#and it really upset her that everyone refused to treat her her age

[everythingroyalty]

I don’t think she should be treated as a child either now that she’s 18. She’s a young woman. Just reaching adulthood. She doesn’t need to be treated as someone settled into adult life either.

Where should she have been seated? Outside of working royals, or for the funeral the late Queen’s children first, they’re seated according to place in the line of succession. And in that case Louise and James are still right behind their father.

They weren't seated either according to precedence, succession or working status today though 🤷‍♀️ Today's seating was completely shambolic and nonsensical.

At a stretch, I could buy the "seated with their parents" thing but... they weren't? With today's seating, to be seated with their parents, they should've been seated behind them. Or Anne and Tim should've been seated front row and the collective Wessex family second row.

But whatever, the BRF seating is always nonsensical so I digress, it was a stupid example. The balcony appearance is much better. The balcony was open to working royals........ and Louise and James? Make it make sense!? These are two teenagers – one is a whole ass adult 🤣 They couldn't have watched alongside their cousins inside?

That's not treating them "as someone settled into adult life", that's abiding by the rules the BRF have set up themselves. But nope, we stay treating this adult woman like a child 🥴👍

[jytan2018]

I read the comic in one sitting less than an hour after finishing the movie, and wow I have many Thoughts™.

- It's very obvious the two versions were meant to cater to different audiences AND tell different messages. I don't get why people are going "But the comic was better! It had more nuance!" just because Nimona was easier to root for in the movie.

- The comic was written back when ND Stevenson was still trying to process a lot of stuff, so all the characters are morally grey/straight up evil and the climactic battle is between a Ballister who regrets turning against Nimona, even if it was to save others vs. a Nimona who's too hurt to care if her lashing out was going to hurt innocent people.

- By the time Nimona got a movie adaptation, ND was a lot more secure in his sexuality, so the climactic battle was Nimona vs. the Director, the symbol of religious oppression and bigotry. It's not just about your friends turning on you because you're "too much" for them anymore, it's also about a society that would rather bring itself to the brink of ruin than coexist with you.

- (I totally get why people were upset about Ballister's surname change, though. Like come on, the media dubbing him Blackheart just to be mean was RIGHT THERE).

- Nimona's metaphor for not shifting is such a neurodivergent thing. Even in the comic, Nimona's parents insisting she's a monster who replaced their daughter is reminiscent of the changeling myth, which is what many parents thought their neurodivergent kids were—changelings who replaced their "real" children.

- Ambrosius being trained to cut off HIS BOYFRIEND'S WHOLE FUCKING ARM instead of merely disarming him is a very cop thing to do. As much as cops claim they're trained to de-escalate situations, their training still teaches them to treat everyone as a potential threat, and that level of constant vigilance can turn anyone into a trigger-happy/arm-choppy bastard. Even the Director, who can use a sword but probably hasn't actually fought someone in ages, STILL can't see Ballister reaching for the squire's phone without assuming he has a weapon.

- And on that note, the Queen getting killed simply because she was trying to reform the Institution and allow commoners to become knights? That's the best "no such thing as a good cop" metaphor I've seen. Because even if there ARE good cops and they ARE in leadership positions, the system will crush them before they make any meaningful change. It's not a good institution that turned rotten, it's an institution that only exists to spread its rot and refuses to be good.

- That's why Ballister's characterisation is so different in the movie vs. the comic. Comic Ballister had 15 years to come to terms with his trauma and the Institution's evildoing, while Movie Ballister is still freshly traumatised and hasn't found a way to define himself beyond the role he was assigned by the Institution.

- Not to mention Comic Ambrosius was not very noble to begin with and genuinely believed Ballister was better suited to villainy than heroism, while Movie Ambrosius never wanted the glory that came with his lineage in the first place and only antagonised Ballister because of indoctrination he needed to unlearn (which he did, all by himself, after witnessing the lengths the Director will go to just to kill Nimona).

- It really shows how important it is to surround yourself with loved ones who are open to change. Comic Ambrosius can love Ballister all he wants, but he'll still blast his arm off because he thinks Ballister deserved it anyway. Movie Ambrosius will stop to question what "the right thing" even means, even if he didn't love Ballister enough to defend him unconditionally.

I have so many more thoughts bubbling beneath the surface, but I'll probably address them some other day. In conclusion:

[ID: A pink-haired Nimona grinning evilly while holding up a knife.]

Watch Nimona. This is not a request.

Edit: Added more thoughts!

[her-satanic-wiles]

October 10th

Praise Kink, Cardinal Copia x Plus Size!Reader

Previous Day | Next Day

Masterlist

Words: 4.9k

Warnings: Praise kink (going both ways); hurt/comfort; age gap; mentions of poor mental health; friends to lovers; unprotected sex; body worship; fingering; fellatio; nipple play; piv sex; plus size!reader; mentions of fatphobia; this is very self-indulgent; cockwarming;

Taglist: @sodoswitchimage @enchantedbunny @bitchywitchygardener @thew0man @sodomiser @the-did-i-ask @copias-sewer-rat @gehrmansbignaturals

🔞 MDNI 🔞

“Please, sweetheart, open the door.” You pleaded. Your forehead rested against the front door of Cardinal Copia’s small room, your hand stroking the wood in desperation to reach your closest friend who had locked himself inside and was sobbing on the floor. You had been alerted to his distress by his only assistant ghoul, Aurora, who was struggling to gain access to his room and knew you would be the only one who had a chance in Hell at getting in. You could hear his cries of despair and each one shattered your heart a little more.

Copia was your best friend, which from the outside looking in seemed a little strange. There was a mighty age gap between you both, and you hardly worked together, but something clicked for the two of you that one random chance you met, and you both simply couldn’t stay away. Rather like a cliché, somewhere along the lines you had developed feelings for him. He was pathetic, painfully introverted and shy, but he was the goodest of eggs, the sweetest of men, and insanely smart. His childish sense of humour resonated with you, and his inappropriate jokes were just what the doctor ordered. Neither of you truly fit in at the Ministry, not in the way other Siblings or Clergy Members did. The only reason why you both stayed was because of your devotion to the church. But Copia was worse off than you were. Everyone here, especially the Siblings, very much had a high-school mentality when it came to the Cardinal - and only the Cardinal. You would often catch their looks of disgust when he walked passed them, or hear the snidest of comments when he wasn’t around. You were aware of how they treated him, and tried your best to get more people to get to know him and keep their mouths shut. But some people refused to be swayed.

You didn’t know what had him so upset, but you had a hunch. You were just praying you were wrong.

The Cardinal was unlucky when it came to love. Most people rejected him, or sneered and turned away. But there was one of the Sisters of Sin who really captured the Cardinal’s attention, and you knew he was going to make an attempt to ask her out. You just hoped that it wasn’t today.

“Copia?” You pleaded again. “Please open the door.” You knocked gently. “Let me in?”

Though the sounds of his painful sobs remained, you heard shuffling underneath that. The door unlocked, giving you the opportunity to step back so you wouldn’t crowd him in his emotional state, and waited for him to open the door to you. And when he did, he looked much worse than anticipated.

The black paint around his eyes that signified his station in the Clergy had almost completely washed away from the tears he’d shed. Instead, they were running like black streams down his long face. The black upper lip he had had also been bitten away, and smeared across his face. His moustache was somewhat damp with both his snot and some of his tears. His eyes were red and puffy, and tears were still coming out. He was, for lack of a better term, a total mess.

Without hesitation and despite him being a little taller than you, you scooped him up into a tight hug, pulling him against your soft body and letting his head fall to your shoulders. He wept uncontrollably into the crook of your neck. He gripped onto your waist as tightly as he could, as though you were going to disappear on him the second he let go. While he was still attached to you, you managed to enter his room and close the door behind you, giving him the privacy he needed. Your hands, now free moved to cradle him, stroking his salt and pepper hair and providing as much comfort as you possibly could.

You stayed like that in the entrance for quite some time, until his sobs quietened to mere hiccups and his tears had saturated your habit. It was always better for him to get his emotions out before finding out what got him into that state. Now that he’d calmed down, he would be able to answer your questions. You both moved over to his single bed and sat down together. “What happened?” You asked, handing him a tissue from his bedside table and holding his gloved hand.

“Sh-she rejected me.”

Ah, so it was the Sister…

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry. She doesn’t deserve you.” He always rolled his eyes when you told him that as if he didn’t believe you - and it usually was because he didn’t believe you.

“But she was kind about it.” He blew his nose. “She held my hands, looked me in my eyes. She apologised! She told me that any woman would be lucky to have me, but the honour wouldn’t fall to her, as flattered as she was! She hoped I would find someone better than her. Can you imagine?”

That hit like a knife to your chest. But this wasn’t about you. You had to keep reminding yourself the feelings were not mutual.

Copia continued, “I was human to her, ___. That’s what made it worse.” His face scrunched up as if he was about to start crying again and your hand gripped his tighter as if to bring him back into reality. He nodded. “Grazie. It hurts when they treat me badly, of course. But I come to expect cruelty with the rejection now. When they treat me like a rat I know what to do. B-but this?” His bottom lip quivered. “What am I to do with this?”

You switched positions a little, taking his hand in your left and wrapping your right around his body, holding him close to you in a semi-side hug. You rest your head on his shoulder and allowed your thumbs to gently caress his body. You didn’t say anything to him - you just listened. Besides, what was there to say? You weren’t even sure how to proceed with this. Usually, their cruelty meant that you could give your true feelings about them and remind him what awful people they were and that he dodged a bullet. He was able to get over the rejection within a week at most. But no bullets were dodged with this sister. She was kind to him when no one else was. She was gentle and sweet. No wonder he was having such a tough time.

He chuckled. “I am pathetic, sì? I should not cry over such things.”

“Hey,” you lifted your head to look at him, “never say that again.”

“Why? It is true. It was stupid of me to believe anyone as beautiful as she would like me back. Look at me: I am middle-aged, weedy, ugly and pathetic. How am I to find someone better than her? When most other people are worse than she is and still will not even look at me without disdain. Perhaps it would be best if I were not here.”

“It’s not true. You’re not pathetic. You’re not any of the things anyone says about you. Copia, look at me.” His eyes remained on the ground in refusal. “Please look at me.” He wasn’t emotionally capable of looking at you, but he needed to in order for you to get your point across. In desperation, you got on your knees on the floor in front of him and placed your hands on his thighs, unthinking in your movements. Your habit, much longer than usual due to the cold, spread out regally across the floor and encircled you. Copia looked at you now, but his eyes were a little wider than normal.

“You listen to me, you are wonderful,” you grabbed his gloved hands and held them tightly, “smart, and incredibly beautiful. You may not be everyone’s cup of tea, Copia, but you will be someone’s. I appreciate you so much, and I’m so fucking thankful that you are here. I’m so grateful that I have a friend as good as you every day. I thank Satan every time I pray for bringing you into my life. I love you.”

Perhaps your confession wasn’t said with as much honesty as you wanted it to be. The amount of love you felt for him played down by your fear of losing him. But the eye contact and the position you were in must have reached him. You must have.

His hand untangled itself from yours and cupped your cheek, his mismatched and teary eyes looking at yours. “Grazie, schricchio. This foolish old man does not deserve you.”

Your hand moved to his wrist and gripped on, once again allowing your thumbs to caress the back of his hand. “Yes, you do. I wish you could see yourself as I see you: how perfectly wonderful you are even with any flaws you have. There are fewer flaws than you think. Society is the one with the problem, not you.”

This was something you knew all too well being much bigger than the average woman in the Ministry. Even in a Satanic church where everything was meant to be the polar opposite of the Catholic church, you still found prejudice amongst your Siblings. You weren’t held in quite so much disdain as “the Creepy Cardinal”, but you knew all about how inhumanely Copia was treated because you had experienced yourself on many occasions. The over-sexualisation of your body while also having people call you disgusting and cruel names. Not having men look you in the eye when they had a conversation with you lest they be scruitinised by their peers. The way that Siblings would avoid performing rituals with you for the very same reason. The few friends you made, the comments that were thrown your way. ‘You’d be so much prettier if you lost that weight.’ ‘It’s unhealthy to be your size.’ The constant beration and bullying; it was so much to experience on a daily basis. Copia became your safe haven, your quiet and comforting place. He was always appreciative of you, loved to see you, spend time with you. He, unlike some of your previous friends and lovers, was unashamed to be seen with you in public. And all of this was because he knew what it was like firsthand to be on the edge of society and treated like dog shit. And every time you saw him defeated, it smashed a piece of your soul.

Copia, by this point, had stopped crying and all that remained were little sad sniffles, but his mismatched eyes never left yours. “You are too good to me, schricchio.” He gave you a faint smile, as if to imply he was playing. But there was too much seriousness in his voice to be anywhere near a jest.

“You deserve the world and more.” You kissed the palm of his hand where it was still resting on your cheek. “I’m sorry other people don’t think the same.”

“Perhaps when the Sister was telling me there is someone better than her, she was talking about you? I always have you at my side to give me strength when I need it. If we were not in the Devil’s church, I’d think you an angel.”

“Shut up.”

“No, it is true. Your Cardinal wouldn’t lie to you, no?”

“It depends - he may have an ulterior motive. Like getting me to stop talking so he can continue his self-loathing in peace.”

Copia chuckled, “She is too smart for her own good.” His eyes remained watery but gentle. “Grazie, schricchio. It seems the world treats us both poorly.” He leant down and gave you a kiss on your forehead, something he usually saved for your lowest days. There was something different about the way this kiss felt, though - something peculiar in the way he let his lips linger a little longer than usual. The way he didn’t move back right away, instead resting his forehead on yours. You opened your own eyes to see that his were still closed. Despite the way his makeup ran, you still thought he was so, insanely handsome.

“Come on, Cardinal, let’s get you cleaned up.”

You took his hand and led him to the bathroom, placing him on the closed lidded toilet and ordering him to close his eyes. You went in with a cleanser, the exact balm you recommended him to use and gently rubbed it over his face, melting away his makeup and sadness. This was incredibly intimate for best friends, you were both well aware of it, but there was something necessary about it especially when you were both so emotionally wounded. Like the forehead kisses, this was reserved only for the days when you both felt the most broken and needed connection. It had become one of your favourite things to do with him, because it truly allowed you to study his features without being seen as creepy or weird. His large nose, his pink lips, the light brown of his eyebrows that was always hidden beneath the darkest of panda eyes. His forehead creases and deep-set laughter lines that showed despite his trauma, he still found a way to smile. His quirky little moustache that was taken directly out of an 80s porno, complete with bushman sideburns that on anyone else would look ridiculous, but it suited him indubitably. He very much had the same features as the little rats he adored, along with his skin beginning to show his age. These were all things that made him uniquely Copia, and all of the things you fell in love with aside from his personality.

Of course, when you had him like this, it was also customary to play with him a little even if it was just to coax a small smile out of him. You placed a washcloth, warm and wet from the water over his face and left it there, announcing “done”, when you’d let go. He’d berate you back, telling you this was the worst spa he’d ever been to and that he’d never return, but once he’d washed away the grease and the grime of the day, he looked at you with a very pink, but very clean face. “Ta-da!”

“Handsome as always.”

He placed his hand on your cheek once more. “Grazie, schricchio.”

You leant into his touch, savouring the feeling of it but wishing you could get closer. Wordlessly, you took his hand in yours and began removing his gloves. Gently pulling each finger so that the whole thing would be removed easier. Once both gloves were off, you took his hand and put it back on your cheek, wrapping your own around it and enjoying the feel of his soft flesh against your own.

Copia, mustering all the confidence he didn’t think he had, brought your face closer to his once more, his breath tickling your lips. It was almost as if he was expecting you to pull away, like he was giving you the option to, but once it had been made apparent you were going to stay in your position, he finally closed the gap. Your heart leapt out of your chest when his lips made contact with yours - the touch was light and barely there, filled entirely with the fear that you might jump back in disgust and chide him for his actions. But he’d opened up the floodgates now, and there was no stopping either of you.

From that moment on, your kisses increased in desperation. He poured out the trauma of the past three hours, you draining your years of unrequited love into the heavy breaths and connection, the intensity increasing the longer you spent joined together. His hands came to your soft waist, and pulled you impossibly close to him, leaving not a scrap of room for a sheet of paper to be wedged in between you. Your own hands travelled to his hair, gripping on the roots for purchase and to keep yourself grounded as best as you could. Whimpers and moans left the both of you when your tongues were brought in to dance. He pushed you against the bathroom counter, pinning you against it and tightening his grip. He pulled away from your lips, but only a little. When he spoke, you could still feel his lips brushing against yours. “T-tell me to stop and I will.” He told you, his breath heavy and his voice barely above a whisper. “But you have to tell me now, amore mio, because once I start, I will never be able to stop. I’ll want you for eternity after tonight. Even in our deaths my soul will search for yours relentlessly. Do you want me to stop?”

“No. I need this. I need you.”

He wasted no more time in connecting his lips to yours once more, this time with more fervour and passion than you ever thought possible. The way he crowded you onto the bathroom cabinet had you lifting yourself up onto it, spreading your legs for him to slot in between them. His lips moved from yours, and he placed chaste kisses along your jawline to your neck, making you giggle a little at the feel of his moustache tickling you. Even though it was a jerk reaction, it still felt incredibly good. His hand moved up your skirts, gliding along your tights and reaching the waistband, pulling them and your panties down with the utmost gentility despite his ever growing desire for you. Your very core now exposed to him, but you felt no embarrassment, no shame, no shyness. The hand that was under your skirts now moved to your vulva and you felt his index finger running through the wetness of your folds. You gasped when he began to play with your clit.

Simultaneously, his mouth nibbled at your ear in between his words. “I never believed I could have you. Never did I think this could happen. I have waited for you for so long now, amore mio. You are everything to me. You are the whole world and everything in it, my reason for living.” He slipped his middle and ring finger inside of you, tapping upwards immediately and hitting that sweet spot over and over again. His fingers had you whimpering. “You are the brightness of the sun and my reason for waking in the morning. You are the calm of the moon and the reason for my serenity. Venus herself is in envy and awe of your beauty. Nothing of this world, of the human mind, could ever come close to your radiance.”

“Copia!”

His words caused an extra fluttering in your stomach when he spoke them, coupled with the feeling of his fingers deep inside you, his thumb working your clit alongside the two that were working invisibly had your entire body shuddering. Your nipples stood erect inside your bra, nudged sometimes by the movement of his body and giving you that extra feeling of overwhelming pleasure. Your mind was numb, filled with nothing but Copia. The low timbre of his voice in your ear, the smell of his cologne, his soft jawline against your cheek. He was everywhere all at once overwhelming you and bathing you in him. “Bene mio.” My happiness. His lips found yours again, his tongue begging for entrance to your mouth as he kissed you feverishly. His fingers working in tandem to bring you over the edge. When you fell, you fell hard. Your toes curling, your eyes seeing white, your breath escaping your body. Your nails dug into his shoulders as he worked you through it, muttering more unintelligible words into your skin that your ears couldn’t understand. Your body felt them though, and came alive at the touch. “Sono innamorato di te.” He told you. He was desperately, undeniably, helplessly in love with you.

You clasped onto his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. His hands, sodden with your cum moved towards your lips once the kiss had finished and you sucked on his fingers, cleaning yourself off of them and earning a gutteral groan in the process. Copia’s cock stood erect in the tightness of his jeans beneath his cassock, barely protruding through the thick material. It was time to show him some mercy and love too. “My beautiful Copia. The kindest man I’ve ever known.” With your own lips attached to the crook of his neck, you began undressing him, sliding his cassock off his shoulders and dropping it unceremoniously to the floor. “You are my reason for living, too. I should have told you sooner but I was too afraid of losing you.” Your hands flew to the waistband of his pants and untied them.

“You could never lose me, amore mio.”

“I know that now. But I didn’t ever want to live a life without you, however small the possibility.” You slipped down off the counter and got on your knees in front of him, the earlier image replaying in Copia’s mind. His hand immediately flew to your hair but his grip tightened when you released his cock from his jeans and gave him a tentative stroke. “I love everything about you,” you licked from base to tip, “your voice,” another lick, “your body,” another, “your brain.” You swirled your tongue around the head, touching repeatedly over his frenulum causing him to hiss. You focused mainly on the head, your own experiences telling you that was generally the most sensitive part, and Copia’s voice and actions confirming. Though his hand was on your head, it was only to keep him cognizant. He wasn’t forcing you to take him deeper like your previous lovers, nor did he guide you at all. You looked up at him through your lashes and saw that his eyes were tight shut. “Look at me, Copia. Watch me on my knees for you, worship you.”

“Amore, I can’t. I will cum too quickly.”

You licked his tip once more. “That’s okay.”

“It’s not. There are more things I wish to do with you tonight.”

His precum was beading at the tip again, and you used your hands to squeeze it into your mouth. Copia watched and pulled completely away from you, almost finishing at the sight of it. “No. Let me take you to bed. If you stay down there a moment longer, I’ll ruin it.”

You stood and kissed him. “You could never.”

He grabbed your hand and took you back into the bedroom, taking the opportunity once you’d arrived to stand and unbutton your habit from behind you. His hands roamed and groped your body as they worked at removing your clothes. He traced every curve he could find, every dip, every bump. When your skin was on display he did the same thing, learning about your body and mapping it out. Your bra was removed quickly so he could admire your breasts and play with your nipples. All the while his lips licked and sucked on your neck, decorating the pristine skin with his marks. He wanted to show the world what he’d done to you, like he was an artist proud of his work. “On the bed, amore mio.” He instructed. You did as he asked and lay on your back, watching him remove his jeans and underwear. All clothes were discarded carelessly on the ground. He had more pressing matters to attend to.

He clambered onto the bed, hovering above your legs. He took his time, tracing his lips from your shins, your thick thighs, your pubic mound, your stomach. He took his time over your nipples, giving them both the proper attention they deserved before he moved up to your neck and finally your lips. He kissed you deeply, passionately, his hands grasping onto your plump hips as his dick needily rubbed against your clit.

No words were exchanged when you felt his cock enter you, stretching you out obscenely to the point where you felt like you’d burst. You broke the kiss, your eyes squeezing tightly shut and your mouth opening in a silent scream. Your entire body felt electrified - your hairs standing on end. Just being cloaked in him, pinned beneath him had you seeing stars, but now he was entering you - finally. He felt incredible, he was incredible.

“No, amore,” you heard him say when he was halfway inside you, his fingers came to caress your cheek once more, “look into my eyes. Look at me while I stretch you.” You obeyed, your eyes locking onto his mismatched ones. Only when he had your complete attention did he continue sinking into you. “Brava ragazza. Take it all like a good girl. Cazzo! So fucking tight.”

You were constricting around him making it damn near impossible for him to breathe. You couldn’t breathe either. “You’re so b-big!” You told him, trying to fight to speak.

He reached the hilt and stayed still, giving you the opportunity to pepper kisses all over his face in your need to be close to him again. Both of your hands were clasped to his cheeks as your lips roamed, yet somehow he still felt too far away. “Sathanas - I can’t move.”

You giggled. “Take your time, my love. You’ve filled me so much, it feels so good.”

He jerked his hips forward. “Merda! Don’t do that. I’m trying not to finish.” There was a big smile on his face as he said it though.

You placed his hand on the bottom of your stomach. “It’s like I can feel you here. You’re so deep.”

His hips moved on their own accord again, but this time he didn’t stop them. His thrusts were shallow and tentative at first, but the more confident he became, the more intense he moved. All of his thrusts hit your cervix causing you to involuntarily cry out each time. He was so deep, filling you in a way you knew you’d become obsessed with. One of your hands was resting near your head, and Copia took the opportunity to grab it and interlock your fingers together. “You’re doing such a good job, my love.” Your voice was breathy as you spoke, so worn out you hardly recognised it. The praise caused Copia to startle forwards and really slam into you. It felt divine. “Copia! Fuck! Do that again.”

“This?” He pulled all the way out and slammed back in.

“Yes! Fuck!”

He did it again.

And again.

And again.

Hitting that spot at the front of your cervix so well. “This is what you wanted, right?” He asked, repeating that motion. Your hand flew down to your clit, your middle finger working away at it quickly in the feral need you had to cum around his cock. He sat back onto his knees to gain more leverage, taking in the sight of you touching yourself while speared on his dick. Every time he entered you, your entire body jiggled with the force. He couldn’t help the noise he made when he saw you for the first time, spread out, pliant and ricocheting off his every move. “Sei così bagnata! You’re so wet. You feel so fucking good!”

“Don’t stop! Please, Copia! Don’t stop!”

“You like that?”

“I’m gonna cum so fucking hard. Please!”

“Vieni per me, amore.” Cum for me, love.

At his request, you shattered. Your back arched off the bed. Somehow your nails found his thigh and scratched down it in an attempt to grasp onto the bedsheets. This, in turn, caused Copia to thrust forward again intensifying the feeling. “I got you. That’s it. Such a good girl for me.”

“Fucking hell!” You finally gasped when you came down from your high. You were lightheaded and it felt like the room was spinning, but your body was on fire. Copia had stopped moving to make sure you were okay. He leant forward and placed another kiss to your forehead before resting his against yours once more. This time he looked directly into your eyes. “Hi.” You whispered, grinning like a lovesick fool.

“Hi.” He copied you.

“Did you-?”

“Not yet, amore mio.”

“Will you cum for me, my love?”

“Are you okay to continue?”

“Of course.”

He nodded and began thrusting again. His movements were deliberately gentle after the intensity of your orgasm but with some reassurance that you were okay, he picked up the pace again. This time he was focusing on his own pleasure, wanting to end your sensitivity and finish quickly. But it seemed like he was too in his head. “You fill me so good, Copia.” You told him. “No one has ever made me feel like this before.”

“N-no?”

“You’re the only one who made me cum. I came so fucking hard because of you. You made me feel incredible.”

“Cazzo!”

“Such a good boy for me.”

“I’m gonna cum! Gonna cum! C-can I cum inside? Please!”

“Cum inside me. Let it all out, sweetheart. That’s it.”

With the final thrust, he emptied himself inside you, painting your walls with his seed. His cock was still buried so deep inside you but his orgasm made him try and get deeper. His head fell onto your chest when he collapsed onto you, a sweaty, exhausted mess but so blissfully fucked out. Your hands immediately went to his hair, stroking through his locks and providing him extra comfort after all the exertion. He tried to pull out of you once he realised the position, but you stopped him from moving, instead turning his head up and kissing him again. Your kisses were short but many, passionate but sleepy. “My Cardinal,” you muttered, “My Copia. I love you.”

“I love you.” He told you. “I always will.”

Previous Day ⛧ Next Day

[deathmetalunicorn1]

What if Eri!reader turned into a baby for 24 hours x Strawhats.

A devil fruit user hit Eri!reader while their was a fight, and she became no more than infant.

-You were being careful, peeking out from behind the barrel on Sunny, looking at your family fighting this no-name crew who tried to do a sneak attack. The only thing this crew had over your own was numbers, being three times the size, but your crew was strong.

-You saw the captain, who had a Devil Fruit ability to revert ages down, sneaking up behind Luffy and you gasped, rushing from your hiding spot as Luffy turned, sensing the captain.

-You leapt in front of the beam, to the horror of your family, “Don’t hurt my big brother!!” and you were hit, sent tumbling backwards as everyone shouted out your name.

-The captain was very quick to learn that attacking the Straw Hats was a very…very bad decision, as your crew all attacked him at the same time.

-Robin had been the one to rush to you, only to find your clothes much bigger on you now and you looked so tiny as you looked up, cooing quietly up at her.

-Ace and Luffy rushed to your side and soon they all saw the same thing as Robin picked you up, you were a toddler now, being reverted to the age of two.

-You were sucking on your thumb, looking around at these people who were all familiar to you, gurgling quietly as your big eyes was looking at all of them.

-Nami had overheard some of the other crew talking, after their captain accidentally hit them, that it was only temporary and would wear off in about a day.

-Despite being upset that you took the hit for Luffy, your family adored that you were so widdle! You were so adorable and small that they couldn’t help but melt!!

-Sanji was careful on feeding you, as you only had a couple of teeth, giving you soft foods so you wouldn’t choke, treating like you were made of glass.

-Robin and Nami were having a field day, taking photos, playing dress up for you, melting when you would giggle, and laugh at the funny sounds they were making.

-Brook was so patient, letting you chew on his fingers, as you weren’t hurting him, and when he sang to you, you just stared up at him, completely in awe, which he did find adorable.

-Usopp and Franky were super gentle with you, sitting on the deck, playing with you, blowing bubbles, making you squeal with delight as you hugged Chopper, thinking he was a plush toy. He would get angry if anyone mentioned it, but he couldn’t be mad at you, so he just enjoyed the cuddles.

-Jinbei became your bed, refusing to move when you fell asleep on his belly, laying there with you for the two hours you were asleep. He felt so touched that you felt so safe to sleep on top of him, it made his heart melt.

-Zoro was a natural with kids, something Sanji and Luffy did tease him for, as he held you expertly when you started fussing, instantly getting you to calm down. Nami took great pleasure taking blackmail photos, cooing how adorable the two of you looked.

-Ace was super gentle as well, holding your hands, helping you walk as you babbled, ‘talking’ to him as he carried on a full-blown conversation with you.

-At the end of the day, you were sleeping in Luffy’s arms, as he blamed himself for you getting hit, despite you not being hurt. He was oddly quiet, looking down at you as you slept, a feeling of calm washing over him as he held you, swearing to protect you.

-When you returned to normal you were in awe, seeing the pictures, “I was so little! Was I really that small?” laughter filled the ship, finding it amusing as they wanted to cherish those memories as well as all the ones they would make with you in your future.

[batrogers]

Okay, fine, revisiting my “Time has PTSD” arguments in light of the most recent updates.

I’ve previously analyzed the question of Time’s reaction to the letter in Dawn pt. 9 here, and established my baseline that – what we do know about Time’s backstory strongly implies that there has been conflict in his Hyrule post-Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask which may have predisposed him to have strong, negative reactions to recent events like Twilight’s injury. I also did a revisit of that in the first part of Moving Forward, where Wild and the others were playing and Time seemed disconnected and out of it.

After the past few updates, I admit it’s striking to me that we’ve now gotten three sets of double-panel reactions where Time is blank for several seconds before actually displaying an emotional response (if he does at all.) It’s a really interesting choice on Jojo’s part.

This is literally every update except for “Enter...” since Dawn pt 9 (an update in which nobody talks at all.) Ever since the letter, Time has had a marked lack of response to the others. He’s reserved; he’s pulled back from treating them as comrades but he’s also retreated from giving orders. I noted in my last analysis that it looked like Time was calling the shots – but he’s not actually continued doing that. Once they set out, it seems like he’s just.... stopped.

Stopped engaging with them, and stopped reacting until something drastic (like the skultula, or bewilderment about the Epona comment) forces him to react, as happened with the likelike ages back.

A brief repeat of my prior analysis: while it’s been three years for us, between the last time Time smiled (when Sky asked him about Malon in ‘Miss Her’) to now, in-comic it has been maybe a few days, depending on how long Twilight took to recover. In that time, they battled Dink (who they don’t yet understand) Twilight ran off alone, showed back up and was taken out in seconds. Time made the split-second decision to save Twilight rather than battle an iron knuckle ala his era, and now we’re here.

Something I noticed on revisiting analysis is that we have seen Time get upset and off-balance before: when Wind began asking him about the Hero’s Legacy as well. Some of what people say when they analyze Time & Twilight stuff is how Time acts towards Twilight, as his son/descendent – but Wind is, in a sense, also Time’s successor and he reacted much the same way to him, too. Notably, Twilight in the midst of his injuries explicitly states some of his stubbornness is about his feelings about said legacy – both when he refuses to rest in the immediate, and while delirious in bed.

Whatever Time’s own burdens, Twilight very well may have actively made Time worse without realizing it. Knowing that someone looks up to you and has pushed himself to nearly dying would upset anyone, nevermind someone who possibly has been a commander (and, therefore, responsible for other people's safety) before too.

The tension of the Chain struggling to to sort themselves out in the dungeon is not helping, although I don't think everyone is oblivious to it. Warriors attempted to reassure him when they discussed the Iron Knuckle's survival, and they do still defer to him (Sky looks for his approval before entering the portal) even if they don't let his bad mood ruin theirs. (eg. Despite his scolding over the skultula, Entrance pt 2 is a playful scene.)

Time was not always like this. He’s playful, teasing the others and showing off his masks; he’s not nosy or controlling– he lets Legend refuse to explain his hair – but not entirely closed off, ala Sky asking him about Malon. I don’t think Jojo intends him to be a grumpy no-fun asshole (she drew this dayglo nonsense in the middle of Twilight taking forever to die), so I wonder.

What is the reason for his stress? And where is Jojo going with it? I’m deeply curious to see how the dungeon is going to play out, when someone who should be among their strongest members is so compromised. I don't think it's gone unnoticed, and my prediction (and, tbh, hope because I like the dynamic) is that Warriors may step in and try to get Time to calm down...

But mostly I wrote this to reiterate my feelings: I don't think this is "a bad mood." Time is legitimately upset, possibly triggered, and I am very sure -- as much as Twilight may have caused it -- it's not just about him.

(And, let me repeat bc I'm sure someone will try to take this and run with it: Twilight is not responsible for this.

He is not guilty in any way with respect to Time's trauma or subsequent behaviour; there's no way he could've known this would happen. I hope if it does keep coming up someone steps between them to cut it off... but acting like Twilight did nothing to set this off downplays how the group dynamic affects everyone and has the potential to cause conflict all on its own.

It's ten times more interesting to see that Time is reacting to something Twilight actually did, than some nebulous attachment to an idea of "family" that overrules sense, reason, or having met each other literally days or weeks ago at best.)

[punchbuggie]

hiiii more bakugou head canons bc i love that silly goober

dimples

i love the idea that he has dimples but no one but like the bakusquad and deku know

like imagine if you will: bakugou getting comfortable around 1A and genuinely laughing at something and they all see cute little dimples in his cheeks

then like todoroki pokes his cheek and is just like “you have dimples.” and then everyone freaks out and theyre like “AWWWW BAKUGOU!!!!” and tackle him in hugs

and then he tries to fight them off and is like “ugh i hate you people” but in reality he really loves the affection from his class and appreciates them and their constant reassurance that they genuinely like him for him and not because of his quirk

this more of a 1A head canon but i think if anyone AND I MEAN ANYONE were to start calling baku a villain or something theyd go F E R A L

i read a fanfic on ao3 about it and I LOVE IT

it was so incredibly cute and i 100% think it would happen (i’ll try to find it and add the link at the bottom)

baku totally loves to cook and bake for everyone especially eri

he would def be a big brother for her and be so incredibly soft with her but like only 1A and the erasermic fam would know

he’d totally still be >:( on the outside, but so incredibly soft for eri and she knowsss

she knows she has him wrapped around her finger but she’s a little angel and would never use that against him

maybe if she wants an apple but she deserves it!

honestly i think mitsuki wouldve taught katsuki to be a feminist from a young age (as shown by him fighting fairly against uraraka)

the girls would totally find this out after training with him in class and like sure theyre nervous at first, (who wasnt?) but they slowly learn that he’s one of the only ones in 1A to fully treat them equally

they probably start voluntarily partnering with him with kiri doesnt

after the other boys realize this, they feel bad for not treating their classmates equally and apologize and promise to fight fairly

i love all the comparisons to bakugou being a pomeranian so i think his friends (we’ll say denki) figured it out and tease him mercilessly about it

every single one of the bakusquad members has his pfp as a pomeranian

mina and denki have matching photos of pomeranians with bakugou’s hero suit editted on

sero has one with a chef hat that’s been posed to look like he’s mixing a bowl

and kirishima has a photo of the happiest pomeranian ever with so many little hearts messily drawn around it bc he loves his boyfriend

ofc they all know when they need to stop teasing him, they are his best friends after all

they never take it too far and have learned how to read his subtle facial expression and body language changes so they never upset him or push him too far

bakugou secretly thinks the pomeranian jokes are funny but refuses to let any of his friends or boyfriend know

anyway!! i hope you enjoyed more of my hc about the silliest boy

heres part one: https://www.tumblr.com/punchbuggie/734569823080677376/my-favorite-bakugou-headcanons-mamas-boy-like

[capybonara]

The Life of Cironus

Up next, we are sharing some insight on Cironus and what makes him tick. This one's a bit lengthy, fair warning! Everything is under a cut!

If you're ready...LET'S GO!!

Cironus the Bard the initial post that inspired all this

Every Zorca enjoys a bit of singing and revelry. In the face of extinction, what can one do but try and laugh in its face? Cironus is this positivity in physical form, but something about the way he carries himself tends to upset the council of his pod. 

Bards are trained to sing the old hymns and work to add new ones to the archives. You won’t find anyone who’d say Cironus couldn’t sing, or play well. But nothing he creates matches the usual style of the ancestors. Some might say his passion is too loud. Cironus has never figured out what it was exactly they find unappealing, as the elders never elaborate. But the elder bards refuse to take him on as an apprentice. His grandmother seems to encourage this choice (much to the chagrin of his mother who feels she has no choice but to follow her wishes)

He does his best to shrug off this exclusion and finds time in private to practice his music. When he’s away from the elders’ judging eyes, Cironus finds he can truly be himself by expressing all his feelings through the songs he writes and sings.

🌳 Family and Relationships 🌳

As one of the middle children of his immediate family, it's easy for everyone to ignore him. He doesn’t have the expectations that are pressed on Sardon, the responsibilities Kaska has taken on, or the doting attention given to young Kaso. But Cironus was raised to be a kind-hearted boy, and he's always wanted to do his part to help the pod by becoming a bard.

The Grandmother Matriarch - Cironus respects and loves his grandmother, even though the latter can come at an emotional price. She has to make difficult decisions, and some members are treated differently depending on who is highest or lowest on the family hierarchy. The Matriarch is loving, stubborn, harsh, protective. One can understand the complexity of it all and still be frustrated. Cironus’ relationship with his grandmother changed when his particular talents started growing. There’s something she knows, and has decided neglect over nurture will solve this “issue.”

Lurona lecturing Sardon (art by @werewolfsister!)

His Mother, Lurona - A middle child herself, she faces a different kind of pressure from her mother, the Matriarch. Among her sisters she is the most successful at raising healthy children, so she is expected to put the pressure on them to be good examples for the pod. Lurona is constantly pushing Sardon to have children, and the same behavior pushed her oldest daughter past the brink that caused her to permanently leave the pod. Lurona doesn’t want to ruin her relationship with her children, but she doesn’t know anything else other than what her own mother taught her. And the Matriarch’s hovering presence doesn’t give her time to be honest with her kids and tell them what they should really do.

Sardon - The first born of the family, Lurona almost lost him while she was pregnant. He was born small, weak and was constantly sick. Because of this she was extremely protective of him and worked hard to keep him fed. Her actions paid off, as Sardon became one of the larger members of the group and the fiercest. He’s scarred from years of fighting to earn his place among other zorca his age, and from his job as a monster hunter.  He looks imposing but like Cironus, he was brought up to be a good-natured boy. His days of being bullied also taught him to be sympathetic and protective toward others smaller than he is.

He doesn’t know the full story about their missing sister, but it’s why he’s supportive of his other siblings. Sardon feels the elders’ behavior towards Cironus is unfair but since he doesn’t have a place to say so he encourages his brother to keep being as loud as he wants. Kaska has her own issues that Sardon has suspected and he has become an outlet for her when she needs to vent. And like everyone else, he watches out for Kaso, and probably spoils him more than others do, allowing him to venture off with him and Cironus when he’s not supposed to.

Kaska - She is Lurona’s only daughter. It's not known if her missing sister is dead or not, and the child born before Kaso was lost at birth. There was a lot of pressure on Kaska when she reached maturity and became another matriarch candidate. In an attempt to shield Kaska from the Matriarch's influence, Lurona encouraged Kaska to become a diplomat which allowed her more freedom to leave the pod. She is the human equivalent of a teenager, and she struggles with being a people-pleaser and overachiever. Kaska wants to make her mother and grandmother proud, and struggles with guilt whenever she does anything slightly rebellious.

Cironus is the devil on her shoulder, and Sardon is the devil hiding his horns, both finding reasons for her to rebel. Regardless, she confides in them often with her own frustrations as a diplomat or when she thinks criticism from her elders was unfair. Kaska finds she can’t be herself around the elders but her brothers give her that freedom. It’s a fine line she tries to walk; being the proper little daughter, but finding time to figure herself out that doesn’t revolve around family politics.

Kaso in the kelp forests with Sona and Quita (Owned/created by @werewolfsister and @junco8 art by @werewolfsister!)

Kaso - The youngest and last of Lurona’s children. As one of the few children born into the pod, Kaso is spoiled and doted on constantly. He is forward, overly friendly and naive because of this. Kaso has experienced none of the dangers outside his pod or encountered people with ill intentions. His family tries to keep it that way but at the same time teach him kindness and some common sense.

Sardon and Cironus spoil him in their own way, by allowing him to tag along when they venture out. He's never subjected to the kinds of stunts his older brothers used to do in their youth, but there are stories he promises he won't tell their mother.

Link, and Zelda

Cironus came upon Link and Zelda by chance when they were traveling and doing surveys across Hyrule. Zelda expressed interest in learning about his people but both agreed that expedition would have to be put on hold as the kingdom's restoration took precedence.

He met Link again during the events of The Upheaval and Ganondorf’s return. For his own reasons, Cironus joined Link on his quest, and traveled around Hyrule, offering the swordsman support through his music.

Like other people of Hyrule, Cironus has a high opinion about Zelda. And he’s one of the few people who recognize Link on sight. Link may not be a verbal person but due to certain powers of insight, Cironus is able to pick up on what they want to convey.

Sidon and Yona

Some time after the events of BotW but years before the Upheaval, Cironus met Yona and the two struck up a friendship that eventually developed into something more. Later on, he was introduced to Sidon and the three formed a polycule. It was a relationship outside his family that allowed Cironus to feel safe enough to be himself, and in the years he was able to grow in confidence thanks to their support.

They were aware of the nomadic nature of the family so Cironus couldn’t spend time with them on a regular basis, but their reunions were always joyful come spring and summer. During his travels with Link he was able to reunite with them and help expel the sludge from Zora’s Domain. The betrothal of Sidon and Yona came as a surprise but it was nothing that would put a damper on their relationship.

However, when his elders found out they sought to put an end to it. Not wanting their family to do anything to tarnish their budding alliance with the Domain, the council told Cironus to end his visits. In their eyes, the new king and queen of Zora’s Domain did not have time to “play” with someone as irresponsible and bumbling as Cironus. Reluctantly, Cironus did as he was told, and told Yona and Sidon he had "to move on” and left the Domain before they could get a word in edgewise. Since then, Cironus refuses to enter the main area of the Domain.

🔎 Would you like to know more? 🔎

• Subjects of interest! Music is his biggest interest, of course! When he was younger, he had the privilege to see the Indigo-Go’s live and music has been his passion ever since. He enjoys listening and studying other songs/tunes and finding ways to add that to his style of play. He’s practiced on every instrument he can get his hands on! Cironus loves having jam sessions with other musicians, he loves creating/joining in a beautiful harmony! 

His love for music also branches into the history of Bards and their craft, along with the songs of their past. Cironus loves history, be it their own, or the stories of other cultures! He’s very inquisitive but he never has the chance to explore too far inland to get a glimpse of worlds past the shoreline. 

Food seems obvious, but zorca don’t have the luxury of cooked meals. So he’s fascinated by recipes others have created, and the process of how they’re made. You put these ingredients together to make bread? Amazing! Mix all these together and you get a delicious sauce? AWESOME! A cooked fish tastes better and can be more nutritious with these added elements? That’s INCREDIBLE!!!

• Cironus’ nickname

When he was a child, his mother would jokingly and lovingly call him “Sir” short for Cironus when he asked for things. He wasn’t demanding but he did get a kick out of how it sounded, like his mother was deferring to his “authority.”

“Ma can we go here?” “Yes, Sir!” “HEEE!!”

His brother uses the name in a more teasing manner. When Cironus does get demanding, or nit picky about something, Sardon will call him “Sir” to remind him they’re not in a social situation where his behavior might be seen as appropriate.

In silly situations when they’re plotting devious shenanigans, Kaska will salute and say “Yes, Sir!”

• What makes him happy?

The whimsical answer is music, food, and having the opportunity to party. He showcases “typical” behavior most people see zorca exhibit from a surface level.

The deeper, secret desire is the freedom to be himself and to share the healing power of his music to others. His family’s smiles hide the family drama of their politics and he and his siblings are caught in the middle. Cironus’ talents are not appreciated, or ignored and it leaves him frustrated because he has so many feelings he wants to let out, which he does through his music. When he’s away from his pod he briefly has this freedom, but at the cost of being alone. 

He’s learning what his abilities can do, and there is an indescribable joy when he can share it.

So let me be enemy to the noose and the fading willLet me be open armsTell the living world I am grateful stillLet me be musicAnd let me be the joyful sound

• How do they handle anger?

Cironus struggles with expressing in plain words how he feels. But he wears his heart on his sleeve so his expression is hint enough. He knows a big angry zorca may look intimidating so he tries to avoid conflict and will step away from whoever upset him. He’s not like his brother who can be confrontational, or uses physical means to let out steam. 

Like any other feeling he has, he’ll let it out through his music. You’ll find him on a secluded beach shredding out a tune to match what he feels. 

His personal beliefs

Cironus believes in generosity, compassion and family. Zorca follow these and work to keep a close community otherwise they cannot survive. He will treat those outside his pod in the same way unless they give a reason why he shouldn’t (and you gotta try really hard to piss him off).

He’s generous with his time, his music and food. He has deep empathy for others and is compassionate for those who struggle with a lack of community or family. These are things he will gladly give with the other person’s consent.

• Strengths and Weaknesses

Physically he’s in peak condition. Cironus is round, but he is solid muscle, and his layers of fat make him impervious to the biting cold and lightning. He can use his whale-tooth guitar as a blunt force instrument, and his voice can shatter rock. He has high stamina and speed when he’s in the water, and he’s a powerful jumper both in water and on land.

His unending optimism will either annoy the hell out of you till you leave, or you’re eventually infected with the idea that life is worth living. His Songs of Healing will cure the ache of one's heart, emotionally and physically. And in rarer cases – if one has it hidden in their hearts – he can bring out a Song of Awakening which inspires an individual and helps them reach a new level of potential.

The Ballad of the Wind Fish drains him each time he creates a Song of Healing or Awakening, and it may take a few days till he’s fully recovered. He doesn’t do well in extreme heat especially if he doesn’t have water to help hydrate.

Cironus may be quick to come to the defense of others but he has a hard time speaking up for himself. If anyone has negative things to say about him, he just nods and leaves it alone. He says his skin is thick, and doesn’t need the support.

Coming Soon: The Ballad of the Wind Fish!

[candiedspit]

when I was lucid

Tomas fucked like a girl. 

This was disappointing. I wanted him to wrap his muscles–pink, buoyant muscles–around me until I disappeared. I wanted to make use of my legs. But he mewled like a kitten and hardly touched me. 

Am I hurting you? He asked every few seconds. 

No, I said and said. 

A cigarette was still burning on the nightstand. The sunlight outside waned like a feeling. When he finished, he rolled off of me and I got up to get dressed. 

I’ve gotta go, I said, snagging my coat on. 

And left him with his vapors and dirty skin. 

There was a cab outside waiting for me. Life was like this, one magic act. I yawned and a man offered me champagne. Things appeared. I did my lipstick in the backseat, caught the driver looking at me in the rearview mirror. 

What? I asked, popping my lips. 

He didn’t say anything. I rolled my eyes. He left me at my family’s restaurant where I met the rest of the boogaloos. I entered through the back door, smelling of sex and strawberry perfume. I liked making scenes. Another reason Tomas disappointed me–no bruises to coat with foundation, no angered calls from my brothers. I’m the youngest in our family; the only girl, too. This allows me many advantages. Everyone treats me as though I’m made of glass. 

Where you been, dope? Nick asked. 

I had four older brothers and Nick was the closest to me in age. He had spent his recent twenty fifth birthday in the white gallows of Hawaii, dodging waterfalls. I was twenty years old. It was only the brothers there. Dad was working. I never knew what that meant, though there were hints. All that really mattered was his mood when he came home. Sometimes, he went to his office and drank. Nothing could stir him, his misery like a furnace heating the entire house. Other times, he came home bearing gifts, stories and quick cracks at everyone. He was a laser beam. I take after him in some respects. For example, my beautiful, long nose. And my green, slanted eyes. I’m also a natural depressive. Prone to fits, slamming doors, refusing to eat for days. Once, I told a shrink I feel like as empty as a clock. He told me everybody feels like that. 

Not like me, I told him. Not like me. 

I was with Tomas, I told Nick as I took a seat at the table. 

It was quiet. Robin, Frank and my oldest brother Jonathan fiddled with their fingers, sniffling. I made a face. 

What is this? I asked. A fucking funeral parlor? What’s going on?

Dad lost a bet, Jonathan said. A big one.

Shit, I said. What do we do?

Not you. Nick said. But we’ve got till this evening to get it sorted. 

I was never allowed out on any ventures. This upset me. I could handle anything the boys could. A little blood. A little guts. It didn’t bother me much. I had a strong stomach. 

There’s a cab coming for you, Robin said. Just stay at the house. 

Can’t we play a game first? I asked. I loved beating them at cards, the dimwits. 

No time, Jonathan said. 

I got up and grabbed a soda from the fridge before heading towards the door. 

Be safe, I said. 

Always. 

I never knew what time it was. It was probably around one in the morning when the boys came back with dad. I’d spent the afternoon watching TV with mom while she did my nails. Dad was furious, cursing anyone that came to mind; Mickey Mouse, God, Judy Dame. As Nick slinked upstairs, I caught his arm. His shirt was rimmed with what I knew was blood. 

Are you okay? I asked. 

He nodded. I kissed his cheek and let him go. 

I wasn’t in school. I filled my time with house parties, dungeons, anything that sparkled. That weekend, I was in the basement with Katie-Marie, a girl I’ve known since we were four. I didn’t have many friends. But I had good ones, the ones I had. Katie-Marie was wonderful to be around. I could tell her anything. Most of the time, I complained about Tomas. 

Let go of him, Katie-Marie said. He’s nothing but a pain. Not worth the time. 

I’m compelled, I said. There’s something about him I can’t get enough of. 

Katie-Marie did another line, I followed suit and laid back down on the couch, drank some soda. I often imagined burning my nose off; sulfur and love confessions. I listened to Katie-Marie sing along to some girl pop band until I felt as though someone had thrown me into the electric chair except I was innocent. All of my nerves were on high alert. I fluttered my eyes, seeing the faint image of a lamb on the ceiling. There was a cosmic rhinestone in the very center of my forehead. I could feel every one of my thoughts like arrows shot from the other side. I laughed and laughed, couldn’t tell when I wasn’t laughing. Katie-Marie kissed my cheek. I licked her palm. I began speaking. 

Are we not the damndest? Are we not the ones? I could drink my youth from a shot glass. It’s going to rain. I’m the first horse who realized he can run. And I’m running and I’m never stopping. I’m a cunt. I’m Daddy. He thinks he’s so big, I’m bigger. 

I looked over at Katie-Marie. 

He thinks he’s big but I’m bigger, I said over and over. 

I have this dream, I found myself telling Tomas. That dud, dull sparkler; magic amulet with no power within it. I didn’t like him. How many times could I rap at his door? A shift, I expected him to be someone else every time. The person I loved. And each time, it was only him in his boy shorts, grease king, cigarette burns in the blankets, ashtrays on the carpet, the scent of a life lived far too long. It had been four days since we’d seen each other; I’d spent the time crying, masturbating and crying, punching his number into the phone and then chickening out. He looked at me, rubbed my cheek with his bandaged thumb. 

What do you dream? He asked. 

I’m Christ at the table. And the skies are made of lace, there are gingerbread cookies, rugs made of skin, a thousand diamonds, an itch in my teeth. A cock between my hands. Psalms rising and falling beneath my eyelids. I am the son of God. I am going to be betrayed by the phony who loves me as the wind loves to tickle the trees. I am going to die for you. 

I pointed towards the ceiling. 

But for the moment, I am full of wine, singing drunk. And the colors explode. Someone is speaking. A beautiful woman with her breasts exposed. And I hear the sound of what comes next. I hear the crackle of electricity; lightning bolts, rashes of rain pissing from above. I hear a hundred languages, babbling over one another like threads in a wicker basket, streams of fish. I hear a thumping, a grinding, ecstatic horsepower. I see the black coughs of genocide. I see Americans on the street, hiding from a wall of ash. I see America. 

You’re insane, he said as though astonished. Absolutely insane. 

It was a Tuesday evening. I was at the restaurant with Nick, playing cards. The other boys were upstairs, running dishes, cleaning tables. Outside, I could hear the fantastic drip of rain. I beat Nick at cards for the third time in a row. 

You’re letting me win, I complained. 

He laughed. 

I’m really that bad, he said. That’s the truth. 

It got quiet as I got up to get another soda, one for me and one for him. I cracked open the can and sat back down. Nick was looking at me. 

Julia, he said. 

I looked at him. He never called me by my name. 

 Why don’t you get away from here? You could. Dad would pay for school, somewhere upstate. You could leave all this shit behind. It’s not good for you to be in the periphery of what we do. Why don’t you? 

I looked at his hands, a cross tattooed on his wrist. I loved him like a mother does, like a knife.

Why don't you go fuck yourself? I asked. And said nothing else.

I set up another card game. And let him win.

[a-moment-captured]

No one cares that your bestie get to see Jack 2 times in a row or what she is wearing. Some of us can’t even get tickets to Gazebo because of life, bills, groceries, kids, families, and school. How nice it must be to have the money to do what you want🙄. So many of us can’t! I bust my ass and can’t get my head above water and then come post from you or here probers about what they have or are doing or have bought. Read the fucking room. Some people are struggling! Shut the fuck up about it. We get it.

Anon, I sympathize with you, I really do, but you have no right to come to my page to be upset how people spend THEIR MONEY that they have worked their ass off for!

I know first hand, better than anyone, how hard working in the ED is. Ree bust her ass for her patients night after night! Giving them the best and highest standard of care.

I refuse to let you or anyone else try to tarnish that just because you want to be jealous as fuck and for no damn reason.

I can’t go! I’ve got my son’s overnight zoo trip one weekend and graduation the following weekend so I won’t be able to go either but am I crying about it? No! That’s life! That’s how it goes sometimes. I get so frustrated and annoyed with anons on this app trying to dictate how other people live their own damn lives.

We all have bills! We all have families! We are all busting our asses to do what we have to do. So it’s her fault that she busted her ass to become an RN, make her mom proud, and make the money she does?! She isn’t allowed to treat herself?!

I’m sorry you don’t like me being happy for one of my best friends living her best life! I won’t stop! She has been my biggest cheerleader, confidant, and the extra nudge I need some days when I feel like I’m doing nothing right. Life is a struggle for everyone! We all have different struggles but one struggle does not outweigh someone else’s.

I have a child I have to take care of. An autistic child at that! Want to know my biggest worry? Worrying if I’ll live long and well into old age so he doesn’t have to live without me because I’m the one that knows how to do it all and take care of him.

I’m sorry you can’t go. You are not alone. But don’t try to make others feel bad because they get to do something you can’t.

[oddclangen]

OddClan year 1

Shystar - leader

Old leader of the clan, she pretty set in her ways and refuses to change, But she will go whith compromises as long as its benefits the clan.

She choose Fleckglint to be the deputy despite his young age becouse she believes that he might come whith some fresh perspective. But she came to regret it later this year whith all new faces he brought.

Saplingspeck and Timberwater are her very good friend they been through a lot together.

Right now she in Medicine den. One of PatchouliClan warriors wounded her while on she was patrol.

Fleckglint - deputy

Special little fella. Believes that Clan needs to change so he uses deputy position to ensure outsiders can get into clan.

Later this year he and Medicine cat Whiskersnow developed cute crushes on each other and after some miscommunication they became mates. She now pregnant whith his kits.

Whiskersnow - Medicine cat

Others members of the clan kinda upset that since Whiskersnow is busy whith her future litter of kits she wont have time treating injuries. Which is a shame she a very talented healer.

For some time before Fleckglint confessed his feeling to her she also considered becoming mates whith Timberwater, but ultimately realised that her feeling are not mutual and thay see each others very differently.

Admirers Beamstripe for have brave she is and will always complete task given

Onefur - warrior

Oldest warrior currently, honestly he looks like trouble, but actually really cares for his clanmates. Loves all of them.

Being the oldest beside Shystar he also know a lot of storie about how OddClan used to be.

He very close Beamstripe since she was a kit, practically treats her as a little sister. They would often train together and share pray.

Saplingspeck - warrior

There honesty not much i can say abou Saplingspeck, she just has nice vibes. She one of the few cats who treat new cats kindly.

Was grabbed by eagle this year, but she fine now. But is slowed her mentorship of Condorpaw and because of it she still apprentice.

Good friend whith Honeytuft

Originally was Loyal, but changed to Charismatic later this year.

Honeytuft - warrior

Originally she was fierce, but i guess developing crush on Onefur decided to be more bloodthirsty so he would like her more.

Mentored Beamstripe and very proud of training some one so talented.

Timberwater - warrior

At firs shameless cat later decided to be more adventurous.

Still has crush on Whiskersnow and absolutely hates Fleckglint (Hope nothing bad happens.)

Also constantly argues whith Honeytuft.

Mentored Wishfeather but doesnt think much of anything positive about them.

I feel like she has a lot of complicated feeling in mind, hope she can sort them out.

Bigflip - warrior

She appeared once saying that StarClan guided her here and whith Fleckglint convincing other to agree.

The truth is that she lied, no StarClan guided her here, but Dark Forest. Her clan vorships them and consider anyone who have bond whith them chocen.

She doesnt know why Dark forest guided her here, but its better keep her past secret. Just in case.

Venti - warrior

He was abandoned by his Twolegs on the road and if not for Fleckglint would died of greencough. He fine now, but seems like experience left him little traumatized.

He developed crush on Fleckglint after that but sees that he very happy whith his current mate and afraid to confess his feeling.

Beamstripe - Warrior

Everyone darling. Very active cat and if she has free time spends it on battle training.

She often agrees whith Fleckglint but only because she doesnt like Shystar much more. But she doesnt like both of them.

Whishfeather - Warrior

New warrior, she still getting a hang of things after her apprenticeship. Timberwater teched her to be more social whith whith other which is a little surprising.

She best friends whith Codorpaw and tries cheer her up, because despite being the same age she still an apprentice.

Condorpaw - Apprentice

I really like her sprite :D

She got hut by one of PatchouliClan warrior which delaid her apprenticeship even further. But others support her and tell her that everything will be okay. Especially her best friend Wishfeather.

Really close whith Whiskersnow.

FallenCricket - Medicine cat.

Recently joined, mother of three, she was exiled from PatchouliClan for something that she doesnt want to talk about, but other cats have a pretty good guess.

Her three kits Newtkit, Hazelkit and Whistlekit making themself pretty comfortable in the clan.

[cuppachar]

Rewatching jamie in early season 1 is so hard cause like. I wish they knew what he was going through. I remember being young and hurting and so mean because of it. And it was so not okay of me. But also, I'd see everyone else allowed to be silly and sensitive and emotional and mediocre and I wasn't allowed to be anything but tough, and it made me so mad. And I just want to hug him and tell him I get it, and that it's gonna be okay.

Hi Anon

Thank you for that insight and hearing your experience.

I get you completely - re-watching S1 just reminds me that we do not know what's going on inside other people or know what has happened to them. I think it's why I love that scene with Roy in S3 where he's doing the press conference after Isaac's aggression to the abusive football fan.

'to do what he did today, even though it was wrong, I give him love.'

Knowing some of Jamie's background (and I wish we got more to be honest, but's an ensemble cast with multiple characters who have complex issues and/or dynamics, so it's limited in that regards) and seeing S1 again, it's such a different viewing and understanding of a character and makes Jamie so much more human and real. Jamie isn't just a prick. He's a prick with trauma and reasons.

I don't see cocky prick Jamie who thinks he's best who never passes because everyone else is shit - I see Jamie, who's terrified of what his dad will do to him if he isn't dominant.

I don't see a Jamie who doesn't celebrate his teammate's birthdays and eat cake - I see a Jamie who's been told to treat his teammates as 'assists' and has diet plans that don't include cakes or pastries because he has a weight he needs to keep.

I don't see a Jamie who doesn't want to greet his new teammate - I see Jamie, who flinches at fast movements and doesn't trust easily. I see a Jamie who's realised he's not their only ace anymore, and that terrifies him because of the implications that may have with his father (Imagine the writers hadn't gone down the rehab route for James Tartt Snr in S3 and how Zava's introduction and place in the team would have caused some serious consequences for Jamie, both psychologically and physically).

I don't see the Jamie who cockily refuses to 'practice' - I see a Jamie who shifted into 'I don't like angry men shouting at me' (and at some point pre-canon, I imagine Jamie's hero-worship of Roy was destroyed and tainted when he met 'Shouty, I don't give a shit-Roy-Kent And I'll take out my negative emotions on you, even if you deserve it or not' and Jamie's poster hero , who he'd imagined stepping out of the wall and putting his dad through the said wall was gone and Jamie's automatic response was to be a prick in defence/offence.)

I don't see a Jamie who brought two dates to the auction - I see a Jamie who wasn't sure if he could get Keeley to bid on her own boyfriend, so he brought another plus one instead, terrified that he'd have to have sex with an older woman like those ladies behind the glass windows in Amsterdam. Watching that episode back really icks me out, and seeing Jamie's response back when I first watched it, you could mistake Jamie's reaction to both Keeley and Roy's 'teasing' as Jamie just being mocked and teased, but re-watching it, I see a Jamie who's really uncomfortable with the attention he's getting and upset at his rival and girlfriend cruelly mocking him (of course, they don't know about his experience in Amsterdam) but I'm always struck at how Jamie walks away from the table, from the both of them, because he's upset (and it kind of hits me even more, 'cause I think that Jamie doesn't even know why he's so upset with how much he's suppressed the memory, the implication of what his father orchestrated despite his tender age).

Although, I think they could have had a bit more Jamie and Ted interaction or reflection on Jamie's relationship with his father and/or trauma (because there did seem to have link to Ted's panic attacks, especially when you consider Ted's panic attack during the match in S2, because you can hear Jamie's dad verbally abusing Jamie from the S1 final as Ted spirals, which was really interesting and I only realised this recently) I really do appreciate Ted's "I promise you there is something worse out there than being sad, and that's being alone and being sad. Ain't no one in this room alone" sentiment, but I just really wished he'd reached out to Jamie, because Jamie wasn't just alone and sad, he was scared and traumatised, and although he didn't verbalise it in S2, he obviously had no safe places or people he felt he could turn to, so he not only left the profession he loves, he left the country.

Anyway, my ramble is over.

In summary, you only really get a better understanding of Jamie by re-watching Season 1 and seeing him in a different light after watching S2/S3.

[aroaceconfessions]

I'm so goddamn tired. So my mom is usually nice and sweet, but has glaring negative sides she refuses to talk about. I'm aroace, I've told her that I find genitals gross and sex repulsing when it's on TV (it's quite a lot on tv where I live without much age ratings, so I've been bombarded with it since childhood) ansld I absolutely don't want to ever do it myself l. Yet she doesn't believe me, blames it on my social anxiety (I... Don't think asexuality one of the symptoms, a crappy childhood is), and tells me "you'll find someone eventually", "I want grandkids" (help Bigbro get a girlfriend and you'll probably get some), and stuff like that often. She has started telling me that it's okay if I like girls, even though I've said I'm not into girls either. We also recently went on a trip and she claims that most of the luggage was mine despite it clearly being hers. As we recently moved she claims the mess that makes it hard for her to have guests is mine, in the 2 years we have lived here, she has had 20 separate groups of guests, I've had 1 singular friend over in the same time.

Something else the whole family does but refuses to acknowledge is that any of the other 3 gets crapped on by each other or someone else, they take it out on me. First they complain about how terrible the other person was, then treat me exactly how the other person supposedly treated them, and if I get upset or mirror them they get furious over someone like me can treat them like that because they aren't like that at all, apparently.

I really want to cut all ties to my family now and live all alone with a dog in a forest somewhere, I'm just so tired of being treated like that. But with my social anxiety I don't dare to speak much to strangers, shop alone, order food outside internet, get a job, I'm truly a poor excuse for a human being like they say, but it still hurts being treated like that where everyone try to decide my life but me because my ideas aren't good enough...

I feel like a poorly treated garbagebin, filled with everyone's trash and kicked around while I'm actually for holding creative stuff...

Submitted March 30, 2023

[loominggaia]

DiamondWaltz Hey love the Lore and not to sound rude but does Sygbarne always wail even during the day and I have another question, which is, is Prince Hestal child still at the Boarding School in Clydera and does he suspect/know that his father had his mother killed?

I don't think Sygbarne wails non-stop all day long, but she does scream quite a lot during her waking hours. This is partly due to her mental condition, as she can't express herself as articulately as most people, so she just resorts to making lots of noise when she's upset.

But to be honest, I think anyone in her situation would be screaming their heads off, disabled or not. She suffers pointless medical treatments, she is neglected and lonely, confined to a small space her entire life, and desperately just wants love and affection from her family, which she is denied.

She can see the outdoors, but she can't go there. She wants out of that room. She wants her parents to stay, to play with her and treat her like a normal daughter rather than a broken thing to be fixed. She wants the annoying doctors to leave her alone. She is incredibly frustrated by the way she's treated, and her own inability to advocate for herself. It's no wonder poor Sygbarne screams...she wishes that someone would hear her cries and come rescue her! She truly is a princess locked up in a tower, just waiting for a knight in shining armor to set her free.

As for Prince Hestal's son, yes, he is currently still at boarding school. He will remain there through his college years, and then Hestal will have to find somewhere else to send him to keep the boy out of his hair. Probably the military. Hestal just doesn't want anything to do with fatherhood, he's middle aged but still acts like a frat boy. It's pathetic...I think his son is probably better off being distanced from him anyway.

The whole assassination thing was pretty hush-hush. Hestal only admitted it to his parents because he freaked out and needed their help to keep the law off his butt. Mommy Juvella and Daddy Gultopp paid a lot of money to keep people quiet, but warned Hestal that if this ever happens again, he's on his own. So, he is extra protective of his new wife, even though he hates her even more than his ex. She's super snotty and high-maintenance, but he knows if anything bad happens to her, everyone will suspect him and he'll be screwed, so he keeps her surrounded by security at all times. (Hilariously enough, she's boinking her entire security team but refuses to touch her husband. Karma, lol.)

Hestal's son doesn't know how his mom really died. His grandparents told him that she died of some illness and refuse to discuss it further. But he was quite young when she passed and doesn't remember much of her anyway. He's aware that his dad is a neglectful scumbag and doesn't really want anything to do with his stupid family. He also doesn't like boarding school, so I think it's possible that one day he will get sick of it all and just run off to a faraway land. It's not like anyone will miss him, right?

There are many adventures to be had outside of his kingdom! Hopefully he will meet people out there who appreciate him for who he is, rather than treating him like an unwanted burden.

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[asktadckrew]

Here is a lore dump on jess-

jess is nonbinary and aroace. they seem very guarded when you first meet them but they actually trust people really easily. they love hyping people up and is well known for their pep talks. but they also hate bullies, so when they found out pomni was dating jax they were like, “you could do so much better please break up with this man”. they’ve grown to accept him being a relationship with pomni even though he still doesn’t have their approval and he doesn’t know they exist. jess met pomni when they were in middle school. some kids were picking on pomni and Jess saw this. they got really mad and dumped water on the other kids then they dragged pomni away. after that they sort of became pomni’s bodyguard and thus pomni decided they were best friends. things were great for years until pomni got stuck in the digital circus. at the time, she and jess were living together and jess was put as pomni’s emergency contact, so they were the one that was called to be told that pomni was gone. jess was alone for ages because of it. they felt like it was their fault that pomni was gone because they didn’t protect her from whatever took her(they thought she had been kidnapped). every time they were in the apartment, they felt the absence of pomni everyday. finally they ended up moving to a different apartment in the same building so that they could still hold onto pomni in some capacity.

so now let’s go to when the tadc crew came back to the real world. they ended up in pomni and jess’s old apartment which has been abandoned since jess moved out. pomni immediately assumes her best friend is dead when in reality jess has just moved a few floors up into a smaller apartment. pomni refuses to tell anyone why she’s upset when they get back since she had been trying to get back the entire time she was in the circus and she should be happy to be back. pomni grieves for her friend in silence and then promises to jess’s sprit that she’ll live her best life like jess would have wanted her to.

things get settled and then one day, pomni is out getting the mail when all of a sudden she sees jess, getting their own mail. the two friends reunite and pomni blurts out that she thought jess was dead. jess explains that they just moved apartment, before admitting that they thought pomni was kidnapped. the two quickly slip back into their old friendship, except now there’s a catch.

no one else knows who jess is or that they exist at all. pomni does want to introduce jess to everyone but she likes having them to herself. plus she slightly paranoid that jess will end up cussing out jax cause of the way he treats gangle. and anyway, jess’s apartment has become her safe place for when things get too crazy. but now whenever pomni leaves the apartment to see jess, she doesn’t tell anyone that she’s leaving so everyone thinks she’s been kidnapped. once she spent the night at jess’s and everyone thought jax had locked her in their room. jax was very offended by this.

but yeah, that’s what i got so far, i have a very basic idea on how everyone meets jess but that will happen later. thank you for listening to the lore dump, heheh

Yasss slay

[jalebi-likes]

Do you think Mayank and Gunjan both over reacted to the lies nupur and Samrat told? Like Gunjan was so angry at samrat for the best,I can understand feeling betrayed but she was mainly angry that he lied,but didn't she herself help nupur lie to mayank about the project?Also samrat made it clear he values her as a friend not just bcz of the bet bcz if that was the case why'd he continue the friendship after talent parade?on the other hand was the project such a big issue that Mayank said suchean stuff to Nupur?She was genuinely very sorry,and when she had lied to him they weren't even friends and later she did start doing the work herself didn't she?

Hello hello,

I think Mayank and Gunjan acted very rationally for their age and circumstance.

Mayank is a young lad who really wants to grow up quickly and start earning because he knows how hard his mother is working to put him through school. He's not the most financially well off and college is his way to give financial security at home.

He begins to respect Nupur because he feels she helped him grow beyond his prejudices and there are ways to enjoy life without compromising on education.

Education plays an extremely important role in Mayank's life.

But for Mayank to learn that Nupur lied, his anger got the better for him and he is furious on himself for getting distracted. And Mayank has anger issues - which is a consistent trait that's written in him and something he only sheds with time. Where he's angry he loses rationality and he has suffered multiple times because of it.

And Mayank realizes later as well he blew things out of proportion as well as that it was just a project - he felt like a fool, his ego took a hit and his guilt of being distracted towards the one thing that can secure his future was all his own projection.

Coming to Gunjan - she was extremely sensitive and Samrat was the very first friend she made in her life. For her to learn that the foundation of that was to be a laughing stock shattered her belief and she closed herself up into a shell.

In the beginning, Samrat is incapable of seeing things outside his own circle. Even when he apologies to Gunjan during NYE with a huge song performance - the lyrics are almost taunting her for being so upset over something frivolous and he does not take account that she does not like people, she does not like attention, she does not like being put in the spot and he does all of that because he thinks he has an advantage to the situation.

By disadvantaging Gunjan.

So it hurts Gunjan even further. She just wants to staunchly protect herself so she refuses from letting anyone close to her but you see - both Mayank and Gunjan fail to see perspective and both realize that at one point for the sake of themselves they did not want to forgive the other party cause they wanted to dwell in their 'righteousness'.

Nupur and Samrat always had the best intentions. It takes time for those intentions to show through. And there's a reason Samrat and Nupur are more forgiving cause Nupur knows she' s been unfairly biased against him since day one, and that Samrat was treating Gunjan like a new project.

But their intent is always pure. Which is why Gunjan and Mayank immediately become incredibly attached to them once they realize their own mistakes as well.

Everyone is doing everything right a little incorrectly.

It's beautiful.

Jalebi

[coldgoldlazarus]

-Character A

-Aloof loner

-Hasn't been with party that long, hasn't had time to develop positively or get especially close to the party

-Tried to reboot her with a more friendly direction to account for that, it just didn't really feel natural or fun, and also another character's death immediately adjacent to that kinda forces her back into a bad headspace for a session anyway, before I can use it as a motivator to more naturally/gradually shift in the intended friendlier direction

-During that overall brief phase of negative mood, is rude in a minor way (sitting in a beanbag while wet on purpose) that comes off worse due to knowledge that neither she nor I had until after the fact. (Beanbag actually belongs to the party's youngest character, not the member she was actually trying to get under the skin of and who owned the house the beanbag was in) This is treated as high sin.

-Funeral for deceased party member is held. She wants to be the last one present at burial site, but don't want to impede on others' Big Moments, so I attempt to have her retreat to a more-than-respectful distance to let that work. DM continually interprets her distance as much closer than it's meant to be, and resists and eventually shuts down my attempts to clarify/correct that. End result is just hiding nearby, distracting from and overhearing the moments I was trying to avoid distracting from or overhearing.

-Finally, due to the out-of-character discussion of her whereabouts, other player characters refuse to budge specifically to foil her efforts to be the last one there, completely preventing her from getting the chance for any sort of similar moment as they had gotten, until she has to just give up on hiding and follow them back to the city; dogged to keep her with the group, and one further attempt to separate herself and double back is pointedly foiled.

-All she wanted was to use druid powers to make the grave site prettier, a slight bit of positive development that would ONLY COUNT if she was alone for it, and they'd only see the effects after passing back through later, otherwise given prior characterization it would just come across as making a (figurative and literal) show of caring. And it was foiled maliciously at every turn.

-Also OOC everyone hates her character and wants her to do a complete personality 180 that just wouldn't and couldn't make any sort of sense, otherwise her continued presence would apparently make everyone fucking miserable. Despite refusing her the chance to do literally anything to offset that in a way that would feel natural, and her overall vibes being much less combatitive 99% of the time than Character B's average.

-I point out this discrepancy and the answer boils down to "she just sucks, make her smile more and do it now"

-Internalize maybe she is a fundamentally bad character for the game, but still can't see any way to change her that would be fast enough for the rest of the party and that I would actually like playing. So decide fuck this and quit, have her just leave the party in-universe. And since making a new character wouldn't have made sense at the time due to other factors, out-of-universe retreat to a spectator position until I can feel better about playing again, and an opportunity to bring in someone new presents itself. (Neither has occurred yet.)

---

Character B

-Edgy loner

-Has been with party for ages, has gotten closer, but still edgy loner with a long rap sheet of party-alienating moments

-Nearly kills an NPC important to another player character due to faulty/invomplete information, but is stopped for out-of-universe reasons at the last second

-Player who's character the NPC is relevant to is still kinda pissed, says she would be a bad character, if she had gone through with it. Rest of group isn't even upset over any of it

-Overall, this is a chance to kickstart further positive development and stuff, and treated as such by most of the group