as my eyes fell shut, my jaw dropping as I panted against him. I felt his grip tighten on my hand again as he picked up speed until our hips were crashing together.

I let my arms lace around his neck, pulling him closer to me so I could bury my face against the skin of his shoulder as it took mere moments - practically seconds - for me to fall over the edge, muffling my repressed cries with his muscles.

"Fuck," Chris groaned, his head hanging low as his own release was edged closer by mine.

He thrust once, twice, three more times before pulling out completely leaving me twitching around nothing as he spilled on my stomach. He held himself steady, eyes squeezed shut, chest heaving, until he caught his breath and let his arms relax, rolling over to lay next to me.

That was when the wave of emotion I'd been feeling crashed down on me. As I laid there, covered in his cum, I suddenly felt as exposed and vulnerable as I had during our conversation the night before. I bit my bottom lip to stop it trembling, but I couldn't hold back the tears as they began trailing down my cheeks and onto the pillow below my head.

I could hear Chris breathing next to me as he came down from his release, but I stayed perfectly still, hoping not to draw any attention to myself. It wasn't until I drew in a shaky breath that he noticed I was crying.

"Hey, whoa, what's going on?" He asked, rolling onto his side so he was facing me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I choked out. "I'm just...overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed in a good way?" He asked, his worry written all over his face. "Or bad?"

"Good," I assured him, smiling softly and reaching up to stroke his cheek. "It's all good, I promise."

"Okay," Chris nodded, but there was still concern in his eyes. "I'll be right back."

He scurried off to the bathroom, reappearing moments later with a damp cloth. He quickly, but gently wiped up the mess on my stomach before throwing the cloth in the laundry basket in the corner and climbing back into bed. As soon as he was settled, he pulled me into his arms and let me rest my head on his chest.

We stayed like that, holding onto each other as Chris whispered quiet reassurances to me for a few minutes until my tears came under control.

"Sorry," I sniffled. "That's so embarrassing."

"It's not," he insisted, stroking my arm softly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Absolutely," I assured him, placing a soft kiss on his chest. "Better than okay. It's just been an emotional night, I guess it all kinda hit me."

"I thought," he paused. "I thought maybe you regretted it..."

His confession made me sit up so fast that it made my head spin slightly as I turned to look at him.

"No, Chris, it's not that at all! I don't regret it, not even a little bit, it's pretty much the opposite," I explained. "I'm happy and that felt different, it caught me off guard."

"Just a big emotional release then?" He questioned with a smile, waiting for me to nod in confirmation before stretching forward to place a kiss on my lips. "I love you."

I felt my heart swell from how casually he said those words and I couldn't hold back a grin as I rested my forehead against his.

"I love you too."

We soaked in our moment of bliss for a few minutes before we realized that it really was time for me to go. I was slow and reluctant as I peeled myself out of bed, still desperate to keep this peace that we'd found undisturbed as long as possible, but it was nearing six o'clock and the threat of Grayson waking up was increasing by the minute.

So, after pulling Chris back in for one last kiss, I snuck off back to my own room.

-

Surprisingly, I fell asleep again almost as soon as I crawled into my own bed. The excitement and stress of the last twenty-four hours had me more tired than I realized and I didn't wake up again until just after eight o'clock.

As I laid in bed, trying to wrap my mind around everything that happened, I found myself feeling strangely nervous about going downstairs. I could have stayed in bed with Chris forever - away from the world and prying eyes, just the two of us soaking each other in as we made up for lost time - but things were always harder when you integrate them into real life. I tried to reassure myself, convince myself that we were the same as before, just with more kissing and wonderful orgasms, but that seemed like a bit of a stretch.

We'd spent so many years keeping each other at arms length to dull the pain of not being together and avoid any signs of our feelings slipping out. I had no idea how to act around him now that we were together.

I knew that hiding in my room all day wasn't going to solve anything though so after a quick shower, I headed downstairs.

It became clear that I'd missed breakfast as the noise of laughter floated in from the living room and while I smiled at the sound, I headed to the kitchen in search of coffee first.

I thought I'd snuck down quietly, but I'd barely put the cream in my drink when I felt hands on my waist and lips against my neck. I tensed, feeling my nerves bubble back up to the surface, but I turned in his arms to face him.

"Good morning," Chris smiled before leaning and pressing a soft peck on my lips. I forced a smile in return, but my brain was racing and Chris picked up on that right away. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "It just feels weird. Being able to touch you or kiss you or whatever. I resisted for so long, it seems odd to do it now."

"Sounds like someone is overthinking things," Chris teased as he raised an eyebrow. "Because you literally threw yourself at me in front of my entire family yesterday with no hesitation."

My jaw dropped as Chris smirked down at me.

"I did not throw myself at you," I protested. "At least, not how you're implying! I tackled you in a sporting situation!"

"Ah," Chris' smirk widened. "So, you admit it was a tackle then?"

"You made sure the point didn't count," I reminded him as I rolled my eyes. "I don't understand what you're trying to prove."

Chris chuckled and pulled me closer causing me to instinctively put my arms around his neck to help me balance against him.

"I'm trying to prove that you used to touch me plenty without a second thought," he informed me. "And I remember because I savoured every little touch."

I couldn't hold back a teasing and somewhat patronizing 'awwwe' at that admission and Chris mumbled a gentle 'shut up' before forcing me to do so by pressing his lips against mine.

I was cautiously mindful that we'd agreed not to tell Grayson about this for a while - and that making out in the kitchen gave him a pretty good opportunity to catch us unaware - but it was just too hard to resist the sensation of Chris' tongue sliding against mine and luckily, it wasn't Gray who stumbled upon us.

"Wow," Scott let out a low whistle. "What do we have here?"

I felt my cheeks heat up, like we were teenagers caught by a parent, as I pulled away from Chris. He turned back to face his brother, a smirk on his face.

"Surprise!"

"Is it official?" Scott asked, the grin on his face warming my heart. He seemed genuinely giddy for us. "When did this happen?"

"Last night," Chris answered, looking down at me with a goofy smile. "And yeah, I'd say it's pretty official?"

I nodded, letting my hand slip into his and squeezing it gently as Scott let out a 'whoop' of excitement.

"I'm happy for you guys! It's about fucking time!"

We laughed at his enthusiasm as the patter of little feet on the floor alerted us to an incoming presence. I let Chris' hand fall away from mine and picked my coffee up instead, trying to look casual in a way that was probably unnecessary when dealing with an oblivious three year old.

"Uncle Scott said a bad word!"

Scott rolled his eyes as he ruffled his nephew's hair.

"I swear, that word is like a bat signal for him," he joked. "Every time I say it, he appears out of no where!"

"Then maybe you shouldn't use bad words at all," I pointed out, smiling as Grayson wiggled away from his Uncle's hand. "Then Grayson wouldn't have to keep you in line."

"You're right," Scott sighed with another roll of his eyes. "Sorry, Grayson. I'll try to remember not to say it."

Grayson nodded, pleased that his language policing was successful before turning his attention back to me.

"Mama, I need help."

"With what?"

He dashed across the room and grabbed my empty hand as he tugged me towards the door he'd just come through.

"My new dinosaur puzzle," he explained. "It's too hard."

"The one from Grandma Jane?" I asked, referring to the birthday gift that my mom had sent him. He nodded in confirmation as we walked into the living room. "Oh, that one did seem tricky. It's pretty big."

He nodded again as he sat down in front of where he'd scattered out all the pieces. He'd managed to get a few of them together correctly, but most of what he'd assembled had been wrongly forced in to place. I rested my mug on the coffee table and sat down next to him. He eagerly climbed into my lap, with a puzzle piece in each hand and bit his lip in concentration as he attached one of the pieces correctly to the ones he'd already connected.

"Good job! See, I don't think you need my help. You're great at puzzles."

"I do," he insisted. "It's too big."

"Okay," I agreed. "I'll stay here just in case you run into trouble."

Grayson flashed me a smile and got back to work as Chris settled in the chair facing us. I noticed he was on his phone, but I didn't realize he was taking a picture until he turned it around to show me. It was a lovely photo, from the focused look on Grayson's face to the soft, affectionate smile on mine as I looked down at him. Since there weren't usually many other adults around when Grayson was with me, I had always regretted that we didn't have many pictures of us together. He would humour me for the odd selfie, but candid photos of us were few and far between.

"That's nice," I smiled. "Can you send it to me?"

Chris nodded his head before his lips twitched into a smirk.

"I just signed up for Instagram actually," he informed me. "Maybe I'll post it on there."

I snorted a laugh at that suggestion as I shook my head.

"Your fans are already sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches after that recent interview, are you trying to get me killed?"

"Maybe it'll help," Chris shrugged, but the smirk that was still firmly planted on his face told me he wasn't serious. "It'll be less fun to gossip about us if I just post pictures of you all the time."

I turned my attention back to Grayson for a moment to help him find the right spot for a piece before looking back over at Chris.

"I don't think that would work," I warned him. "When did you get Instagram anyway?"

"A few days ago, but I haven't posted anything yet," he admitted. "I don't really know how to use it."

"You're such an old man," I teased him with a laugh. "Why did you even get it if you don't know how to use it?"

He shrugged again as he answered while Gray let out a little cheer as he put several more pieces in place.

"It's good for promoting stuff. Which will be important when we launch A Starting Point."

"That's true," I nodded. "And you can post all those 'thirst traps' that your fans love."

Chris raised an eyebrow and his age showed again when he questioned me.

"Thirst traps? What's a thirst trap?"

"It's when you post..." I paused to cover Grayson's ears briefly. "Sexy selfies to deliberately rile people up."

"Oh my god," Chris tossed his head back as he barked out a laugh. "I don't do that. The only selfies I post are of me and Dodger."

"I've seen the pictures," I reminded him. "You always make sure those bulging biceps are on display."

"That meets your definition of a thirst trap?" He raised an eyebrow. "You're easy to impress."

Now it was my turn to smirk.

"Or maybe I've just been really thirsty for you these last few years."

"Gross!" Scott protested as he walked in, a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. "If you're thirsty, I can get you a glass of water. Any other type of thirst should not be discussed while you're around me or your son."

I apologized, despite the giggle that slipped out, knowing that was a perfectly fair request. Chris, however, couldn't resist taunting his brother.

"Oh, I think she'll be fine," he informed him. "I quenched her thirst pretty well this morning."

I gasped and covered Grayson's ears even though he'd already heard the inappropriate thing his father had just said. Luckily, he was too young to understand what it meant, but Scott pretended to gag as he clearly got the joke.

"Okay, from now on, there will be none of that talk around me," Scott demanded. "No euphemisms, no jokes, no inappropriate touching or you two can go stay somewhere else and Gray and I will stay here together.”

I squeezed Grayson tight as I shook my head, displeased with that idea.

"We'll behave," I assured him. "Sorry, Scott."

Scott accepted my apology on the condition that we follow his instructions and Chris shot me a wink from where he sat.

I bit my lip to hide a smile so as to not antagonize Scott anymore and I took a moment to appreciate the situation. There was a lot of terrible, dark stuff happening in the world right now and I was incredibly grateful that we had a little pocket of brightness to bask in.

-

Chris and I soon found ourselves settled into things and getting swept up that new relationship bliss. That period of time that was filled with sultry glances, discreet touches taken during any possible moment, flirtatious giggles over silly little things - we were revelling in it all.

We did our best to be subtle - to keep Grayson unaware and to respect Scott's very reasonable ground rules - but from the near constant eye rolls from Scott, we weren't as discreet as we thought we were. He got particularly annoyed during our Mario Kart competitions as Chris' goal had shifted from winning every race, to taking out Scott so that I stood a chance. It was not a natural skill for me - I came last every time under normal circumstances - so I was grateful for any assistance I could get and made sure to thoroughly reward Chris for his help.

For the most part though, we'd reached a kind of peace that was nothing short of revitalizing. It was absolutely amazing to me how refreshed I felt now that we'd taken the plunge. I hadn't realized just how crippling our situation had been for me or the amount of energy I'd wasted fighting and suppressing my feelings for Chris. Now that we were together, it was like a fog had lifted on my brain. I had more energy and woke up with an excitement every day that I hadn't felt in a long time. I loved Grayson and he brought me a tremendous amount of joy, but there had always been a hole in our lives. I known that all along but now that the hole was closing, I was starting to realize just how big it had been and how detrimental it was even if I’d had the best intentions.

However, it only took about a week for the complications to start and all because Grayson was in a mood.

He woke up that way, as kids sometimes do, but it seemed like nothing we tried to do could help him shake off the grumpiness that he was feeling.

He fought Chris all through breakfast, he scowled all through his favourite morning cartoons and we narrowly avoided a meltdown when Scott headed out on his roller blades with Dodger and left Grayson at home. (He was an excellent uncle, but he gave Grayson more than his fair share of attention and we respected his need for some time to himself). After a good fifteen minutes of sulking and stomping around, I managed to distract him with his favourite train track, but even that relief was short-lived.

He played happily with me for almost half an hour, but he was still carrying a lot of tension in his body. It all came bursting out as soon as two of the pieces of track wouldn't slide back together as easily as he would have liked. Before I could offer any assistance, he let out a growl and tossed the pieces at the wall and kicking apart the ones we'd connected on the floor.

"Okay, Gray," I sighed. "That's enough. We don't throw our things around like that. You need to pick them up and put all this track away."

Grayson crossed his arms and shook his head.

"No."

I braced myself for a long stand-off as I nodded.

"It's not a choice," I insisted. "Come on, I'll help you."

"No," he told me firmly. "You do it!"

"I'll help you," I repeated. "But it's your mess, so you need to clean it up."

Grayson was unswayed as he continued to shake his head, but before I could try anything else to persuade him, Chris poked his head into the room we were in.

"I'm making lunch," he informed us. "Do you want a grilled cheese sandwich, buddy?"

A smile burst onto Grayson's face.

"Yes, please!"

He scampered over to the doorway where Chris was standing, but I was quick to voice my protests.

"Not so fast," I warned him. "You need to clean up all this track before you can do anything."

Grayson's face fell as he realized that he wasn't going to get away with his escape.

"No!" He snapped. "You need to go home!"

I was taken aback by that suggestion and how fiercely he demanded it, but Chris didn't hesitate as he jumped to my defence.

"Grayson, don't speak to your Ma like that," he scolded him. "Let's pick it up together and then we can go have some lunch."

"No, I don't want to!"

His voice was rising as he stomped his foot for dramatic effect and I sighed.

"I did offer to help already, but he wasn't having any of it."

"Well, we've got to get this mess cleaned up," Chris shrugged, throwing a few pieces in the tub as an example. "We can't leave it all over the floor or it'll get broken."

"I don't care!" Grayson insisted. "You're stupid!"

There were tears of frustration building up in his eyes as Chris winced at his uncharacteristic insult. I frowned, feeling my patience slip away despite my concern for why on earth Grayson was so wound up.

"Gray, that's not a nice thing to say," I sighed. "What's going on with you today? Why are you feeling so frustrated?"

I kept my voice soft and tried to hide my own feelings of frustration, but it did nothing to calm Grayson.

"I'm not!"

It was clearly a lie, but I threw a few more pieces in the tub, hoping to inspire him to help a little bit.

"See, look," Chris gestured to me. "Your mom will pick up the pieces on this side and you and I can do the ones on the other. Deal?"

"No! No deal!"

"Wow," Chris mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear. "What is going on with him today?"

"I have no idea," I murmured back to him before turning my attention back to Gray. I moved over so I was kneeling in front of him and tried to look him in the eye despite his best efforts to look away. "C'mon, buddy. We can't do anything else until this mess gets cleaned up, so why don't we just get it over with and do it fast?"

"Go away, Mama," he demanded. "Go home! We don't want you here now!"

I knew his words were said out of anger and that he didn't mean it, but I couldn't deny that they hurt, especially with how passionately he spat them at me. I was momentarily stunned, but Chris leapt to my aid again as he appeared at my side, kneeling in front of Grayson as well. His jaw was tight, a clear sigh that his patience was thinning as quickly as mine.

"Grayson, that's not true," he insisted. "We love having your Ma here."

"No, I hate it!"

"Oh, do you?" Chris matched his scowl as Grayson nodded. "Well, you better get used to it because things are different now. We've decided that it would be nice for us to be a family."

"Huh?"

Grayson's eyebrows wrinkled together in confusion and my heart sank. I wasn't sure what Chris was thinking, but this wasn't how I wanted Grayson to find out.

"Your Ma and I love each other very much," Chris elaborated. "And we want us all to be together all the time, so you guys won't be going home anymore. You won't have to go back and forth."

Grayson's brow furrowed even more as his bottom lip wobbled for the few seconds it took for him to burst into tears. Chris looked shocked and I cringed as Grayson ran out of the room, the sound of his cries echoing up the stairs until his bedroom door slammed.

"Chris..." I started once the house was silent.

"I know, I know."

Chris shook his head as he stood up and helped me to my feet, but I wasn't about to let this go.

"What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," he admitted. "I was frustrated. He's been hard work today."

"I know he has." I was agreeing, but my tone wasn't one of solidarity. "But it's best not to inform children of massive life changes out of frustration or while they're in the middle of a tantrum!"

Chris huffed and crossed his arms, looking not unlike Grayson had only minutes before.

"He shouldn't talk to you like that."

"He's three, Chris!" I reminded him. "You can't drop bombs like that when he doesn't even understand what you're talking about! And, for the record, I don't remember ever agreeing to move in here permanently."

Chris swallowed hard as a frown slid onto his face. He looked worn out and if I wasn't so annoyed, I would have felt sympathetic. This had been a trying day during a very trying time and we were all just doing the best that we could. But that applied to Grayson as well and as difficult as he was being, he didn't deserve to have that news thrown in his face in a way he couldn't even comprehend.

"I just assumed..."

"I know you did, but that's something we need to discuss before you bring it up with Gray."

"It makes the most sense."

"Maybe so," I shrugged. "But we're moving a little bit fast here, don't you think? Two weeks ago we were barely speaking and now you want me to fully move in with you?"

"You've already moved in."

"It's different though," I insisted. "This is temporary, most of our stuff is still at home."

Chris looked down at me, the sadness and disappointment on his face making him look even more like a little boy, but his sad face wasn't the one I was most concerned about right now as my thoughts moved back to Grayson.

"Look, clearly we have more to discuss and work out, but I need to go check on Gray right now."

Chris still looked downtrodden, but he nodded.

"Alright, I'll come with you."

He moved towards the doorway, but I stopped him.

"Do you mind if I talk to him first?"

His face fell again, but he moved out of the way and wordlessly gestured for me to pass by him. I stretched up to place a kiss on his cheek and mumbled a 'thank you' in his ear before heading up to Grayson's room.

-

I knocked when I got to Grayson's door, but was unsurprised by his rude response.

"Go away!"

His tone was angry, but it sounded like his tears had subsided and I was grateful for that. I ignored his request and slowly opened the door, the sight inside almost bringing tears to my own eyes.

He had a little bag on his bed and was packing his things into it. The important stuff, of course, like all his favourite toys, but it broke my heart that we'd upset him so badly.

"What are you doing?" I asked quietly. "Are you going somewhere?"

"I'm going home," he told me, not looking away from his current task until he decided a clarification was needed. "To our home."

I sat on the bed next to where he was packing, trying to take the surety with which he spoke seriously.

"How are you going to get there?"

He was unfazed by that logical question as he answered.

"I'm going to walk."

"Walk?" I raised my eyebrows. "Wow. That's impressive. I don't think that I could even walk that far."

He faltered then, suddenly looking a tad less confident in his decision.

"Can you take me?"

"We can't go back there right now," I informed him with a sad smile. "We're not allowed to go anywhere right now, are we?" I paused while he shook his head. "So, if we went home, we'd have to stay inside that tiny little apartment all day every day. That wouldn't be much fun, would it?"

His face fell as he tried to wrap his mind around that and his bottom lip started to quiver again.

"But...I miss it."

Almost as soon as he finished speaking, he burst into tears. I hated seeing him so upset and was relieved when he let me pull him into my lap.

"I'm sorry, baby," I cooed into his hair, rocking him gently as I rubbed his back. "Things have been kinda strange for you lately, haven't they?"

He wailed out a 'yeah' as he nodded his head and I held him tightly, waiting until his tears subsided to try and offer anymore comfort. Once the sobs turned to sniffles, I spoke again.

"Daddy shouldn't have told you that we'd be staying here forever because I don't know if we are," I assured him. "Daddy was just frustrated because you were hurting my feelings when you said that you wanted me to leave."

"I don't want you to go home..."

His words were quiet, weaker now that he'd shifted from angry to sad and I wasn't sure which made my heart ache more.

"I'm not going home," I promised. "But things have changed between Daddy and I, like he said. We love each other and we want us to be a family. You know, like how Stella, Miles and Ethan all live together with both their parents."

I wasn't explaining it well, but I hadn't had the time that I'd hoped for to plan a simple and informative way to tell him and I was winging it. It wasn't working apparently as I felt Grayson shake his head.

"No, thank you."

I leaned back a bit, using my sleeve to wipe his eyes as I looked down at him.

"Why don't you like that idea?" I asked, a bit surprised by his negative opinion on the matter.

"I miss just Daddy time!" He told me, his eyes still glassy with tears even though they'd stopped rolling down his cheeks. "And just you time!"

It made sense. He spent almost his entire life having nothing, but one on one time with us and now suddenly he had none. We thought he would enjoy the opportunity to be with us both together, but it wasn't unreasonable that he would also miss that quality time with us apart as well.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry. We didn't realize you were missing that, but we can still do it," I suggested. "You can have some time where you just play with Daddy and some time when you just play with me if that would make you happy?"

I kissed the top of his head and reminded myself that we were doing our best and hadn't purposely caused any unnecessary stress to our child as I squeezed him close and he nodded his head.

"Yes, please,” Grayson sniffled out as there was a knock on the door and Chris poked his head in.

"Everything okay?" He asked. "I heard crying..."

"We're okay," I assured him as I patted the bed next to me. "You can come in."

Chris didn't miss a beat as he crossed the room and sat down next to me, the worry on his face making me feel bad for not letting him come up right away.

"Grayson was just telling me that he misses having time with us by himself," I explained. "He doesn't want it to be family time all the time."

"We can do that," Chris nodded. "You're the star of the show here, buddy. We want you to be happy, that's the most important thing."

Grayson looked at him suspiciously, but Chris continued before he could argue.

"I shouldn't have said that you have to move in here once all the germs go away," he assured him, flashing his eyes up to meet mine as if he was talking to me as much as he was Grayson. "You two can decide that when the time comes. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm not scared," Grayson frowned at him. "I don't care."

I chuckled at his insistence and gave him another squeeze.

"Well, you cared a minute ago," I reminded him. "But if we make some extra effort to have some one on one time, do you think you'd like to give it a try being a family? Because I do think that I would like to try it."

Grayson twisted his face into a slightly over the top, pensive look before he eventually nodded.

"Phew," Chris matched his dramatics as he wiped his brow. "Because I think your Ma is really pretty and it's really hard for me not to do this all the time..."

As soon as he finished speaking he leaned over and pressed a sloppy kiss on my lips. I laughed against his mouth as Grayson's giggles surrounded us, followed by his shrieks of protest as he tried to pull our faces apart.

"Daddy!" He scolded Chris. "That's gross!"

Chris chuckled as he shook his head.

"You won't think kissing is gross one day."

"Yes, I will," Grayson shot him a cheeky smile. "I always will!"

Chris growled playfully as he pulled Grayson off my lap, dragging him back down onto the bed with him. His fingers were moving frantically as they tickled his sides and Grayson's giggles reached almost deafening levels.

Their laughter was contagious though and I couldn't hold back a giggle of my own as I watched them.

I was relieved that Grayson seemed to have come round to the idea of things changing. I assumed he didn't fully understand what we were talking about or what it truly meant, but the fact that the idea of change had stopped bringing forth floods of tears was rather reassuring.

I had hoped that keeping him in the dark for a while would give Chris and I some extra time - time that would give us the chance to back out without any unnecessary heartache - but seeing them together now, I realized that would be next to impossible.

Even if Grayson was unbothered by any dissolution between Chris and I, there was no going back for me. They were two of the most important people in my life and just the sight of them laughing and playing together was enough to have my heart close to bursting. I was invested and in over my head, but I was more determined than ever to make it work.

We deserved a chance at being a family and it was undeniable that there was more than enough love between the three of us to make it work with just a little bit of effort.

-

Tags:  @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10 @partypoison00

[helliontherapscallion]

Bonding (Adrenaline Junkie Chapter 12)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: nightmares, swearing, mentions of death/injury

Word count: 3,383

(A/N): it feels good to get back to this story

A week and a half went by in a flash. In that time, you and Arthur grew closer. You absolutely loved how he was so interested in innovation and engineering, you felt like he was the perfect choice for your apprentice. To pass the time, you would teach Arthur the basics of redstone working. You taught him everything from how to properly store it to the beginnings of using repeaters. Occasionally, Philza would join you two in lessons.

“Then, you just connect the repeaters together with redstone and set each for the desired times. Et voila! You have properly working timed pistons.”

Looking up from your demonstration, you stifle a chuckle at the two sitting in front of you. Arthur, the ever vigilant student, was frantically scribbling down notes into the journal you gave him, his face scrunched in concentration and his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. Your father, however, looked downright confused. The poor man was staring down helplessly at the two repeaters in front of him, the whole set up he had looked slightly flimsy in structure. Redstone dust messily formed a line between the iron contraptions with the occasional tiny break in the dust. Judging by the positioning of the repeaters themselves, they were in the right place but they were haphazardly placed. Sure the positioning of the two repeaters relative to each other would work, but it was just something that you wouldn’t do. You always hated clutter in your contraptions. The only true flaw in his build was the messy line of redstone. 

You walked over to the table your dad was working at and started to explain why the machine wasn’t working. “So your only mistake here is the cleanliness of your redstone. With it being this messy, there are plenty of potential breakages of the wiring,” you gently swept the redstone into a neat line with your hands and watched as the entire contraption glowed red. Pistons started moving in succession of each other in timed bursts. “One more thing, just a little nitpicky thing, the repeaters are set right, they’re just… messy?” You watched as Philza watched the movement of the pistons with a blank look before he looked up at you with a slightly annoyed look. 

“Other than that, the settings of the repeaters were set right!” You sheepishly grinned at him before realizing that he wasn’t going to be reassured by your weak reassurance. You looked over to Arthur, “Arthur buddy you wanna try?”

You watched as his eyes lit up in excitement as he looked up from you from over the brim of his journal. Without a word, he quickly got to work. You and Philza watched him as he continuously looked between his journal and his work.

“I didn’t know working with redstone was so hard. I just thought it was easy with how fast you invent things,” Philza said dejectedly. 

You reached over to pat him on the back, “it took me a while to figure it out. I remember four years ago when I started I was completely lost.”

You felt the vibration of his chuckle, “I remember when you almost crushed your wing in a piston. You were so lucky it only caught the ends of a few primary feathers.”

You chuckled bittersweetly, “not that it matters. I lost that wing a few months after that.”

You could practically hear his mind start churning, “but you made a new one, you can still fly.”

“It’s not the same Dad. I hate having to spend thirty minutes putting the sensors on my back. I can’t feel the air moving through my feathers anymore. It feels like a part of me is constantly missing and this hunk of useless metal doesn’t take that feeling away.”

He fell silent as he continued to watch Arthur work. You always felt bad whenever you dumped your trauma on him, he was always looking for ways for you to feel better. But there were just some things that couldn’t be fixed with reassurances and small gifts. He didn’t understand that and you didn’t have the heart to tell him that his kind and caring nature would never get you your wing back. It was gone forever and nothing can bring it back. 

You tried to not be bitter about it, it happened three years ago afterall, but you couldn’t help but feel a bitter taste on your tongue and a pang in your heart whenever someone mentions a time when you still had both wings. Whenever someone mentioned you having both wings, you could still remember the feeling of the air working itself through the nooks and crannies of the spaces between your feathers, the way that both wings would hang off your bed because they were too large (you never got to ask Philza about how he covered his wings), the way that they would both puff up behind you when you tried to intimidate your brothers during a snowball fight. You didn’t want those memories, they were of a better version of yourself. You didn’t want to be reminded of what could’ve been if you didn’t go deeper into that damned cave. 

“...Sorry, that was uncalled for.”

“Don’t apologize, I should’ve realized how you felt before bringing it up.”

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know.”

You watched as his eyebrows furrowed and he looked at you with confusion, “why’re you just now-”

“(Y/n) I think I did it! Come look!”

Without a second glance at your dad, you hurried off to inspect Arthur’s contraption. It was perfectly set up; the redstone was in a neat line with no breakages, the repeaters were set perfectly and spaced evenly apart, and the pistons were successfully moving together in timed spurts. 

You grinned at Arthur, “well done! This is perfect, you’ll be moving onto making your own inventions in no time. I couldn't have asked for a better apprentice.”

Arthur basked in your praise and listened to your words like they were being sung to him by an angel. He was practically beaming with how proud he was of himself. If the redstone smeared on his cheeks could be activated by emotional response, it would be glowing a brilliant red. 

You reached out to wipe away the redstone from his cheek with your thumb, “why don’t you go clean up so we can grab some lunch. I bet you’re hungry.”

“I’m not hungry, I just wanna work with you more!” Arthur tried to convince you, but the rumbling of his stomach told you otherwise. You chuckled as the redstone slowly got camouflaged into his reddening puffed out cheeks. 

He looked away in embarrassment as he started to stalk up the stairs, “...I’ll go clean up.”

Alongside teaching Arthur the basics of what you know, you were working on a plan to somehow release the souls from the Warden’s captivity. You felt a sort of survivor’s guilt when you thought about how you returned to your family and Hugh did not. Your family could survive without you, but Hugh was Arthur’s only family. It was unfair that such a kind, loving boy had his only family ripped away from him at such a young age when he needed his brother most. The least you could do for Arthur was free his brother’s soul from it’s endless torment. 

You kept a journal that you would write out your plans in. The plans ranged from fighting the Warden with your very limited swordsmanship to blowing the entire cave to smithereens. No matter what plan you came up with, it would always result in you getting seriously wounded or dying for the last time. Most of the plans you came up with wouldn’t work anyways; the Warden was just too powerful. Asking Philza or Techno was out of the question, you didn’t want to risk their lives. That, and they would never let you go kill it. This was something you had to do on your own. 

The mere thought of facing the Warden stressed you out extremely, giving you more and more nightmares about the monster. 

The Warden somehow entered your house. You could hear it’s booming footsteps working its way through the hallways and stopping at each room. You could hear how it slaughtered your family brutally. You could hear their screams slowly becoming integrated into the horrid cacophony of the souls’ as their souls were absorbed into the Warden’s being. Finally, as the Warden reached your room, you could hear your family’s voices over the harsh screaming of the other souls.

“You promised me that you wouldn’t let it get me.” Arthur.

“I thought you’d always protect me.” Tommy.

“Why’d you let me die?” Wilbur.

“I’ve done so much for you and you just let me die.” Techno. 

“It should’ve been you.” Philza.

Just as the Warden’s clawed hand swung down towards your face, you bolted up from your bed and flattened yourself against the wall scanning your room for the Warden. There was not a single thing out of place in your room. You wiped away the tears that were streaming freely down your cheeks and grabbed your automatic crossbow you had leaning against your wall. Grasping it with an iron grip and your finger hovering over the trigger, you reluctantly left your room and made your way down the hallway. You opened Philza’s door and peered into his room. You could see his wings sprawled out behind him and his chest rising and falling gently. He was still alive. You closed the door quietly and made your way to Wilbur’s old room where Arthur was currently sleeping. Bracing yourself to find his corpse, you opened the door.  You only saw a mop of brilliant red hair poking out of the blankets. You couldn’t see movement, oh god was he even breathing? You rushed over to his bed and pulled back the covers. 

You could see his peaceful face looking back at you. Putting your hand under his nose, you held your breath as you waited for air to hit your hand. Finally after what seemed like forever, you felt a gentle burst of air hit your hand. You covered Arthur back up and stalked out of his room. Your family was alive. The Warden was still in that cave. It was just a dream. It was just a dream.

You glanced at the clock, it was about half past four in the morning. You’d have to wake up in about two hours, so you just made your way down to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee. Not that you’d be able to go back to sleep after that nightmare anyways. Time moved infinitely around you as you became engrossed in your thoughts. You needed to make better plans to kill the Warden. You needed to be better. 

You didn’t notice when Arthur and Philza entered the kitchen. You were fully zoned out staring at the now cold cup of coffee in your hands, lost in thought. It wasn’t until you felt a hand on your shoulder that you snapped out of your trance. Recoiling violently and reaching for the crossbow you had propped up against the chair, you whipped around and pointed the weapon at the thing that touched you. Instead of the Warden standing there ready to devour you, you were met with a startled Philza stepping back with his hands in the air. Arthur was hiding behind him fearfully. 

Your eyes widened as you lowered the crossbow. You could feel your wing start to puff up and retract itself back in reflecting your horror as you hastily put the crossbow back onto the table. “I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I wouldn’t do that. Shit what time is it, I haven’t made breakfast yet. I’ll start. I'm sorry.”

You pushed passed them as you rushed over to the chest and pulled out the ingredients to make pancakes. Your shaky hands struggled slightly to pour the exact measurement of flour before someone stopped you. 

“(Y/n), I’ll make it.” It was your dad once again.

“No, I got it.”

“(Y/n), I’m not asking. Go sit down.”

You sighed as you started walking to the table. You could hear Arthur’s breath hitch in his throat when you grabbed the crossbow and stalked up to your room to hide it. You could feel guilt, shame, and horror rise up from deep within you from what you almost did. You couldn’t believe that you almost just shot them because of your stupid delusion. It would’ve been fatal too, your automatic crossbow never failed to kill. It was one of the many downsides to the weapons you invented, you had to live with the fact that people are getting killed because of your inventions. In a way, you indirectly killed many people per day. 

You walked down the stairs as slowly as you could so you could avoid having to face them. You couldn’t forget the look of pure fear on Arthur’s face as he hid behind Philza, you were the cause of that. You promised that you would protect him and he fully trusted you to do so. This morning you took that trust and destroyed it the second you reached for that crossbow.

When you reached the dining room, you sat down as far away from Arthur as possible. You could hear Philza pause his movements when he saw you enter the room before he started stirring again. He was probably trying to see if you came back with a stronger weapon so he could protect Arthur. You were a monster.

Soon enough breakfast was ready and a hefty plate of pancakes covered with maple syrup was placed in front of you. Breakfast went by quietly, the only sound coming from the clanking of silverware against plates. You didn’t eat much of your breakfast, you were too busy trying to think of a way to apologize to Arthur and Philza. In the middle of your thought process, you were interrupted by Arthur’s voice.

“(Y/n)?”

You jumped slightly and looked up at him, “yeah?”

“Can you look at my blueprint? I got an idea for something yesterday and I wanna see if you think it’d work.”

You looked at the young boy in slight confusion, “...Sure just finish your breakfast first.”

“I’m done, I’ll go grab it!”

Without giving you any warning, he jumped out of his chair and raced up the stairs.

“You gave us quite the scare this morning hun. What happened?”

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t apologize, just tell me what happened.”

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair, “I just had a bad nightmare last night. I couldn’t go back to sleep so I just… came down here to wait a bit so I could make breakfast.”

“Nightmares are understandable, but why’d you have a crossbow?”

“I thought I needed something to protect the house if it came.”

“If the Warden came? I thought you didn’t get nightmares about it anymore.”

“Well, I still do, just a lot more frequently-”

Arthur burst through the door and ran over to you, slapping the paper on the table in front of you. You squinted at it, trying to decipher the messy handwriting. It was a layout of a secret door, which was popular in the world of redstoning. You didn’t have the heart to tell him that though, especially with how excited he was to show you what he made. So, you smiled at him.

“It looks good buddy, do ya wanna try to build it today? I can help you.”

“Yes! I’m gonna go get dressed so we can build it!”

He once again dashed up the stairs, leaving you and Philza alone in the kitchen. Philza chuckled, “he reminds me of Tommy when he was that age. Except… a little more mellow.” When you didn’t respond, he turned to look at you. “What’s wrong?”

You sighed, “he was so scared of me this morning. I promised to protect him and I almost ended up killing him.”

“...Ya know I almost stabbed you and your brothers multiple times when you guys were younger because you guys startled me right?”

You felt the corners of your mouth twitch, “of course I do, and you would always get us ice cream after.”

“Did you ever resent me for it?”

“No, you were just trying to def- oh, I see where you’re going with this.”

“Ever the keen one,” he chuckled. “Arthur’s more understanding than most kids his age, I bet he understands that you didn’t mean to do that. You just gotta make it up to him.”

“Alright, thank you Dad. I think I’m gonna go get dressed so Arthur doesn’t have to wait long. I think if I have him wait any longer he’s gonna explode.”

After you got dressed, you walked downstairs and grabbed the materials Arthur would need and a couple of extra supplies you might need. Walking outside, you were met with an excited Arthur. You two worked on his contraption all day. You knew exactly what he needed to do to fix any problems that arouse, but you only gave him little hints that would push him in the right direction. You wanted him to stop relying on you so much for the little things. Sure, you were always going to be there for him when he was stuck, but you wanted him to be more independent. 

Eventually, the sky took on hues of pinks and yellows as the sun started to disappear behind the treeline. “It’s getting late, Arthur. You made good progress today.”

He nodded as he walked alongside you back into the house as you led him to the couch. “Arthur?”

He looked at you, his brown eyes clouded with exhaustion and confusion. “I’m so proud of how fast you’ve improved. I have something for you.” You reached into your bag and pulled out a new pair of goggles and leather gloves.

“I know it’s not much, but-”

“I love it.” He whispered as he stared down at his presents in his hands. Without warning, he flung himself into your side as he tightly hugged your midsection. You froze before you wrapped your left wing around him in a feathery hug. Your hand reached up to stroke his hair as you chuckled. “It’s no problem kid, you deserve it.”

You two sat there for a bit before you patted his back, “dinner’s almost ready. Let’s go clean up so my dad doesn’t throw a fit. You have redstone and dirt all over you.”

After you two cleaned the dirt off from your faces and hands, you led Arthur down the stairs. You nudged his shoulder when you got to the end of the stairs, “race you to the kitchen!”

You broke off into a speed walk as Arthur started to sprint, laughing boisterously as the distance grew between you two quickly. Grinning, you shouted out, “oh no, I can’t go any faster! You’re gonna win!” 

You dramatically yelled out a stretched out “no” as he bolted into the kitchen and sat at the table. You sped walked into the kitchen and sat next to Arthur. “How’re you so fast? I couldn’t catch up to you if I tried.”

“Yeah, you’re a speed demon Arthur!” Philza agreed from the stove between laughs. He forgot how much missed having his kids race each other to the dinner table, having Arthur around the house was really refreshing for him. He was ecstatic that you were getting closer to Arthur, it meant that he was going to get another grandson soon. 

Dinner went by a lot smoother with laughter and banter being tossed around freely. Arthur would not take the goggles off and wore them proudly at the top of his head. Philza would cast knowing looks over to you when he was sure you were looking at him, which confused you, but you just brushed the feeling aside. You were happy sitting at the table eating with your little family; you couldn’t wait for your brothers and nephew to finally meet Arthur. They’d get along well with your apprentice. Until then, you have a mission to complete involving a certain monster. 

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[mylifeisactuallyamess]

A/N: So. I wrote Anakin. Honestly the man has been living rent free in my mind for so long and we all know what I’m like for an angry angsty Star Wars boy. I am suffering with Imposter Syndrome massively with this because I don’t think I got his character down 100%. And well, I am a perfectionist. Anyway, here have this dumpster fire of a one shot.

Anakin Skywalker x Sith!Reader

Warnings: Canon violence, character death, lots of a Jedi hate talk. Damn fucking Jedi. Oh and a shit ton of angst.

Word Count: 1909

Your black robes fluttered around your legs as you peered over the ledge, a Jedi ship had come into land and you let a sly smile creep across your face. It was the Jedi you wanted, you could feel the ripples of his power through the force, the anger and darkness always with him even if he didn’t use them. You moved away and headed deeper into the compound, he was coming to stop you, take you back to the Jedi Council. You felt the presence of the 501st as they spread out looking for you but their force signatures were dulled by the brightness of him. Already the anticipation of battle thrummed through your body, the hilts of your sabers melded perfectly to the curve of your palms. Pulling down the visor on your mask you paced feeling him coming closer and closer until finally the door opened and there he stood in his black Jedi robes.

“I assumed you’d got lost,” you shot at him.

“I could sense your loathsome presence as soon as I landed,” he replied haughtily. You carried on pacing, seeing his saber still attached to his belt, the sure arrogance he had in his abilities made you proud. He was always such a cocky bastard but he had every right to be.

“What happens now, Skywalker? You think I will go quietly so you can hand me over to the traitors of the Galaxy?”

“The Jedi are not the traitors here!” He roared.

“Yes they are! And you know it!” His eyes followed you, across the floor, his expression darkening. “How can you not see their narrow minded ideas are strangling the Galaxy? They sit in their temple, allowing this war to continue all the while saying they don’t advocate it. They are apparently keepers of the peace and yet shattering it time and time again!”

“No! I will not listen to your lies!” You lifted your chin in defiance.

“Then come and shut me up,” your voice sneered through the vocoder. He moved quickly and your sabers came alive in your hands, the loud clash of the beams sent sparks over your heads. “The Jedi are a lie, their only legacy is failure…” you continued.

“No!” The force push hit you in the chest and a laugh burst from your chest as you slammed into the wall.

“Yes! Use that rage on me, Anakin.”

“You don’t want me to fight you,” he threatened, making you grin behind the mask.

“Oh baby, I’m counting on it.” You ducked as his blue lightsaber pierced the wall, you took the opening, punching him in the stomach making him grunt in surprise and retreat, before coming at you again. The sabers danced in a pattern that was all too familiar. You met each other move for move, nothing survived the brightness of your blades as you both cleaved a path of destruction. You spun out of his reach, putting some debris between you knowing it wasn’t much of a barrier, not when it came to you and Anakin. “They are oppressing you Anakin! They will never set you free to accomplish your true potential! They do not see the power you possess.”

“And you do?” He asked aggressively, pointing his saber at your chest as he roamed across the floor.

“I have always seen you.” He frowned and you sensed his confusion at your words. Retracting your blades you removed your mask letting it fall to the floor with a thud. “They told you I was dead didn't they?” You asked softly. The brightness of his own blade diminished followed by the ripples of surprise and crushing sadness but he stayed where he was. “More lies,” you pointed out.

“I don’t understand, Obi-Wan…”

“Obi-Wan misled you. He didn’t want to tell you the truth in case you came looking for me,” you spread your arms. “But the force guided you back to me anyway.” He whispered your name like it physically pained him, taking a step back as you stepped forward. “Change is coming, the end of an era giving way to the dawn of the Empire.”

“No, stop!” He cried.

“Join me Anakin….we can make the Galaxy a better place.” You backed him against the wall, his blue eyes closing as though he could stop himself from seeing you. “I know the pain you bear,” you whispered leaning into him. “I can help you face it, use it.”

“It is not the Jedi way, I will not fall for this!” You turned away from him growling with frustration.

“Stop being so blind! How do you refuse to see through the veil of deceit they have draped over us?” You screamed.

“How do you refuse to see the good! Has the touch of the light left you that much in the dark?” It hurt you, seeing him like this, sensing his pain and torment but it was necessary. If you could get Anakin onside the war would be won and you would be Darth Sidious’ prize apprentice. Turning the Chosen one was a task only you could accomplish, because out of all the people in the Galaxy, you were the one Anakin would not bring himself to destroy.

“Where do we go from here?” You asked him, watching as his chest heaved in distress.

“You will come with me, maybe the Jedi can help you…” you tutted in annoyance at his words.

“What a ridiculous notion! The Jedi can’t even help themselves let alone anyone else. Look at Ahsoka…” his blade roared to life in his hands as he flew at you, clashing against your red blades.

“You will leave Ahsoka out of this!” He snarled.

“But she is a part of this, we are all a part of this story that the Jedi have written,” you shouted over the crackling of your blades as he forced you back. The blades scissored out and his face grew close enough so you could feel his breath on your face. “You know I speak the truth Anakin, it’s why it upsets you so much.”

“No!” The air was pushed from your body and you fell backwards, your sabers falling from your grasp and skitting across the floor. You looked up into the light of the blue blade, seeing him standing over you with that twisted look on his face. The light of it shone in his tear filled eyes and you waited with bated breath. “I trusted you! Why didn’t you come and find me?” He shouted.

“What good would it have done? Would you have helped me like you helped her?” His saber lowered, but it didn’t go out and you chose a different tactic. “They asked you to spy on the Chancellor didn’t they?” He frowned, not hiding the shock he felt at your words. “I have my sources,” you spoke before he could question where you got the information. “Did that feel right to you? Is that a Just course of action for the Jedi to take?”

“I don’t…” you stood up slowly keeping eye contact.

“Use your brain Anakin!”

“I am!” He yelled turning away, his hand held out to you as though he wanted to stop you advancing.

“Anakin,” you whispered. “Just embrace the darkness.” His body slumped and you felt the streams rushing past you as he accepted the pain and anger inside him. You laughed, opening your arms at the vortex created by the force, it swirled around him, welcoming him. “You will not regret this Anakin! He will reward you beyond your wildest dreams!” You retrieved your sabers off the floor, snapping them to your belt before picking up your mask. When you turned Anakin was right behind you, his piercing eyes staring straight through you.

“What do we do now?” He asked and you hesitated slightly, sensing something still had to be unlocked within him but you didn’t know what. It wasn’t your place, you weren’t his master. You were his equal.

“I will take you to my master. He will know what to do.” You began to walk off but his hand snatched at your arm.

“What did he tell you about the rules of the Sith?”

“Enough,” you responded. “We could overthrow him,” you suggested with a smirk. Anakin released your arm and you relaxed slightly. “We were always such a team, unbeatable even on the side of the light, imagine what we could accomplish with an entire Galaxy at our fingertips?”

“I missed you,” he whispered and you took a step towards him. You leaned your forehead against his temple finally allowing your feelings to come to the forefront. Anakin had been everything to you, it had killed you to leave him behind but Sidious had promised you happiness in the end and now here you are achieving that. Your hand sought his own out, his fingers clammy as he gripped you tightly.

“And I missed you,” you breathed against his skin. His face shifted, his nose pressing against your cheek and your heart pounded at finally being reunited with the one person you wanted in the entire Galaxy. “The Clones are coming,” you murmured.

“I can sense them,” he replied, still not moving away from you. His expression was one of torture and you swept a strand of hair gently off his brow.

“What’s wrong?” You asked softly.

“There is….something I need to do.”

“Can I help?” You whispered, brushing your lips against his cheek.

“Yes.” He shifted, your chests pressing together as he finally kissed you. His lips were soft and lingering making you melt into him so you were unprepared for the burning sensation in your side. Your mouth opened against his in a loud gasp of surprise, his tears glinted in the glowing blue light of his saber as it protruded from your body. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. You couldn’t speak, your body refused to take a breath and you could see the darkside emitting from his irises as he gazed mournfully at you. “My master sent me to find you.” He sobbed when you slumped against him, not able to hold your weight anymore, the smell of your own burning flesh making you feel sick. His blade retracted but still the pain remained, the sting of betrayal coupled with the hurt of your life ending by the hand you trusted the most.

He followed you to the ground, your legs folding like they had no bones left in them as numbness spread through your body. “I will see peace and justice reign in the new Empire.” Your eyes widened, the only response you were able to give as the life slowly ebbed away from you. “I will never forget you.” You wanted to ask why, he had been genuinely surprised to see you under the mask and then you realised you’d both been played. Only the strongest would come out of this room alive, but you had been blinded. Tricked by your own feelings that maybe, just maybe he would have joined you rather than burying you in his quest for power. His hand cradled your head, his tears pattering onto your skin, mingling with the lone tear that ran from the corner of your own eye. We could have done this together, Anakin….

“It never would have worked. I’m saving you.” He replied as your world grew darker. “You were the one war I could never win….until now.”

[craomy]

A Serendipitous Encounter Genshin Impact: Xiao x Reader (Fluff/Agnst)

Genshin Impact: Xiao x Reader (Fluff/Agnst)

AN: Xiao is one of my favorite characters and I’m really excited for him to appear in the 1.3 update. This is one of the ideas I’ve had in my head for a while, and after writing it all, I realized that this story is pretty lengthy, so please bear with me haha. 

Please enjoy :)

Word count: 15,894

Trigger warning: There’s very descriptive writing of gore and mentions abuse.

-=+=-

Xiao wasn’t always known for being the Adeptus of Liyue. There was a time when the Yaksha wasn’t fulfilling orders from the oldest archon of Teyvat. A time where Morax had never appeared before him was when Xiao was suffering the hardships of endlessly slaughtering innocents, commanded by an evil archon. Although Xiao is around two thousand years old, he too had faced naivety and had blindly served as a puppet to perform cruel acts. With this, he had no solid foundation of what it truly takes to feel mortal emotion. Just what exactly did it mean to him? What could it all do to him?

✦

Red.

Xiao gazed upon the blood-soaked battlefield. The crimson colors of those he massacred was something he was very familiar with. Having felt no remorse nor any guilt of these deaths caused, everything felt nothing but natural to him. 

“You are an evil being. With that being said, you must continue to slay all of them to demonstrate your power until you reach your full potential.” The archon would remind the young warrior constantly. Although Xiao had obediently listened to his archon, he couldn’t help but feel curious when brought to the question of what it meant to be... free.

Mindlessly killing another town, Xiao’s piercing gaze had shot daggers through a woman who had clung to the feet of the demon. With begging eyes, the elderly woman had desperately reached her hand to grab his robes, “Y-You poor soul.” as she then dropped to the floor. Xiao was continued to stare down the now lifeless corpse as he repeated the woman’s last words.

“Poor soul?” Xiao uttered slowly. Confused, he took a step back for himself and looked back up to the burning houses. Realizing that he was no longer in his demonic form, his gaze lowered from the destruction he had caused. 

Did he really do all of this?

Since when has he been holding all of this adeptal power to himself?

“That’s right. You caused all of this.” A voice from behind stated.

Xiao turned around and had immediately knelt on one knee to bow to his puppeteer. The archon that stood before him had smirked, “Good. You’ve been so compliant with my requests, I just had to give you a lovely reward. More power.” he laughed as he awed at the marvelous sight in front of him. The disarray in the city along with the screams of innocents had brought nothing but music to the evil archon’s ears.

“Well done here. This is exactly what Teyvat needs. Soon, the other archons will have nothing against me. Having brought turmoil upon thousands really must be one of your specialties.” The archon turned his back on the young man. Xiao listened carefully to his archon’s next orders. “You know... I’ve been wondering about what your thoughts of these mortals are. With you killing them on my behalf, I ponder if you know what it means to understand their pain.” The archon went on, carefully eyeing how the demon would react to his words.

“They’re lowly beings of Teyvat. With no real intentions of their futures, they continue to slowly eat up everything they can get their hands on. They’re selfish humans that step on others to get what they want.” Xiao dutifully answered.

The archon was amused. He truly does learn well from what he had taught him.

“Well if that’s the case, there’s one last thing I’d like for you to do for me.” The evil archon turned back around to Xiao, grabbing Xiao’s chin to make direct eye contact with the demon’s amber orbs.

“I want you to learn what it means to love.” He ordered, making Xiao’s eyes widen slightly. “What? You mean the pathetic things those mortals do?” Xiao became befuddled. All this time, the evil archon he followed after instructed him to be wary of human emotions and to avoid them at all costs. Just exactly what made him think of such an absurd idea?

The crackles of the flames burned in the midst of the battlefield they stood in. The stench of blood was something Xiao was used to. Hearing the voices of humans pleading and begging for mercy was mundane. Looking at the mortals in the eye with his jade spear as they face death was what he was best at. To think that his last lesson is to... love?

“That’s right. I want you to find out what it’s like to love. There’s something great I must witness once you’ve achieved that, and it will all be a new experience for you to accomplish for me. Can you do that?” The evil archon let go of the young man’s face and stood tall before him.

Xiao must not question his archon’s intentions. With wincing eyes, he looked at the blood smeared grass with a pinch of doubt. This was nothing he wanted to take a part in, but if it means that this would be the last time to commit acts like this, then so be it.

“Your wish is my command.” He submissively answered.

✦

Some time had passed since the command of the evil archon. Xiao had been ruminating the words he’s been told and continued to think about what his true intentions might be. There was only one place where he can get his head out of the clouds and it was none other than the foundation of Plaustrite, the shrine that resided in the sky above Qingyun’s highest point.

Up there was the only place where he could feel...

What was the word?

The word “nothing” doesn’t quite fit what he was looking for.

Nevermind that. It won’t matter anyway.

As Xiao made his way up to his secret sanctuary, he made eye contact with dull (E/C) colored orbs. Liquid crept out of the young girl’s eyes as it dripped down her rosy cheeks. The way her (H/C) hair had been disheveled yet still perfectly framing her face was more than beautiful as it swayed in the gentle gusts of wind from above. The clothing she wore looked partially torn and shredded at the ends while remaining to compliment her beauty.

White.

She was wearing a pure white dress. A wedding dress, if Xiao could remember correctly. With the way she gazed back at the young adepti, Xiao recognized it as fear.

As expected. Many mortals would cower from his presence. But this time was different. His objective wasn’t to kill anymore.

“Worry not mortal. I’m not here to hurt you.” He stated with no ulterior motives behind his words.

The young girl that stood before him had felt tense but then sighed in relief.

“Thank goodness. You don’t look like one of the people he had sent.” The (H/C) haired girl had said out loud. Xiao had raised an eyebrow as he observed the mortal’s surprisingly calm features. What had she meant by that? Was she being chased?

The girl had taken another step back.

“I guess I can finally be free now.” She said with a solemn smile.

The young adepti didn’t understand her words.

Free?

The (H/C) haired girl had taken a decorative hair ornament out of her well-done braids and tossed it on the stone floors of the floating shrine. Xiao’s attention was still stuck on the alluring human in front of him. With the sun setting right behind her, Xiao’s eyes had suddenly darkened. His amber eyes widened at the realization of what this human was trying to do.

The young girl had taken a final step backward, feeling no more room for her to step on. Her graceful figure was something Xiao really couldn’t take his eyes off of now.

She...

She fell.

Xiao’s body had a its mind of its own now. Without even thinking, he leaped off of the edges of the Foundation of Plaustrite. His mind was racing as he took his plunge into the sky.

What the hell was that girl thinking?

At this height, she’s going to end up killing herself!

The adepti was in a race against time itself. It’ll only take mere seconds until the girl will face her inevitable death. White flowers that were woven in the girl’s dress had been falling out of place, but she paid no attention to it. In the midst of seeking out for her answer of freedom, she couldn’t help but think how peaceful it was to fall. The breeze had begun to feel harsh against her skin. The force around her began to pick up as she saw her teardrops flying past her. 

At least now she’ll be free.

She shut her eyes, thinking that she could finally accept death.

...Or so she thought.

As the girl plummeted through the clouds, her eyes had widened when she saw the young man diving after her. Time felt like it had slowed down for both of them.

Xiao’s head must be playing with him. He really is risking his life right now for a mere mortal. Yet, something in his chest felt like if he didn’t do this, he would regret it. Perhaps it was because he’s never seen something colored so brightly. The color of white, that is.

What was the word that could describe it?

The young adepti had made his transformation in mid-air, his mask giving him enough power to increase his descending speed to match with the falling angel. That dark aura of his had been able to surround him into what many people of Liyue would think of as a monster. An indescribable beast that’s comparable to a demon itself, at that. Xiao had tightly grasped the girl’s waist with one arm, pulling her close to his chest.

The girl had blinked in astonishment. She was completely stunned. She examined the man that wore the intimidating mask that concealed his true facial expressions behind it.

“Hold on tight!” He commanded, his voice slightly corrupted as he could feel his demonic form consuming him. The girl had nodded, holding on tighter to the young demon. In Xiao’s other hand, he swiftly summoned his jade spear and his eyes darted to his surroundings.

By the time he scoped the environment, he couldn’t find any other way to make a soft landing for the human. They were both about to meet the ground if he doesn’t come up with an idea to stop their fall.

Xiao clicked his tongue, finding the situation to be quite irritating.

All because of this foolish mortal.

With his jade spear, he quickly began to make a straight plunge into the earth. His grasp around the girl’s waist became tighter. He had a slight twinge of concern in his body. Seeing the way she reacted to him wasn’t what he had expected. Will he be strong enough to absorb the impact? Will this even contribute to his mission? Seeing that she’s wearing a wedding dress, perhaps she has an idea of what “love” is.

Yes. This mortal will do.

Xiao was focusing his energy when all of a sudden he directed his attention towards the girl and had became confused once more.

She’s... crying?

A loud crash could be heard from a far distance. The young demon’s weapon had cracked deeply in the crust of Liyue’s grounds. The collateral damage of the both of them with the field could easily be mistaken for an earthquake. The sounds of crumbling dirt had rumbled around Xiao as he tightly held onto the young girl, holding her bridal style in his arms. He huffed, feeling a little bit dizzy from using his demonic form. It was almost like his health was slowly deteriorating. 

Xiao stared intently at the remains of their fall. He couldn’t shake the thought that he had gone through so much trouble to save this suicidal girl.

The girl, on the other hand, couldn’t stop staring at the man who saved her. 

She’s never felt such gentle hands until now. She’s never seen such a mysterious being before either. Surely no one could have saved her from that height, so what was he exactly? Instead of fearing this new type of unknown, she couldn’t help but feel comforted by it. Xiao’s aura began to diminish on its own. As Xiao’s huffing slowed down, his mask had crumbled away into the air.

The girl couldn’t break eye contact with the handsome demon. She couldn’t help but notice the splatters of blood on his cheek. Was it his own blood?

Slowly, yet hesitantly, she brought her warm hand to Xiao’s cheek. With her thumb, she gently removed the small streak of blood on his face.

This confused Xiao once more. With the young adepti’s pride, he turned away from the pitiful human’s soft hands. “Why aren’t you scared of me?” He asked in a harsh yet bewildered tone.

The girl hadn’t shown fear around him at all, which was something new to Xiao. Usually, they would run away or cry for mercy, but this human was different than the others.

After all of the hardships that the girl had gone through, she was able to catch a glimpse of familiarity in his eyes.

“You looked like you were hurting.” She answered honestly.

The man was taken aback once more.

Xiao dropped the girl in his arms. She landed on the ground with a thud, no longer stuck in a trance. Xiao turned his back on the girl, trying to think of what she had said.

Hurting?

He doesn’t have any external injuries. Right?

The (H/C) haired girl turned her head and saw the jade spear pierced through the ground. Her eyes darkened, remembering why she had wanted to end her life again. “I can use this instead,” she muttered, grabbing ahold of Xiao’s weapon, trying to pull it out on her own with her own strength. The black haired man with teal undertones put his hand over the girl’s smaller ones, his gaze hovering over the suicidal girl.

“Just what are you planning to do with that?” He looked down on the girl with a serious atmosphere. She made eye contact with the man who had saved her without flinching. “You mortals are more than fragile. Why in the world would you jump off of the highest point in Qingyun Peak?” He scoffed, wanting to find out her reasoning behind all of this.

Ignoring his question, she glared at the man in the eyes, “I want you to kill me. Put me to rest.” in which he clicked his tongue again in annoyance.

“Why do you constantly wish death upon yourself?” He inquired, attempting to put up with this stubborn girl.

“Because I want to be free.” She said so confidently.

What did she just say?

Xiao was more than curious now with this human. A young girl who wants to kill herself for freedom? Impossible.

He let out a sigh, picking up his jade spear with little to no effort. “Fine. I’ll kill you myself.” Xiao flipped his weapon from the ground and around his arms to point it straight back at the girl he had just rescued. The girl had stared straight towards the man as he pointed the sharp weapon towards her neck. She had not feared him at all whatsoever, which irked the demon a little bit. If anything, she was more than delighted to have an opportunity to be liberated from this terrible world.

She was ready to face death head-on.

This bothered Xiao.

“But before I kill you, tell me what they call you.” He said, referring to her name.

She closed her eyes, “They call me (Y/N). At least, that’s what I want to be referred as.” she complied, awaiting her eternal slumber. Xiao shook his head, withdrawing his spear and casting it in the air to disperse. No longer in his possession, he had other plans with this human.

“Well then, lowly (Y/N). I order you to teach me what it means to be human. You don’t seem to be having much to do, so to make the most use out of you, you will explain your human ways. Only then, I will grant your wish.” Xiao finalized his train of thoughts with those words. Standing his ground, he continued to watch this human’s reactions towards his demanding request.

(Y/N) had no other choice but to comply with him. At least she’s in a better position now if she can somehow be protected by this powerful deity. Maybe she did want to do one final thing before she goes off into the other side.

“Since you stopped my death from occurring, I suppose I have no other options... but there’s one thing I would like to do first.” (Y/N) said with certainty. She wiped her tear stained cheeks as she wore a strong front. As she slowly rose on her own, she couldn’t help but notice the man in front of him wore a very elegant attire. The man wore a white sleeveless shirt with a black collar, dark purple pants, and dark purple boots. He wore black and dark turquoise gloves with gold decals and a necklace that looked ancient. Around his left arm, he bears a white and gold sleeve with red linings. The man had worn an Anemo vision on his left glove. As for his physical features, he was quite good looking. His tattoos had no longer glowed brightly as it did before, and all that was left was his amber eyes piercing through (Y/N)’s entirety.

The young adepti will find this girl to be beneficial to his mission.

(Y/N) turned around and was about to lead the way until she spoke.

“Also... Thank you... for catching me.” She said loud and clear for Xiao to hear. Without a sound, he nodded, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to see his gesture as he slowly followed her from behind.

✦

The two of them didn’t make much conversation along the way. It seems that the adepti preferred to keep his distance from the young girl. (Y/N) has seen that look on his face before. It was the look of someone who has been strong enough to endure such sufferings. She wasn’t quite sure if she should be getting to know him, but as of now, she was able to make peace with his presence.

“We’re here.” She noted out loud.

Xiao had glanced around his surroundings. It was nothing but burnt down houses and crumbled ruins. Completely deserted and sullen, it had somehow brought peace to (Y/N). Curious as to why they’ve arrived to this wasteland of a town, he continued to put up his guard.

(Y/N) took a deep breath, “Everyone! I’m back home!” she hollered, a shout that could be echoed far off in the distance. Xiao raised his eyebrows once more as he crossed his arms, “Are you even hearing yourself? There’s no one here.” the man bluntly commented based on his observations.

The girl shook her head, “I’m sure there’s someone here. I have faith in my family.” she said with a hopeful look. He slowly nodded, letting her believe in what she wanted to.

Suddenly, a tiny head had popped up out of nowhere. One of the kids climbed out of the debris of a fallen house and had gasped out loud. The young child had quickly jumped out of her hiding spot and had begun tearing up. (Y/N) quickly bent down as she opened her arms out for the child to run into.

“(Y/N)! You came back!” The little girl cried out in disbelief as she tightly hugged the older girl. (Y/N) had embraced the child, holding her close to her chest while stroking the child’s hair. Her strong demeanor seemed to twinge a little bit as she felt a wave of relief wash over her. After she pulled back from the hug, she smiled back at the little girl, “Oh come on. You think I would leave you that easily? I wouldn’t do that to you.” she cooed, a lump in her throat building up.

The little girl stopped sniffing and had beamed brightly, “Everyone! It’s safe to come out now!” she exclaimed, loud and clear for everyone in the ruins to listen to.

All of a sudden, many kids began to pop out of their hiding spots. From each angle and corner from the collapsed houses, children ranging from many ages had leaped out of their spots to come and tackle (Y/N) with loving hugs. 

“(Y/N)! Where have you been this entire time?!”

“You’re finally here..! We thought we would never see you again...”

“What about those bad guys that took you away? Where are they?! I’ll roughen them up if I have to!”

“Who cares about them? I’m just glad that our (Y/N) is back home!”

Xiao examined them all carefully. If he could remember, his puppeteer told him of something like this before.

That’s right.

This is what a heartfelt reunion is supposed to look like.

Xiao had stood on the side quietly as he watched unfamiliar facial expressions on the children. There were around twenty kids that had surrounded the (H/C) haired girl, happily welcoming her back home. What did (Y/N) possibly go through to find herself here? The adepti wondered what would have happened to these children if he hadn’t caught the falling angel. What would their reaction be?

Feeling a little tug on his sleeve, Xiao peered down at a little girl, no older than four, to be looking up at him. Not knowing what to do, he just stood there, staring back at the child playing around with his robe.

“(Y/N), who is that man standing right next to you?” One of the kids asked while pointing at the young demon. (Y/N) stood up with a child in her arms, “That man is... erm... His name is Xiao! He’s the one who rescued me from those bad guys.” The girl had quickly made up as the rest of the kids had gasped in wonder.

“What? Foolish human, I bear no title such as that. I am only a weapon of destruction and-”

“H-His name is Xiao! He was only pretending because you all like to play as pirates.” (Y/N) had laughed nervously as she walked up to the young man, “Please play along, they’re very innocent with no knowledge of what you’re talking about.” she had whispered, which made Xiao groan in annoyance.

How irritable.

“Fine. If that’s the case, then so be it. It is I, Xiao, the Mighty and Illuminated Adepti.” the man played along with a serious tone. To his surprise, all of the kids had gasped in amazement from what he had said. All of the children began to jump around him and ask him questions.

At first, (Y/N) thought of him to be a very cold-hearted person, but after seeing him interacting with the kids, maybe he wasn’t so bad.

“Wow your dress is very elegant! You look like you’re about to get married!” A little girl pointed out, amazed by how splendid (Y/N) had looked. “Who are you marrying? If it’s that mean looking guy over there, I’ll beat him up!” A little boy screamed as he ran over to Xiao and softly punched his leg.

This disgusted Xiao. Oh how much he wanted to kill this child right here and right now for thinking he had the right to insult him with such an act. His dark aura began to surround him until he looked back at the (H/C) haired girl. The kids must be very important to (Y/N) if the last thing she wanted to do was to see them.

Putting his pride to the side, he took a deep breath and looked down on the young boy that punched his leg. Instead of brutally injuring the boy in front of him, he walked and stood next to the young bride that took care of all of the kids.

“That is correct. She’s marrying me.” He said with seriousness laced in his voice.

(Y/N) had blushed, becoming flustered. “W-What are you saying?? Xiao, I am not-”

“She is. I brought her back here safe and sound. You mere mortals should be thanking me for sparing her.” Xiao stated, wrapping one arm around the girl’s waist.

(Y/N) flushed red, shocked at what this man was saying. He has to be out of his mind.

The boy that initiated the punch towards Xiao had his mouth dropped wide. Xiao sent a smug look at the child, claiming victory in his head. If he couldn’t win against him by making him succumb to death, then he will win by claiming (Y/N) as his own.

All in all, the kids had a lot of fun messing around with the young adepti, and (Y/N) was glad to be back.

✦

After tucking all of the kids into their ragged sleeping bags, (Y/N) was able to loosen up from her stress bit by bit. Xiao continued to watch her as she went to tend to her things. The young girl would get up and hum the children to sleep, while some she had talked to them and reassured that she was fine. The boy that had punched Xiao earlier came up to (Y/N) and tugged on her dress a little bit to gain her attention.

“Yes, what is it, Caihong?” the (H/C) haired girl smiled ever so gently towards the young boy. “Could you fix up my arm for me? The wound started to open up again.” he quietly murmured. (Y/N)’s (E/C) eyes widened slightly as she saw the size of the cut on his arm. This looked like a cut of a sword.

“Who did this to you?” she asked in concern.

“One of the bad guys,” Caihong quietly said. “but I didn’t lose! I scared them off so that they wouldn’t come to our hideout.”

Xiao watched intently as he leaned against the stone wall. Without any comment, he continued to stare and observe what mortals do in their conversations. 

(Y/N) sat the boy down on a chair and had plucked a translucent white flower from her ragged wedding dress. The scent it radiated was... pleasant to Xiao’s senses.

“What flower is that?” Xiao had inquired, aweing how it bloomed on its own. (Y/N) looked up at his direction and down to the lovely flower in her hands. “Ah, this is the Qingxin flower. It grows on only the highest peaks of Liyue and can serve as a remedy for some injuries.” the girl answered, giving Xiao one for himself to keep.

He took the offering and twiddled it by the stem. Curious, he brought it up to his nose to take a sniff of it. Its fragrance was nothing like the stench of blood. This scent was certainly heavenly.

After (Y/N) had finished taking care of Caihong, she tucked him in one of the only sleeping bags they had and sat down next to Xiao. The distance between them was enough for him to be comfortable. (Y/N) stretched her arms and had leaned her back against the stone wall with the adepti right by her side.

“Sorry for all of the commotion earlier. These kids aren’t in the best condition, but seeing them smile is enough for me to get by.” (Y/N) apologized with a peaceful smile.

“Where are their parents?” He inquired, wanting to know the bits and information to this mortal’s story.

(Y/N) turned away from Xiao, looking up to the sky above them. “They’ve fought and died bravely in the wars they partake in. Some of the children have been abandoned or found injured when I walk around the ruins. Kids of war need a happier childhood, so I decided to be the one to look after them. As the oldest orphan, I felt like I had a duty to fulfill.” She shifted her head to look back at the young adepti.

“I’m sure you must have a duty to fulfill, right?” She grinned warmly towards the young man. He stopped making eye contact with her and looked at his hands, reimagining if it was him on a battlefield. He thought about the mission his evil archon ordered him to go on about and thought about how he had always served as his god’s weapon.

Knowing that (Y/N) might be frightened if he told her what he did in the past, he answered her question with a nod. It felt a little bit conflicting for him to be around these abandoned kids when it’s most likely Xiao to be the one that annihilated those children’s parents. All of the orders he had received during war-- he had to fulfill them all. Even if it meant bloodshed among innocents.

(Y/N) could only admire how the night sky had glistened above them. “The sky looks better here when I’m at home,” she commented, resting her head against the wall.

Xiao looked around and could only see what meets the eye. “This place is a dump. This is not a proper place to call a home.” He bluntly stated. (Y/N) could see what he was getting at, but shook her head.

“Sure, this place looks terrible, but it’s those who reside in the place that can make it a home. Home could mean a peaceful and quiet place where you can happily live in. It’s somewhere that you know you can come back to, feeling cared for, respected, and loved.” She passionately spoke with fire in her eyes. That strong determination that shined in her (E/C) eyes was nothing like before. The time that he had rescued her from falling to her death, her eyes looked like they were filled with anguish.

Xiao tried to remember if there was ever a time if he felt what a “home” was. 

“I’ve never had a home before. Someone like me doesn’t deserve a place like that.” Xiao had closed his eyes while folding his arms. (Y/N) looked back at the young adepti with serious eyes, “That’s nonsense! Of course, you deserve a place like that. Everyone deserves to be loved.” she retorted, unconsciously holding onto both of Xiao’s hands.

A part of him had made him defensive, a bit startled from the sudden contact. Nothing fails to surprise him, at this point. This (Y/N) girl was full of surprises.

“Exactly what is that word? What is ‘love’?” Xiao thought out loud for her to hear. 

She looked a bit confused. Does this man really not know what love is?

“Well... love is when you cherish something so dearly. It’s when you have a special connection between you and another person. When you become so used to that, it’s like something you feel like you have to protect no matter the cost.” (Y/N) answered without a doubt.

That concept was nothing but foreign to the young demon.

“I don’t recognize it as a need.” He said straightforwardly.

She tightened her grip on his hands slightly, “One day,” she started. Xiao looked up to meet his eyes with the bold girl in front of him, “you’ll suddenly realize it. I’m sure of it. Everyone gets to feel it in some way. Once you do, I’m sure you’ll realize that it’s a very powerful feeling.” (Y/N) brought his hands to her head. It almost looks like she was trying to pray for him to find this peculiar light that he couldn’t see.

Xiao slowly nodded, still trying to get used to the human emotions that she constantly radiates. Maybe from now on, he’ll really try to understand her. Xiao looked back down, his hands enveloped in an unfamiliar warmth. He slowly pulled away from her hands and given her one of the blankets, putting it over her shoulders.

(Y/N) blinked in confusion, watching him walk away. “Where are you going?” she asked.

“I’m going to keep a lookout for you. Get some rest so you can continue looking after the children in the morning.” Xiao stated, summoning his spear out of thin air and piercing it in the floor. He stood his ground as he looked beyond the fields. (Y/N) smiled, wrapping the blanket around her even more.

How considerate...

“Thank you, Xiao.” she quietly whispered, finding herself to fall asleep in no time.

The young man’s ear twitched, hearing the name that she had given him. Not even the evil archon of his had given him a name. He looked back up at the night sky, holding onto the Qingxin flower that (Y/N) had given to him.

“Xiao, huh?” he repeated the name out loud.

That (Y/N) girl had been nothing but trouble to him and yet, a part of him wanted to thank her for giving him something that no one had ever done before.

✦

A couple of weeks went on as Xiao continued to stay by (Y/N)’s side. When he wasn’t around her, he would practice fighting with his spear outside. Some of the kids would watch him as he perfected his fighting stances and his attacks. In the beginning, Xiao could only feel stiff around the little kids running around him. He knew that he was a very powerful entity and a part of him didn’t really want to hurt this group of young mortals.

Sure, he was definitely cold towards the children in the beginning, but after hearing what (Y/N) had to say about them, he tried to understand them more. (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel grateful for him to be around her. Something about him made him much different than the other men who had tried to interact with the young beauty. Then at night times, Xiao would spend his time listening to the lonely girl and would ask her questions about what it meant to live as a human.

Xiao concentrated on his attacks while he continued to think about the past conversations he’s had with (Y/N).

“Happiness is vital to everyone. It’s something you can obtain in various ways, but in the end, it’s like a feeling you have when you sit back at the end of the day and remember those fond memories.”

“Sadness is when you feel a part of your heart missing something. Usually, it’s a reaction to something, for instance, a painful event. Eventually, that something fades away and becomes a memory. When that happens, you can’t help but miss that something that’s now unobtainable. It’s natural for everyone to go through it.”

“Loss? Well... Loss is when you realize that something you loved is no longer with you. It’s something irreplaceable and you’ll find yourself grieving over it for a long while.”

“Marriage? Well... I think it’s supposed to be something that brings you joy. You make a special connection with someone in a way that no one else can, and they can always be the one to be there for you. It’s where unconditional love begins to sprout and you realize you’d want to spend the rest of your life with that person.”

Xiao paused, stopping his spear in mid-air to remember something (Y/N) had said last night.

“It was horrible. A group of bandits were threatening my family. At first, I didn’t know what to do, but then I remembered something very important.” She spoke while walking alongside Xiao by the shore. Xiao stopped walking as he continued listening to the (H/C) haired girl.

“I remembered that I had a home. It wasn’t the best home that other people could think of, but I knew deep down that all of those kids needed me. They’re the ones that I love and I... I wanted to keep that. I wanted to protect them all from the dangerous world. So with that... I... I let the bandits kidnap me and sell me as a slave.” She smiled, but it was a different type of smile. It was a very somber smile.

Xiao was trying to register the emotions that he was feeling. He watched as she continued to keep up a brave front and as she continued to tell her story. “One of the noblemen in Liyue had passed by the slave carriage and had purchased me with his filthy mora. I was sold as a slave and this group of men began to... hurt me... in different ways. One day, one of the men had ridiculed my family and I became... very furious. There was no other way to escape but I continued to throw the rest of my words at him. It was all I had left to fight with. That’s when he decided to...” the girl had found it difficult to continue talking.

In the middle of her words, she couldn’t help but cry.

It was a very natural thing for humans to do.

Right there, she cried in front of Xiao, slowly losing the energy to stand up and just sat down with her knees to her chest. 

“I can’t forget the pain they’ve caused me. I’ve gone through so much abuse that I’ve forgotten what all of the other emotions felt like. It’s been so long since I had seen daylight, and by the time I was able to see the sky, it was on my wedding day...” She wept softly, her voice cracking. Xiao bent down, not knowing what to do. 

“I did what I had to do to escape. I had to poison him. Then in that very moment, I fled the ceremony. I ran as fast as I could to escape and I climbed further than I thought was humanly possible. In the end, I was able to reach the highest point of all of Liyue in the floating shrine above Qingyun Peak and right there... I found only peace. The world felt still at that moment. I couldn’t hear anything and couldn’t find the energy to think about the hardships I had overcome. If I had died then and there, it would have granted my selfish wish.” (Y/N) sniffed, burying her tears against her sleeves.

So this was the freedom she was talking about on the first day that they met.

Again, Xiao’s body begun to move on its own. He had slowly wrapped his arms around the shaking girl. She looked like she could shatter so easily. Someone so frail, yet someone so strong. A mortal that could continue fighting on, managing to survive after all of that. Xiao felt his heart beating a little bit faster once he made contact with the crying girl. If he could look in his reflection, what kind of face would he be making right now?

“Everything... will be alright. I’m right here for you.” He quietly murmured, digging his face into her neck as he embraced her completely. (Y/N) had been strong enough. She slowly brought her arms up to Xiao and hugged back.

Her (E/C) colored eyes shimmered as she tightened her hold. Her mouth quivered, then she felt her breath draw disoriented.

She bawled. Almost like a newborn baby. She shed many tears, it would be enough to fill a river. She clung to Xiao like it was the last thing she could ever hold. Xiao was enveloped in her warmth. This was different than him holding onto her when she was falling in the air. Now the time they’ve spent together had felt more special than before. He was a man of very few words, but his actions can tell a whole story. The young adepti comforted the (H/C) haired girl, not knowing what this emotion was in his chest.

“I’ll protect you, (Y/N). I won’t let those bastards lay a hand on you anymore.” Xiao promised, his heart tightening when hearing the girl weep. Hearing that some awful humans could do this to an angelic person had made him swear vengeance. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to wipe away her tears and hold her in his arms. He wanted to cherish her and make her smile.

He wanted to love her.

He wanted to be the one to make sure that she received all of the love she deserved. Xiao pulled away, missing the Qingxin fragrance she radiated. He looked at her with determined eyes, kneeling on one knee and one Qingxin flower on the other.

“(Y/N)... I swear that I’ll protect you. I’ll curse anyone who dares to stand in your way.” He spoke with conviction. Xiao has never knelt down to a mortal before. He knew exactly what the repercussions would be if he betrays his loyalty for his archon.

Xiao didn’t care anymore.

He wanted to be with (Y/N).

“(Y/N)... I--”

“Xiaooo? Are you there?” Caihong hollered, standing in front of Xiao. The young man had snapped his head out of the clouds. He looked down to see the little handful of a child looking at him ever so daringly. Out of all of the kids, he was the only one that was brave enough to mess with him.

“What is it, boy?” Xiao questioned as he stabbed his spear to the side, causing it to disappear in thin air. Caihong still awed in amazement from a very strange sight, but then shook his head. “(Y/N) wanted me to tell you that she needed some more Qingxin flowers to treat the injured kids she found. Since she has a lot of things to do, she was wondering if you could collect some for her.” Caihong told the young adepti his orders from (Y/N).

His eyes softened when he mentioned her name. 

(Y/N)...

He looked into the distance where he could see (Y/N) taking care of the young ones. She grinned cheerfully towards the children, then making eye contact with Xiao. To think that she was the same girl that had broken down in his arms that very night...

(Y/N) is stronger than she looks.

Xiao smiled.

Caihong couldn’t believe his eyes. The stern and serious man was able to smile??

“Xiao! You’re smiling!” Caihong shouted in disbelief. Were his eyes deceiving him? The young demon had stopped staring at (Y/N) and ruffled the boy’s hair. “I’m not smiling. Your eyes are deceiving you.” He spoke, denying that he was able to make such a facial expression.

“Oi! Don’t ignore me and pretend that I’m not here! Let go of my hair!” He cried out, shooing the adepti’s hands away from his head. The boy has never seen Xiao like this before. Perhaps a grumpy guy like Xiao really did need someone as bright as (Y/N). Caihong’s eyes lit up, remembering something important. “Oh yeah! (Y/N) said that she has something important to tell you tonight! I think she’s going to prepare her special almond tofu dish for you!” He happily exclaimed.

Xiao nodded, wondering what that would taste like. Well, if it’s anything that (Y/N) prepares, he’ll have no choice but to like it.

Maybe this is what happiness felt like.

In the past, Xiao wasn’t allowed to imagine things. The evil archon forbade it. Pondering and creating scenarios in his head wasn’t something he couldn’t do often, but he couldn’t help but think of her. 

He thought about what the girl had said about marriage. Would she be happy if he said he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life with her?

As he made his way to get prepared to collect Qingxin flowers, he couldn’t help smiling to himself the entire way.

✦

Qingxin flowers can be found at any high point in the lands of Liyue. Xiao had no trouble leaping towards high spots in the air. For once, he had enabled his demonic form for something that wouldn’t cause bloodshed. He allowed his demonic form to make him lighter as he continued to collect the translucent white flowers that blossomed at his touch. Although he had felt a little bit of pain from maintaining this form, he knew that (Y/N) would be back at home to take care of him again.

With (Y/N)’s contrasting approach to life, the world seemed to become a bit... brighter. Xiao no longer drowned out all of the sounds to his ears as he did on the battlefield. For once, he allowed himself to hear the chirps of the birds and watch cranes fly above peacefully. 

Yes, yes! That was the word!

Peace.

He was able to find peace.

It was all because of (Y/N). He was able to allow more room for growth. She let him realize that maybe a part of him really was human. Xiao had held the Qingxin flowers tighter, thinking about the very significant mortal he looked after every day. Maybe he should get something special for her today.

He couldn’t get the thought of her out of her head. Especially after last night.

How could he tell her how he felt?

The way she makes him feel warm was different than any ordinary blaze.

The way she tells him with determined eyes that even he deserves a home.

The way that she somehow got the children to enjoy his company and make him feel like there are more things in life worth protecting.

The way she smiles so fearlessly in the face of danger.

He wanted to protect it all.

He wanted to protect her.

“Enjoying yourself?” a voice came from behind.

Xiao immediately dropped everything he was holding and withdrawn his jade spear in an instant. He pointed his weapon at the voice, only to realize that it was the evil archon himself. The young demon took a step back, “What are you doing here?” he spoke with a contentious tone.

This archon right here... Xiao never noticed this before, but he could feel the heinous aura that filled the atmosphere. Something about this random encounter with his puppeteer felt sinister.

“I’m just here to observe your journey. I’ve watched you from afar and seen you acting abnormally. Have you perhaps fallen in love yet?” The archon inquired, leaning in to detect if the young demon would react in any way. At the moment, Xiao was a bit hesitant to answer his question. If anything, he began to question why he continued to obey this archon’s evildoings. What if something he said would bring danger to (Y/N)?

If he says yes, the archon might be able to let him go and free him of his duties. No. That’s just him trying to be optimistic. There’s a high chance that the archon could use that as leverage against him as well.

“No. I have not.” Xiao answered, glaring with threatening eyes.

The evil archon chuckled, “Is that so?” as he began to burst out in laughter.

Xiao was a bit unnerved from hearing the evil archon laughing hysterically. Looking for a way out, he grabbed the flowers that he had been collecting when all of a sudden he felt a stinging pain in his abdomen. Xiao choked out blood, feeling his body being pushed against the grass.  His jade spear was summoned without his permission and had been pierced through his body. 

“Liar.”

The black haired man remembered this pain as he winced at the sharp object that’s causing his crimson blood to spill out of his stomach. He hissed at the discomfort the wound is giving him and he raised his head, daring to look at the archon in the eyes.

“Oh my. I knew this was a good idea from the start but I didn’t think it would turn out this good.” The archon brought his hand to pull up Xiao’s chin. 

“You love that girl, don’t you?”

Xiao’s amber eyes widened in realization. He knew where this was going.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” He shouted with anger seething out of his attitude.

The evil archon smirked at his puppet. “Don’t worry. I won’t lay a hand on her,” he chuckled, looking down at the young demon that was beneath his feet. “but I know they will.”

Xiao writhed under the pressure of his spear that pierced him. He needed to escape. He needed to get out. He needed to go to her.

“My my! What has gotten into you, my puppet? Since when did you start to think about the lives of mortals that you’ve been slaying this entire time? What makes her different from the rest, hmm?”

“She shows no mortal arrogation! She’s not selfish nor filthy like the others!” He retorted with conviction in his voice.

“Who gave you the right to feel this way? Think about it. After all of the times you’ve slaughtered those innocent people, you’re nothing but a murderer.”

“You ordered me to do it! I had no other choice but to obey!”

“You had free will, did you not? At any time, you could have easily stopped your killings and put an end to everything yourself. It’s all your fault. You did this to yourself.”

“You’re wrong!”

“So are you saying that you’re right?”

Xiao paused, refusing to show his face to his archon. 

“I’m saying that you’re quite adept at manipulating people. It doesn’t matter what you think of me. I know that (Y/N) will still be by my side.”

“How can you be so sure? Have you even told her what you’ve done to the parents of the children she’s taking care of? Do you think that she’ll just accept you because in the end, you found a way to hide your past instead of confronting her about it? Of course not. She’s a human, and you’re a demon. You two are nothing alike, and because of that, you’ll never find a way to truly be close to her. You’re an atrocious monstrosity.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re delusional, boy. There’s nowhere else for you to go where anyone can accept you. Once that girl, (Y/N), catches the wind of the truth, it’s over for you.” 

The evil archon stepped off of the adepti, causing Xiao to gasp for air. He was slowly weakening. His fingertips touched the liquid that protruded out of his stomach.

Damn it. His weapon was laced with poison.

Xiao felt helpless as he laid on the grass on top of the mountain. All ounces of energy he had was now depleting at a fast rate. Out of frustration, he took a handful of Qingxin flowers and clenched it to his stomach.

“Ah, this is the Qingxin flower. It grows on only the highest peaks of Liyue and can serve as a remedy for some injuries.”

Xiao could remember her words as if it was yesterday.

(Y/N)...

Black dots danced around his vision as the last thing he saw in his sight was the smirk of the evil archon. After his final attempt to fight against the poison, his body had refused to keep up with him, causing him to lose consciousness.

✦

Bit by bit, Xiao’s eyes opened up. For once in his lifetime, he had dreamt a dream. He squinted, trying to see if he was seeing correctly. The gaping hole in his stomach was no longer there. Bloodstains remained in his clothing as proof of his encounter with the evil archon.

Xiao urgently got up from his fallen state and could see the sun fall setting in its place. His fists clenched the Qingxin flower that had once prospered greatly on its own. Its white color was tainted, no longer pure. Crimson smeared the edges of the petals as it slowly wilted.

Was he regenerating faster because he had more power?

Nevermind that. Xiao couldn’t afford to lose another second. Who knows what could have happened to (Y/N) during the time that the young demon had been passed out. He was quick with his feet, leaping off of the summit of the mountain with the thoughts of the (H/C) haired girl filling his thoughts.

He clenched his teeth.

He should have known that the evil archon was merely using him.

If it weren’t for (Y/N) to guide him to his morals, he definitely would not be where he was right now.

Xiao felt his stomach twisting. This time, he was able to distinguish it as an emotion. It wasn’t a physical pain caused on the outside, but the unsettling feeling that lets him know that something is wrong.

His instinct was more than correct.

In the distance, he could already see smoke releasing into the air. Combustions and explosions can be heard, along with very familiar cries that he has heard before.

“Kids of war need a happier childhood, so I decided to be the one to look after them. As the oldest orphan, I felt like I had a duty to fulfill.”

No.

Xiao used his lemniscatic wind cycling to lunge forward in mid-air, then proceeding to dive down and make an impact with the ground. He shifted his eyes hastily, many bodies of children to be mercilessly killed. The kids that he had surrounded himself with during his time with (Y/N) were all slaughtered. She cared for them. She put her time and energy spending it all on the young ones rather than looking after her health. Xiao’s grip tightened around his polearm.

“Loss? Well... Loss is when you realize that something you loved is no longer with you.”

He clenched onto the hem of his robe.

 “It’s something irreplaceable and you’ll find yourself grieving over it for a long while.”

Xiao had quickly sifted through the debris of the broken down house. The blazes had raged, mocking the young demon in a taunting way. Bits of ash had already flaked through the air. The pyre had devoured his line of sight.

“Well... love is when you cherish something so dearly. It’s when you have a special connection between you and another person.”

His breathing had stopped. This can’t be. 

“When you become so used to that, it’s like something you feel like you have to protect it no matter the cost.”

His blood ran cold. He felt asphyxiated.

(Y/N) was dead.

(Y/N) was dead.

(Y/N) was dead.

(Y/N) WAS DEAD.

A nobleman had walked into view, smirking as he saw a leftover orphan who he assumed was the last one they were looking for. “Hey, boys! We missed one right here.” The man with blood splattered across his rich attire spoke with arrogance. “That bitch should’ve realized who she was messing with when she poisoned me during the ceremony. I guess that’s just what happens when you buy a cheap slut in the market. Let’s finish this last one up and then drinks are on me.” The man had blurted with cockiness. The nobleman pulled his sword out of a lifeless boy’s body, kicking it towards Xiao like a ragdoll. It was... Caihong.

The young man’s breathing had hitched. 

He felt his ears ringing.

His hair covered his glowing amber eyes as he stared at (Y/N)’s lifeless body.

Xiao went numb. 

His heartbeat was the only thing he could hear and it was hammering against his ribcage like it was about to burst.

“What’s death? Well... death is what makes life worth living. It tells us that we have a certain timeframe to do everything we ever wanted to accomplish. It’s inevitable, and in some cases, different forms of life end sooner than expected. Most often, we lose someone we love so much during the process, making us feel all sorts of emotions. That’s just what makes us human.” (Y/N) had beamed, looking at the vast sky. She turned to lean her head on Xiao’s shoulder.

“Especially you, Xiao. You might not know yourself very well, but I can just tell.” She hummed in delight.

Xiao cocked his eyebrow, “What does that mean?” he asked with a puzzled look.

(Y/N) smiled into his shoulder, catching him off guard once more.

“You’re human. Just like me.”

A monstrous gust of wind had discharged where the adepti once stood. Xiao’s demonic form had materialized in a blink of an eye. The men that had terrorized his home had been knocked off their feet, meeting an intense force that propelled their bodies against the dirt of Teyvat. With their confusion, they tried to see where the assault came from and had realized that the young man that stood before him was a force that should not be reckoned with.

Xiao had flashed past the group of men, rapidly puncturing his spear between all of their hamstring muscles behind their knees, ensuring that none of them could ever walk again. Many of them writhed in agony from the jade spear that had still been laced with poison.

“What the hell was that?!”

“My legs! I can’t get up!”

The young demon had swiftly teleported behind the largest guy in the group and had grabbed a hold of his entire face with his gloved hands. Xiao then proceeded to bring his spear to pierce the center of his neck. Crimson liquid had spewed and sprayed from the bandit’s neck as he gargled on his own blood. Still seeing that he was alive and conscious, Xiao demonstrated his inhuman strength by lifting the man’s body and tossing it up in the sky. Violence plagued his mind as he lacerated the man with thousands of cuts in a single second, the demon maneuvering perfectly in the air before dismembering the man entirely. As the body parts separated, the large clots of blood had sprinkled the atmosphere like rain. 

Finally, Xiao teleports right above the mutilated masterpiece as he spiraled down towards the ground, erupting a treacherous impact that would inflict true agony. Not only was the man pierced by Xiao’s jaded spear, but he was also spiked by the shadow fragments of all of the times he’s ruthlessly murdered other polearm users. 

This was no force to be going up against.

This is true fear.

With this mask, Xiao remembered just why he had detested mortals so much.

“No! Stop! It hurts!” One of the men begged for mercy as Xiao had just begun. He dashed towards the bandit and coiled into a form of wind, opening up his stomach with a clean cut. The black haired man with teal undertones teleported behind the man, bending his arm in an unnatural way until it snapped. The audible crunch could be heard by everyone there, allowing them to freely imagine what their doom would be like. The man coughed in his own blood, but that didn’t stop Xiao from holding his arms from behind his back and kicking the back of the bandit’s torso. Choking in blood, the bandit couldn’t scream for help as his organs helplessly collapsed out of his body. Dumping the body to the side, he heavily breathed in and out.

This was a different type of hatred that resided within his entirety.

The animosity that radiated through the adepti’s mask was evident as it glowed darkly. One by one, Xiao had performed cruel acts towards the sinners that wreaked havoc on his home. Whether it was plucking their eyes out or bashing all of their bones, Xiao couldn’t find a resolution to his resentment.

All that was left was the nobleman that had forced (Y/N) into an arranged marriage. The thought of such filth laying even a finger on his (Y/N) was more than enough to greet the tip of his spear. Xiao looked down at the mortal that cowered beneath him. Emotions are fickle in the face of danger.

“Stop don’t do this! I can pay you ten times the price I paid for that slave! I can give all of the mora you ever want! Please just spare me!” The prideless man begged as he couldn’t feel his legs at all. Xiao stepped on the man’s torso, his piercing amber gaze had been strong enough alone to silence the sinner. The demon’s dark aura increased as Xiao collected his distributed rage into his jade spear. 

“Your mora can’t even compare to (Y/N). Not even in the slightest.” Xiao’s spear was enchanting as it collected stacks of power from the built up anger. The adepti stomped on one of the nobleman’s kneecaps, an audible crunch filling the air. He screamed at the top of his lungs, feeling the excruciating pain throughout his entire body. Xiao wanted to make his death as long as possible. Even if the man were to pass out, the demon could slip some of his corrupted aura into his bloodstream to ensure he stays awake.

The young man grabbed a hold of the nobleman’s wrist, shattering the bones in his arm completely. Another defenseless howl erupted from the shameless man. Xiao remembered (Y/N) saying that they had hurt her in various ways, even those that she couldn’t bring herself to say. The thought of the group of bandits exploiting the pure girl had driven him to the brink of no return.

“You won’t be needing these anymore.” The man wailed in agony as Xiao dislocated the joints in the nobleman’s fingers. With his spear, he had begun cutting off each and every finger of his at an antagonizing pace. His screams weren’t enough to satisfy him.

Xiao ripped off the man’s arm in one effortless pull.

Another scream.

The demon looked down at the human in disgust. Why were so many mortals so repulsive? The jade spear he had was stabbed in the man’s chest, but not all the way. He made an incision that was thin enough for Xiao to open up the skin of the man’s torso. Without any hesitation, the adepti bent open the nobleman’s ribcage in the most unnatural way.

“Please... s..stop.” The bandit pleaded.

“You didn’t stop when she told you to. Hypocrites like you must rot.”

The polearm user gutted out the rest of the organs that were left in the man’s body.

“You deserve this.”

He punctured one of the man’s eyes with one of his thumbs.

“You don’t have the right to live.”

Xiao clenched his teeth, going back to think about (Y/N).

Seeing her lifeless body near one of the burning houses. It... It evoked true calamity from the young adepti.

“You took her away from me.”

Xiao summoned his charged spear from thin air. The nobleman was disfigured already. His body was beyond recognition after what Xiao had done to him. Yet, it still wasn’t enough.

The young adepti clenched onto his jade spear, “N̶̻̽ő̸̘̠w̸̗̖͗ ̴̲̓I̴̝̓’̸̗̭̾̽m̵̩̤͠ ̸̺͒͜g̷̛̳͍̈́o̵̮͒i̴͉̕͘n̶͎͗g̸̦̺̀̂ ̶͔̫͛t̷̯̓͊o̵̻̽̓ ̷̹͖͌̕t̴͍̚a̸͙͝k̵̯͝ẹ̶̒ ̷͕̈̏ė̸̜͜͝v̸͕̲̆ế̶͚̪ŕ̸̢͕ỳ̷̺t̸̥̆h̴̹̠͌̇ḯ̵̫̙n̶̜̉g̵͙̮̋̏ ̴̧͈́̂ȧ̸̬̗w̵̤͇̄á̵̺̣ŷ̵̢͘ ̴̞̂͌ͅf̷͎͐r̶͉͕̈́o̸͙͠m̷̖͚̿ ̴̯͓̈̉ỳ̶͖̂o̴̬̾u̴̖̔͝,̸̢̐͘ ̶̹̏s̷̜̑̀ţ̷̌a̸̯̽̂r̸̗̄͝ṭ̷̈́͠ḭ̴͆n̸̘̈́g̶̭͂ ̵̦̱͋̚w̷̺̉į̷̻̾̅t̴̜̿̇h̶̞͖̍ ̴̜͐̚��ỵ̶̓o̴̥̗̿͐ụ̴́r̶̖͂͂ ̸̬͊̊d̶̙̬͌̕r̴̮̒̕e̸͜͝ͅa̷̲̓m̴̻͆s̶̲̐” he growled with bitterness. The polearm user slowly hunched over the mangled human, preparing to remove his mask to begin devouring the man’s dreams when all of a sudden he heard something in the distance.

All movement stopped.

Xiao heard someone calling out his name.

Snapped out of his bloodthirsty trance, he pulled his head up.

“(Y/N)?”

He paused, stalling the death of (Y/N)’s capturer. He couldn’t tell if he was hallucinating or not. 

“Xiao!”

The young man dropped everything he was doing. That filth is going to die anyway. The most important thing right now is trying to look for (Y/N). He stood up from the bloodied body and had staggered towards the direction the (H/C) haired girl was.

He felt his rage settling down as he began to search for that gentle voice. The soothing hums of (Y/N) could be heard from behind one of the stone pillars that had collapsed next to the body of the young girl.

Xiao rushed towards (Y/N)’s body. He pulled her into his embrace, trying to see if he could get any reaction. Something. Anything that could tell him that she was alive. A part of him wished that he could feel her arms rise up and hug him back.

He pulled away and slowly checked her heart by lowering his ear against her chest. The anticipation for the young adepti was torture. Time moved slowly as he sharpened his hearing.

One second passed.

Xiao’s grip on the girl grew tighter.

Two seconds passed.

He felt the world crumbling beneath his feet.

Three seconds passed.

“Please...”

Four seconds passed.

Xiao lifted his head from her chest and stared at her soft features. She still looked gorgeous. It was like he was seeing the girl again for the first time. On the day that he fell for her, he didn’t realize he would fall this hard.

He froze in place.

There was a subtle movement in her fingertips. Xiao’s amber eyes had shone light in itself once more. The (H/C) haired girl let out a cough, slowly shifting out of place. “X...Xi..ao..?” she weakly whispered with wincing eyes. The gash on her head was a very dangerous cut. The adepti felt alleviated. Relief washed over him as he held the girl tightly while burying his face into her soft (H/C) hair. The girl couldn’t see very well, but she could never mistake Xiao for anyone else. Slowly her frail arms wrapped themselves around Xiao’s body.

“Welcome home.” She whispered shakily with little strength behind her voice.

Xiao didn’t know how to express how grateful he was to see her still alive. He had thought that he had lost all hope. “I’m home, (Y/N). I’m back at home...” He sniffed, not realizing that he had been tearing up this entire time. (Y/N)’s eyes couldn’t properly see it, but she could feel that his heart was aching.

She brought her thumb to his cheek, wiping the tear that threatened to spill on his face. Something in his chest had felt like it was suffocating him as he saw (Y/N) in this current state. 

Xiao’s heart... hurt. She did the same exact motion on his cheek when they first met.

Hurt?

How many times has he finally discovered the words behind the meaningful things he couldn’t describe today?

So this is what she meant by he was hurting. All of a sudden, Xiao was able to understand everything now. He was able to feel his emotions. Him of all people. The demon slayer that slaughtered innocents. All of the burdens he didn’t realize he had on his back had suddenly begun to tumble onto him.

This was very painful to watch.

(Y/N) was dying in front of him.

He knew exactly what was going to happen. On the battlefield, it was all the same thing. Death by killing, death by injuries, and to those who are caught up in the middle of it all. Xiao knew this all too well and he was holding onto his significant mortal. He scoped around the burnt down place they had called home and had hissed at himself for failing to save the little ones. Their lifeless facial expressions were frozen in fear and anguish. Xiao protected (Y/N) from witnessing the horrible sight behind him by draping his long robe to block her vision.

He needed to find another way to protect her.

She was going to end up like one of them too if he didn’t.

She was going to wind up in the same inevitable fate that all humans face when they meet their end.

“Remember when I said I... I was going to tell you something, Xiao?” The fragile girl voiced out, hands trying to navigate where the young adepti’s hands were. “I have a surprise for you... but we have to go to the Foundation of Plaustrite” she muttered, closing her eyes, a bit exhausted than she thought she would be.

The blood that dripped down the side of her head had most likely resulted from a severe concussion. Not only that, but the large cut in her abdomen was alarmingly frightening to the young adepti.

The demon was trembling, “But you’re extremely injured. You need treatment.” he twinged at the thought of (Y/N) leaving him again. A part of him felt like if he didn’t do anything now, (Y/N) would die easily to her injuries. Of course, the young demon would see it like that. He had forgotten that he had stronger regenerative abilities than the average human.

“Please. It’s my final wish.” (Y/N) prayed quietly. She attempted to open her eyes but stopped when Xiao covered her eyes with his own hands. “Don’t open your eyes.” He advised.

Xiao hesitated, afraid that he might accidentally hurt her if he picked her up wrong. There’s no way that he could reject her request. Haltingly, he bent down to carry the girl in his arms in one full sweep. He no longer felt tired. He felt as if he was granted all of the strength he needed in all of the lands of Teyvat.

“Is this comfortable?” 

“...In your arms? Always.”

The black haired man with teal undertones carried the girl with ease. Before parting ways with their home, he looked back at those who had wronged (Y/N). Their bodies are now beyond recognition. As a man who’ll do anything to protect what was his, he had decided to leave the dead men behind like it was nothing.

Seeing (Y/N) breathing again was enough for him to calm down.

“...What happened to the children?” The (H/C) haired girl asked. A gruesome image flashed into Xiao’s head when mentioned. “They’re in a better place. I made sure that they’re comfortable in their new home.” He lied through his teeth. He wanted to spare her feelings.

“...What about the... bandits?” (Y/N) showed a hint of worry. The only thing he could think of was the way he had eliminated every last one of them. “They were also taken care of. I decided to go easy on them.” Xiao lied once more.

(Y/N) appreciated the thought of the young man attempting to keep her hopes protected from what just happened. The smell of iron was already enough to tell her what happened at their home.

Slowly, he began to walk towards their destination. Along the way, he couldn’t help but notice the girl continuing to hum as she was on death’s door. Xiao’s eyes never left the sight of (Y/N). If he didn’t, then it would feel like she could vanish without a trace.

“Xiao?”

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“...Have I ever told you how much color you’ve brought into my world?” She wistfully breathed.

The man ascended a trail that made its way up. Paying attention to (Y/N) at the same time, he wore a composed face.

“No, you haven’t,” he replied with a gentle voice. He had to stay strong. Strong for (Y/N).

“Really? I thought I told you before... but maybe it was all a dream.” (Y/N) shut her eyes. The moment between both of them had felt so serene. “I remember telling you all about the new recipe I had prepared. There was also a time where I gave you a Qingxin flower crown... Did you like it?” She asked as her thoughts were jumping everywhere. She was barely conscious, but she still managed to voice out all of her silly concerns.

Xiao didn’t have a clue about what she was talking about. When imagining those random scenarios in his head, he could only pretend like he had experienced that all with her.

“Yes. I liked it a lot.” He went along with what she was saying.

“I see. That makes me very happy.”

Xiao hoisted her in his arms bridal style again, making sure that he doesn’t harm her. Even now, (Y/N) looked so angelic in his arms. The blood that dried up around her body smelled like iron.

“You know... sometimes I feel like meeting you was too good to be true. A dream, even.” (Y/N) rambled freely, pushing her head against Xiao’s chest.

His grip on the girl grew tighter, “I could say the same thing for you too. You don’t understand how much you’ve taught me how colorful the world was.” he pressed her head as close as he could to his neck as he made his way up the mountain.

“Hey... Do you know what the difference between ‘I like you’ and ‘I love you’?” (Y/N) weakly inquired.

Xiao didn’t know how to reply.

“It’s like flowers... When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily.” The girl told the adepti. He grabbed one of (Y/N)’s hands to hold, keeping his warmth closer to him.

“...If you were a Qingxin flower... I would gladly water you every day.” (Y/N) confessed as she began to lose her train of thought.

Xiao’s heart skipped a beat. No one has ever expressed their concern to him before.

She was able to genuinely say that to Xiao with confidence. Her devotion stayed true to him until the end. Her tender touch was enough to tell him that everything was going to be okay, even when he knew damn well that it wasn’t going to be. Xiao wanted to surpass this new and unknown obstacle. He wanted to continue watching over (Y/N) and make sure that she gets all of the love that she deserved.

Xiao leaped onto the floating platforms that lead up to the floating shrine.

This was where he had first met (Y/N).

The setting stayed the same, along with the way the sky was painted similarly as before. This time, it was all different.

Xiao was able to comprehend his mortal emotions.

(Y/N) wanted to live.

Their pasts would contrast with their present now.

“We’re here...” Xiao whispered to his beloved.

The adepti carefully set the frail girl to lean against the stone seat. The warm hues reached her eyelids as she could feel the rays of light shine on her. Xiao had sat down beside her, no longer keeping a distance from her like back then. He couldn’t find the heart to act coldly towards her. Steadily, he stared off into the sunset. It was the same as before.

“It’s so warm here.” (Y/N) noted out loud, resting her head against Xiao’s shoulder. A part of him wanted time to freeze at this moment so he could spend the rest of his life with (Y/N). He felt his heart finding the moment to find momentary peace. If there was a god out there that could stop the entire universe, Xiao would trade anything he had to spend all of the time he could with the girl he held dear to.

“Do you want to know where your surprise is?” (Y/N) softly spoke, her strength dissipating.

The young demon grabbed a hold of one of (Y/N)’s hands. “Where is it?” He asked with a lump in his throat. He could tell in her tone of voice that she was already departing to the other side.

“My little surprise is in that book on the stone slab of this place. There’s a Qingxin flower as a bookmarker so it won’t be that difficult to find. You can go read it now if you want.”

“No.” Xiao clutched her hand.

“I wish to spend the rest of your time with you.” He declared quietly, not wanting to think of anything else. The intrusion of dark thoughts could no longer reach him up here. There was only peace.

(Y/N) hummed, “I see.” as she twiddled with Xiao’s bigger hand. Without thinking, the girl had slid her fingers between his palm, entwining fingers.

“Xiao... I think meeting you was...a serendipitous encounter... We both weren’t anticipating to end up like this. When we both met, we were both looking for something. There’s never been a time where I regretted being with you.” (Y/N) smiled with tranquility as her truth.

The adepti’s heart stung by her sweet yet bitter words.

“You don’t regret being with a demon like me?” He slipped out, throwing out a side of him that he never showed to (Y/N). He was afraid of rejection. What if she really despised him because of what he’s done?

(Y/N) let out a gracious laugh, “You’re not a demon, silly... You’re just as human like me. That’s all there is to it. You’re just like me, Xiao.” she indulged him by embracing him with one last hug.

“I don’t know who told you that but I know for a fact that you’re not a demon. If anything, you’ve acted like a guardian towards me. I value you very much and I wouldn’t want to hear you say otherwise.”

Xiao was amazed at what lengths (Y/N) would go for him. He was never used to her close contact, but for these last moments, he couldn’t help but wanting to savor it all. No one has ever told him that he was someone worth being cared for. They all only looked at him like a weapon of war. With the hands of his, (Y/N) saw it as inviting rather than dangerous.

(Y/N) was definitely different from the rest.

Xiao’s amber eyes had already started to tear up. This was an unfamiliar mental state that he was in. Never had he ever thought that he would make it this far to understand human emotions. Xiao was always a well guarded person who would always distance himself from anyone getting near him and yet...

(Y/N) was always there.

The sentimental words have reached the young adepti. He no longer felt ashamed for expressing how he felt. A slip of a tear fell from his cheek, “(Y/N)..?” he called out again to make sure she was still there.

“...Yes... Xiao?” She replied slowly.

Xiao tugged her closer to him. No one in the world could make him resort to these human senses of him. He only wanted to stay by her side and her side only. 

“I love you.”

(Y/N) pulled away from his hug and saw his somber yet grateful facial expressions. Now that she could see his entire face, she realized she couldn’t put up her strong front anymore.

She began to cry, realizing the weight of their situation.

“I... love you too.”

Xiao felt something that he had forgotten he had in his pocket. Curious as to what it was, he pulled it out and realized it was the flower crown that (Y/N) was talking about.

Had he always have this in his pocket? Where did this come from?

He went back in his thoughts to try to remember where he got this from. All he could remember was that he had felt this object in his pocket after his dream earlier that day.

The black haired young man with teal undertones had carefully knelt down in front of her. With one hand, he grabbed (Y/N)’s other ones as he placed a soft kiss on top. It almost felt like he was a knight preparing to give his vows.

“(Y/N). There’s been a question I’ve always pondered to ask of you. I’m not very sure if we can make do with what little time we have remaining, but I’d appreciated it if you allowed me to have the opportunity.” Xiao started, feeling the girl’s tender gaze upon him. “From the day we’ve met, I had only thought about how foolish mortals were. There was a part of me that refused to take a part in opening up to a newer side of the world. I was more than afraid if you were going to shut me out entirely. I’m just a shell of a sinner... It almost feels morally wrong to even stand near you. But that all had shifted once you sat down next to me under the starry night sky. You were the only one who could change my perspective, and I am eternally grateful for how you’ve healed me.”

He swallowed. What was he saying? He was a bit doubtful if he worded his sentences correctly but he had no choice but to continue.

“...I can’t imagine growing old with anyone else, nor do I want to. When I think about you, I know that no one will hold my heart the same way you do. With you by my side, I feel at peace, and when you’re gone, I’m constantly looking for a way to get closer to you. I’m sure that you’ve had bad memories of this, but I’d like to overwrite those memories with something genuine... (Y/N)... Will you marry me?” Xiao confessed with sincere, heartfelt words. His heartbeat seemed to synchronize at the same time as (Y/N)’s. The atmosphere never felt so enchanting than now. Time was running out for both of them. 

The weakened girl in front of him had no words to say other than yes. Instead of accepting the flower crown that he had held in his grasp, she had caressed the adepti with both of her hands on each side of Xiao’s face. They both met each other’s eyes. His amber ones looking into her (E/C) orbs, perhaps asking for permission before he could continue. (Y/N) slowly nodded, blushing when Xiao had finally leaned forward and had pressed a gentle kiss against the girl’s soft lips.

It was all but peaceful.

Finally.

Xiao was able to get these feelings off of his chest. He gazed at the sunset once more before he picked up (Y/N) again and sat her against the stone bench where he held her by the waist.

“I’m... feeling... tired...” The girl had said with complete honesty.

Xiao couldn’t help but feel pity when he saw his lover. She was deteriorating faster than he would’ve imagined. It was like he was watching another Qingxin flower lose its petals. She slowly hummed again, a harmonious tune that would ingrain into Xiao’s memories.

“Are you... afraid of death?” The adepti watched with attentive eyes. As someone who inflicted death among others, it would certainly be a different experience if he had asked someone who was about to go through it.

(Y/N) shook her head. “...When I’m with you...? Never. I’m not... afraid.” She wheezed a little bit, leaning her head on Xiao’s shoulder once more. Although time was running out, she kept wearing her brave smile as she fell drowsier.

“...Smile... for... me?” (Y/N)’s voice ran out as she was clinging onto life for as long as she could. Her final wish.

Xiao’s most difficult task to do. During this time as he watched everything he had developed with this girl slowly bloom throughout his heart. From all the times they’ve stayed up watching after the kids and talked until the dead of the night. Through the harsh rains and cold days, Xiao would continue to stand by her side. It was something worth protecting. He was given a reason to continue on with a more fulfilling purpose. She had given it all to him with open arms.

He trembled, but continued to wipe his tears. Taking a deep breath, he blocked out all of the worst thoughts that could flow into his head. He had to do it for her now. He has to answer her prayers.

There he was. The man that had worn his composed and calm features had been able to send (Y/N) one last smile. His lips quivered as he attempted to hold a brave front. He has to commend (Y/N) for having that special ability. The (H/C) haired girl shut her eyes. Yes... This was all she ever wanted.

She never felt so free until now. The freedom that she had always wanted was now granted to her.

The adepti had endured the last bits of time he could spend with her. With the way that (Y/N) grinned with no regrets, he felt the seconds going by like hours.  This was all he could do for her now.

...So this was love.

What a strong emotion. No wonder why mortals fight for what they believe in. Before he met her, he was just an empty husk with no concept of what it takes to be human. Now that (Y/N) showed him the ways of how life could be spent, it would be the end of her journey.

It was just two companions that were dreaming alongside each other. Two contrasting people that come from two different backgrounds. No matter how far he came with her, he couldn’t help but notice what solitude truly was when something he cherished was now gone.

Xiao just wanted to remain with her until her final moments.

Before Xiao could completely doze off, he planted the well-crafted Qingxin crown on (Y/N)’s head, gently planting a kiss on her forehead, bidding his reluctant farewell.

“Goodnight, (Y/N).” He whispered to her for the last time, fulfilling her first request he hadn’t answered in the beginning. The lump in his throat was building up his regret, remembering how he promised to kill her so she would be put to rest and be free. He didn’t know how badly he wanted to go back in time and convince her to fight and live on.

He shut his eyes, not recognizing how hard it is to let go. He couldn’t envision the idea of her leaving him behind until now. After she had held onto his hand for so long, it seems that the last chapters of (Y/N)’s life has come to an end. The adepti pressed his forehead against (Y/N)’s, hoping that his words could somehow reach her. It was thanks to her, he was able to live like he was alive. He shut his eyes tightly, praying that somehow he could reach out to her again. 

“...I’ll miss you dearly, my love.”

✦

-=+=-

Epilogue | Adeptus’ Retirement

(Y/N) had always known.

She knew that Xiao was a weapon of war.

When searching around remnants of fallen towns to take care of more children, some wandering travelers would tell rumors of the demon that would ruthlessly kill thousands. (Y/N) never paid any attention to it until she heard a tale of an evil archon utilizing him for his own selfish needs. 

She thought to herself, “I will find a way to save him.” as she continued to roam and travel by on her own to find a way to free him. The week before (Y/N) had broken down in front of Xiao, she had already climbed up to the Foundation of Plaustrite once more, hearing that an archon of contracts would appear one fateful night.

When she did encounter that archon, she had first spoken to him like she was talking to an ordinary human. The archon, Morax, had listened in on her story as she explained how Xiao was forced to commit these heinous acts of violence.

“He had helped me realize that I wanted to continue living. I came up here in hopes that I could find this God of Contracts and tell him my wish.” She said with a brave heart.

Rex Lapis listened intently in his human form. This would benefit all of Liyue if he could save the young demon from the evil archon. 

“I wish that he could be as free as a crane. I wish for him to find something worthy to protect. I wish for him to be proud of a name that he can tell others.” (Y/N) prayed while looking at the moon with the archon next to her.

“What name did you give him?” The god inquired.

She smiled, “Xiao.” while looking down at her feet. She knew that it had a few different meanings like “demon”, but she could only see the name to be fitting for someone heavenly.

The archon crossed his arms, knowing that this human girl was going to be the one to change history.

“It’s a deal.”

✦

She was sent into a dream realm. Her body seemed to feel lighter than ever, and she could only see a field of pure white flowers that blossomed on its own. In the distance, she could see the young adepti, laying peacefully in the field. (Y/N) had laid down on the grass right next to the dreaming demon.

Her time was about to come.

In order for her contract to be fulfilled, she must give up her life.

(Y/N) held Xiao’s hand tightly.

It was a wish she knew was worth protecting.

“I want you to be free. I want you to feel human. I want you to feel loved.”

The girl didn’t know death could be so alleviating. The other side was now beyond her reach, and she could slowly feel herself falling asleep. Even so, she continued to talk to Xiao like he was awake. A part of her hoped that she was somehow connected to Xiao in her dream.

She talked about the special almond tofu that she was supposed to be preparing and she had crafted a Qingxin crown while she rambled on. To her surprise, she felt a hand grab her arm. Turning around, she made eye contact with the young man who she thought was resting.

“Please...” He muttered in his sleep, turning over to come closer to the girl.

(Y/N) was taken aback, but then had smiled wistfully. Maybe she did have one more thing to do before she left this world to meet death. Without thinking, she had carefully tucked her Qingxin crown into the side of Xiao’s pocket.

“As proof that I was here... I’ll give this to you.”

She hovered over the resting man and had laid on top of him with a gentle hug.

If she could go back in time and relive every moment with him, she would.

...

She woke up.

That’s when she saw Xiao in front of her at the raid of her home. Well, what was left of their home. She knew that there was an attack launched when she was unconscious in the dream realm. Morax had informed her that the evil archon would order the bandits to come to kill the rest of her family at the ruins they lived in. It was also a consequence that the contract came with.

But it doesn’t matter anymore.

(Y/N) wanted to be selfish again.

“Welcome home.”

✦

When Xiao woke up, he no longer felt a presence next to him. Wondering what could have happened, he knew that he shouldn’t ask any more questions. Instead, he opened up the notebook that (Y/N) had left behind for him. With the Qingxin bookmarker, he had flipped open the book to read what (Y/N) left behind for him.

At that moment, he could no longer hold back the flow of tears.

After reading the truth.

After reading the contract.

After reading her sacrifice.

Xiao let out a blood-curdling scream. 

Never in his life had he ever heard his voice come out of his throat like that. Never had he ever thought that (Y/N) would be so important to him. He couldn’t help kneeling down on the floor of the shrine and curling up while holding the notebook to his chest.

After everything she’s done for him, he couldn’t let it all go in vain.

“I’ll fight. I’ll fight again. I’ll fight and make sure I grant your wish, (Y/N). I’ll do anything if it means that you can see me from wherever you are!”

Xiao missed her.

He missed her so much.

He missed (Y/N).

✦ 

Xiao fought. He no longer served under the evil archon and had pledged his allegiance to Rex Lapis. There was a long period of time, peace for Liyue, the type of peace that (Y/N) had wished for.

The guardian yaksha had sat on the Foundation of Plaustrite once again as he looked off and into the sunset. A thousand years had passed since (Y/N)’s passing. War never ended fast like how he hoped it would, but he continued to hold onto the feelings he had for (Y/N) until the very end.

The yaksha was now around two thousand years old. Although he distanced himself from the mortals he swore to protect, his memories were far from faded from the day he had serendipitously encountered the ethereal angel, (Y/N).

Between adepti and humans, he knew that relations between them were very possible. He couldn’t forget (Y/N)’s scent. As he sat on the stone slab, he could almost feel (Y/N)’s soul. It was almost like she was leaning her head on his shoulder again.

He placed the Qingxin flowers he had collected from the highest points of Liyue and rested them beside him. The atmosphere felt a little bit nostalgic as he watched the sun go down.

Xiao had peered at the little desk of books that were piled on each other over the years that had passed. With careful eyes, he picked up the worn out notebook that (Y/N) had left behind for him. Every time he felt like he was losing himself, he would flee to this floating sanctuary that he once met (Y/N) at.

He felt the cover of the book, not realizing how much time had passed as he continued to live on as a proud yaksha.

Slowly, he turned the book cover open and began reading the pages again.

“Dear Xiao...

Did you like the gift I gave you? I wasn’t sure what to do when I first heard that you were being enslaved by a cruel archon. I did everything in my power to make sure that I could somehow make my wish for you a reality.

Rex Lapis was a compassionate archon I never thought I would meet. He listened to my tale and had decided to make a contract with me so you could be set free. At that moment, I knew that it was going to cost the lives of our entire family and I.

I’m sorry.

I knew that if I had told you my plans, you would do everything within your power to stop it.

It’s funny how I wanted to die so badly.

The day that we both met was a very fortunate day.

I believe that everything happens for a reason.

You were my reason.

So with that, I hope that you’ll feel as free as a crane. I hope that you’re living to protect something important again. I hope that you’re opening up to humans more and face them with no hostility. Even when you’re around children, I find it adorable that you had somehow kept a soft spot for them. I hope that you’re doing well and living the rest of your days with peace.

Maybe one day we can meet again.

And if we do meet again...

I hope you’ll fall for me one more time.

Love, (Y/N).”

The man had sighed to himself, closing the book and resting it in his lap. A part of him wanted to thank the evil archon for telling him to love. He knew that the archon wanted to use Xiao’s resentment to multiply his power during the war, but it didn’t turn out how he thought it would.

The moon began to rise in the night sky. Out far in the distance, he could see all of the floating lanterns from where he rested. Xiao knew that the beginning of the lantern festival had begun. The guardian yaksha was grateful to be the only one to know why the festival was hosted on this very day.

It was in memory of (Y/N).

The floating lanterns glowed from afar, making Xiao slowly smile to himself. If what (Y/N) said in her writings were true, then he would gladly await the day he would meet her again.

With a new age of Liyue and with no calamity threatening Teyvat, Xiao was able to sit back and relax as he watched the lanterns float in the sky.

This was the beginning of an Adeptus’ retirement.

-=+=-

AN: My god. This took about three full days for me to write. I hope that you’ve enjoyed reading this. I spent so much time thinking, writing, and crying over this idea for Xiao for the longest time. I’m so glad that I was able to tell myself to post this, ignoring the fear that no one would like it at all. With the new year that’s about to come, I can’t wait to see experience and see the next chapter of my life could be. Thank you for reading this. I wish you to stay safe and hope that you’ve enjoyed this piece of writing I have left to give. You don’t have to like or reblog the post, but if you really feel like this had resonated in you, I would deeply appreciate it if you could like or reblog it. I want other people who love Xiao to read this if they could. It would mean a lot to me. Again, thank you for reading up to this point, and I wish you a happy new year.

[shreddedparchment]

A Wife for Thor Pt.03

10/21/2020

Garden of Delights

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 5,411

Warnings: angst, jealousy, talks of death, talk of sickness, infant sickness, neglect, fluff

A/N: As I said, writing itself right now. lol I’m not really sure how long this story will be. I have the basic premise set and a small plot, but if I choose to make this around the size of Pseudo Princess, I’ll have to come up with a bigger plot than the simple one I’ve got. Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I know I certainly loved writing it. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

Seriously, Thor doesn’t reblog as easily as Bucky or Steve on tumblr, so I TRULY appreciate it.

Please do not RESPOST any of my works on other sides or blogs.

REBLOGS always welcome!

You’re still laughing gently, hiding your chewing behind your hand.

“Stop.” You plead, looking across the table at Thor.

Both of you seated on opposite heads of the table. To your left is Loki, smirking with no shame at the stories just relayed. To your right is Brunnhilde, sipping her wine…well, guzzling would be more apt.

She’s teetering left and right, elbow on the table as she shakes her head at Loki across from her.

They lock eyes and Loki scoffs, “Don’t pretend as if you didn’t want to stab him too when you first met him.”

“I never said I didn’t!” She argues, plopping her glass down a little too hard and the glass makes a loud clink that draws everyone’s gaze.

“Why did you want to stab him?” You ask her, reaching for your own glass of regular wine. Thor had promised that you didn’t want to try the Asgardian mix.

“You won’t wake for a week. Trust me, Your Highness.” He’d been super proper, and it was a little annoying, but you understand why he’s being so careful. He wants to impress everyone, especially the two who sit beside him.

To his left sits a woman, absolutely drop dead gorgeous with creamy moon skin and raven hair. She’s certainly one to watch out for as Brunnhilde had said.

She hasn’t smiled once since she gave you a small stiff grin as Thor had introduced you.

Even now she watches you, her hand resting on the table, a little too close to Thor’s hand for comfort.

Her fingers seem to be inching their way towards his and you feel the beginning bite of fangs in your mouth at the thought of her hating you because she wants Thor for herself.

This also makes you sad because you don’t meet women who are as unique as she, but Lady Sif has drawn a line and you find yourself on one side with Thor while she watches from the other, despising your very existence for taking the man she covets.

On Thor’s right is a man with his dark hair in dreads. Beautiful amber eyes stand bright against his dark skin, and the luxurious gray armor he wears, sits pretty on his muscular form. To his own right is a sword, placed between him and Loki.

He looks less amused by the story Loki and Thor just told them but when he meets your gaze, his eyes betray an amusement. Heimdall, protector of the Asgardian borders, has a soft spot for his King and his friends.

“To put it short,” Brunnhilde begins, popping her lips as she lifts her wine to her lips again, eyes locked on Thor. “He’s a bit of a doofus.”

Thor’s burst of booming laughter in infectious and you laugh too, just as Loki, Brunnhilde, and even Heimdall chuckles along gently.

Lady Sif is the only one who doesn’t laugh but merely smiles as she look at Thor as he shakes his head overwhelmed with amusement.

You know what she sees, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes are endearing. The sparkle of his one blue eye. The loveliness of his golden bearded face all stretched into a stunning smile.

“I am not a doofus!” He protests, then clears his throat and taps his fingers against the table as he makes his face as serious as he can manage. “What way is that to speak of your King?”

Brunnhilde throws her head back outrageously tickled by his words.

“You may be my King, but that does not make you any less of a doofus than before you earned your crown.” She throws at him and Thor laughs again, shaking his head as you quietly chuckle with them, loving this exchange and the ease at which they seem to be.

“What about that made you want to stab him?” You ask her, everyone’s gaze drawn to you and Lady Sif’s smile vanishing.

“Well, you’ll just have to wait and see.” Brunnhilde teases. “My condolences. Being married to this buffoon will be a true test of your character.”

Although her words are said as a joke, your heart gives a small lurch as you meet Thor’s gaze again, and this time he holds it, his own face falling a little to only a soft smile as both of you replay the conversation in the hallway once again.

“I’ll just have to try my best.” You tell her, a small shrug of your shoulder. “He seems alright so far. No major red flags. Besides the obvious.”

Thor’s smile is completely gone now, his brow furrowed as he continues to stare at you, his breathing a little deeper. A little more labored.

You’re nervous as you speak, voice shaking a little as your heart pounds and aches.

“What’s that?” Loki asks, also serious suddenly, picking up on the tension between you and Thor.

It might seem like you’re letting it go on too long on purpose, using it to make everyone uncomfortable, but really you just have to find the strength to speak as your nerves begin to get the better of you.

“Well,” You begin, voice still shaking. “I mean, look at him.”

And they all do.

“He’s also been really nice to me.” You admit, because aside from the unanswered question in the hallway, Thor has treated you respectfully, politely, with genuine concern and compassion…so far. “I think the deal was that I’m supposed to marry him and it’s alright if I don’t love him but, how long can I really resist?”

Brunnhilde scoffs, purging the atmosphere for everyone else of what you’re saying allowing them to relax and laugh at your strange way of telling them you find Thor attractive.

“At least your worries about your wife not liking you are assuaged.” Heimdall claps Thor on the shoulder, visibly shaking his body, but Thor’s intense gaze is on you alone.

Swallowing hard, you reach for your wine glass and take a deep drink, so conscious of Thor’s stare.

Dinner goes on just as it began and before long, Thor is back to laughing and chatting while your own attention is given to Loki and Heimdall whenever he remembers something he’s wants to ask.

When all plates are cleaned and glasses sit empty, dinner officially over, Sif turns hard eyes on you.

“So, I hear that you don’t have parents.” The interest is forced. She couldn’t care less about you or your life.

“Yeah,” You nod. “Um, they died a few months after I was born. Plane accident.”

“I’m sorry to hear it.” Heimdall laments kindly.

Beside you, Brunnhilde has her head in her hand, elbow on the table, eyes shut and mouth slightly open.

She’d just been talking so this is new.

“Thank you, but I don’t remember them. My only sorrow comes from never having a family.” You admit. “I grew up in a school—well, really it was an orphanage, but it was run much like a private school with uniforms that the government provided along with a minimal education. I attended until I became a legal adult and my lawyer, came to give me my inheritance.”

“Why weren’t you adopted?” Sif asks, her voice full of well-hidden venom that you can hear only because you know to look for it, her hand is inching towards Thor’s again and while he’s not your husband yet, the urge to stake claim over it is strong.

The way she asks also makes you feel as if she’s waiting to see exactly what is wrong with you. What can she use against you?

You smile, a smirk really, knowing what she’s up to.

You’re not unkind, but you bristle when attacked and Sif is making it easy for you to be defensive.

Searching within yourself for the strength to keep yourself calm, you take a deep breath before you answer.

“I wasn’t a healthy baby. I was sick, all the time. There was even a night my fever became so high that the doctors were sure that I would be left with brain damage. So, they watched me grow, expecting defects, but I got sick less and less the older I got.

“My speech and motor functions were top tier, and my learning capabilities were also fine.”

Everyone is silent, watching you with somber expressions. You’re a little on edge with them paying you such close attention, but this was the point of the dinner. To get to know each other.

“Unfortunately, potential parents were warned about the possible challenges I might face as I grew older, which put many of them off. While they wanted an infant, they didn’t want one that was broken.”

“I’m sorry for their ignorance.” Heimdall offers. “Clearly you grew up to be a lovely woman, but even if you had not, I’m saddened by their lack of compassion.”

You can only smile at him, having come to terms with the facts of your childhood long ago.

“Anyway, that’s why no one adopted me. So, a true family is something I’ve never had. I’m…” You blink, wondering how honest you want to be here. “I think it’s one of the things I’m looking forward to most. After tonight, I’m more convinced than before that this is will be a good environment to build a family. You’re all so nice.”

Loki, Brunnhilde—who’s awake again—and Heimdall are smiling. Lady Sif sits stiffly, her hands pulled onto her lap as she keeps her eyes locked on the empty plate in front of her.

Your heart stutters as you meet Thor’s eyes again. Staring deep into the single blue orb still locked on you.

“As conflicted as my past with the people in this room has been, I promise you, that is the right decision.” Loki assures you, a peaceful smile on his face that somehow comforts any misgivings you’ve been having.

At least about the people you’ll be around daily.

Your conversation with Thor in the hallway is a different matter, and one that you really want to finish.

“Well,” Brunnhilde slaps her hands on the table, rising to her feet with a little sway. “I think that’ enough pleasant conversation for me. I am tired-”

“And drunk.” Loki adds.

“-And that.” She agrees. “I need some sleep. So, Y/N, Your Royal Highness this has truly been a pleasure. I will be by in the morning to see you about wedding arrangements. Not too early though, you know—”

She steps out from in front of her chair, already walking towards the door large double doors.

Heimdall rises too, then Loki, Thor, and Lady Sif.

You stand last, fixing your dress as you do, making sure it isn’t stained. Luckily, it isn’t.

“This has indeed been illuminating.” Heimdall agrees, moving over to you to take your hand and press a chaste kiss to your knuckles. “Your Highness, it has been a true pleasure. I look forward to getting better acquainted with you.”

Loki is smiling, standing by the door but then he turns his eyes on Lady Sif.

“A word, Sif?” She looks at him, freezing beside Thor where she’d already begun to take his arm to pull his attention. “It won’t take long.”

With a sigh, she gives you one look before moving out the door in a huff, Heimdall following. Loki gives Thor a nod, something silent passes between them. With one final nod to you as well, Loki leaves.

“I really am very sorry that Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun could not join us. Unfortunately, the Warrior’s Three are highly sought throughout the galaxies.” Thor says, moving towards you with calm slow steps. “They should be back for the wedding though.”

“I’m excited to meet them. Everyone was so kind.” You observe. “Well, almost.”

Thor looks confused, stopping just at the corner of the table beside you, his fingers nervously tracing the shape of the edge.

“Seriously? You didn’t notice?” You shake your head, somehow finding it funny. “I think Brunnhilde might be right about you being a doofus.”

Thor laughs once, blows a quick raspberry in denial at your conclusion. “Why do you say that?”

“Thor, Lady Sif hates me.” You point out, it’s so obvious to you and was obvious to Loki too at least.

“No.” Thor shakes his head.

“She kept trying to grab your hand! She kept glaring daggers at me.” You sigh. “She’s in love with you.”

“Sif is like a sister.” Thor tells you, as if this negates her feelings as well.

“She’s still in love with you.”

Thor sighs. “I’ll speak with her.”

“Don’t bother. I think Loki’s beating you to it.”

“Walk with me?” He asks, and your heart goes into sudden arrest.

Fingers nice and tingly, you swallow the lump in your throat. “What?”

“I would like it very much if you walked with me for a while. The night is not over yet, and despite the exhaustion of my court, it’s not actually that late yet. The gardens my people have cultivated for the palace are beautiful. I’d love to show them to you.” He offers his hand, waiting patiently for you to take it but you can only gawk at him.

“Isn’t it cold outside?” You ask, on edge.

Thor drops his hand. “Oh, right. Estrid?”

She’s already waiting by the door, auburn hair looking slightly disheveled.

“Ah, Estrid.” Thor smiles, big dopey grin on his face. “Oh, your hair…”

He gestures and she quickly fixes it.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty.” She gasps.

“No, no. Just looked funny.” He eases her, and she calms instantly, smiling bashfully. “Can you fetch Her Highness a jacket?”

Estrid turns and rushes from the room but returns only seconds later with a long navy cloak. It isn’t a jacket, but it will match your dress nicely.

“That’s not a jacket.” You observe, feeling self-conscious.

Thor takes it from her and holds it open for you. There’s a clasp around the throat that will sit against your collarbone. “It’s a cloak. It’ll keep you just as warm as a jacket.”

You turn for him and he slips it over your shoulders, holding it until you turn to face him then he quickly fastens the clasp.

“Better?” He checks, fixing it around you.

You can’t find your voice to answer. Heart is racing. Damn him. This isn’t going to work if he keeps being sweet.

He offers you his arm and you hesitate, timidly wrapping your hand around the lower part of his large bulky bicep again.

“Wonderful.” He smiles wide. “Estrid, Her Highness will be in later, please prepare her bedroom so that she might go to sleep as soon as we return.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” She curtsies quickly then turns and rushes out to get your room ready.

“She doesn’t have to do that.” You tell him, turning to watch her flee. “I can make my own bed and stuff.”

“It’s her job.” Thor tells you. “Will you take it from her?”

You think about it carefully, and despite the fact that  Thor is a warrior and has travelled around the world sleeping in terrible places with no comforts at times, you understand in this moment that having servants is something he’s used to.

“No.” You realize and make a mental note to let these people do their work without putting up too much of a fight.

Thor leads you off down a side door into another dark wooden hallway with beautiful cobbled floors beneath your feet with a long carpet running its length. No one seems to be walking around in this hallway which makes you think it’s more secluded.

“Did David tell you I like flowers?” You check, wondering how much information Thor has about you.

“No? I didn’t know that though. That makes this even better.” He realizes.

You lapse into silence, hand trembling around his bicep as your mind replays the last two hours, picking apart every moment, every word shared, and every lingering look Thor had given you.

“Did you enjoy dinner?” Thor asks, his voice much lower, quieter.

It’s an intimate volume and it startles you, giving you a little bit of a delay in your response.

You meet his eyes and he’s staring right at you, soft smile stretched across his lips. It’s more a peaceful expression, calming.

And yet, it has the opposite effect on you, and you gasp a little as you catch your breath. Your heart is pounding through your ribcage.

“It was good.” You nod, looking towards the large stone archway up ahead. One of the doors stands open, the Norwegian night beyond.

You can see a splash of beautiful green beyond and can already hear the soft tinkling of flowing water from what is probably a fountain.

“And the conversation?” He asks, tilting his head to one side as he gives it better thought. “Aside from Sif.”

“They were all super nice, Thor.” You smile, honestly grateful to Loki, Brunnhilde, and Heimdall for their warm welcome. “I wish Lady Sif had been more open. She’s been fighting at your side for a long time, right?”

“She has.” Thor nods, as the two of you break through the doorway and you’re greeted with an elegant garden larger than even the circular room you’d first met with Thor in.

Your jaw drops and you stop walking, gaping at the collection of flora and fauna each piece delicately pruned and cared for. There are certainly several small fountains, dark gray with small underwater lights to provide the garden with diffused illumination.

Despite the chilly night, the garden makes you feel warm with flowers of every color. Roses in white and red, lilies with stunning white, carnations in pink, wine, cream, yellow, and purple. Throughout the roses are smaller pink flowers you don’t know but they’re adorable and the fragrance in this garden is intoxicating.

“Wow.” You whisper.

“You like it?” Thor asks, smiling a little wider as he waits for you to take your long look.

“It’s beautiful.” You nod.

“Come.” He pulls you along gently, urging you to walk again.

You follow, your hand sturdier around his arm. “Do you like gardens too?”

Thor nods. “My mother used to cherish her garden. When we arrived, it was the first thing I had commissioned. They were finished building it before they even finished the palace.”

“She passed?” You wonder, looking up at the echo of sadness in his eyes.

“A while ago.” Thor nods. “I miss her counsel. She was always the voice of reason and logic in my life.”

“I’m sorry.” You offer, hoping it’s a comfort.

You reach up with your other hand, wrapping it around his arm too.

He looks down at you, eyes searching, confused? But his smile never wavers. “Thank you.”

The two of you lapse into silence again, you busy looking at every flower you pass in admiration, Thor lost in thought.

“I’m going to miss my herb garden.” You lament with a sigh.

“You had an herb garden?” Thor wonders, turning his attention back to you.

“Just a small one. I only had some rosemary and thyme. I wanted to grow some mint, parsley, basil, and dill but I didn’t get the chance.”

Thor stops walking, gently shakes his arm to make your hand slide down along his forearm. As it falls, you takes hold of it.

You’re startled, but you don’t pull away, your mind devouring the information you can gleam from this moment as quickly as it can.

His hand is warm. No…it’s hot. Like he’s had it shut for a long time. The skin is a little rough, calloused, but not uncomfortable. You can just imagine the battles he must have fought. His hand is so big. Fingers wrapped softly around yours. He gives it a squeeze and you feel it in your core that this isn’t going at all how you planned.

You almost want to run to your room and hide under your blankets with the speed at which you can feel yourself dropping your guard to him.

The plan had been to marry him, never love him, and live your life as best you can and probably take a lover at some point. You should be able to love too.

But it isn’t supposed to be Thor. You’re not supposed to fall for him.

You remind yourself of his refusal to be honest with you. You remind yourself that his heart is already given and accepted. Jane loves him too, even if she won’t marry him to prevent him from marrying someone else.

You can understand why she can’t give up her life to take on this one. It’s a lot to ask of anyone.

It helps you grasp onto reality, to remember the conversation before dinner and his inability to commit to honesty when It comes to Jane.

“I have something to show you.” He tells you and pulls you down the length of the garden until you reach a greenhouse.

Thor releases your hand and throws the doors open before holding his hand out for you to take again.

You do, and he pulls you into the narrow but long space. Each side is lined with planter boxes, each box holds a different herb, including all of the ones you mentioned before, and some you have never seen before.

“What is this?” You gasp, reaching for a particularly strange one in a deep blue, almost black color.

“It’s the Asgardian version of lavender.” He tells you, placing his other hand over the one you’re reaching out for it with. “But it stings a little for humans to touch with bare hands. There are garden glove in the box by the door if you want to cut some for your room later. It smells wonderful. My mother used to keep some on her desk.”

“I can take some?” You gasp, turning to look up at him and he’s standing so damn close, you shrink in surprise.

“Of course.” He smiles at you, “This is your home now. Anything in these gardens is yours to have.”

He’s so fucking nice! You hate him.

You’re too stunned by his proximity to speak, hands twitching under his own. He seems to realize what’s got you tongue-tied because he takes a step and one hand back but keeps hold of the other.

“I wanted to talk with you, it’s why I’ve brought you here.” He pulls you along, and you give the herb garden one final look before he shuts the doors and moves back towards the center of the garden.

There you find several white marble benches around a small manmade pond, surrounded by more flowers.

Thor leads you to one of these benches, then extends a hand towards it so that you’ll sit.

You do, nervous suddenly as he sits beside you, taking his hand back for the first time since he began to show you the garden.

“You’re making me nervous.” You admit, your mouth moving before you can stop it. Anxious is not a good state for you.

“No.” He assures you, shaking his head, full of concern. “No, please don’t be nervous. I only wanted to continue our conversation from before dinner.”

“Oh.” You nod, expecting to be denied the honesty you want.

How will you use his refusal to do it as an excuse to not fall for him if he agrees to it?

“You’re right.” He nods, turning in the seat to face you a little better, your body mirroring his.

“I am?”

“Yes.” He takes a long deep breath. “After everything that was said during dinner, after watching my friends meet with you and get to know you, I realize that you’re right in what you say. I am asking a lot from you. More than I care to admit.”

Your mouth is suddenly dry.

“Did you mean what you said?” He whispers, a trace amount of uncertainty in his deep voice.

“What did I say?” You ask, voice not as quiet but still a little breathless.

“About falling for me?”

“Oh.” Your brain goes fuzzy and your heart is probably going to burst through your chest like in that one horror movie you watched as a kid.

“Truth is, I chose you because you were different.” He nods. “Not, different from regular humans. Most of them are very much like you, which is great. I love humans. But compared to the other ladies that came to meet for this purpose, I…if I’d wanted someone who would turn a blind eye while I and Jane continued to see each other, then I should have chosen one of them.

“They knew what was expected, as did you, but I didn’t consider how the difference in you would affect your own responses.”

“Are you saying you don’t want me anymore?” You ask timidly, feeling a rush of emotions all mixing together, turning into confusion.

You’re almost happy that he doesn’t want you anymore. You won’t have to marry him and deal with Jane and a life of standing by watching him be with someone else while the world thinks you’re together.

Another part of you, the part that’s already out of your control—even though you’ll never admit it—can’t help but feel depressed that he’ll be married to someone else.

“No!” Thor rushes to assure you, sliding over closer so that he can take your hand again, his knee touching yours. “No, that’s not at all what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that I understand what you meant. I know why you were upset. I’m sorry that I did not consider this whole thing more carefully from your perspective.”

You feel a wave of relief and know you’re screwed. It’s already too late.

“But I need you to answer my question.” He says.

Your eyes go wide at the audacity of this man as you laugh because it’s so funny of him to need that of you when he couldn’t return the favor before. “You didn’t answer mine!”

He smiles, chuckling. “Answer mine first.”

As you consider him, blue eye staring at you with no restraint for the way his gaze makes you feel, your mood grows somber, all traces of your laugh gone.

“Yes.” You sigh. “I’ve never been in love before.”

You shrug.

“And it’s not like you’re not…I mean…You know damn well what you look like.” You growl.

Thor laughs, throwing his head back.

“And then you come in with that voice and you’re not rude or…I mean, you were a little mean with the whole asking me to put up with being married and having no love in it. Like, I get that it might be normal for royals or whatever, but I’m not really royal. I haven’t lived in a palace with servants and a crown on my head.

“I grew up in an orphanage with no friends. No one has ever loved me. My parents loved me, I think, but they died and no one has cared about me like that since. Even now, the only person on my side is David, and I know he only stuck around because he felt bad for me. He’s also getting paid by my estate, so…there’s that.

“I’m not asking you to love me. I know that you love someone else, but I was only asking for you to be open with me about it. If you want to meet Jane, fine. Meet her. But do it somewhere that I can’t see. Do it but tell me that’s where you’ll be so that even if rumors fly in my ear that Thor is meeting with his mistress, it won’t hurt as much. It won’t make me feel as stupid, because I already know that’s where you are.”

Thor’s hand over yours grows tighter, his face lamenting for who knows what reason, because you’re not in his head but you can see that he feels bad which is stupid and you hate him for it because it means he cares.

You only just met him but with every passing moment in his presence, you fall more and more. It’s not love yet. You know that. It can’t be a crush because you know him too well. You like him. You’ll admit that.

“To answer your question more clearly,” You take a deep breath, exhaling quickly to wipe away the excess of emotion that surged forward suddenly. “Yes. I meant it. I don’t love you now, but I think I could.”

Thor nods, looking down at your hand, turning it over in his own.

The silence feels endless! He won’t speak, but his thumb keeps caressing your hand and you kinda wanna bite him for it.

“If my mother were here, she’d be disappointed in me. She’d tell me that I should let go of Jane. She met her, and while she liked her but…We are clearly moving along different paths and as much as I love her, she is not the one for me. Not anymore. My mother would definitely think so.

“I think she would have really liked you.” He admits, and his words give you comfort. “She would have called me a fool to pass up such a sweet and level-headed woman.”

“I’m not that level-headed.” You confess. “I’ve got anxiety issues sometimes.”

Thor smiles.

“I think she would have been right.”

Wait, is he saying what you think he’s saying?

“I will talk with Jane tomorrow to…to break things off. It won’t be the first time for us to part ways and I think in the long run it will be better for us both.”

“Thor, you don’t have to-”

“But I do.” He nods, meeting your eyes. “I need to let go of my past to embrace my future. And that’s you and New Asgard. It’s my people.”

“I want this marriage to work.” He continues. “I chose you and I meant that choice. Out of all the women I met, your picture of an ideal marriage was the closest to mine. It would make me happy to live that life with you.”

You’re breathless, chest heaving as you struggle to find a coherent thought.

Thor seems to realize that you’re struggling because he places your hand on your lap, tapping it gently before scooting back a little to give you space.

He’s so fucking massive! How is it possible that this is seriously your life? This God will be your husband. You’re going to have his kids?!

Your cheeks burn, neck burns, ears burn, legs suddenly clenched together as the fear from before runs quickly through your mind.

They’d wanted a maiden and they got one. Will he talk about it with you later? You can’t bear to talk about it now. You’re too embarrassed and overwhelmed by what he’s saying.

“So,” He starts, rising to his feet to tower over you. Then he falls, gliding gently onto one knee before reaching into his pants to pull from his pocket a small brown pouch.

He opens it, turns it over, and into his hand tumbles a shining silver ring.

“I chose this before I knew you liked flowers but now that I know, it makes me glad I picked it.” He smiles, “It just made me think of you when I went searching so, I hope you like it.”

He grabs it with two fingers, pinching the thin band delicately to hold it upright so that you can see the stunning design. A round diamond rests in the middle, shining brilliantly at the center of what looks like a lotus flower made of smaller diamonds filling its leaves.

You hate him because you absolutely love this ring. You love the sight of him on his knee in front of you. You love the way he scoots closer so that he can hold your hand easier as he gently straightens it and presses the ring to the tip of your finger.

“Will you marry me, Y/N? Will you be my Queen?” He asks, and you’re so silent, he grows visibly nervous. “Please?”

You laugh at the hitch in his voice, the plea there.

“Yes, stupid.” You laugh again.

He chuckles as he slips the ring on your finger, then after a moment of hesitation, he hooks his hand behind your neck and pulls you down to meet his lips.

Eyes wide, heart stopped, you freeze as hot lips fry your nervous system.

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding VII

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Part I - - - Part II - - - Part III - - - Part IV - - - Part V - - - Part VI

CONTENT WARNING: Please be advised this chapter may contain triggering material. More detail available in tags. 

It wasn’t until Anakin was staring at the hot sauce bottles and solitary mysterious green takeout container that he remembered they were at war, and therefore no longer in the habit of restocking the apartment’s cold stasis.

“Obi-Wan, there’s nothing to eat!” 

"I know!” came the call back. “I’m trying to meditate!”

Anakin closed the stasis door and walked back out to the common room. Obi-Wan sat crosslegged on the window sill.

“Do or do not, there is no try,” the knight quipped.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes to look fondly at the man standing before him. Maybe tomorrow, when he woke alone in a dusty desert hovel, he would regret letting himself play pretend for so long. Maybe this whole day would fade from his memory like a dream.

But right now, he felt... peaceful. He wouldn’t claim to be satisfied by the explanations he imagined for Anakin, but it would have been far more disturbing if he somehow came up with an actually sympathetic justification for genocide. He got to say and hear a number of goodbyes. He even got to cry over Anakin with the comfort of his presence. 

Now he had to let go, to be there for Luke. (And he could always get more spice...)

“I guess if you need to meditate, I can go pick us up food from the Temple Tapcaf.” Anakin offered. 

“Thank you, Anakin. Today...helped. More than I can explain.” Obi-Wan said softly.

“I- I don’t really deserve that. Considering it was all my fault.” Anakin bowed his head, helpless for words, but uncomfortable with being praised.

“Not every terrible thing that has happened is your fault. You made a series of terrible choices, yes. But there were, there are, other dark forces at work and not a single Jedi in the order was able to stop them. At least for a short time today I was able to set that aside, so for what it’s worth, thank you.”

“Kriff.” Anakin said shocked. “Of course there’s more. Ok. That’s all right, we-” he was cut off by a growl from Obi-Wan’s stomach. 

A snort of laughter escaped before Anakin smacked a hand over his mouth. “Alright, I’m going to the Tapcaf, you just...meditate until I get back.”

Obi-Wan swallowed and nodded, “I love you so much.” 

“Force Obi-Wan, you’re going to make me start crying again.” He pulled him into a bear hug. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m not gone, ok? Just...meditate. And drink some water.”

"Hmm, I don’t know. Some of my best choices recently have been stupid,” Obi-Wan laughed. The words were light, but Anakin felt a prickle of unease, a hint of danger. There was no clear cause, and Obi-Wan seemed relaxed but...

Anakin gripped his Master’s shoulders, staring him dead in the eye. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

Obi-Wan sighed, “I promise.” He pulled Anakin down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Goodbye, Anakin.”

"I’ll be back in 20 minutes.” He paused, then mumbled, “i love you too” before speeding out the door.

Obi-Wan settled back into meditation, reaching inwards. Everything but his body and the light within faded. He magnified his hunger, his thirst, visualizing the pack of dried jerky in his hut, the precious jars of water in the basement. He could almost feel the heat that never quite abandoned Tatooine, even during the short nights. He opened his eyes

and saw the temple apartment.

He shut them again quickly. He was sure he could snap himself out of this. He sank deeper inward, careful to leave his shields perfectly intact. With the galaxy as dim as it was, a real show of force had the potential to grab attention across star systems. Force purging toxins, fortunately, was more a matter of internal concentration than outward power. It was one of the first skills Obi-Wan had truly mastered as a Jedi, thanks to numerous kidnappings at the start of his apprenticeship and hard drinking towards the end. 

It was uncomfortable to be that keenly aware of one’s kidneys, but Obi-Wan managed. It was less intense than a healing trance, anyway. His heart rate increased as various metabolic processes sped up- and almost immediately slowed down. Huh. The drug must of almost run its natural course, and now he 

still in the temple.

Kark. Shit. 

‘Breathe’ he thought. Stress was only going to increase his chances of a stroke. Alright, so meditation wasn’t working. Maybe he could try for longer, but part of him was nervous that if ‘Anakin’ returned he’d lose the willpower, and so far the passage of time had been extremely linear. He was too invested in the fantasy at this point for anything easy.

Remember your training. Your eyes can deceive you, do not trust them. 

Padawans were taught three main methodologies to move beyond mindtricks, hallucinations, visions, and the like. Looking In, Reaching Out, and Breaking Out. 

Looking in wasn’t working. That left the other two options. In the past, when his senses were lying to him he could always trust in the force, but now...it was just too much risk. Reaching out like that, with his whole self, meant the chance of finding someone.

That left breaking out. Obi-Wan jumped up, staring intensely at the details in the molding, the stains on the carpet, at everything. At no point today had he spotted objects fading to grey in the corner his vision, or ripple as memories from different time frames overlapped, but surely there must be some weak point.

Nothing. 

Shit, he really had stayed too long. Alright then, time for more uncivilized measures.

He walked to the kitchen and pulled their butcher’s vibroblade from its block, holding it to his neck, then hesitated.

This had to be done, but it didn’t make it any less unsettling. It was his own fault for lingering in the delusion so long; all the more palatable paths to escape had closed off, and after all he had been through he refused to die from a drug overdose. Gods, it might take years for someone to find the body.

He steeled himself, bringing the blade back up decisively only to drop it with a clatter. Pressing a hand to his throat, he was unnerved but not entirely surprised to find a stinging line of pain. His hand came away wet with blood. He instinctively pressed both hands to the cut, pulse rapid and heavy and slippery beneath his palms.

It’s just a hallucination. It’s just an extremely vivid hallucination.

A thought occurred to Obi-Wan then, and he felt something in the pit of his stomach drop in horror.

What if...what if the blade was real. What if he was actually moving around his home right now, hazily sleepwalking in a pantomime of the peaceful stroll and tender embraces he was imagining. It would explain the immediate relief from the water this morning...hadn’t he found his way to food and water even dazed from sleep-debt and blood-loss during the war?

He had a vibroblade in the desert too...

His pulse pounded harder beneath his hands. The cut wasn’t even that deep, but for the first time Obi-Wan felt the true existential horror of his current trap well up. If he didn’t know where the walls were...how could he escape.

He took a deep breath, acknowledging and letting go of his panic.

He had the force. He would just have to be delicate in his application. He picked up the bloodied tool from the floor but decided to simply to clip it to his belt for now. A force-null object would be harder to distinguish at first touch.

Obi-Wan walked to his temple bedroom and opened the barest crack in his shields, just enough to reach out, get a sense of existing currents in the force. He stirred at one until a small vortex of light formed. To anyone looking, it would appear a naturally occurring, low-powered whirlpool, common enough on Tattoine. Any gentle moves he made in the minutes before it fell apart would hopefully be obscured by its wake.

He hesitantly laid a hand on the lightsaber on his bedside table, lowering his shields a little further. His heart sunk when he realized that his memory had even recreated the perception of force-imbued temple walls in the periphery. The Kyber in his saber reverberated with a familiar song. He jerked his hand away. That felt too much like his real lightsaber. He couldn’t risk it. 

Before Obi-Wan truly began to panic again, he realized something missing. Anakin’s- Darth Vader’s saber. Since picking it up on Mustafar, the crystal in it had screamed at him, halfway to corruption. When he touched the blade he could almost feel... feel what horrors it had been bent to commit.

Most of the time he left it buried under a rock pile in his basement, too afraid to work on healing it.

He couldn’t hear it now- but he could feel the memory of what it used to be.

It sat innocently on his Anakin’s bedside table. There was a tinge of darkness to it of course- this saber had only ever known war. But when he rested a hand on the blade it was clear this belonged to the memory he had walked with today, not the tyranny of reality.

Grasping it firmly, he marched back to the windowsill and settled, intent on his choice. Sunsets here couldn’t compare to tattooine- they were just too different. The binary play transformed the infinite horizon. It was something on Tatooine he unabashedly marveled at.

Courasant, on the other hand, transformed the sun into a reflection of itself. Untold millions of transparisteel buildings refracted the star painfully at some points while casting shadows on the rest. The filter of light through constant smog resulted in strange shades of neon green and blood red. It was beautiful, but uncomfortable to look at too long.

He closed his eyes and pressed the saber to his chest.

---

Anakin was impatiently waiting in the hot service line when the urge to return to his apartment insistently welled up again. He pushed it back of course- Obi-Wan needed food and Anakin couldn’t keep putting his own selfish impulses in front of his Master’s wellbeing.

He held out for a few seconds, but the itch was getting stronger, sharper. He looked down at the tray- it already had most of Obi-Wan’s cold favorites, but he really wanted to get him his favorite soup if the line would just move a little faster. He jolted when, for the first time that day, Obi-Wan’s shielding thinned the slightest amount. Not enough to get anything clear, but the fact that there was movement at all...

He left the line; they could always come back together if Obi-Wan wanted. Hells, maybe they’d do a late night visit to Dex’s for some real comfort food. Anakin still couldn’t get a sense of what Obi-Wan was up to through their muffled bond. He felt a buzz in his ears, not unlike the moment before an enemy blow.

He picked up speed, tea sloshing in its thermoflask. An elder looked at him annoyed as darted around him.

He started speed walking in earnest as the feeling got more intense. A sandwich fell to the wayside.

Speed walking quickly switched to jogging, then running; there was a shout of complaint as he ditched the whole tray carelessly behind.

He took the last few hallways at a full-out force-assisted sprint, the Force itself screaming at him to move. A small part of his mind thought we’re safe inside the temple Obi-Wan promised not to do anything stupid i’m going to get such shit for freaking out over nothing. 

He sensed nothing from Obi-Wan over the bond; not a hint of fear or anger or surprise. He blurred around the last corner, feeling like he might throw up with his increasing, unexplained panic.

Not caringabout anything butgettingto Obi-Wan beforeitstoolate he smashed down the door at the same moment Obi-Wan, sitting peacefully by the window, turned on the lightsaber pointing directly at his heart.

Time seemed to slow. Splinters of the door frame hung in the air as Anakin desperately pulled the lightsaber away from Obi-Wan in the half-second between activation and ignition.

He wasn’t quite fast enough.

Blue plasma pierced Obi-Wan’s chest as time caught up. Pieces of the wall shattered like shrapnel as he turned, shocked to see Anakin. The saber flew away in a straight arrow. 

Anakin threw himself to Obi Wan’s side, wildly trying to draw heat away from the searing hole before it could vaporize the surrounding flesh. He couldn’t tell what the saber had pierced, or how far it had gone in considering its last second movement.

One hand trained on a hundred battle fields robotically reached for his comm-unit to call for emergency medical assistance. His mind however, had largely been left behind a few minutes ago, when he was trying to pick what Obi-Wan would want to eat for dinner.

What came out his mouth was more incoherent shrieking than anything else, but he had at least called the correct line for temple aid.

He threw down the comm, focus intent on controlling the smoldering burn. The air around them seemed to boil and Obi-Wan started struggling to get away. Anakin bodily held him down, finally finding words,

“What the FUCK, OBI-WAN! YOU LITERALLY JUST PROMISED NOT TO DO ANYTHING STUPID! YOU PROMISED!”

“that’s why- hkk I  have  to” Obi-Wan rasped.

“Karking Fuck.YOU- STOP MOVING!”

Anakin felt a twinge of danger come from the side but was too focused to do anything but shift his body as shield. A sharp pain pierced his gut but he ignored it. 

The air crackled with heat and power as the wound beneath him cooled. A faint trickle of dark blood oozed out, probably burns breaking from recent movement, considering the instant cauterization. He couldn’t see any light coming through, which meant he had moved the saber at least a quarter klick before it activated, Anakin thought semi hysterically.

Finally, someone showed up to investigate the disturbance. In truth, probably less than a minute had passed since Anakin entered the room, but he really didn’t care.

“HELP ME!” Anakin shouted.

“What happened?” Mace Windu asked grimly, falling to the ground next to them. Not waiting for an answer, he set his lit saber aside and placed his hand to Obi-Wan’s forehead, stilling the violent thrashing.

Anakin opened his mouth but he just didn’t have the words. He didn’t know. 

“General Skywalker, report.” Mace Windu commanded sharply. 

“I left him alone to get dinner for us. I ran back and when I broke open the door he was holding the lightsaber to his chest. I tried...to pull it away. It pierced him, and I’ve been trying to manage the initial burn risk. I called for medi but I don’t know their eta.”

“They’re behind me. How did you get stabbed?” the Master demanded.

“How did I what?” Anakin looked down to see a vibroblade sticking out from his left side. Right, the pain from before. Obi-Wan suddenly mustered up the energy to wake up despite his state and Windu’s compulsion. He looked around wildly before yanking the knife from Anakin’s side.

Anakin gasped, but managed to still his brother’s hand using the force before he could finish bringing it up to his neck, which Anakin just noticed was bloody.

“STOP TRYING TO DIE!” Anakin screeched.

“...I’m...not....I’m....trying.....to...” 

But before Obi-Wan could finish the sentence, the healers finally arrived, pushing Windu aside to grab hold of Anakin and Obi-Wan. He could feel a buzz of energy go through him, stopping at the growing damp patch at his side. He tried to push the man away but the heat in the room was starting to make him dizzy

“I’m fine! Focus on Obi-Wan.”

Mace placed a hand on his shoulder, and in the gentlest voice he had ever heard from the man, said, “You’ve been stabbed Anakin. Let the healers help both of you- you’ve done well looking out for him.”

Obi-Wan, still occasional thrashing was being loaded onto a hoverstrech for transport. A second stretcher waited next to it. 

“Master Windu! He’s fighting us,” Master Che called sharply. “Can you tell us what happened?”

“Master Kenobi tried to kill himself,” Windu replied flatly. “His wounds are self inflicted and he’s violently fighting assistance” 

There was a beat as that information was processed. Knight Bant, who must have arrived at some point, said in slightly less flat voice, “He displayed erratic behavior earlier today, and I ruled out drug interactions.”

“Thank you, Knight Bant.” Master Che plunged a syringe of some kind into Obi-Wans thigh. He finally stopped attempting to fight, falling down onto the board. “Red team, with me. Orange, you have Skywalker,” She instructed sharply. 

Anakin numbly watched most of the healers leave with Obi-Wan through a hole in the wall. He slowly started to stand and somehow ended up guided into a seat on the hoverboard. Looking down, he was surprised to see his tunic cut away in favor of a large bacta patch. 

“Hey,” he protested. “Who stabbed me?”

“We can discuss that after you have surgery,” A Human healer replied. Master Covamos, he thought.

“This is my fault” Anakin said, suddenly urgent. “I shouldn’t have left him. He told me goodbye, he was saying goodbye all day, I should have...”

“You saved his life,” Windu interrupted. “You got to him just in time, don’t waste your energy on should-haves. Now sleep.”

Anakin wanted to argue more, but instead found himself laying down, vision blurring. His face felt damp, had he been stabbed more than once? Windu said a few more words he couldn’t quite make out. There was a brief stinging sensation, then everything faded away. 

----

Part VIII