#and it is kinda hard for me not to feel like you're dismissing me bc im vegan. idk. maybe you didnt look atmy profile. its just that plenty

[snekdood]

idk but personally imma give bessy the working cow a great life and recognize her beingness while also not taking for granted or undermining her utility.

[melodic-haze]

Can I ask about sub Arlecchino being fucked with a strap-on in his office? I love your writing and sub Arlecchino is so... 😩

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Arlecchino x dom!fem!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Mommy kink 😜 aka reader is the 'Mother' figure to Arle's 'Father' ahahahahahah, reader with a strap referred to as a dick, overstimulation, semi-public? It's in her office so

☆ — NOTES: THANK YOUUU OMG I'M HAPPY YOU LIKE MY WRITING ANON❗️❗️SORRY THIS WAS ROTTING IN THE ASKBOX I had to do some stuff 😭😭😭 but it's okay bc I come back with a VENGEANCE

Ohhh dude the thing that just popped into my head you're NOT READY (delusional)

While she thought that battling her own children + the Traveller was the best move, it had kinda very much irked you. "I had trained them, it's fine," she says dismissively at the time when you confronted her and something inside you just kinda! Snapped!!!

If a Father has to have a hard hand on his children, then a Mother contrasts that by giving them a gentle touch

That DOES mean that you are to put anyone who threatens your children in any way, and Arlecchino is NO exception whatsoever

And what better way to punish her than to give her a taste of her own medicine in.. a different context?

One hand grabbing a fistful of her hair as you pushed her head down on the desk and the other clenching onto her hip as you moved her on your length, you're drilling into your lover relentlessly despite the slurred sobs that she had let out.

She had cum so many times by now, you didn't bother to keep count after the third time. Through that, however, you hadn't even entertained the mere thought of stopping, only reluctantly doing so when you ran out of stamina or needed to drink water—it's not as if you let her catch her breath as you did so, with the vibrator you had shoved into her at max setting whenever you needed to step away.

Your assault hasn't relented in the least, no matter how many times Arlecchino begged you to stop, no matter how many times she said to do better, no matter how many times she pleaded for you to go easier on her.

"Why would I give way to lenience when you hadn't done the same?" You mused coldly as you continued to plow into her over and over again, "You deem yourself exempt to my wrath, Peruere?"

You feel her try to shake her head in response before quickly following it up with a slurred defense, "N-No, 'm nn-- mmng! Not.. I--"

You clicked your tongue and gave her ass a loud smack, which earns you a garbled moan from the one underneath you, "You can't even form coherent sentences because of something you initially regarded as an 'unnecessary' action.. but that's okay."

The auditory mixture of her excess of slick between her thighs, your skin coming in contact every time you bottomed out inside of her, the pornographic noises that escaped her lips... It was all downright sinful, something completely unbecoming of her position.

But right now, she didn't care less. Or couldn't, more like, considering the complete lack of thought in her head. The only remaining thing within her mind was you and the way you put her in her place.

And the both of you knew that she relished the feeling of having things out of her control.

"You don't need to answer me," you continued, leaning down to press a kiss on the back of her neck.. before shoving her face down roughly as you straightened back up, "you just need to be put in your place, baby. Understand?"

You actually receive a desperate nod amongst the constant surge of white-hot overstimulation and constant orgasm.

"Good... Just don't resist and let mommy discipline you properly."

As if on cue, she cums again with a jolt, much to your delight.

Wanna fuck her so hard that her juices drip onto the floor and slide down on the side of the desk 😞😞 oughhghghh

There's that RISK of being caught in the midst of your lil session too—you could have it locked all along and while normal everyday Arlecchino would've noticed it perfectly fine, the Arlecchino you have underneath you is wayyyy too fucked out to actually realise in the moment so she's panicking but also? Her arousal is actually RAMPED UP are you kidding me

She won't admit to exhibitionism but there's smth There when she thinks of how the world would know that you have such a powerful Hold on her 🫶

But rn she doesn't care to move, not when her thighs are quivering and her pussy's aching to be filled all over again, practically getting used to the feeling of you inside her

Godddd break her enough and she might not be able to live without you ☺️☺️ or maybe you already have who knows ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ just saying the moment you donned the title of a Mother was the moment that she was indesputably yours for you to do as you saw fit ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

[matchadobo]

can i request the 3rd dialogue in modern au with poly law and kidd??? gn or fem reader is fineeee. i would like for it to be crack-ish where it's really just idiots to lovers, kiddlaw/law x reader/kidd x reader can be established since i want one of the three to be in absolute yearning hence the idiots to lovers bc the yearning character is constantly mistaking the advances of the established two towards them. like i want the yearning character to be equal parts annoyed, endeared, and angsting over the established two. you can make it a bit angsty but happy ending is the endgame hehehe.

KIDD & LAW; soulmate

*pls ignore the wrong ask i uploaded the other day 😭 there were so many asks i got confused (this was before the ask i mistakenly uploaded so mbmb)

🌷matchadobo's 500 followers event🌷

dialogue: "are you plannin' on confessin' or do we need to sweep you off your feet to make it happen?"

wc: 4345

warning/s: very sfw, fluff!, drinking, poly!law!kidd!fem reader, established kidd x reader (bf/gf), soulmate au where you hear bells whenever you touch your soulmate unless a confession happens, i think this is very geared towards law tho 💉

trafalgar law has a crush on you. and it's not just silly little crushes he used to have when he was a child, it was an embarrassingly huge crush. the one that he'd feel warm and fuzzy even for the slightest things.

like right now when you're so close to falling asleep on his shoulder during lecture. you guys just finished a long quiz and lost all fucks to give so your body is giving up completely.

not law though, he was perfectly awake. the rapid beating of his heart was keeping him on his feet as he felt your head precariously land on his shoulder, your forearm brushing by his tatted ones. he tried his best to keep still whilst taking notes and actively listening to class.

what felt like hours turned into seconds because the professor dismissed you all. the shuffling of the seats as your blockmates stood up woke you up.

"shit, how long was i out?" you ran your fingers through your hair as law busied himself with packing up his stuff, all the while trying to hide his blush.

"beats me." he aloofly replied, because if he said more he'd just embarrass himself with nonsense.

you two made your way out the room and eventually out the building, only to find your boyfriend waiting out with his motorbike. he had his helmet on but you knew it was him, from the gaudy color of red of his vehicle and helmet. you smiled at him, all your exhaustion vanished as he welcomed you with a hug.

"baby, you finished class early?" you mumbled on his shoulder, speech muffled from your embrace.

"mhm, thinkin' we'd stop by a diner. and since it's a little early, do a little bit of billiards and drink some booze. how does that sound?" his hands crept up your waist, embracing you tighter as you looked up at him and he reveled on how you look.

"heaven." you smiled. "but we've got some stuff to do, exams are coming up and... law and i..."

"right, of course." he sighed. "do we fit in this bike on ride home or?" kidd gestured to law, looking around as if gauging the impossibility if the three of them would fit.

"i'll take the bus. don't worry." law smiled at him wryly, "i'll get going, traffic's a pain." you waved him goodbye.

"man that guy's so hard to talk to. 's like he always got a stick up his ass. how're you friends with him?" he fetched you your helmet and made space for you behind him.

"oh shut up, it grows on you really. he's a nice guy. just acts like a jackass sometimes. kinda like you." kidd gave you a grumble after that.

law had been in your dorm more than the amount of times you can count. he's your friend and you always study and do some work with him, just like now. he's smart as hell and you two are pretty close. to him, he finds you the least insufferable out of all the people in your university.

"i'll just piss." law excused himself, heading to the bathroom. only to find kidd using the toilet too. his shirt was off, but his back was facing law because of how the toilet was positioned.

"oh fuck, sorry." law turned around.

kidd snickered, finishing up as he pulled his sweatpants up. he headed to the sink to the side, looking at law by the mirror who still had his back turned.

"it's alright, torao. no biggie walkin' in."

law finally turned around, meeting eyes with kidd who was now facing him with crossed arms. as if waiting for law to do something.

"should've locked the door."

"my bad, then." kidd stood upright, walking by the doorway where law was leaning on the side. "i'll keep it in mind next time."

at that moment where kidd and law bumped shoulders on kidd's way out, law heard the same bell he's been hearing whenever you and him touch. kidd thought it was just him imagining it but before he could confront law about it, law had already shut the door and locked it out of sheer panic.

law first heard the bells with you when you accidentally hugged him during an icebreaker at class, you two got paired up that time. you two were the only ones who got a correct answer so your excitement took over you. that was also the time law started having a crush on you. he just didn't act on it because you had kidd already.

this soulmate thing was so stupid and bothersome to law. especially when his "soulmate" is off with someone else. he was starting to think that it was only him hearing the bells. because see, you hear bells when you touch with your soulmate. the ringing stops when you both confess and get together. pretty fucking dumb if your soulmate already heard hers with someone else.

but law shook it off his head, he washed his face and took a deep breath. he relieved himself and prayed kidd wasn't waiting outside. he soon saw the redhead chilling by their couch, booting up a video game. law was relieved and headed back to their dining table to continue some work for the two of you.

unbeknowst to the black haired, kidd was eyeing him the entire time. not out of negative intent or some sort, he was amused and interested. he definitely heard that bell. he and law never really had interactions, much less touch each other. so when he did earlier, it was no mistake.

evening came and law went home, leaving you and kidd to your company. you whipped up some dinner and ate with kidd by the couch as he got some movie playing for you two.

"babe."

"yeah?"

"i heard bells with torao earlier."

your food got caught in your throat kidd had to physically tap your back, tears were coming out of your eyes as the food you previously had in your mouth got all over the floor. he handed you some water after your accident died down.

"damn, you alright?" he rubbed your back, a puzzled face as he assessed how you look.

"that's- i do too, kidd! i hear bells with him too!" you wiped off your mouth with the back of your hand, holding kidd's hand in yours. "ever since the start, i kinda hugged him-"

"you hugged him?" he was quick to reply with a raise of his brow.

"yeah- hey wait, don't get jealous on me now! i got excited, we got a point because of him. only us!" you narrated the entire thing to kidd and he did the same with the bathroom encounter with law.

"that's fuckin' weird, right? i mean, we heard bells with each other, right? or is that not..." kidd scratched the back of his head, placing his plate down because the conversation was getting intense.

"we did, dumbass. of course we did, we even tested it out, right?" you giggled, remembering having sex with him without a confession. you two had to stop because it was bothering you both you two couldn't get in the mood. and that's how you two confessed, naked in kidd's bed on your tenth date. "but is it possible to have another one?"

"you said you're hearing bells with him, and i did too. no way it could be far fetched if it's the two of us, aye?" he rubbed his temples. "wonder what's he thinkin', he'd be lyin' if he says he ain't hearin' shit."

law was losing his mind. he was doomscrolling on the internet. a polyamorous relationship from the soulmate phenomenon, something to explain the dramatic rhythm of his heart that never calmed down. from the way he felt kidd's eyes lingered and gave him a fistbump by the chest when he was about to leave or how you always hit him lightly for his sarcastic jokes. his head was fucking imploding with the bells.

"i think he was hesitating cuz we're already together. b-but are you okay with it? if we three ever get together?"

"i don't exactly hate it. i found him reaaally damn amusing when you introduced him at first. that attitude he has, it pisses me off so much." he scrunched his nose, remembering how law somewhat ignored him on their first meeting. "but i know for a damn fact, if we didn't get together first. i'd have a crush on him, heavily."

"right?!" you hopped on his fanboy train, fawning over law. "he's so good looking, kidd! right?"

"you know what? i've got an idea, babe. it torao is strugglin' on keepin' it all to himself, why don't we help him out?" kidd had that knowing grin, eyes gleaming with his scheming.

"you want to go to a concert with me?" law pointed to himself, looking at kidd like he grew another head.

law passed by the university gym and stared a little too long when he saw kidd benchpressing. like a rabbit in heat, he gawked like a whore. so much so, kidd had noticed and decided to execute the first step of your guys' plan.

"us three. name wanted me to pass it on." he grinned. "heard you're a fan of the strawhats too, name and i always go to their gigs."

"that's fine."

"mm-mm. you're comin', it ain't a question." kidd crossed his arms, sweaty biceps bulging before law. since kidd was taller, law had to fight the temptation to look ten times harder.

"sorry?" law raised a brow, shifting in one foot as he got a bit irritated.

"wear your best shit, torao." kidd nudged him intetionally, playfully punching his shoulder. and there it is again, the bells. law almost felt like vomiting. not from disgust, but sheer disbelief. he hears the same with you from the start and that was cemented. but with kidd too? this is just too much for him.

"do you think he'll come?" you worriedly gaze over kidd, frantic as you held his hand from his arm around you. law was apathetic, but he's not an asshole to keep you guys hanging. atleast you'd hope he is.

"course he would. i'll drag his ass out his dorm if he didn't." kidd gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. "hah, speak of the devil."

you see law rounding a corner donning a striking, jaw-dropping, toe curling fitted long-sleeved mesh top in black, teasing slivers of his tanned skin littered with tattoos from his chest down to his arms were in full display. he paired it with his signature dotted denim pants in a lighter shade of blue. his boots made him almost taller than kidd. his hat was off and his jewelries were hanging idly. the dim ambiance outside the venue wasn't helping, law's bedroom eyes looked unimaginably deeper. he looked like sin, dripping with felony they would commit over and over with no remorse. he was fucking hot, illegally so.

"traffic kept me. it hasn't started yet, right?" law thought he had something in his face or was wearing his shirt inside out because you and kidd were just staring. it worried him but he kept a cold face. "you two look like fucking idiots. something so wrong with my face?"

you cleared your throat. "i-it hasn't- yeah, uh- we um-" but you were unintelligible. literally just opening your mouth just to keep your drool from not falling. but the silence was also suffocating you.

"you sure could fuckin' dress, torao." kidd slung an arm around law, pulling him closer. kidd had a whiff of law's cologne and fell in love instantly, even the bells ringing was dulled.

law smelled like coffee. he exudes a little burnt sugar and caramelly scent, but he still smelled strong and smelling sweet was far from what he had. it was palpable that it had a tinge of the smell of alcohol, it was inviting and warm once it entered your system. it burned a little when it settles down your throat. and kidd was so close to losing himself and pulling this man into a kiss. you fell in love everyday really, it feels like cheating.

while you were busy gawking at him, it took everything for law to not pull you to a room and take everything off with the way you donned your fit. he hated how kidd being close to him made him quite vulnerable with the feeling of kidd's frame on him, pulling him close. how his torso was pressed to his sides, fingertips squeezing his deltoids. and you pinching his cheek as you playfully invited him to go inside already. he was overstimulated at this point.

so far the concert was a blast, until it wasn't. at the climax of one of their songs, the power went out and the collective disappointment of the crowd was way louder than the string that snapped on sanji's guitar. but you, your world ultimately stopped.

the dark had always freaked you out. it makes the walls of your heart clench and suddenly you forget how to breathe. you had to hold onto anything to not lose yourself completely. you held law's hand as a reflex, you felt him stiffen up from his grip on you but he didn't let go.

"what- why are you?" he asked, you can hear his raised brow from his statement. he soon realized it from the way you cling onto him, your hand shaking in his. he sighed and patted your head. he soon fished out his phone and opened his flashlight. "there, not so scary anymore."

he sounded crass as usual, but you knew he meant well. he always does. whenever his tone seems off and not match his true intent, you know him so well to recognize that he meant it with genuinity.

kidd apparently was four people away and only found you guys from law's flashlight. he somehow got stowed and made friends with other people during one of the tracks. he knew you'd immediately have a difficulty with the blackout.

"hey, hey, it's alright, babe. we got you." kidd placed his arm around you and law as he stood behind in between the both of your frames.

"i'm fine, jackass." law mumbled. yet he didn't shake off kidd. as a matter of fact, he loved it there. but he'd never admit that really.

"hm? think ya need it too tho?" kidd's words were suggestive, or was law delusional?

kidd's hand that was initally placed on law's shoulder pulled him closer, his forearm now hanging loosely down law's chest. law just glared at him, soon keeping his head down as he took advantage of the darkness to keep his blush.

"how you feelin', love?" kidd mumbled to you earnestly, pulling your head to his chest as you shifted to hug him and let go of law's hand.

"that was so fucking scary." you let out a deep breath, feeling safe as kidd finally engulfed you in his warmth.

"thanks, law. sorry i suddenly held your hand. i get super freaked out in the pitch black darkness." you sheepishly got back to him.

that thing you did, the bells went crazy with it. but you are law's priority, so the chaos in his mind and heart was nothing. but as he looked back and with you bringing it up, he found himself melting in putty as you looked up at him with that cute little blush that makes his chest hurt.

"don't be shy about it, then." he gave your chin a playful rub, not hesitating anymore as he couldn't contain that little smile you elicit from him. "isn't like you."

even kidd felt that rush down his stomach. it's like you both felt butterflies with his response. law was always austere and inexpressive, that just now made you two all the more sure that maybe, just maybe this thing between you three is actually something.

from that point on, law got comfortable. jamming with you both, touching each other more, and finally letting loose.

"i'll pay for the food." law fished out his wallet from his bag.

"no no, i got it." kidd shook his head profusely, preparing to stand up to go to the counter.

"okay, hell no. just listen." he asserted, slapping off kidd's hand that already held his credit card. "first, you guys paid for the concert. and now, the food too? now you're just making me look like an ass." law rolled his eyes.

kidd took a long look at law then at you who was giggling and then back at law with a raised, annoyed brow. man this guy amuses him down to the depths of his fucking core. he wants him so bad. he finds the sass so damn hot.

"right. by all means." kidd raised his hands in defense. as law stood up, you volunteered to go with him. you somehow wanted more of him.

"did you had a good time, law?" you looked up at him, the alcohol slowly taking over you as you subconsciously leaned closer. there was some waiting time as the cashier processed your food bill.

"i did. thanks." he smiled a little, letting you cling on him. "and you're very drunk right now." he pushed your forehead with his forefinger, away from him as you dangerously got close.

"pffft, i'm not drunk. i just like looking at your eyes."

"yeah?" law got a little too brave, your perfume clouding his senses. even with the staff looking at two of you, he remains unbothered. which was unusual.

"and i like your hair," you reached and combed through his raven locks and law just let you, even though the bells were driving him crazy with your proximity under him. "and your tattoos." your fingers traced his tattos which were peeking from his collarbone down to his arms and roughened fingers. you can feel his goosebumps as you glide your fingers across the surface of his skin.

"ah, you got a thing for them?" he smirked, raising his brows as he shifted on one foot.

"a bit." you grinned, scratching your nails lightly on the prominent veins of his forearm.

"listen, name. i don't -"

"shh." you cut him off and were playfully squeezing on his biceps. "don't you like it too?" you looked up at him as your head rested on his shoulder, completely inducing the vibrant red in his cheeks. "kidd will be fine with it, if that's what you're worried about. trust me on it."

because really, as kidd watched you two from the table, he couldn't help but marvel in the sight of law being totally frozen when you finally touched him. he savored the sight of you two all clingy by the public, suppressing the need to just surrender it all.

and when you two came back, law tried to flush everything down his system with a bottle of whiskey. which was uncharacteristic of him because usually, he'd be level headed enough to not do dumb decisions like that. tonight was full of unusual things.

"slow down there torao, come on. if you don't stop, you're gonna end up like this baby right here." kidd had you in his arms, cocooned in his warmth. he served as your pillow because you were fast asleep from drinking too much whiskey with law.

law held his alcohol pretty good, he wasn't a lightweight but his blush was getting in there. he was a bit tipsy, a few more and he's gonna pass out. but he and kidd kinda had this competition to see if who can stay up the longest.

you grumbled when kidd gestured to you, hitting his chest a little.

"you ever heard your bells, torao?" kidd broke out, the rum loosening his restraints to ask him. law's breath cut short but he maintained his composure.

"yeah," he chugged a shot of whiskey, an arm on the headrest of the sofa as he leaned back. he met kidd's eyes through his half-lidded ones.

"ah, you got someone already?" kidd tried to act coy, his arm was around you as he reached over to your chin, tracing down your jaw to wake you up a little.

"sort of. what about it?"

"felt electric, ain't it?" he grinned, he looked down at you catching your lips to kiss you while looking at law. kidd didn't do it to make him jealous, because god forbid did law felt something else.

something tight down law's pants it made him chug the entire bottle of whiskey as he saw you two make out. "i remember when she and i felt it. got freaked out but, it was well fuckin' worth it when she and i got to confessin'."

"don't fucking care." law rolled his eyes, "get a room." he acted indifferent, but his pants says otherwise. law was starting to lose grip on himself as the bottle was slowly slipping out of his hands.

kidd caught it, drinking the rest of it while maintaining eye contact with law. "best if we get home now, aye?" law just stared at him with a hiccup, his cheeks embarrassingly red. he's so ful with the whiskey it's comical.

right about now, kidd had you slung across his shoulder while law stumbled over his own steps on your way home on kidd's side. law's dorm was too far away so he just went with you guys.

kidd let out a breath of relief as he plopped you down the bed, waking you up and letting you drink a glass of water before you fall asleep. kidd was very tipsy really, he just did his best so you guys can get home. so he lied down next to you while law just crashed down the floor next to the bed. and now you three were dead to the world.

the morning after you guys prepped him some breakfast, you slipped in a pillow under his head and gave him a blanket. placing a kiss on his forehead subtly.

"smells good, baby. might wanna gobble it all myself, hm?" kidd snaked his arms around your waist, peeking over your head at the breakfast you were whipping up.

"we're making good progress so don't spoil it!"

law awoke to the aroma and instantly shot up the floor, seeing if his clothes were still there. he got out and saw you two feeling each other up by the kitchen. you saw him in your periphery.

"good morning, law! we made you breakfast." you smiled, gesturing to the plate you made for him.

but he felt diffident that you're doing this all for him, almost feels like a burden that you're going out of your way. also, he's been third wheeling enough. "yeah, this was a goddamn mistake. i'm going home. sorry about all this."

"wait law, it's fine- don't leave-"

"no this is a mistake, okay? i shouldn't have slept here. or went to that concert and got fucking hammered."

"law! hey!- fuckin' screw it, screw the plan, name. i'm doin' it." kidd stood up and grabbed law's shirt, his rash actions making it look like he'll start a fight with law. "are you plannin' on confessin' or do we need to sweep you off your feet to make it happen?"

law glared at him through flushed cheeks, you got in between them to reduce the tension. "kidd, for fuck's sake just... let me handle it."

you held law's face in your hands, "we know you hear the bells too. i've heard it since day 1. you do too, don't you?" law's once tensed up frown softened, sighing as he placed his inked hands over yours.

"it's fucking me up, really. you two're always so loud in here." he rolled his eyes and you found it endearing, cuz you see how hard he's fighting off that smile. but he soon latched your hands off his face gently. "but i don't wanna be a pain in the ass to you guys, i can't just simply butt in."

"fuck are you on about?" kidd started, the knot between his eyebrows becoming tighter. "not even gonna give us a shot, you shitty bastard? thought you're damn smart enough to understand how soulmates work?"

law chuckled dryly. "you really do have a foul mouth, huh?"

"suppose i do when you're bein' a jackass."

there it is again, this tension between them like they're gonna start something. law flipped kidd off, middle finger held up so adamantly even if kidd was fuming.

you were afraid they're gonna start punching each other but really, if you hadn't got between them they're gonna start kissing with the way they're eyeing each other's lips.

"he's pissin' me off, babe." kidd placed his arm around you. "one confession outta him and we're all good."

"so you guys are down for a poly?" law alternated looks between the both of you.

"of course! why else we would take you out in a concert, have a dinner date after, and then cook you breakfast today?!" you frantically laid it out for him, slowly losing your mind having to explain everything.

and that's when it clicked to law, that hey, you guys weren't fucking with him. you two like him too! i guess when you explode like that, even an idiot like him would be pressured to understand.

"okay, damn." law chuckled, placing his hands on either of your shoulders. "no need to get riled up, yeah? i like the two of you, so very much. i hate doing all this love shit but the bells are freaking me the fuck out so... screw it all and let's go out together."

just like that, the ringing stopped and everyone let out a sigh of relief.

"didn't know your bastard ass is capable of romance." kidd nudged law, placing an arm around him.

"it won't be if you won't shut the fuck up."

"now i've got one other headaches other than kidd."

this was so difficult for me idk why 🥹 i hope this wasn't ooc 😭 first time writing for law huhuhu

kidd and law had better sexual tension tbh 😳🤸‍♀️

if you guys are interested in requesting a fic for my 500 followers event, my askbox is open! click here for the main event post for more info :DD i have slots for forced proximity, hurt to comfort, fantasy, he puts you in your place (smut), and modern aus!

[chaiifluuf]

When you're feeling down

ft. dazai, chuuya (separately)

content. gn!reader, comfort, headcannons, just them being really soft for you

notes. this is lowkey self indulgent, haven’t lately felt the best and just kinda stressed out but! decided to try to write for chuuya this time too, so it might be a lil ooc ^^;

dazai.

- i feel like he would notice before you even realise it yourself

- as time goes on it becomes more obvious to him that something is going on

- is extra sweet to you and eventually asks what’s wrong bc it hurts him to see that broken glint in your eyes </3

- when you slowly tell him everything, all the feelings that have build up overtime now finally breaking out, he will hold you so close and listen to every word you say no matter how shaky or barely audible they might be

- comforting strokes down your back, your head nestled against his chest in hopes that his heart beat will help you calm down

- would possibly offer you advice if that’s what you want and believe me his voice changes to the softest you’ve ever heard 

- and it’s always sincere too, one thing he will never get tired of is reminding you how lucky he is to have someone like you in his life :((

- now if you don’t want to talk about it and just need someone, he will be more than willing to oblige, occasionally whispering comforting words as he plants loving kisses on your forehead

- also imaging him slowly kissing all over your face to distract you and oh his heart will melt if you tell him to stop eventually with that warm giggle he adores so much

- i’m so certain that you don’t have to say anything or explain yourself because he already understands 

- he knows how hard life gets at times and he’s ready to be there for you whenever things seem to be falling apart <3

- also if you think you’ll be getting out of his grasp easily later then think again ! (dazai whining is guaranteed)

chuuya.

- probably the first thought that came to his mind is if he did something wrong

- and when he asks you about it and you dismiss it with a smile, he is not convinced 

- instead he progressively grows more worried and just wants to know what is bothering you 

- to others it might seem like nothing is wrong but he knows you too well to fall for that

- will literally cancel any less important meetings so he could spend more time with you, his mind would be occupied by you anyway even if he did go to them

- isn’t really sure what to do at first but god he will do anything to see that smile on your face again

- a perfect listener when you decide to open up, finally telling him your problems with tears threatening to spill

- might not always know what advice to give you but what he does know is that you are more than enough and that you should never hide your true feelings from him

- he wants you to feel safe with him, just like he feels the safest with you

- chuuya just loves you so so much and he's going to make you sure you feel that way too

- i just know that this man give one of the best hugs you could ever get, mindlessly playing with your hair as his arms are firmly wrapped around you

- definitely kisses your tears away whenever he sees them :((( murmuring the things he loves about you into your skin so sweetly

- would offer to do something like watch a movie to get your mind off things while cuddled up together on the couch 

- will check up on you more often afterwards despite his busy schedule <33

[aingeal98]

Y'know this is a really broad question and (since I know you're more of a Cass/stephcass kinda person) potentially out of your wheelhouse but I enjoy your perspective on lots of Steph related matters, so indulge me if you will: any thoughts on the argument that timsteph is/isn't 'unhealthy' and/or the characters are unfair to each other/bad partners?

Lots of qualifying clauses in that question, I know, but it's interesting to me because I usually see a lot of staunch arguments that either timsteph is completely/irreparably unhealthy (usually with one half as more of a 'perpetrator' in the eyes of fans) OR that timsteph is exclusively a great romance and that their various ups and downs are either inconsequential or the result of OOC writing.

I think the question is mostly interesting to me bc I see both sides of the argument and to me it raises questions about when things cross the line from "a fictional relationship we're meant to root for that simply contains elements of heightened drama which would be considered unhealthy IRL due to it's fictional nature which we're meant to excuse/suspend disbelief for" to "a fictional reflection of unhealthy dynamics".

This is a lot of yap on my part so again, no hard feelings if you decide to pass up tackling it.

Really good question that I had to think hard about. Ultimately the answer depends on if you mean they're unhealthy in universe vs out of universe, Watsonian vs Doyalist. I'm going to stick to pre N52 only as I think from N52 onwards they were... Fine? But kind of bland. The writers had erased all of Steph's backstory anyway so they had none of their history and were just kind of... Normal dating. But pre N52 in the 90s and 00s is where the unhealthiness is at its peak so that's where most of the discourse comes from.

So in universe I think both of them make mistakes and have certain attitudes and behaviours that could be deal breakers for some people, ie Tim's cheating and how he follows Bruce's footsteps dismissing Steph, and how Steph will sometimes overstep some boundaries because Dixon wanted to write the spunky bad girl pursuing the sensible chaste guy. But ultimately in universe there's nothing so bad that I'd write their entire relationship off as unhealthy, at least not before War Games. They had good moments and bad, and whether you think the good outweighed the bad or vice versa really comes down to what you personally can forgive and understand in a relationship and what you enjoy seeing in fictional romances. So Tim's cheating was an immediate red line for me even though I never thought him evil for it, just kind of dumb. And I'd understand if people still shipped them and thought them sweet despite that. So like, they have their unhealthy moments but I'd be wary of going to either extreme aka "Toxic and evil" or "perfect soulmates who's mistakes were ooc"

This is their pre war games versions I'm referring to. After War Games when Steph came back the writer for Robin basically used her as a tool to give Tim angst and show how cool he was. It's the worst Steph's ever been to Tim but it was also so poorly written and clearly biased thay even from an in universe perspective I can't take it seriously. Everything pre war games I wouldn't count as ooc but this... Yeah this deserves the extreme. It's not even "She wouldn't do that." it's more "Why are you not showing us why she's doing this. How am I meant to accept this when her motivations and characterization is so poorly written." It's like a lesser version of when writers lazily butcher Talia to benefit Bruce or Damian. There's no explanation or motivation for Steph's actions that make any sense, so I have zero interest in that version of Steph because she's even more of a prop for Tim than she was during war games, which was an incredibly disappointing way to bring her back and one of the reasons I'm very glad she got her own batgirl run.

Which brings me to out of universe. Because while in universe I'd hesitate to slap the unhealthy label on them the way I would on say, versions of Bruce that hit his kids (I think there is a big difference between the unhealthiness of timsteph and the writing of Batman as an abusive father, and I think Bruce's dynamic with his kids crossed the line from dramatic to unacceptable and toxic a lot more frequently and more extremely than timsteph did) out of universe looking at them from a perspective of how it benefits their characters I would say it's super unhealthy for Steph. Which is ironic because her romance with Tim and her featuring in his comics is how she became a constant character, but the writing is always trying to remind us that Tim is better than Steph, more heroic than Steph, more suitable for this life than Steph. Only the writing is so bad that, like with a lot of Tim's writing, the proof comes down to "Because Batman said so idk."

And that culminates in the failure that is War Games. Steph becoming Robin is all about getting Tim back. Both in universe as Bruce's motivation and in reality as the writers plan. While Steph is being tortured horribly Tim is helping is classmates as a civilian, and the writing hammers us over the head about how capable and competent and perfect Tim is to the point that I felt nauseous reading it because it felt like such a disgusting way to uplift him. And then when Steph comes back, she's not allowed have any actual emotions or feelings about what happened to her. The writers just throw her into a dumb Tim and Bruce plot without any care about how she would actually think and feel, and the same happens in Red Robin. It's all Tim Tim Tim and only her Batgirl series and her reaction to Bruce being alive actually allow her to be shown as a person and not just a prop to uplift Tim.

So basically in universe they're not my cup of tea but they're not like, abusive or anything. They're just shitty to each other sometimes, but they love each other and have their good moments pre war games. From a Doylist perspective though? I've yet to see timsteph written in a way that actually uplifts Steph's character, as even when she's written by someone who likes her and wants to keep her around such as Dixon there's just so much misogyny in how their dynamic is written. So I'm hoping they never get back together and just stay exes with a past so painful and complicated they don't want to talk about it with anyone, but especially not each other.

Thanks for the ask! I hope this made sense lmao I rambled a whole lot

[suffarustuffaru]

Scrolling through your blog is such a fun experience, you bring an absolutely great vibe to this fandom and I love it SO MUCH. Could even say you restored my hope in it, since there has been some aspects that made me force myself to leave it, and I hope me bringing one of them up here won't upset anyone.

Now I completely understand if you wish to not answer my ask, but I figured it's worth a shot. So, one of said aspects was a controversy regarding one of the rezero characters that made me feel like you can't mention them without being called names (mostly on tiktok, but other social media also, tho not as much).

Yeah I'm talking about Felix. I'm not transphobic by any means, and I'm fine with people headcannoning whatever they want, but seeing thousands of people calling others transphobic for calling Felix a 'he' made me so unsafe I forced myself to look for other interest. Which is funny since most of the people saying this weren't even part of the fandom. I was wondering if anyone else here had similar situations and just.. how do you deal with it? It seems silly, I know, but feeling like I can't speak about a rather important character from a media I love made me so upset.

No matter how much I tried explaining it, they either dismiss it or say Tappei made him a trans girl without knowing.

Now, if you do decide to answer this and say that Felix indeed may have been 'trans coded' a little bit (Did I used that term correcly? Idk) I'll understand (hell, I would probably agree, you character analysis are great), I'm just upset at the absolute lack of respect for any other way of referring to Felix other then she/her.

(Also in case people don't know, their proof of Felix being a trans girl is the scene from EX1, with the whole calling himself a girl in front of a mirror thing)

Sorry for this is being long and probably messy I just had to get this off my chest.. also I hope I didn't came of as offensive in any way, if I did I'm really sorry.

hi there anon! first of all - aw thank you for your compliments about me and my blog. im super passionate about rezero (though thats probably super clear to anyone whos seen any content i make for a while aljsdlkf) and well. ive been lurking about in this fandom since summer 2020 so i definitely understand having to leave/distance yourself from this fandom because outside of tumblr, the rezero fandom is kind of . well. to put it simply, theres a lot of metaphorical landmines unfortunately!! T^T and admittedly i wouldve left this fandom a lot sooner if i didnt stick to my own corner and curate spaces with other people who were super chill (like lots of people lurking about here on tumblr + rz tumblr in general!!). so i totally understand how you feel anon (and youre not silly for being upset, i promise!), though admittedly im not super super familiar with some rezero spaces (such as rz twitter) bc i 1. dont speak japanese and 2. i try very hard to avoid the negativity whenever possible!! T^T

and also i apologize for taking a while to answer your ask!! you're one of my older asks that kinda got lost in my drafts hah but i also just wanted to like. take extra care with your ask bc its a super important topic. like not just to me (though its definitely important to me) but its important in general. and i really like felix so. <3

a quick disclaimer is that i myself am not transfem. i am however afab and most likely genderqueer!! (im winging it as i go hah.) felix is also not a character id say im as well-versed in yet, but i do like felix a lot and ex1 changed my entire brain chemistry. and ill also be defaulting to he/him pronouns in this post because thats what he uses in canon.

felix is - at the end of the day - a fictional character, and tappei is a cis man who doesnt Entirely write characters like felix through a queer lens. arguably tappei is Self-Aware when he writes characters who are into other characters of the same sex (though the Representation is arguably a little bit questionable at times depending on how you look at it), but when it comes to characters like felix or subaru who have some Gender Stuff going on, it's more nebulous there. i dont know if tappei 100% realizes he's made characters that could be read as Trans/Genderqueer (emphasis on "read as", because i support different interpretations of these characters), but tappei Definitely Is Very Aware that gender and gender presentation and gender roles are super important when it comes to characters like felix, subaru, and crusch.

i think tappeis own perceptions of gender and gender roles do bleed a bit into the text as much as tappei is pretty purposeful with themes surrounding gender in rezero, but rezero itself still has all sorts of identity issues to explore with a lot of its characters and gender is a big part of that!!

so first and foremost im gonna be examining felix the best i can Purely Off Of The Canon Text, though i do like viewing rezero from a queer lens myself (and it is arguably very queer). im gonna talk first about felix and then ill move onto talking about my personal feelings on rezero fandom stuff :o !!

so felix's relationship with his gender is complicated and he Absolutely does not fit into traditional gender roles or gender presentation right now. these are undeniable. and if people headcanon felix as transfem thats totally understandable and valid!! but to say a headcanon is 100% canon and that other interpretations of a character as complex as felix are invalid isnt exactly it. for sure. i mean i myself interpret him as nonbinary haah. but felix's relationship with gender is so so so So complicated that i dont think you could just say hes transfem and then Not Elaborate More.

but regardless of how Exactly you label felix, i think you could possibly say that hes trans coded. tappei, even if he probably doesnt entirely know hes made pretty genderqueer characters, is Aware and Purposeful of how gender affects felix and his perception of himself and his identity and other peoples perception of him and this is brought up Over and Over Again in canon—felix’s gender identity, at the moment, aligns more with femininity in his presentation in every way, though he still perceives himself as masculine. felix’s case is complicated, and while im not entirely sure on this i think you could argue that hes trans coded—“coding” suggests a level of intent when making these characters, and i think that intent is present in some way with tappei. because tappei Knows just how important gender is with felix’s character and you can tell with how often and how Integral it is to felix’s entire character.

(more under the cut) (i do have a habit of being rambley/wordy sometimes if. if you couldnt tell already. but i hope this response is up to your standards!!)

these three analysis posts on felix's relationship with gender have all discussed this topic in-depth before i have, and i 1. really like the rezero content i see from all three of these people and 2. they All have slightly different takes based on the canon we have but also some similar points. because felix is complicated!! of course our takes are probably gonna be a bit different - he's a multifaceted character with such a complex relationship with his gender that it's hard to tell what every single one of his personal feelings on it is (especially when at the moment he hasnt appeared in the main story since arc 5 and he still has a Lot of character development to do). and of course fiction is fiction, we can all take away any sort of meaning from a story like this.

but you know. this is my post so im gonna try to analyze felix right now and say my two cents on what i think of his relationship with gender.

so im gonna try not to retread too much on what liquidstar, sufferu, and gourmet of gluttony have already said about felix (and i think theyre all very smart people with interesting analysis posts and theyve all explained their thoughts pretty well) and instead add on with my own thoughts - theres this felix excerpt from arc 4 wn that i think about sometimes. im gonna put it down here!!

and also important to note—like other people have mentioned, crusch and felix made a “deal” of sorts in the past where crusch takes on felix’s masculinity and felix takes on crusch’s femininity. and also like other people have said—and i myself have said in the past—i do have some mixed feelings on this wkdndn and as i said before also i do wish tappeis feelings on gender bled a little less when theyre Not Integral To The Story. bc i dont think tappei 100% knows hes made trans coded characters, but. anyway yeah so thats the whole deal with crusch felix. and in its own right i think it has So Many Interesting Implications!!

i think when it comes down to it, gender presentation IS a bit of a performance, isn't it? like i love to wear dressses and skirts and i love to keep my hair short and wear suits, but you know - these sorts of things tend to be gendered. our gender is often perceived through how we present ourselves, but in recent years gender roles being attached to clothing has gotten a bit less Rigid. but these rigid roles associated with presentation are even more dialed up to Eleven in a medieval world like the rezero fantasy world. and i dont use the word "performance" in a negative way -

what i mean is that when it comes to felix's character, does felix think he's a boy because that's what he's been told? does he think he's a boy because he TRULY sees himself that way, or does he THINK he has to see himself as one? does felix try to present and perform femininity, ie as or like a traditionally feminine girl, purely ONLY for crusch's sake, or is it because felix ALSO WANTS to? what does felix think of gender outside of crusch? who is felix outside of crusch? who is felix outside of tying his entire personality to other people? does felix’s femininity show the “radiance of ferris’ soul” bc of the deal he made with crusch or bc this truly is felix’s soul? these are like the big questions behind his entire character and character arc that would determine in the end how felix identifies in both his gender and In General.

so what is felix's identity at the moment? bc right now, felix is stuck between his feminine self, tied to crusch, a symbol of crusch, tied to his own reliance on crusch and worship of her—and his masculine self, someone broken off from crusch. felix is tied to crusch right now to worrying extents with his obsessive devotion to the point of changing himself to mold into her image, and beyond that, hes still tied to guilt surrounding fourier’s death. gourmet of gluttony puts all of this way way more intelligently than i ever could, but at the end of the day, i think the best narrative decision here would be for felix to accept himself in ALL of his entirety.

healing in rezero is noted to be a kind power, specifically by fourier and fourier saying this right to felix when hes the most talented healer in lugunica, and healing itself is often stereotypically feminine activity. knighthood is stereotypically masculine, and on top of all this, we see in ex1 that biehn argyle twists the power of healing into something grotesque—trying to bring back the dead and revive what cant be revived, which is once again another reoccurring theme in rezero.

how far can “from zero” go? what HAS to stay dead and what can be revived? who is allowed to live? HOW do you live freely? felix is someone born from a horribly abusive and neglectful family who twisted healing magic’s kindness into cruelty, felix is someone who was taken into a family that showed him kindness and now hes desperate to pay them back with everything he has and everything he is, felix is a healer who lashes out when hes cornered and a healer who treasures life and a knight who cant physically fight like the others, felix is someone stuck with the horrible knowledge that he cant save everyone—that some things just Couldnt end better no matter how much he wished for it to.

felix is stuck between all kinds of worlds, and in terms of gender, hes quite literally still stuck between boyhood and manhood in the biological sense—hes purposefully made it so that he hasnt hit puberty yet so he can better pass as feminine. he hasnt Physically Grown past puberty—which is the mark of becoming an adult. and he hates himself in a number of ways, but he also hates himself for failing to be traditionally masculine. his abusive family stole ten years of his life and the torture left him physically weaker, so he cant be strong physically, which is something associated with traditional masculinity. felix is the best healer, a traditionally feminine job and skill, but he cant save everyone. felix becomes more feminine as part of his deal with crusch, but while crusch accepts her femininity and masculinity readily, and while crusch’s memory is erased by gluttony—felix is left behind, alone, still holding onto femininity while not entirely being able to hold onto it while he also cant entirely hold onto the traditional masculinity he expects out of himself. and with arc 3 on, felix feels hes failed both fourier and crusch. the two most important male and female figures in his life.

felix is basically stuck in this liminal space where hes not Enough for himself in literally every direction, and the only way out is to accept every part of himself and move forward by trying to define who he is without other people—his birth family and his found family dont define him. they can shape him, sure, but he has to stop shaping himself to meet them and figure out how to let himself just. Be. and take up a space thats firmly his. from a queer lens, this kind of thing is pretty queer—because to stop being in between worlds, you have to accept everything instead of splitting yourself into halves over and over again. killing or maiming yourself or parts of yourself is no way to live, and felix is Life itself.

and i think regardless of the Exact Labels you could give felix, i think his arc—which is perfectly in line with all of rezeros themes—is inherently about self acceptance and the bridging of the gap and combination of femininity and masculinity. felix is both and identifies, in one way or another, with both, similar to how he loves someone who identifies with both (crusch) and just as hes loved her and fourier. imo it wouldnt be right for felix to choose one or the other in terms of feminine vs masculine—he needs to be the one learning and navigating his honest feelings on both sides bc i think he Yearns to be both. hes a boy who dresses like a girl and its up to him to know if he wants to be a man and/or a woman due to his own internal desire or if parts of that is Only due to external pressures.

--

and alright now that ive said all my thoughts on felix atm im gonna address the other questions you had in your ask!! note that this is just my opinions and thoughts regarding my own experience in the english fandom, you dont have to agree or anything 👍

but i AM very sorry about your negative experiences in this fandom. T^T people calling other transphobic for using he/him for felix (and also people being transphobic about characters like felix or subaru/natsumi in general) is something ive seen as well. the rezero fandom is sadly very often toxic and Bigoted in a lot of ways (with the exception of rezero tumblr and certain segments of rezero ao3, from what ive seen), which is Ironic for a story thats so clearly about love and self-acceptance, which is also ironic because arguably tappei and otsuka and the rezero marketing team (i Love the female characters in rezero but theres just so much sexualized or vaguely sexist merch/moments that dont add to the story, you know? kind of just. misses the point of their characters sometimes.) sort of contribute to it a little bit as much as tappei does do some really great things with his writing.

rezero is the first fandom ive been active in but its definitely not the first ive ever been in, and ive been in some insane fandoms before. like i said earlier though, i think i just cope by curating my experience to what i like, yknow? liking posts i enjoy, looking at stuff i enjoy, etc :O !! fandom is a hobby so i try not to look at negative stuff when i can help it wkdnd. which im sure youre aware about already but i always have to keep reminding myself of this bc places like rezero reddit or twitter get pretty rough!! but its really helped me just following artists and creators i like, enjoying their content, chatting with cool people i vibe with, rezero tumblr being the chillest rezero space in the whole fandom, and its also helped me a lot making rezero content of my own—like this whole blog!! its really shocked me how much people seem to value my thoughts enough to ask me things frequently but i appreciate it pfft. and i hope you guys like reading my posts!!

but yeah like. curate, curate, curate. it helps a LOT and it gets me excited to experience rezero not only by myself you know? not that i didnt have fun by myself but its its own level of fun finally finding spaces to have fun with others!! and i LOVE finding beautiful fanart!! chef’s kiss. and trying to be the change i want to see is satisfying on its own :,) i want to post random shit about rezero, so i post it. i want to make fanart for fun and share it. i want to brute force people into loving otto more so i ottopost (dont worry, i still hate him bc true otto fans also hate him at the same time <3 /lh). i want more queer rezero content so i try to make some more!! brings more personal power i think and its very fun!! and it helps with lessening the quiet despair of fandom toxicity ;-;; (which is something ive done many times and will continue to do sometimes so i feel your pain 🫂) and i promise theres cool people in the fandom 👍 i may reply late to asks or dms but im ALWAYS down to talk about rezero things its so fun 👍👍

and its really really hard sometimes to deal with fandom toxicity especially if its forcefully knocking at your door—definitely dont force yourself to stay or look at things if you cant, bc thats totally understandable!! and i myself have been harassed a little in the past. but definitely having some sort of coping—the block button, backing out of things you dont agree with or like, lots and lots of curating, etc—helps me a lot. and i think mental health wise i feel much better trying to look on the bright side of things!! its MY hobby goddammit!! ill fight people subaru-style if they try to poison it!! and however long anyone reading this decides to spend with rezero and rezero tumblr—you are welcome here 👍

but yes my very Long rambling aside - i hope this post somewhat helped you!! felix is a very important character that i like very much and need to learn more about and i have Many Feelings on the english side of this fandom, but im very grateful to all the cool people ive met over the years here for sure!! :o

also ill probably post the finished version soon but if youve read this far here is a sneak peak of felix art i did recently (just as a reward for once again reading all of my Endless Yapping)👍👍

[vechter]

i'm sorry i have a very silly and annoying question to ask you but i do have to ask it. out of dick grayson's more prominent pre-52 love interests - i.e., not one-note characters like vera lovely but rather starfire, huntress, oracle, and maybe clancy or lori elton if you count them - who do you think bruce would've preferred his son chooses or at least to have as a potential daughter-in-law. my bet is lori but i wanna know what you think!!!

i mean, we kinda have canonical evidence of bruce never rlly warming up to starfire from tim's pov in teen titans #20

and gotham knights #43. but he does recognize her importance to dick when they talk at donna's wedding in tales of the teen titans #50:

with helena, it's a lot more complicated because bruce has had way more interactions with her than kory so his perception of her is much more informed and influenced by his own feelings about her methods and actions

to the best of my knowledge, i don't recall bruce having ever met clancy. there is this one panel in titans #14 where dick mentions her as a potential love interest to bruce (along with a bunch of other people— even donna!!! which is just so fucking weird— but devin grayson is just very weird about dick sometimes).

so i guess we can assume that he knows of her, esp bc she gets a waynetech scholarship.

anyway, bruce has a very... interesting view of dick's relationships. like the context of these panels is nuanced bc it's during the arc when bruce was taking legal steps to adopt dick + ra's was trying to start shit + yoska was there but just look at gotham knights #21:

plus, i think this answer would be remiss if we didn't consider that storyline in the first nightwing annual where bruce is the one to suggest dick as the bait for emily, who they suspect is killing her millionaire husbands.

i think, viewing this through the lens of dedication to the mission, the way he canonically praises babs for (listen, they butt heads a fair bit but bruce does respect and admire her a lot) is a definite point in barbara's favour. two people he can rely on, two people with unparalleled tenacity and determination, two people he loves and admires, two people he knows won't hesitate to put their personal lives on hold for the greater good.

but also his reaction to dick telling him about his relationship with babs in gotham knights #17 is sort of dismissive and perfunctory... but also kinda soured for me bc of the devin grayson of it all.

as for lori, gosh i had to go reread that one issue with her ex to remember how bruce reacted to it. sometimes, i forget how bruce used to be ahhhh like just look at him in batman family #17:

anyway, i think a big chunk of bruce considering lori as a long term partner would be about the secret identity aspect. like she dumped him bc he was so focused on the crimefighting aspect of his life. and i hate a lot of the current nightwing run but i think bruce is prone to thinking about this aspect of vigilantism.. what the limits of happiness can be for a hero, how much of it involves romantic connections. he's a raging asshole in nightwing #75 but he's not... fully in the wrong here:

so, i think, lori would be a no just because of that. it's hard to maintain consistent civilian friendships, let alone relationships when you're a vigilante.

also, babs has the very noticeable advantage of bringing dick to gotham more. dick mentions this in gotham knights #17 himself:

and while bruce may posture and be lost in the haze of the past, he's definitely going to feel pleased about having dick around more.

tldr: babs, probably.

also definitely not annoying or silly of you to ask!!! i love answering asks and i do enjoy the ones where i have to rlly think and scour through comics for panels

[noemitenshi]

@marrecarandgi

ok so, the mommy issues: he does have them though i don't think they are sexual in nature (which is also why i don't like to call them 'mommy issues'--- theres always a certain… connotation attached (and on top of that it sounds, to me, like blaming the victim. not saying you're doing it! not at all! Just describing my aversion to that particular phrase as best as i can)).

So what that whole thing boils down to is that he never experienced the love of his parents, that's where it stems from. That's part of why he fixates on Madison so hard. BC already in the first ep of s3, moments after he greets madison, he watches her declare her love for her kids and for travis. "do you love him more than your life?" he asks her and the way he looks at her… like that's such a strange thing to him and at the same time he'd wished someone would love him that much. or like even half as much. hell, he'd take a quarter! It's kinda heartbreaking. He's drawn to such a love and jealous too. Of course he is, he never got it. And then he finds out who her son is she got in such danger for and… is angry at him. Angry that he has such love in his life and just--- treats it with such disrespect (=bc he's a junkie and also bc he clearly ran away from his mom). I think it reminds him of the relationship with his own mom, how HE had such love for her and how she had only disdain for him and for his love. And while he can't hate his mom - i mean i think he does. but he also loves her. feelings for his mom are complicated… but with NICK it's not complicated. He can just hate him. So yeah there's a lot of projecting going on. None of it sexual though, I don't believe so. Explains part of his fixation though. AND THEN on top of her apparent love, she immediately turns around and tries to manipulate him. "My, my son, he's out there, somewhere. Alone. I'm sure if you were lost in the wasteland, your mother would do anything to find you" Definitely he loves the way Madison could play his games (the way she did even as she was disadvantaged, even as she was scared), the way she tried to manipulate him AND also the way she loved, those two things drew him to her. Personally I think he was most taken in by the 'she keeps at it even while she's afraid what he'll do' thing she had going on. Pushing onwards despite. Does it remind him of himself? Most certainly. He loves to draw that out of her, that bravery, that opposition. After all, he likes people pushing back it's attention, it's caring enough to engage with him, not just dismissing him… And I think a third aspect in their relationship is that he also wants her to.. teach him, in a way. Because they're pretty similar - both manipulative and clever, wanting to control all others around them and not afraid to do what needs to be done (in their eyes) - but then! She's got a family that loves her. If she could just teach him how she did that… he could have a shot at that too. At long last he could have that, too! If only she could teach him her secret.

So yes, his family did fuck with his head badly, he's certainly got issues. And it comes out as desperate to make connections, as soaking up attention and affection wherever he gets it, no matter how dangerous it is. He knows full well Madison is playing him but he just can't NOT engage, at least in s3. I'm so fucking happy for him he got over that in s8. How heartbreaking would that have been otherwise… And I think the reason he got over it is because he finally got what he was craving - someone that loves him. Not wanting to use him or someone who merely tolerates him, but honestly, truly loves him. First Serena (I assume) and then definitely Tracy.

--

Now about the 180 he did wrt killing Madison - honestly that's just bad writing in my opinion and having everything rushed because they wanted to do too much for 12 eps. That's how it felt while watching haha. (Same btw for Tracy suddenly saving Madison what the fuck come on get out of here with this shit omg). Anyway, what I could imagine is going on here: he knows he's fucked (chances of surviving this and actually getting tracy to safety pretty low) so he does what he thinks will most likely ensure Tracy's safety. Getting on the good side of these people (by saving Madison).

It's still a stretch, I know, but makes more sense than 'he saw into her eyes and realized bla bla bla' come on! Orrrr maybe he realized her dying now, without anything she believes in is no punishment for her. She *needs* to believe in the same shit Serena did so it really hurts her when she dies. She'll feel like she's losing out on something, or whatever. Now it seems like she welcomes death. She even said it to him didnt she. Something along the lines that padre will be safe without ppl like them around. She wants to die. So. He saves her. (Just like she didn't kill him when he begged her back in s3. she just sent him into exile). I kinda see this one as the most likely explanation. Also makes sense he wasn't paying attention to Madison, just worried about Tracy. Because that's his number 1 prioority.

---

Now naming Tracy Tracy still has me scratching my head and calling bullshit. Sorry, no in-universe explanation for it, writers were being stupid. Probably thought 'oh this will show he really really cares about family bc he named her after his mom' or whatever.

[strapinandstraponyourstrapons]

teen wolf || 1349 words || angst and tragedy is the tag i used and it's true || theo raeken centric || basically how i think tara's death went

i finally got my shite together and posted this mfer

i had to give up on finishing the x years later thiam scene bc i will need a lot of spoons that i currently do not possess to figure out exactly how i want that to go but just know that one day theo will have someone to hold him and tell him it's alright

today is not that day😈

to accompany this fic i wanted to add some of my observations/kinda-analysis of the way tara's death is shown in the show and how it got me thinking about what theo's actual involvement could have been. what we know is mainly revealed in flashbacks and lydia's visions - tara died of hypothermia and lydia says it was because "he wanted her heart". we see a young theo doing nothing as tara calls out to him for help.

stiles suggests at one point that theo pushed her and that he liked it. and most interestingly to me, theo implies that he was too naive to really understand what was happening and that the dread doctors told him that she wanted him to have his heart. at the time theo says this, he's still being somewhat manipulative, because although his betrayal has been revealed to stiles, he still seems to want to convince stiles that his motivations make sense (whether he's really trying to convince stiles or himself is a whole other thing). even still, he doesn't do a good job of defending himself. it sounds more like a dismissal. i kinda interpret it as theo truly believing that he was responsible for tara's death but trying to make an excuse that would justify it to stiles.

and then, there's theo's hell loop in the skinwalker prison. it's never explained how it works, whether it's really his sister's spirit seeking revenge, something totally crafted by the skinwalkers because they like torture and tend to overcorrect in the karmic justice department, or, and i think this is the interpretation most of us take, it's a manifestation of theo's guilt, whether he's right to feel guilty about it or not.

this all combined in my brain with the idea that theo went from that traumatic experience of his sister's death directly into years and years of more trauma, and i can't help but think he probably didn't have time to process it correctly. not to mention that peoples' memory around traumatic events can often be really incomplete, especially when it's something severe that happened in childhood. and i just think, what if the events are twisted in theo's memory?

so here's the tragic story my brain fabricated, because it's a masochist.

thanks to those of you who encouraged me on my previous posts about this fic, you're all the fucking best and i really appreciate the support bc gosh is writing so dang fckn hard sometimes. y'all mean the world to me🖤🖤🖤

[coldasyou]

Hi! I'm a different anon but I've been kinda curious about your thoughts on this..since you've shared some of your struggles with depression. I've also been suicidal now and especially in the past but I don't feel like she talks about it genuinely in this album compared to past albums. Like there isn't one song about it..it's more like things that happened that made her "crazy" which relates to the asylum imagery. But to me it's all exaggerated I guess and idk how she could dismiss her partners feelings experience with it either. That makes me kinda uncomfortable. Of course songs like Antihero and I Can Do It are allowed to be cuz we have all been there but I don't get the sense she actually wanted to kill herself like she's talked about with some lyrics like about crashing into the rocks everyone is saying...compared to in This is Me Trying, Hoax or Evermore. Idk..we don't get a song here that describes how she actually felt or how bad the depression actually was.Maybe The Black Dog, I Can Do it and I Hate it Here show it the most..and the fame songs. Of course I think she struggles with it generally and definitely with fame. I also think it's a different kind than me,that I don't relate to so maybe it's just me and everyone is different. She also had someone falling in love with her at the worst time of her life lol which is not my experience at all and now that is happening again. So it's hard to believe it most of the time and part of why I have a hard time with this album I think and it's been hard to figure out why. Sorry this is so long..I hope it's okay I sent this.

you're totally fine, I think it's important to have these conversations.

it's just all kind of hard to talk about bc on one hand I don't want to assume things about taylor's mental state that I do not know, but I also want to listen to and discuss what she's portrayed and said in her art. like where does interpretation end and speculation begin? especially with a topic as sensitive as this, so I guess what I would say is I think taylor's made it clear she's struggled with her mental health and I think a lot of it has to do with fame. and like you said it's kinda hard for us to relate to that bc well, we're not famous, and it sometimes feels like "why would you complain about having all this money and success other people would kill for." idk I'm kinda rambling at this point, I wish I had a concise reply but I think at the end of the day I'd rather give taylor the benefit of the doubt that she is using this terms and portraying herself in this way bc it's how she genuinely feels. i'd rather be wrong than say someone can't talk about their own mental health in a way I don't like. we are in an era of people using stuff like intrusive thoughts as a joke so I get why everyone is a bit wary of stuff like this but that's personally how I feel.

[imagionationstation]

Hey!! I hope you're having a good day/night.

This is going to sound really funny but I just realized I know you from wattpad!! From a long time ago, when the site was still my main one and then I moved to tumblr and ao3 and found you here too but I just realized you're the same person!

I'm so sorry it's just too funny for my right now.

I absolutely adore all your fics, I don't know how to live without them. The one you have ongoing with Raph being kidnapped it's too good and all your drabbles here are just amazing.

Do you think we can become friends ? I just admire you so much!

(P.S. I absolutely love the game you're starting!)

Alright. I’ve reread this five consecutive times already. Should probably share now…

HIYA! That’s so awesome. I love stalking authors and artists, so it’s not often I stumble upon them accidentally. 🤣

It’s absolutely crazy that there’s someone out there that can honestly make a sincere comment like “I don’t know how to live without your fics” and I’m just, Yes, you absolutely do, you did it for years before you even knew I existed wtshell???

It’s so cool to just be existing and someone pops up like: I’VE READ YOUR STUFF AND IT’S GREAT

Then I’m always FLOORED bc my silly brain forgets how much impact fanfic stuff can have on a person. People like me who go coasting for stories and find one that fits our specific needs and then just gush over it because I never knew how much I needed this author’s perspective of the boys in my life. 💞💞

My stories are the kinda stuff I would be thrilled to stumble upon, which is exactly why I write it. Especially Leo&Donnie content! There’s not nearly enough of them in canon or fanworks or fanart- DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND PLATONIC LEO AND DONNIE FANART???

…I got derailed by my own mind. So. Um. I was making a point about writing-

Oh, yeah, I basically live to make sure that if there’s another soul out there who feels there are gaps in certain areas of content- I will be there to help fill it! Especially recently, everything surrounding 2012Donnie is either content that is far from platonic, or isn’t hurt/fluffy in the ways my heart desires.

I am starving and must fill my own needs. Always happy to do the same with the others I stumble across!

Does It Almost Feel Like Nothing Change At All? is my first try at a plot-centered, but still traumtic fanfic. I love those kinds of stories and I figured it’s time I give it a try.

Plus, Raph is in a similar boat to Donnie. He just doesn’t get enough attention in the instances that I crave. Everything lately is about his ‘secret depression’ or his love life, or so it feels to me.

SO I FIXED IT!

This fic will include a little bit of everything so that his pain can be deeply and horrifically scarring. Because he’s such a good boi <3

Not sure if you’ve found it yet, but I have an A03 with more content that’s not available on Wattpad. Link

Sure! I practically consider everyone who interacts with me often on Tumblr or leaves consistent comments on A03 to be a friend on some level.

As long as you’re able to tolerate long rants about turtles, an unhealthy obsession with the underrated bond between the cool colored bros, and someone who just doesn’t know how to stop writing- then welcome to a friendship that will never stray beyond the realm of turtles until we meet in person!

You’ve already been around for quite some time! Who am I to dismiss a 2012 turtlefan with obviously awesome taste in content?

[sothischickshe]

OMG did you finally watch Derry Girls???!! 😱😱😍😍😭😭👀👀💖💖🙈🙈💜💜💞💞💕💕

What did you think? Did you love it? Did you??? Tell me EVERYTHING 😘😘😘😘

Hey sweetie! I hope you're doing well 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

& yes, I did finally watch derry girls!

I did end up loving it actually, though it was a bit of a slow burn for me! I warmed fast to the characters/tone/setting/comedic style etc, but it felt like the (earlier) eps had a habit of ending just as they were getting interesting??? Idk, maybe it's partly personal preference or expectations, but they often felt v cliffhangery, only without being picked up ever again??

Classic example would be the first ep where everyone's accusing the girls of killing the old nun, which just kinda ends & I don't think that's ever mentioned subsequently? see also: stowaway jumps into the next car's boot WITH the tent James has been put in charge of in hand, or the hash scones are about to be eaten by the whole family (an extremely egregious example to me haha, you can't tease an everybody must get stoned conclusion and not demonstrate it! 😢), or even Erin writing 'parents' on the board a smile is shared...run credits.

I don't even like plot ha, and I'm def into it just meandering along in the bg while the focus is on the characters, & maybe these endings were supposed to emphasise that vibe, but I don't think it quite worked for me. Contrast with say the ending of the take that concert ep which feels like an ep ending!! <3

I do think the eps mightve benefited from being a little longer (or perhaps the writing mightve benefited from knowing how to write to that length ♻️) generally, & the s1 finale in particular was kinda dampened for me bc I don't think the resolution to the clare-Erin fight feels entirely earned? I totally respect the show choosing to not make Clare's sexuality a source of dramz (& the fact that it won't be amongst their milieu is kinda foreshadowed by everyone's disappointment @ everyone else re their supposed homophobia twds James), but I think this ep needed a liiiiiiil more space for the topic considering how dismissive erin is to clare immediately. (plus, doesn't erin kinda out clare to others eg Mary in discussing this...?)

I feel like the writing got a lot more intricate as the show went on tho! 🤩 eg I remember being struck by the haunt-y ep where James gets hit by the van & clare panics at all the plant pots & throws a rock through the window -- which seem like classic highjinks... And they are, but also they're respectively: a reason the girls are frazzled so end up inadvertently breaking into the wrong place, & a sign they're at the wrong house (the instruction to find the key under 'the' plant pot initially seeming humorous, but actually being a well hidden Reveal). Or ciaran assuming Sarah's broken it off with him to become a nun in the hallowe'en ep?? Impeccable!! Or how the storylines in the train ep (backpacks switcheroo; Mary and sarah running into an acquaintance they can't place) neatly dovetail. The third season really impressed me overall, and particularly that final lengthy special!!!

So I do think my experience of watching this show is strong evidence for my theory that waiting for the whole thing to be out and watching all in one go can be the best way!! Like yes you do miss out on the live fandom screeching experience & can easily run the risk of being spoiled but I got to watch the writing improve in this compressed fashion!! Plus there were certain things where I was reserving judgement to see how they were handled going fwds, and s3 (so good!!) really delivered! Eg clare getting a love interest, michelle/'s family backstory, some discussion from Clare's parents re her sexuality, the girls developing better music taste lol, a bit more interrogation of Mary & gerry's relationship.

As u know I'm a bit of a hard sell on media/stories abt young ppl (to start with there's way too much!), but I really like the tone & setting of the show -- the sort of black comedy vibe, the 90s nostalgia -- and def enjoyed how much the grown ups were present too!! The performance of Tommy tiernan as gerry in particular really stood out to me, he didn't always get many lines, and often the ones he had were quite clipped, but the acting gave it a lot of depth. Plus I love that the mums got their own flashback ep!

I think the erin/James romance was foreshadowed really well + had the exact right amount of focus (ie not a huge amount) + was resolved exactly the right amount (ie fairly implied but open ended); he was an aspiring filmmaker she was an aspiring writer can I make it any more obvious should be more of a trope too sffgddfg. I feel like a lot of shows abt teenagers are either aggressively puritanical abt sex or substances or w/e, or lean hard the other way and instead try to glam up & sexualise boring children, and this did neither! The fact that it didn't focus almost exclusively on romantic pining and/or relationships or get into the partner shuffle game was really refreshing for a ~teen show, & I love that the focus stayed on the group/dynamic.

Other thoughts: Sister George Michael extremely iconic obvi! I really enjoyed James as a device (ppl needing to explain the ~setting to him), I think more shows should do that (espec in place of bloody voiceovers, way too many of those these days, so I loved the lampshading of that trope too); his deployment in the funeral ep (english ppl vs acknowledging the concept of death) really sung for me! And I lovvvve how uncle colm was used (espec in s3)!! I generally really like how Sarah & orla were portrayed/treated by the show also. And the music was done v well -- both in terms of songs chosen and how they were used! Some very iconic guest stars too, although omg i didn't even recognise ardal o'hanlon which is WILD given I slogged through a fair amount of my hero for him back in the day 😅

Anyhow yes I did love it, excellent rec, and I think it would be fun to rewatch. I'd be curious to hear/read more abt the writing actually, and particularly re when character details were decided (eg Michelle's brother backstory) cos stuff generally did seem to hang together well overall 😊

....ok, that enough thoughts for ya? 😆

[aris-ink]

i don’t think it’s the communicating, but the comprehension. i feel like he doesn’t understand where I’m coming from. i talked to him last night and cried to him bc it’s been bringing me down for some time now but he just keeps saying we’re okay :( he tells me a lot that he’s still here and that he still cares, but he’s not emotionally here nor does his actions show that he still cares. i told him that, but lowk he kinda dismissed it and said that he feels like he’s there physically and emotionally. maybe i’m asking for too much? i don’t get how none of this is affecting him when it’s affecting me so much. i can’t help but think that he knows i won’t leave or he has another person to go to and talk when i’m stressing him out. 🫠 i’m trying to give it time, but how long can i wait until i can’t do it anymore? sigh.

- 🌳

it's really hard to judge situations like this fairly, because I don't know him at all, and I don't want to accidentally end up putting any more bad thoughts in your head baby, especially when they might not even be true 😩 so I really am trying not to judge him too harshly. and I could even say, you know, maybe that's just how he is? maybe he's just not someone who is very emotional, not openly, at least. there are two buts here, though. because first of all, if that's just how he is, it means you will struggle to fit well together, it clearly already feels like your needs aren't being met and you're having a hard time. 😔

and again I could say, you can work on it, and it's okay. but. yeah, here comes the second but, and it's what bothers me the most about your message. even if it is just his personality, and nothing bad is going on... if he cares for you, it should affect him that you're upset. it should worry him that you're anxious and crying. because saying "everything is OK" and dismissing your thoughts and emotions is not the way. clearly for you it isn't okay. so, even if he doesn't understand it, he should be all over you, putting in extra effort and giving you reassurance to help you feel better. that's what a good partner does. that definitely does bother me, it's not okay. so, maybe that should be the main point of your conversation? why he just seems so okay while you're struggling and worrying? because that sounds like the biggest issue to me. you're NOT asking for too much. you're asking for what you deserve, and don't ever ask for less. 😔❤️

I wish I could give you a hug or do more for you baby, I'm so sorry ☹️ but I promise I will do what I can and at least be here. I love you ❤️

[nights-at-crystarium]

Hi hellooooo and thank you <3 Putting my responses under the cut~

I remember seeing a post!! About Vivi's weapon! And for the life of me I cannot find it anywhere but you linked the post underneath the comic where he first met Ardbert!

Here you go! I posted it a bit earlier on tumblr, that's probably why.

Also here are Alisaie's weapons that don't have a name yet. Essentia is a name just for Vivi's spear, yes, but several people began referring to the whole concept by that name whoops. That's my mistake as a writer, I'll take it as a lesson in the original lore delivery.

Their duel looks awesome. It looks so Fluid. Idk how you did it bc it's a comic and not animated, I never know how comics do it actually, but it's always so impressive.

I'm glad that you think so!! It's probably because of the smears (blurry actions) and stretching/squashing. Like for example their hair looks longer than normal in this panel, we're used to seeing this trick in art and animation, our brain suggests quick movement.

This scene was totally unnecessary and self-indulgent, yet I wish I'd make it even longer hahah. Just two elves frolicking around and chatting nonsense. This form of communication's much easier for Alisaie than holding hands and talking feels.

"you still can't duel for shit" interesting! So does Vivi have a weakness in battles where he has to fight one other person, or is it only in sparring? Does he have anyone else that he naturally works with? Does he have an easier time when he's fighting multiple people at once? :O I just realised I've never really seen what his fighting style looks like in a fight where his life is at stake.

Vivi can't see the telegraphs if there's no actual threat to his life, a bit of silly ingame mechanic interpretation for the Echo. Alisaie has no intention to harm him and would stop before her sword reaches him, so he's kinda blind, only relying on his actual (average) combat skill :'>

Once he realized that Hydaelyn's gifts carry him when shit hits the fan, he started dismissing the real training/skill. Vivi doesn't see the merit/appeal in being a cool fighter, the world-saving happens anyway while he's present, so why bother. But I fear I'm getting too far ahead of the comic plot.

"You STILL can't duel" implies that they've gone through this before. Even if it's been 1 year for Alisaie, for Vivi just about a week since their separation, hell knows when did they spar last time, he obviously didn't undergo some massive training in a week, Alisaie mustn't expect much from this lil dance, it's simply better than standing and twiddling her thumbs.

Gotta acknowledge how much value I get from our convos, aside from the happy brain juice. You're bringing up many points that make me realize how and where I could improve my work. We indeed haven't seen Vivi in a "real" fight, I thought it wasn't worth the screentime because the comic's focused on daily life and feels, YET! As time goes on, it becomes more of a sore thumb, a missing beat, a solid chunk of Vivi's life unjustly shoved aside. This's important, and I'm already looking into fixing it. There's plenty of opportunities to show a page or two of combat without changing my script.

"This Crystal Mystel tends to get broody when left alone for too long" HI??? HELLO?? I'm in SHAMBLES

Wehhhhh ;w; <3 I received so much love for this line aaaaaa. Thank you so much. Their casual greeting and body language indeed hint at a shared past, I'll be sprinkling in more of their interactions and flashbacks throughout the years.

Anyway I apologise for taking so long, I've been trying to commit the entire comic the memory before I say anything so I can Really talk abt it >:'3 I give you, the author and artist, a flower as well for all your hard work 🌺

Please never apologize or feel obliged to comment on every episode!! I'm taking great joy in reading and replying to these posts, I can babble on about Fragments for hours, but I don't want this to feel like a job for you ;3;

Also time to give back some flowers, catch~ 🌸🌷🌼🌹🌺🌸🌼🌻🌸🌺🌹🌼🌺🌸

✧✦✧ “Fragments” - episode 27 ✧✦✧

A little girl bested Vivi with her left hand. Exarch's still impressed for some reason. (reason: oblivious fanboy)

New reader? Start here: @ffxiv-fragments

[not-so-anonymous-scotch]

🗣️

so i want to talk about the LL What IF again and a particular part of it.

i have kinda really fallen in love w writing dialogue i think its bc 1) i can say a lot about a character through it and i never thought abt it that way 2) transcribing clips has become a thing i love to do and it makes me think really hard about those details you otherwise wouldnt consider.

important thing is whenever i do another pass on my writing and reread, i learn more and more better ways to format the dialogue. its important to learn. for example:

Bdubs huffed, “What- what? You can't kill me. You're yellow, you can't kill me, I- I got control here, you know that.”

i may edit and turn to:

“What- what? You can't kill me." Bdubs smirked, "You're yellow, you can't kill me, I- I got control here, you know that.”

it can take a moment to realize what might be a better way to display character during dialogue. some times the word choice, like huff, doesnt seem wrong but... i need to split up the dialogue a bit too and i am not sure that works being inserted in the middle as I dont feel like he stopped to huff mid speech.

and i need to also convey better what i meant by huff. sure, i meant like.. a short dismissive laugh, but i couldnt word it any shorter than a huff... and a laugh seemed too 'big' as with chuckle feeling like itd indicate something longer too. a smirk feels stronger to imply during the speech, especially in this whole conversation where Bdubs is trying to be cocky about his status as a red life with Etho!

the dialogue in this whole fic is definitely some of my favorite and its way heavier on talking than i planned so i really hope people will feel its in character, and fun to read.

[sunghun]

jay as your skater boyfriend

requested; yes!!

warnings; uhmm some cursing and mentions of scraped hands/knees??

note; this is so long. goodbye.

when you first met...

skater bf jay........

mm what a Thought

now as previously mentioned

when you two first met

he was kinda cold and came off as a little dismissive

not to mention the fact that he looked really good intimidating as hell

so you were like damn :/ the hot dude with the skateboard doesn’t like me ://

BUTTT

he was actually just low-key nervous and kinda shy

bc he thought you were really pretty :(

so he didn’t talk much to keep from saying smth embarrassing

but finds out as soon as you leave how badly that backfired on him when jake (ur mutual friend who introduced you to each other) was just like

“bro what the hell was that”

“what? what’s wrong??”

“i should be asking YOU that. do you not like y/n :(“

and he’s just like wydm!! y/n is so cute! and pretty!! and nice!!! and i think i’m in love!!!!

and thus begins the journey of jay’s insufferable pining

when he finally confessed....

omg but the next time you guys met he was like. overly friendly with you

bc he wanted to make up for the last time

but really all it did was confuse you

like is he just being nice bc jake told him to??

or does he just feel guilty??

?????

you are confusion

omg but he tried SO hard to look cool in front of you by doing Cool Skateboard Tricks idk what else to call them u guys

but half the time you weren’t even paying attention and when you WERE he’d mess up and just embarrass himself

no but a few months later when he was trying some new move he fell and scraped his hands and knees :(

and you got So worried :((

you insisted that he let you help him

which i mean. he’s obviously not gonna say no to lol

so you guys were just sitting on a bench in front of the convenience store where you got some stuff to clean him up with

the sun is starting to set

and just the way that it’s shining against the side of your face and through your hair

they way that you’re so concentrated on applying the band-aid to his hand just right

that you were so concerned for him

he just can’t hold it in anymore

“i really like you, y/n.”

......

you just fucking froze lmao

“but…i thought you hated me?”

and he's just like o_o "Huh??"

"yeah i mean the first time we met you were kind of...idk intimidating, and you didn't really talk, but then you started being nicer and i just thought that you were doing it for jake :("

and that just makes him so 🥺🥺🥺

he took your hand in his so gently while looking into your eyes

"y/n, i promise you nothing about the way i treat you has anything to do with jake. if i had known that was the way you felt i would've confessed a lot sooner. the only reason i didn't say much when we first met was because i didn't wanna look stupid, but obviously that didn't work because i made the person i like the most think i hated them. i guess i don't need any help looking stupid, i'll do it all on my own."

and you can't help but laugh

and jay just looks at you with LITERAL heart eyes omg

you can't stop yourself from leaning forward and giving him a kiss on the cheek

"if it makes you feel any better, i really like you too."

and thus begins your relationship :D

when you started dating...

pls you two are cute AF

definitely a fan of pda but like in a chill way

like any time you're together jay's hand is practically glued to yours

also likes having his arm wrapped around your shoulders or waist

loves to kiss you in front of the guys just to make them jealous 😜 like lol. single losers

skateboarding dates :(

like after he teaches you how to ride y’all will just skate around together while holding hands :((

luuuuuvs to take you out on late night dates

like going to the playground at midnight and just sitting on the swings and talking about everything and nothing 🥺😭

also veryvery protective of u!!

definitely the type of guy to walk closer to the road when you’re near the street

and really he just likes taking care of you in general

like you don’t even have to ask him for a jacket.

you two will meet up and he’ll notice that it’s a little chilly and you don’t have a sweater or anything

so he just takes off his hoodie and gives it to you

“but babe what about you?”

and he’ll just shrug with a cocky little smirk and be like “guess we’ll just have snuggle close. you know, for body heat.”

would defs tie your shoes for you 🥺🥺

and if you’re ever like “i can do stuff by myself you know 😠 i’m not a baby 😠😠”

he’ll just give you a lil kiss and say “you’re not A baby but you’re MY baby” 🥺🥰

he’d also get you lots of little gifts and things bc they remind him of you

your favorite is the teddy bear he got you when you were sick :(

wait but he would be SUCH a good kisser like 👀👀

everyone complains about you two making out all the time even tho you don’t do it that often

but like hello have you seen him??? you go bestie get that fine ass man

anyways i’ll stop here for that part otherwise things may take a more ✨mature✨ turn and i’m not quite legal yet lol

come see me again in about 3 months and we can talk about that

wait but he would call you So many pet namesssss

whether it’s just a cute version of your actual name or something like angel, sweetheart, sugar, etc.

his favorite is baby tho 🥺 bc as stated earlier he just likes to take care of you 🥺🥺

pls he loves u so much 🤧 sobbing actual tears rn

alright i’m gonna stop here otherwise i may go on all day lmao

basically skater bf!jay is an absolute dream and i low-key made myself sad writing this