#by the way i don’t know if i can make the read more work on mobile

[sorryimananti-romantic]

to a dying? atinyblr

i don't usually speak about these things, but a lot of blogs (amazing writers) are leaving this platform or taking time off bc of lack of engagement which serves as a big demotivating factor. especially and specifically in this atiny fandom, some things have come to my attention and i just want all readers and writers to take a look at this post and refresh some reading and writing etiquettes, as well as revive the essence of being a part of this fandom.

feedback:

i understand that there are a lot of silent readers on here, but since tumblr is dying and our fandom is not very huge, the least you can do to show the writers some support is like the post. 

which brings me to the point that the like function didn't even exist in the past. this site still runs on reblogs. as readers, to show your favourite writers some semblance of support, you should be reblogging with tags. a simple ‘#ateez x reader’ or ‘#ateez fics’ is enough. it's literally not asking for much– reblogs are the only way writers can get reach.

if you cannot do that bc of your blog's aesthetic or whatever, side blogs exist. if you still cannot do that, a simple anon ask appreciating the writer sometimes saves them.

also, what has happened to the quality of reblogs? readers consume years of writers’ work and efforts in mere hours and don’t even leave any feedback? art in general in all forms is very underappreciated and with all sorts of problems like plagiarism, ai writing and everything, true art and writing is dying and needs to be appreciated now more than ever. we’re literally the last generation witnessing ai take over in all fields of arts. appreciate content creators before it’s too late, don’t be a content glutton!

updates and requests:

asking writers for updates when they specifically mention that they would prefer posting at their pace is wrong for so many reasons– we all have a real life. you, the reader, do too. just like you don't always have time to read, writers don't always have time to write. do you ever see the writers asking their readers 'why have you not read my latest chapter?' 

most of the times, writers mention in their bio/faq post or elsewhere that they do mind being asked about updates. respect your writers, please, and do a little scroll before you send such demanding asks (also, sugarcoating when asking for updates does not make it any better!)

if you are only asking about updates, it demotivates a lot of writers bc these same people will disappear when it is time for feedback. writing is a form of art. we can write, artists can paint, musicians can compose music, but all of it has no meaning unless it is shared with an audience and appreciated. readers are just as important as the writers but there is no way of knowing fics are valued unless feedback is given.

the same goes for requests. you can only send a request when the requests are open, which is usually mentioned in the writer’s bio/faq post. it’s literally not that hard to check if requests are open and it’s basic decency to not send a request when the writers specifically mention that requests are closed. when sending a request, please be courteous. a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ are examples of being courteous when sending requests.

the fanfics in atinyblr:

i understand that you can read whatever you like, but why is it that in the atiny fandom, fics that do not contain smut hardly ever get attention? as a writer, i enjoy writing and reading smut, and while i am not specifically a smut blog, i have noticed how fics containing smut get far more reach than fics that do not contain smut– not just in my case, but other amazing writers as well. 

there are such amazing fictions in this fandom. all fics are crafted with dedication and care, yet stories without smut often get sidelined. writers are not able to express themselves in their writing freely anymore and they simply conform to a genre they know readers will consume, as they are forced to consider adding smut to their stories so they can get more reach in this fandom. i have heard accounts from a lot of writers who were inclined to add smut to an otherwise smut-free fic just for reach.

this is by no means hate to the smut writers. i am also not placing blame on them. smut drabbles have always been in this fandom, and there are amazing smut writers out there, doing their thing. it is the readers here who are failing the writers. readers are quick to talk about the lack of ‘good fics’ or ‘plot’ yet will not even bother searching for these works. there used to be a good balance and appreciation for all genres alike.

i know that smut is what's hot and trendy these days, and drabbles in general, no matter the genre, are easier to read when you want to take a short break. but there is such a lack of longfics in this fandom, especially as of lately, and as someone who has personally witnessed the ratio of longfics decrease exponentially, i felt the need to point this out. appreciate all writers! appreciate all genres! longfic writers need as much validation and encouragement as drabble writers, and vice versa! don't be too harsh on longfic writers for not pumping out fics at the same speed as shortfic writers.

and on that note, smut drabble writers experience a lack of quality feedback despite the high engagement, so readers, please don't hesitate to point out exactly what you liked about a fic, even if it's a short drabble! be kind to those writers, give them time to write and be kind when sending requests! they may post more often but they, too, have a life.

tags:

this is specifically for the people who will post a very normal picture of a member, no caption, but tag it something like #ateez smut, #ateez hard hours, #ateez x reader. and for the people who tag their asks with irrelevant tags– literally learn to tag your post properly, and stop crowding the wrong tags. you're just proving the point that if you don't tag a post with the smut tag or something similar, it won't get reach. if you've posted with a caption, that makes sense (though it still doesn't warrant some of the tags being used there).

as for writers, also learn to use your tags appropriately. fics that do not contain smut should not be tagged with smut related tags. believe in yourself. i get that there is the problem of reach but do not overcrowd tags with irrelevant material.

disclaimer:

this is by no means about me. if i cared about the notes, or lack thereof, i would have stopped writing a while ago. while it is challenging to be a writer here, especially as of lately, i still enjoy posting whatever i write no matter the genre or the word count. but it's a bit disappointing that my planned out fics get much less attention than a simple smut headcanons post that i wrote in the heat of the moment with my friend in literally a few hours as a joke (which has reached almost 10k notes btw in a span of 2 years). sure, it has exposed my blog to new readers but that's about it.

this post is for all the amazing writers who have left, are thinking of leaving, or are struggling to voice these problems because they are afraid of being marked as 'problematic' or a 'hater' or something worse. i am not afraid to voice my opinion on here, and if you think that i am wrong, feel free to interact with this post and correct me because i am not claiming that i am right about this.

these are just the observations i have made as someone who has been actively writing on this platform for about 4 years now, and since i have a decent number of followers, i hope this post gets more reach. do not be afraid to reblog this if you agree, and even if you do not, reblog this so someone else gets educated. i may have missed some points so feel free to add if you want too.

[venti-tangents]

General Rafayel Relationship Headcanons

F!MC, no use of Y/N. These are based on my interpretation of the text in Love and Deepspace

sfw

1. His works contains traces of his MC almost everywhere. Rafayel is known for not drawing humans, but that doesn’t stop him form incorporating his lover in everything he creates. Those who look closely will find the flow of the painted ocean to be similar to the flow of her hair, the colours of the fish lifted directly from her wardrobe—Rafayel’s devotion is clear in his paintings, for all to see.

Intertidal zone reveled a lot about how Raf gets inspiration for his craft—and how much of it comes form his MC (sometimes to the point where it concerns him)

2. He wants be around his lover at all times. They don’t have to be talking, touching or even directly interacting—just her presence is enough for him.

3. Cuddliest boyfriend on the planet. I think it takes a bit for his super cuddly side to come out, but when it does, he is almost always attached to his MC. He’s addicted to her warmth, and loves how soft she feels in his arms. Perhaps a small, yet ever growing part of him feels as though she will never forget him again, so long as he can keep her in his arms.

I just know that the MC and Rafayel are most annoying couple you know, if the recent event stories are anything to go by lol. They’re all over each other all the time

Abyssal Chaos gave us rafmc cuddling in front of a window, Tailwag Obsession gave us rafmc cuddling on the floor with a cat by their side, the list goes on and on

4. Banter never ends with this guy. No matter how long him and his MC have been together. On the other hand, long, philosophical discussions are also common place.

5. Raf can canonically sense his MC’s emotions. I read him to be incredibly emotionally mature, and knowing of what his MC needs, and how to provide it to her.

In many of his 4 star audio cards, Raf is shown taking care of MC emotionally. He pulls back when she needs quiet (Rainbow Strokes), is pushy when she’s hesitant, is reassuring when she feels insecure (flowery words). He pulls her out of the house when she’s down(sparkling traces), he lulls her to sleep when she needs him to (sleep aid, memory replay)

6. On the flip side, I think Rafayel loves to be pampered. He melts so easily when his MC provides him with reassuring words and actions (Omniscient perception, intertidal zone, sea god event story).

7. This is a bit of an underdeveloped thought in my head, but Rafayel has a rather possessive side, as shown in his most recent stories. The lumarian words he uses to describe his feelings for the MC literally translates to “You’re mine,” and he talks a lot about leaving his “mark” or “colour” on her.

I think he also likes being claimed by the MC—he wants her to possess him just as much as he possesses her. I wonder if part of this comes from his fear of taking too much from the MC, wanting too much from her, so her being possessive over him calms those fears

nsfw

1. I used to think of Raf as a switch top, but as I learned more about him, I would say he’s mostly a vanilla (no power exchange) verse (tops and bottoms/ gives and receives).

In other words, I think him and his MC don’t really exchange power in their dynamic outside of the sea god - devout follower bond. I think they’re very back and forth about giving and receiving, leading and following in almost every interaction they have.

When him and his MC do decide to play with power dynamics in bed, I think he leans towards taking the dominant role; as much as I love subby Raf, I can’t recall a time in the game where he *truly* summits to MC (in the context of bdsm dynamics). Even when the MC attempts to take control, he flips the dynamic the second she falters. Even when she ties him up (ie. Tipsy Invitation, Promised Wildfire), he makes demands of her in a way that goes further then provocation.

I’ve spoken on this before, back when gem affection came out, but I think Rafayel gets off on “turning the tables” on his lover. Very siren like of him

2. Body worship. He’s absolutely enamored with his lover’s body, obsessed with every part of it. He’ll leave kisses everywhere, so that even if his lover forgets him, her body will never forget his touch

On the other hand, he would love to have his body worshiped too. He wants his lover’s touch *everywhere*, to the point where he finds himself feeling the ghost of her lips all over his body long after their last encounter. In the moment, it serves as a reminder of her obsession with him, that his devotion is reciprocated. He is a god after all—what’s the job of a devout follower if not to worship her god.

3. Scent Kink. He’s OBSESSED with how his lover smells.

4. The biggest tease to ever tease. Off the top of my head, I think of fiery undercuts, but he’s a huge tease in all of his cards

5. I read Rafayel as an incredibly passionate lover. I think to him, intimacy is sacred—it’s not just pleasure to him, but rather him and his lover surrendering themselves to one another. It’s deeply romantic to him, and an exercise in trust

[evnseokz]

꒰ ☆ cologne ~ s.es ꒱

pairing: bf! eunseok x f. reader

contents: p in v, unprotected sex (don’t), established relationship, insecurity, vulnerability, eunseok is whipped, soft dom eunseok, praise, pet name baby, kissing, light choking

this is loosely based off the song cologne by beabadoobee

a.n: been working on this for days trying to get it exactly how i envisioned originally and i think im finally happy with it! w.c: 1.5k

MINORS DNI

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

“seok, am i attractive?”

your voice was soft, almost tentative, as it cut through the stillness of the room. the only light came in from the faint glow of a street lamp outside, filtering through the curtains and casting pale streaks across the bed.

eunseoks fingers, which had been lazily tracing invisible patterns on your bare arm, stilled for a moment. then they resumed, this time slower, more deliberate, like he was thinking through your question as he moved.

“what kind of question is that?” he asked quietly, his tone laced with warmth, though his brow furrowed slightly.

“its a simple one,” you murmured, your head resting against his chest. “yes or no.”

he chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through his chest beneath your cheek. “you think a question like that can be answered with a yes or no?”

“maybe,” you said, your voice light but tinged with uncertainty. you shifted slightly, your fingers toying with the hem of the blanket covering you two. “i guess i just… want to know what you see when you look at me.”

eunseok didn't answer right away. his hand moved from your arm to your shoulder, his thumb brushing your skin in slow, soothing circles. you closed your eyes, inhaling deeply, catching the faint scent of his cologne—warm and musky with a hint of citrus, something that lingered on the sheets and in the air around him. it was comforting, familiar, and entirely him.

“baby, you’re beautiful,” he said, breaking the silence, his voice steady and sure. “you’re beautiful in a way that’s not just about how you look, though that's definitely part of it. its the way you smile when you’re trying not to laugh at your own jokes or how your face lights up when you talk about something you love.”

you tilted your head slightly to look up at him, your eyes searching his face. “thats… sweet, but it's not really any answer,” you said, though your cheeks had already warmed at his words.

eunseok smiled, his fingers gently tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “fine. you want the short version?”

you nodded.

“yes, you’re attractive,” he said simply, his voice firm. “you’re stunning, y/n. i mean it. you make it hard to think sometimes, and trust me, i’ve tried to act normal around you.”

your lips parted slightly, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him, your heart caught somewhere between disbelief and something deeper. the scent of his cologne seemed even stronger now, grounding you, making the moment feel even more real.

your heart raced as you shifted closer to him, the desire to have his lips on your skin suddenly burning through you. it was overwhelming, almost consuming, the kind of need you didn't know you could feel so strongly until now. the weight of the blanket draped over your tangled bodies made the air between you feel heavier, warmer. every subtle shift of your skin against his beneath the covers was a reminder of just how little was separating you.

and as if he could read your mind, eunseok leaned in, his lips brushing the curve of your shoulder, then grazing the sensitive skin of your neck. the warmth of his breath sent a shiver rippling down your spine, and you couldn't stop the soft sigh that escaped your lips.

his lips worked slowly against your neck, savoring every inch of your skin like it was something precious, something he couldn't get enough of. his movements were deliberate, unhurried, as though he wanted to memorize how you felt beneath him. the heat of his body pressed against yours only heightened the sensation, the closeness between you almost unbearable in its intensity.

your breathing quickened, your chest rising and falling against his. his hands, warm and steady, skimmed along the curve of your back, the sensation of skin on skin igniting sparks of heat that spread through you. with each kiss, the warmth in your stomach grew, spreading through your body like wildfire.

his lips finally trailed upward, brushing the edge of your jawline as his hand slipped to the back of your neck, his fingers tangling gently in your hair. he placed small, lingering kisses along your jaw, each one drawing out a quiet hum of pleasure from you.

when his lips finally found yours, it wasn't hurried. it was soft at first, exploratory, like he was still savoring the moment. then, as the heat between you grew, the kiss deepened. his other hand cupped your cheek, tilting your face slightly as if to make sure he could reach you perfectly.

the world outside the room seemed to fade completely, leaving only the sound of your breath mingling with his and the pounding of your heart in your ears. his kiss was intoxicating, pulling you further into him, your body pressed against his in a way that felt like you belonged there.

when you finally pulled back, your foreheads rested against one another, your breaths heavy and uneven. his thumb brushed your cheek as he looked into your eyes, his gaze soft but burning with something deeper.

"you're incredible," he murmured, his voice low and rough from the heat of the moment. "you have no idea how much I need you right now."

your lips curved into a small, breathless smile, your hands resting on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your palms. "then don't stop," you whispered, pulling him back toward you, your lips meeting his once more.

the kiss intensified quickly, your salivas mixing as you ran your hands up and down eunseoks firm chest. his skin, warm and soft against your touch. eunseok moves himself to where he is slotted between your legs. his hardened length resting on your bare cunt. the weight making you sigh against his lips. 

“seok…” you trailed off, voice breathy with need.

eunseok practically melted at the sound of your voice, pulling back to look at your kissed-out face. “yeah baby?” his breath fanned over your face as he spoke, reminding you how close you two were in proximity.

"please," you whined, beginning to writhe underneath him with impatience. "please, i need you, please—" 

"you have me," he murmurs, cutting you off by attaching his lips to yours again, one of his hands moving down the curves of your sides, the other caressing your head gently. his hand moves in between your bodies, taking hold of his thick length and lining it up with your soaked entrance. he gathers some of your wetness on his tip before slowly pushing himself inside of you.

your jaw falls slack at the feeling of him stretching you out, your walls fluttering around him. you arms make their way to his biceps, fingernails digging into his skin as he eases inside of you.

“i got you, baby, doing so well for me.” he cooed, dropping his head to place a kiss on your forehead. he stilled for a moment after he bottomed out completely, letting you adjust to his thickness. his head fell forward again, heavy breaths leaving his lips at the feeling of your tight, warm walls around him.

after a moment, he began to move, starting off slow before picking up speed. his hips snapped against yours at a quick pace; moans fell from your lips at every thrust. his arm that wasn’t holding himself up trailed up your stomach and chest, eventually resting on the base of your neck.

the light pressure he applied sent your eyes rolling into the back of your head. a sense of overwhelming pleasure washing over you as the knot in your stomach tightened. eunseoks thrusts became sloppy, his balls tightening with every thrust. your walls clenching around him, making it hard to hold himself back from spilling into you at that very moment.

he can tell by the way you tense with every thrust and the way your face is contorting that you’re close. his hand falls from your neck, and in between where you two are connected. his thumb finds your clit as his palm rests on your pelvis, preventing you from squirming too much. heat travels up your skin, your entire body flushing as your orgasm washes over you.

“eunseok!” you cry out, your legs shaking and your eyes squeezing shut. “doing so—so good for me, baby. im c-close,” his eyes screw shut as he speaks, the way your walls spasm around him sending him over the edge, hips stilling as his cock twitches inside you, painting your insides white with his seed.

he collapsed on top of you, your chests heaving in sync as you come down from your highs. your hands found his face, cheeks flushed, and sweat dripping from his temples. he’s never looked so good. his hand has found your hip again, his touch setting your skin alight.

the tension between you built again, humming and electric, until you couldn’t hold it back any longer. you tugged him closer if that was even possible, your lips brushing against his ear.

“lets go for another round,” you murmured, the words hanging heavy and deliberate in the charged air between you.

eunseok didn't answer with words. instead, his lips found yours, and the world outside you began to fade.

…

..

.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Chapter 4 - You Bleed Like Me

Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist

Author's Note: Starting a tradition for my long series when chapter 4 is just love interest bonding. Enjoy!

Chapter title from clementine by Halsey

Word Count: 16.9k

Chapter Summary/Warnings: You and Dean have an arrangement. Usual warnings, extra graphic violence warning.

Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, enemies to friends to lovers, canon divergence, slow burn, angst, fluff, monster of the week.

Chapter 3 - Chapter 5

Read on A03!

“This doesn’t really seem like an us case, De-“

“There are us cases?”

She glared up at Dean, her eyes narrowed. “Yes. And this isn’t one.”

“Why not?” He propped his elbows on the table, smirking at Her as he picked up his burger. “What’s an us case, sweetheart? So I know what I should be looking for-“

She snorted. “You’re full of shit, Winchester.”

“Oh, yeah, but that’s not going to get you out of this.” Dean took a large bite, grinning at Her expectantly, and she sighed.

“It’s something that goes fast. That’s strange enough to be interesting, but not dangerous enough that, if one of us has to go early, the other is left dead in the water. And it should play off of our strengths, to make it easier.”

“Huh.” Dean swallowed his food, watching Her carefully. “What’s my strength?” 

She gave him an amused look. “What do you think your strength is?”

“I think it’s my huge, thick, throbbing…” He leaned forward, wigging his brows. “Brain.”

Her bright eyes rolled, but Dean didn’t miss the way there was no venom behind her annoyed groan, or how her lips twitched upwards ever so slightly. “You proud of that one?”

“Yeah.” He shrugged, shooting Her a wink. “What do you think it is?”

She hummed, tilting Her head at him. “You want the honest answer, or the flattering one?”

Dean frowned. “Both?”

“Cool. You’re the face.”

“I’m…” Dean trailed off, shaking his head. “I’m the face?”

“Uh huh.” She grinned at him, poking Her own food with a plastic fork. “You get us in the door, so I can do all the work.”

“You do not do all the work-“

She gave him a flat look. “Who’s higher up on the kill scoreboard?”

“You. But,” he pointed an accusing finger at Her. “Only because I’ve have to leave early for the past three hunts.”

“And I’m up by nine, dumb dumb.” She sat up a little straighter, pride written all over her gorgeous face, and it made Dean feel all soft and gooey. “And that’s exactly why I should get to veto this hunt-“

Dean clicked his tongue, not even trying to fight his smile. “We’ll get back to this hunt in a second, sweetheart, you need to explain the face thing.”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “I already did-“

“Well, was that the flattering one or the honest one? Cause if it’s the honest one, you need to start appreciating me more-“

“I appreciate you plenty.” She snapped, flushing slightly. “And that was the flattering one.”

“Alright, what’s the honest one?”

“I’m not telling you.”

Dean gave Her his best puppy-dog eyes—nothing compared to Sammy’s, but he was getting better, at least with Her—and a pout that he hoped made him look adorable and not constipated. “C’mon, I can take it-“

“No. You’ll have to earn it.”

He scowled. “How the hell am I supposed to earn it-“

“Good question.” She gave him a teasing grin, Her eyelashes fluttering slightly, and Dean’s pout turned a little more real as warmth settled in his gut. “But that does sound like a you problem, Deano.”

Dean leaned back in his seat, rolling his eyes. “You suck.”

“I know.” Her smile grew, lips full and wide and slightly parted and fuck, Dean wanted her to suck on them- “You’re still here, though.”

“I am.” Dean stomped down his pathetic, unreasonable need for Her and took another bite of his burger. “But that’s just cause I don’t know how to leave, Princess.” 

She flipped him off, returning the conversation to the hunt, and Dean wasn’t sure if the flash in Her eyes was from amusement or hurt. It shouldn’t be hurt. He hadn’t meant to hurt Her. He never wanted to hurt Her, it always made him feel ill. Hell, it had been three years since the poltergeist—three years since he’d seen real, pure hatred for him on Her pretty face—and Her expression before she stormed out of the bar was still shifting like ash inside that pit in Dean’s body, reminding him what a piece of fucking shit he was. He’d never apologized for that. He wasn’t sure how he would, because that would require a longer conversation to explain himself, where he finally demanded answers for what Dad had found on Her during the moroi hunt.

And he wasn’t fucking strong enough to have that conversation. Not now. Not when he finally had Her in the loosest possible way, and he didn’t want to screw it up. Didn’t want to open his mouth and poke and prod Her—demand more than he deserved to have—until she left him, like everyone else did. Dean would not whine about his feelings like a little girl. Not when he knew it would drive his only friend away. Not when it would ruin whatever this was with Her. 

He wasn’t really sure what this actually was, but he knew it was something. Friendship seemed to be the easiest thing to call it, but there was more than that. It was over a year of meeting up for hunts, hanging out a little while after—laying on a bed or sitting on the floor or leaning across a table—before parting with grins and promises to call and meet up again. And they always did. There were always weeks where Dad was away, Dean was left alone, and he’d kill that time with Her. With another case that they handled together, as a team, and another week of falling into this enigma of a woman he couldn’t avoid if he tried. 

Because there had been truth in the joke that he didn’t know how to leave. He’d tried. He’d gotten messages for hunts that were a little further away from his motel then was smart, and still gone to meet Her because it was Her. It was a chance to see Her and talk to her and watch her move through the world as if it had been designed for Her. The idea that Dean was the face was baffling, because She was the one who turned heads wherever they went. Backwater dive bars and small farm towns, crowded cities when they walked down the street and roadside diners where they met up, fancy gated communities where people made odd faces at Dean because they could see that he didn’t belong, but smiled at Her because she was meant to be there. She was beautiful, walked with a purpose—Her steps certain, her chin raised high—and said every word like it was a privilege to hear her voice.

And dammit, it was. In the weeks between seeing Her, Dean would be haunted by her voice. It hadn’t stopped following him into dreams, but now it surrounded him on the wind. Every other voice sounded crude and grating compared to Her’s, to the point that Dean had to tune out every woman he slept with, because their moans were like chalk screeching and scraping on his ears.

He’d started to imagine Her moans. When Dad was gone, and She wasn’t available for a hunt—too far across the country or busy with something else She didn’t need Dean for, although nobody ever really needed Dean for anything—he would wrap his hand around his cock and lose his mind to her in the dark. He thought, if She did moan for him, She’d say his name and smile at him, looking at him like he was the only person in the whole universe. And the longer he indulged those fantasies, the more they spiraled out of control. He had to fuck women on their stomachs, because it was easier to pretend that it was Her beneath him. He’d started to fucking look for chicks that had similar features to Her at bars, started to smell them like a goddamn creep, because if there was a fruity smell it turned him on all the more.

But even when there was, it wasn’t Her smell. None of them were ever exactly like Her, not enough for Dean to find real satisfaction. Their hair was the right texture, but not as shiny. Their eyes were the same color, but they weren’t bright. They seemed passionate, but they didn’t seem like the universe. She was the universe. She was bigger than the universe. She was some sort of ethereal royalty sent to test Dean’s self-control, all laughter and teasing and sharp words in a siren voice, pulling Dean into Her orbit without ever letting him collide.

And that wasn’t something friends were supposed to feel about friends. Which was the more part. Dean wanted more. He wanted Her under him, against him, around him, his skin slapping on Her’s until she moaned and Her smile became blissful and calm. He wanted to pull her into a long kiss until she sighed his name, wanted to have an excuse to see Her that didn’t involve death or blood, wanted to know everything about Her until he either held Her for as long as she’d allow or he found a reason to hate Her again. 

Because so far, he wasn’t really having much luck on that last thing. He couldn’t work out how to ask what the hell was up with Her family—her past, her lies, or the way She seemed to shut down at odd moments—without ruining this. And he really didn’t want to ruin this. Even without that more, even without the explanation, this was good. This was the sole constant in Dean’s life. She was the only person who looked at Dean and saw him, the only person who didn’t seem sick of him, the only person he sat with in silence without ever feeling the need to speak. 

Dean wanted to know every fucking thing about Her—beautiful, horrible, and twisted—but he also refused to be the one to fuck a good thing up. If She felt the same blinding, consuming pull to Dean that he felt to Her she would’ve mentioned it by now, because son of a bitch it was impossible to ignore. Dean had to spend active effort in Her presence to not touch her, to not blurt that she was the hottest woman he’d ever seen, to not pick Her up and fold her into his chest or fall to his knees and wrap his arms around Her waist, pleading with Her to just stay all the time.

He was pathetic. She was awesome. And he’d have to be insane to mention the pull, because She’d look at him like he was worthless and horrible for even thinking he could ever deserve to be the one she allowed protect her, then he’d be alone again. 

It didn’t stop him from imaging a world where he was allowed to be Her knight. Be Her dark, following Her like a shadow and pulling her apart where only he was allowed to see. Which was, again, insane. But Dean had already lost his mind to Her enough. 

Because he’d been lying. To Dad. 

Dad didn’t have a clue Dean was doing this. Worse, Dean had no plans to tell him. And Dean fucking sucked for lying to Dad when all Dad did was help and protect him, but Dad was also stronger and smarter than Dean, and knew how not to fall for Her entrancing smile and words and face. Dad knew how to hate Her, and Dean didn’t really want to see the disappointment on his face when he found out how Dean would actively look for cases to work with Her, call Her whenever he could, and take any excuse to be in Her presence. 

Dean didn’t need the extra shame, because it already flailed around that pit inside of him and ate at his bones. He didn’t need to be reminded of how easily this arrangement with Her could come crashing down, because the thought had been buried deep in his skull, but still managed to worm out whenever he was really, truly alone. Whenever he’d cum in his hand to the thought of Her, or squeeze his eyes shut to imagine that she was the one under him, and then realize was a perverted asshole he was. Whenever She’d look at him too long and he’d wonder if she was seeing that pit inside of him, seeing how hollow and disgusting he was, how he was never fully able to wash the mud off his skin to match the way She seemed to glow. If She was realizing that no matter what lies or tricks she pulled on Dean, he was so worthless that he’d always fall for her, so he wasn’t worth her time. 

Even now, in a white tile food court of a florescent mall, She looked a flower growing in a junkyard. Not out of place, but strange. Too beautiful for a place where anything could be, too delicate and natural for anywhere at all. And She wasn’t delicate, but she was something a little to the side of it. She didn’t flinch at blood, and she didn’t balk at challenge, but She didn’t belong at Dean’s side. She was worth more than that. Worth more than the way he wore out everything around him.

And he hoped She never realized that.

Because he was a selfish piece of shit.

“I just think this case is too big.” She was watching Dean with a hesitant gaze, fidgeting with Her own fingers. “We don’t have any real leads, except this,” She made a loose gesture around the mall. “Is the epicenter. No connections between the vics, and most of them aren’t even from this town, which mean no feuds. There’re no connections between the ways they’re dying, either, and no reported odd events-”

 “I’d call five random deaths an odd event-“

“But nobody’s ever died at this mall before.” She propped Her chin on her hand, a small, pretty frown on her face. “Which means it’s not a vengeful spirit, and that’s the only thing that would make sense here.”

“C’mon,” Dean said Her name, putting down his burger. “It’s a puzzle! Which mean it’ll feel so much more awesome when we solve it, right?”

“What if we don’t solve it? What if this is above our pay grade?”

“Nothing’s above our pay grade, Princess, we don’t get paid-“

She rolled Her eyes. “You know what I mean. These deaths are violent, random, and without any sort of monster or spirit MO. Hearts stay in the chests, no blood drained from the body, no EMF or temperature drops. Nothing.”

“So we’ll find something.”

“What if we don’t.”

“We will.” Dean grinned at Her, leaning a little forward. “That’s your strength, sweetheart. You’re the puzzle master.”

She snorted. “Puzzle master implies I create the puzzles, Deano. Not solve them.”

“Whatever.” He waved Her off, holding her gaze. “Still your strength.”

“If it’s my strength, why did you say we’ll find something-“

“Because that’s how teams work,” Dean drawled Her name with a smirk. “One person does all the work, and the other,” he gestured to himself, puffing out his chest slightly. “Gives the presentation. That’s my strength, right? I’m the face and the muscle?”

She shrugged. “Sure.” 

Dean raised his brows. “Really?”

“Nope. And I’m not telling you.” 

He frowned. “Would you tell me if I guessed right?”

“Probably not,” She hummed, glancing around the food court with a frown, then looking back to Dean. “Do you really think we can handle this case?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, watching Her carefully. “I think we’ve got this, Princess. We’re gonna kick ass.”

She hummed, and Dean could read the hesitation behind Her eyes. Clouding over the usual light, Her brain obviously spinning as she weighed whatever doubts she had against Dean’s faith that they could handle this. 

He hoped they weren’t doubts against him. He always fucking worried She’d get sick of dumbing herself down to his level, of slowing Her pace to match his. This case was right up Her ally—Dean knew how much She loved weird shit—but it wasn’t up Dean’s. Hell, he didn’t even have an alley, he just fought whatever he was pointed at. He knew he was only here because She allowed him to be, because She had, for some unexplainable reason, decided that Dean didn’t get in Her way like other hunters did.

He didn’t think that was true. And this was evidence of it.

But She still sighed and nodded, and Dean felt something tight around his lungs go slack.

“Fine.” She said, running a hand through her hair. Dean wished She’d let him do that. “How long have I got you for?”

Dean blinked at Her. “I, uh, what?”

“For the hunt.” She raised Her brows, giving him an odd look. “How long until your Dad is expecting you back?”

“Oh.” Dean felt his face heat slightly, and prayed She hadn’t caught how he’d short-circuited at the thought of Her having him. “Uh, Dad’s in Arizona, so at least a week and a half with the drive back.”

“Okay,” She ran Her thumb over that scar on her palm, her brow furrowed in thought. “Then I’ll give us a week to get it ourselves, but if we don’t get it by then, or the deaths get out of hand, we call in backup. Deal?”

“Sure, but-” Dean frowned. “Backup? You have backup?”

“You’re not the only one who knows other hunters, Deano.” She shrugged, shooting Dean a teasing grin that didn’t help him collect himself at all. “Let’s get moving, we’ve got some investigating to do.”

Dean muttered an agreement, shoving the rest of his burger into his mouth in one movement, and tried not to let the sore thought of who the fuck else does She know circle around his skull as he stood up. Dean wasn’t Her keeper or guard or partner. He wasn’t Her anything. He didn’t have a right to get pissed off and possessive over the very idea that She might think there were other hunters she’d want to handle this. Hunters She’d chose over Dean. Hunters She’d trust over Dean. 

He could handle this. He could prove to Her that he could handle this. He could focus, and be serious, and work this case until they solved it—together, not just Her being cool and smart and Dean trailing in Her wake—so that She’d never worry about needing backup again.

Dean reminded himself as he watched Her comb over the mall map—Her nose adorably scrunched in thought and her tongue tracing over her slightly parted lips—that She only hunted with him. She might know other hunters, but Dean was the only one She sought out for cases. The only one She asked to work with her. 

He was pretty sure he was the only one. She might be lying about that, but he didn’t think She was. She was still lying about Her past—Dean had only tried to learn more with careful, casual questions, but she always kept Her answers vague, and Dean didn’t know how to flat out ask—but he’d grown less and less certain that She was, in any way, a manipulative bitch. She’d gotten uncomfortable stealing a pencil from a diner once. That didn’t scream master thief and con woman, and Dean couldn’t understand how what Dad had showed him was the same person before him. Especially because everything She did say about her past seemed to be true. Most everything she said, ever, seemed to be true, despite Dean’s direct knowledge that should tell him it wasn’t.

But he’d developed a sense for when She was lying. Something would scratch at his head and he’d know that She did care that he was leaving a case early, She did think Dean’s joke was funny, and She didn’t actually care about cars, but She did want to hear Dean talk about them.

Which clashed with what Dad had told him all the more. Dad had repeatedly painted a picture of a spoiled brat, who didn’t care about people like them. That’s what he’d said when She left after the poltergeist. That Dean couldn’t have expected her to stay, because She’d never be able to even pretend to give a shit about people she saw as lower than Her. But then She’d watch Dean with an unwavering attention and soft amusement as he told Her about cowboys and cars and other stuff she obviously didn’t give a fuck about, but listened without ever complaining or trying to shut him up. 

She seemed like that with almost everyone. Dean conducted the interviews at Her side—moving through store after store to ask about the various deaths—and watched Her look at everyone with a similar open, gentle interest in what they told her. At the Radio Shack a tall man with long, ratty hair somehow ended up talking about how his wife loved those solve the crime shows, saying that she would be thrilled he got to act as a witness, and She let out an intoxicating, sweet laugh before telling the man that, while She wasn’t a fan of those shows herself, she’d once been thrilled to be let into a big house like the one in the Sound of Music, so she understood. She said Her dad had to threaten to leave because they were the for work, and She shouldn’t be singing on the staircase.

Dean had frowned for a brief second after, because She should’ve been raised in a big house.

“Did you do the dancing too?” He asked as they walked out of the store, leaning down to mutter in Her ear. “On the staircase?”

She nodded. “Oh yeah. I even got to go back and do a different song after he was done with the case.”

Dean blinked. “Your dad let you do that?”

“His idea.” She looked back to give Dean an easy, mind-numbing smile. “He’ll never admit it, but he enjoyed it more than I did. He said I was big screen talented.”

She wasn’t lying. He didn’t get that story at all—not only the house thing, but Her dad letting her waste time on something pointless, let alone enjoying it—but She wasn’t lying, so Dean’s returning grin was wide. 

“You think you’ll ever sing for me, Princess?”

“I don’t sing in front of people.”

“You just said you sang for your dad-“

“I’d kill someone for my dad.” She shrugged, waving Dean off with a casual hand. “He doesn’t count.”

“You wound me,” Dean mock-whined Her name, and She wrinkled her nose at him. “You wouldn’t kill someone for me?”

She hummed. “Night’s young.”

Dean’s heart almost stumbled to a halt as She just kept moving, and he had to physically shake himself to jumpstart his brain. She wouldn’t kill for him, or sing for him, but the night was young. Dean could jog after Her and walk by her side with the hope of being important enough to Her—Dean would like to be important to anybody, but being important to Her would be awesome—that she’s kill for him. That She’d sing for him.

Walking at Her side, though, was just as awfully simple as speaking to Her. Just as contradictory to everything about Her Dean was supposed to hate. He knew that already—from hunting and walking with Her for a year—but the force of that fact still shocked him. The person Dad said She was wouldn’t toss strangers genuine smiles as they passed each other in the crowd. Those smiles wouldn’t be softer for children, wide regardless of if people smiled back, and somehow bigger when aimed at Dean. She wouldn’t smile at Dean in the crowd like he was the only one she was truly happy to see. She wouldn’t walked so close to him, and look around the world as it parted for Her like it might cave in just as fast. 

The person Dean should hate wouldn’t look so entranced by the dirty, loud mall around Her. Wouldn’t watch everyone with a fasciation that didn’t seem to come from watching animals in a zoo—caged and lower, made only for Her amusement—but like they were beautiful. Like She was water in a bottle watching the river flow, and longer to be a part of it.

Hanging out with Her was making Dean smarter. He wasn’t even sure what that meant, but it sounded pretty. And it felt right. That was how She watched people laugh with each other, how She looked at the clothing in the stores, and how She stared at all the little pastries in the bakery. 

“Do you want one?”

She looked up at Dean with wide eyes, shaking Her head with a nervous laugh. “No, I’m- I don’t need one.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “It’s food, ‘course you need one. C’mon, we can get one of the small ones, they’re like, two bucks-“

“Dean, I’m fine.” Her voice was firm, Her back a little straighter, and Dean frowned. She had called him Dean. That meant she was serious.

“Whatever,” he shrugged it off, watching Her carefully as he continued. “I’ll get one, I’m fucking starving-“

“You just had a burger-“

“Two hours ago,” Dean drawled Her name, lowering down to examine the display case. “I’m gonna get that one, it looks like a tiny pie-“

“This isn’t going to work, Winchester.” She snapped, and Dean glanced up to see Her glaring down at him, arms folded over her chest.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetheart.“

“This.” She made a circling gesture over Dean’s hunched body. “You can’t guilt me into splitting one with you.”

Dean grinned at Her. “I’m not trying to guilt anyone-“

“Good. Because it’s not working.”

“Yeah, I don’t care, cause I’m not trying to do anything.” Dean turned back to the display, flagging down the chick behind the counter to grab four of those awesome mini pies, ignoring Her glare behind him. “You got something you wanna say, Princess?”

He could easily picture Her glare deepening. “Why’d you get four.”

“I’m a growing boy.”

She snorted. “You’re twenty-five.”

“Well, you’re not a doctor. I could grow some more.” Dean turned with his bag in hand, guiding Her out of the shop—they’d already decided it was a dead end, and Dean had pies to eat and a point to prove—with a smirk. “Never know.”

“I do know.” She mumbled. “You won’t.”

“Not if you don’t believe in yourself. That mindset, you’ll never get anywhere in life-“

“Shut up.”

Dean tossed the first mini pie into his mouth. “Bossy-“

“I’ll hit you, Winchester.”

He winked at Her, speaking through his half-chewed mouthful. “Promise?”

He dodged Her kick to his shins, only to fall right onto Her elbow in his gut, spluttering up some of his pie. 

“Shit!” She grabbed his arm to steady him, Her eyes wide. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to get you that bad-“

“Nah, ’s fine.” Dean dusted himself off, pulling himself back to full height, giving Her his best winning smile. “You warned me, that one’s a freebie.”

“I’m still sorry-“

“Don’t be.” He winked at Her. “I’m careful, sweetheart. That’s why I got four.”

She flushed, mumbling another apology, and Dean really didn’t care. He still had three pies, She was adorable when she was embarrassed, and it was kinda funny. He’d spat that up like a cartoon.

He did only get two of those pies, but that was because he won the previous argument, so all was right in the world. Dean made it through his first whole one with dramatic and vulgar sounds of pleasure, watching Her scowl at the air, then flush, then start to glance at Dean with hungry eyes.

He was unable to hide the smug glee in his voice when he raised his brows at Her.

“Hey, Princess.”

She glared at him, Her lips in a pretty pout, and Dean’s smirk grew as he dug around through the bag, pulled out one of the pies, and offered it to Her.

She looked between Dean and the pie, snatched it like She was worried it was a bomb set to go off, and marched away as she shoved it in Her mouth. 

Dean didn’t understand Her at all. 

He didn’t really care.

Most of the stores were dead end leads—everyone they interviewed not able to mention anything strange about the mall or off about their store the day before someone was literally murdered in it—so they ended up fucking around more than any two hunters on a case probably should. Dean was cracking more jokes than Dad would usually allow, but She was a receptive audience, and Her giggle was like lightning through Dean’s blood. She kept watching everything with that same fasciation, and the pie had seemed to open some sort of dam in Her as the afternoon crept on. She spent the half the time in Yankee Candle smelling things, inspected over the stuffed animals in a toy store like she was choosing a counsel, and spent so long starting at books in Barnes and Noble that Dean decided it was fine for him to take an hour in the vinyl store.

“Of course you like vinyl.”

Dean frowned at Her. “Yeah, I’m not a freakin’ heathen-“

“I know.” She said the words simply, like they were obvious, and Dean felt something hum happily in his chest, just to the right of his heart. “But it’s been an hour, De, and I know for a fact you already have that album as a cassette tape-“

“It’s about appreciating art, Princess.” Dean shrugged Her off, turning back to the shelves. “You can head out whenever you want. I’ll find you when I’m done.”

She scowled, but didn’t leave. She stayed right at Dean’s side, even asking him a few questions about the albums and not acting like She regretted it when his answers were long and detailed. She scanned over the store with a small, thoughtful furrow in Her brow as Dean spoke, but he knew She was listening because then she’d ask fucking follow up questions. She must have been looking for a clue or lead, because halfway through talking about Metallica She grabbed his arm and dragged him to a corner of the store, crouching down to run a hand over a crack in the wall, and looked up at Dean with a sigh.

“Sorry, I thought I-“ She shook her head, frowning at the crack. “Never mind.”

“You thought it was something for the case?” Dean dropped at Her side, not really caring to examine the crack. It was a plaster wall, there were going to be cracks and he didn’t really think it was anything at all.

But She had. And Dean always wanted to know why she thought something. 

“I’m not sure, I just-” She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, twisting a ring on Her finger. “I don’t know.”

Dean frowned. Lie. “Don’t know what.”

“What we’re looking for.” She muttered, her voice lined with frustration. Truth. “I don’t have a fucking clue, De, and I don’t like it. I mean, we can interview the victims’ families again, but they’re all different demographics, and I don’t- I don’t know-“

Dean said Her name cautiously, placing his hand on Her back, but She just kept talking.

“I don’t know, this, it feels bad.”

He frowned. “Yeah, it’s a bunch of gruesome murders-“

“No, I mean- I know you can’t- Only I- It’s just bad. It’s really bad and I can, I can feel- it’s like-” She sighed, slumping slightly into Dean’s touch, which made him feel like he was flying. “It’s wrong, Dean. It’s dark.”

Dean didn’t have a goddamn clue what She was talking about, or why She was watching the crack like it might spread up and collapse the building, but She looked really worried. He’d never seen that on Her before, and it felt like a blaring alarm in his chest, demanding Dean listen to Her. That he fix this.

“Look, Princess, I’m not sure what you’re talking about-“

“I know. I sound insane.”

“Yeah, you do, but-“ He offered Her a small grin, even though her attention was still fixed on the crack. “We’ve still got a few more stores to go, and we’re going to find something. No funny business on our watch, right?”

“No, but,” Her tongue peeked out between her lips as she let out a long breath. Dean wanted to pull it between his teeth. “This… I don’t really want to know what it is.” She finally looked to Dean, and there was something nervous in Her eyes that made his whole body tight. 

“We can’t just give up,” Dean said Her name carefully, rubbing his hand in a careful circle. “We deal in the nasty and bad, that’s the job-“

“I’m not saying we give up, De.” She mumbled. “We’re going to fix this, but I’m saying I really don’t like this. I can’t describe why, but I don’t, and maybe we should call in the backup now-“

Dean shook his head. “You promised me a week-“ 

“I know, I’m just saying we don’t have anything. Not even a real lead.”

He shrugged, rising up and offering Her his hand. “We’ll find one. It’s about attitude,Princess. Fake it till you make it.” 

“I don’t think you can fake evidence. I think that’s actually a felony.”  Her voice was a little lighter as Dean helped Her to her feet, and it made him feel hot, bright pride. He’d cheered Her up. Just Dean.

“Lucky we’re not real cops then, right?” He winked at Her, and she snorted.

“No, that’s actually also a felony-“ 

“You’re focusing on the negative,” Dean drawled Her name, guiding Her out of the store with a hand on her back. “Remember. Attitude.” 

She rolled Her eyes. “You’re a dork.”

“I’m hilarious and charming.” He corrected, trying not let Her small smile move too deep into his heart. “That’s my strength, sweetheart, I keep the spirits up while you get all emotional-“

She whacked his chest, giggling as Dean took a large, dramatic step back. “I am not emotional-“

“You just hit me because I hurt your feelings- Shit!”

He barely dodged the kick to his shins, taking a large step back to avoid the elbow.

“Ha,” he let out a loud, triumphant laugh. “I’ve learned all your tricks- fuck!”

Dean did not dodge the tackle. She side-slammed into him with a light force that Dean should’ve been able to absorb, but still sent him stumbling. Not because he was hurt—She never actually hurt him, her every hit controlled and delivered with a gleam in Her eyes that made Dean grin—but because She seemed to not anticipated catching him off guard, and ended up pressing Her whole body to Dean’s and setting him on fire. She fit there, soft and warm and natural, and Dean couldn’t stop his arms from flying to wrap around Her, to take her down with him.

Landing them both on the floor of the mall, looking more like teenagers than the official police investigators they were supposed to be. But if people were staring, he couldn’t see them. He could only see Her. Beautiful and consuming in his lap, his arms around Her torso and her hands braced on his chest. Smothering him with the smell of fruit and sugar, drawing him in closer as they just stared at each other. 

He was blinded. Her eyes were wide and vast and seemed to be wrapping around Dean until everything in the universe was one color, and that color was Her. He couldn’t stop himself from glancing down to Her lips. Slightly parted, the feeling of them still branded onto his cheek, just as bright as the rest of Her and luring him closer like he was only moth-

She swallowed, shifting slightly above him, and it broke him out of the spell. She could not be squirming above him in public. Not when they had a job to do and Dean wasn’t sure She’d like or want the consequences of that action.

“We should, um-“ Her words were slow, as if she had to think every single one out. “Case. Evidence.”

“Right, yeah. Case.” Dean stood carefully, helping Her to her own feet. “What, uh, where are we-“

“Macy’s.” She mumbled. She was still standing too close, where Dean could feel the heat of her body. “It’s actually the last stop.”

“Good, awesome-“

“No, not awesome.” She gave Dean a flat look. “This is our last store, and we have nothing.”

“I told you, Princess, we’ll find something.” He trailed at Her side as they began walking, staring at Her as they moved through the crowd. She’d stop him from hitting anyone, and she was so much better look at than a bunch of random strangers and shops. “It’s all about the attitude and teamwork, about playing to our strengths. My strength is, of course, being the level-headed decision maker-“

She laughed. “No.”

“Alright, but you gotta tell me-“

“I don’t have to do anything.”

He sighed. “You’re so mean to me.”

“That’s because you’re a loser, Winchester.”

“If I am, you’re losing with me.” He grinned at Her, she glanced at him with a light in Her eyes, and those words didn’t stab him deep in the soft tissue of his stomach like they should’ve. Dean was a loser, but she didn’t say it the way most people would’ve. She said it like it was endearing. Like She wouldn’t want Dean any other way.

He hoped She wanted him at all. The most evidence he had that She did was that she was here. Hunting with Dean, talking to the cashiers and walking by his side. Giggling as he made stupid jokes about the glittering heels in the shoe isle, making Her own jokes about a rack of hideous dresses, watching Dean with amusement as he glared at a bedazzled belt in the men’s isle.

“What would you even use that for?” He asked Her, turning it over in his hand. “It’s all freakin’ sparkly-“

“I think that’s the point, De.” She shrugged, standing right at Dean’s shoulder as he continued to glower at the belt. “Sparkly cowboy belt, who wouldn’t want one?”

Dean scoffed. “This is not a cowboy belt-“

“Yeah, it is.” Her arm brushed over Dean’s as she grabbed the tag, and he almost completely forgot what they were talking about as every bit of his existence flew to that touch. “Bling Western Belt, Men’s.” 

“That’s… that’s fucking dumb as hell, cowboys don’t wear glitter-“

“Fun cowboy’s wear glitter.” She nudged her shoulder with his, Her smile brighter than every stupid rhinestone on the belt. “Maybe you’re just a boring cowboy.”

Dean raised his brows at Her. “So I’m a cowboy? Is that my strength?”

She wrinkled Her nose at him. “That’s not a strength, it’s a characterization-“

“But I am a cowboy-“

“A boring one.”

He shrugged. “I’ll take it.”

“You do that.” She hummed, looking over Her shoulder with a frown—that little furrow in Her brow deep, her eyes focused—and Dean paused, letting the belt drop from his hands.

“You good, Princess?”

“Huh?” She looked back to him with an open expression, the wrinkle still there, and God, he wanted to touch it. “What’d you say?”

He scanned over Her carefully, looking for any sign of distress, anything he needed to fix. “I asked if you’re good-“

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She grabbed Dean’s arm and tugged him away from the belt, down the aisle. “Let’s keep moving.”

She didn’t seem fine, but she also wasn’t frantic or edged enough for pushing Her to be worth it. Dean had a feeling She’d just bristle and snap, or shut down completely, and he didn’t know how to the hell to fix it if She did. He didn’t want to ruin this. He couldn’t ruin this. He had Her as close as she’d allow, and he wanted to keep her there until he was forced away. Dean wanted to keep listening to Her speak about things he normally wouldn’t care about, but felt fascinating when She said them. He wanted to know Her every thought on this case, understand what she meant by it feeling bad, and maybe learn enough that, if She tested him, he’d pass and be allowed closer. Close enough that She’d explain herself without Dean ever needing to ask.

Close enough that he might be able to spend whole days with Her walking through a mall, no threat of death hanging over their heads. Just Dean making dumb jokes, Her explaining things to him, and Dean telling Her his opinions and kissing Her on the head when she hit his chest, both of them smiling and their hands tangled perfectly together-

Dean did not need to hold Her hand. He was not a toddler. His fingers might be aching to touch Her skin and his body might be straining to press against Her’s, but that was just his body. His body that didn’t seem to care that She was, still, lying to him. That Dean should be a lot more focused on the people being murdered part of this rather than lost these countless fantasies of Her. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t dream of them tonight, where they couldn’t affect anyone but Dean. Where all they did was carve into his resolve and pull him further down into Her, where he couldn’t afford to be.

Where he didn’t have the will to leave. 

It was why he kept trying to get his head in the case, but couldn’t. He just kept thinking of Her in front of him, kept getting lost in Her voice with no need to be found. 

“God, this shit is expensive.” She mumbled at Dean’s side, her eyes scanning over the price tags of various perfume bottles as she fidgeted with the EMF reader. “I mean, I use that one, and it is not worth a hundred bucks.”

Dean mumbles a passive agreement, glancing at the bottle She’d nodded to. Fancy and crystal looking, filled with golden liquid and labeled with a French word he couldn’t pronounce. He almost looked away—he didn’t really care about perfume at all—but then he realized that could be it. That could be the fruit smell.

He grabbed the bottle, turning it in his hands, and She gave him an amused look. 

“You looking for a new perfume, Deano?”

“Shut up.” He muttered. “What’s a keynote.”

“It’s like the main smell of something.” She hummed, and Dean frowned between Her and the label.

“This says the keynote is vanilla.”

“Uh huh.” She looked back to the EMF reader. “I think this area is clear, which means we still have-“

“And you’re sure you wear this?”

“Pretty sure, considering I got it for myself-“

“This.” Dean held it up for Her to see. “Vanilla. You wear the vanilla.”

“Yep.” She gave him an odd look. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,“ Dean placed the bottle back on the shelf, shooting Her his best winning grin. “I’m fantastic, Princess, just didn’t pin you for the vanilla type.”

She raised Her brows. “What did you pin me for?”

Dean couldn’t answer that, because he’d sound like an insane person. He already felt like an insane person, because every time he’d been near Her, he’d smelled fruit. He was goddamn certain of that, because it drove him out of him mind and made him feel like a giddy, dumbass teenage boy. And there was no universe where Dean would be able to look her in the eyes and say well, I think about how you smell all the time, sweetheart. And you do not smell like vanilla.

So he just winked, shoving his hand in the pockets of his jacket and moving right back to Her side. “I’ll tell you if you tell me my strength.”

She sighed. “Nice try.”

“Did it work?”

“Nope.” She was scanning the store around them, and Dean was about to ask what would work when She did a double take, grabbed his arm, and yanked him down to the floor.

Dean’s balance stuttered slightly as he went down, and he flinched as he landed flat on his ass. “Damnit,” he grunted Her name, rubbing his tailbone. “What the hell was that for-“

Her hand shot out to cover his mouth, Her voice falling to a whisper. “Quiet, I need to-“ She cut herself off, craning her neck up, then ducking back down a second later. “Fuck.”

Dean raised his brows at Her, and she glanced at him with a that little furrow between her brows.

“What?”

He gave Her a flat glare, pointing to her hand, and she flushed.

“Shit, sorry-“ She pulled Her hand away and Dean glowered her, his voice rising to a hushed shout.

“Why’d you do that-“

She covered his mouth again, giving him a stern glare. “Quiet.” She hissed. “I think we’re being followed.”

Dean blinked at Her, dragging her hand off of his face. “By who?”

“Tall, hot lady with the dark hair.” She whispered. “She’s been right behind us through the whole store, she was at the food court, and in almost all the shops-“ She paused, giving Dean an odd look. “You haven’t noticed?”

“No, uh, not really-“

“She tried to hit on you, De. Like, five times.“

Dean frowned. Nobody had hit on him today, let alone multiple times. It had just been Her and Dean the whole day, only ever speaking to other people when they were doing the interviews or getting food. He’d remember if a tall chick had been coming onto him. He’d remember if he’d spoken to a hot lady at all.

But he only remembered talking to Her.

“You said she’s has been following us all day?”

“She called you cute in the bakery, Dean. And complimented your music taste in the vinyl shop.”

Dean frowned into the air, trying to will the memory into existence, and came up blank. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She snapped, glancing over Her shoulder wearily. “I was right next to you.”

She sounded sour. Like the words tasted bitter on Her tongue. Shit, even Her pretty face was scrunched slightly, Her nails scratching at her skin and her body tensed.

Dean’s face broke out in a wide grin. “Holy shit,” he leaned a little closer to Her, dropping his voice into a loud whisper. “You’re jealous.”

She looked back to him with that gorgeous flush and wide eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about.”

“You’re all pissy because I might have not been paying attention to you-“

She rolled Her eyes. “You literally don’t remember her. And even if you did, I would not be jealous.”

Dean knew She wouldn’t be. The sour thing was probably more from Her overall worry about them being followed. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to keep taunting Her until she shoved him, not when he got to see her all adorably and mumbly and embarrassed. 

“It’s okay, I get it. You don’t have anything to worry though.” Dean’s grin was probably shit-eating, and he took the risk to lean in closer, until his body was almost covering Her’s. “I only got eyes for one lady to stick around in my life.“

She raised Her brows at him, her voice dry. “Your dads car?”

He shrugged. “Two ladies.”

“You don’t know two ladies.”

“You’re a lady, genius-“

She snorted. “I am not a lady.”

Dean waved Her off, bracing his other hand on the perfume self. “You’re the most lady lady I know, you use perfume-“

“Because I like smells, Winchester, not because I’m a lady.”

“You can dance-“

“I’ve told you, anyone with legs can dance.”

“Not me.” 

“You can rodeo, cowboy.”

Dean gaped at Her for a long second—still scanning around them for his alleged stalker—and he couldn’t really remember how to speak. She’d called him cowboy. She’d said it like it was plain and obvious and shouldn’t set off fireworks along his ribs. Like it shouldn’t suddenly be incredibly important to Dean that she call him that again very soon, ideally now-

“Our shadow’s gone.” She muttered, looking back to Dean with a small frown. “I still think we should be careful.”

Dean shook himself out of the gaze, giving Her a lazy grin in the hope She hadn’t noticed his almost drunken daze. “I’m always careful, sweetheart-“

“Says the guy who didn’t even notice he was being followed-“

“I can’t be expected to remember every chick that hits on me, Princess.” He spread his arms wide, smirking as She rolled her eyes. “I mean, look at me. C’mon.”

She gave him a dry look, opened Her mouth to spar back at him, but froze with a gape and flash of Her eyes. 

“Uh,” Dean waved his hand in Her face, saying Her name. “You good in- damnit-“

He lost his balance as She grabbed his hand out of the air, turning it palm up and running a light touch over his fingertips. Small sparks of electricity flew over his skin at the contact, at how feather like and gentle it was, like Dean was worth being touched carefully, and fuck, he wanted to hold Her hand so bad-

“What are you-“

She raised one finger, and Dean fell silent, watching Her examine his skin like it was priceless. Turning it between Her hands, leaning down to look closer, really touching Dean, lighting him up golden from inside-

“Hey, uh-“

“Dean.” She looked up at him with wide eyes. “I’ve got it.”

He blinked at Her stupidly. “Got what.”

“What we’re after.” She dragged two fingers over the pad of Dean’s thumb, then held them up for him to see. “Sulfur.”

His brain still wasn’t back to normal. Not while She was still holding his hand. “Huh?”

“There’s sulfur.” Her grin was almost manic, and Dean would be a little freaked out if it wasn’t Her, and he didn’t recognize that as Her I’m about to be right about something smile. “Which means…?”

She was prompting him, and Dean had to rub his head slightly to remember. “Uh, demons, right? They-“ His eyes widened as he finally caught up, all the pieces—violent murders, random victims, no normal leads—fell into place. “Shit. That’s not good.”

“No,” She hummed, squeezing Dean’s hand slightly. “But it’s something.”

——————

You can’t keep living like this. You can’t keep crashing into Dean over and over, expecting it not to leave a mark. It does. It always does. He keeps sinking into you in ways you don’t expect, until your back feels bare without his hand and everything is worse when he’s not there with you. You’ve spent the past year running your fingers over cassette tapes and fighting to urge to get one for him, lost money to buying food because you think Dean would like it, and wasted time staring at your phone and willing it to ring so you could hear his voice. It’s gotten worse the longer your arrangement has gone on. You still don’t know what it is, but you know it’s all only gotten worse.

It’s not a maintainable way to live. Dean has only left you in your motel room, and you already miss him. It’s been ten fucking minutes and you’re uneasy, the White twisting and coiling because Dean’s not next to you and it seems to believe that he’s a given. Everything falls into smooth harmony when he’s there, and when you separate it’s like being doused in ice water that grips your throat and drags the world to press against your skull. He’d walked you to your room with a wink and reminder that he was just down the strip, and you waved him off and told him you were a big girl who wasn’t going to hurt herself changing her shirt. Then he’d shrugged, you’d closed the door, and everything had been worse.

It all felt smaller. The room was too narrow, the ceiling too short, the mirror too close and its reflection too sharp. 

And that’s not Dean. That’s just you. That’s how it always is, how it’s always been. The White glows and the darkness eats you and everything is too small until it’s not. Until the darkness makes you not only you, and it’s all vast and infectious until you drag yourself back down and it’s all small again. It’s dangerous. You’re dangerous. The darkness has gotten stronger in this past year, and you’ve grown sicker, and it’s dangerous. You can’t control it, and the old ways don’t work as well as they did before. 

“I had another one,” you’d mumbled at few weeks ago, glancing up at Bobby from across the table. “Wendigo hunt, in Oregon.”

Bobby had grunted, running a hand over his beard as he watched you carefully. “You alright?”

“Yeah. But I,” you’d swallowed, a foul stench still trapped in your nose. “I ruined a creek.”

“Whatdy’a mean, ruined.”

“I mean the water flew out of it.” 

Bobby had blinked at you. “Out of- out the whole damn creek?”

You’d nodded, and he’d leaned forward in his chair, his voice low and cautious. 

“You’re still tryin’ to remember what sets them off, yeah?”

“I was…” You’d swallowed, because you couldn’t tell Bobby the full truth.

You’d been hunting with Dean. He hadn’t been answering your messages, and the darkness had started to expanded until you were the dirt and the leaves and the mud and the water, and the water had felt distressed, and you’d been falling apart and Dean wasn’t there and then-

He’d been fine. His stupid, dollar store pager had been snapped in his backpack while he was pissing, he hadn’t had signal to call you, and he’d just laughed and brushed you off when you’d shoved him and shouted that he couldn’t just vanish on a hunt when he was the asshole who insisted you hunt together in the first place. If he’d noticed the suddenly dry creek bed, he hadn’t said anything. If Dean has noticed any of the real outbursts—the ones you don’t catch before you lose control—he hasn’t mentioned it, or even given you an odd look.

But Bobby didn’t know you were hunting with Dean. He still doesn’t.

So you’d said you were afraid, because it wasn’t a lie. 

“The… the wendigo was near me, I could feel it, and I freaked out.” You’d sighed, twisting a ring on your finger. “And that was it. No deaths.”

“Good.” Bobby had muttered, glancing down to your hands. “Any injuries I need to know about?”

“No, I got the wendigo-“

“Injuries on you,” Bobby had said your name with a knowing look. “I know how you handle this shit, kiddo, and it ain’t my place to tell you how to deal with it, but if ya’ got anythin’ I need to patch up-“

“No.” You’d whispered, hanging your head slightly. “Nothing.”

Nothing visible. Nothing Bobby could see. He knows about the scratching and biting and picking, but he doesn’t know about the iron. He still thinks you wear the rings because they’re fashionable. He doesn’t know about how they crush the darkness further down by force, or how they leave stains along your bones and over the White. 

He doesn’t know how they seem to be fucking useless lately. How the blowups have not only been more powerful, but the darkness has risen with more ease. 

You think that’s Dean. You’re not sure why, but when you’re with Dean with darkness and the White seem to meld peacefully, right up until they don’t. Right up until you’re in another situation like Vitus last year, and Dean’s by your side, and it’s all suddenly devouring. Over and over the blowouts have been bigger when you’re hunting with Dean, over and over you’ve had more… episodes when you’re together. When there’s a monster you know wouldn’t look or lunge at you, but now Dean’s here and he’s in danger.

Danger from the monster.

Danger from you. 

Because you really can’t control it, and if you have a real blowup—not just everything being too big as you cling to a little bit of control with your teeth—Dean will pay the price. He hasn’t asked much about the episodes, only given you strange looks after and patted your head awkwardly when they linger a little longer, cracking soft jokes and refusing to leave your side. Thankfully, he just seems to think it a girl thing, because he’s an adorable dumbass who mostly hangs out with his dad.

Which is another problem. Every time you indulge yourself—every time you cave into this strange need to be wherever Dean is—you’re a step closer to a death at John Winchester’s hands. All it would take is one easy case, one slip up where he finds out what Dean does when he’s left alone, and you’d be fucked.

But you’re already fucked. Because you really don’t care. You don’t care that John might find out what’s happening and try to kill you, because you’re faster than that asshole, and you know how to disappear. You don’t care that Bobby will kick your ass when he finds out what an idjit you’re being. You only care about the way the world seems to fall into place when Dean greets you with a wide grin and shout of your name across a parking lot. You care about how he’s still here, and he hasn’t gone anywhere, and you don’t think he will. You don’t know if he’s grown blind to what you are, or forgotten, or simply isn’t bothered by it anymore, but you know he’s here.

In the same motel, just a few rooms down.

He’s tried to convince you to share a room—it’s just a room, Princess, and if I was gonna stab you, I’d have done it by now—but that’s where you draw the line. You simply cannot put yourself in that situation. Where Dean showers and you can hear the water, where you wake up and he’s sleeping across the room. You can’t allow yourself to find out whether or not he wears a shirt to sleep, or what side of the bed he prefers, or if he tosses and turns through the night.

You’ll get weird. You’ll be tending to a part of this desire for him that will consume you if you’re not careful. It’s already pathetic and strange that the White is always tugging you to his side. That you always smell grass and spice, even when Dean must be states away. It’s bad enough that you dream about him, that his touch is like a cure to the pain that lives in you, that it feels like you’re growing and for once it’s not malignant. It’s already too much how the darkness is soothed into the White when he’s there, that those fractured pieces scattered through your body always grow towards each other like a spiderweb that’s learned to mend itself. That when Dean smiles at you all those pieces start to catch light and throw it across the darkest, deepest corners of your innards.

It’s worrying that when Dean’s gone, they curl and fester until he returns. 

It’s the fucking worst that whenever he’s even near you, you want… more. Not just his hands on your bare skin or his lips wherever he wants to put them, but all of him. 

So you can’t share a room with Dean. Because if he wanted all of you, if he had even a sliver of what kept calling you back to him, he would’ve mentioned it. He would’ve had to, because the words tell me you feel this too, please, just so I know I haven’t lost my mind always live on your tongue. 

But he hasn’t said anything. 

And you don’t want to destroy this. If it breaks, you won’t know how to live with only the pieces left in your hands. 

Not when it’s been this good.

Because you’re crashing into Dean every single moment, but you’re bending to him too. You’re allowing him to be something you’ve never really had.

He’s your friend.

He looks out for you. He talks to you like you’re not only ever speaking out of turn. He’s even convinced you to start hunting with a weapon.

“What’s this?” You’d asked him, and he’d shrugged, a wide grin on his face.

“It’s a knife, Princess, it goes chop-“

You’d rolled your eyes. “I know what a knife is, I’m asking what this one is doing here.”

“It’s for you.” His voice had dropped slightly, his eyes scanning over your face slowly. “So you don’t get yourself killed when you hunt alone.”

“Dean, I’ve never gotten killed before-“

“Yeah, it’s kind of a one-time thing,” he’d drawled your name, his hands in his pockets so you couldn’t shove the knife into them. “And now I’m not gonna have to worry about you-“

“Aw,” you’d grinned at him. “You worry about me?“

“No, I-“ He’d scowled. “Just take the goddamn knife.”

“Say you worry about me.”

He’d swallowed, his eyes narrowing, and grumbled so low you’d barely heard it. “I worry about you. Pinky promise you’ll actually use that thing.”

Dean had raise his pinky, you’d beamed at him as you locked it with yours, and now that knife stayed under your pillow when you slept. And Dean worried about you. As a hunting partner. As a friend.

You think that’s what this will have to be. It doesn’t seem to be enough for any singular part of you, but it’s more than you’ve ever had before.

It’s poking fun at each other in a way that doesn’t bite and sharing amused looks when someone says something dumb. It’s telling him most everything about yourself and him acting like you’re the most fascinating person in the world. Him doing the same to you, and you hanging onto his every word like they’re the most important things you’ll ever know. It’s not as if you never tell people about yourself, but you really like telling Dean things. He only looks at you when you’re speaking, then he makes stupid jokes that pull a giggle from your lips, and his face wears a shit-eating, prideful grin that makes you want to touch his lips to check that he’s real.

If you don’t count Bobby—and you usually do—Dean might be the only person in the world that knows you and likes you.

Mostly knows you.

Knows everything but that one last, foul truth. And sometimes, you do want to tell him about you being… whatever you are. A witch, a monster, something bigger, something worse. Times like when he sits with you after one of your episodes and you want to explain. Times like when he seems to think you’re more important than you are, when he makes a passing remark about you being fancy. 

Times like at the mall, when you’d felt something sicker and darker than you in that crack on the wall. Rotting and molding inside of and around it, reaching out to you and trying to wrap around your skin. 

It had felt like you, but with nothing colorful cast around it. The whole mall had felt like that, but that crack had been worse. Focused.

You’d checked your notes when you’d gotten back to the motel. Checked what you’d gotten on the vic in the vinyl shop. 

A lumberjack who’d had skin under his nails, like he’d fought back. Bruising on his ankles like he’d been yanked down by them.

So now you’re bent over the sink, trying not to choke on bile or look in the mirror. Because unless you’re wrong—and you don’t think you are—that had been damage left by the demon’s anger and pain. Damage that had been like you. 

You pull it together. You run a shower that burns your skin, sit in the tub with your knees folded into your chest, and pull it together. Dean will be here soon, so you have to fucking pull it together.

But you take off the rings. They’re not nearly enough to stop anything, and even when you stop feeling the suffocation of your tangled sheets, pure pain is still wrapped around your skull like a halo. You know taking the rings off won’t heal or mend it, but at least it will lessen the agony. 

And that will have to be enough.

Dean knocks on your door with a wide grin and dramatic bow, and from here the night should be simple. You’ll go to a bar, Dean will get a beer, you’ll get what he calls a girly drink, and you’ll figure out the Demon’s pattern so you can kill it. You’ll lean back in your booth as he leans forward, and you’ll laugh and talk until you realize it’s almost midnight, then you’ll have to actually work on the case.

From there it will be easy. For you. You’ll lay out all the pieces—it’s a demon, Dean’s pointed out that all the killings seem to happen at night, and you’ve been caught on the fact that over half of the victims seemed to live outside the county—while Dean offers adorable and mostly useless comments. He’s not dumb, but he seems to think he is, and likes playing it up for the bit. And White always sings when you tell him he put something together and his grin becomes toothy and boyish, so you never bother telling him to shut up in a way that you mean.

And that is how the night goes. Dean’s foot keeps pressing against yours—making everything silver and your body melt closer to his—and he orders a lot of food when you finally get to work, but you’re still thinking aloud and Dean’s still cracking dumb jokes, so it’s easy.

Right until around 1am, it’s easy.

“I don’t understand why all the murders are different.” You lean your head back onto the booth, keeping your eyes on Dean’s. “It’s not just the different stores. There’s never the same kind of murder. One blunt-force, one neck snapped, one hanging, and one girl’s report said she was flayed-“

“Hey,” Dean points to his burger, raising his brows. “As much as I love your dirty talk, Princess, I’m kinda eating.”

“Yeah, sorry, I’m just…” You trailed off, frowning at the ceiling and rubbing your palm with your thumb. “Demons don’t always follow a pattern, but they usual have an MO. A favorite type of victim, a favorite way to kill them, something that can be used to figure out where they’ll strike next.”

Dean shrugs, speaking through a mouth full of fries. “You’ll find it. I’m gonna get more fries, you wanna basket?”

You shake your head, closing your eyes as Dean shuffles out of the booth and racking your brain for anything you can use. Night killings, never in the same store. Inconsistent timeframes, too, because it seems to have been two nights since the last murder. But that means there’s probably a new one coming, and if it’s nighttime right now-

“Hey, baby, what’s a pretty girl like you doing here all by herself?”

You open your eyes to see a man that’s definitely not Dean dropping across from you. He’s a litter shorter, a little more wiry, with gelled hair and a smirk that crawls on your skin instead of sparks on it. 

“Uh, I’m not by myself.” You glance over to the bar, your eyes finding Dean in a second. His back is to you as he leans over the counter, and you can easily imagine his wide grin as he watches the bartended collect his fries. “My friend’s just getting food.”

“Well,” the man settles into the booth, leaning forward with a wink. It’s not as pretty as Dean’s. “I can keep you company until she gets back.”

“Actually-“

“Name’s Frank.” He extends his hand, and when you shake it, his hands are clammy. “Pretty girl got a pretty name?”

You say your name, watching him wearily. “And I’m kind of working-“

Frank laughs. “It’s one in the morning, baby, you should take a break-“

“I got two, ‘cause you always say you don’t want any then you try to fucking eat mine-“ Dean cuts himself off with a scowl when he sees Frank, and you think he’s suddenly standing a little taller. “Hey, buddy, you’re in my seat.”

Frank shrugs. “Sorry, man, I got here first-“

“You did not.” Dean snaps, dropping the fries down on the table. “Cause that’s my seat.”

“Didn’t see your name on anything, bro. And she,” Frank gestures to you, and you blink. “Is way out of your league, so beat it.”

“Beat it?” Dean laughs, and that’s his hunter laugh. You’ve mostly heard it right before he kills something. “Listen, bro, I’m asking one more time before your ugly mug and my fist have a chat-“

You grab Dean’s wrist—you’re in no position to get in a bar fight, especially not over a seat—and give him a pointed look. “De, my root beer is empty, I’m gonna go get another.”

He frowns at you. “That’s your fourth one-“

“And?” You squeeze Dean’s wrist slightly as you rise out of your seat. “You’re not my dad, Winchester. I’m a grown woman, I’ll have fifteen if I want.”

“Damn right you’re a grown woman, baby-“

Dean shoots Frank the most venomous glare you’ve ever seen. “Shut it, haircut. And you,” he turns back to scan over your face. “I can go get your root beer, you eat the fries-“

“I’m not hungry.” You nod to your booth. “And you can have my seat. Compromise.”

Dean stares at you, an emotion you can’t read painted over his every feature, and shakes his head slightly. “No, I’ll, uh, I’ll come with you.”

“Sure.” You shrug, giving Frank a sweet, polite smile. “Nice to meet you. Sorry, we have to go-“

Frank frowns, his words clipped as he cuts you off. “So you are with pretty boy over here-“

“Yes.” Dean snaps. “We’re partners, douchebag. C’mon.”

You don’t get another word in before Dean’s pulling you to the bar, sitting you on a barstool and dropping at your side.

“Are you okay?” You ask, watching him scowl at the bartender. “You look like someone shat on your burger.”

“I’m fine.” He grunts, giving you another odd look. “Did you give him your number?”

“No, why would I have done that-“

“Good. Wouldn’t be safe.” Dean turns back to the bar, ordering your root beer as you stare at him.

“Yeah, I know.” You tilt your head at his bitter expression, and let it go for now. Dean can be strange, and you’ve learned to mostly ignore it. Besides, you have bigger things to worry about. “I had an idea by the way, while you were getting the food-“

“Before or after Slimy McHairgel sat down-“

“Before.” You shrug, giving the bartender a full-lipped smile as she passes you your root beer. “I got distracted after, but-“

“You got distracted-“

“Yeah, he was talking to me. But look, all the murders have been happening at night, it’s been a minute since the last one, and they’ve never hit the same store twice, so, if we patrol the mall tonight-“

“We might catch the demon in action.” Dean finishes your thought, turning his own beer in his hands. “Good plan, Princess. See that’s your greatest strength-“

“You’re really hung up on that, huh.”

Dean throws up his hands, his voice almost a whine. “Sue me for wanting to know what my-“

“Is this seat taken?”

You and Dean blink at each other as a silky voice cuts him off, and you turn to see a tall, hot woman with dark hair smiling at you. 

The lady from the mall. Who’d been following you all day, and Dean apparently had never seen.

You didn’t go insane. 

“No.” Your hand shoots out to grab Dean’s on instinct, and he tenses, sitting a little taller. “We’re actually talking-“

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I saw you at the booth with him,” Mall Lady points back to Frank, still wallowing in Dean’s seat. “And thought you were together, so-“

“They’re not.” Dean snaps. “We are.”

You’re going to kill him later. He can’t just say shit like that, because he means you’re at the bar together, physically, but the White grabs those words and flies away with them. You’re together. You’re two things, but now you’re one because you’re together, and that’s not true but it doesn’t stop the bellowing of your whole body to move further down into Dean. It’s annoying.

Mall Lady said something to you. You didn’t hear it.

“Sorry, can you-“

“Oh, I was asking where you’re from.” Mall Lady doesn’t even seem to be looking at Dean, her eyes focused on you with a strange glint that makes your skin crawl. 

“America.” You keep your voice flat, raising your brows at Dean in a silent confusion. He just shrugs. 

“Where in America?“

“The part with land.”

Dean snorts, and you kick him under the table.

“I see.” Mall Lady still won’t look away from you. “And have you always been… on the land part-“

“I dunno, I’ve on a boat a few times-“

Dean says your name as he stands, and you realize you’re still holding his arm. “I’m getting tired, you wanna get out of here?”

He’s squeezed himself between you and Mall Lady. You’re not sure he knows he did that. It still makes you smile.

 “Yeah,” you rise up, linking your arm through his. “Let’s go.”

Dean drops his voice as you move out to the parking lot. “That was weird.”

“Yeah, no shit.” You glance at him. “Are you actually tired, or are we ready to look at the mall.”

“You mean break in-“

“It’s not a break in. I’m picking the lock, nothing’s getting broken. So,” you raise a finger at him with your best stern glare. “Shut up.”

Dean chuckles. “Bossy.”

This time, he dodges your every hit, laughing the whole time.

It’s not a big mall, but there’s still a lot of space to cover, and Dean flat out refuses to let you split up. You suggest it three times on the drive and twice as you pick the lock, giving it one last shot as you scan over the colorful, peeling map, and he’s just pretending he doesn’t hear you. 

“Real mature, Winchester-“

“I’m not trying to be mature.” He grumbles, watching you pull out your knife out of your bag. “I’m trying to make sure you don’t get killed.”

“I am not going to get killed-“

“Yeah, you’re not. Because we’re not splitting up.”

You’d lost the argument, and now you’re wandering through the mall in the dead of night—Dean only a pace behind you—finding absolutely nothing and only listening to Dean’s slow breath. 

“You breathe really loud,” you grumble, and he scoffs.

“Yeah, well, you breathe really quiet.”

You shoot him an amused look over your shoulder. “Good one.”

“Shut up.”

You hum, turning around and scanning over the empty halls. The darkness feels hot. The air is heavy and burning in your lungs, your skin is covered in a phantom cold sweat, and everything is so quiet. Too quiet. Quiet in a way that buzzes in your ears and rattles your head.

“Something’s wrong.” You whisper, your voice sounding small in your own ears. 

“I’d say, this whole place is freakin’ freezing-“

“No, I’m worried-“ You stop, turning to face Dean with a frown. “No, it’s not.”

“Yeah, it is, look,“ Dean lets out another loud breath, and it clouds the air around him. “And my fingers are like damn ice, can we stop at a gas station for hot chocolate when we’re done-“

“No, we’re not getting hot ch-“ You cut yourself off with a sigh, another flash of heat hitting your body.

You’re losing your mind.

Dean says your name slowly, taking a tentative step forward. “Are you feeling alright-“

“Yeah.” Your voice is tight and clipped, every breath scraping at your throat, and you don’t sound fine. “I, uh, c’mon. If it hits dawn and nothing happens, we’ll go get hot chocolate.“

You turn on your heels and march away, Dean’s voice slightly out of breath as he jogs after you. 

“Wait, you said no hot chocolate-“

“Don’t question me, Winchester.”

He laughs as he lands back at that pace behind you, and you feel dizzy. “Yes, ma’am.”

You waste another hour, finding nothing. Hearing nothing. Doing nothing. You’ve checked all the spots that haven’t been hit yet multiple times, nothing. Not even a drop of blood.

“I need to pee,” you mumble, and Dean grunts from behind you.

“Let’s go to the bathroom-“ You turn to frown at him. “Let’s?”

He nods, and you give him a flat glare.

“You’re not going to the bathroom with me, Dean.”

“We’re hunting a freakin’ demon, Princess, I’m not leaving you alone-“

“You are so I can pee!”

He shakes his head. You’re going to punch him. “No, it’s not safe-“ “What if you stand outside?” You offer, because he’s a fucking toddler you have to barter with. “And I get to piss alone.”

He scowls, but gives in, and you go into the bathroom alone.

You don’t see it until you’re at the sink. And even then, you feel it first. Dark without any reprieve all around you, withering and drenching your head in something spiked and heavy.

The sink cracks, but your hands are by your side. There’s a feeling like you’re underwater, you see your reflection grow jagged in the mirror as it shatters from the edges, and when you turn, she’s there. 

Mall Lady. 

And you’ve seen dead bodies before.

But something about this one is worse.

It’s filled with that same rot that was in the crack. Her eyes are bloodied, and her arms and chest are covered in scratches, and her fingers are missing nails and her teeth have little bits of something soft and sickening caught in the gaps. Like she’d fought for her life.

Then, she’d lost. 

And now she’s strung up by her neck for you to see, and you can feel the strain of the rope to hold her up and the suffocation of the water trapped in pipes over your head and it’s too big, this is all too big-

You think you screamed, because suddenly Dean’s there and his hand is in yours, but he can’t be here right now, because this is too big and you don’t want to hurt him-

Something strong wraps around you, and it doesn’t drag you back down, but it keeps all the darkness inside you. Not soothed, not pushed, but just down. Pressing at the edge of everything but not trying to explode. 

You’re not at ease until cold, untainted air hits your lungs. Until something steady grabs your head and brushes sticky hair from your eyes, and you know that you’re you. You’re not the coldness of the building behind you, or the wear of the concrete under your feet. You’re just you, sitting on the curb of the parking lot as Dean tries to talk to you, his thumb running down the bridge of your nose.

He looks worried. He looks panicked. Eyes wide on yours, his grip nervous—like he’s worried he’ll make one wrong twitch and you’ll burst apart—and he keeps muttering your name in a tone that’s almost too low to hear.

“Hey.” You whisper, and Dean lets out a long breath, dropping his head.

“Shit,” he mutters, looking up at you under hooded eyes. “You good?”

You nod, unable to break his gaze. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you petting my nose?”

He stares at you, then at his thumb. “I dunno.”

“Oh.” You swallow. “Okay.”

“I’m gonna, um,” Dean’s grip on your face tightens slightly, his expression filled with something you don’t understand. “I’m gonna go get the car.”

You nod, and Dean still doesn’t move. He just watches you in the dark, his thumb still pressed to your nose, and neither of you move.

Then he leans forward and kisses the top of your head, and the world does a strange sort of stutter. Like a vinyl scratch or static on the TV, all color and noise when Dean’s lips press against your skin, leaving a glowing stain you know will linger when he’s gone.

It had been like that last time too. The same feeling, the same tattoo, the same burst of silver over your ribs, blooming and twining through your body as the fractured pieces on your body begin to grow back together.

It lasts only an infinite second, and then Dean’s gone. Walking away to get the car, with one last glance at you over his shoulder.

You don’t want him to go. You can walk. You can go get the car with him, then drive somewhere that’s not horrible to work out your next steps. You really don’t need to wait here. You really don’t want to be alone. You should stay with him, just so you can see him and know he’s real and you’re you enough to touch him-

A hand lands on your shoulder, and you flinch as someone says your name over your head. “Funny meeting you here!”

You glance back and it’s Frank. In the parking lot. At almost 4am.

“Uh, hi.” 

“Small world, right?” Frank grins at you, leering above you. “First the bar, now here. Some might call it fate!”

“Yeah, sure.” You glance around the lot, entirely empty. You’d made Dean park off to the side. You’d been a fucking idiot. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugs. “Just out for a walk.”

“At 4am?”

Frank laughs. It’s bone-chilling strange, and it’s a little harsher than it had been in the bar. “I like to get a head start on my day, babe. What are you doing here?”

You push down the bile in your throat from babe. “I’m, um, waiting. For my friend.”

“What, your partner who talks like he thinks he’s some big shot?”

You frown. “No. I mean, yeah, but-“

“I don’t see him.” Frank does a dramatic sweep of the abandoned lot, then grins at you. “How could anyone stand a pretty thing like you up-“

“I’m not a thing.” You snap, your nails digging into your skin. “And he didn’t stand me up.”

Frank shrugs. “I mean, you could do better.” 

“No,” you mumble, trying to curve your body away from where Frank’s still touching you. “I don’t think I could.”

“You could. With someone better.” Frank’s hand creeps over to your neck, and you freeze, looking up to see a strange glint in his eyes. It was the same one Mall Lady had, before her eyes were only blood.

And something snaps into place in your brain.

Fuck.

“Like…” You trail off with your best innocent look, letting the pain of Frank’s grip hold the darkness down for you. “You?”

“Oh yeah, babe.” He says, and you think it’s meant to be charming. “I know a back entrance in there,” he jerks his head to the mall. “And we could have a little fun, get some privacy. What’d you say?”

There it is. You’ve got it. And this time, when you narrow your eyes and focus all the darkness with a deep scratch on your skin, you can see something revolting and glinting roll around inside Frank, leaving the same horrible imprint on him it had left on Mall Lady. 

The demon. Trying to lure you as he had lured all the other victims, like he had probably meant to lure Dean with Mall Lady. 

A date or hookup, a strange, interesting spot to explore. People from out of town who won’t know about all the previous murders. The most horrific death the demon can think of in the moment, probably for some sort of sick sport. 

You don’t really want to be a part of his score. You don’t want to know why he’d switched from Dean to you so quickly, why he was so set that he’d follow you. Why he’d still target you like this, when he must know that you’re a hunter. 

When he might know that you’re something like him. Something wrong.

“So?” The demon leans down, barely a breath away. “Wanna have some fun?”

You open your mouth—hoping you figure out how to talk yourself out of this one when you start speaking—and feel relief wash over your body as headlights blind your vision and Dean screeches to a stop right before you.

“Hey!” You almost melt at the sound of his voice. He can never know. “What the fuck are you doing here, bitch-“

“I’m talking to your bitch.” The demon sounds proud of his not-joke, and you scrunch your face. “You dropped a hot piece of ass, bro, sorry she’s moving onto bigger things. Right, babe?”

The demon squeezes your neck right as Dean looks to you with a deep glare. “Right,” you whisper, holding Dean’s gaze as he blinks at you.

He’s only blinking at you.

And you blink back. Two firm times, keeping your eyes wide otherwise.

He catches it instantly, his eyes flicking down to the demon’s hand near your throat, then back to yours. Blinking once. Check in.

And you blink twice. Not safe.

Dean’s moving in a flash. Gunshots echo around the lot, and you duck and roll as Dean charges forward. When you push yourself to your feet he’s already trading blows with the demon, but they’re not even. The demon is stronger, far stronger, and you think the only thing that’s keeping Dean matched is all his pure fury. You can see it covering the profile of his face, cast in the shadows of the streetlamps, but there’s already blood on his lip and a swelling mark on his cheek and he can’t keep this up-

You fumble for your knife, but Dean must have taken it and put it in the car. You can feel the darkness crashing back up and out, but you can’t detonate, not here, not now-

The demon raises Dean up by his neck, you hear a strangled sound that might have been a scream leave your throat, and there’s a crunch when Dean falls down. 

And there’s the rush. Big and not all yours to control, the darkness all around you and a little more, but aimed where it needs be. Over Dean’s slumped body, and right at the demon.

Your hands don’t move this time, but the demon still implodes. You’re everything around you—chilling wind and cracked sidewalks and chipped paint on the pavement—and it’s crushing the demon, folding and caving it in inside of Frank, gathering it into a tiny ball before bursting like a nebula out of his body. Frank’s eyes flash with gold and orange and red light, his mouth opens in a distorted roar, and then the darkness sucks itself back into your body, and it’s over.

You fall to Dean’s side, barely feeling the scrape of your knees of concrete. He’s groaning, eyes fluttering slightly, but you’re certain he’s survived worse. This just needs rest and water. The crunch looks to be only his hand—at an odd angle and completely slack—and there is a larger bruise near his temple, but he’ll be alright. You will make it so he’s alright. You’ll move his big-ass body as carefully as you can into the car and ensure that he’s comfortable in the passenger’s seat before you set off to the motel. You’ll keep careful attention on him as you call 911 for the real Frank, who will be traumatized, but live. You’ll keep a hand on Dean’s chest as you drive, because he keeps slumping forward and it makes your blood cold.

When you park, you’ll run to unlock your room before lugging him inside. You’ll lay him on your bed and take his hand in yours, wincing slightly as you hold his hand and feel the cracks in his bones.

This is the first time since the poltergeist that you’ve seen him knocked down like this. The first time since the poltergeist that the darkness has felt like it could fix something. Fix Dean. It’s right at the tips of your fingers, moving in an odd harmony with the White, and you could fix this. 

You let a little of it out. Just a drop, moving from your hand to Dean’s, and you might chew through your lip because what if this just hurts him, what if this makes it worse-

Dean’s fingers flex. And when you trace over his hand, there’s nothing. Not even a fracture.

It worked. You fixed him.

And it hurts. The White and darkness are starting to clash against each other, and every part of them that touches seems frayed and fragile. It hurts just as much as when the darkness gets the better of you, but this is somewhat worse, because it’s just you hurting. Just you caving in on yourself, and just you deserving it because what if you hadn’t healed Dean. What if you’d infected him, and now he was going to be in pain like this too.

You fist your hands, tuck them behind your back, and move to your couch. You can’t be close enough to Dean that you could touch him. You might make all of this worse if you touch him again. But you can’t leave him, not when he might need something. 

So, couch.

You track Dean’s every, even but slow breath as he lays on your bed, and your own exhaustion begins to catch you. It creeps over your eyes until you’re eased down into soft, dreamless sleep. You’re not sure when you fall fully under, but you blink and suddenly there’s light leaking through the slats of the motel shades, and Dean’s not passed out on the mattress.

He’s sitting up on the headboard, his jacket discarded to the side, watching you with another one of his unreadable expressions.

“Morning, Princess.” He mutters, and his voice is low and rough and still filled with sleep. 

This is exactly why you hadn’t allowed yourself to sleep in the same room as him. His hair is messy and sticking up at funny angles, and there’s still some dried blood on his chin and a bruise on his cheek, but he’s also relaxed. Splayed out on the bed, his eyes softer than you usually see them, and it’s really amazing how the universe keeps finding new ways to fuck you. New reasons to crash and bend and mold further and further into Dean, until you’re all the way down and there’s no turning back.

So all you can do is rub your face clear of your own sleep, and give him a small smile. “Are you feeling okay?”

He raises his brows. “No morning back?”

“You know what time it is,” you sit up a little straighter, studying his face for any further evidence of injury. “Tell me how you’re feeling.”

“I’m feeling like I want you to say good morning-“

You wrinkle your nose at him. “Good morning, Dean Winchester.”

He clicks his tongue. “Shit, full name, I’m in trouble-“

“You will be,” you give him a pointed look. “If you don’t answer my fucking question.”

“Bossy,” he mumbles, his eyes glimmering as he tries to coax you further down. Even if he doesn’t know it, he’s trying to make you crash fully into him.

You’re going to re-break his hand.

“Dean-“

“Jesus, alright, I’m okay.” Dean gives you his wide, winning grin that’s usually designed to make you roll your eyes and giggle, but right now just makes you scowl. “See, barely a scratch. All that’s left of that demon douchebag is a headache.” Dean pauses, his grin faltering slightly. “Shit, what happened to the demon.”

“I exorcized it,” you lie through your teeth—he can’t know the truth, he’ll either call you crazy or try to kill you—twisting your skin on your finger as you watch his reaction. “We’re good.”

Dean’s face drops into a frown. “You’re lying.”

You blink at him. “What?”

“You didn’t exorcize the demon.” He mutters, watching you through narrowed eyes. “I know you didn’t.”

“You do not know-“

“Yeah, I do.” He snaps, sitting up a little higher in the bed. “I’m goddamn certain, sweetheart, so tell me the truth.”

“Dean-“

“Truth.” He spits, and you might be drawing blood on your skin with your nails.

He’d called your bluff, and it might just be luck, but it doesn’t seem like it. He didn’t sound like he was making a gamble. He sounded like he was taking a shot a foot in front of him. But you can’ttell him the truth. The truth will take him away from you forever. The truth is building wider and wider around you, all while strangling your throat, and your tongue always hates lying to Dean but everything else in you doesn’t want to lose him-

“I didn’t-“ You try to swallow the words, but you can’t seem to keep them down. “I didn’t exorcize it, I-“

“Son of a bitch!” Dean shouts your name, running a hand over his face. “You just like the asshole get away! Just because I was injured?”

Your brow furrows as you gape at him. “You were passed out, Dean-“

“And that was a goddamn demon, who’s killed over half a dozen people in two weeks! You always prioritize the hunt-“

“Over your life?!” You rise up on your knees, glowering at Dean, the darkness starting to rumble as he glares back. “We’re partners, Dean, my job is to have your back, that’s the whole point of hunting together-“

“Not over the case.” He pushes off the bed and moving to tower over you, his hand braced on the couch. “Other people are going to die because you decided to play hero for me-“

You laugh up at him. “Like you never play hero, Dean. Dragging me out of the building like I’m little damsel for you to save, like you’re rescuing me and I’m just too fucking pathetic without a big, strong, white knight serving me.”

The words hit their mark. Hit deeper than you’d meant them to. You don’t even know where you were aiming, or why you’d fired, or when you’d found the bullet, but you’d hit Dean so far down, you can almost see him flinch.

He doesn’t say anything. His jaw ticks, and his fists clench and unclench, but he won’t just say something and you’re losing your mind because you didn’t mean it, the darkness had just been everywhere and it had all been too much but Dean had felt real. He’d still felt real and it all hurt because you’d always prioritize him over some stupid demon, and you were still lying to him, and you hadn’t played hero. You’d just matched the demon, and gone darker. You were the monster, and you’d always save Dean-

Suddenly he’s moving. Hunching down to grab his jacket and stomping to the door. 

Going away. 

You don’t want him to go away.

“Dean, wait please-“ You know sound pathetic. You don’t really care. “Just- I’m sorry-“

You’re faster than he is, and you manage to fly over the couch and move in front of the door before he can reach it.

“Wait, I’m sorry, I-“ You shouldn’t be about to cry over this, but you’re clenching your jaw until your teeth break to stop the tears. “Dean, I’m sorry, I-“ He tries to move around you, and you shift to block his path once more. “Just wait-“

“Why, you still need a hero?” He sneers, leering down at you

“No, I didn’t- I didn’t mean-“ You take a long, shaking breath, forcing yourself to hold his gaze. “I don’t think you’re trying to play hero, Dean, I just, I think you’re-“

“Your knight?” He sneers, raising his browns. “Your fucking bodyguard or toy-“

“I think you’re my partner!” You shout, because even calling him your friend feels like it’s too much right now, because it would make this need for him all little more real. Something that you really could break. “I think I’d probably have been fucked without you, and I didn’t- I didn’t mean to- You’re-“

You run a hand over your face, scratching slightly to try and drag the words together, and Dean’s frown almost seems to falter.

He mutters your name, but you push on.

“Your strength is that you’re a fighter, Dean.” You snap, and his eyes widen slightly. “But not just in a muscle way, you’re… smart. Under pressure. Any pressure. I freak out but I get to freak out because I know you’ve got me. I don’t think you’re trying to play hero. I think you’ve got my back.”

“Oh.” He blinks, and all the electrically in the room seems to dissipate as he just looks at you. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” You whisper. “No problem.”

Neither of you move for a long moment. The darkness is settled back down, and the White is straining for Dean, but it’s always doing that so everything is back where it’s meant to be. But you’re still watching Dean to make sure he doesn’t flicker and vanish. To check that you’re not asleep, or this isn’t an odd torture from the demon or your own mind. 

Dean looks like he’s watching you the same. 

And he’s really close. You’re drowning in him. In grass and spice and gunpowder, in his eyes on yours and the warmth that radiates off his body. 

You can’t touch him. 

You really want to.

“Are we-“ You rub your arms as you hug your body, and it’s a dumb question but you have to know. “Are we good?”

“Yeah.” He gives you an odd look, but his words sound like the truth. And if they’re not, you’ll just pretend they are. “We’re good.” “Cool.” You mumble, trying not to lean forward as Dean takes a step back. “Do you, um, do you want hot chocolate?”

His brow furrows slightly. “Aren’t we gonna look for the demon?”

He won’t find the demon. The demon’s gone.

But you can waste a little more time looking for it. Eventually you’ll suggest that maybe it just skipped town, and if you see another series of mall killings, you’ll know exactly what’s going on.

And you’ll get to stay next to Dean a while long. Talk to him. Laugh with him until you forget the look of real, hateful pain on his face.

“Yeah.” You shrug, offering him a small smile. “After hot chocolate?”

Dean chuckles. “I think I can live with that.”

“Good.”

You’re watching each other, and it’s not angry, but it’s tense. Dean looks like he wants to say something. You know that you want to say a million things, and you’re not even sure where to start. Another apology, an explanation of your episode in the bathroom, the truth about the demon, a scream of can he feel this, is that why he’s staying, he shouldn’t stay, he should run and never look back because you’re stuck with you, but he can go-

“Can I ask you something?”

You nod, and Dean’s lips drawn into a small pout. 

“You, uh, you talk about your dad a lot.” He mumbles, scratching the back of his neck. “Are you guys still close?”

“Yeah, we are. He, um,” you glance down at your hand, running your thumb over your palm. “I visit him all the time-“

“Where does he live?”

“North.” You keep your words simple and vague, and Dean gives you an odd look. “But when I visit him, we always try to do something that isn’t…”

“Fucking depressing?” Dean offers, and you let out a small laugh.

“Yeah. Fucking depressing.” You let out a long breath. “Usually it’s just going grocery shopping and not buying doomsday bunker food, eating something sugary and stupid, and sitting out in his yard to, um, watch the stars and talk. I tease him about the cashier that flirted with him at the grocery store, how his best friend pulls more that he does, and he tells me that I shouldn’t talk when I-“ You cut yourself off, flushing slightly. Dean does not need to know that you’re worse at flirting than Bobby is. And you’ve seen Bobby try. It’s horrific. “I- uh- I need his house and food for the next week. Then we go inside and watch a really old movie, then go to bed.”

You glance up at Dean, and find his mouth slightly open. 

“That’s… awesome.”  

You look up at Dean’s open expression, so pretty, and real, and here. Dean’s still here. Not touching you, but close to it. Not trying to push past you anymore. He’s staying.

And you smile at him. “Yeah. It is.”

End Note: I love leaving little clues for things that won't be evident until chapters later.

Thank you so so so much for reading!! If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

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[willowsnook]

back to you

hi! can I request angst with a happy ending for Oscar please? Maybe exes to lovers?

Oscar piastri x ex!reader

—--------------------------------------

Three years ago

“So this is really it?” You asked Oscar, your confusion morphing into shock. “But I thought we were so good together?”

Oscar sighed, his arms crossed as he stood in your dorm. “We are good together, but I’m going to be traveling more in F2 and as a reserve driver, so it doesn’t really make sense to continue this.”

“Doesn’t make sense?” Your anger was rising now, threatening to boil over. “We’ve been together for two years, jackass. Does that mean nothing to you? Do you even care about me?”

“Of course, I care about yo,u y/n,” he said, his eyes softening. “But this is my career; I need to put it first.”

“Get the fuck out,” you snapped, and he flinched in surprise, a flash of hurt in his eyes. “Lose my number. I hope you make it to F1 and get everything you ever dreamed of, but I hope you have it all alone.”

That was the last thing you ever said to him, and you didn’t regret it one bit. You met him your first year in college in London and were a perfect match. His dry-humored personality complemented your sassy attitude, and you both had a lot of fun together. If you were being honest with yourself, it was never super serious between you and Oscar. It was nice and fun, maybe a little toxic, but the way he ended it with such nonchalance is why it still irritated you even three years later.

—-----present day—----------

You had hoped that when you accepted the job with McLaren, you and Oscar’s paths wouldn’t cross. After graduating with a marketing degree, you took a position with their partnerships team, meaning your primary responsibilities would be representing McLaren to their sponsors and helping coordinate events. Generally, the events did not involve the drivers, but with it being three weeks in between races, they were expected to attend a small, exclusive happy hour in London. And, of course, you were the lead for the event.

You were wearing a nice pair of brown plaid trousers paired with a sleeveless, high-neck black turtle neck and hair pulled up in a tight bun. You’d done this a million times before, so you weren’t necessarily nervous, but the thought of interacting with Oscar again made you physically ill.

The boys arrived at the venue together, both dressed in their own versions of business professional, and headed to where you were standing with your boss. 

“Hi guys,” she said. “I have to go, but y/n is in charge, so she’ll give you the run-down.” 

The boys nodded as she left before turning to you. Oscar’s mouth opened slightly as he looked at you in surprise. 

“Hey, y/n, I’m Lando,” Lando greeted you with a bright smile. “And this is Oscar.” 

You returned his smile widely. “It’s nice to meet you both.”

Oscar snorted at your response, and your eyes flashed. Lando looked over at him in confusion. 

“Are you really going to act like you don’t know who I am?”

Lando, misreading his comment for being a stuck-up celebrity quip, started apologizing for his teammate’s behavior. 

“I’m sorry, have we met?” You asked, feigning being puzzled and effectively getting under Oscar’s skin. 

“Don’t act like I haven’t had my hands on every inch of your body,” Oscar snapped, eyes narrowed, and Lando’s eyes widened in shock. Your eyes narrowed, and you squared your shoulders at him. 

“If I could burn off my top layer of skin to be pure from you, I would,” you said coldly. “How’s life anyway? Lonely at the top?”

He flinched at your words, and you knew you hit a nerve. In an interview from last year, you'd read that he was struggling with being lonely after joining F1, so you knew that would remind him of your parting words. 

Oscar’s jaw tightened, and his eyes flickered with something that looked like hurt before he masked it with indifference. “Life’s great, thanks for asking. It’s everything I worked for.”

“Everything you worked for?” You scoffed, crossing your arms. “Yeah, I bet it’s super fulfilling to win races and go back to an empty hotel room. Sounds amazing.”

Oscar’s lips parted, clearly taken aback by your jab, but he recovered quickly. “At least I have something to show for my sacrifices. What about you? Working events for McLaren? Sounds like a step down for someone convinced they would end up in New York, working for a top agency.”

It was your turn to flinch; that had been your dream ever since you were a kid, and you were still reeling from the failure of it not happening. But you had one last card to play against him, one you didn’t even want to. 

Lando, who had been awkwardly watching the exchange like a spectator at a tennis match, raised his hands in a desperate attempt to intervene. “Okay, guys, maybe we save this for another time? Or never? Never works too.”

“It is a step-down,” you said icily. “But a lot of dreams died after my dad did.”

It was like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over Oscar, the way he stiffened at your words. You knew it was shitty, throwing your dad’s death in his face, but he pushed you too far, and the wound was still fresh. 

“Y/n.. I-I didn’t…,” he stuttered, but you raised a hand to cut him off.

“The happy hour is starting now,” you said, trying to regain your composure. “There are only five different companies, so it shouldn’t be too overwhelming. Be nice, be optimistic about the rest of the season, and ask questions about them as well. Find me if you need me.”

With that, you turned on your heel and marched into the venue. Lando and Oscar stood in silence, watching you disappear. Lando was still shocked at how Oscar acted, having never seen his teammate lose his temper like that. 

“So you two dated or something?” He asked cautiously and Oscar shot him an annoyed look. 

“Unfortunately,” he replied shortly. 

“I’ve never seen you so worked up from someone,” Lando commented. 

“She still knows just how to get under my skin,” Oscar muttered before walking in. 

You did what you did best during the event, schmoozing your heart out. It was fun for you, and by the end of the even,t you had forgotten the interaction with Oscar at the beginning. After cleanup, you went into the bar's main area, sitting down to order a martini. 

“Mind if I join you?” A voice asked, and you turned to see Lando standing next to the chair by you. 

“Sure,” you replied. “Have fun tonight?”

“These aren’t my favorite kind of things if I’m being honest,” he admitted, and you nodded. “Our sponsors always treat me like I’m some kind of god when I’m really just, well, me.” 

“I could see that,” you said. “Thanks for doing a good job, though; you make my job easy.” 

“You make it easy for us,” he replied, and you blushed at the compliment. 

He fiddled with his drink as you both sat silently for a bit, and you sighed, knowing what he wanted to ask. 

“Out with it, Norris. I know you want to ask about it earlier,” you said teasingly. 

He blushed before meeting your eyes. “I’ve just never seen him like that. He’s always so well put together and almost polished.” 

“We bring out the worst in each other,” you said, bringing your glass to your lips. 

“But you used to bring out the best?” He offered. 

“Something like that,” you muttered. 

“I’m sorry about your dad,” Lando said, and you felt a wave of sadness wash over you.

“Thank you,” you said softly. “I shouldn’t have said it like that to him; I’m not usually that mean.”

“You were both emotional seeing each other,” Lando said warmly. “I won’t hold it against you.”

“I appreciate that,” you said. “It’s a lot of old feelings resurfacing.”

You gave him a forced smile, and he studied you until you finished your drink. 

“Well, it was good to meet you,” you told him, standing up and slinging on your coat. 

“You too,” he said. “I hope to see more of you.” 

—---------------------------------

A couple of months later, you were cursing Lando for saying that. You had been promoted, and with the new job came new responsibilities, such as managing the sponsors at races. Stepping into the paddock early that Sunday morning, you were greeted by Land,o who had arrived at the same time. 

“Y/n!” He said cheerfully. “Congrats on the promotion.”

“Thanks, Lando,” you sai,d smiling, falling into step with him as you both headed towards the garage. Oscar was already there, talking to another driver you recognized as Franco Colapinto. 

“Hey Franco,” Lando called out. “Have you met y/n?”

Franco turned at the sound of Lando’s voice, flashing a charming smile as his gaze landed on you. “I haven’t had the pleasure,” he said smoothly, extending a hand. “Franco Colapinto.”

You shook his hand, offering a polite smile. “Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” Franco said, holding your hand a beat longer than necessary. “I don’t know how I missed meeting someone like you before now. McLaren’s lucky to have you.”

Oscar’s jaw visibly tightened from his spot nearby, and he took a step closer, crossing his arms as he observed the scene.

You tilted your head slightly, playing along with Franco’s flirtatious tone just enough to annoy Oscar. “I’m just doing my job, but thanks.”

“Doing it exceptionally well, I’m sure,” Franco replied with a grin. “If you ever get bored working with these guys, let me know. I’m sure my team could use someone with your... expertise.”

Lando let out a low whistle, clearly amused by the unfolding drama. “Careful, Franco. You’re laying it on thick.”

“I’m just being honest,” Franco said with an unapologetic shrug, his eyes never leaving yours.

Oscar finally decided to intervene, his voice cutting through the conversation like a blade. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on your race prep, Franco? Or is flirting your new warm-up routine?”

Franco glanced at Oscar, raising an eyebrow. “Relax, mate. Just being friendly.”

Oscar’s glare hardened. “She doesn’t need your ‘friendly.’ She’s here to work, not entertain your distractions.”

You raised an eyebrow, shooting Oscar a sharp look. “I can handle myself, thanks. No need to play bodyguard.”

Franco smirked, clearly enjoying the tension. “Seems like someone’s a little territorial.”

Oscar’s nostrils flared as he took a step closer, his tone laced with irritation. “I’m not territorial. I just don’t think she needs you wasting her time.”

“Oh, but she’s fine with you wasting her time?” Franco shot back, clearly relishing in provoking Oscar.

“Okay,” you interrupted, holding up a hand. “This is officially ridiculous. Franco, it was nice meeting you. Lando, I’ll see you later.”

You turned on your heel and walked further in the McLaren garage, leaving all three men staring after you—Franco amused, Lando bewildered, and Oscar frustrated. The latter’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, a storm brewing in his eyes as he watched you disappear into the distance. Franco bid both men goodbye, and Lando turned to Oscar with an amused look on his face. 

“Gonna tell me what that was about?” He teased, and Oscar shot him the finger, moving towards his side of the garage. 

After the race, you lingered around hospitality, saying your final goodbyes to sponsored guests before gathering your stuff to head back to the hotel. You just came out of the room when you ran, face first into Oscar. His hands came out to steady you, and you were about to thank him until you realized who it was. 

“Excuse me,” you mumbled, trying to get past him, but his grip on your waist tightened. 

“Can we talk?” He aske,d and you were caught off guard.

“About what?” You asked. “How you were about to rip Franco’s head off this morning for talking to me?”

He rolled his eyes, his calm demeanor fading away. 

"I wasn't going to rip his head off," Oscar muttered, releasing his grip on your waist but not stepping back. "I just didn't like how he was talking to you."

You crossed your arms, eyebrow raised. "And how exactly was he talking to me?"

"Like you were some prize to be won," Oscar said, frustration evident in his voice. "Like you were just there for his entertainment."

"As opposed to how you talk to me?" You shot back. "Like I'm some nuisance you have to deal with?"

Oscar's eyes widened slightly, a flash of hurt crossing his features before he masked it. "That's not... I don't think of you like that."

"Could've fooled me," you said, your voice softer now. "Look, Oscar, we don't have to do this. We can just be professional and cordial. No need to rehash old drama.” 

“If that’s what you want,” he said slowly, and you nodded, shifting to move past him. 

“It is, I’ll see you later.” 

—------------------------------------------------

Brazil

You hated the rain. Well, you didn’t always hate it, but it had rained the day your dad died, so you had hated it ever since. It was the world weepin,g and the memory of you doing the same was still fresh. 

“Are you okay?” Lando asked, catching you staring off in the distance at the front of the garage. It was an hour before qualifying was supposed to happen, and you felt yourself start to slip out of reality. You didn’t say anything, so Lando moved closer, pulling your shoulder so you could face him. His eyes widened, seeing yours full of tears, but you were quick to turn back away. 

“I’m fine,” you said firmly. He started to say something again, but the look you gave him felt like a shot to the heart; you looked so sad, and he didn’t know what to do. You only repeated yourself, “I’m fine.” 

You weren’t fine. You knew you were starting to spiral. The first time it happened, it surprised you. You didn’t consider yourself an emotional person, but something about the rain now made you panic. 

Lando left you and headed straight towards Oscar’s driver's room. Someone on the way told him that qualifying had been pushed to tomorrow, but he didn’t stop his stride. Banging open the door, Oscar looked up, surprised at his teammate’s panic. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

“Something is wrong with y/n,” he said breathlessly. Oscar’s brows furrowed. 

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“I noticed her earlier, just standing and staring out at the rain on the track for literally 15 minutes,” Lando said. “Didn’t move an inch. I went up to her and could tell she was very close to losing it.”

“Did she say anything?” Oscar asked, already standing up and heading towards the door. Despite their current relationship, he knew you very well. He could count the number of times he had seen you cry on one hand. 

Lando shook his head. "No, she just kept saying she was fine, but her eyes... Oscar, I've never seen someone look so sad."

Oscar's jaw clenched as he strode out of the room, Lando hurrying to keep up. They made their way through the garage, scanning for you. Oscar spotted you first, still standing motionless at the front of the garage, staring out at the rain-soaked track.

He approached you cautiously, coming to stand beside you. "Y/n?" he said softly.

You didn't respond, didn't even blink. Oscar glanced back at Lando, who gave him an encouraging nod.

"Y/n, can you hear me?" Oscar tried again, gently placing a hand on your shoulder.

The touch seemed to snap you out of your trance. You flinched, turning to look at him, and the second your eyes met his, you crumpled. He quickly pulled you into his arms as you sobbed, his arm rubbing your back. 

“It’s okay, baby,” he soothed, falling back to your old pet name. “I’m here.” 

You gripped his shirt tightly, trying to calm down, and your sobs soon turned to hiccups. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble,d trying to pull away but Oscar didn’t let you, keeping you tight against his body. You rested your cheek against his chest as his hand came up to your head, tangled in your hair. Oscar nodded to Lando to tell him that it was okay and Lando disappeared, leaving the two of you alone. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked. 

“No,” you whispered. “Can we go back to the hotel?”

“Of course,” he said, finally letting you go. He collected your stuff and gripped your hand tightly, leading you to where he had a car waiting. The traffic was insane outside the track; the number of people leaving and the weather was a bad mix. The sound of the rain against the windows made your heart start to race again, so without a second thought, you unbuckled your seatbelt and crawled into Oscar’s lap. 

His arms wrapped around you as you snuggled into the crook of his neck. Neither of you said anything for the rest of the ride, and you had calmed down by the time the car pulled up to the hotel. Sliding off his lap, you got out of the car and headed into the hotel, him right behind you. He didn’t want to overstep, but he did not want to leave you alone, so he lingered awkwardly beside you in the elevator. 

“Are you on the same floor as me?” You asked, noticing he hadn’t hit another number. 

“No,” he said, and you nodded, silently giving him the green light. 

You felt like a shell of yourself when you made it to your room, peeling off your wet outer layers while Oscar kicked off his shoes. 

“Let me draw you a bath,” he offered, and you didn’t answer, but he was already moving into the bathroom and turning on the water. 

You stared out the window, shivering, and that’s where he found you minutes later. 

“Come on, baby,” he whispered, gently pulling you towards the bathroom. You followed him wordlessly and let him help remove your clothes, not flinching under his gaze. He’d seen it all before anyway. You stepped into the bath, and he sat next to the tub, watching you as you closed your eyes and leaned back. 

“It was raining when he died,” you said, breaking the silence. “Now, anytime I hear the noise, it’s all I can think about.” 

“I’m sorry, y/n,” he murmured from beside you. 

You took a deep breath, the warm water soothing your nerves. "It was just over a year ago. He was driving home from work, and... a drunk driver hit him. It was pouring rain that day."

Oscar's hand found yours, gripping it gently. "I'm so sorry, y/n. I had no idea."

"How could you?" you said, a sad smile on your face. "We weren't exactly on speaking terms."

A flash of regret crossed Oscar's features. "I should have been there for you."

You shook your head. "It's not your fault. We both said things we didn't mean."

Oscar was quiet for a moment, his thumb tracing circles on your skin. 

“You got your wish, though,” he admitted softly and you looked over at him, confusion in your eyes. 

“About what?”

“I got everything I always dreamed of,” he started. “But I’ve had no one to share it with.” 

“You have Lando and Alex,” you said softly, and he gave you a small smile. 

“It’s not the same,” he said. “Are you ready?” 

He didn’t give you a chance to answer, standing up to grab a towel from nearby. You stood up, letting him wrap it around you and helping you step out of the tub. 

Oscar’s hands lingered at your shoulders as he steadied you, the towel snug around your body. His eyes searched yours, a mixture of guilt and longing in their depths. You could tell he wanted to say something else but hesitated, unsure if this was the right moment.

“Thank you,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“For what?” he asked, his brows furrowed.

“For being here,” you replied, your hand brushing against his as you tightened the towel around yourself. “I didn’t know how much I needed it.”

Oscar let out a small, relieved laugh, shaking his head. “You don’t have to thank me, y/n. I’ll always be here. Even if I don’t always know how to show it.”

You nodded, the warmth of his words spreading through you like the bathwater had. It was the first time in a long while you felt truly seen.

“Come on,” he said, tilting his head toward the bedroom. “Let’s get you comfortable.”

He helped you into one of his oversized hoodies, the fabric soft and smelling faintly of him. It felt like a hug, like safety. You settled onto the bed, pulling your knees up to your chest as Oscar perched at the edge, watching you closely.

“Can I stay tonight?” he asked tentatively, his voice careful, like he didn’t want to overstep.

You nodded without hesitation. “Please.”

He moved to the other side of the bed, slipping off his shirt and grabbing the blanket to drape over both of you. The rain was still falling outside, but the sound didn’t feel as suffocating with Oscar beside you. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you close, and you let yourself lean into him.

As you lay there, Oscar's arm around you, the steady rhythm of his breathing began to lull you into a sense of calm. The rain outside seemed less threatening now, more of a gentle backdrop to the quiet moment you were sharing.

"I've missed this," you whispered, barely audible. "Being close to you like this."

Oscar's arm tightened slightly around you. "Me too," he admitted softly. "More than I realized."

You turned in his embrace to face him, your eyes meeting his in the dim light of the room. There was so much left unsaid between you, years of hurt and misunderstanding, but in this moment, none of that seemed to matter.

"Oscar," you started, your voice trembling slightly. "I'm sorry for what I said that day. About hoping you'd be alone. I didn't mean it."

He shook his head, his hand coming up to your cheek. 

“I deserved it,” he said. “I was so caught up in the excitement that I didn’t consider your feelings. I was miserable that first year without you, more than I’d like to admit. This world can be so lonely, but I had too much pride to come crawling back to you.” 

“I wouldn’t have taken you back anyways,” you said honestly. 

“Would you now?” He asked quietly. “Take me back?” 

You looked at him, his eyes looking deep into your own, and thought about it. 

“Maybe,” you said finally. “But you’d have to work for it.”

“Trust me, I will,” he said, pressing his lips against your forehead. 

He didn't feel alone for the first time in what felt like forever. And as you closed your eyes, exhaustion finally catching up with you, you realized that maybe people were right when they said you’d always find your way back to people you loved. 

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

Toto's obsession p.9

Hey guyss, I hope you enjoy this part and if you've missed part 8 or if you want to read it from the beginning here's my masterlist :)

The tension from the paddock still lingered as you and Toto returned to the motorhome. Toto’s arm was firmly around your waist, his protective demeanor more evident than ever. As soon as the door closed behind you, he turned to you, concern etched across his face.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes scanning yours for any sign of discomfort. Before you could answer, his tone grew firmer. "Those paparazzi had no right to corner you like that. I'm going to make sure they’re fired."

You placed a calming hand on his chest, looking up at him softly. "Toto, let it go. They were just doing their job."

His jaw tightened, but he sighed, clearly trying to rein in his frustration. "They crossed the line. But if that’s what you want, fine."

Before the conversation could continue, there was a knock at the door. The team’s social media manager stepped in, looking hesitant but determined. "I hate to interrupt," she began, "but the news about your engagement is already online. It’s everywhere. I need to know if you want to release a statement."

Toto’s expression darkened, but he didn’t let go of you. Instead, he addressed the manager directly. "Our relationship is private, and it will stay that way," he said firmly. "There’s no need for a statement."

The manager nodded, understanding the finality in his tone, and quickly excused herself. Once the door closed, Toto turned back to you, his hands cupping your face gently. "I’m going to handle this," he assured you before leaning down to kiss you deeply. His kiss was grounding, a reminder that no matter what happened, you were in this together.

"I know you will," you whispered, feeling the weight of the situation but trusting him implicitly.

After a few moments, you decided to step out to find George. He had been distant ever since the dinner, and you knew the news breaking wouldn’t help matters. You found him leaning against a wall outside the garage, his arms crossed and his expression guarded.

"Hey," you greeted softly, walking up to him. He glanced at you, his stance stiff but his eyes betraying a flicker of warmth.

"Hey," he replied, though his tone was hesitant. "I heard the news is out."

You nodded, sighing. "Yeah, it is."

He studied you for a moment before speaking again. "How do you feel about it?"

You hesitated, unsure of how to put your emotions into words. "Overwhelmed," you admitted. "It’s a lot to process."

George’s expression softened slightly, but he still looked conflicted. "You know," he began carefully, "you don’t have to go through with it if you don’t want to. Just because things have gone this far doesn’t mean you’re trapped."

His words surprised you, but you shook your head firmly. "That’s not it, George. I love Toto."

George frowned, clearly struggling to accept your answer. "I don’t understand how you can trust him so completely. He’s—he’s not like us. He’s controlling, and I’m worried he’s going to hurt you."

"He’s not like that," you countered gently but firmly. "Toto takes care of me. He makes me feel safe."

George shook his head, frustration evident in his posture. "You deserve someone who doesn’t make you feel like you have to choose between him and your family."

"George, I’m not choosing," you said, your voice tinged with sadness. "I want you to be part of this, part of my life with him."

Before George could respond, a familiar voice interrupted. "Can I have a word with George?" Toto’s tone was calm, but there was an undeniable authority in it. You turned to see him standing there, his gaze focused on your brother.

You glanced between the two of them, sensing the tension. Toto’s eyes softened when they met yours. "It’s about work," he added, his tone gentler. "Can you wait outside for a moment?"

Reluctantly, you nodded and stepped out, leaving the two men to talk. Even though you trusted Toto, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of unease. Whatever they were about to discuss, you just hoped it wouldn’t drive a deeper wedge between you and George.

From Toto’s point of view, he watched you leave, his heart tightening at the sight of your worried expression. As soon as the door closed behind you, his demeanor shifted. His calm exterior remained, but there was a steely edge to his gaze as he turned to George.

"You need to stop interfering," Toto began, his voice low and measured. "Your sister is an adult, capable of making her own choices."

George squared his shoulders, his own frustration boiling over. "She’s my sister, and I’m not going to stand by while you manipulate her."

Toto let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. "Manipulate? Is that what you think this is? George, she loves me, and I love her."

George’s jaw tightened. "She doesn’t see what you’re doing. You’re isolating her. She’s already losing her family because of you."

Toto stepped closer, his height and presence dominating the space. "Careful, George. You’re treading on dangerous ground. I’ve been patient with you because you are important to her, but my patience has limits."

George glared at him, but Toto continued, his voice dropping even lower. "You should know that I’ve been considering some changes to the team with Kimi joining us next season."

George’s eyes widened, his anger faltering for a moment. "You wouldn’t."

Toto’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. "Don’t test me. I value your talent, but no one is irreplaceable. If you want to keep your position here, I suggest you stop trying to sabotage my relationship."

George clenched his fists, but Toto didn’t back down. "Your sister means everything to me. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her and our relationship."

With that, Toto turned and walked to the door, his expression neutral as he opened it to let you back in. Seeing your concerned face, his demeanor softened immediately. "Everything is sorted," he said, offering you a reassuring smile.

You glanced between them, unsure of what had transpired but relieved that the tension seemed to have lessened. "Are you sure?"

Toto nodded, wrapping an arm around your waist. "Positive. Now, let’s not worry about anything else tonight."

[teeth-farie]

Restroom Rendezvous

Wade Wilson (Deadpool)/Reader

…: I’m back from the dead! I can’t guarantee that I’ll post often, but I at least wanted to share something I wrote. Deadpool has been my hyperfixation since I saw DP&W last summer, so this is set right after that. Thanks for reading!

~~

Wade totally wasn’t caught up on Vanessa’s rejection, not at all. Things don’t work out sometimes, and that was fine, really, it was. She let him down easy, he was thankful for that, at the very least. People change. She had and so had he. They simply weren’t what each other needed anymore. 

It hit him bitterly, that he can admit. He spent many long nights drowning his sorrows in ice cream cartons and reruns of the great British bake off, and a couple nights actually drowning himself in the bathtub. It was a rough period, but life goes on. 

He’s since come to terms that romance just isn’t in the cards for him, not when most people ended up nauseous after a first impression. However, that wouldn’t stop him from living vicariously through Logan’s love life. 

He’d put up a good fight so far, but Wade would be damned if he let all that go to waste because The Wolverine doesn’t know how to flirt with this universe's population. Seriously, he’s never seen someone be so politically incorrect and over correct in his life. 

It all leads them to a seedy little bar, but one with enough charm to know you probably won’t be getting an std. Probably.

He has to tug Logan away from the bar and to the pool table before he can get too shitfaced, sighing in exasperation. 

“It’s like you don’t even want to find anyone.”

“You said I’d be getting laid, not that I’d fall in love.”

“Oh, but don’t you just love the trope of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers?”

Logan snorts a puff of air from his nose as he grabs a pool stick and rubs the little thing of blue chalk on the end of it.  

Wade turns to scope the bar population, leaning up against the edge of the pool table as Logan lined up pole tip to white ball, cradled by his fingers. 

“At first I was like, ‘let him have some time, he’s new to this universe’, but now I’m like, ‘fuck it, he’s had enough time!’,” Wade begins, the sounds of pool balls clacking making him roll his eyes. 

“See, that’s exactly it! I took you here to mingle and now you’re huddled away playing fucking pool. Alone. You aren’t even playing with anyone.”

Clack. Roll. 

“I didn’t even think you could play pool alone, it seems like a very obvious two player game, but you do know best,” 

Clack. Thunk!

“OW!!” Wade turns dramatically, hand on his ass to face the other man with a look of betrayal. 

“Did you just hit my ass with a pool ball?”

“Shouldn’t be sittin’ on the table there then, bub.”

Wade frowns and Logan chuckles to himself, jaw flexing with his hidden grin. 

“You’re gonna make me do the work for you, huh? You big baby. You big 5’3 baby.”

SNIKT!

“YEESH, don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m leavin!”

There’s that saying of ‘there’s always more fish in the sea’, but the fish out here look a little too dead eyed for his tastes. Well, Logie’s tastes. 

Just when he’s about to call it quits, he spots you (Duh, you know what you came here for). 

There’s nothing outright that he can pinpoint that draws him to you. Maybe it’s the way you dress, or the way you hold yourself, but something about you makes him feel just about as giddy as a kid in a candy shop. Part of him wonders if maybe he could snatch you for himself. 

Checking his breath in a cupped hand, he winces and shrugs. It’s not like the rest of him was all that better. 

Wade leans up against the bar next to you, dark hoodie shadowing his mottled face under the overhead lights. His smile still gleams, crooked lower teeth and blistered gums. 

“You’ve been looking over at me and my friend a lot, I noticed it.”

“Ah, guilty as charged.” You respond, a split smile, beer on your breath. “I’m sorry though, if it made you uncomfortable.”

“No! No no, the opposite, actually,” he sits down on the barstool, leaning on his elbows against the sticky countertop. “See, my friend over there,” he points over his shoulder, voice suddenly low and conspirative.

 You follow the point of his thumb to his friend, thick and burly, bent over the edge of the pool table to line up another shot. Truly a magnificent specimen, but your eyes don’t seem to be on that prize. 

“I’ve been trying to set him up for ages now, and between you and me, he thinks you’re real cute.”

“He does, does he?” 

“Oh yeah, super cute. He might seem like an asshole, but he’s a real softie at the center, all gooey and shit.”

“Mhm,”

“Ok, ok, I see I’m losing you a bit- but what’s the harm? Come on over, just don’t say I brought you over here.”

You sigh, resting your cheek on your palm, and he can’t help but feel a little scrutinized under your gaze. 

“You know, it wasn’t him I was staring at.”

“I…oh, pfft, yeah, this whole thing,” he gestures to his face, scarred and tumored flesh pulled taut and tender. “Wanted a ticket to the freak show?”

“No, not like that,” you say quickly, a little hot in embarrassment. “I meant, I think you’re…cute.”

Wade almost balks at you, silent before scoffing. “Cute? Pardon my French, but are you fucking blind?”

You laugh, and you’re a little worried that you probably shouldn't have. “Listen…”

“Wilson. Wade Wilson. Did that sound cool?”

“Wade,” you say, and the way you say it makes him feel all tingly at the base of his spine. “You seem like you really love your friend.”

“Totally! We’re BFF’s, best friends forever, we’ve got the matching necklaces, too.” He tugs on the thin chain dangled around his neck, a half heart charm jingling underneath his hoodie. 

You’re resting your hand on his thigh, a deliberate movement that makes his fingers twitch a little, necklace falling back under his shirt. You lick your lips a little, and he’s back under your spell.

“Wouldn’t your friend want you to…have a little fun?”

His mouth falls open to say something, then closes, then opens again. “F..fun? I like fun, what kinda fun are we talking about?”

Your head leans back with a laugh at his flustering, hand squeezing his thigh just a little tighter. He shifts in his seat and you notice it, of course you do. 

“The kind of fun where you follow me into the bathrooms and I,” you stop, fingers inching up just a little bit higher on his thigh, just shy of bumping this fic rating from mature up to explicit. “Well,” you sigh out, and move your hand away entirely. “I wouldn’t want to give it away, not when you can come see for yourself.”

“Yes,” he strains, leaning up in his seat like he was ready to jump you right then and there. “I want that, I wanna have some fun with you—if, if you still want it?”

“Honey, I’ve been groping you for the last minute, of course I still want to.”

“Right! Right, right, right,”

“Leave a bit of distance, don’t make it so obvious,” you say to him, getting up from your seat and nodding towards the bathrooms with a wink before you leave. 

Wade’s heart pounds in his ears almost louder than the bar's music. Surprisingly jazzy, they probably came on a themed night. In ways, he thinks his heart might be singing too. 

He looks over to Logan, finding him still at that damn table. At least this time it looks like someone’s joined him, or he hopes so. He really wants to be following you right now. 

Then, with a skittish bit of flair, Wade slinks away into the crowd. 

—

Wade’s tarnished skin feels impossibly hot when your mouth makes contact, lips and tongue over the length of his jugular. His hands wander, catching on your clothing, rumpling the fabric under his grip. Yeah, this fic is getting rated explicit. 

“This is fucked,” he huffs, head lolling back against the bathroom stall. You make a questioning sound against his neck and his whole body shivers. “S’posed to be hooking you up with Lo’, not…not…” you’ve found the tender little spot below his ear as he speaks, blunt teeth pressing firm and he hates how reactive he is to it. 

“God, you’re not playing fair, this isn’t fair,” he wheedles, tugging on your clothes. 

You laugh and wiggle your leg between his, hip pressing against his groin, and you’re pleased to find him half chubbed already. “If I were fair, I’d be talking to your friend right now instead of kissing a cutie in the bathroom.”

“I’m- am I the cutie?”

“Yes, you’re the cutie.”

You’re mouthing lower and Wade is sure his heart is going to burst from his chest Alien style. Your teeth catch on the chain of his necklace, a touch of your tongue against his skin and you tug, breathing out a laugh when he whimpers. 

“That shouldn’t have been so hot,”

“But aren’t you glad it was?” 

You’re only stopped by the neckline of his hoodie, lavishing your mouth over the exposed skin of his throat. He’s breathing heavy, Adam’s apple bobbing beneath your teeth. 

He’d never thought anyone would want to be close to his cancer riddled skin, let alone kiss. The scabbing and sores of his skin don’t bother you, you devour him all the same. 

Just as he thinks it can’t get any better, he feels your fingers tug on the waistband of his jeans. 

“Is this ok?” You’re asking, all soft and hushed, like you haven’t unraveled him at the very seams. 

“Uh,” he stammers like an idiot, flushed red and sweating. “Yes, yes, it’s ok, it’s more than ok, actually! I’d really uh, it’d be totally cool, totally consensual—“

You cut him off with a kiss, fumbling with his buttons and pulling down the zipper with a huff puffed from your nose. 

His pants shuck down easily enough, caught around his thighs while your hand finds his erection. The first touch is like bliss, your fingers wrapping around his mottled cock and tugging, toying with the foreskin around the tender head. 

You make a pleased sound, reverberating into his mouth as you give him a testing squeeze, his hips canting forward. 

It feels better than he anticipated, much better, though he supposes it’s due to only having his right (and left) hand for a while. 

“No undies, huh?” You’re laughing, a sickly sweet sound that makes his knees feel weak. “And here I thought you were just trying to set your friend up. Were you hoping for this all along?”

He shakes his head, though it’s more like a frantic twitch. “Huuh, nuh-uh,” 

“No? I think you did,” his cock weeps enough to make the slide of your fist easy, the soft palm of your hand so much better than his own blistered one. “I think you were hoping I’d pick you, that I’d come kiss you all better, make you feel good.”

“Please,” is all he can muster, nosing against your head with a pitiful sound. 

“Oh, you poor thing,” you croon, letting go of his cock to put your cupped palm below his chin, expectant. “Come on, get it wet for me, Wade.”

It’s all but purred, the way you say it. Like butter and cotton candy had a baby and it was your voice. And he’s obeying, gathering the saliva in his mouth and spitting it into your palm, flushed red hot and wanting. 

“Good boy,” you whisper and he thinks he’s in love. 

Your wet hand is grabbing his cock again, slick and dripping. 

“Tell me what you like, cutie.”

“Tighter? Oof- not that tight, j-just kinda- ohhh,”

His body feels like it’s blooming, warmth flooding into his nerves different from the anxious, hormonal flush of his blood. He sucks his lip in between his teeth, eyes rolling when the web of your finger and thumb catch on the head.  

“Now that’s a pretty expression,” up and down, up and down, wet and messy. “I think it’s cool, how your dick is like the rest of you. Nice on the hands…” you thumb over the uneven skin, thumb pressing against the more tender and raw flesh, pulsing with his heartbeat. 

“Oh, ha..haha, r-ribbed for your pleasure, amiright?”

“Oh, Wade…” your tongue slides across the shell of his ear, saccharine voice a heady whisper. “I’m not the one that’s gonna be bent over.” 

“Oh my god,” he wheezes, hands shooting up to cover his face in near comedic embarrassment. 

You laugh in his ear and it sounds utterly mocking, your voice trailing off into a sigh of a moan (which isn’t helping him in the slightest- or it is, and that’s why he’s suffering).

“God, you’re wet, I don’t think I even needed you to spit at all.” You thumb over the head, a back and forth rub that gets your fingertips sticky with his pre. “Look at that, like a fucking garden hose.”

Wade huffs loudly through his hands, spreading his fingers to peek out, pupils dilated under the milky sheen of his eyes. “Don’t stop,” it comes out strained and weak when he says it. “K-keep talking, I need- I-I—“ 

His hips jerk in aborted thrusts, biting on his own tongue when his teeth clench. He whimpers, and you kiss him better, tongue against tongue. 

“Close,” he still tries to whimper anyway, his balls drawing up to his body in anticipation, the building of his orgasm festering in his gut. 

“Close? Alright, alright,” you start to shuffle him forward and he makes an indignant sound when he’s pulled away from your mouth. “Aw, don’t look at me like that, I’m just trying to avoid getting a stain on my clothes.”

You position him over the toilet and he grabs at the tank of it, your hand wrapping around him from behind and pointing his cock down to the bowl. It’s not the first time he's jerked off over a toilet, but this time is definitely more enjoyable. 

“There you go,” he can hear the smile in your voice, feel your hands wrapped tight around him. It makes him feel kinda jelly inside, soft and jiggly and vulnerable. 

He finds himself holding onto the hand on his stomach, your other making quick work of his erection, pumping quickly to push him right back to the edge again. 

“C-can you,” he swallows, tries to catch his bearings. 

“Can I what, sweetheart?” 

It only makes him whine, a gutteral noise from the back of his throat. “Say I’m good,”

“Ha, you want to be a good boy? Want me to call you that?”

“Please,” really, it’s all he wants. At least in the moment. Or maybe after too, think about the way he made you happy and apply that to himself so he doesn’t seem like that much of a fuck up anymore. 

You don’t notice his inner quarrels, of course you don’t, but you still squeeze his hand back, dig your thumb into just the right spots with your other to make him push back against you. It’s enough to tip him over from the edge where he teetered, down into the fallen abyss or whatever poetic shit his mind could conjure. 

You keep his cock aimed and he spills into the toilet, shuddering with the force of it. It’s the deep rooted kind of orgasm, the kind that makes your eyes roll and bones go gelatinous. Yeah, that kind. It’s honestly the best orgasm he’s had in months, he thinks he could actually cry. 

No, scratch that, it’s not hot to cry after sex, even if it’s a bathroom handy. 

He feels your hand move up and down against his stomach, petting him, such a soft action that he does sniffle a little. 

“Good boy,” you say to him, tender, kind. 

Oh boy, here comes the waterworks. 

—

Wade would have been an idiot not to have grabbed your number after that night. Actually, it’s more like you grabbed his phone and put your number in yourself, which made him fall just ever a little bit more in love. 

It’s scary, he thinks, to try again after so much heartbreak. Vanessa would always be his friend, even if at one point, he had still wished it to be more. Actually, he thinks she might be proud of him for making another new friend, and that thought does make him feel warm inside. 

He meets you today at a cute little coffee shop for a technical first date after the restroom rendezvous (which he’s still surprised got no knocks on the door, thanks author).

It’s cliche, sickeningly so, but it’s so healing to his mangled up little heart that he’s damn well bringing a bouquet with him, too.

He knows it’s your favorite spot, not because you told him, but because he did some light stalking on his own. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with doing a little research! He had to make sure you weren’t an ax murderer or something (which would have just been another score in his book). 

He watches you from the window of the shop for a minute, a certain type of nervousness gnawing in his chest, more so than he felt with you before. Maybe it’s because this time it’s more than just a mindless fling. Maybe he just really likes you. 

You catch him when you look up from your phone, giving him a wave through the window and he gathers himself up once more, and pushes open the door. 

[grudgecollector]

Afterglow | Nam-gyu / American!Reader

You're reading part two Story Summary: Nam-gyu gets a new job and finds himself falling for the girl behind the deli counter.

Words: 2.1k

Tags/Warnings: canon divergence, Thanos lives, fluff, these people are down BAD. Slightly proof read

A/N: Can you tell that I have a hand kink based on how many times I mention his?

I want him CARNALLY . Like step back... let me take a bite.

PART ONE | PART THREE | MASTERLIST

“Come on…” Su-bong groaned through the phone, “Why can’t you get groceries? You literally work at a grocery store.” 

Nam-gyu rolled his eyes as he made his way towards the sliding doors, already fishing for his vape in his pocket. He’s had that craving feeling deep in his stomach for the past hour, steadily awaiting his break. 

He bit the inside of his lip, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear “Because I’ll be working until five, and I don’t feel like being in this store longer than I have to be.” 

Su-bong sighed dramatically, and Nam-gyu could hear the thrashing of his bed sheets making the man chuckle quietly. 

He found a place to sit against the wall outside, plopping himself down on the ground and putting his phone on speaker. He closed his eyes for just a second as he listened to Su-bong’s string of complaints filter through the speaker, excuses as to why he couldn’t do it tonight. 

“I have plans though…” He practically whined to his friend. 

If it had been after the games Nam-gyu would have caved so much faster, listening to the great Thanos’ no matter the cost. But after actually getting to know the former rapper, Nam-gyu came to realize that they were much more similar than he previously assumed. Both lost in their own pathetic lives, unable to move from the places they’ve got themselves wedged into. 

Su-bong no longer had a pedestal to put himself on, especially not in America where he was practically unknown. 

“Don’t be such a lazy bastard.” Nam-gyu said to him finally, exhaling the smoke from his lungs. “I’ll do the shopping next time, I just don’t feel like it today.” 

Whatever reply Su-bong gave him was drowned out the second Nam-gyu opened his eyes, that girl… The one he ran into a few days ago. He had noticed her quite a bit since their first interaction, his eyes occasionally lingering on her when he was near her department.

To the point where he would even come by to get food, hoping that she would be the one handing it to him. 

“Oh shit, dude.” Nam-gyu talked over his friend suddenly, talking quietly in Korean “That girl just walked out here.” 

“The cute one you’ve been talking about?” Su-bong replied in a teasing whisper, releasing a faux giggle, “Oh man I bet you’re blushing, aren’t you?” 

“Shut the fuck up!” He hissed back in response, “You are so annoying.” Nam-gyu’s hands went up to his cheeks, feeling that they were a little warmer than usual. 

Su-bong laughed loudly, “Oh shiiiit dude, this is so cute! Little Nam-gyu has a crush!” 

“Yeah you’re getting groceries today, dick. Goodbye.” Nam-gyu hung up on Su-bong before he could think of replying. 

~~~

You sat just a few feet away from him… That guy… 

He seemed so stone cold and serious most of the time. Especially when he’s walking around the store. His expression is unmoving, almost bored. He almost reminded you of one of those mysterious kinds of people that draw you in. 

It took you off guard when he came up to the hot bar one day, there was a small smile playing on his lips as he asked about the different things you had to offer. He swayed back and forth a little, his hand coming up to rest against his cheek as he tried to make up his mind. 

You couldn’t help but stare at him a little, admiring the way he pursed his lips for a second before simply asking for two chicken tenders. The way he looked back up at you made your heart stutter in your chest a little, he was actually really cute.

Every now and then you would see him around. Either coming up to your counter asking for the items your coworker had cut for the personal shoppers. Or coming to get food, asking your opinions on certain things before ordering the same thing he always got. 

“Has it been busy out there?” You asked him yesterday, looking out towards the shopping floor full of customers. It was getting closer to the Super Bowl.

“Yeah, I almost accidentally ran over someone’s kid earlier.” Nam-gyu, as you had learned by glancing down at his name tag, replied with a chuckle. 

You laughed along with him, “Holy shit, I don’t doubt it, man. These people just let their kids run around like crazy. I don’t understand it.” 

Now you sat just a few feet away from him, nervous. You always found it so much easier to talk to people when you were behind the counter, as that was your job.

But strangers, especially attractive ones, were always so hard to talk to when that shield was taken from you.

God having a crush at this age is so embarrassing… 

“Busy today?” Nam-gyu asked suddenly, snapping you out of your thoughts, making you feel a little more flustered. 

“Hm?” You hum, looking up from your phone to him. He had turned his whole body towards you, legs crossed and a vape lazily grasped in his fingers as he took a hit from it. 

“Has it been busy today?” He asked again, exhaling through the side of his mouth, “In your area?” 

“Oh! Yeah, it’s been busy as fuck.” You try to respond as casually as possible, with his eyes boring into you like that. 

~~~

Oh god was he staring? 

Nam-gyu blinked a few times before looking back down on his phone, five more minutes left on his break. He skimmed over the text Su-bong had sent him, making him roll his eyes before glancing back up at you.

Your pretty eyes met his, making his heart flutter in his chest just a little. 

God he felt like a kid with a crush, what was wrong with him? 

He had no idea what to even do to strike up a conversation anymore, he used to be decently okay at talking to people he didn't know, but now words evaded him. His brain almost felt like it was shutting down on itself, any sentence he could think of quickly going blank. 

“So do you like it over here? In this store?” You finally ask, breaking the awkward battle going on inside Nam-gyu. 

“It’s been okay so far, boring... But it’s money.” He replied simply, leaning his shoulder against the brick wall. “What about you? How long have you been here?”

“I’ve been here too long. Two years." You let out a sigh, "it wouldn’t be so bad if there wasn’t so much drama.” you shook your head a little bit at the mere thought. 

That word sparked some intrigue. Nam-gyu was always one for drama, finding it absolutely fascinating and hilarious. It was probably why he was so hooked on the reality shows Su-bong showed him, the drama never failed to entertain him. 

“Drama, huh?” He raised a brow.

You couldn’t help but smile a little, “Oh yeah, it’s ridiculous. Sometimes it’s really childish, but other times it’s crazy shit like cheating scandals, managers dating their employees, all that kind of stuff.” You started to stand up from where you were sitting, checking your phone, “You’ll see what I mean eventually.” 

Nam-gyu watched you walk away, his eyes not leaving your form until you disappeared around the corner. God he was honestly pathetic. 

~~~

Over the next few weeks you were able to get to know Nam-gyu a little more, his breaks syncing up with yours most of the time. You both exchanged stories about your childhood, school life, your time in your home countries. He seemed to skip around some topics sometimes, but you didn’t pry, knowing it was none of your business. 

Each day that passed he seemed to sit closer to you, his gaze getting a little bit softer each day. He almost seemed more relaxed in your presence, which you chalked up to overthinking. But eventually it got to the point where he was sitting right in front of you, your knees almost brushing together as you shared his vape. 

You could feel your face heat up just from sitting so closely to him. Listening to the videos play off your phone as you scrolled through tiktok, finding it hard to pay attention after you felt his hand brush against your leg briefly. 

Has he always smelled this good? Or did he just start wearing cologne?

“Do you want to go sit in my car? It’s a little cold out here.” He asked suddenly, noticing the way you shivered each time the wind blew. 

“Sure.” You nod. 

You didn’t even fully register what he had said, not with him looking at you like that. His ringed fingers toying with his smiling lips so softly. 

The walk to his car wasn’t long, he parked near the trees where most of the employees usually parked. A nicely shaded area during the summer, but much colder during the winter. You just hoped his heating worked better than yours did. 

Nam-gyu opened the drivers side and slid inside quickly, pressing the button to start the car the second his door was closed. You got in after him, closing your door and tucking your hands inside the sleeves of your jacket, and you noticed he had done the same. 

The tips of his fingers barely poked out the top as he scrolled through spotify. Clicking on a playlist and pressing play, the music was quiet enough and even quieter under the blast of air coming from the air vents as Nam-gyu turned it on and over to heat. 

Almost as if instinctively, he grabbed your hands, rubbing both of his against yours in an attempt to warm the both of you up a little quicker. 

You could feel your face getting hot again. 

“Better?” Nam-gyu asked, not taking his hands off yours just yet. 

“Yeah, thank you.” You smile, staring into his eyes for a second longer than you should. 

~~~

Nam-gyu couldn’t take his eyes off of you, he felt stuck in place. A warmth spreading across his face, his lips parting and before he could even register it- 

“You’re so pretty.” He could feel your hands tighten a little in his grasp. A cold chill rushed through him, oh god why did I say that…

Your eyes narrowed a little before looking down, a small shy smile playing at the corner of your lips. Nam-gyu felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest, he was so nervous, he could feel his hands begin to sweat inside the sleeves of his hoodie. 

“You don’t mean that.” You let out a small laugh, glancing over at him for just a second. 

Nam-gyu smiled a little wider, his hands shaking just a little bit from anxiety as he readied himself to speak again. “I think you’re really pretty.” 

“Holy shit.” You giggle a little in disbelief, looking back up at him, “I- uh I think you’re really cute too.” 

His hands were shaking so badly now, he could feel the tremble spread through his arms, a shock of excitement shooting through him right along with his anxiety. This felt too good to be true, he almost worried that this was some sick joke, and he would wake up from this dream… back there. 

“Hey. Are you okay?” Your voice suddenly breaks Nam-gyu out of his thoughts, he blinked, realizing he was staring down at your joined hands. “You’re shaking really bad.” 

“Oh… Um, yeah I have pretty bad anxiety.” He expressed with a small laugh, “And it’s been a while since I’ve felt this kind of way.” 

Your eyes softened a little bit, a small smile finding its way to your lips. “It’s been a while for me too.” 

Nam-gyu’s hand found its way out of his sleeve, slowly raising up to cup your cheek softly, “Can I kiss you?” He muttered softly, already moving a little closer. 

~~~

You didn’t answer him. Your hand came up to rest on his jaw, fingers softly threading through his hair as you brought him closer to you, lips connecting in a kiss. He let out a soft breath as your lips slotted together perfectly, a soft but passionate kiss, filled with weeks of tiptoeing around each other. 

Both of his hands now cradled your head, one hand slipping down a little to hold your neck, his rings cold against your neck. You could feel his tongue brush against your bottom lip, begging for entrance. Your tongues brushed against each other in a soft battle, forcing a small moan from his lips. 

Your face immediately flushed at the sound, warmth spreading from your cheeks down to your neck. 

“You gotta calm down with all that.” You muttered when you pulled back a little. A small laugh coming from you. 

Nam-gyu blinked a little before laughing, “Sorry… I got a little carried away.”

[mscherub]

Right, so…you’re transported to a new world, and me being the science geek I am, I can’t help but think of all the bacteria you wouldn’t be accustomed to in Twisted Wonderland…so imagine how bad flu season would be, or just the spreading of sicknesses around the school in general

You better have a good immune system cause oml would it be put into overdrive. Anyways…here’s my twist on what the Pomefiore boys would do in order to be helpful in your recovery ❤️‍🩹

Heartslabyul, Savannaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia

Warnings!:

Sickness, obviously

Mentions of vomiting, snot, etc

To start us off…

It’s flu season in Twisted Wonderland, well you call it the flu, they call it something else you don’t even bother to learn. With you’re immune so shot and not used to the illnesses that spread around, getting sick more often that you honestly should, you woke up with a headache. Ok…nothing too serious, but you thought it to be a good idea to just take some ibuprofen equivalent in their world and “thug it out,” which ultimately lead to your current situation. Currently, you’re in the infirmary, having passed out from a raging fever and a disgustingly congested respiratory system during PE and you’re bed ridden back at ramshackle, at least until your fever goes down. Sevens bless Grim and the ghosts as they try and get you things to feel better, but you need some sort of intervention, and here comes you’re favorite person at the right time. How do they help you out?

Vil🪞:

Well…you should know right from the start he doesn’t want to get sick, ”he can’t afford to,” he’ll say, so don't expect him to linger too close to you

But hey, he’s there to help out at least, right? He’s got expertise at concocting up poisons so maybe he can use that knowledge and remedy up something to help you get better a little more quickly

Also, of course he’s gonna have you on a light skincare routine. “Honestly, your skin looks dull, and your eyebags are not doing much to heighten your appearance…poor spudling, take this-” Thanks for that, I guess, Vil

I feel like since he does make his own skincare items, he’d know the right herbal ingredients and their benefits and he’d make some sort of vapor rub equivalent in twisted wonderland to ease your coughs and any congestion you might have

He’ll have you nutritional meals made because your body is already fighting a lot as is and it’ll need something to keep it going. If you don’t feel like eating, he might force you, be cautious y’all—

He’ll tend to you without complaint, maybe a light tongue click here and there or small huffs and at the actions you do, but he’s getting an escape from the outside world by being with you, even if he’s at risk of getting sick himself. He’s also happy to just be alone with you even if he doesn’t show it

Enjoy the time with him, seriously, how often are people cared for by the Vil Schoenheit? Exactly…

Rook🏹:

He’s known for his endless love sonnets on the beautiful things that catch his eye, so yea, you’ll be hearing that a lot while he helps you out, because he just can’t hold back the compliments while you look eye-catching even with being in such a sickly state!

“That sneeze was just magnifique!” Especially if your not in the mood for compliments, he’ll throw them out even more at you, he likes to see what makes people tick, in good or bad ways, it’s all interesting to him

Medicines are tracked and marked, and he’ll probably do a little cleaning up as well as aiding you in your assignments you have to make up, not fully, just a few notes and pointers.

Again, he’s learned from Vil, so nutritional meals all the way. Eat up or he’ll go on rants about how you need to provide fuel for your gorgeous body and mind. Kinda sweet

He’ll sit with you and yap your ear off as well, or, he’ll make use of the time to read you poetry he’s written to hopefully soothe you to sleep. If it works then good, if not, “I’ve got other methods to aid you in sleeping :)”…bro what—

Rook will be happy you even let him tend to you for a little, he’ll make sure no one disturbs your sleep, and no, he’s totally not gonna watch you while you sleep, that’s outrageous, pshhhh-

Epel 🍎:

He’ll complain even though he offered to help you, saying stuff like maybe if you just didn’t get sick he wouldn’t have to do this blah blah blah. Just tell him he’s being a big help, and that it’s a “manly” thing to do. He’ll probably shut up after that

He’ll sit with you, he’s not afraid to get sick, he comes from country life, he probably been through far worse then just some ”little cold” so he’ll sit by you and tend to you

Pillows or blankets, you’ve got it!

He probably won’t clean up, but he’ll try and help you with your assignments whether that be writing down his notes in your notebook or helping you out with assignments any teacher assigned

He’ll cook you food, anything you want, probably not without a little complaint here and there but he’ll still do it anyways, just for you. Don’t say that’s cute or sweet of him to do because then he won’t do it

Giving you your medicine at the right time is easy, he’s got that under his belt no problem

To pass time he’ll carve an apple or two, which are very detailed carvings. He’s very skilled at that so give him a little praise and he’ll he happy

Afterwards he can boast to others how helpful he was, earning some brownie points in the first year friend group. He’s happy he could be relied on 👍

That’s it lovelies!! All that’s left is Ignyhide and Diasomnia <3

Btw, requests and asks are open!!! ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ

Master list

Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!

Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)

[cha-melodius]

#16, Alex/Henry?

(Also requested by @firenati0n. I feel like there were two obvious options for this one: post-leaks in canon, or post-rescue mission of some kind. You can probably guess which one I chose. 😂 read all the hug ficlets)

Firstprince, 16: The “it’s okay, I’m here” hug.

Add’l note: This is more or less a tiny sequel to So Close to Something Better Left Unknown. You don’t have to have read the fic to read this ficlet, but it does contain minor spoilers for the very end of said fic.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

When Henry gave him the watch, it was half a joke and half because Henry’s in love with him and his hopeless heart latched onto the slim chance to keep an eye on him, at least from a distance. He’d expected Alex to leave it behind, or disable the tracker, or at the very least not wear it, but as far as he can tell, Alex had done none of those things. The tracker bops around the globe, giving Henry far too much information on CIA missions merely through its location. Not that Henry would ever pass on that information to his own agency, or anyone else for that matter.

That Alex trusted him not to, to keep his secrets… Well, it means a lot.

He assumed that at some point his own work would bring him within striking distance of Alex again, and he’d make use of the tracker to find him and… oh, hell, he doesn’t know. Say hello? It sounds absurd for a spy, but it’s pretty much all he could hope for. But before that happens, the tracker gets stuck for a week in a remote part of Guatemala, and Henry starts to get worried. Maybe Alex just lost the watch, or abandoned it for some reason. That’s the most reasonable explanation. Even so, Henry quietly requests recent satellite images of that area and zooms all the way in on the watch’s coordinates.

It’s a high-security compound of some sort. Not good.

He tries not to let his imagination run wild. The tracker he’d left in the watch is extremely high resolution, and he watches it occasionally move around the compound, as if someone was wearing it, though mostly it stays in one place. Alex could have traded it or gifted it as part of an operation; it was a valuable watch, after all. Still, it nags at Henry. He’s not going to be able to rest until he finds out what actually happened. The most straightforward way would be simply asking, but he has no way of contacting Alex except a burner phone he has no reason to believe Alex would be monitoring.

He sends a message anyway, but after a few days without a response, he can’t take it anymore.

It’s completely mad, he knows it is, but he makes up an excuse about tracking down a lead on a long-cold operation and books a ticket to Guatemala City. He covertly watches the outside of the compound for three days, keeping track of the men who come and go, and sends photos of them to Bea with a request to run facial recognition and not ask any questions. (She does, of course, but she doesn’t push, even when they come back with the names of some very bad people.)

Finally, once the compound’s primary resident leaves and takes with him what should be the majority of his armed muscle, Henry makes his move. The watch is still inside, and Henry follows the tracker’s signal down into the basement of an outbuilding, taking out a handful of guards with tranquilizers as he goes. The building is dark and dank, and the series of locked metal doors he finds do nothing to help the cold, hard knot that’s settled into his stomach. His hands don’t shake as he picks the lock on the one the watch is resting behind, but that careful composure slips when the door finally swings open to reveal a miserable lump curled on a thin mattress, a head of matted curls just visible through the murky darkness.

Alex flinches away when Henry first reaches out for him, scrambling into the corner, but then his eyes land on Henry and his mouth drops open. He blinks rapidly, scrubs frantically at his eyes, and blinks again.

“Henry?” he croaks in disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for you, love,” Henry tells him, holding his hands out in front of him as he slowly moves closer. “I’ve come to get you.”

There’s a beat of silence, then another, then Alex surges toward him. Henry almost shies away himself, unsure of what Alex means to do, but then Alex is grabbing him and wrapping him up in a hug so tight it squeezes the air out of Henry’s lungs, and Henry can do nothing else but curl his arms around the trembling man now occupying his lap.

“It’s ok, I’m here,” he murmurs, rubbing a soothing hand down Alex’s back.

“How?” Alex chokes out. “How did you…?”

His voice trails off as he raises his left arm and looks at his own wrist, where a bit of watch strap peeks out beyond the filthy cuff of his shirt. Inexplicably, his captors had let him keep it, though that becomes more understandable when his sleeve slips further down and Henry sees how he’s smeared it with mud. The exquisite Patek Philippe now looks like a beaten up piece of junk.

“I didn’t want to lose it,” Alex says, his voice cracking over the syllables. He drops his arm and tries to bury his face in Henry’s chest. “That probably sounds dumb.”

“No, love, it doesn’t,” Henry says, holding him tighter. It’s torture to pull away, but eventually he must. “Come on,” he says, tipping Alex’s chin, now covered in a scraggly beard, up so their eyes meet. “Let’s get you out of here.”

[dootznbootz]

Hello, I want to ask this question but I don't want it to sound disrespectful, I really want to know and I'm not trying to be rude.

Why are Helen and Menelaus one of your OTPs? I mean, at least the versions I know Helen falls in love with Paris and willingly goes to Troy with him (but I have to say that this was told to me, I didn't read it from any legitimate source, so I could be wrong) so I'd like to know what makes you love them! And that's all, I hope you have a nice day:3

YIPPEE! :D First of all, I wanna say thank you for being polite and genuine with your ask :3 I really appreciate that you seem to be coming from a genuinely curious perspective and want to know why! I hope you have a lovely day too <3

And then~ Ima put some links to other posts of mine (AND some other lovely folks) that discuss Helen and Menelaus and the whole thing with Paris. Most have text evidence :3

I have made the ones that I think are most important to read in bold

Menelaus in the Iliad talking about how Paris stole Helen

A fantastic essay written by another Tumblr user (deactivated now. you will be missed!) that delves into the reality of Paris and Helen's relationship alongside Paris as a person

My own essay about how Odysseus and Helen play "similar roles" in their stories. I'm assuming you've found me through my Odyssey and Water Wife stuff, so you're probably an Odysseus fan so this kind of delves into how I, personally, believe that Odysseus and Helen mirror each other in many ways plot wise. So if you are also in agreement that Odysseus couldn't have cheated because cheating requires consent, Helen is basically in the same situation. Paris is just basically having Aphrodite strongarm Helen for him.

My Own personal feelings on Paris

A neat essay on how, narratively, the story fits into the themes of the whole Epic Cycle and the Iliad if Helen was actually kidnapped

Some stuff on Menelaus being a soft man in canon :3

My Own post delving somewhat into Helen's unwillingness with some text evidence

I recommend reading most of these (or at least the ones that intrigue you) and then I can chatter about these sillies below 🥹

So in canon, just for the Iliad and the Odyssey, Menelaus is often portrayed as a quiet, shy even, and I would even go so far as to call him gentle, man. (It's kind of a collective fanon headcanon that Menelaus is austistic coded based on his behavior in the texts) It's something really interesting that one of his epithet's is "War Loving" and yet, he's one of the more "peaceful" kings there.

Adrestus rolled out of the chariot beside the wheel, face down in the dirt. Menelaus, son of Atreus,                        stood there over him, holding his long-shadowed spear. Adrestus clutched Menelaus by the knees and begged: “Take me alive, son of Atreus—you’ll get good ransom. My father is a wealthy man, owns lots of things—bronze, silver, well-worked iron. So he’ll give you a splendid ransom, if he learns I’m by Achaean ships, alive.”                             Adrestus pleaded. Menelaus’s heart in his chest was moved. He was about to hand Adrestus to his attendant, to take back captive to the fast Achaean ships.           But then Agamemnon came running up to him, sharply criticizing Menelaus:  “Menelaus, you soft-hearted man, why are you sparing men’s lives like this? In your own home, Trojans treated you exceptionally well, did they not? So don’t let any one of them evade a terrible destruction at our hands— not even the young child still carried in his mother’s belly. Let no one escape.                         Let everyone in Troy be slaughtered, without pity, without leaving any trace.”    

(Book 6, Johnston)

Like the main reason WHY Menelaus is fighting this war in the first place and fighting so hard, is because he just wants Helen back. Literally the most "violent" we've seen Menelaus is, imo, during his fight with Paris, the man who kidnapped Helen and is forcing himself upon her. As he literally starts DRAGGING Paris by his helmet on the ground. And when Paris offers Treasure in place of Helen, Diomedes' declines on his (and technically all the other Achaeans') behalf as Menelaus was injured.

And if you've looked at the bolded links I put above, you'll see how Helen also desperately does not want to be there and just wants to go back home, missing Menelaus and their daughter, Hermione.

And with Helen, she literally basically tells Paris that since he would've lost the fight with Menelaus, therefore would've been killed, if not for Aphrodite, that he should kill himself because that's what's honorable.

“You’ve come back from the fight. How I wish   you’d died there, killed by that strong warrior who was my husband once. You used to boast you were stronger than warlike Menelaus,  more strength in your hands, more power in your spear. So go now, challenge war-loving Menelaus to fight again in single combat. I’d suggest you stay away. Don’t fight it out man to man with fair-haired Menelaus, without further thought. You might well die, come to a quick end on his spear.”  

(Book 3, Johnston)

I honestly fucking love how Helen straight up says to Paris' face that she wished Menelaus killed him. Deserved.

In some ways, I think Paris is a very neat contrast to Menelaus in how Paris left his wife and child behind to start a life with a new "better" wife, while Menelaus is willing to go to war to bring the wife he loves so much back home, safe and happy, with him. Menelaus can't even think of the idea of just "starting anew".

And in the Odyssey, it's just... It's just so sweet seeing how these two interact when Telemachus goes to Sparta to talk to them. Helen is no longer in tears, and while she's still dealing with her self-loathing and guilt, so does Menelaus. They share this burden together and are very gentle with each other. The way she's back to being so happy and hosting as a happy Queen and wife should, is so SO different from how we see Helen in the Iliad, as she's finally happy, safe, and at home. 😭

Like, please look at how silly these two are when they see Telemachus:

Right away she started speaking to her husband, asking him some detailed questions:                                   “Do we know, my divinely cherished Menelaus, who these two men who’ve come into our home claim to be? Shall I speak up and pretend, or shall I tell the truth? My heart tells me                            I must be frank. I can’t say I’ve ever seen                            someone who looks so much like someone else, whether man or woman. When I see it, I’m amazed—this man looks just like the son of brave Odysseus—I mean Telemachus, who, when he left home, was a new-born child, when, because I’d acted so disgracefully, you Achaeans all sailed away to Troy, your hearts intent on brutal warfare.” Fair-haired Menelaus then answered her and said: “This likeness you’ve just noticed, my dear wife,               I’ve seen, as well. His feet are similar, as are his hands, the glances from his eyes,                                              his head, and his hair on top. And just now, as I was remembering Odysseus, discussing all the troubles he’d endured because of me, he let a bitter tear fall from his eyes and raised the purple cloak across his face.”

(Book 4, Johnston)

Like??? She feels free to speak and state her mind because she IS free with Menelaus. She feels respected and loved in her own house and is the queen to his king and slkdjf kljdsfalj THEY'RE HAPPYYYYYY

In the Odyssey also, it was she who interpreted the omen that Telemachus and Pesistratus even though Menelaus was asked to interpret it! ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HER HAPPILY BEING A QUEEN AND HER AND HER WORDS BEING RESPECTED.

Menelaus, for all his warlike qualities, was at a loss to give him the correct interpretation, and his beautiful wife forestalled him. 'Listen,' she said, 'while with such inspiration as I have I explain this omen and what I feel sure that it portends. [...]

(Book 15, E.V. Rieu)

LOOK AT EURIPIDES' HELEN

Like to me, these two in canon are kind of "opposites attract" while OdyPen are "Likeminded". As Helen is definitely one to chatter more and Menelaus is perfectly fine letting Helen talk for him.

And while young, Menelaus and Agamemnon after their father, Atreus, was killed by their uncle, they had to flee Mycenae to stay safe and were exiled. And where did they stay during this time?

In Sparta, WITH TYNDAREUS AND LEDA, HELEN'S PARENTS >:3

And with most depictions of Menelaus and Odysseus when getting married to Helen and Penelope, both are usually beardless, implying youth/same age. So I love the idea of them being childhood friends to lovers. (that's just MY interpretation though) It's part of the reason why Helen picked him out of all the suitors (though yeah, another interpretation)

AND look at this depiction of them reunitiing!!!

So for the context for this specific version/interpretation of them reuniting, he has just killed Deiphobus, Paris' brother that Helen went to after Paris died, (Troy was fated to fall, if Helen was returned, Menelaus and the other Achaeans would go home and Troy would be left alone, so... Fate interfered with Helen even possibly going home) and she was in the room when it happened. Helen, being somewhat scared that Menelaus would try to kill her, started to run. (That's Helen on the Right, the left is supposed to be Aphrodite, who, while she did keep Helen in Troy for Paris, is still the goddess of love. So that's why she's there.)

BUT LOOK HOW HE TOSSED HIS SWORD TO THE SIDE TO RUN TO HER?! 😭

In general, I love the dynamics that play into their relationship AND how their relationship even plays with other characters like OdyPen. I'm not as detailed with their lives as I am with my OdyPen, they're still heavily involved in my ideas and they're all very close. They go on double dates!

Heck, since I have the whole "childhood friends" stuff in my stuff, Helen, Menelaus, Penelope, Castor, and Deiphobus all grew up together and were kind of a goofy lil crew :3 (I have aged up Clytemnestra to work with my Agamemnon more with how I have my timeline work out :') The timeline is a mess and this is how I'm making it work)

Like, My OdyPen are my "Freak4Freak, Likeminded, ADHD, squirming, wriggling, giggling, nuzzling noses and constantly moving and chattering" couple while my MenHelen are my "Slow and relaxed, long kisses, Helen chatters while Menelaus listens, Menelaus is Helen's weighted blanket person who eases her anxiousness with his quiet demeanor, staring at each other with big eyes." couple 🥹

Snippets of my goobers being affectionate in their own special way, my OdyPen one from my one longfic and my MenHelen is just a snippet I wrote recently.

OdyPen squirm and wriggle while MenHelen stare at each other with big eyes and are each others safe place.

My dear friend, @thehelplessmortals (One of MenHelen's super fans! Check em out if you're even more curious about them! they have their own fanart and headcanons for them too!) doodled my version of the goobers being silly. My Helen is Chubby and 6'4 (Zeus' child and most beautiful woman in the world) and she likes to wrestle, and Menelaus is 6'2, she can pick him up >:3

"DAD, I WANT THIS ONE!"

Also~ Here's my list of Odyssey translations I've gathered :3 Feel free to pick one if you ever wanna read the actual text.

[ephie-om]

A Gentle Wrath (Part 2)

Part 1

Satan’s hand rests comfortably in yours as you walk slowly down the sidewalk. The late-night air has a slight chill to it, but he made sure to check the weather before walking you home and brought an extra jacket for you just in case. It was lucky enough that you were able to find a job safe for you in the Devildom; he wasn’t about to take any chances that you could get sick or hurt on the way back to the house. His thumb strokes your hand idly as you walk and he matches your pace effortlessly.

You talk about your day aimlessly, wandering from topic to topic and he listens happily. Truth be told, this is his favorite part of the day, finally reuniting with you at the end of it all. The conversation includes anything and everything that comes to mind. Your classes at RAD, the book he read today at lunch, how you need to get new work shoes, plans to sneak a taste of Lucifer’s newest demonus variety. 

He always prefers to listen more than talk during these walks. Back at home, you’re a little too indulgent of his brothers’ whims to walk all over you in a conversation. This is the only time guaranteed to him to hear your voice in the quiet. Every time you trip over your words or laugh at your own joke is another tally in his journal of reasons to love you. 

The front gates of the House of Lamentation come into view all too soon for his liking, but you heave a relieved sigh. “Your feet hurt?” he guesses. You nod and push open the door. The warm air hits both of you like a wall, and he can hear your stomach rumble as you catch the smell of meat from the kitchen. “How long for dinner?” he calls out. Levi’s voice answers him, echoing through the foyer. “Maybe thirty more minutes, if I don’t burn the damn noodles again.”

You chuckle and Satan looks over at you, mirroring your smile easily. “You have time for a quick shower, if you’d like.” 

“Definitely,” you answer quickly. “But he’d better have that done by the time I get back down here, or I might turn into Beel.” He laughs and watches you head upstairs, deciding he had better stay and make sure dinner gets done on time. 

You and Satan find yourselves sprawled across his couch with full stomachs and eyes fluttering shut. He’s propped himself up against the arm of the couch to hold you. The feeling of your head resting on his chest with his arms around you is second to none. He lets his eyes close, reveling in the moment, when you break the silence. 

“Satan?”

“Hm?”

“Do you remember the first time we ever did this?”

He laughs, his torso making your head shake. “Of course I remember. You fell asleep on me during the movie that you picked out and then apologized about a hundred times when you woke up.”

You smile into his chest. “I felt so bad. I really didn’t mean to fall asleep, but that was before I knew how comfortable you were.”

He grins. “Honestly, I was just happy you trusted me enough to sleep.”

You raise your head to look up at him, confused. “Why would I not trust you enough?”

“Well…” he trails off. “I didn’t know if you could. Not after everything I did.” He glances down to see you still frowning. “I mean, I threatened you into making a pact with me, spent most of my free time pissing you off, tried to kill you multiple times, then tried to play nice with you. I wasn’t sure if you were ever going to trust me.”

You huff in annoyance. “None of you liked me when I got here, remember? A lot’s changed since then.” He opens his mouth to agree with you before you cut him off. “Wait a minute. Is that why I saw that stack of books in your room about humans the night I fell asleep on you? You were trying to figure out how to get me to trust you?” Satan can feel the blush rise to his cheeks.

“You could say that,” he mutters.

“Well, what would you say?”

He takes a deep breath, trying to find the words. “I would say that every time you picked me up off the ground when I fell, every time you tended to my wounds before whatever I broke in my rage, every time you tried to cheer me up, there was this… tenderness behind it. It broke me more than being angry. Being angry is something I’m used to; it’s woven into my being. But being cared for is still new to me. And I was so scared that despite everything you did for me, I would never be able to give you the same care. My research on humans yielded almost nothing, which certainly didn’t help. But somehow you still fell in love with me. And more importantly, you let me love you.” He feels his throat tightening as he speaks, and he presses a kiss to your forehead to stifle his emotions. “I know I’m not the most experienced lover or the most romantic, but you’re still here, so I think I must be doing something right,” he says softly, almost to himself more than you. 

You brush your fingers idly over his arm. “I don’t know how I could ever not trust you. You think this isn’t gentle?” He bites the inside of his cheek. You were right. Of course you were. It was so gentle, so caring, the way you relaxed into his body and the way his arms rested on you. “I trust you,” you murmur. “I wish you knew how much I do. And I don’t ever want to hear you say you don’t deserve to be cared for, alright?”

He mutters a quiet “okay” into the top of your head, and you pretend not to feel his chest heave. His fingers run up and down your back, proving to himself again and again that you were here and you weren’t going to leave. 

You fall asleep in his arms again that night. And for the first time, he falls asleep too.

[strangerthingsfanworkrecs]

Artist Highlight: Jo-Harrington

This week, we're highlighting @jo-harrington! All recs this week will be for her work. @jo-harrington writes for the Stranger Things Fandom, with a special focus on xOC, and xReader fics. She's also a great beta-editor and design all the graphics for her fics! We're highlighting Jo for her incredible world building and strong OCs.

You should check out her Store Manager Verse fics for some great fluff and top-tier retail angst Jo answered some questions about her creative process and her work under the cut

Why Stranger Things?

I’ve been an avid ST Fan since the beginning. My old Store Manager and I watched the first episode in the backroom of our store while folding t-shirts and rest was history. Fic-wise, a certain Metalhead Dungeon Master brought me out of a fanfiction posting hiatus and I haven’t looked back since.

What's your favorite ship (platonic or romantic) to create for?

Platonic is always going to be the Hellfire Club boys. I love writing their adventures. Their friendship is epic and deserves to be explored and celebrated. Romantic…EddiexOC or EddiexReader. I mean, I’ve been an xOC girl since my first fandom. xReader is new for me but it’s almost an extension of xOC. I always joke that I’m allowed ONE epic borbo obsession love of my life per decade and I’ll give them one canon pairing but the rest are OCs.

What's your typical writing process like?

I have an idea, I write it down, I get sick of working on a chapter, I don’t edit, I post. (Which is funny because when I beta, I am a lot more detailed. But for my own work I just need it out of my head.) It might not be the best. It could probably read better or have less typos or mistakes. But it’s always from the heart.

How do you come up with your OCs?

I sit there for a long time and figure out how I can put a part of myself into a story. Oops was I not supposed to say that? Sometimes you think of a character that you just can’t help but want to write. But even if they aren’t a manifestation of your physical self or your personality, they almost always end up being an extension of you in some ways, or something you aspire to be. You also need to add some attributes you hate into them, so that they’re not too perfect and you can throttle them around and make them suffer and not feel too bad/let it become a self hatred thing.

What has been your favorite project so far? Why?

Store Manager Verse. (EMxReader) Retail is who I am and who I’ve always been. I had a mall romance irl that went south. So it was a way to rewrite my past with my comfort character…and also give said comfort character a happy ending as well.

What has been your hardest project so far? Why?

As Above, So Below. (EMxOC) It is a passion project, it is a beast, every chapter takes an emotional toll on me and it takes a month—if not more—to recover. But it has been the single most fulfilling project that I’ve worked on in the 20 years I’ve been writing fanfiction. I've been working on it for about 2 years now. 3 more chapters til the end…I’m gonna be very sad when it’s over.

Have you ever had a creative block? How did you get over it?

My brain is just a beehive that I shake every now and again to get the bees angry. Honestly, the bigger block I get into is self-doubt. I have no problem finding the words, it’s the courage to put them to paper I struggle with at times.

Is there a big source of inspiration for you? Books? Art? Games?

Yes all of the above. But in all seriousness, life experience is the best inspiration. There’s only so much research you can do. Truly for me, the canon characters are the source of inspiration. Then I take from things I’ve done, things I’ve read, places I’ve been in order to take an idea to a fully formed plot.

Is there an upcoming project you're particularly excited about?

Eddie Munson Big Bang. I know you’re gonna hear that a lot. I love creating really ambitious AUs and I think this one is really testing my abilities as a writer. It's a crossover fic, in a way, but with a lot of original plot folded in. I hope I do both fandoms/universes justice.

Is there anything we didn't ask that you'd like to add?

I’m from the Midwest, so thank you for listening to all of my long-winded answers. Haha.

[clappingandcheering]

(Percy Jackson x reader)

Shiny like the ocean

Warnings: None! Super cute story about you and Percy wanting to be parents and then becoming parents. Lmk if you want another part with the baby making, but I'm like a fresh writer, so I didn't want that to be my first impression!

"You know," Percy began, his voice casual but with that unmistakable gleam in his eyes. "I've been thinking."

You glanced up from the book you were reading, raising an eyebrow. "Oh? This should be good," you teased, half-smiling, knowing full well that when Percy Jackson got that look, you were in for something unexpected.

Percy's grin widened, clearly pleased with your response. "What do you think about having a kid?"

Your heart skipped a beat, and you suddenly found your fingers twirling absentmindedly around the edge of the book. "A kid?" you echoed, trying to sound nonchalant, but the truth was, you weren't sure how to respond. You'd always imagined this kind of conversation would come up eventually—but now that it had, it felt like your words were stuck somewhere deep inside.

Percy, sensing your hesitation, leant forward on the couch, his voice softening. "I know we’ve talked about it before, but... I just really think we’d be great parents." He was already smiling that goofy, hopeful grin, the one you couldn’t resist even if you tried. "We’d make an awesome team, you know?"

You could feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks as you looked anywhere but at him. The idea of having a child, a little one to take care of, to love... It was terrifying and exciting all at once. You weren’t sure if you were ready for that kind of responsibility, but Percy was always so sure about things, and it made you want to believe it too.

“I mean, I guess we could..." you mumbled, your voice small and shy. “It’s just… I don’t know.”

Percy raised an eyebrow, teasing. “What, you scared of a little diaper duty?”

You snorted despite yourself. “You’d be the one doing all the work, huh?”

“Maybe,” he said with a wink. “But honestly, I think we could do it. And if we mess up, we’ll just blame it on the gods.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Always the Greek way.”

Percy laughed, and before you could think of a more serious response, he leant over and kissed you on the cheek. “No pressure. Just something to think about.”

But as he pulled away, there was a sincerity in his eyes that made your heart swell. You weren’t quite sure what to think yet, but when it came to Percy Jackson, sometimes the best things in life came when you least expected them.

Three years later...

You woke to the soft sound of giggles echoing down the hallway. A small hand tugged at your arm, pulling you out of your sleepy haze.

"Mum! Dad’s making pancakes again!" the little voice squealed.

You blinked, your mind struggling to fully wake up, but when you opened your eyes, you saw the tiny form of your son standing at the foot of your bed, his curly hair sticking out in all directions like a cute little mess. He was wearing his favourite Captain America pyjama shirt, the one Percy had picked out for him because it "matched his heroic spirit." The little boy grinned at you, his eyes wide and full of excitement.

"Did you sleep okay, buddy?" You asked, sitting up, your heart warming at the sight of him.

"Yeah!" he said, bouncing on his heels. "Dad said we’re having chocolate chips in the pancakes today. And we’re going to the park afterwards! Can we go, Mum? Can we?"

You smiled sleepily, brushing your hair out of your face. The house was quiet except for the soft noises of Percy in the kitchen and the sound of laughter spilling out from there.

“Give me a second, okay?” You said, ruffling your son’s messy curls. "I’ll be right down."

As your son hurried off to the kitchen, you let yourself take a moment. You could hear Percy’s voice, light and cheerful, as he worked at the stove. The warmth of the moment settled over you—this was your family now. The little boy who had come into your life and changed everything, who was both a reminder of the love you and Percy shared and a miracle of your own making.

You felt a soft tug in your chest. It was hard to remember what life was like before him, before you’d taken that leap, before you and Percy had gone from shy, unsure newlyweds to confident, exhausted—but incredibly happy—parents.

Downstairs, Percy was flipping pancakes with the same easy confidence he'd had all those years ago. The three of you—together, imperfectly perfect—sounded like a family now.

As you made your way into the kitchen, your son immediately ran over to you, his arms wide. “Mum! Look!” He showed you his tiny pile of pancakes, adorned with a mountain of chocolate chips.

“You made all of that?” You asked, pretending to be impressed, though you knew who had done the bulk of the work.

Percy chuckled, tossing his flour-covered spatula into the sink. “Teamwork,” he said, winking at you. “He’s getting good at this.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your two favourite people, your hearts full. "I think he’s going to give you a run for your money in the kitchen soon."

“Good,” Percy said, scooping your son up and tossing him into the air, earning a burst of delighted laughter. "We’ll need all the help we can get."

And just like that, your heart melted. This little family of yours—it wasn’t perfect, but it was everything you’d ever wanted.

[joicecubes]

HEY!!!!! HEY YOU!! (sits you down to listen to me yap about my queer headcanons for gravity falls characters)

mabel - okay lets get her out of the way. this girl is queer as fuck. she may not realize it yet, but in her teenage years i know she’s experimented with every single label and microlabel in existence. she’d try out hundreds of neopronouns. she realizes her obsession with boys as a kid was a result of comphet. i don’t have a specific label for her because i think in the end she’d discover she can’t make herself identify with any one label. because she’s just mabel! unlabeled and proud.

dipper - do i even have to say it… he’s trans. i think every queer person in this fandom headcanons him to be trans. moving on

stanley - he’s kinda unlabeled too, but for a reason opposite to mabel’s. ladies, gentlemen, doesn’t matter to him! i think its fair to assume he grew up believing that being gay was wrong, it was the 60s and 70s and his dad’s a piece of shit, but as he traveled the country and met so many different people and then witnessed the times changing around him… he’d just. grow into his attraction for men. like, yeah i like men? so what? he doesn’t care for labels. “bisexual, mabel? pansexual? quit making up words!”

(more starting with stanford under the cut this is gonna be sorta long)

stanford - hehehheee okay this is my favorite. i’ve thought about his sexuality a lot. he’s definitely gay to me, and i don’t have much reasoning for that other than like… my heart is telling me that’s the right answer. but he’s also definitely on the aroace spectrum. i personally think he’s demi or grayromantic, he feels romantic attraction VERY rarely and its part of the reason why he felt so helpless in the dating department as a teenager, and also why as an adult later on he tells fiddleford he doesn’t understand romance. he’s hardly ever experienced it! and he wouldn’t really KNOW he identifies with those labels until he’s back in his dimension and mabel is in her obsessed-with-queer-microlabels phase. he hears mabel say “demiromantic” and, being the nerd he is, immediately wants to know what this new word means and why he’s never heard of it before. so mabel rolls a big-ass whiteboard in and starts Mabel’s Guide to the Aromantic Spectrum! ford learns something about himself that day.

fiddleford - HE’S GAY. he’s gay. he’s so gay. i know he canonically has a wife but he literally leaves emma may to work on this mysterious project with his best and only MALE friend from college like… BE so fr. he made ford TWO christmas gifts and forgot to get anything for his wife!! i imagine his marriage to emma may was more of a way for him to deny his sexuality and live what he believes to be a “normal” life. and that obviously doesnt excuse the neglect to his family (because what the fuck fiddleford) but its how i personally make sense of his behavior.

bill cipher - bill transcends human comprehension of gender and sexuality. bill is just bill. but in human terms he’s a lover of all genders. as long as he can manipulate them, they’re fair game! (sorry ford)

wendy - okayyy yesss i know i used the comphet excuse once with mabel but i’m using it again god dammit. with the way wendy talks about her past boyfriends and how we see her be so vaguely invested in her relationship with robbie, it makes me think she’s either a lesbian or somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. she’s just not super interested! but she gives guys chances because why the hell not and is never super into any of it, eventually they break up, and she moves on with her life. i imagine sometime after high school is when she reflects on that and thinks… huh. was i ever attracted to men at all?

soos - saving the most anticlimactic for last… soos is straight to me. but he’s an ENTHUSIASTIC ally :)

thanks for reading i really like overthinking the theoretical queer identities of my favorite characters have a nice day (and let me know if you’re headcanons differ i would love to hear what people think!!)

[imagrindylow]

Talk to Me

Leander Prewett / f!MC

7.8k Words Content Warnings: Just fluff! Pining, crushes, general cuteness. Summary: Sixth year has begun, and Leander is nervous to start talking to MC again after their summer apart. Tired of listening to his pining, Garreth comes up with a way to get Leander and MC talking. A/N: MC's house isn't specified, but for plot, she's written to not be in Gryffindor.

~~~~~

“You’re making this harder than it has to be, mate,” Garreth said, relaxing back against his headboard, a potions book and a mess of scribbled notes spread on his bed beside him that had been forgotten in the wake of conversation.

He and Leander had their dorm to themselves for the moment, and as typical, Leander was taking this time to vent about his lady woes – or rather – his lack-of-lady woes. 

Leander paced the space between their beds, shaking his head at his friend. Of course for someone like Garreth – someone confident and effortlessly funny and charming – getting a girl's attention was not a difficult task. Hell, Leander would settle for being able to talk to girls without putting his foot in his mouth. Not even girls, just… one specific girl. 

“What am I supposed to say to her?” Leander groaned, a rhetorical question that he stopped his pacing to answer with his standard self deprecating flair. “Oh, hello, I know I can barely speak to you without tripping over my words and making a fool of myself, but we should totally go out anyway,” he scoffed. “That’ll go over well.” 

Garreth sighed, feeling sympathetic to his friend’s situation. At the same time, however, sixth year had barely begun and the pining was already getting more than a little bit old. He had half a mind to march up to MC and tell her himself that Leander had been hemming and hawing about asking her out since fifth year, but Garreth valued his life and didn’t want to risk Leander hexing him into oblivion if he were to unintentionally make things worse. 

“You’re acting like she’s a stranger to you but she’s not. Sure, you haven’t talked since before summer, but all you have to do is break the ice with her again for the year. It’s not like you have to come right out and profess your undying love for her, just ask her to Hogsmeade or something,” Garreth said, picking up his book and casually riffling the pages. 

It was advice he’d given Leander before, that he had yet to take for whatever reason. Even if it didn’t lead to anything more, surely MC wouldn’t turn him down for a trip into the village. But Leander was as hard headed as he was insecure and nervous, and no amount of assurance from Garreth that he was actually a good catch would convince him.

“There’s better people for her to go to Hogsmeade with. She’s friends with everyone, I’d probably have to take a number and wait,” he said.

“I could talk to her for you,” Garreth said, not trying to sound too pushy, as he’d offered to do this before. 

Leander drew in a breath, eyes widening at Garreth as though the idea was insane. “Ohh no, absolutely not. You stay out of it. All you need to do is listen to me whine and let me wallow in my loneliness,” he said dramatically. 

Other friends of theirs may have found Leander’s theatrical refusal amusing – he was actually quite the funny bloke – but Garreth knew that in this instance it was a guise, hiding his actual hurt under his innate humor. 

Leander crossed the room and looked over himself in the mirror besides their dorm room door. He smoothed out his hair and tucked his button down into his trousers. “Anyway, I was planning on heading to the library to do some more reading for that Transfiguration assignment due next week. Want to come?”

Garreth shook his head and waved his friend off. “Nah. I’ll do it later, I work better under pressure, anyway.”

“Suit yourself, but don’t ask to copy my notes,” Leander said and shrugged. He grabbed his bag from the hook beside the door and slung it over his shoulder, then turned to leave, but there was a clatter beside his bed that made him stop and turn around. 

His small Scops Owl, Hoots, had woken up and restlessly ruffled his feathers in his cage. Leander crossed the room to the bird, and when he spoke this time his voice was much softer. “I’m sorry Hoots, I know you want to go back to the Owlery, but it’s still chucking it down outside and I know you don’t like to fly in the rain.” 

Leander waggled his finger near the owl’s face, showing him the red mark from a nip he’d given him earlier in the day, after the owl had gotten caught in the downpour while returning from delivering a letter to Leander’s parents. The owl had flown to the dorm window rather than straight back to the owlery, set on reprimanding Leander for sending him out without having checked the forecast, and Leander wasn’t going to make that mistake again. 

Leander unlatched the door of the cage, and offered the owl his arm and Hoots hopped onto his sleeve readily. “You can stretch your wings in the room until the rain stops,” he said, then looked up and addressed Garreth once again. “You’ll watch him while I’m out, yeah?”

“Mhm,” Garreth hummed. “Hoots and I will have a grand time, I’ll bounce potion ideas off him.”

Leander grinned and raised his arm, prompting Hoots to flutter his wings before flying over and landing on Garreth’s headboard. He perched near Garreth’s shoulder, as though he was actually going to look over the potions text with him.

“Right, I’m off then. See you,” Leander said and dipped out of the room, making his way towards the library at last.

Garreth read through his potions book for a good 40 minutes, jotting down notes here and there, and muttering under his breath comments on the potioneer author's ideas. Hoots chirped and chittered intermittently, prompting the boy to discuss further, until he was having a full conversation with the owl.

Before long, though, Garreth grew restless and distracted, his mind wandering back to his earlier conversation with Leander. He’d definitely said ‘no’ to his offer of speaking to MC on his behalf, but what if Garreth could help in a more inconspicuous way? Garreth hopped up from his bed needing to stretch his legs and wandered over to Leander’s desk, nonchalantly sifting through some rolls of parchment that were lined up neatly to the side.  

“You want to help me with something, Hoots?” Garreth called to the owl, who flew over to Leander’s desk at the mention of his name. Hoots turned his head sharply, as though waiting for Garreth to elaborate. “Well, you’d be helping your dad, honestly.” 

Unsurprisingly to Garreth after conversing to the bird about potions for the better part of the last hour, Hoots squawked from his perch on the edge of Leander’s desk, a sound of agreement. And so Garreth’s mind was made up. Much like in his potions work, once an idea struck him, it had to be executed – for better or worse. This was one of his better ideas, though. He could feel it.

If he couldn’t speak to MC on Leander’s behalf, maybe he could get MC to speak to him, all of her own accord.

Garreth plucked one of the rolls of parchment from Leander’s desk – an Ancient Runes assignment that Garreth happened to know (from the amount of complaining Leander had done while working on it) was due after the weekend. 

“You want to stretch your wings a bit, yeah? Why don’t you deliver this to MC? Surely she’s in the castle somewhere.” Garreth said and offered the roll of parchment to Hoots.

The small owl took the roll of parchment in the talons of one foot and stepped onto Garreth’s waiting hand. 

“Let’s hope we don’t run into Leander on the way through the portrait,” Garreth said and headed out of the dorm, then down the stairs and through the common room. 

In his mind, running into Leander was the only thing that could go wrong. Once Hoots was out of the common room, Garreth was confident that the owl could execute the rest of his plan. The plan, of course, was that MC, after coming into possession of Leander’s assignment, would bring it back to him, and thus, talk to him. So simple. Would she be confused as to why an owl was bringing her someone else’s school work? Yes. Most definitely. But that – in Garreth’s opinion – just made the whole thing even better. She and Leander would be able to laugh about it, and laughing along with the girl you fancied was a good thing. Garreth definitely considered himself a genius for this one.

With Hoots on his arm, Garreth made his way through the portrait hole, and out into the castle. “Alright Hoots, remember, take this to MC and come right back. Avoid Leander, and I’ll be waiting out here to let you back inside. Be quick,” he instructed the owl, and with a swoop, Hoots was off on his mission, and Garreth took a seat on the floor in the hall outside the portrait of the Fat Lady.

~~~

Across the castle, MC had been enjoying her Friday evening over a game of Exploding Snap in the Great Hall, where she and several of her friends had lingered for a while after dinner. Talks of weekend plans were interrupted when a small owl flew in the open doors, screeching happily as it swooped down towards the tables. She hadn’t been expecting mail, especially not at this hour when usually post was delivered during breakfast, and so MC startled when the roll of parchment was dropped right in front of her, disturbing some of her cards that laid on the table.

“What’ve you got?” one of her friends asked her as she unrolled the paper.

The confusion read on her face as she looked the parchment over. She wasn’t taking the class, but still she recognised that what she’d been delivered was someone's Ancient Runes assignment. Not just any someone, though, but Leander Prewett’s – his name was written in neat calligraphy at the top corner of the page. What in Merlin’s name?

“Nothing, it was a mistake, it isn’t for me,” she told her friend, and tucked the parchment neatly into her bag that rested beside her on the floor.

She couldn’t explain why, but she found the fact that she was now in possession of Leander’s assignment to be embarrassing. It hadn’t been graded yet, nor did it appear to be completed, which told her that the work was due at a future date, and this further meant that she’d need to return it to him, and quickly, too. The problem was, they were on the eve of the weekend, and she had no idea where Leander liked to spend his time on Friday evenings. 

She pushed the issue from her mind only long enough to finish her game of Exploding Snap before excusing herself from the group and making her way back to her dorm. Thinking on things, she decided the best way to return his assignment would be the same way she’d received it – by owl. Could she deliver it to him over breakfast in the morning? Maybe, if they ended up eating at the same time, but that idea sounded terribly awkward. What if he accused her of stealing it somehow? In front of all of his friends… It wasn't an embarrassment that she could risk. Unfortunately for Leander, though, MC didn’t have her own owl, and she was most certainly not going to walk to the owlery in rain so heavy. She would wait till morning and hope that tomorrow would bring clearer weather, but in the meantime she took a seat at her desk to write a note that she planned to send along with the return of his assignment.

~~~

Leander woke Saturday morning to bright sun peeking through the slits in his bed curtains. Whatever time it was, it was far too early, but Hoots started flittering his wings at the first sounds of Leander waking up, and that was all it took to have the boy sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He was up and out of bed quickly after that, opening the window so that Hoots could fly back to the owlery before he woke the rest of the dorm with his impatience. 

By the time Leander was finished getting ready for the day, all of his dorm mates were still asleep in their beds, so he settled in at his desk, looking to utilize the early morning peace and quiet to finish up some work, so he could relax the rest of the weekend. His desk was always tidy, so it was very puzzling when Leander couldn't immediately find his Ancient Runes assignment. He knew he’d left it right there, lined up neatly with the rolls of parchment for his other classes, on the left hand side of his desk… He ran his hand through his still damp, freshly washed hair, and pushed his chair back from his desk. He hadn’t wanted to start his day with nervous pacing, but here he was. He couldn’t restart this assignment. There wasn’t enough time.

The wooden floors in the boys dorm – well, in the whole castle, really – were quite worn and creaky, and though he was trying to be quiet, his footfalls were actually rather disruptive, apparently, as one by one, the other boys in the dorm started turning over in their beds and waking up.

“It’s too early to be anxious already, Prewett, go back to sleep!” Eric Northcott called with a groan from behind his bed curtains.

“I have an Ancient Runes assignment due Monday morning and it’s gone!” Leander explained. “I dunno what to do,  I can’t restart it now, I'd been working on it all week!”

“Here’s an idea, worry about it later, when people are awake,” Eric said pointedly.

Garreth groaned. He hated knowing that what he’d done was stressing Leander out, but he couldn’t for the sake of the plan let anything slip. He had to have faith that MC would return the missing assignment before Leander had a full breakdown.

“Calm down, Eric, it’s a bloody Saturday, you can take a nap later if you’re tired. Come on lads! We ought to get up and help him look for it,” Garreth said, and swung his legs to the floor, stretched, then walked over to his own desk so he could make a show of trying to find the roll of parchment which was definitely not at any of their desks.

“Thanks, Gar,” Leander muttered, annoyed with Eric, as he crouched down and started going through the drawers on his desk.

“Of course, mate.”

Garreth’s advice, however, was apparently uninspiring, because soon the other boys were hitting the showers to start their day, leaving Garreth to help Leander on his own.

“It’ll turn up, it can’t have gone far, yeah? Was it in your bag? Maybe it fell out at the library?” Garreth offered, his stomach dropping uncomfortably as he fed his best friend false leads. It would pay off in the end, he repeated on loop in his head as he crossed the room to Eric’s desk, pawing through the other boys' scrolls.

“I didn’t work on it in the library, I only worked on it here, at my desk. So it was never in my bag.” Leander stood and stretched out his back, his hand coming anxiously to rest on the back of his neck as his eyes swept the room. He got to his knees and looked under his bed, but there was nothing. “I’m going to lose my mind. First major assignment in this class and I’m going to fail it.”

Garreth couldn’t keep commenting on it. Leander’s nerves were rubbing off on him. He’d taken a massive risk and put his faith in someone else’s honesty, and it was eating at him. At this point, they’d pretty thoroughly searched the dorm, Leander was obviously still empty handed, and Garreth was antsy. He had to get Leander out of the door – out of Gryffindor tower – so MC would have a chance to find him and return this damn parchment.

“How about we head down to breakfast?” Garreth suggested.

“I’m not really hungry.”

“Yes you are, you never skip breakfast. Come on. We’re going,” he insisted. “It’ll do you good, getting your mind off of it for a bit.”

“You haven’t even showered yet, are you even ready to go?”

Garreth kicked his pajama pants off right there, nudging them with his foot over towards his bed just to get them out of the middle of the dorm room floor, then pulled on his trousers from the day before. “I’ll do it later, no point in showering yet when I’m just going to be getting dirty in a cauldron later.” 

Leander shook his head, the slightest smirk forming on his lips as Garreth pulled on a jumper and deemed himself ready to go. Leander wished he could be so carefree and unbothered.

 “Alright, you, let’s go then,” Leander said, and the pair of them started the walk down to the Great Hall.

Leander would admit, getting out of the dorm, conversing with Garreth and his other friends, and having something to eat was helping. He knew in the grand scheme of things, missing one assignment would not be the end of his world, but the fact that it wouldn’t come without consequences, when he’d done the bulk of the work, didn’t sit right with him. Still, he tried to enjoy the start of his weekend. 

Post came as Leander was finishing his morning tea, his plate of breakfast sitting empty in front of him, while he was deep in conversation about quidditch with his housemates – a conversation that only dissolved as the people around him started receiving letters and parcels. Leander had corresponded with his family only the day prior, so he wasn’t expecting the roll of parchment that landed where his eggs and toast had been only minutes prior.

Garreth could barely contain the grin on his face as he watched Leander unroll the parchment. Bloody hell, MC worked quickly. Leander had only managed to panic about his missing assignment for an hour before it was miraculously back in his hands. He couldn’t blow his cover just yet though, so he hid his delight with his teacup, feigning nonchalance. 

Leander’s mouth hung open, completely shocked and confused to say the least, but moreover he was relieved. Further unrolling the scroll, a smaller slip of parchment would fall into his lap. That wasn’t in there before…

Leander,  This is going to sound very strange, but a small brown owl brought this to me yesterday evening as I was sitting in the great hall. I thought you’d want it back. MC

“How in the world?” Leander muttered under his breath, staring at the note in his hands, then checking and double checking that the roll of parchment he’d just received was actually his missing assignment, because there was no way that MC should have had it. 

“Hm?” Garreth hummed, raising a brow and turning to Leander.

“MC has just returned my Ancient Ruins assignment… via owl,” Leander said, fully aware that the idea seemed impossible despite the note in front of him claiming otherwise.

“Weird,” Garreth said and shrugged. “Hey, at least it’s back now though, you can stop worrying.” 

“Yesterday evening… I was in the library. Was she– No, nevermind,” Leander fumbled through his thoughts, trying to decide what to articulate. MC couldn’t have been in his dorm, right? While he was gone? No. Garreth wouldn’t do that. He wanted to go over to her table and question her, but he could only picture how that would go over. Her friends would laugh at him, standing there being far too tall, tripping over his words as he asked where she’d gotten his assignment from. No. He’d send her a note, like she did for him.

Garreth noticed how pensive Leander was, and found it amusing. The other boy had more questions than he currently had answers to, but his plan had worked flawlessly, and now Leander had something to chat with MC about. As far as he was concerned, he could wash his hands of the situation and wait for things to play out.

~~~

Leander was on a mission of his own following breakfast. He jotted a note back to MC, sitting at his desk for far too long mulling over so very few words, but eventually, he had a note that he didn’t think would be too mortifying to send. A simple thank you, and some speculation about his owl. 

MC, You’re right, that did sound very strange. But I did need it back, so, thanks. A small brown owl, you say? Sounds like my Hoots, but I have no idea why he’d do such a thing… He was in the castle last night, though, the menace of a bird. Leander

Even though the exchange wasn’t face to face, Leander found himself nervous as he walked his note from the Gryffindor dorms all the way to the Owlery. He had to admit, though, the fresh air was nice, and the grounds still smelt pleasantly of rain from the day before. He just hoped the climb up the tower would be worth it, that his note would be well received and he hoped that maybe, just maybe, she’d reply again. He liked seeing his name in her handwriting.

Leander found Hoots easily amongst the other owls currently occupying the Owlery, as he was quite a bit smaller than most of the rest of them, and he approached his owl with crossed arms and an inquisitive stare. 

“I hear that you may have had an outing yesterday while I was in the library,” Leander began, raising his brow at the owl who craned his neck around, big round eyes looking innocently back at him.

“You’d tell me if Garreth was up to something, right?” 

Hoots could neither confirm nor deny.

“If either of you are up to something, I’ll find out,” Leander said in warning before producing his note for MC from the pocket of his robe and handing it to Hoots. “Take this to MC, please.” 

Hoots chirped, gripping the paper in his talons before stretching out his wings and taking flight, and Leander began his walk back to the castle with a fluttery feeling in his stomach. 

Back in possession of his assignment, Leander was able to get it finished before lunch, and it had felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He knew he stressed too much about his classes, but he wasn’t one of those students who could perform well on assignments or tests without putting in a lot of effort. But with the ordeal finally  behind him, he was able to enjoy lunch, and get back outside for a bit of afternoon Summoner’s Court with Garreth after the meal.

“I still don’t understand how she ended up with it, but I’m really glad she returned it,” Leander commented, pacing the board behind Garreth as the other boy lined up his pull.

“Of course she returned it, she’s a nice person,” Garreth said, then took another moment to check his aim before casting the summoning charm on one of the blue balls at the other end of the court. He earned himself a nice thirty points and smirked. “I’m getting better at this.”

“You are, thanks to me,” Leander boasted. He’d been practicing a lot since fifth year, as he was determined to not lose to MC again, should another chance to play with her arise. He liked showing off to his other competitors, though, too. He and Garreth played frequently.

“Anyway,” Garreth said with a roll of his eyes, watching Leander summon one of the red balls towards them. It rolled to a stop in the forty point zone and Garreth couldn’t be surprised. He was doing better, but he’d yet to beat Leander. “What’s it matter how she got it? You got it back in time to finish it up.” Deflect, deflect, deflect!  

“Yes, but it’s odd, and I don’t like it. I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to figure out how in Merlin’s name she got hold of it.”

Garreth shrugged, then took his second turn, one of his balls rolling up beside Leander’s red one for forty points. Damnit if Leander wasn't inquisitive, though. He had to change the subject. Thankfully, an owl gliding towards them made this easy. He pointed up at the bird and shouted, “Look!”

“Oi, don’t try to distract me while I’m lining up my shot!” Leander grumbled, fumbling his casting and only earning himself twenty points on his second turn. He hadn’t even noticed the owl, but he did notice the small roll of parchment fall at his feet just then, and his face heated up as he looked sheepishly back at Garreth. “Oh… sorry Gar.”

“Always assuming the worst of me,” he teased. “Well, what is it?”

Leander unrolled the small piece of parchment and his face continued to flush. “She wrote back, she replied to my note,” he said with a grin before reading the note.

Leander, Hoots? Well, that's a very fitting name for an owl. He’s a cute little guy, and surprisingly demanding for as small as he is. I was in the courtyard when he found me with your last note and he seemed offended that I didn’t have any treats on me at the time. Give him extra from me. MC

Leander read and reread the note. Was she teasing him for his owls name? It certainly sounded that way, and that made him feel warm. He’d apparently had a ridiculous look on his face, that he hadn’t even been aware of until he felt Garreth’s hand on his back, giving him a hard pat and snapping him out of it.

“Your face is as red as your hair right now, you know,” Garreth teased, trying to sneak a peek at the note in Leander’s hands.

“Shut up,” he grumbled and stuffed the note into his pocket before hopping off of the Summoner’s Court platform and heading back towards the front of the castle.

“Where are you going?” Garreth shouted. “We haven’t even finished this round!”

“I need to write her back!” Leander called over his shoulder.

“I’m ten points ahead, if you leave right now, I win!” 

“Congratulations!” Leander shouted back, and gave Garreth a wave. 

Losing a game of Summoner’s Court didn’t seem like such a big deal when he was exchanging little notes with MC after a summer of not talking to her. All the worrying and pining Leander had done over the last few weeks since classes had started back up felt silly now – she was joking with him and she wasn’t ignoring him. Maybe Garreth was right, maybe he had been making things harder than they needed to be. Leander knew he had a habit of getting stuck in his head, but acknowledging this issue was much easier than actually fixing it. Still, he was feeling very hopeful as he made his way back to his desk to write another reply.

~~~

MC hadn’t expected to spend her Saturday writing little notes back and forth with Leander, but she found herself to be thoroughly enjoying it. Something about it was fun, even with how simple and silly it was. It made her wish they would have exchanged letters over the summer, even though they were both to blame for not having done so.

Leander’s second note came as MC was practicing dueling with the training dummies in the clocktower entrance of the castle. There wasn’t an official crossed wands session scheduled for this evening, but really, one could never be too well practiced.

She was glad, actually, that she was only practicing with the dummy when Hoots found her, because had she been dueling a living opponent, she’d have surely lost the round due to distraction. Not to mention, if she was in a real duel, she’d have had to deal with a crowd of her peers seeing her go all blushy. More familiar with Leander’s owl now, she raised her arm, offering Hoots a perch, and the bird landed gracefully to deliver her note.

“I still don’t have any treats, I’m sorry. Hopefully Leander gave you some earlier,” she told the owl as she carefully unrolled the slip of parchment. 

MC, I’ll have you know, I named Hoots when I was 11 years old, so all things considered, I think I did well. It could have been so much worse, honestly. He’s quite spoiled already, but I did give him some extra treats since you were so ill prepared earlier, and I think he’s forgiven you. Hope you’re having a good weekend so far. Leander

She hummed warmly as she read his note, glancing at Hoots who remained perched on her left forearm. “He’s had you for quite awhile then, that’s sweet. And you’re spoiled, are you?” She spoke fondly to the owl, and couldn’t help but picture Leander doting on his pet. Hoots cooed happily, seeming to enjoy the attention before flying back off and out the open gates of the Clock Tower entrance. Both of Leander’s notes would accompany MC through the rest of her day, nice and secure in her pocket. She found herself peeking at them when she had moments to herself from then until dinner.

She was planning on writing him back, too, of course, she’d even thought of what she’d wanted to say as she sat at her house table amongst her friends in the Great Hall at dinner time. That is, until she saw him walking through the tall wooden doors and towards the Gryffindor table, because at that point all of her thoughts seemed to simply evaporate, and she just watched him with what was probably a very stupid grin on her face. 

But then he looked at her, and her grin didn’t seem so stupid because his own grin matched, and he waved at her. The whole thing was enough to catch her friend's attention, but the girls who flanked her sides were unable to trace her gaze in time. 

“Who’s got you grinning like that?” one of the girls asked, giving MC a gentle nudge with her elbow. 

Both of the girls were giggling, and MC’s face was getting redder. “Is it the same boy who’s been sending you notes?”

MC was suddenly regretting the small bits of information she’d shared with her girlfriends, because now not only was she being teased (albeit goodnaturedly) but he was watching, too. If MC knew Leander at all, and she liked to think she did, he’d be absolutely eating this up. Thankfully, though, she hadn’t told her friends who the notes were from, because she knew if she had, they’d never let her hear the end of it.

“Maybe so,” MC said with quite the coy smile, as she tried and failed to focus on the plate in front of her, though she knew her friends wouldn’t let her off that easily. 

“Has he been sending you love notes?” one asked.

“They are not love notes, they’re just friendly notes,” MC said, though no amount of insisting would convince the other girls, even though she was being honest.

“And your blushing is just friendly blushing?” the other teased.

“You both ought to remember this next time you find yourselves fancying a boy,” MC warned, feeling smug with her promise of eventual comeuppance before she’d realized…

“So you admit you fancy this mystery boy, then?”

She’d said a bit too much.

~~~

Leander had watched as MC’s friends teased her, and coupled with the way they’d looked at eachother, he knew it was to do with him. She was blushy and her friends were giggling and it was due to him. Even considering the way he had struggled with girls previously, Leander could acknowledge that this was a great sign, and he’d talk Garreth’s ear off about it as the pair relaxed in the common room that evening.

“I told you all you had to do was talk to her- erm, I mean, I guess passing notes does count, too. Still. Told you so,” Garreth said, sitting with his legs spread out in front of him on the common room floor, close to the fireplace. There was soot on his jumper from the day's potions experiments and he was flipping through his journal, expanding on notes he’d jotted down earlier about his findings. He’d been listening to Leander gush for several minutes at this point.

“You’re right, I’m not denying it, you do know what you’re talking about sometimes,” Leander admitted. He was sitting on the floor close by Garreth, merely watching his friend work and keeping him company. 

“I’d like that in writing, thank you,” Garreth said with a smirk, not looking up from his journal.

“Very funny. I hope she writes again tomorrow.”

“Better yet, you could talk to her in person. She isn’t that scary, she’s just a girl.”

Just a girl. Leander had heard rumors about things MC had accomplished last year, and he begged to differ. “No, I’m fairly certain that she is scary.”

“You already said I was right, might as well just do what I say,” Garreth said with a smirk.

“I said sometimes,” he clarified. 

They’d go back and forth for a while, until slowly the common room emptied as their housemates headed to their dorms for bed. As the room quieted down, Leander realized how tired he was, and he suggested that he and Garreth head to their dorm as well. Leander couldn’t lie, he was excited to get to sleep, excited for tomorrow to come already. If he could have another day like today with MC, he’d be happy.

~~~

MC had similar feelings when she woke up Sunday morning. Despite her friends teasing her, she was actually quite keen to keep sending back and forth little notes with Leander, and while she still wasn’t quite sure why on earth Hoots gave her his assignment of all things, she was glad it had happened, since it led to such an enjoyable day.

She took her time getting herself ready for the day, dragging her feet intentionally so she could have the dorm to herself as she sat at her desk to finally reply to Leander’s last note. She just wasn’t quite ready for her girlfriends to know who she had such a crush on, since she couldn’t say for certain that he felt the same… At the same time though, if their interactions in fifth year meant anything, she had a bit of an idea. He’d always been so adorably shy around her, fumbling his words while trying to boast. She’d found him endearing from the start and just the thought that he may feel the same had her grinning as she got to writing. 

Leaving her dorm, she headed straight to the Owlery, wanting to send his note before going to breakfast. She hadn’t walked to the Owlery so many times in one weekend since she’d arrived at Hogwarts, but she couldn’t say she minded it, the weather was pleasant and the path wasn’t as muddy as it had been the day before.

Immediately upon starting up the spiral staircase, MC realized that she was not the only student visiting the Owlery to start off the day, as she could hear a boy's voice echoing against the curved stone walls.. She hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but as she got further up the stairs, she could have sworn she heard the voice mentioned Hoots – a voice that didn’t belong to Leander. Curious, MC cast disillusionment on herself and made her way further up the staircase quietly as she could, until she reached the top and she could just peek onto the landing to see what was going on…

She’d been right. Someone was talking to Hoots. 

“You did so well yesterday, you know that, Hoots? I knew I could count on you to help me pull this off,” Garreth Weasley spoke proudly to Leander’s owl. 

MC held her breath, watching him hand-feed the owl a few treats from a small bag that he’d pulled from his pocket, before handing one of the school’s owls a letter to send off.  She quickly maneuvered up the last few stairs and to the opposite side of the room before Garreth crossed towards the staircase and made his way down. She watched out one of the many windows until she was sure Garreth was gone before finally lifting the disillusionment charm.

She marched right over to Hoots with a smirk on her face, shaking her head in disbelief at what she’d heard. 

“Conspiring with Garreth, are you?” she asked the owl with an amused scoff. “I wondered why in Merlin’s name you brought me Leander’s Ancient Runes assignment.

MC stepped back over to the stairs, sitting down at the top, she pulled a roll of spare parchment from her bag and hastily ripped off a section. Abandoning the note she’d initially planned on sending to Leander, she hastily started scrawling him a new one. 

~~~

Leander saved the seat next to him at breakfast that morning. It wasn’t anything new, Garreth always wrote home on Sundays, something his mum liked for him to do, and that Garreth did without fail. Leander had noticed quickly that Garreth was not the only one missing that morning though. He scanned MC’s house table, and she was not sitting with her friends as she always did. It was a shame. He’d been looking forward to seeing the way she blushed when she looked at him.

Post was arriving as Garreth returned from the Owlery. The other boy was grinning as he slid into his saved seat beside Leander, and he started promptly piling eggs and sausage onto his plate. Out of the corner of his eye, Garreth saw Leander reaching to catch a small roll of parchment as it fell towards him.

“She’s early with it, isn't she,” Garreth commented, quite pleased to see that MC had wasted no time writing to Leander this morning. He was feeling quite smug that his plan had worked out so well. He loved seeing Leander so happy.

“She is,” Leander agreed. It wasn’t a short walk to the Owlery, and the fact that two of her notes came with the morning post meant that she was up and thinking of him first thing in the morning, and that made Leander feel very good.

Leander,  This was meant to be a completely different note, but as I was taking it to the owlery, I came across something very interesting that I think you’d like to hear about. But I should tell you about it in person. Meet me in the library when you get this. MC

“Well?” Garreth asked, leaning in towards Leander a bit to sneak a peek at the note. 

Leander’s already rosy cheeks tinged a bit darker pink as he read the note. She wanted to meet with him in person. Him. No wonder she wasn’t in the Great Hall. She was waiting for him. He let out a breath of nervous laughter before gathering his words, hardly believing his luck. “She wants me to meet her in the library… right now.”

“Oooh, that sounds promising,” Garreth said, clicking his tongue and winking at Leander while giving him a nudge with his elbow.

“It does, doesn't it? She says she heard something interesting and she wants to tell me about it. Wonder what it could be.”

“Well go on, go find out, don’t keep a lady waiting,” Garreth encouraged, and with that, Leander was cutting his breakfast short and making his way out of the Great Hall, holding his head just a bit higher than usual.

~~~

MC made sure she wasn’t hard to find, waiting for Leander at the end of one of the centrally located long tables on the first floor of the library. She was eating an apple that she’d thankfully had in her bag, and watching the door. She hadn’t had to wait long, and she waved when she saw him.

Why was she so nervous? She’d been the one to ask him to meet her, and here he was, walking towards her, and the closer he got the warmer her face felt, until finally he sat down beside her, and the room felt so warm she was sure she’d melt.

“M-Morning,” Leander said as he slipped onto the bench beside MC. He sounded just as nervous, maybe even more so, and this made her feel better. 

“Hey, good morning,” she grinned, pausing a beat just looking at him, and probably doing so for a bit longer than she should have. His honey brown eyes dropped to where his hands laid folded on the table, like he couldn’t quite take the way she’d looked at him. She shouldn’t have glanced down at his hands. Merlin. 

She cleared her throat, her blush creeping up to her ears. “Erm, so I overheard something when I was in the Owlery this morning…” 

“Oh?” Despite being a flushed mess himself, it was clear Leander took pride in the fact that MC also had quite the pronounced blush on her face. He was also very interested to hear anything MC had to say.

“Garreth. He was talking to Hoots. He told him ‘you did so well yesterday’ and said ‘I knew I could count on you to help me pull this off,’” she said, then waited as Leander processed. 

His mouth was hanging open, and he stared at her with wide eyes. She could tell he knew where she was going with this. “He said that to Hoots? You’re sure?”

 “Positive. He gave him treats, too. Then he mailed something using one of the school’s owls,” MC said. “I should add… he didn’t know I was there. I cast disillusionment on myself when I heard him mentioning your owl.”

“You think–”

“Your Ancient Runes assignment–”

“He told Hoots to give it to you, that sly bastard! He was alone in the dorm with Hoots for a good hour and a half Friday evening while I was in the library, and we’d been talking about–” Leander paused, catching himself before he said anything that would embarrass him too much, though, he should have known, MC wasn’t going to let him get off without at least a bit of questioning.

“Talking about what?”

“It– it doesn't matter. I just know it was him. He put Hoots up to it, it’s the only explanation. He… he was trying to get you and I to talk,” Leander admitted.

MC looked just as surprised as Leander had, when she’d told him what she’d overheard. Surprised and delighted. “Was he, now?” She asked with a raised brow and a bit of a smug grin.

“Yeah. He was.” Leander nodded, knowing he should be more forthcoming, but that felt very daunting right now, even with the way MC grinned at him. Damn did she look pretty like that. He knew she was smart, though. She could put the pieces together. 

“Well, it worked,” she said and let out a huff of amusement. 

“It did. I suppose I can’t be too mad at him, can I?”

MC shook her head. She could tell Leander was likely leaving out some details of what he and Garreth had talked about Friday evening, but context gave her enough to go by. If Garreth had wanted them to talk, so much so much so that he went and mettled, they must have been talking about her. Leander had wanted to talk to her. He’d just needed a little encouragement.

“You know, I was worried that you would think I somehow stole that assignment,” MC said, still quite amused and also quite flustered. 

This had Leander grinning, knowing she’d been just as worried about the whole situation as he had been. He was less nervous when he spoke now, smiling at her and talking with his hands as he often did when he was a bit worked up. “When I tell you I wanted to pull my hair out, looking for that damn roll of parchment Saturday morning. I thought I was losing my mind, and I felt even more crazy when you of all people sent it back to me, by owl, no less,” he rambled then shook his head subtly, still almost in disbelief of how it all happened. “And Garreth – that little shite – he helped me search our dorm!”

MC laughed, just picturing the scene playing out as he described it. Bloody hell did her laugh do things to his heart. Leander felt light inside, and he chuckled with her. 

“I’d have loved to see that,” she said, still giggling softly. 

“I imagine it was probably pretty entertaining to watch,” he agreed, looking fondly at her.

“I’m glad you didn’t pull your hair out, though, I rather like your hair,” she added, grinning at the way her compliment made him blush. 

Leander could feel his heart racing. “Th-thank you, I’m glad I didn’t, too, then.”

There were a few moments of silence between them, and their mutual little giggles calmed down. MC’s face softened and when she spoke again, she sounded a little more serious. “You didn’t have to be nervous about talking to me, you know,” she said. She was going out on a limb and making some assumptions, but given what he had said, the fact he was sure Garreth’s intention had been to get the two of them talking, she was fairly confident in her assertion.

“Yeah… that’s what Garreth said, too,” he said and smirked coolly, despite the fact that his stomach was fluttering madly right now.

“Well, he was right.” 

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Leander said and looked around, just making sure the other boy hadn’t sneakily followed him– he wouldn’t put it past him, if he was being honest. He hummed thoughtfully. “But I suppose I won’t be so nervous in the future.”

“Good, because I’ve really enjoyed this – writing back and forth. Talking with you. You better keep sending me notes.”

Leander was beaming. She enjoyed talking to him, she wanted more notes. He’d write her more notes than she’d know what to do with, if it meant she’d keep looking at him the way she was – blushing and smiling and flirting with him. Bloody hell, he owed Garreth majorly for this. Sixth year was going to be a good year. “Don’t worry, I will, I promise.”