#and it satisfies my desire for more demons to have three different plans where they come out on top running at all times

[pinbitch]

"and i am CONVINCED that it was azazel scheming to put someone else on the throne of hell to BLOCK lucifer’s ascension from the cage" literally stopped and stared bc i've never heard this one before, can you please elaborate

oh yes! i love this theory! be prepared for a LONG ANSWER

so basically imo the boyking and lucifer’s vessel arcs don’t entirely mesh. why go through all the trouble of creating all the special children and having them compete when sam is the one who HAS to be lucifer’s vessel? what’s the point of creating a monarch who is powerful enough and motivated to rule hell in their own right if they’re just gonna be possessed by lucifer? and why still be feeding babies demon blood in series 1? we know lucifer told azazel to find a child, to find his vessel, but having that child rule hell as the demons were expecting per the boyking comment doesn’t make sense. why would the winner of azazel’s contest ever give up their power and their BODY to be lucifer’s puppet? it doesn’t make sense

so, what does? (or at least is fun and interesting to think about)

i’ve always though demons as a whole should have been more conniving. the hell politics we got were always too simplistic. where are the SCHEMES. surely crowley wasn’t the only one who realised that lucifer had an even lower opinion of demons than of humanity and didn’t want him ruling?

azazel knew lucifer personally, was created by lucifer personally. he knows exactly what lucifer is like, so why wouldn’t he have an accurate understanding of how fucked demonkind would be if lucifer came back and the apocalypse started? also, he’s running hell, why would he want to give up that power? but he’d also want plausible deniability, both so he could control the demons who still support lucifer (like lilith and his own daughter meg!) and also on the off chance he failed and lucifer did rise

which leads us to the special children. this is where i get more into the realm of headcanon in terms of what hell is actually like, but i still think it tracks with the show. the descriptions of hell and the visuals of hell we get are all wildly different. crowley’s queue, dean’s pit, sam’s medieval dungeon, meg’s bone and blood and pain. they’re different enough that i think hell changes based in your perception. either to what will make you suffer the most (dean and meg), or if you’re powerful enough what you tell it to be (crowley very much on purpose, sam subconsciously. he created hell into somewhere he could relatively easily rescue bobby from)

all this to say that hell is a living thing. it can accept or reject a ruler, and the more accepted they are the harder it is for a ruler to be deposed. if they’re integrated with hell enough they simply can’t be. lucifer as the creator of demonkind and original ruler should be the best fit and the most accepted, but lucifer doesn’t want hell, he’ll always resent being there instead of heaven, so hell will never completely accept him. and a demon will never truly be accepted either, because they’re not lucifer and they’re not an angel, so they’re not enough like him to be a fully effective substitute

but a human with demon blood? they’re closer to the divine than a demon, but they don’t know heaven to long for it. there’s every possibility that hell would accept that special child more than azazel and more than lucifer, and because that child has the full power and support of the creature that is hell they might be able to hold the cage closed even with lilith’s death, or simply stop lucifer from taking power in hell once he’s risen, or even outright kill lucifer

so with that in mind, of course sam is the favourite. azazel is gambling here so he’s keeping his options open with multiple candidates, but lucifer’s true vessel is always gonna have the best chance of being accepted by hell and taking lucifer’s place. as long as he can control sam he’s coming up roses

but then azazel dies, and i don't see him trusting his true plans and motivations to any other demon, so they all just play out the apocalypse like they thought they were supposed to from the start. except for the crowleys (and in my headcanon ruby but that’s a question for when i finally finish and publish kindred instruments rip) who are smart enough to figure out that lucifer views them as vaguely useful cockroaches

obviously this is a watsonian answer to a doylist question, but i always find those the most fun anyway

[myrulia]

About the Kokushibou x Muzan little sister ask can I get prompt 8 please 😅 sorry for the inconvenience.

.｡.:*✧Prompt 8: "It feels right, promise I don't mind."

.｡.:*✧Warnings: Slight sexual tension

╰╴⇢｡.:*✧A/N: If an appearance/personality is made evident, then it is because you are related to Muzan.

`` [Y/N], my beloved sister, have you considered ever finding a suitable partner such as I did? ``

Your elder brother, Lord Kibutsuji Muzan, spoke as you both were seated in one of the many rooms of the Infinity Castle that was well away from everyone else since your discussion held private matters. 

`` Brother, you made your past wives go insane, and the one you have now is a fake. So therefore, it does not count. ``

Muzan let out a huff of annoyance at the same time you did, the habit being something you both inherited unfortunately which led to the Upper Moon Two to tease you about, which led to him becoming disciplined right after.

`` That is not the point. [Y/N], I do not want you to be alone- ``

`` But I'm not alone, I have you and the other Upper Moons..- ``

`` Ah yes, the Upper Moons you say? ``

There was a glint of mischievousness in Muzan's eyes that you became all too accustomed with, knowing he was coming up with a great plan that you know utterly nothing about. Truth be told, finding a partner would not seem like the worst thing, but your stubbornness has stopped you from giving into your older brother's wishes.

`` Since you brought up the Upper Moons, I'll start from there. ``

You quirked a brow up in response to his choice of words, crossing your arms habitually and holding the same accursed scowl Muzan would also make during his meetings.

`` Why don't you get to know them, `` he started, referring to the higher ranks. `` The Upper Three ranks would make suitable partners and would have no trouble protecting you when I am absent. ``

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose trying to see a somewhat decent future with any of them. Sure, the idea had its pros, but far too many cons, especially with Douma. He was tall and handsome, sure, but had little to no emotions whatsoever and was too much of a masochist for you to handle.

Then there is Akaza. He was respectful to women and you actually found that trait attractive, but he was too focused on becoming strong and probably would not even give you the attention you would need.

Lastly, Kokushibou. An even taller demon who was quiet, well reserved, and surprisingly good looking despite having three sets of eyes. For once, you did not know the male's motives due to his nature, which allured you to him further. You have tried to strike up a conversation but he was quick to end it and would disappear somewhere else in the Castle.

`` Muzan, I would never consider Douma suitable, Akaza is a 50/50 chance, but Kokushibou- well..- ``

`` Well? ``

You wanted to voice out your opinion of the Upper Moon One to your brother, but knowing him, he would rat you out instantly just so that your relationship with him would get a move on so he can be satisfied.

`` Actually, nevermind, I'll take some time to think about it brother. ``

You got up from your chair and exited from the large room, jumping from the balcony and onto another platform. You repeated this process until you were well away from Muzan's quarters.

You were not even set on a destination, you just wanted to clear your head of his desire to find you a future husband. The idea was not a bad one, in fact it was a smart move in the first place, but it felt forced and not genuine to have to pick based off your brother telling you to.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you did not notice the large figure just in front of you, and before you knew it, you bumped right into the figure's back, causing it to fall over with you on top. 

`` Who- ``

`` I apologize! `` You blurted out before the voice could finish. `` I was not looking where I was going and ended up tumbling onto you so I'm sorry. ``

You quickly got off of the large figure who also stood up and adjusted his hakama accordingly that got slightly messed up in the fall. Once the figure is turned around, you are met with 3 pairs of eyes glaring down at your shorter form. It was none other than Kokushibou, or better known as the Upper Rank One based on the kanji in his eyes. You look stunned as you take in his appearance. You expected a much more piercing gaze due to him usually having one, but instead of that, his face was more relaxed and dare I say neutral.

`` There is no need princess, `` the male said as he bowed in respect, not daring to leave unless you order for him to do so. The demons that lurked around the Castle were ordered by your high and mighty older brother to refer to you as "Princess" since he deems himself as the king. You objected of course, but in this moment you had no ounce of rejection to give. Usually you would dismiss the demons that call you such a thing, but it felt different with Kokushibou.

`` Still I bumped into yo- nevermind. Kokushibou I can trust you right? ``

Your question came out of the blue for the demon. Why were you suddenly asking if you can trust a man like him? Of course he did devote his life to both you and Muzan but his inner feelings and self doubt block himself from doing so fully. You always made things difficult for him.

`` Yes, you can entrust me with your life. ``

`` Are you only saying that because my brother told you to, or are you genuine? ``

The demon was rather taken aback by your bold choice of words, his eyes slightly enlarging before going back to a neutral expression. He tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, confusion taking over his features.

`` Why would I not want to protect someone dear to me? ``

You took a singular step back, desperately fighting the heat rushing to your cheeks and so to not embarrass yourself in front of him you covered the bottom half of your face and feigning a look of pondering. 

`` If you are genuine as you claim to be, then I shall tell you. Muzan wants me to find a suitable partner. ``

You were blunt yet again, believing that sugarcoating information only draws away time that could be spent doing something much more worthwhile. You removed your hand from your face, now holding a stern look with the much taller Upper Moon whose expression has shifted. A visible vein was pulsing on his neck that you learned was due to annoyance.

`` Have you found anyone? `` Kokushibou said with no clear indication of aggravation, but you knew of the male's habits from the years that you have you have to learn of the Upper ranks and their habits. You stepped closer towards him until your chest dangerously brushed against his, your hand reaching up to his hand and grabbing it gently. Kokushibou tensed up at the feeling of your soft hand being interlocked with his, so much so that he could not take his eyes off of your enticing ones. 

`` Yes. You. ``

You stood on your tippy toes just to move closer to his face. His height may have been an obstacle but you succeeded, leaving the demon to be well enough flustered for it to be noticeable. Your little manipulative tactics resembled those of Muzan's, you are siblings after all. You tugged your hand away from his, sliding it up his forearm ever so slowly and to his chest, resting there and not daring to break the eye contact you have built.

`` Even though I am directly blood related to Muzan, would you be willing to be my partner and love me for who I am instead of who I am related to? ``

Kokushibou was well aware of what you meant with those words, after all he himself is very intelligent and could see through your advances. But even so, he found himself falling for them time and time again. You could simply be doing your hair and his mind would wander to how your raven locks would feel in between his fingers. With you being his Lord's younger sister, he thought it would be practically sinning to think of you in such ways, but now that the opportunity presented itself, he would not let it slip from his grasp.

`` It feels right, promise I don't mind. ``

`` That's all I needed to hear from you Kokushibou. `` 

It took one small lean forward for your lips to land on his. Kokushibou instinctively returned the kiss as if he was programed to do so, except it was his full will driving him forward to finally have you as his own. To be able to have you by his side was almost a dream come true for him without even realizing it. Demons are essentially deprived of any real feeling so to have you return his feelings of infatuation fed into his desire all the same.

Although before the kiss could turn into a much more scandalous one, you retracted, but cupped his face in your hands.

`` Would He approve of this? `` Kokushibou asked whilst peering into your enchanting eyes again. His hands had moved to your waist but were quickly removed after the kiss, his own fears blocking him from allowing himself to submit to your enticing touch.

`` I don't need his approval, I am my own person who can make her own decisions. But, it was his idea so there is no need to worry. ``

`` That is all I needed to hear. ``

Kokushibou was the one who leaned forward this time, but before your lips could connect, he went to your neck and bit on your skin harshly which was bound to leave a mark. You gripped at his hair and tugged him away from your neck after you let out a small whine since your greed was increasing.

`` I am simply marking what is mine now, isn't that right, Princess? ``

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

[unholyplumpprincess]

Could you do something with Nathaniel/the Djinn getting fed up with Reader's taunting after they refuse time and time again to make their wishes, knowing well he can't really do much to them until they do. But he devises a plan that will both please himself as well as his mate..

Mayhaps, breeding kink, spanking and leetle humiliation?

Tfw u get a request from ur bf and u have to wait until u know ur gonna get his request Perfect before u do it. Anyway, welcome to center stage my bf Sprite with his first request! Also this ended up more of a drabble, oops.

!!!Minors and ageless blogs dni as this is adult content, you will be blocked!!!

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Reader is gender neutral and has a vulva, breeding kink, possessiveness, canon implications of violence/horror, inhuman anatomy bc hey he's a demon, miiild somno?? Ish??

___

Thousands of years old. A millennium. He's walked these planes since before humans were so easily twisted by desire. He's seen chaos, he's seen death, he's seen humans in hysteria- hell, he's even tasted the sweet morsels on his tongue in bed before. Nothing shook the Djinn, nothing made him want more than the taste of control. The idea that this little planet could be dominated by one being- him.

And then you'd awakened him. An accident, as it always is. You'd been defending yourself, fearfully trying to escape a man he'd later find out was a stalker and abuser. Knocking over a specially formed rock and releasing his gem. Why, the Djinn really had no other choice than to make his appearance known. In the end it saved you and got him a body- so what was the harm?

The harm? You reacted differently. You hadn't even looked startled by his presence. You'd downright ran to him, clinging to his arm and sobbing and blubbering your 'thank you's. Such a strange reaction, but even then, he'd soon find out that you were a strange human.

Death? Seen it, felt it. Chaos? Seen it, felt it. Hatred? Seen it, felt it. And yet the term 'love' never could come into his experiences. It started with this affectionate little twist when he explained his game. Three wishes, three. Anything you could have ever wanted. And you'd smiled in your little apartment where he stood, asking if he was a Djinn. When he'd smirked, a flick of his forked tongue, and asked if you wished for this knowledge to be revealed, you'd only grinned back at him and stated, "That answered it already, thank you."

Something about your genuine delight should have disturbed him. But he found himself...curious. Curious for the first time in a long time.

You'd ensnared this demon's attention.

~Rest under the cut~

You don't seem to react to his human suit any differently than his regular one. In fact, you invite him into your home. Making space on the couch for him, pillow and all. Like he's some sort of roommate. When he questions this, you sip your coffee at the table and peek over at him with a hum of, "What? No one ever thought to keep you in their line of sight to make sure you weren't up to no good?" Only to offer him something to eat.

Strange thing you were.

But, he supposes, he liked that you were strange. Especially when people start to question your new roommate. Without missing a beat, you'd gesture to Nathaniel with a smile and hold onto his arm and introduce him as your long distance boyfriend. Your friends and family seemed satisfied with this answer. And something...possessive activated in him.

What? If he was to play the part of boyfriend, should he not treat you as such?

Of course, this doesn't stop him from poking at you. "Your three wishes, child." Being growled at you late at night, only for you to lay across his lap on the couch and groan out a, "Ask me tomorrow, big guy." And he'd begrudgingly huff. Watching as your eyes would shut and you'd sleep on him of all things.

He could have hurt you. Could have plucked your eyes from your head. Could have woken you to frighten you. And what does he do instead? Lift his clawed hand and pull a blanket over you and stay perfectly still just...watching you as you slept.

Nathaniel's moment comes weeks later when your sister is visiting. The baby is nearing a year old, and you watch as you happily scoop the baby from your sister's arms to give her a break to sit and mingle with him. But he can't take his eyes off you as you sit with the baby and talk to them with their baby babbles and coos filling the room. You're talking about your studies at college, crooning about the occult and demonology, a smile on your face.

"They're good with her, huh?" Your sister's voice cuts through his thoughts, her shoulder nudging Nathaniel's in such a human gesture it could make him gag. "Ever think about having a family, Nathaniel? They've always wanted one, ya know."

Now that was interesting.

"Oh? I do not believe we have had that discussion yet." He presses, looking her direction briefly as you now walk around with the baby supported in your arms and letting them play with your hair. Something carnal twisting in his mind as he imagines you- swollen with his child, your breasts full-

Swollen with his child...

--

When your sister leaves that night, Nathaniel takes it upon himself to slide behind you while you're making yourself tea. His hands slide over your hips, up your sides, blunt human nails sliding up your shirt. You jump a bit, your back flush with his chest, trapped by the countertop as his hands circle around to brush your stomach. He likes the way you smell now. Like pheromones. Arousal.

"You yearn for a child of your own," He starts, his voice low in your ear, dragging his nails over your flesh and enjoying how your breath hitches. "Why not wish for one?"

You groan, despite how you shudder when his teeth nip your ear. "Nathaniel I'm not playing this game with you-"

"No game." He ensures, despite his grin as his fingers tug your hips back against him. He is a simple man after all, hard against your ass and tasting your desire like a fine wine. "If I am to play the role of your little 'boyfriend', should I not commit? Sex is only a human desire, after all."

"Human, huh?" You breathily speak, rolling your hips back into him and making Nathaniel grunt, squeezing your hips tighter. "Seems like you're pretty into it too."

"A minor inconvenience." He lies, feeling the shift start as his blunt nails turn into claws. His teeth turning sharp as he traces his forked tongue down your neck just to hear you moan. It makes him snarl back. "Do not distract me, child."

He flips you then, your back to the counter, lifting you so your legs go around his waist. You don't hesitate to hook your arms around his neck, your lips so close to his own as he leans in, lips parted to show his sharp teeth and his forked tongue flicking across your quivering lips. "Do you wish for a child?"

"I desire a child," You reword, a smirk flicking across your lips and making him snarl as he ruts his hips against yours. Aching to be free, to be inside you, to stop your relentless teasing- "Do you wish to give me one?"

"Yesss-" Nathaniel's voice is caught between a snarl and a hiss, rutting his hips in a steady rhythm to hump you. You're starting to pant, your breath mingling with his own and driving him further into snarling. "Your wish shall be my command- just say the word- I shall give you a child. Anything you wish for. I can give you my cock, I can make you feel pleasures you have never known-"

"I don't wish," You murmur, brushing your lips across his and making Nathaniel snarl as he slams you further back onto the counter. "Nathaniel, you can have me. Please j-just-"

"Is that your wish?" He growls back on your mouth, grinning and delighting in how you groan, your nails curling against his back.

"If that will get you to just fuck me already-"

"Your wish is my command."

--

You end up getting more than you bargain for. You've been a teasing menace to him, and Nathaniel is rather pent up from all of it. You end up across his lap, your ass getting slapped and you're made to count. You end up being called a tease, a whore, a poor little child as you sob and whine with his fingers curling into you.

You had expected him to be a taker of pleasure- not a fucking service top of all things. Not when he's between your legs, holding your legs over his shoulders and licking and sucking you raw. His teeth skimming your clit, his long forked tongue slipping into you and his burning eyes on you the whole time. You're helpless but to hold onto his horns, bucking against his mouth until you've cum again and again on his tongue with cries.

It doesn't help he keeps commenting on your scent. Burying his face against your lower abdomen and inhaling you with a low growl of, "How fertile you are, little one. Such a perfect little breeder you shall be for me. How beautiful you shall be all swollen with my young." And feeling with his fingers just how dripping wet you get with it. Each wet squelch of his fingers slipping into you just to feel how you squeeze him with his filthy words.

His cock is only revealed when you're a mess of sobs and pleading for him to just fuck you. And you understand why he was so diligent in stretching you and ensuring you were relaxed. He's not only big, but knotted. A tapered tip and blackened flesh with the same thick swirls on his chest curling around it. Numerous gold barbells line the underside, starting just above the swell of a thick knot heading into what appears to be a black sheath.

You end up on all fours with your stomach being cradled in his hands as he snarls of how he can feel himself inside you, that you'll make a wonderful little breeder, that you're so tight. That he knows you love his filthy words because you squeeze his cock inside of you even tighter like a hungry little whore.

--

When the night is over, you're cleaned up and tended to. Held in his arms as you sleep peacefully with his cum still leaking out of you. Something he scoops up, shoving gently inside of you as you rest, which only makes you squirm and whimper briefly in your sleep. It makes him salivate.

This wish wouldn't count, he decides. Not when he wished for it too.

[falsegoodnight]

these are the fics I read or reread and enjoyed this month! like last time, i’m separating it into different sections: main list, podfics, wips, and non-1d. rereads will be included in the main list and marked with *.

*note: this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 1st to the 25th and any fics read after will be included in next month’s fic rec list because otherwise this is going to be obnoxiously long. 

—

main list ~

✰ black cherries and chocolate by @harryanthus​ | NR | 666 (intense and jarring in the best way. this leaves you with that heart-racing feeling and panic crawling up your throat)

There is something or well, someone in the walls.

✰ keep secrets just to keep you by @hadestyles​ | T | 1k (loved this so much!! and need 1000000 more royalty abos from rori immediately)

“With the elements as my witness, I take you to be my husband. My heartbeat begins with you and ends with you, Louis Tomlinson.” Louis sinks to his knees as well, salty tears mixing with the pure rainwater. “And I take you as mine. My heart beats for you and with you.”

✰ bitter coffee and sweet love by @dontfuckwithmyotp​ | G | 1k (so cute and sweet!! proud of you ari for getting your first fic out and excited to see what you do next!)

“Hello! Welcome to The Busy Bean! Are you new?” Louis blinked in surprise at the voice and looked around to find the source. “Behind you,” The person tapped his shoulder once and he whirled around at the unexpected touch.

“Hey! Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to interrupt a person—” His rant stopped when he finally faced them. It was a guy—Harry Styles, according to his small black name tag. His eyes widened in embarrassment.

✰ turn your mic off, baby by @vogueharrystan​ | E | 2k (i love when lilli writes harry’s pov. this was so hot!)

Louis walks around the house naked all day and ignores Harry to play video games instead. Harry gets tired of it.

✰ This Could Be Love by mulletharry | G | 2k (such a cute and perfect little valentine’s day fic! put the biggest smile on my face <3)

Harry and Louis have been together for four months. They spend their first Valentine’s Day together.

✰ you appear as my soul by @hadestyles​​ | T | 2k (so gorgeous and raw)

He aches — not as much as Louis, he could never imagine all that he bears quietly — and as cruel as it sounds, it keeps reminding him of how fragile they are.

✰ the energy from your body by sweetielouis | E | 3k (hilarious, hot, and cute!)

Harry and his friends have a popular podcast, for the Valentines Day special they get a bit drunk and talk a bit too comfortably about their friends arses.

It's a good thing Louis doesn't mind it all that much. 

✰ look how i remember by @harryanthus​ | M | 4k (this left me speechless and aching)

He hates it, he wants to scream and tell Harry as much. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me as if we are in love. Kiss me like you will never do it again. Kiss me with so much hatred that it turns back to love.

✰ Things Unsaid by @londonfoginacup​ | G | 5k (so so cute and funny!!)

"That chunky oversized sweater is like a clown outfit made for winter."

It feels like time slows down.

Those words echo in his mind, familiar. Why are they familiar? The— the sweater he saw last week. The one with all the knit squares.

The train slows to a stop and Louis just— he doesn’t move. He feels frozen in place as people surge around him. Suddenly everyone is moving too fast and then just as suddenly the car is near empty, taking off again.

The man is gone.

His soulmate is gone.

✰ reckless serenade by @thepolourryexpress​ | E | 4k (adorable and funny and amazing!)

Harry's Google search history may or may not look like 'my girlfriend doesn't know we're dating.'

✰ dancing in the moonlight by @outropeace​ | E | 5k (need 100k more of this immediately, thanks. so wonderful)

Louis’ fuck buddy gets a date for Valentine’s day and he discovers that denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.

✰ The truth is, the stars are falling by larrysbeanies | E | 5k (hot!!! walking-in trope that i love so much)

Harry knows Louis is gay. Hell, he came out to Harry exactly two months ago (when the dreadful dry spell started) because it was becoming increasingly hard to hide the fact that his one night stands were men. And, you know, they’re best friends so there aren’t supposed to be secrets and all that.

Thing is, Louis told Harry he’s gay ergo, Harry is aware that Louis likes men. Why the fuck did he act so normal while fingering him three days ago, then? Is this something straight guys do to their gay best friends in Harry’s world?

Louis would really like to know.

✰ to be used and to be in love by @thelesserneptune​ | E | 5k (blessed that this is a series. really hot and cute!)

Louis doesn't know why his filthy best friend turned into a vanilla boyfriend and thinks of the perfect birthday present to solve that problem.

✰ on the borderline by @princelouisau​ | E | 8k (the way danielle writes... poetry. this broke me down and then stitched me back up <3)

Louis makes his choice.

✰ One Step Closer by agrinwithouthiscat | G | 12k (reading asexual hl fics is instant comfort and this was lovely)

The one fake relationship AU where they don't end up together.

✰ i glow pink in the night by @raspberryoatss​ | E | 12k (hybrid louis perfection, beautiful writing, characters, and story as always!)

Harry reads a lot of articles about hybrids and Louis is determined to prove them wrong.

✰ The Thinker of Tender Thoughts by @speakingwithink | G | 13k (asexual hl again! this one made me cry) 

Louis sits on his hands to stop them from shaking as he adds, ‘and I’m ace.’ If only he had glitter, he thinks. Coming out deserves a bit of sparkle.

✰ Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice by @harriblou​ | M | 13k (enemies with benefits to lovers goodness! so hot and entertaining)

“You’re a fucking brat, you know that,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, bones already burning with the pure desire and hatred mixing in his body. It was an intoxicating rush of adrenaline and something else that probably came with fucking Louis Tomlinson. He squeezed his neck just a little tighter. “I can’t stand it.”

Their lips were brushing against each other, just moving with the ragged movements of their mouths and harsh breathing.

“You’re a lying piece of shit dickhead,” Louis muttered right back. That was all he did, challenge and nag. He loved to have the last word and Harry let him because he used all his energy to fuck him mindless.

✰ hold onto your stars by vashtaneradas | NR | 16k (this writer’s atmosphere/prose draws me in every time. such a lovely story)

Harry's in the army, Louis' back home, and ninety days is a lifetime.

✰ The Future is Now by @jacaranda-bloom​ | E | 16k (love fics in this five times format and this one was so unique and cool!! and the friends to lovers aspect = chef’s kiss)

Five times Louis follows the fortunes to seek out his true love, and the one time he realises that what he's been searching for might've been right in front of him the whole time.

✰ Visceral Heat & Carnal Highs by @theisolatedlily​ | E | 18k (the prose in this... gorgeous. so fucking good and addicting. delighted that there’s going to be a sequel and excited for whatever lily does next!)

Louis is a demon at a house party prowling for a meal, indulging in horrendous sins to satisfy his hunger. Harry is the talk of the night, beckoning all eyes on him and the reason why Louis’s plan goes awry.

✰ deFENCEless by @solvetheminourdreams​ | T | 27k (this was so cute and so funny and i had the biggest smile on my face the entire time. not surprised since stef always evokes that in me with her writing)

When Louis butts heads with his new neighbor who loves to garden a little too much, all he can do to protect his yard (and heart), is keep on building up his fence(s).

✰ darling, you give love a bad name by snowcaplou | M | 29k (been waiting for this one since summer and i wasn’t disappointed! so wonderful and real!)

Louis’ has been best friends with Gemma all his life in this stupid little town he’s grown to hate. What happens when, after one night together with his best friend’s brother, he falls pregnant? Surrounded by small minds and conservative cultures, Louis has to deal with parents that demand they do the “right” thing. Get married before anybody finds out.

✰ The Haunting of Louis Tomlinson* by @helloamhere​ | T | 31k (will never not be an all-time favorite. louis’ character is my absolute favorite - gothic heroine indeed - and harry is the best dramatic gay ghost ever <3)

Louis is a plucky Gothic Heroine, Harry is a Mournful Spirit, and Big Country Houses are full of mystery and suspense, as Big Country Houses ever are!

✰ begged and borrowed time by @bottomlwt​ | M | 40k (this concept was so unique and so cool!! loved the medieval setting and the time travel and how everything fit together in the end!!)

“It wasn’t until 1568 that it became time for Prince Harry to find a queen and prepare to rule. However, the day he was set to choose his bride-to-be, he mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again despite the multiple search parties that went on through the years. To this day, historians still do not know what happened with the infamous Prince Styles case..."

✰ Lidocaine and Palm Trees.* by @daddyharrie​ | E | 45k (definition of ris comfort read - on nth reread and still love it wholly. makes me miss la which is an astonishing feat in itself) 

Heat, fake tans and lots of traffic.

Harry never expected to earn his living this way when he moved to LA.

Louis didn't think he could ever be the same after his divorce.

A lighthearted story about two guys trying to find themselves in the vibrant, sprawling city of Los Angeles, with a side of technical porn industry stuff.

✰ haunted by the ghost of you* by @missandrogyny​ | E | 49k (perhaps my favorite fic of all time? the humor, the characters, the angst?!?! all the britney spears!! and pink ouija boards and wikihow!!)

He’s tall—that’s the first thing that registers in Louis’ head when he spots him, standing with his hands behind his back. Tall, with curly hair, staring at them with the widest, greenest eyes Louis has ever seen. And wait, are those dimples? Louis didn’t know ghosts could have dimples.

Because he’s definitely a ghost, this boy. At first glance he looks normal, standing there pigeon-toed in a band shirt (The Ramones, Louis can’t help but note incredulously), dark jeans, and some boots, with rings on both hands, and tattoos littering his left arm—a sleeve made of anchors and names and roses and other completely unrelated things. But he’s also a little bit translucent; if Louis focuses, he can see the outline of the furniture, the design of the wallpaper through him.

“Hi,” the boy—the ghost—says to Louis. His face shifts; somehow his dimples dig deeper into his cheeks. His eyes flit from Louis, to Niall, to Liam, and finally to Zayn, and his face goes from shocked to elated. “I’m Harry.”

At in that exact moment, standing between three of his best friends and staring at a (quite handsome) ghost, Louis can only think one thing.

Nick Grimshaw was right.

✰ like real people do by @eeveelou​ | E | 64k (this was... so amazing. the characters were so wonderfully written and so was the journey of healing and growth that louis undertakes over the story :’) loved the contrast between l and h’s lives and how they fit into each other still so perfectly)

Jessica Jones AU in which the dead stay where they belong, featuring Zayn as the high-powered lawyer with a hopeless crush on his assistant Liam, Niall as the constantly stoned but strangely insightful neighbor, Harry as Manhattan’s media darling, and Louis as the never-was hero who’s just trying to pick up the pieces.

✰ Black With Autumn Rain by whimsicule | T | 93k (i actually can’t remember if i’ve read this before??? either way - it was wonderful! loved the setting and atmosphere and the supernatural elements! i was so intrigued from the first sentence onwards)

Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren’t exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

podfics ~

✰ tall stories on the page by @soldouthaz​ & read by @softlouislove​ | T (hannah’s voice is so lovely and perfect for reading aloud - and ofc the fic itself is amazing)

Harry's tired of being interviewed by people that only care about the same pointless gossip. Louis is a nice change of pace. 

wips ~

✰ Truth Behind Golden Eyes by @lwtisloved​ | E | 60k | 6/16 (just caught up fully today but i’m really enjoying everything! this is everything i’ve ever wanted in a fantasy fic)

Louis is a royal servant born with magic in a kingdom where his sole existence is outlawed with a war he has no idea he has a part in upon him. Harry is the prince on whom the burden of mending a broken kingdom falls upon and he might be willing to risk it all for a simple servant if only he admitted it to himself.

✰ ‘cause all our tomorrows lead the way by @loubellies​ | E | 39k | 3/10 (having a blast reading this one!! i’ve never seen the bachelor in my life but in fic-format, it’s so fun!)

So maybe Louis’ in over his head.

He had signed up for the Bachelor on a whim after his second bottle of wine and well, here he is. He’s just been announced as the twenty-sixth Bachelor and his ass is sweating. Like, literally sweating. He’s positive that if he was to turn around, the entirety of Bachelor Nation would get a nice peek of his ass sweat.

✰ The Night Still Whispers Sins of Old by @toomanydreamers​ | E | 6k | 2/? (loving this so much, as expected. can’t wait to see how everything unfolds)

Two and a half years have passed since the fateful day when Louis and Harry were crowned Triwizard champions. Confronted with misunderstandings, wounded pride and heartache, Louis stumbled away from the possibility of a future relationship with Harry. Instead, he buried himself into relentless work as a junior Auror and refused to let himself be vulnerable with another person. Circumstances change that force Louis to confront his feelings - and Harry. Stolen glances, picnics at sunrise, thrilling adventures, original spellwork, midnight feasts, soft lips and cautious second chances culminate in an unforgettable mission - but will it be enough to mend their relationship?

non-1d ~

✰ like a bullet needs a gun by @millsxwriting​ | T | 21k | wilds au (despite me having no context, mills still got me to fall in love with toni and shelby. this was so cute and lovely!!)

Toni doesn’t expect to fall for anyone in her senior year. Least of all for Shelby Goodkind, the new girl that arrived in town just before the end of summer. In fact, Toni can’t even look at her for longer than two seconds, or listen to more than three sentences coming out of her mouth without wanting to accidentally push her off a cliff. 

Cue a group project and endless bickering, and suddenly Toni finds herself with an unbearable crush.

If you read any of these beautiful works of art, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

*if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

[ggukkieland]

📕BTS Fic Reads - 2020 August

Okay so I’m such a hoe for fics that I probably have about a hundred on queue but I can’t help appreciate all the works that these awesome writers put here on Tumblr and AO3. 

Here’s my attempt to organize my readings - though if my mood fluctuates, I’d just end up going through my reblogged fics for reading or sorting through my watchlist of ongoing/incomplete fics/series

✅ -  done reading   | S (smut) F (fluff) A (angst)

🥕[Ongoing Series - to check weekly]🥕

Dangerous Pairing @nightowls388 - KNJ |  supernatural  au, fantasy au, forbidden romance

[2/?] “Whether you’re a vampire or werewolf, love is still love. Betrayal is still betrayal.”    

Queen Cobra @fantasybangtan - KTH | mafia au, undercover au, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, thriller, s, f,a

[8/?]  when your boss offers the chance to take down the nation’s most lucrative gang from the inside out, you know you’ll do it no matter what the cost… even if that means entering an arranged marriage with the kingpin himself.

Arranged by obiwrites (AO3) - JHS | arranged marriage, unrequited love, angst, pining, jhs in love with someone else

[19/?] If you thought entering an arranged marriage with the person you love would be a dream, you were in for a rude awakening. Jung Hoseok was far from the doting husband you’d dreamed of and most of it could be chalked up to the fact that he was in love with his best friend. And you are without a shadow of a doubt, not her.

Image, Bad Boy @kittentaegu​ - JJK | badboy, fwb, angst, smut, more angstttt (I binge-read on this for the angst), adorable JJK when he’s not an fboi

[14/?] I chose to read this on AO3. Incomplete, but Ch 14 had such a satisfying ending -  When by chance you walk in on the school’s infamous bad boy, not once, but two different times in one day; your life quickly spirals out of control.

I’ll Sue You, Min Yoongi by hosexi (AO3) - MYG |  neighbors, enemies to lovers, angst, smut, lawyer!reader

[9/10] Yoongi is the neighbor from hell

Whiskey Neat and Whisking Trips by lacielre (AO3) - KTH | comedy, fake dating au, baker!reader, veterinarian!taehyung, funny 😂🤣, ex!Jin

[2/4]  This is a story about the night you poured your heart out to your ex outside his apartment building as a stranger yelled at you to “shut the fuck up,” and that stranger, who was just as wounded as you, was Taehyung, and he needed your help.

His Side, Her Side @scriptaed - JJK | he said, she said, f, a

[11/?] a collective snapshots in time shared between two, whose fates were undeniably intertwined and futures would never come to be  - one last chapter before series ends 😥

Black Swan @softlyjiminie - PJM | professional dancer, enemies to lovers, fake dating, figure skating, s, f, a

[2/?] a life of skating was all you’d ever known, your heart craving the feeling of ice beneath your feet and the light brush of cool air against your skin under thousands of sparkling lights… what a shame, if only you’d known that one night, one accident could rip you from the life you’d grown to love, leaving your career in the unsteady hands of the prince of ballet, park jimin.

The Key to my Drawer @jjungkookislife - KTH | bestfriends to lovers, s, a

[10/?]  A key, a drawer, and a secret Taehyung planned to take to the grave

The Nanny @jjungkookislife - KSJ| lawyer!seokjin, nanny!reader, single dad au

[2/?] Jin hires a nanny for his son, but when he hires you, he gets that and so much more

Acatalepsy @1kook - JJK |   survival au, apocalypse au, s, f

[2/?] Jungkook didn’t understand, and the longer he ponders it, he realizes maybe he never will. Some things are just better left unknown, he supposes. But that didn’t mean one had to face them alone. 

Aphrodite in War @jungblue - JJK | angst, exes au, fake dating au, roommates, sorority/frat wars, college au *this is really good 😍😍*

[2/?] Everyone knew about the war that had been brewing on the edge of campus for the past two years. Sorority versus Fraternity; a showdown for the ages. However, when the escalating antics between them yields the consequence of possible suspensions for both chapters, the presidents of each house must come together to try and figure out how to end this battle… Which is kind of hard, considering they were the ones responsible for it in the first place.

Palate Cleanser @btsmakesmehappy - KTH | agent au, fwb, strangers to lovers, s, f, a

[5/?] Part of The Company series -  Taehyung needs something to take his mind off his broken heart. His best friend, Jimin, suggests that he should meet another woman and the first woman he met was you. Would you help him even though you have your own problem, that you hate men?

Bad Guy @taehoneys - JJK | college au, fratboy au, badboy, good girl(?), 

[3/?] chose to read this on AO3 A certain video circulates the school after your big mistake and you never do mistakes, but you did this time…a big one: J e o n J u n g k o o k

Good Girl Series:  Good Girl || Sweet Girl || Smart Girl || Brave Girl  @bonny-kookoo - JJK |  good girl au, bad boy au, roommates, established relationship, s, f, a

[5/?]  Jeon Jungkook was known to have a specific type when it came to his partners; tall, gorgeous, dominant and older. When a new girl answers to his ad online searching for a roommate, he didn’t quite expect such an innocent being to turn up at his doorstep And what he definitely didn’t expect was his growing interest in her and the feeling of having her under him, all submissive and ready to be ruined. 

Agent of Love @ppersonna - JJK |  social media au, agent au, s, f, a

[1/?] as the FBI agent assigned to your phone, Jungkook keeps a diligent watch. he takes a special interest when you try your hand in online dating AND online sexting. desperate to keep you from bombing yet another potential date, Jungkook breaks his vow of silence to assist you in your plight to get laid.

Irregular Heartbeat @ppersonnakookies - MYG | social media au, surgeon!yoongi, intern!reader, 

[5/?] hot girl meets hot guy at a bar, lets him buy her a drink, then hooks up with him in the bathroom without even asking for his name. your typical friday night cliché. except for the fact that you’re a virgin, and the guy you drunkenly lose your v-card to is your superior at your new job.

Somewhere Only We Know @userseok - JJK | hybrid au, pining, angst, fantasy, smut

Prequel SOWK 1 SOWK 2 [being revised by author] Epilogue [to be posted]

you’ve been chasing after jungkook for years. after a harsh verbal altercation between both of you, you decide to leave him alone and pursue a relationship with someone who seems genuinely interested in you, thinking he would never return your feelings.

Elysee @ironicarmy - KSJ |  angst, drama, CEO!Seokjin, personal assistant

[1/?] Being the CEO of Korea’s largest fashion house is no easy feat. But to be the person behind the man, that being his assistant, is an even harder spot to maintain. In a company filled with affairs, bribery, deceit, lies and blackmail, you must struggle to survive and, eventually, climb your way to the top of the food chain. Seokjin, your boss, trusts you more than anyone, but when exactly does the line between friendly camaraderie blur with carnal desire? 

Beautiful Deception @jiminwreckedme​ - MYG? | mystery, thriller, ex!yoongi, angst, smut

[3/5] When your ex-boyfriend’s wife goes missing, you are the only one who can help him find her. But in a world where everyone is a friend and everyone is a culprit,  how will you find out what happened to the woman he loves?  Without falling for him all over again?

🥕[Completed AUs/Series/Drabbles -  to read]🥕

One Thing Right @hobios - JJK | fake marriage au, childhood friends, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, slow burn, smut

01  02  03  04  05  06  07  08  09  ✅ (done, read it twice - this is just perfect ⭐ holy grail status)

Carousel @yoonia - MYG | mafia au, arranged marriage, heirs, CEO!Yoongi, suspense

Index: 16 Chapters & Epilogue | Drabbles and short stories |  Playlist |  Fan Edits

*a re-read this holy grail of a fic 🥰

Risk It @kookiesjoonies - JJK | social media au, exes to lovers, angst, smut ✅

Driving Me Wild @joonkookiemonster - JJK | demon prince!JJK, roommate au, comedy, fluff   ✅ (done reading, this is really cuuute 🥰)

Redefining Destiny @threeletterislife - JJK |  soulmates, enemies to lovers, mafia, fluff, crack, angst

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 (*have to read Yoongi’s story first*)

Rattled @gukslut - JJK | single dad au, angst, pining, enemies to lovers, neighbors, smut 

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three  Chapter Four   Chapter Five  Chapter Six  Chapter Seven  Chapter Eight Epilogue ✅(done)

*was reading this when it was ongoing, but stopped at Ch 5 (angst was too much for my heart 😢) - thrilled to binge-read this from the start 😍

Guarded @xjoonchildx - JHS | mafia au, enemies to lovers, slow burn, tsundere, smut

01 02 03 04 05 06 Epilogue  ✅

Never Falling @yoonia - PJM |  Enemies to Lovers!au, Singer!Jimin, non-idol!au, Assistant!reader, Smut, Angst, slow burn ✅(done)

Spellbound @minflix - PJM |  witches au (sort of based on the secret circle),  smut, comedy, fluff, light angst, enemies to lovers

Lie @yoon-kooks - PJM | angst, fluff, based on movie “Flipped”

0 // 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12 // 13 // 14 // 15 // 16 // 17 // FINAL

On the Sidewalk of Champ Elysees @taeramisu = KTH | journalist!KTH, exes to lovers, smut, angst, paris, slow burn

Little Monsters @yoon-bug - MYG | established relationship, unplanned pregnancy, s, f  ✅

Take One @taetaewonderland - MYG | pornstar!yoongi, fanfictionwriter, strangers to lovers, s, f ✅

The Habits of a Broken Heart @softykooky - JJK |  soulmates au, unrequited love, art student!JK, english student!Y/N, angst, fluff, subtle enemies to lovers  ✅(done)

Into the Wilderness @gukyi - PJM | camp counselor au, unrequited love, friends to lovers

Oops @honeyj00ns - JJK | love at first hear, comedy, fluff, smut, “ You don’t know who the wonderful voice singing in the shower is, but you need to know”  ✅

A Song Request @n8dlesoupguk - JJK | drabble, romance,  where you always listen to the same radio station and he lives in the apartment complex opposite of yours ✅

Oh My God, They Were (Quarantined) Roommates @ot7always - JJK | roommates, quarantined life, college, smut, fluff ✅

Your Favorite Cardigan in Summer Nights @prodkkyu - JJK | one shot, angst, high school sweethearts, exes au, summer fling  ✅

Crimson Park @heartbeatan - JJK |  mafia, boss!reader, mystery, angst

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 (Final) ✅

Pranks @mysecretatticsstuff - JJK | enemies to lovers, prank wars, angst, smut, fluff ✅

Too Long, Didn’t Read @fortunexkookie - KTH | college, writers, enemies to lovers, fluff ✅ (done reading, love love this)

You’ve Got Mail @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong - JJK |  Barista!Reader, Graphic Design Student!Jungkook, angst, ex-lovers, enemies to lovers  ✅ (done reading, love this)

Love at First Oink @glodenclosetau- KTH | social media au, neighbors, friends to lovers, piggies 🐽, romance, fluff, comedy ✅ (done - the cutest smau ever)

Sugar @seokjxnnie​ - MYG | ceo!yoongi, escort!reader, personal assistant, smut ✅

Amor Vincit Omnia @sunshyngal - MYG | Mafia au, arranged marriage, angst, violence, drama

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20  ✅

My Euphoria @beyochu​ - JJK | fake dating au, fluff, ceo!jungkook, florist!reader, romance  ✅ (done, really adorable)

All Aboard @ve1vetyoongi​ - KNJ | smut, officeworker!namjoon, enemies to lovers  ✅

[waywardmartian]

Doing part of a prompt list to keep in practice. And because it is technically more a fic prompt, short fic

I like how this one turned out.

Cooking Together ( So I guess this is three days before the Hallowe'en prompt. )

Galatea had spent nearly a hundred and fifty years doing domestic tasks and general assistance for an evil wizard. A hundred and fifty years of practice had made gid a good cook despite not being able to eat or taste anything.

Soon after Awakening, ge had gids confidence in gids skills shattered, but over the years ge gained some of it back. The innkeeper at the tavern in the Iron Village - Bethel - was one of the few organics Galatea trusted enough to cook for. Ge and Bethel had bonded over cooking and recipe exchanges. When Bethel twisted her ankle three days before Moritalia's Night, she asked if Galatea could bake the sweets that she had intended to bake if she gave Galatea the ingredients that she had already procured. Galatea's desire to help this organic who had been kind to gid won out over gids fear of failure.

There was a kitchen in the tower - it had been built for an organic, after all. It had basic cookware in it but Galatea had to borrow a few other specialised tools from Bethel. The Iron King helped carry all the materials in and set the box on the counter.

"I can help. I'm a very good helper," said Akari, dangling down from the ceiling as a spider.

"Akari will try to eat all the ingredients," said Galatea, setting out the ingredients and tools to get an idea of what to do first. "Akari will stay out of the kitchen."

The small demon grumbled but couldn't go against a direct order and skulked away. However, she remained just outside the doorway, just in case.

"I can help," offered the Iron King.

Three days, start with the foods that will keep the longest. Cookies, perhaps, or confectioneries ... "The Iron King can cook?"

"I did for Moxon. Nothing this fancy."

Galatea nearly dropped the butter crock. "This unit is a fool. No, this unit will work alone, ge will not have the Iron King do what his master made him do."

The Iron King took the crock from gid and set it safely on the counter. "I don't want to spend my life needing to avoid everything that reminds me of Moxon - I killed him so he wouldn't have power over me. If I do this by choice, for someone I care about, I might make new memories to make the old ones hurt less."

"Does that work?"

He shrugged. "I don't feel bad when I'm cleaning the workshop because I do that for me. I still don't like laundry, though. What needs to be done so you can start putting things together?"

Galatea gave the Iron King a dubious look but he seemed set on doing this. "If the Iron King finds the memories are bad, he will stop?"

"I promise that I will stop if I feel bad."

Galatea nodded, satisfied. "Set a pot of water to boil, measure out half a kilogram of almonds, boil them for one minute, drain them, rinse them in cold water, drain them, then use a cheesecloth to rub the skins off."

The Iron King set about doing that. Galatea returned gids attention to other preparations. Divide up the butter to know how much is available for cookies, for pastries, for confections. Thirty-two villagers, three batches of cookies minimum, set out those ingredients to get an idea of what will require the most time and attention ... Galatea found gids focus pulled pleasantly to organisation and measuring.

Ge had started mixing the first batch when the Iron King tapped gid on the shoulder. "The almonds are done. Now what?"

Galatea looked over the Iron King's work, though ge didn't need to - he had performed the task correctly. "The oven is heated. Put the almonds on a tray in a single layer and put them in the oven until dry." The Iron King had fire spells but lacked the fine control over his magic needed to dry the almonds without burning them.

"Give the skins to Akari," suggested Akari.

Galatea gathered up the shed almond skins as ge talked: "Pay attention to the almonds - they need to be dry, not toasted. The scent will change when they start to toast." Utterly colourblind, unable to tell light from dark, the Iron King needed a non-visual cue. "When they are dry, slice them thinly lengthwise." A small plate with the cast-off skins was set outside the door and immediately set upon by gids familiar.

The Iron King set to work arranging the almonds. "Cutting them will take a long time, and I don't get tired and don't need to worry about slicing my fingers. How does Bethel do it all?"

Galatea paused. "Bethel does not. The sliced almonds are for something this unit used to make for gids Master."

"And there were several of you," said the Iron King, who never really understood the servitor gestalt but at least he made an effort. "That would have sped things up. How did you know which one of you should do which task?"

Galatea found another tray and set about dropping spoonfuls of cookie dough on it. "Whichever servitor-unit was most suited to the task would do it."

"And you just ... knew?"

"How do the Iron King's hands know that the right one is for holding the sword and the left one is for holding the shield?"

"I'm right-handed. Servitors weren't a hivemind." The Iron King hunkered down in front of the oven to more easily waft the scent towards himself. "Did you talk to each other to divide up the tasks or swap memories around before working together so you'd all have the same plan?"

"Neither. The servitor-units knew what we were for. As long as all knew the task, we would know which part was ours."

"Which was your task?"

"It depended on which other servitor-units were there. This unit was most suited for measuring and timing and any task that required small hands but did not require fast reflexes. But this unit could do most cooking tasks." As long as everything was low enough to be reached. The Galatea-shell had been a head shorter than the others.

The Iron King rescued the almonds from the oven, possibly a little earlier than Galatea would have, but dry enough to hold to slice and that was what mattered. Galatea put the tray of cookies in its place and set about mixing up the next batch.

It was so different with the Iron King, Galatea thought. It lacked the coordination of the servitor gestalt - ge would never need to give instructions or have to wait to use the oven with them, they all knew how long things would take, they knew where they had to be and when.

Ge missed the other servitors every day. One might grow used to missing an arm and even prefer a prosthetic, but the arm could never grow used to missing the rest of its body.

But, watching the Iron King hold an almond between heavy, deadly claws like the finest precision pliers and slice it with the concentration and delicacy of a watchmaker, this could be a new memory to make the old ones hurt less.

[nat-20s]

MEDIA THAT I RECOMMEND YOU CONSUME INSTEAD OF SUPERNATURAL FOR BOTH HEART AND HEALTH BROKEN DOWN BY TYPE OF MEDIA AND WHY YOU MIGHT LIKE IT IF AT ANY POINT YOU, LIKE MY POOR POOR SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SELF, WERE INVESTED IN THIS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE FIRE OF A SHOW

with apologies to anyone on mobile who’s readmore function APPARENTLY doesn’t work

(I haven’t watched supernatural for at least five years and, given any sort of luck, I will never do so again, do not @ me)

hello babes. I am talking to you know bc I keep seeing supernatural, unironically, on my dash, and I think we can all do better. I see what’s happening and I think: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3i_o5Xd4g

Supernatural is fudge stripes. You are Megan. We can fix this.

So a list of alternate things that I think are overall better written/characterized/just generally more enjoyable that might scratch some of those itches:

TV SHOWS

Good Omens

okay look if u were on tumblr last year u probably already watched this show but like. If u haven’t, it’s only six episodes babe and there’s a large enough fandom that u can go down a fanart hole for days on end

Basic summary: the antichrist has reached that lovely young age where he’s supposed to bring about the apocalypse. An angel and a demon who have decided that actually they like the world as is, thank you very much, try to stop the end times. They’re not very good at it though, which makes for a comedy of errors.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: theologic (mostly christian) exploration/parody/imagery without inherently being a religious show. Fighting off the apocalypse narrative, which I think pretty much always goes hard as hell, but that’s just me. There’s a gay angel who’s socially awkward. There’s a fun very British demon. Touches on the hierarchies of heaven and hell, with framing Heaven as a bureaucracy and blurs the differences between angels and demons.  Pining. Tenderness. A deep nostalgia for 80s music, though in this case it’s specifically queen, and who doesn’t love queen. Main character has a weirdly strong bond with his black vintage car.  Satan is (sort of) fought.

~~

Gravity Falls

sometimes...things that are kids shows...with a set story and a predetermined ending...are better

(also this isn’t relevant to any of what I’m talking about but I really appreciate that Gravity Falls specifically went against the thing that most begged me about ATLA aka that a 15 year old girl would be like yeah I’m into a 12 year old boy because the 12 year old boy has a crush on me and I apparently don’t get to really have a say in this. How does that make sense.)

Basic Summary: Twelve year old twins Dipper and Mabel go to stay with their Grunkle Stan for the summer in a small Oregon town called Gravity Falls. Turns out this town is filled with all sorts of strange phenomena that they often have to confront, work around, learn about, or befriend!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: The core focus of the show is a close sibling duo, but like It’s obvious that the siblings actually like and love each other and while they have their spats it’s still incredibly clear that they deeply care about each other even with their differences LIKE SORRY SUPERNATURAL YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME THAT SIBLINGS CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEN THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME FIGHTING AND LYING TO EACH OTHER AND GENERALLY ACTING LIKE THEY CAN’T STAND EACH OTHER’S COMPANY BUT THEN OOOHHH YOU CRY ON TOP OF THE HOOD OF A CAR EVERY THREE EPISODE AND SUDDENLY THEY’RE SOULMATES OR WHATEVER

Anyway. Yeah. GF has a solid sibling dynamic. Monster of the week that builds up to greater over-arching plot. A little bit of body horror, you know, for humor. Fair amount of meta humor playing with the tropes of the genre. A Good Ol Big Bad that tries to pit the siblings against each other. Have to fight the apocalypse (you’ll see this point on like a good half of these recs, I really like ‘what are we gonna do about Armageddon’ media). Interesting creature design. Planned, satisfying ending (which supernatural absolutely does not have, but I still think if it had ended with the season 5 finale like it uhh  pretty obviously was supposed to, that would sort of counted. Don’t revive shows that have clearly already told their stories kids.) Tie in media that gives you some fun extra stories when you miss the characters. (yes I read some of the supernatural novels when I was a c h i l d, yes I’m pretty sure there’s one or two of them still buried somewhere on my laptop, no I don’t wanna talk about it.) Older father figure (?) who owns a tbh kind of shitty shop. Both already in place and found family.

It’s a good show, and it’s two seasons. John Mulaney Voice: I dunno it’s 40 episodes

MINI REC ALERT! (mini recs are basically things that I’m not gonna go into detail about for whatever reason [probably either due to i’m not familiar enough with it OR I just don’t like. Have a bunch to say about it in regards to how it will scratch the itches presented to u by spn] but still seem like a Good Watch)

Mini Rec: Over The Garden Wall. Spooky Kids Media! Episodic! Miniseries so you can watch it in like 2 hours! Cool ass Animation! About two brothers encountering said spooky stuff! Big Bad tries to pit brothers against each other! Might haunt you for the rest of your life! Check it out!

~~

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I think about this show every goddamn day of my life. (Also not relevant but Greg Sestero makes a brief cameo in it and I was like hi greg my friend greg!)

Basic Summary: An girl named Dani, while staying in London, decides to take on an Au Pair job for two young children, an older brother named Miles (age 10) and the younger sister Flora (age 8) at the spoooooky and mysteeerious Bly Manor, and she gets far more than she bargained for.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Okay so supernatural doesn’t actually do this but I know I KNOW why we let ourselves be queerbaited in 2012. Four words for you: CENTRAL! GAY! TRAGIC! ROMANCE! You want some pining? Some tenderness? Some LOVE? Some dealing with internalized homophobia but no, like, actual violent onscreen homophobia? HAVE I GOT THE SHOW FOR YOU. If ur favorite episodes where the ones that make you sob (for me it was kevin’s death on god), I recommend this show. If you wished that supernatural literally ever had consequences or perma deaths or didn’t retcon major plot events like every five goddamn episodes so that there could be some exploration of like grief and trauma through the lens of/ higher stakes of horror, I recommend this show. If you really do stay up at night picturing a supernatural that wasn’t made by dumbass cishettie white men hack writers but was actually allowed to have Dean and Cas be in love over the course of the show so they could have like actual development and not the most homophobic gay reveal of all time, I recommend this show. Hell, if you just want a banger ghost story in general, I recommend this show.

As for what they actually have in common: horror setting/aesthetic without actually being all that scary most of the time. A strong sibling duo, though they’re not nearly as much of the focus of Bly Manor. Found family. Strong themes of grief. Questions of what turns someone into a monster (and done much better) An actual, much better noble sacrifice done out of love. Escalation of stakes until there’s a big final confrontation. Semi-big bad trying to tear this family apart. Found and pre-installed family. Sad orphans.

Watch this show. Vibe with me. Cry with me. Yell at me about Owen Sharma

MINI REC ALERT!

Haunting of Hill House- spiritual predecessor to Haunting of Bly Manor, though they’re not actually the same universe/story. However, it’s made by the same dude and has a shared aesthetic/sensibilities/some of the cast. This is only a mini rec bc I haven’t actually seen it, but I’ve heard good things and that it, while much more heavily leaning into family dynamics, has similar themes of exploring Grief and Trauma through ghooossstttsss.

~~

Community

Okay I know that this may seem like a Wild rec considering community is a school sitcom with basically Zero paranormal elements but just like. Hear me out. And no this isn’t just because I think it’s a realy good show and I want more people to watch it, though that is a factor. If I was just recommending comedies that I think are good and more people should watch regardless of them serving as a replacement for supernatural I would demand you all go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I’m gonna demand it anyway. Everyone go watch Galavant and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Now back to your original program:

Basic Summary: A group of students at Greendale Community College form a Spanish study group, and things quickly go Off The Fucking Rails in the best way possible.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: All right I’m gonna be real honest this rec is for all of my (correct) bitches who’s favorite episodes of Supernatural were French Mistake, Changing Channels, and/or Mystery Spot. You think if Supernatural would’ve been fucking fantastic if it had been a committed comedy instead of a CW melodrama that occasionally landed some admittedly really fucking funny episodes/concepts, Community (and the movies on this list) will gently take you into its loving arms and give you everything you desire. It’s about the Meta comedy. It’s about the discussion, exploration, and subversion of common tropes within the format. It’s about the grand use of group/ found family dynamics in order to max both the goofs and the heart. It’s about fantastic callbacks. It’s about having one of the few “asshole with a heart of gold” leads I can actually stand because. You know. Growth. It’s about the INCREDIBLE genre and  pop culture parody. Which genre do they parody, you ask. All of them. They parody all the genres. The glee parody episode is a fucking masterpiece of television. If you don’t want to watch a show that features a Halloween party where everyone turns into zombies and the ABBA discography blasts in the background, you can stop reading right now, because I can guarantee you won’t be interested in a damn thing I have to say.

MINI REC ALERT: The X-Files. I’ve also never seen this but a: everything I’ve seen out of context has been fantastically weird and delightful b: it appears that there’s a general consensus that Scully and Mulder are one of the only valid straight couples so it’s probably pretty fun and c: let’s all be honest. Supernatural was already basically an x-files rip off, it had like half of their original writers swiped from the x-files crew, I’m pretty sure if you liked especially the first couple of seasons of supernatural, you’re gonna like the X-files.

~~

Subcategory: TV SHOWS ( A WHOLE TWO OF ‘EM, OR MORE LIKE ONE AND HALF IF YOU WANNA GET TECHNICAL) I’M SPECIFICALLY RECOMMENDING FOR THAT COCAINE HIT OF PURE UNADULTERATED UNCUT 2012 TUMBLR NOSTALGIA

BBC Merlin

Yes, I know the show ended in 2010. Yes, it still provides that 2012 Tumblr nostalgia. 2012 Tumblr is a feeling, not an actual time period.

I love this stupid show. I plan on rewatching it all over the month of January. I harbor a deep amount of fondness for it. It’s why every time I see literally any depiction of Merlin I get just so fucking excited, and why I’ve consumed as many ridiculous Arthurian adaptations as I have (side note: my two favorite other ridiculous Arthurian legend adaptation are Avalon High, a DEEPLY silly DCOM that is required viewing to level up friendship with me, and The Kid Who Would Be King, which is the only movie that I think truly understands the comedic potential of playing a King Arthur Adaptation mostly straight but everyone in it is 12. I’m not sure it intended to be as fucking funny as it was, but again, they’re all middle schoolers. I have never been more jealous of an actor than I was of the 22 year old that got to play a 16 year old dumbass Merlin who was sometimes also Patrick Stewart and did all of his magic with ridiculous hand gestures That should’ve been me that should’ve been me that should’ve been me. Also Sword in the Stone by TH White is pretty good, because Merlin knows germ theory in the fantasy 400’s and he just uses it to be petty mostly. Also listen to High Noon Over Camelot by The Mechanisms. Also Also I tend to prefer family friendly adaptations because they don’t have the uhhh. You know. Incest and sexual violence of the original legend. Love to Not have that shit!) Whether you watched it initially and are due for a rewatch, or you’re intrigued enough by the concept of the show to watch it for the first time, you should join me on this wild wild ride.

Basic Summary: You know who Guinevere, Arthur, and Merlin are, come on. BBC said let’s make em all YOUNG let’s make em SEXY let’s make em FAMILY FRIENDLY and let’s make magic REALLY SEEM LIKE A THINLY VEILED ALLEGORY FOR BEING GAY BUT TO THIS DAY IM NOT SURE IF THAT WAS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT WAS. @ THE BBC MERLIN CREATORS WHAT IS THE TRUTH BECAUSE THERE WAS SOME INTERVI-

Basic Summary but like a bit more helpful: A BABY version of Merlin (and by baby I mean like 20 year old.) is sent from his small town to the big city the Kingdom of Camelot to find his destiny. Staying with the town physician and friend of his mom’s, Gaius, he ends up as both his assistant and personal manservant to Prince Arthur. But in a kingdom where magic is punished with death and the prince seems hell bent on getting himself into situations that are going to kill him, the young sorcerer has his more than his share of work cut out for him.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Primo supremo queerbaiting. Like, yeah, okay, it’s queerbaiting, you know it’s queerbaiting, but you watch some of the scenes and ur like okay. I know why I let this bait me. Obviously with a modern show, I would expect more, I would expect better, I would raise my standards, but I gotta admit. Some of these scenes are fuckin compelling as hell, and the subtext is like barely sub. Monster of the week shenanigans. Some awful CGI creatures but like a charming awful. Like the kind of awful that tells you their very limited budget was more focused on cool swords than realistic creatures. Episodic stories build into a more overarching plot, with things getting darker in season 4/5. Shitty father that end up eating shit and while the son of said father is rightfully conflicted and upset over the death it’s cathartic and victorious as all hell for the audience. Multiple hot evil women, and I love hot evil women. There’s also nice hot women, which is a bonus. These women don’t all immediately stupidly die, so that’s a nice change. Also like a LOT of sarcastic humor and shenanigans if u like Sass Merlin is there for u personally name a more iconic line than “Oh I’m sorry, how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” AND THAT’S IN THE FIRST FUCKIN EPISODE brilliant amazing fantastic show stopping. Also you know those like dumb hijink episodes where like Dean was possessed by the spirit of a dog or some shit? You bet your bottom fuckin dollar BBC Merlin has those kinds of storylines. Also I know some people go to spn bc it had that HUGE fanbase and like BBC Merlin’s fanbase is still SURPRISINGLY poppin even though it’s been a decade since there was new content so like. Have fun!

~~

Doctor Who but Specifically the RTD Era

Look I’m not here to say that the first four seasons of reboot doctor who are the only good doctor who or inherently better than all the rest (though the RTD era is my favorite personally) BUT when ur seekin that sweet sweet superwholock frenzy nostalgia, this is the ‘who’ that is being referred to. Also like. Stan 9. We should all collectively stan the ninth doctor. Chris Eccleston, the Objectively Best Famous Chris, deserved better.

Basic Summary: An immortal alien that goes by “The Doctor” travels across time and space with a variety of different companions, often to try and save the day or fix a (sometimes self created) mess. It’s distilled campy sci-fi with a family friendly tone that has made me cry on several occasions.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Monster of the week that, you guessed it, builds into bigger overarching plot style narrative. Fighting off the apocalypse, but like every couple of weeks because worlds are in danger a LOT. A semi-tragic romance that made people go absolutely buck fuckin wild bc pining n shit. Wamen, but they aren’t fridged. (actually for real though none of the main women die and I just think that’s really fun and flirty even though I could go on a COMPLETELY SEPARATE rant about the injustice of one of the character’s ending YES season 4 is my favorite season and one of my favorite pieces of media ever and I am currently actively recommending it to you  YES im still fucking pissed over how it ended YES we exist) Specifically, a Wonderful and Very Excellent woman named Donna who goes on a spa trip that doesn’t end up going very well. That seems like a highly specific example, and it is, but it did happen in both shows. (Also, to anyone that continued watching SPN after like idk season 9 what happened to Donna? I always liked her and I know she became a recurring character so like DM whatever probably injustice was the end of her story line pls and thank you) I’m also extra specifically recommending for Supernatural Fans and also The World At Large:  Season Four of Reboot Who. I rewatched it last year and it still goes so fucking hard. Donna Noble is the best character in existence. In regards to the appeal for SPN, personally I think the best part of SPN was when people who are soulmates went on adventures and tried to save the day and it was a good mix of banter and sincerity AND GUESS WHAT’S BASICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 4 OF DOCTOR WHO. It’s so good y’all I wish Everything was about soulmates going on adventures and trying to save the day.

OKAY TV SHOWS DONE TIME FOR M O V I E S which I don’t have nearly as many recs for but uhh here goes

What We Do In The Shadows/ Shaun of the Dead

I’m lumping these two together bc my reasons for recommending them are largely the same, and I would call them tonally similar enough that if you like one you’ll probably like the other

Basic Summary (Shaun of The Dead): Uh-oh! London’s had a break out of some of that good ol’ zombieism. Shaun and friends decide to hunker down in a local bar, but they have to get there first. Will they survive? Will they fuck up some zom zoms? Who’s to say?

Basic Summary (What We Do In The Shadows): Some vampire roommates dick around. I think there’s technically, like, a plot, but it’s really just about some vampires Doin Their Thing. Vibin.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: This is kind of similar to the Community recommendation, in that supernatural had the opportunity to be one of those things that was both a parody of a genre but also just a really good example of the genre. WWDITS and SotD are both those things for vampire and zombly movies, respectively. Have the aesthetic and some of the themes of a horror but is not actually all that scary. Horror Comedy is a god tier genre and I don’t know why it’s not more widespread. Fun monsters/cast of characters in general, so at least one person in it is probably going to make you go “oh gender” ya know? With SotD you have the fantasy power trip that comes with like any piece of media that involves hunting monsters. With WWDITS I go “yep that’s how bisexuals dress” and I Will Not Clarify which character I’m talking about.

MINI REC ALERT: All of Taika Watiti’s filmography. Thor:Ragnarok is one of like 3 marvel movies that I consider genuinely fucking fantastic completely independent of the MCU and my own tendency to be like “hurr bdurr I love. Superheros”. For the one that is most tonally like Supernatural But Significantly Better and Written By Someone Competent I think I would say try out Hunt For The Wilderpeople. It’s got a reluctant curmudgeonly father figure and I KNOW some of you motherfuckers were so invested in spn when you were like 16 bc you had daddy issues. This is a callout post for my friend [REDACTED], who I should text to watch Hunt for the Wilderpeople, actually.  

MINI REC ALERT X2!!!: Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I’ve never seen it but it has both Winona Ryder AND Keanu Reaves so like. Goth bi rights.

~~

Happy Death Day (and Happy Death Day 2 U)

happy death day was one of those movies that I saw the trailer, went “eh”, heard other people say it was great, watched, and went holy fuck this slaps. Not nearly as much of a slasher film as the trailers implied if im remembering the trailer correctly

Basic Summary: Our main character Tree keeps waking up on the day she was murdered. The day resets every time that she dies. That’s right, it’s a time loop storey babey!!!!!!!!!!!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: If you were anything like me you were foolishly lulled into supernatural for way longer than you should’ve been on the promise that the characters would idk like grow and change and become better and learn lessons and some of that would be through the power of receiving love and kindness. You know. Like how good writers would do it especially if their main characters are kind of dicks that really should make some changes. Well, Happy Death Day fucking delivers on that promise in SPADES. It’s about growth! It’s about change! It’s about making the active decision to become a better person and putting effort into doing so! There’s heavy themes of like grief and trauma and acknowledging them and facing them head on in order to move on and the negative consequences of refusing to do so and just trying avoid it until it goes away. There’s a romance that makes my dumb little self do the pleading face emoji. Tree is also one of the only good asshole with a heart of gold characters. I also think media is improved by having at least one character that is a Good Good Boy (note: Good Good Boy character does not have to be a man.) and Happy Death Day has Carter. Oh on that note: Tree Voice: I’ve only had character for (the same repeating over and over) a day but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone here and then myself. Also the movie is funny so like hell yeah.

that’s all I got for relevant movies right now

BOOK RECS

jk i’m illiterate. Everyone should feel free to go ahead and add their own suggestions for this section The best I can do is uhhhh I think y’all would probably like Mira Grant’s novels, particularly the Newsflesh stories, bc sibling dynamics. Also the book The Haunting of Hill House is really good. Ballad of Black Tom slaps? There’s of course the Good Omens novel that the show was based on. I’m about to recommend some podcasts after this section which will include to Welcome to Nightvale because of course it will and the tie in novels for that slap, especially It Devours!, and I’m pretty sure they work as stories even if you know nothing about the podcast. Also also I think you should read “The Long Way to A Small, Angry Planet” by Becky Chambers It’s not thematically similar to supernatural at all but it’s one of my all time favorite sci fi novels and only like four people have read it which is a goddamn TRAVESTY.

Anyway yeah that’s it that’s all there is. Onto the medium that is like books but I can fold laundry or cook while consuming their narratives.

PODCAST RECS

Okay so this is getting uhhh wicked long so I’m gonna limit myself to only three full blown recs and a

mini rec

Alice Isn’t Dead

Fuck me running this show is so good. Literally hands down my all time favorite (and scariest!) horror podcast. Mamma mia, that’s a good fuckin story. The Book version is also good and has fewer Weird events but some further character development so I recommend them both.

Basic Summary: After her wife Alice disappears mysteriously, Keisha takes up a job as a long haul trucker, traveling all across America in order to find her, but ends up finding so much. Pursued by a deadly creature she calls The Thistle Man, the stakes of her journey are raised.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: okay so I have a lost of bullet points of things that appealed to me specifically about supernatural and how no other shows covers all of them which sucks bc it means I basically Yearn for a show that’s supernatural but good. Alice isn’t Dead, however, hits the most of these bullet points AND is so fucking good. It has monster hunting. It has stopping a cataclysmic event BUT also discussion of the cyclical nature of events such as these and how the fight never truly ends but you can make some fucking progress nonetheless. It has a central gay romance that’s actually a central gay romance. It’s the ONLY show on this list that really hits that the weird and dark underside of americana vibe but specifically the americana of not like suburbs and shit but that eerie haunted feeling you get when you’re hours into a late night drive on open roads with no civilization around and an expansive sky and it just Seems like something should be watching you. Have you ever been out for a walk at midnight and encountered a deer and you looked into each other’s eyes and it felt like it was telling you a message that you couldn’t possibly hope to parse? Have you ever felt an incredible sense of deja vu eating in a restaurant you couldn’t have possibly been in before, because you’ve been to a thousand diners a thousand times just like one, and there’s an incredibly sense of homogeneity even though you’re 2000 miles away from anyone and anything that could possibly know you? Have you ever traveled to an area that seems to be stuck in a bubble of time, the only thing that shows any evidence of having aged past 2006 being yourself, and you wonder how your cell phone even works around here? THAT’S the spooky americana I’m fuckin talking about! Messed up road trips! Too much goddamn space! America is scary because it’s big and Filled With Things but also Not Enough Things! Fuck yeah!!!!! That time bubble fuckin EXISTS in Wyoming the most recent song on the radio I heard was fuckin Hey Soul Sister!

Also has a thing where like are there even good guys and bad guys in a conflict or is it all just one umbrella nightmare that you’re trying to stand against in anyway possible (u kno..like how the overarching structures of both heaven and hell were kinda fucked in spn? No spoilers but similar shit be happenin in Alice Isn’t Dead). Exploration of what makes someone into a monster, like how do you go down that path? Also this is the only show on this whole damn list that southern gothic music really suits it so points for that.

~~

The Magnus Archives

You know I had to do it to ‘em.

Basic Summary: Jonathan Sims has just become the Head Archivist at the Magnus Institute, a “research” “facility” that looks into paranormal/esoteric/unexplained phenomena.

John Mulaney Voice, Again: Nobody knows what the archivist is going to do next, least of all the archivist. He’s never been in an archives before, he’s just as confused as you are.

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Oh fuck this document is over 5k long I said I wasn’t gonna do this hhhhh so lipton lightning round: Slowburn Gay Romance but Actually Canon, Monster Hunting but Hey What Even Is A Monster Anyway, Acts Somewhat like a Loosely Connected Horror Anthology until it DOESNT, Little Things Build to Bigger Narrative, Characters Be Goin Through It (On God These People Need Therapy), Trying to Prevent/Fix The Apocalypse (X2!!!), Smug Asshole Big Bad,  Horror as a Metaphor For Various Shit, Basically if you thought that the Men of Letter concept slapped and you think it should’ve been the whole damn show including being Deeply British you would probably really fuckin like TMA. Also if ur like the ideal piece of media is a horror tragedy but also like it’s a wacky sitcom but also also fuck cops. U will like tma.

~~

Welcome to Nightvale

IF ANY 2012 TUMBLR FANDOM DESERVES TO MAKE A MASSIVE COMEBACK AND BE EVERYWHERE AGAIN AND ABSOLUTELY FLOOD MY DASH IT’S WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE WHY DID WE ABANDON THE SHOW THAT TREATED US THE MOST KINDLY DID YOU KNOW THAT EPISODES 108-110 ARE THE BEST FUCKING BUILT UP NARRATIVE REVEAL THAT I HAVE WITNESSED IN MY LIFE DID YOU KNOW THAT IT CONTINUED TO BE REALLY FUCKING GOOD AFTER MOST PEOPLE STOPPED LISTENING DID YOU KNOW CECIL AND CARLOS ARE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE A DOG AND A TODDLER NOW BECAUSE OF ALL THE GAY PODCAST PROTAGONISTS CECIL GERSHWIN PALMER LOVE OF MY LIFE ELDRITCHIAN CHEERLEADER AND CERTIFIED BIMBO KEEPS FUCKIN WINNIN BABY. DID YOU KNOW THAT CECIL THINKS PEANUT BUTTER IS A ROCK.

Basic Summary: Welcome to the sleepy desert town of Ņ̶̏ight V̶͚̰̮͗̔̊̊ale! Community radio how host Cé̵̟͚͕̗̞̙͂͑̽̄́c̵̤̼̞͈̪͓̍̽̋̚̕͜il Pǎ̵̧̨̢͚̻̈̂̄̇͐̇̊̀̆ͅl̶͚͎͕͉͖̬͓͑́̐̒̍̿̈́͢͜͝ͅm̸̧͙̟̖̠̳̬͋́͋́͌̚̚ͅȩ̙̖͎̖͂́̒͐͜͞r̢̢̛̰̻̮̺̩͙̼̈́͋̀͘ is here to k̠̠̰̦͙̯̥̎̄̆͌̎̀̿̔̌̚ê̷̢̬̥̞̩̯̘͒̽̈̓͐̂̔̍e̶̡̝̗̺̫̪̜͆̓̿̈͌͌̆͒͞ͅp̵̹̗̬̼̠̬͙̏͐͐̉̅͊͊́͟͞ͅͅ ỷ̛͙̞̦̦͖̑̉̌̎͞͡͡͝ͅo̧̧̥͎̻̥̲͇͋́́̔̈͌͞ǔ̸̬̯̫͇̦̮͕̤̲̯̽̔̀̔͆͋̈́͘̚ up to date all the local happenings, including w̸̢̢̢̧̡̡͍͖̻̳̹̼̼̰̬̭̱͔̲͙͍̰̠̥̺̝͖̺̖̼̮̼̞̳̞̜͉̤̯͇̖̳͖̠̙̺̲̤͇͈͚͓̮̭̱̭̩͚̟̥̬̟̻̝̼̖͚̘͐̆̅̂̃̈́͆͊̉̏͒́̈́̋͗͑̄̉́̐̌́̿̌͛̾̎̊̾̃̈́̉̔̍̐͛̕͘̚͜͜͠͠é̵̢̡̧̨̨̡̧̨̡̛̹̥̥̞̮̯͙͈̻̝͓͖͙̦̰͍̖̜̲̰̞͎͈̭̯̳͕̗͓͈̭̫̼̯̪̞̯̰̲̘̭͎̪̱̗̝̝̞̤̱͉͙̯͎̬͎̙̜̗͉̩̦͕̪̳͇͙̺̙̰̠͚͎̜̠͔̬͎̺̣͕̜̊̓̃̐̂́͂̎̐̾̔̽̀̉́̍̊̂̿̎͂͐̎̐̄̍̔̋̐̃͗̈́͂̀̒̊̎͘͘̕̚̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅa̸̡̧̡̡̨̡̨̛̛͙̣̘̳͎͖̥̝̟̱̩̥͙͉̝̲̙̮̩̩̹̱͔͎̥̹̻̜͚̭̬̳͚̤̙̖̯͎̱̫̞̪̻͖̱̞͔̭̻̺͚͚̯̬͓͓̳͇̳̦͓̞͈̮̤̭̣͉̲̞͚̘͗̆̃͌̅̍͊̓̈̇̌̒͊͑̊̏̊͌̈̓̿͗̒̏̒͊͒̏̃̎̒̀̅̾̍̀͘͘͜͝͠ͅt̵̢̡̨̧̧̛̛̛̯̤͓̘̻̤͓̪̰͔̪̝̫͎̻͔͈͎͔͙͕͈̰͓͍̀̏͒̆͋̈́̈́͂̔͋͆͂̅͗̍̆̍̆̔̑͊̏̈͒́̽͊́̿͂́̓͛̽͐͌̌̐̈̇̃̓̆̍̅̃̔̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅͅh̸̨̨̡̢̢̡̢̧̡̧̢̡̨̡̭̜̬̬̙͕̗̙̻̯̠̘͙̻̥͉͚̼̗͚͇͉̰͍̥͉̗͎̬̫͖͉͔̼̮̯̞̫̬̟̻͉̖̙̥̫͖̬͚̟̜̭͇͎̭̘̝̲̤͕͎̰̭̗̯̮̤̙̙̯͍̞̭͚͔͎̞̹̲̟͉̩̭̖̱̠͍̺͈̟̩̋̆̈́͆̍̆̄̏͜ͅͅȇ̸̢̢̨̨̧̛̜͍̺͎̬̪͙̻̝̣͓͈̺̩̳̟̲̠̣͈͎͎͈͉̙̪͖̳̺͇̹̊̍͊͑̿͊̌͛̿̓͊̾̀͂͛̉͆̾̽͆̈̏͛̊͛̍̈́̇͋̔͂̑͐̂̿͊̽͑͘̚͘͝͝͠͝ͅͅŕ̵̨̡̨̨̢̧̡̧̨̘̟͙̦̲̲̪̦̙̼̠̳͚̞̦̞͖͚͇̳͖̲̭͕̜̫̳̖̙͖͉͎̘̘̤̠͈̬͕̝̻͚̥͍͕̠̥͙̙̪̖̯͍̘̘̲̣̹̜̪̲̭̟̮̫̖̤̰͔̩̩͉̲͚̟̝̦̬̪̘̬̮̱͔̻̦̼̃̐̂͋̐̅̋͒̉͛́̅̈́̒̒͆̑̆͊̒͒̀̍̈́̍͌̍̏̔͋͌̒̍̌͛̓̈̂̐̕͘͘͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅ ̶̢̡̨̛̠͇̹̯͕͍̻̟̼̼̗̩̱̗̙̱̥̜̬̫̜͎͉̺̣͓̟̯̱͖̣̞̠̝̥͍̲̳̙̠͔̹̘̲̲̻̖̈́̊͋͜͜ą̵̡̧̟͕̬̳̜͈͈̳̝̜̣̬͔͈͈͎͉͍̯̟̞̺͎̝͇̰̥͖̬̯͙̤̬̼̲̦̯̭͓̠̺̳̱̰̮̎͋͆̈́͌͆̎̉̓̇̐͋͋́̃̉̈̄̏̓̉̿̅̒̉̒̉͂͛̄̀̇̒͊͛́͊̎́͆̌̆́̌͂̈́̽̋͛͗̑̊̀́̍͊̌͆͊͐͆̅̒̊̉̾̄͛̑̕͘͘͘͘͝͝͝͝͠͠͝n̸̡̛̛̛̛̛̙͎̬̦̠̼͓͈̝̾̍͑͛̅̒̾́̌̍͛̇̋̇̓̏͛̔͛̈́͆̿̌͐̿͊̿́͒̍̃̀̈͐̐̆͐̉̒̂̉̀̅̇̾͋̍͒̋̈̌̿͒͐̍́͗̀̌̌̚̕̕̕͘̚͘͘̚͜͠͝͝͝d̴̡̢̢̛̛̛̺̠̳̬͎̞̲̣̲̱̳̪̹͉̝̠̱̗̙̫̠̹̼̙̝͉̲̟̮̙̙̮̻̹͈̦̙̞͚̜̙̖̞͓̙̭͉̃̽̌̅̔̾̈́̒̽͑́̒͋̓̈́͆͋̽̒̃̽̋̐͌͂̍͑́̽̋̍͗̋͗͂̅̽̈̈̾͐̄̃̕̕͜͠͠͝͠͝ͅͅ ̵̡̡̢̛̛̗͚͍̺͇̲̳̯͓̰͍̙̮̙̜̟̞̣̼͕̝͔͙̺̫͈͈̠̻̘̱͍̦̭͔͈̤̺̗̮͕̦̞̘͍̯̻̝͓̤̳̫͔̩͉̬̈́͋̈́̐͒́̔́́̿̓̆͐̎͆̇͒̄̈̿̓̑̾̏̔̿͊̌͆͒̒͊̓̅̓́̔̅̀̀̀̃̿̂̑͂͆̅̎̾̏̓̂̈́͛͌̇̾͌͐̈̂̆͐̅̓̍̓̃̆͗̃͛̏̒̌̀̅͊́̽̐̆̿́̌͘͘̚̕͘̕̕͜͜͜͠͝͠͝͠t̷̢̥͓̄͗̾̄̅̚͜r̵̨̡̨̧̧̢̛̛̛̛̛͍͙͚̥̱̞̜̦̜̼̺͉̠̬͎̰̻̜̼̫̤͓͖͖̤͇̞̥̖̈́͊̆̓͊̑̑̋̒̈́̔̆͆́̐͛͑͊͋̇̈́̓̑̍̏͐͛̽̋̎͑̃̈́͒̇̂̇̌͂̀̍̊̇̓̋̈́̌̏̕͘̚̕̚͝͝͠ǎ̴̡͓͓̯̘̥̱̱͖̦̺͓̘͉͖̞̟̦͈̜̥̰̘̞͈̦̠̼̯̙̭̼͚̟̖̲̠̝̜̐̅͆̏̈́̍́͂̃̾͑̓͋̽̄̾́̾̆̾͒͋̎͂̈́͘̕̕̚͜ͅͅf̷̢̡̡̧̢̨̡̧̢̢̧̡̧̫͖̖͇̲̫̮͕͉͓̩̪̳̹̩͎̖̟̤̤̲̟̪̫̻̻̖̟̦͉̼͎͖̭͍͖͎̖̳̳͙̜͉̝̘̺̖͚̙͉͕͙̯͖̞͚̮̲̻͉͙̺̭͓͎̤͙̦̦̺̯͕̜̰͍̳̙̦͉̪̥́͋̓̅̀͋͐̀̄̊̆̉̒̐͒̀̏̈̇̊̉̆̐̏̾̀̀̓͛͆̍̾͗͌̀̄̔͒̀̍̈́͆̔̒̑̏̍̏͆́̾̐̂͋̂̔̂́̓̓̌͌̉͛́̒̐̽̏́̑͊́̌̆̂̑͋̇̈́͌̑̿̅͗̚̕͘̕̚͜͠͝͝͠͠f̴̨̨̛̹͌̂̓͌͛̀͑̾̓̍͗̽͆̉̊͗̇́̍͌̊͐̔̈́̊̇͆̄̃̑̕̕͘͘͘͠͝͝͝͠i̴̧̡̢̢̧̢̨̨̧̧̧̛̛͎̗̳̦̘̙͓̦̙͔̜̼̘͇͇̺̭͉̠̩̟̤̥̘͙̤̩͔̪̱̻͈̪̼̼̞̠͎̟̹͕̻̭̤̪̲͕̟̺̻̻͖͕͚̣͇̖̰̝̩͈̤͕͇͕̝͙̙̪͔̗̫͇͎̙̲̲͖̗̘͉̲̣̤͎̔̐̆͒̄̈́̀̎̃̃̅͆̌̈́̽̈́̅̈́̑̄̇͒͐̀̐̀̒̍̀̓͌͗̓̽́͗̓̎͂͛̅̑̔̀͛̈́̽̾̃̊͊͆̄̍͑̍̆̌̾͗̄̊̽̉̅̆̀̎̀͑̿̎̋̄̆̃͐̾̏͛͒̍̋̅͘̕̚̕̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅc̷̛̛͚̝̻̣̞̓́̃́̀̃̓͗͌̂͛́̒̊͑̓͆̇̈́͑̏̆̀͌̑͂͂̄͌̉̔̋́̎͒̿͗͒͛̇͛̿̎̍̕̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ ̴̢̧̢̡̨̢̡̨̡̢̢̛̺̘̹̯̤̩̘̯͔̞̟̬̠̣̟̻̥̜̤͔̥͕̠̥̞͎̗̩̱̮͉͔͎̲̯̱̙̜̥̳̮͔̦̣͖͔̜͉̗̪̳̹̦̤͇̣̙͕̯̫̖̝̼̹͍̠͎͓̗͎̦͓̲̯̱̠̰͇̮̹͔̝͉͙̹̜̹͈̹̥͖̣̳̲͖̓́͌̈́̈́̀͌̄͂̌̾́̍̔̊̓̿͋͂͋̈́̋́́̒̓̀̒̃͂̀͑̐͛̆̆͒̈́̅̿͊͌̍͗̌̌͆̂͌́̉̏̒̓͊̾̒̓̋̽͐̏̾͘̕͜͝͠͝ͅͅr̸̨̢̛̪̞̬͓͔̥̤̣͔̭̥̙͉̦̗̠̳̩͙̂̈́͑͑̿̋̓̀͋͆̋̕͝͝ë̴̢̡̨̬͈͉̖̞͔͎͓͖̼̘̬͕̰͈̥͈̝̩͎͉͉̫̜͚͕̤͔̟̯͓͎̟͙̜̭̩̗̮͎̗̤͇̝̩͎̜̺̯͕͇̝͎̯͙̖͙̮̗̮̘́̑͑͛̂̅̄̌̽̓̒̾̿͆̏̏͐͛̾̂̃͑͆̅̄̿͋̅͂̈́̽͋͒̎͐̒̓͆̌̉͑͊́̀̈̾͛̋͑̋̎̈̀̽̀͊̏͘͝͝͝͝͠͝ͅp̴̧̧̡̢̢̢̛̛̛͚̟͓̖̭̪̻̪̲̬̥̙̥̰̼̹͎͕̪̞̮̺̰̬̘̫̤͉̦͙̮̖̙̹̻͔̖̮̲̞̣̻̜̠͇̬͚̱̦̼̲̮̀̂͌̍̈̒̍̋̌̏͐̓͛̉̂̈̀͑̈́͊͗͋͗́̂̎̎̃͆͒̅̑̇́̈͐̾̀̔̒̉͑͒̅̓̈́̋͋̀̍̄̿̌̀̉͆̇̔̈́͗̋̄̓̇͗̎̉̆͊̒͗̚̕͘͘̕̕̚͜͜͝͝͠͠͠͠͠ͅͅͅơ̶̢̡̧̨̡̛̛͔̦̼̰̠̯̰̟̲̣̜͙̲͙̪̱̱͕̺̪͈͉̺̻̙̥̲̩̲̩͔̠͚̩͓̞̠̯̟̫̣̗̦̰͉͚͙̺͎̼͖̥̙͈̯̲̝̞͎̻͕̮͔̰̖͔̭͙̩̼͔̫̹̘͓͔̜̘͍̍̅̄͋͑̋̍̊̉̄̈̽̈͐̀͌͐̆͊͂̐̋̃̎͆͛̐̀̂̿̈́͂́̈̌͐̇̀̒͋͑͐́͌̐̇̊͆̀͂͋̏́͋͆̏͗͂͑̂̓̽͘͘̚̕̕̕̕̚͘͜͜͠͝͝ͅͅͅr̴̨̨̨̧̨̛̘͕͈͔͙̠̬̯̩̗̰̗̬̦͈̗̝̣͓͓̟͕͙͈̠̘̻͓̭̝̘̦̦͓̭̘͙̻̙̼̩̰̝͈̱̝̱̬͉͙̣̖̮̲͈̙̱̩̣͕̦̰̮͔͈͓̙̮͍̳̟̠̞͎̱̣̰͕̩̝̲̝͐́́̍̈͐͋̐̑̌͋̓̈́̈͗̿̈̈́͗̑̚͜͜͜͜͜͝ͅͅţ̴̢̨̧͇͉͎̣̬̣̝̗̬̹͇̮̞̈́̐̌̇̈́̌͊̐̅̂̌̂͒͌́̈͌̂̊͗̍̿͑͋̎̓͂̀̎̎͒̾̏̒͌̃̄͋̌̾̍̈́̐̏͑̊̍͑͆̉̓́̆̌̾̓͊̊̈̑͘̚̕͘͘̕͝͝͝͝͝s̴̢̢̡̛̬̹͚̻͉̦̦̣̦̠̜͕̤̳͓͙̟̬͕̘̦̿͗̉̏̒͆̓̄͊͌͛͂͑̒̃͛͘͜͝͝!

Shared elements with supernatural that you might Vibe with: Honestly, probably bc Nightvale and Alice are by the Same Dudes, a lot of these points are the same as Alice Isn’t Dead, but it’s less scawy and more funney. Also hits the “horror, but make it kind of a sitcom” vibes. Doesn’t have the same road trip vibes, but DOES capture the exact weirdness of South Western USA, so I’m still giving it “fucked up americana” credit. If you’ve never been to New Mexico ur like this is an exaggeration clearly no desert town is subject to like ACTUAL cosmic horror and unexplainable sights but I’m telling you New Mexico is just Like That. (I highly recommend visiting the land of enchantment if you ever get the oppurtunity it is a deeply odd and wonderfully unsettling experience.) Look man it’s gay it’s a horror comedy cecil has a wonderfully soothing voice and it hates capitalism so fucking much like oh my god so much what more could you want.

MINI REC ALERT: Wolf 359! I have nothing deep to say about this I just like it and my gut tells me that y’all would enjoy it too I know there isnt much for physical descriptions in the show but I know in my heart that the main character is so so pretty and so so stupid. I KNOW yall like some himbos that experience character growth.

Okay since It’s my party and I’ll speak if I want to rapid fire list of podcasts I just like and want more people to listen to even though I’m behind on like all of them shhhhh: The Penumbra Podcast, BomBARDed, Dungeons and Daddies, Stellar Firma, Wonderful!

SONG RECS

okay these aren’t like replacement recs or anything they’re just really good and I almost certainly would have put them on some sort of supernatural playlist in 2013 but I don’t, like, have a good playlist for them now so I’m subjecting y’all to them also they all have the youtube link for ease of access

Woah There Kimmy-  Felix Hagan & the Family

Devil’s Backbone- The Civil Wars

Blood On My Name- The Brothers Bright

Awake O Sleeper- The Brothers Bright

The Bottom of the River- Delta Rae

Old Number 7- The Devil Makes Three

The Bullet- The Devil Makes Three

In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company- The Dead South

Bartholomew- The Silent Comedy

Pomegranate Seeds- Julian Moon

Curses- The Crane Wives

Tongues & Teeth -The Crane Wives

OKAY THAT’S IT! THAT’S ALL FOLKS! FUCK!

[wiseabsol]

WA Reviews “Dominion” by Aurelia le, Chapter 15: Lost

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/15/Dominion

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula’s defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister’s plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

Content Warnings: This story contains discussions and depictions of child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. This story also explores the idea that Zuko’s redemption arc (and his unlearning of abuse) is not as complete as the show suggested, and that Azula is not a sociopath (with the story having a lot of sympathy for her). If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would strongly recommend steering clear of this story and my reviews of it.

Note: Because these were originally posted as chapter reviews/commentaries, I will often be talking to the author in them (though sometimes I will also snarkily address the characters). While I’ve also tried not to spoil later events in the story in these reviews, I would strongly recommend reading through chapter 28 before reading these, just to be safe.

Now on to chapter 15!

CHAPTER 15: LOST

 Alright, I’m a little late on this one, so let’s just dive into the ugly sadness of “Chapter 15: Lost,” shall we?

 The A/N mentions that Toph, Suki, and Sokka will be back in five or six chapters, and a part of me can’t help but think, “Good, you three are distracting us from the Surround Sound Stereo Angst for the Royal Fire Family.” Joking aside, I am looking forward to Toph’s character development later on, because even though I know some of what is going to happen in future chapters of “Dominion,” I legitimately don’t think that Aurelia and I have discussed Toph’s arc yet. It’s a blind spot for me, but I’m okay with that, since I want to have some surprises in the wings, rather than just enjoying how X and Y parts are executed. Both ways of reading this story are fun, but the former is more enjoyable for reader in me, rather than the editor.

 If the outline mentioned in chapter fifteen is still accurate, then that means that we have seven chapters left of “Dominion” at present, before we move on to “Thrones.” That number might be off, though, because Aurelia tends to be more verbose than she expects and has to split the chapters into multiple parts.

 On to the chapter itself. Ty Lee and Mai are meeting in a sitting room. Ty Lee is nervous and Mai wonders if Ty Lee thinks that she’s mad at her, but Ty Lee hastens to reassure her. Mai’s aura indicates that she’s anxious and struggling to maintain control during this conversation. Mai is upset about “Zuko’s mistake,” but she doesn’t blame Ty Lee for it—she knows who to blame (Azula, probably, but maybe both her and Zuko). Mai doesn’t think that it was a bad idea for Zuko to team up with June, because the bounty hunter will track Azula down in short order and have her back in custody.

 Ty Lee is not enthused about this idea. Despite knowing that Mai isn’t going to like it, she tells Mai that Azula shouldn’t be put back into the asylum. As trash of a human being as J. K. Rowling is, I can’t help but think of the quote, “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.” Ty Lee, you are the overlooked and unsung hero of this story. There should be shrines in your honor.

 Mai never likes it when Ty Lee brings up Azula, and usually deflects the conversation. Ty Lee also sees Mai less than she sees Azula, so they don’t get much of a chance to talk anyway. “Ty Lee still felt a little guilty about that, but Mai was always so busy, and Mai and Zuko would never even talk about Azula when she was the one who brought them all together in the first place….”

 A few things here. Ty Lee and Mai are maybe a little like Ty Lee and Zuko, in that they call each other friends, but it doesn’t seem like anyone is putting in the effort to be friends. Mai could be making more time for Ty Lee. Mai could be trying to empathize with Ty Lee over the Azula issue. At the same time, I think Mai has been trying to set a boundary with Ty Lee about Azula, but either Mai hasn’t made it clear enough to Ty Lee that this is a boundary, or Ty Lee isn’t able to respect it because Azula is so important to her. It seems like there are competing needs at work here, and the feelings on both sides are valid.

 At the same time, this situation has been festering for years. It’s clear that Mai has never been at peace with her feelings towards Azula, and that this is hurting her as much as it’s going to hurt Azula. I think Mai’s hatred for Azula is founded on the love she once had for her. While a large part of her might think that Azula deserved her fate, and even found it satisfying to see Azula brought low, there might also be a small part of her that wonders if that fall was partially her fault (it was, since Mai accidentally slammed down on Azula’s triggers), and feels guilty for it and for feeling that satisfaction. Also, from the way she’s been behaving, Mai might very well have been just as toxic and false a friend to Azula as she accuses Azula of being to her. She didn’t communicate her needs or desires to Azula, but instead let herself boil alive with resentment. She might blame Azula for how things went down, but she’s ignoring the role she played in it.

 As the conversation continues, Ty Lee dances around why it would be bad to send Azula back to the asylum (because Azula is pregnant), and Mai says, “‘She tell you they abused her? And here I thought it was her dad.’”

 Which brings another layer into this. I’m going to discuss this in more detail later, but Mai has now been confronted with the idea that Azula was an abused child—just as abused as Zuko was. And besides this recontextualizing Azula’s behavior, now Mai is left to wonder, “How did I never notice?” I think there’s a tiny part of her, one that she denies, that is appalled over what happened to Azula.

 Ty Lee, who loves Azula whole-heartedly, is HORRIFIED by this revelation. She feels like the ground is “rushing up to hit her” and remembers how Ozai treated her, the last night she spent in the castle as a kid. And then she…well: “But Azula was so strong, she wouldn’t let anyone do that to her, would she? At least she would have told Ty Lee, they were best friends!” Oh Ty Lee, honey. That’s not how abuse works. Azula wouldn’t have told anyone, both because she was ordered not to by her abuser, but also because that would have meant being vulnerable around someone else. Does that sound like something Azula would do?

 Mai says that Azula must have been lying about the abuse, but the thing is, Azula didn’t tell Mai about it. Zuko did. And even Mai doesn’t really believe it is a lie, if Ty Lee’s aura-reading is accurate. Mai’s just trying really hard to believe in her own lie. Mai argues that Ty Lee only ever sees the good in people—which isn’t true, since Ty Lee can see the flaws in people, but is more forgiving of them than the other characters are (except for Aang). Mai wonders if Ty Lee has convinced herself that there’s goodness in Azula where there is none.

 And that’s…a lot. Because there’s a mix of good and bad in everyone. Some people lean more towards one end of the spectrum than the other, but if you look hard enough, you’ll always find something that humanizes even the most saintly or heinous of people. My stepmother, who was emotionally and psychologically abusive, wasn’t pure evil. She made my father happy. She was fiercely protective of those she loved. She made the best oatmeal cookies in the world and shared my passion for sappy romances. I’ve progressed enough in my healing that I can see these things, and see her as a troubled person who made mistakes and never got the help she needed. But Mai…she hasn’t healed the way I have. She hasn’t forgiven Azula. She might never be able to do that, either, given recent events (and she doesn’t have to—that’s her choice to make). And as long as that’s the case, it’s so much easier for her to demonize Azula, because if Azula is a demon, then Mai doesn’t have to grapple with the messy reality of Azula as a person, or grapple with how Ozai’s, Zuko’s, and Mai’s own choices damaged her.

 Then we get this passage, which I’m going to quote in full, because it’s a slap in the face to absolutist thinking where Azula is concerned:

 “‘I know she did some bad things, some awful things even, but that was four years ago and she was just a kid! We all were!’ [Ty Lee] argued [ . . . ] ‘And most of that stuff she did on her dad’s orders, and who knows what he would’ve done if she refused—’

 ‘Oh yes, poor helpless little victim,’ Mai interrupted coldly, rising to her feet with more grace than Ty Lee. ‘It’s not like she ever had a choice.’

 ‘She had a choice, but this stuff makes a difference, Mai!’ Ty Lee insisted, desperate to make her see it. ‘It makes a difference how we judge what she did! And we know now she was crazy!’ Ty Lee seized on the horrible truth with more enthusiasm than she would ever have guessed, spreading her hands to offer explanation. ‘Doesn’t that make a difference to you?’”

 Context. Matters. It matters so much when you’re judging someone’s behavior. If someone is under duress, or isn’t fully in their right mind, or if they have no good choices, can we really blame them from making bad ones? And in Azula’s case, she was a child. Should she really have been written off by anyone, let alone our heroes?

 Mai doesn’t believe that Azula was mentally ill, though. That was just a part of Azula’s scheme, you see. Ty Lee is rightly appalled by this. “‘Even if—you thought she just made it up—to avoid prison or something,’ she grasped at the logic only loosely, because it was disgusting, ‘you can’t deny what it did to her! She starved herself almost to death, she almost died!’” I really appreciate that Ty Lee is disgusted by Mai’s reasoning here. You go, Ty Lee! Four for you, Ty Lee! You’re the only reasonable person from the Fire Nation in this cast, I swear.

 Ty Lee reminds Mai that there were witnesses to Azula’s deteriorating mental state, but realizes that Mai is in denial about this: “Realization leaked through cold and creeping as the egg Ty Lin broke over her head that one time. ‘Or maybe you can deny it,’ she whispered, horrified, and took a swift step back with hands raised before her when Mai lifted her head.” Yeah, I’m fully in agreement with Ty Lee’s horror. She’s looking at a friend who is so twisted up by resentment that she has lost sight of reality, in favor of believing a comfortable lie—namely, that Azula is irredeemable and so Mai doesn’t need to care about what happens to her. Even though Mai does need to care about this, because Zuko and Ty Lee will be gutted if Azula dies, and the Fire Nation will probably go to war over it.

 “‘I didn’t see her because she treated me like shit,’ Mai spoke deliberately.” Mai is right that she doesn’t have to have Azula in her life if she doesn’t want Azula there. You don’t have to have anyone in your life who has hurt you. But that isn’t all that’s going on here. Mai is still smoldering with anger four years later, and her inability to let that anger go has been eating her alive. It’s making her lash out at Zuko and Ty Lee when they try to broach the subject of Azula. This isn’t healthy for her or anyone else. This is just a continuation of the behavior that plagued her as a teenager—suppressing all of her negative emotions until they explode outwards, rather than allowing herself to feel them, accept them, learn from them, and move on.

 When Mai points out that she doesn’t owe Azula anything, Ty Lee replies that she wouldn’t have met or fallen in love with Zuko if she hadn’t been Azula’s friend. This stings for Mai, given that the siblings have had sex: “‘She gives, and she takes away….’”

 Ty Lee, being more perceptive than anyone gives her credit for, figures out that something must have happened. She’s very sympathetic, asking if Mai wants to talk about it. Mai panics and has another angry outburst, thinking that Azula must have told Ty Lee about what Zuko did. “[Ty Lee] was reminded uncannily of how Azula reacted to Mai’s rejection at the Boiling Rock, and found it hard to fathom how Mai hadn’t run for the hills on receiving such a look.” This is interesting, because it suggests that part of the reason why Mai loathes Azula so much is because of the similarities between them. There is nothing more unsettling than seeing a dark mirror of yourself in someone else.

 Ty Lee doesn’t know what Mai is talking about, and then kicks herself for revealing that to Mai: “Azula would have known enough to pretend she already knew, so Mai would tell her.” Mai shuts down at this point and tells Captain Tadao to take Ty Lee to her rooms, because they’ve “embarrassed each other enough for one day” and that they’ll talk later.

 Ty Lee knows that’s bullshit. “They wouldn’t because Mai never wanted to talk about Azula, and was extra unlikely to want to talk about Azula when she had problems of her own with Zuko.” I’m sure that Mai was reluctant to talk about Azula with Ty Lee because she didn’t think that Ty Lee would let her vent about her anger towards Azula, or understand it and not make excuses for Azula. Which is fair, but Mai should have found someone else to vent to to get the poison out, and then circled back to seeing Azula as a human being who fucked up.

 Actually, you know what Mai probably needs? She needs to confront Azula about what happened between them, because she hasn’t seen Azula since the Boiling Rock. Yeah, Mai had a cool line about loving Zuko more than fearing Azula, but that didn’t get into her specific grievances, or allow Azula to address or apologize for them to give Mai closure. And we know that Azula feels bad about what she did, because it was what haunted her the most when she was having her breakdown. If Azula really was a monster, then she wouldn’t feel that remorse.

 “Ty Lee felt bad about that, and she wanted to help Mai, she really did”—Ty Lee is too good for this sinful Earth—“but Mai wouldn’t tell her anything, and even though her problems seemed bad, Azula’s could get her killed—” Yeah, the most reasonable one of the bunch, our Ty Lee.

 Ty Lee begs Mai to do something to help Azula, because she’ll die if the Earth Kingdom catches her. Ty Lee has this heart-wrenching speech: “‘I know you guys had problems, and—maybe you think she was never your friend [ . . . ] But she thought of you as a friend, Mai, she told me so! She fought so hard to get better, she’s a better person now, and she deserves a second chance! But she’ll never get that chance unless we help her.’” Carve my heart out and eat it, why don’t you?

 And Mai…is unmoved by this. And condescending about it. “‘I hoped your actions might prove you were ready to cut ties with her too. But clearly you can’t be trusted to know what’s best for you” She’s referring here to Ty Lee seemingly choosing the Kyoshi Warriors over Azula. But also, it’s gross that Mai assumes that she knows what is best for Ty Lee. Fuck off with that, Mai.

 Mai doubles down on the whole, “Azula’s awful, I don’t owe her anything, and don’t come crying to me when she hurts you” schtick. If she’d met the adult version of Azula and seen that version of her hurt someone, such as Ty Lee, then this reaction would make sense. What this is instead is Mai holding onto a grudge that is years old and using it as a weapon. She’s clinging to the idea that Azula can never change…even though that’s not how people work. Especially not people in the formative years of their lives, which they all still qualify as.

 Aaaand Ty Lee, panicking now, reveals that Azula is pregnant as a last-ditch effort to get Mai to get her head out of her black-clad butt and see reason. Mai goes into despairing shock at this news and accidentally cuts herself with her own knife, much to Ty Lee’s and Captain Tadao’s alarm. One of the guards tries to grab Ty Lee, but Ty Lee chi-blocks him and he collapses. The next one manages to grab her. Mai orders them to remove Ty Lee from the room, and instead of putting Ty Lee in her guest bedroom, they stick her in a study.

 We learn that Ty Lee actually likes Tadao, because he works hard and doesn’t dismiss Ty Lee’s suggestions on how to improve palace security. He’s the one who comes to see Ty Lee instead of Mai. He tells her that Mai is going to be fine. She might have a scar on her hand, but she’ll still be able to use it. When Ty Lee wonders why she got so upset, Tadao points out that since Mai and Azula are sisters-in-law, Azula’s condition will have an impact on Mai. This is also “the latest in a recent line of insults.” To put it another way, Mai is bitter at Azula for having sex with Zuko and throwing that wrench into her marriage (namely, by revealing that Zuko is not the person she thought he was). Then there are the political considerations, given that Azula’s kid could have a place in the line of succession, if the kid gets legitimized someday. Which then puts little Lu Ten’s claim at risk.

 This also reveals that Captain Tadao knows what happened between Azula and Zuko. For a second, I thought that he was Mai’s uncle, and so the ugly secret was just between them and the Fire siblings. But no, more people know about it, and that is NOT GOOD. But Captain Tadao seems like a good guy (sidebar, but was he the guy who escorted baby Ty Lee out of the palace during the abortion episode? It would be a sweet connection if so), and when Ty Lee asks why Mai won’t confide in her about what is going on between her and Zuko, Tadao is gentle when he tells her, “‘I think you know the answer to that question.’” Ty Lee’s love for Azula and Mai’s hatred of her is something they cannot reconcile, and given how important Azula is in their lives, it’s a potential dealbreaker for them, at least as far as having a close emotional, trusting relationship goes. A casual friendship is still possible, but probably not if Mai or Ty Lee keep pushing each other.

 Mai has decided to pack Ty Lee off to Kyoshi Island, and has gotten her a ticket and an escort to the harbor. Ty Lee has written Mai a letter to continue their conversation. I’m struck by how fast Mai is pushing Ty Lee out of the Fire Nation. What if Ty Lee wanted to visit her family? What if she wanted to enjoy some spicy homecooked Fire Nation food? What if she, god forbid, decided to visit Ozai for a nice shouting match (well, shouting at his comatose body, more like)? Alas, the plot beckons us forward!

 We find ourselves back with Zuko and June. Hooray? I put a question mark there because Zuko doesn’t appearing to be having a good time with the bounty hunter. He is, in fact, puking his guts out. Traveling with June has the feeling of a boot camp to Zuko, because she keeps trying to “toughen him up”: “It reminded Zuko uncomfortably of his father’s early tutelage, before Ozai gave up shaping him into an unfeeling weapon of war, and turned his sights to Azula instead.” Oh Zuko, if you knew what Ozai was trying to shape YOU into, then why blame Azula for—at least in your eyes—becoming it?

 June puts all of the gross chores of their journey onto him, and tries to steal his food to see if he’s cunning enough to get it back. I’m sure she finds this amusing, but I remember how hard Zuko’s journey apart from Iroh was, and I think she might have an overly inflated opinion of her teaching skills.

 In any case, they find the Dai Li agent hiding in a cave and June forces Zuko to interrogate him. It sounds like June is doing the heavy-lifting where torturing the man is concerned, though. June keeps telling Zuko to burn the man, and reminds him that Azula will be tortured if she’s captured. Eventually, the man begs Zuko to kill him, and Zuko has a flashback to when he was burned by Ozai: “he could only think of a hand wreathed in flame, reaching for him.” It’s at this point that Zuko throws up. He tries to argue that the man deserves this: “He would have blackmailed me, hunted my sister down like an animal. He wouldn’t flinch from torturing her, even killing her if he was ordered.” This line of reasoning doesn’t give him any comfort, though.

 I do want to point out that torture, despite what fiction would like us to believe, is an ineffective tool for getting reliable information out of someone. Oftentimes it’s bribery that works better, such as, “You know we can’t let you go, but if you tell us what we want to know, we can make sure that no harm comes to your loved ones.” People in pain will say anything to make it stop, so gentler methods are more effective. However, it’s become ingrained in our cultural consciousness that torture works, despite what studies have shown. And since hurting the villain can be cathartic to an audience, and a hero hurting the villain can tell us something about them as a person, it comes up a LOT in action stories. And while I am exhausted by it being used in this way (torture as a tool of the villains tracks better, since there is no shortage of people who find satisfaction in making other people feel pain), I do see why it is used here. It’s only recently that the ineffectiveness of torture has become more generally known, whereas Zuko lives in a time period analogous to…probably the late 1800s?

 I do wish that the torture here hadn’t yielded the information that it had, or that this information turned out to be bunk upon investigating it. As if it, the Dai Li agent is mostly filling in non-vital information: that he worked as an orderly at the asylum and had a partner there, hence how he got to the beach house on Ember Island so fast. So the partner needs to be taken care of at some point soon. Zuko better remember to send that letter!

 Then we get this chilling thought from Zuko: “Zuko considered for the first time what might have happened, if she had not run from the asylum. If the Earth Kingdom grew impatient [ . . . ] it would have been appallingly easy to make her death look like a suicide, an accident overdose, a bad reaction to her medication….” Yeah, she was definitely a sitting duck there.

 “He wondered if Azula knew, or suspected, that she was in the care of her enemies when she decided to run [ . . . ] She had an instinct for these things. The only time she hadn’t seen it coming was when her friend betrayed her. And when Zuko left to join Aang in ending the war, if her converse [sic] with absent fathers was to be believed—" I don’t know if Azula ever knew that there were Dai Li agents lurking about, but even Zuko is starting to see why Azula has such bad trust issues.

 It looks like June continued with the torture and got the location of her dad out of her victim. I really wish she’d gotten a fake location, but I understand that the plot necessitates a swift end to this subplot. June hopes that Zuko is less squeamish about violence when someone is out to kill him, but I’m sure he would be fine in that situation, because that would be a fair fight, rather than causing someone who is helpless and incapacitated a useless amount of pain. June killed the agent in the end, and when Zuko argues that torturing him wasn’t right, and she replies with, “‘It was necessary. You head one of the most powerful nations in the world, don’t you know what that is?’”

 And…(sigh)…yes, leaders need to make tough calls sometimes. But if they choose to do something this ugly, they really shouldn’t be fine with it afterwards. They should acknowledge that it was evil, but that they couldn’t see another way to accomplish their goal. That route accepts more responsibility than hiding behind the idea that it was for “the greater good” and that no one else could have thought of a better path forward. When June says that the torture was necessary, that doesn’t make it not evil. It just means that she didn’t see another way to get what she needed.

 June then points out that Ozai was a helpless prisoner when Zuko burned him, which stings Zuko. I would argue that Zuko is right about it being different—his crime was one of passion, whereas June’s was coldly calculated. But both ultimately led to human suffering, so both of them were wrong to do it.

 Zuko takes a deep breath to keep from lashing out at June, which tells us that he CAN manage his anger when he wants to. He’s struggling, though, because he’s tempted to tell June what Ozai did to Azula to justify burning his dad. He decides not to: “It didn’t feel right somehow, telling anyone else about the abuse. He wondered if this was how Uncle felt when he found out, and why he didn’t say anything. He still should have said something….” Zuko is right—Azula’s trauma isn’t his to share. He also goes from having empathy for Iroh to being angry with him in a split second, which makes sense. He’s conflicted about how his uncle handled the discovery. At the very least, Iroh should have told her doctors, so she could get the care she needed.

 “How many more of [June’s] cruelties would he have to witness or take part in, before this was over?” This is rough and why I am not a fan of characters like June. Azula’s actions in this fic are calculated to minimize harm; June has no such scruples. She’s too much in “the ends justify the means” frame of mind.

 Zuko has two thoughts that suggest that Azula is the devil on his shoulder, as far as his brain is concerned. “You would [burn Ozai] again” and “You could kill [June . . . ] Remove the threat.” He describes the latter thought as being “so alien and disturbing Azula might have suggested it herself.” No, my dude. Just like hallucination!Ursa is a reflection of Azula’s doubts, whispering!Azula is a reflection of Zuko’s darker thoughts and impulses, which he deflects onto her because that is easier for him to do than face the darkness within himself.

 He then has some off-color thoughts about June, besides the idea of murdering her. “Sometimes Zuko thought she was more animal than woman”—Gross!—“and didn’t know whether to be turned on or disgusted by her antics. He had even wondered once in the long hours he spent riding behind her how Mai would look dressed all in black leather like that.” This would be a much lighter story if Zuko and Mai had just embraced his leather kink, rather than him embracing his toxic desire to possess Azula.

 As June taunts him about how he wouldn’t win if he tried to kill her, he figures out that she knows that he slept with Azula. She confirms it: “‘Your secret’s out. I might have forgot to mention our mutual friend let that slip, before the end. He got a message to the others. Looks like we should’ve moved faster.’” This means that Zuko, Azula, Mai, Mai’s uncle, Tadao, June, and now some unnamed Dai Li agents—who will probably pass this information along to their superiors—are in the know. That is very bad! Zuko had better hope that they’ll be able to spin this information as slander against him and his family, because if people believe it, his family is going to have a tough time holding onto the throne.

 June throws in that now she knows why he has problems with women, which Zuko denies. I feel like he’s better about women than Iroh and Ozai, but his treatment of Azula is definitely skeevy. June, in any case, isn’t bothered by this information, because she doesn’t have siblings as far as she knows. She also doesn’t have the same cultural teachings as Zuko, so she doesn’t have the same taboos that he does.

 We switch over to Mai, who is sulking in Zuko’s study. She’s read Ty Lee’s letter a few times by now and is not impressed. She thinks that she’s entitled to be upset, given the situation, and I can’t fault her for that. “That a man so endearingly awkward and painfully sincere would betray her with anyone, let alone his manipulative bitch of a sister, was a permissible source of surprise.” While I don’t like how she describes Azula, I agree with the rest of her sentiment.

 “That Azula would take fullest advantage of his lapse was not.” This is ridiculous, though. What, did Azula plan to escape while she was ovulating so that she would become pregnant when she seduced her brother? Is that how the story is going in your brain, Mai? Why would Azula do something like that? She’d be disgraced if anyone found out, just as much as Zuko (unless she spun it as rape, which IT WAS. But Mai seems to be thinking that Azula would make a false accusation). Azula certainly will be disgraced if she has a bastard. Also, her being pregnant is going to slow her down and make her more vulnerable. That’s such a stupid plan, and when have Azula’s plans ever been stupid?

 “Mai bent her head and gripped her bandaged hand, to draw a deep breath against the grief that welled inside her like an aching void. A void that demanded how he could do this, how he could still defend her, how he could think she didn’t plan this, why—” Mai is struggling because she knows that she was mostly betrayed by Zuko (she no longer trusted Azula, so how could Azula betray her?), but she can’t help but think that Azula had an evil plan. Probably because if Azula did have an evil plan, then maybe Mai could someday forgive Zuko for falling for it.

 Her uncle arrives and she tells him the news. “And Mai felt a rush of ruthless satisfaction, upon seeing the warden back into the desk adjacent to her, revulsion etched in every line of his aging face. It wasn’t just her. Zuko tried to act like this was a terrible but legitimate mistake, like it was at all comparable to anything he’d done wrong before. But her uncle knew. He knew it was an abomination.” Yeah, Zuko and Azula committed a big cultural taboo. It’s unsurprising that other people are reacting this way. Also, I’m sure some of Mai’s satisfaction is that finally, someone is on her side, rather than on Zuko’s or Azula’s.

 Her uncle voices the idea that maybe the child isn’t Zuko’s at all—that Azula is trying to trap him with a lie—but Mai responds that whether it is or isn’t, Zuko will think it is, and that’s what will matter. She then reflects on her own sexual history with Zuko. They were sleeping together before he defected, and they continued to carry on without protection when he returned. It took two years before she became pregnant with Lu Ten, long enough that she’d wondered if Zuko was waiting to marry her until he was sure she could get pregnant. Which even she knows is a silly idea. He probably just didn’t think to make their union official until she got pregnant and he realized that he should do the “honorable” thing and wed her.

 Mai is salty about Azula getting pregnant from one night with him, when it took so much longer for her. When her uncle asks her what she plans to do, she comments that Azula’s medical records have gone missing. Zuko might have them?

 “‘Supposedly she almost died in the asylum,’ Mai explained, her words ringing strangely hollow to her own ears. ‘Her doctors said she would never fully recover. I wanted to know if I could reasonably expect this to kill her.’ She tried to imagine the princess bleeding out, that she might die screaming in the same agony Mai endured when Lu Ten was born—and couldn’t. But there would be time enough to consider why later.” Mai can’t imagine her ex-friend dying. As much as she hates Azula, I don’t think she genuinely wants Azula dead, as convenient as that would be for her.

 She then subtly suggests to her uncle that they could make it look like Azula just bled out like that—a tragic turn of events, but not anyone’s fault. Mai then accuses Zuko of being irrationally protective of Azula and that he’ll set Mai aside if she moves against Azula openly. I’m not sure Zuko would really do that, since he loves Mai deeply, but I don’t think their marriage would ever recover if Mai killed Azula.

 Her uncle notices her hand, and we get this sweet moment: “Mai put her hand in his offered palm without hesitation. A reflex born of the first months she spent training with knives under his tutelage, when he had often [sic] to tend nicks and cuts gained in her practice. When Mai showed no signs of firebending by her fifth birthday, it was her Uncle Tom who first put a blade in her hand, and offered his home for the summer, so she might learn to use it.” When Mai mentioned that her current injury was an accident, her uncle adds, “‘A man like that isn’t worth hurting yourself over.’”

 This is a genuinely sweet relationship, and it makes me wish that he had been the one who raised Mai, instead of her parents. She probably would have learned how to express her emotions in a healthy way, rather than bottling them up. He also doesn’t seem to care that she was a girl and had gender roles to conform to. Really, I’m glad that he’s in her corner. She needs someone to be, because this situation is legitimately awful for her.

 Mai gets a hug from her uncle, which I think she’s needed for a while. She thanks him for being there for her and not saying, “I told you so,” because her uncle never approved of Zuko. They even make a joke about the situation, about how neither of them thought Zuko would cheat on her with his sister, which is some very dark humor.

 Things take a turn when her uncle comments that the Royal family has been corrupt since Sozin, to which Mai replies that he should be careful, because her son is one of them. Tsutomu then suggests that he doesn’t have to be—that if something happened to Zuko, Lu Ten could be raised away from the toxicity of the paternal side of his family. Mai doesn’t like this idea, but her uncle keeps pushing, suggesting that if Zuko has cheated once, maybe he’s done so before and will do so again. Mai shoots this line of reasoning down, because she’s questioned their household about it and knows better, and doesn’t think that Zuko will stray again. Tsutomu keeps suggesting that they could have Zuko killed, and Mai tells him to stop thinking about it. He insists that he would never do anything without her consent. I want to trust him on this, but given later events, I worry that he might have some involvement there. If he does, it will be a case of him thinking that he knows what’s best for her, rather than respecting her wishes.

 We then shift back to Azula, who was being pursued by Fong’s men, but managed to shake them when she entered the swamp. Unfortunately, her mount broke its leg when they were running down the mountain, so Azula had to put it down. What a waste! It would have been cruel to let it suffer, though. Azula wanted to trade her ostrich horse for a different mount, but the sandbenders never showed up. She travelled in the desert for a while, keeping the mountains in sight to avoid getting lost, but she needed more water before long. That was when she was discovered by Fong’s men, and she has a couple of sardonic thoughts about how her “famous luck” hadn’t helped her out.

 She then starts trekking through the standing water in the marsh, and I’m already shuddering at the thought of all of the mosquitos there. Though they’re probably crossed with something like a wasp to make them extra horrible. Azula climbs up a tree to see if she can spot her pursuers, and thinks about how stupid they were to advertise their intentions in a fight. Fair! We also get the interesting tidbit that benders and nonbenders in the Earth Kingdom tend to work together in squads, whereas this team was specifically all earthbenders and was patrolling during peace time. Azula takes this to mean that they were searching for her. We also learn that Azula is heading to an avatar shrine.

 Azula’s pack is waterlogged at this point, and she sighs in a way that reminds her of Mai. This thought leads her to reflect on her ex-friend, much like Mai was doing earlier in the chapter. There is a humous moment where Azula thinks that Mai would have given herself up to avoid stepping into the swamp, and then a bitter one as she thinks, “You never minded getting your hands dirty except in the most literal sense. Yet it was you and not Ty Lee who finally suffered a crisis of conscience—” Meaning that Mai’s betrayal really did come out of nowhere for Azula.

 At this, Azula starts hallucinating Mai. She nearly falls out of the tree in surprise, with her pack opening up and her supplies tumbling into the water. Hallucination!Mai is offended by Azula’s thoughts, reminding Azula that she loved Zuko and didn’t want his blood on her hands. Azula, after a moment, reminds herself that she’s not in the asylum anymore, so what she’s seeing could just be a trick of the light or her imagination…except the Gaang ran into visions in this swamp, so it might be magic at work.

 Azula tries to get herself back onto the branch properly, but can’t manage a full crunch. Oh buddy, I feel you. She then does the way more impressive thing by swinging backwards, releasing the branch, and grabbing the vines to stop her fall on the way down. She notices that her pursuers are spreading out around the edge of the swamp, probably to intercept her when she emerges. She figures they’ll wait for reinforcements and might try to flush her out when they have better numbers.

 Azula considers that there might be dangers in the swamp that she’ll have to deal with, such as “deadly beasts or hostile primitives.” (Sigh.) Sometimes, her being from an imperialist society rears its ugly head. She figures that she needs to make her way to the far end of the swamp before her pursuers do. She takes some time to regather her supplies and then starts the wet trek, while being swarmed by mosquitos. She decides to heat the air around her to try to drive them off. I wish I could do that on summer evenings!

 We shift over to Zuko, who is fighting with a team of Dai Li. Looks like he and June have arrived at the hideout! June has coated her whip in shirsu weapon, which works well and makes her match with Nyla. Zuko notes that the Dai Li are trying to use lethal force on him and June, since they aren’t there on official Fire Lord business, so no one will know who killed them. June at one point does a handspring that would have impressed Ty Lee, which is a fun detail, and then Zuko pulls a leaf out of June’s book and makes some fire whips. Once they’ve taken care of the team, they go through the cave and pass by the crystal cells, which June doesn’t bother to check because there are no guards around. Zuko has a sinking feeling that some of the guards must have smuggled June’s dad out and they’ll have to start the search all over again, which means that one of the unconscious men they left behind might get a spot of torture. BUT Nyla knocked out the guards before they could flee on ostrich-horseback, so June’s dad is fine and trying to get his cuffs off.

 June’s father is a balding man with a squarish face and glasses. He teases June for taking so long, and then notices Zuko. There’s an argument about the logistics of the fight, the point of it being that June wasn’t sure if Zuko was going to hold his own, and that if he got caught, she was worried that he would have told them which way June and her father ran. Zuko is insulted at the idea that he would have ratted them out, and asks if they would have left him behind. June says that they wouldn’t have, mostly because it would have come back to bite them if they had. Zuko reminds her that now that her father is free, it’s time for her to fulfill her part of the deal and track down Azula. June asks him if he has a scent sample from Azula on him, because the last one they had is ashes now, and led Nyla to him anyway.

 He thinks there are still things in the house on Ember Island that they could use, and remembers some of what happened that night: “Her lips moved silently, forming the same word over and over again. He knew what word she spoke now, two months too late…. I used her no more kindly than him.” Yikes! That word is father and just…ugh. This twisted family. I was trying to explain the appeal of this fic to a friend last night, and I kept saying, “It’s really dark and heavy, but it’s fascinating from a psychological standpoint!”

 The trio decide to head to Ember Island. If nothing there works as a sample, they’ll go to the palace. I don’t think there would be fresh enough scents there, so the beach house will have to work. Zuko thinks that after they find Azula, he’ll “make amends, the only way he had left.” Presumably he means to Azula, but he could also be talking about Mai, since Mai also wants Azula caught, though his sister’s fate afterwards would probably be darker than what Zuko wants.

 We switch back to Azula, who is being badgered by Hallucination!Mai. I am a little amused about the joke she makes about Azula never lacking direction, though the direction was sometimes the wrong one. If this is Azula’s self-doubt talking, then that’s an acknowledgement that she’s made mistakes and hasn’t always gone down the right path, which flies in the face of her usual self-confidence. There is a suggestion that this hallucination is actually a swamp vision, rather than a symptom of Azula’s mental illness. Unlike her normal hallucinations, this image of Mai vanishes as soon as she looks too closely at it. “Strange that the hallucinations at the asylum never did that.”

 This Mai talks more than the hallucinated version of her did. “‘You ever think maybe I didn’t say much, ‘cause I knew you didn’t care what I had to say?’” this Mai says. Azula, tired and bitter, snaps back sarcastically, pointing out that she asked for Mai’s council many times and trusted her as much as she allowed herself to trust anyone. I suspect part of what’s going on here is that Azula is grappling with her fear about how other people—specifically the people she loved—view her. She fears that they see her as a monster and that they’re right to do so, because of the choices she’s made. It’s one thing to have your family by blood betray you, but another thing to have your chosen family do so.

 Azula admits that she used Mai’s “infatuation” with Zuko for her own self-gain (clearly not realizing the depth of Mai’s love for Zuko), but that she “still expected Mai to be smart enough to act in her own self-interest.” She was secure in that belief, otherwise she wouldn’t have brought Mai to the Boiling Rock or let Mai have the “first crack at Zuko.” From the sound of it, Azula thought that she was giving Mai a chance for revenge over being left behind by Zuko. Except that Mai couldn’t stand by as he was killed….

 Which Azula doesn’t understand. “‘He was a traitor!’ Azula screeched in disbelief, her fist clenched so hard she could feel every bone in her hand. ‘He betrayed you just as much as me! And you still chose him!’ Her voice broke. I was your friend first. He wasn’t anything to you anymore. He ended it in a letter, too much of a coward to tell you to your face. He hadn’t even left her a letter, or any warning of what to expect, the next time she was called before their father….”

 While it was a good thing for the world that Zuko chose to help Aang, these are all solid points. Zuko did betray his Fire Lord and nation, so from their perspective, he is a traitor (who, in addition to defecting, then took the throne from Ozai’s appointed heir). He didn’t break up with Mai in person. He didn’t think about what Ozai might do to Azula afterwards. Zuko could certainly have handled the latter situations better.

 Vision!Mai devalues Azula’s friendship next, saying that it didn’t compare to his love, and that Zuko was the love of Mai’s life, whereas Azula was a monster. It’s playing right into Azula’s deeply held belief that the reason no one loves and chooses her is because there’s something inherently wrong with her—something that isn’t wrong with Zuko (even though Zuko has fucked up in this story real bad).  

 Azula punches a tree in anger and thinks that the hallucinations have said worse to her than this, which is super sad. What’s even sadder is that Azula thinks the same things about herself, even without them around: “didn’t Azula think that about herself every day?” She needs some real therapy, not whatever she was getting in the asylum.

 Azula is lost by this point, and decides that she needs to find a dry place to sleep and recover, rather than continuing to drain herself by wandering around. Once she gets into the hollow of an old tree trunk, she takes off her socks and boots to avoid trench foot. Good plan! Though couldn’t she also dry out both with her bending? Probably for the best to let her feet air out, though. She then tries to eat, but her food has bog-water in it, and the rice apparently looks like maggots. Gross! She gets sicks, which could be from her morning sickness, from a blood-borne disease from the mosquitos, from the contaminated food, or from a combination of the above. After throwing up a second time—the Fire siblings both have delicate stomachs this chapter!—she decides to stick to drinking water instead.

 Azula is getting chills now, which suggests that she’s genuinely sick. She then sees Vision!Mai again, who gives her a nasty Reason You Suck Speech. She accuses Azula of not knowing what love or trust is—excuse me, Ty Lee is proof that that’s not true!—and then adds, “‘You never respected me, or my boundaries, or anything that was mine.’” I’m trying to remember if there was evidence for this in the show, or if this is Azula trying to come up with reasons for why Mai turned on her, and wondering if it was these things? That Azula feels guilty about this, though, shows that she is capable of seeing what she did wrong and learning from it. She can grow as a person…though she needs to be allowed to do so by the people around her. Ty Lee gave her that chance and now their relationship is much healthier. But it’s hard to grow when the people around you keep punishing you for what you did, and never believe that the growth you’ve made is genuine.

 Mai then asks, “‘Why else would you seduce [Zuko]?’” which Azula denies, saying she didn’t mean for it to go that far. Apparently, Azula hoped that the kiss would distract him, and then she’d be able to chi-block him so he couldn’t move. Unfortunately, he reacted by throwing her into a nightstand, and after she twisted her ankle, there was no running away.

 Mai accuses her of lying—that she did it because she saw Zuko’s weakness and was exploiting it. She asks, “‘How did it feel when he did that to you?’” and Azula doesn’t respond. I think this is where, if she’d felt any pleasure or satisfaction from the sex, it would sneak in and provide an extra layer of shame. That it doesn’t suggests that all Azula felt was violation and pain in the act.

 Mai says that this must be why Azula hates her—not because of the betrayal of their friendship, but because she “played the game better than [Azula]. And [Azula] lost.” If I’m parsing this right, Azula thinks that Mai believes that Azula wanted Zuko, and that because Mai won Zuko, Mai got more political power than Azula, beating Azula at the political game. It’s an ugly take, and while I don’t think Mai’s accusations are fair—because we’ve seen from Azula’s perspective what her motives were—this does show that Azula knows Mai quite well, because the real Mai’s thoughts run along similar lines as the vision’s. Real Mai believes that Azula seduced Zuko to blackmail him and continue playing the political game, when in reality, it was a terrible mistake. Azula might have “started it,” thanks to Ozai’s training, but she never would have considered kissing Zuko if Ozai hadn’t done what he did.

 Azula asserts that she hasn’t lost until she’s dead. I don’t think she means “winning Zuko” when she says this. She then puts out the fire and goes to sleep, dreaming about her father. After Zuko was banished, her training went into high gear, with more lessons on statecraft and the like. She was so busy that she didn’t have time to miss Zuko—which is definitely a lie—and he would have spoiled her happiness anyway by sulking and trying to get their dad’s attention. “It had been a source of amusement one, but they were not children anymore.” Oh honey, you both were children during canon. Maybe Zuko and the water siblings came of age during the show, but that age was still below what we would currently consider the age of majority.

 Azula wondered what Zuko would have thought about the sexual training Ozai inflicted on her. Not that she would ever have told Zuko. We then get a series of thoughts that were almost certainly things Ozai told her: “[Azula and Ozai were] willing to do whatever it took to succeed, to survive. [Zuko] would never realize that people will use anything against you, unless they are too afraid of your doing the same.” This is a paranoid way of looking at the world and the people around you, and also self-defeating. If people are afraid of you, they will turn on you the moment they think they can get away with it (and sometimes even before then—Mai knew that she was throwing her life away when she saved Zuko, but she did it regardless). Love and trust, on the other hand, are what makes people will stick by you, even if you’re a walking disaster.

 “[Zuko] never saw his own peril, until it was too late. Sometimes Azula thought he still didn’t see it.”—Foreshadowing!

 Azula then thinks about the training itself. “Her father said it would hurt the first time”—that’s a myth. If you have a vagina and are aroused and lubricated enough, even the first time shouldn’t hurt. “—but it didn’t only hurt the first time. Sometimes it was hard to know what he wanted, and he was as intolerant of failure in this as in her firebending.” This is awful, but also, Ozai sounds like a terrible sexual partner. You’re supposed to communicate what you want and don’t want during sex. You can’t expect your partner to intuitively know that. They’re not psychic!

 “As he should. It made her strong.” Azula, that training didn’t make you strong. It destroyed your boundaries and your ability to approach sex in a healthy way.

 “It wasn’t always—Sometimes he would stay with her after, and just talk. She liked those times. It made her feel important. It made her feel loved.” She’s shying away from thinking of it as awful, even though she clearly felt that it was. The implication is also that she didn’t feel important or loved during their other interactions. Ozai, you are a TERRIBLE parent!

 Which I think some part of Azula knows, because when she starts to feel the vines from the swamp wrapping around her, she imagines her dad molesting her. Still half-asleep, she lashes out with fire knives to free herself from the vines and runs out of her shelter. It’s daytime—Azula missed rising with the sun—and Azula is sicker now than she was the night before: “Her head pounded, her heart hammered, her joints ached like she took a beating. Her skin burned so hot that steam rose from her body when she hit the water.” This could suggest that she was beaten by Ozai at some point, but then again, all of these characters have been in combat, so that might be what this comparison is referring to.

 The plants keep trying to grab her, which I think indicates that the waterbenders in the swamp are trying to catch her. I seem to remember them being the ones in control of the vines, rather than the vines themselves being predatory. Azula manages to escape, but is winded from it, which means that she won’t be able to bend. She’s also dizzy, nauseous, and shivering uncontrollably. Plus, it’s actually evening now, so she slept through most of the day. Azula realizes that she has no idea where her old shelter is, so her supplies are lost to her. She’s experienced abdominal cramps, too, and wonders if she’s miscarrying.

 “This was what you wanted, she reminded herself pointlessly, though she knew very well what her mother would say. That she deserved this, for wishing her baby dead. Her tears fell on the water when Azula bent forward to hug herself, head bowed as if she could hold the pain inside anymore—” This might be the first time that Azula thinks of the fetus as her baby, which indicates that she might not want to lose it as much as she thinks she does.

 She then hallucinates child!Zuko, which is heartbreaking. He tells her not to cry, “his round face scrunched in the look of unstudied concern their mother loved so well, and which Azula could never recall him directing at her.” Ouch! The dysfunction in their relationship went back really far, didn’t it?

 “Didn’t he know the world would beat him down over and over again so long as he kept that way? That not just Father and Azula, but every person with an ounce of cunning would take advantage of him when he wore his heart on his sleeve like that? She told him so many times, but he never listened until it was too late.” So she acknowledges that she and Ozai took advantage of his naivety. She certainly did when she tried to trick Zuko into coming home early in season two. But also, Azula has a point. There are people in the world who take advantage of emotionally open and giving people. I don’t think that the solution to this is to harden your heart, though. Instead, you need to surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you. Zuko did that with the Gaang, which is part of why he succeeded and Azula failed. I’ll also note that Zuko would have done better with Azula as his ally, since she would have been more discerning about who was allowed in his court, and could have told Zuko about their ulterior motives and told him the unpleasant truths he wouldn’t want to hear. As it is, Mai has taken on that role.

 “Yet in the end, he prevailed. The world bent to him. He got to be himself without condition, but not her. Never her. She didn’t understand….” Zuko allied himself with what wound up being the winning side, due to Aang defeating Ozai. If Aang had fallen, Zuko’s fate would have been much grimmer.

 Zuko made a better choice than Azula did, but it’s important to note that he knew he had a choice. I don’t think Azula realized that leaving was an option for her. Why would she, when she believed that her nation was the best in the world, that their cause was right, and that if she stayed loyal, she would be the ruler of it all in the end? She would have lost everything if she’d left, and gained…what? The Gaang, Iroh, and Zuko hated her, so she couldn’t go to them. Mai and Ty Lee hadn’t defected yet, so she would have been abandoning them. And while she would have escaped Ozai’s abuse, she also saw Ozai as the only person who valued her and loved her for who she was. Even if being around him hurt, it was better than being alone.

 No one except Ozai, at any point, held out their hand to Azula and asked her to join them. So while she is responsible for her own choices, how much can we blame her for what she chose, when none of her alternatives seemed viable?

 Child!Zuko says that they are playing a game of hide-and-seek, which is true in the grand scheme of this story. He claims that he’ll always find her, which Azula says she no longer wants. He’s disappointed, but insists that it’s getting dark out, so he’ll help her find her way. He then lights the tiniest flame in his hand. “Azula’s stomach clenched painfully at the sight, plucked out from her earliest memories and brought freshly to life. How desperately she wanted to bend when Zuko made his first flame, and she saw how their parents explained over him….” This suggests that neither of Azula’s parents paid much attention to her before she first firebent. No wonder she came to believe that their love was conditional, and that she had to excel at what she did to earn it.

 Child!Zuko, seeing her sadness, assures her that she’ll learn how to firebend when she gets older. I think it was mentioned already that she learned when she was three, which is mind-boggling to think about, since she would have been a toddler. He adds that she’ll pick it up in no time, since she’s “smart for a girl.” Ah, that sexism. He could have left it at “you’re smart,” but he had to add that qualifier. While the Fire Nation is less overtly sexist than the EK and the NWT, it’s clear that sexism is still a problem there. That baby Zuko is saying things like this is symptomatic of that.

 “Half of what he said might be condescending bullshit, but this was still more supportive than Azula could ever remember him being.” This is very sad, since it means that Zuko started treating her as an adversary very early on in their childhood, once she proved better at something than him. He was jealous of her for earning their father’s interest, for all the good that did her. He was “resentful” when she survived her fall at the Western Air Temple, which is so ugly. He should have been relieved. She thinks of other moments where his hatred for her was apparent, like during the Agni Kai, at the asylum, aaaaand….

 “The night he raped her.” And there it is. She can’t bring herself to see what Ozai did to her as rape, but she views what Zuko did as such.

 “And she couldn’t reconcile it. How the little boy who stood before her could do—” This is a fascinating parallel to Mai’s thoughts about Zuko earlier in the chapter. Neither of them can understand how he did this. I’m reminded of how shocking it is to find out that someone that you know and care about sexually assaulted someone. What do you do afterwards? The safest option is to cut ties with them, but that doesn’t address the difficulty in doing so when they’re your family, or the grief of doing so when you’ve loved them for so long, only to find out that they weren’t who you thought they were.

 Azula starts to ask him why he did what he did, but I think she knows the answer to that—because Zuko hated her and wanted to punish her that night. So instead, Azula asks where this good, caring version of her brother was when she wanted him—which, in the context of this fic, was from the time she was a toddler until now.

 “‘Dad killed me,’ the hallucination said forlornly. ‘And you laughed.’” Ozai destroyed Zuko’s innocence just as much as he destroyed Azula’s.

 I thought this was a reference to Zuko and Ozai’s Agni Kai, but this seems to actually be referring to when Azulon told Ozai to kill Zuko, and Azula’s teasing about it: “Her chest clutched painfully when she remembered that night, the night her mother left. And Azula thought it was cruelly appropriate that it was not Ursa here with her, at the end.” Ouch!

 “She whispered, ‘I didn’t mean it.’”—I believe her, but unfortunately, the real Zuko never realized that.

 The vision version of him does, though. “Azula felt his presence as clearly as if he sat on the edge of her bed, when she pulled the covers over her head.” At some point, Azula was just a little girl who hid under the covers. “‘I know,’ she dimly heard him speak. And the last thing she felt was him hugging her shoulders, his head laid against hers.” This is heartbreaking. It’s an exchange they should have had in reality years ago, but one that they might never be able to have, now they’ve hurt each other so badly. This is one of the scenes that sticks with me the most, because of how tragic it is and how poignant the imagery is: of the tiny, kind version of Zuko hugging the adult version of his sister, who is being eaten away by sickness, grief, and remorse.

 And on that tearjerking note, we have reached the end of chapter fifteen. As always, thank you for the read, Aurelia. Thank you also to the folks on FFN and Tumblr who have been encouraging me to work on these reviews. Your support has been keeping me going!

 Until next time,

WiseAbsol

[words-writ-in-starlight]

the untamed is on netflix, right? i think i've seen it. i'm enjoying your posts about it and my mom would love if i watched a chinese show (it looks chinese, i might be wrong though) but i'm kinda short on time so please pitch to me why i should watch it so i will be convinced and look past the lack fo time

Anonymous asked:

ok the untamed looks cool af how doesone watch it 

A L L R I G H T I’m finally going to make a rec post, I’ve put this off long enough.  You’ve definitely already started to watch it, clever, so please forgive me for using this as an excuse to pitch this show.

So, for starters, Anon, The Untamed is indeed on Netflix!  It is in Chinese!  If you (like me) do not understand Mandarin Chinese, the Netflix English subbing is…fine, it’s fine, but I recommend poking around in the fandom because every single form of address is changed to the character’s full name.  And maybe I just spent too much time doing translations for my old Spanish and Chinese and especially Latin classes, but I think there are some things that, A, shouldn’t be translated or, B, should be translated awkwardly over being translated incoherently.  

I digress.  My thoughts about maintaining forms of address in their native language for the sake of clarifying levels of respect/etc are not relevant here.  Chuck a note in my inbox if/when you get confused about everyone’s three names and I’ll write/link you a guide.

POINT IS.  The Untamed is an adaptation of the novel Mo Dao Zu Shi, which is generally translated as “The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation,” and my quick pitch for it is: There’s a plot, sure sure, it’s the story of Wei Wuxian (his fall from grace to Most Hated Person In Magic!China, and then his resurrection and efforts to solve a murder), and if you like character-driven fantasy narratives you Will Like This

B U T

You know that post “but is he…you know…your narrative foil?”  That’s this show.  If what you crave is “one character committedly pines over another for twenty years even when the entire world hates that person,” please let me interest you in Lan Wangji, the love interest.  They have a kid together.  It’s a great romance.  Literally what else do you want from me.  I love a narrative foil, I love a tragedy, I love an epic love story, I love a found family.  And good GOD do I love a character who self-destructs in an effort to do the right thing.

Wei Wuxian isn’t evil.  He’s not even especially malicious.  But when the chips were down and he needed to survive, and to save people, and to figure something out, he took the only avenue left to him, and it was—it was inevitable, really, that it make him the villain of the piece.  He saved a lot of lives.  Everyone except Lan Wangji hates him for it.  He’s already thoroughly despised by the time he starts actually doing things that are objectively bad.  Talk to me about it forever.

My usual list of free-form associative Things I Like That You Will Probably Also Like under the cut:

Wei Wuxian!  I know he’s the main character but I love him so much that he gets a bullet point!  He’s the kind of lighthearted goofball who’s perfected the “I Would Honestly Die Before Showing Emotion To Anyone, How Dare You Imply That I Am Not Sincere In My Perpetual Good Humor” mask, and it hits like a sledgehammer when that mask cracks.  I would watch this actor flip between smiles and homicidal rage all day.  He gets a hug from Son Boy in the last episode and I almost cried.  50000/10.

Lan Wangji!  A great love interest!  Noble to the core!  Incredibly bitchy!  I want five more just like him!

This is where I mention that China has strict censorship laws, so, despite the fact that they kiss and have sex and get married and the whole nine in the book, the show is all Intense Staring And Love Declarations Where They Never Say The L-Word.  But like.  Please trust me, it’s actually So Romance.  If anything I think I like the  romance in the show better.

Wen Ning!

I don’t have anything else to say about him, I just love him so goddamn much.  He and his sister Wen Qing are stars and the rest of these sinners don’t deserve them.

COMPETENT. VILLAINS.  I’ve spilled a lot of ink on this one lately, but I love competent villainy, I love villains who have Goals and plan to Achieve Them and actually pull it off.  Jin Guangyao, the big bad of the “present”(the part where Wei Wuxian is resurrected and kicking around trying to solve a murder), is actually phenomenally good at his job and I support him even though I enjoyed watching him go down in flames.  There are enough villains in this show for everyone to have their preferred type of villain, from Devoted Right Hand Man to Megalomaniacal Overlord to Freewheeling Engine Of Death.  GREAT villains in this show.  Which brings me to…

YI! CITY! ARC!  I’m not going to tell you that much about it, but it’s dark and tragic and features my very favorite villain in the entire show, Xue Yang, who is just.  *chef kiss*  A horrible monster of a man.  An unapologetic, cold-eyed shriek of a villain.  The very best at what he does, and what he does is absolutely horrible, and I would watch an entire series about this five-ish episode arc.  Also, I’ve adopted Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen from the Tragic Ships Shelter and someone should toss me a headcanon ask for them.  Any AU your little heart desires.  I love them.

THE MAGIC!  I know it took me a long time to get here, but it’s a very character driven show and I am a very character driven person and I just wanted to yell about characters for a minute.  But anyway, I’m told that the Untamed is a great onboarding point for this genre of Chinese fantasy novel, because they do a really good job of making the necessary points accessible.  I had no familiarity with wuxia/xianxia/etc when I started watching this and everything about cultivation made sense to me, or at least enough sense to be going on with.  It’s very lovely and fascinating and it’s where they put their Entire Non-Clothing Budget.

This is where I mention that their effects department clearly used their entire funding for, like, cool sword stunts and beautiful clothing.  The wolf puppet in particular is just.  Almost adorably terrible.  If that’s going to severely impact your enjoyment, Idk what to tell you, man.

Related to the above, I love plotlines about characters losing control of their magic.  That’s all I’m going to say about it.

Unreliable narrators, baby! They set up a lot of concrete facts about Wei Wuxian in the first two episodes that become obvious as complete bullshit as you go on, and it’s very satisfying to watch!  See also, Nie Huaisang, the most unreliable narrator of them all, whom I adore.

Beyond all those things…it’s just got a lot of great relationships in it.  It’s hugely driven by the affection people have for each other, or the places they feel they’vebeen deprived of that affection.  It has a lot of iterations of the same relationship in wildly distinct ways, if that makes sense—offhand, there are maybe four major sets of siblings, five if you count the Jins, and they are all radically different and insanely compelling.  The basic structure of Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, the “black cultivator/white cultivator on a crusade to change the world” thing, appears a lot of times, and goes horribly awry in a slightly different way for all of them.  That kind of in-universe repetition of themes, doing the same thing over and over again looking for the Right Path, is one of my favorite things to appear in a story—see also, the Kencyrath (twins, Dreamweavers, Knorth lords, loyal Kendar, etc), the Animorphs (warrior teams, deaths on the field, etc), any number of other things I yell about.

TL;DR: The story is great and the cultivation is fascinatingand the schemes are elaborate, but

[tired-college-student-writing]

Beautiful Versions of Brokenness pt. 2

Summary: Marinette is different. There was no denying it, but none would have guessed that the true reason was soul deep

Continuation of Prompt: If you're into Black Butler, maybe something with that and Miraculous ladybug? Or Black Butler with Demon Bim? I just think you'd do a good job with the Black Butler characters.

Part 1

____________________________________________

Chat Noir reluctantly left so that Ladybug and Sebastian, shortly after, promised to meet up on the next patrol night so that they could properly discuss their unlikely reunion.

Instead of going home, Marinette leads them to the top of the Eiffel Tower. Parisians are used to seeing their heroine and a black figure at the top of the tower, no one would think twice if she arrived there. Sebastian follows as he always did.

“This isn’t my first life after Ciel then,” She hummed, once she arrived, deciding to deal with the first question on her mind.

“No,” Sebastian agreed, as her timer slowly beeped towards its end, “This is my 37th time meeting you since your contract was created. The 21st time you’ve awoken your Phantomhive memories.”

Her eyebrows rose, “it’s only been 130 years since Ciel died, how have I been reborn 37 times?”

The demon all but scoffed, “Really mistress? All these years with beings of heaven and hell toying with your life and you still believe we are playing by earthly rules?”

Marinette just glared, “You’re telling me Hell lacks linear time then? When I die, my soul just flies to any time period it pleases and becomes whichever child it can find?”

“Precisely,” Sebastian smirks, “There have only been a few rules your soul seems to follow, your eyes remain virtually unchanged, still the strikingly blue and purple hues they have been since our contract was sealed, your hair an inky black and your memories return within a year of the age you took your earldom, thirteen, or not at all. Other than that this is the eighteenth time you’ve taken a female form, fifth where you’ve been of mixed races, tenth of being Asian descent, you’ve been of African descent six times, middle eastern eight, Native American three times. You’ve been of peasantry or slavery six times, on three different continents. Though being enslaved has triggered your memories flawlessly every time and allowed for you to rise in the ranks of society with grace. Sixteen times you’ve been of noble birth in multiple different royal families across the globe. It’s been an adventure each time

“What about Lizzie?” She finally asked,” She never sold her soul, and yet Chat Noir is clearly my fiancé.”

Sebastian frowned, “To be quite honest, she’s never appeared before, or at the very least never awoken. Human souls are not supposed to be reincarnated so quickly, even by heaven’s terms we should not have run into Miss Elizabeth before the 30th century and I’ve never heard of the average reincarnation remembering their memories as vividly as Chat Noir did.”

“Who would know?”

The grimace was fleeting on the demon’s face but Marinette knew what he was getting at.

“The Grim Reapers,” She groaned, “Grell hanging around anywhere?”

“What makes you so certain that pest is still working off their debt?” Sebastian countered

Marinette glared, “Because I’ve seen a shockingly familiar red figure watching the Akuma battles before, but only the ones that might have high casualty counts if we had lost. Plus you’re always aggravated whenever I came back from those types of battles and she was the only one that I know that gets under your skin that badly. If she wasn’t so… open about her desires I would have loved to see her around more.”

The demon sighed, “Observant as always my lady. Grell Sutcliff, William T. Spears, and Ronald Knox have all been given special assignments to follow your reincarnated soul around as they are used to our unique brand of chaos. They are given time off when your soul is inactive, and this works counts as double time for their repayment… containing the destruction left in your wake.”

Marinette hummed, as her time finally wore out a Tikki appeared next to her.

“Sebastian,” Tikki greeted, cooly, drawing a wicked grin on the young girl’s face.

“Miss. Tikki,” He offered with his polite butler smile, the one Marinette knew meant he wasn’t happy, “A pleasure as always.”

“Oh, you’ve met then?” Marinette laughed with twisted glee “I haven’t seen you look so constipated since we had to do those Phoenix poses!”

She could practically hear the teeth grinding behind his forced smile, “I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about Mistress, I think the reincarnation process has scrambled your mind.”

She hummed, cheeky grin not falling as she passed Tikki her emergency cookie, “Either way, we need to plan. Obviously, we can’t play the butler and Earl roles as we once did so we must figure out new roles that we can play, and create a fake hero identity for you if you plan on continuing to help out during Akuma battles.”

The smirk he gave showed off far too many teeth, but instead of unnerving her, it filled her with a sense of comfort, “Allow me to handle everything, mistress. What kind of demon would I be if I couldn’t manage a simple cover story and superhero outfit.”

________________________________________

Marinette awoke the next day to find it starting off horribly. Not only had she overslept without the ever-present tapping on her balcony door Sebastian normally did whenever she slept through her alarm, but as she was rushing she tore her blue contact, only to find it was the last one she had in stock, her new order not set to arrive until later in the week. She decided to give the demon a pass just this once since he most likely was still coming up with proper identification and dwellings for him to stay at now that she required him to be more than just a bird.

Looking in her closet she paused at her normal outfits, plink blossoms, pink jeans, and ballet flats. It just… felt wrong with her new memories of the Earl rattling around her head. She wasn’t unhappy being a woman in this life, still feeling as comfortable as ever in her own skin, but the overly modern and feminine dress just didn’t sit right with Ciel’s memories so fresh in her mind.

Instead, she pulled out a peter pan collared button-down shirt with the collar and large buttons navy against the cream of the rest of the shirt, a forest green western tie clasped in the front. She also pulled on a pair of straight-legged green pants and a navy blazer adding a tan pair of thick heeled ankle boots.  For her final touch, she deep parted her hair, pinning it over her right eye and pulling it back into a bun securing a cream ribbon in a bow around the base of the bun once she was finished. Satisfied she grabbed her bag and took off at a run, bidding her parents goodbye as she attempted to make it class before the bell rang.

She arrived seconds late and found the room reorganized, seats had been moved and the open seat on her normal side of the room was right up next to Adrien. Well, she had to admit her previous actions around him had been overboard in retrospect, and while he was still cute but with Lizzie back in the picture it seemed almost like cheating on her old fianceé.

“Good morning, Adrian,” She greeted, choosing to stand in front of the desk instead of sitting down yet.  

The blonde turned to her and perked up, “Marinette! I’m loving the new look, very Victorian esque”

“Thank you!” She laughed, “I felt like a change, You look great too!”

She could feel the eyebrows around the room go up as she smiled gently at the boy, but it was a good change of pace for him, his usual sneakers, jeans, and T-shirt had been swapped out for shiny dark brown dress shoes, a fitted pair of emerald green pants, with a crisp dark blue shirt tucked in. When he turned she could see a silver lace embroidery cutting a wavy path from his left shoulder to his right hip shimmer. He even wore a simple silver ear cuff to finish off the look.

“I picked it myself,” He preened under the positive attention, “Father usually is so strict about what I wear in public but he said I did well with this one!”

“Well, I have to agree,” She hummed, “You should experiment more often, I’d love to give you critiques now that we’re desk partners.”

“Girl what?” Alya finally interrupted, “That’s not your seat, you’re sitting in the back now.”

She could stop her smile from falling into a stony blank look as she turned around, “Excuse me? Who made that call?”

“Well,”  Nino piped up with a slight weariness at her look, “She’s got hearing issues so we had to put her upfront, to make it work Ivan sat next to Mylène, Nate sat next to Alix, and she came up with the idea of moving me up here, so I could spend more time with my girlfriend.”

Marinette raised a brow making the majority of the room fidget, “Who exactly is she?”  

Before any of them could answer Ms. Bustier opened the door and started her normal classroom announcements, “Good morning, students. I'm sure you've all heard by now, but Lila's home from her trip to Achu and she's back in school with us again.”

The Italian girl all, but bounced into the room to greet everyone, receiving a warm answer back as Marinette’s mouth thinned.

The fox paid her little mind as she pretended to gasp in surprise at the empty seat next to Adrian and started gushing, “Oh, a seat in the front row! You all remembered my hearing issue! You're such sweethearts, all of you!”

Marinette tilted her head, “I didn’t realize you had a hearing issue, Lila.”

Green eyes flashed towards her as she painted on a self-conscious smile, “Oh Yes, I suffer from tinnitus, a constant ringing in my left ear. I've had it ever since the sound of an airplane engine burst my eardrum on the runaway when I was saving Jagged Stone's lost kitten,”

“Really?” Marinette questioned with a raised brow, “Well I am sorry to hear that, but I would like to know why your disability is ranking above my own.”

Lila froze as Bustier paled eyes widening with realization. The room grew silent before Kim slapped the desk, “Oh my god, we forgot Marinette can’t see!”

She laughed, shaking her head, “I’m not blind Kim,”

He waved her off, “You know what I mean.”

Nino groaned, slinking down, “You aren’t even wearing your contacts today!”

“I ripped one this morning,” She sighed in explanation, “My replacements aren’t coming until Wednesday. So I really can’t sit in the back of the room even if I wanted to.”

Alya’s face scrunched, “I’m missing something,”

Marinette stared up at her unblinkingly, “I have a severe vision problem that causes me issues with depth perception and distance, especially if I’m not wearing my contacts. As noted by my doctor I need to be sitting within the first two rows of the classroom, and to have a seat partner is willing to give me notes that I may have missed if my vision acts up. It has been on file since I was six years old.”

“Ivan and I can move to the back,” Mylene offered quickly, “I’m sorry for forgetting Marinette!”

She offered a soft smile, “It really is no issue, as long as it gets sorted.  While I must admit I believe the origin of Lila’s disability is fabricated, I am sympathetic to her for having said disability, but I refuse to not have my accommodations met just for someone else’s to be met.”

“Fabricated!” Lila gasped tears welling in her eyes, “How mean! You don’t like me, do you! You’re trying to make me look bad and have a hard time due to my disability!”

The ice that entered Marinette’s eye before she turned to the Italian girl sent a shiver down the class's spine, causing Chloe to shrink back and Adrian to sit up stick straight. Marinette felt an odd calm fall over her as the Phantomhive came out to play.

“You claim that you received hearing damage from being too close to an airplane because you ran onto an active runway to save Jagged Stone’s kitten from a jet preparing to take off,” Marinette repeated slowly, “ Not only does Jagged Stone despise cats, but he’s despised them since he was a child after one attacked and killed his parakeet, Juniper. This is an easy fact to look up as he’s mentioned it several times in multiple interviews. The pet he currently owns and has owned for almost twenty years now, is Fang, a freshwater crocodile that Jagged hatched himself. No one is stupid enough to forget the animal they heroically saved from a vehicle that’s accelerating an average of 32 meters per second squared, wasn’t even a mammal when I know that Fang weighs almost 200kg.”

Lila tried to break in but Marinette just straightened her back, and crossed her leg at the knee before continuing, “Furthermore, no airport in this day and age would allow for a teenage girl to make it to the runways where a plane was taking off without being tackled by security, nor do I believe that your mother, a diplomat, would be moronic enough to allow you to be placed in that much danger. If it did happen there would no doubt be multiple stories run by the media about it, internationally so since Jagged Stone is such a big name and you are the daughter of a diplomat, this would not be the first we would be hearing it.”

Marinette grimaced as she moved onto the next point, not even paying mind to the sputtering Lila was doing, “Based on these facts I’m going to assume the claims that he wrote a personal song for you that have been bouncing around are also false as if they’re not it does not paint a good picture that a famous man in his forties is writing and dedicating songs for you, a young teen fan. If these accusations were true, I'd be forced to believe that Jagged Stone is a hebephile or at the very least grooming you.”

Marinette simply crossed her arms as the room grew deathly silent, “Lastly, nothing suggests that sitting closer to the front of the room helps tinnitus, as the persistent ringing would not change and make little difference in a room this small. Most students with tinnitus require the student being given the option to move to a quieter location if the condition is triggered during class, groups the student is working with being given the option to move to a different area in case group work gets too loud during group activities and being placed near a low-level sound, such a small fan, computer, a heating element, or an open window, as complete silence can irritate the issue. I did enough research when helping Aurora fight for proper accommodations made in her own classroom on the subject to know that much. Or as by the way you are dressed and the fact you claim to have spent the last few months traveling the world, your family clearly has money so buying one of the many options of hearing aid out that that has been developed to assist and almost eliminate tinnitus would be overly easy. They sell them for around 270€, fairly cheap for accommodation products, and if your family truly took you on trips across the globe then you can’t convince me they don’t love you enough to shell out a few hundred euros to make your life easier. So tell me again why I’m making a big deal about making sure my own disability is taken care of?”

Lila sputtered, before bursting into tears, “I was too embarrassed to tell you the real reason! I didn’t want you guys to think less of me for taking a break with Prince Ali to go see a concert, I didn’t mean to get so close to the amps but… the hearing loss is so new I’m still adjusting”  

Marinette glared at her, “Save the tears. Lies are pathetic tools to use and earn you no lasting loyalty, and to accuse someone of being ableist for questioning the origin of your disability, not even the disability itself is vile. Not a single person in this room would have been upset at you if you told the truth instead of tried to force the issue of fake heroics.”

She sniffled, “I’m sorry Marinette, I didn’t mean to make accusations about you or your character. I’m still on edge from the whole situation…”

Marinette let her glare drop and gave a cool, “It’s forgiven this time, now can we please figure out the seating situation?”

“Well,” the teacher stepped in, “Since Adrian agreed to be Lila’s tutor to help her catch up-”

“Actually, Miss Bustier,” Adrian raised his hand sheepishly, “I was going to bring it up with you later in private, but I really don’t think I’d be a good option to tutor Lila given how full and sporadic my schedule is already, I really would hate for her to fall enough further behind.”

“Oh crap,” Alix swore, “We didn’t even think of that when Lila suggested you!”  

Adrian just gave a slight shrug, eyes not looking up from his desk, “It’s okay, I do want to help out the class as much as possible, I feel bad never being able to help out with anything after school.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Kim brushed off, “We get your dad is really on you about everything, we’ll just have to find stuff you can do in class instead!”

“Maybe,” Mylene squirmed a little in her seat as everyone turned to face her, “I mean just a suggestion… but maybe Adrian could be Marinette’s seat partner and help her take notes. You rarely miss actual class time for your activities and this way you’re helping out without committing to any extra time that your dad might not let you come for.”

Bustier clapped, a blinding smile on her face, completely missing how Lila’s face had twisted into an angry mask, “Excellent idea! Let’s all find new seats again, Marinette and Adrian stick together in the first two rows, Lila why don’t you sit on the left side of the classroom by the windows to see if that helps your tinnitus for now. I’ll call your mother in for a proper evaluation over the next few days and we’ll find a proper course to deal with your disability. If someone would like to volunteer to be Lila’s primary tutor please take the seat next to her. Everyone else please fill in!”

Slowly the room began shifting once again. Adrien and Marinette simply switched seats to allow her to better see the room as Alya, Nino, Chloe, Sabrina, Rose, Juleka, and Nathaniel stayed in their same seats. Ivan and Mylene did move to the back row together as Max broke away from Kim to sit in the second row next to where Lila ended up and Alix slid across the aisle to take his old spot.

Alya was still looking at Marinette as if she had three heads, “Girl, what on earth was that? You’re like sunshine personified, but you just tore Lila apart like she was tissue paper.”

Nino huffed a slight laugh, “Keep forgetting you’ve only been in the class for a year, babe. You’ve never seen a Marinette takedown before.”

Marinette smiled, “Do not lie and do not do anything that might have permanent consequences. If they can not follow those two simple objectives in my presence then I will gladly set them straight. Lila not only lied but accused me of being a bigot, I will not tolerate slander.”

“Well I think it was badass,” Adrian commented, causing her to smirk wickedly.

“Thank you. It’s always nice to know my skills are appreciated.”  

“Oh do you need any notes from the last few days,” Adrian asked suddenly, sliding his notebook between them as the lesson started.  

She gazed down idly, “Not that I can think of but thank-”

Marinette had to keep her eyes from bulging as her words faded off, because in the middle of the page, squished between two facts about the Roman empire stood a simple sentence in perfect English.

I didn’t think I would see you until tonight, Ciel.

“How on earth were we this blind,” Marinette mumbled in English, earning a laugh from his once betrothed.

“Excuse me?”

The pairs heads snap towards the door as a worryingly familiar voice sounds through the room.

There in the doorway was a tall teen with shaggy raven hair as he sheepishly held out a paper towards the teacher, “Are you, Miss. Bustier? There seemed to be a mix up with my transfer papers. Mr. Damocles told me just to head down and you should have all of my forms by tomorrow, but he didn’t want to prevent me from starting today as planned.”

“Oh I hadn’t realized I was getting a new student today,” She apologized, taking the paper and skimming it briefly before turning to the room, “Class it looks like we’re getting another new face today! I want you all to welcome him with open arms! This is-”

He was shorter, a little lankier and with a rounder face then they typically saw him, looking every bit the fourteen year old he was in no doubt playing, but there was no doubt who it was.

“Sebastian,” The demon introduced, mirth dancing in those burgundy depths as he grinned up at the reincarnated duo, “Sebastian Michaelis. I look forward to joining your class.”

___________________________________

Tag List: @lividdreams9

[prairiedust]

Gimme Shelter livewatch under the cut.... I was on my phone when I wrote it so apologies for the typos

“Patchwork Community Center: Care Given to All” with a huge, lurid heart. Hmmm.... patchwork having two meanings here.....

Pastor (?) has 2 Timothy 2:22 tattooed on his arm! “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (NIV) Are we looking at growth and found family in this episode?!?

Oh that’s the alleyway!

Hitting mythology themes— Connor is an Anglicized version of an Irish name— Conchobar mac Nessa is maybe the most famous bearer of the name, from Irish mythology— he’s the king who lusted after Deirdre and had her locked up until she came of age, which is probably neither here nor there as far as this poor Connor is concerned...

That thing has a big lurid heart on his overalls better run lol— Oh shit it’s an evil Teddy Ruxpin!!!! Thanks Davy Perez!!!!

That’s the thing animal control uses to manage aggressive animals??? Is this saying something about the Patchwork people?

And that’s it for the cold open.

——

The uh, the mcfuckin what, the Camelot Palace Casino? Is this a tour of the legends of Ireland and Britain all of a sudden? What’s with hitting this theme so hard so fast?

Uh-oh the whole Highway to Heaven reference has me side-eyeing Dean’s suggestion for Cas snd Jack to leave the bunker... Dabb even “spoiled” that line in a tweet lol... in that show the cop and the angel got their (vague) assignments from the big guy.......

Oh SHIT “we’re standing in what I call ‘the trap zone’” Perez is coming for my whole life with this episode!!!! And they’re doing highkey “season one totally-normal Winchester investigation questions script” I love it!!!!

“Slasher flick” Oh we’re revisiting Mint Condition. This is fine.

AND TOMBSTONE THIS IS NOT FINE DAVY! We’re running the good times backwards what did I say about this being the flipside of Last Holiday!

H2H again but this time it’s sus... plus I’m with Zack, I totally want the cozy murder spinoff I imagined Adam and Michael doing plz

Oh the Cas and Jack dynamic here is so sweet.

Pastor just leaving his door open like there’s no such thing as a thief bless his heart. They must be torn up about Connor but Pastor was the last one to talk to him so he’s sus I don’t make the rules.

Oh no Red’s a THIEF!!! Who ever would have guessed. Okay I did NOT expect that jumpscare because of the way Connor’s murder primed me, that was masterfully done.

That’s vaguely an Ohio Star quilt square on the sign behind her except um I forget what that tilted square in the center turns it into? It’s chiming with something... I’ll have to look that up later.

“Divide and conquer” no never split up in a slasher movie that’s how you get murders use the buddy system!

Gonna stop a sec because I just realized that Zack is two-faced. The British dandy was an act. The killer is wearing a Cinderella mask. Ok I’m gonna make a prediction that Zack is actually the killer, a la the demon in Repo Man...

Okay there was definitely a beat after Dean said “Glad soneone’s taking charge” [ofHell] and the focus shifted to Sam. Hm.

“We’ve got to set her up for her own death” so meta, these writers are gonna shred us.

I love being shown how much Castiel has changed throughe Jack not understanding the Kool-Aid reference. And the cats line lol. That’s both amazing and poignant.

That’s a log cabin pattern in the cafeteria. Home. Makes me think back on other quilts we’ve seen this season and if “weaving” is the right metaphor for writing lol. I mean, the action of “patching” is synonymous with “mending” or even healing, but patchwork is also a craft with a long, long history in America (idk if quiltmaking is called patchwork everywhere) of taking a few often mismatched fabrics and cutting and sewing into something beautiful. There are generally two kinds of quilt tops— patterns, like we’ve seen so far in this season, which are carefully planned and involve precise measurements, and “crazy quilts” which also require skill but are often more freeform and piecemeal. But both aspire to be beautiful. That’s an interesting way to conceptualize a serial text... as both creating and mending....

That prayer was sweet and not at all what I was expecting.

I get the finger-cutting for Valerie (stealing=sticky fingers) but not for Connor? Tenuous connection still betw lying and writing? It’s evocative of Se7en but the killer seems to have the same MO for all the killings (I attended CSI for a while.)

Snow White is making me uneasy. Oh she’s the preacher’s daughter... we’ve seen that in early days, too.... oh.... oh....

It’s not the AV guy despite having seen all the AV equipment around Valerie. That’s too easy.

“A saint is a sinner who keeps trying-“ no scroll back, the important part was “we all have to take care of each other.” That’s a theme in the series.

She’s all in pink....

dean and amara on the same wavelength about food lol

Ha ha inversion of “oh you’re a fan of religion? name all seven gods then.”

Castiel’s testimony just wrecked me.

“Members serve the gift of food” hmmm the signs in this episode are tip-top

Gonna just watch for a while.

Oh crap “each is a finger” oh it’s about the sins of the father— No Cas no, you’ve fallen for the misdirection!

Oh okay good, Chuck’s not done snuffing worlds. That had me REALLY WORKED UP ha ha because Amara has no reason to lie right?

That was a really good conversation.... and implying that Former Death bent the truth...

Oh fuck I’m gonna cry “I wanted younto see that your mother was just a person” YES! DISMANTLE THIS MYTHOLOGY AMARA!!! Name it!

THE MYTH THAT YOU’D HELD ON TO FOR SO LONG did they just— THEY DID

rigging the game— ftfoh with the casino metaphors already we know the house always wins except when it doesn’t

Lying, lying, lying,

Do we even know Snow White’s name yet? And why was Connor a liar? Because I think we can make a guess at this point.... ah ha ha her name is sylvia— “forest spirit” she’s Mrs Butters— and she’s after hypocrites— but the killing isn’t supernatural, just churchy?

Oh shit SHE IS A DEAN MIRROR IF SHE STABS JACK I’LL FLIP A DAMN TABLE

....

....

prairiedust.exe has encountered an error and must be restarted

....

....

Okay so “Dad” steps in and stops Sylvia’s attack on Jack...

Why is that Zack? What????

“I’ve been lying to you” oh here we go

Oh it would be death #3, remember what Dabb said about threes a long time ago, two attempts that are unsuccessful and one that satisfies the parameters— but no he’s a jack :((((

I have to stop watching for a while.

Okay I finished it. Holy cats do I have some Thoughts about this episode.

What I loved: Revisiting Dean’s anger, BUT the parental mirror here (in retrospect, at least for me) was a John mirror-- all the mothers (exc for Rowena) in this episode are dead. And Pastor Joe didn’t apparently embrace his wife’s faith until she had died, and then his vision was radically different than his wife’s was-- much like John’s reasons for becoming a hunter were vastly different from Mary’s... but much like “patching” this subtext was possibly even more “healing” than having John back in the 300th ep... This was... looking at a child’s anger when they’re in the middle of their own family mythology. Am I implying that Dean’s anger is immaturity? Eh, it’s... unripeness. I have an old meta in my drafts about the heroine’s journey and why Mary’s story conformed to it while feeling totally unfulfilling in her actual character arc and I’m so glad I sat down and examined that rather than finish it. I have a lot I want to say about Cas’ testimony too, but that has to sit a while. ALSO also, Cas has already thrown away his shot by making the Empty deal, right?....

LANGUAGE! Cas saying “I found myself lost” is a bonkers sentence, right? It’s like when people say someone “turned up missing”-- AND it does not have the same meaning as “I realized I was lost”-- you get a double whammy of the connotation “to search for.” I loved loved loved how language was such a big deal in Last Holiday and then again here, I need to rewatch while paying closer attention to Sylvia and things she says... but these two were sister episodes in so many ways, that when I said there was a “lack of narrative mirrors” in Last Holiday, that’s only because the lens for that kind of reading is Gimme Shelter. That is not the first time spn has played with a “coin” or paired structure-- I think the first time I noticed it was Fan Fiction/Ask Jeeves but I was a transfer student from another fandom at the time lol. But of course, we get a huge truth bomb at the end of the episode, and again that splashy cymbal all over lying...

What I got wrong-- Zack wasn’t the killer but he’s fishy as hell-- he stole Sylvia! Is this part of Rowena’s “people generally end up where they deserve to be” except she’s built in an express lane? “Do you need a driver” is that his actual job now? Taking unripe souls to Hell Orientation? What’s up with him being there... the other shoe did not drop. So there is a third episode out there somewhere where this might get wrapped up? The conversation between Dean and Cas can easily be something that happens offscreen, and I don’t think that it would be the first time we miss an “important” conversation, especially since we know roughly what will be said and how it will wrap up-- it’s an “open text” of a sort. Maybe a fanfiction gap lol, I can’t wait for the codas.

Also, the fingers thing being Sylvia’s father’s favorite analogy is where she got her MO, something that I definitely didn’t see, although it fits right in with her father’s slightly pithy character. I think it’s interesting again how we’re playing with threes and fours. Three fingers got cut off but it was apparent that Valerie (valorious one) wouldn’t die until finger #4.... Jack really seems to be our last hope.

[daemour]

Wisteria

Part of the Luv Library project - Fantasy.

Pairing: ����!Seokjin x 🦄!Reader

Fantasy AU, Angst, Fluff, Dark magic

Summary: Unicorns aren't all rainbows and sunshine. When you are banished from the 🦄 Kingdom, a 🐉, unicorns' mortal enemy, takes you in. He's different. He's willing to help you. But the time to help you is running out and the 🐉 👑 is looking for you.

Warning: Death, dark magic, Latin cursing

—

You have been in this forest for far too long. The hairs on the back of your neck are standing up. The wind whistles in your ears, and suddenly you hear a loud puff of air. You whip around, and standing in front of you is a young man leaning against a tree, with unmistakeable wings and horns. He is a dragon. You are in the Dragon Kingdom. "What's a unicorn doing here?" He asks, a smile growing on his face.

You hold your head high, as your mother always taught you. "I have wandered into your kingdom by accident. If you could please tell me the way out, I will gladly leave." The dragon smiles wider, the right side of his mouth pulling up higher.

 "Unicorns are overly careful. I doubt your parents or any other unicorn would allow you to go into your worst enemies' territory," he whispers, "so why are you in here?"

 You swallow. "I do not think I need to explain myself to you." You stiffen as he stands up straight, smile vanishing. He stalks forward until he has you backed up against a tree and leans down, hot breath fanning your face.

 "I won't ask you again."

 "I was banished." The words fall from your mouth, fear causing the words to come out. "Please let me go."

 The dragon glares at you, and you can feel his anger in the heat in the air surrounding him. "Banished? Hard to believe the Queen would banish a unicorn." He makes no move to back away.

 You tilt your head to the side to avoid having to look at him. "The Queen makes her own decisions, regardless of what others may believe," you murmur. The dragon makes a noise of surprise.

 "Where will you go if I show you the way out?" You look up in surprise at his question.

 "I presume to the Peacelands. There, the other creatures may not touch me." The Peacelands are where all the kingdoms gather for meetings. No harm may come to those who are in the Peacelands, for that is the ancient command the guardians of the lands set.

 "Why not go to the faeries or the elves? Surely they will be kind to you." You hold back a bitter laugh.

 "The Queen holds much power, even over those not under her rule." The short answer leaves the dragon stunned.

 "You speak of the Queen stiffly, yet all the others love her." The dragon speaks thoughtfully.

 "I know her nature better than others." You sigh.

 "How so? Are you her advisor? I don't think I've seen you whenever she came to visit." The innocent question makes your heart sting.

 "I am her child." The dragon takes a step back in shock, and you quickly create distance.

 "The Queen banished her only child? For what reason?"

 "That is between the Queen and myself." As the dragon opens his mouth to protest, you start to walk away.

 "What's around your neck?" You touch your neck, feeling the necklace around it.

 "It is provided to all the exiled." The dragon waits for more explanation, and you give it to him hesitantly. "The council allows for the exiled to call for help."

 "Has anyone called for help?"

 "No, since I am the first to be exiled." The dragon stops in his tracks towards you, and you start walking a little faster.

 "You are headed for the center of the kingdom." His words surprise you. Why is a dragon helping you? You sound those thoughts. "I feel sorry for you."

 "Please tell me the way out." You request, and the dragon smiles, this time much less sinisterly than the first.

 "I would advise you do not travel there immediately. The way to the Peacelands from here goes through goblin territory." You shudder. Goblins are wretched creatures, who only work for their gain. They break the Peaceland laws the most often. "You cannot fly, so the journey would be treacherous, even for a unicorn."

 You sigh. "Then I must go to the Dires." The Dires were similar to the Peacelands. However, they have no rules, and demons dwell there.

 The dragon shakes his head. "No. I do not wish such a fate upon you. The goblins leave their land in three months. That is when you can travel across. You may stay with me until then."

 You narrow your eyes. "I do not trust you."

 The dragon huffs, and you can see little flames flickering in his throat. "I will make an arcane bond with you." You consider the idea. An arcane bond is where both parties agree on each of their three terms they must satisfy. If one party harms or betrays the other, the offending party dies.

 "State your terms, and I will then answer," You offer.

 "I'll hide you at my home until you leave for the peacelands. I will travel with you. I will make sure no one harms you while you are in my abode." You agree and announce your terms.

 "I will not use my necklace to call the unicorns while I am with you. I will not use my magic on you. If I am caught by dragons, I will not speak of you." The dragon agrees, and you both shake hands to confirm the bond. As soon as you do, indigo magic flashes around you two to show the deal is in place.

 "Let us exchange names. I am Kim Seokjin, but you may call me Jin."

 "I am..." Unicorns are given a name that allows them their magic. If one knows that name, they can summon the unicorn, similar to demons. You cannot give him your name. "...(Y/N)."

 Jin nods, and you two set off towards his home.

 —

 You had not expected the dragon's home to be in the side of a mountain. You had not expected there to be a mountain in the Dragon Kingdom. And yet, here you were, exactly where you thought you would never be in. "Your room is ready, (Y/N)," Jin calls out as he goes down the stairs, "I'll show you where it is."

 "Thank you."

 The room Seokjin had prepared was most definitely a guest room. There was a tacky "Be My Guest" sign above the bed. "That is an interesting sign." You comment, and Jin beams.

 "Isn't it? One of my friends made it for me." You did not expect him to take your comment to heart.

 "How very kind of them."

 "Yes, Jimin is one of the few who likes my jokes. But enough about me! We must get you some clothes!"

 "Oh, no need," you say quickly, "my bag is right here." You bring your bag out with a blast of magic from your horn.

 "Oh," Seokjin says, slightly disappointed. "I like clothes shopping."

 You feel bad. "We can go shopping if you desire." Seokjin perks right up, a big smile on his face again.

 "Perfect! I'll go call my friend immediately. He is amazing at disguise magic. We can easily help you hide among dragons as a dragon."

 You nod slowly. "All right." You agree, not wanting to disappoint him.

 Seokjin's smile gets even wider if that was possible. "I'll go make some dinner. Would you like to join me in the kitchen?"

 It would be good to know which rooms were which, but you didn't want to be near the dragon for extended amounts of time. "If it is alright, may I just walk around and get accustomed to your home?"

 Seokjin nods. "That's fine. Make yourself at home. If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen, which is the room to the left of the stairwell."

 You nod slowly, and when he leaves, you hold your breath for a little bit, waiting to hear if his footsteps recede. Once it does, you look out the window. It faces the peacelands, which is nice, you suppose. The peacelands have always been a sight to behold. They were surrounded by purple gladiolas and white snapdragons, and inside the ring of flowers were glittering pools with cerulean water so clear you could see the bottom. A magnificent royal poinciana stands in the center of the peacelands and casts shade over the closest pools. Japanese wisteria are scattered across the land as well. You were lucky to visit once or twice during your six hundred years of life.

 As much as the rest of the peacelands were beautiful, the wisterias are your favorite parts. You had read once, in your mother's vast library, that wisterias stand for long-life and immortality. In the Kingdom of the Yokai, the symbolism for the wisteria is love, support, sensitivity, tenderness, and bliss. The yokai were one of the kingdoms you had considered going to, as you were good friends with their prince, Yuta. Unfortunately, you had written to him to ask, and he had denied kindly, saying that the relationship between the unicorns and the yokai is damaged a little. He offered that to take you in when peace had returned between the two kingdoms. You told him you would think about it, as you were planning on heading to the peacelands.

 Turning away from the window and exiting your room, you start to wander through the halls. As you walk, you realize how big dragons really are. Now, unicorns are by no means small creatures, as you were almost two meters, but this dragon seemed to be a half-meter taller than you. You knew stories from your mother of the king dragon being four meters tall, and you shuddered. "Are you alright?" You jumped. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

 You turned around to face Seokjin. "It is quite alright. Can I help you?"

 "I wanted to let you know dinner is ready. I can take you to the dining room if you wish." You nod, and he heads down the hall, opposite of where you were going.

 —

 You eat your dinner in silence until Seokjin breaks the quiet. "Why are your eyes so shiny?" You glance up, and Seokjin's ears turn red as his embarrassment heats the room. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

 You smile. "It is fine. It is a unicorn thing."

 Seokjin pauses. "I was...that's a thing?" He seems shocked, and you chuckle.

 "Yes. All unicorns are born with features that befit them, just like how dragons have wings and horns. Unicorns have sparkly eyes and horns."

 Seokjin nods, and the silence returns. You quickly finish your meal. "Thank you for the meal. Would you like me to put the dishes somewhere?"

 "Oh, I'm finished as well. I can show the kitchen since the dishes go there anyway." You nod, carefully stacking your plates. "It's this way."

 He takes you through an oak door, and the kitchen is there. You didn't know the kitchen was connected to the dining room. Maybe castles are different from caves. "This is the sink for dishes, right?" You gesture towards a ceramic sink. "Or is it this one?" You point to the metal one. "Why do you have two sinks?"

 "Oh, I used to have a housemate. We argued so much we each had our own separate things. The ceramic sink is the dish sink since he moved out." Seokjin places his dishes in the sink, and you follow suit.

 "What is the other sink for, then?" You're curious. You don't think you've ever seen more than one sink. Then again, your mother never allowed you into the kitchen, and you only had your bathroom sink to use.

 "It's for my pottery." Your eyebrows raise, and Seokjin grins. "I bet you didn't expect a dragon to do pottery!"

 "May I see your pottery?" Seokjin's beaming smile makes your own smile show up. His smile is contagious, you decide.

 "Yep! Here's where I keep them!" Jin opens a large door, and inside are shelves upon shelves of pottery. You stand there in shock.

 "That is a lot of pottery," you say dumbfoundedly, "so I assume you like it."

 Seokjin laughs a big belly laugh. "I mean, yeah. I do. It was always a hobby of mine. My favorite part is baking the clay, especially since I can do that myself easily," he explains with a smile. He pulls off one of his figurines, an extremely tall, bumpy statue, and hands it to you. "This was my first work. I'm not sure what it is myself."

 You stare at it. "It is very nice," you say after a long pause. "It is quite unconventional."

 Seokjin smiles proudly. "Thank you. You should've seen my first attempt! It was much taller, but I accidentally broke half of it off." He chuckles, and you nod awkwardly.

 "I don't think it is a good idea for me to be in the room any longer. I am unsure if I will knock anything over by accident." You say worriedly, standing as still as a statue. You did have a tendency to break things, a habit that had got you into endless trouble as a teenager.

 Jin looked over for a second and softened at the sight of you looking so stiff. "It's alright. Some of this pottery is really ugly. Do you want to go back to your room and unpack?"

 "Yes, thank you." You smile at him, and he smiles back. His smile is a little crooked, you note.

 —

 "(Y/N)?" Seokjin poked his head through your door and waited for you to acknowledge him before continuing. "My friend is here to help disguise you."

 You stand from your bed and brush the wrinkles out of your clothes. "Alright. Lead the way." Seokjin laughs at your choice of words but says nothing else, only walking down the hall. His legs are long, so you have trouble keeping up.

 At the bottom of the stairwell leading to the foyer, you see a young man. His features are similar to a unicorns; smooth, pretty, and delicate. "Hello," you greet him carefully.

 "Oh wow, you're pretty," the words slip out of the stranger's mouth, and he claps his hands over his mouth. "Sorry," he mumbles through his hands.

 You smile at him. "It is alright. I am (Y/N)." The pretty dragon sticks his hand out for you to shake, and you do so.

 "So I'm here do disguise you, right?" Jimin confirms, and you nod.

 "Yes. I've heard you're good at magic. I was not aware dragons could perform transformation magic." You say, and Jimin nods.

 "It's true. I can do it because I'm half-elf." The revelation shocks you a little, but he didn't look like a traditional dragon.

 "You do look quite pretty and delicate to be a full-blown dragon." Jimin laughs, and Seokjin jumps in with a scoff.

 "Excuse me, I'm a full dragon, and I'm pretty too!" You laugh again, and Seokjin's friend pokes fun.

 "Nah, you're not. Anyways, (Y/N), where are you from?" He ignores Seokjin growl, and you do so too.

 "I am from Falgeva." You name the royal capital of the Unicorn Kingdom, and Jimin's jaw drops.

 "You're from the royal capital?" You squirm a little, and Seokjin notices.

 "Hey, Jimin, I know this is so cool that I have a friend, but we gotta do that disguise." Jimin nods.

 "Sorry, I got too excited," Jimin says, and quickly gives you a once-over. "You'll be easy to work with. You've got the look of a dragon."

 You raise an eyebrow. "Ah, yes. With my unicorn horn, I look just like a dragon." Jimin and Seokjin collapse into giggles, and you sigh. "Are we going this or not?"

 The two straighten up. "Yes, yes, of course," Jimin mutters and begins the incantation for the spell. It's strange, though. Most transformation spells are harmless, but this one hurts. It feels like something is pulsing through your back and burning you from the inside out.

 "What are you doing?" Seokjin worries and Jimin's eyes widen.

 "I don't know," Jimin screams over the whirling wind that had appeared. "Deodamnatus, Jin, my elven magic is getting contaminated by dragons' natural dark magic. You need to get help."

 You start to fret. "What is going on? Seokjin? Jimin?" As you speak, you can see the dark magic rising out of the ground. "Jimin, please stop the spell."

 "I can't." You hear Jimin's sorrowful tone in his voice.

 "What do you mean, you can't?" You're really starting to panic now. "Just cut off the magic source, in that case, your incantation."

 "No, I really can't. This is a rare occurrence, but when my dark magic mixes into my elven magic, it gets uncontrollable." Jimin regrets all his decisions. "We need an elf to save me."

 You want to cry but now is not the time. You start to summon magic from your core. "(Y/N), unicorn magic isn't elven magic. It won't work."

 "I am aware, thank you." You don't mean to sound sarcastic. "I am calling an elven friend of mine." And with a pop, you manage to summon Jeonghan, the king of the Elves, and your once-betrothed.

 "Futue te ipsi, (Y/N), I was showering!" Oh. You just summoned a naked elf into the hall of a dragon. "What the fuck are you-" You assume he sees the dragons, as the black magic had covered your vision.

 "Please explain quickly, Jimin. I don't have much time left." You holler. Jimin starts talking to Jeonghan, and you wring your hands. You can hear Seokjin screaming.

 "I swear to God Seokjin stop screaming! Puto vos esse molestissimos." That doesn't sound like Jimin. It's Jeonghan. How does he know Seokjin?

 You cannot linger on your thoughts, as you can hear Jeonghan and Seokjin murmuring the reverse incantation for this hell show. Jimin didn't take part as he would have made the situation worse.

 The magic swirling around you simmers down, and the pain in your back recedes. You can still feel pulsing, but the pain is almost gone. You look at Jeonghan for the first time in a very long time. "Hello, Jeonghan."

 "Hello, (Y/N). Please explain why you are here." And so, you do.

 —

 "You are an idiot." Jeonghan scolded you. After the ordeal was over, the group moved to the couch to explain everything.

 "I know." Not how you expected the conversation to turn out, but it didn't come with too much scolding, so you're happy. "I am also sorry for summoning you when you were naked."

 Jeonghan scoffed while sitting on Seokjin's couch. He was no longer naked, thank the guardians, as Seokjin had lent him some clothes. They were the same height, but Seokjin's shoulders were much broader, so his shirt hung off Jeonghan, causing him to appear small and dainty. "Why have you not come to my kingdom? I could have helped you." He seemed a lot less angry now and more hurt. Your heart ached.

 "I did not want to be the cause of a rift between you and the unicorns, Jeonghan." Jeonghan scoffed.

 "Your mother is powerful, but not that powerful." You shudder.

 "Jeonghan, please do not argue with me on this. Trust me, I know how powerful she is."

 "Wait, wait, wait, hold up for a second." Ah, yes. You forgot Jimin was there. "You're the daughter of the freaking Empress of the Unicorns?"

 "Yes." You confirm, and Jimin becomes much paler.

 "You're the unicorn the Dragon King was talking about?"

 "What?" you inquire. This is news to you, Seokjin, and Jeonghan. "The Dragon King is looking for me?"

 Jimin nods emphatically. "Yes. There was a goblin who saw you enter this forest, and he went and told his king. In turn, his king told the Dragon King." You want to cry, but Jimin wasn't finished. "The Dragon King wants to capture you so that you may be held hostage against the Unicorn Kingdom."

 "But you are banished. Does the king know that?" You shake your head at Jeonghan's question.

 "My mother is too proud to tell anyone that her daughter is no longer of the Unicorns."

 "She told me, though."

 "I was engaged to you," you say, with a sigh, and Seokjin and Jimin's mouths drop.

 "You? Engaged to Jeonghan?" You nod once again.

 "Yes, I did just say that."

 "But how?"

 "Once upon a time, there was a queen. She ruled over the unicorns." You begin your tale, and Jeonghan nods along. "She craved power." Jeonghan opens his mouth to protest, but you cut him off gently. "Please let me finish, Jeonghan."

 "When I was born, my mother murdered my father so that she wouldn't have to share the throne. When I was old enough, I became betrothed to you, Jeonghan. My mother planned to kill your father. She would have gotten control of the kingdom, as we would have been too young to rule." Jeonghan's mouth dropped open.

 "That is why you got exiled and cut off your engagement?"

 "I refused to go along with her plan," you explained. "When your father died, she wanted an earlier marriage. The marriage would have been in four years, so you would have had time to adjust to the role of Elven King before she could manipulate you."

 Jeonghan nods. "I see. That is the reason your mother asked if I would like to marry her instead."

 "What?" You stood from the couch, shellshocked. "She did what?"

 "I said no." Jeonghan hurries to reassure you. "She graciously accepted, but I have received no other response from her." You look ready to throw up.

 "Jeonghan, I do not know what she's planning," you state slowly, "but you need to go home and make sure to keep an eye on the Unicorn Kingdom."

 Jeonghan nods. "(Y/N), there will always be a home for you at the Elven Kingdom," he offers, before leaving with a spell.

 Now that the Jeonghan issue is over, you turn to Seokjin and Jimin. "I am sorry." You move into a deep bow as you apologize. "I have caused unnecessary trouble for you."

 Seokjin stands, but Jimin speaks before he can. "There's so much trouble now! It's not unnecessary trouble, as Jin brought this upon himself, but he is the Dragon King's son. This makes everything more complicated." Seokjin groans and falls back into his chair.

 "You are the King's son?" Seokjin nods miserably, and you feel anger pulsing through your body. How strange. "Why have you not told me?"

 "I didn't think it was needed."

 "Not needed? Who do you think you are? Some god? The dragons and the unicorns have been enemies ever since the sun and moon came into existence. And you thought you would not tell me that your father is the man whom my race all hates?"

 "You've been exiled by your own mother! What are you going to do about it? You're pretty much not a unicorn anymore. Just a human with a fancy horn." You stand there, silently fuming. Seokjin realizes his mistake. "Wait, (Y/N), I-" You raise a hand to silence him.

 "I was wrong about you. You are not a kind dragon. You are not a helpful dragon. Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare." Your mouth slams shut at the pain that presses against your back, and you want to die. "What is happening to me?"

 Jimin looks up, worried. "What do you mean?" He jumps in.

 "I think I have been cursed."

 "That can't be possible." Seokjin interrupts angrily. "If it did happen, then the arcane bond would have broken, as someone had harmed you in my home." You pause.

 "Then what could have happened?"

 Jimin looks on as you and Seokjin compete in a glaring match. "Maybe it was your friend, Jeonghan," Seokjin spits.

 "He wouldn't do that," you fire back. "We've been friends since childhood."

 Seokjin rolls his eyes so hard, they almost popped out of his skull. "People can change. When was the last time you talked to him?"

 "Right before I was exiled, you idiot." With each word you spit at each other, you feel an even sharper pain in your back, but you ignore it to continue arguing with Seokjin. "I can't believe you."

 "What do you mean?" Seokjin roars.

 "How do you not fucking know this? Elves can not cast curses. It is against their very biology! When an elf curses something, they fade! They cease to exist! They-" You stop. "Oh."

 "What now? Are you going to see how stupid I am? Test me some more?" Jimin reaches out and hits Seokjin. "What was that for, Jimin?" Jimin points to you.

 "(Y/N), your horn." You reach up shakily and feel your horn. Instead of the straight horn you once had, it's starting to curve.

 "What color is it?" You ask, and Jimin is confused.

 "It's just kind of off-white? The normal for unicorn horns?" You shake your head.

 "It is not normal." You say quietly. "A unicorn horn should be white. Pure white. I have been tainted."

 "What?" The anger in Seokjin's voice is replaced by confusion.

 "It must have been because of the dark magic surrounding me in this kingdom," you rationalize. "I have lived among unicorns my whole life. My mother has hidden her rotten heart with magic. I have never been surrounded by dark magic or evil and known it consciously until quite recently. The dark magic here is slowly affecting my heart and soul."

 Seokjin pauses. "You cannot stay here."

 "I cannot," you agree, "and nor can I go to Jeonghan. Elves, too, can be tainted. I will go to the Yokai kingdom. Yuta can help me."

 Seokjin and Jimin look at each other, then back at you. "I will go with you." Seokjin and Jimin chime in at the same time.

 "No," you refuse. "I will not bring a dragon to the Yokai Kingdom."

 "But I'm half-elf, so wouldn't it be fine? I don't even need to be in the kingdom."

 "Alright, I will let you come along, Jimin." You turned to Seokjin slowly. "I am going to have to break our arcane bond."

 Seokjin leaped up from the couch. "Why?" he demanded.

 You started to explain yourself. "You are the Dragon King's son. Even if you do not live with him, you are bound to be noticed and recognized. Especially if royal guards and workers are looking for me. Another reason is your natural dark magic. You cannot help it, but it would further my ailment along. Jimin is a half-elf, so it would be safer." Seokjin huffed but didn't argue. "I must leave as soon as I can. Jimin, would you be alright with leaving tomorrow?" He nods, and you smile at him.

 "It's a plan," he cheers, and you laugh giddily. You don't know why you're giggling, as this is a matter of life and death, but the situation seems bizarre to you. Maybe it's because you've never done anything like this. Adrenaline can do magical things, you conclude.

 —

 "Ready to go?" You stir, and the hand on your shoulder starts shaking you gently. You bolt up in your bed and see Jimin peering down at you, a slight smile gracing his lips. "Ah, you're awake."

 "I am," you mutter, rubbing your eyes and tumbling out of bed with the blankets wrapped around you, "I am awake. I am awake."

 "You don't look very awake." Seokjin peers through the doorframe to tease you, and you ignore him. You seem to be doing that a lot these days.

 "Do not worry." You stand, and with a little magic, you put the bed sheets back on the bed neatly and pack your things. "Thank you for hosting me. I will meet you two in the foyer, and then I can break the arcane bond, and we will head out."

 Seokjin quiets a bit and leaves you and Jimin. "You know," Jimin begins, "you shouldn't talk so freely about breaking your arcane bond with him." You look up from your luggage.

 "Why?"

 "He and his mother had an arcane bond." Well. This was news to you. "She dishonored it to save him from his father. This is why he doesn't live with the Dragon King. Arcane bonds, and especially breaking arcane bonds, are a sore subject for him."

 You sit back on your heels and don't respond to Jimin for a few seconds. "I see." You stand and brush off your pants, flicking the hair out of your face. "I will not throw the term around so carelessly."

 "Thank you." Jimin manages to get the words out before you and him head down the hallway. "Hey, I mean it. Thank you." He grabs your arm, and you turn to look at him.

 "It is alright." You start walking quicker, and Jimin gets the hint, no longer saying anything else on the matter. "Let us go. I do not want to keep Seokjin waiting."

 As you reach the hall, you can see Seokjin at the foot of the stairs. "Are you sure you have enough food?" You nod. "And enough water?"

 "Jin, don't worry! I'm sure (Y/N) packed all she needed!" You nod again.

 "Seokjin," you start to speak, and both Seokjin and Jimin turn to look at you, "this is a very last-minute decision. But if you really think you must come, you may. I just ask that you keep a distance away from us." Seokjin brightens up, and Jimin grins brilliantly.

 "That's great!" Seokjin is so excited about this. "I know the forest really well! I'll be so helpful! Just watch me!"

 You smile at his excitement. "Jin, go and pack quickly. We will wait." Seokjin stops and turns towards you. "Jin?"

 "It's nothing," he says, walking away, and you stare at his back.

 When he leaves, Jimin whispers in your ear, "It's the first time you called him by his nickname, (Y/N). It's always just been 'Seokjin,' even though you've stayed here for two weeks." You sigh.

 "It was always custom for a unicorn to use a nickname. True names are prohibited unless you are blood family." Only blood family cannot summon you. Jimin 'ahhs' in understanding.

 "Here, nicknames are very important to us," Jimin explains, "it shows trust. If someone calls you by your nickname, it shows they trust you and are willing to stay with you."

 You nod carefully. You had no idea nicknames were used like that here. In some ways, the unicorns are more uptight than dragons. "What is your nickname, Jimin?"

 "My nickname? It's Jiminie or Mochi. What's yours?"

 "(Y/N) is my nickname."

 "What's your full name?"

 "I cannot tell you," you say, and Jimin asks why. "Unicorn names hold similar abilities as demons' names. If someone says a unicorn's real name, they can be summoned."

 Jimin's mouth drops open. "Oh. Wait, but wouldn't it be helpful to know your true name, in case we get separated?"

 You pause. "Alright. But you can not tell anyone," you warn Jimin.

 "Of course!"

 "Apneri. Please do not call it unless you are in immediate danger." Jimin nods, and with that, Seokjin returns, holding a backpack.

 "Let's go, birches," he whoops, and Jimin giggles.

 "What's with the birches?" he teases.

 "I don't want to make the darkness grow in (Y/N)." You chuckle, and the two dragons turn to look at you.

 "Swearing is alright. Remember? I swore during our argument," you say, and Seokjin hesitates, then laughs.

 "Ah, yes. How could I forget?" Seokjin reminisces jokingly. "I believe you called me an idiot."

 "Yes, sorry about that." You roll your eyes at him, and before he can respond, Jimin interrupts with a single sentence.

 "We should go."

 "I forgot about that." Seokjin mumbles.

 "You had been begging to go. Do not lie to me and tell me you forgot." He gives you the puppy eyes. "Do not give me that look."

 "I'll give you whatever look I like." Seokjin declares, and heads out the door to dodge your kick.

 "Which way is it to the Yokai Kingdom?" Jimin asks as he and you follow Seokjin out the door. "I didn't even know they were on our border."

 "The Yokai Kingdom is north of the Dragon Kingdom's center," you answer. "This is why I did not want Seokjin to come along. We would have to go either around or through the center."

 Seokjin rolls his eyes. "We can just go around. There's also a set of secret underground tunnels, but those are dangerous."

 "It is better than being caught by anyone. We will go through the tunnels," you reason. Seokjin sighs like he is about to die, but doesn't argue.

 Jimin skips along. "This is exciting. I've never done anything like this before."

 "Neither have I," Seokjin responds.

 "(Y/N) have you?" Jimin pipes up.

 "Yes. I traveled from the Unicorn Kingdom, through the Kingdom of the Dwarves, to try to get through the Peacelands. Thankfully, the Kingdom of the Dwarves is mostly underground, so the journey was not too long." Because the kingdom is underground, it spans vertically, not horizontally. Thus, the width of the land is only a couple hundred kilometers. It was still long enough to take a day of travel, as you had to stop to rest.

 "Really? That's so interesting. I've never met a dwarf before. Have you?"

 "Yes." This time both you and Seokjin answer.

 "I met one on my journey through his kingdom. He was very kind and pointed out the right way to the peacelands," you shared your story.

 "I met one when I was living in the palace. He was the Dwarfen Emperor's ambassador. It turned out he was stealing money from both kingdoms, so he was executed."

 "That's just confusing." Jimin teases Seokjin about his story. "(Y/N)'s story was better."

 Seokjin spits a couple sparks of fire at Jimin playfully, and Jimin punches him back. You continue moving on while watching them with amusement. Before you can get very far, however, you hear a yell. You spin around and see Jimin on fire. Quickly summoning a storm cloud, you make sure it drenches Jimin immediately. "What-" Seokjin and Jimin stare at you.

 "Sorry," you mumble, "but I got scared for a second."

 "It's alright. It's funny too." Jimin sidles up to you and leans over to whisper in your ear. "Can you do it to Jin?" You giggle.

 "What are you two planning?" Seokjin asks, but his question is answered with wet clothes. "You two are little stinkers."

 Jimin smiles cheerfully. "I know," he sing-songs and Seokjin rolls his eyes again.

 "You two do that again, and you'll have a mutiny on your hands." You raise an eyebrow and counter him playfully.

 "You are the one leading us through the forest, so you are technically the leader. That would just be harassment, and I will report you."

 Seokjin scoffs. "Who're you going to report me to? My dad?"

 You narrow your eyes. "Don't try me," you threaten jokingly. Seokjin reaches out to poke you, but before he can, horns interrupt the playful atmosphere.

 "It's the royal horns," Jimin speaks in fear, and you and Seokjin freeze.

 "(Y/N), get behind me. This will probably harm you, but I am going to use my magic to shield you." You nod, and scramble behind Seokjin, dropping down to the ground. As Seokjin's magic settles onto you, you hold back your whimpers as the sharp pulsing in your back returns. You can't see anything, as the shielding magic blocks your sight, but you can hear feet stepping near you.

 "Hello, Jiyong."

 "Hello, Seokjin. Jimin." The pure disdain in both Seokjin and who you assume to be Jiyong is obvious. "Have you heard the news? There is a unicorn in this kingdom. Can you believe it? A stupid, unworthy, glorified horse ventured into the great Dragon Kingdom? How idiotic can you get?" With each word, you get angrier and angrier. The pulsing in your back picks up, and you have to take deep breaths to calm down.

 "I did hear from Jimin. In fact, he had just told me." Seokjin lies with such ease, you wonder if he does this daily. "We were just heading into town to get the latest news on the subject."

 "It's fine, you can walk with me. In fact..." Jiyong pauses. "Why do I smell unicorn?"

 He begins moving towards Seokjin, and you curl up even tighter, your heart pounding in your chest. The pain in your back intensifies. You hold your breath unconsciously when Jiyong stops right where you are. Jimin bites his nails, and Seokjin's ears turn red. Jiyong rips the dark magic away, and you straighten. The dragon smirks sinisterly at you, and you glare at him. "What's this, Seokjin? Have you been harboring a unicorn from your own kingdom? From me? Your own brother?"

 Seokjin scowls. "This is no longer my kingdom, and you are no longer my brother. You know this."

 "Aw, you're still hung up on that one time? Give it a break, Seokjin." Jiyong rolls his eyes. "I'll tell you what, pipsqueak. I'll give you a pass. If you let me take this unicorn back to father, I'll guarantee you a spot in the kingdom. Or I can let you go back to your home in peace. However, if you decline, I will make your life hell."

 You step in between Jin and Jiyong. "Do not do anything to Seokjin or Jimin. They were dragged into this. I made them." With each lie, you feel the pain in your back increase. There is now pulsing in your head.

 Jiyong licks his lips. "Oh, look at this. A unicorn is making demands, and she's not even in her kingdom. Whatever shall we do? Come along, darling, let me help you." He seizes your arm, his fingernails gouging into your skin. You jerk your arm away, and Seokjin reaches out to you.

 "Don't touch her, Jiyong!" You slap his hand away, but it's too late.

 "Oh? It doesn't seem like you forced them. Unicorns are incapable of performing manipulation magic."

 "I have been corrupted by the dark magic here. You have no idea of what I am capable of." You seethe, but with that final burst of anger, your body and soul cannot handle the evil you're committing, even if it's for a good cause. The pain in your back and head is unbearable, and you fall to your knees.

 "Look at this vacca foeda," Jiyong sneers, spitting at your feet. "What's wrong, honey?"

 "Seokjin. Jimin." You call out your friends' name, ignoring the dragon you're at the feet of. "Run."

 "I'm not leaving you!" Seokjin yelps, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

 "We're in this together," Jimin adds in, fire glowing in his throat.

 "No. I have a plan," you tell them, and Jiyong smirks.

 "What are you going to do? Cry? Put a storm cloud over my head?"

 "Neither," you hiss, and grab your necklace. It glows, and in a flash of light, the unicorn queen and her army appears.

 "Apneri, what is going on?" the queen asks at you. "Why are you in the Dragon Kingdom?"

 You can feel the effects of breaking the arcane bond taking its toll on you. "I do not have much time, mother. I broke an arcane bond. I must ask you one thing."

 "What is it?" Your mother's eyes soften. She looks at you with pity.

 "Spare Seokjin and Jimin." Seokjin sobs and falls to his knees. The queen nods once. That's enough confirmation for you. You fall to the ground, and Jiyong howls in pain as your life and soul fades.

—

Wow my hands hurt. This is 25% of the original word count, and 1/5 was written today. I'm sorry for the delay. But I really love this, and I hope you do too. Maybe I'll post an alternative ending. Thank you.

Also, we love how the title has nothing to do with the fic except for like one section.

[sassytspoemsnraps]

I’m literally feeling like I’m living in a dream😇😇😇

⭐️⭐️⭐️My life is like a fairly tale to say the least,

but then as bad as they were at one point I was

“Dancing with the devil” in 🏜 Death Valley🌙🌙🌙

About to tackle my deamons one by one. Head on..

Let that resignate it was a flight situation but I had to

fight I had the strength and courage to look at every

situation and subsequently subjectivity decide. This

was all mere negative thoughts or self conscious

insecurities coming to the surface. The little critics of

your own self. It’s like a sick and twisted game and

your the Joker your playing urself honey. And your

Depriving yourself of what you truly deserve and

what’s out there waiting for you that you were

craving and literally everything that you could ever

asked and hoped for was your reality like your reality

Was about to get better than the dream and you’re

living in a fairytale, Queen of the Underground.

Remind yourself your the one that you very so

created and things were about to get real and I just

had to dig myself out of this after I conquered all my

insecurities and got my Ass back home to heal and

recover from this madness nightmare that it so

quickly turned upside down because you were going

against the timing and the plan that you needed to

go. You wanted to play some more and knowing that

Nothing lasts forever and all good things must come

to an end inevitably but I have not a single regret

because I had to life through each experience to get

me to where I am right now and heal and recover

because that was never for you and part of that being

the reason why you would even fight for something

so much that was it supposed to end up that way did

you guys lived it up and had a good time that you

also add times that we’re not so good but I also

needed those times to realize what I was doing

wrong and never in looking at myself from another 

Perspective and that’s the hard thing to do cause I

never want to believe I’m in the wrong but that

taught me what I needed to learn.. Whether or not he

was telling me the truth or answer my questions it

Was irrelevant because I was still in the wrong

regardless it was a chapter on your journey and those

Extacy eventually come crashing down like a tidal

wave of nightmares and just how quickly things fall

apart when you fight against energy and destiny. I

definitely learned a lot about myself and

relationships and my judgments as well and I do

appreciate all of the great times and I’ll forever have a

special place in my heart for end cure for every

chapter because they helped me realize I was

Allowing to go on. Once I went back home and there

I would rediscover who I was and once I came home

it all just started to Come back together because

there was a comfort in solidarity and self reflection.

And clarity once I refreshed myself what I deserve to

know the whole truth to my purpose and Devine gift

of timeless energy and Realness. I have no regrets

and each lesson I had to learn or relearn again or else

It would continue to come back up and until I was

able to pass the test that was the only way out of it it

was due or die now is the time and could never get

an opportunity again so I knew what I had to do.

and now it s starting to make sense more

Having all these thoughts and questions and not having anyone to turn to going though Some of the heartache on my own sucks but at the same time some of the stuff I needed to do on my own as well as the reflecting and solidarity and just healing and cleanse just a whole refresher because I wasn’t gonna go back to any of that nonsense I was ready to Start my future ends I have a new way of thinking and someone that will complete me more than I could ever even imagine the sweetes and most perfect person for me literally my soulmate my other half see if you want the fairytale then you decide that its really about what you truly want and satisfying to your needs and desires. He gets me in every single way that I never had and silently crave. The rough and hair pulling, biting and just devouring that moment when thier souls finally reconnect being as they were together maybe in another lifetime. Today was the day her dreams came true and she was resdy to start living her life again and finally everything made sense the journey and each lesson and person and situation everything needed to happen to get me here to this very moment and now. I’ll get my fairy tale ending and Man of my Dreams whom will be with me until the end of time until death do us part. True Uplifting Vibrating Magical and Devine ❤️ soul blowong Love and they lived happily ever & hard Times pass we’ll be okay. Together we’ll be alright! Ain’t that the truth. We can conquer the world or destroy it lmao no jk we’re gonna make some babies and make up for the time we lost.

This helped me because she said that no onunderstands because no one walks in your shoes 👠 I never fully understood it at the time but always was in the back of my mind. Well she’s right I just had to allow myself to raise my vibration to the truth and what I deserve As opposed to what I would allow. Consequently at one time things were great but they just slowly got worse it was like a roller coaster but towards the end I was wrestling my demons bringing his out if you’re in the fire feeling it fueling it and all the situations I would create in my head that weren’t even true I would start to believe and then start arguing with me on thoughts I’m not getting paranoid just not knowing what to believe because the truth could be lies and then we Mile I’m the one sabotaging the truth or questioning it because my own insecurities but I hope that there’s no hard feelings just appreciation and gratitude for what happened and how each event pan down and the opportunities that I had to revisit these was once in a lifetime and knowing what I know now it was all worth it it was scary and uncertain and really brave but I was going to risk my for my people and find the truth and fight for what’s right fully deserved and for my sanity in this wicked world where everything‘s not so cookie cut I’m not any safer type of whistle blower but let me tell you the information is out there if you look in the right places and ask the right people you will find it Because you will see it and you won’t even have to question it because you will know once you have that click everything starts to get a lot more real you’re gonna walk through the valley of the shadow of death look at your demons they’re going to challenge you they’re gonna try to drag you down you can’t let that happen that was an old part of you or a part of you that died and no longer exists only in your mind the character you created to play that part in this conundrum of your life but sometimes things get really still and you’re sitting around it’s almost a year two years three years and you need to get out you need to get out of that funk and then you get a taste for life again and you just start to go with it and then it just starts to take you over and you just get so caught up in this fantasy life that’s not real but it’s fun to play and it’s fun to Tesla miss ends test limits and just see where certain nights can take you and just be open minded and in the moment because the thing about that is you only have this moment and that’s the only mom you have and it’s never going to come around again so you have to live embrace it and live it to the fullest it’s one like I was always worried about the past or the future and that gives you just have to be present and except who you truly are and you know the world what what can you throw at me or how can I tackle this today I’m not gonna worry about it because I’m coming to God and when it comes on about it will inevitably be consistent with what you serve so you need to have more respect for yourself and not allow any type of disrespectful remarks or behaviors because you deserve more than that and you don’t know why you let that go on because you were in a dark place and you didn’t know any other way at that point in time and it’s really hard to dig yourself out of it because one after the next excuse after excuse little by little you see the storm sort of brewing and then that’s when lake you know that blender should go on and you should say I am just means I need to rest and recharge or whatever so everyone’s story is different everyone has their faces or favorite things comforts just be around good people don’t let anyone kill your vibe and don’t be afraid to ask questions for skip for what you believe in because you could be leading the way for so many other people that don’t have that choice or they can’t stand up for themselves for that just don’t know how to or have the strength to know you never know and hey if I truly believe something with my whole heart the Universe will conspire to make it happen.🌙

[willowandfog]

InuKag Week 2020- Day 4

Please see tags for all trigger warnings! This is one continual story for the week.

FFN or AO3

I want to give a big SHOUTOUT to @ruddcatha​ for really helping me with edits, writing, and ideas. She’s really helped me to focus my thoughts. <3

Chapter 4: Desire

Sesshomaru had stopped by Kagome’s room while Inuyasha was out processing the news. She explained to him that she had decided to tell Inuyasha, but had asked him to still wait a while after her passing before giving Inuyasha the necessary documents. 

He agreed easily and after gaining her signature on the new form, he had laid a hand on her shoulder. It was a casual gesture and may have seemed even cold to an outsider but Kagome knew. Sesshomaru never touched or showed any type of affection to anyone other than his daughter. His gesture brought tears to Kagome’s eyes. 

After Sesshomaru left it was a while before Inuyasha returned, carrying a large tray filled with all sorts of different food from the cafeteria. “I figured that you could use something other than the gross stuff they send up from the kitchen. This stuff isn’t too much better but.” He gave her a shrug. 

He set the tray down on the rolling table beside her bed before turning to her. He sat beside her on the bed and took her hand. “Listen, I’m sorry I bolted out of here. I just needed to think about things.” He gave her a half smile. “I understand why you did it. And I love you all the more for trying to help preserve everything we’ve been striving for.” He glanced down at their intertwined hands. “How could you have known that waiting a week would’ve cost us something even greater? You couldn’t.”

“I was going to tell you. I had planned on letting you know when things started clearing up. I actually had it all planned out, Saturday after the movie I was going to surprise you with the news. I figured since I had been feeling better we could start planning out the future again, taking a fertility test and talking to the doctor about our options and then discussing how to proceed with the eggs if need be. But I guess fate had something else in mind…” Her words drifted off and her eyes began to fill, her face falling.

The sight of her tears and the heartfelt words had his heart aching. Thinking he would help her dry her tears and turn this day into something happier, something that would bring the smile back to her face. “Do you remember when we first met?”

Kagome nodded but when she didn’t speak, Inuyasha did. “You were new to our school. It’s always rough transferring during high school but you had to go and transfer to a partial demon school.”

Kagome cracked a slight smile. “I was so nervous, I hadn’t ever really been around demons much. I tried to stay calm cause I knew they would smell my fear. I still don’t know how I made it through that first day.” 

“I remember seeing you for the first time. Walking down the hall, head held high, seeming to have all the confidence in the world. But we all knew you were nervous, yet you tried not to let it show. I liked that, I admired you for that. You still smiled at people passing by, still pleasant even when afraid.”

“After that first day, I was so hesitant to walk home, I’d never had to walk home before, especially being in a new area, I hardly remembered the way to my house.”

“You stood there at the bottom of the steps for so long. I thought you forgot where you were, lost in thought maybe?” He grinned at her, pulling his hand free from hers to wrap his arm around her shoulders, leaning back against the propped bed. “I had heard your name around school, everyone always talks about the new kid. But I wanted to know more about you, about the brave, confident, kind girl.”

“You came up and offered to walk me home. I remember seeing you walking towards me, my heart started racing, I thought you were so gorgeous. And those ears! So cute.” Inuyasha smirked at that.

“I walked you all the way home, asking you everything I could think of about yourself and your family. By the time we reached your door, I think I knew I was in love with you.” 

Kagome grinned up at him before leaning up to give him a peck on the cheek. “You walked me home everyday after that. Can’t believe it took you six months to ask me to hang out outside of school!” She elbowed him in the side a bit.

“Hey!” He cringed, grabbing his side, a fake wounded look on his face. “I was nervous, ok? You were smart, beautiful, kind, and so amazing. You treated me like I was a real person, not some hanyou abomination. I knew you were too good for me, I couldn’t help it though. After so long I just had to see more of you.” His voice was low and slightly husky by the end.

Kagome blushed. “Remember when you told me you loved me? ‘Finally!’ I thought. I had been wanting to tell you that I loved you but I wanted you to say it first.” 

“We knew each other for years.” He chuckled a little. “I feel so stupid now when I recall how long I waited. Best friends for three years. Out celebrating graduation at the carnival. I didn’t want you running off to college without knowing how I felt. But I was also way too chicken to tell you. So I waited for the perfect romantic moment.” He gestured out with his freehand, splaying it out before them.

Kagome swatted his hand down. “You mean a moment when you knew I couldn’t see your face.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Hey, you only know that because I confessed it to you later. You have to admit it was still romantic.” He raised a brow at her, daring her to disagree. 

“Yeah. The cliche Ferris wheel is romantic.” She smiled, tweaking her nose in a teasing way. “I wasn’t thinking that at the moment though. I was thinking how I wished you would just tell me how you felt, so I would know. Being so close to you, spending every spare moment together. I assumed it was obvious how much I loved you, I just needed you to say it. You say that I was confident and brave, clearly not.”

“I can’t tell you how many nights we were saying goodbye to each other and I just wanted to pull you close. Hold you tight, breathe in your scent and say those words to you. My heart would ache the whole way home, until I saw you again.” 

“I would’ve waited however long you took. There would never be anyone else for me. Even if you didn’t go to college with me, I would’ve been waiting.” Kagome’s eyes filled with tears.

Inuyasha gave her a small loving smile, wiping away her tears gently. “Good thing you didn’t have to. I told you how I felt and I guess that was the only motivation you needed.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her, earning him another elbow to the side. “Tried to jump me right there in that small enclosed box!”

They both laughed. “Worth it.” Was all she said in between her giggles.

When their laughter died down she gave him a devious look. “So what you really meant to say is that finally confessing was the only motivation you needed. It only took you a year to propose after that.” 

“Hell yeah. We were in college, I wasn’t taking any chances on losing you. Had to lock it down.” She rolled her eyes at him. “I was actually afraid you would propose to me if I didn’t hurry up and do it.” He smirked.

She giggled again. “You’re probably right. After waiting so long for you to tell me you loved me, like hell if I would wait three more years for that.” 

“I hardly remember the wedding though. Went by so fast. I do remember how gorgeous you were though, and how beautiful you looked with a tear running down your face as you spoke your vows. The way you smelled, drove me crazy. Was hard twirling you on the dance floor knowing that in a few hours I’d have you alone in a hotel room.” His eyebrows wiggled again causing another eruption of giggles. 

“Yeah, that was quite a night.” She whispered, her eyes glazing over as if remembering all the details, her face flushing red. Inuyasha could smell her exotic arousal, his pupils starting to dilate. 

“Kagome, if you don’t stop thinking like that I’m going to have a very hard time not barring the door and taking you right here.” His lips were pressed against her ear, his voice very low and husky. It sent a shiver down her spine.

Her scent spiked and Inuyasha sucked in a sharp breath. “I think I’d be ok with that.” She whispered.

His eyes widened in shock before he leaped from the bed. He was quick to the door, closing it gently before turning the lock. As he made his way back he paused to pull the curtain around the bed slightly. When he stopped at the side of her bed, it finally hit him what they were doing. “Kagome.” He sighed. “Do you think this is such a good idea? You’re sick, in a hospital. This isn’t right.” He looked down, a little defeated, a lot disappointed, and very ashamed at not having the thought sooner.

“Inuyasha.” Kagome’s voice was firm and confident. “You’re right, I am sick. But if all of this is real, if I’m not going to be here much longer, I want to spend it with you. Being with you, even if it’s the last time. Stop overthinking it, just be with me, love me, make love to me, show me how much you love me because I want you so bad right now it hurts.” 

Her words shot straight into his heart. He wanted the same thing, to hold her, show her how much he loved her, how beautiful he thought she was. If this was the last time he would be sure to satisfy her every want and need. 

He stripped down, knowing it would be too difficult to do on the bed. When he climbed in beside her, he pulled the blanket up over them, pulling her close. He made sure they took their time, going slow, exploring each other's bodies as if for the first time. It was slow and sweet, him stopping every so often to make sure she was still ok, and her breathy yes reply every time. He satisfied her needs first before finally shifting her to her side, her back pressed firm against him. He checked again that she was alright before lifting one of her legs to drape over his and slowly pushing into her. Using the one arm wrapped around her waist to pull her back against him, he repeated this as gently as he could manage over and over. One of her hands clawed against his arm, as the other reached behind her to hold the back of his head firmly to her. Every so often moving to stroke his ears. He nuzzled his face deeper into her neck, inhaling deeply, trying to implant her scent, and this moment further into his brain. When she started trembling, her release close, he muttered how much he loved her into her ear, throwing her over the edge. With the feel of her coming undone around him and the scent of her release flooding his senses, Inuyasha growled softly and followed her, burying his face in her hair as he lost himself in her.

[elenathehun]

Shisui/Mei, 37. "Shall we dance?"

“I don’t like this,” Zabuza repeated, for the fourth time in the last hour.  Mei very firmly resisted the urge to sigh, before looking over at her… partner?  That was as good a word as any for their relationship.  Mist nin don’t have friends, but she and Zabuza were rather past the point of being colleagues.

“You don’t have to like it,” she told him firmly, pouring some more sake into her cup.  "You just have to follow the plan.  Why not play a game while we’re here?  You need to work on your bluffing, anyway.“

He just grunted in response before walking away towards the card game in the center of the room, which was less than satisfying.  Mei gave him another 10 minutes before he started up again.  Out of all the people in the Village, Mei really regretted that he was the only one she could sort of trust in this matter.

Well, him and Yagura.  But Yagura was off learning to control the three-tails, and even if he’d perfect his control of the beast, he wouldn’t have been able to come to this meeting.  After all, their faction’s candidate for the Fourth Mizukage absolutely could not be seen conspiring to assassinate his predecessor with the aid of foreign nin.

No, Yagura need to train, as far away from the Third as possible while still remaining in Mist’s territorial bounds.  Preferably semi-publicly.  And that left Mei and Zabuza sitting in a rundown gambling den on the western frontier, waiting for some kind of confirm from the fucking Leaf.

And right on cue, the door to the den slid open, and a man walked in.  Mei sized him up as he pulled off his waterproof cloak - pale skin, dark eyes, and dark, curly hair, complete with calloused hands criss-crossed with wire work scars.

"So does Leaf want to make it obvious they’re interfering with the politics of Mist, or is that just a nice side-effect of sending an Uchiha to do their dirty work?” Mei asked sweetly, gesturing for the man to approach her table.  The other nin didn’t even flinch.  A careless grin spread across his face as he loped over to her table, before stopping a little shy of the stool Zabuza had just departed.  Zabuza himself was doing his best to blend in to the background with the other card players - and actually not doing too bad a job, surprising as that was.  

“Ah, but where would the fun be in that?” The Leaf nin asked cheerfully, mirth visible in every line of his face.  "It’s hardly a challenge if my masters send me to a place where I blend in!  Of course, if I stand out so much… please, my lady, do tell me my name.“

Mei raised an eyebrow at the impudence, before accepting the point.  She didn’t know the man’s name, and without the appearance of a sharingan, there was no way to definitively ID someone as an Uchiha.  Mei wordless swept her arm out in a welcoming gesture, and the Uchiha chuckled and sat down in the stool opposite hers, pouring himself his own cup of sake.

"So I heard from a friend of a mutual acquaintance that you’d like to have a greater hand in steering the ship of state,” he murmured over his cup of sake, dark eyes intent on hers.  "I also heard that your figurehead is 500 leagues south, putting down a local insurrection almost singlehandedly.“

Mei inclined her head.  There was no use pretending that Yagura does not bear the Sanbi.  He’d been famous before the demon had been sealed inside him, and his skills had changed too much afterwards.  In truth, Leaf was the only village so secretive about their sacrifice.  They held the nine-tails, but prided themselves on the strength and skill of their ordinary nin in both war and peace.  If they had ever used their sacrifice in battle, no one had survived to tell the tale.

"Our leader cannot be tainted by any speculation regarding the manner of his predecessor’s passing,” Mei confirmed.  "So you will only deal with myself.“

"I’m not sure if I’d call that stupid or brave,” the Uchiha said, still smiling.  "I’m not sure I could be that sanguine about the possibility of exile.“

"Neither,” Mei replied curtly.  "I call it sensible; I have no desire to go into exile, but if that be the price of regime change…“

"Well said, but ultimately unnecessary,” the Uchiha murmured, his smile fading as he leans across the table.  "I am very good at my job - certainly better than you, Terumi Mei, and you are hardly a novice.“

He probably thought he was being menacing.  Mei grew up with a sword over her head, the hilt clutched between her own hands and that of her closest classmate.  This display didn’t even rise to the level of implied punishment her father had threatened her with when she was a small child.  Mei had deliberately cultivated her reputation since she’d graduated; her appearance and her powers are well-known. If the Uchiha didn’t know her name, she would have been insulted by the caliber of assistance the Leaf sent.

"Are you finished?” Mei asked sarcastically.  "Because if this is the extent of your skills, I may need to ask our mutual acquaintance to find me someone worthier of my time.“

"Oh, so it’s an exhibition you’d like?  I can provide that, if you’re not willing to take me at my word.”

And suddenly the gambling hall was twisting in her vision, as the Leaf nin pulled the genjutsu from her control into his, faster than she could pull it back.  When it resettled, it was a dance hall, the type favored on the border between Leaf and Lightning.  The petty criminals had all transformed to respectable townsfolk, out for a night on the town.  Zabuza looked quite out of place among the throng.

“Wanna dance?” the Uchiha said, as awfully forward and informal as all the other Leaf nin Mei had met, dominant hand outstretched.

Mei laughed; it sounded like a bell ringing.  She knew this because her mother had drilled her on it incessantly, until she could produce it on cue.  She placed her hand in his, lingered a little on the sensations of his callouses, so different from hers - and then ended the genjutsu.  The dripping woods of Mist came back into view, the mist ever-present as always.  

“Oh darling,” Mei purred.  "It would be my absolute pleasure to partner with you.“

[juju-on-that-yeet]

There Are Worse Things I Could Do, Chapter 9/10

Summary: Dark comes to collect Yancy from jail and let him know of his punishment. Yancy is equal parts scared of Dark and eager to finally, finally go home. Warnings: None Characters: Yancy, Darkiplier

Read on AO3

Enjoy!

~

It’s late the next morning when Yancy senses that something’s off.

For one thing, the lights start to flicker slightly. For another, the security cameras in the corners of the walls spark and die. Most tellingly, though, a tendril of inky smoke winds down the hallway, slips between the bars of Yancy’s cell, and coils around his arm.

“Dark,” he gasps.

Sure enough, a moment later, the man himself appears before Yancy, hands clasped behind his back, sharp gaze staring Yancy down through his cell.

He does not look happy.

“C’mon, say something! Make it good, you haven’t seen him in days! Some sort of justification, or apology, or anything, just don’t leave him hanging!”

“U-Um,” Yancy stammers, “Uh…good morning, sir?”

“Really?”

“Don’t be like that! I’ve been through a lot lately, what did you expect me to say??”

The cell door slams open with a metallic screech as Dark’s aura tears it open. Yancy yelps at the volume, but Dark doesn’t react. He only jerks his head towards the station’s exit.

“Come.” His voice is deep, echoing, colder than ice. His form shivers with suppressed rage.

Yancy scrambles to his feet and scuttles after Dark.

He wonders briefly why Dark isn’t just teleporting them. He broke the cameras, didn’t he? Walking through the station, Yancy sees unconscious officers and sparking computers. The place is utterly silent aside from the electrical pops and Dark and Yancy’s footsteps. Maybe Dark’s making them walk to intimidate Yancy. It’s certainly working: It’s a walk of shame on par with the road to solitary Yancy remembers from Happy Trails. It’s a similar dread, a similar fear of saying the wrong thing or making the wrong move. He’s still reeling from the night before, still exhausted yet too hyped up to think about sleep.

And he suspects his very long day is far from over.

This is confirmed when Dark opens the door to exit the station, and instead of seeing the street outside, the open door leads to nothing but blackness, thick like a wall.

Oh, fuck.

Yancy has no choice but to follow Dark into the void, head down, trudging sadly, nervously.

They don’t walk very long, but it’s long enough for Yancy to get uncomfortable in the darkness. His own footsteps don’t make any noise, but he can hear whispers around him, unintelligible and barely there. He knows he’s sweating, skin chilled. He strains to see Dark ahead of him in the blackness. When he hazards a glance over his shoulder, he can’t see the station’s lobby anymore. He shudders, tries his best to keep his cool, but he’s being reminded more and more of solitary every second: The darkness in that windowless room, the cold permeating every corner, the way sounds echo and just barely filter in from outside, not enough to listen to, but enough to remind Yancy of what’s he’s missing. This place, this void, is far too familiar. Dark’s back ahead of him is too similar to Warden Murderslaughter, he has the same confidence that Yancy will not dawdle or run away. But Murderslaughter at least pretended to care about Yancy most of the time. Dark has no such reservations. Yancy almost whimpers, but keeps himself quiet.

Finally, Dark stops. Yancy stops just after, too focused on Dark and on behaving well to accidentally keep walking (a mistake he’s made before). Dark turns to him and glares down at him. Yancy wonders how he looks to him; red-rimmed and purple-smudged eyes, rumpled and stained clothes that don’t belong to him, a bandaged gash up his arm, shaking with fear and hurt. It’s not enough to move Dark, though; his gaze is still sharp, still cold, unyielding and unwavering.

“Do you understand,” Dark begins slowly, form already cracking with rage, “Exactly how much trouble you’re in?”

“U-um,” Yancy stammers. He knows that what he thinks the answer is doesn’t matter; it’s only what he’s expected to say. “No, s-sir.”

“I thought not.” Dark steps forward, closer. Yancy resists the urge to step back, away. “You left Ego Inc. without informing anyone, with the intent to stay away forever, or as long as you could manage.” His form snaps. “You got yourself arrested, put into the system, putting every single one of us at risk. Do you understand why we are meant to live in Ego Inc.? Do you understand what could happen to us, to Mark and his channel, if we were exposed? If your recklessness brought trouble to the rest of us?” There’s three Darks now, transparent technicolor shadows of himself on either side.

“Y-Yes, sir,” Yancy whispers, unable to be louder.

“You understand, I’m sure, that you have to be punished,” Dark continues. He’s never reminded Yancy so much of Warden Murderslaughter before.

“Yes, sir,” Yancy mumbles, trying to meet Dark’s eyes but finding it very difficult. They’re flashing pure black every few moments.

A pause. Dark lets Yancy absorb the situation.

“Do you know,” he asks, “How long you’ve been away from Ego Inc.?”

It’s another question that Dark doesn’t expect a good answer from. Yancy tries to give him the correct response.

“A while, sir.” He nervously shifts his feet. “Dunno how long exactly.”

“Eighteen days, Yancy,” Dark growls, shell cracking around him with anger. Yancy winces; he must’ve responded wrong, and now he’ll pay for it. “Eighteen days, you’ve had us running ragged through the city searching for you. At any time you could have and should have returned, but you did not. You actively evaded us, didn’t you? We would have found you otherwise.”

“I did, sir,” Yancy admits, bowing his head.

“I’ve not had to punish an ego for running away in a very long time,” Dark muses, “The others, old and new, know better than to break the rule of living in Ego Inc. If I had my way, your punishment would suit that crime.”

Yancy shivers, forces himself to look at Dark again. The talk of punishing Yancy has calmed Dark’s aura, and his form does not waver when he next speaks.

“You vanished for eighteen days, and my plan, my desire was to keep you here in the void for eighteen days as well.”

Yancy’s eyes go huge. His breath catches in his throat. Only for the gravest offenses would he be thrown in solitary for longer than two weeks, and even that was horrible enough. Two weeks in a small room with no windows was a horrible but effective way to go mad, and the place Yancy’s in now, this awful dark void, seems much the same. Hell, maybe it’s worse. At least solitary had a wall to count cracks in, at least solitary didn’t have demonic whispers filtering in from everywhere. And after so long of being away from Ego Inc., being away from his friends, being away from Lio, as sad as the thought of him makes him, to finding out that instead of going home, he’s only halfway done with his separation?

This is hell. This is hell.

“Please,” Yancy gasps. He falls to his knees, groveling. “Please, please, don’t keep me here, d-don’t lock me away, I’ll do b-better, I w-won’t mess up again, I p-promise, I promise, please d-don’t keep me here, please, p-please–!”

But Dark is not Warden Murderslaughter. Even from the ground, Yancy can hear Dark’s snarl, vastly different from the smug, approving hum Murderslaughter would be making at Yancy’s display.

“Get up,” Dark growls, form snapping in pieces and recombining. “You’re making a fool of yourself.”

Yancy scrambles to his feet. His vision is blurry with tears, but he doesn’t dare wipe them away.

“As I said, my desire was to keep you here for eighteen days,” Dark sighs, “But that is not what I’ll be doing.” His lip curls as he looks at Yancy. “You are very fortunate that you are so close to Yandere. He implored for me to change your punishment on your behalf, so I have come up with something different.” His aura calms. “The Googles are in the process of designing a tracking chip, able to transmit a single out to a thirty-mile radius. While the chip is being developed, you are forbidden from leaving the building for any reason, no matter who offers to accompany you. When it’s finished, it will be implanted into your arm. Google, and by extension I, will always know where you are. If you attempt to run again, we will know.” Dark leans toward Yancy, composed but stony, quietly angry. “Make no mistake, you will not get away so easily next time. The only reason you are not staying in the void is because of Yandere. I can promise you that if this happens again, nothing he says will stop me from punishing you far, far worse than what I originally planned. Understood?”

Yancy is stunned for a moment. A tracker in his skin? Projecting his location at all times? It’s a daunting thought, but…not as daunting as spending two and a half weeks in Dark’s void. After the disastrous time he had, Yancy can’t imagine running again. In a way, it’s a lot like Happy Trails, to have such a restriction on himself. Yancy can’t help but find it a little comforting. All of that aside, it’s not like Dark is giving him a choice in the matter.

“Yes, sir,” Yancy says, voice hardly a breath.

Dark scrutinizes him for a long moment, and then nods, seemingly satisfied.

“Good.” He straightens. “Now, we’re going home. The others are waiting.”

“The others?”

“Yandere must’ve told everyone you called.”

Oh, to see Yandere again, to see Mags, to see Chrome and Bim and Bop and Wilford and even Lio after so long! Yancy’s heart is fit to burst. The tears from his earlier panic have dried, but they’re being replaced anew at the thought of seeing his friends again.

Dark doesn’t give much time to think about it; in only a moment, the pair appear in front of Ego Inc., with no trace of the void around. Yancy jumps at the sudden transportation. Dark, though, is unfazed, and merely opens the doors and walks inside. Before following, Yancy can’t help but look back, back at the streets he lived among for the past eighteen days. He won’t miss them much.

Most of the egos are gathered in the lobby. The moment Dark enters, a voice speaks up.

“Yami, did you find–”

Yandere’s voice cuts off as he spots Yancy, and Yancy looks back at him, back at everyone there. It’s obvious they’ve all been worried, all been searching, and they’re all wearing expressions of shock quickly warming into joy.

Magnum is the first to act. He approaches Yancy as fast as his giant wood legs will let him, laughing heartily. He scoops Yancy up in a huge, warm hug, squeezing a burst of laughter from Yancy’s chest.

“Yancy, I missed ye!” Magnum explains, “We all did, of course, but I sure was hurtin’ without ya, lad.”

“I missed youse, too, ya big lug,” Yancy replies, unable to help smiling, teary-eyed.

That seems to break the spell the others are under, and they gather around Yancy as Magnum puts him down. Yandere pushes up close, so happy to see him he almost picks him up, too. The others surround him as close as they’re able, full of questions, full of concern, yet full of exuberant joy. Yancy can hardly keep up with them all. Dark remains apart, watching from the door, but Yancy barely registers. He does, however, notice one other conspicuous absence. He looks up, over the shoulders of everyone around him, and sees Lio hanging back, leaning against the wall, deliberately casual in a way that betrays how un-casual he feels. Lio feels Yancy’s gaze on him, and lifts his head to look at him.

And oh, Yancy had hoped that Lio wouldn’t look so good when he came back, that his memory had inflated Lio’s importance, that he wouldn’t look the same in the flesh. But he’s still so beautiful, even with uneven stubble that used to be cleanshaven, even with tired, red-rimmed eyes that used to be clear. But they’re still so bright, still that same brown like dark leather, and his pretty face breaks into a smile like he’s been blind his whole life before now, and Yancy is the sun, so perfect and incredible that Lio might cry at the sight. Lio doesn’t approach, seems too nervous to, but he mouths something to Yancy from across the way.

I’m glad you’re back.

Yancy feels the tears in his eyes start to spill over. After everything, he still isn’t ready for Lio to see him cry. So he buries his face in Yandere’s shoulder to hide his tears from the man he still loves.