#and it just has me feeling weird to have had someone joke about it
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mminghaos ¡ 18 hours ago
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best friend seungcheol whom you have a crush on, but never told him. he doesn't know it either and y'all just bicker all the time as bsf, one day all of it changes when you finally say you found a match on some dating app. he realises it and bam! hot and heavy shit go down.
bitter crush , choi seungcheol x f!reader
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SYPNOSIS: your bestfriend doesn’t know you’ve had a crush on him for years, but when you mention matching with someone on a dating app, everything changes.
WARNINGS: smut, fingering, kissing, teasing, mingyu as the failed date lmfao
requests are open, do send some in!!
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you’ve been friends with seungcheol since high school, watching each other grow up — first jobs, first kisses, and everything in between, sticking together through the highs and lows. your friendship is built on bickering and teasing each other like it’s second nature. but now, the bickering feels different.
“i matched with someone on that app i told you about,” you say, placing your coffee down on the wooden table of the café you and seungcheol are sitting at.
you’d decided to give a dating app a shot, hoping it would help you take your mind off seungcheol. maybe meeting someone new will help you move on, or at least distract you from the constant thoughts about him. but so far, it’s just more of the same — swiping, chatting, but none of its ever seemed to match the energy you share with him. you might as well move on, since seungcheol has is own hookups and girlfriends, and none of them will ever be you. its frustrating, the way this burning crush for him is always shimmering beneath the surface, gnawing at you. this is going to be the death of you — that’s what you always tell yourself.
“so you’re telling me you’re out here swiping on strangers?” he responds, his voice laced with something you can’t quite place. “what happened to the whole ‘not needing anyone’ thing?”
“it changed.”
“really? that’s weird.” he says, his eyes never leaving you. “thought you were too busy to deal with anyone new.”
you roll your eyes, trying to brush it off. “yeah, well, apparently im not as busy as i thought.”
you’ve never been the type to casually date or get involved with someone just for the sake of it. but lately, things feel different. seungcheol’s always been there — constant, reliable, and annoyingly perfect in his own way — and it’s hard to ignore how your thoughts always circle back to him, no matter how many times you try to push them away. you’ve never said it out loud, never let him in on the truth of how much he’s been occupying your mind, and the idea of dating someone else? it almost feels like a joke. you’re not really here for some random guy who doesn’t know you like he does. but the more you try to distract yourself, the more you realize how little it helps. no matter how many matches you get, no conversation ever seems to compare to the effortless back and forth you share with seungcheol. it’s like you’re chasing something that doesn’t quite exist, and each swipe only makes you feel more frustrated. but you can’t exactly admit that, not to him, not to anyone. so you keep trying, hoping maybe this time will be different, even though you know deep down it won’t be.
“so, who’s this guy?”
you shrug, trying to keep your voice steady. “kim mingyu. he’s nice. we’ve met a few times before, actually — works at that bar down the street.”
seungcheol leans back in his chair, his arms crossed as he watched you. he clears his throat. “just don’t pick some random guy who doesn’t get you, alright?”
“what, are you jealous or something?”
“no.”
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the date with mingyu went well. you two got along really great — there was no shortage of conversation, and the chemistry was comfortable. you both enjoyed the meal and found common ground in ways that made the evening feel lighthearted and easy. it was nice, actually, to just relax and enjoy someone’s company without any pressure.
even if the date was good, you and mingyu both agreed that you should just be friends, neither of you feeling the sparks you were hoping for.
you walk into your apartment, slipping off your shoes and placing your keys under the mat. its quiet, the only sound being the soft hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. you head towards the living room, where seungcheol is sprawled on your couch, sorting through the groceries he offered to pick up for you earlier this week.
“you’re back early,” he says, glancing up with a smirk. “thought you were gonna be out all night with your… date.”
you roll your eyes, not really in the mood to talk about it. “it was fine,” you reply, shrugging as you drop your purse on the counter. “nothing special.”
seungcheol raises an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. “really?”
you let out a breath, trying to sound casual. “yeah, well, turns out i’m not as interested as i thought.”
he tilts his head, looking at you like he’s trying to figure you out. “what do you mean?”
you hesitate, leaning against the kitchen counter, fingers tapping against the countertop. “we got along, i guess. but we just decided to be friends.”
“huh.” seungcheol shrugs, clearly unconcerned, though there’s something in the way he watches you that makes you pause. “so you’re saying you don’t feel any connection with him at all?”
you shift, rubbing the back of your neck. “it’s just… not there. but whatever. i’m fine.”
“you sure?” seungcheol presses, his voice dropping an octave, and you can’t help but notice how close he’s sitting now. “because i’m sure someone else would love the chance to—”
“ugh, please.” you cut him off, trying to brush it off. “i don’t need some random guy to be interested.”
he smirks, clearly not buying it. “really? sounds like you do.”
you bite your lip, trying to hold onto your patience, but it’s slipping through your fingers. you know he’s teasing, and usually, you’d laugh it off, but tonight feels different. there’s a tension in the air that you can’t ignore, something that’s been building for years. frustration bubbles up inside you, and before you can stop yourself, the words spill out.
“cheol, i like you, okay?” you blurt out, your voice trembling slightly, surprised by how easily it all comes rushing out.
he pauses, his eyes narrowing slightly as he processes your words. there’s a moment of silence, and you feel like you’re about to suffocate under the weight of it. his gaze flickers to your face, then down to your hands, then back to your eyes, as if trying to figure out what’s really going on.
“wait,” he says slowly, his tone less playful and more cautious now. “you’re not drunk, are you? had drinks or something when you were out?”
you quickly shake your head, trying to steady your breath. “no, i’m not drunk. i just—” but the words feel clumsy on your tongue, and suddenly, you’re unsure of how to take them back.
“i shouldn’t have said that,” you mutter, your cheeks burning with embarrassment. “this was stupid, i’m sorry. i don’t even know why i—”
you start rambling, trying to downplay the confession that’s just slipped out. each word feels like it’s digging you deeper, and you just want to take it all back. “i mean, i don’t even know what i was thinking—this is—god, i’m so—”
but before you can finish, seungcheol pushes himself off the couch and walks towards you, stopping just a few inches away. his eyes still lock on yours. the silence stretches, and you feel your heart race, your breath catching in your throat. you want to say something, to apologize again, but all the words are caught in your chest.
“stop,” he says softly, his voice low, but there’s an intensity in it that you can’t ignore.
you open your mouth, wanting to explain, to take back the awkward confession, but the words jumble in your mind. “it’s just… i didn’t want to make it weird, and now i’ve probably ruined everything—”
seungcheol doesn’t say anything, just watches you with an unreadable look in his eyes, waiting for you to stop rambling. you go on anyway, trying to explain yourself, even though you can feel yourself getting more flustered with each passing second.
before you can continue, he steps forward, his hand gently cupping your face, cutting off your words. you freeze, eyes wide, but before you can process anything, his lips crash onto yours, effectively silencing you.
the kiss is deep and urgent, like he’s been holding back too. your brain barely registers what’s happening as your hands instinctively move to his chest, but the tension that had been building between you both for so long snaps. everything goes quiet in your mind, and for the first time tonight, all the chaos and nerves fall away, replaced by the heat of his kiss.
the kiss lingers for a moment, intense and raw, as if neither of you wants to pull away. your breath mingles with his, the world around you blurring until there’s only the feeling of him so close, so real. your heart pounds in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears, and you can feel the tension in his body as he holds you just a bit tighter, as if he’s afraid you might slip away.
when he finally pulls back, you’re left breathless, your forehead resting against his as you both try to catch your breath. his hands are still on you, one gently holding your face, the other resting on your hip, grounding you.
“you really don’t make things easy, do you?” he murmurs, his voice a little hoarse, the teasing edge back in his tone, but it’s softer now, more affectionate.
you don’t trust yourself to speak right away. all the words that had been stuck in your chest before are now lost, replaced by the overwhelming feeling of him so close, his touch still lingering on your skin. instead, you look up at him, meeting his eyes, trying to make sense of everything, but before you can say anything, he smiles slightly, a genuine, soft expression.
“i didn’t realise how much i liked you until you told me about that guy,” he admits, brushing his thumb over your cheek gently. “i was too stupid to notice.”
you dont get to reply because his hand moves down your back, pulling you closer, your chest pressed against his. the room feels warmer now, charged with something you can't ignore. your hands find their way to his chest, pushing lightly at first, unsure if you should pull away or let it happen. but he doesn't give you that chance.
his lips return to yours, but this time, there's more urgency in it, his kiss deepening as his tongue brushes against yours. you let out a soft sigh, the tension that's been building between you two for what feels like forever finally snapping. he groans, his hand moving to your neck, holding you in place as he deepens the kiss further. the heat between you both grows, and you can feel every inch of him pressing against you, making your pulse quicken.
seungcheol's voice is low, almost a whisper as he takes a step back, hands resting on your waist, grounding you both. "do you want to keep going?" he asks.
you nod, your heart racing, but your mind is clear. “yes.”
he doesn't say anything more, just nods and gently takes your hand, leading you through the apartment. when you get to your room, he lays you down on the bed gently, his hands never leaving you.
seungcheol hovers over you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation, any sign that you’re unsure. you can feel his body close to yours, the warmth radiating off him. “are you sure?”
“yes, cheol.” you let out a light laugh, pulling him closer. “im sure.”
his lips trail down your jaw, each kiss softer than the last before he moves to your neck, his teeth grazing slightly over the skin. you let out a soft sigh once he pulls back after reaching where your shirt starts. before he can say anything, you’re reaching for the hem of your shirt, pulling the fabric over your head.
seungcheol takes a moment, his gaze lingering on you before meeting your eyes again.
“you’re so beautiful,” he says, unclasping your bra and slipping it off. “god.”
his hands find their way to your pants as he trails kisses down your chest, each one growing more desperate as his lips move lower. the warmth of his breath against your skin sends a shiver through you, and you can feel your heart race with every gentle press of his lips.
eventually, he pulls your pants off, discarding them somewhere on the floor behind him. “please.” you breathe out
“hmm?” he responds, his fingers slipping just under the band of your panties. “what do you want, baby?”
���need you inside me, please.”
he glances down at you, lips twitching up into a smirk. “patience.”
“no, no, no— cheol, please—” you whimper out.
“don’t worry, you’ll get what you want.” he cuts you off, pressing a light kiss to your collarbone.
when he finally stops teasing you and pulls your panties down, tossing them god knows where, you’re already a mess underneath him. every nerve in your body is on edge, anticipation building as he slides two fingers through your folds. “fuck, you’re soaking wet for me, baby.” a low groan escapes his lips, his restraint wavering as he fights to hold himself back.
he slowly pushes one finger into your pussy, giving you a moment to relax before he adds another and starts to curl them into all the right places.
“cheol!” your head falls back against the pillow, hand going to grab his wrist for some sort of stability.
“yeah, you like that?”
you’re already so close — just from the way his fingers move inside you, hitting every spot that sends sparks shooting througu your body.
you nod over and over again, hips rising to match the rhythm of his movements. “don’t stop— fuck— please, im so close.” 
your breath hitches, and you clutch at his arm, desperate for grounding as the sensations overwhelm you. every stroke of his fingers feels like its pulling you closer to the brink, and the tension in your body winds tighter with each passing second. “please—” the word slips out as a whisper, barely audible. your legs start to shake, the pleasure coursing through you almost too much to bear.
before you can even warn seungcheol, you’re coming undone all over his fingers, hips bucking up at the same time.
“god, thats so hot.” he mutters, but you’re too out of it to know if its to you or himself.
"you alright?" seungcheol asks softly, his hand resting on your hip as he looks down at you with concern. his touch is gentle, almost hesitant, as if he's checking for any sign of discomfort.
you nod, your breath still ragged, a soft smile tugging at your lips. "yeah, i'm good. just... didn't expect that." your voice is breathy, the lingering effects of the moment still making your body tingle.
seungcheol smirks, clearly pleased with the reaction. "you sure you're not too overwhelmed?" he teases, his hand moving to brush a strand of hair out of your face.
you laugh softly, the sound shaky but genuine. "im fine" you reply, looking up at him with a playful glint in your eye. "was that your way of saying you like me too?"
“it was.” he smirks, eyes locking onto yours. “think you can go for one more round?”
he really is going to be the death of you.
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ohboyhowdybuckaroo ¡ 6 hours ago
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👉👈 this inspired me, so i wrote a thing. hope this is okay. if not, just let me know and i can delete this post.
Satoru doesn't think the people in his life really get it, y'know?
Yaga had always been heartless and cruel, so his betrayal came as no surprise to Satoru. "He's been gone for almost a decade now, Satoru. You have to let it go." Like it was possible for Satoru to do that-- to just let go of something-- of someone so tied to him that he might as well be woven into Satoru's DNA and embroidered on the surface of his soul. His fingerprints weren't just tattooed on Satoru's skin, but branded him in every single place he so much as brushed his fingertips.
So, no, Satoru couldn't just, "let it go," Yaga. Satoru thought that advice was so hilariously wrong that he started laughing and didn't stop laughing loudly enough to drown out Yaga's bonus terrible advice on the way out the door until he was out of sight.
"Satoru, you can't drop a special grade curse on someone else just because you and Suguru ate at a restaurant near there," even though Satoru told Yaga it was the first place they ever actually hung out and talked after a mission without trying to rip each other's head off. They were stranded while the manager in charge of them busied himself with getting a popped tire replaced. Thus, Satoru couldn't go there yet! It was too soon. Not when he could still remember the way Suguru laughed at a joke that Satoru couldn't remember the setup or the punchline of now even though he came up with it. All Satoru knew was that it made Suguru smile and that was all he needed. It was too soon for him to go there even ten years later. He might need another decade or two before he stops seeing ghosts out of the corner of his eyes that mocked him with the familiarity of their smile.
And Megumi-- Well, Megumi stopped answering Satoru's calls a while ago. You know how kids are at that age. Middle school is a tough time! It wasn't for Satoru, of course, because he succeeded at everything he did. (Except for... one thing. Satoru swallowed to get rid of the lump in his throat.) Megumi, though? He definitely had a weird enough face that people would want to bully him. Satoru knows because he looks at that face at least once a week and has the urge to give him a noogie or shove him in a locker. The bullies wouldn't stand a chance, but that could still set the tone for his year.
When Satoru did get the chance to talk to Megumi, he always said something so rude, like, "This isn't my business. Stop talking to me about it." Or, "Stop showing up here. You aren't welcome," when Tsumiki herself welcomed Satoru in for dinner.
Nanami wasn't much better. "Stop following me," was his go-to when Satoru found him outside of his boring, new office job. "He slaughtered an entire village. You coddle him too much, even now," was Nanami's go-to when Satoru so much as bothered to mention his missing best friend.
It's funny. Satoru could remember Nanami saying that same thing to Suguru while referring to Satoru when they were still in high school. It was like he stepped into a reality that developed wrong. It had to be the worst timeline if Satoru could be accused of coddling Suguru for once.
Satoru knew what Suguru did. Of course he knew. He could remember being devastated when Yaga stopped him to tell him what happened. He remembered how it felt to have his world crumbling around him in excruciating detail when Suguru, his Suguru, turned his back on him. Suguru was the only person in the world who could make Gojo Satoru feel so small period, let alone in so few words.
Shoko, to her credit, was unbothered by anything Satoru had to say as long as he didn't get in the way of her work. Satoru often found himself in the morgue with Shoko when he wasn't out exorcizing curses. Occasionally, she might kick him out when he got particularly distracting, but that wasn't the case today. He sat behind where she stayed standing. Shoko stood before a table and prepared to open up the newly-deceased corpse that was brought in not even an hour ago.
Satoru was slack in his seat on the bench against a wall that only seemed to have a use when Satoru was in there. His head was tilted up, but Satoru wasn't looking at anything. His eyes were closed and he could see Suguru's face glued to the back of his eyelids. At least Suguru hadn't been able to make the morgue more of a downer than it already was by taking himself away from it. Shoko and, by extension, Satoru only gained access to the morgue when she came back with a fraudulent degree. That was after Suguru left. Funny how Satoru's life felt like it's been split into two parts: before he left and after he left.
"I'm just saying. The higher-ups are wrong as usual. Suguru," Satoru's mouth cradled the name like it
👉👈
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astro-stars ¡ 13 hours ago
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lions dont purr (TWST)
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The Savanaclaw common room was a chaotic yet oddly cozy mix of noise and motion. Beastmen lounged on couches, joked loudly, and occasionally wrestled in good-natured bouts of strength-testing. Yuu had somehow found themselves in the middle of it all, seated cross-legged on a large, well-worn rug as they watched the dorm dynamics with mild amusement.
Leona lay stretched out on one of the larger couches, looking as uninterested as ever, his tail flicking lazily over the edge. Ruggie was nearby, munching on a snack he’d probably swiped from the kitchen, while Jack sat beside Yuu, arms crossed, quietly observing the room.
“You’re quiet today, herbivore,” Leona drawled, not even bothering to open his eyes.
“Just thinking,” Yuu replied, their tone casual.
“Dangerous pastime for someone like you,” Leona teased, earning a small chuckle from Ruggie.
Yuu ignored the jab, their thoughts bubbling to the surface unprompted. “You know what still bothers me?”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “What?”
Yuu sighed dramatically, leaning back on their hands. “That lions don’t purr. It’s so disappointing. Like, you have this giant, majestic creature, and you tell me it can’t make the cute little purring sound cats do? Feels like a rip-off.”
The room fell silent for a moment before Ruggie let out a bark of laughter. “You’re upset about that? Really? That’s what’s been eating at you?”
“Yes!” Yuu said, sitting up straighter. “It just doesn’t seem fair. You’ve got all the cool lion traits: the roar, the mane, the strength. Why not purring too? It’d be the full package.”
Leona cracked one eye open, looking at Yuu with a mixture of amusement and incredulity. “You’re ridiculous, herbivore. Why would I need to purr? Roaring gets the job done.”
“But roaring isn’t cute,” Yuu countered, crossing their arms. “Imagine how much more approachable you’d be if you purred. People wouldn’t be as scared of you.”
Leona smirked, sitting up slightly. “Scaring people is kind of the point.”
Jack frowned thoughtfully. “I think it’s a biological thing. Lions use roars to communicate over long distances. Purring’s more of a domestic cat thing, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, yeah, I know the science,” Yuu said, waving a hand dismissively. “It still sucks, though. Imagine cuddling with a lion and hearing it purr. It’d be perfect.”
Ruggie laughed again, his grin wide. “Prefect, you’ve got some weird priorities. But hey, maybe you can train Leona to purr for you.”
Leona glared at Ruggie, his voice a low growl. “You’re pushing your luck, hyena.”
“See?” Yuu said, pointing at Leona. “Growling is close, but it’s not the same. You could totally pull off a purr if you wanted to.”
Leona rolled his eyes, lying back down. “Keep dreaming, herbivore.”
Jack shook his head, though a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You really do think about the strangest things, Yuu.”
“Hey, someone has to,” Yuu said with a shrug. “Life would be boring otherwise.”
As the conversation shifted to other topics, Yuu couldn’t help but glance at Leona’s still form, half-hoping to catch him purring in his sleep. Some dreams, they figured, were worth holding onto.
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TAGLIST: @soramcduckahyucky @lunasmisosoup
DIVIDER: me!!
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loving-family-poll ¡ 3 days ago
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2nd Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 2
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Propaganda under the cut
Liam/Noel:
The Gallagher brothers have a very intense relationship that doesn't make any sense to the outside viewer unless one considers the possibility of incest. For 30 years now they have been utterly unhinged about one another in the public eye. Noel has often made incest jokes; Liam once said on-stage once "we had sex last night" referring to him and Noel. Even people writing in actual books and magazines have picked up on the vibes (some stuff that has been printed about them fully feels like it was written by tumblr incestinas except it's like. actual fucking journalists). Also there was this one time in 1996 where they kissed each other with tongue in front of 40 thousand people.
They have been described as “in love with each other” by both themselves and third parties. the lyrics “you’re my lover, i’m your brother.” they kissed with tongue at loch lomond in 1996 and have also been photographed/videoed kissing on the mouth other times. liam regularly groped noel onstage. liam’s entire twitter is just propaganda too. liam talked about impregnating noel once. noel frequently talks about how physically attractive liam is. liam claims that he’s noel’s muse
their song guess god thinks im abel has the lyrics "i could be your lover" while comparing themselves to you guessed it abel and cain. and like. a thousand more instances of them being weird about each other. also noel REALLY wanted a sister and he mentioned it quite a few times and said well liam IS basically a sister or something like that. normal behaviour
Liam literally called himself Noel's good boy on twitter, and called him god a few times after reunion. Noel said he loves make women cry and the only thing that's better is make Liam cry so he can laugh and call him a woman. They literally kissed with tongue and loch lomand is not their only kiss they have two more photos of different kissing to, they literally used the japan kiss video for reunion video. YES THEY DID THAT TF. Noel said they are head over heels in love and said it's illegal in many countries. Also Noel said Liam is like his ex-wife a few times or shit like those cunts are fucking crazy
Other people have described them as more like boyfriend/girlfriend than brothers and said they’re in love. someone on twitter asked liam “if you’re john lennon, who is noel?” and liam said “yoko ono.” another time someone said on twitter “you defo rimmed noel when you were younger” and liam replied “you jealous?"
Deeply weird about each other getting married (them not attending each other's wedding which occurred month apart and then getting divorce around the same time and they stayed at the same hotel for months), intense infamously love-hate relationship and is everyone's favorite soap opera, noel saying "on stage i just wanted him..there's only two of us that will ever get this", prominent theme of shame and crime and impossible dream in noel gallagher works, the elusive meaning of wonderwall which noel insisted is not about anyone but there's good amount of evidence that it referenced back to their childhood and their shared bedroom, liam having mental breakdown several times on twitter about noel, liam's my brother is getting a divorce playlist to which he shared with his 3 millions twitter followers, incest-baiting on main ever since the reunion, brother and lover being interchangeable for noel when writing lyrics, noel (allegedly) lying to liam that his girlfriend cheated on him in order to sabotage their relationship before oasis took off, liam hating noel's latest (ex) wife (sarah), noel writing "the owner of the star on stage" after liam's autograph and so many more insane shit
"[Liam] thinks all the songs are about him. He even thinks Wonderwall is about him." –Noel Gallagher (1997)
"It's all about me it always was and is" –Liam Gallagher (2023)
Japan kiss (kiss is at the end) loch lomand kiss
PLUS they’re back together after 14 years of estrangement! The narrative!
Alexia/Justine:
Sisters that are the emotional center of the movie. They 1) share the cannibalism gene as a metaphor for sexual/freaky desire, 2) have a 'waxing the other's pubes' scene, 3) biting chunks of flesh out of each other scene, 4) a showering off the blood together scene, 5) subtle kissing with a glass between them because 'you're my mirror and i'm codependent with you' scene, 6) sibling-type power play in general that includes a sexual interest proxy. And yet nearly no one talks about them, helppppp
there’s a scene where they’re biting each other’s faces and it literally looks like theyre making out. they hurt each other and spite each other but they always patch each other up after it’s over. there is a scene of them showering with each other, washing the blood off after alexia ate justine’s boy toy. alexia covered it up when justine ate her finger. they hurt each other so bad but they keep coming back to each other.
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cxvii666 ¡ 21 hours ago
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"GIRLS"
college au! denki kaminari x reader
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cw: recreational drug use, bad language, sexual tension, wet and messy public handjobs, men whimpering
wc: 2.5k
loosely inspired by the dare's album "what's wrong with new york?"
girls that's mean just for fun, i like girls who make love, but i like girls that like to fuck
THAT'S WHAT'S UP
"she doesn't like you, y'know."
denki gasped semi-sarcastically, like its obvious that you don't like him and anyone with eyes can see that but it still shocking to hear out of his best friend's mouth.
jirou turns to him with barely concealed mirth in her eyes and she looks up from her phone where she'd been texting momo, asking for her whereabouts.
they were at a party, a sleazy rich kid house party, one of momo's friend's sisters' or something like that. the kind that involved lots of expensive alcohol, shitty bass music, and sweaty hot rich kids that did too much coke and no survival instincts or a general sense of humiliation. one guy had already thrown up twice, two girls had passed out, someone's boyfriend had punched someone else and denki was absolutely fucking loving it.
he and jirou had smoked some good shit with hanta after pregaming and had enter the party at its pinnacle, completely crossfaded. the good kind that makes you feel like hot shit, like you're the baddest on the planet, and that you could fuck anyone you wanted if you tried hard enough.
that was about two, maybe three, hours ago.
he hits the vape he stole from jirou and scrunches his face at her.
"where even is momo?"
he's chosen to dodge the topic. the topic of you.
he only knows you as one of momo's ex talking stages. you run in the same social circles mostly and somehow, you're still amicable, friendly infact, its some weird sapphic thing that denki doesn't get. how you're friends with jirou, denki really doesn't get. like how can jirou be friends with her girlfriend's ex-situation?
well that's what he thought.
until he met you.
and wow.
you're across the kitchen from him now, chatting it up with some guy you just met, and he's laughing at something you said because you have this effortless wit and charm about you that everyone in your vicinity can sense. it rolls off you in waves, your aura is so attraction, so is your hair, and your eyes, and your smile, and the dress you're wearing-
and now you're looking at him, or maybe at jirou, yeah never mind, you're looking at jirou, and before he knows it his best friend is whacking the back of his neck.
"you're staring," she teases in a singsong voice, fucking annoying habit that she stole from him and just for that he snatches her drink from her and downs it in one gulp. "hey, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
denki fake gags slightly before smiling all teeth "you never answered my question, when's your girlfriend getting here?" jirou rolls her eyes at his obvious diversion from the topic "i want her to make me that weird drink she makes with the tequila.... and i'm pretty sure i left my lighter in her car."
"momo won't care y'know." she looks at him with full seriousness and nods in your direction. "you should be more worried about how you're gonna talk to her."
denki says nothing in reply, only sighs and send jirou an affirmative hum so that she knows he's not being pissy and ignoring her.
his eyes cut to you again, the guy you were talking to has gone back to the friends he came with and you're pouring yourself a drink.
and jirou was right, by the way. at first you didn't like him, he laughs too loud at his own jokes, bums cigs off of everyone and everytime you've seen him in passing, at parties like this or nights at the club when jirou's band plays, he's always chatting someone up.
girls of all kinds, tall girls, small girls, girls that do drugs, girls with dicks, blondes, brunettes, gingers, white girls, black girls, brown girls.
you wondered about him. there's gotta be something that he's doing right, because from what you've heard from momo his cool guy persona is simply that, a persona, and he's actually a massive loser who spends most of his time playing pokemon go or holed up in his room watching anime. so how he can pull so many baddies, most of whom speak of him fondly, is a mystery to you.
but damn, he is cuteeee.
like cracked, horny, stoner, twink that would probably beg for it cute.
and you're obsessed.
that's the real reason why you've been throwing shade at him all night, making sly biting comments, getting into dumb senseless arguments, you're playing with him, working him up slowly, and he's enjoying it.
but contrary to popular belief, denki is not the sleazebag everyone thinks he is. sure he's had a few flings with a few friends, drunken nights never spoken of again, and there was that one time where a girl he slept with lied to him about having a boyfriend. but like, aside from that, he's not like horrible.
and momo is his friend, and idk, isn't flirting with her ex kinda weird, and won't you think its weird that he's flirting with you, and omg, what if you think its weird??, and you actually don't want anything to do with him, and this highly charged game made of mean banter and heated stares, is actually just a game and he's been reading all the signals wrong, and you actually don't want him, and he's gonna have to jerk off so hard tomorrow morning to forget about you because the look you gave him after you called him a senseless idiot for spilling vodka on the counter early was sooo hot and he-
"you're spiralling."
jirou rolls her shoulder and starts riffling through her jacket pockets, probably looking for the vape denki has concealed in his right hand. she pauses and looks at the blonde before sighing. "momo's here. she's got your light." she gets up off the counter and pauses. "and maybe drink something before you smoke, you look like you're about to vom all over the floor or somethin'."
"you dirty bitch, i am not nervous, i swear you're so-" jirou leaves him in the kitchen with a resounding cackle and goes out into the main house to find her girlfriend.
the sound of jirous laughter calls your attention over to denki, who's attention you already had, he'd been counting the piercings on your right ear, and a smirk creeps onto your face, as you pick up your cup and make your way over to him.
"do you have a staring problem?" straight to the point, your voice so close to his ear it makes him jump. "huh, oh, what?" he splutters "staring? me?? why would i be staring at you, of all people?"
the red on his cheeks makes you snort and you regard his fake non-chalant lean against the kitchen counter.
"well that's what i'm trying to work out," you say as you inch closer practically caging him in, still keeping direct eye contact.
his breath hitches slightly as his eyes lock onto your own, determined to win whatever game it is your playing, despite the twitch in his jeans.
you're so close you practically taste his breath, he smells like bud, expensive foreign perfume and bubblegum, your hands splayed either side of his hips creep closer to him.
denki can hear the gulp he takes when your hands finally make contact with his body, your thumbs just slightly grazing his outer thighs, he thinks he might actually have a fucking heart attack or something. he keeps his eyes on yours, but trying to centre himself in your gaze seems to have been the wrong decision to make because the way you tilt your head and smile so innocently, like you don't know what you're doing, is sending him to space. and it's your smile that makes him blink and drop his eyes entirely to the curve of your lips, just for a second.
you notice immediately and let out an obnoxious 'ha!' before reaching up and plucking the joint that he had tucked behind his ear, and yeah it was part of the fit, the pink rolling paper matched his shoes, before taking a step back from the blonde.
he responds to your laugh with a scoff and a roll of his eyes which makes your smile grow even wider. you hide this as best you can by taking a sip of your drink effectively finishing it. he looks at you, amber eyes regarding you curiously, like he's awaiting instruction.
"you wanna go out back?" you smile cheekily brandishing your prize, "go smoke this baby before jirou gets back?"
he sniffs and stands at his full height, stuffing his hands in his back pockets before nodding to the exit. and you lead the way to the garden with a giggle.
"it's not my fault. you're the poser walking around with a joint and no lighter." as you finally stamp out then end of the joint. you'd just had to beg some snotty marlboro gold smoking guy for the use of his lighter. "honestly it was more of an accessory than a zoot, you didn't even roll it well."
"you're so mean to me," denki flushes, honest to god his voice sounding more like a whimper then anything else.
you scoff at him. you're not mean, this guys just an idiot, generally easy to make fun of, and has the most adorable reactions whenever you take the piss out of him. you can't help yourself. he's so easy practically throwing himself at you, demanding all of your attention all night and then whining like a kicked puppy and retreating back to hide behind jirou when you don't give him the response he's looking for.
"oh, i'm sorry," you ask soflty and the change in attitude gives him whiplash. "are you alright, denki?" he's growing crossed eyed as he watches your lips getting closer to his.
his knees buckle "yeah, just uh, my iron deficiency."
you pull away to raise your eyebrow about to make a sarcastic remark when he surges forward and captures your lips in his. your hands travel up the back of his neck, and the way you thread your fingers through his hair makes him groan into your mouth. you push against him effectively pining him against the cold stone wall, and he just takes it, lets you control the momentum of the kiss, like he's in the middle of a storm just being thrown around and carried by the waves, and he's fucking loving every second of it.
you swear once you break for air, your lips plump, and wet, and juicy, and soft, and he's already diving back in, he needs more of you. more of your taste, fuck, you taste so good, your lips are so soft and syrupy against his, he feels like he's melting into to your hands.
"careful," you murmur directly into his ear and he keens as you grip his hair tight and tilt his head back to give provide acces to his bare neck.
"please, please, please, please, fuck."
you tug harshly on his blonde locs, his eyes fluttering open at the feeling as you hold his gaze. "what do you want denki? use your words."
he can't think of how to reply, not with your right hand itching at his scalp and your left hand drawing circles on the skin above his waistband. "oh god, i don't- i don't even know- i- fuck."
your left hand has dropped, finger only slightly grazing the front of his jeans but it's enough for him to whine so prettily in your ear and cant his hips upwards into your palm.
"fuck, please-"
you cut him off by mashing your lips into his, he accepts gratefully pouring every inch of his desire into your mouth.
"you're so desperate."
he's nodding, he wants you so bad, your hand feels so good even through the layers of fabric covering his most sensitive parts, but its like his skin is on fire, and the only thing that can put it out is your touch. his hands run along your torso, his finger only just brushing over your nipples, enough to make you gasp into him, as he wraps his arms around your body to deepen the kiss.
as good as this feels, the sounds he's making, the whimpers leaving his lips as he grinds into your hand, are increasing in volume and your entirely conscious of the fact that you are outside, out the open, for anyone to hear or see.
you hiss out his name, but just hearing your voice turns him on more and you have to grip his face with you fingers for him to stop moving and pay attention.
"if you want me to keep going," punctuated by a squeeze to his jaw, "then- look at me when i'm talking to you, then you're gonna have to shut up." your gaze is so intense he's nodding before he's even fully comprehended the words you've said.
his pretty amber eyes roll back into his head as your hand finally slips underneath his boxers and you grasp his hot, sticky, dick with your cold soft hands. "oh wow," you snicker, "you're so messy."
your words make denki whine, silenced by a stern look before he pouts. "what so you can talk but i can't even-, oh fuck-" you squeeze him, the weight heavy in your hands.
"yeah, because you're leaking all over my hand."
he holds in his whine this time cussing under his breath and looking at you. his pretty face obscured by strands of hair all wild and messy sticking up at odd angles. his lips are pink and swollen, drool threatening to spill out of his mouth, cheeks flushed.
"that's not fair," he hisses at you but you remain largely unbothered by his attitude as you thumb his tip. "you're teasing."
"i'm not doing anything, you're the one that can't keep it together."
"i-" he starts but you pick up speed and cover his mouth with your free hand so he's free to buck and whine all he wants.
"look at you, are you gonna finish like this? i've barely even touched you."
its like your words are directly fuelling the grind of his hips, he humps against you furiously, drool spilling all down his face, soiling that hand as well. like he can't help but make a mess in all directions.
you can tell he's close when his eyes start fluttering and his body starts twitching crazily.
your hand drops from his face, quickly wiping the drool onto his tshirt before snaking your way back up and applying light pressure to the base of his neck.
that does it for him as he comes with a whine of your name, followed by jagged breath and the crazy stutter in his hips.
you give him a second to catch his breath before you start tearing into him about the mess he's made and about how he better not have gotten any cum on your dress.
"always complaining about something, i swear," he rolls his eyes and before you can bite back he slips your cum soiled fingers into his mouth and runs his tongue along each individual finger before giving a hard suck. you watch him mouth slightly agape, and the pulsing heat in between your thighs makes itself apparent to you.
"you are such a slut." he grins mouth full and you press down on his tongue. "you wanna get outta here?"
heyyyyyy guys sorry ik i said i'd do part 3 of dealer reader WHICH WILL COME but this was a random burst of inspiration i got last nigjt when i was omw back from the last sesh of the season before all my friends fuck off out of london but and one of my mates is super obsessed with the dare and made us listen to the whole album while we were out on the field ANYWAYS IK U DONT CARE but this was so yummy and juicy to write so i hope u enjoyed 😝😝😝😝😝
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doginurbloodstream ¡ 2 days ago
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i am bive from regretevator!
i dont particularly miss the regretevator universe.. i do enjoy the game though
i know two infected fictionkins, one of which is also unpleasant gradient and poob!
id say im a 3/10, i tend to be a very rational person (i think)
bive is unlabled mspec but wlw and im aroace transmasc
my fictionkin identity doesnt really effect daily life, if at all. it has to be triggered by specific bive related things. the closest its gotten is wanting to yell out "me" whenever the npc me entered the elevator while i was playing with my friend, who does not know im a fictionkin, so there was like an awkward pause where i stopped myself, and then yelled bive. there are random bits of dysphoria i guess, i dont like talking in third person, but its mild and i can get past it.
my fictionkin experience is mainly unpleasant (gradient) unfortunately. shifts are euphoric but also stressful. i tend to have to consciously ground myself a bit, because i have felt like im being watched in the past. i knew/know i wasnt, i just couldnt shake the feeling. i mean coming up with theories for the game where i can just completely let lose is fun, however it is saddening that i will probably never come up with a real one.
death note, touch tone telephone (i was based on that song so its not surprising), and i recently realized the backrooms does too. theres more im not thinking of
im not sure, its not psychological and i think dont believe in most spiritual things. its probably a multiversal thing, but i dont know from there so i usually just say unlabeled.
i do experience shifts! they are always triggered tho, thankfully. i dont get them too often. the first two shifts i had were me being paranoid abt things (the very first one was very out of control, but i was sleep deprived and depressed at the time). the second time i talked about two questions ago. i didnt have any shifts for awhile after that until i my plushie arrived, and i stayed up quite a bit just missing mediamates. that was rough. my later shifts were triggered by trying to come up with theories for the game, altho i wasnt aware i was shifted, until later, i thought i was just excited. the theories were really unhinged, and i thought i was a genius. it was rly fun tho. harmless shift. today i had a brief shift, i was looking at a bive fictionkin stimboard, and there was like a liminal space gif + music was playing, and it looked.. all too much like the lab. i started crying a bit, even tho i do not think have kinmemories, but it ended pretty quickly cuz my friend msged me a joke and the shock value got to me lol. ive also had phantom shifts, but not much recently. i may have had tail shifts, but its difficult to differentiate between kintypes
my media is regretevator on roblox! i do cringe at it sometimes tbh.
when i see fanart, it sort of feels like it was made FOR me specifically lol. what i know abt my canon heavily aligns with the fanon designs so thats cool. when it doesnt align i do feel a bit off tho- like no, that isnt me. you got it wrong. ironically this happened with a recent canon update, when they added melanie WHO IS DEAD. she was supposed to BE dead and STAY dead. and then also, why do i welcome her back?? why am i so friendly?? i mean i get that shes like friends or smth with split, but i just dont trust her. i have no reason not to, i just dont. that is WRONG. you. NO. get OUT.
ooh ooh! i like this question. i have a large, reptile-like (but hairy) non-prehensile tail! my hands and feet are clawed, with only 4 digits. for my feet i have like thumb things coming out of my heels, similar to a bird. i likely am very similar the upcoming remodel, but i cant confirm as i have not seen it. i just know im not a roblox character, and the previews of splits remodel feel very familiar.
ah.. ships. i dont see much of them outside me n split. if i do i just think its a bit weird, and move on. i wish i was seen as more than just someone who likes her. theres more to me. the majority of bive fans are mainly spive fans. i decided to look myself up on tumblr and i was just flooded with shipart. there is MORE TO ME. I AM MORE THAN HER. PLEASE SEE ME FOR ME.
in current lore me and split have feelings for each other (cant relate, im aro, but spive is in my canon tho) and are GOING to confess but that has not happened yet. i feel kinda weird abt it since i have very mixed feelings on romance, but i think we are a thing in my canon, because MY GOD I MISS SPLIT SO MUCH. I MISS HER.
Alex's fictionkin ask game!
(mostly for fictional characters)
🌲 - what is your fictotype?
🪲 - do you miss your home? Or maybe you're happy that you're here?
🐸 - do you have any sourcemates? If yes, who/what are they?
🌳 - in scale 1-10, how are you similar to your canon?
🌿 - does your fictotype have a different sex/gender identity than your body/you?
☘️ - what aspect of life does your identity affect the most?
🪴 - is your fictionkin experience unpleasant or enjoyable for you?
🍃 - what reminds you of your fictotype? (E.g.: a figurine, a doll, a tv series)
🌄 - on what level is your identity? (E.g. spiritual, psychological, psychical)
🐢 - do you experience shifts? Of yes, how do they look like?
🥝 - what is your source?
🐛 - how do you feel about fanarts of you and fanfictions?
🌵 - do you look exactly like in your source or do you look different? If you do, then what is different?
🥀 - what do you think about ships with you?
🦕 - do you have/had a loved one in your source?
♪♪♪
So, yeah, that's all! :D
Reblog this, so the others can ask you questions or answer them all right now, if you want to :>
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ladylucksrogue ¡ 2 days ago
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I was going to wait til Monday to post a bit of this, you know for mental health Monday but I decided to roll with it now.
I don’t post a lot of real life things here because this tends to be my little fandom safe space where I love posting my fandom messiness and thirsting over clones and posting my fanfic.  But I have noticed a lot of peeps that I interact with are going through a rough patch.  Post Holiday blues, January blues…something.  It’s rough out there, especially in the real world.
Went through a bit of a slump myself.  Prior to the holidays, I did up my writing plan for all my WIPs.  It was very…ambitious for lack of a better word.  Like damn, I know I can write a lot in a session but we’re talking like a fic a day and that…just hasn’t happened.  So, when I missed a couple days of writing, I was hard on myself.  I hold myself to impossible standards sometimes and forget to give myself space.  
I was pretty hungover on January 1st, the wine got to me a bit more than usual and I just wasn’t feeling writing at all, though I did push myself to write a few words.  I was able to post my New Years story a couple days later but I remember posting and thinking this is shit.  This isn’t your usual, though it’s not terrible in retrospect.  I just…it got to me.  So instead of following my crazy plan I focused on some drabbles and doing Whumpuary, which is thankfully every other day, so it gives me a bit of space.  I have been working on my next installment of my fix-it, which the first scene is light hearted and it’s been fun but slow going.
Had a bit of an epiphany a couple days ago, because of a comment someone said.  And it sent me into a bit of a tail spin.  An angry tailspin that my hubby had to catch the brunt of.  He is fabulous though and just rolls with it, lets me rant and knows that I’ll feel better for it.  Someone in our extended friends group cracked a joke about me not working yet and how I’m just enjoying sitting around at home.  It was meant to be light hearted but it hit wrong on so many levels.
I lost my job last year due to a company restructuring.  It was sudden and I was really angry at the circumstances of it.  And more importantly, because it was the second job I had lost in two years to no fault of my own.  But I still gave myself the fault in all of it.  There was a time where I really struggled to hold down a job for a variety of reasons after I got out of the military, and every time something like this happens, it digs up a bunch of stuff from then…
But the fact of the matter is, since losing my job a lot has happened healthwise and I am actually on disability.  As of right now, I can’t work.  It’s something that has been a long time coming and the timing just happened to work out.  At the same time, people who know react one of two ways, oh but you’re fine, you don’t look sick, why can’t you work, or they start on some BS about must be nice, etc.  I won’t even start on the whole who is deserving and mooching off the government stuff, because I will just make myself upset.
It isn’t nice.  For someone who has worked all their life, I would much rather go to work every day than sit at home.  Weird but true.  And I feel doubt and second guess this and wonder if I can go to work and all this is just me being weak, etc.
Comments like that from people don’t help at all.  And then it happened, the moment of clarity…because usually I’m fine on most days.  And then I was working on a scene, got up to make myself some coffee and I had a moment.  There was a sound in my apartment, no clue what it was, but it set something off in my head and for a good moment, I had this really disorienting moment of not really knowing where I was, like half in a memory and half in the present and trying to sort it.  It’s happened before.  I have PTSD, an autoimmune condition, and a whole list of things, so the amount of times something has gone wrong suddenly is long.  But I’m standing there at my kettle like nearly going into a panic attack and managed to calm myself down and sort what happened.  Had this happened at work, I would have had to go sit somewhere for a bit, wasting work time to pull myself out of it and then pretend to be productive for the rest of the day.  Because, in the immediate aftermath of this, after I calmed down, I was dizzy and exhausted and just done.  No energy left.
And the fact that I was home allowed me to go take a nap for a couple hours and reset so to speak, which is probably the best and most effective way I have found in dealing with a PTSD attack.  It works for me personally better than any med they have given me.  Can’t do that working.  Not to mention, if someone is next to you when stuff like this happens, most people are not willing to understand.  You are immediately judged and ostracized (in my experience) because you do not fit into society’s mold.  
But after all this, it made me realize that I need to give myself a bit of grace.  To allow myself moments to feel bad.  To focus on myself and be accepting.  I think it is a big part of self-care we all forget.  Like even people that don’t have medical conditions or diagnoses need to remember.  We all cannot be perfect and productive always.  Sometimes we need a break.  We need to allow ourselves that.
Especially during this time of year, when stress is high and people are frustrated.  We just all need to give ourselves a pat on the back, take things a day at a time and practice a little acceptance.  Like if we finish that chapter or art or whatever in a day, that is fantastic.  On other days we might not do much of anything, and that is ok too.
This is in no way a message saying I am taking a break btw, so no worries! To those who follow my writing, I am here and writing, just on my own time. So at times, I'll probably post a bunch at once and other times, it'll be a bit slow going. Also, keep asks and interactions coming, absolutely keeps me sane and happy to keep interacting!
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spacemancharisma ¡ 1 year ago
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stonecoldspaghetti ¡ 21 hours ago
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I do 100% agree with these tags too. There's a lot about redemption I like (Breanna and Harry, Leverage International, the crimes reflecting a lot of more modern scammers and grifters). I even like a lot of what they did with Parker, like her and Hardison relationship development or her stepping back bc she knows Sophie emotionally needs the control of being the mastermind.
But you're right that a lot of the complexities of the characters in the og have been warped or exaggerated for the sake of it (flanderised, i think?) and to me, Parker has born the brunt of that.
Hardison and Eliot and Sophie are still mostly themselves (though I do have opinions about the backstory they're crafting for Sophie and how, in some ways, it actually contradicts the og).
For Parker, doing things she enjoys in settings considered odd (repelling in the back room of the restaurant) and being "too into" her craft (enjoying being in vents) we're things that also had the practical purpose of keeping her skills sharp. While she was oblivious, episodes like the White Rabbit Job showed that she did have emotional awareness and maturity, like shown when she does her best to help Sophie with her grief.
Her doing wacky things just for comedy undermines the character, like if Eliot was violent against the team for jokes. Part of his character is that he understands physical limits and is more than *just* a hitter. He does react physically to things (like pushing is a one I remember a few times) but it's never enough to genuinely hurt someone and it emphasises part of his character.
Parker pickpocketing and lockpicking and climbing for fun and in her off time was for comedy, sure, but it was part of her character. You slow her down or let her skills get rusty, and she can't function as a thief. But these new things aren't about her learning new things or expanding her character. She's just being "weird" because she's always been the "weird" team member. Not because she thinks differently from others and has her own internal logic, but because she's weird and immature.
I don't know if I actually said anything new here, and I do genuinely enjoy a lot of Redemption, but I wanted to expand my viewpoint on why this makes me feel weird.
I once saw someone saying that in Redemption, the team basically have superpowers, and that feels true to me. Every con in the og could be pulled off by anyone with the right skill, maybe an insane amount of skill, but still.
Also it feels like they took Parker from realistic (if possibly accidental) autistic person, to doing weird things for the sake of it. Like stabbing watermelons for no reason and going to a child therapist? They took away a lot of her maturity.
Here is the thing about Parker. In Leverage, she does some wild stuff. She is written in such a way that she is absolutely not neurotypical. Which means, she isn’t great at social situations (Juror Number 6 Job). She copes in a certain way (There are so many options for this actually). She doesn’t like when her routine is disrupted (Mile High Job, Ice Man job). But all of those things that make her ✨quirky✨ and a little bit insane are a mask. We actually know that she is incredibly observant. She does have emotions and we see them play out in a lot of fascinating ways. She is mature, BUT she chooses to act a certain way as a protective measure for herself. We KNOW that she can handle actual situations. So when she doesn’t have to be entirely serious, she will be a little bit weird so that she can still protect herself.
Redemption is not that. Redemption has her just being a little insane for the sake of being a little insane. Redemption doesn’t know what to do with the incredibly complex characters it picked up. They fundamentally misunderstand them and it just comes off as Parker being insane little gremlin.
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forestgreenlesbian ¡ 10 months ago
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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kavehater ¡ 9 months ago
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I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness
#There’s this specific part of the song#It srsly alters my brain chemistry#Anyways#i hate tumblr sm#Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm#No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much#Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely#Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D#The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏#Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it#The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc#To show her how messy it was ….#I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone …#Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th#Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious#And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei#It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking#To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I#Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia#And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games#All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car#Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke#Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon#Like me go mad with all these things#Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up.#dora daily#Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable#Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more#Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing.#Essay tags 😻😻😻
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anotheruntitledsong ¡ 9 months ago
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i did like the hidden palace but (SPOILER if anyone hasn't read it?) i'm genuinely so annoyed at how Arbeely is handled like... I wish i could be sad but i'm just fucking irritated. I was overly invested in him and that's def why but i just feel like they did him dirty
#the golem and the jinni#i was scrolling goodreads and the take i kept seeing was 'oh I wish Arbeely could've had his family too bad the jinni FUCKED IT UP'#but idk that's just not how i read him. like thats not where i feel the problem is#his whole shtick is being content as the jinni's foil and like! things can change! but the way it's done leaves him totally unresolved#which in turn means the jinni's shit is also never getting resolved because there is like no way to#when Arbeely describes his future family in the first book it's all 'someday... vaguely...' and AGAIN! what you want can change!#and honestly it's really interesting and sad that he makes this sacrifice for the jinni#but it's a layer of complexity that like clashes with how little he is there for and how little the author's invested in him#and like the way the no marriage literally did not ruin his life at all... sure it sucked but the man is still like idk rich#what has continuously fucked with him throughout both books is that he wants (or at least spends half his page time thinking about)#emotional connection to the jinni in a human way#which is something the jinni cant\wont give him even though he's basically Arbeely's only close friend#(besides ig maryam who was rlly funny hinting at her dislike for the jinni like someone trying to get their friend to dump their toxic bf)#anyway the vibe in the first book is that he only thinks about wanting a wife when the jinni is being a dickhead#BECAUSE the jinni eases arbeelys loneliness by just being there because at the end of the day that's what humans need#but then it's made really weird in the second book by Arbeely getting 'trapped' by the jinni (and yet they just grow further apart)#which means that the only thing arbeely actually spent half his life discontent with and then literally died without is not a wife#it's emotional intimacy with the jinni. which is insane to me#arbeely is obviously already tragic but this seems TOO tragic entirely because the book doesn't give af about addressing it#if it was like a plot thing then all of the above would be fine and gutwrenching because it ties back into the jinnis self isolation#BUT IT'S NOT. like i get arbeely isn't that important to the plot but he was important to the jinni and the jinni was important to him#alsoo necessarily disclaimer i'm not trying to say he's in love with the jinni or anything like that#although a queer arbeely (divorced from the above idea) would also been interesting cuz I dont think the jinni has a grasp on homophobia#so idk theyd be keeping each others secrets (arbeely x the biscuit man? JOKE)#BUTTTT! I don't believe he needs romantic energy! him and the jinni having awful vibes up until arbeely's literal death is what bothers me#The jinni is a bad communicator ik but come on... not once? not even before the diagnosis? The jinni also thinks about how distant they are#could they not talk a little? for me? there are ways to do it within the bounds of their characters FOR SURE#im sure this is the point but i do dislike it either way. anyway sorry arbeely u remind me of my uncle#the hidden palace
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fappellmoan ¡ 1 year ago
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something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.
#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love#what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it#why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties#of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often#so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk#and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore#i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them#. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec#but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd#but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE.#OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL.#and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness#but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart.#this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it#that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too#and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch#now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it.#because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do#something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope#and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude#this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post#ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting#all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever
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todayisafridaynight ¡ 2 years ago
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Especially because in the end... Arakawa loses his son in small ways that just Accumulate... but Jo's the one who even gets to outlive his son... AUGH. THROWING MYSELF INTO A WOODCHIPPER
Also while going through old messages, I saw I actually had a dream back in 2021 that Jo came back in LaD8. I mean sure he had "longer hair" and "a new outfit NOBODY liked except me" and was Unserious like RGGJo whereas in the actual teaser he sounds more depressed than ever but I'm still taking credit alright... the vision came to me...
And in a Hell Will Freeze Over Before This Happens I Just Like To Think About It way. I want him in my goddamn party and I have for all of Y7 so it's not related to the new game. I don't care. I want to find out what his favorite flowers are I want to take him to Every Movie and get his commentary on all of it I want to take him out to eat and watch his little itadakimasu animation play out I want to have the most light-hearted and inconsequential conversations and I want him to chime in I want to exhaust every option on his Drink Link I want to unlock his sickass tag-team moves I want to wear True Hero and fight by his side I want to shower him with so much love and affection he won't know what hit him (<- channeling Arakawa tbh)
its just insane because from a metaphorical sense arakawa 'outlives' masato in that he becomes aoki and like. That's One Thing, but then Of Course. There's Jo. //stuffing my mouth with wet cement// like OHHHH the pain never stops it never ends,,
mate i think your brain was just tryna manifest RGGJo to make a come back through y7 ☠️☠️ CREDIT WHERE CREDITS DUE THO BUT DAMN would have been. THE MOST interesting change to his character though.... on the real.... because yeah he just sounds so tired from the trailer so far (;´д`)would be hilarious if instead of entering a Super Depression arc bro's just. Yeah Alright Fuck It. What Can We Do Now Amirite. walk right out the cell with the white suit and snake-patterned lapels and all ☠️☠️
OK BUT MOST VALID RANT EVER. MOST VALID WANT EVER. would really just have the vibe of dragging your jaded uncle around the city i would died to have that,,, 😭😭
#snap chats#ON THE REAL THOUGH JO PARTY MEMBER WOULD'VE MADE ME YELL#it too is a part of my This Is Guaranteed To Never Happened But What If wish list.....#i still stand firm he shouldve at least been left with tendo for five minutes. JUST FIVE THEN EVERYONE ELSE CAN COME IN#first he necks his boss then he fucks up his office like LET HIM. GET A FEW SWINGS IN. it's what he deserves i think...#BUT REAL PLEEAASSE I WANT THE SAWASHIRO SOCIAL LINK GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW SEGA#id die and throw up because you just know he and ichi'd have to talk about arakawa at some point during it...#if the whole SL not JUST being about meetin arakawa or his early days in the family#also forgive me for calling it 'social link' i unfortunately played persona a lot years ago and just. Its A Social Link ok ik im a monster#persona's one piece of media that was crucial to my developmental years its in my dna now...#IN ANY CASE NOOOOO I COULD SIT AND THINK FOREVER ABOUT JO MAKING LITTLE COMMENTS...#its my mental illness... its my weakness i think..... just thinkin of silly scenarios...#see while im cringe at being intelligent i AM adequate at making funny scenarios... hehe even...#its a dangerous thing to put an idea in my head as Creatively Ambiguous as that one oh no i feel my brain being eaten alive already#PLEASE I NEED THE PARTY TO REACT TO JO 😭😭 IN A NON VIOLENT SITUATION 😭😭#i hope when jo's forced to be in social settings he's just Weird. like not Weird weird but its painfully obvious he's never had friends#like he just doesnt know what to do with himself the closest friend in age he has is adachi and He. Is Definitely A Character (affectionate#i hope theyre all out to lunch and someone makes a lighthearted joke and jo takes it too seriously and one other mate gotta just#'my guy relax. it was a joke. see [explains the joke]' and bro just Hm..... Not Funny Didn't Laugh about it right#he's not gonna flip the table now at least#UGH why would you remind me of the timeline of jo being a party member. im gonna drive myself mad thinkin bout it (;´x`)(;´x`)#ITD BE SO SWEET JUST SEEING JO BE NICE FOR FIVE SECONDS. NOT EVEN 'NICE' JUST CHILL#jo karaoke wouldnt exist but it'd be cute to at least see him in the crowd...#I REPEAT IM GONNA THINK OF LIL SCENARIOS LIKE THESE ALL DAY NOW NOOOOOO im ruined 😔
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gifti3 ¡ 6 months ago
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today i think about how some men really think all (or at least most) women just dont like sex at all and it still kinda shocks me that they genuinely believe this! being in fandom spaces from a young age the type of shit ill see women saying about some fictional character or actor even has me flabbergasted at times
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all4yoi ¡ 5 months ago
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𝒥ust a bet﹕hyung line
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𝑒nhypen x fem!reader ︎︎⚹︎ cw: angst, no fluff (yet), reader is mostly viewed as a loser and nerd, lowercase intended, kinda went overboard with hoon's, reader gets called a bitch once, not proofread!
sypnosis﹕after a few months of dating, you find out you were just a bet.
part two !
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★ LEE HEESEUNG (wc 0.3k)
you and lee heeseung has been dating for a total of five months, and throughout those months you can confidently say that you were the happiest. he was the perfect boyfriend, his family loved you and so did yours.
today, heeseung promised he would take you on a date after his basketball practice despite your protests on how he should be resting instead. you wouldn't have agreed if it weren't for the fact that he had shot you with his pleading big doe eyes that never fails to make you agree on whatever he asks for. 
so here you were, making your way towards the gymnasium with your bag hanging on your left shoulder. the lack of dribbling and smacking basketball noise from behind the closed doors told you that their practice was done.
entering quietly out of habit, you were about to approach your boyfriend when you overheard his teammates talking to him.
"don't tell me you're still with her?" asked one of boys, an amused smile on his face. heeseung only raised a brow.
"what? you won the bet, you can dump her now. you're ruining our image you know? plus she's a total nerd and loser, you're much better with someone like yunhee." and with only just a few words, you felt your world crashing down.
right, who would date someone like you? you always found it weird, that heeseung just approached you one day in your biology class with the cheekiest smile on his face. the fact that he wouldn't leave you alone until you've agreed to go on a date with him. it all made sense now, why the popular basketball captain suddenly gained interest on the school's "biggest nerd."
"speaking of.." another guy spoke, nodding towards you with a cheeky smile. heeseung turned around only to be met with your glassy eyes.
you didn't move, wanting to hear him defend you. wanting to tell his teammates that you weren't a bet and he actually liked you throughout the months you two have been dating.
his silence said everything and with that you turned away and ran out of the gym.
"shit." he muttered, running after you.
★ PARK JONGSEONG (wc 0.3k)
"i'll pick you up later, okay?" your boyfriend of almost a year said softly through the phone. you've been dating jay since the first week of your first year in uni, others found your relationship weird. maybe because back in high school, jay never and refused to even spare you a glance. he was an asshole who looked at you as if you were the epitome of disgusting.
but the past is in the past now, right?
"okay baby, see you." you reply and put your phone down on your table, knowing that he's usually the one who ends the call.
you go back to the papers scattered on your table. the silence in your room was disturbed by sudden noises in your phone, turning to look, you see that jay hasn't ended the call.
picking your phone up with a smile, you were about to call out for him but a voice stopped you.
"i can't believe you've gone this far dude." you recognized the slightly muffled voice, it was a friend of jongseong's.
"what do you mean?" your boyfriend grumbled. the audio was muffled, you figured he was moving and the phone was in his pocket.
"you're still dating her!" the voice exclaimed, as if amused. "seriously, i didn't think you'd take that bet seriously. fine you win, i'll clean your car for a month. but you've gotta cut it out, you're starting to disgust me." the boy laughed.
before you could hear what your boyfriend would say, you ended the call. your hand was trembling and tears were falling from your eyes unconsciously.
were all those months just a joke to him? were your feelings really worth a free car wash for just a month? were you that unworthy?
jay was an asshole back in high school, you thought he changed. turns out he didn't, you felt like a fool for falling for his antics.
★ SIM JAEYUN (wc 0.3k)
if someone would be asked who you were, they'd all say the same thing. a loner, pathetic loser, and a nobody with a pretty face.
because what was a pretty face if you had no friends and a social life?
you almost believed you would die alone, you were too socially awkward to make friends. so when sim jaeyun, the transferee, approached you with a warm smile and a hand outstretched for a shake, you were beyond shocked.
your relationship went from being block mates, friends, then next thing you knew you two were dating. at first you were reluctant to enter a relationship, scared that it would ruin your friendship, but he insisted you both tried. that was three months ago.
you didn't have any friends, but atleast you had jake.
jake who smiles at you as if you had carved the stars in your hands. jake who would never forget to bring your coffee every morning. he was everything you ever needed. he was it for you, you only hoped he felt the same towards you.
walking through the hallway of the school, you stopped infront of your locker only to be met with a sticky note on it.
HOW LONG CAN JAKE LAST WITH LOSER L/N?
A WEEK : 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - III
FIVE MONTHS : 卌 - I
A YEAR : II
Furrowing your brows, you stare at the note as your breathing grew heavy. It was obvious that the paper was old, it had folds and it was only stuck on your locker with a washi tape.
"what are you doing l/n? go on, cast your vote." a mocking voice said from beside you followed by a bunch of laughter. "personally, i thought he'd last a day. i guess i'll vote for five months then." then the hand went and tallied on the five months category.
"what's going on here?" upon hearing your boyfriend's voice, you fled away immediately, not wanting to face him. everytime something good happens in your life, it's always ripped away from you. jake was just like them, you were just a toy for their own entertainment.
★ PARK SUNGHOON (wc 0.5k)
"i'm sorry baby, i really am busy with practice tomorrow." your boyfriend, sunghoon, says in genuine sorry. it was the fifth time you have asked him to meet your parents, who also by the way was so desperate to meet the boy you've been dating for seven months now.
every time you ask him, he's always busy. either with practice, a project, a family matter, or whatever excuse he can come up with. but you always brush it off, knowing he means well and he really is busy as he's an athlete student.
"i'll meet them next week, okay? i promise." that's also the same thing he says everytime too, and once again, you only nod in response.
you and sunghoon met in a physics class. he was clutching his head with a frown on his face as he desperately tried to understand what the professor was going on about.
you remember clearly the way he approached you in the library, a physics book on his left hand as his right scratched his nape. "can.. i noticed- uh, can you help me with this topic?"
that was where your relationship started. you tutored him and helped him improve his grade. when he got an A on the finals, he kissed you on the lips in glee. he was taken aback by his own actions but nevertheless asked you out after.
"i love you," he whispers, pressing a kiss on your temple. "let me get something from my room." you hum in response as he takes his arm that was previously wrapped around you before going up to his room.
you can't help but notice the way his phone was blowing up from beside you.
you weren't the type to snoop around other people's phones, especially your boyfriend. it just felt wrong, you trusted him fully. but the way it kept ringing with text notifications, you just couldn't help it.
looking back to the stairs, you note he isn't back and there was still rummaging noises from his room.
taking his phone, you enter his passcode and read the messages from one of his group chats.
JONGSU
lol don't tell me she asked again.. em ba rrah sing
DAEHYUN
hahah when is she gonna take a hint?? 💀
JOON
you gonna blame her? hoon's been at it for months lmao
DAEHYUN
i actually can't believe he went that far, wasn't it only supposed to be for a month? 🗿
JONGSU
a week actually, but ig that bitch y/n was so easy. yk hoon likes to get his ego fed 💀💀
putting the phone down, you exhaled in disbelief. you took your bag from the floor and threw it over your shoulder and went to the door of his apartment to put your shoes back on.
"baby?" sunghoon emerged from the stairs, looking at you curiously. "you're going already?" he asked, extending an arm towards you but you slapped it away. the tears on your eyes shocking him.
"hey, hey what's wrong?" he tried again but his hand was yet again slapped away.
"i don't want to see you ever again." was the last words you uttered to him (shakily) before leaving his apartment.
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