#and it also makes sense why i'm so much more invested now that he's back

[fairymonk]

man i really loved dorian 2 seconds into exu and was so valid and right for that

[bloodibambiidoll]

I'm asking waayyy too much BUT ITS THE LAST ONE I PINKY PROMISE( for today. . .)

Anyyywaayyssss, okay so what if weird girl!reader was hanging around n climbing trees or something (bc I do that-) and JJ sees her and he's like "girl wtf r u doing up there" and blah blah blah it's there first time meeting too (it would be fun if rafe sees this and they're not dating yet n he gets a lil jelly hehe)

VERY RANDOM BUT MY HEAD JUST WORKS LIKE THATTT

Ty bb🪽🫀

Omg yes!! This is such a cutie idea!! I actually had this pic saved on her Pinterest board bc she absolutely climbs trees. Sometimes she just climbs a little too high… Jealous!Rafe, fluff, lovesick!Rafe 18+MNDI!

(Also in another world Jj & Weird!girl would be so cute actually)

“What’re you doing up there?” The sound of someone’s voice nearly has you falling off the tree branch you’re perched on as your hand flies to chest and a surprised gasp leaves you. You look below you to see a head of messy blonde hair and ocean blue eyes squinting up at you through the sun. You’ve never met him, but recognize him of course, it’s not like the island is particularly big so you’ve seen everyone at least once. Jj Maybank, he’s from the cut so it makes sense that you’ve never really crossed paths. He’s cute though.

“Umm… I’m doing pretty much exactly what it looks like I’m doing, sitting in a tree.” You let out a little small chuckle as you look down at him. “What are you doing down there?”

“Well, I’m exactly what it looks like I’m doing, walking on the ground.” You snort at that, giving him a playful roll of your eyes. “I know, I’m hilarious. I was just makin’ sure you weren’t stuck up there or anything.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say stuck. I’d say I may have flown too close to the sun climbing up this high.” You shrug as you kick your dangling feet back and forth.

“Soooo… you’re stuck then?” Jj smirks up at you as he adjusts the cap on his head so it’s facing backwards. It gives you a better view of his face, he’s cute. Maybe if you weren’t already so invested in Rafe you would definitely be interested in him.

“I mean, mentally? Yes. Physically? No. I could get down whenever I want, actually.” Your voice is sickly sweet and Jj wonders why he’s never talked to you before. He’s seen you around and he’s always thought you were hot. That whole semi creepy but still angelic vibe you give off really does it for him.

“Yeah? You need some help?” He chuckles and leans his hand against the trunk of the tree, out stretching his neck and accentuating his jaw. He looks like he’d be nice to bite.

“She’s good, Maybank.” Your head whips around to see Rafe walking down the dirt path with a stone cold look set on his face. “I can help my girl. You can fuck off now.”

“Rafey! Hi!” You smile wide as you wave down at him enthusiastically. You sent him a picture of you up in the tree telling him you might need a little help getting down and he immediately dropped everything to come to your rescue.

“Rafey, huh? That’s adorable, truly.” Jj smirks at Rafe and it has him breathing out hard through his nostrils. He’s been trying really hard not to beat every man who looks at you to a pulp but seeing fucking Jj Maybank smirking up at you while you giggle is making him see red.

“Shut the fuck up, Pogue. Didn’t I tell you to fuck off? I suggest you do before we have an actual problem.” Rafe takes a few steps towards him, his eyes are like blue fire as he glares at Jj like he wants to burn him alive. It’s kind of hot. If you’re being honest with yourself.

“Okaaaay, I think that’s enough. I’m good Jj, thank you for offering to help me, you’re sweet.” You give him a saccharine smile and it makes him swoon just a little. You are so cute that if he wasn’t trying to stay off the cops radar he would probably stand here and fuck with Rafe even more.

“Yeah, no problem, sweetheart. See ya around, let me know if pretty boy over here decides to fuck you over, I don’t mind being your rebound.” Jj bites his lip as he winks at you before turning to walk off. Rafe wants to chase after him and wipe that smug ass look off his face by shoving it into the dirt.

“Raaaafe.” You snap your fingers to get his attention and it pulls him out of his rage filled trance. He looks up at you, smiling down at him so sweetly and he almost forgets who Jj Maybank even is. Almost. He still wants to kick his fucking ass.

“Hmm? Yeah baby?”

“Can you help me get down now?” He giggle and Rafe swears it’s his favorite sound other than when you scream for him while you fall apart in his cock.

“Oh shit, yeah. C’mere.” Rafe moves so he’s directly under you with his arms outstretched. “Jump down, I’ll catch you.”

“I don’t know, Rafe. I’m pretty high up.” Your expression turns nervous so Rafe leans up so he can hit the bottom of your shoe with the tips of his fingers.

“You’re not even that high, see? Just fuckin’ jump. Promise I won’t let you fall.” He shakes his hands above his head and gives you that semi goofy, reassuring smile that’s reserved only for you.

“Okay. Fine.” You let out a dramatic sigh before bracing your hands on the branch so you can push yourself down into Rafe’s arms. A little squeal leaves you when he grips onto your hips and pulls you against his chest. You wrap your arms around his neck so you can plant a messy smooch on his lips. “My savior!! How will I ever repay you, fair knight?”

“Pft. You’re so fuckin’ dramatic.” Rafe snorts as he lightly sets you down on the ground.

“I’m dramatic? You were about to beat Jj’s ass for trying to help me!” You laugh, jokingly pushing your hand into his shoulder.

“Nah, he was doing more than just trynna help you.” Rafe grabs onto your hand so he can pull you closer against his chest. “He was fucking flirting with you and you’re mine.”

“Yours, huh? Guess I missed the letter in the mail that said we were official.”

“Oh my god, you’re so dumb.” Rafe throws his head back with a groan but you can see the smile painted across your lips. “I thought I made it pretty fuckin’ clear that you’re my girl.”

“Hmmm… I don’t know, might need you to spell it out for me.” Your giggle makes butterflies erupt in his stomach and Rafe never believed in that butterflies in your tummy bullshit until he met you.

“Ugh. You’re a brat, you know that?” You shrug, letting out a satisfied hum. “Fine. Be my girlfriend?”

“Uh, duh, I already am.” He rolls his eyes and you give him a satisfied smile. “Just wanted to hear you say it.”

“You’re sooo in for it when we get back to my place. Brat.” He grips onto your neck, pulling your lips against his in a rough kiss. “Car. Let’s go.”

“Okay, okay, sooo bosssy.” He smacks your ass and you yelp, running full speed toward his truck.

“Oh hell nah! Get your lil ass back here!!”

Taglist: @babygorewhore @strawberrydolly333 @starkeysprincess @sturnioloshacker @nemesyaaa @rafeinterlude @loserboysandlithium

All things Rafe & his weird!girl here

Divider is @strangergraphics

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

Another week chock full of Japanese ql. I am officially dropping a currently airing show from QL Corner--let us never speak of it again. Of the other six shows still airing now, five are streaming weekly on Gaga and the other is available via fansub.

Takara's Treasure

This is quickly becoming one of my favorite things airing—it gets better every week, and it's been good from the start! This story is a great example of the way tension and depth of feeling in a great romance can build. I was delighted to have Takara confirm Taishin's confession and coax him into dating this early on because it means we are going to actually spend some time with them figuring out how to work as a couple. And I don't expect it will be smooth sailing, because these two have some incompatible issues that are going to exacerbate each other.

Cosmetic Playlover

This show is gorgeous, but it all feels pretty empty. Thank you to @usertoxicyaoi for confirming that the show is racing through the plot so it can cover the whole arc of the manga. I'm glad to understand why it's doing this, but it doesn't help with my total emotional disconnect from the story, because the show is rushing through and not letting us actually experience this relationship. They tell us they like each other, then that they're in love, then that they're established and struggling, but I can't feel it because they haven't brought us along for any of that. This week featured an interesting plot about their professional growth and how it challenges their relationship, but I was frustrated because I have no investment in said relationship to give the plot stakes. I may just have to accept that this one will stay a treat for the eyes but lacking in depth for me.

I Hear the Sunspot

We back! After a bit of a miscalibrated installment last week, this episode felt more characteristic and we finally got our boys back on track. Maya was less egregiously mean to people this week and her interference was treated as more comedic than sinister, which is a much better fit for the tone of this show. And once Kohei got around her, he finally talked properly with Taichi and asked him to stay on as his notetaker, reaffirming their friendship in the process. Despite Maya's efforts to convince him otherwise, Kohei has not wavered and his firm declaration that he doesn't want anyone but Taichi taking his notes or eating his food had me gasping. For his part, Taichi is getting better at keeping his cool and finding words when Kohei lets his feelings slip, and he's clearly thinking a lot about his own feelings and whether their connection is really about friendship.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

Oh man, this show has really gotten itself into a muddle. We finally got a kiss, but it hardly felt like a triumph. This episode was a bit of a return to form, with Ayaka back to her relentless pursuit of Hiroko, but the way the story diverged to change the conflict midstream has mucked it all up. For the first half the conflict was about Hiroko believing Ayaka is straight, and then suddenly it was about a different work-related closet trauma that did not connect to that. Now it’s touching on both but in a way that makes Hiroko seem inconsistent, because now that she knows Ayaka is a lesbian it doesn't track that she would continue to patronize and dismiss her, and it also sucks that Ayaka is harassing Hiroko at work despite knowing she doesn't want to be out. It feels like the story is invalidating Hiroko’s fears about being out in a way we know is not consistent with reality. This would all work better if the backstory had been about Hiroko falling for a woman who succumbed to comphet and we kept up the misunderstanding and comedy about Ayaka being straight. As it is, I feel like our heroine no longer makes sense and our couple still hasn't formed a real connection, and with only one episode to go it’s unlikely they’ll land the plane.

Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding

I just love everything about this show and its mature perspective on relationships. In the aftermath of Ishida's hasty confession (and his attempt to walk it back, which I love that Mitsuya did not fall for), we take a beat for Mitsuya to consider the two men circling him and what he wants from his life. I loved that he took the time he needed to process and end his relationship with Noguchi on his own terms this time, and to consider whether he has the desire and the energy to try again with someone new. When he said he has his home and his work and his Frito and that's enough for him, I felt that. But Ishida has already gotten to him, and as Shige wisely pointed out, Mitsuya must care about him quite a bit to be considering this deeply before making a move. I'm not sure he's ready to dive in, but he doesn't have much will to fight it, either. You can go here for the files to watch this episode, with big thanks to @isaksbestpillow and @nicks-den.

Tagging @bengiyo to add this week's anime update.

[covenha]

Shame | JWY

Synopsis: Wooyoung can't stop thinking about you (and what he wants to do to you ;) Pairings: Jung Wooyoung x fem!reader Genre: smut (+18), mdni WC: 1010 Warnings: this contains smut so if you don't like what please click away! reader ovulates, wooyoung having major pervy thoughts a/n: I wrote this all in one sitting after doing so much math for a booth making competition so there's probably grammatical errors and this might be all over the place woops, but at least I'm back from the dead! formatting for this one is non-existent but I don't have the time (or energy) to stretch this into a proper fic so this will have to do. I cannot stress enough how this is FICTION and this definitely is not telling of how the characters in this story are irl. And as always, feel free to leave your feedbacks in the comments or request something, they are much appreciated. Enjoy!

So imagine this, you get a notification from your period tracking app that today you are ovulating but you don’t pay it much attention

You haven’t been having such a great day so far, the coffee machine broke for reasons unknown so you haven’t had your daily dose of caffeine, you misplaced one of your bluetooth earphones so now you have to survive a day with ½ of your music fix, and to top it all off, because you were busy looking for your missing earphone you lose track of time and miss the school bus leaving you no choice but to walk to school 

On your way to school you pass by one of your upper classman’s house, Jung Wooyoung , vice-president of the radio broadcast club who’s in charge of school announcements 

You give him a polite smile and walk on your way, but you slow down when he shouts at you to wait up

He suggests you guys walk to school together since it “just makes sense”, the introvert in you is dying to say no but the people pleaser in you just nods along to his suggestion 

As he’s busy yapping about the festivities at your school’s upcoming founder’s week, you feel a weird sensation start to rise in your body

Unbeknownst to you, Wooyoung happens to have a black cat that he so lovingly calls “toothless”, an animal whose fur you happen to be very allergic to

You start sneezing every now and then, interrupting Wooyoung’s monologue on how the school should be investing better speakers for the football field, the first few times he just shrugs it off to some cool morning air sniffles but as the sneezes get a tad bit more aggressive he starts to feel concern for you

He asks if you’re okay, to which you just say that “it’s probably pollen or something” and he just nods at your reason

But as the sneezing doesn’t stop, a few blocks away from your school, he asks again “Are you really okay?” and then he puts a hand on your forehead to check if your temperature is up 

He feels your skin is a little warm and offers to walk you to the nurse’s clinic to which you repeat what you said about it probably just being allergies

But he relents and brings up how you feel like you might be coming up with a fever 

You sigh at this. because how were you supposed to bring up that your elevated temperature was probably just because it was this time of the month?

As Wooyoung continues to urge you to at least ask for some medicine from the clinic you just decided, you know what? I’ll just tell him, he definitely won’t stop until I tell him. So you cut him off and say “It’s because I’m ovulating.” 

Then comes a pregnant pause (I intended this joke okay please laugh)

“Oh.” is all he has to say. He feels the blood rushing up to his cheeks (but also down there if ykw I’m sayin)

“Yeah. That’s why I’m a little warm today.” You just give him a tight smile as the both of you enter school premises. 

He doesn’t have much to say as you guys walk into the hallways, I mean how could he even talk to you after that? 

He had the fattest crush on you since you signed up for the photography club last fall, and boy was he smitten. He was so excited to see you walk past his house this morning that he basically yelled at you to stop in your tracks. (This was not one of his proudest moments but he’ll just have to move on and rant about it to toothless later when he gets home.)

You had the prettiest smile, an infectious laugh, and you had a humor that just had him in a chokehold. So when you said so straightforwardly that you were ovulating, he didn’t know how to react. 

He liked to think that he was better than to fantasize about you in a sexual way, I mean, you barely knew him. Up until this point, he was probably just the Junior Social Sciences student who yelled at you to walk to school with him. 

But the way you looked when you were focused on taking the best shot, with your camera all adjusted and moving to get the best angle. He was weak to his body’s primal desires. 

Even as you both exchanged pleasantries as you parted ways, you were still on his mind. He was so unusually silent that even his friends started wondering if something wrong was going on with him. 

It was midway through a psychology lecture that he just couldn’t stop thinking about you. How soft your skin was, even from the few seconds that he put his hand on you. He bets the rest of your body is just as soft…. Soft and supple and aching for him to take a bite out of. 

He wonders if your moans are soft and breathy during foreplay, then he imagines your noises getting more whiney and drawn out. You’d look so cute all teary with your eyes squeezed shut as he kept hitting that special spot in you. 

He wonders if he could make you beg… to go harder? For more? To stop? Who knows what's going on in his brain. He just knows that he desperately wants to know how you sound when he angles his thrusts to hit nice and deep. 

But most of all, he wants to know just how much you can take. I mean it would be such a shame for you to not be pleasured when your body is at its prime. 

That night, he jacks off to the thought of you. And as he lays there on his bed watching his cum drip down his softening tip, he thinks to himself how it's such a shame that it be wasted like this.

Because he would rather it be dripping out of you. 

[basu-shokikita]

About Depths of Humanity

So, I talked about The Duel some time back and I thought, why not do the same for this song too? It's actually one of my underrated faves from Doomstar Requiem.

This more of a rant than a strict analysis though, I just really enjoy thinking about the implications of this song and what it means in regard to Skwisgaar.

Let's start with Ishnifus' warning. He claims that inside lies danger, the ghosts of their pasts and their fears. He cautions them to stay alert and Dethklok brave forward, even if scared.

Inside, they encounter their old manager, old groupies and Skwisgaar's old guitar teacher, in that order. As promised by Ishnifus', they're all people from their past, coming back to haunt them.

Immediately, these people start recriminating Dethklok for not having paid them back after how much they helped them. In short, they're jealous of Dethklok's fame and money.

The band is clearly affected by the plaints, quickly forgetting what they were here to do. Except Skwisgaar, who reminds them all they have to find clues about Toki's whereabouts. It does not seem like they're listening to him, though.

Now up to here, I want to point out 2 things:

That Nathan and Pickles seem the most upset by these confrontations.

That, while Skwisgaar is disturbed, he still has their goal in mind.

About Nathan and Pickles, I think it makes sense, they are the leaders of the band, they're most conscious of its tremendous success. They also know they're extremely talented musicians, meaning, they're aware of their value. They know they're far from being these miserable pricks demanding rewards. Nathan had a nurturing family while Pickles used to be in a huge band, previously to Dethklok. They're both people that have been inherently helped by other people, which is why being confronted is actually uncomfortable.

Skwisgaar is certainly a different case. I have to say, I was pretty surprised to find out that he had a guitar teacher. Based on the flashbacks in Fatherklok, I assumed he had been self taught. Skwisgaar himself has admitted he was pretty poor in his childhood so it's hard to believe Servetta would've invested in his music education. Plus, he can't read music which I think would be hardly the case if he had gotten classes.

But anyway, I'll play along. This teacher is speaking English and he doesn't make any mistakes so I'm guessing he's american. Meaning, Skwisgaar took classes when he went to America, which was later in his life. To strengthen his game and/or learn the technical bits he might have missed before? Maybe? And if this was the case, then Skwisgaar would've felt less obligated to indulge to other people in his life, when he learned to be independent from a really young age. He doesn't feel like he owes shit to other people, because other people didn't give him shit. Thus, the Depths of Humanity effect is not that strong in him.

You could also argue that the loss of Toki is a far more terrifying prospect than these bitter acquaintances from their past but I'll elaborate on that further in this post.

Murderface? Well, Murderface has low esteem and is the less popular member in the band, so of course he can't fall victim to guilt-tripping. Because that would mean acknowledging he feels like he's in a better place than others, it would mean that he actually believes himself superior than others. But he doesn't, Murderface is convinced he's worth nothing, so this whole charade is more grating than anything. Which brings us to the next moment.

The way Murderface is coaxed by the Depths of Humanity crew, is when a seemingly fan approaches him and starts praising him, claiming he's the best one. And then, is when Murderface is hypnotized by the attention. He's already such a negative person, of course more negativity isn't going to get to him. But positivism? That's another deal.

Skwisgaar once again insists that they have to find a clue on how to find Toki but it falls on deaf ears. Nathan is grabbing his head in despair while Pickles clutches his chest in what seems to be an impending panic attack.

Now I really like the wording 'I'll look if you do, too' from Skwisgaar. It almost feels like, even in this situation, he's trying to sound cool about it. He doesn't want to be the only one caring this much about Toki, he doesn't want to be the one leading this operation. He's not a leader, he's never been a leader, even less when it comes to emotional stuff, which is the implicit purpose of this search. They care about Toki, and that's why they're looking for him. But is Skwisgaar seems to be unconsciously rejecting this fact. This attachment.

However, his bandmates aren't listening, too self-absorbed in their anguish to do so. Skwisgaar continues the search and is quick to point out at something on the wall. It's a flyer that he grabs and, immediately, seems to connect the dots about. In an unusual display of leadership, he tells Nathan to grab Murderface so they can leave. Their purpose has been fulfilled and they can finally escape this horrid place.

Okay, so this is my favorite bit, obviously. Once they're outside, Nathan and Pickles keep complaining about what they were just subjected to, and Skwisgaar stops them to show his discovery. It's the same flyer he just grabbed, and it features the place where Toki had his audition. Also known as the place where they all met Toki for the first time and Skwisgaar and him had the legendary duel.

We don't have a precise Dethklok timeline but it's been a long time since Toki joined the band. Several years, at the very least. And this building is nothing but a far away memory, from when they were a lesser band. From when they weren't the big rockstars they are now. So, it really begs to question that not only did Skwisgaar remember the place, but he did so at once, when he hadn't seen or heard of it in years.

...Unless, he had been thinking about it recently?

We know, thanks to the beautiful central section of the movie, that Toki had been thinking of his audition, of joining Dethklok, as a means to cope with the devastating reality he was faced with. We know reminiscing of his dazzling battle with Skwisgaar and the happiness he found within the band gave Toki strength to carry on. But what about Skwisgaar?

For someone who considered himself much better than other guitarists, to the point he didn't want to play with another one, to actually find an equal, someone that challenged him, it couldn't have been anything short of extraordinary for Skwisgaar.

The summit is for the very best only, yet it's quite lonely too, and Skwisgaar had been basking in that isolation his whole life. Until he played with Toki, then the idea of sharing his field no longer felt like an insult, but potential instead. He found someone that could improve his own playing, someone that could compliment his guitar, take it to even higher heights.

And so, Skwisgaar was the one to invite Toki to the band, more specifically, to tell him he wanted him in the band. While we can't factually know how the rest of the members joined Dethklok, we know for sure that Skwisgaar was the sole responsible for making Toki join, as the rest were already bidding him farewell for failing to keep up with Skwisgaar.

So, when the one person that challenged Skwisgaar's playing was taken away, it wouldn't be a stretch for Skwisgaar to look back on how it all happened. To ponder about the circumstances that lead them to the current situation. It's clear the whole band loves Toki and, unable to deal with their own sadness, drank and fucked to oblivion. This also applies to Skwisgaar, except that with him it's especially complex, given that he's the one that brought Toki to his world to begin with. Given that Toki and Skwisgaar share the same instrument. (Fun fact: you don't actually see Skwisgaar fiddling with his guitar in Doomstar Requiem, just puttings dat out theres.)

Obviously, this is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo but as any Pepe-Silvia-scene impersonator that respects themselves, I want to point out how interesting of a coincidence it is that, less than 2 songs later, Skwisgaar is saying this:

Right before they head in to rescue Toki and Abigail, Skwisgaar imparts some reflection of his. He's been wondering if maybe it wouldn't be better to go back to being a one-guitar band. Toki has been in Dethklok for a long time now, so it's interesting Skwisgaar has been thinking about this...

...Except, that's exactly what his mentality used to be like, before meeting Toki. Right when he was trying to convince Pickles that they didn't need a rhythm guitar, he spoke these words exactly. One-guitar band.

It's almost like Skwisgaar is trying to do some self-preservation by returning to his aloof roots. He made Toki join the band, now Toki's gone and in danger, and maybe this wouldn't have happened if they had stuck with Skwisgaar's original plan. Because they attempted to replace Magnus is why this came to be. The revenge Magnus promised did arrive.

I just wanna be clear. I don't think Skwisgaar believes he's the sole to responsible for this, I'm sure he knows Magnus is the main perpetrator here. But the facts remain the facts, and had they all stayed as they were, then they wouldn't be risking their lives now to save their fifth member.

Like this, it seems entirely logical that Skwisgaar would be thinking of his former reluctance, of the Duel, of everything. It's all fresh in his mind once again, because Toki's kidnapping has forced him to realize they're not actually untouchable. Their mortality is back on the table, and so are their bonds.

In short, Skwisgaar had been repressing all his emotions about Toki's disappearance, but from the Depths of Humanity onward, he can't help but show them. He can't help but admit to himself and others, that he wants Toki back. So much, that a bunch of angry and entitled people can't affect him enough to forget it. So much that it's making him remember how distant he used to be, before Toki. So much that it's making him realize how different he is now.

[afurtivecake]

One thing I've been wondering is how much did Riko really see Kevin as a brother and how much did he see him as a possession? (And is there really a distinction between the two in Riko's eyes?) Because, I don't think Kevin was ever meant to be Riko's brother or Riko's equal on the court. I think Tetsuji took Kevin in as an investment, nothing more:

"Tetsuji never formally adopted Kevin. Do you know why? Moriyamas don't believe in outsiders or equals. Tetsuji took Kevin in and took over his training, but he also gave Kevin to Riko—literally. Kevin isn't human to them. He's a project. He's a pet, and it's Riko's name on his leash. Sakavic, Nora. The Foxhole Court (All for the Game Book 1) (p. 88).

To the outside world, Tetsuji taking custody over both Riko and Kevin would have looked like him adopting them and making them brothers, but "Moriyamas don't believe in outsiders or equals" so what reason would he have had to lead Riko to believe that Kevin would be his brother? A brother implies a level of equality. He probably thought this will be a learning experience for Riko: give him something to be responsible for, something that he has to learn to control because he's a Moriyama and it's about time he learned how dominate lesser beings. He probably imagined Kevin to be something like Jean was: an obedient servant who can take being beaten within and inch of his life semi-regularly, no sense of autonomy, blindly submissive, and still able to be one of the top players in his position. A valuable right-hand man perhaps, but nothing worth kicking up a fuss over.

I think (and this might just be me wanting a good story) that the whole "brothers" thing came from Riko. A neglected kid with nothing and no one to call him 'family' receives a boy, who doesn't have anyone to call him family either, and is told, "This is yours now. This is yours to mind. Do whatever you want with him but make sure he knows his place and knows how to obey the right people." To a kid who's longing for something to call his own and someone to recognize him as family, that could easily have sounded like, "This is yours now, your person, to be by your side always. Yours to tend, yours to keep, yours." I think Tetsuji said "possession" and Riko heard, "brother". And if that's not what a brother actually is, well, who's going to tell him that? It's not as if there's a single example of a normal family relationship to be found among the Ravens.

I think Riko made Kevin his brother because he wanted something more than a possession. He wanted an ally, someone who always has his back and would never leave him. Riko making Kevin his brother instead of just a pet as was intended, gave Kevin a degree a freedom that Tetsuji probably wouldn't have allowed otherwise: travelling outside of the country with Riko, not always being stuck inside Evermore, studying what he wanted...he even got to have interests and to enjoy exy even when he wasn't playing (being a Trojans fan) and he managed to have friends outside of Evermore (Jeremy). Ravens don't have family or an identity outside of being a Raven, but Riko made Kevin his brother and gave him the chance to become his own person.

If Riko considers Kevin a brother, how can he turn around and hurt Kevin like he's nothing more than a possession, you ask? Well, I'm not sure he sees any conflict between the two. To Riko, beating Kevin up isn't outside of what Riko understands as "family" and doting on Kevin as a brother doesn't go against what Riko sees as ownership. To Tetsuji, ownership might only include being able to treat a person like shit without consequence. But for Riko, allowing Kevin freedom and indulging his "whims" probably feels as much like ownership as hurting Kevin without recourse does.

It seems impossible and stupid for their relationship to be anything other than toxic and deeply fucked up, but I think Riko selfishly believed that so long as he kept things in check, so long as Kevin stayed exactly where he was, he'd get to keep him. Even when Riko starts suspecting that other people are starting to see that Kevin might be better than him, even when being brothers is no longer useful to him if he wants to prove that he's really a Moriyama, Riko can't let go of their brotherhood. He doesn't give Kevin up until the very end. He can't. No matter how angry he gets at Kevin, no matter how much he comes to enjoy seeing Kevin hurt and sorry, there are lines he can't quite bring himself to cross. Because Kevin is still his brother. Because for better or for worse, he made Kevin mean something more to him than a possession when he made him his brother.

I don't think Tetsuji expected Riko to cling on to Kevin as though Kevin was actually important. He didn't think that by partnering the two, by giving them a common goal and a common enemy, that it would create a bond between them. But they did and maybe, in some ways, their dysfunctional relationship both saved them and doomed them.

[devilstruly]

TRUE BEAUTY

pairing - kuroo tetsuro x gn. reader

includes - mutual pining, not really confessing but also not being very subtle about it either, late night talking, commenting on the plot of a kdrama. y/n mentioned once but i promise i had a good reason

a/n - this is mostly inspired by my internal monologue while watching the show, ergo the reader is rooting for seo-jun (i'm biased sorry). also reader is ticklish. i know it's another kuroo one i'm sorry but this man is so ugh

1.14 am

‘That's fucking adorable! Fuckkkk, why is he so cute! Oh my god!’ 

You found yourself snuggled into Kuroo's side comfortably, with his arm draped over the back of the couch and a blanket shared between the two of you. 

‘What the fuck is cute about that?!’ He rolled his eyes at your reaction, his arm flailing around to emphasize his words.

‘He's making up rumors about them dating!’

‘Yeah because he likes her! He just doesn't know how to express his feelings, okay? He's traumatized.’ 

‘Everyone is traumatized, that's not an excuse. Plus, don't you always say it's best to be upfront about things?’

‘He is being upfront about it! She's just oblivious!’ 

'Like you would know.'

Kuroo turned his head to the side slightly so he could mumble a response, quietly enough so that you couldn't pick up on it.

‘What was that?’ 

‘Nothing. I just can't believe you're making excuses for that asshole.’ 

Hadn't it been for you being very deeply invested into the drama as well, you would definitely giggle at Kuroo's persistence.

But alas, that wasn't the case. 

‘That's because he has a bike and good fashion sense.’ 

Kuroo huffed. ‘What's with you and bikes?’

While stating your answer, you shifted your position slightly so you'd be more comfortable, and in addition, almost naturally, Kuroo's arm wrapped around your shoulder to pull you closer.

‘They're cool.’ You replied with a grin, to which Kuroo huffed again. ‘Oh and, I like his eyes too. They're similar to yours.’

Not thinking much of your words, you continued to watch the show unfold, head resting on Kuroo's chest. You had almost forgotten about what you said, but Kuroo finally broke the silence after a while.

‘You like my eyes?’  

Barely paying attention to the television, he now faced you fully, thankful to the darkness of the room for hiding his blush. 

‘Hm? Oh yeah.’ As you finally acknowledged the proximity when you lifted your head, you could feel a blush of your own starting to creep up on your neck.

‘They're really pretty.’ You added after not being able to look away from the golden hues for god knows which time.

With a small smile you went back to your initial position, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself whilst Kuroo tried his best to process the newly received information. 

2.01 am

‘No! No, you dumb fuck! Ugh!’ 

A loud groan echoed in the room before you covered your face with your hands in agony. Kuroo's hand was patting your back gently, though not very sincerely since he was wearing a satisfied expression as he watched the screen. 

‘There there.’ 

‘Fuck off, you like this!’ 

With a huff you untangled yourself from Kuroo's limbs, scooting all the way to the other end of the couch. 

‘I just think it works better!’ Kuroo himself raised his hands in defense, but his smile remained. 

‘Bullshit! He is clearly the better option! He treats her so much better!’ 

‘But they're already dating and she loves her boyfriend. Besides, nothing's wrong with him either.’

‘No it's not, but Seo-jun is simply better.’ 

‘You're just biased because he has a bike.’

‘I'm not! I mean yeah that's a plus, but not that important! He even gave her the keys, come on!’ 

‘Oh so if it were you, you'd dump Soo-ho?’

You immediately recognized the sly undertone in Kuroo's voice and huffed whilst you turned to face him.

‘That's not what I'm saying. And she shouldn't dump him. She shouldn't be with him in the first place. Ugh, this is why relationships are dumb.’

This seemed to get the man's attention, and he readjusted his position on the couch, now barely looking at the TV. 

‘You don't want a relationship?’ His tone became much softer than the previous question, which to you was a clear indicator that the conversation had suddenly become serious. 

You chose to write the change off as the late hour delirium. 

‘I mean…it's not that I don't want it, it's just like- not right now. I don't know. I mean if the person I like is - um - will be someone I can't imagine my life without, then I'd drop this…way of thinking.’

‘Oh.’ 

The one syllable Kuroo managed to get out had you turning your head towards him in confusion, only to be met with the sight of him mumbling something under his breath. 

Opting not to point it out at the moment, you tried to distract him instead. 

‘And you?’ His head shot up in an instant. ‘What's your take on relationships?’ 

Suddenly looking anywhere but you, Kuroo shifted uncomfortably in his seat, making you raise your eyebrows as a silent way of urging him to reply. 

‘Uh…I don't- well- that's a lot of work that I don't have time for. But I think they're…great.’ 

He mentally cursed himself for his choice of words. 

‘So…’ You began, a dangerously serious expression on your face. ‘...If you were to like someone that liked you back…what would you do?’ 

Patiently waiting for an answer, you hugged your knees to your chest and rested your cheek on top of them. Unable to formulate a reply, Kuroo blinked a couple of times before taking a deep breath and slowly letting the words leave his mouth. 

‘I suppose…I would ask them out.’ 

‘Oh? Good to know.’ Your eyes widened in surprise, and a teasing smile graced your features before you turned your attention back towards the television. 

On the contrary, Kuroo still sat frozen in place, eyes glued to your side profile. 

‘Wh- what do you mean good to know?! For what?!’ 

‘Shhhh, I'm watching my husband.’ 

‘Nuh uh. Explain.’

Your attempts to distract your friend proved futile and with a frustrated sigh you defended yourself.

‘There's nothing to explain!’

‘Yes there is.’

‘Not.’ 

‘y/n.’ 

‘Tetsuro.’ 

‘Oh so we're on Tetsuro now?’ 

The sudden change in Kuroo's tone was drastic enough to cause you to tense, not turning to face him for the sake of saving youtself from a heart attack. 

‘I- forget I said that.’ You blurted out once you finally mustered up the courage to look at him. As quickly as you said that you turned your head back around, failing to notice an idea flash across Kuroo's face. 

Shuffling sounds reached your ears but you paid them no mind, until you felt a pair of hands tickling your sides. On instinct you squealed and flinched away, but with the man's quick reflexes it made no difference. 

‘Wait wait- stop! Kuroo!’ You managed to get out between tears of laughter and uncontrollable shaking, much to Kuroo's entertainment. 

‘I'll stop when you explain yourself.’ The smile on his face kept growing by each passing moment whilst your cries became louder. 

‘I will! Just- stop- please!’ Your words were barely audible by this point, but Kuroo decided to be generous and simply flopped on top of you. 

With his ear right above your heart, he could feel the rapid thumps and the heavy breathing whilst you tried to calm down. 

It was once you finally managed to get your senses back that you became aware of your position, and so your heart rate remained quick as it was. 

‘Kuroo?’ 

‘Hm?’ 

‘What are you doing?’ 

‘Me? Nothing ~’ 

Even though it was hard to see, you could practically feel the smile on his face growing. However, not minding the situation much, your hands threaded through his hair curiously and in return Kuroo became more at ease. 

3.46 am

‘Kuroo.’ 

‘I'm sleeping.’ 

‘Then go to bed.’ 

‘Just one more episode.’ 

The drowsiness started enveloping him progressively, yet he made no effort to acknowledge it - and neither did you. 

‘Fine.’ 

[impactrueno]

(thread i posted on twitter copypaste)

i think musical bj and lydia have the most interesting dynamic of the three…they go toe to toe, seem to be in perfect sync without even trying, she managed to turn his marriage threat on its head by tricking HIM back, and then a mini redemption arc? we love to see it but this also means it's hard for me to think of interesting things for them, because they already said everything that needed to be said in the musical. perfect closure too. what else is there even to tell?

thinking about this again since i've been rewatching the musical over and over. the emotional resolution and closure they had was so satisfying after offering what is probably the best (subjectively) and most balanced (objectively) dynamic of the three iterations

over at tumblr i've been talking about how cartoon bj and lydia's friendship isn't as perfect as it seems, especially in the later episodes. it's so sad to see but i'm also invested in their potential downfall and how that would go down…it's interesting to think about

but hey at least they're not movie bj and lydia lol. what….a mess of a dynamic those two have now with the sequel. it could've been handled so much better. they obviously wanted us to root for bj a little in this one, but the cool things he does amount to nothing, pretty much.

feels weird sympathizing with THIS beetleguy of all three but wow not even a reluctant "thanks i guess" or anything? idk feels like something was missing there. just one of the many things that feel like they're setting up for a third installment

thinking so hard about this because when i write them i gotta think about their motivations, feelings and why they feel that way, etc and bj saving astrid's life and exposing rory as a fraud and abuser (in an incredibly satisfying way) definitely tipped the scales in his favor.

so i'm still figuring out how lydia would feel about all that. i have this scene stuck in my head of her and astrid talking about bj. and astrid, who's really only seen him do good things, goes "…really mom?" and now i'm going "welp she's kinda got a point, lydia" NOW WHAT.

if i were in her shoes, me personally, that would've won me over or at the VERY least i would've forgiven him since he made up for the bad stuff. and i keep seeing people who feel the same way… then again, the ending does show he's still messing with her so idk. mixed feelings

trying my hardest to work with what canon gave us if you couldn't tell lol. sloppy as it was. i will try to make sense of it so i can do my stupid little comics

i guess at least she let him down easy lmao. as sarcastic her "look i'm sorry things didn't work out between us but the 600 year gap is a little much for me" line was. but he's not gonna give up that easily, is he? of course not. he's beetlejuice. he's gonna be annoying forever.

none of this would be such an issue if they had given them more screentime together to let their dynamic cook a bit and actually see how they get along 😑 hmph

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk im done now

[blueishspace]

Hero Villain God 6

(Prev) (Next) (First)

Chapter 2

*Grian's pov*

It was Mumbo to suggest putting Ariana Griande online, something about the internet having more reach. He even offered to provide you with equipment... you know he's hoping to use your income to fund his villany... you don't really care for money but you find it weird he's investing so much on your "career", did the song you sang to him really entranced him that much?

Technically you know how it works, the internet is ripe for your domain. Phisically though? You are the god of chaos ...not technology and you never really cared to learn too much about it before this moment... You though it would be like making that meme of HotGuy but no... Video and Audio Editing is so extremely tedious.

You also finally build the persona of Ariana Griande, by telling Mumbo you are her you have limited your form to a variation of "Grian" ... Still you have fun with it and Mumbo looks like he's having a great time looking at her too.

Your first video as Ariana is nothing worth talking about, just the cover of soldier poet king that you have already sung to Mumbo a few days ago... It gets 5 views by the end of the day... You could push it along with a bit of divinity but that's not nearly as fun as letting the channel grow organically. You do get one comment: "Oh lord, your voice is divine!" which is very ironic... And amusing.

Your second Ariana Griande video is another cover, at this point an orginal song wouldn't make sense. It doesn't do much better but Mumbo seems to enjoy it... Perhaps you did put too much divinity in it because Mumbo takes a minute to recover after listening in... hopefully the effects will be less intense when viewing the video at a later date.

You distract yourself from the channel for a moment as Mumbo interrupts you. He is as anxious as ever and stumbles on his words but you can understand the gist of what he's trying to say. He's going somewhere and was wondering if you wanted to join in, you don't have much to do right now anyway so you easily accept.

The coffe shop he brings you is pretty small but it surely has a certain cosiness to it... It isn't that which attracts your attention though. There is a familiar presence here, you can feel it. Hotguy is here, what are the chances?

You get up under the excuse of going to the bathroom and walk toward the man that your divinity tells you is Hotguy... without his uniform yes, but it's him nonetheless. You approach and- he turns suddenly and accidentally spills his coffee on you...

...

...

..Calm down, Grian. Do not smite the mortal. Do not smite the mortal. Do not-

"Oh! I'm so so sorry! Are you ok?!"

"I- *breathe in breathe out* yes. Just didn't expect it"

And that is true, you didn't... somehow.

"Do you need something to clean yourself with-"

"No no, calm down, It's fine"

You say it to Hotguy as much as you say it to yourself...

"Are you sure -uh...?"

"It's... Grian" Then you remember about human identity, you are leaning. "... He/Him"

"Oh! Well Uh I'm so sorry about this Grian, uh wait, I should introduce myself too! I'm Scar! Uh- He/Him Nice to meet you... Well not nice since I dropped my coffee on you but-"

Oh you can't stay angry at him if he's going to act like that. You just can't.

"It's not your fault...and It's nice to meet you too"

This too isn't a lie, after all you still don't know how you managed to not notice the coffee was going to fall on you.

You turn to Mumbo, he must have seen what happened because he looks like he doesn't know wether he should get up and help or to stay in place and mind his own buisness...he's just kind of half standing?

You'll have to cut this meeting short but perhaps...

"I have to go now but if you really want to make it up to me you can buy me coffee sometime in the future"

You put your hand in your pocket and generate a piece of paper with your number on it. You then take it out and offer it to him before going back to Mumbo.

"Grian?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you fllirt with the guy who spilled coffee on you?"

Uh? Did you? You don't think so at least.

"I have no idea what you are talking about mister Mumbo Jumbolio"

"... That isn't my full name??"

"Are you sure?"

"Y-Yeah???"

"If you say so Mimbo Jimbo."

[diminuel]

Happy new years 🎉 I wish you a great 2025

Ok with that outta the way, I made the horrific mistake of continuing my rewatch of op yesterday afternoon and finished marineford which is not a great way to spend the last day of the year with but that's on me

I usually am passive with the whole crocomom/dad theory with croc cuz I thought it was only based of that one iva line and thought haha let's add another potential mom to the list(mind you I first heard this theory when I was in wci so memories of marineford was spotty at that time)

Now on my rewatch when I'm not too focused on the anxiety and mourning of ace I'm now realized how ooc croc was after sengoku announced Luffy parentage

I just went ????!?!? HUH WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR I DONT TRUST YOU WHAT

There's legit zero reason for him to kill the executioners much less help the whitebeards with akainu like zero reason

You couldn't even play off it's a 'pirate's pride' with croc like he said when he went to help the whitebeards and not letting the navy hunt down the pirate CUZ HE WAS A FORMER WARLORD HE DOESN'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT PIRATE PRIDE WHATSOEVER

And you couldn't even argue about it paying back a debt to Luffy cuz he technically did so already in impel down

It's just, it doesn't make any sense unless he has a very strong connection regarding Luffy parentage (regardless it's because he is mom or he owe someTHING to the revs)

Ughhhh my goddd, I don't even think it's a theory anymore, I truly believe crocomom is real now andjshfjsnfj

A happy New Year and a great 2025 to you too!

Crocodile's out of the ordinary behavior during the battle of Marineford is what many people who are aware of Crocodad cite as a main reason for why there could be some truth to the theory! I did read this "live" when it was released in but I didn't like Crocodile at that time so I don't remember what I thought about his motivations. I think the most surface level one is to just accept that what he says is true but it leaves a lot of questions because he goes above and beyond what is necessary to not let the marines win.

Not letting the marines win meant "save Ace, protect Luffy - carry the next generation into the new era". Considering his grudge against Whitebeard, him following his wishes all of a sudden seems strange. But if there was his own interest mixed into making sure Luffy lives... well.

(Sidenote: I like what you say about him not having any pirate pride. I think that's true. Judged by Miss Golden Week's power he still has or at least had dreams to be the king of pirates. But he doesn't do anything to achieve it, so I wonder what being king of pirates even meant to him. (It is Buggy of all people who gives him and Mihawk a lecture about them not being real pirates if I remember correctly.))

Crocodile comes across as a character who makes decisions based on strategic merit, not emotion. But when he saved Luffy, he was clearly upset, even more upset than when he saw WB stabbed by his own crew member. And even that kind of upset surprised a lot of people.

I did write about the specific moment that proceeds Crocodile starting his out of character actions and it is WB's speech about sons, about loving them unconditionally, about doing what it takes to preserve that life. He was talking about Ace and while Crocodile did save Ace, there is way more weight to him saving Luffy - the stakes are higher (it is against Akainu) and Crocodile appears emotionally invested in it as well. "If you want to protect something, do it right." He knows that this is his son/ someone he wants to protect for some reason. He didn't react the moment it was revealed that Dragon was his dad (we didn't see Crocodile's reaction to it, but he also didn't jump into action the second he heard), but only later, when WB made his speech which also seemed to rearrange Crocodile's priorities - he has to let go of the old wounds and old grudges that he's been carrying for decades. Maybe leaving his child behind has also been an old wound, never mind what the realization that he nearly killed him might have done to him. But Luffy's alive, he's here, he needs help and Crocodile is going to provide it.

Ah, I love thinking about this theory!

(Of course he could have other ties or debts to Dragon, or he could just have done it all because he somehow decided to let go of his grudge against WB and stand side by side with the WB pirates because he used to be one of them, but that doesn't bring me as much joy to think about. And while there might have been WB and Croc backstory, the point of revealing that Croc was part of his crew seems to have passed. The WB pirates are no more; they were defeated, we got to see some flashbacks and this chapter seems closed now. Of course Oda could just reveal it in a SBS later as he sometimes does with backstories he knows won't make it into the manga.)

This is quite rambly, my apologies X'D

[writingdevil]

Tongues and Teeth PT.5 (STP)

(Broken is the second voice I'm afraid I'll write incredibly wrong,more so than Cold,and I'm so sorry for that.Also,I apologize if the sneak peek in chapter 3 made anyone think it was Skeptic with Stubborn with the line 'listen to reason'.I didn't think about how that was more of a Skeptic than Hunted response.Sorry about that and I'll try not to mess up again.)

*

"This is bullshit!"

"You just need to think about it logically-"

"This isn't what we're here for."

"Alright,fellows,let's calm down now-"

"Fuck that!"Cheated exclaimed,grinding his teeth as he glared at a composed Skeptic.The inquisitive one had his hands on his hips,frustrated with Cheated but still somehow keeping a level of collected calmness about him,sharp eyes that glowed brighter than the stars now in the sky.

"Look!I'm just as worried about Hero as the rest of you,but we saw Stubborn chasing Hunted,so shouldn't we follow them first?"

Skeptic sighed,as they had had this conversation a million times since finding each other in the forest. He gestured with his hands as he spoke,"No, because they're not going to give us the answers we need."

"The answers to what?"

Skeptic started counting on his fingers."Why are we here?Where is here?What happened to the Long Quiet and the Shifting Mound?What are those monsters?How-"

"How can we get back to our beloved Princess?" Smitten dramatically cut in,and Skeptic sighed,but nodded."Yes,that as well.Hero is who will give us those answers,not the others.You and I both know that he was the closer voice to Him,so if anybody knows what's going on,it'll be him."

"Yeah,but we shouldn't ditch the others just because of that!"Cheated argued,"Hunted looked terrified back there."

Smitten smiled at him in reassurance,one hand motioning theatrically about, while the other was busy petting Broken,who was pressed against Smitten's chest."We shouldn't worry about Hunted-I have faith in our most resilient friend and his abilities."

"Yes,Hunted will be fine,"Skeptic said,only making Cheated roll his eyes."The others all have a means of survival-"

"You think Contrarian has survival skills?"

"That's not the point.The point is,we should be focusing on what's really important-"

Cheated groaned in frustration,which grew into a full on yell.He glared at Skeptic as he snapped,"He isn't fucking here right now!There has not been a single Princess in sight!I want to understand what's going on as much as you,but I also want to find our flock,because they're the only thing that makes sense right now!"

Smitten's soft and loving smile finally dropped,and his feathers that puffed up around him and made him look more large and eye-catching seemed to wilt with his mood."Do not say that,"Smitten quietly pleaded,"do not say such harsh things about the love of our life.She was the only one that was with us to the end.What could be more important than reuniting with her?"

"Literally anything else,"Cheated bluntly said,not missing the flash of hurt in Smitten's shiny eyes,but he couldn't help it."Do you know who else was with Him until the bitter end?We were.We were there in His head,every step of the way,through whatever crap was thrown at us.But we're not in His head anymore,so-"

"Yes,but why is that?"Skeptic interrupted,only looking to get more invested the more questions were left unanswered."There has to be a reason for it all!"

"Who knows!"Cheated threw his hands up in the air,"Maybe one of the others know a thing or two. Let's go ask them."

"We just need to ask Hero.He'll know what to do."

"Yes,"Smitten added,his dramatic flare back in his voice,if a little softer now."Our chivalrous knight will be able to lead us back to our beloved."

Cheated sighed,giving both of them a heavy look of irritation.He could understand wanting to know what happened and where He went,but Cheated just didn't like the thought of simply abandoning the others for the sake of answers.

He looked down at Smitten's chest,then softly nudged Broken."Hey,what about you?What do you have to say about all this?"

Broken twisted his head just enough so that Cheated could see half his face,with an eye shining with disbelief,and Broken opened his mouth to speak,but then Smitten gasped loudly,wrapping his arms around Broken's head and shoving his face back into his chest.

"How dare you!Of course he wants to find the Princess just as much as we do!There was no one more devoted to her than him!"

"Yeah,I'd like to hear that from his own mouth," Cheated said,and motioned for Smitten to release him.Smitten only eased up on his hold,letting Broken take a step back,but keeping his arms slung over his shoulders.

Broken looked down at the ground,smaller than all three of them.His voice was low yet firm as he finally said,"She's not here anymore.She doesn't need us anymore."Cheated wasn't expecting this, but he was happy to hear the other's thoughts. Smitten and Skeptic though,looked less pleased.

"We're not worthy to be around her anymore," Broken shook his head to himself,"so who's going to protect us now?"

"Are you saying that...you don't want go find Hero?" Cheated asked,and Smitten looked appauled at the notion,trying to bring Broken closer as he said,"But what of the Princess?Don't you miss her?"and Broken actually glared into Smitten's chest,before firmly shoving himself off of him.

Broken ducked his head low,refusing to look anyone in the eye."I loved the Princess because I loved her power.I miss the safety.She chose the Decider over us,so I want to choose what will protect me the most now."

Cheated hadn't expected this response,but he's glad he asked now.He sent Skeptic a triumphant smirk,who just frowned at Cheated with a disapproving look in his eyes.

"See?"Cheated pointed out,"Not everyone cares about what the happy couple are up to now.Some of us just want to see our flock again."

Skeptic rolled his eyes."Neither of you are thinking about the biggest picture."

"Oh fuck your bigger picture!"Cheated snapped, taking a step towards the taller bird.Broken flinched,and Smitten reached out to embrace him again,but Broken stepped away from his grasp, hugging himself and inching closer to Cheated.

"All you two care about is getting back to what you used to know,and not the people around you who actually care about you,and that's not fair on them! So have fun chasing nothing-we're going to find our flock."

With that,he turned to Broken,nodding his head towards the distance as he said,"Come on little guy, let's get outta here."He turned around,marching away from Smitten and Skeptic,feeling Broken keep close as they walked,almost pressing up against Cheated's too small wings.

He felt Broken try to grab his elbow and he stopped,looking down at him softly.Broken tried not to look him in the eye,and Cheated held back his words of comfort,knowing that would only piss him off after the way Smitten coddled him.

Instead,he sighed and glanced over at Broken's wings,or lack of,he should say.The appendages were missing the majority of its feathers,leaving them bony and naked,and with Broken unable to fly.

"Would it make you feel more safe if I carried you?So that I can get us both out of danger if something happens?"Because Cheated couldn't fly either,because what was more unfair than just not having wings?Having wings that were too small to actually carry you.

Broken looked up at him in surprise,then seemed to be deep in thought about it for a few minutes, before asking,"I won't weigh you down?"

Cheated smiled."You could never weigh me down."

Broken quickly ducked his head again,but then nodded in acceptance,and Cheated easily hoisted him onto his back,giving him a piggyback ride.

Cheated didn't miss how Broken melted against him or how tightly he clung to him,but he didn't mention that.Instead,he said,"Great,now let's go find our flock."

*

"Hey Jitters,long time no see."

Jitters smiled tiredly as Opportunist approached, sitting down next to him on the makeshift beds that Hunted made.

After Hunted had calmed down,he was quick to fall back into his instincts and habits.He suggested that they make camp here for the night,and nobody objected to that,too tired after the events of today. Soon enough,they had a fire going,and beds made of grass and leaves to sleep on.

Opportunist's gaze wandered around the camp. Hunted was crouched low,staring into the fire,but whenever someone moved,his head was instantly turning in that direction,alert written all over his face.

Cold,who Opportunist hadn't expected to stick around-but when Jitters had come out of his chant, he gave Cold an almost defeated look and said, "Well,I suppose you'll leave,now that you've seen it." But Cold merely shook his head and replied with, "No.I don't think I want to right now."

Opportunist had no fucking clue what they were on about,but at least Cold was with them now.

The icy bird had merely looked at his bed in boredom,and was lying down,limbs and wings glued to his sides,and if you didn't know who he was,you'd think he was dead.

Contrarian was on the other side of the camp,using his bed as a place to rest only his head,as he was sleeping upside down,his body leaning against a tree.Opportunist had no idea how he was comfortable,or how he could possibly be sleeping in that position,but he hoped he got dizzy from all the blood going to his head.That would show him.

He still hadn't forgotten how Contrarian pushed him out of the way as Hunted and Stubborn ran past them.His brain had stopped working,and all he could manage to think about was the fact that Contrarian helped him.He could've let Stubborn run him over,but he didn't,and that scared Opportunist because he had no idea what that meant.

He understood the meaning behind Jitters trusting him-he showed him his true self,for only a few minutes,and they both came to an understanding that finding everyone was the top priority.Did Contrarian see that as well?Or was this entire thing a joke to him?

"Hey,"Jitters whispered,nudging him with his wing and bringing him back to reality."What are you thinking about?"

"Contrarian."

"Wha-Why?"

"He told an awful pun,so now he has to die."

"Ah,understandable."

They both caught each other's gaze,and then they suddenly burst out into quiet giggles,careful not to wake the other two up.

It felt-nice,to just sit and laugh about nothing serious for once.Opportunist wasn't used to it,not familiar with talking without a motive or a reason behind it,just-chatting.

Was this why Contrarian talked such nonsense?Was this why he said that terrible pun?To make everything not be so heavy?

"Good job on getting Cold on board,"he whispered to Jitters,"I'm honestly surprised he's still here."

Jitters shrugged,looking over at the bird in question,watching as the icy breath left his mouth. "I'm just as surprised as you are,but I guess I just had something he wanted."

Jitters looked back at him and said,"I take it everything went okay with the monster?"He nodded,and Jitters smiled,but now he was hugging himself and nervously glancing around them."Do you think more will show up?"

"I don't know,but I'm pretty sure Stubborn is the only pain we have to worry about."But that didn't satisfy Jitters though,who kept fearfully looking around him,hugging himself tightly.

Opportunist sighed,scooting closer so that he could drape his wing over Jitters,who froze,but didn't freak out at the touch.Opportunist quickly looked at the fire in front of them,so that Jitters couldn't see the nervous look in his own eyes as he said,"You should give us more credit,Jitters.Hunted alone could probably protect us from ten of those things,and hey-that clown and I managed to escape without a scratch.So I dunno,just-have faith in us."

He knew that advice like that was rich coming from him,but he wasn't used to comforting someone and trying to mean it.Usually,all he had to do was reassure the Decider that what he was doing was the correct choice,and in the end,it didn't really matter.

Opportunist had no experience with trying to make someone feel better because he wanted to,but judging from the way Jitters relaxed under his touch,he must've done something right.

They sat there in a comfortable silence,just watching the fire glow in front of them,until Hunted caught Opportunist's attention again.This whole time,he had been scurrying around,making sure the fire had enough sticks to keep it going,and that Cold and Contrarian were okay.Although Hunted's face did scrunch up in confusion at Contrarian's sleeping position.

But then Hunted silently walked over to Cold again, and he just stared down at him for a few seconds, before leaning down to rub his face against Cold's neck.

Jitters stiffened underneath his wing,and Opportunist just shared a look of bafflement with him,as Hunted gently rubbed Cold's neck,who did nothing but lazily reach a hand up to ruffle Hunted's head.

"What's he doing?"Opportunist asked,but Jitters just shrugged with an incredulous smile,watching as Hunted then went over to Contrarian.He actually looked a little bit hesitant at first,before ultimately deciding to cautiously rub his nose against his face.

Contrarian giggled,and soon enough,he was falling over,making Hunted jump back in surprise.But as Contrarian flopped to the ground,he grinned up at Hunted,reaching his arms out,as if inviting him for a hug.Opportunist saw the way Hunted's eyes lit up,and then he instantly flew into his arms,holding the other bird tight and rubbing his face all over his neck,face and chest.

Jitters giggled at the two,while Opportunist was just trying to figure out what was going on.When Hunted finished doing whatever it was,Opportunist lifted a hand up and whispered,"Psst!Hunty!"

Instantly,Hunted stood up,body alert and in a defensive position,until he realised that it was just Opportunist talking,and he pinned him with a gaze so powerful that Opportunist actually felt a little in danger.

"Hunted,what are you doing?"Jitters asked,but Hunted continued to stare at Opportunist,until the next thing he knew-Hunted was running straight for him.

Opportunist scrambled on the spot,but there was no escaping Hunted and his speed,and he let a loud,"Oof!"out as Hunted tackled him to the ground,followed by the cackling of Contrarian and even the light chuckling of Cold.

But Opportunist couldn't focus on any of that right now.

Because Hunted was gripping him by the shoulders,rubbing his face against his neck,not rough,just firm enough that Opportunist's head was being moved slightly from the action,and he sighed deeply,as if he had been waiting for this.

"Need to scent you,"Hunted whispered,rubbing his cheek against him and softly petting the feathers that Opportunist tried so hard to keep in place,but he could feel them all puffing up now and sticking out."Flock needs to be scented-so I know where you are-and you know that you are not alone."

Opportunist couldn't think.His whole body was frozen,while still heating up at the physical affection,and he stared up at the stars in the sky with wide eyes.

His body was shaking and his mind was full of mush,and there was no sweet talking or charming that could get him out of this-and a tiny part of him secretly wished it never end.

His breath hitched as Hunted rubbed closer to his neck,and he felt Hunted whisper against his skin, "Good-you're good here."

Opportunist has never felt anything like this before. He's never felt this warmth that was blazing beneath his feathers,setting every nerve alight,as if his body had been starving for something like this. For what,touch?Was he that pathetic that a single bit of affection felt this good to him?It felt like an explosion of heat and sweetness was whirling around in his brain,and all he could do was crave more.

Warm.Everything was so warm and soft and oh God he's never felt like this before-

A giggle pulled his out of his spiral for a single second.

Jitters was gazing down at him,a fond look in his eyes as he simply said,"Cute."and that was when Opportunist truly knew he was fucked.

He didn't have a mask on.Everything that he was actually feeling was just on display for the world to see.There was too much warmth to even think about putting on an act,or pretending that this wasn't affecting him.Opportunist was stripped bare of his weapons.

What was wrong with him?First he was laughing at Contrarian's jokes,and now he was getting overwhelmed from some cuddling.This was not how this was supposed to go.This is not the way he should be acting,or how to get people to trust him. Back in the cabins with the Decider,there was no line that he wouldn't cross if it meant keeping Him safe.He would deceive and lie and take control, because that was what he was all about-taking advantage to gain the upper hand,because that would keep them all safe.

But the Decider wasn't here anymore,and all that's left is Opportunist,and he doesn't know whether that's a good thing or not.

[porkcutletbowl44]

Pls post deleted scenes 🙇🏽‍♀️

Hi anon! I'm sorry this took so long, but I wanted to accumulate as much deleted scenes as I could until I started running out of the intrusive ideas for now 🤣

A lot of these won't make sense, hence why they are deleted because I have deleted a lot of scenes because I change my mind a lot, most are just funny replies, my notes to read for later, and just... Feral in general lmao.

So, yes, deleted for a reason! (I will be adding to it if I come across more out of pocket shit)

(probably riddled with spelling and Grammar mistakes)

Far From Perfect Deleted Scenes

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

(Spoiler free! at least one of these scenes is NSFW)

-----

That comment strikes a nerve, and for a fraction of a second, Keegan's composure falters.

But he quickly regains his composure, and a flicker of irritation shows in his eyes. "Twat?" he repeats, his voice just as cool as before. "That's a new one. I prefer handsome devil, personally."

"More like arrogant prick." Simon replied with distain.

-----

He knew that Simon was a strong guy, and he had no doubt that he could hold his own in a fight. But he also knew that strength wasn't everything.

He glanced at Simon struggling with the barbell, silently amused. He chuckled to himself and leaned over to Hesh, who was watching the scene unfold with a smirk on his face.

"Y'know, for a big tough guy, he's got some pretty small dick vibes," Keegan quipped, taking a drag from his cigarette.

Hesh snickered, trying to muffle his laughs.

"Yeah, he's overcompensating for something," he said, his eyes fixed on Simon.

"Probably said micro penis."

-----

Soap only shook his head with a scoff, muttering out, "Bloody hell..." under his breath, before leaning over and smacking Simon upside the back of the head.

He grumbled out in irritation, "Get yerself together, ya prick."

-----

Fawn looks up from her coloring book, looking over at her cow.

"Dad...you're a heifer. Just like my cow."

-----

Simon huffs in annoyance, you swear you saw his eye twitch to hold back his anger.

"You think you can just excuse your actions? Moving on like nothing mattered between us?"

"I swear to GOD I'm gonna invest in a meat hook next to make the other side of your ribs to match."

-----

[this shit is ass delete immediately, uncontinue, swap for 3rd]

"Do you remember when we first met?"

It was a dumb question, he knows you do. You’ve told him countless times that you’ll never forget.

You shake your head, confused, "Simon, what is this about?-"

His large hands moved from your arms to your thighs, pushing them apart so he could step even closer to you.

His warm hands gently grip your soft flesh, his fingers squeezing your thighs gently.

"Just answer me," he pleaded.

He wanted to get closer, but he’ll hold himself back.

"Do you remember when we first met?" He repeated.

"Yes," you whisper.

A small, halfhearted laugh escaped from him, but it lacked any humor.

"What was your first thought o' me?"

He knew the answer to this, again, it’s a dumb question, but he wanted to hear it from you. He needed to.

"It was dark, all I saw was your mask and I thought you were gonna kill me..." You nervously smiled, trying to suppress it.

He almost smiled— but he didn’t, not just yet.

Not when he was standing between your legs, his fingers digging into your thighs.

"An' when you saw m'face?"

His head tilted down towards yours, making sure you had no choice but to look up at him with those pleading eyes of yours.

"I...." You trailed off, taking in a breath. "I don't know how to answer that."

His hands on your thighs squeezed gently, as if trying to keep you there. He was losing his patience, fast. He had to keep it together. He can’t get angry, it would wreck everything.

"Say it," He urges. "What did y'think when you saw m'face for the first time?"

"I thought... Maybe you weren't such a asshole after all. You trusted me,"

His thumb moves to start rubbing small circles on your inner thigh, his mind remembering how it’d move between your legs.

"Y'were the only one I trusted with a lot o' things," he said hoarsely, his eyes scanning your face.

His touch was making you shiver, he knew. But he wasn’t going to do anything irrational, especially when he knows you're still hurt, mad at him.

"The only one I trusted with m'heart," he continued. "The only one that I trusted with my life... Y'know that."

-----

"You just said y'would. You'd consider it."

He steps closer to you again, the distance between your bodies almost nonexistent thanks to his fat chest. "You'd consider going out with another guy, just like that?"

"Well, it's a good thing I'm free to do that if I want to, huh? Considering YOURE THE ONE WHO LEFT ME FOR A FUCKING BIMBO!"

-----

"I’ll go pack up her stuff if y'wanna go pump."

"Im gonna use the electric one finally, see how it works." You brush off

He didn’t respond to your statement, simply nodding his head in acknowledgement.

Though, he made a mental note to buy you a better electric breast pump. He’d been meaning to, for sometime, but just didn’t get around to it.

He gave you a light pat on the hip, signaling that he would head over to the nursery to start packing Fawn’s overnight stuff.

You sat Fawn on her play blanket, and fished around for the pump.

You opened the box and read the instructions.

In the other room, Simon headed into the nursery and began to gather up the items he’d need to pack into a small overnight bag: a couple of onesies, a change of clothes, nappies, powder, wipes. The usual supplies for a baby.

It didn’t take him long to get everything together. He sat down on the bed near the nursery and began pulling things out of the bag, double checking he had everything. Simon checked his watch and glanced towards the door, curious how long it was taking you to set up the breast pump.

Normally, it didn’t take long, just a few minutes of getting everything ready. It should’ve been done by now. But you were taking a long time, a noticeably longer time. His curiosity was starting to get the better of him.

He quietly walked to the door, silently slipping into the hallway and going to the living room.

Simon continued to slowly walk down the hallway, looking down when he heard you mumbling to yourself. He saw you sat on the couch, holding the breast pump in one hand and the instructions in the other.

He stopped in front of the couch, crossing his arms over his chest, an amused look on his face.

"Everything alright, love?"

You huff silently, "It says to be placed with the opening at the top, but there's two openings..."

Simon stepped up to the couch, sitting down on the cushion next to you. He looked at the breast pump with you, seeing exactly what you were talking about.

"Y'don't say." He responded, unable to keep the smirk from playing at the corners of his lips.

"Maybe..." You capped the top one, and stuffed it down your shirt and held it in place.

You pressed the on button, and it started to work

He raised an eyebrow, looking at the sight of the pump resting against your chest. The way it sat, pushed against your chest, looked uncomfortable. He reached over to adjust it for you.

"It’s not uncomfortable?" Simon questioned, hand hovering in the air.

"No, it's just...cold." you shrug, letting him hold it in place.

His eyebrows furrowed in thought as you informed him that the pump was cold. Which made sense, considering it was sitting against your bare skin. He adjusted it slightly, trying to ensure it was secure.

"Right, right…" he responded, his voice a tad lower than usual.

Simon found his eyes drawn back to the sight of the breast pump, sitting against your chest.

"At least it's the right titty size."

You huff, deadpanning at him. By the time you were done, you were filling up the biggest mason jar you had with milk. Simon sat there, watching the jar you had the pump connected to fill up with an impressive amount of milk. He was… in awe, mildly shocked at the amount.

"Jesus… that’s a lot o' milk." He mumbled.

"Liquid gold," you smirk, circling the milk around the jar.

"Guess so," he hummed as he watched you circle the milk around the jar. His eyes were still fixated on your tits, particularly the area where the pump was sitting against.

He could feel his jeans growing tighter by the second, and quickly tried to find a distraction. He cleared his throat, trying to think of something to say. He knew that if he just sat there and stared at your breasts, he’d get distracted and things would escalate quickly.

"Y'know, this new pump works… efficiently." he commented, watching as you held the jar.

You nod along, holding up a finger for him to listen to the whirrr of the machine

He went quiet, listening intently to the sound the breast pump was making. He had to admit, the new one was faster, and much quieter than the one you were previously using.

Simon hummed in thought.

"Y'were right 'bout the new pump bein' better. Quiet too,"

-----

"No?" Simon repeated, his eyebrows raising in surprise at her reaction. "You don’t think they are nice?"

"No, because momma always says 'romance is dead', and 'men ain't shit', whatever that means..." She explained casually.

Simon sputters in shock and laughter, "Don't say bad words,"

"Sorry..."

-----

[black jack or crazy eights]

Hesh looks up from his cards with a pout.

"I'm not a sore loser, I just don't like cheaters," he retorts, his words laced with teasing humor.

"You're just a filthy cheater."

"Womp womp, L, ratio, get absolutely shit on—"

-------

[trashed for the better note]

Simon is home from his long day at HQ, locking the deadbolt behind him with a call of your name.

"In here, Si! I can't really walk fast..." you called out.

"'M comin'!" Simon shouted back, his voice a bit rougher than usual.

Simon eyes the kettle already cooling down from its boil, smiling appreciatively.

"Damn, look at ya... lil rascal getting ready to pop, huh?"

You smiled softly, leaning on the counter.

"Yeah, ready to pop my bladder. Been laying on it all day," you rubbed the back of your neck.

"I swear, you didn't have to piss so much before getting pregnant." Simon replied, turning the kettle off the eye.

"Then again, y'know how it is..." He shrugged. "Nothin' but a big ol' baby to the back of your bladder." he said, taking a couple of steps towards you, his hand reaching out to support your back.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his masked cheek.

"I'm ready for this thing to get outta me... I miss having sushi." You whined pitifully.

"Jus' a couple more weeks." he replied, resting his hand on your swollen stomach.

Simon looked down at you, his fingers tracing a small circle.

"Sushi an' wine. Thas what ya missin' the most, eh?" he asked.

"I can deal without wine, but I'd kill for a snow crab roll." You replied with a playful seriousness.

Simon scoffed, though it held no genuine disdain as he laughed. "Yeah, thas you just 'bout. Kill for food, sleep, an' me. What else?" he teased.

He drums his fingers on your belly, "Jus' hold on, yeah? 'M sure we can get you some sushi after things settle down."

"yeah." You smiled up at him, moving out of the way for him.

Simon chuckled, starting to go about the task of making tea.

"Not to mention the little one will be out n' 'bout before we know it." he said, looking down at you.

"An' then we'll have to deal with that. We're gonna have t'get used to bein' tired all the damn time... or just ya, really."

You glared at him slightly, dipping your pretzels in peanut butter.

"'M just sayin', 'm already used to bein' tired." Simon said with a small, smug smile, leaning against the counter.

"An' you'll be the one that's gonna have t'get up in the middle o' the night... feed him an' all that. So 'm gonna have me a lil sleepin' buddy." Simon joked, chuckling again... before realizing what he was saying.

"That uh, that sounded better in my head."

"'him'?" You looked at him confused.

"He... He... It... It's..." Simon replied, his voice growing frustrated as he tried to explain himself. "Whatever it is."

Simon paused for a few seconds, taking a deep breath to try to gather his thoughts

"I mean... I'd be fine no matter what it is." he offered, "I just.. just want it t'be healthy, Y'know?"

"yeah, I know. You think it's a boy?" You asked curiously, munching away.

"I mean..." Simon muttered, his tone growing serious, "I hope it's a boy... I, just,"

Simon sighed, "Just wanna be able to do the things with 'em. Take him out an' about. Teach 'im the things that I think a Dad should teach 'is son."

Simon paused again, letting out a small sigh.

"Sorry... I-I," Simon's voice had gone quiet.

what are you complaining about? It should be enough to have a healthy and happy child... right?

Your eyes softened.

"I get it...you wanna be the dad you didn't have."

"Exactly." Simon muttered, "I don't wanna be... well, I don't wanna be him."

"God, this kid is gonna be glued to your side." You giggle.

"I hope he is." Simon muttered, chuckling softly as he realized how he sounded.

"But... I want 'em to not be afraid to speak up and tell me 'bout stuff. I want 'em to not be afraid to let me know how they're feeling. I want 'em to come to me when they're sad or excited or hurt. I never *got* all that.. and.. well.. I want to give him the childhood I never had, you know?"

"you're already a great dad." You murmured affectionately.

Simon scoffed, though it held no genuine malice as he let out a small, soft chuckle. "Nah... haven't been a Dad yet. Just a... an expectin' father who's gonna soon be a Dad."

He paused a moment, looking down at your stomach, his hand shifting to rub it.

"The baby's still cookin' in there... we still got a ways to go before we start doin' the Dad stuff."

"well...you practically raised your brother. I think you have most of the skills already," you murmured carefully.

Simon stiffened slightly, his fingers tightening a little on your stomach for a moment, before settling once again.

"Right... well... he wasn't my son. He was my brother."

Simon sighed as he continued to massage your stomach.

"It's different." he said shortly, the topic of his brother something that Simon had always been sensitive about, even if he rarely spoke of it.

"it is different, but its still the same necessities, y'know? Feeding, bathing, bedtime..." You trailed off.

"I suppose..." Simon grumbled, his tone quiet, and his grip on your stomach now loosened, his hand now resting gently.

"I just want to be a better father than mine was... better than his. I wanna make sure this kid gets raised proper, y'know?"

"Just wanna be the father that a kid deserves. Not the alcoholic, narcissistic prick that I got." Simon grumbled softly, his words holding no malice, just the facts of his own miserable childhood.

"you're gonna be such a a good father..." You sighed out tenderly, cupping his cheek.

"I sure as hell 'ope so." Simon muttered, nodding as he looked at your hands on his cheek.

"I couldn't bare for our kid to experience even half the trauma that I did. Can't let 'em go through that, y'know?"

"you will." You assured. "You're not your father's son anymore." You shook your head. "You are your own person, top of the Riley family tree."

"Hmm.." Simon muttered softly, nodding as he took a deep breath.

"I know, but I can't help but... I just get scared." he admitted, looking up at you and meeting your eyes.

"Just the idea of havin' to take care 'o somethin'... someone other'n myself... it's a big responsibility." he breathed in again and let out a shuddering sigh, looking back to your swollen stomach.

"we are in this together, okay?" You murmured, trying to wash away his worries.

--------------

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

In a World of Boys, He's a Gentleman

Words: 1748

Warnings: references to cheating, name calling, probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever

DC Masterlist Main Masterlist 1989 (TV) Event Masterlist Join My Taglist

This takes place pre Dick. Maybe little bit of being Batman? Basically Bruce is still really known as a playboy, but unlike many of my other ones here, this Brucie is a good boy and isn't gonna cheat because hell nah. I also am having that, like Bruce, Y/N had her own reputation because that just makes sense to me

Also, Y/N is also rich in her own right, which is why there are references of her and Bruce growing up together and other things like that. So yeah, yippee

The swimsuit that Y/N wears is described to be a two piece, but not that it shows skin or not so imagine that however you wish you; if you see it as a bikini or one with a top that covers everything and has bottoms basically making it a one-piece

This is the "Slut!" part of my 1989 event! You can also see this as the one for "Blank Space" since I wasn't doing one fully

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

Y/N stood next to Jessica Sturwich as she talked about her husbands new investments. The sun beat down on them as they stood on the yacht that Bruce had recently begun to own. Her eyes drifted around, trying to drown out the sound of Jessica's annoyingly high pitched nasally voice.

She laughed to herself as she saw Elizabeth Bynes in, what she would describe as, a flamingo pink bikini, shamelessly flirting with Bruce. A small smile graced her lips as she saw him throw her a "help me" look.

She looked back at Jessica and gave a small, fake laugh. "I'm sorry, but I'm gonna take my leave now, Bruce is calling me over."

As she turned on her heel and made her way towards him, she tried to not let what Jessica said hit her. "Hey, it's just the guy of the week. Not like you have to do everything he asks."

All she did was turn and shoot her a sweet smile, "Why don't you tell something similar to your husband's mistresses." Before turning back and making her way to Bruce.

As she reached him, she gently grabbed his bicep and kissed his cheek before smiling at Elizabeth. "Betty! I haven't seen you in such a long time! How's your mother?"

She watched as Elizabeth's smile faded. Betty had always been her least favorite nickname, plus Y/N knew that Elizabeth knew that she had been caught.

"She's been well." She watched as Elizabeth glanced at Bruce before looking at her again. "Who knew that the two richest people in Gotham would end up together."

Y/N hummed, "It makes sense." She smiled up at Bruce, who's arm fell down to her waist, before looking back at Elizabeth, "Also helps that he's much better than the other men I've been with."

"Right...and which number is he?"

She felt the way his arm tightened around her waist before he spoke. "I think that it's more of which number she is for me." She listened to his fake laugh before he sighed, "I think that we should finish up here and head back to shore. Why don't you go locate Adam Becker, I'm sure that he'd like you by his side at his gala tonight." He started to push him and her away, "See you later."

The two of walked away, out from the sight of everyone, before she leaned her head into his chest. Small tears gathering in her eyes. She hated the words that were always said about her. Even if they weren't lies, she did go from guy to guy...person to person. But she didn't sleep with them all. Only...at most half. Many of them weren't even relationships she had wanted. They were relationships her family had put her with.

But this...this wasn't it. This was one she had wanted.

Bruce gently kissed the top of her head before mumbling against her hair. "We don't have to go tonight." He tightened the grip around her waist, "We can stay at the manor, swim in the pool under the moonlight." She smiled against his bare chest as he rubbed circles into her lower back, his thumbs occasionally toying with top of her swim bottoms. "I could tell Alfred to leave us alone and we could just...be grown adults, alone, in a big pool."

She giggled before looking up at him, "As fun was that sounds." She gently grabbed his arms from behind her, moving them in from to hold his hands. "But we promised to be there. I already told my parents to not go cause I'd be there on their behalf."

He sighed, "Well...always can do that afterwards."

"Are you trying to get me to have sex in a pool, Mr. Wayne?"

He shrugged, "Not like you've never done it before."

"You wound me."

He smiled innocently, "Nothing around about that sweetheart."

She carefully moved from him as the bell rang that they were back at the port. "I think that I will meet you at yours before the gala tonight Mr. Wayne."

He gave her a lovesick smile as she walked away, "See you tonight, Miss. Y/L/N."

--------

Y/N stood next to Bruce as he talked to Lex Luthor. She adjusted her stance every once and a while, attempting to ignore all of the eyes on her. She knew why they were there, after all, she always ended up breaking up with guys at the third gala she went to with them. This was their third.

Everyone was expecting it to happen...but it wasn't going to.

"Y'know, I was surprised to hear that you and Miss. Y/N Y/L/N were together." She turned her head back to the other man, a small smile on her face as Bruce held her tighter. "Maybe you'll be the one to tie her down."

Her smile faltered and she move uncomfortably as the words left Lex's mouth. But before she could cover her uncomfortability with an awkward joke, Bruce came in. "I don't see it as tying down as much as I see it as me possibly being someone she finds safety in."

She looked up at him with a smile, a real happy smile, as she leaned into him. He was right. For the first time in years, she felt like she could be herself with him. Be...not the dumb rich girl she had pretended to be for so long.

She had been so lost in her own world that she hadn't realized that Bruce had pulled her away from Lex and the rest of the crowd until she felt her back collide with a wall and he brought his hand to her face gently.

"You were upset. What happened?"

She sighed "People were staring."

"And?" He leaned in and kissed her, "You look so fucking gorgeous tonight, of course they're going to."

"But that's not--"

"You're all dressed up, let them stare."

She allowed her lips to form a small smile, "We're both dressed up, so I guess...I guess they might as well be looking at us."

He smirked, "Really?"

"And...I think, maybe for once, it might be worth being called a slut." She leaned in before whispering, "Or maybe I'm just drunk."

He tilted his head to the side in confusion his lips opening slightly, as if he was about to say something. But they closed before a gently smile and look fell upon his face. "Why don't we go back out there, hm?"

She smiled gently and nodded, "Okay."

--------

Y/N laughed at the front page of the newspaper as Bruce came and wrapped his arms around her. She lifted the paper for him to see and soon enough his own chuckle filled the air. "World renowned rich, billionaire, heiress, and slut; Y/N Y/L/N looks like she might have actually fallen in love with billionaire and philanthropist Bruce Wayne as she gave him this look last night at Adam Becker's charity gala. Has she really found the one or is this just her current boy of the month?" He looked down at her, "What do you say?"

She hummed, "I think that they looked at my drunk expressions and try to read my mind."

He kissed her temple before speaking, "I mean to say, you hardly had anything to drink to drink last night. What did you mean by being drunk?"

She smiled up at him, "Not from alcohol." She tilted her head to the opposite side of his, allowing her lips to ghost the shell of his ear. The words leaving her mouth before she meant to let them, her still half asleep mind not fully thinking. "I meant drunk from love."

She felt herself and him freeze, both of them processing what she had just said. The L word. Something she had contemplated saying for so long, but kept convincing herself to not to out of fear for what he would say just slipped out of her lips.

But instead of anger or him laughing at her, his lips formed a smile. "You love me?" She silently nodded and he turned her around before kissing her intensely. He pulled away, but only to put his forehead onto hers. "I love you too."

It led to her swallowing hard, "But what if it blows up in our faces...in your really pretty face?"

He shrugged, "Then it does." He kissed her gently before brushing hair from her face, "I love you so much. I was just scared that you didn't."

"And I was scared that you didn't love me."

He smiled, "I guess we're just two idiots."

She smirked slightly, "Two slutty idiots."

He laughed and nodded, "Yes, two very slutty idiots."

--------

Y/N sobbed as she held onto her stomach, trying to comfort herself. She knew she shouldn't let it affect her, but she couldn't help it. She tried to ignore the television as it played the news channel talking about Bruce with another woman last night. She sobbed, she knew Bruce. But it didn't that she knew that everyone wanted him. But she knew it was just one of those issues when someone was at the right place at the wrong time...or maybe this case it was wrong place, right time.

She barely heard the door to the bedroom click before she felt Bruce's arms wrap around her, whispering into her ear that it was okay. She sobbed into his shoulder. She didn't understand why this was hurting her in the way that it was.

"I'm so sorry baby, I tried to push her off of me before. Please believe me. I'll...I'll do anything to prove it to you."

She breathed shakily, "I believe you. I just...I don't know why this is hurting me the way it is."

He moved to gently take her head in her hands to make her look at him. "Because...this is the longest real relationship either of us have had." He brushed hair from her face, "Trust me when I say that I never want to hurt you. Not on purpose at least."

She nodded and buried her head against his shoulder as he held her tightly. She refused to let him go. Refused to let him get away from her.

She refused to let him go as it felt like he was one of the only gentlemen in a world full of boys.

[chibimui]

The Apothecary Diaries LN3 Thoughts - Ch14: His Former Majesty

LN 3: Prologue-ch2 - ch3-5 - ch6-8 - ch9-11 - ch12-13

Are you surprised I dedicated an entire post to one chapter? Well honestly so was I, but chapter 14 drops so much information about the royal family, Jinshi, Anshi, as well as the former Emperor. In hindsight, there is no way I couldn't have a million and one thoughts about this chapter.

It's also extra hard for me not to be extra-invested in Jinshi/royal family focused chapters because we get them so rarely. Jinshi is truly a character we learn about drip by little drip. Especially up to this point, and this chapter gives us basically a whole stream. It's such a gift! If it weren't for the summer retreat chapters later on this would probably have been my most favourite chapter of this volume.

(Warning: These thoughts may contain spoilers from later light novels all the way up until LN15.)

Chapter 14 - His Former Majesty

So, a fun thing with reading in Japanese is there is something called "gikun" (義訓) which is when you have a kanji with an irregular furigana reading attached to it. This creates fun things like how the former Emperor is described as a 幼女趣味 and the furigana reading for it is ロリコン (lolicon).

I don't think there is an actual proper reading for 幼女趣味 so the irregular furigana makes sense, but the characters literally read as "young girl hobby" which... I think most people can understand what that implies. Anyway, the reason for this random tangent? I just want everyone to know, I think it's hilarious that the Emperor is literally called a "lolicon".

ANYWAY. Moving on.

One of the things I enjoy about all these little court politic details is how much it reveals about each of the characters without actually explicitly saying anything. The implication here is that Gyokuyou is modest, Lihua a bit more ostentatious, but befitting of her rank, and Lady Loulan is just... ridiculous. And then there is Lishu who is trying her best, but gets stuck awkwardly in the middle--not doing enough to befit her rank (presumably), but also not doing so little as to make it seem purposeful so it's obvious she's just kind of floundering. Poor girl.

No someone please help this poor girl out seriously.

When I think about future events, I realize this moment is actually quite significant. One of Maomao's stipulations about not wanting a relationship with Jinshi is because she does not want to become enemies with Lady Gyokuyou and I feel like part of that comes from her experience acting as both Jinshi and Lady Gyokuyou's retainer. She hasn't even done anything necessarily wrong and is already getting a small taste of what it would be like should Hongniang even get the smallest inkling that Maomao may have negative intentions towards her lady and it's not great.

We also get this passage a bit later:

At her core, Maomao doesn't want to hurt anybody nor does she want anyone to be hurt by others. It makes me realize that this shuffling back and forth was probably quite stressful for Maomao.

This is so cute and I love little character-building details like this. Suiren is very much a side character, but I love how Natsu-sensei still takes the time to let us learn a bit about her.

Okay. This next part. I'm basically just going to screenshot all the pages and highlight what stood out to me because there is so much.

Besides the introduction chapter to this LN, this is some of the most information we ever get about Jinshi all at once in regards to his past and why he is the way he is.

As far as LN1 we already had snippets and pieces of Jinshi becoming obsessed with his favourite toys, but now we come across actual evidence of just how much Jinshi loved his toys from Maomao's observation. This is a boy who could've literally had any number of toys he wanted, and all he wanted was the thing he already had in this hands (or which were taken out of his hands).

And it's so clear to everyone around Jinshi who his current "favourite toy" is. The thing that really drives me crazy about this specific metaphor is that typically equating people to toys is done so with a negative connotation. This is played straight all the way through LN1 where Jinshi explicitly calls Maomao his new "play piece" and we get confirmation of growth when Gaoshun acknowledges that Jinshi does not see Maomao as "just a toy" anymore. Now though, we get that flipped on its head because we see just how much Jinshi loved his toys and how much of a compliment it is for Maomao to be Jinshi's "favourite"--he's never going to let her go.

At this point in time though, Maomao still doesn't reciprocate and her answer to Suiren's question in this moment is a clear sign of that. She may not see Jinshi negatively, but she certainly is still many, many, steps away from seeing him as anything but her boss, and this is on purpose by Maomao. At this point Maomao has many avenues to become closer to Jinshi if she just allowed herself, but she doesn't--and so I love how Suiren forces the connection a bit by sharing something intimate about Jinshi that Maomao would never think to pry into herself.

And you know what I love most? That when Suiren provides the smallest nugget, Maomao immediately takes the bait and starts asking questions. Because no matter how much Maomao tries to suppress it, she is genuinely curious about Jinshi and we know that Maomao is only curious about things she actually cares about.

Finally, Maomao's last observation about how people treat Jinshi is an interesting one. Even though Maomao does understand Jinshi a bit better now, she clearly still doesn't see the full picture. She still doesn't connect the dots of what it means that she is allowed to see this side of him--because it as an allowance, not just from Jinshi, but from Suiren and Gaoshun. Oh well, it's baby steps for our girl. Truly the teeny-tiniest of baby steps.

Phew. Alright. Moving on to the resolution of the mystery and stuff about the royal family! So we learn the Emperor was an avid painter and basically inhaled so much chemicals he managed to stop his body from decomposing. Wild stuff. Things that stood out to me:

First, outside of Maomao paying attention to Jinshi, I just personally find Jinshi's reaction quite interesting. I truly wish we had access to Jinshi's thoughts throughout this whole chapter because Maomao clearly doesn't care at all, Anshi clearly has very mixed feelings towards the former Emperor, but Jinshi? Jinshi is a total mystery when it comes to his thoughts on his "father", but it's clear that this new information left him quite unsettled and I want to know why.

I also want to point out, it's interesting that Natsu-sensei decided to make the Emperor's painting hobby be this huge secret because in Chinese history there is the concept of the "four arts" (music, tactics, calligraphy, and art). The mark of a true scholar-intellect was someone who mastered all four, so in my mind I feel like you would actually want people to know he was a great painter--make him look better than he really was. Buuuuut I guess this is just proof that Li is definitely not Ancient China.

Okay - let's talk about Anshi. She doesn't show up much, but the small bit we do learn about her is incredibly revealing.

This entire opening paragraph from Anshi's POV and then the memory of her first encounter with the Emperor is just...

I feel like this gets across much more in the Japanese - but Anshi sounds so detached when going through her memories. You can feel how she is shutting everything down because if she doesn't she will break down and fall apart knowing what became of her life. Yes--she is the Empress Dowager, but at what cost? Well, we read about the cost. Ugh. It's so dark.

The description of both herself and the Emperor in this memory is so striking. The way Natsu-sensei framed things so that somehow the Emperor is the one who comes off as more pitiable than the literal 10 year old girl who was sent to him to be used.

Then we switch to feeling her anger as she describes when, how and why she became pregnant with her second son. The utter contempt she holds for this man, not just because of how he actively hurt her or others, but also that he discarded her. How much had she held back all those years of having her life threatened, having assassins sent after her, of being scorned, pitied, and looked down on for having the Emperors only legitimized son, and then to be "forgotten" by the man who did this to her. Oof.

I cannot believe this piece of info was dropped so casually and then becomes so integral to events that occur later on. I love it. I cannot wait for anime watchers to have their minds blown.

And finally at the end of Anshi's musings I have some uh... corrections/editing to make.

1) This sentence should be part of the previous paragraph. Anshi is reflecting on the realization that she actually loved her second son. I've seen comments with people presuming Anshi made the switch because she couldn't stand to see her son which was born out of rape, but that's not true. She loved her son regardless of how he had been conceived.

2) The entire paragraph about "there on the wall..." - unfortunately appears to have been interpreted wrongly in the English LN's. I don't blame the translator for this--it's very ambiguous and I feel like I only see the connection now because of what occurs in future chapters. In this paragraph Anshi is actually looking at Jinshi and reflecting on how much he looks like the former Emperor. The last part I underlined should read more like "But that person was gone, and few would still recognize the appearance before them that had once existed decades ago".

All in all, minor things, but I remember being very confused at this part when reading the English LN the first time. I didn't understand what Anshi had "suddenly realized" and what painting was being referenced. My first thought had been Anshi realizing SHE was at the center of the painting. I think it's meant to be a bit ambiguous though as Anshi continues to grapple with just how messed up and twisted her relationship and feelings towards the former Emperor were, and how unaware she was of his thoughts towards her.

Finally we hit the end where Jinshi has a brief conversation with Anshi. I've always loved this moment and I wish it was ten pages longer. Mostly because I genuinely find Anshi quite a fascinating character. She's frequently described as "too kind" (and it's often implied in a negative way), but through this chapter we realize she's a woman who is made of reinforced steel. She's a survivor of hell and back and then appears to have made it her goal to stop as much atrocity from happening to others as best she can.

We also get an understanding of just how little direct and open love Jinshi really got growing up, and that it was a purposeful, although regretful, decision. Even with Suiren and Gaoshun in the picture - they are attendants, staff--they can only show him so much love. No wonder why he has such low confidence in himself.

Even so, we understand through Anshi's musings that it's not like she doesn't love Jinshi. In fact, it's clear that son or grandson, she desperately wanted to protect him and keep him safe. And so before they part she gives some final words of advice.

I love how Anshi's advice speaks to her acknowledgment that taking Jinshi's toys, hiding her feelings from him, did not actually help him the way she had wanted it to. So instead she changes her tactic and advises JInshi that if he is going to have favourites to hide them better lest other people find out and use them against him instead.

Does Jinshi do this? Hilariously, Not. At. All. Everyone and their moms know who Jinshi's favourite is. You can't blame Anshi for trying though.

And that's that for this chapter. Happy new year folks!

[ch15-17]

[dark-frosted-heart]

Why am I so invested in this??????? I'm in pain right now (◞‸◟；)

Rai cares for MC a lot but can't let himself to actually get close to and love her because of how he always ends up hurting the people he loves with his fire (however twisted his form of love may be). So he draws a line between them. And yet he's so unfair to her because of how much he dotes on and leads her on. Pretending that he's only doing what he does because he's a concerned boss that wants to help her get a good night's sleep. Not to mention how possessive he is of her.

Takes her out on a date to the aquarium. Something he wants to try out to see if it'll help her relax, he says. I SEE YOU RAI.

Going back to a previous chapter, more pain from his POV from chapter 13:

Ahhh “When the LI tries to do something to scare the MC away” trope, my beloathed

Which is what Rai's punishment in the basement was supposed to be. This one (NSFW image in post) where he focuses on humiliating her. He wanted to scare her away from Mugenro (Him taking her out on that aquarium date later on was probably also his way to get her to stop seeking him out in Mugenro).

Some snippets—

Rai (thinking): I don't deserve to be liked by a girl like you.

--

Seeing how her face twisted in pain when I grabbed her chin made me want to bring a "blissed out" look to her face.

That dreamy expression as she learns how it feels to be dominated stoked the flames of desire within me.

--

*after he sees the burn on her arm*

I was supposed to suppress my desires.

Should've focused on my goal and kept a tight hold on my sense of reason.

But I got so caught up in teasing her and giving her my love that I ended up accidentally hurting her.

(I'm going to make the same mistakes I did before...)

--

No matter how badly I punish her, MC will always smile at me.

I felt sweat trickle down my back at the thought of her engulfed in flames, a smile still on her face.

(I can't make a half-hearted attempt to push her away...I need to make her hate me)

[pentition]

As usual, SPOILERS AHEAD.

Been thinking about some things as I lurk on the My Time/Sandrock Discords and subreddits. It's a blast seeing other Pen fans out in the wild. Actually, it's super comforting. I'm so used to liking niche titles or characters that don't get the love or introspection they deserve, regardless of where they fall on the morality spectrum.

I'm usually lurking. Liking comments or posts because I'm a shy creature on the social front, mixed with low energy all around. But one thing I always appreciate is seeing peoples perspectives and taking time to consider them. It doesn't matter how much or how little I agree/disagree - in the end, my brain incorporates what it views as right. And what it disagrees with, I further want to know about - but also won't be bothered if ideas I have don't match others. Echo chambers are boring. I want to see people take ideas that don't match mine and see if they make them work.

That all being said, I've had something on my mind regarding Pen for a number of weeks now. Between Reddit and Discord, there have been such interesting perspectives on people who want Pen to come back but then get split on him being romanceable in the future.

I've expressed in previous musings on here that I think the Sandrock Builder and Pen's history is something I love, and it wouldn't be the same with another character. But I also kind of failed to elaborate on that. After having some cool exchanges and hearing perspectives from various sides, I think I've settled more on where I am. Not that it matters to anyone but me, but it's a fun thought exercise to write out in regards to Pen's character.

I still believe Pen and the Sandrock Builder's relationship is like, my golden child for three main reasons:

1.) It has conflicting emotions both positive and negative. You get a full range of emotions. It's vague enough to allow people to speculate which also giving enough for people to know there was something serious there. I say serious because even if it was a ruse, it meant something to Pen based on how farewell and what he left behind if you romanced him. While I believe in the symbolism of what was left behind in the chest, I'm also try to take into account on the what-if that it doesn't matter to the devs the way it matters to us.

2.) Imagination is important. When you have a character like Pen, who is so himself but still shrouded in mystery, your mind tries to fill in the blanks and make sense of things. There's what we get, what we perceive and what is mixed up in the middle. Whether it's making things more toxic to making them more sincere, there's so much possibility with a character like Pen. It's appealing and an endless chew toy for my brain.

3.) The potential. This mixes the prior two. But it really comes down to it, the history they have and that potential of what could be is why I adore them. All relationships will encounter bad periods, it's what you do during those bad periods that define the outcome. Potential is always a defining aspect in anything, it's not something that has a moral compass - it just is what it is. Which means it's versatile. Potential is important to me, personally, so when I see a character like Pen who has so much of it... it's hard not to pay attention. And in instances like this where so much plot can exist, it's hard not to get invested.

Because I am not a big brain person and sleep deprived, here's the sentence that shittily segways into the next talking point that'll eventually circle back on the prior.

The diamond ring. What if it wasn't for the Sandrock Builder, but for whatever Builder (or other role) the player will have in a future game? Maybe the reason it dropped for everyone (and not a bug) was a two-fold reason. If the Sandrock Builder romanced Pen, it could be intended for them. If they didn't romance Pen, maybe it was a set up for a future game where Pen is romanceable again.

So, future romance possibilities with Pen. That's the talking point here. I said that the Sandrock Builder and Pen are my ideal because of the reasons above. Interesting history, imaginative with its positives and negatives, so much potential. Of course, I can only be biased because I don't know and haven't yet experienced the possibility of what it's like for Pen to be with another player character.

That being said, and despite my preference, I'd still be okay if Pathea had Pen in a future installment as a romanceable character for another character. Characters should be allowed to develop as characters that don't hinge on the player. And given people don't always play the games in order, it would be kind of sucky/selfish to deprive anyone of a Pentacular (sobad) romance route.

I've run a character and story editor job online since I was fifteen, I've done a lot of work in this area with clients and with my own work. And I've also been a DM/GM for about ten to fifteen years now. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that characters aren't great because of the writers - but because of who they are and can become as characters themselves. Just look at the differences between the Chinese and English versions of Pen. Yet despite the differences all Pen fans have found that same foundation that breaches language barriers and different writing directions. That is incredible core character foundation and it's that potential that has made me so invested in his character.

My ideal is probably so dumb sounding of a compromise. But it would be cool to reintroduce Pen in a future game with a romance rival option like Portia had. As in, if you want to romance Pen then you can. But if you don't, he automatically will seek out the Sandrock Builder. I don't mean up and leave asap, but whenever he is done having a role in that game he'd head out to find them. If Evershine is going to allow the Sandrock Builder to possibly appear, then why not do the same there? Only problem is it would be tricky to do a reunion that way when people have different perspectives of how it would go. Especially depending on how long it has been. It's easy to say, 'just let the player take control!' but the thing is, if players haven't played the previous games before (as in, they are a new player to the series) it wouldn't at all make any sense to do.

And selfishly, I'd totally want to have a game right after that returns to the Sandrock Builder for a Pen return. But then, that's only based on if the Builder was close or romanced Pen. For people who didn't care or go that route, it also wouldn't make sense to do.

So for a Pen and Sandrock Builder reunion that matters, we'd have to play as that Builder again in a future game. Maybe that means the Builder has to leave Sandrock for whatever reason. But it would have to be a reason that makes sense for people who didn't romance or care about Pen, too. It's all just tricky.

Which is why I thought a lot about a Pen romance without the Sandrock Builder. Of course there's potential there. It's not the same, as much as I'd love to explore my duo having a reunion. But it's not terrible either, to me, at least. In any case, Pen needs some time to figure his shit out as a person. If that means he grows and lets go of the past romance, that's okay. If it means he wants to try and see if he can salvage things after his betrayal, that's also okay. I just hope the devs come around to taking their audience seriously, because so far their players that like other characters (like Miguel, Burgess, even Ernest or Venti) aren't treated very respectfully for the characters they/their builder likes.

This is mostly be just airing out thoughts in my head since I wasn't too happy that a prior post or two didn't elaborate that I'd be okay if Pen moved on - even if I really want to see things work out between him and the Sandrock Builder. Both have strong narrative possibilities, but I like the ups and downs of the latter and the potential of it more at this time. Maybe that'll change in the future, whenever that game comes out. Who knows. ^^