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willowwhispersspeakeasy · 3 years ago

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hello, i saw requests were open. can there please be another one of those mc turns to a cat and start acting like a cat but with riddle, azul, and kalim. thank you very much!

twst! mc getting turned into a cat

characters: Riddle Rosehearts, Azul Ashengrotto, Kalim Al Asim

warnings: gender neutral reader, fluff

Riddle

immediately scolding whoevers fault this mishap was. he may well dump you in the lap of someone he trusts to instead focus on overseeing turning you back again.

you purred as Trey scratched behind your ears, happy for the attention. Riddle continued to scold the ADeuce duo, who he believed was responsible.

Cater pulled your attention away with a feather, giggling while filming you for his socials.

"oh give them a break Riddle, look how cute they are~" he said, letting you snatch the flamingo feather for yourself. you pounced on Cater's hand, resting your teeth on his wrist playfully, but not biting down to cause him any harm.

he wrestled with you for a moment, before letting you bold away and hide behind Riddle's legs. the housewarden let out a sigh, looking down at your feline form.

the very tip of your tail flicked back and fourth, eyes still fixed on the flamingo feather on the floor. you were far to focused to notice Ace sneaking behind you until the boy had scooped you up.

you let out a startled meow, pulled into the gingers arms.

"see? they're fiiiine. they're even having fun!" Ace grinned down at you, scratching at your chest.

Riddle sighed again, taking you gently from Ace's arms. leaning your paws on his shoulder you licked at his cheek affectionately.

Azul

he thought about handing you off to the twins for the time being, but the passing thought of Jade using you for experience or Floyd deciding you looked tasty held him back.

you were gently dropped on one of the leather couches in the VIP room, Azul looking down at you quizzically.

"that is expensive, and if you claw it up you'll be owing me for the damages." he stated. you simply sat, blinking up and the merman with your tail curled around you.

"but you're welcome to take a nap for now. I'll fetch you when the cure has been made." he shrugged, before returning to his desk and picking up his work again.

you did nap for a while, curled up in a nice warm patch. but soon enough you became board. after a good stretch, you trotted over to Azul. rubbing your cheek on his pant leg, you arched your back and flicked your tail.

he glanced down at you, pushing this glasses further up his nose. you blinked up at him expectantly. he sighed, reaching down his free hand to scratch you back.

of course you took this as an invitation, and hopped right up into the merman's lap. he was going to gently remove you again, but you curled right up on his legs into the cutest little ball, and went right to purring.

deciding you weren't in his way, he simply went back to his work. every now and again he would absentmindedly reach down to pet you. you fell right back to sleep in no time.

Kalim

hes worried you might get hurt. seeing as you are now so much smaller someone could step on you by mistake. but hes happy to entertain you while a cure is found.

Kalim followed you through the library, eyes up at where you hopped from the top of one bookcase to another. he giggled, watching you prance along, ducking under stacks and hopping over others.

when you came to the end of the line, Kalim called your name softly, catching your attention. you turned to look at him, he stood with open arms and a big smile.

sitting on the edge of the bookshelf, your tail flicked once, twice, three times before you jumped.

you were caught safe and sound in Kalim's arms.

"good job! im sure you're hungry after all that yeah?" he giggled, rubbing his face in your soft fur.

you made a small "prrum" sound in conformation. Kalim giggled once more as you reached your paw up to bat lazily as the scarf around his head.

he planted a kiss to the top of your head, before happily skipping off to find Jamil. the tigers in his parents household ate raw meant, but Kalim wasn't sure if that was a good idea since, well, you were going to be turned back into a human soon.

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mylifeinfiction · 3 years ago

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My Heart Is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones

In my initial day-after review of this, I was far too harsh on it. Truth is, this is not the book I expected it to be. This is my fault, of course, as it was the fourth Stephen Graham Jones book I've read, and I've - generally, at least - come to know his style. I went in knowing it was going to have a lot of slasher movie references, but I was totally blown away by just how much of a doctoral thesis it actually amounts to by the end. But now I've sat with it, and even revisited the final two chapters (pretty much the entire final act) after being gifted a signed edition for my birthday (only bad thing about libraries is you have to return the books, ha!)... so here are my actual thoughts.

There may still a lot throughout My Heart Is a Chainsaw (especially in the second act) that doesn’t entirely work for me, but DAMN is that final act pure, brutal, thematically cathartic slasher brilliance. My main issue with the book as a whole, and what bummed me out most while reading, is that aside from the final ~100 pages or so (the final act), not a whole lot actually happens, and its second act had me begging for it to just end already (I wanted the body dump, dammit). That's all because its protagonist, Jade, is too often unbearable in her constant encyclopedic rambling about slasher movies, and that makes the plotting through the first ~300 pages sluggish. Sure, all of those seemingly endless references do an extremely effective job in building up Jade as a character and analyze a cycle of violence in this country against young (especially indigenous) women in an original manner. But they also take up a lot of real estate, here, and often feel too much like pure slasher film fan-service and little else. Their thematic significance in the context of this story - especially paired with Jones's prose, which is just as rich and wildly readable here as in his other books that I've read - may work wonders in forcing the story (and Jade) to remain with the reader after the reading is done, but Jones very easily could've cut the references in half and still managed to make this story deliver the same vicious axe to the face.

Once we get past the heft of it all and enter the final act, however, Jones's plans become clear and we're given an emotionally rich, nauseatingly violent 'body dump' that hits with the force of an uncontrollable forest fire and vengeful great white combined, only ultimately more shocking and somehow more bloody. After the set-up, we're given that savage little slasher story we were theoretically promised from the get-go. Seriously, even if you're not a rabid slasher fan who eats up all the horror-talk throughout the book, staying with it - yes, even through that second act, "please just end already" slump - will deliver a twisted, wild horror reading experience; one that takes the slasher tropes explored throughout the earlier parts of the book and dismantles them with bloody glee.

Yeah, I'm still kinda bummed that this book didn’t quite blow The Only Good Indians, Night of the Mannequins and the meta-powerhouse that is The Last Final Girl out of the water in the way I expected/wanted it to. But after Jones explores his themes through the lens which he knows best, he delivers the goods. And even those parts I begged to end are refusing to leave my mind nearly a week later, which I guess is just a testament to how interesting Jones is as a unique, bizarre voice in literary-horror.

6.5/10

-Timothy Patrick Boyer.

#books #my heart is a chainsaw #booklr #Stephen Graham Jones #horror books #slasher books #fiction #reading #readers of tumblr #2021 #2021 books

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aion-rsa · 3 years ago

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What We Do in the Shadows Season 3: What is an Energy Vampire Anyway?

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains spoilers for What We Do in the Shadows season 3’s first two episodes.

Boredom, tedious, tiresome, flat. These are not the first words which jump to mind when thinking of vampires or comedy, but What We Do in the Shadows wields them like secret weapons without sacrificing a single laugh or scare. The FX horror farce, which is a series adaptation of the 2014 feature film created by Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement, follows four vampires. They have been roommates since, well, forever, but one is different from the rest.

Nandor the Relentless (Kayvan Novak), Nadja of Antipaxos, (Natasia Demetriou), and Laszlo Cravensworth (Matt Berry), are traditional vampires. They drink blood, a virgin’s if possible. This is usually supplied by their familiar-turned-bodyguard Guillermo (Harvey Guillén). A probable virgin himself, but off limits. Even vampires know not to feed on their own supplier, especially one who has taken down the entire local vampire hierarchy. The fourth vampire does not drink blood. He subsists on the lifeforce of others. He is an energy vampire, and no one is safe from his appetites. Familiars are fair game, and so are the other vampires.

Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) looks like an office drone, talks like an automated menu, and has the presence of an interdepartmental meeting memo. A simple watercooler chat can drain a listener of the very will to live. It’s tasty. The Staten Island vampires have been named head of the entire Tri-State vampire community and Colin, who will be celebrating a major milestone this season, is undergoing a search for self.

You don’t have to look far from Colin to find Mark Proksch, the actor who plays him. In Better Call Saul, he played Daniel “Pryce” Wormald, the ineptly arrogant pharmaceutical connection who was very particular about his baseball cards. On The Office, he played Nate, a proven entity, but not without handicaps, like hearing, vision and cognition. With offbeat roles on This Is Us, Modern Family, Portlandia, Drunk History, Bob’s Burgers, and Adventure Time, Proksch has spent his career playing yo-yos, his first appearance was as a self-proclaimed master.

Proksch spoke with Den of Geek about vampire centennials, television perennials, and freezing his genitals playing kickball in the snow.

Den of Geek: Hello and thanks for doing this, and I wanted to wish Colin Robinson a happy birthday.

Mark Proksch: Well, it’s a little premature, but thank you.

I know the season is building to it, but will you be throwing a big celebration?

Yes. There will be some festivities, Colin Robinson style.

Do you know his sign?

I don’t know his sign. Gosh, that’s a good question. I don’t think he knows it, even.

Is there anything he wants for his birthday?

I think what he wants most is to know where he came from, and where he’s going. He’s in a bit of an existential funk right now. And he’s doing a lot of research about energy vampires. The problem is there’s not much out there on energy vampires because no one likes them. So, there aren’t many books about them. When he goes into the big Vampiric Council library, he can’t find a single word about energy vampires. And that’s probably because they’re so reviled within that community, that they don’t respect the energy vampires, or have any of their books.

You’ve been doing a lot of research on the history, and the nature, of energy vampires, as you said. What do you think, or, what do you call what he is feeding from? Is it Prana? Chi? Neurotransmissions?

Oh, yeah. We haven’t learned. He still doesn’t know. I think he’s feeding on the exhaustion of others. The everyday life exhaustion of others, I think, is what he feeds on.

Does Colin ever contemplate the carbon footprint of the energy vampire?

No, I think Colin’s in for it just for himself.

How come Colin can stand fire, he laughs it off, but he can’t deal with a cattle prod?

Yeah. Tony, you’re poking holes here. I don’t know. That’s, again, a very good question. Why doesn’t fire hurt him, but a cattle prod shocks him? Maybe, because one is energy? I mean, electrical energy, I should say. I guess heat is its own energy.

In the Cloak-of-Many-Nandors episode, how did it feel to hear Kayvan Novak do you? And did you give him pointers? Did he drain you in the process?

Yeah. Well, Kayvan has been doing all of us, since day one of shooting. So, it wasn’t a revelation to hear him do my voice. That said, we all sent recordings to him so he could perfect it. I haven’t seen the episode yet. The night we were filming my scene, it was about 4:00 a.m., it was one of the coldest nights in Toronto. So, I didn’t stick around to hear him do my voice. But I’m sure it’s as good as he was doing it on day one.

There’s a lot more location and exterior shooting this season. Is that more fun? Or is it just another day in a different cubicle?

I love our set. Kate Bunch, who is our set designer, is an absolute genius. And we film in the cold months, in Canada. So anytime we get to be on set, near the fireplace that actually works, is a plus. Filming on location has its limitations. We can’t film during the daytime, because the vampires will be burned up. So, we always film at night, when on location. And it looks like it’s 11:00 p.m. or 10:00 p.m., when in fact, it’s usually 3:00 a.m. or 4:00 a.m. And so, when we go on location, we’re usually shooting pretty unpleasant evenings. So, I’d much rather film on set. Filming on location can be fun though, because you have a lot more interaction with real people. And I think that’s one thing that makes the show really funny, is seeing these idiot vampires dealing in the real world. So, it’s kind of fifty-fifty for me.

Did you have fun in the snowball fights?

Yes. There are a lot of snowball fights, yes.

The last time I spoke with you, Colin had just gotten a promotion and it kind of went to his head. How is it for Colin now, to be in power at the Vampiric Council?

I think, as much as Colin loved having some power, I think his M.O. is really, just fading into the background. That way, he can prey a lot easier. Just trying to mix into the group. Be a spider with his web, in the background. I think that’s how he prefers to prey. And so, even when he becomes part of the Vampiric Council, he still allows others to exceed him in power. And so, this season, when Nandor and Nadja are the heads of the Vampiric Council, he’s more than happy to be the secretary. The most boring job you can have in a council setting, taking the notes.

Who do you think Colin would prefer on the throne, Nadja or Nandor?

That’s a great question. I think he would probably prefer Nandor, because Nandor is so stupid. Nandor is very, very dumb. And so, he, Colin, can get Nandor to do pretty much anything he wants. Whereas Nadja, I think Colin likes Nadja. And I also think that Nadja’s too smart to fall into Colin’s traps.

Does he get a jolt out of things like the heart ripping?

Yeah, I think so. I think he does enjoy that type of stuff. Yeah.

Can you feed off Nadja’s ghost in the Nadja doll?

I can’t. And I think I’ve tried to several times. I don’t remember what made it on air. But there’s been several times where I’ve tried to feed off of the doll, and it doesn’t go anywhere.

Will Colin’s research turn up any famous energy vampires? And have you come up with your own?

I’ll drop in names for energy vampires, every once in a while. I don’t think any of them have made it so far. I mean, I’ve done Andy Warhol, who seems, to me, to have been an energy vampire. Truman Capote. I would love to have Bob Newhart on as an energy vampire, because I think he’s brilliant, and he would absolutely kill it. Yeah, I’ve thrown in some of those names. David Crosby, I’ve thrown in. I mean, the more left field, the better. But I don’t think any of those have gotten in. I don’t think they want to insult people.

When you look back on your character’s past, do you find any trace of Les Nessman DNA?

Only in my acting. I loved WKRP, and Les Nessman was definitely a good energy vampire. Just a great character, and acted brilliantly. Yeah, I’m sure I stole from him. You know, it’s interesting, I mostly watch classic television. And I’ll see something, and I’ll be like, “Oh, that’s where I got that. That’s where I took that from.” I haven’t seen him since childhood, but it made an impression on me that, “Oh, okay. That’s why I do that.” And that becomes very eerie to me, when I realize I’m just a culmination of things I’ve been watching my whole life.

I’ve recently been watching it and was amazed by the physical comedy. Arthur Carlson was a genius. So, tell me about the physical comedy in What We Do in the Shadows. Because you’re using not just you, the actors, but you have the effects, and there’s a lot going on, especially, in the backgrounds.

Yeah. I personally love being able to do physical comedy. And Colin Robinson is so great for that, because he’s so at two with his body. He’s not a physical human being. He’s not athletic, to say the least. And I think it adds an extra layer to the character, when you actually see him physically emote, really. Whether it’s dancing, or playing kickball, he’s very unsettling in his movements. Then when you add in the ability to fly, once in a while, or throw people against a wall, it really becomes a playground that not a lot of shows let you get to do. Explore those extremes of physical comedy. And so, I love it for that reason.

You mentioned being free to emote. In the opening episode, you actually are peeved when you can’t feed off of Nadja and Laszlo, and when they shut you down. Does Colin get drained when the feedees don’t give with the Prana?

Yeah, I think he gets really frustrated. It’s almost like a dog that’s always promised a treat, but never is actually given the treat. I think he becomes furious. And he thinks it’s unfair, I would expect, and thinks that they’re not playing by the rules. His bizarre social rules, in which he should be allowed to feed on whenever he wants. Because he gets to do it all day long at work. Anytime he’s out of the house, he gets to do it. But when he’s in the mansion, they know what he’s up to, and they can shut him down pretty quickly. I think he gets frustrated.

Also, still with the first episode, your toilet duties. They only seemed designed to annoy you. So, when you’re actually annoying yourself, isn’t that like cannibalism?

I don’t know if he’s annoying himself. I think he’s really into what’s going on in those toilet buckets. That’s all. I think he’s curious.

You meet a big fan in the rogue vampire house, in Queens. Does Colin’s reputation precede him? And will we see a growth in his vampire community renown?

That’s a great question. I think his reputation does precede him. That said, I don’t know what the writers have in store in that story. I mean, it would be interesting to see him rise to a level of energy vampire stardom, and how he would handle that. But I don’t know.

Is that a little counterproductive?

It would be in his mind, absolutely. Again, it goes back to him being the spider with the spider web, and just, kind of, hanging out in the background.

Do you think the connection you make with energy vampires is different from the connection traditional vampires make? And might we be seeing something of an underground, within the underground?

I think with the traditional, bloodsucking vampires, I think it’s mostly sexual. For them, they just want to get their rocks off. I think with energy vampires, it’s much more subtle, and a little more complicated. And I don’t know if those relationships could last, the energy vampire relationships. What we saw with Vanessa Bayer’s character, Evie, I think that ran its natural course, as far as romantic liaisons with energy vampires.

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What We Do in the Shadows season 3 airs Thursdays at 10:00 p.m. on FX.

The post What We Do in the Shadows Season 3: What is an Energy Vampire Anyway? appeared first on Den of Geek.

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ofneves · 5 years ago

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zendaya. cisfemale. she/her. ／ neve laurent just pulled up blasting take me by aly & aj — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty-one year old actress & grad student, i’ve heard they’re really capricous, but that they make up for it by being so ebullient. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say hiding behind a smile, ripped jeans paired with old tshirts, and messy notes in multi-colored ink. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( acting/career claim: zendaya ! )

triggers: toxic/abusive relationship.

growing up

neve is the younger sister of noel. she doesn’t really remember her dad, but she’s always been close with their mother. she was a chip off the old block, and as a toddler liked to emulate her mother.

she also looked up to her big brother.

basically, she loved her family with her whole heart.

never cared to look for her father when she was old enough to wonder about him. she figured if he had cared enough he would have stuck around and clearly he didn’t. so why should neve care about that?

however, she did feel a weird sense of abandonment because of it. she never really liked to talk about it--still doesn’t--but it permeated her life and left her with a lot of unanswered questions.

it was clear from a young age that miss neve was brilliant. she might have also been a bit hyperactive ( her kindergarten teacher still remembers her -- as the girl who decided to let the class chickens free during snack time ) too, but she was clearly not being challenged enough in classes.

before getting to school neve had already taught herself how to read from watching subtitles on tv screens. she’d ventured to the local library as well to gather as many books as she could. by the age of ten she’d have read several plays--her favorite was shakespeare’s much ado about nothing. in fact, she’s still got an old copy of it covered in notes.

but she was in first grade by the time they figured this all out--she was already reading at a fifth grade level.

anyway, she got tested. there was a whole bunch of people to talk to and everything. she’s basically a genius--like she has an actual genius level iq.

so when this was found out the school had to adjust her learning. in the middle of the school year she was moved up to the fourth grade, and it was recommended that she continue classes outside of the elementary school.

of course, it wasn’t easy but neve would go to seminars that were open to the public, anything she could go to she wanted to learn. she’s basically the equivalent of ralph from the show scorpion ( if anybody else remembers that show ) except she’s more sociable.

she wasn’t the easiest to talk to as a kid--think the kind of kid who used big words to sound smart, except she did it because she wasn’t sure how to dumb everything down when she needed to, it was a big learning process for her.

neve did get better as she got older--it came from her family surrounding her and the kids in her grade ( and also from watching tv and reading a lot as well ).

she was in a lot of local plays, including school plays too--though in the school plays she was usually undercast since she was the tiniest/youngest in the grade. but she loved acting. she just never thought it would get her anywhere.

by the time she was fourteen years old she was a senior in high school, set to graduate a few weeks after her fifteenth birthday. she was working with several offers from major schools, including several scholarship programs. of course, it was enticing to get offers from ivy leagues like harvard and yale.

eventually, neve settled on nyu--they offered her a scholarship that was a big proportion of her yearly fee. plus, she was intrigued by going to live in one of the biggest cities in the states.

maybe it was also the fact she was fifteen and really wanted to get away from home.

college

it was a lot to deal with, since she was so young. and her roommate definitely treated her differently than she would have someone who was her own age.

they decidedly did not get along. it wasn’t exactly what neve thought she would be dealing with when she arrived to college--she wasn’t naive by any stretch of the imagination to think that her roommate was going to be her best friend, but she wanted to get along with her too. and that seemed like a very unlikely thing.

she spent a lot of time working a part time job in the literature and film departments. she was a study aide, working as a tutor even though she was only a young teenager compared to everyone else starting off at the college.

neve grew a quick attraction to one of the TAs in the film studies department. they grew close quickly. he wasn’t too older than she was, but make no mistake that he was older.

she didn’t really tell anybody about it when they began dating. she wasn’t self conscious about it or anything, but she knew the age gap was probably an issue with people and she didn’t want to cause a stir since she wasn’t too far into her college career.

the next few months were fast paced between college and her new romance. she barely had time to speak to anybody.

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING !!!

which her new boyfriend took advantage of that isolation. she wasn’t really noticing the signs at first but it was all very toxic and began to border on abusive. he was controlling and took over every bit of her life that he could.

even when things went back to normal after exams, he was still the same controlling person. it got worse as time went on, he made her feel insecure.

it didn’t get physical until the very end of their relationship.

the only way that it ended was because she was cast in a disney channel original movie that took her away from new york.

she hasn’t spoken to him since, but she used to get phone calls and messages that she believed to be him.

END TRIGGER WARNING !!

acting to now

it started with a disney channel movie ( frenemies ). she’d been on several auditions before that but hadn’t landed anything big. this was her first lead role.

acting was always something she really liked--she’d always been drawn to plays and reading scripts. but never did anything quite as big as that.

it was really what started her career--though she’d been in a couple of things before that there was never anything big time.

it came out that she could sing a bit too and she was almost coming out with some music. but then everything changed and she turned down a record deal due to time constraints.

of course, the time she’s spending working on acting, neve is also working on her degree. she wanted to go through with school.

she’d transferred to an online program where she could still attend school and be on the set of movies and tv shows.

she currently holds an undergraduate degree in film studies, literature, and a minor in philosophy.

she’s working towards a masters and plans to continue her education farther too. neve plans to continue working as long as she has the drive to learn more.

she’s been in several movies at this point, though one of her favorites was the greatest showman. -- and one of her favorite projects in general was dancing with the stars simply because it was really fun.

live in la in a house, but likes to travel because she’s got money now.

personality

neve hasn’t told anybody anything about her past abusive relationship, and is kind of a ticking time bomb when it comes to her emotions. she doesn’t mean to be, but sometimes she doesn’t know how to hold it all in longer.

a bit of a big mess. but she’s lovable when you get to know her.

hard edge.

wants to be the best she can be and pushes herself to do everything that she can.

often winds up with a fuller plate than she can really handle, but she doesn’t like to talk about it either.

possible connections

a roommate/housemate or two?

a childhood best friend -- someone from texas!

good friends

co-stars !!!!!!!

exes?

i’ll have a list at some point with more things but like this to plot with her!

#❀ ━━ ooc ┛#excess:intro #abuse tw #toxic relationship tw

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memorylang · 5 years ago

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Fathers’ Day, Familiarity and Faith | #38 | June 2020

If my COVID-19 experiences were a Netflix Original Series, I feel someone could title it, "The Groundskeeper."

Synopsis: Returned Peace Corps Volunteer from Mongolia, now back in Nevada, learns a thing or two about hedge trimming and much more about life living.

The inspirational hit series stars award-winning memoirist Daniel Lindbergh Lang, director and editor. “Please support the official release.”

Quirky thoughts keep me sane. More on these later, of course.

The U.S. celebrated Father’s Day 2020 on June 21, so I commemorate it with reflections from being my father’s son.

The adventures follow both my Mothers’ Day reflections (#36) and Easter in America stories (#35). I focus now on continued COVID-19 adventures in yard work, sorting and reminiscing.

Chronologically, we pick up from my stateside Week 11 (May 15-21), when my sisters came home from their unis’ spring semesters. With them as collaborators, I continued sorting our family’s memorabilia. After a few weeks’ interlude 'round Memorial Day, big changes occurred Weeks 14 through 16 (June 5-25) through Fathers’ Day.

I also consider Pentecost and the Spirit. Easter 2020 ended Sunday, May 31, so we’re in a fruitful new time. In fact, I write here results from the smattering of routines I shared before.

Lastly, to clarify, many assume my dad’s Asian. But that’s untrue. He’s Austrian-American. That’s where I get my “Lang” surname. Ethnically, I’m about half Austrian. Culturally, too, Dad’s family influenced me far more than Mom’s when I grew up. My mom was ethnically full Chinese, hence that half.

Now back to Dad!

Father’s Perspective on My Boyhood

During my 2020 time home since Peace Corps’ evacuation, Dad often prods me to take on projects he sees around the yard. So, I do yard work. I don’t like desert heat, so I usually work the daily tasks an hour or two at dawn, sometimes dusk. Picture three months this way.

But Dad would tend to demand a certain perfection on many projects, expecting me out there working when there’s work to do. I’d rather let nature do as it pleases. Peace Corps experiences taught me decorated yards generally feel overrated. When I’m older, I feel I’d much rather have my family frequent parks to get our yard fix. Nonetheless, yard work lets me chat with God, who reminds me empathize.

It is difficult to say, "I serve the Father," if I do not serve my father.

With this in mind, I consider the patient progress of waiting while working often.

Dad grew up in rural America’s Midwest from the mid-20th century. Dad’s parents and community were largely Austrian-American Catholics. Dad’s grandfather immigrated with Dad’s great-grandfather because land in Austria was scarce, late-19th century, yet plentiful in Kansas. My dad grew up on a farm as a third-generation Austrian-American. He funded his higher ed. through U.S. military service and numerous side jobs, including those in teaching and sales.

Through Dad, I’m a fourth-generation Austrian-American—though, only second-generation Chinese-American, through Mom. I wasn’t quite on a farm, having grown up between Midwestern suburbs and an urban West. Still, Dad regularly tasked siblings and I with yard work.

An Energetic Kid, Ages 4-7

Now this gets interesting!

This mid-May 2020, my younger sister and I unearthed Christmas letters our parents (mostly Dad) had written to Dad’s siblings—my uncles and aunts—since before 2000. Turns out, our mom kept hard copies in the bins beside her desk. From these, Sister and I read pretty enjoyable pieces about our child selves.

Here I share Dad’s tales from grade school me in Indiana (used with permission):

2001: "Daniel is 4 years old now and is looking forward to kindergarten. He likes outdoor activities and he is quite strong for his age. He can do a lot of sit ups and push ups already. He likes to walk with [his mom] at the airport, which is nearby."

2002: "Daniel is five years old. He is in kindergarten. He is [...] very competitive. He is in the same school as [his older brother] and is rapidly learning to read now. He is good at math, and he studies very hard."

2003: "Daniel is six years old. He is very competitive and naughty. He always keeps track of the books he reads and comes home to tell us how many books he has finished. His goal is to reach 100 books this year. He is over 90 already. Well, he likes to pester [his brother a lot]. He thinks that is fun. [...]"

2004: "Daniel is seven. He is goal oriented and a 'do'er. He is good at making all kinds of crafts. He is our family's talented teacher. He taught [his younger sister] how to read before she went to kindergarten. He also gives homework assignments to the others, except [his older brother]. He always pesters [his brother] as usual."

God graced me with energy as a kid.

I noticed three themes. For one, I seemed to follow Dad’s lead in filling my time productively. He served in the U.S. Army National Guard and emphasized self-discipline. As a civilian family practitioner, too, he advocated for daily exercises, such as sit-ups, push-ups and walking. I seemed to follow suit.

On the other hand, I was a kiddo with an older brother, and I didn’t mind expending plenty spare energy to bother him. Thankfully I stopped pestering when I grew up with enough self-awareness to know good people don’t intentionally troll. Uni helped.

Curiously, I noticed the letters seemed to note many of my interests resembling Mom’s. Arts, reading and studying seemed more like Mom’s interests than Dad’s, yet I hadn’t realized my similarities to Mom back then. Of course, Dad values education, too.

Studious Beyond Belief, Ages 13-19

As I went through elementary school, Dad’s military service included deployments overseas to Afghanistan (2005) and Iraq (2007). In 2008, our family moved from southern Indiana to North Las Vegas, Nev., where I started middle school. Since my younger sister and I hadn’t found letters from Dad’s years deployed with the others letter, we figured Mom wrote them. By 2009’s end, Dad retired as a lieutenant colonel. But he continued work elsewhere, including in a dozen nations to indigenous peoples of the Americas.

Here were Christmas letters from my adolescence on. Coincidentally, I noticed the first couple we found both came from my last years at respective schools.

2010: “Danny, 13, is finishing at [...] a magnet [middle] school associated with math, science and technology. He [earned last year] a 4.0 [grade-point] average. He received a letter this past week from a magnet high school stating that he was the type of student they were looking for. [I, Dad, think Danny] is also in the National Junior Honor Society [service group]. [...] Danny continues to have to be at the school bus stop at 5:50 in the morning.”

2014: “Danny is the ultimate study robot, with his inhuman ability to study for hours on end in place of sleep, or other usual activities for high schoolers. He attended NV Boys State this past June, and he has risen to the rank of Division News Editor within [Kiwanis] Key Club--a HS service group. Danny and [his younger sister] also attended Key Club activities in CA in Nov. [...] As this is his senior year [...], he should be starting to apply for colleges now, but [...] he has not applied to Yale, which is causing his mother to feel that she is a ‘failure’ if none of her kids get accepted at this prestigious school--it’s used by Chinese mothers as a guilt trip for their kids! [...] He also received an AP with Honors award [from his magnet high school]. He presently is in the ‘top 10’ students in his class ranking. But if he doesn’t get his applications in, then there is always UNLV [Las Vegas]!”

2016: “Daniel is now a sophomore at UNR (Reno) in the Honors Program, and is an honors ambassador. He says he has 1 major in journalism with 3 minors at the present time, and he works at the library when time permits. He also completed an internship in publishing during the summer session, when he stayed in Reno and frugally survived during the summer by ‘couch surfing’ at several different locations. Several of us attended his confirmation at Easter in Reno. He also [...] presented at a few [conferences]. Additionally, he is involved in [the Kiwanis] Circle K service group on campus, as well as the Knights of Columbus, and he sings in the choir at the local Newman Center. Based on his Facebook postings, he seems to be enjoying college immensely. [...]”

I definitely loved service groups—and still do, if Peace Corps counts!

Seeing these letters in 2020, I feel amused how Dad wrote of my later academic interests with distance. Dad’s 2002 line about 5-year-old me, “[Daniel] studies very hard,” escalated exponentially, noticeable by his 2014 line about 17-year-old me, “Danny is the ultimate study robot, with his inhuman ability to study for hours on end in place of sleep.” I figure my peers were similar, though…

I feel amused, too, how Dad included Mom’s wanting me to pursue STEM careers. Chinese often expect this of their kids. In some sense, I’m glad Dad let me escape the Asian tendency and Mom’s ideal to have me pursue a Bachelor of Science. Back then, I contended a bachelor’s from the professional School of Journalism would still make me hireable.

Sure enough, Peace Corps hired!

Besides, I felt vindicated later when I learned my minors in English literature, Chinese studies and communication studies resembled my late mother’s fields of English literature and international relations... She clearly benefited from Liberal Arts. More on these in previous reflections, though. :)

Back From Mongolia

Snap back to March 2020, when I just returned to America after our COVID-19 evacuation from Mongolia.

I was really into “Frozen II,” the cathartic film easing me back into the States. My first week back felt very different from those after. Because “Some Things Never Change,” I discerned to do “The Next Right Thing.” Waking to various “Frozen II” numbers of looping in my brain, days began with such thoughts.

My first days, I often compared experiences to Mom’s when she raised my siblings and me. Despite being at home, I was alone. Dad worked away, plus siblings had school and work. (This preceded American schools canceling or moving online.) So, I felt confused what to do.

I discerned I could tidy the house, serve where others couldn’t. Whether dishes to wash or rooms to clean, I addressed what I saw. I imagined Mom felt this way when my siblings and I attended school and Dad worked.

I also considered my living father matters as much as my late mother. So, honoring Dad honors her, too.

Dad always had yard projects he wanted me doing. I had to weed so much when I first returned.

I felt insights, at least. I considered, weeds are eternal. Weeds will always grow on spiritual life. Weeds attempt to choke our crops’ life. We must uproot our weeds and prune dead areas to fortify new and better parts of being. The physical and spiritual are one. … Yet, weeds still annoy me.

Noticeably, my labors seemed to confuse many in my family. They seemed mostly to recall the 2015 me who’d choose studying over chores any day. But I guess most hadn’t factored I’ve experienced plenty in my years away from home, especially during my months living alone cooking for myself in Mongolia. House tasks are necessary parts of life.

Besides, I’d already been doing these tasks others seemed disinterested in, even back at Christmas 2019, when I sorted Mom’s books, and later during post-evacuation Week 9 (May 1-7), packing up Mom’s desk after three years gathering dust. I felt frustrated others seemed slow to accept I’ve changed since Peace Corps. I pray for grace.

The New Journey

June 6, 2020—just days after Pentecost and coincidentally one month to my 23rd birthday—marked one huge occasion.

Dad remarried!

I felt excited.

I also noticed a curious parallel in threes. For, on my family history adventures, I discovered something about Dad’s parents. In 1987, his mother's spouse passed away; on the third year, she married again, in 1990. 30 years later, my dad’s spouse passed away in 2017; on the third year, he married again, in 2020. Coincidences comfort me at times.

That day, I’d also finished revisions to submit my thesis to a different journal for publication. I’d tried before with one in June 2019 and February 2020, but unfortunately my work hadn’t fit within their scope. Still, the editor believed that I could publish it in the right place!

College Town Return

That Week 14 (June 5-11), Dad also purchased a house in Reno, Nev., where my kind stepmom may move, too. Dad requested aid moving things in Reno. My younger sister and youngest brother both opted out, so I went instead. I prefer Reno’s weather, anyway.

In Reno again, I felt parallels to past years.

Helping my youngest sister and her friend move from a condo and house to the new place, I recalled the many who helped me move between Reno homes during my undergrad. Honestly, I felt weird to think of my dad relocating to Reno, especially since I hadn’t known the area he chose existed during my years studying in town.

Mongolia returned to mind, too, while I lugged belongings in and out of the condo, up and down stairs. Hard to believe that that was three months ago when Peace Corps evacuated us. Exactly three months before, March 9, 2020, was my first Monday in Nevada again.

Writing of Mongolia, I also recalled every bellhop who's hauled my 23 kg (50 lbs.) luggage up stairs in Asia. God bless them.

On the bright side, with helping the sister and friend move, Dad said I got stronger. That felt good. When he asked how many push-ups I could do, I said 50—my new personal record met just days before. When I started working out the month and a half prior, I could only do half that.

Thanks to the lifting and yard work tasking me in Reno, I paused my fitness routines. I realized, I’ve enough strength and endurance for what I’d want to do. So now, having met the goals, I still work out, just less concerned about gains.

Tests of Faith

Back to that ‘groundskeeping.’

With Reno versus Vegas, I prefer hedges to palm trees. Hedges are more fun and less merciless. They leave my body less bloody than palm trees, too. Reno’s weather also keeps cooler.

As you’d expect, yard work leaves plenty time to reflect, chat with God. In earlier days these chats opened with lamentations about the heat and constant tasks. But God graces peace.

Ultimately, Dad’s tasks need someone to do them. He’s busy working full-time out-of-town, and siblings still have activities they must or would rather do. So I volunteer.

On the other side, Dad at times says he’ll compensate me once the bills are paid. There always seem bills to me, though. Since it’s been three months now, I try to think of this like the Kingdom. Whether or not I see rewards, I try to persevere. I must trust the Father to provide in time, no matter the wait. It’s a spiritual exercise.

Pa says he’s glad I’m financially stable, too—My scholarships, grants and work study graduated me debt-free. Those seem good, I guess.

So, spiritually exercising while laboring, I consider parables of workers in the field and masters. Christ spoke of such. Parables about fields and wages seem more nuanced after feeling comparable questions.

I think, too, to re-education labor camps sometimes. During China’s Cultural Revolution, my mom’s parents—both teachers—were sent to those. So, my ‘toiling’ in Dad’s backyards are surely nothing compared to what my grandparents involuntarily endured. I can bear my ‘shackles.’

These bring me to privilege.

At the day’s end, I have places to stay, food to eat and stable internet. Many Americans and people worldwide face greater turmoil than these, perhaps including you, my reader. So, I try acknowledging my ‘hardships’ hardly compare. I try to focus prayers for the needier. Faith helps me through.

On a happy note, I just reached the Diamond League on Duolingo! So, life could definitely be worse...

The Climb

One day during Week 15 (June 12-18), after Dad came home at dusk from work, he asked me to get out the ladder to climb the backyard tree. I thought that was wistful thinking!

Well, I had the time and realized he wanted me to climb after all. The tree had a fallen limb he wanted me to saw off, since I weigh less than him. I insisted I’d only climb with him around.

Well, he came around.

I ascended and sawed four limbs! Before the climb, we thought I only had to address a single one. But as I climbed for it, I found more. Thankfully, these were thin limbs. Dad gave some advice from below, handed me our hand saw then left me while he took care of other tasks around the yard. I climbed higher, wedged my feet in semi-stable positions and got to work.

Atop, the wind blew, so the tree rocked. I clung high in a swaying tree. Good Lord.

But I felt amazed, handling my saw even with my off-hand. I’d cling with one arm and saw with the other. When branches got stuck, I had to grab them, push and jerk them away from other sections to send them down. Dad had me call out, “Timber!” With the final branch out, I let the saw fall.

Success felt like redemption from that random tree I climbed the first culture-shocked day I returned to Vegas from Mongolia. This time I’d such control. My safety depended on it! Plus, I only grazed the back of my hand, as opposed to gashing my palm like the last time I left a tree. Less bleeding is better.

By the end, my arms and legs trembled, not from worry but from muscle fatigue. Still, I felt empowered. Throughout my childhood, I could never climb a tree. Now I passed the physical I hadn’t expected a month and a half prior.

All told, my climb took just half an hour.

Staying the Course

In a week and a half, I turn 23! So I’ll be one (1) 23-year-old, hehe. Look forward to new reflections on how I’ve grown and changed.

As an extension of my paternal family history projects, I started writing memorable quotes from Dad. My siblings and I wound up adapting these and more into our Fathers’ Day 2020 gift! Dad enjoyed our “Book of the Father” we printed.

Meanwhile, America begins to slightly reopen amid COVID-19 conditions, and the post-solstice summer’s begun. So, I encourage us to, whenever possible, still #StayHome more than usual, wear our face masks, maintain physical distance and of course wash our hands. We’ll get through this.

And I hear some are struggling with loneliness, too—If you need someone to talk to, you can always count on me. It’s among the most challenging feelings, given we humans are social beings staying physically apart. Writing, phoning and video calls help me, at least. Feel free to reach out. I keep you and loved ones in my prayers.

Best wishes, and till we chat again.

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

#Peace Corps #Mongolia #memoir #story #Catholic #God #memoryLang #USA #moving #Las Vegas #Pentecost #faith #Reno #Coronavirus #COVID-19 #hope #summer #StayHome #WithMe #Fathers Day

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chrmiing-arc · 5 years ago

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LIFE AT HOGWARTS

CLASSES chad isn’t a natural academic, he has to pour hours and hours into extra study to stay and O/EE level student, it’s important for him to keep his grades up there he can’t afford to be just average. when it comes to book bashing subjects like ancient runes, history of magic... he’ll spend forever doing extra reading in the library, taking study notes - trying his best to get the knowledge to sink in but he refuses to give up, often leading to late nights spent in the library or being down in the slytherin dungeon until the early hours going over his notes before a test. however, he likes to study at night, after he’s spent time with his friends not to take away time spent with them often leading to long lie in’s on the weekend. despite his lack of natural ability for solely book-based classes ones where practical learning is a key aspect the student thrives, the experience of doing something and having a physical error if being wrong helps him correct quicker, meaning he is able to pick spells, brewing and even transfiguration up fairly quickly.

APPEARANCE growing up part of the family morals were to put as much care into your appearance as you do everything else because it matters just as much, so he does put a lot into keeping himself looking good - priding himself on his appearance. his constant obsession with how he looks gained him the nickname “pretty boy” or “charming” but some would just call it vanity. chad is all about having a well-kept look, tidy, neat.

SCHOOL ROBES for his daily classes at hogwarts his style is neat and he likes to have a professional look to it.

high-end robes from madam malkins.

tight-fitting white linen buttoned-up shirts sith cufflinks, tucked in.

green and silver tie done in the atlantic knot - silver snake pin attached.

sleeveless v-neck with the silver and grey trim.

neat fitting trousers, often with suspenders.

polished black formal shoes.

CASUAL WEAR unlike his school, wear his casual wear is a lot more relax. sweatshirts, hoodies, shorts... smart athletic. after first year his wardrobe quite naturally shifted, the following year the clothes he brought with him to hogwarts for his spare time did have the green and grey/silver colour scheme quite clearly integrated. often wearing pricier branded muggle wear. notable items outwith the green/silver scheme:

montrose magpies hoodie and jersey.

his platinum with metallic light blue-faced coming of age watch.

a gryffindor t-shirt with folded sleeves, representing his sister's house.

a silver family crested ring.

GLASSES often he wears contact lens’ (a muggle invention he can get behind) but when it comes to long study hours of just chilling out with his friends don’t be surprised to find him wearing his round gold-framed glasses, he carries them about just in case he ever needs them - when wearing his contacts for any length of time they tend to irritate his eyes and prefers to default to his glasses.

PREFECT it was a surprise when with his 5th year acceptance letter came that green enamel pin badge reading the words ‘prefect’ and outstanding student he was but that didn’t limit his mischief or bullying. his attitude has never been perfect; blood-status mattered, he put people in their place but somehow he had been given the power of a prefect. one he takes extremely seriously, fairplay is important to him and he is not afraid to dock points from his own house for their behavior. shouldering the responsibility he makes sure his house is alright and actively enforces the school rules.

DORM chad’s dorm room is his chill-out place, his small section is the one place that is his and out of habit, it is always well organized and tidy. much like his appearance, he likes a neat look.

BULLETIN BOARD above his dresser, the slytherin has a corkboard he uses to attach little nick-nacks and memories he has gained across the school year and ones that remind him of home.

POLAROIDS one year returning back to hogwarts from christmas break a half-blood friend of his was showing off their new camera, their instamax. now chad had a camera, a bulky wizarding one which he never took with him to hogwarts because of the weight but this small powered thing that printed miniature framed photographs... he was intrigued, perhaps he could try using a solution to animate the images. anyway, that night he wrote home asking his mother to send him one describing it in detail; days later he received it. it took a group for fourth-year students a lot of time and experimenting (many eyebrows were lost in the process) to work out a solution that when the film was laced in would allow for animated photographs. ever since he got it the boy attaches polaroids of his friends upon his board (and one of his family from home). at the end of the year he takes them home puts them in his scrapbook and starts again.

HOUSE PRIDE from the school shop he bought a few slytherin quidditch flags to represent his house, pinning them to the corner of his board.

BEDSIDE next to his bed he keeps his general important items; his wand, glasses, contact solution, timetable, his prefect badge but most importantly is his journal. inside the black leather book is his personal research and notes of importances he carries it with him everywhere noting down things to research or possibilities. without it he’d be lost. protective of it the contents inside is written in invisible ink and can only be shown when a revealer is used upon it, afraid of what friends / enemies might do with his personal contents if it were to fall into the wrong hands he has to have it by his side always.

TRUNK sat at the foot of his bed is his trunk, the brown suitcase he would take with him every year to hogwarts. for his first three years going to hogwarts he struggled packing everything into his case - often needing help to force the lid shut. four slytherin first-year boys all leaning on the case whilst the other attempted to close the catch. but one day during his third year the extension charm came up in class, sigh hit him as he paid attention - where was this in his first year? days he spent in the library doing his research on it; how to use it, how to manage it. and once he felt well equip with the knowledge thus came his attempts. once a miscast had made the interior completely disappear a second attempt did extend the space but to a smaller limit, taking a break - a few days to collect himself and run by his research with a friend, a few corrections where made and on the third attempt it worked. inside his extended case is organized by use. school items, quidditch gear (watch the quaffle), his dress robes and books. everything has it’s place and belongs somewhere.

RUMOR HAS IT there are plenty of rumors that fly about the hogwarts halls about the all-star quidditch player. ranging from that his charm is said to even challenge that of a veela to one that he got offered a quidditch contract at 13, none of them are true but he fuels the rumors finding them hilarious.

THE CASTLE as he got older sneaking about the castle, finding hidden spaces and empty classrooms became a regular occurrence. the teenager had to find quiet places so he could grab quiet moments with people - away from others eyes and this led to the discovery of disused classrooms, hidden passageways behind tapestries and even forcing him to get one or two portrait passwords. over his collective years chad has comes across quite a few hidden places in hogwarts useful for a quick moment away but he has far from discovered everything the school has to offer.

HIS CAT the black cat that crossed his path, lucifer - the small fluff ball is one of his weaknesses, truthfully the slytherin would lie in the common room wrapped in his hoodie petting his cat all-day. he’s his companion, he has a tawny owl to send letter but lucifers the one that sits at his side whilst he studies or hangs out with his fellow slytherins in the common room. lucifer isn’t the brightest cat, and gets himself into a few sticky situations - like trying to eat tongue tieing taffy but it puts a smile on chad’s face and reminds him a bit of himself. he’s a loyal companion, attached and always loves people petting him.

THE WIZARDING WORLD

THE COLLECTOR one of chad’s most prized possessions is his chocolate frog card collection. ever since he was a young boy he loved collecting the cards, the first time he got one was a day he was visiting his father at the ministry with his mother and as a treat she bought him one from the ministry shop. At first he was more interested in the chocolate wanted to see the frog come to life before he took a bite yet after sharing the frog with his mother she handed up down the card, frowning he took it in hand. Balfour Blane stood in the frame, he was in awe of it as they made their way home that day and when he got home he asked his mother to read it to him which she did. For days he was just so captured by the card.

CHOCOLATE FROG CARDS over years of collecting chocolate frog cards he has amassed knowledge on some seriously famous magical beings that appear on them, they sparked his intrigue and when he gets a new one he tends to do his research on the person on it, educating himself of what they actually done in case it comes in hand.

CHARM SCHOOL being a pure-blood he didn’t attend muggle school, instead, he was taught the basics of both english and mathematics from home that was until aged 7 - in the years running up to when the wizard would attend hogwarts he was given the chance to go to charm school to practice magic and learn the art beforehand. naturally, he snapped it up and went every day to the small school in london where he studied charms and theoretical magic until he was 11 where he would then continue his studies at hogwarts.

INTERNSHIPS after taking his OWLS at the end of 5th year every following year chad takes an internship out at the ministry, spending his summer working for experience. the jobs aren’t always fun or well paying - he’s an intern but at moments where he is given a chance to learn hands-on or shadow someone doing work he is ready. more featured in his word document.

FLYING a natural ability of his, being up in the air is a place he feels comfortable and likes to spend a free period playing some four-a-side quidditch with his friends. he is, however, a complete show-off and tried to copy the moves featured inside quidditch through the ages without any preparation which leads to near injury most of the time.

BROOM a firebolt supreme, relatively new - tucked by his dresser in his dorm is well kept and looked after. he has a kit that he uses to keep the bristles in order and polish it. the night before every game he sits on the floor of the dorm with his black leather, broomstick servicing kit going through all the steps so it is ready for the game.

QUIDDITCH from his third year onwards he was a first-string player for the slytherin quidditch team, a talented chaser who thrives in the team environment. originally he thought maybe he could be a chaser he was quick, agile on a broom - calculating and he with practice he could have but when he got his hands on a quaffle it didn’t take long for it to feel right. passing it, catching, weaving his strengths came into play and that’s how he secured that spot and the number 23 on his back.

TRAINING chad takes his quidditch training extremely seriously; always early for practice, takes morning and evening run down by the black lake - taking notes off his teammates and making corrections. if he is to go professional like he wanted to do he knows he would have to put all of his will into it and he does. when the team meet he is always willing to put forward play strategies or suggest tweaks. no matter whether their meet is for; practice, strategy talks or team work out he is always there giving it his all.

PRO-QUIDDITCH ever since he saw his first quidditch game he had his heart set on going professional, he would do whatever he had too to get there but as he got to his senior years he found himself being talked around to doing a job at the ministry - a sure-fire job with his grades. during his seventh year he did play in a semi-professional quidditch league and loves every second of it even getting an offer after graduating to play for them, however, he turned it down in order to pursue a career in the ministry in the office of magical sport.

#tw long post #♚・ ❛ nitwit blubber oddment tweak ❜ ⟶「 hogwarts 」・✦#/ um biggest list of pointless miniheadcanons and explanations.#/ id put his relationship stuff in here but um no seperate post.#/ chad takes his dress robes with him every year in case he wants to take his s.o out on a cute date in hogsmeade. thats t.

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onethrills · 6 years ago

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( KIM TAEHYUNG. DEMIBOY. ) Rumor has it that ( SEJIN HAN ) has been spotted skulking around New York City streets recently. ( HE/THEY ) is/are a ( 23 ) year old ( VAMPIRE. ) They have a good reputation for being ( EMPATHETIC & CREATIVE, ) but have also been known to be rather ( ANXIOUS & SELF-DEPRECATING. ) They’re known for being the ( HORROR ENTHUSIAST. )

Childhood/Adolescence

Sejin was born in a small town in California to two people who could not have been less alike. His mother, a stage actress and most definitely the more theatrical of the two, was oft times gone, leaving him to be taken care of by his accountant father and spend the majority of his earlier years with the man.

When Sejin turned five, his mother woke him in the night, the urgency in her expression and her voice alarming him in his half-awake state. He remembers crying as he clung to her, not knowing what was going on, and her hushing him until he quietened down. She carried him through the dark hallways of the only home he had ever down, a little backpack slung over his shoulders, holding some clothes and his favorite plushie. She didn’t explain anything to him then, and as he got older and that whole night became hazier, he only ended up with more questions.

‘Transient’ is the only way to describe the lifestyle they lived from there on out. Every time they would settle down in a town for a month or more, and Sejin would get used to the school, get used to his new friends, they ended up moving again. It wasn’t until his young teens and he started working within the theater communities his mother would integrate herself into that he found out why that was, after witnessing one of her meltdowns when she wasn’t appointed the lead role in their production.

This wasn’t the first time Sejin had begun to realize his mother was a less-than-responsible person, but it was the first time he bore witness to just how far that seemed to go.

As he grew older, he started taking on more and more responsibilities, the jobs that he’d do around the theaters evolving into something a bit more sustainable. His interest in makeup started at a young age and only grew as the years went by, until he was appointed as an assistant to near every makeup artist from every theater he and his mother would drift through. He ended up having an online presence, often uploading YouTube tutorials of the different looks he would do, and from there his skill was only honed, focused.

Horror has always been a sort of escape for him. His macabre fascination with the genre began at the mere age of eight, when he saw his first made-for-TV scary film, and he jumped into it head first from there. It didn’t take very long for him to go from production makeup and ‘looks of the day’ to gruesome, gory monster faces and prosthetic’s. His creativity flourished, and his passion became clear --- if only his mother were stable enough to give him a foothold towards what it was he actually wanted to do.

Fast forward to age eighteen. It’s been years of him looking back on his earliest memories, on the loving warmth of his father and the absence of his mother, and years of him asking her what happened that fateful night when she spirited him away. Years of her avoiding the question, avoiding giving him details, avoiding anything and everything aside from telling him “your father left us.” It never made sense to him how things could go cold so easily, how the man who had always given him so much love, so much affection, suddenly no longer wanted him anymore. Answers are what he needed, what he sought, and once he was old enough, his mother could no longer stop him from seeking them.

Sejin was just past his eighteenth birthday when he finally found a number to call, an address in a different country, and various news clippings and missing person reports that made him feel so numb inside he wasn’t sure if he would ever feel again. As it turned out, it wasn’t only his mother’s aversion towards taking a background role that caused them to move around so much as he was growing up, and after the third or fourth time he saw his own five-year-old face looking back at him from a computer screen in a library he’d never set foot in before, he felt so sick he had to run.

Confrontation had never been his strong suit, and he had the tendency to avoid it like the plague whenever the necessity came up. That day was no different than any other. He drained the money from his bank account, packed up his various makeup supplies, his clothes, and the other few meager belongings he had, and he fled.

It turned out that night was the worst night of his father’s life, and it turned out that it was the worst night of Sejin’s, too. His mother had taken him. Taken him so that in the morning when the light shined in on his bed, and his father came to wake him up for school, there was no trace of ether of them left to be found. To this day he doesn’t know her motivations, the ‘why’ of it all, but nor does he want to know about them either. There’s nothing that she can say to him that will justify what she did to him, not just in kidnapping him, but also in the incredibly damaging way she had raised him.

When he ran from her, he never looked back. Only forward. Only ever forward.

Early Adulthood

Getting in touch with his father was as easy as breathing. The moment he picked up the phone and Sejin heard that familiar voice, his throat closed up and tears flooded his eyes. International charges be damned, they both spent minutes of that call in silence, just crying together when they couldn’t articulate the right words, with his father repeating to him over and over that he never stopped looking for him. Sejin believed him.

A couple days later, and Sejin found himself on a plane to London, where his father had moved to be with his now-wife some years ago. He was welcomed into the family with open arms, finding out all in one day that he had a loving step-mother and two smaller siblings who would look up at him with wide eyes that matched his own more closely than he ever thought possible.

It was in this environment that Sejin finally felt himself begin to grow into who he was supposed to be all along. Being given a healthy and stable place for him to explore who he was happened to be what he needed to discover that person, and everything from questioning his gender identity to his sexuality was accepted wholly and completely by the people who actually loved him.

Of course, even this couldn’t fix everything that had happened to him, and he bore so many barely-healed scars that it took a long time for him to be capable of seeing past them enough to accept the reality of him. It also took outside support, predominantly from one person in particular who turned out to be his soul mate.

Bell was everything that Sejin ever wanted, and everything that he felt he couldn’t have. They were fast friends from the second that they met, and though his crush didn’t take long to develop, it never fully went away either. They became inseparable, supporting each other in every way they knew how, through thick and thin, and Sejin loved, loved him. Loved him a lot. He’d never had a friend like him, and he didn’t think he’d ever find one quite like him again.

With his YouTube channel and Instagram taking off, Sejin finally found himself a stable job doing makeup in a theater nearby his father’s place. It was the first time he’d felt a real sense of community, of acceptance for who he was, and he melted into it like it’s what he needed all along. Happiness didn’t seem so far away during those early weeks, those months, and that went especially so for when he and the lead actor in the play started seeing each other after hours, once everyone else had gone home.

The affair was passionate, romantic, and Sejin’s heart was just naive enough to take it at face value. They couldn’t be open about their love because he (the other person) was closeted, and accepting that wasn’t a hard choice to make. What he didn’t expect nor accept was the one night that they got caught in one of the dressing rooms, his own clothes half-way off and his lips swollen from kisses, by one of his partner’s friends with their phone out and their camera app open.

As it turned out, that particular friend of his had already seen them together once, and in order to preserve the “reputation” of the lead actor, they both had constructed this plan to humiliate and exploit/blackmail Sejin into not spilling the nature of their relationship to anybody else. It felt dirty, made him feel dirty, small, destroyed. They looked at him like he didn’t mean anything, and they spoke to him like he didn’t mean anything, too. While that wasn’t the first time he started to believe that about himself, it did begin to hammer the point home quite thoroughly. Sejin quit and never went back.

From there on, he had a long string of failed relationships, of hook-ups, of men telling him that he was only worth a night in the sheets, and of him believing them. He became closer to Bell, the only person in the world who could possibly understand what he was going through, and he clung to the happiness that he found with his family as being the only thing that he really needed.

Around age twenty-one, his Instagram had taken off enough that when he put his resume out there to various film and television production companies, he actually began to get jobs. He worked mostly as an assistant at first in cheesy B-movie horror films, and sometimes on television series as well. It felt fulfilling, like he was finally on the path to where he wanted to be.

Then Bell disappeared.

It was something that happened all-at-once, so suddenly he was in shock, and every attempt to look for him came up fruitless.

Currently

The last place that Sejin had known Bell to be was New York City, so after some time passed, he packed up his bags and set out to look for him. His efforts seemed to be in vain, however, and even after almost a year of searching, he kept coming up with nothing.

That was around the time that he met Valentine.

There was something acutely alluring about him to Sejin, something that drew him in more than anyone else had in this entire city, and a sort of infatuation began to develop on his end. From the way he dressed to the otherworldly grace with which he carried himself, everything about Valentine made Sejin want to be close to him, to get closer to him. He became sort of attached when, contrary to what he had been led to believe he was good for, Valentine made it quite clear that there was no desire in him to use Sejin for sex. He was just unlike every other man that he’d ever met, and even his speech patterns were enough to make him want to listen to him all day and all night.

It was funny, then, when Sejin found out what he was, and it wasn’t even the least bit surprising for him to fit those pieces into place.

Vampires existing should’ve caught him off-guard, should’ve made him absolutely lose it with the improbability of it all, but instead it just drew him in more. There was no fear in the way that he looked at him, no guarded expression, nothing that would indicate he was in any way hesitant to remain with him, around him.

Asking to be turned wasn’t a difficult decision for him to make, even knowing that he would give up the sun. Even knowing that there might be nothing left for him in the human world after that. It just felt... right. Like the right path for him to take. He was born to be a vampire, as he put it, and as it turned out, Valentine agreed with him.

Quick Facts

Sejin was turned by Valentine around the first of August, 2019.

Forever 23-years-old.

Demiboy (he/they, please).

Gay.

Makeup artist who thrives predominantly on Instagram and YouTube.

Speaks in a very flat voice 9/10 times, far too dramatic, emotionally vulnerable despite how much distance he attempts to keep between him and everyone else.

Pretty much exclusively dresses in black.

Bottom lip piercing and three ear piercings.

Lives in the manor with his sire and all of the other little vampies who drift in and out.

Knows very little to nothing about the war or about lycans in general.

He is babie.

Hmu here or on discord if you wanna plot!

#underworldshqintro

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mrjoelgarcia9 · 6 years ago

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Let’s Talk #Disney’s #BeautyandtheBeast: Belle’s Magical World

When it comes to Disney’s Beauty and The Beast, fans are aware of either the original film, the live action remake, or even the former’s Christmas sequel. However, most may not be aware of the animated franchise’s second sequel.

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It is not a film.

For a review of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast: Belle’s Magical World, feel free to keep reading. There will be spoilers.

Belle’s Magical World is a series of shorts lazily compiled into an hour and a half “film”. Supposedly, the shorts were originally episodes of an animated series that never aired. It is especially obvious by the animation, formulaic stories, and nonexistent ad breaks.

Continuity-wise, it takes place after Belle decided to stay but before she went back home and told Gaston and the villagers about Beast.

Interestingly, this is Disney’s only direct-to-video sequel to have an extended cut. When first released in 1997, it consisted of three shorts. The 2003 “Special Edition” DVD integrated a fourth short into the re-titled “film” Beauty and the Beast: Belle’s Magical World.

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The shorts are presented with the cheapest of transitions. The “film” opens with a CG sequence of a book coming out of the Beast’s library. Each short is introduced with a title highlighting a main character. They all begin and end with monochrome page turns.

The four shorts are as follows:

The Perfect Word: Belle and Beast argue and three new (annoying) characters try to resolve the situation.

Fifi’s Folly: As Lumiere does everything to impress Fifi, she thinks he is cheating on her with Belle.

Mrs. Potts’ Party: Mrs. Potts feels gloomy due to the weather, so Belle decides to cheer her up by secretly planning a party with the rest of the castle while also making sure not to wake up Beast. This short was originally presented in the 1999 spin-off film Belle’s Tales of Friendship and subsequently included in the Special Edition.

The Broken Wing: Belle saves and secretly cares for an injured bird.

The shorts are very formulaic, especially by how they can be best summarized within a single sentence. The predictable conflicts feel like they were taken straight out of a corny sitcom. The only thing they lack are a laugh track.

The new characters introduced continue the franchise’s trope of living inanimate objects, yet were all far too annoying to tolerate. The worst of these new characters were Chandeleria the chandelier, Chaud and Tres the bickering oven mitts, but most especially Webster the dictionary.

Considering its origin as a failed TV series, the animation is reminiscent of Disney’s TV adaptations of Aladdin and The Little Mermaid. It is not as bright and colorful as the first film but decent for a TV show, although there are obvious errors (such as this infamous one involving Belle).

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This “film” is reminiscent of a later direct-to-video sequel Atlantis: Milo’s Return, a similar compilation from an animated series that never got to air (for different reasons). Despite that sequel’s many problems, such as turning Atlantis: The Lost Empire into a Scooby-Doo ripoff, at least it had fully animated transitions with a narrative.

There are a few bright spots with this film. Most of the cast reprise their roles, with the exception of Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Potts. The actors clearly try their best with the terrible material they were given. Jerry Orbach’s Lumiere had some of the film’s only funny lines, Anne Rogers did a good job mimicking Lansbury, and Robby Benson hams it up as Beast .

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Belle’s Magical World is clearly Disney’s worst direct-to-video sequel. Some of their other bad sequels, such as Mulan II or The Fox and the Hound II, at least have the bare minimum of a main narrative. This “film” was just Disney trying to make some money off a Beauty and The Beast TV series that never even got to air. It may also be the reason why the sequel has never been released on Blu-ray. The aforementioned sequels, and The Return of Jafar, all received Blu-ray releases. It was not even re-released when the remake came out.

Unless you want to complete your Beauty and the Beast collection, or see the disaster, skip this film. It is not worth looking for the out of print DVDs either at a Goodwill or swap meet. Wait to see it whenever it airs on TV or becomes available to stream on Disney+.

Beauty and the Beast: Belle’s Magical World is available only on VHS and DVD. The original cut is only available on the 1997 VHS, while the Special Edition is available on both the 2003 and 2012 DVDs.

Until next time, thank you for reading!

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darkpaladinchris · 6 years ago

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Of PMA and Pancakes, Ch. 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters. All rights belong to our lord and master Sean William “Jacksepticeye” McLoughlin.

Summary: Anti is used to having it easy. Outside of doing videos for Jack, he has no life. But when an accident happens while everyone is away, how will Anti react to having a huge responsibility shoved on his shoulders? Will he crack under the pressure? Or will he grow closer to one of the only beings in the universe he can bring himself to harm? Read to find out. This is my first fanfiction. Let me know what you think. No flames please.

Normal speech

Anti’s thoughts

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Anti woke up this morning looking forward to the next couple of days and began going through his morning routine of push-ups, VR knife target practice, showering, and cleaning and checking his neck scar.

I’m glad this thing finally healed, but I’m almost going to miss it. With all the time I spent in Schneeps med lab and Marvin’s library trying to get it to heal the three of us really bonded, compared to when I first showed up and Sean accidentally stabbed Gerald the pumpkin in the head. Poor guy thought he was going crazy. Not to mention the others looked like they wanted to immediately murder me.

Leaving the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist, Anti went to his dresser pulling out an outfit for the day deciding on wearing his usual black pants with the first, and only, Christmas gift he had ever received which just so happened to be an Overwatch shirt with the character Reaper on it that was given to him by Sean. His outfit decided, Anti proceeded to get dress and set about making breakfast for himself, deciding on pancakes while also thinking on what to do with his time the next couple of days.

With Sean in L.A. and no filming for any of the egos planned, the boys had all decided to follow Sean’s lead and take some time for their own lives. Schneep had gone to attend a medical conference in Australia and wouldn’t be back until next week. Jackie and Marvin were in London for the weekend, touring the city, visiting Signe, and attending a showing of Wicked at the Royal Albert Hall and weren’t set to return home until Sunday. Jameson had gone to Ireland with a local animal organization to help at a fundraiser for the local dog shelter as well as oversee the opening of the second site of his new antique store and didn’t know when he would return.The whole process had thankfully been made easier by the fact that Marvin and Schneep had finally found a way to allow Jameson to physically speak.

Sean had obviously been on tour for a while and was currently finishing up his much needed vacation in L.A. The YouTube creator had become so overworked and mentally unstable in the weeks before the start of summer that even Anti himself was encouraging Sean to take some time to himself and to go visit Mark, Ethan, and the rest of his friends in L.A. if only to reduce everyone’s stress levels, especially Chase’s.

I keep telling Sean he needs to take better care of himself. Then again maybe pranking him with multiple nightmares of walking in on Jackie and Marvin defying gravity together was a little to much.

Having thought of Chase Anti’s thoughts turned toward the bro average star and all he had gone through over the past few months. The poor man had it almost as hard as Sean. Chase had gotten a call from Angus, Stacey’s new husband who also happened to be a survival trainer in the American armed forces. This was no surprise to anyone since when Angus had first called, he explained that even though it seemed Stacey wanted to keep Chase as far away from their kids as possible, Angus felt Chase had a right to know how they were doing and had started calling Chase around the start of first segment of Sean’s tour. Angus would call periodically since then to inform Chase of what they had been up too, sometimes even sending him pictures or videos of the kids which everyone could tell Angus had been careful to ensure Stacey wasn’t in any of them. It had even been on the second or third call that Chase had learned that a couple months after Angus met Stacey she had birthed a third child, a son named Trey. It didn’t take long for the men to put two and two together and figure out whose son Trey was. According to Angus, at 19 and attending college Trey was “exactly like his father”.

Sadly the most recent call two months ago hadn’t gone so well. According to Angus had called two nights before Sean left for L.A. and informed Chase with some bad news. Apparently one of the girls hadn’t been feeling so well and asked to go to the doctors. What Angus told Chase next was so shocking that he would have fallen down the stairs he was traversing had Sean not caught him. Chase later explained to everyone that Stacey had been diagnosed with leukemia. Thankfully they had caught it early on though and thus treatment had really good chances of succeeding according to the doctor. Sean had immediately made last minute arrangements for Chase to come and stay with him while in L.A. so that he could be close to his family whilst Stacey went through treatment.

Anti gave a small chuckle at this thought.

Even after all that she put him through, he still cares for her.

Since then Chase had checked in periodically with the others to inform them of what was going on. He told everyone that all the time he spent in L.A. finally forced him and Stacey to work out their problems with some help from Angus. Though things would never be what they once were between the two, they had both agreed upon staying good friends and keeping in contact with each other more mainly for the benefit of the kids. During this time, Angus had also taken Chase to the college in California where Trey was currently attending school over the summer to become a forensic scientist for law enforcement. Though a little unsure at first, Trey finally opened up to Chase after a couple of hours of them talking, eventually breaking down in his father’s embrace from emotional stress of worrying about Stacey’s condition and his sisters.

I swear Chase can make anyone break down in his arms crying. Heck, he’s even had me bawling into his shoulder a few times back when my neck was still freshly sliced, not to mention when Schneep and Robbie made me believe that I actually killed Sean when we filmed the Kill JSE video. Anti smirked a little at this thought while flipping a few of the pancakes as his thoughts returned to the recent developments Chase had told them all about.

Over the weeks Chase told everyone how he had spent more time with Trey, being the father to the boy he always wanted to be ever since he learned of the kid’s existence, and spending more time with his daughters. At the insistence of Stacey and Angus, after having told both father and step-father to do as much as they could to keep the kids from worrying about her, Chase took Trey and the girls to the beach for Fourth of July where Chase learned just how much like him Trey was. The boy was almost Chases equal when it came to being a daredevil, even showing his knack for surfing by doing multiple backflips on his board while riding a few waves. It was also that day that Stacey told Chase over video chat who one of their children’s role models was besides Chase himself. A few weekends later around the start of August, Stacey was given a clean bill of health to which the whole family went out to dinner to celebrate both that and Trey’s birthday. Unbeknownst to Stacey and the kids, Chase and Angus had made a call earlier that day, and when they got to the restaurant to the girls excitement and Trey’s bewilderment, they found waiting outside to meet them none other than Sean who Chase introduced as his friend and business partner. Later in the evening Sean, Angus, and Stacey surprised both Trey and Chase. Sean had apparently worked some magic and got the pair two VIP All Access Passes to PAX West in a couple of weeks. Chase’s latest call to Sean and the egos a couple days ago had him describing all of the fun Trey and him had at PAX. In addition to that Angus and Stacey joined in with Chase in telling Sean and the egos that at the end of the year Stacey and Angus were going to be moving to Brighton due to Stacey’s job. Due to Angus’s work with the armed forces, he would be allowed more leave to spend time with his family and take care of the kids, but would still be gone months at a time. As a result Angus and Stacey had both started working on getting part custody of the children back to Chase so that they could have some one they trust watching the kids while they were away. This would prove to be difficult however since not only had Stacey been on a rampage when she claimed full custody the first time and wanted to make it next to impossible for Chase to fight the court order, but they were all worried that Chase’s recent past as an alcoholic would complicate matters even more. When they mentioned this Anti merely snapped his fingers announcing, to everyone’s surprise, that any records of Chase that would complicate the matter had just been deleted from all global databases. Knowing the general scope of Anti’s powers, Sean and Chase told everyone to just drop the matter before either anyone could ask any questions.

I hope everything goes well with their case, Chase really deserves this win. Anti then poured himself a glass of orange juice, picked up his plate of pancakes that he had just doused with syrup and proceeded to the living room where a large 48 inch 4k plasma screen television, which somehow was a gift from a group of super fans at one of Sean’s recent shows, awaited him. Just as he was about to sit on the sofa, Anti paused for a second before setting his food on the table in front of the sofa and proceeding out of the living room down the hallway.

“Know what, I don’t feel like being alone today,” Anti spoke aloud to himself as he proceeded towards the elevator that led to Schneepelstein’s lab and medical bay where, unbeknownst to Anti, a certain someone was in need of a little company and PMA.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticegos #antisepticeye #sam septiceye #chase brody #jse community #marvin the magnificent #jackieboy man #henrik von schneeplestein #jameson jackson #jse egos #jse fandom #jse fanfiction

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austenwilliam · 7 years ago

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Pairing: Richard Armitage x Reader

Length: 3313 Words.

Warnings: None

Rating: Fluffy fluff

Disclaimer: I do not own Richard Armitage in any way, shape or form. This is purely for entertainment purposes only. I don’t make any money from this, whatsoever.

Note: This was requested by the lovely @nowiloveandwilllove !

N indicates where the reader’s name goes.

——————————

Buzz. Buzz.

The phone vibrated across the table, notifying its owner that there was a notification to be viewed. Judging by the constant buzzing, it was important. Pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, to busy beforehand to even take notice of her spectacles, she reached a point on her brief where she felt she could stop. Grabbing her phone, she flicked her thumb across the screen, unlocking the device. Beaming at her, encased in a text bubble was a message from Richard. He had sent her a picture of his outfit for the evening, along with a text.

So sharp, bond would be jealous. I look forward to seeing you there. x

N smiled, opening the message to make a reply. Only, another message stopped her in her tracks.

Hello, N. Sorry to be a pain but I need that brief tomorrow morning. The trial date has changed, and they’ve brought it forward to Tuesday. Cheers. I owe you one.

Let down, N looked from her boss’ message to the computer screen. She then began to calculate how long it would take her to finish off the brief, allowing herself time to then shower and change for the Summer Ball Richard had invited her to. She figured that if she could get the majority finished before 3pm, she could then get ready and leave for 6pm and be at the venue for 6.30pm. At a push, N could finish the rest of it when she got home, providing she didn’t drink too much. Perfect! She congratulated herself on her little plan. So far, her boss’ message did little to put a dent in her mood. She was going to the ball, regardless of the sodding brief.

Fingers frantically scattering across the keys, she glanced quickly to the clock, laughing at her in the corner of her screen. She almost felt like it had taken over that damned paper-clip that used to tap the screen, as if to patronise her, whenever she was running a late night to finish an assignment for university. Stupid paper clip, stupid clock! The digits flicked over, flashing ‘15:45’ against the dark background. Dropping her head in to her hands, N groaned. So far, her plan was falling apart. She had a lot more to type than she had expected and already time was going against her. Running her fingers through her slightly oily locks, she took a moment to think. As much as she really didn’t want to, she was beginning to think that the Ball would have to go on without her. He was going to have to enjoy it without her, with other beautiful women, no doubt, too. She huffed and slouched in her chair, staring up at the ceiling and cursing her choice of career.

After years of being buried under dusty, old books and spending hours upon hours of researching critical cases; N wondered if her degree in Law was ever really worth it. It felt like she had gone from being locked in a library, to being locked in an office. The job just didn’t allow her any free time. Fair enough, she earned a fairly hefty wage, but what use was it to her if she couldn’t go out and spend it? Not much use at all!

She was in half the mind to message her boss and tell her where she could kindly put her brief. It was only when she caught a glimpse of her graduation photo, sitting proudly on her desk, that she stopped. Her graduation was one of the most beautiful days of her life, so far. Not only had she managed to survive the three years that was required to gain her degree, but she had passed with a first. What made it better was that her Grandparents were able to make it over, travelling from overseas, to watch her receive her diploma. The photo on her desk was of her, standing in between her mother and her Grandma, their black and white smiles, beaming back at her. Shortly after, her Grandma was taken ill, losing the battle to Cancer. That horrible C word that N would not even wish on her most despised enemy. Kissing her finger, she lovingly placed it upon the glass, above her Grandma’s heart, sending her love to the darling angel.

Before the tears had a chance to cloud her vision, N pulled herself back to the current moment, looking back at the brief that demanded her attention. Picking up her phone, she tried to ring Richard, needing to explain her situation.

Engaged.

Great!

She threw her phone on to the table and got up, in desperate need for a coffee and a moment away from the blinding artificial light of her computer. It was going to be a long night. Stupid brief! She thought, jabbing at the button on her coffee machine, forcefully letting it know that she needed caffeine. The machine answered with a whirr of coffee beans grinding and water boiling. She wasn’t entirely sure how the thing worked, but what she did know was that, that noise was the sound of her desire coming true. In minutes she would have the perfect cup of coffee that would assist her in the long night ahead. Maybe, just maybe, if she pushed another hour, she could still make it. She would just be late.

Cinderella was late, and look what happened to her! She got her man and a kingdom to go with it.

Taking her freshly brewed coffee, N tottered back off to her office, to tackle the nightmare that was the damned brief.

****

Music and chatter blurred in the background, the venue alight with energy, coming from its inhabitants. All dressed in their finest gowns, the men and women enjoyed food, passed around on trays by well trained waiters and waitresses, and champagne that flowed endlessly. Anxiously, one guest checked his watch yet again, perhaps for the third of fourth time in that same ten minutes. His conversation partner began to believe he was boring the gentleman, since it was the second time he had caught him glancing down at his wrist.

It was already half the hour to nine, and Richard was beginning to wonder where she was. If he had his phone, as he stupidly decided to leave it at home, he would have called her. It was not like her to be late, not even by a minute or two. N was a woman that admired punctuality, in her clients, but most all in herself. So, to be over an hour late, was very out of character for her. It made him worry. He was not able to find out if she was okay. Heaven knows what could have happened from her home to the venue. For all he knew she had been in an accident. Suddenly on high alert, he felt he had to get to hers and quickly.

“Yet, why he decided to take the film in that direction is beyond me!” The gentleman continued warbling, even though Richard had not heard a word that he was saying.

Politely interrupting, he told the kind man that he had to go. The gentleman looked a little aghast, that he should be interrupted midway through his annual rant on the direction of his most favourite Shakespeare play. Usually, Richard was one for joining in on such a conversation, an admirer of Shakespeare’s works, but instead he found the urge to leave, much stronger than his want for arguing Macbeth.

Excusing himself once more, he quickly turned on his heal and darted for the exit. Looking, frantically, left to right, he then hailed one of the cabs that pulled up on the drive. Jumping in to the vehicle, he instructed the driver to take him to where she lived, his fingers tapping nervously on his knee. As quick as he had given the address, the driver had begun his journey with haste, taking him to where he needed to be. Luckily, the sudden downpour took his mind off of the worst, the rain drops racing down the window offering him a welcomed distraction.

****

Bang, Bang, BANG!

The noise shook N from her zombie-like state. Her heart stopping, for a second. Hand on her chest, she took a deep breath to get over the initial shock. Who on earth is causing that incessant banging?!

Pushing her chair away from the desk, she got up and cautiously made her way down the stairs and to the front door. She was sure that if the person banged any harder, her door was going to come away from the frame. The door itself was shaking with the ferocity of the knocking, coming from the other side.

“Alright, alright! Sheesh!” She exclaimed, hurrying to take the chain off of the door. Who ever was on the other side had better be prepared for a good knock to the head, for frightening her and for being so noisily insistent. Twisting the brass lock, she pulled open the door, ready to have a go at the other person.

It wasn’t until she had clocked who the annoying knocker was, her anger dissipated, being replaced with confusion and concern. The rain hammered down, leaving a rather drenched man standing on her doorstep, looking rather unamused.

After noticing that she was indeed okay, the lines of worry had fallen from his face, only to be replaced with slight annoyance.

“What the hell happened? You had me worried!” The rich baritones scolded her.

“Did you not get my message?” She offered in reply, wondering why he was so angry.

“No, I didn’t. I left my phone at home!”

“Then how was I-“ She then realised he was still standing in the rain. “Oh, for Christ’s sake Richard, come in before you end up swimming with the fishes!” She pulled the soaking wet gentleman inside, slamming the door shut behind him. Making sure to slip the chain on and twisting the lock, she then turned to her friend.

He stood there, his suit becoming heavier by the minute as it absorbed more and more water. His hair, soaked, caused water to drip in to his eyes and down his face. His shirt, once crisp and white, was now practically see through. The bow-tie, that may have stood proud before the shower, drooped, hanging sadly around his neck. N bit back a giggle, feeling for the poor soul. He then shivered, the cold finally getting to him.

“Come with me, we’ll get you dry and warm.” She motioned with the nod of her head, in the direction towards the stairs.

****

She didn’t have much, in terms of clothing, that he could wear. She was rather small, compared to his towering frame. She managed to find an oversized t-shirt and a pair sweatpants that she had, hiding in the back of her cupboard. There was no shame in it. Whenever N sought comfort, she would always sift through the men’s section for clothes, finding they fit much better. For women it was either, tight or bared a lot of flesh. Oh no, N was a woman of comfort. She spent most of her working day, trapped in a suit of some sort, and heels. All she wanted to do when she got home, was to throw of the restricting outfit and pull on something baggy and warm.

Whilst Richard showered, she placed the clothing just outside the door, resting on top of the wash basket. Socks, sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Looking at her watch, she sighed a deep sigh, running her fingers through her thick locks. As much as she didn’t want to, she had to get back to her work. In all honesty, she was beginning to feel the sting of exhaustion, mostly from staring at a screen for too long, making her eyes a little sensitive.

Plonking back down before her computer, she took off her glasses and sleepily rubbed her eyes. It was probably the worst thing she could do. Once her eyes felt the weight of her glasses come away, she felt like she could easily close them. Folding her arms in front of her, on the desk, she nestled her head on them. The sound of the rain on her window, paired with the dim light of her desk lamp, helped N to drift off to sleep, ignoring the glare of her computer.

****

Drying off his hair with the towel, Richard felt better. He had found the clothes that N had laid out for him. He couldn’t help but chuckle. He had never before met someone so openly comfortable with shopping in the men’s department. Not that he had any issue with it, each to their own. Plus, it was all fabric at the end of the day. He just admired the way she put her own comfort over the need to be fashionable.

He placed his towel in the wash basket and made sure the bathroom was clean, before witching off the light and closing the door. He looked over the bannister of the stairs that allowed him to see the lower ground of her home. He checked for any signs of her pottering around, downstairs. Instead, he was met with darkness. He deduced that she had perhaps gone to bed. It was late after all.

Making his way to her spare room, he passed her office, noticing the dim glow, seeping through the gap in the door. Surely, she’s not still working?! He thought to himself, with a disapproving shake of his head. He knocked on the door, awaiting her to invite him in.

Nothing.

He gently pushed at the door.

“N, don’t you think you should –“ He stopped when he noticed she was in fact, fast asleep at her desk. She looked rather uncomfortable, the way her body was all twisted. She must have been tired, to fall asleep so quickly and in such an uncomfortable place.

Richard looked at the screen, baffled at the endless word count, that made no sense to him at all. Carefully reaching over N, he made sure the work was saved, closing down her computer afterwards. He stilled when he felt her move, a soft moan escaping her lips.

Moving aside all of her stuff, he then looked all about her, figuring out the best way to pick her up. A plan in mind, he gently pulled out her chair and then bent low to place his arm under the bend of her knee. Wrapping another arm around her, he manoeuvred her so that he was sure she would be safe in his grasp. With a mental count to three, he lifted her from the chair and in to his arms. A little clumsy, he stumbled backwards, but was careful to not cause her any harm.

N must have been exhausted as she barely stirred. Her head resting on his shoulder he stole the chance to look at her face.

He believed that people looked their most innocent when asleep. All the worries and stress of life erased, only to be replaced with pure bliss and peace. N was no different. Her long eyelashes rested upon her cheeks, the curls of her hair, framing her face beautifully. He just wanted to reach down and place a chaste kiss upon her forehead, but he felt it was not fair to do such a thing without her permission. She wasn’t yet aware of how he felt about her. He wasn’t sure if she would ever know, as he had the habit of loving from afar. His own fear of his heart being broken, keeping him at a distance.

Gently hitching her up, in his arms, he carefully moved from her office to her room. Laying her down on the bed, he made sure she was covered and as comfortable as he possibly could make her. It was then she stirred, her eyes opening slowly. She looked around and noticed that she was no longer at her desk.

“H-How?” She spoke, her voice laced with sleep.

“I thought you’d be more comfortable here.” His smooth voice was like velvet, sure to make her fall asleep again.

N rubbed her eyes and then it hit her. The brief! Eyes wide she made a move to get out of bed, only she was stopped by a strong hand, pushing her back down.

“But, Richard…” She started, with no chance to finish before he interrupted.

“I think you’ve done enough tonight, N.” He saw the worry line her soft features. He then reassured her. “Don’t worry. Everything is saved and shut down. You need to rest otherwise you’ll burn out.”

“I know. Sorry.” She nodded, she couldn’t argue with him. He was right. She had done far too much in one night. She was ever so tired. “Thank you.” She offered him a sleepy smile.

“Anytime, now get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” He gave her a smile in return, making sure the blankets were pulled up properly.

N then placed her hand over his, stopping them both momentarily. He looked a little confused, hoping he had not done something to offend her.

“Stay in here, with me?” She wasn’t sure where it was coming from, but what she did know was that she wanted him by her side. It had been such a long night, and after causing him so much trouble, she just wanted to stay warm and comfortable with him, in bed.

He wasn’t quite sure how to take her request, his body frozen to the spot where he was standing, feeling the weight of her hand on his. It was only moments ago he was wishing he could do just that, laying with her, hopefully with her in his arms, as they slept.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean too…I just.” She stammered, unable to find her words, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I want you to be warm and also, I don’t want to be alone.” She looked at her blanket, nervously biting at her lower lip.

He said nothing. For a moment he pondered on whether or not it was a good idea. If he lay beside her, he would get a feel of what it would be like to have her in his arms; and he knew the moment he came to be back in his own bed, without her, he’d miss it. Yet, he would be a fool to pass up the chance. Still silent, he moved the covers over to carefully slide in beside her. Already, her bed was warm and the duvet soft and sweet smelling. He could see why she could easily lay in bed all day. It was like a field of pure comfort.

To begin with, Richard wasn’t sure where to put himself. He didn’t want to invade her personal space by laying too close, yet she didn’t seem to mind. As soon as he was covered and laying comfortably, she snuggled close. She fit perfectly in the little nook that his arm created, the one that lay above his head.

“Thank you.” She muttered, her eyes closed once again. He smelt so warm and clean, she couldn’t resist but drifting back in to the land of nod, in his arms.

Whilst it was not said aloud, her actions told him a whole new story. N had opened up to him in a new way, he thought she never would. Not allowing himself to overthink it, he buried himself further in to the mattress, his arm then moving to wrap around her, holding her close. Until the morning, he was going to relish in having her in his arms, sound asleep. When they were both awake, he would then take the chance to tell her about how he felt. Finally.

——————————

@lairdofbrochtuarach

@fizzy-custard

#richard armitage fic #richard armitage fanfic #richard armitage fanfiction #richard armitage x reader #richard armitage x you #reader insert #reader interactive #real person #arwenaminmaeleth #my image edit #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic #fluff #romance

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ratherhavetheblues · 4 years ago

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ANDREI TARKOVSKY’S ‘STALKER’ “Prisoner? I’m imprisoned everywhere…”

Our protagonist, early on in this mammoth undertaking, and en route to a client, protests to an imaginary companion, “My dear, the world is so utterly boring. There’s no telepathy, no ghosts, no flying saucers… They can’t exist. The world is ruled by cast-iron laws. These laws are not broken. They just can’t be broken…” On reaching his customer, there is also a woman, in furs and with a cool sports car. He continues his rant, now addressing her. “Don’t hope for flying saucers. That would be too interesting…”She retorts, “But what about the Bermuda Triangle?” This annoys him. “You’re not going to contradict…” And she quickly declares, “Yes, I am.”/ “There is no Bermuda Triangle,” he insists. “There is Triangle ABC which equals Triangle A prime, B prime, C prime.” She yawns, “It’s all so tedious, so very tedious.” She might have added that it’s all very pedantic. It’s all very pushy, in a thrust that doesn’t yield power. Pedantic, to the point of desperation. Shifting back to his whimsy, he tells her, “In the Middle Ages, life was interesting. Every house had its goblin, each Church a God. People were young. Now every fourth person is old…” The client had placed his hat on her car; and, in the woman’s resenting the protagonist being so adamant, she races away from them, leaving his hat on the roof. That dogmatic display had been mitigated in several ways. Surrealism had landed with the hat. The triad of the Bermuda Triangle was also a breath of fresh air, a visit from a source to be seen soon. Telepathy, ghosts, flying saucers, all in the mix, somehow.

Beginning as we did, there requires now a more complete sense of the crisis. His career of being known as a “Stalker”—a term implying harsh measures—focuses down to his being a sort of pilgrimage tour guide. Whereas such a calling could be lucrative, one look toward our protagonist’s home makes very clear that money is scarce there. His bedroom and kitchen have been reinforced by a living room operating as a public bar. Could that polyglot become a manifestation of the passionate innovator himself? Whereas those typically doing pilgrimages rush to prove how old-fashioned they are, our Stalker finds a market (obviously not numerous) for those with a hankering of the rebellious. The saga of the missing hat would be a case of a lady’s man, a popular, wealthy writer purveying the chic and solid classical rational thought from many centuries ago. That he’s fond of “risk” is one thing; that he’s bought into the ways of the Stalker is a very different thing. The first visitor seen at that surrealist bar is the other client of the adventure, a scientist. Curiosity being smiled upon in that realm, where standard curiosity does not have a hope. Not about smidgens, but a new cosmos. Both would be proud to call themselves skeptics. Both would be impostors.

Insofar as being that, in my view, the core of this elusive film is concerned with a planet of impostors, we will attempt things in the most incisive and compelling way, that being left for the crisis and what to make of it, while beginning with an idiosyncratic triumph which does, in fact, form the ending.

“You came back,” says the Stalker’s wife in a needling way, and in the bar. Where did the dog come from? (He was feeding the dog.) “It tagged along. Don’t chase it away…” Though unimpressed by the new family member, she is concerned that he join her on a walk to carry her crippled daughter, Monkey, needing the elements. “Monkey’s waiting.” (The elements being contaminated by a striking, unabating force.) Mom smoking, pacing the floor of the bar. The two tourists being morose. The smoker asks, “Does anybody want a dog?” The Writer responds, “I’ve got five already…” The dog goes to the girl. Mom says, to the barman, with no enthusiasm, “So you like dogs.”/ “That’s a good one.” The Stalker gets around to, “Alright, let’s go.” The Family Man raises the girl to his shoulders. The Professor/ Scientist and the Writer watch nonplussed. The daughter and her crocheted shawl seem to be a haven. Their arresting and dashing procession, along a shoreline, frees the gala to its simple and graceful height. A ringing sound is heard. Cut to a wooden bowl being filled with milk.

In great contrast to the playfulness, back home the marching man complains to his wife, “If you knew how tired I am… Only God knows… They still call themselves the intelligentsia. Writers! Scientists!”/ His wife says, “Calm down…”/ He insists, “They don’t believe in anything. Their capacity for faith has atrophied.”/ “Calm yourself,” she tells him, in the action of his being overrun by the lack of focused emotional force. Surprisingly, one more room shows up—an impressive library./ “Stop it. Calm down. Don’t worry…”/ By now, he’s lying on the floor. She tells him, “It’s dark. You can’t stay here.” She helps him up. “Take it off,” she says./ Toward the bed, a surreal cave wall, rippled, primeval but also vaguely chic./ She helps him take off his pants. He lies down in their only bed. She touches his forehead. She sits on the bed. She adjusts the pillow. “Calm down. It isn’t their fault. They should be pitied, not abused. Their eyes are blank.” She gives him a sleeping pill./ He perseveres, “Their thinking how not to sell themselves cheap. How to get paid for every breath they take. They knew they were born “to be someone,” to be an elite!”/ She touches his temple./ He says, of them, “You live only once… How can such people believe in anything at all?” (Ambiguity here must be embraced.)/ “Relax, now,” she urges. “Try to get some sleep…” She sponges his face and forehead. “Go to sleep…”/ He argues, “Nobody believes. Not only those two. Nobody” [Tarkovsky, we must account for, could be using “belief” in a rare way]. Then he delivers a prayer. “Who shall I take there, O Lord… The most troubling is that nobody needs The Room [the great delivery of his product]. And all my efforts are in vain.”/ She argues, “Why do you say that? Don’t…”/ He pitying himself, “I’ll never go there again with anyone.”/ “If you want,” she says, “I’ll go with you. Do you want that?”/ “No, you mustn’t.”/ “Why?”/ “What if you fail, too?”

She sits down and has a smoke. She speaks to the void. Their void. Our void. “You know, Mama was very opposed to it. You’ve probably already guessed that he’s one of God’s fools…” (The footprints of Bergman’s theatrical dialogue; and the heavy woolens on her presence, in lieu of heating. As with Bergman’s films, dialogue is crucial in a film like this. Tarkovsky’s pictorial genius does not invite your guesses as to what he might be thinking. The depths of dialogue deliver exactly what he is thinking—a thinking not to be imagined as normal, nor a quick grab. The métier of the business of film-entertainment might as well be tricked up by Shakespearean garb, inasmuch as nothing has essentially changed in essence since more than two thousand years. Bergman and Tarkovsky [along with a few ignored figures hoping to make a change] know of another way, an emotive key having been in a form of long imprisonment. Here we have questionable nonsense; and overrated smarts. Closely following the dialogue is not a choice.) “Everyone around her used to laugh at him. He was such a wretched muddler. Mama used to say, ‘He’s a stalker, a marked man, an eternal jailbird… Remember, the kind of children stalkers have…’”/ “I didn’t even argue. I knew all about it—that he was a marked man, a jailbird, mocked by children. Only, what could I do? I was sure I’d be happy with him. I knew there’d be a lot of sorrow. But I’d rather know bittersweet happiness [pathos, a Bergman specialty] than a grey, uneventful life. (Moreover, far beyond personal distinction, the lift is an uncanny “zone.”) Perhaps I invented this later. But when he came up to me and said, “Come with me,” I went. And I’ve never regretted it.” (At the film’s beginning, she becomes hysterical about his stealing her watch for the current job… You gave me your word. I believed you…) There was a lot of grief and fear and pain. But I never regretted it nor envied anyone. It’s just fate… It’s life. It’s us. And if there were no sorrow in our lives, it wouldn’t be better. It would be worse. Because then there would be no happiness either. And there’d be no hope. So… (a little smile).

Cut to the daughter, reading at a table. (At first sight it seems a Bible. But on closer inspection it’s far from a Bible.) A freight train goes past their window. Flecks of light show up. Monkey’s voice-over, surveying her prospects.) “I love those eyes of yours, my friend. Their sparkling, flashing, fiery wonder./ Where suddenly those lids descend/ Then lightning rips the sky asunder/ You swiftly glance, and there’s an end… (Panning down, she in profile.)/ There’s greater charm, though, to admire/ When lovely are those eyes divine./ In moments kissed by passion’s fire;/ Where though the downcast lashes shine/ The smoldering embers of desire…” (She looks out the window. A pink color in the sky.)

On the table are three glass vessels: her medicine; a tropical fish; and an empty vase. A dialectical site, not as sterile as you might think. The pulsation from a train moves the medicine bottle toward the edge of the table. But the ensuing pause outside allows the bottle to stay in play. A second glass, containing the fish, also stays in play. (She places two fingers toward the window and the pink sky.) She places her head at one side of the table. The third and empty glass, devoid of substance, plunges to the floor. Is it a case of one’s frailty, or a case of one’s dead history? “Then lightning rips the sky asunder…” Is there a way for her to elicit that “greater charm?”A ringing bell. The table shakes, the glasses shake. The train shakes the table. “In moments kissed by passion’s fire…”

Stalker is far from the graces of Monkey. He and his two adventurers show us most graphically that being alive can be already dead. The figure of the Scientist, aka, the Professor, the early-bird, the typical go-getter, gives us a whack of big-reality in the form a Nobel Prize winner. “Was it a meteorite or a visitation from outer space? Whatever it was, in our small country there appeared a miracle—The Zone; imagined to be a singularity. Stalker went to work upon a mystique of that meltdown.

Right from the terminology of Zone, you know embarrassment awaits. In fact, the entire enterprise of that safari is one long episode of the concerns of Theatre of the Absurd. (That being a tonality very useful to the films of Ingmar Bergman, and now dawning upon Tarkovsky. Also, Bergman was not slow to see that Hollywood melodrama had unwittingly taken up an early version of the tendency of bathetic overkill, in many entertainments. The pathos of that moment of Monkey’s day, introduces something very unique.) Whereas the alarm of Theatre of the Absurd would be heavily involved by way of rational (and irrational) analysis, the Stalker’s approach derives from the possibility that, given enough woe, a frenzy of physical action can break through to serious truth. (He being far from coherent, his other notion becomes that when the magic field is found, the hero is given all the joy anyone would need.)

Rounding off the take-off, our two bold candidates declare statements of concern. The Writer admits, “I dig for the truth, but, while I do, something happens to it. The truth changes into a pile of… I won’t say what… I seldom think. It’s bad for me. The Scientist posits: “I’ve lost my inspiration. I’m going to beg for some.

In the course of stealing a side-car to access what is seen to be a magical place, they invade the large railway complex nearby in the Scientist’s jeep. The pollution count provides the making of film noire, but the actions in the railway yard are so hare-brained as to become a parody, a very young children’s entertainment. What does, though, amidst the jeep-hopping tracks and the Keystone Cops, is the intensity of physical motion, driven to crazy ends by the enthusiast, ends with potential, but light-years away. The atrocious dramaturgy opens the door to the realization that the clientele here—and everywhere—are dead in the water. (In the lull of the race, one of them blurts out, “If I don’t come back, tell my wife…” And, “Hurry, for God’s sake! Keep your eyes open!”) Finding this pitch to be only a specialty of the guide, the Scientist tells them, “What I said about going there… It’s all a lie. I don’t give a damn about inspiration… But how can I put a name to what I want or really don’t want. These are intangibles where the moment you name them, their meaning evaporates, like jelly fish in the sun. You’ve seen them around. My consciousness wants the triumph of vegetarianism. My subconsciousness longs for a juicy steak. So what do I want? I want world supremacy, at the very least.”

Having outrun the ruined land, they come upon a vital valley and fresh streams. Stalker feels like flexing the muscles of his arms. “Here we are, home at last!” The Writer adds, “It’s so still.” Stalker proudly declares, “It’s the quietest place on earth. You’ll see yourself. It’s so beautiful. There is no one here. The protagonist quips, “Three men can’t foul it up in one day.” The Writer contradicts, “Why can’t we? Sure we can… It stinks like a swamp…” The guide tells of an earlier client who trampled all the flowers there. As such, here is the point of leaving off the study as an adventure per se, and instead an exposure of the perversity of educated people finding their heavy preparations to be, in the final analysis, a farce. The bizarre and conflicting meanderings have been allowed to run amok in order to illuminate a quicksand having become supreme. Some mad duress by the leader forces the experience to freeze until twilight. In the hiatus, the protagonist going for a walk that becomes a sleep, the Professor ridicules the so-called businessman. “He was in prison several times. His daughter is a mutant, a so-called Zone-victim. They say she has no legs…” There is a cut to Stalker, body and face plunged into thick grasses. Consulting the elements. The Professor had a friend who had an idea the meteorite was a message to mankind… or a gift.

Making a trek into damaged military ruins of a distant war, the invasion had been forced to proceed in single file, as if that war were still in force. Along with the recent attacks of advantage, there was the protagonist, happy to be pushing around a notable physicist and a best-selling novelist, living in a big villa. “I’ll point out the path.” The advertised athletic force is nowhere to be seen, due to keeping up with big-mouths. “I said, don’t touch it! What, are you crazy? I said this wasn’t a place for a stroll… The Zone demands respect, otherwise it’ll punish you… Don’t try anything like that again!” / “Why can’t we go in a straight line. It’s right under our noses.”/ “I’m fed up with you nuts…”/ “Forget it. I’m going my way…”

This skirmish being the opposite of attempting to deliver disinterestedness by way disciplined, dynamic toil. The three of them settling into that what looks like The Three Stooges. Hollywood melodrama early; and Hollywood comedy late. “Keep the last pole in sight. You go first, Professor…”/ “No, you…” / “We’ll go roundabout.”/ “Why?”/ “Here the straight path isn’t shortest. The more indirect, the less risk there is.”/ “Is it fatal to go straight ahead.”/ “I told you. It’s Dangerous.”/ “Is the detour less dangerous?”/ It’s not, but nobody goes straight…”/ “You and you’re detours.…”/ “How about if I just go straight.”/ “Listen you…”/ “It’s risky here, risky there. What the hell… Forget it. I’m going this way…”

Being duped about a childish magic, the buyers recoup what they can. An assault from science: “You’re a fine one, Mr. Shakespeare. Afraid to advance, afraid to retreat…” A response from literature: “It might seem capricious. But at each moment, it’s as if we construct it accordingly to our own state of mind—the states of mind here overlook honest concentration, and therefore we have just another “fabulous” entertainment. The Stalker also finds a statement transcending Stooges. “All of them are death traps. I don’t know what happens here when humans aren’t around. But as soon as humans appear, everything begins to change. Former strengths disappear, new ones appear. Safe ways become impossible. The way becomes more easy, now confused beyond words.”

Making the best, after making the worst, the protagonist also grasps the sense of the capricious. “But at each moment it’s as if we construct it according to our state of mind. I won’t hide the fact that some people turned back half-way. Some perished on the threshold of the Room. But everything that happens here depends on us.” So far the sobriety holds. And now it doesn’t. It loses its purchase upon one’s readiness to embrace the kinetic. “So the Zone lets the good through, and kills the evil.” Stalker is somewhat amenable to revise that position. “I don’t know. I don’t believe that. I think it lets through those who’ve lost all hope. Not the good or the bad, but the unhappy. But even the most unhappy will perish if they don’t know how to behave here.” Pedantry gone wild.

The semi-anarchy holds to the point where more disclosure of the captains of wow can fall down a hole. The fantasy of the Zone allows the two customers some diversion. But it is the poverty of The Scientist and The Writer resuming their feud that matters. The man of science and technology addresses the writer, “You bedraggled hack, you home-grown psychologist, fit only to scribble graffiti in lavatories.”/ The Writer has his own way to portray the enemy’s being needing to be terminated. The ways of history. The Writer laughs, “That’s feeble stuff. Call that an insult?” (Before more childishness occurs, a dog runs their way. It sits with The Stalker. It easily steals the show. But the sensationalists all but ignorance it.) They’ll soon stumble upon, while in their supposed destination, a striking formation of undulating snow-white domain, in the cave being a supposed heaven. They haven’t a moment to appreciate the strange beauty there.) The Writer’s Response: “What are you after?”/ “All right. So I’m after a Nobel Prize. What are you after? Want to bestow on mankind the pearls of your bought inspiration?”/ “I spit on mankind. In all of your mankind, only one man interests me. And that’s me… Coming to the conclusion that his life is “shit,” the popular sweetheart comes to, “Know something, Einstein, I don’t want to argue with you.” This prompts the image-of-steel, to a militant overrun—the only like of, being religion. He concocts, lyrically, the heavens creating the mountains. “And from the wrath of the Lamb who shall be able to stand…. Truth is born in arguments, dammit! Happiness, but what kind of happiness?” The Stalker’s reverie: “And lo, there was a great earthquake…and the sun became black as sackcloth, and the moon became as blood… And the stars of heaven fell into the earth… And they said to the mountains and rocks, ‘Fall on us and hide us from the face of him that sits on the throne’…And it came to pass that Jesus himself drew near and walked with them, but they didn’t recognize him.” Dribs and drabs: “Mankind exists in order to create works of art. At least that’s unselfish compared with other human activities.”/ “You’re unable to think in abstract terms. Why don’t you teach me the meaning of life…”/ “You may be a professor, but you’re ignorant…”

The Stalker will back into something perhaps a little less hopeless. “Now, take music. It’s connected least of all with reality. Or, if connected, then it’s without ideas. It’s surely empty sound without associations. Nevertheless, music miraculous presents your very soul.” (An agency of force. What chord in us responds to its harmonics? Why is this necessary? )

The “climax,” of course, isn’t. The Writer pulls out a gun; and then throws it into a body of water. The Scientist pulls out of his rucksack a bomb. Much Three Stooges. A large, beautiful hawk comes by where they’ve buried themselves in the cave of nothing. The Writer blurts out, “They devour the film in your soul… What kind of writer am I, if I detest writing? I wanted to change them, but they changed me to fit their own image. The Scientist phones his office to divulge, crazy-heroically, that he had taken from the institute his brainwave. The speaker on the line exclaims, “You realize this finishes you as a scientist.”/ Now, having burned his bridges, he brazens, “Go on, do your dirty work…”/ From the zone of the “true,” the former colleague has a familiar good-bye: “I can see you hanging from your belt over a prison latrine.” The gunman could resume his effete vexation. The bomber, however, seems to have taken on a remarkable problem. Desperate ways. His last words to the messenger—”And not for money or inspiration, but to remake the world!—may still be wrongheaded and wrong hearted.

We’ll call it a day, with Algot, the hunchback-sexton in Bergman’s Winter Light (1962), when Tarkovsky was a young, eager learner. Here he saw some real innovative excitement, excitement like what was in store with Monkey. Algot’s discovery was, “that the Bible’s real sense pertains to one sensibility, Jesus, whose sensual virtuosity was never grasped by anyone as realizing that the spirit driving it all has nothing to do with human immortality.”

#andrei tarkovsky

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xtruss · 5 years ago

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‘It’s the New Chinese Exclusion Act’: How a Trump Order Could Hurt California Universities

President Trump's decision to bar some Chinese graduate students from studying here is stirring widespread anxiety among universities, especially in California, the top destination for Chinese students.

— By Teresa Watanabe Staff Wrirwe | JUNE 7, 2020 | The Los Angeles Times

The Geisel Library at UC San Diego, which hosts the largest number of Chinese international students in the University of California system.(Erik Jepsen / UC San Diego Publications)

President Trump’s recent decision to halt entry of some Chinese graduate students to the U.S. is sowing broad anxiety, particularly in California, as universities fear they could lose an essential source of research talent.

U.S. officials say that Trump’s order, which took effect last week, is aimed at safeguarding national security by barring Chinese graduate students and researchers associated with institutions deemed to support China’s “military-civil fusion strategy.” That strategy, the order says, involves Chinese efforts to acquire foreign technologies to advance China’s military capabilities.

In a news briefing last week, State Department officials stressed that Chinese students and scholars pursuing legitimate studies here would continue to be welcomed and that the order will affect only a small number who could be used by the People’s Liberation Army to divert or steal sensitive technologies.

“American universities and research laboratories should not be used to contribute to PRC goals of military dominance,” a State Department representative said.

University officials say that concern about Chinese theft of U.S. intellectual property is legitimate.

Arthur Bienenstock, a Stanford University professor emeritus of photon science and special assistant to the university president for federal research policy, said it was appropriate for federal officials to limit the entry of suspect scholars since universities are ill equipped to screen them.

But universities are deeply concerned that the order could lead to vast overreach, wrongly shutting out students whose work is non-military, openly published and critical to American research efforts in fields ranging from climate change to energy storage.

Trump’s crackdown, they say, could drive away top Chinese scholars and jeopardize the kind of open international collaboration that has been a hallmark of higher education in the U.S., contributing to world-class research and scientific progress.

Universities are waiting for more details on the order from the Trump administration, including which Chinese universities will be covered by a visa ban, but a State Department official said a list would not be published “anytime soon.”

If the list is narrowly drawn to include only institutions directly tied to the military — analogous to West Point in the United States — the impact would be relatively small, Bienenstock said.

But Susan Shirk, a leading China expert with UC San Diego’s School of Global Policy and Strategy, said she and others fear that federal officials could include all universities that receive any funding from the Chinese military, which would potentially sweep in far more students. That would be akin to targeting the many top U.S. research universities that receive Pentagon funding, almost exclusively for non-classified research, she said.

“We’re concerned about a slippery slope here,” Shirk said. “I’m definitely concerned that it would very much discourage talented Chinese students from doing graduate work or research at American universities, which would be very counterproductive from the standpoint of our scientific and technological innovation.”

Shirk and Bienenstock are working with China experts, scientists and others to craft a plan on how to protect U.S. science and technology without jeopardizing America’s hallmark academic openness. Ideas include banning members of the Chinese military from studying here, better training of all international researchers on U.S. research protocols, including conflicts of interest, and robust prosecution of those who violate them.

China has been the largest source of international students to the United States for 10 consecutive years, according to the Institute of International Education. In 2018-19, students from China numbered 369,548 — about 34% of all international students — and California was their top destination.

USC was the leading host campus, but the 10-campus University of California system enrolled about 38% of the state’s 68,072 Chinese international students, who primarily attended San Diego, Irvine, Davis, Berkeley and UCLA.

The order does not apply to undergraduates, who make up the vast majority of Chinese international students, or those pursuing fields not likely to contribute to China’s military advancement. Federal officials have said that areas of concern include artificial intelligence and advanced materials and manufacturing.

Nox Yang, a sophomore from China who is studying sociology and film at UCLA, knows she won’t be directly affected by the order. But that doesn’t make her rest any easier.

She said the new ban adds to mounting stress among Chinese students exacerbated by the coronavirus crisis. Students are feeling isolated, far from supportive family and familiar surroundings, have recoiled at Trump’s references to “the Chinese virus” and are concerned by the rise of anti-Asian hostility triggered by the pandemic.

“It sends out a message: now we are targeting Chinese students,” Yang said. “When I came to the United States, I was imagining a country that is open, inclusive and welcoming, but I’m really disappointed.”

Another UCLA student, a fourth-year doctoral candidate in mechanical engineering, said he and many of his Chinese friends were drawn to the United States by renowned professors, advanced labs and potentially better job prospects than in China. But that is changing, he said, as the political climate toward China gets dicier and visas are no longer assured.

“This policy is very unfriendly to Chinese international students,” said the student, who asked for anonymity to avoid retaliation. “It will hurt their confidence in the U.S. and they may choose to attend graduate schools in Europe, Japan or other places.”

UC student leaders have condemned Trump’s order. “The Trump Administration has provided no credible evidence to justify this unprecedented crackdown on international students,” said the statement by UC Student Assn. President Varsha Sarveshwar and UC Graduate and Professional Council President Connor Strobel.

And Asian American civil rights groups have accused the Trump administration of scapegoating their scholars with unfair racial profiling.

“It’s the new Chinese Exclusion Act,” said Stewart Kwoh, founder of Asian Americans Advancing Justice — Los Angeles, referring to the 1882 law that barred Chinese immigration to the United States.

The Trump proclamation marks the latest crackdown on Chinese students and scholars. In California, UC campuses from San Diego to Berkeley are reporting that Chinese students and scholars are encountering visa delays, federal scrutiny over their research activities, and new restrictions on collaboration with China and Chinese companies.

Last month, UC President Janet Napolitano and all 10 chancellors sent a letter to Secretary of State Michael R. Pompeo and acting Homeland Security Secretary Chad Wolf, asking them to ensure that student visas “are not affected by future executive action” and that visa interviews proceed so students can start their academic programs on time.

Trump, however, caught university officials off guard with his May 29 order that directs the State Department to deny new visas and revoke existing ones for suspect students.

David Ware, an immigration attorney, told a UC Irvine webinar Thursday that a visa revocation should not affect students’ permission to study here, just bar reentry should they leave the country.

UCLA and UC San Diego officials say their campuses have not seen a drop in Chinese international students planning to attend this fall, although final enrollments will not be known for months.

Among UCLA’s 3,300 Chinese students, nearly half of them are graduate or professional students, according to 2019-20 figures. Those pursuing advanced degrees make up about 35% of 5,617 Chinese students at UC San Diego.

“Chinese students, like many of our students ... bring tremendous intellectual power to the institution, make great contributions to the research effort,” said UCLA Chancellor Gene Block. “To the extent possible, we’d like to keep open borders and maintain a rich sort of global presence in our student body ... recognizing that we do understand there are security issues and we have to be mindful of those.”

— Times staff writer Don Lee contributed to this report.

— Teresa Watanabe covers education for the Los Angeles Times. Since joining the Times in 1989, she has covered immigration, ethnic communities, religion, Pacific Rim business and served as Tokyo correspondent and bureau chief. She also covered Asia, national affairs and state government for the San Jose Mercury News and wrote editorials for the Los Angeles Herald Examiner. A Seattle native, she graduated from USC in journalism and in East Asian languages and culture.

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Could Durge’s Star Wars Return Lead to a Role in The Mandalorian or Book of Boba Fett?

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One of Star Wars’ most revered villains from its pre-Disney days of prequel-era stories is poised for a comeback. Durge, the fearsome bounty hunter best known from Genndy Tartakovsky’s 2003-2005 Star Wars: Clone Wars microseries, is set to make his Disney canon debut in the pages of Marvel’s Doctor Aphra #11. And with the upcoming arrival of Tartakovsky’s non-canon Clone Wars series on Disney+, it’s enough to make one speculate that bigger—live-action—plans might be in store for the character.

Durge was indeed immensely popular in the defunct Legends continuity of Star Wars in the early 2000s to the point that Matthew Stover’s 2005 novelization of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith makes direct reference to the character among other notable shout-outs to the events of Tartakovsky’s series. He was one of the most visible characters during Lucasfilm’s onslaught of merchandising during the mid-prequel era, and even inspired multiple action figures made in Hasbro’s sacred 3 ¾” action figure line. Indeed, Durge was kind of a big deal, which makes him the perfect character to manifest in glorious live-action form on either The Mandalorian or The Book of Boba Fett.

Stream your Star Wars favorites right here!

But first, check him out in all his classic splendor, thanks to a cover by artist Sara Pichelli, just below…

Marvel Comics

It may seem surreal to see Durge back in action after the post-Disney deluge of live-action and animated Star Wars offerings, but he was a crucial Expanded Universe villain during the brief era between the release of 2002 Prequel Trilogy middle act Attack of the Clones and 2005 closer Revenge of the Sith. Besides episodes showcasing the superlative abilities of the various Jedi we saw in the films, season 1 of the microseries also popularized Durge and fellow villain Asajj Ventress. However, while the latter—Count Dooku’s apprentice—became a prominent presence in the subsequent canonical The Clone Wars series, Durge got left behind.

Interestingly, Durge first entered the Expanded Universe when he—along with Ventress—graced the cover of Dark Horse Comics’ Star Wars: Republic #52, which was published on April 9, 2003, seven whole months before his debut in the fourth episode of Clone Wars aired on Cartoon Network. The guns-and-gadgets-toting, jet-pack-carrying bounty hunter character may look like a humanoid when covered head-to-toe in his intimidating grey armor, but he’s actually a 2000-year-old Gen’Dai, an invertebrate alien species that resembles exposed muscular and vascular tissue. He’s notably blessed with the formidable ability to manipulate his body to do just about anything, and can regenerate from any form of physical injury (even being blown to bits), save for being vaporized, which was a fate delivered to him in now-non-canon comic Obsession by Anakin, who had to force-push him into a star to get the job done.

Durge’s appearances on Star Wars: Clone Wars.

Durge’s motivation in the initial lore was a deep hatred—fueled over a millennium—for the Mandalorian race, attributed to (as we’d later learn) his capture during the New Sith Wars, a galactic conflict from over a thousand years ago that saw the Jedi and Mandalorians fight against the Sith. Serving as a warrior for the Sith, he was captured and tortured by the Mandalorians, an ordeal that left the Gen’Dai so ravaged it took nearly a century to reconstitute his body, leaving him permanently insane. However, with the population of the Mandalorians having been practically wiped out by the time of the Clone Wars, Durge became drawn to the idea of taking his bitterness out on the closest available thing: the Republic’s Grand Army, which, of course, consisted of clones of Mandalorian Jango Fett. Thus, he took up a contract with Separatist leader and Sith Lord Count Dooku to do just that, and, as famously seen in his Clone Wars episodes, led the Separatist forces in the Battle of Muunilinst, notably in an assault on speeder bikes, after which his odd arsenal and regenerative abilities gave Jedi general Obi-Wan Kenobi an infamously frustrating fight.

So, where would a forgotten early-2000s Legends lore relic like Durge fit in the modern era? After all, A LOT has happened since he last manifested, with the subsequent The Clone Wars series trampling over everything that happened in Tartakovsky’s series. However, with Tartakovsky’s Clone Wars poised for streaming consumption for an entirely new generation of fans on Disney+, the series—and the undeniable badassery of Durge—might not be left forgotten for much longer. Thus, the answer to the initial question is actually quite obvious: Durge can fit anywhere he chooses.

How Star Wars: The Clone Wars Forgot About Durge

By Ryan Britt

How Star Wars: The Clone Wars Retconned the 2000s Clone Wars Series

By Ryan Britt

Durge’s canon debut in Doctor Aphra #11 is rife with unknown variables, including whether this version of the character even fought in the Clone Wars, but that is not to say that the crucial elements of his classic backstory won’t still manifest in some way—he still has to be a bounty hunter, he still has to be a freaky regenerative alien hermit crab, and he most definitely still has to hate Mandalorians. There lies the potential crucial link for Durge in the Disney+ live-action world, which, of course, is rife with Mandalorians. While the task of translating all the weird abilities Durge displayed on the Tartakovsky series would be intimidatingly exorbitant, it could nevertheless become intriguing fodder for a phenomenal climactic onscreen battle—be it against Din Djarin or Boba Fett.

A Durge appearance on The Mandalorian would certainly represent a radical departure from the show’s initial arc, which seemingly came to an end in season 2 when Luke Skywalker arrived to take custody of Baby Yoda. While Din will inevitably reunite with the Force-powered green tyke at some point, the teased arc for season 3 seems to center on his accidental ascension to Mandalorian leadership after wresting the sacred Darksaber from Moff Gideon. While that scenario presents potential problems, since Bo-Katan Kryze initially coveted the Darksaber (and can only legally attain it by taking it from Din in combat), one would think that Din being leader (even temporarily) of a resurgent Mandalorian people would also make him a prime target for a mind-warped, vengeance-seeking Durge.

On another note, Boba Fett’s teased new status as de facto king of the Outer Rim criminal underworld could also attract Durge’s attention, facilitating a similarly-motivated conflict with the eponymous cloned Mandalorian on The Book of Boba Fett. However, this scenario is far more speculative since we still don’t have official details on the show’s plot. Moreover, if that show ends up focusing on the galaxy’s seedier, “scum and villainy” side (which was how The Mandalorian started), then a villain as fantastical as Durge might not be the right thematic fit, at least initially.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

For now, fans (who don’t want to track down the DVDs) can get their fill of Durge’s classic exploits when Star Wars: Clone Wars—along with classic series Star Wars: Ewoks and Star Wars: Droids—joins the Disney+ streaming library on April 2. Meanwhile, Doctor Aphra #11 arrives June 30.

The post Could Durge’s Star Wars Return Lead to a Role in The Mandalorian or Book of Boba Fett? appeared first on Den of Geek.

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ramajmedia · 5 years ago

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Harry Potter: 10 Things About Hermione Granger That Haven't Aged Well

Everyone's favorite witch has developed a few blemishes in the intervening years.

Since the books and movies told the complete Harry Potter story they've continued to be analyzed, puzzled over, and investigated. JK Rowling put in so many layers and themes throughout the series that it is rewarding on third and fourth reading or viewing. However, some elements for certain characters haven't aged as well as others. Between the accuracy (or lack thereof) of portrayals between mediums or simply having modern perspectives reflect poorly on aging ideas, some characters have gone from 'near-perfect' to less-so.

Hermione Granger is still to be admired for all her positive attributes. We just need to be aware that rose-colored glasses shouldn't dismiss her (few and far between) lesser moments.

10 TattleTale

Hermione's strict adherence to 'the rules' as often as not led to her working against her friends as with them. Especially in the early entries, she can't not report anything and everything to the nearest authority figure. Sure, sometimes you need to be the one to blow the whistle if things get out of hand, but she takes it well over the line again and again. Looking back, she is hardly someone you'd tolerate for long. Luckily, that Troll encounter bought her some leeway.

9 Fronoculus Levotus

Emma Watson did an admirable job portraying Hermione Granger, there's little doubt. She delivered lines like "or worse, EXPELLED" with the appropriate haughtiness as they had on the page, but there was one thing that stuck out less well. For the first few movies, you could power a small town if you attached a generator to Hermione's eyebrows as she spoke.

RELATED: Harry Potter: The Worst Teacher From Every Movie

Those things jack-hammered up and down with every other syllable and once you notice them, they're endlessly distracting. She wrangled them in the latter movies, but in Philosopher's Stone, Chamber, and Azkaban, they were out of control.

8 Skipping The Ugly Duckling Part...

Emma Watson isn't to be blamed for this one, but for book readers coming to the movies, it stands out. Hermione was expected to be a bushy-haired, buck-toothed girl, who walked with a self-inflicted hunch due to excessive book carrying. She most definitely wasn't the standard 'Hollywood hottie who doesn't know it'. It turned out they'd cast someone who quickly grew towards beauty and that undercut her written character somewhat. The scenes where Viktor Krum and Cormac McLaggen sought after her removed some of their depth due to her outward appearance. Krum, in particular, lost something because of her obvious appeal circumventing the 'library meet-cute' we heard about in the books.

7 Quidditch Catastrophe

Hermione just doesn't get Quidditch.

Both Ron and Harry express this sentiment throughout their school years. It captures Hermione's occasional weakness where she dismisses some things that are important to others. When Harry receives the Firebolt from Sirius in Azkaban, Hermione is reporting it's imagined dangers to McGonagall with only her hunch as reasoning. At other times she belittles what the lads like because it doesn't matter to her personally. We're holding her to a high standard here, so these moments don't reflect well in hindsight.

6 She's Right. All. The. Time.

Snape isn't a good example to follow when it comes to making friends but he does sum up Hermione, albeit in a cruel way. She IS an insufferable know-it-all, to her detriment, and she can't help but point it out. When the Firebolt is revealed to be from Harry's godfather, after all, she still has to claim that she was right, even if her reasoning for it was completely off base. After their disastrous venture into the Ministry Hall of Prophesies in Order of the Phoenix, despite Sirius' death hanging heavy, she has to mention how she was correct that Harry was tricked into the escapade. When Snape is outed as a literal 'Half-Blood Prince' she still can't bite her tongue. There's more to being a good friend than being the one who can't be wrong.

5 Weasley Usurper

Another one for the book readers, Hermione steals a whole hell of a lot of Ron's best moments and lines in the films. Moments such as standing between her friends and an apparently evil Sirius in Prisoner of Azkaban. That was Ron's moment, doing so with a broken ankle and the courage befitting his Gryffindor house.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 10 Hilarious Voldemort Logic Memes That Are Too Funny

Instead, Hermione receives a few too many of these moments and at a certain point, it breeds resentment rather than admiration. It's even led somewhat to the opinion that she and Ron shouldn't have happened in favor of shipping Harry and Hermione, and that's a fandom-splitter right there.

4 Fortune Telling Is Rubbish. Now, Where's My Magic Wand?

In a series devoted to enchantment and the exploration of a world where anything can be 'more than it appears', Hermione's aversion to prophesy is incredibly off-putting. In the same year as she receives a Time-Turner to facilitate her ability to get to all her chosen classes she somehow can't envision knowing the future? This smacks of limited thinking from someone less intelligent and only book-smart, a far cry from the Hermione we see most of the time. Not only that, she belittles and chides anyone taking that branch of magic seriously. Considering how importantly prophecy plays out within the series, she looks well out of order here. Plus, she calls Firenze a Horse!

3 I Only Believe What I Can Read

Hermione has a detrimental habit of denying anything she doesn't read from a book that's been sat on a shelf for a couple of dozen years. Considering what she encounters (or hears firsthand about) within just her first few years, including Basilisks, Quirrellmort, Unicorns, Dementors, an immortality rock, a diary that can possess people and houses the soul of Tom Riddle, the list goes on, she is remarkably close-minded. It almost seems like she takes up the contrary position purely for the sake of it within the trio. She may know Hogwarts: A History back to front, but has that been updated anytime lately?

2 10/10 Intentions, 2/10 Execution

Hermione isn't one to get an idea in her head and not follow through. Often that's admirable, but when it comes to enforcing your ideals on another species' culture... Yeah, it's a thorny issue at the best of times. When it comes to House-Elves, Hermione isn't up to hearing anything from others who know more or have wider experience than her to draw from.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 10 Slytherin Memes That Prove It's The Sneakiest House

Surely a quick word to Dumbledore or McGonagall to voice her concerns about elvish mistreatment would've gone further and revealed more than her ill-fated SPEW campaign. Even the Weasley twins assurances that they naturally love their role in wizarding society couldn't persuade her to learn more. Not even from her usual trusty resource, books!

1 Sore Loser

Hermione takes a lot of pride in her schoolwork and spellwork and it usually shows positively. The problems arise when she's not 'the best' and she becomes a worse version of herself. When Harry begins using the Prince-altered potions book in 6th year she adamantly won't use any of its advice even while commenting on how good Harry's potion is currently looking. She won't even concede to thoroughly "un-evil" advice like using the flat of the blade to crush out the juice rather than cutting. She even has moments of being put out when it's revealed that Harry continually bests her at Defense Against The Dark Arts. The less said about her jealousy at Ron with Lavender Brown the better as well. These failings bring her back down to earth and make her far more relatable, however, they are still failings.

NEXT: Harry Potter: 10 Hysterical Ron Weasley Logic Memes

source https://screenrant.com/harry-potter-hermione-granger-havent-aged-well/

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