#and it makes me feel like a shitty friend bc sometimes they’ll want to do something else and I just… I just can’t. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

imafoolishfragilespine · 2 years ago

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sometimes it’s just like damn you should not be on social media you’re just gonna get your feelings hurt

it’s always like damn i know people are generally busy so one hangout posted online does not mean i’m actively being excluded or anything but it seems like every time i DO see people they’ll mention other recent hangouts and it’s like hi what i go months without seeing anyone and no one asks me anywhere? especially now when i’m like uh hi my entire life might be fucked i’d like to do normal things while that’s still a possibility not that anybody really knows that that’s where my head is at so it’s not their fault but. i’m scared and lonely lmao, wheras usually it’s just lonely

and it’s like they always seem genuinely happy when they do see me so it’s not like they don’t WANT to hang out and i know i don’t put in enough effort but it’s so hard especially now. like damn i keep telling myself to check in on my friend who just had a baby and i can’t even manage that when i think well, there’s a chance i’ll lose my normal abilities haha how can i expend energy on anything else while i’m in limbo.

bc idk last time i saw my friend he talked about the issues with another friend but he would clearly see her regularly and so it’s like....why not me. was she the one always making the plans and that’s why? bc i can’t exactly make plans when i live with my parents. of course right now with feeling more shitty than i already had since all my symptoms started, i’m a little nervous about breaking away from routine anyway bc that’s about all i can manage and i’m scared i may not be able to continue even that, i just don’t know! and he’s the only one i’ve told about what’s going on anyway, so like no one else outside of my family knows how afraid i am and even they don’t really know bc i’m not acknowledging the change in symptoms lmao

but anyway it’s just been an issue for years and you can’t just be like hey why don’t i ever get invited to anything except like. birthday or maybe other holiday parties skdfks like i know i felt this same way in high school but at least i WAS getting time in with my friends back then and even somewhat in college bc we made a point of it whenever i was in town. but since then it’s like....so very little. and i know i at least used to be inclined to say no bc of my introversion when i wasn’t in the mood but now it’s like oh my god i would go out several weekends in a row with the opportunity that’s how desperate i am. and again, of course no one knows i feel that way but it’s like...do you not think it’s weird to have hangouts however often you do and virtually NEVER ask me? and i’ve said before idk who really makes the plans, i just know i don’t get asked. i know that i spend virtually every weekend at home and sure i do need to relax and be alone but not every weekend.

my life just feels so fucking pathetic and every time my friends ask something about one of my friends i don’t know anything bc our only conversations are usually just like someone sending something funny or whatever, nothing of like substance most of the time. and of course even those conversations are few and far between with most of the people i call friends. so sometimes when i go a long time without seeing them like this i’ll be like.....can i even continue calling this person a friend. especially after what happened with reece where i had no idea anything was wrong, i just figured we hadn’t talked in a bit and that was all, and apparently she was pissed at me for not making enough effort. and like i said, i know that’s a problem, but most people don’t reach out that much either. and even then a lot of the time it’s truly just like five messages and then it’s dead and i’m just not good at holding a conversation over text, not that i’m much better in person, but STILL

i just think of how i must look to everyone around me, what my parents see with someone who can’t get her life together and never socializes, what my friends must see with someone who’s still working for her dad after all this time even though she never wanted it...and i wanted this year to change at least on that front and then my body decided to attack me and it’s already hard enough thinking of what i really want in life under normal circumstances, plus the real fear: how to get there, so i absolutely have not been able to consider working on any of that this year as i had originally planned, and the time keeps passing, but....since i think hey, my entire body might fucking fall apart, well, i may not be able to work, so why bother wasting my time thinking about it until i know what’s gonna happen to me in the next months/years

anyway like...it’s just nice to know i’m being thought of and i get those moments here and there of course, and i know everybody’s got their own stuff but i’m just like. please god just ask me to hang out and do nothing i don’t caaaare what it is i just wanna get out of the house sometimes

#personal

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bluepandaengineer · 2 years ago

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I’m gonna try this again; a lot has changed in the past year. I got used to being alone, well at least almost. There were flings but not intense, no one to capture all of my attention, no one that I felt could make me decide to choose them.

And then you dropped into my life. I mean they dropped into my life. They were already a friend, but not anyone I thought I’d ever even consider. Anyways, you know how it starts with the talking and slowly it’s every day, all the time. All the stupid little things about your day or random facts about animals and then it gets to the feelings about family, the arguments you have with yourself, the insecurities.

I don’t remember exactly when I decided I wanted them, I just knew my feelings were growing and thought this might be good. I knew there was someone else in the picture, they’d always been transparent about that but I never thought she was someone to worry about. I was decently confident they liked me better bc I am better. Fucking Christ I am, and i know that sounds cocky but they’ve told me so much bad stuff or not great stuff about the other girl. But now I’m wondering do they do the same about me? Am I doing things wrong that they aren’t telling me but telling the girl? And then I spiral into the anxiety that’ll get so bad I’ll throw up or won’t be able to eat. Or I’ll try to get myself out of it, saying I’m worth it, I’m more then just a option, I shouldn’t feel like just an option. Someone would be lucky to have me bc I’ll try to give you everything I possibly could if you just asked and sometimes even when you don’t. I’ve got shit I’m still working through so you gotta be a little patient but I promise it’ll be worth it.

And then I spiral back, what if I’m being too much? What if I’m not enough? And I keep thinking about the everyone is you pushed out theory that told me about and so I try not to think all the negative things I have been. I am enough, I am enough, I am worth it, I am more than an option. I think it might be sticking kinda or maybe I’m just hoping it is.

But anyways, now they want space after spending a while evening and night with me which I thought went very well and I thought they did too. The only possibly mistake I made was asking them what they would’ve said if I asked first. They said they didn’t know which I’m okay with. And I’m okay with the space thing even if it makes my anxiety worse but I hate the space thing if now they’ll just spend all the ducking time with the other girl. Like what the hell man. They’ve said she’s manipulative and how it’s great in the moment and shitty after and how talking to me makes them realize how badly they’re actually being treated so why, why are they spending so much time with her?

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wooahaes · 2 years ago

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hi :( i’m not usually one to ask this but if your requests are open do you think you could right some comfort fluff with haruto or jeongwoo or junghwan for reader whos friends/roommates turn out not be really good friends? i just found out that my roommates have a gc without me and use it regularly even after so many things they’ve done wrong and have been excluding me for the past three months so i’ve just been really down lately bc idk what’s wrong with me :(

oh nonny :( i’m happy to provide some emergency comfort fluff if it’ll help! i’m sorry if this isn’t very good or feels out of character, but i hope it can bring you a little comfort at least <3

that’s so awful though? i’m so sorry that happened to you. please stay safe and take care of yourself during this time <3 sometimes you gotta deal with shitty friendships to figure out things out. trust me, i’ve been there waaay too many times right down to questioning if something’s wrong with me--but i’ve got friends who love me for me. the right people will recognize your worth as a person and love you, oddities and all, and try to include you in things (even if things don’t always line up--some of my closest friends had a major time difference with me). if you’re happy with the person that you are, then people will love you for you--and even if you aren’t, they’ll love and support you as you figure things out.

hoping for the best for you, anon. take care <3

a short distraction

pairing: non-idol!jeongwoo x gn!reader

word count: 1.0k~

warnings: bad friends mentioned, but theres a lot of comfort and maybe a life lesson in there

daisy’s notes: it’ll be okay, anon. process things as you need to and stay safe <3 make sure you drink water and take care of yourself! also sorry im still bad at titles

Even though Jeongwoo had been living next to you for years and only dating you for a few weeks, he didn't really have the best grasp on your friend circle. He hadn't really officially met them yet (things were still new and both of you wanted to test out the waters before introducing each other to said friend groups), but he'd noticed the way you'd talk about them. The fact that you never seemed to really hang out with the ones that claimed to be closest to you, or the way he'd sometimes see them out on their own without you. Truthfully, he just assumed that social outings weren't always your thing, and sometimes he knew that you were genuinely busy. Had he known that you hadn't been invited on purpose, he would have said something.

But, of course, life wasn't perfect like that. There were no dramatic revelations, no chance for him to step up and defend you (or to let you defend yourself, if you preferred it that way--Jeongwoo would have been happy to let it play out as needed). That was why he found you upset in the nearby park, sniffling to yourself to try and pull yourself together before you went back home. He'd been heading home from late practice at the dance academy, having parted ways with Junghwan earlier on, and he'd been looking forward to maybe sneaking out to sit with you outside for a little bit before the two of you parted ways for the night.

He called your name gently, crouching before you and looking up. "Did something happen?"

When you spilled your troubles, he listened and nodded along, moving from in front of you to sitting next to you with an arm tugging you closer. Hardships were easier to carry when you had someone there for them, and as your boyfriend it was probably his unwritten job to help you do so.

"That's awful," he mumbled, and his hand found yours after a moment. Sometimes it's hard to find the right words to say. "Come on," he said soon enough, standing and finding his wallet to check and make sure he had enough on him. "Let's go get something nice to share."

As you wiped your face on your sleeve, sniffling one last time, you rose to your feet. "Okay," you said, taking his hand and intertwining your fingers with his own.

There was a convenience store not far from your home that Jeongwoo and you frequent sometimes, usually gathering snacks for movie nights or grabbing something together on your way home from school. With his hand still tightly holding yours, Jeonwoo made small talk as he walked with you through the aisles, letting you pick whatever snack you wanted while netting himself an chocolate ice cream from the cold case. He made small talk, talking about how things went at the dance academy, or something that happened in class today, just to keep your mind off of your problems. With your treats paid for, Jeongwoo led you back outside to sit on the curb.

"I think... Real friends can be hard to come by," he said to you, shoulder pressed against yours, an unwrapped ice cream in his hand. "But my parents always said you can learn from the bad ones. Sometimes you realize what you really want in a friendship."

The bag rustled as you reached for another one of your candies. "Like people who don't abandon me?" It was sharp, and your "friends" honestly earned a jab like that in Jeongwoo's opinion, but he just nodded along.

"People who really value you," he said. "Like... Maybe you need people who will be open with you if they need space. Or maybe you need people who remember to invite you to things, even if you're busy sometimes." He tapped his toes against the pavement, thinking to himself for a moment. "Even the bad people can show you what you really want in a friendship."

He felt your weight sink into his side, and he leaned his head against yours. You ate another snack, shutting your eyes and letting his words sink in. "I guess."

"If I had a friend who didn't listen to me and we ended things, then I just know I need someone who will try to listen," he said. "Does that make sense?"

"It does," you said. "I still feel bad, though."

"That's okay," he said. "It's okay to feel hurt."

"What if I was the problem, though?"

Jeongwoo frowned. "Then they should have tried to be open with you. It's not your fault they excluded you instead of talking to you directly. If there was something that you did that bothered them, shouldn't they try to tell you instead of just cutting you out? People make mistakes, but... you said this was going on for months. I think... it stops being a mistake and starts being a decision, and you deserve people who make good choices."

"I guess."

Another frown, and he pressed a kiss into your hair. "You do. If I was upset with you, I'd talk to you about it. It's not fair to either of us if I didn't."

"That's because you're a good person," you quipped, face pressed against his shoulder. You could feel the warmth of his body through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. "You wouldn't just ditch me."

"Because I like you," he smiled, suddenly more sheepish. "You make me happy. So I want you to be happy, too."

Things fell into a more peaceful silence then, and he finished off the rest of his ice cream before it could drip down further his fingers. He wiped off the little bit of residue left on his fingertips, wiped at his mouth, and looked at you.

"Are you still upset?"

You nodded. "A little."

"That's okay," he said. "I'll be happy enough for both of us, then. And when you feel ready to move on, then we can be happy together, okay?" He smiled at you, "So... You should feel sad if you need to feel sad." Jeongwoo reached for his phone, unraveling his headphones. "I found a few new songs I wanted to show you. Let's listen together, okay?"

As you pushed one of the earbuds into your ear, there was a little spark of hope in your chest. Maybe things would be okay after all.

#wooahaes.ask #asks.anon #take care dear <3 i hope this brought you a little comfort at least #wooahaes.fic #treasure imagine #treasure x reader #treasure x you #treasure fics #treasure fluff #treasure comfort #jeongwoo fluff #jeongwoo x reader #park jeongwoo x reader #jeongwoo x you

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nevermindirah · 3 years ago

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Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

#nile freeman #linguistics #TOG POC Love Fest #nileweek2021 #tog meta #tog #long post #mine #antiblackness #jewish things #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it

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scott-is-hyperfixating · 3 years ago

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Shinkami HCs!!!!!

- Neither of them know how to cook anything other than eggs and noodles. Kaminari has tried to help Satou out in the kitchen before, but he doesn’t understand like any of the instructions. (Why the fuck would you put caramel on onions???)

- Both of them kinda suck ass at flirting tbh. Shinsou can be semi-smooth if he’s the first one to make a move but the second Kaminari reciprocates it’s over for him; he dies of embarrassment immediately. Kaminari continuously throws out various pick-up lines and shitty jokes but he’s panicking constantly

- Their favorite date activity is trivia contests. Kaminari has hyper-fixated (we know that bitch has adhd) on so much weird shit that he’s equipped with weird knowledge on just about any topic you could think of. Shinsou just knows a lot bc of the various interests of those he hangs around (The dekusquad and erasermic, primarily)

- The second they start dating, Kaminari tells the bakusquad (including jirou), who all separately text shinsou with various versions of a shovel talk. Shinsou tells the dekusquad in person in class the next day, and they seem to be chill at first, but then kaminari finds a note in his locker saying “treat him well.... or else...” and Uraraka mouths “You hurt him, I’ll kill you” at him in the middle of class.

- Kaminari always jokes that their “song” is Electric Love, but he really thinks it’s It’s Always Sunny With You by {Paratheses} (listen to it if you haven’t it slaps). Shinsou doesn’t think they have a “song” but he thinks of Kaminari every time he hears Electric Love now

- Every time they’re on opposite teams for a training exercise, Shinsou’s strategy for brainwashing Kaminari is just dramatically yelling, “How could you betray me like this?!” and Kaminari, never one to pass up an opportunity for a fake argument, almost always falls for it

- They don’t spoon when they cuddle, instead they face toward each other and Shinsou ends up shifting down so he’s tucked into Kaminari’s chest. Sometimes Kaminari will end up rolling on top of Shinsou and just spreading out like that

- They’ll both periodically buy random things at stores that remind them of the other. One time Kaminari gave Shinsou a shirt with that one garfield “you are not immune to propaganda” meme on it but he crossed out propaganda and wrote “brainwashing” in its place and whited out garfield’s pupils

- If asked what their favorite things about each other are, Kaminari will say, “He’s hot. Hahaha, for real though, he’s really determined and he’s got just what it takes to be a hero.” While Shinsou will say, “He’s funny, and always knows how to make the people around him happier... also he’s hot.”

- Kaminari doesn’t like flowers, so whenever a situation arises where Shinsou feels it’s appropriate to gift Kaminari a bouquet, he gives him an edible arrangement.

- When Kaminari meets Shinsou’s parents (who are erasermic) he’s so nervous he accidentally wears two shirts. It’s not really a big deal, and no one brings it up when he gets there, but it’s really obvious. It’s not even fashionable at all, it’s just two different-colored t-shirts with different necklines.

- Shinsou has gotten a decent amount of practice with long hair in since he’s Eri’s brother (yes I’m really pushing the erasermic family agenda rn) so when they’re just chilling, sometimes he’ll braid Kaminari’s hair or put it up in a little ponytail

- One time, at a school dance at UA (you can’t tell me they don’t have at least one) their friends pressure them into slow dancing in the middle of the dance floor during a slow song, but neither of them know what to do, so everyone at the dance just watches them awkwardly grip each other and turn in circles, visibly sweating

- Kaminari asks out Shinsou on accident. They were hanging out, watching random videos, when one of the videos said something like, “if you want to ask someone out, what you gotta do is lean in close and say, ‘xyz’” and Kaminari did it on autopilot, resulting in them just staring at each other for a minute or two. They eventually got their shit together, but they agree to tell everyone a much more flattering story as to how they ended up dating

#bnha #scott’s bnha #kaminari denki #shinsou hitoshi #shinkami #bnha headcanons #shinkami headcanons #fun fact a shinkami fic was the first fic I read for bnha

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ejcaswelll · 4 years ago

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Spare a few of ur favorite Caswen hcs for a friend?

how did u know i was literally thinking about caswen all day…………

i think ej becomes incredibly invested in getting ricky above a C average. like this kid is smart he’s just not trying and it pisses ej off that ricky could actually get into a decent college if he’d just sit down and skim his textbooks every once in a while. cue ej tricking ricky into study dates that are definitely more study than date. ricky whines about it but he still shows up every time bc it’s kind of. overwhelmingly nice to have someone other than nini believe he’s capable of more than what he’s currently putting out. also sometimes ej wears reading glasses and it really does something for ricky in a way he doesn’t like to look at too deeply.

i don’t wanna say that ej likes ricky more than ricky likes ej but like. there is a point in their relationship where that is very much the vibe if only because ej’s never in his life dated someone who’s not only seen him at his worst but also seen right through the image he’s projected his entire life. even with nini ej felt like he was pretending to be a version of himself he wanted to be. with ricky, he doesn’t have to pretend to be anyone else at all. ej can be his snappy, most miserable self and ricky doesn’t bat an eye. ricky even kind of likes sarcastic, biting ej. he’s so fun! so ej has no idea how to wrap his head around this and therefore kind of puts ricky on a pedestal for a while until things even out later down the line.

when ricky realizes he like likes ej he’s absolutely furious about it because he feels like he’s just fallen prey to the basic everyday caswell charm ej uses on everyone and ricky thought he was smarter than falling for shit like that but then one day ej met his eyes across the rehearsal room and smiled at him and ricky had thought ‘oh no oh no oh nooooo’. it doesn’t even matter that ej’s made it abundantly clear he likes him back. they’ll be kissing and ricky will be like ‘i can’t believe this. i can’t fucking believe i’m doing this. i cannot believe ej’s somehow tricked me into making out with him in the backseat of his stupid fucking car.’ ricky finds himself making self deprecating comments about being a caswell conquest and refuses to let ej hold his hand in the hallways. this lasts several weeks into them dating until nini’s like ‘you should probably like, sort out those weird fucking insecurities about ej dumping you, ricky’ and he’s like. oh.

ej gets a surge in followers when he starts uploading artsy, out of focus shots of ricky on his instagram in between his usual influencer fare. like we’re talking a photo of ricky’s vans tossed haphazardly in the corner of ej’s room, a photo of ricky from behind, hood up, as he skates down ej’s street at twilight, a photo of ricky’s curls over ej’s pillow. they all have cryptic captions and ej never tags him. ej goes viral through the entire salt lake student body for having just the weirdest fucking feed of both shitty, douchebag jock posts and these beautiful artistic shots of an entirely different life. ricky tells ej that the artsy shots are even more pretentious than ej’s regular feed and ej laughs. (ricky secretly saves them all to his phone.)

ej always walks ricky to his door like it’s a fucking movie and ricky relentlessly mocks it. one time ej deliberately stayed sat in the drivers seat and ricky had turned halfway to his door and looked at him with such a confused, doe eyed little look that ej had rolled his eyes and got out the car and led ricky the rest of the way up to his door. “i still think this is stupid,” ricky had said, desperately, as ej had gently pushed him against the door to kiss him. “uh huh,” ej had hummed just before leaning in. ricky only mocked it like, 30% of the time after that.

#these are all so weird and lengthy and specific they’re barely even hcs #that’s just how it be tonight folks!!#caswen #ej x ricky #mine: writing

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jayfortheday · 2 years ago

Note

eli with a reader who’s being mean/ sarcastic? but he comes to find out she does that bc she doesn’t wanna be taken advantage of and eli finally gets to see the nice side of her

Is This Different? (Eli Brooks)

Pairing: Eli Brooks x Reader (romantic or platonic)

Word count: 1007

Description: After Eli brings Y/N to one of his friend's houses, Y/N has an outburst. On the walk home, Eli talks to Y/N about why they've been behaving like this

Tags: language, angst, emotional hurt/comfort, self-deprecation, no reader pronouns used

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You didn’t have to say that, Y/N,” Eli said to you, a small disappointment in his eyes. You know you shouldn’t have, you knew it was unwarranted, it was just like you couldn’t stop yourself.

“It wasn’t like he didn’t have it coming,” you replied. You didn’t have to say that either, it just felt too hard to take it back. After that remark, you and Eli walked in silence.

It had been a small get-together at one of Eli’s friend’s house. Eli had talked you into coming, despite the fact you really didn’t want to. You had never met these people, so you were on edge before you even arrived. Right when you arrived, the host was all over you, introducing himself and giving you a lot of attention. He greeted Eli and tried to strike up a conversation with you while Eli went to sit on the couch. You hummed at the guy and walked over to the couch to sit next to Eli.

Throughout the hangout, people you didn’t know kept trying to talk to you. You could feel your anxiety getting high, and you really just wanted to get out of there. Once again, the host walked over to you.

“So, how did you and Eli meet?” He asked, holding a cup from the kitchen.

“Oh, just school, you know,” you replied coldly, and attempted to walk away. The guy then oriented his body slightly into your path.

“Oh come on,” he said, an awkward laugh in his voice. “You’re Eli’s friend, I just wanna get to know ya.” You could feel that you were about to say something you would regret. You tried to walk away again, but once again, he was in your path and you just exploded.

“God, I don’t wanna talk to you! Just leave me alone, you fucking freak!”

As your words rang through the now silent house, you ran to the front door and slammed it shut as you left. You sat awkwardly on the front step as you waited for Eli to exit the house. With no one around you and the only sound being the slight sprinkle of rain, you were left to stew in your thoughts. God, why did you have to do that? Why do you always do this?

Once Eli exited, you stood up and started walking, looking back to make sure he was following you.

“Why do you always do this?” Eli said quietly. You wanted to reply with something witty, something to brush him off, but you couldn’t think of anything.

“I don’t know, Eli,” you responded, pausing your movement. Eli stopped beside you. “I just…I just do, I guess. Maybe I’m just a shitty person.” He walked in front of you to look you in the eyes.

“Please, Y/N, just talk to me. It’s not just today, you’re like this all the time! You never take things seriously, you’re mean to everybody, why can’t you just be nice sometimes?”

You’d be lying if you said that didn’t sting a bit. You wanted to open up, you wanted to talk to him, but it just wasn’t that easy. Fuck it. It finally broke through that it was now or never. This was Eli’s breaking point, and if you didn’t want to lose him, you had to let him in.

“It keeps people away,” you said quietly, looking down at your shoes.

“What?” Eli said, concern in his voice.

“If I keep people away, I don’t have to worry about what they’ll do; how they’ll hurt me. It’s happened before and shit if I’m gonna let it happen again.”

You crossed your arms and bit your lip slightly. You wanted desperately to still appear cold and emotionless, but it was hard to stop the slight quivering of your lip. Eli reached up to grab your hand in his, smoothing over the back of your palm with his thumb.

“How about we just go back to your house?” He said with a slight sadness. His lack of a conclusive reaction was agonizing.

The walk home was quiet, but Eli held tightly onto your hand. He squeezed in a way that said that if he let go, he was afraid you would leave. When you arrived to your house, you unlocked the front door to allow Eli and yourself to enter. Eli shook the small bit of rain off himself and then sat on the couch. He pondered for a moment then tapped the space next ot him, signalling for you to sit with him. You obliged.

“You know I’d never hurt you on purpose, right?” His question was surprisingly direct. With Eli, you were more used to looking between the lines to find what he was asking, especially if the topic was heavier. “I really care about you, Y/N. I need you to know that.” You averted your gaze from Eli, opting instead to look at your thighs. You nodded timidly. His hand found yours again.

You lay down your head to rest in Eli’s lap, facing away from him. You brought your knees up to your chest and sighed.

“I’m sorry, Eli,” you apologized. You tried to keep your voice steady but you could tell Eli noticed it breaking.

“I know,” Eli sighed. “But I’m not the one to forgive you. I do really appreciate you trying, though.” He stroked your hair lightly.

You turned yourself to face Eli while remaining in his lap. You clung to his shirt and peered up at him through your eyelashes. Eli chuckled a little.

“I’ve never seen you act like this. It’s kinda nice,” he said lightheartedly.

“Shut up,” you responded, slightly annoyed, but you agreed with his sentiment. It was nice to let your walls down, to just let yourself be.

As you snuggled more into his stomach, Eli leaned down and kissed the top of your head.

“I love you, Y/N,” he sighed, leaning back up and petting your hair. You smiled weakly.

“Love you too, loser.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I know I diverted from the prompt a little, but my writing juices started flowing and this is where they took me. I really hope y'all like it! Angst/hurt comfort stuff is honestly some of my favorites to write. It is also 1am and I have work tomorrow so sorry if it's a little sloppy lol. Also to any of y'all waiting on other characters, I'm working on like 4 or so other things rn which will be coming in the next couple days, but anon, please keep sending requests ily

#eli brooks #eli brooks x reader #the girl next door #fanfiction #fanfic

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kbetacygni · 3 years ago

Text

take two

(i don’t think i can include gifs anymore. maybe that’s what broke my post. and yet the gifs were so important. i’m crying real tears of sterek)

(i also don’t think i can do a “keep reading” thing bc maybe that’s also what broke my post, so i’m sorry for clogging up everyone’s dash)

WELCOME TO A CRASH COURSE ON STEREK

dear @mimsyaf and anyone else who wants to hear me ramble about teen wolf: let me introduce you to stiles stilinski, derek hale, and conspicuously absent scott mccall who i will actually not be introducing you to.

“The baby” is Mieczyslaw “Stiles” Stilinski, who is not the “teen wolf” because he is human. He’s the “research guy” in every supernatural-crime-drama show. He’s hyperactive-awkward, goofy-anxious (he acts as the show’s comedy relief), witty and extremely stubborn, and drinks I Love My Friends juice every morning. He lives with his dad, the Sheriff (his mom passed away when he was a kid and it was just. horrible and he still deals with it), and he sometimes has panic attacks. He also drinks I Love My Dad juice every morning, and likewise his dad drinks I Love My Son juice. In Season 3 part 2 he gets possessed by a demon trickster fox spirit and goes on a murder rampage all while making dark sex eyes at everything, which is hot very terrifying and bad and genuinely pretty traumatic for stiles, too, so i’m sorry. (shoutout to dylan o’brien’s acting skills, teen wolf is so bad sometimes (all the time) but his work really shines through. buddy’s gonna get an oscar some day). In Season 1 and 2 he has a buzzcut which is probably where you’re getting the baby feelings.

“The brooding dark one who is clearly a werewolf and also not a teen” is Derek Hale who, as you guessed, is a werewolf but is also not the “teen wolf” because he’s. he’s just not. (Canonically his age is… very mixed because he was supposed to be three years older than Stiles in the pilot, and then somewhere down the line they racked up his age so it’s just confusing.) He’s very angsty/incredibly traumatized with a heart of gold. (The trauma thing happens pre-show and it’s… astronomically bad. won’t go into all the details but when he was a teen he got (really inappropriately horribly) manipulated by a werewolf hunter who then burned most of his family alive. and this is only one of the two traumatic events in his life). Anyways. He’s also not a police officer [see footnote 1], he’s in fact been arrested for accused murder and serial-killing and murdery things, despite the fact that Derek Hale Has Never Done Anything Wrong Ever and Stiles Stilinski will Die Defending That Truth. At one point he became an Alpha werewolf after killing his uncle, Peter Hale, who was an alpha who got his power by murdering his niece, Derek’s sister Laura Hale, who inherited her alpha power from their mother Talia Hale who was super badass and regal and it sucks that we only see her through one flashback some random dude. (also peter is resurrected and now serves as annoying villain / sassy comic relief / reluctant supporter to the pack). Alphas have Beta werewolves, which make up a pack. In canon Derek was kind of a shitty alpha to his betas, but to be fair, Derek was never taught how to be an alpha before his family died, and he’s literally like. 22 or something maybe. A lot of fanfics center around Derek healing and forming a supportive and strong pack (especially Stiles showing Derek that it’s okay to trust people and care about people because they care about you too). He has an awesome fidget spinner back tattoo.

And finally, assuming that the werewolf teenage cast member from the Crucible and the brooding policeman some guy of Eastern European descent are Stiles and Derek… Yes. They do bang [see footnotes 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6] among other things like deep declarations of love and companionship and the promise that they’ll take care of each other (god i wish this were true).

(mimsy if you can believe this, there were so many important gifs in my original essay. and now they are lost in time. like... tears... in rain.)

(anyways i feel the urge to expand on all my thoughts of sterek and why they fit together so well but that’s legitimately going to take a thousand words so I’ll just say. They’re good together. Sun and moon.)

(also i… actually don’t know what the werewolf lifespan is, because there’s one werewolf that shows up in a WW2 flashback and is still pretty much the same in the present day. but your reverend hale thing is giving me ideas.)

Extra note: Beacon Hills Police Department unfortunately does not allow babies on the police force but they do allow Stiles to basically do whatever the hell he wants re: Charlie Kelly conspiracy boards because remember, Stiles’ dad is the sheriff! (and also later in the show Stiles joins the FBI so he’s. there)

—————

[1] despite what the “Deputy Derek Hale” Ao3 tag may lead you to believe.

[2] they don’t. i’m sorry i lied. canonically they don’t.

[3] but as veterans of a certain karate show with a certain two people who do certain things, we can… see.

[4] in all honesty sterek was... massively queerbaited, like during so many cons and events the actors and the producer were like “maybe sterek will happen in the tv show, idk, we’ll see [wink wink].” promo material for new seasons sometimes overemphasized sterek scenes to increase engagement. many actors on the show (including, i think, both actors for stiles and derek?) said that they supported sterek. and there was literally a video where stiles and derek’s actors CUDDLED on a boat and said things like “we’re on a ship pun intended”… but anyways all of this shows the gorilla grip that sterek had on the entire show, even though it wasn’t canon. and regardless of canonity, in my opinion stiles and derek had the best character flavor-development-dynamic of the entire show.

[5] i hope you are astounded by the fact that on ao3 sterek ranks among the top three ships (with johnlock and destiel ahead).

[6] in my sterekposting heart and in all the sterek fics i’ve read. they are so ridiculously in love that it hurts. they live and they heal and hold each other and where one goes the other follows and also derek sneaks into stiles’ bedroom through the window that’s just the free space bingo square for every sterek fic

#derek hale #stiles stilinski #sterek #selfposting #teen wolf

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turtle-steverogers · 3 years ago

Note

she is very long so. enjoy😌

- Steve n Bucky going to the bodega down the street from their apartment. it’s open till like 4am and they go at all hours. sometimes they’ll go separately but they always go together when they go in between 12-4 am and no one who works there questions why

- they get a cat that they treat her like their child. it’s Alpine ofc😌 steve loves her so much but he knows it’s Bucky’s Cat and he’s fine with it

- you know how some siblings or partners or friends can communicate with their eyes and basically have telepathy? they totally have that and it annoys the shit out of every single person they meetjdksndks. someone will be talking to them and they will just make eye contact with each other bc it reminded them of an earlier convo they had or they both got annoyed by the other person or it reminds them of an inside joke or something and it just irritates EVERYONE. no one is able to intercept it and it’s just a thing that no matter what - even though they don’t mean to - you’ll feel a little left out when you’re with steveandbucky. it just comes with the gig. i like to imagine that depending on if it’s an au or not, its either really obvious or not. like in an au then yes it’s obvious they can have non verbal conversations, but if it’s not an au then it’s not entirely obvious bc they’re enhanced humans and they know how to hide their secret conversations. but everyone they talk to is essentially an enhanced human or has special abilities so it’s obvious to them and they catch them in the act LOL. if they’re interacting with regular people then it’s not very obvious though

- DATE NIGHT!!! yes they’re old yes they have date night. when they go out it’s usually to places in their neighborhood, but a lot of the time they like to stay in bc. they’re old men <3 steve is better at cooking and bucky is better at baking bc you can get creative with cooking and steve likes that more. he enjoys baking a lot too but he thinks bucky’s stuff tastes better. whenever they stay home though there’s ALWAYS a movie. always. they alternate choosing but there is always a movie to watch. bucky usually falls asleep nearing the end and steve plays with his hair😌 he rolls his eyes cause it happens every time but he actually likes when it happens bc he can braid strands of hair together

- pet names oh my god. so many pet names. every single one. mainly from bucky. steve uses them but maybe like two. he favors sweetie and buck and that’s it really. sometimes he uses hon. bucky though oh my god. every single pet name under the sun. so many variations of doll you wouldn’t believe - baby doll ofc, dolly, stevie doll. sweetheart. sweetness. blondie. pretty boy. hot stuff. stevie. baby. hon. honey. sunshine. angel. it’s just so many. and it’s like very sickening insane twisted etc but hot at the same time. most people are like jeez barnes do you ever shut up… but most of these people secretly think it’s a little hot theyre thinking damn where is that affection for me…. i need me a bucky barnes :| steve is the only smitten kitten outwardly even if he huffs and puffs sometimes but it’s obvious he enjoys it. like they are so annoyingjdkssn for real they aren’t a pda couple really but the petnames….. so many. so so so many it’s sickeningly sweet but bucky dgaf! steve is his sweetheart his dolly his baby his angel so he’s going to call him these things!

- steve knows his body is what is considered “perfect” but he still is insecure about it around most people and bucky knows this so when steve lounges at home in bucky’s boxer briefs and his own tee shirt or he kicks off his pants when he’s too hot at night in bed bucky is reminded of just how much steve loves him and feels comfortable around him which is something he always strives for - to make steve comfortable. not baby him because steve bitches at anyone that does that to him but to make him feel comfortable

- and on the subject of feeling comfortable i imagine that they always check in with one another but it’s very subconscious they hardly realize they do it. like steve will bitch at bucky to pick up his shoes from their doorway or to clean his hair from the shower drain but the next second he will ask him if his back still hurts from being kicked by sam and from where steve AND alpine scratched him (in very different ways)

- steve is the sweater husband and bucky is the sweatshirt husband. they trade off a lot but that’s just how their closets look

- steve takes a liking to crop tops 😌 but ONLY around the house bc again he’s really truly only comfortable around bucky. he wears em with boxer briefs or sweatpants but you can guarantee that the briefs and sweats usually just end up on the floor 9 out of 10 times

- hair ties everywhere. they can be found on the floor in the laundry in their bed in the couch on top of the fridge on their fire escape. they are literally everywhere. steve just picks them up and puts them in the bathroom but they always make their way back. he doesn’t say anything to bucky until he finds alpine chewing one and she ends up smacking herself in the face with the hairtie

- their fridge is always full with leftovers and food from sam or clint’s or whoever’s house or takeout. they always eat it all but they get and make a lot of food so the fridge is always full

- subconsciously bucky always has a hand on the back of steve’s neck. like it’s not ENTIRELY a possessive thing but he used to do it a lot when steve was small because it was easy and it was comfortable. for him and just for him and steve. it was like swinging an arm around steve’s shoulders or putting a hand on his shoulder. it was just natural and easy so he did it. a part of him back then prewar did it possessively too, but he always tampered that down bc steve wasn’t his. now he does it without shame

- steve really likes tofu and vegan meat, non dairy milk like almond and soy, and overall a lot of non dairy vegan foods, and a lot of fruits. he gets made fun of for a lot specifically about the vegan stuff but his reasoning is that there’s so much food accessible for people with allergies in the future that he wished existed a hundred years ago so he’s going to try it and stick with it if he likes it. people shut up after that

- he also tips a little more than he needs to everywhere he goes. everywhere. like it’s cool when steve rogers walks in to a restaurant bc he’s a superhero or whatever but its REALLY cool because he leaves a generous tip and that’s what really makes peoples day

- before they get legally married they are still very much married. like “i packed you lunch, meet me at the restaurant instead of me going to pick you up bc it’ll take longer, i got takeout let’s bitch together while we watch shitty reality tv, let’s bitch at EACH OTHER through the phone in public, let’s send each other ugly pictures of each other or funny texts while we’re right next to each other, i’m out with a group and you’re not there and i say multiple times ‘i miss steve/bucky’, let’s yell at each other from opposite ends of the apartment instead of getting up to see each other, steve i’m going to fuck you on the couch bc our room is too far, etc.” they are just very much married without the documents and legalities and it’s very obvious

okay all of these were ABSOLUTELY wonderful and im really going to restrain my urge to respond to each and every one but that might be futile

-okay YES they definitely go to that bodega at all hours, and usually it's for normal things when they go separately: milk, cereal, toilet paper. but when they go in the middle of the night, they almost always purchase some like odd assortment of candies and deli meat. also, they're always in their pajamas. like bucky's in plaid pj pants and a star wars sweatshirt, and steve is in like 5" shorts and a huge crewneck and they're both in slides and they definitely only speak russian to each other when they're in there after hours

-yes alpine! they also have a dog, that is more steve than bucky's!! his name is norman in my headcanon (and a couple of my fics) and he is best boy

-okay i need more of this in my general stucky life: steve and bucky being like,,, best friends as well as lovers and being so seamlessly close. like yeah, they definitely talk with their eyes, or just one glance, or half-sentences ("hey, did you ever get to--" "yup, on the way home. it was so--" "yeah, good. glad to hear") and they know exactly what the other is saying.

-yes to the date nights!!! and when they stay in to watch movies, they make Tons of popcorn. and they Have to make separate batches, because steve will Only eat his with like half a bottle of that powdered white cheddar on his

-YES we share the same fucking headcanon for petnames on god

Steve: love you, buck:)

Bucky: love you, pumpkin

-Steve definitely has body dysmorphia, probably even post serum (I have lots of thoughts on this, that might be a different post) and yeah, Bucky definitely knows its Big that he feels comfortable enough to be exposed around him (and he's even more honored that steve lets him be intimate with him, because that's really hard for steve, too)

-yeah! and easy check ins like "ur stomach still bothering you from last night?" "oh, no it was just a little bug turns out" or like "my head hurts:(" "i have meds in my bag. you want?" "yeah, just two" or like subtly checking on injuries, yeah

-yeah the sweater versus sweatshirt tracks tbh i picture steve in a lot of crewnecks so yeah

-STEVE IN CROP TOPS STEVE IN CROP TOPS and i raise you they're often ones he's cropped himself and he's also painted on! or bleach painted!! and theyre so cool and bucky never wants to make a big deal out of it, but he's so proud of steve for expressing himself like that

-ALPINE SMACKING HERSELF ALKFJALSDKFJA also steve always has a hairtie on HIS wrist in case bucky forgets one for himself

-they also always have Steve Staple Foods cuz i headcanon steve as a picky eater (adhd!steve + serum enhancements, it's down to a formula) so they have a lot of Kraft mac and cheese and easy heat up meals and lunch meats around for when he's having bad food days

-OMG and steve absolutely MELTS i raise you, too, bucky will especially hold the back of his neck when he needs to get steve to Chill Out. so like if he sees him stressing he'll put his hand on the back of his neck and squeeze and literally feel the tension drain from him or like if steve is having a panic attack, he'll hold the back of his neck while they breathe together

-yes and also any time that steve is Choosing food for himself and feeling motivated to eat it, it's a win, so people learn to back off there, too

-yes! he tips generously, but never awkwardly or offensively. he's also super kind and patient to food service workers!

-this last point is so perfect i cant. like yeah, back to steve and bucky just being,,,, the best of friends. ugly selfies galore, shoving their feet in each other's face, flicking each others ears. and yes, all the fucking gossiping. on the phone gossip, venting, fun gossip from around work. they talk about it all. and it's so great for them

thank you again for stopping by! your thoughts are impeccable!

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #stucky headcanons #long post #domestic anon

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tea-and-la · 3 years ago

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You’re right, it is very annoying how some people (usually a certain brand of Zukka shippers) insist that Zuko HAS to be gay and Toph HAS to be a lesbian.

I mean we all know that the only reason that they think Zuko HAS to be gay is so that people won’t ship him with women instead of with Sokka.

I also find that a lot of Zukkas will insist that Mai, Ty Lee, Toph, and sometimes even Suki and/or Yue all HAVE to be lesbians. You know what all of those girls have in common? They all canonically dated or expressed romantic interest in Zuko or Sokka. Connect the dots.

Obviously not everyone who has those headcanons is like that. People can and should be allowed to headcanon characters however they want. Personally I view Zuko as bisexual and Toph as straight (none of the popular F/F Toph ships appeal to me and I generally find that portrayals of her as LGBT aren’t to my tastes because some - not all - people who headcanon her as such will often exaggerate her masculinity/androgyny far beyond the extent to which it exists in canon in order to make her the “man” in the relationship as well as ignore that the reasons for her gender nonconformity are heavily tied to her trauma and disability and have very little to do with sexuality, which is something that squicks me out. Also dislike how society at large seems to really hate the idea of GNC women being with men because that means they’ll be forced to reconsider their perception of gender roles within M/F relationships). However, those are just my interpretations.

"it is very annoying how some people (usually a certain brand of Zukka shippers) insist that Zuko HAS to be gay and Toph HAS to be a lesbian."

yes exactly! i'm all for people having their head canons, but there is no reason to shame others because they have a different one than you. it reeks of privilege because no head canon is more "right" than another. and also, why are we gatekeeping characters from having other lgbtq+ identities that other fans can identify with? seems very exclusionary to me.

i think the thing that bothers me about zookas is that they will take scenes like the jinko fountain scene and use it as "proof" that he's gay. bc zuko hesitated at first and also because he pulled away and ran away. like, there's so many other reasons for that, including the one that's actually, ya know, canon. zuko was nervous. it's his first teenaged date, so ofc he would be a bit awkward about it. not to mention that he is a decent enough person to not want to complicate a girl's feelings for him because she doesn't know the real him. he even says in the tale of the earth kingdom novelization that he likes this girl. and he says in canon that he had a nice time. that's not to say that people can't head canon what they want, but to say things like "there's no het explanation for this." there's literally several, actually.

another thing that i've seen is zookas use the "zuko gay" in response to zutaras, but then they'll also simultaneously ship m*iko. and it's just so obviously a bias/convenience thing because if you hc him as gay (which is fine), why would you like a ship of him with a woman??? just say you hate zutara and go.

back to toph, because i've been meaning to speak on this for a while. so toph is my favorite character and i head canon her as nonbinary and pansexual. it is actually partially through my appreciation of toph's character that i realized that i was nonbinary. so when certain people gatekeep and confine her to one identity because of stereotypical traits and behaviors, i take it very personal.

none of toph's popular F/F ships appeal to me either, but i do see her as LGBTQ+. i have to agree that the way she is masculinized does cause me significant discomfort, especially wrt to people who do so to limit her "desirability" for aang.

i also find that a lot of people will head canon aang as nonbinary or GNC (i do as well). so in the case of toph being lesbian, she could potentially still be attracted to aang. so why then, do people act like it would just be a het relationship? it doesn't make sense. they're both queer as fuck. not to mention that i've had to endure months on twitter with people saying that kateeng is wlw (which gives me the HIVES) because aang is nonbinary. so suddenly, when it's taang, aang's a straight man and/or toph would have to be straight. these people talk themselves into circles i swear. it's just easier to admit that you want aang only for katara than to sit here and come up with flimsy excuses.

i wish people would just admit that they don't think toph is feminine enough for aang. i've seen so many shitty takes about how toph would be abusive to aang and always hurt him, or that they would argue a lot (which is comical because kateeng canonically has 3 big fights.) it's just upsetting how toph is treated and perceived by certain people in the fandom to push their agendas.

for me personally, i see aang and toph as nonbinary pan. so i see their relationship pretty much free of gender roles and they are equals. they already have a good foundation for childhood friends to lovers. i just don't get why people hate taang so much and would instead rather invest time in a ship with a side character from ONE comic (no offense to any tophl*ngs out there, but the ship literally gives me not one fuzzy feeling.) in lieu of her best friend that she spends two seasons with, has multiple interactions with in the comics, etc. i feel like this is mainly because toph isn't perceived as "shippable" and is cast to the side, which sucks because she's my favorite character.

#slight salt #i get really bitter when people hate on taang

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misterghostfrog · 4 years ago

Text

So I was reading someones post about what if Jon went back in time to save everyone, and he managed it. He kept Martin away from Prentiss, he Kept Sasha alive, Tim never even know the unknowing existed and he never had Jons paranioa to ruin him. But They never knew, there was never those moments of bonding between the terror. Martin never had that moment when he realized Jon wasn’t just his shitty boss. And sure the assistants were close, but there was no room for Jon. And it gave me thoughts.

Under the cut bc I started to Ramble and it got Long, warning; its Big Sad Hours down there. No happy endings here.

Jon solves all these problems before they start, he fixes it without anyone ever knowing. The assistants are blissfully unaware, maybe he stops sending them on ‘real’ statement followup. The archives are a normal, safe job for all of them. Sometimes it gets too much, pretending he doesn’t know them. So he’ll record, mostly for himself. Sometimes for them, though he’ll never share. He sticks them all in Gertrude's old storage locker, where he knows they’ll never be found.

And then something goes wrong. He knows the unknowing can’t work, of course it can’t. But Nikola doesn’t, none of the avatars know. And Nikola still wants her skin. She still wants his skin, actually. And she’s not afraid to play dirty to get it, she’s hands-on like that. Because why stop at the archivist when he’s got so many lovely ignorant assistants?

So he fixes the problem before she can make good on her threats, she can’t be killed that easily. He knows. But she died during the unknowing, and there are some pretty simple steps to follow to replicate that result. He knows the easiest way to make sure it works is also a death sentence for him. But that’s a simple choice to make. Alright no, it’s not. He’s terrified of death, of dying. He doesn’t want to die, but he can lie to himself. He can delude and say maybe he’ll get another chance. And just in case, he makes sure the assistants know they can quit now.

Tim, Sasha, and Martin don’t know what to make of the news that their boss died mysteriously in an explosion. They know even less what to make of the notes he left them.

Clearly the ramblings of a very unstable man. They all knew Jon was a bit off but this... Well, they all know there’s something weird about the job. But the apocalypse? Really?

Sasha believes some of it, she’s worked in artifact storage. She’s seen what this stuff can do. But, well. Jon’s never come off as the most stable person, and with no proper proof to back up any of this there’s no reason for them to follow suit. After all she’s known lots of people to quit the institute, she even knows for a fact that Eric Delano did it when she was rooting through employee records for perfectly rational legal reasons.

Then Martin gets called up to Elias’s office, and gets the news he’s the new head archivist.

He tries to turn it down, but he’s offered a pay-raise and a promise that he can step down anytime if he doesn’t feel suited to the position. Elias just sees so much potential in him.

Martin tries to feel flattered and not thoroughly terrified by the way Elias says potential. He takes the promotion, after all, he can always step down if it’s too much.

He offers as much when he finds out Sasha probably should have been given the position, but she turns him down. It’s not his fault their boss is a sexist old bastard, and at this rate he’d probably just turn around and give it to Tim.

Things are normal for a few months. Until slowly a strange noise starts to be heard around the archives, a weird sort-of squishing sound with no source. Along with a metallic scent of meat.

An infestation, of course. They’re getting the problem worked on, or so Elias says. But aside from the occasional exterminator coming in to ‘take a look’ nothing ever seems to change. Weird statements start showing up on Martins desk, surrounding meat and twisted up things, eaten alive and wrong. Suddenly he understands how Jon went off his rocker so easily.

It’s hard to believe all this supernatural stuff as it’s suddenly getting crammed down his throat, after so long of the archives being normal in almost every sense of the word it’s like missing a step on the staircase. The more awful statements he finds- that Tim and Sasha confirm -the more he realizes how much his boss was hiding from them.

He wants to quit, he thinks about it, he tries to think about it. But he just, can’t.

It’s another or two month before it happens. Meat and bone and gristle erupt from the floor, taking on horrible mangled shapes of almost-humans reaching out with hands full of teeth and hungry.

They all survive, though Tim gets eaten up a bit more than the rest of them. And they’ll all have nightmares for the rest of their lives. They’re alive.

And they find Gertrude’s body, though none of them know how to feel about it. They’ve realized by now there’s something to Jon’s nonsensical ramblings. And they’re long past regretting not quitting before this all happened.

There’s a section of document storage that got uncovered during the cleaning,an old cot that was shoved behind some of the shelves, and a box that had a few sets of clothes, an old teacup, and a key. The cleaners say they burned the clothes, but the cup and the Key are given to Martin for him to keep to return to whoever left their things in the archive.

Neither of those items belong to Tim or Sasha, so they all assume they belonged to Jon.

They start following Jons footsteps, they find out he was a suspect in an arson case surrounding Carlos Vittery’s old apartment. Nobody was there except one unidentified body. He was arrested for trespassing on a dock, though no charges were filed. There was an incident that ended in the near arrest of one Jude Perry, though no charges were filed and she soon fell off the grid. And then he exploded using C4 he had no way of getting, Nothing concrete, no proper genuine evidence except a series of weird encounters their dead boss had.

Martin Decides to try and hunt down Jude Perry, it takes some time. He has a very nice cup of tea with one Micheal Crew. Who points him in a general direction and is just a bit weird about tall buildings.

Martin finds Jude, and asks her about Jon. She laughs at him, of course. But she tells him anyway. Jon was trying to have her arrested- no, not arrested. Killed. Officer Tonner would have seen to that, he knew one of the Hunt could do her in, well. At least of Officer Tonner’s sort anyway. Jude resisted, naturally. He escaped her clutches only barely, by running. Like a coward. And she escaped the policewoman by playing innocent. She’s still on her tail though, damn dog. It’ll be a long time before she’d rid of her, but she knows better than to run. Oh, he doesn’t know what any of that means, does he? Oh he really doesn’t, how sweet. Just a little baby archivist- she was going to kill him after this. But watching him stumble into his own ruin will be so much more fun.

She sends him on his way with a burn.

Martin is terrified, he genuinely tries to quit. Almost manages it before his computer shuts off. The others try too, and then they all have a lovely freak-out together.

They decide to try and talk to Detective Tonner, which proves easy. She’s the partner of the one who’s been interviewing them. She comes to the institute, and they ask her about Jon. She tells them they believed he was responsible for killing Gertrude, seeing as he was next in line. Martin accidentally Compels her into a statement, and then into admitting she's mostly just saying he killed her because dead men don’t put up fights.

She threatens him right then and there, though Basira comes in and intervenes before anything happens. He files a dispute with the station, and avoids the police after that.

Basira brings him some of the tapes, she says it’s an apology. He’s pretty sure she’s just trying to get him to drop the dispute in the weirdest way possible. He does learn some about Gertrude though, and through her what he’s dealing with. And something about an ‘unknowing’

A man named peter Lukas visits the institute, one of the doners. Elias says he wants to see how the archive runs, Lukas says a few choice words about it. And Martin tells him in the most polite of terms to shove off. Lukas threatens him, and very briefly makes him forget everyone he’s ever loved. And then tells him he got off lucky, and that Elias should have picked a better archivist. You can hardly trust someone so childish to run something as important as this now can you.

Daisy visits him in his home, and threatens him in much more physical terms now. She tells him if he tries to do what he did to her again he’ll get more than a scar.

After that it’s a bit unclear how he gets marked by the next two (Curruption, Stranger.) but he does.

There’s a delivery, a few weeks after the stranger mark. It’s not supernatural in any sense, just a young woman dropping off a small box in the archivists office. She says her name is Georgie, and no, she doesn’t know what’s in the box. She just had an old friend tell her to deliver it if he didn’t check in after a bit. Then she found out he died on the news, and then she hadn’t wanted to deliver them- clearly whatever was in the box was going to get someone killed. And she wasn’t scared of it, she wasn’t one for fear, but the thought of putting anyone in danger made her skin crawl. But she didn’t want it in her house, and she refused to be haunted be this box forever. And there was no reason to defy the poor guys apparent final wishes- wait, why was she saying all this again?

In the box was tapes, a dozen or so of them. All addressed to ‘the next head archivist’

It’s Jon’s voice, on the tapes. Talking to who he apparently assumes to be an entire stranger, explaining the fears. And how Smirkes 14 wasn’t wrong, but wasn’t right either. It tells the next archivist to avoid eyes, paintings, doodles, abstract representations, and to keep playing dumb. There’s a lot out there, and the more you know the worse it gets. There’s no fighting, don’t struggle the nets already around you. There’s a way out, but you’re not going to like it.

It gives an odd image of Jon, the man who awkwardly tried to make small-talk int he break room, only to shuffle away after it fell flat. Carrying this world-ending secret on his shoulders. Stiff, awkward Jon. Grim, sad Jon. not so far apart but still so far outside of what Martin had known about him.

What had Martin known about him?

Tim decides to quit, Sasha stays. Elias hires Melanie. Who turns out to be another connection to Jon.

Melanie says he was kind of a prick, he belived her about her Sarah incident, but refused to give her library access. Probably because he was sexist, or maybe just a dickhead. She’d been trying to learn more about her encounter for ages. And this was finally her chance. They try to explain the way out but she won’t listen.

Martin starts following Gertrudes tapes, things about the unknowing have been popping up on his desk lately, and it sounds like Jon was right about an apocalypse. He goes to america, gets a bit kidnapped, and meets Gerry. He offers to help, and then asks about the unknowing. Gerry points him towards the storage locker. And when he gets back He and Sasha and Melanie check it out.

It’s mostly empty, apparently somewhat recently cleared out. Though in the corner there’s a large box of Tapes. There has to be dozens of them, and when they pres play it’s Jon. Talking to them. Except it’s not them, it’s another version of them, and something this version.

And there’s another Jon to add to the mystery of a man he was. The jon on these tapes isn’t stiffly awkward or forcedly professional. He’s open, sad. He cries, he laughs at memories they don’t have. He apologizes, a lot. Too much really. He talks about time travel, about forgetting faces and losing friends.

“Sometimes I-I think- I can’t help but be a bit... upset. At how unfair it all is. You’re all happy and laughing and together and i’m-

i’m alone.

I suppose it must be some sort of- cosmic Karma, I doomed the world so in this new one bright an new I pay my penance in isolation.

Or maybe it’s the other way around. I doom the world- suffer its horrors, and get a little bit of time to taste what humanity would be like.

Or maybe i’m just not that likable without an apocalypse.

Probably says a lot about me either way.

Is it bad that I- I sometimes consider letting things play their course? W-without any of you dying of course I just... I suppose it is bad, to want to end the world because you’re lonely. Just because i’m a bit sad doesn’t mean the planet should suffer, no... maybe i’ll try and reconnect with Georgie, it’s been... well. No. Perhaps best not.”

Sasha says that if she knew she would have at least brought him out for drinks or something.

But they did sort-of know didn’t they? Not about the apocalypse, but about the loneliness. After all, nobody chats so awkwardly in the break room because they have a thriving social life.

“I’m going to kill Nikola tonight- i’m not going to die. I’m not. I didn’t die last time, a-and there’s no reason for that to change. T-there isn’t. I’m going to try and be a safe distance from the blast this time, too. But... Well, it’s not like I have anyone to miss me if I do go.

I suppose... Martin, if you’re listening to this- I... I miss you. You always did say I should be more open with my feelings, and it’s weird. To miss someone who’s right there. T-to look at a face and see a friend and a stranger. To love someone you’ve known for years who doesn’t even really know who you are.

It’s all very stranger, ironic really. Considering what i’m about to do.

I love you, and I miss you. I know you’re not listening, even if I did die you’ve probably long since quit. I hope you’re happy, whatever you’re doing. Happy and safe. All of you.

And maybe you are listening, maybe... maybe we do become friends, maybe you actually choose to talk to me someday. Maybe I tell you about all of this and... And you don’t think i’m mad. Maybe you let me take you out to dinner and we’d be together again. We’d never be like before- not that that’s a bad thing what with the eldritch horrors. There’d be bits missing, memories we don’t share- but, it would still be you... It’s always been you, I think. And maybe I've decided to give this to you as some sort of silly romantic gesture.

A-and in that case. I love you, Martin Blackwood. More than you’ll ever know.

[HE SIGHS]

When I come back, i’m recording over this.”

[CLICK]

But he didn’t come back. He died that night. He died loving Martin, who never even really knew him beyond passing awkward conversation. Martin doesn’t know how to feel about it, besides guilty that is.

The tapes point them towards Georgie Barker, the woman who delivered the other set to the archives.

Georgie doesn’t really want anything to do with them, she knows whatever they’re stewing in got Jon killed. But she tells them about her encounter with The End, though she’s tetchy afterwards. Martins finally starting to understand this whole compelling business and is feeling pretty sorry about it. He redirects, he starts to ask about Jon. Who he was, really. What she knew he was like.

They talk, Martins curiosity is part Eye and part knowing that someone loved him, really, really loved him. And feeling like he missed out, like he skipped a train he hadn’t known was there. And wanting to know what kind of person would- could love him the way Jon did. And why that kind of person could end the world.

They talk, Georgie explains why they broke up (clashing ideals, he didn’t believe in the supernatural and her trauma was so inherently tied to it. He was a sleep-clinger and she kicked when she dreamed) And why it took so long for them to break up (Jon was funny once you learned to get his jokes, the Admiral loved him, he had a weird way of caring that was really sweet) they talk about things, Georgie lets him hang out with her as long as he promises to keep the supernatural out of their conversations. And how is Melanie doing by the way?

Sasha has a hard time splitting her time in the archive and helping Tim. He can manage himself of course but it’s hard knowing he’s sitting in her flat alone, he’s getting back into publishing though. Sleeping easier now he knows that not only is he free of the eye, but Jon very much killed the thing that killed Danny. He only wishes he could have been the one to pull the trigger. Sasha is getting more involved though, the eye has it’s own grip on her.

They finally confront Elias. They know it won’t do any good, Jons tapes explained what he was, who he was. But they’re frustrated. Low on options. Jon never really explained what the apocalypse was- if Martins learned anything from the other tapes it’s probably because he forgot, thought he did somewhere and didn’t.

Elias isn’t entirely surprised that they’ve figured it out, he knew something was going on. Though he wasn’t quite sure what. He claims he knows what oncoming apocalypse Jon was talking about, and that he was likely underestimating the amount.

He sends them to Ny-Ålesund. And Martin views the black sun. Gets briefly taken hostage by Manuela. And gets “saved” by a man who pops out of a door to stab her.

He says his name is Micheal, and he’s not there to help. He does his whole distortion bit, confuses them. Stabs Martin when he tries to take his statement. Says he was going to kill him, but what happens next might be much better than death. And leaves after stating that he’s very excited to watch how the rest of this plays out.

They go back to the institute, and Elias says he must have been wrong. Oopsie. Anyway the web is planning a ritual you should go check out the spooky house from all these statements.

They meet Annabelle in person, Martin gets marked by the web.

This continues on for the end the slaughter and the buried. They finally confront Elias again about these wild goose chases, he claims innocence but he’s done it enough times they don’t believe him. They stop trusting Elias. Not that they ever really did, but they stop listening to him.

Melanie isn’t as angry as she was. Though she is still angry. She didn’t go to india so no ghost bullet, but she’s still trapped. Though she knows how to quit, it’s been a scary idea. But the longer she stays the more she realizes how low she is on options. So she quits.

Martin is angry, he’s exhausted, he’s confused. Nothing makes sense. And another one of Elias’s goddamn doners is visiting. A weird old man who, when he shakes his hand, makes him feel like he just dropped off a rollercoaster at a million miles into empty nothingness. He laughs when Martins regained himself, and says that that tricks better than a buzzer every time.

He visits Georgie again, he’s thinking about quitting. But he can’t figure out what the apocalypse he’s supposed to stop is, because according to Jon it’s pretty bad. And he’s the one who can stop, or maybe start, it. But he doesn’t know what it is.

He talks to Georgie about Jon some more, it’s funny, to grieve a man you already knew. Except four years too late. There’s a sort-of helpless frustration to it, every time he talks about Jon he wishes he could be learning this first-hand. Not from someone who hadn’t spoken to him in years before this.

He also finds himself glued to the tapes, he can relate, in a way. To Jons loneliness. To have a person so, so close but so far away. He wishes he could meet the Jon on the tapes now. Then neither of them would have to be lonely. But Jon is dead. And Martin... Martin might love Jon. Jon, who died years ago. A dead man who apparently loved him enough to consider ending the world for the chance to have a real conversation with him.

He goes back to work, frustrated and so, so lost. A million questions that genuinely can’t be answered. There’s a fresh statement on his desk. It’s a statement of Jonah Magnus, regarding stopping the apocalypse.

Certainly a goddamn roundabout way of giving Martin information, but he’ll take it.

He reads the statement.

The world ends.

Sasha, Tim, Melanie, and Georgie all get their own domains. And wander free in the hills of suffering. Martin is alone, well and truly alone. He ended the world, because he was too stupid and sad to read a few extra paragraphs before starting the tape.

But Jon went back, didn’t he? He went back in time and stopped this once. Maybe Martin can too. Maybe he can stop the flesh from attacking, maybe he can stop Melanie from joining the institute. Maybe he can meet the real Jon.

He goes back, he does it. Nobody remembers but him.

Nobody remembers but him.

And things keep happening he can’t have predicted.

Worms, Sasha is gone, Gertrude. It’s all wrong. And Jon isn’t the Jon he knew, he doesn’t know Martin, he doesn’t even like Martin. Nobody is the person he knew before.

He is alone. And things keep happening he can’t have predicted, worms tables and paranoia. He starts recording. Trying to follow in Jon’s footsteps and leave information behind, easier to access this time of course. In his flat, and he’ll have the key sent to the archives if something goes wrong. He’ll record until Jon trusts him enough to believe him, Maybe he’ll even stop him before it’s too late and he’ll never need to find out what happened at all. Maybe he can't get close as he was to everyone, but he can keep them safe.

He doesn’t get to finish his recordings, he wasn’t careful enough. Jonah catches wind and half the tapes are destroyed when he dies in a mysterious housefire. But what’s left does get delivered to the archives.

And the cycle continues.

#jonmartin #the magnus archives #tma #angst #writing #ghostly scribbles #Tma is a tragedy and so is this #not a proper fic more like a really weird outline

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blossom-hwa · 4 years ago

Text

college model!juyeon

SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.4k

genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au

triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)

fashion major!kevin

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices

and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF

so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you

you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)

so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too

and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week

it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO

kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash

(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)

then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress

and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off

AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens

at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are

and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean

juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.

which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself

(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)

(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)

anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine

juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece

you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)

juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there

you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you

juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3

and that’s how it goes.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)

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sayosdreams · 3 years ago

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POV: I was supposed to write a little one paragraph rant abt this idea I had but then it became longer.

I just had the BEST idea for some super adorable Teddy Lupin angst 🥺♥️ ahhh it would star Tonks as a icon who’ll teach Teddy abt gender identity and sexuality (cuz I mean I feel like gender identity is complicated enough as it is but when you’re a metamorphmagus, it’s like a million times more complicated) and then Remus and Sirius will start dating cuz Remus and Tonks are divorced. I haven’t decided yet if Remus is gay or not but if Remus is gay it’s gonna be SUPER angsty but in a background way cuz of the internalized homophobia that lead him to marry tonks and tonks feeling used but Teddy’s a kid and Tonks is an amazing parent so she won’t tell Teddy all of this stuff. Anyway Teddy is mad cuz Sirius is “taking” his dad and also Teddy is NOT a werewolf but I think he’ll have little symptoms like maybe he gets some muscle pain or smth around the full moon but his dad doesn’t know

I’m debating whether Teddy should be like 7, 8, 10, or a teenager. But if I do make him a teen, then I’ll have to include his shitty mental health (sorry I decided that’s a mandatory part of being a teenager in my fic) but I’ll get to explore his sexuality 🤔 anyway yeah I want Teddy to be kinda moody and just argue / ignore his dad more and more and then Remus doesn’t realize that its bc of Sirius cuz Remus has low self esteem and bc communication between dads and kids isn’t always the best

The endgame will be Teddy/Victoire but Teddy is def not gonna be straight (I think maybe he’ll be bi / pan and I haven’t decided if I want to make him be nb or not. Tonks will use she/they pronouns but only a bit after the divorce bc… it’s complicated.) anyway Teddy and Victoire are gonna be friends since they were kids but they’ll date other people first before they end up together.

Sirius is trying to get to know Teddy and Teddy is annoyed at his dad inviting Sirius over all the time so Teddy is like “ok imma go to Victoire’s house” and later Sirius sees a picture of Vic / it comes up in convo that Vic is part Veela and makes a comment like “atta boy” or “damn, she’s gonna be a heartbreaker huh” or smth else like that (Sirius is gay btw) and Teddy is gonna be SO PISSED like how fucking dare u objectify her, she’s a CHILD, and her heritage doesn’t mean she wants to be subjected to the fucking male gaze!!!! Anyway he won’t say everything but he’ll be mad and be like no. And Sirius will just laugh him off and in that moment Teddy will decide that he DESPISES Sirius 💕 he already didn’t like him for dating his dad, but now he hates him. Also Teddy is petty like me and is like fine imma go to my room 😤 when Remus and Sirius are being super annoying and before Remus used to go check on Teddy when Teddy went to his room annoyed (or Teddy would come down later and Remus would be waiting for him and they’d reconcile and have hot chocolate together) but now Remus is just talking to Sirius downstairs and Teddy’s like he doesn’t care abt me 😭😭😭 and cries into his pillow and then morphs the redness away and then he’s annoyed that his dad can’t tell that he was crying

Meanwhile remus is wondering why Teddy is acting the way he is but chalks it up to him getting older / starting to become a teen (again, idk how old he is. I feel like make 9 or 10? He could be a preteen cuz that might fit best with the storyline but also I don’t want him to be at Hogwarts all the time yk, that comes later) and Remus is sad that he doesn’t think Teddy talks to him as much anymore. He pretends it doesn’t hurt when one day Teddy says that he wants to go back to his mom’s place in the middle of a week he was supposed to spend with Remus

Teddy just feels like he’s losing his dad, and sometimes he wants to say smth but then he hears his dad downstairs, laughing with Sirius, and Remus just sounds so happy that Teddy feels shitty begrudging him that happiness. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel what he feels. So no, Teddy doesn’t want them to break up anymore but he can’t stand watching his dad slip away. Because he feels like his dad doesn’t love him anymore. Or maybe he does, but once upon a time, his priority was Teddy. Now, he loves Sirius more. And that’s okay, Teddy thinks, wiping his tears away. It’s okay because Sirius makes his dad so happy and his dad never used to smile so wide. Teddy can’t make his dad that happy. He feels his dad would choose Sirius over him, so he doesn’t want to make him chose.

But he can’t stop crying and he’s tired and being at his dad’s place isn’t fun anymore because there’s no more hot chocolate and reading together quietly and talking about everything as they cook together and eat together. No, now it’s just Teddy sitting quietly while his dad and Sirius talk about stupid grown up stuff that Teddy doesn’t care about. It’s not that Teddy doesn’t understand what they’re talking about, he does, it’s just boring, because who cares about Wizengamot or Dumbledore or whatever? He just wanted to tell his dad about the science project he did last week, about the bit of accidental magic he’d done when he was over at Grandma Andy’s house, about the way he’d learned to braid Niki’s hair. But no, Sirius and Remus were talking about some “Marlene McKinnon” or whatever her name was. Teddy honestly couldn’t care less.

He can’t keep asking to go to his friends’ house after school every time he’s at his dad’s, he knows it. He hates asking his dad to drive or fly him there because then Sirius wants to tag along, or even if Sirius isn’t there his dad will make comments like “oh that’s the bakery Sirius recommended” and it takes all of Teddy’s power to keep his mouth shut.

He asks to go back to his mom’s place, and Dad calls his mom and Teddy is hoping that his mom will say yes — and she does! Dad agrees to take him back. The drive over is silent until he asks Teddy if everything’s okay and for a second Teddy wants to burst into tears and tell him everything. But no, Teddy isn’t going to be that selfish and childish. He just nods, and the moment passes.

When Teddy gets to his mom’s house, she seems a little worried but she just smiles and hugs him. Later, Teddy’s in his room, crying — maybe he should have stayed at his dad’s place and tried to spend as much time as he could with his dad before his dad decided he didn’t want to see Teddy anymore. Tonks walks in on Teddy crying and is so concerned. Teddy tries to say he’s fine but it’s clearly not convincing his mom, not with the sobs and the big tears rolling down his face. He makes her swear not to tell his dad and then it spills out of him. Tonks hugs him and comforts him. Later, they tell him that he should try to talk to his dad, but Teddy just says no, and Tonks sighs, conflicted.

At another (maybe earlier??) point in the story tonks will come home / come pick up Teddy even tho she had smth to do (like maybe w a friend or at work) and even tho they don’t tell Teddy, Teddy overhears and when Teddy makes a comment like “sorry I make u skip ___” she’s like no don’t be silly, u always come first and Teddy is crying and he’s like okay at least my mom won’t leave me 😭♥️

Also tonks is demiromantic in this. She good friends with Charlie, who is ace, and if this takes place when Teddy is a little older (ie above the age of 10) then this fic will also include Teddy’s sexuality crisis 😝 I haven’t decided yet if tonks would have a love interest in this. If they do, it’ll be someone who they’ve been close friends with for a long time and that Teddy already knows rly well (not Charlie tho). And Tonks is super worried abt how Teddy will take it but Teddy is surprisingly okay with it?? It’ll also happen at least a year (or two) after Remus/Sirius start dating so Teddy will be a bit older, and also the dynamic will be different cuz Teddy already knows Tonks’ partner rly well. And that will also lowkey annoy Remus cuz Remus is like??? Why is Teddy so antagonistic towards my bf but not Tonks’

Also at some point Teddy will either be friends w someone or be dating a guy and will mention the person and Remus either won’t know who they are or won’t know they’re dating and then will find out and be like :((( i wish my son would tell me things

If Harry is Teddy’s godfather in this, then maybe Remus and Sirius start dating around the time James Sirius Potter is born so Teddy going through a lot of stuff which is partially why he reacts so badly?? Idk

Oh also Sirius and Tonks are NOT related in this lmao

Also Sirius makes a comment about Hogwarts houses and Teddy just gives him the death stare like “My grandma was a Slytherin” and Sirius quickly tries to backtrack like “oh umm Slytherin isn’t that bad!! They’re, uh, ambitious and stuff!! they’re better than Hufflepuff??” And then Teddy’s face looks thunderous and he’s just like “my mom is a hufflepuff” and turns and leaves the room and Sirius is just like fuck I keep messing up, this kids absolutely hates me huh

Also cue cringey attempts of Sirius thinking he’s relatable and a Cool Uncle when rly Teddy just wants Sirius to leave him alone and let him read

What house should Teddy be in??? Personally headcanons of him for me usually have him in either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff but I feel like purely out of spite he wouldn’t be in Gryffindor so maybe Ravenclaw?? Idk

Victoire is obv a Ravenclaw ✨

Anyway yeah obv at some point Teddy and Remus will reconcile and then later he’ll kinda bond with Sirius but !!! THE ANGST! THE DRAMA ✨♥️

Fuck now I rly wanna write this

#so yeah lmk if you'd be interested #will I ever actually write this???#no idea #I guess we'll just have to wait and see #u might be thinking 'u have so many ideas; just turn it into a fic'#no u don't understand I have like a super planned out outline for a fic #and coming from me that's so rare cuz most of my stuff is just on the spot writing #anyway I literally have like a 3 page single spaced outline for this James Sirius potter/lys scamander fic in which lys is a trans girl #but have I written it?? no #it just lives rent free in my mind #duh rent free cuz there aint no capitalism in my brain #jk they're all fighting for my tiny attention span #random fic ideas for later #sayosdreams #teddy lupin

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years ago

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hi I'm back again. Anyways; as always you don't have to answer if you don't wish! How do you think the residents would react to a young Pureblood MC? (I'm talking about young like a minor.) With that Gen Z in a nutshell personality. Obviously no romantic feelings, just in your opinion how do you think they'd react? all of my questions are just "coincidentally" oddly specific aren't they, totally

Oh shit whaddup I love the idea of Gen Z MC!!! Young pureblood it is, here we go! I’m going to be moving from the assumption that they’re like Comte/Leo; very sympathetic to humanity and sometimes have existential crises (trauma babeyyyyyyyyy). As such, I’ll also be assuming she’s not super close to her family given she rejects the larger vampiric hierarchy/superiority paradigm, memes and modernity, all that jazz

I hope this fits the bill! c:

Under a cut bc is a lonnnnnnng boi~ Click after Napo to see everyone else’s! No explicit triggers that I’m aware of, but if anybody sees anything I missed feel free to let me know

Comte’s reaction:

Absolute baby, he has decided this is his grandchild--no he will not change his mind or take constructive criticism. Get’s ESPECIALLY concerned when he starts to see signs of that “nothing in life matters 😎” nihilism, but doesn’t pester them about it or becomes naggy. Growing up he had similar issues with the prospect of eternal life surrounded by creatures with a mortal lifespan, so he doesn’t judge. He’s more like nah we all hit that vibe, let’s see if we can get their mind off it c: I feel like Gen Z really understand and appreciate the importance of culture and art, so I feel like they would bond a ton over trips to museums/plays/concerts! Invites them to tea time if he ever sees them particularly silent (ah yes, repression) or particularly tired, and does his best to ensure their safety without being intrusive (has briefed the men to escort/accompany her as needed, though Sebas usually does it).

If he sees fangs out around baby he will thrash the shit out of the perpetrator--unless it’s an accident. No excuses. That’s a child. Doesn’t give a FUCK if they’re another pureblood even with all the arranged marriage bullshit. He said what he said. (Remember that biting between vampires or vampire + human relations is considered something that’s only done between intimate partners, so he is having none of that for a minor)

Leonardo’s reaction:

Also certified granddad, but he’s the one that enables shenanigans and is just like “oh worm” when it comes to the existential dread (it’s a Tuesday). At first though Leo is basically that meme like: (Stupidman = Leo, Maddie = MC)

Not all purebloods are necessarily dangerous, but most are either incredibly indifferent to the plight of others (especially humans) or actively range from like playing social mind games to being sociopathic murderers/etc. the list goes on. As such, Leonardo is suspicious to no end until he sees that the kid really doesn’t have any ill will in her. She jokes with Sebas (they quote vines on the daily) and works with him normally; even when Leo asks Sebas he’s just “????? bro she’s just my kouhai, thanks for worrying tho”. One day he’s tasked with escorting her to grab groceries and assorted things for the mansion, and she freezes in place before bolting across the street. Turns out she saw a kid trip in the road and fall, and a carriage was moving fast from the other side--it likely wasn’t going to be able to stop. She scoops up the kid and holds them close, and when the parents try to thank her profusely she just seems more uncomfortable with the praise than triumphant. She didn’t want the kid to get hurt. If she could do something about it, it was as simple as that.

From that point on they’re hella chill and hang out together, usually just bonding in silence. If they’re an artist, he’ll offer them pointers and technique manuals--will help however he can. If not, they’ll just be reading together in the library now and again. If she falls asleep, he’ll tuck her in and watch over her (cue red eye meme when the door opens, but then it’s just Vincent so he c:). He’ll often pay close attention to her eating habits to make sure nothing’s amiss with her health since she’s still a growing pureblood. If she struggles with what she is a lot (given she’s sympathetic to human beings) he’ll synchronize his Rouge drinking with hers to make sure she doesn’t starve herself ;-;. Even if she’s just forgetful about drinking/eating, he’ll do what he can to make her life easier (that’s how he shows his affection uwu)

He will, of course, also tease her about being a baby until she kicks him in the shin while Comte sighs and tells him to knock it off with a smack upside the head

Napoleon’s reaction:

Not granddad energy, but you better believe he’s in a weird territory between sheer admiration and “I am your older brother now, eat your vegetables” “But I don’t even need vegetables” “Eat your vegetables and I’ll take you to a crepe shop” “............deal”

Basically it’s unlikely MC is super close to her siblings or even has any (pureblood children are a rare feat) so she’s like......wary, but then she just ???? this is.....kinda nice? Just having somebody that cares in a chill way, but still fully encourages her to throw men across the street if they’re hurting women/children (high fives her every time). He’ll often invite her to the swordplay lessons with the kids alongside Isaac’s teaching; she’s free to join in the learning, or honestly just hang out with people closer to her age (he’s v concerned about her having friends that she can relate to and talk to freely).

Protective in a subtle way, like Leonardo. Escorts her places and helps her carry groceries without fail when Sebas is running other errands. She becomes his crepe shop cover buddy whenever he has an intense hankering for sweets: “wanna go to that crepe shop around the corner” “you’re just too chicken to go alone, fool” “do you want crepes or not nunuche” “............BOKBOKBOK” “aight that’s it **gives her a noogie**” (they go anyway and have a marvelous time rating the crepes from best to worst, they got a whole list goin’)

Glares Arthur down if he so much as LOOKS in her direction

Mozart’s reaction:

Mozart is just the “what is with this sassy, lost child?” meme. Doesn’t dislike them, but they are just not remotely threatened by his haughty disdain by any extension. And he HATES IT. The MC is always just “Okay, boomer” and he just ?????? He doesn’t know what it means but it’s openly dismissive, so he mad.

Like idk if y’all know this meme, but it’s the same energy as:

It’s only when he notices she’s always punctual and careful with his requests that he starts to warm up. For example, she makes him a mocha by combining the way he likes his coffee and hot cocoa to perfection when he falls asleep at his piano. (She feels bad for him after Comte explains because--though he’s got a stick up his butt--he’s clearly distressed in his new surroundings ;-; Plus, the kind of perfectionism Mozart exudes is an extension of internalized shame, and when she begins to see that she really shifts her approach.) As such, he begins to soften to her presence. He begins to see that she isn’t indifferent to his existence, it’s more that she sees no need for intimidation and believes admiration is earned (basic respect isn’t a privilege, it’s a right). When he figures that out, he stops being so barbed and terse--starts to relax. Offers to let her stay and listen to his pieces if she wants, and she’s honestly touched given his clear struggle with vulnerability. Cuddles with Schelm at the window as he plays, and they become good friends.

As a result, Mozart becomes fiercely protective despite her sturdier nature as a pureblood and has hissed venom at Arthur about the fact that she is off fucking limits. Doesn’t leave her alone in the same room as the other men unless it’s with Jeanne or Comte; he don’t trust like that.

Arthur’s reaction:

Sweating a lot at the sudden collection of baleful eyes sticking to his back everywhere he goes, but figures he brought it on himself to an extent. That being said, he can’t really get a word in edgewise given she just walks away when he tries to engage in conversation or compliment her.

Tough nut to crack this one, but he doesn’t let it discourage him. The only way she’ll give him the time of day is to play chess--and she kicks his ass soundly every single time. He’s fascinated by her extensive analytic ability, but she keeps silent about her strategies and thinking. Dazai and Theo always love to watch him get his ass handed to him, but he considers it a really interesting experience; it gives him insight into her mind, no matter how much she tries to hide. Patient, efficient, brutal--this kid has seen some shit, probably.

It’s after that point he just concedes she probably won’t let him in, though it doesn’t diminish his curiosity about the future; and perhaps traces of dread. What does the future look like for both her and Sebastian to be that stoic and aloof? It worries him...

Vincent’s reaction:

Vincent is v v impressed by her sense of self, and honestly sees a lot of Theo in her. She’s a little more reticent than Theo, but she has this same commitment to protecting the vulnerable and penetrating through the lies/shitty convictions of others. She is not a person who bends easily, but even so there’s a quiet kind of gentleness to her: she always chats to him v calmly, asks if he needs anything and is doing okay, doesn’t get impatient when he drops things or forgets his apron for the laundry. I think he would respond very positively to her presence, even if it wasn’t intentional. He just brightens up like a little sun and asks her out to picnics for fun; he has no greater intention than enjoying her smile and silly antics (he doesn’t always understand the references, but the way she executes it with so much dry wit--like Theo--makes him laugh). He just feels the warmth of family/familiarity around her ;~;

Ironically, they’re both exceedingly concerned for the other because they’re too self-sacrificing jkashlgdks like this is 100% a case of “I can’t let a young lady risk getting hurt” “Vincent I’m literally indestructible please just let me do this” “But it still hurts” “But I don’t want you to scar--” (This conversation extends so long that the author felt it would be more beneficial to add an etc. here).

He admires her and trusts in her abilities more due to the nature of her maturity, treats her like a cherished friend and sometimes younger sibling (not condescending but very indulgent; gives her the last of his sweets for example, or pats her on the head when she’s feeling gloomy--more of a wholesome puts her first). But make no mistake, he will throw hands in milliseconds if she gets ganged up on or can’t handle a threat--he just lets her handle most things bc she’s capable~

Isaac’s reaction:

Torn. Because on the one hand, she’s very serious and conscientious about her work--doesn’t want to inconvenience or trouble anyone--and he relates to that heavy.

HOWEVER.

She’s also got insanely chaotic energy when the mood strikes, so when Dazai starts doing his random shitfuckery you better believe MC is upping the ante. (I’m talking AH. ENSLAVED MOISTURE. levels). So Isaac essentially oscillates between thankful for her fortitude to bashing his head against a table for every second he knows her.

In all seriousness though, I would see Isaac as being pretty concerned. Like Vincent, they’re both self-sacrificing to a fault--and he doesn’t want that for her, especially given how young she is. Often tells her not to overdo it or to ask for help if she looks overwhelmed, though it’s not condemning; he says it softly with a neutral look on his face. (He considers it a Certified Mood^TM). He just wants to give back all the care she puts into helping around the house. He doesn’t feel right watching a kid work so hard without reminding her that she should find time to have fun and live for herself too. There will be plenty of time when she’s older to get serious.

He has a fairly easy time interacting with her because of his experience with kids; he takes her seriously (when she’s not clowning) and treats her autonomy with respect. If anything, she’s probably the protective one. She knows he’s an aberrant so she pays laser attention to when he’s suffering and brings him Rouge (not scared because she’s stronger than him and not human lmao, and she sees no need to put Sebastian at risk). When that uni pres pesters him, she goes cold and angry and asks the man to step off when she sees him start to downspiral. They’re essentially on equal footing (he has more life experience, she has more bodily strength/confidence). They're just chill and kind with each other (babies of the mansion, beloved by all).

Theodorus' reaction:

Because he is a manchild, he will be chill/generally indifferent until Vincent starts being indulgent with her (bro-con). He won't be violent or anything like that, but he will pout a storm and try to verbally shoo her away. Because she's a woman, intelligent, and likely a feminist--this will become hilarious because she will not remotely take him seriously. She will just ignore him or roast him in seconds before moving on with her day. Otherwise he doesn't care much because he doesn't have time to play babysitter (unless there's no one else to help).

At the most, he'll make sure she's safe and use the excuse that Vincent would be upset if he did anything less. If she likes/loves dogs and plays with King while she's there, he'll soften up and thank her for taking care of him. If she makes hella pancakes, he'll be the proudest about it--ruffling her hair. If she protects Vincent in any capacity, he'll be torn between jealous, grateful and impressed; he likes a kid that can hold their own and take responsibility within their abilities.

So their relationship is v much like a chill uncle with their niece; fond, but not necessarily super close or spend a ton of time together. He has his priorities, but he won't be an asshat (mostly).

Jeanne's reaction:

Jeanne is confused on so many levels. He doesn't dislike her spunk he's just staggered by her level of sheer reckless, righteous rage. (And he's a bit wary in the face of another pureblood as a potential enemy) but after a bit more time around her he relaxes. She's fairly simple to understand when you get to know her; cares about others to a fault, existential dread, overworks herself. Stays watchful, but he just treats her like the younger kids that Napoleon brings by the weapons shop when they need armor for practice. It can get a little funny because he’ll just be like “uhhhh uh kids like sweet stuff right? Here have some of the macaroons somebody brought by earlier, I don’t like ‘em that much anyway.” And she just “??? Thanks???” He doesn’t mind being around her, just doesn’t really know what to say so they often fall into comfortable silence after exchanging small talk. She likes that he isn’t complicated; what you see is what you get with Jeanne. It’s nice not to have to keep her guard up every second of the day,

When he sees her feeling particularly down, he’ll take her to that little field of white lilies behind the mansion during a full moon night. The silver light seems to make the petals emit an ethereal glow, and she makes him a flower crown in thanks. He listens kindly if she wants to talk, and if she doesn’t--that’s okay too; he’ll just give her a head pat.

Honestly he finds a lot of relief in the fact that she's a pureblood, because he feels less nervous about her being fragile or her getting fatally hurt when he’s not around. Will still be very gentle with her and protect her when she’s in proximity

Mission Status: Fucking Wholesome

Dazai’s reaction:

Big brother time? It’s big brother time!!!! He instantly makes it his subtle mission to look after her, though he’s v lowkey abt it. She takes one look at this depressed mofo climbing in through the window and just goes “aw yeah, this guy FUCKS” and they become besties at a glance. They basically make a game out of who can be the most absurd whenever they’re in the same room. Comte and Leo find it utterly hilarious, Napoleon is digging a grave for Isaac in the backyard (we all know his heart won’t be able to take it. Mozart is probably next. A moment of silence for our fallen.)

I just imagine them like that one post (@/acoolguy):

Dazai: You ever have to shake your leg because there’s a rock in it? MC: That’s your bones Dazai: Every day I learn some more

He’ll always share treats with her and brings her along for walks if she’s feeling wanderlust; he knows how hard it can be, how restless the heart becomes so far from home. He does his best to distract her with their ongoing jokes, but one day it starts raining very suddenly while they’re out. He rushes her under the nearest tree with broad, broad leaves and settles his haori/overcoat over her head. He looks incredibly serious as he looks to the sky--almost glowering at the dark clouds gathering, He doesn’t look at all like his usual fun-loving self in that split second, even though he’s back to his good-natured chirping “Guess we’ll just have to wait out the downpour. MC, are you cold? I should have been more careful.” She shakes her head and shares the coat with him, holding it out insistently until he relents. Their hands brush and she notices they’re freezing, but she doesn’t say anything. She seems to sense he has a lot on his mind, and leans her shoulder against his. The silence feels fragile; she doesn’t want to risk shattering it--shattering him. It is often said that it is an act of great courage to wipe away someone’s tears. But it can also be an act of great gentleness to turn away, to pretend one cannot see them fall (whether visible or not).

One day, after MC returns to her own time, Dazai returns to his room to find two shadows hanging from his window. Though a little crude--they’ve obviously been made by a beginner--it’s clear what they are. Rain ghosts. (Sebastian later explains it was MC’s wish that he have them, and Dazai only smiles very, very gently in response.)

Shakespeare’s reaction:

MC gets one look at him and knows something’s off. She can’t quite tell what it is, but he doesn’t feel like the rest of the family. She can sense something behind him, something lurking; but she can’t quite place it. (Comte has mentioned before that purebloods can sense each other, so I imagine MC knows right off the bat he isn’t a normal sired vampire--she just doesn’t know enough to identify exactly what it is.)

That being said, she is sus. He keeps talking like some kind of weird ass court jester/fae, and she hated his work when she had to do it for school (only enjoyed the Hamlet memes because, let’s be real, that shit is uproarious). When he tries to coax her to see Vlad with him, she says “'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.” And he just freezes in place before he starts laughing. Considers their battle of wills well-played, and warns her not to go out alone--doesn’t bother her again. Though sometimes enjoys listening to her conversations with others for good roast material. (No he is not taking notes, no this new chara is just fire and feral for no good reason--nothing to do with MC)

Sebastian’s reaction:

The l o r e, MC. Give him the forbidden pureblood lore. Will be incredibly curious and ask about what vampires are like outside of the mansion, for science of course. If he senses discomfort though his questions will die down completely--it’s not his intention to make her uncomfortable. He’s just curious!

Despite his stoicism he’s actually a very, very understanding and warm person. Will listen to any teenage jadedness or hopelessness with fond patience, recalling the days he was similar. He’ll offer what advice he can. He’s not one to be preachy, but if he sees someone at a loss, he’ll offer what he thinks might be a productive direction for them. Given her removal from her home and parents--even though she’s already well into high school--he’ll sympathize deeply with her position. Will be a firm but gentle guardian (hello Mansion Mom #2), offers her candy every time she does a chore exceptionally well or offers assistance without prompting. She’s sus and takes it reluctantly at first, but after she tries one in private secretly loves them. Sebas is just silently “you like krabby patties don’t you, squidward”. If she’s honest, she’s comforted by the sense of normalcy and care he gives, the harmless joking and easy respect for others (unless otherwise provoked).

When she finds out about his hobby considers him to be a Fucking Nerd^TM and wants to shove him into a locker, but in reality is endeared by how much he genuinely cares about the men. She thinks it’s a harmless fascination, and she senses the oddest...ephemerality about him. Because of this, she becomes pretty protective; he’s a human and he’s too nice for his own good. While she identifies in one sense, she worries in another. Pureblood are sturdy, but humans can’t necessarily sustain that kind of constant self-giving for long...

Also bc my tag game too strong adding it here: #i love the prospect of pureblood MC trying to bring Sebas and Napo together #MC: bruh i got this #Sebas, full of gay panic: wait, MC nO--

Meme tl;dr in the tags also for your enjoyment! I’m sorry this one took a little longer than most to finish!

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp headcanons #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jeanne #ikevamp jean #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp sebastian #gen z pureblood mc #i had a lot of fun writing this! I hope this met your expectations friend! c:#comte and leo: uwu grandparents #mozart: okay BOOMER #napo: HAHAHA shithead siblings i love it #arthur and shakes: wouldn't you like to know weather boy. 'where are your parents??' (parts one and two)#vincent and isaac: BRUH S A M E S I E S #theo: **meme voice** 'is there anything worse than a rapist?' BOOM 'a child.' 'N O!'#jeanne: endearing but out of touch uncle while dazai is WOOOOO LET'S DRINK BLEACH uncle #sebastian: ah yes ty for the modicum of brain cells and competence that also shatters gender norms my good bi bitch #**Gilligan's cut to MC and Dazai wearing sunglasses and matching hats that read 'i put the (me) in disappointment'**

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