#it was nice coming back to see those things especially since after thanksgiving things kinda went south for me a bit 🙃🥲

[mirioho]

epel has the prettiest hair color hands down

[broadwayandnetflix]

OMG- BO FIC REQUEST

a fluffy fic where he takes you out to a fancy dinner. picks you up at your house & meets your parents, driving to the place, all that pizazz- and more if you decide to write! Im a big fucking sucker for the romantics as you can see LMFAO.

Meet The Parents - Bo Burnham x Reader

Warnings: Language

Theme: Fluff! Slight bit of Angst.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: picture this as like his what tour cause it fits up with the college timeline hoes. also, I hope you like that I added an airport, cause rom-com shit amirite? I’ll stop. wooooooo this is so long. I hope y’all like essays cause fuck.

It had been too long since you had last seen your boyfriend, Bo. The two of you had met in college at NYU briefly before he dropped out to pursue his comedy career.

Of course, you have been supportive. Why wouldn’t you be? You just really missed him, especially when he went on long tours, you in school, and him touring the world.

The two of you kept in touch. Bo often taking the time to call you before or after a show to hear your voice and call himself down. You knew what they did to his anxiety, and not being able to hold each other was difficult for the both of you.

He’d do the same for you, without a shadow of a doubt. Especially when school was stressing you out, and exams and essays were becoming a pain in the ass to handle. Even if it was just little funny texts or messages, he helped you.

It’s what you did for each other. You were a team, even if it was states away from each other. Except, luckily for you, his tour was ending soon. Or it should be, judging by the tiny calendar of dates that he gave you.

It was nearing Thanksgiving Break, and it just didn’t seem applicable that you’d be able to meet up in time. Given the short week window and Bo riding down from nearly a year of touring.

So you didn’t say much, as you packed your bags for the week and left for your home state.

The airplane ride wasn’t that bad. You wished that you had Bo beside you, cracking jokes to calm the inevitable way that your heart would jolt when you went up in the air. Unlike Bo, you absolutely hated flying.

Earbuds in, you strolled into the airport a tad bit jet-lagged and went to grab a bite from a small coffee shop. Slipping the cashier a twenty, you walked the airport in search of your luggage.

Through a sea of people, you trudged, already feeling fatigued and just wanting a nap. You didn’t even realize that you were gonna run smack dab into someone. That is until their hand shot up and held you steady.

You laughed pathetically and cringed quickly, going to apologize, hoping that the person who caught you would just keep moving on. Except, they still stood in front of you, silent as ever.

“Hey man look I’m so sorry, I’m just so tired I didn’t even see where I was going.” you mumbled before realizing just who you were speaking to.

Bo.

You froze, staring at the man in pure confusion. How was he here when he was supposed to still be on tour? You rubbed your eyes, wondering if he’d still be there when you reopened them.

News flash, Bo was still there. Fuck.

“Holy shit,” you murmured, realizing your hands were still full with your bag, phone, and lunch.

God, you were gonna cry; this wasn’t happening. He looked so fucking good, the glasses, the hair.

He watched you quietly, a soft smile resting upon his lips. While you clumsily pull on his arm to get out of the ongoing traffic of people around you, preferably a spot with a place to put your stuff.

Your tall boyfriend lumbering after you unbeknownst to you, trying to compose himself. It had practically been months since he had seen you last, and you had never looked more beautiful.

Once you set them down gently, you practically ran into the man’s arms. His bags gently fall to the floor as his arms are securely wrapped around you. Nearly lifting you off the ground.

The two of you rocked gently in the embrace, completely lost in each other. Bo resting his head on top of yours, pressing soft kisses upon your head. Tears softly pour down your cheeks and onto his shirt. Giving him enough time to wipe them away and plant a soft kiss against your lips.

“Bo, what are you doing here? I thought you were still on tour.” you sniffled, still wrapped up in his arms.

“Managed to make things work, I wanted to see you. Or I was gonna try and surprise you at the gate, but you kinda…ran into me.” Bo smirked, looking down at you.

“Well you definitely surprised me, man I really missed you.” you said quietly.

“Honey, you don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this moment. I swear my agents are probably sick and tired of me talking about you.” he exclaimed, causing you to smile.

This long-distance was really starting to get to the two of you; of course, his tour was gonna be over soon. Except, especially two different states away from each other, it made your heart hurt.

Moments like these, you wanted to just pause the time and exist in them forever. It seemed like between the two of you, you were running out of time. Just how much time exactly?

It was almost as if he could sense the hesitation as he swept up his bags and yours in the process.

“Just realized, we’ve got places to be.” he chirped, and you eyed him curiously.

“Like where?” you said, grabbing your coffee and bag from the coffee shop.

“Patience is a virtue my dear.” he tuts and slips his hand between yours. “Now, where’s your luggage terminal?”

-

It was roughly a forty-minute drive from the airport to your place. Bo had rented a car for the next couple of days, so it was smooth sailing from that point on.

Bo behind the wheel, and you are sitting in the passenger trying to figure out what music to play.

It didn’t help that you were in the car with a comedian, as whatever song you picked, Bo would pretend to critique it. Only sending you into a fit of hysterics.

“Oh okay, well you pick the music then!” you cried, pretending to stare daggers at him.

“I’ve got something for you, it’s this brand new artist I found while on tour.” he grinned, looking over at you briefly before focusing back on the road.

“His name is….Bo Burnham I think? I could be wrong? He was good-“ he said nonchalantly before earning a quick swipe to his arm from you.

“God, you look cute when you’re angry. You’re missing out on that Bo Burnham guy, he’s got potential.” he said.

“I hate you.” you giggle before finding a more comfortable position in the car.

“Oh shit you know what I just realized?” Bo yelped, causing you to slightly jolt in your seat.

“What?”

“Isn’t this the first time I’m meeting your parents?” he asked, causing you to slightly stiffen in your seat.

Technically, yes. It wasn’t like your parents didn’t know, it’s more so that there was never really a good time for them to meet. You wondered what they’d think, dating someone who dropped out of college to pursue comedy.

Not that your parents were judgmental. They wanted you to be happy, as any parents would. You just were worried if they wouldn’t respect and love Bo as much as you did. It had been close to two years at this point; what else did you have to lose?

“You are right, oh dear god. I wonder how that’s gonna go, hopefully well, right?” you ask, more so to yourself than Bo.

“Oh please, I’m great with people’s parents. Plus, they raised you, I’m sure they are great people. Babe, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” he reassured before continuing on the route.

-

It wasn’t long before he pulled into your family driveway, pulling the car into park, quickly placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“You ready?” he says quietly, looking at you sweetly.

You eyed the front door before looking back and meeting his eyes, nodding, as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss.

God, you missed those.

“Here goes nothing.” you smirk before slipping out of the passenger side and gather your bags.

Bo now follows suit as you knock on the door, his taller frame towering over you. One hand pressed on the small of your back, holding you steady.

The front door opens with a swing, with your mother greeting you at the door. A firm grin upon her lips as she rushes out to hug you, your father appearing behind her.

“Oh I’m so glad you were able to come home! We missed you so much!” she exclaims, squeezing you tighter.

Before giving you a slight nudge and knowing look towards Bo, who had remained oblivious, while he shook hands with your father.

All of you gather inside your house, Bo taking control of the conversation when acceptable.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, your parents are engulfed in his stories and laughing at his jokes. All the while getting to know the man that you loved so much.

Bo was pretty much a natural when it came to impressing others, and you knew it wasn’t gonna be an issue with your parents.

The two of you answering almost any questions, Bo excitingly telling the story of how the two of you met.

-

“Oh I almost forgot, I need you to do me a favor.” Bo murmured when the two of you had a moment to be alone.

You looked up at him in confusion before he mentioned something about dressing up nice. A knowing look upon his lips before giving you a slight wink and walking off towards the guest room.

There you stood, gaping like a fish in wonderment at what he possibly could be planning. Slowly walking into your childhood bedroom, looking for anything that would meet his description of nice.

You settled for something that you wore to a formal gathering that still managed to fit you. Giving yourself a quick look in the mirror, you left your bedroom to find Bo standing there.

You had to hold back a gasp; the man looked rather handsome in a dress shirt and pants. His hair was nicely done, and his hand gestured out for you to take.

“Bo what is all this for?” you exclaim, as he only smirks and leads you towards the front door.

“Shut up, I’ve been wanting to take you out for months.” he says as he opens it and leads you towards his car.

The man practically doing the whole nine yards, all the while you looking at him in pure wonderment. Of course, the two of you had been on dates prior, but never like this.

You had to practically stop yourself from grinning as he suavely got into the driver’s side of the car., Giving a quick glance over at you unbeknownst to you, trying not to melt at how gorgeous you looked.

“Where are we going?” you ask as he starts the car slowly pulling out of the driveway.

“You ask a lot of questions my dear.” he says, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

“Oh shit is this my execution?” you smirk as he dramatically nods.

“Babe, how the hell did you find out? Who told you? Was it my manager? I knew she’d rat me out!” he exclaims.

“You know I had to be certain, you did make me dress up all nice and all.” you play along, grinning ear to ear.

“Oh well, I can’t give away the entire surprise so zip it with the questions sweetie.” he quips as he continues the drive.

-

It’s not long before he pulls into a fancy Italian restaurant, way out of your usual pay range. You could feel your stomach do somersaults, giving the man an incredulous look.

Bo simply grins as he gets out of the car, rushing over to open yours for you. Eyes wide, still staring at him like he was fucking insane. He shakes his head and carefully pulls you out of the car.

“Now no complaints. Or whatever you plan to do. I’m paying, I’ve been wanting to treat you like this for over a year now. I’m doing it, and I’m gonna enjoy doing it.” Bo huffs, all dignified.

You simply nod in disbelief before he slips his hand within yours. While he enters the restaurant, he mentions his reservations to the hostess, and they seat you at a table.

Once the butterflies subsided in your stomach, you took the attention of the man in front of you. Never had anyone done something like this for you. You were trying to not look like a genuine fool with the smile you wanted to express.

You knew he was the one for you, but the way that he had looked at you. The pure adoration in his eyes and how he had planned everything, you were practically melting.

“I love you.” you whisper, wondering if he could hear it.

He did.

Bo looked up from his menu, a blush now practically kissing his cheeks. He dimples, rising at the declaration before reaching across the table since he was large enough to kiss you gently.

He was quick enough as the waitress came over to take your order. That goofy lovesick grin still plastered across his face as he straightened up in his seat.

The two of you ordering whatever looked best on the menu, clinking glasses when they arrived and looking dreamily into each other’s eyes.

“Man, I missed you. Like I know I say it a lot, but I mean I did. Going on tour is….well it’s lonely. I know you’re still in school, but sweetie. When I’m done, you’ll be sick of me. I promise.” Bo said insistently.

“No I won’t, I’m sure it’s gonna be the other way around. I don’t know if I say it enough, but I really am proud of you. I am so proud to call you my boyfriend, to call you mine. I don’t mind waiting.” you say quietly.

“How did I get so lucky?” he paused, eyeing the plates of food that were coming your way.

“Thank NYU, they did all the work.” you joke, thanking the waitress before digging into the meals.

The food was excellent; it was incredibly worth the price. Even if it was steep, the dinner was lovely. Bo is cracking jokes and telling you his favorite fan encounters that have occurred since his tour began.

It was hard to believe that the man who was often so quiet and shy could be so loud and brave enough to yell at hecklers. Except you could believe it, you had obviously been to one of his shows.

It made your heart begin to flutter at the fact that he wasn’t afraid to be himself around you; it made you feel secure.

The way his stage presence dominated the scene, it was practically impossible to keep your eyes off of him. No matter the situation.

Even now, his eyes glimmer while he tells you whatever story he had dug up. This was his passion, and you reveled in it all.

The night went well as the two of you caught up, knowing it would be quite some time before he’d meet up with you again. As he too had Thanksgiving to celebrate with his family in Massachusetts.

You shared a nice dessert, and he left a rather hefty tip simply because he could. Bo never made it necessary to note that he had money, but you knew he was excited to spend it.

All the while, you spent the night in a dizzying smile. Not giving a shit whether anyone knew it or not, even in the parking lot. The two of you waltzing messily towards the car, giggling and sputtering like a bunch of fools.

He was your fool, and you were his, who knew how long you’d have with him for now. You were destined to make the most of it.

Even as the ride home dwindled and you knew he’d have to catch a flight soon. You weren’t surprised or shocked even; days with him tended to be like this.

As the two of you reached your front door, Bo carefully leaned down to a comfortable position and kissed you softly. Not desperately, just tenderly. As if by the time he’d kiss you again, you’d simply wouldn’t be there.

His lips grazing yours, hands pressed carefully against your cheeks. You reciprocating all the while leaning into him in a warm embrace.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, he gave you a look that you knew all too well.

“I’m not saying goodbye.” you whisper into his arms.

“I’ll be back soon don’t worry.” he murmurs into your embrace.

With one last kiss on the forehead, you watch as he walks back to his car. Judging by the way his schedule worked, you knew he’d be back sooner than he would in the past.

Yet, with the soft ‘I love you’ said between the two of you couldn’t help but shed a tear and just hope that the next time would last longer.

[crybabykiko]

I'm not sure if u take requests but if u do could u write a NSFW alphabet for Issei?¿ ♡

So lemme tell you something- I got this req and the first thing that came out of my mouth was BIIIIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHHHH

And I proceeded to scream cry and yell about this for idk how long. I put so much thought into this- I literally wrote it in almost one night completely. I have SO much to say about this man. My Issei brainrot is only fueled by my stupid horny Pisces brain- WHICH HE ALSO HAS god bless him. Anyway enough about me this turned my mind into soup and it all fell out of my ears enjoy ur fucking horse cock

NSFW Alphabet- Matsukawa Issei

No thoughts head he. 😌

gn!reader focused, obviously nsfw....

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Best Service Dom. Best Dom EVER. Anything you want you get, you have to only say the words. Food? Already ordered so it would be there by the time you finished. Cuddles? His arms are wide open and his body is very warm. Sit in a bubble bath and scroll through your favorite online stores? The bath is nice and warm and his credit card is at your disposal. He takes amazing care of you, and will stop at nothing to make you feel secure/safe/happy at all times..

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

Welll…. I… we all know what it is. I’ll explain more later but in addition to that he also has the most amazing arms/abs. He’s very lean, definitely naturally so. Doesn’t need to work out but does so anyway keep toned.

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Likes to cum inside you, but simply so that he can watch it ooze out of your hole. Sometimes he’ll even keep fucking you after he’s finished to see himself push it back in even after it’s out.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

I hate adding this but he has a foot fetish. Not like a hardcore creepy kind of foot fetish- he just likes to suck a toe here and there. But only if they’re freshly pedicured… he’s very picky. He’ll give foot massages all the time tho if you ask him. He just never tells anyone about it because he knows his friends will clown him.

Not ur foot but close enough he would get you one of those little golden name anklets and kiss it every time he lifts your leg over his shoulder. 👀🦋

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

Absolutely. He’s done a lot in his life, and is not short on any stories of past encounters. He is kind of a sex encyclopedia, but he’s very casual about it. If you bri bc up something you wanna try, 11/10 times he’s going to not only have done it, but be able to suggest ways for you to make it better- with several anecdotes.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Doesn’t just like doggy- it is his lifeblood. It’s easier for him to control your movements while also making sure that he can bury himself all the way inside. He can have a vice grip on your hips one moment, his fists full of your hair the next- and if he starts spanking you well… that’s between you two and god.

He does like plain old missionary too, but only bc he can see himself in your tummy.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

It makes him laugh sometimes when you struggle to take him all at once. He thinks it cute that you try, but it’s hilarious how big your head gets sometimes. He has to fuck you dumb and remind you that you can’t do that.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

Trims, but not super short. He does wax his happy trail tho bc it makes him self-conscious.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖞

Can actually be very romantic if he wants to. He is a Pisces, after all. He does enjoy foreplay and the sensuality of that to get you prepped, and he takes extra care to make sure you’re fully ready. He is going to be hard on you, but understands that he has to take good care of you, and he does

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

Daily. At least once. It keeps the stress away and livens his mood. He does it as soon as he wakes up, and then if he’s having a really hard day or difficulty sleeping, he can do it to ease his nerves.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Size, obvious because everyone is smaller than him Skdkfkf he’s a giant. He’s 6’2 and his cock is at least 3 feet of that.

Daddy Kink, self explanatory mostly. It’s just so fucking sweet on his ears, his baby cooing for their daddy, trying so hard to work his entire cock into their tiny hole, trying to be so good for him… he loses it every time.

Voyeurism, likes watching you touch yourself. He finds it amusing how you think you can get yourself there without his help. You both know that’s impossible, but it turns him on to see you try.

Praise, again- he loves to make you feel special. And you work so hard fitting all of him inside, he has to tell you how good of a job you’re doing, especially because he’s appreciative of you letting him impale you. He has to let you know.

Mutual Masturbation, Kinda goes with voyeurism. If you’re away from each other, you’re definitely going to have sex via FaceTime- he just wants to see you, and also wants you to see him. To him, it lets you know you’re the only one that can get him there, and that your presence alone- even if he’s not touching you, is more than enough.

Lingerie, Loves nothing more than seeing you all pretty for him. He also just really likes the feeling of lace or silk against his fingertips He can get out of control and rip your sets tho- but don’t worry, death is a very lucrative business- He will buy you several replacements.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

LOVES car sex. If the mood strikes, he WILL pull over. But really, he’ll take it wherever he can get it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He’s very eager to please. A little lazy, yes, but at his core he wants to make sure you’re feeling good.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He has done literally everything at least once and the one thing he just can’t get into is piss. One bad experience and a 3 month uti later he’s sworn off it for good.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Not his favorite. He could honestly go with or without it personally, just because there’s so much of him. But he will happily fuck your throat if you want him to, and will go down on you for hours to make sure you’re truly prepped. For someone who’s not a big fan of it, he’s actually AMAZING with his mouth. It’s lazy but in the best way possible.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

Starts off slow so you’re good to go, but will pick up the pace as you stretch out. He does enjoy a few slow deep thrusts in between drilling you into oblivion tho. He never tries to make your guts into a smoothie on purpose, it just kinda happens that way.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He will never say no to quickie. The amount of fast food bathrooms and abandoned parking lots you’ve seen is astronomical. The amount of times Makki has kicked you out of his apartment for trying something while he goes to the bathroom is even higher.

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

He's the classic degen. bf who reaches across the table at the same time as your dad when you go “daddy can you pass the salt?”

So yes, he’s definitely going to tease you under a table at thanksgiving dinner.

He’s really going to have you whenever he wants- even if it comes at the expense of your pride/morals sometimes.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Can go on forever if you let him. Will overstim you to hell and back before he even thinks about cumming. Doesn’t even know he’s doing it- he’s so used to fucking you brainless that he doesn’t realize it’s too much. But he is SUPER apologetic about it and will make sure to treat you extra carefully.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually has a few for when he’s feeling lazy. He used to run through fleshlights like they were tictacs but he’s since finally found one that he won’t break.

He got most of them for free because he worked in a sex shop during college- he was very popular.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

Yes. He will 100% rile you up with touches that seem innocent enough in nature, but are a tad bit too low, or linger on for a bit too long.

Will also give you “the look” in public and pretend he doesn’t know what you’re talking about- he definitely does.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Vocal in bed, especially with praise. Will constantly tell you how good you’re doing or how good you feel. Doesn’t moan a lot, but they slip out from time to time. Instead it’s a lot of deep breaths, groans, and curses.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

If mortuary school hadn’t have worked out, he and Makki were going to start their own porn company. They actually have a very solid business plan. They made a pact to sit on it for now, since Issei is working at the funeral home.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

LMFAOOOOO

Literally a foot long. Longer actually. I’m going to honestly say 13. No I won’t take it back. Perfect thickness too. Honestly it’s like… god really took his time and got it fucking right. Everything about his physique is perfect- it would only make sense his cock is that perfect to match. Color is even all around, the head is bubblegum pink. There’s also one very prominent vein on the underside, and a few tinier trails of veins on the top. The statue of David? Don’t know her. Only know the statue of Issei.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

High sex drive, but he can keep it subdued if he has to. Especially because he knows he’s too much for most people. He's not shy about it though. Is CONSTANTLY horny on main. Not that you mind.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

Service Dom through and through. He won’t sleep until you do, and even if he’s dead tired, he won’t sleep at all if you’re staying awake. He’s going to do everything to take care of you and your needs first. When you do sleep he likes to hold your head to his chest and will press his nose down into your hair so he can fall asleep surrounded by your scent.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @ukaic @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith

[13uswntimagines]

Chanukah party (USWNT x Baby!Reader)

This isn’t a request but @literaryhedgehog​ and I thought it would be fun. The basic premise is that reader is at camp during Chanukah, and the team feels bad (especially Lindsey) so they throw her a party. (thank you @notmia101​ for betaing this for us). 

You smiled at Alyssa as she described her winter plans after training camp. How she was going to visit her sister and her family for Christmas. How they were hoping for snow and how they were going to kill an innocent tree and desecrate its body with lights for their amusement. Her words, not yours. It was a game she and the other girls played every year, trying to make their Christmas plans sound as horror-movie-ish as possible. It was a way of trying to make fun of themselves so you could share the amusement and join in laughing at them. 

But despite their efforts, a little piece of you always felt left out because you couldn’t (wouldn’t?) participate. See, you were one of the few who didn’t celebrate Christmas. You were proud of your Jewish heritage, even if your family wasn’t the most ~religious~. But you were proud of the culture you had been raised in. You held its traditions very near to your heart and weren’t AT ALL bitter that the rest of the team had time designated to visit their family during their winter holidays while you still had training camp through the third week of December.  

You were kinda zoning out because you could only take so much of their cookie baking, their stalkerish man that watched kids while they slept, and their hiding of a stupid stuffed toy you were sure would give you nightmares (who the fuck thought having an ‘elf’ stalk your family all month was cute?!?!? Capitalism was a weird man). (Though you may or may not have paid attention to Lindsey’s plan to dress Ferguson like a little elf…) 

“What about you kid?” Tobin asked, nudging you out of your daydream. 

“What?” You shook your head, making everyone around you laugh. 

“Do you have plans for the holidays?” Lindsey repeated, her smile showing off her dimples. 

“Oh, um. Chanukah started a few days ago. It’s cool, they have an app with a menorah and everything. My family has been face timing me most days, but it will be over before training ends.” You shrugged, hoping they couldn’t see how much being away from your family during this time of year sucked (though you were glad to be included on the camp roster). 

Most of the veteran's jaws dropped, how had they not known that you were missing something so important to you? How had US Soccer overlooked a holiday (and inadvertently given you an ultimatum- celebrate or make the national team). 

“Then why did they schedule training camp this week?” Tobin mumbled. Again you shrugged. 

“There’s 23 of you and only one of me… it’s really not that big of a deal,” you smiled briefly and gave the same speech you had given since middle school, “It’s not like the ‘Jewish Christmas’ even though it happens around the same time some years, my family doesn’t even exchange presents, so I’m really just missing the party they’re throwing on the 18th.” 

“That still isn’t fair though. I mean, we get Christmas off automatically, even if we don’t celebrate it!” Christen huffed, throwing her hands up. 

“I mean, this isn’t like a new thing. We’re always at camp during this time. And next year the holiday starts in November, so it’s not something that can consistently be scheduled around. I guess it’s just a sacrifice I have to make to be the best right?” You said earnestly, shaking your head. You knew all of the arguments, you had heard them for all of your life. 

“But-“ Emily started to protest, but before she could get the words out you cut her off. “Don’t make a big deal guys, it’s fine. Really,” 

The team stared at you for a few seconds, several women opening and closing their mouths several times. You shifted uncomfortably under their gaze, breathing a sigh of relief when your phone rang, glad to have an excuse to get out of this situation. 

“Ok so we’re totally going to make a big deal out of this,” Lindsey said turning back around to face the team the second you were out the door. 

“I’m guessing you have a plan to woo your girl?” Emily smirked, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“It’s not to. No. We are doing this as a team to be supportive of our teammate who is part of a traditionally marginalized culture that we need to be more supportive of,” Lindsey grumbled sternly, smiling when Christen nodded in return. “I’m googling “Chanukah for Dummies” right now. 

They were going to make this camp different from the others (and if she got to impress you that was just a bonus). 

��..

“Umm, why does it smell like something is burning?” Becky asked, walking through the hotel corridor towards the dining room. 

“Because Latkes are apparently more difficult to make than I expected,” Kelley said, tossing what looked like a stack of burned hockey pucks into the trash. “I didn’t realize the whole room was going to smell like fried food- do you think they’re going to fine me when we check out?”

“If they fine you, they better fine Em too. The stench from such a little jar is kind of amazing,” Lindsey huffed. 

“What did she do, get her sardines or something?” Becky asked, shaking her head, remembering the smell that she couldn’t quite place. 

“No. Something called ‘Gefilte fish’”. 

“But isn’t that usually for Passover?” Kelley asked, looking up from where she was trying to scrape burned potatoes off her pan.

“They said it was traditional, isn’t that what we’re going for?” Emily huffed, pouting. Lindsey rolled her eyes at her best friend. 

“I’ve got music!” Chrystal called, walking through the door in a star-patterned sweater. “It turns out there are not a whole lot of Chanukah songs. There’s a Spotify playlist that’s only 3 hours long, or so, so I supplemented it with a lot of Leonard Cohen and Paul Simon.”

“And I brought the sour cream and applesauce as requested!” Sam called, walking in after her, “also some apple juice and honey bourbon. I know apples and honey are a thing for Rosh Hashana, so I thought maybe we could make some cocktails?”

“I won’t tell coach if you don’t,” Kelley said taking the bottle and pouring herself a shot. “Someone else needs to take over the latke making. My attempts have all either looked like lefse, hashbrowns or just burned.”

“Lefse?”

“I had an ex-girlfriend from Minnesota. It was a potato tortilla thing her family sent her at thanksgiving. The point here is that someone else needs to cook or we are just going to be eating sour cream and applesauce on their own.”

“We could make french fries?” Rose suggested tentatively. 

“With bacon and cheese! Those are the best,” Emily exclaimed, only to have Lindsey (gently) slap the back of her head. 

“No, Sonnett. She can’t have bacon and I don’t think she’s allowed to have cheese and meat on the same plate…” 

“I think if we just batter potato pieces in egg and flour and fry them it would taste nice with the apple sauce and sour cream. And we’ve made french fries before so it won’t be so much of a… learning curve. Though you did a great try, Kelley!” Rose said, patting Kelley’s arm.

“You guys are useless. Did you even look at a recipe?” Megan shook her head. 

“If you think it’s so easy you try it.” Kelley scoffed. Megan raised her eyebrow at the woman, stealing the spatula from the defender's hand. 

“Tasty made here we come,” 

*****

“Happy Chanukah!” came from all around as you walked in. Lindsey was very proud. Not only had she gotten the team on track and ensured that they had all of the stuff google said would make the perfect Chanukah celebration; she had also kept you off their trail until this moment. The shock on your face made all the work on their day off entirely worth it. 

The room was decorated in tinsel with a shiny plastic menorah in the center of the table. Several people were wearing ugly sweaters with different “decorations” taped on. A sign on the back wall said “We survived, let’s eat!” Lindsey had decided against hanging up the posters Rose and Mal made saying “Stick it to the (ro)Man!” and “MaccaBEe mine.” The first one because she wasn’t sure it was appropriate, the second one because she knew it wasn’t.

“Ooo who brought the hotdog of the sea?” You asked, biting your lip to suppress a giggle as you walked over to the table to see the food on display. 

“What?” Lindsey’s eyes tried to follow yours, utterly confused. They didn’t get hotdogs. They most certainly weren’t on the list that Chanukah for dummies had given her. 

You smiled softly and shook your head, pointing to the tan balls that Emily had provided. 

“That’s what my siblings and I call it during Passover. Gefilte fish is kinda a love it or hate it thing…” you trailed off, scrunching your nose just slightly. 

“And you’re not a fan?” Lindsey smirked, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. 

“Umm, I plead the fifth,” You mumbled, shaking your head slightly. It wasn’t your favorite item in the world. 

“That was all Emily,” Kelley snorted, clapping you on the back, and you grinned devilishly back at her. 

“Well, it was very nice of her to be so thoughtful. She can try a piece with me,” 

Emily cringed at the idea, but nodded nonetheless. It was your party and if eating the smelly thing out of a jar made you happy, then that’s exactly what she would do. (She also stealthily shot Lindsey the middle finger while you were surveying the rest of the items on the tables). 

“Honestly the sufganiyot is my favorite,” you said, taking a step towards the platter, your lips ticking up at Lindsey’s adorable confused face. “sorry, the donuts,” you clarified, picking up one of the many powdered sugar-covered donuts in the stack, inspecting it to see what kind it was. The Jelly ones were particularly important for the celebration. 

Lindsey blushed a little. “We didn’t know if you wanted jelly or custard,” She said hesitantly, watching as your eyes got impossibly brighter. 

“Both are amazing, thank you,” You smiled softly at the midfielder, brushing a stay bit of powdered sugar off her pink cheeks. You held her gaze for a moment before seeming realizing you had an audience, and turning towards the rest of the team. “thank all of you,” 

It wasn’t the traditional Chanukah you usually shared with your family, but the friends who had become your family made it special nonetheless.

[sylvie-writes]

Bad (4): Moral of the Story

First inspired by this song ➳ Bad by Lennon Stella

(Ransom Drysdale x wife reader)

Summary: Your divorce with Ransom is finalized and some changes, good and bad, occur for the both of you.

A/n: Sorry loves that I’m slow with getting out chapters! There’s just a lot going on lately, so I apologize that this one is kinda short. Next chapter will be better!

Also, many thanks to those of you who voted! hehe I might have been a little biased and wanted Andy in the story too...

Warnings: mild profanity. more angst.

As always, plz pardon any mistakes, the stories are always proofread but I tend to make many mistakes regardless.

Series Masterlist

On November 12th, a life you once knew was officially left behind.

That was the day a judge signed off his judgement and you and Ransom were officially divorced.

After all the hell he put you through, one would think you’d be happy. But honestly? You were still unhappy. Of course you’d never left him back in your life, yet your heart was still broken. 

It wasn’t supposed the end this way.

You weren’t ever supposed to be sitting in your car, alone, letting your confident facade fall, as your shoulders racked with heavy sobs.  

Unfortunately, life is just always full of surprises. Good and bad ones.

Today seemed as if it were just the perfect day for a divorce, if there was ever such a thing.

Rain heavily fell from the ominous-looking clouds, such as your tears uncontrollably streamed from your eyes. You were thankful for the dark lighting, making it impossible for the others parked in the dimly-lit parking garage to see your distressed state. 

Behind your tears, the radio quietly played, and you took a second to listen to the song, reaching forward to turn to volume up, just the slightest. Its lyrics spoke to you, and somehow you knew things were gonna be okay. 

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just in pain

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end it's better for me

That's the moral of the story 

Once your emotions made their much needed escape, you took a deep breath, as if you were starting afresh. This was your life now, and from here on out, you’d make the calls. Ransom was no longer looming around the back of your conscience and it was nice. He was of the past, and currently you were preparing for the future. Even your little one knew it, as they lightly kicked you, almost as if they were saying, ‘it’s gonna be okay.”

And you knew that was true. You had a baby on the way, and that was more than enough. A precious gift from the heavens, who would be making their appearance in a little over a month. Just the mere thought brought a smile to your face, one you caught in the rearview mirror. Analyzing the smile, you realized that it wasn’t forced and that you were finally, truly, happy. 

A few weeks had passed since the divorce, and you were functioning just fine, some would even say incredibly. For you, the dark clouds of your divorce and past love life had moved on, but for Ransom, it was quite the opposite…  

Ransom was miserably laying on his couch, legs propped over the armrest, head lazily laid on a throw pillow, half of his mind focusing on the tv, while the other half, imagined a time when you were there with him.

“Ransom, have I ever told you how much I loved you?” 

You hand rested on his soft and clean-shaven face, gazing happily into his never ending blue eyes. The man pretended to think, shaking his head then leaning forward to capture you lips in a kiss. Ransom pushed your back against the couch, as the two of you laughed, although still lipped locked. 

“Ransom…”

The man’s eyes may have been glued to the tv screen, but instead his mind was replaying the memory of you. He could even hear your voice, as if the daydream was nothing more than reality, until another voice cut into his mind. A higher pitched one, if you will.

“Ransom!”

He didn’t respond to the girl, the call of his name being mixed with two voices. Blair’s and yours. It took everything to hold onto to your voice and ignore the other. 

“Ransom.”

Finally, the woman’s voice, who was actually standing in front of him, broke through, shattering his memories and pushing him into reality.

Ransom quickly sat upright, to act as if nothing happened, allowing the smiling woman to sit in his lap, while peppering kisses over his jawline. Her kisses were nothing like yours. You kisses were filled will love and not lust.

“Oh Ranny. How did I get so lucky?”

He plastered a fake smile on his face, leaning into to kiss her nose, instantly repulsed by his own actions. 

“You know, I already did some wedding planning today.”

The words that left the woman’s mouth made Ransom’s constant thinking freeze. He had been so eager to getting over you that he blindly proposed to this woman, who was obviously no better than himself. She was going to put up with his shit, unlike you. That was definitely something he didn’t need in this new marriage. Actually he didn’t even need a marriage. 

“Blair, I’m sorry I just can’t.”

Her eyes grew like the size of saucers, as she hopped off of Ransom’s lap, standing tall and towering over the sitting man, clearly ready for a fight.

“Can’t what, Hugh?”

“Get married.”

The scoff she let out was loud enough to be heard in China, before her pitchy voice started yelling at Mr. Heartbreaker. She really was overreacting, this was Ransom Drysdale after all.

“You asshole! Is it because I’m not (y/n), huh is that it? Newsflash! She won’t take you back. You’ve fucked up Ransom and now you are losing me too!” 

At the mention of your name, a fire ignited inside Ransom. Yes, he screwed up, but he didn’t need anyone, especially Blair, to tell him that.

“Yeah, I screwed up, but you know what? We are both fuckers who ruin the lives of the ones we love. You knew damn well I was married, and seeing what I did to her, you knew what you were getting yourself into! I’m not blaming you, cause it takes two to tango, sweetheart!” 

Blair stared daggers into Ransom’s eyes, him doing the same, as both of their chests were heaving from their screaming match. The man had made a great point, although self-deprecating yet true. When he was married, he was so willingly ready to cheat, it was a sign that Ransom would never be ready to commit to anyone, even when he thought he was in love. 

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to be arguing and drunk, though, while even sober, Ransom’s mind never functioned properly. Not after you left anyway. 

Their argument continued into the night, with Blair leaving behind her rock of a ring in the palm of Ransom’s hand. And truth be told, that when woman angrily strutted out the door, Ransom felt at ease for once. He had finally put a patch on his sinking boat that rocked in the large ocean of his fuck-ups. When the bed was empty that night, it felt nice. Why he ever traded you for Blair was beyond him, and he hated himself for it. But no, he knew you’d never take him back, you were too good for him. Hopefully, you’d find someone else who’d love you better than he treated you. For once, Ransom put your needs before his. If you were to show up on his doorstep tomorrow moring with an engagement ring, and a man at your waist, he’d hoensly congratulate you. As much as it would pain him to see you move on, he knew no amount of pain could weigh up to the heartbreak you felt. 

This was his punishment. 

It really did take all the physical restraint in Ransom to not run up to you, fall to his knees and beg when he saw you those weeks ago in court. It took everything in him to not call, and apologize for the hell he put you through. Because as much as you deserved an apology, he knew you’d never forgive him and it would hurt him even more.

For you, as the time to your due date got closer, you suddenly realized that one income might not be enough. Bills after bills can bleed one dry. So, last Saturday, you saw an ad online for a personal assistant, the requirements were slim and the hours were as needed. After four long days, you finally received a chance for an interview, which unfortunately occurred during your work hours. Lorraine, the sweetest woman on the planet, offered to work your shift, giving you the time to rush off to the DA’s office. Newton wasn’t too far of a drive, and at this point you’d travel across country just to give this precious life inside of you, a good beginning. Being eight months pregnant, probably ruined your chances of getting the job, but when you met your “hopefully soon-to-be boss”, he seemed to not care. Actually, he was willing to give you the jobs, but was concerned it would be to much for you. It took a few tries, but you finally assured the man, leaving his office only to see him again tomorrow. 

You came to know your boss as Andy Barber, a man with a heart of gold, and his worries always about you. It was endearing, and you started to unintentionally drift closer to the man. One late night in that very November, Andy had decided to work well past his usual hours. It was pitiful to see the man all alone in the building as the only source of light was at his desk. Thanksgiving holiday was coming up and Andy begged for you to go home and start your holiday break. For minutes your both “bickered” back and forth, until you finally left, giving Andy a sense of relief. He really did care about you, although he never said so. Your were his employee and he wasn’t sure if you felt the same way. Well, until tonight anyway.

Just as Andy thought he’d sent you home, you came back ten minutes later, a small pizza box in one hand, while the other held a liter of soda. A grin spread across Andy’s face, as he stood up to take the box from you, clearing off room on his desk for the two of you to eat. While enjoying your makeshift dinner, you and Andy started to open up to each other even more, carrying on small talk, that led to something else.

“So how far along are you, (y/n)?”

“About eight months.”

Andy raised his eyebrows in surprise, while also admiring you for your dedication. 

“Wow, that’s amazing! I can’t even imagine how hard all of this is for you.”

Your boss motioned to all of the paperwork on his desk, to which you just shook your head. It really wasn’t an inconvenience at all. 

“Oh, it’s not that bad. I’m the only one making a home for this baby, so I do what I can.”

Your eyes trailed up from your belly to be met with Andy’s sympathetic smile.

“I wouldn’t have known, but I do know this baby has the best mother of them all.”

At the compliment you let out a small laugh, a sound that made Andy beam, as the two of you continued to work on some files. To keep the night from falling silent, you continued to talk with the man, not missing a beat in your conversation. 

“Thank you, that means a lot to me. My husband, err, ex-husband, Ransom, cheated on me, but he did leave me this precious gift.” 

For some reason, you felt compelled to tell Andy your story, like you needed to get it off your chest to someone other than Lorraine. Come to think about it, Andy was the only other person you trusted, Lorraine, of course, being the first. In the two weeks you had worked together, the man had made an everlasting impression on you. 

Oh good god, why did you just spill your guts to the man? He probably doesn't care for your sob story--

“Ransom? As in Ransom Drysdale?”

You nodded your head, preparing yourself for some spew of judgement.

“That’s right! I’ve heard of him... and you. The two of you seemed in love. I’m so sorry (y/n), you didn’t deserve it, honey.

Not only were you shocked that Andy did genuinely care, but the pet name sounded like it was a second nature to him, which seemed to make your heart swell. 

“Thanks. It’s led me here though! To this amazing job with my lovely boss.”

Feeling a surge of confidence, with hopes that maybe Andy felt the same way, you shot him a playful wink. Your eyes dazzling in the yellow light of the desk lamp, making Andy view you almost as an angel. Thank the heavens he wasn’t standing, because your adorable wink made his knees weak. 

If Andy was going to become close to you as he hoped, now was the time to come clean about his past, and serve it on a platter as you had done. A good relationship always starts with trust. 

“Well if it makes it any better, I went through something similar. My wife left me years ago, with my son too. Last year, I went to go visit them, only to find they’d been in a car accident-”

A stray drop of a tear fell onto the paper underneath Andy, and it broke your heart to see him this way. It was obviously hard for him to tell the story, and you’d heard enough. Deciding to make a bold move, you moved around the desk and wrapped your arms around Andy’s shoulders. 

The man solemnly turned towards you, his chair swiveling around along with him, giving you the space to sit on his knees, while holding him close. His beard tickled your neck, as silent tears were shed. Your hand soothingly ran along his back, as you placed soft kisses to his temple. Andy’s arms were at your twisted waist, the baby bump slightly in the way, although you had turned your body to accommodate the man’s large figure. 

The two of you stayed locked in each other’s embrace for a long four minutes, until Andy pulled back, his arms still around your waist. Slowly, you brought your hand around from his neck, and to his cheek, using your thumb to wipe at the dry tears. Andy leaned into your touch and smiled contently at you. He was a broken man, who needed some love. Exactly the kind you’d shown him. 

Without second thought, you pressed your lips to Andy’s, noticing how his lips felt different than Ransom’s, his beard making you giggle just a bit. After what seemed to be forever, you and Andy reluctantly pulled away from each other, blissful smiles on your faces. 

From that night forward, you and Andy Barber started dating. Dinners out after long nights of work, or movies at home. He reminded you so much of how Ransom was in the beginning, except this time, you knew that this man wouldn't break your heart. 

For Thanksgiving, you invited Andy over for dinner as the two of you were all alone this year, no family this time, and your friends had their own lives. 

Dinner started out great, you and Andy bought a small Turkey, basting and then roasting it, along with making some side dishes, most of them being microwaveable. Honestly, the food had tasted delicious regardless of the way it was cooked. 

Just as you were about to dig into the feast before your eyes, a text message rang through on your phone. Who would be texting you at this hour, especially on thanksgiving?

Ransom- I know this isn’t the time, but I was wondering if tomorrow you’d like to go out for lunch. Not as a date or anything, but so I can apologize to you and explain. I’m not looking for forgiveness, but you deserve to know.” 

Your face looked as if you had seen a ghost, the expression scaring Andy as he had peeked up from his plate to see you not eating, and instead staring into the void of your cell phone screen. 

“(y/n), what’s wrong?” 

Reaching across the table, Andy grabbed your free hand, slightly startling you from your deep thoughts. 

“Uh. Ransom. He texted me. Asked for lunch tomorrow to explain everything.” 

The man, still holding your hand, shook his head, prompting you to continue on with the story. 

A part of you wondered why the events of the past had happened, and to get closure, you needed answers. Maybe it wasn’t in your best interest, but the curiosity inside of you was piqued. Now that you knew Ransom was willingly ready to talk, you also knew that if you didn’t take this opportunity, it would instead eat away at you. Something that you definitely didn’t need. 

“Andy, what should I do?”

“Oh honey, I know you want to know what happened , so go. But if you ever feel uncomfortable, call me and I’ll be there to kick his ass.” 

You laughed at Andy’s protectiveness, and lightly kissed his hand that was enclosing yours. Looking down, you felt a tiny yet powerful kick. A sign from the little one that his or her father still didn’t know about their existence. The ending of Ransom’s text flashed in your brain, the irony of it all laughing at you. 

You deserve to know. 

Ransom was an asshole, that’s for sure, but in the end he fathered this child, and deserved to know that much. The same went for yourself, as you were entitled to the story that destroyed your marriage. 

Tomorrow is definitely gonna be one for the books...

another a/n: If you’ve made it here (the end) I applaud you very much, but while you’re here, I apologize for this chapter. The writing style is that of a fifth grader, and I am forever ashamed that i actually posted it haha. 

Anyway, the next chapter should hopefully be better!

taglist (series and in general tags): @kiwihoee @buckybarnesthehotshot @memissbee @tricereads @tonystankschild @coffeebooksandfandom @ria132love @what-is-your-wish @maan24 @bval-1 @jemimah-b99 @turtoix @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @l-u-n-a-m @lexeeehhh​ @hc-geralt-23​

lemme know if you wanna join, be removed, or if i tagged the wrong person!

[radiantroope]

Lonely Heart || Rafe Cameron

Chapter One – Falling Apart

chapter summary: Rafe’s actions when you move to California prove distance does not make the heart grow fonder. You get a phone call that puts your whole life on pause.

warnings: flashbacks are in italics, none

word count: 2k+

author’s note: i kinda hate this but i’m gonna post it anyway. this fic is definitely a slow burn. once again, shout out to @royalmerchant & @diverdcwn for letting me send you the first half of this and convincing it wasn’t complete shit. feedback means everything to me, please let me know what you think so far!!♥️

read the introduction here!

series playlist | series masterlist | main masterlist

You kept your promise and called Rafe as much as you could — FaceTiming every Saturday for a few hours in the evening. He helped you decorate your on campus apartment as much as he could through the tiny phone screen. You’d eat dinner together and talk about how your week had been. There was a three hour time difference though, so either you were eating very early or Rafe was eating fairly late. Though, you didn’t mind making that sacrifice if it meant you got to talk to him and see his face.

It was all going good for a few months, the semester started off slow for you and your professors seemed nice enough. Thanksgiving rolled around before you knew it and your parents had flown out to visit. They gushed over your quaint little apartment and awed at the large campus that you took them for a stroll around. The three of you FaceTimed the Cameron’s on the morning of Thanksgiving itself and talked to them for a while as Rose frantically ran about the kitchen, insisting that she wanted to help make the feast that year instead of hiring chefs to do it for them.

It was a few days after that, just after your parents flew home, that things changed. Rafe declined more of your calls than he answered. He started missing your Saturday FaceTime dates, stating his workload was too much and he had to miss it. You believed him, of course. You were two Freshmen in college and it was inevitable that the schoolwork was bound to weigh on you eventually.

Sparse phone calls turned into even sparser texts. It was embarrassing, really. If anyone could see how many texts you’d sent to get a three word response a few days later they’d probably laugh in your face. Just before the winter trip to Colorado, he stopped replying all together. He’d either turned his read receipts off or he was ignoring your texts all together because the word ‘Delivered’ managed to slap you in the face everyday.

Your Uber pulled up to the luxurious cabin your family shared with the Cameron’s and a wave of nausea flooded through you. You didn’t know if you were ready to face your best friend and find out what you’d done for him to deliberately ignore you. As you walked through the front door, immediately greeted by a squealing Wheezie, you quickly noticed the absence of the brunette boy amongst your families in the kitchen and living room.

Sarah dragged you to the room she and Wheezie were sharing after you greeted her father and Rose. She barely gave you time to drop your bags by your own room. The teenager immediately jumped into all the melodrama happening in her life. You weren’t shocked to find out she was dating Topper Thornton. You knew the boy had his eye on her for a while and were glad to know he’d taken your advice of asking her out before you left.

“Where’s Rafe?” you questioned sometime later, after dinner with Sarah nestled beside you in your bed.

“He took some job with one of dad’s partners. Something about furthering his resume,” Sarah said, shrugging. To her, it was no big deal that her brother wasn’t there, oblivious to his recent absence in your life.

“Right,” you responded solemnly.

It was hard to hide your obvious disappointment that Rafe had missed the trip. In the thirteen years you’d known him, he’d never missed this trip. He was always so eager to get away from the Outer Banks and it’s muggy weather to spend Christmas surrounded by snow. He snowboarded almost everyday, dragging you up to the mountains with him. He looked like a pro, flying down the slopes with precision and grace. Inevitably he’d have to make his way back up to help you down, but that was part of the fun, laughing as you lost your balance and tumbled into the snow more than once. You’d grab a hot chocolate from the mountain resort after, out of breath and full of giggles.

Christmas morning was especially dreary for you. Your mother took notice of your odd silence over breakfast and placed a comforting hand over yours as you cradled a mug of coffee. You forced a smile, standing to follow everyone into the living room to open gifts. The cabin felt quiet — void of Wheezie’s screaming laughter and Rafe’s thundering footsteps as he chased her around with a flimsy Santa hat atop his messy head of hair. You swallowed the lump in your throat as Ward took over handing out the gifts, a job usually reserved for his son.

“Have you talked to him?”

You sighed through the phone at Janelle’s question. The last time you attempted to reach Rafe was New Year’s Eve. Just as the clock struck midnight, you sent him a standard ‘Happy New Year’ text. Your heart leapt to your throat when a moment later, the three text bubbles popping up. They sat there for a moment, taunting you, before disappearing. You awaited a response, only for one to never come.

By the time the spring break trip to the Bahamas rolled around, you were infuriated. You couldn’t wait to get down there and give Rafe a piece of your mind. Thirteen years of friendship and he couldn’t even text you back. He dropped you like you were last year’s Gucci — like you were nothing to him.

Janelle was the only person who knew Rafe meant more to you than just a best friend. When you were twelve, you told her how it was just a silly crush and you only thought he was cute. When you were fourteen, you admitted he gave you butterflies and you couldn’t get him out of your head. When you were sixteen, you bawled to her when he got his first real girlfriend, confessing you were hopelessly in love with the boy who would never feel the same way. She never told a soul, letting you spill your heart out to her whenever you needed to.

“No, and he’s made it very clear he wants nothing to do with me.”

As the plane landed in the Bahamas on the private airstrip, you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t wait to lay out in the sun by the water and let all your worries wash away. Your grades had slipped a bit after winter break, your mind consumed with anything but school. With a lot of extra work, you managed to get yourself back on track — also with a slight threat from your mother of lowering your monthly direct deposit from their bank account.

You saw Ward and your father waiting by the typical black Escalade they used to get around, the driver waiting by the backdoor to take your luggage. Both men embraced you as you stepped off the aircraft and climbed into the running car. Nervousness bubbled in your veins, causing you to bounce your knee beside your father as you began your journey to the beach home Ward owned.

“No Rafe this year, huh Ward?” your father broke the silence with his question, sparring you a glance from the corner of his eye.

“No,” Ward sighed, “He decided to take his own trip to Hawaii with some friends.”

A hurt expression contorted on your face that you quickly masked with a small smile. The two of you had always talked about going to Hawaii one day. He was living out those dreams without you now. Your tone was playful, yet you were anything but, “He’s a busy boy now-a-days, isn’t he?”

Ward laughed and simply nodded in response. Your father gave you a knowing look and a reassuring smile. Though it did nothing to ease the ache in your chest. You turned towards the window and watched the palm trees fly by the closer you got to the beachfront mansion. Your hair fell in your face, effectively masking the salty tears slowly rolling down your cheeks.

You laid on the beach, sunglasses covering slightly puffy and red rimmed eyes. You watched surfers ride the waves and recalled a time where you’d go out and join them. You’d rent a surfboard for the week, forcing Rafe to do the same and try your best to teach him how to surf. You weren’t sure if he was just too big to balance properly or he didn’t care to try, but he still entertained you. He was always in awe with how gracefully you rode the waves, despite him fully believing it was a Pogue sport. You were a Kook and he never quite understood why you loved it so much, but you were good and there was no denying it. He’d sit atop his own board and just watch you with a ghost of a smile, cheering when you pulled off a trick you’d been working on.

The distant memory of Rafe’s laughter echoed in your head as Sarah plopped down beside you and pulled you out of your thoughts. Your parents were all going out that night and she insisted on a girls night with Wheezie involving some expensive wine she’d snuck in her bag from Rose’s collection. The two of you obviously didn’t let the youngest girl in on the alcohol, but she didn’t seem to mind much, just enjoying spending quality time with the two older girls.

You tried your hardest to paint on a smile and indulge the girls the best you could in their conversations and game of Truth. Though your mind kept drifting, eyes burning with tears that you felt would never stop falling. All you could think about was how you and Rafe used to do this — sneak a bottle of his father’s liquor and hide out on the balcony into the late hours of the morning. You’d talk for hours about your lives and the future — a future you never pictured he wouldn’t be a part of.

It had been five years since then. You were almost twenty four now and hadn’t seen your best friend in five years. You stopped going on the family vacations when you realized it was Rafe’s way to keep from seeing you. You’d visit home for a week or two in the Summer, instead of spending the whole three months there like you intended. If your parents weren’t intent on living out the rest of their lives in Kildare, you probably would have never gone back. But they’d done too much for you — gave you everything you had — so you went back for them. Never did you see Rafe, and you couldn’t say you were upset about it. Seeing him would put you back at square one.

You graduated with your Bachelor’s degree and were planning to go for your doctorate in Psychology. Classes started the following week and it seemed like everything was finally falling into place. You were setting yourself up for life. Though, it still felt like something was off — like there was a part of you missing.

You and Janelle still spoke frequently. She always made a point to bring up Rafe, even when you didn’t ask. How he’d been scoring all these great jobs and working on big projects. How he was the happiest she’d ever seen him. Usually you’d mutter a small ‘that’s nice’ in response and change the subject. What made her think you wanted to hear about someone you used to love? Someone who used to be your other half? Why was she so adamant about rubbing it in your face that they were still so close?

You jumped as your ringtone set for your father blasted through the living room. You rushed from the stove where you’d been preparing dinner and picked the device up off the couch. Your voice was chipper as you answered his call, “Hi, daddy!”

“Hi, pumpkin,” your father sounded exhausted, a slight strain to his tone. Before you could question him he was continuing, “There’s.. There’s something you need to know.”

You turned off the stove immediately, heart sinking into your stomach. You remained silent and leaned against the counter to support your shaking frame. With a few words, you felt everything come crumbling down around you.

“It’s your mother, Y/N. You need to come home.”

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[ixalit]

hello max!! i know i reblogged your post from earlier, but i had mentioned i would send you some stucky headcanons. again, i’m sending you so much love right now (and always), and i hope that this can cheer you up a lil bit 🥰

ok ok ok let me get into it— i kinda forget what i wrote because i’m so all over the place right now (i should be preparing for a math quiz tomorrow— the content of which i have no clue how to do it— it’s fine)

1) so my first autumn stucky headcanon is that steve and bucky can never get any of the yard work done in autumn (raking the leaves, stringing up the tree lights, etc) because they’re too busy being in love with autumn and each other. even though they love the outcome, and do eventually get it done, they would much rather be snuggling in front of the fire, surrounded by cozy blankets and fuzzy socks, and sipping hot apple cider 😊 the room must be filled with many candles— they are a necessity for them

2) my second headcanon, now that it’s fall, is that steve and bucky are HUGE decorators. especially bucky. i know that it’s a little (a lot) early for halloween, thanksgiving, and christmas, but they go all out. bucky loves his candles and spooky decorations, and steve adores preparing the thanksgiving table with fancy napkins and plate settings. and their christmas tree?? they make it beautiful. they’ve collected an ornament every year, whether that be from a friend or for themselves, each one holds a special memory (i do this in my own family, and i think it’s a cute tradition 🥰). they lost the ones they had from when they were young, but since they came back, they’ve made plenty of new memories.

3) the last one i can think of right now is about the food. steve and bucky both love to pamper each other by making treats and delicious fall meals for each other! they take turns preparing things like homemade pumpkin pie, spiced apple cider, hot cocoa made from scratch, you name it. they like to take turns “helping” each other out, and usually get a bit distracted 😅 usually, though, the food turns out good! ooh, and on big holidays, steve and bucky always insist on taking it on, as well as a few contributions from friends. they love their tradition of making holiday meals together— even in november, they’ve got that christmas music blaring!

i’m so sorry that this is so long!! i came up with some new parts on the spot (and i don’t want to do homework), so it kept on going 😊 i hope these cheer you up a little bit honey!! 😘💗

Oh these are lovely, Helena 🥺

It’s always nice to escape into these fluffy little headcanons and I’m gonna read them again and again today ❤️

I don’t have the mental energy to write much in response, but I love, love, love them. Thanks for taking the time to send them (and please go study so you’re not super stressed later!)

1) awwwww. I imagine whe they do finally hang up lights, there’s lots of time spent playfully wrapping Bucky’s arm up or debating where the best place is until it’s too dark to do anything

2) I want Bucky to discover those jelly window stickies. Also, Bucky and Halloween is something I think about a lot more than is probably healthy and there might be a fic in the making because of it. Or maybe two

He was made into a monster by Hydra—ghost story, a literal boogieman. Just all the feelings and angst-hurt-comfort around that and him re-learning why Halloween is fun because “why would someone want to pretend to be a monster?” But then they get trick-or-treaters and he sees all the little kids dressed up as avengers, as Steve... the joy on their faces... and starts to get it. The next year he dresses up. Something light and happy. Maybe Steve takes him to a masquerade type thing or just a regular party, and Bucky starts to see that wearing a mask, pretending to be someone else, isn’t inherently a bad thing. It can be fun and wonderful and.... yeah. Anyways. I have feelings about it and a very specific costume in mind for one of the years after that’s front and center in the fic I’m maybe writing

And the ornament thing... 🥺!!! I have similar traditions with my mom and now I’m thinking about incorporating them.... ugh I love it.

3) aw I love this one... certain people know I have thought about Steve in a uhh specific apron many times, but all joking aside I love them cooking for each other. Trying new recipes and both deciding that one’s a hard “no” and ordering takeout instead. Attempting to recreate the taste of a stew Steve’s mom used to make, but they can’t quite get it. Absolutely pampering each other with sweet treats and breakfast in bed.

And aww them hosting the rest of their friends... YES. Please. I need it. They don’t have all the big serving bowls and plates with special memories, so they ask everyone for theirs a week beforehand cuz they’re not just gonna use generic ones. Stressing in the kitchen and getting into arguments over stupid, insignificant things like “would you get your ass out of my space??” “Your space???” Or “I need the oven, Steve, we talked about this” until one of them just kicks the other out. Of course the little disagreements usually end in “oh god this is stupid why are we even fighting about this” and kisses and “it’s okay, it doesn’t have to be perfect, y’know?”

In conclusion, you’re amazing, Helena, and I love you and the things you come up with.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #330

“and i don't want ya  /  and i don't need ya  /  don't bother to resist, or i'll beat ya  /  it's not your fault that you're always wrong  /  the weak ones are there to justify the strong”

If you have a job, do you like it? I'm unemployed. Do you like any kinds of fruit? Well of course. Are you waiting for something right now? Covid and this headache to fuck off, May for my tattoo, to be paid to take some pictures again... What is your favorite kind of animal? Kind, not the actual animal itself? In that case, social species, usually mammals. What kind of Dippin' Dots do you like? Holy shit, I haven't had that in like a damn decade or something. I don't know, I barely remember the taste. Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? My mom. My mother is a fucking warrior. Do you have a Pinterest account? Yeah. I get a lot of photography ideas from there, as well as base pictures to make Mark icons, haha. If you were to write a book, what would it be about? The stories I and my friends have weaved in RP. Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? AHHHHH YES!!!!! Mom loves that show, so I used to watch it with her growing up. Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I don't think so. Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? I haven't, but I would for certain people. Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Probably Night at the Museum. Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? I think it's a cool creepypasta; he does look pretty unnerving with his height and especially lack of a face. The movie was good too, btw. Do you know what the Tardis is? I think almost everyone does in this generation, haha. Doctor Who ain't no joke to a whole lot of people. Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? Sure, like Pokemon or Avatar: The Last Airbender, among others. I wouldn't at all be opposed to watching The Lion Guard, either. I actually want to, with my whole TLK love. I'm not embarrassed to watch "kids" shows or movies at all. What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Having not an ounce of knowledge on how to love things in moderation/avoid total obsession with things, haha. If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? No, especially not now with my legs. Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Almost solely fiction. What modern technology are you especially grateful for? Laptops, ig. Do you have a favorite science topic? Genetics. Very fascinating stuff. Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No. What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Either Johnny Got His Gun or Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What's your most popular post? On what? If Facebook, I don't really know. Possibly my "coming out" one or a lovey-dovey essay when Sara and I were together. On Tumblr, it's definitely the gif I made of Mark and Chica (his dog) with I think over 10k notes. Manga or anime? Anime. I don't read manga, though I've been tempted with Deadman Wonderland since the show only had one season and ends on a ginormous cliffhanger, but there's more story to be had. A card game that you're good at? None, really. A popular book you haven't read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird. I feel like every school student has read it at some point. Favorite Mean Girls quote? I don't know any. It's a fine movie, but I've never understood the hype. Name your top 3 albums from your favorite band/artist. Black Rain, Ozzmosis, and... then I can't choose. I love so, so many very dearly. Name your top 5 music videos. I don't really watch music videos, so I definitely can't name five. My #1 favorite is probably "Wrong Side of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch; I absolutely cannot watch it without crying. What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develop? Animals. I was born simply adoring animals and have always wanted to protect them and their environment. Do you like monkeys? Do you believe in evolution? Yes and yes. We've literally watched it in action. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Discussing RP if you're not involved in it. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm weird. Have you considered running for president? Absolutely not. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I'd say Mark, but I'd be way too interested in dating him instead of being just friends, haha... So with that said, maybe Bindi Irwin? Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? Lyndsey would be that person, so no. She's a great friend of mine, but realistically I'd probably only ever - if ever - do that with the company of my s/o. Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? No. How long did your last relationship last? Around two years. Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Online, yes, as a little kid on the Animal Planet forum, haha... Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Yeah, Juan. Did you like it? It was a sweet moment, but I didn't want it. Does your dad smoke? Like a chimney. Is your mom over 50? Yeah. Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, kinda hooked on "The Horrible People" by Manson. I've found a lot of great music lately. Would you ever consider getting breast implants? No, but once (if...) I lose all the weight I want, it's going to be a moderate priority to get a breast lift. I've hated my body way too fucking long and am dying to be satisfied with it again, and with how much weight I need to lose, I would essentially have grandma tits. :x Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Me, haha. Among some friends. Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? That's not something I'd just go to tell someone afterwards for no reason... I'd only ever mention having lost my virginity if I was actually asked or if it was relevant to a conversation. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? I'm really trying to practice opposite action and behavioral activation, among other things I've learned in group therapy. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? Well, I want to be my own boss as a freelance photographer. In any other job, I definitely wouldn't want that. Too much responsibility and leadership skills. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? I don't think so? Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? Yes, Tyler. I felt like I was "supposed to." I felt really uncomfortable afterwards. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? Probably like, 5:00. No. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? Always an emotional connection. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? No to both. What hair color is the most attractive on the opposite sex? Of natural colors, black, but I like unnaturally dyed hair most. Where do you like to go to when you are stressed? On a carride, so long as I'm controlling the music nice and loud and not talking. Where do you go to get your hair cut/dyed? To a family friend's little salon/small business. Why do you want the career that you want? Because I adore art and think it's pretty darn magical that you can freeze a moment forever to not just remember in your head, but actually see. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I enjoyed it when I was younger. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. Have you ever worked in an office? No. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No. Did you have an Easy-Bake oven when you were little? Sure did. Have you ever seen a donkey? Yeah. Have you ever made out in a hot tub? Pretty sure no. Do you always flush the toilet after you use it? Yes. What were the last words you said to your dad? Probably "bye, love you." Have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating? Nah. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? JASON. Are you a really understanding person? Yeah, very. Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Yes. When’s the last time you wore a wig? For a witch costume many years ago. Why were you last hospitalized? Suicide attempt. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food? At least 12 hours, but I think I almost went a day once back when recovery started and my appetite was non-existent. What was the last name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Britt. How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were chicken tenders. What is your favorite kind of chip? Hot crunchy Cheetos. What grade did you have your first boyfriend? 7th. Have you ever been told that you’ve lost weight? Yeah, back when I actually WAS losing loads of weight. >> Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some things, but definitely not all. Does anyone call you babe/baby? No. Have you ever made a significant other cry? Sadly. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? Maybe just a teeeeny bit. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yep. Fuck them prices. Are you prone to illness? Definitely not. What races do you usually date? History says Caucasian, but I have no actual preference. I'll date any race. What’s your cup size? C. Ever flirted with a teacher? Yikes, no thanks. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister made the most stuff. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Well, considering it literally traumatized me... Do you have any ex’s you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, definitely. When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? Yesterday for lunch. Ham, American cheese, and mustard. Have you ever made friends with someone that you didn’t expect to get along with? Yeah. Do you own any accessories with your name on? No. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I pay no attention to this. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No. Have you ever sent a naughty text message? Suggestive ones, yes. How long have you had your pets? Roman, around two years. Venus, around three or four years. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family? Sara. Has one of your friends ever tried to hook you up with someone? Colleen tried obnoxiously hard to push Girt and me together. We all went out to eat pizza once just as friends hanging out, and this bitch prefaced an uncomfortable and nosy question to him with an even more uncomfortable "because I'm trying to get you in her pants...", and that, my friends, was the closest occasion I've ever come to slapping someone right across the face. I looked at her in absolute disgust, and Girt was clearly thinking "what the actual fuck" as well. I do not miss her feral mouth. Are you good at staring contests? No. Eye contact is very difficult for me to maintain. Do you like peanut butter? I love peanut butter. When was the last time you had to present something to your class? In this mandatory but entirely pointless entry class at my last college, we all had to do like this PowerPoint introducing ourselves. I hated it. Who was the last person that told you they missed you? I think my friend Chelsea. What store is your favorite shirt from? It's not a real store, but rather an online brand: Cloak. Mark is one of the owners/creators so I obviously support them intensely. Have you ever fell off your bed while you were sleeping? No, thankfully. Do you have something you’re supposed to tell someone, but you haven’t yet? No. What type of food do you never really eat? Vegetables, oops. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Do you like going to weddings? Not really, if I'm being honest. I'm only interested in photographing weddings for the only the couple pictures and pay, really. I'm not big on formal events. What’s your favorite flavor squash? I don’t like squash. Do you or anyone in your house have a severe allergy? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Our landlord/family friend, just to hang out for a little bit and chat with Mom. What fad were you actually into? Hm. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I'm not a very spontaneous person, so I really don't know.

[happymetalgirl]

Rating Christmas Songs

Yep, it’s that time of year we get inundated wherever we go with mostly shitty Christmas music, usually the same stuff as the years before and the many years before. There are some songs among the barren crop of overplayed tunes that I think are pretty enjoyable, but for the most part I feel pretty confident that most of us are just putting up with the vast majority of the holiday playlist (I mean no one is dying to play any of these songs any other time of year, so they can’t be that great), so it’s time to set the record straight.

Here’s a rating of a few of the season’s musical staples and some brief reasons behind them. I’m sure I’m missing a few classics, but do feel free to bring them up and I will offer my thoughts on them. Granted these songs all have dozens, of not hundreds or thousands of versions, so I’m kind of going by an average of what I generally hear, not the dubstep remix version or even my favorite version necessarily.

-

“Jingle Bells”

The classic, easy to sing, easy to play on whatever instrument, upbeat childhood Christmas song. It’s hard to mess this one up, and I’m just glad it’s not trying to get all overly serious about Christmas as many of the songs further down this list do. But I mean, it’s fucking “Jingle Bells”, who actually gives a shit about this plinky-ass song.

5/10

“O Holy Night”

This one’s cool the first several years you hear it because it sounds pretty grand and epic, but it does wear off after awhile. Still, I’d rather hear this song than most, and I’ve yet to hear it truly butchered. So cheers to that!

7/10

“Jingle Bell Rock”

The failed swaggering “update” or cousin of the classic children’s Christmas song, it’s one of those songs that sounds like a bunch of upper class white folks sipping wine and putting on the usual façade of in-person Facebook-style humble bragging and life-highlighting about their year for the family they’ve not flexed on all year or since Thanksgiving. The song though is so drab and seemingly intentional sucked of lol the fun the kid’s song had, and in its place is just overly drolly Sinatra-imitation with no spirit at all. It’s the definition of background music, and it’s for the worst kind of background. Dancing to it sure as hell sucks. If you’re hearing this song, you’re probably not having as much fun as you’re supposed to be for a song that’s supposedly more “rock”.

2/10

"O Tanenbaum"

While his semi-jazzed-up approach that characterizes the rest of the soundtrack still seeps into this song, I’ve always loved the more stripped back piano-centric approach that Vince Guaraldi takes with this song on the classic A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. The simple and sweet lullaby-esque melody at the core of the song really works well with the instrumentally minimal approach (which I do hear most often) and it evokes a sense of very sweet nostalgia (for me at least), and I can’t not like it.

9/10

“Angels We Have Heard on High”

You know I’ve heard some pretty alright versions of this song when it’s pushed toward its more energetic side. That over the top run on “glOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoria” tends to be the make-or-make moment of the song, and when a singer or choir commits to it and goes all out, it can sound pretty rad; I’m sure some power metal band somewhere out there has put a decent spin on it. The rigid, traditional delivery I hear more often, though, sadly sounds more often like it’s had the life sucked out of it.

7/10

“Silent Night”

Probably my favorite of the soft Christmas songs, just soulful melodies abound here and written in a way that hasn’t encouraged too many stupid renditions.

9/10

“Santa Baby”

This song is just fuckin’ weird, and I get the place of romance it’s coming from lyrically: finally dropping the charade of Santa Claus and being romantic with the speaker’s husband after putting on the act for the children. It’s cute and endearing, but god is it always so weirdly sung, in a hyperseductive baby voice, not subtle at all, and kind of not fitting with the kind of sweet endearing romanctic tone you would think it’d be carrying if you just read the lyrics. There are definitely worse Christmas/holiday romance songs, and I can definitely imagine this song being performed more sweetly than it usually is.

6/10

“Hark! the Herald Angels Sing!”

This. Song. Is. A. Banger. Glorious and triumphant as shit! It sounds good slow and fast, but definitely best when it’s played bold and loud, as opposed to some contrived-ass attempt at a ballad. This song feels like finishing a marathon. I’d pay to hear Khemmis do this fuckin’ song.

10/10

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”

Sinatra’s version of the song is probably the most famous at this point, and as a consequence, the very title I think tends to invoke his signature smooth delivery on its own. I used to hate this one, but these days I find its naturally soothing character much more welcoming, god, especially this year. I can see why some find it to droll and sloggy, but I think it’s a nice wind-down tune.

7/10

“Last Christmas”

You know, the original synth-pop version by Wham! isn’t too bad on its own; George Michael’s delivery is pretty heartfelt and I can see why it’s become such modern Christmas staple. However, in the context of Christmas background music, that repetitive chorus refrain that seems to be the only lyric anyone knows in the song, gets really grating when it’s the only thing that sticks out, the more scaled-back delivery of the verses aiding their being buried in the chatter with your eggnog-sipping relatives. Furthermore, I’ve yet to hear a cover of the song less dry than sandpaper. Positive points to the original only.

6/10

“Away in a Manger”

This song certainly gets points for its strong narrative consistency, but aside from the “the stars in the sky” line, the melody is really really lame, and infantile in a bad way, and I have yet to hear a version that doesn’t sound like it was done by or similar to an apathetic children’s choir. It’s that quintessential song that every church kindergarten choir gets forced to sing because it’s nice and slow and narrow-range that all the kids look absolutely braindead singing. Not that it’s ever the kids’ fault or anything, it’s just a boring-ass song whose weak-ass strategy hinges on a bunch of 5-year-olds getting into something they clearly don’t give a shit about.

4/10

“The Little Drummer Boy”

You know, I could envision a slow-building post-rock-esque version of this song being pretty cool, but to date, all I have heard is stiff corny solo vocal delivery a la Angela from The Office and haphazard attempts at injecting tons of energy into the song that don’t really fix the kooky melody at the core of it. I swear you can always hear whoever is singing it getting red in the face from the needless intensity.

3/10

"Christmas Time Is Here"

Another solid cut from the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas, its rather simple instrumental foundation serves as a pretty solid introductory piece for the season; it feels so much like welcoming in the winter. And then of course the jazz embellishments on the instrumental version are some of the best in the Christmas genre, though listening to the soundtrack these days makes me wonder what it would be like if a more bombastic and dynamic jazz band took these songs on a more wild ride. I would love to hear that.

8/10

“Joy to the World”

It’s a little bit cheesy, but I kinda appreciate how ridiculously celebratory this tune is. It’s another one that I think would be interesting to hear Khemmis do a quick cover of, despite the religious theme that doesn’t really fit into their style. At the very least, it always sounds fun or, indeed, joyous.

7/10

“We Three Kings”

I’m not convinced anyone cares about this song.

5/10

“The First Noel”

This is another one of those songs whose runny melody tends to lead to it being delivered so often way too seriously, never really all too fun or worthy of the seriousness either.

3/10

“O Come, O Come Emanuel”

This is another one of those songs that, on the surface, seems more genuine with its minor key and often stoic delivery, and that definitely makes it better than the vast majority of Christmas songs, but the melody and lyrics are a bit oddly mismatched, and the melody that serves as the key appeal in the song does wear thin as the years go on. Nevertheless, I always do seem to find a cool new version ever year or two.

7/10

“Do You Hear What I Hear?”

Goddamn this is such a goofy-ass song. Who the hell made this? I cannot take it seriously. One point for all the kids for the apt “do you smell what I smell?”

1/10

“Mary Did You Know?”

Again, who wrote these lyrics? Like, in the story Mary made up to explain her out-of-wedlock pregnancy, that was kind of the main thing, that this kid would do some crazy shit. I can’t take this song seriously either, especially when it gets the goofy overly operatic treatment.

3/10

“Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”

It’s another one of those songs that literally just says what Santa Claus does. Musically it’s catchy-ish, but I mean it’s about Santa Claus, and it’s so often sung in that overly serious, toned down Motown style that no kid likes. I never liked hearing it then, and I don’t now.

3/10

“12 Days of Christmas”

Structurally iconic, this song really doesn’t offer anything beyond that; have you ever tried listening to someone doing the whole thing? It gets old really fast, and the fact that the “halfway” point in the song, the six geese a-laying, isn’t actually the halfway point, because the verses get longer and longer... fuck! The only thing this song is good for is for structuring workouts around, nothing regarding listening to the song. It gets one point for its utility.

1/10

“It Came upon a Midnight Clear”

We really are in a stretch of trash Christmas songs right now. I don’t think this is anyone’s favorite Christmas song. It’s so lethargic and sleep-inducing, I’m falling asleep just thinking about it.

3/10

“We Wish You a Merry Christmas”

Eh, it’s kinda not a really important song. At least it wakes you up, but apart from throwing some energy into the Christmas playlist that many are often desperate for, it’s just a cheery addition of holiday-themed white noise.

4/10

“What Child Is This?”

Finally some good fucking food. I’ve heard some baller versions of this captivatingly grand song, whose accidentals and minor key really make it one of the more interesting listens during the holiday season. I would dig an Opeth cover or a Pallbearer cover, or... a Khemmis cover.

8/10

“Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!”

This is just one of those standard, old-timey, inoffensive season-themers. It’s alright, I’ve never heard any version of it that really blows my mind.

5/10

“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”

This one is almost indistinguishable from, but significantly less annoying than, “Jingle Bell Rock” and is similarly stiff in a way that it’s clearly not meant to be.

3/10

“White Christmas”

This might take the cake for the sleepiest Christmas song out there. It is SLOW, like Bell Witch should ironically do a 20-minute-long cover of it just to see how it goes.

4/10

“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

The shopping mall theme song. It’s always given that Sinatra treatment and it only barely fits well enough into that style.

4/10

“Feliz Navidad”

This one always feels like it needs to be sung with a big, cheerful group to capture the liveliness that its main appeal is based in, which puts it at a distinct disadvantage this year. Still, it’s always a fun, sometimes even bouncy song to play during the holiday season.

7/10

“Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer”

I do actually welcome the absurd narrative that has somehow made itself one of the season’s ironic staples, and its slightly dark humor makes for a nice change of pace in the playlist with its upbeat, campy humor.

6/10

“Deck the Halls”

Fa la la la la, la la la no.

Annoying as fuck: 2/10

“Frosty the Snowman”

God, this song should be way more cheery and kid-friendly than it is. I mean, I’m sure kids don’t mind it, but it’s just yet ANOTHER one of those songs that can’t escape its old-timey suit-and-tie incarnation for the liveliness it desperately needs.

4/10

“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”

One of the more compositionally clunky of the well-known minor-key Christmas songs, this one unfortunately tends to show why minor-key songs are generally a weird fit for theme. I have heard a good few modern renditions though that make the song worth keeping around.

6/10

“Jingle in the Jungle”

This one’s for the real ones out there. “Jingle in the Jungle” is not a real Christmas song per se, but it pushes the boundaries; it’s courageous. The song comes from the television series, Bob’s Burgers, in a stressful Christmas-themed episode where the musically adventurous son of the titular character, Gene, burns out his dad’s cell phone battery waiting on hold for a radio station to request this song. The phone dies and he does not get the chance to request the song, but a Christmas miracle occurs, and the station decides to play the obscure, bongo-laden song anyway, and it sure is a fun minute-long diddy.

8/10

“Wonderful Christmastime”

Paul McCartney’s peppy Christmas tune that only kinda accomplishes its light-hearted goal is simply one of many throwaway inoffensive modern Christmas songs that seems to have only gained cultural traction due to it being repetitive and simplistic af, and being made by a Beatle.

5/10

“Happy Xmas (War Is Over)”

Well it would only make sense to have the battle of the Beatles here with John Lennon’s standout Christmas track, a far more soulful, bombastic, and triumphant song that echoed his idealistic spirit in a way that makes this song not all too different from his standout solo works and compositions with The Beatles. It’s a warm, hopeful song that draws from a grounding in the harshness of reality rather than some escapist fantasies about Santa or religion. Despite the acknowledgement of the ills of the world, Lennon’s vision of Christmas and his wish for the world is a day of recognition of love and unity, which is purer than 99% of the dogmatic or materialistic Christmas music above, and definitely the song right below this one.

9/10

“The Christmas Shoes”

Alright, rubbing the hands together, we’re coming to the end here, with this fucking song. It’s not the most famous Christmas song, thank God, but when I heard it for the first time, I was immediately repelled by the saccharine melody, uncannily blank-faced delivery, and sappy lyrics, but it’s one of those special songs that gradually reveals several layers of shit the more you fixate on it. For the uninitiated, the song came out in the year 2000, from the Christian band NewSong; it’s an aggressively sentimental holiday ballad with a bit of pop country vocal flair that only adds to the sinister hokey-ness of the lyrics. And that really is the ugliest facet of this song; as sickeningly cheesy as the music is, the simple lyrics here are more morbid and more disgusting than the grossest brutal death metal songs. The song is a simple narrative about a poor boy buying his sick mom some nice shoes on Christmas Eve so she can look nice for Jesus when she dies, tonight, on Christmas Eve. Yeah, it’s fucking sickening. The song is narrated from the perspective of a man in the store when the boy is buying the shoes and the narrator offers to buy the shoes for him, and he muses vaguely and confusingly on his generosity and Jesus being the “true” meaning of Christmas. Yes, there are so many questions being begged by this narrative. Why would Jesus give a shit about the shoes? Why is getting shoes this divine Christmas gesture? How do these shoes even come close to offsetting the pain and suffering and loss this family is suffering. This is like the opposite of John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas” in that it’s offering a pathetic consolation for the cruelty of a world where a loving God apparently offers only a stranger’s mild and momentary generous gesture for a poor family in the thralls of a mother’s illness. It’s grounded in the same reality that John Lennon presents, but it whitewashes it and minimizes the suffering in a manipulative way to shoehorn a rather cliche reminder to adhere to religious dogma and to keep your mind pure and holy and only on Jesus. A plain-faced telling of the narrative on its own makes it seem kind of benign, but the weirdly sappy tone of it all does a pretty poor job of hiding how contrived the emotion is and how unnatural it all is. Every facet of the lyrics is crafted to maximize the superficial primal tug at the heartstrings; it’s supposed to feel extremely tender and sweet, and aside from being completely transparently manufactured, the response it delivers to the story it sets up is creepily unhuman, the opposite of a natural response to the details of what the song presents, and its misplaced sense of justice makes the song a pretty apt representation of so much wrong with evangelicals’ attitudes surrounding Christmas.

0/10

“All I Want for Christmas Is You”

by Mariah Carrey. Ending on a positive note. Probably the best and most classic modern Christmas song to come out in my lifetime, it’s a sweet, romantic, upbeat love tune that really captures the best aspects of the holiday season. Never mind the relatives and their dumb political views and drama or the religious nonsense that people get so disingenuously up in arms about, or the consumerism. Christmas at its best is a time to appreciate love, and this song gets it.

9/10

And that is it, for me, I obviously know I will never be able to rate every Christmas/holiday song ever.

I had some time, so I had a little fun and charted the 38 semi-serious ratings of Christmas songs here, which I will also be doing with the 200-something metal albums I’ve been reviewing and now rating at the end of the year. Should be interesting. Now 38 isn’t a particularly huge sample of the huge swath of Christmas songs, nor was it random (I just listed a bunch of songs I was familiar with). It didn’t produce the normal curve I somewhat expect for the larger sample of metal albums later at the end of the year; rather, it shows a two-peak pattern, which could be due to the sample size, or maybe it just illustrates a somewhat unsurprising polarized sample of opinions on Christmas songs. The songs that I remember that are (mostly) pretty common, I either really like or really don’t like, most of the songs are not in the middle. These were songs I have heard for a long time and remembered pretty vividly, so I’ve developed some relatively strong opinions on them. Anyway, look at this graaaaaaphh.

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 26

TW: abuse

——-

“How does it feel? Well it feels like I’m on fire!”

---

Vic Fuentes kissed me.

Out of nowhere, Vic Fuentes’ lips were on mine.

And I was just sitting there. Like a fucking moron!

I guess he noticed because it was over as soon as it started. He pulled away all too quickly and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” he said uncomfortably, “I shouldn’t have done that. I just....I just thought....Fuck.”

He leaned back until he was lying on his back on the floor, his hands over his face. He groaned into his palms.

“I’m a stupid motherfucker,” he groaned. It sounded muffled but I could hear the conviction behind each word.

I was still left speechless. The feeling of Vic’s lips on mine was still strong on my senses. And I was still beating myself up for not kissing him back. From the looks of it, that was also why he was beating himself up.

“I’m so fucking sorry, Kells. I’m so, so fucking sorry. That was dumb of me. Shit.” His hands were off of his face, but his eyes were squeezed shut. He didn’t want to look at me, but the pain on his face was more than apparent from where I was sitting.

I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault; that I was just surprised but if it had registered quicker, we would be making out now. But I couldn’t find the words to tell him. So I did the next best thing.

I got out of the chair I was sitting in and got on the floor. I crawled until I was by his feet then straightened up to straddle him.

Vic opened his eyes. “What are you...?” he trailed off. I didn’t respond. Instead I leaned down and kissed him.

As soon as our lips connected I felt sparks shoot down my back. And this time, Vic kissed me back. His hands ran down my sides to the small of my back where they slide up my shirt to rest on the spot. The feeling of his skin on mine sent more sparks through me.

I could’ve stayed kissing him forever. His lips were so soft and molded with mine perfectly. Even though I had started it, he took control.

He strengthened his hold on my body as he kissed me harder. I ran my fingers through his hair just to get a grip on something. That just caused him to kiss me harder.

He held me tight and flipped us over so he was straddling me. Our lips parted in that moment. He looked down into my eyes with lust in his. I stared into his dark eyes as I ran my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. I chuckled.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you,” he whispered, his eyes still closed.

“Then why’d you stop?”

When he opened his eyes this time I saw that the lust was gone. “Because,” he started, “if I don’t then we’d end up doing things that we’re not ready for yet. I don’t wanna start something that you’d never want me to finish.” He ended his sentence with a cocky wink that caused me to shove him playfully.

“You’re such a perv.”

“Maybe, and maybe I can show you how much of a perv I can be.” This time his sentence ended with him nipping at my neck. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Vic Fuentes’ lips on my skin.

“Maybe,” I whispered.

Too quickly his lips were off of my body. Then his body was off my body. I pouted.

“Don’t give me that look,” he chastised. “I’d love to stay on top of you, but I can hear my mom downstairs. Do you wanna stay for dinner?”

I sat up. “No, I’ve gotta get home. My mom’s shift ended early today.”

He nodded. “Okay, well let me walk you out.” He reached down to grab my hand and pulled me up. Once I was on steady on my feet he pulled me in and kissed me again. This one was softer and not at all as heated as the one before it. I melted into him as he held me.

He pulled away after a little bit and sighed. “I’m so glad I get to do that now.”

I blushed, unable to hide the fact that I was just as glad. He locked our fingers together as we walked out of his room.

“So,” I started as he led me down the stairs, “are we dating now or...?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, “do you wanna be?”

I blushed. “Maybe...”

We reached the door when Vic took both of my hands in his. “Just say the word Kells and I’m all yours.” He kissed the back of my hand before giving me a soft, sexy smile.

I could’ve melted right there.

“I, um, I should go,” I stuttered. Damn him for getting me so flustered.

Vic chuckled at my reaction. “Okay, I’ll stop bothering you now.” He opened the door and ushered me out. “But I’ll be thinking about those lips of yours on mine all night.”

I turned crimson at his words. “I hate you.”

“Sure you do.” I rolled my eyes. “Have a good night, Quinn. I’ll text you later.”

I nodded. “Seeya.”

I walked down the porch steps to my car, got in, and drove home with a smile on my face and a fluttering heart the entire time.

***

The week of thanksgiving came and went all too quickly. Since the move and the recent divorce proceedings, Mom didn’t have enough money for her and me to travel back Oregon to see my grandparents, so we enjoyed a relaxing week at home with each other. It was nice being able to spend that time with her.

I didn’t tell her about Vic though. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.

In fact, I didn’t tell anyone about Vic and our kiss. Part of me didn’t want to jinx what had happened, and another part of me was just saving my own ass.

What if Vic didn’t want anyone to know? He was a popular and feared kid at school. If word got out that he had kissed the new kid he’d probably hate me. And what if he wasn’t out? That would be even more embarrassing for him. I’d never want to out someone before they were ready.

These were just some of the thoughts that were running through my head as I was FaceTimeing Vic.

“What’s on your mind, Quinn?”

I shook my head to clear out the voices. “Nothing. Just trying to get out of my food coma.”

Vic chuckled. “So I’m guessing you and your mom had a feast last night?”

“Yeah. Mom kinda goes all out for thanksgiving. This year especially.” This was our first thanksgiving without Rick, and according to Mom, it was going to be one of many. She was really done with his shit and she didn’t want anything to do with him.

“What about you? How was your thanksgiving?” I asked Vic.

“It was nice. We have a lot of family that comes over for holidays. Got to hang with some extended family that we haven’t seen in a while.”

I nodded. “You know, I’m kinda jealous.”

“Why’s that?”

“All of my extended family is back in Oregon, and even though I miss them, I’m not down for going up into the middle of nowhere.”

Vic chuckled. “So I take it you like Cali more than you thought, huh?”

“No,” I said defensively, “I just like the city.”

“Sure Kells,” Vic said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes to try to conceal the smile that was playing on my lips. I always got a little giddy when he used my nickname.

“You know, we should do something tomorrow.”

“Something like what?” I asked.

“Like dinner maybe?” It came out as a question, a nervous question.

“Victor Fuentes, are you trying to ask me out?”

He scratched the back of his neck. “Something like that.”

“What’d you have in mind, Fuentes?”

He shrugged. “Maybe you come over and we can make out in my room.” That wasn’t a question. It took everything in me not to scream out “yes” the instant that sentence left his mouth.

“Well don’t get too excited there, Quinn. Your dick might jump out of your pants.”

“Oh, you’d love to see that.”

“I’d love to do more than see it.” I chewed on my bottom lip and daydreamed about being with Vic at that very moment. All of this flirting was going to put an end to me if we didn’t act on it soon.

“Maybe I should come over now,” I said before going back to chewing on my lip. I tried to do so oh-so seductively. Not completely sure I pulled it off.

“Hell, I’ll come to you.”

I almost told him to do it when I heard glass shattering from downstairs. Vic must have heard it too because he gave me the same confused look I was giving my phone.

I stood from my laying position on the bed and walked to my closed door. I opened it and looked down the ledge from the top of the stairs.

I saw Rick. He was drunk and holding a golf club.

He swung the club at a vase that was on a side table from the front door. Then he swung it at the pictures on the wall, knocking them off and shattering the frames.

Then he started walking toward the living room.

“Kells...” I ignored Vic’s call because my focus was on one thing: my mom. I knew she was still downstairs.

“Kellin!”

“Shut up!” I whispered harshly. I turned the volume down on my phone and put it in my pocket. I didn’t hear what else Vic had to say, but I know he was trying to talk me out of what I was going to do next.

I tiptoed down the stairs and crept into the living room. Luckily Rick wasn’t in there, but that meant he was in the kitchen with Mom. As if on cue, I heard Mom scream.

I rushed to the wall closest to the doorway and did my best to stay out of sight.

“C’mon Mary, it’s a holiday. Don’t you wanna spend some time with your husband?” A crash came after that sentence.

“Please, just leave,” Mom pleaded.

“Why would I wanna do that? This is the longest we’ve talked since I moved out. Let’s catch up.” There was another crash followed by my mom’s sobs. I peeked into the kitchen and saw that Rick had backed my mom into a corner. She was trapped.

My mind was racing. How could I help her? What could I possibly do without getting us both killed? The sad reality was that I had no idea, and the longer I stalled the worse it would get.

“You fucking kick me out, take my job from me, serve me with papers, and ruin my fucking reputation. You deserve everything that’s coming to you!” he seethed. I saw him swing the club and hit my mom’s shin. She yelped in pain.

“Oh did I hurt you?” he asked sarcastically. “Good. Now you know how I feel.” He swung and hit her again, this time in the stomach. It was hard enough for her to start coughing up a bit of blood.

I couldn’t watch anymore. I did the first thing I could think of: I snuck up behind Rick and grabbed the club as he brought it back.

“Oh, it’s you.” He had turned to see what stopped his next attack. When his eyes met mine, he gave me a sick smile. “The fucking cock block. I’ve been wanting to do this for some fucking time.”

I didn’t know what he meant but I soon found out. He pulled the golf club closer to his body which brought me closer to him. Then he brought his knee up to my stomach and swung the club at my head when I let go because of the pain.

There was a ringing sound and black spots in my vision. I fell to the ground upon impact.

I heard my mom scream. I felt the pressure of Rick’s shoe against my outstretched arm as he stepped on it.

“Where’s the tough guy, huh?” Rick asked cockily. “You can’t stand up to me now, can you?” A kick to the stomach. “Little bitch.” Another kick.

The black spots in my vision got bigger and more opaque. Every part of my body that was in contact with Rick’s foot ached then numbed itself, as if I was losing all sense of feeling in my body.

I heard my mom begging for me to stay with her, to breathe. Then I heard her get hit by Rick because she “talked too much.” He must have hit her in the head because the last thing I remember was blinking my eyes open to see hers closing in front of me.

[freeshavacado]

My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

[faunahudson]

The Hudsons Strike Back

Who: Sawyer & Fauna Hudson @sawyer-hudson (guest appearances by Molly Sheridan and Tommy Deluca)

When:  26th of November 2020

Where: Ohio

What: Fauna and Sawyer meet up with two blasts from Sawyers past, with explosive consequences

Warnings: Slut shaming, mild violence, threatening language, references to unsafe practices, homophobia and an almost slur

“I’ll admit you Americans do decorate for Fall better.” Fauna conceded as they passed shop window after shop window filled with Thanksgiving themed displays. “Obviously Ireland is superior in every other way. But I’ll give you this one thing.” She teased pressing herself a little tighter against Sawyers side. The bright smile on her face having been stuck there practically since they’d left their claim interview.

Sawyer supposed that, growing up with Thanksgiving, he'd never had been one to notice the decorations, but spent a good look at some of the display windows that Fauna had pointed out. He wrapped his coat-laden arm around her tiny waist, laughing slightly at her teasing words. They had barely stopped laughing since the moment their claim came through, and he couldn't see it stopping anytime soon. "We really love Thanksgiving over here," He told her, "but yeah, Ireland is definitely superior. I was amazed at seeing all of the Belfast Christmas decorations last year."

She felt so warm despite the wind, as he wrapped his arm around on her waist her body alight with her own delight at the world right now. “I like the american commitment to going as big as possible with everything, so you made up a holiday and now you're gonna like.. do it hard." Fauna agreed knowing it was about time that she gave her new homeland it’s dues. "So remind me.. what was your hang out around here when you were in high school? I need to contextualise all those fun pictures that your Mom showed me this morning."

Sawyer furrowed his brow at Fauna's subtle dig at Thanksgiving. "Made up a holiday?" He repeated, "Surely, all holidays are made up in some way or another. Is this the whole Irish Catholicism thing about it being something not centred around Jesus?" Sawyer knew that, the actual reality behind Thanksgiving was a lot more grim than sitting around with family to share thanks and eat turkey, but sadly, his patronism had to win out against this one. Her other question made him laugh, and roll his eyes. "I still cannot believe Mom showed you all those pictures. They're super embarassing." He shook his head. "Um, there's a Barnes and Noble I spent a lot of time in, over that way. There's also this record store -- Groamy's CD's and Tapes -- it's not in here, but we can head over later if we can be bothered?" Sawyer suggested, directing her towards the stores he and his friends hung out in their youth. "There's also this, like, froyo place. I spent a lot of time there with --" He trailed off, noticing someone not even three feet away from the couple, "-- Molly." That wasn't who he had actually spent time with at the frozen yogurt shop -- that was actually Leanne -- but Molly was the person in front of time, who had noticed Sawyer in the same awkward way he had noticed her, with neither of them pretending they hadn't just seen the other. Basically, Sawyer's worst nightmare.

“If the holiday doesn’t have deep roots in Celtic paganism then I’m afraid it doesn’t hold much appeal for me.” Fauna shrugged with a teasing little giggle. “If I don’t feel the mood includes having been able to celebrate it in the woods like witches then I’m afraid it simply doesn’t get me going.” She declared, patting his chest through his coat as she reached to adjust her hair a little. “I can’t wait for her to get out the second album, apparently you went through a phase of holding up books in photos and I definitely think you should go back through that phase so you can self identify as a nerd.” She giggled, nodding along with him describing the places they could visit. “I like froyo.” She started and then noticed him staring at  something, and with a little curl in the bottom of her stomach she noticed Molly. It was odd, seeing her in the flesh when she’d spent so long pouring over her instagram pictures. Without really thinking about it the brunette leaned in closer to Sawyer unsure if this was a motion of support for him or an act possessiveness. “Do you want to say hi?” She asked quietly.

He shook his head with a laugh. "I always knew you were a witch, this basically confirms it." He told her with a laugh, cringing at the memories he knew that photo album would brings. "I mean I can self-identify as a nerd without such a cringey practice, thank you." However, after he noticed Molly, he admittedly didn't hear what Fauna said at first, and it seemed like time had stopped around him, his heart beating erratically. He heard Fauna's question slightly too late, feeling her body lean in even closer to him. "Hmm, what?" He asked, it suddenly registering to him. "Uh, I don't know if it's best...." The Dominant trailed off when it was made apparent his decision had been made for him, as Molly closed the space between them. "Sawyer?" Molly asked, almost as if hoping it wasn't him, that it was Finn with a haircut, or some third dopplegänger wandering around the Lima, Ohio mall. "Hey, it's good to see you." She stepped towards him as if to give him a hug, faltering slightly, and settling for just making it seem like she shifted her weight instead. "Molly!" Sawyer said, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Yeah, good to see you too." After a moment, he glanced down at Fauna. "Oh, so, Fauna, this is...Molly, my...er..." He felt rude to refer to her as her ex, but he also felt rude if he didn't acknowledge their relationship, so he took the coward's way out and said nothing at all, just trailed off. "And Molly, this is Fauna...my...claim."

Fauna tried not to let her face be pinched by the nerves and jealously that she was feeling. She knew it was a poisonous habit to compare yourself to other women, to survey Mollys outfit and wonder if she looked better than her. If she’d heard any girl she knew doing such a thing she would have given them a dressing down. So she painted on a soft smile, hoping that her malice played as nerves. Though she kept her body tight against Sawyers frame as she spoke. She waited to see if Molly really would go for the hug for a moment, and was relieved when she didn’t. Seeing the tension in Sawyers frame, and noting that his face seemed tight. He was uncomfortable, and so it was her job to make this more comfortable. To put him first even though she quite wanted to drag him down and kiss him until he wouldn’t remember Mollys name. “Pleased to meet you. And kinda weird to see you come to life.” She chattered offering Molly her own hand to shake. “I’ve seen you on Finns insta.” She explained in what was a partial lie.

A part of Sawyer was amazed that Fauna and Molly -- two very different parts of his life -- were speaking, and kinda jus stood there as Fauna offered out her hand to shake. Molly took it with a warm smile, always so infectiously nice to everyone she met. "Pleased to meet you too, that reminds me I need to hit up Finn, haven't caught up with him in a while. And, uh," She glanced between the two of them, "congratulations! On the...the claim." Sawyer's heart ached at the way she had stumbled over her words, not even bearing to imagine how it felt to see someone so happy an content. "Thank you," Sawyer said, biting his lip, not knowing what else to say. It was a lie, he knew what he wanted to say. He was saying to Fauna less than 2 months ago how he wanted closure with Molly for that night, for the way their relationship ended. But a busy mall the day before Thanksgiving wasn't the time or place to discuss his past, especially when he was with Fauna, his future. "Do you, still live here, in town?" He asked. "Yeah," Molly said, with a nod, seemingly suspicion. Sawyer nodded in response. "Good, we're here until Wednesday. If um, if you want to catch up sometime?" He suggested, heart racing, clutching round Fauna's waist as if his life depended on it. There were many ways it could go. She could say no, make up an excuse and that be that. She could say yes, and it'd be awful and open up old wounds that'd take longer to heal. Or...she could say yes, and it'd go surprisingly well. The risk of it all was in the asking, he supposed.

Fauna turned off the part of her brain that wanted to overanalyse every word that Molly was saying for now, hating how much she resented how sweet the other girl was being. “He’s knocking about town somewhere.” Fauna added as she shook the other girls hand. Glad that Sawyer was far too distracted to note the fake quality to the smile that she was giving. She was sure Molly wouldn’t know the difference, but Sawyer knew her too well usually for this shitty performance to pass.  “I’m sure he’d be pure thrilled to see you.” The brunette confirmed continuing her barrage of friendliness. “Cheers. It’s a fun time of year for it to happen. Whilst the yanks are giving thanks.” Fauna rhymed, wondering why she had suddenly become Doctor Suess. He invites her, and Fauna can feel how tense he is. Her little hand smoothing across his back in comfort. She wanted him to know that she supported him, that she understood why he needed to have this conversation. “Please take him off my hands.” She encouraged gently. “I’ve got Christmas shopping to do, and all these limbs can occasionally get in the way.” She added, taking the cheap shot at her boyfriend to let Molly know that it was okay to say yes, and that she would be far out of the way if this little meet up were to happen.

Sawyer relaxed at the way Fauna was soothing him, knowing his laugh at her silly, yet adorable rhyme, and the teasing about his height sounded way too fake and tight to his own ears, trying to calm himself from the panic, to not let the troubled inside bleed through onto the put-together outside. Half of him wanted Molly to say no, the other half yes, and the few seconds between him asking, and her answering was driving him mad. Molly had laughed at Fauna's joke, "Tell me about it, I was always scared about him accidentally catching himself on a railing and knocking a display over. Or bumping his head on one of those ceiling beams." She agreed, and Sawyer found it nice they were bonding over...something. Even if it was his tallness. She turned back to Sawyer. "Yeah, I'd be up for...grabbing a coffee or something? Maybe Friday?" She suggested, before turning back to Fauna to ask, "That's okay, right? No special plans or anything?" He supposed she either asked Fauna for some special 'girl' thing, or maybe her own experiences with Sawyer knew that, no matter the designations, Sawyer was never the one to make the plan in the relationship, and even now, as a claimed Dominant, he knew Fauna would be the one making the bulk decisions on how they'd be spending their day or night.

Fauna was glad Molly laughed, she really did want the other girl to feel like she was okay with everything. Because objectively she was. She wanted them both to be able to get closure on what was clearly a very painful chapter of their lives, she just didn’t want them to get too much closure to a point that they missed one another or wanted to start over. “He’s a danger to himself and society when he gets going. It’s why him and his brother have to wear so many layers.. to kinda cling film their limbs.” It was a weak joke and she’d probably apologise for it later, but it was the best that she could come up with while she was so distracted. Molly looked to her and the nasty little Tinkerbell buried deep down inside smirked. As if to say ‘yes nothing happens with him without my say so’ but she pushed the fairy into the drawer and smiled the best and softest one that she should. “No special plans. You kids have fun, maybe I’ll let Finn persuade me into that Maize Maze he’s so convinced that I should visit.”

Sawyer felt himself blush at all the height jokes, ducking his face into his scarf so they didn’t have further ammunition regarding his reddened face. “Coffee sounds good,” He said, slightly delayed, nodding when Fauna gave the go-ahead that Friday was fine. Molly nodded, smiling politely still. “I mean, the Maize Maze is the only selling point of Lima, so you may as well go see our famous landmark. I mean it’s no Statue of Liberty or anything but it’s something.” Sawyer laughed at this, thinking back to all the times Finn had begged to go to that maze, with a reluctant Sawyer and Molly joining him, knowing his brother would be really grateful for Fauna to take him up on that offer. “Honestly I’m sure if he could, Finn would have moved into that maze a long time ago.” He commented, “Um so, Friday...at the Starbucks on the corner?” He suggested, wanting them to meet up in a neutral place that meant nothing to either of them, that also granted them some privacy. “Sure. Two-ish?” Molly asked, and a part of Sawyer wondered if she was hoping that time was too inconvenient for him, and a part of him wanted to lie and say it couldn’t work, but it was true that he had no plans that day. So he swallowed down the lie and grinned. “Two-ish works. It was...um, it was really good to see you.” He said hesitantly. Molly’s smile formed into something that, whilst genuine, was tighter. “Yeah, you too. And uh, it was really nice meeting you too, Fauna.” She said with a wider smile, and Sawyer wondered if he imagined the sad glint in her eyes for a millisecond.

“Well I guess I can perform some kind of study on the difference in Maize Maze foliage between Ireland and Ohio.” Fauna found herself saying without really knowing why. Finn had seemed very excited by the idea of them all going into the Maze together and would probably be disappointed that Sawyer had made plans without him. But Fauna was sure as long as Alexis went the other Hudson brother wouldn’t really care. The tension between the two other people standing there remained in the air, and Fauna reached over with her spare hand to subtly take his much larger one in hers and to gently squeeze it. To say, it’s okay I’m here, you’re doing so very well with all of this. Seeing Molly here must have been something akin to bumping into Charlotte and instead of running Sawyer was doing everything in his power to face this all head on and for that Fauna had to support him. Molly addressed her, and Fauna made sure she was smiling when she said. “Lovely to meet you too Molly. I hope you have a wonderful holiday.” She nodded, trying not to sound as distracted by Sawyers discomfort as she actually was.

Sawyer let out a small contorted laugh at Fauna’s randomness. He knew she had her moments, it was the Flanagan gene, but she rarely caught him by surprise like this. His heart was pounding in his chest, smoothed only by Fauna clasping his hand in hers and squeezing it. I’m here, she silently told him. He squeezed back; an I know, a thank you, and I’m here too. They finally shared their awkward goodbyes with Molly and she shuffled away, Sawyer purposefully walking past the store they were originally heading for to collapse on a bench, feeling nauseous, limbs heavy. “Jesus Christ,” He murmured, his large hands supporting his head. “That was the worst thing to have ever happened.”

She was simply glad that he’d squeezed back, there was a part of her that had worried he’d be too nervous to care about their little signal. She kept hold of him as she watched Molly go, silently hating the other girl for having made the day take this turn. She let him pull her along, heart aching as he collapsed into the bench, small hands finding his shoulders as he sat down, standing over him protectively. “Hey.. you did so well Sawyer. Honestly you were so brave, inviting her out like that. I couldn’t be more proud of you.” She promised, rubbing her thumbs over his shoulders. “You were so kind and open. It literally couldn’t have gone better. Even if it was bloody awful to get through.” Fauna promised him, feeling like she wanted to shield him from the world while he took a moment to recover.

He gave himself a moment to compose himself, to slow his heartbeat, and control his reddened face. Fauna's very presence there helped immensely, and he didn't know if he could have done it without her by his side. "Yeah?" He asked, looking up at her, feeling uncharacteristically small in this moment. "I'm just...I'm just glad it's over." Sawyer offered a small grin to his submissive, "Hopefully that litle detour down Memory Lane is the only one..." He trailed off as he noticed someone else make their way down through the mall, and Sawyer just watched with a blank stare, in disbelief that he had just jinxed himself. But there he was, Tommy de Luca, in the flesh. Sawyer silently prayed the other man wouldn't see him, but apparently the universe was ignoring his pleas today, as the high school bully  of the Hudson-Hummel clan beelined towards Sawyer and Fauna.

Fauna just continued to smooth her thumbs over his shoulders as he composed himself, she would give him all the time in the world if he needed it. “Yeah, you were friendly and open and you left things open for her and that’s all anyone could hope for.” The brunette promised him, reaching to take one of his big hands. “It is over and you don’t have to think about it for a while. I think we need a winter warmer.. come on I’ll buy you the biggest gingerbread latte that Starbucks does-“ She started. “Oi Hudson. Didn’t know you were in town.” Tommy called coming all the way up to them. “Having a cry already? Sad that drunk old Dad won’t make it to Thanksgiving.” He taunted trying to look around Fauna. Who turned to him with a little scowl gracing her face. “I don’t know who you think you are, but you can get fucked. Stat.” The Irish girl demanded waving her hand  as if to direct him to leave. “Aww it’s cute that you’ve got this little girl standing up for you Hudson. That’s a pretty short skirt she’s got on, I can practically see her ass hanging out.”

All of Fauna's soothing words of encouragement didn't register to Sawyer as Tommy came up to them, taunting them. It had been years since they had last seen each other, and honestly, Sawyer pitied the other man. He was so scared of his feelings and himself, and just had to take it out on others. A part of Sawyer, the nasty high school jock who stirred when Tommy's voice was heard, wanted to loudly point that out and embarass him, but he pushed it down. No matter how vile Tommy was, Sawyer was to show him some compassion. And he was willing to ignore him until he could feel his legs again and he and Fauna could carry on their day. Until he came for Fauna that was. Then it was all cards off the table. Sawyer stood tall, all 6"5 of him towering over Tommy, dropping Fauna's hand as he did, scowl etched on his face. "That little girl, Tommy, happens to be my claim, Fauna," Sawyer informed him, voice low and dangerous, "normally I'd list her accomplishments, like how she graduated high school early back in Belfast, or how she finished med school with top grades, or her list of amazing extracurriculars, including being a flyer on the cheer team of one of the best finishing schools in the country, and captaining science club." His scowl turned into a nasty smirk, a piece of vital information the couple had laughed about months earlier suddenly popping into his head, "But I don't need to, because she informed me last month you seemed to have liked a photo of hers from 275 weeks ago. So it seems like you pretty much know our deal. Now," He clenched his fist and his jaw, "Get out of my fucking face, de Luca, or the 'ass hanging out' of my submissive's skirt will be the last thing you ever fucking see."

Tommy seemed pleased when Sawyer stood, obviously having hoped to gain a rise out of him when he mentioned Fauna. Willing to do anything to capture the Dominants attention. Though there was a flicker of something akin to fear in his eye when Sawyer mentioned that he'd liked Faunas picture. "Well.. I'm a fan of her work. As I'm sure is every fucking guy in town, I've seen her little videos. Makes sense that the only girl you'd manage to get is a fucking slut- but then it's probably the Daddy issues that bonded you." Tommy sneered. Fauna put a little hand on Sawyers chest, she didn't care if he hit Tommy but she felt like he would care. Like he would feel like he'd let himself down or something. Tommys words stung because he was repeating one of her more significant fears. That all of Sawyers friends, and relatives would see her videos and wonder why he was ever with her. That they would all think he'd done rather badly for himself, their all American boy, and yet it was more sad to her that Tommy had taken the time to watch her video at all. Considering the fact that he was most likely a gay man. "Thanks for your views Tommy, bit sad though that you spend your time stalking me rather than- I don't know finding a submissive or a life of your own. I think it's time we all moved on from high school.. don't you? Or is your life really so fucking empty that Sawyer and I's relationship is the only thing you have to think about." She snapped.

Tommy bristled again, his face briefly twisting with an expression of something akin to shame as he looked past Fauna at Sawyer. Fauna almost felt bad for him because she could almost see the pining buried deep underneath all that bravado. She more than anyone understood what it was like to want Sawyer more than anything else. "You really are pathetic these days Hudson, letting your whore of a submissive fight your battles for you. Did you finally end up on drugs like your deadbeat Dad? Drinking to get yourself through the day. Reflex's too slow to take me on like in high school, or maybe you're scared that even she'll leave you if she see's what a fucking psychopath you are. That's why every other fucking girl you ever dated left you right, scared you'd fucking snap on them. Because you're a fagg-" While Tommy had been speaking Fauna had removed one of her mittens from her hand, and curled her fist in the exact way that Percy had once taught her after a few too many. Then she simply pulled back her arm and punched him as hard as she could possibly muster in the nose, her fist meeting his face with a satisfying crack. Tommy recoiled but Fauna advanced on him. "Don't you ever fucking speak to him like that again you vile little cunt. He's too fucking nice to ever ruin you but I'm bloody not. You ever so much as breathe in my Dominants direction ever again and I'll break your fucking arm and I'll make sure you never so much as take out a pizza in peace. You hear me?"

Each word hit Sawyer like a tonne of bricks, and he could feel the anger practically burning in his veins. His fists were clenched, and he stepped closer, fully aware he was going to give Tommy exactly wha the other wanted to get out of his taunting. However, Fauna was too quick for him. He looked in shock horror as her small fists made contact with Tommy's face, and he winced as he heard the definite cracking of the other man's nose. The threat Fauna made to him wasn't pretty either. Sawyer frantically looked around, noticing some people were beginning to stare, and he knew he had to do something before they got in trouble. Without thinking, he picked up Fauna and put her aside, before pushing Tommy against the wall in a blind mix of panic and rage. "If her hand is fucking broken from what you made her do, you're finished De Luca." He growled, before dropping his grip on him. He then swooped Fauna up and began to briskly walk away from the scene, muttering the word 'fuck' repeatedly under his breath until they were safely back in Sawyer's mom's car, luckily not followed by Tommy or any security personnel. "Fuck!" He then exclaimed once he could breathe again.

Fauna couldn't stop herself from smirking just for a minute when she saw how completely she had broken Tommys nose, the doctor inside of her told her he'd need it reset pretty pronto. Her smirk faded when she saw the panicked look on her Dominants face, and felt pretty terrible for scaring him. Surprised when he lifted her up and put her aside, an apology dying on her lips. She tried really hard not to be aroused by the way that Sawyer pushed Tommy up against the wall, and instead just sort of stood there until he pulled her off her feet again. She didn't say a word as he carried her out of there, flexing her hand a little. It wasn't broken, Percys advice had proved once again to be solid, it might need icing later though she'd hit Tommy as hard as she could muster. "I'm sorry Sir." She said in a small voice once they were in the car. "I know you didn't want to hit him, but I couldn't let him say all those things to you that weren't true. I know I was a bad girl."

Sawyer’s heartbeat was slowing from the adrenaline rush he received during those few moments interacting with Tommy. In response to Fauna’s apology, his heart panging at the softness in her tone, he leaned over and kissed her hard. “Thank you,” He murmured, “don’t be sorry. He deserved it. You were amazing.” Sawyer promised. “I just really didn’t want us to get arrested a few days after being claimed.”

The tiny brunette felt a sense of relief when he leaned over and kissed her, her hand coming up to touch his cheek. “Oh good.” She responded breathlessly. “I mean I don’t want to get arrested either, I’ll be honest I wasn’t really thinking about it. My brain was more focused on making more nobody ever spoke to you like that ever again. I don’t know how you managed it in high school. He’s a class A cunt.” She said without remorse.

He let out a short laugh as she explained her reasoning behind the actions. "Honestly, that's how I managed it in high school," He admitted, "I'm surprised his nose isn't permanently bandaged up." Sawyer let out a sigh as he thought about Tommy again. "God, you have to really feel sorry for a kid like that, so angry at himself he takes it out on others in that way." He glanced down, gently taking Fauna's hand. "It's not broken, is it? Because I will make good on my promise and go back and kill him for you."

Fauna laughed too. "I mean I hardly blame you, if anyone ever spoke to Ror like that I'd have made damn well sure they didn't have teeth by the time the bell rang." She shrugged. "It is sad.. and so weird that he's still stalking you hard enough that he knew that much about me. I mean I get it because I'm also like obsessed with you but still I wish he could just come to terms with himself." She said quietly, shaking her head as he took her hand. "No it's not broken, it'll bruise but that's a given considering how hard I hit him. Percy taught me how to throw a punch without breaking my hand when I was like nine, it was some of the only useful knowledge he's ever shared with me."

Sawyer nodded in agreement, imagining the visual. "Well, that was the case for me in school, especially with Finn. Tommy tortured the poor guy. It's just...I keep remembering the day he approached me, and how normal and friendly he was," He shrugged, "Sometimes I feel like hooking up with him was the wrong call. Like it just made him feel worse about himself, confirmed it for him all those feelings were slightly more complex than he hoped to be." Truthfully, Sawyer didn't know much about how Tommy was truly feeling, his therapist even said that she couldn't diagnose him from a second-hand account, but that's the conclusion they had 'hypothetically' reached. "Well, let's go get some ice on it. Maybe something with sugar in it. Your dad really taught you to punch like that?" He paused,thinking about Percy, and laughed. "You know what, yeah, I can see it."

Fauna reached with the hand that he wasn’t holding to push his hair off his face tenderly. “You couldn’t have known.. people start relationships out of things like that. Like people who get married... Hooking up with him could have ended with you guys even just being friendly.. but it didn’t and that’s his choice. You gave him a chance that he didn’t deserve by even getting a hot dog with him... one day probably when he’s like 48 and finally ready to accept himself. You’ll get some weird apology via Facebook messenger. Or maybe you won’t, but either way he’s the one that not only did you dirty here but also did himself dirty. Because hooking up with you is literally the third best thing in the world.” She pressed a kiss against his left cheek. “Getting to know you, that’s the second best.”  Fauna pressed a second kiss against his right cheek. “And getting to love you is the greatest privilege in the world.” She told him with her impish smile. “Sugar! Yes please.” She agreed happily. “Perfect thing to teach your nine year old after you’ve had a pint or eight. How not to break your hand when punching someone.”

"I can't wait to read out the weird Facebook message when we're sat on our porch watching the sunset," He teased lightly, her words washing over him in a soothing manner. Fauna always knew the right thing to say, and Sawyer was ultimately grateful. He grinned as she listed the top three favourite things about him, feeling himself blush at the words. "That's funny, because loving you is the greatest privilege to me. Guess our lists are pretty similar." He murmured, before catching his lips against hers. "Okay, let's head to a grocery store. Who knows, maybe Cassidy will be lurking in the deli aisle, or Brad is hiding among the cereals." He joked with a weak smile, shaking his head at the idea of Fauna's dad. "Well it came in handy. We should send him a bottle of whiskey as a thank you." He deadpanned, not sure where this random bout of dry humour had come from, probably still in shock from the rollercoaster he had been on today.

She was glad that he seemed less tense, that she'd managed to soothe over some of the hurt of this particularly jarring little trip down memory lane. "As long as he doesn't hope you'll run into his arms in the sunset I'd enjoy that very much." The little brunette agreed, kissing him for a long lazy moment before smiling when he returned her compliment. "I think we have a lot of similar lists which is good, considering you agreed to be my prisoner for life once after I held you at knife point." Fauna laughed at the idea of Brad lingering in the cereals. "It's okay Sawyer the wild Brad is more scared of you than you are of him." She giggled, and then let out another stream of giggles when he joked about the bottle of whiskey. "Or just the half drunk one in our kitchen?"

Sawyer chuckled at the imagery. "If he ever ran down towards me, I'd honestly sock him, it's my knee jerk reaction." He admitted, feeling safe and secure that Fauna didn't care about his past, especially now he watched her throw a punch of his own. "Well, as you can tell, I held up my end of the bargain. I'll gladly be your prisoner until the end of time. Knife of no knife." He promised her, momentarily holding his fingers up in Scout's Honour. The words about Brad made him huff in amusement, mostly because they were true, but at least Brad's internalised homophobia was presented in him being overtly nice, too considerate about personal space and boundaries. It was still a shitty thing, to be hiding away like that, but at least Brad had some compassion. "God, that would drive your dad crazy, returning a half-drunk bottle of whiskey, maybe a note on how you do prefer 'that swill' after all," He joked in reference to Percy's dismissal approach to Fauna's usual drinks of choice. "Come on, Kitten," He then said, "let's blow this popsicle stand, before the cops hunt us down."

Fauna giggled at the image of Tommy trying to run into Sawyers arms, and Sawyer just panicking and smacking him one. "I mean I would also have that reaction to a lot of my past hook ups so maybe it's natural." The irish girl suggested lightly. "I let you collar me so I think I'm keeping my end of the deal too." She agreed, returning his scouts honour with her tongue stuck out for effect. "God, he's such a dick about alcohol until he's had a couple in him and then he's suddenly willing to do a shot of bathtub gin." She sighed, and then nodded. "Rodger that Sir, on the run we go. Bonnie and Clyde for life!"

[chxoticmuses]

SHIP QUESTIONS THINGY

Status: Accepting

@streetsofsecrets​ said: our ships?? 🥺 ( Leah & Munroe )

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?: When they both snuck into a club when they were teenagers and Leah ended up bumping into him and the rest is history.

What was their first impression of each other?: He honestly doesn’t remember much since he was high out of his mind, but he remembers himself thinking that she was a pretty unique and cool person to hang out with. 100/10 hasn’t had a life experience like that since.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?: heh, yes! He would tell his friends the story of their nightclub bender all the time and they encouraged him to try and look for her. And for a while, he did! But he kept getting sidetracked by things and thought he would never see her again. Later when they reunited later on in life at his interview, Bella slipped him Leah’s number before they left and I’m pretty sure June and Ben are #TeamMunroe.

Who felt romantic feelings first?: Munroe, it was something like love at first sight the night they met! A pretty girl who was ready to so drugs with him and wasn’t scared of his wacky personality? Yeah, it was a match made in Heaven.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?: Because of the whole aquarium number thing, I feel like Leah tried to force herself to stop liking him, but those feelings came back and hit her like a sledgehammer once they reconnected later on in life.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?: “Really? Them?” But not in a bad way kinda ish? It would just be shocking to the both of them because even though their careers are very similar, they’re two completely different people who were, and still kind are, on two different paths.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?: Munroe, but it wasn’t like he asked her to be his girlfriend or anything like that. He just started referring to her as his girlfriend and began calling her pet names one day and I guess she got used to it.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?: Very cheesy and very much Munroe-ish. He took her through one of those tunnel of love attractions along with those fake Venice boat ride things. Instead of being his usual foolish self that night, he was a lovey dovey fool instead. He was reciting rom coms like The Notebook, pulling out his phone every five minutes to read Pinterest quotes, and reciting whatever Shakespeare he knew the whole night.

What was their first kiss like?: It happened the night of their little club bender. It wasn’t really a sweet cold night kiss in New York that I usually write for our ships. Munroe just felt the urge to kiss her so he leaned in and did it while she was in the middle of a tangent about something.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?: To be honest, Munroe had all the experience he could possibly get by the time they reconnected.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?: Munroe is a very tall beefy dude, so I’m sure he hovers over her quite a few inches. As for age, shame on you for making me do math again, but I’m pretty sure he’s like a year or two older than her. Maybe more idk.

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?: Munroe and June have matching friendship bracelets that say ‘BFFs for life’ on them and he’s always spewing his nonsense at Ben, so I think it’s safe to say that he’s pretty close with her side of the family. As for his side of the family, they love Leah!! She’s the most sane and normal one out of them, so they appreciate having someone around like her who can ground them from time to time. They like to poke at her and make fun of how serious she is from time to time, but it’s all love.

Who takes the lead in social situations?: Leah. They don’t need him embarrassing them and scaring people off with more ridiculous life mottos.

Who gets jealous easier?: Heh, Munroe and he gets a passive aggressive type jealous when it comes to her. But he doesn’t trip too hard because he knows she’ll never find anyone with hair as luscious as his.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?: Munroe. He’s very vocal about how he feels, so he had no problem expressing to her that he loved her after like their fifth date.

What are their primary love languages?: It’s hard to say because both of their love languages are so different from each other, but I’d say it’s a mix between physical affection and acts of kindness.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?: Munroe is PDA monster, but even then he doesn’t cross Leah’s boundaries. He prefers to be extra and do a lot, but when it comes to her he dials it down a little bit. He’ll sneak up behind her and give her a big bear hug, greet her with a kiss in front of others, and hold her hand every time they’re walking side by side.

What are their favorite things to do together?: He really likes to watch her while she works and see everything come together for her. He sits by her side or close to her the whole time so he can give his opinions, help her word things, and all that Jazz. Besides that why do I feel like they still like getting high with each other? Maybe not smoking or anything hardcore like they were doing in the club, but they might split an edible together every now and then.

Who’s better at comforting the other?: The both of them. They really understand and get each other on like a spiritual level every since that night at the club since they spilled a lot about themselves.

Who’s more protective?: I’m going to give this one to Munroe again. He’s especially protective over her since she’s a journalist and he knows from being a criminal himself that journalists have a big target on their backs. He’d go crazy if anything ever happened to her.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?: A mix of both. Munroe adds in the verbal aspect of their affection, always complimenting her and telling her how amazing she is. While Leah, on the other hand, is more physically affectionate with him and does little things like give him kisses, rub him like he’s a dog (at his request of course), and cuddle him.

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?: Any cheesy romantic song from the late 80s.

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?: Leahroni. It has no meaning to it whatsoever. He just came up with it one day while brainstorming and decided to add roni to the end of her name. When he’s not calling her that, he calls her cringy pet names like snookums, sweat peas, and anything that sounds like a nickname your grandma would give you

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?: Munroe proposed to her with a ring pop in front of everyone. She probably thought he was joking at first, but he was dead serious. Later on when they went home he ended up giving her the real ring he bought her.

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?: They had two weddings actually! One was a big outside wedding that was decorated very nicely, had everyone from family to drug dealer buddies, they did traditional wedding routines, and all that good stuff. BUTTT, after a lot of convincing he got her to have a more private wedding with just close family and friends at one of those Vegas chapels. It was very epic; Elvis officiated their marriage, he sang karaoke to her instead of vowels, and he wore just a suit top and his spongebob underwear. He liked the second one much more.

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?: I used a baby generator and it said that they’re going to have a girl, so imma stick with that! It’s what Munroe was hoping for anyways so he can use the old Hollywood names he’s piled up over the years. Her name is Veronica, named after the great Veronica Lake of course, in hopes that she would be

Do they have any pets?: Munroe has 4 birds, a bearded dragon, a dog, and two guinea pigs. They’re littered around the headquarters, but his dog and one of his birds are located at his house. It’s like a tiny farm he loves it,

Who’s the stricter parent?: Definitely Leah! Munroe is the type of parent to let his kids do whatever and face the consequences on their own to teach them a lesson so he can rub it in their face later like “I told you so, but you never listen to me. See what not listening to me does for you?” Yeah.

Who kills the bugs in the house?: Munroe carefully places them back outside. They have a life too and their own civilization to get back to! He genuinely thinks that life for them is like A Bug’s Life or The Bee movie.

How do they celebrate holidays?: Besides spending time with family, Munroe likes to throw these epic parties at his headquarters. They’re like The Wolf of Wallstreet type office parties; super epic, almost have no real holiday theme to them, and result in a lot of bad decision making.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?: Munroe’s a pretty lazy guy. He hates waking up early and you can catch him showing up to work like three hours late. He’s going to force his bad habits on Leah too smh.

Who’s the better cook?: You’d be surprised at how much Munroe knows about cooking and how many foods he knows how to infuse with weed. I hope no one ate the sides he brought to Thanksgiving 😔

[missjanjie]

Branjie Fic | How Wonderful Life Is (While You’re in the World)

Title: How Wonderful Life Is (While You’re in the World) Summary: This is an epilogue/sequel to tiny dancer, because an extra dose was necessary. Word Count: ~1.7k Relationship: Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo) Rating: T

Read on AO3

“I thought you’d be a little more excited by now,” A’keria observed. “You only graduate college once.”

Vanessa shrugged, setting the glue stick down. They’d been spending the day decorating their caps, but her heart just wasn’t in it. And that was because her heart was doing ballet in France. “I just miss her.”

“Come on, this was supposed to be a fun distraction,” Blair gently chimed in, resting her hand on her shoulder. “Brooke would want you to enjoy yourself, right?”

“Fuck, you make it sound like she’s dead,” she groaned and rest her head against the table. “How am I supposed to do this shit for another two months?” They were only two weeks into the ten-week engagement, and she already decided she couldn’t handle it.

A’keria pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, you just a drama queen. Aren’t you visiting her next month anyway? Bitching and moaning like you ain’t about to go to fucking France.”

Vanessa pushed herself up off the table, only to slump into her chair. “Y’all just don’t get it. We haven’t spent more than a few weeks apart in four years. I got separation anxiety!” Her cheeks flushed red, she was still embarrassed - she was self aware enough to know she was being childish and maybe a bit self-centered, but she couldn’t help herself; next to her mom, Brooke Lynn was the most important person in her life.

Blair nodded sympathetically. “Aw, honey, we understand. Why don’t we pick this up tomorrow? You should go give her a call before it gets too late over there. Go ahead, we’ll clean up here.”

A’keria arched her brow. “We will?”

“Yes,” she glared

Vanessa wasn’t paying attention to the bickering going on between her friends. Once Blair had given her the go-ahead to leave, she was gathering her things and heading right out the door. She glanced at her phone on the way out - it was about ten at night in Brooke’s side of the world, if she remembered correctly.

And lucky for her, Brooke Lynn was still awake and willing to Skype by the time she returned to their apartment.

“You’ve got glitter all over your face,” Brooke observed with a soft chuckle. “What sort of fun have you been getting up to over there?”

“None, I promise,” she retorted flatly. “We was decorating our caps but I just wasn’t feeling it. It’s kinda tacky at this point anyway,” she added, pulling dried glue off of her fingertips and flicking it away.

She pouted sympathetically. “Poor baby,” she cooed. “I think you should decorate it, though. It’s not like you to ever blend in.”

A slight smile twitched at the corners of her lips. “Yeah, maybe,” she shrugged. “How’s shit over there?”

“I mean, it’s hard to complain about this place,” she admitted with a soft laugh. “The only thing it’s missing is my beautiful girlfriend,” she cooed, batting her lashes.

Vanessa chuckled softly, looking down and pushing her hair off of her shoulders. “So, you ain’t gonna leave me for some fancy French bitch then?” She did her best to play it off as a lighthearted joke, but even after all this time, there was a nagging sense of doubt somewhere inside her that worried one day Brooke would wake up and realize she could do better.

Brooke scoffed and shook her head. “As if anyone in this entire continent could hold a candle to you. I’m offended at the mere suggestion, Vanj.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ve just been missing you.”

“I miss you too, but you’ll be here before you know it, and you’ll have a shiny new degree to be proud of.”

She looked back at her half-decorated cap on the dresser. “Still kinda hard to believe.” On paper, it had looked like all the odds had been stacked against Vanessa from the get-go. No one ever truly believed that she had the intelligence and determination to earn a college degree. Hell, when she had finished her first year, people around her had been surprised.

Except for Brooke.

“No it’s not,” she replied without a moment’s hesitation. “You busted your ass from the moment I met you, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that tries as hard as you. You, my dear, are a force to be reckoned with.”

“Guess it’s hard to argue now that you got proof,” Vanessa conceded, “I just wish you was gonna be here for it.”

Brooke sighed sadly. “I do too, baby. But I promise, Nina’s going to be there livestreaming the whole thing to me.”

It wasn’t the same, but there was no point in belaboring the issue - it wasn’t going to change anything and they both would only feel worse. “You right, I know. Imma let you get to bed, talk to you tomorrow.”

“Alright, love you,” she blew a kiss at the screen.

“Love you too,” she smiled fondly and ended the call.

However, when Brooke Lynn closed her laptop, she didn’t leave it sitting on her desk. Instead, she packed it into its case and put it in with her luggage. She flopped down on her bed for a moment, she’s not an actress and lying to Vanessa was harder than any course she’d taken during her master’s program, especially seeing the sadness in her expression - it was physically painful, but she knew it would pay off.

The alarm went off on her phone moments later and she made her way to the front of the apartment building to wait for a taxi. “L'aéroport, s'il vous plaît,” her diction had improved, but her French was still remedial.

But she got there just fine and landed in JFK around midnight. She took the train back into Manhattan, then took a cab to Nina’s apartment. “Thanks for waiting up for me,” she whispered as she slipped inside and carefully closed the door behind her.

“No problem, but you definitely owe me,” Nina chuckled and grabbed her a bottle of water. “Now, tell me again why you’re waiting until her party to show up?”

Brooke took a swig from the bottle and set it down on the table. “Because the graduation ceremony is going to be too busy. Besides, the party is going to be all about her, it’ll be the perfect moment for, you know…”

Nina nodded in understanding. “She’s going to be so excited to see you. I can already hear it; ‘Brooke Lynn! You’re here!’” She imitated Vanessa’s distinct way of speaking, getting her friend to laugh and hopefully alleviating the nerves she knew were still lingering.

------

Vanessa ran to her family, one hand clutching her diploma and the other holding her cap steady on her head. “Y’all seeing this shit? I’m a fuckin’ graduate!” She beamed brightly as her family surrounded her with affection and praise, the reality that she had actually survived college - something even she didn’t anticipate for herself.

“Come on sweetheart, it’s time to celebrate,” her mother cooed, leading her into the car so they could relocate to the venue.

They had reserved a private party room at one of Vanessa’s favorite restaurants. It had already been decorated with balloons and congratulatory banners as family and friends began filing in.

“Aw, you guys! This is so nice of y’all,” Vanessa beamed as she looked around the room.

“Actually,” Nina started, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet with a giddy expression. “We have a little surprise for you.” She glanced over her shoulder, her smile brightening even more.

The room was silent, aside from some confused murmuring, until the sound of heels clacking against the hardwood floor got louder and louder until Brooke Lynn was standing in the doorway.

Vanessa’s eyes went wide and began to well with tears. “Brooke Lynn!”

“Hi, baby,” Brooke had barely gotten the phrase out before Vanessa launched herself at her. She caught her in a tight embrace, picking her up and spinning her around.

“I can’t believe you’re here! What about your show?”

She shrugged as she set her down. “The understudy agreed to do a couple shows so I could surprise my girlfriend,” she kissed her sweetly and ruffled her hair. “It’s so good to see you.”

Even after she was set down, Vanessa was still hugging her tight. “I’m so happy you’re here, oh my god,” she tilted her head up to blink away tears.

Brooke stroked her fingers through her hair, humming softly. Then she took a step back, swallowing thickly. “I… um… I actually have one more surprise for you.”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?”

She laughed awkwardly and shook her head. “No, this is just… something I’ve wanted to do since… honestly, since our first Thanksgiving together. I’ve been ready but… I finally think we’re ready,” she haphazardly rifled through her purse, her legs trembled as she got down on one knee.

The Mateo family had already erupted in excitement, scrambling for their phones and enthusiastically chattering in Spanish. Vanessa was the only quiet one, biting down on her knuckles as she was already starting to cry.

“Vanessa--”

“Yes!” “Let me finish!” Brooke giggled softly, then collected herself as quickly as she could, opening the box up. “Vanessa, I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, regardless of how stubborn I was about it in the beginning. But over these past four years, my love for you has only grown exponentially. And that’s why I want to ask you… will you marry me?” There was a beat of silence. “You can answer now.”

“Yes!” It was somewhere between a scream and a sob, Vanessa hardly knew what to do with herself, so she just threw her arms around Brooke and cried into the crook of her neck until she had pulled herself together enough to slide the ring onto her finger. “Damn, look at this rock!” She exclaimed to distract herself and everyone else from how much of a mess she was.

“This bitch really got a diploma and a wife on the same day,” A’keria remarked to Blair with a laugh. “But I’ll be damned if there ain’t anyone that deserves it more.”

As the newly-engaged couple embraced, the energy that surrounded them made it clear that everyone shared those sentiments. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa had been through a lot since the day they met in Katya’s dance class, but it was all worth it to lead up to this moment.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

WhatsApp? Part 3. (Steve Rogers x reader)

Description: You’ve never been lucky with guys. You just wanted to catch someone’s eye, to be loved. One day, that’s about to turn completely - with one fake, completely imagined number a guy gave you

A/N: let's face the FACTS - I'm going more with the “Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan” dynamic than with “Sam’s and Bucky’s” but let me just say... I enjoy it like hell.

Warnings: Bucky and Sam being actual children and Bucky calling Sam cloaca. (Find it online if you don't have any idea what that means. :D)

Tagging: @missdictatorme

Read other parts here: Part One  Part Two

You felt every inch of your fucking body just burn. Your nerves have been putting up the pressure in you from the moment he agreed with that stupid game Peter has adviced to you. (Peter liked it, he said it was enjoyable and that they, as a class, had a ton of fun answering those questions, so it wasn't THAT bad. But you felt like a teenager once again.)

You laid down to you pajamas with some popcorn you've made for this occasion, playing the movie in the background.

Steve: Text me when you're ready. I have arrived at home now.

That was an hour ago. And Steve had sleeping issues. You knew he wouldn't be sleeping, and even tho you felt bad to write to that polite man at 9 p.m.

---

Y/N: Okay, I'm ready. You have the first question to ask, Steve.

Steve swallowed and watched American football on the TV. His only concern was if she found out and if she did - did she freak out? Sam and Bucky were bouncing on the sofa next to him, fully occupied by the TV, caught up in the game. They were yelling; Sam was a fan of the team in the blue colors and even tho Buck was a fan of them as well, when he found out, he immediately swore on that he isn't an actual Jesus that he's more inclined to the other team just to piss Sam off.

That was long forgotten because their favorite team had scored and they yelled like two girls going through puberty.

Steve: So, my first question is... My deepest concern is, how do you feel about me?

It was a simple question. Only some words. Yet it felt like if the fire consumed him alive during waiting on the answer. He leaned his chin into his palm, his leg was jumping all around and his eyes were checking his phone every half of the second.

It was kinda hard trying to ignore maneuvers like these from that tall and huge guy, so it didn't stay unnoticed for a long time.

Sam looked at Steve with concern and the football started to fade away for a moment. His elbow nudged Bucky's hip as his head moved in Steve's direction.

"Fuck, look at him. I forgot that our boy has his big online dating thingy today." - Sam grinned hard. - "I feel like a proud mom, Bucky."

"Oh, lord!" - Bucky exclaimed with fake drama in his voice. Steve knew really well what is about to come; he wished really hard to take back when Natasha told Bucky the 'language story'. - " Watch your language! And that thing you've said about being the mom is totally right because I'm a bigger man than you in every way." - Bucky tried to help Steve because, at that point, Steve looked like a bottle of spilled ketchup. He was trying to make birdbrain argue with him.

"Hold your horses, cyborg. You may be bigger but Sammy can fly, can you fly?" - Sam shoved some chips into his mouth. - "Don't think so. That why I do better with chicks, at least more than you do."

"Listen up, cloaca. If you're trying to make me believe that your cheap sellout of Stark's suits you have in your closet is actually sexy in some way," - Bucky answered angrily. Steve was laughing at that point. Those arguments were maybe almost every day between Buck and Sam, but that was just the way their friendship worked. They couldn't communicate in normal human language. They specifically needed to argue.

"You are disgusting. You called me cloaca? Do you even know what it means?" - Sam exclaimed at that pictures in his head. Bucky looked fucking proud with himself, watching birdbrain with that shit-eating grin on his face. - "Jesus Christ, Ewwww, you're disgusting and that's why," - Steve stopped to listen at that exact moment because his phone finally vibrated with an answer.

Y/N: Hmmm... Tough one. I think you're a really polite and well-raised man. You're really nice and you overall feel like a good person.

That made Steve sigh with huge relief. She didn't know. Or at least she didn't shove it right into his face.

Y/N: Anyway, tell me more about yourself. My first question is: what do you like to wear at home?

That, for change, made Steve smile. That was such a sweet and innocent question full of pure wondering from Y/N. Smooth move.

"His expression is weird." - Sam mumbled to Bucky quietly. - "I think our boy has his first boob pic."

"How many times do I have to tell you that this isn't how Steve's acting with a lady? You do have a brain or a bird or what?" - Bucky whispered back unbelievably.

"Well, let me tell you," - Sam traced off the topic to explain that his brain is actually bigger because he isn't a frost neanderthal man like Bucky is.

Steve: I like to wear something comfortable. Some normal t-shirt and sweat pants I guess, when it's hot I tend to wear loose shorts. I am not at work so what would be the stress for?

Steve: Anyway. My second question is: what kind of restaurants do you like?

And this was something that made Steve grin. He thought he made a really smooth move. He was proud of himself. That was bold.

"Oh. He's getting the dating game pretty on. Just look at him. He didn't look this pleased with himself since he only half-burnt the turkey for Thanksgiving." - Sam jumped on the option to comment on Steve again. He didn't hesitate a single second if he had a way to collide with Steve's personal space. No matter how hard Bucky tried to keep Samuel Wilson occupied, he was really good at multitasking.

"That's it, fellas." - Steve stood up with a smile. Bucky knew that he's just enjoying himself and he was really happy for that man. But Sam didn't understand the meaning of privacy. - "I'll go to bed and I'll tell you how it all went in the morning."

“Come on, man! Wheres the fun in that?” - Sam exclaimed with a laugh when Steve got up for real and let them watch the football.

---

Steve: Anyway. My second question is: what kind of restaurants do you like?

You were taken away with that. So Steve could be smooth as well. He wasn't that smooth during those fourteen days, so you were a bit shocked by his smoothness. Also, you couldn't erase the tee and sweats image from your mind. He liked being comfy, to take a rest from his work. You liked that.

Y/N: That was smooth, Steve. Really. But my favorite kind of restaurants? I think a good plate of food is a great bonus when you actually like that place. I like simple, intimate, quiet restaurants if I have to be honest with you.

Y/N: Wirble, my third question is: What kind of women do you like?

You locked the screen of your phone, watching the movie you chose, not that it actually mattered now, with anxiety. Maybe it was too far - but you truly were curious about that. What if you two decided to see each other in person and suddenly you weren't his type? What then? 

You were anxious to know the answer. So you naturally freaked out when five minutes passed and Steve was still silent as a grave. You were sure that you took things too far. You had felt he maybe is a bit shy, but this was just bitchy move. You were just about to apologize for being too nosy when Steve answered your text.

Steve: Now THAT'S a difficult question. But I swore that I'll be honest with you so... I don't think it's about the looks exactly. It's maybe a nice bonus when a woman has full lips and beautiful eyes, but I'm attracted to women who have self-confidence and who can take care of themselves. I like to care for ladies, but there's nothing prettier than a girl who can look after herself. Another personality trait that I like their humor and intelligence... I could go on for hours. Let's say I don't care as much? When we click, we click. That's how I feel about that.

That complex answer told you that Steve truly is shy. He didn't know how to answer properly and easily. It felt like he doesn't really know what type is his type. He only made it worse for himself. You got a feeling that Steve actually doesn't know what kind of women does he like. Was he really that innocent? It felt like if Steve never actually tried to... Date someone.

You laughed at your dumbness. Of course, Steve dated someone. With his manners? Which girl would not want a guy with manners? And you didn't even know about his astonishing good looks at that moment.

Steve: Okay. My fourth question is... What do you look like? Sorry if it's too personal. I just kind of wish to know what to imagine.

You were fucking surprised. He went just fully in. You two were truly getting to know each other better than before. You were sure that after that evening, you will not be able to get back into those formal texts again. From strangers, you slowly began to build a friendship. It was a normal question.

Y/N: I am a normal girl, nothing too extraordinary. I have Y/C hair and Y/C eyes and my friends say that I am kinda cute and pretty, especially in glasses. I like to wear something comfortable, but I like to get pretty for occasions. Jeans and v-neck shirt probably suit me the best.

Y/N: Let me continue with a question... What do you do for a living?

You were watching your phone nervously, frowning a bit and biting your lip down. You were curious about that question because Deena always said that occupation can say a lot about a person. But you didn't expect what Steve said to you.

Steve: That's... Quite complicated to explain, Y/N. Trust me, I would love to tell you, but let's just keep this a secret, alright? I swear I will tell you one day.

You were confused as hell. What for the fuck's sake was his occupation? Was he some kind of a celebrity bodyguard? Your mind cut through a million of horrifying scenarios within one minute. Was he a part of some mafia? Or was he a killer for a living? What the hell? 

Steve: But it's my turn to ask. What do you do for a living and do you have any hobbies?

--- 

Steve legitimately panicked the minute you asked him. You surely didn't know who he was. Because if you knew, you would drop a hint, small clue at least. A clue that you knew. But you just casually asked what was his occupation. He knew that if he had met you outside the virtual life and you would ask about his life, he would choke out some words, muttering them quietly. He would not be able to say a meaningful sentence. 

He had your image, or at least its essence, in his mind. You must've looked like a really nice woman. And he was curious about the contours of your face, especially with your glasses on. He was... Eager to know more about you, those formal texts were long forgotten now. And kind. Your answer supported that immediately.

Y/N: I work as a social worker for a charity in Queens. We do a lot of different things, helping and supporting homeless people with some clothes and food, we're arranging some occasions for orphanages and we do some events for handicapped people... There's a lot of ways to make the world better. We'll have an arrangement at the Annual Charity Event hosted by Stark Industries, you know, trying to raise some funds. We're training our dancing choreography now. And for my hobbies, I am a simple girl. You know... Hanging out with friends, sometimes reading, I tried to play the guitar, I am an occasional photographer, trust me, I've tried everything... I am a normal girl, as I said.

He literally melted because of a partially strange girl at the exact moment he read your text. You weren't completely strange to Steve at that moment, but you weren't exactly friends at that point either. But the way you spoke about your occupation? Making the world around you better? Trying to work hard for the society? You definitely earned a big heartwarming smile from that super-serum giant.

Y/N: Okay, one last question, Steve. I will repeat one of yours - give me some image of you. I want to know how you appear like a man and some of your personal traits. I just know you're most likely in some sweat pants and a t-shirt, which is not much. :)

You. Were. Nailing. Steve. Rogers. So. Much.

Your text was clearly meant to be ended with a joke which earned you a soft giggle (G I G G L E) from that old man. It was curious yet it had boundaries of formality, not attacking his personal space. You knew how to move him in the best imaginable way. This was way better than that formal texting you two went through for the last couple of weeks. He found it... Somehow charming. And to say amusing was a huge misleading word.

He was having fun.

Steve: Alright, alright. I think I'm not able to wiggle out of this one. :)

Steve: What do I look like? It's kind of hard to describe yourself. I am definitely very tall, taller than most of my friends. I gained a pretty big body over time (The sweet and gentle, definitely shy man didn't find better words to describe what super-serum had done to his body). I have blue eyes, I'm blonde and my hair is too long now. One of my friends, Nat, told me that I am really handsome when I don't know about that. I am not convinced that it is true.

Steve: For my hobbies... I do a lot of things. A LOT. I am not much of a sleeper, so I read during the nights, I watch movies with my fellas; one of them always chooses. I love learning about modern culture and technologies, but the '40s with WWII are really something to me. It definitely is a 'guilty pleasure' to me. And I love morning jogs and to have a good work out. :)

Steve definitely outdid himself with this one. He was legit proud of himself for writing such a long text with some actual meaning. And he even dropped the hint about who he was. He almost patted his own shoulder.

Sadly, it was almost ten p.m., so he knew he would soon have to say goodbye to you. He didn't want to stop at that point.

Steve: But to change the topic, because I definitely don't like being in the spotlight, what did you stop with nicknames? They were somehow fun. ;)

---

And to be honest, Steve himself was nailing you as well. You just laid there, your eyes firmly closed, imagining the man on the other side. You bit your lip and smiled. You believed him - he was sincere and honest with you all this time. Why wouldn't he be now?

Your imagination did a hell of a job. You couldn't but imagine a really, REALLY handsome man having a well-built and ripped body. You almost hugged your phone at this image. You were out of your fucking mind when he asked about nicknames.

Y/N: Well, I didn't want you to find me creepy. A strange girl calling you nicknames? The strangest thing ever. Even tho I think a lot of women must call you handsome, am I right?

Steve: I highly doubt that. Never had exactly the change to go and find out. ;)

A new emoji used twice! Wow. You felt like playing a video game and unlocking an achievement. This was more personal than formal and you loved it.

Y/N: Aaaand... I think you're lying now. You must be so popular with what you've said to me. Good lord. That was an evening, I tell you.

Y/N: I need to go to sleep, Steve. Goodnight and sleep tight, handsome.

Steve: I'm looking forward to text with you tomorrow. ;)

And with that, you fell asleep, smiling to yourself. He was an angel. He had to be one.

[artificialqueens]

How Wonderful Life Is (While You're in the World) Branjie - Joley

ao3 link

“I thought you’d be a little more excited by now,” A’keria observed. “You only graduate college once.”

Vanessa shrugged, setting the glue stick down. They’d been spending the day decorating their caps, but her heart just wasn’t in it. And that was because her heart was doing ballet in France. “I just miss her.”

“Come on, this was supposed to be a fun distraction,” Blair gently chimed in, resting her hand on her shoulder. “Brooke would want you to enjoy yourself, right?”

“Fuck, you make it sound like she’s dead,” she groaned and rest her head against the table. “How am I supposed to do this shit for another two months?” They were only two weeks into the ten-week engagement, and she already decided she couldn’t handle it.

A’keria pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, you just a drama queen. Aren’t you visiting her next month anyway? Bitching and moaning like you ain’t about to go to fucking France.”

Vanessa pushed herself up off the table, only to slump into her chair. “Y’all just don’t get it. We haven’t spent more than a few weeks apart in four years. I got separation anxiety!” Her cheeks flushed red, she was still embarrassed - she was self aware enough to know she was being childish and maybe a bit self-centered, but she couldn’t help herself; next to her mom, Brooke Lynn was the most important person in her life.

Blair nodded sympathetically. “Aw, honey, we understand. Why don’t we pick this up tomorrow? You should go give her a call before it gets too late over there. Go ahead, we’ll clean up here.”

A’keria arched her brow. “We will?”

“Yes,” she glared

Vanessa wasn’t paying attention to the bickering going on between her friends. Once Blair had given her the go-ahead to leave, she was gathering her things and heading right out the door. She glanced at her phone on the way out - it was about ten at night in Brooke’s side of the world, if she remembered correctly.

And lucky for her, Brooke Lynn was still awake and willing to Skype by the time she returned to their apartment.

“You’ve got glitter all over your face,” Brooke observed with a soft chuckle. “What sort of fun have you been getting up to over there?”

“None, I promise,” she retorted flatly. “We was decorating our caps but I just wasn’t feeling it. It’s kinda tacky at this point anyway,” she added, pulling dried glue off of her fingertips and flicking it away.

She pouted sympathetically. “Poor baby,” she cooed. “I think you should decorate it, though. It’s not like you to ever blend in.”

A slight smile twitched at the corners of her lips. “Yeah, maybe,” she shrugged. “How’s shit over there?”

“I mean, it’s hard to complain about this place,” she admitted with a soft laugh. “The only thing it’s missing is my beautiful girlfriend,” she cooed, batting her lashes.

Vanessa chuckled softly, looking down and pushing her hair off of her shoulders. “So, you ain’t gonna leave me for some fancy French bitch then?” She did her best to play it off as a lighthearted joke, but even after all this time, there was a nagging sense of doubt somewhere inside her that worried one day Brooke would wake up and realize she could do better.

Brooke scoffed and shook her head. “As if anyone in this entire continent could hold a candle to you. I’m offended at the mere suggestion, Vanj.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ve just been missing you.”

“I miss you too, but you’ll be here before you know it, and you’ll have a shiny new degree to be proud of.”

She looked back at her half-decorated cap on the dresser. “Still kinda hard to believe.” On paper, it had looked like all the odds had been stacked against Vanessa from the get-go. No one ever truly believed that she had the intelligence and determination to earn a college degree. Hell, when she had finished her first year, people around her had been surprised.

Except for Brooke.

“No it’s not,” she replied without a moment’s hesitation. “You busted your ass from the moment I met you, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that tries as hard as you. You, my dear, are a force to be reckoned with.”

“Guess it’s hard to argue now that you got proof,” Vanessa conceded, “I just wish you was gonna be here for it.”

Brooke sighed sadly. “I do too, baby. But I promise, Nina’s going to be there livestreaming the whole thing to me.”

It wasn’t the same, but there was no point in belaboring the issue - it wasn’t going to change anything and they both would only feel worse. “You right, I know. Imma let you get to bed, talk to you tomorrow.”

“Alright, love you,” she blew a kiss at the screen.

“Love you too,” she smiled fondly and ended the call.

However, when Brooke Lynn closed her laptop, she didn’t leave it sitting on her desk. Instead, she packed it into its case and put it in with her luggage. She flopped down on her bed for a moment, she’s not an actress and lying to Vanessa was harder than any course she’d taken during her master’s program, especially seeing the sadness in her expression - it was physically painful, but she knew it would pay off.

The alarm went off on her phone moments later and she made her way to the front of the apartment building to wait for a taxi. “L'aéroport, s'il vous plaît,” her diction had improved, but her French was still remedial.

But she got there just fine and landed in JFK around midnight. She took the train back into Manhattan, then took a cab to Nina’s apartment. “Thanks for waiting up for me,” she whispered as she slipped inside and carefully closed the door behind her.

“No problem, but you definitely owe me,” Nina chuckled and grabbed her a bottle of water. “Now, tell me again why you’re waiting until her party to show up?”

Brooke took a swig from the bottle and set it down on the table. “Because the graduation ceremony is going to be too busy. Besides, the party is going to be all about her, it’ll be the perfect moment for, you know…”

Nina nodded in understanding. “She’s going to be so excited to see you. I can already hear it; ‘Brooke Lynn! You’re here!’” She imitated Vanessa’s distinct way of speaking, getting her friend to laugh and hopefully alleviating the nerves she knew were still lingering.

——

Vanessa ran to her family, one hand clutching her diploma and the other holding her cap steady on her head. “Y’all seeing this shit? I’m a fuckin’ graduate!” She beamed brightly as her family surrounded her with affection and praise, the reality that she had actually survived college - something even she didn’t anticipate for herself.

“Come on sweetheart, it’s time to celebrate,” her mother cooed, leading her into the car so they could relocate to the venue.

They had reserved a private party room at one of Vanessa’s favorite restaurants. It had already been decorated with balloons and congratulatory banners as family and friends began filing in.

“Aw, you guys! This is so nice of y’all,” Vanessa beamed as she looked around the room.

“Actually,” Nina started, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet with a giddy expression. “We have a little surprise for you.” She glanced over her shoulder, her smile brightening even more.

The room was silent, aside from some confused murmuring, until the sound of heels clacking against the hardwood floor got louder and louder until Brooke Lynn was standing in the doorway.

Vanessa’s eyes went wide and began to well with tears. “Brooke Lynn!”

“Hi, baby,” Brooke had barely gotten the phrase out before Vanessa launched herself at her. She caught her in a tight embrace, picking her up and spinning her around.

“I can’t believe you’re here! What about your show?”

She shrugged as she set her down. “The understudy agreed to do a couple shows so I could surprise my girlfriend,” she kissed her sweetly and ruffled her hair. “It’s so good to see you.”

Even after she was set down, Vanessa was still hugging her tight. “I’m so happy you’re here, oh my god,” she tilted her head up to blink away tears.

Brooke stroked her fingers through her hair, humming softly. Then she took a step back, swallowing thickly. “I… um… I actually have one more surprise for you.”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?”

She laughed awkwardly and shook her head. “No, this is just… something I’ve wanted to do since… honestly, since our first Thanksgiving together. I’ve been ready but… I finally think we’re ready,” she haphazardly rifled through her purse, her legs trembled as she got down on one knee.

The Mateo family had already erupted in excitement, scrambling for their phones and enthusiastically chattering in Spanish. Vanessa was the only quiet one, biting down on her knuckles as she was already starting to cry.

“Vanessa–”

“Yes!”

“Let me finish!” Brooke giggled softly, then collected herself as quickly as she could, opening the box up. “Vanessa, I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, regardless of how stubborn I was about it in the beginning. But over these past four years, my love for you has only grown exponentially. And that’s why I want to ask you… will you marry me?” There was a beat of silence. “You can answer now.”

“Yes!” It was somewhere between a scream and a sob, Vanessa hardly knew what to do with herself, so she just threw her arms around Brooke and cried into the crook of her neck until she had pulled herself together enough to slide the ring onto her finger. “Damn, look at this rock!” She exclaimed to distract herself and everyone else from how much of a mess she was.

“This bitch really got a diploma and a wife on the same day,” A’keria remarked to Blair with a laugh. “But I’ll be damned if there ain’t anyone that deserves it more.”

As the newly-engaged couple embraced, the energy that surrounded them made it clear that everyone shared those sentiments. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa had been through a lot since the day they met in Katya’s dance class, but it was all worth it to lead up to this moment.