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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 years ago

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r u familiar with the enneagram system? if so, i'd be curious to know what u think dazai, akutagawa, yosano, or anyone else's type is. of course, that's just a suggestion. i really like ur blog and hope life's going well for u.

I am familiar with it!

I'm not a huge fan of it for several reasons that I won't get into here, and as a psychology student I do feel compelled to alert people that tests like the Enneagram and MBTI, while fun, are not statistically valid or empirically grounded, and that I absolutely hate how these kinds of pseudo-psychological tests are still sometimes used by companies in the hiring process. They have no place there.

But, like I said, they are fun to do and I think my young teenage self, who spent literal years trying to rework some of these tests to yield more consistent results when analyzing fictional characters, would like it if I gave it a shot!

I'll do Dazai, Akutagawa and Yosano, and I'll add in Atsushi, Kyouka and Tachihara because of the recent episodes. :)

Dazai: I think he kind of has to be a 5w4. (I hate it I hate it that's my type arghhhh) 5s tend to withdraw and become detached observers - their ideal is to become as knowledgeable, intelligent and competent in their area as possible. The 4 as a wing meanwhile gives this type an emotional underpinning it wouldn't normally have. The 4 wing makes the 5 desire more in the way of self-expression and makes them tend to turn their knowledge and information gathering about people over hard facts. While the 4 might be considered an alternative, as 4s tend to be melancholic and feel separate from the rest of the crowd, it's also too focused on self-expression to be right for Dazai's character. 5s may have similar feelings but they deal with it more by rationalizing these feelings or withdrawing from people. 5s also tend to move towards 7s when under stress or in a bad place, which typically involves frantic attempts at spontaneity or excitement in an attempt to not feel so drained, trapped or incompetent. When in a healthier mindset, they tend to move towards 8, which enables more assertive, leader-like, and protective behaviours.

Akutagawa: I'd say a true 3. 3s are all about achievement, objectives and competency - and about gaining recognition for it. While they are normally characterized as extraverted, I think the core is there in Akutagawa - the need to win above all else, the idea that love and recognition are based on accomplishment, the projecting of their own insecurities onto others. These are traits that are present even in Beast, and likely rooted in his survivalist mindset. Akutagawa will go about whatever means are required to succeed, and he is objective-driven and direct in his ambitions to an almost extreme degree. Under stress, they go to 9, which leads them to stubbornly continue on the path they have set and put themselves under immense pressure without questioning why or branching off to something different, likely out of familiarity with the struggle and a fear of revision. This is quite clear in the main universe, with Dazai's approval being one of the only things that matters to him and making him largely unable to see alternate paths and driving him to reckless action. In a healthier mindset, they move towards 6, which makes them more committed team players. This seems to be where Beast was going, and hopefully we see that with shin soukoku as well.

Yosano: I'd say type 8w9 for sure. 8s are protectors, powerful and assertive to avoid showing weakness or vulnerability. Nothing else really makes sense for Yosano; she's always been an assertive person, and she doesn't mince her words - she likes to get to the point quickly and get things done. She also projects an image of intimidation and doesn't reveal much about herself to her coworkers. The 9 wing brings a more mellow side to the type 8 and focuses their protectiveness more on places of safety - like the Agency for Yosano and how protective she is of it and the people in it! Under stress, 8s move to 5, which causes them to withdraw into themselves as they try to detach from what's going on and question themselves and their usual confidence... yeah... In a healthier setting, they move towards the 2, which enables them to put their confidence and control towards helping those who need it, instead of focusing only on minimizing their own vulnerability.

Atsushi: I waffled between 2 and 6 for him before deciding on 2w1. 2 makes sense with its emphasis on helping others to be needed and building an image of being someone who helps others so they don't have to bother/deal with their own issues. 6s are too suspicious and focused primarily on security to be a good match for Atsushi, who, while he doesn't want to be hurt anymore and loves having a supportive group of people to come back to, is uh. Often very reckless. The 1 wing is that undercurrent of not just doing helpful things for others, but of doing helpful things that are also morally right and just. Underdeveloped 1 can result in some black and white thinking, which Atsushi can be a bit prone to, especially early in the series. 2s can be prone to becoming strongly prideful via their good deeds, but they can crash hard if they neglect their own needs for too long or somehow "fail" another. They are not supposed to be "selfish", and I think we see Atsushi struggle to fit his own needs into his image of the "one who saves others" he thinks he needs to be to be worthy. When under stress, they tap into the sudden aggression of 8, which may cause them to try to exert power to stop feeling vulnerable, but the growth towards 4 lets them explore their own feelings and perceptions to figure out what they actually want.

Kyouka: Probably a 9w8. Kyouka has very simple, straightforward wants and needs - part of the beauty of her character is that while everyone is angsting over big picture things (and she does too, continuously questioning her own goodness and worthiness), she also pretty quickly gets to the heart of it - "the crepe was delicious" "i like bunnies and tofu" - her desires are all simple little things that bring her happiness and give her a reason to fight back. Seeing Kyouka come to life over the course of the series is genuinely one of BSD's biggest joys. 9s are all about comfort, repression of anger, "going with the flow", etc. They tend not to be incredibly assertive, but are supportive and can quickly turn obstinate and quietly protective if their stability and home are threatened. Under stress, they detach, go numb and essentially keep their heads down and do what they're told, which is reminiscent of how Kyouka was so distant at the beginning of the story. In a growth mindset, they move towards the 3, which allows them to actively pursue their goals, not just for others but for themselves. The 8 wing was chosen due to Kyouka's sudden action and decisiveness when someone/something she cares about is threatened - she's less concerned with the morality of the 1 and more about protecting what matters to her by any means.

Tachihara: I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sold on this but I'm thinking a 6w7. 6s are all about the group, and are hardworking and committed types, but also known for being skeptical, uncertain, and questioning. The thing about Tachi is that he's actually a pretty loyal dude, he's just unfortunately attached to two different groups... what's interesting is that the resolution to this conflict is related to his earlier proclamation that "orders make him who he is", and that loyalty to the boss' (Mori's) wishes is a crucial factor in his choice to stay with the Mafia. 6s tend to feel insecure without some stable structure around them and tend to like having some direction from others. At the same time, some of the indecisiveness and uncertainty is alleviated by the 7 wing, which brings a little more impulsiveness and energy to the usually muted 6. Under stress, 6s move towards 3s, which makes them feel the need to accomplish and succeed to "measure up" - I think about Tachihara always being compared to his brother until one day he just gave up. 6s move towards 9s when in growth, and this is at the core of what a 6 wants: they really crave security and belonging, and the 9 alleviates some of the suspicion the 6 carries and makes them feel more relaxed.

#i hope this was fun anon! love to hear your thoughts if you have them #these kinds of things are heavily biased by personal interpretation so if yours differ I'd love to hear #also i did this late at night so I'm not 100% sure this was well phrased but oh well #thanks for the ask!#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd akutagawa #bsd yosano #bsd atsushi #bsd kyouka #bsd tachihara #storyrambles

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faeiapalette · 2 years ago

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This situation has already become a bit tense and despite that, i still want to give my opinion about this because I CAN'T TAKE ITTT—

The truth is, i don't support either ‘side’.

On the one hand, what you mention is true about how some put Ayato on a golden throne where he does nothing and is 'perfect', and i personally don't like that because i mean, then you missed the whole point, bro.

Literally the plot of More Blood was that Yui began to idealize an image of Ayato that was not him.

Why say something like "Ayato-kun wouldn't do something like that!" when yes? even i, as an Ayato fan, recognize it, because i feel that when you want to appreciate something you should do it for what it is and not just for the part you want/want it to be. It's okay to question some things your favorite does, people.

Reject that Ayato possesses his claws like any other character would be to deny him in some way. It doesn't matter if he is the more good, approachable, ‘human’ and cutest —all this said by Satoi— of all the diaboys.

Ayato is sweet, sensitive, funny, loyal, brave among other things; but it's also true that he can be VERY angry, selfish, arrogant, self-centered, dumb... and kind of an idiot, but that's okay! ♡ because in the end it's what makes Ayato... Ayato.

I even make fun of Ayato by calling him my 'pendejo favorito'. /srs

I'm not going to get upset just because someone doesn't like something i do. I don't like Kanato or Shu, and i don't see why someone should throw ugly comments at me because of that, you know?

even if you said —it's an example—: “Ayato doesn't have traumas, that's why he's the most normal lol” like someone i read, most likely i would say something like what a fooool and go on with my life. There's no need to get violent.

And, i also agree in that sense that some say that "Ayato's Route is the only true one", when— then... why would there be the possibility of choosing other boys? It doesn't have much sense, right?

But that's another point i want to get to.

Ayato is the protagonist. He is the main hero.

And it's not because i'm saying it! says Rejet, Satoi and half the japanese community. To deny it would also be like covering the sun with a finger on your part, because he has always been there and it is a fact, there is always a boy who is the main one in all otomes. As everything.

And because of his role, that means he's more connected to the main story and the heroine than the other guys. And it makes sense, Satoi loves Ayato and Ayayui, even mentioned that Ayato and their concept was the first to see the light of day. They have always been the main couple; even in the anime!

I don't know how to explain it—? but they work really well, they have a very nice chemistry and in general, it almost seems as if they were created to be together ♡ even when they are not a couple, Yui loves Ayato a lot and he even helps her in some routes that are not his with her boy, like Kanato and Laito ones.

But that DOESN'T mean the other guys aren't important, not at all. They can be the demon king as well as Ayato in his destined routes and ALL routes are canon in their own universe. They are all important and interesting.

Honorable mention: as an Ayato fan too... i don't think his route in LE has been ‘that’ bad. Definitely being booed so much in his Route was something terrible... but in terms of story, CGA, character development —by Ayato and Yui— it was pretty good. Maybe it's not the best, but it's not the worst either.

Thanks for reading, have a nice day!

Thank you for the opinion 😳! Another calm and reasonable one in a pot full of venoms - that i’m discarding bc i out of patience to deal with people who let their anger blinded them - i must say. Trivial matter, i do love how you could be both reserved, rational and (bubbly? Lovingly?) expressing your love for your oshi. You got him a nickname too! 😆 (i’m still struggling to find mine haha.) Good for you girl, good for you.

About the latter parts, i don’t really have much to say. There’re paragraphs that i agree with, and statements that i don’t. Though i still respect your opinion nonetheless. Last part, indeed! The route makes senses to me in a logical way. That way, it doesn’t appear “bad” to me either. And… that’s it. Have a great day too!

#Anon ask #Diabolik lovers

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caparrucia · 2 years ago

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I do feel kind of stupid for following her for at least 3 years and liking her posts about abuse. What threw me off was her inability to accept critism from Jewish persons about something they are educated in. Then her inability to accept corrections about translations from native speakers (she ranted that she wanted to delete the whole chapter/part of OalC etc instead of using the fact that there are probably several followers that would have jumped for her to translate some sentences) (sorry for being anon and a big thank you for putting the whole AO3 post thing into simple language to show her workings)

So like, my thought is... I don't think you're an asshole, for not knowing someone's an asshole, if your first interaction or introduction to them was them not being an asshole.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong in admitting you found value in her work or her posts at some point. The idea that "she's always been bad and everything she touches is tainted and bad actually" is a little purity culture kinda thing, y'know? Like, it's a nuanced thing. People can find value in her work or find it significant or important, and that doesn't excuse or minimize her bigotry.

To me the thing is, once you learn someone's a bigot of that caliber or you learn they're an abuser and their victims have come forth? Then you're kind of making a statement if you continue to unquestionably support them. It's one of those things that you can't not make a statement, once you know about it. You can't claim ignorance of it. And a lot of people get really angry when that happens, because the knowledge is a burden. The knowledge ruins things they used to enjoy, they've got a self-image that dictates they're not the kind of person who supports bigots or abusers, so to find out they've been doing it up to that point is very upsetting. And the thing is, knowing the creator is a bigot doesn't immediately make you dislike the work. It's just heartbreaking, this knowledge that now stains something you used to love and care for. Something meaningful to you has become tainted, and there's a weird mental pirouette where people wonder in horror if that means it has tainted them too, because THEY found it meaningful and what does THAT say about them.

I think that's normal in so far that's how people who don't deal with bigotry aimed at them very often deal with the fact that "real" bigotry isn't the same as "textbook" bigotry. In reality, bigotry is messy and gross and awkward and it's everywhere. And if you've made it a fundamental pillar of your identity that you don't tolerate or perpetuate that, you're gonna feel pretty lost and shaken to realize you've been participating in it inadvertely.

But it's also true that your actions determine your character and what really matters is what you do once you have that information. You can't put it back and pretend it's not there. You know now, so what you do with that it's what matters. And what you do should, ideally, be to minimize harm. To not further compound the harm you might or might not have already participated in unknowingly, by knowingly shitting on the people who've spoken up. Unfortunately, you'll see a lot of people not do that, and instead try their best to bury the knowledge and shove it back into Pandora's box so they can go back to enjoying her words and being friends with her without question.

That too is a statement. That too is a thing other people see.

Also, also! I think you're confusing me with @carriesthewind which I find very flattering because they're significantly more eloquent and less rambling than I am, so it's with a heavy heart I must inform you I was not the one who untangled the AO3 post. My brain still threatens sedition looking at it. So credit where credit is due, you want these amazing breakdowns right here:

I just happened to reblog them!

#rie answers #Anonymous #flamethrower #the wank that never ends

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makeste · 4 years ago

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have you noticed in the latest chapter the light is gone from Izuku's eyes? The same way it was gone from Katsuki's between his rescue and Deku vs Kacchan 2 fight. Izuku is hurting inside and im sitting here wondering how long will it be til he hits breaking point

so I’m late in answering these two asks (got them last week after 309 came out) because a certain someone had his birthday and so I was busy reading fanfic and hunting down gremlin faces, and then 310 came along and so I got distracted with that, and also I just suck at answering asks. but anyways, yes. yes to all of this, and thank you both for pointing this out. like, let’s talk about this. because this is how Deku’s eyes look normally,

and this is him in the latest chapter.

first of all, this is really well-played imo, because it’s all about consistency. it’s a very subtle change (or at least I thought it was lol), and the reason it’s so effective is because Horikoshi is so consistent in drawing the “normal” bright-eyed Deku look that you can’t help but notice the change when he suddenly stops. even if you can’t necessarily put your finger on exactly what’s off at first, I think most people definitely got that feeling of something being wrong. and that’s very deliberate.

so why is this important? well because a lot of people’s big fear right now is that the story is tacitly endorsing Deku’s recent choices and painting them as right/correct. namely, people are worried that this whole thing with Deku striking off on his own (because let’s be real, that’s exactly what he’s done; it doesn’t matter that All Might and the Hawksquad are accompanying him, because he’s clearly keeping his distance from them and is ready to give them the slip the moment things get bad) is going to be framed as The Right Decision Which Is Best For Everyone. and for a lot of people, that comes as a betrayal, because up until this point the series has espoused teamwork and trust as core virtues, and what Deku is doing right now is basically the opposite of that.

and this is why little details like the Despondent Eyes of Angst and Despair (or D.E.A.D. eyes for short) are so important -- because they signal to us that this is not the case. they are a very clear visual indicator that in spite of him appearing to have his shit together, Deku is very much not okay right now. like, let me just repeat that one more time: Deku is not fine. Deku is very much not fine here at all. Despondent Eyes of Angst and Despair are not just a little thing to be ignored. D.E.A.D. eyes are a dead giveaway that a character is Going Through It and is not in the right state of mind right now and needs help. but before I start spamming this post with images, let me add a read more cut.

okay, so! case in point,

Nana’s eyes normally:

vs. Nana’s eyes when she’s talking about potentially killing her grandson in order to defeat AFO:

Iida’s eyes normally:

vs. Iida’s eyes when he’s plotting premeditated murder to avenge his brother:

and again, Deku’s eyes normally:

vs. Deku’s eyes in chapters 306 through 310:

Deku’s eyes were still clear all the way up through chapter 305 when he was talking to the Vestiges about wanting to save Tomura. in fact, they were clear af when he was giving his speeches about that, because that light in his eyes always shines brightest when he’s speaking and acting with true conviction. it’s one of the ways the art shows us how determined he is. when Deku talks about saving people no matter what, he’s speaking straight from the heart about one of the core principles of his character, and the look in his eyes reflects that.

now contrast that against the look in his eyes when he talks about not wanting anyone else to get hurt:

once you see it, you can’t not see it. it’s Horikoshi’s way of showing that even though it may sound like the Same Old Deku on the surface, it absolutely is not the Deku we’ve come to know and love. something is deeply wrong. even though these might appear to be the same old convictions he’s always had -- protect everyone at all costs -- he’s gone from acting out of belief and principle to acting out of fear. he’s afraid of someone else getting hurt because of him. he’s so afraid that he’s pushing people away left and right to stop it from happening again. and that fear is holding him back, because as long as he’s holding himself apart from everyone else and trying to do it all solo, he’s making the same mistake that All Might once did. no one can bear all of that weight on their shoulders alone. AFO isn’t someone who can be defeated by any one person alone. the only way he’s ever going to be defeated is if the characters hold true to the one ideal that’s at the very core of the series: one for all. the combined strength of many, working together to overcome the selfish, arrogant, limited strength of one.

basically, this right here is why I haven’t been concerned about the story suddenly veering off the rails with this latest development. like, this isn’t Our Lord And Savior Deku being put on a pedestal and worshipped while all the other characters are shoved aside. this is Literally-Still-Just-A-Child Deku having an angst spiral while the distracted adults around him try their best to keep an eye on him but kind of suck at it because there’s too much other stuff going on that they’re also trying to deal with. All Might could be the one to help him in theory, but in practice he’s too accommodating and doesn’t really know how to say ‘no’ to this kid he loves like his own son, and right now he’s basically letting Deku walk all over him. as for the Vestiges, they’re great for helping Deku in battle, but well, how do I put this lol. basically I’m not fully sold on trusting Deku’s mental health to a bunch of angst-ridden martyrs who all died willingly in order to further the cause of taking AFO down. not really the best life coaches, there.

but you know who I do trust to finally get through to Deku and get him to see reason and start having faith in others again?

these guys.

so yeah. tl;dr, Deku isn’t okay right now and we’re not meant to think he is. and unless I’m way off base, this is going to be a very temporary arrangement. I don’t think Deku can continue as he is right now indefinitely. saving others has been his whole thing since the very start of the manga, but like everything else, eventually it has to come full circle. and I think that very soon, it’s finally going to be his turn to be saved. luckily for him, he’s got some good (and determined) friends. and as they say, giving help that’s not asked for is part of what makes a true hero.

#bnha 310 #bnha 309 #midoriya izuku #bnha meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks

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guardian-of-fun-times · 3 years ago

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Jack’s favorite superhero is Spider-Man. He identifies with Peter in many ways (including personality, physical age, and devotion to family) that make him admirable in Jack’s eyes.

Jack can feel temperature changes, but is not effected by them. The cold is his natural element, so it feels baseline normal for him. Heat is noted, but due to constant internal cooling, he doesn’t sweat or get aggravated in warm climates.

Jack is cold to the touch, but not uncomfortably so (unless you’re already cold).

Jack is a spirit. He is dead. He does not inhabit a true body. For this reason, he does not have a heartbeat, he does not bleed or bruise (the only exception to bruising is when it is caused by a supernatural force), and he can sustain great deals of physical strain without visible marks (ex. falling onto a dumpster them bouncing right back into action).

He does not feel physical pain in the sense that humans do, but rather, responds appropriately to the pressure of impact. Emotional pain is far more potent, as he can feel it with prolonged intensity.

As he is already dead, Jack is classified as a spirit. Beings like the Guardians who are living, and who will remain so as long as they are not actively killed are called Eternals by Mun.

Now that he has entered into the Guardians contract, Jack’s strength is directly proportional to the power of belief sustaining him. The more believers he attracts, the more abilities he is able to harness and unlock, just as with fewer believers, his powers dim.

Jack does not require food or sleep to function, but will indulge in such things to make him feel more “alive.” Without a natural body, he does not excrete waste either.

Prior to becoming a Guardian, the only Guardian he was fond of was Sandy, not only because Sandy was the only one to actively show him kindness on his travels, but because Sandy does not “bribe kids” with physical gifts. Jack has always admired him for this reason.

Jack got the idea of animating frost from Sandy.

Jack tries to change his wardrobe every decade or two. Basically, whenever a large enough shift in fashion has occurred. He’s owned his American Apparel hoodie since the early 2,000’s, so it could be up to another decade before he decides to update his look again.

He tries to take his clothes from Goodwill donation bins.

He wears a Spider-Man t-shirt under his hoodie and cherishes it as one of his few possessions.

Jack’s trousers have remained a constant because he considers shirts more symbolic of the times than pants. Also, in canon, they’ve been mended by fairy magic, so they’re in fine shape.

While Jack doesn’t need to bathe (no sweat glands), he does need to occasionally wash his clothes. He tries to use secluded hot springs, so that if he’s seen, his nakedness won’t come as much of a shock.

Jack fluently speaks and reads English, and is competent with American Sign Language. He has dabbled in numerous languages from around the world, and counts the ability to communicate with all children as his duty as a Guardian. He has a thirst for learning new things, so he’ll always be willing to at least try to engage in conversation with someone who converses in another language.

Jack is self conscious of his body image. Depending on the thread, he can be anywhere from extremely touchy to mildly uncomfortable, but the fact remains that he is aware he does not measure up to peoples ideal form of masculinity, and can become very hurt if pestered too much about his looks.

Despite lack of blood flow, Jack is still able to blush blue and get erections. (Mun is aware of the inconsistencies and hopes you can forgive these elements.)

Jack is Demisexual/Demiromantic. He does not gain sexual or romantic feelings for a person unless he has established a strong emotional bond with them first. This can take time, so ships are rare.

Jack CAN swim. He grew up next to that lake and spent a lot of time playing there with Flee and the village children. Mun attributes his drowning to the shock of the cold causing his body to seize up, and a possible gasp of surprise letting water into his lungs. The experience of death was traumatic, but Jack has come to terms and is able to have fun in and around the water again.

Jack’s favorite color has always been blue. A crisp Autumn sky, the still water of his lake. It’s always appealed to him.

Jack loves dogs, and his favorite breed is huskies, as they’re meant for cold weather.

#guardian #guardian of fun #guardians of childhood #headcanon #jack frost #rise of the guardians #rotg #rotg fandom #rotg jack frost #rotg matters

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rainydaydream-gal18 · 3 years ago

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(The Bad Batch) The Awkward Chronicles

(Author’s Note: Here is some wild Bad Batch content for you. I’m still not entirely sure why I did this, but I was sitting here laughing and blushing at this madness. I’m one of those people who gets embarrassed so easily, so this fic was a ride for me.

-We all have ideas on what it’d be like to live and fight with the Bad Batch. These are some short examples of the less glamorous things that can happen when you dwell with five males on a tiny ship-

Warnings: Some awkward situations, embarrassment, some crude humor, potty humor)

Link to The Sequel

You were walking down the hall, minding your own business, when it happened. The lights went out. As a matter of fact, it seemed that power in the entire ship was down. You were left stranded in the pitch black, feeling around for the wall for only a few seconds before a low hum sounded and the emergency lights came on.

The hall was cast in an eerie red light.

“Tech!” Hunter’s growl made you jump. That’s when you remembered; the last time you’d seen the Sergeant was when he excused himself to the refresher to take a shower. A loud bang sounded on the door just a few feet away from you. “Tech, what’s going on?”

Before you could respond, the door slid open, and a very disgruntled Hunter emerged. It was quite a sight. His long hair was damp and full of suds, some of which was falling into his eyes, and he wore a towel around his waist. He was trying to blink the soap from his eyes, and he must not have seen you there because he marched straight into you.

You yelped, hands shooting up instinctively to try and cushion the blow. They landed on his broad chest, and you shrunk away awkwardly. The dampness of his skin and the proximity was enough to make your face flare up. Embarrassment quickly took its toll. You were glad that the emergency lights were dim.

“__________?” Hunter asked in disbelief, swiping the back of his hand across his eyes. His grumpy demeanor was replaced with surprise.

“Um, yeah, it’s me,” you replied. “Sorry.”

“I’m the one who ran into you,” he said in amusement. He was right, but something about the situation just made you feel like you should apologize. Maybe it was the way you were trying so very hard to meet his eyes and not let your attention wander.

Funny enough, Hunter didn’t seem at all bothered by the situation. He continued to stand there unabashedly, eyes flickering past you. “Where’s Tech? Do you know what’s going on?”

“He was making repairs in the cockpit,” you said.

“Would’ve been nice if he at least waited until no one was using the shower,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, very true. Here, I’ll just…” You glanced at the floor, biting your lip. “I’ll, um, tell him to hurry up with the power.”

“Thanks,” Hunter nodded. He gathered up his damp hair which had started to drip more suds down his shoulder, and turned to head back into the refresher. You spun around and hurried toward the cockpit, ready to face-palm.

That image won’t stay burned into your mind or anything. Nope.

- - - -

You glared at the empty roll. It sat there tauntingly as your brain desperately thought of options to solve your current predicament.

If you really wanted to, you could pull your bottoms up just enough to shimmy out of the refresher and grab a new roll of toilet paper in the supply closet. It was a small ship, though, so there were a few things that could make the plan go awry. Someone could easily walk by and witness the unfortunate situation. Or worse, someone could be waiting for you to exit the refresher and slip in after you walk out the door.

Your best bet would be to see if someone could bring you a roll. Wrecker was the most ideal choice. He was likely the one who left you with an empty roll in the first place, and he was the most relaxed of the group about things like that. Not to mention you’d rescued him from the same situation a few times already. You could count on him cracking a joke and then just moving on.

Speaking of which, you heard his heavy footsteps going down the hall right then. Relief washed over you as you grinned and gave the refresher door a knock. “Wrecker! Can I ask a favor?”

“Sorry, ________! I’m moving something for Hunter,” he grunted. “Crosshair’s here though! He can help you out.”

Your smile faded.

Crosshair was not a bad guy, but to say that you weren’t exactly eager to ask him to get you toilet paper was an understatement. How could you bring yourself to ask the man and have him know your awkward situation?

“What do you need?” Crosshair’s smooth voice was muffled through the refresher door. You took a deep breath as you decided to take the plunge.

“I, uh, I need someone to grab toilet paper from the closet.”

It was dead silent on the other end for a minute, and you were inwardly cringing. Your heart was thumping wildly in your chest, and your face practically burned with shame.

“Isn’t there any under the sink?”

“Already checked,” you said. “Someone forgot to restock it.”

“That would be Wrecker.” He sighed in annoyance. “Give me a minute.” It felt like forever before you heard him knock on the door again. “I’m...I’m just going to leave it here.”

“Thanks,” you called through the door.

His footsteps faded away, and you cracked the door open just enough to snatch up the roll.

In hindsight, Crosshair had been pretty cool about the whole thing. You weren’t sure what to expect, but your wildest imagination had envisioned his tone being laced with disgust, or at the very least irritation toward you. Or maybe a snide comment. Even so, it didn’t do much to derail the embarrassment that had set in when you joined the others in the cockpit. You had a hard time looking Crosshair’s way for a while.

- - - -

Where could they be? You rested your hands on your hips, frustrated. You had searched every inch of your bunk for your boots to no avail. Hunter and Wrecker were waiting for you outside the ship to join them for a supply run. The only thing you could think of was that perhaps during the last crash-landing, they slid up to the front.

With a sigh, you typed up a quick message to Tech on your holopad. He was already up there working on one of the panels: maybe he could check.

Three dots appeared on the screen, which meant he was typing up a response. Then, they disappeared. They reappeared once more. Confused, you were about to head up to the cockpit anyway before a ping sounded on your device, alerting you of his response.

I take it you were asking about your boots. If that’s the case, then yes, they’re here up front.

Your brows furrowed. “What…? I did ask about boots. What does he think I wrote?” You scrolled up to see your original message, covering your mouth in shock.

It read: Tech, have you seen my booty?

You quickly typed up a response. Oh my gosh. Yes, I meant to say boots.

That explained his hesitant reply before. Your face heated up at the thought of the brainiac reading your typo and short-circuiting for a moment, being unsure of how to go about it. You choked back a laugh on your way up front to fetch your boots.

Tech was kneeling down beside the panel when you arrived.

“Heyy,” you greeted. He paused his work to lift his helmet. There was a hint of amusement in his gaze, and you could see the way he was fighting a smile.

“Hello, ________.”

“About earlier,” you grimaced.

He finally cracked a smile, chuckling. “No worries. These things tend to happen. I set your boots over there.” He nodded in the direction of the co-pilot seat. Face flushed, you grabbed your boots off the chair and pulled them on before heading out to join Hunter and Wrecker.

- - - -

“Alright,” Hunter shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Who was that?”

Everyone in the cockpit exchanged looks, some accusatory. Under normal circumstances, you’d think the whole thing was childish. But for someone with Hunter’s abilities, you sort of understood why every time someone passed gas, it became a game of “who did it?”

It was almost always Wrecker. Sometimes he’d admit it proudly, and other times he’d try and deny it. This time, it seemed, he was out for blood.

“It was __________,” he said. “I heard it.”

All eyes turned to you, including Hunter’s vexed expression. You glared at the largest Bad Batcher with your heart thumping in embarrassment. “Was not!”

The corner of his mouth twitched. A hint of a smile, though he quickly hid it. “Come on, _________. It’s bad enough that you disturbed Hunter’s ‘advanced senses.’” He quoted the phrase that he’d heard Tech throw around before. “But don’t try and cover it up.”

“It wasn’t me.” You replied in disbelief. Turning to Hunter, your eyes took on a more pleading look. “You’ve got to believe me.”

“You’re being awfully defensive,” Echo noted.

“Yeah, awfully defensive,” Wrecker repeated, nodding furiously. “Own up, ________. That one was really bad.”

You sighed. “This is silly. It wasn’t me, and you know it.”

“Maybe it was,” Crosshair shrugged. “And maybe it wasn’t.”

“Either way,” Hunter interrupted, shooting each of you a look. “I’ll ask all of you one more time. Try and hold off until we land, so I can leave.”

The cockpit fell into silence once more, and you turned around to take a seat in one of the passenger chairs, brooding over the situation. Wrecker shot you a cheeky grin, and you rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help the smile that crept its way onto your features at his childishness.

- - - -

“__________, could you fetch me another wrench?” Tech asked, grunting as he pulled out a few wires from the opening in the wall. “I’m going to need it in a minute.”

Your eyes caught something shiny on the tool kit he had laid out on the floor of the cockpit. Kneeling down to pick it up, you shrugged. “You mean like this?” Tech glanced your way and shook his head.

“A smaller one.”

“Oh alright,” you sighed. “Be right back.” You moseyed your way out of the cockpit, taking your time because it was a slow day and there was no rush. It was unusual for the ship to be so quiet. That was most likely because Wrecker wasn’t on board. He went with Hunter and Crosshair to see the planet a little.

On your way back to the rest of Tech’s tools, you saw Echo making his way up front.

“How go the repairs?” he asked.

“Pretty good,” you said with a nod. Both of you had paused to converse for a moment in the hall. “I’m grabbing some more tools for Tech. Apparently the toolkit he brought up front doesn’t have the wrench he needs.”

Echo chuckled. “Well, good luck to you. I’ve got my own repairs to make, or else I’d help.”

“Well, thanks anyway.” You smiled.

“__________!” Tech called. “If I am to proceed, I will need that wrench.”

“One second!” you called back. Shrugging, you mumbled, “duty calls.” Echo and you both stepped aside so the other could pass by first. A few chuckles floated into the air, and before you knew it both of you were taking a step forward at the same time.

“Wow, okay, I’m sorry,” you said, feeling a little shy at the awkward close proximity. Both of you sidestepped, bringing your chests together again. Echo fidgeted a little with the contact. Heat flooded your cheeks at how you were so close you nearly kissed. Your friend rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Ah, sorry,” he mumbled. “Why don’t you just go ahead?” This time, he managed to take a step back and over against the wall, lighthearted laughter leaving his lips as you walked past.

“Sorry,” you told him again over your shoulder. As you walked away, you felt that familiar twinge of embarrassment. Poor Echo looked somewhere between amused and a little embarrassed himself. You were a little relieved to hear another laugh from him down the hall.

#the bad batch x reader #bad batch x reader #the bad batch imagine #the bad batch fanfiction #tech x reader #crosshair x reader #echo x reader #hunter x reader #wrecker x reader #the bad batch reader insert

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kaibutsushidousha · 2 years ago

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Witch, Picture, and Red-Eyed Girl (Sagrada Reset 2) - Chapter 2: Red-eyed Girl (part 5)

[INDEX]

The same day - 01:30 PM

01:30 PM. Almost an hour after Oka Eri attacked Haruki Misora.

Asai Kei was in Haruki's room.

He hadn't been there in a long time.

A study desk, a bed, and a bookshelf. Cat plushies and small props with chibi images of cats scattered all over the place. It definitely looked like a girl's bedroom, but in an artificial manner, like a photo in a room catalog.

Haruki Misora stood in a corner of her room, scared of something she wouldn't talk about.

(What could possibly scare so much her in her own room? There's no monster hiding in the closet. And her eyes were set only on me... Ok, enough with the escapism. Face reality and take another look at Haruki. She's scared of me. She's afraid of meeting me without her ability.)

Haruki took out his wallet.

"It's yours."

He smiled, thanked her, and took his wallet back. He imagined it was as full as it was before. She wasn't supposed to pay his café bill, but he knew it wasn't the best time for that conversation.

"Are you hurt?"

He worried if that sounded caring enough. His voice didn't emote unless he did it on command, no matter how much he felt the emotion he wanted to convey.

Haruki's smile was different from her usual smile.

"I'm completely fine. Seriously. It doesn't hurt anywhere."

Her expressions, gestures, and phrasing were not her usual.

Kei could play a game of Spot the Differences with her behavior. It'd take him 10 seconds to prove all her lies.

But there was no reason to point them out to her. Her elbow was bandaged and with marks of blood. That fact alone told everything.

(The world doesn't need anything that would make Haruki put on bandages. Making her blood leave her body is unforgivable. But the cause of those wounds is me. I'm never thinking about anyone other than myself, am I? I'm always considering the possibility Haruki will be hurt. I hurt her numerous times already. Premeditately. And I have no intention of changing that. Even then, I still can't forgive myself for it.)

"Sorry, Kei.", she said.

(You did nothing you need to apologize for.)

"No, it was my fault."

(There's so much I was careless about. I've made nothing but mistakes in these past two years, and this bandage on Haruki's arm is one of those mistakes given concrete form. My power falls so horrendous short of the ideal...)

The next thing he needed to do is get a full picture of the situation. To test if her ability is truly sealed. He would have already done it if he was able to fully ignore Haruki's feelings.

But he couldn't. It was most likely true that Haruki's ability was sealed. She was going to apologize again when the Reset didn't work. He didn't want to make her do that if he could help it.

"Command me to Reset", she asked.

Her voice was firmer than usual.

It contained a level of emotion she usually didn't consider necessary.

(Hah, she's showing off how powerless I am. Haruki Misora understands Asai Kei's thoughts better than anyone. That was so obvious. How could I not have noticed?)

"Please do what you find most correct."

(How could I not notice that nothing makes her sadder than me not acting normal?)

"Wait one minute."

The coward needed to stall for one minute to decide what to do next and how to interact with the girl.

"Understood."

After hearing Haruki's voice, Kei closed his eyes.

He needed them closed to remember the past 2 years in 1 minute.

And then reconfirm what he was already tired of knowing.

Their ability was always part of their interactions. Haruki Misora's Reset and Asai Kei's Memory Retention.

Two middling abilities that didn't amount to much on their own.

(Our abilities were what connected us.)

They were like key and lock. One couldn't be used without the other. Their abilities were the reason why they promised to stay together. The two stayed by each other's sides for two years, automatically, almost naturally.

Such a casual, twisted, and cruel connection.

Haruki Misora's ability didn't mean much to her. That was a very abnormal mindset by Sakurada standards, but she rarely ever relied on her ability.

ーIf I lost the power to Reset… would our relationship change in any way?

(If that was the only thing making you sad over the loss of your ability, then I wish I could tell you that the lack of the ability doesn't change your worth. That you don't need to change over that. But I can't, because now you no longer need to be with me all the time. And it'd be way too irresponsible to tell you this truth. After all, I'm the one who wanted our contact to be centered around our abilities.)

After exactly one minute, Kei opened his eyes. He looked straight into Haruki's eyes and twisted his mouth into a visibly false smile.

(Right, I'm always smiling at times like this. Because it makes things easier. But Haruki will see through the lies.)

"Haruki, Reset."

Haruki's face was intense for a moment, and then...

"Yeah, I can't."

She smiled back at him. She didn't apologize.

(I forget how strong this girl is at her core. And I knew this for so long. What a joke. The guy with the power to remember everything can forget something this important.)

She looked straight into Kei's eyes, her expression more serious than ever.

"I have a favor to ask. Please retrieve my Reset."

Kei returned her eye contact.

"Sure, it's what I was going to do anyway. I swear you'll have your ability back."

Their twisted and cruel connection is something they need to get rid of in the future but now was not the time.

"Thank you.", Haruki sighed.

And her usual smile finally returned to her face.

"This was very reassuring."

"You cycled through these emotions pretty fast."

"Not at all. Anything you wish for eventually comes true, Kei. Oka Eri is no match for you."

(I'm not so sure. Nothing about Oka Eri's ability is confirmed yet.)

He couldn't be sure that it was possible to recover the Reset. But he couldn't bring himself to look insecure in front of Haruki at the moment.

"Sure, I'll make it work.", Kei answered as if it was no big deal. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes. Where are we going?"

"There're lots of places to go. The first being the street outside."

Murase Youka was waiting there.

She could have entered the apartment, but she wished for Kei and Haruki to be alone for a while.

"Understood.", Haruki answered.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Kei and Haruki opened the apartment door, Murase was leaning on the wall directly in front of them.

The first thing she said upon seeing them:

"Right hand, Oka Eri's ability."

Kei had asked this before. With this command, Murase could erase abilities on contact. It's possible it could erase Oka Eri's ability cast on Haruki.

She moved towards Haruki and asked.

"I'm going to touch you, ok?"

Haruki nodded.

"Please do."

Murase's hand softly touched Haruki's forehead.

It kept going up to the top of Haruki's head, and after a moment of hesitation, she touched Haruki's chest next.

"Anything?"

Haruki shifted her eyes to Kei.

"Reset", Kei commanded.

But nothing happened. Haruki shook her head.

"Sorry. Still can't use it."

"I see", Murase almost sighed.

It was as she expected.

Murase's ability required touching the target. If the target of Oka Eri's ability is Haruki's mind or memories, Murase would need to touch Haruki's mind, which is not very easy to pull off. Kei hoped this could work because Murase once managed to erase an ability cast on a cat, but the nature of the ability being used back them is not the same as this.

Opening and closing her hand, Murase whispered.

"I'm more useless than I expected."

(Absolutely wrong.)

"You have an excellent ability."

The best ability Kei knew was without a doubt the witch's future sight, but for a second place, it's hard to find an ability as "can do anything" as Murase's.

Murase gave him a half-glare.

"Better than the Reset?"

"Don't know. That's a complicated question."

He couldn't rank the Reset. Too much emotional bias attached to the choice.

"Either way, you can't deny it was useless now."

Murase was uncharacteristically frank. Kei was surprised. He was though she had absolute confidence in her ability.

"So, what next?"

"I'll ask Mr. Tsushima about Oka Eri's ability."

He had already called the teacher and decided on a time and place to meet. Without knowing the inner workings Oka Eri's ability, he had no way to formulate a plan.

"I'm going with you, okay?"

(Wasn't expecting that, but thanks.)

"You want to helps us?"

Murase shook her head, astounded by his denseness.

"What do you think I spent my morning doing?

She walked under the scorching sun to find Oka Eri. She already told him that.

(She's surprisingly cooperative. Goes to show how much she's a good person at her core. She can be aggressive sometimes, but I have no reason to refuse her cooperation. Her ability is extremely handy. If life gives you lemons, make a lemonade.)

"Then I have favor to ask."

"What?"

"Find out what Oka Eri is doing. Without being found out, if possible."

He was going to meet Oka Eri at 9 PM. He was hoping he could know the cards in her hand before the time comes.

Tracking was Murase's specialty. She can erase the sound of her footsteps, know the direction where people are, and produce peepholes. And if she's found out, she won't be in danger unless she makes any dumb mistakes.

"Understood", Murase agreed. Then she grinned and pointed at Kei. "I can do it. Not even you could notice me trailing you."

"When did you do that?"

"It's a secret. Doesn't matter either way."

(What the hell? I need to watch my back better.)

"So, how long do I need to watch Oka Eri for?"

"Until I say you're done."

"You're a really cheeky guy.", Murase giggled.

Kei responded with a smile.

"You have no idea how self-centered I am."

"No, I think I can tell."

"Weird, I thought I was great at hiding it."

"Liar. You do nothing to hide it. Right hand, what's between me and Oka Eri. I'll call you when I find her."

"Thank you. I'll message you if anything happens on my end, too. Keep your sound notifications on."

"I know. Bye."

Murase walked away.

Haruki spoke next to him.

"You've been getting along with a lot of girls lately."

"You should also be making more friends, don't you think?"

"Any recommendations?"

"Nonoo, perhaps."

Kei mentioned a cat-loving girl he often found sleeping by a Shinto shrine.

She and Haruki were both challenging small talk partners, so Kei couldn't imagine the two holding a conversation and was very curious to find out what that would look like.

"I'll try.", Haruki gave a serious answer.

"Good. We should also get going."

They need to see Tsushima and learn what they can about Oka Eri's ability.

"Roger.", Haruki nodded.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

2:15 PM.

Oka Eri got off the bus. She was at the bus stop right next to Sasano Hiroyuki's house.

She took out her phone and called the first number in her call history. She called them many times but it always went to the answering machine.

She sat on the bus stop bench, listening to the dialing noise. She put down the plastic bag she had in her hand, lied down, and crossed her legs.

The dialing noise eventually stopped. Her correspondent had finally picked up her call.

She could hear a deep male voice from the phone.

"Hi there, Oka Eri."

"Don't call me Oka Eri. We're not friends."

She didn't know him very well, so she didn't want him acting too chummy in their interactions.

"So, did you get rid of the photos?", he asked.

"Not yet. I just got off the bus."

He called her immediately after she sealed Haruki Misora's ability and talked to Asai Kei on the phone. He ordered her to eliminate all of Sasano Hiroyuki's photos.

The plastic bag next to Oka Eri contained lighter oil and matches. Her role was burning Sasano's entire collection.

(Shit, I shouldn't be wasting my time with this. I'll meet Asai Kei at 9:00. I gotta prepare for that. Why now of all times I need to burn some stranger's photos?)

"Do you need anything from me?", he asked.

"I have a few questions."

She meant to ask those questions when she took her orders, but he announced he had something else to do and hung up without waiting to listen to her say anything.

"Why do we still need to burn the photos?"

"Because they're pictures of something that should have been photographed. More precisely, photos no ability should be allowed to reproduce."

She heard that before.

"Yeah, but you already made me seal the Sasano's ability, no? So why am I being asked to come back another day to get rid of the photos?"

"Does it matter why? We have a contract."

(He's right...)

Oka Eri would obey his orders, and in exchange, he would leak Bureau-exclusive information to her. Information about Asai Kei, about the Resets, and about the person with the best ability in Sakurada.

Oka Eri switches the crossed legs.

"I know that. So I'm asking for information as my deserved reward. What are you making me do?"

"Oh, ok."

She could hear a quiet laugh on the other side of the phone. She felt mocked and didn't like that.

"Sasano Hiroyuki lied about his ability. He didn't need his ability to enter the photos.", he said.

"What was the lie?"

"Sasano doesn't need to use his ability when he's ripping the photo. The activation is only necessary for the first step, when he's taking the photo."

"So basically, even with his ability sealed, as long as he still has photos he took using his ability, he can still enter them?"

"Yeah. And it doesn't have to be him. You and I could also enter the photos we ripped."

This was fascinating to hear. Oka Eri smiled.

"So we should have confiscated all the photos after all."

"Yes, exactly."

"Then why did we let him get away with just the seal before?"

There was not much of a point to disabling his ability.

"I didn't know about it back then. I thought the seal would have solved everything. But yesterday this one member of the Bureau started gathering information on Sasano, you see. I got curious and kept my tabs on him. Without this coincidence, we'd still have been in the dark about his ability."

"Hah, how dumb. Didn't think I'd ever see the Bureau be wrong about an ability."

"You can't blame us. How many abilities do you think there are in Sakurada?", the man dispassionately asked. "About half the citizens have abilities. That puts the number of abilities on the 5 digits. No way our measly public institution can manage all of them that strictly."

The man took a pause before he continued speaking in a lower tone. Like a teacher trying to speak to an underperforming student.

"The Bureau is built under the illusion that it's possible to regulate all the abilities. It's just a fantasy. Reality couldn't stray further from that. That's what makes Sakurada so dangerous. Much more dangerous than you think."

A line she heard from his mouth countless times.

"I don't get it. Sakurada is safe as long you have the ability to see the future, no?"

That was another piece of information she learned from him.

The best ability in Sakurada and the user locked in a building. A lone woman observing all potential problems in Sakurada.

"She's definitely competent. We never found anyone as useful as her. But didn't I already tell you? She's about to die.", he declared with a chilling voice.

She gripped her phone harder.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. If you want her ability, you gotta be faster."

"Is that really okay for a Bureau member to tell me?"

"Absolutely not, but we're way past the point it matters."

He spoke unemotive, as if he was talking about a distant country.

"The Bureau already extracted all the information it needed out of her. She's a dried husk now. Broken remains of the past abandoned in a deteriorating building. There's no more value in keeping people to guard her, so the security there is full of holes. Your ability can do the job."

Oka Eri gulped and asked.

"If I fail my attempt to take her away, will you protect me, perhaps?"

She heard dry laughter.

"How could I? That's not a clause in our contract."

Oka Eri cackled. "Sure isn't." Then contained her voice as much as possible before continuing. "By the way, you still didn't answer the important question. What are you making me do? What wasn't supposed to be in a photo? What's your goal?"

He sighed.

"I'm only disclosing the Bureau's info. Not my own. You have no right to ask about my goal."

Oka Eri cursed internally.

He was a Bureau member but his philosophy was different from the Bureau at large. And when he needed to things that go against the Bureau's will, he used Oka Eri.

"I gave you all the information you wanted, haven't I?", he asked.

Oka Eri asked mainly about Asai Kei, the Resets, and an ability better than the Reset.

"Asai Kei has the MacGuffin, right?"

"Without a doubt."

"He's trying to protect it, right?"

"Probably. I'm not sure and I don't care much to find out, but I assume he is."

"That's all I need to hear."

(if I can take away the MacGuffin, I win against Asai Kei.)

"Bye, Oka Eri. I pray that you can break free from your past one day."

The man hung up after delivering this final message in the mocking tone of someone who didn't mean the wish he made. Oka Eri barely knew anything about him.

But his methods resembled what Kei was like 2 years before.

Oka Eri violently pulled her hair, lost in thought.

(Break free from my past? What the hell do you know? But ok. Doesn't matter. I got the gist of Sasano's deal. I don't need the details. I'll use any means at my disposal.)

Oka Eri stood up, grabbing the bag with her oil and matches.

She was ordered not to leave a single photo unburned. No one would notice a few pictures missing from the burning pile.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

He reclined on a black leather chair.

"Bye, Oka Eri. I pray that you can break free from your past one day."

The man hung up after delivering this final message in the mocking tone of someone who didn't mean the wish he made. He handed the phone to the woman standing next to him. The phone was hers. He didn't like carrying objects in his pocket.

Taking her phone back, she asked him.

"Are you sure this is the best course of action?"

"You mean my decision on the photos? Or telling her about the photos? Or perhaps my policy in dealing with the nameless system??"

"All of them. Telling her about the nameless system was particularly dangerous, in my opinion."

"It wasn't. Everyone connected to her is under control."

"Also, Oka Eri shouldn't be disposing of the photos alone. We need someone watching her."

"No, it's fine. Her taking some photos with her won't be a major problem. If I needed a perfect operation, I'd have used someone else."

"But Oka Eri acts out self-interest. We can't be sure she will follow our orders."

He shrugged.

"I don't care what that girl does. My only interest is that no incidents happen."

(The blazes just need to burn without thinking about where their flames are spreading to. Whatever gets burned, it won't be my loss.)

He threw his weight to his back and crossed his legs.

"You know, have you ever thought about the despair in the fact that the ability to see the future exists?"

After this quote, the man smirked.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

At 3:00 PM, Kei and Haruki were in a small park. The cries of the cicadas were numerous and prevalent due to the large number of trees. The two sat under the shade of the trees, on a bench that had already lost most of its paint. They were supposed to meet Tsushima in this park. A building next to it had a Bureau office.

Kei checked his watch. It has been almost an hour since they arrived in the park. They got there about 10 minutes early. That meant Tsushima was 50 minutes late.

When Tsushima Shintarou finally showed himself, he was wearing a suit. Quite unusual for him. Nostalgic, even. He raised his hand with the face of someone who didn't want to be here. His other hand carried a brown A4 envelope.

"Sorry. I'm late."

"We're the ones who should be apologizing for the tough request."

Kei and Haruki stood up and greeted their teacher. Tsushima threw himself at the bench the two students had been sitting on.

After a light stretch, he started talking.

"Quite a mess you got yourselves into."

"Yeah, I can tell."

"Don't you think you've done enough?"

"About what?"

"Everything." Tsushima relaxed all his muscles and reclined on the bench. "Haruki's Resets aren't absolutely necessary and you know it. And without them, you have no reason to stay in the Service Club. Put this crappy job behind you and become a proper 15-year-old. Enjoy your high school life."

The rebuttal to this didn't come from Kei.

"I don't want to."

A simple refusal.

He was glad Haruki was with him. Kei alone wouldn't have been able to say what she did. He knew what she would answer but couldn't possibly answer in her stead.

"You've already done more than any teenager should. Learn to relax, geez."

This time it was Kei who answered.

"We do relax a decent amount. We do what we want when we want without stressing over what people think about it."

Holding back on your wishes for no reason is just tiring.

Tsushima laughed.

"You're practically a workaholic."

"Just like you, Mr. Tsushima."

"Don't give me that, I cut corners wherever I can. I actually want less stress in my life."

"And yet you're working during summer vacations?"

"I skipped supplementary classes at school today, you know?"

"To search information at the Bureau for us."

"Not because I wanted to. I did my share today, so I'm taking a day off tomorrow."

Kei smiled. He knew that despite what he said, he'd still teach Murase's supplementary lesson the next day.

He looked at the sky and spoke.

"What do you think Oka's ability is?"

"Probably brainwashing or something with a similar effect."

"Anything more specific?"

"I'm not sure. But my theory is the ability to manipulate memories."

Tsushima made eye contact.

"Why do you think so?"

"Pre-Reset, when we saw eye-to-eye, she didn't use her ability on me."

If creatively used, an ability to brainwash others could do practically anything. For example, she could have made him hand her the MacGuffin or cooperate in sealing Haruki's Reset.

And yet she didn't use her ability on Kei.

"This got me theorizing that her ability is not very effective on me."

Asai Kei's ability allows him to accurately remember the past. And one of its drawbacks is that he's not allowed to forget them ever again.

If Oka Eri has the ability to manipulate memories, the two abilities would cause a complete paradox. When abilities clash contradictorily, only the one with the highest intensity gets to be effective. And Kei's ability intensity is extremely high. If his memories were manipulated, he would probably remember both the correct memory and the manipulation process.

"Congrats, right answer."

Tsushima handed him the large envelope.

"Here's the file on Oka's ability."

"Thank you."

He bowed and took the document.

While he was taking the paper out of the envelope, Tsushima made his commentary.

"The file titles Oka Eri's ability as Memory Addition and Memory Subtraction. It's just memory manipulation, but they split the effects into addition and subtraction for simplicity's sake."

The envelope contained 5 printed pages. The first page was a detailed explanation of Oka Eri's abilities and substantiated speculation on the unconfirmed details. The remaining 4 pages were real usage examples and their results.

"First, there's the Memory Addiction. Basically, she can implant non-existing memories. It can be anything. If Oka Eri gives the target an unclear idea, the target's own head will make things up to turn that into an existing memory."

That's the effect cast on Murase Youka. She was convinced that something scary happened and created her own scary memory.

"When doing so, she can manipulate their memories in a way that will somewhat reliably command them into performing one particular action. For example, she can go a step beyond manipulating memories to convince them something dangerous is approaching and directly convince them that they need to run away."

That's why Murase called Kei. She planted the memory that when something scary happened she needed to call Kei.

"That's powerful."

"Yeah. She can get pretty much anyone to do what she wants by convincing them that they're lovers or belong to the same group."

People act based on their memories. If their memory tells them they want to ride a bus, they'll ride it, and if it tells them they want to make a phone call, they will. If they're convinced the person they're talking to is trustworthy, they'll believe pretty much anything they say. Controlling memories means controlling actions.

Tsushima pointed at Haruki.

"And the effect she was hit with is most likely the other one."

"Memory Subtraction?"

"Yeah. This one is simpler. It makes people forget something. Haruki forgot how to use her ability."

Kei looked at Haruki.

She nodded.

"It's true, I can't remember how I Reset the previous times."

Looking only at the consequences, taking away the knowledge of how to use an ability is the same as taking the ability away. The victims weren't able to notice the difference.

"How can I remember it?", Haruki asked.

"Oka Eri's ability has three major weaknesses.", Tsushima answered.

"Those being?"

"First: the ability requires at least 5 seconds of eye contact to activate."

That was part of Kei's theories. The account of how the ability was cast on Haruki makes it obvious enough already, but Sasano also mentioned her bragging about her contact lenses. She was using those lenses as a tool to make people look at her eyes.

The ability was as powerful as it was easy to deal with. But this weakness meant nothing now that the ability is already cast on Haruki.

"Second:", said Tsushima. "The ability falls apart easily. If a third party tells them exactly what memory was added or subtracted, they'll eventually remember the correct memory."

Kei nodded.

After checking behind Murase and explaining to her that nothing scary was happening, she became aware of the mistake in her memories. Her ability was extremely powerful short-term but manageable long-term.

"Then I'll remember how to Reset?", asked Haruki.

(No. You can't. Sasano can't remember how to use his ability after a long period of time. Tsushima said "if a third party tells them exactly what memory was added or subtracted".)

"It's theoretically possible but practically impossible.", Tsushima listlessly answered. "You, Haruki, were the only person in the world who knew how to Reset. No one else can accurately teach you how to do it."

Sakurada's abilities were abstract more often than not. It would be difficult to verbally explain how to use one.

"Making someone forget their ability is the only application where Oka Eri's ability is expected to have a permanent effect.", Tsushima said.

That application was a loophole in her ability's restrictions. By making someone forget information no one else in the world knows, it becomes impossible for it to be remembered again.

"Do you think I can remember on my own with enough effort?", Haruki asked Kei.

"It's worth trying, but I don't know."

He could use his ability to forcibly awaken her memory, but there was one number missing in that equation.

Without losing spirit, Haruki asked Tsushima.

"And what's the third weakness?"

He nodded and answered.

"Oka Eri can't keep two effects on the same person. Using it a second time cancels the first effect."

That was another restriction Kei had considered.

She didn't seal Murase's ability. It was highly likely that she couldn't seal Murase's ability and get her to ask Kei for help at the same time. Oka Eri prioritized separating Kei and Haruki over disabling Murase's ability.

Kei needed to be sure.

"So if she uses her ability on Haruki again, she'll remember how to Reset?"

"Yup, that's right.", Tsushima confirmed even though he really didn't want to.

This would get another memory of hers manipulated, but this could be reverted by Resetting back to 11:49:32.

"Thank you.", Kei nodded.

He could see a clear way to retrieve the Reset ability.

"Don't do anything too dangerous."

"I'd never."

He needed to create an environment where Oka Eri would use her ability on Haruki again. This meant putting Haruki in contact with her. He couldn't afford risky methods.

Tsushima said goodbye, stood up from the bench and turned away from them.

Kei bowed and thanked him.

When he raised his head, his eyes met Haruki's.

"Do you think you can handle this?"

Kei nodded.

"Oka Eri's ability is much less of a challenge than I was imagining."

Everything Tsushima said was among the possibilities Kei was considering, but he felt a lot better having it confirmed.

"The scariest thing Oka Eri could do is pull someone I know to her side, but that won't work. The memory manipulation will be undone as we talk."

That's the best thing he could have heard. He was actually suspicious that Murase was made into an Oka Eri spy. So before going to Haruki's house, he went through a lot of annoying and tiresome methods to make sure her account was true. It was awful, but he needed to be sure since the plan was to have her use her ability on Haruki.

"Did you ever consider the possibility she made me a mole with her ability?", Haruki asked.

"Of course I did.", Kei answered.

But if Haruki lied, he would have seen through it. He had two years' worth of her face, gestures, and words memorized. He'd need to be really dumb to still be deceived.

"I'm glad you weren't Oka Eri's mole.", Kei said.

"Yes, me too.", Haruki answered.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kei spent the rest of his day thinking about Oka Eri.

He read Tsushima's whole document and chatted with Murase to keep track of her actions. And then he remembered everything related to Oka Eri. Not only their conversations. Her face when they passed across each other in the hallways, her profile in the schoolyard, and even the appearance of her old house.

The biggest issue was Oka Eri's mindset. What is she thinking? What is her goal? He needed to know in full detail.

Pre-Reset, she said:

“Evildoers are always trying to cause problems.”

“Because it’ll upset you. Do I have to spell it out? I hate you, dude.”

“See, that’s what’s so annoying about you. That’s why I can’t back down until I see you hopelessly defeated.”

The girl in the middle school art room said.

“Eri once told me she wanted to be like you.”

“That you never took others seriously, never opened up, riled people with empty promises, were proud of your worst behaviors, and belittled the whole wide world. Basically, you’re a bad guy.”

“I remembered one thing. Eri said only Asai is allowed to say her proper name.”

And two years ago, Fujikawa Eri said:

“What do I have to do to get stronger?”

He remembered his own answer.

He could easily imagine how much his words chained her.

Oka Eri called him at 5:00 PM.

“Sup, big guy.”, she said through the phone.

Her voice was cheerful and carefree. It was faked.

"I decided on the stage for tonight's show. Remember that lighthouse we saw through our middle school library window?"

"Of course.", Kei answered.

The lighthouse had been closed for almost four decades. Now it was just a tall, purposeless building.

"It's there. Don't forget the MacGuffin."

Kei called her before she could hang up.

"Wait, Fujikawa Eri."

He heard a deep breath, then a scream.

"You don't get to call me that name."

A yell with hints of crying.

Hearing that, he was sure.

He knew what she was trying to reject the most.

"Sorry, Oka Eri."

"I'll never forgive you."

"Yeah, I know."

And then she hung up.

Kei sighed. He had plans for that night.

#sagrada reset #witch picture and red eyed girl #asai kei #haruki misora #murase youka #oka eri #urachi masamune #sakuin #tsushima shintarou

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autisticandroids · 3 years ago

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I appreciate you being Dean concerned and not Dean critical. I’m sure you’ve already answered this before but what do you genuinely like about him? A lot of his good traits get twisted in your meta (and in the show) which is really interesting! But like. What about him do you just think is neat?

Also, you don’t talk about Sam a lot but I’m rewatching season 8 and it really feels like both a continuation of preseason one -> season one (Sam has a normal life, Dean is gone -> Sam wants to return to his normal life but Dean coming back gets him back in the game) which also gives it finale vibes :(

Besides the fact that the stuff with Amelia is really boring, it all just feels ooc and like a step back for Sam. Not to go on a rant but Sam seemed to finally make peace with his life back in season 7.

The stuff with Amelia also has both the same and the exact opposite energy as the stuff with Lisa. During his time with Lisa, it was always like Dean had one foot out the door back to hunting. During his time when he goes back to hunting with Dean in season 8, it feels like Sam always has one foot out the door back to Amelia.

That and I just can’t bring myself to give a shit about Amelia (maybe because she’s boring and inconsistent, maybe because info about her is drop fed instead of presented mostly all at once like with Lisa in season 6, maybe because she’s just shoved in for something for Sam to be up to and it feels ooc to me idk)

I thought I’d like season 8 (and I do really like a lot of Cas’ stuff but he’s always my favorite anyway so that was basically gaurenteed) but a lot of the stuff just makes my brain feel like a white noise machine. I’m only on episode 10 so I’m sure it’ll get better for me once the Sam stuff gets resolved but for now it’s very.... eh.

Thoughts?

okay so, what i like about dean. hm. that's hard! i love dean, for all sorts of reasons, and i know i'll miss stuff, but: - he charms me, on a sort of pure, animal level. he's very charming, that's true within the show but it's true for the audience, or at least me, as well. he's funny, he's affectionate, he's sweet, and he tries so hard. and it makes me love him - he's compellingly tragic. like dean is a fucked up guy, he hurts both himself and everyone around him because of patterns of trauma an neurosis he can't break out of. no one wants to be a bad guy, no one wants to hurt the ones they love, least of all dean, but he can't stop doing both those things. like his self-made cage of ideology, emotional repression, and control is killing him, and it's killing everyone who doesn't get away from him, and that's sad! it's awful! no one is winning except dean's self-image. he will sacrifice everyone and everything he loves on the altar of never having to re-evaluate himself. or, i hope he won't. but he might! and that's sad! it's the perfect tragedy! - second hand deangirlism due to cas kinnie disease. men will be the first person who was ever nice to castiel and then me and castiel will love them forever about it. - he is my little puzzle box and i will solve him - straightmarried gf i liked that sam ran off and tried to escape The Life in s8, that makes sense to me. i think sam really fundamentally doesn't want to be a hunter and the only reason he gives up on trying to leave post s8 is that it is impressed upon him that he's completely trapped. he can never be free. dean will always drag him back, kicking and screaming. i actually feel like sam's equivalent to lisa isn't amelia, it's jess. i talked some about that here but like. both jess and lisa were kind of synecdoches for a false ideal of the american dream, each in their own way. they're both images of suburban perfection, and what draws the winchesters to them is the desire to fit into that image.

but comparing lisa and amelia..... like, dean promises sam that he will go try to make a normal life with lisa, and then he does, because that obligation is all he has left to cling to. like dean is nothing but a miserable little pile of duties and tasks, he doesn't know who he is without a chore (see: demon!dean's total directionlessness) and lisa is the last promise he made to his brother, so he fulfills that. she's an idea to him, not a real woman. the thing he's clinging to, in sam's absence, is not lisa, but the idea of a normative suburban lifestyle. but then the moment sam shows up and voids his own last wishes, dean is like okay bye i don't need to fulfill this obligation anymore. like he was never all that interested in lisa. he didn't love her and his relationship with her was built on obligations, normative images, and anxiety over her safety, which finally resolves itself in dean horrifically violating her by asking cas to wipe her memories.

whereas sam is with amelia because he like, meets her and they form a connection. they hit it off. and sam has a pattern of like. when he wants to get away from something, especially if dean isn't around, he jumps into bed with the nearest girl who smiles at him and then forms a super intense with her. his early season one-off love interests, ruby, and now amelia. (amelia is actually kind of the last time he does that, because after season eight he gives up trying to escape for real). but what he's clinging to there isn't an image that he's trying to fit into. it's the girl herself. like he likes amelia and he wants to be around her and he dives into like. spending time with her and building a relationship with her. and like amelia is a real woman and sam sees her as a real woman. like she's a fucked up mess and so is he and they connect. like she's a bitch and she clogs her drain with limes. also #MyGirlfriendsHusbandFightsForYourFreedom. like samelia is a little boring but i don't begrudge sam that. it's almost compelling because it's boring.

i'm actually not a huge season eight guy myself but my issue with it isn't samelia.

actually, and this is a complete tangent, can i bitch about season ten for a second? like. okay. seasons eight and nine are about sam learning that dean will never let him go. that he's trapped forever in the hunting life and trapped forever with his brother, that dean will do horrific things to him in order to keep them together. and slowly just... giving up. deciding to relinquish his dreams of getting out once and for all.

and then season ten rolls around and suddenly sam makes a hypocrite of himself? suddenly sam is the one who will go to any lengths to save dean, even against dean's own wishes? NOT believable. like sam should be like. sad and fucked up about it, but letting dean go his own way. if anything, cas should be the one trying to save dean against his will, that's way more cas' move. like there's definitely a certain level of cas -> dean :: dean -> sam that exists in the show, at least in terms of protective fixation. cas is somewhat more respectful of dean's boundaries and autonomy, but he's the one with a pattern of blowing up at dean for being self-destructive etc etc.

like, sam should have been way different in s10. i don't know exactly what i would do with him, maybe give him his own distinct plot? or maybe have demon dean last somewhat longer and make "demon dean tries to kill sam" a whole multi-episode arc, i think that would slap. and then the relationship fallout from that can be many more episodes.

like imo this happened because jeremy carver got his start in season three, when sam legitimately was trying to save dean against dean's wishes, but in s3 that made sense. like, one, the brothers were much closer then, dean wasn't quite as much of a prison guard for sam, but two, much more importantly, dean's deal was sam's fault. he blamed himself. he wasn't just trying to save dean from dying, he was trying to save dean from going to hell because of him. like girl, it made sense in mystery spot. but this is not the energy you should be bringing to the table with sam in s10. ooc!

#spn #asks #anonymous

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spidersmiceandeverythingnice · 4 years ago

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Yooooo I'm so ready for that crackpot theory 👀 Batshit and Evil Nero rights all the way!!

YOOOOO I think @teatitty was also saying this - that if Nero hadn’t been Waifu’d so hard by the writers, she could’ve been one of the best anti-heroes in the series, and I feel that in my soul because I frankly think Nero has so much untapped potential, like even apart from the increasingly obvious hints that she’s the Beast of Revelations/the Whore of Babylon, you don’t need to look any further than the fact that she has Imperial Privilege Rank EX.

For reference, not even someone like Ozy, a literal god’s avatar, who considers himself far and above all other humans, who as a Servant is on par with the likes of Gilgamesh and Karna for how absolutely busted strong he is - not even “King of Kings, god-pharaoh Ozymandias, look on my works and despair,” has Imperial Privilege Rank EX.

Because as I mentioned, Nero is straight-up delusional. A lot of this manifests itself in her constant attempts to be a famous singer or actress - not realizing that she’s tone deaf, because she is Nero! The greatest artist who ever lived, who is good at everything! There’s also like, absolutely everything about Nero Bride, who represents one of Nero’s most famous IRL episodes of “madness.” Ozy knows that he has limits and weaknesses, and even though he’s immensely powerful, he knows that he can’t simply snap his fingers and bend the universe to make himself invulnerable. But Nero? Nero fully believes that she can do whatever the hell she wants, she has no flaws, and no weaknesses. So what if she never learned to use a sword, she’s the greatest emperor of Rome, she can make a sword and become a Saber-class Servant if she damn well pleases. So it goes.

But there’s also a lot of hints that Nero recognizes that she’s delusional. The plotline in the Roman Singularity with her constantly having headaches was dropped - her second skill, remember, was originally called “Migraine” before it was upgraded. She also admits at one point that her best class as a Servant is Rider - but she refuses to become a Rider-class Servant. (Because again, doing so would bring her closer to her true form as Beast.)

Nero IRL is a SUPER interesting figure. There are, actually, some who believe that Nero was semi-popular among the common people of Rome, and that there were active efforts among the upper-class to oust and discredit Nero because his political whims were unpopular in the Senate. There isn’t a lot of evidence to support the “fiddling while Rome burns” anecdote, but of course, we can’t forget the conquest of Britain, and the bride incident, the persecution of minority faiths, among other things. I wouldn’t really consider Nero a sympathetic figure at all, even if a lot of the worst stories about them were exaggerated. But this kind of plays into Fate!Nero’s characterization.

So Nero spends a LOT of time in Fate doing absolutely everything possible to avoid facing who and what she really is and desperately trying to make herself appealing and cute and charming to others. This includes becomes a Saber class Servant (I have a theory about Sabers representing forms of idealism but also they’re supposedly one of the most well-rounded Servant classes in terms of their strengths, and are considered “strongest” of the seven normal classes), trying to forcibly make up with Boudica (who should be an Avenger but that’s beside the point), downplaying her hatred and persecution of Christians and her role in the burning of Rome, downplaying her conquests and her mistakes and the callous way that she treated people around her, generally making herself into a “benevolent emperor” who was beloved by her people and fell on tragic times but always got back up again!

My crackpot theory is that we’ve never seen Nero’s true face - literally. I think that, upon dying, Nero may have had a moment where she realized what she truly is - and that includes seeing her appearance clearly for the first time. And I think that what she saw, she didn’t like. So as part of her intense image make-over, she manifested a new face for herself - the face of someone in history who was beloved, who was adored - really adored - by everyone, who was held up as a shining example of a leader. At the point when Nero was created, it was already canonical that OG Saber and Jeanne d’Arc had a strong enough resemblance that the lunatic Gilles de Rais could mistake one for the other, and Mordred being a clone of Arturia makes their similarities a given. But I genuinely think “picked” her face on purpose when she manifested as a Servant, so that more people would be inclined to like her, because she’d look like someone they already admired rather than someone they knew to fear.

(This is my Watsonian reasoning talking - the Doylist and actual reason why Nero has Saberface is because the creator wanted to surprise the fans by making a familiar-looking character act in ways that were completely unexpected. But I like my theory better.)

Anyway rights for Batshit Antihero Nero!!!

#fate series #fate grand order #fate extra #fate nero #crackpot theory hours with spidersmiceandeverythingnice GO

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true-blue-megamind · 3 years ago

Text

FAN THEORY THURSDAY – Why Did Metroman Retire?

Happy Almost-Friday, everyone! And even though Minion threatens to smother everything he cooks in old Limburger cheese each time I say it: SPOILER WARNING!

Yes, I know, it’s three a.m. and it’s technically Friday, but I’m still calling this Thursday night, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Okay, let’s be honest, Metroman is a character who seems, on the surface, to require little explanation in the film Megamind. He’s only present in the beginning and end, and we spend half the movie believing he’s dead, and we learn that Metroman has done something almost unheard of among superheroes: he’s chosen to retire. The question is: why? There is a tendency to think that he's simply a spoiled rich boy who, (in his social life, at least,) does what he wants without regard for others, but is that really fair? Or could there be other possible reasons? Well, let’s take a look at a few fan theories that may explain why he chose to abandon heroism for a music career.

Metroman Didn’t Want to Be a Hero

Although he’s clearly based on—and perhaps even poking a little fun at—the Man of Steel, Metroman was no Superman. (I mean, okay, he was technically a super-man, since he had strength, speed, and powers far beyond what a human would possess.) Except, here’s the thing: he’s not a carbon copy of the Man of Steel; Metroman and Superman have completely different lives and personalities. This remains true despite the fact that they share a similar origin—that of being aliens from a dead planet—and identical powers—including laser-vision and flight. Even their code names are comparable. However, if we look deeper, it becomes obvious that Metroman and Superman are two very different characters.

Superman is all about being an upstanding hero. Although he can be annoyingly persnickety, and sometimes displays nearly oppressively unyielding strictures about right and wrong, one thing you can say about the Man of Steel is that he’s generally integral. He is exactly what his public image portrays him to be: a Good Guy through and through. The same isn’t true of Metroman, and in some ways that makes him a more complex and interesting character.

The childhoods of the two heroes are extremely different. As I’ve mentioned in Why Was Megamind Raised in Prison, when a boy, Metroman was a bully, not only making young Megamind an outsider and the object of everything from teasing to physical attacks, but also inspiring other students to do the same. Superman, on the other hand, far from being a bully was bullied by Pete Ross. Rather than using his powers against others, he was too responsible and good-hearted to use them even against Pete Ross. Metroman is adopted by super-wealthy parents, and is essentially a trust-fund baby, while Superman was adopted by a farm family. He grows up with a good work ethic and hometown values. Indeed, this economic discrepancy continues into adulthood. As far as we can tell, Metroman doesn’t need to work and has no job outside being a superhero. Superman, conversely, has to earn a living as a journalist. Finally, in the majority of comics, Superman avoids most public appearances, unless he feels they serve some beneficial social purpose. Indeed, he goes to great lengths to keep his identity a secret and avoid the public eye as much as possible. The first time we see Metroman in the film, however, he is basking in a crowd’s adoration at the dedication of a museum in his honor. Indeed, in the original script, then called Mastermind, Metroman’s real identity seems to be widely known. (In case you’re wondering, this is where the name Wayne Smith, commonly used in the fandom, originates from.) So, we see that these character are actually very different: one is a hero strictly for the greater good, and the other, while he certainly does a lot of good things, is also in it for the fame.

This may seem like I’m being harsh toward poor Wayne Smith, but his flaws do not, in fact, make him a bad person. The issue is that we’re comparing him to Superman who, while still certainly imperfect, is intended to be a better-than-average person in every way, including moral. Make no mistake, Metro City’s former hero isn’t any sort of villain; what he is is normal. If we’re honest, most of us would be pleased by wide-spread accolades and honors. He reacts to positive fame the same way nearly anyone would because, at his heart, he’s really just a typical guy. That is the material point: Wayne Smith really only wants to be an average citizen—a music star, perhaps, but still a relatively ordinary person. In that way, he and Megamind are alike: they both desire, more than nearly anything else, to be normal. The key difference is that Megamind’s sincere and driving concern for his city also makes him ideal for becoming a hero. (You can learn more about this particular fan theory in The Warden and in Megamind and Identity.)

So, why did Wayne Smith become a Defender in the first place, then? Again, I’ve briefly touched on this in previous posts, but it appears likely that Metroman was pushed into heroism just as much as Megamind was pushed into supervillainy. Because he was a bully with superpowers, it’s likely that adults around him realized something had to be done about Wayne. Otherwise he was a danger. So, they constructed an environment—the Li’l Gifted School—where he could be conditioned to seek the praise of others as well as to fight Megamind, who had been singled out as his future nemesis. (In fact, that conditioning is probably why he opted for a career that would put him on stage, aside from a probable love of music.)

Because the path chosen for Megamind involved more hardships and pain, it’s easy to forget that Metroman was in essentially the exact same plight. However, the fact remains that these were both children, and they were both being coerced into perceived destinies they didn’t want. Neither of them were given a choice and, in the end, both of them cast off the expectations pressed upon them to become the people they really wanted to be. The difference is that, because of our natural biases, Megamind’s rise to Defender of Metro City seems more noteworthy than Metroman’s step into Mr. Average Joe. The truth, however, is that both characters were basically doing the same thing: being true to themselves.

Metroman May Have Had Health Concerns

We know Megamind and Metroman are close to the same age—although the latter appears to be about a year rather than days old when he lands on Earth—but what that age is is open to supposition. We know, however, that they are almost certainly in their thirties, probably in their mid- to late-thirties. (Take a look at How Old is Megamind for more information about that.) However, we can see that Wayne is already going gray around the temples. Of course, some people’s genetics simply cause them to go gray earlier, and that’s certainly a possibility, but one fan theory suggest there may be more going on. The idea has been put forward that Wayne’s super-speed may be having an adverse effect on him, forcing his body to work overtime to keep up. The resulting physical stress could be making him age prematurely.

That’s not the only factor to consider. As hard as heroism may have been on his body, the effects on Metroman’s mind would have been even greater. Before the events in the movie, Metro City’s authorities—and, indeed, all its citizens—became too reliant upon their superhuman hero, and as a result that hero was run ragged. That isn’t a mere hypothesis. A scene that was storyboarded but never included in the final film makes Metroman’s plight perfectly clear. We see him being called from one end of the city to the other for everything from a massive explosion to an old lady needing help opening a jar. Keep in mind that, when hearing a cry for assistance, the hero would likely be unable to tell who truly needed him urgently and who was simply making unnecessary demands, thus he would have to rush to every call he heard. Even the city’s law enforcement seems to take him for granted, refusing to take criminals he just hand-delivered to jail because they’re on lunch break. The cumulative effect is that Metroman looks nearly frantic with stress.

youtube

This is important because, aside from the obvious mental and emotional concerns, this sort of stress accelerates aging as well. According to an article in the Huffington Post, when glycation and telomere shortening, as well as the over-oxidation, are caused by enduring heightened stress for prolonged periods of time, it can result not only in graying hair and premature wrinkles, but heart trouble as well. Even the memory can be affected, as one study by the University of Wisconsin found that stress can age a person’s brain up to four years faster than normal, and contribute to cognitive problems later in life. (The study was part of a presentation—you have no idea how badly I wanted to write that word in all-caps—and is thus currently unpublished, but information about it can be found in an article from Over Sixty.)

Metroman Retired for the Good of Everybody

As you can see, in a strange way, having a super-powered Defender was actually crippling Metro City. In fact, it may be truly damaging to the local infrastructure and official organizations. Youtuber Olaf Scholtens, in his video Megamind: Power and Identity, uses the metaphor of an airplane manufacturer to explain what’s going on. (If you’ve read my own post Megamind and Identity, you’ve seen this before.) Engineers and factories put a lot of effort and expense into making certain aircraft are as safe as possible, but what would happen if they felt they could confidently assume a superhero would simply catch any plane that crashed, saving everyone on board? Safety standards would probably become far more lax, and people might be in far more danger as a result. Given the way that nearly everyone in Metro City seems to assume Metroman will always save the day, it’s possible that, within the urban area, the same thing could be happening with things like building code enforcement, large construction projects, and even public safety measures. Bridges might not be properly built, fire hazards might not be addressed, and, given the blasé attitudes of the cops in the storyboard, law enforcement officers might not even be bothering to keep an eye on things. By retiring, Metroman forced the city to become more self-sufficient again.

That, however, may not have been the only problem Metroman was trying to solve. Remember the whole discussion about the former Defender’s school boy bullying and the apparent conspiracy to turn one boy into a hero and the other into a supervillain? It’s possible Wayne may have felt remorse for the former and found out about the latter. Having battled Megamind so much in the past, he also may have realized that the blue man never actually hurt anyone, and in fact went out of his way to stage their confrontations in abandoned places. (Again, you can read more about that in both Megamind and Identity and The Warden.) It may be that Metroman real “brilliant plan” wasn’t simply to fake his death, but in doing so to prod Megamind into becoming a hero and thus accepted by society.

There is an alternative theory, put forward in a Reddit post, that Megamind and Metroman’s parents may have known one another, and may have sent both children to Earth with the intention of them becoming a dynamic duo, fighting evil together with Megamind as the brains and Metroman as the brawn. This could have been what Megamind’s father meant when he told his son: “You are destined for greatness.” While there is very little support for this in the movie, it would explain why, in the vast cosmos, both of the young survivors were sent not only to the same planet, but even to the same city.

Whatever the reason may have been, one thing is certain: there certainly is some evidence that Metroman intended his one-time nemesis to become a hero. One of his lines, after Roxanne and Megamind discover he’s still alive, supports this. You know the one. “If there’s bad, good will rise up against it. It’s taken me a long time to find my calling; now it’s time you find yours.” Then, of course, there is another line, when Music Man is watching his former enemy take the role of Defender of Metro City: “way to go, Little Buddy. I knew you had it in you.”

If Metroman really did purposefully help Megamind step into heroism, that could also explain why he didn’t stop Megamind from taking over the city—perhaps he trusted the blue man not to harm anyone and to eventually come to his senses—as well as why he refuses to overtly help defeat Titan. He does, however, clearly subtly assist Megamind, as the latter almost certainly went back to Wayne’s hideout to scan his appearance and voice into the holowatch. All of this together makes it seem quite plausible that Metroman not only wanted to retire, but also wanted the blue man to take his place.

Megamind and Metroman by White-Night-56 on Deviant Art

Maybe this means that, now that Megamind is the Defender of Metro City, he and Music Man occasionally get together to commiserate over the more difficult aspects of being a superhero and joke about the old days.

It’s also quite possible that all of these fan theories could be true. The film Megamind is, among other things, surprisingly subtle, complex, and subversive for an animated movie. Every time I dive deep into some aspect or other of the plot, I am once again impressed by the amount of thought and detail that went into this work. No wonder Megamind—and its characters—have so many dedicated fans.

#Megamind #Megamind movie #Metro Man #Metroman #Wayne Smith #Megamind fan theory #Megamind fan theories #DreamWorks #hero #Defender #Metro City #fan theory #fan theories #Fan Theory Thursday #Megamind fandom #Youtube #megamind

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linkspooky · 4 years ago

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Can I Be a Hero?

Shigaraki and Hawks are two children who started with the exact same dream, to become a hero only to take completely opposite paths in life. One raised from childhood to be a hero by the hero association, and the other raised by AFO to become a villain.

These two characters are written in parallel, as intentional hero-villain foils. They’re destined to meet in canon one day and just keep barely missing one another so until then let’s explore more of their relationship under the cut.

1. The Same

First, there are several similarities in both their characters and their origins.

They both come from abusive households. In Hawks’ case it’s only implied but, one he lives in trash and squalor with a beer bottle in the background. The dysfucntion in Hawks’ household life from an early age is obvious, to the point where having his life uprooted by the hero commission is considered a privilege because they promised to pay for everything.

Shigaraki came from what seemed on the surface to be a healthy household. His father was a succesful businessman, the family owned the house, even the in-laws were happily invited to live in the house. Hawks is implied to have grown up in isolation, whereas Shigaraki grew up surrounded by people. However, Tenko suffered from a quieter, and subtler more insidious form of domestic abuse where he was the scapegoated child of an otherwise “Happy home.” Tenko was treated as the problem child and made constantly to feel bad for suffering his father’s abuse like he provoked it by breaking the rules.

They both were born into a sort of lineage. Hawks is most likely related to the Great Theif Takami who Endeavor captured, and Shigaraki is the grandson of Nana Shimura.

They’re both adversely affected by the circumstances they were born into. Hawks’ household was probably in that condition because his father was a villain, or his father was captured and he was living on his own. Shigaraki was targeted by AFO because he was Nana’s descendant, and Kotaro carried his feelings of Nana’s abandonment with him for life and this eventually turned him into Tenko’s abuser.

They both have an event that sets them on their life course.

Tenko’s quirk activates on accident killing his whole family.

Tenko sees a truck accident and uses his quirk to save several people.

As a result of these incidents they are “saved” from their abusive households. It’s important to notice the difference, Hawks conforms by being offered a chance at education and a better life if he decides to become a hero. However, Shigaraki destroyed the household that demanded conformity from him in the first place. He becomes outcasted as a result to the point where nobody even notices him suffering on the street.

They’re both saved by predatory people who take their original names away:

Takami’s name is suppressed and he’s given a hero name instead. He’s literally renamed as a hero.

Tenko is renamed with AFO’s last name. He’s literally renamed as a villain.

On a third note they are both children who you would never look for if they went missing: Hawks was poor, Tenko was literally neglected in the middle of the street in broad daylight allowing AFO to kidnap him.

That’s even literally brought up by All Might and Gran Torino. If they had ignored Nana’s request, and actually monitored her child Kotaro and his family then Shigaraki never would have happened.

They’re both defined by their quirk, to the extent that their whole lives have been defined by it.

Shigaraki was born with a quirk suited for destruction, and this is what several characters insist that’s all he’s capable of. Shigaraki is then raised to be a symbol of fear who lusts only for destruction.

Hawks was called a genius for his quirk, and raised as a prodigy hero. His quirk is ideally suited for saving people and he’s done so his entire life. His own wish was to become a shining light that inspires everyone the same way Endeavor inspired him.

This is where they start to diverge. There’s more details I could go on about with all the differences, but I’ll summarize it like this. They present themselves as literal opposites. That is, the character they show to others. Their image. Etc.

Shigaraki is regarded by everyone he meets as a man child. He has visible scarring on his face that he hides. He’s frank and honest, and always tells everyone exactly how he’s feeling.

Hawks’ thing is being “The Man who goes too fast.” If Shigaraki never grew up, then Hawks grew up far too fast. Hawks is deceiptful, never shows his true face even though he doesn’t wear a mask. He’s considered traditionally attractive, does modeling, and is extremely popular and well liked.

2. But Different

If there’s one way to summarize the main difference between Hawks and Shigaraki it’s this. Shigaraki externalizes everything, every feeling, every little bit of trauma he has, instead of holding it all inside of him he pushes everything out. Hawks internalizes he has a rich inner world, but everything on the surface is vapid, it’s shallow, it’s just a performance for him. All of his trauma is inside of him, and he keeps it there. His real self is hidden somewhere in a cage deep within.

The reason they rely on these different strategies of expression is entirely to do with how they were raised. Hawks was raised inside of the system, and was taught confromity. Shigaraki was raised outside of the system. He was taught the exact opposite, to never conform to anybody’s standards.

They both grew up inside of an assigned role. Shigaraki was told it was his job to destroy whatever he likes, Hawks was told it was his job to save people. However, Hawks is not a better person, or a better victim than Shigaraki. Interanlization is just as bad of a coping strategy as externalization, and just as unhealthy. They are both characters who are barely coping with a lifetime worth of the trauma as being raised as literal child soldiers and exposed to so much violence a young age they’re both desensitized and numb to it. They’re hurting all the time, but also they’re numb.

They’re so similiar down to the fact that they both have the same internal desire. Shigaraki longs to be free from all of his trauma, and Hawks longs to be free from the weight of his responsibility, but it’s still the same longing.

But they are different.

It would be easy to say that Hawks is the more selfless character because he devotes himself to saving others, whereas Shigaraki is the more selfish because he lashes out at the world from his trauma. However, there’s no such thing as a perfectly selfless person. Hawks is capable of shockingly great feats of selfishness. Shigaraki is someone who can be selfless and do things for other people.

Hawks will go out of his way to destroy people too, just like Shigaraki. Hawks will destroy his own friends.

There’s a marked difference in the way Hawks and Shigaraki both treat Twice, someone who is a victim with many things in common with the both of them. Twice is someone who did not get saved and fell through the cracks like Shigaraki. Twice is someone who grew up in abject poverty and had to rely on his quirk to survive like Hawks.

Twice is constantly more of a burden to the league than an asset. He’s the reason Magne died, because his too trusting nature had him invite someone like Chisaki without knowing the risk. A normal villain would throw Twice out for his incompetent mistake, but instead he’s comforted.

Shigaraki says the two of them can work together to fix his mistake. Instead of being thrown out, he’s told he’s needed. He’s asked to stay together with the league for everyone’s sake. Twice at this point is still too traumatized to use his quirk properly. Afterwards, he fails even to duplicate Chisaki’s special bullets. However, Twice has value to the league no matter what his quirk can do. He’s valued as a person.

He’s humanized, both by Shigaraki’s and Toga’s actions together.

However, Hawks reacts differently. He dehumanizes the people who need his saving the most. When he’s at his most vulnerable, Hawks corners him and rutlessly mocks him.

Look at the opposite way they show their faces. Shigaraki shows his full face for the first time to Twice when Twice, whereas when Hawks reveals his true intentions his face is almost completely obscured.

Hawks dehuamnizes twice in two regards. One, he insists that Twice conform to his black and white standards. Hawks divides people into good people worthy of saving and bad people who are not. Every member of the league is a victim like Twice. However, Hawks only considers one of them a good person, and one of them is worth saving. Even when Twice says they’re all his friends, Hawks demands Twice betray all of them for the sake of himself. Of course Hawks would, Hawks doesn’t even know what it means to have friends.

The second way Twice is dehumanized is that Hawks only sees him as the potential damage his quirk can do. Twice is not a three dimmensional person, with reasons for what he’s doing, thoughts, and feelings. Hawks only sees him as a time bomb about to go off. This also relates how Hawks sees people in general, he always, always, always strips them down to their worth to him. Endeavor is someone he can position to be the next number one hero. Twice is someone to use to get closer to the league, and then destroy because he’s too trusting. Hawks only got close to Tokoyami because he wanted information about Class A, even though he did grow a little bit more fond of him.

Twice makes mistakes over and over again for the league, but he’s never thrown out. Even when Twice is the reason the raid is happening, Dabi rushes as fast as he can to save him, Toga almost loses herself avenging him. Twice’s life had value.

Except to Hawks.

Here we strike upon the difference between them and it’s almost entirely in how they treat the people closest between them. They’ve been raised all of their lives as tools, but Shigaraki doesn’t treat other people as tools. Shigaraki accepts people and gives them shelter, Hawks throws them out.

Shigaraki also used to be like this. He used to throw away all the recruits that AFO gave him and waste them on stunts like the UA Invasion. However, it’s something he grew past.

Which is one more difference between them. Shigaraki has this great capacity for change that Hawks has not shown us so far. They both long to be free, but Shigaraki is the only one of the two of them that actually fights against something for that freedom.

Shigaraki will always choose to make his own decisions, to be his own person.

However, Hawks is given that same choice and chooses the opposite. He wants his decisions made for him. He wants to remain inside the cage because it’s safer there.

It’s not just that though - it also extends to how they treat other people. Shigaraki liberates those he interacts with. Twice, Himiko, Dabi, Magne, Spinner, Mr. Compress (whatever his issues are) are all given a place of belonging within the league.

However, Hawks will take away the freedom of other people too. He does so to Twice. He possibly did so to Best Jeanist. He pushes others to conformity, believing that is what saves them because it saved him.

Utlimately what’s different about them is the choices they make despite their circumstances. Hawks was given a choice to be free. He’s given the oppurtunity to get better but doesn’t. Every time Shigaraki fails he learns from his lesson. Shigaraki is rising up, and Hawks is spiraling downward entirely because of the choices they made. Shigaraki has friends, Hawks has none. (Because he murdered the only real friend he did have).

That’s not to judge on whether they’re good or bad people. It’s just the direction their arcs are taking them. Shigaraki has always been on a self improvement kick, getting better with every failure. Hawks tragically is consumed by his failures and gets worse and worse, hence why there are so many references to Icarus in his character.

It’s been built up for a long time now that Hawks is going to meet Shigaraki at some point. In fact his desire to meet Shigaraki is what caused the hero raid on the PLF in the first place.

Those two are destined to meet in a Javert / Jean Valjean fashion. However, the question is what will Shigaraki do now? Hawks is someone who at least had a chance of Shigaraki sympathizing with him before because Shiga takes in all kinds of strays. However, now with Hawks chosen action to kill Twice who genuinely sympathized with him - he must have murdered off any chance of that.

Either way the two have so much in common that they have to meet. At which point Hawks’ fate will be left in Shigaraki’s hands. It’s likely even if Hawks is to be saved, it will be Shigaraki’s job to do it, because Shigaraki is the character with the most in common with him.

Either way their meeting has been building for a long time, and when they do finally meet something will change about both of them. That’s how integral both of their parallel stories are about one another.

#hawks #takami keigo #shigaraki tomura #shigahawks #the shigahawks agenda lol #tomura shigaraki #tenko shimura #lov meta #league of villains meta #league of villains friendship #mha meta #my hero academia meta #my hero academia theory

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akatsuki-shin · 4 years ago

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Review: Scum Villain’s Self-saving System (SVSSS)

Notes:

(Very) long post ahead

Contains spoiler

This is my personal review and does not represent the entire audience, you are free to agree or not agree with what I’ve written here

Feel free to reply/send me a message if there are things you want to discuss

Summary:

SVSSS tells the story of Shen Yuan, an avid web novel reader - particularly the stallion genre - who died suddenly from food-related incident after having just finished reading a famous (yet controversial) web-novel "Proud Immortal Demon Way".

Upon his wake, he discovered that he had been transmigrated into the world of that very novel, moreover into the body of the story's most-hated scum villain, Shen Qingqiu.

In his previous life, Shen Yuan had frequently criticized the "Proud Immortal Demon Way" and its author, "Airplane Shooting towards the Sky", for he found the web novel full of wasted potentials. Now having been sent to live in that novel's story, a mysterious system assigned him with a mission to fix the very plot he had been denouncing - and of course, to save himself from the tragic end of the original Shen Qingqiu, who was fated to be mutilated into a human stick by the story's protagonist, Luo Binghe, his own disciple.

STORY: 7/10

I personally have not read a lot of "isekai" stories. However, what makes SVSSS interesting to me, compared to most transmigration stories I've seen in the past, is because the main character was not thrown into a completely strange, unknown world, but rather into the universe of a novel he had been closely following up until the very last second of his life.

And what's more? He does not have complete freedom in modifying the story however he wants, but supervised by a mysterious system that will reward him for correct decisions, and punish him for wrong choices - with being deported to his original world as the ultimate punishment should his points fall below the set limit (a.k.a. he would really lose his life because he is already dead in his original world).

The fact that Shen Yuan, now living as Shen Qingqiu, possessing complete knowledge of the original story, yet still unable to foresee what butterfly effect his actions will cause to the plot and characters is perhaps the most appealing aspect of this novel.

Shen Qingqiu in his previous life was no different than us - a normal, modern young man from the 21st century. His thoughts and opinions on the situation, the way he reacts on certain matters, his internal monologues are all realistic and easily relatable. It feels as if I myself have partly become Shen Qingqiu, as well, looking at how the story progresses from a first person point of view, because if I were to be in his shoes, I would probably react in the exact same way as a modern person thrown into an ancient fantasy world.

Nevertheless, this "omniscient reader" point of view is not without a flaw. Although Shen Qingqiu himself is gradually blending in, accepting his new life in the ancient cultivation world and no longer seeing the other characters as mere "fictional characters", because his mindset is that of a modern man, I find it difficult for myself as the reader to perceive the world of SVSSS as an actual, stand-alone world. Until the very last page of the story, I still feel like I'm looking at a fictional world, feeling detached to the universe and characters because I'm not "living" in it.

Another aspect that I think could've been improved is the romance development between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe. I have full confidence that post-story Shen Qingqiu loves Luo Binghe with all his heart, but I seriously have no idea when and how he reached that point.

In the first half of the story, upon having accepted his new life as Shen Qingqiu, his feeling towards Luo Binghe is more like fondness and endearment. Perhaps he does like the character Luo Binghe, and considering that he, along with the rest of the web novel's readers, hated the original Shen Qingqiu to the core, of course he wants to treat Luo Binghe and the other characters better (otherwise, how could he save himself from that nightmarish fate as a human stick).

Later on, he learns of his mistake, how he could've made better decisions, and tried to understand Luo Binghe better, redeeming himself. Perhaps his love towards Luo Binghe began to grow along this path, but I honestly don't see it being told to me, as the reader. All of a sudden he is willing enough to "offer" himself to calm the maddened Luo Binghe. He's been proclaiming himself as a straight man all this time and never once did I see him agreeing with himself that he is going to accept his feelings for Luo Binghe. When I read this later part, I feel like I've just jumped over a huge chunk of development. Because up until that point, Shen Qingqiu still only gives me the feeling of a teacher who adores and cares for a special disciple of his.

All in all, if I were to summarized the plot, I think SVSSS is an interesting, curious story. The fact that Shen Qingqiu was tasked to fix the original novel's flaws makes me want to continue reading for as long as I can. What change is he going to make? What effect will be caused and what chain of events will follow? Furthermore, if you're looking for comedy, then you've come to the right place. With an internet-literate modern man experiencing living in an ancient, fantasy novel, Shen Qingqiu's reactions will never be boring to see. Even the banters and exchanges between characters are so realistic to the point that it is almost possible to imagine them visually.

Also, BingQiu is cute, I take no criticism.

CHARACTERS: 6/10

The distribution of that overall score of "6" is actually as follows:

3 --> Shen Qingqiu

1 --> Shen Jiu

1 --> Luo Binghe + Yue Qingyuan

0.5 --> Liu Qingge

0.5 --> Everybody else

Notice that in the previous section, I barely talk about any other character than Shen Qingqiu? It's not just because he is the main character, but because the other characters are seriously that un-interesting. In fact, I regret to say that personally, I think the characters are this novel's weakest point.

Or to be more precise, the characters' depth.

Shen Qingqiu by himself is a great character. He is calm, logical, knows when and where to put his "omniscient reader" knowledge to good use. He is effortlessly hilarious even if he himself doesn't realize it, but at the same time, despite the mountain of curses he often uses, he is still a good person at heart. I think he is the sole reason that the story could remain interesting until the very end.

But sometimes he is a bit too ideal, almost always having the correct solution and/or countermeasure to every situation even if the plot has changed massively from the original web novel that he knows. Especially when it turns out that he has discovered a way to revive himself after self-destructing at Huayue City, it makes his initially heartbreaking sacrifice less......touching. Because it feels as if he's been scheming this to be freed from the current ordeal, maybe to escape the system, as well.

Furthermore, no matter how much of an expert he was of the "Proud Immortal Demon Way" universe, he still just passed away and was transmigrated into a foreign world. Although the system initially banned him from being OOC, other than some panicky internal monologue, there was almost no trace of him looking distraught when being faced with the unthinkable situation.

Plus, Shen Yuan was different from Airplane Shooting towards the Sky who, even if he were to return to his original world, would have nobody waiting for him. The description of his family was pretty clear. Not only he comes from a well-off household, his family seems to be quite a happy and harmonious one (especially how he used to dote on his younger sister). How come there is not one single moment when he thinks about the family he has left behind and simply carries on with his new life as if nothing happened?

Now Luo Binghe, the second main lead and the one paired with Shen Qingqiu.

Before he fell into the Eternal Abyss, his character actually seems pretty solid. But post-darkening, I don't know why I can't get a good grasp of his character.

The "clingy, crybaby boyfriend" aspect is pretty clear, no complaint there (although the moments of his crying feels too comical for me). Other than that, I don't really feel the "powerful Demon Lord" vibe from him.

Yes, there are descriptions of how powerful he is, how frightening he can be. But it's just not solid enough for me. I understand that he is supposed to be a character with unstable mental, but there are simply not enough part where he is shown to be a proper, powerful Demon Lord because he keeps breaking down each and every single time. The "glass heart maiden" aspect isn't bad, but when it's used in an overly comical way, the character simply loses the charm he's supposed to have.

Even Yue Qingyuan, who's only a minor character, had such a strong charm that slaps you with the biggest plot twist in the whole story when it was revealed (to us, the readers) who he actually is.

Ironically, the original Luo Binghe (Bing-ge) was able to present the character's true image and complexity even if he only appear in less than 10% of the entire story.

And even more ironically, the original Shen Qingqiu a.k.a. Shen Jiu, is probably the most complex character to have ever existed in there (and he only appears in, what, a couple of extra chapters).

(You know what? If MXTX just goes with the original Luo Binghe x Shen Qingqiu, including all of their complexity, I think the development, conflict, and resolution could've been more deep and complex - but yeah, it ain't gonna be "Scum Villain's Self Saving System)

Liu Qingge is okay and actually quite lovable. It's just that I feel it's too easy for him to appear anytime, anywhere there is a problem, as if he's some easy way out.

Other than those I've mentioned above, I literally don't have anything to comment on the other characters because... I don't even know if there's anything to comment. They really come and go just like that and leave no big impression on me.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS: 6/10

This here is basically just some technical things that were a bit unfortunate, because if only they were improved, the story could've been better.

1. The story is clearly written from Shen Qingqiu's point of view, but it will suddenly switch to Luo Binghe's inner thoughts every now and then, making it inconsistent.

2. Description of time and environment. Sometimes it's really difficult to tell in what kind of place the scene is happening, whether it was day or night, whether the characters still remain in the same place or have move elsewhere. Transition when switching locations is also not described enough.

3. As much as I love the story, I feel like it's progressing too fast without any significant crisis. It just ends like that with no massive ordeal or mystery to be solved. I think this is related to Shen Qingqiu's "omniscient reader" point of view because it makes me feel like "hmm yeah, it's just another part of the story, they're going to go through this just fine"

Still, I understand that this is MXTX's first novel. In fact, most of the aforementioned issues (including the characters) have undergone immense improvement in her second novel (MDZS), so I don't think I have anything to worry about.

OVERALL SCORE: 6.3/10

It's worth to read, really. If you just want to enjoy a cool, funny, and cute "isekai" story, I can definitely recommend this. But don't expect some deep philosophical shit, because half of this novel is made of shitpost (I shit you not).

Moral of the story though?

See how market demand kills content creators' freedom and creativity.

Airplane Shooting towards the Sky, the author of the controversial stallion "Proud Immortal Demon Way" literally told Shen Qingqiu at the final chapter of the main story:

He's actually written deep, aesthetic stories before, but they were all unpopular. Only when he wrote this harem novel full of fan-service - disregarding plot depth, plot holes, cheap characterizations - did he finally gain popularity and was able to obtain sufficient income to feed himself.

He was grateful to Shen Qingqiu for "messing" up the plot of his novel, changing it into how it is now, because it allows everything he originally wanted to write - but couldn't - to come true.

In previous chapters, he also said that he actually wanted to make the original Shen Qingqiu into a three-dimensional, more complex characters, but the netizens didn't appreciate it and were complaining instead. Hence he was forced to make the original Shen Qingqiu into a plain old scum villain with no redeeming quality at all - even though in his original script, this character has a complex background that causes his current known personality.

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua might be talking about it in their usual, funny bantering, but who dares to say that this isn't an issue being faced by almost all content creators in the whole world?

How many content creators have been forced to sacrifice the creativity value and quality of their work in order to satisfy the taste of majority?

How many content creators have been made to revise their works by editors in order to fit into a certain agenda or market trend?

Unless you're a massively popular creator or a powerful individual, chances are you will never have the chance to create a content you truly want to make for a living.

In any case, there may be other authors who are better than MXTX in this world, but I love her works because despite the fictional content, the comedy, the silliness, etc, there are still at least one aspect that reflects the situation of the real, current world, and when you realize it, the realization can be quite a slap to the face like "hey, wait a minute, she's right you know?" See less

#Scum Villains Self Saving System #SVSSS #BingQiu #Shen Qingqiu #Luo Binghe #Review #Danmei #Mo Xiang Tong Xiu #MXTX

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dwimpala-67 · 3 years ago

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Whatever Happens....

My two cents on the whole Prequel-Gate ...

Warning: The opinions expressed are purely personal and have no bearing on any person and if they do it’s merely coincidental and are without intention. If you choose to read this, it’s solely at your own risk and the writer is not responsible for any consequences thereof.

Jared and Jensen have been at the heart of Supernatural for past fifteen years. J2 - along with the show have been the source of joy for everyone in the fandom. We’ve seen them grow up, seen their friendship evolve and seen the way they interact with each other. We fell in love with them, with the beautiful friendship they share, and their compassion and empathy and strength and understanding. These two beautiful individuals weaved their way into our hearts. Somehow, they’ve become a part of our lives. And we trusted them, like we do with any individual that is close to us in real life.

The end of Supernatural was bitter sweet for many of us, especially the J2 shippers. We could see our beloved show being ruined and we all thoughts perhaps, it was time to end it but secretly still wanted a miracle to happen and the story line to be back to its true canonical nature without the OOC story line that was being fed to us. Then came the announcement that Supernatural would end with season 15. Even if we knew the it was inevitable, it was still a shock. We have a saying back in my culture: “Whatever has a beginning, has to have an ultimate end.” And true to that, it was time for Supernatural to end. It doesn’t mean we had to be happy about it. After all, this was the show that meant a lot, personally to many of us. To see it coming to an end was painful, shocking, even heartbreaking. But we accepted it eventually because life must go on.

With end of the show, we had to accept another reality. To watch our lovely pair - Jared and Jensen- go their separate ways. For 15 years, there never has been a moment where J2 weren’t in each other’s pockets. We saw them refusing to acknowledge personal space, saw them making heart eyes at each other, saw them going on dinner and lunch dates, saw them living together, getting married the same year, saw them grow their family together, saw them living in Austin together, saw them doing campaigns together, saw them golfing together, saw them being there for each other, making each other smile, saw them having each other’s back. We practically saw their love blossoming - for some it was a unique friendship and for some it was more than that. I don’t mean to point anyone out here, but the bottom line is that everyone of the J2 fans saw an ideal relationship between two people we loved the most. We choose to believe in what we saw. And for us to suddenly see them being away form each other was hard to digest. It still is!

But we chose to believe everything was good, because we believed what our eyes saw. The way Jared and Jensen talked about each other in interviews even after the finale, the way they spoke at the virtual conventions, the way they interacted on social media and even the few instances of fans seeing Jared in Colorado exactly the time it was Jensen’s birthday, the way Jared knew about Jensen’s Soldier Boy suit before anyone else, and I could mention countless such instances that made us believe that the relationship these two idiots share was special and perfect. The kinda thing that can be called “made for each other.”

One fine day, we came to know not everything was as we believed it to be. It turned out Jensen did something by not telling Jared anything about it when the latter has been an integral part of the original concept. Everyone was beyond shocked. Each one of us felt betrayed, angered, pained at the way our beloved pair had a public fallout. Some chose to take sides and some decided to leave the fandom while others decided to be angry and disappointed in Jensen. There was despair all around and no one knew what was going on behind the closed doors. The only thing we knew was Jared was hurt and Jensen was the reason behind it.

I won’t go into the what, why and how of the whole fiasco, because by now, everyone has their own theories as answers to these questions. I have mine too. I see these theories as some sort of “justification” from our side to make sense of the situation. It’s not wrong because we’re searching for answers. We’re also searching for answers we will never get. (Unless either of the J’s decide to speak on it.) But there are a few questions that I feel are important to be addressed.

Do we have the right to feel angry and hurt over the issue? Absolutely Yes.

Do we have the right to take sides? Of course.

Are our feelings of hurt and pain that we resonated with Jared valid? Hell yes.

Everyone has a coping mechanism and the initial emotions or reactions were absolutely valid. However, it’s what happened later that has me thinking.

1. Do we have the right to know what happened behind the scenes? Probably but we would never. There lies the uncertain feeling of “how should I proceed from here?” and “How do I feel about it?”

2. Do we have the right to demand an explanation or an apology from Jensen? Absolutely no.

3. Do we have the right to throw vile words at/abuse the people involved? Hell no.

I would like to look at the whole thing in perspective. This has affected many of us and perhaps woken us up with a hard slap of reality.

For all of the 15 years, we’ve been fed with the “happy couple” image and for us, maybe the boys became the image of the “perfect couple with no issues” and when there was a very public spat between the two, there was a serious damage to our perception. This is where people didn’t know how to react. Many spoke out their emotions clearly, many were sad, confused and scared and many decided to be bitter. Few decided to leave I have no problem with it, I don’t judge, as I said earlier everyone has their own coping mechanism.

I feel like the issue is, as fans we are here to celebrate and have fun and not become entitled to know the truth or demand answers from the celebrities. Sometimes we forget entitlement is a delusion based on self centeredness. The demand to know what happened or the demand for Jensen to apologize in a particular manner cannot be the way we deal with the situation.

We need to consider the fact that the people we idealize, in this case J2, are also that - “people” or “Humans” to be more precise. Humans make mistakes. Just like we do in our everyday life. the problem with celebrities is, anything they do feels like “more than life” size. Even a small compliment makes us go “aww” and a disagreement/misunderstanding makes us go “Omg! They’re enemies.” It’s normal reaction because we hold them in the highest regard like “celebs/fan favs can do no wrong.” So, when this happened with J2 everyone had a reaction like this was the end or it has ruined it for me, or I’m done with this fandom. There were also a few reactions like anger and entitled demands. I always say false sense of entitlement always brings you doom rather than happiness.

The fact remains, Jensen disappointed all of us. A huge blow was dealt to the “happy couple” image and we all were left floundering. I was observing the reactions and I suddenly realized I’m far too much invested into the lives of two actors whose lives are already complicated. I mean, after the entire chaos, I too felt sad, angry and disappointed. It was upsetting me more that it should. Fandom is a space where I come to escape from real life. But if Fandom starts affecting my real life so bad as to make me upset, I felt like there’s something wrong. It shouldn’t be the reverse of what I would rather have the fandom to be, which is a happy place or the place where I go too relive my stress. And if the apparent relationship status of two actors affects me this much, it’s time to take a step back, evaluate and then proceed.

the other day, I was reading a twitter thread full of theories and according to the fans who was right and who was wrong and etc, etc, etc. I found, it shouldn’t matter to me to judge who was right and who was wrong. I’m in no position to judge who felt what, because in no way am I the party involved in the conflict. It’s a conflict between J2, who had some issues obviously and they manages to talk about it and even let us know that they are good. Now, I personally, felt like if the J’s claim they’re alright, then why should I doubt or even theorize about how their friendship has taken a toll. If someone tells me they’re fine, I usually believe them to be fine, unless I see something contrary to the fact. In this case, either of the J’s didn’t comment further on the matter and just as I was watching everyone calm down, other elements decided to jump into the muddy waters and splatter it everywhere.

The interesting thing about Kripke’s tweet was “assumption.” This word “assumption” is a very interesting word and has the capacity to blow up even the most calming waters. So, Kripke assumed, and then based on Kripke’s assumption, everyone else assumed. I’m just pointing out what happened, in no way am I justifying any of the J’s behavior. Just a thought. So assuming Kripke was right we assumed Jensen deliberately kept Jared out of the project and the issue escalated even more. Everyone was jumping the gun and then as miraculously Kripke has tweeted, he also deleted those tweets. Then came the damage control.

When Jensen and Jared had tweeted about the “truce” I thought the matter was supposed to be put to rest. Perhaps Kripke deleting the tweets and then Jensen going back to promoting his prequel was their way of brushing off the conflict and focusing more on what was more important to them: The Winchesters prequel. Another theory to add to the already existing million ones..lol.

Does this mean we should be hateful and abusive towards Jensen? No.

Our feelings of disappointment are valid but it doesn’t mean I have aright to be abusive at Jensen. No matter how he acted nothing gives me the right to throw abuse at anyone unless I’m the one who’s directly involved in the conflict. They way I see it, as a fan, I was hurt and caught off guard but I am in no position to judge either Jensen or Jared, especially when they say they’re alright. I decide to trust them. I choose to trust them, just I chose to decide they were the made for each other friends in the past.

There’s this another saying that I remember “To Err is human, to forgive is Divine.” It’s not as if either of the J’s have been flawless as a person. Everyone has some shortcomings and so do they. As a fan, I need to find the same level of “acceptance” that I do when I’m in the similar situation in real life. As a fan I need to accept that Jared and Jensen too are going to have some issues going ahead in life. Just because they are actors doesn’t mean there won’t be miscommunication or misunderstanding. They’re not perfect. They are bound to make mistakes. Just think that because this was a very public fallout, we came to know about the disagreement, try to think that in past 15 years how many times did the J’s had these disagreements and had to deal with them without telling us? No matter how huge fan you are, no one can ever claim that they now what goes behind the scenes in the celeb’s lives and same goes with J2.

We know what kinda place Hollywood is, and the J2 tinhats already have theories about bearding and stuff, and yet the J’s have remained positive throughout. There must have been contracts and papers and the “powers that be” who are involved in regulating their lives. It’s one of the many countless possibilities. We don’t know many things about their lives (even we’d like to claim otherwise). The information we get is just a 0.01% of what actually is happening. All we do is “assume” on the basis of their SM interaction or the way J2 appear in public. It’s all imagery.

They’ve been a source for inspiration for many. So, a public fallout doesn’t mean we should overlook the past. But we choose to look at it in a way that is suitable to us. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. If some of us feel like siding with Jared, it’s all good and if some of us feel like siding with Jensen, it’s all good. It’s their personal opinion and no one has the right to judge them or call them out for that.

For me, I’ve come to a conclusion that the secured bubble that I was living in has finally burst and given me a chance to look at things objectively. No matter what happens in future, I’m here to stay as long as I enjoy the fandom. If I let it affect me more than is plausible, perhaps then it’s time for me to rethink about the power I give the Fandom over me. Because it’s my choice. I alone have the choice to either let the negativity affect me or see the positive side. There’s a saying that goes, “You yourself alone are your own enemy and your true friend. The choice is yours.”

If J2 claim to be alright with each other, then I choose to believe them. Reason is simple. Because it helps me find some peace. It helps me cool down my emotions and helps me go back to enjoying the little things in fandom that bring me happiness.

Don’t get upset with people and solutions because both are powerless without your reactions.

Let the drama continue....

After this, if you fell like unfollowing me, the door is always open.

In the end, whatever happens, happens for good. If it’s meant to be, then I’ll be the happiest and if it’s not, well, it’s beyond my control.

I love them both.

Peace and Love.

- A J2 fan.

#j2 #winchester prequel #my opinion #j2 tinhat #I believe j2 are going to be fine #supernatural #spn #my thoughts #no hate

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dolliedarlin · 4 years ago

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a love like rodger and jessica ⏤denki k.

s u m m a r y : You and Denki have a love like Rodger and Jessica Rabbit

l e n g t h : 2k

g e n r e : fluff ; praises ; body worship ; supportive kaminari ; best boi kaminari ; precious baby

w a r n i n g s : mentions of lovemaking

p a i r i n g s : denki k x f.reader

a / n : this is a quick little headcanon I came up with at three am and needed to get out as soon as possible before I lose the will to write it. I hope you all enjoy the read! Feel free to comment and like - tell me what you think, constructive criticism is always welcome.

❥ You're a self-made millionaire, CEO of a successful skincare and beauty company, investor and supermodel. The level of success you've been able to accumulate over the years is nothing to sneeze at, especially with your young age of 21.

❥ However, you draw more eyes for your beauty and body rather than your accomplishments. It's rather annoying but you've grown used to it.

❥ It isn't a lie that you're as stunning as they come. And with a body that elicits lust and unspeakable fantasies in the men and women around you, it can be said that your beauty has more power than what any of your achievements could ever provide you with.

❥ It's disappointing how you've worked so hard but still seem to achieve so little despite the empire you've built from the ground up.

❥ You've turned many young and handsome, accomplished men down, no longer your naive self. Even with their own triumphs and wealth, you can see their true intentions when looking into their greedy eyes.

❥ They only want you for your body and only regard you with contempt - there was no love, there was no honesty, they never did anything to make you feel comfortable or smile.

❥ That was all you wanted.

❥ But, perhaps, it's too childish to think about such things now.

❥ You had given up all hope and with that loss of hope came a hardened shell that nobody could break. Deep inside your heart, you still wished for a fairy tale romance and a happy life where you could smile freely and be comfortable, which is why your piercing glare, harsh demeanor and cold speech manifested in defense of those desires.

❥ It was a normal day at work; you had several meetings to attend concerning collaborations with other brands in the morning before you needed to head off to attend a photoshoot for a magazine concerning skincare.

❥ You had just been on your way to said photoshoot, in fact, when a villain attack hastily painted an image of red and blue lights, panic, destruction, and screaming people before you.

❥ Upon realizing that you were in the line of attack, you rushed to exit your car. You have been a victim of your own clumsiness many times in the past despite their rare occurrence, but ill-luck had you tripping over in your attempt to flee, causing a stinging pain to shoot up your right leg.

❥ With your back turned and crumbled to the floor in pain, you became an easy target and didn't register the careless attack directed towards you until you heard a shout of warning.

❥ "Woah! Watch it, lady!"

❥ Behind you was the Stun Gun Hero himself: Chargebolt! You had never interacted with heroes but you greatly admired their work, heroism, and sense of justice. Keeping the peace and putting villains in jail brought on a sense of security that you never took for granted. However, you had never been more grateful for their presence than that moment.

❥ "Hurry and run away!" at his command, you attempted to stand and run off but instead was painfully reminded that during your fall, you had managed to sprain your ankle.

❥ What terrible luck.

❥ "I-I can't-" you almost sob, hating how powerless you were feeling in that moment, "I think I sprained my ankle,"

❥ You heard him mutter a curse before shouting at the other heroes on-site to cover him whereby he then took the chance to rush in carrying you in his arms and run to safety.

❥ "P-please be careful," you plea, worried about his welfare as you wrap your arms around his neck for security.

❥ "Don't worry about it!" he flashes you a toothy grin, "Just hold on tight and I'll get you somewhere safe! You can count on me!" for once in your life, even though you were still in a dangerous setting, you felt comfortable and safe.

❥ In this stranger's arms, you felt protected - it was a wonderful feeling. It made you lean even closer into him, catching a whiff of his husky scent combined with his sweat. What a pleasant aroma.

❥ Maybe you should make a perfume inspired by it and have him model in the commercial?

❥ This wasn't like you, you're embarrassed to admit. Even though you're in danger, you would still do anything to keep him close to you or see him again. You weren't some lovestruck school girl, you needed to get a hold of yourself!

❥ Finally at a safe place, he set you down as he panted heavily, "Damn, I need to get better at cardio," huffing out a breath, he checked you over, "you alright?"

❥ "Other than the ankle, I'm good," you smiled up at him, trying to convey your gratefulness.

❥ "Great! The ambulance will be here soon for any casualties so-..." he pauses. In the heat of the moment, his priority had been your safety and so he hadn't really taken the time to look at you, really look at you, and see how beautiful you were. Now that he had caught his breath, and began to process that he had carried a beauty in his arms, who was now smiling up at him, a dangerous heat crawled up his neck and blew steam out of his ears.

❥ "A-are you okay?!" had he been hit by something while he was carrying you off?

❥ "So beautiful..." he muttered, continuing to stare at you, your face, your body, even straining his ears to better hear your sultry voice.

❥ "What was that?" with a tilt of your head, Kaminari had to turn his gaze away so as not to get even more flustered and possibly die from too much blood rushing to his head. Beautiful and cute - a dangerous combination to have in a woman. He could fall to his knees and submit to you right then and there, shamelessly. It took everything in him to hold back.

❥ "Y-you're just really beautiful, sorry."

❥ For once in your life, someone was being honest with you. Yes, many people have called you beautiful but their reactions were never as raw or red as the hero standing before you. It was amusing and made you want to keep him close.

❥ "Thank you..." you had to say, he was pretty easy on the eyes as well, "you are also very handsome,"

❥ "Why thank you, pretty lady~" he sent you a playful wink which made you giggle, only spurring the male to continue his flirtatious act. It might have been out of habit or maybe it was a defense mechanism since he's never come across someone so beautiful before, either way, he was already dropping another cheesy pick up like before he realized what he was doing, "but, you know, you're very pretty and I'm cute..."

❥ "Hmm?~" you raised a brow, where was he going with this?

❥ "Together, we'd be pretty cute,"

❥ You didn't mean to offend him but you laughed and laughed and laughed, not realizing how his once grinning face had turned downcast and flourished red with embarrassment.

❥ "You have a point there," you giggled, catching the male off guard and almost making him self-combust, "whatever shall I do?~" you ponder aloud, looking at him with a twinkle in your eye.

❥ "Well...it just so happens that I'm writing a phone book," time to shoot his shot, "can I have your number?

❥ "Of course, you can~"

❥ Meeting Denki was a blessing in your life.

❥ He's a goofball with a heart of gold that was always getting overlooked by women, as he's told you on one of your many dates together.

❥ "It's their loss," you hum as you cuddle up into his side, his arm laying across your shoulders, "because you're mine now~"

❥ Truly, he was your ideal man.

❥ He never took you for granted, he was always honest, he praised you and worshipped you like a goddess and he made you feel loved and comfortable being yourself, which is what mattered above all else.

❥ In return, you were his ideal woman.

❥ You freely loved him for who he was, when people told you you deserved better than him, you shut them down quicker than a lightning strike, you actually liked his cheesy pickup lines and flirted right back. The achievements he's been able to get as a hero, you still praised no matter how small, as if he was the number one hero himself - you would even go so far as to say that he's your number one in everything. And, for a bonus, you were the beauty amoungst all beauties!

❥ All those rejections, all the insecurities he had to go through by being rejected by multiple women was all worth it because now he had you in his life.

❥ "Where have you been all my life, Denki? How did I ever live without you?" you sighed into the crook of his neck, straddling his lap as he hugged your waist and gave you a kiss on the temple.

❥ "Babe, that's my line," he chuckled.

❥ At first, he was always so flustered around you but over time, he's grown a reasonable amount of immunity. That didn't mean he stopped praising you for your achievements or worshipping your body whenever you were in bed together, however. He still did all those things.

❥ If others praise you, he didn't stop them because he knows you deserve all the praise but when he found out that you didn't take their words to heart like you did his and explained why, he made sure to be off patrol that night and kept you with him between the sheets until sunrise. For hours, he worshipped your body like a temple made of gold. Between kisses and gasping breaths, he applauded you for your achievements and assured you of all flaws you saw in yourself.

❥ That night you realised the true meaning of 'making love'.

❥ In hero awarding events, you'd accompany him dressed elegantly, with your hair and makeup done and smelling as intoxicating as you looked.

❥ "DEnKi How DArE YOuUuu!" his close friend, Mineta (you think it was), sobbed at the sight of you and him together on the red carpet as a couple. Even though they were friends, Kaminari instantly stood in front of you so as to shield you away from Mineta's perverted gaze.

❥ "Thank you, Darling~" you cooed, giving your blonde hero a kiss on the back of the neck before nuzzling in between his shoulder blades.

❥ On the outside, Denki allowed himself to grin and pull you into his arms with a cool air about him, seemingly unaffected by your actions but you knew him better than that. It was only because cameras were around and he needed to keep up his image. Inside, he was melting into a puddle of goo and you know it. He, very well, could've brushed you aside to appear better like all the other men you unfortunately dated before but, instead, he makes you feel special and loved.

❥ "I know I'm the luckiest guy in the world but please be more respectful Mineta," his arms tighten around you securely, shielding your curves from prying eyes. Appreciating the gesture, you turn his face to capture him in a kiss. It's a kiss that still makes his knees weak even after months of dating.

❥ "Let's go to our seats, dear," you lead the blonde away by the tie, knowing how your kisses can sometimes leave him releasing small bolts of electricity from his palms and fingertips. It was cute how a simple kiss could turn him as dumb as he was when he overused his quirk would, only in a slightly different way.

❥ Vice versa, whenever you had a big company party or event, Denki always made it so that he could attend the event with you. He wanted to be there to protect you and shut the men down who tried to approach you with ill intentions.

❥ With your human Pikachu around, you came to love going to events. It was a time where you could dress up just for him and eventually get undressed by him the moment you arrived home.

❥ Endless praises, endless love, endless comfort, endless laughter. That was what it felt like to be with Denki.

❥ He was your Rodger and you were his Jessica

bnha mlist .

#bnha kaminari #kaminari x reader #denki kaminari imagine #kaminari headcanons #denki x reader #bnha denki #denki fluff #kaminari fluff #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons

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let-it-show · 4 years ago

Text

Pillow Talk

So this is sort of a weird one, @junglekiing did a doodle request for me here, and I asked if I could do a drabble for it. I had totally intended to go with the drawing on the face since I asked for it, but I got swept into their tags about Anna hiding the pillows. Except my brain said Elsa should still be mad and I needed to release some angst anyways. As for what happened that was so bad? Well, I don’t know, I wasn’t there! ------------------------------------------- Such a little thing did not have to grow as out of control as it did. But it did blow up, and Elsa had seethed as she marched to the bedroom that night. Her anger increased upon shining the lamp light on the bed and seeing Anna had been up to her favorite trick of hiding the pillows so Elsa was 'forced' to snuggle more with her. Anna never had to coerce cuddles from Elsa, normally. That night however? Elsa was too angry.

She changed to her nightgown and crawled onto the nicely made, pillow-barren bed. Well, there were two. They were the two she knew Anna had planned on hogging while Elsa curled into her. The joke was on Anna though as Elsa had left dinner early and now she was crawling under the thick cover of the blankets and letting her head sink into the top plush, violet pillow with the other pressed under it. Anna would have to get the pillows out of hiding. Or hell, she could sleep in her own room she'd abandoned months ago.

Elsa really hoped she didn't do that.

She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to turn into the pillow as much as she could without it smothering herself. The lamp still offered soft light; it didn't bother her. It occurred to her a familiar sound was missing - the crackling of the fire. The warmth of course didn't matter to her, in fact the room was probably chillier than usual due to her mood, but the sound had always been calming. Well, she wasn't getting up to start it. She could only hope she managed to fall asleep and maybe her head would be clear in the morning.

But she didn't sleep. A mix of frustration and the lack of the soft, warm body of her sister against her own had her too distressed to sleep. Elsa laid there, even as she heard the door carefully open and close.

"Ooh, cold..." Anna's voice. In an instant Elsa felt guilty for not starting the fire but she stayed still, on her side and facing away from Anna with her eyes squeezed shut. She wasn't going to be talking to her that night.

"Elsa? Are you awake? Please, we need to talk, I'm sorry. You know I didn't-I wouldn't have done that on purpose."

The words went right to her heart. Anna was right. She would have never hurt her on purpose. Still, Elsa wasn't ready for it so she continued to stay silent, trying to focus on making her breathing even. In the morning she'd sort herself out and talk to Anna. Maybe it was childish, but Elsa wanted to process her thoughts longer.

She also really, really wanted Anna to stay, but said nothing.

"...I guess you're asleep. It's cold in here." The words were followed by a sigh, and then the sound of a little sniffle. Anna was upset, and Elsa scrunched her eyes tighter shut as if it would drown out the bit of guilt threatening to bloom.

Luckily she had more sounds to focus on. Anna starting up the fire and the sound of a frustrated hiss when it didn't catch right away, that was enough for the time being. She latched onto those sounds, forming a mental image of Anna getting the fire started, the frustration in her face as it took a few moments. Then she heard the fire catch and a quiet 'yes!'. Elsa almost smiled as she pictured Anna's little smile and the way she would bounce on her feet.

The next noise she picked up with the fire crackling was Anna's footsteps, going across the room to fetch her nightgown. She could hear some shuffling as she changed, and tried not to picture that. The last thoughts she needed were of Anna's freckled skin in the light of the fire, pulling her dress free of her body. Usually when she undressed Elsa was admiring her, with her words, or hands, or both. She craved the softness of Anna's lips against her own but she still couldn't bring herself to let down her guard and roll over.

"I can't believe you're able to sleep," Anna grumbled, her voice thick, and soon Elsa heard her approaching the bed. "I won't be able to. I think. I am pretty tired..."

Cute. Cute cute. Then Elsa thought about what happened and felt embarrassment and anger grow again. As cute as Anna was, Elsa was so mad.

Elsa was jostled slightly as Anna pulled the blankets around and slipped in next to her. She groaned. "I forgot about the pillows! Oh no...I guess I'll just go without."

She probably didn't want to wake her, but Elsa really wished Anna would get a pillow. She deserved to sleep - or worry - in comfort at the very least. Elsa could always claim Anna getting in bed did wake her and hand her one of the pillows, but then Anna would want to talk and she just wasn't ready.

But she also wasn't ready for what came next.

Anna sniffled again, and then began to quietly sob. There was slight movement against the blankets, which meant Anna's body was jerking from the sobs. While she was clearly trying to be quiet and still, she couldn't silence herself entirely.

Maybe she should give in. What satisfaction would it bring her to know her sister and soulmate was crying next to her in the bed? Yes, what she'd done was mortifying, but did that make it right for Elsa to ignore her? What if the situation were reversed?

Well, Anna would have handled it better. She may have been miffed, sure, but Anna was a bit more of an open door in that area. Elsa might have gotten a scolding, maybe even she would have a favor extracted from her, but she wouldn't have whipped up a blizzard in a room of the castle and then used it to storm out of the place. She also wouldn't have glared at her over dinner or...or made her feel small.

'I really am a cold bitch', Elsa thought to herself for a second before a sob erupted from Anna.

It wasn't particularly loud, it's just that she had also choked out a word in a whisper: "Elsa..."

Her resolved vanished in an instant, as if it never were. She flipped onto her side facing Anna, lifting her head as she did so. She reached under it for one of the pillows as Anna's eyes went wide and her mouth hung open in surprise. Elsa pushed the soft pillow toward the beautiful, crying girl next to her. "Here," she said softly, taking in what she could see of Anna's features. Anna had also laid on her side, facing Elsa. She had curled her knees up under the blankets.

The lighting was dim enough that she couldn't see the tracks of her tears, but it did nothing to convince her they weren't there. Anna hesitated, staring at her. "Elsa...? I woke you, I'm so-" "Please, don't apologize," Elsa whispered to her. She had nothing to be sorry for. Well - okay, that wasn't true in the slightest, but Elsa knew. She knew how terrible Anna felt, and how hard she'd try to make up for it. She didn't have to do a thing.

Slowly, Anna took the pillow and tucked it under her own head. "Um, okay. I...well...

"Hush, Anna." Elsa stayed turned toward her. She didn't want to talk while they were exhausted. And - and she didn't have that energy to be angry. She couldn't give Anna the cold shoulder in their bed, knowing how upset she was. Elsa's own behavior toward Anna had certainly been less than ideal...for over a decade...

The poor girl had just made a mistake and after a couple of days it would already be on its way to an very stupid feeling story they'd recount in later years. Because, yes, there would absolutely be later years and Anna hadn't changed that.

Elsa reached across the very small space between them, searching until she found one of the most valuable treasures in the world - Anna's hand. She clasped it and squeezed tightly before intertwining their feelings. "It can wait until morning, but I can't wait that long for you. I love you so, so very much," she murmured and it felt like a release. Elsa hadn't even realized her body was so tense but she found herself melting into the bed, sinking into the intense devotion that flowed from her sister.

Yes...it was indeed a far better choice than keeping her back turned and isolating in her own mind. Everything was better with Anna.

Anna continued to sniffle a little, and Elsa understood. Guilt and anxiety didn't subside so easily. "I love you too Elsa! I love you a lot..." she managed, squeezing Elsa's hand. She did so just as tightly as Elsa had, like she was holding onto her.

Elsa gently tugged her closer, trapping their hands between them as Anna's body still curled, but into her sister's. When her soft hair was tucked under Elsa's chin, Elsa's eyes closed. Just like, that she could feel sleep finally reaching out to her, stroking her soul to a much needed slumber.

Maybe in the morning they're talk about it, maybe not. In that moment Elsa only cared to fall asleep next to Anna, and nothing else was of much importance.

#Elsanna #drabble #angst #pIllOWs

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