#and it was just too much. like all i want is for people to criticize jkr for legitimate reasons instead of smearing her name

[megamindsecretlair]

Make Me Weak, Part 2

Pairing: Sex Therapist!Terry Richmond x Sub!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Cursing, mentions of depression, anxiety, and description of sex acts and sexual issues. Hair pulling, PIV, condom use. Power imbalance, Shy!reader. Dark!Terry. Dom!Terry, AU Terry, all consensual. Sorry if I missed some. I'm not a therapist and while I do not make light of therapy, this is purely for my own fun. Please seek real medical attention when necessary.

Summary: You followed Dr. Richmond’s instructions to the best of your ability. You spent so much time in your mind that willingly descending into your body was an experience that opened your eyes to how much you had neglected. Your second session forces you to confront more truths than what you were ready for. 

Terry reaches some conclusions of his own as he tries to shake whatever is ailing him by disappearing between Tasia’s thighs. Yet his mind is on you, on your thoughts and words. During the second session, he can’t help but push you beyond your limit.

Word Count: 5,018k

Part 1 | AO3 Link

A/N: I'n back babbyyyy. I got so inspired reading so many lovely fics. Plus the encouraging asks really helped. I had TOO much fun writing this and you will not hurt my feelings if you don't want to read this one. However, I must tag to keep my taglist updated. Forgive me, my loves. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, gif, or unhinged ask.

You

Hot steam rolled out from the shower as you set it to your desired temperature. You faced yourself in the mirror, thinking over Dr. Richmond’s words. You supposed that there was some truth to what he had told you.

Most people did start by exploring their own bodies first. It must be so easy for guys. Close the door, grab some lotion, and rub one out. Girls on the other hand…your life was constantly spent in a state of panic.

Panic that anything on your person would make your mother snap. Harsh criticisms hidden behind “just talkin’ shit” that Black people liked to hide behind. You were too sensitive to jokey-joke with when you weren’t able to reciprocate. It’s not like you could talk about your mom. It’s not like you could throw insults back in her face and tell her to take it in stride.

Panic that you could be caught or exposed at any point. You were a grown woman, yes. You were also taught to believe that you needed to act as if someone was watching. You believed there was some kind of life after all this and so wouldn’t it stand to reason that someone or something would be looking at you? Or worse, someone would come flying through your door because your family lacked boundaries? 

Panic that you didn’t know what lay on the other side of an orgasm. How would you feel? How would you look? Surely something like that changed a person. Feeling that rush of relief for the first time had to be special. Had to be amazing. Otherwise, why would anyone ever be obsessed with sex? 

Panic that you’d never reach that peak and fall over. Never feel that rush of euphoria that everyone talked about. Porn, books, friend groups. You always felt left out and you didn’t want to anymore, dammit. 

You watched yourself in the mirror as steam overtook it, inch by inch. Until you were only staring at your eyes and the disbelief written all over your face. Would this even work? Were you wasting your time? 

“I need total, focused commitment from you.”

Dr. Richmond’s sultry voice skittered along your naked skin. Goosebumps raised on your flesh from the cold air moving through the house. You would be focused. You would be committed. This was something you wanted so badly, you were fucking desperate. 

So you took deep, measured breaths using the Box method a previous therapist told you about. You inhaled for a count of four, held for four, exhaled for a count of four, and then held it for four. You repeated the process, doing a full body scan. 

You focused on your head, starting with your scalp. You focused on your forehead, feeling the tension melt away and your eyebrows start to relax. You hadn’t even realized that you had it scrunched.

You brought your attention to your eyes, unfocusing them, and allowed them to close. You repeated the process, breathing the entire time, settling down into your body when your mind wanted so badly to escape. To flee. To leave the Horrors. 

When you felt your mind drift, you didn’t chastise yourself. You continued to breathe, focusing on your breaths until you continued with your scan. Your body relaxed fraction by fraction. Your shoulders lowered from up around your neck. Aches and pains became more prominent. 

Your belly expanded and you sighed. You hadn’t even noticed how often you clenched your stomach, never allowing yourself a full breath. You always had to be on edge. Never knew where the next danger was coming from. What new fresh hell you would encounter just around the corner. 

By the time you reached your feet, you felt more relaxed than you had in a long time. Your body prickled with your newfound awareness. Steam caressed your bareskin and you quickly hopped in the shower, letting the warm water cascade across your body.

The water felt different on your body. Each droplet may as well have been a tiny earthquake, popping all over your skin and making you tingle. This…wasn’t too bad. 

You lathered up your facial scrub and gently moisturized your face, soothing the stiff areas. Your jaw popped as it loosened and you moaned from the relief. 

How long? How long have you spent outside of your body? A stranger to it? A foreigner to this vessel you carried around? Had you truly loved your body when you were so alien to it? Or had you just learned to layer on the armor and pretend? 

God, you felt like crying. With one session, Dr. Richmond already had you re-thinking your entire life. Like the answer was there in your face the entire time and you just needed him to shine a light on it. 

You rinsed your face while you grabbed a washcloth and lathered up with your favorite soap. You added body wash and then took your time trailing the washcloth around your body. Starting with your neck, you worked your way down to your chest. 

You took your time feeling the rough cloth against your smooth, watery skin. You rounded the washcloth across your nipples and they beaded under the slow torture. Oh, this was new. This was very nice. 

You were focused, letting the water act as a sound machine, lulling you into a further relaxed state. You followed the washcloth with your hand, moving over and under your areolas and nipples. You pinched your nipples and gave it a tug. You gasped from the responding tug in your pussy.

You moved on, remembering Dr. Richmond’s words about not making it sexual. But fuck, how could you not? 

Heat flushed beneath your skin that had nothing to do with the hot water on your body. You washed your back and then moved lower, skirting your throbbing pussy and washed your legs and dug the cloth between your toes. 

On the way up, your fingers glided around your mound, your hips pushing forward. Your breathing turned rapid, feeling yourself getting more and more excited. Your brain turned to mush, retreating from your actions. Like it wanted to picture something else. You shook your head, and started up with your Box breathing again.

You stopped mid-shower to reorient yourself and get yourself back into that zone of ultimate calm. If Dr. Richmond were there…

You focused on what he might say. There was no rush. There was no rulebook for this sort of thing. There was no reason to chastise yourself. There was no test to pass or box you had to check in order to achieve an orgasm. You just needed to relax, dammit. 

Slowly, achingly slow, you went back to that calm. You continued lathering up your body and then rinsed the soap off. You repeated the process, adding more soap to thoroughly wash your body. To enjoy the feel of the cloth and water and soap on your skin. On your body. 

“This is the only body you’ll ever have so it’s time to think beyond simple body maintenance. Admire your body.”

This was the only body you would ever have. It was time you stopped treating it like the enemy. 

You turned off the water and then got out. The chill air hit the water on your back and you shrieked and shivered, quickly drying off. You went through your nightly routine, taking care of your teeth, face, and deodorant. You sat down on a decorated stool in your bathroom to apply your lotion.

As instructed, you looked at your body. Every mole, every scar, every bump, and every wayward hair. Being in your body was weird to say the least. You had to disassociate to survive your childhood and you never learned to drop those defenses. Your body never realized that it wasn't at war anymore. Or perhaps it was and this was battle fatigue. You were so damn tired.

You massaged the lotion into your skin and then slipped in your panties. You pulled on an ankle bracelet you got while visiting New York once and it made you feel extra pretty, so why not. You turned on your bedside light and pulled out a notebook.

You started a new entry and wrote about the sensations and revelations you experienced. Some of it you would discuss with Dr. Richmond and some of it was never leaving your grave. It felt good to get it all out, uninterrupted.

Sometimes, venting to someone else just gave them room to talk over you. To steer the direction back to them. Brooklyn was like that. In an effort to relate, she ended up taking over the convo and made it about her situation. Then you ended up comforting her about her issue and never feeling truly heard about yours.

In a journal however, you pretended that you were just relaying it to a friend. The type of friend who allowed you to speak. To get your jumbled thoughts out without getting mad or trying overshadow you. 

Done, you collapsed against your bed as if every ounce of strength left your body. You breathed through it, allowed your body to rest for a moment. The hell kind of voo-doo shit did your therapist put you through?

Immediately, warning bells went off in your mind. Surely, you would be whisked away to some super important task around the house. Surely, your phone would ring with some awful accident you had to attend to. Surely…nothing. You were drained. You had nothing. 

You had just enough energy to put the journal up, turn off the light, and drift off to the deepest sleep of your life.

Terry

Tasia bounced like a porn star on Terry’s dick and it wasn’t doing a damn thing for him. He felt himself getting soft the more Tasia shuddered with her pleasure. At least one of them was having fun. 

Maybe he rushed this. Too intent on getting you out of his mind that he hopped immediately into Tasia’s warm heat and didn’t consider that there was no substitution. He knew it was irrational to be drawn to you so fast. After only one session. He was conflicted on that front, but it went beyond just looks. 

Your case, your assessments, your willingness to try, and your obvious smarts was a cocktail shooting through his veins and turning his body liquid. The perfect sub was dropped into his lap and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

And as a man used to getting his way in the bedroom, it stuck in his craw that he couldn’t have you. That it wasn’t your pussy that his dick disappeared inside of. Would you moan loudly? Were you shy in the bedroom? Were you enthusiastic? 

What would your mouth look like taking the full length of him? How far down could you suck him? Did that same determination translate to the bedroom?

Tasia grunted beneath him as his dick rose back to life, thoughts of you turning him harder than a brick. He could build a house with how hard he was at the moment, picturing the curves on your body. The natural handles in your waist for his big hands to wrap around. To hold.

He moaned, picturing it all so clearly. His thumbs would dig into your back. The sounds you would make. His hips jerked just thinking of pounding into you. No mercy. You weren’t some fragile flower. Your insightful thoughts were like a mirror to his own. He wanted to explore with you. And the fact that he couldn’t had him pulling Tasia’s hair back.

“Call me Dr. Richmond,” he commanded.

“Yes, D-Dr. Richmond,” Tasia moaned. It was starting to piss him off. 

“Softer,” he said.

“Yes, Dr. Richmond,” she said, bringing her voice lower, softer. It was nowhere near your voice, but it’d do for the fantasy he concocted in his head. He didn’t have time for any extra tricks tonight. He just needed to get to the other side of his nut. 

He closed his eyes and thought about your case. He wondered if you were doing as you were told. He wondered how well you would take commands in the bedroom. If he even had to give commands at all. If you’d instinctively know what he needed when he needed it. Tasia used to know that. Tasia used to have him out of breath. 

Now…she was a beautiful girl with deep mocha skin, a cute face, and wide expressive eyes. She was like a little doe in a meadow somewhere. He was attracted to the overall softness of her and of her body. The natural way she seemed to know what he needed. 

Perhaps it was him that had changed. His tastes. He was no longer interested in a casual sub-relationship. Perhaps he wanted a more permanent sub. One he could explore every single nasty fantasy with and never get bored. He was getting older, getting into his early-thirties without a significant partner.

And that was what he wanted. A partner. An equal. Someone he raced home to see or spent his days thinking about how he would break her and put her back together like a puzzle box. 

Terry groaned and came into the condom, gripping Tasia’s asscheeks for dear life. It was one of the hardest climaxes he ever experienced. His release triggered hers, causing her to fall forward as her pussy gripped his dick. 

He pulled out and immediately disposed of the condom, coming back to help clean up Tasia. 

“That was…different,” she said, using the word in place of something else. He didn’t want his reputation to slacken in that regard, but hell, this whole thing had been a mistake. He still made sure she came twice before he did, but he usually put more oomph into his sexual exploits. 

He usually had Tasia popping her pussy on his face, or contorting her like a pretzel. Now…he was just over it. Over trying to impress someone that wasn’t permanent in his life. That he couldn’t play with whenever he wanted. He was no longer excited at the prospect of making many women cum. He just wanted to make one cum over and over again. He wanted to collect each one like trophies. 

Terry grabbed Tasia’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Forgive me. Tonight should’ve probably been a gym night,” he said. He smiled for good measure, but it was a close-lipped smile.

“Oh, I’m not complaining. That dick still know how to rock my world,” she said. She stood up, pulling on her sweats and sweatshirt, and slipping on her sneakers. He sat down on the bed and watched her, not feeling an ounce of desire. 

She leaned over and grabbed his chin, making him look up at her. “You take care of yourself and whatever or whoever got you in this funk. And if you need more relief, you know my number,” she said.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with another close-lipped smile. Tasia had been one of his longest play partners, he’d be sorry to see her go. She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, showing herself out. 

Terry sat in his fancy bedroom in his fancy house, staring at the empty archway Tasia disappeared through. His mind and body told him that he was ready for something more. Something tangible. Something he could hold and never let go. He only hoped he found it soon.

You

You clutched your journal to your chest as you sat in Dr. Richmond’s office. Nothing about it had changed except the man himself. He chose to wear a cream colored outfit. A soft, oatmeal colored sweater and khaki pants with white sneakers. His gold rimmed glasses flashed every so often from the light overhead and you couldn’t help catching every single thing about him. If only to distract you from your racing thoughts.

It was one thing to live in your body when you were in the comfort of your own bathroom. Your mind escaped once more, retreated to the safest place you knew. Your knee bounced with nervousness. 

“You don’t have to share if you don’t want to. This is a safe space. It’s your space. You get to decide what we do here,” he said. 

You closed your eyes to the sound of his voice. If he wasn’t so damn helpful, you’d ask for someone else. Literally, anyone else. But he was the first therapist to give you a glimpse of the other side. You wanted that more than you were embarrassed.

“No, I want to share. I need to share,” you said. You licked your lips and then cracked open your journal. You skimmed over things you didn’t want to reveal just yet. Too embarrassing for a second meeting, of course.

“I think…I think my mind is safer. I am constantly on alert that I’m “doing the right thing”, as opposed to what actually makes me happy,” you said. 

When you didn’t say anything, Terry leaned back in his seat. He rolled up his sleeves, revealing the golden brown of his forearms. Your mind emptied of any other thought until he cleared his throat. “Can you expand on that?” 

You looked up into his eyes before heat rushed to your ears. You looked back at your journal, focusing on that rather than his lush, pink lips. 

You told him more about how you reached this conclusion. That there was a standard for being Black that you never quite achieved. That at any moment, multiple mobs of people were coming for your Black card. Or, you were constantly trying to over-achieve at school. You had to work twice as hard, had to be the smartest in the class, because if you came home with a B, your mom went on a long rant about being stupid and never achieving anything real in life. Or how everyone praised you at work for going above and beyond and then got mad when you couldn’t sustain it. You were constantly on the lookout for someone else’s standard.

“I have so many fucking voices in my ear, telling me to do this or do that. And I fucking hate it. Which is wild considering that that’s what I seek in a sexual partner,” you said.

Dr. Richmond smiled and nodded. “Your mind is trying to re-contextualize your upbringing. Being submissive is actually about putting yourself in the position of power. A dom is only as good as how well he treats his sub. It’s about the ultimate act of trust on the submissive’s part,” he explained.

“Yes! And how can I trust that someone isn’t going to…take what I say or want and abuse that or make fun of me for it?” You asked. You played with the corner of your journal, not willing to look at Dr. Richmond. You didn’t need to see the pathetic pity in his steel blue eyes. 

“You have to stand resolute in what you want. You have to recognize that pleasure and sex is about give and take. Trust and acceptance. The right partner isn’t going to make fun of you, abuse you, or rush you,” he said. 

You sighed and leaned back on the brown sofa. You felt like you were chasing a unicorn. What kind of guy was willing to be dominant and care about your needs? Reassure you when you needed and took control when your body sent massive panicked waves at him? Took care of the trust you were placing in him to help you relax and cum? While also being physically attractive to you and have you be attracted to him; not a chubby chaser, not a creep, and not an abuser? 

It was impossible. Hopeless.  

“If you’re comfortable, tell me more about what you found,” he said.

You took your mind off of your dream mystery man. When the fuck was it going to be your turn? 

You scanned your journal once more, noting the sensations about actually living inside your body. “I think when I feel an orgasm approaching, I get scared. And that could be part of why I’m blocking it, but even when I’m alone, I don’t know what it feels like. Or…”

“Or…?” Dr. Richmond prompted. 

You grimaced. Fuck, this was so hard to put into words. Too hard to expose yourself like this. But did you want to reach your sixties, seventies, never having a true orgasm? Never finding your way to actual release? 

“Or, there’s no way to control the orgasm,” you said.

Dr. Richmond nodded. “The goal isn’t to control it, you know,” he said. 

“I know!” You groaned and stood up. You thought better on your feet. Or maybe when you had something to do, you were better able to regulate the jumble of emotions inside of you. No wonder your emotions were all over the place. You spent too long disassociating, too long in your mind and not enough in your body. 

“What benefit do you get from being in control all the time?” The scratch of his pen on the notebook drew your attention to him. To his pretty face, dark eyelashes, and push lips. You watched as he wrote in his notebook. Watched the lines and planes of his gorgeous face. His short curled afro. 

“If I’m in control, if I never look weak or stupid or incompetent, then I win. I win at life. And all my bullies, from school to home are all wrong. There’s nothing wrong with me because I know what to do. I know what to say. I’m not an alien,” you said, taking a deep breath at the revelation.

Whatever your insurance company was paying him, they needed to double it. You admitted things you never had in the past. Your previous therapists attacked your problem sex first, focusing on different methods you could try. Some wanted you to describe, in detail, whatever you did to get yourself off. Safe to say they weren’t practicing ever again. 

“Do you believe there’s something wrong with you?” He asked. He leaned back in his seat, giving you an unflinching stare. His face gave away nothing, revealed nothing, as you thought through his question. 

“All the fucking time. Why else do friends keep leaving me? Or guys don’t want me? Or my mom is…my mom,” you said. 

“Have you considered that you aren’t the problem?” He asked.

“How could I not be? I’m the only common denominator,” you said. You flopped back onto the couch but it wasn’t that soft. It thudded under your weight and you took a deep breath. Fuck, you wanted to cry. Tears pricked your eyes, turning them hot and itchy. You refused to cry in front of this man. 

This strange, quiet man who seemed to read you like one of the many books on his bookshelf. No wonder he had so many degrees. He could drag a full confession from a mute. 

“That may be true. But, bear with me, consider that you aren’t the problem. If you take yourself out of the equation, what are you left with?” He asked. He leaned forward on his desk and the sudden intensity of the question made your mind blank.

You had…nothing. No explanation, no back up. You were used to making yourself the problem. The issue had to be you. If it wasn’t you…

You shrugged your shoulders and looked away from him. The silence stretched on, so quiet you could hear the quiet tick of the clock on the wall. 

“Don’t shy away now, dig into it. If it’s not you, then…?” Dr. Richmond prompted. 

The question only seemed to make you clamp up. Your tongue swelled. Your throat constricted. If it wasn’t you, then what? Everyone was incapable of giving you what you wanted? Everyone just had an agenda against you? Please, that was narcissistic as hell. 

Dr. Richmond stood up from his desk and took off his glasses. He pulled out a drawer and retrieved a glass cleaner cloth. He cleaned his glasses and walked around the front of his desk.

“Consider, for a moment, that other people have deficiencies as well. That people congregate in groups because biologically, it’s safer. We seek groups to be in and when we can’t find one, we tend to think that we’re the problem. That we are outcasts, getting left out to defend ourselves. But all that means is that we haven’t found our group yet. You’re trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. You don’t belong with the squares, so no, you won’t fit in with them. 

“The same goes for sex. Everybody has their preferences. People have their kinks, their needs. When those needs aren’t meant, society teaches us to look at our own deficiencies rather than someone else’s. Perhaps the man you need sexually is far different from the men you take to bed,” he said. He waved around his glasses as he spoke, drawing attention to his massive hands. 

Seriously, they were huge. Like two lion paws that could strike down someone with one hit. He held his glasses by the frame, waving it around delicately as he spoke. You were still paying attention to his words, but fuck…he was unreal. 

“But how do I find the man that I need sexually?” You asked.

Terry

Terry inwardly groaned as you asked him that. Plenty of suggestions came to mind, each too crass to suggest. How could he tell you to go into another man’s arms? How could he send you to another man to unleash that hidden hellcat within you and he wouldn’t get to experience it? 

He needed to end this. End this before it even began. He placed his glasses back on his face and crossed a line that he never thought he would. “I think we have more work to do to adjust the way you think about sex before we get into how you attract what you’re seeking. In fact, I’d suggest you abstain from sex until we get deeper into this,” he said.

“Abstain?” You snorted and he fought a smile. Your face showed absolute disgust, like the mere thought was abhorrent. 

“Abstain. From what you’ve told me and what’s in your file, you jumped from overcoming your initial thoughts and reluctance about sex right to jumping into bed. Without really, truly exploring yourself first. Kids explore their bodies all the time right? They grow conscious of themselves and start thinking about hey, my equipment is different from someone else’s equipment,” he said.

You couldn’t help but giggle and it caused him to smirk in return. Yes, it was silly. Talking about sex was silly. But it was true. “And as you start to notice people that you’re attracted to, you start to grow conscious of hormones in your system. Brain chemistry. All the fun stuff that goes into attraction. You start to touch yourself more, explore your preferences through porn or books or experimentation.”

You cringed when he brought up experimentation. He tilted his head. “Did you go through an experimentation phase?” He asked.

You closed your eyes and sighed as if it were the last question you wanted to answer. You completely fascinated him. He had no idea what would come out of your mouth next. How you would respond to certain questions or ideas. 

He snuck a glance at the clock, he was nearing the end of the session. He flexed his jaw. This was so damn irritating. By the time you were willing to open up, it was time to end it. He wished he could carve out a month of sessions to get you to lower your defenses and let him inside. 

“No? I grew up in the wrong generation. All everyone thought about was sex and while I did too, no one was checking for the fat Black nerds unless it was a prank. And I saw everything as a prank. I was always getting pointed at, made fun of, stared at. Jesus, being exposed fucking sucks! So, no, I didn’t experiment. There was no one to fucking experiment with. 

“And it wasn’t like I could go ten feet from my mom without her up my ass about where I was going. Claiming she just didn’t want me to get snatched when all she really wanted was just to control me. To not let me end up like her. Young and pregnant,” you practically yelled, spewing way more vitriol than he expected.

He figured it was a sore spot for you by the way you grimaced, but he hadn’t been expecting…that. Again, he balled his fists thinking of every person that ever let you down. Every person that was supposed to uplift you, guide you, help you, all dropped the ball in teaching you about self love.

Every experience every kid was supposed to have was denied to you. Instead of being asked out with interest, with sincerity, boys treated it like a prank. He was wild in his youth, he wasn’t always nice to people, or he went through life like a little gremlin. But he liked to think he mellowed somewhat in high school. Treating everyone with respect. From the nerds to the jocks. He didn’t know what not trusting people’s words felt like. Like everything that someone said came laced with poisoned barbs ready to sting. 

“This is so fucking stupid,” you whispered. Your lip trembled but no tears fell down your face. 

Fuck, even now you were trying to hold everything in. Control a natural response to something painful. “When was the last time you cried?” Terry asked.

You stood up and snatched your purse and journal from the couch. “Session’s up, right?” You asked. You avoided looking at him as you rushed to the exit. The faux glass door clanged against the wall as you threw open the door and left, steps echoing on the linoleum flooring. 

He stared at the door as it lazily swung back and he wondered. And he pondered. 

Wheww, need more? The Secret Terry Richmond Files | Part 1

Taglist: You guys, ya'll gon make me cry with this taglist! Thank you!

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[tourettesdog]

Beta Reading and Fanfiction

I’ve been writing for a long time myself, but it’s only been very recently that I’ve immersed myself in communities online for it. I’ve been having so much fun really diving into Danny Phantom and DPxDC fanfic, and I’ve met so many great friends doing so.

I mostly do my own writing, but I’ve really enjoyed doing some beta reading as well, especially for friends! There’s something so fun about getting to dive into a work in progress and help where you can.

But I do feel like some people might really struggle to understand how to beta read, or what makes a good beta reader— especially where fanfiction is concerned. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have wonderful beta readers, but I’ve had some friends frustrated with the beta reading they’ve in turn received, or otherwise feeling uncomfortable in asking for a beta reader since they don’t know what to expect.

So, how should beta reading work? How do you do a good job?

Above all, the most important thing about beta reading is communication with your author. You are not in their WIP to prove how good of a writer you are, or to hammer their work into what you would personally be proud to present online. You are there to help, in whatever way the author has asked or communicated they're comfortable with.

Before you beta read anything it is vital to ask what the author is looking for in a beta reader. There are a number of things you can ask in particular, including:

What are you looking for help with?

Do you just want me to look for typos or confusing sentences?

Do you want suggestions for things to add?

Do you want suggestions on grammar, or other more in-depth writing suggestions?

Do you need help with characterization, or even the plot?

Depending on who you are beta reading for, you might have someone who only wants a very light beta touch. They might just want you to look for glaring mistakes, or for confirmation that a plot beat makes sense. 

Other authors might want something much more involved! They might be trying to improve their grammar, or perhaps they're not very familiar with writing a new character and they would like suggestions for how to better capture their voice.

Regardless of what an author wants in a beta reader, you won't know unless you ask them! It's possible that you simply might not be compatible as beta reader and author, depending on their answer, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's okay to step back and say "I personally like to beta read things more in depth than this, so I might not be the best person to give it a look."

Otherwise, getting an answer about your author's preferences can help you figure out how to help them. Perhaps you would normally make more suggestions, but if an author has specified that they're not comfortable with that, then it's not your job as their beta reader to do so. If you are capable of sticking to the help they've asked for, then you will ultimately be fulfilling your role as their beta reader admirably.

"But I'm just trying to help. Their work has a lot of places it could improve!"

Again, beta reading is not about shaping a story into something you would personally present as your writing. It is about helping the author produce a story they're comfortable with and proud of.

It's not about being right, or heavily criticizing their writing and grammar abilities (unless this is what the author has explicitly requested!)

Especially while writing fanfiction, the work presented is not something that will ever see publishing, or that needs to have flawless grammar and syntax. This is work done for free, and it is done for fun.

And that's something very vital to beta reading—

A beta reader needs to preserve the fun.

It's very daunting, putting your work out there for others. It's especially daunting putting your work up for analysis of any kind. You're accepting that people might not understand your vision, or may judge you for what you've written.

It's all too easy to compare yourself to other creatives online, and to overthink and overanalyze your talents. Too often, it’s easy to get discouraged and feel like your work isn’t good enough.

Beta reading should never be done in a way that will discourage writing. Even if an author has asked for a lot of help, it’s important to pick your battles with what you choose to analyze, and to check in with them if you feel like you might be crossing boundaries or covering their work in too much metaphorical red ink.

When people are trying to improve their writing, you don’t always have to mark every little suggestion you think of. Unless the author is a friend you know well, or has explicitly asked for Extreme measures of help, it might be best to ignore some smaller writing issues and focus instead on bigger things. 

If you’ve already marked a lot of issues in one paragraph, but have more things you could say, consider if the additional suggestions are vital or if it might be better to leave them be. After all, if your author is looking to improve, and if you are planning to beta read for them again in the future, then helping them with more glaring issues now will help them in a way that is not overwhelming, and will open the door for other kinds of suggestions to be better understood and absorbed. 

You can always check in with your author if you’re unsure, too. Ask them if they appreciate the amount of suggestions you’ve given them, or if it’s been too much. Your author might be uncomfortable with telling you that they’re overwhelmed, and checking in is a good way to ensure that you’re both on the same page.

All that being said, though, it is also important to not always focus on things to fix and improve. You’re not just editing the story, you’re reading it. Part of keeping beta reading fun is engaging in that story as any reader would. It both helps morale, and helps let the author know what they’re doing right, when you take the time to tell them what you enjoy about the work you’re beta reading!

There are so many ways you can express positive things about an author’s writing. Consider:

“I love how you phrased this sentence here.”

“This body language feels natural and very in character!”

“I love this word choice here.”

“This part was really funny and had me laughing.”

“I’m excited to see where this goes!”

You’re reading a story, and you must have thoughts and feelings on it outside of suggestions. Let your author know! People thrive on positive feedback, and there’s just as much to be gained in marking Positive attributes to a story as there is in noting places to improve.

The last major thing I feel is vital to beta reading is respecting that it is your author’s work, and that your suggestions (however clever or helpful you feel they are) may be rejected. And that that is okay. 

Suggestions are just that— suggestions.

What you might like in creative writing might not necessarily be what your author wants to express. You might love to use ellipses, or lots of different dialogue tags, while your author might prefer dashes and more standard dialogue tags. You might like to use more colorful descriptions of scenery and atmosphere, while your author might want to focus much more on the character body language and dialogue. You might like to use a lot of exclamation points and next to no italics, while your author might like a lot of italics and very little exclamation points. 

You’re ultimately two different people, with two different ideas of what is an ideal way to tell a story. And while you can give many different suggestions on just about anything the author might add, remove, or change, it’s ultimately the author’s choice whether or not they accept those changes.

It’s not your job as a beta reader to double down and insist that they accept a specific suggestion. It’s not your job to make a case for why you think they need to change something. If an author has denied a suggestion— it’s best to let it go. Especially if you don’t know them well, and don’t have a very good rapport with them, pushing the issue will only serve to make you both uncomfortable.

It’s not just about picking your battles, but also about mutual respect. You’re not a teacher, nor an editor looking to make their work prime for publishing. You have to respect their decisions for their own story, even if that means they decide not to take a suggestion you felt would be impactful. 

It’s also always important to keep in mind that writing style, particularly where creative writing is concerned, can vary wildly. The strict rules that you learn in school were made to be broken. You learn them to figure out how to break them and, particularly when writing for fun, it doesn’t even matter if you’re breaking those rules in a perfect way. It’s fanfiction. It’s freeform, it’s fun. If someone wants to make a habit out of going buckwild with their writing style, there’s really no reason to try and corral their writing into a box labeled “High School English 101”. 

You can’t force someone to write their fanfiction like it’s going to go to a letter grade, nor should you try to unless they’re looking for that level of editing. 

Be willing to listen, and pay attention to what is and isn’t working. It’s good to take note of suggestions that your author has already commented on. Have they thanked you for pointing out something in particular? Have they expressed they feel weak with something in their writing?

Is there a type of suggestion that you keep making that they have rejected multiple times?

Work with their strengths and with their style. Focus on suggestions that have been received well, and consider letting go of ones that the author clearly has no interest in, or that might conflict with their style.

Communicate and respect each other, above all else.

Beta reading is such a helpful and wonderful thing someone can do for an author. I’ve been so thankful to have it done for my own work, and I try my best to be helpful and considerate when I’ve beta read myself. 

Having my work beta read has really helped me find things to improve upon in my writing, and has helped me feel more confident in the stories I’ve posted, just having another eye look over them before they hit the internet. I don’t always take all of their suggestions, and might disagree from time to time with the direction they want something to go in, but I’ve been thankful to have understanding, kind betas that work with me well. 

And that’s one more point I want to touch on too, is that I hope that, as a beta reader, you find yourself with authors that show you mutual respect in turn. That they thank you for the work you’ve put in to help them succeed, and have made the experience positive for you as well.

It always makes me happy to see beta readers credited on posted works. It’s a kind thing for writers to show appreciation, and to acknowledge that someone helped shape the words you see on the page. 

This got much longer than I intended it to, but I just hope that this post might help some people in some way. Either to understand beta reading and the purpose of it, or how to potentially go about it themselves. 

I really recommend giving beta reading a try if you’re comfortable with it, especially if you have friends that write fanfiction! Even just an extra pair of eyes looking for typos can be a godsend for someone who has spent hours upon hours staring at a long fic and editing it.

[exn0bis]

So. Completed Veilguard. I have lots of thoughts.

Regardless, I don't think I'd be saying anything that hasn't already been said.

For my part, I went in with the expectation it was going to be bad. I was pleasantly surprised by some things, certainly by the technical aspects, but it fell about where I expected in most other ways.

But first, the good.

It was extremely refreshing to see a AAA game actually release so well optimized for once. I'm running an older system at this point, with a GTX 1080 TI. Even so, out of the box, I was able to run things on the Medium preset perfectly. After some troubleshooting the latest Nvidia driver, and updating the games native upscaling to FSR 3.x, I was running things on a mix of High & Ultra with minimal to no frame drops. This was way beyond what I expected, and made the play experience more enjoyable. While I do think that, like many games in the past few years, there is some over reliance on upscaling to make it look its best, Veilguard still maintains excellent visual fidelity without it.

On that note, the game is objectively gorgeous, regardless of how one feels about the art style (which I did personally like, too); I'm also extremely impressed how they adapted a simulated strand hair system into something playable in real-time without it being overly taxing. Would love to know the technical breakdown for that specifically, but either way, I would not be surprised if we start to see more games released with something similar going forwards.

Veilguard very much proved you can make something look gorgeous and still have it be playable on more than just the latest and greatest systems, and I hope it will encourage more studios to focus on how they optimize and implement their work.

I also found the general gameplay mechanics to be, overall, enjoyable. I was hesitant going in, as I'm 1) bad at games, and 2) from a CRPG background, so the real-time style of combat is not generally something I'm good at. I was also concerned about the stripping down of party mechanics, etc, that was a big part of the previous games. And while I do wish the party tactics had been a little more varied, I ultimately found combat fun and responsive, and that they struck a reasonable balance between simplicity with party, and overly tactical. It did have way too many buttons & combos for me, but that is definitely a me being bad at games thing and not a fault in the game.

I also was extremely impressed with how smoothly the game transitioned from gameplay to cutscenes, and I really liked the more open maps/elimination of excess loading screens.

Unfortunately, that is about all the praise I have for the game.

I'm not really going to talk too much about the complete disregard for the world state built by previous titles, because I think all that needs to be said about that has been. I agree that, from a development standpoint, they needed to find a way to simplify things. However, going so totally scorched earth that character creation literally states "you don't need to customize your previous choices if you don't want to because it doesn't really affect anything" only serves to insult and infuriate the very dedicated player base.

It's very clear that the goal of Veilguard is to wipe the slate clean for the purposes of rebranding and bringing in new players for future installments/capital. Considering the mass layoffs at Bioware, and EA's generally established business practices, this sort of tactic isn't really surprising, no, and was truthfully only a matter of time. But that doesn't stop it from feeling like a slap in the face.

That being established, the total disregard for existing lore, world state, impact of previous titles, glaring plot holes within Veilguard itself, etc, is unfortunately to be expected. No point in picking it apart individually, as it's all just a symptom of the goal of a clean slate reboot.

Which isn't to say I wasn't cursing at my screen by the end of it, but I digress.

I had hoped I could at least enjoy the game as something new, turn off the part of my brain that associated it with Dragon Age and just play it as a stand alone thing. This even worked for the first chapter or so, as I was really enjoying the exploration and gameplay. And then I started recruiting more people. And the main plot started to really get going. And turning my brain off suddenly stopped helping.

The writing is awful, full stop. It's all incredibly surface level and sanitized, and it treats the player with such ineptitude I started to feel like the game had actual disdain for me for trying to play and enjoy it. If I had a dollar for every time an NPC explicitly repeated a plot point or goal immediately after a cutscene that had already painfully spelled it out for me ended, I would have recouped the price of the game three times over. I get that reading comprehension is at an all time low, but holy shit. I paid for a sweeping fantasy narrative, not a degradation simulator that treats me like a moron.

If we manage to put that aside, we're left with a narrative that spends every spare second trying to convince you of how high the stakes are and how important your relationships will be to get through it... and then never actually manages to deliver on any of it. The game repeatedly shies away from showing you anything actually bad, or building anything actually meaningful.

Yes, we see the Blight being gross and a few choice deaths, but that's it. The mass devastation we're told is constantly happening all over Thedas? The staggering amounts of death taking place? The oh-so-vile practices and punishments of our main antagonists? Anything and everything that has to do with the extremely prevalent theme of slavery? That all happens off screen, if it happens at all. Somewhere nice and clean and safe for it to exist, sanitized of any tension or emotional impact. I cannot decide if the flagrant pacing issues in the narrative are a product of the missing tension, or their own problem.

And those important relationships we're told about follow the same pattern. Even if we ignore how everyone speaks to each other like they're reading the script of an HR Workplace Togetherness video, their personal stories are devoid of the stakes we are assured they have. I wanted so desperately to care about the things these character's cared about, but I left still unconvinced the character's themselves even gave a shit.

And with a shallow plot comes a shallow character; I felt no attachment to any of them, despite telling myself they'd grow on me as I progressed. Of course, I also didn't dislike any of them, either; I just didn't care, and I find that infinitely more damming.

I think what I find most frustrating is that the potential in the characters is there, at least. They're each interesting concepts with interesting themes, and every so often I'd get a cutscene that actually got me to feel something, to react, and I'd get excited thinking 'oh, this must be when it gets good.' But no, as soon as you're out of the cutscene, it's situation normal again. No more feelings, no more tension. That all happened off screen, again. Any emotional turmoil the character in question was in moments before is now gone in favor of Group Togetherness.

Rook is no exception to any of this, either; exactly as tepid as the rest, but coated with an even less polished illusion of substance. This is not helped by the fact that the game makes an active effort to remind you that Solas is the actual main character of this story. Rook, you as the player, are just sort of... there.

The headcanons I've seen from fans do more justice to this entire cast than the game ever does.

In summary, it's sad, I think. It's ultimately what I expected, but it's sad. Many of us have a very deep attachment to Dragon Age, the story and the community that built up around it. I literally met my wife through the Dragon Age fandom. I learned to explore some deeply personal things about myself through how I related to the story and characters because of how much depth and nuance there was to examine. To see all that reduced to what amounts to a very prettily polished turd is just... yeah. Sad.

I'm really happy that there are people who have enjoyed the game. Genuinely. I hope they'll continue to do so. Myself, I'll probably still go on a screenshot binge and enjoy how pretty it looks, too. But Veilguard is very much the end of Dragon Age, for me. And I'm sad about it.

[georgiapeach30513]

Just because it's Friday and I think it may help with a few reminders in case your inbox starts to get flooded with the same old bs since a movie is releasing today:

R1 was filmed two years ago. It was supposed to be released at the end of last year but got delayed. The movie is now releasing this weekend so of course there will be tons of promotion because I'm sure the Rock and his crew spent a hefty amount on marketing and PR for this film. Chris is second billing so he's going to help with promoting the film and if that includes some other fluff pieces, then so be it. And People magazine loves to write fluff posts.

The movie was filmed TWO years ago. Chris has long moved on from this film, despite whatever reception it may get, and people may want to remember that. He is apparently already back to work on his most recent project, and he's already filmed two other projects this year. Nobody knows when these films plan to release or how they will release, but I expect it'll happen in the next few months or year.

Chris has had some recent misfires and from what I can see, it feels like some decisions were rushed due to the pandemic and also perhaps some business decisions made on the backend (get some bigger paychecks, then cushion your way to doing some smaller indie films). The way his last three projects appear to be much smaller in budget and scale, I think this is a safe bet that's what happened.

If your intention is to go looking for confirmation bias, that's what you're going to get. Searching for bad reviews and justifying it as a reason to be mad or upset, of course you're going to revel in misery loves company.

It looks like Chris did a great job in this otherwise lackluster movie and he has a lot of charm and charisma, but him carrying the film on his back isn't much if he's the only one doing the lifting. JK Simmons actually did lift heavy weights but he got wasted in this film because of his role being the "kidnapped Santa." So I wouldn't harp too much on that.

General audiences and critics are disappointed Chris's post MCU career hasn't been super exciting, but most agree they think he deserves better and wants better for him. Perhaps it's a testament the legacy he left in his most famous role, that has people just rooting for him regardless. Let's see what he does next. I think he's slowly carving a new path as we speak.

Lastly: Remember that in the world of public relations, marketing, and entertainment, agenda is always underlying. That being said, sometimes less famous and less influential people latch onto the more influential and famous in order to get a leg up. This usually happens when someone either doesn't have the ability themselves, or there's a bigger and more strategic story behind everything or there's transactional mutual benefits. Why do actresses like Sydney Sweeney and Florence Pugh seem to be able to go so far on their own, while others like Jordan Hudson (aka Bill Belichick's new gf) or every one of Leo D's gfs of the last decade seem to pop up on scene leveraging their relationships to get attention? Well...think about it. For example, Jordan is a former collegiate cheerleader that is now dating a famous ex head NFL coach. She's getting a lot of press right now due to this relationship and she was papped showing up to cheerleading practice recently in a Porsche. I'll just leave you with that. (And no, I don't think it's just because Bill is suddenly going through his mid-life crisis when he's 70 years old.)

You know what, anon? I’m not going to add anymore to this post. You’ve said it all.

I will say, I’m going in a few hours to watch the movie. Got a snack box made for us, and I’ll see what it has to offer. People who think that a Christmas movie with Dwayne is going to anything more than fun, high octane, and goofy are fooling themselves.

And let’s be honest, most people haven’t checked out a ton of Chris’ movies outside of Knives Out and Marvel anyways. They want him to do more unique roles, and he has, but they don’t watch 🙄 he’s creating the career he wants.

[orimuraa]

𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪ Go big or go home - Lee Heeseung

꒰ 𝔖𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 ꒱┆famous model, y/l/n y/n, has caught the eye of famous f1 racer, lee heeseung, but how will they ever be able to interact when they're lives are so different? ⨾

۶ৎ f1 racer!heeseung x fem model!reader ┆fake dating to lovers, slow burn┆cursing, alcohol, age gap? (2 years), kissing, petnames, angst, some fluff┆ wc 4.8k

⤷ 𝐲𝐞𝐣𝐢’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: its finally here!!! tysm to everyone who waited for this and i hope you enjoy! this is my first super long fic and i would really appreciate reblogs and feedback! tysm!!

TEASER

꒰ঌ ℬℴℴ𝓀𝓈𝒽ℯ𝓁𝒻 ໒꒱

the adrenaline of racing was always too much for y/n. her life was the exact opposite of that type of life and she never wanted to get in anything like that.

she had worked so hard for the reputation she now has, putting literal blood, sweet and tears into her career as a model.

but now look where she was. she was the global face of dior, prada, miu miu, louis vuitton and so many more brands.

everyone knew who y/l/n y/n was in korea. she was such an icon for the modeling world and never seen slipping up.

it was like she had no flaws.

but lee heeseung was the literal opposite of the whole life y/n had built for herself.

he was careless and daring, not completely caring about anyone’s opinions about him or his reputation.

not to mention, he was insanely hot. his looks stealing the hearts of many of his fans.

heeseung liked racing cause he felt like he could truly be himself—careless and reckless.

and heck, he’s made it his whole life now! he was an f1 racer who had quite the following now.

y/n was very much aware of who lee heeseung was, and even watched some of the races he was in.

she had to admit, he was indeed hot, but what would her fans think of her and heeseung?

her “fans” always criticized every man that got close to her, saying they were unworthy of her attention.

so to avoid anymore scandals that could truly ruin her career, y/n has steered clear of basically any man in sight.

heeseung couldn’t deny that the girl was pretty, she was drop dead gorgeous! but he knew what happens to people when they get too close to y/n, and that was something that he did not want happening to him.

“miss y/n! you’re going to be late for the fashion show due to the flight being delayed..” one of y/n’s staff informed, refreshing the flight page over and over.

y/n was supposed to fly out to a prada event in milan, but due to the weather, her flight was delayed by 2 hours, meaning she was gonna make it the the show late.

“then i guess we will have to get ready in the airport,” y/n sighed, subconsciously twirling a strand of her hair out of anxiety.

what was heeseung gonna do? he’s never been to a fashion show before! and not to mention, his staff has little to no experience with such fancy events like this!

his staff is for his races and making sure all his gear is in one spot for him, not dressing him up in a $10,000 suit for some prada show.

on the other hand though, heeseung was excited for a new experience, and he got a free flight down in first class! so it was a win-win.

his teammates were giving him a bunch of complaints out of jealousy because of a specific person.

and that person, was y/l/n y/n. his teammates were so jealous that he was going to the same event as her and had the chance to talk to her.

to heeseung, it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. big name celebrities go to these types of shows all the time! so what’s the big deal about y/l/n y/n?

sure she had the visuals of an angel and heeseung may or may not have felt a few butterflies whenever he saw her on a magazine or on an article online.

but now that he was actually gonna meet her (potentially), he couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous.

y/n was able to make it out of the airport bathroom just on time where her staff rushed to get her ready for the show.

she arrived at the location of the show, mentally preparing herself for the camera flashes and screams around her.

once she stepped out of the car, she made sure to wave and smile politely to all the fans that waiting hours to see her.

“you’ll be sitting here next to mr. lee,” one of the hosts told y/n once she made it inside.

“oh hello! i’m glad i get to sit next to someone who speaks korean as well! my english is…well..not very good,” she smiled sheepishly.

“hi, i’m lee heeseung and yes, it is quite nice to have someone to converse with,” heeseung smiled, a couple of unwanted butterflies fluttering around in his stomach.

“ah right! i’m y/l/n y/n,” she smiled, the lights dimming and cutting off their conversation.

throughout the show, y/n and heeseung shared light comments with each other and for once, y/n kinda forgot that she had the type of career and reputation that if she talked to a guy, she would be caught up in a dating scandal.

the after party was a very..unique?…experience. for heeseung, it was a very new experience to have such fancy people surrounding him while he was just a mere car racer.

but y/n made it better. they both weren’t big fans of going out and socializing with new people—especially if they needed to speak in their very broken english.

“so what’s it like? the thrill of racing?” y/n asked, nursing a glass of wine. why’d she even have it? she hated alcohol.

“it’s really an experience. you get to live life freely, not really caring about being reckless. it’s kinda my escape from the world, y’know?” heeseung chuckled, taking another sip of his glass.

“hm, must be nice..” y/n murmured, thinking about what her life would be like if she wasn’t a model and if she didn’t have all these expectations of being “perfect” all the time.

the two talked for the rest of the party, sharing small touches on the arm whenever one said something funny.

“thank you heeseung, for keeping me company and letting me be..well, myself,” y/n said softly. “i have to go catch a flight back to seoul but maybe we can stay in contact? here’s my number.” she said, sliding him a piece of paper.

“for sure. it was great talking with you y/n,” heeseung smiled back, sending her a small wink.

little did they know, someone had managed to get a few photos of their interactions.

the next morning, y/n and heeseung both faced faced the consequences of their actions.

FAMOUS F1 RACER, LEE HEESEUNG, AND FAMOUS MODEL, Y/L/N Y/N, ARE DATING?

the article shocked y/n and she immediately rushed to call her manager.

“what the fuck?” heeseung whispered to himself. he ran a hand through his hair, reading the article about him and y/n.

in the article, there was a photo of y/n touching his arm while laughing and heeseung is seen with a wide smile on his face.

fuck. he was so screwed. y/n was so screwed. he immediately opened twitter just to see his name and y/n’s trending for their dating scandal.

“oh for fucks sake!” he turned off his phone and threw it onto the bed.

y/n had just gotten off of her flight when the article reached her, making her push through the usual airport crowds of paparazzi worse.

“is it true you’re dating lee heeseung?”

“why lee heeseung? he’s no good for you!”

“y/n ssi? are the rumors true?”

it was all too overwhelming for y/n and the constant shoving and clicking of cameras was most definitely not helping.

it felt like she had to trudge a mile through mud just to make it to the car, letting a sigh of relief out as she sunk into the chair.

as she sat there though, she wondered how heeseung was taking it? he might have it worse than her since some of her “fans” were quite toxic to the people she got into scandals with.

he hasn’t texted..he probably wants nothing to do with me. y/n thought to herself, looking down at her empty messages.

all the way back in milan, heeseung was getting ready to head back to korea, not exactly thrilled to hear what his teammates had to say about his new scandal.

fuck. how’s y/n holding up? she must have it much worse than me. heeseung thought to himself, nervously bouncing his knee up and down.

once he made it to the airport, he was unexpectedly swarmed by crazy fans just trying to get an answer to their questions.

“are you really dating her? she’s too good for you.”

“how long have you been dating miss y/n?”

heeseung was not having it. he pushed his way through the crowd of people, pulling down his beanie even further.

throughout the flight, heeseung found himself constantly thinking about y/n. why though? did he really like her? or was it just out of pity? if these were the reactions to their dating scandal, how would they react if they were actually dating?

wait- when would they ever actually date?

either way, it would probably ruin both of their careers.

y/n paced back and forth, waiting for any form of contact from heeseung.

she didn't exactly expect him to contact her especially after this huge scandal, but she wanted to make sure he was doing okay.

she eventually gave up on waiting after another 30 minutes went by with no new notification.

with a sigh, she sat down on the couch, lost in thought.

would she be able to just ignore this scandal?

would it be just a quick scandal? or a long-lasting one?

many questions occupied y/n's thoughts, causing her to miss the way her phone vibrated next to her.

finally checking her phone, she saw a message from lee heeseung.

hey, i know i'm probably the last person you want to hear from but i just wanted to make sure you were doing okay with all the crazy fans

it took a couple minutes for y/n to actually process the words on the screen before quickly texting back.

oh hi heeseung! no worries, i was actually scared that you wouldn't wanna talk to me since it's mainly my 'fans' who are making this a big deal

she had only formally met heeseung for a day but she couldn't help but slowly fall for his charm.

y/n loved how care-free he was and despite his reputation as a racer, he was actually a sweetheart.

the next few days consisted of hiding from the public, not being seen anywhere, and a lot of meetings with her company about how they could cover up this scandal.

meanwhile, heeseung hadn't raced since he came back from milan which started to worry his teammates.

"dude, you alright? you've been so different since your scandal with y/n," one of his teammates stated, finally talking about the elephant in the room.

all heeseung did was sigh and stand up.

“yeah i’m fine,” he grunted, grabbing his jacket and walking out. his teammates exchanged glances with each other. it was obvious heeseung wasn’t doing well.

hey, are you free to meet up?

heeseung didn’t exactly know why he texted y/n.

why would she even wanna meet up with him? god he felt so stupid after sending that text.

sure! you can come over to my place! just make sure not to be seen

heeseung’s eyes widened as he read the text over and over. heeseung enjoyed y/n’s company and even though they were polar opposites, he found a source of comfort while talking to her.

she was so sweet and genuine with him unlike his crude teammates and competitors.

he quickly slipped on his shoes, clicking on the address y/n sent him.

when he arrived, he noticed how grand the apartment complex was. the building was clean and screamed “rich vibes”.

“you made it! hi heeseung!” as soon as the door opened, heeseung was greeted with y/n’s sweet smile.

“hey, sorry for the sudden text. i just..needed to talk to you,” he sighed, looking down at his shoes.

y/n took a guess that it was probably about their dating scandal so she just smiled sympathetically and let him in.

the first thing heeseung noticed about y/n’s place was how homey it was.

it was neat and had cute decorations that made heeseung smile.

she was such a professional model on camera and that’s all he’s known her for, so seeing this side of y/n was refreshing to see.

the plushies and little figured that scattered the shelves and furniture reminded him that y/n was still young and was practically living two lives.

“oh, sorry about the mess…here you can sit here,” she smiled sheepishly, moving a big stuffy off the couch and motioning for heeseung to sit.

“would you like anything to drink?” god she was so charming.

“oh! uhh no it’s fine, thank you though,” he smiled.

“soo..i assume that you’re here to talk about the scandal? i’m so sorry that you got into it with me,” y/n frowned. “i always hate when i just talk with someone and it means that i’m dating them.”

heeseung noticed the way y/n’s eyes looked down, almost like she was sick of her life.

“hey, no it’s okay. trust me, i would hate that too and you’re truly so strong for putting up with all that,” heeseung reassured. “but i wanted to actually..propose something.”

y/n’s eyes widened, curious about what heeseung had to offer.

“i’m listening,”

“okay, so i was thinking we would maybe…fake date? like, just until the paparazzi get off our backs and then we can break it off,” heeseung says, searching y/n’s face for any reaction. “it would benefit you and me from the scandals and articles and just…i don’t know. i just think it’s better than leaving this as a rumor.” heeseung sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“i get it…they might go crazy when it’s first announced and then they’ll move onto the next piece of drama..” y/n mumbled, fidgeting her hands. “let’s do it. plus, it might be fun to see each other’s lives!” y/n chirped, smiling at the thought of experiencing heeseung’s life.

“deal! it will end when the netizens move on from us,”

“yup!” y/n agreed, shaking heeseung’s hand. “but i think we should also establish some ground rules.”

the first day was all planned out. y/n and heeseung had both decided that they would rather make a statement about them dating than have a netizen figure it out.

y/n agreed to talk to her company, confirming the rumor with heeseung.

heeseung didn’t really have to do anything since a lot of f1 racers were free to date whoever they wanted.

once y/n was done with her meeting—which went surprisingly well and the company agreed to make a public statement about it—y/n went to go meet up with heeseung.

“hey? how’d it go?” heeseung asked, subconsciously twirling the straw of his coffee between his fingers.

“it went well actually. they weren’t that surprised and said they would make a statement later this evening. but, now we need to make it believable,” y/n said, thinking back to the ground rules they established.

“there’s no need for any pda when we aren’t in public, this is just for show so keep it casual. when we’re in public though, we have to make it believable so do anything to fool the media,” heeseung read off the paper. y/n just nodded, agreeing to all the rules.

“no catching feelings,” y/n added, just to be sure. but deep down, she wasn’t sure if she really wanted that.

“yeah, we can start by just holding hands and being more comfortable with each other?” heeseung suggested, trying not to make it sound awkward.

“mhm, that sounds good,” y/n mumbled, her mind somewhere else.

LEE HEESEUNG AND Y/L/N Y/N ARE CONFIRMED TO BE DATING

the articles started rolling in just 5 minutes after y/n’s company put out a statement.

y/n was nervously scrolling through the comments, reading the reactions to her and heeseung.

most were positive but there was wuite a few negative comments.

“hey, don’t worry about them, they’re just jealous that we’re such a power couple,” heeseung laughs, trying to cheer y/n up.

“yeah..you’re right. i just…can’t help it sometimes, y’know? i want to make my fans happy and i don’t want to feel like i let them down. so i often check their reactions to things i do..” y/n says, looking down at her lap. “it’s just become a habit now..”

heeseung would be stupid if he didn’t notice the way y/n’s mood dropped.

“no no no, it’s okay. we’re gonna get through this together and it will all blow over in a couple of weeks. besides, you might even have some fun getting to be a bit more free around me,” heeseung winks, causing y/n to giggle and look away.

the first time heeseung and y/n went out together now that they were a “couple”, fans spotted them immediately, taking photos, videos, only to post it on social media to get more clout.

heeseung made sure to secure y/n by wrapping an arm around her waist, tapping it occasionally to let her know that he’s there for her. like a real boyfriend would do.

heeseung was just a couple years older than y/n but he felt the need to protect her. truth be told, he enjoyed spending time with her, getting to see what she was truly like behind the scenes.

he hadn’t really been going to practice, opting to spend time with y/n and getting to know her better.

y/n still had her modeling duties to do, but she still made time to hang out with heeseung and she often brought him along to her shoots. his soft touches and little gestures made her stomach flutter.

by the end of the week, the whole media was convinced that y/n and heeseung were the “it” couple of the year.

they were so different yet they clicked so well. all of y/n’s staff were convinced, heeseung’s teammates, and the whole world basically.

but the downside to this all was that y/n had actually started to catch feelings for heeseung. she adored the way he laughed at her non-funny jokes like they were the funniest things ever, the way he looked at her with such adoration in his eyes, and his company.

his company made y/n so happy and she felt so..understood.

heeseung understood y/n’s situation and even though he was never in that type of spotlight, he felt empathy for the girl.

he was caring and let her rant about all her built up issues from her career, always paying attention to her.

that’s what y/n’s problem with heeseung was. he cared about her like no one else did. he made her fall for him, even though she wasn’t supposed to.

heeseung was dealing with something quite similar.

he was slowly falling in love with y/n. actually, scratch that. he was in love with y/n.

she always managed to light up the room with her presence and make heeseung smile.

her laugh was contagious and she was so sweet and bubbly. it was such a refreshing experience for heeseung as non of his teammates were ever like this.

y/n brought out a whole new side of him that he didn’t even know existed. he found himself becoming more caring around her and he was less reckless around her.

but he was so sure that y/n didn’t feel the same. after all, she was the one who made the rule not to fall in love with each other.

little did they both know, they were both falling in love with each other, thinking it was never gonna be reciprocated.

the second week passed by like no time at all. y/n had her photoshoots to go to and some local fashion events here in korea while heeseung busied himself with practice in hopes that his feelings would die down if he distracted himself with the upcoming big race he had.

y/n was also distancing herself a bit from heeseung. she was scared that her heart would be left broken once the fake dating ended.

she had fallen for lee heeseung.

the one thing she told herself not to do.

heeseung of course noticed her sudden distance and became worried for her.

“princess?” —a new nickname he had started calling y/n which made her stomach turn. “are you okay? i haven’t heard much from you and i got worried,” heeseung said, taking off his shoes as he entered y/n’s apartment.

“heeseung…i-i…i dont think i can do this anymore!” she blurted, her negative thoughts getting the best of her.

she watched as heeseung’s face fell, a darker look on his face now.

“what? what do you mean? what do you mean you can’t do this anymore?” he asked, anger laced in his voice.

“i’m sorry hee, i just…i can’t do this anymore! pretending we’re dating when we’re not! it’s just..not working for me..” y/n mumbled, to ashamed to look heeseung in the eye.

she was scared that if she told him the truth, he would get even angrier at her for breaking the rule she made.

“fine! be like that then! don’t tell me why you suddenly want to break this off! that’s fine with me, but don’t come crying back to me when everything falls apart for you!” heeseung seethes, slipping his shoes back on and slamming the door on his way out.

the second the door closed, y/n broke down. she fell to the floor, tears rapidly streaming down her face.

what had she done?

heeseung was beyond mad. but he couldn’t deny that his heart felt a little broken too.

he fell for y/n in these past couple weeks only to have it broken off with no explanation.

his big race was in a few days and he really wanted y/n to be there for him, but now, he didn’t even want to think about her.

the next few days were torture for the two of them. y/n had tried to distract herself with photo shoots, but how could she when heeseung’s big race was all her staff were talking about?

heeseung was similar to y/n. he was practicing for hours and hours, trying to forget y/n, but it was hard when he kept seeing her face on billboards and magazines.

they both didn’t want to admit that they fell for each other.

the day of the race, heeseung was warming up for the biggest race of his career. but he couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart just by thinking that he wouldn’t have y/n there to cheer him on.

but he couldn’t get distracted now, he had a race to win for fucks sake.

y/n had to practically beg for the day off to her manager. she intended to make things right with lee heeseung.

so, in a baseball cap and a mask, she made her way to the stadium.

to be honest, y/n had no idea what she was doing here. it was clear that heeseung wanted nothing to do with her anymore yet she still needed to see him.

the public didn’t know that they had “broken up” yet so in their eyes, they were still the perfect couple.

after a couple days of moping around, debating whether or not she should tell heeseung how she actually felt about him, she decided that it was only fair that he knew the truth.

once she got to her seat, she really felt the energy in the stadium.

fans were screaming and cheering for all their favorite racers, but she was only here for one.

heeseung’s race was supposed to be the main event of the show tonight as he was going for a world record.

throughout the course of time y/n had spent with heeseung, she did in fact, learn a thing or two about racing, so she wasn’t completely stupid.

as the lights dimmed down and the cheers got louder, y/n could feel her heart quicken. she took off the hat and her mask as it got way too stuffy in the stadium.

from afar, she could see the figure of lee heeseung walking to his race car, his helmet in his hands as he waved to the crowd.

he looked so natural and free in his usual setting and it was like y/n got to experience a whole new side of him.

but then, he turned around, facing y/n’s direction, only to catch her gaze on him. his expression turned into an unreadable one before turning back around and slipping into his car.

once he was in his car, his opponents also got in their cars, now revving up the engines, ready to take off.

y/n nervously looked around at the opponents and then the countdown.

a girl in a skimpy outfit walked into the middle of the cars, a flag in her hands.

3..2…1! GO!

she blew the whistle and raised the flag, making sure to pose for the crowd before walking off once the cars had passed her.

the moment the cars took off, y/n stopped breathing. she watched as heeseung flew across the track, his speed intensifying more and more.

he was a whole lap in front of everyone else, which was a good thing…until it wasn’t.

“oh my god, he’s going too fast!” another person who was sitting next to y/n screamed. y/n’s gaze caught heeseung’s car and the person next to her was right. he was going too fast. he was gonna crash.

heeseung’s car was practically a blur of red, black and white as his car zoomed through the course.

but he never slowed down.

he only sped up.

y/n felt her heart drop as heeseung only moved faster. he was on the final lap, but it didn’t matter. he was going to win anyways but what mattered was his speed.

yes he was going for a world record but this was unsafe. he was going way too fast and he knew it.

heeseung sat in his car, hands tightly around the wheel. before he stepped into his car, he saw y/n.

what was she doing here? the days he spent after the argument with y/n were filled with regret. he should’ve never blew up at her like that.

he should’ve listened to her and her reasoning. he felt so awful. he was so sure she hated him.

so why was she in the stands, watching him? he sped faster, dying to finish the race. dying to tell y/n how fucking sorry he was. he was such an idiot for letting her go so easily. dying to tell her that he loved her.

as he crossed the finish line, he itched to get out of his car. he impatiently waited for all the other cars to come to a stop so it would be safe for him to run out.

something in y/n’s body told her to go. go to him and tell him how much she fell for him.

so that’s what she did. she got up from her seat, rushing down to the gate.

heeseung had the same intent because as soon as it was clear to get out, he threw open the door and rushed out.

his helmet discarded on the floor, not giving a single car for the world except for y/n.

there, he saw her waiting by the gates and he ran harder.

“y/n?? what are you doing here??” he breathed, his voice shaky from the adrenaline.

“i came to see you. i can to tell you how sorry i was and how much of a fool i wa-” she was cut off with heeseung’s lips pressing against hers.

their lips fit together like puzzle pieces and it felt so right. y/n quickly melted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around heeseung’s neck.

pulling away, the two of them were breathless.

“i’m the one who should be sorry. i said some things that i shouldn’t have said and i hurt you,” heeseung’s tone was soft yet apologetic. tears sprang to y/n’s eyes as she smiled at heeseung.

“i think…i-i fell in love with you lee heeseung. that’s why i ended this. i was so scared that i would continue falling for you and eventually when it would end, i would be even more heartbroken. i didn’t want to end it but i felt like i had to,” y/n cried into heeseung’s shoulder.

heeseung sighed and wrapped his arms around y/n’s shorter frame.

“princess, i loved you too. i loved you the moment we met in milano,” he chuckled softly, kissing y/n’s head. “i’m so fucking in love with you it hurts.” he laughed.

“i guess that makes two,” y/n smiled, pulling away to look at heeseung’s face.

they both leaned in, connecting their lips one more time.

“i knew you’d win,” y/n whispered against heeseung’s lips.

“yeah?” he smirked, a cocky expression on his face.

the two stayed in each other’s arms for a bit longer, forgetting about the world outside.

“so are we dating for real now?” y/n asked.

“for real.” heeseung smiled, kissing her forehead one more time.

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: @en-diaries, @k-films, @k-nets

⚘. Perm taglist: @vmpivory, @yuvany, @seozii, @pinknjm, @greentulip, @jomisu, @nxzz-skz, @ancnymcnzjy

taglist: @blvengene, @punchbug9-blog, @hoshieee, @jxp1-t3r, @mrsjohnnysuh, @hommyy-tommy

[impactrueno]

I saw your twt about holding back on telling stories with serious and deep tones and it reminded me of an issue I had a while back. Im a south park fan and I loved reading deep analysis of the characters. and south park being south park, people dont take it seriously and think its just funny so it doesnt deserve deep analysis like other forms of media. I always came across comments saying "its not that deep" or "doing all of that for south park" and I used to hate that so much because why are you commenting that under the authors post? In media there is like a "spectrum" of how deep you are in it as a fan, and it doesn't make you less of a fan if you like to binge watch the show when you feel like it because its funny. Someone who makes fan fiction and psychoanalyses the characters doesnt make them a better fan than you. I hate "it's not deep" because it is that deep to me, I enjoy it, but it dismisses critical thinking and discourages deep discussions about our interests. I want to learn more about the turning point for eric cartman and the friendship dynamics between the main 4. I want to read psychoanalysis of the characters and understand why they do the things they do. I loved reading fan fics with an author that understood how the characters work and put them in situations while making it believable. Whether the content was deep and serious or lighthearted and silly. I don't see those as cringe at all. What I see as cringe is trying to downplay someones time and effort. you dont care for it. cool, just dont make it our problem.

I believe in recent years, this cringe and its not that deep mentality is linked to media literacy/reading comprehension issues. On top of the fact, that fandoms right now has been "normalized", so alot of mean and rude kids and adults are in this space not having a mature and respectful conversation and discussions, as well as zero fandom etiquette. (I understand the past wasnt this magical respectful place but this behaviour has increased compared to past years).

Please don't worry about making deep content, its super fun and there will be fans of what you write/draw that will definitely be into it.

GOSH anon you are absolutely right. cringe culture has done some serious damage to people's creativity and freedom of expression. doing things in earnest is now cringe to so many people (specifically that 18-21 age where they think they're better than everyone else and everything is cringe to them, image is everything) and they actually give you shit for it?? it's crazy. the most harmless thing in the world. whenever my hey arnold comics would leave my target audience on instagram i would get the meanest comments for no fucking reason, because i was taking hey arnold "seriously" (nevermind that hey arnold is probably the nicktoon with the most emotional depth and moments besides ginger but i digress) but hey at least i'm not the one losing my marbles over some random cartoon comic on the internet.

i think rudeness in general has been too normalized not just in fandom, but in social media in general. it's sad. the only thing you can do about it is be kind as much as you can to counterbalance it. i'd like to think that rubs off on people just like how being rude rubbed off on them.

i said that thing about holding back because i'm admittedly too hard on myself sometimes. no one is calling me cringe or making fun of me for what i do, thankfully, people have been super cool and supportive. and it means a lot to me because i'm very earnest about everything i create, even when i try to hold back. i literally cannot help being myself. it's all i know how to do. i'm just glad i was able to grow a platform where i'm free to be openly passionate about the things i like, talk about them and why i like them, the little things that i find fascinating, the emotions they make me feel, all of that shit is awesome and i wish more people did that.

[to-be-a-dreamer]

you sound like a right winger. cancel culture?

This is legitimately the funniest insult I’ve ever received thank you Anon. Like, you can’t think of any better way to discredit my post about how I wish people would just let a character be Not Racist and acknowledge that sometimes people can learn they were wrong and become better people so you call me (a queer woman of color who is college-educated and an immigrant, btw, just so we’re all on the same page) a “right winger” for using easily-recognizable terminology to ensure everyone reading understands what I think is the core issue. Incredible, insane, I wish you weren’t a coward who posted anonymously so I could scroll through your blog because I’m sure you’ve got jokes.

But anyways, since we’re all here I’ll take the opportunity to explain what I mean and my thoughts on cancel culture.

Original post that Anon is talking about for reference

People on the internet are obsessed with this idea of perfection. They think that a person has to do the right thing, always, every time. They think that a person who does or has ever done something shitty is just a shitty person who doesn’t deserve a platform. And they think that a person who was a shitty person in the past should always be viewed in that way. They can never accept that someone could have toxic or harmful views, realize they were wrong, and then become a better person, especially if they went through that journey offline or a long time ago. They don’t care if the person they see before them is clearly an open-minded, good person who doesn’t possess those views anymore. In their eyes, that person is still that same bigoted asshole from three, five, ten, twenty years ago and they have to acknowledge that past and be publicly shamed for it every single day in order to be “forgiven”. (They will never truly forgive)

And it’s just. I don’t understand it because what is the point of activism and education if we’re not going to allow people to learn what we’re trying to teach? How is our movement supposed to grow if we don’t accept the people who have been touched and reformed by it? How does any of this get better if we don’t allow people to be better?

Here’s my biggest problem with “cancel culture” (the mass ostracism and shaming of someone who has behaved or spoken in a socially unacceptable way). I think that this kind of mindset has led to an entire generation of internet users who are terrified of ever doing “the wrong thing” on the internet. We’re so afraid of making mistakes because we know how hard it is to come back from that and how unforgivable the rest of the internet is. And it’s turned us into overly defensive people who struggle to admit when we’ve done something wrong. We’re terrified to consider the possibility that we’re the "bad guy" in any situation because we've convinced ourselves that doing something shitty makes you a shitty person. We think our individual actions are lifetime sentences. I've seen so many people on the internet make small mistakes but double down and take things way too far when they're called out for it because they don't want to see themselves as a person who does problematic things. Because we've convinced ourselves that making a mistake makes you a bad person on a fundamental level. We've tied the amount of criticism we receive to our self-worth.

I also notice that it prevents people who actually need to learn and be better from realizing that. Because the amount of hate someone receives is so disproportionate to any mistake they actually made, it's so easy for a person to think "okay there's no way I deserve to be harassed this much, this is probably just the internet overreacting again, I haven't done anything wrong" and instead of learning the small lesson they needed to learn they just brush off the hate and dismiss it as cancel culture.

And so to bring this back to 9-1-1, I do think that some of the hate towards Tommy is due to shipping wars, but on a deeper level I think people just can't handle the truth that Tommy is actually a good person now. Maybe it stems from people hating the idea that someone who made their own lives miserable could learn and grow and become a better person later in life like Tommy did. Maybe people have some unresolved trauma about bigots that they're projecting onto these characters. Maybe they want to feel morally superior and just don't like the idea that someone who was shitty in the past could go on to have the same views and ideals as them. It's hard to tell for sure and it probably varies from person to person but I think the idea that a person has to be defined by their past is a big part of it on all levels.

Anyways, those are my thoughts on cancel culture as a whole and why I think the current generation of internet users has a really tough time taking accountability and why we all have rejection sensitivity (not RSD, the actual real medical condition, just a general sensitivity to being told you're in the wrong). We don't like to confront our own flaws because, according to the internet, those flaws make you a terrible person always and forever and you will never be able to overcome them or move past them. I hope this all makes sense I've been thinking about this a lot since 2020 but I've never tried to explain it in words. I don't think there's anything wrong with holding people accountable for past actions, I think there's something wrong with the disproportionate hate those people receive and the amount of shaming and shunning they have to go through before they're allowed to move on with their lives.

[mdhwrites]

i wanted to ask you about some legend of Korra stuff but I know you've said your not a worldbuilding guy so here's my toh ask instead: what is the appeal of camillip (Camilla and Philip)? I'm not asking as a belos hater (I mean I do hate him but more cause I find him un-intimidating- he's not exactly competent) but it's such a crackship. I'm not against it I support most ships so long as pedophilia/incest isn't involved but it's a very odd ship. Same goes for goldric but I actually didn't see as much of that ship like other people in the fandom at the time did. So why do you think people are so drawn to this ship? I know the villain x hero, enemies to lovers dynamic is popular and how there is that corruption vs innocence and bigot in love trope but most people remove Philip's villainy/bigotry? So why do you think people are so drawn to this ship?

So first: I can criticize worldbuilding, I will criticize TOH's after all, but it's just not my strongest suit, especially when it comes to my own fiction. The bigger issue with asking me about Korra stuff is just that I've only seen the first season when it was coming out, and like two episodes of the second, and went "Well, I like the slice of life stuff, didn't like the actual plot stuff and WOW this is bad now. Peace." It's also so long ago I can't actually give any real opinions of my own for something I found mostly forgettable.

Second: I would bet Philip and Camila as a ship actually has nothing to do with Philip being a villain. So a potentially awkward take I have about Belos is that part of why he may appeal to certain parts of the fandom is that, well... He's the only dude with confidence. He's the only one who might ever put his foot down. Everyone else is either too nice or submissive to have a proper backbone and there are going to be fans who strictly don't want that out of the male characters they play with. Belos gives that to someone for TOH and Camila can play against that in many ways. Either you lean into how subservient she is to her daughter's whims and have her second to him, or you have him and her push against each other as peers or you lean into the fact that both theoretically want to temper Luz into being a better human being but have very different ways to go about it, leading to its own push and pull. There's a lot of good, dynamic stuff there just by base personalities.

You also admittedly have another side of him: The Hunter side. Hunter is your edgelord, punk kid with a tragic backstory and as someone who has spent time with Belos enjoyers, one of the REALLY compelling parts about him to them is that he is arguably wronged in many of the same ways that Hunter is. Someone who was raised a certain way and was told by his family to believe in those ideals until suddenly he was betrayed out of nowhere and found himself alone. However, unlike Hunter, the cultural brainwashing actually, you know, was cultural brainwashing and he took the words to heart and committed terrible things because of it. Things he has now doubled down on for centuries as they are all he has to cling to.

That sort of backstory is RIPE for an "I can fix him" mentality and Camila is the perfect sort of character to do that. She is kind, has the patience of a saint, a firm moral code but also a perseverance which means she won't give up. Who better then to pull out the better man in him, the leader and visionary who made the Isles into frankly a damn near utopia besides his one law, than Camila? Mix that with the history he has with Luz, or general conflicts he could have with Luz, and this adds a lot of angst and stakes to anything to do with their relationship.

Camila is also admittedly the only non-squicky option for all of this with him really. I mean... As far as women who are legal go, you either need to age up characters, all of whom should hate his guts pretty vigorously, or you have Camila, Eda, Lilith, Evalyn, Terra, Dora the Explorer or whatever her name was, and Odalia. That's a lot of names... Not a lot of characters. Half of those people are people most of the fandom overlook or just don't really have a character. Odalia loses ALL of the points I talked about here because PURE EVIL according to the fandom and then Lilith and Eda both have big reasons to despise him with every fiber of their being AND they also don't really have the right attitudes to lead to a redeemed Belos, not as a main draw. Camila is the only one with the right storm of traits to tell more sympathetic sides of Belos with.

And that's okay. There's compelling stories to be had there and that's what fanfiction is all about. It is fun to dissect what romance tropes and the like are at play in a given ship though like this, so thank you for that and see you next tale.

======+++++======

Funny enough: I don't think I've personally seen almost ANYTHING of this ship so all my analysis is just off the theoreticals I can see by my knowledge and instincts. Admittedly, I don't see a lot of TOH content in general nowadays.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[anonymous-archive]

lmao @ this reblog “calling me out” and then blocking me despite apparently beforehand nearly deciding not to quietly block & report me instead of that giant wall of useless text like… i honestly didn’t know how to react/respond initially other than “holy shit dude that’s crazy” and then laugh incredulously but here we go since i’m petty:

first, this is a burner blog i made a week ago maximum and it only has 5 posts (excluding this one) so i’m not sure what you think you’re accomplishing here since i could & would just make another one and repost it all again? i’m under the impression that what would actually happen is the original posts themselves as well as any reblogs get taken down rather than the overall blogs themselves, but if i’m wrong then see above lol.

second, my bad for trying to genuinely, helpfully inform you that unfortunately many others out there don’t have the capacity to realize that you are not an anti and/or won’t read the entire post before assuming. this in turn might hurt your own community since stolitz stans may want to protect themselves from even potentially reading something they consider hurtful and therefore not wasting time by risking it. in fact you just proved my point by reacting and attempting to keep yourself safe from, what, leaks that were hidden behind an active choice to click? i as an individual don’t care that you like that ship so i wasn’t here to harass you or whatever. i didn’t think anything of you for it, that’s not why i spoke up.

third, clearly some people don’t understand “don’t like, don’t engage/read/watch/etc.” especially if you already know the content will upset you! also this large & loud fandom has never learned to keep controversial things on the down-low and ignore it in order to avoid gaining too much attention and inadvertently advertising it to people who otherwise wouldn’t know, but what else can i expect when y’all worship your annoying lord and savior ayylmao? so congrats on opening up the chance for someone to stumble upon your unnecessarily massive post and wanting to take a peek! you can’t control your followers/lurkers so that would be hilarious!

by the way, if you somehow do end up finding what my other hellaverse-critical blog is then… okay that’s fine. it’s not very big and it’d be disappointing if attacked but not a big deal. like i said, it’s easy to move & remake. hate to tell the truth but you do not have the power you wish you had here.

[mysticalbugsblog]

A very long ramble about a silly object show-

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I'm curious, what do you all think Suitcase or Knife will use the money for? (if they win and get a prize)

I like to think that if Suitcase won she would open a therapy or a place where everyone can come together and talk about their problem or maybe a flower or an accessories shop, and she would run the flower shop together with balloon, tho that's just very unlikely to me but it's a fun idea :]

But idk maybe it could backfire because Suitcase has her own emotional baggage, so maybe multiple people will run the therapy center and not just her, maybe Goo, Clover, Tea Kettle, Lifering, and Candle could help her, or even Balloon will try to help her!

I feel like after everything they've been through all of the contestants deserve a place where they can talk about their feelings because I know they're not doing okay after all of those bullshit💀

Knife- I'm not so sure about him but I like to think that he would open a gym so that everyone can train there and improve themself! Or maybe open like a coffee shop or any sort of beverages- don't ask me why I'm not so sure myself, I don't have that much idea for Knife *sobs*, and if he does open a gym maybe Thropy, Blueberry, Yinyang, Baseball, Lifering (yes, Lifering fits with both of the places) and Silverspoon will become the gym inspector!!

Just like Suitcase, Knife's Gym can improve the contestant but physically, I feel like the contestants can start training to prepare for the next season (if there will be a 4th season💀) because back in all of the season the contestant doesn't really have a place to train themself to prepare for the challenges so it would be nice if they have a place to do that!

Or maybe Knife will finally embrace his interest and open a doll shop and make a ton of custom Dora dolls for everyone!!! /j

Honestly, it would be nice if Knife and Suitcase won together and split the million to build their places together, so far everyone who has won the season has made something that everyone can enjoy

Oj made a hotel as a shelter and a place to stay for the contestants (because they don't have a home or a family and the game is their only place---)

Cabby built a library where everyone could expand their knowledge and improve their critical thinking

Now imagine this- Suitcase builds a therapy center for the contestants to improve their mental health and Knife builds a Gym center for the contestants to improve their physical health- IT JUST MAKES SENSE!!

The winner of the season gave something back to the other contestant!!! Oj provides shelter, Cabby expands their knowledge, and Knife and Suitcase improves their mental health and physical health!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE HEAR ME OUT ON THIS😭🥲

Maybe it's just me thinking way too deeply on this but I just want the contestants to live happily after all of this, I just want them to be happy😭🥲

Anyway let me know what you think, I would love to discuss more about this! And thanks for reading!!

[the-french-laundry]

The Problem with Claire Bear (and how to fix it in S4 without making Clairmy endgame)

This critic is focusing on the writing and is not meant to be an attack against the actress in any way! Also this is my personal opinion.

I must confess, that i am relatively new to the fandom, but 'the Bear' has a chokehold on me for a couple of weeks now. The way it has so many different characters and tries to explore their personalities, their shortcomings, their problems and anxiety, hooked me from the start and i loved to see how they developed over the three Seasons, we have now. But then there's Claire. And she just doesn't work at all.

The number thing and Claire accepting anything

When she first appeared in the supermarket and had that talk with Carmen Berzatto, i couldn't shake off the feeling that this whole scene was very awkward and almost non-human. Of course, we know that Carmen can be socially awkward and seeing his old childhood friend, which he ghosted, is a weird situation for a lot of people. Given his own difficulties to deal with situations like that, it makes sense why he gave her a fake number. I know, she asked multiple times if it is okay, but the whole number thing is a clear sign that he is either avoiding contact, because he doesn't feel ready enough to deal with a past relationship or that, deep down, he doesn't actually want it and uses it as an excuse so that he doesn't have to say it out loud.

Seriously, if i would've been Claire, that would be a RED FLAG for me and i'd stop trying to force any contact. But the script wanted a romance, so it literally made Claire an all forgiving person. She just takes Carmen's bullshit and never truly questions it or tries to make him question those things. She always reassures him, that he's doing good and all, which is supportive and cute, but it doesn't help Carmy's broken personality in any way. It never questions, it never tackles his character to move past this. And in the end, it doesn't help Claire too because this relationship feels very one-sided. She's always there for him, tries to keep the contact, supports him, confesses her love first (even though if it was via voicemail), but Carmy isn't able to give it back to Claire in any form.

Claire got no personality

This is very obvious, but it needs to be said. The script gave Claire nothing to create an interesting or engaging personality. After i finished Season 3 i did a small recap in my head and all i could say about her is: She was Carmy's girlfriend and she is working as a doctor. That's all. And it made me bonkers somehow, because 'The Bear' has so many well-written female characters - Sydney, Tina, Natalie, Donna, Chef Terry. Even Jessica and Tiff, without having much screentime, had more developed character traits that made them stand out. But the script is not able to give Claire something that would make her more than just Carmy's forced relationship!? We rarely see, why she even has this crush on him - maybe due to their childhood friendship, any special moments they'd shared in the past before they met again at the supermarket? No, nothing and i think this is sad. Because with all that, Claire becomes a character, that can be easily written out of the script, without leaving a hole in the story.

Carmen would still have his New York David Fields trauma, mixed with the death of his brother Michael, he would still pressure himself. The rest could be easily explained through the dynamic he has with Sydney and the team - the fear of letting them down, of being not good enough, of not deserving happiness at all etc.

An environment of forcing it

Now it gets a little bit personal. When i was younger, i had a best friend, whom i really liked - but just as a friend. At one point however he started to have feelings for me and asked, if we shouldn't just try and see where it gets, which i didn't want out of fear that it might ruin our friendship. A lot of friends we both known at that time, told me multiple times that we would be such a great match, that he really cares for me and we would be cute together. It gaslighted me into the believe that, well... maybe i should just try. Also because i didn't want to disappoint my best friend. In the end, it was a mess and it ruined our friendship. But why am i telling this story? Because Carmy's and Claire's relationship kind of reminds me of that.

The people around Carmy are constantly talking about Claire, about her being a saint and that she is good for him, that they totally match and that he has a crush on her (e.g. in the conversation with Richie and Michael during the Christmas episode). Yet it never really feels like Carmen loves her deeply enough to make a long-term relationship work. He cares for her and likes her, that much is clear, but i feels forced, whenever they share moments together - not from Claire's side, but from Carmy's side. As if he always has to reassure himself, that he indeed loves Claire. And my theory about his flashbacks of their time together, is that it is more because of his own guilt. He never wanted to hurt Claire and he understands that what he said was deeply painful to her. Confessing that to himself is hard and an apology is needed. But i don't think it would be good if they straight up reset their whole relationship.

What can S4 do to save this mess?

The apology is a big thing that is in fact needed. To jump over his own shadow and to find piece for himself and for Claire, Carmen needs to apologize to her. By talking about what happen and recognizing how bad he'd treated her during the walk-in freezer incident, he also gives her the chance to close that case for herself, so that she doesn't think it was her own fault and therefore she can move on with her life. But it would also make sense that Carmen reflects if he really loves her as deep as he thought he would. In my opinion, the script didn't give us enough to undermine the argument that he does. So looking at that, it would be great to see how he confesses to her, how he'd always thought they were meant to be, but in the end his feelings were not enough for that to happen, that he got carried away by the expectations of those around him and his own anxiety. And maybe we learn, that Claire experienced something similar to that, realizing that they could've been great friends but weren't meant to be more.

Even though i don't like the character of Claire, given the fact that she is in the series now, it would only be fair to close her character arc with an apology and a wholesome conclusion for both her and Carmy before they part ways.

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Thanks for coming to my short TED Talk. Feel free to tell me your thoughts or add the things i might've missed.

[langfield]

Why ship langfield? Not judging, just curious.

there are many reasons! if it helps, i wasn’t expecting to ship them either … i was much more into amanda or gwen as romance options, or as people max could pine after. but i’ve realized pretty quickly after my first playthrough that my initial strong distaste of vinh was more so due to the lis fandom’s very, very old desire to make out every man in the first game as some stalker incel rather than anything concrete. and after replaying the first game only a couple days ago, i was only proven right -- warren, another one of max’s old love interest, recieved similar harsh treatment by fans for years. he became so weighed down by the fandom’s extremely unfavorable and biased view of him that it was almost shocking to see how he actually was in game. he wasn’t a pervert or an incel or even a stalker ( unlike, for example, eliot in bts ) … he was a boy who had a crush and was nothing but respectful to max about it, loyal to her even when he knew she didn’t care for him that way, and never asking for anything more. all of this is to say that max’s male love interests have always been treated like ‘creeps’ by default, due to a majority of the fandom wanting everyone else to prioritize their ship instead, a phenomenon which worked in pricefield’s favor for years and years. they pushed warren fans out, they killed that ship via falsehoods and criticism, and that’s just how things were.

once i started to warm up to vinh, which instinctively made me drop my old reservations towards male love interests for max, i realized pretty quickly this would not only be the highlight of the game for me, but also my otp of lis overall. for starters, i enjoy that he is very flawed and complicated! i like characters that aren’t easy to understand upon first viewing, ones that need some elbow grease to fully comprehend … and vinh lang is, in my opinion, someone who needs to be unraveled and exposed ; he’s a man whose initial ego and arrogance is nothing but a shield and a persona, a mask, and the real version of him is buried deep beneath those faux attitudes and expensive attire. lis wasn’t being subtle when they made vinh an actor, considering rachel’s whole thing was acting too : with the gist of her entire character being a variety of masks and costumes and airs. she is incomprehensible on the surface, almost incoherent in her actions, but one thing that’s crystal clear to the player is that she is a girl who’s deeply in pain, and is wary of exposing said wounds and hurt to others for valid reasons. while rachel and vinh don’t have many parallels, they do share the ‘star dazzling actor’ thing, and thus … vinh lang, president of the abraxas secret society and administrative assistant to yasmin, is hardly a real person at all. he is a concept, mostly. something the undergrads can worship and some sort of otherworldy keeper of secrets -- his ‘mysterious’ side is a purposefully constructed wall that keeps people out, much like safi and ( at this point in her life ) max herself. besides his association with his own secret club, vinh isn’t really close to anybody anymore. i doubt it’s common knowledge that vinh came from nothing and had to work his way through an impoverished future, that his parents own a liquor store he was potentially doomed to slave away at despite graduating from caledon. and even more importantly, not many people seem to know that he was some follower of maya’s and safi’s dynamic ; described literally as a lost puppy following them around, directionless and perhaps smitten. hell, if you told anyone that vinh kept photos of safi in his phone and slept with her once or twice, they’d think you’re crazy. vinh lang isn’t known for being sentimental or particularly attached to anything except his arcane and mystery, much less genuinely caring for other people … his love for others is easily given away and taken back, with many of the abraxas kids ( including reggie, to a degree ) going back and forth on whether he loves them, or if they hate him, or if it’s all the above. his personhood is lost in translation, misconstrued, everything he posts or does detached in some manner. and i find that fascinating!

( my partner said that they don’t think vinh has ever outgrown his otherness, that he still feels like he doesn’t belong at caledon naturally, so he keeps up an act at all times to seem as though it’s his natural habitat instead -- like he rules it effortlessly, without doubt or insecurity, as if it’s always been his playground and not some scary, foreign planet. and i think this is very apt for his character )

amanda is endearing in her own way too, of course! even when she lost my favor in the romance department, i still found myself enjoying her company and wanting her around. but … she is a bit too healthy for me, honestly. is too put together and seems to be following life via her therapist’s advice at all times. it’s not bad, per se, but it isn’t up my alley! while i deeply respect amanda for putting her and max on ice twice, for knowing that was the right call to make for her own comfort, i also think it’s a bit unfair too. i don’t think i want max to be stuck waiting around for someone while crushed by the knowledge that her powers are a problem, especially when this can already prove to be an issue with chloe as well. it’s sort of a tender, bruised baggage piece already ; she has never loved her power nor has made proper peace with it, always viewing it as a curse or something she must accept for a greater good, it has killed her most cherished loved one or has leveled an entire town full of poor souls, and it is undeniably frightening, even to max. she is sort of insecure about it, a little uneasy, as is safi, and even alex from true colors. they are not proud of it! safi’s delusion towards the end of the game sounds like someone who so desperately wants to believe their powers are something other than destructive and life ruining … and max laments multiple times about how hers has only caused her heartbreak and death. while it’s understandable that amanda needs space to think on it, i also believe max deserves to be accepted readily and without thought. this isn’t exactly easy for her either, and i think amanda has been taught to always prioritize herself over other people … a fair lesson to carry, certainly, but this leaves max aching and unsure in turn. i don’t want her to be responsible for winning amanda back! i do not think she should have to, when she’s still fragile and vulnerable herself ; having been flayed open by safi and previous triggers, spending most of the storm trapped within her own personal hell, brought down again and again, without help or assistance. i usually go with a max who sacrifices chloe too, which adds to this profound sense of loneliness ghosting over her like a kiss she never got. as someone who loves her dearly, i want max caulfield to have someone who sees her power and doesn’t shy away from it, who embraces it, and every jagged, ugly piece of her too. who doesn’t care about the mess at her feet. who would help her clean it up, their own issues be damned. but also someone who wouldn’t abuse it or try to control it, or even really ask for something from max power-wise.

vinh lang, in my eyes, is that kind of person. him writing that post on crosstalk about how max saved him and how badly he hopes she keeps him around … the way he so eagerly hugs her in the aftermath, without one doubt in his mind, after missing her wholeheartedly ever since they parted ways -- after he sends her text after text, scared, nudging her gently, wanting her assurance and quietly exposing every raw nerve in the meantime, something that we know is very hard for him to do … and he doesn’t say anything about their kiss, nor does he admit his hopes out loud ( perhaps frightened to do so, when he’s clung to things that didn’t want him before ), but he cheekily comments on new horizons while staring at her fondly, full to the brim with yearning. looked at max when she told him to focus on the present as if she was his answer to that. he clings to her! and max notoriously loves clingy people, i mean, look at chloe and warren. everything between vinh and max is passionate but light, breezy, something fun and uplifting yet still earnest. it is not some burdensome weight they are crumbling under, or some poisonous addiction that has them coming back for seconds, because they can’t imagine anything else -- don’t know anything else outside of that good-awful feeling. i like when my ships are intense but emotionally healing, if that makes sense? i don’t want them to hurt each other, and i don’t think they will ; or, if they do, i believe vinh and max could smooth it over, fix it, would want to, which is new for vinh ( because safi never cared about him ) and max ( who’s too used to being the one fixing everything and anything, with barely anyone returning that favor ). plus, on a more lighthearted and stupid note, their scenes are absolutely choked with tension. vinh isn’t making shit up when he says they have barely contained sexual chemistry, honestly! their smash or pass scene had me giggling, kicking my feet, and twirling my hair because it was so shockingly good. i haven’t had a scene do that to me in a long time, so i’m more than a little charmed by these two because of it. who doesn’t want max to have a man who would bow to her if she told him to? or, in this case, a man who would cradle her hands so lovingly between his and ask so desperately if she really has to go, if she has to leave him, the unspoken please stay haunting the sudden chasm of space between them. but, unlike chloe, vinh isn’t angry when max does things he doesn’t like, and will let her go without much fuss. i like that! he will sulk, sure, but max isn’t punished or reminded of her many failings.

there is many more things to discuss, many more reasons why i ship them, why their dynamic works and why it entrances me, but i’ll leave it here for now. i’m still figuring them out myself, after all. though i’ll link this ramble i did here, as a fun little aside. enjoy! and thanks so much for the chance to gush about these two, even if just for a little bit.

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[isthatacalzone]

me: *seeing people yell about how they did Glintshore & Percy's death in the show*

also me: ..................anyway

[psychomusic]

oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)

she is suri sauthon. her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, tar'x, but most of her life except for the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.

despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.

note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]

originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.

this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.

BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).

later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.

years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)

[redysetdare]

Some of you will see a character that is actively repulsed by romance/sex and heavily non-partner coded (sometimes they even actively just say that they do not want a relationship!) and y'all will still respond with "But aros/aces can still date and have sex!!" like okay bud it'd be so much easier for you to say you don't respect repulsed and non-partnering aros and aces. stop beating around the bush trying to pretend to be oh so supportive when you obviously feel uncomfortable about our existence even in fiction.