#and it just hits harder now
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So I’m 3 hours into episode 17 of campaign 3 and, yall, what the ACTUAL FUCK (spoilers below for C1, Vox Machina cartoon and C3)
For the record, when I went into C3 and saw that Laudna would’ve been in her 50s/60s if she was still alive, my immediate thought was “huh, so she probably died right around the time the De Rolo’s were killed”. Especially since I knew that C3 Percy was in his 60s, and his family was killed when he was about 17/18, so the timeline lined up. Of course, that was me lowballing it, but that was the general timeframe I had in my head.
And then she mentioned specifically that Delilah killed her, and that she was some random farm girl, so nowhere NEAR the castle when the Briarwoods took over. I had my suspicions that, okay, MAYBE Laudna died closer to the Briarwoods Arc in C1, but I wasn’t sure
And then Laudna was telling Orym HOW she died and when. The MOMENT she said that the Briarwoods invited her for dinner and gave her a change of clothes, it clicked. Because that’s how it was in the fucking cartoon. And obviously, S1 of the cartoon came out while C2 was still going strong, so obviously Laudna isn’t technically in the cartoon, but STILL. Just KNOWING that she was one of the victims—most likely the one that represented Vex bc of the dark hair…I can never look at that scene the same way again. It was already dark beforehand, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a much darker air to it KNOWING who one of those victims were.
And it makes so much more sense why she didn’t know that there were still living members of the De Rolo family, or that Whitestone was doing better after the Briarwoods were killed. She died, what, a few days before the city knew that Percy and Cassandra still lived.
Like, I knew that C1 and C3 were HEAVILY intertwined, but fuck. I knew that C3 was dark, but holy fuck. We’re not even at episode 20 yet, yall, what the FUCK.
#critical role#bells hells#heart to heartmoor#y’all what the fuck#keep in mind that I haven’t watched the cartoon in well over a year#and that one scene with the briarwoods talking to the victims before cutting to the suntree#that’s one of the few scenes that stuck out the most throughout that entire arc#and it just hits harder now#fuck#like just earlier that same episode we had Laudna and Fearne acting like children and Orym chasing rabbits#is the C3 just going to get worse?#is it going to get darker?#bc I know that characters are going to die later on and the plot gets…weird#but how much worse is it going to get?#if we’re already at this level before episode fucking 20?#also Delilah fucking briarwood#istg that bitch is the William Afton of Critical Role#she always comes back#that bitch just won’t stay fucking dead
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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we'll do fine.
#fionna and cake spoilers#what hits me a little is how similar fionna and simon's stories are in the case of finding nuance in their lives#when both have gone through their separate but still valid pain no matter the extent it had been#and its that they met each other they get to see how it compares and they're no less worth of the peace and fun they dreamed of#even in the form of simplicity and just being normal#“i wouldn't have met THE fionna and cake” “we wouldn't have met THE simon petrikov”#it hits me harder that after the dandelion scene would've been their last time seeing each other physically#and how assuring simon sounded when fionna didn't know what to do with the literal world in her hands#tho im sure prismo isnt that much of a rule jerk lol i still drew out the revelation anyway with this tiniest addition#also the fact fionna's world is influenced by simon's thought processes and conditions so now things are a little better for both of them#fionna the human#fionna campbell#simon petrikov#qiiarts#the lil flashback of#betty grof#fionna and cake#adventure time
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Lifetime Stew is so much darker in hindsight.
Sinclair and Don Quixote both get it, and it’s specifically *Lust*, not *Gluttony*, despite being food-themed. (Although Gluttony in Limbus terms is basically Greed, and Lust very broadly refers to “desire” for things that aren’t material).
So, Lifetime Stew is based on the fable of Stone Soup, wherein a man managed to feed his whole village by bringing each together with a different ingredient, to make a soup that would last forever. He just kept telling each person in the town square, “All it needs is one more ingredient,” and everyone just kept adding to it. Is the gist of it.
Sinclair and Don have voice lines that more or less imply the same thing - the Abnormality (Basilisoup) just wants everyone to try its delicious soup! Cute, silly concept, right?
So what do Sinclair and Don Quixote have in common?
(SPOILERS beyond this point! You’ve been warned)
In Canto 3, Sinclair recalls that once his mother, father, and sister all received full-body prosthetics, they no longer had a need to eat. The table was set and food was placed only for him. It’s one of the things he found so especially heartbreaking, that he was the only one left in his family who could still eat food. It’s such a core memory that it’s plastered on the window-wall of his cell for his base E.G.O., four roboticized humans sitting at the table, with no food present.
He desperately misses getting to share meals with his family.
And in La ManchaLand, the Bloodfiends have been starved of blood for the past 200 years, barely sustaining themselves on hemobars that don’t satisfy them. They can *live* without subsisting on human blood, but they’re utterly miserable doing so. The only one of the First Kindred’s clan who escaped such a fate was of course, Sancho, though she’d long forgotten she is a Bloodfiend, Faust says she still craves blood. She’d been in effect, the only Bloodfiend allowed to sate her cravings, while the rest of her kin starved. Being the only Bloodfiend able to escape their fate was so traumatic for Sancho that she wanted to forget everything about herself.
In other words, Basilisoup/Lifetime Stew is about “the joy of sharing a meal with family,” something both Sinclair and Don Quixote desperately wish for.
KIM JIHOON WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU
#limbus company#canto 7 spoilers#Don Quixote lcb#Sinclair lcb#Kim Jihoon was EVIL for doing this okay?#and doing it so early in the game#it doesn’t hit just after canto 3 though cause it’s harder to see the common thread between him and don#and how both tie into a soup-themed abnormality#but now? now i see it and i want to die#by the way i don’t know if i can make the read more work on mobile#so for now just heed the spoiler tags
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#reading back through this one just because and#now that I’ve been converted to an actual Wolverine fan this hit so much harder 🥺#I didn’t notice the little tear the first time 🥺#love them#x-men#wolverine#nightcrawler#kurt wagner#logan howlett
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Dick from a guy that thinks you’re too good for him.
#I’m once again thinking of Bakugou#just imagine him trying that much harder because he proper fancies you#and wants you to fancy him too?🥺#and he’s thanking whatever god is watching over him right now for you letting him hit that#and he wants to make it worth your time#and maybe he’s been chasing you for a while?#or just pining after you for a while#so when you finally come together he can’t believe his luck
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Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rise donnie#rise leo#rise mikey#rise raph#donnie and leo’s sexualities being practically swapped was unintentional but it works way too well#same with mikey and raph tbh it was a happy accident#anyway I kinda hc raph as the type who doesn’t care about physical appearance just if you fight lol#Mikey’s more than happy with friends and family#Donnie is a BIG romantic but he needs time to sus a person out fully before he gets the hots for them#leo meanwhile isn’t keen on romance unless it’s with someone he grows to really really REALLY trust#I could go on and probably will later (knowing me) but it is late and I am tired haha#turtle art tag#curious as to what everyone else headcanons#the only one of these I’ll defend forever is Bi (female-leaning) donnie and trans leo#all the others can change over time but I really like where they’re sitting right now#I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them#went looking for transmasc flag in particular but I couldn’t find a solid agreed upon version 😭#ngl a big part of why I hc mikey as aro is because of a pun#my phone often misspells aromantic as aromatic and- and you get it- because aromatic herbs and- and Mikey is a chef do YOU GET IT#note that while I hc leo as bisexual (male-leaning) I still think he’s prob closer to demi in that as well just not as far into the spectrum#if that makes sense#headcanons are fun and hard to narrow down at the same time alas#I made this in like an hour can you tell djjdjd#I drew them all from memory so if there’s anything wrong…shhh#and if you’re wondering for April and Splinter#Both are Bisexual (female-leaning) but April is also Panromantic#I almost wanna make Splinter demiromantic too so Big Mama’s betrayal hits just a bit harder
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I think getting railed by Mac would give Dennis a new perspective that doesn’t change who he is and is consistent with his characterisation... Just a thought tho.
#2 hour long podcast drops in the evening#and now i am not sleeping apparently#i’ve been ruminating on this one#and i think it’s just the same stuff they always say between seasons really#it’s interesting Rob talked about bringing in writers for new perspectives on fresh air#more specially meg lol#but in general that it’s necessary they have the team for those perspectives#cos it’s harder for them now as they’re older and richer#glenn has the same sentiment clearly#but god dude there’s still soooo many angles to hit#plots okay you got those? but need a new character angle?#mac and dennis are fully fucking this season#it’s the s5 dynamic but with actual gay sex this time#boom insane character angle there#it’s 5am ignore me
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I beat Veilguard.
It's 4am. I'm a mess. I'm in tears.
#datv spoilers#the moment that completely broke me#''Ich entlasse Euch aus meinen Diensten''#Ar lasa mala revas#you are free#and so am I.. I feel like I've ascended from Solavellan Hell to Solavellan Heaven after ten flippin years#I think an embrace would have hit me even harder than a kiss at the end.. but it was just done so beautifully#I've always had one wish for Solas' story regardless of all the speculation and theories made over the years#and that was for him to find peace#so these are mostly tears of joy#I'm too overwhelmed to find the right words now#this game had many glaring problems to me but I still had a great time and there are many things to love#and maybe I mourn the potential of what could have been#the Veil still being up is.... very unexpected to say the least?#but Act 3 was incredible and god did that ending hit all the right spots for me#it's so strange to say ''goodbye'' to a character that you've been thinking about for so long#but I'm so thankful to have closure now#my heart is full#you know what's crazy?#right after that final cutscene ended I saw that it had actually started to snow outside for the first time this season#snow symbolizes purity or something right?#and that just made me think of how Solas used to envy Sera for her purity of purpose that he lacked#I like to think he regained it now#thinking about a little Wisdom spirit#hmm#I don't think I can sleep now#I think I'll just watch the snow a little more
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the closer we get to arcanes finale the more worried i am bc so often .. if not always .. things i like end in a way that i dislike so much it ruins everything else for me
and im so worried they pull a 'this is a multiverse' thing bc then they can say every skin is somehow canon bc its all different universes you seeeeee and jayce went mad bc he lived through all of them or something, or force it to end in a way that makes the champions end up like they are in game- Vi is a shitty cop, Jinx is just heehoo craycray bc xyz etc
#ganondoodles talks#personal#arcane#sorry i cant help but be rather pessimistic#and i know with the skin universes its kinda a multiverse already but like#a multiverse and different AUs are a different thing for me#i cant imagine how they can make this all end in a satifying way with just three more episodes with so many questions still#like the thing with isha and vander only happens so jinx loses every bit of sanity she had left and Vi goes welp#time to be a shitty enforcer#and then singed takes warwick again and makes him full wolf like in game and theres no connection left anymore bc his memory is fully cooke#or some shit#i REALLY dont want to be pessimistic but uh .... it usually happens with whatever i like and it has scarred me a little#i dont even know whats up with mel either??? they did the whole black rose stuff but#thats pulling in so much lore from noxus ... HOW can they make sense of it in 3 episodes?????#unless they make it a shitty teaser for more to come or soemthing i guess??#.. in any case- whenever i tried to be optimistic and then got disappointed anyway it hit me way harder#so im just gonna go with expecting the worst i can imagine so theres hope left to be surprised in a good way#after all they did go with warwick in a way i really liked for act 2 that is ... though the end im meh about#not a fan of the weird hexcore bullcrap in general tbh#though i like victor ... he was so nice to warwick .. even though i wish he wasnt a cult leader now lmao
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Jackie died. Jackie died and I'm devastated. I will never be the same person again
#I had to pause the game to bawl my eyes out#I WAS SO INVESTED IN HIM ARE YOU KIDDING ME#I think I get what you're trying to say to me game. is it worth it to put yourself in danger#and destroy yourself for a chance at a fame that you probably won't even get to enjoy#because you won't be there to see it?#is it worth it to break the hearts of the people you love in this pursuit? the people who'll grieve you?#I mean it's part of the first question that dex asks you when this whole thing starts and the last thing he says to you is also about that#about whether you wanna live a peaceful life or. go out like this#I get that. if that's what it's going for I get that. it gets the point across I'm not angry. but also#THAT WAS MY FRIEND#JACKIE MY FRIEND JACKIE 😭#WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DIED OF BLOOD LOSS THIS IS BULLSHIT#I'm never getting over this#sleep.txt#cp2077#jackie welles#OK OK HOLD ON I have more to say. I wanna expand on that jdjfkdkf bc I have Thoughts. especially playing corpo v like#I think the whole thing hit me even harder as corpo bc you get to see a sort of parallel situation with your v#where you had all this renown and respect but it came at a great cost. so great it nearly killed you#and then you go through that again and now you're dying and your friend is dead#and it's all in the pursuit of fame and money#that scene in the car when they're heading for the hotel reminded me so much of that initial scene with v#when you get in your fancy car and sip your fancy champagne#and like 10 minutes later nearly get killed by people from arasaka#I think there might be a point to be made there. about jackie heading towards the same kind of life just with a different coat of paint#being seduced by the same things we were seduced by while accepting the cost without fully understanding it#and then when you're faced with it it's. well it's heartbreaking and life ending#self destruction in the pursuit of something that makes you wonder if it was even all that worth it to begin with#viktor vektor is probably the happiest person I've met so far and that's saying something#anyway rant over. ty for your time I'm gonna go cry over jackie in the corner excuse me
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First self portrait since I got the big chop
#self portrait#illustration#digital illustration#trans art#trans artist#art#procreate#trans man#trans masc#top surgery#ftm#tfb#the front bottoms#I’m just so happy man it’s unreal#the text is lyrics from tfb song ‘ginger’#honestly one of my favourite songs of all time#been listening to it so much over the years buts it’s been hitting harder now
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Can we talk about how Jonathan might've been able to clock Mike simply because of what happened with him and Nancy in season two?
This will be a long post, so you might want to strap in or save it for later.
In Will and Mike's case, it would obviously be much different from Jonathan and Nancy's situation, given that you know, they're gay. But we still have Jonathan arguably going through a similar experience as Will, while Mike is going through a similar experience as Nancy.
In s2, we see Nancy confront Jonathan about how she waited for him before getting back with Steve, which is a revelation to him. Then they're at Murray's and she's struggling to say she loves Steve, after a handful of moments between them that felt like she might return Jonathan’s feelings. And you can clearly see it in his eyes, listening to Murray imply that they have feelings for each other, with him looking back and forth sort of in awe of what's happening, like he's starting to question if she might actually like him back.
Will doesn't have that same affordance as Jonathan to really hope, at least not anymore. Which is why these relationships in s2 and s4 end differently for these two brothers.
Based on all the signs he was seeing that Nancy felt the same, Jonathan decided to take the plunge to admit to Nancy how he felt, and at that same moment Nancy had the courage to show how she felt. In Will and Mike's case, Will wasn't ready to take the plunge to admit to Mike how he felt, at the same moment Mike didn't have the courage to show how he felt.
What's so painfully hilarious to me about all of this though, is that Jonathan arguably starts the season in the same shoes as most of the audience, where from his perspective, it's becoming obvious to him now that Will like's Mike, but that Mike does not feel the same way.
First at Rink-O-Mania, Mike appears a little uncomfortable upon hugging Will. Then as the happy couple continues on their adventure into Rink-O-Mania, he watches Will lagging behind moping. And then unfortunately he's out of commission for the rest of the evening...
But once he's sober and back to being an attentive brother the following morning, we see him watching them at breakfast, with Mike barely sparing Will a glance, all while Will is blatantly staring, almost like he's waiting for Mike to look back, only for Mike to get up and walk away.
All of these instances gotta be SCREAMING unrequited gay love to Jonathan. He's already gotten signs for years that Will is gay, these are now just the signs that are instilling his suspicions that Will has feelings for Mike. He could have easily interpreted their relationship in the early seasons as young best friends, with Will seeming to have a crush on Mike, and with them growing up and that potentially including Will's straight friend distancing himself from him because he doesn't feel the same. It's not the most unexpected thing in the world considering.
But then there's a shift.
Suddenly he's creeping up on them talking in his room. And we know he was listening in on the conversation because he brings up Owens when he sits down. As he's eavesdropping, he's probably thinking something innocent like Aww they're making up! And like, hey! Even if Mike doesn't feel the same, which is okay and entirely expected honestly, at least he still cares about Will enough to make things right after acting so out of character. Still, I'm not gonna lie, that sounded a lot like flirting to me--
Then he's knocking on Will's door like 30 minutes or less later only to find Mike and Will back on their bullshit. Mike suddenly isn't going out of his way to ignore or put Will on the back burner. In fact, he's on his bed and they're talking, again! The door is even closed this time, which is interesting. This has gotta be a good sign in Jon's eyes. Nothing to worry about! Right? Right...?
But then suddenly this shift continues, going in a direction he probably didn't expect.
I mean, this is literally an identical jancy parallel we have here with byler on the hood of the car, with Jonathan right there to witness it. Despite him maybe only now subconsciously picking up on the similarities between Will and Mike to him and Nancy here, he's at least taking note (I mean he's even got his gay map out and everything).
It isn't until the van scene happens, that I think Jonathan starts to genuinely consider his suspicions, which is that Mike might actually like Will back.
EVERY time we get a shot of Jonathan looking back at Will and Mike in the van, followed by a shot of his POV from the rearview mirror, we're faced with Mike looking at Will while Will is looking away.
As Jonathan is hearing Will confirm his suspicions about his feelings for Mike, he's simultaneously witnessing Mike not looking at Will with disgust, but something more akin to reverence. All of those moments in the van that we witnessed, including all the ways Mike looked at Will and everything that was said, Jonathan was right there.
And what's even more insane about this scene, is that it circles back to Jonathan as a character himself.
I remember when people were talking about how odd it was that we never saw Jonathan with a camera in s4. After 3 seasons in a row of making his passion for photography a big part of his identity, that part of him was apparently absent entirely this time around... But was it really?
This is the same guy that said, "Sometimes, people don't really say what they're really thinking. But you capture the right moment, it says more."
Jonathan might not have had his camera in s4, but this was without a doubt one of those moments where he captured something more.
Something that I also think get's highly overlooked about this scene, especially when it comes to Jonathan looking back at them, being followed by a shot of Mike staring at Will, is that he could see both of their reactions the whole time, from beginning to end. Will nor the audience had the affordance of knowing because Will was facing the other way at the end, while we on the other-hand were blurred from even having the chance, despite Mike literally being in the frame. But not Jonathan. He even lets us see what he sees, a few times, but not at the very end, which would have been nice after they didn't let us see Mike's reaction seconds before this.
Let's just stop right there for a second though and circle back to what I consider to be the first time Jonathan really picked up on Will's feelings for Mike, which was at the end of s3, in a sequence that is a little too relevant to the van scene if you ask me, given that they are almost direct parallels.
While these parallels are pretty spot on visually, they are also near spot on narratively when it comes to the evolution each of these characters are experiencing.
For Will in the first scene, it's sadness that he's moving away from his friends in Hawkins and also feeling like he's losing Mike, after what looks like him and El making up, which makes him scared he'll distance himself again. For Jonathan, it's sympathy for his brother who appears to have some very deep feelings for his friend, feelings he can't quite grasp yet but soon enough will.
For Will in the second scene, it's heartbreak that he has to accept that Mike will never feel the same, knowing that supporting his relationship with El (encouraging it honestly) will likely turn out just as it did last time, with him losing Mike all over again, for the last time. For Jonathan it's sympathy for his brother who has now confirmed his suspicions that the feelings he has for Mike are more than just that of a friend.
Given that this parallel reinforces the same feelings Will and Jonathan had in s3 to now, why would this not also reinforce those same feelings that Mike had in s3 to now?
In the first scene, Mike was visibly distraught, with dialogue from Hopper in the background applying a little too perfectly with what he was feeling in that moment, which was scared. He’s apparently back together with El now, despite them doing just fine as friends for the last 3 months, as well as him and Will just having finally gone back to them being on good terms again. But now, it’s like he’s right back where he started at the beginning of s3, feeling obligated to be the perfect boyfriend to El, and as a result, having no choice in his eyes but to distance himself from Will. Mike then walks into his house looking like a zombie, almost emotionless stepping into his mother's embrace.
Now, I say almost emotionless because it looks like Mike was trying to hold back showing how he truly felt in this moment. He's not crying like he did in s1 when he lost Will that first time. Time has passed and things have changed (he doesn't want things to change). And he's trying his best to keep it together. But the in-focus close-ups make it clear that he is definitely not okay.
What's so impactful about these parallels is that it presents the inner struggle both of these characters are having, both queer and experiencing doubts, but in different ways and for different reasons.
Will is the one who covers it all up with lies, hiding the tears in his eyes, because boys don't cry.
Mike is the one who has never cried to them, just to his soul (RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!).
If you actually try to get a gage on Mike's in-focus emotions in that first scene vs. his out-of-focus emotions in that second scene, well they're not that far off from each other.
We go from Mike smiling vibrantly at Will, to him now slowly turning away to look back down at the painting, with whatever the hell emotion this is...
It's near impossible to catch because of how out-of-focus it is, but looking a lot closer, it honestly appears like Mike is feeling something akin to sadness that he's trying to mask. For a moment it even looks like he turns his head to wince emotionally, only to correct himself.
And call me crazy, but these shots also low-key parallel each other. Mike looking down trying to keep his emotions in check and failing miserably, only to look up and meet eyes with someone whose witnessing it.
With each shot before this of Jonathan observing Mike looking at Will, with him showing all the emotions Will never got to see and everything else in between, I wonder what Jon saw this time? Probably another thing he didn't expect.
Can you just try to imagine the silence in this van, accompanied by Will's muffled sobs, and then try to imagine Mike turning to look down at the painting, only to sneak a glance, and then go right back to looking at the painting, IN SILENCE, and then try to tell me how the assumption that Mike didn’t notice Will crying makes any sense, like realistically?
Yeah me and Jonathan are confused too.
Right now, Jonathan's probably wondering why Mike was acting a little fruity and repressed during the painting reveal. And that although he may have a penchant for being able to 'capture the right moment', Mike is sticking with his story (despite all the stalling and doubt). He is 100% straight!
And so maybe this is where Jonathan tries to accept what is being presented to him as the truth, despite the contradictions in front of him. It's likely that despite the way Mike looks at Will and acts around him, in ways he would have assumed coming from Nancy in s2 would've been evidence that she felt the same, it probably doesn't apply to Mike.
Maybe Jonathan's ready to accept that it's a lot more likely Will is experiencing unrequited love as a gay kid growing up in a small town, the most predictable experience a gay kid could go through, and in contrast Mike just feels too bad to let Will down easy.
Or who knows, maybe Mike could still be a little bit gay too...
But it doesn't matter anyways. Mike seems to be adamant about this and so there's really nothing else Jonathan can he do besides tell his brother he'll be there for him no matter what. And so he does just that.
But then Mike just has to surprise him one last time.
For those that don't know, the line Mike gives here in his monologue was in part pulled from Will's monologue in the van. Most don't know this because this line didn't make the final cut for the van scene, but in the official script the writers posted, what we find is an almost a direct parallel.
Which makes the reaction shots of Will and Jonathan directly after Mike says this all the more epic.
From Will's end he was probably hearing Mike say this and just thinking 'Damn. Well, that's what you get for using your feelings to inspire Mike to profess his love to El.'
But from Jonathan's end, I don't think his outside POV of these events overlapping was nearly as naive as his brothers understanding of the events. Because why the fuck would Mike need to use Will's feelings to inspire him to profess his love to El in the first place? Is this what Mike has been struggling with? Really? Why before every moment Mike takes action in this scene, is Will's hand literally pushing him into it? Why is Mike being so dramatic about saying I love you, stuttering and rambling about her being a superhero, not saying nearly as meaningful of things as what Will said in the van?
And then it hits him.
Mike is reminding him a little too much of another Wheeler right now...
Nancy Wheeler, who was afraid of what would happen if she accepted herself for who she really was, leading her to retreat back to the safety of Steve. Because Nancy liked Steve, but she didn't love Steve.
And now here is Mike Wheeler, who has went from being incredibly distant with Will after reuniting with El, something that is very unlike the Mike he knew in previous seasons, to something more himself again after they make up, with him looking at Will with adoration after hearing his words in the van, only to turn away and look heartbroken. Mike who is now struggling to simply tell El he loves her with Will right behind him literally yelling at him to do it.
And now it's like all those little moments are starting to add up to Jonathan.
Suddenly all those signs he picked up on from Will when he was younger are now blending in with moments Will shared with Mike. It was Mike who jumped in after him and his mom's speech to Will in the shed in s2, with tears in his eyes recalling the day that they met (without being asked, let alone pushed to). And it's Mike who is now looking like he's at war with himself as he attempts to give encouragement to El, just like he did with Will in s2, but this time he needs someone to push him to do it, and that person just so happens to be Will. After just finding out about Will's feelings and also while assuming El wants him to love her that way still, Mike is stuck.
I don't think it's takes a genius to consider Jonathan is capable of realizing how fucked they all are in this situation.
As much as Mike isn't ready for a sleuth of reasons, Will isn't ready either.
This provides a huge contrast between the bylers ², because while Jonathan and Nancy went through a similar experience to Will and Mike, them being ready to accept it and act on it didn't involve nearly as many factors and risks. Will and Mike also have the added barrier that is homophobia.
Will's internalized homophobia lies in part with assuming Mike could never feel the same based on some of the words he said in their last two fights, with parts being painfully reminiscent of the things his dad and bullies used to say about him. These are also words that contradict Mike's own words and actions from the previous seasons, things that did once give Will hope. The shame and guilt that comes with falling for your best friend, who you now know will never feel the same after being foolish enough to believe it not too long ago, and who might not even want to be your friend anymore upon finding out the truth, is understandable. He can't have hope like Jonathan can. It's just not the same.
Mike's internalized homophobia lies with assuming El wants him to love her, along with their relationship being expected and socially acceptable from everyone around him. Though unfortunately for her he feels abundantly more in love in the moments he shares with Will. Despite trying to make it work with El as hard as he could, because she's amazing and all any guy could hope for in a girlfriend, he can't ignore the fact that the feelings he has for these two people are different. The shame and guilt that comes with you, a boy, falling for your best friend, who is also a boy, and who is starting to show that he feels the same, all while you can't muster up the courage to break up with your girlfriend, nor can you muster up the courage to tell her that you love her, not when she's begging you, dying or even just simply at the end of a letter, is pretty understandable too. He can't have hope like Nancy can. It's just not the same.
Spoiler: They were not ready.
PS: I'm still not over the fact that they low-key confirmed these events elsewhere in the story...
#byler#st analysis#pocketgate#lettergate#i'm aware this is a hot (big brain) take#but i'm like 76% sure mike understood will in the van scene#also why mike is gonna finally be dealing with some personal business in s5...#just want to add that this makes the scene at Nina hit harder#also#mike trying and failing to tell el he loves her or break up with her at surfer boy and stalling because he just can't fucking do either?#mike's face when will pushes him to profess his love to el right in front of him???#honestly i dont think mike would've gone through with his monologue if he didn't think this is what el wanted in large part#i think he thought that if he did break up with her she wouldn't need him at all anymore#or more specifically if told her the truth she might hate him for it and just not want to be in his life in the aftermath of that#this is why he struggled so much with being honest#it was either lie and suffer but get to keep her in his life most likely or tell her the truth and potentially lose her and still suffer#it's just that now he has literally no choice but to conform and be with her all while knowing it's not what his heart truly wants#the heart not being true to himself jumpstarted the apocalypse#everyone act surprised#byler getting jonathan’d in s5 can be something so personal#no but imagine jon getting even more signals mike feels the same 😭#and he tries to talk to will about it but will just gets upset like pls stop why are you saying this?#or imagine him talking about it subtly with Nancy and her being like no way#only to see it for herself#maybe then Nancy would try to talk to Mike about how he’s feeling#idk I could genuinely see byler just getting byler’d individually#but it’s clear at this point Jonathan is extremely suspicious#honestly all I think it would take is him having intel about their previous fights#if he found out mike defended his behavior by insisting that they’re friends…#jonathan would just be like… oh shit.. the first lie…
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red robin (2009) #5
"[...] But you have ripped open the stitches from your surgery." "Ah." (Well, that's embarrassing.)
whats wrong with him.
#rimi's comic liveblogging#i know this comic has been posted to death. but the thing is. its good#im rereading for the first time since i finished robin '93 and truly it hits sooooo much harder#like i get it i GET IT im having SUCH a good time now bc i understand all the references to robin 93!!!#last time i read it in my tt03 era readthrough bc of the crossover#but now i am UNDERSTANDING and i GET IT and man i just. love tim drake#rr09 really is such a love letter to robin93. and ive seen that said before but i didnt fully appreciate it before now#but now like i GET IT!!!!!!!!!! I GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAUUHGHHGHGH#i love u robin 93 i love u rr09 i love u tim drake i love u comics that are good and fun and enjoyable to read#tim
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zayne saying "i actually like the other person in the photo best"... "the happiness you bring me cannot be compared to anyone or anything else"... "moments i love and treasure the most will always have you in them"... that final scene from the photo event was truly gamechanging 😭🫶
#odorachatter#his constant reminders of how much he loves us just hits so much harder for me knowing that during childhood he was hesitant to talk to us#all because he didn't want to seem 'uncool' and now that we've reunited and are partners its like he's able to completely shower us#with all the unspoken words from his youth#IDKK IF THAT MAKES SENSE BUT LIKE ITS JUST SO 🥹🥹 TO ME I LOVE HIM DEARLY#HES NEVER BEATING THE MARRIED COUPLE ALLEGATIONS#zayne love and deepspace
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inside me there are two wolves: one who will agree with you when you critique s3, especially part 2. and one who will cry when you critique s3, especially part 2
#i realize these really aren't mutually exclusive#ig it makes me sad because i do agree with the crit which hits harder as a FAN who's really rooted for the show#not saying i hated part 2. let's be clear about this right now#i just have some FeelingsTM about it#but i won't detail them anymore because i've let them out in a post before. you can just find it if you really wanna know lol. or ask me!#anyway just rambles#tagging this? yeah why the fuck not#polin#bridgerton
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