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galaxyedging · 2 years ago

Text

Lucien Flores (I think that's his name) x f!reader.

Part of the Exposed Masterlist

Warnings: female masturbation. Talk of smut. Dissing of the remake of Dune.

WC:3K

Summary: Lucien advertises for help with his latest art project, and you eagerly respond.

A Work of Art

After a few hours of restlessness, sleep had claimed you in the early hours. The last minute nerves from last night worked their way back in as the day filtered back into your consciousness. The ad you had replied to along with the details of your meeting sat on your nightstand. The edges of the paper curled where your fingers had troubled it the night before.

The bold print of the ad caught your eye.

Wanted: Women 35+ for exciting adult art project. Must be open and adventurous.

It wasn't much but it caught you gin hazed eyes. The past six months had been rough. You'd gone from the promotion fast track in a high profile firm with a fiance and a soon to be step daughter to single and unemployed. Still it was better than the alternative, trapped in a marriage to a man who wasn't who you thought.

The ad fanned an ember that burned low inside you. The ember that you'd refused to feed in favour of being practical. All these years you'd refused every temptation. Giving up nights out to buckle down and study. Foregone holidays to gain your employers favour. Other passions shelved for you to pour your attention into your study.

Today, you were finally throwing caution to the wind. When you had called the number in the ad a smooth deep voice had answered. His words were almost lost on you as you enjoyed the timbre of his tone.

The he said something that got your full attention. "The art will be sexual in nature."

Apart from your first foray into being footloose and fancy free, a disappointing one night stand a few months ago, the sexual side of your life had been pretty lacking lately. He went on to explain that there would be nothing explicit and you could back out at any time before inviting you down to his studio.

The afternoon dragged before you had to leave for your meeting with Lucien. In an attempt to calm yourself you gave yourself a little pamper session. It had taken you a while to accept the parts of your body that you were less than happy with. With the idea that you might be sharing them with a stranger made you want to make the most of them. Every inch of you was exfoliated and moisturised with your favourite relaxing scent. By the time you were done your nerves had settled. The drive to the studio was short. The neighbourhood had a bohemian vibe. The studio was above a retro themed ice cream parlour that served more modern, experimental flavours. The scent of elderberry caught your nose as you passed.

The short climb up the stairs threatened to take your breath away as your nerves and excitement built. Taking a moment before knocking you were able to regulate your breathing. The moment the door opened all that went out of the window. Your breath was well and truly taken away by the man in front of you.

"You must be my 5 O'clock?" His eyes, deep brown and filled with so much life, appraised you. "Come on in."

The room he invited you into was set up like any photography studio. Except this one had a massage table in the middle. There were cameras set up at multiple angles all aimed at the head of the table. To the side was a black fabric curtain hung on a frame.

Lucien must have seen your face flicker with wonder. "Hey. It's cool. I know this might seem a little daunting. As I said on the phone, you are under no obligation to stay. You can leave now or let me explain, then leave. I really hope it's the second one because I'd love to work with you but there's no pressure."

Truly you didn't feel any pressure at all. There was something about his presence that made you feel relaxed around him. "Can I get you a drink?" When you declined, deciding to err on the side of caution and not accept a drink from a stranger, he excused himself to grab a water.

In his absence you made yourself a promise to think critically about what he was asking. The critical thinking was necessary as he was hands down the most attractive man you had ever met. Eyes you could get lost in, a beautiful, easy smile. The jeans that he wore clung around his thighs and ass, showing how definite they were. His shirt was open down to a couple of buttons at the bottom. It revealed a scandalous amount of his broad chest and long neck. Both were dotted with freckles that you couldn't help imagine connecting with kisses. The line you'd drawn for yourself, about what you would or wouldn't do, was now a dot in the distance. One look at him had made you hurl yourself over it.

"Please, sit." He let you sit in his desk chair before perching across from you on a coffee table littered with papers and equipment. "So as I said the art is explicit in nature. We'll go through that in a minute. I just wanted to explain why I chose you. From the questions I asked you on the phone you seem confident, secure in who you are, fun loving. These are all qualities that I'd like in this piece."

His praise heated you up. "Thank you."

He smiled brightly. "I'm not trying to flatter, I'm being honest. You're beautiful too so that will add another layer to the project."

For someone who wasn't trying to flatter, he was doing an amazing job.

"So down to the heart of what I want. I want to explore how women's pleasure evolves with age. I want to capture something real and beyond the normal social standard of sexual pleasure. The media seems to think a woman's sex life ends at thirty."

"When you say 'capture', you mean you want to take a photo. Of…?" The line suddenly came into focus again. As gorgeous as the man was, anything pornographic was off the table.

"Your face. Specifically mid orgasm."

"Oh…"

"I wouldn't be evolved in the orgams part. The curtain would be set up across you so I can only see your face."

"So you want me to masturbate and you'll take a picture of my face when I…" you trailed off.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it. The photos will then be used in several collages. I'd make it difficult for you to be recognised. I would also like a brief interview about how your experience of an orgasm has changed with age. I'll use snippets in my work."

"That sounds interesting." You felt like you needed to buy time to process.

"Do you like ice cream?" The shift in conversation was so sudden all you could do was blink at him. "I want this project to be as authentic as possible. I need you to be relaxed around me. I was thinking while you take some time to process you could get to know me a little. Or a lot if you like. If I'm going to know you in an intimate way, it should go both ways. You can ask me anything and I'll answer honestly. I thought you might feel more comfortable doing that in a public space. The place downstairs does an amazing mint choc chip with popping candy in the chips. It's refreshing."

"Well, there goes my first important question of what your favourite ice cream is."

Fuck, he was handsome when he smiled. And that smile was all for you. A public place was definitely a good idea before you did something you would regret.

"So on to my next most important question."

"Go ahead." His face turned serious, his gaze narrowed on you, emphasising the angles of his face. It spurred on your attraction even more.

"What is your favourite dinosaur?" The laughter that peeled from him gripped your heart.

"That is important." He pursed his full lips in thought. "T-rex. Big and scary but filled with comedic value. You?"

"You want to know what my face looks like when I come AND my favourite dinosaur. You, Sir, are too bold."

Another peel of laughter filled the air as he guided you towards the door.

The time at the ice cream parlour was like the best date you'd ever been on. Several times you had to remind yourself that it wasn't actually a date. Lucien was very open, he answered your questions about his love of art, foster by his grandfather. His upbringing, fairly normal, he grew up in California spent time in New York studying. His family. Only child, two successful, busy doctor parents so he spent a lot of time with his art teacher grandfather.

Finally, about his passion for finding the truth in his work. "I've lost a couple of friends because they weren't able to be their true selves. Society wouldn't let them. From then on I decided to help uncover all the truths that society wants to keep tucked away, to keep people down." His brown eyes shone with tears and conviction.

"I'm sorry, about your friends." You hand rested over his on the table. For a brief moment he turned his hand to cup your before giving it a squeeze.

"Thank you." The tension between you was cut short by the bell above the parlour door ringing.

The tension lingered in your body. You used it later than night to see what the photos would capture. The video on your phone showed, to you, a pretty standard orgasm face. Feeling bold in your post orgasm high, you text Lucien to see if he wanted to see some screen shots for reference.

If you're okay for Tuesday, I'd rather see it for myself. I'm glad that you feel comfortable showing me, though.

The high and the shield of your phone screen made you even more bold.

There's something about you that makes me feel comfortable. I enjoyed your company today.

The dots on your phone seemed to flash forever before…

Me too. Hopefully that will aid the process and we can get some amazing shots together. See you Tuesday. L x

The little kiss made your heart skip a beat.

When Tuesday came around you turned up with your best lingerie under your casual outfit. Not that you expected him to see it. He assured you that the curtain would hide everything and it wasn't as if you had thought of him seeing it in any other way. Like when he bend you over his desk to fuck you. Nope. That was definitely not on the mental list of things you had made to help you get there. Lucien had said you could have whatever you wanted, except visual porn, he didn't want your eyes focused on something. Old school always worked best for you so you declined to bring toys. Lucien offered to stream audio porn but truth be told you were hoping to hear his voice. The deep velvet rumble of it stoked something inside you.

"So I'll give you some space. There's sheets there. I don't know if you want to undress then cover yourself or keep your clothes on. Just lay down, slip your head through the curtain, they can be velcroed in place by your head, and call me. I'll stay behind the camera during the session. I will approach you to add a piece of fabric to keep the curtains closed, if that's okay?"

"Yes. That's fine."

With a reassuring smile he left you to it. Five minutes later you called him back in, opting to wear your clothes. Your outfit of leggings and an oversized button up shirt gave you plenty of access.

Lucien came over to fix the curtains. "Comfortable?"

"As I'll ever be. So you just want me to touch myself? Any particular way…?"

"I want you to imagine you're at home and this is just for you. You're doing it for whatever you normally would. Horny, rough day, to sleep, unresolved sexual tension…" he laughed lightly at that one.

It made you think your attraction wasn't one sided.

"Are they the reasons you usually do it?"

"Those and boredom. I'll tell you, that didn't go down well during the Dune remake." When your brows furrowed he quickly added. "That was a joke. I just meant that move was boring."

The laughter it brought you relaxed you. "Right?! I swear I almost fell asleep."

The tension in the room came right down. Enough that you felt ready to go. "I'm going to start…"

"You can stop at any time. Anything you need just ask."

"Thank you."

With his voice in your head and the scent of him still lingerie from when he was near, it was so hard not to look at Lucien as you began to touch yourself. Not wanted yo make him uncomfortable, you closed your eyes. In your mind it was him touching your breast. His fingers sweeping your clit and probing inside you for that spot. The thought of him watching helped get you to the edge in record time. Unfortunately, that's where you stayed.

"I'm close, I just can't…stage fright I guess." You couldn't even bring yourself to open your eyes to look at him.

"It's completely normal. I did some reading beforehand. Just relax. There's absolutely no pressure. If you can't this time, we'll try another day." There was a pause as he took a deep breath. "Or I could help you? In a way."

"Help?"

"Not touching you. I just…I noticed how you reacted when I told you why I chose you. Maybe I could talk to you?" The offer was casual, almost business like, just an exchange of services.

Because that's what this was. He was compensating you for your time as a model. This wasn't a thing between you. Nope. The thought of him talking to you didn't make you wetter. It didn't take everything you had to casually answer. "We could try that. It might help."

"I wanted to work with you because you seem to have a strong sense of self. I knew you'd know exactly what you wanted in bed. Then there was that spark of life that was undeniable in you. The curiosity. The humour. Then I met you. Fuck, you're gorgeous. I knew you'd look good on camera. Like you do now. So beautiful. Those pretty lips parted. You're even closer now aren't you? I want to take your picture. I want to capture your unfiltered beauty. Can you come for me? Can you let go? I want you to come for me."

"Oh. Oh, yes. Yes." You had no idea what your face looked like as the pleasure worked its way up from your toes before crashing into your fluttering cunt and splashing outward.

"Oh. That's it. So fucking beautiful. So real." The way Lucien spoke, excited and breathless, it sounded like he was the one that had just come. He collected himself.

"I'll give you a minute to get dressed then show you the pictures." A door opened and closed. You attempted to peel your boneless form from the table. It took a few goes but you eventually got up. Lucien had shown you where the bathroom was to get yourself cleaned up. Even you had to admit that the face staring back at you from the mirror was prettier than the one that came in.

"Lucien?" You called once you were ready. He appeared from the other room. His shirt was now untucked. He looked a little flushed. A part of you hoped that he'd needed a moment to give himself some relief.

"Right. Let's see." He gestured to his laptop. The two of you stood side by side, arms touching to peer at the small screen.

"These all looked good, clear shots." His language was professional but the way he swallowed thickly wasn't."

"So I did well?" You looked into his eyes to see if his answer would be the truth.

"So well." He breathed as the space between you got smaller.

The next couple of minutes was a blur of lips and limbs tangling until your back hit a wall and the evidence that he had not given himself some relief pressed at your core.

Your hands slid around his waist and under his shirt. His hand came back to stop them.

"Wait. We can't…remember? I asked that you don't indulge in sexual activity until the project is over." At the time that rule seemed easy to follow.

"Oh, right."

"It seemed like a good rule at the time." He huffed a laugh. "And one I would like to still follow. I want you to focus on your self pleasure."

"Self pleasure? So I can't take pleasure from anyone else? Can I give it?" You rolled your hips against him.

"Fuck." He pinned them in place against the wall. "See, this is that spark I was talking about, you naughty fucking girl." His teeth bluntly grazed your neck. "Oh, Lucien."

"I can't let you touch me. I don't think I could draw the line. All I'm thinking about is turning you around and fucking you against this wall. I can smell your sex. I want to bury my face in it before I bury my cock."

"You should save that talk for next time."

"So you're coming back?"

"Yes and I expect more of your help next time."

"Yeah? I can do that. I'll tell you everything I've been thinking of the past few days."

"I look forward to it." You restrained yourself to a simple kiss to his full lips before leaving.

That night, a message came through from him.

A little tit for tat.

The messages that followed showed his beautiful face screwed up in ecstasy. The lines around his eyes from a life well lived even more noticeable. His full pout parted in a perfect O. You had no trouble with your next orgasm.

Tags @kirsteng42 @prolix-yuy @thegreenkid2 @hquinzelle @fangirl-316 @gracie7209 @jedifarmerr @doommommy @scorpio-marionette @sturkillerbase @harriedandharassed @aynsleywalker @mswarriorbabe80 @quica-quica-quica @rise-my-angel @adancedivasmom @kinda-nobody @movievillainess721 @munsonownsmyass @mandoloriancookie @faceache111 @elegantduckturtle @shadowtrick

#pedro pascal character fanfiction #lucien flores #the uninvited #lucien flores x f!reader #yep i wrote about a character we don't know yet #again #i'm sorry

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destinygoldenstar · 1 month ago

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I Don’t Ship These Two. You Have No Proof. *Reaction Compilation Part 1*

(Oh really Golden?)

Ninja dude. And... other dude.

(Man is a gender bent Marinette.)

...when was this released?

Four months after the TD Reboot.

Well this is a remake of a beta, so... yeah. Total Drama said "We're gonna add queer characters to the cast. FIRST queer characters." And this show said "Am I a joke to you?"

I'm gonna call it though, that's gonna go horribly wrong. You date a ninja, you're ASKING for pain. I've watched Ninjago.

(Called it even at the very beginning)

That boy has my thoughts exactly!

***

"I want to talk to her but she scares me a little."

What did she do to you?

"She reminds me a little of my grandmother. How she walks, how she talks... I miss her."

"She's been sick for months and she can't have visitors."

Oh my god...

Is that why he's competing? Medical bills to help her?

Well geez, keep that up and I might actually root for you to win.

"Yeah, she was often cranky, but she was the only one that really understood me."

You on the spectrum?

"Jake... I don't know what to say, but if you need to talk to someone, I'm always here."

D'aaaaawwww 💗

That face.

He was eyeing Tom all of last episode too and I just didn't bring it up.

(👀)

YOU ARE NOT SUBTLE, SIR

***

"I'm really curious what you look like without it."

...

EXCUSE ME?!?! O_O

BOY. YOU JUST MET.

***

THOSE FISH DON'T LOOK SAFE TO EAT

Tom's like "That's funny, all my teammates suddenly died of poison. Oh well, guess I'm in the merge!"

I mean he's a sus ninja hiding shit, he could be a serial killer.

***

"Whatever happened to minding your own business?!"

Okay chill! He was trying to be nice to you!

Come on, he's been a very sweet guy so far and is giving you all a chance. What's there to snap about?

We'll see how well that statement ages. (Thanks for making me paranoid Caleb)

(SPOILERS, IT AGED TERRIBLY)

Plot twist: Jake and Tom are both secretly evil. Tom is a serial killer. Jake was a prominent bully back in high school.

***

"I feel bad for letting the team down..."

"I wish I could do it, but, it's just... hits too close to home."

OH... HONEY.

"I lost my grandfather when I was a kid and I always went with my mom to visit him and leave flowers. That place caused me a lot of anxiety. Now my grandmother's sick and I know it's only a matter of time before... you know..."

My gosh...

Alright. This guy is my best boy for this show.

He got me way too invested in his story.

(AND I STAYED A JAKE STAN THROUGHT THE ENTIRETY OF THE SEASON)

***

"He knew things I didn't want anyone to know."

"I just can't tell anyone about my hobbies, okay?!"

"As long as Grett doesn't tell either of them I should be fine."

Hey Grett. Maybe you should tell Jake something. Just a thought.

...

WAIT I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, HOLD ON-

"For some reason I have the urge to tell Jake something. Huh, wonder who this Golden Voice is."

(You can blame me)

***

"Someone here has been watching you."

"Two people actually. The first is me because I'm currently stalking you. The second is that fruity boy."

***

Oooh, swimming episode!

Tom is STILL in his suit XD

(Jake) "Hey uh, Tom, the sun can't reach you if you're underwater. I don't think you need to be wearing that. You don't want to get your normal clothes wet, right?"

(Tom) "Eh I never found use for a swimsuit anyway! Besides! The sun will dry them up quickly!"

(Jake) "Doesn't that go against what you told us earlier?!"

(Tom) "My relationship with the sun does not concern you! No it's not toxic what are you talking about?!"

But he's not wearing the hoodie anymore! That's an improvement!

I feel like we're gonna get a Tom face reveal at some point, right?

(FORESHADOWING)

***

"I'm already tired of always eating fish."

Yeah, that has to get tedious after awhile, especially if you guys are THAT hungry and have no choice.

I hate seafood. I wouldn't survive.

"What are you craving?"

"Chinese takeout. I always order that at home."

My sibling actually loves Chinese as well... I'm a Mexican person, though.

"There's a restaurant I live near that'll knock your socks off. We should go when this is over."

TOM. Are you... ASKING HIM OUT?!

"Hey, your eyes... they're pretty. I never noticed since you've always got that hood on."

AWWW AND THE RETURNED FLIRT?!

THE BLUSH, OMG

...yeah I kinda hope you kiss now.

This is how you make relationships Total Drama. You meet. You get along. And you be cute.

And I am waiting for this to go horribly wrong cause in shows like this, nobody gets a happy ending.

Except Mike & Zoey I guess.

(WELL THIS AGED POORLY, DIDN'T IT?)

***

Why is Jake the only one cheering and supporting his teammate?

(Because he's a twink in love)

This boy is precious. Look at him. He's PRECIOUS.

***

OMG THE PHONE! I FORGOT

PLEEEAAASSEE tell me they take advantage of this!

ALSO, not even a second into the episode and I already caught the fruity boy staring at a certain someone.

***

Go call your grandma Jake. Tell her how you love her and you're gonna help her with the money.

Maybe this one will be a bit wholesome.

"Hey Shawn!"

"Hey... Jake..."

...

What...?

"What's up? Is everything alright?"

"I'm sorry..."

*I covered my mouth to hold back a gasp*

"A couple of days ago... grandma passed away..."

OH MY GOD NOOOOOOO

*I'm actually upset for him*

Oh my god...

OH MY GOD HE'S CRYING. OH MY GOD.

"Mom told me not to tell you till you came back... but I had to..."

He's still going. Oh my god...

"You're lying..."

"She was conscious for a few hours before she got worse..."

JUST STOP. JUST STOP TALKING.

"She wrote a letter... I'll give it to you when you get back... I'm sorry man..."

JAKE, I'M SO SORRY. THAT'S AWFUL!!

I'm actually hurt as well!

AND THEN TOM COMFORTS HIM?!??! AWWWWW 😢

I thought he was here to help her! I didn't think she was gonna die before he can even get back! That's horrible!

YOU ALL BETTER GIVE HIM VIRTUAL HUGS.

***

"Teal Team I hope you enjoyed your call home!"

BRUH. NO. DON'T EVEN.

(Tom looking at him)

(They're ALWAYS looking at each other)

***

"I don't think Jake's in the mood to run around looking for ingredients."

Thank you Tom. Thank you for being so supportive of him and understanding his situation.

(We love kind and considerate boyfriends)

***

"Jake, how are you? Do you feel better?"

He might still be mourning. Idk what his mental state is after that.

AWWWWWWWWW💗

Now I'm actually giddy. What is wrong with me?! Why are they so great?

(I DON'T SHIP THEM)

Going in, I was expecting Toxic Yaoi just cause of Tom's spy shit, but they're actually so sweet and wholesome and good for each other.

(SOMEONE IN THE WRITERS ROOM FORESAW ME SAYING THIS AND SAID "WANNA BET?")

"I'm here if you need anything."

I can't imagine how it's like for Tom. I don't think he was imagining getting close with someone just cause of the spy profession.

"I like this boy, I want to be around him and help him out."

(And also date and kiss and cuddle with, you know, normal friend stuff)

"Now don't worry about getting us breakfast today, I will get us the usual."

Idk how I like the sound of that tbh. XD

I just imagine Tom coming back and calling everyone to the meal. "BREAKFAST IS READY!!!"

...and it's just char XD

That also implies they work together to prepare meals for the group EVERY DAY. I love that.

(It is my firm head canon that Tom is a SHIT cook)

(Jake is the cook of the two. Tell me I'm wrong.)

No not Grett changing her facial expression from that!

"I smell gay! I didn't ask for that in my coffee this morning!"

(Best girl Grett is homophobic)

***

"Do you like him?"

*Covers mouth to hold back the giddy noise from my mouth*

*Failing*

(I DON'T SHIP THEM)

Oh my god she's actually going there! I did not expect that.

"Uh... maybe. He's just really good as a person towards me and I feel like we're really opening up to each other, you know? It's not that deep... maybe we'd go out for Chinese sometime. Maybe we'd catch a movie together."

"Tom, do you like him?"

"Uh, no?"

Huh?

You're lying. You gotta be lying.

"You always smile when you're talking to him."

"It's just... I like him, but not in that way."

Liar. Your scenes together say otherwise.

(I DO NOT SHIP THEM. AND MY REACTIONS DON'T SUGGEST OTHERWISE IN THE SLIGHTEST.)

"I'm not ready to be in a relationship."

Oh...

Oh is that what it's about... yeah I would understand that.

"Recently... I was in a somewhat toxic relationship and things didn't end well."

OH.

Oh now that makes a lot of sense.

Was it SOMEWHAT toxic, or...?

I'm probably thinking too angsty about it.

"He cheated on me. And... I couldn't get over it."

OH MY GOD HONEY.

Well no shit you wouldn't get over that. That's awful!

Why did he do that?! Why would he want to hurt you like that?!

(Then again everyone wants to hurt Jake, soooooo...)

"Well you're young, unlike me, you still have a lot of time ahead of you."

Yeah... you can find someone better.

Oh shit, Grett...

OH WAIT CAUSE SHE KNOWS TOM IS A SPY, SHE SAW THE NOTES. OH MY GOD I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GONNA DO.

And because of Jake's past experience, he is NOT gonna take it well!

OH NO...

(And so it begins)

***

He really is not subtle, is he?

"I don't want to be in a relationship or push it further, but I didn't say I can't crush!"

Tom's like "Why you pressing your hands like that?"

"I'm a wittle scawed of the bullets..."

***

Oh shit here we go...

"Golden told be awhile back to tell you something very important!"

"Hey Grett. Maybe you should tell Jake something. Just a thought.

...

WAIT I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, HOLD ON-

"For some reason I have the urge to tell Jake something. Huh, wonder who this Golden Voice is.""

DAMMIT ME, I TOLD HER TO SLAY. I DIDN'T SPECIFY WHO TO SLAY.

SLAY PASS MISFIRE

(It's MY fault the ship sank)

"Tom was lying to you. It was Tom who voted for Drew."

Ooooooohhhh god...

I'm like preparing myself for the blowout.

"Because Drew found out his little secret."

"What secret?"

"The whole sun sensitivity story is fake. He lied to you because he's a spy."

*DREAD*

"What are you talking about? Is this a joke?"

*DREAD*

"He's here for work. You mean nothing to him other than a way to blend in more."

*DREAD*

"Come on Jake, Grett has clearly lost it."

IT HURTS BECAUSE SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH

I'm CONFLICTED. Not my best girls HURTING my best boy!!

What do I do? Do I support her...? I don't know...

OH NO HE'S BACK.... UGH...

At least it's earlier in the season so they have a chance to bounce back... I don't... I don't know...

This is gonna be so ugly. Jake is gonna be HURT.

"I get hurt and traumatized by my ex! I lose my grandma! AND NOW THIS SHIT. I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK!"

(Stop Making Jake Suffer Challenge. Level: IMPOSSIBLE)

"Tom! You're not gonna believe this!"

"Believe what?"

"Grett was saying the strangest things about you!"

"Wh-what did she say?"

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHH *mouth covered*

"She said you were the one who voted Drew because, get this, he found out you were a spy?!"

NO TOM YOU CAN'T ACT?!?!

I mean I don't think he should lie any further, but...

(You are the worst spy ever)

"I can explain!! It's not what you think!!!"

"Wait what? It's true?!"

"It's not that simple!"

Just hear him out! I can explain EVERYTHING! I know you're upset, but please hear me out!

"Oh my god... it really is! So you're just here for your job!"

"And our friendship, was that just to blend in too?! Did you ever care about me at all?! Was any of it real, HUH?!"

JAKE, HONEY, I'M SO SORRY.

I know you being upset is understandable! It still hurts!

I can imagine what's going through his head though. His loved ones have a habit of either dying or lying to him and hurting him, and now turns out his new crush is a spy?

"Jake, calm down-"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!"

OH GOD

"I don't owe you anything! It's my life! Step off, Jake!"

DON'T BE LIKE THAT, YOU'RE ALREADY OUTTED!

"Oh EXCUSE ME if I don't want to be part of your 'super cool' spy plan!"

"Can you stop telling the whole goddamn neighborhood?!"

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!

And they got shot...

Oh my god, I need a minute to CALM DOWN.

Was that... I mean I know that was a Tom liar reveal, but was that a Jake true personality reveal?!

Is he an asshole?!

Goddammit, he IS an asshole, isn't he? I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.

(Remember when Jake was just the shy and sweet precious bean cinnamon roll crushing on a guy and the only thing he ever did wrong was kick someone in the nuts? I miss those days)

I'm calming down, I'm calming down...

Tom and Jake are gonna drive me FUCKING. CRAZY.

***

They're STILL pissed.

Miriam is gonna come to me like, "Golden, you're having Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight."

(I am, indeed, eating Toxic Yaoi and somehow enjoy it. I might be high.)

***

"I don't know if I can trust Tom after betraying the guys alliance..."

FUCK YOUR GUYS ALLIANCE.

THAT'S ALL YOU TALK ABOUT.

And besides, it's screwed.

Tom and Jake divorced.

"I'M STILL ANGRY AT YOU! WHY DO I KEEP LIKING PEOPLE WHO HURT ME?!"

(Jake, word of advice, your problem is that you have a bad taste in men. Too much toxic yaoi ain't good for the heart.)

***

DEAR GOD JAKE.

"THIS IS MY DIVORCE PAPER!"

Dammit, why'd he have to be an asshole, huh?

***

'JAKE'

NO SHOT THEY BOTH THREW JUST CAUSE THEY WERE SO PISSED WITH EACH OTHER

"AND NOW YOU VOTE FOR ME?! WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME?!"

(They both signed divorce papers)

(And later, despite Tom having voted Jake before, he gets pissed when Jake votes Tom. I smell hypocrisy.)

***

OH NO HE POSTED IT?!?!?!

OH THAT'S BAD...

Oh god, that's gonna be bad for Tom's mission, isn't it? Whatever it is he's doing.

I mean lets be honest though... that post isn't Jake's fault. How's he supposed to know that would happen?

NOT ME DEFENDING JAKE AFTER THAT-

(Actually, YEAH, now that I think about it. HOW is Tom getting fired Jake's fault exactly? They're on LIVE TV. And Grett already said the S word aloud before Jake ever did. So TECHNICALLY that's Grett's fault Tom got fired. Not Jake's.)

Ugh... I had a gut feeling though, cause I saw people HATING Jake's character and calling him the worst.

HE'S AN ASSHOLE, NOOOOOOO...

Okay, BUT, I don't hate him. Surprisingly enough.

I'm actually intrigued by his character a lot more now.

I thought he was gonna be the precious bean. The sweetest character. But no, he's petty and impulsive.

I HAVE to give credit though, this is NOT something that came out of nowhere for me. He did snap at Nick in Episode 4 for stubbing his toe, and they established this episode more of Jake's past to add more context to his POV.

So he was in a toxic relationship before and got betrayed by it. That makes perfect sense to me. I understand why he'd be pissed. Tom lied to him.

But he DEFINATELY overreacted towards it. It's one thing to yell at the heat of the moment, it's another to vote for him just because you're pissed.

So, yeah, I'm not excusing his behavior, I'm just understanding WHY.

"OH NO! A character is revealed to have FLAWS. And said flaws made things worse for other people! Well clearly I hate them now!!"

I'm not doing that.

I'm just not that kinda person in how I view media. I don't hate characters just because they have flaws. When you're watching Total Drama, you gotta have that mindset too. Cause in that show, there's A LOT of characters that do screwed up things and it's wrong. So I'm used to it.

If anything, I guess Jake being revealed to have negative traits makes him a lot more interesting now. Cause yeah, I've been there. It sucks. Well, I wasn't in a toxic romantic relationship, but a toxic friendship when I was younger. It lasted for years so it left me pretty distasteful to the people around me and everyone hated me for... acting like Jake did here, honestly. How bout that?

Him and Tom are gonna BREAK ME, I can tell.

(CORRECT)

At least the lie is outed earlier in the season, so it's not as bad as it could've been...?

Like, it would've been a lot uglier later and it resulted in one of them getting voted off.

(FORESHADOWING)

But at least they can work this out, right? Cool off, come clean, and repair the damage. Then go out for Chinese Food and hang out by the lake. Everything will be fine. They'll get their Chinese date. IT'LL ALL BE FINE.

...god, looks like I'm having Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight.

(YES. YES I AM. I'M IN DENIAL.)

I DON'T SHIP THEM AND YOU HAVE NO PROOF

Continued In Part 2 Of The Lack Of Proof>>

#disventure camp #disventure camp jake #disventure camp tom #tomjake

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gren-arlio · 1 year ago

Text

I'm back after a small break. Welcome to Waku Puyo Extras.

Hello everyone, I'm alive once again after taking a small break and from posting on a Wednesday. It's been a bit, but I think we'll be back on schedule now. Might throw a funny image or the sort down here every Extra, IDK.

I want Extras to be more casual than the others, so besides the actual translating part, expect me to be more informal and joke around more.

First things first, I want to start off by saying thank you to everyone who reads these. Wasn't expecting so much support from the community, and it was a fairly good motivation boost, so I feel more confident than ever about what I do now.

With that thing outta the way, I think I'll start this post by something simple: Revisions from previous episodes. Obviously, when I started, I wasn't so great at this, so I made a couple of mistakes, notably:

Schezo (unfortunately) doesn't call Rulue a bitch in the first episode. Wish he did but alas, he doesn't. Instead, by an anon telling me, he more calls her a "Meat-headed woman," or something along the lines of "All Brawns and no Brains."

This also goes for episode five, where Schezo first hears Doppelganger Schezo. While yes, he does call Doppel "Kisama," a very rude version of saying "You," with how Puyo is, I don't think they'll be hard swearing anytime soon. I believe it's more of "You little..." or just "You," though any Puyo translation experts can correct me on that one.

This post will have two things:

A new video. It's a short one.

The Menus for the shop, provided by @kirstenonic05. Special thank you to you.

With those minor things out of the way, time for the first actual part of this:

A whole new video.

youtube

It's not a long one at all. It's fairly short compared to the rest.

This was the Witch and Succubus thing from my Retrospective. It's fun.

Timestamps:

Schezo says "Hm? There's no one here..." at the start.

Succubus Refight: (23:30, defeat at 25:25)

Witch Trade Offer: (27:25)

With that, this'll be the Read More section of the blog.

Succubus Refight: (23:30)

Schezo:

It's you again!

Succubus:

Why are you so happy about it?

Schezo:

Hey, how does that remotely sound happy?

Succubus:

You're not very honest, so your sense of joy is very twisted.

Schezo:

Don't decide that on your own!

Succubus:

As usual, you're still shy...You okay? You can be honest with yourself. ♡

Schezo:

Leave me alone!

Succubus:

With that, I want you to be my servant. ♡

Schezo:

What's the "Why" then! I've had enough!

Succubus:

Well...guess I'll have to force you to be mine.

Schezo:

Oi, oi, that's the woman's line!?

Succubus:

Come on, be mine!

Schezo:

No thanks!

(After her defeat, she says "Ahh...I can't take it anymore..." and then when Schezo opens the chest, it says "Schezo got a book.")

----

Witch Trade Offer: (27:25)

Schezo:

Dang (or Damn)... it wasn't here either...

But what exactly is this Grimoire?

Witch:

Ahh ♡ (Here we go again.)

Schezo:

There she is again...

Witch:

You...I want it. ♡

Schezo:

Ugh, you're persistent! I'm not getting undressed here!

Witch:

...I was going to say "I want that Grimoire that you have," you know.

...Though of course, I'll take your clothes too. ♡

Schezo:

(Hm, is this grimoire really worth that much?)

[Text says Give or Don't Give. They say Give.]

Witch:

...I finally have my hands on the "Meteor Grimoire".

...Yes, in return, I'll give you a copy of the "Areiado Special Grimoire".

Schezo:

Ah...

Witch:

...Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go.

...Oh, and as for your clothes, I'll get them later. (WE WENT 3 SENTENCES WITHOUT CLOTHES BEING MENTIONED. HUGE DAY.)

Schezo:

"The Areiado Special Grimoire"!? Well, let's see if it's true...(it was.)

-----

For the past 3 years I've had this image of Witch from Puyo Tetris saying "SHE will turn you into HORRORS BEYOND ALL COMPREHENSION." and never understood it. Now I do.

(Maybe someday there'll be a remake. Or I'll remake it IDFK. This single girl has given me like 3 sleepless nights from translating, so thank her for that. Still my 3rd favorite character)

That's the small translation piece out of the way, now it's time for the good part.

SHOP MENUS.

Thanks to Kirstenonic helping me out, I've now been able to translate the menus of the shop. You'll still be a bit confused by some stuff but its better than nothing, I hope.

youtube

There'll be no timestamps for this.

Here's how it goes:

The player goes into this menu, and this happens: (this part will look odd.)

Momomo:

Welcome to the shop.

Icons appear, from the left side being:

[Cash held: 58]

And the right being:

[Buy

Sell

Back]

Player clicks buy.

Momomo:

What do you want to buy?

The left now shows:

[Cash

Cost]

Page 1:

Magic Crystal:

A mysterious crystal that revives you when you hit 0 HP.

Curse-Breaking Scroll:

A scroll that removes an equipped curse (I assume debuff.)

Scroll of Light:

A scroll that makes floor traps, magic circles, and scrolls disappear.

Water:

Nothing will happen if you drink it. Its just water.

Hermits Wine: [Unsure of the name.]

Restores MP by 50.

Medicine:

Restores HP by 50.

Green Potion:

A potion that restores your status at the cost of half you HP.

------

Page 2:

Delicious Herbs: (It also says Grass but I'm going with Herbs. Replace Herbs with Grass if wanted.)

Edible Herbs. Might cause a stomachache.

Gentian Herbs: (Type of flower.)

Herbs that make your strength go up by 1.

Cotton Herbs:

Herbs that make your skill go up by 1.

Zoysia Herb: (Or the No-Mow flower. Both being the same. Had to study a bit about flowers.)

A herb that increases your magic by 1.

Happiness Herb:

Herbs that increases your luck by 1.

Spinach: (...Is it spinach?)

Slightly restores HP.

Mental Herb: (Slightly unsure of this name.)

A Herb that restores MP.

Antidote Herb:

Herb that cures poison.

-----

Page 3:

Geranium Herb: (Another flower.)

Herbs that make you stay afloat for a while. (...What?)

Apple:

An ordinary apple that'll fill your stomach.

Golden Apple:

Level up by 1. A mysterious apple.

Curry and Rice:

A normal bento that'll fill your stomach.

Super Spicy Curry and Rice:

A bento that makes you feel full, but halves HP.

Large Curry and Rice:

A very filling bento.

Special Extra-Large Curry and Rice:

A bento that'll make you full.

Don't overeat it.

Ice-Storm Grimoire:

A grimoire that allows Arle to learn this spell.

-----

Page 4:

Palm of the Fire/Water God: (They have the same description.)

A manual Rulue can use to learn this special skill.

-----

The player then goes back to buying to see Momomo lines.

Momomo: (In order.)

What're you going to buy?

I don't think you have enough money. How about something else?

That'll be 30G. Will you buy it?

There's no reason not to buy it.

-----

After that, they go to sell.

Momomo:

What are you selling?

Showing the menu, it's:

?Medicine

?Medical Ring

?Medicine (Back to back.)

Ring of Fire (1)

?Ring

?Medicine

?Food

They click one of the ? items.

Momomo:

What're you going to do?

Menu pops up with:

[Sell, <-

Identify,

Break Curse

Stop]

Momomo:

Unidentified things are worth 1G. Is that okay?

(They say yes, and leave.)

Momomo:

Thank you for your continued patronage.

Hope to see you again. (At the very end.)

-----

That's episode 1 of Extras. Bit scuffed, but it'll ease in. Have a few things planned for next time. And remember, if you want anything specific from the game translated, let me know. I'll try my best.

That'll be all. Thanks for tuning in.

#Youtube #japanese translation #madou monogatari #schezo puyo puyo #waku waku puyo puyo dungeon #sega #puyo puyo #sega saturn #witch puyo puyo #succubus puyo #puyo #wwppd #extra content #schezo wegey

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shadowcutie · 6 months ago

Text

... please excuse me I need to scream for the next 10 years ...

I'm NOT okay.

I HAVE TO WATCH [redacted] GET 2ND LEAD SYNDROMED AGAIN DON'T I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's goooooooo!!!

It would be pretty fricking amazing if they changed up the ML and 2nd ML this time, haha--wouldn't that be crazy??

And for everyone who wants to suffer with me, here you go:

Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (1996-2004) - the original manga, which I never read just skipped through. I watched 5 adaptations...I got the gist haha

Hana Kimi (2006) - Taiwanese adaptation, took a while to grow on me tbh but I love it!

Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (2007) - Japanese adaptation, the first one I watched I love it so much!

Hana Kimi Remake (2011) - Japanese adaptation, wonderful! I don't remember anything crazy new/changed but hey... I watched it happily, I don't give a damn.

To the Beautiful You (2012) - Korean adaptation, it's amazing! I think it might be my favorite adaptation, definitely tied with the 2007 version.

Runaway Sweetheart (2013) - Chinese adaptation, I... have to confess... I haven't finished this one!! I really should go back and finish it.

I saw a Hanazakari no Kimitachi e otome game but it was already discontinued by the time I learned about it, not that I would have been able to understand any of it if I did play... BUT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY ONLY TIME TO GIVE [redacted] THE LOVE HE DESERVES AHHHHHHHHHH I'm so sad

#Hanazakari no Kimitachi e #[redacted] is obvious if you have read any amount of shoujo manga lol #Hana Kimi is one of my favorite stories it's so fun I'm so happy to see it again but GOD DAMN IT my heart can only take so much pain lmao #And that's not to say I don't like the ML... he's fine... just meh...

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allcolorsoftherainbow · 1 year ago

Note

Okay, I'm also curious about Cinderella but Everyone's Gay (lmao I hope that ends up being the real title)

Hahaha I think it might:D

This is actually the only fic idea back from my K-pop area that I plan on finishing? Because here the people I based the characters on feel like they are there to tell a story that is somewhere beyond them?

Basically, the way my country retells the story of Cinderella is quite particular and there is a very popular film from 1974 that has recently (2021) had a Norweigan, more modern remake where the two prince's male companions are in a romantic relationship? And I loved that so much I wanted to turn it into a fanfic and then I somehow made Cinderella male and then suddenly everyone was gay:D

I already have this fic planned scene by scene but there are a lot of scenes so it's taking a while to get through. Here's your snippet from what I've already written, I hope you don't mind it's of the only straight "couple" in the story, I thought it was a cute one.

[just to clarify, Yuna is the supposedly mean step-sister except she's not mean at all, and Jimin is another servant, the male Cinderella's friend]

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Yuna whispers as the royal carriage approaches and the servants run around to ensure a smooth arrival.

“What are you talking about?” her mother turns to her. “You were born for this.”

And maybe, these words would be comforting under different circumstances.

Seeing your mother believe in you.

But Yuna doesn’t feel that at this moment, not with her mother constantly reminding her to stand straight, smile, and not forget to bend her knees so that she doesn’t intimidate the prince with her height.

She tries, she really does, but it doesn’t seem all that relevant, especially not the last part, as the prince didn’t bother showing up.

That's how Yuna sees it, anyway, and how she tells Jimin later on, when they’re sneaking leftovers deep into the night.

“You might be wronging him, you know?” Jimin asks as she throws Yuna an apple. She catches it with ease.

“Please, he “fell behind because of studying the beauty of local nature?” Bam the horse can come up with a better excuse.”

Jimin smiles a little at that remark, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“You still got an invitation to the ball though, right?”

Yuna sighs. “We did.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I don’t know. I want to go but I’m also nervous about this whole “prince” person. I mean, I haven’t even seen him, nor has he seen me, and now they want him to choose and marry me?”

“It is a little backwards process, yes. But who knows, maybe he’ll actually be a good fit for you.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Yuna replies but it could not be less convincing.

Jimin reaches forward to bump her shoulder lightly.

“Hey,” he says when she looks up at him. “If anything goes wrong, I’ll come to rescue you. Will Bam, full armor and all.”

Yuna’s smile gives them both a little more hope.

#cinderella #k pop #ao3 #fanfic #my writing

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goombasa · 10 months ago

Text

Thoughts on the Super Mario RPG Remake

So hey, guess what I got for Christmas?

Okay, so, to give a bit of context to this, the original Legend of the Seven Stars on the Super Nintendo is one of my favorite games of all time. I played it backwards and forward and I've probably played through it start to finish more than any other game on the SNES. I love the world it created, and felt like one of the first big proper expansions to Mario's universe, rather than just being an incidental new place where the game was taking place. I love the new characters we were introduced to, particularly Geno and Mallow, and I was always disappointed that we never saw them again. I mean, I get WHY we didn't, the game was made by Squaresoft pre-Enix merger, and as such, most, if not all of the game's original characters were the property of Square and not Nintendo.

Oh, and of course I love the fact that this would be the impetus for other Mario-themed RPGs down the line, including Paper Mario, its sequel, the Thousand-Year Door, and the Mario and Luigi series… not that either of those series are in particularly good shape these days. But this was the start of it all.

So imagine my surprise when Nintendo announced during the Nintendo Direct in June of 2023 that there was a remake of this game in the works for the Switch, AND that it was going to be released later that same year, just in time for the Holidays!

I never thought it was going to happen, but it was happening. One of my most favorite games of all time, was getting remade, from the ground up, and brought properly into the third edition! Holy crap! AND GENO AND MALLOW WERE COMING BACK, BABY!

But… the more that I thought about it, the more my excitement died down. How would the gameplay hold up? Were they going to change a bunch of stuff about the game? Would they add a bunch of superfluous fluff? Who was even making it? It wasn't made by Nintendo or Square-Enix, but by a third party called ArtePiazza, a studio that up until this game came along, I hadn't actually heard of before. I was worried, and that worry was only exacerbated by how much this game meant to me personally.

Thankfully, all my worry was for nothing. This is not only a very faithful remake that makes changes only in what I personally consider the right places, but also a reminder of how much these older games tended to be better about respecting a player's time.

And now I'm gonna talk about it all.

The Developer

As it turns out, ArtePiazza has a long history of working with Square Enix, and were actually the primary developer behind a lot of the remakes of classic Dragon Quest games, as well as the CG designs and scenario designs in others, so they definitely know what they're doing when it comes to RPG remakes. It's not really surprising that I hadn't heard of them before, as they were more a background studio that offered assistance rather than main development.

This isn't the first remake they've been responsible for, like I mentioned, and I definitely think they did a great job with it, but I kind of wish I knew a bit more about the studio as a whole now, but information on them is a little bit on the sparse side, aside from the list of projects they've worked on which mostly consists of the Dragon Quest series, and a small handful of other RPGs here and there.

The Story

Hokay, so, this is a Mario game, but it's an RPG. That basically means that you have a very typical RPG setup, and at no point does it feel like the game is treating itself very seriously. I say that as a positive, because the story is paper thin here, basically an excuse to have Mario and friends go all over the place in this weird and wonderful world that has been created here.

The story itself wasn't really changed at all from the original. It is as close to the original as possible while at the same time altering some of the weird mid-90's quirks of the script. Most of the changes are minor, like removing the Bruce Lee name drop just before the Bowyer fight, and a few of the names of certain characters and enemies were changed. The only one that I kind of wish they hadn't changed was Mack, the first commandert of Smithy's forces that you fight in the game. His name was changed to Claymorton in the remake, which does make sense, it's still a pun on his weapon of choice, but in the original, he was known as Mack. You know, as in Mack the Knife? Pun on the song? Because he's a sword, but still… kind of a knife?

Okay, I get why they changed it.

Point being, if you are a fan of the original, nothing here is going to ruin any sort of memories you have of the story, simple as it is. Whatever changes they made are negligible and it retains the same flow, and most of the sillier moments are preserved perfectly here in the remake.

The Characters

Like the story, there's not a huge amount of characterization here, so if you were expecting the remake to suddenly give more depth to anything here, you're going to be disappointed.

At the same time though, none of these characters really needed much in terms of depth. Their designs and personalities are more than enough to carry the game. The villains barely get much of an introduction in this game, simply showing up at designated points to be the antagonist for that particular chapter of the story, and yet every single one of them has such a striking design and an interesting personality (for the most part; the aforementioned Claymorton is about as generic as it gets, save for his design and pogo-sword gimmick) that I don't think ‘depth’ is every really an issue. Entertaining is probably the best way to describe the characters here. Even the most minor of characters manage to leave enough of an impression that you are never going to mistake one person for another as you journey across the Mushroom Kingdom here.

This is something that carries over beyond Smithy and his gang to the one-off minor villains you run into, like the fame-hungry Punchnello, the underwater pirate Johnny, and of course the completely detached from reality Booster and his Amusement Tower.

Also, you fight a sentient wedding cake at one point, and the ending to that fight is legitimately hilarious.

And then there are the playable characters. Mario is given more of a mischevious bent in this game, and I was really surprised to see that they kept in some of the less flattering moments for our hero. There's a point where Mario's ready to just deck a child in the face for basically saying he isn't as good as Geno. And there are the many moments where Mario, rather than just recapping past events to other characters will just mime his way through what's happened, basically playing every character at once, and it's fantastic. This was one of the first times in the series where Mario had a lot of character beyond just being a heroic jump man and I think it did a very good job at conveying that character.

Also, you can make Mario say some real mean things to people in this game and just be a dick, which doesn't really have any sort of consequence, as most of the ‘yes/no’ questions, you do have to eventually agree in order to progress, so there's generally no reason NOT to make Mario talk negatively at least once or twice, just to see the other character's reactions to him just flat out refusing to be a hero for once.

Princess Peach is how she always is. She spends the first good chunk of the game in her usual role as a damsel in distress, and even after she joins the party, she doesn't really get a chance to shine on her own. Mechanically she's one of the most important party members, but in terms of personality, she really doesn't stand out much once she joins your party. I kind of feel like she had more dialogue before she was rescued than after. It's not a terrible portrayal, but you can definitely tell that this was written during a time when Peach's role was mostly to be the damsel, and the fact that she was part of the main party was enough to celebrate, whereas steps have been taken in future games to give her a bit more personality, and to make her a more active element in the story. It's especially noticeable when you compare Peach to Bowser's portrayal.

Bowser is fantastic in this game. This was the first time Bowser was shown to be anything more than just a big, evil brute in the games. Back in 1996 this was pretty unprecedented, and it really made Bowser into the more endearing, well-loved semi-villain that he is today. Like, yeah, Bowser is evil, but at the same time, he's also a bit of a dork with self-confidence issues who thinks he's way smarter than he is, and it's just… it's just so great. It's to the point where, even in RPGs where he is the main villain, Bowser is just as much comedy relief as he is an antagonist. It's the same here. After defeating him early in the story and then slowly watching his forces dwindle down to nothing as he tries in vain to defeat smithy on his own, Bowser is just a delightful curmudgeon to have on the team… even if, in terms of mechanics, he was actually the character I ended up using the least throughout my playthrough.

But then there are the newcomers, Geno and Mallow. I love them both, from an aesthetic point of view. Mallow, being a little cloud creature does fit right into the Mario world without issue. Geno's a bit more unique looking, but his role as the guardian of the Star Road fits right in with the occasional character guarding a super powerful area or relic or long lost power source that seems to crop up, even in the regular platformers now and then. And as they aren't really Mario characters, at least not in terms of the main canon, the writers did have a bit more freedom with these two, though not a huge amount was done with that freedom. Geno is about as static as Mario, Bowser, and Peach, though he's certainly a talkative character. I never really got much of a vibe for his personality though, as much as I enjoyed his design. Mallow is unique amongst the main cast of the game in that he's really the only one of the five that has something resembling a character arc. Orphaned as a child, wanting to find his real parents, and learning to be more confident as a result. It's really simple, much like most other subplots in the game, what few there are, but it does give his character more agency in the plot beyond the shared goal of wanting to stop Smithy from taking over the world.

Speaking of Smithy, can I just say how much I love the idea behind him. He's an alien blacksmith who literally forges the enemies that you fight, making sentient weapons that are completely loyal to me. It's an intriguing idea for a villain and I kinda love it. It almost makes me a bit disappointed that he just exists to be a villain. We don't know anything about him, what he does, where he comes from, whether or not he's done this to other worlds and so forth; Like I said before, we don't really need all that stuff for this to be a great game and an enjoyable story, but the fact that I'm not disappointed and yet I'm still asking these questions about the villain does tell me that I think he's at least an interesting force, especially with how much he's built up over the course of the story before you finally confront him. He might be one of my favorite Mario villains just for his concept alone, and that extends to his minions, all of whom are based around various weapons, their names a pun on the weapon they're based on. It's great stuff.

What the characters lack in depth or complexity, they more than make up for by just being absolutely off-the-wall strange, and I am here for it.

The World

Exploring the world in this game is a pretty straightforward experience. Folks tell you where to go and what to do, and then you do it. You pretty much will never find yourself wondering what you're supposed to do next, and that's without the need of a waypoint or a radar or even anything to really remind you of what you should be doing, though the remake does give you a handy journal function to remind you of recent events and any interesting information that you've gleaned from talking to people.

While the original didn't have any journal or fast travel functions in it, moving around the map was fairly snappy (actually much snappier than in the remake) and the areas and dungeons were small enough that revisiting them for whatever reason never felt like much of a chore. However, adding in modern sensitibilities and accessibility options for the convenience of the player is something that I will always welcome, especially since they slowed down traveling on the map quite a bit for the remake.

But that's about the only thing that feels like it's been made slower. Mario no longer needs a button held down in order to run on the overworld, running is just his standard mode of movement in this remake, and his speed is a very happy medium between his walk and run speeds from the original, and it works perfectly for getting around quickly enough and avoiding enemy encounters, not that you'll really want to, as combat is really fun, but I'll get into that later. Platforming also feels better in this version as well. The original wasn't bad perse, but the sprite-based isometric layout of the game combined with the strange ascent and descent speed of the jump could make platforming a bit tricky. And yes, the game does have platforming, usually in optional mini-games

While the areas themselves are small and even somewhat linear in their layout, the isometric layout of everything does make exploring worthwhile, and of course there are always hidden treasure chests and enemies to keep a lookout for. There are even invisible treasure chests scattered all over the world, with a particular NPC in the game that will even tell you how many hidden treasures in the world you haven't found yet, how nice of them! You can find a bunch of stuff just by talking to the individuals and poking around in every nook and cranny, whether it's directions to a hidden treasure room in the forest maze, a challenge to hit a certain number of consecutive bounces using your jump attacks, or hitting a button in Booster Tower that opens up a completely new screen in the previous area. And that's to say nothing about the rush that you get when you grab an invincibility star and just plow through a ton of enemies in the overworld.

And you get Experience Points for it!

The Combat

The combat is fantastic, from all angles, and is probably the part of the game that was both the most heavily altered, and the the most improved in this remake. And make no mistake, it was already pretty solid to begin with. The timed hits mechanic, where you can push a button to either increase the strength of an attack or defend yourself against an incoming attack or spell and potentially eliminate all damages if your input is timed well enough.

However, the old game, for as good as it was, could be somewhat vague about what you could and could not block, and also what the timing was for certain attacks. It also limited you to only using three out of the five characters at a time and you couldn't change characters mid-fight. Also, Mario always has to be in your party, so party composition couldn't be super varied. The remake addresses most of these issues, and in pretty decent ways.

First off, if an attack is unblockable, it will say so in the corner when the attack name is announced. Then, whenever an attack is used against you, or you use an attack, an exclamation point will apear above the character's head, letting you know when you should be hitting the A button. While decent timing will get you a small bonus to damage or defense, if you perfectly time the button press you'll either completely eliminate any damage you take (defending) or you'll dish out extra damage AND cause a small shockwave that will cause a small amount of damage to all other enemies (attacking). It's a smart system, and encourages you to learn the tells for both your enemies and allies. to maximize your offense and defense.

Oh, and that exclamation point? It doesn't stick around all the time. After you've successfully gotten a few perfect hits and blocks, the indicator will stop appearing. However, if you start missing the timing frequently on the same attacks, it will come back to help coach you into properly hitting that sweet spot. Depending on your team composition, you'll also get bonuses to certain stats if you manage to keep a combo chain going of successful attack and defense. And speaking as such a big fan of the original, I actually needed that help getting the timing down. With the new 3D models, the animations are far smoother, and also a lot quicker too, leading to the timing feeling a lot trickier. This game also has a lot more attacks that can be blocked with a button press, and I'm not sure if they could always be blocked in the original, or if the timing was just that strange. To be fair, the timing on these particular magical attacks (Diamond Saw, Bolt, Storm), they're really tricky to get down, even with that helpful little indicator.

The ability to switch in party members from idle during battle is also more of a boon than I thought it would be. In the original game, you were stuck in combat with whatever characters you had in your party, and generally I never switched out specific party members, save for some very specific fights. I'd almost always go with Mario, Bowser, and Peach, and end up leaving Geno and Mallow behind. It isn't like the game ever forces you to use them again anyway. But in the remake, you can swap out a character without wasting their turn, something that becomes very useful for characters afflicted with status ailments or knocked out, or when you just want to experiment with other characters' abilities against certain foes.

And by far, the biggest quality of life improvement to the game's battle mechanics were with its special weapons. The system itself remains unchanged, you have a pool of flower points that is shared by all your characters that they use to utilize their special attacks. In the original game, these were, by a large, kind of useless, at least in my opinion. Apart from some specific fights, all I would use special attacks for was for Peach's healing abilities (which makes her super powerful in this game, she can basically keep everyone hale and hearty all on her own so long as you don't let her get KOed). It is true that plenty of enemies in the game have weaknesses to elemental attacks that party members have in their special attacks (Mario's fireballs, Mallow's thunderbolts and snowy powers, and so forth… also Mario's jump attacks count as their own element too), but there was very little indication about whether or not using a special attack on an enemy was actually affecting them any better than your regular attacks. Add in the fact that powering up the special attacks required more involved button inputs (pressing the D-pad in a clockwise rotation, rapidly pressing the attack button, holding it down and releasing it at a certain point, etc.) and sometimes I just wasn't sure if I was even using them right.

The remake on the other hand, gives you plenty of ways to know just what would be best to use against your enemies. First, when you use Mallow's Thought Peek ability (Psychopass in the original game), you not only get the enemy's remaining HP total, but also a list of everything they're weak against, including status ailments as well, which can also encourage you to use all those items and spells that inflict statuses on your enemies rather than just having those collect dust. When you use an attack that hits an enemy's weakness, or a resistance, it will TELL you that, letting you know that, yes, you are doing something right. And those special attack inputs I mentioned before? The game gives you a visual cue that not only makes it very clear what you're supposed to do, but gives you visual feedback on how well you performed the action, so you're always sure exactly how well you're performing them.

I don't want to say that the original was terrible in this aspect, but the original never really made special attacks feel like a necessary piece of the puzzle beyond healing abilities, and some early game fights that benefited from Mallow's screen-hitting attacks. It was balanced in such a way that using your regular attacks was still perfectly optimal. In the remake, not only was I more often switching out party members to change up my strategies during fights, but I was using special attacks a heck of a lot more often because I could be sure that it was something that would be effective this time around, which in turn made both Mallow and Geno feel much more helpful overall. This is actually the reason why I ended up using Bowser much less than I did on the SNES version, as he is a useful tank, but I found Geno's status as a glass canon and Mallow's ability to cover and reveal multiple weaknesses to be a lot more useful compared to Bowser's interesting but underutilized ability to inflict a lot of status ailments. Combat just doesn't last long enough to make status ailments useful to use.

I would even go as far as to say combat overall feels much faster than the original. Not that it was slow before, but the animations just feel much snappier and more fluid and the lack of really needing to think too hard about what you're doing from turn to turn means that most regular fights are going to be over within three turns. The game's balance is just perfect in this regard, especially if you're new to RPGs. Speaking of which…

Breezy Mode

Look, the original Mario RPG was not hard. At all. And that was by design. It was built to be an RPG for people who didn't play RPGs but were familiar with Mario as a series. Combat was simple, the numbers were kept small, the level cap was very low, and the timed hit button presses kept people engaged and alert during combat, rather than just encouraging them to mash the attack button the whole time to get through the fights quicker. You're never confused on where to go, the few puzzles the game throws at you are very easy to figure out and dungeons are relatively small, quick affairs with only the occasional gimmick to spice up a boss fight here and there, such as Bowyer's ability to lock down a button.

I've gone on record in this post saying that accessibility options are a good thing, and I mean that. More options and more difficulty settings will always be a good thing, and there, it is no different. I just personally find it funny when a game that is already built to be easy and accessible goes even further and gives you an option to make the game even easier. It's a good thing, to be sure, and it's especially helpful for those struggling with the timed button presses. Heck, if that was all this mode did, it would have been a perfect accessibility option in general, but it also decreases the EXP needed to level up, and decreases the overall battle difficulty, lowers the HP for all enemies and bosses while still keeping the story the same. They took an introductory RPG and made it even easier to get into for anyone who is even remotely curious about the genre, and with how many RPG series are transitioning into more active combat systems and leaving the old turn based systems behind, I think this is a great way to introduce the concept of how these older RPGs functioned to people who just didn't grow up with this era of games.

The Post-Game

So, this is basically the biggest thing that was added to the game. As faithful as the remake is, one thing I'm very glad to see being added is a little bit of post-game content. There's not a lot of it, but it is there, and I felt compelled to talk about it.

The original game had no post-game. At all. In fact, there wasn't even anything after the credits, which was the style at the time. Games would usually just end, and stay on their THE END screen until you reset or turned off the console. Here though, after beating the main story, you unlock a brand new questline that will take you back to past locations to rebattle harder versions of bosses you fought during the main story, like Booster, Punchnello, and Johnny, and these fights do something very interesting: they really dial up the gimmicks. I mentioned before that gimmick fights weren't really all that prevalent in the main game. I mentioned Bowyer, but off the top of my head, there are also the two fights against Belome where he'll either eat one of your party members (the first fight) or clone your party members to fight alongside him (the second fight), and the second phase in Johnny's fight which turns into a one-on-one duel with Mario. However, each of these extra fights dials up the gimmickery quite a bit, to the point where they can feel somewhat like puzzle fights, as each one has to be fought in a very particular way.

You fight Booster, and if you let him finish his work, he'll drive a train into your body, dealing max damage to everyone on screen, basically guaranteeing a party wipe if you don't interrupt him and take out the snifsters, who are going to be encouraging him the whole time. You fight Jinx, who will instantly KO a party member if you fail to land a properly timed attack. You fight Punchnello, who has built up his defenses so high that the only way he can be hurt is by turning his bombs around towards him. There's even a rematch with Johnny that is once again a one-on-one with Mario, but this time you can't even use items, meaning that surviving the fight is going to be down to learning how to defend properly against all of Johnny's attacks. All of them CAN be blocked, but he has some pretty annoying timing for all of his attacks.

This all culminates in a rematch with the game's hidden superboss, a Final Fantasy inspired villain known as Culex. You fight him in his original 2D form during the story if you find the key to his door, but during the rematch, he has achieved a perfect 3D form, and man oh man, is he a challenge, well worth it if you're craving something that's actually pretty difficult in a game meant to be more welcoming to new players.

What I like about these fights is that they are essentially tests to see how well you've mastered the game's timed hit mechanics, and it makes you feel good for properly mastering them. Even if you're at or near max level (which is pretty easy to do in even a casual playthrough), these bosses will challenge you. You even get some new equipment for each of the extra bosses, usually super-powerful golden weapons for party members that didn't really have an ‘ultimate’ weapon the way that Mario and Peach did (the Lazy Shell and the Frying Pan respectively). You don't really have a reason to use these weapons since at this point you've basically done everything else in the game at this point, but the fact that there is a tengible reward for doing this post game stuff is always fun. And your ultimate reward for beating all the extra bosses and then defeating Culex? You gain the ability to fight Culex as much as you want, and see how fast you can beat them. It's not the greatest reward, but the fact that the developers went out of their way to include something to do after the credits roll in a game that initially just ended after that? I think that's really cool, especially considering just how much tougher these fights are compared to everything else in the game. It's just nice to see something that challenges you and your knowledge of the game's mechanics beyond what is usually required during a basic playthrough.

The Future

If I haven't made it clear at this point, this is a fantastic game. The original is a fantastic game, and it isn't often that I find a remake that can stand toe to toe toe to toe with the original, and while there are differences between the two, they mostly balance each other out. Both can be played and enjoyed easily, and while the remake does have a lot of very helpful quality of life improvements, the original version's more deliberate timing with its more limited animations still makes it very fun to play, it's just a different feeling.

I hope this game continues to sell well, and my biggest wish is that this means that the future for classic style RPGs will continue to be strong, or maybe we'll see some more new Mario RPGs that are quick, snappy and simple like this one, rather than these strange pseudo-RPGs that the Paper Mario series has turned into, or the drawn out, boring slogs that the Mario and Luigi games became.

But between this remake, and the upcoming remake of The Thousand Year Door that's supposed to be coming out some time this year, I have hopes that Nintendo is using these to guage interest for another original Mario RPG game.

I'm also hopeful that we might be seeing Geno and Mallow in games beyond the one they originated from. I'm not going to pretend that I know the details of whatever agreement Nintendo and Square Enix reached to make this remake a reality, but I'm hoping there was enough wiggle room for Nintendo to actually do something with the characters and concepts contained therein. At the very least, maybe Mallow and Geno will be able to appear in games outside of their origin in a form that's a bit more than just a glorified PNG, or a little background element cameo. Again, because I don't know the details of the agreement between Square and Nintendo for these characters, I can't be sure if this is just really wishful thinking on my part (game publishers are notoriously controlling over the IP that they own, with Nintendo being cited as the biggest example when it comes to their characters), but hey, I never thought we'd ever get a remake of this game, let alone one as polished and fun as this.

Thanks for reading all the way to the end of this post, it ended up a lot longer than I actually meant it to be, I just couldn't help myself and needed to gush as much as possible about a remake of a game that I have held dear to my heart since childhood, and I hope that this is a sign of more RPGs of this nature from Nintendo, or featuring Nintendo characters.

Who knows, with all of these remakes, remasters, re-releases, and smaller scope games that are coming out for the Switch as of late, this might be the year that we get some ideas about what Nintendo's next console is going to be, and what sort of games might be on it. That might be something to talk about down the line.

#Super Mario RPG #Remake #Thoughts #Lotta Thoughts #Like Too Many Thoughts #I think I went on with this for a little bit too long #Sorry about that #not really #had a lot to say #really love this game #Y'all should really play it if you can!

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ladydimitrescuspet · 3 years ago

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Just This Once, Your Ears Only

AO3 link! this is for my anon that just found out about miss d and the pallboys and wanted a fic about it so here you go! I hope y'all enjoy this and apologies for any grammatical errors!

Tag List (form to join): @lord-dimitrescu, @alwaysgoodnight, @paint-it-periwinkle, @lightspica, @ultimatebottom69, @sexyheisenbeast, @crazy-obsessed, @squid3, @inlovewithalcinadimitrescu, @the-obscurity, @sapphicalciee, @ladydimitresculove, @solemnnova, @itsyourgirlmalise, @the-little-shadow, @marvelwomen-simp,@rachelthefanfictionwriter, @d14n4ol, @peachesandlesbians

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Alcina didn’t talk much about her past and that was fine. You always cherished the things that she had told you about her time before Mother Miranda and the cadou. You never pushed her to tell you more than she was comfortable, but when you found that old jazz album in a box your curiosity was piqued. How had she not told you that she used to be in a jazz band called Miss D & the Pallboys? Honestly, you were pretty shocked that Alcina hadn’t told you about this part of her life. So when you brought it to her, your find, she was a bit hostile about it.

“Ali, come on. This is really cool.” You said. “I know you don’t often talk about your past, but I really want to know more about this.”

Alcina sighed, rubbing her temples to ebb away the oncoming headache. “Dear, I’ve already said that I don’t wish to revisit such a trivial time in my life.” Alcina replied.

“But I’ve never heard you sing.” You counter. “I’ve heard you hum, I’ve heard you play the piano, but I’ve never once heard you sing.”

“And I’m afraid you’ll never get the opportunity to. My singing days are long behind me and I’d like to keep it that way.” Alcina replied.

You frowned, but ultimately accepted your defeat. “Alright, Ali, I’m sorry. You win.” For now, at least. Time for Plan B. “Can I visit Karl this week?” You asked.

Alcina groaned. “I am not sure how you became friends with that annoying little imp, but I do need you out of the Castle tomorrow so I suppose you may go and visit him then.” Alcina responded. “However, when you leave, have him escort you home. As much as I despise that man-child, there have been lycans spotted around the village and forest more so than usual in the evening, so you’ll be safe with that little idiot by your side.”

You gave her a smile and nod as you did an internal happy dance. “I will call him now to let him know. I’ll even throw in a little threat so he knows you’re serious, Ali.” You teased. Alcina snorted at that. “Alcina?” She hummed in acknowledgment. “Have you ever tried to say something nice about Karl or even tried to be a little bit nicer to him?” You asked.

Alcina looked up at you. “When that insufferable idiot is nicer to me then I shall repay him in kind. Until then, if he keeps calling me lady super sized bitch, I will continue to refer to him as a child. Although, he really is a child regardless of what affectionate nicknames he has for our so called family.” Alcina replied. “But Heisenberg being nice to me will never happen in a million years.”

"Are you willing to bet on that?" You asked. Alcina whirled her eyebrow at you. "If Karl does something nice for you then you have to sing one of your jazz songs for me."

"And if he doesn't?" Alcina asked.

"Then you get whatever you want from me." You replied.

Alcina hummed. "And if I want you chained to my bed all day to do with as I please, I can have that?" You nodded your head. "Then I believe we have a bet on our hands, dear."

You gave her a nervous smile before excusing yourself from her study. After you left, you made your way to your own study. The thought of it made you smile. Alcina had realised that you didn’t have a room in the castle to call your own, so she allowed you to remake one of them into your own, so to speak. It was still decorated the way Alcina had, but now it had more of your things in it to keep you occupied if Alcina went out for a meeting or if you just needed a quiet space to be in.

The first thing you did upon entering your study was call Karl. You let him know that you’d be over early and you even mentioned the bet you had going on with Alcina. “Lady Super Sized Bitch is going down.” were his exact words and they made you laugh. After you said goodbye to him, you called Donna and asked her if she could sew some costumes up for you, the girls, and Karl. You were glad that she had agreed and accepted your invitation to Jazz Friday as opposed to Opera Wednesday. This week’s meeting had been moved from Friday to Wednesday so Opera Night had been moved to Friday. You really hoped that Alcina wouldn’t mind you hijacking her night with your plan and with only five days to get it all planned, you really didn’t have time to work yourself into a tizzy with worrying.

You spent the next day with Karl, telling him what instruments you’d need him to produce for the show. With that taken care of, you could talk to the girls about the surprise and the parts that they’d play for Jazz Night. You made sure all of the Lords had an invitation for Friday. You would’ve invited Mother Miranda, but she was out of the village on business. You were nervous when Friday finally came, making sure everything was perfect.

“Hey, kiddo, don’t worry. Alci’s gonna love it.” Karl said as he fussed over his tuxedo.

You let out a deep breath and smiled at him. “Of course. Or at least I hope she does.” You replied. You held the microphone in your hand when you heard Alcina’s voice.

“Donna, Moreau, it’s a pleasure to have you two with us tonight. I see Heisenberg has failed to join us for another evening.” That made Karl scowl. “Nevertheless, the show must go on. My wonderful daughters and my lovely partner, Y/N, have prepared something special for us tonight. So please sit back and enjoy the show.” Alcina said, finishing off her speech before sitting in her seat.

A couple of maids opened the curtain and you could hear the small gasp Alcina let out, your face starting to heat up. You’d had Karl make a saxophone for Bela, a piano for Cassandra that she could comfortably sit at, a cello for Daniela, and a trumpet for himself. Whilst Donna made tuxedos for all of you. The girls and Karl wore black tuxedos with white dress shirts, the only difference being that the girls had their gemstones on the collar of their shirts and Karl’s didn’t. Your tuxedo was white and you had a hat on with a feather like the one Alcina wore on the cover of the Miss D & the Pallboys album. You managed to not let your nerves get to you as you sang a Nat King Cole classic, Unforgettable. When the performance was over the five of you bowed before the curtain closed.

“Y/N, that was amazing!” Bela said. “I think I saw Mother tearing up out there so I’d say that she loved the performance!”

You scratched at the back of your head, laughing nervously. “Really? I just wish we could’ve sung a Miss D & the Pallboys original for her too, but you can’t go wrong with a classic like Unforgettable.” You replied. “Now you three go get changed, you still have to do that Italian opera piece your mother picked out for you.”

Daniela gave you a hug. “Thank you for putting this together.” Daniela said into your ear.

Cassandra gave you a smile. “And we completely understand if you want to skip the rest of the show. Putting together something like this sounds very tiring.” You nodded your head before wishing them good luck.

The rest of the night was purely opera, but you didn’t have it in yourself to join the others back out in the audience while the girls did their performance. So you had made your way back to the room that you shared with Alcina, putting on your pyjamas and curling up into bed with a book. And that’s how Alcina found you, except you were almost half asleep with the book lying across your stomach.

“Darling?” Alcina called out softly, rousing you from your sleep. You hummed in acknowledgment to let her know you were still with her. Alcina took that opportunity to put on her nightgown before slipping into the bed next to you, pulling you into her side. “Did you put together that whole thing just for me?” Alcina asked.

You nodded. “I did. Not alone though. Karl and Donna really helped out. And Moreau was the one that recommended the song I sang, Mother Miranda bless him for the suggestion.” You mumbled out slightly before yawning.

Alcina pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Thank you, My Love. Now, I do believe I lost a bet so I’ll give you your reward, yes?” You sleepily nodded your head against her side. “Alright, little one, but just this once and for your ears only. And only because you got that idiot oaf to do something nice for me.” Alcina said.

“Be nice, Ali.” You mumbled again, smiling at the grumbling noises that Alcina made at your words but you could faintly make out her saying “Fine,” before you let out a hum of approval.

After a few seconds of silence, you heard Alcina start to sing the words to a song you didn’t know. You could only assume that it was one of the songs she sang with her band and you smiled. Alcina really did have a beautiful singing voice.

#jacquelyn's fics #lady dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #resident evil #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #lady dimitrescu's daughters #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #karl heisenberg #heisenberg #donna beneviento #moreau #salvatore moreau #extra tags

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everything-laito · 3 years ago

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hey,,, i've seen this controversial opinion about laito not being sexually assaulted by cordelia. . .as the only opinion of laito that matters, what are your thoughts on it? i know you've made some posts in the past about cordelia and laito's relationship, but i think that now would be a good time to i guess, remake a post or clarify your thoughts so people could follow along?? i hope you enjoy your day.

*proceeds to crack all my knuckles at once*

This isn't really my own "response" cuz oh boy I'm sick of this petty ass drama lmao. To begin, SKLDJF I'm very flattered that you hold my opinion in that high of regard! I'd say there's others that have interesting interpretations of him too though :) but again, thank you :') glad you enjoy what I have to say!

I know I've already kinda responded to this via a screenshot here, just to hold you––and others reading this––over. As much as this is a great time to talk about a how-to-analysis, I’ll still put that as a separate post eventually, but I still will go over the philosophy of truth and writings etc. But anyways, to answer your initial questions, they’re under the cut!

And no, I’m not specifically calling anyone out here. These are just issues with the fandom that I find as a whole, along with some extremists. Thus, I’m not going to be putting tags for people to easily find this post because I don’t want to be wound up in this drama––once again this is just more commentary on the fandom as a whole, which hopefully you can apply to people you find!

I have a lot of my own thoughts about Cordelia and Laito’s relationship here (just in case if people need it):

1. Goes over potential grooming of Laito, facts about Cordelia and what happened before she did stuff to Laito, and when did she rape Laito for the first time?

2. Stuff about incest and how any relationship out of a parental/child relationship is abuse even if it’s not penetrative sex, more incest stuff, and just more thoughts on their relationship

3. Neuroplasticity, trauma, Karlheinz, and isolation

4. What does sexual trauma look like? And some stuff on Laito’s facade

5. More stuff on his facade, and projection on Yui

6. My thoughts on Laito’s dark fate vampire ending + Conclusion

7. Answering some inbox stuff relating to Cordelia

Sure I realize I might be missing some stuff but that’s just my whole analysis on them. I’ll probably make some follow up posts eventually but I’m not sure when that will be.

But as for this analysis/ramble, I’ll divide it up into sections:

The issue of hypocrisy in the Dialovers fandom:

I- oh dear god. Ok, just saying, there’s a lot of people being like “oh I hate Cordelia because she was abusive” then ??? yo??? Why do you like the boys?? They’re abusive and we see more of them than Cordelia??? I just personally hate hypocrisy. However, it’s okay to hate Cordelia! It’s okay to love Cordelia! It’s okay to hate the boys and it’s okay to love the boys too. But recognizing that you don’t like one or the other just because “they’re abusive” is a fallacy at that point.

The reason why so many people hate Karlheinz/Cordelia/Beatrix/Christa/Richter (or at least start off hating them) is because they are written as the villains of the story! Karl’s the main villain, and the rest (including the diaboys and Yui) are kinda just tragically wound up in his plans. You sympathize more with the boys because you spend more time with them and watch them grow! It’s a whole “us vs them” situation. Since those people were awful to the boys/the boys hate them, you’re like “yeah they’re bad!” But the issue with the whole “us vs them” situation (as in real life) is that people tend to excuse the actions done by the “us” party.

Same thing goes with extreme Karl/Cordelia/Richter fans (I’ve never seen a hardcore Beatrix/Christa fan but they’re probably out there). Some hate the diaboys but love the people in that party. They’ve also done some shitty stuff too! Bro, even Yui has done some terrible stuff! But that’s because she was a product of the events she was thrown into––and same with everyone else.

Karl has been the mastermind of all this, and for me I don’t have any sympathy for him, mainly because we’re not shown anything to sympathize with (except that he just is tired of living but idk why he wants to create a whole new race like lmao science nerd ig, I feel that king). A lot of people like him for his looks, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing––he’s a fictional character, objectify these characters however you want. This is more of a personal opinion of mine though. And maybe people do just sympathize with his outlook on life, that’s totally fine.

But since these characters are all attractive in their own regard, they all get the treatment of “pretty-boy” syndrome (Idek if that’s the exact name for it). Which is just the privilege pretty people get. But again, this is fictional, so it’s not necessarily important in this case. Bro I got into DL cuz of “ooga booga hot vampires” and stayed for the complex lore and characters (especially one complex character, wonder who that could be). I imagine most people got into DL because of that, or out of sheer curiosity.

Ok, I’m throwing out a lot of points but not really connecting them. Lemme give you an example: I don’t like Reiji. His character doesn’t vibe with me most of the time aside from the fact that he’s hilarious. But I just am very neutral/neutral-negative on his character. But I’m not like “oh cuz he’s mean/abusive” cuz LOL EVERYONES MEAN IN THIS GAME. Sure you can still say that, it’s just not a very strong claim. Hypocritical claims tend to be like that. Same with a lot of Yui haters. In this case, they’re more jealous that she’s there and not them, which I’ve explained a lot in this post about toxic femininity and Yui in the fandom etc. But it’s ok to just not like a character! It’s alright! I know someone who just doesn’t vibe with Subaru. She doesn’t know why, she just doesn’t vibe with him. There’s no need to defend it either. But the use of hypocrisy is my main issue, and I’ll get to that in the next section.

(There’s a really good post explaining this too but I cannot find it for the life of me. I think it was made by @/abottleofkarlheinz or @/the-madame21)

How opinions of fictional universes left unchecked can effect real life:

I’ve said this a little bit in that Dialover PSA post I’ve made about Yui that I linked a couple paragraphs ago. But the reasons why people say they hate Yui is concerning. If you don’t like Yui, that’s totally fine! Again you don’t need reasons to hate on a character or defend it. But if you do choose to defend those characters, make sure what you’re saying isn’t out of some other place in your heart. Let me explain.

In that “Yui PSA” post I made, I say how your attitudes in being critical of a fictional universe usually does reflect on who you are as a person, at least when you’re making certain claims. In that Yui post, I say that the hatred on Yui is a result of the “other girl” mentality. On top of that, it erases her experience as a survivor. Yes, this is a fictional character, but bringing that into real life can have some dire consequences if you don’t differentiate them. If you have the same attitude of Yui with other survivors if the “abuser is hot” then thaaaaaat’s so fucked up.

For example, there’s people who have crushes on real life serial killers! That- that’s absolutely disgusting! Those real people killed living people and effected so many lives and families. Dude I have fictional crushes on fictional serial killers, and that’s different, because it is a removed universe. It’s why I can still call myself a lesbian but still have crushes on fictional male characters, for a further example (and vice versa! I have straight friends who crush on fictional characters of their same gender! But that doesn’t make them any less straight. And no, I’m not erasing bi people here either, just clarifying in case if you needed that).

Not being able to differentiate your opinions of a fictional universe can get very toxic. Like I love Laito, but I’m not like “omg I wish he was real so he could do that stuff to me uwu” like no!!! UH!!! I wouldn’t want to date anyone like him in real life! That’s literal abuse! And if Laito was here in real life it’s not a controlled environment, he’d literally be able to do anything with you, etc. That’s what makes a fantasy, a fantasy. They’re controlled.

Also vice versa, some people get really triggered by Dialovers, specifically Laito’s route. A lot of non-consensual acts that he does have been experienced by people in real life in any extent, myself included. For me, it’s a personal escape from that, because it is an environment where I am prepared for those events and can control my exposure to it. For some, they are reminded of the reality they had to experience. Fictional universes are inspired by real life, no matter what way you look at it. Real life people are making it, after all.

I feel like I’m going in so many circles, but trust me, I’m getting to the point.

I- I can’t explain this enough but it is most definitely implied that Cordelia had raped and sexually abused Laito. If it was explicit, DL would be an 18+ game, but they cannot do that in Japan. I’m not going to like defend this point because so many people (myself included) have defended this point. It’s implications carry over into Laito’s character and why he’s like this. He’s a textbook sexual abuse survivor. I just,,,, cannot explain this enough. Same thing with overwriting the abuse of Yui. They get jealous of Yui. Sure I’d say a good chunk of people have ravishment fantasies here. At least the 18+ people in the fandom who are into that stuff. But oh my dear god, ravishment fantasies are super super dangerous to enact in real life. It’s possible to do them, but it would take years of building up to that point in kink. That’s a whole other discussion though and I’m not incredibly comfortable talking about it knowing that minors read my blog (I’ll also have to say here: no minors in kink--its alright to educate yourself but pleaaaaaaaaaase don’t enact on any of those activities until you are of age, and even so that still can be dangerous right as you turn 18).

But anyways, saying that Yui should enjoy this because she’s experienced the ravishment fantasy you’ve dreamed of? Oh fucking hell, if you leave that opinion and mentality unchecked and it goes into real life, that’s incredibly awful. Abuse apologists are absolutely terrible people, almost as much as the abusers themselves.

If you twist the narrative that Laito loves Cordelia or Yui loves the boys at the end of the first game, that’s still––ughhhhhhhh. Especially when it’s so obvious that Laito has so many mental issues with Cordelia. His whole monologue and breakdown at the end of Dark Fate definitely tells us that he has had such an issue with Cordelia. And MB+ Laito is still Laito. As for Yui, dude she literally goes through stockholm syndrome in the first game like it is so goddamn apparent idek how to explain this at this point.

Ok dear god lmao wow, uh I think that’s answering the first couple of questions?

The philosophy of truth:

“Truth” has been an incredibly debated topic in philosophy for years. Truth is more of a subjective item rather than objective. Sure you can have personal objective truths, but they may not be the same truths for others. For example, a tomato is red. However, that tomato is red to me, because I am not color blind. A red-green color blind person may see the tomato as being brown or more muted in color. That’s their truth. They can’t really imagine what red is (ok depending on severity of their color blindness), considering they have not experienced the color red in the same way people who don’t have color blindness do. God uh, here’s a whole ass essay about truth, I’m cherry picking some of the things in there that are relevant to this.

Basically what I’m saying is, truth is very subjective. However, there are philosophers arguing a more objective truth. But that’s a whole other discussion. Also, this isn’t to support any political opinion, but I can use that as an example. Let’s go for well... The death penalty. I’m in America, we have the death penalty in some states. Yes, this is a very controversial topic, and no I’m not arguing the ethics of it here. Just hear me out.

If you live in Europe for example (except in Belarus and Russia––ok when I looked it up they consider Russia in Europe and technically it is but also there’s the whole chunk that is not- lmao even the truth of geography can be subjective), you might be like “yeah what the fuck are Americans doing?” (a common sentiment that I also share lmao). But yeah, what the fuck are we doing? Why is the death penalty still in existence? Yes, there’s statistics that prove that it doesn’t deter crime, but even crime rates is caused by a lot of different things too. Even statistics aren’t always accurate, because of many different factors. They’re not objective either, although good statisticians try their best to get good results and not skew the data. (please try to see where your data is coming from and who it is sponsored by––it matters a TON)

I’d say the closest thing we have as an objective truth to argue the death penalty or not is money. Money, although the concept is subjective, is a very objective currency. It’s why artists hate “exposure” compared to “money” as sole currency. The death penalty is very expensive, and not even used that often.

So, although money is currency made by us, and is technically 75% linen and 25% cotton (in America at least) with some funky dudes n numbers printed on it, it doesn’t sound that special. However, it would be considered as a baseline of some type of “objective truth” in ~society~ because people are typically on the same page of what money’s worth. Even so, this baseline of truth is still subjective! If Bill Gates accidentally has a $20 bill fall out of his pocket, that’s nothing to him! But if someone who’s working very hard to make ends meet loses that same amount of money, it could deal a lot of financial damage to that person.

Ok, hopefully you guys kind of get my drift. There are a lot of theories of truth, I’m just explaining one (honestly I forget the name of this theory) because it is the closest to the types of truth we are dealing with. And in this case, it’s called “canon.”

What the fuck is analysis:

The concept of “canon” is the objective truth that we have when analyzing universes. They’re our bread and butter of interpretation and extrapolation. The art of analysis clings to this notion of an objective truth. It needs a baseline. I’m going off of Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle, because that type of analysis I have the most experience with.

This is called rhetorical analysis. Rhetoric is the use of words in a persuasive fashion, and the analysis part is a breakdown of how words are used in order to achieve persuasiveness. I don’t typically use a lot of explicit rhetorical analysis in my personal writings, but I guess a version of it. Which typically has to deal with intention and execution. A lot of analysis on language has to do with this. Language is incredibly subjective. Certain words carry individual meanings to people. I have gone over the difference between real and lexical definitions before, and I’ll do it again.

I’ll just copy and paste what I’ve said before here from this analysis:

To put it simply, lexical definitions are the definitions you find in the dictionary. This is an “official” and “agreed upon” definition. Real definitions (quite a misleading name in my opinion) is the definition that’s more kind of “felt” in a way and how you internally interpret the word in context (these can be through individuals or any niche group). What I mean by this is that when you say a word (for example) to convey a feeling, you usually won’t know the dictionary definition off the top of your head. You say that something’s “savage” for example when you want to describe something violent or gruesomely awesome (it depends if it’s in a slang context or not) but there’s many lexical definitions (and outdated lexical definitions) of the term. But the first definition that usually comes up is “adj (of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.”

But people typically don’t think of the lexical definition when they learn what a word means; they usually learn the context of it and apply it as such. And that’s what a “real” definition is. Laito has a differing definition of what affection and love is, and that’s his own meaning and what it means to him.

I’ll even add another example to that too. The word “cunt” in english refers to a vagina. That’s just it. It’s lexically synonymous with “vagina,” “pussy,” etc. However, “cunt” has a subjective meaning to it. This is where “real” definitions also come into play. Many people view the word as vulgar and dirty. And that’s cuz we live in a ~society~ lmao. Our use of language has shaped what this word means in a context outside of the dictionary. I’ll do you one more. The Japanese word マンコ (manko) is also vulgar slang that’s kind of like our word “cunt/pussy.” Sometimes I say “cunt” for jokes, but I don’t use it that often to begin with since it’s just a very strong word to most (albeit it’s not that strong of a word for me). However, マンコ is a strong word to many Japanese people, but if I hear it even though I’ve been learning Japanese, it doesn’t have that same effect as hearing “cunt” for me is (which still, idc if I really hear it depending on context) because I haven’t been shaped in a culture that uses Japanese.

Even so, tone, intention, and context is HUGE in this. If someone called me a “useless fucking cunt” when they’re angry at me, I’d be close to crying. If someone told that to me as a joke, I’d be like “lol yeah you right, bitchass” and if someone said that in a consensual sexual context, it would certainly tickle my masochistic heart.

DSLKFJ also sorry if you don’t like hearing that word, I just had to utilize a strong example for this. But anyways, now let’s change the lens to Dialovers.

No, it never explicitly says that Cordelia rapes Laito. It doesn’t. However, there’s this WACKY thing called being able to infer, reading between the lines, and identifying implications. Those are kind of all the same things. However, indirect exposition is used a lot in effective creative writing. The utilization of this type of exposition is more preferred when writing a story, because direct exposition is kind of referred to as “info-dumping” when used excessively. Forgive my jargon: this is just showing vs telling as we’re taught in every writing class. I’m personally very bad at it, which is why I stick to writing these, and stick to reading creative fiction. (NOT SAYING IF YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT THIS TO NOT CONTINUE TO PRACTICE CREATIVE FICTION, I JUST DONT HAVE THE CURRENT MOTIVATION TO GET GOOD AT IT)

Dialovers uses a LOOOOOT of showing. And even so, its “showing” ability is very minimal considering the Japanese language can be vague on its own, it’s medium (visual novel) does not show a lot of things explicitly most of the time (and even when it is shown it doesn’t convey a lot). There’s several CGs of Laito and Yui where it doesn’t show the amount of pain or the dire situation Yui’s in, compared to what she’s saying she’s going through.

When I made my whole breakdown on Laito’s HDB route from Yui’s perspective, I got several comments about how they didn’t realize how bad his route really was. That’s either because people might not have experience with verbal abuse themselves, can’t exactly see Yui’s body language except her head (and even so, her expressions are limited), or don’t know a lot of gaslighting/verbal abuse techniques/have done research into it. Honestly verbal abuse is kind of hard to realize, so I’m not calling anyone dumb here. Despite me knowing a lot of the signs, I didn’t know I went through it––and even so I’ve denied it. And that’s what is so effective about this game though! Especially Laito’s route! Because you’re also sucked in with limited knowledge because you’re seeing this through Yui’s perspective, and on top of that it’s isolating. You can only make so many choices, and I feel like Dialovers is perfect as a visual novel. You get caught up with a lot of shock value things that Laito says, which serves as a perfect distraction for your first time through. But anyways, I’m getting off track.

For example, many people found his Maniac 07 chapter to be very confusing. I broke that one down here as well, and even so I was confused at first (also I was like 14/15, dear god). It tells you SO little, but you know that Laito’s incredibly upset at Richter for some reason, and even so, Yui comments on it a little too. Laito is shown to still hate Richter in DF, but he talks about it a tad more.

Here’s a further example from my writings in that first part of the Cordelia/Laito analysis series but I have bolded the terms I use to convey this rhetoric:

There hasn’t been any flashbacks that specifically show us the first time that happened. However, I believe that there was a flashback in HDB that shows one of the first times. Here’s a scene from Laito’s Dark Epilogue:

Cordelia: ー Laito…Laito… Laito: …Hm? Is something the matter? Cordelia: I have a favor to ask. It just isn’t enough. You can do it, right Laito? Laito: You really are something…So that’s why you came to me again? Cordelia: Fufufu…That’s right, Laito. Come on, quickly… Laito: …Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll love you plenty. Cordelia: Aah…My cute Laito~ I love you. I really do. Laito: I can do it…right? Cordelia: Of course, Laito. Now, quickly…

First of all, ew. Second of all, Laito’s diction implies that this was maybe the second or third time this occurred. He asks a question, and ends it with “again.” We know by this that it is not the first time, but the question also means that Laito might not have expected to occur again. His tone also implies some surprise to it, at least in my ears. His other question, “I can do it, right?” screams hesitance to me. If this scene took place down the line, or after many times he did this with Cordelia, I don’t believe he’d be some level of surprised or hesitance.

That’s what rhetorical analysis is. You take the contextual meaning of the words, the tone they use, and extrapolate what they imply. On top of this, we know that the term “love” here is sexual, implying that they did something sexual. We are not given the details of this, but considering we know that Laito uses “love” before he rapes Yui in the game, we can infer that’s what happened (or something similar) to himself with Cordelia, considering he projects on Yui quite a bit.

I was going to go over what is good/bad analysis, but I think I’ve implied it anyways here. Utilizing separate information from different sources of canon in order to make sense of something is good analysis. That’s our objective truth: canon. I’m not saying I’m the best at analysis, but I am fairly confident in it. It’s how I’m able to attempt to answer some of your “how would Laito react” questions without it being specifically hinted in the game. You cannot cherry pick specific sentences and go off of that alone for analysis. It’s context. It’s reading tone. It’s knowing the characters attitudes towards things, how they speak, etc. There’s a lot going into analysis in general. I know I didn’t elaborate on Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle right now, but that’s for another date I suppose.

Oh dear god I hope I didn’t lose you guys, I know this is a lot of information, but if you have any questions/comments/clarifications, as always, please let me know!

Hope you enjoyed! -Corn

#analysis #ask corn

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repentantsky · 4 years ago

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6 Times Nintendo Asked for Too Much Money, for Too Little in Return, on Switch, or Despite It

I’m critical of anyone who I think is ripping people off, and Nintendo, sadly, espeically since it’s games don’t drop in price, has done that a lot. That’s not to say Sony and Microsoft have never done it before, but since the Direct was an egregious reminder of how they mishandle business, I thought now was as good a time as any to remind people, they kind of have a history.

6. Charging over $100, for a remake’s full content

Now, I will say, in most cases a remake can go full price. If it’s ground up like a remake should be, and adds extra features or content to sweeten the deal, that’s fair play, however, locking content behind a paywall is cheap. Enter Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadow of Valentia. While the base game was just full price, which was 40 bucks on the 3DS, it cost far more to unlock all of it’s extra content. A $25 dollar Amiibo combo back, which unlocked special content, and a $50 dollar season pass, which was mostly just new dungeons and weapons, brought the total to $115 dollars for all it’s content. Hey, I get it, DLC is a thing, but a season pass that costs more than the base game, is just a shitty thing to do. Nintendo even went so far as to alter how they added it up, to make it seem cheaper than it was. To make matters worse, they did all this while giving out free content like crazy on Nintendo Switch games, kind of telling everyone who wasn’t an early adopter of the system, to screw off. It was also the first real screw ball thing they did after Satoru Iwata-San had passed away. Talk about a spit in the face.

5. Overcharging for MicroSD’s.

One of the major problems of the Switch, is that it has too little space for all the games Nintendo wants you to buy on it, and to be fair, that we also want to buy on it. While most first party titles are pretty small in terms of what they require from the Switch, it has a massive 3rd party library as well, and how does Nintendo handle that, by charging double for what anyone could get for MicroSD’s that do exactly what the Nintendo branded ones do. I mean, seriously, imagine paying 100 bucks for 256GB of space, when you could pay 50. Be careful about that though, some MicroSD’s couldn’t be formatted, which would mean you couldn’t you them on the Switch. While that seems to have calmed down more over the years, it still happened at the time, and it still sucked. Overcharging because your name is on a product, is shameful, and screw everyone that does it, Nintendo included.

4. Charging for Nintendo Online.

I get it, Microsoft and Sony do it, and I hate that as well, but at least in return, you can get some actually decent games, and better deals on products, espeically with PSN for the latter, and come on, Game Pass is worth it no matter who you are. Nintendo though, even though it’s cheaper, has thus far refused to release any games past SNES era, a large portion of games released on Nintendo Online are cheap 3rd party rip-off’s of first party Nintendo games, and it really doesn’t appear like Nintendo plans to make the service truly worth it any time soon. As much as I love Nintendo, it’s really hard to justify paying for an online service that nets you so little, but alas, here we are.

3. New Super Bros U Deluxe

Yeah, a full price port of a game is never a good idea, and this whole list could have been made of them. Instead, I’m only going to include a few, but this one might be the worst. I mean, Super Mario Bros U is a great game, but it’s not worth full price just because it got ported. There’s not that much content there, even with the added Luigi U content inspired by the year of Luigi. It’s a hard sell trying to convince a logical person that the same 4 hour game, with an extra hour to hour and a half of content, which is just levels you already played as Mario, is a good buy, because it isn’t. I don’t know what Nintendo was thinking with this port, and it’s sad to see it, but alas, like all Nintendo games, it’s still full price on their store.

2. Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE

I will put it on record that I love Tokyo Mirage Sessions, it’s a somewhat more light-hearted game than the it’s source material, at least from Atlus’ end, but that doesn’t make it bad at all, in fact it’s great. However, it kinda failed on the Wii U, quickly leaving store shelves and never being heard from again until it’s Switch version was announced. It’s still a great game on the Switch, but either Nintendo got greedy, or Atlus let them, and a game that basically a commercial failure, came out at full price same as before, and that was easily a deterrent for many, as it should be. Selling a port of a game that flopped on a system that flopped, isn’t exactly a good consumer move, and yet, it’s exactly what happened.

1. Asking you to pay more for Miitopia

Look, I get that there is certain difference between playing a game on a handheld, and playing it on your 4K TV if you have one, and I’ll admit the idea of play Miitopia on my 4K display is both appealing and hilarious, but it’s just a port. It’s not a remaster, it’s a port. And for that extra 10 bucks we get what, a horse and some makeup? How people can justify that is beyond me. The “Oh I didn’t play it on 3DS so this will be my first time buying it” is an excuse to hide behind because your love of Nintendo is too strong. If don’t call out a company for it’s bad practices, or buy into those practices, they are only going to do worse, and if this list isn’t proof of that, that I don’t know what to tell you. Charging more for a port than an original release is shady though.

And that’s my list, did I miss anything you think was too much on the Nintendo Switch? Let me know in the comments below, reblog this post if it interested you, feel free to leave a note, and hey, if you think I’m biased against Nintendo, just look at the photo I post that’s coming directly after this goes live. Have a good freaking day/night whatever your time zone’s got you on.

#nintendo #nintendo switch #nintendo direct #miitopia #tokyo mirage sessions fe #new super mario bros #microsd #first party #3rd party #fire emblem #fire emblem echos: shadows of valentia #3DS

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cherrysweather · 3 years ago

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Feather Necklace

Simon Blackquill x F!Reader TW: Character death, sad & angry Simon, sad Taka, bad writing 10.825 words total (Of pure trash) ^-- (I think)

It should be sad, but it really isn't; I'm sorry :( (This is the "remake" of my first work "As long as I live")

(I won't link it because it deserves to be forgotten completely)

Enjoy some Blackquill content people <3

“Ok so, are we ready for this?”

“As much as I want to say that I’m ready, I’m not” the woman laughed softly, approaching her friend that was screwing around with the controls of the program

“Weren’t you the one that was waiting for this experiment most?”

“Indeed, but if you’re the one who’s guiding it, I’m afraid that the chances of exploding with the whole laboratory are slightly increased, Aura”

“EXCUSE ME. You’re rude, don’t start behaving like that weeb of your husband” she huffed and almost threw something at her friend

“Remember that he’s also your brother” she laughed and approached the eldest of the two Blackquill siblings with her chair

“Of course, BUT, unlike you, I didn’t choose to spend all my life with him, so you’re the one who got yourself into that mess of a person” she tried to sound as cold as possible, as if to scold her

“Stop it, I’ll get cavities from all this love” she huffed, smiling to herself and looking at Aura from the corner of her eyes not to miss her reaction

“Can you- shut up and think about the experiment!” Aura hit her on the arm as strongly as she could to make her turn and hide the blush that was building on her cheeks “You should be the one guiding it! I don’t even work here anymore!”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell him” she laughed, trying to stop Aura’s hand from hitting her, adjusting herself on the chair “Now come on, or that directo on two wheels will come to be a pain in the ass”

“You’ll think about him, it’s just your director now” Aura sighed before turning back to the screen and controls before her. She checked everything one last time before giving the ok and starting the engines of a prototype rocket, the same that was in the actual rocket that the center will send to the moon next.

“It seems that nothing has exploded”

“Yet” Aura finished her friend’s phrase, both writing what it seemed and not seemed weird, out of place or completely wrong “If it doesn’t explode by itself I’ll set it on fire” she laughed, throwing herself back against the chair, crossing her hands behind her head and enjoying the show.

“Maybe it is better that you don’t work here anymore, arsonist”

“Hey! Since I came here for the first time I always wanted to set something important on fire” she argued way too seriously

“If you want to do that... I’ll watch from the outside” the other woman gradually lowered her voice to avoid inciting her friend

“So you want to see it too!” she started laughing like a proud child, proud of the trouble she had just caused. Their arguing was interrupted by a sudden roaring sound followed by a slight tremor of the ground

“... I think the engines committed suicide on their own” the not arsonist of the two tried to remain serious, but seeing the look on Aura’s face, cheeks full of air to hold back the laughter, she too burst out laughing, dragging Aura with her. “We should warn the other downstairs, maybe something saved itself?” she slowly got up the chair, stapling the paper where she wrote what went wrong

“Actually, Ms. Blackquill junior, you should warn who has to tidy up everything but” she stopped to point at the clock behind her “You also need to go home; the center will close in two hours but your shift is already over. You should stop working this much, at least these last months before that screaming being is born" she sighed, pointing her friend's belly

“I’m fine this way, if I work until late then I come home destroyed and Simon won’t have to listen to me so much before I collapse” she smiled at her, walking out of the laboratory to find who was watching downstairs and hand them the documents that she and Aura had compiled. Outside, the sun was setting and the woods around the building were starting to look quieter like every day around this moment of the day.

“I think he’s waiting somewhere” Aura pointed outside the window the sky and only after some seconds she understood, seeing the large wings and the tiny bandana around Taka’s neck

“Probably he finished work early”

“Unlike SOMEONE” Aura threw her elbow at her friend’s arm

“He's probably preparing to lecture me about my working hours too, you don't need to put yourself in the middle of it too” she slapped Aura’s arm, looking her badly before breaking in a small smile, not being able to get mad at her. That small smile remained on her face as she followed the raptor around the sky with her eyes, almost slipping down the stairs that, to look at the hawk, she had not noticed.

“I see an idiot at 12 o'clock” Aura raised both her voice and arm when she recognized that bichrome pillar that was his brother "Want me to give those documents? He seems already pissed and I don't want to talk to him in that state" Aura whispered to her friend's ear, trying not to laugh right against it

"If you want to give them in my place, I need to sign them" she hit Aura's forehead with hers, taking a pen from a desk after raising her hand to greet Simon too, smiling at him

"Come on then, sign them" Aura clapped her hands lightly to spur her friend to hurry up

"Turn around" she waited for Aura to turn on her own, having to turn her around on her own, since she remained frozen with a confused look on the face. She used Aura's back as a surface to sign the papers, trying not to push her "Here, you can deliver the documents now" she waiter for Aura to take the documents from her hand with that smile she knew pissed her off from how innocent it looked

"I felt like an object. For the first time in my entire life" she took the documents and didn't even give a second goodbye to her friend before leaving, passing near her brother to hit him, for fun, as a greeting.

Following shortly after, the newest member of their family approached Simon, making space in his folded arm to rest her head on his chest, hugging him. "Good evening handsome, bad day at work?" she looked up at him, her chin pressed against his chest and her fingers playing with the tips of his hair falling off his shoulders He hinted a smile, looking down at her too

"Right now I'm feeling a bit better" he passed a hand over her hair before stopping it and placing his wide palm against her cheek, slowly moving his thumb against it

She closed her eyes in those brief moment in which he moved his thumb on her face "I saw Taka flying around in the woods, since when you leave him so free?"

"If it's around here, I feel enough confident to leave him free" he felt something pinch his chest when he looked at her relaxed face, but before she could question his presumably dark expression, he was already dragging her out the center, holding one of her hands in a grip you could call deadly, but it was kind enough not to hurt her, as if she was about to disappear right in front of his eyes.

"Taka bit me again, he really doesn't like me" the girl giggled softly, passing a hand where the hawk bit her, noticing the red skin

"He just needs time to adjust to your presence, hawks work this way" Simon looked up from the documents he was working on, approaching her "Don't worry, he'll understand too how gentle and caring you are" he moved a lock of her hair behind her ear before gently looking where his pet bit her

"Not that he has to, I understand that you two have been together for years and now there's an intruder in your territory" she tried to hide the demonstration of the warmth she felt on her cheeks by moving her head a lot while talking, making Simon smile

"Come with me, some cold water and a skin cream should prevent a scar or a blood crust" he took her hand in his, bringing her to the bathroom nearby "And don't worry, he will hear me"

Luckily it all changed; the bird that before liked to bit her, was now the one that always found a cozy nest on her lap and allowed her to play with his feathers. One thing she always brings with her is, actually, a necklace that Simon gifted her years ago, of which the pendant is made of some feathers that Taka had lost; the small size and the ruined look, as much as she has always looked after them, marked the age of that object that Simon, for some years now, kept asking her to eliminate, embarrassed by his past gesture but also because he wanted to see a new one around her neck.

"You worked until now, would you be interested in a break? With me?" as soon as Simon tried to sit and finish reviewing some documents, she was already there, trying to stop him from exhausting himself like every other day "With some food? I've also bought a bottle of sake last ti-"

"You can't drink alcohol" he cut her off abruptly, looking towards where she was leaning against the door of his studio

"In fact, I bought it for you" she huffed, and looked at him back, starting a staring contest "Don't make me do it the hard way" she kept looking his eyes, completely entering the studio

"Hard way? You? And what would you do exactly?" he smirked and slowly lowered his head, looking back at his documents.

She waited some seconds before shaking her head and approach him "You wanted it" she pushed his chair away from the desk, moving him slowly because of her low strength compared to his weight; she tried to open his arms but he fought back, doing his best to keep them closed before giving up to please her, watching what she had in mind. She looked at him, searching for a comfortable position and how to achieve it, standing beside his legs before sitting on his lap; sitting in a really gentle way.

"Oh- Oh heck. You're not so light anymore you know" he caught his breath again before hugging her waist with both his arms, softly smiling at her and using her shoulder as a support for his chin

"E-EXCUSE YOU" she hit him in the hardest way she could on his arm "You're telling me I'm fat?! You-"

"Can I- Can I talk?!" he laughed, taking her hands in his to stop her hits "You're the same, it's this, thing, that gives you more weight" he pointed her belly

"Oh right, that thing that appears to be your daughter" she looked at her with an offended look, following his hand with the eyes as it moved

"Our, you're the one who's baking her" he slowly passed his hand on her abdomen, searching for some movement before being surprised by her laughs

"I'm baking her? I like it!" she gently hit his jaw with her shoulder "She's a little bread loaf" she poked Simon's hand that was on her stomach before trying to cover it with her own

"An unusually calm bread loaf" he laid his head on her chest, moving his hand in small moves to better feel the almost unnoticeable pushes the tiny being inside her was giving to the belly

"Yeah, she's pretty calm these days" a chuckle escaped her lips

"Certainly not like her mother" he dodged the hit she intended for his head, resting his back flat against his chair to create stillness before breaking it, taking her in his arms and going to the living room, placing her gently on the couch, not without her complaints "You wanted a break? I hope you're happy now" he took off his coat and jacket, checking the food for Taka and placing it near his branch to allow him to eat

"I'll be happy when you eat something, as if I don't know you enough to know that you don't even watch food since this morning" she slowly got up from the couch again, heading to the kitchen "So, my dear, we have: some cooked white rice, fruit, lots of fruit, there are also some leftovers of Athena's biscuits. What do you want?" she set the table with a bit of everything, taking also the sake she promised him

"You should also eat more and stop thinking only about me when you hav-"

"Oh myy, stop lecturing me" she cut him off, stopping in time his lecture at birth "I just try to compensate for your bad habits" she handed him some rice when he sat down, smiling at him to diffuse the tension between them

"... You should learn to take care of yourself first, before thinking about other people" he ate something to keep his calm before looking up again, slowly breathing and placing down his plate

"Listen, you have been insisting on this thing for days now; care to explain what do you want to say? It's bad that I care for your health knowing that it wasn't your priority for seven years?"

"It's also been four years now since I came back or am I wrong? This care of yours for others becomes bad when you prefer to ignore your health, hoping that somehow your body will heal by itself"

"What are y-"

"And don't start treating me like an idiot, I saw the medical reports you kept preciously hidden; hidden to whom you promised to say everything long ago, I don't know if you even remember" his look on her was reproachful but he didn't have the courage, the mental strength to inflict on her the frustration that had accumulated in him in those days, the fear, the pain, the sadness he refused to show "When were you going to tell me? A stone’s throw from the grave? When you’d collapse to death and I’d have to drag you to the hospital without having any idea what was going on with you?"

She fell into total silence, her eyes refused to look anywhere but the floor, her brain was processing everything that was going on and searched for words that weren't "Sorry" "Simon, please listen" she fell silent, expecting to be interrupted by Simon, but he remained silent, watching her and waiting for her to find the right words to express herself.

That. That look of horror in Simon's eyes was what punched her right in the chest, forcing her to rest her back against the chair for some seconds to feel something supporting her to not panic completely "I- I don't know why I didn't tell you, I didn't want to bother you to-" she fought to keep inside the sobs that cut her words. She got up, searching some water to regain her composure before her chest was pressed against Simon's, her arm held by the grip of one of his hand, took right before she could go and greet the floor

"Stay still, you're trembling" he kept her near his chest, feeling her breath heave more and more every second

"I was scared..."

Without looking at her, he gently pushed her until her back rested against the wall, his arm hugged her body, his hand kept her head against his chest, his face hidden in her hair.

She placed her hands on his chest, placing her ear where his heart was, finding comfort in his heartbeat "S-Simon, I'm sorry" she kept trembling, and slowly a pool of tears collected on his shirt

"Calm down, remain there, it's warm" he could feel it too, her tears warmed her face, his chest, her fingers, her hair, but inside they were both freezing, a deathly cold that easily annihilated each word they were trying to speak.

She searched protection in his neck, breathing his scent and trying to calm down, murmuring sorry after sorry, feeling the guilt hit her head.

From how hard he clenched his fists, his nails almost seemed to pierce the skin of his palm, his knuckles bone-white from how much he was keeping inside everything to be her rock and shelter in that crucial moment. He then slowly moved his hand, hiding more his face in her hair when again, his skin felt the warmth of her belly; she ended up crying even more, moving her hands on his back to have a better grip on him and not allowing him to disappear

"Simon.." she fearfully looked up at him, but his face was well hidden between her long locks of hair, as he permitted himself to shed one single tear

"I'm here, you're not alone in this" he talked just above her ear to make sure she was the only one hearing

The hold they had on each other recounted many stories, all the stories that in seven years they could not tell each other.

The thin then thick layer of sweat that covered both their bodies, their heavy breaths, the burning yet pleasant feeling on his back, the ache in her wrists that made her feel at home, protected, with him at her side.

"You're not going anywhere anymore, for a looong time" she slowed said, quietly chuckling and caressing Simon's nape with her fingers, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes, enjoying every single movement of Simon's hands on her body.

He hid his nose in the crook of her neck, bathing his senses in the perfume he missed so much but was too reluctant to admit, too caught up with that feeling -too nostalgic for him- of her fingers slowly untangling the knots in his hair, now much longer than she remembers it. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither will you" he surrounded her waist with his arm, improvising a probable wrestling move to reverse them and find himself on top of her, resting on her chest and playing with that old necklace she still wore

"You could've avoided that" she laughed with the little breath that Simon's graceful fall on her had left her, taking advantage of their new position to frame his face with her hands, slowly passing her thumbs on the dark signs under his eyes, smiling as his face relaxed under her touch.

He took her almost threat literally when not even two full years later, he gave Taka the tiny box containing the ring she still wore, the two of them framed in the pink of the cherry blossoms, his face full of uneasiness and pure panic, properly hidden under his poker face. His ways of doing so clumsy about anything involved exposing his feelings was one of the things that won her over in the first place that distant day when he asked her out for the first time; seeing them again that day was everything she could ask.

She continued to flip page after page, following sometimes the rhythm of the slow songs that the old stereo played, stopping sometimes to better look at those pictures that caught her eye, mostly the ones where there was a little Simon. She looked away for more than a second after at least half an hour when she felt her shirt being pulled from underneath, resting her gaze on that little head full of raven hair that emerged from the small shelter she had made with what was one of Simon's haori "Not hungry anymore?" she passed her finger on her round cheeks, taking her wail as an answer and moving her away from her chest. She made her daughter comfortable on her lap and brought back the photo album to her "You've become so much bigger, I don't know where to put you anymore" she chuckled touching the baby's nose as she tried to mutter "here", patting her mother's knees "Look, in this photo daddy was around your age, he was such a handsome boy was he?" she knew that her daughter was understanding, but just couldn't answer properly, so she just kept talking to her, telling her some stories that her aunt told her about her dad when he was little. At some point, her daughter stole the album from her hands to see the pictures in herself; she took the opportunity to rearrange her clothes, checking how the skin of her lower abdomen was doing, bad of course...

Her mind was brought back to reality when a tiny hand touched the scar on her stomach "Hm? What? You got out of there you know" she tickled that tiny hand with her fingers, sitting back next to her when she tried to run from the tease. She combed her hair with her hand, each time with more and more pressure until the little one fell again with her head on her lap "Today you were bad at mom's work, anything to say in your defense?" but all the baby could do was yawning and try to move her hand away from her head, something that made the older woman smile, leaving her daughter alone to let her rest.

The newfound peace was once again disturbed when a certain noisy hawk entered the door "I'm home" that serious voice preceded the sound of Simon's footsteps headed for the living room

"Yeah, could've guessed that" she laughed quietly, pulling her head back against the couch to look at him

"How are you feeling?" he reached down to kiss her forehead before giving attention to her lips too.

She captured his neck with her arms before he could walk away "Beside the constant stomach cramps and some dizziness, I'm healthy as a fish" she smiled, taking some of his hair in her hands and giving small kisses around his lips

"If you put on your IV once in a while, maybe you’d feel even better" he scolded her sighing, trying to detach her arms from around his neck

"If I have to stay with her, I prefer not to put it" she placed a hand on her daughter's head, keeping her eyes on his "And besides, it's cumbersome and useless at this point" she titled her head, looking away from him, feeling on her skin the cold and serious look he was giving her

"Don't even say it as a joke" he sighed, freeing himself from her arm before walking away.

She remained silent, looking at the cloudy sky of that evening for some seconds before slowly sliding away from under the sleeping form of her daughter "Not joking" she whispered to herself before reaching, staggering a little, her husband "Aura came to check on us this afternoon and brought me some albums with photos of when you two were younger" she smiled softly, helping him to take off his coat and jacket, placing them on the table chair. The only answer she received from him was his embarrassed face and his tries to hide it in all its redness "Don't worry, your daughter too agrees on the fact that you were handsome even when you were the one wearing the diaper" she placed her hands on his tie, bursting out laughing as their eyes met "Don't give me that look! You were such an handsome baby! Your eyes were as sharp as now and I love that" she kissed the tip of his nose as she removed his tie from his neck

"If those albums fall in my hands, they're gone. I'm telling you" he huffed, unbuttoning the first buttons of his shirt to let that feeling of warmth in his face dissipate

"Don't you dare! I want to do a whole family photo album, so I need those too" she hugged again his neck, hanging with a little extra weight when her legs suddenly gave up "So when she grows up, she'll have some physical memories too" she said, pointing to the sofa with her head

"These ideas only come to you" he held her on her feet, keeping her chest against his and resting his cheek on top of her head

"But you can't say they're bad" she giggled, slipping a hand into his shirt and unbuttoning another of its buttons

"You want to undress me?" he stared her hand, passing a pair of fingers on it.

She smiled foolishly, rubbing her face on his chest to hide the warmness that she felt before she, too, began to stare at her own hand "It wouldn't be a bad show" she tightened the grip that she had on his neck, making him lower again a little towards her

"You're acting like you've never seen me naked" he sighed, smiling softly to her dumbness before hitting her forehead with his fingers.

She looked at him badly, making an offended face before hiding in the folds of his shirts. She pushed his neck further towards her until he had to step forward to avoid falling, ending up dragging him to the center of the living room "Do you remember when we used to dance here? When you came back to work at a decent time?"

"When you dragged me against my will to try clumsy steps with background music you would say; I remember that"

"That's the same thing for my ears" she punched him and just stayed where she was, breathing slowly to calm the pain she was feeling in her stomach. She looked up again when she felt his arms tighten around her, intent on moving her slowly in a rocking movement

"Can you move or does it hurts too much?" he took the hand that was on his neck in his, keeping the other on her lower back.

She laughed quietly, squeezing his hand and standing well "First you say that you don't like dancing-"

"Let's do it while you can" he smiled and moved her, following the music that kept going from before

"Such a tsundere" she came even closer to him, keeping his hand tightly in hers.

"If I had known that having a typical Japanese wedding would have led to having to wear ten layers of kimono, I probably would have said no when you asked" she fixed her obi one more time, checking if her hair was in place

"But you indeed looked good all in white" he helped her tighten the obi, keeping staring at her "Even if you still have that old and overused thing that ruins your dr-"

"You on the other hand, haven't changed your pallette even today" she cut him nonchalantly and looked at him, fixing his haori, touching with her fingers the two tiny crests of his family embroidered on it

"That's a fundamental trait of my character" he took her by the arm and walked where the guests were

"Then the fact that you got your hair done today is totally out of your character" she played with the braid full of flowers that fell on his back, sticking to his arm "But it suits you a lot" she smiled satisfied when she saw red tips building in his cheeks

"Maybe, but all these flowers make it too fancy for my liking" he tried to sidetrack the conversation, looking away from hers so as not to let her enjoy his shyness.

She stopped insisting, keeping tight his hand in hers as they walked again where all the others were "Well, I must say that if I have to find one positive thing in all of this, seeing Aura in a kimono is probably the best thing I could ever ask in my life" she whispered to him when her eyes met the almost completely drunk figure of Aura dressed in a colorful kimono

"Yeah, sorry for that" Simon sighed and covered his eyes with his hand

"Come on! She's trying to avoid thinking that her beloved little brother is leaving her for another woman" she nudged him and looked at him with an annoying smirk

"Don't make it worse please" he walked with her out on the balcony, looking at the sky before whistling and pull out an arm, waiting for a pair of delicate claws to clasp his wrist "You're the only that understand me" he scratched Taka's neck, smiling softly when the smaller hand of his wife tried to pet him too "You're too short"

"No! You're the one who's too tall! And you might as well put your arm down you know!" she tried to pull it down, failing miserably

"Maybe it's finally time to change that thing around your neck" he noticed, pointing to the necklace that, even today, she kept wearing "Na-ah, I will only change it when it becomes dust on my hands" she used his moment of distraction to pat too Taka's soft feathers, watching again that simple-looking but full of meaning ring on her finger.

Still today, after nearly two full years, that ring continued to adorn her finger; she hid more and more in his shirt until she placed her ear precisely over his heart, listening carefully to each of its beats

"You okay?" he passed a hand on her face, bringing his face close to her to place a brief kiss on her head

"What was the name of the colored coat I wore for our wedding?" she tried to remember all the times Simon told her, but couldn't remember

"Uchikake" he said it slowly, so that she could understand it "Why you ask?"

"I was thinking that it was really beautiful. I should still have it somewhere in the closet" she closed her eyes, hoping that thinking about those memories, would send her back and live them again

"If you want, one day we could dress as we were that day, just to relive the emotion" he some of her hair locks, playing with them

"One day?" she slowly looked up at him, but it only quickened the climb of her tears to the eyes "You know, if I hadn’t tried to get closer to you after those seven years, when you got out of prison, we probably wouldn’t be here at this point; if I had been away I would have avoided that you suffered again" she squeezed his shirt in her hand, sighing loudly to mask the returning feeling of tears. Last year was the first and last time she cried for herself, knowing she had no right to be sad when she knew she was leaving Simon all alone, again.

"If you hadn’t come back, I would have come, I wouldn’t have left you so easily" he hit her head and placed his palm on her eyes, pushing her head downwards "If you hadn’t come back to catching me, yeah, we probably wouldn’t be here right now, but now there wouldn’t even be that evil thing" he took off his hand from her face to let her see where he was pointing

"Can you please stop calling her a thing?!" she took his hands off her, backing away and wiping the wetness around her eyes with her arm

"You're the only one who takes it so badly" he remained near her, seeing her legs more unstable than normal

"You know, for your information, your daughter is a person too" she gave him a killer look, ready to throw anything at him

"In my eyes, as of now, she's a round being who does nothing but eat, sleep and cry all day" he smiled at his own words as he strived to remain serious as he spoke "And other things that are not very nice anyway" he dodged the bottle she threw at him, trying to catch it before it fell; trying.

The sound of the plastic that crashed on the ground was followed shortly after by some incomprehensible complaints "It's your fault, just so you know" he stopped her and threw her like a sack on a chair before going towards the couch and search that little being that who could make such loud sounds "Are we done here?" he took her from the legs, tickling her to not let her cry too much

"Come here, hurry" she waited already with her arms wide open "Have you heard what this evil bichrome man said? Mh? What is daddy saying about you?" she took her in her arms and hid her in her neck cavity "Can you stop saying these things?" she pouted at him while calming the baby

"These are just pieces of evidence of my incapacity as a father" he sighed and looked back at her, keeping his impassive face

"Oh really? In my eyes these actions only show that you're good at this, you know how to joke with her" she gave him a proud smile to let him understand she was sincere

"And you see this as a posit-"

"Look! The more I look at her the more I realize that she might not have taken anything from my genes" she interrupted his words, standing up in front of him and showing the baby's face to him "Her eyes are exactly like yours; sharp, grey and absolutely beautiful; her hair is black, but she has some shades of Aura's purple in it and being pale is a family thing, I guess" she tilted her head to see Simon's face as she talked, smiling softly at him

"Maybe she’ll have something of yours growing, something about your personality or she'll change her features during growth" he poked the round cheeks he had in front of him

"I hope for you both no, you want another liar in your family?" she laughed confused, passing a hand on his shoulder.

He didn't answer but just sighed, taking her arm and moving onto the couch "You're not on your feet anymore, come and sit" he sat her comfortably on him and hugged her tightly, hiding his nose in her locks, now much shorter than last year but still welcoming.

She quietly beat her foot to the beat of the music, looking around the large hall full of people, looking for familiar faces

"Why you're here all alone? You could at least sit somewhere" the familiar raven-haired boy approached her with a simple glass of something in his hands

"I'm still new here, so I'd rather stay alone for now" she smiled turning towards the young prosecutor "What about you? You're not with your sister?" she looked around her to see that extravagant hairstyle that she always has

"She's talking to Cykes-dono, so I left them alone" he slowly sipped his drink "You want to take something to drink too?" he pointed with his glass towards the table full of every kind of drinks

"I'll pass, for now I would like to stay sober” she sharpened her ears to the music, finally hearing something danceable

“Instead, would you like to dance?” she came closer to him and grabbed his jacket

“No? I don’t know how to dance at all” he laughed uncomfortably, trying to stop her hand from dragging him

“Me neither, we just go there and have some fun” she poked him with her shoulder to convince him

“Pleeease” she took his glass from his hands and hid it behind her back

“Just this one” she didn’t even wait for his answer before dragging him towards the empty space in the middle of the hall, placing his glass on the first table in her way, letting some hair get in front of her face to hide her blush before turning to him again, smiling softly.

The face he held for all the time they danced brought a smile and a quiet giggle to the woman’s mouth

“What are you laughing about?” Simon, took her hair away from her face, looking down at her

“Nothing nothing, I was just rethinking of some memories, and I remembered the first time we danced together; do you remember?” she placed her head on his shoulder, trying to keep her look upwards

“That time when you nearly fell on your own feet to keep me dancing? Yeah, I remember” he laughed too to the memory, moving his hand under her chin to keep her face

“Remember me more, anything it comes to your mind”

“But you already know my whole life by heart, you were there for the most” her eyes closed for some seconds, letting her relax in his hold

“…Who’s gonna tell me, then?” his fingers closed more around her face, looking at every single of her features with the saddest eyes he ever had in his life

She forced her eyes to open again to look at him, hugging his wrist with her slim, white and freezing fingers, a touch that gave him all the comfort he needed

“Hurry up or the stars will fall without you” she huffed, trying not to raise her voice too much

“Sorry sorry” Simon huffed too, climbing the last steps of the staircase to the outdoor terrace

“The sky is pure black tonight” she was already looking through her telescope, searching for even one shooting star

“Nothing?” he stretched his body and rubbed his eyes, ready to fall asleep at any moment

“Not yet” she checked her clock, before quickly returning to look at the sky

“If my calculations are right, ten minutes maximum and the first ones should start to appear”

“Repeat again why these stars are so interesting?” he shook his head from exhaustion and leaned his back against the wall

“Because! Today they should be of many different colors instead of always white!” she hit him, falsely offended by his disinterest, pointing towards the sky once again out of nowhere.

Her memory listed all the constellations she could recognize from what little she saw

“See? You’re good at remembering all the laws, the details of a case, the lessons of Dr. Cykes, and I’m good at remembering the constellations” she laughed at herself before looking at him, catching right behind him a reddish shooting star

“THERE!” her voice came out before she could control the volume, covering her mouth with both hands right after that

“There’s another and another one there” Simon tried not to laugh at her unwanted scream and just looked at the stars that fell in front of his eyes

“What do people say about shooting stars?” his back pulled away from the wall and approached her, tilting his head

“It’s said that a wish you express under a shooting star comes true and other things that date back to the era of Christ and-“

His hand took hers, stopping her words while he still looked at the now colorful sky

“How likely is the wish to come true?”

“I-It’s just a stupid belief, don’t tell me you believe it please” she shook her head and looked too at the sky

“Let’s see right now if I’ll start to believe in it” he pulled her towards him from the hands, waiting for her to turn her head his way before approaching her lips with his, giving her some seconds to pull away but finalizing his intention when she did not move, savoring every little feeling the sensation of her soft lips on his gave him.

As soon as the connection broke, he turned his face sideways to hide the tremendous blush on all his face

“Maybe I could give the stars a try for my next trials”.

“Of all the things, that’s what you had to remember?” he giggled slowly, rubbing his blushed cheek against the crown of her head

“That was probably the cutest thing you ever did” she touched his uncovered cheek, warming her hand thanks to Simon’s warmth

“Most embarrassing, you meant” he cocked a smile when he felt her elbow hit, try to hit, his ribs

“You don’t even realize how romantic you can be” she raised her hand and showed him the silver around her ring finger

“I think you don’t remember well enough”

“Just some more steps, trust me and don’t open your eyes”

“Not that I have a choice by now” she kept her hand on Simon’s to better understand where he was leading her.

All she could feel was the damp grass under her feet, the sweet spring breeze against her ankles, uncovered by the thin fabric of her yukata.

She could hear the distant beating of Taka’s wings as he flew around them; if she tried to open her eyes, they were greeted by the black of Simon’s palms.

All she could do was following his footsteps behind her.

“Ok, when you want to, you can open your eyes” he slowly took his hands off her face in case she had already opened them.

She peeked from one eye to see where they were before looking better with both of her eyes.

In front of her was probably the tallest cherry tree she has ever seen, full of tiny, pink flowers both on the branches and between the thin blades of grass that took a more orange hue thanks to the light of the sunset; nestled between two external roots was a colorful cloth that prevented a basket from being in contact with the wet of the grass.

She turned towards him with a surprised smile, placing her hands against his arms to hold on to something as she came near his face with hers

“Thank you, this is sweet” she murmured against his cheek, sliding her hand all the way from his arm to his nape to hug him.

He hugged her back for a few seconds, before using his arms around her to pick her up and carry her where they were awaited; he knew perfectly that they weren’t going to move anywhere soon if he waited for her to move first.

He could feel her mouth against his skin, kissing it softly, curving in excited and grateful smiles, brushing against the skin under his ear.

He almost threw her to the ground when they arrived, quickly passing his hand wherever he could still feel her passage as if it annoyed him before sitting next to her, huffing.

“So? You have something important to tell me?” she pressed her arm against his, looking at his impassible face as he took something out of the basket, offering it to her

“I may have brought you here just to see the cherry blossoms” he shrugged her off his arm, looking at her to enjoy both her pout and the contrasting happy eyes as she ate what he gave her

“As if I don’t know you, Blackquill” she tried to mimic his face, failing in seriousness because of her full mouth

“Don’t, call me that” he hit her elbow to make her food fall, sighing quietly as she tried to pick it up.

They just remained there, enjoying their presence in that ordinary silence that spoke more of hundreds of words.

Simon was never good with socializing, vocalizing his emotions; the only time he considered himself good with words was when he’s working, in a courtroom or an interrogation room.

She had to get used to his being, trying to help him improve, but when his emotions were too strong, he just closes himself.

He closes all the doors to his heart locked, with chains and locks by any external intruder –an art he learned and mastered in not even seven years of his life- .

“Am I pregnant and I still don’t know about it?” she tilted his head, approaching her face to his with a confused look that covered her true one, worried, as she tried to throw down those doors even now.

He nearly choked on his food at her words, looking even more confused than her

“How do I know if you don’t even know first?”

“Then do you want to tell me what’s wrong? At least before the sun goes down?” she gently brushed her finger against his nose, smiling at him to try to make him laugh

“Nothing serious, really. I-I just need to understand how to phrase it” he took her wrist and slowly moved her hand from his face

“Sooo, it is serious if it’s giving you problems” she giggled as she took something else from the basket

“Do you think Taka will enjoy something too?” she stood up and walked into a much-opened space, looking at the sky to see where Taka was

“Wait-” he tried to stop her before she stood, still managing to make her turn by calling her

“What? I took a piece of meat without too much flavoring; he can eat this” she warned before he could start with his usual lecture

“No, that’s not it” he sat up straighter, placing his hand on his knee as if to get up.

In his mind hundreds and hundreds of thought ran back and forth, his brain was trying his best not to melt, until he fell back, letting her call Taka

“Be careful when he catches your arm” he rested his back against the tree, gripping tightly his sleeve to relieve tension, to prepare himself

“Don’t pierce my arm pleease” as soon as Taka rested on her arm, she patted his head before giving him the piece of meat she took earlier

“Hey prosecutor man, when were you going to show me this new bandana?” her fingers touched the soft material of it, passing one of them slowly into the space between the feathery neck and the fabric

“You’re even more handsome than before; this color suits you” she scratched his feathers, giggling softly as he brushed his face against her hand.

She already started to walk back towards Simon when she noticed something dangling from Taka’s bandana

“You also gave him a pendant? Can I see it?” she shifted her eyes from Simon to Taka as she asked one question, then the other, taking the little box-like pendant tied to Taka’s bandana between her fingers.

She focused to untie the knot that probably Simon did, then moving the hawk on her shoulder to better observe it

“Don’t worry, I’ll give it right back” she gently hit his beak with her nail to have his attention

“What is it, Simon? Can I open it?” she opened the second after she asked, not even waiting for an answer that probably would never have arrived.

It was simple, shiny like a freshly cleaned panel of glass. On the surface, a lot of details framed a tiny, clear gem placed in opposition to the engraving of Simon’s family crest that he always wore, one way or another.

She reluctantly lifted her eyes from the ring, scared that it would disappear in front of her, to look at Simon who was still sitting on the ground, but had looked up to offer her one of those barely hinted smiles that were full of all kinds of emotions, those unconstrained smiles that she loved so much seeing.

“So?” her voice cracked, slipping out of her control, having the need to understand what he meant with this gesture

“ “So?” What? As if I gift you these things daily” he used all his energy to hide how much he was enjoying her expressions

She threw herself on him, pressing on purpose her knee against his stomach

“Instead of killing me, can I speak?” he tried to laugh with the limited air that she left him

“Will you marry me? Will you tolerate me as long as your lungs take air?” he spoke against her hair, taking the box from her hand, gently spreading her fingers to take it

“I’ve been tolerating you for years now” she composed herself before looking up, smiling when she felt his hand take hers

“Yes- Yes, I’ll gladly do that” she tried not to cry openly as the metal slowly brushed against the skin of her ring finger

“I hope you realize the trouble you’re getting yourself into” he tapped his shoulder, gesturing Taka to climb it, to involve him

“You should have warned me a decade ago” she squinted and gripped Simon’s hand as strong as possible, letting the tears that were hidden in her eyes fall

“You have a point, but if I did I wouldn't have had any benefit out of it” he hugged her head with his chin, pushing it towards his chest.

His rough thumb slowly stroked her now decorated hand; she emitted heat from every pore, the adrenaline still ran in her body and that made her hand a bit sweaty, but warm to the right.

They were in the same positions now; his chin on her head, her hand wrapped in his fingers, Taka on the couch’s backrest.

The feelings were what changed; her hand, ice, her breath, slow and irregular, his cheek, cold from the now dried tears, both their hearts, heavy and facing everything but reality.

Only her lap remained warm, short raven hair spread all over it and tiny hands that tried to grab the two adults’ shirts to sit up.

“You two should go to sleep now, we can continue tomorrow, maybe before I go to work” he forced his lips to form a smile as he looked at her, noting her eyes full of exhaustion

“I could sleep for a while, yes” she got off him, clinging to his shoulders to make up for her lack of strength “And you could change your clothes, I feel uncomfortable just by looking at you” she looked at him, not even trying to hide her smile

“Easy to talk with Simon’s shirt on huh?” he took the hand-sized girl out of the two in his arms before forcing the oldest on his shoulder, bringing both of them to their bedroom

“It certainly is more comfortable than your work shirts” she tapped her hand against his back, trying to free herself, and she was indeed satisfied when he dropped her like a sack of potatoes on the mattress “Do you always treat corpses like this?” she rolled until her face smeared on Simon’s pillow

“Most of the time even worse than this” he used his daughter’s hand to hit her head, pushing it towards the pillow by making the little one lay on it

“Not breathing-“ she tried to grab her daughter to move her before freeing her face, making the baby laugh with her annoyed snort

“You’re just like your father,-”

“If you’re a corpse, you’re not supposed to breath” he looked at her out of the corner of his eye as he was already undressing

“Then just the time you change and I’m back to being one” her eyes locked with his and she smiled, looking down at her baby who imitated her position, now both looking at Simon

“See how beautiful your dad is?” she whispered so as not to be heard by Simon, tickling the baby’s neck to make her giggle

“I feel observed” he smiled to himself as he slowly chose what to wear

“Oh well sorry you very edgy, shy, handsome, young man” she kept staring at him some more before turning to give him some privacy.

She started tickling her daughter again, taking from her nightstand the stuffed hawk they kept there for when they made her sleep with them

“Is this better than the real one?” she poked her cheeks with the toy’s beak, smiling when her tiny hands hugged the soft replica

“The real one is there, looking rather offended in my opinion” Simon pointed the branch near the bed even if neither of the two were looking at him

“I would give him some attention if I were you”

“He’s just like you, too. I’m surrounded” she tried to imitate Simon’s whistle to call Taka to her, placing her hand on the headboard to indicate him where to lean

“When you’ll learn not to hit her, she can play with you too” she scratched his neck, passing her fingers between his feathers, then to the ones around her neck.

She searched for the hook of the necklace to take it off, combing the ruined feathers with her nails

“It is finally time to throw it away?” he joined her on the soft bed, brushing his nose against her nape before searching a point that made her shiver where to press his lips on

“Never, ever. When I can no longer express my opinion, you can do whatever you want with it” she shivered as she felt his lips against her skin, trying to get away from him

“What do you want me to do with it?” he continued to cover her skin with butterfly kisses, catching her thigh to not let her run away

“I would like to keep it, but it would be a waste; you could give it to her when she grows up or yes, you can throw it too” she put her fingers between his hair, messing it up as also her lower body shivered

“I’ll think about it” he touched the feathers too, noticing how they were ruined

“Can I at least change these? Taka is losing a lot of feathers recently”

“If they ruin badly, I shall allow it” she touched her nose and tried to turn to face him.

“Shouldn’t she sleep?” he picked their daughter in his arms before sitting up to give her space to get comfortable

“She slept before you came back, I don’t know if she will now” she yawned and found a comfortable place on Simon’s lap, resting her head on his shoulder

“But I probably will. Tomorrow a new engineer comes to help us with the next probe at the center” she forced her eyes to remain open, taking in the sight of Simon trying to make the little one sleep, slowly rocking her

“You should stay home. You’re getting worse and you should rest” he took her hair off her face with his free hand, getting the evidence he needed to confirm what he was saying: the eye bags under her eyes were darker every day more, her skin was almost as pale as his, her hairline was constantly covered with a thin layer of sweat and against his skin, hers was cold, dry, dead.

She looked and felt like she was already a corpse, a corpse he never had wanted to see.

“At this point is useless to rest, this last period is worth spending it doing something rather than staying at home, on the couch, filling myself with medicines” she tried her best to keep her head straight, fighting against pain, unusual sleepiness, physical fatigue.

“Would you- please, stay awake as long as you can” he put his hand under her chin to lift her face towards his, kissing her forehead.

This sweet gesture made her smile again, hugging his cheek with her palm softly

“I’ll try” she moved his bangs from his eyes “Pardon me” she took his ponytail, searching his hair tie and freeing his hair from it

“What are you doing” he sighed, suffering what she was doing anyway as their daughter slowly fell asleep

“Fixing your bangs. You should cut them, your eyes are covered and it is really a crime” she collected the hair on his forehead, tieing it in a really small ponytail, holding back her laughter at the result

“I don’t even want to see myself” he sighed harder, focusing only on loaf in his arms

“Why! Your eyes are visible like this!”

“If you care so much you can cut it for me, I don’t know how to do it” he took her face and pushed her off him, again on the mattress “In law classes, they don’t teach you how to be a hairstyler, too” he untangled some knots from his now-free hair, taking off the tie from his bangs, styling it so that it did not cover his eyes

“Neither in space engineering” she hugged her pillow and closed her eyes, feeling them as dry as a desert

“Hey,” he lowered once again near her, carefully laying the fully asleep baby between them

“Do you want to sleep?” he passed a hand on her hair, taking away the locks that kept falling from her head

“That wouldn’t hurt you know” she looked at him, keeping her eyes closed for more seconds when she blinked

“If I fall asleep, please, don’t wake me up, we’ll see tomorrow, ok?” she smiled once again, extending a hand towards his face and placing it on his cheek

“Remember me to bring back to Aura the albums she brought me today” she nodded as if she was listening to herself, but slowly her brain started to turn off

“Yes, after work I’ll come to pick you up and we can go together” he was convinced in what he was saying, but something gripped tightly his chest

“I’ll wait for you then” whatever she was saying now, was nearly an incomprehensible murmur, her eyes were closed and her hand fell on their daughter’s head.

He remained there, all he could do was staring at her, her chest that slowly rose and fell, her face that showed peace, but under it lied everything she truly felt: anger, sadness, guilt and fear.

She was tired of those feelings, all that she wanted was to enjoy the little time she knew she had left with her family.

Even if she didn’t saw him at the moment, she could imagine Simon’s face, what he was feeling, too.

She didn’t want to ruin his life like this.

He already suffered in his life and this, leaving him alone out of nowhere with a child to raise all by himself when he was the one against the idea of children. What convinced him to even try in the first place was the assurance that he wouldn’t be alone in properly raising a child, she promised it to him. But now?

“Simon” she shook his arm to be sure he was listening to her, not sure of how her voice sounded

“I’m here” he took her hand to let her know he was listening, moving closer to her

“.I’..m sorry” she tried to re-open her eyes again to sound more sincere in her apology “You know that… I love you” she forced herself to sound as clear as she could, squinting and trying to open her eyes

“Don’t force yourself by saying stupid things. You have nothing to be sorry about and-“

“Saying that I love you is a stupid thing?” she looked at him confused and with tears all over her eye

He passed his thumbs on her cheeks to wipe those tears, stopping for a second to look her in the eyes

“Of course not. You did everything for me and I still don’t know how to thank you properly. You helped me when I came back, you tolerated me all these years and also officially linked yourself to the mess that I am and- and you gifted me this, you gave me a reason to keep moving forward” he passed his thumb on her rings before resting both their hands, still connected, on their daughter’s belly.

Her eyes closed again but she was listening to every single word, every single crack or tremor of his voice, the sound of his breath becoming irregular. The words she wanted to speak died in her throat and all she managed to do successfully was smiling, offering him a smile that could maybe comfort him, that could give voice to the apologies she wanted to scream, to the regret and sadness that were eating her from the inside.

“Now sleep, you deserve some rest. You’re strong, don’t forget it” he covered her eyes with his palm and gently pressed his lips against hers, smiling softly when he felt her attempt to answer to his kiss, pushing her lower face against his “And I love you too, you can’t even imagine how much. I’ll never stop doing it, remember it.” He reluctantly took his hand off her face, noticing even more tears on it, trying to wipe them again with his trembling fingers.

He knew what was happening, but at the same time, he didn’t know, didn’t want to know.

His eyes searched comfort looking up, where Taka still was on the headboard; him too, was asleep. Loneliness, this feeling Simon knows too well and that he knows it will come to visit him more often from now on. His eyes closed and before he knew it, he fell asleep too; both his hands were against a cold feeling that, as he lost more and more consciousness, started to feel warm again.

- Same time, same sound every single morning. He could already hear giggles and fire sounds from the kitchen, so he just sat to slam his palm against the alarm to shut it off.

It didn’t.

Even if his palm was still on it, the alarm continued to ring. He had to shook his head to be back, the newfound feeling of warmth in his chest kicked away by the sudden cold. He stood and walked to the door, opening it and seeing only the first lights of the morning light up the way to the kitchen, hearing anything but silence. He looked back confused and that’s when he remembered; he remembered that his wife was dying, but just now realized that what yesterday was future, now is present.

She laid there, in her side of the bed; her whole body but the face covered with simple blankets, her facial features molded with peace, calm, relief. Everything was framed by her hair and covered with the reddish lights of the sunrise that highlighted details that only confirmed her departed state: her lips were now tinted with a slight violet, her eyes were slightly opened and the little that was visible was completely dull, not a single muscle was tense and her skin took a greenish tone.

He forced himself to confirm what he was seeing, gently caressing her cheeks, jawline and lastly her neck, searching for anything else than a block of pure ice.

Useless.

The sun outside seemed to know what was happening: the sun, now full of light and free of any cover slowly continued to rise, probably not noticing the expanse of clouds that awaited him to hide him, keep him away from the world.

Before she could wake up, he brought the unaware raven head away from there; even if she probably couldn’t understand, she didn’t deserve to even look at her mother’s dead body. He was still trying to understand, to process everything, but his brain did all it could to reject everything that was happening, to deny it; that’s probably why, when he returned to their shared room, he felt a punch right in the gut seeing Taka that tried to wake her up, beating his head against hers.

She didn’t move a single inch when he was out and Taka’s usual tease to wake her up wasn’t working.

“Taka” a concise movement of his chin made the hawk understand to leave her alone, taking his place beside her, fearful of touching her again and perceive again the feeling of touching a grave, touching death. “We need to give the albums back to Aura and- today the engineer at the center” he tried to catch her attention, shaking her face with a little too much vigor, but nothing seemed to move her “Or, you still have to remind me of our first date, of when our daughter was-“ the end of the phrase died as his fist instinctively met the wall nearby, as one single tear accidentally fell from his eye.

His feet moved on their own and made him walk out of there, out of where he was already promising himself to remain. He rested his back against the wall, slamming his head against it too to stop any strong emotion to take control of his body.

His fingers moved his bangs from his eyes to fully understands if he was still sleeping; unluckily not.

His thighs rested flat against the floor, his back slowly sliding down to accompany them and before he could punch the wall down, he focused on the heavy pocket of his pants, pulling out of it the necklace she entrusted to him. Looking at it now, it looked newer than it actually was; yesterday the feathers looked old and ruined, but now he saw them as fresh and immaculate.

He laughed to himself and brought the cheap pendant to his lips, finally understanding what she saw in something he made only for her, brushing once again the feathers of it.

---

A short message for you all ;v;

#ace attorney #simon blackquill #simon blackquill x reader #angst #aura blackquill #x reader but not even that much

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oppabimbab · 4 years ago

Text

if second chance exists | jeon jungkook

genre : heavy angst, fluff, break up, heart break, smut

starring : jungkook x reader

synopsis : you met him again after 365 days of being apart. nothing has changed except the fact that you and him are no longer together. the same wound, it is ripped open again when you realised you’re still deep in love with that man.

words count : 11k words

side note: this is another remake fics from original jinyoung’s fics. some people said they’ve got a good cry from this one so i changed the characters to fit the bts’s version. also, sorry for any errors and grammar mistakes.

You look at the huge building right in front of your eyes. That is a hella huge one and you’re not sure why you are here.

“Seulgi, I don’t think this is right,” you speak to her as she is adjusting her short dress along with her wavy hair. She looks way hotter than you’d expected but that’s not what matters now because you don’t feel like coming in.

Well, you don’t remember how did you agreed to your best friend to go to this party? Maybe when you were drunk? You’re not really sure.

But, now you’re here with a small nude dress wrapping around your curvy figure. Soft yet bold make up plasters all over your beautiful face. That shoulder-length hair compliments your face even more with its messy curl. That was all Seulgi’s touch—Well, she is a stylist.

Seulgi raises an eyebrow and looks you from head to toe.

“Babe, you look good and eatable. You need to show this to them. It’s a masterpiece,” she touches your hair a little, to make you look hotter than ever. You scoff at her remarks.

“Yeah sure. It’s Miss Seulgi’s masterpiece, everyone,” you mock her and she chuckles.

It’s Nayeon’s bachelor party. It’s been years since you left college which means you pretty much have lost the contacts with most of your ex group mates, classmates or whatever it is. But, Nayeon is one of those people who surprisingly still keeps in contact with you. You aren’t that close with her but Seulgi is. She happens to get married by this week and since she is pretty close to Seulgi, she took the chance to send the invitation to her and you. You definitely know Nayeon. Not that familiar but you know who she is and she knows who you are. That’s enough.

“Come on. Tonight will be fun, I promise you. She only invites fun people and we are that fun people. Besides, you need to get a life. Find a dick,” she winks, swiping her red lipstick across her thin lips before smacking it. You look at her, pretty grossed.

“No dick. I come here for beer and good food,” you shake your head and without any notice, you walk to the entrance, leaving Seulgi behind. She yells in protest.

***

When both of you come inside, you’re overwhelmed by how good the decorations are. It’s far from what you’d expected. Well, you’d imagined a very wild party since it’s called young-hot-bachelor party like everyone claims but every parts of the decorations scream softness. It looks like a tea party you would go with your close neighbour.

Which is a good thing.

“Hey, do you think we are in the right place?” Seulgi whispers at you and you immediately get what she means.

Your dress—short dress. It doesn’t look appropriate considered how this hall is decorated with. You hide a smile.

Before you could say anything, you see someone from afar. He looks familiar. As hell. It takes you fpr few seconds to process before you get the real image.

Namjoon. Kim Fucking Namjoon. What is he doing here? You immediately tilt your body to Seulgi, causing her to be confused at your sudden gesture. She looks around and you heard her small gasps.

“Gosh, It’s Namjoon,” she says, sounds half excited and half panic. Not sure which one is more dominant but you don’t care. You don’t want to meet him. Fuck.

Few seconds later, Seulgi sounds panic.

“Hey, He is coming to us,” Seulgi whispers, tapping your arms softly but you remain freeze. Damn it. Of course, that guy would see them. Seulgi just can’t shut up and look away. Now, you have no choice but to meet him again after God-knows-how long has it been.

You clear your throat and look back at his direction. Yes, he is coming. You fake a surprise on your face. This is not a good idea. Seulgi immediately excuses herself.

“Hey, is that you? Is that really you?” he immediately speaks up to you the moment he stands right front your eyes. He looks handsome as he was before. Tall, bulk, smelled like fresh cologne and sweet smile. Perfect words to describe him. You smile at him.

“Namjoon? It’s really you,” you’re not really sure what scares you the most but the sight of him or the other boys make you feel like running away. Not really but some kind of.

Namjoon is your ex-boyfriend’s friend— Of course, looking at him reminds you so much about your ex.

Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.

Namjoon flashes his charming smile.

“I don’t know you would be here. I mean, it’s been a long time since I saw you,” he utters. You nod. Indeed. It’s been a long time. Perhaps, a year? You crack a soft smile before you could hear another familiar thing.

Seokjin’s and Jimin’s laughter. You bring your eyes to the side, not too far from you and Namjoon.

5 of the boys are there. You gape at the view. Namjoon would be here, it didn’t surprised you but all of the boys? You start to feel panic. What if...What if he is coming too?

But, for some reason, the sight of them boys remind you of old day. Good old days.

You were waiting outside the studio while looking at the night sky. It looked oddly brighter than previous days but you weren’t complaining. You liked night sky. Jungkook liked night sky too.

Before you could do anything, you heard footsteps coming from the studio and the sound of door clicking. You tilted your head and looked at the direction.

It was Jungkook. When he had his eyes on you, he couldn’t help but smiled a little. Or more.

“Hi, sorry to make you wait,” he spoke with a boyish look all over his face before shutting the door closed.

“No, it’s fine. I came here just to see you for a while,” you said, not breaking your eyes off him as he walked closer to you. It was crazy because the butterflies in your stomach felt like they were growing each time the distance between you and him disappeared.

Jungkook is a composer. A rookie one. He has been wanting to be a music person whether it’s a composer, lyricist or an idol. He really wanted to be one of them but Jungkook knew he was too old to be an idol now.

Everything was still new. A fresh new.

Sometimes, you would find yourself coming to the studio just to see him and his work even it got little awkward when the studio was filled with boys— the 6 chaotic boys. At times, the studio is part of you even you have nothing to do with it.

You were a graphic designer. Also, a rookie one. You loved doing graphic things, you loved creating something pretty according to your imagination. You loved everything about your dream and it finally came true.

And the best part, you didn’t know you would share it with him. Your boyfriend for 2 years.

“The boys wanted you to stay for a while. We are having small party for Taehyung,” Jungkook casually wrapped his warm big hand around yours. It’s getting colder these days.

You raised an eyebrow at his reNamjoons.

“Oh, is it his birthday? I’m sorry I stole you from them,” you said and he grinned widely. He knew you were joking.

“You know it’s not. I don’t know, they just wanted to throw a party. I’ve told them I’m staying with you tonight,”

You nodded with a small smile. You could feel his gaze on you despite the dim light didn’t do any justice to the sight. You looked up to find his eyes before scooted closer to him as you guys walked through the quiet neighbourhood.

Hand in hand.

It was 10 pm but the neighbourhood seemed quieter and colder than anything.

“Jungkook,” you called him and he replied with a hum.

“Remember when you asked me about my favourite thing about you?”

He glanced at you with a raised brow.

“I like your smell,” you added before bringing yourself to him and smelled his scent that you loved the most. You weren’t very sure how he smelt like. It was nothing like strong perfume or deodorant, definitely not that. He smelled like it’s him.

Jungkook laughed out loud, a hearty one. His laughter filled the entire of small space around them. One thing about him— he always covered his mouth when he laughed while he has the best teeth and smile you ever seen. His laugh sounds genuine and full, like he meant it. For real, you loved it when he laughed.

“What? My smell? What does that supposed to mean?” he said between laugh before shaking his head, refraining himself from laughing too much in this quiet alley. You pouted and slapped his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious. I love that part of you. You smell like...” you stopped to find the right words to describe how he smelled like. Honestly, you didn’t know. It’s not a perfume, deodorant or anything else. Jungkook hid his smile while staring at your confused face. Patiently waiting for you to say how it smelled like because he was curious too.

“Home,” you spoke and it received another hearty laughter from him. His chest is pounding as his whole body vibrating, amused at your answer. You find it annoying but then you find yourself laughing along with him.

“I love it how you learnt so much from my flirty ass. You’re so good at this now,” he pulled you closer and took your hand inside his thick hoodie’s pocket. You can feel his thumb rubbed your knuckle in that small pocket that surprisingly could fit both of your and his hands.

You stole a glance at him and you met his eyes. No words can describe how much love you had for this man. It has been 2 years of dating but how the hell you still feel the same butterflies like it was your first date? Saying how he was perfect was an understatement because he is more than that. You sent him your signature smile that he once told it was his weakness.

He frowned.

“No, no. Don’t give me that look. I know what you’re trying to do,” he moved his finger, stopping you from smiling that way but you didn’t care. You know he loved it anyway. Jungkook quickly covered his eyes with his other hand while shaking his head. You giggled at his gesture before taking his hand off his eyes.

“Babe, carry me on your back,” you whined before pulling your hand from his pocket and stand behind him. Jungkook chuckled at your sudden hyper mood tonight.

“What are you? 2 years old?”

You grinned and hopped on his back before wrapping your legs around his waist and resting your chin on his shoulder. Nothing feels safer than his embrace.

“Come on! You love me!” you screamed like a little kid before both of you were bursted into laughter. A happy one.

“Hey? Are you okay?” Namjoon snaps.

You immediately get your sense back the moment you heard his voice in your mind. What was that? Memories from a year ago?

“Ah yes. Sorry, I was spacing out. What did you say?” you nod and chuckle nervously even you know there is an awkwardness plasters all over your face. Namjoon looks at you, worried.

“Uhm, if you don’t mind, you can join us. You know, even we don’t talk as much as before but we always welcome you. The boys sure love to see you again,” he utters and for some reason, those simple words really do something to your heart. It’s somehow lovely yet aching to the point you don’t know how to actually react to it.

The boys know what happened to you and Jungkook. When your relationship ended, you find yourself getting distant from the boys. Well, there is a logic in it. You have lost Jungkook, of course you’re going to lose everything around him. Including yourself.

You rub your arm softly and nod.

“Sure. I’ll see you guys later. I need something to do,” you say and Namjoon’s face lights up as you agreed. Namjoon has been always be that person whom you refer to the most during that old days. He is a quiet and responsible person despite surrounded by those dorky and goofy bunch of boys.

You excuse yourself to go anywhere but stop when he calls your name again.

“You look great. Like you always do,” he says with a sincere smile. Your heart lifts at his words.

“You too, Namjoon,” you reply.

The next second, you find yourself in a toilet while staring at your face. After 365 days or more, you’re now in the same place with those familiar faces.

How odd it is? You don’t know why you would feel this anxious but seeing them is like seeing him. You remember watching him play and grow with those guys who used to witness your relationship with him.

Now, his image comes into your mind and you can’t erase it. Or to be exact, he never left yours.

You lean against the wall when a sudden sadness comes and fills your entire body. It’s sure the worst thing at this moment when you should enjoy yourself. At least. Of course, you wouldn’t want to look awkward and dull in front of Nayeon, the soon-to-be bride. No fucking way.

You take out the wedding invitation from the small purse you have been carrying. The small card with few fonts on it reminds you of something. Something painfully sweet.

It was 6pm. The sky looked like the mixture of deep orange and dark purple which gave you an excitement at the sight. Just like how you usually did, you took out the device from the pocket and snapped a few pictures of the sky. When they turned out to be just like you wanted, you smiled happily.

Sky at the beach looked majestic, didn’t they?

Without actually noticed, Jungkook has been staring at you.

“Babe, there are thousands picture of skies in your phone,” he said, almost judging you.

It was just another day where you would attend one of his close friend’s wedding which was something very common for you to do. Jungkook loved bringing you to any event or gathering every time he had the chance to do so. You weren’t complaining at all. You liked it when that proud grin plastered all over his face when he introduced you as his girl. You loved it when he would casually pulled you closer to his side, just to make sure you were there—with him.

That kind of security you couldn’t find on anyone else but him.

“What do you mean? The skies are different each days,” you protested with frown as you scrolled down the pictures you have taken. You know Jungkook was staring at you but you ignored it anyway.

“They looked the same,” he shrugged. The steady wave made the cold water splashed on your feet as both of you guys walking along the beach. The beach was oddly quiet and empty, probably because it was almost night.

“Alright, sir,” you keep the phone in your pocket and nodded, teasing him before you walked freely, leaving him few steps behind. You looked at the sea and inhaled the smell--your favourite scent after Jungkook’s.

“This is so good. Life is good,” you said as your eyes strike to the sun that was setting, leaving the place almost got dark. The beautiful orange with a hint of black looked like it was straight from movie.

It was weird. Every time you came here, it made you feel like everything is good. Yeah good. The serenity.

As the water splashed, Jungkook came to your side.

“Full of positivity. I love it,” he said and you looked up to him and see that smile you have been loving since day 1. His skin was glowing. His eyes were sparkling.

“Ocean makes you become positive. I don’t know why,” you spoke and he giggled while nodding. Probably agreed to what you said.

“Now I know why some people held wedding here. It’s just gorgeous,” his honeyed voice echoed.

“I want ours to be held here. Or anywhere as long as there is a beach,” he added and for some reason, you saw that coming. Your boyfriend has been vocal when it comes to wedding or simply said—marriage. You weren’t sure when did it start but he always talked about getting married, having so many kids you don’t know how are you going to carry it with that petite figure of yours.

You find it was interesting and amusing when he didn’t hesitant to talk about these topics when most of men around you were very skeptical.

You looked up at him and giggled.

“I don’t want it,”

A frown appeared on his forehead. Not confused but amused when he didn’t get the expected answer from you.

“Why? Beach is your best friend,” he said with a straight face. His plump lips looked more significant when he pouted. Let alone those doe eyes, they made you became a jelly in just a blink of eyes.

“I don’t want my dress to get wet. you’re unstoppable you know? Remember when you pulled me into the water the last time we went to the beach when I freakin just got my hair done?” you glared at him, shaking your head at the memory. Jungkook was a sweetheart but he immediately became a devil when it comes to teasing you.

He raised his eyebrow while looking at you, quite impressed at how your mind could bring that memory from few months ago.

“It wasn’t my fault. You looked intimidating that day. Plus, you buried me in the sand with those crappy crabs remember? We both are an evil, it’s a win win situation,” a small chuckle left his mouth as he softly digging the sand with his toe. It definitely brought back the memories from 4 months ago.

“But, you did it first!” you whined like a baby girl. Jungkook can be really annoying sometimes. He looked soft and gentle but sometimes, an evil. He grinned at your frowned face and pouty lips, making you sent another glare to him.

He bent down.

“Did what?” he asked.

“You’re so annoying, you know that?” you scoffed at his mischievous side and that made him grin got wider, plastered all over his handsome face. You wondered, what exactly in his mind?

Eyes rolled as you took a step to continue walk along the shore before you felt a sudden cold on your back. You gaped before turning back. To be exact, to Jungkook. Just like you imagined, he wore that innocent smile.

“Like this?”

“Babe! What did you do? Stop!!” you almost screamed while shuddering at the cold water on your back. Jungkook did the same thing. He knew you would scream like an annoying little girl. He knew how you hated cold water but he did it anyway.

He chuckled before scooping the sea water with his hands and sprinkled it to you. Another whine came out from your mouth.

“Come here!! You’re a freaking dead!!” you screamed while doing the same thing like he did before he ran away from you. You giggled and screamed, speeding to catch him with your hands. He was definitely a dead meat.

His sweet raspy laughter and your chaotic scream filled the entire beach. It was lovely.

You smile at the thought. It’s crazy how some scent, certain gesture could remind you of something that happened like years ago. Your eyes are locked on the wedding invitation and slowly, the smile fades from your lips, leaving you lost and devastated.

The 970 days you have spent with him weren’t short and weren’t that long either. You didn’t know time had passed that quickly, faster than you ever imagined. The relationship was beautiful—It’s hard to describe but it was indeed beautiful and amazing. He gave you something more than you ever expected—security. As you grew with him, he made you realised that love wasn’t enough. The security he gave you was something that built you. The trust and honesty he had showed to you were something that lifted you to become a person you’re now.

It’s funny to even think about it. When you were scattered into pieces; when you bawled your eyes every night, asking God to heal this wound in your heart. You were lost to the deepest bottom that you couldn’t even find yourself back. You knew you wouldn’t be found anymore because you had given everything but all they do was crushing you into million pieces.

All you wanted was to be loved.

And Jungkook found you. He looked into your eyes and knew you were lost. You were in pain. He brought you back to find yourself. You weren’t sure when did it started but eventually, you knew you were slowly giving that piece of your heart that was left, to him.

And he took it. Jungkook loved you. The way his skin touched yours, the way his eyes find yours, the way his lips collide against yours. You knew they were real. That was love. The love you both shared were beautiful. But, where is it now? Your chest is aching at the thoughts. It’s not here anymore.

You bring your gaze to the card.

His name could be here, on the invitation along with yours.

How lovely does it sound like?

A soft sigh leaves your mouth. You slowly put the card back into your purse before taking a deep breath and shaking your head to erase the thoughts. You’re not very keen to let these feelings to take over you. You’ve been spending months over this thing and sure today isn’t that day you would let yourself to do that. You need to forget it—even for a while.

Minutes passed and when you look at your phone, your eyes are widen. 10 missed call from Seulgi. You look at the watch around your wrist and you know why. You bet, Seulgi is mad.

You tighten the grip around the purse before leaving the toilet. You walk calmly to the hall and a sudden panic starts to get all over your system. Just like you imagined, it’s filled with so many guests you barely knew. You cursed at yourself since you’re an introvert so being this lost in this crowd sure isn’t a good thing. You stand at the side and try to look for Seulgi or maybe Nayeon before the purse you’re carrying is vibrating. You immediately pick up the phone call from Seulgi.

“Over here!” she shouts over the phone, causing you to put the phone away from your ear. For few seconds, you found Seulgi, waving to your direction while sitting in a table with Nayeon and few other people. You can’t see them clearly since your eyesight have worsen each day. You saw Seulgi, that’s pretty enough. You nod before slowly making your way to her in such a crowded place. Each steps you take towards her, the heavier your chest becomes. Something is not right and you’re not happy with it.

Few steps are taken and you’re here at the table. The timing isn’t good because when all of the gaze pointed on you, you found a very familiar one. That familiar gaze that you have lost. Your system has lost its track the moment you laid your eyes on him.

Jungkook is there.

Time seems like it’s freezing around you. You can’t feel your feet, not even your skin, the moment you saw that pair of eyes—that beautiful eyes. Your chest is trembling, not sure whether it’s a fear or love. Not sure. Is it a pain or comfort? Only God knows.

“Hey, where have you been?” Nayeon speaks after a short silence happened between them as you arrived. You flinch at her voice, as you look at every of them. The 6 boys, Seulgi, Nayeon, Sana and Jungkook. Her voice seems fading from your sense when Jungkook looks at you. His deep gaze strikes into you.

This is torturing.

“Uhm, I was in toilet. Yeah, I was in toilet,” you almost stutter when the words seem like it’s not coming from your throat. You smile at her before Seulgi pulls a chair for you to sit. You immediately take a seat beside her, across Jungkook. Nayeon grins and nods. The atmosphere feels odd and unfamiliar. You look at Seulgi and she sends you the “I know what you’re thinking” look with her eyes. There is no way she didn’t know or simply put, there is no way the boys didn’t know what’s in your mind right now.

“Well, since all of us have talked about our lives, it’s your turn now,” Nayeon pulls her chair to give a better view to you. You look at her and realise that all of them eyes are looking at you, waiting for your response. The earlier vision of Jungkook still makes you unfazed so you barely know how to actually react to it. Nayeon raise an eyebrow at you.

“What do I want to talk about?” you laugh nervously, tucking the hair strand behind your ear while adjusting the position on the chair. You can’t bring yourself to look at Jungkook who is sitting across you. You’re not sure if he is looking at you too but deep inside, this is killing you.

“What are you doing now? I heard you’re a designer,” Jimin breaks the silence as he immediately asks you about ‘how’s life going’ typical question. You look at Seulgi and she grins. You nod calmly.

“Yes but not really a designer. It has been only 6 months so I won’t call myself a designer yet,” you speak, trying so bad not to stutter or you will look stupid in front of them. You can feel your fingers are trembling as fuck so you hide it on your thigh.

They all look impressed.

“Come on, don’t be humble. You’re good at designing. Did you remember the logo you made for us back then?” Yoongi adds and all of the boys start to squeak as they remembered that ugly logo you made when you hang out with them. You slap Yoongi’s shoulder and they laugh.

“Don’t be hypocrite, Yoongi. That one looked like an ugly sock,” you chuckle as the memories come back to you. You were younger and unexperienced. They laugh at your remarks.

“Thanks god you finally realise. It’s tiring to pretend all these years,” Seokjin, the sassiest bitch speaks while flipping his coma hair. You send him a death glare while pouting like baby. Seokjin has been that clown who always teased you for nothing and you would fight with him. In another words, he is your partner in crime. You didn’t know you’ve missed it so much.

“Come on, it can’t be that ugly. Let me see,” Nayeon chuckles at the sudden chaos as she taps Hoseok’s shoulder. He nods before taking out his phone and starts browsing the gallery. You almost squeak.

“Yah, Hoseok. I’ll kill you if you do that,” you burst and immediately cover your mouth as you realised your usual self is coming out. It receives a squeal from the boys.

“Ayeee~ you had never changed. Bold and fierce, right Jungkook?” Taehyung, who is sitting beside Jungkook, suddenly nudging him on his arm. The pout and grin disappear on your face right after you realise what Taehyung did. The atmosphere changed in a blink of eyes as nobody says anything. Of course, all of them know what happened to you and him.

Sana slaps Taehyung’s shoulder softly before frowning at her boyfriend. He looks flustered. He probably realised that things have changed now. You and him are no longer together anymore. You suck on your lower lip, looking at anywhere but him.

“So, who wants to see the logo? The ugly sock like she said,” Namjoon breaks the silence as he claps, trying to get everyone’s attention and it receives a squeal and woo-ing from the boys. At the moment, you can feel your tighten chest has loosen up from the tension. That was close incident, you see Sana’s scolding Taehyung for it. You heave a sigh, this is really hard. Slowly, you get up.

“I’ll go get a drink. Anyone wants some?” you force a smile at them but receive no response before Seulgi raises her hand.

“Me, please,” she grins, sending the message through her eyes. You smile at her. She knows what you’re doing and she immediately tries to send you away to calm down. She knows how this indirect

tension between you and Jungkook being in the same table is torturing you. She knows you’re trembling under the table. She knows exactly how you feel and she wants you to take some fresh air. Seulgi is indeed a saviour.

You nod and excuse yourself, not looking back at the table, not their reactions.

It’s just few steps away before a woman comes to the table and it’s not anywhere but beside Jungkook.

“Sorry for the wait. I’ve got a phone call to make,” she speaks with a bright smile all over her flushed face. She looks like she was running a marathon when she seems catching a breath. You freeze on your feet and bring you gaze on her.

She is beautiful. Very beautiful. You can’t deny. Slender body, shiny black hair, flawless skin, almond-like eyes. Charming smile. What else?

“Ah, are you Jungkook’s friend? He talked about you earlier, have a seat,” Nayeon stands and bows at her before offering her to sit. She bows back politely. That sweet smile never leaves her face and it gets wider when she looks at Jungkook. That smile—that looks familiar. Suddenly, your chest thumps very hard, adrenaline starts to take over your body when you see Jungkook slowly brings her closer to him, making the gap between them disappear.

“Hi, I’m Rose. Jungkook’s girlfriend,” she introduces herself, taking the beautiful smile along with her words. A soft smile appears on his lips, a rare sight even from the first time you’ve seen him today. It’s rare.

You look at them and you definitely know—there is love. That smile, they’re wearing, a smile when you’re in love.

When your sense comes back, your heart aches. A lot.

Every minute are the biggest torture you’ve ever been in your life. How did things turn out to be like this? All you wanted is to have some fun here but God sure wouldn’t let you do that. Your mind left you immediately when you’ve realised he is here.

But, not alone— he comes with his girlfriend.

How awful does it sound like? To be in the same place with your ex, who has gotten happier more than you do?

You swallow the tiny bit of the croissants while scratching the steak on the plate with the fork. You’re not sure if the food tastes bad or you have lost your taste bud because every piece of them, taste bitter and awful in your throat.

The moment when you finally acknowledge where Rose stands in his life, you bring yourself to somewhere far from the table. None of these feel right to you and you don’t want to believe it either. It feels unreal and confusing. The more you have tried to process, the more you’re failing to find any words.

But, for sure, you definitely know one thing to describe this.

Heart ache.

You lean against the wall in the quiet alley, trying to process this new information. Chest thumps like it’s going to explode. Skin tickles like the electricity is running down your spine. Heart. It beats along with the pain, an unknown pain that have been stabbing you few moment ago.

You heave a small sigh while looking at the walls.

It’s weird. It’s weird when you’ve learned what is pain-- the moment you both have lost this relationship. You knew how exactly how pain feels like when he walked away from you and never seems to come back. You knew for real how heart break feels like when you woke up every morning with the heaviest cloud in your chest but he is still absent. He isn’t anywhere.

You knew it.

But, why does it hurt even more this time? It’s the same pain but why does it hurt a little bit more when you saw her, smiling at him—like you used to do back then? It hurts even more when he pulled her closer to his side—just how he would do to you.

It’s unfair. You finally recalled how bright her smile looks like—exactly how you looked like before. It’s unfair.

“Does the food taste good?” Nayeon asks out of sudden as you can feel a warm touch on your shoulder. You flinch a little, making the cutlery to fall down on the floor, causing them to look at you. You laugh nervously before bending down to take it back.

“Sure, it tastes amazing,” you smile at her then to her fiancé, Minho. Both of them look good. It would be cliche to say this but some people really are meant for each other because when you see them, they look beautiful. Minho apologises for your dirty spoon as he calls one of the helpers to get you a new one.

The next second, you feel the gazes are on you. Again.

“Rose, have you met her? She’s one of our close friends,” suddenly, Sana speaks to break the silence and you can’t help but feel a little nervous. You look at Sana before trailing your eyes to her—the beautiful woman across you. You see her eyes, they’re sparkling so effingly beautiful.

Of course, they had a welcome conversation with her when you were away to get your shit together. Of course, they have been laughing together as Jungkook introduced her as his girlfriend while you were stuck in the quiet alley, fighting these feelings—all by yourself.

Now, it’s your turn to let her know, who you are.

Rose’s mouth is opened slightly when she met your eyes. A soft smile appears on her lips as she sticks her hand out, to you. She wears that smile again.

“Hi, I’m Rose,” her unique voice fills the space around you. Her eyes are so bright, like it has nothing but sincere feelings. You nod before taking her hand, trying not to look awkward. You introduce yourself before both of you let go of each other’s hand.

You steal a glance at him.

He looks anywhere but you. Your heart clenches at the sight. Why does he make you feel like invisible and non-existent when you’re there, sharing the same place with him? You can’t deny when you feel like a big wall is climbing between you and him and you have no idea how to break it down. Immediately, you look away from him. Your heart feels like in pain.

“Jungkook talked a few things about you before. You indeed look beautiful in person,” she says, sending you her signature eye smile, which is making you lost at words.

He talked about you. How does it supposed to mean? Everyone at the table says nothing as they let both of you to talk and you’re so sure, they saw how obvious your face has changed the moment she said that.

When you see her soft expression, you immediately understand—Rose knew about you and Jungkook. She definitely knew about that.

You inhale some air before nodding. Part of you, is confused. If you ask yourself, you would feel jealous, awkward and intimidated if your boyfriend’s ex is there—basically eating in the same table with you.

But, the fact that she sounds cool and relaxed even she acknowledged the history you’ve shared with Jungkook, makes you wonder, why is that? Why does she sound so cool about that and why does it make your uneasy?

You look at her and she smiles at you, like nothing has happened. A sincere gesture and smile—she reminds you so much about him. A sudden tsunami of pain crashed all over you. Again, it takes you away from the reality.

You brought the cleaned cloth to the wet plate and wiped the residue off from the glass. It was Friday and you had nothing to do beside cleaning your new apartment since you took a day leave. It had been few hours since you began cleaning every part of the house without taking a rest. Probably, few minutes rest then you would drag your ass to continue whatever you left behind.

After the last plate, you heaved a sigh and glanced at the time on your phone. Almost 7pm but you still received no texts from Jungkook. Jungkook was out to work with the boys and he promised to text you when he already finished but when you received nothing, supposed he haven’t finished yet.

Leaving the phone on the kitchen counter, you brought yourself to the cabinet to put the plates and cutlery back to its place. You grunted when the cabinet was too high for you to reach with your short height and annoyed, you took a chair before you climbed on it.

Carefully, the plates were put slowly inside the wooden storage as you weighed yourself on the chair so it wouldn’t make you fall on the marble floor and break your chin. Of course, it would be a disaster if you have to spend your days in the hospital.

“Someone is wearing my clothes, again,” a raspy yet soft voice interrupted the silence in the kitchen and it made you jolted in surprise. Not to extent of overreacting but it definitely made you surprised. Where the hell that sound came from and why the hell Jungkook was standing there?

You cocked your head to him and there was him, leaning against the wall with arms crossed on his chest. He had an amused look all over his face, ignoring his fluffy hair that was covering his eyes. Jungkook looked up at you with a smile, probably waiting for you to respond.

“When did you come?” you frowned at him before you find yourself struggling to come down as the chair suddenly became wobbly and unstable. Reflexed, Jungkook came to get you off.

“Just now,” he said, still looking at you like a predator.

“Okay but should you surprise me like that? I could break my bones if I fall,” you mentioned about the earlier surprise. Your i’m-almost-annoyed mood changed when he grinned, showing off the cute wrinkle in the corner of his eyes.

“You’re overreacting. The chair is not that tall,” he pouted at you and you agreed. It wasn’t that tall actually but whatever, didn’t couple whine about littlest things?

You pinched his cheeks before turning your back at him to go to the counter to clean the table. Every step you were taking, you could feel your body was aching a lot from the work and all you wanted to do was get some bath and sleep.

“How’s the work?” you spoke as your hand went back and forth with the cloth, cleaning the residue on the counter. Jungkook hummed.

“Today was great. We met an agency to sign a contract with us but it’s not certain yet. Still in process,” his voice echoed from behind and you nodded at his remarks. Your lids were getting heavier.

“Wow, really? That’s great, baby. What’s the company name?” you said and almost yawned before you folded the wet cloth to finish what was left so you could get a fresh bath.

It was tiring but at least, you wanted to listen a sneak peek of Jungkook’s day before you could pamper yourself. Few seconds later, you have received no response from him, it made you stopped and turned your back to look at him.

Before you could do that, a familiar warmth collided against your skin on your back as his fresh cologne scent strike. It left you speechless for a moment when his firm arms snake around your waist, leaving you froze on the feet.

“Can we talk about those things later?” Jungkook buried his head on your shoulder and whispered with his raspy and melodious voice to your system. What was with the sudden move? You peeked at him across the shoulder.

“Alright but what are you doing?” you whispered back and out of sudden, he inhaled and nuzzled the scent from your neck, making you made a soft whimper. It got louder when he left a soft kisses along the neck. It wasn’t rough or rushed, instead, it was slow and romantic. Jungkook knew exactly where your weak spot was and when he found that, you couldn’t help but moaned. It felt surreal and amazing even your body was aching a lot.

“You look beautiful today. I can’t help,” he said between the kisses, making your skin vibrates along with the words that came out from his mouth. The next second, you find your skin tickled at the touch. It was hard to actually put into words but your fingertip tingled a lot when he touched you. Every part of your skin felt like they were on fire. A fierce fire.

“Jungkook, I’m tired,” you shuddered at the touch as he trailed his hand towards the hem of your shirt. That day, you wore nothing but only his oversize shirt that you stole from his closet. Not sure what came to your mind but you chose not to wear any panty or bra. It wasn’t usual of you but that day, it was different. For real, God must let you did that because of this.

“Hmm,” he hummed and it sent another electricity to you, again.

“Baby, I’ll be quick. I promise,” he groaned to your ears as he slid his hand inside the shirt and trailed his warm fingers lower to your abdomen. He knew what he was doing to your body and the way he played those fingers, it drove you crazy.

Your back arched and it made the gap between you and his chest became more significant. Jungkook noticed your body weakened at his touch so he trapped you between his veiny arms and let you hold on to them. You gripped on the cold surface of the counter while the other hand holding on around his wrist.

“Jin-Jungkook. Not today,” your voice almost disappeared when his hand had reached your core. He didn’t touch it but you could feel the heat coming from his big hand. The next second, you heard his small chuckle.

“Your mouth says no but your body says the opposite. Which one is dominant, baby?” he grunted as he pushed his hip closer to you and again, you bit the lower lip to refrain the moan from coming out. The huge bulge that was brushed in your inner thigh made you realised how turned on Jungkook was. He was turned on and when he did, you barely could say no.

He was a sexy beast.

“Spread your leg. Now,” he commanded.

You couldn’t catch a breath when his long and slender finger touched the clit of your core, the moment you spread your legs to give him an access. It moved in a perfect circle. It was in a gentle pace but it brought you to another world.

Moan filled the kitchen. Eyes were closed, mouth opened. There was nothing but erotic moan came out from your mouth.

“Ah~~Jungkook,” you panted along with his name. You wanted to pull his hand away because all you wanted to do was getting a fresh bath and rest but the more you tried to do that, the harder it became. His finger kept circling the bud as he nuzzling on your neck, kissing the sweet spot again and again. The sensation. It felt like a heaven.

“Still a no?” Jungkook grunted. You couldn’t respond to him. You couldn’t even think straight.

“Are you always this wet?” he added. As the words came out, his pace was getting faster, abusing the wet and swollen clit, giving you his endless ecstasy from his finger. It was crazy how his finger could make you feel this good. Jungkook then gave your exposed inner thigh a slow rub as he chanted how wet and turned on you were.

Eyes shut closed, your mouth was opened, moaning and whimpering his name, telling the world how good you were feeling. How good he made you feel.

His warm breath touched your neck. Breath hitched and weakened.

The next second, a familiar knot twirled inside your lower abdomen, for real, it gave more pleasure to all over your body. You screamed at Jungkook, telling him how close you were to your climax and just like how he usually did—he told you to give in.

“Let it go. Don’t hold back,” his sexy hoarse voice echoed and just like that, you find your juice was coming out from the core, wrapping his slender finger.

You immediately bent your upper body on the counter, getting yourself some air after almost being choked with your own saliva. How the hell you could breathe when he was abusing your clit? When he was kissing and biting your neck?

“You’re crazy,” you whispered at him, panting like crazy on the cold surface.

“I’m crazy for you,” Jungkook said when he eventually grabbed your hips and rubbed his throbbing member against your inner thigh. You yelped as it wasn’t clothed anymore but raw. It was big and hardened which is making your wet core, pooled again.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he cursed under his breath, without letting you to respond, he pushed his hip onto you and making his hardened member disappear inside you wet cunt. He didn’t let you to adjust to his size at all. You screamed at the sudden fill. Jungkook had been big from the first you had sex with him but this time, he felt really good.

Heavenly.

“Jungkook!!!” you screamed out loud, gripping onto his muscular arm tightly while supporting yourself on the kitchen counter with the other hand. Your nails were clawed on the surface as his member were throbbing inside you, it got bigger each time it slid.

Jungkook moaned slightly as you pushed hip onto him, making his tip reaching the walls of your pussy. A smile appeared on your lips when he moaned so you pushed your hip again and again, causing him to fill the space with his sexy moan.

Fucking sexy. He was fucking sexy when he moaned with his raspy voice. He barely made any sound when both of you made love but when he did, you swear to god, you became addicted to it. You made him feel good.

“Stop or you can’t walk for a week,” he grabbed your hips, stopping you to do that. You smirked.

“Prove that to me,”

You couldn’t see how he looked like but you knew his eyes were darkened in desire and lust. He hated when you challenged him and the fact that he would wreck you, you felt butterflies.

In a blink of eyes, he started to thrust his member into your wet pussy with the roughest pace while grabbing and rubbing your hip with his huge hands. His name came out from your mouth again and again as Jungkook grabbed one of your breasts before giving it a rough kneading.

Again, with his finger, he rubbed and pinched the hardened nipples slowly, making your system almost went error.

“Hmmmm Ahhh,” you screamed out of pleasure. The slapping sound, sounded like a background music along with his grunts and your erotic moan.

“Is that good? Hm?” he hummed, quickened the pace of thrust into you, wrecking the juice that was coming out from the hole. It was really messy and sloppy as the liquid running down your inner thigh.

You nodded.

“Jungkook, I want to see you,” you whined with the weakest voice. He gave you a few more thrust before pulling out and quickly turned your body around to look at him.

Now, you saw how he looked like when he was fucking you. His eyes strike into yours before he grabbed your hips with his arms and place your ass on the cold counter. You squealed at the sudden contact. It was cold and dull, you immediately missed how he felt like inside you.

Jungkook stared at you with his darkened gaze without anything came out from his mouth.

Taking him closer to you as you wrapped your legs around his waist, you smiled. His weakness.

“Kiss me,” you whispered at him.

He grunted again and pulling your mouth to his as he started to hover your lips. The entire part of your lips and mouth. The kiss was rough yet sweet. There was nothing rushed or sloppy when he kissed you. Jungkook’s kiss was always gentle and sexy. When he casually explored your mouth with his warm tongue, your core clenches for his touch. He needed to fill you again.

You pulled from the kiss and jerked the hip onto him along with the eyes strike into his gaze. Needy and desperate. A sudden chuckle left his mouth when he noticed how bad were you at being patient. He gave you a small peck before slamming his member into you again, causing your legs to tremble.

It felt like a heaven.

He grunted every time he pushed himself onto you while breathing hard on your collarbone. Every thrust felt like drugs, you wanted more and more.

“Fucking tight for me,” he scowled, like a beast.

“Hmmm. It feels so good. Harder, Jungkook. Harder. Ah, Ah!”

“Keep screaming my name. It fucking turns me on,” he growls, still pumping into you without looking away from your lewd eyes.

“Please, don’t stop,” you lifted your chin to the air and moaned, while fisting in his hair, softly. Jungkook’s name never left your mouth every time he pumped into your walls. The world seemed like it was fading from your vision and leaving you and Jungkook alone, making love to each other. You didn’t care. If world was breaking and fading, as long as Jungkook was there with you, you knew you would be fine.

His chest rose and almost fell with rapid breath even his pace wasn’t getting any slower. He spread your legs even more, abusing the swollen core.

“Mine. Mine,” Jungkook trailed his mouth to your neck and moaned the words again and again, against the skin, in sync with the thrust. His big tattooed hands slapped your ass over and over again, causing you to scream.

The words—it sent butterflies to your stomach. It was ecstatic and ethereal. How could it suit perfectly with the pleasure he was giving you at this moment? It doubled the electricity that had been running down under your skin.

“You’re mine. Always mine,” he moaned again. Grunts and groans—with his voice. Rough and sloppy, your favourite.

Endless moans and scream came out from your mouth. Your body started to twitched and flinched when the climax started to build inside you. The walls were sensitive and swollen but Jungkook wouldn’t stop. Your body bounce against him, taking his throbbing cock inside you as much as you could.

“Jungkook….Hmmm~ I need to—,” you screamed through gritted teeth, holding both of his shoulders. When you opened your eyes, you lowered your gaze at him and he was staring at your soul. The eye contact—he stared at you like a predator while slamming his hip onto you. You couldn’t help but met his eyes. Those beautiful orbs—there is no way you would want to look away. Every part of him, were an art. His breath hitched.

You moaned while looking at him and a satisfied smile appeared on his face when you had the erotic response to his touch.

“Release yourself and scream my name, baby,” Jungkook groaned at your opened mouth. Mouth opened, moan and whimper. He loved that. When you couldn’t wait any longer, you cummed around his member and left your whole body twitching.

Moment after, he released himself into you, filling every part of your core with his warm liquid. You couldn’t name anything better than this. This was heaven.

Jungkook panted heavily on your shoulder as he supported you from falling on the counter by wrapping his arms around the waist. You held onto his arms while your chest rose back and forth, catching some air and calming the throbbing core.

The weather was cold but the sweat was prickling on both of you and Jungkook’s skin. It was really amazing—difficult to put it into words but it was really amazing. The pleasure you’ve reached. It was crazy

When he finally calmed down a bit, Jungkook pulled out from you and brought his gaze into your soft eyes. His eyes have changed. They have looked sincere and affectionate—like it was full with love, for you. Just for you. You smiled at his flushed and sweaty face. Beautiful.

“I love you,” he spoke. His doe eyes sparkled with affection. The way he stared at you, you could see a soft cloud in his eyes. It was love. True love.

Slowly, you trailed your hand to his cheek and gave it a few rubs.

“I know,” you whispered with a smile. His face. Your heart aches at the sight. Not a pain one but it ached a lot to think how this man existed and God sent him to you. It ached you when you couldn’t even prepare yourself if you lose him one day. There was no way you would want to let this man go.

Jungkook kissed you gently and pulled away to look at you again.

“I love you so much,”

“I love you too, Jungkook,” you said

You come back to reality immediately when the sound of people talking interrupt you and your memories. You look at the untouched food on your plate and realised how long you have been stucked in those scary thoughts.

Why the hell that part comes in your mind—when he is right in front of you, entertaining his new girlfriend? Why is that part of him, touching you and telling you how much he loved you, come right when his girlfriend is smiling at your pathetic face?

You thought God loves you but this is too cruel.

You smooth the dress under the table and starts digging the food. You’ve lost the appetite but you need to end this day quickly—even deep inside, it feels longer.

For some reason, when everyone is having fun, Seulgi is gossiping with Sana. The boys are laughing and almost drunk along with Nayeon and her fiancé. While Jungkook, he is sitting there, talking to Rose like you aren’t there.

You feel like this place doesn’t belong to you. You want to go home. Now. Because your body seems like it’s getting weaker.

You can hear how bright Rose’s voice from the way she talks to him. When she giggles and Jungkook would casually listen and stare at her when she is talking, probably about how her dog is behaving at home and when Jungkook would tuck the hair strand on her face behind her ears to look at her even better—your heart is crushed.

You used to be in that place. You used to spend the whole night, telling him how suck your colleagues are or whining about the small cut you had on your finger or maybe—clinging onto him when you missed his presence. Jungkook would listen while sipping his coffee and eating the snacks.

He actually listened and engaged with you, from the very beginning. The best part is he remembered.

And,

You used to giggle at his random jokes and told him how lame it sounded like. He was bad at making good jokes but the weird thing is, you laughed anyway. He didn’t care as long as you laugh. Even it’s an ugly laugh—he didn’t care because all he wanted was seeing you smile.

But, you’ve lost it. Everything. Now, Rose is in that place, doing everything that you used to do with him. You feel like you’ve been replaced—definitely. He is in love with someone else, which isn’t you. It feels so unfair for some reason.

You inhale some air to calm down the overwhelming feeling that started to take over your body. You steal a glance at both of them before you looked away immediately. You finally realised the distance you have between them two despite just sitting few centimetres away. For some reason, you understand—some things are unreachable even you’re only a step away.

So, you choose to leave.

You remember how worried Seulgi’s face is when you pulled her to quiet place and said you wanted to leave this place. You convinced her to stay since Nayeon probably needs her until the end of the party.

“I’m fine. I should be fine,” you told her. You’re not very sure about that part.

The party is still on-going but your heart isn’t. Seulgi immediately knows what’s happening and finally, agreed for you to leave.

You’ve talked to Nayeon and just as sweet as she always is, she understands. You knew everyone is well aware what has been happening between you and Jungkook. The fact that they’re being careful and respect this situation instead of making it more awkward, you appreciate it so much.

When you finally have the chance to leave, you immediately disappear from the hall as you bring yourself to the back entrance. Nobody would know you are leaving—not even Jungkook. You wouldn’t know this night will end like this. You have no idea you would bringing yourself to the back entrance—leaving like you’re not meant to be here.

“Hey,” as you take your steps to leave the place, you heard the familiar voice from behind. Your heart thumps when you look back.

It’s Jungkook.

He is standing at the door while looking at you and your devastated self. His broad figure under the dim lights look majestic, along with his orbs, sparkling, like they always do.

You feel your throat is choking when he comes closer to you, towering your small and petite figure. He had grown taller from the last time you saw him. It has been so long.

“Seulgi told me you’re leaving,” his voice sounds calm and soft. God, you’ve missed that voice—so much. You clear your throat and nod.

“Yeah. I’m leaving,” you speak, looking up at his eyes even though they are the most dangerous thing in your entire life. He sucks on his lower lip.

“I have something to do…at the office,” you sound hesitant because you know how awful you sound like. You’re not sure whether he notices the lies you’re telling him but you hope, he don’t. It’s weekend and you literally have nothing to do at the office, like you claimed. You don’t want to leave but you need to.

He nods.

“I see. I know it’s late but congratulations. You finally become a designer,” a small smile appears on his lips—without knowing, it brings so much pain to you. You nod at him, looking down to your feet.

There is a silence between you and him, for a moment before you could hear his voice again.

“Thank you for all the good times we’ve spent together,” he added.

“I couldn’t tell you this when we both separated but I really want you to know that the time we had together was beautiful and amazing. It wasn’t short or long either but I definitely won’t forget every inches of it,”

His honey voice fills every space around you and him. It feels like the gravity has lost and the world is fading from you and him. You see and hear nothing but him. It’s weird and crazy but your eyes—you only see him.

“When I broke up with my exes, I always feel regret of dating them but with you, I don’t feel regret—at all. You were one of the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t want to forget those good times. Thank you for giving me such a good memories to remember,”

He sounds very calm and steady when the words come out from his mouth. He rather sounds like none of the memories hurt him like it hurts you.

But, those words—why do they hurt you so bad? This bad? Your heart breaks at the last words. You knew there was a goodbye a long time ago but this time, it feels like it’s officially over and both of you are telling goodbyes to each other.

You don’t want a goodbye. Not now. Not forever. You could feel tears are pooling on your eyes before you casually shake your head, to make the tears go away.

“The time we had together was indeed beautiful. They were so beautiful,” you slowly bring your eyes to him and reading his eyes. Oh, they are always beautiful. They look like a night sky that you never wanted to stop looking at.

He smiles but it tortures you even more.

“But….Can I ask you something?”

He nods.

“Do you love her?” You don’t know where the courage comes from but deep inside, you want to know. You want to know exactly how he feels like even you already know the answer. But, this time, you realise how delusional you are. You want a different answer.

Jungkook stares at your eyes, trying to get the message from them. The silence he gives you is killing you softly. That is the longest silence in your entire life and it brings you nothing but hope. Jungkook smiles, showing off the small dimple on his cheek.

“I do. Very much,”

You are scattered. Into million pieces. You wished you heard him wrong but when Jungkook’s face lights up along with the words, leaving his mouth, you couldn’t believe it’s real. You don’t want to believe but when you realise Jungkook wouldn’t say something like that without actually mean it—you whole soul is crushed.

This is real. You’ve lost him. You’ve really lost him. The one you love with your entire heart and soul.

Your mouth is opened, trying to say something but nothing comes out.

“Even we are no longer together, I hope you would find someone who would love you more than I did. I’m sure you would find it because you deserve the happiness,”

Nobody would love me like you do—you’re my happiness. Your heart screams.

He looks at his wrist and suddenly looking he is rushing to go back.

“I think it’s time to go,” Jungkook says but when he notices your gaze, he stops immediately. He knew you have something to say from your gaze. The body language—he remembered. It’s crazy how sweet yet painful it is.

“Jungkook,” you call him. You couldn’t find the right words to actually tell the words that have been keeping inside your chest. You need to do it today because world knows, you won’t be seeing him again.

“Thank you for making me feel loved and secure during the time we had shared together. Thank you so much for bringing the best part of me when I couldn’t love myself—like you did, You taught me so many things that it changed me to becomes stronger. This strong,” you stop when your chest is rising and your throat is choking.

“Don’t remember me. Please forget everything about us and cherish a new one with her. Don’t love her like you love me—love her like you want to love her and the way she wanted to be loved,” you feel like your throat is choking when the words feel like a poison. You couldn’t believe you’re telling him to forget about you, about those times you’ve shared—with him.

He looks stunned, leaving him speechless.

“Before I go, I need you to know that…..” you stop and stare into his eyes for one more time.

“My love for you was real and sincere. I’ve loved you so much,”

What a white lies.

This is embarrassing to say since he is in love with someone else but That’s the least you could do—because he is now out of reach from your hands.

Jungkook grins. He looks at your softly.

“Thank you,” he nods. You wish he would say more than that. But, it leaves you to no avail. You can hear your heart is screaming.

“I think it’s time to go,”

“Goodbye,” the next second, you trail your eyes to his eyes and taking every image of that beautiful pair of eyes like there is no tomorrow. Like tomorrow won’t come. But, for real, there is no tomorrow for you and him anymore. There is no future of you and him anymore.

How cruel this world is.

The moment when you bring your feet to take the steps away from him and turning your back at him, you could hear his very last word.

“Take care,”

Where did the last part go? “Text me when you reach home” part? Where did you lose it?

Every step you’re taking to the busy street of the city, they feel like thousand thorns are stabbing every part of your skin. It stabs and leaves the wound wide opened. For real, It feels awful and scary when you’re walking from the person with the most memories you don’t want to erase.

When the sudden realisation hit you like a storm—you could feel the pain inside your chest. You feel something is throbbing in your heart and it hurts like crazy. It hurts so bad—you can feel it, choking you from your own breath.

Let him go.

As if it is that easy.

More steps are taken before you realise the tears have been streaming down to the cheeks and pouring on the ground, like a rain. You didn’t know you’ve been crying ever since you walk away until you taste the salty water. It’s bitter.

You’re sobbing like a crazy woman when you realise how long you have been fighting with your own tears the moment you saw him for the first time in forever. You wanted to cry when you saw him because you know, you’re still in love with him. The more you wipe the water from coming down, the more it wets your face, the sad symbolic how broken your heart is.

Your heart is crushed into pieces. You wanted him so much. It never changes. The 365 days you’ve spent alone, didn’t make any difference because when you come back to your bed every night to end the day —you still want him from the deepest bottom of your heart. He is still there in your mind— His scent, his laughter, his voice, his touch—you remember it all too well.

If life is a movie—he is the best part and you can’t forget every inch of it because you knew exactly how it feels like to sleep along with the hopes, in case you could wake up with him beside you.

But, that tiny hope seems like it has been taken away, leaving you hopeless. That hope—it used to make you feel alive but it’s gone. You feel dead.

The people are looking at you, crying over the pain inside your chest. The tears, it falls like river. You didn’t care—they don’t understand how painful it is. Nobody understands this. You want them to but they won’t because it aches too much. It’s hard to put it into words because even thousand words aren’t enough.

Just because you love them, doesn’t mean you’re meant for each other. Just because you adore them, doesn’t mean you’re right for each other.

The tears fall even more at the thought. You bring you hand to your chest, while the other hand clutching the purse tightly with your feet stepping the countless steps to anywhere. God, take this pain away. Take this wound away from me. Give me anything but not this.

You beg with your might.

Now, when the night falls even deeper, when you have no idea how far you have been walking along the streets, when the cold breeze touches your tingly skin, when the seasons change from winter to spring, you know, everything has changed. Your place has been replaced. Forever.

Jungkook has become a memory and you need to accept it even it takes million years. You’re sure—it would take forever. He is someone, whom you can’t reach no matter how you shed the blood and tears. He is unreachable. He used to be but not anymore.

Looking at your feet, you wonder.

Giving a second chance to a wrong person or not getting a chance from the right one, which one hurts the most?

But, for sure, the thing that could break you into thousand pieces is knowing that;

If second chance exists, it’s definitely not for you and him.

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