#and instead I spent my time doing this

[invasiverat]

Trust me, she's fine.

I spent way too long on this, it literally was supposed to be a stupid scribble that was vaguely related to a story I started writing.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[queenharumiura]

2024 Akira Amano 'The Characters' Exhibition bonus 'Selfie-style' cards.

[ID: Official art of multiple characters from the manga and anime Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

They're all drawn as if taking a selfie, most of them smiling and/or doing a peace sign or another playful gesture with their hand.

Reborn, Colonnello, Viper and Fon are in their cursed forms, with Viper pulling their hood down, trying to hide more of their face.

Gokudera waves at us, with "Vongola Famiglia" written on his palm and the Vongola's emblem drawn on it too. Lambo is in his Ten Years Later version, Tsuna's shown both in his normal state and in Hyper Dying Will mode, Basil is in Hyper Dying Will mode too and Chrome's wearing cat ears.

Squalo and Xanxus are scowling. /End ID]

ID courtesy of @hopeswriting.

[zombie-bait]

The Duke's Son

Thinking about a young brash Wyll Ravengard alone for the first time in his life making his way through the frontiers before everything went down. Also long hair and earrings.

(Face details under the cut)

[linolinoing]

Paddington (2014) — dir. Paul King // As we are (2024) — dir. Soze Yoon

[llutik]

learning names

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

they needed a shorter chain tbh

[siffrinsometimes]

Back to the Ground

[im-fucking-baalin]

todays study session ended up in this

girly wimsy

[dahliaparton]

ALWAYS down for a rafe/reader recommendation too 🙏🙏🙏

hi I'm sorry it took awhile to answer this!!

pls be mindful of the tags, there's dark content (dubious consent and rape/noncon) in this list. I put an x by any of the ones that have that vibe but still (as you always should) check the tags before reading.

x if you read rafe/reader on the archive then you've probably already seen @cherienymphe's works, she writes dark fics but it is some of the best writing on the site... some of my favs are here, here, and here. also this one which unsettled me for days, so good

like a stray by sadandhorny -- angsty and HOTTT, the writing is such a vibe (her metaphors go hard)

@umathurwin has a whole bunch of obx fics, this one and this one are particularly fun rafe/reader ones hehe

the only T rated fic I've read in forever, but I stumbled upon it on the author's tumblr and got obsessed! p sure she's gonna finish it soon. also this one by the same author tugged on my heart strings and I believe she plans on finishing it soon as well

x @thyme-in-a-bubble writes a lot on tumblr and cross posts to ao3, this serial killer rafe fic and this stepbrother rafe one are icky and excellent

sunburnt by @twinklelilstarkey a fun lengthy oneshot, I'm a slut for a bsf's brother premise

x dark but just a game and don't worry darling by delicate_flower

x this fic from straywords, she has a couple dark rafe ones that are good

x on film by khalisey

feel free to mention any favs in the replies for other sloots to see 🎀

ty for the ask!!

[fish-with-more-eyes]

last-minute mermay doodle hehe

[viridian-house]

I want so desperately to finish this one, but life has other plans for me this month. I learned a ton while working on it, so fingers crossed I can pick the momentum back up in the future

sakura, from my fic series the slug & the stars

[unriding]

a … a gift from the talented @kruinka 🥹 thank you so much!! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)

[catspillsthebeans]

I would be their apprentice 👉👈

[superkitten-poison]

its like. velvette subbing is daddy's little girl and vox subbing is a pathetic disgusting queer. velvette subbing is about letting go of control and being allowed to be small and fragile and dumb and get taken care of (which does not need to be done in a wholesome way to hit the mark btw) and vox subbing is about being forced into the most shameful, taboo and depraved acts that go so far across any line of respectability that he cant even see it anymore. velvette having never been allowed to show any fear or hurt or failure, never allowed to be as much of a kid as she should have been not only bc she was adultified since early on but bc she had to be impossibly driven and ruthless and perfect to get any amount of respect. and vox being taught his whole life that his base level of attraction is as dirty and wrong and perverse as the worst thing you could think of, that pleasure to him would always be shameful and letting himself truly have it would mean sacrificing everything. you know?

[uniiiquehecrt]

Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.

It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.

Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.

The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.

This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.

Actors are not the same as voice actors.

And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.

I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.

People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.

Voice Actors ≠ Actors.