#and it REALLY freaked oli out. like really really bad. as it would with any traumatized small child

[phosphorus-noodles]

hi i’m back and i have questions about toh ren <3

is he more like the modern version of werewolves where when he turns he’s just a regular wolf with human intelligence, or is he like a traditional werewolf (anthropomorphized wolf)? i’m leaning more towards the latter since when eda transformed into the owl beast she still looked like herself somewhat. maybe when he’s transformed he can walk on four legs and two legs. like a bear

- declawed anon

definitely closer to traditional!! he's basically the wolf version of the owl beast yeah <3

not sure if he's just Like That or was cursed or turned somehow or if there's then like, the Wolf in his brain that he has to then reconcile with to manage transformations and whatnot, but he does overall manage it pretty well

that being said i think the most important thing here is that when he is in the Beast Form martyn is very much like this:

[blocksruinedme]

Not to give you more hope but through some deduction work reddit thinks that the first recording of HCX is today, 7 am Pearl time. Currently, Jimmy is live, and while he may not be live until then, I doubt he would be streaming if he was in it. Martyn is also streaming at this time. Scott, FWhip, and Sausage (and Shelby, but I don't think she was in contention) are also going to be live even later from now.

The new hermit shortlist is pretty narrowed down now... and Joel looks to be free...

(sorry if you aren't okay with me speculating in your inbox haha, just needed to share my excitement with someone and you seem pretty excited as well)

THANK YOU.

Jimmy - I have no idea why people have been discussing Jimmy. (Besides Jimmy is wonderful.) I truly think it would be a bad idea, and they all know it, especially the man himself. He'd get lost in the scope of it. He can't build big, he can't redstone, he can't automate he can't do wild games. It wouldn't be fun, I swear as a Jimmy obsessive freak it wouldn't be fun. (And there might not be enough men openly lusting for him to keep his shorts channel going.)

Martyn - Look at this asshole. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lcivLpAvC5s (him joking that he's on hc10). Martyn would be fun, but I'm not sure what he'd do? But he's a clever lad, he'd find his place. But I never considered it.

Scott - never really considered it, and honestly glad if he's out

fWhip - I'd be really into it, he's got the chops, but 1) someone told me he said he wouldn't 2) I need him running smps that Jimmy is on (he is working on one, yay. i assume Jimmy will be on because he said there's something coming, and also fwhip is obsessed with him /lh)

Sausage - what a fucking DREAM. I'd love it. I'm still going hard on my "it has to be people who did Decked Out, why would they consider or pick people and not have them over for that." People were talking on discord today about Sausage, and him and Keralis being... like that in the crossover, and I pulled out that early in Sausage's mcyt career, 2015, the coolest thing ever in his life was getting accepted to build on Keralis's server. This is a short intro video where he talks about what a sexy bastard Keralis is and how much he inspires him and gay stuff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjibFC5BRKQ&ab_channel=TheMythicalSausage

Shelby - First off, love Shelby. Second, I haven't seen her mentioned but idk why, is she close with any Hermits? Skill is good but they're inviting their friends, if you bring in someone who people don't jibe with, well, that's a huge fucking drain on your lives and careers

You didn't mention Lizzie, but if anyone is holding out for Lizzie, check how often she uploads. This seems unlikely. I'm told she said on her stream with Oli that she's semi-retired, which really tracks. She has fun.

PRAYER CIRCLE FOR JOEL AND SKIZZ

JOEL AND SKIZZ

JOEL AND SKIZZ

JOEL AND SKIZZ

If it's not Joel, I hope he's fucking delighted how much people want him on hermitcraft!

[veronicaphoenix]

DAY TWELVE REVIEW BY VERONICA - UNIVERSITY OF TUMBLR - FANFICTION DEPARTMENT - APRIL '24 - Words: 1.6k

I always have so much fun writing these things, but also I put myself through suffering because I have to reread all the angst, which I also love. Do I make sense? no.

Listen

OLIVER SAID THE THREE MAGIC WORDS!!!!! HE SAID I LOVE YOU!!!! AND I KNEW IT!!!! I LOVE MAKING ANALYSIS AND FINDING OUT I'M RIGHT!!! (I feel like I should keep writing in caps to convey my feelings but I also feel it might be too much, so switching back to small).

This was the most dreamed cliché scene ever, and I don't mean it in a bad way. A decade ago, whenever I read stories or watched movieS or wrote stuff myself, I always pictured this moment between the two main characters when they would finally sleep together and they would confess to each other. It was the climax of EVERYTHING. I feel like we all lived in that moment for a while, didn't we? when we thought that love was always sweet and blablabla. Now it's more like just spank me and call me good girl, you can make me breakfast in the morning and then profess your love with your mouth full of pancakes, but anyway... We didn't ask but YOU DELIVEREDDDD I needed this scene and I wouldn't have had it any other way!!! IT.WAS.PERFECT. I had butterflies in my stomach the whole time. It was all I ever dreamed of as a reader ten years ago with the level of maturity, highs and lows, that we didn't know back then but that WE STILL NEED NOWADAYS AS FREAKING ADULTS BECAUSE WE'RE HOPELESS ROMANTICS. Am I making sense? I'm just writing all these things without going back to edit, so I hope you get what I mean.

Moving onto the next thing:

He said I love you while being inside of her 🫠

Oh, I'm still stuck in that moment. Okay.

“Again,” I demanded.

“I love you.”

I would have been as shocked as her, and demanding the same thing over and over again. 😇 oli loves aubrey. national bank holiday please

"Oli avoided the playful slap coming his way, catching onto my wrist and pressing a kiss on it before letting go again." hot? better: HOT AND SWEET 😙

He sighed in mock annoyance. “You’re really going to make me go all sappy here, aren’t you.” Dude we love it when guys get sappy, so start talking

“I’m not letting you out of this bed until you do.”

“That’s not as much of a threat as you think it is.” I knew he would say this 🤭

“You don’t need to say it back,” he mumbled, stroking my hair in such a delicate manner that I wished I could purr to convey just how perfectly comfortable I was. He was trying to be brave. As if it was okay for him that he’d just bared his soul and I’d simply taken it all with open arms and a smile. As if he didn’t need to hear those words just as badly. That he could accept if I didn’t feel the same." L, your ability to make me go from BUTTERFLIES, FLOWERS, RAINBOWS, to my heart breaking is absolutely sensational and also dangerous. I'm scared of you now, and considering there're just a few chapters left... Please, be gentle with me 😔

The whole scene in the bed, so many i love yous, so many kisses... i'm on the floor and i will continue writing this review from there.

What I said about you putting me in a rollercoaster: one minute they're talking so softly and concerned about Noah, and then they're giggling because they realized now they're boyfriend and girlfriend. I need to do some meditation after each chapter of this fic, I swear.

Not Ruffilo writing his full name on the message 🤣

“You’re my girl for, what, four hours and you already leave me for another band!” He exclaimed, approaching me with long strides, hands immediately on my bare ass. He had only just managed to put on a pair of clean boxershorts and I repaid the gesture by letting my fingers trail down his chest. “Unbelievable.” Such a drama queen, jesus christ

“I kind of need to run an errand before bus call anyway.” 👀 I know from experience when writing about this guy that he's always up to something when he says things like this.

Another I love you! 😻 I will scream every time they say it to each other.

"But toward the end of the night he kept babbling about how he just wanted to talk to you, again and again.” come here, cupcake, you can talk to aubrey anytime you need to, we all want to help you <3

“That’s very sweet, but not answering my question,” I chuckled, enjoying the softness of his strands on my palm. “I hope they didn’t stress you out too much?” I really like the way Aubrey interacts with Noah, how she's so concerned about him and keeps checking in on him whilst letting him fuck her 🤭

He lied! I knew, you knew, we all knew. I'm so glad they're slowly coming to terms with their own feelings and learning about what they want.

"But the idea of anything more than that terrifies me.” we love and adore a brave and honest cupcake

“Now I can’t stop thinking about being on my knees for him all the time and letting him do whatever he wants with me.” 🫠 will i make it to the end of this fic? probably not

“Yeah? Is that what you want? For me to tell Oli to do you however he pleases? That you… want to be a good boy for him? Be told what to do? And you’d let me watch, too? Maybe get a little involved?” i just... can't.

“Do you know if Dom’s here yet?” Why did my mind instantly think that it was one of them referring to the other as the DOM as in dom/sub 😂 i really need to go to church

“So, who here is fucking because I’m getting mad sexual energy from all of you guys.” I like him already! hahaha

“Is that what you call his dick?” Oli's charm? Not a bad idea tho

I love me some curious Noah. I think his arch in this story is going to be the best one and I cant wait to see him happy, confident, and free <3

The poor cupcake is feeling insecure, nooooo "because they’ve known each other longer and they live closer together and… yeah.”

"Unless you’re joining an existent romantic relationship, this is new for all of you and you gotta figure out how the three of you work together.” This is such a good point, actually.

“Get to know each other as much as you can and never take anyone for granted. Make the distance work for you. Get everyone as involved as you can, but remember that when someone feels left out because of things like being far away, it’s not a matter of the other two loving them any less.” we're gonna have to give Dom an award after all

"Oli and Noah on the couch kissing so softly that it almost made my heart ache. They were fully intertwined, limbs entangled and all over each other and it gave me hope like nothing before ever had. That wasn’t making out or fucking for the fun of it. This was both of them pouring the emotions they couldn’t vocalise just yet into every single movement." I will print this out and read it like the bible every morning

THE KEYS TO HIS PLACEEEEEEEE WHYYYYYYY WHYYY HE GOTTA DO THIS I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM AND THEM PLEASE I CAN'T TAKE IT

AND HE ALSO GAVE A COPY TO NOAH BEFORE HE STARTED POUTING ON THE COUCH PLEASE

L, the transition from that moment to them getting intimate was so beautiful. My favorite part of the chapter without a doubt. The little details, struggling to undress themselves, then both men being shit at unclasping a bra 😍

“I get her nice and wet on my dick and then you finish her off.” everything'sok veronicasoknoneedtowrry

"My hands immediately flew back to his head, but he only needed to look up and shoot a stare at Noah for the other man to understand." When they communicate with their looks... that's just so fucking hot. don't give me a break i want more

“You want that, don't you? You want us to push your limits.” This is FORESHADOW TO THE ACTUAL THREESOME AND NOBODY CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE

The whole lyrics dialogue was so on point like, how did you do it? it didn't feel forced on the narrative or silly dialogue. I could actually hear their voices in my head, their expressions as they teased each other.

This work is a piece of art, in case i haven't said it before.

"Perfect little pussy that's just made for us." no but when they just talk about here like this? this is what i live for bye

!But none of them made their way out of my brain as sleep took over all three of us, letting us fall asleep in a puddle of post-orgasmic haze and at least temporary happiness.!

Has anyone else noticed that Aubrey is in a roll? she's been getting the d for four nights straight now (if i haven't lost count). EVERYTHING FOR THE QUEEN

2 MORE SLEEPS UNTIL NEXT CHAPTER, AM I RIGHT? (or two more days of no sleep, i'd say). The two things i'm more excited about is noah realizing he's also in love and being told they love him, and THE THREESOME™

in love with the mess - day twelve

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she’s decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and… well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : smut (p in v, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, some degradation), angst, fluff, Yungblug appearance lol

length : 8.3k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @jilliemiw86 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess @shilohrosechicken @justeli6 @starvingarsyn @floatinglikeaswan @blacksoul-27 @somebodyels3 @kageyasma @spikeisdaddy @broken0mens @sunsshinesunny

a/n : time to find out what you’ve been craving to know for a week! enjoy and leave a comment 💕💕

•••

day twelve

Spending the whole night talking after an exhausting show, knowing fully well we had an early bus call, a four-hour drive to London, soundcheck and another show, wasn’t the wisest decision Oli and I had ever made, but it was a completely necessary one.

Keep reading

[lottiebagley]

Don’t get over me- Fred Weasley

Fred sits with his arms crossed and a fake smile on his face. Half listening to George who is rambling on and Fred feels like his head is spinning.

The memory of her looking insanely beautiful and yet nervous as she entered the common room. She was timid when she asked Fred if she looked okay. She was laughing when he twirled her around calling her a princess. She was blushing when he pressed a kiss to her cheek before sending her on her way, watching as Alicia double checked the girls hair and touched up her make up before sending her out of the room.

He watched on the map, that he'd asked Harry if he could borrow for the  very reason of torturing himself, as she left the castle grounds. Blood boiling at the thought of her date asking her out and then not picking her up.

Blood boiling at the thought of anyone but him asking her out.

He scowls as he sits in the courtyard, George had coaxed him out into the summer heat to help get his mind off his best friend he was in love with and her date with Adrian Pucey.

"Here comes trouble," George calls with a smirk, the grin on his face falling immediately when he recognises the look on his girlfriends face. "Angie, what's wrong?" He questions worriedly, jumping up from his seat to approach her.

"Fred you need to come now," She instructs, George even more baffled and almost hurt that his upset looking girlfriend was seeking his brother for comfort.

"What's the problem?" Fred questions, not really in the mood to deal with whatever's happening, his plans to sulk all day ruined.

"It's Y/N, she just-" Angelina is cut off as Fred leaps to his feet, George not sure if he should feel happy Angelina is okay or worried for his friend.

"Where is she?" Fred demands, feet already carrying him away from the others

"Her dorm, but she won't-" Angelina sighs, giving up on trying to talk to Fred as he sprints away.

Having successfully knocked down a first year and been shouted at by Filch, Fred arrives at the Gryffindor girls dormitory. Stopping his sprint at the sight of Alicia, knocking on the door with worry in her eyes.

"What's going on?" Fred questions, panting slightly

"We aren't really sure. We were in town and she ran past crying so obviously we followed but she's locked herself in and she won't talk to anyone," Alicia explains as she moves away from the door to allow Fred to take her place.

"Thanks Al, I've got it from here," he smiles to the girl who nods and leaves the best friends in peace. Fred knocks on the door

"Go away!" he hates that her shouted response is enough to let him know she's still crying, he can hear the crack in her voice.

"Sweetheart, it's me. Can I come in?" he calls through the door.

"No!"

"Why? it's only me I promise," he sighs, she never turns him away.

"I don't want you to see me like this," she groans. His heart sinks in his chest.

"Lovie, I hate to be the bearer or bad news but I've seen you in some pretty low points, cleaned sick out of your hair, nursed you to health, we went camping and you didn't sleep for 32 hours and couldn't shower. Reckon I can see you upset, it's nothing I haven't seen before," he tries to compromise, his head leaning on the wooden door

"It's embarrassing," she cries out, voice cracking

"Whatever it is I will have done worse, besides, it's just me sweetheart, I'm not gonna judge you," he assures, not quite realising that it being him was the whole damn point, unable to say no to him she sighs and moves towards the door unlocking it.

Fred pushes the door open the second he hears the lock shift, throwing his arms around her in a tight bear hug as she sniffles into his shirt.

"What happened darling?" He cooes, moving carefully to sit on her bed and pulling her into his lap without a second thought, holding her to him as she stares at him. Her eyes look sore from crying and her nose is red, her makeup streaking and damp sticky cheeks and yet to Fred she's the most beautiful thing in the world.

"He stood me up," she admits, not bothering to try and hide what was sure to be the talk of the school no matter how embarrassing it is to admit to her crush. "He stood me up and his friends sat at a table and laughed at me,"

Fred feels his blood boil, his heart beating faster. He wants to throw her from his lap, find Adrian and pummel the guy to death and then find any friends involved and do the same to them.

Instead he forces himself to take a deep breath, pulling her back to his chest and stroking her back gently, whispering sweet nothings into her hair as another round of cries escapes her. He holds her close until she settles down in his lap.

"Hey, you listen to me sweetheart, he is so fucking stupid. You are the most beautiful girl on this entire planet and you are smart and kind and funny and if Adrian Pucey can't see that then good riddance you didn't give him a minute of your time. You can and will do so, so, so, much better than him and you saying yes to him is the best thing that'll ever happen to him and I mean that," He rambles, his eyes searching hers, trying to find any hurt in them so he can melt it away with gentle touches and loving words.

"I just feel so stupid," she admits with a sigh as Fred adjusts his arms slightly to better hold her on his lap.

"He's the stupid one. You, my lovely, are golden, and he's an idiot if he doesn't realise that,"

"I'm just never good enough,"

"Hey," he scolds lightly "None of that,"

"I'm not though. Not enough for him, not enough for Cormac-"

"That was a blessing," Fred smirks, laughing when she rolls her eyes

"Not enough for Leo, I mean I had a boy who is practically a saint and he cheated on me, not enough for my dad, not enough for you, not enough for Oli or Alex or Chr-" her ramble is cut off by Fred who's heart is falling to his feet.

"Me? What do you mean me?" he asks, eyes wide. How had he ever let this girl think she wasn't enough for him?

"I-it- I don't know," she sighs, he raises his eyebrows and she takes a deep breath before talking once more. "I guess, well- look don't freak out alright? I've liked you since third year and I always just thought if I was more. Y'know prettier and smarter and funnier- I guess I just thought if I had been enough you'd like me back, but you don't and that is fine. I don't hold  it against you and it's not your fault and I don't want this to change anything and-" she cuts off her own ramble, her tears misting over once more at the feeling in her stomach. She was about to loose Fred. "Please say something," She whispers.

Fred had never been someone who struggled to talk, but, in that moment he feels his entire world stop spinning, everything falling into place and his heart soaring.

"Like me?" He questions

"Yeah. It's why I said yes to Adrian, thought maybe it would help me get over you,"

"Don't do that," He speaks too quickly "Don't get over me," he demands, she blinks a little "Get under me- wait!- I didn't mean- well you can if you want I very much welcome that-I just- I have liked you since the day I met you on the train and I never said it cause I didn't want to ruin us but, sweetheart, I liked you so much it might even be love and I have wanted this forever," He rambles, his breathing becoming easier when a large smile overtakes her face.

"I could get under you," she teases, giggling as he rolls his eyes, leaning down from her seat in his lap.

Her lips meet his and the whole world takes a moment. Nothing matters. Not that when he cups her cheeks in his hands her face is damp, not the slightly salty taste of her tears, not that Fred is still ready to go and kill Adrian, not that George and Angelina are listening in from behind the door, not that it could have all happened so long ago.

No.

All that matters is her and him. The feeling of him pulling her closer and the way her fingers tangle in her hair. The way they're smiling into the kiss. The way everything fits perfectly. It's her and it's all they ever needed.

She pulls away breathless, giggling when Fred's lips chase after her's subconsciously, willing to be close to her again.

"It could definitely be love," She whispers, her eyes fluttering open to see Fred beaming up at her.

"You think?"

"Yeah. Yeah I do," she grins.

"I'm going to go and kill Adrian now," Fred announces

"There's plenty of time for that," She argues, gripping herself to him tighter as he laughs at her clinging to him

"Something you'd rather be doing?" He teases

"I believe you mentioned something about being under you," She smirks, Fred's grin widening

"You're right. Adrian can wait,"

**

Masterlist 

[questinwitchface]

ok so from your WIP Game

Two Big, Blonde, Bearded Himbos Discover They're a Little Queer

fucking iconic title we love it

Peter/Oli - No Bad Decisions

PETER !!! AND OLI!! SDOJGAS

basically all of your writing projects sound so cool and so do all of your other art projects

like,,, nerd vest? bi pride skirt?? avenger dolls??? askSJOdjsjZIS

i would love to learn more abt the wips u talked abt if u have the energy to share that's all thx <3

Okay, you asked for a lot of them (thank you for being interested!), so I'm gonna try to keep the explanations short so this answer isn't a mile long lol.

Two Big, Blonde, Bearded Himbos Discover They're a Little Queer is a Steve/Thor fic. I don't have much of it written, but the premise is basically that Thor and Steve both think they're straight and discover that they are not. Steve realizes he's feeling some kind of way about Thor's sparkly eyes and freaks, so he goes to Sam and Bucky for help. Meanwhile, Thor figures out that he's not squeezing his gym bro Steve's biceps platonically, so he goes to Valkyrie and Loki for help ("Can you just... wake up one day and realize you're attracted to a man after thinking you were straight for a couple millennia?"). Their friends try to help them get together, and it's really just a bunch of awkward fails and confusion lol. They get together at the end tho. (Also thank you, I'm really super proud of this title 😊)

Peter/Oli - No Bad Decisions is a spin-off of Pride Brought Us to Bad Decisions that takes place during Peter's sophomore year at MIT, when Oli ends up moving in with him, Ned, and MJ. Cue the cute Oli/Peter romance. Idk if I'll ever actually write this one bc I always feel kinda weird about making OCs a main part of a fic, but idk. I really love Oli, and I liked writing Peter like this, so whether it's popular or not, I'll probably end up writing it eventually. I love them. 😅

Nerd Vest is a white denim, cropped vest I bought about a year ago on clearance at my favorite store, and I've been slowly and surely doing nerd shit to it. I'm currently working on some Avengers-themed embroidery along the hem, which is slow-going because I have embroider and denim is thick. I have plans to acquire patches to sew on and pins to pin on it, and if I get really brave, I'll pick up some fabric medium and maybe attempt painting on some designs, but idk about my paint skills, lol.... Nerd Vest!

Bi Pride Skirt is my attempt at crocheting myself a skirt. It's basically like 15 purple panels I plan on joining together with pink and blue, and doing a pink waistband with a blue scalloped hem at the bottom. Idk if that makes any sense for people who don't crochet, but, as usual, I'm making it up as I go along, so idk how to explain it better yet. I only have the purple panels made right now.

Avenger Dolls are little crochet dolls (I think they're technically called amigurumi or something like that?). I found a pattern book and kit thing at Barnes and Noble 2+ years ago, and it only includes like 8 character patterns, but I'm pretty sure the patterns are adaptable for other characters if I dedicate enough brain power to it. So once I've finished the first one (I misunderstood the pattern on the first attempt and the result was 🥴 not great, poor drunk-looking Steve), I'll figure out how to make myself a little set of my favorite little characters.

I'm sorry that was so long. Hopefully each thing was interesting enough. I know you said you're interested in all of it, but explaining all my WIPs in one post felt really gratuitous lol. Thank you for asking and being interested! 😊

[caxsthetic]

Better Knock

Type: Advertisement (Headcanons)

Cast: Miya Osamu

Storyline: Osamu has to come to your house for some school project. You, one of the most popular girls in Inarizaki. People said you would end up with Miya Atsumu. But why he heard you moaning his name instead?

Genre: Adult

— MIYA OSAMU —

You and the twins have been best friend since the first year of high school. You are smart, kind, could tame the ruckus between them, and everyone basically wants to get inside your heart and pants.

Though when everyone saw you are close with the Miya twins, they knew they wouldn't stand a chance. It's the Miya brothers that they were talking about after all!

From the outside, the dynamic between you and Atsumu is crazily compatible that everyone thought you were together with him. And somewhere along the line, people even bet that you already lose your virginity to one of the twins though you would never complain. But most people said it was with the setter.

Then there he is right now. Miya Osamu, sneaking towards your house way early before he was supposed to be here, wanting to surprise you.

The twins had the key to your house since they met your parents on your second year. Your parents somehow approve your friendship a little bit too far, saying things like,

"We are okay if some of them end up to be your husband, darling!" Flash news, pa and ma, you are okay with that too.

Osamu turned the key quietly, he receives a message from your mom before, telling him that you would be alone and asked him to take care of you.

Your mom has a soft spot for Osamu though. Yes, the superior twins. And she's not really that subtle.

The house was quiet, and he smiles knowing that you either still sleeping or maybe sitting in front of your laptop, watching some of your favourites anime shows.

He's not going to lie, the only thing in his mind when he received the message was all about cooking together with your crush! And the two of you could even play around in the kitchen, making a mess together.

But when his foot finally reaches your room, he was dead quiet when his ears filled with something that he didn't expect to hear. Your moan.

A lot of scenario running through his mind, but one stood out the most as you still letting out some whimper here and there. Just behind the wooden door, you are masturbating, and he could visualize it in an instant.

There's a little vibrating sounds coming from your room. And as a man, his mind clicked immediately, knowing that you are there, possibly laying on your bed, pleasuring yourself with a freaking vibrator.

From where he stood right now, he could hear all of the lewd voices that your lips produce. He was too starstruck to move, debating what he should do next.

He was supposed to be the decent twins, knock so you could clean up immediately, and he would act like he didn't hear a thing. But hearing you become a whimpering mess like this made all the blood on his body went straight to his cock.

Swallowing his saliva, he pulled his pants a little lower just so his length could be freed, hissing when he realised that he was hard already.

Letting out a sigh, he spit on his hand and start to pump himself, imagining that it was your hand instead of his. He almost let out a groan, but he holds himself back, afraid that you will hear him.

He starts with a slow pace, closing his eyes while he imagines the position you are in right now. You, sprawled out in your bed, hoping that someone could help you with your needs.

His face flushed, chanting your name inside his mind as he rubbed his tip with his thumb occasionally to trigger himself. Hoping that you could help him with his needs.

Biting his lips, he rests his forehead on the wooden door of your bedroom. His pump matching with your moan, feeling like he was there with you. Moving his hand faster as your moan becomes louder.

Precum started to leak from his tip and dripping down on his hardened length, making it so much easier to pump. The squelching sound make his mind hazy as he imagines his cock seethed deep inside of you.

The vibrating sound was now becoming louder. You just increase your vibrator power, and your lewd moan made his breath becomes so much heavier than before, knowing he is almost at the limit already.

"S-Samu!"

But he cums right here and then anyway when his name spilt from your lips so easily.

He covers his mouth with one of his hand, eyes looking at the white semen on the door. His ears perked up, couldn't believe by what he just heard.

"Please, Samu, just like that! You are so good to me!"

For years, he had been jerking off at the thought of you. Wishing that you wrapped your mouth around his cock, bobbing your mouth up and down as he tangled his hand on your hair.

You always become the main reason he suddenly excuse himself from PE Class, you always become the main reason why he need to go to the restroom before a match.

He always wanted you to get him off, either with your mouth, hands, or maybe even with your tight cunt. But he would take anything that you would offer because it was you.

Your moan becoming louder, like you are desperate to cum already. He didn't even realised how his cock started to get hard all over again by just hearing you moaning out his name.

The way you become a whimpering mess while imagining him to pleasure you make himself dizzy. He couldn't hold back, cock twitching from the image of you getting off to him.

"Yes, Samu! Want you to fill me up so bad!"

He was supposed to be the decent twins, but here he is anyway, losing his control; twisting your doorknob that you didn't even bother to lock,

"I can help you with that."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶    *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Headcanons Tagged Lovelies:

@muffins-puffins @blacckdiamondposts @gulfwanq @dear-green-tea @evermorehaikyuu @oli-imagines @miyuswriting @chunkchowder @baby-boy-taichi

Tell me if you want to be tagged for any of my upcoming works or removed! Have a nice day!

[kinope]

Rating Shows From My Childhood:

Cause I’m bored and just randomly felt like it, these are like from when I was a little kid:

Sesame Street: ⭐⭐⭐

It wasn’t a bad show, I really didn’t mind it. It just wasn’t my go to show though and my mom put it on ALL the time...plus my dad randomly sang stuff from it all the time and everything so it was really annoying.

Barney: ⭐⭐

I didn’t like Barney. It freaked me out, but I could never figure out why. That being said it annoyed the hell out of all my younger siblings. So it gets two stars for that, considering that was entertaining in itself.

The Wiggles: ⭐

Another show that freaked me out, but I couldn’t explain why it did. My parents once again put it on ALL the time and constantly sang the songs and stuff. Now we joke about stuff from it though, so meh

Thomas the Tank Engine: ⭐

I’m seeing a trend, cause this one freaked me out too. Thankfully I didn’t have to watch this show too much. Once again we joke about this show now.

Noddy: - ⭐⭐

I literally cried watching this show it scared me so much. To the point that my mom never made me watch it again. 

The Big Comfy Couch: ⭐⭐

Once again I’d cry because it scared me. That being said Molly is a whole mood. Like same Molly, but anything else was a no.

Arthur: ⭐⭐⭐

My mom was iffy about us watching it for the very reason we wanted to watch it. The attitude that some of the characters had. Anyone who grew up watching this knows exactly what I’m talking about. The memes. 

Caillou: 0

Another show that made me cry when it would come on. Though I ended up watching it more with my younger siblings than when I was little.

Dragon Tales: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

My mom did not like us watching this show, but me and my sister loved it! We knew we were only allowed to watch so many episodes of it a day, but we’d try to find ways around that. Lucky charms + Dragon Tales in the morning told you it was gonna be a good day.

Zoboomafoo: ⭐⭐⭐

Entertaining enough, and a fun show. Plus I usually liked the animals so that was always nice. It freaked my sister out though, which was entertaining for me, but meant we didn’t watch it much.

Clifford the Big Red Dog: ⭐⭐

It was alright, not my favorite though. Probably because I watched it more when I was above the target age with my siblings, but who knows.

The Magic School Bus: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

We weren’t allowed to watch this until my mom actually saw an episode one time and realized it was entirely different than she thought. After that though we could watch as much as we want. The best though was when this counted as school.

LazyTown: ⭐⭐⭐

My mom thought this show would motivate us...it didn’t we just sat around and watched more tv. Plus the memes that came from this show...not to say we quote it for jokes, but like...

The Berenstain Bears: ⭐⭐⭐?

This show kinda feels like a fever dream to me...like I remember watching it but I also can like not remember the show at all. I know we watched it when it came on though.

Max and Ruby: ⭐

Not for me. It kept my siblings entertained though.

Cyberchase: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This was the it show! This was the show that when mom was like “put on something educational for once” that you looked for. If you couldn’t find the show that you counted on the game to be there for you. 

Maya and Miguel: ???

I only remember the parrot for some reason.

Bob the Builder: ⭐?

We knew every line to every episode but I have no idea why or how, cause none of us liked this show.

Franklin: ⭐⭐⭐

I remember I’d watch Franklin all the time, but I can’t remember like any of it now.

Little Bear: ⭐⭐⭐

Like Franklin I know I watched it all the time, but can’t really remember the show.

The Backyardigans: ⭐⭐⭐

More of what my siblings watched, but it wasn’t bad actually.

Maggie and the Ferocious Beast: ⭐⭐⭐

I would like dance in front of the tv watching this, but I can only remember the part where he lost his spots.

Rolie Polie Olie: ??

I thought my brain had made this stuff up...

The Koala Brothers: -⭐⭐

I was already in school when this came out...but the year I started homeschooling my brother was still at home....he watched this show like 24/7 and I was so done with life. I couldn’t focus on anything thanks to the koala brothers...

Wonder Pets: ⭐

I only like the phone ringing song.

Recess: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Recess was the show that made me believe that I could be anything I wanted to be and that age was not a factor in that. This show is part of what made me a dreamer.

Oswald: ??

Once again I thought my brain had made this stuff up...I liked the hotdog dog though...

Code Lyoko: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

My mom did not like us watching this lol we’d have to sneak in episodes between homework and her coming back inside from working in the yard. We watched this like every year for maybe 8 years...we loved this show.

[theelliottsmiths]

If the Ramm guys had to stay in a supposedly haunted house who'd be the first to wuss out and who'd spend the whole night there?

I actually don't know that anyone would just up and leave? Apart from anything else it's just not how it tends to work with a group of guys: You don't pussy out and you don't leave them to deal with danger/"danger" alone. Well, not unless it is Extremely Funny.

Richard seems like he'd be a total wuss BUT he lived in a house he believed was haunted and said he got on pretty well with his ghost, often talking to it in his head (apparently talking to a ghost aloud is weirder than assuming it can hear your thoughts?)*. Richard isn't just staying over, he's befriending it.

Flake just goes with the flow so much that I truly believe if there were ghostly happenings he would just go back to sleep. Maybe make some notes in case he fancies writing about it later. He says something about the blood oozing from the walls being a pain to walk past because it's a narrow hallway and he got some on the cuff of his jacket.

Oli seems more like haunter than hauntee. They took him on their first night and the ghost retreated into the attic when Oliver stepped through the front door, which is lucky because Oli would have freaked the fuck out at the idea of being watched by some invisible presence. They say that the ghostly things stopped when he came inside and ask him to spend the night outside, which he was hoping he could get away with doing anyway

Paul is bravado in the shape of a man. He's scared and wants to leave but refuses to admit it so instead he spends his time poking fun at how scared everyone else is as a distraction. They know. They let him.

Till is tricky because half of me wants to say he's very matter of fact about it, just accepts that it's their situation for the time being and explains that the creaking is the house settling etc like the guy from that ghost programme who is like So anyway it's not a ghost this hinge was just installed wrong. The other half thinks he'd be like a little kid, curled up and just trying his best to get through it without crying, not sleeping a wink because he has bad enough nightmares as it is and if something happens he wants to see it coming. If the two can coexist in anyone it's Till.

Schneider doesn't notice. He could be fully possessed by a spirit and neither he nor the other guys would notice a thing.

I think you'd have to split them all up, actually, to get any of them truly freaked out about it. In a group they're too powerful, they have too much back up. Those six guys in a group could take in almost anything (which is how they've managed to do everything they've done, it's that stupid bravery that boys develop in a group of like-minded boys that makes "just ask David lynch and see" a thing you're willing to say).

I was looking for a Haunted Picture and is it just me or do Paul and Schneider in this gif look like a medium and their publicist? Schneider accidentally communes with the ghosts.

* just to clarify, Yes that really is a thing he said

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes 3

Book 3

Narrated by Tobias. Getting all of the white kids out of the first I guess

Tobias forgets the color of his eyes after a few weeks as a bird. But he remembers that he had blond hair and was kinda big.

Tobi has also oly been looking at his bird face head on cause otherwise he’d notice how doofy his face looks

Dan’s not holding that hawk prisoner he’s just got shitty animal husbandry. If that 3 ft by 3 ft cage is the only cage he keeps her in. That could just be a travel cage dude uses for the filming for all the info I have and Tobi has already demonstrated that he over anthropomorphises animals

Also Tobi is gonna get that captive bird fucking killed with this Peta shit.

And he does something very unbirdlike infront of multiple people any of whom could be a controller.

And he nearly gets killed doing this.

Tobias is a dumbass that doesnt consider the consequences of shit.

Tobi she’s a fucking bird and there’s a fucking elephant destroying shit and humans causing a ruckus. She’s startled and startled birds fucking fly u numpty!

Rachel chews Tobias out for being a complete idiot and starting that stunt while on fucking air

Ya know what, Tobi’s descriptions of Rachel are starting to make me uncomfortable. And that plus his insistence of talking to Rachel on her solo mission every 5 secs probably means he has some creepy crush on her

Tobi don’t start on that shit you chose to be in morph far more than was safe, was warned multiple times of the time limit and got yerself stuck. Its not a curse if yer fucking responsible.

Applegate skips on the whole redtails also hunt smaller birds and that’s… weird

Tobi assumes that a human smiling when they see a bird means their jealous. Not that like, the person just fucking likes birds and nature and shit and is either going to or going home from a job where they spent hours in a bland cubicle looking at just a computer so hey a cool bird, they must be jelly that they cant fly.

I don’t like Tobias.

Why do the yeerk ships have clocking that hides them in ultraviolet as well when humans can’t see into that range? Wouldn’t it make sense just to cloak along the visible spectrum and save power and also cleaning bills from hitting so many birds and bugs?

Marco is valid.

Also betting that that released hawk is gonna be ded in the next few days.

Also why did Jake not get any info from Cassie on potentially what to feed Tobias? Why isn’t Tobias just fucking living at Cassie’s barn? She could claim that he’s some tame hawk that someone gave to her b/c they couldn’t afford to take care of him any more

Tobias why didn’t you bring up the thing in the sky to the whole group?

Is this brooding angst?

Also if Tobias has been eating random leftovers from Jake for weeks he should be sick as fuck.

Why didn’t anyone call Child Protective Services for Tobias’ case too?

Dead geese

Wolves were recently released in the nearby national parkl/woods

There are mountains nearby, and a coast near by, an abandoned church, a mall next to a construction site

Has Marco been in the mountains before?

Marco, yall only tried to rescue Tom once. That’s not everything you could do. Yall could just fucking kidnap him and fake his death and also tell Jake’s parents so they don’t do anything… rash

Tobias is kinda taking charge of this mission

Tobias doesnt like Marco

Its 20 miles from Cassie’s barn to the mountains

Cassie apparently dosent consider that female wolves might also fight for dominance

None of these kids practiced this morph beforehand even tho they know morphing something for the first time usually leads to some loss of control

Cassie can morph horse. There’s horses plural at her barn. They could have all become horses in the woods to travel the 20 miles then turned into more normal forest animals to blend in once they got there.

Every Time they morph my comparative anatomy classes start fucking screaming in anguish. The knees reversing is not nearly as bad as fingers shriveling and disappearing b/c somebody doesnt know fucking digitigrade limb anatomy

Morphing took Cassie 2 mins

Tobais is a hawkaboo

Alpha. Ick

Jake can’t control his morph and is triggering wolf shit in the others

They really should just fucking demorph and remorph.

Tobias gets frustrated and flies off to clear his head

Too fucking bad we dont get a first person view of turning into a wolf b/c Tobias got himself stuck as his fursona and had to narrate this book

Fake park rangers

No, I’m not going to believe that hork-bajir have T. rex feet b/c these kids know jack and shit about every kinda animal. Also zygodactyl feet make more sense for a tree climber, and would look lovely while kangaroo hopping

Tobias only notes blades on their heads, wrists, elbows and knees.

Tobi mistakes a random group of 5 wolves for his friends

These dumbasses dont demorph and remorph b/c they want to be wolves for the rest of their life

Taxxons are consistently described as fat centipedes

Tobias finds out his hawk body is horny for a lady bird

More misinformation on how wolf packs work

Idiots don’t display submissive behavior and back away to avoid a conflict. Or just flat out fucking run away.

SO the gang are able to demorph at least 7 mins past the two hours time limit. Cassie was in morph the longest yet is the first to finish and then helps the other morph with her coaching skills. Interesting.

SO how long can they really stay in morph? It takes Cassie 2mins to morph, they were at least 7 mins past the window. Cassie spent 69 mins in morph more or less, could she go longer?

Did lying to them about how much time they had left help? How much of morphing is psychological?

Owls can and would eat hawks. Tobias should be concerned about that.

Marco comes up with the idea to drive the alien tanker uncloaked over the city to alert the citizens

Jakes plan is to enter the ship through the pipes as fish. Why would there be a way to get into the rest of the ship from the water tank?

Rachel’s gymnastics group is doing a show in the mall

It bothers me that the kids and books don’t call Iness 226 by their name. B/c conflating the yeerk with their host is… not a good mentality to have

...birds can walk. Does Tobias think the only way birds can move is by flying? He can fucking run, it’d be a cute little flapping waddle but he can fucking run

Tobias loses control kills a rat, has a freak out and tries to commit suicide in front of Rachel. Is thwarted by Marco

Tobias goes feral to avoid his emotions

Tobias goes to see if the female hawk is still alive/maybe a booty call

Ya know I wanna know whats going on with the other animorphs while Tobias is having this crisis

It took Tobias a surprisingly long time to get past his shit and give a damn that a person was about to be brutally murdered in front of him

… how does Tobi’s eye attack work on the hork-controllers? AT what angle is he going to avoid the foot long horns and still hit the eyes?

You can totally hug a damn bird Applegate. People hug birds all the damn time.

Why don’t the two people with osprey morphs? Catch fish? Hell they could work together driving the fish into a net if they’d thought to bring a net.

These kids are so dumb. Marco? Cassie? Morph fucking ospery and see where the fish are!

Toboas gets distracted by the sexy lady hawk durring an important part of the mission

Andalite description: eyes on antler-like stalks, large main eyes, dainty hooves

Why is Visser 3 here now?

Plan gets 500% more dangerous and Jake and Rachel still push for it

Cassie sides with doing the plan over fucking waiting till security cools off and trying again when there’s less chance of death

The hork-controllers shoot a deer but not a bird going out over the lake multiple times

Hork-controller talking shit to a human-controller

Why is there a grate at the top of the water tank that leads in to the rest of the ship?

Tobias genuinely seems to think that there are voluntary hork-controllers given this and his comment in the first book’

Also I don’t like how Tobi keeps refering to non-human people as creatures. This shit probably happened in the other books but fuck it I’m noting it now

Heh. The kids can’t open the grate to escape and are plotting group suicide to avoid capture and infestation.

Its almost like trying to infiltrate a spaceship/tanker through the water take was a very very bad idea.

Tho is they had like mosquito morphs it might have worked

Taxxons can apparently climb like small bugs do.

Tobi steals a gun to kill the ship with

Tobi kills a ship with a gun

Random chance saves the animorphs again and Tobi is the only one to notice the humans falling out of the ship

…. Marco has an osprey morph not bald eagle.

Also! Bald eagles are fish eaters! Why didn’t Rachel morph to make fishing a little easier

Tobi sees the sexy lady hawk die

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

Even numbers :}

THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU CRAZY KIDDO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU’RE A BLESSING ON THIS WORLD!!!!!!

2: is your room messy or clean?

It’s kind of a mix?? Like I leave my clothes folded on top of the drawers rather than putting them away bc the drawers stick and it’s just easier access. The messiest thing about my room is that I’m a human magpie who likes collecting shiny/interesting things so I have a lot of stones and bits of metal or ceramic and some nuts and bolts lying around pffft. XD But mostly I keep things kinda tidy.

4: do you like your name? why?

I DO NOW!!!! :DDDDD

6: describe your personality in 3 words or less

uUUUuuHHHHHh well-meaning, stubborn, energetic! :D

8: what kind of car do you drive? color?

I currently drive my parents’ car. It’s dark grey… not gonna say what model. XD

10: how would you describe your style?

Like, clothes wise? Either very simple n plain or outrageously colourful n quirky. Depends on the day. XD

12: what size bed do you have?

Double.

14: if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

Oof honestly just back home (in Victoria.) A part of me also wants to try out a big city?? I’ve always lived in the country and tbh I kind of hate big cities because they seem to be filled with rude busy people but I wanna live there just to have something different and so I’ll know for sure and to say I did, y’know? (lmao a friend and I joke that we’re gonna move to NYC together one day, so she can keep my li’l naive country boi ass from getting chewed up and spat out by New Yorkers. I appreciate it. X’D )

16: favorite makeup brand(s)

No idea. I’ve only worn makeup twice, and those times were when my Mum begged me for a solid year until I finally caved and let her do it… grumpily. X’D

18: favorite tv show?

S E N S E 8

20: how tall are you?

5′4. :)

22: do you go to the gym? 

Nope, not enough money. I used to work out a lot at home and I got p ripped but because of my eating disorder I had to stop. Still haven’t started up again yet. :(

24: how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

21 bucks. :D

26: how many pillows do you sleep with?

2. One under my head and one to cuddle (shut up, I kNow. XD )

28: how many friends do you have?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  too lazy to count, however many people I interact with online. I don’t have any irl friends… god that sounds pathetic. XD

30: whats your favorite candle scent?

Absolutely no idea, we never have any. That’s actually something I wanna change when I get my own place. I like candles. They calm me.

32: 3 favorite girl names

God I am so shitty with names. My characters either name themselves or they don’t get names. X’D UUUUUUUUHHHHH, Amber, Ida, Carmen??? idk???

34: favorite actress?

Emma Thompson is an actual fucking legend and I would go to battle for her.

36: favorite movie?

How to Train Your Dragon or Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse! :D (If it has to be live action: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. :P )

38: money or brains? 

Heart.

40: how many times have you been to the hospital?

For myself, personally? Lots when I was a baby bc I had chronic ear infections and would literally just scream 24/7 and never sleep, I was in so much pain (poor tiny Matt. :(((( ) Once because I had a really bad migraine around age 13 that literally would not go away and had me throwing up every other minute and in such bad pain I wanted to literally die. And once recently when I felt super sick for months and months and finally went only to find there was nothing wrong with me?? turned out it was my gluten intolerance but dear god I had never felt that sick.

42: do you take any medications daily?

Just my asthma preventer (and I forget to take that a lot and end up not being able to breathe as well as I should, bc I’m the World’s Biggest Dumbass :)) XD )

44: what is your biggest fear? 

Physically: Not being able to breathe. Emotionally: The people I love ending up hating me just because I’m me. There’s a lot of irony to unpack there but I’m just gonna set the whole suitcase on fire. :)

46: whats your go to hair style?

Shaving the whole damn thing off.

48: who is your role model? 

I don’t really have one?? I guess my parents?? But I don’t really wanna be exactly like them either? I think it’s unwise to put anyone on a pedestal bc nobody’s perfect.

50: what was the last text you sent?

Screaming to a friend about how cute her OC is. XD

52: what is your dream car?

Literally could not care less so long as it gets me where I’m going and it’s neon yellow. X’D

54: do you go to college? 

Nope, dropped out of highschool early lmao.

56: would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? 

Rural I guess?? But that’s only because I’ve always lived rural and don’t know any different. it’s quiet, I like quiet.

58: do you have freckles? 

Yep! I don’t have them in big patches tho? I just have like, some random single ones scattered all over my body?? XD

60: how many pictures do you have on your phone? 

Don’t have a phone and dear GOD I don’t even wanna know how many pictures I have on my laptop. Answer: too many. XD

62: do you still watch cartoons? 

OF COURSE!! :D

64: Favorite dipping sauce? 

idk I don’t really dip things in sauce? Maybe just tomato sauce?

66: have you ever won a spelling bee?

Yes, actually!! Woooo go bb Matt!! :D

68: can you draw? 

Stick figures? Yes. XD

70:what was the last concert you saw?

Never been to one.

72: Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Only ever been to Starbucks so I can’t really compare. 

74: what is your crush’s first and last initial?

76: what color looks best on you? 

I think blue does. 💙

78: do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Open. Sleeping with it closed freaks me out, idk why. 😅

80: what is your biggest pet peeve? 

Being condescended to. :///

82: favorite ice cream flavor? 

Mint choc chip! Or rainbow! XD

84: chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? 

GIMME THE GAY SPRINKLES EVERY TIME.

86: what is your phone background?

Laptop background is currently THIS incredibly amazing beautiful accurate drawing Oli did of my OC Ben!!! :’D

88: do you like it when people play with your hair?

Y E S. I used to hate it when it was rlly long but now it’s heaven. ^-^ Unless I’m in one of my ‘being touched makes my skin crawl’ kind of moods.

90: do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Just whenever I have my shower, occasionally during the day if I’m sweaty or whatever. Sometimes if my insomnia kicked me in the ass I splash my face n neck with cold water to wake up in the morning.

92: have you ever been drunk? 

Nope, and I really don’t want to be. The idea of being out of control of myself, even just a little bit, is terrifying to me. No thanks. I also just generally do not like alcohol, idk why. 

94: favorite lyrics right now

My all-time favourite lyrics come from Twenty One Pilots’ song ‘The Judge’ (even though I don’t actually like the song itself I love the lyrics):“When the leader of the bad guys sangSomething soft and soaked in painI heard the echo from his secret hideawayHe must’ve forgot to close his doorAs he cranked out those dismal chordsAnd his four walls declared him insane”

96: day or night? 

*chanting* NIGHT NIGHT NIGHT NIGHT NIGHT N

98: favorite month? 

Ironically, considering my character March is a giant dickwad, it’s March. XD The weather is just starting to turn cool after the grueling summer and it’s also my birth month! :D

100: who was the last person you cried in front of?

My Dad. Yikes.

AHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKIN, ALEX!!!

[matan4il]

I’m just going to reblog this right away, sorry for the mess on people’s dashes, but I immediately got two excellent follow up asks + a comment, and I just had to share them as well:

I also feel like Buck wouldn’t cheat on Taylor in front of all his closest friends, you know? He’s dumb, but he’s not THAT dumb. So either he and Taylor are broken up already or Lucy initiates the kiss or it’s not really happening irl and it’s part of Eddie’s nightmare. Anyway I am feeling the Anxiety and idk if I can wait another *checks watch* 2 hrs 39 mins. Please just put me out of my misery 💀

Absolutely right! It’s also really shortly after Buck runs into Lucy, and even if he were to cheat due to being in a bad place mentally, I think the show would try to build up to it? Make us wonder, will he or won’t he? So this is all happening way too fast and might be some curve-ball the show is throwing at us…

Also! Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe it’s only roughly 1.5 hours to go, due to daylight savings time changes?

I’m not judging any freak outs because I get it. But we dont even have confirmation Buck and Taylor are together when said kiss happens. Remember there is a time jump. We have no idea when the kiss happens ext. I just hating sounding like Taylor Swift here, but we need to calm down. Honestly I find it weird that they would spoil a kiss when JLH is still like dont know if Madney will work. Like they dont spoil the big bangs. But I get it, I validate feelings. But lets get through the first few episodes and get the feel of it all.

I’m with you! I never judge any freakouts, plus… I used to freak out in previous fandoms, too. It took me a LONG time to get to where I’m at (and a lot of needless pain), so I also know why people freak out, as well as why it’s hard not to even when you know logically there could be other explanations. And you’re right, we don’t know where B/T is at when we come back from hiatus with the time jump, though based on Oli’s past comments, I do assume they’re still together. But it’s an excellent point that there is A LOT that we don’t know right now, even in terms of the setting. And you’re also absolutely right on them not usually spoiling their big, meaningful moments ahead of time!

It honestly looks like she kisses him and he just… stands there.

@thetalee It def looks like she initiates the kiss! IDK if he reciprocates it or not, but yeah, that’s another good point about all the things that we don’t yet know about the context and how this will play out or what it will mean!

have you seen the vid with Buck kissing lucy cheating on TayKay? Im really upset!

Hi Nonnie! First of all, sending you a hug!

I have seen the footage, it's... soundless and edited, so I have zero context, and that's the first thing that sprang to mind when I watched it. Without context, we don't know what's going on, so we don't know the meaning of what we're seeing. The context could really change how we understand the scene, and subsequently, how we feel about it. Maybe this is a social dare game of some sort? The team seems to be there, so that would be a very odd context to cheat if the show does decide to make Buck go there, making me wonder what else is going on.

Another thought is if Buck will cheat, that would be really out of character for him, we’ve never seen him be anything but sensitive and loyal when it comes to the people that he loves. We’ve seen him sleeping around, but we’ve never been shown him being hurtful with any of his partners, sexual or romantic. He was even able to empathize with how Ana was feeling, even though she’s someone who was only in his life peripherally. A man with that much empathy for how the unloved partner in a r/s feels is not very likely to jump headlong into cheating. So much like what I've said about Bobby, Eddie or Chim acting aggressively at different points when it's so out of character for them, if the show does make Buck cheat when that's not who he is as a person, that could be an indication that he's at his lowest point, what with being miserable in the B/T relationship and with Maddie, Chim AND Eddie all fully or partly gone.

My main advice (and not just with what’s happening now) is to not get upset over promo photos, videos and leaks, ‘coz we really can't know what any of it means, nor how we'd feel about it once the full eps air. Please take care of yourself! As much as I love these fictional characters, our well-being matters more. Hope 511 will make us all feel better! xoxox

And if you or anyone else are looking for other replies of mine, you can find them in my ask tag. xoxox

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 07/11/2020 (Ariana Grande, Bring Me the Horizon)

You know, it’s odd how that despite two pretty massive albums dropping, both having an impact on the chart, we actually have less debuts than the scattered mess of singles from last week, thanks to silly UK Singles Chart rules. Regardless, this week’s #1 is still “positions” by Ariana Grande and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The biggest drop off the chart this week is undoubtedly the #1 hit “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi, exiting the UK Top 75 after a run lasting 50 weeks. Nothing really compares to the weight of that drop-out but I guess we do have “GREECE” by DJ Khaled featuring Drake, “Heather” by Conan Grey. “Bando Diaries” by Dutchavelli, “Heart of Glass” by Miley Cyrus, “forget me too” by Machine Gun Kelly featuring Halsey and “Hold” by Chunkz and Young Filly, only lasting a measly two weeks but still peaking high. There is actually a theme to our returning entries as all of these are spooky scary Halloween-themed tracks. The classic “Thriller” by the ever-controversial King of Pop Michael Jackson is back at #57, “Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker, Jr. Is back at #54 – this is my personal favourite of the bunch, mostly thanks to Neil Cicierega – and even “Monster Mash” by Bobby Boris Pickett is back at #50. Oh, and “5AM” by M Huncho and Nafe Smallz is back at #66 but that’s just scarily bad. The biggest fall this week was for “Cool with Me” by Dutchavelli and M1llionz down to #64 whilst the biggest gain was unfortunately for “Whoopty” by CJ at #48. Honestly, what’s the appeal here? Sigh, at least we have some really interesting hijinks this week, pretty fitting for a week that saw the messiest US election in history, and I won’t write this in order so you won’t see what I’m leading up to until a while after you read this part but there is some incredible stuff here. You know what’s not incredible?

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “Too Many Nights” – 220 KID and JC Stewart

Produced by 220 KID, Joe Janiak and Mark Ralph

I started off this episode by writing about the Bring Me the Horizon songs first. Not only is the album good and I had recently listened to it, but I had a lot more to say about the tracks, obviously since it’s not something you see on the charts every day and there’s a lot more to discuss in these tracks. Hence, after writing nearly 2,000 words on the metalcore boys alone, I have a question: do I really need to cover this emotionless tropical house-pop crap manufactured by labels and DJs who rarely find any interesting instrumentation, songwriting ideas or even samples to cover up their complete lack of innovation and at times even talent, for a quick buck and stupid amounts of unwarranted chart success? I don’t want to say I’m angry and I don’t want to seem pretentious but music is art. Art is, as a result of the society that produces it, a product, but even #1 hits and major-label records are still pieces of art. They can be analysed, appreciated and listened to with a lot of thought and detail. I cannot see that in “Too Many Nights” by 220 KID and JC Stewart. To me, this is purely a product. I’m taking this way too seriously but this really exemplifies what people hate about pop music in three minutes and eight seconds of cheap plastic dance music. Next.

#67 – “Ginger” – Wizkid featuring Burna Boy

Produced by P2J

Wizkid and Burna Boy are both highly acclaimed Nigerian singers and given everything that’s happening here recently, it’s no surprise Wizkid released an album that I would think touches on these issues, Made in Lagos, which is a name I can infer means he will explore Nigerian identity and what it means to be from Lagos and make it big in music. Wizkid is one of the big stars and pioneers of modern African pop music and whilst I should be interested in the album, I haven’t had the time to give it a spin yet so I’ll take this first impression from the track with Burna Boy. This is a pretty sweet tropical tune with an infectious hook referencing the traditional West African dish of jollof rice, and whilst the language barrier does prevent me from fully understanding the song, I can gather that this is a mix of a hook-up jam and typical rap stuff, with him flexing how he lives nice and if people want smoke, he’s got smoke, and a lot about this woman gyrating on him. Seriously, that’s the whole first verse, which only arrives after a really awkward pause. The second verse is kind of awkward here and Wizkid’s voice and flow have never done much for me, especially here where both he and Burna Boy sound checked-out. Burna Boy’s contributions are pretty much relegated to half of the chorus and an outro that quickly fades away and soon enough, this really slow, kind of uninteresting song has already finished. I’m not personally a fan of this but I am still interested in that album – I like the song with Skepta even if it does sound very much like “Ginger”, just with a stronger guest. Now onto the big story, or at least my big story, on the chart.

#55 – “1x1” – Bring Me the Horizon featuring Nova Twins

Produced by Jordan Smith and Oliver Sykes

I never read Kerrang! magazine, mostly because I’m not a loser [citation needed]. I understand that they originated in the 1980s as a metal-focused magazine but I wasn’t there for that. I was there for the Kerrang! TV era of pop-punk whining, scene-core screaming, nu-metal grunting, emo crooning and the Bloodhound Gang for some reason. Listening to this new Bring Me the Horizon album, titled Post Human: Survival Horror, took me back to that place. That feeling of classic Metallica followed by less classic Foo Fighters followed by the absolutely not classic Medina Lake (some of their stuff still slaps, however derivative) – oh, yeah, and like 10 minutes of adverts after six minutes of music. That feeling of All Time Low and You Me at Six playing back to back and being completely incapable of telling the difference between the two. “If we ain’t got that then we ain’t got much and we ain’t got nothing.” They were simpler times. I may be mashing up eras here but it still stands. Hell, the BABYMETAL tracks even took me back to the “Flashing Lights” disclaimers of all things. Rest in peace to Scuzz by the way, and, yes, I said BABYMETAL, we’ll get to that in a bit. So, yeah, I really liked that throwback to turn-of-the-millennium mallcore, but it does keep itself fresh and interesting enough throughout, especially with Sykes’ unique delivery and topical albeit ham-fisted edgy lyrics. You can say a lot about Bring Me the Horizon but at this point at least they definitely have pretty defining characteristics and a lot of likeability even if they do like to stick to a formula at times that makes it pretty obvious where their influences lie. That said, I do think the album becomes a slog by track seven, and it’s a lot duller than it probably should be for the final stretch. Unfortunately, this is track seven. I’m not familiar with the Nova Twins but they’re a punk-rap duo from London and honestly I am interested in checking out that debut album but I’m not really impressed by them or the metalcore boys – which is somehow a better band name than “Bring Me the Horizon” – on this track. Again, there is a formula to the metalcore boys’ banger tracks, and here it feels particularly stale and awkward, thanks to the loudness war that’s present in the album as a whole (Linkin Park’s influence shows up everywhere, even in the production) and the awkward trap elements shoved into the percussion of the first and second verses. I think Amy Love of Nova Twins obviously flows better on it than Oli Sykes who should have handed everything that’s not the chorus – one of the most cookie-cutter on the record – to the Twins, because he sounds pretty off here. There’s a lot less “epic edgy” lyrical content (I’m not sure if that’s a compliment) but that leads to kind of vague and disjointed ideas that don’t all line up to the core theme of the song, which is human guilt for the sins of man or some crap like that. Boys, when you interpolate four of your own songs AND Linkin Park, you’ve got to realise you’re re-treading some ground here. Not even the typical Bring Me the Horizon drop into the metal breakdown from an electronic bridge really feels like it’s worth it or climactic here, which is a shame but who needs the Nova Twins when the metalcore boys have a collaboration with another unique all-female rock duo...?

#51 – “Kingslayer” – Bring Me the Horizon featuring BABYMETAL

Produced by Jordan Fish and Oliver Sykes

When I saw BABYMETAL on this tracklist, I was amused and kind of laughed it off. These guys do have some pretty bizarre collaborations – they have songs with Halsey and Grimes – but BABYMETAL? I remember them when they were half-awesome Japanese pop-metal band and half-complete and utter meme in the early 2010s, and I knew that they had continued being so, mostly because the last time I heard from them they were playable in Super Mario Maker. Seriously, look it up. Now when I saw BABYMETAL on the charts, nearing the top 50 no less, I was ecstatic and honestly shocked. Needless to say this is their first appearance on the chart and whilst metal bands in the 2000s like Slipknot and System of a Down had genuine hits, outside of, fittingly, Bring Me the Horizon, it’s unheard of, especially for a Japanese girl group who happen to have freaking shredders playing on stage behind them. I haven’t listened to a BABYMETAL album but I feel like I don’t need to because of how much they’ve made an impression through singles, videos and live performances. Judas Priest’s Rob Halford called BABYMETAL “the future of metal” and whilst I’m not into the metal scene, I’m half-inclined to both agree and add Bring Me the Horizon to that conversation. I’m just amazed there is a cyber-kawaii metal song on the charts. I’m honestly astonished. Oh, and it helps that the song is incredible. On the album there’s a short interlude that functions as an introduction but honestly the short, aggressive synth riff followed by an immediate crash into the metal groove and Sykes yelling his lungs out works better on its own to just shove you face-first into some insane music. I love how that opening yell is chopped up and digitally re-arranged in the background of the chaotic instrumentation. The cutesy and bleep-bloopy synths that are not new to Bring Me the Horizon’s repertoire are used to their full potential here and yes, it is complete sensory overload, but it’s also kawaii-cyber metal. I mean, what did you expect? It also thematically makes sense. The song is about Call of Duty but it’s also an ode to the people willing to stand up for what they believe in even if it’s illegal and even if it doesn’t abide by rules and regulations. The album is full of these songs that fully support a revolutionary attitude and a clear frustration with keeping up with the old guard for all these years. You can hear how fed up and sick and tired of the political hellscape Sykes is in his shifts between pitch-shifted whining not dissimilar to Blink-182 and gravelly yelling straight out of extreme metal, except unlike most extreme metal I’ve heard, this is actually mixed properly. This track and especially the opener, “Dear Diary”, have so much anarchic energy and that is what I love about the hardcore punk edge to a lot of the album, not necessarily as much sonically as that in content and lyrical themes, where Sykes presents his inner mental struggles and contextualises them on the world stage, making an album that tackles the pandemic, racism and corruption vaguely and with poetic wit without being shallow or impersonal. Most songs that relate to the social distancing will not use the depressive emotional bloodletting of “Teardrops”, the subtly ominous yet still anthemic choruses about lockdown in “Obey” (seriously, these guys can make even YUNGBLUD sound listenable) and even the slow, sour conflict with both Mother Nature and general isolation on the closing ballad that has a name way too long for me to recite, as much as I enjoy upping the word count on every episode. Sykes’ verse in “Kingslayer” discusses opposing points of political opposition and protest, on one hand wanting to express how sick people are of going through the capitalist machine only to be spat back out again but also asking him the condescending question of if he really wants to poke the governmental bear. On the pre-chorus, he voices those frustrations in profanity-laden motivation that is asking not just himself but the general public to wake up, not that they’re unaware of how unfair the system is but instead acting as a call to action. Su-Metal of BABYMETAL takes this ode in a different angle, seeing revolutionaries as idolised figures, so much so that the chorus works as a confession of love or just awe in how the “kingslayer” is destroying castles in the sky and will save “us” from the darkness and from the struggles that the corrupt elite forces onto the populace. In the verse Su-Metal juxtaposes the imagery in the hook of some kind of medieval warrior (“angel of the blade”) with the near-incomprehensible verse, which is half-sung in Japanese with a cry for help responded to in commanding English, which I see as a reaction from the authority that undermines these problems. They call the revolutionary “artificial” and “modified” in a condescending, mocking tone, as well as using so much digital jargon that the verse becomes practically meaningless, especially backed by the heavy, loud music that drowns some of the messaging about and very much intentionally. It also seems pretty intentional that this song sounds like a take on an anime opening, as all of this cyber-punk imagery and anti-authority lyrical content feels a lot sharper when coated in references and criticism of mass-media. Oh, and it also helps that the song rocks, Su-Metal’s melodies are beautifully placed against a frenetic, monotone bass note in her verse, and that final chorus is absolutely perfect. That rapid-fire addition to the chorus took me by surprise on first listen and just completes the song for me. The song ends with one last wake-up call from Sykes about the rabbit hole before his yell is manipulated, screwed and played with by the production, rendering his scream inhuman... and followed by the playful, childlike inflections of BABYMETAL. If we don’t at least try to change in this time, the generations after us will suffer from our mistakes and missed opportunities. Man, this song is a rollercoaster that starts with drum and bass rhythms and ends with Oli Sykes growling gratuitous profanities that get close to feeling like he’s insulting the listener – it’s really brutal – and I’m here for it all the way. There have been songs on REVIEWING THE CHARTS that I like and that I love and whilst I know this won’t stick around (it is still cyber-kawaii metal), this is undoubtedly the best song I think I’ve ever covered on this show and might as well just be one of the best songs I’ve heard this year and maybe ever. I adore this track, please, PLEASE check it out.

#46 – “Flooded” – M Huncho and Nafe Smallz

Produced by Sean Murdz

Okay, seriously for a second: who cares? There’s nothing interesting here. A synth-based soundscape with some cheap flute loops drowned out by trap percussion that doesn’t even drop in, it just awkwardly fades in – yes, even the 808s – and Auto-Tuned mumbling from a nasal-voiced child with an unbearable falsetto. What is the appeal? None of them sound interested, there are no bars of any interest or even a funny line, not even unintentionally. D-Block Europe make me laugh but this tragically awful duo make me bored to death. M Huncho has a cool mask he wears and I wish his gimmick was more than just that and you know, actually translated to the music, but he doesn’t sound intimidating or like a villain. He just sounds like some dude who decided to rap barely on the beat of badly-mixed type beat with bass mastering that should be pitied. He did have a fluke song that kind of slapped called “Pee Pee”, which just comes to show that the more ridiculous and stupid he gets, the more vaguely entertaining he is. So why is he this dull and lame?! The flow is either talking over a beat that refuses to stay still but never truly reaches any kind of climax or even build-up, or just trap-rap word association. “I flooded the chain, it’s like a lake, we runnin’ the game, you pressin’ the brakes.” There’s nothing here, absolutely nothing, and these two hacks cannot sell it. I’m just looking for some effort and even if something is effortless, at least have the charisma to make it sound like you give a damn because this is pretty inexcusable.

#35 – “Paradise” – MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy

Produced by MEDUZA

I’m tired and I feel like I’m almost at breaking point with these songs. What would usually be generic and uninteresting is sounding offensively bad to me right now and I’m not sure why. That doesn’t really matter all too much to me though as this show has never been an in-depth critical assessment... okay, well sometimes it becomes as such but these are usually just my first impressions of tracks that happen to debut that week on the UK Singles Chart and this can range from volatile frustration to immediate adoration to not giving a rat’s ass about a single one of the songs that debut, depending on how I feel that day. That said, this song is fine. I actually really like Kennedy’s delivery, even if his rougher edges are smoothened and cleaned up by the vocal production here, which is pretty reverb-drenched but does allow for Kennedy to actually release rather than editing the vocals to sound really tight and closed-in... except for that really weak, pathetic drop but I do like the lyrical content, fittingly about distanced relationships as England enters a second lockdown. There’s little to say here but it’s worth a listen.

#32 – “Four Notes – Paul’s Tune” – Paul Harvey, Daniel Whibley and BBC Philharmonic

Produced by ???

No production credits for this one for whatever reason. Anyway, I am tired to the point of just complete speechless confusion at why this charted, and especially so high, rather than having any intrigue in why, but I looked it up anyway. Paul Harvey is a man from Sussex with dementia who is able to improvise beautiful piano melodies with only four notes as a reference point, hence the name. This was recorded by his son Nick and posted onto Twitter, where it soon became viral. This composition was then arranged by Daniel Whibley and recorded by the BBC’s Philharmonic Orchestra to be released as a charity single with proceeds being split between the Alzheimer’s Society and Music for Dementia. This isn’t a song I can critique. The arrangement is really pretty and it was in the original video, with the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra only serving to make it sound grander and fitting for a single release. Dementia, Alzheimer’s and any kind of brain disorder are all really tragic and really depressing things to happen to anybody, especially to the people it tends to affect: the elderly. It’s sweet that this is a single and I like that it charted high so those organisations that can assist science in treating these disorders and give help to those with family members diagnosed with and suffering from brain disorders have more funding. The song sounds good, it’s mixed well and honestly it’s pretty gorgeous at times, and if this helps people, then it’s done its job, and I commend Harvey and his son, Daniel Whibley and the BBC for letting this happen. Now for something completely different.

#26 – “Deluded” – Tion Wayne featuring MIST

Produced by Steel Banglez and Chris Rich Beats

Steel Banglez, Tion Wayne and MIST? God, maybe we are returning to the new normal; this is a 2019 line-up. Tion Wayne is a character and a presence on the track always and MIST is quite the opposite, but that “So High” song with Fredo was pretty cool, I suppose. Tion Wayne has always been more of an entertaining presence than half this crop of drill rappers, even if his flow and bars suffer from it, but he’s always a lot more fun and he does have a couple punchlines that hit. This particular song uses that “mm-mm” flow that originated on his track “Keisha & Becky”, and both him and MIST sound really interested and enthused here, as they trade bars in the verses and support each other with ad-libs throughout. The two seem to actually have some chemistry and it’s not an unnatural collaboration. Even in Tion Wayne’s solo chorus, MIST is shouting behind him, and it overall makes the song really aggressive and punchy, even if some of the lyrics are just kind of uninteresting or even confusing, like the oddly-specific jab at an unnamed crack abuser, always referred to as “you” in the song. Is the listener a crack addict? Should I be scared? I’m not entirely sure, but this kind of slaps, especially the keys and vocal sample in the outro. It kind of reminds me of a harsher version of the #1 hit back from 2018, “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo, except these guys are legitimately menacing in the song and the bass-heavy drill beat never subtracts from that, not to say that “Funky Friday” is a bad song (far from it). It’s not about being able to convince me with lyrics, it’s about being able to sell what you say effectively and interestingly – not even uniquely, but just in a way that’s presentable and leads to genuinely good music. M Huncho and Nafe Smallz could take a couple hints from these guys.

#16 – “motive” – Ariana Grande and Doja Cat

Produced by TBHits, Joseph L’Etranger, Mr. Franks and Murda Beatz

Murda Beatz, huh? Well, I haven’t listened to Positions yet, mostly because I’ve been bumping Goddamn Bring Me the Horizon for the past week, but also because 14 tracks of the same song doesn’t necessarily interest me. For the sake of the show I probably should check the album out – it’s not that long – but don’t expect me to have that a positive opinion on it. I said my peace on Grande last week and given the singles I seriously doubt this album will erase my continuous issues with her projects. I’ve always felt that despite her unbelievable talent, she is also unbelievably disinterested and detached from her own music to the point where whatever artistic contributions and creativity she and her team had is completely washed out by the questionable production, weak-sauce trap beats and misguided song ideas (I still roll my eyes on “7 rings” and “sweetener”). From what I’ve heard from this new album, it has a lot more classic R&B keys and strings undercut by trap skitters and modern vocal production, and this is pretty clear in “motive”, a funky house-inspired dance-pop tune that feels miles less robotic and factory-made than most house on the charts, instead going for an organic fast-paced groove and mildly annoying vocal samples. The trap breakdown in the pre-chorus is what gives Murda Beatz the right to put his producer tag at the start of the song, which is honestly just funny. I do like the verses but the chorus doesn’t hit in quite the same way it should, possibly that pre-chorus is just garbage and it doesn’t build to an effective crescendo for the chorus to build up on off of whispery murmuring. Oh, and Doja Cat is here, which took me by surprise when she started lazily rapping since Ari actually sounded like her in the second verse. In fact, this is a Doja Cat song in all but lead artist credit and honestly, the song kind of suffers because of it. This is decent, I suppose, but a collaboration that doesn’t favour either artist.

#9 – “34+35” – Ariana Grande

Produced by ProdByXavi, Mr. Franks, Peter Lee Johnson and TBHits

Ariana Grande’s albums have disproportionate producer credit to producer effort ratio. At least there’s not a M-M-M-Murda on this one. The song title is stupid but this was pushed to radio so I guess it has to be family-friendly PG clean to some degree. It is interesting how it goes for the absurdity of being dirty over Disney-like orchestral blossoms and pretty nice-sounding strings, but it doesn’t go far enough other than the chorus. It’s missing a good, effective, funny opening line, and I feel that the verses are pretty lacking. The pre-chorus is almost cringeworthy and just going into bizarre levels of horny on main but that is very much the point of the whole thing. “You know I keep it squeaky”? I find it almost difficult to take this song as anything more than a joke, but she does have some pretty commanding tones when she asks him to “just give me them babies” and the snarky laugh in the intro combined with pretty slick albeit absolutely stupid punchlines that go from so bad it’s good territory to just unabashedly ridiculous and embracing itself as such. I love the falsetto in the chorus even if it is just building up to that stupid title that is nowhere near as clever as Ari thinks it is. By the way, she completely delivers here and it’s a pretty damn great performance from her, one of her most enthusiastic on record, even with her now typical “yuh”s spread throughout. Hell, the rap verse actually works this time mostly because her charisma actually comes through and the trap skitter has some energy this time, unlike “7 rings”. I don’t get the end where she says she was never good at maths, though, because “34 + 35 = 69” is a pretty solid and correct albeit obviously simple calculation. You got the answer, give it a tick in a different colour pen.

Got the neighbours yellin’, “Earthquake!” / 4.5 when I make the bed shake

There’s a song in the top 10 that uses the moment magnitude scale as a sex metaphor. 2020, everyone.

Conclusion

Let’s cut to the chase: Best of the Week goes to Bring Me the Horizon and BABYMETAL for “Kingslayer”, which should have been obvious. I’m so glad I expanded beyond the top 40 on this show. It means I can talk about songs like that in depth. Honourable Mention might actually go to Ariana Grande’s “34+35” on plain fun alone, although the similarly numeric “1x1” did get close. The Worst of the Week is really a toss-up because there was a lot of disposable filler between the good and interesting stuff this week had to offer. I’ll probably go with “Flooded” by M Huncho and Nafe Smallz, with a Dishonourable Mention to “Too Many Nights” by 220 KID and JC Stewart. Both are just impressively lacking in effort or any appeal I can search for, but knowing my luck, they’ll both be “Old Town Road”-level big. Here’s our top 10:

Thanks for reading this! You can follow me @cactusinthebank on Twitter and I need some sleep. See you next week!

[olixerwoood-blog]

Working On It

Request:  Olie! x not-so-confident-about-hers-body!reader. They are a couple but she is so depressed about her body, while Oliver is almost sport freak with his quidditch obsession. But they working it out anyway ❤ @bluegreyme

Word Count: 1454

Trigger Warning: eating disorder/depression

Author’s Note: Okay so this one hit me a little close to home. I have myself struggled with a eating disorder in the past, because I thought I wasn’t “perfect”. Well I have sense been given help, but you should never let it get to the point that I did. Please if you struggle with a disorder like this then please talk to someone. I am always here to tell my story and help in anyway I can!

She knew it was a big morning. She knew that she needed energy for the day. She knew that her friends were staring at her. She knew they cared and loved her. She knew Oliver loved her no matter what. She also knew that he probably wouldn’t even notice.

“Guys you all have to be focused today. We have to beat Slytherin. We are so close to the cup, and like I have been saying all season. THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE!” Oliver pounded his fist on the table as his voice rose to a level that was way too loud for the comfort of breakfast in the Great Hall. 

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully as she pushed around the remaining food on her plate. She had to listen to Oliver’s constant ramblings about quidditch,and quite frankly she was ready for the season to be over with. Today, was the final match against Slytherin, and if Gryffindor won then Oliver would finally have his precious house cup, that he has been working so hard to obtain.

“Wood, calm down mate. You’ve had us practicing non stop.” George groaned as he down the last of the pumpkin juice in his goblet. Breakfast was beginning to come to a close, and Y/n could tell Oliver’s nerves were increasingly getting worse. 

“Look, guys why don’t we all go down to the locker room so we can run strategy one last time.” Oliver stated as he hopped up from his place at the table. He leaned over and kissed Y/n on the top of her head. “I’ll see you in the stands love-” Oliver rubbed her back as he talked, “then after we win we can celebrate together tonight.” His smile was soft, almost scared, as he waved and walked away.

His other teammates whined and moaned as they all retreated out the door behind Oliver leaving Y/n all alone at the table. 

Once the others were out of sight she slid her plate forward as she slowly rose from the table. She scooped up her belongings and made her way out of the Great Hall as well, except not in the direction of the Pitch. Instead she unhurriedly made her way up towards the girl’s bathroom on the third floor. She knew it was the only place to go where no one would hear her.

To her surprise Moaning Myrtle was no where to be seen this time. She constantly was giving Y/n hassle about her business there in her bathroom.

She reached out to grasp the door of the first stall, and shut it as quickly as she got inside. No thoughts were going through her head. Almost as if she was a machine operating on it’s on will. 

Her knees hit the floor softly as she tied her hair back with the tie on her right wrist, and in one motion her fingers reached for the inside of her throat.

She knew what she was doing was wrong. She knew what she was doing was harmful. She also knew that she didn’t feel perfect.

The thoughts swam through her head as she made her way out of the bathroom leaning against the wall for support. Her body felt weak, and felt as though it couldn’t hold her up. She sometimes felt like this afterwards, but never to this extent. She just wanted to feel pretty, and have a perfect body. However, this only made her feel worse. Tears began to fall softly from her cheeks, which only clouded her vision more. 

She caught her self with her shoulder and continued to walk down the corridor towards the stairs to the lower levels. She was determined to get to the quidditch pitch to cheer on her boyfriend, but honestly was she even going the right way anymore? 

Her eyes were starting to turn black at the sides, so much that she couldn’t even tell who the person was in front of her, but that was all too late as her body went limp and slammed into the hard floor.

“Hey Y/n! Someone quick get help!”

Y/n woke up to bandages around her head, and Oliver at her side. His hand gently placed on her upper thigh with his head resting on the bed beside her head. She could tell that it was late from the darkness peeking it’s way in from the intricate windows on the opposing side of the room. 

She began to lean up with her elbows before two strong arms grasped her right arm pulling her back down.

“L...love? No, don’t move-” Oliver’s raspy voice echoed throughout her head, “just lay back down and rest.” He leaned up to look into her y/c/e eyes before touching their foreheads together. “You gave me quite the scare.” Oliver sighed.

“Ollie? Please. I have no idea what happened.” Y/n looked into his dark eyes, which showed just how terrified her was.

“Well, right after the match McGonagall came up to me and told me that I needed to follow her immediately to the Hospital Wing, and I knew something had to be wrong with you because I didn’t see you in the stands at all. I practically left her behind I was running so fast. When I got here Madam Pomfrey was wrapping those bandages around your head, because you suffered some wounds to your head. She told me that Susan Bones had saw you pass out right in front of her in the third floor corridor. Y/n...I’m.....I’m....so so so sorry darling.” Oliver finished his statement with tears in his eyes. His voice was even starting to crack as he stood up and ran his finger through his hair.

“Darling, I have been so selfish as of late. I have allowed quidditch to take up so much of my time that I haven’t been paying much attention to you and your eating habits. I honestly can’t even tell you what I saw you eat last or what you even wore yesterday for the matter. I haven’t been giving you the proper attention that you need and deserve. I’m such a terrible boyfriend.” By this time his cheeks were flooded with tears. He squeezed your hand as he turned his head away not wanting to meet your eyes. “Y/n....I was so scared when I got here earlier. I was scared to lose you.”

Y/n leaned up against Oliver’s wishes and held her arms wide open inviting him into her. He cautiously took the offer, and held her close against him. Her hands rubbed all up and down his back and she soothed him. 

“Oliver Wood. You are not a bad boyfriend. Yes, you have been a little more obsessed lately than usual, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad boyfriend either. I know that what I’m doing is bad for me. I just can’t seem to stop myself Ollie. I never want you to feel responsible though. I just don’t feel confident and beautiful in my own skin. I want my body to be perfect. I never want the burden to be placed on you though” She guided her hand to his chin so that his face would meet hers.

Oliver leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips before saying, “No, it’s not fair to you that I have been ignoring you. You mean so much more to me than quidditch ever will. I want to help you in any way I can, because to me you’re the most gorgeous girl in the entire world. To me your body is so beautiful, sexy, and perfect. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted love. Your problems are never a burden to me Y/n. I hope that you never think that again. I will prove to you that I will always be here for you. I never want you to experience the pain that we went through tonight ever again. I know we both have stuff to work on, but please let’s work on it together love.” His hands raised to cup her cheeks, and he slowly brought her face closer to his as he placed small kisses along her lips and jawline. 

Y/n’s tears began to fall again, but this time out of happiness. This is the Oliver she missed, and she finally started to see the light at the end of her dark tunnel. Maybe he really could help her get better, and she was going to do everything she could to try and get her disorder under control. “Oliver. I love you. Let’s work on it together.” She raised his hand back up to her face and leaned in to kiss him once again.

“It’s a deal then, and I love you so much too. 

[vintagesugg-blog]

protectors

in which a prank goes a little further than expected, and you find out that the boys will always be there for you

Word Count: 2,500

Rating: PG

I finally got around to finishing this one, hope you guys like it! It’s a long one!

“You ready?” Joe asked, checking the mic for the last time.

“Yep!” You responded, scooting over a tiny bit so that Joe could join you on the bed.

“Alright I’m gonna do the intro, do you want to explain it?”

“Yeah that works for me!”

It wasn’t often that you and Joe filmed videos together �� he had always preferred for his personal life to stay private, but after Jack had accidentally outed the two of you in a vlog a few months back, Joe had grown more open to the idea of you on his channel. Not to mention that his fans absolutely loved seeing the two of you together.

“Hello everyone, today I’m joined with my girlfriend Y/N as you can see. Now, since we’ve been dating I’ve pranked her a few times, and she’s gotten me back each time, and in doing so, she’s proven herself to be quite the prankster herself. So today, I thought we were going to put our pranking abilities to the test with some good ole prank calls.”

“So, we’ve put all our friend’s names in this hat here, and whoever we pull is who we have to call and pretend that the two of us have gotten into a fight. The rules are we have to try and get whoever it is to be on our side of the argument, and if we do, we get the point,” you explained, giving the camera a thumbs up. The hat consisted of all the buttercreams, Alfie and Zoe, since they knew the two of you best.

“Rock paper scissors for who goes first?” Joe offered. You nodded and proceeded to lose, so he pulled a piece of paper out from the hat first.

“Ohhh, I’ve got Oli. Ughhh this is gonna be so hard, he bloody loves you!” Joe groaned. You grinned at the camera, getting excited.

You both waited as he rang Oli, listening to the tone until he picked up.

Oli: Ello! Joe: Ello, alright? Oli: Yeah, you? Joe: Eh, I’ve been better. Are you busy? Oli: Nah, I’m just at mine, what’s going on? Joe: I’m in a bit of trouble… Oli: Oh bloody hell, what’ve you done? Joe: Nothing too serious, it’s about me and Y/N Oli: Go on…

Joe: Well, we got into an argument the other day, and she isn’t really talking to me. She’s full on just packed a bag and left the flat. She won’t return my texts or calls – Oli: You haven’t talked to her at all? Are you sure she’s alright? Joe: Yeah mate, she’s fine. She’s been posting snapchats with her friends, she’s fine. But she’s just completely ignoring me. Like what the hell? Oli: Well what did you do to make her so mad? Joe: I didn’t do anything! Why do you assume I did something? Oli: Because Y/N is Y/N. She doesn’t blow up like that over nothing, so obviously you’ve done something. Joe: Wow, alright cheers mate. Oli: I’ll try to talk to her and see if I can figure out what’s going on. Hang in there bud.

And with that, Oli hung up the phone.

You burst out into laughter while Joe grimaced at the camera.

“Guess who got the po-int, guess who got the po-int,” you sang, dancing a little in your seat.

“Yeah yeah alright, whatever,” Joe teased. Suddenly, he grabbed your leg, flipping you backwards onto the bed playfully, making you scream slightly. You almost fell off the side but he caught you at the last second, pulling you back on with a bit of a panicked expression. You both looked at the camera before laughing again, knowing it would be a hilarious clip.

“Text him and tell him it was a prank, I feel so bad,” you frowned, pushing on Joe’s arm once you were sat back down on the bed properly.

“Alright alright, here.” He pulled his phone out and took a quick picture of you two, captioning it got you!

“Okay, now it’s your turn,” Joe instructed after you both settled back down. You stuck your hand in the hat, pulling out a piece with “Jack” scribbled on it. You showed it to the camera with a grin as you grabbed your phone, starting to make yourself sniffle as if you were crying.

“Oh do one, you can’t pull out the waterworks! That’s cheatin’!!” Joe exclaimed.

“Shhhh,” you hushed him with a finger on his lips as you dialed Jack.

Jack: Ohhh, what the bloody hell do you want? You: J-Jack? Jack: Y/N? Are you crying? What’s happened? You: Joe and I got into an argument over some stupid shit, and we were yelling at each other and then he just left. He just left the flat, and I don’t know what to do. Jack: He yelled at you? He knows you don’t like loud voices; we all know that. You: Yeah, it was just a heat of the moment thing I guess. Jack: Doesn’t matter. I’ll talk some sense into him next time I see him. Where are you now? You: I’m at the flat by myself. He’ll probably show up again in a little bit. Jack: Okay, well I was headed to Caspar’s but I’m coming to yours instead. I’ll be there in like 20 minutes and I’ll bring some dinner and we can talk, yeah? You: Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks Jack. Jack: Of course. Be there soon!

You hung up quickly so that he wouldn’t hear you start laughing at the expressions on your boyfriend’s face.

“Jesus! All it takes is one fake fight and bloody Jack Maynard is trying to steal my girlfriend! If this was real would you actually have dinner with him?” Joe questioned.

“Depends on if he brought Nandos or not,” you shrugged. Joe scoffed at you, making you laugh again.

“C’mon, Jack’s gonna show up soon, it’s your turn! I say if you lose this one then it should be a mercy rule.”

Joe rolled his eyes at you, but pulled another piece from the hat.

“Oh no. I’ve gotten Alfie. This should be good,” Joe smirked, really thinking he had a chance with this one. Alfie had always been close to Joe, so he was bound to be sympathetic. The call connected on the third ring.

Alfie: Ello mate, all good? Joe: Kind of. I need your help with something. Alfie: Alright. Joe: I’m in a bit of a fight with Y/N Alfie: Oh that’s no good. What’s happened? Joe: We got in an argument over some stupid shit last week and have been kind of stand-offish for a few days. But I came home today and she was just gone, like had packed a case and just left. Alfie: Oh shit man, that’s no good. Have you spoke to her yet? Joe: No, she won’t return my texts man. Do you think it was my fault? Alfie: I mean, she doesn’t seem like the dramatic type to just run off but maybe she just needs some time to clear her head. I would just give her some space to cool down and it’ll all work out. Joe: So it is my fault then. Alfie: I’m not saying it is, not saying it isn’t. I think you should just try to apologize to her, even if you don’t know what for, and then she’ll probably tell you what upset her. That works with Zoe most the time. Joe: Alright man, thanks.

He hung up and you looked at each other expectantly.

“I don’t know who got that point honestly,” Joe said, running the conversation back through his head.

“Oh I so won that. He told you to apologize to me, not the other way round. My point, 100%.” You protested.

“I don’t think I can give you that one love! I say we call it a draw, I mean you’re going to win anyways so it doesn’t matter, but I’d like to keep a shred of my dignity in this video,” Joe grimaced at the camera, making you laugh.

“Alright fine, it’s a draw. I’ll call one more, yeah?”

“Go on then.” Joe handed you the hat, letting you pick another. You pulled out one more piece of paper, celebrating as soon as you read it.

“Oh god, who’ve you got? Let me see,” Joe said, trying to grab the slip of paper out of your hand as you danced around.

“Oh bloody hell,” he groaned, turning the paper so the camera could see Caspar written across it. “Well, I’m screwed.” Joe stood up then, pretending to leave the video. You grabbed his hand, pulling him back to sit down as you dialed Caspar on your phone.

Caspar: Hello! You: Hi buddy, are you busy? Caspar: No, I’m just at my flat. You alright? You: Not really. Caspar: Is this about Joe?

You and Joe both gave each other worried expressions.

You: How’d you know about that? Caspar: Jack called me and said he wasn’t coming over anymore, that he was going to yours cause Joe was gone or something. You: Oh, yeah, yeah he left cause we got in an argument. I was just wondering if you had any advice for me, since you know him so well. I miss him already Casp. Caspar: Oh don’t worry, he’ll be back by the end of the night. He used to go to that park close to our old flat and sit and wallow for a while when he got in fights with his old girlfriends, but he always came back to apologize. You: But what if I’m the one that did something wrong? Caspar: Then you can apologize when he gets back, and he can apologize for being so dramatic and everything will be all happy again! You: Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks Casp. Caspar: No problem!

You burst into laughter as soon as he hung up the phone.

“So if we ever actually get in a fight, I should go look for you crying on a park bench somewhere?” You teased, hugging onto his arm.

“Ha ha ha, so funny,” Joe grimaced again. “I hate this video,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

Since all the calls were done, Joe did his typical outro and you wrapped up the video, even though he proclaimed your victory quite grudgingly.

As Joe got up to turn the camera off, you caught his hand.

“You know what we should do?”

“Hm?” He asked, turning back to you.

“We should prank Jack when he gets here. Like you leave, we move all your stuff so he doesn’t see it, and then I’ll pretend like the fight was real and we can see what he does. Just set up your go pro in the kitchen or something. And then you can come back in and act all pissed off that he’s here. He would freak out.”

“Oh my god, let’s do it,” Joe grinned. “We’ve gotta hurry, he should be here soon.”

You both leapt into action. Joe got all the camera’s set up while you changed into comfy clothes and moved all the things he had lying around so that Jack would think he was gone.

Joe had just gotten the right angle when you heard Jack buzz in.

“Quick, go go go!” You rushed Joe out of the room so that he could hide in the hallway outside where Jack couldn’t see him. You buzzed Jack in, making yourself look a bit more disheveled before going out the door to greet him at the elevator, which also helped prevent him from seeing Joe.

His face was sympathetic as soon as the elevator doors opened, a bag of Nando’s in his hand.

“You brought Nando’s!”

“As if I would bring you anything else,” he rolled his eyes, going inside. You turned and winked at Joe, who was recording on his vlogging camera before following Jack inside. You friend pulled you into a tight hug once he had sat the food down. Jack always gave such good hugs.

“Are you alright?” He asked sincerely, beginning to unpack the food.

“I mean yeah, not the best but it could be worse.”

“Do you want to talk about it or just ignore it for now?” He asked, passing you your meal.

“There’s not much to talk about,” you made yourself sniffle and Jack frowned at you, coming around to sit next to you at the island. You faintly heard the door open, signally Joe’s return to the flat, so you rustled the wrappers on your food to mask it.

“You know that the boys and I all love you, and we love Joe too. You guys will work it out, I’ll talk some sense into him,” Jack reassured you. You cranked up the waterworks, forcing a few tears out of your eyes. Jack frowned again and pulled you into another hug, just as Joe made his appearance known.

“Oi! What the bloody hell is this?!” Joe yelled. Jack pulled away from you immediately, turning to Joe.

“Mate,” Jack said warningly, but he stood his ground. You had to bite your tongue not to laugh as you saw the fear on his face. “I was just coming to talk since you left.”

“You think we get in one fight and you can just come steal my girlfriend? Huh?” Joe questioned, stepping a bit closer to Jack.

“No man, of course not! Of course not, what the hell, you really think I would do that?” Jack replied, a bit offended.

“Yeah, well you’re right cause I know you wouldn’t do that and I wanted to see how freaked out you would get so we pranked you!” Joe spoke very quickly, keeping the same tone.

“Yeah well, I just – wait what?”

You and Joe both broke out into laughter at Jack’s confusion, watching as he rethought what Joe said and understood.

“What?! Oh piss off you two, are you kidding? You two didn’t get in a fight?”

“It was for a video, but I just wanted some Nando’s so I let you believe it,” you admitted with a grin, offering him another hug.

“You all suck, and you owe me a dinner!” Jack groaned, but he smiled and gave you a hug anyways. “I’m gonna get you both back for this!”

“You haven’t got a girlfriend to help you get me back though!” Joe teased, giving you a high five and guiding you back into shot.

“Yeah but I’ve got Caspar, and you know damn well we can get you so good. You better watch out,” Jack warned, nodding towards the camera. Joe ended the clip and gave Jack a hug, apologizing for the prank.

“Thanks for looking after her, even if she didn’t really need it,” Joe said sincerely, making Jack blush a bit and turn back to his Nando’s. You all spent the rest of the night hanging out together, and all was well that ended well, though you were sure the return prank would be brutal.

[veronicaphoenix]

I was supposed to write something about this chapter earlier but I got caught up with finishing the epilogue for Into the Abyss of Bad Habits. That doesn't mean that I didn't re-read this chapter at least three times... Yes, especially the things that Noah said at the end... What can I say? I like a talkative man 😄

My overall thoughts after reading this were A VER, COMO OLIVER SE ENTERE SE VA A MONTAR UNA QUE NO VEAS. Oh— sorry, I reacted in Spanish. What I meant to say is that I kept thinking omgomgomg when Oliver finds out. Either he's going to be surprisingly thrilled and like: oh okay, you two fucked each other, great, now let me join. OR, he's going to be super freaking jealous and start world war III.

I'm ready for both, let's be honest.

How clever was it that the chapter started with Aubrey waking up in bed with Oliver and it ended with her sleeping with Noah???? This things blow my mind. You're amazing (even if this wasn't done on purpose 😁)

“What can I say, I like to get my tongue on you.” I DARE YOU TO PROVE IT, OLIVER. AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED YOU'VE JUST TASTED HER MOUTH!!!

“Fuck, it was… I definitely had some drinks.” 😔

“You can’t keep doing this,” I sighed, resigned. I put a hand up to my forehead, pressing against the pounding that seemed to increase my the minute. “You can’t say you only want fun and then turn around and do things like these. It’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to any of us.” I'm just so so happy and proud of her for being straight-forward with this... I personally suffered with the scene about the texts in the previous chapter and got scared at what it would entitle. I was SCARED during this chapter when she finds him at her door, drunk again. But I'm just adoring the way Aubrey is acting and how she's managing things. I know she's a fictional character but I'm living this fic, ok? So i'm sending her all my love and strength. (I'm so dramatic, i know).

“I probably shouldn’t ask,” she admitted, rushing her words. “But are you two together? I saw a picture online where you were holding hands and I just wanted to say that you look so cute together and I promise I won’t tell anyone if you tell me!” Of course the FAN QUESTION. 🤣

About what we were talking before in the private chat; very relevant that you added a talk between Aubrey and the boys about Oliver. It adds to the way the story is building up, especially when it comes to his feelings.

"And he can’t fucking stop talking about you." Really? 🥹

“I’m in love,” it blubbered out of me before I could stop it. SHE ADMITTED IT. SO PROUD OF OUR GIRLLLL WE SUPPORT YOU BECAUSE WE'RE ALSO IN LOVE WITH THOSE TWO HAHA

"Because I’m in love with two fucking men who both told me they only want some fun.” ❤️‍🩹 love you, aubrey. it's ok, they'll come around. They're just being dickheads.

“Two things,” she finally said. “One: Those boys are lying to you and to themselves because no one who just wants to get their dicks wet behaves like that." Well, Lia definitely has a point, or two. Listen to Lia, Aubrey.

"As soon as he saw me, he snapped his laptop shut so quickly I feared it was going to break. “Secret mission?” I asked, brows raised, but never stopped approaching him. He made quick work of moving his stuff away from the couch so I could drop down next to him. “You know it. Top secret. Highly confidential. Almost as well-guarded as our next album.”

All right, is something going on here? because there's a very similar scene in my fic's epilogue and there is something DEFINITELY going on there :P

"Oli grabbed my chin in his hand, dragging me toward him until he could place a kiss on my lips, his mouth so much softer than his fingers as they were digging into my skin." I love small gestures of affection and LOOOVE kisses, specially random kisses.

“I spend a lot of fucking time in your lap lately,” I can foresee the future with these comments. Tell me I'm wrong 🤭

"I’m taking you and Noah out for dinner.” you cannot see how exCITED I AM FOR THIS 'DINNER'

No comments on Noah appearing drunk at Aubrey's door because I can imagine how Aubrey must have felt and... not nice.

“I’m sober enough to know what I’m doing,” Back to the comments. My fingers started tingling after reading this sjkdfnask it's happening. EVERYBODY, IT'S HAPPENING but also, Oliver? where you at?

"One of Noah’s legs slotted between mine to spread my thighs further as his fingers slipped under the waistband of my underwear. He wasted no time finding my clit, just for a moment, before moving lower, pushing a finger inside easily."

*insert gif of bikini bottom fish fisting the ground because he cannot take this*

“Please tell me you have a condom on you,” DID I SAY IT'S HAPPENING BEFORE? BECAUSE NOW IT'S DEFINITELY HAPPENING asnjdkbkfasfs

“I went for extra lube,” he chuckled, “but I don’t really think you need it.” OUR CONSIDERATE MAN

*insert gif of shia labeouf clapping*

"Angel," “Touch yourself, I want to feel you come,” “Fucking gorgeous. Taking me so well, like you were made for me. You look so fucking good with my cock inside you.” NEED I SAY MORE? I. AM. UTTERLY. RUINED. BY. THIS. FIC. and this is not even the threesome scene... I'll book a doctors appointment for that day asap, so that i can get checked as soon as i have a heart attack.

The sweet ending 🥹 I promise I'm not buttering you up, but I fall more in love with this fic as it progresses, and I just can't wait to read more about it. I've been busy these past few days with life and focusing on my own wips, but the moment I am done with Into the Abyss, I will breathe this fic. 🙌🏼

in love with the mess - day nine

summary : Aubrey is going on tour and, for once, she’s decided to focus on having as much fun as possible. Oli can be a little shit but he does nothing short of adore Audrey and… well, maybe Noah a little, too. Noah likes the flirting, as long as no one gets too close, emotionally. But what will happen when the three of them take it too far?

content : smut (p in v, dirty talk), angst, drinking, fluff

length : 6.5k

tags (let me know if you want to be tagged!) : @veronicaphoenix@cookiesupplier@lma1986@jilliemiw86@bngurngheart@lacktoesandtoddlerants @narcissisticbehavior81 @flowery-mess@shilohrosechicken@justeli6@starvingarsyn@floatinglikeaswan @blacksoul-27 @somebodyels3@kageyasma@spikeisdaddy@broken0mens

a/n : Here’s to hoping this is not as shit as my brain keeps trying to convince me it is. Also apologies to @veronicaphoenix​, maybe do some of the meditation you mentioned in your last comments before reading 😅

•••

day nine

I woke up with a headache, Oli’s arms around me and… a tongue on my cheek? It certainly had me more awake than my alarm did. With utter confusion, I pulled away, only to see Oli licking his lips. When my hand traced my cheek I felt something sticky that definitely wasn’t just his saliva.

“We forgot about the chocolate,” he laughed. “Looks like one of them melted and got stuck to your cheek.”

“And obviously your first idea was to lick it off me.”

“What can I say, I like to get my tongue on you.”

“Fucking hell,” I complained, but he knew I didn’t mean it. I still ended up pushing him off as he tried to reach for my cheek again. “Time to get up, Liverpool’s waiting.”

Keep reading

[supernaturalisbae1]

Unapproved Jack Maynard p3 ft Joe Sugg

Thanks for the request

Please feel free to request for other fandoms to!

Also I am not a doctor so I don’t know if any of this stuff is even possible but please just leave it for the story.

Joe’s POV

My sister. Her heart. It stopped.

She’s dead. That’s all I can think about Jack and I are on the floor next to each other sobbing. I now realized how much he actually loved her. This is all my fault. I should have just listened to her. If I did she wouldn’t be dead right now.

What am I gonna do without my little sister?

Third Person POV

The doctors were in the room stabilizing y/n her heart had stopped. But with the condition she was in they expected it. They thought they could revive her but they were having a lot of trouble.

Meanwhile Jack and Joe were in the hallway pressed together in the floor sobbing, while Oli sat it a chair looking very pale. His facial expression looked like he’d just seen a ghost.

Jack and Joe were both thinking it was there fault. They were both right and wrong.

The doctors spent ten scary minutes trying to revive the girl, but she was gone. They started to call time of death, and then the heard beeeeeeeeep beep beep beep beep.

They turned around. The monitor was in and beeping. She was alive. The doctors spent the next half hour trying to stabilize her and give her a check up. Her heart had indeed stopped. But it was so strong and she wanted to live so bad it started itself again.

The doctors finished their checkup and decided she was fine. If nothing like this happened again, she was free to go home in a few days.

The doctors went out in the hall to spread the good news.

Jacks POV

I had no idea what was going on in that room. I thought she was dead. Then the doctors come out and tell us she’s alive. What the hell?! I am so surprised and happy Joe and I run around the hall cheering for a minute.

The doctor said she’s stabilized and that the couldn’t help her heart and she was strong enough to start it beating again and that we could see her in a few hours when she woke up.

As Joe and I were sitting in the room on chairs next to y/n’s bed I decided to have a chat with him. “Okay Joe I know you think that in bad for her but I need you to just listen to me. I love this girl right here with all my heart. I would die for her, or with her if I had a choice. I should have told you and I apologize for that, I understand that it’s my fault she’s in this position but if their right and she’s okay I want your permission before I continue to date her.” I just told Joe everything I was feeling.

“No Jack it wasn’t your fault,I did see the way you changed even before you got with her. I shouldn’t have freaked out and pissed her off. You really have changed and I think I was just mad my baby sister had loved another man besides me. I’ve always been there for her. I’ve always been able to protect her. I really think I got jealous and scared that she might not want me to protect her and that was now your job.” Joe said to me.

Wow I can’t believe Joe actually feels this way.

“Joe you can’t do that to yourself. You’re her big brother you will always be there for her. I think she’ll be scared if you aren’t there for her or to protect her even if I am too. This is a job we will have to share. And you can help her in ways I can’t. What if we have a fight, we have before and she wanted to go straight to you but you didn’t know about us so she went to Zoe. Joe you’re always gonna be there in ways I can’t. And I’m always gonna be there in ways you can’t. She needs us both now more than ever and I know she loves you more than anything. And don’t tell Zoe but you’re her favorite sibling.” I told Joe truthfully.

I honestly felt bad Joe felt like that but I told him the truth I didn’t need to make any of that up.

All of the sudden I heard a groan in front of us.

Y/n’s POV

I heard their whole conversation. I had no idea they felt this way. Me getting hurt was my fault I shouldn’t have run out in the middle of the road.

“You know he’s right Joe.” I said after a load groan from moving my broken leg to fast. Joe’s head shot up and he sped up so fast the chair flew back halfway across the room. He hugged me really carefully like I was glass he didn’t want to risk breaking.

I was honestly fine except for the concussion and broken leg. "I love you Joe. Both of you." I said as I looked at Jack for the last part. "And I don't want you guys to think it was all your fault because it was all of our faults and we all have an excuse for it. Jack you should have told Joe before, but I told you not too so you were listening to me. Joe you shouldn't have yelled so much, but you felt like you were losing your baby sister and that scared you. And I shouldn't have run out into the street or kept this from Joe but I was scared he wouldn't want to be my big brother anymore." I said to them. Ten Years later Jack and I are now happily married for almost just over nine years. We still fight but I always at least call Joe and talk to him because he still always makes be feel better. Joe and Jack have been friends since even before I started dating Jack but Joe still calls him a douche almost every time I tell him we had a fight. Jack and I have been bless with two boys. One, Joesph Victor Maynard, or Joe, is 8, the other, Jack Peterson Maynard, is turning 4 and now we have another one on the way we decided on Connor Joesph Maynard so we have both of our brothers names. We spell Connor with two n's this time though so they Conor and Connor don't exactly have the same name. My leg never did fully heal I got almost all mobility I just can't turn it to the side anymore I have to keep it facing the same way as my body. Jack and I are happier than ever and we love each other. If you think about it the day of the incident made us all a family and I wouldn't change it for the world. Hey guys so this did have a happy ending after all!!! I would like to thank the person who requested this. And his please keep on requesting I do: Headcannons One shots Imagines Smut For: Teen wolf Supernatural Buttercream squad Twilight Hunger Games