#and it bugged me enough that i had to redo the whole thing

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

I made a tiktok and i find myself very funny. Please enjoy.

[jasmine-the-fox]

The bee protects the ladybug better then the cat ever could

So... this was a request made by Anon. I have been meaning to post it but now here I am doing it at long last.

I hope you all enjoy this piece!

Marinette realised she fell out of love towards Adrien once she understood she was in love with Chloe's half sister Zoe. It had been a huge shock to her but Tikki was able to calm her down enough that she was able to think over things... and understand that changes needed to be done in her life. As a result, she got rid of every single picture she had of Adrien in her room and donated all of the gifts she made for Adrien after getting rid of his schedule.

Once all of that was done. She decided to redo her room a little bit with the decor... and who better to ask for help then Zoe! It was perfect! She could ask her to come help her pick things out and then invite her over to help her redo her decor. Which is what she did, while nervous of course Mari stuttered out her request of Zoe helping her buy some new decor for her room after school... and the blonde accepted making Mari very excited to the answer. Which resulted in them having a fun time together doing some shopping.

When they were done, Mari asked Zoe if she was free to come over tomorrow... she wanted her opinion on where to place the new decor and she happily accepted "I think it would be a fun thing to do together. Then we could take a walk together" she offered which made Mari even more excited about tomorrow. She was freaking out on how things were going "What if she asks me out! Or I ask her out or even better we do it at the same time!?" She said as she flopped on her bed with a smile on her face.

Tikki found it nice that her bug and Pollen's bee were bonding so well at the moment... for in the past, some of Plagg's cats would never let it happen so Plagg had to start keeping them away so it can happen. Later that day, Mari drops off the bee miraculous in Zoe's room to make Vesperia an official member to the team... she could only hope that Cat Noir would be alright with this... last thing she wants is a temper tantrum from him, the next day. Zoe arrives and goes up to Mari's room.

The two get to work quickly since Zoe had come up with a few ideas for them to use to decorate Mari's room, it actually made things go faster than they thought... so when they finished... the two went on there walk together. Mari was of course internally screaming... but it got worst when Zoe took hold of her hand... resulting in Mari blushing like crazy... and also stuttering out both her feelings and asking Zoe out on a date. Of course, Zoe laughed and claimed she was cute and funny... but accepted both her feelings and the date request.

People watched as Mari had a slight freak out of joy in silence... while Tikki and Pollen laughed at the whole thing...

So... the two girls walked into school as a couple the following week. People found them cute and Alya began calling them 'Zoenette' which made them blush. Chloe at one point took Mari away and gave her the "If you hurt my sister's heart in any way I will hurt you and ruin your life" talk and Mari not only had a freak out... but Zoe had a fight with her sister when they got back to the hotel. Chloe to Mari's shock apologized the next day and offered to take her out shopping after school which she accepted since Sabrina was nodding to her to agree.

Adrien however... didn't like this. Even though everyone thought the two girls were cute together... he didn't think they should be together... the same went for Vesperia and Ladybug. The two started not only dating but working more together! Alya had made a poll about there ship name being either 'Ladyria' or 'Vespebug' and he hated it all to be honest. he believed they were making a mistake and that 'LadyNoir' was meant to be no matter what in the end... but no one wanted to listen to him.

So he decided to start with Zoe and Marinette... and what better way they to claim Zoe like her sister Chloe...

He was avoided like the plague. He couldn't believe it didn't work, Lila tried to help him with a few lies... but it quickly backfired when Chloe and Sabrina revealed she was a liar... scared for her life and not wanting to face her actions, she ran back to Italy to be safe... which caused everyone who gave her money for stuff or to donate... wasn't getting it back at all which caused them to be upset with her. But before she left she revealed to them the one truth she would say "Adrien and Marinette were the only ones who knew I was a liar. You all turned your backs on her when she tried to reveal me and Adrien kept quiet" this caused them all to feel betrayed by him.

He lost his friends without ever knowing why. Zoe and Mari on the other hand were very happy now that Lila was gone... this left Vesperia and Ladybug for him to stop. He found out that they were going on a date together when he was on patrol... so he planned to ruin it... but he missed it due to a photoshoot his father had for him. As a result... Mari revealed herself to Vesperia which resulted in there relationship being stronger than before... and 'Vespebug' became there ship name.

Adrien was of course pissed off at the fact he failed to allow the four to be in relationships in the end. Believing he still had a chance he stormed over to Mari's place, he went to her room "You need to leave Zoe Marinette! I'm telling you she's just like Chloe! This sweet and nice thing is an act! Once she get's what she want's from you she will leave you while laughing!" he claimed with the great hope she would believe him... but instead he was kicked out of the bakery by her angry parents while Mari screamed from her balcony to stay away from her.

He tried the same thing as Cat Noir to Vesperia... but she kept her distance every time he tried to talk to her. What he didn't know is that Mari tried calling her but ended up calling Chloe by mistake... she of course quickly told Zoe who ran to be by her girlfriend's side to comfort her. As a result, there were problems between them during akuma battles that the public noticed pretty quickly and began to worry that something was wrong... they began to ask questions which annoyed Adrien as it wasn't any of there business in the first place, but then he had enough and did an interview for Nadja.

She brought it up and he... lied, he claimed that Ladybug and Vesperia were fighting over something and to mind there own business now. This angered many as they were worried for them and wanted things to get back to normal... and claimed he was being a jerk for telling them that, but he believed he had a right to say what he said... until it backfired on him when Ladybug and Vesperia gave Alya an interview to tell the truth, they were in her living room and they spoke "Cat Noir lied about the problem... the truth is he is the problem" Ladybug explained "He tried to lie to me about Ladybug being in love with him and that I was in the way of them being together. He also claimed that she and I weren't a match and that I needed to leave the team" Vesperia explained.

They talked a bit more about the situation but in the end it caused Cat Noir to be greatly hated by the public. His merch was destroyed and the statue made in his and Ladybug's honor was destroyed and would only be remade once he was replaced, this caused Adrien to not transform as he didn't want to get thrown stuff at him anymore. Mari struggled with this but Zoe was by her side and believed it was for the best... so they reclaimed it from him when Ladybug got him to come out. He tried to fight back but venom used on him... it was over.

But it wasn't over just yet. With Zoe's support and Chloe and Sabrina by her side, Mari told the entire class what Adrien tried to tell her about Zoe so they could breakup... it infuriated the class since he was in the wrong to do something like this to Mari, Chloe even showed them how Mari called her by mistake that day which proved what he did. The class attacked him for it and he was reported to his father... who decided to send him to London to live with his aunt and cousin for the time being.

After that... things were better for the two girls. They were happy and freed from Adrien and Cat Noir... they even replaced him with Chloe who went by the name Black Panthère and she worked hard to prove she was better than Cat Noir. As a result, merch began to be designed and a new statue was in the making for the three girls... but considering the team was planning to expand... it might take awhile to make before getting revealed.

But the bee and ladybug were happy now... and no black cat would put an end to that...

[savrenim]

whos ur mdzs blorbo (if u say anyone but jiang cheng youre wrong /JOKE)

not to be an Extremely Basic Bitch but Wei Wuxian. in my defense gotta LOVE me any character who is doing basic physics research and you cannot tell me that the development of demonic cultivation is not basic physics research in any given story I am going to be most obsessed with the character who is closest to doing theoretical physics in that setting bc most often nobody gives a fuck about the physics of their world in the main story even!! though!! it!! would!! be!! really!! cool!! magic!! physics!! that!! I!! want!! to!! know!! about!! and yes I understand the author set out to tell a story not to do fundamental physics but the physics of it will haunt me. I can and will kill on the hill that Wei Wuxian does magic physics and he does it Really Fucking Well and that is the thing I care most about in the world

but also

I am generally Bad At Cooking. I got better at cooking towards the end of grad school! but at the beginning of grad school I was actually cooking all my own food for the first time and was Bad At It and what's worse is that I was so tight on time that I'd almost always bulk cook for the whole week which meant that if I fucked up a recipe I had to eat it for lunch and dinner for like six days straight

until I discovered. the single best cooking hack. in the world.

you see, I like spicy. and I'm a vegetarian have been for forever and vegetarian bulk meals are like. "pasta and vegetables" "beans and rice and vegetables" etc etc. which and it turns out. that if you fuck up trying to make something. without altering the texture and having to redo anything bc it's totally possible to do it at the very end you can just dump an ungodly amount of red pepper flakes and/or cayenne pepper powder in and now it does not taste Bad, it simply tastes Spicy, and for me, that tastes Good

I proceeded to use this trick with everything. including when my coffee beans got really old and stale bc bought those in bulk too. simply throw red pepper flakes in to the ground beans before you drip brew it and now it's spicy coffee instead of stale coffee!

anyways I eventually became A Better Cook and Started To Make Food That Is Spicy But You Can Actually Like. Taste Other Flavors. miss Spicy Coffee tho, wish I had the time to brew my own coffee again.

fast forward to like. a month ago.

I discovered about a month ago lo and behold that I Do Slightly Better life-wise if I Actually Eat Breakfast before running out the door even though it's like 6:45am and I'm not that hungry. and I had a bunch of old fancy farmer's market granola from like two years ago that was about to expire so I started eating that with some greek yogurt. but it was a small bag and I was about to run out. so I bugged housemate-partner-who-is-a-good-cook-my-beloved of would he consider helping make me a shit-ton of homemade bulk granola, I'd grab the ingredients and we could figure it out as we went along

except the thing is he Hates cooking by Vibes instead of A Recipe it Stresses Him Out So Much bc he is not used to people with the attitude of "eh if I fuck around I find out that is the deal I make with the universe I'll still eat it" he is used to people with the attitude of "if it's fucked up I am physically incapable of eating this"

so I. jokingly. as he expressed some Worry about "do we REALLY need to cook this by Vibes? can we Please find a granola recipe??" went "hey don't worry!! if it comes out Absolutely Terrible we can just use my old trick from grad school of throwing enough cayenne pepper into it that it just takes Spicy instead of Bad!" the joke being that like. spicy granola in yogurt that is a CRIME hell spicy granola is a crime who ever heard of spicy granola

.............except I was. really curious.

so the next morning I tried sticking some red pepper flakes so the texture wouldn't be disgusting into my granola and yogurt, I am nothing if not a caricature of myself, I live by the primary tenet of "commit to the bit" there did not exist a world in which once I had set forth that bit I would not Commit to it.

and it was delicious????? like it was weird Spicy Surprise but it was delicious. No Bit I Just Legitimately Like Spicy Granola Apparently With Or Without Yogurt.

so I Decided that let's not even wait for us to Potentially Fuck Up The Granola Recipe let's just put 3/4ths of a full shaker of red pepper flakes into it for Funnsies. because that's a reasonable amount of red pepper flakes, right? there's a lot of granola I want to make sure that there's a hint of spice in every bite!

out came a gallon and a half of Crimes Granola. the red pepper flakes got into the coconut oil so every single bite of it is infused with a huge amount of spice it is FUCKING DELICIOUS and to absolutely every single person in my house who have Nowhere Near My Spice Tolerance even the one who Likes Reasonably Spicy Things it is Totally Inedible I make a three month supply of booby-trapped granola that I and I alone can eat

anyways.

like two days later I proceeded to have an existential crisis about the fact that I'd made granola that I was the only person I knew who would like it, except also, Wei Wuxian would probably like it.

so yeah he's my fave.

[darushi-chan]

Helouu, Im back with more content for my HOTD reptiles AU uwu. I’m kind of losing my marbles here, normally I use corel painter to do my stuff, but for some reason the program has been giving me the middle finger really hard, recently I had to replace my graphic tablets pen and I havent used the program in some time, so I don’t even know why now it doesn’t wanna work anymore ;w;, it frezees and crashes and to be able to work I need to save my work like every brush stroke I do, and its just crap. Every time the damn thing died it made a back up and by the time I had like 10 I just couldn’t... so I had to completely change my approach, another program another brush, but I still liked it a lot, just took me a couple days to decide and find something else I was comfortable enough to work with, I’ve been using the same brush for years and I’m really attached to the damn thing, and Corel support its gonna take some time to solve my problem, so I think I’ll just do the whole series of drawings in this new style, tough I really like and miss how my brush usually blends things and argggg, well, I hope you all don’t mind the huge learning curve you will totally get to see while I get used to the new brush and everything, for now I’ll give you an unfinished grandma Vhagar that I was really happy with, but just couldn’t finish for the love of god, and the Jacegon drawing 😄, with little Vermax the jackson chameleon and Sunfire the sulcata tortoise 💕. I think I’m gonna redo the Lucemond first drawing with this stile too, that way it will be coherent and I’ll be able to finish it more to my taste. In case someone needs context here is my first post: https://www.tumblr.com/darushi-chan/709399100359163904/hotd-modern-au-where-everyones-dragons-are-some?source=share

More details for the AU: -Jace and Aegon ran away to Italy and started their own wine company called “The usurper” 😂. -Of course they totally did not buy a vineyard state on a coozy hill with their trust fund, nope. -Oh yes, Sunfire the golden, the official grape tester for the wine, yes...Vermax its there for moral support and to eat any bugs that dare to interrupt them or show in the grapes. -And obviously Aegon had to join to, gotta make sure that wine its just the best of the best for their new company. -Jace may not approve now but he’ll see the light for sure. -Alicent and Rhaenyra are totally giving them money “as investors” so they dont starve while they start the company, like the complete privileged kids they are 😂.

[evasivaardilosa]

Ok, time for the long and probably incoherent reaction to what I saw. Just parts of the story mode, a bit of character endings though I tried to avoid it, and a bit of the menus and stuff. Under the cut

For reference, I started at what seemed to be Ashrah’s chapter and went until Kuai Liang’s. Conveniently my favs!

The girl was indeed Khameleon!! And she looks so pretty! If I had any doubts I needed the dlc pack, they’re gone now

The dlc (non guests) and kameos seem all to be un story mode? I wasn’t expecting for this. This is nice

Jerrod is in Ermac! That was it, right?? He’s there! We always knew but I don’t think we had anything as explicit as he calling for Sindel

(Then again it wasn’t actually said so it may end up being contradicted by something I didn’t see)

So Liu Kang’s plan to avoid shit was making the bad guys he nobodies. That was smart. Or would have been had it worked. Quan Chi isn’t even a demon anymore

(I bet it’s not a coincidence Shao was born disabled too, huh)

You know Shang is good when you want to punch his face when he is just standing there. This Shang is very good

Reptile ate a bug!!! I got one prediction right!! I really wanted him to do it!!

I may have to redo that poll now that Baraka is an Edenian. It’s only fair

Kenshi and Johnny are so gay. I was neutral on the ship and I didn’t see the beginning but what I saw was enough for me to get it

Talking about gays, my favorite scene was Mileena and Tanya obviously flirting and Kitana being like “no she has her vows!!” and Mileena asking who told her. Girl. You are not as discreet as you think you are

Only now I see what you guys were saying about Bi-Han’d voice. Not gonna lie I find it sexy

I know that Lin Kuei chapter was probably a disappointment to everyone and while I would also have liked for Bi-Han to be less of a dick but it’s Mortal Kombat, guys, the characters don’t usually step out of their boxes often. His box is of a bad guy. The chapter was pretty much what we all could have expected. In fact, I think everything there was successfully predicted without any leaks

That being said, it was hilarious that you could see the gears turning in Bi-Han’s brain as soon as he saw the money. I never saw him as someone that cared much about money. Power, yes, obviously, but not money. Then again I best know him after death and I guess money doesn’t matter when you’re dead

Kuai got the scar!! And I think that only after seeing it my brain finally accepted that that man is really Kuai Liang. Like, I knew it, and I think he was always called by his name, but he looks so different that it hadn’t really clicked. Until the scar

Smoke is lovely

Holy shit, Havik

They mentioned Sektor and Cyrax and since a lot of other kameos are in the story, I guess they likely are. So… are they just cybers from the start? Are we in the middle of the cyber initiative?? Can I have hopes of seeing them in human form??

(Kameos have skins, btw!! And gear!!)

There’s more that I am certainly forgetting, but let’s end this with Kenshi in sunglasses from the tower ending. He looks so nice

Anyway since this post will likely get more views than the last one because of the tags, I will say it again: if anyone can tell me where to watch the whole thing, I will love you forever

[thistransient]

- So I went to the Taiwanese trial class with my friend. It was taught by a little old lady who was nice enough but gave me some mild flashbacks to those harrowing weeks with the Mandarin teacher of a similar age. Most of the session was her explaining the history of 台語 in Taiwan, with a side of trying to force the 8 tones and counting from 1 to 10 upon us via rote memorization. I felt a bit frustrated and not entirely thrilled, my friend was miffed that the school hadn’t explained the price they quoted was for the trial class only. We’ve decided to give it a pass and try a different school, although our scheduled trial there is on hold on account of the teacher falling ill. In the meantime my friend has begun to contemplate taking group Japanese class instead (as his partner and her kid are Japanese), which is much more widely available. I am tempted. Do I need to start half-assedly learning yet another language? Probably not. Do I want to divert my energy from Mandarin to whole-assedly learn Japanese? Also not really. Is there a high chance of following through nonetheless? At least I’m self-aware about it...

- Job applications here largely require a photo, and I need a haircut but I’m afraid to go back to the place I went in August for the big chop. The guy started cutting it while wet, then broke out the blow-dryer and kept snipping til he was satisfied, but because my hair is curly and I do not own styling product more complicated than a comb, it reverted immediately to a vague dandelion shape and took several months to actually resemble the reference photo I’d provided. The thought keeps crossing my mind to simply shave my head entirely. I had it buzzed to a 3 some ten years ago after a dye-job gone wrong and did not enjoy my appearance. Of course I look different now, and hair grows back, but the struggle between wanting the catharsis and radical change (not to mention less mess in the shower drain strainer) of a head-shave, and fearing the hassle of growing it all back out if I do truly detest it is raging inside of me.

- After coming back from Korea I may have spent one whole day languishing in bed and eating spoonfuls of peanut butter as a meal before slowly reconvening daily activities. I have been meeting some friends and going out, but I end up needing one day of hermit-like recovery for every outdoor social endeavour. I have yet to implement any kind of proper schedule (beyond “try to eat three meals and go outside at least once”), leading my friends to recommend I start by contemplating my greater, overarching goals for life. Every few years I come round to the notion of attempting a STEM degree (which would require redoing undergrad, but, as they say, “the time will pass anyways”). I think it would be really engaging to do a program taught in Chinese, and possibly motivate me to overcome my deficiencies in the math department, which is what always puts me off the whole scheme. Scientific terms are so much simpler in Mandarin because they’re extremely 顧名思義 (just as the name implies); English really shot itself in the foot with all the Greek and Latin. I don’t even need to check the dictionary to figure out 光合 means ‘photosynthesis’... Will I actually follow through with this, and live out my days happily studying trees and avoiding small talk with humans, or will I continue to trundle through life intermittently trying to teach English between bouts of autistic burnout? When I put it that way, the answer seems obvious, but this is without factoring in all the bugs that live in trees... Also wasn’t I trying to convince myself to go to grad school for what, translation? linguistics? library science? something? just a few months ago? Maybe overarching life goals are a red herring at present, and I should just get a job first and then see what kind of things I’m interested in when I have consistent disposable income to pursue them at length.

- I am, at the ripe old age of my mid-30s (I’m rounding up since my birthday is next month- again, so soon??) being forced to reconsider what it means to like someone. Perhaps on account of being socially inept and spending all of my formative years in Catholic school, I took for granted that it was that painful, infatuated pining one feels for attractive strangers or casual acquaintances who generally don’t reciprocate. In the past couple years I began to experience the strange phenomenon of having great affection for friends I’d gotten to know slowly and who became increasingly physically appealing as time wore on, but I wrote this off as Mystery Emotion X because it lacked that frantic obsession I was accustomed to. Now I suspect this may simply be a healthy manifestation of romantic attraction. I’ve often struggled with exactly what identity label the intersection of my gender, attraction pattern, and neurodivergency might land me under. I think the plot is thickening... but I will put off pursuing further clarity by going to the BDSM bar instead.

[ezrisdax-archive]

If you could fully rewrite Mass Effect 2, how would you do it?

I'd lean harder into the keepers already being controlled by the reapers and in charge of the citadel. I wouldn't have done the collector arc at all as related to the protheans tbh, while the reveal was cool the first time I played it the more I thought about it and the lore they gave us in ME3 just didn't make it make much sense because once again, they have this genetic touch memory power so why did they get rid of it when the collectors could have solved a lot of things that way.

but yeah. hm, a full redo of ME2...there's certain beats I might wanna keep like Shep dying which was certainly impactful and Liara becoming the shadowbroker which is important to her arc, and except for Jacob's (which I'd redo entirely) I wouldn't change much in the content of the squadmate missions. When it comes to Shep joining Cerberus though I'd offer more pushback and actually bringing up the ME1 stuff if you did that missions, like have a conversation branch associated with that. Maybe even have it where if you against it enough you'd lose assests and Shep is in fact playing Cerberus the way Tali suggests but has to walk a careful line otherwise let's say you lose Miranda and Jacob as squadmates once you have enough.

Now the suicide mission I'd keep but I think I'd change the whole idea of it, like yeah omega relay can stay but you're not going to stop the collectors, you're trying to just block the reapers from coming in through a certain other access point. maybe the omega relay is like a copy of the citadel, an original one the reapers made but wasn't fully functional and the keepers have been leaving the old citadel and no one knows where they're going because no one's realized that the omega relay is an old citadel yet. and that's just mentioned really here and there and not the main plot persay but something that plays a major point of tying in.

so for the main arc I'm okay with keeping the collectors and having them kidnap humans but I'd just have them be this new alien that no one knew of, not something known before because again, why send sovereign if you had them right there. or hell maybe they were part of the galaxy before but they did believe Shep and chose to go the Saren route and now you've got a whole race that's chosen to work for the Reapers instead of just one person. and while they do start by taking humans to serve up to the Reapers in an attempt to not have their species taken towards the end they also start taking other species. I just wanted more in ME2 where Shep has to build relationships with other species and not just their squadmate of that species. and then that plays in to ME3 depending on how to treated those species. did you rescue them along with the humans or not?

actually I might change Legion's story a little now that I think about it, maybe have his side the heretics who chose not to believe in the Reapers as gods and his side is the one you have to prevent a rewrite of. and then in ME3 you have to convince the other Geth the Reapers aren't gods and forge that alliance with them and the Quarian. I just think this new species of robots who have a belief system like that was a fascinating story and I wanted more of a look into it.

ME2 mostly bugs me because the collector backstory and we don't get as much interactions with reapers but I admit I'm not quite clever enough fully to figure out how to tie the reapers in more how I want them to be. mr "assuming direct control" is fun as a meme but he really lacked the shock and elegance Sovereign had. that first talk with Sovereign is still one of the best reveals and so creepy. I think rather than end it fully with a suicide mission we do have some reapers come through. now you've stopped most of them but there's some here now and rather than end it with a fight of the human reaper end it with fights of the actual reapers. like maybe they've slipped through and gone off and no one knows when they're about to attack but they are here now. which then you have them start the attack on the batarian sector and Shep going to save them and failing and blowing up the relay to stall again. not have that as a DLC though, I'm still salty about that. but that's where the game ends, they're actually in the galaxy and have done some destruction and for all Sheps attempts they failed in their own way. ME2 per the arrival as the actual end is just bittersweet so keep it on that note to lead into ME3.

[art-question-mark]

creators thoughts on each episode of belliveau so far: episode 1

(because i’m in a one person fandom with myself and i WILL be adding as much content as i want to it)

this episode had like four different versions before i finally settled on what you see now. except what ended up being published was drawn AFTER episode 4 was finished which is why the style changes wildly between the first three episodes… it bugs me but not enough to redo them again

originally, there was a shot to the san francisco skyline…i didn’t feel like drawing that so it got cut

if you zoom into the background of the first shot of stefán, you might find a little easter egg :)

stefán is so pretentious. who pulls out their full name the first time you meet someone? “stefán edwards-belliveau” man what😭

eliza just casually pulling a gun on him the first time they meet was one of the very first things i came up with for the comic as a whole!! it lives on forever

everyone being like “why do you always use butterflies in everything” and me not being able to answer that it was his calling card for SO LONG was so funny

someone commented about this on webtoon, but the “123 Anywhere Street” on the bakery receipt was because i forgot to change the address when i made the graphic😭 i had a legit address but it didn’t get changed, so it doesn’t mean anything now

“my dear detective” SOB

the hand shake panel my belothed

the FILE. remember that, remember it👁️👁️

the panel where he’s like “but this is all your choice” is such a silly stef panel i love him

that’s it…tune in next time for the next episode

the comic

[hazbinned]

"Why?" Val whined, still heaving sobs. "I WANT you to! I'd hurt me! I'd hurt me bad!"

With an offer like that, he'd damage him. He'd hit him, and then he'd make the rest of the night so traumatizing for him that that first act of violence would feel like a hug. He'd humiliate him. He'd clip his wings— literally, metaphorically.

There would be no possible outcome in which he forgot what he had done to him.

Angel, though... true to his name... had reached out not to slap him, but to cup his face. To hold his hand as it hung there, limp against his frame, with gentle fingers and a saint's kindness.

Why, Valentino would never know. He didn't deserve it. Had he driven his tendrils so deeply into Angel's soul, into the spider's very psyche, that it was impossible for him to want anything but the best for his sovereign Overlord? His owner, his pimp? That was messed up. That was the goal, but it was twisted. It was wrong.

Valentino squeezed his eyes shut, and leaned heavily into the palm that embraced his cheek, hot with shame over the sorry nature of this whole thing and mourning the fact that he could not stop it. He was at a complete loss of control, and felt idiotic and base. Val couldn't change anything.

He was pleading not with Angel, but with history.

The request, though-- it lingered. Angel wanted to talk to him. Angel didn't want to hurt him. Val, however, didn't want to talk. Talking was frightening. Talking was to rip himself open at his ribcage, and show his friend... his enemy... his lover... and show Angel his heart.

The request lingered, but it lingered in a bad way. It lingered like a ghost. Like residue. Like mold. Could he scrub it away? Or would it fester? If he begged hard enough, could he make Angel change his mind? Val was good at making Angel do things.

Things that Angel didn't want to do.

Angel didn't want to hurt him.

Valentino wanted to be hurt, because being hurt was easier than being honest.

Strawberry-colored tears painted Angel's fur and left trails down Val's own skin, and Valentino sunk his teeth into his lip and forced himself to be quiet. To open his salty, stinging eyes and look not at Angel, but at something.

To keep his promise.

'Anything you want,' he'd said to his star. A guarantee. A bargain. 'You call the shots.' Angel wanted him to talk. To let it all out. To spill his guts upon the gravel.

Angel thought he was being merciful.

Was Vox watching? Was Vox going to hear this, too?

Please, just hurt him.

"I don't know," Val gasped. At last, a sentence. The moth's pink-red eyes flicked up to meet Angel's multicolored ones, but they were glassy. His lids hung heavy. "I d—" He hiccupped. "— Don't know what's happening. I don't! I had a bad day!"

He didn't move, but he somehow looked frail, a feat impossible for someone so tall, so grandiose. Maybe it was his face. Maybe his posture, or the high pitch of his voice.

"Everything was out of control all day, Angie! Nobody was listening to me! Vox isn't answering my calls..." This wasn't what Angel was asking about, but he would get to that. This had to run its course. If Val was going to dig for gold, he had to scrape the dirt away first. The bugs, bones, and sticks.

He had to give Angel the small stuff.

"We had to keep redoing the shoots, a-as you know, and- and my lunch order came back all wrong! There were bell peppers on my burger! And- And the worst part is, Travis didn't even look scared when I... threw the chair at him. He just stared at me like... like he was used to it... or, or bored... like it was MY fault...!"

Valentino resented the way he sounded. It was appalling. Maybe if he went on like this, Angel would want to hit him.

"A-A-Actually, he showed me the order form, and it was my fault! My eyes are so bad, I marked the... wrong thing."

The fingers that were hooked through Angel's tightened round the spider's hand. He leaned forward, and his voice grew louder. Shriller. Valentino was not hyperventilating, but his breaths were shallow.

"How long until everybody realizes there's something wrong with me?" he cried, "Is there even room for an Overlord who's fucking blind? And then—" He was about to go off on another tangent. He wasn't trying to weave a coherent story. He was just trying to belt everything out. "Then I started thinking about us, and you, and— and then I got... I got... it made things worse!"

As watercolor teeth bore deeper into his lip, the briny, disgusting tang of pheromone-laced tears tapped his tongue. Raspy squeaks slid from his throat, and he couldn't stop them, even if they were obscene and he hated them. He was trying to calm himself down. He managed to be quieter— he'd give himself that.

"So I got high," said the pimp, barely more than a whisper.

Owlish eyes blinked at Angel.

"You don't blame me, right? You would too? If your whore was gonna put a bullet in you, or- or worse, you'd get fucking high? I'm not an addict! I don't fucking need it!"

The seconds in which Angel waited for Val to respond to his pleading felt like hours, a liminal void in which Angel was neither dead nor alive. In this stretch of emptiness, pulled taught by tension as time slowed to a near stop, Angel crept closer and closer to the conclusion that this was the end. His captor showed no signs of receding, his disgusting smile too big for his face as pink spit dribbled from his lips, his teeth, his wandering tongue. This was the last thing Angel was ever going to see: the sight of Valentino out of his goddamn mind, grinning and drooling, enormous eyes the colour of mixed blood and spit, cold and dead and barren.

Angel searched them for some semblance of reason, of humanity, but all he was met with was loathing, the vile hostility of a rabid animal. Those eyes swallowed him, his own terrorised reflection captured within them - a lifeless corpse in a pool of blood.

This long moment came to an abrupt end as Angel was smacked hard across the face by Val's gun, the cold metal cracking his cheek with enough force to fracture bone. Stunned into paralysis, the spider was unmoving as his attacker shouted his deranged final words. Words that, even if Angel had not been seeing stars, would not have made a shred of sense to him. It was only as Val threw his body on top of the star that fight or flight overpowered his concussed stupor, his mind snapping into gear and forcing him to thrash wildly.

"Val!" Angel gasped, struggling under the full weight of the moth, "Getoffme, Val, GET OFF! Please, Val, just- please, please don't-"

His mouth spoke for him, his body writhed without his say so, sandwiched between the couch and the man hellbent on his murder. Six hands grasped at Val's clothes, his wings, the cushions - anything he could reach, anything that could save him. His babbling became a choked wheeze as he was crushed under the Overlord, his chest fluttering and failing. His lungs were hollow and his heart thrummed in his throat, erratic and palpable. He could taste blood, feel the cold steel of the revolver shoved into his temple, his eyes squeezed shut against this horrifying reality: Valentino was going to kill him.

Valentino. His boss, his owner, his lover. Valentino, who made Angel who he was, who built him up and adored him, who was so proud of him.

Valentino, with his gun to Angel's head, groping at the body he had pinned beneath him, seizing him by the jaw to steady him for what was to come.

It was only when the moth leaned down to kiss him goodbye, the putrid taste of blood-spiked venom like salt in the wound, that Angel finally ceased his struggling.

It's over. It's over. Shut your eyes.

This was it.

This was the end.

Only it wasn't.

With his eyes screwed tight, preparing for the click of the trigger that would end it all, Angel wasn't aware of the sudden switch in Valentino's expression as his actions came screeching to a halt. When the weight of the Overlord lifted from him, he briefly wondered if he was, in fact, dead. If this is what it was, to transcend the afterlife. If the utter nothingness he expected was instead a sensation of relief as his burdens dissipated and he was released from his shackles.

A sudden smack as something clattered to the floor severed the spider from his split-second wondering and his eyes snapped open, the overwhelming panic leaving no space to even consider that he was still alive.

Fading into the focus was the Overlord himself, backed into the corner of the couch as far from Angel as possible, wearing the face of someone horror-stricken, almost confused. A different man entirely from the one who had so viciously pinned Angel down and held a gun to his head.

The gun. It was no longer in Val's hand. Through the thick haze of Angel's mind, it took a moment for him to realise that it was Val hastily discarding the firearm that had awoken him from what could have been a pleasant dream.

Angel barely had time to process his narrow escape, much less the disgusted expression on his attacker's face, before the moth once again lunged for him. Too dazed and fuzzy-headed to make a quick getaway, the film star was snared in the moth's grasp, wordless yelps of terror once again forcing their way out of him. Not again.

No, no, no, I should have run. Why didn't I run? Why didn't I-

...No. This wasn't violent. This was... Val was...

Holding him?

The four arms of the Overlord had captured Angel in a firm, fierce hug, hands running over every inch of him, not so much sensual as it was soothing - at least, that was how Angel gathered it was supposed to feel. Instead, it felt smothering, hardly discernible from the times where the moth's "affection" was lascivious in nature. Valentino was clutching him so tightly that Angel's breath was stolen for the second time that evening, coming in ragged, laboured heaves as the panic and the pressure fought against him.

What is this? What does he want from me?

The first clue to the compromised spider that his boss was indeed crying was the feeling of warm, wet droplets trickling down his back. In the heat of the moment, Angel's robe had ridden down his shoulders and exposed his top half, leaving his bare skin exposed for Val's tears to drip and stain in candy-pink trails. The second clue was the Overlord's heaving breaths, the feeling of which had been masked beneath Angel's own desperate gasping. Valentino was bawling - ugly sobs choked out of him, jarring and frightful. The sobs were accompanied by a barrage of apologies, burbling and barely comprehensible for his weeping. He repeated them like a mantra, like a ritual of some kind, the purpose of which evaded the spider entirely. He repeated them until the words lost all meaning - just shapeless noise in an expansive emptiness.

Val never apologised. Not seriously. Not with any sincerity. And this, well... it wasn't ingenuine. No, it wasn't like anything Angel had ever experienced from him. It didn't compute. This wasn't Val.

Shocked into silence, Angel was rigid as the moth's wings closed around him in a gesture intended to be comforting, but instead he was stifled. Imprisoned within Valentino's many arms and now his wings, there was nowhere for him to go. He was trapped.

There were only two things Angel could be: held hostage in Valentino's unforgiving clutches, or dead on his Penthouse floor.

Then, an anomaly: a clumsy, forced kiss on the forehead.

It was something Valentino had only done once before. Something so trivial, so seemingly insignificant, and yet it haunted Angel like grief. Their first night together, when Val had been so sweet, so doting, even after the the sex had reached a conclusion. That last kiss on the forehead before the pair had fallen asleep in each other's arms played on repeat in Angel's mind when he was lonely, when he craved that kind of affection. He waited for it, he was so patient. Maybe this time. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe he'll do it again.

Finally, he got what he wanted.

And he didn't want it.

Not like this. Not loveless, not terrifying. Not borne out of desperation, or whatever the hell this breakdown stemmed from. This wasn't affection. This was bargaining.

When the Overlord eventually relinquished his hold on Angel, he began to wheedle. Dumbfounded, Angel could only stare stupidly in response to this utterly un-Valentino display. Was this what Angel sounded like, when he begged for forgiveness?

It was sickening.

"Val..." Angel started, flexing the tremoring fist that Val had shaped his hand into and reaching to clasp one of Val's. "I ain't gonna hit ya." Firm, solemn. Not pitying. Val would hate that, especially since Angel knew damn well that whatever was going through Val's mind came from somewhere bad. He didn't know the finer details of the moth's past, and what he had been told he often doubted the legitimacy of, but whatever this was, it was real.

It was like looking in a mirror.

"I don't wanna hurt ya," he croaked, still awash with adrenaline. His mind was blank, his emotions were muted, all but for sheer blind panic. How the fuck was he supposed to comfort someone after having had an attempt on his life not moments before? How was he supposed to comfort the very person who tried to kill him?

Trembling, he reached to cup Val's cheek, rosy tears dripping down his wrist as he did so. He could turn this around. He could calm Val down, he could make this right! "Please, Val. Talk ta me."

He could forget this ever happened.

"Tell me what's goin' on."

[thefearisoneself]

The House (Netflix 2022) [specifically the last like 3-4 minutes of story 2] has broken me so now Tumblr must become home to my philosophical justification for the movie’s themes and ideas

So this is all stuff that I came to after watching the whole movie and listening to the entirety of the ending song, which I think genuinely puts the whole movie into perspective.  the first story we see the house’s creation and we see how Mabel’s family is given it, its furnishings, the lavish fabrics for making things, as well as daily extravagant meals completely for free. They have everything they could possibly want, but as we see through the story it takes everything away from Mabel’s parents and causes the family to become alienated from each other before ultimately they and everyone in it are consumed, only Mabel and Isobel escaping to an unknown fate.  In the second story we see the rat put everything he has into the house to fix it up, he makes it look immaculate, but ultimately he gets nothing out of it until it consumes him and he becomes little better than the bugs he’s been fighting so hard to keep out [up until they take form in the bloated rat bug family squatting in his house] and destroy what little remains of his sanity.  The third story we see Rosa following the same trend, she wants to pour all she has into the house and fixing it up, ignoring both the tenants she cares about and the impending disaster of the flood outside for this dream of something more. It’s only when she lets go of this pursuit and chases after those close to her, investing in them that she is free and achieves the movie’s only seemingly happy ending.  I think all of this is the dramatic throughline of the movie because of the ending song, “A House is a Pile of Bricks” is a pretty chaotic song that has lines like “This house... i dont know what it is” as well as repeating that line, a house is a pile of bricks a lot, and especially with a line like “Come look at my massive collection of bricks” it gives me the impression that the movie is saying something about the nature of extravagance. It doesn’t matter that Mabel’s family were given the house for free with all the furnishings and plentiful meals, it doesnt matter that the rat redid the house so incredibly, it doesnt matter that Rosa was trying to redo the house to restore it in the apocalypse, a house is nothing but a shell for things to happen inside of, you need to remember that and forget about what might seem appealling and flashy, Mabel’s father had said they’d be the talk of the town living there, the Rat thought his efforts would be enough to impress people to buy it, Rosa thought she could attract better tenants, but ultimately none of them were right and none of them were happy, because the house is just a pile of bricks, no matter what you do to it. 

[amethystblack]

hello~! i'm trying to learn programming and heard that cass is self taught. that's such an inspiration and i would love to hear about her journey(and any tips) if she's willing to share! thank you all for making such an inspiring game!

ok so let me tell you a story. (you can skip to the bottom if you just want the tips.)

it was the year 2014 and i was visiting a college. one of the events of the day was a department fair where some professor would tell you all about what their department does. so i went up to the chair of the computer science department and said "hey, so, I think computers are neat, but I hate to code. do y'all have anything for that?"

man, those were the days.

fast forward to 2019. i didn't go into computer science. i still hate coding. however, i'm also now on the development team for this fucking video game. i believe it's called, uh, punkymen "james" reborn. this video game runs on an engine called essentials. many of you haven't heard of this "essentials" before (especially from me), but this engine has a reputation for being- and this is a technical term, just stay with me- "bad". it's okay if you're unfamiliar with the term "bad"- you'll become very familiar with it and its association to the aforementioned engine very soon. now i'm still just a lowly text file editor (a term used by assholes who code to describe people who don't code) making a whole bunch of battle content for postgame (wow e19 has been in development for literally ever). i had made the theme teams and had moved onto battle tower sets. i looked into the text files (lol imagine looking at TEXT files) to see what the base sets were and saw. things. horrible things. awful things. things that no one should ever have to see. brightpowder mons? focus band? quick claw? c'mon no one wants to fight that. and they topped out at gen 3! gen 3 wasn't even real c'mon now. so i was like "okay. i gotta redo all these." so i did! but then i got to a pokemon called "deoxys". now you might be thinking "hey, wasn't that still gen 3?" and you're right! but deoxys was banned. (imagine getting a legendary mon and never being able to use it. don't worry we fixed that*.) i'm going through these pokemon alphabetically, and deoxys was the first pokemon to have different forms! (*for most of them. the really strong ones are still banned. sorry kids.) the text files (i know they're so 16th century but stay with me here) don't allow you to change those! they also don't allow you to change abilities. now that i think about it, that was probably the real reason for what i'm about to say. which is that i went into the code to fix it! so i dug into the scripts. (i'm going to take a quick break to say that no one should ever ever ever use the script editor in rmxp. it's really bad. technology has come a long way since dinosaurs roamed the earth. in fact, just don't use rmxp. it's really bad. anyway *coughs) so this wasn't technically my first foray into coding- i took an online c++ class sophomore year of high school (which was online, so it didn't count) and i took ap computer science my senior year (the teacher didn't know anything about computer science, which meant it was self taught, and yeah uh-huh i definitely did all the homework and worked very hard in that class and did not just fuck off to the library every day to play civilization or some shit)- but it was definitely my first real foray. it ended up not being too complicated- i figured out what lines read the text file and just added a few extra parameters to them. it was enough for it to legally count as coding. i had also offered to fix some bugs. my first bug to fix was related to meloetta transforming in battle (ironically, something that i ended up removing entirely later). i didn't fix it. battle code too complicated. didn't wanna. back to text files thanksbye (somewhere in here i did a little more coding in grad school. it was kinda unnotable and got derailed by this "corona" thing you may have heard about. it was in c++ and was frustrating.)

so i mentioned that rmxp was bad and essentials was bad. one way that this manifested was that the game was really slow. i mean really slow. rmxp was an engine made in 2003. essentials was a scriptset made out of silly string. if you managed to get it to run smoothly then, well, you were probably lying. it ran like shit for everyone on every computer. i fuckin hated that. so two things happened. first was that i dug up an engine called mkxp and it made the game run a bit better. still not great! but better. then someone by the name of perrence dropped into ame's patreon server (hello did you know that ame has a patreon? you probably don't because she never talks about it, but this is MY post and IM talking about it and it's right here) and was like "hey this game is really slow and i have a thing called a profiler that will tell you where it's slow". oh man. this was, like, my calling. my sworn duty. my mission. i went apeshit on those scripts. i am not going to go into detail about what i did, since you can read about it on the dev blog. this post is about me. and not only did i go apeshit on those scripts, i googled the fuck out of them, too. my optimization binge was really a perfect storm of factors: i was very highly motivated, had a script with lots of inefficiencies to experiment on, and had a shitload of free time because it was summer during a pandemic. i think i spent 70-80 hours a week for, like, a month or two, just tinkering around with the scripts. anything i wasn't familiar with (which was really a fair amount of stuff) i looked up online. i tried tons of different ways to improve the code until i got tired of the specific issue i was working on and moved on. this whole experience was important because 1.) it made me realize that, hey, maybe i'm not too bad at coding! and 2.) i really like writing clean, pretty, efficient code. so that was really what got me started. i've done a lot since then! the original optimization blitz wa- oh my god it was two years ago what the fuck-- sorry, sorry. i'm ok. whew. the original optimization blitz was (*breathes) two years ago, and it made me comfortable enough with the scripts that whenever i found an issue that annoyed the hell out of me, i could just get rid of it. and i've done that a lot since then! (there'll be another coding post soon, trust)

i, uh, it's been almost an hour and a half.

oops!

so i'll just put in a few general tips:

- coding classes suck and you shouldn't take them (or, at least, nothing beyond the basics) anything you can learn about coding from a class you can learn on the internet. there are tons of tutorials online for general knowledge. even beyond that, if you have a more niche/specific question (hey is there a speed difference between a case statement and a conditional) there's probably a bunch of other people who have also wondered that and one one of them has almost certainly done so on a message board. there's lots of information out there if you're searching for it. which...

- coding class assignments suck and you should avoid them there is not a single person in the universe who has gotten passionate about homework. the only exception to this is when an assignment goes beyond just being homework. part of why i got so into my work was because it wasn't just work- my efforts resulted in a meaningful difference that i could visibly see (granted, i was seeing it in an FPS counter, but that's not nothing!). if you can find something that you can tinker around with and have an enjoyable time doing so, it'll be far better for you than a stupid c++ class. which...

- c++ sucks and you should avoid it ok this isn't actually that true, i'm just sticking to the format. there are a lot of coding languages. they all have their quirks and specific syntax and different uses, but they all follow the same fundamental rules: all you do with code is use logic to mess with data on a computer. that's basically all it comes down to! you tell a computer "hey, this thing does this, and that thing does that, and if this thing is equal to some other thing it should do something else" and you've coded. so find a coding language that you like. i don't like c++! it has a lot of rigid syntax rules and isn't very flexible. low-level coding languages are like that. ruby is great. i like ruby. you can make some really pretty code with ruby. coding in ruby is a little more like writing prose, where coding in c++ is like writing an instruction manual. high-level languages like that are much more pleasant.

one last thing.

- watch out for assholes! so i don't know what gives, but there are a lot of people in this business with really big egos. this is incredibly anecdotal, but i have a running theory that coding classes teach you that there is a "right" way and a "wrong" way to code and, as a result, there are a lot of comp sci majors with their heads up their asses. there was actually a guy who made fun of someone because "real developers" coded and he just edited text files! please never be like that. there was another guy who dropped into my comment section to chadsplain* how to program to me. that guy is still probably off running relic castle, too. coding's more of an art than a science, and "good code" isn't really a thing. obviously i really care about pretty, optimized code, but the thing about code is that most people aren't going to see it anyway. *chadsplain (v.) an explanation given under the assumption of the superiority of the person offering the explanation.

fuck it's been another half hour. i'm just bitching about people at this point anyway, so i'm going to do everyone a favor and cut myself off.

tldr: find a project you like, in a language you like, and google things you don't know. that's all i did.

[stillebesat]

Christmas Eve (3/5)

Sanders Sides: Janus, Patton, Roman, Virgil Pairings: Past Roceit (was toxic), Familial Moceit (Dad Janus, Son Patton) Blurb: Of all the barriers that Janus expected to have to overcome in order to get his son a pet for Christmas, encountering his Ex, Roman, working in the pet store had never once crossed his mind. Fic Type: Christmas!Eve Fic, Past Lovers to Enemies to ??? trope, Dad!Janus, Kid!Patton, MythicalMin!AU, Frogmin!AU Overall Fic Warnings: Past Toxic Relationship Talk, Manipulation/Lying Talk Taglist in Reblog To Catch Up: Part 1 Part 2 

He supposed it was the shock of Roman actually helping him that allowed his Ex to drag him halfway through the store before Janus remembered he didn’t have to be complacent in this. 

“Seriously.” He rasped, jerking his arm, finding it difficult to focus on anything more than the burning grip of Roman’s hand around his wrist. “You don’t have to do this.” 

It sounded so flimsy soo--so trite. So insincere. Even to his own ears. Roman had to be dissecting his words and tone even now, searching for the trick--the manipulation he had used as easily as a fish breathed water all throughout his--well his entire life, even if Roman had only experienced it first hand for a couple of years during college. 

With that sort of bad history between them...of all the possibilities that had flashed through his mind when he and Roman had made eye contact...having him actually help them had never--well it had--briefly. Very very briefly. Crossed his mind. But it had been a fool’s hope. Not when their relationship had ended more explosively than the grand finale of a firework show.

“I--” He swallowed trying again as he adjusted Pattey’s weight on his hip. This wasn’t at all how he’d pictured them meeting again. He wasn’t ready for this. “We really can just leave. He’ll understand.” His son knew all too well about his history with the Prince even if it was just through bedtime stories. “You don’t have to--”

“Shut up, Dragon Witch.” Roman growled, tugging him around a corner. “I don’t want to either. But I’m not heartless.” 

“You’re not.” He agreed. Roman was anything but that. He was good. He’d been the best thing that had happened to him before Patton came into his life, and Janus had taken advantage of that in the worst ways possible, using him and then tossing him away like so much trash without realizing what a treasure Roman actually was. “But you don’t have to force yourself on my--” Janus cut off as a small hand covered his mouth, his son’s bright eyes filled with excitement. 

“Shh, Daddy.” He patted his lips. “You told me if a Prince offers to help you, you let him help! You don’t say no.”

Yes. But he hadn’t meant that to apply to himself! What he’d done--it could be considered unforgivable. No one should be treated how he’d treated Roman--or well, any of his former relationships. It had taken Patton’s birth to get him to...stop. To want to change. To be better. 

Roman had the gall to smirk at him as he stopped in front of a display of cages, letting go of Janus’s wrist so he could fish out a set of keys from his pocket. “Correct, little man. It’s a Prince’s duty to help all those he encounters in distress….even if the fair damsel turns out to be a---.”

“Aaraog!” Patton piped up.

Roman froze, looking nonplussed at the nonsequir. “Aaraog?” 

“You can’t trust them. They’re Evil.” Patton said solemnly before bouncing in Janus’s arms as he stared eagerly into the cages. “Daddy says that even though the Dragon Witch is a jerk, he still occasionally helps the Prince! And so they can’t be meanies to each other all the time like Aaraog sooo if the Prince can help the Dragon Witch then you, Prince--” 

“Roman.” Janus said softly, the name feeling like he was tasting the forbidden fruit as it rolled off his tongue. He looked away as his Ex shot him a dark look. Yah...he didn’t think they were on first name terms anymore, hence why he only ever called the Prince...well Prince. But Pattey had been upset that the Dragon Witch always fought with the Prince and always lost...so he’d told a slightly different story from the usual, using a giant spider as the villain instead. It’d been... a kind of self wish of his. Where he hoped things would eventually...maybe...work out.

“Prince Roman! And my Daddy can be friends today too as you help!”

Ha. That would be the day. He wasn’t a fool enough to believe them rekindling any sort of...friendship...would ever actually happen. Even if he wanted a redo...he was pretty sure he’d burned that bridge and then buried the ashes in a pit a hundred feet deep back in college.

“I--I--don’t think he’s...uh...I’m sure the Dragon Witch can be...nice.” Roman said, rubbing the back of his neck.

And Janus was a platypus. “Liar.” He mumbled. Roman had only ever known his manipulative nice. Not his genuine niceness. How could he? Janus had only learned how to be so after Patton had said his first word. Years after everything had...ended between them. 

“You’re one to talk.” Roman hissed. 

“Yes and?” 

Pattey looked between the two of them, before deciding that comforting his Dad was needed. His little hands squished Janus’s cheeks. “But Daddy isn’t a true Dragon Witch!” He said firmly, maintaining eye contact before he flashed his hundred watt smile, succeeding in melting Janus’s heart once again. “He’s the bestest Daddy in the whole world! Even if he doesn’t think so.” 

Janus flushed. “Liar.” He repeated. He was sure there were plenty of other Dads who were far better than he could ever be.

“Truther!” Patton grinned. “The best best best BEST Daddy!!” 

He shook his head as Roman scoffed, hoping his face wasn’t as red as a tomato--this awkward encounter was only going to get much worse if he didn’t hurry this up. Janus quickly set his son down, pushing him towards the cage his Ex had unlocked. 

“Go pick one you like.” He encouraged, staying crouched to discourage Roman from talking to him even if it did mean his Ex would be hovering over him like the Sword of Damocles. It wasn’t ideal, but it would hopefully keep himself from saying something he would regret and get them kicked out before he could buy a Frogmin for his son.

After all, Roman had to only be helping him on Patton’s behalf. If his kid hadn’t been here he was sure his Ex would have taken one look at him and thrown him right back out, no questions asked. So the sooner they could get out of here the sooner they both could forget this whole encounter. 

Not that Janus would be able to forget. Not when Pattey usually demanded a Prince story for bedtime. 

“Oh!!!” Patton pressed his face against the glass where little multi-colored frog-like humans crouched among the branches inside the cage. “Look at them, Daddy!!! LOOK! FROGMINS!! They’re here! AWWWWWW. Look at their cute little spots!!”

Janus let out a slow breath, the tension in his shoulders easing. Finally. After fifteen stores he could finally make good on his promise to his son.

“Careful. You don’t want to scare them.” Roman said, also kneeling down, keeping Pattey between them as he pointed to the half dozen Frogmins inside. “While they have frog characteristics, it’s easier to think of them as mini people. And some of them can get really scared when a giant face suddenly appears in front of them.”

His son’s eyes went wide. “Noooo. I don’t wanna scare them!” Pattey leaned back, wrapping his arms around himself as he twisted back and forth. “They’re just sooo cool! And so Princely! Cus if you kiss one they can turn large and save the day! Like the stories! But I want mine to remain small, so I’ll be very careful in my kisses. And they can hop and climb walls like--” Patton made a face and Janus had to bite back a smile at his son’s reluctance to say Spiderman. “Like superheros!! And they eat bugs! Like...like!!!....like….spiders.” He shivered. “I don’t like them.” 

Roman tilted his head, amber eyes flashing with understanding. “So you’re looking for a Frogmin to protect you from spiders?” 

Pattey nodded hard enough he looked like a bobble head. “He’ll keep me safe while I sleep!”

Roman chuckled. “A good reason to get a Frogmin. Though not all of them like to eat spiders. Just like some little boys don’t like to eat their vegetables.”

His son grimaced. “But carrots are icky!!”

“And some Frogmins think spiders are icky too.” He said gently, opening a small hatch in the side of the cage where three of the Frogmins had already gathered. “While you can just pick one that you like the look of...you could also come over here and hold out your hands--don’t reach in, but hold out your hands and ask them if any of them would like to come live with you and eat spiders...or well, like to have them as a treat as I’m sure you don’t want to feed them dried ones.” He glanced over to Janus as he spoke.

Ha. No. While he did have some dried spiders waiting at home, there was no way he’d pull out any of the creatures...even dead ones...where his son could see. One meltdown at the first pet store had been enough to convince him why having his Lilypatton see spiders--dead or alive--was a bad idea. 

Janus let out a slow breath as Pattey eagerly moved closer, his small hands held out to the opening. 

“Do you guys like to eat spiders?” He whisper-shouted to the group. “If you do, we have plenty of them at home and I really really REALLY want you to eat ALL of them. Please? Pleeeease.”

And now Roman was going to think they lived in a haunted house or something. Really, it was more of an issue of all the spiders in their backyard instead of inside. 

Janus shook his head, holding up a hand. “I have a variety of other dried insects to choose from at home if the one Pattey picks doesn’t like spiders.” He said, glancing at his Ex before turning his attention back to the cage, watching as more Frogmins crept out of the leaves towards his son. 

Sure, he knew that Pattey wanted the Frogmin mostly for their ability to eat spiders--and their connection to Princes--but he wasn’t a fool to expect that to be the only food source.

Though knowing his luck, whichever one his son picked would be extremely picky and want to eat only the most expensive of the bugs. 

Roman raised an eyebrow. “You already have everything else as well? The cage?” 

Janus rolled his eyes. Nooo he’d just spent months preparing and all day searching for a Frogmin and totally forgot about getting the creature a home to live in. “Yes.”

Roman pursed his lips, an obvious indication that he didn’t like the answer and stood, tilting his head down the aisle to where a variety of cages sat on the shelves. “Show me.”

To Be Continued. Part 4

[mangomochi-yn]

[pretty setters tie your hair]

all of haikyuu’s pretty setters x reader

g. v self indulgent fluff wc. 9-12 bullets/ea

contains. sugawara k., kageyama t., atsumu m., oikawa t., semi e., akaashi k., shirabu k., kenma k.

sugawara

starting with this sweetheart ✨

will use pink or baby blue elastics!!

yknow that one mom that does rad hairstyles but you can literally see the child’s scalp?

yeah thats him

he’ll do like a two half ponies that meet into one big pony

but then you feel like your hairs gonna rip off 💀 (yeah this for sure won’t come off throughout the day)

you don’t have the heart to tell him cause he looks so satisfied and happy with tho so 😔

but bear with it and he’ll give you a sweet smile and kiss to your (now very clean) forehead!!

all in all 8/10 and a hug where you nuzzle his neck (hard enough to loosen some strands hopefully) 😁

kageyama

😬 awkward baby!

very very hesitant when you ask and is for sure like nah no thank u

but a few pouts and puppy eyes and he’ll give 😉

and boy suprise suprise!!

he’s actually decent

pretty good actually 👌

(maybe cause he has a big sis that he might’ve seen tie her hair a few times)

so he would’ve been perfect even but alas... the boy’s awkwardness degrades it a bit

this boy he literally avoids touching your neck for some reason

and ur like wat

so 7/10 dont forget to give him thank you kisses 😘

atsumu

ugh love this man but bitch right of the bat 2/10 and maybe a punch to the face 👊

this boi is the devil i tell ya

“eh? ya can’t even tie yer own hair? lol what a scrub”

“fuc u tsumu it’s supposed to be cute” 😠

so. many. loose. ends.

and you don’t even get how cause hes so harsh??

he accidentally tugs your ear and laughs as he “apologizes”

clowns you so much too sayin your hair strands look fat 😪 (like not thick but fat)

literally you look like a clown in the end

and you didn’t even know you could look that sloppy

oikawa

then we have pretty boi... 🙃

could’ve been a solid 7.5 but bitch

does the u g l i e s t hairstyles

(you should’ve known when he agreed so easily and excitedly)

like boy you really do your own hair so nice but no justice for me?? where is the love..

says he’s “experimenting” 🤦‍♀️

and uses 15 different colored elastics and makes you look like a sprinkler (little did you know he was going for an alien look)

like his ties were actually nice and neat but cause of the ugly hairstyle they end up messy and youre just agshdhshshd

laughs manically the whole time 😑

6/10 and a harsh pinch to the waist (boi even had the auDaciTy to complain when u re-tie it)

semi

this babe 💔

he’s... not very good

but does his best!!

gets a bit frustrated too cause like when a strand falls and he goes to pick it up another that was already in his hand falls and hes like 😠 ??? (that one pout he makes)

(so maybe dont ask him again cause poor thing)

(he ties with his fingers wide open like he tryna toss your head or sumn)

compliments a lot tho so you’re like 🥺 ily

“your hair’s really soft babe” “your shampoo smells good too” ughh big phat uwu busted 💕

takes his time choosing the cutest accessory to make up for how its.. not looking too nice

so 6/10 and his fave tuna rolls cause baby deserves it!!

akaashi

ah. here he is

the perfect one™

basically suga but so much more gentle

no hesitation when you ask him too (mama im in love 🥰)

styles aren’t too intricate unlike suga so theres that

theyre v simple but like he still makes them so nice

and the way he softly threads his fingers as he brushes your hair to untangle them before starting?? 😭

idek what else to say man is perfect just 💍

smiles softly when you turn around to face him

so yes 10/10 and my whole heart forever thanks 🙏

shirabu

ma big brains boy 💜

tough part is to get him to do it

he’ll literally sneer and youre like 🙂 bitch

so bug him some more and he’ll give (or if you pretend to ask someone else lol)

then youre ready for the tugs and pain but actually you’re met with... pure gentleness?

👁👄👁 “r u starting already?”

“uhm yeah duh”

soft touches here and there and you literally melt

(sometimes u think he’s being a lazy tease but nah he just doesn’t wanna hurt u)

sadly though this makes it a bit sloppy but like the experience by itself was just👌

try to ask him to redo it and he’ll just roll his eyes

so 8/10 do not ever try to redo it yourself cause if you do he will never do it again after

kenma

ashdhfjskkl lastly our bby boi!! 🥰

lemme tell u 9/10!!!

baby boi has long hair himself so he will be good!

has perfected the messy but cute and effortless look

(cause that is literally him— effortlessly cute)

only tough part is finding an opportunity to ask him

like he won’t say no but whenever hes gaming (aka 24/7) hes just so 🥺 how do you interrupt that

so ya gotta wait till hes walking back from the bathroom or something!!

and he’ll be like oh okay sure

very nimble and soft movements

though it ends too quick cause boy knows what hes doin already 😔

overall, anytime you get him to do it is a blessing in itself. a literal slice of heaven. so never take it off

a/n. all these boys are all the dream boys just saying and i would gladly sell my soul to have hair my tied by any one of them thanks

[queen-scribbles]

Kaira

I figured Father’s Day would be a good day to let Tel unleashed his Dad Energy, so have the fic where he finally gets to meet Kaira. :D

---

Tel’s glance at the wall chrono showed the same exact time as the last three checks and he dropped onto the couch with a loud, disgruntled huff. His knee started bouncing the second he braced his feet against the low table and he let his head fall back to stare at the ceiling.

Elara’s face filled his view, upside down, as she leaned over. “Soon, love.”

“Soon isn’t soon enough,” Tel grumbled. He cracked his knuckles and his knee bounced faster.

“I know.” She kissed his forehead, a faint smile curing her lips when she pulled back. “This is about the state I thought you’d be in today,” she said softly, and kissed his nose.

“I see what you’re doing, Els,” Tel murmured, reaching up to rub her arm with one hand.

“Mm, do you?”

He smiled at the mischief in her voice. “You’re tryin’ to distract me by bein’ all... you.”

Elara laughed softly. “Only temporarily. So you don’t go stir-crazy.” She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Is it working?”

“Sort of.” His hand slid up to cup the back of her neck and he craned upward for a more serious kiss. “You know I love you, sweetheart, but I’m also really lookin’ forward to meeting her.”

Elara’s smile widened. “Understandable.” She kissed his forehead again, then circled the couch to sit next to him. “I’m glad you’re so looking forward to it, dearest. According to Aleksei, Kaira’s been bouncing off the walls and counting down days since we made arrangements.”

“Sounds about right,” Tel said with a chuckle. “She is my daughter, which means enthusiasm is in her blood. And she’s yours, which means orderliness is, as well.”

She laughed and rubbed his arm. “Only time will tell which she gravitates toward more.”

He was just opening his mouth to reply when his comm beeped, followed shortly by the fuzzy blue holo of Hylo grinning ear to ear. “Shuttle on approach, Commander. Thought you’d want to know.”

“You thought right,” Tel said, already pushing off the couch. “Thanks, we’ll be right there.” He closed the connection and offered Elara a hand up. “They’re early.”

She smiled. “You’re complaining?”

Tel grinned and started tugging her toward the door. “Hell, no.”

---

Tel, with Elara close behind him, made it down to the hanger bay before the shuttle even docked. It took everything in him to keep from bouncing like an impatient child as he watched the small craft ease into the hanger with a near-perfect landing. Elara interlaced her fingers with his and he held tight.

The shuttle’s small size meant it held no more than four or five passengers, so at least it wouldn’t be a long wait for the anticipated parties--

The door was barely open when a short, dark-haired figure came streaking down the ramp and darted across the tarmac. She skidded to a halt in front of Tel and surveyed him with eager curiosity. (An inspection that mattered more to him than any drill instructor or CO’s ever had.) 

“You’re my dad?” she asked, shoving hair out of her eyes, back toward her slipping-loose ponytail.

Tel went to one knee, putting them almost eye-level(she was tall for her age). “That’s me-”

Kaira barely let him get the words out before she flung her arms around his neck in a ferociously tight hug driven by so much enthusiasm it almost knocked him over. Her complete lack of hesitation made his heart swell and he tried in vain to swallow the lump in his throat as he hugged her back.

“Mom’s told me all about you,” she said, pulling back just enough to grin at him, displaying the gaps from three lost baby teeth.

“There’s a scary thought,” Tel joked, voice rough, and shot Elara a smirk.

She rolled her eyes and lightly bopped the back of his head. “I promise I painted you in a flattering light, dearest. Hence her excitement.”

“Good point,” Tel relented, and Elara smiled.

“Now” --she turned to Kaira, arms held out-- “do I get one of those hugs as well, darling?”

“Oh. Yeah!” Kaira released her grip on Tel and pivoted to wrap an almost as enthusiastic hug around her mother’s waist. “Missed you, Mom.”

Tel pushed to his feet and turned to the other figure, who had followed Kaira down the ramp and been watching the meeting/reunion with a quiet smile.  “Aleksei, good to see you.”

“You as well.” Aleksei grasped the hand Tel held out to shake, his smile turning wry as he nodded at their joined hands. “And with no barriers this time.”

Tel laughed as they released the handshake. “Yeah, Elara told me you managed to earn the brass’ trust.” The scarring Elara had mentioned was obvious as well; up the right side of Aleksei’s neck and climbing over his jaw to stop just shy of his cheekbone, a small divot in his eyebrow, permanently red and rough skin on the back of his hand.

Aleksei chuckled. “Yes, though I do wish it had taken slightly less than getting myself blown up to do so.”

Tel snorted. “Word of warning; they only give you medals for the first couple times you do that. Then it’s more likely they’ll grouse about your medical expenses than commend your braver-- Ow!” He laughed and rubbed his arm where Elara had whacked him.

“Don’t be encouraging my brother to follow in your footsteps, dearest,” she admonished, fighting a smile. “Worrying about one of you is quite enough.”

“I was warning him not to, Els,” Tel protested.

“And he made a very compelling case,” Aleksei chipped in.

“Thank you.” Tel gave his arm another exaggerated rub. “Now, can I spend some more time with Kaira without being assaulted, please?”

“Oh, very well,” Elara said with feigned reluctance, letting her arm slip from Kaira’s shoulders. “I’m certain Aleksei and I will find something to discuss. You two have fun, and don’t cause trouble.”

“I wasn’t gonna,” Kaira protested, looking offended at the warning.

“I was talking to your father,” Elara said, smiling as she shot Tel a meaningful look.

“Oh, fine,” he sighed, grinning. “I’ll have to come up with a different father-daughter bonding activity.”

Elara rolled her eyes and laughed, then moved to talk to her brother.

“Do you like causin’ trouble?” Kaira asked as they headed through the base toward the elevator.

“Yeah,” Tel admitted with a laugh, examining the narrow braid around her ponytail. It currently appeared to be the only thing holding it in place. “But it has to be the right kind of trouble, in the right place, to be the most fun. We’ll manage some while you’re here, but for now let’s listen to Mom, huh?”

“Okay.” Kaira nodded, furthering the precarious state of her ponytail. “Mom’s smart.”

“Very,” Tel agreed, grinning.

“Can you tell me stories about her?” Kaira asked as they rode the elevator up to the base entrance. “Mom’s told me a lot about you, but not really about her.”

Of course not, that would be bragging, he thought glibly. ��Sure thing, kiddo. One condition: for every story about your mom being awesome, I wanna learn somethin’ about you back. It can be somethin’ little,” he clarified when her nose scrunched. “Like your favorite color or ice cream flavor, or stuff you like to do with your best friend, that kinda thing. Deal?”

“Deal,” Kaira said with a grin wide enough to show off her missing teeth again as they shook on it.

---

They made their way to one of the wide expanses of field and forest that surrounded the base, and spent the next hour or two talking while they looked at the clouds, caught bugs, and (occasionally) climbed things.

Tel told Kaira as many stories about Elara as he could recall(a lot) and was gratified to learn she found her mother every bit as amazing as he did. (”Even when she makes you eat your vegetables?” “I like vegetables. ‘Cept peas. Peas are gross.” “K, I don’t think there’s a kid in the galaxy who likes peas right off the bat.”)

He learned in return that Kaira’s favorite color was purple--and red, she liked them both--she liked Corellian puff-pastries so much she’d once eaten a whole batch and given herself a tummy-ache, her favorite thing was to play spaceships with her friend Elodie, she thought explosions were cool, and she really, really  wanted a pet nexu even though Mom said they were too dangerous.

“Well, I dunno bout a nexu, ‘cause I think your mom has a point there,” Tel said with a laugh, swishing a hand through the tall grass around them, “but we can see about a pet.”

Kaira’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really.” If they had a bit longer til her birthday, he might’ve set that as the deadline, but Elara would--rightly--strangle him for promising something with only three days to discuss it. “I’ll have to talk to your mom, and it’ll sort of depend whether it lives here or on Coruscant with you...”

Her shoulders noticeably drooped. “Okay.”

Even with his limited childcare experience, Tel knew dejection when he saw it. And he had a pretty good guess as to the cause. “What?”

Kaira shrugged, staring at the ground as she yanked up a clump of grass and let the breeze carry it out of her hand. “Nothin’.”

“Kaira.”

She looked up at him with huge, sad brown eyes he didn’t think he’d have the heart to refuse if she asked him for anything. “I just... I thought I was gonna live here now. With you an’ Mom. “

“Ah.” Tel wrapped an arm around her shoulders to pull her into a hug.  “Sweetheart, I would love nothing more than to have you and your mom here every day. But that’s another thing we have to talk about, ‘cause this is a military base. So if someone gets p- mad at me, or the Alliance, they might attack. And I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Coruscant got hurt,” she muttered, dragging her boot heel through the dirt in a clumsy line. “A whole bunch.”

Tel laughed and rubbed her arm. “That is a very good point, sweetheart. Like I said, we’ll talk about it, okay?”

“...Okay.” She snuggled closer. “But I still wanna live with you. Even if Uncle Lesky’s really cool.”

“Noted,” Tel smiled and ruffled her hair. The ponytail had fallen out five minutes into their adventure and he hadn’t bothered to help her redo it.

They sat for a moment in silence, then Kaira pulled away and sat back on her knees. “Dad?”

That damn lump was back(and would be, he suspected, every time she called him that for the foreseeable future). “Yeah, K?”

She cocked her head, frowning slightly as she studied his face. “What happ’ned to your eye?”

He snorted a laugh and reached up to tap the cybernetic patch. “Oh, I got that a long time ago, sweetheart. Back when I first became a soldier, before I even met your mom-”

“‘Cause she’d’a fixed it?”

Tel laughed even louder and hugged her again. He wondered if Elara’s ears were burning wherever she and Aleksei were. Best damn medic in the galaxy. “I’ll bet she could’ve. Anyway, me and my squad were scouting, and we stumbled on a group of bad guys we didn’t think would be there. I put myself between my squad and the incoming fire, part of that incoming fire was a rocket, and ” --he gestured at the eyepatch, the implant that curved around it, and the general scarring on the left side of his face. (He didn’t mention all the shrapnel they’d had to pull from his chest, stomach, arm; she was six and the kolto had healed all that with nary a scar.)

“Wow.” Kaira leaned closer and ran her fingers over the cybernetics that curved around his eye socket. “Does it still hurt?”

“No. Hasn’t for a long time,” he assured her, then grinned. “Now it just looks cool. Though it does mean I can’t really wink.”

She giggled and sat back next to him. “But winking’s fun.”

“That it is. You’ll just hafta do it for me.”

Another giggle. “Okay.” She wiggled closer, resting her head on his shoulder as they looked out over Odessen’s forests. “’M glad I finally got to meet you, Dad.”

His grin widened until his face hurt, even as emotion prickled in his good eye.  “Me, too, sweetheart. You’re pretty awesome.”

Kaira tipped her head back to smile at him. “So’re you.”

Those two words were worth more than every commendation he’d ever won combined. “Thanks, K. “ He kissed her forehead, tucked wayward black hair behind her ears. “Think we should head back? Find Mom and Uncle Aleksei?”

“Yeah, prob’ly a good idea,” Kaira agreed, though she sounded more than a tad reluctant.

“We can keep hanging out,” Tel promised. “We’ll just be addin’ them to the fun.”

She smiled brightly and jumped to her feet. “Okay.”

Tel matched the smile, pleased both that he’d guessed what bothered her about the suggestion and that she wanted to spend more time with him. “Alright, let’s go.”

They’d only been walking a few minutes when Kaira gave a dramatic groan. “It’s so farrrrr.”

“Yeah, we did cover a lot of ground.” Tel had not been paying attention to the distance they’d ranged and did have to admit, for a six year old, it would be a long trek back.”Want a lift?”

Her face screwed into a pout. “M notta baby, Dad.”

“Not what I meant,” he laughed, and crouched down on one knee. “Piggyback?”

The pout disappeared into an eye-crinkling grin. “YES!” Kaira bellowed as she scrambled to wrap her arms around his neck and legs around his waist. She was lighter than she looked with her height, but still plenty strong enough to strangle him.

“Easy, kiddo,” Tel laughed, tugging her wrist so she’d loosen her grip. “I’ll hold you up, don’t be tryin’ to kill me.”

“Sorry.” Kaira shifted to instead hold fistfuls of his shirt. “Go, go, go!”

They were both laughing as they set out for the Alliance base, where Elara greeted them each with a kiss on the cheek before helping Kaira down so they could go get lunch.

As a family.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: The Town Where Everyone Was Nice! or Scrooge Is the Lindburgh Baby

Saludos Amigos! The Ride of the Three Cablleros has at long last come to the last stop before it��s final phase. It’s been a hell of a ride so far: Our boys have tried to woo some ladies, performed some black magic, had some sort of drug trip, dealt with Donald’s ego, helped goofy ungoofy himself...

“SEASONS CHANGE, TIMES CHANGE BUT UNGOOFY IS FOREVER AND ALWAYS HE IS ALWAYS THERE” ... I created this magificent stalion.. kinda I think he came out of a styigan hole in the universe from the darkest dark in the dark of the dark... I can’t be sure. Our heroes fought an arrogant prince, found a lost city and helped donald get his smile back. All culminating in our heroes going to Spain for some reason, soundtracking Goofy’s win against Horace in Flamico Dancing, somehow that wasn’t a Covid induced fever dream I had but the actual premise of the episode, and then played some soccer with Daisy’s cousin and Pancho Pete. All in all we’ve had some good times getting here and I feel acomplished having made it this far. While I’ve still got quite a ways to go, getting this far means I really made something.. and not just the 80 something dollars it took to comission all of this. And I genuinely just want to thank all of you for reading these as these have easily been some of my most popular reviews and @weirdkev27​ for comissioning all of this. It’s been easily one of my faviorite projects so far and I look forward to the final leg of it soon. For now though we have one last adventure before the biggest one starts.  But before we can dive into it you probably have a few questions, and since I don’t really need to give Ducktales 2017 a lavish introduction as unlike most stuff so far this show is well and familiar: it’s what got me started reviewing animation on this blog, it’s what got me into the duck community as a full member, and it’s what caught Kev’s attention leading to this entire series. So I have time to answer the questions your probably asking and if your not.. well here’s the answers anyway Wait aren’t you going to cover Louie’s Eleven?: Nope. While I love that episode, I already did a full review of it earlier this year.  I saw no reason to completely and utterly redo the entire thing when my opinions toward the episode haven’t really changed. That being said since I didn’t touch on the boys characterizations in that one too much and since I do want this retrospective to be comprehensive, I will talk about Panchito And Jose’s characterization there briefly during this review at the right time as a compromise. 

Wait why isn’t THIS the last stop since it came out AFTER Legend of the Three Cablleros: Simple.. it felt unsatsfying to both me and kev to end on this one. While their apperance here IS a good one and a big deal... it’s also ANOTHER guest apperance. It’s something I didn’t quite realize for now but outside of the movie.. every apperance after is them guest starring in another series. Their aperances in Don Rosa’s Duck Comics, while awesome and treating them with proper respect, were still them showing up to shake up Donald’s stories and formulas. They were LITERAL guest stars in House of Mouse, and Roadster Racers was entirely just “let’s shove them in there because we can”. Legend.. is their story. Their moment in the sun after too damn long with all three as main characters and while being a lead is normal for donald, Jose and Panchito really HAVEN’T had that shot outside of their home countries. To be the hero of their own fully realized epic adventure. So it just fits best to have the road lead there instead of have all that happen.. then go back to yet another guest appearance. The other major factor.. is that while Legend came out around the same time as ducktales, to the point many compared and contrast both shows treatment of Donald, this episode is what most non-latin american audiences saw first as it took Disney WAY too damn long to air the series over here.. i.e. until Disney Plus launched, finding it somewhere online was the only option despite the series being produced in america with some really big american names voice acting wise. Point is this came first to some people, so i’m using that as a flimsy excuse to put it ahead so we get a better finale. 

Now all that’s settled, let’s dive into “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!” and see what one of the best duck propeties period makes of our boys. 

We open in a remote town in Brazil. It’s the Festival of the Flower.. which is a bit off to me. While it DOES kind of make plot sense.. the problem is the lure was written to Panchito and Jose.. Jose whose a brazil native and could’ve possibly been supscious that a tourist invintation wasn’t in Brazilian Portugese, the countries national language and something I specifically researched just to see what it’d be called. For the record it’d be O Festival da Flor acording to google translate, which still sounds neat, Webby could’ve still said it means festival of the flower. It just feels like a missed opportunity from a creative team that’s taken such pains to make the series feel as authentic as possible and clearly put a lot of hard work and research into making each location feel like it’s real world counterpart.  But it’s a minor thing and we soon get our two plots for the episode: Our B Plot.. is that Dewey can’t stay the fuck off his phone and is taking pictures rather than actually getting experiences with Louie enabling him, while Webby gets increasingly frustrated at Dewey not actually botherting to experince this unique and obscure culture. We’ll get back to this in a bit. 

Our main plot naturally concerns the reason our heroes are here: Donald is reuniting with The Cabs, who in this continuity are his old College friends who Scrooge hates due to having to listen to them practice constnatly and tells the kids they’d hate it worse than his playing the bagpipes. 

Bagpipes are objectively the worst insterument on earth. They are loud, unharmonic and generally just obnoxious. I do respect how important they are to Scotland, home of David Tennant, Grant Morrision and .. Alan Cumming and James Macavoy? Wait what? that’s awesome! Point is Scotland is great but I do not like the bagpipes except when Bugs Bunnny is murdering them. Honestly Donald’s college band was probably more like this. Nothing bad at all just mildly pathetic and mildly pathetic is what got Donald a girlfriend, so it’s not a  bad look

That brings me to another point: Scrooge is pretty obnoxious in this episode. It seems like his sole reason for coming was to bitch about Donald’s old college band. He could’ve just sent them a stern letter like the pros at being a cranky old geezer do. 

I do GET why he’s here as there are some REALLY damn funny bits with him in the a-plot, it just feels like they could’ve justified it better. But on to better things as Jose and Panchito enter the scene after Scrooge claims they “weren’t so cool”.. with Panchito diving from a plane and drifting down on his umbrella

And Panchito shows up dramatically playing the guitar. A truly awesome and worthy intro to our boys. So let’s talk about them in this series. Honestly the two really aren’t that diffrent from usual, though Jose’s lady chasing is given to Panchito, his footloose world traveling lifestyle remains in tact as does his genuine charm while Panchito remains the peppy one, just with his outbursts gone as his guns are replaced with cell phones.. 

Yeah while I do get replacing the pistols because let’s face it the mexican of the group being a gun nut was pretty damn unfortunate, though Don Rosa toned it down and justifed it well, and frankly guns are a hard no for family shows these days unless their laser guns so replacing them I get. But instead of I dunno giving him knives or turning his holsters into pouches carrying his stuff.. he just has two Cell Phones. It’s weird. It dosen’t really make sense other than for him putting on a big shot act and even big stars probably don’t have two phones on them at all times. It’s just a VERY weird update that makes not a whole lot of logical sense and I belivie is thankfully gone by the next ep. The only real issue I have is the two just sorta blend together personality wise instead of being distinct like usual, but that’s also happened in other apperances, so it’s not exactly a new or unique problem, and the two’s voice actors do a great job making both feel like they should. 

Speaking of which let’s just go ahead and discuss that elephant in the room: The Cabs were recast for the first time in ages, which didn’t sit well with friends of legend as Eric Bauza, who’d replaced rob Paulsen, was himself replaced by Arturo Del Puerto and Bernado Del Paulo replaced Jamie Camil and Carlos Aquazi as Panchito. And I have mixed opinons on this one: Replacing Eric was a no brainer: while he’s a terrific voice actor.. he’s not brazilian and the crew of Ducktales 2017 perfer to cast actors who match their characters backgrounds, which again adds to the authenicty of it’s globetrotting and scope. They don’t ALWAYS, Cree Summer isn’t, as far as I know, Egyptian and Catherine Tate, while wonderful, isn’t italian. But for the most part it adds a nice flavor to things and frankly I personally prefer it when Jose is voiced by an actual brazilian man. So that change i’m fine with. Not using Camil though... I do not get. Jamie Camil is a throughly talented voice actor, having done TONS of great work lately , vocing Globgor for star vs and not getting nearly enough screen time as the loveable demon dad, and stealing the show as Don Carnage earlier in the series. While that episode is one of the series weakest, he’s still easily the best part of it and I hope Carnage shows up one last time before the finale. 

So it really makes.. no sense to me to replace him. Not only is camil a bigger named actor, but he was already on the show and even the defense of “well they don’t want actors playing multiple rolls” ended up utterly destroyed by the end of the season, as Christ Dimatopolus not only reprised Storkules, but went on to play Drake and Melon, and picked up a FOURTH role in season 3 as Hades. My point is the show has no real issue with doubling up on voice rolls, so I scratch my head as to why Camil wasn’t given this part too despite being the obvious choice. Del Paulo isn’t a bad actor and is great in the role.. I just scratch my head why he was needed when a perfect actor for the part was right there and already had experince with the character. 

I do think Puerto and Paulo are terrific and do the characters justice, issues with Paulo being there at all aside, and they do a great job and more than earned the roles and I don’t think the mass critcisim of this version of the characters is entirely warranted.. for this episode. This episode while they can meld into each other... that happens in most of their apperances anyway, so it’s not unusual or unique to this series. I will say however that the way their written in their next apperance is utter garbage: they aren’t really given any chances to be distinct, are basically written as one person even worse .. and that one person is a greedy asshole who takes advantage of their friend and never apologizes. I do get why people did not like them in that episode. I do think it has no baring on this one and people should stop bashing these versions as a whole for one terrible episode, especially when Louie has been written pretty badly for the bulk of season 3, yet is still not a bad character. It’s unfair to paint the series as painting them soley as selfish jackasses when it didn’t at first and hopefully wont’ again when they presumibly show up for the finale’s big avengers endgame sequence I hope is coming. For now they aren’t bad and the colors are crisp and the animation nice and bouncy on our boys. 

Since we have two plots here, I’m just going to go ahead and split em since honestly, the b plot dosen’t really impact the a-plot until really the last minute and is basically happening right along side it and in concert with it. Sooooo... 

The Trite B-Plot: As you can probably gather I didn’t really like this one. It’s basically 5-7 minutes of me wanting to punch a child in the face. Or rather Webby wanting to have fun experinces and actually take in the culture while in town, while Dewey just wants to take pictures of everything, make it seem like he did stuff, and generally is obnoxious to webby while Louie supports him wholeheartdly. That last part is really one of the few good parts of the plot as it’s nice for one of the brothers plots to NOT be about them being in conflict or squabbling but just hanging out and having some fun, doubly so since i’ve had to spend a season watching Louie , outside of a few good exceptions be an absolute dick to Huey and also Dewey once. It’s nice to just see him and Dewey bond over a shared intrest: posting shit online and getting good photos. 

And it’s not without GOOD gags: Dewey’s obnoxious captions at one point while Webby continually looses her shit, Louie continually saying “that’s so wise” at Dewey’s bullshit philosphies, Webby’s continued annoyance is delivered great by Kate as always, and the best bit is Webby, utterly pissed at Dewey for refusing to eat Local Cuisine, wolfing down the entire fucking plate, all the dumplings in her mouth at once while Dewey, naturally, takes a picture. Otherwise this is just.. grating. It’s utterly grating to watch Webby GENUINELY try hard to absorb the local culture and really enjoy a once in a life time experince.. while Dewey jackasses about and basically acts like she’s wrong for it and treats his best friend like garbage. Just because i’ts nice it’s not Louie this time doesen’t make one of the kids being a dick without any nuance or character stuff suddenly great. It’s just tiresome. 

And SOMEHOW , despite already not liking it the first time watching the episode.. it’s even WORSE now afterlast years. No not because I watched it while having to put up with Coronoavirus induced Chills, but because another show did this plot 100 times better: Close Enough. One of the best new shows of the year, Close Enough had a plot where exes Bridget and Alex, aka yet aother great set of Kimiko Glenn and Jason Mantzokus characters, went on vacation together, but their attempts to have some ex sex fell flat due to longstanding issues we found about through this plot: Bridget has a bad habit of doing what Dewey did, focusing way more on her social than actually enjoying her vacatoin while Alex has a bad habit of befreinding random weirdos who agree with his worldview. Keep in mind this is the same worldview that spent an afternoon connecting garfield to jesus while pissing in a jug for some reason. Point instead of a character just being a smug dick, it ties into actual character flaws that helped us not only learn more about them but lead to a really heartwarming scene where the two admit they jsut can’t sleep together casually with allt heir baggage, and that they still have a lot to sort out. Before given the show their on having their friends show up from the a plot and all of them getting kidnapped by a robot because Josh skipped a bunch of ads and a 5 year old has to solve some issues and prove she’s not dumb to blow up said robot. What i’m saying is it’s even more insufferable watching this after seeing it done a thousand times better, and fucking watch Close Enough. Thankfully unlike Inifnity Train it’s not reliant on you to get a second season as it’s been renewed proving that even in a cluster fuck like 2020 miracles can happen, but it’d still be nice for it to get more fans during the presumably long wait for Season 2. Let’s move past this, i’ll get to the plot relevant bit for the climax when we get to the climax, and onto the reason your all here. 

The Main Event: A Life Not Wasted

Okay onto the actual plot. Rewinding quite a bit, the boys meet our boys, and we get some good bits. The boys cool new handshake leaves Huey wanting one only for Louie to simply lick his hand. See this is Louie dickery I can get behind because what did Huey expect? I do take comfort in the fact he has actual friends now who will likely do a handshake, fenton very much included. I’m sure Gyro didn’t want one either so he’s had plenty of time to workshop. We also find out one of the boys was dropped as an egg and well.. given Dewey opens and closes his eyes one at a time for this one moment, the ohter triplets just sorta.. silently agre it’s Dewey. IT does explain why he thought Champ Popular would get over..that and Santa Claus is Going to Highschool being his favorite movie. 

So both Jose and Panchito claim to be sucessful: Jose being a sucessful jetsetter and trendsetter, and Panchito being a world famous pop star, never stop stopping. So Donald being donald panics and runs into a alley where Scrooge and Huey join him.  Donald is fully convinced he’s wasted his life and has nothing to show for it. Huey rightfully points out he raised three wonderful children and isn’t that enough? Naturally given Donald clearly has some issues related to this subject and Scrooge has develoved into old man yells at cloud, he agrees it’s not important as money. So Huey decides to help his uncle because he’s the good son.. and because the two are easily the most alike out of Donald and his Kids. It’s something I haven’t really been able to bring up before so I was delighted to realize i could now: Besides the obvious people bring up constnatly, I.e. Huey having inhereted the most of the family rage out of his brothers, there’s the fact both are kind of obessive, both tend ot spiral into panic when a situation goes wrong, both are awkward with women, both are frequently ignored or taken for granted by those around them, and both are awkward adorable dorks who I will give my life to protect. It’s why I think Huey has the best relationship with his uncle of the bunch: He’s the only one who at least TRIES to empahtize with him and support him. While the other two do love him, and Webby of course likely has an insanne and horrifying shrine of him, and scrooge and probably della now in her closet.. and of course lena but that’s less out of hero worship and more out of her insane, over the top, very webby version of love. Point is, he’s the one who genuinely sees his uncle as a person who needs help and love. This was best demonstrated in the scene at the bank back in “Who Is Gizmoduck” as Huey tries to get his uncle a loan using the guidebook and is there soley to help the guy and taking time out of his day to visit the bank. Let’s face it though this is huey: he probably loves visiting the bank. They just got new pens! So Huey decides to put his improv badge to good use... so far the only use he’s gotten is Louie laughing at the fact he actually earned an improv badge and urges donald to simply ACT like he’s sucessful. Scrooge balks at this, because as Wonder Woman 1984 taught us nothing good comes from lies.. or from  banging your ghost boyfriend while he’s possessing someone’s body without said body’s consent and plan to fully live out the rest of your lives togehter without ever considering how fucked up this is. I will..deal with that movie ... soon. But he soon changes his turn and agrees to go along with it to avoid Jose getting upset and them having to pay for everything. 

So Huey suggest Donald keep the lie small, but belivable. Given the law of sitcoms when it comes to anyone saying that and the fact this is Donald, he instead panics and lies that he’s taken over McDuck industries and scrooge has gone full abe simpson in the other direction. 

Which is why i’m not enitrely annoyed by Scrooge’s presence: while they don’t even handwave him being here, Scrooge putting on an old man act, and sometimes getting back at donald for it is solid gold the whole damn time and some of David Tennat’s best comedic acting on the show, so it makes up for him being a grumpus.  And while i’m not usually not a fan of liar revealed plots, this one works for me.. mostly because it’s rooted in character. Here Donald is lying.. but because of deep seated neurosis he’s yet to fully tackle. While he loves his boys and is proud of htem every day... it’s very clear Donald hates his life and how it turned out. We got bits of this back in House of the Lucky Gander, with Donald’s first thought upon thinking he’s about to die is “I wasted my life” and feeling entirely like a looser. This episode brillinatly builds on that: it shows a Donald who simply feels.. he acomplished nothing. It’s easy to see why as his parents were happy and sucessful at whatever they did from the looks of it and how well taken care of the kids were, his uncle is the richest duck in the world and it’s greatest hero and explorer, his sister is the only one who could rival that record, and his cousin constnatly gets riches and fame handed to him. Donald.. by comparison.. is just a normal guy whose house is in his rich uncle’s pool, who has no job, no partner, and only really the love of his family. He spent his life on adventures he didn’t want to have living int he shadow of someone he grew to resent before the Spear of Selene incident blew things up for a decade. And then when he was free instead of becoming a big sucess... he blew the rest of it being overprotective of his boys and bouncing from dead end job to dead end job. It’s easy to see why he sees himself as a failure despite having lived a good life: compared to everyone else, even his sister who mooned herself, in his life.. he feelsd far behind. And as someone whose felt they were far behind countless times and only now is realizing they haven’t and it’s a marathoon ot a sprint I naturally relate. So his wanting to play big shot for just ONE day, to be the big hero like scrooge, teo be a sucess for five minutes with his best friends.. it’s understandable and relatable. 

So Donald continues the ruse, leading to a great bit where the cabs all try to avoid picking up the check “WE can’t all keep whistling nonchalantly” before Scrooge is forced to give Donald the money to in the best joke of the episode.. and I mean FORCED. He and donald get into a fight with their hands under the table and Huey eventually gets fed up with that and has to BITE his uncle’s hand just to get him to do what he shoudl’ve done ruse or no given he’s the richest person there. The reason I take special offense to this.. is that my fairly wealthy grandpa and grandma, my mom’s dad and his wife for the record, would buy us dinner EVERY TIME they were near town, a nice steak dinner with whatever we wanted to most of the time. They knew we couldn’t afford such luxury half the time and wanted to treat us and spend time with us. Since my grandpa’s passing, my Grandma and her New Husband have continued the tradition since then, if obviously not this year for damn obvious reasons, thought hey sent us a really nice dinner to cook for christmas in the same spirit. What i’m saying is when you know your relatives arne’t as stacked as you , you pay for the fucking meal especially since i’ts a special occasion, and even for someone as stingy as scrooge, it comes off as a dick move. 

We then get the best scene with the episode, just inching out the climax as the three simply talk, remince on old times, have a good rib like old friends would. It feels natural and wonderful to watch and gets even better when the three hear the radio and end up having an impromptu dance and musical number. Also Jose’s umbrella is also a flute somehow. 

Point is the boys have a good time and Donald gets carried away, with the boys planning a world tour. Huey, while happy to endulge his uncle in a badly needded ego boost, isn’t happy to endulge this and scrooge is unwilling ot pay, more resonably this time. Huey eventually talks him out of being a moron and tells him he has to tell the honest truth and while that dosen’t work this does. 

So as Donald goes to face the music, we have come to our climax. Phrasing. 

The Finale: Ay Carumba

So we come to our finale. Backing up a scene or too to the B-Plot, webby is interviewing a local about the festival when she gets stuck in a loop. So far in the episode we’ve had hints something is up with the people as they go all yellow eyed.. and webby finds out why as she notices the “person” she was interviewing is, in a hilarious and disturbing review.. a horrignly realistic hand puppet.. and upon stealing Louie’s phone, she points out there’s no shots of anyone’s feet.. and the reason why is that the giant flower the feast is about is a mean green mother from outer space and he’s bad. And Webby finding that out’s got him fighting mad.  Webby and the boys naturally run to warn the remaning boy and scrooge and they all run out only to get blocked out of town and captured. Dewey looses his phone inside the plant monster.

In a great joke, Scrooge ended up actually throwing his back out with the old man act, so our heroes are all captured and it’s up to our stars to save the day.  So while his family is in peril, Donald finally comes clean with Jose and Panchito naturally being upset.. for a second before Jose admits he lied to and an irate panchito.. is forced to admit he also lied. Jose is a flight attendant, hopefully he’ll get his own mini series where he accidently murders a dude on disney plus, which is a nice update of his globe trotting ways, as it’s a resonable way for someone with no money to get around the world these days and Panchito is a birthday party muscian. They all however chuckle over this realizing they haven’t come as far as they thought.. and they still have each other. It’s a nice way of modernizing Rosa’s jobs for them and their hard luck lives he set up and I love this. IJt’s just a sweet emotoinal scene that makes donald, and his friends, realize they aren’t faliures and life isn’t just about reaching some arbitrarity goal.. just like Soul taught me aka the actually great movie I watched on Christmas Day.  But since Donald’s family is in peril Jose suggests theys till play the gig.. just like they did ion acapulco thus we get the second best scene of the episode and another worthy rendition of The Three Caballeros as our heroes beat the shit out of the plant, free the kids and the plant straighens out scrooges back. 

It’s beautiful, psycadelic, and utterly awesome. Seroiusly the bright boldend colors are awesome and so’s this sequence. Easily one of the show’s best.. and it’s a show that contiains the greatest scene in television history

So that masterclass concludes with Donald signing.. badly.. and blowing the plant hte fuck up. Our heroes win and head off in the sunchaser. No idea what Launchpad is up to, probably has another ex in the area. Point is our heroes win, Dewey deletes his photos because “If there was no pics it didn’t happen” (So wise) and Donald decides to get the band back together, prompting scrooge to do an animal house on Panchito’s guitar... you.. you know you have to pay for that right? you aren’t a loveable frat man and he wasn’t ‘singing and I gave my love a cherry. Your obligated to get him a new guitar. You know that right?

So with that the episode wraps. This is a pretty good episode. While the subplot is bad and it should feel bad the main plot is emotional, well done and really adds more depth to Donald’s character while giving us a hell of a show with the cabs. The College Band background gives the boys a unique flavor this time around, not musically but in how they know each other and helps set it apart from the countless other reunions. It’s a truly bright, colorful and fun episode with some great gags and great performances. As I said Puerto and Paulo really knock it out of the park as the boys and while I would’ve preferred Jamie Camil, Paulo was still utterly excellent, though Puerto was the clear standout of the two. While their second apparence would be disapointing characterization wise, overall this was a fun introduction to two of disney’s best into it’s best universe and one of Season 2′s Standouts. 

Next Time on the Ride of the Three Cablleros: we begin our massive finale look at The Legend of the Three Cablleros. Donald gets dumped by a nightmare of a person and finds an inhertance, new friends, and some sort of hot adventure god in his new cabana. Good times. Until then goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 

[sixtyeightdays]

Paperwork

i dont think ive seen this idea before but if youve written one like this lmk ☆

background info; mari and adriens identities are revealed to each other already, and this is a bio!dad bruce au, marinette is damians twin sister

--

Paperwork was one thing almost everybody dreaded. More so for the employees of Wayne Enterprises.

Everybody knew that Gotham had villains. Or rogues, as they call themselves.

Unfortunately for the employees, the rogues attacked WE almost every other week, which resulted in the employees having to redo paperwork after situations with maybe the Joker, whether he shot through the paper or stepped on it, or questions with Riddler who throws everything anywhere.

Really, it was a miracle everyone managed to hand in documents punctually, what with them having to ask for extensions or just staying up late to finish it on time.

It was practically a regular occurrence in Gotham. As some people say, you aren't a Gothamite if you haven't been attacked.

So when Scarecrow came to Wayne Enterprises, brandishing a new tranquiliser gun filled with new fear toxin, the workers sighed and did their best to keep all their papers, shoving as many as they could in drawers.

A worker inwardly groaned as one of Scarecrow's goons flipped their table and stepped on a document. That was another 2 hours in the office.

There was a loud cackle that everyone turned to look at.

The French class who came for a tour didn't look scared in the slightest, sitting next to Scarecrow and some goons. Some looked bored, even.

Scarecrow laughed maniacally as he pointed at a blue-haired girl, placing her in a headlock before pointing the tip of the tranq gun at her neck.

To her credit, she didn't look remotely bothered and continued to stare at the blonde boy nearby and blinked.

'For every 5 minutes it takes for the Batboys to come, I'll shoot one pf these pretty French tourists here!'

The girl blinked again, looking to her class this time.

The blonde gave the slighest nod -- almost inperceptible.

'Now, let's--'

He didn't get to finish as the girl blinked again, and the class burst into action.

The girl Scarecrow was holding got kneed in the family jewels and she lifted her leg and kicked him in the face before slipping out of his grip and punched him.

A rather buff boy and multicolored haired girl took down two goons simultaneously, punching them in the face and tackling them.

A pink haired girl stepped on a goon's foot and a boy in a red hoodie elbowed him in the stomach. The boy then sat on the goon's back, shaking his feet leisurely while the pink haired girl swung her fist.

A goon caught her fist, but she smirked and flipped him over her shoulder like it was nothing.

The boy whooped and cheered her on.

A purple haired goth girl and a blonde girl in a pink sundress were backed into a corner before the girl in pink took a --was that a bottle of perfume?-- out if her pocket, spritzing it in the eyes if the incoming goons.

The purple haired girl snarled and swung her foot out, successfully causing the goons around them to fall, then they, too, sat on them and started gossiping.

The other students formed a small circle, with their backs to each other, punching and kicking when necessary while a brunette in glasses cheered everyone on, holding up her phone, recording.

No one noticed a bluenette and blonde slink away.

A minute later, a pigtailed girl clad in red spandex burst in, swinging something in her arm while a blonde in black leather entered, a silver baton in his hands.

'Aw, Bugaboo, did you miss me?'

'Just a little, kitten.'

Their playful banter led to more cheering from the French tourists, especially after the red hero called out that they saw the Ladyblog's livestream and came to help their favorite Parisians.

The French class called them Ladybug and Chat Noir. It wasn't hard to tell who was which superhero.

Ladybug called something about a lucky charm and pulled something from thin air.

It was a black and red paperweight.

Ladybug looked to Chat Noir, who smirked and bashed a goon's face in with the end of his baton.

She grinned, reared her arm back and threw the paperweight.

It hit Scarecrow, who went down again since he was struggling to get up from when the bluenette kicked him in the area where the sun didn't shine.

He groaned as he hit the floor.

By now, everyone was either sitting on a goon, unconscious goons on the floor and a barely conscious Scarecrow on the ground.

The WE employees mentally groaned at the thought of having to redo all the paperwork.

Just then, the Batfam barged into the room, clearly preparing for a fight, Red Hood holding a clear flask of serum, maybe, for the fear toxin.

They stopped short when they realised the situation was already taken care of.

Robin coughed and looked around awkwardly at Ladybug yelling at the masked villain.

'I thought Joker's fashion sense was bad but NO! You came in wearing a SACK over your head!'

Nightwing ran towards Ladybug and hugged her, accidentally kicking Scarecrow's head in the process, effectively knocking him out.

'Bug!'

The French tourists and Chat looked shocked. How did Ladybug know the Gotham vigilantes?

Batman strode forward and handcuffed Scarecrow and the goons, before reaching Ladybug.

Red Robin, however, stood there laughing, clutching his stomach.

'That's what you get for messing with our sister!'

Sister?!

Red Robin seemed to realised what he said as soon as he said it.

The reporter girl gasped.

'Batman, is Ladybug, one of the heroes of Paris, your daughter?'

Batman coughed awkwardly. 'Yes?'

Chat looked to Ladybug and grinned, slightly awestruck, and muttered something along the lines of 'crossover team up!'.

They were interrupted by a loud beeping from Ladybug's earrings and she looked glad to leave her brothers. She hugged the vigilantes -- her brothers and father -- and Chat goodbye before she picked up the fallen paperweight, tossing it up in the air and yelling something.

A swarm of Ladybugs surrounded the building and to the employees' shock and relief, the paperwork looked fine, torn pieces becoming whole again, not a smudge out of place.

She swung her -- was that a yoyo? -- upwards and vaulted out of sight, calling 'Bug Out!'. Chat looked in the direction where she left and opened his mouth, but before he could speak a katana was held at his throat.

'Don't you dare mess with our sister. If for any reason she deems you suitable to court, you are to treat her with kindness and respect. You will not force her into anything she doesn't want to do.' Robin threatened, applying pressure on the katana slightly, enough to cause pain, but not enough to draw blood.

Chat looked like he was going to nod before thinking better of it and squeaking out an okay.

He gave a two fingered salute before using his baton to leave, vaulting onto the rooftop and running.

No one noticed the bluenette and blonde join back the party.

An employee approached Alya.

'Please thank Ladybug for us, she saved us so much trouble of having to redo a whole stack of paperwork!' He clasped Alya's hand and shook it.

'Oh! Okay, yeah sure, no problem!' The employee gave her a smile and went back to his desk.

Everyone soon filtered out and went back to their desks, starting to continue their unfinished paperwork and placing the completed ones in a safe drawer.

The Bats left soon after making sure everyone was okay and the French class continued to walk around and gaped at the rooms ahead.

When Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake entered the room again, each holding a cup of coffee, no one noticed the discrete wink they sent to a certain bluenette, nor did anyone notice the small smile she gave in return.

--

yes in case u havent noticed im bad at writing endings but yeah i hope you liked this small oneshot ♡