#and im wondering if i should say fuck it and get it professionally done instead

[hxlcyon]

maybe... it's my destiny to be a xiao lover.. nay.. maybe.. even.. xiao himself..?

[nat-20s]

8 for jmart?

#8- constantly cheacking their messages for words from the other

what else was I gonna do? here's some classic ol' season 3 pining babey

Hello Martin. This is Jon. I have gotten a new phone after losing my last one, please put in the new number.

It's a simple message. Straightforward, factual, and utilitarian. There is no reason that pressing send should make his heart race. There's especially no reason that the second he sends it off, he's tempted to lie on the deeply uncomfortable, likely bedbug infested motel mattress staring at his screen until he gets a response. Sure, he's sick of being overseas, and he's sick of being so isolated, and he's sick of running, but he's not...desperate for what little companionship can even be provided by words on a screen.

He does miss Martin, though. He misses Tim as well, but in a manner that's significantly more complex and knotted than the simple desire to be around him.

God, when did he start wanting to just be around Martin? He started being aware of that want when he was at Georgie's, but he has no idea when the want itself actually started. That was probably something he should examine. Technically speaking, that is something that he has time to examine, but he doesn't want to examine right now. Right now, he wants the comfort of perhaps one of the only people out there that doesn't want to kill him, or use him, or both.

Martin, whether through somehow sensing Jon's discontent from nearly 4000 miles away or, more likely, through a general dutifulness inherent to his character, only takes a few minutes to reply. Oh good! it'd been a little bit since hearing from you, we were somewhat worried. putting you in my contacts as we speak :)!

Saying that "we" were worried is almost certainly generous on Martin's part, but Jon feels no need to point that out. Instead he turns on his side and stares at the phone. He particularly focuses on the smiley face, ridiculously charmed by the fact that, despite everything, Martin hasn't lost his predilection for emojis. Two years ago, he would've rolled his eyes, maybe thought something snide about professionalism. It wouldn't have been fair, as Tim used to do the same thing and he thought nothing of it, but he wasn't fair back then. Now, he simply wonders if he can get away with sending one back.

Before he can respond, Martin sends another message. Are you actually alright? I realized I was kind of assuming that losing your phone was the only reason you were MIA, but is anything else going on?

Damn. He tends to forget how perceptive Martin can be. What, exactly, Martin had perceived in that first message, Jon couldn't be sure, but apparently there was something that tipped him off to the..eventful last week he'd had. He really, really doesn't feel like getting into all of that right now, especially not over text, so instead he replies a mostly truthful I'm fine.

Then, squinting at the screen and realizing that might come across as a dismissal, he adds, Well, other than trying not to contemplate the general sanitation practices of a motel that clearly hasn't updated it's decor since the 70s. I'm suspecting the sheets are much the same.

He doesn't know how Martin will react to the message. He can't see the face he'll make, won't know the tone of his voice. However, he likes to imagine that Martin will at least smile. Maybe he'll even give that breath of a laugh, the one that sometimes happens when Jon's being lightly acerbic and it's not directed at him. He doesn't know, but he does hope for it. Martin texts back Oof. Maybe sleep on top of the covers tonight, yeah?, and Jon thinks that he might have guessed Martin's reaction correctly.

Christ, who knew all it took was a combination of jetlag and threats to turn him into a sap. He needs to sleep. He really needs a deep, proper, uninterrupted sleep, one lasting a minimum of eight hours and ideally closer to fifteen. Checking the time, it would be a fairly reasonable time to sleep, especially with the early start he has tomorrow. He considers sending off a quick good night message, but then has the realization that as reasonable as it is for him to be asleep right now, it's just as unreasonable for Martin to be awake. Are you alright? Good lord, Martin, it's almost 4am over there. Did I wake you?

Barely 30 seconds pass before he gets back no, you're good!

A beat, then a follow up message. I've had a irregular sleep schedule since I was like 16. A lot of evening and night shifts had a lasting impact u know? Working at the institute made it a bit more consistent but it's still p rare that i sleep the same eight hours night to night.

Jon's starts to text back something sympathetic; he's had his own struggles with both in- and hyper- somnia, but his phone buzzes in his hand before he can finish it.

Sorry! That was uh probably more information than you wanted.

Well, that just won't do. Even if there wasn't a part of his brain that had recently started collecting facts about Martin like they were precious jewels instead of mostly mundane stories, he doesn't want Martin to think he can't talk to him about things outside of the standard bounds of coworkers. Not at all. We're friends, Martin, I enjoy learning about you.

His brain wants to catastrophize the second he presses send. For the first minute that Martin doesn't reply, he doesn't let it. After the second minute, he allows the minor worry to become more severe. Had it been too much? Were they friends? Jon certainly thought so, but what if Martin wasn't in the same boat? Their interactions had been entirely friendly for months now, but what if that was just Martin being polite? God, what if Martin still thought of Jon as his boss, nothing more?

Ten minutes. It takes ten minutes for Martin to finally respond, and Jon has almost called him four times to explain himself. Ten minutes, and the first response is only Oh!

Then: Cool

Well, that's not a "piss off and die", but it's not exactly comforting. Jon doesn't know how to reply, staring at the words on his screen and not entirely sure if he's fucked up or not. Fortunately, Martin's not done responding, and the next message is much, much better.

Hey uh. Feel free to say no I know it's getting late over there but. Im not getting back to sleep for the rest of the day and itd be nice to actually hear you. Would you be okay with a call?

Without a moment's hesitation, he texts back Yes!, exclamation and all, because he's become someone he barely recognizes. The phone rings just as immediately, and he feels his entire body relax at Martin's first "Hello?"

Things are difficult right now. Things have been difficult ever since the promotion that was a curse in disguise. The world is filled with monsters he barely understands. He wishes he was home despite the fact that he barely recognizes it, as filled with tension and strife as it is. There's so much to discuss, so many things they should be hammering out. But right now, the threats are not pressing. Right now, he can hear about the bad true crime documentary Martin half-watched before he got Jon's texts, and Jon can bitch about the three different "pip pip cheerio" comments he's gotten since coming over seas. Right now, and for the hour before Jon drifts off, breathing slow and deep, he can pretend that this is an ordinary phone call, in an ordinary world, between two people who simply miss each other an extraordinary amount.

[dangerous-fighter-fairy]

Angry aro/ace rant incoming

Okay I see WAY too many aro/ace posts and memes centering on the idea that we’re valid and I just wanna say: I know that. I fucking know that. I know there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m very adamant about the fact that nothing is wrong with me. I get it

I understand that lots of people need to hear that and see that and stuff but it’s over half the content I see from aro/ace accounts. It’s just “remember you’re valid” I can’t forget, it’s the only thing you actually talk about aside from when people tell you you’re too young or you don’t know what you’re talking about or whatever. Argh

You know what I would like to see more than just “you’re valid” over and over again? People actually fucking talking about what it’s like to be aro/ace. Like how terrifying it is to be on a date even if the person is the nicest most harmless person ever and they’ve never done anything wrong in their life but the bad part of it is the fact that you two are on a date and people might see you and assume you’re on a date.

How crazy it is when it hits you occasionally that “oh wait, the majority of people on earth over a certain age walk around wanting to get banged and thinking about how they can accomplish that and some of them might view you as someone they could do it with” and how not only frightening it is to be viewed as a potential sex object (IM A PERSON NOT A DOLL DO NOT INSERT ME INTO YOUR FANTASIES I DO NOT WANT TO BE THOUGHT OF IN THAT MANNER) but also how crazy it is to think that to them, you’re the weird one for not feeling that way when to you, they’re all very very strange for being like that because to you, it’s a foreign concept (or even if you understand or feel it on some level, it’s not exactly in the same way).

How it feels to read scientific texts and see people say the basic survival instincts include, fighting, feeding, fleeing, and fucking and some part of your brain registers that, according to this piece of text that was seen as accurate enough to get published, you’re missing an important survival drive that most people have. This leads you to either wondering if the scientists are getting something wrong or if there’s something wrong with you on some level because you’re perfectly healthy and happy without a (strong) sex drive but according to a lot of professionals worldwide, you shouldn’t be. Either sex drive has been categorized as more important on the hierarchy of needs than it should be or there’s something wrong with your hypothalamus.

How terrifying the thought of your friends leaving you for romantic partners is? How afraid you are of losing everyone to their s/o? How you know that to some people, you’re just not important enough to live with or to be seen more than once a month because the person or people they’re with is viewed as inherently more important and their bond is more meaningful? It’s so easy to think that people who leave their friends for their partners are lame and not worth it but the reality is that a LOT of people prioritize their partners over their friends and some of those people mean too much to you to let go of simply because you can only be second at best.

Can we actually talk about what being aro/ace is like more often instead of only reminding people that they’re valid? Maybe I’m just being hit with those posts and nothing else but I would really like to see some people actually discussing this stuff in depth.

(If anyone knows of any accounts that frequently talk about it please send them my way, I need aro/ace discussions so badly)

[theyarebothgunshot]

this is exactly how it went down in my head.

misha: hey, everything okay? do you need me to do something?

jensen: no, lay low. we’re figuring it out.

misha: got it.

— the next day —

misha: things settled. should i say anything? draw attention? stay neutral?

jensen: you don’t have to, but if you want, tread lightly. we’ve had enough chaos.

misha: say no more.

when nobody got your back you KNOW dmitri got your back.

ANYWAYS i turned my back for TWO MINUTES and y'all went the fuck off in my inbox so, you know the drill: more under the cut

NO BUT JENSEN’S RESPONSE LMAAAAAO honestly fallout theory is so on oh my God I can’t stop-

on god they are so loud like-

Worst damage control i've ever seen. god bles.

so true bestie

I think Jensen probably just wants to be done with this petty little drama, so if he has to pretend everything between them is okay he is going to be the bigger man and lay it to rest. Whatever is going on between them he definitely doesn't want to sort that out on social media and the earlier he pretends everything is sorted out the earlier people will forget about it again.

Also it's kinda funny how J*red Tweet was like implying they had a misunderstanding but still talk to each other regularly, while Jensen went full on the we grow apart a little bit, because we were busy, let's catch back up. Makes me wonder if they actually talked or if there managers just said hey that's not good pr, let's put that to rest. Also did J*red know before yesterday that they had a falling out or did he just not realize.

- 🐌 anon

literally jensen went out of his way to say 'uhhh we never talk, worstie' god if pr management is involved then they did a bad job. also j*red still does not realise they have fallen out. jshfjdsfh

Jackles was like God bless but we ain’t talking like this worstie

good for her.gif

csdsc heeft gevraagd:

All I need now is for Misha to tweet “ is it safe to come out now?” And I’ll be complete lmfao 😂😂😂

that would have been better than what we got lmfao

I have one fear and it's Jensen being forced to add j*red to his show and his other projects because he couldn't stop whining like a baby,,, ugh i hate him

i pretend i do not see

Kinda selfish of me tbh but i don't want them to be "friends" again, Jensen sweetie run as fast as you can

co-signed

Ok Jensen's answer to Jared tweet made me feel so bad for him. Like, I can see it's damage control and public relations (obviously) but there's stuff behind it. I can't name it, but idk, I felt terrible for texas man this time, I don't think that reply was written with a "love and light energy" or even without much care. I felt some heavy vibes.

- 🌻, who is now a fortune teller and a prophet apparently

yeah i feel hella bad for him to, for having to deal with this shit. nonnie please if you ever have anything to predict, lemme know sjdfhs

You know Jensen's tweet has the energy of like kindergarten wenn an other kid started a fight with you and the kindergarten teacher wants you to forgive each other and hung it out and you really don't want to, but your kindergarten teacher is being annoying and he isn't worth the annoyance either.

- 🐌 anon

you are not wrong

Incredibly thankful that I have the day off from work 😂 I'm with hatching chick anon, the 3 dots read as passive aggressive/insincere to me, and I love it! I haven't spent this many hours on tumblr since I first discovered cockles! (On a side note, the lack of fimmf posts today has me feeling like it's not friday lol) -🐢

i, too, miss fimmf but alas things happen, they do they do they do

I was right. :(

It got almost romantic...

👀

nonnie you know i love you but this is really not the case, like, at all??? idk how you could look at those tweets and think it was almost romantic. it was THEE most scripted, pr bullshit ever. it was staged and fake. idk what else to tell ya

Danneel liked Jensen's tweet

i saw

That is so so awkward I feel so sorry for all of us being exposed to this and so happy I chose to leave the Internet for half a day - tea anon

god bless your stance on that cause i would have hated missing out on this lmao

You know what? I think it’s okay being a 38 year old moron if you’re bringing us this type of content

im happy with the food but still think its not okay tbh

pspspsps Misha this is the perfect day for you to drop the gay Cas essay pspspspsp it is still pride month pspspsps

you know you want to king pspsps

So that JIB6 link (I think it was from your post, right?). I went and watched that bit, and a little more.

Jensen makes a comment about Jared being first on the call sheet because Sam was supposed to be the main focal character.

And that him nor Misha cared about what number they were, so in all that time it never changed.

And I’ll be… if that just doesn’t perfectly sum them up and their feelings on things. And how a certain someone can be petty… 🦚

idk if it was from my post? but maybe? my analysis probably? but yeah things are making more and more sense huh

Ohh that's also an alien? Welcome to the extraterrestial family then, purple alien anon!

Also it's probably because I'm coming off the high this drama gave me but I'm not looking forward to them trying so hard to convince us everything is normal between them. Even though we now Know, they will have to keep pretending. Today (yesterday?) was a shitshow but some masks fell off, at least for a moment and I kinda wish Jensen was less professional 😂

👽

oh for real, fallout theory IS confirmed and nothing they said today will change my mind, it only made me believe in it even more lmfao and with that in mind i am just gonna sip my tea if they try to be buddy buddy on main again

I THINK MISHA UNRETWEETED BUT HE TWEETED "LOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH" I'M LOSING MY DIGNITY HERE - tea anon

yeah he now answered them sjdfhsjfhsf instead of rt

MISHA COLLINS IS A KING I STAN THE RIGHT MAN

YOU SURE DO

I just know Misha’s process was oh crap I have to let people know I’m supporting them and I can’t choose sides. Ok. Retweet. NO. Delete. I love both of you. Yes, good.

sjdfsdfh this makes me think of that post that dissected jackles' birthday post for misha where he used the heart. 'call him bro, that makes it less obvious. nailed it.'

Lol I'm off for a few days and come back to total chaos... God I missed it here

Like the "et tu... #bravo" tweet? Made my day! Frikking hilarious (every time I see it I picture J*red with a pissy frech accent saying it out loud lol) it's just such an incredibly petty hissy fit he threw (I know he tweeted more later on but... Really all that stuff coming afterwards just sounds like damage control)

Missed you Rose

-🐻

LOVE the french accent detail im gonna do this too sdjfhsjfh missed you toooo!!!!

Oh man Misha is really gonna get hate for that I KNOW IT

sigh well. nothing he isnt used to by now, unfortunately

i mean i believe they feel like brothers, but constantly falling back on the “brother” thing to keep up appearances is really starting to feel like “#spnfamily” at this point.

honestly brothers can be very annoying, or so i have heard, so it fits with the fallout theory lmao

They actually said if we’re gonna make this gay we cannot have Jar*d Pad*lecki involved

oh my God this is the funniest timeline to ever exist God bless I’m just waiting to canon bi Mary

king shit tbh

[world-of-aus]

Behind the Screen - (Part 7)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 

Warnings: 18+

Author’s Note: Is anyone else confused on there days, because i literally thought today was Monday and i thought i was on schedule only to realize it was actually wednesday! So sorry for the delay, i’m debating moving around the day updates for Behind the Screen to Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday & Family Matter’s will be Monday, Wednesday and i’m also aiming for Fridays, im thinking if i make this change it may help me feel caught up! With finishin up our year, and being a fulltime mom updates are a little hard, but im trying! As always tag-list are still open for both BTS & FM, so if you’d like to be added just send me a message or ask. Thank you all so much for reading and enjoying the work i put out!

Part 6 / SERIES MASTERLIST

“How bad is it?” Bucky groaned head resting in your battered hands.

“I’m pretty sure it’s broken, I don’t think I can set this,” you sighed gnawing on your bottom lip in worry as you assessed his injured nose, “Buck I really think we should get you to med bay, why didn’t you go there first before coming here, I'm not a medical professional.” You muttered applying more pressure to the soaked cotton hanging from his nostrils.

“take my nose between your fingers will you,” he grunted nasally.

Bucky was having trouble breathing, through his more than likely broken bloodied nose, the hot air from his mouth fanning over the palms of your hands where they rested on his cheek, “buck seriously this is broken, let me get you down to m-”

His fingers looped into the tops of your leggings, pulling you into the slot between his tense thighs, “stop with the med bay, I'm not going and you're not taking me,” he wheezed, “set it for me, you do it to Steve all the time,” he murmured.

You stared at the bloodied man before you in bewilderment, “Buck that was once and it was his shoulder, we’re talking about your nose here,” you voiced exasperatedly, “what if I break it more than you’ve already managed to do!”

“Sweetheart,” he grunted, the word going straight through you, “will you just straighten it up, I can’t fucking breathe.”

You knew you shouldn’t, but you also knew how stubborn Bucky could be when he was this badly messed up after a mission, and man was his brooding showing through, and where there was brooding his stubbornness was sure to be as well. There was just simply no arguing, you would be here longer than needed if you didn’t just do what he was asking.

“count of three?” you questioned.

He nodded his head, his fingers holding onto your waist as he pulled you in a little closer, “alright,” you took a breath, “one, two, th-” your thumbs pressed into the sides of his noise, fingers pushing on his nose, a crack sounding below your fingers as you pushed it back into place.

“Son of a bitch!” he growled, “what the fuck doll, I said three!” he grunted his fingers pressing harder into your skin sure to leave a mark. His head fell to your shoulder, his breathing labored, “Buck had I counted to three you probably would have moved away at the last second.”

“I wouldn’t have, should have just done it myself,” he muttered.

You couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped past your lips, “m’sorry buck, but if you had gone to med bay like Steve had advised when you guys landed instead of catching me in the hallway maybe they would have been gentler with you,”

Bucky lifted his head up from your shoulder then, “maybe I wanted you to be the one to tend to me, have you not read those types of fics of mine?” he questioned a teasing tone to his voice.

Laughter fell from your lips, “I'm regretting ever letting you find out, I mean how long has it been now and you still tease me about it?”

A low chuckle fell from Bucky’s lips as his eyes looked over your face, you felt so exposed in that moment, “Wouldn’t say I'm teasing you in that way doll, but I am teasing you in another way,” he replied his voice dropping to a whisper.

You cocked your head, eyebrow raised, “Buck” you warn, “don’t you star-”

His hands are cupping your face then, thumb running over your lips silencing you. He’s staring at you in a way that has your heart stalling in your chest, your knees going weak. He’s leaning forward then, bringing you in closer, his breath ghosting over your parted lips.

His name falls from your lips in a silent whisper, his lips close the distance between the two of you. The kiss is slow, un-rushed like the two of you had time. His tongue runs along your bottom lip, coaxing you to let him in. Your fingers are curling, looking for something to bury themselves in, you push further into his open legs your hands sliding up his chest where they weave their way into his long locks. You’re pushed against his warm broad chest, lips magnetically drawn to his as your tongues continue to dance, delicate moans spilling from your lips into his.

The need for air becomes too much in the wake of your heated kiss as you draw your head back, a gasp falling from your lips as you suck in a lung full of air. Bucky nuzzles your neck then, placing delicate kisses along your awaiting skin. His hands have found their way to your hips, fingers gliding along the hem of your shirt slipping under to feel the soft skin that lays there. Your hands still weaved in his hair, are pulling his head back to you, your lips connecting with his again. The kiss is not like the first, this one is fiery, demanding, your senses having been clouded over with want, a need building up within.  

He speaks your name into your lips, you heart fluttering wildly in your chest from the sound, never had your name sounded so wonderful falling from someone’s lips as they did his. Your leaning in again when three sharp knocks to your door have you both jumping apart from one another,  

“y/n,” Steve's voice calls out, your head falls against the wall, a silent groan falling from your lips.

“is Bucky still with you, he’s needed for a debriefing,” his muffled voice adds through your closed door.

From where your leaning against the wall, your eyes look over to Bucky his face unreadable, and you wonder if Steve has managed to do it yet again. A gentle sigh leaves your lips as you push off from the wall, “Just finished Steve,” you lied not daring to look in Bucky’s direction, “I’ll send him right out to you,”  

No words are spoken as you move around Bucky’s unmoving form from where he sits on your bathroom vanity.  You can feel his eyes on you as you pick up the bloodied cotton and wrappers thrown around him. You want to say something, but your words are failing you, all that you can think to speak is “Steve’s waiting Buck, you should go before he comes looking for you again,” you murmured continuing to clean the already clean counter. The sigh that leaves Bucky’s lips has you looking up at him, your breath catches in your throat at the storm on Bucky’s face. Not wanting to stick around to be caught in it, you did the only thing you could think to do in that moment, you walked away to busy yourself and your racing thoughts.

Bucky wants to reach out to you the second he sees your face falter, he wants to stop you, make you stay, tell Steve to fuck off, but he knows you, he knows what you’re doing inside that head of yours. So he lets you go, let’s you walk away from him, even though he wants nothing more than to pull you back into his arms. Walking out your door to go to the debriefing with Steve was the last thing that he wanted to do.

He shouldn’t be thinking about you while Steve babbles away of the disarray of today’s mission, but he can’t get you out of his mind. Bucky’s mind is solely on you, on how you look, feel, everything about you, and he’ll be damned if he gets an earful from Steve on not being focused, which it does.

Bucky can’t get out of the meeting room quick enough, waiting for everyone else to leave the room before he does so as to not throw them off when they see him run off in the other direction. He’s quick to walk the halls, feet pounding down the slick tile like a man on a mission.

He stops in front of the door, his mind and heart racing wondering if he should just turn around, tuck tail, and go back to his room. He doesn’t want to though, he wants to put himself out there, he wants to put himself in arms reach for you, he wants to do these things with you, he wants you. He doesn’t allow himself to over think as he turns the doorknob, pushing your door open.

Bucky freezes door open midway as he spots you standing in the middle of the room a single white towel wrapped around your wet skinned form. Your eyes are wide, finger clutching the towel tightly, his name is falling from your lips but he doesn’t quiet register it in the haze of his mind. He’s moving forward then, the door swinging closed behind him, as his feet carry him to you.

“Bucky,” you whisper in question stumbling back slightly from the intensity of his gaze. He’s watching you, the rise and fall of your chest, you shouldn’t have this effect on him, but you do. He draws closer to you, his hand rising up to push your damp hair from your face, his fingers curling behind your head, keeping you there. The smell of your body wash lingers on your skin, the scent of coffee and coconut tickling his nose. He’s pushed against you now, his body turning yours as he backs you up into your bed. The back of your legs hit the bed first, your form stumbling, Bucky's hands are gripping the towel as it falls from your body, your back hitting your sheets.

Your cheeks are burning as you look up at him like a deer caught in head lights, your hands scrambling for your sheets to cover your naked form, but Bucky’s voice stops you.

“buck what are you-” he silences you with a finger to his lips. His stare alone causes a shiver to roll up your spine, his gaze predatory.

“buck” you try again.

There’s too many things going on through his mind, he needs to calm himself before he does something he might regret, “fuck” he whispers his eyes trailing your naked form, you’re so beautiful he thinks as he eyes rake over your curves.

“Buck,” you repeat, your eyes looking at him with concern, he can see your restraint in leaning up to check on him, the caution. He's swooping down then, his body fitting over yours, pushing you deeper into the mattress below you. He's caught you off guard, an audible gasping falling from your lips, his head is ducking down, tongue trailing your clavicle, drawing a low moan from you. He braces himself with his left hand, his thighs slotting with yours as his right hand finds its way to your face, thumb tracing along the plump of your lower lip.

“Bucky,” you sigh, his name falling from your lips in a breathy drawn out plea.

“You’re so beautiful sweetheart,” he murmurs into your skin, his nose running along the underside of your chin, leaving a trail of open wet mouthed kisses, till his lips are finding yours. He lets himself relish in the sounds he pulls from you, the way you feel under him, saving it for later when he’s away from you, something that he can think back to. When he pulls his lips from yours, he can feel the rise and fall of your chest, your plump lips parted slightly, your warm breath fanning across his face.

He really can’t bring himself to look away from you, he had always thought you were beautiful, but having him underneath you like he did now, it was almost to much, almost.

“You know,” he murmurs “when I first went through the tag on my own after I had left your room that first night, I didn’t know what to think, but the more I read through some of these stories the writers wrote, I began to imagine myself doing these things, and do you want to know who I imagined myself doing them with?” he questions. Your nodding then, your breath hitching as you feel his right hand descend down the curves of your body, “you” he whispers, words ghosting over your lips, “I’ve imagined you in every possible scenario that was drawn out for me,” he murmurs nipping at your chin.

Your writhing; back arching as you feel his hand drift to where you need him, “I’ve pictured you on your knees for me, on your back legs spread, arched, as your hands drift down this beautiful body, finger dipping into your warm heat,” the statement is accompanied with his fingers dipping into the slick of you warmth, your mouth falling open in a gasp. “I have pictured you every time, and you never disappoint,” he grunts index finger circling your entrance before he’s dipping in your back arches head thrown back at the pleasure that surges through you.

Your making those noises Bucky loves to hear spill from your lips, the sweetest sounds bubbling from your throat. He’s adding a second finger, curling them in a beckoning motion, grinning against your skin, when he feels how your body reacts. He pushes in deeper, fingers curling quicker, “fuck” you breath out, and Bucky's grinning again knowing he’s found that sweet spot within you.

He loves to see you like this, loves to see how your body reacts to his. His lips are making their way up your face to find your lips, only for you to be seeking out his as well, the action causing you to jostle his nose slightly a low hiss falling from his lips. “Buck your nose,” you gasp breathily, “you really should have gone to med bay.” Bucky can’t help but chuckle, “you really want me to go to the med bay?” he questions his fingers curling again, causing your head to fall back into the sheets.  

“you know what would be better than med bay,” he murmurs kissing along your skin, “to see you come apart underneath me,” he whispers, teeth nipping at your skin, “you think you can do that for me angel, you think you could cum for me,” he questions huskily thumb swirling around your clit.

Your mouth falls open in a breathy moan, back arching as he builds you up, fingers thrusting faster, deeper, thumb swirling quicker, harder working you up to that immense pleasure only he can bring you. He feels the moment you fall over the edge, your pussy clenching around his fingers, a loud moan falling from your lips. He continues to thrust his fingers into you, only for you to reach down and take a hold of his hand halting his movements. He glances up at you through his lashes, a grin pulling at his lips as he pulls his finger from your wet slick.

You're watching through hooded eyes as he brings his fingers to his mouth, sucking them clean. A shiver rolls through your body at the action, you don’t get the chance to utter the fuck that wants to escape your mouth with Bucky’s lips crashing onto yours. Bucky licks into your mouth, tongue tangling with yours, letting you taste yourself, a low moan falling from your lips.

“Bucky,” you moan tearing your spit slick lips from his, “please,” you plead.

And Bucky swears he’s never heard sweeter words than those that spill from your mouth, “what do you want sweetheart, tell me what you want,” he replies in a low whisper, his fingers trailing over your lips. He watches in awe as your tongue peeks out, licking the digit, your lips closing over it as you suck it into your mouth.

“Fuck look at you,” a moan falls from your lips, “the things I want to do to you,” he grunts, “I want to fuck you, fuck you so hard you won’t be able to leave this bed, be buried so deep inside of you that you’ll never forget what it feels like, would you like that, do you want me to fuck you?”  

“Yes please,” you moan, “please fuck me Bucky,” you beg.

Bucky growls low in his throat, his lips capturing yours in another heated kiss of teeth and tongue. You have no idea what you do to him, how riled up you get him. Your innocent to the reactions he has because of you, though he thinks you know with how hard he is in his tactical gear, his cock straining against the confines of his pants.

Needing to feel your skin against his he slides off of you, a whine leaving your lips as your fingers reach out for him. You watch him peel his shirt off tossing it to the side, his hands going for his jeans next, but your hands are stopping him, pushing his hands away as you work the button and zipper off.   Your hands are hooking into the waistband of his jeans and boxers pulling them down swiftly, a low moan falls from your lips as his cock springs free from the right confines of his pants.

He’s kicking them off the rest of the way, his body covering yours once more. Your perfect he thinks, so fucking perfect, and you’re with him like this, in a way he never could have imagined having you. His hand is sliding down the side of your body where it hooks underneath your leg pulling till it’s wrapped around his waist his hips falling into place between your legs.

Bucky’s mind is hazy with pleasure,  as he feels every inch of you against his, like you were for him. “Fuck sweetheart,” he murmurs with a roll of his hips, “you’re so fucking wet, did I get you this wet?” He questions his cock nudging your clit.

A moan falls from your lips, “use your words sweetheart, did I make you this wet?” He grunts thrusting his lips shallowly  

“God yes,” you whine needing to feel more, “please Buck,”

“Please what, tell me what you want,” he whispers lips ghosting just over yours.

“Please fuck me, please I need to feel you,” you begged back arching, your chest pressing into his.

Bucky wastes no time as he lines himself up with your slick entrance, his hips thrusting forward, teeth gritting as your heat welcomes him. He stops when he’s fully sheathed, breath coming out labored, as you flutter around him, clenching. “Fuck sweetheart,” he grits, “feel so good around me,” he murmurs.

He pulls back to only the tip, before surging forward, the thrust jostling you beneath him, earning him a throaty groan of pleasure from you, “Fuck, yes,” you hiss, “please don’t stop,” you moan.

Bucky grins into your neck, nipping at your sweat slick skin, his thrusts are slow, hard, and deep, a buildup that has you writhing and whining just for him. Your fingers are winding through Buckys hair, tugging the harder his thrusts get. Your pulling his hair bringing his face to yours, your lips meeting his in a breathy kiss.

“Fuck right there, right fucking there,” you moan into his mouth when he changes the angle on you hitting that pleasurable spot within you.  

Bucky’s left-hand catches under your right thigh, lifting till it sits high up on his hip, it changes the angle further, a broken gasp falls from your lips as it drives him in deeper, “fuck it feels so good,” you groan, you feel so good,” you sob clenching around him.

Bucky wants to reiterate your exact words but with the way your warm wet heat is clenching around his aching cock, he can only manage a low moan of your name. Your it for him he thinks, the way you take him, the pleasure you bring him and he knows he can bring you; he doesn’t think he could ever go tired of this.

“Shit,” he breathes his hips slowing slightly, he wants to drag you out a little longer, wants to rebuild that pleasure. He moves again fucking up into the wet heat of your cunt, drawing low moans from you, your breath hitching as your pleasure builds up. Bucky feels spurred on as he continues to fuck into you, bringing you back to that sweet edge, he can tell your close by the way your pussy clenches around him, and he knows the thing to send you right over.

His left hand is leaving your thigh to slide in between your bodies, delving in the warmth of your heat, index finger seeking out that sweet little bundle of nerves.

“Come on baby,” he murmurs finger picking up speed around your aching clit, “i know you want to cum for me, are you going to cum for me?” he questions finger swiping a little quicker. Its enough to send your over the edge, as your body tenses, thighs shaking, low moans of pleasure ripping from your mouth.  

Fuck Bucky thinks, if that isn’t the most beautiful sound he has ever heard.  

His name is falling from your lips in a low chant, the pleasure is too much, you need him to cum, you want to feel him cum. And he does, he cums with his lips pressed to yours a low groan of pleasure falling from his lips and into yours as he loses the rhythm, his body thrumming with pleasure.

Your both laying there bodies lax, Bucky’s head nestled into your neck, your fingers absentmindedly running up and down his back drawing the occasional shiver from him. Its quiet, but its comfortable, you’re the first to speak up, “Bucky where did this come from you,” you murmured quietly.

He peeked his head up looking up at you, “you complaining,” he teased earning a laugh and a swat to the arm from you.

“No i’m not complaining but,” you paused mulling over your words, “it was just unexpected, I thought you might have been thrown off with Steve again,” your murmured looking away from him.

Bucky didn’t like that you did that, that you felt you needed to hide from him, “i told you I wanted to do these things with you, and I meant it,” he spoke taking your chin in his hand so your eyes would meet his again.

“so, is this part of the new agreement?” you questioned not really knowing what this new agreement had entailed since you and Bucky had never actually sat and talked about it.

“You could say that, there’s things I want to try and like I said, I only want to try them with you, if you don’t want to do this you can always tell me to just go and I won’t hold an of this against you,” though those were the words that had fallen from his lips, his mind was saying something entirely different. Bucky could only hope you would agree to this new agreement, because while he felt he couldn’t have you the way he really wanted if he could have you like this, well this would be enough.

Part 8

Behind The Screen Tag-List: @ladifreakingda @georgialeighc13 @racewife2004 @multy-fandom-lover @otvlanga @sailorstupidsblog @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @wantingtobekorra @gazzan-a @clarinette07 @amanda-the-fangirl @im-sure-its-fine @sagechanoafterdark @heyywestman @runaway-escape @ilovesupersoldiers @unlistedpond @rayofdawnworld @badassbaker @spookyanairwin @fandom-basurero @krabby-tentacles @sassy-pelican @lizlepuffs @jaywolf840 @xoasalxo

[impossible-rat-babies]

first 20 lines meme

i got tagged by @coldshrugs tysm azia! tagging: @trvelyans, @zarneki, @rosykims, @forestcreatures, @starrypawz, @heartbrreak, @bitchesofostwick, @juniper-tree, @wayhavn, @pearlsandsteel​, and whomever else go for it !

The challenge is to list the first lines of your 20 latest fanfics. these’ll include wips too lol there’s some vague nsft stuff below the cut--nothing truly explicit in these though

1. prompt fill wip:

Rubble digging into Pollux’s shoulder blades, a heavy dead weight across his back pressing down on him. He winces, gritting his teeth and there’s just shallow breaths, ribs pressing painfully into the ground.

2. pollux finding out fic:

Mason curses as he breaks yet another cigarette and he tosses it into the trash, yanking out the old worn packaging for another one. Hands shaking, he takes a deep breath to steady himself and it works this time.

3. more shoe string french fry biting fic:

Pollux fishes another fry out from the little package of shoe strings, chewing slowly before he speaks: “You remember when I bit you?”

Ortega groans, shoulders hunching and the hood of the car once again protests under their weight. “You’ve bitten me no less than three times, Lux.” He reminds him and Pollux chews another couple of fries and swallows.

4. bathtub fic:

Pollux sinks lower into the water and for the first time in a long while, it’s quiet.

The faucet still drips, ripples spreading out until they hit his knees and he too lets them sink beneath the water--distorted and unclear.

5. the five feet apart because they’re not (gay)

Five feet.

A foot between him and the desk, another two and a half feet of desk, and then Grayson a foot and a half away. Might as well be miles and Pollux sniffs (again) picking at his thumbnail (again).

Five minutes.

Five minutes they’ve been sitting in silence. Nick is quiet too, but there’s a buzzing of anxiety whirling and twisting on itself that Pollux isn’t sure if it’s his own or just Nick. Probably both, if he’s being honest with himself.

6. nightmare/dropping the cups fic:

it’s too late to still be awake, Ortega thinks. He should be in bed with Pollux, instead he’s picking his way around the kitchen, cleaning up the remnants of dinner neither of them bothered to deal with once they were done.

7. phone go brr fic:

it’s far too early when the distant sound of the factory standard phone chime beeps over and over again, drawing him out of sleep. The sun hasn’t even come up, Pollux squinting his eyes open to stare at the blue hour haze coming through the thin curtains.

8. pollux shaving his head panic attack rip:

4am and he’s stuck sitting on the lid of the toilet, hands shaking uncontrollably with what he knows is yet another panic attack, his upper back and diaphragm aching from the frantic breaths. It’s all muted under the sound of clippers, the buzz and the strain as he combs the blades through his curls, watching ringlet after ringlet fall to the white tiles. They’re cold beneath his bare toes and and oh god he can *feel* it—

Why do they have to be white tiles?

Cool air on the back of an open shift, shivering at the cold and indignity of it all, laying on his side and staring at the floor, large needle pressing against his lower back deeper, between vertebra and poking into his spine—

9. legit just some pwp

Pushed against the wall and Pollux gasps, Ortega’s lips immediately following to meet his again, open mouths and trying to breathe while kissing is incredibly difficult. Ortega pulls him closer and Pollux has to crane his neck to keep reaching his lips but he doesn’t mind the effort.

Pollux grasp his shirt, pulling on fancy buttons and silk to find skin, fingers running across his stomach, feeling Ortega’s breath catching.

10. don’t stop (color on the walls) 

It’s a clear night out tonight, the sky an endless dome stretching miles and miles overhead out into deep inky blackness bespectacled by freckled stars.

Pollux blows a stream of smoke out of his mouth and it drifts up and up until it dissipates and he wonders if any particles of the smoke will reach that impossibly high ceiling. If they’ll touch moon perched on the roof, staring down at him with her grey blue light.

11. thigh kisses thigh kisses pollux kissing thighs (nsfw)

Hands on his belt buckle, sliding the belt through the loops and its tossed onto the floor. Pollux’s hands work at the button and zipper, sinking down to sit on the edge of the bed, knees trapping Ortega in close.

12. morning after stuff per usual lol

Pollux grumbles and grunts, hiking his pants up and over slim hips in a smooth motion, adjusting them around his waist once they’re buttoned and zipped up. His hip smarts a touch and he shift his weight from one foot to the other, rolling his ankle. It clicks like always does, his knee the same crackling as always.

13. more pwp bc. couches.

kissing a path down his erratically moving stomach and Pollux bites his trembling lip hard, head cocked at an awkward angle, shoulders pressed against the back cushion of the couch. Ortega’s hands gripping his hips, thumbs pressing into the divots of his hipbones and fuck he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget how big Ortega’s hands are, how he holds him so tightly and so assuredly.

14. the twenty questions fic im never going to finish:

“Okay question one.”

“Question one?”

“Well yeah, this is how twenty questions goes.”

Incredulous and obnoxious is how this is going. And the chair is especially uncomfortable, the stupid molded plastic thing.

Charge has refused to meet in his office, saying it was too professional of an environment to get to know someone and Pollux wonders if there’s anything professional about the man. Well, beyond the very nice (and expensive no doubt) dress shirt and slacks, but even then the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows.

15. a follow up to our reflections 

Pain greets him when his eyes open and Pollux clenches his eyes shut once more, the screaming headache cut off suddenly at motions too fast for his battered brain and body. It quiets to a dull roar at the base of neck, spreading down across his shoulders with each breath.

He groans softly, but steady arms and hands find him, pulling him in close. Mason buries his face in his hair and Pollux tucks his face against his chest, hand smoothing out and across Mason’s ribs, feeling him breathe long and deep. Warmth seeping into his hand.

16. a wip i made happy without trying:

“Okay, okay now it’s your turn sweetheart. Worst fuck you’ve had.”

Pollux sighs and sits further back on Mason’s hips he’s straddled, crossing his arms and he fusses with a loose strand on his borrowed shirt. Pity that Mason is left shirtless, but he hasn’t complained yet.

“Okay fine...does it have to actually have been like, dick in...?”

“Nah.”

“Give me a minute then.”

“Wow that many?”

Pollux glances down and gives Mason a wicked glare, but the anger is tempered by the grin tugging at the corners of his lips. Mason grins back, hands running down the slope of Pollux’s back and down the curve of his thigh, fingers tucking against the back of his knees pressed against the mattress. He shivers at the motions, giving Mason a brief glance. 

17. hotel california

A haze creeps around the edges of Rabbit’s mind, a steady rise back to consciousness; details escape them, the haze of drowsiness like cotton between their ears and they blink slowly in the dim yellow light. The gibberish hum of a tv turned down low on the edge of their hearing, but they know the sound of the news anywhere--the monotone of a newscaster droning

18. the “i refuse to believe adam doesn’t go down” fic + trans rights

Jamie pulls his head back when he hears Adam’s knees hit the floor, the air cool against his heated skin as he pulls his sweats down with him. Adam leans in, scattering Jamie’s hips with kisses and little marks he knows will leave behind marks. He’ll be covered in them by time they’re done and Jamie’s trembling, biting his lip and staring down at Adam.

19. another i dunno i just wanted a different perspective fic

ringing—ears ringing. sharp pain in his jaw and work out the kinks, make sure nothing is broken. Nothing is broken—he knows the pain of broken bones and this doesn’t feel like it. Nothing crunches as he moves his arms, the world rapidly spinning back into focus.

20. our reflections:

Feet stumbling over each other, Pollux’s shoulder slams into the door and he curses loudly. Pain radiates down his arm and into his ribs, scattering across his shoulder blades and ending at the headache welling across his scalp. Breath catching, pain making his diaphragm stutter but he knows this well. Pause, close his eyes, lean against the door, and take a few deep breaths to ease the tightness.

[confused-stars]

hawksweek2020 - Day 5: Insecurities

@hawksweek2020

__

Pretty Bird

(or: someone just give him a hug please im begging you)

It had been eight months since the Winged Hero Hawks had made his debut. The spotlights hadn’t let up since then, and he hadn’t stopped moving.

At his first hero ranking, he’d already made the top twenty, popularity polls adding a huge bonus to the sheer number of successful rescues he’d already pulled off with seeming ease. And it was easy, to him. Saving people came as naturally as breathing after all the training he’d gone through.

 Charming the masses? That was also easy. A smile that was just smug enough to make him interesting, and just warm enough to have people believe he was genuine. Words that sounded a little too blunt but were carefully picked and made the public love him for his honesty. A wink thrown in at the right time, a strategic placement of his wings in front of the cameras. All of that had been training.

 This was just another one of those things, another side of hero work that he hadn’t experienced before but should have been fine with.

He should have.

So why exactly did he find himself hiding away in a storage closet?

Well.

Fuck.

Keigo pulled his wings tighter around himself and tried to count to ten under his breath. He got to seven before there was a knock on the door.

 “Kid?”

Ah, shit. They knew where he was.

Of course he was already going to have to answer for running out and messing up the schedule the way he had, and he didn’t even know how long he’d been here, but he still didn’t want to be talked to.

 “Go ‘way!” he called back, and his voice sounded way too shaky and not enough like his hero persona at all. “I’m fine! I just need a minute!”

 A pause. “… Hawks.” The voice was softer now. He knew he’d heard it before, but his panicked mind wasn’t supplying him with anything. “Can I come in if I close the door behind me?”

 Keigo furrowed his brows. Why would she do that? Wasn’t she here to drag him back out? But saying no would probably make them break down the door or something. He twisted the feather he’d kept stuck in the lock around until he felt it click open.

 He straightened up where he was sitting in between a bunch of nondescript storage crates and cleaning supplies, his wings folded neatly against his back even though he just wanted to curl them around his body again.

 The door opened a moment later, and Keigo could have slapped himself for not recognizing Midnight’s voice when she’d been outside the door.

She must have had a photoshoot here today, too. He vaguely remembered that this was supposed to be the place where she most often did her modelling work. She was in her hero costume, though lacking her usual accessories, and she was holding the shirt that he’d left when he’d hurried out of the studio.

 He caught it when she tossed it at him and freed his wings of feathers for a moment so he could pull it on, slotting them back in place after.

“… thanks.” He flashed Midnight one of his trademark smiles, and from her furrowed brow she wasn’t buying it in the least.

 Keigo wondered just how much of a persona she was putting on for her hero work, and how much of it was real. There was no way all this 18+ nonsense could be her entire personality.

 Keigo thought she was fun to watch, sure, and definitely capable, but she’d always seemed very… fake to him. There were just some heroes who were so obviously playing a role, and unfortunately a lot of the female pros who were being pushed into the ‘sexy lady hero’ stereotype came across like that. Keigo was always glad he was a man, or this might have very well been his fate.

And he’d proven today that he was not cut out for that.

 Midnight kicked one of the crates aside and sat down on top of it, one leg over the other, and watching him closely.

“First model shoot?” she asked, “They can be a little awkward.”

 Keigo sighed and dropped his smile, shrugging a shoulder. “It’s not… I’m good at what I do.” That sounded very defensive. But he was! He was good at this! He had no problem with the posing, even though he hadn’t exactly practiced that before. It had actually been a lot of fun, in the beginning.

 “I didn’t say you weren’t,” Midnight pointed out, “Just that it can be awkward. I’ve been doing this since I was your age, and don’t tell anyone, but that was a while ago.” She winked at him and Keigo huffed a laugh. “But, even for me it can get… a bit much at times.”

 Keigo looked back at her with more intent this time, studying her face. Did she enjoy what she did? Well, she had picked her own brand, and she got more choice in what she did than he ever had, but she’d also picked that brand as a teenager. Playing into the R-rated hero thing got her a lot of fans, of course, and modelling contracts, and adult merch, and a ton of other things, so it had been a clever move for her career. But to constantly be seen like this? Keigo nearly shuddered at the thought.

 Midnight met his eyes and smiled, a little more gentle, and Keigo remembered that she, in fact, was also a high school teacher. “Don’t look at me like that, bird boy. I love what I do. It’s normal to get overwhelmed. Happens to the best of us. Just last week, I witnessed Present Mic screaming into a pillow for almost ten whole minutes.”

 Keigo pulled one of his wings across his lap and smoothed out some feathers. They’d been groomed extensively before the shoot, but he’d gone and gotten them all ruffled up again. “… is the pillow okay?” he asked after a moment.

 Midnight snorted. “That’s what we keep Eraser around for.”

 Would Keigo ever have any real friends among other heroes? He sure hoped so. He had never really had the opportunity to make friends.

 He looked down at his wing. “… I don’t like being on camera shirtless.” And in a room full of people, too. He pulled up his shoulders a little. “I mean. I know I’m objectively hot, right? This is all… very marketable.” He gestured down at his body, and then at his face.

 He'd been lucky to grow up attractive, he’d been told that many times. And yet.

“It doesn’t make sense. I just… they didn’t warn me beforehand, and so when they told me to, I just took it off and I started feeling worse.”

Letting go of his wing, he instead traced his fingers along his chest, where there weren’t even visible scars. “It’s stupid.”

 “The way you feel about your body is never stupid,” Midnight said, voice surprisingly firm.

Keigo jerked his eyes up to look at her.

“It’s unreasonable. I should be fine with it. Plenty of people are gonna look at these photos, and they’re not gonna think ‘oh, look at Hawks, he’s way too skinny to be attractive’ or ‘he’s tiny, how’s he supposed to save people’ or ‘hey, doesn’t Hawks look kinda like a girl?’. That’s just me thinking that.” He waved a hand in the air vaguely and sighed, feathers fluffing up as he did so.

 Midnight was still watching him. Keigo hated it. She seemed to be seeing right through him, and he himself didn’t even know what she was seeing.

“I have a feeling it won’t help any if I say I think you’re cute,” she finally said, “Because this is about you. This isn’t going to change, no matter how many crazy fans in the streets scream that they’d love to have your babies.” She paused. “Or… eggs.”

 Keigo couldn’t help the surprised laugh, and he tried to give her a half-glare. “I’m pretty sure I’d have perfectly human babies, thanks.”

 “I’ll believe that when you prove it,” Midnight teased, and Keigo realized she’d done that very much on purpose to distract him from his doom and gloom.

 She was a pretty good hero, he decided. The best heroes had to be the ones who knew how to help other heroes, and not just civilians. “I should probably get back out there and finish the shoot, huh?” he asked, glancing at the door.

 Midnight clicked her tongue. “Or you walk out there, apologize, and fly home like a good boy.” She met his eyes and winked, and Keigo blushed maybe a little bit, though he would deny that to his dying day. That was just how she was though, and her flirty nature was enough to keep him somewhat grounded and from letting his thoughts spiral again.

 “… I have responsibilities,” he protested half-heartedly, though home sounded very good right now. He hadn’t been living in the apartment long, but it was his and it was safe. He didn’t have to be Hawks there.

 Midnight waved a hand at him. “They must’ve gotten a bunch of pictures they can use. You’ve been here all morning, and it’s almost four now.”

 That late? Oh, shit. Keigo had a patrol at six. He’d need to pick up some food on the way. But, hey, at least patrol was going to make him feel less shitty about himself. He stood up and brushed himself off. “You’re probably right, Midnight. Thanks.”

 Midnight got to her feet as well, and Keigo nudged her arm with his wing.

“Kayama is fine, you know? No need to be all formal with the hero names.”

 Keigo never liked when this happened. He shifted. “I prefer Hawks.”

 Midnight’s gaze was too knowing, but he didn’t think that she knew the full extent of why he didn’t use his other name.

“Hawks it is, then. It’s a good hero name anyway. Very catchy.” She nodded her approval, and he smiled as he moved past her – only to be stopped by her hand wrapping around his wrist.

 “Okay, I know you barely know me, but I want you to listen to me. Because you’re just a kid, and you’re taking your first steps into this mess of a professional world. Are you listening?”

 Keigo nodded.

 Midnight’s gaze was serious. “No one can tell you who to be, Hawks. No one can tell you what to do with who you are, either. You want to save people, you’re good at that. You clearly don’t like this aspect of it all, and that’s fine. Not everyone is born for this. Being a hero isn’t about looking sexy, or letting them treat you like a piece of meat. It’s about finding danger and facing it to keep others from getting hurt. And you’re doing that. So you can damn well decline any of these publicity engagements that have you doing things you’re uncomfortable with. They’ll tell you to just go through with it, and not make a fuss, but they’re wrong, okay? Set up your boundaries now, because you’re allowed to. Do you hear me? You’re allowed to.”

 Keigo nodded again, a little dazed from her intensity. Or maybe her quirk. But she wasn’t using it right now.

 Midnight let go of his wrist, and placed both hands on his shoulders. “I look forward to seeing more of what you can do. Up in the sky, not on some advertisement for a product neither of us is ever even going to use.” She raised a hand and put a finger under his chin, forcing his head up a little. “Now, don’t look like a scared little bird that’s just been a cat’s plaything for the past ten minutes. Or else there’ll be rumors about the two of us and this closet.” She laughed, and Keigo swallowed.

 “Uh… yeah. Okay. Okay.” He was very off kilter now. Did she have that effect on everyone?

 Midnight looked him over, and then gave a satisfied nod. “Good. Now, remember that you’re an ass kicking, whip smart, devastatingly handsome young man, and get out there.”

 Keigo blinked at her, stood still for another second or so, and then turned and opened the door, his shoulders set, and the weight of his wings still heavy on his back.

He couldn’t wait to spread them again and get back to doing his actual job.

[beerecordings]

I was thinking about that Therapy AU (ish. thing. question mark?) that you brainstormed a few months back, and I find myself wondering—which of the boys realized “oh hey, I should probably see a therapist” first? And what was the impetus? (Jackie. I’m asking about Jackie. I want to know the story behind how Jackie found his Alderian/Adlerian duder and why he sprung for it. Also the thing about who came first, but Jackie. My boy. Im lov him)

lol yeah you’re right it’s not so much an au as something that i’d like to be canon in just about every universe i come up with lollll. but yeah hm…

I think Henrik goes to see a therapist first because he’s been through literal hell and there’s no way he can handle any of this without professional help. and everybody knows that, you know, like… it’s easier to justify some reasons to go than others. so even though everybody probably needs it they’re all here like “oh GEEZ someone else has had it SO MUCH WORSE than me so HE’S going to therapy” and they all end up ganging up on Henrik with their love and support like “yeah bud you need to see somebody please we’re worried about you!!” and it’s hard to argue when he’s both physically and mentally exhausted so he just ends up letting them take him. he doesn’t have his existentialist therapist at first, that’s too intensive for his mental energy at the time, but he just sees a nice calm therapist who really helps him deal with some of the outstanding issues and find ways to hold on when he’s really bad off. and the others are all so excited and supportive but for some reason when he recommends they try it too, they seem to think he’s joking?

then Chase gets court-ordered to therapy and he’s like “FUCK fine!!” and it makes him sob his heart out every week and he feels so dumb and weak and stupid for like two months before he starts to come around to it. and it’s Henrik who really convinces him that it’s okay, and then eventually it actually starts to help?? and he gets to see the kids again!!! ahh!!! it’s a good time! he and Henrik start scheduling their appointments at the same time so they can get lunch together first and then walk home together too.

JJ gets pressured by the family to join them after he starts getting into some really bad habits like getting into fights and tearing his fists open beating up his punching bag and staring at his razor for long enough that Henrik gets scared and practically drags him there himself (he would not go but he hates to see Henrik so nervous and upset). Marvin has a complete breakdown after years of being the family tough guy without crying once in front of the others and they all get freaked out and ask him to go see somebody for their sake if nothing else (he would not go but when his little brothers look at him like that) and then Jackie is there like “good job guys! I’ll just be over here! love you! :)”

cause the thing is Marvin had convinced himself that he has to be tough enough to deal with everything he goes through in silence, but Jackie is WORSE because he’s just convinced himself he doesn’t have anything to deal with. He’s the big brother, first of all, so he just doesn’t have time for that, and he’s a hero, so nothing’s going to get to him anyway, of course. and then he just hasn’t been through as much as the others, right? Henrik and JJ with Anti, and Chase with his family, and his poor Marv must have been dealing with so much so quietly for so long, and if Jackie had just been a better brother to him he wouldn’t have HAD to do that, he wouldn’t have had to hide anything from anyone, he’d come to Jackie instead of hiding his problems but he doesn’t because he doesn’t trust him enough and that’s because of Jackie’s failures and ALL OF THIS IS JACKIE’S FAULT -

yeah, no, no problems! he’s good! he’s cruising! He doesn’t have it that bad he’s fine! he only struggles sometimes cause he’s a baby, right? he should toughen up, after all he heard Henrik sobbing last night and he has it so much worse, he’s been through so much, Jackie needs to look like everything’s okay so Henrik feels safe and calm. and then everything will be better and everything will be fine. once his brothers are fine, he’ll be fine.

and then his brothers are fine.

he stops, pauses, looks around.

Chase is out with the kids, sober for a year straight. JJ’s just got a new job and he seems happy and well-adjusted. Henrik’s showing his scars without freaking out and has been dealing with his panic attacks well. Marvin admits he had a bad day but says he’s going to make tomorrow a better one! Jackie’s never heard him say anything like that in his life and he seems to mean it, what the hell is happening?

all his brothers are fine and he’s still not… what is happening…. if everyone’s okay why does he still feel so bad about himself?

The others want to go to family therapy now. Apparently JJ’s therapist keeps recommending it because so many of his issues come back to worrying about upsetting the others, and then Marvin’s therapist agrees, and they’re all pretty comfy with therapy by now, and they want to go, they want to try it. and of course he’s not going to turn them down!! yeah, they need him to be the calm big brother in the room, keeping everything together, making sure they’re all safe? of course! he’ll come and support them all!! he’s a little bit terrified at the very prospect but they need this so he’ll do it, he can do it! for their sake. if it’s for their sake it’s okay, it’s permissible, and it’s not weak because it’s not for him, it’s for them.

and then they get in there and it’s so much messier than he expected. first of all the therapist right away goes “so everyone is seeing a therapist personally but you, Jackie” and he goes hot red and feels all his brothers looking at him and makes up something about not needing that and he sees Henrik turn away from him when he says it. and then she keeps trying to draw him into it and he hates that, this wasn’t what he planned, he just wanted to sit here and tell everyone they were doing great!! and then, oh, hell, everything is coming out. everything is coming bleeding out of his brothers and it’s messy and it’s ugly and he’s not a bystander, he’s a part of it, they even say his name sometimes, they even seem to accuse him sometimes. it’s not what he expected, it’s not at all what he expected, it’s not Chase going “I’m sad sometimes when you’re sad Marvin” and Marvin going “oh no I’m sad when you’re sad let’s work on this :’((” it’s like Jameson saying “I can’t tell any of you ANYTHING because half the time you treat me like an infant and the other half of the time you get so upset that even though I want to confide in you I can’t because I know it’ll send you all spiraling, I feel like I’m not allowed to be fucking suicidal but I am and I can’t trust any of you to deal with me - ” and then before he knows it Jackie is fucking sobbing in the therapy room so hard they all have to be done for the day and JJ is sitting there staring at him like he’s just proven his point and the guilt comes crashing down and he feels like he’s dying and he REFUSES to go back next week.

they’re all upset and JJ won’t talk to him. he WON’T go back to that, that was so horrible and humiliating, he’s not doing that again, he’s NEVER trying therapy again.

his brothers go to family therapy without him. that’s fine. that’s good. they’re allowed to. he waits for things to go back to normal.

they don’t.

JJ never talks to him anymore, not about the things that matter. He says there’s no bad blood between them and most likely that’s true, but the fact is he just doesn’t trust him. can’t confide in him. Jackie starts to feel sick every time they’re together, wondering if his baby brother is suicidal right now and just hiding it from him, sitting there doing his embroidery with a movie playing on the couch, thinking about killing himself. Jackie’s starting to get upset more often. Jackie’s starting to crumble. everyone is fine, for the most part. he doesn’t want to upset that. doesn’t want to put the burden of himself on their shoulders. he’s being such a fucking baby. why is he crying himself to sleep again every night? why did he have to go hide in the bathroom for five minutes at the restaurant yesterday because someone said the word antifreeze? why does Chase teasing him about taking the last piece of cake make him want to die so badly? why isn’t he ever happy anymore? Marvin asks him if he wants to go to the arcade and he doesn’t, he isn’t up for it. energy’s gone. hasn’t had much for a long time but he could bury the exhaustion from their sight and that was all that matters. Jamie accidentally cuts his thumb one day in the kitchen and Jackie wants in and sees the blood dripping onto his wrist and he loses it, he loses it, he’s screaming, he’s shouting at JJ, and Jameson just stands there and takes it, Jameson stands there staring at him when everybody else is shouting at Jackie to cut it out, stop it, what the hell Jackie? Jamie is still standing there in silence when Jackie has a full meltdown on the kitchen floor, followed promptly by a miserable, silent, exhausted shutdown that lasts for two days afterwards.

he goes back to family therapy. it isn’t really working. he’s really tired and sad and every time someone tries to confront him about an issue in their family he might be involved in he immediately starts crying and apologizing again and again, taking all the blame on his shoulders, promising them they didn’t do anything wrong even if they did, not accepting comfort or apologies from any of them, everything’s his fault, he promises he’ll fix it, he’ll never go out on patrol again if that’s what they want. and it’s so uncomfortable for everyone and soon family therapy starts turning into “tip-toeing around Jackie while Jackie feels miserable and gets worse” and their therapist tells them this isn’t working anymore.

You need to go to a therapist, they start telling him.

I’ve been going with you all the time, he says.

No, they say, you need to go to a therapist.

Oh.

Well, he can’t do that.

Well, why not? Huh?

Because he just can’t.

Because that’s not who he is.

Why isn’t it who he is?

Jackie, why?

Jackie, say something, say anything.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Because he’s not allowed to be that. He’s not allowed to need help. He’s got to keep them safe - you don’t - I do!

fuck’s sake, Jackie. You can’t keep doing this anymore. You just can’t.

I know, he says. I know.

but he won’t go even when it’s all sitting out in the open and everyone’s staring at him like they’re waiting for him to shatter into glass because the family therapist was not what he needed and he’s scared of the questions and the feeling of being torn apart and the conflict and the sadness and he thinks all therapy’s like that and it’s not for him and he won’t go. and then one day sweet little brother number three comes and lays down with him and hugs him real tight and puts himself right there in Jackie’s arms so his big brother gets to hold him and push their heads together and hear his heartbeat and feel him rubbing at his shoulder. and Chase has probably waited for a soft calm night to tell him this but there’s this really cool thing his therapist recommended for Jackie’s sake where you don’t have to talk at all in therapy if you don’t want to. they just give you this great sand and you can run your hands all over it and then they get all these like toys and models and things out and they ask you questions like “tell me about a time when you were happy” and you just have to build, man, and work from there. and he knows he’s been so sad and tired lately and he wants him to try it because he loves him and didn’t Jackie used to try and convince him to go too?

and you wouldn’t see me as a failure if i went? and you wouldn’t think you had to take care of me? and it wouldn’t be weird for you? and you wouldn’t make fun of me for it? and nobody would ask me too many questions? and i could just build?

and Chase gives him a lot of no’s and one good solid yes, yeah, bud, you can just build, and Jackie goes two weeks later and sits down with the sand and the toys in front of him and just lets it all go and, in plastic houses and little figurines that remind him of his family and the cool soothing weight of the sand in his hands, he tells the truth at last, without ever speaking once.

plus his therapist is really funny and sweet and positive and warm with him. and she keeps going “just between you and me” and he grins and knows he can tell her anything and it doesn’t have to come back and hurt his brothers at all if he doesn’t want it to, he can even say Forbidden Horrible things like “it makes me angry when he does this” or “I wanted to kill that man that night and it scared me how strong I was” and “sometimes I think I’m just as much a mistake as Anti was” and slowly, slowly, they start to work on it. and he learns to apologize respectfully and fairly, without being accidentally manipulative, and he learns to take care of them in a way that he couldn’t before, and he learns that he’s important too, and needed and loved, even if he isn’t strong or positive or perfect every day of every year.

they start going back to family therapy once he’s ready. they keep getting more and more tools to help them put themselves and each other back together again. it’s a good fit after all.

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

       youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

        do i not already?

        well yes         but youre gonna love me EVEN more

        what have you done

        well i happened to stop by the club last night

        oh god what did you do

        wow is that how little you trust me

        can you blame me

        suppose not         ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

        surprise surprise

        do you want the good news or not???

        fine fine sorry

        AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie         and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

        first of all fuck you for calling him that         second of all wtf is onlyfans

        oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

        ......         care to grace me with your knowledge?

        basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see         its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes         MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

        but i have to pay?

        well weve all gotta make a living

        i can basically see him naked for free

        but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed         well you will but nobody will know at least         so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

        fine

        where are your manners richard??

        can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

        alright calm down         let me know if its worth while i might have a look

        idk if im even gonna look at it         paying for porn is a little dated

        treat yourself ringo         id offer to pay but im broke

        if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

        well SOMEONE had to go

        they really didnt

        im supporting my local economy

        i dont think thats how that works

        sure it is         anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

        howd the wank go??

        john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

        youre right sorry         so how did it go???

        if you must know         i havent had a wank         i havent even paid for entry

        now whos the one being inappropriate??

        ha ha

        why havent you???

        feels weird

        oh i see         youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

        you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

        hey now watch yourself         ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

        go ahead

        and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting         ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

        every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

        im not joking

        neither am i         you wank A LOT

        ringooooo just buy it i swear to god         if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

        on top of the money you already owe me?

        have you always been such a capitalist

        youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

        fine         spikes cock         now are you convinced???

        maybe

        naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month         convinced??

        fine fine         if itll shut you up

        im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

        i hate you

        now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right'         anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at         even i wont stand in the way of a good wank         so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

        im older than you

        DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

        sooo how did the wank go

         who knows          but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

         well before you do that i have even more good news 

         can it not wait?

         NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

         well arent you considerate          and unnecessarily graphic

         thats me          anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

         im still waiting for the good news

         well if youd let me FINISH          next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go          youll never guess what it is

         what is it?

         guess

         you just said ill never guess

         youre no fun

         WHAT IS IT

         alright alright keep your hair on          its a crossdressing event          high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

         im still waiting for the good news

         OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

[breanime]

Heartworm (Part One)

Guess who got her internet baaccccck! This gal! So @songtoyou sent me this request and I IMMEDIATELY started getting ideas. This could be up to or past 5 parts, I don’t even know! It all depends if you guys like it and want more! This is kind of a soft re-imagining of season 2.

Request:  How about instead of Billy going to his stupid psychiatrists place to seek refuge, he goes to the home of a girl who he was in a serious relationship with. Like, this girl is the only person Billy could ever see himself settling down with. However, once he got money, status, and power from Rawlins he pushed her to the side and eventually dropped her from his life. But once she sees the state Billy is in and how sad, scared and alone he is she wants to help him.

Part One is based on Halsey’s Without Me, particularly these lyrics:  

Found you when your heart was broke I filled your cup until it overflowed Took it so far to keep you close (Keep you close) I was afraid to leave you on your own

I said I'd catch you if you fall And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all (All) And then I got you off your knees Put you right back on your feet Just so you can take advantage of me

*gif not mine* (I gotta stop using this gif lol)

You stood frozen in your living room, eyes glued on the TV. The news was saying that Billy, your Billy, was a murderous traitor and a danger to society. You watched as they showed footage of Billy’s apartment up in flames. They said he bombed it himself after killing a handful of Homeland Security agents, they also said that he hired mercenaries for his Anvil staff. The government seized his assets. He shot Curtis in the shoulder. He knew about Frank’s family. He set them up to be killed. Billy. Your Billy.

Except he wasn’t your Billy anymore; he hadn’t been your Billy for three years. You sat down on the couch, legs numb with shock, as you took in what the newscaster was saying about your ex-boyfriend, the only man you’ve ever loved. They flashed a picture of him on the screen. The caption read: “Armed and Dangerous, Do Not Approach”. The newscaster was saying something about Homeland and Frank going after Billy, but it was all starting to sound like white noise to you. Your mind said to get out of town and run until it was all over, but your heart wanted to reminisce, wanted to remind you why you even cared in the first place.

“…and I’m gonna have a Rolls Royce,” Billy said, one arm behind his head and the other wrapped around your waist, “I’m gonna drive it to meetings, rich assholes love a power play.”

You smiled up at Billy, you loved listening to his grand plans for the future. “Are you gonna be a pocket square kind of rich asshole or a ‘Maureen, hold my calls’ kind of rich asshole?”

“Mm,” Billy pulled you closer to his naked chest, “I’m gonna be a pocket square kind of asshole,” he answered, “that’s the best way to run a business.”

“Of course,” you agreed, snuggling up against him, “you’re gonna be a big shot. And I’m gonna have to make an appointment with Maureen just to see you.”

Billy tsked and put a finger on your chin, lifting your face so you were eye-to-eye. “That ain’t never gonna happen,” his dark eyes bore into yours, “I’ll always have time for you.”

You smiled and pressed your lips against his. You felt Billy’s arms tighten around you, lifting you up until you were laying on top of him. You kissed him again, slowly parting your lips, inviting his tongue into your waiting mouth. His eyes were heavy-lidded with lust when you pulled back. You rubbed your nose against his. “I love you.”

His smile made your chest heave with adoration. “I love you too, Y/N.” He kissed you again. “I promise I’m gonna make you proud one day, baby. I’m gonna get us outta this shit hole and out you somewhere nice, where you belong.”

You shrugged. Money and status meant a lot to Billy, meant success, but you were happy enough where you were. Yeah, your apartment was kind of small, and yeah, the heat stopped working every few months, but you’d lived in worst places. Besides, you had Billy. He made you so unbelievably happy; you could have lived in a cave—as long as Billy was with you, you’d be fine. “You know I’m already proud of you,” you told him, “You’ve accomplished so much already.”

“Mm,” Billy kissed the top of your head, “I can do more.” He kissed your nose. “I’m gonna get this security shit together.” He kissed your right eyelid. “I’m gonna get us a place uptown.” He kissed your left eyelid. “And I’m gonna make it so you don’t ever have to work again.” You sighed as he kissed your cheek next. “I ain’t gonna let anyone look down on us anymore.” He kissed your other cheek. “I’m gonna make you so happy, baby.” You felt yourself melt when he finally kissed you on the lips. “I’m gonna take care of us…

…I’m gonna take care of you.”

You turned the TV off, cradling the remote to your chest. You felt your breath getting shallower and casually recognized your erratic heartbeat. You didn’t know what to do. You believed the news—you weren’t sure about the details, but you knew Billy well enough to know that he would do anything for power. You had seen the change that money bought him firsthand, and you didn’t like it at all. You thought about calling Curtis, but you didn’t want to bother him. He was probably up to his neck in cops and paperwork and…Homeland Security, apparently. You wondered how it came to this. Frank was alive. Billy was a wanted man. Curtis was wounded. And you…were alone.

You spent the night on the couch, too numb and confused to get up. You dreamt of Billy and woke up shivering. You got up and made yourself a cup of coffee. Your phone was on the counter, and you frowned as you picked it up. You had missed calls from your mom, your best friend, your boss, and your sister. You had no desire to speak to any of them. You also had a call and voicemail message from an unknown number. Hitting the speaker button, you played the message.

“You’re gonna hear some things on the news.” Billy. “They’re true. I…I did all those things they say I have. By the time you get this message, I’m either gonna be on the run or dead.” It sounded like he took a breath before continuing. “I wanted to see you before I go, but…that’s not gonna happen. So just… Just know that I…” A sigh. “…I think about you all the time. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, a lot of bad choices, done a lot of shitty things, but… I only regret one thing: letting you go. I wish… I should have fought for you more. I should have…” There was some shuffling, and you thought Billy might have put the phone down for a moment. “Listen, they’re gonna say a lot of things about me, and people are gonna try to tell you that I’m heartless and evil, but I want you to remember…You loved me once. You’re the only one I could ever be honest with, the only person in this world who knows who I am. Just… Remember that. And… I’m sorry, Y/N. Goodbye.”

You stood in your kitchen and listened to Billy’s message for at least another 30 minutes. By the time you went back to the couch and turned the TV on, Billy was pronounced near-death and was being kept under constant surveillance at the hospital. Frank Castle was said to be ‘in the wind’ and Anvil was being torn down and all the profits split up. The news interviewed a medical professional about the chances of Billy making any kind of recovery. They predicted he would be dead in six months.

You turned the TV off and wept.

It had been nearly a year since everything went down with Billy. The coverage for Billy’s case had pretty much stopped after a month, and people were onto the next scandal now. Curtis had stopped by your place and told you that Frank left town. The visit had been brief, but he told you what Billy had done—confirming what you’d heard on the news—and said that his orders had come from someone named Rawlins. Rawlins, you understood, was dead. Curtis had word from Frank to tell you that he had been given a new identity by the government and was going to hit the road for a while. When you asked why he’d want you to know that, Curtis had just said: “you needed to know it was over”. You should have felt anger, or pity or sadness but… you felt nothing. You had been operating on auto-pilot, swimming in a thick fog of numbness, since Billy had been arrested. The last thing you could remember feeling, really feeling, was a deep and intense sorrow when you listened to Billy’s message. He had broken your heart, left you, and then revealed himself to be a monster and you…You were just tired.

“I don’t know what you want me to say Y/N,” Billy’s back was to you. You had barged into his office at Anvil, demanding to see him, but now that you were there… The way he was talking to you was cold and detached. His stance was rigid, his focus was on the recruits below him, not on you. This Billy—CEO Billy—was not what you had signed up for.

“I want you to say you’re sorry,” you said, “I want you to say you care.” Billy didn’t say anything. You clenched your fists. “Look at me, Billy.”

He turned. He was wearing an expensive three-piece suit and his hair was impeccably cut. His eyes, the eyes you loved, the eyes that looked at you with such care and affection, were hollow.

“What happened to you?” You asked, looking him up and down with disgust. “You never come home, you barely spend any time with me—”

“What do you want, Y/N?” He said, irritation clear in his voice. “I’m busy. I’m working. I’m trying to afford the penthouse we live in and the car you drive.”

“I bought my own car,” you reminded him, eyes narrowed as you glared at him, “And I work, too, but I make time for the people I love.”

Billy sighed, rolling his shoulders. “I told you, you don’t have to work.”

You sighed then. He was missing the point. “Billy,” you tried again, “I’m tired of this. I can’t keep being an afterthought for you. I need you.” You tried to look in his eyes, but he avoided your gaze. “I miss you.”

Billy walked over to you and put a hand on your waist. He pulled you towards him and kissed you. “I miss you, too,” his voice was husky as he moved his lips to your neck, “I know I’ve been working a lot lately, but we’re so close…”

You closed your eyes. You wanted to have a conversation, but it was hard to think of words—let alone form any—with his mouth on your skin. “Will you come home tonight?” You asked, breath short and voice heavy with lust.

“Mm hmm,” his hand slid to your ass as he kissed you again, “I’m gonna be all yours tonight.” He licked into your mouth and smiled when you moaned.

You felt his hardness pressing against your front and you deepened the kiss. “I don’t know if I can wait that long,” you whispered.

Billy chuckled and released you from his grip. You glared as you watched him walk over to his desk. He pressed a button on his phone and leaned over to speak. “Hold all my calls,” he ordered, smirking over at you, “I don’t want any calls or interruptions for the next hour.” He walked past you and you heard him lock the door behind you. His eyes were gleaming when he turned back to you and he looked like himself, like your Billy, again. His smile made your heart skip a beat. “Take your clothes off, baby. I want to spend some time with you.”

You sat up with a start. It had been months since you’d last dreamt of Billy. You looked around you and cursed under your breath. You had fallen asleep on the couch. No wonder you were off. You hadn’t been able to have a full night’s rest without sleep aids since…since Billy had left that message on your phone. If you didn’t take a pill before you went to bed, you would dream about Billy. You didn’t want to dream about him, you wanted to ignore the ache in your chest and the emptiness in your life and just… Get over it. Get over him. You felt a headache coming on, so you shuffled to the bathroom for a quick shower before bed.

Your mind kept going back to Billy as you got ready for bed; you remembered the strain in his voice in the message he left you, how he used to laugh when you stuck your cold feet on his back, the way he stared down at you as he shifted inside you, driving you wild. You could see his eyes, dark and expressive and so full of love when he looked at you, every time you closed your eyes. You gave up on sleep and went back to the couch, deciding to just spend the night watching horrible night time TV until you could get Billy out of your head.

You were finally getting into the Real Housewives marathon you had been watching when you heard a knock on your door. You glanced at your phone: it was 11 pm. Who the hell would be at your door at this time? You grabbed your phone in case you needed to call the police and stood on your tip-toes to look into the peephole. Your mouth fell open at the same time your phone hit the floor with a dull thump.

Billy Russo was standing in the hallway of your apartment. And he was covered in blood.

*************************************************************************************

I have the next two parts locked and loaded! Pleaaase comment and let me know if you want the rest. The more feedback I get, the more I update! Thanks for reading, and may Billian be with you.

BTW, I got the title from this “emotion that’s hard to describe word”:  Heartworm: a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

TAGLIST: @delicatelilyflower @doneobrien @ladyblablabla @banditthewriter @something-tofightfor  @starsfragments @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @hisgirlwednesdayaddams@fictionwillneverdie @maria-beretta @sadnessxvodka @ymariejp @sunnycolors @moonlightsay @its-all-o-kay @damagelove @keyeluh @itsmylife98 @funerals-with-cake @littlemermaidprobz @teacuplotus @king4thesirens @mrsjaxtellerfan @thebabblingbook @tartelette-aux-fraises @madamrogers  @charlylama @iaintnofurry​ @k-buggz2001​ @whitewolfslittlesilverfox @drinix @elanor-of-imladris @floralpeaceofmind

[yodawgiherd]

Get Ready For The Next Battle

Rating : M

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Yo i just noticed that next chapter is number 69, i ain't gonna pass that opportunity up. I'm so going to unleash the depths of my depravity. . . . im 12 btw ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“C’mon baby, one more set, you can do it!”

Motivated by his beautiful personal cheerleader, Eren mobilized his remaining strength, pushing with all his might to finish the last few crutches, but his muscles were completely exhausted, and with a groan he let go, falling back on the bench.

“I can’t.. I can’t…”, rolling off the pad, Eren stood up on his slightly trembling legs, bending over to gulp in air. Damn he was beat. Behind him, Mikasa took his place, effortlessly beginning another set of her perfectly fluid movements, her rhythmic breathing suggesting that she was still far from her limits. Sitting down on the machine next to hers, Eren watched her, not completely understanding where the hell she took the energy from. His stomach hurt just from watching her, but Mikasa showed no signs of slowing down, finishing the set and taking a quick breather before the next one.

“You okay? Hope I didn’t exhaust you too much.”, she asked, a tiny hint of mockery in her voice, making Eren frown at her. Today’s workout was kinda insane, and Eren couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t her way of paying him back for the play from few days back, her way of showing that while she’s perfectly fine with submitting to him in the bedroom, in terms of physical abilities Mikasa’s still far superior to him. Then again, if she felt the need to assure herself of her skills, Eren was more than okay with that. The playtimes were totally worth having his ass handed to him at the gym.

“You know, not everyone has a set of pistons in their midriff.”

She arched an eyebrow at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”, pushing himself up, Eren loomed above her, running his palm over the defined ridges of her stomach, revealed by the cropped top she usually wore for her workouts. Even after all these years, it still fascinated him, the way he could feel the shape of every single one under his fingers, and it was needless to say that Eren certainly approved her choice of gym attire. “Pretty sure that your abs have their own abs at this point.”

“That’s not how muscles work, Doctor.”

Not feeling like arguing with her, Eren decided on a surprise attack instead, pressing a kiss to her midriff instead. The hitched breath he heard was just what he was looking for.

“You were saying?”

Rolling away from him, half because this part of her workout was done, half because she wanted to hide her giggle, Mikasa stood up, stretching. Her eyes looked all around the gym, before finally settling on her boyfriend, squatting on the floor. She came closer, smoothing a few strands of hair that escaped his bun from Eren’s face, lazily smiling down at him.

“How are your energy reserves?”

Standing up to mirror her, he was the taller one now, very much enjoying the illusion of power it gave him.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Maaaybeee..”, she drew the word out, dragging a singular finger down his jaw. Such a simple touch, yet it managed to make his pulse race. Her arms sneaked around Eren’s neck, and Mikasa’s lips, now dangerously close to his ear, caressed the skin there as she spoke. “I want you to….”

Eren was completely immersed in her little game now, ignoring that they were still in the gym, with people around, and Levi just a few meters away, sitting in his office. Those facts simply flew away from his head, replaced by the way her body felt, pressed against his, firm but soft in the right places, how silky her porcelain skin was under the tips of his fingers. Few words, the right touch, and Mikasa had him completely under her spell, and he was more than ready to go along with any crazy plan she was about to whisper to him.

“…fight me.”, she finished, slipping out of his hug and walking towards the ring, leaving him slightly confused and sporting a very unfortunate hard-on. Ah well, seems like the fun must wait, he thought to himself, following her, mentally doing his best to divert the blood from the crotch area. When he finally caught up, Mikasa was already preparing herself, punching the air, doing quicksteps, the routine that Eren knew intimately, but it still made him wonder just how fast the woman can move.

“I won’t go easy on you.”, Eren did try to sound tough, but judging from Mikasa’s smug smile, she wasn’t very intimidated.

“Give it your best.”

Nodding at him, she took her fighting stance, and Eren followed suit, steeling himself. They were both tired from the complete workout, so technically, he had a better chance than usual, but still. Mikasa was Mikasa. Well, time to prove himself. Knowing that he has no chance if he lets her keep the distance, Eren danced to the left, blocking few or Mikasa’s testing punches, looking for a chance, an opening. Ducking under a blow, he spotted one, charging forward and grabbing her waist, making them both fall on the ground together, tangled in a heap. With some luck, Eren managed to come out on top, using his weight to pin her down.

“I’ve got you now.”, he growled, making Mikasa stop in her efforts and look at him, arching an eyebrow.

“Do you now?”

Her body suddenly twisted in his grasp, like a snake, pulling him down with strength that he had no chance of resisting. With a defeated groan, Eren folded, and they switched positions, with Mikasa now triumphantly looming over him, knees pressing into his arms, keeping them grounded, while his face was caged in from both sides by her thighs. The position even allowed her to keep her own arms crossed over her chest, giving the position quite a dominant feeling.

“You were saying?”, she repeated his words from a few minutes ago, apparently very satisfied with herself. When Eren didn’t reply, frowning up at her, she giggled, reaching down to boop his nose.

“This is the part where you surrender, puppy.”, she informed him after.

But Eren shook his head.

“Nope.”

“Baby,”, she increased the pressure for a short time, signifying how helpless he was right now. “you lost. Surrender.”

“Nah.”

“Eren….”

“Maybe I’ll just stay here, the view is pretty great.”

“So what, you’ll just be under me for the rest of your life?”

“There are much worse ways to go than being choked to death by the legs of a beautiful woman.”

Lacking the words or appropriate reaction to answer that, Mikasa gave up, shuffling back until she was straddling his waist instead, gesturing for Eren to sit up. And he did, massaging his neck, because even with all the strong talk on his part, Mikasa thighs had quite a grip.

“Not going to fulfill my wish then?”

“Can’t do that, I’d miss you too much.”

“Hmm, I suppose I should thank you for your mercy.”

She nodded.

“That would be appropriate.”

Deciding on a non-verbal approach, Eren kissed her, and judging from the way she returned his affection it was the right move. The simple touch of lips soon spiraled into something way more feral, as fighting together always got their blood pumping, and it would hardly be the first time that their workout would end up in a more…. intimate physical activity. Angling her head, licking into his mouth, Mikasa seemed more than happy with how their evening was progressing, but before anything could really happen, another voice cut into their moment.

“Look, I’m not a professional anymore, but I’m kinda sure that this is not how a fight is supposed to look like.”

Hearing Levi’s voice while having his hands around Mikasa triggered Eren’s flight instincts, but with her weight still comfortably sitting in his lap, he couldn’t do much. On her part, Mikasa didn’t even try to stand up, looking over her boyfriend’s shoulder at her brother, who regarded them with a partly disgusted face.

“Levi, you need something?”

“First of all, I’d really appreciate if you didn’t start fucking in the middle of my gym.”, that statement made Eren blush, but Mikasa didn’t seem to care much, shrugging.

“Cool. Something else?”

“Your friend called, Jean, said that you talked about some advertisement? Internet or some shit, couldn’t really understand what he was saying.”

“Oh yeah,”, with Eren still under her, slowly accepting his role as a chair, Mikasa scratched the back of her neck, recalling the details of her conversation with Jean, “he said that he can set us up a profile on Instagram or Facebook, get us rolling. I think it’s worth giving it a shot, but you should be the one with the final decision on this matter.”

“How nice of you, letting me decide about my own gym.”

“Yup, I’m just that amazing.”

“All right, fine, I’ll set a meeting with the guy. Good thinking brat.”

Turning, seemingly ready to go back to his own business, Levi took a few steps before stopping himself and turning back to face her.

“Uhm… For this promotion thing, we’ll probably need to snap some pictures, right?”

“Obviously.”

Anyone could take those, but now that her brother mentioned it, Mikasa got an idea. She was spending a lot of her time working with a full set of professionals lately, wasn’t she?

“I could ask someone from Dot’s crew to cover us, if you want.”, she offered, but to her surprise, Levi shook his head.

“I already got someone in mind.”

“Do I know him?”, she asked, but all he did was look away and mutter something she couldn’t catch.

“Or her?”, she tried again, this time making her brother blush very slightly.

Opting not to answer, Levi started moving again, walking away at a brisk pace. With him disappearing back into his office, Mikasa redirected her attention back to Eren, smiling.

“Now where were we?”

But when she moved in for the kiss, Eren leaned backwards, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry Miki, but I’m not sure I can continue with Levi right behind my back.”, risking a quick look towards the office, he sighed, “Dude still scares me sometimes.”

A minor setback, one Mikasa decided she would overcome, no matter what. Levi wouldn’t cockblock her, well, Eren technically, she had no intention of letting him come between her and her pleasure. The days of her big brother banging on the door of her room, asking what the hell is going on were over. To be honest, it happened only once, and she and Eren were way too loud back then, but the point remained. Standing up, she pulled Eren upright, not letting go of his hand as she began walking in the direction of the changing room.

“Where are we going?”, her victim wondered, stumbling after her, as the tempo she set was rather a swift one.

“I need a shower.”, Mikasa stated, not even looking back to see Eren’s reaction. She was rather sure that it would be a happy one. “And I was wondering if you would be so kind as to wash my back?”

If there was one place Levi surely won’t bother them, it was the bathroom. So, leaning forward, Eren whispered his reply into her ear.

“Lead the way.”

The water was cold, but Mikasa’s body was warm, pressed against his, more than making up for it. Her hands were tangled in his hair, which was finally left hanging free, same as hers, the workout bun and ponytail removed. His own fingers were on a mission, traveling over her chiseled back, down the perfect curve of her spine, and finally reaching that bountiful land of her ass, where he could really dig his fingers in and… She hissed in pain, recoiling from his touch, which in turn made him stop immediately.

“Miki? What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

“No, it’s all right, just…”, she looked up, an uneasy expression on her face, “Don’t grope it that much, not yet.”

Curious, he leaned forward, following the path he made with his hands with eyes instead, wanting to see how he caused the discomfort. The bruises on her backside surprised him, the hand-shaped mark on the left cheek especially, but it wasn’t that hard to do a quick memory jog and discover the cause.

“Did I do that?”, he asked, although he of course already knew the answer.

Mikasa rolled her eyes at him.

“No, of course not. It was Mr. Incognito.”

“Right. The bastard, he can’t keep getting away with this.”

But while talking was all fun and stuff, there were other things she came here to do, so Mikasa tapped Eren’s chest, redirecting his attention back from her rear to her face.

“Back to work, soldier. And easy on the ass, that’s an order.”

“Yes ma’am.”

It still felt unreal sometimes, having the dream they worked on for so long actually finished, solid, a thing you could touch with your hands. It was like yesterday, when Sasha barged into his house, presenting her grand idea to him, but here they stood, all of them, the big circle of his friends that made the dream come true. Running his palms over the smooth wooden surface of the counter, Armin made his way into the main room, where everyone was gathered, waiting for… well, something, because judging from the looks on their faces, they didn’t seem to comprehend the situation either.

“It’s done then?”, Carla voiced everyone’s unspoken question, getting Armin’s attention. But before he could answer, the door opened and Sasha appeared, smiling radiantly, while Connie walked in behind her with his usual stoic expression.

“Yes it is! As of today, our bar is finally….”, she stopped in the middle of the room, throwing her hands above her head in celebration, “finished!”

When no one reacted, as the group simply exchanged looks, save for Eren who pulled Mikasa closer with the hand he had coiled around her waist, and whispered something in her ear, grinning. She giggled, and swatted his shoulder playfully, but that was hardly the approval Sasha was looking for.

“This is the part where you clap.”, she informed everyone in the room, frowning.

Round of applause later, started by Armin, Sasha finally smiled, gesturing for the group to calm down.

“Now, since we are all gathered here, I would like to take this opportunity to express my thanks. We would have never done it if it wasn’t for you.”

“Where our money?”, someone called, jokingly, making everyone laugh.

“Your long hours without any compensation have come to an end however,”, Sasha continued, “as with the bar finished, me, Connie and Armin, the triumvirate of owners, have decided that it’s time to reward you all. Before we officially open, there will be a day, only for us, and we will do something special together.”

She took a small break, to heighten the anticipation.

“A tournament!”

“…. In what?”, asked Jean, confused just like the rest of them.

“Tekken! The fighting game everyone enjoys.”

Now everyone might have been a bit of a stretch, because while Eren, Mikasa and Jean looked very happy with the choice, others were not exactly ecstatic. It kind of made sense, as the tournament was Eren’s idea in the first place, and he supplied both the console and the game.

“You can count me out.”, Levi shook his head, “I don’t play games.”

“Pussy.”, murmured Hange next to him, but he decided not to react to such cheap provocations.

“I won’t play either.”, Carla chimed in, “But I’ll watch for sure.”

“Oh c’mon guys, it will be fun!”, feeling the need to lift spirits, Connie stepped forward, “I don’t really do stuff like that either, but I’m willing to give it a go. The evening won’t be just that, you can drink, sing karaoke, play darts or pool, whatever you want. Just think of it as a test drive for everything, to see if it works.”

A bit of ruckus later, everyone, save for Levi, seemed to come to terms that it was happening, and the overall mood improved. Hange was furiously abusing the screen of her phone, apparently deep in her research already. Connie, the master of manipulating public opinion.

“We’re gonna give everyone a week while we hammer out the tiniest details left, and you guys better go and start practicing.”, he pointed at the happy gamer trio, “You don’t want to lose to these dorks do you.”

“You’re so going down.”, Eren whispered to Mikasa’s ear, smirking.

“Just like at the gym?”, she teased back, watching in satisfaction as his ears turned a tiny bit red, the memories of the fight and especially what followed coming back.

“One last thing….”, Connie raised his voice to get everyone’s attention back, “If you want to bring someone, anyone, do it, because we need to be ready for a full house. That’s all.”

Sitting on a table, Armin rubbed his chin, thinking. He did know someone who could come, but would she?

“Doc, before we start, I have a question.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“There’s another thing going down at the bar, the one I partially own. We have a small celebratory party, before opening, and I was thinking…. Would you come?”

“Well this feels like a déjà vu. Didn’t you ask me the same thing before Halloween?”, Hitch pointed out, watching Armin shrug.

“I did. But you enjoyed the thing, didn’t you?”

Oh yes, very much so. And she connected with Jean at the party, that was a nice bonus.

“You know what? Fine, I’ll come. I don’t have to dress as anything this time though, do I?”

“No,”, Armin smiled, “but there is something else.”

Hitch gestured for him to go on.

“There’s a tournament in Tekken, in the evening. You could take part.”

“Ehh, fighting games? I was never a big fan of those. I’m more of a Sims type of a girl.”

“It’s happening in a week, so, take your time, think about it. You don’t have to play If you don’t want to.”

“All right.”, she nodded, taking her notes from the table, “Now with that out of the way, can we start?”

Shifting a bit on the sofa, finding the most comfortable position, Armin nodded. Nodding back, Hitch began their session.

“Tell me about your week then.”

“Darius Zackly! Long time no hear friend.”

“Dude, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“I told you I’ll squeeze you in between Christmas and new year, right? And it’s been months and I haven’t even called you. Man, work was just freaking insane, and add my permanently nagging wife to the mix and…”

“Hey, it’s fine, there’s no rush.”

“Well I still feel like an asshole. Do you still have the customs for me?”

“Yep, totally. Need to talk with you about a few things.”

“Great. Listen, is next week okay? You can drop by anytime and I promise on my grave, actually no, on my wife’s grave, that I will make time for you.”

“That’s perfect. See you next week?”

“See ya.”

The call ended with a click, and Eren put down the phone, grinning in satisfaction. There were a lot of stuff he needed to discuss with his gear provider, as his mind was running rather wild lately, with all the possibilities and things that could be done…. He could always just blame the shortened work hours, because with a lot of free time on his hands, the ideas just kept coming and coming.

“Who was that?”, Mikasa called from the kitchen, where she was working on their dinner. She volunteered to cook, as Eren was usually the one doing it, and told him that she needs no help, to just go and sit his ass down. Well, Eren wouldn’t argue with that, so as per her wish, he sat down, fiddling with his thumbs while she worked.

“A friend.”, he replied, not wanting to spoil the surprise.

“A friend huh? Do I know him?”

“Maybe you do. Maybe you don’t”

“Is talking straight too hard for you?”, she sighed, turning the meat, “Or did the fear or getting your ass kicked in the tournament already darkening your brain.”

Eren snorted.

“Oh please. I’ll school you so hard, you have no idea.”

For reasons unknown, Mikasa laughed upon hearing that.

“Funny that you would use that word.”

“What word?”

“School.”

“And why is that funny?”

Now it was her turn to be all smug and mysterious.

“You’ll see baby.”

She turned her attention back to the cooking, and Eren was left wondering just what the hell she had planned. Oh well, nothing to do but wait for it anyway. He can handle it, whatever it is.

Hopefully.

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018

Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.

Hold The Sunset

The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.

An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.

Avengers: Infinity War

Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.

I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.

That was a mistake.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.

Agony

When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’

I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.

Peter Rabbit

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.

Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.

It’s about as bad as you’d expect.

Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.

Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.

Fallout 76

I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.

Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.

Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.

Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again

I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).

How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.

The Cloverfield Paradox

A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.

The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.

The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2

This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.

I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.

There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.

And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.

The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.

The Predator

I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.

People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!

This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.

What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D

So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...

Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.

[imagination-of-a-melted-bitch]

It’s A Hate-Hate Thing || Part II {Im Changkyun}

Part 1

Prompt:  Hi! I don’t know if you’re taking requests but I read your I.M smut (It’s A Hate-Hate Thing) and I loved it so much! I was wondering if you can make a part 2..?

Author: Tay

Pairing: Changkyun x Reader

Word Count: 10k

Warning: nipple piercings, oral sex (male and female receiving), kitchen rendezvous, sexts, multiple orgasms, squirting, 

It had been a few weeks since Changkyun and I's little hook-up and I can honestly vouch that I liked it more when we didn't like each other. The foregoing weeks had been filled with awkward silence, glances and the occasion awkward conversations. Most of them going something along the lines of me asking if he needed to get in the bathroom before I took a shower and vice versa. Also, how could I forget? The boys wouldn't stop teasing us and we've both almost blown a few gaskets but shared a look and remained silent. Most of it was harmless anyhow.

I had woken up this morning feeling the best I’ve felt in weeks. I knew all the guys’ schedules like the back of my hand and so I knew Changkyun would be out of the house today.

"Good morning you bitches!" I laughed walking into the kitchen, feeling a million pounds lighter because of the lack of Changkyun in the dorm today. "How did everyone sleep?" I wrapped my arms around Minhyuk and Wonho's shoulders, playfully kissing each of their cheeks. "Why so quiet?" I pout, sauntering toward the fridge to grab the jug of apple juice.

"Why so happy?" Shownu slid into a seat at the island, digging his spoon into his bowl of cereal. "Is it because the maknae is out of the house?" This was the first time anyone had bothered to mention the fact it got so awkward after Changkyun and I slept together but instead of blowing up like I assumed everyone else assumes I would, I smiled.

"Actually...yeah," I shrugged, "It's been so awkward and I'm embarrassed by the fact I've been acting like a dog with my tail between my legs. I mean...Changkyun and I slept together, we're grown-ups, grown-ups sleep with other grown-ups and they get over it."

"Maybe it's awkward because you guys live together," Kihyun shrugged, always the one to put his two cents in but to remain helpful. "Or maybe it's because before you two slept together you hated each other's guts." I tapped my chin and sipped on my drink, "Ever thought of that?" I roll my eyes and go to smack him upside his head but realize...he was right.

"...We just don't know how to address each other now because we've never had a decent conversation," I piggyback on Kihyun's word, smiling as I come to a full realization. "That's totally it! I'll talk to him tonight about...everything." I look around the kitchen, meeting everyone's eyes. "Guys!" They all blink, snapping out of a small daze. "Stop thinking about me having sex with Changkyun...it's weird!"

I stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my room, cup still in hand, though it was almost empty. I had to think and plan what I would say to Changkyun, I just couldn't throw these newly found accusations at him without an outline of some sort.

I spent two hours thinking it over, pacing my room, practicing conversations with myself and it might have been the fact I was an overly optimistic person but they all ended well. I was snapped out of my one-sided conversation by the door opening and my head snapped toward the door.

"I'm home," I heard Changkyun call and there was a shuffling and no response. "Wow," He laughs to himself and I open my bedroom door, shuffling down the stairs.

"We need to talk," I lead him to the couch and motion for him to sit down as I do. "Stop looking so tensed, we're grown-ups and grown-ups talk." Changkyun laughs at this and nods, relaxing into the couch.

"Okay..." He takes a deep breath, running a hand down his face. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Do you really have to ask?" I kink a brow, "I want to talk about us. Having sex. And why it's been so awkward." I scoot in closer, placing a hand on his knee. "I mean, I know we used to hate each other and since we've had sex we haven't talked about it." Without thinking about it, I had begun to run my hand up and down his thigh. "We haven't talked about our feelings or what to do next and Kihyun made a very good point earlier when he said that."

"Yeah, yeah," Changkyun looked down at my hand, nodding his head along to what I was saying. "We really should talk..."

"Oh I'm sorry," I talk my hand off his thigh, moving my hands back to my lap. Changkyun's head snaps up and he tucks his lip between his teeth. His eyes were scanning my face as if he were thinking what to say next but regretting it, thinking about it again and then regretting it again. "Changkyun are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine," His eyes land on my lips and he brings a shaky hand up to cup th side of my face. "I'm sorry but ever since we slept together I've been thinking about every inch of you and it's been so awkward because I just don't know how to ask you to let me fuck you again." With that, he pushes his lips against mine and I melt into the kiss, I hated to admit it to myself but I've been thinking about his lips and how they felt against mine for the last few weeks.

"What the fuck Changkyun," I whisper against his lips when he pulls away from the kiss.

"I'm sorry," His hand falls to his lap and for the first time in forever, he looked nervous. "I just...I get so fucking hard at just the thought of being inside of you, please let me be able to feel that again," He looked on the verge of crying and looking down I notice the bulge in his khakis.  

"Changkyun," I cup the side of his face, pressing my forehead against his. "You've been basically ignoring me for weeks and you think I'm going to let you fuck me that easily? With that puny ass excuse for begging for me?" I chuckle and run the tip of my tongue over the outline of his lips. I place my hand on his bulge and squeeze, "Come back to me when you really want to fuck me again," I pat his thigh before standing up, leaving him on the couch with blue balls.

"Y/N you can't leave me here like this," I look over my shoulder at him as I walk up the stairs, sparing him a small smile. "Please!" He clasps his hands together, shaking them at me.

"I'm sorry Changkyun...I'm so very tired."

It had been a week since I had left Changkyun on the couch and it had been a week since the awkwardness dissolved in the house. Changkyun and I no longer shared awkward anything but the sexual tension was so thick you could cut it with the flick of a knife.

There had been a few incidences where we'd be alone and he'd press himself against me or teasingly grip my thigh but I had turned him down each time. He'd always whisper the same thing in my ear, "I think I'm ready now miss, please miss," and I know he was playfully using the term miss but that didn't help how wet and weak I got each time he did so.

I wouldn't let him know that though, so I would respond with the same answer. "Changkyunie, you don't sound too convincing...baby boy," I didn't know what we were doing but it was a complete turn around from what originally happened, I was in charge and I was loving it. Ever fucking second of it.

I guess Changkyun wasn't enjoying it as much as I was. Sometimes your hand isn't as good as a vibrator. "Y/N, I need you to cut the bullshit, I've been rock hard since our 'talk' and you've done nothing but be a tease about it." Changkyun approached me one day, in the kitchen, the others still upstairs sleeping. It was one of their days off and while the others were relaxing Changkyun was pacing the kitchen floor,

"Changkyun," I put down the other half of my sandwich and brush my fingers together to get the crumbs off. "Have a seat," I nod toward the chair across from me and he desperately scrambles to sit down. "I've noticed you've been sexually deprived these last few days...is this correct?" I deepen my voice to make it sound professional and he sticks his tongue in the inside of his cheek, scoffing in disbelief.

"Yes! I figured you would know, being one of the biggest teases on the earth. I asked you for one simple favor, to let me fuck you again after you brought it up and then you left me on the couch with blue balls. Literally, I was so hard and my hand wasn't helping because all I could think about was fucking you again." He slammed his fist on the table and I placed a finger against my lips.

"We wouldn't want to wake the others would we?" Changkyun quickly shakes his head and his hands fall to his lap. "Changkyun how badly do you want to fuck me?"

"So fucking badly," He whispers through clenched teeth, "If I'm being honest if I were to fuck you right now I don't know how long I'd last I've been wanting to feel your pussy wrapped around me for long." I smile at his words, waving a hand through the air.

"You flatter me," I bat my lashes and giggle making him shake his head, scoffing once again.

"Do you think this is a joke?" I stop my antics and stare him dead in the eye,

"Yes! And I do have something you want and you're not being very nice to me right now." Changkyun runs a hand over his face before pinching the bridge of his nose. “Now, I’m going to go take a shower.” I sultry whisper, eyes falling to his bulge. "Try not to think about it too hard, wouldn't want you creaming your pants or anything,"

Changkyun grunted in response and watched me walk out of the kitchen. “Why are you such a fucking tease?” Is the last thing I hear from him as I bound up the stairs the biggest smile on my face.

“What are you so smiley for?” Minhyuk asked as he walked out the room, rubbing his eyes. “It’s nine in the damn morning,” I roll my eyes at him and continued onto my room, “Oh no! Changkyun are you still alive?”

“Unfortunately!” Changkyun calls back and I can hear the desperation in his voice as he does so only making my smile harder as I close my bedroom door behind me.

Turning the shower off, I heavily sigh, reaching out to grab my towel. I wrap it around myself and open the door, stepping into my bedroom. “Hi.” I find Changkyun on my bed, coyly waving.

“Ah! What the hell.” I almost jumped out of my skin, “Changkyun what the hell are you doing in my room?” I laugh at myself, shaking my head to clear the alarm from my head.

“I came to see you...” he leans back on his palms, watching me gather my things to get ready for bed. “Need any help?” I scoff and plop down at my vanity, reaching for my biggest bottle of lotion.

“Could you come and get my back?” I throw my towel to the side and look back at him over my shoulder. “Please,” Something flashes in his eyes but he stands up without protest, marching toward me.

“Bottle please.” I reach back to place the bottle in hand and straighten my back, hands in my lap. I watch as he squirts some into his palm and rubs them together before his hands are on my shoulders.

“Hmm,” I whimper, tucking my lip between my teeth, knowing exactly what I was doing to him. “That feels nice,” I tilt my head to the side and let my eyes flutter closed, ‘losing’ myself in the feeling of his hands moving over my back.

“Fuck,” I hear him mutter behind me and I jump, eyes flying open when I feel his hands snaking up my sides.

“Thank you Changkyun,” I speak sternly, smirking when his hands fall to his sides in defeat. “That’ll be all,” Changkyun takes a hesitant step back but turns on his heel and briskly exits the door, slamming the door shut behind him. I giggle and pick up my phone. I open the camera and snap a quick picture of my reflection before sending it to Changkyun. I accompany the picture with the text, ‘How do you like them?’

I put my phone down and turn the ringer off, preparing for Changkyun’s oncoming storm of texts in response to my picture and text. I smile at myself in the mirror, happy I had gotten my nipples pierced a few days after Changkyun and I slept together. I had been advised to avoid having them touched for the first month or so and that’s exactly what I had done. The bars I had in were the standard stainless steel ones with the opal jewels at the ends and I knew basic or not they’d send Changkyun over the edge.

The first text comes sooner than expected and then the others almost make my phone fall off my vanity. I finish lotioning down my body and pick my phone up, trying to not appear too eager to myself.

Changkyun: What the actual fuck?! (10:56 am)

Changkyun: Why the hell are you sending me pictures when I can’t even touch you?? (10:56 am)

Changkyun: Not gonna lie...that pic is going to come in handy later ;) (10:57 am)

Changkyun: Why am I even feeding into your bullshit? (10:57 am)

Changkyun: You’re just going to leave me hard as a fucking boulder while you get off with your pink little vibrator (10:59 am)

I chuckle at the last text, you could hear the bitterness in the written words.

Me: Changkyunie...(11:02 am)

Me: I want you to fuck me too but...(11:02 am)

I squeeze my thighs shut and snap a picture of my closed legs, sending it to him.

Me: You’re not sounding too convincing baby boy (11:07 am)

There’s a grunt from a few doors down and I can’t help but chuckle, feeling heat spread across my stomach. I hadn’t even thought twice about sending Changkyun either of the pictures I had and even though there were risks, he was too eager to fuck me and so he’d never do anything to jeopardize the chance.

Changkyun: Come here...please just come here! (11:10 am)

I stand up for my vanity and walk to my wardrobe pulling out one of the dresses I slipped on when I’d be in the house all day before exiting the room. I slowly walk toward his room and don’t even bother to knock, walking in on a sight for sore eyes. “Hi,” I whisper, tongue darting over my suddenly chapped lips.

There Changkyun laid, hand wrapped around his cock, the upper half of his body against his headboard. He was completely clothed still, his sweats pulled down just enough to have released his cock, but he looked so naked and vulnerable. “Please help me miss, please,” He pleaded and bucked his hips into his hand, teeth clamping shut in frustration. “Just touch me,”

I walk toward the bed, eyes glued on his hand wrapped around his shaft. His fingers looked so pretty in comparison to his ridge shaft. The tip of his cock was a solid angry red, the slit leaking like a broken faucet, the veins in his cock were protruding and it took everything in me to not rush toward him and take him down my throat. “How do you want me to touch you Changkyun?” I finally look at his face and I almost break, nearly falling to the floor, my knees felt so weak. His hair stuck to his forehead due to the light layer of sweat that covered his body, his cheeks were flushed a dark red and his tongue was poking out the corner of his mouth in frustration. He looked so, in other words, fucking beautiful.

“Anything! I just need anything!” I sit at the foot of his head and cross my legs, reaching forward to replace his hand with mine. “Yes, thank you...” He breathes and you can see the weight lifting off his shoulders as his eyes close in bliss. I slowly drag my hand along his shaft, deciding to provide him with some sort of relief. I felt a sense of pride that he was so hard because of me but I also felt bad because he was so hard because of me. Not being able to help myself I lean over and wrap my lips around the tip of his cock, swirling my tongue around the meaty head as my hand quickens on his shaft. “I’m gonna...oh fuck, I’m gonna...” Changkyun cries, fingers gripping the sheets as he begins to involuntarily thrust into my mouth. “Y/N!” Is the last thing he screams at the top of his lungs before I feel his load shooting the back of my tongue, sliding down my throat without any extra effort.

I pulled off his cock and smiled up at him “You were right,” I reference a conversation we had earlier, he admitted he’d cum as soon as he started fucking me, “One pump chump,” I push, hand slowly stroking his cock, pressing kisses to his shaking thighs.

“I’m sorry...I’ve just been so hard and it’s nearly impossible to get myself off,” I pull away from him and stand up from the bed.

“Now you have two things to prove to me. First, I need to know how badly you really want to fuck my pussy and second, I need to know if you’re going to last if I let you fuck my pussy,” I spit at him before walking out the room, desperate to get my vibrator out to get myself off.

“Wait!” I stop at the door and slowly turn to face him again. “Let me help,” He runs his fingers through his sweat-soaked hair and gives me a half smile. “I mean I still have fingers and a mouth,” He flicks his tongue at me and I have to quickly exit the room, a hair away from giving in to his efforts. “Your loss!” He calls after me and I shake my head, willing myself to walk to my room and not back into his room.

“Good morning,” Changkyun pushes himself against me, his morning wood very obvious in his loose shorts. “How’d it go last night?” I couldn’t see him but I know he was smirking, I involuntarily whimper at the loss of contact when he pulls away and sink my teeth into my bottom lip as a punishment.

“F-fine,” I whisper through clenched teeth, shaking from the sheer fact I was ready to jump his bones then and there. I couldn’t even bring myself to think about how we hated each other less than a few months ago, I wanted to fuck him so bad right now.

“If you caved right now no would blame you,” Changkyun comes back behind me and buried his face in the crook of my neck, arms wrapping around my waist. “I’ll forget what you said last night and I’ll fuck you good and right.” His hand finds its way under the side of my shorts and he circles his hand to the front of them, “Right here, right now,” His voice lowers and his finger runs up my slit, “Gosh!” He says in a shrill voice, “You’re soaked, miss...” His voice returns to normal and he pulls on my lobe.

“Changkyun,” I moan, nearly falling onto the floor from the stretch of his finger entering my core. "I just..." My words were literally caught in my throat. Changkyun chuckled against my ear and pushed a second finger into my slickened hole, curling them with expertise. "We shouldn't, I can't, not here-"

"Shhh," He cooed and ground the palm of his hand against my aching clit. "Just let me take care of you," He rocked his hips against my ass, providing himself a bit of relief as he continued to curl his fingers against my sensitive spot. "You feel so tight around my fingers, has no one fucked this pretty little pussy since I did?" I whimper, fingers gripping the edge of the counter. "Answer me, miss," He growls and slows his fingers, coming to an eventual stop. "Has anyone fucked this pussy," He pauses as if thinking over what to say next, the pause so long I was sure he was weighing the pros and cons of what he was going to say next. "my pussy, since I have. They better have not,"

"Oh, shit," My thighs clamping around his hand as his words only serve to turn me on more, "N-no," I quickly shake my head, "No one's fucked me since,"  I bow my head and fuck myself onto his fingers, developing a death grip on the counter. "Changkyun I'm close," I gasp, walls clenching desperately around his fingers, hips rutting toward the counter. "I'm so close..." My eyes squeeze shut and my body shakes against his as I cum around his fingers.

"That's it, miss, that's it," He presses cool kisses against my heated skin as he continues to push his fingers against my sensitive spot, knees buckling at the overwhelming pleasure. He pulls his fingers from my shorts and steps away from me. I weakly turn around and fall into a seat at the island. He lifts his fingers to his mouth and twirls his tongue around the soaked digits, licking the palm of his hand as well. "Thank you miss," He spares me a cheeky smile and turns on his heel before walking from the kitchen.

"Holy fuck," I breath, running a hand over my face. My hands were shaky from the orgasm he had given him and all I could think about was him fucking me on the island. I run my fingers through my hair and watch the kitchen door to see if he'd walk back in, heart speeding up when the door opened again only for Hyungwon to walk in, sleep evident on his face, arms stretching over his head. "Oh...good morning," I stand up from the seat and try not to collapse to the floor, basically failing as I walked out the kitchen like a newborn deer.

"Good morning Bambi,"  Hyungwon mumbled after me, scratching the top of his head.

I made it to my room with a little more effort than usual, cursing the fact I was so affected by a little orgasm the whole way up. "Fuck you Im Changkyun, fuck you." I plop down on my bed and plot for my next move. "Maybe I should just give in..." I sigh in defeat, hands folded, resting on my stomach. I still had Changkyun in the palm of my hand, giving in wouldn't give him all the power.  I reached over and grabbed my phone unlocking it to go to Changkyun's contact.

Me: If we can get all the guys out of the house again...then  I'll cave (11: 42 am)

Me: God, it goes against everything I stand for right now but I need you and I need you bad (11: 44 am)

I chew on the tip of my thumb as I wait for a response, nearly jumping out my skin when I receive one so quickly.

Changkyun: I'll send them out to get drinks on me (11:45 am)

I laugh at his antics but type back a quick 'ok'. I go to toss my phone toward the end of my bed but another text from Changkyun makes me stop.

Changkyun: Wear that yellow set you got last summer...the one you showed everyone in the house but me...(11:46 am)

I kink a brow, remembering the set I had indeed gotten last Summer and had indeed shown everyone in the house because I looked so good in it. I remember going to show Changkyun only for him to get off his bed, headphones in, and slam his door in my face. I had been so pissed at him back then, he hadn't even bothered to look at me and that's what pissed me off the most.

Me: Got it ;) (11: 47 am)

It was now nine or ten something at night and I sat on the couch, watching Changkyun try to get the older members out the house. I was trying my best to keep my laughter to myself but no one was making it easy.

"You want us to what?" Shownu laughed, snatching the cash from Changkyun's hand. "Wouldn't you just prefer to go out with Y/N? Wouldn't that be less of a hassle?" Shownu looks over at me and I shrug, hugging my robe closer to my body.

"No it wouldn't be, it's too much hassle to go down the street so please hyungs...go out! Enjoy yourselves! Go home with someone tonight, but please give us a few hours..." Changkyun looked at me over his shoulder. "We're going to need it." He winks at me and I shyly look away, burying my face in my shoulder.

"Okay ew," Minhyuk scrunches up his face and snatches the money from Shownu's finger, shoving it into his front pocket. "We'll leave right now as long as you never talk to us about your sex life again!" Minhyuk waves his arms through the air and rallies the others toward the door. "For the sake of us all, just please don't go on,"

Changkyun and I watch them all file out the house. Changkyun joining them to slam the door closed, "Thank you!" He smiles and spins on his heel, clasping his hands together. "Miss," He ticks his head to the right and runs his tongue over his lips, "Miss take it off please," He nods toward my form and I can only assume he means my robe and so I stand up giving him a teasing smirk. He takes a few steps toward me, eyes focused on my body as I untied my robe. The look on his face made him look like a completely different person. He looked like sex was the one and only thing on his mind and outside of it, he wouldn't be able to function at the moment. "Hurry Miss," He slowly makes his way to sit on the couch, teeth worrying his bottom lip. "I'm getting impatient," His eyes dart from my hands to my face and then back to my hands, his tongue darting over his lips as he nods for me to go on.

"I'm sorry, baby boy, miss didn't mean to tease you," There's a tug at his lips at the mention of baby boy and I now know for a fact the name has more effect on him than he tries to let on. I finally push my robe from my body, his eyes widening at the sight.

"Holy fuck," He makes grabby hands at me but I only take a step back. "What are you doing?"

"Do you like it?" He eagerly nods his head, making grabby hands at me again. "You would've seen it last summer if you weren't such a jerk," I do a little twirl and when I come to face him again I pull at the garter strap. The set wasn't anything too fancy. It was a simple garter panty and bra set with stockings with a bow at the valley of my breast and one in the middle of the lace garter than ran around my body, right below my belly button.

"You look so pretty in it, I'm sorry I was such a jerk last summer." Changkyun runs his hands over his face, but all I can focus on is the growing bulge in his pants. "Just please stop teasing me miss, come and sit on your baby boy's lap," He pats his thighs but I can only smile.

"How's my ass look in it baby boy?" I turn around again and shake my ass at him, yelping when I feel his hands on my hips, pulling me down into his lap. "Oh, Changkyun," I gasp at the feeling of his cock against my ass. "You really were so hard for me," Changkyun chuckles and wraps his arms around my waist, chin resting on my shoulder.

"It looks so good, I couldn't resist myself," His fingers move over the straps of my garter and he pulls them, snapping them against the sensitive skin of my thigh. "The color looks so pretty against your skin and you have a huge wet spot, right here," His fingers move from my thigh to my core, index finger outlining the shape of my wet spot. "I could barely focus, all I wanted to do was sit you down and eat that sweet cunt of yours." His words make me grind my ass against his bulge, now eager to feel his mouth on my pussy.  "I haven't stopped thinking about the way you taste, that little taste in the kitchen didn't do me any justice," His fingers slip below the band of panties, fingers finding my aching clit.  

"Fuck Changkyun," I whimper, bucking my hips into his touch. "Can you just eat my pussy right here? I'm dying to feel your mouth on my pussy, please," Changkyun pulls his hand from my panties and taps my thigh.

"Stand up for me miss," I do as he says, and he stands up after me, nodding for me to lay down on the couch. I lay down and prop my right leg up on the couch, exposing myself to him. "Pull your panties to the side for me miss, show me that needy little cunt of yours." I hook two fingers in the side of my panties and pull them away from my core, exposing my soaked slit to his hungry eyes. "Fuck," He falls to his knees, cracking his knuckles, eyes never leaving my core. His hands push at my thighs and he leans in, timidly running his tongue up my slit. When I moan and push my hips into his touch he runs his tongue up my slit with more confidence.

"Changkyun," I whisper, hands cradling the back of his head, "You make me feel so good, eat miss' pussy like the good baby boy she knows you are," The words stumble off my tongue without a second thought, so caught up in the moment. Changkyun moans against my pussy and runs his tongue up my slit again. He digs his tongue into my clit, hands push harder against my thighs, opening me up more for his liking. "You're so fucking skilled with your tongue," I shake my head from side to side against the armrest of the couch, nails raking against his scalp. He runs his tongue down my core and pushes the thick muscle into my tight hole. The sound of his tongue against my core was lewd and dirty and it served no other purpose but to turn me on more, my walls aching to be wrapped around something, anything.

Changkyun pulls away from my pussy and he smiles up at me, "You taste like heaven miss, so sweet, so wet, so good," He presses a few quick kisses against my clit, before nipping at it. My eyes widen and my hips buck into his touch, "I'm sorry," He cheekily smiles, "I just couldn't help myself," I push him back into my core, hinting that I wanted him to finish what he had started. His eyes are dark, screaming nothing but trouble as he levels his mouth with my core again. There’s no plot before he nips at my clit, sucking the bud into the heat of his mouth when my hips jerk in response. His hands move from my thighs to pin my hips to the bed, his head moving side to side. His tongue replicated his actions, swiping over my clit in quick motions as he sucked on it harder.

“Fuck!” I whimpered, bottom lip quivering in response to his actions. I had more to say to praise him but all words died on the tip of my tongue, all replaced with moans to let him know he was doing exactly what he needed to be doing. He lays his arm across my waist, moving his hand over the inside of my thigh and to my slit. His eyes flick up to mine and he winks before pushing two fingers into my slickened entrance. “Changkyun,” Is the only thing I can say, hips uncontrollably rolling into his mouth. His fingers curl in attempt to find my hidden spot, eyes flicking over my face, looking for the clue to let him know when he’s found it. “Changkyun,” I fall helplessly against the couch and bring my hands up to run over my shoulders, up my neck and into my hair. I tug at it, eyes struggling to stay open as I try to keep eye contact with him.

“Is that is miss?” He mumbles against my clit, fingers quickly pushing in and out of my aching core. “Right there?” He hits my spot particularly hard and wraps his lips around my clit again. His eyes lock with mine and I know he wants to watch as I fall apart under his touch. My hands are everywhere, over the back of the couch, down my body, over his shoulders, and into his hair. I need something to ground me as he pushes me into my orgasm.

“Oh my god!” I screech, eyes rolling to the back of my head as my orgasm crashes over me. My hips are everywhere, pushing into his mouth, pulling away from him, uncontrollable. “Please!” I cry, pleading for nothing and everything at the same time. “Thank you, Changkyun, thank you,” my brain is hazy, I’m intoxicated by the feeling of his lips against my core, intoxicated by the feeling of his hands on my skin, intoxicated by his eyes on me, it was all just too much. “Changkyun,” I weakly push at his head and he gets the gist, slowly pulling his mouth away from my clit, fingers curling against my sensitive spot once more before he slowly draws them from my core. He sits up and smirks at me, waving the two fingers at me.

“You look a little...spent,” He sticks his tongue out and twirls his fingers around his soaked digits, closing his mouth around them to twist and pull them in and out of his mouth. I whimper at the sight and my eyes travel from his mouth to his bulge.

“Nuh-uh” He grips my knee, "Eyes up here," My eyes travel back up his and he smiles at me, wagging his brows. "We'll get to that eventually," He grabs the back of the couch and leans over my body, rubbing his bulge against my bare slit. "I've been dying to play with these," He pulls the cups of my bra down and his eyes widen to the size of saucers when he sees the piercings I had teased him with. "Are they sensitive?" His hands cup the sides of them and his thumbs hover over them, just waiting for me to tell him it was okay to touch me.

"Go ahead Changkyun," I whisper, watching him in amusement as he awes over my piercings. "Touch them," He runs his thumbs over them and I shudder in response, back arching into his touch. "That feels good," I hum and he smiles, leaning down to suck the sensitive bud into his mouth. "Oh, you little shit," I breathlessly moan, hand coming up to softly run through his hair, naturally pushing him closer. "They're so sensitive," I chuckle, eyes fluttering closed when he circles his tongue around the bud.

"I likey," He whispers, blowing cool air on the bud, "When you can change them I'm going to buy you all kinds of rings, and I want you to show me them all." He moves to the other bub and blows cool air on it first, watching with bated breath as it stands to attention. He gently bites the hardened bud and this is a whole new feeling,

"Changkyun," I cry, eyes widening at the feeling. "God they were right. The stimulation is amazing." Changkyun sucks on the bud, twirling his tongue around it before pulling away with a lewd pop.

"They're so pretty," Changkyun whispers and sits up, hands moving down my body, fingers hooking in my garter band. "Miss?" He suddenly asks, his voice so soft, so light, so suddenly innocent. He looks at me with wide eyes, making himself seem so much more innocent than he actually was, a trick he often pulled on his hyungs. "Can I fuck you?" He pushes one hand under the hem of his pants and gropes himself, head tilting back, soft sighs falling from his lips. "I've been such a good boy, can I finally fuck you, miss?"

I reach forward and wrap my fingers around his wrist, pulling his hand from his pants. "You have been such a good boy Changkyun," I praise him, moving his hand to my navel. "Of course you can fuck me, I've been waiting for you to fuck me for so long," There's a breeze in the room and it blows across my core, goosebumps rising on my skin. "Come on Changkyun!" I pout, "Fuck me!" Changkyun quickly stands up off the couch and pulls his pants to his feet, kicking them toward the recliner in the living room. There's a huge wet spot on his briefs, which I have no time to tease him about because he quickly pulls them down and kicks them away as well. The sight of his cock makes my mouth water, and he knows the effect he has on me even giving his shaft a playful tug.

"Do you want to suck it? You look like you want to suck it but you can't suck it for too long miss or I'll cum in your mouth and I want to cum in your pussy," He steps close enough to tap the head of his cock against my lips, slowly pulling away to create a thin line of precum. "Hmm, miss?" He kinks a brow and traces the outline of my lips with his cock. I open my mouth and this seems to genuinely surprise him, as his actions still for a second. "You're such a naughty girl miss," He clicks his tongue and pushes his cock into my mouth, shoulds shaking when I encase my mouth around his length. "So warm," He moans, rolling his head in appreciation of my actions. I twirl my tongue around his cock, covering my eager taste buds. "Ever thought about getting a tongue ring?" I run my tongue along his undershaft, raising my brows to wordlessly answer his question. "Fuck!" His fingers cradle the back of my head, and he pushes my head further down his shaft, stopping when I gag around him. My hand comes up to grip his hip and I push further down on his cock, letting him know I'd be alright taking his whole length. "Have you been practicing miss? Do you deep throat your cock wishing it was mine?" He growls, snapping his hips into my mouth, "God I help you've been practicing with your toy thinking about it being my cock, that means you're thinking of me, thinking about sucking my cock one day,"

He pulls me off of his cock and smiles at the sight of the thick strings of spit connected from my lips and the tip of his cock. "Changkyun you talk too much," I flick my tongue over his slit, leaning forward to take him into my mouth again, eager to feel the weight of his cock on my tongue once again. "And if you're going to face fuck me, face fuck me," I shrug, "I can take it Changkyun," Changkyun grunts at this and tightens his grip on my hair, pushing me down on his cock, actions quick until my nose is flat against his lower navel.

"You want me to face fuck you?" He kinks a brow, accepting a challenge I had never officially laid out for him. "I'll face-fuck you then," He ticks his head to the side and begins to snap his hips into my face, the tip of his cock slamming into the back of my throat. I gag around him, eyes watering at his actions. "Think you bit off more than you could chew?" His teeth clamp down on his bottom lip before he tilts his head back, hips never slowing, my walls enviously clenching nothing. "I think you did, miss, a lot more," He harshly pulls his cock out of my mouth and cups my chin, slapping my cheek with his fingers. "If I wasn't so set on cumming inside that tight ass pussy of yours I'd fuck your throat raw, so raw you wouldn't be able to talk for days." I roll my eyes at him and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand,

"You told the others that we'd need the place for a few hours...you have plenty of time to finish and bounce back," It had only been an hour or so and if I knew the guys like I knew the guys they'd stay out for the hours suggested, a few of them might even go home with someone. I open my mouth and stick my tongue out, batting my lashes at him.

"You are such a naughty little thing miss," Changkyun grips the back of my head and thrusts his cock into my mouth, smiling when I gag around him. I close my mouth around his length and wink up at him. "You like the feeling of a cock on your tongue, don't you?" Changkyun slowly draws his hips away from my mouth and slowly pushes back into my mouth. "You like the feeling of a cock being shoved down your throat," He pulls away and snaps his hip forward, my eyes widening when I choke on him, "Don't you?" He drags his tongue over his lips, rolling his hips against my face.

"I know you do miss, I know you love the feeling of a cock in your mouth, fucking your throat like it's your pussy," Changkyun rasped, his voice making my core tingle, walls clenching around nothing at his words. "I know it because you're such a fucking slut Y/N," He pushes fully into my mouth and smirks down at me, "For all these years, you've been running that mouth when you could've been sucking my dick," I moan around his cock, his hips roughly bucking into my mouth at the vibrations around his cock. "God, miss, you're drooling," Balls of spit roll down my chin, hitting my chest in heavy doses, "I like it," Tears well in my eyes,  and it's getting harder and harder to breath through my nose, "Do you need a break miss?"

Changkyun pulls away so only the tip of his cock is in my mouth, and I flick my tongue against the head of his cock, teasingly twirling my tongue around the tip of his cock. "Miss!" He stomps his foot and pushes his cock back into my mouth, "I was trying to be a good baby boy but you make it so hard miss, so damn hard," He shakes his head and begins to fuck my throat, reaching the deepest depths of my throat each time, giving me room to do anything but sit there and take his cock down my throat. "You look so pretty with tears running down your face, and spit dribbling down your chin, can I take a picture and make it my lock screen?" He playfully laughs, but looks around, checking to see if he had brought his phone down. "You wouldn't mind would you miss? You probably like the risk of it being seen, a cock down your throat, tears streaming down your face, you look so damn pretty miss," He cups my face and wipes away the tears with his thumb. "Can I cum down your throat miss?" I swallow around his cock and the tip of his cock twitches against the back of my throat before his seed is sliding down my throat. "Oh miss!" He rasps, fingers tightening on the back of my head as he cums down my throat. "Oh god miss," He lightly shakes his head from side to side, chest rising and falling as he pulls away from my mouth.

"You had such a big load for me baby boy," I breath, hands coming up to clean my face, but Changkyun grabs my wrist and throws them to the side. "I kind of wish you could've filled my pussy with it," I flick my tongue at him and spread my legs, running my fingers up my wet slit. "Are you finally ready to fuck my pussy Changkyun?" Changkyun plops down beside me and swats my hand away,

"I'm going to need a damn minute," He chuckled, one hand on my core, the other pushing back his sweaty locks. His index finger circles my engorged clit, "I don't think I've ever had anyone suck the soul out my dick, but call it what you want I'm completely spent." He runs a finger down my slit and pushes the single digit into my eager entrance. He smirks at me and begins to slowly twist his finger in and out of my hole, "I can't wait to fuck this tight pussy miss," He pushes in a second finger and I notice the way his softened cock twitches when I clench around his fingers. "I bet I  can make you cum with three fingers," He waves his thumb back and forth at me, curling his fingers against my walls.

"That's no challenge," I roll my eyes at him, kicking his knee with my foot. "You're always trying to make bets, if you're going to make me cum, make me cum," I wave my hand through the air, and blow a little kiss his way.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"I'd love that," I tightly smile, walls clenching around his fingers once again. "Come on Changkyun, make miss cum," Changkyun presses his thumb against my clit and pokes his tongue out in concentration.

"Give me a time limit," He huffs, pressing his fingers harder against my hidden patch of nerves, "Gotta give me something," He pleads, and I tap my chin, thinking over some restrictions on how I could please his need for a challenge.

"Okay, make me cum in three minutes and I'll let you fuck me in any position you want." This makes his eyes shine, little did he know, if he won the bet or not I was going to let him fuck me in any position he wanted to. I just wanted to see if he could do it, "Your time starts...now!" Changkyun begins to erratically swipe his thumb over my clit, fingers rubbing against my patch of nerves. "Changkyun!" I whimper, running my fingers through my hair, "What are you doing?" I jut my bottom lip out, brows furrowing in confusion.

"I'm trying something I saw in a porn once," This worries me but I let him continue, "Don't worry," He laughs at my expression, continuing with his actions, thumb pressing harder against my clit. "How much time do I have?" I shrug,

"Maybe half a minute..." Changkyun presses his lips together, eyes hooding as he focuses on doing whatever he was trying to do. "Shit...that feels...that feels nice," Changkyun's thumb quickens on my clit, and I realize what he's trying to do, he was trying to make me squirt.

"There's gonna be a pressure, but I want you to accept it, I promise it'll feel so good," There's one final push before I'm squirting around his fingers, hips bucking out of control. "There you go, there you go," He coos, fingers now pushing in and out of my sopping hole, juices still spilling around his fingers. "You have so much for me," He bends over and presses a kiss on my clit before completely pulling his hand away from my core. He waves his soaked fingers through the air and then nods toward his lap, his cock now fully erect again. "I just want you over the back of the couch," He simply says, wrapping his fingers around his cock, giving it a few strokes. "Get up for me miss, bend over the back of the couch for me," I narrow my eyes at him but stand up from the couch, walking around it with shaky legs.

"You're a little shit," I whimper as I bend over the back of the couch, "Now come and fuck me," I run my hands over his shoulders and he stands up, hurrying around the couch. "You moved so fast you almost gave me whiplash," I chuckle, teasingly shaking my ass at him. His hands press against my lower back and he moves them over my ass and down my thighs, his hand cupping the back of my knee. He lifts my leg up and braces it against the back of the couch, exposing my pussy to his liking. A shiver runs up my spine when a gust of cool air breezes past my exposed core. "Changkyun," I whine, looking over my shoulder at him, "Fuck me,"

He blinks at me repeatedly, eyes traveling from my core to my face, "Sorry I was just enjoying the view," Changkyun's other hand grabs his cock and he runs the meaty head of his cock up the length of my slit, swiping it across my clit. His lips are pulled into a playful grin, tongue poking the corner of his mouth. He stops at my entrance and his eyes flick up at me before he slowly pushes into me. "I got you, I got you," He wraps an arm around my middle section and pulls me flush against his chest, coming to a halt. "So wet," His body shudders against mine, "So warm," His lips press hotly against my ear, other hand coming up to grip my tit, thumb running over the pierced bud. "You're so fucking hot, miss," Changkyun slowly pulls out of me, and pushes in just as slowly, he was being such a tease for someone waiting to fuck me for as long as he said he was. "I'm going to fuck you like you deserve to be miss I promise," His pace is slow as ever but the feeling of his cock slowly pushing in and out of my tight hole was amazing, "I just need to savor the moment for a second," His hands desperately grab at my body, "You feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock and with the way you like to act I don't know when I'll be able to feel it again."

"Changkyun," My hand comes up to cradle the back of his head, head turning so I can place quick, small kisses against his lips. "Take your time baby, take your time," I drop my hand and my hands grip the back of the couch, head resting on his shoulder. I honestly didn't know what we were going to be after this. I didn't know if it was going to be awkward again after we both got what we wanted, or if it'd be normal and fun like it had been these last few weeks we had been playing this game of cat and mouse. I only knew what I wanted and that was Changkyun, in any way I could get him. "Fuck my pussy how you want to baby, it's all yours," I clench around him and his breath hitches in his throat, both his hands moving across my body, coming to grip my hips. He pulls me back against him, hips slamming against my ass with more force.

"All mine?" His tongue laps against the shell of my ear, "This pussy is all mine? I can fuck it when I want?" His words are slurred, hips gradually picking up their speed. "All mine..." He growls and digs his nails into my skin, teeth pulling at the lobe of my ear.

"All yours Changkyun," I cry, hands leaving the couch to cradle the back of his head. "So fuck me Changkyun, fuck me like I deserve to be fucked," Changkyun's hand grips my chin and he turns my head to press his lips against mine, tongue pushing back the partly closed lips. I moan into the kiss, tongue lapping into the heat of his mouth, clashing against his. It's like something inside of him snaps, his thrust becoming impatiently and harsh.

"Your pussy is so tight and wet, you're so fucking wet Y/N," He breathes against my lips, pecking them one last time. "How's that feel baby?" He pushes the tip of his cock against my rough patch of nerves, my knee buckling at the feeling of his cock pushing against my g-spot. "You like my cock pounding this tight little pussy of yours? You like my big cock splitting this tight little cunt? If this pussy is all mine then this dick is all yours, all yours baby, wherever you want me, whenever you want me." His voice is right in my ear but I can barely hear him over the sound of his cock pushing into my cunt, juices spilling around his cock, some dribbling down my thighs. "I'm gonna cum so deep inside this pussy baby, fill you to the fucking hilt with the load I've been waiting to fill this pussy with," His hand leaves my hip, his fingers finding my clit, pressing against the throbbing nub. "But I need you to cum for me first Y/N,"

"Changkyun," I gasp, my upper-half falling over the back of the couch, fingers gripping the edge of the cushions. My eyes screw shut, walls erratically clenching around his cock the closer he pushed me to my orgasm.

"Cum for me miss, cum around my cock," His words are the trigger that sends me over the edge, waves of fire rolling in my lower belly as I cum for the third time tonight. "Oh fuck!" He cries, fingers stilling on my clit, cock continuing to push into my pussy, Changkyun desperately chasing his second orgasm of the night. "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum inside this pussy miss," Changkyun moves my leg to the floor and bends over my body, chest pressing against my back, he pushes as far as he can into my core and his teeth clamp down on my shoulder as he cums.

My knees buckle at the feeling of warmth flooding my core.  "That's it Changkyun, fill miss with your cum," I coo, hand coming up to cradle the back of his head, nails scraping against his scalp. "Cum for miss, cum for me," I turn my head and press a few cool kisses against his heated skin. "You're such a good boy," Changkyun stands up straight, and slowly pulls his hips away from my ass, his cum dribbling down my thighs. "Thank you for filling miss with your cum," I smile at him over my shoulder and stand up as well, turning to smile at him. I sit on the back of the couch and my hands grip his face, legs wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. "Changkyun, I'm gonna be honest-" The door is flung open and in stumbles a drunk Minhyuk, a just as drunk girl on his arm.

"I-I can't remember if you said to go home with someone or to bring someone home but-" Minhyuk looks at the girl and begins to giggle, foot closing the door, "This is Mindi and we can't find Jooheon," Changkyun and I watch him with furrowed brows as he pulls the girl toward the stairs, both of them ignoring the fact we were naked on the couch.

"We will deal with that later, anyway as I was saying-" The door is flung open again, in stumbling Hyungwon and Wonho, hands over each other. "Are you fucking serious?" They don't respond and find their way up the stairs as well, "I might as well wait for Kihyun and Shownu,"

"No need! They each went home with someone! I don't know who but they were fans, so pray for them!" Wonho screams from the top of the stairs.

"Now," I giggle, pressing a quick kiss to Changkyun's puckered lips, "I was saying that if I'm being honest I don't know what we are or what we're doing but I obviously like you and vice versa," I press another kiss to his lips, smiling as he does. "Maybe we don't have to put any official title on it yet, no boyfriend or girlfriend just grown-ups who occasionally sleep together," I shrug, wrapping my arms around his torso, "Is that fine with you?" He eagerly nods his head and kisses me this time.

"Of course," He pulls away and grabs my robe from the couch, pulling it around my body. "Now as much as I would like to bask in the glory of this agreement, we have to go help the others, and we have to find Jooheon." I giggle at Changkyun and press a final kiss on his lips, pushing him away from me. "If you don't mind, I'd rather go look for Jooheon, they tend to get messy when their drunk," Changkyun winces, "I'm going to go get my phone, and track down Jooheon's phone, I had his find my Iphone turned on years ago, this isn't the first time we've lost him,"

Changkyun goes to walk away but I grab his wrist, pulling him back toward me. "I want you to sleep with me tonight, that okay?" Changkyun kisses me once more, his face splitting into a wide grin.  

"That's more than okay, I'm gonna go before monbebes find Jooheon, I'll be back in an hour, wait up for me," He kisses the corner of my mouth before rushing off up the stairs.

"I guess that leaves me with the three damn stooges upstairs,"

[parkjmini]

Outlier | the end

poly!au: park jimin x reader x kim jennie while your lovers said they needed you, you wondered if they knew how much you needed them. word count: 3988 genre: angst warnings: explicit language

[an]: nothing is medically accurate lmao im so sorry i researched like 70 percent and then i implied everything else so dont trust me idk what im talking abt. but a BIG thank you to everyone who sent me so so so much support and feedback for this entire series bc i wouldn’t have had the motivation to finish. getting those messages after posting a chapter made me giddy for my own story and i know what happens. I truly love interacting with my readers and going into plot/character analysis, i just love hearing everyone’s thoughts and thinking processes bc we all interpret things differently, again, thank you everyone who enjoyed reading this story (: 

prologue . 01 . 02 . 03 . 04 . 05 . 06 . 07 . 08 . the end 

After confirmation of the surgery, it became prepping sessions. Your doctor slowly took you off the chemo and gave you medication to ease any discomfort. You were given less visiting hours because you needed to rest. 

But your troubles stirred when you were alone. The moment replayed in your mind when Jennie told you that they were broken up. There was nothing you could say, nothing for you to fix. Jennie and Jimin were respectfully dating you, aware of your decision for still wanting to be with the both of them. It didn’t feel the same though, it didn’t feel secure or safe.

There was no way you could date them separately. Jimin lacked what Jennie brought to the relationship and vise versa. It wasn’t complete without the both of them. Your nurses didn’t let you worry about that, brushing away Jimin and Jennie during your resting hours. 

Jungkook visited you once after you added him back onto your list. He also brought you a vase of your favorite flowers. There was part of you where you didn’t want to make things awkward, but the other part didn’t allow for that. Instead, you blurted out that you knew about his crush on you. Then, he left quickly after you rejected his offer to be with him.

Hoseok respected your time and didn’t visit when he wasn’t allowed to. You were aware of how he had other important events in his life, but you really wished he tried to see you more. You’d hate to admit it, but Hoseok seemed to be the only person you could turn to for any non-biased advice. Since he stopped coming around often, you had to turn to your nurses.

The two weeks were absolutely the dullest moment in your life. You thought that living in your small town with your mom was bad, this was worse. You were stuck in a huge hospital with no friends majority of your stay. Your nurses were only with you for max ten minutes before they needed to go. You had the television, sleep, and your own nervousness.

Surgery was a big decision, so big that you even called your mom about it. You didn’t have the best relationship with your mom, so calling her was a surprise to even her. She totally didn’t bother to follow up on your life, so she never called first. But, you couldn’t go into surgery with the possibility of death and not tell her about it.

She offered to fly over and you insisted that she didn’t. So when she arrived to see you, you didn’t hesitate to give her a piece of your mind.

“What are you doing here? I told you that you didn’t need to come. Where did you find which hospital I was staying at?” You groaned into your pillow.

Your mom set her things down and crossed her legs while she took a seat across from you. “I asked the school. I’m your mother, for fucks sakes.” 

“Yeah, well you didn’t think that when I was growing up, so now that I’m dying, you decide you should start caring.” You rolled your eyes at her gasp.

“How dare you say that to me? I raised you when your dad walked out on us.”

“If you think being drunk and picking me up from my after school programs means raising me, then yeah. You did great mom.” Your sarcasm came out in train wrecks when it came to your mom; she drew the worse out of you.

“(Y/N), you have cancer and you decide to let me know when you’ve already decided for surgery is not exactly the most responsible daughter thing you pride yourself to be.” She shot back.

Your nurse came in to cue that she only had 15 minutes left before she needed to leave. “It honestly didn’t cross my mind that I needed to tell you since you’ve never cared enough to call me these past years except to invite me to your stupid wedding. Might I also add that you didn’t tell me about until the day before, so that makes two of us.”

“I didn’t raise you for you to treat me like this.”

“You didn’t raise me at all, what are you saying? But how about we talk about something else, since that’s all we ever talk about. News flash, mom, I have fucking pancreatic cancer and I’m going into surgery tomorrow. I’ve been going to chemo these past three months and I have almost to no hair. My body is bruised from being poked by needles. I am dying! Thanks for even having the audacity to come see me before my maybe death tomorrow. Don’t let the door hit you in the face.” You shouted as loud as your lungs let you go.

Your door opened and you both stopped your argument to see Jennie and Jimin standing under the frame. They looked stunned and confused to see the lady who you resembled. “Did we come at a bad time?” Jimin asked.

“No, since this is your visiting time.” You crossed your arms, glaring at your mom.

“Who are you two?” She asked, rudely.

“Mom, that’s my boyfriend, Jimin and that’s my girlfriend, Jennie. Welcome to the modern society of polyamorous relationships where I love two people at once.” Jennie and Jimin have never heard such sarcasm run out of your mouth. You were always just subtle, but this side of you was new.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Jennie stepped forward and your mom got up.

“Well, I can see that you have a whole double life I know nothing about. I guess you don’t need me anymore. Good luck on your surgery and whatever you call a relationship.” She grabbed her things and walked past Jennie and Jimin.

“She was pleasant.” Jimin said sarcastically and you rolled over on your side.

“This is why I never brought you home with me for the holidays.”  Jennie hurried to cuddle up to your side. 

“At least we avoided an awkward argument over Christmas dinner.” She chuckled and kissed your ear.

Jimin sat on your opposite side. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” 

Sitting up in Jennie’s arms, you buried your face in your hands. “No. I’m so scared.” 

“You’re going to be fine. Jennie, Hoseok and I are going to be right outside of your door. We’re going to be with you when you’re recovering. We’re with you every step of the way, we already packed our go-bags.” Jimin tried to comfort you, but you sobbed into your hands. You couldn’t help but cry so much nowadays. Staying strong was hard when you were so vulnerable. 

“And if something happens? Will you be there with me?” It was a rhetorical question that caused them to both fall silent.

“Nothing will happen. They’re highly trained professionals and I made sure you had the best surgeon in this hospital.” Jennie bragged proudly and Jimin laughed.

“Yeah, seeing her demand it was very terrifying. But, she did it. You’re in good hands, baby.” Jimin smiled and kissed the top of your head.

“Can you two just lay with me for the last couple of minutes before my nurse comes and kicks you out?” You sniffed and moved over for Jimin to join the sandwich fest.

“(Y/N), I love you so much.” Jennie and Jimin said in unison, and the unsettling feeling set back into your system.

A group of nurses and surgeons rolled you into a double door room. It was dim, except for the big spotlight that shined above you. Squinting, you saw the surgical masks that blinked back at you.

“Ready?” Your doctor was smiling behind her mask.

“No.” Your voice trembled from your nerves; your palms slick with sweat. “I want to be okay.”

“And you will be, (Y/N). We’re going to start with the anesthetics and we’ll get everything going. Relax, I’m right here.” She held onto your shaking hand and you stared back up at the bright light.

You felt the drugs enter your system, slowly stripping away your consciousness. You’ve already cried out all night your worries and said a few important goodbyes before the day arrived. The jittery feeling caused your body to shake uncontrollably and you were so terrified. This could mean recovery or death.

And while you hoped for survival, you knew the chances were split between the two options. Death was unavoidable, but to die so early shook your bones. Your dreams have just been memories of past events in your life, reminding you of the life you lived. The life you might soon leave. It was harder to ignore death than it was to wish for recovery.

Once your eyelids fell over your eyes, you’ve never felt more alone in your entire life.

“Would you stop pacing? You’ve been walking back and forth for the past two hours.” Jennie complained.

Jimin stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at her, “I’m nervous.” 

“What happened to ‘it’s going to be fine’ and ‘you don’t need to worry’?” Jennie laughed and Jimin rolled his eyes.

“I can’t help that my body reacts the way it does when I’m the slightest worried. How are you so calm about this? They’re literally cutting her open in that room.” Jimin gestured to the closed doors.

“By not thinking about it like that. I’m thinking about the lovely time I get to spend with my girlfriend when she’s done.” Jennie muttered.

Jimin walked up to her and pointed to his chest, “you mean my girlfriend?”

Hoseok pushed the two apart. “She’s both of your’s. Are you two done making a scene in a hospital?” 

Jimin went over to sit next to Hoseok’s other side, making him stuck in the middle of a not-so-friendly feud. Even though they showed up together for visits, they were incredibly hostile to one another when they were alone. 

They slept in separate beds, Jimin taking over your room and Jennie in her’s. They ate dinner with their own friends and didn’t bother to tell each other about their whereabouts. They mostly spoke to each other in scoffs or groans.

Suddenly, the hallway doors were slammed open and nurses were rushing in a big machine --- a defibrillator.

The three of them stood up, seeing how rushed and hurried the nurses looked. The surgery door opened and a surgeon walked out with sweat dripping down the side of his head. The sound of a flat line heartbeat caught the attention of Jennie.

“Her heart isn’t beating, is it?” She was afraid to hear the answer to her question, her chest rising and falling violently.

Your doctor held the door open for the other nurses and defibrillator. “Her pulse went out, but we’re doing our best. But prepare for the worse.” 

Jennie collapsed onto the floor, bawling. “Holy fuck, we’re going to lose her!” She shouted with heavy tears running down her face. It was like her words pulled Jennie’s heart down to the pit of her stomach. Her whole mind and body were shutting down at the news.

“You have to stay calm, Jen.. we’re in a hospital.” Jimin tried to get her up, but she kept slipping his grasp.

“I don’t care! That’s our girl in there and her heart isn’t beating!” She exclaimed and Hoseok helped with holding her up.

Jimin’s head was in shambles, utterly speechless at what was happening. Hoseok was numb to the news, unaware to how to react. They wanted to stay optimistic, that the defibrillator will work. It had to work. 

“Why don’t you two go outside and get some air? I’ll stay here for any further news. Please... it’s not a suggestion. Go.” Hoseok needed to clear them out before they both stressed him out more than he already was.

Jimin walked Jennie outside. The light breeze clearing their heavy, crazy minds. Jennie was choked up by her tears, constantly wiping at her wet cheeks. Jimin stared at the ground, listening to her sorrows. His heart too heavy to express.

“Aft-er -- everything.. --Jimin --- I’m.. really, truly sorry...--” Jennie had trouble speaking with the endless waterfalls from her eyes.

“--Jen..” Jimin barely got out.

“No.. listen to me first. I’ve felt really guilty about all the rumors. We should’ve never gotten together in the first place, especially with someone like me. I’m known as the campus hoe, right? I can’t hold onto a stable relationship even if I wanted to and now my --- girlfriend --- is-- she’s -- dying.” Jennie cried harder, holding her face in her hands as she slid against the wall and onto the ground.

“I didn’t do anything with Jisoo ever. I don’t know how many more times I need to tell you, but I would never hurt you or (Y/N) like that, especially coming from a place where that has happened to me multiple times. Maybe you’ve always secretly doubted our relationship, considering how we got together through an accidental one night stand.” 

“Through our three months together, I fell head over heels for you, Jimin. I’ll admit it. I liked (Y/N) first, but you had a piece of me I didn’t think I could give to anyone after Taehyung. You’re so open, so understanding, so kind. I’ve never fully gotten the chance to explain myself because you keep shutting me down and every time, I believed that my explanation doesn’t matter. I’ve been devalued my entire life by my partners and sadly, I made myself feel that way with you when you ignored my pleads. But I think now is the best opportunity to tell you because we honestly don’t have anyone else who understands us the way we do. We’re both suffering because our girlfriend is in there not breathing. Our girlfriend, Jimin. I love you and through everything, you’re the one of the only people in this world who knows my struggles.” Jennie held him by the shoulders, so he could look her in the eyes as she gripped onto the only hope left in her life.

Jimin invited her into his arms, holding her tight. He had forgotten why he was upset before. He just wanted to be with his girls. He wished, hoped, prayed that things were back to how they were before the misfortune. 

“I’m sorry for making you feel invalid. I’m sorry for hurting you the way I did.” He admitted and Jennie sobbed harder into his chest.

“It’s okay... -- we’ll --- be...”

“--- Okay?” Jimin finished off and she nodded. 

You couldn’t breathe or move. Your lungs collapsed into your chest and you struggled to supply oxygen to your body. You screamed, but no noise came out and your arms were glued to your side. It was like you were trapped in a motionless body.

Everything was turning fuzzy and a white light blurred your vision. This was it. You were dying. You weren’t sure what realization hit you. Maybe it was the lost of breath and your heart rate slowly declining. Maybe it was the blinding light that caught your attention ahead.

Your memories started flashing before you. Jennie and Jimin flooding your mind. Your eyes scanned for anyone else, but them. However, you were left with scenes of your once perfect relationship.

Your first date night. It was the day you officially joined your partners. Jennie hurried you down to meet Jimin. He was cleaned up nicely, standing all cool against his sleek car. He peered up to see Jennie with the biggest smile on her small face, hand holding yours. 

She told Jimin the news and he was overjoyed, ready to hold you in his arms. He rushed you into the car and it didn’t feel much different than it was when all three of you hung out. The only difference was that you’ve never been more intimate with your best friends. 

Your first kiss. You anxiously sat next to Jimin on the couch during a lazy movie fest you were having with them. He had his arm wrapped around you, twirling the ends of your fingers with his. Your heart beating so fast, being not use to the touching from either of them.

He picked up your chin, knowing that you were distracted. It was an instant spark once your eyes connected and soon, your lips did as well.

Your first ‘I love you’. This moment was one of your favorites. It was Jennie’s birthday and you three were excited for the day ahead. However, a huge storm was rolling in and you were almost home. Jimin insisted in stopping to buy more snacks before rushing back. 

Once you all stepped out from the convenience store, it was showering, pouring heavy amounts of rain. Jennie, you and Jimin were drenched within seconds of going outside. Your plastic bags filled up an inch with collected water. Jimin’s leather seats in his car pooled with rain. All three of you laughed with glee as you marveled the escape from the wet mess.

And you suddenly stopped to admire the way Jimin’s eyes disappeared cutely and how Jennie’s nose scrunched up, her adorable snort catching your attention. In the midst of their happiness, you blurted out, “I love you two.”

The news of your mother’s wedding. An invitation was addressed to you. It had pretty cursive handwriting and a beautiful design. It was a wedding for your mom and her boyfriend, inviting you to join them for an evening of unity. You weren’t aware of them even being engaged, let alone a marriage. 

Jennie and Jimin never mentioned your mom, knowing you didn’t like pressing on too much about her. Their initial reaction was for you to go, until you explained that you didn’t even know she was getting married. You had crumpled up the invitation and threw it away in the trash.

Jennie consoled you, reassuring you that it was perfectly fine that you don’t attend. While you sulked in the living room, they approached you with the idea of still giving your mom a gift to congratulate her. It showed that you were the bigger person and that you acknowledge her efforts. They made you a better you.

Throughout every flashback, and every memory, your heart was searching for something beyond them, an image that wasn’t them. You laid there, dying, and all you saw was your girlfriend and your boyfriend. There had to be more than that and your heart was looking, waiting, for any other memories to surface. 

But nothing. It was only them and you couldn’t help, but feel a little disappointed. For the last few years of your life, you’ve revolved your entire world around these two people. You’re alone, not because you’re not social, but because you chose to focus all of your efforts into your relationship. And as you slowly lost sense of your consciousness, you became regretful about how you lived.

You heard distant voices, “1, 2, 3!” and you slowly opened your eyes. There was a rush of air that filled your lungs. Your vision adjusted to the bright spotlight and the many surgical masks above you. 

“She’s awake! We got her pulse!” They cheered and one of the nurses pulled down his mask.

“You’re going to be okay, Ms. (Y/N). The surgery was a success.” He smiled and you nodded, reaching for his hand to hold to make sure it was your reality. 

“We’re going to move you to your recovery room now, but you did really well.” The young nurse cheered with so much excitement, there were tears in his eyes. He was a complete stranger that just saved your life, yet he was even crying for you.

“T-Than-k yo-u.” You barely made out and he patted your shoulder. You shut your eyes again and felt the bed move and the voice of Hoseok calling after you as natural light hit your eyelids.

Several hours after the surgery and going over the post-surgery care, you carefully sat up in bed. Hoseok had to leave, but the two stayed. Jennie held onto you tighly, and Jimin blinked at you with stars in his eyes. But the thought you had while you were close to death never left your mind. 

“There is something I need to talk to you about.” You began, and Jimin and Jennie shared glances. “There was a lot to think about when I went under, my heart stopped for a few minutes and I was so close to my death. All I saw were our memories. I saw you two, but... something inside of me longed for something else, something more.” 

“If it’s not the three of us, then I don’t want to be in an individual relationship with either of you. That would mean making me choose and I don’t love one more than the other. It’s either both of you or neither. I will always love you two with all that my heart has to offer, but my life is so valuable and I need someone who is going to recognize that. I realized that the best for us is that there simply is no us. I love you both so much, I really do, but right now is not the right time. I’ll never forget us. ”

“Jennie, you were the first girl I love. Jimin, you were the first boy I love. But throughout it all, I won’t try to remember us. Maybe we’ll realize each other’s worth once we’re ready for it and we’ll be new people when we meet again.”

Jennie didn’t let go of your hand, instead, she nodded to every single word that you poured from your heart. “If that’s what you think is the best option for us, then I’ll accept your decision.” She agreed and no longer shed any more tears. She knew it was for the better, even if it did break her heart.

With a turn of events, Jimin was actually the one crying this time. Jimin’s tears spilled down his plump, supple cheeks. It was difficult for him to talk.. it was difficult for him to express how he felt in general. “I felt so regretful because I thought I was going to lose you forever when I was ready to trade my life for your’s. I’m just happy you’re alive and breathing. I respect your decision and I think that you’ll always know what’s best for us three.” 

Your heart was healing, bit by bit. The shock of almost death woke you up and you no longer wanted to be trapped in something that didn’t seem to work out well anymore. It was time for an end. It was time for change and you were more than thankful to have Jennie and Jimin, who loved you so much, they were willing to let you go and live life with no more regrets. 

Jennie smiled before gently kissing your hand, “I’m unsure how long me and Jimin would’ve lasted without you, but we were two people who fell out of love for each other, but back in love through you. I want you to know that even though you felt like you didn’t belong in our relationship, you were actually the connection between us. You were the reason there was an us.”

It was an epiphany ---- you were not the outlier in the relationship. You were the core center. Jennie and Jimin were more than thankful to have you in their lives, who loved them so much, that you were willing to look past their differences and to fight through every trial. 

“You were the reason there was an us.” That single line replayed in your thoughts, in a constant loop. And you smiled at Jimin and Jennie, the monitor beeping being the only noise in the room.

“I love you both, don’t you ever forget that.” 

[bastardnev]

That Guy Next Door

im finally fuckin posting this dad au fic im losing it, i meant to post this earlier but tumblr kept glitching so!!! here it is!!

anyways as i’ve said a few times already, this fic will be updating on a weekly basis, which means that there’s gonna be one new chapter every friday until all of them have been uploaded. i hope you all enjoy this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it!!

link to ao3

tagging: @tylerblacks @joonhobi @rivela @aliciasfox @sailor-slam-dunk @kidvoodoo @smolsammich  @simulated-heat @douglas-leon-michael (lemme kno if you wanna be added to my tag list!!)

Chapters: 1/16 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville, Wade Barrett, Original Child Character(s), Other Character Tags to Be Added Additional Tags: Rating will go up, wink wonk, Parenthood, Single Parents, Post-Divorce, Alternate Universe - Parents, god for a sec i didn't think there was a parent au tag on here and i was gonna be so confused, First Meetings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Summary:

"yo" "do me a favor when you get home" "i can see there’s someone new moving in next door" "introduce all of us to him plz n thx"

Single parent Neville was convinced that he would never find love again following his divorce. Little did he realize just how much these four texts from Wade would change his life.

The more that time passed, the more it seemed like Neville was never going to be able to escape this stupid little office.

He was never going to get away from his desk. From his computer. From his phone that never seemed to want to stop ringing for thirty goddamn seconds. From the sounds of his co-workers typing away on their own keyboards. From his boss who almost always seemed to have some new, pointless assignment for him to complete whenever he passed by his cubicle. Such were the woes of working for such a big company…

He told himself that this job was only temporary. Every day he would remind himself that he was only going to be there until he was back on his feet following his divorce. As difficult as this was, it wasn’t going to last forever.

But then a time where he was financially secure enough to start looking for a different job arose, and Neville didn’t jump on the opportunity to leave. He had wanted to stick around for awhile longer to make sure he had completed everything, so that the poor bastard who took this secretary -- no, administrative assistant -- position after him wouldn’t be swamped with missed deadlines and unfinished projects. He didn’t mind staying for a few more days.

Those days turned to weeks. Those weeks turned to months. Those months turned to years.

It had been almost three fucking years since he had the chance to quit, and yet there Neville was, still typing out emails and arranging appointments for higher-ups who couldn’t give any less of a shit about him if they tried.

Sometimes he would stop while in the middle of working, staring intently at his mouse cursor, debating just walking out and leaving this hell behind and never looking back. No one appreciated him. It would make more sense to go elsewhere, wouldn’t it? Where he wouldn’t have to work unnecessarily long hours just to earn a decent pay? Where a boss would actually seem grateful for the work that he puts in?

It was as he would have these thoughts, however, that he would catch sight of the pictures resting next to his computer monitor -- those of two little girls, smiling at the camera and looking so full of life.

His little girls.

The older one was Jennifer, though she was only ever called that when she was in serious trouble (which wasn’t often, now that Neville thought about it) -- otherwise, she was simply known as Jen. She was definitely more like her mother, from having the same light brown hair to the same headstrong personality. Though she was only nine, she was incredibly independent -- almost too independent, however, as she was often too stubborn to ask for help when she was in tough situations.

Then there was Daisy -- ‘Daddy’s favorite,’ as she claimed whenever Neville would do something nice for her (even if he had also done the same thing for Jen). She was six, and even at such a young age she was already showing signs of being just like her father. That is to say, she was becoming a bit of a smartass. True to the little sibling stereotype, she essentially lived to spite Jen, always making sure to say whatever it was she least wanted to hear just so that she could appreciate her over-the-top reactions.

These two lovely children were depending on him. Neville couldn’t quit and risk losing out on money when he knows that they’re counting on him to take care of them.

With that thought in mind, he continued typing.

 If he was lucky, then Neville’s drive from the office back to his home was relatively short, the traffic scarce despite it technically being rush hour.

Unfortunately, that day was not his lucky day.

Despite never actually having met the driver of the minivan that he was stuck behind, Neville felt like he was deeply familiar with their personal life, considering the amount of bullshit on the back of it. There was a stick figure family decal on the back window -- a father, a mother, two little boys, and one little girl. Down on the bumper there were multiple stickers proudly announcing to the world that there were two honors students in the family. What about the third kid? Neville found himself thinking, fingers tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. Are they not good enough for a sticker?

His phone vibrated in the cup holder next to him, and he glanced down at it for a moment before focusing back on the road, pulling up a little once the traffic started to move. He heard the phone vibrate a second time. A third time. By the time the fourth vibration occurred, Neville looked back down at the device and took it in his hands, wondering just what in the hell was so urgent that it required sending that many messages.

Then again, considering that the only person who ever texted him nowadays was Wade, there was no way it was actually anything of substance.

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: yo

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: do me a favor when you get home

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: i can see there’s someone new moving in next door

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: introduce all of us to him plz n thx

Typical. Wade was once again trying to get Neville to do something for him. It seemed like all that Wade had done since moving into the downstairs apartment in Neville’s house was try to butter him up for something. That man truly has not changed since college…

Though Neville ribbed Wade for his tactics, even going as far as to jokingly refer to him as a freeloader in his phone, the truth was that he didn't have any negative feelings towards him at all. In fact, he was actually incredibly grateful for him. Wade had been employed when he moved into Neville’s home after his divorce, but he’d been laid off not too long after, and he’d had no success finding a job ever since. It seemed like every time things were looking up for him and he might have found something other than the occasional odd job, the position was always given to someone else, and as such he was never able to pay his share of that month’s rent.

He was always willing to babysit whenever Neville needed him to, however -- which was fairly often, seeing as his job sometimes required that he stay late at the office. Had it not been for him, Neville would have had to worry about paying a sitter on top of all of the bills and everything else. Difficult as things may be, he was glad to have a close friend like Wade.

Someone actually bought that house, though? Neville thought. It’s been on the market for ages. He could only vaguely remember the small family that used to live there before they abruptly moved because of the father’s job. Though the last thing that Neville wanted to do was give Wade what he wanted, he had to admit that he was just as curious as he was about this new neighbor…

 Me: And why should I do that? Can’t you go over there yourself?

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: your texting while you’re supposed to be driving??

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: dangerous

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: tsk tsk

Me: *you’re

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: SHUT UP

Me: Also I’m in traffic, asshole. Now tell me why you can’t do it yourself?

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: because i just woke up from a nap and have a killer headache and am in no mood to actually socialize

Me: What makes you think I’M in the mood to socialize? I just had a long day at work.

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: because you’re the cuter one between the two of us and it would be better if he saw your pretty face instead of mine

Wade “Freeloader” Barrett: you could win over anyone with those eyes of yours

 It was at that moment that Neville placed his phone back down in the cup holder -- partially because the traffic was beginning to move and he needed to start driving again, though mainly because he’d read enough. Wade always tried to compliment him whenever he was too lazy to do something for himself, and Neville was ashamed to admit that this strategy worked more often than not.

This time was going to be different, however. After a long day of typing away at his desk and going straight into bumper-to-bumper traffic, it was going to take a lot more than some sweet talking to get him to introduce himself to a total stranger.

Neville finally pulled into his driveway about fifteen minutes later, turning the car off and leaning back against the seat with a sigh. Somewhere along the way it had started raining, the droplets of rain tapping rhythmically against the windshield. He loved the rain -- that is, when he didn’t actually have to go walking through it. It was a short walk from the car to the front door. Even so, he was not looking forward to getting wet…

As he gathered his bearings, he took a quick look out of the passenger side window, and he noticed that there was a light on inside of the house next door, and there was an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway. So Wade was telling the truth when he said that there was a new neighbor. Wonder what their story is.

The neighborhood that Neville lived in wasn’t bad by any means, but he didn’t think that it was an area that anybody would want to willingly move into. Most of the residents tended to keep to themselves, the extent of their interactions with one another being a quick ‘hello’ and nothing more. Wouldn’t someone looking for a place to start their new life look for someplace more interesting? Whoever this new person was must have had no other options.

...Then again, it wasn’t like Neville really cared about what this new person thought. He had more important things to worry about then whatever was going on in their mind.

Neville resigned himself to his damp fate and exited the car, making sure to lock it before trekking through the rain and up the front stops until he reached the door. Despite it being closed, he could hear what sounded like a commotion inside -- just what he needed after the day he’d had. What are they fighting over now ? He clicked his tongue and opened the door, bracing himself for whatever the latest controversy was.

“Jen, you said yourself that you didn’t care if she ate your leftovers or not.” The first voice that Neville heard was that of Wade, who was clearly trying to mediate an argument between the two girls, standing in front of Jen while Daisy hid behind his back.

“I said I didn’t want them! I never said she could have them!” Jen had her arms crossed.

“I never ate them, though!” Daisy peeked out from behind Wade, clutching his shirt, dark brown curls falling over her face. “I swear! Why would I want something that you touched?”

“Uh… Hello?” Neville decided to speak up, prompting the three of them to look over in his direction.

“Daddy!!” Daisy let go of Wade and went charging towards him, now opting to hide behind him instead (and prompting a “What, am I not a good enough shield for you?” from Wade). “Jen’s bullying me again!”

“I am not!” Jen insisted. “She’s the one that did something wrong! She ate my food!”

Of all the ridiculous arguments that these two could have had, they had to have one over chicken tenders? Were fights over toys going out of style? “Okay, listen,” Neville started. “Jen, you did say that you didn’t mind if someone else ate them. And Daisy, you shouldn’t insinuate that anything your sister touches is dirty.”

Daisy blinked at him. Neville couldn’t imagine why she looked so confused, seeing as he made a perfectly good point.

“Nev,” Wade said. “She’s six. I don’t think she knows what ‘insinuate’ means.”

“Right… Okay, how about this -- don’t say that anything she touches is dirty. There, is that better?”

Daisy nodded this time. Neville knew her too well, though. It may appear as if she understood, but in reality she was plotting her next move. Chances are she had plenty more insults ready to unleash the moment that Neville’s back was turned.

Jen made a disgusted sound and stormed into the hallway, bounding up the stairs towards her room. Now that her enemy had disappeared, Daisy deemed it safe enough to emerge from hiding, heading towards the kitchen. Neville pushed his glasses up his nose as he watched her go. “How did that argument even start, anyway?” He asked.

“Hell if I know.” Wade shrugged. “I was minding my own business when Daisy came running in here claiming that Jen was going to kill her. Again.”

“Did she even eat the leftovers?”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Then who…” He squinted at Wade. “ You ate them, didn’t you?”

“...Maybe…”

“Of course you did.” Neville sat down on the couch, rubbing at his temples.

“What, did you expect me to speak up? Angry Jen isn’t fun to deal with. The last thing I wanted was to be on the receiving end of her wrath. She clearly got that gene from you.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

Wade took a seat next to him. “Enough about that, though. What happened with the new guy next door?”

“I didn’t talk to him.”

“What?” He looked disappointed. “Not even after I asked you so nicely?”

“Trying to get me to do something for you by buttering me up isn’t always going to work, Wade. I told you that I had a long day today and I wasn’t up for introductions. I’ll get around to it when I’m not exhausted.”

Wade huffed, propping his feet up on the coffee table (and having them shoved off by Neville a few seconds later). “All I’m trying to do is help you get back out there…”

Neville looked at him, eyes narrow. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, did I say that out loud? Oops.” Wade was acting as if that were an accident, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he’d clearly meant for Neville to hear him.

“What do you mean that you’re trying to help me ‘get back out there’?”

“Well, y’know…” Wade began to play with his nails, avoiding Neville’s gaze. “I thought you and the cute new guy next door might want to chat for awhile, maybe hang out sometime, that’s all.”

“You-- Wait, you actually want me to date this guy? This guy who I’ve never even met? Are you kidding me?” Neville had learned so much about Wade in the years that they’d known each other, but never once had he shown any interest in trying to play matchmaker. “Why do you want this so badly?”

“I just thought it would be nice! I know you’ve been lonely lately--”

“And just how would you know that?”

“Nev, I’ve been your friend since college. I’ve been living with you ever since you and Marina split. The last few years have been rough for you romance-wise, and it’s obvious that it’s taken a toll on you.”

Neville swallowed at the mention of his wife’s name. “How do you know ?” He repeated, growing a little impatient.

“I feel like I hardly ever see you smile anymore,” Wade continued. “It’s not that you never smile, it’s just… genuinely happy smiles are pretty rare for you these days. I thought that maybe finding you a nice guy to hang out with would help lift your spirits a bit -- and who knows, something great could come out of this. You should give him a chance.”

Neville knew that he was probably being rude, but he still rolled his eyes, shaking his head and once again pushing his glasses up his nose. He knew that Wade didn’t mean any harm. He was one of the few truly good people that Neville knew, and he would never do anything to hurt him.

This, on the other hand, while it didn’t hurt him by any means, was on a whole different level. “Wade, listen… I understand that you’re just trying to help,” Neville started. “I appreciate that you’re looking out for me. But I know I’ve told you before that I’m not interested in finding a partner at the moment. I have a family to support, and I don’t have time to be fooling around with romance right now.”

“Okay…” Wade’s shoulders drooped. “Sorry if it seemed like I was forcing you into something that you didn’t want.”

“No need to apologize.” Neville stood up from the couch, stretching. “I gotta go get changed. These clothes are so damn uncomfortable.”

“It’s times like these where I’m almost glad I don’t work,” Wade commented, watching Neville as he made to leave the room. “Otherwise I’d have to wear stuff like that .”

“I envy you, I won’t lie.”

Neville arrived at the top of the steps and started to make his way down the hallway. He briefly stopped in front of the door to the girls’ room, knowing that Jen was most likely still stewing inside. He knew that she would get over it eventually, but it still bothered him knowing that she was angry with the wrong person. Maybe once she calms down we can tell her… Though Wade will probably be scared shitless while we do it.

He continued down the hall and made it to his own room, taking off his jacket and tossing it onto the bed. He was about to start undoing the buttons on his shirt when he noticed that the window was open, and he let out a little annoyed noise. Great, now the floor is wet…

It was when he went over to close it that he once again caught sight of the house next door -- in particular, his eye was drawn to the window. He could see that there was someone moving around inside, but he was only able to see his back. There he is, the man of my dreams… or so I’ve been told.

Neville wasn’t in the mood to be accused of being a creeper, so he quickly shut the window and closed the blinds, resuming his undressing. Whoever the hell this new guy was, he wasn’t interested in watching what he assumed were his dinner preparations (nor was he willing to strip right where he could see it).

For all the complaints that Neville had about his job, there was one thing about it that he did like -- the fact that he was able to work from home on Fridays.

He was set up at the kitchen table, lazily scrolling through the emails that were gradually piling up in his inbox. Most of them didn’t even concern him -- in the beginning they were about figuring out what time would work best for everyone for the next meeting, now most of them were people debating which day of the week would be better between Monday and Tuesday. I’m stuck in that office anyway regardless of the day, so what does it even matter? Neville thought to himself, taking a sip from his coffee mug as he went to work deleting some of the messages.

“What a sight to behold.” Neville looked up from the screen and found that Wade had entered the room. “You’re still sitting here working and drinking from that ‘World’s Okayest Dad’ mug. Don’t you think you should give yourself a break?”

“I already took my break earlier,” Neville replied just as he heard another chime ring out from his laptop -- the meeting would officially be on Monday, despite numerous complaints. Incoming shitstorm.

“Take another one. What’s stopping you? It’s not like anyone can tell that you’re not working.”

“They’ll tell when I’m not responding to any of their emails.”

“So if you don’t respond immediately after they send it to you then they’ll know that you’re slacking off? Sounds rough. Glad I’m not working there.”

“You’re not working, period .”

“Exactly, and who would want to with those regulations?” Wade went to the fridge and dug around inside until he came back with a bottle of water, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip. “Hey, where are the girls? I haven’t seen them all afternoon.”

“Outside in the yard.” Neville nodded his head in the direction of the back door. “I’m surprised they’ve been playing for so long without getting into a fight.” Right as Neville finished saying that, he heard a thud and the unmistakable sound of Daisy yelling “Ow!” “Ah, I see I spoke too soon.”

A few moments later, both girls stumbled into the kitchen through the back door. “Daddy, Daisy threw the ball over the fence again,” Jen complained, elbowing her sister in the side.

“Ow-- It wasn’t my fault! She was the one who threw it.”

“You said you were ready for me to throw it!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did! Daddy, didn’t you hear her say she was ready? She’s lying again--”

“Alright, alright, that’s enough,” Neville interrupted her before she could say anything more, and he pushed back his chair. “You two head back outside and wait in the yard. I’ll go get the ball for you.”

Jen and Daisy looked at each other before they both walked back outside, the two of them getting into a brief scuffle in the doorway since they couldn’t decide which of the two of them got to go through first (Jen ultimately won by reminding Daisy of who the older sibling was). Neville pinched the bridge of his nose once they were gone, letting out a sigh. “What am I going to do with them…”

“Well, you can start by getting their ball,” Wade said.

Neville made a little frustrated noise and stood up, though it was as he was about to leave that he noticed the cocky smirk on Wade’s face. “What’s up with you?”

“Nev, how did you get the ball the last time they threw it over the fence?” he asked, leaning back against the counter.

“Uh… I went into the yard and got it?”

“You realize you can’t do that anymore, right? Since there’s now someone living there. That’s trespassing.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is that you’re going to have to get the new neighbor’s permission to go back there and get it. You two are finally going to meet.”

“Oh God, are you still on this?” Neville huffed. “I told you that I’m not interested in being in a relationship right now. Let it go .”

“I never said you had to date him. Just that you’re gonna be meeting for the first time.”

“Maybe so, but I know you’re thinking it.” He waggled his finger at him. “And let me tell you this: I’m going to go next door, ask for the ball back, and then come right back here. No bullshit, no stopping inside for coffee or whatever, no nothing . You got that?”

“Whatever you say, mate.” Wade still didn’t look entirely convinced, but he didn’t press the issue any further and left the kitchen, leaving Neville all by himself.

What a pain in the ass… Neville shook his head as he watched Wade retreat downstairs. He waited until he was gone before exiting into the hallway and walking towards the front door.

The moment that the early-August heat hit his face, Neville immediately regretting going outside. God, how have those kids been playing out here for all this time? He despised the thought of meeting his new neighbor while drenched in sweat, so he decided to stop wasting time and briskly started the trek over to the house next door.

“It won’t take him much longer, calm down!” Neville could hear the faint sound of Jen reprimanding her sister from his own yard.

“We’ve been waiting foreverrrrr…” Naturally, the next voice he heard was that of Daisy.

Five minutes. It’s been five minutes since they asked. At most.

Neville looked up at the house that was now in front of him, and he marched up to the door with authority, determined not to let Wade’s nonsense get in the way of what he came here to do. He didn’t come here to flirt or do anything of that nature -- he was not going to let the wannabe matchmaker that lived in his basement cloud his judgement.

He rang the doorbell and took a step back, crossing his arms and waiting for some sort of response. He could still hear the sounds of Daisy and Jen bickering from the yard. He debated taking out his phone and asking Wade to keep an eye on them, but it was right as he reached for his pocket that the door opened.

“Hi, I’m—” Neville stopped himself once he got a good look at the man now standing in the doorway, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“Um… How can I help you?” The man asked, brown eyes narrowed in confusion, like he couldn’t figure out why this stranger was gaping at him on his doorstep. It was those same eyes that Neville found himself suddenly lost in, momentarily forgetting just why the hell he was there in the first place. That’s a good question -- how can you help me?

Neville cleared his throat, shaking his head and snapping himself out of his trance. “Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you, but my kids accidentally threw their ball over your fence. I was wondering if we could get it back.”

“Oh, that’s what that was?” He smiled. “I heard yelling coming from next door and was wondering what had happened.”

“Ah, well, you know how little girls can be sometimes…”

“Trust me, I do. I work with them. I can toss the ball back over for ‘em.”

“Thank you.” Neville returned his smile. “Again, sorry to trouble you. I know you’re still busy unpacking.” Neville could see the moving boxes that were sitting in the hallway. “Don’t mean to interrupt.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not a problem at all. Hey, what’s your name, by the way? I’m Mustafa.”

“Mustafa…” Neville repeated. It was a nice name. “I’m Adrian.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Adrian.” There was that infectious smile again. Neville found himself quite liking how his name sounded coming from his mouth -- and he normally hated his first name. “You’re the first person around here that I’ve actually spoken to, you know that?”

“That doesn’t shock me.” He frowned. “The people around here aren’t exactly the nicest. They don’t really do things like greeting new neighbors.”

“That’s a shame… But at least I have one nice neighbor in you . That makes up for it.” Mustafa shot him a wink. “I should probably go get the ball now -- I’ll catch you later, okay?”

“Okay! I’ll, uh… see you around.”

With that, Mustafa shut the door, and Neville let out a breath that he didn’t even realize that he was holding. Finally, it was over . He had done what needed to be done, and now he could go back home and rub it in Wade’s face.

I didn’t linger at all. Neville thought with a sense of triumph as he went down to the sidewalk. Wade was so sure that I was going to fall head over heels for him within thirty seconds of knowing him. Not even close.

…Still, Neville thought it was a bit strange how he had acted when Mustafa first opened the door. Everything about their conversation was normal with the exception of the beginning. Neville had been completely entranced by him, especially those eyes … What was that all about?

Neville’s moment of contemplation didn’t last very long, as he was interrupted by the gleeful sounds of his daughters, whose ball had just been returned to them. He was overthinking things, as usual. He only felt this way because Wade planted the seeds in his mind.

This was nothing to dwell on.

[tauforged]

the DGM just called me up to try and negotiate what she’s gotta do to make me stay and i just told her straight up, like, i have no desire to continue working for the company. i’ve been here for five years and have absolutely nothing to show for it. i’ve been working full time hours for the past two but was denied a promotion to an actual full time position with full time pay because i ‘can’t be full time unless i’m management’ (bullshit btw). i haven’t been able to get a consistent schedule that allows time for me to take classes to further my fucking education. i’m being given absolutely no reason to stay. i’ve been told off time and time again for “treating the animals like pets, when they’re not pets, they’re merchandise” (SOMETHING THE DGM SAID VERBATIM TO OUR ENTIRE ANIMAL TEAM) and she tried to spin it and say that because she didn’t say that directly to me, whoever told me she said that must have been lying. i told her i’m not tolerating the drama, i’m not doing this merry-go-round of he-said-she-said, i have enough going on in my life without having to deal with all the grown adults in management acting like middle schoolers instead of taking responsibility. even if there WERENT animals on the line, it’s just not a constructive work environment, and im not interested in continuing to waste time and energy trying to make a change that’s clearly never gonna happen. if she truly means what she says about making a stink about fixing the animal care standards, great! i think that’s a wonderful thing to do, and it should be done regardless of if i work there. but im not rolling over and taking any more “oh we’ll work on it”s while nothing gets done. i’ve moved on with my life, i’ve got something else lined up, im going back to school to get a real job, and i genuinely wish you all the best but whatever happens, it won’t be involving me. that i didn’t want to end this job on a sour note, i really didn’t, i was hoping to bow out quietly and go on good terms, but it’s obvious that i have to put my foot down or i’ll get walked all over.

and then she laughed at me, told me “good luck out there with that attitude” and hung up. real fuckin professional, julia. god i hope she knows all these calls are recorded by HR and monitored, and i hope it comes back to bite her hard. cant wait for this company to collapse and die tbh

TODAY’S THE DAY! my last day ever working for this shithole of a company!!!! goodbye and good FUCKING riddance !!!!!!!