#and it might be temp work?
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God I wanna write soooooo bad I have so many scenes for PDTMSA planned out in my head but I have no energy rn and it sucks so much and I feel so bad for the people waiting for the next chapter but every time I sit down at a keyboard all of the words I just had run away no matter what I do
#my unemployment spell has dropped me head first over a cliff into a depressive episode#good news I am no longer technically unemployed#bad news the job doesn't start for a couple weeks (at least)#and it might be temp work?#I am unsure#a recruiter reached out to me because I'm on unemployment and have a resume on the job site website because you have to to get unemployment#and they do temp work#like as an agency#I think#but the position sounded pretty permanent?#it's data entry for monthly contributions to various accounts from various companies#so the work keeps coming in month to month#but there's a secondary project about digitizing some of their old paper records#so some part of my brain is going “will I no longer have a job when that project is completed?”#"or is this temp to permanent#where the temp agency finds me for the company and then I technically work for the agency for some number of hours and then transition to#the actual employer?#and I'm too anxious to ask the dude in case I don't like the answer#which is also stopping me from working on stuff#cause anxiety isn't conducive to working#aaaagggghhhh#please don't take my sunshine away#writing#vent post
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Another weird medical question for y'all! This one is benadryl (diphenhydramine) related. Well, these ones, plural A. Have you ever gotten so upset and/or emotional you spiked a fever? B. Have you ever taken benadryl for a fever, emotion-caused or not and C. Did the benadryl completely fix your fever? Before anyone points it out, yes I know none of that should I work that way. I did not take the benadryl for the fever, I took the benadryl for the oncoming allergic reaction that was starting, and then once it kicked in I no longer had a fever. I am aware all of that is weird, which is why I am asking these questions lol
#the person behind the yarn#tj asks weird questions#medical mention#medication mention#children's chewable benadryl cures all my issues (except low blood pressure and muscle spasms)#and it shouldn't! this is not medical advice#half the stuff benadryl fixes for me should not work that way!#both in that allergic reactions shouldn't cause those symptoms and in that benadryl shouldn't fix it#but the fever is new I'll admit#it raised my temp by like a degree and a half from my baseline#but also sometimes if I get too upset my blood pressure drops like a rock and I swoon like something from a victorian novel#so of those two ways my autonomic system could completely fail to handle emotional stress#I might prefer the fever????
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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Shoutout to this guy who held the door on the train for me because he saw me running from a block away… he wasn’t even riding he just wanted to make sure I got on <3
#it was 2 minutes early this morning too which worries me these might be the new times#because I can’t leave work any earlier than I did today#especially once my time card gets fixed right now it’s honor system 🤭#it’s not that big a deal waiting for the train if it weren’t for the fact we are entering sub-freezing temps this week#the bus is scheduled a bit sooner than a later train but when has a bus EVER been on time#unless I’m running late#p
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So far this weekend's bullshit is that landlords won't even let me APPLY without seeing me in-person first. We doing old school housing descrimination again. I'm saving everyone's contacts bc this has happened 7 times this weekend. The lawsuit I'm about to file finna go crazy. I'm about to waste everybody's time in a pretty pink dress. It's gonna be the right balance of frivolous and fruitful. Call me Zendaya because I love law. Like yes something as simple as not allowing everyone who wants to apply do so will get you in trouble. Especially if you forgot to be sneaky and do a "prescreening" process.
I knew housing was bad. We all knew the bad shit was back in a big way but gatdamn.
"we'd want you to tour the place before you apply."
Big buddy that's not how this works.
#bout to fill out one of those temp work visas might just have to skip the states altogether#doibg all this behind absolutely shithole apartments is crazy#im bout to sue everybody#apartment hunt 2024
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me remembering that i have an adam blog ...
#-ˏˋ ━━━ ( out of character. )#I'm working on a multifandom multimuse at the moment so everything is in one place.#I've got lots of Helluva OCs and various characters so.#May move there but I do love the aes of this blog so might be a temp decision. I'll drop the URL when I've got it running
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Lmaooo so pretty much since I started, my work friend who works in the freezer/cooler sections has been trying to get me to come help over there (I actually cannot as I am not SAFE certified. He knows this but still it's just a running joke) and the other week I was working Health and Beauty and he was like "hey hey hey uh uh! You're supposed to help ME!" To which I said that only one person can ask a day and Bootleg already asked that day. So a couple days ago he was leaving the breakroom as I was coming in to clock in, as was our mutual work buddy who also works that area. He goes "ah ah ah you gotta help work the cooler today. See I asked before anyone else could!" To which I said "ah man, I'm not clocked in yet, doesn't count!" And went in to clock in as they left
So yesterday our mutual work buddy was like "so I heard you're coming to the cooler 👀" (again joking) and I just said "nope he's a liar. He's telling you lies man. But I heard YOU'RE coming to clothing."
We just laughed and went on with what we had been doing.
But TODAY I guess when RC came in to lunch, he was telling Homicidal Forklift Driver that I should move to the cooler. Like trying to get someone else to back them up that I should switch bc they see what a good job I do in clothing so I would be able to make the shelves look nice there too
RC was like oh hell no, I need her in clothing man. She's like the one person there who works!
To which they both said, "yeah and imagine how nice the cooler would look!"
She told them that I actually had mentioned yesterday that it didn't really sound like a bad deal, but that I'd 100% be moved back to clothing within a month bc no one but me can handle the kids section 😅
Felt nice though having people "fight" over me/praise my work sgdgdggdg getting that recognition for how well I do my job
I really dont think I'd mind working in the cooler, or fresh, but I hate having to check for close expiration dates and the boxes are so so heavy 😰
Plus I think the girl who recovers clothing second shift would kill me agsgdgdggd she'd like come in as a customer 8am on the dot and track me down to beg me to come back to clothing bc she can't handle the mess that is kids without me 😅
Anyways that made me laugh to hear
#marquilla#i mean 👀 it's a viable way out if NewLady pisses me off bad enough and they dont move her first agdggdgdgdh#ive seen the SAFE certification test before and it's mostly common sense food handling imo it's just that the specifics are what get you is#what ive heard like theres basically no room for error (which is good bc safe food handling SHOULD be that high a priority) and you need to#know 100% what the correct temps for the safe zone are ect ect (i did at one point know them i just dont remember)#anyway anyways thats funny that he's got HFD on board and he doesnt even work in that area 😭 he works recieving#which is another job ive thought ab tbh like if i ever get forklift certified i think i want to work back there bc they get to unload trucks#and sign for packages from what ive seen and they get to work the big door thats satisfying to open shdgdggd i got to do that once bc i was#over there and whoever is closest no matter your actual job is supposed to let them in and let a receiving person know and damn is that#door fun to watch open and close 👀 i ALMOST got to close it yesterday but they didnt leave before i was done :( shdhdhhdhd#i think unloading the trucks would be fun bc you drive the pallets around the store or just dump em in the dock if it's past 8am but then#you have to clear the dock if someone else filled it overnight 😒 but hey that might still be fun idk#and as far as I know the 4am recieving crew all like me a lot abdbbdbdgd so other than working with HFD it wouldn't be so bad#i think we should be allowed to shadow other areas like not specifically cross training but like i think working liquidations/claims would#be fun but it might not be idk only problem with that and recieving is that it's very loud in the back and idk if id be allowed those yellow#headphones or earplugs to dampen the sound or not#i think any of those jobs would be fun. id really like to work bakery but im allergic to too many common ingredients that id be#afraid that i might not be a great fit like yes gloves exist but still idk if thats a safe/good idea job wise...#ANYWAYS dhddhhdhd
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My human got me another hammock. She spent at least ten-to-twenty minutes trying to figure out the perfect spot and decided on this.
I’m not at all convinced, but I guess I’ll give it a few days…
#bearded dragon#reptiles#lizards#beardies#lizard link#cute animals#best bearded dragon in the whole world#the best beardie in the world#I try not to move stuff in his tank too much because of his bad eye#but I hope it works out here#just another place for him to chill#maybe get some more exercise#might need to move it though#once again the gauge on the wall isn’t correct#I have something else to measure the temp & humidity with more accuracy#I’ve just never gotten around to removing it
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEVER USED THESE TYPE OF COLOURS BEFORE HOW THE FUCK DID I DO THIS WHO AMI !?!???!!?
#art#i'm fucking screaming#Whofuckingpossessedme?#krita#TheEmpire#I'ma draw tomorrow to see if this....thing last.#Might just be a temp status.#Like the Sims motivation thing#is this how tags work
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UPDATE on the TAG BREAKING
you can search tags on INDIVIDUAL BLOGS and that tag will appear. if you go to my blog and search qsmp or mishapen words you'll get to see my increasing bafflement as i test. however. IF YOU CLICK A TAG FROM THE DASH OR SEARCH FOR IT, RECENT POSTS WILL NOT SHOW UP. this means that you can go to a single blog and find all of their content nicely organized on the blog, but that is the ONLY way to find any of that content posted some time after 4:30 EST. unfortunately, this means that my previous advice to schedule a post with your personal tags will not work. you'll need to repost your art/writing/whatever if you want it to be visible to anyone who doesn't search your blog for it. this isn't a huge issue, and our temp tags are STILL WORKING, so go ahead and post today if your blog organization is something you don't care about. i don't have a way to test this right now, but you may want to be mindful of anything you queue or schedule today not showing up in the tags at all once they return- essentially working under the same rules of everything posted today. Again, all posts are still organized on your blog. All tags that were empty before the break are working normally. go forth, gamers, and spread the word
#qsmp3#qsmp#that's so so weird why is it working on blogs but not when you click on the tag from the dash!!!#it wouldn't be a problem if it was just search being broken#that's normal#i wonder if from-the-dash tags being broken are also normal and its just not been noticed before#it's still a PROBLEM though#oh my god is that why sometimes posts just won't appear in your orginization tags#i had that happen like two years ago has this been a problem this whole time#did all the tags break back then too is that what that was and i just didnt notice#it makes sense i mean again qsmp is Weird for paying attention to tags and not the dash but. goddamn.#if that's it then we might have to settle in for the long haul and increasing the number on our temp main tag#because if this has been going on for that long then i doubt it's going to be fixed any time soon
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bad day 👍
#forgot one of yhe two hour temps so i might get written up for that if they notice. i dropped two chickens on the ground but avoided#burning myself cause they were right out thr oven so thats good. been slightly nauseous all day but ate a bit and have a#soda now so i feel better. i work til twn w the new guy whos been here over a month but is still acting like its his first week#so ive gotta babysit him. however he doesnt attempt to pull the same shit w me yhat he does w the other coworker cause#he knows i will just yell at him. 👍 so yeah#got 5 more mins on break aughhh
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It might just be all the new years resolution-ing going on around me (even though I myself have set no resolutions), but I’ve been seriously thinking about getting back to an outdoor running fitness level again and genuinely one of the pros of this is the route I mapped out when I first moved here would allow me to look at ✨ 🌊The Sea 🌊✨for a quite a significant portion of the run…
#outdoor running? in the winter?#this has been a really mild winter my lower limit is around 5-10F and I don’t think we’ve gotten below 25#this is warm in comparison#i think I moved all my winter gear…I might just be missing my outer pants but I’ll be good with leggings at these temps#i miss running and think it would solve…at least three of my problems given past experience#i watched that last video and was like…I need to up my looking at the sea game#i mean I am looking at it right now from where I eat lunch at work but there can always be more sea
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Me on Wednesday, probably, after I’ve stayed up to after 4/5am to watch the season finale of Ted Lasso to then go to work at 6am.
#I’ll have to go to bed super early#fingers crossed that I’ll be able to fall asleep#but Nicole you might ask#why don’t you just watch it after work?#I’ve watched every episode of season 3 as soon as it’s been made available#I’m not missing out on watching the finale just because I have to get up early#it’s a new job and I’m training for it#we’ll it’s a temp job but still#I watched two of the people who works with it today and then I was asked if I wanted the temp job and I said yes#but yeah work starts at 6.30 and I have to drive to get there so I have to leave home at like 6.10#no sleep is a small price to pay for ted lasso#great scott my life is heavy
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the least exertion brings on a fever please send me to the seaside for my health
#a butterfly obsesses#tired of the fevers it's so draining#especially having to go to work with a fever#I need to see the doctor again but what can I even ask them to look for#it's the same symptoms as before#well I guess it depends if my ears are congested again or not#that went away with some cold medicine but if it keeps coming back that might mean something#it probably is back my balance is atrocious lately#need to schedule an appointment tomorrow#need to sleep too but I'm waiting for my temp to go down#hard to sleep with a fever
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