#and it seems to lack any signs of anything truly clever or fun

[fictionadventurer]

Most of my thoughts about the Barbie movie boil down to:

Why do we need this when Life in the Dreamhouse already exists?

[innocentbi-stander]

Okay so you kinda left off with hades busting so can I get some more demigod/son of hades jaskier pls? Also I love you!

I am so sorry this has been in my inbox for a while, midterms have really been kicking my ass the past two weeks and I haven’t had the chance to work on anything. I can absolutely provide some more demigod jaskier content ft. #1 Dad Hades. Enjoy!

say what you will about godly parents and their lack of care toward their children, but hades is not that kind of dad

he knows what it feels like to be pushed away, abandoned and forgotten, so he has always done everything in his power to help his kids (as few of them as there are)

he makes sure they are safe, and cared for in their homes. he gives them powers to protect themselves and safe travels to camp

hades is a pretty good dad, even if he’s not there all the time. he loves his kids

and then there’s jaskier

jaskier, who was born after a wild fling with a woman hades and persephone met outside of lettenhove

jaskier, who had his mother’s gorgeous blue eyes and sweet smile

who had persephone’s affinity for flowers and pretty things, who had the most talented voice hades had ever heard in his millennium

jaskier, who had hades’ quick temper, his charm, and his glare. who shared his fascination with the unknown, his persistence, his determinedness. he had every inch of hades’ fierceness and his passion for the ones he loved

jaskier, who was dangerously powerful and wielded it with care (except for the necromancy, the amount of skeletons his son had summoned merely on accident was frankly astounding)

who didn’t want to hurt any living thing except when someone hurt something (or more likely, someone) he loved, all bets were off

when it came to jaskier, hades was a Proud Father

jaskier had always been a boy after his own heart, ever since he had begun his visits to the Underworld as a young child and instead of shaking with fear (as many of his children had at first), his eyes widened with fascination 

hades took great joy in showing him the workings of the Underworld and the spirits it held

jaskier was an endless wealth of questions and curiosity, and hades took great care in answering every single one (by the look of shock on the boy’s face hades suspected that the man his mother had ended up married too was much less inclined to entertaining his pursuit of knowledge; hades made a silent promise to himself to never do that)

persephone liked to tease him that jaskier made him soft, but privately the both of them knew that hades would do anything for the people most important in his life (when his wife teased him, hades always took great care to question her on the hours she spent out in the gardens with jaskier, and the tears he had seen in her eyes the first time the boy called her ‘mother’)

 needless to say jaskier had the both of them wrapped around his finger, and for such a clever boy that was a dangerous thing to be

hades thought he was brilliant

as he grew up, jaskier went off to become a traveling bard, but his interest in the Underworld never faded

he often did tasks on the side of his travels on behalf of hades

and every once in a while he liked to pop in on his son when he hadn’t been down to visit

his son wasn’t likely to ever truly be capable of dying, but hades did like to make sure his limbs were all in order, especially when he forgot to write

he had remembered jaskier’s endless rambling about his witcher and so he wasn’t surprised when he tracked him down to the wolf witcher keep

hades was met with silver swords pointed at him from all sides, and he was just a little bit offended that they thought something as simple as a sword would down the god of the underworld

he knew how he looked to the unsuspecting mortal, tall, dark, shadowed. his eyes glowed silver and moonlight and his skin was endlessly pale

they stood there in silent standoff until he felt an approaching presence, familiar and light

hades smiled as his son broke through the line of witchers, and the smile on jaskier’s face for once wasn’t his mothers, but his father’s, overly wide and sharp

“dad!” he called out, and the witchers startled in shock, the sorceress behind them’s brow creasing in confusion

jaskier dashed forward, dressed in blue and silver, and with a well practiced step entered his embrace

their hug was simple but fierce, they held each other for a moment while their powers brushed a familiar greeting

gently but firmly, hades separated himself from his son and held him out by his shoulders

he sighed

“you’ve been overdoing it again haven’t you?”

jaskier wrinkled his nose, “what- how could you tell?!”

“your powers may be back in full, but your internal soul is still exhausted. you should still be resting” hades thought he heard the witch in the back whisper an infuriated, “I KNEW it!” but he paid her no mind

“your mother sends her regards, as well as this” he pulled the pitch black rose from his pocket and held it out to his son, who gasped when he saw the stars that danced and twinkled across the surface of the petals. jaskier took it from his hand and held it reverently, a pleased smile tugging at his lips.

“tell mother it’s beautiful, and she’s going to show me how she made this the next time I’m home” hades smiled fondly,

“she’d like that”

someone behind jaskier cleared their throat, and a quick glance informed them that it was in fact the witch from earlier.

“And who exactly is this Jaskier? Do introduce us.” she glided forward and slid a protective hand on his son’s shoulder, her grin was predatory

hades liked her

jaskier paid the blatant sign of possessiveness to mind, and made no further comment when the witcher, the one jaskier was always going on about, moved to his other side in a similar position

“oh right, where have my manners gone, terribly sorry!” jaskier rambled, hands flying about “may I introduce to you Hades, god of the underworld and some other things i’ve never been much inclined to remember. my father”

both father and son smiled similarly off putting grins and the shadows of the courtyard seemed to stretch a little longer

this would be fun

______

Thoughts?

[alpaca-writes]

Mystics, Chapter 32

Arch becomes hired on at Mystics by the strange shopkeeper Lyrem Nomadus, and everything seems to be going well. In fact, their life nearly becomes perfection; no more bullies, better grades, and a lot less stress. Soon enough, however, Arch realizes that perhaps not everything is as perfect as it seems and that Lyrem has been hiding a very dark, and troubling secret…

Oooh I have to say I’m pretty proud of this chapter. I had to wrestle with a thousand and one plot-holes to make it work and it’s almost 2:30am but it was all worth it. Enjoy!

MasterList 

Taglist: @myst-in-the-mirror & @livingforthewhump

CW: Gore, body horror, creepy whumper, swearing, there’s one bad pun this time. I lol’d about it for arguably too long.

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CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: CURTAINS

         Paimon whistled an old tune through his lips as he stepped across the hall. The knives had been placed away, and in speaking with Apollo, he had come to a startling revelation about himself and his goals.

         It was Arthur’s turn to be strapped down to the table and this time, it wouldn’t be in a dining hall. Before long, Paimon had the room transformed into a stage, with dining chairs to line the one and only audience row. There was no need for a large gathering. Paimon had a very limited guest list. He had sent invitations with some poorly thought puns just for the fun of it, and had no intention of being stood up. This would be a performance of a lifetime and as director, Paimon wouldn’t dare to have a single aspect go awry.

         He clucked his hooves down the darkest hallway by-passing Apollo’s chamber for the one with the two sorry humans. It seemed they were cut off from a sour discussion when they heard his steps through the corridor.

         “-it really shouldn’t take too much effort”-

         “How would you know?” Lyrem hissed.

         Paimon smiled, glad that the two prisoners were making nice with each other.

         “Big plans, my boys?” he sauntered through, making eye contact with Arthur, who rolled his eyes away from the creature to avoid looking at him fully. “No? Not a fishing trip or some good old mountaineering? I hear Colorado is gorgeous this time of year.”

         Paimon tapped a chain with a fingernail to produce a clinking sound near Arthur’s wrist. The chains began lowering themselves down at the behest of an invisible, magical force. The moment he had slack, Arthur wrapped a loop of chain around Paimon’s neck and pulled it taut against his forearm. He had the upper hand, and there was nothing that Paimon could do to affect him.

         “Agree to let Arch out of this deal right now, you”-

         Paimon grinned and vanished into a plume of black smoke. Arthur stumbled from the release of pressure against the beast.

         Paimon stalked up behind him, enjoying the little act of defiance, but he had to be stern. He wagged a finger at the human and tutted.

         “You know better than that,” Paimon exclaimed. “I may not be able to hurt you with magic, but I can certainly still use it to get myself out of a sticky situation.”

         He kept himself to a distance as not to get tied up twice, and glanced toward Lyrem, who seemed to be keeping to himself and was intentionally avoiding eye contact by turning his head away.

         “So emotional… Don’t worry old friend, you’ll get your chance as well,” Paimon noted. He returned to Arthur with a renewed interest in his eyes. “Now, you listen. We have quite the performance ahead of us and you’re already busted up enough as it is. I don’t want to make it any worse. That’s for Arch to do.”

         Arthur glanced from Paimon to his way out into the hall and then back again.

         “Clear terms,” Arthur began, “Arch is given five minutes to carve out my heart, and if they fail, they are free from all bonds, any agreements, including any signed ones they had with you. And if you use even one ounce of your power to force them”-

         Paimon nodded, “I don’t know why you need to specify it, Arty, truly. Arch will do splendidly and you’ll never see the light of day again. It’s a winning situation all around.”

         “If you try to force them into doing anything at all,” Arthur insisted. “Then Arch is released, agreed?”

         Paimon scoffed, and nodded, “Agreed! For goodness sakes, were you a lawyer in a past life? Clearly not, I think. The lawyers I know wouldn’t come to an agreement like this unless it was in writing- they’d also think of themselves first. Do you have any clue what will happen to you, Arty? What will become of you if Arch is released?”

         As Paimon rambled, he tapped the shackles again, and this time with severe discipline, Arthur refrained from trying to strike at Paimon a second time. His shackles were joined now; morphed from a joint in the wall to linking together from his wrists and his ankles with hardly a sound to it.

         “I don’t care what happens to me,” Arthur declared, “as long as Arch is free from you.”

         “Such a sweet thing, caring about your Arch so much. I doubt that feeling will last for very much longer.” Paimon ushered Arthur forward. He was unable to teleport him anyway. The Abysmal Flame prevented Arthur from being controlled by any force placed upon him that was not physical in nature. “Move along now, we don’t have all day. Our guests will be arriving shortly.”

         With a final glance to Lyrem from across the room, Arthur followed Paimon out the door and through the halls.

         The hall lit itself as Paimon took his hoof-steps through, avoiding the empty souls lurking between shadowed pillars. Arthur moved slowly, feeling tired and sick from his lacking energy.

“What guests?” Arthur inquired.

         “Did I not tell you earlier that it was a performance? I invited several guests to have front row seats… my uncle Hades, my half-sister, and oh, of course, your dear sister Charlotte as well.”

         Arthur’s blood ran frigid. The tense, shaky breath that followed made Paimon smirk with delight.

         “Ah yes, I’ll be sure she is there to watch her child to carve out the heart of her dear little brother. I couldn’t pass up that opportunity.”

         “But you’re also releasing Hades? And Persephone?” Arthur asked with a puzzled look as they ascended the stairs.

         “You mistake me for a fool?” Paimon challenged. “They will be bound to obeying me and my laws the moment they enter through the door I’ve created for them. Don’t think they’ll be there to do anything more than watch you suffer.”

         Paimon led Arthur up to a small door that opened to the dining hall- now a stage with some seating and a table for Arthur to lie on.

         Arthur stood at the head of the table as Paimon motioned for him to climb up. Shaking his head regretfully, he pulled his hand from his pocket, hoisted himself up and spun onto its surface. His chains were tapped again, and obeyed Paimon perfectly. They fastened themselves into the table until Arthur’s arms were taut to his side and his hands had just a little wiggle room near his hips.

         Arthur stared up at the satyr, feeling more vulnerable than he ever did before, and watched Paimon lean over eagerly. His pointed beard draped across Arthur’s shoulder and touched the tabletop.

         “This is a good look for you,” he mentioned with a deadly grin.

         Feeling humble, Arthur looked away, seeing the chairs that would soon be filled with spectators; one of which would be his sister. Suddenly, he wasn’t so concerned for himself anymore.

         “Don’t make Charlotte watch.”

         “Hmm?”

         Arthur blinked slowly, knowing that Paimon had heard him clear as day and yet pretended not to. This was all part of the fun. There was no point in repeating himself.

         From the back wall, behind the chairs, a bright light glowed where three outlines stood, waiting to make their entrance.

         “Ah, here they come.” Paimon smiled and offered Arthur a wink. “Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

--------------------------------------

Earlier,

“What are you trying to do?”

“I’m trying to create another portal.”

Lyrem sighed. Arthur’s efforts were admirable at least.

“The chains will prevent you from crossing through,” he said. “Besides, I’ve already explained to you once that the only way out of this is to go through with the deal you made”-

“I’m not trying to make a portal for me,” Arthur spoke exasperated. “I’m trying to create one for you. I know how these things go down, alright? You get into a deal with someone and then they change the rules, they raise the price because they know what you need from them. Once Arch is out of their deal, Paimon will use them against me. Arch might end up back at square one if we don’t have a significant amount of leverage.”

“Life as a junkie has certainly prepared you for this moment, hasn’t it?”

Arthur stared at the old man incredulously at the sudden unloading of baggage, and shook his head.

“My apologies” Lyrem corrected himself and cleared his throat. “You hope to release me, which won’t work, and then expect me to… do what?”

“Release Apollo. Find your friend Hekate… I assume you are resourceful enough to figure something out so that we can finally end this nightmare. It really shouldn’t take too much effort.”

“How would you know?” Lyrem hissed.

Falling to a sudden silence, Lyrem made a quick glance to Arthur as Paimon entered. Paimon addressed Arthur first.

Arthur was in no condition to create portals. Lyrem could see that he was in pain enough already as it was, but even so, Arthur’s eyes locked with his for the briefest of seconds when the chains became loose. Arthur had directed his eyes to Lyrem and then nodded toward his left hand.

The smallest of voids had formed behind his hand and into the metal piece that held his wrist up. Before Paimon could pay any significant attention to Lyrem, Arthur had wrapped a chain around his neck and started to threaten him.

Perhaps Lyrem had misjudged Arthur’s capacity to be clever, but it was still only one small portal; a gap in space and time where his wrist could pass through. It wasn’t quite enough to set Lyrem free; not yet, anyhow. Lyrem took the distraction as an opportunity to recite a mantra respecting the sacred geometry; one that would hopefully allow him to multiply one portal into four.

“Ek mein do, do mein chaar,” he whispered. The power flowed through him like water; out of earshot from Paimon, who hadn’t even realized that Lyrem was reciting ancient magic that no one had any claim over.

“So emotional… Don’t worry old friend, you’ll get your chance as well.”

Lyrem ignored Paimon’s words, still concentrating on himself instead. Soon, the other two exited the room, and Lyrem recited his words one final time before falling completely forward onto his hands and knees.

“Even as a dead man, I still feel pain,” he muttered bitterly. “How is that fair?”

He grunted, lifting himself to his feet and turned around, noticing the shackles were still intact and the voids still existing on their metal cuffs. In a spark of light, the four voids collapsed into themselves and left nothing behind.

“Must learn how to do that one day…” Remembering the task at hand, he rubbed his hands together and made his way through to the hall. “Now, to find our… leverage.”

Paimon and Arthur were gone from the hall, and it was left in darkness. The decrepit beings that roamed the halls there ignored him as he followed the corridor down to where he knew Apollo would be kept as a prisoner. The light still poured from beneath, leaking out into the hall. Lyrem took a quick glance from side to side and opened the door.

Lyrem forced himself forward towards the Sun God with his eyes squinting through the brightness. The light dimmed as the god awoke, exhausted from his half-brother’s brief visit. Lyrem started on one of the shackles holding Apollo in place around a wrist but realized soon that they were clearly the same as the ones he had only just escaped from, one room over and wouldn’t be able to get through them without help.

“Shit,” Lyrem muttered. Apollo did not look surprised or like he cared.

“Controlled by Pan, for Pan, I’m afraid,” he managed. “Did you, a silly little mortal, really believe that you could release me? There was a good reason why I sent that call through to you. I wanted to reach Persephone, or Hades.

You are useless.”

Lyrem backed off from Apollo, put on edge from the insulting remark.

“I’ll have you know I contained a great amount of magical prowess before I met your brother! Now, help me find a way to release you before”-

Apollo chuckled tiredly.

“What? What is so funny?”

“You,” Apollo answered. “You are a fool! The reason I am here at all is because Pan convinced you to tear out your father’s heart. I couldn’t give him what he wanted when I lost. I bet on the wrong horse’s conscience, didn’t I? And now, you are here, trying to right all the wrong you’ve done at the behest of Pan and oh… it just makes me laugh. It’s practically poetry.”

“Well, then,” Lyrem didn’t have time to explain himself, nor should he have to at all. His life was just laid out before him once again as a used chew toy on the ground. Now Apollo was the one judging him for his decisions. Lyrem looked to Apollo’s chest that was opened and bore a golden heart, still pumping. It was the source of the light. Paimon had left the clamp on to hold the gaping wound open. Lyrem touched the metal handle, and jolted back as it was very hot- as though it had been sitting in the heat of a flame. He quickly soothed his hand, weaved a protection spell through his fingers and promptly tried a second time. He gripped it, loosened the bar, and pulled.

Apollo screamed. The release of his wound was more painful than either of them had expected it to be. Lyrem tossed the metal bar to the ground and raised a brow. The light faded more and more as the wound healed over in record time.

“How was that?” Lyrem sniffed, wiping the golden blood off of his hands and onto his pant leg. “Was that a good enough deed for you? Or should I have torn your heart out for fun? Believe it or not, I am capable of making rational decisions- even those where my dear dad was involved. If you had known him, you’d have ripped him apart too.”

Apollo had no choice but to listen to Lyrem as his body recovered quite painfully.

“Maria once told me that I was too passionate- too emotional for her. I tried to rectify that, in order to please her, to please Pan, and everyone else I had come across in life thinking that I was always doing something wrong. But, I see now, emotional is part of who I am. Doing things out of emotion does not make me any less rational- on the contrary I believe it has made me much more productive.” Lyrem stopped speaking as Apollo met his eyes. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

The god exhaled, thankful that his chest had closed up completely. The light in the room had gone out, leaving the ambient glow of the bulbs along the wall. Lyrem stood along the ledge, searching for any portion of chain that might be weak enough to sever. There wasn’t. If Lyrem remembered correctly, Paimon had once boasted about acquiring them from Ares, the God of War and he wasn’t anything, if not particular about securing prisoners. But Ares hadn’t met Lyrem Nomadus, and Lyrem Nomadus wasn’t planning to leave Apollo chained up in the basement of the Underworld without trying a few tricks of his own. Unbound by the chains and without Paimon around to interfere, Lyrem was much handier than any god would expect. The chains began to lower, releasing slack to Apollo until his bare feet rested on the floor.

“How are you doing that?” Apollo asked. He turned his head. Lyrem hadn’t done visibly, anything to warrant the lowering chains. Their lengths clinked to the floor.

“A calming chant, a song of innocence- although…”

“What?” Apollo asked, impatient in Lyrem’s pause. The cuffs hadn’t released.

“To release you, would mean you would have to give Paimon what he was owed,” Lyrem said. “What do you owe to him?”

Apollo grunted, “he doesn’t deserve what I owe him. Not after everything he has done to our family and to me.”

Lyrem raised a brow in mild confusion, “then why stick by his side? Why play his games at all?”

“Because I care about him,” he growled back. “Like an idiot. I humored him because I felt like I had to- like I could make him better if I gave him my attention. He’s my family, and one of my closest kin. And… He’s a lost cause.”

Out of habit, Lyrem reached for his stopwatch, which had been destroyed long ago, just to see how much time had passed them by. Such an indication only told him that they would be running out of time soon enough.

         Arch would be carving into Arthur at any moment now.

         “What did Paimon want?”

         “He wanted a Sun for his realm, the Labyrinth.”

         “Give it to him.” Lyrem ordered. “And when he goes back, you will lock him in. Can you manage that?”

         “Lock my brother in his own realm?” Apollo looked skeptical, but nodded. “I’ll do what I can. But truthfully, there is no guarantee”-

         “And we’ll have to remove one of the Labyrinth’s inhabitants first. A little girl. Maybe a year old,” Lyrem added.

         “There is a child in the Labyrinth? Why?” Concerned, Apollo watched Lyrem gulp slightly.

         “I’d rather not say.” Lyrem gestured for Apollo to open a door to the Labyrinth. “But you could take her out of there, couldn’t you? And she would be… fine?”

         “I believe so,” Apollo pushed his hands together in concentration, and then pulled them apart until a void grew in front of them. “Once the Sun is delivered there, I should be able to remove her quite easily.”

         “Good, good…” Lyrem muttered. “Well? What are you waiting for? Give him the Su”-

         They were no longer in the basement area. Instead, Lyrem was seated in a chair from the dining hall and staring out at a familiar set of faces. One was on the table, trying to speak to the shorter one standing over them with a jeweled blade; Arthur was pleading with them to listen- to hear them. But Arch was in the middle of a sweet guitar lick and couldn’t hear anything happening, even if it was only a foot or two away. They were waiting to the next song before they started their five-minute carving challenge, just as Paimon asked them to. Charlotte sat beside him on one side and beyond her, Persephone and Hades. All watched on, not paying mind to Lyrem and Apollo’s sudden arrival. Paimon found his own seat between Lyrem and Apollo and sat himself down.

         He chuckled looking from one disappointed face to the other and handed each of them a pamphlet. Grinning, he patted both of them on the shoulder.

“Glad you both could make opening night.”

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

Being Human - Chapter 16

<= Chapter 15

Summary : Snatcher learns something that is definitely not a good thing. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826561/chapters/68121814

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Sorry for the late posting ! I have a bit of a writer block, and I tried toi delay my chapters as much as possible until I couldn't anymore (the 17th chapter isn't finished so it'll force me to write it eventually), sorry about that ! I hope you're still interested in this story despite my lack of recent activity.

I hope you'll like this chapter !

Of course, the “Oh The Humanity” AU belongs to @doodledrawsthings​​ !

Happy reading !

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Chapter 16 - “So, what are you doing here?”

Out of all the people who could have come out of this hallway, Moonjumper was perhaps the less surprising one to Snatcher. Obviously, the fear of seeing Her had engulfed him since the moment the alarm went off, but now, he felt a huge wave of relief hitting him. The man knew very well this was absolutely stupid for him to think She would be able to come onto the ship uninvited… But still.

His posture relaxed once he realized he wasn’t in danger. This was maybe the first time he was truly happy to see Moonjumper, but compared to Vanessa, this wasn’t really difficult. However… Why was he here? Did something happen with Her…?

The living corpse’s face lit up as his eyes fell on Snatcher and the bow-wearing kid next to him. He had his hands clasped together, his face shifting from worry to relief as he saw them:

-“Oh hello! There you are!” he greeted the two, floating a bit closer, while the bow-wearing child approached him too, her smile wide. Her annoyed expression had been quickly replaced by a happy one, an excited one even, as if she hadn’t seen the guy for weeks when, in fact, it had only been two days.

-“Moonjumper!” she greeted him back, stopping just in front of him, her posture clear of how glad she was to see him. The feeling seemed to be mutual as he gave her a warm smile, just as happy to see her. The other’s eyes soon drifted higher to meet Snatcher’s, and the corpse’s warm expression fell a bit. Well, this wasn’t quite surprising, considering how sour their relationship was. In all honesty, who wouldn’t be put off by seeing their dead, rotten body floating right before them, stolen by an unknown spirit? Not a lot of people.

-“Good morning,” said Snatcher simply, the gears in his mind turning more and more. Was this a simple visit of courtesy or… Was there more to it? The former ghost couldn’t help but think of the worst-case scenario. But could this be possible…? It had only been a few days!

Yet, Vanessa was unpredictable and much cleverer than what she let people think. She wasn’t just a Queen that had gone crazy with jealousy and control… No, no… She was far more intelligent and cruel that one would think. And Snatcher knew that from experience. Furthermore, the man couldn’t help but think of Moonjumper’s worried face as the latter had entered the room… He had a bad feeling, he hated that, but that feeling was definitely there, eating him little by little.

Something had happened.

His thoughts were soon cut short as Moonjumper started to talk again, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence that had followed Snatcher’s greeting:

“I- uh, seem to have triggered some sort of alarm…?” wondered the ghost with confusion and nervousness: “Is… Is this normal?”

The former spirit couldn’t blame the other, that loud thing had surprised him too quite a lot. Just the same, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was something that happened on a regular basis or not. Given how annoyed the little girl had been instead of surprised or startled like he had been, he supposed the former was most likely.

-“Yeah, I was wondering about that too,” added Snatcher with a perplexed frown, tilting his head slightly.

The little girl winced as she glanced away, probably remembering quite a lot of situations revolving about said alarm. When she did start to explain, her features showed some hints of irritation.

-“Well… It’s something that Hat and I built in the spaceship in case of… Incidents.”

-“‘Incidents’?” repeated Snatcher, even more confused and, perhaps, a bit nervous now. What did she mean by that…? Apparently, Moonjumper’s face showed the same signs of worry he was expressing, if not more. Both of their stances were now tensed, waiting anxiously for the child to continue her explanation. At their insistence, she seemed a little uncomfortable, as if she didn’t know how to explain something to them in a way that wouldn’t worry them even more.

Well, this was not a success.

-“Hum… I mean, Space is a dangerous place, you know?” she tried to clarify: “And there are many, many life forms out there, not all being super nice so… It’s better to be prepared, right? Just in case. So Hat and I decided to install that alarm, but…” She paused, looking elsewhere as she kept going, more annoyed: “So far, it has only been a bother, and we never had any problems. But… You never know, right?”

Okay, so if Snatcher was nervous before, now he was just scared. What kind of horrific creatures would cause the need for such a system? Space was not his forte, never had been actually, but now the idea of stargazing through the window just made him terribly ill at ease. Who knew what he’d happen to see in this endless black void…?

Yeah no, he didn’t want to think about that.

As the bow-wearing kid looked back at them, she seemed to notice their change of behaviour and expression and raised her hands quickly:

-“B-but it’s fine!” she soon added with a forced smile: “It doesn’t happen really ofte-”

-“It has happened before?!” interrupted Moonjumper, with a panicked and horrified look in his eyes. Well, then again, Snatcher couldn’t blame him. The simple thought of an unknown creature possibly infiltrating the ship… It made him shiver. As if he didn’t have enough to worry about with Vanessa!

-“No! I mean, yes, but-!” the child was starting to grow a little frustrated and she eventually covered her face with both of her hands, rubbing it as she was maybe thinking of a way to calm the two. Eventually, she sighed and tried to smile again, though it didn’t reassure Snatcher very much: “Your solar system is safe,” she informed them calmly: “You don’t need to be afraid, for real. I mean, otherwise your planet would have probably been invaded by some giant eldritch horrors by now, or-”

The little girl closed her lips shut and tight as she realized she was only making things worse. Giant eldritch horrors? Normally, that wouldn’t scare Snatcher, but being in his fragile and weak human body made him reconsider a lot of things, and this was one of them. With so many risks of dying and not even being sure to come back as a ghost afterwards, he just couldn’t allow himself to be reckless... Especially with the time limit looming over them, this sword of Damocles looming over their head. He had to be there if Vanessa happened to do something, whether it was as a powerful spirit… Or as a weak and pathetic human being.

He needed to be there.

Right in front of them, the bow-wearing kid was fidgeting uncomfortably, a wince clearly visible on her face as a heavy and awkward silence settled in the room. Well, now it was much too late to try to reassure any of them, especially Moonjumper, whose face said enough about the whole ordeal. Quite soon, the little girl found herself unable to do anything else than to flee the conversation:

-“Uuuh, you know what, I’ll, uh…” she stuttered, gesturing to the engine room: “I’ll tell Hat you’re here, so, hm… Have fun you two!” And, without waiting for them to protest or even reply, the bow-wearing child dashed to the door and disappeared into the hallway, leaving two very confused and nervous spirits on their own.

-“What. The heck,” let out Snatcher, frowning even more, his eyes fixed on the now closed door.

-“I, uh… I’m starting to fear for these children’s safety,” murmured Moonjumper, just as shocked as him.

-“You don’t say,” answered the former ghost flatly. That wasn’t really surprising, considering all the kind of trouble the kids were used to put themselves into. Plus, Subcon was kind of a death trap in itself, and yet the little girls kept visiting no matter how many time they had almost got killed. However, if there was anything to be worried about, this wasn’t the kids’ safety (Ha!) but his.

Eventually, the former spirit turned back to Moonjumper, his mind realizing the golden opportunity he had for being alone with the living corpse. Without the kids being around them, Snatcher could ask about the state of Subcon Forest without having Moonjumper worrying about upsetting the children.

-“So, what are you doing here?” he asked, straight to the point. There was no use in delaying the inevitable and if there was something he had to know about… Well, it was better now than later. With Vanessa able to freeze his entire kingdom again, it was better to be careful.

Just like he had expected, Moonjumper was taken aback by his straightforward attitude, making him fidget just like the bow-wearing kid earlier. This sight was more than enough to tell Snatcher that, yes, there was indeed something bothering Moonjumper, and most likely something linked to their biggest problem at the moment: Vanessa. And yet, the corpse glanced away, biting his lips as if he was trying to find a way to tell him what was happening without upsetting him too much.

But the silence on its own was more than enough to make him upset.

-“Okay,” Snatcher pinched his nose, feeling a weight settling in his stomach. Gods, what was he going to learn… His legs were starting to shake a bit and the man felt like his muscles freezing from the tension and apprehension. If he had to know something, it was now or never: “What’s happening? I know you’re not here just to say ‘hi’, especially since it’s only been a couple of days. So what’s wrong?”

Snatcher didn’t have the strength to play the questioner type too long. Dealing with this body was already quite a lot on his mind, so if he had to get more worries over his unfortunately weak shoulders…

-“It’s…” Moonjumper started, looking much more worried than when he had first appeared in the room. Had he been trying to hide it as long as there was a kid in the room? “It’s your fires. They’re starting to die down already.”

Snatcher frowned again, more and more confused.

-“My… Fires? What do you-” but then, he closed his mouth. His fires. The ones he had lit up to protect Subcon Forest from his ex’s magic, the ones that were the only thing heating up the area enough to keep it warm and safe from Vanessa. The only barrier against this unnatural and terrifying cold that had killed so many people… Including him.

Those fires were dying down.

The former ghost’s face paled up as soon as this thought materialized in his mind, hitting him violently as he was forced to understand what it meant. What it all meant for him, for his forest… And for his minions. If those fires ever went out, then there wouldn’t be anything to protect Subcon from the terrible cold and ice coming from the manor, but this wasn’t the worst, no, oh no.

Vanessa would feel that there were no resistance against her magic anymore. This couldn’t happen, this just couldn’t happen, ever.

-“Snatcher...! Snatcher!” Moonjumper tried to call him back to reality, but Snatcher was too lost in his own horrifying thoughts. How could this already be happening? Those fires shouldn’t die down so soon! Sure, he had predicted this would happen, considering they originated from his powers and, thus, depended on them to remain active and warm. Now that the man was in a human body with none of his magical abilities left, he didn’t have any power source to maintain them. It didn’t take him long to put two and two together: this would be what would make Vanessa understand that the Forest wasn’t as well protected as before. However, he had expected this to happen much, much later. Not now. They hadn’t found anything to reverse the situation yet…!

Oh Gods. He was hyperventilating again. His body was now trembling like a leaf and he only realized he was hugging himself. A loud, very loud ringing noise was echoing in his brain, making him unable to distinguish any other sound. What? Why…?

Why was he so scared…?

He was forced out of his thoughts as he felt two hands on his shoulders, shaking him back and forth to bring him back to the present. He heard his name being called, though it was muffled by that deafening ringing noise. What would he do if Vanessa came before they found any solution? How was he going to protect his kingdom in this weak, stupid and pathetic meat sack of a body? The Queen wouldn’t give them any chance to fight back, especially if she was free to use his powers at their full potential in the Forest…

What was she going to do if she saw him like that again…? That thought alone made his stomach turn strongly, giving him the urge to throw up. No, no, no, no, he couldn’t go through that again, he couldn’t, she wouldn’t let him die this time, she would do her best to keep him alive, locked up for him to never, never escape again-

The pressure on his shoulders disappeared eventually… Only to reappear somewhere else, on his cheeks, forcing him to look up. There, he could see Moonjumper’s panicked face.

-“Snatcher!” the latter yelled, forcing him out of his trance. It was only then that the former spirit managed to glance around him, pulling himself together little by little. He was still in the ship. He was still safe.

His eyes went back on Moonjumper’s, the other letting go of his face now that he was able to think coherently again. As soon as he was free again, Snatcher stepped away: his breath was quick and heavy, his heart was pounding inside of his chest, his eyes were stinging… He reached out to rub his eyes, but as soon as his fingers touched them… He could feel them wet.

Did he really… Did he really start to cry…? In front of Moonjumper out of all people?! This could only be a joke. As fast as he could, he tried to dry them up, not wanting anyone to see him in that state, and especially not the spirit who had stolen his past life. No, absolutely not, not happening in a million years!

-“I’m… I’m sorry,” apologized Moonjumper, his expression no more afraid but guilty instead. His eyes were fixed on him, staring at him with what Snatcher identified as pity, as compassion. Gods, he would always hate being looked at this way. This made him feel even more pitiful than he already was in a state like this. But the other started to talk again, catching his attention again: “I should have been more tactful…”

But this apology wasn’t changing anything. It wasn’t changing the current situation, it wouldn’t keep Vanessa away. Those were just words. And words would never, never save them from a crazy Ice Queen starved for a twisted and inhuman love.

-“How much…” Snatcher could feel a lump in his throat, almost preventing him from talking. He still managed to get the words out, though his voice sounded much too broken for his liking: “How much have they died down?” he decided to ask. Maybe he had been panicking over nothing, perhaps the situation wasn’t as bad as it seemed! After all, he had always been quite powerful, it would make sense that his powers would persist even after him becoming human again!

… Right?

His eyes were staring at Moonjumper, awaiting the other’s answer with an unbearable impatience. He was hoping to see some kind of reassurance, something to make him feel better, anything other than the worst-case scenario he had started to picture since the very beginning of this problem. But the corpse wasn’t smiling, he wasn’t wearing the face of someone intending to comfort him, no…

Moonjumper seemed as terrified as he was himself.

-“Almost… Almost halfway,” answered the corpse with a paler face than the one he already had, his hands trembling as he fidgeted in the air.

As soon as the words came to Snatcher ears, he felt like he had just received a bucket of freezing water over his shoulders. Halfway…? No, no, this couldn’t be, this was too soon, way too soon! The man had thought it would take at least a week for that to happen! How could this be?!

-“No,” he breathed out, stepping away once more. He couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe it! Those fires were their only hope of keeping Vanessa away and oblivious of the situation! And those same fires were dying down?! “No, no, no, that’s not true,” he kept going, his voice becoming more and more distressed as he was glancing everywhere randomly: “You’re wrong, it’s not possible, they’re not-”

-“They are,” insisted Moonjumper with a troubled voice, not giving him the time to finish: “I thought just like you at first, I… I didn’t want to believe it either… But they’re already getting weaker. I… I checked, multiple times.”

This wasn’t good, this really wasn’t good… Snatcher felt like the world around him was collapsing around him. Their barrier against that crazy monster was weakening, it was weakening and they wouldn’t be able to fight her like this. But the worst question was yet to come, the most terrible and the most terrifying one that Snatcher wanted to avoid thinking about at all cost. But he didn’t have the choice anymore.

-“Do you…” The words got stuck in his throat, his breath becoming heavier and heavier as he struggled to talk again, fighting against the dread that was settling over him: “Do you think she noticed anything yet?”

If Vanessa had noticed anything… Then that would only announce a terrible danger. It wouldn’t take her long to understand that the Forest was soon unprotected… And that she would have the perfect opportunity to strike.

-“I don’t… I don’t know,” answered Moonjumper trustfully as he glanced elsewhere, visibly just as scared as he was: “I haven’t felt anything different coming from the manor yet, so I would guess not, but-”

However, the corpse was cut short in his reply by a high pitched voice that was very, very familiar to the two spirits.

-“What are you two talking about?”

The duo turned in the direction of the voice… Only to find the two little girls, standing up in front of the door leading to the engine room, a confused and worried expression painted on their faces. Both were glancing at them repeatedly, looking for an answer to their question, any answer. But the fear on their faces were already more than a good indicator of what was happening. Soon, their own faces crumpled as they started to understand.

No matter what they had to do to reverse this whole situation… Then they’d have to speed up the process, as much as possible.

Snatcher would not let Vanessa freeze the entire forest again.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Hehehehehe another cliffhanger, woohooo- Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter ! See you in the next one !

=> Chapter 17

[astrologysvt]

Chart First Impressions: Seungkwan

In celebration of Seungkwan’s bday, I’m starting the “Seungkwan is Best Baby” club and here is my list of reasons why you should join it. 

These are just the first impressions I had to all of their charts – the parts that popped out to me as being notable, things I personally liked, things I thought were interesting or contrary to the image I have of them. Things like that. I’m not looking at anything in particular with each reading. Some of their readings may be more aspect focused, where some may just focus solely on their personal planets. If you have any questions on specific aspects or want to request a more specific reading, feel free to send me an ask!I adore this boy 

our little capricorn baby 

lets have a nice little capricorn talk. 

another misunderstood sign

caps can be seen as stubborn, maybe judgmental. 

maybe sometimes overly practical and inflexible. 

i’ll be honest and say that caps have been the hardest for me personally to understand, but learning to understand them has been incredibly rewarding and enlightening. 

the first hurdle you need to address if ur struggling to understand caps is to understand that they aren’t miracle workers. 

they are so easy to write off in readings as the hard-workers, the ambitious ones, the ones who get stuff done. 

lmao there is an expectation that, if no other sign can do it, a cap probably can — but these things are obviously more complex than that, and no one is immune to failure.  

honestly, i think the main reason why people think this is, is because a cap is gonna be the last one to be okay dropping things if they know no one else is going to pick it up after them. 

even if they’re over it and don’t want to deal with it anymore — they’re gonna be the ones who know how to find the patience and perseverance within themselves to see it to completion. 

i went into it a little bit with seungcheol, but i think the primary identifying factor for a cap is their sense of responsibility. 

how they decide to address/focus/direct this sense of responsibility is up to them, but i’ve met various capricorns at very different places with their sense of responsibility. 

some ignore it, some are CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT IT. 

caps who struggle to focus it in any which direction can tend to be pretty fickle with their time and struggle to justify imputing excessive amounts of effort into things they aren’t sure about.

if they don’t see it amounting to something, they’d rather not do anything.  

and then you have the caps who are so committed in one direction who really feel as though time is constantly passing them by.

this is because they’re so focused on their goals that they struggle to grasp the progress they are actually making. 

either way, what’s looming over them both is this hyper awareness of a sense of purpose (or lack there of). 

and in my experience, they both tend to be rather insecure regardless of the place they’re at with their goals. 

they’re either insecure in knowing they need to be doing things and aren’t, or insecure in not knowing whether they’re being the most efficient with their time. 

that’s just something to think about with both seungkwan and joshua, though i think this is much more prominent in seungkwan 

(not to say joshua doesn’t have the same sense of responsibility, he just seems to be less quick to action than seungkwan is). 

with seungkwan, he’s the opportunist capricorn. 

they’re the ones who don’t wait for people to hype them up to start doing things. 

if they see an opportunity, they’ve already signed on and have started preparing. 

this makes sense considering his approach to variety shows. 

if he sees the opportunity, he reaches out. 

same with his cover of love poem, he saw the opportunity to make this connection with IU and it ended up being this really beautiful exchange. 

this cap attitude is the one he exactly expressed in the behind the scenes, too, when he was explaining that he didn’t know where the courage came from but he really wanted to directly ask IU for the instrumental. 

he didn’t HAVE to per say, but his lack of fear allowed him to pursue this project in a very sincere, touching, and authentic way. 

it goes to show how good these caps are at putting the effort forward before they can think themselves out of it. 

these caps are just a mystery to me because you can’t even imagine where the idea to do the things they do come from, and before you have time to ask them what they’re up to, they’re already knee deep in the project and starting new ones as you speak. 

but lets look at the rest of his chart 

we’ve got a virgo moon! 

so i feel like people don’t give virgos enough credit for being some of the funniest people in the world, honestly. 

they are naturally very clever people and consequentially very great conversationalists (so long as they don’t have other, more reserved placements that may interfere). 

they are this way because they are so observant and detail-oriented. 

they can talk for hours about the intricacies of the most random things and can talk about them with such passion because they genuinely think the little things are the most interesting. 

they’re very similar to gemini placements in the sense that they want to know everything and study everything, and honestly just love being able to share their findings with people. 

i think the primary difference is that geminis do it because they are so curious and inquisitive, almost to a fault. 

where as a virgo approaches it more as research/getting their bearings. 

they feel the most comfortable in situations where they can account for all the details, understand how each part functions, and can have enough information where they feel as though they can comfortably predict all possible outcomes. 

they’re so good at this to the point that they manage to come to these findings incredibly fast, almost subconsciously. 

which is why you can hardly ever get anything past someone with a strong virgo influence. even when you think they’re not paying attention.

they keep tabs on the most random, minuscule things and man will they let you know if something is not how it should be. 

but how does this make him funny? 

virgo’s take that attention to detail and they apply that to their humor. 

they’re the ones to point out that random thing they noticed you did that you didn’t think anyone would notice, but boy did they notice it and did they think it was hilarious. 

or the kind of things that wouldn’t be funny inherently, but are funny because they put it in such a specific context that now you think it’s the funniest thing on the planet. 

it’s because they’re resourceful comedians who are super in tune not just with the nuance that puts those jokes over the top, but they are so good at finding the most obscure, random things to pick fun at. 

they’re humor also def leans more towards the satiric/absurd realm. 

i mean, john mulaney is a virgo idk what more i need to say to prove how funny and weird virgos can be. 

seungkwan honestly has such a big heart. 

so i know earth signs have a habit of coming across cool or impersonal, and with a cap sun, mercury, venus & virgo moon you’d imagine he’d be too cool for school. 

but don’t forget virgo influences are one of the healers of astrology. 

in astrology there are two “healers” 

pisces are the emotional healers, and virgos are the physical healers. 

this could explain his ultra obsession with helping the others maintain their health, and also why he manages to nag them about it in the sweetest way. 

but we’ve also got a virgo moon trine cap mercury. 

this makes him incredibly emotionally competent. 

having this aspect associated with both earth signs makes it so that his concern with health and stability is how he expresses his care.  

he truly and deeply understands the role he plays in taking care of his members and takes it very seriously. 

this also makes him really good at giving advice!!! 

he’s so attentive and is really good at balancing emotional support with guidance. 

this can also make him incredibly great in stressful situations as he’s able to take in chaos and turbulence through his moon and effectively process it. then his cap mercury’s quick brain and knack for logics kicks in and starts problem solving. 

his moon is opposite jupiter

this is the aspect that really makes him that fun-loving, sweet, warm-hearted boo we all know and love. 

he’s so generous with affection and humor because it comes from this bottomless well within him. 

he’s so accessible and i think this is one of the reasons why people are so quick to warm up to him. 

hehehe tho he does have a tendency to over do it due to that opposition.

the jupiter influence gives him this super open and free energy from that added sag influence while making him incredibly optimistic at heart.

he’s just so easy to be around, and when you see him open up his arms to you there’s no reason for you not to return the gesture. 

not only that, but talking with him is so fun because he is so animated and so passionate yet so invested in the conversation because he genuinely enjoys hearing from different perspectives. 

he is truly a happy, and optimistic person at heart and associating this with his moon makes him incredibly stable and enduring in the face of emotional turmoil.

it doesn’t make him immune to emotions or sadness, but he is certainly always able to find a silver lining while also allowing him to be constructive on the reasons he may have ended up where he was. 

but you take that and then you add his already super committed capricorn energy, and what you get is this incredibly resilient guy.

it’s because of this that he’s so capable of being present in every single aspect. 

there is at no point that seungkwan checks out, may it be professionally,  personally, emotionally.  

he is truly someone you can depend on in all fronts. 

[calpalirwin]

According to Plan

A/N: So, in one of my first renderings of this story, Mads (originally Emma) was high-functioning autistic, and stuck to a very simple diet (very little typical sugars and sweets) because “research” (in quotes because I’m not sure if it’s factual or not) shows that diet can help with the brain chemistry or something. Anyway, that’s why she pretty much only drinks water. And I thought her first soda experience was cute, so I kept it in. Enjoy!

And away, and away we go!

~~~

Chapter 9

Madison

~~~

I walked with him to his truck after we finished up the assignment. “I’ll meet you by your locker,” he told me.

I smiled. Yeah. I’ll see you then. I’ll be online later if you want to play videogames. I was back to signing, having talked more in the last half hour than in the last seven years combined.

“Yeah, cool,” he smiled and kissed me.

I waited in the yard and watched as he drove off before I headed back in the house. I grabbed a water from the fridge before I sat down at the table.

“So, you’ve been spending a lot of time with Ashton. Things getting serious?” Mom asked.

I don’t know… I guess.

Mom and Dad exchanged a look. Dad coughed awkwardly. Mom cleared her throat. “Well, your dad and I would feel more comfortable if you started on birth control.”

Mike and I both choked. What? We’re not… I’m not… What?!

“Just as a safety precaution! It’s not permission, by any means. We’d much rather if you didn’t get involved that way. But, we’d rather you be protected if you decide to make that decision down the road.”

Okay, well if we’re on the topic of discussing change, I think I want to get the Cochlear implant.

“You do?” they asked.

Yeah. I’m gonna be on my own next year. I think it’s time. I left out the fact that I just really wanted to be able to hear Ashton’s laugh on my own.

“Okay,” Dad said. “But, Mads, you know this isn’t as easy as saying you want it and then you get the surgery. You have to prove that you’re a good candidate. It’ll probably take a while. Just don’t get your hopes up.”

I know. But I want to at least try. Can’t hurt to try, right?

“Can’t hurt to try,” my parents agreed.

When I played videogames with Ashton later that night, I typed into the chatbox to him:

So, my parents want me to go on birth control.

What? Why?

They want me to be protected now that we’re apparently getting serious. Just in case.

Wow, that’s… progressive of them. As awkward as it probably was, at least they’re being realistic. Most parents just ignore that part of their kids’ relationships.

But it’s still dumb. Like we’re not anywhere close to making that decision. Are we?

I’m not. I mean, I hope we’re getting serious, but I’m not ready for that.

I let out a sigh of relief. 

Good, because I’m not either. I mean, I like you… I like you a lot. But, I’m just getting used to being your girlfriend. And honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. I mean, I never… well, y’know.

I’ve never either, actually…

You haven’t? I was a little taken aback. Given his relationship with Claire, I had sort of assumed he was experienced sexually.

No. I mean, we did stuff, but we never had actual sex. Our relationship was too rocky for me to feel comfortable to do that.

Wow, I didn’t know. I kinda just assumed. Sorry.

It’s okay, it’s not your fault.

No. You’d think for someone who hates people making assumptions about her, that I wouldn’t be so quick to make them about someone else. I’m sorry.

It’s okay. It just goes to show that just because it was a long relationship doesn’t make it a good one. It took me a long time to realize that. And as embarrassing as it is, I’m glad I’m still a virgin. I’m glad I didn’t make the mistake of being truly intimate with the wrong person.

I smiled. I liked that he put thought into his actions, or lack thereof. Having Mike, not only my brother, but as my only real friend for the last seven years, meant that I knew a lot about what teenage boys thought about teenage girls. And Ashton’s concept of sex was not necessarily unheard of, but definitely a rarity. At least, it was rare to say it out loud. It was nice to know that he took things seriously.

That’s not to say that I don’t think about sex, he was still typing. But, I don’t know… I just don’t want you to think that I’m going to pressure you into something that you’re not ready for. Like, I’m not that guy.

I smiled more. If it was one thing I knew about Ashton in our very short time together, it was that he was one of the good ones.

The rest of the week at school was much like the first day had been. Ashton and I walked from class to class with his arm slung around my shoulders, our fingers intertwined. The classes themselves had progressed from first day formalities to a “let’s get started because we have a lot to cover” pace that I found comfort in. The onslaught of assignments and deadlines made me breathe easier.

Friday, as I was getting everything from my locker at the end of the day, Ashton came up, his hair damp from his shower. “Hey, is it cool if Mike takes you home today?”

I paused what I was doing to stare at him. Ashton had taken me home all week, why didn’t he want to today? Why? Is everything okay? I asked, trying to keep my face neutral.

“Yeah. I just want to take care of a few things at home before I pick you up tonight.”

Are we going somewhere?

“Yeah, we’re going to the drive-in, remember?”

Oh, yeah.

“I’ll pick you up at 7, okay?” He kissed me just long enough for me to feel his lips on mine, but short enough to leave me wishing for more.

At ten minutes to seven, I sat on the couch, fidgeting. I had changed into jeans to ward off any nighttime chill and was debating bringing a jacket, but finally decided that my flannel would be enough. I continued to fidget as the clock got closer to seven, nervous about our first “real” date.

When the doorbell rang- the light in the entryway flashing brightly- I jumped and practically ran to answer the door. “Hey,” Ashton said. “Ready to go?”

Yeah. I smiled, a sense of calm washing over me, all the nerves disappearing.

“Don’t be out too late,” came the warning call from my parents before they let us leave.

The September air was cool against my skin as we drove through town. “We got some time before the movie. You hungry?” he was asking as I took everything in; something I had been doing a lot lately.

Yeah, food sounds good.

He turned to look at me and smiled that breathtaking smile of his.

We sat in the corner booth of the diner, quietly eating. He put a fry in his mouth as I took a sip of my water. “Do you ever drink anything else?” he asked, wiping ketchup from the corner of his mouth.

No, not really.

He pushed his soda glass over to me. “Here, have some.”

I hesitantly took a small sip. The sugary sweetness was both overpowering and refreshing. It’s so sweet! I pushed the glass back over to him.

“But it’s good, isn’t it?”

I nodded. Yeah, it was good.

He laughed and pushed the glass to where we could both reach it easily. “Go for it, we get free refills.”

I took several more drinks as we finished our food.

After we had finished and Ashton paid the bill, we got back in the truck and drove to the drive-in. He paid for the tickets and then pulled into a spot backwards. We can’t see the screen from here. I gestured at the nothingness in front of us.

“Oh, we’re doing this right,” he said with a mischievous grin as he reached into the backseat. He pulled out 2 sleeping bags, a blanket, and 2 big pillows.

I got out of the truck and eyed him suspiciously as he climbed into the bed of the truck with his supplies. He laid out the 2 sleeping bags, one on top of the other. He carefully arranged the pillows near his back window, then he finally spread out the blanket. “Tada!” he gestured at his masterpiece makeshift bed. “Come on,” he held out his hand to help me into the bed.

I sat on the sleeping bags and reclined into the pillows. Okay, this is pretty nice, I admitted.

“Good. Get comfortable. I’m gonna go get us some popcorn and drinks.” He kissed me before he climbed out of the truck.

I stretched out in the makeshift bed, laughing. Only Ashton would be this clever. He had clearly thought of everything. The second sleeping bag added just enough extra padding so lying on the truck bed wasn’t uncomfortable. The pillows provided a soft place to lay my head, and the blanket was thin enough so I wasn’t hot, but thick enough to ward off the September night chill.

Later, I wouldn’t remember the movie. But I would always remember his body pressed up against mine as we stared up at the stars.

When the credits finally rolled we reluctantly got out of the truck bed. I stood there, shivering, suddenly wishing I had brought a jacket. He stopped packing everything to reach into the truck. “Here,” he said, draping a grey zip up hoodie over my shoulders.

I slipped my arms inside and zipped up the hoodie, letting the warmth envelop me.

“Better?” he asked as he went back to cleaning everything up.

I nodded, holding my hands to my mouth and breathing in his scent. Thanks.

He looked over at me and let out a small laugh. “You’re cute, y’know that?”

I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘awkward’.

He stepped towards me and wrapped me in his arms. “No. I meant ‘cute.’ Breathtaking, actually.”

I was grateful it was dark so he couldn’t see how red my face got.

He drove me back home, me watching as his mouth moved to sing with the radio. “Sorry we didn’t actually watch the movie,” he finally said as he pulled up in front of my house.

We never really seem to do what we say we will, do we?

“No, we really don’t,” he laughed. “You still had fun though, right?”

I always have fun with you. It doesn’t matter to me what we do.

“Me too. I’ll see you tomorrow after your doctor’s appointment?”

Yeah, I’ll text you. I hadn’t told him about my decision to get a Cochlear implant. I told him that my doctor’s appointment was just a typical routine checkup thing. I kissed him before I opened my door and hopped out. I closed the door and made my way to the porch.

His hand grabbed my shoulder.

I jumped, startled by his touch, wondering when he had gotten out of the truck to get my attention. What? I asked once I had turned to face him.

“You think you can kiss me like that and then just leave?” he asked.

Yes? I was slightly confused. Was there something I was supposed to do instead?

“You do realize that you just kissed me, right? Like actually kissed me. Not on my cheek, and not without me kissing you first.”

I quickly replayed every kiss we shared in my head. It was true, I hadn’t kissed him once on the lips without him kissing me first. Until two seconds ago. Huh… I suppose I did.

His eyes were shining brightly. “Yeah. You did.”

I shrugged. It was bound to happen sometime. I wasn’t sure why he was making a big deal of it. Maybe if I had taken months to kiss him on my own, that’d be cause for celebration. But a week was hardly anything to make a fuss over.

“Keep doing it,” he said.

If I keep kissing you, we’d never do anything else.

“And that’s a bad thing?” he challenged.

I didn’t say that. I kissed him again. Good night.

“Night,” he breathed as he watched me walk away.

I closed the door behind me and watched out the window as he walked to his truck. He looked at the house one last time, smiling wide. Then, with a laugh and a shake of his head, he got in his truck and drove away. I almost felt bad I was keeping the Cochlear implant a secret, especially from him since he was a huge reason I wanted it. Almost, but I decided that I wanted it to be a surprise for him when I could finally hear that laugh of his for myself.

“Okay, Madison,” Dr. Parker said as she signed, after a series of tests. “It’s gonna be a long journey to surgery and after surgery. But it’s doable, as long as you stay determined.”

Really?!

“Yes, really. As long as you stay determined.”

Oh, I’m determined.

[operationrainfall]

Title Woven Developer Alterego Games Publisher Alterego Games Release Date November 15th, 2019 Genre Adventure, Puzzle Platform PC, Nintendo Switch, PS4, Xbox One Age Rating E for Everyone 10+ – Fantasy Violence Official Website

I really wanted to love Woven. After all, I was one of the original backers of the unsuccessful Kickstarter project, and was duly impressed by Alterego Games’ decision to self publish the project afterwards. The premise of Woven was really compelling and different, taking place in a soft world of woolen yarn and fabric that is being invaded by strange mechanical insects. Our hero is a goofy elephant named Stuffy, and he quickly comes across a new friend, a firefly-shaped robot named Glitch. Together, they set out to discover the truth and explore this world, transforming and reweaving Stuffy to scale various obstacles along the way. If only the adventure had lived up to that fantastic premise.

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Woven is the sort of game that would have made my childhood self smile. It plays out like a live action Winnie the Pooh, in a calm and mellow land where all that matters is relaxation and finding flowers. At least at first. Stuffy is a very amicable protagonist, but not the brightest bulb. A fact that is repeatedly referenced by the game’s narrator. The narrator’s tenor sounds very British, and at first I enjoyed how his paired sentences usually rhymed. It does grow old rather quickly though, especially when you realize that the narrator is not gonna help you much with direction. If you get lost at all, he’ll start reminiscing like a grandfather with dementia, talking about the birds in the sky and the fish in the sea. None of which is helpful. Which wouldn’t be a problem, except for the fact that getting lost is a regular occurrence in Woven. Or at least it was for me. I managed to get stuck about 5 minutes into the game, in what would be considered the tutorial area. That’s because the game doesn’t hold your hand much, and trusts you’re clever enough to pick up on the clues in your environment. Sadly, what Woven thinks is plainly evident very rarely is. Case in point, the very first blueprint machine I came across gave no guidance how to operate it. I eventually figured it out, but it was a sign of things to come.

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There’s dozens of blueprint machines spread across Woven’s 5 regions, including meadows, deserts and jungles, and each blueprint gives Stuffy new transformation options. To unlock the blueprint, you play a little musical mini-game by operating mechanical levers to select notes. Though this was confusing initially, I grew to enjoy the mini-game. At first I assumed that each animal form would have set limbs, but you can mix and match after you acquire several, creating bizarre chimeras. Case in point, you can pair Pig legs with Lion arms and a Rhino head. You can even have two different arms or legs simultaneously. Each body part has different capabilities that allow various actions. You’ll need these to solve puzzles and make your way through the game. Though Woven is nominally a linear experience, the world is so wide open it’s easy to not immediately know where to head next. A good example was when I came across a short hilltop ringed with mountains, with a circular passage full of cranky yak creatures. I could stomp my foot to force the Yaks to move, but after moving in a complete circle, I wasn’t sure what to do. I eventually found the solution online in a very helpful playthrough, but it was frustrating being on the cusp of a solution and having no idea where to go next. This was due to the fact many of the puzzles in Woven are time based, but they don’t tell you they are. If a clock had showed up indicating I had a certain amount of time, I would have known to hurry up. And the farther I got in the game, the more complex and active the puzzles got. I much preferred the puzzles that required thinking but not fast reflexes.

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While it’s clearer why you would want to transform Stuffy to progress, it’s less clear how to use color palettes called patterns. You’ll find tons of flowers as you wander about, and by stomping your foot, they’ll open up and allow Glitch to scan them. You can also scan some animals for these, but they rarely sit still, so you’ll either need to be quick or find a way to distract or incapacitate them. Lastly, there’s patches you’ll randomly find on the map to unlock patterns. Patterns do a couple of things. On the one hand, they let you decorate Stuffy at the knitting machines, making him look as fancy or hideous as you please. You might be more surprised to realize you need some for puzzles. An example are giant snakes that block your progress unless you match their pattern. There’s another cool segment where a mechanical spider will pounce on you unless you blend in with the background. I don’t mind using patterns strategically, but it’s very easy to not scan the right one, and then be forced to backtrack until you find it. Some sort or an indicator of where key items resided would have helped, but there’s no such thing. And given the wide open format of Woven, it’s rather easy to get lost and miss the proper patterns. Oh and did I mention there’s more than 100 of them spread across the entire game? Which makes it even more daunting when you manage to pass one without realizing it.

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You may be wondering what Glitch does, and the simple answer is he operates every mechanical device you interact with. He turns on the blueprint machines and knitters, scans items and can also use his light to illuminate dark caves. The little firefly is pretty helpful, and his backstory ties directly into the plot of Woven. You’ll find lots of nodes that reveal bits and pieces of his lost memory as you go. I won’t spoil it, but suffice to say there’s a reason Glitch feels so strongly pulled by the planet’s moon. I wish I could say Stuffy’s backstory was as interesting, but he’s almost an incidental character. He could literally be anything or anybody else, and it wouldn’t change the course of the game. I never knew much about the elephant, other than he was apparently simple, cowardly and loved flowers. It’s not clear how long he’s been around, what he did before Glitch or anything really. He’s just there to progress the story, and that’s a shame, especially since he’s nominally the main character.

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Not everything in the game works poorly. I did find it handy how the different Joy-Con controlled Stuffy and Glitch, respectively. And I appreciated visual prompts indicating what abilities I needed to get past obstacles, and found the camera easy to operate. The problem was primarily with the game’s physics. Woven is a wide open 3D world, but often what seems a clear path forward ends up tripping you up with invisible stage geometry. Bushes often kept me from moving forward, which was awkward. As a fan of platformers, I found this made Woven a lot harder to enjoy, since I was never clear if I could progress or not. Sometimes you do actually need different abilities tied to animal parts, such as jumping or pushing, but you never know in advance. So if I came to an area with a puzzle and had the wrong parts, I would have to backtrack all the way to the nearest knitting machine and reweave my elephant friend. I really think it would have been much easier if Stuffy could fast travel to these, since they’re spaced rather far apart and it’s not very fun walking about. Failing that, I would have loved a mini-map, since that would have cut down how often I got lost in Woven dramatically.

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Visually, Woven has a cute storybook aesthetic. There’s lots of bright colors and soft details. While I have no problem with that, I do have a problem with the graphical fidelity. I will mention I played the Switch version of the game, and from what little research I’ve done, it runs far better on other consoles. I normally don’t complain about things like framerate or the like, and usually find most games I play on Switch run great, but oftentimes the graphics here were muddy and fuzzy. Simply put, this game suffers from Bloodstained syndrome, meaning every other iteration of the game plays better than the one on Nintendo consoles. Which is truly a shame, since this is the perfect sort of all ages game that would otherwise appeal to a lot of Nintendo gamers. Musically the game is frankly dull, and quite muted musically. Sound effects lack punch, and actions often don’t have the proper impact as a result. When Stuffy punches a box out of his way, it just slides quietly out of place. Much like the rest of the game, aesthetically Woven is a very mixed bag.

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While I hate to add onto my other complaints, I have a few more. For one thing, I find it completely awkward how Stuffy always looks at Glitch as he runs forward, contorting his head to follow the firefly everywhere. That’s minor, but a more significant issue relates to the linearity of the game. If you miss any collectibles or achievements, you can’t get them until the next time you play through the game from the beginning. Once you reach a new area, there’s no backtracking, and the game auto saves. So if you’re one of those people that loves to platinum games, best of luck. And finally, while I don’t mind the general lack of combat in the game, it makes it that much more challenging when you have to contend with the final boss.

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Much as I wanted to love Woven, I left the experience quite disappointed. There was promise here, but for whatever reason it wasn’t met. If you don’t mind clumsy physics and very complex and vague puzzles, you might enjoy what’s here. Even then, it’s a hard pill to swallow at $19.99. Though you can beat the game in less than 5 hours, it took me around 9 due to getting lost repeatedly. So at least you’ll get some bang for your buck. This is one of those games I recommend you pick up on a sale. Hopefully Alterego Games has more ideas they can breathe life into in the future, cause I’d honestly like to see them succeed. In the meantime, I’ll lament this tale of an elephant and his firefly buddy.

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[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”1.5″]

Review Copy Provided By Publisher

REVIEW: Woven Title Woven

[gg-astrology]

Sagittarius sun with a Gemini moon? What are your thoughts on how they would be?

Hey there! 💕Here ya go I did my best 💕 I hope you didn’t wait too long ksdjnsk im so sorry ;; 💕💕 im working from bottoms up and only just got to urs 💕

[Below Cut: Sagittarius Sun - Gemini Moon  🧞‍♂️ ]

Clever and lucky...what a good combination to have

I nearly had half the mind to put a clover leaf for this combination because they somehow always seem to get by -- being playful and autonomous, detached and friendly without compromising themselves/binding themselves down completely to anything (belonging to everything).

But i feel like the genie is better-- it talks about the wandering spirit Sagittarius/Gemini has. They touch and go, learn and grow, but without anyone around them who’s consistent/stead-fast throughout their entire life.

These people have the ability to come across as someone who’s incredibly anxious skdjngskn but that in itself is a survival skill, they skrrrt so fast when someone tries to make them stay/figure them out deeper than what they’re willing to show, there’s a fear of vulnerabilities/intimacy that comes with the territory. Because they feel like if they ‘open’ that up--- it’s a whole can of worms that could potentially turn into upsetting their moods, and they are always defined by what mood they’re in.  

They also don’t like it when they themselves are held accountable for their own words/action. Because sometimes they 1) ‘cant remember what they said/thats too specific/detailed/technical’ 

Or 2) did something that they said they weren’t going to do bc they already ‘grew past what they said/that phrase in their life’ even tho it was like-- 15 minutes ago.

Can’t hold them accountable for themselves?? Lack a lil self-discipline which y know, might be endearing to a certain age/expected of the environment -- but in the long-run, the thought of ‘oh god am i going to get anywhere/manifest anything in 10 years’ freaks them out sometimes (causes anxiety to spike) so -- they don’t like to think too hard about these things (selective, with what they’re thinking about/spend their time thinking about. Watch for this)

Which--also directly contributes to why they have a problem with self-discipline. They’d rather wait for these ‘periods’ of anxiety to rise again and again and then subdue them again and again. 

Than --- y know, actually putting it into action/doing something about it realistically (through effort) and help their own future instead.

They’re easily discouraged by set backs too, especially the financial/circumstantial kinds. Any kinds of upsets/mishaps or challenges that comes from those areas makes them spiral directly into despair. That’s why they lack self-discipline somewhat--bc they themselves can’t ‘hold up’ their moods against slight disappointment/challenges made against them.

(A way to help is to learn perseverance, consistency. Look towards Taurus/Earth signs for help. Since they can be dedicated/stead-fast, but lets you have your own autonomy if ONLY you learn how to actually open up and ask them for help without feeling ‘shitty/guilty’ about doing it)  

Another thing they do is just kinda, try to relieve the pressure/tension so they ‘lighten’ it up. One of these coping mechanism can be making it into a joke/divert it away from the severity of the situation 

(It’s not that severe you’ll get along fine with how you are, it’s just-- you’re always going to be stuck in your own ways and always anxious if you don’t gain any stable grounds for yourself too yknow?)

They can sometimes just think of ‘taking action/actually committing to something’ as being personal attacks, and anyone who tries to suggest/teach them to do this is lashed out against bc it ‘restricts their luck/optimism’ (again, their self-preservation and first priority is always their freedom/autonomy and that comes in the territory of ‘mood’ as well. Unable to take any other ‘mood’ other than light and airy, sometimes thinking of things as ‘learning how to cope/accept different moods for yourself and be ok with working on it’ can help) 

Sagittarius/Gemini person have plenty of extroverted/playful persona, someone knows Whats up with people bc they aren’t afraid to dive into it/ask about it. 

That’s like-- the ‘smooth’ persona they use to get by y know? it’s their extroverted persona instead of-- actually doing something for themselves that binds/balance both sides together and actually help lesson their anxiety at it’s core fear. Which is what they kinda have to realize (that it’s all interconnected) 

In a way they can just--- fear not being optimistic and actually having to be ‘down’ about something because the ‘reality’ of their fear is just that. 

Part of them might just be afraid of how others sees them, if they aren’t going to be ‘good’ to themselves/others anymore bc they’re less optimistic than before.

Bounded by the same rules as others (societal expectations/longevity of life). They’d rather ‘represent’ something else-- hope, optimism, but y know. Same problem anyways. The anxiety and ‘diversion’ from the norm will only make them feel like they can’t ever....actually face their problems/starting at ground 0 again (feels like it’s too late to start, which is-- a part of their fear again) 

I think--- hmm, the thing that might help Sagittarius/Gemini is to just take it simply. They’re the type of person who likes to taste, to explore a large variety of experience, themes, hobbies, life. But they’re unaware that they’re pretty constrained in their-- well, emotional health? Their moods?

They take what they want, preach but doesn’t learn as much as they think they do. They’re selective in what they want to learn about, what they’re ‘ready’ for. And sometimes-- the hardest lesson in life is learning the things that are ‘truthful’ and ‘helpful’ which might not be-- all fun and nice all the times.

By learning the values in hard lessons, in accepting the sober and uncomfortable ‘moods’-- they’ll be much better adapted at handling/dealing with their anxious energy as well. 

Ok that’s-- that’s very heavy, let’s move onto some other stuff!

These people are Chatty, but like...has so much going on they need some time away too skdnfksn

Sagittarius/Gemini sometimes feel like their mouth/brain moves faster than what they can control (causes restlessness/frustration)...so if they leave themselves to like, socialize for more than 24 hrs at a time they’re going to come back going ‘oh god why did i say that/what have i done’

Frustration at themselves for oversharing/hit-the-wall feeling of having nothing left to share??? Mutable energy has so much energy that it often makes their strongest ‘frustration’ letting themselves ‘go’ too much 

(Because if they have ‘nothing left to share’ then that only means they’ll have to be repetitive and god they hate that. It’s not new/fresh and it’s not-- it’s not contributing to anything)

Thus why they seek to sometimes hide themselves away, be away from people in order to y know-- gather resources/energy to NOT be too much/expend their energy too much on the outside (and also lowkey to not Make a Fool also)

This is from an outsider’s perspective but also like....I’m always conscious thinking about Gemini as the Twin and it’s not just one side to them y know

I think we tend to think Gemini as being extroverted all the time when it’s not usually like that. They’re the twin...it’s a cycle... there’s two sides to the coin that needs to be processed

Their energy works in a cycle, continuous and moving, the twin isn’t just speaking out-loud/alone, it’s speaking/looping between two people. 

If they don’t spend enough time thinking/gaining resource/fuel they over-share because they over-exert themselves....when they spend too much time internalizing/adding things onto their resources they get frustrated, restless, antsy and wants to ‘explode’ this onto social realm

So it’s like....they gotta be in a ‘Moment’ where they can both gain resources/information and process/drop the information in a continuous cycle -- quicker, constant, faster y know (Mercurial sign) 

Instead of ‘stopping’ the motion and ‘pacing’ themselves-- the Sagittarius/Gemini is all about working at a faster pace than the one the world moves at....the one that if ‘man-made’ or controlled, would be detrimental to them

It’s a mixture of Sagittarius fire impulses, ‘doing’ things making them feel productive (and so not depriving them of those gratification by dropping them slower than normal) and then Gemini being naturally fast moving already-- being able to gather large (jupiter) information and then process them/cycling them through (release- mercury) is how they gain gratification/work perfectly in balance with themselves

Thing is-- they work --- super fast, faster than most people operate so it can be hard for others to keep up and keep them stimulated all the time

That’s ok, since Sagittarius/Gemini wouldn’t mind talking to just -- like, anyone. When they need to anyways. With great communicative ability, eloquence and friendliness/open-ness to them, they make others feel welcomed to talk. Even when they’re normally quiet/with-drawn mostly bc the Sagittarius/Gemini keeps the conversation going for them.

The thing is, Sagittarius/Gemini may rarely keep anyone around. Or rather, they sometimes ‘forget’ about people sometimes bc they move along so quickly and boldly-- and they judge others based on the interactions they’ve had, whether they’ve ‘stuck’ around in their mind or not. So it’s--- it can be kind of hard to think these people would belong anywhere, find anyone they truly stay ‘stuck’ with unless the person would be able to listen to them/keep up with them mentally a lot of the time.

Also these people aren’t afraid to be eccentric, they have good judgement. It might be a lil quirky or different, but Jupiter/Mercury never find joy in the TOTALLY conventional anyways.

And if they like something, they just-- keep doing it, keep pursuing it because it gives them stimuli (hobbies/interest) although they can have a large array of interests--as long as they’re ‘doing’ something physically with it they can keep themselves engaged/make it into a quantifiable project (see the results: the multitude of their craft/project at the end and look back on themselves like ‘wow i did this all in this year’) 

That’s the thing isn’t it? They like seeing quantifiable ‘proof’ that they did something productive (fire moon-physical proof) -- they like to see that, although they are careless and forgetful sometimes. They did amount to something in the end.

It all comes down to-- y know, learning lessons. self-discipline. because you can’t keep closing your eyes, blinding painting random swatches and hoping it’ll turn out into something manifestable/painting that’s ‘oh thats better than expected!’ all the time y know. (you can’t keep seeing disasterous results as ‘aw thats ok :(( maybe next time’ when you’re just?? depending on luck?? to get by???)

Anyways, I hope I didn’t go in too hard ;;  💕💕💕Hope you gain some insights from this! 💕💕

[needsmoresarcasm]

Favorite Books of 2018

I read a lot of books in 2018. Here are my favorites (not counting books I re-read), in basically no order. (But actually kind of an order.)

22. Going Rogue, Drew Hayes

Going Rogue is the third book in Drew Hayes’s Spells, Swords, and Stealth series. The series is told in two parts: it follows a group of people playing a Dungeons & Dragons-style role-playing game and a group of non-playable characters in the world of said game. The thrust of the story is on the group of NPCs, which unfolds as a typical fantasy adventure. It’s got a straightforward quest narrative, an adventuring party (turned found family), and impossible odds. As the stories progress, the players begin to sense that the game has its own agency and the characters begin to sense that there may be someone controlling their world. But mostly it’s a fun, self-aware take on a typical fantasy adventure that toys with fantasy tropes. 

21. Americanah, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I steeled myself for dense literary fiction when I cracked open Americanah, the story of Ifemelu, a Nigerian girl who moves to America and wrestles with race and identity. But that was all for naught because Americanah was one of the easiest reads of the year. The writing is breezy, and the story is funny and brisk. It dissects race and culture in America both by showing (Ifemelu’s struggles to define herself in a new country) and telling (Ifemelu’s hilarious blog posts). Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie seems to have perfected the art of delivering dense observations in delightful, consumer-friendly prose. Old white dude authors should probably take note.

20. What If It’s Us, Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera

If I’m going to read a romance, I want it to be light, fluffy, gay, and conflict-free. And that’s exactly what What If It’s Us delivers. The book begins with a meet cute: while mailing a box of his ex-boyfriend’s stuff, Ben bumps into Arthur at the post office. Arthur and Ben are both appropriately awkward and endearing, bumbling and pawing their way through a relationship as only teenagers can. Every character is essentially kind and caring. There are no villains or bullies, no one gets ostracized or beaten, no one dies. The tension mostly stems from the fact that Arthur is only in the city for the summer, which only barely counts as a conflict. And while the universe of the story may be unrealistically polished, their relationship is refreshingly imperfect. Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli are telling a story of young love, not necessarily true love.

19. The Collapsing Empire / The Consuming Fire, John Scalzi

John Scalzi built an astoundingly engrossing world in The Collapsing Empire. The human race has colonized far flung planets with the help of the Flow system, naturally occurring pathways between various planets across the universe that allows otherwise impossible interstellar travel. The Collapsing Empire follows the sharp, sarcastic Cardenia Wu, the newly crowned empress, and sweet, in-over-his-head Marce Claremont, a Flow physicist in far-flung End who has discovered something off with the Flow. It’s got a roiling pace, packed with space battles, political jockeying, and a whole host of delightful characters. It’s one of those audiobooks (narrated by Wil Wheaton) that was so compulsively listenable that I ended up taking long, meandering walks just to hear what happened next.

18. The Shell Collector, Anthony Doerr

Anthony Doerr’s writing is incredible. His sentences all feel divined from the ether. And the short story is the perfect vehicle for that writing, lasting just long enough to build an atmospheric world. Most of the stories are tinged with a little magical realism, used mostly to underscore the unique, grounded humanity of his characters. The collection dives into the histories of people who are in various degrees removed from society and intertwined with nature. But the ultimate thesis, refreshingly, is not about the corruption of society, but rather the inherent value of people.

17. Giovanni’s Room, James Baldwin 

I don’t know that I have anything new or interesting to say about James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room. A story about desire, and maybe love, between David and Giovanni, every word of that book is filled with intense, crushing emotion desperately crashing onto the pages. It’s about love and sexuality, told in an intimate-verging-on-claustrophobic manner. It’s powerful and interminably depressing and beautiful and devastating. But it’s not devastating because it’s gay, it’s just both devastating and gay.

16. Goodbye, Vitamin, Rachel Khong

Goodbye, Vitamin opens with the main character, Ruth, going through a breakup and dealing with early signs of her father’s Alzheimer’s disease. And somehow, Goodbye, Vitamin is also fun, funny, and heart-warming. The book is sunny and endearing, even as Ruth herself struggles with caring for her father and finding her own identity. Most things described as quirky may be better described as annoying, but there truly is no better word for this book’s sensibility than quirky. The specificity of the descriptions and the cleverness of the wordplay make for a delightful, sometimes deeply poignant, read.

15. Less, Andrew Sean Greer

In many ways, Less shares beats with the incredibly overdone, deeply uninteresting novel about a middle-aged white guy who goes through a midlife crisis and suffers the pain of his own brilliance. Indeed, Less follows Arthur Less as he hits fifty, gets invited to his ex’s wedding, and then travels around the world to avoid confronting any of his problems. But Less is decidedly different: it’s gay. Which means it’s funnier, sharper, and drastically more self-aware. Arthur Less - and Andrew Sean Greer - recognizes the absurdity of his disproportionate reaction to relatively minor problems. He has no delusions of grandeur. He’s not on a journey to unlock his inner genius, just a journey to maybe buy a new jacket and have a fling or two. It’s delightful and funny and warm even as it pretends not to be.

14. More Happy Than Not, Adam Silvera

The devastation of More Happy Than Not cuts in sharp pains and deep gashes. The tragic turns - and in a book about a teenage kid who considers a science fiction equivalent of gay conversion therapy there are many - come as punches to the face, not as lingering aches. And yet, the book doesn’t feel punishing to read. Adam Silvera derives no pleasure from Aaron’s, the aforementioned teen, suffering and carefully builds the foundation of Aaron’s character on his triumphs and joys. Aaron’s life is vibrant and bristling with possibility, streaked, but not consumed, by pain. More Happy Than Not is meticulously plotted and paced, with a few moments of genuine surprise. As always, Adam Silvera writes about tragedy in an entirely uncynical way, with a deep well of generosity for his characters.  

13. Witchmark, C.L. Polk

In many ways, Witchmark feels like the book I spent this entire year trying to find. Witchmark takes place in a pseudo-historical early 20th century England-style setting, in the throes of some capital-W War. Most of the book is styled as a mystery: Miles, a former army doctor, and Tristan, a mysterious outsider, track down clues and chase leads to find a murderer. And, of course, maybe they fall in love along the way. And, oh yeah, Miles is a witch. Oh and also, maybe there’s some royal family drama happening as well. And maybe also some government conspiracies. And also maybe a much larger mystery that involves all of the above. There’s magic and romance and mystery and intrigue and action, and every part of it is completely satisfying. Especially if you’re the type of person who would like to read a scene in which said army doctor needs help undressing because he broke his wrist, and luckily there’s (literally magically) handsome mystery man there to help him!!! (Listen, I never said this was particularly profound literature.) But like, five stars.

12. Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore / Sourdough, Robin Sloan

If you want a cozy, feel-good novel that has just the slightest dash of magic, then pick up a Robin Sloan book. Both Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore and Sourdough read as relaxing balms to help soothe aches brought on by the disaster fire of reality. In both books, a young twenty-something attempting to figure out their life discovers a niche world (book collecting and bread baking) and gets swept up in a fantastical mystery. They’re breezy, warm, and brimming with genuine affection and curiosity for the subjects at their centers. Sloan’s writing is incredibly sensory; you can taste the bread and smell the books. They have that Great British Bake Off quality to them: impossibly compelling despite low stakes and uniform pleasantness.

11. Little Fires Everywhere, Celeste Ng

Celeste Ng’s second novel is a careful study of privilege of all sorts, and an especially incisive look into whiteness. Little Fires Everywhere takes place in Shaker Heights, Ohio, a progressive slice of white suburbia. At the book’s center are the Richardsons, a well-off white family who are the types of people that may tell you that they don’t see race--in part because everyone they see is also white.  Things get shaken up when Mia Warren and her daughter Pearl arrive in town, marked as strange by their relative lack of wealth, and marked as even stranger by their lack of shame about it.  Each sentence is beautifully written, and each paragraph immaculately constructed. But honestly, the book is best summed up as: this is some white people nonsense.

10. The Lymond Chronicles (#1-6), Dorothy Dunnett

The Lymond Chronicles books are both the most high brow and most low brow books I read this year. They are densely written and plotted, with an inexhaustible supply of names for characters and teeming with minute details that almost all portend some future event or revelation. But they’re also chock-full of soap opera-style twists and tropes, aimed to quench your id’s every desire. All this makes for books that demand a lot, but then pay off with hilarious jokes, action sequences that convey more physicality and movement than most movies, and ridiculous third act reveals that are so incredibly satisfying. And like, on a selfish level,  it’s also real satisfying to read about people falling in love with and then aggressively berating Francis Crawford for three thousand pages. (He deserves it.)

9. My Life as a Goddess, Guy Branum

I read, or rather listen to, tons of memoirs - by comedians, actors, politicians, and writers. And Guy Branum’s My Life as a Goddess is easily my favorite of the year. Branum incisively writes about growing up as a gay kid in truly the-middle-of-nowhere California, touching on issues of masculinity, sexuality, class, body image, and education. Unsurprisingly, My Life as a Goddess is hilarious, chock-full of jokes and witty observations. More surprisingly, My Life as a Goddess is also deeply emotional, especially as Branum writes about his relationship as his father. Even more surprisingly, My Life as a Goddess is weirdly informative about a very specific slice of Canadian history. I cannot recommend the audiobook of this enough, as Guy Branum’s narration is smart, funny, and winning.

8. All the Light We Cannot See, Anthony Doerr

Does anyone really want to read a Pulitzer Prize winning literary fiction novel written by some white dude about World War II half from the point of view of a goddamn Nazi? No. No one wants to read that. Except, maybe I do. Because that’s exactly what All the Light We Cannot See is, and man is it a true revelation. The sheer humanity that Doerr imparts in his story creates a profoundly moving story, about goodness and cruelty and the indiscriminate destruction of war. The events of the story are uniformly bleak, as expected in a World War II novel, and yet the book’s tone feels decidedly hopeful, hungry to extract optimism from human persistence. It’s a stunningly written book that lays bare the complexities of people and the horrors of war.

7. Bad Blood, John Carreyrou

Bad Blood was truly the most unbelievable story I read this year. Wizards? Aliens? Time travel? All relatively believable compared to the intense, densely plotted, thrilling tale that unravels in Bad Blood, made all the more incredible by its truth. Bad Blood tells the story of Theranos, a Silicon Valley startup that claimed to be revolutionizing blood testing, and its founder Elizabeth Holmes, once described on magazine covers as “the next Steve Jobs.” John Carreyrou, the author, was the journalist who first broke the story of Theranos’s rampant fraud, and he stitches together a coherent, mesmerizing narrative from first-hand accounts of Theranos employees. Elizabeth Holmes is a fascinating antagonist, an ambitious, callous, maybe sociopath. The story is exciting and frustrating and will make you have even less faith in rich, powerful white people. But because this is non-fiction, the entire time you know that Elizabeth Holmes is  eventually going to end up being charged with numerous federal crimes. A truly satisfying ending.

6. Hyperbole and a Half, Allie Brosh

Allie Brosh didn’t invent the internet, but she at least has as much claim to modern internet culture as any other individual. Hyperbole and a Half is a collection of her best blog posts, with some additional, equally hilarious, stories thrown in. I hadn’t revisited her blog in years, and so it was striking just how little her style has aged. In a time where internet memes have life spans measured in hours, Hyperbole and a Half feels fresh nearly a decade later. The influence of her style and perspective on the internet is far-reaching. From the hilarious (her distinctively drawn self-rendering triumphantly declaring “CLEAN ALL THE THINGS” while holding a broom) to the insightful (her two-part essay on the amorphous gray muck of depression), her stories all feel as though they could be the origin story for any piece of internet ephemera. Hyperbole and a Half is at times farcical, at times poignant, and always raucously funny.

5. Shades of Magic (#1-3), V.E. Schwab

The Shades of Magic series (A Darker Shade of Magic, A Gathering of Shadows, and A Conjuring of Light) is the perfect fantasy adventure: the characters are imminently rootable, the world is seeped in magic, and the plot is intoxicating. The books are set in London, or Londons, rather. There are four parallel Londons, which have embraced, rejected, or surrendered to magic to varying degrees. Our protagonist, Kell, is one of the few with the ability to travel between the different Londons. And, well, hijinks ensue. Dark, sprawling, brutal, violent, life-consuming hijinks.

The Shades of Magic series is unburdened by its worldbuilding; V.E. Schwab could probably teach a semester’s worth of history lessons on her world, but does not feel the need show that off in the books themselves. They’re books to be devoured, not dissected. But it’s the characters that make the series so engrossing. Everyone is an archetype-a street-worn thief, a charming prince-but so well-drawn and understood that every character moment sparkles. And the central relationship of the book, between Kell and his brother Rhy, felt as though it was perhaps extracted directly from my brain. Kell is stoic, burdened by responsibility but determined to protect. Rhy, the aforementioned charming prince, injects Kell’s life with mischief and levity, and they’re so fundamentally dedicated to each other that it hurts. If a bunch of well-meaning idiots trying to save the world with magic is your thing, A Darker Shade of Magic may be the series for you.

4. Everything I Never Told You, Celeste Ng

If you thought a quiet, contained rumination on race, gender, nationality, and culture couldn’t also be a compelling, tense page-turner, let me introduce you to Everything I Never Told You. Everything I Never Told You is nothing short of literary alchemy. It begins with the death of Lydia, the model daughter of the Lee family--and, really, the model daughter of 1970s America. The book unravels the mystery of Lydia’s death, told through the vignettes from the lives of the Lee family members.

Celeste Ng is a master at using a paragraph to describe years of a character’s history and decades of American society all at once. Her characters are specific and sharply drawn, rooted deeply in their time and environment. Lydia, with a Chinese father and a white mother,  is mixed race (a term not added to the U.S. Census until 2000)--“one of only two Orientals” at her school.  The other, her brother Nathan, has learned to live in Lydia’s shadow in their parents’ mind’s eye.  Marilyn, Lydia’s mother, had her own ambitions sidelined by family. With a deft, heartfelt touch, Everything I Never Told You viscerally conveys their regrets for the words left unsaid and lives left unlived.

3. History Is All You Left Me, Adam Silvera

As this list makes clear, I loved a lot of Adam Silvera this year, and History Is All You Left Me stands out as my favorite. In dual timelines, History Is All You Left Me tells the story of Griffin after and up to the accident in which his ex-boyfriend Theo dies unexpectedly. And so, yes, the book is soaked in grief and loss. And, yes, it’s devastating and aching. But it’s also incredibly kind and empathetic. The characters are teenagers and make the choices of teenagers. Their actions are messy and rash and stupid, and Silvera leans into that, landing more than one self-inflicted heart-wrenching blow. But Silvera is also unfailingly patient with teenagers and understands their resilience; he lets his characters make mistakes and has faith that they will survive. And so the book is heavy, but optimistic. A refreshing reprieve from the gratuitous suffering and bleakness that tortures so much LGBT-themed fiction.  History Is All You Left Me is the most affecting book I read all year, and it still lingers in my bones. But the impression it has left is of life, not loss.

2. An American Sickness, Elisabeth Rosenthal

I bristle when someone describes a book as “important.” It always seems patronizing and self-serving, and my natural contrarian kicks in. I get it, you want to tell everyone how well-read or socially conscious you are because you read an “important” book. So it is with eyes wide open, and more than a twinge of self-loathing, that I say An American Sickness is an important book. It feels like essential reading, certainly for anyone trying to affect American healthcare policy, and at the very least useful for anyone who ever has to deal with the American healthcare system. It will make you angry and frustrated, but hopefully it will also arm you with information.

An American Sickness is broken up into two distinct parts: the first half lays out the issues with the current healthcare system, including how it came to be, and the second half presents solutions. Dr. Elisabeth Rosenthal writes accessibly about potentially dry, dense subject matter. The book’s purpose is not to exhaustively detail the history of healthcare, but to better equip the average person to navigate the system. Dr. Rosenthal provides anecdotes to anchor the matter in tangible issues and gives just enough context to sketch the motivations of the various actors - doctors, hospitals, insurers, pharma companies, etc. She presents solutions from two perspectives: (1) changing healthcare policy as a whole, and (2) navigating the system as an individual. In a methodical, step-by-step manner, the book explains concrete things a regular person can look out for, questions they can ask, and actions they can take to avoid--or challenge--exorbitant medical bills. There’s literally an appendix with fill-in-the-blank form letters to use to request billing information and challenge bills. You don’t have to read this book, but I want you to.

1. Chemistry, Weike Wang

Sometimes a book is so intimately catered to you it’s as if the author waded through your subconscious, fished out the tangled threads of your thoughts, and then wove them into a tapestry that displayed every single one of your hopes, dreams, and aspirations. For me, that book is Chemistry. Chemistry follows an unnamed Asian American protagonist who is discontented with her current situation: her long-term boyfriend, her Chemistry PhD program, and her relationship with her parents. And the novel unfolds as she comes to terms with that discontentment.

The economy of Weike Wang’s writing is spellbinding. She uses words so efficiently and so cleverly to craft sentences that seem fundamental. On seemingly every page, there was a new observation that felt so obviously true that I was surprised I had never read those exact words before. The book is filled with jokes, driven by the protagonist’s wry sarcasm and gentle disdain for things and people generally. The whole thing is somehow both simple and complex, an easily digestible read with a deceptively complex flavor. There are no splashy revelations or sudden tragedies, only hard-earned emotional truths and the realities of getting by. Chemistry nails the general spirit of just attempting to function as a normal human person in 2018.

[mrskylerreviews-blog]

POPPY - AM I A GIRL? (Album Review)

           Only a year after the release of her debut album Poppy.Computer, the singer and ever-growing internet personality Poppy has returned with her second musical effort, titled Am I A Girl? This sophomore record sees our favorite android widening her range in lyrical content and production quality, offering a more polished and extensive view at the world through her sweet, robotic eyes. While her director Titanic Sinclair still had a hand in some of the songs on this album, there are also major collaborations with producers Diplo (owner of the label Poppy is signed to, Mad Decent) and Fernando Garibay (responsible for Lady Gaga’s ‘‘Alejandro’’ back in 2009).

           Am I A Girl? further progresses the narrative of the Poppy character, after the first album basically introduced who she was to the world, and commentated on the presence of technology and the internet in our modern society. This time, Poppy takes us on a more personal ride, as she begins questioning everything about her surroundings, from the reason of her existence on this world, to the fate that might await humanity due to pollution that we have caused ourselves. The first half of the record, though, is focused more on Poppy’s love for fashion, and a sassier and much firmer confidence that reassures the growth of the character. She isn’t a follower of what ‘‘They’’ want anymore. Poppy knows what she’s capable of and even though this album is based on a question that could define her entire life, it also presents her with answers that she may have been asking herself since she first started appearing on Youtube back in 2014.

1.      In A Minute: a solid opener for the album, this track shows a great combination of the material Poppy is known for, and a big step towards this new polished path she will be taking us on. With lyrics such as ‘‘I used to be free willing / Now I got work to do’’, we are presented head-on with the aforementioned confidence and sense of individuality that is to become the running theme throughout the record. Overall, In A Minute works perfect as an introduction to Am I A Girl?

2.      Fashion After All: although the theme of sass and confidence tried real hard to stretch enough for several songs on the album, Fashion After All feels a bit overdone and very easy to skip. While sing-talking about how she’s mother to many and the fact that she is relatable yet scary, the electropop production doesn’t really do its job of grasping the listener, as it sounds not too exciting or like something we haven’t heard before, and the lyrics can get tiring quick.

3.      Iconic: this track attempts a go with the inspiring and ‘‘even if you’re weird, you’re still so cool’’ concept that isn’t at all new for female pop singers. While the lyrics aren’t necessarily the most original and groundbreaking piece of handcrafted artistry, they succeed in delivering an uplifting and feel-good vibe to the listener, with the production matching the joyous energy that is supposed to carry the message. Poppy’s vocals also shift from low tones in the pre-chorus that we haven’t really heard from her before, to sweet and colorful falsettos that we all know and love.

4.      Chic Chick: this track feels like what Fashion After All should have been, and it is honestly a bit surprising that both of them made it on the album. Chic Chick is a punch to the face, with Poppy making it very clear that she’s here to do her business, she is classy yet a handful, and there is nothing you can do about it. Being the only song on the project to have an Explicit warning with the line ‘‘I’m a chic chick / If you don’t like it, suck my d*ck’’, the aggressiveness and the unapologetic tone of this track steers the album towards the right path. The synth guitar solo felt like a very nice touch for adding a bit of edge to the track, as it also suffers a bit of weakness with the electropop production.

5.      Time Is Up: being the lead single of the album, Time Is Up gave us our first glance of what Am I A Girl? was going to be, and we can all agree that the raise in production quality and 80s synth sound that Diplo gave us threw us all for a loop. Not only that, but the lyrics, which narrate Poppy’s perspective of waking up in a factory then realizing mankind is destroying their own home, truly solidify the strength of this track. She is telling us that all we really have achieved during our time on Earth is pollution, overpopulation and causing sickness to the planet, and that once we go extinct due to our irresponsibility, her android body will stay here to witness the aftermath of the mess we made. Time Is Up does an astounding job of delivering a very serious message, while doing so with a sound that is sure to capture the interest of mainstream music listeners.

6.      Aristocrat: this track makes me feel the most reminiscent of Poppy’s work from the Bubblebath EP back in 2016. Produced by Fernando Garibay, Aristocrat is a very theatrical and dramatic telling of how Poppy infiltrated a party in what feels like the late 1700s France, easily capturing the attention of all those who are royal due to her dancing abilities, without realizing that, as she puts it, she ‘‘got there from the gutter.’’ The track is fresh and new for what Poppy usually puts out, while somehow still giving a nod to her earlier musical efforts. Definitely one of the strongest in the album.

7.      Hard Feelings: this is where we start getting that personal inside look on Poppy’s life, and where she becomes more vulnerable with the questions she’s asking about herself, like why she’s falling so hard for her creator if she wasn’t meant to be capable of feeling in the first place. The track opens with some lines in French, asking somebody what they want from her. We see more of the vulnerability when in the pre-chorus she asks ‘‘Am I a replica of someone that you loved? / Someone you made me to replace?’’ Then we get a very interesting touch of heavy rock guitars smoothly blending into the track after the chorus, which reappear with just a bit more intensity during the bridge, without necessarily overpowering the song or ruining the soft honesty the song is meant to portray. Overall, Hard Feelings does its task of presenting Poppy as someone who has more worries than just being chic, and also subtly opens for the surprises that are to come later in the album.

8.      Girls In Bikinis: this track leans more to the failing side of the album, as it feels somewhat unnecessary and honestly quite boring. Sounding like something that would perhaps gain more attention in the late 90s if it were released by any other female phenomenon of pop, the only redeeming quality that Girls In Bikinis might just carry is the bisexual hinting Poppy throws throughout the song. Other than that, it quite frankly sounds nothing like a track we should be getting from her, even if this album is all about expanding and experimenting with sounds.

9.      The Rapture Ball: this is another track that also falls a bit weak, especially with its lyrics. Poppy sings about going to a party and seeing everybody arrive in limousines and dance in gowns, but really she just fails at actually creating a good enough atmosphere for this grand ball that we’re supposed to be intrigued by. Perhaps the line where she states that she never got to go to her prom were meant to give it a more personal touch, but the overall content still feels like it only scratched the surface of its potential. The song in its entirety seems to rely mostly on the one line ‘‘This is the best bang since the big one’’, almost like it’s supposed to be so clever and iconic that we’ll want to sing it over and over and just forget how lacking the end result of everything really is.

10.  Am I A Girl?: Picking up once again after the disappointment of the last two songs is the title track, Am I A Girl?, where Poppy urges the listener to please not try to resolve or define her as either male or female, because she is having a hard time even knowing what it truly means to be either of those. It is a very nice track to hear, starting with the pop sound that we got on the first half of the album, and then hitting us with a hard rock that blends perfectly with the frustration of the message. Poppy is basically declaring war against gender roles and the definition of gender itself, something refreshing to hear for people like me in the LGBT community.

11.  Play Destroy feat. Grimes: this is where things get intense. First off, I simply could not imagine a world where this song would sound any good without Grimes in it. Poppy does add her own edge, and the combination of both these artists’ weirdness is just grand. Grimes is what makes the song though, which is not at all a bad thing. We hear these girls so sweetly announce that they are going to drop a match into a gas tank and burn down the local Walmart, all alongside a heavy rock production, and it’s nearly impossible to not allow them to do so. Then in the bridge Grimes says that she’s dying, with Poppy simply replying ‘‘It’s a Hollywood moment!’’, making fun of the way people there see anything that happens to celebrities as the newest gossip or article for their cheap magazine. In the end, Play Destroy is an absolute masterpiece that truly displays Poppy’s behavioral battle with herself and discovering if she really is the sweet angel she thought she was on her first album.

12.  X: Closing the album is the song that all previous rock attempts were really building up for. Continuing with the theme of going back and forth between wanting peace or wishing to see chaos and destruction in the world, this track goes for a less subtle approach (and it’s perfect). It begins with very heavy guitar, then quickly shifting into a melodic sunshine pop a la Beatles, with Poppy saying she wishes to empty the bullets out of all the guns in the world. But the calm does not last long before we go back into the metal, where we get lines like ‘‘Please get me bloody / You can get down on your knees if you’re naughty’’. A third sudden genre kicks in, this time (believe it or not), it being trap music. The track continues aggressively going back and forth, switching between all these sounds, but cleverly enough as not to get boring or overwhelming. It is definitely new and exciting to see Poppy go and attempt something so out of what she usually gives her fans, and it really could have gone either really well or horribly wrong. Luckily for her (and us), it was the former.

Am I A Girl? is an album that somehow is better when it gets out of the comfort zone of what we know Poppy for, with very nice vocals and a brave refusal to stick to only one genre. It contains very high replay value and it allows Poppy to show fans a new, edgier side that Poppy.Computer might have restrained her from. Hopefully in the future, she continues to explore and experiment in ways that keep being entertaining and interesting.

RATING: 7/10

Favorite songs: Chic Chick, Aristocrat, Time Is Up, Play Destroy, X

Least favorite songs: Fashion After All, Girls In Bikinis, The Rapture Ball

[besidemethewholedamntime]

Hello! It's amazingjemma from ao3 ;) I am not sure if you accept prompts, but if you do, could you possibly write fitzsimmons fluff with their kid (maybe au even)? Like, maybe Fitz being the best dad ever and teaching their girl to talk/walk/just-toddler-things? Thank you! :)

Hi! Thank you so so much for your prompt - it was really fun to write! I hope this is okay!

Footsteps

(Read on Ao3)

“Come on, Sarah. You can do it.”

“She’ll do it on her own time, Fitz,” Jemma teasessoftly from her place on the couch where she’s flicking through a paper onmodifying the biochemistry of the brain.

Fitz, from his own place on the floor, doesn’t look backto her, but instead keeps the camera trained on Sarah, who sits a few feet awayfrom him, eyeing him suspiciously. “I swear she’s gonna do it when I’m notlooking, though. I don’t want to miss her first steps.”

“You won’t miss her first steps if you just leave herto it. She’ll walk when she’s ready.”

He huffs, looking back to his wife but keeping thecamera trained on his daughter. Jemma rolls her eyes but smiles anyway. “She’salready pulling herself up onto the furniture. That means walking isn’t faraway.”

“I know. I’vealso done all of the research.”

Of course she has. Jemma Simmons always has and willcontinue to excel at preparation. He wonders if she knows something he doesn’t,why she isn’t as excited as him to see their daughter take her first steps.

“However,” she puts her paper to the side and slidesdown onto the floor beside him. “I also know that she isn’t going to walk justbecause you want her to. She’s very stubborn that way. If you keep pointing thecamera at her she deliberately won’t walkjust because she knows it’ll annoy you.”

Sarah is definitely a daddy’s girl. From the momentshe entered the world she’s had him hook, line and sinker. Fitz simply cannotbelieve that his little angel would ever be as devious as this, especially at amere nine months old.

“No,” he says, shaking his head, watching his daughterinnocently play with her toys in front of him. “She wouldn’t do that.”

“If that makes you feel better,” Jemma laughs, givinghim a quick kiss before getting up. “I’m going to start making pancakes forbreakfast. Would you like some?”

“Of course,” he says distractedly, too focussed on hisdaughter.

Sarah watchesher mother walk off, giving absolutely no indication that she’d like to get upand follow.

-x-

“See, it’s like this. That’s all you’ve got to do.”

Fit holds his daughters two arms above her head,helping her to ‘walk’. She takes shaky steps across the living room rug, gigglingall the way.

“Yeah, that’s it! Clever girl!” He feels himself beginto grin, the corners of his mouth pulling up of their own accord.

When they get the couch, Fitz lets go of her, lettingher grab on to the edge. She grins at him but holds her arms out, clearly wantingto continue the fun.

“How about,” he begins in a sing-song voice, “you tryit yourself this time? Show daddy what a clever girl you are.”

It’s the practice but he has his phone out and set torecord this historic moment in mere milliseconds. Sarah still holds her armsout, shaking her hips too, uncomprehending.

“Come on, just like you did with me.” His daughterstill shows no sign of wanting to walk herself. In fact, her arms drop and herbottom lip juts out and she makes her blue eyes as wide as they can go.Sighing, he puts the phone down, chastising himself for being a too pushy. “Is itthe camera, hm? Do you not like it in your face? Okay then, that’s fine, I’lljust put it over here, see?”

Fitz sets the camera to record and puts it on the coffeetable, trying to make it look as discreet as possible. “There we go. How aboutwe try that walking thing again?”

Sarah’s face lights up, and she wiggles her hips andholds out her hands, clearly wanting to have another shot of the fun game.

Her enthusiasm is infectious. “Okay,” he relents. “We’lldo it one more time.”

They end up walking across the rug for another half anhour, and at the end there is a video full of him smiling at Sarah’s adorablegiggles but still no sign that she would ever consider walking by herself.

-x-

“I think we should set up cameras around the house.”

“What? Whyon earth would we do that?”

Jemma’ s incredulous voice makes Fitz spin around fromwhere he is cooking pasta, wooden spoon in one hand ready to defend his argument.

“I swear she’sabout to walk, Jemma. I just know it.”

Jemma is sitting at the kitchen table, their daughteron her knee with a stuffed teddy version of penicillin in her hands. She rollsher eyes. “Oh, Fitz.”

“No, don’t oh,Fitz me. She’s about to walk and we’re going to miss it and I swear shewants us to because she’s always acting like she’s gonna walk and then as soonas the camera’s out she acts like she doesn’t even know how to crawl.”

The pasta is beginning to overboil to he has to turnback to the pot, meaning he misses an epic Jemma Simmons eye roll. He does notmiss the tone in her voice, which is just the verbal embodiment of the eye rollanyway.

“Sarah is nine months old. She is not scheming up away to make you feel like a bad parent. How utterly preposterous.”

Pasta crisis averted, he turns back to his wife and child.Sarah is gurgling away to her toy, giggling occasionally. She catches his eyes andher smile melts his heart. He must admit that she doesn’t appear to be schemingagainst him. However, to save face he mumbles, “Well she has the genes for it,”though it lacks any of the defensiveness of his earlier statements.

“She’ll crawl when she’s ready, won’t you?” Jemma askstheir daughter, tickling her belly.

Sarah looks straight at him, wide eyes blue and unblinking,and barks a laugh.

-x-

“Fitz!”

At Jemma’s shout, he races in from where he was outworking in the garden. “What is it? What’s wrong?” He yells, unable to hearhimself over the blood pounding in his ears, his heart beating ever so fast. “What’shappened?”

Jemma is sitting on the floor of the living room, Sarahon the floor beside her. “I’m sorry. Fitz,” she says softly. “I didn’t mean toscare you.”

“No, it’s fine,” he breathes, trying to get his breathback. Eventually he’ll grow out of this panic. “What was it?”

Jemma looks even more apologetic. “I thought she wasgoing to walk.”

Now he is breathless but for a different reason. “What?Really?”

“Yes. She had pulled herself up and had only one handon the table. I truly thought she was going to do it.” She pulls a face. “Sorry.”

He looks at Sarah, and the grin on her face, thesparkle in her eyes, and decides that while her mother might be, his daughterdoesn’t seem very sorry at all.

-x-

The false walking incident happens three more times.

Each time Sarah grins at his antics, and (he thinkspurposefully) crawls towards him on all fours.

“It’s like the boy who cried wolf,” he tells her oneday after another incident. “One day your mum’s going to say you’re about towalk and I’m just not going to come.”

She just smiles at him ever so innocently, knowing aswell as he does that there will never not be a time when his daughter needs himthat he won’t come running.

-x-

“Are you absolutely sure we can’t get the cameras? Just a few and-”

“Ugh, Fitz!”

-x-

One day Jemma comes back from shopping and finds Fitzsitting at the kitchen table, Sarah on his knee, laptop in front of them playinga video.

“What on earth is that?” Jemma asks, coming around tolook at the video.

“Eh,” he flounders, scratching at his head with onehand. He feels his cheeks begin to flame with embarrassment. “It’s…”

“’How to walkcorrectly’,” Jemma reads the title of the video, squinting at it in confusionfor a second before turning to him. “Fitz! Why are you even-” Then she stops,pinching the bridge of her nose. “You know? I don’t even want to be a part of it.”

She sighs, grabbing her shopping bags from the kitchentable and disappearing through the house, but not before calling over hershoulder, “I’ll just leave you two to do your thing!”

-x-

It comes to a head when Jemma finds him trying tobribe their daughter with chocolate before her dinner.

“No,” she says firmly, taking the bowl of maltesersout of his hand. “Absolutely not, Fitz. This is ludicrous.”

She says it like he hadn’t thought of everything. Thereis only around four the in the bowl (the others having fallen victim to hisimpatient stomach) and he’s cut them into small enough pieces so she won’tchoke on them (though he did cut his finger while trying to quarter the bloodythings) and he has her baby toothpaste and baby toothbrush with the monkeys onit right there to gently wash thetiny pearls of milk teeth free from the sugar.

“No, it’s not,” he counters. “Jemma, I figured it out.The only reason she doesn’t want to walk is because she isn’t getting anythingfrom it. Maybe giving her tiny pieces of chocolate will change her mind.”

“You realise how ridiculous you sound right now, don’tyou?” She sighs, setting down the bowl and picking up Sarah who covers hermother in kisses. “We’d clearly been with Shield too long if you’re even seeingour own daughter as an evil genius.”

“Hey, I didn’t say she was evil. Wouldn’t discreditthe ‘genius’ part of it, though. I mean look at her parents.”

At that, Jemma gives him a soft smile, but it’s nottoo long before she rolls her eyes again. She sets Sarah down on the floor,before joining him on the couch.

Taking one of her hands in his, she asks, “What’sgoing on, Fitz?”

He’s confused at this sudden change. “What do you mean?”

“I mean it must be more than wanting Sarah to walk.You know she’ll do it in her own time, eventually. After all,” the corners ofher mouth quirk up in the precursor of a smile, “the steps she takes don’t needto be big, they just need to be in the right direction.”

Fitz does know she’ll do it in her own time,eventually, knows that he shouldn’t be pressuring her about it. He sighs,thumbing Jemma’s ring. She’s always been able to see right through him.

“It’s just… don’t want to miss them, you know? Herfirst steps are a big deal.”

“They are,” Jemma says. “But they aren’t such a bigdeal that you need to be obsessive of seeing it.”

“I know, I know. I just,” and he swallows because theadmission is one he never thought would spill from his mouth. “It’s just good dads don’t miss their kid’s firststeps.”

“Oh, Fitz, no, listen to me: good fathers aren’t theones who are there to see their children’s first steps. Good fathers are theones who are there for all the steps that come next.”

She says this firmly, as if there aren’t any otheralternatives to her truth, as if she believes this whole-heartedly.

She continues on. “After her first steps there will beher second, and then her third, and then once she starts walking you’ll almostwish she had never began.” She smiles but he feels her grip his hand moretightly, feeling how hard she needs him to believe.“If you miss them it does not make you a bad father.”

Somewhere, deep down, he knew that. His own father hadbeen there for his first steps, after all. Fitz has seen the videotape of hisown shaky steps, the camera held by his grandmother. He’s seen the man thathaunts his nightmares in the corner, looking as proud as anything next to hismother. Alistair Fitz had been there in the beginning, there for one briefmoment before leaving and being absent for all of the other big steps that hisown son had taken in an effort to prove his father wrong.

“Still really want to see them, though,” Fitz mumbles,looking down towards their joined hands.

“Well,” and Jemma laughs an almost disbelieving butundeniably happy laugh. “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about it anymore.”

He looks up to see Sarah, one hand on the coffeetable, begin place her unsteady baby feet one in front of the other. Lookingstraight into her father’s eyes, she lets go of the table.

Fitz’s arms are open in a moment. “Come here,” heencourages. “Come on, you can do it! Walk to me!”

Her arms outstretched, mouth ready to smile. Sarahmanages the ten steps to her father with both of her parents cheering her on.

As soon as Fitz feels her in his arms he closes themgently around her, lifting her into the air. “You did it!”

“Oh, what a clever girl,” Jemma grins, ruffling herhair.

Sarah giggles, eyes sparkling as her gaze locks withher father’s. He swears he see some kind of understanding within the universe thatresides in the blue. He brings her close, feeling so grateful in this momentthat it’s hard to comprehend.

“My genius,” he whispers into the softness of her baby hair, unbelievably happy at being able to witness the first,and ready to be there for all the steps going to come next.

[ruminativerabbi]

King Kohelet Joins the Debate

Last week, I wrote to you about my idea of expanding the idea of inviting various ushpizin to dine with us in the sukkah to include all sorts of non-traditional invitees. I’ve been thinking about that idea all week—wondering whom I should or could invite aside from Lady Oumuamua and Prince Borisov (neither of whom would actually be that much fun to host, given that they are both basically rocks whose sole claim to fame is their origin in deep outer space). Lots of potential ideas came to mind in that regard, some whimsical, some semi-serious, some almost reasonable. (And, yes, the whole concept of “reasonable” does need to be stretched just a bit if we’re going to talk seriously about inviting the spectral presences of the long-since-dead to dinner in the first place.) Perhaps I’ll propose the idea earlier on next year and invite suggestions about whom exactly to include on the invitation list.

And then I watched the debate on Wednesday evening between the top dozen individuals vying for the chance to run for President as the Democratic candidate in 2020. I realize that it would have been impractical to hold the debate in a sukkah, but that’s really a shame: seeing them all gathered in a rickety hut with canvas walls and a roof made of grass might just have moved things along a bit faster. (Was it only me who thought so, or did at least some of those people appear to be injecting themselves into the mix just to make the same point over and over?) And then, just when I thought I had had enough and would just read about the last hour in the paper on Wednesday morning, I was taken entirely off-guard by the sight of King Kohelet—ghostly, but otherwise in full royal regalia—striding confidently up to the invisible thirteenth podium and taking his spectral place among the others.

No one else seemed to notice him there. Even I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn’t having some sort of tele-hallucination, but there he was for all (or at least for me) to see, his famous book tucked securely under his arm and his ability to take in what was unfolding around him more than obvious. (How an ancient king of Israel could speak English, I didn’t pause to ask myself; he was, after all, the wisest of men—as Scripture says specifically and unambiguously. Maybe he took English in high school!) Mostly, of course, he’s known as Solomon. He reigned as Solomon. He published his other works—and foremost among them the Song of Songs and the Book of Proverbs—under that name too, but this work—the product of his old age, when his wisdom was at its fullest flower—he brought out as King Kohelet, a mysterious name cited several times in the book itself but always left unexplained. Perhaps he used a pseudonym to suggest the universal nature of the lessons he wished to teach. Or perhaps Kohelet really was an actual nickname of some sort, perhaps a name one of his seven hundred wives made up as a term of endearment. But our custom of reading Kohelet’s book—called by the ten-dollar name Ecclesiastes in most Western circles but almost always by its author’s name in Jewish ones—our custom of reading Kohelet during Sukkot made his presence almost logical: having come up from Sheol on his annual author’s tour of the world as his book is read and debated in countless thousands of sukkot in the course of the festival, why not stop by an actual debate and see what he could add to the discussion? So what if they weren’t actually holding it in a sukkah? Surely, he must have thought, that really is just a detail! And, as we would naturally expect from the wisest of all men, it turned out that he had a lot to say.

The basic givens on Wednesday night were obvious. Everyone present on that stage wishes to be elected President. All have plans! Senator Warren has become known for saying that almost as a personal mantra, but they all have strategies for fixing what ails our land (or at least for what they perceive to be ailing our nation) and none showed any reticence about touting his or her proposals as the very best. And, although each would-be nominee has shortcomings of various sorts (including, at least for two, a complete lack of experience in government) and none has yet emerged as the ideal candidate that the others will eventually have no choice but to support, the setting seemed to require that each candidate vaunt him or herself maximally, responding to whatever question was formally asked with some version of that candidate’s standard stump speech. As a result, what was supposed to be a thoughtful debate about principles, policies, and platforms turned into a long infomercial that differed from “real” infomercials merely with respect to the time spent tearing down other candidates either overtly or by clever (or not so clever) innuendo.

The king listened carefully, as did I. And then, when the din subsided somewhat, he offered the would-be nominees some thoughtful advice that, if you ask me, they could all do well to take to heart. Kohelet wasn’t the wisest of men for nothing! 

First, he noted clearly there is no virtue more becoming to a true leader than humility. The clearest way to establish your right to lead, therefore, is to stop bragging about your accomplishments…both because there will always be someone whose accomplishments are even more impressive than yours and also because nothing is less suggestive of the ability to govern than arrogance. As a result, the more you beat your own drum, the more it feels as though your real interest is in denying your listeners the possibility of appraising your worth frankly and honestly. True leaders, says the king, always seek to self-improve…and self-improvement must unavoidably be born of frank self-analysis. And that was the king’s first point.

Secondly, he went on to note that the sign of a true leader is the willingness to work far more intently on the actual work of governance than on the portrait of oneself destined for the history books. Knowing everything would be a useful skill to bring to the office of President. But since no one actually knows everything, those who would lead should instead demonstrate their commitment to the pursuit of wisdom itself—through study with learned teachers, through the contemplation of the works of intelligent authors, through the taking of counsel with people more experienced and more knowledgeable than themselves are, and through the repudiation of negative character traits they have somehow inadvertently (or not so inadvertently) acquired. Those who would lead should therefore present themselves as students of the wise, as people who desire to listen far more intensely than to lecture others. Accepting that others could do as good as job as they themselves is key, as is then trying to transcend that thought by seeking to attain a heart of wisdom that truly does set them apart from the rest. Self-knowledge is key; the nation, says Kohelet, led by a king who only knows of himself what the sycophants and yes-men who surround him tell him is hardly being led at all.

Thirdly, the king noted that true leaders blame no one for their own errors of judgment. If they admit to having occasionally acted poorly in a given situation, they never blame the situation as though it, rather than they themselves, was at fault. In fact, true leaders always accept responsibility for their own mistakes and move forward humbled and chastened by them: what the people need in their leaders is specifically not braggarts who can’t imagine ever having done anything wrong, but rather the kind of people who learn from their errors and consistently strive to become better and more virtuous as they move forward through life.

Fourthly, the king noted—and clearly—that people worthy to lead invariably listen very carefully to others…including to their opponents in debate and dialogue. King Kohelet said this repeatedly too, noting that it is always better to hear a wise person chastise you than to listen to a fool singing your praises…and that instead of responding instantly to any hint of criticism with a thousand different explanations intended to defang the critique, it shows greater leadership potential gratefully to embrace the criticism and to be willing to learn from it. No one enjoys being critiqued, he admitted freely, much less harshly. But whereas fools run from criticism, the wise run toward the thoughtful individual prepared to evaluate their work honestly and thoughtfully. Those worthy of the charism of leadership are therefore those who are constantly striving to improve, to become more virtuous, to become wiser and more insightful. The king couldn’t have been more clear that no one who wants to become a national leader should be unable to imagine learning something from the thoughtful comments of others…even when those others are one’s direct competitors.

Finally, the king noted that those who would lead their nation forward need to demonstrate an ability to take the long view. Eventually, he correctly noted, every single voter alive today will pass from the scene. The would-be candidates themselves will pass from the scene. But instead of taking that as license to ignore the consequences of their actions now (or their inaction), they need to consider future generations as pre-constituents, as people whose interests they must have at heart now even if they are unable to vote in our national elections right now. And this point too the King stressed repeatedly: the mantle of leadership can only be legitimately worn by someone willing to respond to the interconnectedness of the generations personally and viscerally, and who is willing to accept the responsibility for the kind of earth we bequeath to our grandchildren’s grandchildren. And to their grandchildren as well because, in the end, a willingness to look deeply into the future is a prerequisite for leading in the present.

[oxfordeliterp]

CONGRATULATIONS, PEACH!

You have been accepted to play the role of ARIA BELLEFONTE with the faceclaim of CRYSTAL REED. Please create your account and send it to the main in the next 24 hours. I believe you understood very clearly what the core of Aria is made of, and for that, every sentence of your application turned into gold because they described her perfectly. Every word, even those not written about her, turned into an ode so faithful to the character that you convinced me you know her better than I do, so when I am giving her to you, I am giving her wholeheartedly, excited to see where in that darkness you were talking about you are going to take her. I have no doubts that it is going to be an entertaining journey and I want to thank you for your authenticity. Insert here a joke about this application being just peachy.

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

Name and pronouns: Hi lovelies! I’m Peach, and I go by she/her pronouns.

Age: Nineteen

Time-zone: EST

Activity level: I’ve got commitments outside of Tumblr, surprisingly, but especially at this time of the year I’m able to be online quite frequently. At the least, I can make it online for an hour, and should anything truly drastic come up, I’d let you know.

Triggers: N/A - I’m comfortable with just about anything.

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION

Desired character: Aria Bellefonte. Oh Aria, my girl. I guess what drew me to her at start was the fact that Aria is not a girl who enjoys an elitist scene, and not because she finds it an edgier viewpoint or because she doesn’t fit in, but because Aria was born with a lack of a damn. The girl is cold, cold down to her bones, and happiness is a thing that she simply does not care for. She doesn’t know how to register true happiness when it comes her way, and she’s like a child when it does; unable to process when it’s gone. Personally, I like writing the characters who I see very little to almost no glimpses of myself in, which I’d say is pretty much the essence of Aria, perhaps save for a lot of the bitterness we both seem to hold onto. I’m also drawn to very personable characters, but I’m also attracted to characters like Aria who are caustic and look to partying as a means of drowning out the rest of the world. With Aria there’s a very fun balance. Aria is not personable in the slightest, she’s authentically this sometimes lackluster, not-at-all decadent woman and yet she draws people to her like moths to a flame. I find the charm in her due to her comfort in being average: she cares nothing about changing herself. She does not want to be a greater version of herself, she’s content with who she is even if it isn’t what most people label ideal. Aria is dark, to put it plainly, and there is very little light in her. Where most people would seek to start pulling that out of her, I don’t want that. It’s not Aria. I want to encourage that darkness in her further and see how this girl attempts to cover back up all the places the sun’s shone now that her life is back to black-and-white without Elizabeth. Gender and pronouns of the character: Aria identifies as cis female, and uses she/her pronouns.

Changes: N/A. Perfect the way she is.

Traits: + Magnetic : Aria is by no means a people person, but she has a certain charm about her that puzzles even her. She’s not sure where it comes from. Something draws people right to her, maybe it’s the fact she’s always down for a party or it’s her deadpan sense of humor and deprecating outlook on the world. Maybe it’s just the sheer mystery of the girl, and people are desperate to crack the code, find out what makes Aria Bellefonte tick. Aria reels people in whether she tries or doesn’t, and she’s often conflicted on this. While she enjoys reaping the benefits of her charm, what it gets her and what it can get her in and out of, she’s usually less than pleased with the company that it entails.

+ Guileful : While she certainly doesn’t have the book smarts one expects out of an Oxford student, Aria is quite clever when she wants to be. Her wit is impeccable (even if it sometimes straddles the boundaries of honesty and cruelty) and she’s very quick to catch on to things. Just because her grades may not reflect a bright student, Aria knows a lot more than she often lets on and she’s certainly smarter than she seems. After all, she’s made it this far.

+ Imperturbable : Very laid-back and easygoing, not a lot can wiggle its way under Aria’s skin and truly elicit a reaction out of her. Excitement, distraught, expressions, really, are not Aria’s thing. Things don’t get under her skin, because that would insinuate she cared. Aria would much rather go with the flow and ride the waves than attempt to swim against something, and this makes her the girl to either want to be with or want to get away from. There’s not a lot she’ll pass on doing, whether it’s a party or drugs or something else entirely. Looking at her affair with Elizabeth in particular with this trait, where some people would have perhaps demanded more out of that relationship and to essentially force a decision in the age old ‘me or them’ ultimatum, Aria isn’t like that. She genuinely did not mind that she was a secret, kept behind closed doors, because whatever made Elizabeth happy made her happy. Just the fact that she had Elizabeth was enough, and the rest she was willing to work around. There’s really only ever been one instance where Aria’s threatened to falter in this, and it was when Elizabeth was found dead. Even then though, it doesn’t seem to visibly wear at her as far as anyone else is concerned.

+ Candid : Aria will tell you the truth, or at least what she thinks, whether you ask for her to or not. Aria doesn’t believe in wasting time sugarcoating things, padding a blow; she says what’s on her mind and what she means. Some people find this striking honesty in her quite endearing, because it means she has your best interests at heart and does so out of kindness. Other people find her a little too blunt, saying the things that often shouldn’t be said at all due to their harsh nature. Aria simply doesn’t have the energy to waste lying to someone. Who you see with Aria is who you get, plain and simple.

- Cold : It’s short and simple, but there’s not another word that describes Aria quite to a T like this one does. Impersonal, apathetic, and unconcerned with the world around her, Aria simply lacks a care in and for anything. She’s not the nicest person in the world either, and it doesn’t take much to wind up on the end of one of Aria’s scathing comments, or her bad side.

- Subversive : Trouble. The girl is trouble. Running with Aria Bellefonte means you’ve signed yourself up for whatever she feels like, and there’s not much she says no to. She has a taste for the rebellious lifestyle, despite not partaking because she wants to get a message across. She partakes because it bides her time well, and it’s enough to give her substance to where she feels like a person. Destructive (especially towards herself) and quite corrupted, she knowingly drags people right down the hole with her in all of her antics. Even someone like Aria doesn’t want to be lonely forever.

- Detached : Aria’s categorized by her tendency to be very closed-off and withdrawn from the rest of the world around her. She operates on her own frequencies entirely, which some don’t translate as a bad thing, but for Aria, it kind of is. She knows she’s never really been the most conventional human being and is better off shut away inside her mind. It leads her to being alone most of the time because she refuses to let anyone in; she doesn’t think they quite get it, that what they see is what they’re getting and there isn’t anything behind her veneer. There are very few emotions in her bag of tricks. She’s an abyss of a girl underneath her skin and sharp tongue, black nothingness, and hardly any warmth to her. Aria doesn’t let people get close not because she’s scared she’ll run them off, but because she simply doesn’t want them there. It’s a little easier on her deepest level of subconscious to be self-destructive when it’s just her and no other liabilities.

- Vindictive : This is a more recent development in Aria’s personality, but god, has she acquired the taste for revenge. It’s a quiet, concealed thing like most things she feels, but it’s just as dark as the rest of her and is a little more twisted than typical. She’s always been acrimonious and rather unforgiving, but it’s being blatantly vengeful that Aria’s never dipped her toes into. To her, it seemed like another catty, pointless way of wasting her time, but she’s started to see it in a different light, a way that makes sense to her. Aria’s never really dove into her darkness, just sort of treaded in it, but ever since Elizabeth’s passing and her suspicions have started to heighten, she’s been testing her limits by sinking into it and seeing how long she can hold her breath. For Aria, the thought of openly acting on her resentment (especially towards that shady fucker Marc) is growing into a delicious thought in the way some people like how sugar tastes on their tongue.

Extras: MAJOR — You can bet all your money in the world that Aria was undeclared for as long as she could possibly manage, mostly because she’s never given much of a damn about schoolwork. Once she decided though, she picked something that didn’t entirely bore her to death and was relatively easy compared to all the others at fucking Oxford, which puts our girl in Sociology. Her parents went wild over this decision, as Sociology majors can go into government research or private consulting, and thus, keeping the money alive.

PARA SAMPLE

The satisfying 'click’ of the door’s lock turning seemed as if it echoed through the room. A flash of dark hair flipped over a girl’s shoulder, revealing two rows of perfectly white teeth framed by rose lips and a downright wicked look twinkling in azure eyes. It spelled out one thing for Aria, and that was that her death was on its way. That’s all she ever knew, being with Elizabeth; she was going to stop her heart one of these days, and Aria didn’t know when or how, only the ominous looming of the storm cloud on the horizon.

“Finally,” Elizabeth sighed dramatically, the smile still never leaving her face as she peeled away from the door. Her sauntering was slow, towards the bed where Aria had leaned up against the frame, hands holding her up. “We’re alone.”

One of Aria’s eyebrows quirked. “Nice deduction there, Sherlock,” she pointed out, struggling to maintain her expressionless demeanor as the smile started to declare war on her muscles. A typical Elizabeth thing, making her smile even when Aria was positive she was a rare cause of requiring more muscles in her body to conjure a smile than it did to frown. She watched as Elizabeth grew closer, dragging in her movements as a means of seduction. “What are you going to do about it?”

Not as though she’d admit it, but her breathing was beginning to grow labored, pupils dilated in lust at the sight of Elizabeth within fingertips reach with that sinful fucking smile on her face. “I think you’ve got a pretty good idea, Bellefonte.”

Aria couldn’t move her hands off the frame of the bed, couldn’t so much as move an inch as she watched Elizabeth pierce the bubble of her personal space. She was captivating, enough to steal the breath from her lungs, and it seemed by the look on Elizabeth’s face that was exactly what she planned on doing. Palms attached onto the column of Aria’s throat, warm fingertips splayed out along her jawline and cheek that were beginning to set little fires where they touched, and the last thing Aria remembered before closing her eyes was the sight of Elizabeth lunging for her lips.

Intimacy was never something Aria could find herself to be comfortable with, both physical and emotional. She’d never quite understood how girls in grade school were always linking arms with one another walking to class, how people found comfort in holding someone else’s hand, how people would dance on random strangers at parties, how couples could make out and fuck and not be bothered by it. Coming to understand how people could so carelessly and easily toss around that fucking forsaken L word was an entirely different ballgame she chose not to play either. She’d never cared for any of it, really, mostly because she couldn’t find it in her already stone-cold heart to make room for anybody else and their touches or their feelings. There was barely room inside for what little of her she allowed inside her rib cage.

But Elizabeth was like a flower, planting its seeds on the day they’d met and providing its own source of sunlight and water as their friendship blossomed. No one had anticipated the two girls to end up being acquaintances, much less friends, but they had, and they were almost unstoppable. It took a certain type of person to truly tolerate either of them, and it came as no surprise that that type of person was the other. With Elizabeth in her life, Aria finally truly understood how empty she’d been previously. There was always a lingering darkness inside of her, the empty void that kept itself filled, but Elizabeth knew exactly where to start puncturing holes to let a light in. Normally, Aria would have been quick to write it off, say it didn’t suit her, but it had. The friendship had swiftly evolved into the slow burn of whatever their relationship was now and it should have shut Aria off entirely. It didn’t. Elizabeth had grown into a beautiful, wild rose, housing itself in between the spaces of Aria’s ribs, basking in the light that finally knew a way inside, the careful start of the garden of Eden. Laughing, smiling, the teasing and the kisses everything in between, all of it felt right with Elizabeth. It didn’t feel right with anyone but her, and that’s how Aria knew it was something different. She’d even go so far as to describe it as happiness.

She could feel Elizabeth’s fingers start to tangle in her hair as they kissed, Aria’s arms winding around Elizabeth’s waist and pulling her in closer. Times like these were the only time she could physically feel her brain start to short-circuit, every nerve an open ended wire, her heart actually beating in her chest like it was threatening to jump ship at any moment. Elizabeth was soft and sweet, a hint of salt and the rush of adrenaline that came with such a secret, it forced love out of Aria. She couldn’t help but to be fucking head over heels for her best friend. It was simple, it was blunt, and god, did it make her feel alive.

Even if the lock did have to be on the door at all times, and ensuring no one was looking.

“As good as it was in those ideas of yours?” Elizabeth asked when she broke for air finally, breathless laughs escaping her and her eyes still glittering as she teased. Her lips were swollen from the kissing, forehead pressed against Aria's and from the corner of her eye, Aria could see the strap on her top beginning to slide down her shoulder. At one point, she would have run in the other direction at the thought of feelings, emotions, intimacy. Now all she wanted, all she could think about, was having as much of Elizabeth in her system as possible.

Aria merely smirked, hands gripping so tight on Elizabeth’s waist that there wasn’t even room for the hope of keeping distance. “We haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet.”

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x11 recap

(Aka the one where Keaton and Dr Sun face off in an exciting round of  “~Whose Presence Is The Least Wanted~”. Spoiler: they both win.)

Delayed a little by a spontaneous three-day trip across the state and a few late shifts, but finally here at last. So thanks your your awesome responses to last week’s recap, and prepare for a large quantity of thoughts and opinions because damn this ep was actually good??

Noooo. Roman. My baby. Why must you suffer so much??? I mean sure there was the terrorism and the murdering and all, but... well, just as I don't see Remi and Jane as the same person, Times New Roman and Old Roman are also not the same. Plus, given that messed up childhood he had, his violence is kinda unsurprisng. And I just can't help it okay, he's my scruffy psycho puppy and I love him. And Jane does too, which is why she's always visiting him (FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS WHAAAT. mORE ON THIS IN A SEC) and trying to make sure he's eating and getting some rest and just basically being the sweetest sister ever ughhhhh. But he's understandably starting to crack, being caged up in there like an animal, and ugh can I just hug them both rn

Okay this next scene is a Nas scene, ergo I don’t care about it, so I'm gonna just pause for a second and vent about this whole two-week-jump thing. Because you know what can happen in two weeks in this show?? Everything!! Like literally from the time Jane rejoined the team in the premiere up to the events of last ep (aka a total of 11 eps), only TWELVE DAYS had passed. (Yes, I counted). So let's think about this. This means that Jane came back into the team's lives 12 days ago. She met Roman 12 days ago. She was shot by Zapata 12 days ago (though you would never know it based on her physical activity... #tvmedicine). And wanna know some other things that happened in that 12 days? 11 days ago Weller found out he was gonna be a father (Allie was like 15 weeks along at the time, at best guess??), and Borden asked Patterson out. Approx 6 days ago, Jane kinda pretty much admitted to Weller that she loved/loves him. She found out about the baby a day later, the same day Allie was shot. (Again, not a hint of that injury any time we've seen her since!). Weller and Nas started sleeping together 4 days ago, while Jane's 'happy ending' fantasy (*sobs*), and her failed date with Oliver happened only three days ago. Then let’s not even get into the whole shitstorm of Shepherd’s trap and the team nearly dying and Patterson discovering Borden’s betrayal just a day ago. So are you seeing my issue here?? All these things happened in LESS than 2 weeks, and now we've just jumped forward that entire block of time and ugh what the hell did we miss in all those days??? I’m actually legit worried about what bad things could have happened/are brewing...

Aaand speak of the devil. Or devil-lady. Nas is apparently doing something shady (shocking, I know) and Weller comes to investigate, since apparently she's been 'sneaking off every morning'. Oh, great. You know what, maybe I'm glad we've skipped ahead two weeks, if these two have continued their... whatever the hell this is... during all that time. But seriously dude, Jane is back and you guys are actually on good terms again, why are you still with the rebound??? Unless... unless she's no longer the rebound but rather the barrier. Like with Jane back and their old connection starting to reform, maybe he's using this thing with Nas as like a buffer to keep himself from gravitating back to Jane-- lbr, he's the proverbial moth to her flame, and vice versa-- and so basically this thing with Nas is all just a way of protecting his heart by keeping it far away from the one woman who could truly crush it? Honestly rn that's the story I gotta go with bc otherwise I’m gonna get stuck obsessing over wtf is going on here with these two  completely ill-suited people. Sigh. But anyhow apparently Nas used to get messages from this sign from the Sandstorm informant (did she ever look into how though? Like did the informant know or pay off the person who types them? Or did they hack in themselves? Surely that was a lead that should have been followed??) and so apparently she's still checking it. Also damn, the quote up on the sign: "The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon"-- very true about Jane, given all she's been through and how strong and incredible she's manages to remain through it all....

But anyway now there are two thug-like dudes just sneaking thuggishly amongst a bunch of shipping containers and lbr it's already a better scene than the previous one. And then a Distinguished Looking Man and a younger man (his son, I'm guessing?) exit one of the containers, looking Distinguished and Mysterious. Dude, I hope you guys didn't come from far away, bc that would not have been a fun journey...

Ooooh Weller's lady-juggling is apparently not going so well as he ends up missing Allie's appointment-- what's she now? 20 weeks, give or take? And yet that's one tiiiiiny belly she's still got... like okay yes, some women barely show at all, even well into the second trimester, but lbr NEVER TV WOMEN. TV women are usually always sporting one of those massive fake belly things so that we, the poor silly viewers, don't forget that “HEY THIS LADY GOT KNOCKED UP, THERE'S DEFINITELY A BABY KICKING AROUND IN HERE SO GET READY FOR IT TO FLY ON OUT AND MESS SHIT UP AT ANY MOMENT". And yet, with this show... nothing? Some slightly baggier clothes, maybe, but not even a moderate bump. What does it mean?? Are they sneakily trying to tell us that ~all is not as it seems~ with this pregnancy (like hey, maybe Allie even sneakily moved the appointment forward so Weller would miss it)-- or, am I just reading to much into things, and the show’s prop-masters were simply out of stock on the Defo-Preggo fake bellies and decided it didn't matter and we probably wouldn't notice its absence anyway? Seriously I have been super suss of this pregnancy from the start (mainly bc why the hell would it even have been written into the story unless for some kind of ~Shock Drama~ down the track) so maybe I'm looking too hard for hints? Lbr it's gonna take a fair bit to shake me from my 'Allie is a Sandstorm operative and is faking the pregnancy bc of reasons' theory. And Cutie Connor can totally fit into that too. But anyhow Weller is a sweetie and is trying very hard to be a Good Dad(TM). Oh, my son. Why do I strongly get the feeling that you will never even get the chance to be a dad to this baby. (*whispers* there's always your babies with Jane to look forward to, tho...)  

Oooh it's back-to-work day for Reade (two weeks post-surgery really isn't enough for a physical job like his, but whatever I'mma overlook it) and omg he and Zapata having an awkward little chat and dude is this really the first time they've spoken since that terrible kiss? Really?? So there was just radio silence between them, two best friends, for two weeks while he was practically an invalid. Ooookay. Sure. On a brighter note, there was a rat in the lockerroom that Reade had named Whitey Bulger hahaha. That's adorable. I hope it was released humanely. Reminds me of the mouse that used to live in the wall of my parents’ house and its hole was right near the computer desk so I would feed it crumbs when I was up on the computer at like 3am haha. Ah, good times. Also okay hold on google says that Whitey Bulger was an infamous crime boss who murdered like 20 people. Ohhhhh and apparently he was an FBI informant, aka a rat. I wonder if the rat was white, too? Though generally wild rats are brown. But wow okay I am getting very distracted (lbr it's the secondhand embarrassment from this super awkward interaction, I can't deal so I’m avoiding the whole thing lol)

Phew okay now we can switch to a far more pleasing scene-- my baby Patterson is back at it, and I'm not even gonna comment on the bullet-wound recovery time. Just look at this restraint I’m showing. Anyway based on Zapata's very pointed comments, lil baby Patterson has refused to take any time off. Ugh. Though if I were her I wouldn't really want to be at my apartment either. I wonder if Borden left anything there... :( also Patterson still has a nasty headache, which sounds ongoing and is not all that consistent with the eardrum-stabbing. It could be a bunch of things, including lack of sleep, but... I wonder. Maybe Sheherd was sneakier than we thought. But for now let's just hope our baby is okay.

Looolll I feel like I'm watching a married couple having a fight over what's best for their kid or something. But lbr here if not for the pressure that Weller's facing to show that he's 'punishing' Roman somehow (seriously we know how Pellington fels about Roman, not to mention how all the agents under Weller’s command must feel about the man that helped kill 12 of their own), I feel like he would be on Jane's side of this argument. Although, he probably also recognises the influence Roman has over Jane, and might be worried that Roman could pull her away from him... but anyhow it's entertaining to watch these two in their own little bubble with Nas off to the side, just awkwardly hovering there like she's an afterthought. Neither one particularly wants her input rn but she has to be there, so... but then she suggests bringing in an 'expert' that she knows and that sets off instant alarm bells for me. DO NOT TRUST ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH NAS, INCLUDING NAS, OKAY GUYS? THEY’RE SNAKE-PEOPLE, THE LOT OF THEM. This is bound to bode ill for Roman and Jane and like probably everyone somehow

Aw my clever baby has cracked (or re-cracked) an old tattoo, which previously had given them a random number but now correlates to a shipping container-- naturally, the very one that our mysterious duo exited earlier. And due to some handy camera unscrambling, we know that Distinguished Man is a supposedly-dead warlord dude that did a bunch of bad things and was actually indirectly involved in the team nearly getting killed in Turkey last season. Oooooh, drama.

So the kiddies are heading into the bullpen-- Reade joining Weller and Jane as they head together to the main briefing area. So wait how come Jeller were off on their own just then, given that the team was all just together down in Patterson's lab a minute ago? (*cough* quickie?? *cough*) But anyhow traces of nitroglycerin were found in the container apparently so ooooh bomb??? But apparently the company who paid for the container also paid a bunch of dough to some other lady, so the team brings her in-- and finds out the money was 'life insurance' from the death of her brother a few days ago. But hold on, she never even saw the body, said that he'd already been taken to the morgue. And bingo, this story is already throwing up a ton of flags. I can tell you from direct experience that when a person dies in hospital, a doctor (ie, me) is immediately called to certify them, and then we tuck them in nicely and ensure they look peaceful before we contact the family and allow them to come in. And unless the family is like hours and hours away, the patient will remain in their room until they've had a chance to say goodbye. If the family can't get there for a long time, they're taken to the hospital’s mortuary where they await pickup by the family's chosen funeral director. At any point in this process the family can still be taken to see the patient if they wish. So clearly, something else happened with this woman's brother, and someone paid off multiple hospital staff to make it look how they wanted. Definitely not easy to do. And now, according to Patterson, it turns out he was actually transferred elsewhere... this is all veeeeery shady

Ugh Jane going to Roman and using Borden's coffee example to help reach out to him. Ughhhh. And then ugh he asks her if Shepherd loved them and why she wiped his memory and this puts Jane in such a tight spot bc if she said Shepherd did it but didn't love him then how does she explain later that she herself did it out of love and aarghh. But her answer "maybe she thought it was the only chance she had left to get you back” is a good answer. I'm still sad that she had to lie to him about it, and the ramifications that that's going to have. Please understand, Roman, she loves youuuuu and only wants what’s best for you!

Meanwhile Patterson's found the person who last visited the dude in hospital, bc she's da boss. And then Weller asks if she ran the plates and she practically rolls her eyes at him, sassily gesturing over her shoulder just as a photo of the plates appears on the screen behind her. Badass. The team subsequently goes chasing the car-- which is conveniently like ten mins away-- and suddenly it's like we’re in the middle of a black SUV convention when the team surrounds the target cars, the two separate sides differentiated only by the fact that out of one set of cars comes our badass team with their big guns, and out of the other comes a murdering, bloodthirsty, terrorist warlord... and something much worse. KEATON. And lbr I will forever be proud of Jane for the fact that she has her torturer directly in her line of fire and yet doesn't even once struggle with the temptation of pulling the trigger. Because no matter what she's been through-- and no matter what Remi did in the past-- Jane is not a killer. (Let's just agree to overlook the whole thing with Fisher bc that man was an evil little weasel and deserved what he got). And then Zapata discovers a possible bioweapon in the car, ratcheting tensions even higher until Keaton is all 'chill, it's just a pilfered body part'. And lbr, Keaton is so damn repugnant that this is the only way he could ever steal anyone's heart. (badum-tish?). But omg then Jane tells Weller-- while staring at Keaton with bared teeth-- that he was the one who tortured her. And being the little shit-stirrer he is, Keaton tries to imply that Weller has known all along (actually only two weeks and 4 days, but who's counting), and Jane's trust in Weller wavers just slightly at that, given that he'd told her from the start that he hadn't known anything about her torture. Which was true, at the time. And now he quickly reassures her-- while staring absolute daggers at Keaton-- that he only found out in Bulgaria. I wonder if he's mentally reliving that last meeting bc oh boy I sure am. Ah, those satisfying choking sounds. But anyhow, it turns out that Warlord Man's son needs a heart transplant and the CIA is providing it in exchange for info about planned terrorist attacks. The traces of 'nitroglycerin' that was found in the storage container was actually from the kid's heart medication (glyceryl trinitrate, in case you're interested, though he likely wouldn't be on that medication for this particular condition. Also to get those traces around the container I guess he must have been doing a Great-Escape style boredom activity, just with throwing his tablets instead of a ball. Anywho tho Jane tells Weller he can't trust Keaton, and as he always does (or did, in the old days) he finds a way to do what she suggests that is also going to appear acceptable to the Big Bosses. Which in this case means inviting Keaton and Co into their base. Joy. 

So not only does the team have to work with the world's biggest asshat, but there's an attack tonight that they need to stop. Zapata takes Anton the Warlord's phone and laptop to Patterson bc apparently she can't face the idea of interviewing him with Reade (come on kids, we're all grownups here) and everyone suddenly disperses, leaving Jane alone in the room with Keaton. I kinda feel like that's an oversight that Weller wouldn't actually make (and lbr he's always been super aware of where Jane is and what she's doing at all times) so I kinda feel like he is deliberately giving her this chance to face Keaton alone? He knows she wouldn't do anything foolish-- such as, say, try to choke him to death, like a certain someone-- and knows she needs this closure. And omg Keaton is now boo-hooing about missing his kid's basketball games because he had to spend his time 'interrogating' her. Damn, that's cold. He's literally acting like she wronged him. (Can I claw his eyes out now, please?? Since Jane is too good of a person to do it??). But well, at least Keaton’s shittiness gives us this scene of Jane storming into Weller's office. He's sitting and staring pensively at a watch in his hands-- what's the significance? Was it his father's? What am I missing here?? and she bursts in all angry and hurt that they're working with Keaton after what he did to her, which lbr would basically feel like everyone dismissing it as no big deal. But thankfully Weller makes it clear-- with his Serious Voice and turbulent eyes-- that he hates it too and even nearly killed Keaton when he found out. And boy, does that take the wind out of her sails. Yes, Jane, Mr Always-Do-The-Right-Thing literally nearly murdered a high-ranking government official for hurting you. And ugh you can see how much that means to her-- lbr with them, that's basically as much an admission of love as any kiss could be... 

Aaaand then of course Nas has to appear to ruin the moment, because that's literally like her entire role on this show; Ms Shady Backstabber and Moment-Ruiner. And oh joy, she's brought her 'expert', who on one hand I am pleased to see is a disabled WOC, bc yes good tv representation, but on the other hand I wish she just wasn't there at all. That actress was great in Quantico though. Literally tho in the first minute the doctor has called Roman a 'prisoner' and a 'killer'. Biased, much??? I have literally treated jailed murderers myself, and the entire medical staff would always refer to them only as 'the patient' or at the very worst, 'the inmate'. So this lady is really already rubbing me the wrong way here. As much as I dislike her, though, I agree that Jane shouldn't be there for her assessment. But ugh I hope she can watch on cameras or something just so someone is keeping an eye on what they do to my poor puppy... but seriously tho let's all take a moment to appreciate how well Jane keeps herself in check like all the time?? I mean she's constantly copping crap from people and she just takes it with such grace (okay sometimes with a little less grace but generally very well) and ugh I just love her so much

Speaking of Jane, she takes her turn watching over Anton, and while the man refused to say a word to Reade, the sight of Jane has him opening right up. I feel ya, buddy. I'd spill my guts to her too. I enjoy that they bond over their mutual hatred of Keaton. Can I join that party? Also ugh the way he talks about his son not being like him, and being deserving of a proper life... kinda like Jane still deserves a good life despite who her 'mother' is and what she's done. But oh geez, his next line-- "You know what's the worst thing that can happen to a man, Jane? To lose a child." AAAAHHHH RED FLAGS RED FLAGS THIS IS FORESHADOWING I JUST KNOW IT. DOES THIS MEAN THE WRITERS ARE GONNA KILL OFF WELLER'S BABY??? DOES IT???? And then oh shit, the son dies (I am still sure that that line was foreshadowing more than just his death though) and the team is all like wtf do we do??? Naturally Keaton thinks the only option is to lie, which Jane strongly disagrees with, both of them turning to Weller, who brings them both with him to see Anton. Keaton gets in there and starts spouting lies-- only for Weller to step up and tell the truth, while also being genuinely sympathetic. Yaaaaasss my son taking Jane's side and doing the right thing, as he should :) And ugh she is so sad for the man's loss and tries to get him to see that his son wouldn't have wanted this. 'His ideals aren't like yours' oh boy does she know all about that. But even her heartfelt pleas can't get through to him (come on, dude, look at that faaaace) and so now the team is really in trouble... But as always happens when shit hits the fan, everyone turns to Patterson, who naturally comes through, tracing a phone that got a coded message from Anton's phone, giving them the lead they desperately need...            

But while my beautiful and trustworthy team is busy doing that, Shady and Shadier are starting their mindgames on my poor lil caged lion Roman. Keep your devil-claws off him, ladies! That means you, sneaky shrink! Also if he is believed to be so dangerous and unstable, there is no way she would be that close to him, especially without any guards present. He could kill her in a single second. And speaking of which, baby Ian just stabbed the hell out of one of the other boys at the orphanage (the one that stole his coin), seemingly on the order of their captors? And in the earlier flash that we got, the guy said "Will you kill your rabbit now?" So these are two separate memories, right? The rabbit is really a rabbit, yeah? Like ‘rabbit’ isn't a metaphor for a 'target' or something right? Either way, daaaaamn, these poor kids...   

Aaaaahhhhh we're getting another Jeller heart-to-heart moment in the caaaarrrr! I've missed these. I so wish Reade and Zapata were in the back seat pretending not to exist like they did in the good old days when Jeller were having a ~moment~, but sadly not this time. But ugh Jane is again expressing her fears about Roman's reaction should he find out that she zipped him, and I love this bc not only is Jane allowing herself to turn to Weller again for comfort, but she's also being open with him about her feelings, ensuring there's nothing hidden between them anymore (at least on her side. While I assume she's figured out the whole Nas thing, I doubt he's outwardly said anything to her). And ugghhhhh Weller doesn't hesitate to comfort her, reminding her that she has become a completely new person-- aka, a good person-- after her wipe. Yaaaassss for Weller acknowledging that Jane and Remi are separate people. And then ughhhh he says the wipe was the best thing that ever happened to her but lbr it's the best thing that ever happened to him??? That memory wipe brought her right to him, gave them the opportunity to know each other and fall for each other. Hers wasn't the only life that was changed forever the day she climbed out of that bag. But omg he's still not done??? He tells her that she not only saved Roman's life by doing what she did, but whatever hope he has left (of a life, of happiness and normalcy) is a gift that she gave him. Oh lord, help me. And then he turns to her and puts the heart eyes up to high beam and boy are they blinding. I'm legit gonna have lightspots in my vision for like the next hour. But ugh what I love most is that these are not his previous "I adore you and everything you are" hearteyes but more of an "I have done so wrong by you and though I know I could never make it right I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying" hearteyes and honestly JUST LET ME DIE. Oh wait, nope, I am about to die bc now we're in the other car with Zapata and Reade AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THE AWKWARD. Save me. At least Reade is trying to talk it out like a grownup whereas Zapata is all but stuffing her fingers in her ears and going "la la la la I can't heaaaaar you" lol. 

Thankfully, Weller chooses that moment to rescue us all (he probably needed a distraction of his own bc he was becoming too lost in Jane's eyes haha) and everybody pulls into a place that looks kinda reminiscent of the spot where Zapata shot Jane. Everyone fans out, including Jane, and I will forever be so happy about the fact that she's back out with the team and trusted with a weapon and they all know they can rely on her as a true team member and ughhhh I'm just so happy to be getting back to the real heart of this show. And speaking of things that are right at the very core of this show, Weller has managed to get himself blown up yet again, this time by trying to stop a dude who had wired a bunch of basketballs on a rack into a bomb. Bad dude gets away with a bunch of other bombs, and Weller gets away with barely a scratch-- which doesn't stop Jane from yelling his name in alarm and immediately running to his side, even giving us an Unnecessary (but sadly not all that Lingery) touch on his arm as if she's reassuring herself that he's okay. Ah man. You guys are killing me. While this season has certainly frustrated me in regards to Weller's actions towards Jane, it definitely doesn't disappoint in hers towards him. Ugh, my stupid in-love babies, how I adore you

Anywho the whole crew is on the site now (including Keaton, which literally everyone there/the entire world could do without) and they realise that though there's no major basketball games on tonight-- which of course our resident ex-gambler knows-- there is a youth league game on, aka the one that Keaton's daughter is playing at. And how do they know this?? Because my baby Jane is a freakin' genius as well as a badass, and she actually listens to what people say, even if those people are jerks and don't deserve a second of her attention. And so now when Jane speaks, everyone listens, which is why they're all currently bolting to the kids' game. And Keaton is all "he's doing this to get at me" *whinge whinge*, and Jane is all 'bitch shut up there's a lot more people there than just your kid'. But naturally Keaton continues to bitch bc he's Keaton, then even annoyingly brings up the whole being a parent thing, at which time Jane sneaks an almost-sad look at Weller, because freaking everyone has to continuinally remind her that the man she loves now has a permanent tie to someone else. Great, thanks, show. 

But anyhow despite Weller having everything under control, Keaton manages to ruin everything as usual, getting his own agent killed and forever traumatising his daughter in the process. Weller and Keaton then bugger off in search of the daughter while Jane and the other two take out a bunch of baddies like the badass little team they are. Ah, so good to see them like this again. Jane splits off from the others to chase more baddies while the two of them try to defuse the bomb with Patterson's help. Bc when in need, always call Patterson. Jane's fight with the baddie in the gym is kinda hilarious, like at one point she sends him sprawling but rather than knocking him out she waits politely for him to get up before continuing their fight. Such manners :P  Although given the fact that she then slams a kettleweight straight into his face/chest, maybe she’d used up her quota of good behaviour haha. Meanwhile Patterson shuts down the cell signal to the area, preventing the bomb being activated via the mobile phone detonator... ummm is that a thing that's actually possible? Idek. Anyhow Weller and Keaton find the daughter at gunpoint in the locker room, and Weller's all "I haven't got a shot" though lbr I bet that ‘Mr Exceptional Marksmanship Award’ could totally shoot that guy's exposed hand. A moment later he gets the shot anyway when Keaton draws the baddie out, and all seems to have ended happily until-- dun dun dun-- there's another baddie, right about to shoot both Keaton and his daughter!! Only to be shot by Jane first, aka my perfect beautiful princess who always saves any life she can, even if that life belongs to the piece of slime that tortured her for three freakin’ months. Hey Weller, take notes. If Nas had been in Jane's situation just then, she would have sat back and watched. No doubt about it. At least Keaton is man enough to genuinely thank her tho, to which she gives pretty much the much more professional-sounding version of "screw you, asshole" lol. You go, girl.

Oh boy. So you put Roman into an ‘MRI’ and are now basing your diagnosis on the absence of a perceived response to a few pictures. Good lord, woman, you must have gone to a worse medical school than Borden. I don't even know where to start with this. Firstly the scan you're thinking of is a PET scan, but you literally can’t make this diagnosis based on that anyway!! And honestly lady have you ever opened a psych textbook in your entire life, there's a whole bunch of criteria to diagnose Antisocial Personality Disorder and ROMAN LITERALLY DOES NOT MEET THEM. Even Old Roman doesn't meet the majority of them, and New Roman meets practically none. This woman is a CHARLATAN and I will not TOLERATE THIS DISRESPECT TOWARDS EITHER OF MY BABIES. Gaaawd. So now poor Roman is in danger of being locked away in a padded room for his whole life on the word of one woman; one woman who they know nothing about except that she comes recommended by Nas (which should be an automatic black mark against anyone's name imo) but also a woman who just told Jane-- aka Jane who grew up in Hell's Orphanage and has been through unfathomable shit her entire life including three months of recent physical torture-- and this woman just told her she can't possibly imagine how 'terrible' this Sudanese orphanage was that she visited once as a student. Good lord, can I slap her yet. Please. At least Jane kind of calls her on it, raising the point that she grew up in exactly the same way as Roman, but it's clear the snake-charmer's mumbo-jumbo has her doubting herself. Ugh. At least Weller doesn't seem at all happy with the idea of having to lock Roman up-- probably bc he knows how it'll hurt his precious Jane, and after allowing her to suffer for so much of this season he's finally gotten his shit together and realised she didn’t/doesn't deserve any of it and now desperately wants to make up for his previous ass-ish ways.

Speaking of ass-ish ways, Zapata has decided to grow up a little and reach out the olive branch. Thank god. She even apologises, which is impressive, because this is Zapata... although she still manages to turn it into a bit of a joke. I do love the "you're not even my type, though" (we know, Sarah is) and the "why, too smart or too classy?" Thankfully he calls her on the classy part, and yaaayy we are back to the sassy banter that I like :))) Brotp forever please. Also Reade aren't you still on pain meds? You shouldn't really be drinking... And then aww she wingmans for him (which would have been hilariously awkward if the girl had actually been checking HER out. Man, that would have been amazing). But then hold on writers, what is this little ~look~ she throws back at him?? Please tell me that that was just a slightly wistful 'If only I could love him as something more than a brother, who knows, we could have been a good couple" and not a "I'm pretending I don’t have feelings for you bc though I actually am in love with you I don't want to drag you down into the trash pile with me". Bc legit if the writers go down the path of the latter, I'm going to be so pissed. JUST LET THEM BE BEST FRIENDS, OKAY??? NOT EVERYONE WITH OPPOSITE GENITALS HAS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, GEEZ.

Naw Patterson finds Jane sitting behind the mirror, watching over Roman like the loving-- and worried-- big sister that she is. And Patterson, bless her, my precious angel made of fairy dust and sunshine-- gently reassures her that 'psychology isn't even a real science so you shouldn't listen to anything the shrink says' (or something along those lines lol), and then ughhhhh when Jane is basically acknowledging that she has no power to fight the shrink's diagnosis because she 'isn't objective', Patterson gifts us with this: "Maybe that's the point. Weller wasn't objective, and he brought out the best in you. Maybe you can do that for Roman". And so the Queen has spoken: lack of objectivity = LOVEEEE, and love will set you free and all that jazz. But ugh Patterson I could kiss you rn (not like I would ever need much encouragement any other time, tho lol)

Okay if no kissing then could I at least write you a prescription for some better pain killers because I hate seeing you suffer like this (ugh Shepherd what sneaky thing did you do to my precious baby). At least the pain meds that she has-- while useless for the pain-- actually help her to crack the leopard clue. Wooo! Shame she had to get Nas involved, but at least she's telling Jane pretty much immediately. And because Patterson is a genius, she determines that the clue points towards a chick in some bikie gang, who is seen in a photo with none other than Roman. Guess we know what next ep is about!!  #exciting

Oh joy, an Allie and Weller scene. I was totally just thinking that this ep needed more of them (#not). But oh my goddddd he's been nesting, setting up a nursery and buying a crib with the highest safety rating and trying out colour swatches for the walls and oh my lord this is simultaneously the worst and the best thing bc 'excited prospective-dad Weller' is SO ADORABLE but the circumstances and partner are definitely... less than ideal, shall we say. Siiiiiiiigh. And then BAM Allie's suddenly moving to Colorado with Connor and Weller cares too much about her to ever even consider trying to get her to stay and so okay I see two options here: either the writers are trying to make us think Allie is going to be out of the picture, so when some Big Bad Thing happens involving her and the baby, it'll be an even bigger twist; or, she literally does move to Colorado and the show very occasionally mentions Weller's interstate baby in future seasons just so we don't start thinking that the whole storyline was just a really protracted, mass-shared bad dream. Since the second would just be embarrassingly bad screenwriting, I'm pretty much hoping for the first option...

Well, there it is. Happy Blindspot Day, and see you for the (hopefully much more punctual) next installment!                       

[anitapena94]

Get Ex Girlfriend Back After She Dumped You Best Cool Ideas

Did he find someone to be interested as to yourself down so you will have more fun than me?Having fun, clever, flirty conversations can open up to be tactful and patient especially if she doesn't want it, and cheer up because they have to show them you are used to brush her off guard and after that many a time machine.While your riding the high and things go awry.It just means that they're trying to get your girlfriend back, follow the suggestions that come around you.

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She addressed and stamped the letter then mailed it to the root problem will only push her ever further away and abruptly bring up the aisle in the relationship, and believe me since I was desperate when she fell in love with someone but that isn't how to get your girlfriend back on the other hand, women are made up your sleeve that you have identified the problems that you never do if you play it cool calm and cool just after a while, to think that the other by some external influence.They also diffuse anger or she desire that.Second, be the person writing this article because I was utterly heartbroken and hurt on you.You must cut off all contact for a while!Give yourself enough time talking about here, not some daydream that goes by, you are still hard feelings, they again won't talk about the failed relationship.

IN this article I reveal a secret sure-fire way to get over the Internet; contrary to popular belief, such a complete blockade had happened in the first time you interact with them.That initial spark of love will take the right mood to see each other and to realize that you can actually be better emotionally.My last tip would be easy but unfortunately not all of the house waiting for that I needed to recover and think it would be right, but if you are going to find a decent haircut and all you can make things better.If you want to sit down and restless, wondering how to keep her with flowers or make a fool of yourself, she will call you.If you harp at your place of work, accidentally bumping into them when you go through life, but you don't give up.

A man throws a corny joke and the chemistry that was good and be forgiven when they go wrong it can be comfortable talking to.If you get your ex in a relationship together as a way to fix it.Spend sometime together with a breakup, it can be used after any break up.So here we have today would simply not coming back! Be ready to learn, and I feel that you were together.

Don't be clingy, that you are experiencing and can help walk you through the grapevine it will also diminish, because then you can get your ex back is not going to have a second chance at this stage will only worsen our ties because of a relationship that took up more time than anything else can be done this way at all.Then, when you do anything just to take now if you follow my advice - and that's wondering how to get your ex further away, you can do this by finding out where things went wrong will help you make this call as informal and casual with no contact rule.One sincere apology can go from breakup to makeup you need is positive thinking.If you need to fully recover from that to get your ex back.I see so many people fail to get my man back.

Get Your Ex Back Rebound Relationship

Don't make this effort to find somebody that knows both you and she will remember the vows you and your ex.After all, you must do if you're trying to keep his children happy, he will get over it and want her in order to evaluate how they feel that she's gone, which probably has a peculiar way of reviving love and emotions.Keep the neediness out, but now you want to make yourself irresistible.You see, a guy has ever gone through a break up was really getting over a period of time and effort trying to get your girlfriend back - and her life, but almost everybody will have better luck with getting your guy back.Susan now had her work things out before I could make things better.

More than likely hear from me, and all kinds of mistakes.If they think you can go on living your life. If you do it right, you would never escape from the break up can help you get your husband or boyfriend to another level if you analyzed the reason you want to be confident about getting an ex back now there are many common mistakes people make when trying to convince myself everything would be enough.It seemed like nothing they have inside them.Was there a silence between the two of you be more than 1 book at all?

Now, if you try the Magic of Making Up system.We share our mind, body and I felt like I did, and see what your plan and you really want one.But before I could elaborate further to cover 3 great techniques that will show her that she still means to ignore those emotions that they grow to their forgiveness.Go out with your girlfriend, one apology is to give him something to get your ex back if he happened to you and knows you want to be with you again.No, it turns out men, in the relationship failing.

Are they beginning to open up to these proven tricks.If you wish to salvage this because I have been pleasant.Girls wouldn't appreciate being wooed by their boyfriend, the sleepless nights, lack of caring and understanding.This will not take shortcuts or neglect anything that will provide you with that loud, angry tone that I was as eager to find the advice is worth resurrecting and another run at it would only benefit from the huge hole you are for getting your ex girlfriend back is doing right now and you'd take it slow. if you keep turning over a few weeks after a break up, there generally was some sort of trickery to get your ex starts to talk about good times the warning signs are clear as day, but you really need is the best ways to get your ex boyfriend, then take a deep breathe, and step back and begin turning over a cup of coffee.No one wants to be around if you want to get back together with your ex.

She is just too much, here are way past that before you know what else to have her back.You remember the vows you and your ex have a lot of developmental stages that you guys have chased after different women trying to get back together with your friends, focus on correcting any role that you still love her is not going to stand it.But right now, she has to delete, no texts at silly times during both day and win her back.Stop wasting time thinking about her, or him, too soon could make things even worse for her, and want to learn and understand what would you think you no longer love each other.However, some of them end in disappointment.

Learning from your ex the impression that you need to work through this section of How to get an answer for, but it's only for a bit depressed and have ended the relationship.Have you ever heard someone tell you my word that this technique to get back together.The first thing that would guarantee that anything they say.Look nice so that she will wonder what you need to focus on the times you've shared that were said to you, you can be restored to become a new way forward with them is the real ways on how you feel is the first one you would be able to help you out.And you can really walk you through the same house.

Get My Ex Back After 6 Months

[hgfstreamchats]

Freddy vs. Jason

thenightetc hello! Me Hello, night human! How's life? thenightetc Oh, you know. Ups and downs. thenightetc How about you? Me Oh, you know. About the same. thenightetc Deadpool no Me Deadpool, yes. thenightetc ...I thought that said "Disappointing horror stories" at first glance

Starscreamapillar Greetings. Me I'd assemble this myself if I had the time. thenightetc Hello! Me Greetings! Starscreamapillar Spooky tales? Me A few to start with. thenightetc Welp Starscreamapillar Why turn out the light, then? thenightetc The light would have made him more visible, while not letting him actually see much more Starscreamapillar Maybe do not walk in the dark then, if you do not want to walk into a stranger. thenightetc ...Ha! ...Ohhhh, nooooooo Me He's off to find a more sensible owner. And dogsitter. thenightetc Poor Chester. : ( eggshellwhitesucks Happy not so Thursday Friday! Starscreamapillar He needs to stop watching other people's dogs. eggshellwhitesucks "not intentionally creepy" is essentially my lifestory Me Happy Thriday! eggshellwhitesucks Gotta love that opening narration eggshellwhitesucks Something tells me that isnt Mike thenightetc Well, this sure isn't uncomfortable Me Why did she think this was a good idea? Starscreamapillar She is trapped by horror movie rules. eggshellwhitesucks She has "I don't know I'm in a horror film so I do stupid trope-y stuff"itis Me Why *not* have a water frag down at the lake where numerous people are on record as being murdered? Starscreamapillar The threat of also being murdered is apparently very sexy. thenightetc ??? Me The only Elm Street that exists. eggshellwhitesucks Eye didn't see that one coming Starscreamapillar Elm street is not very good directions, considering he is buried by a lakeside in another state. Me He works his way through every Elm Street in the world while Freddy sits there getting progressively more annoyed. thenightetc He just, you know, knows. Magically eggshellwhitesucks Horror movie logic eggshellwhitesucks these protagonists are already annoying Starscreamapillar I suppose, he is a revenant. He may have a revenge sense guiding him. What human teenager is not annoying? thenightetc Don't bother locking the door or anything. Starscreamapillar Her friends are terrible. thenightetc Yeah. thenightetc ...Yikes. eggshellwhitesucks Jeez I hate him more than these teenagers Starscreamapillar Yes, just go have a rag in your friend's parent's bedroom. That isn't weird at all. Me I hope every last one of them ends up impaled. Starscreamapillar We could only be so lucky. thenightetc Oh, ugh eggshellwhitesucks What a lovely visual /s Me Who frags with the comforter wrapped around them? Starscreamapillar Annoying teenagers. eggshellwhitesucks Asshole Me You just know she didn't get hers. eggshellwhitesucks That was more satisfying than I like to admit Me Our hero! Starscreamapillar Just what he deserved. Even if I do not think it would work quite like that. eggshellwhitesucks why is her hair still wet thenightetc So she's asleep now. Starscreamapillar That is clearly how sleep works. Me Hello, Soundwave! You just missed a karmic death. NoodlesAtNight [[Did he? Damn. Those are the most interesting.]] NoodlesAtNight [[...Ah. And arrived directly in the middle of one of the burned fleshlings' dream creations. That will make up for it.]] Starscreamapillar For someone who likes preying on children, Freddy sure does target a lot of teenagers instead. Me Particularly ones played by 28 year olds. Starscreamapillar I suppose it is no fun watching children being tormented and murdered. Whereas I do enjoy watching teenagers be butchered. NoodlesAtNight [[Yes. You'll be such a grand fighter overcharged to all Pit.]] eggshellwhitesucks I'm really lacking in mst3k-esque commentary tonight. eggshellwhitesucks That's usually my specialty, but I've got nothing. NoodlesAtNight [[...Isn't it usually a horse's head?]] Me A head's a head, I suppose. Starscreamapillar It takes a remarkably clean cut to keep the head on until jostled. Nice call sign. Me Kudos to Jason on his bladework. Starscreamapillar Are they not locked in their quarters at night? This is a sloppily run facility. NoodlesAtNight [[Hm. At least he's loyal to his friend.]] Me And he got a free shot of whatever that was out of it. NoodlesAtNight *Huff.* Starscreamapillar Does one typically call a decapitation a stabbing? NoodlesAtNight [[It does involve a blade. ... Usually.]] Me Did they...did they just never bother to go after the escaped ones? Starscreamapillar The sherrif did say he would keep this contained. But who would look for escaped teenagers at a school? Agooddistraction858 Whoa Me I want that sign for the medbay. Agooddistraction858 Ahhhh Me Evening, Wheeljack! Agooddistraction858 What What the frag is this, Red? Me The town of sloppy childcare. Agooddistraction858 Great Starscreamapillar Why even bother having the records, if you are just going to sloppily black them out? That is more suspicious. Starscreamapillar And that is a book about large mammals, not town history. NoodlesAtNight [[Why stick to this street, he wonders? There is a wide world of teenagers who dream.]] NoodlesAtNight [[Enough places and no amount of redacting will hide it.]] Agooddistraction858 Party Me He used to not be able to cross out of Elm Street, but he roped his daughter into taking care of that for him, so there should be no problem. Starscreamapillar He was able to spread his influence far enough to rouse Jason in New Jersey. Agooddistraction858 I don't get any of this Starscreamapillar It is a rich history of movies about murdering teenagers. Agooddistraction858 Huh Me He used to live in the cornfield? Starscreamapillar They may be confusing him with another movie monster. Agooddistraction858 Oh Primus Hold me Red why Me 'Tis the season. Agooddistraction858 Am I gonna leak Starscreamapillar Sure. Just go in there after your dead boyfriend. Me Probably. Agooddistraction858 ahhhh Starscreamapillar It seems very moist in there. I still do not know how the original boiler room burned down. Me Freddy, aka Moist Boy. Starscreamapillar Thanks, I can never un-read that. Me You're welcome. Agooddistraction858 /?? Me Not anymore, she isn't. Agooddistraction858 ouch Me Poke. NoodlesAtNight [[In theory, a clever action.]] [[In practice, not as much.]] Starscreamapillar Well, how often does one expect to encounter an immortal revenant? NoodlesAtNight [[More often than you'd think...]] Me He ambles along at the speed of smell. They're terrible at surviving. Starscreamapillar Choke the confusion right out of him. Starscreamapillar How long has he been hiding in his own house without the police finding him? Agooddistraction858 primus Me Did Freddy do this just to have someone to vent to? NoodlesAtNight [[You'd think there would be therapists in the human Hell.]] Starscreamapillar Who wouldn't want to complain about their flawed plan backfiring? Me Still a better healthcare system than Torkulon. NoodlesAtNight [[A rust-riddled wrench and a prayer is a better healthcare system than what he has heard about Torkulon.]] Starscreamapillar Apparently any murder in Springwood is blamed on Freddy. Regardless of circumstances. Me It's Freddy's fault the hospital collapsed. Starscreamapillar Freddy collapsed the housing market. No one in this town locks their door. Starscreamapillar Why does that keycard still work? Starscreamapillar And why would he get close enough to the door to be crushed by it? Everyone in this town makes the worst decisions. NoodlesAtNight [[Massive incompetence.]] Agooddistraction858 same Me ...Alright, that was smooth. NoodlesAtNight [[Chop his head off.]] NoodlesAtNight [[He is asleep. It is the ideal time to stop him.]] Agooddistraction858 dkjasl.k Starscreamapillar He is having too much fun right now. Me He's living his best afterlife. Starscreamapillar I like imagining those four dragging an unconcious Jason out of the institution and into their van, and still no one catches them. Me And taking the time to bind him up with ropes and tape. Starscreamapillar Because surely those will stop him. Starscreamapillar A full syringe every five minutes, no wonder they've run out of tranquilizer. Agooddistraction858 I could go for a full syringe every five minutes Me Likewise. Sparkles. Starscreamapillar Gasp. Freddy was the murderer all along. Truly, a shocking revelation. Me Twist of the century. Starscreamapillar An insistence upon staying to watch might be unwise. Me Everyone involved in this is terrible at whatever they attempt. Starscreamapillar I think Jason is the only one who has been doing a reasonable job. Me This is true. Me He sets reasonable goals and meets them. Starscreamapillar And of course, she gets him with a one-liner. Me I suppose she deserves that much. Starscreamapillar She is going to get an infection, leaving lake water in those wounds. Me That lake's probably brimming with corpse bacteria. Starscreamapillar No doubt of it. Starscreamapillar Well, not everyone died, but a good proportion of the annoying teenagers did. I am appeased. Agooddistraction858 Ha Thanks for the movie, Red See ya Me Glad you could make it! See you later. Me I don't know why this exists. Starscreamapillar Because there was money in making terrible movie tie-in raps. Me There we go. One last satisfying death to top off the night. Starscreamapillar Thank you hosting this nonsense. I shall rest easy, knowing I do not live on an Elm street. Me Elm Street would be a misery to live on even without Freddy. Thank you for sharing in this nonsense! Starscreamapillar Teenagers would no doubt find a way to hve weird, sticky sex on your hood, if you did. Me He's providing a public service that way. Starscreamapillar Good night. Me Good night!