#and it was impossible to legally change your gender'

[that-satireguy]

'You're a child you didn't live through the ages of REAL transphobia like us. Thats why you became a tmra!'

The trans kid in question, who is from the global south.

[communistkenobi]

They put Tayy Dior’s name in quotes as if that was a fun little nickname her friends called her. It places emphasis on the fact that her name is ‘unofficial,’ and given that legal name changes in places like the US can be expensive, difficult & time consuming, the ‘unofficial’ nature of transgender peoples’ names is commonplace. Using deadnames of trans people in media reports is an endorsement of the difficult nature of this process.

It also highlights the absurdity of appealing to ‘official’ legal records of name and gender marker - which official records? even when you go through a legal name change process, it’s not a single application that changes it everywhere. At least in my experience in Canada, and I believe this is the case in other federated states, you have to separately change your photo ID(s), your birth certificate, your federal/national records, your tax records, your employment and tenant records, your bank records, your billing records, and so on. These are all separate applications/appointments. And legal name and gender marker are separate applications. I had to essentially obtain a set of permission slips from a provincial office that allowed me to change my name and gender marker on municipal, provincial, and federal records. There isn’t one single ‘official’ record that informs all other records of your ‘real’ name and gender marker, it is a collection of diffused departments & offices that do not communicate with one another and must be altered one at a time by the individual themselves. In many cases, states retain a record of your original name and gender marker even after applying for a change, meaning it is literally impossible to ever fully change your name and gender everywhere, administratively speaking.

So, which record is the ‘official’ record for trans people? Cis people treat ‘official’ records of legal names and gender markers as if they are uniform, centralised, and coherent in order to contrast the ‘unofficial’ nature of a trans person’s “preferred” name and pronouns, to highlight the fundamental fraudulence of our lives that go against the rational objective nature of the state, but there is in many states no single official record, for trans and non-trans people alike. That is because when cis people insist on calling trans people by their deadnames and ungender them, they are not actually referring to official records - as official records can conflict, and there is no agreement on which single record is the authoritative one - but are instead treating sex and name assignment at birth as if it is sacrosanct. This first ritual of naming, of gendering, and of recording the results of this ritual is the actual ‘official record’ they are referring to, a ritual that can never be altered or forsaken.

Tayy Dior’s name is not a nickname, it is not a quotation to insert into her “real” “official” deadname, it is not a preference. It is her name, and the media - even “trans inclusive” media - is making sure that it is, at best, the second thing they call her as they gleefully report on her violent murder

[tra-archive]

THEY STILL EXIST. Holy shit. You can’t be this dumb, I refuse to believe it. Trans people are all in the comments claiming they’re being genocided because of this, meanwhile there are several actual genocides going on in the world right now. The privilege is insane.

Changing the sex on your birth certificate and driver’s license should’ve never been allowed in the first place. Sex and gender are not the same thing. It’s impossible to change your sex.

You can still call yourself bugself or it/its or whatever dumb neos you want to use. But you cannot change the fact that you were either born male or female, and your legal documents should reflect that in case of medical emergencies and other things.

Trump has done a lot of dumb shit and I’m sure he’ll do more, but this is not the one to be mad about. You don’t poof out of existence because an executive order said there’s only male and female.

[drdemonprince]

not to be bleak but is there any hope for those of us still early in transition (no updated papers, dont pass in a way that would make things safer)

things just feel kind of impossible

I understand that things feel absolutely hopeless right now, but you just got to give your hormones the time to work. Keep at it. A number of really subtle yet accumulating changes kick in after a year, or even after two or three. You might feel that you aren't making any visible progress for ages, and then suddenly something imperceptible to you shifts and suddenly people are gendering you correctly without you having to stress so much about it. Over that course of time, you will figure out how you like to style yourself and what ways of moving your body and relating to others feel better for you, too. These small personal changes build up to a really significant improvement in one's quality of life, even if you never pass as a cisgender person of your gender. Once some time passes and you settle into yourself more, you'll be able to enjoy a lot of the social freedoms that come from being yourself, even under circumstances of state repression -- there are relatively few interactions in life that require the showing of legal ID, and you will very much get acclimated to living life as your gender, entering into bathrooms and locker rooms, being viewed as your gender by strangers on the bus, and being able to walk down the street feeling okay and mostly unremarkable. Trans people have lived under circumstances like these before, and it is thanks to them that you and I get to transition in a world where at least a few people are a lot more enlightened about us. Find other trans and queer people. Hold your loved ones close. Ask for trusted loved ones to stand by your side when you move through spaces where it all feels especially precarious and scary. Buy some DIY hrt off India Mart or some similar website and stockpile them. Share some spare doses with people in your community. Go to a trans clothing swap. Gather together in your home, or at someone else's. There is so much of life that happens undocumented by the government and unapproved of. You can be who you are for as long as you exist. The alternative is to allow the state to kill your chance at being you right now. You don't have to give them that. And you don't have to confront them directly either. You can continue to live. You know the truth of you, and there are many of us out there who know it too. Don't give up on yourself.

[astriiformes]

Looking for a better, non-paywalled news article to share, but apparently a judge has ruled that Arizona's policy of requiring gender reassignnment surgery in order to change your birth certificate to be unconstitutional.

I'm impossibly relieved. I may not live in Arizona anymore, but it's a law that's affected me, and I've been watching my birth state with some hope as it's grown steadily bluer over the past few years. This is still sooner than I would have expected something like this though.

Like, I could actually have all my legal documents match sometime in the not-too-distant future (maybe even as soon as next year?). And I'm so happy for everyone still living in the state, too, because seeing progress like this has to be incredibly meaningful. What a relief.

[thecloudcrusade]

I'm not quiet about being trans and participating in the fight for trans rights, so let's talk about college.

Being trans, especially non binary, can actually make it harder to get into college. Some schools genuinely don't recognize non binary as an existing gender and will simply deny the student instead of considering how they should improve their systems. Along with that, single-sex or religious schools especially express that they do not want queer/trans students attending, and I've even personally seen schools that actively denounce or oppose being queer as a whole. This makes it significantly harder for the members of the community who are religious to continue their faith in a religious school.

Even if a trans person does get accepted, safety becomes an issue. According to UCLA's website, in a survey of over 27,000 trans adults, 24% said they were harassed, be it verbally, physically, or sexually. That is horrifying. That is over 6,480 people. These people also face high rates of bullying, even from teachers, who are meant to be authority figures and role models.

Let's add to this lovely stew with debt. It's no secret that college is expensive, that's its own problem. On top of that, though, many trans people have to deal with lack of funding from family that may have disowned them, or the worry that they won't be able to afford HRT or surgery in the future to help alleviate dysphoria. That shouldn't have to be a luxury.

But wait, there's more! According to Lambda Legal, many schools don't acknowledge a student's preferred gender identity. They will be placed in the dorms assigned with their sex from birth, made to use locker rooms they aren't comfortable in, and required to use the restroom assigned to their gender at birth. They make it difficult and sometimes impossible to change your gender on your student ID and in their systems, and some don't even use preferred names, leading to deadnaming from teachers and staff, and by extension, fellow students.

Now, of course, things are better than they used to be. But settling for better never made any progress. Think of it like baking. Your first cookies came out way too salty, so you halved the amount you put in. They're less salty now, sure, but it's still too much salt. Don't settle for 'less salty', keep improving your recipe. We shouldn't have to settle for "at least we have more rights than we did in the 50s". Of course we do. We have better medicine, better women's rights, and better computers too! We shouldn't just settle though. We should keep fighting, we should make it so people in the future can look back and say "we're doing much better than how we were doing in the 2020s". Don't just give up because things are "better".

[racefortheironthrone]

fantasy sometimes doesn't afford itself the ability to fantasize about a better world with many of the same problems of real life. thankfully ive found fantasy thatfantasize about things like gender roles, orientations, social status, etc. being more accepting, and the world kinder more often than not. question is, as hard as it is to find solid urban fantasy, are there anyworks you know of that use itself to imagine a optimal city for us urban nerds? magic public works, free dragon transit?

So there is a real problem in the fantasy and sci-fi genres that they often have a failure of revolutionary imagination, as I’ve termed it. We’re so used to not just the world as it is but also the public historical imagination of how change happens, that even in art that’s supposed to be about radically reimagining our world or new worlds, we often revert back to the familiar. (I find this tic particularly annoying in alternate history, which is supposed to be about imagining how the world could have evolved differently, but often reverts back to a retelling of (often bad) history with the numbers filed off.)

(A sadly rare counter-example.)

You raise a fascinating question about the potential for urbanist fantasy. This is often quite rare in urban fantasy, because often out of a desire to maintain the verisimilitude of urban life, they default to a masquerade scenario which renders it impossible to explore the impact of magic on transit, housing, and other aspects of urbanism because the central conceit is that people with magic are trying to hide and thus have no impact on the mundane world.

However, it does crop up sometimes in Magitech settings, because their central conceit is all about how magic would function in place of science and lead to new ways of organizing societies, urban and otherwise. For a popular example, look at how Arcane examines the social impacts of Hextech and Shimmer. My personal favorite example of urbanist fantasy is the plane of Ravnica from Magic the Gathering.

Ravnica is a ecumenopolis, a city-state that covers the whole planet. The city is governed by a guild council, each of whom are responsible for an aspect of the city’s physical and social infrastructure:

The Azorius Senate is responsible for running the courts and the legal system, and sometimes they run the police as well (although they have a jurisdictional dispute with the Boros Legion on that front).

House Dimir are couriers, messengers, journalists, private investigators, spies, assassins, thieves, and librarians, as well as the city’s clandestine intelligence service - if it deals with information in any way, the Dimir have a hand in it…or do they?

The Cult of Rakdos run the city’s entertainment, food service, retail, and labor recruitment (lots of shanghaing and press ganging goes on in Ravnica) - and they’re also a crazed juggalo bdsm blood cult who are responsible for keeping an ancient arch-demon entertained so he doesn’t try to destroy the city, again.

The Gruul Clans are an anarchist collective responsible for the planet’s wilderness areas, which they try to maximize by violent raids that tear down developed areas any chance they get - which also makes them Ravnica’s main demolition industry. The Boros Legion spends a lot of time defending built-up areas from Gruul rampages.

The Selesnya Conclave are a hippie nature cult commune who manage the city’s parks and other green spaces, as well as providing basic welfare services (food, “shelter,” clothing, etc.) to the city’s poor. They also use magic to do weird hivemind brainwashing in the name of harmony and unity, and they can raise giant Ent-Kaiju to defend the city in times of need.

The Orzhov Syndicate are a vampire banker mafia, and also one of the city’s biggest religions. They believe in debt on a spiritual level, and their religion fully embraces indulgences to their logical conclusion. The Orzhov preach that you can literally buy your way into heaven, and that debts to the (Catholic by way of Prosperity Gospel Evangelical) Church or its many front organizations and legitimate businesses will carry over into the next life; the Orzhov practice debt slavery on both living people and ghosts. And lest you think it’s all a cover for profit-making, they can summon dark angels to conduct rituals, lead services, and make war on their enemies. Something above is answering their prayers…

My personal favorite is the Izzet League, an institute of mad scientists and engineers and elementalist wizards who combine science and magic to research, build, and maintain the city’s infrastructure (as well as funding all tech R&D and theoretical and experimental research in physics, chemistry, and engineering) - the power grid, water and sewer systems, heating and gas lines, as well as the city’s mass transit and transportation/freight system, are all powered by their steam and fire and lightning and Magitech gadgets and robots and cyborgs made out of a magic metal named mizzium. Yes, a lot of their devices explode, and yes their golems and robots and elementals have a tendency to go rogue, but that’s the price of progress!

The Golgari Swarm are a subterranean necromantic cabal who run the city’s waste disposal, burial services, and do the bulk of the agricultural production for Ravnica’s hungry masses. All of Ravnica’s citizens are entitled to a food dole provided by the Golgari’s fungi farms as a form of basic income. Just don’t think too hard about what went into the compost heaps or what your rations might be made of…

The Boros Legion is Ravnica’s main police and military, led by a literal host of warrior angels. Imagine the combination of a police force entirely made up of noir detectives and loose cannon Dirty Harry-esque cops and an army with flying fortresses led by fiery angels who are all deeply dramatic lesbians. True believers one and all, the Boros are here to mete out justice and divine wroth upon evildoers wherever they hide. If they had their way, the Orzhov would all be in prison along with the Gruul and the Rakdos, but the damn bureaucrats in the Azorius Senate keep trying them up in knots with paperwork.

The Simic Combine are responsible for the city’s environmental quality, ensuring biodiversity and sustainability in a global metropolis; they are also the city’s universal health care providers. All Ravnicans have access to free health care, as long as they consent to the Combine’s biomantic research. See, the Simic are the other group of mad scientists/mages in the city, except they went into genetics, environmental science, and (marine) biology and they believe in individual and societal evolution through the use of augmentation, cloning, and splicing. After all, why stop at curing someone’s respiratory illness when you could also give them gills? Or giant crab claws? Or tentacles?

I love the world-building and the attention to urban systems and infrastructure in Ravnica. More than most, they’ve thought about what urban life needs to function and made it magical.

[azlia-iconoclast]

All that is confirmed will be modified:

the abortion ban that already exist to state level and killed teens on texas because they got denied even in a SA situationa will now be nationwide

ending any chance to integrate minorities and just letting the hate and discrimination run rampant again without institutions to keep watch

allowing states to ban diverse number of Healthcare treatments and medications which go from gender hormones to the morning after pills

tariffs are gonna have backlash and cause countertarrifs ending many of our trade deals and evaluating the dollars

the billionares that backed trump like the ultraconservative Timothy mellon, the heritage foundation with the hyper religious agaenda or elon musk that is obsessed with hating public transport and trans people are going to have free reign to do as they please.

the ending of several institution and more privatization which includes less education subsidies for poor families, help for disabled people, subsidies for Healthcare, the weather system and report, the department of education shrinking and allowing old religious policies, the watch for the compliance of the civil rights act is going to disappear , the department of health is also going to shirk, the watch for compliance for climate change is going to disappear the DEI, EPA, and the ACA will be erased with many more, just to name the ones that are going to affect directly the most

as consequence of the mentioned institutions disappearing hate speech will basically be legal again affecting the culture and the amount of religious propaganda, discrimination while hiring and helping disable people get a job will be legally impossible

completing the genocide in gaza and continuing funding Israel expansion into Lebanon not to mention he's dividing Ukraine in 2 with a neutral zone which will cause a second bigger war because nobody is going to be conformed with that.

the peace attempts that were happening with china over Taiwan and Hong kong are now going to be closed leaving war as only option for the long future

The SCOTUS will now have 5 of 9 Supreme Court LIFETIME seats filled by Trump and the damage will be generational given the justices are young for the lifelong position and all 5 are part of the Christian nationals. Any attempt to undo what trump is going to damage with his policies will be blocked by their majority specially the medical bans and the freedom corporations will now have, so not only our full generation will suffer trump legacy but your kids and their kids

when trump took the confidential documents boxes to mar a lago when he lost last election it made him look to NATO and the 5 eyes intelligence institution (fuck them both hypocrite imperialists) complain for the security risk which means the allies will not want to share intel with the us now that he's back forcing America to have the old interventionist spionage role to get it's own, which will increase world tensions.

whether people voted for trump to punish dems not fulfilling their promises or being part of such mentioned genocides, because they hate the lgbtq and DEI or they really want to go back to the dark ages culturally and socially with christian nationalism ideology, all of them just shot themselves and everyone kids future.

Adieu à jamais Amérique, je croyais que tu changeais mais ceci est ton cœur et ton vrai visage, je pensais vivre ici plus d'un siècle et t'aider à te transformer, mais il est clair que tu choisis la Cruauté. J'ai de toute façon un dernier coup à tirer, si cela se brise au moins je mourrai enfin avant que tu ne commences ton interventionnisme mondial comme dans les années 50 encore.

[wasted-my-time]

I had a quick chat on the phone with my mom about Trump and shit and it went like that and I'm a bit pissed:

Me: Oh have you seen, he just released an executive order imposing all federal documentation to be about sex and not gender, rendering impossible to change your legal sex or whatever it is called in English.

Her: Yeah but it's because people have pushed too far and now there's a backlash.

Me (knowing where this is going): Could you elaborate?

Her: Trans women in women's sports, prisons, etc. (I don't remember exactly, but I mean, y'all know the drill)

And I stayed relatively silent because it's my mother goddamnit and I don't know exactly why I'm mad and I don't feel like arguing on the phone.

But now I know why I'm angry.

I just thought of the Nex Benedict case from last year, and what Oklahoma's (republican) governor had to say about it: “We are a Republican state – supermajority – in the House and Senate. I represent a constituency that doesn’t want that filth in Oklahoma,” He said that after a sixteen year old kid was practically beaten to death by their peers, after god knows how long of being bullied, after they were forced to use the women's bathroom by his policy.

Republican lawmakers don't give a fuck about women's safety, and saying whatever the fuck they are deciding is some backlash from previously too permissive policies is an insult to our intelligence.

And that is what makes me angry, that, and the fact that I'll never have the guts to tell my mother about all of this.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Erin Reed at Erin In The Morning:

In the wake of Donald Trump’s election as president, transgender people are left wondering what lies ahead. For this vulnerable community, a Trump administration signals potential disaster: the candidate just won his election after $215 million in anti-trans ads targeting this small minority—a staggering amount that eclipsed spending on other issue-based ads. Now, transgender individuals are searching for ways to protect themselves under a federal government that may view them as top “enemies from within,” a term Trump has used to describe those on the left. I spoke with experts in transgender care and dozens of transgender individuals to identify steps the community can take now to prepare for a Trump presidency. Trump has pledged numerous actions against transgender people, from investigating educators to banning gender-affirming care for youth and ending legal recognition for transgender individuals. While some of these measures may take time to implement, others could happen swiftly. For instance, the upcoming December budget negotiations are likely to include anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ+ amendments, which Democrats may accept to avoid a government shutdown. For transgender people and their supporters, being prepared is essential. Here are practical steps the community should consider in the coming weeks to safeguard themselves against these anticipated challenges.

Obtaining or updating your passport. Obtaining a federal passport is a crucial step for transgender individuals, as it serves as a valid ID in most places and is necessary for international travel. Passports also let you change your gender marker via a simple selection checkbox, making the process of having your official gender marker hassle-free. This last point is especially important—anticipated federal crackdowns could soon make it impossible to update your gender marker on federal documents and might even affect state IDs. Passports are valid for ten years, and some states allow you to align your gender marker with the one on your passport, making this action essential, even if you don’t plan to travel internationally. And should the need for travel arise, you’ll be grateful you took this precaution.

Many transgender people I’ve spoken to have already begun this process. One family, hoping to secure a passport before federal rules change, opted for the expedited service. Ellie, the mother of a transgender teen, shared, “I’m determined to keep my son safe and alive, and we will do everything humanly possible to make that happen.” She noted that they are researching options for moving internationally if gender-affirming care is banned federally, with Spain as their top choice. For transgender individuals, expedited passports are an important consideration to ensure they receive their documents before Trump’s inauguration. Although they cost a bit more, expedited passports are processed much faster. Some observed a rise in the number of LGBTQ+ people seeking passports in the election’s immediate aftermath. Andromeda, a transgender woman, noted, “At the post office, there were five people in line for passports. Four of us were trans.” She described the atmosphere as “very sullen,” adding, “We were all very nervous but being very strong about it.”

Updating state documents and IDs. This step is crucial, as transgender people will need as many documents as possible that reflect their correct gender marker to navigate potential laws and regulations targeting them. Although most anti-trans laws specify that legal recognition of sex must align with the sex recorded at or near birth, enforcing these provisions is often challenging. In practice, having licenses and IDs that display an accurate gender marker can help transgender individuals avoid negative interactions and even defuse tense situations with officials. Additionally, obtaining such documentation may become more difficult in the future—Trump could, for instance, leverage laws like the Real ID Act to push for bans on correct gender markers on driver’s licenses. Many transgender individuals have started this process quickly, anticipating that their opportunity to do so may soon disappear. One such person in South Dakota, Cole, shared, “I need to get my name and marker officially changed before I am barred from the chance.” In South Dakota, the process is particularly onerous, requiring a court order or a signed affidavit from a physician. Cole is concerned that completing it may become impossible once Trump takes office.

Maintaining a supply of medication. Some individuals are taking steps to secure their access to gender-affirming medications, though this approach carries potential legal challenges. The Trump administration has indicated plans to sue pharmaceutical companies providing gender-affirming care, making medication access disruption a real possibility. Additionally, federal funding bans, threats, and investigations could further complicate access. States like California have announced intentions to enact laws protecting LGBTQ+ individuals from such federal actions. For individuals, practical methods to maintain a medication supply include underdosing to build an emergency reserve, working with a physician willing to prescribe extra medication, or obtaining hormones through online sources, though it is important to note that these steps are not without legal or personal risks.

[...]

Make decisions around staying or going “stealth.” A recurring topic in discussions about preparing for a Trump administration is the role that going or staying “stealth” may play in ensuring safety. For transgender individuals, “stealth” refers to living in one’s gender identity without disclosing that one is transgender. For many, this involves extra attention to makeup and voice training to pass as cisgender and blend in. For transgender youth, it often means not informing school officials about their gender identity. Such steps may become critical, as schools could feel pressured by the Trump administration to enforce restrictions on trans youth, even in blue states. For trans adults, staying stealth could also offer a measure of safety in the face of increasingly common bathroom regulations. Many transgender people I spoke with had mixed feelings about going “stealth” under a Trump administration. Some have concluded that it’s the safest option for them, while others have chosen to remain visible, believing that visibility will be essential in the fight for transgender rights. Still others feel that stealth simply isn’t an option for them.

Relying on local community allies. One essential action transgender people and allies can take is to support community organizations, legal funds, and other resources. Historically, when restrictive laws have targeted the LGBTQ+ community, it has been crucial to connect with groups of LGBTQ+ individuals who can provide mutual support and safety. When choosing organizations to support, state and local groups are particularly valuable, as they offer the most current information on relevant laws and can advise on the best ways to address new challenges under a Trump administration. These organizations are also well-positioned to navigate the specific legal processes and advocacy opportunities within local communities.

Erin Reed has a handy guide for trans people to prepare for the coming Trump Regime crackdowns on trans rights and trans existence.

See Also:

The Advocate: 7 steps for transgender people preparing for federal crackdowns under Trump

[mallloryrowinski]

I know this has been said already, but I'll say it again regardless: the normalization and blind acceptance of transgender ideology for what it has become—where identity is seen as fluid and anyone can claim any gender, with immediate access to spaces previously defined by biological sex—raises questions about the boundaries of identity itself and will inevitably open the door for the normalization of other types of "trans" discourse, such as being "transracial" (or worse, because yes, it can get even worse).

When we normalize the idea that you can be born in the wrong body, which is somehow incompatible with your soul, we set a precedent for identity to be based entirely on subjective feelings rather than biological reality. This concept could easily extend beyond gender to race. If we accept that feeling like the opposite sex is enough to change one's social or legal identity, then by that same logic, someone could claim to identify as a different race based on how they feel.

Let’s also note that many transgender women claim to be no different from women because they’re "submissive, like pink, enjoy wearing dresses, like doing makeup, enjoy doing housework," and many other harmful misogynistic stereotypes. So, it would be absolutely unsurprising if we started seeing people identifying as Black based on harmful racial stereotypes that we’ve been fighting so hard to eradicate. Just as transgender ideology sometimes perpetuates stereotypes about women by associating femininity with submission or appearance, it’s not far-fetched to imagine someone claiming to be Black based on superficial or racist ideas about what it means to be part of that community—such as liking rap music, wearing certain styles of clothing, or embracing other cultural markers that are reductive and damaging.

I’ve seen people argue that it's not the same thing because culture is something that's learned, and whatnot. But Black people don’t suffer racism because of the culture they’ve been brought up in. Just like young girls under the Taliban rule right now aren't banned from schools because they "identify as female."

This poses serious issues for the rights and protections of people of color. Lived experiences of oppression, discrimination, and cultural heritage are tied to their biological realities. If someone who has not experienced those realities can claim to be part of that group based purely on self-identification, it risks undermining the significance of both racial and gender identities. Worse, it trivializes the very real social, political, and historical impacts of race (just as it has already done for sex).

And to those who say, “That’s impossible; race is fixed,” I would point out that biological sex is fixed too—yet here we are.

[ink-flavored]

HI IM HERE ITS GO TIME FOR SPACE CRUISE WIP LEGGOOOO!!!!!

📅🤔✊😎👾😲

it's TIME!!!!

since this wip is such a baby i'm going to be thinking about a lot of these things for the first time let's do it

📅 How far in the future is your WIP set? Is it a “near” or “distant” future?

It is quite a distant future! It takes place 400-ish years from our present day—we aren't quite ancient history, but it's long enough ago that people don't really consider the 21st century in their daily lives. You learn about it in school and then promptly forget it all

🤔What kind of technology is still being developed in your WIP? What’s something they’re still trying to figure out?

The brain is a fickle little meat sack, and there is no "true" mental hook-up microchip or anything like that. The things you can do to the outside of your body are very impressive, and medical technology has improved a lot of technologies that are inside your body for medical purposes (like pacemakers and stuff), but you can't send/receive text messages with your mind. yet!

✊What is the social climate of your setting? Has society progressed towards equality or regressed? Has it stayed mostly the same?

Progressed in some ways, languished in others.

Since the entire concept of Space Colonialism relies on the idea that planets are big blank slates waiting for Civilization to extract resources and set up tourist traps or whatever, there is still a lot of class disparity and plenty of wealth disparity. Countries and companies can send a "pre-colony" of laborers to terraform a planet and then essentially evict them from the place(s) they built to sell the land to permanent residents. None of the money from that sale touches the pockets of the people who built it, of course, and Space Wage Theft is rampant among these operations.

And of course since colonialism inherently needs to "other" anyone or anything that was already living in the place it colonizes, that also happens quite a bit. Especially when humanity made first contact with aliens who were doing their own space colonialism.

Also Space Cops exist. There are space cops who do predictable cop things. Also robocops (they're not sapient or anything, it's basically a surveillance camera roomba that can call for back-up) are wandering around at most, if not all, space stations, and even some spaceships if you're very important or rich.

Depending on how I structure the rest of the history on the Humans Get To Space Timeline, I will probably be able to add quite a few more to this unfortunate list, but now the good stuff.

Gender is DEAD, being gay is ALIVE, and polyamory is THRIVING!!! Obviously, this varies from planet to planet and country to country, but in the story I'll be telling, it is the case that all of these things are fine and accepted.

Gender first: HRT is so advanced that it can get you all the results in under a year, depending on the dose/method of delivery, and you can get it at any pharmacy. People can transition for a couple years, detransition just as easily, and then switch back! Whatever!

Surgeries are much easier to perform and produce more consistent results across the board, and we ARE at the stage where things like uterus transplants are a thing—either from another person or from a lab-grown organ. They aren't as "versatile" as HRT, in that you can't get your junk swapped in a single day and swap it back the next, but it's easier to customize the results.

Socially, the ease with which transition can occur means that people are more relaxed about the fact that it happens. Especially because it's so easy, it's kind of impossible to ever predict if someone you're talking to is trans unless they tell you (like in real life too but you get it), so everyone is encouraged to just roll with whatever presentation and pronoun combination they're handed by someone. Space bureaucracy means it can be kind of annoying to change your legal name, but there's no such thing as a "legal sex" or "legal gender" anymore, you put your pronouns on your ID instead.

Sexuality next: when people can bang aliens, being gay doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Whether or not banging aliens is in the cards for any given person, experimenting with whoever is normalized. If it turns you gay, people just go "yeah, that'll happen," and move on. Not having any particular label is unremarkable too, because when aliens are in the picture, it's just a lot easier to have a "case by case" sexuality. Humans who exclusively (or almost exclusively) bang other humans do tend to stick with human labels for sexuality for communication's sake.

Polyamory: What with all the experimentation with gender and sexuality, it would be foolish for relationships not to get their own turn in the lab. There are a lot of ways relationships just... work differently, when it comes to existing across the vast distance of space. If you travel a lot, if you're constantly going between the planet and the space station, if you split your life between two different planets, having an open or polyamorous relationship—or to never settle down for a long-term relationship at all—just makes sense for a lot of people. Monogamy still exists, but it's not considered the default state for all relationships ever.

Even with faster-than-light travel, trips through space can take a LONG time, and people can form a lot of really close relationships on those trips. When they inevitably have to leave the ship and go their separate ways, some people stay connected. It's more or less accepted that basically everyone has a "spaceship-ship", either exclusive to that trip or lasting far beyond it. This is foreshadowing for later.

Also, marriage isn't limited to two people anymore. Some people even have a partner on Planet 1 and another on Planet 2, and they're only married on those planets.

And again, when I have better fleshed out this world, I'll have more for the good stuff too.

😎Are there any famous (or infamous) planets known for a particular cultural or material export? What is it? Are the planet’s residents annoyed or proud of this notoriety?

Our protagonist Kavi comes from a Famous Planet (that doesn't have a name, I'm working on it), and they are personally extremely annoyed when it's the first thing people bring up.

Kavi's planet is known as the Pleasure Planet, it's where you go if you want a vacation on a tropical beach, perfect weather year-round, and sex. A lot of sex, from all the not just "legal" sex work, but privatized sex work with franchised brothels. It is the place you go to pay someone to match your freak, and while the population is mostly human, aliens live, visit, and work there too.

The particular area where this tourist hotbed is located is in a single city-state on the other side of the continent where Kavi was born and raised, but nobody really knows, cares, or would want to visit those other places (the ocean geysers can be deadly there), so they are resigned to sighing heavily every time they bring up where they're from. People also tend to assume that people from the Pleasure Planet are just as ready to put out as someone who's getting paid for it, which they also hate.

Outside of Kavi, it's a mixed bag. The people from the Pleasure City can be very proud of their culture's sexual freedom of expression, annoyed at the constant influx of tourists all over the place, or actively hostile toward not just the tourism, but the concept of the city itself. It's a lot less rosy than depicted on the outside, and the sex workers who actually have to serve tourist clients have some... grievances.

👾How many different kinds of aliens are there in your WIP? Describe them!

There will be more than one kind!! But I only have one to describe right now!!

One of the aliens that will be a main focus in this WIP is... a species that doesn't have a name yet, but they're basically crocodile people with neck frills that change color based on their feelings. Their planet has a dense oxygen atmosphere and a slightly lighter gravity than Earth, so they can get up to nine feet (that's 274cm) at the tallest, but tend to hover around 7-8ft (213-243cm) tall on average. They're cold-blooded like IRL reptiles, and don't wear much in the way of clothes because they have to bask (in the sun or under a lamp) regularly to function. They're also obligate carnivores, with like 70-80% of their diets being meat.

They tend to be long and rectangular in body shape, with comparatively short limbs considering how tall they are. They have HUGE TAILS FOR WHACKING!!!! And for swimming, they spend half-and-half of their lives in land and water basically right down the middle. They have the long snouts with lots of teeth, but also they have the single weakness of not being able to open their jaws if literally anything is holding it closed. Their rougher armored scales are on the back and the soft ones are on their bellies, and they can vary in color and pattern based on where they're from. Mostly greens, browns, blacks, and sandy yellows and oranges. Sometimes a splash of red if they're feeling spicy. They live in both fresh and saltwater climates, though the freshwater aliens can't automatically filter salt like the saltwater aliens do (they have the salt-filtering gland, but it's not "active." It can be activated, but it's nasty because they have to drink saltwater).

Their frill colors are a semi-voluntary expression of emotion. Like how humans can force a smile when they're pissed, these croc aliens can force a happy color when they're pissed. However, it is harder to hide, since usually their "true colors" will show for a bit, or start to creep in along the sides. Because their frills are, in a lot of cases, reflective of their True And Real Emotions, trying to hide them on purpose is considered untrustworthy. If an alien keeps their frills closed all or most of the time, other aliens will look at them funny, or consider them closed off and unfriendly.

I'm taking inspiration from a lot of different animals for this bit, but these aliens are capable of randomly transing their gender at any time. The main alien in this story, Zyg, was hatched female along with all of his sisters. As he started to grow up, though, biology randomly assigned him transgender to balance the population of his family, and he transitioned to male over several years—completely out of his control. This happens all the time, throughout the species.

Now, the most important part: what are their sex organs like? I'm glad you asked.

Like most reptiles, all their sex organs are internal and contained in a cloaca. Males have hemi-penes which basically means they have two dicks that drop down from internal sheathes during sex time, and females have two clitorises up there (hemi-clitoris. that's what I call it). They also have scent glands that secrete body oils when they're mating/aroused, both in the cloaca and on the sides of their jaw (real crocs also have these). They lay 5-12 eggs in a clutch, including when the eggs aren't fertilized. It's common to eat unfertilized eggs, it's not considered cannibalism, but it is bad luck to eat your own unfertilized eggs—people trade clutches sometimes. Even when the eggs are fertilized, though, the embryos don't always survive. Those eggs are not eaten, and are treated sort of like a miscarriage. These aliens can also be intersex but I haven't 100% figured out all that stuff yet

The other types of aliens are gonna include at least one other mammal species, and maybe something fish-related? Still deciding.

😲Are there any human customs that the aliens find strange, offensive, gross, or confusing? Which ones?

When it comes to crocodile aliens, they are super weirded out by species that don't swim all the time. Some of them are convinced humans can't swim at all, and many of them consider humans less civilized for this.

Also, the fact that humans have to... choose? To trans themselves? Just move to a new city. What do you mean, you can't just do it on your own? Why are you doing injections? What do you mean surgery????

On a similar note, these croc aliens also have a mating season, and their libidos basically go dormant when it's over. The fact that humans don't have one can lead them in one of two directions: humans exclusively have sex to reproduce and barely enjoy it (how sad), or humans are SEX CRAZED, ALL THE TIME (HORRIFYING).

Those are the funniest ones I can think of. They're not really customs, but whatever

[try out my sci-fi worldbuilding ask game]

[hunter-creature]

Trans Preparedness

I'm probably not the right kind of blog to be doing this, but I go a little crazy not having a plan. A friend set up a threat model and practical steps that can be made to prepare for it. If this kind of disaster preparedness might be too much for you do not force yourself to read through this. Keeping calm and healthy is paramount above all of this.

Legal documents

Ban on legal document changes, reversion of previous changes and invalidation of updated documents. This means potentially being outed any time you present your ID. If you do update your documents, this may make it impossible to cross the border and any other checkpoints (legal or extralegal), as your documents could be invalidated. Possible criminal fraud penalty, like in florida, making the continued use of an invalidated ID risky. Risk of revocation of all legal recognition of non-binary gender.

What you can do to prepare: Consider whether it would be best to have your legal documents match your true gender or your agab. If you can’t reliably pass as your true gender, it may be prudent to have your documents reflect your agab, in the event you need to go through a document checkpoint without arousing suspicion. Also, consider that, by changing your documents, you may end up “on a list”.

Anti-trans discrimination

Rollback of anti-discrimination protections in employment, healthcare, and harassment/hate crimes.

What you can do to prepare: If you work at a corporation/franchise/small business with republican ownership or coworkers, consider updating your résumé and looking for new employment. If you do land a new job, think carefully about whether to present as your true gender or your agab while at work. Be extra cautious about coming out at your job — only do so if you can’t reliably pass as either your true gender or your agab.

If possible, save money. Pick up extra shifts. Cut back on discretionary purchases. Cancel unnecessary subscriptions. Meal prep. Organize bulk purchases with your community to share costs and get better prices. Visit your local food pantry instead of the grocery store. Etc.

One possible safeguard against healthcare discrimination is to have your medical records updated to reflect a diagnosis of intersex, rather than transgender, if possible. I’m not privy to the details, but my understanding is that there are certain diagnostic codes, genetic tests, etc that can be used to mask your transgender status while maintaining access to the same treatments.

Healthcare restrictions

Introduction of insurmountable liability for healthcare providers and expansion of malpractice definition/enforcement to make providing trans healthcare impossible. Possible criminalization of doctors prescribing HRT. Possible criminalization of HRT possession/use. It will become impossible to access HRT, except through DIY. Possible discrepancies in enforcement between states, with red states imposing “bounty hunter laws” that allow anyone to sue a person who has taken HRT.

What you can do to prepare: If you have a legal prescription for your HRT, ask your provider for a 90-day prescription. Fill it as soon as possible, and refill it once before inauguration day. Consider rationing to extend your supply.

Start thinking about what you’ll do when your stockpile runs out. Look into DIY method of HRT. Plan how you can share the cost of supplies among your community to build a larger stockpile.

Bathroom bans

National bathroom ban with possible deputized citizenry/tiplines. Could be fines or criminal penalties (jail). Either way, this makes it near impossible to go out in public, even in blue areas, because all it takes is one transphobe to turn your life upside down. This applies whether you’re in the restroom for your true gender or your agab, since we can’t count on transphobes to be consistent with enforcement (i.e. you look visibly queer so someone calls the cops on you, even though you’re in the restroom of your agab).

What you can do to prepare: Consult the Refuge Bathrooms directory to find single-occupant restrooms near you. Also submit any single-occupant restrooms you come across to the Refuge Bathrooms directory to help out others in the future. If you need to go into a gender-segregated multi-occupant restroom, try to go with a buddy or in a group for safety. Choose which restroom to use based on your outward appearance, not your internal gender.

Drag bans

May define transgender people doing any form of performance as drag, including public speaking at an event or protest, or performing live music in a venue or on the street. Possible definition of transgender people merely existing as “sexually explicit drag” in many circumstances. Possible classification of transgender people as sex offenders under this premise. May bar trans people under threat of criminal penalty from entering government buildings, airports, and schools while dressed in accordance with their gender.

What you can do to prepare: If you’re comfortable and capable of doing so, work on “passing“ as your true gender through voice training, clothing choices, hair style, and makeup. If you can’t reliably pass as your true gender, consider wearing less attention-grabbing, looser-fit, gender-neutral clothing and finding other ways to express your gender. Even if you’re wearing more body-conforming clothes, consider carrying a baggy sweatshirt or jacket to conceal your secondary sex characteristics in an emergency. Consider assembling a set of clothes associated with your agab, as well as any accessories such as a binder or packer, in case you need to “stealth” as your agab.

Additional notes

Update your passport, ID, and vaccinations. Drink water. Hug your friends. We get through this together.

[talisidekick]

I need your help...

If you don't know me, hello, I'm Accalia, I go by Tali Sidekick online on Youtube, Instagram, and on the rarest of occasions Twitch. I'm a 29 year old transgender woman from Canada, who came out and began socially and medically transitioning in 2021. I stream largely on Youtube and on the rare occasion I make videos (it's been over a year since I last did that).

I could use your help affording my legal name change. I've been trying to afford it myself but I'm unable to for reasons I'll get into below. The link is in my blog description, but I'll post it here:

Recently, while walking home from work (I don't make enough to afford public transit or my own vehicle or a bicycle) I got attacked by a middle-aged man in a dimly lit residential neighbourhood. I got away, and thankfully I didn't give him enough time to do more than grab me by the arm. However, I had to file a police report, which gave me two options: use my legal name which at current is my deadname (ie. a name I no longer wish to use) which would be distressing to say the least, or submit it anonymously. I chose the latter which unfortunately does little besides let the public know that someone dangerous with a vague description is in their area. I wish I could have put my name on that report but using my legal name as it stands now is ... I can't.

To add to this, I was saving up, but unfortunately the student loans I owe decided to charge me during an appeal process (they weren't supposed to) and when the charge partially bounced they denied my appeal (which isn't supposed to happen under the contract agreement I signed) because of "outstanding payments". The appeal process also only looked at my gross income for one month, specifically the month I got paid 3 times in (it happens only once a year) and decided to combine all three payments into an equal 2 and evaluated my paycheck at around 25/hr when I only make 16/hr and has thus denied me reduced loans payment (I'm working on this but it's adding to my stress). So at current, the $300 I had extra got eaten by the National Student Loans Services Centre (NSLSC) again and from previous experience even though I should be reimbursed once this is cleared up, I won't be.

I would have also had more (remember that extra third paycheck?) but my health insurance stopped covering me because despite being signed up to a provincial pharmacy program they decided I wasn't, and forced me to buy my hormones and ADHD meds out of pocket. They only -just- reinstated coverage, but getting reimbursed will take over a month possibly 2.

As such, I have exactly $48 in savings and $7 in my basic checking account.

I want to get my name changed, I've been trying for over 2 years, and it's been impossible. Every time I have the money to spare, the NSLSC eats it and doesn't give it back, some medical thing comes up, or some unforseen cost rears its head and consumes my meager savings. The cost averages out to about $450 because it requires Finger Printing for a background check, Notary Fees, Processing Fees, and Reprinting Fees for my Birth Certificate, Drivers License, and Marriage License.

And if the $450 goal is exceeded, any excess getsput towards affording the $6000 surgery cost of getting SRS/GRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery/Gender Reassignment Surgery). I have until December next year before my government will no longer cover the cost of the surgery supposedly.

If I can get help here, I really want all my legal doccuments to read "Llorelei Accalia [Lastname]". I'm so tired of having to explain to people that I'm transgender because the name, face, and (somehow) voice don't match.

Currently at:

$50/$450

[rosemarytrash]

me drama posting cuz i actually had a really good experience today but it was rly nerve wracking lmao

in case some of you didn't know, i currently live in montana!! it's a nice enough state for its nature and the like, but politically it's kind of a shit show. pros and cons y'know, but as a trans guy it's fairly lame. also, bcuz geography is important, i live in eastern montana, not on the cool western side where all the mountain queers go hang out. that's generalizing a lot but it is what it is so bare with

anyway, back in 2021 there was a bill passed (SB 280) that effectively made it impossible for trans people to change their gender marker on their birth certificate or other identifying documents without having a sex change surgery, while at the same time writing in that no surgery exists to change your sex on a chromosomal level or any of that bullshit. whereas before that bill was passed, montana law was a little more loosey goosey about it. mainly in that it didn't yet have a republican legislature hyperfixated on a culture war to drum up support so trans people weren't really IDENTIFIED by the law, which was ironically kind of easier to navigate. idk, shit weird, i'm no expert

anyway, tbh, i never really CARED about changing my gender marker. i changed my name legally back when i was like 15 or 16 and i believe, at that time, i had the option to simultaneously change my gender marker. for whatever reason, i decided not to. i think it had something to do with healthcare and trying not to fuck up the future possibility of getting on T, which didn't happen for another year for me. i've also always been fairly loose about my gender identity in terms of a full identification with maleness/manhood. like, i'm a guy, i'm a dude, don't call me anything except that, but on a deeply personal level i see myself a little more in between on that kind of scale. maybe something inherently non-binary but no label has ever quite fit the bill, so trans guy with an asterisk will have to do. anyway!!! i don't really recall why i made that call, but i had, and it truthfully never really got me into any trouble. for all the times i later had to flash my ID, even to this date, i can only really recall one time where a gas station clerk gave me a weird look and said "sir... ma'am... sir-ma'am... here ya go" when i was buying cigarettes lmao. i was never questioned about it by employers and as far as i know was never turned away from a job because of it (which is good because montana doesn't have employment protections for trans people (last i checked)). so i truthfully spent a good 7 or so years relatively unbothered by this fact or by the fact that i had an F on my driver's license. it was inconsequential to me

recently though with republicans doing more and more lines of anti-LGBTQ cocaine and more people becoming aware of trans people, it's been unsettling here. y'know just mildly discomforting. and mentally that is fatiguing. i've also only now encountered some bureaucratic bullshit that's like okay, wow, this is actually going to be a bigger problem in the future and i'm not wanting to deal with that. mainly in the form of i'm getting married here soon, we want to try and do some kind of honeymoon adventure in the distant future, so for that i need an passport and from what i've read that can be a real fucking headache for trans people and it can be even harder to change in the future. so like blugh. i'm also in the process of applying to grad school and it's just--kind of annoying to have to identify myself a certain way. it's weird cuz i won't pretend it's put me in some life-threatening situation or there's anything that feels DIRE about needing to change it, but it just feels like there'd be a lot less awkwardness and vulnerability if i did. ironically when montanans were less redpilled i didn't care about changing all my legal shit over, but now that your average grandpa here thinks of trans people as botched teenage girls or child predators in bathrooms and THAT's their reason for getting out of the house to go to the polls next year, well yeah now i give a shit about "deceiving" the system. idk it's dumb

anyway i actually KNOW the girl who is the plaintiff against the govt in the lawsuit against SB 280. she's really cool and it's cool that i know her. i ended up reaching out to her a few months back to ask how that was going and what it meant for changing your gender marker in MT. and fantastically i had found out that late 2022 the judge on the case had issued an order that forced the DPHHS to suspend its practice under SB 280 since it was a fundamentally unworkable law and to return to its original practice prior, which allowed trans people and frankly anyone else with good enough cause to change their gender marker without meeting some bullshit made up requirements by the state.

it then took me months to get the gumption to actually write, edit, and file a petition for it. which i finally did today, and it surprisingly all got done in an afternoon, even though hypothetically the courthouse at 1PM on a tuesday should've been fairly busy. i'll be interested to see how it goes, because just cuz it's filed doesn't mean anything is certain. to my knowledge, LEGALLY, it should be a done deal, i should get an order from the judge that will allow me to get a new birth certificate and a new driver's license and all that jazz. but what do i know? the judge may want to have a hearing about it, which could be incredibly awkward in a courtroom full of other people waiting to have their cases heard, but idfk. my fingers are crossed that it'll go okay.

and it was kind of a good experience? i was as anxious as one could imagine. i'm a bearded dude walking in with paperwork asking kindly for an F to become an M lol. and the gals at the courthouse were momentarily confused, raised a few brows, had to talk to someone to see what the current rulings were in that previously mentioned lawsuit, but they were nice enough about it. they got my shit filed, they took $120 from me rather apologetically cuz that's what shit costs to file a civil petition in the state district courts. i get to find out by email if the judge will just approve the order i drafted or if he's going to want to speak to me. and i'm hoping either of those things happen before the wedding so none of that paperwork becomes a headache.

anyway this is a long post cuz i have a lot of thoughts and either i ramble on and on to my fiancee about it or i just splurge on whatever few unfortunate souls decide to read this :) thx if you do. there's no point really to any of it yk just airing out some thoughts i guess. i'll go draw some gay shit now <3

[sodomit]

@marxistcalvinisthobbesist okay, it's not late at night anymore, and I can respond in a more profound way than I did in this thread.

1. On the topic of trans men and male privilege, nontransfem trans people and tme privilege.

Can you give concrete examples of trans men being invited into male privilege ("offered a leg up", as you put it), and invited into social hierarchy of normative manhood in general? How do you think it happens across different countries and cultures? How is trans manhood evaluated and discussed by the general society?

How are nontransfem trans people situationally engaging in transmisogyny different from transfem people doing the same? E.g. Blaire White attacking Alok Vaid-Menon for her transmisogynist fan base approval. What's the difference on the material level for the perpetrator and the victim of this act?

Note that I am not asking for analysis of the type "well, they're men, so it's logical that they have male privilege", I am asking how you think it manifests in reality and what kind of systemic benefit nontransfem trans people have from transmisogyny.

2. On the topic of the meaning of transfeminine and transmasculine, as well as transition directions.

Could you clarify still, where exactly are transneutral people positioned in your view of gender? I am still bothered by you assuming that everyone transitioning away from manhood is transfeminine and everyone transitioning away from womanhood is transmasculine.

In addition to that, what about people whose transition is nonlinear or not following the set expectations for their assigned gender and current gender identity? What about intersex people, some of whom report being assumed to transition while they actually don't?

Also, at what point does any of it start? I didn't do anything significant with my presentation or self expression for some time after realizing I was trans, what was I back then?

3. On the topic of externally assigning gender labels and assuming experiences.

I think we all here agree that gender assignment in the way that it is conducted by the general society is invasive and abusive, so I'm not sure what's the merit of trying to recreate it in the form of sorting trans people into groups on the basis of their (perceived) material position.

You said that people may be wrong in evaluating what oppression they're affected by. Who do you think is suitable to judge this wrongness? Do you believe it's possible to correctly guess the past and present life circumstances of a stranger?

In addition to that, you said that "people aren't oppressed by transmisogyny for looking like a trans woman, but for being a trans woman". How is that correlated with your view that transmisogyny occurs on the basis of one's position in the society? Do you believe that it's impossible for two people with different gender identities to occupy a similar social position, e.g. a binary trans woman and an agender person both pursuing estrogen HRT and legal gender change to female while using a masculine name and dressing androgynously? Or do you believe only one of these people will be affected by transmisogyny regardless? Or is your point that the agender person needs to be included in trans womanhood and/or transfemininity for the sake of material analysis against their will?

You said I'm wrong in assuming transmasculine and transfeminine are based on individual identification. I think assuming it's okay to apply these labels to people externally is just transphobic.

4. Positionality (in general)

It seems to me like you're trying to add more nuance to gender assignment by saying that trans people are not their assigned gender because they don't occupy the material position associated with their assigned gender. Meanwhile I believe one's gender identity is solely and fully a way to self label, and one's material position comes from a combination of factors that are not necessarily caused by any external expression of this identity (e.g. closeted nontransitioning trans people are still affected by transphobia in the form of trauma they experience while realizing how it shapes and restricts their life).

This is a problem I have with positionality as a theory, because it offers a very "you are how you're treated as" look at identity and social perception. I believe that a person's internal sense of self and the way they're treated are influencing each other, but don't cause each other in any linear predictable manner.

This is probably the root of the problem we're having here, because you hear "man" and think "someone who occupies a social position of a man", meanwhile I hear "man" and think "someone who considers themself a man". My approach allows me to divorce identity from oppression/privilege and discuss both in a way that doesn't rely on telling people that they're not what they say they are or they're not experiencing what they say they do. This is also where we go into the whole "problematic identity" topic, because I don't believe someone identifying in a somewhat unexpected and non intuitive way is committing some kind of a fraud. Transgender identities don't exist to give bystanders meaningful input on your life.