#and instead of focusing on her and helping her everyone focused one one interview her boyfriend gave on the news

[area51-escapee]

Begging true crime armchair detectives to understand that you are not Sherlock Holmes you are not special you will not solve the next big case you are doing nothing but putting misinformation out there and spreading harmful rumors and stereotypes. Real life and real tragedies are not murder mystery games you are actively harming people with your insane theories you are centering yourselves rather than the victims you are speaking over survivors and families and friends you are making up batshit insane lies just because you have a “feeling” and it’s not okay it’s not harmless it’s legitimately dangerous and heartless and it’s fucking disgusting how you refuse to see that

[drivestraight]

wildcard!!! I know that you are more focused on writing works centering max, lando and oscar. I wonder if there is any chance you will write about lestappen again in near future. I just love your lestappen works so much and I'm sorry if this question makes you feel uncomfortable 🥺🥺

from here

near future no, but here’s about 5k of my abandoned (little brother of the) prince of monaco charles x driver max wip ❤️ as a gift

The Guardian is first in the round of interviews. A woman named Marie sits across from the sofa, beside cameras, light panels, and mics.

“To start,” Marie says, donning a sympathetic smile. Max struggles to take her at face value. “I want to acknowledge that I’m sure this isn’t how either of you would have liked your relationship to come out. How are you two doing?”

Max tries his hardest to keep a neutral expression. He scowled his way through the hours of media prep yesterday and got scolded each time.

He shifts on the sofa. For a couch made for royalty, it is not very comfortable.

Of course, it comes much easier to Charles, who returns a warm smile. He keeps his eyes on Marie, but places a hand on Max’s thigh, to comfort him. God, everyone’s going to love this, aren’t they?

Horribly, the physicality does help. Max takes a deep breath.

“You’re right,” Charles responds. “It is not at all ideal, but we are thankful for all of the grace that has been extended to us these past few days.”

Max purses his mouth.

Marie glances at him, waiting for agreement. Instead, Max busies himself with studying the details of the room they’re in. The Salle Des Gardes: cobalt walls, beautiful flower bouquets, and centuries-old portraits framed with gold. It’s so beautiful it makes Max uncomfortable.

At his silence, Marie moves on, smiles, and says, “Well, it’s great to have you both here.”

“Yes,” Charles says, “it is. Right Max?” he probes, squeezing Max’s thigh.

Somehow, Max manages not to glare. He clears his throat and manages to hum in concurrence.

“So,” Marie says, “I guess we can start from the beginning. I’m sure everyone would like to know how you two met.”

Max is grateful at how quickly Charles jumps to respond, “I have been a big fan of F1 ever since I was a child,” he replies, “but I did not meet Max personally until the Monaco Grand Prix in 2021.”

“On the podium?”

It was collateral damage, really, Max’s champagne spray getting all over Charles during the celebration. Max hadn’t even known, until Charles told him many months later.

Charles nods. “Yes, on the podium. A little after the race, he was invited to dine with my family, as the winners always are, and we… liked each other. We got on very well that night.”

Yes, Max thinks. We talked, we ate, we drank, we got into a huge fight about Ferrari, we got kicked out of the venue hall, then we hooked up in the toilets upstairs.

Sure, they got on well that night.

“We started seeing each other quite a bit, after,” Charles finishes.

They saved each other’s numbers, and every now and then, between Max’s races and between Charles’ royal obligations, they’d meet up in Monaco.

“Who asked who out?”

Charles turns his head and looks at Max, expectantly.

Max glares, but Charles only lifts a brow, unwavering. “I did, I guess,” Max concedes, trying not to roll his eyes at the way Charles glows, dimples pressed deep into his cheeks.

In a way it’s true. Max had been the one to shove Charles up against a wall and kiss him, drunkenly and furiously.

For the next two years, it was easy, despite who they were, perhaps because of who they were. They were on the same page about what it was they had: purely an arrangement of convenience. Entirely physical, no-strings attached. They’d meet in Max’s flat, maybe have a drink and talk about the most recent race, and get to it. After, Max would let Charles use his shower, then Charles would leave. Not once would Charles ever sleep over.

Still, they were exclusive, in a way. Max found something good, something safe, something easy, with someone who was on the same page as him. They were physically compatible. They wanted the same things from each other. Max didn’t see a need to look elsewhere, and neither did Charles.

Max had no interest in making it any more than it was. Neither did Charles.

For two years, it was simple like that. Max bribed his doorman, and Charles swore his security detail to secrecy. Charles hadn’t told anyone about Max. Max hadn’t told anyone about Charles. No one needed to know. What was there to tell? The F1 world champion and the Prince of Monaco’s little brother were friends with benefits? They were barely friends.

“Yeah?” Marie asks, looking surprised. “What was it about Charles that interested you?”

Charles’ expression is rapt and curious, his focus singularly on Max now.

Well, Max thinks. If they want him to speak from his heart, that’s what he’ll do.

“Of course,” Max says, smiling for the first time since the news broke, “it was not his personality.”

Marie laughs, amused. Charles makes an unbecoming noise, his entire face scrunching up.

“Max!” he squawks, outraged.

“What?” Max asks innocently, tipping his head to the side. He is starting to have a little fun. He finds Charles’ hand on his thigh, lays his over his knuckles, his thumb brushing at his wrist. “I thought we were of course wanting to be honest today. Your personality is not the first thing people notice about you.”

Annoyed, Charles purses his lips. “And what is?”

Max hums in faux contemplation. “Your face, of course.”

Charles’ brows knit together. Max relishes in the fact that Charles is the one on his toes this time. “You only like me for my face?”

Rolling his eyes, Max says, “It is the only good part about you.”

Charles squints, licks his lips, and levels Max with a look. Max knows that look: he is thinking, planning. 

It is pin-drop silent for a short moment. Suddenly, the room feels very small.

Charles leans in closer, marginally, but enough that Max’s breath hitches, and slides his hand higher up, his fingers firm against the inside of Max’s thigh. “Really? None of the other parts you like?” 

Max lets his eyes wander: from the mole on Charles’ cheek to the one on his neck, from the dip of his Cupid’s bow to the stubble on his chin. It is distracting and it is unfair, how beautiful Charles is.

“Really,” Max says, gaze returning to Charles’ eyes. He will hold his ground, even if he doesn’t mean it. “None of it.”

/

Thirty minutes later, Marie and all the cameramen leave. They are given half an hour in private to rest before their next interview. Le Parisien this time. At least then, he thinks, they’ll be more significantly more interested in Charles than they will be for him.

Even though they’re technically free now, the palace made it clear that they are not to leave this room until they’ve finished the last interview.

Once the doors shut and they are alone, Charles turns and glares at him.

Since the news broke yesterday morning, this is the first time they’ve truly been alone.

“Your team will not be happy with that. You saying you like me only for my face.”

Of course that’s what Charles will take from the interview. After Marie asked all her questions about the genesis of their relationship, her questions pivoted to Max, about what it means for him to be the first openly gay Formula 1 driver in decades.

Each time he was asked a question, Charles squeezed his knee, running circles with his thumb. 

Max hadn’t met with his PR team beforehand—Monaco’s royalty took priority, monopolized him and all of yesterday. He had no idea what Red Bull wanted him to say, what the optics were, so he spoke from the heart.

His answers were simple: it means nothing to him. It means nothing to what he has achieved. He never wanted to be an inspiration. An icon. An idol. If he is, then he is, but that was never his intention, that was never his goal.

Nothing changes.

“Obviously, I was joking,” Max mumbles, standing up and pacing around in front of the sofa. There’s a whole table filled with refreshments, and Max is hungry—he’s always hungry—but the season is in full swing, and he needs to keep his weight down. He wishes they had Red Bull or something, but they only have tea and coffee. He settles for shoving his hands into the dress slacks he was forced into, pressing the tip of his Oxford shoe against the border of the carpet. “And I do not think your team will be very happy with you feeling me up on camera.”

Charles huffs. He crosses his arms over his chest, defensively. “I had to make it seem like we like each other, after what you said.”

Max scoffs and sits back down on the couch, toying with the seam of the green plush pillow beside him. “I think everyone is pretty convinced that we like each other,” he mutters, and then, mortifyingly, his stomach growls. Loudly. It’s the afternoon now, and he hasn’t eaten since breakfast.

And Charles stands all of a sudden. Max watches, confused, as Charles makes a beeline to the table of refreshments, shoes clacking against the hardwood until he reaches carpet. There is a way about how Charles moves, magnetic to the eyes. He grabs a small scone, then heads back to Max.

Closer and closer, until he’s settled between Max’s spread thighs, towering over him.

Bossily, he shoves the scone in front of Max’s face. “Eat. We have a long day.”

Max sighs. He’s explained this to Charles before, his diet. “Charles,” he says, hoping that’s enough, not wanting to give the whole spiel again.

“It is a royal order,” Charles says seriously. He presses the scone against Max’s mouth.

Max angles his head away. “I am Dutch, if you didn’t know.”

“You live in Monaco,” Charles insists, “and I am the Prince.”

Max snorts. “You are the little brother of the Prince.”

In lieu of a verbal response, Charles sighs and places his hand on Max’s cheek, leveling Max with a look, that same one from before. His palm is soft, smooth, but his thumb is firm where it presses against the seam of Max’s lips, coaxing his mouth open. The ball drops; the rally ends. At the end of the day, Max is starving. He cuts his losses and bites, gaze fixed on Charles as he chews on the stupid scone. Once he’s swallowed, he expects Charles to let up, but Charles raises a brow, pressing the scone against Max’s lips again. Max groans, understanding, and takes another bite, and another, and just as he’s about to finish the scone, Charles quickly pulls it back, and eats the last bite himself.

Max rolls his eyes. Of course. Charles giggles, and wipes off a crumb from the corner of Max’s lip. Even when Max’s face is clean, Charles keeps his hand on Max’s cheek, smoothing out his frown.

They linger like this for a few moments, and Max feels the anxiety leftover from the interview start to dissipate, his shoulders laxing.

“I know you did not want this,” Charles says quietly. “I did not want it either.” Max swallows, his chest feeling tight. “But it’s like this, and we have to do it together. If it is to work, we have to make it look real.”

“I know,” Max says, starting to feel bad. Charles got fucked over with all of this too. Today, Charles is more calm, more—present, than he was yesterday, a quiet wreck in the briefing. His mental resiliance really is something. He places a hand on Charles’ waist, pulling him in closer. “I was of course there in the briefings.”

Charles pokes harshly at Max’s cheek, like he is trying to sculpt an artificial dimple. “I do not think you were listening.”

Max closes his thighs around Charles’ legs. He is very warm, and they have half an hour before the next interview. Hm. They might as well spend it wisely.

“Can you read my mind now? Is that another one of Prince Charles’ royal powers?”

Before Charles can respond, Max tightens his grip on his waist, before sliding his hand lower, to grab at Charles’ ass. Charles’ eyes widen, his mouth parts in surprise, and he sucks in a gasp.

“Max,” he whispers, blushing a soft pink. His hand drops to Max’s shoulder to steady himself.

“We of course have time,” Max points out, bringing his other hand to Charles’ other cheek, tugging him closer through the fabric of his slacks. “And we have a long day.”

It’s been months since the last time they did this. Not since before winter testing.

Max only now realizes how much he’s missed it.

“Not here,” Charles mumbles shyly, looking around, as if there’s anyone else here. Despite his protests, he doesn’t make any effort to fight Max’s hold.

Maybe, Max thinks, Charles misses it too.

“Why not?” Max asks. “Do you not like being watched by the portraits? They are your ancestors, right? I don’t think they’d mind.”

Charles sighs, but Max catches a small smile on his face. Regardless, Charles shakes his head, stubborn. “It is not the portraits I am worried about. What if someone comes in?”

“It will be their fault for not knocking,” Max snorts. At Charles’ withering glare, he sighs and says, “No one’s going to come in. There are guards outside.”

“Still,” Charles argues, pink all the way up to his ears now. His eyes drop to Max’s lips, then back up to his eyes. “We will be… messy for our interview.”

“But it will seem like we really like each other a lot,” Max jokes, grinning.

Charles doesn’t take the joke well. He pouts and pinches Max’s ear with his fingernails. Max laughs and releases Charles’ ass. “Fine, fine,” he concedes. “At least come here?”

Charles pulls his mouth to the side. “Will you behave?”

Max shows Charles his palms, hands positioned before his chest. “I will behave,” he assures.

Charles shoots him one last look, before sighing and climbing up onto the sofa, knees on either side of Max’s lap, and sitting. Immediately, he buries his face in the side of Max’s neck, his hair tickling Max’s ear, and lets out a contented noise.

Max barely got any sleep last night, all wired up, and from how exhausted Charles looks—feels, melting into him, breathing softly, maybe the first moment of silence he’s had all day—he can tell it must have been the same for him.

For a few minutes, they stay like that. Max closes his eyes, stroking Charles’ back. There are too many layers between them. Max kind of wishes he took his suit jacket off, or at least his tie, before he asked Charles to sit on his lap. Too late now, Max thinks, nosing at the spot below Charles’ ear. He notices, in this time, that Charles must be wearing a new cologne. It is nice; he smells nice. Charles always smells nice.

Max presses a harmless kiss on the side of Charles’ neck. Then another and another, until no space is left unkissed. He moves to the center of Charles’ throat, and Charles lets it happen, lets Max pepper small kisses along the ridges, his mouth closing, softly, over his carotid, Charles’ heart pulsing like a rabbit between Max’s lips. Charles likes that: the little kisses. When Max reaches the cut of his jaw, he starts to be a bit more bold with it—licking and biting gently, Charles’ stubble rough against his tongue, tracing the contours of him.

Charles starts to let out little pants, his hips starting to roll ever-so-slightly. Max slides a hand between their chests, what little space is left between them, and finds Charles’ crotch, gently palming over the bulge. He’s half-hard already. Max hums, pleased.

Finally, he makes the move and makes it stick: firmly, he kisses Charles, right on the lips. It is a tender kiss, but deep and filled with intent. No more pretense.

Breathily, Charles mumbles against his mouth, “This is not behaving.” He sounds annoyed, but he keeps kissing Max back, keeps grinding his ass on top of Max’s crotch.

Max pulls away, laughing when Charles immediately chases his mouth and makes an unhappy, surprised noise, laughing when he opens his eyes and sees Charles’ eyes: dark, pupils wide and wanting.

“Okay,” he says, voice a little raspy, even to his own ears. “We can stop.”

Charles’ jaw drops. Outrage is a cute look on him. “Oh,” he says, brows furrowing, exhaling through his nose, “you are—”

He doesn’t finish. He only shakes his head, grabs Max’s face with both his hands, firmly, and kisses him, furiously.

Charles’ mouth is soft and plush, but his kiss has a fire to them, an intensity; this part has always been the easiest, with him. The physicality. Everything else, that’s the difficulty.

Their noses brush, and Max pivots away, only slightly, to kiss at the corner of Charles’ mouth, light and teasing. “Yeah? What am I?”

Charles finds his lips again, positions Max’s head right back where it was, and plants a kiss square on his mouth. “Horrible,” Charles says, and kisses Max again. “Annoying,” he says, and kisses Max again. “The worst,” he says, and kisses Max again.

“Don’t let anyone hear you say that, of course,” Max says, helping Charles take his suit jacket off. “We have to seem like we like each other.”

Charles doesn’t deign him with a response, merely rolls his eyes and tosses the jacket to the side. He is gorgeous like this: eyes blown and glossy, his mouth parted, wet, begging to be kissed.

So Max kisses him again, his hands rucking Charles’ button-up from his slacks, until he can slip his hands under the fabric, finding his waist. He uses this newfound leverage to flip their positions, to maneuver Charles so that he’s on his back and horizontal on the ugly, uncomfortable sofa. Charles yelps; his chest heaves, and his throat bobs. He is so pretty like this: in the painfully bright light of this room, it is even more vivid, and for the first time since the news broke yesterday, Max thinks, maybe this will be worth it.

Max takes the moment to burn the sight of him into his retinas: his mousy hair messy around his head like a halo, his kiss-swollen lips parted and wanting, his clothes, even, rumpled and wrinkled in a way that Max knows he hates, in a way that he never lets anyone see.

Half an hour. Half of that is probably gone by now, Max reckons. They’ll have to hurry. He can take his time, another time.

He forces himself to focus. He takes off his own jacket before he forgets, shoves Charles’ thighs apart so that one leg is splayed off the couch, then he drives his knee between them. He swoops down once again, and Charles sighs dreamily into his mouth. Max slides his hands down Charles’ chest until he’s found the buttons of Charles’ slacks, undoing them with deft fingers.

“This is—” Charles starts, lifting his hips, helping Max pull his bottoms to his thighs. Multi-tasking, Max kisses down his throat, skips down to his stomach, and kisses at the happy trail leading from below his belly-button. Distracted, Charles moans and writhes beneath him, throwing his forearm over his eyes. Cute.

“What was that?” Max asks, amused. He kisses Charles’ hip bone lightly, and wraps his fingers around the base of Charles’ length, adoring the way Charles’ hips buck at the touch. He traces a vein with his thumb, his precum making the slide easy, then spits into his hand—not like they need it—and starts to jerk him off. Brows knitted together, Charles squirms, so Max keeps his body steady with a hand on his stomach, feeling the flutter of muscle there. 

Charles tries again, propping himself up on his elbows so that he can meet Max’s eyes. His face is pink, and his breaths come squeaky. He scrunches his nose, prissy and aristocratic, and says, “This is a very old couch. And my suit is very expensive.”

Max sighs and rolls his eyes. 

“I’ll keep you clean,” he promises, and takes Charles into his mouth, hollows his cheeks, and sinks as far down as he can go.

/

Against all odds, they have some time to spare. They spend it fixing each other’s clothes and sex hair, making each other look at least somewhat presentable. Unfortunately, while Max had kept his promise and kept Charles clean, Charles hadn’t returned the favor; now there’s a probably irreparable stain on the antique couch. Oops, Max thinks, and he makes Charles sit on it for their next round of interviews.

It isn’t so bad.

Thankfully, F1 was the only one they’d been on video for. Charles, for the rest of the day, is hazy-eyed and loose-limbed. Max capitalizes on his distraction, teases Charles as much as he can and knows how to—Charles lets it all happen.

And he seems, almost, as if to enjoy it.

But maybe Max is projecting.

/

By dinnertime, Max is finally released. Charles is whisked away by his brother before Max even tries to get a word in, so he doesn’t try. He gets driven home, orders Brad-approved takeout, and calls his dad. Lets him know how the day went. After, he calls his mum, then his sister, and then Raymond. At 8 PM, Brad comes over for training. They talk about things that don’t matter. At 10 PM, Max showers, brushes his teeth, turns off the lights, and crawls into bed. He checks his messages. He frowns when he notices that Charles hasn’t texted. Max isn’t sure why he was expecting him to.

He checks his other texts. He sees that Gemma has texted him his media schedule for the weekend. He doesn’t bother reading it, leaves it for tomorrow. He puts his phone down on the table, closes his eyes, and thinks.

In all this time, the world hadn’t stopped spinning. Even now, it doesn’t stop spinning. Media day is in three days. Infinitely worse: it’s Monaco. Charles will be there; for all of it, he will be there. Normally, WAGs and—now, Max guesses—BAHs are off-limit topics, but there’s no guarantee his sexuality will be. They will want to prep him. Make sure he doesn’t say anything stupid. Charles will be there, and they will have to act in love. Max will have to dodge cameras and avoid journalists the entire weekend. He will have to make statements. He will have to respond. Charles will be there.

On Sunday, Charles will be on the podium.

On Sunday, Max wants to win.

Too much to think about. Too much to worry about.

One day at a time, Max thinks. One day at a time.

/

Voici got a hold of the story first. Apparently, evidence had been slowly building up for months—quotes from Max’s building neighbors and a now-fired member of Charles’ security detail.

The most incriminating evidence, however, were the pap photos taken of them kissing in Max’s car.

They’d been so careful—but maybe, over the last few months, they’d grown complacent.

The story broke the day of the cancelled race in Imola, first thing in the morning. Four hours later, Le Parisien got a hold of it, and that’s when shit started to really hit the fan.

Red Bull was blindsided.

So was the Crown.

/

Max had been blissfully unaware until around noon when he woke up. For many hours, quieted by Do Not Disturb, his phone had been blowing up with calls from Raymond, from Christian, from his father. Everyone important in his life. Before he got a chance to call any of them back, he spotted the ESPN notification at the top of his screen:

Max Verstappen: Formula 1’s reigning world champion and first gay driver in decades?

Below that, an Apple News notification:

Monaco’s Sweetheart breaks hearts worldwide? The inside scoop of Prince Charles of Monaco and Max Verstappen’s 2-year long affair.

In a way, nothing in any of the reports had exactly been false.

/

Max was driven to the palace, silently escorted to a meeting room, and he was seated next to Charles, who was quiet and playing with his hands in his lap and looked like he might throw up. In that moment, Charles looked—small. Charles looked—afraid. Max had never seen him like that before. Max wanted to say something, wanted to ask him if he was okay, but the meeting was in full swing; they hadn’t even paused for Max’s entrance. He settled with placing a hand on Charles’ thigh, his heart rabbiting in his chest. Charles laid his hand over Max’s. It was all Max could do. Max was afraid too.

Once he arrived, however, they switched to English, and explained the plan they came up with while he was sleeping: to confirm the status of their relationship, and run a full press tour. Immediately, without coordinating with Red Bull. That the Prince’s little brother was not only dating a man, but dating the F1 world champion, needed an immediate response, and Charles’ image takes priority over Max’s.

They needed to take control of the narrative, spin it in the right way: They’re in love.

Max didn’t understand. He interrupted halfway, “But we’re—” He glanced at Charles, silent beside him. “We’re not actually—”

Finally, Charles spoke up. He lifted his head, turned to Max, and said, “It does not matter.”

“But—”

“Max,” Charles said, with finality. His eyes were shaking. He looked more upset than Max had ever seen him. “It does not matter.”

And that was that.

/

Tuesday morning, Red Bull post official statements on all their social media platforms, and Max’s social media manager posts a statement from him that he didn’t write. He doesn’t see any of it himself. He stays offline.

That afternoon, he’s in a few virtual meetings with marketing, and they confirm with him the schedule Gemma sent, that they’ve canceled the shootings he had with Checo, and that they want him to focus on keeping a low profile.

He has done more than they needed him to, thanks to the insistence of the Crown.

The interview with Marie won’t be released until Thursday, but Red Bull had received an early preview from the Guardian. To his surprise, the team is satisfied with it. They of course aren’t exactly pleased with some of his responses, and they request that he answer differently and less abrasively next time, but Max is guessing that their expectations were so low that he managed to exceed them, somehow.

They hadn’t even wanted him to speak to any press in the first place. Neither had Max, obviously, but Charles—it would have been silly if Charles had done the interviews alone. Charles needed him there. So.

Wednesday, he streams on Twitch with RedLine. It wasn’t exactly news to them or anyone close to him, the gay thing, but the Charles thing, well—it was a surprise to everyone. Even Max. The boys ask him if he wants them to steer clear from making any jokes about it, and Max says he doesn’t care either way. The last thing Max wants is for his friends to walk on eggshells around him; the last thing Max wants is for things to change any more than they already have. So Crane jokes about it, Bennett jokes about it, and Max also jokes about it. They permaban anyone in chat who jokes about it.

 And that’s Wednesday.

/

Thursday isn’t the hell he was expecting it to be.

Red Bull managed to pull strings and get Max out of the press conference and TV pen appearances, and Checo’s been left to handle the fanzone all on his own, so Max stays inside the Red Bull Energy Station, keeps his head down as much as possible, ignoring the roars of reporters outside, only speaking with his engineers and mechanics.

Tomorrow, though, he won’t be able to get around media.

Don’t worry about the press, GP tells him in the paddock, clasping a hand on his shoulder. It’s all noise. Just focus on driving. Nothing changes, at least from our end.

Max tries his hardest to believe it.

[shuadotcom]

In Case You Didn’t Know (M)

Pairing: Lee Chan x Fem!Reader

Summary: Chan has always been just one of your step-brother’s best friends. He’s also been in love with you for as long as everyone remembers, but you never paid him much mind - that is until you decide to return home after many years away and you see the man he’s become. He goes from being your little brother’s best friend to being the perfect man for you in a matter of months. Now the questions are who wants who more and will either of you do anything about your feelings?

Genres: Fluff, romance, smut, a little angst | AUs: Brother’s best friend au, roommates au, 90s au

Rating: 18+(MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED) | Words: 28.8k 🥴

Warnings: Profanity, alcohol use, will-they-won’t-they tension, a scene of reader x Lee Minhyuk (suggestive) and reader x Joshua (romantic) | Smut Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering (f.receiving), oral (f.receiving), thigh riding, praise, dirty talk, pet names (baby, babygirl, good boy), service top!Chan

Note: Written for the Now That’s 90s collab hosted by @beomcoups & @mingsolo ! I wanted to get this out for Christmas but my brain had other plans. I wanted to invoke a kind of cheesy Christmas romance movie feel to this while still keeping it 90s so that’s the vibe we’re going for! Thank you to the always amazing @wongyuseokie for the lovely banner 💙 And thank you @wooahaeproductions for beta reading my word vomit and helping me come up with this title! I love and appreciate you very much my beta/fic title queen! 💖 Also, I want to give giant sappy thank yous, hugs, and kisses to Bee, @horanghater, @onlymingyus, and @the-boy-meets-evil for all giving me pep talks and offering support throughout the process of this fic coming to exist. It’s my longest fic ever and I wanted to start over so many more times than I did so I appreciate and love y’all v much!! 🥹💞🫶🏽

“Miss? We’re here,” The taxi driver's voice wakes you, bleary eyes focusing on the apartment building outside the car window. You hadn’t been sleeping that long, but it was long enough to make you tired after your fifteen-hour flight to Seoul. That, coupled with the heat of the taxi made you cozy enough to nap, but you’re finally looking forward to being out of a moving vehicle.

As the taxi driver unloads your suitcases from the trunk, you step out into the cold September air, and triple-check the address of the apartment building, comparing the number on the building in front of you to what’s written in your planner in hand. You had verified the address with your step-brother each time the two of you spoke on the phone leading up to your flight to Korea.

When you originally told Hansol that you decided that you were ready to quit your flight attendant career and move back home, your original plan was to move back in with your parents. Going into it, you knew well enough that the move would be annoying. You loved your mom and stepdad, but your mom was a bit of a helicopter mom growing up, so you can only imagine what living under her roof again would be like.

Luckily, you and your brother have always gotten along and been close, so instead of subjecting you to moving back home, he offered to let you move in with him and his roommate. Their third roommate was planning on moving out to live with his partner, so his room would be open for the taking. 

“It’d be so much easier than putting an ad in the paper or online and interviewing strangers. You and Chan are cool right?” Hansol had asked, referring to his other roommate. Lee Chan was one of his best friends since you all were kids. Other than his very loud and very obvious crush on you, you had no problem with Chan and gladly accepted the room offer.

After you and your brother made a plan for you to move in, you contacted your oldest and closest friend who had offered you job opportunities before, citing if you ever wanted to move back to South Korea, she would do her damndest to get you something. Needless to say, she was thrilled to hear your voice when you finally called and broke the news. 

The planning to get here seemed like it took forever, but now that you’re back with your feet on Seoul soil, you were happy. The journey of closing this chapter of your life was wrapping up. Now you will have a chance at doing something different for the next part of your life.

With both full-to-the-brim suitcases in hand, you roll them behind you into the building and to the elevator. The ride to the third floor is short and the walk to your brother’s apartment is even shorter.

Just as he had instructed, you lift the welcome mat to find a key waiting for you and use it to let yourself in. 

“Han?” You call your brother’s name once inside but don’t get a response. You can hear water running down the hall and see shoes by the door so he’s obviously home. 

Your eyes sweep over the living room as you take off your coat and boots. You’re surprised at just how clean the apartment is with two men in their mid-twenties living in it. The couch is a simple black fabric three-seater with a matching chair off to the side. A brown wood coffee table sits in front of both with a few magazines and two remotes on it. Presumably, for the TV and VCR sitting across the room from the seating. 

You had half expected to see clothes and movies strewn across the floor and furniture, but there’s none of that in sight. 

After hanging your coat on the rack by the door and leaving your boots with the other pair, you leave your suitcases in the foyer and start down the hallway, heading for what you assume is the bathroom. You’re not sure which room is Hansol’s, but he mentioned that he’d be home when you got in, so you plan on poking your head into each door until you find the one that so obviously screams Chwe Hansol.

The water cuts off in the bathroom as your socked feet pad across the carpet and you make a pitstop at the bathroom, figuring you’ll just meet your brother there instead.

“Hansol?” You raise a hand to knock on the door at the same time that it swings open. It is most certainly not your brother on the other side.

Out of the bathroom, clad in only a fluffy white towel slung low on his hips, steps your brother’s roommate and best friend Lee Chan.

The same Lee Chan that you’ve known since he was in grade school when his hair was spiked, his eyes were too far apart and his head was too big for his body. The same one that’s been hopelessly in love with you since he and his family moved in next door to you and Hansol when he was ten. You of course have had to turn him down all of your life. Other than the fact that he’s a few years younger than you, he was always just your brother’s awkward but sweet best friend. You remember exactly how he looked and how he acted - like a kid.

This Lee Chan though is different. This Lee Chan very clearly works out. His arms are muscular and buff. He has defined pecs and abs that are still covered in flecks of water that are dripping down his built body. Dripping down to the light dusting of hair leading from his belly button and underneath the towel.

This Lee Chan has a strong jaw, pouty lips, and dark hair that hangs in his eyes. This Lee Chan is one of the finest men you’ve ever seen in your life - and a man he most certainly is. Your eyes unabashedly sweep over his mouth-watering frame until you meet his brown eyes and you remember instantly that this is still the Lee Chan that you should absolutely not be looking at like this. 

“Oh! Y/n!” His voice is much deeper than you remember and it sits heavy in the pit of your stomach.

“Chan! Sorry, I thought you were Hansol! He said he’d be home when I got in.” You clear your throat, trying to get a grip on yourself. 

“Oh yeah, he got called into work at the last minute. He left you a note on the fridge.” 

“Oh, okay.”

The two of you stand there for a moment, neither of you speaking.

“Well uh, let me get dressed and then I can give you a tour of the apartment and your room. I’m heading out soon to meet up with some friends, but I have time.” 

“Only if you want to! I don't want to hold you up!”

“You won’t, promise! Just give me a few minutes.”

Chan flashes you a smile that fills up his whole face and you can’t help but notice how handsome he looks.

You nod and scurry to the opposite side of the hallway, realizing that you’re still trapping him in the doorway of the bathroom. You watch him walk into what you can only assume is his room and go back into the living room, waiting for him on the couch. 

You’re thankful for him needing to take a few minutes because you need some time yourself as well. The fact that this man is the same boy that you grew up alongside is a lot to wrap your head around. 

The two of you have always gotten along. He was a sweet kid even though all he did was follow you around at any moment he could. He was funny and probably one of Hansol’s most respectful friends which you appreciate, given that his friend group was all just a bunch of rowdy boys, but you’ve never thought about him like that in all the time that you knew him. 

Over the years, there have been a few times where you’d see him in pictures your mom would email or mail to you whenever you were somewhere for a long period of time. The last time you’d come home for the holidays was three years ago and you saw Chan briefly, but from what you recall, he just looked like some guy to you when you had seen him. He did not look like this then and he certainly hadn’t been this good-looking growing up or maybe you would have entertained something with him. 

That thought is only fleeting and you have to calm your heart (and your pussy) from reacting to seeing him like this. He’s still your little brother’s best friend and he’s now your roommate, and in no way can anything happen. That is messy on so many levels. 

This sudden onslaught of want has to be because you’re just that desperate for a romantic connection with someone. Or you just need to get laid. Trying to maintain any semblance of a relationship in your line of work proved to be harder than you’d think.

For the past almost 10 years of working in the sky, you’ve had your fair share of hookups here and there. Your last was a fun, albeit messy, fling with a new pilot you were often on the same flights with named Kevin. He was handsome and funny and easy to get along with, but that didn’t end well, seeing how he got right to work hooking up with all the other flight attendants on his flights. You weren’t sure if commitment in the form of officially being boyfriend and girlfriend was what you wanted with him, but you had gone out of your way to make sure you weren’t sleeping around or seeing other people when the two of you got together. He didn’t agree with that.

Before Kevin, there was another flight attendant you were often on the same flights as. Krystal was sweet and the two of you had grown close, but she wanted to keep your relationship a secret from everyone all of the time. You had known going into it that you were still in a time where people were weird about queer people, but you also didn’t care that much. She did though, and ended up calling it off mostly due to paranoia.

Then there was the wealthy businessman, Jacob. He was an amazing guy and an even more amazing lay, but he wanted you to quit your job and move to Canada with him. This was a bit earlier in your career so you were nowhere near ready to abandon it all. He didn’t like that and would get into huge fights with you about it until you finally broke it off.

There were other tries and fails, but the moral of the story is that dating was damn near impossible for you for most of your adult life. Now that you’re planning on finally settling somewhere, you need to get back onto the dating scene and stop lusting over someone you should not be drooling over.

Chan comes out of his room then, dressed and hair styled. He’s clad in denim jeans and a white, long-sleeved shirt and somehow your eyes still sweep over him as if he’s still standing in front of you in a towel. 

He doesn’t seem to notice your ogling since he simply flashes you a wide smile and beckons you to follow him into the next room.

“So, the apartment isn’t anything too fancy. We’ve got the kitchen around the corner here; if you go through that door, that’s the balcony. There’s a couple of chairs and a drying rack out there - nothing very interesting.” He points around the simple kitchen, gesturing to the sliding door next to the fridge leading to the balcony. Chan walks in front of you again to lead you back out into the living room and you can’t help but catch a whiff of his cologne. The warm, woodsy scent makes you groan internally, and yet again, you need to check yourself.

He gestures to the living room, mentioning the entertainment center and their VHS collection. He mentions that your brother made a space for you under the sink in the bathroom for you to put some of your things. Chan points out the small closet next to the bathroom where they keep extra towels and linens and the washing machine which sits in a small nook next to that closet.

The room directly across from the bathroom belongs to Hansol, and when looking inside you see that’s obvious. Posters line the walls and CDs and books are piled on the dark wood desk in the corner. Clothes are strewn about on the floor along with a few pairs of sneakers. Since the rest of the apartment is cleaned up, clearly Hansol reserves the mess for his own space.

The second room next to Hansol’s is Chan’s. He lets you poke your head in and you’re surprised at how neat it is, much like the main area of the apartment. It’s safe to assume that Chan must be in charge of keeping things neat or at least keeping your notoriously messy brother in line. 

The last room at the end of the hall is yours. It previously belonged to Seungkwan, another one of Hansol’s best friends and their former roommate. It’s clean and neat, with a desk against the wall on one side and a made-up bed on the other. A dresser sits near the closet next to a full-length mirror. Otherwise, there’s not much else in it.

“Oh! Let me grab your bags! I should’ve offered.” Chan ignores your protest telling him not to worry about it and goes to get your suitcases anyway.

He wheels them down the hall and into your room as you grab your backpack and purse and follow behind him.

“Thanks, Chan.” He leaves your luggage by the door and smiles at you again.

“No worries, Y/n,” Chan checks his watch before announcing that he’s about to leave. “ If you need anything, Hansol should be back later this afternoon and I know he keeps the number to his work line on the fridge. I’ll probably be home in the evening, but otherwise, the apartment is yours since you live here now.” Chan waves at you as he leaves your room and you take a seat on the chair in front of the desk, listening as he collects his things and shouts another goodbye, closing, and locking the front door behind him.

The apartment is quiet when it’s just you and the temptation to sprawl out onto the bed and take a nap is so real, but instead, you force yourself up and out into the living room. You know that you should call your mom and let her know you’ve landed, but you also know she’ll talk your ear off if she answers, and you’re not really in the mood for that.

Instead, you pick up the phone on the side table and call your childhood best friend Jinah, intending to coordinate a time to meet and catch up. When she doesn’t answer you leave a message, letting her know this phone number and that you’ve made it to Seoul. There are a few other friends you need to connect with, but that can wait until later. 

For now, you decide that a hot shower is calling you. Admittedly, it takes a few minutes for you to figure out how the shower works, but when you do, you’re more than thankful for the opportunity to clear your head and finally relax. You’ve been frazzled and stressed for months leading up to quitting your career and moving back home, but now that it’s done and you’re here, you feel as though you get a little bit of breathing room.

You still have the matter of getting a new job, which Jinah will be helping you with, and eventually, you need to figure out where you’ll move after you’re back on your feet since you don’t plan on making staying with your brother permanent, but for now, the biggest hurdle of moving back across the globe has been crossed. 

After your shower, you make note of how your stomach growls, but decide to get a little unpacking done first. You already know that if you don’t at least start, your suitcases may sit in this room for days until you have the willpower to put things away. After digging your discman out of your backpack, you pop in an Aaliyah CD and get to work. 

You only get as far as folding your underwear and bras and putting those in the dresser before you’re stretching out on the bed and telling yourself you’ll only close your eyes for a moment before resuming. 

Your head feels groggy when you open your eyes, sit up, and take in your surroundings. For a moment, you forget where you are, until you remember you’re in your new room in Seoul. Sun shines through the curtains covering your window and you spot your discman on the nightstand next to your head. 

When you poke your head out of your room, you can hear soft sounds from the TV in the living room, but before you investigate, you take a detour to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

“Look who’s returned to the land of the living!” Hansol greets you when you finally make your way into the living room. He’s lounging on the couch, watching a variety show, but quickly gets up to pull you into a hug.

“Hey, Sol. What time is it?”

“Ten.”

“In the morning?!” You blink at the window with the curtains drawn open, frowning at the sunlight coming into the room. “I got in at noon yesterday!”

Hansol chuckles as you plop onto the couch next to him. “Yep. I tried to wake you when I got home yesterday, but you just grumbled at me and turned back over. I put your discman on the nightstand so you wouldn’t knock it off or anything so you’re welcome.” 

“Damn, guess I was just that tired.”

“Yeah, Chan tried to get you up too, but you didn’t budge. He brought dinner home but not even food could get you up.” Hansol laughs, thankfully not noticing the way his words fluster you. The thought of Chan seeing you sprawled out on your bed, mouth likely open as you slept is embarrassing. You quickly have to remind yourself that he is your roommate so he’s bound to see you sleeping and to get over it.

“That explains why it feels like there’s a gaping hole in the pit of my stomach.”

“Don’t worry, there’s leftover pizza in the fridge for you. And I’m sure there’s some other stuff to tide you over until later.”

“Where’s Chan now?”

“Work. Same place I’m about to go. It’s my turn for dinner tonight so I’ll bring chicken home with me.”

“Ugh, I haven’t had good fried chicken since I was in the States and we landed in Atlanta, Georgia for a while.”

“I got you. There’s a really good place not far from the apartment.”

“You’re the best, Sol.”

“I know,” your brother boasts, getting off the couch to stretch. 

“Oh! Mom called last night for you. She’s pissed you didn’t call her when you got here.”

Letting out a groan, you roll your eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. I just didn’t have it in me to listen to her tell me a story that I’ve probably already heard ten times. I’ll call her later after I finish unpacking. I already know she’s gonna want me to come over.”

“Oh, she does. She wants us both over tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?! She didn’t even ask if that works!”

“She didn’t, but that’s because she knows I’m off work tomorrow and in her words, ‘it’s not like your sister has any obligations yet, so you can come over close to lunch.’” 

Hansol’s recounting of your mom’s words forces another eye roll out of you, but you’ll both be there and you already know it.

“I’m running to the bathroom then I’ll get ready to head out. Here, have fun.” He hands you the TV remote before disappearing into the bathroom. 

Before you can get comfortable, you pull your tired body from the couch to grab leftovers and eat before your mom calls again, inevitably nagging you about not calling her earlier.

As expected when you settle back down to call, your mom picks up the phone on the first ring and spends the next ten minutes chastising you for not calling her when you landed. You apologize multiple times, assuring her that both you and Hansol will visit her tomorrow. 

Also as expected she talks your ear off for about twenty minutes, giving you updates that you know she’ll tell you about again tomorrow. Thankfully, the mailman shows up in the middle of another story about the neighbor she’s been having a holiday decoration war with for the last three years in a row so she lets you go, saying she’s happy to see you tomorrow.

Jinah is next on your call list and she also picks up after a few rings, cheering as soon as she hears your voice, celebrating your arrival in Seoul. 

“I’m so happy we’re in the same timezone again!”

“Me too. I don’t even remember the last time we got to sit and chat.”

“I want to say it was when we were both in Spain last year. You had that day-long layover and I was out there for Fashion Week.”

“Oh, you’re right! You met that guy at that mall we went to.”

“Mmm, Ricky! He was so sweet. He still calls me sometimes. I don’t always answer, but he tries.” Jinah giggles, no doubt at some memory of her and the model she easily picked up that day.

She shifts around on the other line. “Oh damn, as much as I want to catch up with you babe, I’m about to head out for a meeting. Can we meet up tomorrow?”

“Yeah, if you can do it late in the afternoon? My mom wants me and Hansol to come over tomorrow. She already chewed my head off for not calling her when I got in.”

“Oh, Mrs. Chwe. Well, after you’re done with family time, let’s meet up! There’s a new bakery that opened in Hongdae that I haven’t tried yet. We can go together since it’s not too far from your parents’ place.”

“Please! I am craving a croissant actually.” Jinah tells you the address which you quickly write down, agreeing to meet tomorrow afternoon.

With that call over, you decide to finally bite the bullet and finish unpacking your things so you can stop thinking about it. It doesn’t take very long, seeing how your whole life was packed away in two suitcases, a backpack, and a purse. You make a mental note to do some decoration shopping for your room once you have the funds and decide to reward yourself with TV time. 

You didn’t get to catch up on many shows always being on the go, so you plan to spend your time now getting in the know and watching as many reruns as you can catch. Among other things, not being in the sky for 90% of your time will offer you the opportunity to take things much slower. You’re used to always either being on a plane, spending a few nights in hotels or short-term rental places, or rushing between all of these destinations, so you plan on doing the complete opposite with your new schedule now.

You’re stretched out on the couch, enjoying an episode of one of the new dramas everyone around you has mentioned when you fall asleep again, your eyelids unable to concentrate for long.

You don’t even realize you’ve fallen asleep until you feel yourself being slightly shaken, your eyes cracking open to see Chan staring down at you. When your eyes finally adjust you get a better look at him and note how handsome he looks in his leather jacket and beanie. Why is that even the first thing you thought?

“Hey, sleepyhead. We’re home and we have dinner.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, fried chicken!” You sit up, groggily rubbing your eyes and you see Hansol coming into the living room, bag in hand.

You step away to freshen up, fixing your hair and splashing some water on your face. Your brother and Chan have already set up the chicken and beer on the coffee table, taking their seats on the floor around the table as Hansol flips through TV channels.

Plopping on the floor across from Chan, Hansol pulls a can of soda out of the bag next to you, sliding it over your way. You eagerly open it, thanking him for remembering your lack of enthusiasm about drinking, and grab a piece of chicken.

“So, Y/n,” Chan starts, his full attention on you. “What brought you back to Seoul? When we talked about you moving in, Hansol told me you wanted to quit and move home, but I didn’t ask why.” 

“I was just ready for something more stable, is all. Traveling the world is fun and I didn’t hate my job - I met a ton of new and interesting people - but at some point, I just got tired of never having a true place that is mine. I mean, I’ve been doing this since I was twenty. There are only so many hotels and rental places a person can do until they get tired of the constant movement.”

“That makes sense. When I went abroad during my first year of college I got super homesick so I ended up coming back. Some of our friends said I was lame for coming back, but I don’t know, I’ve always loved Korea you know? It’s where I grew up and I feel safe and secure here. I guess I just needed time away to decide what I wanted to do.”

You nod along, understanding what he means. You didn’t know too much about Chan after you graduated and left Korea, so it was nice to learn a little more about him.

“I get that, I mean we see I’m back now after all these years. Some people just gravitate back to where they came from.”

“Yeah, I was just surprised when Hansol mentioned you coming back. I remember you being so excited after graduation because you knew what you wanted to do already and I know you just wanted to see something else other than here.” Chan smiles at you gently. The fact that he remembers how you were feeling after graduation is sweet to you.

“I was excited and I don’t regret what I chose to do. It was fun but ended up not being my end-all-be-all, which is okay. But anyway, enough about me! Hansol told me that you own a dance studio?”

“Oh, yeah. I took over my dad’s dance studio. He’s still around, but I own it. We’re talking about expanding and making it an actual dance company. People from all over Korea come to the studio, so if we can find more spaces and good instructors we can open another here and even abroad.”

“That’s amazing, Chan! You always loved to dance. I’m glad you’re able to do it full-time.” The tips of Chan’s ears redden at your compliment and he takes a long swig of his beer. 

“Thanks, Y/n.”

“Of course. I only hope that now that I’m back I can find the next thing that I want to do. My friend Jinah, I don’t know if you guys remember her, but she’s going to get me a job at the modeling agency she works at. It’ll probably just be something in the office until I find something else or figure out my next move.”

“Well, you’ve always been really smart and ambitious so I’m sure you’ll find something you’re good at now that you’re back.”

“Thank you, Chan.” You feel your face heat up at his words.

The two of you seem to share a moment where you both glance down at your food, then back up at each other every few minutes.

Hansol suddenly clears his throat as if reminding you both that he’s sitting right in between you.

“Things at my job are going well thanks for asking.”

You both snap out of whatever that moment was and recover by asking Hansol how he likes his new responsibilities, recalling the raise he got recently at work. Hansol’s worked for the same newspaper company for the past four years and you know he’s done his best to gain a good reputation at the company and that he works hard. 

You do your best to avoid the questioning look he’s passing between the two of you and instead take a big bite of the chicken wing in front of you.

“It’s good. I write movie reviews now which is cool. I get to see a bunch of movies that come out before the general public for free. It’s much better than the random articles they had me working on before this promotion.”

“I’m proud of you, Sol.” You reach over to ruffle his hair with the hand not touching your food, ignoring the groan he lets out at the action. “Maybe one day you can bring your big sister to one of these early movie showings?”

“Tch, good luck. He won’t even bring me,” Chan mumbles, taking another sip of beer.

“I’m watching movies for work, thank you very much.” Hansol rolls his eyes at the way that Chan sticks his tongue out at him playfully. “Speaking of work, Y/n, make sure you let me know soon if Jinah can’t get you into her company. We have some openings that popped up recently and I’m sure I can get you in if you need it.”

“I will. We’re gonna hang out tomorrow after we see Mom and Dad and I’ll ask her more about it then.”

The three of you spend the rest of dinner watching TV and spend more time catching up. Hansol talks about some upcoming articles he has to work on, Chan goes over more plans for expanding his father’s dance studio, and the men both question you about all the places you’ve traveled to and everything you did as a flight attendant. 

After dinner, you help clean up the trash before deciding to go to bed. Your internal clock is still readjusting to a semi-normal schedule, so you need at least a few more days before you can stay up later than 9 PM.

“Goodnight, guys,” You wave at the boys, heading down the hall into your room. You’ll take a shower in the morning - for now, you just want to rest.

Once you’re in your room, the door shut, Hansol eyes Chan as the man casts a few glimpses down the hall. He chuckles, getting his best friend’s attention.

“What?”

“Your crush is still showing, you know.”

Frowning, Chan looks between Hansol and the hallway before fixing his gaze on the TV.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Hansol scoffs at him but drops it. He knows Chan well enough to know when he’s lying through his teeth, but he won’t press it.

“Whatever you say, dude.” Hansol shrugs, announcing that he’s going to get ready for bed too. Chan stays in the living room, staring at the TV for a little while longer, but not taking in the show.

All he can think about is the fact that he is very much still into you and he’s never actually stopped. When Hansol brought up you moving in with them, he had no problem with it. You’re his best friend’s sister who needs help, of course, he wouldn’t say no. Chan figured that it would be nice to get to know you more as an adult since all of the knowledge he has of you is the person you were from middle school to high school and the things he hears Hansol or the Chwes say about what you are doing or where you are.

He knew it would be nice to catch up and spend time with you because you’ve always gotten along and you were always nice to him. He hadn’t expected his decade-old crush to creep back into his heart the moment he laid eyes on you, but it did. Chan doesn’t know what to do with these feelings so for now, he’ll squash them down the same way he has since he was ten. He’s more than used to it by now.

“My Y/n!” 

It’s the first thing out of your mom’s mouth when she opens the front door, sweeping you up into a hug. She rocks you back and forth telling you how much she missed you.

“Wow, she never hugs me like that,” Hansol murmurs behind you as he steps inside and starts taking his shoes off.

“Oh, hush Sollie! I saw you two weeks ago. I haven’t seen your sister in two years!” 

She does end up reaching over to pull Hansol into a hug of his own, once she decides you can breathe again. Your stepdad follows a minute after, hugging you for a much more normal amount of time, but also makes sure to let you know he’s personally offended that you haven’t been home in so long.

As anticipated, your mom has a full spread of food waiting on the table and ushers you and Hansol to sit and eat. Also as expected, she gives you the third degree, wanting to know about your work, your plans, and everything in between, which includes your nonexistent love life. You appease her and keep it short and simple: you’re hearing from Jinah soon about a position, you plan on doing that for at least the next year or two to save up enough money to move into a place of your own, and you’re single and have been for months.

This turns into an almost two-hour visit. If your parents aren’t asking you about your travels or asking Hansol about his job, they’re circling back to you and the fact that ‘now that you’re home and getting situated, you can think about eventually settling down. Since you’re almost thirty.’

You keep to yourself that you have had pretty lackluster luck when it comes to dating overall, but your mom still finds opportunities to sprinkle in that she could ask around to her friends about whose sons may be single, and you tell her you don’t need the help (even though you know she’ll likely do it anyway). 

Eventually, you manage to get your parents to talk about themselves and get them to update you on things in the house they’re fixing up, how your dad is doing at work, and some new crochet projects your mom is working on.

Even though they can smother you at times, you know they both do what they do out of love - especially your mom. You did miss your parents at the end of the day and they mean well. They love you and Hansol and have missed you terribly - the latter a fact that your mom made sure to reiterate over and over again.

Before you leave, your mom repeats how happy she is that you’re back home, especially in time for the holidays, and truthfully, so are you. You love holidays because you love decorating and you love all of the themed things that come with holidays. Hansol mentions that he and Chan have never really worried about decorating their apartment, which you immediately informed him will change this year. You plan on decorating the apartment for Halloween and will turn it into a winter wonderland come November. Your brother knows you well enough not to argue and simply laughs, shrugging and telling you to go crazy.

After you finally manage to escape from your parents’ house, you and Hansol split up. He’s going to meet up with some friends and will meet you at home later, he says. You take a cab for the short ride to the coffee shop you and Jinah are meeting at and you notice you’ve arrived first when you don’t see anyone that resembles her.

You’ve only sat down for less than a minute when she sweeps into the shop with her long coat, big sunglasses, and beanie. She slips the sunglasses down her nose and peers around before meeting your eyes. A smile breaks out across her red-painted lips and she rushes over to you. She looks as pretty as she did growing up and it warms your heart. It makes complete sense that she’s such a prolific model now.

“Y/n!” She says your name when making it to the table and pulling you into a hug.

“Hey, Jinah! It’s so good to see you!”

“You too! It’s been too long and I hate it.” She pouts at you as she moves to her seat, shedding her coat, and hanging it on the back of her chair.

“I know, I know. But I’m here now.”

“You are and you’re gonna get sick of seeing me so much! Especially, if you get a spot at the company! I’m still waiting for my boss to get back to me about your resume.”

“Ugh, I hope it’s soon. I’m not picky about what’s open honestly, I just need something.”

“Well you know I’ll call you as soon as I get some info. I’m sure they’ll hire you. I’m noted as your referral and everyone loves me there!”

Before you dive into more chit chat, you pause the conversation, wanting to order coffee. Jinah takes your order and goes to the counter herself, quickly coming back with two hot cups of caffeine.

“Okay, so no more work talk. How is it living with a couple of twenty-something boys after jetsetting all around the world?”

“Not so bad really. The apartment is surprisingly clean and put together. Me and Hansol have always been close, you know so it’s good so far. And Chan is cool - we’ve always gotten along. He was always around growing up so I’m used to having him in my space anyway. He’s different now of course, but uh, yeah you know.”

You stumble, just slightly on your last sentence and something flashes in Jinah’s eyes, her perfectly waxed brows rising almost immediately. You forgot about the fact that no matter how long you two spend apart, she’s still your best friend and she knows you almost as well as she knows herself.

“He’s different?” There’s a tilt in her voice that you don’t recall having in your words.

“I didn’t say it like that!”

“Yes, the hell you did! He’s different how? All I remember about your brother’s best friend is some skinny, big-headed kid that followed us around at school and whenever I was over your house.”

You bite your lip, assessing Jinah and if there’s any way you can steer the conversation elsewhere. 

No such luck arrives for you though as she sits there, unwavering as she patiently waits for you to tell her the truth. You already know she won’t leave it alone if you don’t.

Begrudgingly, you give in, letting out a heavy sigh. “Fine, whatever, he’s fucking hot now, okay?! I’ve only been there like three days and any time I run into him he’s nothing but polite and considerate. He’s always been nice but he’s mature now. It’s just so different.”

“Hmph. So, you think he’s mature and polite and hot now? Got it.” She nods, taking a sip of her coffee, and swallowing slowly before speaking. “So do you think you’ll finally give him a chance?”

“Absolutely not! He’s younger than me and not only my brother’s best fucking friend but we’re roommates now. The level of messiness went from 80% to 180% if something goes wrong between us.”

“Yeah, but the chances of things going well also go from 80% to 180% too, right?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“But you’re both adults! What does it matter? Do you think Hansol will care?”

“I don’t know. But again, the main problem is if Chan and I only end up being a hookup or one of us wants something that the other doesn’t then living with the man will be incredibly awkward, and once again, he and my brother are best friends. Things won’t only be awkward for us, but I don’t want to drag Sol into that mess either. So it’s in everyone’s best interest that I keep my mouth and my legs closed and don’t even think about trying anything with Chan.”

Jinah hums and clearly disagrees but she doesn’t press it. Not that she has to because just like she knows you, you know her, and you know she has so many objections rattling around in her head.

“Anyway, time to hear about you! Tell me about your love life! Is it busy? Are you seeing anyone? Are you sleeping with anyone? I want to know everything about Im Jinah’s romantic endeavors.”

Your best friend clicks her tongue at you, noticing the obvious conversation redirect, but she obliges. She talks about a guy she’s mentioned to you before that she works with that she’s been on a few dates with. As an aside, she mentions that there are plenty of hot, single people at her company that you’ll run into, but you wave that part off.

She mentions that she needs to go shopping this upcoming weekend for a Halloween costume for a party a friend of hers is throwing at the end of October. She also addsthat you too, will be going to said party with her.

“I am?”

“You are. So, this weekend we’ll be getting costumes. A guy I’ve done a ton of ads and shoots with has a party every year and you’ll be my plus one! He’s super nice and pretty wealthy so his place is really nice.”

You do love Halloween and you haven’t really gotten to do much to celebrate it the last handful of years, so you agree to go, even though you knew she would’ve hounded you about going for days anyway. You saved both of you some trouble.

On the topic of Christmas, the two of you get caught up in talking about needing to figure out what to get people and when to go shopping to get ahead of it. You easily fall into conversation with your best friend, your subject changing every few minutes as you laugh and properly get caught up until you’ve both got two empty coffee cups each.

Eventually, Jinah glances at her watch and curses. 

“Damn, I’ve got another meeting to run to. My manager and I have been meeting with a few magazines for some last-minute holiday ads they want to shoot for. “I’ll be sure to badger her about any news on your resume okay?”

You and Jinah exchange your goodbyes and you promise to chat in a few days if you don’t hear from her sooner. Even though she’s busy, she cites she’ll still be sure to make time for the two of you to hang out more. You both walk out of the shop together and with a goodbye hug, you both go your separate ways. Her to grab a taxi and you to the train station to head back home.

Chan really thought he was done with big life revelations. His last and biggest was deciding that college and a traditional degree weren’t what he wanted. After that, a bunch of smaller decisions hit him but no combination of realizations, big or small, could’ve prepared him for the fact that he’s still hopelessly in love with the same girl for the last almost fifteen years.

But seeing you again was like someone doused him with a gallon of cold water to the face. Shocking and jarring and nothing could’ve prepared him. Not for the way his eyes almost bugged out of his head upon seeing you again after what felt like far too long or the way his palms got sweaty just being close to you, even though he had just finished a shower before seeing you.

Chan was so sure that he was over you. He’s had plenty of partners over the years. Some serious and some not so much, but he doesn’t think he’s ever compared any of those people to you. It’s been years so surely he isn’t still hung up on his best friend’s older sister.

Unfortunately for him, that is exactly what he is and he’s not sure what to do with this information. A tiny voice in the back of his mind keeps telling him he’s a loser for not being over his childhood crush who has never reciprocated the feelings anyway. Never once have you made any indication that you thought of Chan the same, so it’s not as though you’re going to magically do it now…right?

His mind is so wrapped up in you that he keeps fumbling with the moves he practices at work in preparation for a dance class in a few days. He lets out another frustrated huff as he watches himself in the mirror trip over his feet yet again.

Chan’s close friend and co-choreographer at the studio walks over to the boombox at the side of the room, cutting off the music and staring him down.

“Okay, where’s your head, Chan?” Soonyoung looks at him pointedly. “You’ve been distracted since you get here and keep fucking up.” He waits for an answer, hands on his hips. 

Chan hesitates for a moment, wondering if he wants to repeat his early years - where he would tell anyone who would listen that he was in love with Y/n Chwe. This is different though, this is his friend checking on him so he decides to tell Soonyoung.

“The girl I’ve loved since I was ten is back in town.”

“Okay?”

“And I still love her.”

“And? You’re both adults now so you can do something about it right?”

“And she’s living with me. We’re roommates now.”

“And?” Soonyoung rolls his eyes, still not seeing too much of an issue with this.

“She, uh, she’s Hansol’s sister.”

Soonyoung cocks his head to the side in thought. “Okay…well what’s the problem? Hansol is super chill. Do you think he’ll be mad about it?”

“I don’t know. I know Hansol more than almost anybody, but for some reason, I’m still really stressed about how he’ll react.”

“You could always ask him?” Soonyoung tries, offering Chan a bottle of water from the cooler across the room.

“I don’t know. I mean, even if I do and he’s okay with it, what if I ask her out and she says no? She had never liked me like that when we were young. I was always just her brother’s snot-nosed best friend.”

“I get being worried about that, but you’re grown now. Maybe things can be different?”

“Yeah, but if she turns me down, I don’t want to make things awkward for us all living together. And even if I am in some bizarre universe where she is into me too, I could very well fuck this up and she’ll want nothing to do with me and we’ll break up and it’ll still be awkward and then Hansol could not want to be my friend anymore or want me to move out and then what?” Chan ends his rant with a grunt, sliding against the mirror until he plops onto the hardwood floor. Soonyoung comes over and joins him, sitting cross-legged next to his friend.

“This has really been on your mind huh?”

“Hard for it not to be when she is as beautiful as always and sleeping in the room right next to me now.”

“Well, even though I’ve never been through something like this, my advice? Maybe try to just take it slow. Hang out with her more, test the waters, and see if she reciprocates. If so, then either keep getting closer or ask her out and go from there. What’s the point in constant what-ifs you know? Maybe you’re getting a second chance now that you’re both adults and in good places in your life. And sure you might fuck it up, but you also might not. You’ll never know if you don’t try.” Soonyoung shrugs, taking a gulp of water.

Chan side-eyes his friend, genuinely surprised at his words. 

“Since when did you turn into a relationship expert with actual good advice?”

Soonyoung chokes on his water, coughing loudly to recover. “What do you mean actual good advice?! I give good advice all the time!”

“Tsk, just like that so-called, good advice you gave me that one time we went to the club and you told me I should start a dance battle with that girl that was flirting with me?”

The man looks genuinely offended, hand flying to his chest in surprise. 

“First of all, I was drunk! Second of all, that was a good idea. She said she liked dancers!”

“Yeah, but I think she meant slow, sensual dancing like we had been doing all night before you swooped in with your so-called, good advice.”

“Whatever! Don’t take my advice and pine over this woman for another decade. Just decide so you can stop fucking up this dance!” Soonyoung pushes him over, making him land on his side, but the push is more playful than anything.

While Soonyoung may not have a great track record of steering Chan in the right direction, he mulls it over for the rest of the day after getting back to practicing. He ultimately decides that maybe Soonyoung is right. He won’t do anything weird or out of the ordinary. He’ll just be himself and try to spend more time with you and hopefully be able to show you the real him. The him that’s a mid-twenties career man with a plan and a future, who’s much more mature than from when you used to know him. 

If he’s lucky, he won’t make a fool out of himself and if you’re not into him still, you’ll at least let him down gently. If he’s super lucky, you’ll feel the same way about him and he’ll finally get to call you his.

He’s not going to hold his breath, but he’ll regret it once again if he doesn’t at least try with you, unlike he failed to do when he was young and dumb.

Getting the call three days later from Jinah that you got a job at her agency was the best news you’ve gotten in a very long time. Her boss manages to get you a role in their travel department. You’d be working with the assistants of the models to help get their travel booked, manage their transportation, and help arrange all things travel related. While you don’t have any office experience, your flight attendant experience seems to be enough to get you into the role and you weren’t about to argue with that.

As soon as you start, you consider yourself lucky that you seem to fall into the team you’re on easily. It’s not difficult to get comfortable and find your place which makes getting settled all that much simpler. Plus, the pay is decent, and even a little more than what you previously made, so you can’t complain about that.

Jinah uses the Halloween party she told you about as an excuse to go out with you again and an excuse to celebrate your job. Hansol and Chan had already gotten you a small cake to celebrate which was extremely sweet, so you don’t mind celebrating with Jinah. 

The cake, you learn in passing from Hansol, was Chan’s idea. It’s only one thing on the long list of ways that Chan has succeeded in getting closer to you over the weeks that it takes you to get settled in. You’ve spent time with Chan as a kid when he was around all the time, but you really get the chance to know him now that you’re adults living together.

You learn most, if not all of his likes and dislikes. His favorite colors, favorite foods, movies he likes, and celebrities he can’t stand (his one-sided rivalry with Lee Byunghun is especially funny to you since he also compliments his acting whenever one of his movies is on). He’s constantly making you laugh, always asking how your day was when you see each other in the evenings, and he always says good morning and asks how you slept when you get up for the day. On nights when he has to get dinner for you all, he always asks if there’s any food you're craving because he promises he’ll pick it up or make it (and he always does every time). 

On the weekends, when you’re home relaxing and sleeping in, and if he works, he has started to call home often and ask if you need him to grab anything on the way home, be it medicine, food, a video rental, or anything in between. Chan makes it a habit to check in with you even more than your brother, which Hansol calls out one night over dinner. Chan’s cheeks go red and he throws a wayward shrimp at his best friend but doesn’t deny it, citing that he just wants to help you be comfortable.

If he isn’t checking on you or buying you small things, he’s making sure your laundry is washed if he’s doing his and that your favorite mug (the yellow one with the fried eggs print all over it) is always washed. He makes sure your favorite snacks are in the apartment and that you’re never without anything you need - even finding out your preferred brand of tampons and pads and wordlessly getting them for you.

By the time the end of October rolls around, you’ve been living with Chan and your brother for a month and your feelings for Chan are only growing, much to your utter dismay. You don’t want to like him, for the multitude of reasons you’ve already outlined in your head and to Jinah, but he makes it damn near impossible. If he’s not being the most sweet and polite man you’ve ever been around, he’s walking around the apartment shirtless from time to time or coming back from the gym or work sweaty and flushed with his arms on display.

He constantly treats you like a true gentleman would, carrying groceries for you and doing any heavy lifting around the apartment that comes up. It may be the bare minimum, but Chan treats you better as someone you’re not dating than anyone you actually have dated. You’re in a constant battle between your coochie and your heart about your array of feelings for Lee Chan and it’s only serving to drive you crazier each day. 

On the night of Halloween, when Jinah is in your room with you getting ready for her friend’s party, she teases that Chan may not be able to hold himself back when he sees you.

“I don’t know, Y/n. Your ass does look really good in this jumpsuit.” You admire your figure in your mirror, admiring how the soft yet clingy fabric does, in fact, do your ass justice.

You and Jinah decided to go with a theme for your costumes. She’s going as an angel, complete with a white mini-dress, wings, and a halo. You went with a devil, the red, clingy jumpsuit you wear hugs every part of your body that you’d wanna show off and the zipper in the front is open just enough to accentuate your cleavage. The horns attached to the headband on your head sit comfortably and are the finishing touch.

Yes, you’re not supposed to want Chan to like you because it’ll make it that much harder for you, but you don’t mind the idea of him looking.

“Ready?” You ask when you’re finally done with your makeup, making sure your red lipstick is perfect.

“Yep! Let me call a car for us!” You and Jinah leave your room and she fishes her Nokia from her white bag. 

When you step into the living room, you nearly trip over your feet upon seeing Chan lounging on the couch, flipping through TV channels. You know he and Hansol are also going out tonight to their friend Junhui’s Halloween party, but you hadn’t discussed your costumes. 

His black t-shirt is as tight as your jumpsuit is and displays every muscle and ripple in his arms and chest and you even swear you can make out the faint outline of his abs. The black pants he wears are baggy since he’s dressed as a firefighter, but the fabric stretches over his thighs as he spreads his legs, and the suspenders that keep those pants up stir something feral within you. It takes every ounce of willpower not to go over and mount yourself in his lap right then and there.

Chan notices you both come in and hurries to sit up, making room on the couch for you. He seems to take notice of your costume and you watch as his eyes sweep over you from head to toe, unabashed and almost forgetting (or uncaring) that you can see him checking you out.

“Hey! You, uh, you look amazing.” He blurts, eyes still locked onto you. Jinah clears her voice from next to you and Chan seems to then remember that someone else is in the room. “Er, ah, you both do!” He adds, eyes flickering to your best friend who just snorts.

“Thanks, Chan. Our ride is here though, so I do have to steal her away now.”

“Ah, okay. Sure. I’ll see you later tonight, Y/n. Have fun and you both stay safe, okay?”

You nod, telling him to do the same. You catch sight of your brother as you and Jinah are on your way to the door. His Ghostface robe drags on the carpet as he comes down the hall.

Once you and Jinah slide into the car, and she gives the driver the address, she gives you a look.

“Don’t,” you say, stopping her before she can say what you already know she will.

“What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’?”

“Don’t say it.”

“Don’t say what? That Chan got real-time tunnel vision checking you out in your costume and that he forgot I was even in the room.”

“Yes, that! Don’t say that!”

She shrugs, reaching into her bag and pulling out her compact to check her reflection.

“Okay. I won’t say it. I don’t really need to since you know.”

You did, of course, you did. You could feel the heat in his gaze when he looked at you, but you remind yourself that you can’t do anything more than look. Maybe if you’re lucky, someone at this party can distract you.

Truth be told, when you longed for someone at this party to distract you from Chan, you were only putting it into the universe and just keeping your fingers crossed. You didn’t think you’d actually find someone else to catch your interest. You didn’t anticipate that Jinah’s model friend that owns the large, expertly decorated house would take an interest in you, and yet he did the moment you met him.

“Minhyuk, this is my best friend, Y/n! Y/n, this is Lee Minhyuk. Y/n just moved back to Seoul after traveling for work.”

Minhyuk wastes no time in bowing to you before grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on the top of it.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/n. Any friend of Jinah is a friend of mine.” The handsome man smiles widely at you, making you swoon on the spot. “Especially a friend as stunning as you.”

One look at this buff, beautiful man with perfect hair, perfect teeth, and a perfect face and you’re not surprised in the slightest that he’s a model. You’re sure he can get any woman that he wants and that his charms work on anyone he flashes a brilliant smile to. You’re annoyed that he’s having the same effect on you the more he talks to you and stays by your side for the first hour of the party. You chalk it up to having been single for so long and on your repressed desire for Chan, but you let Minhyuk flirt with you and drape his arm over your shoulder as he asks you about your flight attendant days.

Jinah stays with you both for a while after introducing you, but when it seems obvious that Minhyuk is making heart eyes at you, she excuses the two of you momentarily, pulling you aside.

“Hey, are you okay?!” She says as best as she can in your ear. The music from the sound system in the next room is quieter in the dining room you’re standing in, but is still turned up to a booming volume.

“Yeah, I’m good!”

“You sure? He’s hitting on you pretty hard. He’s a good guy but say the word and we’re out of here.” You mull your next words and decisions over, ultimately deciding to stay and see where things go with Minhyuk. You had asked the universe for a distraction on your way and here it is so why pass it up?

“I’m sure. If I need you or want out, I’ll tell you.” Jinah gives you another firm look before relenting and going with you back to Minhyuk’s side.

An hour later Minhyuk offers to show you around his house. Jinah stares at you, trying to gauge your reaction. You’re sure this will end up with the two of you somewhere in this house, presumably naked, but you decide that’s exactly what you need.

Minhyuk keeps his arm draped over your shoulders as she gives you a tour of his house, avoiding all of the drunken party goers and horny couples making out as you go. Almost every room in his house has people packed into it. His den, his game room, his second living room, and all four of his guest rooms. The only room that has no one else in it is his bedroom which is where you ultimately end up.

“Your house is very fancy,” you compliment, looking around his bedroom. The bed is bigger than even some of the hotel beds you’ve slept in. The duvet is soft under your palms as you sit on the edge and lean back on your hands. Art hangs on the walls and he has two dressers that you can see. You can’t see into the bathroom across the room, but the tub you catch sight of has to be able to fit at least four people.

“Thank you, I’m glad you like it. How’s the bed?” Minhyuk smirks at you from across the room, leaning against a tall dresser. The scrubs of his doctor costume are standard, save for the fact that the top is sleeveless. He crosses his arms and you see how every muscle flexes and twitches under his tan skin

“Mmm, it’s pretty soft. Your duvet is nice.” You cross and uncross your legs, watching as the model follows your movements with his eyes. 

“Yeah? The sheets are even better.”

“You don’t say?”

“Yeah. They’re real silk. And temperature controlled so they’re the perfect coolness and won’t make you hot.” As he speaks he stalks towards you, tossing aside the surgical mask that has been hanging under his chin since you met him.

“Oh? They sound expensive.”

“They are. And they feel like a cloud. Wanna feel them?” Minhyuk is standing in front of you now, his knee resting against the edge of the bed between your legs, waiting for your next words.

You don’t leave him waiting for long, as you breathe out an “I’d love to,” and he immediately bends forward, hands grabbing your face to pull you into a heated kiss. Your hands reach out to grasp at his arms, nails lightly digging into the firm flesh.

Minhyuk grunts into your mouth, fully climbing onto the bed to hover over your body. One hand stays on your cheek while the other travels down your body, grabbing and squeezing as he settles on your hip. 

His tongue slips into your mouth when you separate your lips to take in a breath. Your bodies move together as you shuffle backward up the bed a little, giving him more room to drape his body over yours and kneel between your legs. He presses his pelvis forward, the movement causing him to brush against you, the clothed tip of his hardening length grazing your crotch.

The sensation makes him groan and pause for a moment, his tongue and body stilling. A jolt of confidence rushes over you, making you shift underneath him and flip him onto his side. You quickly push him all the way onto his back and crawl into his lap.

“Mmm maybe I like this view more than you under me,” he mumbles, admiring the new position. He only gets a moment to take it in before you’re leaning down to kiss him again, your fingers brushing through his dark hair. Minhyuk’s hands move down your back to grip your ass.

Your make out session lasts for a few minutes, your mind finally slipping away from everything else that has been tumbling around in your brain. At some point, Minhyuk pulls away with a gasp and quickly peels his top off, tossing it aside before leaning back and letting you ogle him.

Your mouth drops at the sight of him, all chiseled muscle and rippling abs. You gawk for only a moment before your brain decides to remind you of the way that Chan looks without a shirt. He’s also muscular but in a much softer way. Chan’s abs are lightly defined and his pecs are still visible. You also always find your way back to thinking of that day when he had just gotten out of the shower, of the small happy trail that runs down, down, down to where you can’t see. You wonder how soft that dusting of hair is.

Minhyuk momentarily pushes away your Chan imagery when he reaches up to grab your face to pull you back down to kiss him again. Your hands stretch out to steady yourself, finding purchase on his biceps. The hard muscles twitch under your fingers and you squeeze in return. Immediately, you’re reminded of how soft Chan’s biceps and arms are. 

A week ago the two of you had run into each other in the hallway of the apartment. You were leaving when he was rounding the corner, coming back from the gym. He had a tank top on and when he appeared in front of you, you both jumped, yelping in surprise. You had reached your hands out by instinct, with the intention of doing what you’re not sure, but when you noticed it was Chan at the last minute your hands unfurled from fists and gripped his arms to steady yourself. 

His arms were built, but still so soft and smooth under your hands. That feeling has stayed with you even now as you think about Chan and his arms while another man is kissing your neck.

All of a sudden, you wonder what it would feel like if Chan was the one that was under you and if he was the one whose lips were pressing kisses on your throat instead.

Minhyuk’s fingers walk their way to the front of your jumpsuit and he flicks at the zipper that keeps your outfit secure. Before he has a chance to unzip it, his bedroom door bursts open and a woman stands in the doorway, yelling his name angrily.

The intrusion makes you jump, jerking too far back and toppling backward onto the floor.

“Shit, Y/n! You okay?!” Minhyuk jumps up and offers you his hand, being nice enough to at least check on you.

“Minhyuk, what the fuck?!” The woman screeches again, stomping over to him and shoving his chest. “I’ve been walking around this stupid party looking for you for like half an hour! You invited me tonight just to run off and fuck someone else?!” 

“Hyoseong, I’m sorry, I-” Hyoseong cuts him off by shoving him backward, making him lose his balance and fall back onto the bed. He’s too close to the corner of the bed though, because he keeps going and falls back off the side, yelping the whole time.

Hyoseong smirks, satisfied as she watches him before turning her gaze to you still standing there awkwardly. The flame in her eyes diminishes and is replaced with concern. 

“He’s not worth it, I promise. All he knows how to do is fuck every girl he looks at and lead you on!” She screams that last part at him before turning and storming back out of the room. 

Embarrassment is written all over Minhyuk’s face as he scrambles up and gives you a sheepish smile. He opens his mouth to say something, but you speak first.

“Don’t even try it.” You stick your palm out at him, stopping him from responding.

He listens, not saying anything as you leave the room and beeline back downstairs in search of Jinah. You find her in the kitchen talking to a few other girls and when she sees you, she immediately rushes over to you, worry written all over her face. You reassure her that you’re okay and tell her about Hyoseong and she gasps.

“Fuck, I thought they broke up! Ugh, Y/n, I’m so sorry. I’ll go kick his ass right now!” She looks over your shoulder for him, but you stop her. This is clearly a story you’ll have to ask her about on another day. Right now, all you want to do is go home, shower, and flop into bed.

She doesn’t let you convince her to stay and have fun and is already calling a car for you both. You ride together and you tell her what was going through your head when you were hooking up with Minhyuk and she just nods, letting you pour out your garbled thoughts.

Of course, her response is to act on these feelings, but you quickly shut that down, reminding her of the list of reasons that you cannot act on said feelings. As she’s gotten accustomed to doing, she rolls her eyes and tells you that you’re thinking too much into this.

The conversation dies when you pull up at home, thanking her for the ride and hurrying out before she can keep bringing it up.

Chan is fucked. That’s all he thinks when he and Hansol get to Junhui’s party. Ever since you left, all that his brain plays on a loop is you in that red jumpsuit. It is long sleeved and the bottom of the pants are flared, but the fabric hugs you in every way imaginable. The only things he wanted to look at was the curve of your hips, the swell of your breasts, and the way it framed your ass as you left. 

He knows that the image of you in that costume is all he’ll think about for not only the rest of the night but quite possibly for the rest of his life. He did his very best not to make it obvious he was checking you out, but in his defense, he swears he also saw your eyes stay too long on his chest and his thighs. 

As the month has ticked by living with you, Chan has only fallen for you even more than he thought was possible. Everything you do and say makes his heart race. Every time he sees you, he wants to hold and kiss you, no matter what time of day it is. You look just as beautiful waking up as you do going to sleep. 

He’s whipped and he hasn’t even told you that he’s still in love with you.

He knows he only has eyes for you because he spends the first hour of the party talking with his friends and sipping on a drink, but he still keeps going back to you in his mind. He knows he is especially hopeless when a cute girl approaches him and asks him to dance. He forgets her name as soon as she says it (Yerim maybe?) and even though she looks incredibly sexy in her little black dress and cat ears, the only thing Chan can see is you when he closes his eyes.

Even when she drags him to the living room to dance and presses her body close to his, he wishes it was you that was rubbing your ass against his crotch. Chan wonders what you’re doing right now and if you’re dancing with someone else just like this. He beats himself up at the thought, chiding himself for not asking you to come to this party instead or even to stop by after the one you’re at now. Even though Jinah asked you to her friend’s party first, he still should’ve brought it up, but he was too nervous you’d turn him down. He hates the idea of you looking that stunning and having other people look at you or touch you. He wants you so bad, in any way you’ll have him, and he doesn’t care how pathetic that sounds.

The cat girl seems to take notice that Chan is distracted as his arms lay limp on her hips. She turns around, draping her arms around his neck and pressing her tits against his chest. Her wide brown eyes blink up at him and her black painted lips curl up in a smile. She’s really cute, Chan can admit - like really cute - but she’s also not you. Before he can think anymore, she’s on her tiptoes, placing a kiss on his lips. 

Any other time, he doesn’t think he’d turn down a cute girl that is so obviously into him and he certainly wouldn’t turn away from a kiss, but this time is different. This time, Chan only thinks of you and wishes this was you. That’s why he doesn’t make much effort to kiss her back. Not a single spark pops between him and the cat girl. She quickly gets tired of his lack of enthusiasm, soon pulling away and turning in a huff to leave him standing in the middle of the living room. 

Chan watches her go, his eyes looking around the room and it hits him how much he doesn’t actually want to be here. He’d much rather be back at home, sitting on the couch with you watching late night sitcoms like the two of you have fallen into the habit of doing. 

He’s only at the party for a couple of hours, before he finds Hansol in the kitchen, letting him know that he doesn’t feel very party-like anymore and decides to go home. Hansol is right in the middle of racing with their friend Seokmin, trying to shotgun a beer faster than him, but when he wins, he gives Chan his attention.

“Are you sure? You want me to go with you?”

“Nah, I’m good. Stay. I’m just gonna shower and probably chill.”

“Alright, dude. Can you just keep an eye out for Y/n when you get back?”

Hansol doesn’t have to ask twice. Even if he hadn’t asked once, Chan would’ve looked out for you anyway. It’s why after he’s showered and gotten a snack, he goes to the couch instead of his bed. He assumes you won’t be home until it’s late, but if he’s lucky he’ll catch a glimpse of you before you go to bed and will make sure you’re safe.

He’ll also get one more look at your costume which isn’t as important as making sure you’re safe, but it’s absolutely something he’s looking forward to.

When you get home, you’re surprised to see that the TV in the living room is on. When you round the corner you see Chan sitting on the couch, under a blanket with popcorn in hand and eyes wide in surprise at seeing you.

“Hey, Y/n! You’re home early.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t really feeling like being at a party anymore. Too people-y. I’m surprised you’re here though.”

Chan shrugs, “I guess I wasn’t feeling like being at a party either.”

You hum, glancing at the space on the couch he makes for you. “I’m gonna shower and put on my pajamas. Mind if I hang out here with you when I’m done? I’m not that tired yet.”

“Yeah! I mean, uh, yeah of course you can.” He clears his throat, eyes still flickering between you and the TV.

“Great. I’ll be quick and then we can watch a movie?” Chan nods and shamelessly watches you go when you hurry down the hall and into the bathroom. 

You remove your makeup and shower faster than you think you ever have, eager to spend the evening with Chan.

Once your most comfortable pajamas are on, you join him, plopping next to him on the couch. 

“So, what’re we watching?”

“Scream?”

“Oh, yes! Both of them?”

“Sure.” 

Chan starts the movie already in the VCR and passes you the bowl in his hands which you eagerly accept. As the movie goes on, you both start on your respective sides of the couch. It isn’t until you’re halfway through the first movie that you have half a mind to notice that your leg brushes against Chan’s each time you adjust. At first, you jump at the contact, and he seems to as well, both of you shifting away embarrassedly.

That only lasts for a small amount of time though, because by the end of the movie, you’re both close again and the bowl of popcorn you’ve been sharing is empty. After Chan gets up and puts in the second movie, he comes back to the couch and sits down, this time close enough that your thighs touch and neither of you moves.

You continue to stay close to one another as you watch the movie and eventually, you’re so close that you’re practically cuddling. You’re not, but you may as well. Seeing how at some point, you end up falling asleep with your head on Chan’s shoulder and his arm draped around your waist.

You only know this to be the case when you’re woken up sometime later, Hansol’s voice rousing you out of your sleep. When you open your eyes, the first thing you see is Ghostface staring down at you, causing you to scream, jolting into Chan’s lap and making the man jolt awake too. His eyes meet Ghostface standing in front of you both, also making him shriek and grasp onto you for protection.

Hansol lets out a chuckle, and lifts the mask, taking in the terror written on his roommates’ faces. 

“It’s just me.”

“Jesus, Sol! You could’ve taken the damn mask off before you scared the shit out of us.”

You toss a pillow at him, hitting him in the gut, but he doesn't flinch. 

“Nah this was more fun.” He dodges the second pillow that Chan tries to smack him with and says goodnight to you both as he sprints down the hall.

Once he’s gone, you both realize that you’re still partially in Chan’s lap and he still has an arm around you. You sit up quickly, sharing an awkward laugh with him as you get up, announcing that you’ll start to clean up. Chan helps and you tidy up the living room and cut the TV off, refolding the blanket you shared and saying goodnight before you go your separate ways to your rooms. 

Your words are awkward, but neither of you can get over how warm and right it felt being so close. You tell yourself to forget it as you get into bed, reminding yourself that you can’t do that again.

Meanwhile, Chan can’t help but wonder if you’re thinking about him too, just like he’s thinking about you and the way you smell and how much he wants to hold you like that again one day.

He’s not sure if that’ll be a reality for him, but he can only hope so.

November is halfway over when you think that maybe you can finally, fully and unabashedly admit that you like Lee Chan. After Halloween night when you fell asleep together, you’ve only been spending more time with him and getting to know more about him. The problem is, the more you get to know Chan, the more you’re unable to ignore the rapidly growing crush on him.

You want to date him and have sex with him and kiss him. You want to hold his hand when you're grocery shopping or if you’re both in the same room. You want to hug him when you’re sitting next to each other on the couch or on the floor. You want to sleep in the same bed with him, cuddle against his chest, and wake up next to him the following morning.

You admit this to Jinah one day over lunch and she isn’t the least bit surprised. She’s stopped being so enthusiastic about you admitting your feelings for and to Chan, but you already know that’s what she wants to tell you to do whenever you talk about him or she sees you looking at him if you’re all in the same room.

It gets worse when you and Chan spend a day together decorating the apartment for Christmas. He helps you get the tree - a small plastic, realistic looking one since none of you want to deal with the work of a real one - decorate it, and hang up other decorations around the apartment. It all feels so incredibly domestic, similar to all of the cheesy rom coms you’ve had to watch on long flights around this time of year. Of course Hansol is there helping too, but he doesn’t seem to get in between the two of you when you stand too close or reach for the same ornaments. 

Well, it’s more likely that he literally doesn’t even notice, but it’s still very cozy and special nonetheless. 

Either way, Chan only continues to prove himself as the sweetest, most caring man you’ve ever been around and it’s only serving to stoke the fire that is your feelings for him. It was getting harder and harder to separate those feelings until you simply can’t deny them anymore. 

You’re not alone in this want and desire. Every day that Chan has to see you and spend time with you, he only falls for you more. He thought his feelings were rough to grapple with when he was a kid, but this is different. Now that he’s spent so much time with you as adults, getting to know any and everything about you, it only cements his love for you into his heart.

This only makes things harder for him. He’s been trying to take Soonyoung’s advice and show more of the true him to you and he can’t tell if it’s working or not. You seem to enjoy being around him and he knows that at times he’s seen your eyes stray over his body. It’s not enough to make him brave enough to make any moves yet, but he thinks about it constantly. What if he’s reading the signals wrong? What if you’re just really nice and a good roommate and you don’t feel anything remotely romantic for him?

It’s that doubt and fear that has him keeping his mouth shut. Instead, he just constantly thinks about every part of you that he likes (which is everything, to be honest). He thinks about how pretty you are and how soft your skin is. He’s been lucky enough to accidentally knock into you or brush arms or thighs on occasion and every time he feels electricity throughout his body. He constantly thinks about how good you smell and how he can rank a list of all of his favorite outfits that you own. He thinks about your smile and your laugh and the way your expressions change when you experience different emotions.

Lee Chan is in love with you. Always has been and at this rate, probably always will be. He wants to be with you in every way possible. You’re always on his mind, but when he’s in bed, with only a single wall separating you both, he can’t help but think of other things that he likes about you.

Like how pretty your lips are when he sees you wrap them around a bottle or lick stray food from your fingers. Or how tempting your legs look when the heat in the apartment is a little too warm and you wear small sleep shorts. Or even the sound of your voice when you talk to him. He can imagine so easily how soft and breathy your voice could sound while you say his name if he was between your legs in either your bed or his.

Chan thinks about all of these things so much more when he wraps his hand around his aching cock and jerks off, wishing that it was your hand, or mouth, or pussy around him instead. He thinks about how much he’d love to watch you fall apart for him and only him. 

When he cums all over himself with a whisper of your name on his lips, he starts to feel a little guilty for thinking of you like this but reminds himself that it’s just fantasies and he’s not acting on anything.

Little does he know that you want him to act on all of those things and more. He’s on your mind most nights too and you can’t help but slip your fingers between your legs. You think about his laugh and his wonderful smile and how high pitched his moans probably are and how stunning you know he’d look under you while you ride him. When your fingers are buried inside of yourself knuckle deep, you want so badly for it to be him and his fingers or his cock. 

You have similar conflicting feelings after you fall apart, biting down on your lip to stop from crying his name. Guilt washes over you after the orgasm haze lifts and you scold yourself for thinking of him like this when you specifically tell yourself not to. That lasts for a bit until you remind yourself that it’s not like you can act on any of these fantasies so they’re better off as just that.

It's Thursday when snow starts to fall and cover the city of Seoul. You don’t mind too much. You can’t remember the last time you were in a place where you’d have the potential of a snowy Christmas, so you weren’t complaining too much.

Saturday is when the snow stops and sits on the ground like a fresh blanket. Your original plan is to lounge around the apartment and enjoy a day of nothing, the book you’ve been meaning to finish in hand when the phone rings. Your plans are rerouted when Hansol announces that you’re all going ice skating. Seungkwan and his partner want to go to the new outdoor skating rink that recently opened, but they want to invite all of you. You’re prepared to turn down the invitation because you’re cozy and you don’t even know how to skate, until Chan, who’s on the couch next to you playing his Game Boy, looks up and nods. He gives you a sidelong glance to see what your answer will be. The excited look on his face is enough for you to agree.

Half an hour later the three of you are in Hansol’s car and driving to the rink. Seungkwan and his partner are there when you arrive along with their other friend Seokmin who you recognize a little but from high school. Everyone eagerly lines up at the booth to get their rental skates and you lag behind. Chan notices and moves to stand next to you, asking if you’re okay.

“I’m fine I just, I don’t actually know how to skate.”

“Wait, really? Why didn’t you mention that earlier?”

You shrug, taking a step as the line moves. “I don’t know. Everyone seemed excited to come so I didn’t wanna ruin it.” That’s partially true. You also just wanted to spend time with him, but you keep that to yourself.

“Well don’t worry, I’ll help you.”

“Ah, you don’t have to-” 

“Nope. I wasn’t asking! I’m telling you that I’ll help.” He gives you a wide smile that makes you melt just as fast as the snow piled under your feet.

When it’s finally your turn for your skates, you ask for your size and Chan insists on paying for your rental with his, ignoring how many times you object. He leads you both to a bench on the side of the rink and helps you lace up your skates. Once they’re on and secure, you adjust your scarf and gloves and wait for him to finish putting his on.

Chan stands first and offers you his gloved hand which you take without much thought. Slowly, he leads you to the entrance of the rink, letting you slowly step out as he skates backward. As soon as your foot makes contact with the ice you almost feel your balance give out, but Chan keeps a strong grip on your hands, helping keep you upright.

“I won’t let you fall. Promise.” He smiles at you again, this time soft and warm and the gesture feels like a comforting hug. 

You and Chan do an entire lap around the rink, albeit slowly, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Hansol has already passed you both numerous times, as has Seungkwan, but Chan doesn’t pay them any mind. All of his attention is locked on you and only you.

You manage to do a few more laps, your legs feeling more confident each time. Chan keeps skating backwards with his hands on you, the two of you falling into conversation and laughing the more comfortable you get with him ferrying you around the ice.

Things are going well. Your time with him feels so incredibly right. He seems to be enjoying it too because at some point he shortens the gap between both of you and moves his hands from around yours to your forearms, your biceps, and eventually, his hands are around your waist and yours are draped over his shoulder. The closeness is not exactly normal for two roommates who  are not romantically involved, but neither of you moves away.

Your cheeks, nose, and lips are so cold that eventually, you’re ready to call for a break, but then you notice how close Chan is and how red his lips are. He looks cold too and you wonder what will happen if you lean forward and close the already lessening gap. 

Chan’s eyes flicker up from your feet to your eyes, and then your lips. You hold your breath in that moment and look between his lips and his eyes. Something between the two of you stirs and you swear you see him inching his face closer and closer. 

Before you can finally kiss Chan like you’ve been daydreaming about for the past 2 and a half months, you shift on your left foot which proves to be a horrible idea. You’re falling backward faster than you and Chan can register. You attempt to put your hands back to break your fall which helps because you don’t fall on your ass but you do land on your left wrist with more force than you thought. A sharp, shooting pain runs from your wrist to your elbow making you yelp in pain.

“Y/n!” Chan drops to his knees to check on you and Hansol is at your side in seconds. 

“I’m okay, I think I fucked up my wrist though.” They both help you up, each man on either side of you to get you off of the ice. They sit you on a bench and Chan takes off your skates, then his before sprinting to the bench you both started at that still has your boots.

The rest of your group joins you to check in and you notice a few other skaters looking in your direction. In between the pain in your wrist, you feel utter mortification at all of the attention and the way that you busted your ass in front of everyone. Especially given the fact that you swear that you were so close to kissing Chan.

When he comes back with your boots, Chan helps you stand up and announces that he and Hansol will take you to the hospital. You try to object, but they don't want to hear it.

So, you end your day sitting in the hospital getting a wrist brace put on. The doctor says it’s only a mild sprain and all you need to do is wear your brace and use your wrist as little as possible for at least two weeks and you should be just fine. 

Even though Chan is in the room when the words “mild sprain” leave the doctor’s mouth, he still treats you as if you have two broken legs and a concussion. He insists on helping you out of the hospital and car and into the apartment. When you sit on the couch he makes sure to prop the throw pillows up under your arm to keep your wrist elevated. 

“Chan, my arm won’t fall off.”

“I know, but the doctor recommended keeping it elevated, remember? Now are you hungry? I think we have some leftovers, or if you want me to go out and grab something I can.” He stares at you concerned, waiting for your next order.

Shaking your head you slide over on the couch and gesture to the cushion. “Chan, I promise I’m fine. All I need is for you to sit down and just relax. I ruined skating so try and enjoy the rest of your Saturday.”

“Hey, you didn’t ruin anything! It was an accident. I’m just happy you’re okay.” Chan’s hand lifts and hovers over your good hand sitting on the cushion between the two of you. It’s only for a second because he seems to rather quickly decide against it, letting his hand land in his lap.

He doesn’t think you notice, but you do and it stings, just a little. 

Despite the awkwardness that lingers now and again between you and Chan over the next week, he still insists on taking care of you. He ignores your protests for the first two days, so you end up just giving in. You let him do any simple lifting around the apartment, even going as far as to carry your food for you at mealtimes. He’s already been doing a lot of small favors and nice things for you, but he does it even more as your wrist heals. It’s both overwhelming and the most flattering thing anyone has ever done for you.

It’s not helping your emotional battle with your feelings for him in the slightest, but you’re ready to give up and accept it. You’re not sure if he feels the same or not. He was the first to initiate what you truly thought was about to be a kiss at the skating rink, but since that failed spectacularly, you feel like he’s also pulling away a little bit. To you, your relationship has only deepened since you moved in and you two were becoming closer and closer. Now though, even though he practically waits on you hand and foot, he still does it in the most platonic way possible, if that’s even possible. So, feelings you harbor for him aside, you’re stuck holding them to yourself in a vice grip.

Working with your wrist sprained is annoying, to say the least. Your role involves computer and phone usage which isn’t impossible, it just makes you a little slower at doing your day to day since everything has to be done with one hand.

When you hit the middle of your second week in the brace, you feel like your wrist will heal closer to the two weeks. That means that if you’re lucky, you only have three days left to suffer in the brace. You wonder if that means things between you and Chan will continue to change even further, but do your best to fight the spiral you’re about to go on. You’re just happy work is done for the day and you can relax.

“Sol!” When you walk into the apartment it’s the first thing you yell out, waiting for your brother to answer.

“Yeah?”

“Did I get a package today?!” Your very first set of business cards that your boss ordered for you a few weeks ago were supposed to arrive today. Hansol stayed home due to a stomach bug, so he was responsible for getting the mail. It wasn’t anything particularly fun, but you were still excited for your own business cards nonetheless.

“That depends; did you pick up the medicine I asked you to get?” He calls back. You roll your eyes as you kick your shoes off and gently remove your crossbody bag. 

“And what if I said I didn’t? What’re you gonna do? Hold my package for ransom in your room?”

“Maybe. Or I hid it somewhere in the apartment and now you have to play hide and seek for it.” He chuckles.

“Hansol Vernon Chwe, if you don’t give me my mail, I will literally take your Game Boy and shove it up my - oh.” Your threat to Hansol vanishes the second you turn the corner into the living room and see a man on your couch that you don’t know. A handsome man at that. 

A very handsome man.

“What was that?” Your brother teases you, seeing the way you blink back wordlessly at his friend.

“Nothing, shut up. Here’s your medicine, nerd.” You snap out of it and toss the paper bag at your brother on the couch. 

“Thanks. Your package is in your room on your desk.” 

“Thanks,” you nod, your eyes shifting back to the man on the couch who’s just been smiling politely at you since you entered, chuckling at your sibling spat.

“This is Joshua, by the way.” Hansol finally says, gesturing to the man next to him. “Josh, this is my sister I told you about.”

“Yeah, I remember her. Hey, Y/n,” Joshua waves at you, his smile lowering but you still notice the way the corners of his lips quirk.

“You remember me?” You ask as you try and wrack your brain for any Joshuas from your past. “Oh! Joshua Hong?!” The minute you remember him, you’re even more shocked at how good looking he is. The once lanky, awkward looking transfer student that your brother befriended in his first year of high school even though Joshua is older than him, is now so much different. He’s filled out more, the t-shirt he’s wearing hugging his torso in the most distracting way possible. His jaw is defined, his hair longer and a soft shade of reddish-brown. He looks like a completely different person in your eyes.

What the fuck is going on with all of your brother’s friends? Why were they all suddenly so goddamn hot?!

“That’s me. It’s been a while, huh?”

“I mean yeah, try almost a decade?” You sit on the couch on the other side of Hansol to catch up. “What have you been up to?”

“Oh, nothing much. I’m finishing my last year of school. I’m getting my bachelor of medicine right now.”

“You’re going to be a doctor?!” You’re surprised, to say the least. From your memory, you can’t remember Joshua being interested in the medical field, but at the same time, you didn’t really know Joshua well enough to recall too much about him.

He lets out a sheepish laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah. I’ll be doing pediatrics. I didn’t anticipate that I’d get into pediatric medicine initially, it’s just what I fell into and I love it.” God, he’s incredibly fine and he’s going to be a doctor? You’ve completely forgotten what you were planning on doing when you get home. 

The front door opens then, Chan arriving home from work too. When he comes into the living room he freezes, surprised at the third person on the couch.

“Shua hyung?” 

“Hey, Chan!” 

“What’re you doing here?”

“Ah, my apartment building is being exterminated and I need to be out for two days and Hansol  is gracious enough to let me crash on your couch till it’s done.”

Chan nods, not minding too much until his eyes flicker to you. He immediately notices the way you look at Joshua. He looks at you enough to know most of your facial expressions and the way your eyes inspect Joshua makes it clear you’re looking at him in the complete opposite of a platonic way.

Chan feels something unpleasant stirring in the pit of his stomach that he can’t shake.

It turns out Joshua is much more than just a doctor-to-be with a pretty face the more you talk with him. It should’ve been a little more awkward getting to know him, but it really wasn’t. You have a lot in common and he’s incredibly interesting and charming. He’s easier to get along with than you had anticipated. The two of you end up spending time together while he’s staying over and he also insists on helping you when he can even though, as you remind all of the men in the house, it’s just a minor wrist sprain.

You are lucky that he’s studying medicine because he inspects your wrist while he’s staying with you and reaffirms what the doctor at the hospital said. It’s not that serious and you should be free by the end of the week. Joshua’s hands are so much bigger than yours and they’re so very warm. The way he cradles your injured wrist is delicate and he handles you like the smallest flower. His sweet gestures make you feel warm all over anytime he says something kind to you or helps you.

He’s only on your couch for two days, but it’s long enough that you’re drawn to him. It helps that he is probably one of the most gorgeous men you’ve ever seen, but his personality makes him almost too good to be true. Or you’re just incredibly desperate for someone to give you attention since it seems like Chan has taken a step back from being your nurse or growing closer to you. It hurts a bit, but having Joshua around feels nice and makes you feel a little more cared for.

When it’s the day that Joshua is supposed to be leaving, you both get back from work at the same time. You chat with him while he puts the pillowcase and blanket he used in the laundry and goes into the bathroom to make sure he’s packed all of his toiletries. 

As you walk him to the door he thanks you again for letting him stay. Before he leaves though, he stops and takes a few seconds before turning back to you, surprising you.

“Hey, Y/n, I know this will seem completely out of nowhere, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but would you let me take you out sometime?”

You blink back at him, mouth opening into a surprised ‘o.’ 

“No pressure of course! And I won’t be upset if you say no. You’ve only really been getting to know me for two days, so I wouldn’t blame you at all if it’s a no.”

Even though Joshua seems like an absolute gentleman and has been nothing but nice to you, you still can’t help but pause. Your track record with dating has historically not been very good. Hell, even your last attempt at a hookup failed miserably. Plus, Joshua is another one of your brother’s friends. He’s only a couple of years younger than you, and sure, he doesn’t live with you, but you’d hate to be the reason that any of Hansol’s friendships get ruined.

“Joshua, you’re really sweet, but I’m Hansol’s older sister. I don’t know how he’d feel about that.”

“Okay, that’s a very fair hesitation, but if it helps, I asked Hansol this morning if I could ask you out and he said, and I quote, ‘Sure, whatever. Just make sure you don’t hurt her or I’ll tell Seungcheol.’” Joshua laughs, shrugging at you. You recognize that name as being Hansol’s oldest friend. You didn’t talk much when you were in school, but you remember him being mildly popular and feared by many. 

You return his laugh and can’t help but wonder if Hansol would feel the same if you and Chan dated.

Shaking your head, you brush the thought away. One date can’t hurt - it’s not like Joshua is asking you to be his girlfriend. You and Chan are still in an odd place right now anyway. You’re not really sure how to gauge him right now, and he isn’t making any moves to change that. Sure you don’t know Joshua very well but that’s what dates are for right? 

“Okay,” you finally say. “But after I get this stupid brace off. I will see my doctor tomorrow afternoon and I should get an all clear.”

The smile Joshua gives you is lethal and makes your palms sweaty. “Of course. After you take your brace off. I’d want you to be feeling completely better so you can enjoy yourself.” His words make your face heat up, suddenly feeling shy. “What do you say I pick you up tomorrow at six?”

“Sure, that works for me.”

“It’s a date then,” Joshua offers you one more look before he’s out the door and on his way.

Once he’s gone, you bring your hands to your cheeks, cursing yourself for getting so flustered around a guy you barely know, no matter how perfect he looks. To get your mind off of Joshua, you shower and get ready for the evening before deciding you’ll order a pizza and call Jinah to tell her about your date tomorrow.

“So how’s it going with Y/n?” Soonyoung asks Chan as they clean up and prepare to lock up the dance studio at the end of the day.

“It’s…going I guess.” 

“I assume this means it’s going absolutely nowhere?” Chan narrows his eyes at Soonyoung, ignoring the way his friend laughs at him.

“It was going somewhere. And then I made her break her wrist and now everything is weird.”

“Oh yeah I remember you said that, but you also said that she was about to reciprocate when you almost kissed, was she not?” 

“I mean, yeah I think so, but she’s also been flirting with Joshua since he got here and he’s definitely been flirting back. What if I’m wrong and she wasn’t actually going to kiss me back?”

Soonyoung lets out a sigh behind Chan, watching as his younger friend visibly agonizes over his thoughts and self-doubt. 

“Chan, listen, I’m going to be honest with you okay?”

“Why am I worried…”

“Because I’m about to tell you the truth!” Soonyoung waits for Chan to lock the studio door and turns to look at him. “You need to decide what you want to do. Either you’ll keep doing this weird will-they-won’t-they with her and not tell her how you feel and probably stress over her for the rest of your life or you tell her and see what happens. I know you’re worried about what she’ll say or how she’ll react, but is that better or worse than letting this eat you up forever?”

Chan scoffs, both options are terrible and he hates them equally, but at the same time, he really has to decide. Either option makes him uncomfortable and unhappy, but Soonyoung has a point, he’s just not sure which is the lesser of the two evils.

“I don’t know…”

“Well, I think you should think about it again and figure it out. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with flirting unless she actually becomes his girlfriend or something, right?”

Chan mumbles something that even he finds unintelligible, but Soonyoung doesn’t press him to repeat himself. They walk the short distance to the parking lot on the side of the studio and bid each other goodbye, Soonyoung wishing him luck again.

Chan spends the entire drive home in silence, weighing the pros and cons of telling you how he feels versus not telling you. He’s had this internal battle with himself since you moved in and it’s always the same in each category. 

You may hate him. He’ll make living with you awkward. He’ll fuck up his friendship with Hansol.

All the same negative scenarios play on repeat. The only pro (and the biggest, to be clear), would be that you feel the same for him or you’ll at least want to give him a chance. For Chan, it comes down to how much of a risk he wants to take here.

He’s not much of a risk taker usually, but he also can’t help but tell himself that you’re more than worth the risk. If he can get over his fear of the cons that is.

Chan is still deep in thought when he gets home. When he walks into the apartment, he can hear you talking in your room. The dock for the cordless phone sits empty on the side table next to the couch which tells him you’re using it. 

He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, truly he doesn’t, but as he’s walking down the hall to his room, he overhears you mention Joshua’s name and the word ‘date.’ Chan freezes in his tracks, his heart beating rapidly at the implication. He knows he should go into his room and wait until you’re done to ask what the plan for dinner is. 

Instead, he tiptoes to your room, the door ajar enough for him to listen without being seen.

“I’m not sure where he’s taking me. He didn’t say and I didn’t ask. I want to be surprised.” You chuckle and there’s a beat of silence as the person, who Chan assumes is Jinah, speaks. “I’m telling you, he looks so different now. Like, fuck I can’t even describe how good looking he is! And hello, he’s going to be a doctor!” More silence. “I mean, let’s not get crazy. We’re not eloping or anything, it’s just one date.” You stop talking before breaking out into a fit of laughter.

Chan takes this as his sign to slink away, trudging to his bedroom to wallow. He tries to remind himself that you don’t even know how he feels, he’s never even told you about his feelings, so what right does he have to be upset about this?

Absolutely none, logically speaking. That doesn’t make the twinge of pain in his chest feel any more bearable.

It’s ten minutes to six when you’re putting the finishing touches on your hair and fastening your jewelry. You called Joshua earlier in the day to let him know that your doctor gave you the okay to take off your brace and that your wrist is feeling much better. You also asked if you should wear anything special for tonight. He advised that you didn’t need anything fancy, just whatever makes you feel good and some comfortable shoes. To be safe, you were going with thermal leggings and a nice sweater to stay warm and comfy.

With your bag and boots in hand, you leave your room and head down the hallway, intending to wait in the living room. The apartment is quiet with Hansol out for the night and Chan presumably in his room. You haven’t seen him much since he got home from work last night. He took his pizza into his room to eat it and you only saw him briefly this morning when he was coming back from the gym. You want to ask him if he’s okay, but you can’t seem to get a moment with him to do so. 

As you reach the end of the hallway, Chan rounds the corner suddenly and you both let out a yelp, running into each other.

“Shit, sorry!” Chan steadies you when your shoes and bag fall out of your hand along with the book that had been in his. He quickly bends down to pick up your things and gingerly hands them over to you.

“Thanks,” you smile at him, forcing your eyes up to his face and not down to the black tank top that hugs his torso.

“Of course,” Chan smiles back, neither of you moving. He’s blocking the entryway into the living room, you tell yourself, so he has to move first.

He doesn’t and instead looks above your head, chuckling nervously. 

“Huh?” You look up and catch sight of the mistletoe hanging above your heads. Who the fuck even put that there?

The two of you look from the mistletoe to each other, and then back up again. 

“You don’t have to,” Chan starts, his neck turning a deep shade of red.

“I - I mean you neither, if you don’t want to. But if you do, since you know it’s tradition or whatever, we can. Only if you want!” You’re stammering at this point, hand gripping the strap of your bag so hard your knuckles hurt. 

Your mind goes back to the ice skating rink and the moment the two of you shared. Chan’s reaction now might just reaffirm your thoughts from that day, but you try not to get too emotionally attached as you wait for his next words.

He doesn’t say anything, and instead, he answers with his movements. He looks into your eyes, so intensely you feel yourself squirm under his gaze. He starts to lean forward then, his face coming closer and closer to yours. 

There’s your answer.

Nothing comes from the moment though, when the doorbell rings, making both you and Chan spring apart with wide eyes. Clearing your throat, you apologize to Chan as you shuffle past him and into the living room. 

“One minute!” You call out to the door, assuming it’s Joshua. You fish your compact out of your bag to give yourself one more once over before you rush to the door and sure enough, you see Joshua through the peephole.

“Hi. You look beautiful,” are the first words out of his mouth when he sees you, eyes sweeping over your frame appreciatively.

“Thank you. You look very handsome. And are those for me?” You gesture to the large bouquet in his hands and accept it when he holds it out to you.

“Thank you. And yes they are. I couldn’t just show up empty handed.” You thank him again and step back into the apartment to find somewhere to put your flowers. Chan is gone when you enter the living room again and you don’t see him as you find a vase in the kitchen and fill it with water, placing the bouquet in them before joining Joshua again and leaving with him.

Your date with Joshua is as normal as a date can get, but you don’t mind one bit. As he drives you to your destination, you fall into easy conversation as you ask him about his job. Right now, he’s working at his friend’s office until he’s done with school. Since he’s still getting his degree, he can’t legally do much medical wise, but he does volunteer at the hospital when he can to visit the kids and keep them company between surgeries and procedures. 

He tells you stories from the hospital and you can tell just in the way he talks about the patients he’s spent time with that it’s something he really enjoys and is looking forward to doing full time. It’s admirable to see someone so in love with what they do and recall it in such a positive way. You know that when you recount stories from your time in the air and in different countries, it’s always with bittersweet words. There was so much you loved about being a flight attendant and so much you disliked, but Joshua talks about medicine with nothing but love. 

Similar to how Chan speaks about dancing. 

You push that thought away as soon as it conjures in your brain, refocusing back on your date.

Joshua takes you to a fancy looking Japanese restaurant and does everything right that you would expect. He makes sure to open your car door for you and the door of the restaurant. He pulls out your chair and tells you to order whatever you want, making it clear that he’ll be paying and brushing you off when you try to convince him to split the bill. 

“Okay, Doctor Hong, you win. You’re more stubborn than me,” you joke after you both order.

He laughs, shrugging and making eye contact with you. “I asked you out, so I’ll pay. Simple as that. Maybe next time you can arrange the next date and you can pay.” 

The idea of another date with Joshua hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’re comfortable with him and are enjoying talking with him and getting to know him more, but you feel like there’s something missing that you can’t quite put your finger on. 

That feeling persists during dinner, even through the shared laughter and the jokes and it sticks when you’re back in the car after dessert. It lingers as you chat on the way to the second, secret destination he has on the itinerary.

When Joshua eventually parks on the curb of a neighborhood you don’t recognize, you see a bunch of other cars parked and can see bright lights in the distance.

“Where exactly are we?” You try to read street signs around but don’t recognize them. Joshua offers his hand as he opens your door and you hesitantly take it, letting him escort you out. He doesn’t let your hand go as you walk down the sidewalk and get closer to all of the lights.

“I know you’re really into Christmas and decorations so I wanted to take you here,” As you walk closer to the lights, you finally start to notice that they’re Christmas decorations. It’s a whole street of houses adorned with bright lights and flashy decorations. “There aren’t too many people who go all out with the decorations here, but I happened upon this street when I got lost once and they do this every year. It reminds me of the way people back home in L.A. decorate their houses for the holidays.”

You nod, eyes taking in a house with sparking blue and white lights wrapped around every inch of their house. “Yeah, whenever we had layovers or rest periods in the U.S. for the holidays it was nice to see all the decorations out there. It’s why I made Hansol and Chan decorate the apartment. It makes the holidays feel more fun for me.” You laugh, sticking the hand not in Joshua’s in your coat pocket. “I don’t know, maybe that’s silly.”

“It’s not,” he insists, squeezing your hand. “I think it’s very cute and sweet.” Looking over at him out of the corner of your eye, he smiles warmly at you. Joshua is so good at making you flustered it’s almost illegal.

You keep your hand in his as you walk down the sidewalk, pointing out different decorations and your favorite houses. There are other people around you taking in the decorations, all other couples from what you can see. There’s one house that you get to towards the end of the street that’s the most dramatic looking of all. Twinkling, multicolored lights cover the house and an army of snowmen litter the yard, all draped in winter clothes with lights on them as accessories. Various blow-up decorations dot the yard, one of them even playing instrumental versions of classic Christmas carols. Paired with the December snow on the ground, the yard resembles a true winter wonderland and for a moment, you just focus on that and not the fact that your brain keeps wanting you to imagine taking all of this in with Chan.

You’re so focused on the wonder in front of you that you don’t notice the way Joshua admires your profile, smiling at the way your eyes sparkle as you admire the lights and decorations. Joshua takes the moment, turning to you and placing his fingers under your chin to turn your head towards him. The gesture catches you off guard, as does the kiss he leans down to place on your lips.

Joshua’s lips are plush against yours and so incredibly soft. He almost doesn’t feel real. His lips move against yours and you reciprocate, but that earlier, nagging feeling you’ve had since the restaurant comes back. The insistence that something here is missing and it’s even louder now that Joshua is kissing you. It’s especially hard to enjoy kissing him when your mind only wants to focus on your second almost-kiss with Chan earlier. You yearn so badly to feel his lips on yours and daydream about if they feel as soft as they look. You also can’t help but wonder if kissing Chan would make you feel things like fireworks. That consideration alone makes you notice the severe lack of them now. Guilt occupies your mind along with your thoughts of Chan and you notice just how little you feel from kissing Joshua.

As if he feels it too, he pulls away slowly, eyes immediately scanning your face. 

“Are you okay, Y/n?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” 

“It’s just that, well I mean, you’ve seemed like your mind is only half here all night. I could feel it just now. Did I do something? I should’ve asked you before kissing you, I’m sorry.”

“No! No, Joshua it’s fine! You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise! You’re a great kisser anyway,” you mumble the last part, truly meaning it. Joshua chuckles and thanks you, but his expression gets serious again.

“I appreciate that and you are too, but I still feel like something is wrong.” He stares at you as if trying to read your mind and it makes you feel shy. 

“It’s just…fuck, listen, Joshua, I have had a lot of fun tonight, okay? You’re easy to talk to and laugh with and I like hanging out with you, but I think maybe…there’s a spark between us that’s missing? I’m really sorry.” You gnaw on your bottom lip as you get your words out, worrying about how he’ll react.

Thankfully, he doesn’t make any indication that he’s upset at you. Instead, Joshua just nods and if anything, looks a little disappointed. 

“Thank you for being honest with me. I’ve had a really fun time too. Even though I do genuinely like you, I’m not going to try and make you return my feelings. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to at least stay friends? I promise I can get over my crush.”

“Are you sure? I feel bad that I had you take me out like this and it was for nothing.”

“Hey, it wasn’t for nothing! I’m a little disappointed we can’t be more, but I still got to know you more. I mean it when I say let’s stay friends. It’s comfortable and nice hanging out with you. I promise I won’t make this weird. If you’re okay with it. Otherwise, when I take you home, I’ll drop you off and fuck off forever.”

You huff out a laugh, mostly in relief at how normal he’s taking your lack of interest. You study him for a moment, sincerity is easy to read in his expression.

Your shoulders relax as you nod, telling Joshua that you’ll gladly still be friends. This seems to put him at ease as well, letting out a sigh of relief. In your friendship travels, finding a dependable guy friend has been near impossible, so the idea of finally finding one means you can't just let the friendship slip away. You did genuinely enjoy spending time with him too.

You and Joshua finish the walk and any awkwardness you felt when the night started leaves now that the air is a bit clearer. Joshua doesn’t hold your hand, but he stays close and you appreciate that he genuinely meant he didn’t want you to feel weird around him.

After going around the block and taking a few selfies together (at Joshua’s request), you walk back to his car and he still holds the door open for you.

“What? Just because we’re friends this is still a date right?” He shoots you a smirk and you roll your eyes but laugh, nodding at his words. “Exactly. Now let’s get you home.”

Once back in the car, Joshua turns up the heat, both of you thawing as he starts the drive back to your apartment building.

At one point in your chatter as he takes you home, you compliment his gentlemanly behavior all night, telling him it’s honestly some of the most you’ve been wooed out of most other guys you’ve been with. Joshua frowns, citing how fucked up that is and how much guys fucking suck. You can’t help but laugh, noting that his level-headedness just adds to the fact that he’s the perfect guy for most women.

You voice this, adding: “If you’re still looking for someone special, my best friend just might fall in love with you if she meets you.” Joshua laughs, shooting you a brief look that you catch. “Yeah okay. I’ll tell her about you and let you know what she says.” You giggle.

“Sorry!” He winces, regretting his obvious expression. “Was that weird? Did I make it weird?”

“No, no! I don’t mind! I do think you’re a great guy and I love her and want her to be with a great guy. I don’t have a problem with you two going out. I’m just a little relieved to know you wanna talk to someone else so quickly. Makes me feel less bad about everything.”

“Hey, for real, don’t feel bad! I told you I’m going to be okay.”

“Ugh I know, I just feel bad because you paid for that fancy sushi and walked out in the cold and I’m curbing you.”

“Y/n, I’m not going to go home and write in my journal that you broke my heart. It was just a date, okay?” 

Sighing, you finally accept his answer, deciding to let it drop, but still let him know you’re going to talk to Jinah about him. 

“If you guys do go out and fall in love, try not to treat me like a third wheel, yeah?”

Chuckling, Joshua rolls his eyes at you as the car rolls to a stop at a red light. “She doesn’t even know my name yet, Y/n.”

“Yeah well, what I said still stands.”

“Whatever you say.” 

“Yes, thank you.” 

“Mmhmm.” Joshua shakes his head at you and your triumphant sounding rebuttal. “Just make sure you don’t forget about your friends whenever you find someone.” 

Frowning, you shake your head. “Oh, absolutely not. I’ve never even entertained abandoning my friends for a relationship. I’ll divide my time evenly between you guys and Ch-” Your lips clamp together like your mouth has been sewn shut, halting your words immediately.

Unfortunately, Joshua catches it, his eyebrows raising so high they almost disappear into his hairline. “Us and who?”

“No one.”

“That's obviously a lie. You were totally about to say someone’s name.”

“Huh? What makes you think that?”

You hit another red light and Joshua fixes you with a blank expression. “Really? You’re not gonna tell me?”

“Hey, this is still a date, remember?! What kind of date would I be if I talked about another guy?”

Joshua narrows his eyes once more before focusing back on the road as he accelerates and drops it, a suspicious look still on his face. You steer the conversation back to Joshua, getting him to tell you about his family back home a little more. He surely knows you’re deflecting but he doesn’t press you further. 

The conversation leads you right to a parking spot in your complex near the building entrance. Joshua, ever the gentleman, opens your door for you and walks you inside.

When reaching the third floor, Joshua walks you to the door. He pulls you into a hug, saying again that he had a good time hanging out with you regardless of the outcome. He says that he’ll look forward to your call about Jinah and about hanging out again soon. 

Things with Joshua may not have gone as intended, but you’re grateful that he’s understanding and not mad at the fact that you ended up not being interested.

“I will, promise. Get home safe!”

“I will. Have a good night.” He waves at you as he starts to go, but turns quickly to look at you with a glint in his eyes. “And good luck with Chan.” He caps his sentence off with a wink and the moment leaves you flabbergasted. Did he just say Chan?!

“I - what about Chan?!” You can only hope you don’t look as panicked as you feel. Joshua doesn’t address your question, or what he said as he gets to the elevator, offering you a final wave and laughing as the door closes.

How the hell did he know that’s who you were talking about? You’ve never done anything to make someone think you like Chan, but clearly the response lets you know that maybe you’re not as good at hiding your feelings as you thought you were. Has Chan noticed anything from you that would clue him in on your feelings for him being more than platonic? If so, you can only hope Hansol has been too… Hansol to notice it himself.

Chan’s lost count of how many times he’s paced the living room. He keeps trying to sit or do something else other than obsess over you, but nothing seems to be working. All he can think about is you out on a date, having fun, and developing feelings for someone other than him. He even called out of work tonight, telling Soonyoung he wasn’t feeling well. It wasn’t a complete lie. 

Seeing the way Joshua just swept in after so long and snatched you up, just-like-that, legitimately made his head and stomach hurt. Chan knows for sure he is absolutely in love with you and the other almost-kiss he nearly shared with you proves it. He still didn’t recall where the mistletoe came from, but because of it, even if it wasn’t the proper result, he’s not exactly complaining. Well, not about the fact that you very clearly almost kissed him back.

He just feels like an idiot because he let you leave and is watching you slip away from him again and this time it’s to one of his friends. A friend that has more guts than him to step up and ask you out and tell you that he’s into you.

Chan hasn’t been brave enough to approach you and finally, finally try asking you out. The time when he was fourteen didn’t count because he was still a kid and you never saw him as anything other than your little brother’s annoying best friend that followed you around. Of course, you wouldn't have ever gone out with him. 

But it’s different now. You’re both adults and you’re closer than that already. You seem to actually enjoy spending time with Chan and being around him for the first time in the entire time that he has known you and maybe, just maybe, he’d have a real chance with you. 

His own cowardice stopped him from speaking up and allowed his older, much more confident hyung to do what he’s been too afraid to. It fucking sucked.

After you left, the only thing he’s done is stay up and stare at the TV, jealousy chipping away at him. Jealous that Joshua got to you before he could do it. Jealousy eats him up so much that he can’t feel relaxed no matter what he does. So, the only thing he thinks to do is sit up and wait for you.

As you enter the apartment, you expect the room to be dark, but you’re surprised to instead see Chan pacing around the living room with the TV playing a commercial.

When he turns upon hearing the door, you both freeze, his expression reading a deer in headlights. 

“Y/n.”

“Chan?”

“Y/n, you’re here.”

“Yeah, I’m here. Are you okay?”

His eyes are wide as he watches you slip your shoes off. 

“Y/n,” he rushes over to you, grabbing your hands when you step into the room. The gesture is the most contact you’ve had in a week and it lights up all of your senses. He guides you into the room, but the two of you stay standing. “I have some stuff I want to say, okay? It might sound weird and you might hate me and I might fuck up everything, but I’m going to explode if I keep this to myself anymore.”

“Okay…” Your hesitance is obvious, but you don’t walk away to take your hands out of his hold, so he takes this as a sign to continue.

“I, fuck I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it, but Y/n, the truth is that I’m still in love with you. It’s different from when I was a dumb kid. That was me being captivated by my best friend’s big sister who was so much cooler and more mature than me and was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. When you left for college and your career, it hurt, but I told myself to get over it. That it was just my first crush and first crushes eventually go away.

And I thought that was true until you moved back and I realized, ‘oh shit, I’m still into her,’ only now it’s worse because I got to know you, like really know you, and realized that you’re still that intelligent, mature, amazing girl, but now you’re a woman and you’re still the woman of my dreams. I’ve been trying so hard to show you that I still care for you without actually saying it because I was worried that you’d turn me down and I didn’t know if I could handle that, but seeing you go out with Joshua and potentially slip away from me for good again has been killing me all night and I can’t hold back anymore. 

If you don’t like me back that is completely okay! I know Joshua hyung is handsome and smart and he’s going to be a doctor so like whatever, yeah I get it. I won’t make living with you weird at all! I’ll even steer clear of certain areas when you’re around if that makes you feel better. Just, you know, whatever you want. But okay, I’m done. Too many words.”

Chan wants the floor to open up right at this moment and swallow him given the way you’re looking at him. Wide-eyed and mouth in a firm line as you absorb his words.

“Dammit, Chan!”

“What?! Sorry! Fuck, I’m sorry I suck I-”

“Huh? No! I didn’t mean it like that! I said that because, well, I think that you succeeded in showing me how much you care for me because I’ve fallen for you over the past three months.” Chan’s eyes widen almost comically, but he doesn’t say anything. “ I tried to fight it given one, you’re my brother’s best friend, two we live together, and three, you’re younger than me and four, I just didn’t want to make things weird with all of us living together, but knowing you like me just makes me want to stop being so cautious.”

“Really?”

“Really. Spending time with you and getting to know you has only made me like you more. Being around you, spending time with you, talking with you, everything just feels so right when we’re together. It’s scary because I have never felt like this, but I want it. I want you, Chan. In every sense of the word.”

The shell shocked man across from you has to let your words sit in his brain for a bit before he fully registers what you’ve said. You like him too. You’ve fallen for him. Being with him feels right. You want him. 

If this is a cruel dream, Chan would really appreciate it if he could wake up right now. He closes his eyes tightly, counting to three before opening again. Sure enough, you’re still standing in front of him, looking at him with expectant eyes, anticipating his next words.

“Sorry, I’m just letting this all sink in. I don’t think I thought you’d actually say you feel the same.”

You shrug, shooting him a small smile. “Me neither honestly. I thought for sure you had gotten over your crush on me and moved on to actual women who returned your feelings.”

“Me too, at first I mean. But like I said, just seeing you again had all of those feelings rushing back to me.” 

“Well I’m extremely lucky then it seems.”

“So am I.” You both stand there, grinning at each other, unsure what to do next. You think about maybe kissing Chan, finally, but you wonder if that’s too fast and too presumptuous of you.

As if he can read your mind, Chan clears his throat, making eye contact for a few seconds before looking away and taking a breath.

“Y/n, can I kiss you?” He blurts out, but you still hear him.

“Please do!” You answer immediately, encouraged by the knowledge that he wants the same as you.

Chan doesn’t need to be told twice, immediately rushing over to you before you have too much time to think. Your back hits the wall in an effort to keep your weak knees from giving out. When Chan stops, right in front of you, you’re almost chest to chest. He’s so close that you feel the warmth that radiates from him.

His arm rests above your head, keeping you trapped, but leaving his other arm down, allowing you a way out if you wanted. Neither of you speak for a moment, both blinking at the other. You each need to decide what will happen next. 

You both make that decision at the exact same time. Chan’s eyes stay locked on yours as he lowers his face. At the same time, your eyes flutter closed as you crane your neck up, allowing your lips to meet somewhere in the middle.

Your lips are still a little cold, Chan notes as your arms reach out in the tiny space between the two of you, and grasp the front of his t-shirt to pull him close, his body pressing you completely against the wall. He squeezes his eyes closed hard enough to hurt a few times in an effort to wake himself up from the dream that he feels like he’s having. He’s had more dreams than he can count about kissing you for as long as he can remember, so surely this is another one of those? 

That thought is only sent away when your arms slip up his body and around his neck, fingers weaving into the sensitive hairs on the back of his neck and tugging. The action is like lightning through his body and helps keep him in the very real moment.

Kissing Chan feels the way that you think they describe in movies. They always describe it as feeling like the world around you fades away in a haze and your head feels fuzzy. All of the sounds you hear are like white noise or turn into muffled background noise. It’s cliché and something you don’t think you’ve ever felt until this moment. Kissing Chan feels right and you don’t think you ever want to kiss anyone else for a long time, if ever again.

His strong arms wrap around your waist as you melt into him, your lips moving together in perfect sync. Your hands move down to his biceps to steady yourself, fingers wrapping around as much of him as you can, which isn’t much but you try.

You stay like that longer than you think you can count. Both of you clinging to one another, making out against the wall like lovestruck, horny teenagers, even if that’s exactly what you feel like. Your heart hammers against your chest and your thighs squeeze together as the kiss ignites not only something in your chest, but in your panties too. 

The kiss turns from soft and sentimental to heated quicker than either of you are brave enough to admit, but you’re not complaining. You’ve wanted each other for months (years for Chan) and are finally getting what you’ve dreamt of. Chan’s thick, muscled thigh wedges its way between yours. Your leggings may have been thick enough to avoid the cold, but they aren’t thick enough to keep you away from feeling him brush against your tender folds.

What sounds like a whimper slips out of you and gets swept away by Chan’s tongue and into his mouth. He swallows down sound after sound as he makes sure to nudge your pussy again and again and soon enough, you’re grinding down on him, sloppily riding his thigh as his lips stay connected to yours.

When you finally pull away, the first sound out of your mouth is a deep moan. Chan flexes his thigh in a way that tenses the muscles and he hits your clothed clit in the most delicious way.

“Fuck,” Chan pants as he holds your hips. His knee rests between your legs and against the wall to stay steady. You grind over Chan’s sweatpants again and with each sweet sound that slips out of your mouth, he feels himself getting painfully harder.

“Ch-Chan,” you manage out.

“Hmm?”

“I need more.”

“More? More what, baby girl?” 

The pet name rolls off his tongue so easily, too easily, and your pussy throbs even harder. Riding his thigh feels fucking amazing and you know you can cum just like this, but you don’t want to just yet. You’d much rather cum around his cock. The playful part of you also wants him to be just as needy as you.

“More of you. Please, baby,” You lean up to place kisses on his neck. When you get to his jawline, you flatten your tongue right on the side of his chin, dragging it up his jaw, and landing on his ear lobe. Chan makes the prettiest, breathy whines as you tease him and it only makes you clench even more. When you stop and your teeth nibble on the shell of his ear, capping it off with a whisper of, “Please Channie,” Chan feels like he could explode, right then and there.

“Anything. Fucking anything for you” Chan mumbles his words before diving down to lavish your neck in kisses of his own, the tip of his tongue darting out occasionally to lap at your skin. He leaves sloppy kisses on your skin as he descends down to your chest, stopping briefly where your nipples sit behind layers of clothes. 

He drops to his knees as he goes and doesn’t stop until he reaches your waist. 

“Chan?” You’re surprised that this is how he wants you first. You expected him to finger you before anything, but he clearly wants to start elsewhere.

His hands move to grasp at your waistband, stopping before he actually undresses you. His eyes meet yours, fingertips meeting your bare skin underneath your sweater. 

“Can I? I need to get my mouth on you so badly.”

“Fuck, yes. You better,” you demand in response, not even flinching at his request. The two of you easily slip your leggings and your panties down and off of you in one go. 

Chan lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, pushing your thighs apart. His eyes widen at the sight of you bare and wet in front of him. His mouth waters at the glistening arousal he sees coating your lower lips and he almost gets lightheaded at the heady scent of you. Chan could die right here before even tasting you and even that would be okay with him.

“Chan, please I need you!” You beg, feeling self conscious under his stare. He doesn’t make you wait any longer and instantly dives between your folds, his tongue lapping at you harshly.

Your knees nearly buckle at the suction, a loud cry ringing out. He doesn’t hesitate at all, his tongue immediately plunging into your wet hole. Your head hits the wall with a thunk as Chan begins eating you out as if his life depended on it. He fucks you with his tongue with obvious vigor, his nose bumping into your clit with each turn of his head.

His hands cup your ass, pulling you closer to his face so he can reach deeper in you, damn near making out with your cunt. Chan grunts and groans into you as he slurps, the wet sounds echoing through the room.

“Fuck, Chan. Fuck you’re t-too fucking good,” Your fingers are in his hair again, knotting into his strands to hold his face against you. The action makes him dizzy, his cock painfully hard and begging to be released from the confines of his sweatpants.

When you cum, which isn’t very long from when he started devouring you, you think you almost pass out. Your vision whites out and your body feels like gelatin, almost falling forward. Chan keeps his grip on your ass, not stopping until you start to yank him away from your pussy.

“I am going to pass out if you keep eating me out like that!”

“Fucking hell, Y/n, you have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted to taste you,” he’s breathless when he speaks, licking his lips in the most obscene manner. 

“Did I live up to your expectations?” You tease, getting wet all over again as you observe the way his face glistens with your juices and his blown out pupils.

“You have no idea. But we’re not done yet, beautiful.”

Another simple pet name has you shivering and Chan notices, and he loves the way you react to him. He stands upright again and grabs your hand, lacing your fingers together as he leads you to his bedroom. When he gets you in the room he brings you to his bed, pushing you and watching you bounce gently on his quilt. You start to undress what you had left on, keeping your eyes trained on him as you pull your sweater over your head and unhook your bra, tossing it somewhere in the room.

This is just like so many wet dreams he’s had, but this time it’s real life and almost too good to be true.

“You gonna just stand there and ogle me or are you going to get naked and come over here and kiss me?” You tease him, widening your legs to make room for him.

Chan’s eyes are glued to your pussy, still wet and shining for him, and he all but tears his clothes from his body and scrambles onto the bed without another thought.

“Sorry,” he says between kisses. “I was just admiring the goddess waiting for me on my bed,” You’re ready to tease him again, but he cuts you off when he lowers his head and his mouth suctions around one of your nipples, sucking hard enough to make your back bow off of the bed. 

Eager lips lavish over the sensitive bud as his hand finds its way between your legs. He circles your entrance with a finger and repeats the motion a few more times before kissing his way over to your other nipple to give it the same amount of attention.

“So pretty,” he mumbles against your skin. Your fingers tangle in his dark hair as he covers your chest in bites, licks, and kisses, his finger still teasing you.

As if sensing you about to complain, he finally lets your nipple go, kissing his way down your body until he’s face to face with your pussy again.

“Chan…” you sigh, feeling his tongue dart out to lick a stripe from your entrance to your clit. He takes the time to spend extra attention on your nub, stiffening his tongue and flicking at it at what feels like an inhumane speed.

Chan relishes the gorgeous sound of your cries for him, noises of pleasure mixed in with huffs of his name and whispers of curse words. He loves that these sounds are all for him and because of him. He already knew he’d get addicted to you if he ever was able to get you into his bed and this settles that. He needs to hear you like this for him until he passes away. Even then, he wants to be buried with a recording of your moans and whines.

He shifts on his stomach to get closer to your core and plunges his tongue into you, groaning at the taste of you on his tongue again. The angle allows him room to grind against his quilt, pretending that it’s you he’s rutting against. His eyes slip closed as your thighs do the same around his head and he loses himself as he eats you out with a sense of excitement that he doesn’t think he’s ever felt about anything else.

Chan moves as if he didn’t do the same thing not even ten minutes ago and he only serves in pushing you so much closer to the edge faster than the first time. You call this out to him, tugging at his hair and it only spurs him on. He burrows between your legs even further, letting out more determined grunts that you feel throughout your entire body.

“Ch-Chan, fuck, I’m cumming! Right there, right there - I - fuck!” Your hands keep Chan trapped as you let go, legs spasming as he keeps at it, happily lapping up your release that covers his chin.

Out of breath, your body sags against the bed and you pry your legs open to let him up. “Shit, Chan enough. Come up here and fuck me already.”

“Yes ma’am.” His face is covered in you and his use of yes ma’am sends molten heat up your spine and between your legs again.

He leans over to his nightstand to fish out a condom, but you stop him, shaking your head.

“I’m on the pill, just pull out?”

Your words could’ve very well been a spell with the way they make him dizzy, but he doesn’t question it and only breathes out a yes and positions himself between your legs.

“Are you okay? Tell me to stop at any time and I will, okay?” He checks your face to make sure you’re comfortable and when he sees you nod he starts to ease himself into you slowly.

When his bulbous tip slips in first, you’re instantly letting out small mewls that only intensify with each inch that Chan fills you with.

“Oh my fuck, Y/n, you feel incredible. Shit!” Chan grits his teeth as he takes his time entering you. When he’s finally filled you up to the hilt, he has to take a second and take a deep breath. He’s never felt so close to cumming this quickly since he was in high school. It’s embarrassing to admit, but you truly feel like nothing and no one he’s ever felt. Your soft velvet walls cradle him perfectly, clenching every now and again making him even weaker.

“Move, Channie,” you breathe out, lifting your hips a little to get him going. Chan sits up on his knees, wrapping your legs around his waist as he grabs a hold of your hips.

He starts slow as he fucks you, finding a pace that works for him. Once he gets it, which he does rather quickly, he’s relentless. His hips drive into yours at breakneck speed, balls hitting your ass which each thrust forward.

“Fuck, Y/n, baby, you feel like a fucking dream!” His compliment comes out high pitched as he says it, the sound of his hips slapping against yours almost drowning out his words, but you hear him.

“Yeah, fuck, you feel so good Channie. Fucking me so, so good!” Tears collect at the corners of your eyes as Chan bullies into you over and over again, shoving you further up the bed. “You’re such a good boy for m-me, aren’t you?”

Chan’s eyes cross at your praise, biting his lip so hard he nearly draws blood just to keep himself from bursting inside of you at that moment. He nods like a madman, taking deep breaths to push back his orgasm. He’s so terribly close, but he refuses to cum without you.

He pants above you, eyes darting between your fucked out expression with your eyes rolling back and mouth hanging open, your tits that bounce with each force of his body, to between your legs as he catches sight of himself disappearing into your heat. He catches sight of the white ring of arousal you coat around his dick and he feels himself getting closer and closer.

He’s dizzy with lust for you but still manages to check in with you, forcing out coherent words to ask how you’re doing. You reassure him you’re okay, praising him once again about how good he feels.

“H-harder, Channie. Fuck me harder!”

As with anything else Chan does for you, he doesn’t need you to ask twice as he readjusts his knees before leaning forward to bend at the waist, making sure your legs are still secure around his waist. He leans down, his hands on either side of your head as kisses you, the new angle allowing him to thrust into you at a harder pace.

“Just like that, Chan! Fuck me like that!” Your words tumble out of you in a garbled mess, but he hears you loud and clear. The sensation of your nails digging into his back as you hold him closer sends him into a frenzy as he continues his brutal pace. His new position also allows his pelvis to brush against your clit hard enough to send you over the edge all the way.

“I’m - Y/n, I’m so close. I’m -”

“Me too, Channie, me too. Want you to cum. Wanna see you and hear you,” you cry out, each word almost cut off with a moan.

When you cum, your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape and your eyes squeeze shut, stars erupting behind your lids as your body almost convulses underneath him. Your muscles hurt with how hard your body stiffens and your brain only focuses on the drag of Chan’s cock against your hyper-sensitive walls.

The sight alone and your chant of Chan’s name has him cumming next. He pulls out, desperately jerking himself off over you before he panics.

“Wh-where can I?”

“Anywhere, baby! Anywhere you want,” As soon as the last word leaves your lips, Chan yells out your name, his warm seed spurting out and landing on your stomach, some of it even hitting right under your breasts as he milks himself over your body. If you weren’t so tired you’d suck him off to overstimulate him, but for now, you just admire how stunning Chan looks. Skin flushed and chiseled jaw clenched as he empties himself onto your sweaty body.

As he cums, Chan tears up a little because holy shit you’re the best feeling he’s ever felt, and being inside of you is like an out of body experience. He’s no virgin, but this is the first time he’s slept with someone who he has such a strong emotional connection with. It’s the best thing he’s ever experienced in his life, he thinks.

Once he’s released everything he possibly can, Chan rolls off of you and flops next to your spent body. 

“Holy shit,” you mumble, taking a deep breath. “I think my soul has officially left the building.”

“Oh, I know mine is gone. It was gone the moment you let me kiss you.” Giggling, you glance over at Chan who’s already looking at you.

“I’ll always let you kiss me now. How can I not?” Chan grins wide enough at you that you think his mouth should probably hurt. The thought makes you breathe out a laugh.

Chan tilts his head at you. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Just admiring how cute you are,” As if not expecting that answer, Chan gets a little shy, eyes looking away from you as you see the tips of his ears reddening. You can’t help but lean up and place a kiss on his ear and he jumps at the light peck. “Come on, cutie. Let’s get cleaned up and ready for bed. You can sleep in my room tonight and we’ll wash your sheets tomorrow. Sound good?” 

Chan nods so aggressively, that you almost question how his neck is feeling. He reaches for his tissues on the side table and wipes the cooling cum from your body. He then helps you up from the bed and tosses you one of his towels, wrapping one around his waist. 

When you have the towel covering yourself, you both step into the hallway only to freeze when seeing Hansol coming down the hall, and he stops too. He takes notice of the two of you, standing there holding towels over yourselves, and lets out a laugh. He takes his headphones off and lets them drape about his neck, the sound of “All the Small Things” filling the silence between the three of you.

“I take it the mistletoe worked?”

You and Chan share an incredulous look before turning back to your brother.

“You put the mistletoe up?!” You gasp. You had just accepted the fact that you put it up and forgot, but it’s nice to know you aren't going completely insane.

“Well, it was Soonyoung’s idea. He called earlier and told me to put it up somewhere both of you would end up. I wasn’t sure at first, but it looks like it worked.”

“I mean…kind of. But I have so many questions.”

“Ask them later. I’ve been home for a little while but didn’t wanna come into the hallway and uh, interrupt.” Hansol frowns and continues on to his room. Your brother halts his steps before going in and fixes you both with a look. “Oh, and I only have two things to say. One, Chan, if you hurt my sister I will kick your ass. And I’m telling Cheol hyung,” Chan lets out a small squeak and salutes Hansol, promising he’ll treat you like a queen. Hansol nods and then continues. “And two, can y’all like, I don’t know, leave a sock or something on your doors when you’re gonna do this? I came in and heard some noises I never want to hear my sister and best friend making ever again so just give me a chance to put my headphones on.” 

“Ugh, sorry,” you grunt, your face heating up in mortification. 

“Yeah, yeah whatever. Glad you guys can stop trying but failing not to flirt in front of me. Now goodnight and please keep it down for the night, I’m begging you.”

You and Chan promise your brother that you’ll be considerate and he thanks you before shuffling into his room for the night.

“He took that better than expected,” you observe as you and Chan move into the bathroom.

“Yeah. Honestly, I was expecting him either to be grossed out or do something very out of character and hit me or something.”

You snort, turning on the shower water and hanging up the towel you’ve been holding against your body. “Hansol hasn’t swung on anyone or anything since he was at least seven and that was at our old neighbor’s bird because it tried to land on his head.” 

Chan cackles at the thought, but it’s quickly replaced with a low sigh as he watches you tuck your hair into a shower cap to keep it from getting wet. Watching you stand in front of him, naked and just existing comfortably makes both his heart beat out of his chest and his dick uncomfortably hard. 

You at least can notice the latter, eyes playfully observing his length between his legs. “Someone has an impressive bounce back period.” 

“I can’t help it. I have a beautiful, sexy woman standing naked in front of me. What do you want me to do?”

The bathroom isn’t that big so when you brush past Chan, it’s not hard to brush against him. Your thigh grazes his erection and he groans louder than intended, slapping his hand over his mouth when the sound comes out. You can’t help but giggle as you slip into the shower watching him still stand there and gawk at you.

“What you can do is, come join me in this shower and fuck me against this wall, but only if you can be way quieter than you just were.”

The sentence doesn’t even have a chance to finish completely before Chan is practically leaping into the shower, body crowding yours against the tile wall.

“Anything for you, Y/n.” He peppers your neck and shoulder with kisses, biting the skin as he goes.

“Mmm, you have got to stop saying that to me, Channie. You’ll spoil me.”

Chan pulls away, eyes meeting yours with the most serious expression you’ve seen from him since he confessed his feelings for you earlier this evening.

“Good. I want to spoil you and I will until I physically can’t anymore.” Chan rests his forehead against yours, taking a moment to enjoy being close to you as the shower water warms your skin.

“Only if you let me do the same to you, baby.” His eyes flutter at the pet name and you love the way it seems to make his skin flush more.

“Thank you, Y/n.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know, existing? Making me the luckiest man in the world? All of the above?” It’s your turn to get sheepish at his words, playfully pushing against his firm chest.

“Thank you, Chan. You treat me differently from so many other people I’ve been with and you make me feel special.” You hope he understands just how true your words are. The way he’s treated you since you moved in has been with nothing but care and affection, even before knowing he still likes you. Chan is a truly amazing guy and you consider yourself lucky that he wants you in his life like this.

“You are special and you should feel that way. I’ll make sure to keep doing it. And I’ll make sure you feel amazing and special in every way.” Warm hands slide down your body and slip between your legs to rub gentle circles against your clit. The whiplash from the tender moment to the not-so-tender startles you for only a moment before it’s replaced with want as Chan works you up.

Chan’s dancer hips are something to be studied and worshiped with the way in which he drills into you under the spray. You had teased him with being quiet, but you’re the one that needs to sink your teeth into the thick skin of his shoulder to stop from yelling his name.

He laughs between thrusts, but when you clench around him in retaliation, his pace falters and he pouts down at you. You kiss his pout away, keeping your lips together as you both cum, swallowing the possible noise complaints you’d have received otherwise. 

Even if Hansol had lectured you both about your noise level, it’d be worth it, especially when you see the blissful look on Chan’s face as he gazes at you. Eyes full of wonder, tiredness, and above all else, love. Even though it hasn’t been long at all, you’ll be surprised if he can’t see the same shining back up at him.

Time seems to fly by, and Christmas suddenly creeps up on you. Thankfully, you finish your shopping before the last minute and get everything you need to, done. You and Chan spend the time leading up to it doing as many cute, coupley things that you can think of while Hansol does his best to not be a third wheel. He rarely ever is, but you’re thankful for the support from your brother nonetheless.

On Christmas morning, Chan is up first, already wide awake and looking at you when you open your eyes. It’s cute if not a little surprising at first. He at least lets you brush your teeth and make yourself decent before ushering you into the hallway. He knocks loudly on Hansol’s door as he passes, telling him it’s time for presents. 

His excitement is incredibly endearing and it warms your heart to see him so eager to sit you down on the couch and present you with your first gift from under the Christmas tree. The first box is a small square, secured with a red sparkly ribbon. When you take the lid off, a CD looks back at you in a red, jewel tone case. You smile as you take it out and turn it over, seeing a note on the back along with the tracklist.

Songs for the only woman who’s ever owned my heart. Merry Christmas, Y/n.  Love, Your Channie

Tears prick your eyes at the gesture. It’s a small gift, but it’s personal. You don’t think you’ve had anyone make you a mixtape and yet again, it just proves how sweet Lee Chan is.

“Thank you Channie,” you pucker your lips and he eagerly leans down to kiss you, almost tripping into your lap in the process. “Oh!” He jumps up, running back to the tree for another box, this one wrapped in white ribbons. Inside is another rectangle box, but in that is the gift. 

“Chan?!”

“You like it?” He asks, taking the bracelet out of the box before you can answer. He gestures to your wrist and you present it, letting him clip the shiny, diamond tennis bracelet. “The sales lady said they’re really popular for the “special ladies in your life” this year and I thought you’d like it since you like pretty jewelry.” You give Chan a watery smile, stopping yourself again from nearly crying. Instead, you get up and pull him into a hug, squeezing his waist hard.

“I love it, thank you Chan,” When you pull away, it’s your turn to go to the tree to retrieve his gifts. 

“But I’ve already gotten the greatest gift I’ve ever wanted in my life,” he gestures to you with a flourish, making you roll your eyes.

“Oh yeah? Guess that means I should return these presents then huh?” You dangle both boxes in the air, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean…you already bought them and wrapped them though so you may as well just…” he makes grabby hands at the boxes and you can’t help but laugh, handing over both gifts to him. 

The first one he opens has a shiny silver watch in it that you saw in the mall with Jinah weeks ago and thought of him. It’s your turn to help him as you put it on his wrist, both of you admiring it. He mentions that it’s the nicest watch he’s ever owned and that he’ll never take it off.

When he gets to the other small box, he opens it to see an envelope sitting in the middle of the tissue paper. Curiously, Chan opens it pulling out what’s inside and he nearly passes out.

“Michael Jackson tickets?!”

“Yeah! I heard people at work talk about it like two months ago. He’s going to be in Seoul this summer! I was getting them for you whether we ended up together or not because I know how much you love him. You deserve it!” You beam at him and watch as tears well in his eyes this time. “Aw, Channie!”

Chan jumps from the couch to pull you into a bear hug at the same time that Hansol comes into the living room.

“Hyung, I have to tell you now, but I’m going to marry your sister,” he says in a serious tone.

“Chan!” Laughing, you squeeze his arms, trying to wriggle from his grasp.

“Fine as long as you still stick by my rules.”

“Hansol!” Both men purposely ignore you as they discuss your fictional wedding and Chan brags about his concert tickets. The whole moment fills you with an indescribable warmth, even when Chan finally releases you and lets you sit on the couch.

You didn’t anticipate that you’d end up here when you first thought about leaving your career, but you’re glad you did. You wouldn’t want to be anywhere else other than here on Christmas with your two favorite men.

“The ball is going to drop soon!” Seungkwan announces to your group. He turns the volume of the TV up as the countdown shows on the screen.

It’s New Year’s Eve and your large group of friends is huddled in Jinah’s living room to ring in the New Year. You hadn’t known where you’d be ringing in the year 2000 initially and had anticipated it’d be at home, but with Jinah and Joshua dating and being almost inseparable for the last two weeks, she found herself hanging around the rest of the guys as much as you have and since her apartment is the biggest, she had everyone come here.

You’re sitting next to Chan on her couch as you pull your drinks closer. Seungkwan and his partner sit together holding hands, nervously checking the clock on the wall and looking back at the TV. The two of them, Seokmin, and one of their other friends named Mingyu all found out about Y2K around the same time and have been preparing for it leading up to tonight. No matter how many times you, Hansol, and Joshua try to tell them you’ll all be fine, you let the group of conspiracy theorists have their beliefs, knowing once the new year rolls in, they’ll be fine.

Chan often makes fun of them, but you also never miss the way his eyes widen when they talk about the computers exploding and the world ending.

“Three…two…one, happy new year!” Everyone’s voices echo throughout the room as you count down to the new year together, noisemakers and cheers following.

Chan turns towards you, his lips meeting yours as you share your first kiss of the new year. His hands cradle your face, tilting your head back just the slightest to deepen the short yet sensual kiss.

“Happy New Year, Y/n.” He says against your lips.

“Happy New Year, Chan.”

Around the room, the rest of your friends are pouring more champagne and you catch sight of Seungkwan and his partner still sharing their New Year’s kiss, both smiling, likely in relief. Joshua and Jinah are on the other side of the room, her head resting on his shoulder as they watch the fireworks on TV. Chan redirects your attention back to him to kiss you once more, this one quicker yet just as sweet.

And just like that the world doesn’t end, much to Seokmin, Mingyu, Seungkwan’s (and Chan’s) relief, but your new world with Chan in it has just begun. You’re looking forward to what the new millennia and life with Chan will bring.

Net tags: @kflixnet @kbookshelf | Taglist: @aaniag

[sorcerousundries]

Well, my girlfriends in a band

Baldurs gate band Au!

Includes: Lae’zel, Minthara, Karlach, Shadowheart

Content/ warnings: none

Content under cut

Lae’zel - guitarist

Modern Lae’zel! who has your initials scratched on her guitar strap

Modern Lae’zel! who shows you her solos a week before the album released

Modern Lae’zeal! who looks for you in the crowd or backstage and sends you a small wink

Modern Lae’zel! who took you axe throwing for your first date

Modern Lae’zel! Who takes you for ice cream at 3:00 am

Modern Lae’zel! who plays her guitar for you and genuinely wants to know what you what you think about certain riffs

Modern Lae’zel! who doesn’t go clubbing after concerts, instead she cuddles with you in some random hotel bed watching cheesy romcoms that make her snort instead of grimace

Modern Lae’zel! who pays for a backstage pass for you despite you saying that you could pay for it yourself

Modern Lae’zel! Who hates everyone but you

Karlach - drummer

Modern karlach! Who play fights with you in the dressing room after a concert, even though she’s sweaty and gross

Modern karlach! Who sends you long paragraphs throughout the day ranging from how practice is going to how much she loves you

Modern karlach! Who posts you on her public story even though her PR team advises against it

Modern karlach! Who saves you a concert ticket anyway even if she knows you can’t come

Modern karlach! Who sends you silly pictures saying “this is us”

Modern karlach! Who always hears you despite her hearing being impaired from years of drumming

Modern karlach! Who sits behind you with her hands on your wrists showing you how to play a simple beat

Modern karlach! Who always flexes on stage, making fans go wild but she’s only ever looking at you

Modern karlach! Who always mentions you during interviews

Modern karlach! Who’s grin grows impossibly wider when she sees you in the front row

Modern karlach! Who everyone loves but she only loves you

Minthara - bassist

Modern Minthara! Who fights back a smile when she sees you in the crowd

Modern Minthara! Who sits behind you as you massage her tired fingers

Modern Minthara! Who has her hair tied up on stage but only lets it down for you

Modern Minthara! Who holds you to her side as interviewers ask her about band gossip

Modern Minthara! Who lets you run your fingers across her rough, calloused hands

Modern Minthara! Who is notorious for being the hardest member to get an autograph from but always gives you one when you jokingly ask for one

Modern Minthara! Who rants about her riffs (she’s definitely not complaining she definitely is)

Modern Minthara! who has multiple ear piercings and barely puts in her own jewellery anymore because you do it for her before she goes on stage

Modern Minthara! Who scowls when you call karlach her “work wife”

Modern Minthara! Who actually likes to be annoyed by you

Modern Minthara! who is annoyed by everyone but never you

Shadowheart - singer

Modern shadowheart! Who tries to sneak your name into song lyrics, wether it’s subtle or not is another question

Modern shadowheart! Who can’t help but turn to face your side of the crowd whenever a particularly romantic spill of lyrics comes up

Modern shadowheart! Who writes you notes and leaves them in her dressing room for you

Modern shadowheart! Who wears matching earrings with you

Modern shadow heart! Who sings under her breath when she’s focused

Modern shadowheart! Who pinches your cheeks when you compliment her in the dressing room

Modern shadowheart! Who screams about bugs but ends up being the one forced to kill them

Modern shadowheart! Who thinks about you while writing songs

Modern shadow heart! Who tells dad jokes during interviews but runs them by you backstage

Modern shadowheart! Who mutters a quick prayer before going on stage to soothe her nerves

Modern shadowheart! Who is the center of attention but her attention is always on you

[cherryblossombombs]

I have an issue with the "the giga cover is likely fujobait" because I can't help but think:

if it was truly fujobait, why now?

Why try to get their attention if MHA is now in the 100M club? The series now so popular, hori/jump doesn't need queer shippers to increase its popularity.

Why try to get fujos and queer fans, if it's already popular in that group? Wasn't it apparently shown that MHA is more popular with women and LGBTQ+ fans?

Why try to get that audience when hori had the chance to do that back in 2016-2018 when Kr//bk was the popular gay ship? Wasn't there an interview where someone pretty much asked hori if he's for kr//bk, but instead of playing along, hori made it about bkdk (the ship that no one took seriously at the time) and said he saw the hand hold more about bkdk angst. Kr//bk was a popular ship, it had bones making official art of them. The smash parody manga had moments of it. Two heroes was their movie [I believe hori didn't really help in that movie. However, notice how in the second movie, (he was a part of that one), focused on bkdk (again, the ship no one took seriously)]. Hori had the ability to use that ship as bait, but he seemed to be the only one out of everyone else to not go for it. Instead he kept pushing for the ship that was thought to be too toxic to even become a platonic ship.

If horikoshi did not want bkdk to seen as romantic, why isn't he stopping jump for implying it? You really can't say that he has no ability to, the guy went to bones and told them the ending. Now, notice how bones suddenly stopped making iz//ch moments and added a bkdk moment in the recap episodes (something that they would never do 2 seasons prior). The assistant (whom hori is friends with) is a loud speaker of dkbk lol. Hori follows him on twitter, there's no way that hori hasn't seen his dkbk art once. Same for katsuki's JP VA (who is also a friend of Hori).

Why try to bait the audience when the manga is ending?

Idk, maybe there's a chance he is actually queerbaiting and make iz//ch canon, but again, after everything?

After the togachako arc? He had made ochako confess her crush on midoriya, only for seconds later to not only brush it off as unimportant (unimportant in the sense of it was more of way to relate to toga and speak with her, it wasn't really used as a "canon izu//ocha" moment), she tells toga that she could have ochako's blood for the rest of her life (and we know that's toga's love language of returning/accepting her feelings) and she told toga that she had the cutest smile in the whole world. Like, didn't hori say that toga was made for ochako's character? I feel like it wouldn't make sense for hori to do all of this, then have ochako end up with midoriya, it would feel like a middle finger to toga tbh.

After chapters 285, 322, 362, 367, 403, and 404? The apology? The "you're the closest one to midoriya izuku, therefore I need to kill you in order to make him go crazy". The heart shaped black whip after seeing bakugou's dying body? The "their feelings became one" double spread? this bullet point could be spread to about 2-3 document pages, but I'm just going to summarize for this post lol. But overall, these chapters (and a few more), show me (imo) that it the "fujobait" claim isn't really strong to use against bkdk.

Again, maybe this is queerbait, because I know that there are times where other media/anime have done simliar and still had the MC in a heterosexual relationship, and leave everyone dumbfounded lol. Once again, all I say to this is "let's see what happens."

P.S. Isn't this the same author who said that he thought that naruto was going to end at 698 (the implied SNS ending) lol? Idk if it's true, that's just something I've heard.

[justmeinadaze]

We're a Family Part 21 (Steddie X You)

A/N: Angsty thoughts have once again entered the chat. ENJOY!

Warnings: Dads Steddie/ Fem Mom Reader, SMUT, pegging :), dirty talk, handcuffing, FLUFF, all the love that comes along with these six and Dylan being the best big brother.

ANGST, the Munson-Harrington spouses are trying to get Ro into a good school and shenanigans ensue. Y/N's mom comes back on the scene. The main theme of this angsty reading is parents feeling like they would do anything for their kids without fully realizing what they think is best may not actually BE the best thing.

Word Count: 6695

Eddie pets your head as you, he, and Aurora sit in the lobby of the private school you were hoping to get her into to. You and Kierra had gone to schools like this growing up and you two always had fond memories of your time there. As your daughter got older they had programs that you felt like she would enjoy since she was such a creative, free spirted soul. 

Because it was a private school, however, you guys did have to take a tour, meet the faculty, and then the parents were interviewed. That’s why Steve suggested you and Eddie go alone. 

“What? Why?”

“Because if they find out about our living situation, it could…complicate things.”

“But you’re her father to, Steve.”

“That being the case, maybe you should go instead of me, Harrington.”

“No. Eddie, you agree with him?!”

“Sweetheart…”

“I wouldn’t be able to go. She doesn’t look like me. She’s your clone, Ed.”

“Baby, everything’s ok.”, Eddie tried to soothe.

“Steve should be here.”, you mumble.

“Yeah he should but Hawkins sucks, Y/N. This is just far enough outside of the city limits that they wouldn’t know about us—”

“You say that like we should be ashamed or something.”

“That’s not what I’m saying and I know you know that.”

“We raised her to understand that our relationship is okay. We shouldn’t have to fucking hide anything. Plus, you know she’s going to tell everyone. It’s not like it will be a secret for long.”

“For Aurora Munson-Harrington.”, a recruiter calls with a big smile. 

Without saying anything, you grab your purse and your daughter’s hand leaving Eddie to follow behind.

***

“Hey, how did it go?”, Steve asked as soon as everyone came back. 

“Dad, the place is BIG! And they have a lot of paints. I like school!”, Aurora shouted excitedly. 

“Oh, give it time, brat. You’ll hate it later.”, Dylan teased as he focused his eyes on the video game in front of him. 

“Ugh! Dylan, I’m na a brat! I’m a good girl.”

“Yeah, you are, princess. Hey, go watch your brother play for a little bit so we can talk.”

Steve’s gaze shifted between you two as your jaw tightened and you gripped the counter behind you. Eddie was using his serious voice and you heard it in his tone as well, preparing for the heated discussion to follow. 

As soon as she ran away, he turned to face you.

“You are extremely lucky that interview went well with your fucking attitude. I thought you wanted her to get in this school.”

“I do but—”

“But what? Because you tone and demeanor made it seem like you were completely uninterested.”

“We shouldn’t have to lie.”

“This isn’t about us, Y/N. This is about her.”

“Exactly. She doesn’t see anything wrong with having three parents. Why do we have to hide it? Me loving you two has nothing to do with her schooling or how smart our daughter is.”

“The world doesn’t work like that, honey.”, Steve sighed. “Eddie’s right. If this helps her then…we make that sacrifice. It’s a small one compared the other things and people we’ve lost.”

“Oh, ok. You’re right. Small sacrifice. So, anything school related, you’d be fine missing that, Steve? You’d be fine not attending something she’s really excited about? How would you explain that to her? ‘Sorry, baby. Dad can’t come because people can’t accept that you’re my daughter to. For the next hour, remember, it’s only daddy and mommy.’”

Steve stepped forward till his nose was almost touching your own. 

“Lower. Your. Voice.”

“Why? Am I wrong?”

“Do you really think we’re ok with this, Y/N? It fucking kills me I couldn’t go with you two today. I want to know where my daughter is going to be and that she’s safe. The three of us knew sacrifices would be made if we stayed together and stayed in Hawkins. This is one of those sacrifices and if it gets her into a good school where she can grow then so be it.”

“Dada?”

The two of you back away from each other as Aurora looks up at you with worried eyes. 

“Yes, honey. What do you need?”

“Can…Can Dylan and I have a snack?”

“Uh, not right now, baby. We’re going to have dinner in a couple of hours. Just hang on until then, ok?”

“Ok…Daddy? Did I do something bad?”

“No, sweetheart. You didn’t do anything bad. Mommy and I are just telling dad more about the school.”

“Oh. Okay. Dada, I wish you could have come.”

As she runs back to the living room both their eyes glance your way as you try to hide the frustrated tears that want to fall. 

“It’s not the same, Y/N. Just because I couldn’t be there today doesn’t mean she’s going to be heartbroken like Dylan was with Charlie. It’s not the same.”

“And we can figure out the events thing. Maybe after she gets accepted we won’t even have to worry if people find out.”, Eddie adds. 

Nodding your head, you walk away from them and close the door to the bedroom. 

***

“James, can you say Kierra? Kie—rra?”

“Ka, Ka, Ka.”, the baby babbles as he pokes at your sister’s face. 

“Yeah, that’s about right.”, she giggles from her place at the table the following afternoon. “So, I see you’re still upset.”

“How can I not be? Kierra, if I had known we would be hiding our relationship, I wouldn’t have suggested the school.”

“Wouldn’t that be selfish? I mean you guys can afford it now and it’s a really good place for Ro to grow.”

“But in the long run it would hurt her and Steve if he can’t go to events or she has to pretend only Eddie is her dad. Do you remember growing up and having to pretend that we were ‘high society’ to make our mom happy? It was fucking exhausting. I don’t want my daughter to go through that.”

The caller ID from the school pops up on your cell phone and you quickly reach over to take the call.

***

The guys had taken Aurora to the park so you could spend some time with your sister. When Dylan texted SOS to Steve’s phone, however, they quickly ran back home. 

“What’s going on, kid?”

“I don’t know but mom and aunt Kierra are outside on the porch. She got a phone call and I saw her crying.”

“Shit. Ok, here. Keep an eye on the other demons.”, Eddie tries to calm him as he ruffles Dylan hair. 

“Kierra! Stop telling me to calm down!”, you shout as they exit the back door. 

“Hey, what’s happening?”

Your sister sighs as you huff and look in the opposite direction as you dry your eyes. 

“The school called about Ro. They said they liked her and her personality but they overheard her telling the kids about her parents… Not only do they not like that you weren’t upfront but now they’re concerned about how the other parents will react if they find out. So…Aurora wasn’t accepted.”

Their eyes meet yours as your glare penetrates through their bodies. 

“We can find another school.”, Steve mumbles.

“You would know best, right?”, you retort sarcastically. “Are we going to pretend again or, oh, maybe we can mix it up this time. Maybe you and Eddie can go to the interview!”

“I’m, um, just going to check on the kids.”, Kierra murmurs awkwardly as she gets up and hurriedly heads inside. 

“So this is our fault?”, Eddie replies angrily as he lights a cigarette and leans against the porch banister. 

“If you BOTH had come with me and we were honest we could have assured them! Told them how we handle things in our town and at home. The three of us could have convinced them!”

“Yeah because we have such a good track record of doing that now.”, Steve scoffs. “Y/N, this isn’t a big deal. We can find another school if you still want to go down the private school route. If not she will be fine in public school. Dylan is.”

“Oh people say stuff about me all the time.”, Dylan adds startling everyone. 

“Jesus Christ! For real this time. You kids are going to need start wearing bells.”, Eddie pants after grabbing his chest. 

“I’m just saying. No matter where Ro goes people will talk. You told me once, mom, that you knew they would but you were willing to put up with it because you love them. I love them to so that’s why I don’t care. People can say whatever they want but it doesn’t matter.”

Steve smiles as he yanks the boy to his side for a hug. 

“Have you thought about talking to grandma? If you really want Ro in that school, she would most likely be able to sway them.”

“My mom doesn’t have that kind of sway in that area.”, he responds. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I meant…”, Dylan gestures towards you. “I don’t know what we call her anymore.”

“Weirdo, she’s probably the last person we should send in our honor. She doesn’t agree remember. And I swear to God Dylan Marshall if you sneak out and go talk to her I will break your legs.”

They boy chuckles at your threat as you smile softly in his direction. 

You don’t see it but the men you love exchange a look, having a silent conversation with just a glance.

##############

“Mrs. Y/L/N? You next meeting is here.”

“Ok, thank you, Debra. Send them in.” Your mother’s eyes widen with shock and confusion as Eddie and Steve enter her office. “Gentlemen. Why are you both here?”

“We’re here on behalf of our daughter and yours. Please, just listen to what we have to say and if you still want nothing to do with us or them we’ll leave quietly.”, Steve answers in an authoritative tone that has her curious. He waits for her to nod before digging into his wallet, pulling out the picture of Ro he keeps inside it, and sliding it across her desk. “Her name is Aurora.”

“I know. Y/N mentioned her name when I saw her at the bar four years ago.”, she responds softly. “She looks like you, Mr. Munson.”

“She’s a good kid. She laughs a lot, loves to draw, and is also incredibly loving. She loves to hang out with her older brother and teach her younger brother new things.” 

Eddie hands her the photo he keeps of all three kids and a small gasp leaves her lips. 

“Dylan has gotten so big…”

“Yeah. He’ll be sixteen soon. Can’t believe it’s been almost ten years since we met him and Y/N.”

Both men softly smile at the memory as her bottom lip quivers slightly while she continues examining the photo. 

“What’s the baby’s name?”

“James.”

“Yours I imagine, Mr. Harrington. He seems to have your smile…Y/N’s nose, for sure.”

Eddie and Steve glance at each other, allowing the “yours” to slide even though James is both their son. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N, last week we took our daughter to be interviewed at the school Y/N and Kierra went to. Well, Eddie and Y/N did. We…”, Steve gestured between them. “…thought it was best if they didn’t know our home life so she could get in.”

“Well, that was stupid. Knowing that school, they’d rather you tell the truth than lie.”

“Said the woman who values appearances over her family.”

“Eddie.”, Steve snaps. “Mrs. Y/L/N, she was denied but Dylan thought, maybe, there was something you could do to get them to reconsider. We haven’t told Aurora yet that she didn’t get in and all she’s been talking about is how excited she is to start school and make new friends there. If there’s anything you can do…or we can do…please. We’d do anything for our kids.”

“You remind me of my husband. He used to say the same thing all the time. One of things I always adored about him was the love he had for the girls.”

Eddie bit his lip and turned away as his knee began to bounce anxiously. Steve rests his hand on his leg, hoping your mom didn’t notice his sudden jumpiness.

“Thoughts, Mr. Munson?”

“No, ma’am.”, he sighs as he turns towards her and smiles. 

“I love them both to very much.”

“Is that why you stay away?”

“Eddie…”

“Mr. Harrington, I want to hear what he has to say.”

The metalhead sits up straighter as he fully gives her his attention. 

“She still cries over you two not being in their lives, you know? When she found out she was pregnant with Aurora she said she felt alone because she had no one to tell besides Kierra. It kills her that her father didn’t get to meet any of her children but what hurts her even more is you CHOOSE to stay away and even worse one of her kids, Dylan, is aware of that to.”

“We’re highly aware our relationship is taboo but we just want what’s best for these three.” Eddie points to the picture. “That’s why we adopted Dylan after his own biological father basically abandoned him. That’s why we worked hard to become better. I own the mechanic shop and Steve became a teacher.”

“That’s why I didn’t go to the interview.”, Steve sighed. “Even though it fucking killed me. Y/N’s afraid that Aurora will experience the same heartache Dylan did when Charlie never showed up for his games or school stuff and I assured her it’s not the same. Truth is I felt like my dad by not going. It would just destroy me if any of my kids thought for one second I didn’t care about what they’re interested in.”

Eddie reached out to rub his arm comfortingly causing Steve to flash him a small smile. 

“We’ll, um, let you get back to work. Thank you for hearing us out.”

“Mr. Harrington. Mr. Munson.” They stop as they rise and she hands them back their photos. “I never wanted my girls to struggle. Growing up in Hawkins I’m sure you’re aware that people gossip. I never wanted that for them. As parents I’m sure you also understand that…I thought I was doing the right thing… I thought if people saw them a certain way…”

“People always saw us a certain way… trailer trash and preppy rich boy. You daughter never saw that. She only ever saw Eddie and Steve. If Y/N thought the way you did she probably wouldn’t have even given us the time of day. Two random guys living across from her listening to loud metal music and working low wage jobs.”

“God Ed, I don’t even want to think about that.”, Steve sighed. 

“I’ll…I’ll see what I can do with the school but I can’t guarantee anything.”

“We understand.”

##############

“Hey, where have you two been?”, you ask from your spot at the table where you were feeding James and Aurora lunch. 

“Dada. Da. Da.”

“Look, Daddy. I drew this for you.”

“Aw, thank you, princess. Where’s Dylan?”

She points in the living room and when they look that way they see his arm lift up to lazily wave making them smile. 

“Honey, why don’t you go finish your lunch with him over there?”

“No, dada! Dylan will eat it all.”

“I will not!”

“YEAH YOU WILL!”

“Ok, ok. Just…go away so the adults can talk bad about you.” She giggles at Eddie’s joke as she grabs her plate and starts to run that way. “Slowly please.”

“What did you two do that we needed the kids to at least be out of earshot?”

“We took Dylan’s advice and went to talk to your mother.”, Steve answers calmly.

You couldn’t help but smirk as you shook your head, wiping James’s mouth before giving him more food.

“You know, the Munson-Harrington spouses really struggle with boundaries when it comes to parents.”

“She said she’d talk to them. She also agreed with you…that we all should have gone.”

“Well shit, Eddie. I guess that makes everything ok.”

“Y/N…”, Steve began with a rough tone but exhaled as he tried to control his temper. “Y/N, what do we need to do to make this better?”

“Ma, ma.”, James coos as he reaches for your hand that had been hovering with his next bite.

Shaking your head again, you put his spoon back on the plate and slid it over to Eddie. 

“Can you finish feeding him please? Thank you.”

Without saying another word, you got up and headed for the bedroom. 

#############

“Dylan, are we different?”, Aurora asks her brother from her spot on his bed.

The young boy swivels around on his gaming chair so he could give her his full attention. You had been headed up stairs to tuck her in but as soon as you heard her question, you paused and took a seat on the top step. 

“What do you mean, brat?”

“I talked to some of the kids…at the place mommy and daddy showed me…they said they only have one daddy.”

Eddie noticed you sitting and silently asked what you were doing. You motioned for him to quietly come sit beside you and he obliged. 

“Yeah, we’re a little different but that’s ok. Being different is cool. Plus, we’re all happy. Are you happy?”

“Yeah!”, she giggles making you smile. 

“Good. Now if anyone is every mean to you because we’re different, you tell me and I’ll beat ‘em up for you.”

“Dylan! No!”, she laughs harder causing Steve to poke his head around the banister. Tip toeing, he climbed to where you both were sitting and sat on the step below yours just between your legs. 

“Oh, yeah. I’ll bring James with me to.”

“No! James is too little… Dylan…why would kids be mean?”

“Because people sometimes react badly to things they don’t understand. That doesn’t make it ok but…”, he sighs. 

“A-Are kids mean to you?”

“Sometimes but it’s ok—”

“No! It’s not ok. I beat them up! Leave my bra-der alone!”

“Shhhh!”, Dylan laughs as he scoots closer to her. “That will stay between us. Mom will kill me if she found out I taught you that.”

Your head tilts as you silently nod and both men grin at your reaction. 

“I was going to say it’s ok because I have you guys now. Did you know when I was your age it was just me and mom?” He widens his eyes playfully as she does the same. “Kids at school would make fun of me because I only had a mom. That’s how I met Noah actually. He defended me.”

“I don get it. They were mean because you had no daddy an now they’re mean because we have two?”

“Weird isn’t it?” Dylan laughs making her smile. “That’s why I say, as long as you’re happy who cares what people think because, honestly, it’s way to complicated to make those other fuckers happy.”

Smacking Eddie’s shoulder, you get to your feet and casually stroll into his room. 

“I heard that. Between you and Eddie, we’ll have enough money in the swear jar to send Aurora to college and have some left-over for James.” Both kids cackle as Dylan, smacks a dollar into your hand. “Come on, little miss. It’s time for bed.”

As you lift her in your arms, both men start talking outside on the stairs loud enough for everyone to hear. 

“You know Steve, if she’s going to be starting school soon we need to get to work building that tower to lock her inside and—Oh, hey, Ro.”

“No, daddy! Dylan and mommy won’t let you. Right?”

“That’s right, my love.”, you smile as you kiss her forehead. “Who’s reading to you tonight?”

“You, mama.”

“Traitor.” She giggles at Eddie, waving her hand at them both as you carry her into her room.

***

“What are you looking at so intently?”, the metalhead asks as he steps out of the steamy bathroom drying his hair. 

“Huh? Oh, I’m looking at other school options for Rara.”

Eddie grins at Steve’s casual pronunciation of how his daughter says her name. Now that she’s gotten older, she’s gotten better at saying it correctly but occasionally he’ll still call her that making everyone beam at him. 

“You don’t have faith in her mom?”

“I just want to be prepared. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of closer options around here.”, he sighs. “My mom suggested a school they almost sent me to but she’d be living there and I’ll be damned if that’s going to happen. Plus, the tuition is insane.”

After sliding on some boxers and jumping onto the bed beside him, Eddie tenderly kissed the man’s shoulder before looking at the computer screen with him.

“Good to know you’re not one of those preppy douchebags, Harrington.”

Steve flashed him a sassy smirk leaning over to kiss his cheek. 

“That school is the only private school within a route I’m afraid.” Their eyes glance towards you as you saunter in and close the bedroom door. “Our only other options would be the one IN Hawkins downtown or driving an hour every day. Which, I mean, I’d do it for her if that’s what she wanted.”

“So, you don’t have faith in your mom either?”, Eddie sighs.

 “I actually do. Like Dylan said if anyone can change their mind it’s her. I’m just…sayin’. The only reason I know is because after he was born she thought a private school would be good for him but Charlie and I didn’t have that kind money then.” You climb up onto the bed facing them as you cross your legs. “I think it all worked out though because the classes he takes at Hawkins High he seems to like.”

Steve closes the computer and places it off to the side as they give you their full attention. 

“You hurt my feelings.”, you sigh. “I’ve never once thought about hiding our relationship to get something done.”

“That’s not true.” You glared at Eddie as he spoke. “We hid our relationship that whole first year we were together. When Steve’s dad thought you were just with him you didn’t correct him.”

“That was different.”

“How?”, Steve countered. 

“Your dad was berating you. I didn’t want to make that worse and when it came to us that first year we were afraid Charlie would use that to take Dylan.”

“So you lied for your son? Yeah… that’s what we were doing for Ro.”

“Steve should have been there…”

“Yeah, and you needed to be there for Dylan. We can play this game all day, Y/N.”, Steve argued causing you to fold your arms in frustration. “We make sacrifices for our kids. Obviously, this one was unnecessary but… we thought this is what was best.”

“So did my mother when she told us to tell people that our mom runs a ‘sophisticated company’ and our father is a ‘businessman’. My dad was a mechanic like you, Ed, and my mom IS pretty high up in the company she works for but she would make people believe she was like CEO or some shit.”, you roll your eyes. “Kierra and I had to be ‘little ladies’ which was stupid because none of the kids were proper like how she claimed. Another reason I liked it.”

Eddie reached out to caress your cheek making you smile. 

“It was exhausting. I don’t want that for her. I don’t want her or James to pretend to be people they aren’t.”

“What about Dylan?”

“Pfft, have you met our son? He’s always been himself and then some.”, you laugh. “Remember, this is the kid that stood up to your father twice and told him he was mean.”

“God, yeah. First time anyone ever stood up for me. That was also the first time he said I was his dad.”, Steve gently grinned as Eddie rubbed his back. “I hated it to, Y/N. You have no idea how much I hated not going to that interview. My dad never went or participated in anything I did…like at all. It practically killed me when she came in and said she wished I could have gone. She sounded so sad…”

“Steve, your dad didn’t go to your stuff because he was selfish. You are nothing like him. Same with Eddie. When I saw your dad…I agreed with Steve. After meeting him and your mom, I have no idea how you came out so amazing.”

“Wayne, mostly. On the outside he always seemed like a hardass but he’s a good man. Then I met Stevie here. Add you and that heathen who moved in across from us and you get the man I am today.”, Eddie beams widely making you two laugh. “Without Wayne, I’d probably be an asshole who ended up in jail to.”

“I don’t think so, babe. Your heart is too big.”

“Soooo… are we friends again?”

“Nope. I’m going to hate you forever.”, you joke with a smile.

“Mhmm.” Steve and Eddie look at each other before playfully tackling you flat to the mattress making you laugh. 

“So, if you hate us then that means you don’t want us to make love to you tonight, right? Because we can just go to bed and—”

The metalhead smiles as you cut him off with a passionate kiss.

“Is it ok…if we…”, you blush as you point towards the closet making Eddie chuckle harder at your bashfulness. 

“Still? The strap on STILL makes you all shy?”

“Eddie, don’t tease her. She’s had a rough couple of days.”

“Fiiiiiine.”, he whines as he rolls off the bed to grab the toy. 

“You know, if you’re going to be mean, I think we should use these to.”, you smirk, digging into your bed side table drawer and producing the handcuffs.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, princess.”

Steve gently pets your head and kisses your temple before tugging on Eddie’s hand, yanking him to the mattress and taking hold of his wrists. As he secures him to the headboard, the metalhead tenderly places kisses along the man’s chest making him bite his bottom lip. 

“’Bout time you had to wear these.”, he jokes as he leans down to quickly kiss the boy’s lips and climbs to the edge of the bed to help you get into your device. “You almost got it this time, baby.”

“These straps here confuse me.”

“Don’t worry, honey. I got you. We’ll always be here to take care of you.”

Cupping his cheeks in your hands, you softly kiss his lips. 

“I’m sorry for snapping at you…at both of you. I should have explained myself better.”

“Hey, don’t worry about that anymore, ok? No matter what happens we’ll figure this thing out together.”

You nod as you glance towards Eddie who smiles and nods his head as well. While Steve guides the one end of the toy inside of you sex, you groan as you cling to him, a shaky breath escaping from his as well. 

“Wow. That slid into you so easily. We haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already so wet.”

“I’m excited to use this again.”, you whisper.

“Yeah? Well, why don’t you use Eddie’s pretty little mouth and I’ll get his sexy ass ready?”

Your grin grows as you give him one more kiss and climb back onto the bed near the long-haired boy’s head. Placing the silicone near his lips, he opens his mouth, and gladly takes you in as you slowly thrust your hips forward. Hearing him groan, you glance towards his lower half, and see Steve casually stroking Eddie’s length as his teases his entrance with his tongue.

“Does that feel good, baby?”, you ask as you pull yourself away.

“Y-You have no idea. Fuck.”

Mewling at his whimpers, you thrust the toy into his mouth again as you watch Steve lift the other boy’s legs, practically folding him in half as he continues to lick inside of him while occasionally spitting into his hole and pushing it in with his fingers. 

“Shit. You two are so sexy together. I’m gonna cum.”

Continuing to pump Eddie’s cock, Steve leaned forward to capture your lips sloppily with his own as you chased your high. Panting into his mouth, your body shuddered as you came.

“Are…are you…okay?”, you coo as you back away and tilt down to move some of the metalhead’s hair out of the way. 

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m perfect.”, he answers in a gravely tone that has you swooning as you kiss his lips. 

“Do you want to take him or do you want me to and then you take me?” Steve chuckles lightly as he watches your breathing stutter at the second option before grabbing the lube off the nightstand and handing it to you. “Give me a minute.”

Opening his legs wide, both their mouths fall open as Steve gradually pushes his cock into the other man’s entrance, falling forward to tenderly kiss his lips. 

“Jesus, Eddie. You always feel so good, baby.” Eddie’s dick twitches at his words making the other boy smirk as he casually rolls his hips, watching as the man tugs at his restraints. “You want to touch me? Can’t you feel me already, sweetheart? Because, fuck me, I can feel every part of you.”

After placing the lube back in on the table, you gently brush some of Steve’s hair away from his eyes. 

“Are you ready?” Silently he nods and you take your place behind him, firmly taking hold of his hips. 

As you slowly push the toy into him, a moan leaves his lips that has your pussy clenching around the end inside of you. 

“How does that feel, Steve?”

Eddie’s eyes scan over the man’s features taking note of the blissed out state he was currently in. 

“She asked you something.”, he whispers causing the other man to lick his lips as he tries to form a coherent thought. 

“I…good…too good.”

Holding onto him, you pull your hips all the back before thrusting forward hard and he falls into Eddie’s neck to muffle the scream of pleasure that wanted to be heard. Working his own rhythm, as you continued to pump into him, Steve pushed back into you and down into Eddie causing you both to moan and whimper. 

“I…I’m not gonna…last long…FUCK! E-Eddie, you have to feel this.”

Steve chases his high and you pound into him, trembling as you cum. After a few more rough thrusts, he collapses on his husband’s chest as he fills him up. He mewls as you try to gently pull out of him, caressing his back as you do.

Moving out of the way, he comes up beside you and almost manically places wet kisses along your neck. 

“So fucking sexy, pretty girl. Do you need help?” After you nod, he pushes you closer to Eddie while holding his leg up by the knee. Lining you up, Steve guides you into the man underneath you.

“Oh, whoa!”, you stutter, catching your palms on Eddie’s stomach. 

“Jesus fucking Christ…”

“Eddie, baby, I’m so sorry. Y-You’re so wet. I—”

Steve’s hand lightly covered your mouth as he kissed your cheek. 

“Look at him, honey. He’s falling apart in a good way.”, he murmurs making your eyes flutter shut. Straddling Eddie’s waist, he reaches behind him, and guides his cock into his body. 

“Oh fuck y—”

Steve smiles as he cuts off the boy’s profanity. “Shhh! Baby, I know. I know it feels good. You have to be quiet though.” Eddie nods as the man lifts his hand and places them on either side him on the mattress as he bounces on top of him. “Just keep looking at me, okay?”

Your own pace began to quicken as you wrapped your arms around the man in front of you for leverage, rolling your hips hard as you slammed into him. Steve felt your forehead rest against his equally sweaty back and he reached up to rub your arms as your pace faltered before coming undone behind him. 

As he mumbled under his breath, Eddie did something he had never done before. After releasing his spend inside of the man above him, he began to softly cry like you had done a few times. 

“Eddie? Are you okay? Do you need anything?”, Steve whispered as he hovered above him. 

You had known these men almost ten years and you already knew exactly what he needed. He groaned as you pulled out of him and crawled up the bed to release him from his binds. The handcuffs clattered to the mattress as Steve quickly climbed off him and Eddie rolled on to his side, tugging you into his embrace. 

Feeling you wince, he blindly unhooked the straps on your hips and gently removed the toy before tossing it to the end of the bed. Doing what they did with you, Steve laid behind him and wrapped his strong arm around you both as he petted your hair and kissed Eddie’s shoulder. 

After a few minutes, he finally released you from his hold and kissed your forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you to.”, you beam up at him. “Did that feel good?”

“So fucking good.” The metalhead grins when he hears Steve’s throaty laugh. “I’m not going to lie…I’m way to fucked out for my legs to work for a bath.”

“Well, thankfully for a bath, you sit.”

“A ha ha, Harrington. I just want to lay here and be clingy.”

“I’ll get a towel.”, the man whines as he playfully rolls his eyes. 

#############

A knock on the door the next morning startles everyone as you quickly get up to answer it. 

“Mom? Hi. How did you—”

“Wayne told me where you guys were now. I hope I’m not intruding. May I come in? I have some news.” 

“Um…”

“Hi!”, Aurora shouts as she pushes past your legs towards the front door. “I’m Aurara. It’s very nice to meet you.” She extends her little hand to your mother who grins as she shakes it. 

“Excuse me. Who invited you over here?”, you tease as your turn her towards the living room. “Go get your dads, please.” 

She giggles as she waves at your mom before doing what you ask. You gesture inside and she thanks you as she steps into your home, taking a look around. 

“I, uh, told Mr. Munson she looks exactly like him.”

“Yeah, she has his energy to.”, you reply as you lead her through the kitchen to the table. 

“We were summoned?”, Eddie jokes till he sees he sees your mom and glances towards you. “Everything ok?”

“She said she had some news.”

Her smile grows as Steve ventures in with James in his arms.

“Goodness. Seeing you two side by side, I don’t think these kids got any of your genes.”

“That’s what I keep saying but…”

“He does have your nose though which is your dad’s nose.”

“Dada.”, James coos as he pats the man’s chest.

“Is that the only word he knows?”

“Why are you here, mom? I’d rather get this out of the way and have you leave before they get attached to you. I’m not going to let you hurt them the way you did Dylan.”

Both men take a seat as Steve reaches for your hand. 

“I, um, got Aurora a second interview at that school but their stipulation is that they meet all of you. They actually said they loved her a lot. She has a bright personality and seemed eager to learn. When she talked about you three, it was nothing but positive things especially when it came to her dads. So, yeah, she hasn’t gotten approved but I think if you three go in there strong, I don’t see why they wouldn’t.”

“Thank you. We appreciate you doing that for her.”, Eddie replies. 

“How is Dylan? Is he here?”

“Not for you, he’s not.”, you growl. 

“Look, Y/N, I understand—”

“No, see the thing is you don’t understand. Our entire life you never understood what it was like to have to constantly pretend to be something you’re not. To feel like I had to lie to make you happy. I did that my entire life and the one time I did something that made ME happy you disappeared. Not only did you disappear but you sided with Steve’s asshole father and threw a tantrum around town.”

“I know how this town can be! I know that there are many people like Bill who would cause problems! When I married your father my own parents disowned me for ‘marrying trash’!”, she sighed.

“Sounds familiar.”, Eddie murmured. 

“It’s…It’s not the same.”, she stammers.

“How? When you first met them you said Eddie was trailer trash with a bad reputation because of his father and that Steve was lazy and immature. Charlie was a cheating, dead beat dad but somehow these two were worse.”

Tiny fingers touch your face and you turn to see James’s big honey brown eyes scan you over.

“Ma… mama.”

Falling into your arms, he wraps his little limbs around your neck before leaning back to make small kissing motions on your nose till you can’t help but laugh.

“James, my love. You are getting slobber all over mommy’s face.”

“Y/N…I’d like to try… with you and Kierra.”

Situating your son, your eyes lock with hers. 

“Can you accept my relationship with these two?”

Her gaze shifts between them both as they sit up straighter.

“We’re not Charlie, Allen, or Bill. We love her and those kids and we’re not going anywhere.”, Steve affirms. 

Your mom Spidey sense tingles as you turn towards the stairs. 

“Weirdo, may as well add your two cents.”

Dylan comes into view and places himself beside Eddie. 

“We’re a family.”, he shrugs. “I think I speak for my mom as well when I say we’re a lot happier as Munson-Harrington’s then we ever were as anything else.”

The metalhead circled his arm around his son’s waist as the boy pats his shoulder. Aurora skids into the room and places a piece of paper on the table in front of your mother. 

“Here you go! I drew this for you. I hope you like it.”, she blushes. As she turns to run back into the living room she hits Dylan’s hip who promptly turns to run after her. 

Your mom softly smiles as she looks at picture your daughter drew. 

“Next weekend, after the interview, maybe the six of you could come by and tell me how it went… you, your children, and your husbands.”

After walking her out, you ask Dylan to watch the kids so you can make lunch. 

“I’m going to freshen up real quick. Please for the love God, be nice to each other.”

“No promises.”, you son jokes as he pokes his sister’s side making her laugh. 

Both men follow you into the bedroom and as soon as the door closes, you fold into Steve’s chest and let go.

“It’s ok, honey. Everything’s ok.”

“This is a good thing, sweetheart, and hey this doesn’t absolve her off the past five years but it’s a step in the right direction.”

“Oh, baby, did you hear that? Eddie’s breaking out the big words.” They smile when you laugh. “He’s right though. If you still decide you don’t want a relationship with her that’s alright. The kids still have Wayne and my mom.”

“Which reminds me, I need to scold my uncle. He didn’t warn us or nothing!”

Releasing Steve from your grasp, you turn to cling to Eddie.

“I never thought I’d ever hear her acknowledge you two that way. I love you both so much.”

The sound of Dylan calling out to his brother followed by James crying pulls you three apart as you sigh. Eddie kisses your lips before Steve does the same. 

“We love you to, Y/N.”

################

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[coldfanbou]

Internship

So this was an old request "Winter secretary for the new CEO, she really hopes that her boss will be a man that can ride her hard here and there but to her disappointment the boss was a woman, she likes either with strap on or real dick, but her boss was to tense, and that stress her so when a new male intern being appointed to help her job she already knows this will be her prey for every night and she will savor it deliciously, and she will make the intern stay in her condo to breed her." There is the original request. I did make some modifications. Please enjoy. There's some self-degradation, a slight breeding kink, and some rough sex.

Length 2.2K

Winter X Mreader.

At her new job, Winter had hoped that she would have a boss that could fuck her. She always loved being fucked in an office where someone could walk in. It didn't matter to her if it was a strap-on or a real cock. She just wanted to get fucked. When she met her boss, they couldn't have been further from what she wanted. It was a middle-aged woman who was the most intense person Winter had met. It stressed Winter, just being in a room with her for less than a minute. When she was assigned an intern to help her with her work, Winter couldn't help but smile. Her dream of being fucked on the job could still be a reality. 

During the interview, you were asked many questions, most involving answers that ensured you would be dedicated to the job. This was despite being just an intern. You watched as a beautiful woman stepped into the interview room at the final stage. She was younger than the others and dressed much more casually. She wore a black tank top with a knitted gray long sleeve over it. You note her shoulders were still revealed. Instead of the usual pants or a skirt, she wore black sweatpants. "This is Ms. Winter. She's the one who would be leading you with work." The main interviewer said as he motioned to her. "I'm sorry for calling you on your day off."

"Don't worry about it. I understand that I'd need to show what I do. I can take it from here; I'll be back with him in 30 minutes."

"Yes, thank you. We'll be going out to lunch in the meantime. Here are our notes on the candidate."

"Thank you, enjoy your lunch." As the interviewers leave the room, Winter's gaze falls on you. "I think you'll do very well." You could hear some excitement in her voice as she said that. "Come along; I'll show you to my office." As you walked through the busy cubicles, you looked at everyone as they rushed around the room. When you turn back to Winter, she's skipping along with her hands behind her back. You enter a short jog as she enters her office in the corner. The heavy metal door swings closed behind you as you barely skirt inside. Winter walks toward the full-length glass. "It’s a wonderful view, isn't it?" She turns her head back to catch you in her peripheral vision. "Come here, take a look." You stand nervously beside her. You look down at the people below; they all look so small from the sixth story. As the building rested on a large hill, you could look over most of the city and see the tops of other buildings. Focused on the landscape before you, you barely notice Winter sneak behind you. What draws your attention is the metallic sound of your belt buckle being undone. Her finger reaches up to your lips, keeping you quiet. "Please be quiet and just enjoy. It's not like everyone less would be able to hear you, but I find the silence nice." Winter drops your pants and reaches inside your boxers. Her soft hand wraps around your cock, "Oh my, you're so big, and you're not even hard yet." Winter's other hand, works on undoing the buttons of your shirt. "Help me a little, would you?"

"Ms. Winter-"

"Just call me Winter."

"Winter, this isn't appropriate."

"Consider it as part of the interview. I need to know if my intern can do their job right. Besides, don't you want this? I saw you look at me earlier." Winter's hand starts to stroke your cock as she continues to speak, "Don't you just want to fuck me? Stretch my little pussy with your big hard cock, and make me scream your name. Doesn't that sound nice?" You start imagining it, your cock slamming into Winter's small body. You begin moaning her name. "That’s a good boy," she whispers into your ear. "Now unbutton that shirt for me." She commanded. You followed your orders, and once your shirt was gone, Winter ran her hands along your body. "Ooh, that's nice; you'll do great. Now let's free that cock of yours." 

Winter slowly pulls down your boxers and your cock springs from its painful constraints. "Just keep looking at that scenery; let me get you off." Her hand recaptures your cock, stroking you slowly, moving from base to tip. As you coo, Winter giggles. "That's it; enjoy my soft hands gliding along your cock." As she reached your tip, her thumb moved around the edges of the head.

"Fuck, Winter, that feels so good."

"Keep watching that skyline." She ordered as her hand continued to play with your cock. You could feel her lips plant small kisses on your back as her left ran across your body. Your cock began to throb in her hands, and your balls tightened. "Cum for me, baby; I know you're close. Cum for me." She repeated. 

"Fuck."

"It’s okay, baby, cum on my pretty little hands." She whispered. Unable to hold on, your release all the tension coating Winter's hand in your cum when it was by your head. The rest of your cum landed on the window. Winter continued to stroke your cock, making sure you gave her everything you had. Once your orgasm was over, she had a taste of your cum. "So salty and warm," she commented. "Just what I needed, but we're not done just yet. Sit on my chair." Winter led you by your cock, her hand squeezing your head. As you sat down, she told you to enjoy the show.

 After kicking off her shoes, she unbuttons her long sleeve, letting it fall to the floor afterward. She teases you by lifting her shirt just enough to let you see the bottom of her breasts before letting it fall back down. Her hands are on the waistband of her sweatpants as she turns away from you and bends over. She pulls them down slowly, revealing her pink panties with a large wet spot. Stepping out of her sweatpants, she flings off her tank top to reveal her perky breasts as she turns back around, her light brown nipples already hard. "Let me get out of these before I really ruin them," she says as she slowly drops her panties.

Winter steps forward, falling to her knees just in front of you. As she scoots closer to your cock she licks her lips. "Now, here's where we both get to enjoy ourselves." Her eyes wander upward until they meet yours. "I want you to facefuck me."

"What?"

"You heard me, facefuck me. Make me choke on your cock; use me."

"But."

"No buts, this is going to be our relationship. That is if you do a good job. It's going to be give and take between us. I use you; you use me. Sounds fair, doesn't it? Now fuck my face, baby." Winter opens her mouth, her tongue sticking out. Her expression is filled with lust, practically begging you to use her. Taking hold of your cock you slide it into her awaiting mouth. Winter's tongue slides along the underside, moving from side to side. As you hit the back of her throat, she moans. You enjoy the feeling of her warm mouth being wrapped around your cock. Her tongue tries to taste as much of your cock as possible while you hold her down. With your hands on her head, you start bucking your hips, ramming your cock further down her throat. You notice Winter's hand playing with her pussy as you use her. You're aroused by seeing her become submissive and move faster. The tightness of her throat feels like heaven to you as she chokes on your cock. Tears form on her face as she struggles to breathe. Winter's hand grips your thigh as she tries to stay on your cock. Eventually, you let her breathe, and a thick coating of saliva runs down her face and down her throat. Breathing heavily, she says, "I'm good, keep going," with a smile.

You continue, your cock hitting the back of her throat as she takes it all in. Soon enough, you feel another orgasm coming. You stand up from the chair and put more force into your thrusts. Winter moans, feeling you grow rougher with her; her fingers plunge deeper into her pussy as it leaks her sweet nectar onto the floor. 

"I'm cumming, Winter, drink it all," you groan as you hold her head to the base of your cock and start filling her stomach with your semen. Winter's body trembles as she goes through her orgasm. The grip on your thigh grows weaker until she eventually lets go and places her hand on the floor. As you pull out, you hear Winter laugh. It's a delirious laugh as she sticks her fingers in her mouth and sucks on them. It was just for the sake of having something thing in her mouth.

"Mmm, that was nice," she moaned as she rocked back and forth. Winter struggles to stand and uses her desk to stand. Laying her head against the wooden desk, Winter calls to you. "Get over here and fuck me, baby. Fill my tight little pussy with your big cock and breed me." She shakes her ass, her pussy glistens with her sweet nectar, and it draws you in. You rub your cock against her folds basking in the sensation. Winter whines, "Don't tease me." You place your cock at her entrance and then slam your cock into her. "Oh Fuck!"  You hold onto Winter's hips and bring her back as you move forward. Winter's mouth is agape against the desk, drooling. "Fuck me harder. Oh, fuck! I love your cock; I fucking love it!" She cries out as you use her for your pleasure. Gone was the image of a businesswoman, and in was the sex toy. Winter's pussy was stretched by your cock; you felt her walls be split apart with every thrust. 

"Fuck, you're so tight, Winter." You moan as you continue thrusting. You give her ass a few spanks as you continue. Her ass jiggles from the strike, and you hear Winter's moans get louder. You deliver another hard strike, and Winter's ass starts to change colors to a rosy red. You slow down for a moment to enjoy the feeling of Winter's pussy clamped down on your cock. "I'm going to shape your pussy just for my cock, Winter." 

"Do it, baby, make my pussy yours," she says with a smile. You grab her hips and start thrusting again, moving at a quick pace. Winter's entire body shakes. "Fuck! Fuck me, baby!" She moaned as her body was being split in two. Both of you start to feel your orgasm build. As your cock throbs in Winter and you tell her, she screams to cum in her. "Do it! Pour your cum inside my womb! Put a baby in me!" Impaling Winter with your last thrust, you paint her walls with a thick layer of cum. You're breathing heavily as you pull out, and your cum almost immediately starts to flow out of her onto the floor.

"So, how was I?"

Winter slowly raises her head. "You're perfect. We'll work very well together."  She says with a wink; she staggers to her panties and puts them on. "Can't have your cum leaking out," she says in a shaky voice. While you help Winter into the rest of her clothes and fix her hair, you have a small conversation. "You're just what I was looking for."

"Really?"

"Yeah, when I came here, I was hoping I'd have a boss that could fuck me like I'm a slut. That didn't work out. Our boss is a scary woman; she stresses me out. I can't be with her for more than a minute. Lucky for me, I got a little helper for my work." 

"Yeah, I guess you did."

"We'll get our work done early so we can spend the rest of the time having sex. I have my condo nearby, so we could always go back to my place afterward and keep the fun going."

"So…about the breeding thing."

Winter laughs, "Don't worry, I'm on birth control." She gets close to your ear as she buttons up your shirt. Whispering, "But if it turns you on more, I'll stop taking them. I wouldn't mind being bred by a stallion like you." She finishes with the last button and says she'll come back to clean the mess. "Let's go; our time is nearly over." Walking back through the main office, people are still going around doing their business. "Oh yeah, I might've alluded to it, but my office is completely soundproof. No one outside is going to hear us." As you enter the interview room again, you see the two interviewers waiting. "I apologize for being late; I was amazed by how quickly he became accustomed to my work. He's definitely the one for the position."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, I'd like him to start tomorrow if possible."

"Well, what do you think? Are you available to start tomorrow?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well then, welcome aboard."

Winter shook your hand, "I trust we'll get along very well."

[totallynotokguys]

Instead of just spilling all of my thoughts on Ultraman: Rising, I'm going to just share my favorite quotes from characters.

Mind you! These aren't the most profound things the characters said in the movie. It's just what stuck out to me.

Sato Kenji: "I really appreciate you showing up, I do. But this doesn't make you ultradad. We're not suddenly gonna be best pals."

On its own, this quote sounds harsh, but the way Ken says it and the vulnerability of his body language impacted me. Kenji is being honest, he's not starting this new chapter with his dad by pretending or ignoring their problems. There is hurt between them, and making jokes as if none of that exists will help no one.

From someone who has experience with this kind of hurt and the pressure to joke and pretend it doesn't exist... I really appreciate the example that Kenji shows us. Nothing can be mended if there is not honesty, even if that honesty is harsh. Acknowledging where the relationship is broken is an important step to reconnecting.

Dr. Onda: "Captain. You look exhausted. Go home to your family. Get some rest."

I've heard other people say it, and I'm going to say it as well. I love that the antagonist of this movie is a good man. He cares about his workers and he values family. This quote stuck out to me because I totally expected Onda to have just been saying this to get the captain out of the way so he could do something underhanded and evil behind everyone's backs. But that did not happen. That never happened. Dr. Onda remains upfront and honest, protective and caring to those under him through the whole film. He truly cares and his wickedness (attempting to exterminate an entire species feels wicked to me) comes from a place we can all understand.

Sato Hayao: "Yes, but it was just one day."

Oh, the regret in his voice when he says this! This quote comes off of such a sweet moment where Ken is actually reminiscing about a really happy memory he has with his dad. And the dad can totally see this as a win, his son is thinking positively about him. But Hayao has a profound realization in this moment. Yeah, it was a good day... but it was just the one. So much lost time between them, and the tears in Hayao's eyes as he looks at his son show his regret.

Mina: "I am a terrible babysitter."

Mina says a lot of important things and helps Kenji come to profound realisations. She's as much the heart of this movie as Emi is... but I chose this quote. Why? One, it made me laugh. Two, Its the only thing she says about herself.

For Mina, all we have to gage her character is her voice. No body language or facial expressions. She's just a voice. So a lot of emphasis must be put on what she says and how she says it.

It is so important to me that as a baby kaiju wanders the streets causing mayhem, Mina is regretting her failure as a babysitter. Her ability to care for others is important to her. She tries to keep Emi entertained, attempts to emotionally support Ken when he is distressed, and kicks Ken into gear to help take care of the baby Kaiju. Heck, one of our first interactions with her was Mina refusing to give Ken bear because it wasn't good for him.

Wakita Ami: "Looks like it's a night out with my girls."

Ami has just had a bad night. She just lost an interview she needs for her job and the guy she possibly likes who could become something more just ran out on her. She's a single parent juggling her job and family... and she deserves to be upset. But she focuses on the bright side, she opens her arms, and she celebrates that one lost opportunity for work means a new opportunity to bond with her daughter. This woman makes the best out of any situation and I love her!

As the daughter of a single mom who experienced situations like this, I appreciate the struggle single parents go through while keeping positive for their children.

Emi: "Rah-ooh."

Okay, so this isn't really a quote, but Emi is a special case. The opposite of Mina, Emi does not have words and voice for us to go off of. We cannot understand her clicks and coos, but we can understand her body language and actions.

I love this moment where Emi runs toward danger to protect a stuffed toy. This is her first heroic act (though not her last) and I think it says a lot about her character development.

Before this she's just been seeking her own pleasure and seen everything as a game. She runs after shiniest, throws tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants, runs down streets like she's running bases in a game.

But then she's attacked, and Emi goes through two arms, both very quickly sadly as they are covered in the training montage. First is new fear. Emi now knows true pain and fear which we see in her body language with a few scenes where her carefree baby toddler and stance becomes hesitant and curled inward. She is afraid to stand up straight after her injury, she is uncertain about new things, and she is slightly terrified when running simulations with her dad where she is being chased by KDF drones.

But the montage also shows how her dad, grandpa, and babysitter are their for her every step. They teach her skills to support and protect herself, and give her comfort and encouragement. And then we see the next step in her journey, Emi getting serious! Think of her serious lil face when she puts on those floaties, the power stance she takes to mega beam those simulated drones to pixels. Yes Emi still has fun and is still her cheerful self, but there is a new gravity to her.

Her family prepared her to protect herself ... But she surprised me and did something more. She protected others.

When the threat comes, Emi runs forward. Her dad tells her to run but she cries to him, her voice trying to tell him something he does not realise. The stuffed animal is vulnerable, left out on the beach. So Emi runs to its rescue, cradles it in her arms, and defends it against the attackers.

The movie emphasis how children learn from their parents, and thus far in the film it has been seen through her love of baseball. But that was the human side of her dad. Now we see an example of her taking after the ultraman side. Just look at her body language, her actions. Does the way she cradle the stuffed toy remind you of an earlier moment in the film? Does the tone of her coos sound familiar?

Like father, like daughter. Emi is learning to become a hero, just like ultraman.

[decks-writing-blog]

There's Nothing Wrong With You

Summary: Everyone's assuming Alyx and Gordon are a couple. They're wrong and it's starting to annoy Alyx.

[A/N] Originally I had the idea of writing a fic exploring why Eli assumes Alyx and Gordon are romantically inclined towards each other and how he wants to support Alyx in that as well as why he wants to specifically encourage it. And then it was gonna end with her coming in with a 'hey, this ain't it, please stop' and then it becomes a coming out story (it is pride month after all) in which she's supported. But I couldn't find a good opening so I decided to write it from Alyx's POV instead and just have it be the 'this ain't it' and coming out part but accidentally discovery wrote my way into this instead. Some of my salt about how little attention Alyx gets from the fandom and how the vast majority of the attention she does get is when she's being shipped with Gordon inevitably came into play. I suppose it was only a matter of time before it did because it bothers me kinda a lot. Please Half-Life fandom, pay more attention to Alyx; she's literally the main character of the story and she's cool, stop sleeping on her so much. I have to make literally everything I want to see fic-wise in this fandom (I already read almost if not all of what little was here already) myself.

~

Gordon was a good man. Alyx liked him. Of course she did, there was no possible way for her to not like him. They’d gone to hell and back together and then he’d gone to hell and back to bring her home. She’d never been closer to anyone she didn’t consider family.

Everyone assumed things about him and her based off how obvious all of that was. At first it hadn’t been a big deal. It had just been teasing and Dad’s occasional mention of wanting grand kids one day. But the further away they got from the Combine being kicked off Earth and Alyx’s return to it, the more people just assumed things. It wasn’t a question to be teased about anymore but seemingly an accepted fact by many both among the former Resistance people as well as the regular citizens.

Which was annoying but not that big a deal right up until their rebuilding efforts had gotten far enough along that it was decided a book needed to be published detailing the Combine’s expulsion from Earth. As an important part of it, Alyx was interviewed. The interviewer had focused a bit too much on her relationship with Gordon even straight up asking, “When seeing him for the first time was it love at first sight or did it take a bit longer?”

Even now, hours later, Alyx still stewed in annoyance – thinking about it so much wasn’t helping of course but she couldn’t help it. She’d handled herself well… mostly. Her frustration had shown through a bit more than she’d intended but she hadn’t embarrassed herself. But it still irked her. There was people making incorrect assumptions about her love life and then there was the way they associated her with Gordon; that her role in everything only mattered in that she was Gordon’s girlfriend. The interviewer hadn’t cared about the things she’d done or her other relationships; she was Gordon’s smart talented girlfriend and that’s what defined her as a person.

She had to talk to Gordon about it. Immediately hadn’t been an option. Gordon’s interview for the book was going much longer than hers had. Which made sense, he’d done more and wasn’t talkative so getting him to share a lot about anything took some time. And someone might have to be interpreting his signing. Or maybe they just had him writing stuff down. Regardless of the reason she sat on a nearby chair and waited until finally the door opened.

The interviewer came out first followed by Gordon and then Barney. Likely then Barney had been acting as sign language interpreter as he’d unofficially taken on that role. As soon as Gordon’s eyes caught on her, he abandoned that ending conversation and walked over.

She stood. “We need to talk.”

He nodded. Either an agreement that they had something to talk about or just an ‘okay’.

“Is now a good time?” The thought of putting it off any longer itched but he’d just got out of a long interview. Pressing him immediately into another conversation was a tall ask.

Another nod before he turned and waved Barney over. What he signed to him, Alyx didn’t catch from this angle.

“Uh… all right then. Catch up with you two later then.” With a hand wave, Barney turned and headed off.

Gordon turned back to face her. “The yard?”

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go.”

Luckily it was at that perfect time of evening when the base was still mostly empty and the few people who were around were busy with work around here or getting ready to go to wherever they called home. Meaning they didn’t encounter many people on their way through the halls, minimizing the amount of people who interrupted them to talk to Gordon. Sometimes when she was alone they wanted to talk to her – often about Gordon – but always when with him, they just wanted to talk to him. Other than that, the two of them didn’t say as they made their way along.

The yard was Dog’s new area, including his rebuilt house where he could plug-in to recharge. It was smaller than his old area back before City 17 blew up. But being so busy helping with various construction projects, he wasn’t in it as often so it wasn’t a big deal. Unfortunately he was off on one such outing right now, leaving the place feeling rather barren. Long gone were the days he’d just sat around guarding and playing with Alyx. He gotten smarter, resulting in him growing antsy if forced to sit around in one place for too long and he was too great a help to not be put to work moving heavy things. Everyone had to do their part rebuilding society after all. But still it’d be nice to be able to spend more time with him.

That complaint was small next to her main one though as she followed Gordon over the little table and chairs set in the corner. He in particular often came out here to be alone especially during mealtimes. She joined him fairly frequently so this was familiar.

Once seated across from each other they sat in silence for a little while. Her not knowing how to begin and him patiently waiting for her to figure it out. … It would make sense for them to be dating, wouldn’t it? She had every reason in the world to want to kiss him. But did she want to? She’d never considered such a thought before. Seen other people do it plenty of times but never thought of it as something she might one day do.

It’d be wet, wouldn’t it? Wet specifically with saliva. And his breath would probably be hot and who knows if it’d even smell good. Apparently sometimes tongue touching was involved somehow too. … Ew. Gross.

And then there were the other things couples often did. What would his hands feel like caressing her bare body and breasts? Dad wanted grand kids too so… The book Isaac had given her detailing sex and everything around it, including pregnancy had been thorough but also deeply clinical. Making it easy to not think about it as something that might happen to her. But when applied to real life, pregnancy sounded like something straight out of a horror novel. The thought of something growing inside her, feeding off her body, distorting and twisting it was nauseating. And not just because that’s similar to what the headcrabs did to their victims, realizing that comparison only made the idea more horrific. Why would anyone want that?

Also the act of getting pregnant, she didn’t remember what the book said well enough to recall all of what it had detailed about the physical act of sex and how it was done. The general thought of a penis going inside her made her tense up and pulled her legs tighter together. How could such a thing possibly be desirable?

Okay so, she didn’t want Gordon to touch her like that, not even a kiss. She certainly had no desire to carry his child, Dad would just have to live with no grand kids . But that wasn’t all there was to romance though, right? Dad and Isaac were dating and a lot of the time that manifested as looks, subtle touches, and the ways they talked to each other, especially when alone – it was hard not to accidentally overhear their flirting sometimes. Did she want any of that with Gordon?

What would ‘any of that’ even entail for them exactly? What made romantic love, romantic love? Books painted it as something different and the way people talked about their partners was often different than the ways they talked about their friends and family. Supposedly romance was this big grand thing but… why? What even was it? It was different from platonic or familiallove but in what way? One was supposed to just know, right? Why did it feel like such a foreign concept to her? Was there was something wrong with her for not loving Gordon the way everyone, including her own father, thought she did?

Gordon tapped the table between them, drawing her gaze back up onto him. “Are you okay?”

Damn, she’d been siting here long enough that it had grown awkward. “I uh… I don’t love you. Or no! I do, of course I love you, you’re my best friend. But… I don’t love you in the way everyone thinks I do. Sorry.” Her intention had been to express her annoyance with everyone’s assumptions about them and talk to him about correcting that misinformation but instead she was apologizing because what if everyone was right and she should feel that way? What if Gordon felt that way and she’d just broken his heart? “I don’t know if you uh… feel that way about me or whatever but… I just don’t. Sorry.”

His expression didn’t change, it rarely did. “I don’t feel that way about you and am relieved you reciprocate that.”

Alyx let out the breath she’d been holding before lifting her hands to respond in sign. Such wasn’t necessary but it always felt more polite and because of how often she did so, she’d gotten pretty good at conversing in sign language. “Really?”

He nodded. “I was starting to worry I would have to turn you down. It’s always an awkward conversation.”

“Is it a conversation you’ve had a lot?”

He shrugged. “A few times.”

“Do you not feel that way about anyone or… have you just not found the right person yet?” Was Alyx alone in not feeling such things? Or was something wrong with her? Maybe she was a lesbian. The thought of a woman kissing or touching her sexually felt just as gross though.

“No one. There is no right person. Even before… everything, I never wanted romance or sex. I want it even less now.”

“Is it normal to not want that ever? Is it normal to be… grossed out by the thought of it? It’s just… it never came up before. Stuff was always happening with the Combine and I never thought twice about dating or whatever. But now everyone assumes we’re together and for a moment I thought that… maybe we should be since that seems to be what’s expected. But then when I really thought about it, it felt gross. And I realized I don’t even really know what romance is supposed to feel like or whatever. Is that weird?” Was Alyx weird for feeling that way?

Gordon paused for a moment, his hands hovering in the air for a couple seconds before responding. “It’s uncommon but it’s normal. You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you.” It’s almost like he’d read her mind, dispelling that worry before it could even properly take root. If he felt that way too then it had to be just the way some people were, right?

“Thanks.”

He nodded. “Do you want to do more to correct people?”

“That’s uh… actually the thing I wanted to talk to you about, mainly. It’s gone a bit beyond being kind of annoying.” They should’ve done something to correct that notion before now.

“Okay. Also, you and the rest of the Resistance don’t get as much credit as you deserve. I fixed that in my interview earlier… or tried to.”

“That too. Dad’s the leader and like… barely anyone ever wants to give him credit for stuff.” He’d done a lot, including gathering up the Resistance and laying the bedrock that allowed all the big stuff she and Gordon had accomplished to occur. The only stuff Gordon had done entirely on his own was dealing with the Resonance Cascade. “This books stuff should be a good time finally get everything straight, huh?”

“Yes. I love you too by the way, as a friend.”

[theamityelf]

(Part of Makoto Kamukura AU, building from something I mentioned in this post, but not reliant on it.)

Kyoko doesn't believe him.

She doesn't believe him when he smiles, or when he laughs– even though he's practiced both, at length –and she doesn't believe him when he says he wants to spend time with her, next.

In fact, when he says he wants to spend time with her, she always responds, "Do you really?" in a snarky deadpan.

But she wants to spend time with him. However much she grimaces and doubts, he knows that she does want to spend time with him. She really wants to spend time with the original Makoto Naegi, but failing that, she does feel sentimentally about her alone time with...whatever is left. He knows it.

Even though she doesn't talk to him the way she would apparently talk to Makoto Naegi, with lengthy explanations and outpourings of her thoughts, so he can't get by just listening. They walk in silence a lot of the time, with sparse dialogue that feels like he's being interviewed. The others don't make him talk as much as she does. Their classmates don't, and the other Kamukuras don't.

He tries to be what she needs. She needs to be convinced, like the others are convinced, but she is the Ultimate Detective. It's harder for her. It's his responsibility to help her. It's his responsibility to overcome her talent.

(He tries to think of it the way they do: That he is Makoto and she is his friend. It would be bad if he thought of it the way Mahiru does: As a noble chore he undertakes out of respect for the one who gave him this body. As if he were maintaining a zoo that Makoto Naegi left for him. He doesn't feel that way. He doesn't feel burdened. He wants to be there for them because he wants to be there for everyone, and he's the only one who can be Makoto Naegi for them.)

So, he does his best to mean it. He tries to feel the joy he smiles with and the humor he laughs with. He tries to feel affinities and wants.

He can't find those feelings much. They come sometimes, when Sayaka hugs him or Taka claps him on the back. Because they mean it. They believe him. Accept him. He's happy to make them happy. He smiles, and it's real.

It's hard to feel happy with Kyoko. And the more he tries, the more she seems to see the inner machinery of how his mind works, and so the less she accepts him, and the harder it is to mean his smiles.

He opts for honesty. He knows she likes honesty.

"I'm trying to feel what I'm supposed to. But it's hard. I'm sorry."

Her cold expression softens slightly. "Do you feel anything else?"

"I..." He performs introspection. "I think so, but it's not useful. It doesn't help me be who I'm supposed to be."

"What do you feel?"

Honesty. "I feel...frustrated." He doesn't like that. Frustration is an angry feeling, and there are no pictures of Makoto Naegi looking angry. There are pictures where his brow is furrowed in concentration. Maybe he should say he feels very focused, instead. No. Honesty. Frustration is the feeling he has.

It's not supposed to be. The first think he feels about Kyoko shouldn't be frustration.

But Kyoko accepts the answer. She doesn't look upset. "Who are you frustrated with?"

"Myself. I'm supposed to be able to help all of you, but I'm having difficulty. I'm not supposed to have difficulty." He's gotten used to talking. It's like she's been training him for this moment.

"Hmm."

"What is it?" Did he answer wrong?

"I wonder if you're sure that's the true answer, and not just the 'correct' answer."

He understands what she's implying. He performs introspection. He realizes that she's right; it isn't really himself that he's frustrated with. But that's even more wrong. It isn't what he's supposed to feel. It's not right.

"Well?" she says.

Honesty. "I'm frustrated with you," he admits very quietly. "That you won't let me make you feel better. The others accept me, and it makes them happier."

Kyoko is just listening, her expression neutral and...receptive. It seems like honesty was the right choice. "Go on."

What else is true? "I...It feels like you're the only one who won't just let me be what you want or expect me to be. And that frustrates me, because...I don't know how to be anything else. I fit the shape of my container; I'm not made to have a shape of my own, and it's frustrating that you're making me try. I wish you would just tell me what you want me to be. Who would make you happiest?"

She takes a step closer. She reaches up and straightens his hoodie strings. "What I don't accept," she says, "is a version of Makoto who exists to please everyone else. The Makoto who never got frustrated with his friends isn't real and never was. But I think you're finding your way toward what is."

He...So, frustration was correct?

Kyoko's hands are on his shoulders, and she's looking him in the eye. Most of the others don't like his eyes. They haven't said it, but he can tell. He's considered wearing colored contact lenses around them, but he hasn't found the right shade yet.

She furrows her brow, but she doesn't look upset. After another second, she steps away and resumes their walk.

But not before remarking, "Everyone smiles for pictures."

[yuzukahibiscus]

Jewels of Takarazuka – Yuzuka Rei-san [Flower Troupe] (from Fujingaho May Issue)

This series documents the words of Takarazuka Top Stars, and their strength of living in the current age and Yuzuka Rei of Flower Troupe appears on this month’s issue.  Like a king that shines ever brightly on stage, Yuzuka-san appears on the photoshoot scene and we compliment her for having a flawless beauty like a deer in the wild. Then when she’s standing in front of the camera now, it seems like some kind of story is about to begin… Yuzuka-san speaks with carefully woven words and with a soft voice, talks about what she is thinking now.

Even if the acting is decided already every day, I just love presenting a new vibe to it

The one we admire in Shoujo Manga, the piano magician with fervent fans, the Broadway Star Dancer. With her gorgeous visual and delicate acting, Yuzuka-san brings such beautiful characters you couldn’t see in reality to life. If you watch her stage performances, you’d see that the world of dreams is here now……That’s what I firmly believe. When we interviewed Yuzuka-san, she was challenging to perform the famous work in Takarazuka Revue, the renowned musical of “MAYERLING”. It is about the tragic love story between Austria Crown Prince Rudolf and his lover Mary Vetsera. Yuzuka-san used to express it uniquely, “I don’t want [my performance] to look like it was cultivated artificially but to deliver one that is naturally moving”, so how did she feel when she was working on this famous musical?

“I’ve said that, haven’t I (LOL). I really like fresh air. So in the world that I’m portraying, even though we’d be doing the same things every day… That’s quite the opposite of what I said [about natural acting] (LOL). But even if we’re doing the same things every day, those first encounters and experiences are different every time. In contrast, even though it may be the first time I’m seeing some audience, I can feel that they’re the important people who’ve always known me… Performers and the audience can create some feelings and reactions together that not even we can imagine, and that’s something that I always find enjoyable. The premiere of this performance was 40 years ago. Even though there’s a little change in direction, the prologue song and the choreography was similar to how it was back then. I’d act according to what I understand from the whole setup of the musical. I won’t think about what I think is correct, instead I’ll continue to question my interpretation and delve into it more to act while thinking about it.”

In this musical with such intensity, you’d have to build up so much strength for the ending…

“Amidst the intensity and while continuing to maintain focused, there’s a unique kind of energy in musicals, surprisingly I’m not too overwhelmed by that. But while that builds up and accumulates densely, I think it’s difficult to overcome the “gap” or that “space” when [the tension] couldn’t build up well. Or maybe I should say, that it feels like those Jenga building blocks…… But the concentration the audience have for this musical is higher than before, so I felt that they also helped us create this ambience for us together.”

I want to walk a path that won’t feel like I’m betraying myself

This is perhaps the charm that’s only unique in live performances.

But in these 3 years, the previous situation was still unstable and as a leader she led the troupe to overcome very tough circumstances.

“I really thought that while I’ve been learning, I’ve already walked this far. Even in the same scenarios, I’ve come to learn that depending on people’s circumstances, there would be different feelings and the way we approach things also change. I know that it’s not good to just evaluate things while thinking only of ourselves. If everything was successful, I think it might be difficult to have the experience where everyone aims at “facing wholeheartedly towards stage performances” together…… so I thought I acquired a lot [during this time.] Whatever something happens, I want to be the person that people can trust in. Even if I covered it up, only I would know how I have dealt with that problem. Sometimes I may not know if I’ve made a wrong decision, and I won’t even know if that would be the best decision for that time, yet there must be something that I could learn from in failure. That’s why, I’ve decided not to do things that would make me lose confidence in myself. I often say be confident in yourself, but it’s difficult to believe in yourself without evidence. “Trust” might be a slightly different word, but I don’t try to deceive myself, instead I worked hard for it desperately… I wish I could feel that way without any hesitation,  and I would want to say that my underclassmen self when I was still trying to find that confidence.”

That delicate and soft feeling may be different from what she said a few years ago about “wanting to face my weaknesses earnestly”. 

“When we act, we think about humans, but it’s difficult to comment on whether they’re strong and weak. If they’re “weak”, they may seem negative at first glance, but they also may be someone that has great observation, a profound imagination,  and that they sincerely care only for a particular something. So “strengths” and “weaknesses” are two sides of a coin. If one believes too much that “I am strong”, that may instead lead to this pushing force that overwhelms oneself. So I’d say, it’s fine to be weak. Because humans are not born to be perfect. Rest a little, recover yourself, find your strategy to face your next task. When you find that strategy, if someone else has troubles, you could then help them. When I was playing as Rudolf, I really felt how greatly people impact others. That’s probably why I have such thought.”

Embracing her internal weaknesses with that resilient strength bestows her with the persuasion capacity on stage. Perhaps the Flower Troupe stage performances she lead will continue to shine radiantly.

MY JEWEL ~The jewel of the heart~

This is a photo of my nephew and my dog. “Even though they don’t always meet, but when they do, they’d always take a walk. My dog loves my nephew and is always smiling. My nephew leads the dog carefully like an adult when they walk together and I can slowly feel his growth. Now as I’m playing as Rudolf, I’d have to say, “Because of everyone’s great love, I have also progressed and grown.”

ON STAGE...

“ENCHANTEMENT –A Luxurious Perfume–” is a stylish  revue with perfume as the theme. This is a Takarazuka-styled revue wound in the gorgeous world of black tailcoats, silk hat and cane. Apart from singing and dancing, you could see her sometimes chic and sometimes sexy, that you couldn’t miss her out in any instant.

Next stage: Musical Romance “A Battlefield for the Two of Us” (Author/Director: Masatsuka Haruhiko)

In a stage of a fictitious federation formed by numerous autonomous states, this is about a young military officer with burning passions and how he struggles between the gap of the country and the individual, portraying his story of an “unacceptable” love and great friendship. Yuzuka-san says, “It’s very interesting learning from the rehearsal of Masatsuka (Hirohiko)-sensei’s musical. “War” is still sometimes that is relevant to us in this age, so I will cherish the importance of performing this production and do my best to create this production.”

[leupagus]

It's all fun and games until Hardy reminds everyone he is an undead eldritch horror

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

She put Daisy's remark about "true love's promise" out of her head for the next few days, pushing hard against the case; against Katie Harford and her stupid certainty; against Tom and his stupid certainty; against Hardy himself, although that was about as effective as punching a brick wall. Besides, he was looking bedraggled enough without her nagging.

It was a different sort of bedraggled than she'd seen during the Latimer case, or Sandbrook. There was none of the stretched-thin-ness, as though he were about to give out at a moment's notice. Now it was a coiling sort of tension in his movements, as though he were waiting for the chance to strike. It might have bothered her once; but sat across the table from Leo Humphries as he proudly recalled all the women he'd terrorised, the brutality he'd forced on young Michael Lucas, she was almost impatient for it to start.

And then it did.

"Makes you feel in control," Humphries said, smiling and serene. Ellie watched him closely and hardly noticed the room darkening, as though the lights had been submerged. The shushing pulse of the sea, never far off, grew louder. "For that moment, there's nothing else. Just you in charge. There's a moment where you're in harmony with the world, and it's just… beautiful."

"It is, isn't it," said Hardy. Ellie'd been focused on Humphries throughout the interview, his lawyer and Hardy on the edges of her vision, so it wasn't until the lawyer gasped that she realised something was wrong. She looked over at Hardy, who—

But he wasn't a who, in that moment. The thing next to her shifted and pulled at Hardy's bones from within, skin stretched and sagging in ways no living creature could withstand. And then it stood up, taller than Hardy; taller than the ever-shrinking room, stooped and looming.

"Power over someone, it's such a pleasure," it hissed. The cups of half-drunk water began to bubble and seethe; the recorder made a ghastly hissing noise and sparked out. "Someone pathetic and helpless, who can't even scream for help."

The lawyer made a dive for the door but Hardy was too quick for Humphries, arms twisting as they stretched across the room to pin him into a corner with one blue-grey hand clapped over his mouth, its fingers blackened with rot.

"But there's greater pleasures than that, Leo Humphries," said Hardy, through a mouth ruined and twisted, the jaw hanging at an unnatural angle. (Not unnatural, of course — nothing more natural than than a corpse.) "You can have all of them. I'll show you every one. Do you want that, Leo Humphries? Just ask me."

The hand lifted away and Humphries collapsed to the ground. "Please," he babbled, trying to crawl still further away, though there was nowhere left to go. "Please, please, no—"

Ellie was on her feet, grabbing at the thing beside her; even as she did she wondered why. What she could possibly do? Did she even want to? Wasn't this what she'd imagined — the rapist forced to endure horrors, fear and pain, with no hope of escape.

But instead it was Hardy who pulled himself back. Slowly, like the receding of the tide, the room expanded and lightened until it was real again. Ellie now held handfuls of cheap suit jacket, and Hardy's form contracted and folded in on itself until he looked almost, very nearly, human.

The door, still open from when the lawyer had escaped, fell off its hinges and landed with a clatter on the floor.

"You just had to ask," Hardy said, as Humphries shivered in the corner.

It was well past dawn by the time the paperwork was done. IT assured her that the confession had been recorded, even if there'd been a glitch toward the end of the interview that fried the device. The accused had been remanded to custody and his lawyer had requested a transfer — she was moving to be nearer her mum and dad, she said, in Northumberland. "I don't think I'll ever be back here," she said, her smile waxy and fixed. "Not ever. My firm will be in touch to provide him with new counsel."

Ellie finally left the station with enough time to get home and help the boys get ready for school, before going over to Trish's and telling her the news. Instead she sat down on the front steps, breathing carefully in and out and trying not to cry, or vomit, or scream.

He followed her, of course he did. Was she supposed to be afraid of him now? She'd been afraid of people before, even with her badge and her taser. For the past few years she'd been afraid of her own husband, though not as afraid as she'd been of herself. But as Hardy came closer she felt her heart unclench, the furious grief in her stomach dissolve.

"Ed Burnett's gone," he said. "And Jim Atwood." He paused; she could picture him now, looking down at her. "You okay?"

What a question. "No."

Hardy sat beside her, uncomfortable and comforting. "We have him now. That footage will send him down."

He was right; even if the confession didn't hold, even if Michael tried to change his story, those horrific videos had a solid chain of custody. Leo Humphries would stay in prison a long time.

Not long enough.

"He is not what men are," Hardy said. "He's an aberration."

"Is that what you are?" she asked, finally looking at him. "In there. Was that the real you?"

He didn't seem angry or offended. "It's all the real me, Miller."

"Is that why you told me about the iron and the wood and the ashes and everything?" She curled further into herself. "So if you go too far, I can—"

"I'd hope you'd arrest me first," he said. "Or at least talk to the Chief Super." When she didn't say anything, he shook his head. "It's my responsibility to not go too far, Miller. Not yours or anyone else's. Just mine."

"Then why tell me?"

"Because I trust you," Hardy said, as though it were simple as that.

Perhaps it was.

She untucked her hand from under her arm. He didn't move away as she put her hand to his jaw; the skin was cool and damp, as though he'd been standing too close to the spray of the ocean. "I don't know if you should," she said, holding back a shiver. It was too cold for June. Hardy's doing, maybe. Summers before him had been warm and grey, full of lazy mornings on the beach interrupted by a friendly pattering of rain. But there wasn't a cloud in the sky today. "I don't know if I'm worth it."

"You are," Hardy said, his voice low and soft, barely louder than the wind. The stubble on his cheek rasped against her palm.

Ellie shook her head. "I would've let you kill him. I think I even wanted it." She let her hand drop. "But I trust you, too." It felt like a confession. Or a promise.

[the-wanderer16]

Hello! I don't speak Spanish, so I'd like to ask you what is the translation of the real context of the bit in the ins that mapi posted thanking ingrid? Because I saw a media outlet on X that said: mapi said ingrid had to put up with her and sarcastically said that ingrid took her spot on the field. I feel very confused, if it's the media promoting untrue information then I feel angry, can you give me some answers? Thank you very much!

Hi, thanks for the ask but unfortunately I do not speak Spanish too, so most of my translation comes from google translate or from the kind Spanish fans that helps to correct them.

I'm not sure which media outlet post was it on X that you are referring to, but if you would share the link it'd be much appreciated.

However, I would like to point out that there wasn't at any point of time during the course of Mapi's injury that she had sarcastically said that Ingrid has took her spot on the field.

Throughout the course of the season, both of them have been very supportive of one another since day one.

I shall try my best to plot out a timeline for you.

Since the announcement of Mapi's injury 😔

Part 1: Ingrid's post on IG to support Mapi

Part 1: Mapi's reply - "I will teach you some center back tricks just in case😉🤍"

Part 2: Mapi's pre and post surgery shared on IG. Pic on left was shared by Mapi and pic on the right was shared by Ingrid.

Part 3: Overcoming the injury together (even when Ingrid needs to travel for away games or NT duties)

Part 4: Celebrating each other's birthday

Part 5: Winning everything together

Supercopas

Liga F

Copa de la Reina

UEFA Women's Champion League

Part 6: Always complimenting each other (some excerpts from interviews of Mapi and Ingrid)

Ingrid + Maria Tikas interview, when Ingrid was asked what have she worked on the most for this season.

What have you worked on the most?

"Tactics, left-footed technique, clearing the ball from inside the area... All these concepts. Also, Marc [Sellarès, the team psychologist] has helped me a lot to work on different situations on the field. For example, knowing when I can use my calm to bring the ball down instead of clearing it with my head. All this. And, obviously, Mapi [León] has been a great support for me."

2. Ingrid in an Norwegian interview

Ingrid when asked about Mapi in the interview:

"Of course she has helped me all along the way. She is an important supporter. I had to play in her position, so there is a lot to learn from her, says Engen."

Does she also offer harsh criticism?

"She's nice like that, she's more focused on what I do well. She is the one I go to if I wonder what I could have done differently."

3. Most recent interview with Mapi on her first game back after her injury

Mapi when asked about Ingrid's season and the technical difficulty which Ingrid had to cope with

"At no time was it noticed at a very low[level]. In the end the roles have been there. I think Ingrid adapted very well in this case because I think it wasn't easy due to the role I have in this team, being left-footed. I usually have a leading role in taking the ball out. I think it was not easy for her and she has adapted well and in the end she has understood perfectly. I think it's a very good season."

4. Mapi's appreciation post for Ingrid on IG

"And to you, Ingrid, for taking care of me, putting up with me, being there every day and giving me strength even though the season has been very intense for everyone and you already had enough with taking my position, I hope I have helped you "with my tricks" 😉😊 THANK YOU my heart. 🩷"

Here's the result of the text running through on Google Translate

Therefore, by no means was there any diminishing of Ingrid's effort and support on Mapi's part at any point of time. I hope the above proves and shows that.

All in all, I think Mapi's and Ingrid's love for each other are so big and unconditional. The moments that were captured of them both in this season (thanks to all the fans and Culés) are many and is impossible to be compiled within this one small post.

To end this off, I would like to share one of my favorite video of the couple from this season. I hope you'd enjoy it too 🫶🏻

Video credits to @Barcafemenifotos

[sweetasmarie]

“This should have never happened.”

Scenario with Rosie of Stray Kids (My OC)

Pairings: None

Featuring: Rosie Kwon, Stray Kids (Plus Woojin), Doni and Coni (idol room), and a cameo of ByungHo.

⚠️warnings⚠️: mentions of injury, and Rosie wearing a somewhat short skirt. Just imagine the outfit being similar to what Stray Kids wore in 190326 Idol Room Episode 43.

Word Count: 647

Rosie’s P.O.V

I looked down at my outfit that the stylist made me wear. The guys got to wear pants, but my stylist made me wear a skirt, while also making me wear a jean jacket to somewhat match with the members.

“Rosie, isn’t that skirt a bit too short?” Chan’s words made me pull on my skirt, hoping it would magically lengthen.

“I asked to wear at least shorts instead of a skirt,” I stated, “But she told me that I had to show off a bit more since I was the only female member of the group.”

We were doing an interview/variety show with Idol room’s Doni and Coni. I didn’t feel comfortable around them but it had to happen.

As we waited for them to announce us, Woojin stood close and took my hand, giving it a squeeze.

“And now we welcome Stray Kids,” Doni says to the camera, clapping as we walk into the room. Coni looked up and down at my outfit, making me scoot closer to I.N.

“Well first, why don’t you introduce yourselves like before, but name a fun fact about you.”

We each did, but when it was my turn, I decided to mention something fun. I mentioned how I helped create the choreo for Blackpink’s “Whistle.”

Doni told me to show off the dance, but I was worried since I had on a short skirt. Since I had on safety shorts though, I decided to just do it and see how things go. I chose to do all the members, focusing on each one during their lines.

When I finished, I was slightly out of breath but smiling as I loved making that choreo for the girls. Before I could turn around to look at my members or even Doni and Coni, I.N ran to me and tied his jacket over my waist.

“Wow, that was amazing Rosie. I can see why you are one of the main dancers of Stray Kids. Now, let’s begin the games we have in store. Whoever wins the games will get to have a free meal at your chosen KBBQ place.” Doni’s words made me realize just how hungry I was, even though I didn’t have to diet like the guys did.

We started playing the games, but at one point I was standing near Coni when he thought something was funny so he shoved me out of laughter. I lost my footing and fell, landing hard on my wrist which made a loud pop sound. My ankle made the same sound as I landed on it wrong too, causing me to yelp in pain.

Everyone crowded around me, but Chan lifted me slightly so that I could stand. Once I realized I couldn’t, he carried me to a chair that one of the producers brought out.

“She doesn’t need to sit. We just need to pop her ankle back in place and she will be good, right Doni?”

Doni looked over at Coni with a smirk, which made me really nervous. He walked over to me and took my ankle, rolling it before quickly popping it “back in place.” It only made the pain worse.

Well let’s just say the show ended right then and there. I.N shouted at Doni to stop, Woojin was glaring at Coni, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen Felix look so angry before. Chan had to hold Seungmin back, who looked as though he was ready to kill.

We all left. ByungHo, my manager, carried me to the van where everyone doted on me as soon as I got in.

“This should have never happened,” Chan stated, angry. Even though I didn’t use my words, I gave his hand a squeeze and nodded my head, agreeing with him. This shouldn’t have happened at all.

[soaringeag1e]

Escape {62}

Detective!Dean x Victim!Reader

Warnings: Language, Guilt, Yelling, Emotional

Words: 1,841

Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist - Patreon

"I shouldn't have done it." Sam tosses his salad together while listening to his brother continue to beat himself up over what had happened with you. "I knew it. I knew it was going to upset her and I should have just let it go." 

"You need to stop." Dean seems to ignore him as he grabs a lime from the little bowl the waitress gave them and squeezes it over his tacos. "It was a good idea, Dean, and you know damn well that if it were anyone else you would have done the same thing." 

"But that's just the thing, this wasn't someone else. This was Y/N. The woman that I'm going to marry. The same woman that I swore I'd protect from any more harm, and it turns out that I can't even protect her from myself."

"She'll be fine." Sam tries to convince him for the hundredth time. "I'm sure her and Sarah are becoming stress free as we speak. A girls day at the spa should do her good."

"I hope you're right."

-

Sarah was beaming as she watched the woman at her feet do her nails. The color was just as gorgeous as it was on the shelf and she was glad that she went with it. But when she looked over at you to see if you were enjoying yourself, she could tell by the look on your face that your mind was elsewhere and she didn’t need too many guesses as to where that was.

“You know what we should do after this?” she asks with a pep in her voice. You turn to look at her, but say nothing as you wait to hear her idea. “We should get coffee. A nice warm latte sounds really good right now.”

“Okay.” Your reply lacks excitement but what hurts Sarah more is the sadness that lingers over you. Even during your massage your body seemed to fight against its effects. She really thought this would help you relax, but it was looking like a big fail.

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.” you reply quietly, your eyes focusing on your painted toes though Sarah is convinced that your thoughts haven’t been on this trip to the spa the entire time.

“I really wish you would stop beating yourself up about this, sweetie.”

“How could I not?” you say with an emotional tone. “I should have done the interview.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Sarah stresses, shifting in her chair but careful not to move her feet too much. “Y/N, you did the right thing. You did what was best for you.” 

“But that’s just it, I was being selfish.” you whimper, desperately trying to hold in your emotions. “The man that’s responsible for everything that happened to me and those other girls is still out there and instead of helping capture him…I ran away.” Sarah looks at you with sympathy, wishing like everyone else that she could take away your pain. “What if he hurts someone else? That’s on me.” 

“No. Y/N…no, it isn’t on you.”

“Yes it is! He’s out there, free roaming because I was too chicken to do anything about it.”

“Listen to me,” Sarah begins, her voice firm. “None of this is on you, okay? None of it. Everything that asshole has done is on him and him only, you understand me?” Even when she sees a tear slip from your eye she doesn’t let up on her hard gaze with you. “But either way, this guy is a five star dickbag. He doesn’t do any of the dirty work himself.” she adds before sitting back in her chair, briefly looking to her newly painted toes to see the woman finishing up on her artistic touch.

“Dean thinks he’s the one who was at my house.”

“Well, even so, he doesn’t do anything like that unless he has a fall guy. At least that’s what the guys told me. He had Paul as his fall guy for you and all those other girls and he had Norman back with Cassie, so…” Sarah shakes her head, letting out a sigh as if she was trying to release the vibe this conversation was creating. “I’m sure he’s laying low right now and to find someone you trust enough to do the things he does? That in itself will take time. So, I think it’s safe to say that we don’t have to worry about him hurting anyone for a while.'' She huffs at the end of her sentence and lounges back in her seat as if she’s on a beach somewhere enjoying the sun rays on her skin.

It’s quiet between the two of you, but Sarah doesn’t think anything of it. Now only if she looked over at you at some point would she know that something wasn’t right.

“What did you say?” She wasn’t aware of what was wrong yet, but her stomach still flipped at the tone of your voice. After looking your way, Sarah takes a second to go over everything she just told you, trying to think of what you could be asking of her.

“We don’t have to worry about him doing anything?” she questions, still not sure what she said that’s gotten to you.

“No.” Your head shakes in short, stiff movements and your eyes never leave hers. “No. The thing about Cassie.” It doesn’t register right away, but after she thinks back to what she said and sees the distraught look on your face, it finally comes together.

“Dean didn’t tell you?” It was obvious, but the question came out anyway. 

You were quiet, but Sarah could see there were fires bursting out everywhere in your head. Your breathing became a bit heavier, your eyes were darting around as if you were looking for the closest exit and she honestly was afraid that you were going to get sick.

“I’m sorry. I thought that he told you, I didn’t…” Before she can come up with anything else to say, you slipped from your seat, not caring if your toes were dry or not. “Y/N?” There was no stopping you. You were on a mission and she could see that. “Y/N!” Despite the fact that she spent a good chunk of cash on the spa day and her new painted toes, Sarah quickly jumps out of her chair and rushes after you, cursing under her breath the entire way out of the building.

-

“I saw the pictures of the venue.” As Dean comes out of the kitchen Sam takes the beer that his brother hands him. “Looks nice.”

“It is. That’s all Y/N though. She found it in one of those books she got. Never even knew that place existed.” Popping the top of his bottle, Dean then takes a quick swig before tossing the top on the table.

“Did you know of any of the venues existing?” Sam gets his brother's annoyed glare for making the comment, but it makes him chuckle anyway. 

“Shut up, Sam.” The youngest brother laughs a bit more as the two move into the living room, both taking a seat on the couch. 

“So, what’s the date again? I can’t remember what Sarah said.”

“October third.”

“That’ll be pretty.”

“Yeah.” Dean smiles fondly. “It’s what she wants and I think it’s perfect. For one, I won’t have to stand up at the altar in scorching hot temperatures.” The two share a light laugh before taking another drink of their beers, but before they can pull the bottles away from their mouths the front door flies open, grabbing their attention instantly.

Dean almost chokes down his beer when he sees you storm in, the fact that your eyes are filled with fire and you seem to be on the verge of either throwing something or breaking down in tears immediately puts him on edge.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know that you didn’t…” Sarah yells into the house when she knows she can’t beat you inside, but even then, you cut her off when you lock eyes with Dean.

“Why didn’t you tell me!?” Sarah finally makes it alongside you, slightly out of breath as she was rushing after you this whole time.

“Tell you what?” Dean asks, clearly confused.

“About Cassie!” Still confused, Dean looks between you and Sarah, his shoulders beginning to raise when you scream at him again. “Why didn’t you tell me that he hurt Cassie too!?” When it registers, Sam’s gaze drops from the girls and he glances at his brother.

“Maybe we should take off.”

“No! You knew this too!” Getting the heat from you stops Sam from getting up from the couch. Sarah mouths an ‘I’m sorry’ towards the guys but keeps in her spot. “Why didn’t any of you tell me?” your voice comes down in volume but the hurt you’re feeling seems to get worse. “Did you not trust me or something?”

“No.” Dean tells you as he stands from the couch and makes his way across the room. “No, honey, that’s not it.”

“Then why? If you told me then I would have…”

“Done the interview.” he states, wiping away a stray tear before you even realize you’re crying. “I know.” Sarah sneaks around the back of the couch, heading over to join her husband while the two of you have your moment. “That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“But, Dean, I…”

“I didn’t want you to feel obligated to do it, Y/N, and I know that if I told you about the connection he has with Cassie then you would have jumped into it without thinking about the repercussions it would have had on you.” Knowing that he was speaking the truth, you weren’t really sure what to say.

“But…you’ve been looking for him for so long.”

“Doesn’t matter.” he tells you, a soft smile gracing his lips. “The good thing about all this, is whoever this guy is clearly lives in town and has for a while now. I will get him and I don’t need you hurting yourself to help me.”

“But I want to help you.”

“I know. But what I need you to do is to do what's best for you, not for me.”

“That’s what I told her.” Sarah mutters, getting both you and Dean to look over at the couple sitting semi quietly on the couch. “What? I did.” Sam smiles at his wife and lightly pats her on the thigh.

“But I love you.” you tell Dean when he turns back to you. “And I’m supposed to care about what’s best for you.”

“I know.” he says, his fingers brushing against your cheek as they go back into your hair. “But I don’t want you worrying about this, okay?”

“You know that’s impossible, right?” Dean chuckles a bit, understanding that your statement was meant to be a joke despite the truth behind it and then pulls you in for a hug.

“Yeah, I know.”

[c-e-d-dreamer]

I Was Enchanted To Meet You: Part Four

A/N: Look! I'm posting today's chapter at a normal time! Anywho! What's that? ✨Feelings✨? Sure hope these two don't start acting a fool or anything 😉 Hope everyone enjoys! :) @elucienweekofficial

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Lucien

Lucien still hasn’t decided how he feels about seeing the infamous Prince Cassian on the news. He knows that he should be happy, that he should be excited for Elain to get her supposed true love back, and yet he… doesn’t. Instead, he feels almost disappointed. In fact, he had half started to convince himself that Cassian didn’t actually exist, that he wasn't actually coming to whisk Elain away again, but there he was, stabbing a bus with an actual sword on the news.

Lucien sighs softly and rolls over onto his back, blinking up at the ceiling. The morning light has already started flooding through the windows and into his room, and if he listens closely, he can hear Elain and Willow speaking quietly from the kitchen. He knows that he needs to get up. He knows that he should get up. And yet here he lays, desperately trying to put off the inevitable.

He shouldn't be feeling this way. Thankfully, with Elain’s help and two tickets to an upcoming ball, he was able to repair the damage of the previous day with Nesta. He should be focused on her. He should be thinking about what they’ve built over the past five years, about the ring that sits ready and waiting in the back of his sock drawer. He should be happy that, if all goes well, after today, Elain will finally walk out of his and Willow���s life, and they can finally go back to that comforting routine.

But something about Elain just keeps drawing Lucien in, like a golden thread tied right in the middle of his chest and tugging. There's just something in those bright brown eyes. Something in that too sweet smile. Something in that lilting laugh. It’s dangerous territory, has Lucien standing precariously on the edge of the cliff and questioning if he should jump.

Another sigh and Lucien drags himself up and out of bed. He pulls his hair up and away from his face and pads into the kitchen, finding Elain and Willow sitting at the table with what remains of a large stack of pancakes plated in front of them.

“Morning, Daddy,” Willow greets brightly, syrup dripping down her chin.

“Good morning,” Lucien offers back, bending down to press a kiss into her hair.

“Are we still able to go down to the news station today?” Elain asks, sipping at her cup of tea. “To see if they have Cassian’s information?”

Lucien forces a smile and pointedly shoves down the feelings twisting in his chest. “Of course. We can head over there after we drop Willow at school.”

“Perfect,” Elain tells him brightly, gathering up the plates and walking over to the sink.

“Perfect,” Lucien mutters.

~ * * * ~

The office that houses the news station is relatively quiet when they step through the glass doors and into the lobby. A woman sits at the front desk, typing away at a computer even when Lucien and Elain step over to her. It’s only when Lucien clears his throat awkwardly, that she finally looks up at them.

“Can I help you?” the woman asks, raising a single, manicured eyebrow.

“Yes, hi. We were actually wondering if you might have some information on a news story that you ran last night,” Lucien explains, offering his best winning smile.

“It was my Prince Cassian,” Elain adds, earning a confused look from the woman behind the desk.

“He was the one on the bus, with the sword.”

“You mean the psycho with the weird velvet outfit like he jumped out of a renaissance fair?” the woman asks dryly.

“Psycho…”

“That’s the one,” Lucien confirms, cutting Elain off.

“What about that news story?”

“Well, we were wondering if you had any information about the man, Cassian,” Lucien continues. “Maybe a number or an address was taken down by someone?”

“Sorry, but all we had was that video we aired from an onlooker and an interview with the busdriver. The man you’re looking for ran off when the police arrived, way before we got there.”

“Oh, no,” Elain sighs dejectedly, the sound pulling right at Lucien’s heartstrings.

“Thanks for your help,” Lucien tells the woman before gently guiding Elain out of the news station and out of the building.

When they step back out onto the streets, Elain has her arms wrapped around herself, her brows pinched together and lips tipped down in a frown. She looks over her shoulder back at the new station, her expression almost forlorn, before her gaze sweeps across the buildings and people bustling around them. She looks so lost, and Lucien hates it, his fingers itching to reach out to her.

“I’m sorry,” Lucien offers; although, he’s not sure his words provide much comfort.

Elain takes a deep breath, and when she turns her head back toward Lucien, she’s smiling again. “It’s alright. Cassian is looking for me, and I know that he’s going to find me.”

The words sit heavy on Lucien’s tongue, begging to be released. Words of disagreement. Reminders that the city is a big place and statistics aren’t on her side. Arguments that if this Cassian had any sanity, he would just move on. But Lucien swallows them all down despite the sour taste it leaves in the back of his throat.

“I’m sure he is,” Lucien assures her, praying Elain can’t hear the falseness in his tone. “You know, there’s a bakery just a few blocks from here. Maybe it will help lessen the sting of the news station not having any information.”

“That sounds lovely.”

The sweet scent of chocolate and the buttery smell of other baked goods floods the air as soon as Lucien opens the door for Elain to step inside. The bakery is relatively quiet, so after ordering some pastries and tea, they settle into one of the small tables set near the window. The sun’s rays pour in like a personal spotlight, showering Elain in golden light as she carefully stirs her tea. It bounces off the soft strands of her hair where they fall in wavy curls along her shoulders, off the warm brown of her eyes, and when she smiles softly at Lucien, he has to duck his head to focus on his own drink.

“Thank you for taking me to the news station today,” Elain tells him, gently clinking her spoon against the rim of her teacup before setting it down.

“Of course,” Lucien assures her. “I’m happy to help you get back to…”

“Andalasia,” Elain finishes for him. “You’d love it there. It’s so magical. The Enchanted Forest stretches on and on, and there’s a beautiful, crystal blue river that cuts through it.”

“It must be quiet. Compared to this city.”

“You’d be surprised. Especially, when the bluebirds get into another of their arguments.”

Lucien has to bite back a smile at that, taking a sip of his drink. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“I do hope you and Willow can come visit. You’re both, of course, invited to the wedding, and I’m sure she’d love it there.”

“Yeah,” Lucien agrees quietly, thinking of his daughter and her love of all things fairy tales. “I bet she would.”

“Does she miss her terribly?”

“Who?”

“Her mother.”

The change in topic takes Lucien by surprise, and for a moment, all he can do is blink dumbly at Elain. Despite the years that have passed, despite all the work he’s done to move on, to keep himself and Willow protected from that past, it’s a patchwork at best over that wound. One tug could send the whole thing unraveling. It’s why he keeps those cards so close to his chest, why he almost never talks about her, about Jesminda, about what happened.

But the earnestness, the sincerity, in Elain’s eyes, in her expression, has Lucien wanting to tell her. Wanting to crack himself open until every scar is on full display. Because, even though he’s only known her for a few days, he knows he can trust Elain, knows that she would never judge, never ridicule. Knows that she’d only show him more of her kindness, more of her compassion.

Even now, Elain watches him with patience, nothing but openness in her gaze. He has to swallow around the lump trying to press in around his throat, but Lucien is able to find his voice again.

“She… she left us,” Lucien explains quietly. “It was when Willow was still just a baby, so thankfully she doesn’t remember her really.”

“I’m so sorry, for you and for Willow. You were in love, weren’t you?”

Lucien smiles sadly. “We were. It’s how I know all that true love you talk about isn’t real. Happily ever after doesn’t exist in the real world.”

“You’re wrong,” Elain argues, reaching her hand across the table to give Lucien’s a squeeze. Lucien’s eyes snap down to the contact, warmth radiating up his arm and spreading through his chest. “And one day, something wonderful will happen, and you’ll see.”

~ * * * ~

Elain

“I want Elain to help me get ready for bed.”

“I would be honored,” Elain tells Willow, before looking to Lucien to make sure that’s okay.

Lucien gives an easy shrug of his shoulders where he’s scrubbing down the dishes from their dinner at the sink, so Willow grabs Elain’s hand in hers, pulling her out of the kitchen. Willow leads the way down the hallway and into her bedroom, and Elain takes a moment to admire the pink floral wallpaper plastered to the walls, the gauzy fabric hung like a canopy over the bed, and the pile of stuffed animals stacked neatly atop the blankets.

“These are my pj’s,” Willow explains, pulling free a pair of bright yellow pants and shirt from her drawer.

“Perfect.” Elain glances around the room again, spotting the small basket piled with various hair products, hair ties, clips, and a hairbrush. “How about I help tie your hair back for sleep?”

Willow’s face completely lights up at the suggestion, her smile wide and toothy, until Elain can’t help but smile back. She instructs Willow to sit on the bed, and Elain settles on the mattress just behind her with the basket. She grabs the hairbrush first, carefully pulling the bristles through Willow’s bright red hair, a near perfect match for the little girl’s father’s hair.

“Let me know if I tug too hard.”

“It’s okay,” Willow assures her, practically slumping back into Elain.

Elain continues to brush through Willow’s hair until all the knots are detangled. She splits the hair in two next, tying off one half while she focuses on dutch braiding the other. She hums quietly while she works, her fingers working in practiced movements until two braids curl around Willow’s ears and down her back.

“There,” Elain declares, leaning forward and giving Willow’s shoulders a squeeze until the little girl falls into a fit of giggles.

Elain gets up from the bed and gathers back up all the hair supplies to put away. While she does that, Willow changes into her pajamas. Elain helps her to clamber up into the bed, pulling back the blankets and tucking her back in. Willow gets comfortable, gathering up all her stuffed animals into her arms as she snuggles in.

“Would you and your friends like a bedtime story?” Elain asks, running a soothing hand through Willow’s hair.

“Yes, please. I have all my storybooks on that shelf over there.”

“Oh, don’t you worry. I know plenty of stories.”

Willow scoots over in offering, so Elain slides into the bed beside the little girl. She curls her arm around Willow’s shoulders, and Willow cuddles in close, resting her head on Elain’s collarbone and peering up at her with wide, excited eyes.

“Now, I have this chipmunk friend named Pip…”

By the time Elain finishes her story, Willow is fast asleep, little puffs of breath tumbling past her lips as she lay curled up against Elain. Elain smiles softly at the sight, her heart practically ballooning in her chest. Carefully, Elain raises herself from the bed, gently guiding Willow down so she’s laying against the pillows. She tucks one of the stuffed animals back into Willow’s arms, and slowly backs away from the bed, keeping her steps light and quiet so as to not wake the little girl.

When she’s sure she’s finally in the clear, Elain turns back around only to come face to face with Lucien. He’s leaning casually against the door jamb, arms folded neatly across his chest, and those russet eyes already pinned on Elain. His smile is fond, but when Elain jumps slightly at seeing him there, that smile morphs into a smirk. Just that small expression sends Elain’s heart skittering and squeezing, and she raises her chin stubbornly, strolling right past Lucien and out of the room.

“That was a nice story that you told her,” Lucien says, closing the door to Willow’s bedroom.

“Yes, Pip does have some fun adventures,” Elain agrees, stepping into the living room and the bed that’s become hers on the sofa.

“You know, I was thinking…” Lucien begins, following behind Elain. “I could help you if you want. Find a job. Find a place to stay. Get you back on your feet.”

“That’s very kind of you, Lucien, but it’s not necessary. Cassian is going to come for me, and then we’re going to go back to Andalasia.”

“I know what it’s like to be disappointed. I told you about Jesminda earlier. You don’t have to keep putting on this front.”

“I’m not putting on a front,” Elain argues, crossing her arms across her chest and stepping closer to Lucien. “Cassian is coming for me.”

“And what if he doesn’t?”

He says the words with such kindness, such genuine concern, but all it does is have heat flaring through Elain’s veins like molten lava. It sends her heartbeat thundering in her chest, fingers curling into her palm until her fists are clenched. It’s certainly a new feeling swirling away in Elain’s gut, but she grasps onto it with two hands.

“He is coming.”

“I don’t think he is, Elain. No.”

“No?” Elain snaps, her voice raising in volume. “Is that the only word that you know? No?”

“No, I just—”

“There it is again,” Elain cuts him off, shoving at Lucien’s chest until he stumbles back a step. “All this negativity. All this no, he’s not coming. All this no, over and over again.”

“Elain—”

“Gods, it just makes me so… so… sometimes, you just make me so…”

“I make you so what?”

“Angry!”

The word hangs in the air, in the space and the time between them. It feels strange putting a word to the feeling crashing through Elain. Stranger still for it to be an emotion she’s so unfamiliar with. And yet, at the same time, it’s exhilarating.

Before Elain knows it, she’s laughing. She can’t help it. She tries to press her hand to her mouth, to stifle the sound, but there’s no stopping it. No stopping her excitement at feeling angry. Soon, Lucien is laughing with her, that deep melodic sound of his. Elain clutches at Lucien’s tee and laughs and laughs until her sides start to feel sore, until tears of joy begin to prickle at the corners of her eyes.

It’s only when Elain finally stops laughing that she realizes just how close she and Lucien are standing. Practically toe to toe, and close enough that every breath has their chests brushing together. Close enough that Elain has to tilt her head back to keep his gaze.

Of course, his eyes are already on her, an emotion that Elain can’t quite put her finger on swirling and burning amongst that russet color. It has a shiver raking its way up her spine, a quiet gasp falling past her lips. The sound has Lucien’s eyes dipping down to her lips, and almost instinctively, Elain leans forward still, presses up onto her toes.

Suddenly, the moment feels like something more, feels precarious. Suddenly, Elain feels like she’s standing on the edge of a cliff, like she’s standing back at that wishing well about to tumble down head first. But this time, Elain doesn’t feel scared. In fact, this time, Elain wants to jump, a voice in the back of her mind goading her, whispering at her to leap leap leap. It promises safety beneath, promises strong arms and a net of golden thread waiting below.

A second passes. Two. And then Lucien steps away from her, the moment shattering around them like broken glass. Lucien clears his throat, pushing a hand up and through his hair and keeping his eyes on anything but Elain.

“Lucien…” Elain starts quietly, unable to find the words to finish the thought, but it doesn’t matter because Lucien is already turning away from her.

“Goodnight, Elain.”

—

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