#anyways this is my christmas present to myself
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Paddington (2014) — dir. Paul King // As we are (2024) — dir. Soze Yoon
#lmaaaaaaooooo#do i even tag this#😭😭😭#bystay#skz#stray kids#seungmin#kim seungmin#by01ino#paddington#I was rewatching the first paddington just before as we are came out#so /this/ happened#also I giffed this right away#but I was so tired that instead of saving it in my drafts#I posted it and then spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out why it wasn't in my drafts#after realising I already posted it obviously I panicked and deleted it#and decided to deal with it another day#so here we are#what better day to post this than christmas#anyways this is my christmas present to myself#happy holidays! ❤️🎁✨️
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‘I am Eleanor,’ Theo said, ‘because I am wearing blue. I love my love with an E because she is ethereal. Her name is Eleanor, and she lives in expectation.’
#my art#art#the haunting of hill house#hill house book#the haunting of hill house fanart#hill house book fanart#eleanor vance#eleanor hill house#this was a fun one i started as a page in my sketchbook and then made digital#im kinda obsessed with hill house (the book) rn#i think it's safe to say it is my favorite book#but anyways this one was fun im trying to do less like. fully rendered stuff#and was playing with some brushes in#procreate#that i got for myself as a post-christmas pre-surgery present#but yeah#wanted to make my eleanor design look like her from the original movie#which i still need to finish watching#anyways#fanart#hauntjester#tags are hard#artists on tumblr#procreate art#digital art#most of these tags are for archiving purposes anyways#might also post this one on instagram#we will see#and yeah 'i am learning the pathways of the heart' is one of my favorite random phrases that eleanor thinks to herself#bc its like babe i don't know if you are
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the day i got this thing compared to today is just a bit funny
#i know i got it A WHILE ago but i've only had the time to use it four times so. crazy difference considering that lol#see this is a ''new'' ''christmas present'' that will be put under the tree. so i need to use it only when my dad cant see me#my mom knows about it but my dad gets pissed when christmas ''doesnt look like it used to'' so we just. fake a bunch of presents lmao#yea christmas doesnt look like it used to bc my toys arent cheap plastic now and we dont make that much money-#anyways! i havent used this new brush to draw him yet it's sooooo fun#but my creative well has run INCREDIBLY dry with him so i dont really have any ideas :V tragic#i think i might actually take that wip i have and completely start over lining it#as cool as it looks in pixel art. i just really love this brush#and i just cant see myself doing super precise pixel art like this anymore... at least not BIG pixel art#that's one of the biggest drawings i've made TO DATE. no way in hell it's getting done on a new device 😭#so i think that will be my project for the next few days >:)#that and drawing more m&l stuff kjfhkg i've done sooooo many doodles of the final boss#i need to draw him playing balatro...#awa
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ok i narrowed it down
#i guess i could always buy myself whichever one i dont ask for for birthday/christmas present =m=#in which case the coveralls are on sale for half off which is why theyre the same price#i just think theyre neat. imagine my little faggot ass running around in either of these#i have big water proof hunting boots that match my camo hat so like. the vibes either way. w my wedding flannel?#i went thru a period of time where i tried to not dress like a hick bc i didnt want to look like. yknow. while we live here#but then i decided fuck that -> do it anyway#and so here we are...
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Secret archives arrived. Which I won't be scanning for another day or so because it happened to get delivered on my b-day, but I have seen some people really interested in seeing it, so. Soon.
Who knows about the other handful of books that need to be added. I have them, but some digital versions have been shared for some that might be better to link than my physical ones, and motivation can be hard when I have to provide it. Also I got a used copy of Animal Crossing Switch months ago and keeping up with that mostly-daily has taken a solid chunk of attention in my off time. And then there's this 1000 piece Pokemon Ditto puzzle--
#It's been busy around the house this year in ways it. Normally isn't#Mostly good stuff. Its just been more socializing and being up and out of the house#I need a very large amount of time of nothing going on for me to focus and do stuff#And instead i get two sometimes three sit down moments most days#...Which atm has been directed at the puzzle i knew was going to be a pain to work#(Because I have a pile of Pokemon puzzles I was trying to get through so I could put them all away together)#(And at the time i had three options and my hubris chose Ditto)#(Now i have 12 in the wings because impulse buying on good value puzzles)#(And i know I'm getting another one for Christmas.)#(Help)#But yeah; anyway; secret archive came in that I do want to make available#And because it's my b-day: To anyone who might get jealous: I got the two fluffy Zorua plushies#The original black one for a present; and the white one i bought from Pokemon Center myself and it happened to arrive today
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oh shit I forgot a package was delivered today. do I want to get out of my comfy bed to get it.
#the answer is no but I'll do it anyway#it could be a birthday present#the window doesn't close on birthday presents until arin visits next week#(even then something might turn up late on time from a friend)#(presents are always on time for their intentions even if they don't arrive when expected)#(like the year I kept getting late christmas presents on otherwise terrible awful exceptionally bad days)#(but most of my friends either don't do much for birthdays or tend to stay in specific lanes)#(so it's not the same like. embargo on buying myself certain things for risk of duplicates.)#(that's a significant function of the present window.)#(anyway I'm gonna get the mail now.)
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I'm looking into noise cancelling headphones and there are Sony ones below 150$CAD that look good but idk anything about noise cancelling headphones I'm a bit lost.
wait why does the best buy website says '150$ - save 100$!' when they're already priced at 150$ on the sony website... what am I missing....
#if u have any experiences with noise cancelling headphones I'm all ears#anyways im gonna figure out if it's actually a good deal or not. there seems to be a sale but it's the normal price so wtf?#also not sure if I would buy them myself or suggest it as a christmas present from my mom#it's a big gift so she wouldn't have to get me anything else and spend time being stressed out about what to buy
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considering like 80% of the conversations i have with my dad are about all the concerts i go to and all the ones he went to when he was younger i’m kind of shocked it’s taken this long for us to go to one together
#he took my older sister to her first concert bc she was 12 and i will never stop whining about it bc it was one direction with 5sos#so my DAD has seen one direction live and i never got to </3#but anyway i didn’t get to go to my first concert until i was 15 and then i didn’t go to any for almost 2 years bc of covid#so by the time i started going to a lot i just would always go with my friends or by myself bc why would i bring my dad to like… sabrina…#he tends to like most of the bands i listen to when i play their music for him but idk we’ve just never considered going together#BUT the one thing we’ve talked about since i was like 12 is how if and when ac/dc does a north american tour again we have to go#bc they’re my favorite classic rock band ever and my dad is a dad so of course he loves them#and then like a week after we’d been talking about this again the rolling stones announced a tour#and it was right around thanksgiving so i was like wait tickets for this would be the perfect christmas present#and now here we are and it still hasn’t fully hit me that i’m seeing the fucking rolling stones live#like that’s bucket list shit#lj.txt
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#got sad because i thought about how lonely i am and then that triggered me to think about [redacted] and that put me in a BAD MOOD-#especially since its christmas eve it was not a good combination#and then i had to go be with my family and not act like i wanted to disappear and so as im battling that every little thing is making me-#upset (because i get very irritable easily especially when in a triggered/anxious state)#i accidentally spilled my drink all over the floor and that just set me off right there#calmed myself down by watching some videos and then i started feeling better enough to go out to the living room to attempt to get-#some cookies (key word ATTEMPT) and as im walking into the kitchen to put my plate away (i finished eating in my room its just tragic reall#i tripped on something glass and it fell over on the floor#....i was SO done after that i put my plate in the sink and slammed my door (not my brightest move im sorry)#and so then my mom talks to me later (when were on our way to church) and shes like 'im not surprised you slammed your door honestly'#and then i started feeling better after i realized she wasn't mad at me at all for this (because im still trying to deal with new triggers)#so anyways then i went to church came home watched white christmas and finished wrapping presents#and now im ready to celebrate christmas#no one cares kristen
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Mfw my friends send pics of their xmas eve outfits but because my parents are so alienated from catholic culture we simply dont celebrate it
#I JUST WANT TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAAAAAS WERE ALREADY CULTURALLY CATHOLICS. WHAT IS THE PROBLEEEM?MM#the devilish combination of being poor immigrants (HOWEVER. IN A COUNTRY WITH VERY SIMILAR TRADITIONS/SAME RELIGION) and lowkey agnostic#I NEVER GOT TO CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS BECAUSE MY PARENTS CANNOT BE FUCKING ARSED AND HALF OF MY LIFE I DIDNT EVEN GET PRESENTS!#damn... i sound like a disney villain lmfaoo 😭😭😭#anyways! id like to have the option to get annoyed at my families xmas dinners! but WE DONT HAVE ANY#BECAUSE WERE SPRAWLED ACROSS THE CONTINENT#ALSO fun fact MY GRANDPARENTS DO IN FACT CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS. SO DO MY AUNTS AND UNCLES. SO WHAT IS OUR PROBLEEEEEEEMMMMM IM SO MAD#ill have to do all the christmas cooking (except... the steak my dad bought i think) ALL BY MYSELF! IIIIIIII GIFT WRAPPED MY PRESENTS FOR MY#PARENTS! AND GUESS WHAT IF I HADNT TOLD THEM I DID THIS. I AGAIN WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN ANYTHING FOR XMAS 😐😐😐#PLEASE GOD I JUST WANT TO BE IN A LOVING FAMILY THAT CAN ACTUALLY SHOW LOVE 😭😭😭😭#sham!s rambles
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I made 2 crochet snowflakes today as Christmas tree ornaments for my mom. Kinda sad I didn't work on the amigurumi stuff but I mean bro I'm getting fucked in the ass by school rn so ill just be a bit sad I'm not gonna be hard on myself
#I keep having my moments of like “I'm never going to get anything done at this rate” and then I'm like#wake up you stupid bitch its the middle of October you have until end of December!!!!!!!#literally I'm so hard on myself about it :(#I'm doing good and I'm actually motivated to be crocheting for once#I do need to find a newer pattern to make for my dad tho#I might make three things. but prob two for my dad#bc I'm making two for my sis#and one for my mom + blanket for my mom#and two for my grandma#And then I'm trying to finish a couple projects I have in the works for myself so I can like#make myself Christmas presents lol#and have them all done so I can open the presents and show them to everyone#Which by that I mean my knit blanket and POSSIBLY MAYBE A CARDIGAN#bc I got some new yarn and I rlly rlly wanna make a cardi with it :)) a knit cardigan specifically#Anyways gn I'm just ranting in the tags now lol
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guys look @ this garfield watch i got on ebay
#its garf o clock babey!!!!!#it came w a lil bell on it like a cat collar it was rly cute but i took it off bc im wearing this to work and it was gonna bother me#i can put it back on whenever i want tho. anyways. Him#i feel like i dont garfpost enough on this webbed site. i love him sooo much#im slowlyyy becoming a garfield collector but i dont have money so it is hard#this is the first time ive had Any expendable income in. a frickign while#and by Any i mean enough to get myself a christmas present this year and this guy in january#BUT !!! i have made myself a few garfs#i also got a free garf mug of the Mcdonalds Lead Variety on my local buy nothing he lives on my shelf by my tv#ill post a garf tour eventually when i have better lighting
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me: oh i'll go to target today to get the last of my shopping done and pick up baking supplies!
me, really thinking about it as i get dressed: actually. what if i just went monday instead.
#liveblogging life#the way i can talk myself out of any plans by being like 'wouldnt this be better if we did it later'? unparalleled lmao.#my reasoning is that even tho monday is the last day before christmas eve. if i go in the morning when a lot of people still work#it will probably be at least a little less busy than going mid-afternoon on the weekend before christmas#and i can duck out of work for a couple of hours to shop - i have no meetings and half of my office is out on pto anyway#it's either that or i may scrumble up the motivation to go tomorrow.... but today im like. actually im going to stay in apt all day#i actually need no presents i just need some wrapping supplies and baking supplies
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I know my family doesn't know me at all... But especially on my birthday I get hit with "wow they really don't know me. You were looking at that & thinking of me? Please look again & think again."
#This year nobody asked me what I wanted... But I made some comments about what would be great...#& now I look at the gifts & well... They also don't listen to me...#I prefer getting no gifts over gifts who are total bullshit...#I would have been happier if we would got out & eating in a nice restaurant or something... But nope... Not in my family...#Thanks ähm for nothing... I guess...#Best birthday present is the Lego set that I was buying MYSELF...#givemeaswordpersonal#Anyway... I also don't want to sound ungrateful... It feels like last Christmas where I got also stuff I didn't needed or wanted..
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#okay wasn’t gonna post earlier bc I feel like I’m acting bratty and entitled but I am mildly annoyed#I’m flying out to visit my bf’s family Friday#cold state so I need to pack layers and warm jackets I get cold very easily even though it’s only a few days#we’re flying out together but I’m leaving before him bc work and whatever#we have to share one suitcase on the way there and I only get a personal item and carryon bag on the way back#I don’t even own a backpack and now I have to figure out how to pack all my clothes in one so I can visit#like I would have liked to be involved in the decision but now she drops this on us 2 days before we leave#they honestly are I think bad at planning and I saw their living room for Christmas it was insane#two trees each LOADED with presents like I’ve never seen a house like it before#but you invite me out and I don’t even get a suitcase unless I buy it myself#anyway first world problems at their finest it is what it is
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fucking hell i can't wait for christmas so i can get a new pair of headphones
the cups for these do NOT fit my ears properly they're so not fun to wear
#ashton is talking#the cups are small and perfectly round circles#no idea how my mom found these (they were a christmas present)#if it was off of amazon i have an even LESS clue#cuz most of the options for headphones have the oval ear cups that are ACTUALLY comfortable#must've bought these from walmart or something#anyways yeah circle ear cups suck ass#never feel like they fit right#at least come christmas i'll probably get an amazon gift card from my memere#so i can just order myself a new pair#and a new computer charger so i don't have to keep borrowing my mom's lol#but the headphones are more important to me#debating between the green and the orange red colors-#-that the specific headphones i'm looking at come in#might get the green#but the orange red also looks so fun#bright color fun time
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