#and incredibly forced

[ultravioletbrit]

“numb” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 532 words

Part 5/5 (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4)

“Speak.” Sirius is standing in front of Regulus with his arms crossed.

“I’m not a dog, Sirius.” Regulus says, rubbing his ear that’s gone numb after Sirius used it to drag him across the room.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, please regale us with your ever heroic tale.” Sirius says overdramatically.

“Not much to say.” Regulus shrugs. “I left home, transferred schools and I start here next week.” Sirius just stares at Regulus for a moment.

“That’s it? You left? Just like that?” Sirius asks after a minute.

“Well, I left a note.” Regulus says casually.

“And you thought the best way to tell me this was to accost my best mate?”   

“That part was an accident.” Regulus tells him.

“Happy, right? Happy accident?” James speaks up.

“James, twenty minutes ago you thought he was a crazy person.” Sirius points out.

“I still kind of do. But he’s gorgeous and what’s life without a little risk?” James winks at Regulus.

“You need to sort out your priorities.” Sirius shakes his head at James.

“Plus, he’s related to you, he can’t be that insane.” James continues.  

“That is very flawed reasoning.” Regulus tells James. “Besides, you chose to be friends with him, I should be the one judging your sanity.”

“Don’t worry James, I chose to be your friend too. You’re just as sane as I am.” Sirius pats James on the shoulder.

“That’s a scary thought.” James and Regulus say at the same time and turn to look at each other. James smiles at Regulus and Regulus bites to inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling back. This only makes James’ smile grow wider.  

“What’s going on here?” Sirius asks, looking back and forth between them. James and Regulus continue to stare at each other for several moments before James clears his throat.

“Sirius… could you… err…” James says and nods his head towards the other room.

“What?” Sirius asks.

“Just…” James nods more firmly.

“What?” Sirius puts his hands on his hips.

“Sirius, just for like two minutes, could you go. in. there.” James nods his head on each of the last words.

“Nice one, James.” Regulus says sarcastically. “Very smooth.”

Sirius glares at James but eventually relents and stomps into James’ bedroom.

“Fine! I’ll be in your bedroom, making no noise and pretending I’m not there.” Sirius slams James’ bedroom door and proceeds to make as much noise as possible.

James and Regulus look at each other and roll their eyes at Sirius’ dramatics.

“So…” James starts. “About giving me your number…” He smiles and takes out his phone.

“You never quit, do you?” Regulus asks.

“Oh, c’mon. I face death.” James nods once again towards Sirius. “In the hope that you will please give me your number.”

“He would never kill you. Only maim, or seriously injure.” Regulus smirks. Then he glares at James for a moment before shaking his head. “I don’t know what you’re up to, but I have a feeling it’s not good.” Regulus finally lets himself smile at James.

“Oh, I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” James smirks at Regulus.  

Regulus rolls his eyes, but nevertheless, he reaches over and takes James’ phone to add his number.  

[tawnysoup]

"You never know, you could surprise us all in time. Who’ll ever know if it was you that caused the crime?"

(video lyrics under the cut)

"I heard a word that they paint mirrors on their face And soon forget that they reflect but don’t create.

I suggest that you address your appetite For to be seen to cast your beam across the night."

[batsyheere]

Bruce tries to adopt Ellie, who is immediately against it. She keeps throwing him off her trail and he keeps tracking her down. She's honestly concerned, and normally she would handle her problems by herself- but this is Batman.

So when Bruce gets a little too close and Ellie is just so tired... she calls for Danny.

"Mom!"

Cue college student, perpetually tired and overworked Danny "High King Phantom" Fenton appearing from the very shadows Batman normally does himself, seeing the situation and going off at this "clearly older man" chasing his daughter in the middle of the night.

Cue the most elaborate "stop trying to adopt my kid before I adopt yours" series of battles

[laniidae-passerine]

There’s a very easy way to get around the fact that Assad is unable to pass for a teeenager if the show wants to adapt TVA and that’s to rely on the theme of unreliable narration. Armand begins retelling his history and according to him, he looked like he was in his early adulthood. No older than twenty four, for sure, but also not any younger than twenty. And then, just when the audience has bought it, just when this version of events has been presented as the truth for long enough, someone questions it. Asks if he really looked like that. Asks if he’s being honest with himself. And for the briefest moment, we flashback to Amadeo, the age he was when Marius first saw him. Beaten, shackled, afraid. And undeniably a child.

[beebfreeb]

If I saw a nutcracker nobody could stop me

[wordsinhaled]

"What are you worried about, then?"

[sesamestreep]

I really feel like one of the best details in “A Scandal in Bohemia” that I never see people fixate on enough is that the story starts with Watson stopping in to see Holmes at Baker Street on a complete whim, because he happens to see that he’s home (and Watson is now married and living elsewhere). Like he doesn’t send word first, he’s not invited, he just shows up and surprises Holmes. Which is not that weird but then Holmes is like “oh good, I’ve got a case anyway, you might as well hang out!” which just makes it funnier when the King shows up and is like “I’d really rather speak to you alone, actually” and Watson tries to leave and Holmes is just like “anything you can say to me, you can say to my best friend John Watson, and if you ask him to leave, I would consider it a grave insult, you would be my enemy and I will not help you ever!!” And the king is like “…ok” and just moves on.

like, that is crazy behavior. Holmes is talking about how there’s probably lots of money in this case, and then almost turns away the client for…not knowing who the fuck Watson is?? He’s not even supposed to be there?? He just came to say hi?? “It is both or none”… girl, GET UP.

[gomzdrawfr]

Based on @ghouldtime's post on the boys with pillow pets

[emioliravioli]

did someone order bassist blaze?

no bg + closeup :>

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[robiberon]

jim meeting god (presumably) and the first thing he says is "tf u need MY starship for????" is very funny and very valid

[intermundia]

i think one of the most infuriating things about using the Force would be the fact that in order to reach out, you have to instead open yourself up and let it in. you must make yourself passive, in order to be active, you know? to see what is really out there, you have to allow yourself to look, which means pausing and offering up your attention non-judgmentally in order to take in the world before you act upon that information. you have to get yourself out of the way, because when your thoughts and anxieties are in the way, you cannot see past them. they are a shield blocking you from seeing the moment, and a filter that leads to motivated reasoning, seeing what you want to see instead of what is really there.

so in a high stress environment, when there is much on the line (fear) or innocents are being harmed (anger), the ability to actually take a second and put aside those feelings in order to understand the situation better and actually be able to fix things is no mean feat. you have to be able to simultaneously detach so that you can focus and act in the best interest of everyone with full awareness of the risks and benefits, while remaining deeply engaged and compassionate for everyone involved. it's not easy, it's not about ego and glory and pleasure, it's about loving the world enough to be an agent of peace no matter the cost. that kind of altruistic discipline would take a lifetime of study, and i think is so deeply admirable as a concept.

[applestorms]

(tw for extensive discussions of dubiously consensual sexual situations, typical to canon. also spoilers for the decay route update)

honestly, one of the most interesting aspects of andrew's psyche that we get to see in the most recent decay route update to me is his nearly unending hesitancy about having sex with ashley, despite both his overwhelming desire to AND her incredibly blasé, Yeah Sure Let's Do It attitude in response to the question.

while the end of the burial route provides some key insight into ashley's point of view regarding this topic (e.g. if you go with the less enthusiastic/more teasing answer to andrew's question of "we're not like that, right? right??"), and the shots & such ending provides even more intrigue into her motivations, i think that decay presents two key reasons as to why andrew has continued to hold back for so long: his two core conflicting desires, and an inability to see ashley as her own full person. notably, both of these parts can easily be connected to his mother's childhood abuse and parentification of him as well.

with regards to the first point: andrew has two main overwhelming desires at the heart of his character that motivate most of his actions, which unfortunately for him are completely incompatible. andrew wants:

to be a normal, average person-- someone who can hold a steady, respectable job, fit in at the block party BBQs, and not attract any negative attention from the neighbors.

to fuck his sister.

to some degree, you could even read the distinction between the two main routes themselves (burial and decay) to be motivated by whether or not andrew can diffuse the tension between these two wants-- in burial, he gives up on his need to fit in with the rest of respectable society, presumably pushing him more towards the fucking-his-sister route; in decay, he struggles significantly to let go of this desire for normalcy, and the stress almost always breaks him. notably, in neither of these routes can he fully give up on the second desire-- really, his relationship with julia and the rest of his life up til the point that ep1 begins has been about him trying and failing to do so, so this makes sense.

(sidenote: i would also like to clarify that i think the Most key distinction between these two routes comes down to the decision you actually have to make to get one or the other-- namely, whether or not the siblings are able to trust one another. but anyways)

this focus on the first desire for normalcy is also interesting in that it seems to be one of the core desires that renee holds as well, as we see her so happily boast about during their interactions in ep2. honestly i could probably write a whole post about how much andrew (consciously or, more often, not) mimics his mother's behavior and takes on her standards and ideals, but the key point to pay attention to here is the fact that andrew has subsumed his mother's viewpoint in such a way that he is either not fully aware of or simply hasn't questioned in all that much depth yet.

we can also see this with the aforementioned parentifiication, which has really interesting consequences on how much andrew does (not) see ashley as her own autonomous person. pretty much every single childhood flashback we get in 3a shows the same terrible cycle:

andrew is told by renee that ashley is His responsibility -> ashley causes problems on purpose -> andrew takes the fall for her

frankly, we don't even really need that first step for andrew to fully internalize the idea that ashley's actions are His to take responsibility for. the horrible consequences of this are also quite obvious: not only is this pressure to take responsibility for someone else's actions an incredibly unfair burden to put on anyone, much less a kid, but it also continually pushes andrew to see ashley as something less than human, or as little more than an extension of himself rather than her own person.

the main conflict in decay really comes down to this conflicting desire between the two of them, where what both andrew and ashley want above all else is Complete and Utter control over the other-- andrew wanting control because he has again been groomed to see ashley as his full responsibility, and ashley wanting control to assuage her own insecurities and fears about being isolated and hated forever. the more sympathetic throughline underlying a lot of this is that what both of them seem to want is safety, to protect both themselves and each other from any and all situations outside of their control-- though, unfortunately, a lot of times those exact external situations are simply the other acting on this mirrored desire for control lol.

anyways, going back to the sex thing-- since andrew doesn't see ashley as her own person, since he sees her as incapable of taking responsibility for her own actions and therefore as someone who cannot make decisions for herself, due in large part to him automatically transferring this burden to himself, andrew also sees ashley's consent as essentially meaningless.

the more sympathetic reading here is that andrew does genuinely want ashley to be at least kinda into it as more than a manipulation tactic/transactional thing-- but i think it's also equally likely that andrew simply doesn't want to have to once again shoulder the full burden of Committing Incest on his own, and he doesn't trust ashley to ever be even capable of taking the fall for her own actions. the fact that andrew still ultimately sees ashley as Leyley and NEVER as Ashley Proper (as he himself recognizes at one point) really just reinforces this to me. he says it himself-- he practically raised this woman. and in this case, even above all others, ashley's actions are quite literally also his own. it all goes back to that initial mistrust, and he carries that resentment with him even after they get around to actually doing it. mutually dubious consent, truly in-fucking-deed.

[lesbianjackies]

i did NOT just see someone complain that s3 is “reducing lottie to her mental illness”……….. oh my fucking god two episodes in and the horrible takes are already rampant

[ghost-orion]

i love that viktor is czech i love everything about it. my favourtie is when jayvik people make him call jayce a "dobrý chlapec" because they used google translate i love you so much everybody.....

a little guide on calling jayce a "good boy" in czech: "dobrý chlapec" is kinda like calling him a "sensible young man" skjdfh. "dobrý" is a very literal translation of "good", its use is like "good day, everybody", not like "a well-behaved dog". "chlapec" is super formal, it's like how heimerdinger calls people "my boy", not like anything familial or intimate.

you might want to probably use "hodný kluk", literally translating to "kind boy" or "nice boy", closer to what we use for praise. (a more casual version is "hodnej kluk", as i can't imagine they'd use formal czech in the lanes.) he could even just say "hodný"/"hodnej", as we often use just the adjective for nicknames and such. (if you ever see a slavic character call someone "hey, [adjective] one!" that's what that is, english is weird with this aslkh)

that being said: there is nothing wrong with using google translate!!! it's incredibly sweet nonetheless, i really don't mind any mistakes ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ i grew up learning english in fandom so i know first hand how hard it is :]

[significant-narratives]

something about mcstrome becomes even more tragic and also kind of funny when you compare them to whatever the fuck 8888 have going on. homoerotic best friend fallout so bad you can’t even look each other in the eye anymore vs david trapping willy in his arms after knocking him out of the playoffs so he can tell him ‘i love you’. burning your red string of fate and living with the scars it leaves behind vs strangling each other with it.