#and it might be temp work?
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God I wanna write soooooo bad I have so many scenes for PDTMSA planned out in my head but I have no energy rn and it sucks so much and I feel so bad for the people waiting for the next chapter but every time I sit down at a keyboard all of the words I just had run away no matter what I do
#my unemployment spell has dropped me head first over a cliff into a depressive episode#good news I am no longer technically unemployed#bad news the job doesn't start for a couple weeks (at least)#and it might be temp work?#I am unsure#a recruiter reached out to me because I'm on unemployment and have a resume on the job site website because you have to to get unemployment#and they do temp work#like as an agency#I think#but the position sounded pretty permanent?#it's data entry for monthly contributions to various accounts from various companies#so the work keeps coming in month to month#but there's a secondary project about digitizing some of their old paper records#so some part of my brain is going “will I no longer have a job when that project is completed?”#"or is this temp to permanent#where the temp agency finds me for the company and then I technically work for the agency for some number of hours and then transition to#the actual employer?#and I'm too anxious to ask the dude in case I don't like the answer#which is also stopping me from working on stuff#cause anxiety isn't conducive to working#aaaagggghhhh#please don't take my sunshine away#writing#vent post
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has someone already pitched a Candyman!Ghost x Reader fic?
Like Reader as a grad student looking into the ghost story of well… Ghost, sure everyone knows he was really named Simon Riley and he’s definitely dead now (right?), but the name still sparks fear in Manchester.
Reader’s whirlwind romance with her former professor hasn’t continued the way she expected, yes he’d left his wife and children and married her, but she feels like he’s distant, so she’s looking for some kind of distraction from the dull colors of her life. When she and her best friend (and hopeful co-author) decide to investigate Ghost’s home — a former butcher shop carcass left to rot. It would likely never reopen in anyway unless it was gutted and flipped, all of the buildings beautiful original designs torn out rather than attempted to save. You couldn’t help yourself from looking around, and there was such a delicious thrill in looking the rooms over.
You don’t know what possess you to look into the smashed mirror in the loo, smile playing at the edges of your lips as you caught sight of the original tiles, still so beautiful despite the time that had passed. The sight of yourself makes you sigh, brows pinching together as you touch that girl’s cheek.
“Simon Riley.”
It’s barely a whisper as you recite the supposed spectre of fear and vengeance.
When you hear your friend call you name, ask what you’d found, you turn to look behind you — and your eyes must have been playing tricks on you, because you swore for a moment a hulking man was just behind you? A shiver shudders through you
#Yes maybe I should read “The Forbidden” but I knew Candyman first#and then I twisted it#temp txt#ghost x reader#cod#tw horror#tw cheating#implied and there would be more#I will be comin back for this — I wanna work on one main fic for each pairing first and TJ#this is my Ghost plan#(Gaz is toxic!FWB)#(then I might do Kate — sorry I love pussy)
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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cant stop thinking “edward little moment” whenever something bad happens to me and honestly. affirming
#only works for minor to moderate bad things but its like ‘this might as well happen’ but for insane people#just spilled absinthe all over the goddamn rug. edward little moment#ran out of my migraine meds and started having auras at work. edward little moment#walked 30 min home in subzero temps last night and having excruciating joint pain about it. edward little moment#edward little
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currently at That Point which occurs once every few months where one briefly begins pacing around the house teary eyed contemplating selling their own organs or becoming an online scammer or getting on anxiety meds so you can bear the risk taking required to be a hitman or so on and so forth.... why must everything so Expensive... Surely all would be healed in life if only I had one big plate of lasagna and a simple loan of $40,000 ... auoughhh....
#And then you just eventually shrug and go 'welp. nothing i can do i guess' and sad cartoon music plays as you shuffle back to your room#It's just hard with my specific physical and mental issues since it's like.. I couldn't really handle most jobs. I can't handle school. I'm#100% aromantic and asexual so I'll never get married so I can't get money that way. I have too much issues with social cues#+ too nervous temperament + too low energy to put effort into lying and having a fake relationship just for money. so on and so forth etc.#Really I should have just been born into a middle class family. Which I guess everyone says. but ESPECIALLY considering my#chronic conditions kind of hampering my ability to function 'normally' or be Independent in a regular way. I'm always going to be#in some way sort of beholden to the whims of people around me who I must depend on. so... well of course they might as well have been rich#lol like that would have been better for me of course.#AAANyway... Just thinking about another stupid fucking climate change summer... months keep going by so fast.. soon it will be so again#And it's like such SMALL things would make drastic improvements for me. Literally if I just had a place with central AC#then like 75% of my issues with summer would vanish instantly. literally. But instead it's like.. having a cheap hot apartment + only#half functional dinky window ac + my illnesses that make me heat sensitive + living in a part of the country that keeps getting hotter +#inability to leave the house much meaning I can't just go spend time in a cooler place etc. all factors which combine together to make#it just utterly miserable for MONTHS and mentally draining. And literally ALL I would need to fix that is just...#have a place with central AC that works.. (or move to a colder country/area but that also takes money. Or just not have illnesses#that make me heat sensitive. but that I can't control). etc. etc. I guess it's just the nature of the constant background frustration of#being part of The Masses under our current manifestation of unmitigated capitalism. Such minor details would make such huge#quality of life improvements and yet will remain ever out of reach. ONE little thing could change your whole life but you can't even have#that. so many 'If only' scenarios. etc. And of course obviously I am incredibly thankful just to have anywhere to live at all. food to eat#. any sort of stability whatsoever no matter how fragile it feels/is. But that still doesn't make it not frustrating occasionally to look#around and see how relatively little would have to change in order for you to be a decent percentage more comfortable and yet#how still far away even those ''small'' seeming goals are. etc. etc.#Seriously think I've been traumatized by the summer or something somehow lol like thinking about it being warm weather eventually#makes me nauseous with panic. It's just SOOO much labor. micromanaging windows and fans and blocking every ounce of light#and not being able to cook (cant even afford a single degree of temp increase due to the stove) for months and barely being able#to sleep for months and the claustrophobia of days on end crawling out of your skin because it doesnt even get cool enough at#night to offer relief so you're just always feeling trapped.. hgrhh...#It starts getting hot here sometimes in May but mostly June then lasts through October now.. thats like half the year almost.. ARghhH#anyway... If any extremely rich person reading this would like to buy me an air conditioned house in exchange for multiple years worth#of art (I will paint murals on all of your grand dining halls and make all the custom sculptures you could ever want etc) then.. hewwo :'3c
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*rocking back and forth* just have to make it through this week just have to make it through this week just h
#i am so sick right now it’s not even funny#i almost fell over from dizziness and exhaustion like five times today#pretty sure i have a fever#but i can’t stay home cause IT’S TECH WEEK :’D#plus all of my online class is due this friday (the day before my show) and i still have a unit and my final project to do#i just want to sleep for the love of god#but i can’t until my work is done :3#thank GOD for my boyfriend like i would not have locked in otherwise#ANWYAYS. it’s fine after this week i’ll have no more drama no more online class (for the semester) and i can finally relax#we have monday off too and we might even get tuesday off because the low temp is supposed to be NEGATIVE TWO 😭😭😭#praying for it fr#then i can finally get back to embroidery cause i want to work on my jellyfish pants SO BAD#and even better than that I CAN FINALLY USE MY LOOM#i’ve had no time but i’m so so so excited#ANYWAYS. that’s enough tags for now goodbye
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Another weird medical question for y'all! This one is benadryl (diphenhydramine) related. Well, these ones, plural A. Have you ever gotten so upset and/or emotional you spiked a fever? B. Have you ever taken benadryl for a fever, emotion-caused or not and C. Did the benadryl completely fix your fever? Before anyone points it out, yes I know none of that should I work that way. I did not take the benadryl for the fever, I took the benadryl for the oncoming allergic reaction that was starting, and then once it kicked in I no longer had a fever. I am aware all of that is weird, which is why I am asking these questions lol
#the person behind the yarn#tj asks weird questions#medical mention#medication mention#children's chewable benadryl cures all my issues (except low blood pressure and muscle spasms)#and it shouldn't! this is not medical advice#half the stuff benadryl fixes for me should not work that way!#both in that allergic reactions shouldn't cause those symptoms and in that benadryl shouldn't fix it#but the fever is new I'll admit#it raised my temp by like a degree and a half from my baseline#but also sometimes if I get too upset my blood pressure drops like a rock and I swoon like something from a victorian novel#so of those two ways my autonomic system could completely fail to handle emotional stress#I might prefer the fever????
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Shoutout to this guy who held the door on the train for me because he saw me running from a block away… he wasn’t even riding he just wanted to make sure I got on <3
#it was 2 minutes early this morning too which worries me these might be the new times#because I can’t leave work any earlier than I did today#especially once my time card gets fixed right now it’s honor system 🤭#it’s not that big a deal waiting for the train if it weren’t for the fact we are entering sub-freezing temps this week#the bus is scheduled a bit sooner than a later train but when has a bus EVER been on time#unless I’m running late#p
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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Okay so baking In a convection oven is awful
#I adjusted the temp and time and it’s still dry rock hard and raw in the center#hope we can get an actual oven working again soon#just wasted so much ingredients #I don’t know how anyone bakes in air fryers#it’s not an all in one so I can’t turn the fan off#I might have to buy a big toaster oven
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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So far this weekend's bullshit is that landlords won't even let me APPLY without seeing me in-person first. We doing old school housing descrimination again. I'm saving everyone's contacts bc this has happened 7 times this weekend. The lawsuit I'm about to file finna go crazy. I'm about to waste everybody's time in a pretty pink dress. It's gonna be the right balance of frivolous and fruitful. Call me Zendaya because I love law. Like yes something as simple as not allowing everyone who wants to apply do so will get you in trouble. Especially if you forgot to be sneaky and do a "prescreening" process.
I knew housing was bad. We all knew the bad shit was back in a big way but gatdamn.
"we'd want you to tour the place before you apply."
Big buddy that's not how this works.
#bout to fill out one of those temp work visas might just have to skip the states altogether#doibg all this behind absolutely shithole apartments is crazy#im bout to sue everybody#apartment hunt 2024
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEVER USED THESE TYPE OF COLOURS BEFORE HOW THE FUCK DID I DO THIS WHO AMI !?!???!!?
#art#i'm fucking screaming#Whofuckingpossessedme?#krita#TheEmpire#I'ma draw tomorrow to see if this....thing last.#Might just be a temp status.#Like the Sims motivation thing#is this how tags work
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My human got me another hammock. She spent at least ten-to-twenty minutes trying to figure out the perfect spot and decided on this.
I’m not at all convinced, but I guess I’ll give it a few days…
#bearded dragon#reptiles#lizards#beardies#lizard link#cute animals#best bearded dragon in the whole world#the best beardie in the world#I try not to move stuff in his tank too much because of his bad eye#but I hope it works out here#just another place for him to chill#maybe get some more exercise#might need to move it though#once again the gauge on the wall isn’t correct#I have something else to measure the temp & humidity with more accuracy#I’ve just never gotten around to removing it
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UPDATE on the TAG BREAKING
you can search tags on INDIVIDUAL BLOGS and that tag will appear. if you go to my blog and search qsmp or mishapen words you'll get to see my increasing bafflement as i test. however. IF YOU CLICK A TAG FROM THE DASH OR SEARCH FOR IT, RECENT POSTS WILL NOT SHOW UP. this means that you can go to a single blog and find all of their content nicely organized on the blog, but that is the ONLY way to find any of that content posted some time after 4:30 EST. unfortunately, this means that my previous advice to schedule a post with your personal tags will not work. you'll need to repost your art/writing/whatever if you want it to be visible to anyone who doesn't search your blog for it. this isn't a huge issue, and our temp tags are STILL WORKING, so go ahead and post today if your blog organization is something you don't care about. i don't have a way to test this right now, but you may want to be mindful of anything you queue or schedule today not showing up in the tags at all once they return- essentially working under the same rules of everything posted today. Again, all posts are still organized on your blog. All tags that were empty before the break are working normally. go forth, gamers, and spread the word
#qsmp3#qsmp#that's so so weird why is it working on blogs but not when you click on the tag from the dash!!!#it wouldn't be a problem if it was just search being broken#that's normal#i wonder if from-the-dash tags being broken are also normal and its just not been noticed before#it's still a PROBLEM though#oh my god is that why sometimes posts just won't appear in your orginization tags#i had that happen like two years ago has this been a problem this whole time#did all the tags break back then too is that what that was and i just didnt notice#it makes sense i mean again qsmp is Weird for paying attention to tags and not the dash but. goddamn.#if that's it then we might have to settle in for the long haul and increasing the number on our temp main tag#because if this has been going on for that long then i doubt it's going to be fixed any time soon
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{R.E.B.O.R.N} - T H E O R I Z I N G ~ P A R A L L E L Worlds + Y A M A M O T O & B Y A K U R A N + G E N K I S H I S Death + TYL!Y A M A M O T O
Inheritance Ceremony!Y A M A M O T O -> T.Y.L
"T H I S Will D e c i d e {It}."
B O N U S:
"{T S U N A}, Why don't you T a k e a l i t t l e B r e a k?"
"THIS will D e c i d e I t..."
"If I can get {t h e m} with {T H I S} IT'S--" "{G A M E} & {S e t}!!" A.K.A. C o n c e p t s For S t o r i e s I'll N e v e r? -- Be Able to W r i t e...?!
{Cap'd by Me} (A S K to Use)
#koushirouizumi khr#koushirouizumi khr cap#koushirouizumi khr refs#koushirouizumi yamamoto#koushirouizumi 80x27#c: takeshi#c: tsunayoshi#c: byakuran#c: daemon spade#c: genkishi#c: chrome#yamamoto and byakuran#yamamoto and tyl tsuna#natural born hitman yamamoto#(mE SHRIEKING @ A M A N O FROM AFAR IN THE YEAR 2K24 'HOW MUCH OF THIS DID YOU ACTUALLY PLAN BECAUSE U M')#('WHY AM I SEEING ALL THESE P A R A L L E L S AND POSSIBLE CONNECTING POINTS AND')#({MAYBE IT WAS **AN {ALMOST} FULL CIRCLE** AND NOT *AN UNSOLVED MYSTERY STRING OF PLOT POINTS* ALL ALONG})#(YAMAMOTO ' HAHA . TSUNA IM TOTALLY FINE . BYAKURAN ISNT PLANNING ANYTHING ')#({AND TOTALLY CANT *STILL* SHARE KNOWLEDGE BETWEEN TIMEFRAMES BEFORE OTHERS GET WIPED FROM THE TEMP FIX & YAMAMOTO EVEN SUSPECTED IT})#(T.Y.L YAMAMOTO '{GOTTA MAKE SURE TSUNA WINS NO MATTER WHAT Even If They Think I DONT Know in This Timeline}')#khr timeframe: this is the {supposedly} only world in which you helped me {irie} when you bumped into me#(I kind of rEALLY Want to write a Longer Concept for this but hhhhh I havent written for Yama Yet and I am Low Screaming Into Void)#({'AND THEN IDEK MAYBE YAMA REVEALS YAMAS DOING IT ALL FOR TSUNA NOT {BYAKURAN} & TSUNA ASKS FOR YAMAS HELP TO DISBAND WIDER VONGOLA FAM'})#('AND YAMAS LIKE {ID DIE FOR YOU TSUNA} AND TSUNAS LIKE {NO YOU WONT}')#(BYAKURAN ' {ACTUALLY I MIGHT NOT HAVE HEALED YOU ALL THE WAY} ')#(Also the '''hospital'''sTM in Namimori are SH*T and Tsunas team basically all use the same hospital as all the rest of ThemTM by ending)#({Which is likely ALSO Why Byakuran Gains Control So Easily by T.Y.L Timeframes})#(IDEK IDEK JUST KNOWING AMANO EVEN BRINGING UP THE LATER PLOT POINTS RE YAMAMOTO ANYWAY ARE MAKING ME YELL A LOT)#(If I was able to get this concept down I could try to write something by later Apr but hhhh A.M.V Might Work Better....)#(oK BUT ALSO LIKE *GENKISHI LITERALLY DESCRIBES ALL THAT WORD FOR WORD* AND AMANOS LIKE 'HAHA' 'OH BYAKURAN ~~HEALSTM~~ YAMA BTW')
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