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EVERYONE GREAT NEWS REWRITE ANON RETURNED AND BLESSED US W MORE! i'll copy & paste the rest of the asks under the cut ⬇️ it's pretty long but worth the read (ive left my own notes in pink)
[continued from screenshot] We didn’t come up with a new name for Kylo Ren/Ben Solo but we did come up with a new arc and I put him in a traditional Alderaanian cape in the concept art sketches because he deserves to be an Organa (potes notes: YES!!!). I also gave him a lightning scar instead of a lightsaber scar because it made a bit more sense.
Our general plan was that yes, he’s still evil, at least a bit. His parents and uncle are awe-inspiring war heroes as well as being incredibly busy making sure the entire Galaxy doesn’t collapse in on itself in the power vacuum left behind by the Empire. Luke is part of a humanitarian aid/Geneva Convention type wing of the New Republic and Kylo finds himself both feeling like he lacks the means to prove himself and like they’re not doing enough to squash the threat of insurgence - which is still a clear threat and there have been multiple attempts on his mother’s life that have left the family scared. He absorbs certain parts of his mother and father’s political conduct; Leia’s willingness to fight for what’s right and Han’s general impulsiveness.
Anyway keep that in mind. He makes a stupid bid to try and prove himself by trying to fight off a whole imperial remnant cell alone “Just like the Jedi used to do.” and ends up going completely missing. Tl/dr: he’s super close to death and the big bad of the movie steps in to save him, teaching him what he always wanted to learn - how to fight and defend the people you love rather than focusing on connection to the force. Kylo doesn’t see the significance of that side of things, both because his parents don’t have an interest in it and because he’s grown up with tales of the daring exploits of Master Luke taking on ten people at once and chopping robots to bits. He just wants to make people proud of him. (OHHH THIS IS SO GOOD SO SO MUCH BETTER)
He’s pretty young when this happens too, and eventually his mind is twisted to believe that the only way to keep everyone safe is dictatorship. He’s grown up in a long, slow, difficult democracy with constant political unrest and everyone’s described how powerful and stable the Empire was his whole life - doesn’t matter that they were talking about how cool it was that they beat it. He still absorbed all that. (THIS IS SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER MOTIVATION and also great setup for themes/discussions on radicalisation and its like poetry it rhymes w anakin's fall omg)
Anyway, flash forward to the time of the films. He’s not a Sith, he can’t manage to push himself that far into the dark side. But he wants to be. He’s got a complex about it, he’s obsessed with getting stronger because then maybe they’ll be proud of me. He loses his first fight with Rey, not because she’s strong in the force at this point, but because he’s trained himself to the point of exhaustion after being reprimanded for a minor failure in interrogating Poe. He can barely move and he’s on the verge of fainting when they corner him in fact. He’s practically addicted to the pain of overtraining himself because that pain is what connects him to the dark side. (GOOD FIX!! 10/10 writing omg)
When Rey actually becomes a more formidable opponent in the force, he asks her “Who trained you?” and she tells him it was Han, not knowing the blow this is going to strike. This gets in his head. Badly. Han never understood the force when he was a kid, and was still not the best at being emotionally vulnerable (he was a great dad! But he was still the man who said “I know.” to “I love you.” (oop yep ok see ur point LOL)). Kylo isn’t to know that Han was FORCED to overcome this stuff through a brief stay in absolute hell. He asks what she can possibly have that he doesn’t, how is she better than him? And when he lashes out at Rey, telling her about the Han he knew, she doesn’t believe him and calls him a liar and a terrible son. This fight (which takes place on water) ends up with Rey almost drowning as Kylo throws a massive force tantrum, and Kylo having a breakdown under the sea in a force air bubble after the fight is over.
I think I’ll do a couple more asks because this one has been super long! I’m sorry if this was a chore to read I just thought I’d share if you liked the last one hah.
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Rewrite anon again! I’m sorry if this is getting tedious!
We had a general plan for Kylo Ren’s redemption where Rey would be in danger of falling to the dark side by the end of the second film (IM LISTENING), and Kylo would already be on the path to questioning things after some hard hitting blows
Death of Luke (his master) (;-;)
Rey was trained by and kind of adopted by Han and has become the galaxy’s beacon of hope. Maybe it is all on him. And she loves Han so much that it’s hard for his new master to twist the facts on him anymore.
The third film would be a fucked up family reunion type bit where Kylo begs for forgiveness and him and Han set off to try and save Rey together. (YESSSSSSS!!! omg this is everything to me holy shit)
Thanks for the listen! I hope these aren’t too annoying. (IM LOVING IT)
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Rewrite anon again (sorry). Wanted to mention Leia, Poe and Finn.
Leia is dealing with a massive insurgence threat which is why she sends Rey (galaxy’s last hope) away with Han (good at hiding. Also the only person she could both trust and spare).
Finn and Poe both comment a lot on how Rey’s galactic significance makes her blind to people’s lives. The New Order might keep her alive because she’s valuable, and Kylo might listen to her, but Finn and Poe are both canon fodder to both Kylo and the New Order. Hierarchy of lives and all that. (oooo yes that'd be such a fun like... counterpoint to the whole Skywalker Saga & fate-destiny-soap-opera)
Poe used to be a fighter pilot but is now more of a political leader and provides a necessary voice in the senate to backwater outer rim planets. He’s Leia’s political mentor (i assume you meant mentee/student?) with none of her royal manners and all of her intensity.
Finn isn’t exactly a clone, but he is grown in a lab. He’s more of a super-soldier than a clone, designed at the genetic level to be basically eugenics’ perfect man. (puts on my CATWS stan hat im listening) He becomes a field agent/espionage/sabotage type guy after defecting from the New Order because he doesn’t want to be involved in active combat any more, even though it’s hardwired into him and he has to fight it the whole way. Luke takes a liking to Finn before his death and teaches him about the importance of forging your own identity first before you start to think about where you’ve come from.
Hope you like the ideas lol we had a lot.
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Final (?) ask from rewrite anon maybe. It’s about Han because we did kinda just make the Han movies I realise.
Han saves Rey from pirates after she finally cheats herself offworld for the first time and finds herself overwhelmed. After losing Kylo to the New Order he has long since realised his shortcomings in parenting and while he works up the courage to reach out to his son, he uses Rey kind of like a do-over child. (...healthy!)
Han ends up stuck with Rey after Luke’s death and with Leia pinned down on all sides, and as well as trying to give her super DIY teaching, he realises she can talk to Luke. Understandably this hits him like a truck while he’s grieving his friend, and him and Luke have a kind of Haymitch and Katniss communicating-without-communicating relationship. Han can’t see or hear Luke, but he knows when Luke’s trying to use timing to tell him something. (AGH I LOVE THISSSSSSSSSSS YES using a THG comparison makes me love it even more)
Han also survives until the end of the films. Harrison Ford would hate me for this he wants that guy to die so bad but no the smuggler from the fuck end of nowhere with no cosmic significance, no nothing, just the power of love and a gun makes it to the end. The survivor’s guilt is insane. (ohh LOVE THATTT!!! ESPECIALLY W UR EARLIER THING OF FINN N POE SEEING THEMSELVES AS CANON FODDER WITHOUT A GALACTIC DESTINY)
Hope you enjoyed reading these and that they weren’t too much of a bore. Maybe I’ll write some of this stuff down if people like it. (EVERYONE TELL ANON HOW MUCH YOU LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW)
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Rewrite anon again (sorry)
Rey does of course lose her hand (fair, as is tradition) and she replaces it with a shitload of gadgets massively egged on by Han and Chewie. I think she’d have a special glove for it kind of like the equalist gloves in LOK. (SICK!)
Would also be great to have a ‘jedi’ protagonist who is even less aware of standard practice than Luke and will try definitely illegal moves like changing the length of the blade mid fight or kicking sand in your opponent’s eyes. (LMAO amazing omg)
---------------------------------------- (that was the last ask)
Me and my friend had some fun trying to rewrite the sequel trilogy a while ago and I think the best idea we had was Luke dies and Han and Rey get stranded on some nowhere planet where he has to haphazardly attempt to teach her years of jedi training in like a week entirely by reading out of Luke’s notes (somehow even worse than Luke’s extremely DIY training in the OT).
This isn’t at all based on the ‘Han has the force’ theory it’s literally just crabby atheist old man Han Solo and his dead best friend’s religious texts that are totally useless to him vs the world.
i LOVE that, disney needs to get you two rewriting the sequels STAT
(commission info // tip jar!)
#yes i know they sent this like 18 days ago i just. hadnt got round to reading it ok#anyway EVERYONE GO READ THIS REWRITE ANON HAS SUCH COOL IDEAS#SAVE THIS POST TO READ LATER OR SMTHN IF UR BUSY RN#rey#finn#poe dameron#han solo
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꩜ .ᐟ Shadow work prompts + benefits ༄.°
For shifting, pure consciousness and manifesting
"You need to look within, not out, for all the answers you seek are already within you"
ଳ benefits ଳ shifting ଳ void state ଳ manifesting ଳ bonus prompts
ଳ Benefits ⋆˚࿔
Engaging with these shadow work prompts is incredibly beneficial because it allows you to confront and integrate your shadow self—the hidden, suppressed aspects of your psyche that influence your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Your shadow self is not your enemy; it is a part of you that holds valuable lessons and insights.
By acknowledging and embracing your shadow self, you open the door to profound personal growth and healing. This process is not limited to manifesting, shifting, or inducing pure consciousness—it is a way of connecting with the suppressed parts of yourself, including those you may feel ashamed of or try to avoid.
By learning more about your shadow self, you can uncover hidden patterns, fears, and strengths that impact not only your current goals but other areas of your life. It allows you to move forward with greater self-awareness, emotional balance, and alignment with your true potential.
ଳ Shadow Work Prompts for Shifting ⋆˚࿔
What limiting beliefs do I hold about shifting? Where did these beliefs come from?
Do I truly believe that shifting is possible for me? Why or why not?
What fears arise when I think about successfully shifting?
Am I afraid of leaving my current reality behind? Why?
Do I feel deserving of living in my desired reality? If not, what makes me feel unworthy?
Are there any experiences or relationships in my current reality that make me hesitant to shift?
How do I feel about my current reality? What emotions or situations am I trying to escape?
Do I feel pressure to shift quickly? Why do I feel this urgency, and how can I be more patient with myself?
What does my desired reality symbolize for me? Does it represent freedom, happiness, love, or something else?
How would I describe my relationship with control when it comes to shifting? Am I trying to force the process?
ଳ Shadow Work Prompts for the Void State ⋆˚࿔
What do I believe about the void state? Do I see it as easy or difficult to access? Why?
What emotions come up when I think about entering the void state (e.g., fear, excitement, doubt)?
Am I afraid of the stillness or emptiness of the void? If so, what does it represent to me?
What would happen if I fully let go of control and surrendered to the void?
Do I trust myself to enter and utilize the void state effectively? Why or why not?
How do I perceive the idea of being alone with my thoughts in the void?
What fears or doubts arise when I think about my ability to manifest from the void?
Am I approaching the void state with an attitude of trust, or am I overcomplicating it?
Have I been comparing my void state journey to others’? How has this affected me?
What would I gain by fully embracing the void state? What would I lose?
ଳ Shadow Work Prompts for Self-Concept as a Master Manifester ⋆˚࿔
What do I believe about my ability to manifest anything I desire?
Do I see myself as powerful and capable, or do I doubt my abilities? Why?
What past experiences have shaped my beliefs about manifestation?
Are there times when I felt my manifestations failed? How did I interpret those experiences?
Do I fear my own power as a manifester? If so, what scares me about it?
What does being a "master manifester" mean to me? Does it feel achievable?
How do I handle setbacks or delays in the manifestation process?
Do I believe in instant manifestation? If not, why?
How do I respond when things I manifest show up in unexpected ways?
What blocks do I feel in my manifestation practice, and how can I start dissolving them?
Do I feel worthy of having my desires fulfilled? Why or why not?
What stories have I told myself about why certain things haven’t manifested yet?
How do I speak to myself about my manifesting abilities?
Am I placing too much focus on the "how" and not enough on the "what" and "why"?
If I fully trusted my ability to manifest, how would my life change?
ଳ Bonus Prompts: For your Journey ⋆˚࿔
How can I show gratitude for my progress so far, even if I haven’t reached my goal yet?
What lessons have my challenges with shifting, the void state, or manifestation taught me?
How can I balance self-discipline with self-compassion in my practice?
What would it feel like to fully embody the version of myself who has already succeeded?
How can I let go of resistance and flow with the process instead of forcing outcomes?
#empyrealoasis#law of assumption#loa#void state#pure consciousness#master manifestor#manifest#shifting#reality shifting#shiftblr#loa community#loa tumblr#loassumption#loa blog#manifestation#voidblr#void#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting consciousness#4d reality#desired reality
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i don't think I've ever heard you talk about aym and baal in your mother au, do they exist? if so what's their relationship with ovidia and narinder?
OOOH im actually so glad you asked bc i have drafts on drafts of thoughts of the brothers,,, because i actually feel like theyd very present around!! sorry if this seems really fragmented im kind of mentally patching them together
i feel like i also have to explain the relationship between Mother and the mystic seller a little bit, once they meet Mother almost idolizes them and is excited to take their words to heart, and as theyre working towards recruiting the bishops theyre "rewarded" for their progress, they see it as a blessing, to mm it's the way of things
they receive baals necklace first, and shortly after leshys got, the ritual to bring baal back is successful and hes incredibly skeptical about everything thats going on because he cant fathom narinder being a mortal buthe takes it better than his brother who holds hard onto the belief that this is all unfair far longer than his brother does
theres a LOT of things that happen between baals resurrection and ayms, during which baal learns about what it is to be a person and individual, but he'll still struggle with this feeling of being loyal to narinder, possibly even more so now that he sees him as an equal with flaws
he has to help his brother adjust and learn but it takes aym tattling to narinder that forces nari to tell him that by that point (its probably been a couple years) that hes grown fond of their insistence to follow him around even now so loyally, that he considers them equals(his way of saying friends without actually acknowledging it in words yet)
he of course tells him he can never repeat this to his brother(bc baal and narinder are kind of on the same page and it can be left unsaid)
they both have their own ways of adjusting and they are reunited with forneus(tho it takes a while). they do stick around the cult because while they've learned more about themselves and each other, following narinder has been all theyve known, and this brings up a lot of complicated emotions the three will eventually touch on whether they want to or not, it will reach a point it has to be talked about
as far as their relationship with ovidia/mother goes? as Mother, they show a very genuine(and skewed) form of love to their followers and its extended to them without question and without judgement, and its initially what eventually gets baal to even allow them to speak with him and convince him to place enough trust in them(thats how they got him to forneus in the first place) and thru that, aym would come to. not trust. but at least respect them enough not to cause trouble or give Mothers followers a reason to doubt them(even if he will always believe their power belongs to narinder) they are gifted necklaces because in a selfish way, Mother wants them around for narinders sake(his only friends)
as ovidia? it becomes very complicated again, because ovidia still does things as Mother, but their actions dont feel like they come from a genuine place more than "its what i have to do because only i can do this" and after the brothers have had a long life to develop on their own and together, its upsetting. even after ovidia and narinder get together their feelings about ovidia stay complicated but they think it will work itself out, its not as though they can do anything about it!
:^)
anyway heres a doodle of the boys i did on my new years stream
#botalks#boart#cotl#cotl mother au#sorry this ended up longer than i meant it to and its still not even scraping the shit i yapped at dey as i wrote this#i love them both SO much
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Hai since you aren't taking actual fic requests right now and only headcanons I wanted to ask if you also do those rankings? If you haven't seen basically people ask a question like 'who would be the biggest gentleman in a relationship' and the person who asks either gives a few characters for the writer to rank and write a few sentences or let the writer choose which characters they think fit best
But yeah I've basically have been seeing this a lot recently and had to think of you and your blog because I think I'd be something nice and short to write when you don't wanna do hc's/fic's and could help with potential writers block !
And if you plan on doing that then here would be your first ranking request !! :3
So out of Thanos, gwi-nam and niragi who would be the most freaky and rough in bed?
(btw I know this is long and I hope this wasn't a bother to you, I just ramble a lot about things I'm interested in and I just love your blog and everything you've written so far and I hope you continue <33)
im in love with this ranking system thingy uhm oh em gee ?!?!?!?!
i will absolutely be ranking now it's such a cute concept😭😭
below is my personal ranking.. (also thank you for liking my writing it always makes me so nervous when people compliment me..)
No.3: Choi Su-Bong/Thanos (Squid Game)
Thanos is rough, yes. He likes choking you, he likes making you cry - not to mention he really enjoys edging you for as long as possible to watch your face contort in slight pain as you beg him to let you cum.
However, I'd argue he's not entirely the type to force you into anything if it makes you super uncomfortable. The only exception for this is when he's high and not really mentally present but most of the time he doesn't push you too far over the limit.
Of course, don't mistake this for me saying he's not rough! He totally is. But, compared to the others I'm ranking, he's def less extreme..
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No.2: Yoon Gwi-Nam (All Of Us Are Dead)
This is pretty self-explanatory.. we've seen plenty of scenes with him and he does NOT play.
Again, he also likes seeing you cry and choking you and blah blah blah but he's more freaky than Thanos which is why he's number two on my ranking.
He's ONLY degrading. There's nothing nice about this man. Maybe he would've pretended to be a little nice but he drops all that when he's fucking you honestly.
However, he's still only no.2 because while, yes, he isn't above being violent toward you and man handling you - he's not quite as bad as who i put as no.1
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No.1: Suguru Niragi (Alice In Borderland)
No.1 for a reason.
He's the roughest and the freakiest best believe it !! He really doesn't bother playing nice whatsoever. If he sees you and he likes you, he'll just claim you without a care in the world.
Just really kinky in my opinion!!
prolly into gun play, knife play - anything incredibly violent sorry not sorry. I mean.. we all know the typa guy he is so..
i'd argue he views you ENTIRELY as a doll for his pleasure. Not anything more honestly.
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CONCLUSION: First time ranking and I may have made it a little fancy set up bc i got excited at this concept..
But, yes - Niragi is No.1 on this list. I feel like he's just a real kinky and rough asshole. Although, I do totally see Gwinam being similar to Niragi in the future when he reaches PEAK dickhead-ness.
My king Thanos is only No.3 bc he's not totally mean at heart i feel.. he's just really rough when he's high but I don't think he'd be the same level of rough as Gwinam and Niragi.
anyway, hope my ranking was good !!
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(thank you sm for this idea i need more holy moly..)
#xaeinfinity#squid game#squid game 2#squid game season 2#squid game s2#thanos squid game#choi su bong#aouad#all of us are dead#gwi nam#gwi nam x reader#alice in borderland#niragi suguru#niragi alice in borderland#aib niragi
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Sadly, there’s no such power that Angel has to read or sort thoughts, but, regardless of how little he believed his thoughts or efforts were worth, the minuscule result to be chastised- it is true that he did think of Alastor. And he found himself reaching out more and more, despite knowing the stag is capable, and astronomically more powerful, he puts himself in a position to aid, or simply to offer himself even without being prompted. Truly. It was strange. Then again, while he was no Samaritan, he considered the other to have importance. In general for sure, but to him.
Sure wishes that he could do a little more than hope, but, anything he can scratch the surface of… suppose it’d have to do. It’s all someone like him could do.
Angel flips the steak once more, nearly finished anyway. It won’t be long til they can eat. But it did give enough time for Alastor to flatter him beyond words. Well, beyond any words he knew. The trust and the benevolence given from an offer like that is nothing short of incredible. Alastor is an astounding type, one that really expects nothing from him. Never forces his hand, or makes his company any more conditional. He’s sure nobody else could get such a genuine and quite frankly generous offer such as that one. When the meat is seared and to a medium level of being cooked, the burner is flicked off, a small nod of finality given to say he was satisfied with it. It’d helped him have his eye on something else so he didn’t make his cheeks burn any brighter.
Angel is sure to keep his voice hushed, it drops into a lower pitch to murmur just above a whisper for his security. “You’d do that..? I think, I like that offer. I c’n promise nobody’d hear bout it. Aside from my pig.” He adds the last part for honesty’s sake, as well as the fact that it’d likely be something to ease any possible tension. Though in hindsight, there was the likelihood he may ask about rules for his pet at some point in the future.
“I appreciate it. I’ll be good about it, too. Maybe I can bring a snack over for ya, make it somethin’ nice.”
Though, knowing Alastor, he knows the other won’t do things if he is truly against it. But still, Angel would much rather bring a presence of elation or mutual comfort rather than that of some terrified kid who’s pissed the bed or something. But the gratitude he has for Alastor willing to take him in like he had before, both in health and in physical dismay, is certainly not wasted. Hell, Alastor had even thought it fine without taking the blood that Angel had agreed to give.
“Oh- speakin’ of: it’s ready.” Brightly, Angel gestures a little invitation for the stag to start off.
As it so happens, Angel does recall this, hence why he had made his assumption with a bit of finality. Suppose it never did hurt to have well wishes for the other, but it wasn’t like hopes did anything for the other party. No, all they do is hold a space for someone even with empty hands. No real aid, only an acknowledgement that Angel had thought of the other. And really, what is it good for if he didn’t have anything to offer? Exactly.
“Yeh, I thought so! Don’t mean we might not get lucky every once in a while. But, I r’member y’told me that. B’fore puttin’ on a lil music.” One palm gestured into the air, a vague nod to the tune jaunting around them. Just in case, he holds his tongue about the reason behind that visit, or the fact there was a visit at all. He’d hate to wake Alastor up via making his heart drop.
Putting that aside the pan for the eggs were already smelling delectable. Had he been any less lucid, he might show for the fact his mouth was watering. Not totally unresponsive though, a little sniff lends an appreciative hum. It’d been quite some time since he’d been allowed a treat like this. Only thing catching him off guard being the noise of an eggshell. Angel can’t say he’s any better, if he is without company, many things go into his mouth. Can’t say the sandiness of eggshell hadn’t been one. Not something he’d do often, he’d rather use it for something else, or grind it down. Definitely didn’t like how it crunched much as the stag did that’s for sure. Still, Most things that don’t go into a dish can and will be used by him or his pig.
That thought about the eggshells or the phantom feeling of the crunch on his senses gets swiped when he’s asked about his own predicament. He almost defensively asked Alastor to admit his own first. Instead, he gives half a shrug, only hesitating a moment before being oddly cooperative. Surprised even himself on that front. “Well, it ain’t the room. Probably tha best place I’ve ever had. But, you could say I have trouble settlin in and gettin’ comfortable sometimes.”
It is a little odd to leave the proverbial door ajar like that. Much like dipping one’s foot into a body of water, despite not being a full plunge, it is still being exposed. How much did Alastor really want to hear about any hallucinations, nightmares, or pains? It’s hard to say he’d want to talk about tweaking enough to break his mirror, or that his own clothes on his skin felt painful enough some nights. His body was always working against him. That traitor,
#((ghfshkn god alastor is so real for that i love him)#the ball rolled back!: reply#angel dust; y’know from tv?#alastor: my dear deer friend#radioiaci#((look lissen relationships are weird and vulnerability is YUCKY 😔
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i think one of the most infuriating things about using the Force would be the fact that in order to reach out, you have to instead open yourself up and let it in. you must make yourself passive, in order to be active, you know? to see what is really out there, you have to allow yourself to look, which means pausing and offering up your attention non-judgmentally in order to take in the world before you act upon that information. you have to get yourself out of the way, because when your thoughts and anxieties are in the way, you cannot see past them. they are a shield blocking you from seeing the moment, and a filter that leads to motivated reasoning, seeing what you want to see instead of what is really there.
so in a high stress environment, when there is much on the line (fear) or innocents are being harmed (anger), the ability to actually take a second and put aside those feelings in order to understand the situation better and actually be able to fix things is no mean feat. you have to be able to simultaneously detach so that you can focus and act in the best interest of everyone with full awareness of the risks and benefits, while remaining deeply engaged and compassionate for everyone involved. it's not easy, it's not about ego and glory and pleasure, it's about loving the world enough to be an agent of peace no matter the cost. that kind of altruistic discipline would take a lifetime of study, and i think is so deeply admirable as a concept.
#i love the jedi man im in my feelings again about this ideal of service and harmony#it's beautiful and difficult and not for everyone#but such incredible things are possible with the force#jedi order#sw#sw meta
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why the fuck is it that some people cant seem to acknowledge that people can just... be disabled. not through any fault of their own, not because something "happened" to them, just because, you know, sometimes people have disabilities. like, come on
#.pdf#rd#kd#just a warning these tags are long. like. really incredibly long. i had thoughts.#sorry for the vague ass post i'm just upset about some stupid shit my dad said yesterday.#namely: outright telling me that he doesn't believe i have non-24 (circadian rhythm disorder).#and that even if i do he doesn't believe it's possible for it to actually be a lifelong and disabling condition.#*also: this post isn't meant to imply that disabilities that did have some inciting incident are more accepted or anything.#it's just that i'm frustrated with the “you're disabled? why? what happened?” sentiment a lot of people seem to have.#nothing happened to cause my disability. i'm just like this. no i can't change it. what the fuck do you want me to tell you?#i'd guess it probably has to do with society's focus on work and productivity and career-mindedness above all else.#and when someone comes along that doesn't fit in with the way things are structured it just doesn't compute.#because the idea of people who can't dedicate their entire lives to working is so fundamentally contradictory to their view of... i don't-#-know. meaning in life? fulfillment? that they feel a need to reject the possibility altogether.#this is mainly when dealing with invisible disabilities from what i've seen. because i think there's a tendency to view visibly disabled-#-people as belonging to a different category altogether. which of course is its own issue but i'm not visibly disabled so i don't feel-#-like it's necessarily my place to speak on that.#anyway. i just want my struggles to be acknowledged as real. because they are. and i need people to understand that I Have A Disability.#albeit one many people don't even believe could be real because there's a sort of belief that circadian rhythms are purely a product of-#-external forces like sunlight so “you can't possibly have yours be different and have you tried just going outside more?” sigh.#sorry i also just remembered my dad telling me he doesn't believe i can have something so rare because the chances of having it are too low.#which is some ridiculous logic to me. rare doesn't mean it's impossible. some amount of people have to wind up with it regardless.#i just lucked out i guess.#n24 tag
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pokemashe sinnoh trio relationship chart ft two joke ones
#pokemashe#dawn lyre#trainer dawn#lucas aquila#trainer lucas#barry cygnus#rival barry#scarfshipping#kind of#this is pre forming their polycule and theyre kind of sort of very different people by the time its actually formed#being forced to face your own creation at such a young age traumatizes you (on top of other stuff)#so of course they'll never be the same people they were at the end of the journey and the dynamic would change#they still would do incredibly destructive things for each other by the time they do form it though#theyre each others constant. theyve been through everything together.#without the other two just a single one is incomplete. and its vice versa#their relationship still has silliness to it though i promise#6 years later and boom theyre in kalos trying to research the life and death but also theyre on vacation for their first year anniversary#theyre horrifically in love with each other they talk with Serena about their partners with each other for like a second#and she's horrified at how head over heals a person could possibly be for their partners#(especially for dawn. she didn't seem the type at first to Serena but no she's just as bad as the other two.)#they still both pick on barry though but in a friendly way that friends do (but in this case lovers)
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i’m gonna be so for real, if things don’t start changing for me in good ways i will be disappearing off the face of the earth
#Rasp Rambles#vent#my mental health is already in a shitty state and i am already considering multiple different ways to end my own fucking life#suicide mention#like i’m genuinely hanging on by the thinnest fucking thread only because i have friends that care about me. i don’t want any of them to be#sad about me dying. i’d say the same for my family but i don’t they ever have really given a shit about me so what does it matter.#i’ve been forced to be the perfect; quite child my entire fucking life and that was never good enough. i had to be kind and respectful#even though none of the adults in my family ever really were that to me. and the ones who were didn’t stay that way for long. it truly#sucks so fucking badly that i can’t get away from any of them. i don’t have a job because mental health issues; some physical health issues#and my lack of drivers license and car. i can’t financially support myself. i never get to fucking leave the house and go anywhere but the#store or my grandparent’s house with my mom and sister. i have ONE irl friend who i’m not even sure considers me a friend because#we haven’t gotten to hang out much since i graduated in 2023. i have practically no fucking support system in the physical world.#i don’t get to do fun things i enjoy that aren’t internet related besides drawing. but artblock and general depression are doing their#damn best to prevent me from even enjoying the creative process at all. one may think its difficult to feel lonely when you’re living in a#house with at least one other person but its fully fucking possible apparently. for me at least. i really wish my mom would actually get me#a therapist or psychiatrist i can see in person but we all know that’ll never fucking happen because again; she doesn’t fucking care enough#to make any actually helpful attempts to get me medicated for whatever the fucks going on in this stupid head of mine.#sorry for being incredibly fucking depressed and mad at 3am. it will happen again unfortunately for all of us.
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It makes me upset to see people calling AI stupid or just straight up saying "fuck AI" (even though it's in an art context) because it's like... I know and understand that the hate is directed at how it's being used currently and that people maybe just don't care like I do about this but it's upsetting because that's WORK. Not in a monetary sense at all but what everyone knows as AI didn't just sprout from the ground one day, it's decades of dedication and learning and development and collaboration to make a tool with the intention of making life better regardless of any one individual's intentions and it just makes me sad that there's so much panic around it, both from the whole "being replaced" thing that comes from waaay way back and also the very real concerns regarding generative AI. Like I can't just go up to someone and say "hey, isn't this cool?!" and expect them to understand I'm talking about AI as a tool and a product of passion and collaboration over time rather than a quick easy fix for when you want to see yourself as an anime character without having to learn to respect art first. I don't knowww it just makes me so so sad that something so beautiful is viewed in such a negative and strange light because the entire world refuses to slow down for a single second
#diary#it's also the fact that most people don't have any particular interest in cs#like nothing beyond ''we're in the future :o'' and it's not something you can force because that's how you get people being adverse#to anything ever#I feel like anything to do with technology is so sensationalized that people see it as ''something difficult'' and leave it at that#it has a lot to do with math in particular being regarded as a Superior show of intelligence even today and it has always been#sooo incredibly fucked up to me.#cause the amount of people at school that would treat me like an alien just cause I liked math / anything puzzle-y is INSANE#for example I have no fucking clue how most things work. like in general. so I really admire people who are good or invested in those thing#but I hate to think that any field or development is comparable to Magic or super estranged from myself or anything like that#because SOMEONE DID THAT. everything you know was worked for#and stopping to think about someone's work only to end up talking about it like it's magical or impossible#feels like a massive disrespect towards them. it's not impossible. someone worked hard to make it possible.#but I understand that stopping to consider these things is not something everyone can afford to do or even want to do#I'm a very slow person in general to the point I want to spend as long as possible looking at every part of anything I find interesting#but I just can't do that because there's other things I need to do. and it's the same for everyone else#tldr WHY ARE WE GOING SO FUCKING FAST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry about my ramble. you are my mutual and you love me <- indoctrination btw
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#seeing weird t //rf takes abt surrogacy is so. 😨 'you can't pay to use a woman's body!!!!' ok first of all that is. Not how it works.#like. obviously in some situations people choose to be a surrogate as a last resort which is absolutely not good#but i really really really hate this black and white mentality these people get where if it's bad sometimes it's labelled Bad#some ppl genuinely choose to be surrogates bc they enjoy the process of pregnancy & helping people achieve their dream of starting a family#'surrogacy should be illegal' do you realise how fucking insane you sound?#forcing women into surrogacy should be illegal sure. but can we like. focus on making a society where women don't feel forced into that.#rather than ruling it out and labelling it bad overall when it's so much more nuanced than that??? it's really really weird?#if a woman knows the risks of pregnancy but genuinely wants to experience it to allow someone else to have a child??#that's? their choice?#the least f*minist thing you can possibly do is say hey actually it shouldn't be allowed for women to do that w their body#like you do realise that sounds fucking crazy right#and then the whole 'they only 'enjoy' it bc they've been conditioned to think that blah blah blah GOD do you HEAR YOURSELF...#why are you acting like all women are immature children incapable of making informed decisions.#in the name of f*minism too like you must realise how patronising it is.#'she THINKS she wants it but no one wants that!!!' or maybe you just don't understand that different ppl feel differently abt stuff.#if YOU don't want to be a surrogate then don't 😭 it's no one's place to tell anyone what they want.#and for those with fertility issues etc etc who can't have their own children biologically it's such an immense kindness & blessing#to have someone willing to carry a child for you. like it's really incredible that people choose to do that#and undermining it by acting like they've been groomed into it by the patriarchy...... hello.#anyway rant over it's just such a weird take and not what i expected to see today#'just adopt' yes adoption is super important and there are so many kids who need homes but. it's also an extremely lengthy process#and rlly difficult sometimes too#& if a couple wants their own biological child that's their choice yk as long as everyone involved is ok w it ur opinion does not matter😭
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the poll on hated subjects in school made me remember the single most unhinged class i ever had, which was my last politics lesson in 10th grade. everyone (first and foremost our teacher) was screaming and insulting each other. people were crying and some just deadass left out of protest in the middle of it. it was absolutely surreal.
#lily talks#it's been a while but iirc the whole thing happened bc of a discussion about israel#which in light of recent events feels incredibly ironic#i do not say this lightly but the woman teaching the class had ISSUES#certainly on a personal level#but also it was actually harrowing to witness this person using her postion (teaching politics and ethics) for no other reason than to forc#her own political believes onto as many kids as possible#and if anyone dared to disagree (which of course little me did first thing when she took over the class in 8th grade) she not only gave us#bad grades for the entire 3 years we had her class (of coruse with no good reasoning even just to pretend)#but also dubbed all of them nazis or sexist or any other wildly problematic thing you could imagine#even if and in most cases especially when it had absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand#naturally everyone present quickly developed a rather sarcastic and grim sense of humor when dealing with this person#like 'what crime will i be accused of this week? find out after the break'#my personal highlight still was the time i was supposed to describe a very low-res black and white picture with a woman and#a lot of boxes full of fresh produce#which i phrased as such but then made the mistake of adding that i (due to the quality) could not make out where this was taken#which was my teachers cue to spend the next 5 minutes reprimanding me bc apparently 'THIS WOMAN HAS HER OWN STORE!' (good for her)#and by not mentioning that i was being misogynistic#so there. now you know it. i am a horrible person who uses the medium of overhead transparencies to spread misogyny.#anyway-#the truly entertaining thing was the guy who had to do the same with the next picture which was some dude selling kebab#for some reason the teacher liked him even though he constantly made fun of her#i don't know if she just didn't get it?#so he came up with the fanciest most over the top proper officialese for saying 'kebab guy'#naturally she sang the highest praises#moral of the story: when in doubt call the kebab vendor of your trust 'Fachkraft für Rollfleisch-Management'
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"Not actually out but also no one who sees me doesn't think that there's something going on" is a fun state to be in
#not out *except to my two friends. partially. but in general y'know#it's generally a very negative thing and something that frustrates me and makes me feel awful etc etc etc especially because i'm very#limited in what i can do/wear/etc as it is and this. suspension. is incredibly annoying#but every so often i try to look at the funny side. even though there's quite a lot of frustration in there too#(--_--)#mytext#like. fuck me for having so many issues with my mother but it is what it is. and idk i cannot even begin to imagine living your life#without ever questioning things like ''common sense'' or the reasoning behind ''how things are''#and without getting into the sexuality bit (she thinks that i'm a lesbian but still clings in terror to the hope that i'm not. that's it)#one of our most common convos is ''women shouldn't [x]'' ''who decided that women shouldn't >x]?'' ''*evades the question*''#and it drives me craaazy craaaaaazyyyyy. ''have you ever once in your life not assumed that you were an inherently inferior human?'' ''no''#and that's one half of it the other half of it is me being constantly forced into these pointless arguments when i'm just doing whatever#and want to be whoever. like idgaf that you can't possibly begin to imagine gender being anything but Pussy Girl Pink and Dick Boy Blue#but let me live my life at least#i think if i one day straight up told her that my not so strong connection to womanhood partially if not mainly has to do with me being#okay with lesbians being attracted to me than it has with whatever else she would explode#on that matter it's a shame that uoma isn't one of the fun slurs that got/are getting reclaimed but instead kinda disappeared and wasn't#that common to begin with overall because coincidentally i like it a lot ^_^ <3
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Beach sand dynamics are stupidly complicated. In some places, yes, native vegetation holds the sand together and stabilizes the dunes. In other places, invasive vegetation introduced to stabilize the dunes fucks up the cycles of where sand is eroded from and deposited, leading to dunes forming in places people don't want them even as beaches erode nearby. (Also, massive changes to the structure of coastal wetlands.)
Whether waves deposit sand on a beach, or erode it away, has to do with the beach slope, the sand particle size, the angle at which waves approach, the wavelength and amplitude of the waves..... A guest lecturer for my coastal engineering class told us that, when running computer models of erosion and deposition responses to proposed beach projects like this, you're lucky if you end up in the right order of magnitude.
Beaches are very dynamic. It's not uncommon for hundreds of tons of sand to shift on and off a beach over the course of a year, usually scoured off by winter storms and deposited back over the summer. Anything that tries to modify that process - such as to prevent the sand from scouring away past a certain point - runs the risk of massively changing the dynamics in unpredictable ways.
And then, with "beach nourishment" projects like this, there's the question of where the sand comes from - where it was mined, and what the environmental impacts of sand mining there are - as well as the question of where the sand ends up if it all erodes away like this. (Did you know there's a sand mafia? That's more to do with the mining of sand for concrete, though.)
Anyway the bottom line is: don't put your fucking house there.
You think you're "next to" the beach, but you're very much *on* the beach as far as the scope of its natural processes go. And either you're fucking those dynamics up, or they're going to fuck you up. Or both!
absolutely losing my mind that a bunch of nimby assholes spent $500k to build a sandcastle that was promptly wiped away
#My understanding is that on the east coast of north America many of the problems stem from loss of native beachgrass and plant communities#While on the west coast many of the problems stem from the introduction of invasive plant species to hold the dunes#Including those same east coast grasses! As well as iceplant and other things#Also seawalls. Those have been built all over and they're a stupid idea everywhere#I said these dynamics are complicated to model but for seawalls specifically its actually very easy#A seawall redirects wave force in such a way as to undermine its own footing. There's physically nothing else it can do.#Frankly one of the most concisely self-destructive ideas ever implemented#And we built a lot of them!#There's many other types of shoreline armoring or soft shoreline protection#From those giant concrete jacks to rock rubble to anchoring driftwood down with rebar#All of which have their own mess of possible effects#Some of which are much better ideas than others#But as a baseline - colonist land use has been incredibly obtuse about building permanent structures in dynamic environments#Like coasts. And river banks. And other places but *especially* coasts and rivers#Trying to pin down a landspace which exists in a dynamically stable state is going to backfire in so many huge messy ways#Dumping half a million dollars of sand into the ocean is frankly the least of it
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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:)
#hi that was so terrifying#michi tag#wow what the fuck#i didnt even know where to land??#its so fucking loud THERES WATER EVERYWHERE????#THE CYCLONES ARE FREAKING ME OUT!!!#ISLANDS GET LAUNCHED INTO SPACE AND I WAS ON ITTTTTTT WHAT THE HELL 😭#i was trying to get on the probe but man did that not work#ok so i think the landmasses are on the poles?#or something#idk like once you get past the thick ass atmoshpere everythinng kind of goes to shit#its just so incredibly loud it makes me anxious and like i need to do something quick#AND im frankly just not good enough at navigating my ship OR my jetpack to figure out where to go#AND avoid the death cyclones#there better not be anything important in the water 😭#ough#that was horrible#like the other planets i arrived and landed like :) and it was fine and THEN the horrors would start#but the horrors start before you even land this time#there was a giant warp thing i think im meant to land on to help my ship stay there when the island goes into space#also possibly the probe station gets younked back to land too bc there was a solid amount of time while i was struggling to figure out how t#to land that i Could Not find it#god#ok attempt number 2#i didnt even die this tim i just force quit cuz the anxiety was getting to me
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