#and it wasn't working
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yvesbuprofen · 11 months ago
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I've been regularly taking melatonin lately, and I've been having the best sleep ever, unfortunately there's also the horrors (very vivid nightmares I don't want to talk about)
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beholdthemem · 4 months ago
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My fellow bitches under 5'5. Whatever the money, do not take a job working at a middle school. A fellow adult tried to put me in detention last month and would NOT give up until I showed her my badge proving Yes, The School Hired Me To Work Here. It's not meant for people our height.
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antennatoheaven · 8 months ago
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cevans-is-classic · 4 months ago
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In my dream I was restringing my Ukulele then Jensen Ackles appeared and took it from me because I wasn't doing it right.
I responded with, "Bitch hands off."
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seagiri · 1 year ago
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when did this happen???
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hero/villain showdown but one of them has a spontaneous medical emergency and the battle gets put on hold while their archnemesis drives them to Urgent Care
#it should be like. a hernia. or diverticulitis#something intestinal for maximum Awkward Scenario#and the entire car ride alternates between awkward silence and the driver lecturing their nemesis on the importance of regular check-ups#this is funnier if the hero is the one having the hernia tbh. but both options are Very Good#want to emphasize that it is a 'medical emergency ' that is clearly not extreme enough for the emergency room#and the sidekick/henchperson gets stuck in traffic so the hero/villain stays for moral support#they spend 8 hours in the waiting room playing Uno (it devolves into a screaming match)#at the end of the ordeal one of them vows to burn the hospital to the ground with their laser eye powers#and it's Not The One You Think#oh oh oh! ALTERNATIVELY:#it's an allergic reaction; one of them accidentally poisoned the other by using like. soybean derivative in a tranquilizer dart#emphasis on *accidentally*. yes they were technically fighting but That Wasn't Supposed To Happen#so now they're obligated to take responsibility and Stay In The Waiting Room#(can't decide if it's funnier if it's the hero or the villain stuck in this situation)#(probably the villain)#“why didn't you TELL me you were allergic to soybeans???”#“um because you would use it against me in combat?”#“as opposed to NOT telling me! which has worked out fantastic for you!!!”#villain being genuinely offended bc they have a biochemistry degree and have invented literally dozens of untraceable poisons#they have the scientific skill to poison their favorite jackass in hundreds of ways#(and have done so before! in admittedly non-fatal outcomes but that was by design okay)#but it's “dangerous” to do them the simple curtesy of informing them about a SOY ALLERGY????#above all else they consider themself a scientist#and they're LIVID that their favorite (reluctant) test subject lied about their medical history#“technically i didn't LIE--#“I read you the questionnaire! the very first time i held u hostage i READ YOU THE QUESTIONNAIRE!!!”#“...the what now”#“the MEDI--holy shit you weren't even paying attention were you#i had you bound and gagged over an ACTUAL BUBBLING ACID PIT and you couldn't even be bothered to--#“--so i was obviously a bit BUSY at that moment! I'm sorry i ignored your VILLAINOUS MONOLOGUING while the BLOOD WAS RUSHING TO MY HEAD but
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dovewingkinnie · 3 months ago
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where was yarnaby when the doctor got snatched
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pangur-and-grim · 2 months ago
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it's hard when you're forced into a situation with an autistic stranger (like, say, waiting for an elevator) where you're both trying to run the "how can I be a chameleon" scam on each other, and both short circuiting. it's like when ai images cannibalize themselves and start distorting into nonsense
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krysmcscience · 8 months ago
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I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.
Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:
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Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao
this is so stupid :D
Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.
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sibblank · 6 months ago
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ppl are unironically saying kamala ran a "perfect campaign", it's almost comical how dedicated dems are to never learning a goddamned thing
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technically-human · 2 months ago
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You've got so much to learn
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catsharky · 5 months ago
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Ember please you're gonna kill him
Rewinding back to the Last Light Inn cause I haven't tormented Rolan enough. Ember's got zero shame and no interest in getting dressed before breakfast (she's worked nights for 2 decades so the fact she's awake before noon is a miracle, honestly)
If Rolan didn't owe her big time she would be getting the dressing down (hah) of her life.
The Rolan Comic Part 1 • Latest part
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wwapich · 3 months ago
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surfer ace 🌊☀️
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puraiuddo · 2 years ago
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FanFiction.net is not gone.
Right now it's a victim of DNS (Domain Name Service) spoofing. This means that a malicious party is trying to steal traffic from FFn by purchasing a very similar domain.
Correction:
The new "fake" site that people are seeing still belongs to FanFiction.net—they just misconfigured their servers and are not redirecting traffic from the bare fanfiction.net to the main site at www.fanfiction.net. There is likely no malicious agent. Didn't mean to scare anyone! Just wanted to let people know the site wasn't deleted!
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So if you want to read fanfiction and not see leaves, you have have to type out "www.fanfiction.net".
Please share so people stop panicking.
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teaboot · 2 years ago
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Was gonna ask my mom to rate my fit and she didn't even give me a chance
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mollysunder · 6 months ago
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What I liked best about Jinx and Sevika's first post-Silco talk was how well it implies why their grief is so pronounced. Every complaint the two lodged at Silco was an admission at how dependent Silco had become on them, how much he LET himself be dependent. Silco didn't NEED to let Jinx give him his eye medicine, he was perfectly capable of doing so in season one's first act. The same could be said about Sevika, because while it wasn't nearly as extreme as with Jinx, he didn't need to give her so much responsibility. Frankly it's dangerous for a kingpin to give their righthand so much power (it's supposed to be spread around), and everyone noticed, even idiots like Finn.
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That's why their loss is so pronounced, in all the years they dedicated to Silco, he gave up just as much of himself to them. Silco weakened himself and trusted Sevika and Jinx to make up for it. They filled eachother out, they needed eachother, and without him there's just a hole what they all used to give eachother.
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