#and it also doesn’t help that the fandom most definitely has a style preference—

[low-sodium-sri-rachaa]

.

[spaceagebachelormann]

zigmar i come to you humbly on this fine evening with the simple request that you give me some sort of might duck sustenance por favor and muchas gracias

they can be incoherent and stupid and goofy and silly to the max i just need to rotate this little kids like rotisserie chickens in my mind (esp fulton portman and julie)

random miscellaneous tmd thoughts !

✧ warnings: some of them may be ooc ngl

✧ additional info: u got it pookums 😈😈😈🙏 also these can be read as either platonic or romantic (not luis)

✧ m.list — nav.

♡ charlie conway !

the most insane taste in music literally ever

bro goes from madonna to death metal SO FAST

but ngl his playlist is always the best and he always gets to play music whenever u go anywhere

but oh my god he’d love pierce the veil in present day

HES ALSO LIKE SOMEHOW AMAZING AT MATH. but he cannot do science for literal shit

also his clothing style changes js like his music taste

will literally be kurt cobain one day and morrissey the next (hed hate morrissey though)

♡ adam banks !

every team sleepover/event/literally anything could js be a spontaneous hangout is always at his house

it’s because he’s rich and his house is huge as fuck and he has every board game known to man

just do not play uno because a fight always breaks out (charlie is always part of it)

he’s always the one who ends the fight also

he has this very calming presence that’s so nice to be around and him js talking to whoever got into a fight immediately helps calm them down

also weirdly good at comforting in the middle of the night but never during the day??

♡ lester averman !

he would watch full house religiously prove me wrong

his favourite character is obviously joey because they are one in the same

everyone on the team and their mother has been forced to watch full house while he’s been at their house/vice versa

he can also cook like. decently well !! it’s not something he’d prefer to do but he will for his friends if they’re tired or smth

♡ fulton reed !

this little shit

he is so unbelievably competitive over the smallest things it’s actually insane

typa guy to race u to see who can get to one side of the room first and start genuinely tweaking if he doesn’t win

at sleepovers he refuses to fall asleep first even if it’s just by a few minutes

he could be dead to the world but still have his eyes open cause he refuses to let u win (unless ur his s/o cause he might consider it that way)

♡ connie moreau !

she is definitely a theatre kid idc

her favourite musicals are probably grease, hairspray and heathers

she likes female main characters!!

everytime she gets into a new fandom she immediately starts thinking abt what it’d be like a musical and probably wanted to be a composer at some point

would 100% beg to use the aux on a road trip and then blast hamilton loud as balls

she wholeheartedly believes six is a top tier musical and she will DIE on this hill

(fun fact i’ve met andrea macasaet <3)

♡ guy germaine !

modern day guy would’ve loved basic white girl music

“life is too short to pretend to hate taylor swift” —him

also 100% a britney spears girlie. and nsync and every stereotypical white girl artist

but i wholeheartedly believe britney would be his favourite and he has her whole discography on cassette, cd, vinyl, u name it he has a britney spears collection

also his ass is NOT straight 💀 i’ve never met a straight man who listens to britney spears

♡ julie gaffney !

lowkey a regina george multitude if she wasn’t kinda. yk. a bad person

she’s a mix of cher and regina

everyone at the fancy ass boarding school literally loves her because she’s calm, smart pretty nice etc etc she’s just a really great person to be around

shes that one student who has every assignment finisher a week early, all a’s and 100% in every subject WITHOUT being mean abt it!!

her ass is friends with the whole student population and knows every well and knows all the drama but won’t tell everyone if she thinks it’s too personal (it’s it’s random petty nonsense she tells the team)

♡ ken wu !

secretly rlly good friends with julie but nobody knows even though they do not try to hide it at all

literally wander the halls talking abt whatever just for everyone to be like “y’all are friends???”

also this man secretly loves lana del rey

him and julie will sit on his bedroom floor and literally tell him the most insane and jaw dropping gossip she heard that day while lana is playing in the background

everytime someone asks his favourite lana song he says grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he’s deep-sea fishing on did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd to fuck with them

♡ dean portman !

is actually very very good at math!!

he was a tutor for the 9th/10th graders for a bit to get volunteer hours and also cause he just likes doing math

you’d expect it to be like doing homework with ur dad and the poor kid is in tears while deans like “WHATS NINE. TIMES TWO.” but he’s actually surprisingly patient

if he’s explained something a few times and they still don’t get it he’ll just try it a different way until they get it and work them through the problem

has rlly strong relationships with the 9th and 10th graders cause of this and is essentially their older brother figure

the amount of 14/15 year olds that he’s given relationship advice too is insane (id be one of the 14 year olds probably)

♡ luis mendoza !

his type is secretly quiet girls cause he finds them rlly interesting and likes the thought of them being happy around him but quiet around everyone else

he’s like yes girl be urself with me

it all stemmed from the girl he liked in 8th grade who helped pick up his pencils when she accidentally knocked his pencil case out of his hand (she was a quiet nerdy girl)

like a whole year later and he’s still trying to rizz her up 💀

he’s one of those guys who takes forever to lose feelings

the girl is actually good friends with him btw

♡ dwayne robertson !

i feel like he is fucking AMAZING at baking

his icon is dolly parton and he heard berry pie so he immediately learned how to bake

if someone he knows has a birthday he either bakes the birthday cake or brings them something he made depending on how close he is with them

and holy shit it’s the most amazing thing u will ever taste and nothing will ever compare

yes he’s one of those guys who will go on an 18 minute tangent on how amazing dolly parton is if someone talks shit about her (same i love dolly)

[xiiaomii]

BEN Drowned

Headcanons !!

Disclaimer before someone comes for me.. this is all my au!!! No, I am not using ‘my au’ as an excuse to be weird btw !! Majority of this won’t be canon in any sense and most of my account is nothing like the canon character.. so please don’t use my blog as a way to get canon information!! Just thought I’d put it out there before someone shits on my posts because it’s bound to happen soon 😞

Ben is the biggest blue razz flavour lover, aside from Laughing Jack, anything in that flavour he will absolutely devour it. (Totally canon, I’m Ben’s left big toe)

He will sometimes forget to eat, drink, change clothes and shower to play video games because of how infatuated he is with the game he is playing.

Flirts with all his friends in a joking way, everyone is his ‘pookie’ or something along the lines of that. Until he actually develops a crush on a specific person then he forgets his ‘flirting skills’ (that were never really skills, he just took some cringe pet names he overheard and started calling his friends them ironically).

Jokes about his trauma, you will rarely catch that mf talking about his past experiences in a serious, non-joking way. Doesn’t matter how bad his PTSD could be, he will never get caught being serious. (Probably a massive cry for help, just doesn’t know how to ask for it.)

Probably started vaping thinking it would make people in school like him, which it didn’t, then ended up doing weed to feel ‘happy’ with how everything was.

Sally is his little sister. Not biologically, he just kind of claimed her as a sister and she agreed since Ben is the only male in the house she can trust (since they’re similar in age range, Sally being 12 and Ben being 14 in my au).

RAGING aquaphobia, panic attacks and all sorts being near a certain amount of water he could be drowned in, not that anyone would do that to him again. Ben and Jeff was hanging out in the forest together once and Ben accidentally fell into a lake and started fully sobbing, first time he was caught crying by another creepypasta.

He was definitely one of them people with braces since the age of like 12 for having fucked up teeth, absolutely hating them and getting called train tracks at school atleast once a day.

Because he prefers to have longer hair, he probably forgot to cut his hair loads of times until he started to notice it turning into a bob hairstyle and cut it.

Grunge style, definitely called emo shit ton of times when he was alive and in school.

Somehow always smells of Lynx Africa.. (that one deodorant literally EVERY mf teenage boy has.)

Thanks for reading!! I really enjoy making head canons for creepypastas and seeing people genuinely enjoy my posts makes me so happy omg 😭🫶!! <3 Honestly, I’m 99% sure most of this fandom is built off headcanons anyways BUT I’m so glad I’m not getting shitted on for having some interests 🫶🫶. Saying that, I know not much of this is canon in the slightest but I’m planning on writing a story for my AU where it’ll make more sense soon!! <3 Also, might make a pt.2 for my Sally Williams head canons!!!!!!!!!

<33333

[gooeyringtown]

drummer au headcanons

barbie as a drummer in a grunge/garage rock band has been IN my mind so hard lately & well i had to do something…….

credits to @hellsfireclub & @el-fandom-phantom for some of these too btw <33 feeding my delusions 😋

it starts when barbie is like in 8th or 9th grade, she and her friends (probably ken & basketball ken [kingsley ben-adir’s ken, to clarify]) find some instruments at a garage sale or thrift store

they’re not in the greatest shape, but they get the job done and they sound decent. the three of them spend their afternoons after school playing random beats and just messing around, simply having fun while trying to get a hang of the instruments

barbie tries her luck with the guitar but she doesn’t quite like it. she can play it just fine, but she doesn’t feel it flow out of her the way it seems to for ken

(basketball ken plays the bass)

barbie has a little bit of a crisis…. her friends are really great at guitar & bass, and what about her!! what is she good at?? does she have any musical ability??

she doesn’t realize that whenever she listens to music, she is always tapping her foot/bouncing her leg, or drumming her fingers, or tapping out somehow, the rhythm of the song. always following the beat, without even thinking

basketball ken’s dad has an old drum set in the garage that barbie sees one day when they decide to practice at his house one afternoon

and as soon as barbie sees it…. it finally clicks

she is an absolute natural with the drums. the beat simply flows through her and it’s like she doesn’t even have to try

(obviously she does, though. she is only around 14/15, and far from the greatest in the world.)

she feels damn proud of herself though, for finally finding her calling. and she has so much fun playing. it’s addicting, and they’ll all spend hours, until barbie has nailed a new routine or solo and feels extremely satisfied

it continues like this through high school. as they get older, they get a little more ‘serious.’ aka they branch out and try new styles. ken takes up vocals alongside guitar, and basketball ken + barbie do back-up.

by senior year, they’ve amassed a pretty impressive base of people who know them. they mostly stick to covers, though they do dabble in attempting original music from time to time

(it’s also worth noting that all 3 of them can play the instruments interchangeably, but they strongly prefer to stick to their one, mainly)

they play local gigs at taverns & such in their town, and they’re always a blast

barbie finds herself loving & craving more of that. she’s obsessed with the feeling of the spotlight sort of on her, the adrenaline from when she’s cranking out this music, feeling the beat in her and causing people such a fun time. it’s the idea of creating that fills her with this joy

barbie saves up and for her graduation gift, her parents help her pay half and half for a new drum set. and this is quite possibly the happiest day of barbie’s life

the 3 of them take a gap year: basketball ken undertakes an internship at a law firm his mom is a partner at, ken is a leader at an equestrian camp, and barbie does some volunteer work at an animal shelter

in between their work, they still meet up and practice. the summer after their gap year is the greatest; they play with a renewed freedom, and let months of repressed musical talent finally bleed again.

they book gig after gig, at some local places for the summer but also branching out to new and nearby towns, just to get a taste

(barbie only seems to get prettier and prettier, and she most definitely has people lining up trying to get her attention. she is so oblivious though, and frankly, just not interested. no one has caught her eye. music is her priority and she’s busy with figuring school out and reworking her job schedule, so she doesn’t have time.)

that is, until, one night at a gig, barbie spots literally the most beautiful girl she has ever seen in the crowd, just before their set

she has these gorgeous big brown eyes that look at her for a second, and it’s enough to have barbie’s heart running wild. she finds herself playing with extra vigor that night, trying extra hard to be at her very best and shine just a little brighter

the kens definitely notice and are hyping her up like crazy after the show

“barbie, holy shit, you KILLED IT!” “where did THAT come from!!!”

turns out the girl is there with allan, ken’s friend. and she’s invited backstage with them

barbie turns to look at her, and the kens immediately know why barbie was so extra sublime that night

her name is gloria, and barbie is like marry me

the kens most definitely tease her immensely following that night. whenever they have an upcoming gig, barbie tries to very subtly and sneakily ask if any of ken’s friends will be there. (if allan will be there again.)

(her sneakiness is to no avail, though, because the kens know she’s asking if gloria will be there again, and they make so much fun of her.)

all barbie can do is blush and hide her face.

(though she does grumble that at least she has girls who have been interested, unlike the two of them.)

yep. that does the job. the kens are pouty messes for the rest of the day.

the next time barbie sees gloria at a show, gloria is wearing this pink flowery band-aid on her finger, from a little cut she received

barbie traces the pad of her finger along the band-aid, while the two of them sit on a couch backstage and talk

(it’s so subtle, her touch, but gloria’s heart is hammering in her chest.)

summer ends, and barbie goes off to school. it’s not too far away, but not close either. and gloria goes to school elsewhere. they definitely keep in touch though, and actually talk and text constantly

they meet up halfway during every possible chance they have. 3 day weekends, spring or winter breaks. you name it.

actually, for spring break, they have a gig. barbie has just turned 21, and they’re going to some bar in the dusty middle of nowhere

it’s an amazing show. gloria is there, so of course it is, for barbie

they buy her a round of shots afterwards, and they stay to dance and play pool

barbie sobers up and is quite hungry, so she and gloria sneak off to get some burgers and a milkshake

it’s nearly 2 in the morning by the time they leave, and the kens are probably wasted, so they decide to buy some cheap clothes to sleep in and find a motel to spend the night in

while gloria gets settled into their room, barbie goes out to get them some waters from the vending machine

when she comes back, she sits on the bed while gloria changes into the pajama shirt

but there’s a mirror … and gloria’s back is right there, with no bra, and barbie can see—

gloria looks up, and the two lock eyes through the mirror, and she knows barbie is looking

barbie flushes a fierce red, looking away quickly and feeling horribly invasive and gross. she gets up briskly and walks over to the bathroom, muttering a ‘sorry’ the whole way there

she shuts herself in, but the door is just barely closed when gloria knocks on it

barbie is shaking, but she opens it. she hasnt even turned the light on, and she is a tall shadow in the doorway

she and gloria stare at each other, for a few moments, the tension palpable

and then gloria pulls barbie down and kisses her

and fucking finally

(is what the kens say. and allan. everyone who knows them, pretty much.)

they start dating and are long distance while they go to school

barbie does this thing where she wears the pink flowery bandaids on her finger, the kind that gloria had on the night they first met

it kinda helps her feel like she is showing off her loyalty. it’s like her version of a promise ring, essentially

she also takes exceptional care of her hands, after gloria tells her how soft they are despite the expected callouses from years of drumming

granted, her right (and dominant) hand is a little more roughened up than her left, but they’re still very soft

(plus that little callousness, that touch of roughness, is delicious on gloria’s belly, trembling and pulled taut, as the softness of barbie’s other hand travels up the inside of gloria’s thigh and in between her legs)

(i mean come on. just because barbie isn’t a guitarist doesn’t mean her fingers aren’t deft and very skilled.)

gloria is a rockstar gf

no seriously like she’s at every one of barbie’s gigs, front row, and barbie dedicates every show to her.

(she kisses the bandaids on her fingers to give herself luck as well.)

barbie turns 22, and ken helps her paint her drum set pink. she also gets pink drumsticks

as a birthday gift, gloria gets barbie this heart shaped locket where she can put any picture in it

(barbie, of course, puts a picture of them kissing in it)

(gloria melts)

as a surprise, for their anniversary, barbie secretly writes a song for gloria. and at their gig, she performs it at the end of their set

gloria starts crying as she watches barbie sing and listens to her beautiful voice, knowing the song is just for her and how hard barbie must have worked on it

barbie pulls her onstage at the end of the song

and her hair is all messy and tousled, face glistening with light sweat, body warm and wired with energy, hands on gloria’s waist, blue eyes twinkling and smile so pretty and brilliant and in love

and so is gloria, so she throws herself around barbie and kisses her passionately, right under the pink concert lights in front of everyone

because her gf is a rockstar!!!!!

SORRY THIS IS MESSY but i needed to get it out <33 THEY ARE SO CUTE! my bbys

[identityflawed]

this is such a niche fandom overlap and i’m only doing it for me and my bsf and maybe one other person on here but

STAR WARS PREQUEL CHARACTERS IF THEY PLAYED VALORANT

anakin — one of the rare duelist instalocks who actually comms and even IGLs for the team. the guy’s a war general so he def tries, but if they start losing he gets moody as shit. he only plays jett and if he can’t get his agent he will dodge the game; but you can count on him to always carry. also he’s a comp menace. definitely high immortal or radiant, has a smurf account so he can play with his friends. loves the reaver bundle.

obi-wan — definitely more relaxed, probably only queues unrated and plays whatever agent the team needs, though probably prefers brim. great PMA and is a decent player, always better on defensive half. probably plays cypher and is always exactly where he needs to be to win the round. bought no skins but can’t resist picking up the kuronami if he sees it.

ahsoka — prodigal raze main. probably plays neon on maps where raze isn’t compatible, anything she can to be moving around fast as fuck. she also likes ratting with shotguns, gets down on herself when she doesn’t play well. gold/plat rank and probably only does swift plays bc she gets impatient if they start to lose too hard. loves using oni phantom and complains that they don’t have a ghost skin.

rex — most clones are fuckin goated at this game, they’re trained warriors after all there’s no way the kamino sims weren’t like this. he 100% plays chamber exclusively, and is a rlly good player. solid IGL capabilities but prefers someone else to take the lead. probably diamond/ascendant, and loves the recon skinpack.

padme — idc what you say she is goated at this game bc she has to play w anakin all the time. he probably smurfed to play with her at the beginning but she got all the way back up to his rank. she and her handmaidens all share one account (which probably has a cringe matching username w/ anakin). asc/immo. mains killjoy — always accurate with her comms and util. has every skin in the game so her and her handmaidens can pick their favorites.

palpatine — has two accounts, one in bronze and one in radiant. his bronze one he uses to play w anakin where he just pretends to be really bad, and probably locks brim or sova bc he has no other characters unlocked. his other one is where he’s hella toxic and locks in phoenix just to sabotage his teammates if they’re too nice. top tier hater. uses sentinels of light skin on his radiant account so he can do the weird thing with the kill animation. or the champions melee so he can show off the kills he has

yoda — plays neon exclusively bc it mirrors his actual fighting style, and probably has not ranked out of iron. keeps himself in iron or bronze and will randomly carry people to higher ranks if they’re polite to him. definitely a rat player — him and ahsoka terrorize lobbies together. uses gaia bundle.

windu — probably doesn’t play all that often, and usually only does it with yoda or obi-wan. mains skye, bc he likes playing characters that help his team. not interested in winning, probably ranks in plat lobbies bc his aim is good. always ends up blinding his teammates and gets down on himself for it. likes the singularity bundle

dooku — instalocks kayo and never uses abilities other than his knife and ult bc he believes in aim superiority. scorns people who use characters that can heal and revive themself; gets ragey when people point out kayo can be revived. always plays alone or with ventress. if he gets into a lobby with a jedi he will do everything. in his power to make sure they lose. hardstuck ascendant bc he doesn’t use abilities. uses the forsaken bundle bc he considers it the most elegant of the skins.

ventress — hear me out when i say this girl mains breach, because she lives to make other people angry and breach is the most infuriating character to play against. she will always bait her teammates and she will always clutch in the most irritating way. her teammates can’t even be mad because she’s carrying them, but at their own expense. probably gold/plat max bc she only cares about her kills and not about the win. devoted prelude to chaos lover

maul — i am telling you with my whole soul this man wants to be a yoru main. and he’s not great at it, but he’s the only agent he will play. his aim is solid but he doesn’t have a good sense of how the other team plays, so he always ends up getting caught with his flash out or teleporting right into three different players at once. he also doesn’t comm, ever, unless it’s to curse someone out. only plays comp and only loses. if he’s in a lobby with kenobi he throws and spam reports him for cheating. bronze/silver but would be higher if he stopped playing yoru. uses the protocol bundle because he thinks it’s cool and it reminds him of his old training modules.

savage — fills sage and always revives maul when he dies in a stupid location. will only heal maul and will not communicate with the other team unless they are nice to his brother. somehow manages to avoid getting into gunfights but when he does he always crouch sprays. really likes the guardian and the elderflame bundle because the dragons are cool as shit.

bo-katan — devoted fade main, but could probably play any agent with ease. enjoys using voice changers to troll people and has a very low tolerance for sexism. literally just a solid player who doesnt top or bottom frag but is somehow the most capable person in the lobby at any given time. can and will disconnect from the game if people start being mean to her, and comes back 10 minutes later when they’re on the cusp of losing just to bring them back. diamond, but only because she keeps getting banned for disconnecting. likes the chronovoid bundle for the cool melee inspect

cody — sova main, and probably loves learning lineups. him and obi wan have combo moves and great chemistry in and out of game, and they probably duo together more often than anakin and obi wan do (anakin always plays with padme). probably ends up bottom fragging because he’s too invested in using his abilities than actually playing the game, but can easily clutch up when his team needs him. loves the ego bundle bc it reminds him of his armor, and doesn’t care for skins that change the gun’s sound effects.

fives — he loves playing gekko and trolling people with his abilities and ultimate. always brings good vibes to the lobby but mostly plays with his brothers in their custom games. not the greatest with his aim but his flashes always manage to blind the entire team — he just misses all his shots and blames it on their weird movement. he’s a shit player because he wants to be, and because he likes being able to play with his shiny friends when they first start the game without putting them into hard lobbies. blatantly uses blastx odin.

barriss — probably an astra main. just seems like a very cool headed player but gets easily irritated when her team doesn’t play the way she needs them to. can’t adapt, and therefore ends up having a hard time with the game. silver/gold lobbies at best. ahsoka bought her the ruination bundle and now it’s the only thing she uses. not too much to say for her other than the fact that she’d be a lot better if she realized everyone’s gonna play a little different.

qui-gon — this guy loves playing harbor. he’s definitely a bad player and gets a kick out of making people angry at him and then bringing up that he’s trying to learn how to play so he can play with his son, which is true because he only learned to play with obi wan. also only plays unrated and his play style changes every single game and no one is sure if he’s going to kill 40 people or 4. he probably backseats, too, after he’s dead. probably likes the neo frontier skins because they’re retro as shit. he seems like he’d like cowboys.

plagueis — plays clove because they’re immortal and can heal themselves, and be fucks w that necromancy shit. definitely not good at the game but doesn’t get toxic with his team. god tier IGL but only plays for himself unless the team starts catering to his tastes. probably diamond rank just because he’s good but not great, and doesn’t play the game that much. uses the cryostasis bundle because he’s got a thing for cold planets.

jar jar — he’s iron and not because he’s stupid but because he literally doesn’t know how to play the game. probably plays deadlock because he thinks she’s cool and isn’t aware that she’s a bad agent. very positive teammate but people get angry at him because he makes silly plays. he’ll get better he just needs time. likes the neptune bundle for obvious reasons, and is infinitely delighted by the little fishes.

yeah this was pretty crazy no lie but i fw it lmk if u want a part 2 with the original trilogy or something else bc i got so much more

also shoutout to @circle-around-again for responding to an old post of mine like 7 months ago bc they inspired me to make this post

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

I doubt literally anyone else will care about this, but this has been a mini goal/desire of mine for so fricken long now, so I wanted to at least share it here, ha.

Anyway, TPWP is one of my more popular fics. It took a while to get there when I was posting, creeping up with the kudos and hits and everything each week, but by god did it get there. Once I finished posting it and it plateaued in statistics, the only fic that was above it in terms of popularity was my old fic, A Pirate’s Life (APL), which I had written when I was like 17-18 I believe. And APL is not a bad fic, no. It’s just definitely unpolished and a bit rough in spots. And the ship itself is a bit ehhhh, though I always liked the fanon interpretation of the ship much more than anything from canon. I’m digressing though.

Anyway, I always privately hoped that TPWP would surpass APL in popularity, since I much prefer TPWP in terms of writing ability and the ship itself. I also wanted my most kudosed and ‘popular’ fic to be something that reflected my current writing level and ships, not something I wrote and liked when I was newly an adult. While I know now that the number of kudos on a fic ultimately doesn’t matter too much and doesn’t really say if a fic is popular or not, TPWP having more kudos than APL was always a private goal of mine, something I privately wanted and hoped for.

However, after I had finally finished posting TPWP and the last of the rush of kudos came in from that, I saw that TPWP was almost 200 kudos away from APL, and given the fact that fics will often stagnate in kudos/hits once they’re complete and haven’t posted in a couple months (at least in my experience), I had a feeling that I’d never really make this goal. And it was a little disappointing, but I never let it bother me too much. Plus, starting last year I had a new most popular fic (thanks, Luigi and the Beast), so I had something else that reflected my modern writing style and ships, so it wasn’t that big of a deal anymore in my mind.

Still, part of me wanted TPWP to surpass APL, and today, it finally happened. While this can obviously still swap since I do still get kudos on APL from time to time, the fact that TPWP not only managed to reach APL’s kudos count, but surpassed it even once? I never thought that would happen, to be honest. I never thought that TPWP would manage to get almost 200 extra kudos once I stopped posting regularly, since in my experience that doesn’t happen often. Usually I’ll get a decent amount once it’s no longer an active fic, but not enough that it would surpass another old fic that was gaining passive kudos too.

Anyway, I’m not so sure where I’m going with this. As you can see from my screenshots, it’s like 5am where I am now, and my brain just woke me up and refuses to let me go back to sleep (a common occurrence these days, for some reason. I’ve long since stopped asking why my brain does what it does in regards to sleep. It’s better that way), so I’m kinda rambling.

The point, I suppose, is that this was a goal of mine for so long now, and I’m honestly kind of proud and happy that I finally reached it. While I do have problems with TPWP, ultimately I am very proud of it and it makes me so, so happy that people are still enjoying it all of these years later. When I started writing fanfic over 13 years ago at age 13, I never would have expected to be here. My writing was meh at best and I struggled a lot with getting my thoughts and ideas across. There’s a reason I will never post my fanfiction.Net username, even though my oldest fics are still posted there. Writing was just something I did for fun and as a way to show my love for my fandoms; it was never anything serious. But I always wanted to write a fic that mattered… you know? That stuck with people. That people genuinely liked and that maybe even helped them. You know?

I think I managed that with TPWP. I’ve gotten so many comments over the years thanking me for writing it, people saying that they will go back to it and reread it from time to time, that it helped them, etc. I was always so grateful and happy that I was able to write something that resonated with so many people, which had been a dream of mine ever since I started writing and would cry tears of frustration when I struggled to get my thoughts across how I wanted to.

And, like I’ve said. I know that kudos/favorites are not the only metric to determine if a fic is popular or ‘good.’ However, it has always been a good base for me to gauge interest in my fics, to see roughly what people think of it. And, even though it prolly shouldn’t, the amount of kudos/favorites on my fics has always mattered to me. Ever since I was a young child I’ve had an intense desire to be liked. But more than that, I always wanted to be ‘the favorite.’ To be ‘the best.’ Even when I knew I never would be, simply because I lacked the skill or patience to be ‘the best.’ I still would always want that, and it would hurt me deep inside to know that I just… wasn’t. Yes, I was smart, but I was never ‘the smartest.’ Yes, I was well liked by my peers, but I was never ‘popular.’ Yes, I was always doing well and could hold my own in most things I tried, but I was never (and would never) be ‘the best.’ I just couldn’t. I was either too unskilled, too impatient, too shaky (physically, in some cases), too… everything, and I could never, ever be the absolute best at anything, really. I just physically couldn’t. I’d never be the best singer, I’d never be the best artist, I’d never be the best writer, I’d never be the best chef, I’d never be the best creator, and I’d never be that elusive ‘favorite.’ Never, never, never.

And it hurt. A lot. Growing up and even to this day. But I’ve gotten so much better with it over the years. With the knowledge that I will never be ‘the best,’ that I will never be ‘the favorite,’ and that this is okay. And, in fact, not only is this okay, but it’s expected. Perfection is a myth and it’s impossible to achieve. I spent over 375k words trying to showcase this fact, because it’s something I still, to this day, three months past twenty-six, struggle with. But I’m getting there. By god, am I getting there. And by removing that desire to be ‘perfect,’ to be ‘the best,’ I’ve improved so much in every field I create work in. Once I did away with the desire to create something ‘perfect,’ I was able to make things that were just ‘good enough.’ Is this art project I spent hours working on made more of hot glue than its actual art medium? Yes, but it’s made. And it looks nice enough. And while it will never win any awards, I like it. Is my writing repetitive, derivative of itself, sometimes rushed, and more focused on angst than plot? Yes. But it’s made. And it’s good enough. And people like it. And, most importantly of all?

I like it.

I like it. Even if it isn’t ’perfect.’ Even if it won’t win awards. Even if no one else on the planet likes it, if everyone looks at it and goes ‘… okay, so what?’ I like it. I spent so much time and effort creating it. I did everything I could to make it properly. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a bit lumpy. If it has exposed seams. If it doesn’t look like other people’s creations. It’s made, and I made it, and I put my heart and soul into it, and that? That’s what matters. I learned while making it, and next time I make something similar, I’ll do better. And the time after that? I’ll do better again. And again. And again. I’ll never reach ‘perfection.’ I’ll never make something that people will look at, gasp, and think ‘my god, that’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen.’ I’ll never reach that impossible goal that I made for myself when I was a young preteen, painfully insecure and wanting to find validation in others. I never will reach this goal, never, ever, ever, ever, ever.

But I will get better. I will improve from what I’ve done before. And I will get stronger in every possible way I can, and I will forgive myself for the ways that I can’t. I have a lot of limitations, things I cannot physically or mentally overcome. And I will forgive myself for it. I will. I will.

And I guess, at the end of the day, that’s my point here. That perfection is a lie, that there is no end, that there is only improvement and self-appreciation. APL represents this a lot for me. At 17-18, I still struggled with this so much. I spent all of my high school years riddled with self-hatred and anxiety, wanting to be the best, but riddled with the knowledge that I never would be. I crashed and burned in middle and high school because of this. I was so terrified of never being all I wanted to be that I let myself burn to ash, to give up completely, because that was better in my mind than trying my hardest and failing. I always failed at what I wanted to do, and I was so focused on that supposed ‘failure’ that I failed to see how far I had come. I failed to see that while I wasn’t ’the favorite,’ I was still well liked. I failed to see that while I wasn’t ’the best,’ I was good enough. I was good enough. And I always would be. This is something I didn’t realize at 17-18, not yet.

But I do now. I do now, and TPWP represents that for me in many ways. Perfection in a myth. Unilateral adoration and love is impossible. And no matter what, every time you create you will get a little better, a little better, a little better. And so, the only thing you can do is create. And love what you create. And keep trying no matter what, all so that you can create more in the future and grow. So you can do what you love without fear of failure.

Anyway, this has gone on much longer than anticipated. It was just supposed to be a quick ‘haha look! I succeeded at an old, useless goal! :-D’ But somehow it turned into this. But that’s okay. That’s just who I am. I like to ramble. I like to get my thoughts out there into the world. I’m pretentious and think way too deeply on things that matter to no one else. It matters to me. It matters to me. And it doesn’t matter if no one ever reads this, or if people read it and roll their eyes at my pretension. I wrote this for me, to just get this out there in the world, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters. That’s what’s important. Not what the ‘invisible audience’ in my head screams at me every day.

I hope y’all have a good day. :-)

[ciaossu-imagines]

As you lovelies might have seen on other posts, depending on how the shuffled queue puts these out, I spread the Disney love from the Disney day of the event around to all my various fandoms! For The Outsiders, I loved thinking about and then writing about what Disney World hotels each Greaser would love the most, if they ever became rich enough to go to modern day Disney World! I hope you wonderful people enjoy!

I really do strongly headcanon Darry as being someone who is into architecture. He might not know all the technical terms and all the different styles and such, but he appreciates them all and does want to learn more about architecture. He went to work helping build houses, so houses and architecture and buildings became an interest of his that spun into a passion. Because of his love for architecture, his favourite Disney hotel is one that has some unique architectural features. He really loves the Animal Kingdom Villas, even if he can’t afford to stay in them. He’s especially a fan of Kidani Village.

Sodapop just can’t relax and feel right if the hotel’s too fancy-smancy, unlike his brothers. He prefers simple and comfortable and a less fancy atmosphere suits him best. Not only are the cabins at Fort Wilderness simple and rustic, but the resort also allows him to go trail riding and to really be around and interact with horses in a very rustic, nature-filled setting. It’s not something he really gets much of but it’s something he truly loves, so that has to be his favourite by far.

Ponyboy actually does have a taste for the elegant and fancy of bygone ages. There’s just something that really hits him, emotionally and mentally, about that architectural style and those kinds of surroundings. Because of that, he definitely would prefer a statelier hotel. I think the Grand Floridian really attracts Ponyboy’s attention and he would be really pulled to everything about that hotel. The others might tease him about it, but everything about it just hits him perfectly.

Steve cares more about a hotel’s amenities than what the hotel itself looks like. He isn’t going to be someone who spends a lot of time just lazing around in the room and only cares about whether he’ll have fun and interesting things to do. Because he is someone who really loves sports and being physical, it’s no surprise that his favourite Disney World hotel ended up being the All-Star Sports Resort. He really likes the arcade at that one, but also the theming and the jogging trails there. He and the boys also definitely goof around at the playground and get told off by at least a handful of parents.

Dally honestly doesn’t give too much of a shit about the hotel he stays at. He really doesn’t. He’ll be fine in any of them, especially since he’s mostly using them as a place to lay his head and has plans on stealing everything he can from them anyway. What matters the most to Dally is the parks since that’s what he’s there for. His favourite land in Disney World is Hollywood Studios so he does prefer the hotels that are within walking distance of that land. Out of those, I think he has a mild preference for the Boardwalk Inn, mostly for its pool. He really enjoys that waterslide and definitely races with the other boys to see who has the fastest time going down it.

Johnny is a lot like Soda in that he can’t really get comfortable in a lot of the hotels. They’re just a little too fancy for him and he’d enjoy roughing it just a bit more. He’s also like Soda in that he loves Fort Wilderness, but Johnny, who is used to sleeping on the ground, actually prefers the campsites at Fort Wilderness. He finds camping fun and it’s made all the better by the lush forest and all the interesting things that the resort has going on. He’d also be a big fan of the recreation options at the resort as well, especially the trails, the nightly bonfires, and he’d actually turn out to enjoy and be fairly good at archery.

Two-Bit really enjoys the novelty and fun of the really heavily themed resorts. He doesn’t want fancy luxury but instead would opt for smaller rooms but more fun surroundings. Because of this, he’s really fond of Disney’s ‘All-Star’ resorts. However, his absolute favourite has to be the Pop Century Resort, for it’s bright colours and whimsical theming. Plus, it has the Skyliner, which Two-Bit really does enjoy just a tad too much as he rides it every day they’re there.

[fanficfish]

a couple of persona 4 headcanons

Just a list of my Persona 4/affiliated media headcanons (I really hope this doesn’t get buried lmfao…also before you ask no I don’t normally post persona I kinda got hooked through the Honkai SR fandom. What can I say, Yu’s very relatable about not wanting to upset and needing to protect the cute kid calling you “big bro”)

I have no idea what’s going on with the whole “Teddie lives with Yosuke” thing because I have literally searched up everything (don’t ask about my youtube watch history please) and here’s my take on it: Yosuke basically came home with a Teddie in tow, presented him as a guy with nowhere to go who was willing to work for his keep, stuffed him in his closet because the “spare bedroom” is his dad’s home office or something, and at some point the Hanamuras just accepted they have two sons now because how can you not like sweet, innocent, naive-but helpful Teddie? Also Yosuke played Teddie’s disappearance off as him being at Yu’s or something. I have no idea how that man pulled this off but it worked. (yes I”m a sucker for hanabros)

I still can’t decide which i prefer: Yu x Yosuke or Yu x Rise (I do like the idea that RIse grabbed Yu, flung him over her shoulder, and marched off into the sunset, though like…have you seen the Persona 4 partner dances???)

I’m actually kinda surprised Yu just goes back to wherever he came from for his third year, like just stay in Inaba for your last year of highschool? You already stayed a whole year. And he canonically has parents who are away a lot on business. But to make sense of this, I propose: He goes back only because the school he’s going to gives him a leg up into the uni he wants to go to (which is understandable. Inaba is a tiny rural town in the middle of nowhere, he’ll probably get some better connections in a city school or something). He definitely comes back on every holidays possible, and messages his friends so often that his new friends at his other school are just like “bro….please at least wear the right uniform….”

RIse’s idol group starts flinging around wild theories on what she did during her year-long break. It ranges from everything from hooking up with three different guys (they spied on her while she was doing a video call with the others (FaceTime apparently existed in 2012, which I kinda forgot about. I think the flip phones kinda just threw me off.)

Yukiko and Chie definitely get together. Have you seen those two? They’re definitely roommates, at the last.

At some point someone asks about Teddie’s bear costume, and Yosuke covers up by saying Kanji made some alterations to it. Kanji does not approve, and Yosuke is seen later running through Inaba with an angry Kanji on his heels.

Also that new outfit Teddie wears in the epilogue of Golden? That’s just Yosuke’s old stuff - Teddie still wears the first human clothes he ever got for fancy occasions, but between Yosuke and Chie they manage to talk him into regular stuff. 

And they definitely have a running joke where they introduce Teddie as an exchange student from France (with that bright blond hair and Ouran Host Club-esque style choices, it was bound to happen) whenever they meet someone new. Yosuke knows Teddie will play along anyways, but buys him sweet treats as a bribe anyways. They usually drop the act pretty quite, but it’s really funny for the Hanabros. Especially if Teddie is crossdressing, because that man totally kept his Alice outfit. 

Kanji, unfortunately for Yosuke, uses Teddie as a model whenever he decides to get creative. Yosuke is considering getting a second closet because Teddie shares most of Yosuke’s old stuff. Like clothes (Yosuke is the only one who has stuff in Teddie’s size, and Teddie’s growing a bit anyways), In the winter, Teddie regularly shows up to places wearing Yosuke’s sweaters and jackets, and Yosuke is just thankful that Kanji makes Teddie stuff like that in Yosuke’s size so both of them can wear it. 

TImeskip: Nanako moves to the city with Yu for highschool, so she can attend a more liberal-arts focussed school. Yu doesn’t mind (he’s like, 26 at this point, and probably works some kind of office job (he likes a bit of quiet in his life, after the chaos called his teenage years and having famous idol Rise Kujikawa as a mate) (and also he gets free Nanako time) and Dojima, finally taking more breaks from work, sometimes drops in to say hi and maybe buy dinner.

Yu also gets to shovel talk Nanko’s first boyfriend. Nanko has to spend half an hour reassuring him that Yu is actually in fact a really nice guy….and then turns around to see Yosuke and Rise waiting for their turn to shoveltalk. And while Yu is scary, having your girlfriend’s older brother’s brofriend and Risette staring you down was not a good follow up. Nanako is rightfully mortified, Yu does in fact bake apology cookies, and Yosuke and Risette manage to drag the couple into an impromptu dance session to ease the tension just a little after nearly scaring the poor kid half to death. (The poor kid is someone in the Phantom Theives, because I saw a really cool AU on AO3 and it lives rent-free in my head. And I like the idea of Nanako becoming a Phantom Thief because “it runs in the family, thanks a lot Yu >:l “

Naoto ends up taking Aketchi under her wing. Does she mind? I mean, to her he’s not entirely horrible. Is she pleased with his actions? …that’s debatable

Inaba becomes known for having great weather. Except for the one time Marie catches a bug going around the town, that ends up behind a horrible mid-January snowstorm. .

Those are the ones I have right now. I’m still working my way through everything (HSR is taking over my brain, I love the Astral Express crew dynamic-)

(also I'm really disappointed we didn't get human Teddie dancing with the others. I need that boost of serotine of watching Yosuke and human Teddie try to dance together.)

[deliciouskeys]

Guess I should stop being surprised that Homelander fandom would contain people with massive superiority complexes. Maybe me complaining about this is ironic. But I’d like to humbly point out that I’m not the one saying I’m the only one in fandom who understands X. And I’m also not saying you need to agree with my tastes (or morality) when it comes to things I’d like to see put on screen. I’d rather be condemned for being disgusting than for being ignorant or inconsistent dammit!

unless the satire has gone over your head,

You mean… you’re concerned I didn’t notice that the video is saying Ryan is unaware that his drawing is super disturbing and that he is inadvertently showing Vought’s hand about HL’s true nature? Which part is going over my head? That HL doesn’t make an adequate or safe parent? I don’t think you need a fifth grade education to notice that. I suppose what I’m saying is, I would expect this tone in a “sitcom style diabolical episode”. Am I being that opaque that this is hard to understand? Yes, I want it to be funny. Hence it is for Diabolical, not even a stupid “dream sequence” inserted into actual canon, which you seem to be advocating. It is a crack scenario, jfc, lord help me, why don’t people understand what I’m saying, am I not speaking English, why do people at work understand me and people on tumblr don’t, fuck me, I should start writing meandering walls of text without punctuation then maybe it will be crystal clear since that seems to be the preferred writing style around these parts.

i could definitely see something like this ending up as a parody sitcom style cartoon done in a dark way on diabolical. and while i might find it hilarious, i'm gonna be upfront and say most of fandom who say they want it would HATE it.

Wow I had no idea I was getting the chance to converse with the one person in fandom who could find hilarity in the darkness among people who watch The Boys. Are you like, a celebrity, @sharonisthebettercarter ? Everyone else is just a pretender who thinks they understand but they don’t, and yeah we would cry so badly if this episode ever came out, omg Kripke is making fun of us, omg I’m so sad that I got what I asked for, I regret all my life choices, I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS ASKING FOR HELP ME @sharonisthebettercarter I KNEW NOT WHAT I REQUESTED *RIVERS OF TEARS* (but actually Kripke, yes, please do make fun of us, please “punish us”)

But you do have me nailed on one thing, @sharonisthebettercarter , and that is there is probably a defined limit for the amount of art ugliness beyond which I will start losing interest. Guilty and just as shallow as charged! 😁💋

On a less trollish note, check out this post by @kosmochlor for a good discussion about all that’s fucked up about Ryan’s messed up circumstances . Because that reflects my actual feelings on how bad of a situation the show has set up in a realistic sense.

Co-parenting Butchlander is a bad idea for canon even if done in the tamest way possible and I feel like this needs to be said because this shit is getting out of hand to disturbing levels.

Homelander is the rapist.

He doesn't have custody of Ryan. He doesn't and shouldn't have rights to him. After getting Becca (Ryan's actual parent) killed, and against her wishes, he has stolen or in other words kidnapped Ryan.

Ryan is not his to take and shouldn't be viewed as such. Just think rationally for a split second on this.

Do you think a rapist should have rights to custody of a child they force on someone just because that person chose to keep it or god forbid, couldn't manage to get an abortion? Do you think it would be okay for that rapist to then kill the mother or get her killed and steal the child simply because he wants to be a dad?

That's not cute. It doesn't matter what the rapist's backstory is, that's horrifying and wrong and so gross on so many levels.

And look, it's fine if you want to romanticize this idea for fics but that is the one and only place it should be framed this irresponsibly. Because it is a bad idea with horrible implications that shouldn't be rose tinted into something adorable just because there are a few moments Homelander isn't pushing Ryan off a roof.

And you cannot complain about canon treating Becca badly when you advocate for this in canon.

This would be so much worse by make her nothing more than an incubator for the kid of the guy who raped her and then steals her husband. And that is disgusting.

Can we not forget that Ryan and Becca are both victims here, for once?

Romanticize it all you want in fics. It does not belong in canon.

Context link: My dumb crack idea for a Diabolical episode that Anon is referring to

“Co-parenting Butchlander is a bad idea for canon”

Maybe it doesn’t really matter for this discussion, but : I wouldn’t consider Diabolical “canon”. They had an episode about a woman talking to her poop, with a Deep cameo because it involved a sewer. It’s not canon.

“He doesn’t have custody of Ryan”

Well… okay, this is interesting, Ryan is in his custody as of end of season 3, whether HL has legal custody or not. In fact, NYS law is particularly lax and kind of messed up in the sense that you need a rape conviction to be deprived of your parental rights to a child that is genetically yours (and wasn’t made via a sperm bank). So not that it changes things ethically, but legally speaking HL may have legal claim here until someone convicts him of rape or CPS finds his parenting criminally negligent/inappropriate.

“Do you think it would be okay for that rapist to then kill the mother or get her killed and steal the child simply because he wants to be a dad?”

Do I think it’s “okay” ethically, morally, legally? Hmmmmmm, idk, what do you think I think, Anon? I’ll clear it up and say: no, I don’t . But am I watching and enjoying a show that already portrays this fucked up scenario? Yes, I am.

“You cannot complain about canon treating Becca badly when you advocate for this in canon”

Were you up in arms about this Amazon video?

Because it’s along the same ‘teehee this is so fucked up’ humor lines that you are clearly revolted by. If you were, then okay, at least you are consistent. And I’m going to chalk it up to different tolerance/interest levels about fucked up scenarios.

Come off anon if you still think I’m being glib and “romanticizing” dead incubators. I promise I’m not that scary to talk to off-anon. I even promise to hear you out if I’ve misunderstood the problem you have with my hypothetical dumb spin-off plot that wouldn’t be part of canon. You’re allowed to disagree.

[fozmeadows]

race & culture in fandom

For the past decade, English language fanwriting culture post the days of LiveJournal and Strikethrough has been hugely shaped by a handful of megafandoms that exploded across AO3 and tumblr – I’m talking Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Dr Who, the MCU, Harry Potter, Star Wars, BBC Sherlock – which have all been overwhelmingly white. I don’t mean in terms of the fans themselves, although whiteness also figures prominently in said fandoms: I mean that the source materials themselves feature very few POC, and the ones who are there tended to be done dirty by the creators.

Periodically, this has led POC in fandom to point out, extremely reasonably, that even where non-white characters do get central roles in various media properties, they’re often overlooked by fandom at large, such that the popular focus stays primarily on the white characters. Sometimes this happened (it was argued) because the POC characters were secondary to begin with and as such attracted less fan devotion (although this has never stopped fandoms from picking a random white gremlin from the background cast and elevating them to the status of Fave); at other times, however, there has been a clear trend of sidelining POC leads in favour of white alternatives (as per Finn, Poe and Rose Tico being edged out in Star Wars shipping by Hux, Kylo and Rey). I mention this, not to demonize individuals whose preferred ships happen to involve white characters, but to point out the collective impact these trends can have on POC in fandom spaces: it’s not bad to ship what you ship, but that doesn’t mean there’s no utility in analysing what’s popular and why through a racial lens.

All this being so, it feels increasingly salient that fanwriting culture as exists right now developed under the influence and in the shadow of these white-dominated fandoms – specifically, the taboo against criticizing or critiquing fics for any reason. Certainly, there’s a hell of a lot of value to Don’t Like, Don’t Read as a general policy, especially when it comes to the darker, kinkier side of ficwriting, and whether the context is professional or recreational, offering someone direct, unsolicited feedback on their writing style is a dick move. But on the flipside, the anti-criticism culture in fanwriting has consistently worked against fans of colour who speak out about racist tropes, fan ignorance and hurtful portrayals of living cultures. Voicing anything negative about works created for free is seen as violating a core rule of ficwriting culture – but as that culture has been foundationally shaped by white fandoms, white characters and, overwhelmingly, white ideas about what’s allowed and what isn’t, we ought to consider that all critical contexts are not created equal.

Right now, the rise of C-drama (and K-drama, and J-drama) fandoms is seeing a surge of white creators – myself included – writing fics for fandoms in which no white people exist, and where the cultural context which informs the canon is different to western norms. Which isn’t to say that no popular fandoms focused on POC have existed before now – K-pop RPF and anime fandoms, for example, have been big for a while. But with the success of The Untamed, more western fans are investing in stories whose plots, references, characterization and settings are so fundamentally rooted in real Chinese history and living Chinese culture that it’s not really possible to write around it. And yet, inevitably, too many in fandom are trying to do just that, treating respect for Chinese culture or an attempt to understand it as optional extras – because surely, fandom shouldn’t feel like work. If you’re writing something for free, on your own time, for your own pleasure, why should anyone else get to demand that you research the subject matter first?

Because it matters, is the short answer. Because race and culture are not made-up things like lightsabers and werewolves that you can alter, mock or misunderstand without the risk of hurting or marginalizing actual real people – and because, quite frankly, we already know that fandom is capable of drawing lines in the sand where it chooses. When Brony culture first reared its head (hah), the online fandom for My Little Pony – which, like the other fandoms we’re discussing here, is overwhelmingly female – was initially welcoming. It felt like progress, that so many straight men could identify with such a feminine show; a potential sign that maybe, we were finally leaving the era of mainstream hypermasculine fandom bullshit behind, at least in this one arena. And then, in pretty much the blink of an eye, things got overwhelmingly bad. Artists drawing hardcorn porn didn’t tag their works as adult, leading to those images flooding the public search results for a children’s show. Women were edged out of their own spaces. Bronies got aggressive, posting harsh, ugly criticism of artists whose gijinka interpretations of the Mane Six as humans were deemed insufficiently fuckable.

The resulting fandom conflict was deeply unpleasant, but in the end, the verdict was laid down loud and clear: if you cannot comport yourself like a decent fucking person – if your base mode of engagement within a fandom is to coopt it from the original audience and declare it newly cool only because you’re into it now; if you do not, at the very least, attempt to understand and respect the original context so as to engage appropriately (in this case, by acknowledging that the media you’re consuming was foundational to many women who were there before you and is still consumed by minors, and tagging your goddamn porn) – then the rest of fandom will treat you like a social biohazard, and rightly so.

Here’s the thing, fellow white people: when it comes to C-drama fandoms and other non-white, non-western properties? We are the Bronies.

Not, I hasten to add, in terms of toxic fuckery – though if we don’t get our collective shit together, I’m not taking that darkest timeline off the table. What I mean is that, by virtue of the whiteminding which, both consciously and unconsciously, has shaped current fan culture, particularly in terms of ficwriting conventions, we’re collectively acting as though we’re the primary audience for narratives that weren’t actually made with us in mind, being hostile dicks to Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans when they take the time to point out what we’re getting wrong. We’re bristling because we’ve conceived of ficwriting as a place wherein No Criticism Occurs without questioning how this culture, while valuable in some respects, also serves to uphold, excuse and perpetuate microaggresions and other forms of racism, lashing out or falling back on passive aggression when POC, quite understandably, talk about how they’re sick and tired of our bullshit.

An analogy: one of the most helpful and important tags on AO3 is the one for homophobia, not just because it allows readers to brace for or opt out of reading content they might find distressing, but because it lets the reader know that the writer knows what homophobia is, and is employing it deliberately. When this concept is tagged, I – like many others – often feel more able to read about it than I do when it crops up in untagged works of commercial fiction, film or TV, because I don’t have to worry that the author thinks what they’re depicting is okay. I can say definitively, “yes, the author knows this is messed up, but has elected to tell a messed up story, a fact that will be obvious to anyone who reads this,” instead of worrying that someone will see a fucked up story blind and think “oh, I guess that’s fine.” The contextual framing matters, is the point – which is why it’s so jarring and unpleasant on those rare occasions when I do stumble on a fic whose author has legitimately mistaken homophobic microaggressions for cute banter. This is why, in a ficwriting culture that otherwise aggressively dislikes criticism, the request to tag for a certain thing – while still sometimes fraught – is generally permitted: it helps everyone to have a good time and to curate their fan experience appropriately.

But when white and/or western fans fail to educate ourselves about race, culture and the history of other countries and proceed to deploy that ignorance in our writing, we’re not tagging for racism as a thing we’ve explored deliberately; we’re just being ignorant at best and hateful at worst, which means fans of colour don’t know to avoid or brace for the content of those works until they get hit in the face with microaggresions and/or outright racism. Instead, the burden is placed on them to navigate a minefield not of their creation: which fans can be trusted to write respectfully? Who, if they make an error, will listen and apologise if the error is explained? Who, if lived experience, personal translations or cultural insights are shared, can be counted on to acknowledge those contributions rather than taking sole credit? Too often, fans of colour are being made to feel like guests in their own house, while white fans act like a tone-policing HOA.

Point being: fandom and ficwriting cultures as they currently exist badly need to confront the implicit acceptance of racism and cultural bias that underlies a lot of community rules about engagement and criticism, and that needs to start with white and western fans. We don’t want to be the new Bronies, guys. We need to do better.  

[wishing-well-writing]

Can we have Cookie Run five legendary heroes HCs please?

!GEN ANCIENTS HCs!

Written by: 🦷

Fandom: Cookie Run Series

Character(s): Pure Vanilla Cookie, White Lily Cookie, Hollyberry Cookie, Dark Cacao Cookie, Golden Cheese Cookie

Warnings: N/A

A/N: MOD 🦷 (ME) IS STUPID AND POSTED THIS EARLY PLEASE FORGIVE THIS FUCKIN IDIOT I'M SORRY AJXHAJDJ

let’s get crackalackin boyes

gonna start off with pronouns and sexualities because why not!

pure vanilla: he/they, i can see him as panromantic/pansexual, they have a lot of love (platonic AND romantic) for everyone, mostly white lily though :)

white lily: she/they/it, demiromantic/demisexual most likely... i can definitely see her as being aro/ace who is still interested/drawn towards the idea of a romantic relationship

golden cheese: she/they, butch lesbian vibes and unlike hollyberry the actual herbo of the group while hollyberry is himbo aligned (there’s a difference <3)

hollyberry: she/her, raging bisexual that’s himbo aligned, also very much full of love

dark cacao: he/him, demiromantic/demisexual with a preference for women

both golden cheese and hollyberry are pretty much somewhere on the butch scale tbh, hollyberry being like soft butch and golden cheese is Somewhere but she’s definitely there

also like golden cheese lies in the scale of “you’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice?”

where everyone else falls is up to interpretation because they’re all stupid in their own ways

okay now to other headcanons, this is going to be a mess of things LMAO

they all definitely have lights (i.e. pure vanilla and the light of truth, hollyberry with the light of passion, etc etc) we just don’t know the others (yet)

holly has an amicable relationship with her light, cheese and cacao probably fall under the more business esque, and vanilla and lily srtraight up never tell their lights anything

post-light of truth vanilla doesn’t have a heart so to speak, just some ball of light that acts as a heart

they technically died in the prologue but they’re fine, they have the light of truth keeping em alive

and by that extent he’s somewhere along the veins of immortal, as compensation (not really) he gets cool glowing veins/cracks on his skin

also golden cheese is a whole bird lady send tweet

when princess and tiger lily were born the other ancients also gave little blessings to them (sleeping beauty style)

since hollyberry blessed them to always be together or somewhere along that vein

dark cacao blessed them to grow up strong (princess and tiger lily being absolute butch queens runs in the family but the sentiment was there LMAO)

pure vanilla and white lily are kinda fuckin' dead so they're irrelevant to this conversation WBZKBSXKJD

golden cheese's blessing was for them to be more prosperous

since we're going under the assumption that her kingdom is rather wealthy...

maybe in terms of trade... but that falls more under hollyberry kingdom considering all their boats and such

also just "Hey check out this cool shit I have!"

golden cheese kingdom 🤝 hollyberry kingdom "trading!!!"

gotta get them shineys for princess somehow

assuming that dark choco was born around the same time as princess and tiger lily, or maybe even a few years BEFORE them, they oughta know each other in the vaguest fashion

but that's a later thing (maybe)

dark cacao definitely wanted to show his friends his son

pride and joy so ya know, come meet the future heir (lol not)

the eventual fall of the dark cacao kingdom was devastating to say the least, alongside the fall of the other kingdoms (well, pure vanilla's that is, hollyberry kingdom is doing just fine and we don't know jackshit about golden cheese BEJZBDJFJD)

and to learn that it was dark cacao's own son rubbed more salt into that wound

anyways

white lily local hermit since she doesn't have a fuckin' kingdom

good for it tbh, good for it

she does well on her own anyways, and was mostly by pure vanilla's side, observing and helping and whatnot

she learned a lot from pure vanilla, they learned from each other! besties sharing ideas because they're both geniuses but also dumb shits

white lily also sorta just lived in the forest

had her own little hut, it's still there if you look around

however it is overgrown, covered in leaves, vines, and well... white lilies :]

there's also hints of the other ancients there

notably a photograph/painting of all of them, it's covered in dust and mildly yellowed

a few frames are shattered due to the newly formed dark enchantress destressing in that hut before abandoning it all together

but it seems like she couldn't destroy them outright...

they're hidden somewhere in there, under all those leaves and vines

[pale-silver-comb]

So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals. 

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong. 

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day. 

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.) 

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.  

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.  

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.  

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon. 

[more-than-a-princess]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

NAME: Rae

PRONOUNS: She/Her. I try not to mind this too much but I really prefer she/her.

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord first and foremost if I’m chatting with mutuals I’m threading with or will be threading with soon. Tumblr IMs are fine otherwise.

NAME OF MUSE(S): Sonia Nev.ermind

EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): I’ve been writing since a year that begins with 19. I’ve come to accept I’ve been writing longer than some muns have been alive. Do not get me started on ‘back in my day’ stories about fandom and roleplaying communities.

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: In somewhat chronological order? AOL, Yahoo, AIM, YIM, Yahoo!Groups, Livejournal, Deadjournal/Greatestjournal, forums and emails, and tumblr. I missed the Myspace/Facebook/Twitter era of RP, mostly due to university monopolizing most of my time.

BEST EXPERIENCE: Meeting some RP friends in real life! We aren’t as close as we used to be, but I have acquaintances that I began writing with over 20 years ago, and I last saw one of them about 10 years or so. Real life jobs and new fandoms/interests/hobbies make it hard, but we stay in touch via Facebook.

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: I have a lot of these, to be honest. Most of them I tend to just ignore the best I can, or I choose not to write with someone because of it. But the top three that annoy me (beyond formatting issues) are:

1. Not writing rules or bios and not reading rules or bios. For the most part, content and style differences can be accounted for and addressed early as long as muns both write and read rules and bios. Where bios are concerned, description definitely helps, even with ‘popular’ canon muses. It gives me an idea of how you see and describe your muse, as opposed to bullet point facts (age/race/sexual orientation/etc).

2. Muns who continuously ask for memes and new threads while not replying to any of the interactions they currently have. Mostly as this often leads to no real character growth or development and an overwhelmed mun restarting all of their interactions or the blog itself. To be fair, I understand if someone is new or has unexpected life issues that result in this: this is more for the chronic meme/thread hoarders who delete and restart constantly. I feel like those muns don’t really care for writing at all, just notifications and asks. Which is off-putting.

3. Muns who continuously ask for romantic ships while not replying to threads/interacting with blogs. This is mostly because I don’t write an insta-ship muse, I write a slow-burn muse, and generally approach romantic relationships based on threads and IC interactions: let her meet your muse first and get to know them, and see if the chemistry is there. I don’t go into writing with a mun with a romantic ship in mind, right off the bat: mostly because it’s hard to deliver with threads if my muse just isn’t feeling it.

However, I recognize it can help break the ice, and plot, for some mutuals to establish a romantic ship immediately. It just doesn’t work for my muse, and so I tend to be uninterested in writing romantic ships with blogs who continuously keep asking for them. Can’t our muses meet as friends, to start at least? ☹️

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: Yes. I write all of these, as long as they make sense for the thread and interaction, and my writing partner is comfortable with these topics.

PLOTS OR MEMES: Also yes! I just don’t like one-liners or starter calls, mostly: I like having the guideline of a meme or a plot idea for someone before I write a starter.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Long. It’s always been that way for this blog. I use shorter replies as crack threads with mutuals, usually ones I have other established threads/interactions with.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: mid-afternoon to evening, after work and after I’ve had some caffeine in me. I’m most grouchy and tired in the morning, the entire morning.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): Sonia and I have some common interests and, since my own style veers on the side of classic, vintage, and feminine, I do style her in clothing pieces I own or would like to. We also both come from well-off families, and sometimes I throw in details or situations I’ve either seen or have heard about from others. But she’s very chipper, optimistic, and friendly, and I’m far more blunt, cynical, and sarcastic.

Sonia loves Shi.rou Emi.ya. I love Lord El-Me.lloi II. If that doesn’t show our differences, I’m not sure what does (I don’t often have anime husbandos but the grumpy professor does it for me!).

tagged by: Stolen!

tagging: You!

[twisted-imagines]

Hello! May I request some sfw and nsfw relationship headcanons for the Savanaclaw dorm students Jack, Ruggie, and Leona please?

I... genuinely didn't expect it would take so long😶 It's finished now and I really hope I did the boys justice in these headcanons😅 A lot of them already circulate in the fandom or in the discord(thank you guys!), but I still decided to flesh them out and include here.

Whew, that's my biggest work so far, whooping 6k words. Also the boys required adding female♀️and male♂️-specific bullets, hope it's fine with you. Still no read-more, I'm sorry for every passerby out there.

Please prepare yourself and enjoy💗

Savanaclaw relationship headcanons (SFW/NSFW)

Jack Howl 🐺

Sfw

• So that's the men they talk about, behind whose backs you feel like behind a stone wall? Not only is he big in stature, but Jack is also very reliable. Except for being your boyfriend, he's also your best friend and the biggest supporter; fan, if you may. There's nothing you can't discuss with Jack or ask for help with.

• Actually, the process of transition from friends to lovers was very hard for him, mainly because of how shy he was at first. One day you speak like always, discuss college and laugh together, and the next day he's a blushing mess, unable to say a coherent sentence to you. That day you asked him, whether he was ill, but the ones you actually had to ask about his state were his seniors who, as a gesture of goodwill, confronted their dear junior about his not so obvious crush on you the evening prior and ultimately turned his world upside down, when he finally realized that he liked you more than a friend.

• His bashfulness doesn't go entirely, no matter how long you date. Holding your hand in his still makes his cheeks red, hugging you makes his heart beat faster and kissing? Rest assured, you're the one initiating it most of the time.

• Which doesn't exactly make your kisses less pleasant. Jack can kiss, and he does it exceptionally well. Jack's kisses are the most loving and passionate, starting out very sweet and slow, and gradually becoming deeper and more intense, leaving you breathless. He's a type to cup your face and hold it there just gazing at you with lovesick puppy eyes.

• Jack is an open book. Whether he's happy, sad, angry, tired, or just thinking about something, it's pretty easy to spot and after some time into relationships you won't have problems gauging his mood.

• But even in instances when his expression doesn't betray him, he'll still talk with you, Jack is pretty earnest. His goal is for both of you to feel comfortable with each other. He wants to know about your hardships and vent about his own.

• Jack doesn't let just anybody close to his heart, and when he does he can be very vulnerable with them. That's also why your arguments always have such a heavy impact on him. In the middle of a fight he's not going to back down, and it'll continue as long as one of you doesn't storm out, but when he calms down he's going to regret so hard. Most of the time, he would want to go and find you, apologize and mend things as soon as possible, even if he was indeed right. With his fluffy ears sticking close to his head and bushy tail hanging down impossible low, he would ask you to just speak with him peacefully, saying he didn't want for this atmosphere between you to last any longer.

• By the way, you and only you have the unique privilege to pet his ears and tail. It both stresses him, because of how shy he is, and turns him into a puddle of affection when you gently caress him. He swears to himself, he could spend his whole life on your lap.

Did he actually say it out loud?...

• Your boyfriend is plainly adorkable and you treasure him so much.

• Also consider chilling with him in his wolf form! He doesn't get why you're always so eager to see him transform, but as long as you're happy he'll oblige. Cuddling, or lying above wolf Jack is the most serene feeling in the world, it's like lying on the fluffy, warm cloud.

• Jack is a walking heater, he emanates warmth, when you just stand next to him. What a hot man~ You'll probably be so thankful for it in winter, cuddling up to him is just the best, and he won't complain much about your freezing feet, he loves you after all. But in summer? Wolf boy got used to your hugs and is actually offended you don't embrace him as much. You can't fathom how he doesn't boil from the heat by just holding you in his arms. Power of love, truly.

• Bear hugs? Who needs them, when you have wolf hugs! Definitely, a type to completely engulf his partner into a hug, even his tail curls around you. The spoon, and no elaboration on that. No matter who embraces whom, in Jack's mind it's already perfect.

• Definitely not the PDA type, Jack is pretty reserved, and the best you can get out of him when people are watching is a light peck to the head and hand-holding.

• Sometimes he sticks into troubles because of his temper and distinctive sense of justice. It's for you to de-escalate the situation before it can turn into something serious. He may grunt because those guys definitely deserved to have somebody teach them a lesson, but you try to explain to him that it's for the best, he didn't stay aside, and that already counts.

• He wants you to delegate him all physically taxing tasks, whether by carrying your shopping bags, giving you something from the shelf, or anything else really. Chances are, you're still weaker than him and he wants to take care of you, the boy feels so proud when he can help you! "W-what? Me, a good boy?! ",- yes, Jack, the best. He sometimes hates it so much, how easily you fluster him.

• He would like to create a morning routine together with you. If you're not as keen on sports, muscle building, or can't endure heavy physical training he will just be glad to have you doing morning exercises near him, he genuinely thinks of it as some form of bonding. You noticed that while being in relationships with Jack your lifestyle changed into a much healthier one.

• Jack can be very playful with you, at times reminding of an actual wolf. When he's in an affectionate mood he may discreetly nuzzle your face, nibble on your ears or pet your hair. Most likely he doesn't mean anything sexual by it, just enjoying your presence, by other times his touches mean an entirely different thing.

Nsfw

• He definitely didn't have any experience before getting intimate with you. He blushes so hard, you think he'll pass out from excitement and his tail is just a flurry of colors, with how fast it wags.

• The first time is messy and chaotic, he is totally lost and doesn't know where to place his hands and what to do. Thankfully he's a fast learner, the rate with which he improves actually amazes you.

• The first time he goes down on you is a disaster too. But he's getting better quickly, and where he still lacks the skill, he makes up with determination. He's not leaving his place between your legs, until you cum at least once; if his jaw locks, he doesn't care. Jack gets addicted to your taste and he's the happiest when your tights are around his head, hands tugging on his white locks and the smell of your sweet arousal enveloping him.

• The first time you go down on him boy dies and ascends. Poor wolf cums in a minute and when he sees you struggling to swallow his cum? Jack swears he has never become hard so fast. Blowing him means freeing a good amount of time in your schedule, because, even if he gets embarrassed about it later, he'll hold you down there for a long time. He feels just pure bliss when you suck and lick him.

• Before you even try to initiate something in public, he's already looking at you with judging face. He despises the idea, that some other people may do such things in public places, so Jack himself is not going to engage in them.

• Pet the dog the boy! Do it, he'll be ecstatic. The base of his ears and tail are his most erogenous zones. He'll let out the neediest whines when you touch him, it's a sure way to get him in the mood. If you take back your hand he will growl softly and chase after it.

• While his growling may sound threatening Jack doesn't mean anything by that, he's just trying to release tension from being aroused. He's actually very tame, never exceptionally rough with you, unless it's your goal to rile him up. Jack doesn't fall entirely into sub/dom classification, he's vanilla, but he prefers to be on top and do the most of the work since it means he'll get to enjoy your whole body and he's all about expressing his love to you.

• The boy is pretty animated, but he always minds the volume. It's mostly grunts and growls, with occasional moans you adore so much. And feeling him growl when he's performing oral on you? Priceless.

• He has a knot. Even normally his cock's base is pretty thick, compared to the rest of the shaft, but when he's in you he rarely can withhold from forming a knot.

•♀️With female significant other Jack won't hesitate to beg her to let him put it in. The feeling of being connected like that with you makes him very emotional and appreciated even. It goes away after some time, and if you're worried about him actually knocking you up, Jack is actually very diligent about putting a condom every time you have sex.

• While he likes to see your face, the expressions you make, and that he can easily spot if you're not feeling good, Jack's all-time favorite pose is doggy style, how obvious. Having you on your four under him inevitably brings out his most carnal desires. Best believe, he's going to rock your world.

Ruggie Bucchi 🐆

Sfw

• This boy is husband material. Intelligent? Check. Good with money? Check. Knows how to cook, sew, clean, pay taxes? Check. Nobody will judge you if you propose to him after the first few months, Ruggie is good all-around if you've already learned to love him for who he is.

• The hyena boy is not very confident early into your relationships. He feels like if he starts to open up, you'll get to know him better and eventually... break up with him. He's on guard the entire time, trying to be a picture-perfect boyfriend, but it's so different from the way he behaved before, you can't help, but think something is wrong. At some point, all the stress from college, dorm management, and your relationships is going to get at him, resulting in you consoling him on your lap after he breaks down and cries from overworking himself constantly. After he's let it out if his system, venting to you about how anxious he actually is, and how he doesn't want to lose you, when you have just returned his feelings, you can finally soothe him and address what he's said. When he's in such vulnerable state, Ruggie really needs to hear that you want to see his other sides, even if he thinks they are not beautiful, that you are willing to accept him no matter what and he doesn't need to be perfect for you to love him and you're definitely not leaving him any time soon. This talk does make him feel more secure afterward and it's easier for him to rely on you a bit more.

• His love language is definitely acts of service! He loves to be helpful, to hear your praise when he's cooked lunch for you, took your clothes to the laundry for you, fixed your tie or shoelaces when you didn't notice it was loose. It makes him feel accomplished and you being grateful and repaying him for that, unlike a certain lion, is definitely a nice bonus. His preferred way is to receive your love in gifts, but you need to be careful with them! He won't appreciate you wasting your money on something stupid or of no use to him; it has to be practical, but not necessarily expensive. If you present him with a handmade gift though, he's going to treasure it, no question asked. The thought of you, spending time to create it with him in mind makes Ruggie feel warm all over.

• Quality time between you is very important for him too. A nice evening together, without the college, annoying seniors, and other distractions is perfect for him. If you can concentrate your attention solely on him, lavish only him with your touches, hugs, smooches, and words of praise, Ruggie is the happiest man alive.

• For your dates he prefers to stay inside, prepare dinner together, dance and fool around without the care in the world, watch some show popular in Twisted Wonderland right now or groom each other. Yes, Savanaclaw guys do like self-care evenings from time to time, Ruggie in particular likes when you trim his nails, you find out that they're much harder than human nails, or comb his hair and pet those fluffy ears.

• If it's a special occasion, he won't be against going to some nice restaurant or cafe, he does know that it's important for couples to go out together, even if your budget may not be that big. Reserving pricey dates for holidays and important dates leaves him some time to save up money and feel prepared.

• The type that claims that's he's the big spoon, but the moment you lie down together, he's already cuddling up to your chest like the smallest spoon that he is. Ruggie loves to be close to your heart, listen to it's heartbeat, feel your warmth around him, it's such a blissful feeling for him. Just sometimes or when you ask him to, he'll hug you from behind and whisper sweet nonsense into your ear, assuring you that he'll protect you and everything will be okay.

• He may seem this confident, self-assured, and quite bold young man, who isn't shy at all to show his love for you, freely kissing and flirting with you. The truth is, as soon he's out of your vicinity, he's blushing like mad, while his heart is hammering in his chest. He's not used, definitely not used to courting somebody, it makes him so nervous, but it's not like he'll ever admit this.

• He doesn't like to be called cute, at all. Ruggie doesn't associate it with a compliment and he would rather have you think he's handsome, pretty or sexy but not cute, might as well say that he's weak or you don't see him as a man. He's can be pretty stubborn when he wants to, so what's left for you is to choose other words of affirmation.

• In Ruggie's mind kisses and embraces are an intimate practice. He can tolerate casual touching, give a friendly pat on the back, or even put an arm around somebody's shoulder, but he has to draw the line at kissing and hugging. He feels very grossed out when someone he doesn't trust enough tries to breach his personal space like this and evades it like the plague. Most likely, you're the only one who he has ever had close enough relationships with to do these things.

• Ruggies kisses can vary. Sometimes it's just a quick peck when you're passing by in corridors. Other times it's loving french kiss that leaves you both breathless, and which the boy tries to save for when you two are alone. But when he's jealous or feels threatened as in seeing a particularly noisy suitor of yours making rather bold moves, he won't hesitate to show his tongue down your throat right before them to get his message across.

• This hyena is very possessive. He still remembers how it's like to not being able to eat your food on your own, to not have a constant safe place to sleep at night, to feel like the worst, least deserving flea ever, not being able to protect what is yours. He still struggles, but he's no longer the scrawny, weak kid he was before, and he finally has the power to preserve what he treasures. And you're one of his treasures: the most beautiful and kindest being he's ever met. When you are by his side he feels like he could take over the world and waking up at the morning has never been so easy for Ruggie, for he knows he'll meet you today once again, and will be able to hug, and kiss, and hear that you love him.

• You'll have to learn it the hard way, that his history made an impact on his morality. As long as his ways are beneficial to him, to you or to his friends, Ruggie has no qualms doing the dirty stuff. It's not always violent in nature, but he broke bones with his unique magic before, you even was the one to out him on that, but it doesn't mean he gave up that mindset completely. It anything, he has now learned to go with more complicated, round-about strategies. Leave justice and righteousness to the folks like Jack, Ruggie is not as naive to think that the world is fair and he knows he has to work hard for the things he knows he deserves. But you're with him for reasons, and not letting him loose all his compassion is one of them. Sometimes it's important that you work as his moral compass and stand up and firmly tell him out of doing something that you deem wrong.

• Your arguments are almost nonexistent since most of the time Ruggie is the first to back down and accept your point of view. He almost never loses his cool and If he thinks you are not right, he'll still agree with you just to pacify you enough so you would discuss it with him and reach a consensus. Ruggie doesn't like to fight with you, he would rather fix the problem right at the start, so it wouldn't escalate, than wait until one of you can't keep silent anymore. By considering each other's opinion and working around them, your relationships remain healthy and beneficial to both of you.

Nsfw

• You can't help but question, whether it's actually his first time as he's said or not, but you aren't going to complain, with how he masterly finds and stimulates all your sweet spots.

• ♀️He will fulfill his position on the top without a fault, but if you seek something else entirely, he won't disappoint you either. Ruggie wholeheartedly thinks that the best place for him is where you say him to be. He will attentively listen to your commands and fulfill them to his best ability, just for a chance that you'll praise or reward him in some way. Handle him the way you want, he's already on the seventh cloud to be able to mate- oh, he meant to make love to you. In short, Ruggie is the best hyena boy, who'll submit to you in a breath.

• ♂️ The brattiest bottom, and none other than you got him. Prepare to wrestle him, quite literally, for a chance to have him underneath you, or just around you. Unless you prove that you're deserving of it, he's not going to relent. But the gratification for it is immense: the blushing, whining, breathless mess that Ruggie is when you're done with him is truly the sight to behold.

• Ruggie has nice stamina and can handle a lot, and is even somewhat masochistic, but degradation and punishments don't sit well with him and make him very uncomfortable in the end. If you want to discipline him for teasing you on public or getting it on without you, the best way to make him realize his mistake is through orgasm control. Crying from over-stimulating or from broken orgasm makes him learn the lesson, but not feel disrespected deep down. Just edge him for hours on end and he'll be as good as gold the weeks afterward, until he starts thirsting for your treatment once again.

• It's either raspy dirty talk or loudest, most sinful moans possible, no in between. Poor residents still can't figure it out who keeps them awake at night, the pornstar worthy cries just don't tie in with the image of petite vice dorm leader, and even if some of them understood, one glance is everything it's going to take to silence them.

• ♀️ He loves the feeling of being in you, how warm and tight it is, but don't hide the strap-on too far, he loves it equally as much, the devilish glint in his eyes tells it all when you first suggest it. Ruggie receives it very eagerly and is very supportive of the idea of adding it when you have some "alone time" together.

• He's a putty in your hands when you blow him. The hyena feels very special when you pay such close attention to his dick and can't handle it for too long. Blow jobs are definitely the currency he accepts for being an amazing boyfriend and it's a treat he always looks forward to.

• Considering his stature, he's definitely not the biggest one out there, but does he know how to use it, and what positions make both of you feel good. A grower, you sometimes question yourself, if it's some kind of magic.

•♀️You on top of him makes him not under the collar at any time, but especially when you fuck. No matter if he's penetrating you, or eating you out, he's overjoyed and so head over heels for you. And does he love to go down on you. Ruggie adores your clit, and always pays it the utmost attention. Hyena boy loses the feeling of time when he is there, smothered by your tights and licking, tasting, sucking, drinking your juices, and enjoying your moans. You'll have to forcefully remove yourself from his mouth because he's not stopping on his own, even if you're already tearing up from overstimulation.

•♂️ He's going to demand to be on top, even if he's the one taking it, he wants to have an illusion that he's in charge, even if you ram his ass like there's tomorrow. If you're the one receiving his cock, hands down(ha!), he positions you into a doggy style, the penetration is amazing and his hip game is top-notch, you'll have a hard time declining him a top position afterward.

• He can be pretty stealthy, when he wants to, so if you're up for it he will gladly finger you/give you a handjob under the table. The feeling of his calloused fingers in your most intimate place can bring you to orgasm very fast, not to mention how skillfully be moves his hand. Oral in a hidden alley? Not entirely out of the plate too. And the way Ruggie deals with accidental witnesses or uncomfortable questions still hasn't made you face consequences, so it's definitely working.

Leona Kingscholar 🦁

Sfw

• Stupidly sexy lion. He knows the hots you have for him are immense and he's going to use it against you. If flashing the cockiest smirk you've ever seen and whispering in your ear is all it takes to convince you to sleep with him, ditch your homework, to laze around with him or just generally pay attention to him, he's going to abuse it as much as he can.

• You feel like you've become ten times lazier since you've started to date him, he thinks that you just spend quality time together as a normal, lovable couple.

• It's pretty much impossible to make him do anything, even if you're his significant other now. He's not helping you with your crappy homework, neither will he buy you anything from the store or cafeteria, even if he's walking by it. Get your own shit. Even better, bring him something too, since you're going anyway.

• ♀️ That's it unless you're a lady with a more or less firm grip. There's definitely more respect he pays to you, having grown up in the pride of Afterglow Savannah. Ladies first and foremost, he can't ignore it. Suddenly he's the one getting his own shit and bringing you whatever you want with a silver lining, probably not looking the most enthusiastic about it, but you're his woman and that's what you deserve.

•♀️The dream boyfriend when you're on your periods. He's getting you the right pads without a fault, knows just what snacks to bring you, heating packs are already there and an even hotter lion is embracing you and petting your hair.

• Still overall Leona is not your prince charming, and your relationships are full of compromises and until Leona finally understands that it takes two to tango, it's on you to support them. Which can be pretty hard, but the pay off is big unarguably.

• Your arguments start out calmly, up till the moment Leona gets sick of it and then the worst starts. It takes time for the situation to escalate to that point, Leona does have some patience and sense in him, but once you both are angry and don't hear each other prepare for this fight to leave no stone unturned.

♀️With a lady, Leona will be pretty tame, and rather than shouting he'll be growling lowly, which isn't less aggressive, but the chance of him scaring or snapping at you is pretty low. He'll be the first to storm off, not having the patience to stand it anymore and unable to let it out because of his innate respect for you.

♂️It's brutal, even if he's meters away from you. He hates to be bossed around or scolded like a guilty kitten and you remind him of all the arguments he had with his family at home, which makes his blood boil. The best course of action would be for you to leave him alone for the time being and patiently wait when he's up to talking again.

Sometimes you talk and the problem is solved and you don't return to and quarrel about it ever again, other times Leona just plainly drops the subject before it comes to bite him in the ass and you have a fight again. You have to be the smarter one with a hot-tempered and prideful boyfriend that you have, for arguments to not shake your relationships, and even straighten them.

• When he's not sleeping Leona can be quite cute and affectionate with you, corny when he's on a mission to make you blush. He doesn't care if anybody is round, you're the only one who he sees and right now he wants his wake-up kiss and nobody can stop him unless they want a couple of broken bones. You got into trouble because of his careless nature a lot of times, but when you look at his charming smirk and naughty eyes you can't resist him which allows him to peck you ten times more until you either drag him to a hidden from prying eyes place, or others shout at you to get a room.

• One kiss is never enough for Leona, especially since he doesn't acknowledge close-mouthed kisses and not the one to ever restrain himself. The make-out sessions are frequent and very heated, with his hands roaming everywhere, low groans sending pleasurable chills down your spine. What a relief he's usually in the places where no noises and people can disturb his sleep, or "bonding time" with his mate.

• The biggest spoon, he almost never gives up his place. If you catch him at his sleeping spot somewhere at the botanic garden or square and he's awake enough to spot or smell you, he'll trap you in his grasp and not let go until it's either time to eat or return to dorm. Crying that you have important matters and you can't just rest like that is futile. He's pretty warm too and even more cuddly than Jack, so prepare to suffer. But it's also very sweet how pissy he gets when you try to leave, clutching your form closer still, employing even his tail just not to part with your comfortable presence. The only time he's willing to be a little spoon is when he lays on your lap, happy to receive pats and scratches to his ears, at times like that he feels practically blessed to be with you.

• He may not show it openly, but he cares. He cares so much about you. He knows your likes and dislikes, maybe not precisely, but it's already outstanding for a guy who mostly gives no shit about people other than himself. He knows how to make you happy when you're sad or stressed, and how not to worsen your state. He'll talk with you about your problems to help you find a solution, and when you thank him for helping you, Leona will just brush it off and say that you were the one to come up with it. He's also just fine with lending you an ear, even if inside he wants to turn into sand whatever or whoever made upset. Yes, if it's alive, they will probably not be happy that they survived, because the following day will be a total nightmare for them. Nobody in their right mind would harm the lion's mate, and Leona makes sure everybody knows that.

• He's quick-witted and can come up with smartest, most efficient ideas in no time, but he's always too lazy or doesn't see a point. If you're needing his help, he may consider it, but you still receive a negative answer sometimes. Unless you have something you can offer, which for Leona you always do. The answer is straightforward - you.

• When you stay at their dorm, Ruggie always dumps his usual responsibilities on you. Leona has to wake up to his morning classes and how you manage to do it is on you. And bring his breakfast, or he'll forget and by the time he remembers nothing is left for him already. Also, braid his hair, and exclusively to you, try to not be taken to bed once again. It's quite rare you complete your quest. Other times Leona just takes advantage of it and skips the day entirely, lounging around and doing stuff with you.

• Ruggie and Jack admire you for how you can put up with Leona's lazy lion ass and how you get along and accept Leona-senpai even though his character is like that each respectively. Both agree that it's quite a feat you didn't bailout in the first weeks. They notice how much Leona mellowed down, in a good way, when he got together with you and are quite glad that the senior found such a person to love as yourself.

• Jealousy over the roof, but you won't ever catch the wind of it. He's good at pretending, and he can't let you know that he's about to chew this poor soul head off, together with their limbs and flesh. In his mind you literally belong to him, only he is allowed to flirt and tease you. He'll try and lead you away as nothing has happened, but his blood is boiling.

• Being Leona's lover means getting the privilege of being called "aunt/uncle" by small Cheka. He loves you so much, the lion cub looks forward to playing with you and his uncle when he visits NRC. It's the rare instances when Leona doesn't conceal his jealousy and demands your attention back openly. You think it's funny how he feels challenged by the kid, but choose to watch from the sidelines, how instead of being scared of fuming uncle Cheka just goes to give love to him instead. Leona thinks that you get along well with children, and just sometimes imagines how would you look caring for your own cub. If you ask him why he's spacing out like that, he'll just huff, but the small blush will remain on his cheeks for quite some time.

• "And what should I do with you?"

"Love me, feed me, and never leave me."

This big ass cat just needs your TLC to enter his cat heaven.

Nsfw

• The ultimate pillow prince. Love him and fondle him, kiss and bite him, he'll take everything and then ask for more. He'll agree to everything as long as you keep the good stuff coming. He even tries and acts like he's the one in charge, but you know that you're the one doing most of the work and his bravado is just for show.

• But when he needs to really show you who is alpha here he won't half-ass it. When he's especially angry or jealous Leona is not releasing you from his room all day long and goes to extreme, by his and probably your standards, lengths to prove that you don't need anybody else, and only he can satisfy your every need.

• He has had sex before and that's a fact, but was he ever so emotionally connected to somebody else? If his intense gaze and low roars tell you something, it's that he has never dedicated himself to somebody, neither in or out of bed.

• Unashamed nudist, Leona will fuck you just anywhere as long as you both want this. Charm to the max, when you say that you're worried somebody will walk in on you. "You're not thinking about anybody else when I'm right here, kitten".

• Blowjob is not just a way to motivate him, sometimes it's the only way you can make him do something. Prone to throat fuck you on occasions when he has the spare energy. More often than not just lets you take all matters into your hands and do whatever you want. If not for those quiet grunts you would think he fell asleep again. He did not, the man is living his best life.

• Animalistic growls, groans, and grunts are heard in Savanclaw hallways when you make love. While he may not be the most vocal lover, he doesn't hold himself back either. You make him feel good, and he lets you know about it.

• Leona Kingscholar is massive and he knows it. As if the big dick energy wasn't already radiating off of him, he actually has a lot to stress it. "Not the most human dick" squad, he has the penile spines, though not as painful as in actual mammals, they just add more excitement to already satisfying feeling. Best believe, he knows what to do with this package to make you see stars.

• As long as you're above him he's content, missionary, cowgirl, 69 you name it, he loves it. Do mind that his trust power is bruising, not taking into account his size, as a result, you won't be walking normally, if at all if was especially fired up, the following day.

•♀️While you're up there, might as well sit on his face and let him have a snack from his personal five-star restaurant. He loves every minute of it and can probably stay for days there, making you come over and over again because he's so damn good at it too. He knows just how to lick, where to apply pressure, what to do with his fingers, and that rough tongue is plainly amazing. Never heard of it before? Now you did and it has the most mind-blowing sensation against your labia and clitoris. So messy, Leona is; when you finish with him he'll have your slick and cum smeared all over his face, which he doesn't mind at all, licking off what he can, successfully making you turn even redder from the erotic sight beneath you.

• ♂️ The sloppiest suck you'll ever get, nobody can challenge Leona on that. It would be nice if he just repaid you a bit more often. You'll probably learn to treasure his blowjobs, because of how rare and memorable they are simultaneous. The king, oh this irony, of deepthroating, you wonder if this man even has a gag reflex. Apparently, he does not, or just holds himself together very well, because he'll remove himself only to breathe in some air before he goes to town on you once again.

• Does he have a nice imagination, this lion. It's not rare for him to just daydream about fucking you in any setting possible, pop a boner, never do something about it and just drift off again. The reason he always turns your cutesy cuddly times into marathon sex is because he's always horny, but rarely acts on it and just opts to let off the steam together with you.

• Prepare to be littered with bites and scratches, the sex with Leona can be very wild. No matter your position you'll receive lots of marks all over your body, and don't raise your hopes - you won't be able to conceal it, for he chose very specific areas that are always seen by others, Leona is a possessive man after all.

[lilover131]

Chapter 57 Analysis

I’m alive!!! I apologize for taking so long to talk about this chapter. I had been struggling gathering enough energy to do this due to some mild health issues and honestly barely got through my CLAMPtober drawings (thank you SO much for all the support during all of that btw. You guys really helped keep me going). I had intended to even write fics and post one of them on Halloween too, but it turns out severe anemia is no fun at all and just throws a wrench in things. Lol. I’m recovering slowly and starting to feel a little more like myself, but I know it might take some time to fully get back to normal.

This chapter had very little Syaoran (much to my dismay), but was still fascinating and brought up a lot of interesting details that are definitely getting the theory gears turning for the fandom. There were some things that also very much amused me. Hehe.

Without further ado, let’s dig right in! See under the cut due to length and spoilers!

As usual, I’ll start off talking about the beautiful color spread. We’ve had seen an image before of Momo, Kero, and Suppi in their disguise forms, but this is the first image we’ve had of all of them in their true forms!!! Momo looks absolutely stunning once again, and it just makes me want to draw her again. Lmao. I’ll take another crack at it at some point (preferably when thinking about drawing right now doesn’t make me feel exhausted just thinking about it).

 The beginning of the actual chapter has a very familiar sight. We’ve all become used to CLAMP’s occasional storybook style storytelling, but another familiar sight is the design of ‘Alice’. We’ve seen this before in episode 55 of the original 90’s anime, “Sakura and Sakura From Wonderland”.

It’s really nice to see this version of Alice continue on through Clear Card now, but the story told is very different from the typical Alice in Wonderland story. It tells the story of a girl named Alice who lived in a separate world. She was raised by a kind family and was kind herself, but she had the unique ability to have premonitory dreams. One might think that this is Akiho, but I feel this actually fits Sakura best in this circumstance. After all, Sakura, unlike Akiho (poor thing), grew up with a happy loving family and has the ability to dream about the future. I don’t want to discount any idea of any hidden abilities Akiho may have being the magical device that her clan turned her into, but she certainly wasn’t able to grow up with a kind family. I believe truly that Akiho’s parents loved her, but Akiho unfortunately never got to know them, so it’s hard to say how much they were able to influence her personality now when she was such a young age during their living years.

 What comes next though is both fascinating and amusing. Alice finds a stray cat in one of her dreams and brings it home with her. The shape of the cat’s tail in particular seems to points towards this also being the ‘dragon’ we’ve seen in Sakura’s dreams and on the border of the backstory for Kaito (don’t think I missed those cats on the border of this story looking so similar to the dragons for Kaito’s backstory, CLAMP!!). It seems heavily implied that this cat is Kaito, which if that is the case, then… OMG YUNYA D KAITO IS ACTUALLY A THING?!!! LOL

 You might recall me mentioning a while back in July how I was talking to @meimi-haneoka​ about how I felt Kaito was much like a cat in personality (which also resulted in me drawing two pieces of fanart with Kaito having cat ears), and now I’m starting to think CLAMP feels exactly the same. Hahahahaha.

 Alice seems a bit distressed about what to do in this other world in her dreams, which is so different from her own, and she is guided by her cat. She was shown all sorts of things she had never seen before, but the detail in particular that stuck out to her the most was the bending of time (which definitely again points to Kaito).

Alice tries to look for a way back to her own world, and while doing so she meets “The Red Queen”. The bits of the story that CLAMP is willing to divulge at this point stops here, and it leaves me SO curious. It’s difficult for me to tell who has what role in this story, save for Kaito. Alice’s story fits Sakura best, but the part about the cat guiding Alice and showing her all sorts of new things also sounds like Akiho, so I find it difficult to tell who this is meant to be in CLAMP’s telling. Until we know more about the role of the ”Red Queen”, we’ll just have to speculate. I can also imagine Sakura as the Red Queen, considering we’ve already seen her in such an outfit in the second Clear Card opening. However, I honestly think it would be incredibly interesting to see Akiho in that role as well. I’m so excited to hear more of this story.

 The chapter flashes back to real life, where even Sakura seems to feel that the Alice story very much matches what is going on with her presently. In fact, it’s so accurate that Kero and Suppi even begin to question if Naoko has some sort of special abilities. However, Suppi mentions that it’s possible for tremendously creative people to possess some sort of a sixth sense, and that they are able to sometimes show something from not just the past, but things that happened long ago and even events that have yet to occur through their works.

 And can I just say that...like, something about this part just really resonated with me? Like, call me crazy, but I feel like this is actually incredibly true. I believe that super creative people are able to see the world and events in very unique ways much different than everyone else, so I think it’d make sense for them to inadvertently have a ‘sixth sense’. I honestly think that is something so super cool to think about, and I just love the way CLAMP introduces traits in ordinary people that are so incredible, they’re practically magic (like Tomoyo and her great observation skills). It’s almost like CLAMP is trying to tell us that we too carry our own sort of magic, even if magic itself isn’t real, and I’m just totally feeling it.  

 Sakura goes on to explain how Naoko described coming up with the idea. We of course knew already that Naoko thought of the two Alices when seeing Sakura and Akiho next to each other, but what ended up truly explaining Naoko’s writing was that Akiho had told her about her ‘Alice in Clockland’ book.  This really goes to show that although it’s a most definitely a special book to Akiho, she speaks about it to anyone who will listen like it is just any regular book. This further proves to me that she doesn’t truly understand what she actually has, but she knows it’s special nonetheless. That’s just something she feels in her heart.

 To Akiho, it is a merely her favorite story, however she does not realize that what she reads and dreams about is actually Sakura’s life and adventures capturing the Clear Cards. The book is even in a language she doesn’t recognize but is able to read due to learning/being taught how (it’s unclear which). I’m very interested to know how she came about learning how to read this story, whether someone taught her, whether this was something the book allowed, or if this is a skill she gathered through the magic her clan placed inside of her (they had mentioned wanting to send her to all sorts of places and have her read a great many books). I’m more inclined to believe that the Alice in Clockland book simply allowed her to be the one to read it. Naturally, when we first saw the book in chapter 12 in the manga, Akiho never got a chance to tell Sakura about the content of the story due to a very timely and likely very purposeful interruption from Kaito. After all, if Sakura knew the story, she’d likely recognize the details immediately, and that would obviously ruin Kaito’s very carefully laid out plans.

 But what made this chapter the most interesting was the fact that Kero actually had heard of “Alice in Clockland”. It doesn’t seem like he recognized it by name per say, which was very likely due to the fact that this is the name that Akiho has given it while it is in her possession (stated by Momo in chapter 50). I imagine maybe it was something about the mention of clocks that made Kero believe it might be the book he was thinking of, but seeing as the book’s name changes with each owner, it makes sense that he wouldn’t have recognized it for certain without seeing it himself.

Even more intriguing is how sentient in nature the book is implied to be. Sakura goes to find a picture she had taken of it, only to find it gone, and the only way she is even able to show an image of it to Kero and Suppi is via Record. The book appears to really go out of its way to hide from those it doesn’t want to be seen by and only appears to those it wishes.

 We then get a bombshell when Kero states that it was once in Clow’s possession, which isn’t entirely surprising. But what is surprising is that the spell that the book supposedly seeks out masters to complete could not be done even by Clow. Whatever the spell may be appears to be more than just forbidden or taboo, but rather labeled impossible. And seeing as Clow himself could not even achieve it and the book promptly yeeted out of his possession by burning up in his hands, it’s understandable how such a spell would be labeled impossible.

 I suppose that really raises some very important questions, and that is how strong is this book exactly, and how much magic does it require to complete this ‘impossible’ spell? Well, it seems believed by Kero and Suppi that Sakura was only able to capture it in an image via Record due to the book’s will, and Sakura has proven to be able to show almost literally anything she wants with this card in the past. Sakura’s strength is unreal and was already confirmed at the end of the original series to be stronger than Clow’s, so if the book is able to hide even from her, that really speaks volumes to the strength of Alice in Clockland as well.

 So, because Kaito is the one who created a contract with this book and Akiho was the one who named it, reads it, and currently possesses it, what does that say about them? Why did the book choose them when even magicians like Clow were unable to complete the forbidden magic successfully? I don’t think it’s necessarily because of the strength of either in terms of magic. Kaito may be an incredible magician, but Sakura still appears to be able to subdue him if she puts her mind to it, so he is not the strongest magician. And Akiho herself contains no magic at all. So knowing this, why did the book choose them? I think it chose them because it just wanted to see what would happen. Kaito seems willing to die to do this, so the book might be wondering “how far is he willing to go to achieve this?”, and I am even willing to bet that the book isn’t confident that Kaito can succeed either, even with his efforts.

 Akiho’s involvement with it could potentially be tied to the magic the clan and association instilled in her as well. The book that the clan and association used on her while performing their spell contained the dragon we’ve seen before on the cover, and we know that this dragon has made appearances in these dreams Sakura has had, so the two could be intertwined in some way.

  Another question that we have continuously had is what this impossible spell may be. Well, the only ‘impossible’ and definitely taboo spell that CLAMP has ever spoken about in any series with magic has been bringing the dead back to life. This topic is specifically mentioned in detail in Tsubasa, and even breaking the laws of the universe wasn’t enough to make that a reality. So my money is on that being the spell in question. I think everyone can relate to wishing that someone lost could be brought back again, but if this were truly what the impossible spell is, that brings up questions again as to why Kaito in particular wants to achieve this. I still believe that Kaito wants to revive someone, and I think that someone is Akiho’s mother. But time will tell for sure what their relationship was even like and what is truly in Kaito’s heart. If it turns out to be a different spell, I’ll be incredibly intrigued, as I cannot think of anything that would be more difficult or more desired by someone. A part of me hopes it is different, honestly, just for the sake of it not following too similar a formula to Tsubasa, because we already know that attempting to such a thing ends badly for everyone.

 Sakura then announces that she wants to speak with the book, much to Kero and Suppi’s surprise, but what I love in particular is how Kero says “I trust you on this one Sakura”. It shows that he really does have faith in her and is really going to let her handle things the way she wants now rather than keeping secrets or doing things behind her back to protect her, as most of them (including Syaoran) had been doing until a short time ago.

 She’s asked about whether she will accept the role of Alice now, knowing what she knows, and when we get her answer, it is while she is sitting at lunch with Tomoyo and Syaoran. Sakura decides to take the role and that she initially thought to decline it, but ultimately felt that something was going to cause her to end up playing the role anyways. I think what she’s saying here is that the situation feels a bit like fate is involved, and that there is really no use trying to fight it. In fact, she thinks it’s better to trust her instincts this time and go along with the current, and Syaoran, just like Kero, shows that he believes in her as well by agreeing.

I think Tomoyo can sense that things are a bit serious in the discussion, so she wonderfully lightens the mood by fantasizing about how excited she is to make her a dress to wear. I personally cannot wait to see what she comes up with, though I have a feeling it might be the outfit Momo placed her in when she dropped her into the dream where no one knew who she was. I think it would be fitting and certainly has an ‘Alice’ look to it, but I would also love to see something new.

 Sakura tells Tomoyo that she cannot wait to wear it, as she had mentioned before that she felt stronger and like she could take on anything while wearing the clothes she makes. She re-emphasizes how if she wears clothing made by her, she’ll be all right no matter what.

 After the sweet moment between the two, Syaoran asks the million dollar question of whether or not Akiho will take the other Alice role. Naturally, he must be curious considering all they’ve learned in the last few chapters.

 We don’t have to wait long to get our answer as the scene switches over to Akiho and Kaito’s home. Like I thought, Akiho thought about declining due to lack of acting skills, however interestingly enough she answers in exactly the same way as Sakura, claiming that she felt she would end up playing Alice anyways. Akiho, who doesn’t have magic, is also able to feel that pull of fate, and of course she feels it is odd coming from her, and she proactively claims it to be strange for her to say it at all (girl, I’ve been there and totally feel you)..

 What breaks my heart about this scene is her sad face in the next panel when she says “I don’t have that kind of power”. It is just another reminder of how she was a failure in the eyes of her family for not having magic, and Kaito appears ready to comfort her by starting to reach out, but suddenly pulls his hand back. It seems evident that there’s a lot he wants to say to her in this moment, but he doesn’t find it appropriate at that point in time. Perhaps a part of him wanted to tell her what he knows? Maybe about what he’s doing? Or maybe he’s just trying to keep his distance to avoid hurting her if he someday disappears. The only thing we know for sure is that in that moment, his heart desperately wanted to be heard, but as per usual, he stopped before treading too far. Once again, Kaito has silenced his heart and his true feelings, keeping them locked carefully inside.

 Akiho notices something is off right away, but Kaito smoothly changes the subject by stating that Akiho will not just play Alice, but become her, and this seems to be a lovely piece of foreshadowing by CLAMP. It definitely seems to imply that the climax is approaching and that something huge is going to occur during this play.

Akiho then, being the sharp girl she is, doesn’t even respond to that and insists in a gentle, but assertive way that she wants him to rest while she’s at school. It shows that even though Kaito is pretending to be fine, she can tell that something is very, very wrong, and she wants him to know how important it is to her for him to rest and take care of himself. Kaito naturally pretends to be oblivious to what she means at first, but then agrees, still playing off the situation as if nothing serious is going on at all.

 On the way out the door, Momo, being the fucking queen she is, gives the biggest death glare I have seen so far, and I’m living for it. That one glare says “You better fucking rest like she said or I will make you regret it!!!”. Hahahahaha.

 I can’t state enough how much I love how aggressively Momo cares about her family. The way Kaito smiles back though seems to imply that he has zero intention of doing any resting. And as expected, the moment he closes the door, he falls to his feet, shaking and breathing heavy. He says to himself that he can barely make his body move the way he wants anymore, which shows just how hard he had to work just to fake it in front of Akiho. Despite the clearly dangerous situation he’s falling into, he seems to disregard this again by stating that he merely needs to hold on just a little bit longer, and that the story will soon begin for what he has been wishing for. This only serves as further proof that the climax is approaching and particularly with the events of the play.

 The chapter ends here, but it seems that this chapter’s main focus was on the Alice in Clockland book. CLAMP wanted to introduce to us the idea of just how strong this book is and give some context as to how powerful the magic Kaito is trying to perform truly is. And then of course it develops more the growth of Sakura and Akiho, but also gives some hope that maybe Kaito will eventually listen to his heart soon. If such a small phrase from Akiho could almost stir him to say something, then it makes me hopeful that he is starting to break his walls just a little, or that at least maybe there’s a crack somewhere that will grow bigger with more time.

 Anyways, I can’t wait to see what happens next!!!!

[fanficlibraryposts]

Larry Stylinson(1D) Fic Recs

sleeping on our problems by falsegoodnight

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down. There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word. His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared.

-

Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

*A/B/O au, so soft and fluffy with just a dash of angst*

Foolishly, Completely Falling by dea_liberty

"Now that he’s actually gone and done it, there seems to be no way of going back - no rinse and repeat, no ctrl+alt+del, no abort button, no help to be had. He’s fallen into a black hole and he cannot seem to find a way out. The black hole is also known as Tumblr. More specifically, it’s known as Tumblr’s Larry Stylinson tag."

OR: The one where Louis becomes a Larry shipper by accident.

Put It All On Me by LoadedGunn

 "Yeah, yeah, give it to me, that's it, spread your legs a bit, there you go."

 The camera follows Louis as he does. Maybe if the modelling thing doesn't work out, he could try the porn industry. Then again, he's a bit too stocky to be twinky and a bit too twinky to be anything else. He likes that about himself, though. Well, directors and photographers like that about him. He could pull off pretty and edgy, could do GQ in the morning and a perfume commercial in the afternoon. Right now he thinks he could pull off anything, because it's Harry fucking Styles directing him.

Or, a Top Model AU where Louis is accidentally there to make friends, not become Britain's Next Top Model. (Also Zayn is the supermodel host.)

Promises We Made by thekindofworld

Its been five years since Harry and Louis broke up; they were seventeen and nineteen and it was messy to say the least. Cue Louis, who is worked off his feet making clothes for celebrities, Harry dropping his debut album, Niall who likes to avoid his insecurities by dragging Louis on Holiday, Zayn and Perrie as Louis' right hand stylists, and Liam who wishes Harry would just tell him about his ex-boyfriends before he contacts them about working for him.

Its either going to be a disaster, or the perfect timing they've all been waiting for.

*I’ve been very into fashion au lately*

but me, i’m not a gamble by orphan_account

A Posh & Becks AU in which Harry is a star on the stage and Louis is a star on the pitch, but they're both inexplicably terrible at articulating their feelings. In the end, it only takes a season's worth of failed matchmaking schemes, platonic dinner dates, road trip holidays, and one very convenient David Beckham cameo for them to figure it all out. And if Niall knew all along? Well, he at least has the decency not to be too smug about it.

Boys Fall From the Sky by fookinloosah

Superheroes. America is full of them — complete with masks, nauseating pseudonyms, and neon spandex suits. There’s none of that nonsense in Britain, thank you very much…until Harry Styles’ X Factor audition takes an unexpected turn, and Britain’s first hero is born.  

Also featuring Louis as a man of many masks, Zayn the rebel comic artist, Liam as Britain’s counter-attack to Justin Bieber, and Niall the trusty guitarist.

*I adore this fic, one my all time favorites*

The Last Something That Anything by jaded25

"You know my heart - so tell me honestly, did you ever really want this? So I’ll sing this song for every word that comes out wrong But I’ll be okay – is that what you want me to say?"

In the end, it's neither the fame or the pressure, nor Management or the constant hiding and denying that tears them apart. Or maybe it's a sum of all  and so much more on top. In the end, it's Harry.

When Harry leaves the band - leaves Louis - to pursue his dreams of a solo career, he breaks much more  than just One Direction. It's a gamble and a new start for each of the boys but while Harry walked away smiling, finally having got everything he apparently dreamt of, Louis is left to pick the pieces up.

Some hearts don't break even, some are simply shattered. So can you really learn to un-love someone?

*So deliciously angsty*

no pressure, no diamonds by karamelised

A life of crime means there is no nine to five, no white picket fence and definitely no happily ever after. In a life where lying gets you everywhere and stealing things becomes a sport, there is no place for romantic endings. Louis knows this, and so does Harry. Problem is, they're both wrong.

or

Louis is a thief, Harry a grifter. They are thrown together for a huge diamond heist in Paris, where their past soon catches up to them.

Blood Right by Evina1234

“Is that-him?” someone next to Louis asks. “Who else would dress in red if not for him today?” Beside Louis, Lady Camellia had her eyes locked on the one in red garbs, as same as many around them. Clearly this must be intended, or why dress in such a way today at first place? “My... He looks dashing." the first one licks her lips, eyes darkening in a laced lust. "Who would've known? Thought he'd be in chains, stuck in a dark dungeon." The other scoffs. “Have you been under a rock? He's the most privileged Lycan alive. The King's ward, some go so far as to call him his consort. It’s all hushed, but I have my sources.” she reveals like a dirty secret. In a world where the Vampires have taken over, Humans are just pawns in blood farms, Warlocks are extinct while the King has Lycans under his thumb - eliminating the threat of the lethal bite. The world is falling apart. Louis, nephew to the malistic Vampire King, lives away from it all in blessed ignorance until he gets dragged into the chessboard that traps him in front of a green eyed Prince who is bound to a miserable fate. Or where Louis wants to save Harold, the Prince of Lycans, when Louis' allies want him DEAD 

*super intense, vampire au with political intrigue mixed in*

the one that leads me on through by colourexplosion

Louis was certain that he was done with his tenuous connection with fellow skater, Harry Styles. But then, you know, the universe throws a wrench in all that when Simon takes Harry on for the next season.

Or, an AU in which the members of one direction are actually figure skaters.

Disclaimer: The fanfiction above were not written by me for I am not nearly as creative. However, I am an avid reader and movie buff so these are some of my favorite fanfiction within the fandom. I politely ask that you read the tags attached the fanfiction beforehand so that you know what you are getting yourself into, there may be crossovers. If you don’t like it then don’t read it. In addition, I ask that there be no bashing, the fics are based on my preferences and what I like. Lastly, if there are any specific genre or fandom of fics you want me to get into let me know through my ask box.