#they honestly are I think bad at planning and I saw their living room for Christmas it was insane

[dragon-huntress]

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[ceesimz]

Reverie - Part 2

Autistic Reader x Barça Femení - part one here

Hey, welcome back for part two :) Thank you so much for the love, this genuinely wouldn't have been posted had it not been for the reaction to the first. Again, more things I wanna mention before reading. This part includes the aftermath of a bad meltdown, but the actual meltdown part is not written in. This was a personal decision because quite honestly there is no way to sum that experience down into a few words, it's impossible. The best example I have seen of a meltdown in the media is the character of Quinni in Heartbreak High on Netflix, if you're interested then you should watch that scene in the first season. I hope you enjoy this second part, thank you for taking the time to read it, let me know what you think :)

Your first Champion’s League game for Barcelona, a group stage game against PSG at home, didn’t quite go as planned.

From the first minute of the game, things weren’t clicking out on the pitch for you. Passes to and from you weren’t connecting, you were losing duels you definitely shouldn’t and you were missing key, game-changing shots. 

Half-time came way too quickly, and to everybody’s frustration, the score was still 0-0. As everyone sat in the changing rooms receiving treatment or refreshing themselves with energy drinks and whatnot, the result wasn’t the thing at the forefront of Ingrid's mind. It was you. She could see defeat written all over you before the match had even concluded. It didn’t bode well what this game was doing to you. Before she could do anything, she was called away for a tactical discussion. Then the break was over and everybody was being ushered back to the pitch, and her opportunity was gone.

Rough challenges, an open goal miss, and a yellow card later, you were done for. Your streak was over, you knew what was coming and there was no way to avoid it.

Nobody heard from you for ten hours, nobody saw you at any point after the game, and quite frankly nobody knew where you were. Ingrid knew though. And if her gut feeling about what had happened was correct, she was going to need back up for this one. She hadn’t dealt with a situation like this for a while now, and she felt a little out of her depth.

“Why didn’t anybody stay with her last night?” Alexia asked with a deep-set frown, rushing to your flat alongside Mapi and Ingrid. “You guys live in the same complex as her, why didn’t you check up on her?”

“I don’t know, Alexia! If I could go back and change it, I would, I swear.” Ingrid replied desperately, looking through her keys to find the one to her old flat. 

“Hey, let’s not argue. She won’t be in any fit state to deal with that, we can hash it out later.” Mapi attempted to de-escalate the situation whilst taking the keys from her girlfriend's shaking hands and quietly unlocking the door.

The thing they'd all been worried about made its presence known immediately. Ingrid’s heart broke, and she’d never regretted a decision more in her life.

By the door, your bag had been thrown haphazardly towards the shoe rack, causing the contents of both items to be strewn across the entryway. As the trio stepped past the mess and entered the main room, their concern doubled. There seemed to be two smashed glasses in the kitchen, one of the framed prints from your lounge wall had fallen down, a plant had been knocked over, yet there was no sign of you. The curtains were drawn, the lights were off, and the flat was deathly silent.

“What do we do?” Alexia questioned quietly, afraid of shattering the calm that had seemingly settled after the storm, and unsure what the best way to go about this was. She'd never really experienced anything like this before, at least not to this degree.

“Can you two clean up a bit? She will be in bed, I should go to her first I think.” Ingrid decided as her eyes were glued to your closed bedroom door.

“Of course. If either of you need anything, princesa, just shout for us.” Mapi reminded her, knowing that whatever was in store for her behind your bedroom door could be mentally taxing for her too. She nodded, and at that left the two Spaniards to clean up as she went off to do some damage control.

What greeted her when she entered your room was a sight she hadn’t seen in a long time. Not since the several hour journeys the pair of you would make throughout Germany to meet up, not since national camps, not for years. 

Ingrid found you as a disfigured lump under the duvet, the only thing visible being your hair peeking out just slightly. Again, the lights were off and the curtains were drawn, but with it being morning there was enough daylight bleeding through the soft material to let her look around the room. Just like the rest of the flat, it was in a concerning state of disarray. That wasn't at the forefront of her mind though right now though.

“Elskling?” She called out softly, though got no response. Her only option was to step closer, around to the side of the bed you lay on to try and get your attention.

You were lay on your stomach, cheek smushed against the mattress, and most unnervingly of all, your eyes were open and staring straight ahead at the wall in front. The look on your face was hauntingly empty, yet agonised all in one.

“Hey.” Ingrid whispered, kneeling down before you, yet you didn't even acknowledge she was there. 

It was that moment that the defender noticed the tear tracks, the redness to your face, and the internal agony and undertones of fear present in your blood-shot eyes. She swallowed the lump in her throat, broken at the sight of you, before gently placing her hand on your back atop the sheets.

“If you can hear me, min engel, just give me a tiny nod at least. That's all I ask.” The relief that flooded her when you did exactly what she said was immense, it filled her from head to toe, so grateful you were at least present in the room now. 

“Thank you, that's all I needed.” She smiled sadly, delicately pushing a few strands of hair out of your face. “I'm going to sit here with you for as long as you need. María and Alexia are here too but they won't come in unless you say otherwise, they are just cleaning up for you. I love you, søster, I am always going to love you no matter what.”

Her words, her compassionate and caring words, broke through the trance you'd been in ever since your explosive meltdown had ended however long ago. Ingrid's unconditional love that she consistently showed towards you made itself known yet again, it being quite possibly the one sole thing that could get through to you in this precarious moment. 

The taller woman panicked the moment she saw you tearing up again, worried that she had said the wrong thing, but then your arm reached out from under the covers and grasped desperately at the hand on your back.

“It's okay, it's okay. I've got you. I'm here, you're safe, and I've got you.” Her free hand came up to wipe the tears that fell silently, the repetitive movement of her thumb across your wet cheeks a comfort you clung onto. Meanwhile, the arm of hers you'd grabbed now had both your arms wrapped around it, eyes scrunched tightly shut to keep the tears at bay as much as possible. 

It wasn't possible though, they were coming out thick and fast with no way of stopping them.

“Let it out, snuppa, you will feel better.”

And let it out you did; all the anger you directed at yourself the second the final whistle blew the day before dissipated, and a fatalistic sadness washed over you. You don't know how long you spent sobbing into the mattress, all you knew was that Ingrid was there and she wasn't leaving. She repeated reassuring words over and over until they finally registered, eventually helping you to calm down.

All that was left was an exhausted, now mindless shell of you, stuttered breaths sounding through the quiet room every so often. Ingrid's hand was tracing light circles on the palm of yours, whilst she was quietly suffering through a numb arm that you held onto still.

“Have you had anything to eat or drink since yesterday?” Ingrid asked, her assumption confirmed by the slight shake of your head. “Can I leave for a few seconds to get you something, or shall I ask one of the girls to do it?”

“Stay.” You could barely get the single word out; your throat was already dry and hurting from the exertion it had experienced in the last twelve hours or so, nevermind the mental challenge it was to speak.

“Alright, I will stay. Is it okay if one of them comes in then?” Another tiny, barely noticeable nod. “I will text them, thank you.”

No more than a few silent minutes later, there was a polite knock on the door, shortly followed by Alexia walking in with a tray in her arms. On it was a glass of water, a variety of snacks, some electrolyte tablets and even a box of tissues. She had really thought of it all.

Alexia’s eyes glanced up to where you were, before turning back to Ingrid with a questioning look in her eyes. Ingrid only shook her head, and Alexia took that as her cue to leave. It was clear, from just one momentary glance, that Ingrid still had more progress to make with you, so Alexia quietly slipped straight back out of the room.

When Ingrid turned back to you, all she saw was the sixteen year old version of you, crying in a hotel room hours from home after being dropped to the bench for an upcoming match. She saw the seventeen year old inside of you, the one that had gotten way past drunk at a party and had collapsed into a blubbering, destroyed mess on your bed after near enough carrying you home. She saw you at twenty, breaking down when she revealed she was moving to Wolfsburg, fumbling through the congratulatory messages whilst trying to come to terms with the fact your best friend was moving to a whole different country, feeling like the world was collapsing around you. You, twenty-three, leaving your last national camp, physically and mentally ruined, unable to talk, body and mind exhausted after a night of tears, frustration, and a soul crushing amount of remorse at the decision you had no choice but to make.

Every version of yourself, past and present, was right there in front of her; every version needing the support she was giving. Every version was still alive in some way, they would never die. With this disorder, things don’t come and go, they’re always there, ready to be triggered at any given moment. She had seen this one and the others a handful of times before, but you’d have them with you for the rest of your life. Your own cross to bear, something she’d never come to experience or understand, but if she can carry the load with you then she’d give up everything else in her life to do so.

“Are you ready to sit up? Ale brought in some stuff for you.” She said, her hand resting on your cheek and caressing it lightly. 

You only shrugged, not quite ready to leave your space yet. If you moved now, you had to face the world again, had to recover from the night’s meltdown and move on. It was daunting, nothing short of terrifying, and the longer you could delay the process, the better.

“The three of us have cleared our day, should you need us. We’ll go at your pace, do things how you want. I’ll be right here.” 

You found solace in Ingrid’s company; having her here meant you could relax and focus on something else other than the noise in your head. Your thoughts were having a whale of a time up there, you couldn’t land on a single one as they were spiralling around too much to pick one out. It was exactly that - just noise. But then you’d avert your eyes slightly to the left and land on a certain dark-haired woman, and everything went silent. Knowing that Alexia and Mapi were just a few metres away behind the door might have made you panic, but you trusted them both and knew that they were equally concerned about you as Ingrid was. As Alexia had told you since one of the first times you spoke to her, she wanted to be a person you felt comfortable with to go to about any problems, and you did trust her. Mapi too, though she came as an unspoken package deal with Ingrid, whether she liked that or not.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, surprising yourself as much as you did Ingrid. She frowned at you, wondering why of all things you could say after the difficult time you’d had in the last day, you chose to apologise.

“Sorry about what? You don’t need to apologise for anything, elskling.” She told you, finally moving her dead arm to hold one of your hands and squeeze it comfortingly.

“Yesterday. The match. Me.” Talking was still hard, but the guilt was monumental.

“The result wasn’t your fault. That’s just how football is sometimes, but we didn’t lose and we still have more group stage games to go. The whole team was off, it wasn’t your fault.” Ingrid reminded you, her eyes wide as she tried to get the message through to you.

“Yellow card.”

“You did get a yellow card, but we all saw the replay afterwards and you got the ball. The referee got it wrong. You also scored our only goal of the game, engel, don’t forget that.” She shuffled a little closer on her knees, placing another kiss to your forehead.

“Suppose so.” You grumbled a minute later, Ingrid smiling in amusement.

“You did so.” She commented, thumb still stroking along the skin of your cheekbone. “Did you have a bad meltdown last night?”

“Mhm.” You hummed dejectedly, overcome with shame and embarrassment at now admitting it to someone. The evidence of it was all around, you knew the trio in your house had seen it all, but there was something gut-wrenching about admitting it aloud.

“Okay. We’ll pick up the pieces and put you back together, don’t worry.” Ingrid stated resolutely, like there was no other option.

With the next thing you said, someone might have to come along and piece Ingrid back together.

“Why do they have to happen, Ingrid? I hate them so fucking much.” 

All your vulnerabilities poured out in two short sentences. Twenty-six years later and the process of a meltdown never got any less demoralising.

“I know, I know.” She moved from her place on the floor and clambered onto the bed behind you, recognising that you had entered a head space where you’d feel comfortable with it now. You confirmed that for her by rolling onto your side, allowing her to shuffle up and hug you tightly back to her chest. “Hey, think of it this way. This is your first one since moving to Spain, that’s amazing! I’m so proud. You’ve handled everything so well, I bet younger you is so proud too.”

Progress wasn’t linear, and it didn’t have the same definition in this case as it did for the majority of the population. Progress meant learning about yourself, learning what harmed you and what you couldn’t deal with, so that you could come up with solutions. There wasn’t a way to grow comfortable with certain things, like restaurants for example, it was about realising what precautions had to be taken beforehand and what support you needed afterwards. Progress was being able to ask people for help, it was having the courage to say no to plans you wouldn’t be able to cope with, it was accepting that yes, you were different, but no, it didn’t make you any less worthy than the next person.

You had made progress, but not the textbook definition of it. Autism took everything about the allistic world and re-defined it for itself.

“Thank you.” You said, voice cracking a little as you did so, a slither of a smile on your face when Ingrid kissed the back of your neck. “Love you, Ingrid.”

The defender felt as if her heart had burst upon hearing those two words. But with the swell of joy that filled her chest, quickly came the crushing sense of regret from earlier.

“I love you too. I'm sorry for not being here last night. I could have helped, or just been with you, and I didn't. I'm sorry for that.” 

Her apology tugged at your heart; you didn't blame her, not one bit. 99% of the time, there was no stopping these things, no matter what you tried or who you were with.

“It's okay. Thank you for being here now.” 

Ingrid nestled in closer at that, and the strength of her hug was the exact kind of pressure needed for the remnants of the dark cloud that had hung over you for a while to finally drift away. The pair of you stayed that way for a while, both more than happy to relish in the peace that had settled, but when there are two antsy women only a few feet behind the door, a disruption is inevitable.

“Can they come in? They’re both worried and will just want to see you're okay.” Ingrid asked quietly after one of them had knocked on the door. You nodded sheepishly, so Ingrid called them in.

“How are things going in here?” Mapi asked carefully, smiling at her girlfriend who gave her a reassuring nod.

“Good. We’re doing okay now.” Ingrid answered honestly, feeling just as relieved as the two Spaniards at the door looked.

“You guys can come in instead of hanging around by the door.” You told them, Ingrid stifling her laughter behind you.

“You two look cosy. Let me join, I'm jealous.” Mapi grinned, dramatically diving onto the bed and sighing contently as she threw an arm around Ingrid's waist.

Alexia was still lingering awkwardly at the door as three of you lay in one double bed, thinking that she didn't want to intrude on a friendship that had been around far longer than she'd known you. But, as you had done for months now, you continued to surprise her.

“Come lay here, Ale.” You waved her over and pointed for her to lay beside the bed on the ground.

Ale. Sure, everybody called her that, but today was the first time you called her that.

She came over in a heartbeat, probably too eager, but she immediately got down and laid on her back beside you. You looked down at her with a shy smile, red eyes and all, and she returned it instantly with pink cheeks.

“Have you eaten yet?” She whispered, looking at the untouched tray of goods next to her. As you shook your head, she reached to grab the paper bag of bakery-bought cookies she had found in your kitchen and opened them, before taking one out and breaking a bit off to give to you. “Cookies for breakfast.”

“Cookies for breakfast.” You gladly took it and ate it, all whilst smiling down at the woman on the floor.

Alexia Putellas, your captain, a World Cup winner, voted best player in the world numerous times, laying on the floor of your apartment just for you. Playing for this team, in this city, was still such a perplexing situation, though fortunately for all the right reasons.

The rest of the day was spent with Mapi and Ingrid as you had told Alexia to go to her family dinner she had initially cancelled. She was reluctant to do so, but eventually she agreed and you were left with Ingrid and her hyperactive counterpart. They kept you distracted enough throughout the day, going for a walk with you, watching a movie with you, even inviting you back to their apartment for dinner where you spent the majority of the time with Bagheera on your lap. Mapi made digs at the fact her cat loved you more than her, and you just sat there with a grin on your face, knowing it was true and revelling in it. 

At the end of the night, you insisted on going back to your own flat after telling the pair of them you were tired of third-wheeling. With tight hugs from them both and one last gloat from you as Bagheera followed you to the door, you left them and made the very short journey back home. You had unknowingly left your phone there, and as you checked it for the first time in a couple hours, there was a surprise waiting for you on it.

Alexia: Would you like to get breakfast with me tomorrow? 

Alexia: I can meet you at your apartment and we can walk somewhere of your choice

Alexia: But if you don't want to, that’s okay!

Her nervousness radiated through the phone with her slight spam of texts, and you couldn’t help but smile at how endearing it was. As if you could ever say no to that. Even if it was a last minute change of plan, all you were going to do tomorrow was maybe go on a run or go to the gym before staying home all day. This was a welcome surprise.

Sticking true to her word, she showed up at 9am on the dot. Anyone would assume it was the middle of winter in Norway with the way she was dressed, when it was just a rainy day in Barcelona. But she was there, a shy smile on her face that was very uncharacteristic for her as she handed you one of the two umbrellas she had in her hands.

“I do have my own umbrella here, Ale.” You teased her, though you took it and closed the door behind you. When you turned back, there was a red shade to her cheeks.

“Well, good morning to you too.” She grumbled, trying to act grumpy but the smile on her face forced its way through sooner than she wanted. As soon as it did, she drew you in for one of those hugs that you may or may not think about more often than you'd admit.

You both easily fell into step after that, heading towards a quiet little cafe you had frequented since your first week in Barcelona. It was a short walk from your apartment, but that didn’t stop the grumbled complaints from Alexia about the weather the whole way, though by the time you arrived you were quite sure she was doing it just to hear you laugh. Again, it surprised you just how naturally conversation flowed between you both. There was no awkwardness, no nerves, just unfiltered joy spilling from the both of you. It hit you then. You were just being yourself around her. And that’s why it felt so good.

There was no reason to mask around Alexia; you felt safe around her. You could do or say anything, and most likely she would just smile right back at you. She’d seen most versions of you by now, and yet here she still was, inviting you out for breakfast even if it did rain on her parade. She had seen you at your happiest in your first game for the team when she came sprinting over, leading the charge for her teammates to celebrate with you. She saw you yesterday morning after a night of horror, eyes red and puffy, wrapped up unmoving in bed, and she lay on the floor beside you still with a smile on her face. You had already let her in more than some of the people you were closest with back in Germany and her opinion never faltered. 

After finding a table, beside the window of course, Alexia went off to order for the pair of you. Though, when she came back, there was a surprise on your plate.

“Why’d you get me this?” You asked shyly.

“Because it is your… your comfort food, right? I thought you would like it.” She shrugged the gesture off, sitting down across from you like it was nothing. Like it didn’t mean everything to you. It wasn’t the cookie itself that had your heart racing, it was the thought behind it that topped your heart back up with the love it needed after the past thirty-six hours.

“They are, but you didn’t have to do this for me. Thank you.” You said, hiding your smile by taking a drink of the hot cocoa you had chosen.

“Eh, it’s nothing. Have you ever tried this?” She gestured to her choice of meal, one of her favourites. “Pa amb tomàquet.”

“I don’t like tomatoes.” 

“Oh no, cariño.” Alexia muttered after a few quiet moments, shaking her head and dropping her cutlery. “No, no, no.”

“What?” You said in amusement, entertained by her dramatics.

“You just stamped on my culture. You broke my heart.”

“I broke your heart, did I?” You said with a smirk. “You broke my heart when you complained about the rain the whole way here.”

“How can anyone like rain? It is sad and boring.” She argued in mock outrage, though of course she can’t last a second around you without smiling.

“The rain reminds me of home.” You revealed sheepishly. Alexia’s shoulders dropped and her face softened instantly. “Both Norway and Germany, actually.”

“No, I understand. I get it. I never thought about it like that but I understand.” She told you, watching as you nodded and looked out the window. “Do you get homesick?”

“Sometimes.” You admitted in a whisper a minute later, only to clear your throat and turn your attention back to your food and start eating.

“You… you never speak Norwegian with Ingrid.” She stated, though it was clearly more of a question.

“Uh, nope. I find it hard to learn new languages, so when I learnt English and moved to Germany, it was like it became my first language. I can speak Norwegian still, obviously, and I would love to learn Spanish and Catalan but it’s just really tiring switching between languages. Mentally tiring, that is. I never learnt German other than a few basic phrases. It’s just too much to process if that makes sense.” 

You stumbled your way through an explanation of a minor secret you’d been a little shameful of for a while now. It was common courtesy to learn and understand the language of a new country, as well as immersing yourself in that and the culture, but it was something you had always struggled with. Admitting that to someone like Alexia was slightly terrifying.

“That’s okay, a lot of people here speak English so you don’t need to worry about learning the languages. But if you ever want some lessons, if or when you are ready, I could help. Or Aitana, or Jana, or someone else.” 

It was suggestions like that, easy solutions that were offered with no second thought, that made Alexia so endearing.

There was one thought that was ever-present in the back of your mind though, it had been for a while, but the meltdown brought it on even stronger. Once the pair of you had finished your meals and were merely just enjoying each other’s company, it came out before you could stop it.

“Do you think I’m doing well here?”

Alexia paused for a moment to think carefully, before placing her cup down and smiling over at you.

“I do. You want to know what I think?” You nodded with no hesitation. “I remember watching you play against us in the Champion’s League last year, you really caused us a lot of problems. And then I heard the coaches say they were thinking of signing you, and I really wanted you to come because I know you would flourish here. Our play style suits you well, and you are an amazing striker. Your positioning, your creativity, awareness, you are a well-rounded attacker. And outside of the pitch, well… the team is much better off with you here.”

“What do you mean?” You said, almost in a whisper.

“You are just a happy person. The happiest person in the changing room. Any one of us could be having a bad day, but then you are there with your smile and your cheeriness and it really lifts us all up.”

Dumb-founded. That's all you felt in that moment. 

Perhaps your face may not show that considering there was a thoughtful frown on your face as you processed the words nobody had ever said to you before, but then the slight shock wore off and… nope, still dumb-founded.

“Really?” You had to double check, because is that honestly what other people thought of you?

“Yes. It's the truth. Ingrid said she has never seen you bond like this with a team before. Believe me when I say you fit in, everybody loves you. We can't imagine what it's like to not have you now.” 

Well. You just might have to start believing that. What choice were you left with otherwise?

—

Something snapped inside of you after that day. A new problem had formed, one you couldn’t have expected at all. Had you dealt with a similar situation in the past? Yes. But those were much more convenient occasions. This one couldn’t be more inconvenient if you tried.

You couldn’t talk to Mapi about it, or Ingrid, or Alexia. Definitely not Alexia. 

It’s just a crush. You could get over a crush. 

Of course you fall for the first person who showed you a bit of humanity. What’s not to like about Alexia?

She lets you ramble to her when you want to, she sits in silence with you when you need it. During briefings at training, she’ll hand over a pack of chewing gum as she knows it helps you to concentrate or, even in some situations outside of training, she takes her rings off and lets you wear them so you can fidget with them instead of your bad habits of skin picking. She’s seen you very close to your worst, and she’s seen you at your best. She gives you her sunglasses whenever a place is too bright, not just because of the sun as it can be any kind of light, and she lets you squeeze her hand to death during take-offs and landings on planes whilst travelling for away games.

Maybe, maybe, it was a tad more than a crush. It’s not your fault though! She chose to act this way, she had inserted herself right into your life the moment she met you, so… what else were you supposed to do?

Oh boy. 

“Frido! I need your help!” You said in an urgent, hushed whisper. The unsuspecting Swede was just walking to her car after training when you called her name from the window of your own vehicle.

“Everything okay?” She checked with a concerned scowl to her eyebrows, coming over in an instant.

“Yes! Well, no, but yes, but- just get in the car please.” 

With a humoured smile, Frido headed around to the passenger side and hopped in, turning to you with an open expression.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem a bit agitated.” She probed once more. Being long-time friends with Ingrid meant you had obviously come to know Frido well too, and she was part of the group you found yourself in at Barcelona, with Aitana and Esmee also. Esmee was the person you sat with on the coach most of the time, you both gave each other the calmness needed after a game… but that was when you weren't with Alexia, of course.

“Yes, I am just screwed, Frido. So screwed.” You groaned, clutching the steering wheel tightly and dropping your forehead to rest on it.

“Why?” 

“I shouldn’t tell anyone but it’s going to explode out of me if I don't talk about it soon. And I can’t tell Ingrid or Mapi, so here we are.” Then you slumped back against your chair, a frustrated sigh leaving you as you crossed your arms.

“You can tell me anything, they don’t have to know. Getting it off your chest will help.” Frido smiled reassuringly at you. 

It probably wasn’t a good idea to tell anyone about it. Having someone else know made it a reality, for you right now it was just a thought, a daydream. But telling Frido would turn this stupid delusion into an actual, real problem rather than something you thought about at night. And during the day. Actually, most of the t- it doesn't matter. 

“You must never tell a soul, Frido.” You glared at her in warning, though you trusted her with your life. “And you can't make fun of me or laugh either. It's not funny.”

“Never, snuppa. I promise.” She swore.

Another sigh as your eyes flitted around anxiously, moving from the car beside you, to the sky, to the blonde waiting patiently for you to find the words you need. Maybe the world will be thrown upside down when you tell her, but it's either that or an implosion, so.

“I like Alexia. Really like her. And it's going to ruin my life.” 

It did not feel better saying it out loud.

“Why wou-”

“Because she is the captain! She’s the leader, everyone looks up to her, she's just being a human and now I have a crush on her! That's not fair on her! All she’s doing is just being nice to me, like everyone else on the team, and my stupid brain had to choose her. Of all people in the world, her! It's going to mess everything up, I've just found my place and I'm finally feeling somewhat comfortable here and then this happens and I just- I hate it!”

Your words shocked yourself, even. Apparently it was a much bigger problem than you initially thought. In reality, you should have picked up on that, relationships historically haven't gone well for you. 

Everybody says they don't care that you're autistic until your disability actually debilitates you. One glimpse of it and they’re gone. Then the world has the audacity to label you as someone who is ‘high-functioning’ with ‘low support needs’ just because you can get up in the morning and go to work. That doesn't mean you struggle any less, you’re not ‘mildly autistic’, those struggles are simply just internalised, therefore other people experience your autism mildly. If anything, they should be thanking you. Thanking you for making their life easier by making your own a million times harder.

Should Alexia ever see you during one of your meltdowns, she’d probably run for the hills. Quit her career, change her name, and flee to another country. That’s what most people did.

“Slow down, slow down. Come back to me, you are spiralling.” There were soft hands holding your own now, stopping you from palming them roughly against your arms, something you did in anxious moments like now. Movement helped you process things, it was no wonder you became a footballer.

“I don’t know what to do, Frido, it will ruin everythi-”

“Hey, be quiet for a moment.” She urged gently, and you turned to look at her with panic in your eyes. “This won’t ruin everything, that is just your anxiety talking. You’re allowed to have a crush on someone, skatt, you’re only human. It’s natural.”

“Yes, but it’s not the fact I have a crush, it’s who the crush is.”

“I know.” She paused for a second, figuring out the best way to help you around this. “When you talk to me, who do you see? Do you see Frido, your friend? Or do you see Fridolina Rolfö, the footballer?”

“I see Frido, my friend.” You answered skeptically.

“When you’re with Alexia, do you see her as Ale, your friend? Or do you see Alexia Putellas, your captain?” 

“She’s just Ale, but I don’t-”

“If you see Alexia like that normally, why are you picturing her differently in this case? As if she’s bigger than you and… unobtainable?”

Viewing it from another perspective definitely gave you some clarity. 

…But, after all, she is your captain?

“I don’t want to mess this opportunity up though. I was really worried I wouldn’t like it here, but now I do and I actually already love it more than Germany, but if I ever acted upon my feelings it could fuck it all up. I don’t know if I could handle that.” You said insecurely, chewing on your lower lip to keep the emotions at bay. 

When Frido had been silent for too long, you turned to look at her, only to find she was doing the same thing. As if she was deep in thought. Before you could coax whatever was clearly on the tip of her tongue out of her though, she was speaking.

“I know something that I shouldn’t. I’m going to tell you anyway because I think it will make you feel a lot better.” She began with a shy, yet excited expression to her features.

“What is it?” You prompted.

“Last week, in Seville. I was walking to my hotel room and… Mapi and Ale were ahead of me in the corridor. I don’t think they knew I was there, and I heard them having a conversation just like ours.”

Oh. Oh.

“How sure are you?” Your eyes searched her face, looking for even just an ounce of hesitation that would throw all this out the window for you. But it wasn’t there.

“I’m very sure, snuppa, I heard basically every word.” She said with an almost proud smile. “I don’t think you have to worry about anything. Sounds like Alexia feels the same as you do. And even if I hadn’t overheard that, it’s clear to a lot of us that Alexia felt that way anyway. Think of how much time she has spent with you since you joined. She doesn’t spend that much time with anyone on the team, to be honest.”

That caught your attention. Now that Frido mentions it, Alexia has spent a lot of time with you. There was that morning she took you out for breakfast, something you hadn't ever expected but after it, you wished it would happen every morning. She always chooses to sit next to you at any given point, whether that be in briefings or whilst travelling, as well as opting to partner up with you in training whenever the opportunity arises. She even took time out of her own evening to cook dinner for you and bring it to you once when you told her you had ran out of your meal prep. 

“I guess.” You mumbled with a frown.

“She’s just a girl after all. Like you.”

Once again, the world had decided to show you just how much your life can change with one single conversation.

—

Not that you acted upon anything, of course. Over a month passed by with things staying the same as they had been for a number of weeks before the revelation with Frido. Training, match, recovery day, repeat. Dinner at Ingrid and Mapi’s apartment every Thursday if the season schedule allowed it. Morning jogs on days-off, evenings spent basking in the golden glow of a Spanish sunset, some of the best you’d seen. There may have possibly been a few more breakfast outings with Alexia. And perhaps just one movie night. Or was it two? 

Regardless, the one good thing about having the natural ability to mask all the inner turmoil you had was being able to hide your feelings when you were around Alexia. On the other hand, your trait of analysing every detail of your life became a bit too exhausting. You were overthinking all of your actions - every word you said, the way you said it, what your hands were doing, what someone might interpret from your body language, every little thing you did kept you up at night. 

You definitely still liked her, that might… never go away. Those feelings only grew and weighed you down more and more, but you couldn’t distance yourself from her no matter how loud your mind screamed at you to do so. You liked her company, she ranked almost as high as Ingrid on your list of… list of what? People you liked? People you felt safe with? People you didn’t have to mask at all around? People you lov- too early.

There was just so much to think about, and so few solutions. There were literally two; you either tell her, or you pretend it never happened. What the hell were you meant to do with those options? Both were equally as terrifying. As if your fear of the future couldn’t get any deeper, you were now stood at a crossroads. Alexia could become the most important person in your life, or she could just become another person you leave behind in this free-for-all career. She could just slip into the past and become a distant memory. 

Massive leaps of faith still weren’t your thing. The fear of the unknown still ran rampant through your veins, and though you’d become a little more relaxed about certain things over the years, this was absolutely not one of those exceptions. The prospect of it all was just too overwhelming. Truthfully, you really didn’t think you could do this.

However, things all came to a head during the last training session of the year in December. Literally.

“Ale? Are you okay?” You asked in a strangled groan, one of your hands coming up to your head as you squinted through one eye to look for the woman you’d just clashed with.

“Oye, sit down. Ale is fine, you both hit heads though so you need to be checked for a concussion. Lay down.” Mapi demanded just as you got back up onto your knees. 

At that moment, you couldn’t have cared less about whether you had a concussion or not, all you cared for was that Alexia was okay. She was, maybe a black eye and a subsequent bruise to her ego, but she was fine. You had taken the brunt of it, straight to the temple.

You followed Mapi’s instruction and layed back down, your head already starting to throb quite a bit. Before you knew it, you were surrounded by some of the medical staff as they checked you over. Once they decided you were well enough to sit up, they urged you to do so as one of them came to cradle your neck to keep it steady. A bright light was flashed into your eyes, making you flinch, but they decided then that if you did have a concussion, it wasn’t too bad. The decision was made to take both you and Alexia inside as the rest of training went on, so the pair of you walked gingerly to the physio room. 

“You okay?” Alexia murmured quietly as you both trailed behind the physios a little. You ignored the way your heart fluttered when her hand found your forearm briefly, and instead blamed it on your head injury (though it may not be physically possible for those occurrences to be linked.)

“Mhm. Are you? I’m sorry that happened.” You replied. The collision was a bit hazy for you, you couldn’t exactly remember what had happened so if you were at fault, you had to make sure she knew it wasn’t purposeful. She had to know.

“No, no apologies, it’s just football. Happens all the time.” She reassured you, smiling comfortingly down at you as she held the door open for you.

In the room, the team ushered you both onto separate beds, forcing ice packs into your hands as they carried out more cautionary checks. And to add to the guilt you felt, they decided to rule you both out of the game tomorrow as a precaution. Your stomach dropped, dreading Alexia’s reaction. Everyone knew about her mentality, a missed game was a missed opportunity. You weren’t quite sure you could ever look her in the eye again.

The second the physios said you both could leave, you hopped off the bench and went to make a run for it. The sooner you could get home, the better. If you avoided the conversation, you could avoid the whole situation, and hide until the Winter break ended.

“Cariño, wait!” Alexia called out, managing to gently stop you by your wrist before you could flee. You didn’t put up much of a fight, you just sighed and lowered your head. Alexia gestured for the rest of the staff to leave the room for the time being, and that only made matters worse. Not only was she going to trap you in a conversation, there weren’t even any witnesses. “I just want to talk about something. Could you sit down?”

You had no choice but to entertain her.

Reluctantly, you sat back down on the physio bench you were on a moment ago, and copied Alexia’s position. Perched on the edge, legs hanging off the side, except your hands gripped the fabric of it quite a bit tighter.

“Sorry.” You whispered with a chagrined look to your face, eyes trained on the swing of your legs.

“What? Why?” Alexia asked. The confusion in her voice led you to look up at her with your own questioning glance.

“For getting us ruled out. We can’t play tomorrow now.” You told her, your eyes again looking anywhere in the room but at her. Then again, that always happened, no matter the occasion. 

“I told you that wasn’t your fault, you really don’t need to apologise. I’m not mad at you, so you don’t need to feel guilty or anything. We’re both okay, it’s just for our safety.” Alexia reminded softly, but with the head space you were in, you couldn’t believe her words just yet.

“What about the game though?” You uttered in a way akin to that of a down-trodden child, and Alexia could only smile in return at it.

“The team will handle it, they’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about anything, it’s all out of your control. Chin up.” Alexia said with a coy grin. 

She laughed freely when you physically tilted your head up and squeezed your eyes shut to give a cheesy smile, and the sound of it instantly calmed most of your worries. 

“Is that all you wanted to talk about?” 

“Um, no, actually. There’s another thing.” She scratched the back of her neck nervously as she spoke, and just like that your anxiety came rushing back. “I just, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way, so please tell me if I am because that’s not what I wan-”

Was she about to say it?

“Say it, Ale. Just say it.” You interrupted, because if she was going to say it, you needed it right now. You couldn’t wait a second longer.

“Right. Well…” There was a bright redness to her cheeks, not just from the head-to-head a while ago. “I, um, I… I like you. Really like you, actually. As in, I want to go on a date with you.” 

She actually said it.

“In a romantic way?” Your deadpan tone didn’t exactly help Alexia’s nerves in that moment.

“Uh, I’m not sure there’s any other kind of date, cariño, so yes, in a romantic way.” She laughed nervously. You were quiet for a few moments as you inwardly controlled your emotions so that you didn’t totally freak out in front of the woman who had just asked you on a date. 

You had to play it cool, right? That’s what everyone always said.

“Sure. When?”

It was comical, really. You’d waited this long for something to finally happen between you both, and now it seemed you couldn’t care any less. If Alexia could see into your brain right now though, it would be total chaos. Like a scene straight out of Inside Out.

“I guess now that we can’t play tomorrow and we are the only ones ruled out, we could go to the game together?” 

That was… actually a much better idea than you thought. Normally, people go on dates to the cinema or to restaurants or whatever other hellish activity neurotypicals chose to do. But a football game was common ground, something that the pair of you could talk about forever, and it was an environment that you were familiar with. That could absolutely work. A dream, actually. 

Still, you had to play it cool.

“But I’m already going to the game. And I would have to sit with you anyway. And all you would focus on is the game, it wouldn’t be much of a date.” You were teasing her at this point, whilst also worrying that perhaps you had taken it too far again, but Alexia understood you by now. She’d caught on, and this was her favourite version of you she had seen so far.

“Fine, it doesn’t have to be a date then! You could have just said no instead of breaking my heart!” She argued theatrically, a wave of euphoria rushing through her when you threw your head back and laughed. “How about we go out for food after, that can be our date? We can go to one of the markets and get dinner from a food truck and go on a walk, instead of a restaurant. Does that sound like a better date?”

“Yeah, but I was going to say yes to the football game anyway.” You shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly, a hint of a smirk on your face as you stood up to put your ice pack away. Alexia watched you do so with a huge smile on her face at your antics. You turned back to her, a hand on your hip where you stood not too far away from her now. “Dinner still sounds good though.”

“You are so annoying.” Alexia hopped down off of the bench and wandered over to you with a shake of her head, throwing her own ice pack down next to yours. “You know that?”

“It’s a love language. Get used to it.” 

The midfielder chuckled under her breath. Secretly, she hoped she was able to get used to it.

“Wait, what do I have to wear tomorrow?” Your eyes suddenly went wide in panic, staring up at Alexia like she held all the answers in the world.

“Well, it is just a football game and a walk, so whatever you are comfy in. Why?” 

“Because it’s a date, I don’t know what you expect me to wear.” You fretted. It had been a long time since your last date. And this was quite possibly the most important one so far.

“I have no expectations, cariño, just make sure you’re warm and comfortable.” Alexia brushed it off like it was nothing, a notion that silenced all those doubts once again. She had a real habit of doing that.

“Okay.” You nodded. 

You realised your close proximity then, noticing you were both quite close. There was one thing that came to mind, but it was surely too early for that. No matter how much you wanted it. One step at a time. Instead, you shyly held your arms out and looked up at her.

She immediately knew what you were after, and who was she to deny you of that. You melted into her embrace the second she invited you in, finally being able to relish in the comfort her hugs brought without overthinking it.

“You are quite oblivious, you know?” Alexia stated with a smirk to break the silence. 

“Shut up, you’re ruining it.”

—

You couldn’t sleep that night, you were way too excited for your date. You were like a giddy kid at Christmas, the smile didn’t leave your face for more than a second. Ingrid came around that night with the intention of checking up on you, but she never could have predicted what information she was walking back to her apartment with. When she found out, she thought she was excited, but Mapi, well, she was on a whole other level. Long story short, Bagheera didn’t surface from under the sofa until the Spaniard had long gone to bed. 

The game kicked off at 2pm, meaning from the second you woke up at 7am sharp, you had way too much energy. Nervous energy. But there was one thing you noticed immediately. You didn’t feel scared, or anxious, or like you wanted to totally avoid the whole situation altogether. You were excited. You woke up feeling like a normal girl going on a date with someone they liked. 

It was new. Refreshing. You felt light, you can’t remember the last time you felt that way about something that would normally freak you the hell out. Spending time with Alexia didn’t feel like a chore, the way it did sometimes with anyone in your life. Rather than draining your social battery, it stayed at the same level with her. If you were feeling especially burnt out one day, it didn’t seem so sickening to have Alexia’s company there like it was with the thought of anyone else. Your mind was peacefully empty when with her, unlike the fast-paced monologue that ran pretty much all hours of the day, even when you were asleep. 

For once in your life, you were going to be optimistic. Because the woman you were meeting had never given you any reason to be otherwise.

So when she knocked on your apartment door, opting out of firing a text your way to say she had arrived, the surprise of not only her presence but the bouquet in her arms was met with a bright smile from yourself. You immediately took them from her and bounded towards the kitchen area to tuck them safely into a vase. Alexia gazed at you the whole time, feeling her own sense of disbelief at the situation she had found herself in. Never could she have imagined falling for you like she had when she met you for the first time six months ago, but she was happier than ever because of it.

There was a beaming smile of her own on her face, and her eyes crinkled with unfiltered joy when you leaned up to kiss her cheek quickly, before rushing around the flat to get everything you needed. Sunglasses, your coat to go over the matching jumper and joggers you were wearing (Alexia did tell you to dress comfortably, after all), and a cap for good measure. Between you both, there was a distinct difference between the amount of clothing layers, something that made you laugh.

“What are you laughing at?” Alexia grumbled, watching you adjust your hair in the mirror after putting your hat on, huffing when it wasn’t agreeing with you.

“You look like you’re dressed for a Norwegian winter. It’s ten degrees.”

“That is cold for me, cariño.” She chuckled, before moving to stand between you and the mirror, and helping you to sort your hair how you wanted it. You blushed and lowered your hands, looking up at her with a shy smile as she worked. “There. You look cute. Cosy.”

“Thank you.” You hummed, cheeks aching from the intensity of your smile when Alexia took hold of your hand and gave it a light squeeze. “You look… warm.”

“Enough with your teasing, let’s go.” Alexia tutted, though she kept your hand in hers as the pair of you left your apartment. It wasn’t until you got to the car that you both reluctantly let go, shooting each other a bashful look before getting into Alexia’s car.

When you arrived at the stadium, both of you spent some time with the team in the locker room, and Alexia addressed them all quickly before you left to find your seats. You had full faith in the team, it was luckily just a league game that most of the younger members of the team would be playing anyway. To be honest, you were quite thankful to not be playing, because it had given way for something better instead.

The majority of the game was spent by both of you talking endlessly about football, both tactical discussions about the game and personal stories for you both. For Alexia, she spoke about how she came to love it so much and how it took her family’s relationship and togetherness to a whole new level. For you, you told her how playing football was the only job you could see yourself succeeding in. The system was routine-based, your work attire was a jersey and shorts, and you were indulging in your special interest everyday of the week. It was an autistic’s person dream to be able to do that, something you were grateful for every time you stepped onto a football pitch. Any other work environment, and you might not have survived. 

Alexia hung onto every word you said, just as you did for her. Learning more about each other was something you both took great interest in, because every detail about your past was how you had become the people you were today. Maybe it was too early to class it as such, but falling in love was a phenomenon that people took for granted nowadays. It’s rare, it’s special, and it’s beautiful. Two people, from entirely different backgrounds, leading unique lives with respective struggles and wins the other hadn’t experienced, only to go on and share every high and low together. Yeah, pretty special in your book. 

With you both being in view of the stadium’s crowd, you were mindful of the watchful eyes around. There was one exception though; during the later stages of the game, the other team had quite a fierce counter attack, something that had both you and Alexia on the edges of your seat. Though, as they neared the goal, the match was the last thing on your mind when Alexia’s hand landed on your knee in anxious anticipation. That hand didn’t move, even when Cata saved the shot with ease. Instead, she just settled back into her seat and turned to you with a deep breath out, the tension leaving her. Then she noticed what she’d done, but before she could retract it, you simply gazed up at her and put your hand on top of hers. 

It remained that way until the whistle blew a few minutes later, when you stood up to make your way down to the rest of the team. You got onto the pitch, Alexia and yourself splitting ways to go and talk to your other teammates. Two familiar faces came bounding over to you and before they even spoke, you could tell what they were going to say just by the smiles tugging at their lips.

“How’s it going?” Mapi asked, poking you in the ribs.

“It’s not gone anywhere yet, we were more focused on the game. But it’s been nice, really nice. It doesn’t feel much different to the other times we’ve hung out, is that good or bad?” You replied with a nervous chuckle, and you got your answer in the form of an excited squeal from Ingrid.

“That’s a good thing! That’s what it was like on our first date, right María?” Mapi nodded enthusiastically, giving you a double thumbs up for extra emphasis. “See! I’m sure you’re doing great, skatt, and I am so happy for you.”

“Me too, preciosa, so happy. Think of the double dates!” Mapi shook your arm vigorously at that, the three of you laughing.

“Let me get through the first one, then I’ll think about it.” That sobered the pair of them up as they nodded in a calmer manner, before they both surged forward to wrap you up in a hug.

“Oh- she’s coming, incoming.” Mapi whispered, pulling away and spinning you around.

“Shall we go, cariño? It might be busy there, so the sooner the better.” 

Just like that, you were being whisked away back into Alexia’s car. She drove to the market, which was decorated for the festive seasons, something you gasped at in awe the second you saw it. Alexia fought off a smile at your reaction which she found much more endearing than she thought she would, and she instantly knew it was a good idea to bring you here. Though you were flying back to Norway in a few days’ time for Christmas back at home, she had a feeling you were a bit more homesick than you were letting on, considering the vast difference in the season between Spain and Norway. Her plan to bring you here, not only for a date, but to cheer you up a bit, was already proving to work.

For a couple hours, you went from stall to stall with a childlike wonder, dragging Alexia along behind you with a tight grip on her hand that you said was just because of the busyness of the area, but both of you revelled in it secretly. That became the truth when you were walking away from the market, slowly heading in the direction of Alexia’s car, until she took you in another direction. Turns out, she was leading you to a beautiful walled garden you had no idea even existed, but the second you saw it you fell in love. Even if it may not have been as stunning as it usually was in the summer, it was still more than enough to capture your attention. 

“This is amazing, Ale, how did you know this was here?” You wondered, head on a swivel looking at each tiny detail, as if there wasn’t enough time in the world to admire its beauty.

One day, in the future, Alexia will reveal that that’s how she feels about you. There are layers to you, and she fears she won’t have enough time in her life to uncover and explore each one. You hold beauty in your physical features, that was the first thing she noticed about you, but it’s the grace of your heart and how you proudly wear it on your sleeve that she adores the most. It's the sparkle in your eyes when you ramble about the things you love most, the unabashed care you treat everyone with, your humour that constantly keeps her on her toes, the purity of your soul and how you have enough unconditional love to give to nearly every being on the planet. There’s plenty to love about you, but that still doesn’t feel like enough for her.

“I have lived here for most of my life, preciosa, I know Barcelona like the back of my hand.” She said, and maybe if you weren’t so oblivious, you might have seen the adoration present in her gaze.

“So you’re saying you know more places like this? And you’ve kept them a secret all this time?”

“Yes, I will show you them all, don’t worry.” She chuckled, slowly walking over to where you were stuck staring at an abundance of pansies in one area of the garden. “Those are Alba’s favourite.” 

“This whole place is my favourite. I love it, thank you for taking me here.” You turned your attention from the flowers and back up to Alexia, who didn’t seem to take any interest in her surroundings. She was just smiling down at you. “What are you smiling at?” 

“Hmm?”

“You’re just standing there, smiling. You haven't even looked around yet. What are you smiling like that for?” You asked in utter confusion. She was genuinely just stood there, perfectly still, seemingly lost in her thoughts, with a soft smile on her face that’s directed solely at you. Instead of answering, she laughs, to your annoyance. 

“I’m just happy, cariño. Happy to be here with you, on a date.” She answered, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Oh. Okay.” You said, hoping the dim lighting from the street lamp wasn’t enough for Alexia to see the blush on your cheeks. “I’m really happy too. I can’t believe you like me.”

You didn’t really mean to say that, but the words tumbled out of you regardless.

“Why do you say that?” Alexia questioned with a frown, deftly taking hold of your hands.

“I don’t know.” You mumbled, looking down as your feet fidgeted on the spot, kicking a stone away from underneath you. “I can be a lot, I guess.”

“Well, luckily for you, I have seen your ‘a lot’ and it’s enough for me. You don’t have to worry about that, I promise.” Alexia replied, earnesty clear in her voice. She leaned forward then, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Why do you put yourself down like that?”

“Because I want to be your girlfriend, but I want you to know what you’re getting into.” You told her, taking a slight step back. 

“Loving another human, that’s all I’m getting into.” She took a cautious step closer. “That little voice is taking over, cariño, take a breath with me and know that I’m not going anywhere.”

Trying to calm down is quite hard when there’s a beautiful woman in front of you being so kind that she makes your head spin. Or when she’s giving the softest forehead kisses in all of mankind and holding your hands with a delicateness you’ve never experienced. She’s not just holding your hands right now, she’s got your heart in the palm of her hands.

“I don’t need anyone to take care of me.” You blurted out, sharply stepping back from her again. 

“I know. You are the strongest person I’ve met, and you are more than capable of taking care of yourself. But who’s to say you can’t have someone by your side anyway?” She smiled like it was nothing. As if her words weren’t everything you’d ever wanted to hear. “Are you scared of me leaving?”

“Yes.” You whispered quietly, swallowing the lump in your throat and growing the confidence to look back up into her eyes.

“I’ve learnt a lot about you these past few months. Not a thing I now know has deterred me from you. I don’t think anything could. All I ask is that you take a chance and let me show you how much I adore and admire you. The feelings, the worries and doubts you have, they go both ways, cariño. I am worried that I might not be good enough for you and that I am not what you need. I am scared that I will get things wrong, and that I-”

You had heard enough, she’d proved her point.

You leant up on the balls of your feet, and kissed her. And she returned it almost instantly. Her hands dropped yours and landed on your hips, steadying you on your tip-toes. Yours wrapped around her neck, drawing her somehow closer. And just like everything had been so far with Alexia, it was easy. It was everything you dreamed of and more. Here, somewhere in Barcelona, not only had you made a life for yourself in just six months, you’d gained a new addition to it too. 

Alexia had taught you a lot in the short time you had known her. But there was one thing that stood out to you; she had unknowingly taught you, just through her actions, that love is accommodation and consideration. It’s knowing what the other needs, and being there when they need it. It won’t be 50/50 everyday, in your case there will be times where it’s 90/10, and there will be occasions that are the same for Alexia. Your struggles don’t define you, and Alexia’s don’t define her. You’re worth it, just as much as she is. Just as much as everybody else.

Just because you’re stuck with a label for the rest of your life, a disability that beats you down when you want anything but that, those don’t mean that everything has to be hard. The truth is, when a genuine connection is found, things can be easy. They can be peaceful. With Alexia, you feel seen, as if you’re being mirrored back to yourself. Now, by loving the right person, you realise that other people shouldn’t always make you feel exhausted, they shouldn’t be the reason why you retreat back into yourself, and most importantly they shouldn't make you feel like you’re impossible to love. 

Life will continue to try and break you down, there’s not a soul on earth that can entirely protect you from that, but having Alexia by your side, just like she said, can lessen the burden. After all, a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved, and joy shared is joy doubled. You have to live, you have to feel,  you have to love, you have to take risks. Because if you hadn’t done that all along, where would you be now?

[maxidentscene]

anger management

⚘ genre. fluff, angst but not hella heavy idk i tried to make it pretty lighthearted

⚘ members. ot8

⚘ synopsis. post argument with bf!skz

chan checks on you even if you’re ignoring him

It had been a few days since the two of you went at it, you honestly couldn’t even remember what the argument was about. Everyone was just aware that the both of you were strictly not on talking terms, no questions asked

Truthfully, you missed him. Missed his dimples, missed his squeaky laugh, missed how his scent was so strong and comforting when you hugged him close. Fighting was so overrated but you couldn’t even find it in yourself to speak first

That’s why your heart leaped out of your throat the second you saw his name in your notifications. He had been the first to bite, swallowing his pride and asking if you needed any essentials while he was out shopping. You felt fragile, teary eyed as you typed the fastest you’ve ever typed in your entire life, letting him know that all you really needed was his presence

You stood in the doorway when he knocked, embracing each other and relaxing into each others arms. “We aren’t ever doing this again,” you sniffled against his shirt, that little giggle you’ve missed painting a smile onto your face. “Got it?”

“Yes!” He cried out with a laugh, jumping and flinching away from you as you pinched his side playfully. “I got it! Stop it!”

lee know takes you out as an apology

Here you were, laying face down on your bed, cheeks burning hot and shoved into your plushy pillows. Just minutes ago, you’d been scolding Minho quite angrily for a stupid reason, so worked up that you slammed the bedroom door in his face without second thought

Naturally, guilt had washed over your entire being almost immediately and you were currently planning out an apology in your head. Maybe a massage, maybe run him a relaxing bath and wash his hair for him, pay for the cat’s monthly supply of litter

Soft taps of knuckles against the door startled you. “Get dressed,” Minho’s voice chimed behind the wood, and you did as you were told, wiping your wet face and tugging a clean top over your head. It was the least you could do after your outburst

“Where are we going?” You asked gently as he took your hand in his, nose stuffed up and congested with all of the aggressive crying you did. He spared you a glance, sending a small smile your way before leading you to the uber he had called up

“Dinner,” he placed his hand on your head, soothingly patting you the same he would do to his cats. You melted in his touch, your mind and body both defeated. “I think I have a few things to fix between us.”

changbin can never stay mad at you

Teasing was an everyday thing with you and the boys, always constantly throwing friendly jabs at each other for being bad at a game or folding laundry a weird way. Today’s target was Changbin, and not knowing he was already in a bit of a sensitive mood, you had taken it too far on accident

He had left the room in a hurry, storming down the hallway and locking himself in his room as you sat on the couch, dumbfounded. “Look what you did,” Chan jokingly shook his head in disapproval before patting your back. “Luckily it would kill him to be mad at you. Go give him some love and say you’re sorry.”

Taking Chan’s advice, you hurried to Bin’s room and swallowed a lump in your throat as you knocked. “Answer me,” you whined from the other side, heart feeling a bit lighter as he opened the door with a small pout on his lips, the heated blush on his skin slowly calming down. “I’m sorry,” you coo and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your head on his chest. “I didn’t mean it.”

You could faintly hear Chan’s laugh in the living room and it made you giggle too because he was totally right, Changbin quite literally became putty in your hands and enveloped you in a strong hug. “You aren’t funny,” he sighs into your shoulder. “Literally so not funny.”

“Yes, yes,” you sighed before giving his ass a light smack. “I know.”

hyunjin gets extra clingy once all is well

Clingy is an understatement. Hyunjin has not let you go ever since you entered the dorm, and that was an hour ago. He’s got his head in your lap, snuggled against your stomach and humming at the feeling of your fingers in his hair. “You’re done being mad at me, right?”

You furrow your brows and tug at his light strands just a bit, earning a soft smack on your arm. “You were mad at me too, don’t act like I was the bad guy here.”

He giggled at your stern voice before completely wrapping his arms around your torso, cheek squished against your arm as he stared up at you. His eyes were hard to read sometimes, so deep in thought you weren’t sure what he was feeling. They flickered with an emotion that you couldn’t pick apart and you sighed, hoping he wasn’t about to cry

“I really am sorry,” he murmurs, twisting his head a bit to kiss the skin of your arm closest to him. “I hate fighting. Didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Your sweet boy. His heart was too big for his body, you could feel the slight tremble of his body against yours and you could only give him a smile. “I know, Hyune,” you flicked his forehead before leaning down to plant a kiss on it. “You never mean to make me upset, I know that. I’m sorry, too.”

han isolates until you offer some sweets

“Where is he?” you sigh sadly, arms aching as the plastic bags you carried were starting to weigh them down. Hyunjin jumped up to take them from your arms, setting them on the counter and shooting you a sorry look. He must’ve heard the yelling last night, it would’ve been hard to miss, honestly

“He’s holed up in his room,” Hyunjin pointed a finger towards his room before rummaging through the bags. “Oh, you’ll win him back with all of this, that’s for sure,” He clapped excitedly before sneaking a bag of gummies and running off to his room. “Good luck!”

Picking up the bags again, you mentally prepared yourself. The fight was normal, couples argue from time to time of course, but seeing Jisung so defeated would break anyone’s heart. You used that as motivation to burst through the door, not surprised to find a curled up lump under the comforter

You leaped up and splayed yourself over his body, hugging him over the blankets and letting your presence be known before standing up to spill the snacks out of the grocery bags. A fluffy brown head of hair peeked out to witness the mess, eyes brightening up at the sight of all of the treats

“Forgive me?” You asked with your arms wide open, delighted to be scooped up just seconds later and tugged under his covers

felix is heartbroken and the members are begging for forgiveness

Days have passed since the two of you got into a disagreement, mutually deciding that time apart was best. Of course it wasn’t much of their business, but the boys at the dorm felt almost as if they were apart of the disagreement as well when they saw Felix. It was hard to watch, their usual bundle of joy and love slumping around in his pajama pants

Your phone rang as you were on your way to pick something up and you were shocked to see Seungmin calling you up. As soon as you accepted the call, pleas from all 3 of the cuties dorm residents were in your ear, whining and begging you to come back

“I’ve never seen him so upset,” Jeongin cried out jokingly, you could picture him clutching at his chest and falling to the floor. “It’s been days, don’t you miss us too? This family is falling apart! Get over here!”

These boys. You let out a drawn out sigh into the receiver before accepting their invite, turning on your heels and walking over to the dorm. You admittedly had missed Felix, the argument was petty and it felt like it was so long ago that it didn’t even matter anymore

Arms wrapped around you the second you step foot into the building, soft hands massaging the back of your neck and you melted instantly into the familiar touch. “You’re too sweet for your own good,” you laughed into his shoulder, watching the other three members giving you thumbs up in the kitchen

seungmin will not tolerate the silent treatment

To be clear, if it were a more serious situation, Seungmin’s approach would be a lot different than this but the topic at hand that made you annoyed was the fact that he accidentally lost you in the mall. It had been a busier day and he swore that you were just at his side as he was looking at shoes but suddenly, you were gone

He found you sitting on a bench outside of a store, pouting to yourself after you had tried to find him for several minutes. He hadn’t answered his phone so you just decided to let him find you himself

When he did, he laughed harder than he ever has before, eyes squeezed shut as he wrapped a lanky arm around your shoulder. “You gotta understand!” He held your face in his hands as you pretended to be mad, turning your face away. “I seriously thought you were right beside me!”

Fake glares were shot his way and you decided to just stay quiet, getting up and taking his hand to lead him to the food court. “This never works on me and you know that,” he whined before pulling out his wallet. “I’ll get you whatever you want, but you can’t stay silent on me.”

“Learn to answer your phone when it rings, Kim Seungmin,” you grumbled as you pulled him into the line of the ice cream place. “I want two scoops this time.”

jeongin doesn’t have the heart to shut you out completely

Honestly, it was your first argument as a couple and he really just did not know how to handle it. Usually he just needs to have time to himself to calm down, but he can’t sit here comfortably without you. God, when had he become so cringe?

Just looking around in his phone and room were constant reminders of you. You were everywhere, his space had became your space as well

There were the pictures, the old texts that you two sent when you were planning your most recent date, the videos that you had taken on his phone while he was getting hair and makeup done. He could see the sleeve of one of your favorite hoodies poking out of his closet and the gum wrapper you forgot to trash was sitting on his desk

Defeat. This was utter defeat. Jeongin picked up his phone, fingers quick to find your contact and ring you up, letting out a breath once you answered. “Come over,” he let out a small laugh, unsure if he’s doing this right. “I know I literally told you that I wanted space minutes ago but that was enough.”

You bit back a smile on the other side of the phone, heart pounding in your chest at how cute he was. It would really probably destroy Jeongin to be mad at you

[hells-dragon]

A Temporary Fix

Logan Howlett x Fem Reader

I made this post earlier, and I wanted to write a longer version. I hope you enjoy 🩷

18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

Contains: established relationship, creampie, cockwarming, p in v, daddy kink (it's used once), praise, small mention of cannibalism

Today was a bad day. You walked through the door with your fake smile acting like everything was alright, but Logan instantly knew you were upset.

He went to your room, knocked on the door, and waited for your voice before entering. When he went in, he saw you curled up on your bed. Walking over, he sat on the edge and softly asked what was wrong. You just shook your head saying you didn't want to talk about it.

Instead, you ask “can we just cuddle instead? I wish I could just crawl and curl up inside your chest but honestly I don't think it would be close enough so I'll just settle for your cock being inside me.”

“Course we can do that sweetheart”

Logan removed his clothes and so did you. You both lay facing each other, and you instantly buried your face in his neck. He stroked himself a few times before lifting your leg up and pushing himself inside you. You lay peacefully like that feeling his strong arms around you and his cock inside you. You've never felt more safe in your life.

After a good few minutes, you spoke up “did you know that another way to feel extremely close to someone is by consuming them. Cause that way a part of them will forever live inside you.”

Logan let out a soft chuckle “you planning on eating me bub?”

“Well the thought has been on my mind. That way, we could never truly leave each other as a part of us will live on inside the other.”

“I never thought about it that way. You make a good point there darlin.” Logan hooked his finger under your chin, bringing your head up to kiss you deeply. You kissed back with just as much passion.

One of your hands went into his hair while Logan gently grabbed hold of your leg and started slowly rocking his hips. You moan into his mouth as he turns you onto your back and picks up the pace.

Both legs are now wrapped around his waist, his lips are on your neck marking you as his in between saying the sweetest things in your ear praising you for being a good girl and taking him so well. You're brain turning to mush with each thrush of his hips. The only sounds coming from your lips are moans as you get fuck just right. Logan lifts your leg over his shoulder with this new angle he can get deeper into your guts. You let slip a “Hmm daddy fuck yesss” and the animalistic switch in Logan's brain has now gone to the max. The speed increases the only thing you can do is grip his back dragging your nails down. Although any marks won't stay because of his regeneration factors that doesn't stop you from sinking your teeth into his neck and drawing blood. Logan hisses before doing the same to you. The mixture of pain and pleasure is what sends you over the edge. Logan fucks you through your orgasm before flipping you onto your stomach leaning over you and continuing his merciless pace. You're very close to your second orgasm and from the grunts coming from Logan you can tell he is too. You both cum at the same time your eyes roll back into your head as you black out for a few seconds.

When you come too, Logan asks if you're alright with the most concerned look on his face. You assure him that you're alright. Logan then gets up and walks out, coming back with a glass of water and a damp cloth. You finish your glass before Logan cleans you up and lies back down beside you. He pulls you into his arms, kissing your forehead as he begins gently tracing lines on my back. You end up falling asleep very peacefully with Logan not that far behind.

[dira333]

Date Nights - Aizawa Shouta

From the Date Night Series - Tagging @alienaiver

Edit: You need to have this visual while reading

1.

“Are you ready to go?”

Shouta looks up from his desk. He’d been so close to resting his head on it, to giving his tired eyes some much-needed rest. 

Your smile is warm and inviting. And it makes something tingle in the back of his brain, something he’d been trying to remember all week.

“Oh no,” he groans softly, “I forgot our date.”

Your smile doesn’t falter.

“I heard about your day from Hizashi,” your voice does not carry any resentment yet his heart is thundering in his chest. 

God, he’d been so anxious about it, had been pondering where to go and what to do for hours, how could he forget?

“Let me just get a coffee real quick and we’ll be good to go,” Shouta insists. He’ll also need at least five minutes in a bathroom and a spare change of clothes. He knows he looks more like a homeless person than anything else right now and he probably smells like it too.

“No need,” you wave him off. His heart stutters to a halt. 

Please don’t cancel, Shouta thinks, just as you reach out and take his hand. Your fingers are warm against his own cold ones, bad circulation be damned.

“I asked you out, so of course I planned the date. Come on, we don’t want to miss anything.”

“But coffee-” He manages, his heart pitter-pattering away as he follows you down the hallways of the school.

They are deserted, thankfully. As much as he loves the feel of your hand in his, he couldn’t bear it if anyone saw. 

Your car is a lime-green monstrosity. You smile sheepishly when he stares at it.

“I like bright colors,” you shrug, “And I’ve never lost my car in a car park since I’ve bought it.”

He can’t argue against that. The seats are soft and he can feel himself slipping, almost falling asleep against the window. When he jerks away, adamant to at least look awake if he’s not looking like much else, he finds your hand resting on his knee. His mouth runs dry. Can he? Is he supposed to? 

He puts his hand on yours and you turn to smile at him before looking back at the road. 

It’s a quiet ride. Somewhere in the organized chaos of his brain, he jots down that you don’t listen to music while you drive. It’s a welcome change from sharing rides with Hizashi.

“We’re here.” You park in front of an apartment complex. “Come on up.”

Your keys jingle in your hand as you walk in front of him, up the stairs and down a hallway. You open the door that has your name on it.

His heart thunders traitorously. Did you bring him to your place for your first date? Why?

His mouth won’t let him form words, so he follows you silently, his mind racing ahead. 

It’s only when he’s slipped out of his shoes and pulled on the bunny slippers you’ve placed for him, that he makes sene of what’s going on. 

In the middle of your living room is a fort of pillows and blankets, big enough to house All Might in his muscle form if he wanted to.

Shouta stops and stares. You do flourish your arms. “Tada! Do you want something to drink first? I thought it was a good idea because you honestly always look like you don’t get enough rest and it’s important to take care of each other’s needs in a relationship and I asked you out so-” 

It’s the first time he’s heard you rambling today and the familiar sound soothes his nerves a little. At least you’re nervous too.

He steps forward, boldened by your own actions, and kisses you.

You sink into it right away, arms thrown around him to pull him even closer.

When you pull back first, he can’t help but chase after you, to sink further into your embrace as you giggle with your face pressed against his neck.

“I’ll make you something to drink, okay?” You whisper, face still hidden away. “Make yourself comfortable.”

He wakes up hours later, throat perched, head in your lap.

You’re reading something on a tablet, one hand free to drag itself through his hair in a motion that could put him back to sleep again.

“So, about a second date…” You ask when you stop at his place in the morning so that he can get a fresh set of clothes before work. You’re not looking at him but your hands are squeezing the steering wheel, telling him how nervous you are.

He leans over and kisses you, pouring all his feelings into the gesture.

“There’s a bookstore in my neighborhood,” he offers, “We could go there after school. Today shouldn’t be as draining and even if, I want to go with you.”

Your smile could light up the world. It certainly lights up his.

-

2.

“Ready to go?” Shouta’s patting himself down as he asks. He’s got his keyes, his pain medication, his phone is fully charged and his wallet’s there too.

You’re still on the Couch, petting Muffin. The old tabby is purring so loud he can hear it from the entryway. 

“For what?” You ask, a little distracted by Muffin trying to chew on your fingertips.

“We’ve got a Date, honey. Why did you think Deku picked up Eri?”

“Because he wants to spend time with her?” You pull Muffin from your lap and deposit her on a pillow, kissing her head when she mews.

You yawn as you walk over, don’t cover your mouth in favor of brushing the pet hair from your legs.

“What kind of date?” You ask as you pull close and kiss him, snuggle into his embrace.

“There’s this new Bookshop a few blocks down. I walked past it a few times when I went to the park with Eri and it looked promising.”

“Really?” You furrow your brows. “How do I not know about it? I’ve never seen one when I go to the park with her.”

“That’s because we take a different route. More cats, less foot traffic.” He kisses your cheek and pushes you toward the bedroom. 

“Five minutes, you need a different sweater. I won’t go out with you looking like this.”

You stick your tongue out at him, but comply. 

When you come back, he can’t help the laugh bubbling in his throat. You’re wearing a Ganriki Neko sweater in purple and turquoise over a purple skirt and turquoise tights, an outfit he’s seen last at one of Hizashi’s costume parties.

“How do I look?” You ask, batting your eyelashes at him.

“Like I need sunglasses to take you in,” He jokes.

The walk to the bookstore is short and quiet. You’ve been distracted lately, 

Maybe it’s the new Class you’ve got or Eri’s recurring nightmares, but he’d been planning a date like this for a while now. Taking a break just hasn’t gotten easier now that they’re parents.

“Pspsps,” He leans down to feed a snack to the little black kitten that Eri has fallen in love with. It’s well groomed and clearly belongs to someone, but it loves coming over to say hi.

-

“I’ll get us some drinks,” Shouta declares the moment you step into the store. It’s lovely, not entirely rebuilt, but rather renovated, giving the old, darkened wood some new life. 

You nod and wander around, peeking at the shelves in search of something that tickles your interest. He finds you in the non-fiction aisle not much later, deeply invested in a cookbook.

“This has everything,” you explain. “How to eat during your pregnancy or if you want to increase the chances as well as how to feed children of different ages.”

“Okay? How are the recipes though? We’ve got plenty of cookbooks at home we don’t use.”

“True,” you grumble. It’s your least favorite thing about him, how he tends to stop you from impulse buying. He offers you your drink before you can dwell on that any longer.

“For you, sugar with a side of coffee.”

“Har Har.” You mock laugh before taking a sip of the concoction, furrowing your brows a little. “It tastes a little off,” you claim. “Did you ask for something from the menu?”

“No, I gave them your special recipe. Sorry, do you want something different?”

“No, it’s fine. They probably made it for the first time this way.” You take another sip and your brows relax. “I’m just a little weird today.”

“I’m a little weird everyday,” he offers and you lean into him, heavy, warm and familiar.

“Let’s take a look around, shall we?” He grabs your free hand with his, swings them around as he pulls you forward. There’s plenty to see and soon enough, his arms grow loaded with books. The newest edition of the manga Hitoshi reads, a signed biography of a Hero Hizashi’s still very enthusiastic about, bookmarks and a little Neko Nightlight for Eri, the list goes on.

“I need to sit down for a bit,” Shouta exclaims when you turn back towards the non-fiction again. “You can find me at the children’s books.”

“Okay.” You get on your tiptoes and kiss his stubble. “I won’t take long.”

-

Shouta’s halfway through a book about a little mole looking for a home when you come back. He’s accustomed to the sound of your footsteps, even if they come a little more hesitant, like now.

You’ve got one book in your arms, the title hidden as it’s pressed against your stomach. 

There’s a shy smile on your face as you turn it around to show him the cover.

“How to be Pregnant for Dummies.”

He reads it and reads it again. The news take a moment to seep into his brain but when it does, he almost takes down the book display with how fast he jumps from his seat.

“No way!” 

“SHHH!” Someone shushes him from the front. Shouta doesn’t care.

You’re smiling, eyes a little teary.

“Since when do you know?”

“I got the results today, but I missed my period so I’ve had a hunch for a week or so. It’s still pretty early.” You giggle when he peppers kisses all over your face, making it almost impossible for you to keep talking.

“Sorry, I was a little bit in my head the last few days.”

“It’s okay. It’s big news.”

“Hm. How do we tell Eri? And Hitoshi? And-”

Shouta turns around and pulls a book from the pile he wants to buy.

“Little Neko got a sibling?” You ask, a little dumbfounded. “How did you know?”

His smile is a little sheepish. He can never lie to you.

“I didn’t. But the Neko was cute.”

You laugh at that, pull him closer. It reminds him of their first second date. 

Of cuddling in a corner at the bookstore, away from prying eyes.

Some things will never change, even with a metal leg and a new life on the way.

-

“Where do you wanna go next?” He asks when the books are paid for, hanging off his right arm as you lean onto his left.

You blink up at him, eyes still a little red-rimmed from all the happy tears.

“When’s Eri coming home?”

“Two hours, maybe. Do you wanna go home and cuddle?”

You ponder that for a second, your hands warm on his. 

“Let’s get ice cream,” you decide, a wide smile on your face. “And when we get back, we can make a fort!”

Shouta pulls you close, presses a kiss onto the top of your head.

“I love you.”

“Mhm,” You grin up at him. “I love you more.”

My Kofi if you want to tip me

[internet-ink]

Misunderstanding

Warnings - Angst…kinda, first story after like a year, happy ending 🥳

Summary - Leah thinks you’re cheating.

A/n - I didn’t die…

———

“What the hell is this?”

The sound of your normally content girlfriend’s angry voice bursts through the door to your shared home, disturbing the peaceful vibe in your house.

You placed your book down and sat up properly on the grey sofa you and Leah had purchased when you moved in together six months ago. The two of you had been in a relationship for three years when you both made the decision to buy a house together and everything had been going so well, up until now.

When Leah finally made an appearance in the living room after chucking her training bag on the ground and stomping through the hall, your eyebrows furrowed as you saw the fuming look in your girlfriend’s eyes. You knew this was serious.

“Le what’s wrong? what’s happened?” You asked quickly as you stood up in anxiety, not knowing what to do or what the fuck was happening right now.

The confusion you felt grew when Leah scoffed at you. “Don’t call me that.” She snapped.

“What? Leah what’s going on? I’m worried.”

While you stood awkwardly Leah began to pace in front of you, still giving you no indication of what had gotten her so worked up. “Leah?” You whispered.

She stopped completely and just stared at you with tears in her eyes.

“So was this all just a lie then? The ‘I love you’s? The promises? Everything?” She spat at you, making your heart drop to your stomach and a nauseous feeling wash over you.

“Babe what? of course I love you, what are you on about?” You replied, getting more and more worried.

Leah chucked her phone at the sofa and when you turned around to look you honestly just felt more confused. It was a photo of you and another woman eating lunch together. The photo was taken a couple of days ago as you had recently cut your hair and you were confused on why Leah was so upset over you eating lunch.

“What’s that then? Got nothing to say for yourself?” Leah asked after a moment of silence, her tone sounding very angry.

You handed Leah’s phone back to her before looking at her with that same confused look you’ve had on your face since she had came in.

“That’s me eating lunch with a friend. How did you even get that photo?” You replied. You technically weren’t completely lying, you knew this woman from some of the previous events you had attended with Leah, however she wasn’t necessarily a friend. She was an event planner who also happened to dabble in proposals.

You had wanted to propose to Leah since last year, however you both didn’t live together and you wanted to see how that went before popping the big question. After three months of living together with Leah you got one of your friends to get her number for you and you met up with her a couple of times to plan the proposal.

“A concerned friend sent me it.” Leah replied sharply.

You sighed. “Look I’m a little confused on why you’re so angry at me over having lunch with a friend. Maybe you could explain more before you start screaming at me again.”

Leah shook her head at you before replying. “Is this her?” She asked in a shaky voice.

You put your head in your hands and groaned. “Who? Is that who? Leah you’re not explaining anything.”

“A message came up on your phone last week from Darcy. ‘does she suspect anything?’ So, I clicked on it and looked at a few messages-”

You interrupted Leah. “You went through my phone?” You reply in an annoyed tone.

This seemed to make Leah more angry. “Oh please! You have no right to be annoyed at me for that, you fucking cheated on me!” She shouted at you, making you flinch a little.

“No I didn’t. What the hell, Leah?” You replied back in a slightly raised voice.

She scoffed. “Shall I read you out the messages you sent? ‘Nope she’s in the dark,’ ‘She’s asleep I can call now.’ Are you fucking serious Y/N? Screw you!”

You sat down on the sofa with a groan. Out of context those messages did sound bad, however they were purely just about the proposal.

Tears started to well up in your eyes as you realised that the only way to resolve this would be to tell Leah about your plan to propose to her.

The sound of Leah laughing made you look up at her. “Oh so now you’re crying? You cheat on me and you’re fucking crying? Pathetic.” She replied harshly, making a few tears roll down your face.

“I didn’t fucking cheat on you Leah.”

You wiped your eyes before continuing.

“Fuck I really didn’t want you to find out this way-”

Leah interrupts you. “Oh so you did cheat on me, great.”

You groaned again, “Leah let me finish.”

“Yes the woman in that photo is Darcy, and yes those messages do sound bad, but I promise it’s not what it looks like. Darcy is an event planner, I hired her to help with something.” You explained calmly with a few sniffles. You got your phone out and clicked on your messages with Darcy before handing it to Leah.

“Read all of the messages.” You whispered.

While Leah read through all of the messages more tears began to roll down your face as you thought about how your whole romantic plan was ruined. You had wanted to bring her to the restaurant where you had your first date together, have the whole place booked out and filled with pictures and memories of you both.

After a few minutes of silence Leah talks. “Y/N…oh I’m so sorry.” She whispered, she tried to pull you in for a hug but you shook your head and snatched your phone out of her hands before grabbing your car keys and storming off.

“Y/N wait!”

———

You drove and drove and drove for two hours, trying to calm down after that whole situation.

As you parked up somewhere you finally looked at your phone and saw 50 missed calls from Leah and numerous texts from her.

My Le 💕

Baby I’m so sorry

Please come home I love you so much

Where are you?

Y/N I’m really really worried please just let me know where you are

I love you so much baby girl

Please just let me know you’re safe

I wanna marry you too, please Y/N can you come home?

I didn’t mean any of it

Please come home

You sighed before you started the car again, deciding that you were calm enough to go home again without crying.

As you pulled into the driveway of your shared home with Leah the front door swung open and a crying Leah ran to your car. You opened your door and got out in time for her to tackle you in a big hug.

“Don’t do that ever again. God, are you okay?” Leah cried into your neck. You closed your eyes and let yourself relax into the hug.

As upset as you were, you could never stay angry at Leah.

“Physically I’m fine. Emotionally…not so fine.” You whispered, making Leah kiss your cheek before pulling away.

She pulled you into the house and dragged you to the sofa where she was previously shouting at you two hours ago.

“I’m so fucking sorry Y/N. So sorry.”

Leah took your hands and you let her, which made her smile a little bit before she went back to serious.

“I just saw those messages and I was so confused and hurt and then when I saw that photo I exploded. I should’ve let you talk and I’m so sorry. I love you so much.” She rambled, sounding more and more like she was going to cry the longer she went on.

You look down at both of your hands. “Love you too.” You whispered.

“Yeah? Still?” Leah whispered back, squeezing your hands a little.

“Always. You were fucking stupid and you should’ve talked to me the minute you saw those messages and let me explain but I will still always love you. You’re my Le, that’s for life babe. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” You replied, feeling less sad. You smiled a little at her as she giggles at your last sentence.

“Would you still be interested in marrying me?”

“Would you still be interested in me asking you to marry me?”

Leah smiles lovingly with tears in her eyes as she nods.

You tightened your grip on her hands and sat up properly. “Okay, well I don’t have a ring yet but here we go. Leah Williamson, will you marry me?” You asked in a shaky voice.

“Yes!”

[storiesfromafan]

Benny x Reader

A/N: first off, want to say this is my first time not only writing a Benny fic, but also writing something different to my usual stuff. So please be kind, as I am terrified to post this haha.

I have been thinking about this idea, and possible series, for over a week. So I finally bit the bullet and wrote out the first part. It's more of a set up for the reader, as I want to make this a series. As well, I left out places and such, but tried to do it in away that its not bad. Only because I'm from Australia and don't really know much with America, only what I've seen in movies and TV shows.

If it is not really liked, I will take it down. But if anyone is interested, I am happy to keep going. I have two more parts kind of planned out. But there is a few idea's I'm not 100% sure of. So if anyone want to talk Benny and these ideas, please message me.

Alright, I guess on to the story then...

“Tell me about the first time you met Benny?” Danny asked moving his microphone towards you.

You were sitting on your couch, lit smoke in hand. “Honestly, the first time I saw Benny, that was something. He saw me more then I really saw him”.

“What did he say to you? Or what did you say to him?” Danny asked adjusting the recorder.

You chuckled. “We never said anything to each other, well I said something but it wasn’t to him. You see I’d just gotten back from living with my Aunt for over three years. I’d gone to live with her when I was nineteen, prior to that for the last ten years the woman had been on my dads case. She believed a man couldn’t raise a girl. My old man wouldn’t listen to her. So I grew up a tomboy, eventually he entertained her request”.

You took a drag from the cigarette between your fingers, before releasing the smoke. “I can tell you living with that woman was torture. Along with her daughter, who had just gotten engaged when I arrived. They both took to teaching what is expected of a lady, how to dress, walk and talk. The only way I survived it was when I made friends with some locals there that raced motorcycles. When my Aunt found out, she flipped out, sent me back after I wouldn’t change my ways...”

~~~

How you managed to pack up three years in two large suitcases surprised you. But here they were, back in your old room on your families farm. The room looked just as you had left it, only a tad dusty from half assed cleaning courtesy of your dad and brother. Looking around brought back memories. Your best friend pushed past you and took a seat on your bed.

“Can see the males of the house don’t know how to clean properly” she commented running her hand over your bedding.

“Unfortunately not. If they did, along with being able to cook, then women would not be required” you laughed lifting and bringing a suitcase over, before dropping it on the bed.

“Agreed" she laughed with you.

You began to unpack the suitcase, which had mostly shoes, tops, bottoms, personal items. Once that one was done you removed it from its place before replacing it with the second suitcase. This one had a few more tops and bottoms, but mostly your dresses.

“Lilly, do you mind getting the dresses out and I will hang them up?” You asked her as you put away the last of your tops and bottoms.

“Sure” was her response before taking out the first dress and handing it out to you.

You thanked her while taking the garment from her hands, putting it on a hanger and then placing it in your closet. While doing this together Lilly filled you in on the town gossip, along with that of people you had gone to school with.

“You remember Anne, right?” – You nodded your head – “she has turned into a real Miss Prim and Proper! No doubt it’s her mummy’s doing, dolling up her daughter in hopes for her to catch a big fish!”

You laughed. “Really? You believe her mum would do that?”

Lilly gave you a pointed look. “Just about every girls mum wants her daughter to land the perfect catch. They practically raise girls to be perfect house wives. My mum done it with me, it’s only half stuck” she laughed pulling out another dress.

You felt a pain in your heart at your friends words, for you didn’t have the luxury of growing up with a mum. You only knew your mum till you were eight, before she died. You love your dad but you missed your mum, and all the stuff you missed out on learning from her. Thankfully Lilly’s mum was a great second mum, not to mention your Aunt when she would come and visit would also give you a little of what you missed out on.

Lilly sighed holding your dress to her body, “I’m so jealous of all the lovely dresses you have”.

You smiled softly. “They are nice, but not ideal for a farm”.

“Well of course not! But when we go to town or parties, they will be perfect! Maybe I could borrow one or two sometime, specially when I have a hot date” Lilly asked leaning toward you batting her eyelashes.

You laughed taking the dress. “Sure, but make sure they are cleaned before returning them. Don’t want any suspicious stains on them”.

She gave you a disgusted look retrieving another dress. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m a lady” Lilly proclaimed sweetly.

You laughed taking the dress from her hands, while she gave you an offender look before she in turn laughed, not hurt by anything you said or done. That was your friendship, completely open and honest. Since you were both children you got on like a house on fire. You told each other everything and not once judged each other. Lilly was the sister you never had.

Once you had finished unpacking that was when you heard the revs of a motorcycle. You looked to Lilly, just as she looked to you. Without saying anything the both of you left your room and headed outside, hearing the revs again you figured it was coming from the old barn away from the house. Both giggling at the intrigue, you both headed for the barn. You were the one to put your weight into opening one of the barn doors, wiping your hands on your jeans walking into the space, Lilly right behind you.

Before you was your older brother, Andy with a racing bike. He looked up when realizing he wasn’t alone, wiping his hand on an old rag. Once his eyes landed on you did he smile brightly before pocketing the rag and coming over to engulf you in a big hug, which lifted you off the ground.

You laughed. “What a great welcome home”.

Andy laughed swinging you around. “Welcome home kid. I’ve missed you!”

You hit his shoulder telling him to put you down, which he did reluctantly. “You saw me a few months ago”.

“Still missed you!” He laughed.

You shook your head at your older brother, before eyes going back to the racer. “Project of yours?” You asked as you walked toward the bike.

Both Andy and Lilly followed you. Andy took the place he had originally been when you entered the barn, while you moved to the other side of the bike, Lilly chose to stand back. You looked over the bike, admiring it’s beauty. Motorcycles was the one thing you and your brother had in common. It was a great way to bond together when you were a teenager.

“When did you start racing?” You asked running a hand over the bikes seat. “Does dad know?”

Andy rolled his eyes. “Yeah he knows. I’ve been racing on and off for seven or so months”.

“He has ever since joining the Vandals” added Lilly.

You looked to your friend before back to your brother with a raised eyebrow. “Really? The Vandals huh? When were you going to tell me, hmm?”

Picking up a tool, Andy went back to adjusting something on the bike that you couldn’t see while shrugging his shoulders. “Does it matter?”

“You usually tell me these things Andy, I feel hurt you didn’t mention it” you said with a touch of sadness. “And dads fine with it?”

He laughed. “Of course, he’s fine with it. Since he knows most of the guys in the club”.

You nodded. “Alright.”.

“Don’t worry (Y/N), Uncle Johnny keeps an eye out for his boys” Lilly spoke up, knowing you worried about your brother.

Yes, you recall Lilly mentioning her Uncle Johnny, and that you had met him a few times when he had stopped off at Lilly’s house, was the leader of The Vandals. He seemed like a nice man, always looking out for his family. You also recalled her mentioning the club, but you hadn’t been around when it turned into a riding club, just when it was in the early stages of a racing club.

After that you and Lilly chatted with Andy while he worked on the bike. The atmosphere had returned to a happy and fun one. You learnt about what had been going on with Andy and the farm, along with your dad, who you still hadn’t seen yet. You couldn’t wait to see your old man, you had seen him a few months back when you saw Andy, but you missed the time with him. You had missed both men in your life. But now you were back where you belonged.

“There” sighed Andy dropping the tool in his hand and turning the bike off, “I think that will do for now. Just have to test her”.

“Her?” Both you and Lilly questioned looking at Andy.

“Yeah, her” he replied moving to kick up the bikes kickstand and holding the bike up. “It’s been nothing but temperamental and trouble, just like a female”. His tone was teasing, telling you he was joking around.

“Sounds more like a male” retorted Lilly with a laugh.

Andy shot her a dark look before laughing himself. You shook your head laughing at the two of them. Eventually he admitted defeat when he and Lilly went back and forth a bit more.

Andy began to move the bike around and then out the barn door, both you and Lilly following behind him. Out in the sunlight you can see the bike better, watching as Andy gave it another look over. You stepped up to him and watch him. Once he was happy with the bike, Andy was about to get on when you stopped him.

“Could I give it ago?” You asked softly. You’d ridden bikes before when you were a teen. Plus when you were living with your Aunt, which may or may not have upset her.

He looked at you unsure. “I don’t know kid. She hasn’t gotten all the kinks worked out of her. I still have this issue with her taking off when you go up in gears, she just accelerates and can be hard to handle”.

You nodded but smiled. “I promise to be careful and not go too fast. Please, can I?” You gave him the biggest puppy dog eyes you could.

Andy wasn’t sure if he should let you, but Lilly came to your defense. “Come on Andy, you know she will be careful. It’s just a few laps, it won’t hurt”.

Reluctantly he agreed and you shot Lilly a big smile, which she returned. So with his consent, you grasped the handle before moving to swing your leg over the bike, and sat down taking hold of the other handle. Andy stepped up and walked you through starting her up, you knew what to do but let him instruct you. He went over everything; front brake lever, throttle, clutch lever, gearshift lever and rear brake pedal. With his instructions he stepped back from you and let you go.

You started out slow, going around in circles before both your brother and friend. Lilly was cheering you on, which made you laugh. Gradually you picked up the speed and at Andy’s words, you did wider laps.

“You look so cool!” Called Lilly. Which you rolled your eyes at.

“Alright kid” Andy called. “Why don’t you take her back up behind the barn, then down toward the house and then turn right to take the long way back to the barn, get her speed up a bit more”.

You nodded giving him a solute, which made Lilly laugh and your brother call out for you to keep your hands on the handlebars. You did as he instructed before turning around and riding up behind the barn. As you looped back around you revved up the bike, and as you straightened up and headed for the house, you shifted the gears. Unfortunately the little issue your brother warned you about decided to come forth as you gained speed. The bike jerked with the acceleration, you held onto the handlebars tightly doing everything to keep the bike in check.

Andy noticed the change in your body and figured out what had happened, panic setting in he began calling out to you. He couldn’t do much more than that. He prayed you could handle the bike, and didn’t want to think of what could happen to you.

All the while before you had gotten on the bike, none of you were aware that your dad had returned home. Along with him were two men from The Vandals, the older male had dark hair while the younger dirty blonde hair, with stubble to match. They were discussing some business before heading around to the back of the house, when they all caught the sounds of a bike.

“Take it Andy’s working on his racer” the older male commented to your dad.

He laughed. “Yeah, the boys determined to smoke the competition Johnny”.

Johnny laughed. “He’s a good kid and rider, no doubt he will beat them”.

The Three started to make their way around to behind the house. They all looked up to the barn to see the bike take off up behind the old building. Your dad noticed two figures standing by the barn, one looked to be Andy, which confused the man. He wondered who was on the bike then. That was when the bike came back into view, heading towards the house. The shouting from the barn caught everyone’s attention, worry setting into your dad.

You had been so focused on staying in control of the bike you hadn’t noticed the three figures walking into your path until last minute. Upon seeing them you quickly dropped the gears on the bike before hitting the back brakes. With the light weight of the bike you managed to turn it right, planting your right foot to the ground and pulling off a slide stop. Dirt kicked up at your manoeuvre, you sat there a little stunned as the bike idled away.

You blinked a few times before turning to look at the males before you. But mostly to your dad, who looked just as stunned as you.

“Ah, hi dad” you said slowly. “Didn’t know you were home”.

He looked at you, to the bike you sat on and then back to you. “What are you doing?! You shouldn’t be riding that!”

You flinched at his slightly raised voice. “I was testing the bike for Andy...”

He shook his head. “Did he tell you about the issue it has with acceleration?” – You nodded – “and he still let you ride it!?”

“Well I promised to be careful” you replied.

Your old man shook his head. “You shouldn’t haven’t gotten on it (Y/N), what if you had crashed! Turn it off and get off it, now!”

“But I didn’t crash, I think I handled her pretty well” you defended as you turned off the bike before getting off it.

By this time both Andy and Lilly had jogged down to the scene. Your dad turned and began to have words with your brother, while he took the bike from you.

“Seriously Andy, I thought you’d know better than to let anyone on that bike before getting it sorted out” he said with a deep sigh.

Andy looked down while apologizing.

“It’s not all his fault, I wanted to ride it” you came to your brothers defense.

“Yes, well I’m disappointed in both of you. What if something had happened to you? Your brother would have to live with that” he guilt tripped you.

“I am sorry dad. But I kinda knew what I was doing...” you said softly not looking at the man before you.

That was when you noticed the other two on lookers. Suddenly you felt embarrassed that both of them were witnessing you and your brother getting a scolding.

While from the time you had stopped and until you finally noticed them, the younger of the two males had been looking at you. He was surprised when you had slid stopped the bike you were on. It had been like an Angel had slid before him. He was impressed by how you had not only handled the bike, but also your dad. But found you cute when you got embarrassed by him and Johnny. He could tell there was more to you, and it was fascinating.

Before you could really take in the two Vandals, your dad sighed once more. “Andy, take the bike back to the barn. (Y/N), go back into the house with Lilly”.

Lilly walked up to you and linked arms with you and began to pull you to the house, reluctantly you let her do so. All the while Lilly softly comment on the events. But before disappearing into the house, you watched your brother push his bike back up to the barn, then you looked to your dad and the older male watching your brother. Looking to the younger Vandal you saw him looking at you, and not to were the other two beside him was looking. But then Lilly pulled you into the house, severing eye contact to the young Vandal.

“What was that Fred?” Johnny finally questioned.

Your dad sighed. “That was my daughter. She got back today from her Aunts”.

Johnny whistled. “Might have your hands full with that one. But I will admit, that stop was impressive”.

Fred shook his head. “Don’t let her hear that. Don’t want to encourage her” he laughed darkly. “Come on, the sheds this way”.

Your dad started to walk again, while the other males followed. Johnny continued to ask about you, which your dad filled in. He said how he’d lost your mum when you were eight. How he did his best to raise you, all the while his sister-in-law kept hassling him about letting her take you in and raise you.

“The old battle-axe didn’t think I could raise a girl” Fred said with a sigh. “She was kinda right. I raised a tomboy”.

Johnny laughed while the other male smiled. “Nothin’ wrong with that” comment Johnny.

“I agree” said Fred, “but (Y/N) missed out on a lot not having a mum around. Thankfully Lilly's mum was there when it came to female things”.

Johnny nodded before following Fred into the shed. The younger male decided to wait outside, which was fine with the pair. Walking over to a fence before the shed, the young male lent back on the post, retrieving a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket. Taking out a cigarette, he pocketed the packet and pulled out his lighter. With the cigarette between his lips he sparked the lighter and lit it. Taking the first drag he put away the lighter, eyes looking back at your house as he released the smoke into the air.

Honestly, he can say he had never seen a female ride a bike before. Usually the females that were around The Vandals were always on the back of one. So seeing you handle that bike like you had was not only impressive but also a turn on. He hoped to cross paths with you again sometime soon.

Johnny came out of the shed with Fred. “Come on Benny, were done here”.

Moving from the fence post, Benny followed both men back to the front of the house and where their bikes were. Once on their bikes, they both started them up. They sat there for a few minutes, which allowed Benny a few more drags from his smoke before tossing it off to the side. He and Johnny began to move their bikes back to turn around, when Benny got a glance of both you and Lilly by the window. With a small smile, they both took off, heading back into town and to the bar.

~~~

“As I said, it was something. Me embarrassed by my old man having words with me. I didn’t really take Benny in at the time” you stated putting out your cigarette.

“You said Benny noticed you more?” Danny asked checking his recorder.

“Yeah, he told me so later on. He’d call me his Angel on wheels” you laughed.

“So the next time you saw Benny, you finally spoke to each other?”

You laughed more at his words. “Unfortunately, no. We might have if the time was right. But that second time I saw Benny, I really saw him...”

A/N: please don't hate me for this lol. I am also sorry for the use of (Y/N).

[ma1dita]

Hiii. Can I get one ticket for "and they were brommates". Starring Remus Lupin with a popcorn 🍿 and a chocolate 🍫 please?

hungry like the wolf

[STARRING: REMUS LUPIN x reader ; “Just forget you saw this happen.” “Really? Now? God, you have terrible timing.”  wc: 1.5k warnings: none. remus is a weirdo just as god intended. no plot. he’s also a panty sniffer. kind of a crackfic i wont lie… muggle!reader; title like the duran duran song]

monster mash-terlist

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You’re convinced your new roommate hates you. 

Honestly, it was just your luck that your apartment resident portal matched you with a rando that won’t tell you any details about his home life, the fancy boarding school he went to, or anything he does for work (he’s in law enforcement, he says—though you’ve thrown his worn laundry in the dryer for him before with no evidence of a uniform and he’s always been pretty frugal… maybe he’s a clerk?).

Totally not suspicious at all.

But rent is fucking expensive these days for you to not have a roommate, and he seems nice enough, for now. Remus plays Bowie on his record player in the evenings at respectable volumes, washes the dishes since you hate doing them and always leaves chocolate for you with little notes if he’s going out to see his mother who gets sick a lot.

Plus, he’s pretty handy around the apartment—so much so that a single woman like you can’t complain—he reaches for things on high shelves, carries all your groceries in from the car, and minds his business for the most part until his friends come over—which makes the million dollar question: why doesn’t he live with them? The boys come over and knock down your door, then Sirius and James always drag you out for a pint  instead of leaving you to work on your thesis while the other rat-faced one eats all your snacks and… Remus just sits there with his nose scrunched up not saying anything, always on edge. He just sits uncomfortably at the opposite end of the room all bunched up like he’s ready to run at any given moment.

Maybe he tolerates you at best, a few nods and soft ‘Hello’s are all you get throughout the week. Or maybe you have bad breath? Is that why in the half year you two have lived together you haven’t been together for more than 10 minutes?

What’s worse is that he’s painfully attractive. Like rugged, in a sexy, 2000s male lead in a rom-com sort of way, his thick brows always furrowed and an expression that makes you think that he has something to get off his chest, but he never says more than a handful of words. In short, the only possible reason for your roommate avoiding you is that Remus Lupin hates you with his entire being.

It has to be.

You’re convinced of the fact on a particular Friday night as you hop around the apartment with one boot on, your belt unbuckled, and hair still sopping wet. It’s a rare occasion for you to go out with your own friends and not hole yourself up at home, but the cabin fever is starting to make you itch. Remus has been watching your figure bob around your shared place, eyes bouncing back and forth like a ping pong ball. His scarred hands are gripping his mug tightly as he takes a large sip of tea, terrible posture evident in the way he’s draped over the settee.

“M’going out tonight,” you muse, smiling at him as you walk down the hallway, peeking at your reflection in the bathroom mirror before turning to him. Remus nods politely, “Right. That’s good.” You don’t think you’ve heard him say more than a sentence and so you shrug, leaning against the doorway, “You got plans tonight?”

“Staying in. Feeling a bit under the weather,” he gulps. Remus is tucked under the periwinkle throw blanket you got from TK Maxx for the sofa you both found on Facebook marketplace. He looks cozy, snuggling into the fleece and watching you brush your hair with his tired eyes.

“Aw, Remus. You gonna be alright?”

He sniffs, his face making that pinchy expression again as you come near, “S’all good. You should get going, don’t wanna be late for your…thing.” He doesn’t mean to be rude, but you’re too overwhelming the way you are, your scent permeating through the air even from his spot on the couch and it’s taking all of his willpower to tone down his furry little problem that begs for a taste. He looks away, physically biting his tongue as a reminder.

Now your face scrunches at his reaction, not understanding why he’s so detached from your niceties. Spinning around until your eyes flicker to the mirror and your form, you close the bathroom door gently, before inspecting yourself meticulously. Your outfit is new, and you’ve just sprayed on your favorite perfume earlier… maybe….

You raise an armpit and take a sniff.

Nope. 

What the fuck is this guy’s problem?

After a small pep talk, you swing the door open and step out. Surely, he’ll tell you what’s wrong if you ask him upfront. Sure, it might be ill-timed to get into a conversation that might make or break your living arrangement right before you go out to the club with your friends, but as you’re pacing down the hall you think there is no better time to do it. It would eat at you all night and ruin your fun, after all.

The living room is empty now, blanket folded over and draped on the ottoman and you swivel towards the other end of the hall, “Remus?” you call out meekly. So much for confidence. He’s probably went to bed, or again he just hates you. 

There’s a slight chill when you stick your hand out the window, so you make your way over to the laundry room where you left your leather jacket last, and when you go to flick the light on—-

There stands your lovely roommate, sniffing a black polka-dotted pair of your panties.

“WHATTHEFUCK?” “MERLIN!”

You’re pointing at each other, mouths gaping in shock as he backs towards the washing machine as he chokes on his spit, face as red as a tomato, “I can explain!’

“Oh you better! I….” you blurt, scanning the room for a weapon and swinging the bottle of detergent at his head, “Talk, freak!”

“I thought you LEFT ALREADY!”

The look on your face is more mortified than he thought it would be but how does he explain that every inch of this place smells of you? Your pheromones reek from your pores like a sultry perfume and he can’t get enough, unconsciously walking closer like a cartoon character hypnotized by the smell of pie. Stumbling over a discarded piece of clothing, he staggers back as you get in his face and whack him in the chest, once with your hand and then twice with your jacket you were looking for.

“You—fucking—weirdo!”

Remus flinches, raising his arms against your attack, “Godric, just forget you saw this happen, please—OW!” Eyes fixed in a glare, you stand in front of him with a finger prodding at his chest, “Give that back!”

“They’re clean!”

Your hands wrench the cotton out of his hands and hold them close to your chest, “They’re NOT! Lie to me again and I swear I’ll call the police!” The sandy-haired man throws his head back seemingly in laughter and you purse your lips, realizing that he is the police, in some sorts. Unless that’s a lie too.

“I can’t believe this is happening to me,” Remus grumbles as he takes a deep breath, “Let me explain, I… I can’t help it. You smell too good.”

What the fuck.

From the way your eye is twitching and how your chest is heaving as you clutch your panties, he knows it’s not a good enough response but fuck there’s a lot on the line here, and he doesn’t know where to start, “I…fucking hell, I’m a werewolf, okay?”

“Really? Now? God, you have terrible timing.” 

Remus blinks slowly, and you laugh at him, jaw still tense but at least you’re laughing at him, “I mean really, you have to come up with better excuses—I kinda had a hunch after our 3rd full moon and you left to go see your mom. Is she even really sick? You’ve giving the woman bad karma.”

He shakes his head, jaw gaping at how nonchalantly a muggle is taking this news. Shouldn’t you be running away in fear by now? Clearing his throat, “Um, yeah. So your pheromones,” he sniffs, “smell really, really good to me. Like a seven layer chocolate cake. I think our cycles are matched up.”

Is that his idea of a joke?

At least he doesn’t hate you, you reason, slowly closing the door to the laundry room behind you with a quirk in your lip, “I thought I smelled bad or something, with the way you look at me.”

“I think my face just looks like this. M’sorry. You’re not scared?”

He’s closer to you now, arms circling your frame like a predator on the prowl, waiting for you to make a move. But you step closer to him, baring your neck and giving him permission to eat you up if he wishes. Licking your lips, you whisper, “James almost blew up my cellphone with his wand last week when I tried to show him a Youtube video. You’re all weird ones, aren’t you?”

“That okay?” 

The silence in the small room feels reverent now, his fingers pressing against your wrists as he holds them at your waist—voice so low it makes you shiver.

“I didn't say it was a bad thing.”

Hopefully he can think of a way to make it up to you. But the way you let him graze his nose up your arm and back you against the door as he takes a big, deep inhale….is a good start.

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ma1dita's monster mash is closed for requests but ongoing for the rest of october!

[chaysreality222]

ཐིཋྀ ྀ࿔ ⋆｡ °✩

ཐིཋྀ ྀ 𝓘 𝓐𝐋𝓜𝓞𝐒𝐓 𝓕𝐔𝐋𝐋𝓨 𝐒𝐇𝓘𝐅𝓣𝐄𝓓 𝓣𝐎 𝐌𝓨 𝐇𝓞𝐆𝐖𝓐𝐑𝓣𝐒 𝓓𝐑 ཐིཋྀ ྀ

hey lovelies! ᥫ᭡ i hope you're safe and well ˚.⁺⊹ yess! i almost fully shifted to my hogwarts dr last night !! i'm so excited to share this with you all :) my manifestations have just been so on point and effortless, i swear! especially, for how i want my shifting journey to go. i want to share that "manifestation routine" with you guys as well, but in a next post- this one is a bit rushed bc i had a long dayy <3 i hope this motivates all of you from master shifter to master shifter ;)

to get things started, i wasn't planning to shift last night or technically the very, early morning. i had woken up from a bad dream and needed some time to calm down before i went back to sleep. it had been around 5 am on Aug 19, 2024 that i had put on this subliminal (i honestly love this sub !! it's become one of my favorites and something i may have to live by as i continue with my shifting journey) and fell back asleep!

i had fallen into a vivid, lucid dream where i had been at the back seat of a car that was parked at a beach. i got out and was looking around to see that it appeared to be sunset. my family was there as well! but they had split up. my mom and my sister went to put their feet in the water, but my dad and brother went to go walk some place down the beach. i had been left all to myself.

i decided to go down the sandy hill to the beach, in which i saw that there was little puddles of water caused from it being high-tide and then becoming low-tide. all i did was think about shifting and making a portal since i had been lucid. there was also no one near to stop or hinder me from making a portal, so i took the chance.

i thought about my dr and focused on making a portal to that dr. i saw one of the puddles and i made sure to set my intention that it would take me to my hogwarts dr. i then put my hand through the puddle and my body followed with it. it was like reaching into a void and falling, like the scene in alice in wonderland! instead of falling fast, it felt as if i was floating through it. i genuinely believe i had gone and passed through the void state. because normally i would be scared of the pitch black but i wasn't, i was at peace. i was extremely aware of it all and where i wanted my consciousness to go!

then, i had felt my surroundings change and i was waking up in my hogwarts dr! i felt my sheets and the room change, even the temperature. but i was so eager to open my eyes and opened them way too early instead of focusing on grounding myself mentally first. i saw a glimpse of my sheets, pillows, and bedroom wallpaper as i began to blink which spiked so much excitement. i was sitting up as i was opening my eyes and once i saw that glimpse, my heart literally leapt from excitement.

unfortunately, that was what had me shift back to my original reality. my excitement just sent a surge through my body and i just sorta felt my consciousness slipping back into the void. then ofc, i woke up back in my o.r.

i shifted but i wasn't there for long ughhh. but hey, i got there and i'll get there again! i got this, we all got this. i'm going to fully shift to this dr, and you guys are gonna be the first to know. trust ꣑ৎ as always, happy shifting!

xoxo, c!

[ericshoney]

Wild Card ~ Chris Sturniolo

When you first met the Sturniolo triplets, you felt an instant connection to all three of them, but mostly Chris. It wasn't romantic, it was strictly platonic, but you felt like Chris was your other half. He was goofy, funny, loud and lovable, much like yourself. Matt and Nick both loved to tease you about how alike you both were. It then sparked a long friendship.

So that leads to now. You and Chris had been left home alone, which wasn't a bad thing, but also not a good thing. Nick had a meeting for Spacecamp while Matt obviously drove him.

"I'm bored!" You whined, throwing your phone down that was still playing some TikTok you was watching.

"Sameeeeee." Chris whined.

"Do we still have those Nerf guns?" You suddenly asked.

"Yeah, they are in Nick's room, why?" Chris replied.

You flashed him a mischievous smile as you ran upstairs to Nick's room, finding the toy guns in the corner along with some ammo, before rushing back to Chris.

As you entered the living room, you saw the sofa had been moved, along with the pillows thrown everywhere. The kitchen table and chairs moved as well, creating some sort of battle ground.

"Yes! Great minds think alike!" You cheered, giving Chris a high-five.

"As soon as you mentioned Nerf guns, I realised your plan." He said with a smile.

You smiled and passed him a gun with some ammo. You both got into position before calling start.

The two of you got so wrapped up in your Nerf war, neither of you noticed Nick and Matt walking in, until they got hit with a foam dart.

"What the fuck!" Nick screamed.

"Oh hey guys!" Chris called, aiming for you again.

"What are you doing?" Matt questioned.

"What does it look like, Matt. A Nerf war!" You cheered, hitting Chris in the arm.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed.

"We left you both alone for an hour. One hour." Matt mumbled, shaking his head like a mother.

"I'm just glad they haven't broken anything." Nick said.

You giggled as Chris smirked at you. Both of you thought the same thing. Team up and shoot Nick and Matt. So that's what you did.

"Hey! Hey! Fuck off! We don't have anything!" Matt shouted, hiding behind the wall.

"Take us to Taco Bell!" Chris cried.

"If it will stop you shooting at us fine!" Nick shouted.

You both cheered, happy with getting your way as you rushed to the car.

"Fucking kids." Matt mumbled.

"Lowkey kinda fun though." Nick said, admiring the living room.

"Your paying at Taco Bell." Matt said as he went to the car.

"What!" Nick screamed.

As Nick got in the car, you and Chris were already shouting about Taco Bell and many more random things you could think of at once. Matt and Nick were still shocked that Chris found a friend so similar to himself, but honestly, they loved the dynamic and loved you too.

[little-sleepy-owl]

𝐀𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫,

who is a virgin and wants him to be their first. gender neutral, not so much explicit, but still smutty, as usual. Alastor is his own warning. kinda.

this one took me a while for several reasons. mostly because life is a bitch, but also because it was a really hard piece to write. I'm asexual myself and this is heavily self-indulgent. I wanted to maintain this treat of his, but still explore the sexual aspect of the relationship and the way asexual people might participate in it. so... yeah. proceed with understanding of this.

oh? so, you're just like him.

the only one who is not surprised whatsoever. isn't it supposed to be that way?

though there are a lot of vulgar people around. he might even praise you for keeping your chastity for so long.

but… becoming your first?

“Truly, my dear? That's quite the favor to ask a gentleman!”

it's less about being repulsed by the idea of intimacy (it doesn't sound bad if it's with you) and more about not wanting to step into a completely uncharted territory.

that's a first for him too, after all.

give him time. he needs to research some things before he's ready to try.

a week or two later he suddenly appears out of the shadows in your room with loud static noises, scaring the shit out of you, and announces that he would be very pleased to take the offer!!

hooray..? (please come out from under the bed, darling.)

now, just like Husk, he is an old-fashioned man. for him, this could only happen after a nice date.

he prefers a simple stroll around the city arm in arm, and having some coffee with you.

you can sense that he's a tad nervous, but also deeply thrilled. his posture is a little stiff while walking, ears, usually unmoving, twitch slightly here and there. it's cute.

you also notice he's more physically intimate with you today than usual. sitting a bit closer to you and leaning in subtly, so you can feel his warmth. gently covering your hand with his own. reaching to fix your hair, touch feather-like and making your heart pound in your chest.

none of it is sexual in any way, but the difference in his demeanor doesn't let you forget your plans for the night even for a moment.

judging by the sly curve of his smile and very attentive gaze, this is one hundred percent intentional.

inclined to take you into his own room after the date. if you're not against the living forest in the background.

(I suggest you accept the offer. fireflies would be a very romantic addition to your night.)

he needs to talk things out first.

“Let's discuss some rules of our… little arrangement.”

the rules are quite simple, although you might find them odd.

he will not take all his clothes off. especially not the lower part. pants stay on no matter what.

his hands, his mouth? all for your pleasure, darling. no limitations here.

and maybe, if you behave yourself and ask nicely… his shadows, too, can participate.

he merrily refuses to elaborate on what “behaving” means for him exactly. it's simply more fun that way, isn't it?

jacket tossed inside, sleeves rolled up. honestly speaking, it already feels too revealing. you don't think you ever saw so much of his arms or his neck before.

he is in a white shirt today, clean and pure, like the snow on the mountaintop. pristine even.

you never saw this, either.

he follows your gaze and his smile turns a little unsettling. you shiver, suddenly feeling like you are the one who's exposed here, even though you haven't taken off anything yet.

“No blood to stain it today, my dear,” he coos, adjusting the shirt slightly. oh, so usually he wears red for–

you don't want to continue this thought right now.

he's very insistent on undressing you by himself.

he uncovers you like you're his birthday cake in a cute present box. slowly removing every ribbon, carefully taking off the wrapping, anticipating what's underneath.

his hands are cold, but his eyes are heated, even somewhat hungry. and so, so intent.

he drinks on your every shiver, on the way your lips parts ever so slightly to let out a small gasp, on the goosebumps that run on your skin, when he leans in to nibble on your pretty neck, right beside the quicked throbbing of your pulse.

he hums an old tune, seemingly lost in exploration of your body and the way you respond to his touch.

he's eager to learn and very observant. he changes the pace the moment he notices you feeling uncomfortable. he discovers what makes you respond well and uses the knowledge without any shame.

but he also does very much love you telling him what you want him to do with that cute trembling voice of yours.

that's what eventually earns you the shadows taking part in the whole fun. if this is something you desire.

if you weren't satisfied before, you most certainly are now.

expect him to restrain you. he likes to see you squirming under his touch, unable to set the pace. he does everything deliberately slow, so you would beg him to give you more and do it faster.

he's very controlling in general, and although he takes into account what you want, he will also act on his own whim.

it honestly seems that he likes teasing and tormenting you to see your reactions much more than the physical aspect of it all.

humor him, and he will reward you accordingly.

but don't let him get too lost in it. he has a tendency to forget that you're not merely a toy to play with.

set some boundaries and you'll be alright.

once you both decide it's enough, he's a thoughtful gentleman again, bringing a glass of water for you, and helping you clean yourself up.

will let you rest your head on his lap, gentle light of fireflies surrounding you.

he sings a shooting melody, letting you peacefully drift off to sleep.

[with-my-murder-flute]

Cristabel and the proverbial sandwich

(Spoilers for Harrow and Nona the Ninth)

I have not known inner peace since I saw someone say, "But come on, does anyone ACTUALLY buy John's story about how the nun died?"

Because honestly, I'd just kind of gone, "Super random, very weird interaction, boy there sure are cult mindworms at play here," and moved on to the next page.

But as soon as I saw that question asked, the amount I did not buy that story hit me like a load of bricks, to the point I'm kind of amazed that I ever did believe it.

Two people. A locked door. A nuclear standoff. A close-range head injury.

On one side, a full-fledged Catholic nun—well done, that’s the classic—who's best friends with a staunchly atheist world-class scientist and believes, if we're to believe John, that Jesus's problem is that he didn't stick to office hours.

On the other, a woman described as, "A total delight. Effervescent. Kind to animals and children. A master of the sword. Did not have the intellect you’d ordinarily find in a sandwich or an orange, and was a sickening twerp into the bargain."

Oh, and in the middle, there's also a necromancer who wants to bring back his friends... minus any little details about things he they might have done wrong. He "knows where memory lives in the brain", and they "won't have any of it." And "guys as careful as me don't make mistakes," but then again, all that means is that if he kills someone, he did it on purpose.

C— talks her way into a locked room with John, who's on the phone threatening some world leaders with a nuke, expresses care and concern for him, and then... decides he needs more data on the soul? And kills herself to provide that for him?

I'll be honest, I just don't believe that John was an ordinary guy, totally normal, could be any of us, and he just got put in a really stressful situation and made some bad choices but who HASN'T done things they aren't proud of??? I reject that point of view completely. Like, Elon Musk in any given interaction probably is really stressed out and unhappy and having trouble responding in a way that's at all well-considered or emotionally mature, but that doesn't mean that Musk isn't also, at baseline, a deeply stupid, petty, immature, grandiose, entitled, egocentric person. No matter what situation you put him in, he's going to keep on being those things.

I think that John's initial idea was to put the entire human population of Earth, minus some necessary staff, into some giant cryonic freezers, and give the Earth some amount of time to rest and recover from the effects of human-caused pollution. A plan about which I will confess some hesitation myself; being told "just lie down in this coffin, bro, you'll only be a little dead, I'll totally bring you back to life* in a couple centuries (*98% effective!) " does not fill me with an enthusiasm to hop on board.

And then his project got cut. And he decided, "Well, if they won't agree, I can just make them agree." After all, all that end game needs is 10 billion frozen corpses hanging out in those tin cans, and a small team of staff left to keep the place running. How it gets there is something he can afford to be flexible about. If people won't climb in on their own, he can put them there.

So when C— or the nun tell him to stop focusing on revenge, to bend all his energies to saving the world, I think he thinks: Well, I am. He's gonna wash the earth clean at the end of this! He just needs to be able to set the dominoes in motion. He just needs to engineer a situation that will justify taking his nuke out of the vault and making the pieces fall.

A situation that would be sabotaged, ruined, if anyone made a true deep sincere good-faith effort to talk him out of Plan Nuke and called the legitimacy of this crisis into any sort of question. He needs to prevent that from happening.

Actually. Also. He needs one more thing than that.

He needs an excuse to use the nuke, but also, he's finishing his homework at the very last minute. He still hasn't mastered the soul. He does need a few more test subjects.

Maybe he let her in and thought: Two birds with one stone, eh?

[jeanboyjean]

RIDE WITH ME ft. shinichiro sano. nsfw. 

You go to a bar to meet up with one of your dating app prospects but he stands you up. You’re drinking your sorrows away when the guy next to you catches your eye. 

a/n: im so down bad u guys i just had to write something for him bc i NEED CONTENT. i truly believe he would worship the ground u walk on yes he would. i experimented a little with my writing style bc i felt like it fit better but lemme know what u think. it's my first time posting here for someone that's not jean so pls be nice <3

cw: fem! reader. mdni. nothing crazy just good old porn with a little plot! oral (f! receiving), protected sex. love at first sight coded. 

6.9k words

tag: @arlerts-angel @milky-aeons @livefromnc @kokonoiscoconut

song: for your love - måneskin

Your throat burned as you knocked back yet another shot, willing the alcohol to soothe the ache you felt in your chest. It was almost twenty minutes past the time you and your date had agreed to meet... but he was nowhere to be seen. Disappointment flooded your mind as you sat at the bar alone, your feet throbbing in the strappy heels you were wearing and your skin itching from the tight dress you had squeezed into just for tonight. All for some sucker who hadn’t bothered to show. 

Of course he hadn’t shown. 

The weariness of dating was starting to get to you - constant swiping, talking to someone new every week and getting your hopes up, only to have them crushed again when it turned out to be another dud. What was the point in trying anymore, when time after time you were endlessly disappointed. Honestly, you should have known better than to get your hopes up but the hopeless romantic in you longed for the companionship you had always dreamed about. How much longer would you have to do this dance before you found someone who would appreciate everything you had to give?

You looked down at your phone again with a huff, checking one last time for an update. To your surprise there was an unopened notification waiting for you. 

Hey, sorry I can’t make it anymore. Can we reschedule? 

You snorted in irritation, reading over the text again. Your vision flashed red with anger as you stared down at your screen with gritted teeth. Reschedule? Yeah, as if. If this loser wasn’t going to give you the benefit of letting you know before the time of your date then there was a fat chance you would give him another go. 

With a heavy heart, you sighed and slumped against the counter, waving at the bartender to signal for another drink when you caught his eye. As he took away your glass, you unlocked your phone again and opened a text chain with your friends thinking you might as well make the most of the night since you were all dressed up. Maybe they would be willing to come out and join you now that you were here and dateless with nothing else to do. 

While you sat there at the bar, on the opposite side of the room, Shinichiro made his entrance into the establishment. He casually scanned his surroundings as he pushed open the door, a small bell jingling as it closed behind him. Groups of patrons gathered at the scattered tables and a lively hum of voices rose over the low music. As always, he set his sight towards the bar and he stopped in his tracks when his eyes caught on you. 

Shinichiro frequented this bar regularly, often stopping by after work when he needed some time to cool down. It was the case tonight and he had been looking forward to getting a drink alone with his thoughts after a long day working on a new bike ... or at least, he had been planning to drink alone. Talking to a girl hadn’t been on the agenda at all, but from the moment he saw you at the bar, perched up on your stool, all of his thoughts went out the window. In an instant, he was captured by your pretty frame, the way your brows drew together as you frowned down at your phone and he studied your image, wondering what you would look like if he could put a smile on your face. 

WIth a newfound sense of purpose, he approached the bar swiftly and deliberately, only stopping when he was at a comfortable distance next to you. His heart raced as he contemplated his next move and he lifted a hand to wave at the bartender. Now that he was in your vicinity, the heady scent of your perfume trailed towards him, sweet and inviting.

His proximity created a slight shift in the atmosphere around you and your skin prickled and your body tensed on instinct as you became aware of his presence. 

“Hey,” you heard his deep voice say. “Whiskey, neat. Thanks.”

You looked up. You saw the tall man, leaning against the counter with the sleeves of his jacket rolled up past his forearms. Dark hair fell over his face as he spoke to the bartender, his eyes scanning the lines of bottles on the shelves in front of him. From the side, you couldn’t see the details of his face but he cut a nice figure as he towered next to you.

As if sensing your gaze, Shinichiro glanced over at you and your eyes locked for a moment before you quickly looked away shyly, a heat warming your cheeks. A breath caught in your throat and your mouth ran dry as your mind took quick notice of his appearance. Yikes… he’s good looking. 

You busied yourself with looking anywhere but at him, your eyes flitting around you in a hurry, your hands flying to your chest to fiddle with the top of your dress. Luckily, you were saved from your flustering by the bartender placing a fresh shot glass in front of you at just the right moment and you reached toward it gratefully, offering him a sheepish smile.

Shinichiro followed your movements closely with a steady gaze. For some reason he couldn’t explain and before he could register what he was doing, his hand was flying out to stop you before you could take the drink, his arm moving instinctively without him prompting it to.

Your head snapped toward him, your eyes wide with surprise. His expression was carefully blank, but something bright flickered behind the dark pools of his eyes. You narrowed your own back at him, a scowl twisting your lips. 

“Let me buy you a real drink,” Shinichiro began. The words tumbled out of him, clumsy and not as smooth as he hoped. He winced inwardly. What was he saying?

You continued to glare at him only adding to the nerves he felt as he attempted a cool smirk, hoping he appeared more collected than he felt. He accepted the glass being offered to him by the bartender, grateful for the small distraction and the amber liquid swirled as he brought it toward him. His other hand remained outstretched in front of you to block your movement as he held your gaze.   

Unimpressed, you huffed out a laugh as you gave him a proper once over. You were no stranger to cheesy one liners and guys trying to pick you up when you went out. His appearance was simple - dark jacket over a white t-shirt that was stained with spots of dark ink and light wash jeans. The dim lighting of the bar casted shadows across the planes of his face and his dark eyes gleamed at you. He wasn’t exactly striking, but he was handsome in a way that tugged at your chest and interest stirred in you, your body ever the traitor. 

“Does that normally work for you?” You asked coolly, your eyebrows raised in a disbelieving look.

Although you had tried to play it off, your survey of him hadn’t gone unnoticed by him and he smirked around his glass as he took a sip of his drink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Mmhmm.” In a swift motion, you swept your glass around his hand and lifted it to your lips, downing the liquid. You welcomed the burn, letting it warm the ice in your heart. 

He chuckled and took a seat on the stool next to you. Of course you wouldn’t be so easy. It was a good thing he always liked a challenge - if there was one thing he excelled at, it was going for what he wanted and never backing down.

You ignored his presence, turning away from him and scrolling on your phone again. Unluckily for you, all of your friends had replied to you with their apologies, already busy with their own plans. You sighed, resigning yourself to the fact that you would have to admit defeat and head home for the night empty handed. 

Shinichiro shifted in his seat next to you, clearing his throat lightly. His fingers tapped on the counter less than a foot from where your elbows pressed into the smooth surface. You peered in your peripheral vision at him and watched as his finger traced around the ring of condensation left on the surface by his glass. He nursed his drink slowly and stared blankly into the distance with an expression that was hard to read. Laughter swirled around you as the two of you sat solemnly, lost in your own thoughts.

“Long day?” You asked finally to break the silence. Curiosity would always get the better of you. 

Shinichiro’s head snapped toward you in surprise. While you had been mourning your lack of social life, he had been trying to think of what he could say next to get your attention. The last thing he had predicted was that you would initiate the conversation yourself.  

“It wasn’t too bad,” he replied. “You look like you’ve had better though.” 

You shrugged and tried to keep your expression in check. A short laugh huffed out of you in an attempt to mask your bitter words. “Yeah. I was supposed to be on a date. He stood me up though.” 

“Someone stood you up? Why would they ever do that?”

“I don’t know. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” 

He cocked his head to the side, appraising you up and down carefully. His eyes lingered on your bare thighs and your chest and his body subconsciously responded to the sight, his heart skipping a beat or two and his dick twitching in his pants. You were pretty, beautiful even, and he was only a man. 

“I would never leave you hanging. A girl like you? He must have been a schlub.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him again, studying his face. “Does that one work for you too?” 

A carefree laugh bubbled out of him as he shook his head, his hair falling to frame his face. “Not really. Not a lot works for me usually, to be honest.” 

His candour surprised you. His dark eyes bore into yours, earnest and a little shameless. He didn’t appear to care much about the way he came off to you and it made you want to lower your guards just a little.

“I’m Shinichiro,” he said, holding out his hand. His fingers were dirty, discoloured by the same dark smudges that painted his clothes. He noticed you staring and pulled back his hand, wiping it against his shirt. “Sorry, I just finished work. I promise I washed my hands, it’s just this stuff is hard to get off.” A flush graced his cheeks as his eyes darted to your face and away in embarrassment. “I own a motor shop and I’ve been fixing up a bike all day.” 

“Oh,” you hummed. You introduced yourself, telling him your name as you held out your hand. You were no stranger to getting your hands dirty yourself and you were polite, if nothing else. His eyes softened and after a slight pause he leaned forward to take it, squeezing it hard. Calluses lined his palms and your skin tingled from the roughness as you shook his hand. 

“So, Shinichiro… I told you my story. You tell me yours. What brings you here on this fine night?” 

He grinned at you, taking a sip of his drink. “Well, like I said. I just got off work. I come here to wind down sometimes, get a drink.” 

“On your own?” 

“My friends can get a bit rowdy. Sometimes I enjoy the peace and quiet of being alone.” 

You shifted in your seat, uncrossing then recrossing your legs. Your fingers played with the hem of your dress and pulled it down when it rode up your thigh as you changed positions. It was hard to miss the way his breath hitched and his eyes flickered as he followed your movements. “Do you want me to leave you alone then?”

Shinichiro shook his head, breaking out of his trance. “No, I think you’re cool. I want to get to know you more.” 

You laughed, the sound bubbling out of you and into his heart. “If I didn’t know any better I would think you’re hitting on me.” 

“Is it working?” His eyes twinkled with humour. He couldn’t help but feel hopeful and he tried to ignore the excitement building inside him, twisting his stomach with nerves.

“Maybe… You’ll have to wait and see.” 

He gestured toward your empty shot glass. “Do you want another?”

You considered it for a moment, letting yourself indulge in the possibility before you shook your head regretfully, heaving out a sigh. As nice as it was to talk to him, the disappointment of your date being a no show had already ruined your night. Had you been in a better mood, you would have loved to continue flirting with him. 

“No, I think I’ll go home. I might as well get changed into something comfortable and drown my sorrows in my own bed.” 

His heart sank a little at your words, disappointment creeping in. He had only just got here and you were already ready to go, right when he felt like he was getting somewhere. Unwilling to let you go too easily, he tried his hand at another play. “How are you getting home?” 

“I was going to call an uber.”

“Don’t waste your money. Let me take you home. My bike is parked out front, you can sit on the back.” 

You snorted, shaking your head. “Haven’t you been drinking? It’s fine, don’t worry about me.” 

“I’ve only had one,” he tried to reassure you, gesturing to his glass. “I’m fine, it takes more than a couple drinks for me to feel anything. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t feel up for it.” 

Maybe it was because you were a little tipsy but part of you wanted to say yes. He offered a hesitant smile as he looked down at you with an earnest expression and his invitation tempted you just a little. Thankfully to your benefit though, you had enough presence of mind to know better. He was just a stranger after all. A cute one, but a stranger nonetheless.

“I’m okay. Thanks for the offer, I appreciate it.” 

Shinichiro nodded, accepting your refusal with a heavy heart. It made sense; he couldn’t blame you really. If you were Emma, he would have expected her to do the same thing. Still, it didn’t make it sting any less as he nodded, lifting his glass toward you in acknowledgement as you gathered your things and turned to leave. 

Unable to contain himself, he chanced another look at you as you walked away. His eyes tracked the way you slinked away on your heels, your hips swaying with every step. As you opened the door and stepped outside, he turned back to the bar and heaved out a sigh.  

The bartender caught his eye with raised eyebrows and Shinichiro reluctantly pushed his glass forward to accept another drink. An uneasy feeling crept over him as he sat there, trying to process his encounter with you and dread flooded to form a pit in his stomach and his heart sank impossibly further when he realised he had made a dire mistake. 

Idiot. He had forgotten to ask you for your number. 

***

It had been two weeks since Shinichiro had met you. Two weeks, since he had last seen you. 

He had tried not to think about it too much. He knew it was silly of him to get so bothered by it. You were just a stranger really, you had barely shared more than a few minutes together... but there was just something about you that he couldn’t forget. Everyday, when he had a spare moment, he would flashback to his conversation with you and regret every decision he had ever made. He had kicked himself enough over the past few days for not getting your number or not insisting to buy you another drink. 

When he walked into the bar again on another Friday night, he wasn’t expecting to see you there at the counter. And yet there you were, in another short dress, the hem riding up your thighs, perched up on your stool. His brain short circuited slightly as he looked you up and down, his breath catching in his throat. As if in a trance, he began moving toward you like a moth would to a flame, weaving his way past tables until the bar came into full view.

All of a sudden he was stuttering to a stop in his tracks. Blood roared in his ears and his vision tunnelled as he took in the reality of the situation in front of him. You were here, yes, but not alone this time, instead clearly talking with a man next to you. Shinichiro watched with dread in his heart as you tipped your head back at something your companion said, your shoulders shaking with laughter as the man smiled smugly, his eyes raking over your body. Jealousy coursed through his veins at the sight. What could possibly be so funny? 

Shinichiro approached the bar slowly. His legs felt heavy with lead as the distance between the two of you lessened little by little. Part of him wanted to leave immediately, but another just wanted to see if you would acknowledge him if he stood within your reach. Would you even remember him? 

When he finally finished crossing the floor, he leaned against the counter behind you with his eyes fixed in front of him. He didn’t dare to spare you a glance.

Your body was stiff with irritation as you sat there on your stool. Your face ached from holding the smile on your face as laughter came out of you in forced bursts. To your right, your date sat facing you with a broad smile, completely oblivious to the discomfort you felt. You were decidedly not having a good time.

Despite your recent disappointment, you had tried to bounce back and had come out tonight on yet another date with yet another guy. Alas, it was to no avail. Although it had only been half an hour, you already knew it was going nowhere - there was no chemistry, his photos were definitely outdated and honestly the way he was looking at you gave you the creeps. Great, another dud. All throughout the date, your thoughts had kept drifting back to the last time you had been here and Shinichiro’s face flashed in your mind. If only your date had been someone like him. 

As you shifted in your seat to reach for your drink, you became aware of a person standing to your side. You turned to look over your shoulder and gasped as surprise overcame you when you saw who it was. The man was busy looking down at something on his phone and hadn't seemed to have noticed you next to him but you recognised the handsome face instantly. Speak of the devil, you thought to yourself. Without a second to waste, you pounced on the opportunity to ditch your date.

“Shinichiro!” 

For Shinichiro, the sound of his name coming from your voice was completely unexpected. He jolted in shock as he turned toward you with wide eyes. You were grinning broadly at him, your eyes sparkling in delight and warmth filled his body as a natural response. He was an honest man. He couldn't deny that the sight of your face did numbers on his heart.  

“Oh, hey!” He said, trying to recover, a smile playing on his lips. "Fancy seeing you here!" He glanced curiously over at the stranger next to you who in turn scowled back at him. 

“Shinichiro’s a good friend,” you said enthusiastically as you turned back to your date. “I haven’t seen him in a while. Is it okay if he joins us?” 

Your date frowned, his face twisting in distaste. If you had any feelings toward him you would have felt bad for the clear confusion you were causing him. “You want him to join our date?” 

“Yeah. We’re just hanging out anyway.”

He scoffed. “Hanging out? Are you serious? I didn’t come all this way and buy you a drink just to hang out.” 

Despite it probably being warranted, his attitude was not appreciated. You glared at the man, your eyes cold enough to turn him to ice. “Well, I want to talk to him. If you don’t like it you can leave.” 

“Is this for real?” The man looked at Shinichiro who shrugged, unable to contain the cheshire cat grin that stretched his lips. 

Your date huffed, grumbling to himself as his eyes flicked back and forth between you and Shinichiro. His cheeks reddened with frustration and his lips quivered in anger as he stood in a hurry and gathered his things. “You know what? Fuck this,” he snapped. “I’m gonna go. What a waste of time” 

You lifted your hand in a wave, smiling sweetly, his reaction not bothering you in the slightest. “Bye!” You called after him as he stomped away. 

Shinichiro waited for the man to leave, before taking his place next to you. Your eyes locked in a shared moment as you processed the turn of events and in an instant the two of you were bursting into laughter, your shoulders shaking as giggles tumbled out of you. 

“I was trying to find an excuse to get rid of him,” you sputtered, trying to contain your laughter. “Seems the universe sent you to me at just the right time.”

Shinichiro admired the way your face lit up in unabashed joy, the corners of your eyes crinkling as your mouth stretched wide in the prettiest smile he had ever seen. “The universe does work in interesting ways,” he snickered in response. For example, he thought to himself, the fact that he had been hoping to see you again and here you were in front of him, the second chance he had been praying for. 

You continued to smile up at him sweetly, looking up through your eyelashes as humour danced behind your eyes. Truthfully, you had been hoping to see him here too.

“So, are you going to buy me a drink, Shinichiro?” 

He raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. “Are you going to let me?” 

You crossed your arms in front of you. He tried not to pay attention to the way it brought his focus to your chest. You nodded toward your empty glass, a clear message in your gaze, and he leaned over the counter, waving at the bartender to get his attention. He pointed to your glass. 

“Can I get another one of whatever she had … and a beer for me, please.” 

You hummed in thought, cocking your head to the side. “Just a beer today? I remember you had something a bit stronger last time.” 

He grinned, pleased to know you had been paying attention. 

“I want to make sure I’m sober enough to take you home tonight.” 

He held his breath as he watched your reaction. You blinked at him in surprise, although there was no reason you should have been. He was sure he had been clear enough in his intentions the last time you had met. A flush warmed your cheeks as you tried to keep your composure but a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. Shinichiro grinned in satisfaction. Gotcha. 

Time passed quickly as the two of you conversed. The banter came easily, laughter flowing freely. You were funny, he realised, more than he thought … and beautiful, exactly his type. Multiple times throughout the night, he'd had to pause to remind himself to keep it together, lest he fall too hard too fast. You had only really just met and it was proving difficult to reign it in when you were hitting it off so smoothly like this. 

An hour later, you were still nursing the drink he had bought you, twisting it around in your hands as you smiled warmly at him. A small part of him hoped it was because you wanted to prolong the conversation for as long as possible. He would buy you another this time, if it meant you would stay to talk to him. The grip you had wrapped around his heart tightened as you gazed up at him through your eyelashes, your eyes twinkling in the low light.

“So when are you going to take me home, Shinichiro?” 

Your sweet voice tugged at his chest, your words catching him off guard. Your hand fell down to rest on his forearm and squeezed tight. Your playful look told him a clear message, and he received it wholeheartedly, instantly becoming putty in your hands.

“How about now?” He offered, holding out his hand. 

You giggled in response as you took it, clutching it tight. 

***

The ride to your place went by in a blur. His head was a mess as his bike rumbled beneath him, the engine roaring as he zipped down the road with you sitting behind him. All of his thoughts were consumed by the feeling of you pressed up against his back, your arms wound around his waist, gripping tight on his shirt as your bare thighs enveloped him. All of his energy was focused on staring straight ahead, ignoring the blood pumping in his veins to gather down between his legs.

It was a relief when he finally pulled onto your street. You helpfully tapped his shoulder and extended an arm to point in front of him at your house and he swiftly parked his bike before helping you off with an outstretched hand. He carefully lifted the helmet that he normally used for himself gently off your head. 

“How was that for your first ride?” He asked, shaking out his shoulders and breathing in the night air.

“Good!” You nodded enthusiastically and he chuckled, smoothing down the top of your hair. 

A wide grin stretched on your face as you blinked at him. Your cheeks flushed with excitement and your eyes sparkled with newfound energy. He couldn’t help but admire the way it lit up your face in a pretty glow and his hand fell down your hair to twist the ends around his finger. The night was quiet but electricity sparked between the two of you as you stood there in front of your door. 

“Do you wanna come in?” You asked the question he had been waiting for, your hands coming up to grip the front of his shirt. 

“I- I shouldn’t. We only just met.” 

“So? Isn't this why you chatted me up? Why you bought me a drink? Why you took me home?” 

“You’re drunk, more than me. I don’t want to take advantage of you.” 

“Oh, you’re so honourable,” you said with a voice all saccharine. “It’s okay, I’m more sober than you think. I’m offering now, Shinichiro. Take it or leave it.” 

His eyes locked onto yours and he nodded. Okay, was all he said before you were pulling him into your house and closing the door behind you.

In a quick motion, he had you pushed up against the door, pressing you back against it. His hands cupped your cheeks as your mouths met in a passionate kiss. Your lips were soft against his and time stopped as you moved together in a messy dance of give and take. Everything in his body honed in on the feeling of you, your mouth, your skin, and he deepened the kiss, desperate for more. Blood roared in his ears and his heart raced wildly, his body moving completely by instinct. A low moan slipped out of you when his tongue slid over yours and the sound landed straight between his legs where his dick was growing harder by the second.

“Where’s your bedroom?”

His voice was low and rough with arousal. You swallowed thickly, eyes half lidded as you blinked up at him. As if in a daze, you grabbed his hand and pulled him along as you hurried toward your open bedroom door. 

Once there, he pushed you down on your bed so you were lying on your back and climbed over you, caging you between his forearms. He towered over you as he bared his weight into them on either side of your head and his legs trapped you underneath him so you had nowhere to go. Silky dark hair fell down over his eyes as he dipped his head to capture your mouth again in an eager kiss, his soft lips moving fervently against your own.

Your legs wrapped around his hips and you squeezed tight, lifting your hips as you brought his bulging crotch close toward you. The stiff fabric of his jeans brushed against your aching body, your thin underwear already damp with your arousal, and you mewled, eyes rolling into the back of your head at the sparks of pleasure it gave you. He groaned into your mouth in return, his hips jerking into you, craving more friction. 

His mouth travelled down your body, sucking the soft skin behind your ear, noting the way your body responded to his touch. Your back arched when he trailed down your neck, lapping at your skin and there was a sharp intake of breath as he nipped lightly with his teeth. The fact that you were still wearing clothes grated on his nerves and he tugged at the hem of your dress in annoyance.

“Off,” he grunted out through gritted teeth. 

Your pupils dilated and your chest heaved as you did what he said. With shaking fingers, you reached behind you to unzip your dress and pulled it hastily down past your shoulders. You hadn’t bothered to wear a bra tonight and your upper body was now exposed to him in all its glory. 

His breath caught in his throat as he stared down at you, watching the way your chest rose and fell with your breathing. A hand came down to cup a breast and he revelled in the way you moaned his name as he rolled a hard nipple with his fingers. Not one to waste any time, he swooped down to latch onto the other with his mouth, licking at the stiff bud with his tongue and sucking into your soft skin. 

You moaned above him, keening as you lifted your hips up flush against his. Your hands gripped his shoulders, fingertips lightly clawing into his skin.

“Shin, please,” you breathed out. “I want you to touch me.” 

His eyes snapped up to your face, dark with lust. He released your tits as he rose back up to capture your mouth in another kiss. His hips rolled into yours, deliberate this time, and you arched into him, desperate and needy. 

“You want me to touch you, pretty girl?” His hips rocked again, grinding against your aching pussy. “I’m touching you already, aren’t I?”

You mewled under him, bucking into him to chase the sensation. Desire coursed through your veins as you blinked up at him through your haze. You were beginning to lose your grip on reality; everything in your body screamed at you with the need for more.

His eyes widened when he saw your hand slide down your legs in an attempt to try and relieve the throbbing between your thighs. In a swift motion, he was stilling your hand, gripping your wrist tight. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” He hissed.

“Please, Shin. I need more. I want to feel you inside me.”

His eyes narrowed, irises impossibly dark. He pushed back onto his knees, towering over you as he pulled your dress down your legs. Your arousal was on full display now, your damp underwear a clear show of your desire. A low chuckle rumbled from his throat and his fingers grazed the wet spot as he slid his hand over your crotch. 

You moaned helplessly and lifted your hips up as he removed your underwear. Despite it all, a small cloud of self consciousness hung over you as you lay there vulnerable and bare in front of him. It was easy to ignore though, when you saw the way his eyes flashed with desire as he looked down at you. His mouth hung open as he zoned in on your pussy, dripping wet and ready for him and he licked his lips as if getting ready to eat the best meal of his life.

“If you wanted me this badly, you should have said so. I would be happy to help.”

His fingers slid against your folds, gathering the wetness as he began putting light pressure on your sensitive clit. You jerked underneath him, your thighs subconsciously moving to close together but he trapped them open, pushing them apart with his arms. Heat began to build in your core, blooming to extend throughout your limbs. 

“You look so pretty like this, baby.” His fingers dipped down to your wet opening, catching at the entrance before sliding back up. “I bet you taste good. I need to know. Can I?”  

You were so light headed, dizzy with arousal that all you could do was nod. It was all he needed before he was leaning down, sliding back on the bed until his face was hovering between your legs. His hot breath fanned over your cunt and it clenched around nothing, already so sensitive in anticipation. He licked a stripe up your slit, lapping up your wetness before directing his attention to your clit. His lips wrapped around the sensitive bud, sucking as his tongue skimmed over the bundle of nerves and his fingers came back to play with your folds. By the time he finally slid one inside you, you were paralysed with pleasure, your eyelids fluttering shut as you whimpered his name. 

He sucked in a breath at the feeling of your warmth around him as you released a moan. He slowly began pumping his finger as he continued sucking at your clit, curling inside you to massage at the spongy walls. You squeezed around him in an effort to amplify the sensation and it sent blood rushing to the growing member between his legs. A wet spot was forming in his own underwear and he couldn’t help himself from grinding down into the mattress. 

Electricity raced through your nerves as he added another finger and your thighs began to tremble as you neared your orgasm. You gripped your bed sheets tight as he expertly stroked you in a perfect rhythm while his tongue flicked at your clit.

"I'm gonna cum!" You gasped as you teetered at the edge and he moaned into your pussy in response, so far gone just from giving you what you needed. His heavy lidded eyes flicked up to meet yours and the heady look on his flushed face was the final thing you saw before you were careening off the edge, the waves hitting you all at once.

You cried out as you came around him, jerking and thrashing underneath his weight.

“That’s it,” he praised as you pulsed around his fingers. “That’s it, pretty girl.”

He stroked your thigh up and down as you shook underneath him, mesmerised by the sight of your pussy clenching. His dick strained hard against his pants and he moved back up to kneel on the bed, unzipping his pants quickly and pulling down his underwear for some relief. His cock sprang out, thick and heavy in his hand and he tugged at it, the angry tip leaking with precum. With the small remaining self preservation he had, he reached into his pocket before removing his pants to find the spare condom in his wallet for situations like these. 

Even through your haze, your eyes widened at the sight. Your mouth salivated and heat began building in your core again as you watched, entranced by the way his hand slid over the tip, rolling the condom down over his length. You bit your lip as your pussy clenched in desire - you needed to feel every inch of him inside you.

He groaned as his heavy lidded eyes met yours. “You still want me inside you? You ready for this cock?”

You nodded fervently. “Please, Shin, I want it so bad.” 

“Come, ride me then.” 

He sat down on the bed, leaning back to rest against the pillows. You eagerly moved to straddle him, hovering over his hips and reached down to wrap your hand around his dick, grinning when you felt him in your grasp. Without a second to waste, you lined him up and slowly sank down, feeling him fill you up inch by inch. 

“Oh fuck, you feel so good,” Shinichiro hissed when you finally sat down flush against his hips. Your walls squeezed so tight around him and it took him all of the self control he had not to flip you over and fuck into you himself. 

His eyes rolled back in delight when you started moving, lifting your weight and sliding up and down his length. You leaned back with your hands finding purchase on his thighs and it made your back arch, your tits bouncing as you impaled yourself on his cock, finding the right angle where it hit you just where you needed it. He watched you move in awe, hands came up to pinch your nipples as you threw your head back, whining in pleasure. 

“Fuck! Keep going, you feel so good. I've been wanting to do this for weeks. It's all I've been thinking about,” He moaned, unable to control himself. It was all he could do to just lie there and let you use him however you wanted. He squeezed his eyes shut, focusing only on the sensation of your heat sucking him in as he fell deeper and deeper into the feeling of you. His head was so dizzy with lust - all he could think about was you, you, you. 

You continued to bounce in his lap, relishing in the stretch of his cock. His tip slid through your walls, hitting every nerve, and it sent electricity radiating throughout your body, almost too much to bear. The sound of your skin slapping together and the bed rocking filled the room as you deliriously rolled your hips in an effort to chase your high. 

Sensing that you were nearing your limit, he reached down with a hand to rub at your clit and your thighs trembled as you clenched even tighter around him, each stroke of him inside you bringing you closer and closer towards another orgasm. It only took you a few more seconds before you cried out, waves of pleasure coursing throughout your body. 

Your movements stuttered as you pulsed around him, clenching to build a pressure so tight in his balls he felt like could burst. Wanting to chase his own release, he planted his feet and thrusted up into you, his arms wrapping around you as you fell limp against his chest. His grunts filled the room as his hips snapped up to meet yours, fucking into you relentlessly. You whimpered, continuing to shudder from satisfaction and overstimulation as he slammed into you harder and faster.  

“Shit, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!” Shinichiro cried out, his brows furrowed, his teeth gritted together as he gave one final thrust, his hips driving in all the way. Curses fell from his lips as he spilled into the condom, cock twitching inside you while you milked him for every drop. Darkness fell over his vision as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he came so hard that he swore he blacked out.

A blanket of quiet settled over the room, the only sounds being your panting as the two of you lay there catching your breath. You slumped on top of his chest, sweaty skin sticking to his, and his heart beat wildly under your ear, matching the rhythm of your own. He gently smoothed down your hair, pulling it away from your face to tuck it behind your ear and you blinked at him with your lips lifted in a satisfied smile. He slowly lifted your hips with his hands and your eyes fluttered at the slide of his softening dick inside you and the emptiness left behind when he pulled out. He rolled off the condom, tying it before tossing it into your rubbish bin. 

Flushed and spent, you settled into his side, testing the waters as you wriggled in closer towards him. His arm tightened around your shoulders and he pulled you in, closing the space between your bodies, letting you wrap your limbs around him. Heat radiated between you as you leaned your head against his chest again and listened to the slowly steadying of his heart.  

“So, how was your first ride with me?” You teased with flushed cheeks and a dazed look. 

Shinichiro chuckled softly and brushed away the hair on your forehead. His friends had always made fun of him for being so weak with women, always falling hard and fast, regardless of the possibility of rejection. They were right sometimes, he did have a tendency of jumping right into the deep end. But this time, he would be damned if he let you slip out of his grasp. No... now that he'd had his first taste, there was no way in hell he was going to let you go. 

“If this is how good it was the first time, it better not be the last,” he replied simply, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

You let out a satisfied hum in response. A small smile crept onto your face as you lightly trickled a finger down his chest. You hoped it wouldn’t be the last as well. 

cuddling with a one night stand? that's crazy! but i know shin would. he's the type to move in after the second hookup. i said what i said!!

interactions/reblogs are always appreciated!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not getting my roommate a birthday gift and insulting them when they got mad about it?

I don’t really think I’m the asshole (or at least the only asshole) but it’s become such a Situation I need some outside input.

So I and my roommate Ollie (both 18, gender irrelevant) have been living together in a college dorm for a couple months now. We aren’t friends, but we’re friendly. We talk a little in passing but nothing more. We get along for the most part, but my main issue is that Ollie has so much stuff.

I’ve lived with it for months but it’s always a mild annoyance. There’s stuff on our bathroom counter, the kitchen counter, always dishes in the sink and their desk is always a mess. We have separate sides of the room and separate spaces for our food and dishes in the sink and for our shower stuff and bathroom stuff but it still drives me crazy because there’s always clutter around. I haven’t talked to them about it because I don’t want them to get mad at me for trying to micromanage them—I don’t know if they would’ve but now they definitely would.

Also, I think we have a pretty big gap in how much money we have. We both have a meal plan so we can eat at the cafeteria on campus but their part of the fridge is always overflowing. They have a ton of expensive and what look like kinda redundant products, like five bottles of perfume on their desk, and I even saw cotton candy grapes in the fridge?? I haven’t been to the store in a while but I don’t think those are cheap. There’s also a ton of Starbucks and takeout food in the trash too. I on the other hand have to save the money I have (a couple hundred) to put towards a summer class. Even if I wanted to get them a birthday gift, I think it would come down to that or, like, gas money to go home for a weekend

Ollie’s birthday was a little over a week ago. They spent the day out with their friends from what I could tell off social media and when they came back they had a few grocery bags and an Amazon box or two, and once they set them down they asked me what I’d gotten for them.

I asked what they were talking about, and they said for their birthday. I told them I didn’t get them anything and then they started mumbling about fake friends and how they were nothing but nice to me and I couldn’t even give them anything in return. I’m not great on social cues so they might have been joking or sarcastic here but I told them they were crazy if they thought I was gonna add to any of their piles of useless stuff around here and called them a hoarder (that may be too harsh but I mean, I saw a Wendy’s receipt from October on their desk last week. It’s February.) They got really pissed and started swearing at me and I forget most of what was said after that but it escalated, we ended up screaming, they left for the night, it was bad.

Since then their friend from high school, we’ll call her Ruby (21F I think) has been blowing up my phone. Telling me I have no right to talk to Ollie like that, that I’m a shitty friend and she ought to just block me (we aren’t friends so idk where this one came from), and told me that apparently Ollie’s mom was some kind of a reclusive hoarder and Ollie has been crying and worrying about becoming like her. I honestly don’t believe this last one because I met their mom when we moved in last September and she seemed like a completely nice person.

Ollie hasn’t been back here. I think they got their essentials while I was in class and is staying with Ruby now, she lives in a building just off campus. I reached out to make sure they were okay and, you know, alive, and they just said “don’t fucking text me I’m fine don’t worry about it.” I have pretty bad anxiety, it’s been six days and it’s still almost all I can think about. I feel like I should apologize but I’m honestly not sure if I’m in the wrong or not. So, aita?

What are these acronyms?

[vinelark]

Do you have any more outtakes you'd be willing to share? I love seeing what did and didn't make the cut on fics

i do!! i remember doing a little roundup of some outtakes for chapters 1 - 3 (found it! here) and i have some similar snippets from chapters 4 & 5 ☺️

chapter 4

a bit of cut dialogue from the zoo rescue:

“Oh, I’m aware,” Nightwing says. “Atlanta, remember?”

“What happened in Atlanta?” Tim demands, ducking away from another bird.

Nightwing waves a hand. “Classified superhero business.”

“Superboy, what happened in Atlanta?”

In Atlanta, Kon yelled at Superman about Tim’s misinterpreted fear toxin hallucinations right in front of Batman and Nightwing, which still makes Kon cringe a bit to think about. “Uhh,” Kon says. “Yeah, classified.”

two cut texting exchanges after the date:

Text message: Clark & Kon

[Saturday, 10:21pm ET]

Clark

Hey Kon—is everything all right?

I can have someone cover the rest of my watch if need be.

Kon

no, all good

apparently mr. wayne’s lawyers are On It

whatever that means in rich people speak

sorry if you like. get asked about this by the press lol

like we weren’t trying for a photo op but i should’ve heard the drone earlier

Clark

This isn’t your fault.

And I’m sure Bruce’s lawyers will have it sorted out by morning

Kon

yeah that’s basically what tim said

Text message: Jon & Conner

[Saturday, 10:23pm ET]

Jon

Ok the live is gone now

Also pa’s asking where u are what do i tell him

I think i have to tell him the truth he sounds worried because earlier i said u went to rescue someone n you haven’t come back

I can’t lie about this i feel bad :(

oh i just heard your window open nvm !!

Conner

all good kiddo, thanks for looking out

in tim & bruce’s conversation, there was a longer section about tim leaning into the “socialite” civilian role, which included the following exchange:

“Like…Paris Fashion Week?” Tim says. That’s always a big one for Bruce Wayne to be caught ducking into dressing rooms with various models.

Bruce gives him a flat look. “You are welcome to attend Paris Fashion Week. Chaperoned.”

tim’s instagram post originally had comments:

briancollinsss i KNEW i saw superboy at car’s party!!!

jerseygirlsteph 👅👅👅

itsanickname_grayson Hope you stayed safe up there!

chapter 5

this exchange in the flashback at the top of chapter 5 was cut/altered for flow, but i still like it:

“Okay,” Tim had said. “And, um, if you can’t come get me, is there a plan B?”

“I will come for you,” Bruce repeated, at the same time Dick called: “Superman.”

extra banter (co-brainstormed by @tigerjpg) that got cut because it didn’t quite keep with the tone, but i still adore it:

“I’m not perfect, anyway,” Kon says. “I snore. Maybe next time make a specimen who doesn’t snore.”

“Sometimes his sneezes register on the Richter Scale,” Tim says.

“And I have a crooked tooth, though honestly that might be from the time I slammed face-first into a volcano.”

“He also thinks wearing sunglasses at night is cool.”

and a bit later, also cut for tone/flow:

“[…] Hey, how unhinged about eugenics do you have to be for Cadmus to send you packing as an intern?”

Cadmus. Did Kon—did he tell Tim the name Cadmus, earlier? He can’t remember—he doesn’t think he did—but it doesn’t matter, because his thoughts scatter as the guy whirls on Tim. The rod comes up, jams under Tim’s jaw, pressing into the side of his neck. Not on yet, but it could be. Kon freezes; Tim doesn’t react except to go rigid, still tracking the guy with his eyes.

“Tell me honestly,” Cadmus guy says, lip curling as he looks sideways to address Kon. “Do you even like this one, or was kissing him the only way you could get him to shut up?”

Kon’s heart pounds in his throat. “You’re so…obsessed with my dating life, dude,” he says. Every moment the guy is looking at him feels like one less moment the rod might switch on. “Sorry, but you’re a bit old for me.”

and i have some extra core four shenanigans that probably won’t fit into chapter 6 at this point, but i’ll wait til i’m done to share that 💪

[thefallennightmare]

Comfort-Noah Sebastian

*gif created by me. feel free to use(sorry for the poor quality)*

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: language, mentions of period, and all-around good fluff.

Summary: Reader suffers from really bad period cramps and Noah takes care of her the only way he knows how.

Authors Note: Again, to the anon who requested this, I'M SO SORRY! I completely forgot so I really hope this makes up for it.

"Angel?"

A soft voice sounded from the other side of the door, followed by a gentle knock. I peered over the piles of blankets that I cocooned myself under and called out that the door was open.

"How're you feeling?" Noah asked with a frown.

I sighed and clutched my lower stomach. "The pain is terrible and the warm compress doesn't seem to do much."

It was like this every month for five days. My period cramps were awful, the pain causing me to be stuck in bed for days. Sometimes it would be so bad that I'd be hunched over the toilet, throwing up. It wasn't anything I enjoyed, so I always made sure that I stayed home away from Noah during those five days once a month. However, since we moved in together last month, this was the second time he'd been able to witness firsthand the pain I went through. And just like last month, he was there for whatever I needed.

"I ran you a warm bubble bath if you think you can make it to the bathroom," he nodded towards the bathroom across the hall.

I sat up slowly. "You didn't have to do that."

Noah shrugged before pulling off the mounds of blankets and taking the now cold compress that I was using to soothe my cramps.

"Soak as long as you need and I'll make you something to eat. What do you want?"

Ignoring the shooting pain that spread across my abdomen, I left a kiss on his lips in a way of saying thanks for running me a bath.

"Honestly, surprise me. Anything sweet."

With a gentle pat to my ass, Noah led me to the bathroom where he parted ways with me to trot back downstairs while I spent the next twenty minutes in the tub letting the warm water and bubbles ease some of the pain away.

Once dressed in a pair of Noah's sweats and oversized shirts, I slowly made my way downstairs to the kitchen where I saw Noah leaning over the sink, mixing something in a bowl. He had yet to get dressed for the day, baring all of his tattoos on his stomach, chest, and arms for all, or just me, to see. His long hair was a disheveled mess, but he still looked absolutely breathtaking. If I wasn't on my period, I'd probably make him take me on the counter.

He peered over his shoulder as he heard me walk in, a bright smile on his face. "Did the bath help?"

I nodded while sitting at our kitchen table. "It did, actually. Thank you again."

"Anytime, angel. French toast is almost finished. There's a glass of orange juice and some meds to help with the pain," Noah nodded to the glass and two pills that lay on the table in front of me.

My heart warmed with yet another small but kindest action from him today. After drowning the meds down with half of the orange juice, Noah brought me a plate of steaming hot French toast which I could only eat about half before the cramps made me hiss out in pain.

"Still bad?" he wondered, pushing his empty plate away.

"Yeah, I feel terrible. We had plans to go to the fair with Jesse, but I don't think I can handle walking for hours," I sighed.

Suddenly, Noah's arms pulled me from the chair, and carried me bridal style through the kitchen into the living room where the couch was set up with an array of blankets and pillows, the title screen to my favorite movie on the television.

"What's this?" I asked with a hint of a smile.

As he placed me on the couch and covered me with blankets, he sunk deep next to me, and I wrapped an arm and leg around him. The comfort of the large couch was exactly what I needed in order to deal with this pain.

"This," he pointed to the television. "Is our plans for the rest of the day. If you feel up for it, we can go to the fair tomorrow."

I stared up at him with so much adoration in my eyes that my heart swelled up in two sizes. Everything he had done since the moment I woke up this morning made every single cell in my body vibrate with love; something I'd never thought I'd get from a partner. I was sure if I told someone I was with that I was on my period, the flow heavy and cramps so bad that I could barely move sometimes breath, they would ditch me for the week and come back when I wasn't a mess.

But not Noah. He even changed the sheets this morning when I woke up to the blood staining my pants and the bed. Not once did he turn away in disgust or avoid me? He was what I thought every partner should be for their significant other.

Turning his chin towards me, I placed a firm but quick kiss on his lips, one he had no issue returning.

"I love you," I smiled into the kiss.

Noah brushed his nose over mine. "Anything for you, angel."