#internalized acephobia

[aroaceconfessions]

Tip for anyone who's worried about if they're "actually" ace or if they're just a late bloomer:

I was a late bloomer. I didn't really develop my sexuality until I was already an adult, and I identified as asexual for years before that. When I realized I wasn't, I just stopped using the ace label. No harm done to me or anyone else. Calling myself asexual served me perfectly well until it didn't fit anymore.

Similarly, if you go ahead and call yourself ace even if you're not sure if you're just a late bloomer or not, nothing's stopping you from going "oh okay" if you suddenly start to feel sexual attraction. It's okay, I promise.

[suzukiblu]

Thank-you sentences for a dragon melon; "it's not fine anymore". (( chrono || non-chrono )) tw: internalized acephobia.

Kon ignores his phone all week, and definitely ignores the group chat. It’s not–it’s– 

He should just leave it, probably. Cassie and Tim and Bart are gonna want a just-them chat to, like, talk and plan dates and be cute and flirty and fucking sext in, probably, and–and he might as well just . . . just leave, and let them have that. 

Though they probably already made one anyway, given Tim’s whole general, like . . . Tim-ness, so really, it’s just that he doesn’t wanna . . . that he doesn’t know how to . . . 

He has to lie to them every time he sees them now. And there was–there was already stuff he wasn’t telling them, because like, fucking obviously there was or he never would’ve been included in Cassie and Tim’s dumb little adorable presentation thing, they would’ve just–just borrowed Bart for it and told him they’d talk to him later, or . . . or something like that. If they’d known, they wouldn’t–they wouldn’t have–

They wouldn’t have asked him for it, if they’d known. 

They wouldn’t have thought they wanted him, if they’d known.

[ace-culture-is]

ace (with ocd) culture is always having a karen in your head asking you the same questions a real life karen would: "how can you be sure if you've never tried it? maybe you just need to meet the right person. are you sure you're not just being shy? childish? is asexuality even a real thing?" and ALSO having a little demon in your head that constantly tells you that you're attracted to your friends and you're lying to everyone about your asexuality

[beesinspades]

something something ace people often being told they're not human for not experiencing sexual attraction and/or not wanting sex, something something vash seeing his sex-averse asexuality as yet another thing that makes him even more different from humans than he already is because of it

[dorklyelectric]

Asexuality is a funny thing trying to cope exist with

Sliding through the pipeline of turmoil like an ice rink baby

[ghost--heart]

sometimes I feel like I have internalized arophobia and acephobia (less so than arophobia). like I know I'm aroace, but sometimes I feel like it's fake even when I know it's not. I feel like it's because society tries to push romance and sex and it makes you think you're not normal when you don't experience that.

it's weird for me since I still experience aesthetic attraction and platonic attraction so I get confused. I don't experience the romantic attraction, but I get confused with platonic attraction sometimes and it makes me think I'm not aro even though I know I am and then I try to justify myself. I also feel bad because I try to almost force myself into thinking I like someone when the thought of a romantic relationship kind of makes me uncomfortable.

don't get me wrong, I do love being aroace, I just sometimes struggle with it :/

[newwwwusername]

Heartbreak High (Netflix Reboot) - Darren/Ca$h - Pride Month Prompt 18 : Internalized Acephobia

Prompt : In which either an asexual character struggles with internalized acephobia and either their partner or a friend helps them

Everything seemed fine.

Darren and Ca$h were just cuddling in bed. Darren wasn't making any moves to advance things anymore because the pair had worked past that.

Darren liked Ca$h for his personality. Sure, his looks helped, but if the boy didn't want to have sex, they weren't gonna force it, especially now knowing there was a word for what Ca$h was.

But the stillness made Ca$h want to cry.

"What's wrong?" Darren asked. They could tell something was off.

"I'm sorry I'm broken" he said and that's when the dam broke and suddenly Darren had a sobbing drug dealer in their arms.

"Hey, hey, hey" they tried to soothe, rubbing his back. "What's this about?"

"I'm sorry I can't give you what you want" he sobbed. "I know what you want and I don't- I don't know what's wrong with me"

"There's nothing wrong with you" Darren told him earnestly. Ca$h went still.

"That's not what you said before" he muttered and Darren winced.

"And I was wrong for that" Darren told him immediately. "And I'm sorry I said that. It was horrible and... Completely out of line, okay?" they asked, getting a weak nod in response. "You're not broken and there's nothing wrong with you. And I'm happy that I'm with you"

"Even though we don't have sex?"

"Even though we don't have sex" Darren nodded. Ca$h took a second and wiped away his tears.

"Sorry" he said, feeling a bit embarrassed for breaking down randomly like that. Darren smiled.

"Don't even start"

"I love you"

"I love you too, idiot"

Do not repost on other sites! If you want to participate in this month's challenge, there are 30 LGBT-centered prompts that you can find here

[shoe109]

Gamers I really hate being asexual. Like I get it’s internalized acephobia and I’ll have to work on it but this shit is not fun at all.

[bat-the-misfit]

ok some rant under the cut and me being acephobic to myself

it's funny how usually when people find out they're not straight they get in denial and pretend they're straight and some time later they accept and love who they are

it's being the opposite with me lol when i found out i was asexual in 2017, i was so happy and proud and i would think about being asexual 24/7 and be so happy bc of it

but these past two months i started hating being ace. i hate being ace so much. i hate that i'm not allosexual like most people. all my romance problems would be solved if i was allosexual bc society ties romance with sex even if both are two different things.

idk i just can't help but feel envy. it's so easy for them to date. i never dated anyone bc all those dudes were all allosexual and i wouldn't force myself to have sex with them just to make them happy. that would kill MY happiness.

i fucking hate being asexual so muuuuuch and idk how to get back to the "i love being ace" state again 😭

[rotten-queer]

[waskojey]

sometimes I hate being asexual :(

[aroaceconfessions]

i used to be so proud of my aroaceness, and i was so confident in it, but intrusive thoughts made me doubt myself and i tried getting in a relationship. it didnt end well. its almost a year later and he's still not over it and i feel horrible. i feel like i've regressed in my self acceptance. i wish i wasnt aroace. it would be so much easier.

Submitted July 10, 2023

[ace-loric]

First Heartbreak High fic because my ADHD said I had to start and finish this one before finishing any of the other WIPs 😅

Anyways, here’s the summary:

The aftermath of Darren saying there was something wrong with Cash.

"There might be something really fucking wrong with you, Cash, go use somebody else to figure it out.”

Cash watches in shock as Darren slams his bedroom door on the way out. The whole thing felt like a dagger through his chest.

[tired-tatum]

I was in 8th grade when I found out I was ace at the very very beginning of the ace discourse in 2014. Then it continued into high school and honestly caused a lot of shit from people in my actual real life who told me I wasn’t actually gay, I just wanted to be special, I just wanted to fit in. Of course I just wanted to fit in. I was a freshman in high school.

Until 2022, I never considered myself part of the LGBT community. I would straight up tell other gay people that “oh I’m just ace. I don’t really count.” Because that is what I was told, and that is what I believed. I wasn’t straight, but I wasn’t gay either.

Last year, I went to my first pride. After nine years of knowing that I was ace. Last year, I bought my first ace flag. After nine years of knowing that I was ace. Last year, I called myself queer out loud for the first time. After nine years of knowing that I was ace.

I was the biggest perpetrator of aphobia in my friend groups. I was the biggest critic of the dragon and chocolate cake memes. I thought AVEN and the whole ace subculture was super cringy.

The worst thing the ace discourse did was cause us to internalize our own aphobia. It didn’t just cause fear, but it isolated us and caused us to turn that fear onto ourselves. Because at least I was that kind of ace person. At least I knew my place outside of the lgbt community.

To this day, when I introduce myself to other queer people, I don’t tell them. I don’t specify. I just tell them I’m queer too, and I leave it there. Because I still don’t really feel like I’m allowed to be part of the community.

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Psst. Hi

Opinions on homophobic Dreamtale? The concept of dream and nm growing up in a gendered, homophobic society. Dream gets internalised homophobia and Nightmare has little opinion about it bc he's already as disgraced as a gay person would be.. the icing on top is Dream being gay, just for the discovery trips sake

That could be interesting if it’s written or done well, given how dream was more “involved” and welcomed into the village (being used and manipulated of course.)

Dream could’ve adopted the villagers beliefs to avoid being rejected or abandoned, especially if any of the villagers showed disdain or disapproval whenever Dream did or said anything “wrong” or “bad”—and approval if he did or said anything the villagers agreed with.

he could very well go on a journey of self discovery and unpacking that internalized homophobia as he grows—when he eventually ventures out into the rest of the Multiverse.

Especially since I’ve heard around that it’s a common view that one of the first people Dream meets is ink, aroace he/they ink lmao. which would definitely help dream, considering dream is canonically demiromantic asexual himself and unless it was changed somewhere, it makes me sad how that is ignored by the fandom.

Dream could go through a journey of unpacking internalized ace and arophobia too.

[starry-teacup]

so Johnny has canonically committed every crime known to man except for the sexual ones, right? And I know that he always assumed it was just a thing carmilla had built into him. but I like to imagine that he's sex-repulsed ace. this fact has never crossed his mind ever