#and it was usually aimed at me...
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
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Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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no one will believe how disgustingly affectionate he is
#tsukkiyama#tskym#queerplatonic#as usual#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#i like it when tooth rotting platonic affection happens :)#god thinking about how much they care for each other mskes me ill.#im thinking tadashi said something snarky aimed at kei and so kei did this LOL#man#ok take them and go#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi
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fun fact: i loooooove love love kuroo tetsuro ෆ
#good morning friendz#i’m going to be up in the air shortly and the yearning is abysmal#worse than usual bc i’m Sensitive™️#and i feel like i need a hug from him yk#seeing all these business men commuting this morning in their suits makes me think of him (bye)#wanna travel with tetsu ):#going to listen to my kuromy playlist and hopefully write (unless i zonk out)#there’s no wifi on this flight sigh sigh so have an amazing day#LOVE YA !#can’t wait to be homeeeee tho ^_^#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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An Account of the First Aërial Voyage in England – Vincent Lunardi // A Pictorial Atlas of Fossil Remains – Gideon Algernon Mantell, James Parkinson, Edmund Tyrell Artis // Potorous Platyops – John Gould // Thylacinus Cynocephalus, Juvenile – Joseph Wolf // Choeropus Castanotis – John Gould // Hippotragus Leucophaeus – Joseph Smit, Joseph Wolf // Hapalotis Albipipes – John Gould // Pyrenean Ibex – Richard Lydekker, Joseph Wolf // Eastern Elk – John James Audubon // Royigerygone Insularis – Gregory Macalister Matthews, Henrik Grönvold // Sceloglaux Albifacies – John Gerrard Keulemans // Leporillus Apicalis – John Gould // Columba Migratoria – John James Audubon, J. T. Bowen // Moho Apicalis – John Gerrard Keulmans // ...Familiar Place – Lucy Dacus
for @artists-ache 💙🌹 📖
#okay so this is pretty different from my usual style#so if you don't like it just let me know and i'm happy to make a new/different edit with the same lyrics!#i was aiming for sort of a natural history/field notes type look#but idk if i achieved it 😅#natural history#extinction#extinct animals#extinct species#recently extinct#extinct birds#fossils#...familiar place#...familiar place lucy dacus#no burden#no burden album#no burden lucy dacus#lucy dacus#rose 🌹📖#request 🥰#art#art history#lyrics#lyric art#tw bones
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previous <<< 2nd wave of left hand speedrun batch☠️
#Brook#soul king Brook#one piece#llorsdood#left hand art#Llors ndh art#left hand art batch#kept better track of keeping these under 30 mins limit#sketch (minus 6 )usually have the least time amount as the aim for these speed runs#the line arts just bonus training#but trying to do very accurate clean line art very fast WINDED ME#no idea if it was the stress pressure of the time limit to me putting 90% of my brain processing power into my left hand#or something else#but I did not feel good afterwards for sure#so going easier on self to avoid that again#sad part of the time limit it doesn’t give me enough time to have fun with the outfits
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epel has the prettiest hair color hands down
#twst wonderland#twisted wonderland#epel felmier#twst epel#twst#disney twst#twst fanart#ive been inactive for a bit 😭😭😭 sorry for the unanswered asks and tags ill get to them as soon as i can!! 💖💖💖💖#it was nice coming back to see those things especially since after thanksgiving things kinda went south for me a bit 🙃🥲#so seeing all the notes and tags ive gotten was very heartwarming 😭💕#anyways this epel was very experimental#it might not look that much different from my usual stuff but the actual process of it was different#its a bit messy but thats what i was aiming for since i want more loose lines and to not worry about it too much#so yeah very simple and kind of messy but im happy with it#mirioho art
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Hi guys, this is usually what a doodle page ends up looking like <3 (oh, and @ancha-aus thought you might like this! Not writing but certainly fuel to my fire lol-)
This one is New Age filled!!! (Close-ups abd Lore beneath the cut!)
1) Night and Cross!
Night is actually very clingy once he's a teen. He doesn't usually realize it, but around the castle he'll snake to be closer to his Knights so long as there's no one he needs to keep his composure infront of is nearby. Cross is the one who's not used to physical touch (when it's not Ink ofc) so Night in his personal bubble makes his heart melt but also scares tf out of him <3
2) Error and Night's Meeting!
Error was carrying his whole life on his back and trying not to get arrested for unintentional property damage at this point, so when he saw the chance to get back at his brother and prove he was strong enough? Yeah, he got that on chance instantly. And was VERY smug when Nightmare chose him. (Also, Error is wearing gloves, so less Haphephobia)
3) Dream and Blue designs!
I think these are good tentative designs! Dream probably has a more regal fit, but he likes to play up that rugged exile look- He's inspired by Archers, while Blue takes on that classic Knightly-vibe. Their equipment is mostly stolen from Night's troops or brought with them from Blue's home kingdom.
Also, Dream is approx Killer's height at this point, shorter than Cross and *much* shorter than Apple!Nightmare. (Hc that Skeletons tend to be tinier in stature thanks to weird monster beauty standards. Horror and Geno's fam are outliers.)
4) Horror and Dust designs!
Horror is naturally a very *large* monster. He's very malnourished when Nightmare meets him, but by the time he's a Knight Nightmare has made sure that's no longer the case. He actually loves comfy, simple clothes, but to play up the whole 'strong mysterious' bit he wears a more barbaric Knight's garb. He doesn't mind acting scary, it's more fun that way :]. Dust is very very small, and envies horror sometimes for his size, but his tiny stature let's him control his body and move a lot quicker. He's very much based on a rogue, and usually covers the lower part of his face w/ a black cloth, and the upper part w/ his hood or mask. Dust only removes both to bathe, eat, or relax in a safe location. (Ignore that I can't draw the stupid gaster blaster lmao-)
These last two were space-fillers, but Cross and his Borzoi (Windmill, otherwise known as Milly (Killer named her-)) and really bad first wips of Ccino! I think Ccino was a chubby, happy toddler, but lost a lot of 'weight' (bone mass? Magic?) due to stress and pressure and bad eating habits. So it isn't until a while after the Coronation that he starts to relax abd feel safe enough to eat normal meals (Nightmare used to guilt him into eating snacks together, but as his boss (and younger brother) he can encourage it more often). By the time Killer shows he's still not quite healthy, but he's better. As more weight is lifted off his shoulders, the better he is. (That 'beauty' most people saw was a more stereotypical slimness, but Killer never stopped seeing Ccino as beautiful-) I think he never looked traditionally underweight, so no one noticed, and it was only much later that Night processed it. (And maybe it's why Dream hardly recognized him later on-)
#new age au#I love showing mundane life things-#and also these designs beamed into my brain#I can't draw Ccino for anything but the others? yeag#Blue is definitely my fave. and just like every au I will draw Blue perfect the first time and draw Dust 6 billion times 😔#Horror is kinda banger too tho#makes me laugh to imagine Horror picking up Dust mid-fight out of convenience and Dust weighs nothing to him#(also this size difference is exactly why Dust and Horror fight in the non-magic training. and why Horror accidentally obliterated his#shoulder later on lmao- Dust needs to be able to dodge any enemy. Horror needs to aim for small and quick targets.)#(Meanwhile Cross is the newest and Killer the oldest and if Cross adapts to Killer then he'll adapt to the others more easily.)#oh! and Ccino w/ his arc? I think I really like the idea of a Ccino with a plump body-type. but that conflicts with my vidion of Ccino kinda#losing track of eating and being co-erced by adults to skip meals just enough to make him the 'right amount' of curvy#so when Nightmare takes over it's a habit he's so used to he hardly notices that he's doing it. but. Night picks up on it because Ccino is#almost akways with him. their relationship is very much Ccino giving his life to help Night#but it's also Night recognizing that and giving it back to Ccino along with more the moment he can#just smth smth this au is full of fit and exercized people and I think Ccino deserves some comfort and healing and positivity <3#also I am SO fond of Nightmare getting up in people's bubbles. he does it most to Killer and Ccino for obvious reasons but#god forbid a noble be talking behind his back because he *will* twist around and shove under his knight's arms or sides just to#read them the riot act or stare them down <3#and I think when he was an adult Night was... kinda like the big brother? like. not an experienced one by any means. but he wasn't *not*#affectionate then either. he was better at being serious about it and more discreet. but like#Nervous Cross escorting him in public? Night nudges his shoulder briefly with a Tendril to try and comfort him. Dust having a magic overload#? personal Training against just Night so there was no risk of harming anyone else. then snacks and tea after.#Horror is homesick? Woah look at that a scheduled trip back to visit with Crop and side-track back to Horror's village? huh?? wild...#Killer upset at all? Night will find a solution. just you wait. a cat. two cats. perhaps even a cat in a little sweater? or y'know. just a#chat or a combat?#Nightmare showed his affections but was just more distant about it.#Oh also. all four were used to tendrils lifting/tugging them subconsciously. usually during trainings to avoid them hurting eachother by#mistake in their early days. Killer misses it sometimes
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youtube
youtube
youtube
youtube
#I aimed for the more DISTINCT different themes#SURPRISE OPTION: the jazz album#looking these up reminded me of how my MH friends and I usually used the romanized Japanese pronunciation of monster names#you know back when info was scarce and localization into english took more time#ngl Narugakaruga has more BITE than nargacuga#more fun to say#never forgetting jinouga#also I'm HELLA biased and already know which version I'm voting for#monster hunter#monhun#nargacuga#monster hunter chatter#narugakaruga#reminder: if you don't want these more casual silly posts you can block monster hunter chatter#Youtube
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My Accolades
#not art#this is actually maybe not Super Plausible if the cannons are actually old school style lmao.#they often used a long matchstick thing that burns a Lot slower than usual. thats where ''fire in the hole'' came from#what I imagine and kinda force it to work is riz flicks the embers from his cig into the vent. and thats a hot enough fire to light a canno#I know Ive been here for uhhhh ten seconds but u guys must know what my deal is by now lmao. its like this forever#anyways its cool so it has to be real. that boy was Aiming AND Lighting those things all by himself. he was doing some insane stunts#to get that to work he weighs like five pounds soaking wet and you Know those cannons are not securely latched down#gods to think of it. that means kristen and k2 were risking it all for real hanging out on the gunner deck#it truly is Big Bill Hell's Ship out here Im so sorry girls. Im so sorry kristen#Im so sorry k2........#anyways if u ask me how this works 1/it just does 2/shut up 3/dont talk to me ok? ok#My Accolades. I get to have this
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I've been going though our submissions today and there's some real good stuff in there :D but also there's only like 3 art submissions (compared to like 25 writing submissions).
Historically, most of our art submissions have come from tumblr users, so I'm calling on y'all: please submit your chicken art! We all love to look at cute doodles, pretty paintings, and other wonderful art alongside the excellent pieces of writing! Come enshrine your art in the hallowed halls of COOP! You can (and should) still submit if you've already posted your art on social media (BAWKtober participants I am looking at you!)
If you don't feel like you're very good at art, please know that some of my favorite pieces of art we've accepted are little doodles :)
#chickens#trying not to sound too desperate but tbh the idea of an edition with an 8:1 ratio of writing to art is making me kinda sad!#we usually aim for between 1 to 2 pieces of writing for every 1 piece of art
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drawing various beafts from bad written descriptions
#my art#illustration#monster art#a rare non-oc post from me#sorry 4 absence i will aim to post more often#also i'm gonna make a doodle blog so look out for that if you are interested in my wips and such :^)#i got so stuck in the composition of this one because I didn't plan ahead (as usual)#so drawing the beasts themselves took less time than trying to figure out if i wanted a background or more beasts or how to organise them#anyway i took inspiration from the old masters for this (monks trying to make bestiaries from word of mouth descriptions)
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my brother really made me spend my new years doin this cause he wanted the moon knight skin. he doesnt even care about my pookie. he doesnt even know thats my pookie (even though the version of him in this game sucks i hate it)
kidnapping me to feed your cosmetic hoarding is evil :[ at least he'll get the skin now and leave me alone (you just have to reach gold rank)
#god. ranked in this game. nightmare. nightmare. took me 65 games to get to GOLD........ worst dps players i have ever seen#what you see here is me locking tf in with luna snow. OP character.#its the only way i could carry hard enough#mantis is better if your other healer is competent cause you can go crazy on the dps like zen in OW#but usually theyre not. so luna is better in most cases#just heal bot and pray i am better than the enemy flankers cause the only person looking out for me is my brother on tank#worked pretty well#but holy shit. back when i played OW ranked i was gold-plat without any real issue#i dont like to sweat. this game. Damn it makes you sweat#youre sweating in bronze cause EVERYONE starts at the same rank. bad system.#silver III was the worst though. we were stuck there for days. silver II-gold III went smooth when i started insta locking luna#im not a particularly good player its just that i can aim slightly better than flankers expect lol get frozen idiot#i was trying to heal bot as cloak and dagger but the dps are just soo ass i switched to mantis to get to silver#then mantis wasnt enough healing and i went luna#i hate playing tank in this game. really boring.#which is sad cause in OW i only played tank/heal but i feel like i can only play 3 chars in this game#that being luna mantis and rocket (and hes not great. but the rez is good and enemies at these ranks struggle to aim at him)#adam is the closest to my OW main (zen) but its too dangerous to play him unless your dps actually have brains#anyway. goodnight
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happy saturday my lovely friendz ! i am spending the day baking bread and making soup so come on by whenever you’d like and i’ll make sure you have some :3
#cw food#making a loaf of italian bread and beef barley stew ^o^ it was number one on my rec list so !! starting there hehe#taking a break rn bc i was chopping onions and it took my soul#usually it doesn’t get me so bad but it was so many onions WAH#shrek didn’t prep me for this 😓#i hope you all have a wonderful day ^_^ !!#will be on laterzzz to yap more hehe#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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Headcanons of BB Wolffe being a biter are OUT! BB CROSSHAIR being a biter and throwing the biggest temper tantrums are IN! He was the biggest brat in all of Tipoca City! Nala Se and any other caregivers probably got a binky thrown at them A LOT from BB Cross.
He only...somewhat mellowed out later in life...but is still a brat...
There is nothing that will change my mind on Crosshair being the youngest of the bad batch. Like at first I was just like oh yeah he’s the youngest, but then I read some fics and he was the youngest there and I was like that’s it he’s def the batch baby.
#The Bad Batch#Bad Batch Crosshair#Bratty BB Crosshair#Yes the image of this toddler with squishy chubby baby cheeks a head of silver curls trying his BEST to death glare#it doesn't work....#Also speaking somewhat from experience because my sister is the youngest and was a HUGE brat as a toddler and WOULD throw stuff.#and it was usually aimed at me...
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Normally I don't plan my reading in advance, because I simply follow whenever my fancy leads me, but this challenge seems fun! 25 books I want to read in 2025 - let's go.
(I've been missing the classics recently, so this list is a bit classic-heavy. Also I ended up being unable to keep it to 25. Oops.)
Color coding:
pink = fiction
green = nonfiction
An asterisk means it's a book I already own in physical form.
As I read books on this list, I will italicize them.
1. Willa Cather - My Ántonia
2. Gabriel García Márquez - One Hundred Years of Solitude
3. Timothy Snyder - On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century
4. Han Kang - Human Acts
5. Geraldine Brooks - Horse
6. Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone - This Is How You Lose the Time War
7. Ruth Kinna - The Government of No One: The Theory and Practice of Anarchism
8. John Steinbeck - The Grapes of Wrath
9. Virginia Woolf - A Room of One's Own
10. Leslie Feinberg - Stone Butch Blues
11. Mary Doria Russell - The Sparrow
12. Banana Yoshimoto - Kitchen
13. Howard Zinn - A People's History of the United States
14. Betty Smith - A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
15. Fyodor Dostoevsky - Notes from the Underground
16. Upton Sinclair - The Jungle
17. Jorge Luis Borges - Labyrinths*
18. Olga Tokarczuk - Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead
19. Akwaeke Emezi - Little Rot
20. Naomi Klein - No Logo
21. Hengameh Yaghoobifarah - Ministerium der Träume
22. Kim de l'Horizon - Blutbuch
23. Yaa Gyasi - Homegoing*
24. Susanna Clarke - Piranesi
25. E. M. Forster - Maurice
26. Richard Adams - Watership Down
27. Ursula K. Le Guin - The Left Hand of Darkness
28. Henry James - The Portrait of a Lady
29. Mikhail Bulgakov - The Master and Margarita
30. Frank Herbert - Dune
Additionally, I'm going to tag on a second goal list. My "currently reading" pile has become way too huge, because I have a fickle heart and tend to hop around from book to book (or, as Bertie Wooster would say, I "flit and sip" like a butterfly). So I'm aiming to finish at least five books that I already started in 2024:
1. Albert Einstein - Essays in Humanism
2. Daniela Dröscher - Lügen über meine Mutter
3. Priscilla Murolo & A. B. Chitty - From the Folks Who Brought You the Weekend
4. Frantz Fanon - Black Skin, White Masks*
5. Simon Blackburn - Think: A Compelling Intro to Philosophy*
#25 in 2025#reading challenge#booklr#books#reading#cosmo gyres#actually i own several more of these in physical form than are marked with asterisks#but they're stored away in boxes somewhere in another country :(#i miss my old book collection#my current one is so much smaller#return to this#also yes i am adding books in only two languages to my reading list this year#that may seem a bit sad to those who know me but don't worry!#i'm still planning to read in various languages as usual#but i don't want to aim too high and start stressing out about something that's supposed to fun
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sometimes you have nothing left to lose and everything to gain so without even choosing to do so you end up being more authentic and shameless than ever before. and when you do things it feels like an actual human being, an actual being completing tasks, and those tasks feel like ghibli movies, they feel like domesticity, and even if you live alone it's like you live with a roommate who is always there for you (yourself, your truest self) and before you know it you're thinking of that being living within you, that being you repressed, as your self, as your body, and you forget the fake mask you thought was yourself for years and years because others liked you better that way.
suddenly, when you care about other people's opinions, you start having standards about which people's opinions you hold onto, and you still find yourself placing your ideas as #1 on your list of priorities, because who else knows you better? who else has lived in your shoes, in your mind? only you have. others are simply making assumptions about what's going on in your mind and in your life. even your beloved spouse or bestest of friends would still not know what you are truly like deep down unless you tell her. only you are there for yourself 24/7, and only you know your entire journey from within!
choose yourself!!! choose yourself above everything else!
choose to put out there who you truly are, warts and all. because there is not a single flaw or trait or quirk in yourself that you would never find endearing and lovable and harmless in someone else. the greatest shame is being a hypocrite and inauthentic to the weird, scrungly, beloved creature you truly are. you are so human. you are so strange yet so normal. you are a breathing, living being. there is nothing wrong with you that you are incapable of welcoming with warm, open arms; chances are, you have already done so with others. you are your own cheerleader, trusted advisor, and closest friend. it's time to have that frenemies to soulmates arc with yourself. see it as a 2025 challenge. stop being the mask, begin simply existing.
#lay text#idk this is mostly @ myself#i have become more authentic than i ever imagined#and it's scary!!! it really truly is#but i can't help it anymore#maybe it's growing older and closer to my 30s idk#but it's so freeing and exhilirating and daunting#idk what the fuck i'm doing. but i'm learning that no one really does. everyone is just winging it and hoping for the best#and it's MY journey#i can be a broke writer/youtuber/activist aiming to someday be a filmmaker and a scriptwriter and a whole bunch of crazy shit i would love!#i can have the biggest dreams ever!!!!!!!! no one can stop me!!#i don't need to follow the usual path people take!#if i need to be broke to slowly further my dreams so be it#i KNOW i'm capable of achieving them#idk where that strong confidence comes from and it might all be delusional but i'm so 1000% sure of it somehow. so fuck it! yolo!#i'll still do translation/transcription ofc. but i have priorities and i chose ones that others see as childish. and that's fine!#no one needs to understand me except myself#i don't need to give excuses to anyone!#i also can be a scrungly chaotic adhd gremlin#and the right people will love me for it!!!#2025 will be so crazy and i'm so excited for it!#ponderings
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