#and it’s genuinely the fucking funniest fanfic like ever

[riacte]

Dear CCs: if you really want a fanfic to react to, the only correct response is the modern masterpiece mangobaII

[keepmycandleburning]

My favorite HP fanfics of all time:

#1: Beautiful Sleepyhead by Phantomato. Thoros Nott/Voldemort, 24k words, E. I also highly recommend reading Interlude in First and Oily Water from this series. This is the only fic I couldn't even guess how many times I've read it. It's so unspeakably beautiful, beyond words to me, the relationship these two characters have, the characterization of Voldemort and his professional and domestic lives, the strikingly beautifully written and raw erotica, the intense humanity of all of it. I recommend reading everything with Thoros/Voldemort. I'll read them anywhere and doing anything. In general I consider Phantomato the best writer I've ever read in my entire life, in any context and in any genre. The way they use words is not the way other people use words. Reading their writing changes the way I think. You make me need to write @phantomato I LOVE YOU

#2: Immortal Misconceptions by PinsandKneazles. Bellatrix/Voldemort, 3.4k, M. Bellatrix and Voldemort try to conceive Delphini. This is so so so so fucking funny. Genuinely one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I can't even look at this right now without scream laughing. Every line of this is laugh out loud worthy and it doesn't ever get any less funny even if you read it 20 times.

#3: The Warrior and the Snake by Lady_Escapist. Bellatrix/Voldemort, 150k, M. My favorite Bellamort fic (ignore the above...), and goes through the whole story of both wars which I adore. Lady_Escapist writes the best characterized Voldemort I've ever read, who speaks and acts and thinks like he does in canon, and he has an intensely complex relationship with Bellatrix that feels so incredibly believable, and so compelling. The chemistry between them is palpable. The type of story that impacts your view of the series when you read it.

#4: Dissonance by Metalomagnetic. Abraxas Malfoy/Tom Riddle, 17k, E, underage warning. Beautiful use of words, such evocative language, really feels like it's written in the real HP universe, and some of the most well-written sex I've ever read. It's really impressive to me how complex and individual and human these characters are in so few words. Metalomagnetic is another person who knows how to use words in a way most writers can't do. @metalomagnetic I LOVE YOU

#5: Scylla and Charybdis by Asenora. Snape/Voldemort, 44k, E. Transcendent experience of Snape and his relationship with Voldemort, woven together like a web interconnected through time. Delicious little Bellamort bits. Another brilliant writer who has a way with words I can barely fathom. Have never forgotten the description of Rodolphus's face as aquiline. @saintsenara I LOVE YOU

#6: Self-Worship by Phantomato. Diary Tom Riddle/real Tom Riddle, 21k, E. The diary horcrux gets a body, and there's only one bed... As brilliantly written as anything of theirs. So real, so visceral.

and:

Stop all the clocks by Metalomagnetic. Rodolphus/Voldemort, 9k, M. Rodolphus's POV of his intense adoration and devotion to Voldemort. Amazing writing of a Death Eater's love for the Dark Lord.

Penitence. Lucius/Voldemort, 810 words, E, non-con warning. Lucius has to suck Voldemort's dick in front of a ton of Death Eaters. So good.

Holiday by Phantomato. Thoros Nott/Voldemort, 23k, E. Fake engagement, you know what happens.

Other Women and of Purer Blood by Asenora. Narcissa/Snape, 7.7k, E. Super well-written, beautiful descriptions and narrative, so many compelling ideas, and an insane sex scene.

The Black Family Shield in Malfoy Manor by FelixPhial. Draco/Narcissa, 8.2k, E, non-con warning and maybe underage. Draco and Narcissa have to have passionate sex in front of all the Death Eaters and Voldemort.

Lord of the Manor by jadiss. Lucius/Snape, 3.2k, E. Little snippets on their relationship, from Hogwarts to death.

The Chronicles by yletylyf. 11k, M. Snape's experience as a double agent. Valuable ideas on canon plot and Snape's relationship with Voldemort. And a delicious little Bellamort moment. @yletylyf

A phantom pain by RiddleRedCoats. Bellatrix/Voldemort, 4.2k, general. Voldemort returns, finds out Bellatrix died in Azkaban, looks for her everywhere.

Real by deslea. Bellatrix & Rodolphus, 2.6k, M. The last scene of this has stuck with me among the most of any scene from any fic I've read.

Innocence by hervissa. 717 words, teen & up. Lucius finds out about Bellatrix & Voldemort. Really well-written and so funny, will never forget Lucius's reaction to the aftershave line.

a learning experience by Laeveteinn. Tom Riddle/Hepzibah Smith, 9k, teen & up. 'Hepzibah Smith is an acquired taste. Slowly but surely, Tom finds himself acquiring it.'

Adtitulo by jazminesays. Draco/Voldemort, Abraxas Malfoy/Voldemort, 144k, E, underage warning and probably non-con warning. Voldemort had a love affair with Abraxas in his youth and has Draco pretend to be Abraxas. I've read only the first half of this, not the Drarry. I love the relationships between the Slytherins, particularly Draco and Pansy, and their little traditions and human qualities and calling the alcove Candyland.

surrogate by 8623S44. Bellatrix/Voldemort, 179k, E. I need to reread this. One of the first fics I saved on AO3 and one I've always thought of as one of my favorites. What I remember most is the Voldemort POV rewrites of the scenes from Deathly Hallows. Full story of the first and second wars I think, but non-chronological.

Beauty and the Beast by Metalomagnetic. Bellatrix/Voldemort, 21k, M. One of the first fics I saved, and I have this labeled as a favorite, need to reread.

[realbeefman]

Do you have any good house fic recs? I am Struggling with my search.

for sure! although Disclaimer, i havent been reading house fanfic for very long and ive pretty much only read house/wilson so far, SO this is more of a hilson fic rec list than anything lol

Warning Signs by out_there - oneshot, 12k words, Wilson-POV, set around the end of s3. SUCH A GOOD FIC i laughed so much while reading this. genuinely delightful. possibly my fav house fic i’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.

The Line of Thought by tevinterimperium - oneshot, 12k, Wilson-POV, set after s3 e15. THEEE classic fake-dating AU. this was the first fic i read in this fandom and it absolutely fucks. im a SAP i love a good “no homo but OH GOD THE FEELINGS” plot!!

Desert Mesa Motel - 8 miles outside of Kingman, Arizona - 12:03 AM by plorp - ficlet, 1k, House-POV, post-canon. this makes me BAWL. very very good fic but SAD. and DEPRESSING. will make you CRY/pos

How Not To Be Boring by fourleggedfish - incomplete/abandoned, 497k, Wilson-POV, AU from around mid-s5. if u like whump (which i absolutely do) u will probably like this fic. if u are squicked out by sex, u will hate it bc these guys bang 24/7. this fic had me pacing, glued to my phone, sick to my stomach, crying (several times), and obliterated my sleep schedule. i can’t rec it highly enough. every chapters includes appropriate content warnings, but some major themes that appear throughout are character death (not of main characters), the aftermath of severe child abuse, and mental illness. if any of these topics are a trigger for you, please don’t read this work.

Forsake Me Here by MonsterBoyf - complete, 8k, Wilson-POV, ambiguous setting. Wilson has intrusive thoughts about mutilating House. He tries to cope. features a lot of very graphic imagery and does an excellent but extremely accurate job of portraying an OCD-spiral that could be triggering to people. i LOVE this fic i think about it so so much.

An Inconvenient Truth by anathaema - complete, 15k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. contains the quote “You’re the suicide bomber of revelations” and is one of the funniest things i’ve ever read. plus the way in which wilson’s sexuality in this fic is handled is honestly so realistic and entertaining. HIGHLY recc this to absolutely everyone who enjoys hilson

the more it took away by scribespirare - oneshot, 10k, House-POV, ambiguous setting. Omega!House has his first heat since presenting. Alpha!Wilson helps him through it. I LOVE OMEGAVERSE AND I LOVE FUCK OR DIE AND I LOVE THE WAY THIS FIC HANDLES THIS IS JUST GRAHHHH. If u don’t enjoy omegaverse u won’t like this but i can’t make a house fic rec list and NOT include this one

Aftershocks by black_cigarette - series, around 125k in total, various POV’s, set sometime post-Tritter arc. this fic IS gen, but honestly, i didn’t know that going in and didn’t realize it wasn’t a slash fic until the very end. tldr is that wilson is brutally assaulted because house has been gambling with some unsavory people, and house helps him deal with the aftermath. this fic does not pull punches. its is extremely graphic and everything wilson goes through is described in detail. it is a messy story about recovering from brutal trauma and everything that entails. DISCLAIMER: there are sequel(s) to this series available on the author’s livejournal, but i haven’t read them and can’t speak to anything they discuss.

no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare - complete, 25k, House-POV, set sometime in the early seasons. House lies about having a Jewish boyfriend to get out of visiting his mother at Christmas. Things quickly get out of hand. THIS FIC IS SOOO *tears into it with my teeth*. I love when they scheme together <3

[crippled-peeper]

anon is actually writing fanfic in my askbox about cripplepunk and making shit up to make me sound so heinous and evil and bloodthirsty and it’s literally the funniest shit ever like they genuinely 100% believe every person that’s harassed and abused me is a misunderstood, “disabled sibling!!!” of mine I should respect and listen to and be nice to

ableism doesn’t magically not exist anymore because you have joint pain, you stupid bitch. you aren’t magically less ableist because you have a cane. you’re still screaming that a quadriplegic transgender is a TERF. people are allowed to not like you for that embarrassing pathetic fucking behavior

shut the fuck up already shit stain (I blocked you 🥺🖤 uwu)

[toomoonfic]

AO3 Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @dimplesandfierceeyes! I really enjoyed this trip down memory lane.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So across my main account (jjjat3am, toomoon, boneflower, yvenger) + my hockey account (savedby), I've somehow managed 283 works.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

901 767 words. Getting closer to that million, huh.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ah, tricky question. Right now I'm writing mostly in the Thai BL fandom, if I can label it that way. According to my dashboards, I've written across 59 different fandoms.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. you're not a ghost (I'm not afraid of you) - KinnPorsche, Arm/Tankhun 2. safe (right here in your arms) - KinnPorsche, Arm/Tankhun 3. devil is in the details - KinnPorsche, VegasPete 4. how does a penguin build his house? - Hockey RPF, Crosby/Malkin 5. this life (all I know) - Black Panther, M'Baku/Killmonger

Is it weird that I didn't realize that my KinnPorsche fics had gotten so much traction? But I guess it just proves what a huge fandom that was that a rare pairing got over 2k kudos in the case of ghost.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I feel like communication with your reader is integral to building your community, and that's why I'm grateful to everyone that reaches out to me. I've noticed that I don't do it as much when my mental health takes a nosedive, which is why I still owe people replies from last year. I'm still doing it, but I hope it's not weird that people are getting replies like a year later.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm fairly allergic to angsty endings, so it took me a while of searching to get something that might fit this criteria. I'll go with some things never change, which is an Almost Human fanfic, so that's a definite throwback. It features robot death and I remember I exorcised some demons with it for sure.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much everything else? Just looking at some of the last things I've posted, holding on to patience (like a sunrise) my DBD fic was pretty much a typical Julija happy ending. In general that story is a very typical Julija fic start to finish.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not anymore, thank fuck. I did have a stalker back when I started posting hockey fic, that's why I made a whole other account, but that seems to have died down.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

I've written 12 explicit fics in total, which is just funny when you think about it. The conditions have to really be perfect for me to be able to produce, and when I do, weirdly, it's mostly like, awkward handjobs I guess. I haven't mastered the art of the smut fic yet and likely never will.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

Don't do this to me. There's only one fic I've posted that I'm genuinely embarrassed to speak about and this is it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! It's always a joy.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! Take a Chance on Me was written with @zevons and it's so close to my heart. I've done a bunch of collabs and I love them all, not just for the story but just for the connection with another author.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

This is also a difficult question for someone as disloyal as me...

I think ToddBlack has such a hold on me to this day, and it's still not totally let me go, so I'll go with that, their dynamic is so compelling to me.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

on the bridge between water and clay is never getting another chapter unless I decide that I'm really into Naruto again, which, okay, stranger things have happened I suppose.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm just the funniest person who's ever picked up a pen, personally. Strangely some people don't agree?? Weird.

I don't know, I never have a witty answer to this particular question, so funny is what I default to, because the funny moments in my fics are the ones that always stay most memorable to me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, descriptions for sure. Things like setting and what people are wearing, and the little details that really transport you to the place in a story. I don't really notice details like that in every day life so there's nothing I can base this on to improve myself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't have many thoughts, I try to generally avoid it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it must have been Lord of the Rings.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I posted hung from ladders last year and I'd have to say it's my favorite thing that I've written in a very long time. It's a horror fic I suppose, but at its core it's a story about grief and how you deal with it, and I think in so many ways I was more honest in it than I anticipated I would be. I love it for what it represented for me in that moment but I also love that while not that many people read it, I think that it really impacted the people that did and through that I really felt that sense of community that I hadn't really felt in a long time.

I don't really connect with that many people on this website, so I'm not up to date on who writes and who doesn't, but I'm tagging a few people anyway, hopefully this isn't one you've done before:

@tungtung-thanawat, @mightymightygnomepriest @grasspetty @returning-spring

[limetameta]

I want to write a fanfic with the Joker absolutely having the funniest mental breakdown of his life and title it: Yes and

Like he just Yes ands his way into even worse levels of mental tear

Genre: comedy

Like he takes a bit too far and everyone is concerned because it appears he doesn't know how to exit the bit

The bit is that he's Bruce Wayne's newest secretary and it just so happens that this whole yes and thing starts becoming a problem when he picks up Tim Drake from school. Tim Drake who sees through the disguise. And is just like oh my god I need to call Bruce.

The way I'd write this would be that the readers are very afraid that smth might happen to Tim and that the Joker may be non violent towards the kid NOW but he might escalate with the yes ands

But near the end it turns out that this is a Batjokes established fic and the Joker is just genuinely distressed about being unable to stop being the secretary because the bit hasn't had its natural conclusion. Like he'll stop when he's had enough. But now he's driving out of Gotham with Tim and they stop to have McDonald's (Tim calls Bruce to check if it's okay, Bruce tries to do that we have food at home thing and the Joker just goes off on him like HE WONT DIE IF HE EATS OUT FOR ONCE) so like you kind of get that Batman isn't rushing to save Tim (he is but he also knows that Tim won't die or get hurt, he's actually more worried about why the Joker is having an episode he can only call self destructive)

Harley Quinn tries stopping the Joker.

He's like *stapler gun pointed at her, because that's what the secretaries wield duh* WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

HQ: MISTAH J THE FUCK??? WEVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOU WHATS WRONG??? YOURE NOT OKAY

J: My name is Timmy (Tim Drake sips his McDonald's smoothie) and I am Bruce Wayne's secretary here to pick up his kid and I won't have anyone stopping me

HQ: oh my god pudding *pinches the bridge of her nose* This is all a bit, right?

Joker: OF course its a bit! But how do YOU know its a bit? *gestures to Tim and himself* I thought only the Kid and me were in on it

Tim: I'm in on it?

Joker, visibly distressed: You mean to say you aren't?? Did I just ruin the bit???

HQ: Nahhh Mistah J! The bit is still grand even if Tim here is in on it. Ain't that right Timmy Jr?

Tim: sure. *turns to the Joker* do you want me to call my dad to pick us up? Maybe you got lost driving me back home.

Joker: I am the best secretary Bruce Wayne has ever had, Mr Timmy Jr (Tim scowls), and I will not be dealing with such slander! *stomps his foot on the car* SLANDER! I am a professional. *a pause*

Tim and Harley staring

Joker, leaning back in his drivers seat: I don't know how to end the bit

Tim: We could have McDonalds again. Maybe bring a happy meal to Batman

Joker, wheezing: Oh that'd be funny. *laughter starts dying down* But not funny enough.

*they drive off, leaving Harley at the side of the road as she signals to Red and some other companions to give chase*

[ineffable-rohese]

Sounds like "Rose"

New pinned post! Cause some stuff needs updated. :)

Demographic info: Mid 40s white fat queer poly pagan genderfluid transmasc human living in the wet corner of North America. The genderfluid thing is newly realized and shiny and I’m sure I’ll be talking about it often over the next... while.

Personal (public facing): I'm an Aziraphale-coded hobbit. Like, so cozy and wholesome you might want to puke. I rewatch just the first disc of the LOTR extended edition because I love the Shire so much. I drink Earl Grey with milk and one sugar. (Or a good scotch, cause every Aziraphale needs a little bit of Crowley inside them, right Sheenie?) Outside of fic, I read mainly historical fiction, especially anything set in (actual, not fantasy) medieval Europe and I was at one point a medieval music history nerd. I wear cozy sweaters. I love rain on ferns and April flowers. I make soup with things I've tended and harvested. I work a Wholesome AF job. I unironically hug trees. I'm in love with the world.

Personal (in private): I'm kinky and loving it. I'm primarily a Sensual Sadist with a significant Dominant streak. I often play as a Panther. I love consensual violence, and get great joy from hurting people who want me to hurt them. 

Fandoms: I fell in love with Good Omens in 2000 when a college roommate gave it to me. It was genuinely the funniest, greatest thing I had ever read, and I evangelized about it to anyone who would listen. S1 of the show immediately became a comfort show, and it got me through a time of massive loss and upheaval. I put it on when everything was too hard and I needed something that made me feel like it would be OK. S2 - well we're all here still, aren't we? It dropped when I desperately needed One Good Thing for my brain to latch on to as I got through some intense pressure, and boy howdy did it lodge itself in me. (I’m deeply upset about NG’s actions, but I’m also not about to throw away something so personally meaningful because one asshole involved made some really shitty choices.)

Other fandoms in roughly chronological order: Star Wars (original trilogy made me a child nerd), X-Files (first real social fandom, and intro to fanfic!), Buffy/Angel/Firefly, LOTR, Doctor Who, Torchwood (the only other show I've been driven to write fic for). OFMD and WWDITS are great fun, though not obsessions. Any of these and more might show up.

My Writing: Writing Index Here I’ve written nearly 100K of fic in the past year! My writing signatures are vivid sensory descriptions and kinky smut. Some angst, some fluff, some really dark stuff. My Ineffables tend to be deeply in love but also kinda fucked up in their own special ways. I’m still writing, a bit slowly at the moment due to Life, but there’s some great stuff in my docs I can’t wait to share when it’s ready.

What I post/don’t post: This is my fun space filled with things that I find interesting and/or bring me joy. Expect lots of Good Omens, GO Extended Universe (aka anything Tennant and/or Sheen), queer and kink-related content, other fandom things, my writing including NSFW snippets (below a cut if I remember), fat/body positivity, cats, nature awesomeness, things that make me laugh. Posts I write off the cuff as I wake up in the morning seem to be the ones that get shared, for some reason. I almost never post about current events unless it’s good news. The world is full of fear and despair; I try to keep this space one of hope and joy. There will be NSFW content on the regular (because kink, sex, and other such adult activities are a joy for me), so if you’re uncomfortable with that, I’m not the person to follow.

Tags: Honestly, I’m inconsistent about tags so please don’t rely on my tags for your safety. I do try to spoiler tag things if it’s close to when something comes out, but other than you’re at the whims of my ADHD.

Yay! I bring back my cats as a gift for reading all of this.

[frogs-are-cool-but-so-is-medea]

HEYYY i hope you're doing well you have no idea of how happy I am to discover that you like hamlet too!! it's such a cool play and it makes me sick + i am here to spread propaganda

i don't think you've heard of it but there's a 1966 hamlet fanfic play called rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead. it's about those two background characters and the play from their perspective it's SO fucking good and philosophical and they're silly and gay. i think you'd like it. i have a pdf in English if youre interested. also like the concept of "imma rewrite this legendary play only showing what happens to the dumbasses that laugh in the background got their asses executed in England is genuinely the funniest thing ever

look at the typa shit they talk about

end of propaganda! sorry for spaming i like this play and a lot and I thought you would too + I hope you have a great day

OMG SEND THE PDF LIKE NOW HAVE AN ESPLENDOROUS DAY ILY <3

[dirtyoldmanhole]

real dweeby navel gazing time

i think one of the reasons i am having genuinely, so much fun with this gunter slowburn fanfic despite sitting at a literal 53k words rn and with it probably being close to 90k all said and done, is it's ... writing the ship i see myself in the most by far on both sides.

like, ever.

this shit is the rawest most honest shit i've ever written.

i've talked a little bit about how corrin's memory wipe stuff is literally a 1:1 to my anesthesia/childhood surgery/physical therapy conga line of bullshit. even aside from the helpful textual 'here's how this works from a medical event standpoint' there's the 'here's the emotional scars that it will leave because yes it is a bodily/mind violation of a sense, over and over, and jesus all of this of this stuff goes so well thematically to the straight up fantasy bullshit of nohr with the underpinning of being hyper-aware to the themes of "power" "use" "what it takes to survive by emotionally dragging yourself through a minefield" etc. stuff i've been ruminating over since being conscious lol.

then my body's so whack from a physical joint perspective that there's also almost word for word conversations from gunter's side that i've had with my gf about how to navigate certian shit from a kink perspective but also like... how to maintain dignity when your body's kinda physically crapping out on you due to the march of time.... without loosing the sexytimes u know?

the concept of dignity in the face of being broken is a huge theme in this fic that gets echoed. very poignant for reasons you fates players know.

amusingly there's a scene near the end where corrin's helping him to shave after his stroke. (in one of fate's "clearly having a giggle at my expense" coincidences i've been in contact lately irl with somebody who's also gone through a stroke and man is it not easy) and it's this kind of perfect blend of she's helping him, technically, with something that could just be... god awful self loathing brainspace wise for him but it turns into this amazingly hot kink scene with some serious sizzling power exchange.

the dream, man!

there is a real thin line between being able to laugh at yourself *while* keeping that dignity to pointedly.... having to not look in the mirror some days. desire and shame being some real fucked up entangled wires too, in that sense.

the tumblr uwu approved discussions re: tricky medical/'my body is crapping out on me man and i can't hide it'/kink shit and having to be ~valid~ all the time gives me the hiiiiiveeeees man (and i'm not knocking it for other people, i know why it exists, but it sends my hackles up u feel).

and yet this fic still feels like, hot, in the fun sense.

there's enough fun whacko fantasy taboo elements in it that it doesn't feel .... oh no this ain't sexy this is Too Real, you feel, or too much like a trauma fic(tm)

there's the sexy yandere villain ossan (lol), corrin herself has one hell of a sex drive (and honestly that's yet another huge focus, that wish fufillment fantasy of this 'pure fragile princess chick that's fought over like a prize by everyone else' who gets to choose 'no i actually want the hot villain kthx'. she actually rants to him several times about being fought over and having everyone else from nohr/hoshido project all the shit on her.

(and him being all, I got you, I get it.)

he actually does!!!! that's the funniest darkest most ironic thing!! he's got that weird blend of being aware enough from a kink perspective and just 'went through enough shit' life perspective of why sometimes the most sacred, profound thing you can do for somebody is to break them when they ask for it. sometimes in the dark u just want the brain wires to go bzzt.

there is a weird as hell comraderie in the sense of facing very specific demons that only they have (which, again, hilariously, goes so well with the themes of revelation! invisible enemies/demons that only you two know about.)

and then i have like yet another essay in me about how literally every character i've RP'ed is a suspiciously similar to his whole... archetype.... like all of my RP partners have gravitated to playing the chicks in the het relationships and i've always RP'd the snarky older guy going through life snarking at shit and being a closet misanthrope (there's probably some presentation/gender-aligned stuff going there but this is already navel gazey as hell lol)

anyway

tl;dr i haz feelz

[princess-of-purple-prose]

i wanna get into ORV but i still don’t understand it 😭😭

CACKLES SO FUCKING LOUDLY (Caps: cackles so fucking loudly). Ahem. [cracks knuckles]

Okay so ORV (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint) is a webnovel which is currently being adapted into a webtoon, and I really enjoy both!! But if I had to pick one, it's the webnovel no question <3 I talked about accessing both here!

I went into it completely and entirely blind except for the main character's name, which was probably the best thing I've done for myself all year, but my summary for you (which I had to stop myself halfway through and cut down for size THRICE):

ORV follows Kim Dokja, an isolated and lonely office worker whose contract is expiring and whose only (and I mean only) joy in life is a massively long, horrendously convoluted webnovel called "Three Ways to Survive in a Ruined World". He is the only reader in the entire world of this novel, as everyone else had long since fallen off about ten chapters in due to the fact that it fucking sucks-- but that means that when his subway ride home is interrupted by the world ending in exactly the way it does in his favorite story, he's also the person with the best chance in all the world to see the apocalypse through to a happy ending.

The novel, as indicated by the title and premise, is SO meta, and never in a cheesy or grating way-- ORV chews you up and spits you out with how incisively, brilliantly, and beautifully it works its themes, and every single character and character dynamic will grip you by the motherfucking throat. It is the funniest thing I've ever read and I've almost cried about it in public multiple times and I keep zoning out and staring into the middle distance during dinner because I keep having new belated realizations about its ending. It may look long and intimidating, but it doesn't FEEL long because the pacing is incredible, and also it constantly lampshades itself by acknowledging that the in-universe apocalypse is incredibly stupid and by having multiple scenes where the characters lay out past plot points in great detail and then go "wow this sucks and is stupidly overcomplicated." ORV is complex and beyond intelligently written, but it never takes itself too seriously, and it's better for it <3

ORV is hard to explain because it is so much all the time. In the best possible way, half the time it sounds like a fanfic-y fever dream. Kim Dokja IS bisexual and he IS autistic and he IS INSANE. It is impossible to encapsulate because everything I could say about it would fall short of its actuality, and Tumblr functions on recommending things through hyperbole but ORV is literally just like that. ORV is about the power of fiction and it's about meeting your blorbo in the flesh and immediately annoying him so bad he tries to kill you and it's about staggering, world-defying love of every kind and it's about your friends kinkshaming you and it's about learning to live with the fact that you deserve to live. I will, very genuinely, never be the same after reading it. This is the worst rec post in the world and I sincerely apologize. Please read ORV

[welcomingdisaster]

2, 3, 7?

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom i did 2 over here! but now since i've done two characters who i think don't bottom often, i'll do two characters that i don't think top often. again this is with the disclaimer that i tend to prefer switchy dynamics for all my ships. sooo. turgon is such a control freak in life that i think he might enjoy just laying back and getting taken care of in the bedroom (god knows he won't let this happen anywhere else). i think he'd feel a "duty" to perform at first, but if you put him with a partner that likes to make all the decisions he'd be so very relieved to fall into that dynamic in the bedroom. also for whatever reason i think finrod and amarie are this:

don't ask me why it's just vibes

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

okay big disclaimer on this that everyone has different takes and what makes me very annoyed has a right to exist in fandom. no hate intended towards the takes and people i mention, should they somehow see this. that said i AM choosing violence tonight

i see a lot of takes i dislike but only one. has made me so mad that i immediately left my house and walked five miles out of sheer frustration. and it was this, as far as i recall, their logic: "sauron killed celebrimbor before celebrimbor gave him the information he was really looking for (location of the three rings). sauron is the master of torture, and this was kind of a pretty big torture fuck-up. thus, sauron was not at his best when torturing celebrimbor, and killed him too rashly out of anger. this is later backed up by the way he treated his body. thus, celebrimbor must have done something particularly heinous to sauron. in fact, it was celebrimbor taking advantage of sauron all along. this means that feanor must have seen maiar serving in aule's forges and decided maiar were some kind of servant class, which led to celebrimbor inheriting those beliefs and being creepybadevil at sauron when they worked together" i don't think i need to dissect this take to explain how much it pissed me off. but i WILL say i am genuinely impressed with this user for managing to victim blame the victim of a crucifixion.

also i would like to say that sauron is such a cringefail loser (affectionate?) that we should be surprised about him fucking up torture. guy got beaten by a big dog & also made the mistake of killing finrod before learning anything important from him

again no hate to the user. people have drastically different takes & headcanons and favorites but god. that one got me. it really did get me.

honorable mentions go to:

that one theory i saw that someone managed to blame almost exclusively women (indis, nerdanel, and yavanna) for the conflict of the silmarils

the person who said child!fingolfin should have been a better brother if he wanted feanor to like him. this one loses "bad take" points for being the funniest fucking thing i've ever read

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

hmmm i actually think i've mostly gone the other way around? i think i mostly tend to like characters more than i did coming into fandom. that being said i weirdly don't like erestor. something about him idk

i also used to like sauron a lot more than i do now. now i'm very sauron-cautious. some of the coolest fanart and fanfic in fandom involves him and i don't wanna dismiss that, i definitely enjoy reading about him, but for some reason he's the character the MOST likely to make me click out of a fic if he feels "off" to me

[nash-bby118]

Found this Supernatural ask meme by funnycas or whoever they may be now cause god knows how old this is.

Also I’m bored as fuck at work at 4:25 AM.

Favorite male character - Crowley my beloved

Favorite female character - Jody

Favorite actor - Mark Sheppard, Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles

Favorite actress - her name escapes me but its Jody’s actress.

Favorite episode - All the monster of the weeks from seasons 1-11. Plus season 8 finale and episode before the S8 finale.

Favorite quote - “No one in the history of torture will be tortured with the torture you’ll be tortured with.” Or however that line goes. Deleted wise: “Even when I lose, I win.”

Favorite season - 1-5 plus 8

OTP - Crobby and Crowleyxmyself

NOTP - Sam and Becky

BROTP - Dean and Benny + Dean and Crowley

Favorite demon - My main babe Crowley

Favorite angel - Cas and Gabe

Favorite monster - Does Garth count considering…

How did I discovered Supernatural? - Netflix suggested it to me ages ago when season 8 either was still airing or just finished.

Have I ever been to a con? - Yep in Pittsburgh!

Make me choose between two characters - Crowley or anyone? Who do you think?

Make me choose between two ships - No.

Top 5 characters - Crowley, Sam, Dean, Cas, Bobby

Top 5 ships - I don’t have that many ships for the show

Top 5 angels - Cas, Gabe, Balthazar, Gadreel, and the douchebag Metatron.

Top 5 demons - Crowley, Crowley, Crowley, Crowley, and Crowley. I genuinely don’t care about other demons except maybe Meg 2.0

EDIT: How the fuck did I forget my boy Cain?! Especially when I talk about Psych too lol

Top 5 monsters - Ghosts, Werewolves, demons, shapeshifters, and changelings were freaky

Favorite fanfic - ….no.

Most hated character - Casifer

Favorite villain - Crowley in season 8. Lucifer in the early seasons

Character I think I’m more alike - probably Sam and Charlie

Dream crossover - Supernatural and Psych even though it makes zero sense and different channels and all.

Character death that I’m not over yet - Crowley :(

Most layered character - Crowley

Character I have a crush on - Crowley

Actor/Actress I have a crush on - Mark Sheppard

Scariest moment - Dunno off the top of my head.

Favorite moment - Crowley being hugged and thanked for once in his sad demon life. And Dean telling him family doesn’t end with blood or however that scene went.

Funniest moment - Dunno

Saddest moment - I think we all know the saddest moment for me

Most beautiful scene - when Bobby got to go to heaven

Unanswered questions: Literally anything about Crowley before season 5

Couple I’d like to become canon - None tbh

Actor/Actress I’d like to see on the show - can’t answer it’s over now

Do I own anything related to the show? - a bunch of shit I have laying around.

Do I have any tattoos related to the show? - no

Most boring plotline? - the Leviathans and season 12 as a whole

My less favorite season - 12-15

Most well done character death - Jo & Ellen

Most well done character development - Dean’s

Character I wish I could bring back - Kevin Tran

One thing I really hope to happen - Nothing since it’s over

Favorite relationship - None

Top 3 crack ships - *Shrugs*

Characters I wish they’ve met - Crowley and Charlie. Actually Crowley and anyone he hadn’t met yet.

Demon!Dean or MoC!Dean? - MoC!Dean

Soulless!Sam or BoyKing!Sam? - BoyKing

Jimmy Novak or Emmanuel? - Jimmy

Godstiel or Casifer? - Godstiel. Fuck Casifer and what he did to my husband.

Crowley or Lucifer? - Crowley

Did I joined tumblr because of the show? - No

Did I watched the show because of tumblr? - No

What characters from other shows I’d like to see on Supernatural? - Psych. Be weird with Cain and Zachariah being Lassie and Woody

Do I still like the show? - Absolutely. Even though I was done with it for several years after the season 12 finale. My recent reoccurring dreams of Crowley brought me back to it.

Did Supernatural really ruined my social life? - Did I even have one to begin with?

Is my blog just about Supernatural? - My blog literally changes with my latest obsessions.

Do I have cast members I don’t really like? - Not really

Characters that deserved better - Crowley

Am I excited for the new season? - ….

Early seasons or the recent ones? - 1-5 plus 8-10

Top 10 Supernatural blogs on tumblr that I really love - I think they are all dead.

5 things I love most about (insert character’s name here) Crowley: Hot, Charming, his accent, his beard in later seasons, He’d kill for you if you’re his friend

Human!Cas or Angel!Cas? - Angel with his wings

Who I’d like to play human!impala? - god damn I wish this happened.

Did Supernatural changed my life in any way? - Not really.

[thedevilsrain]

do you have any Eroica fics that you'd recommend?

hello 5 month old ask. i certainly do now (i'm a slow reader). mostly in no particular order

the nuclear option - this one is the creme de la creme it's my favorite ever and because it's focused on dorian (a trend here) yearning it's naturally the best in the fandom. there's some sexual tension on in the middle and sex at the end if u care about that but overall such a great fanfic love it to bits

journey - this fanfic eternally altered my brain chemistry and i was never the same after reading it. it also focuses on dorian which again makes it one of the best. it also awakened my love for tyrian persimmon. i don't like the ending though, and also warning for klaus throwing around F slurs on this one

a different sort of day - same writer as nuclear option. so fucking good. a bit of a wacky premise (bodyswap)but the author is so good they sell it completely, i Love the way that they write dorian and eberbach it's perfect to me

trains, automobiles and planes series - this one is just pure fluff and it's so cute. my favorite in terms of long series, genuinely puts a smile in my face every time i read it

operation backside - this one is klaus/Z (needn't get into the power dynamics here) nd despite the nsfw premise it's not gotten there yet. i just found this one sweet and really funny

you drift through the years and life seems tame / till one dream appears and love is its name - as the author puts it in the tags, "OC is a big sexy spyman here to fuck up the status quo". a lot of romantic/sexual tension, and i especially love this author's portrayal of dorian but especially eberbach (i can't explain it, but if you read 5 eroica fanfics and then this one you'll see what i mean). overall great writing, great premise and great ending, i love this author to bits :')

a good wife - very much nsfw (there's an underage warning, but there isn't underage sex, i think the author put it wrong). another wacky premise of dorian pretending to be eberbach's wife for his dad (edit: why the fuck did i write pretending to be his dad), but it's extremely entertaining, i find it really funny, and it has my favorite (funniest) moment i've read in any fanfic

however there's some dubious, in my opinion, portrayal of klaus' father (if you've been in my blog for a while you know how i feel about him), and the ending is pretty bad, and for it i must give a trigger warning for attempted suicide. said favorite fanfic moment below though

hesitation waltz - this one is VERY long, pretty much solely focuses on eberbach, but my friend really likes it (and him) so i'm sending it for her. hi alisa lol (this one might have slurs as well, but i can't recall)

silent night arc - despite the explicit rating, i think most of these are suggestive at most? i don't remember any explicit sex. also very long. this is another one it's more my friends wh olike it, but they're cute so they go here as well

this is all the big ones i can remember right now lol, i also have a whole plethora of trashy nsfw fanfics, both for Oh You Know reasons and also "so bad it's good" ones, but i think this list is a good start. there's a lot of eroica fanfics out there, a lot of them batshit, extremely racist and overall tasteless (trust me this isn't even scratching the surface), but these are some of mine (and my friends) favs so here ❤️🌹

[sharky-the-idiot]

been seeing all the Lilarky anons and wondering if you are genuinely uncomfortable about it because if so they can actually f off, you just gotta say the word bro

tbh the Lilarky anons are fucking hysterical. Like the fanfic that one guy wrote? Hilarious. Funniest shit I've ever seen.

[the-gayest-show]

me when i ramble again

im so crazy about every show i encounter. i turn around and i can bust out a hazbin hotel analysis while desperately begging for the beyonder to make a return while mourning the loss of tgamm

i have the desire to make a post about both things at the same while juggling a tgamm fanfic

my film studies teacher took one look at my film website (we did it for a project, but I think it's more like the formal and slightly filtered equivalent of this tumblr blog) and said "man you really like tv shows and movies huh?" and in my head im like

oh no! what gave it away! was it my MASSIVE LIST of tv shows you asked me to compile???? was it the journal where 90% of my entries are spent rambling about shows?????? DID THE BANNER I MADE WITH POSTERS OF MY FAVS HELP YOU AT ALL?!??!?!

me taking this stupid film class is so fucking funny bc we literally do the best thing in the world (analyzing movies) for homework. i was tasked to write a film journal about this movie and i did that (i apparently went above and beyond when all i did was write all my thoughts down and make a few lighthearted jabs at the teacher and movie), this is the class of all time

this teacher is also equally weird about movies and everything really. he does and says all this weird shit but it's weird like good weird like i think he might be equally as interested in movies (albeit live action ones) as i am in animation funny shit is, i feel like despite him saying he likes animation i beat him in that genre. like i could prolly name like a LOT of animated shows and movies and bro would not know one of them. i mean i mentioned hazbin hotel in passing and he was confused. i guess you have to be chronically online to knw it but it was a win. considering bro knows more live action movies than i do i think i beat him in the animation department

but generally bro's on a whole new level of weird. he'll say the most interesting shit and it's out of pocket and fucking hilarious. like he got some candies and he was like (to the students who gave it) "did you put weed in these?" idk he's just the funniest guy. best part is, i have him 2 times out of 4 per day so i get to hear his weird shit every single day and i love it. i feel like he is where i wanna be in terms of confidence and personality. he's genuinely so nice to everyone and he's also the weirdest guy ive ever met. as an autistic person i realize damn. maybe being weird is kinda fun after all. i mean who gives a shit anyway? the ppl who like you for you will come to you, and i just aspire to be at his level of weird and dare i say quirky bc he really is.

mars out!

[radical-rigatoni1]

The urge to get back into mha just to write cliche crap. Like not even lying, some of those fanfics were the funniest things I've ever read. And not in a "it was so bad" kinda way, in a "that was genuinely the best shit I've ever fucking read"

The one bed thing

The "and they were roomates"

The cool wacky future/time travel/fantasy/ healer aus

THE ANGST TRUCKS COULD BE RLLY GOOD TOO!!!

Sorry. I just have ideas. Very funny ideas