Tumgik
#and im way behind with uploading stuff to my main tumblr
andr0nap-wf · 8 months
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hewwo :3
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ayzrules · 4 years
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✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D
  Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////
  This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here. 
✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇   I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.
  So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.
  Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle). 
  And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao
✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘   As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo
  And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.
  Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.
  But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?
  Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.
  Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well
✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒)   Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???
  So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).
  Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.
  On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.
  But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.
✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍   AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.
  I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!
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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 4 years
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Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 Fall Saito Story
managed to recover my first post of the year which seemed to have disappeared from tumblr via exporting it…
hope everyone had a safe and happy new year… recently hit 500 followers over the holidays so I’d like to say thanks for appreciating the stuff I’ve uploaded and my translations (I kinda feel the need to say this but: I am an adult who occasionally uses crude language so please be aware of that. Also, i don’t run an image-focused blog. i only wanted to post everything that I thought wasn’t available as clean images online so that people would be able to find and access more Hakuoki content… and i do believe i have done that for the most part).
Threw together a list of things that I hope translate this year into in one of my other posts today… here’s hoping that it will be less volatile than 2020… tho im not expecting much given the news yesterday though i can’t say that i didn’t expect it.
Anyway. translation. Story from the 3rd Yuugiroku game.
The CN of the title I have for this translates to the effect of “The fate/return/destination of (a) migratory bird(s),” which I think looks weird and I’m not sure how accurate that tl is, so I’m just going to categorize these stories by season and char lol. not that it’ll be any time soon before I go and translate another one of these since this did feel quite long…. and it’s not like anyone else is translating these (please someone translate these xD there are 2 side stories per route and i am not looking forward to torturing myself with them!).
also, a significant portion of the punctuation and stuff wasn’t used in the tl i found for this, so that will be reflected in this… will fix it later.
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Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 - Fall Saito Story
Translation by KumoriYami
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That day I was delivering Hijikata-san’s message and came to Saito-san’s room.
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Yukimura Chizuru: Saito-san, are you there?
[I] Called him from outside his door but he didn’t seem to hear me.
Did he go out?
But the other warriors clearly stated that he was in the room.
Using a slightly louder voice, I called again.
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Yukimura Chizuru: Ah, Saito-san are you there?
Saito: Yukimura, is there something [you need]?
Yukimura Chizuru: Hijikata-san said that he had something to say to Saito-san so I was asked to get you.
Saito: Vice-commander? I see.
I got it/I understand I will go at once, you’ve worked hard, Yukimura. [I’ll check the game for punctuation later….probably?]
Yukimura: It’s rare, for Saito-san didn’t hear me calling you.
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Saito: I was concentrating, [and] I didn’t hear your voice.
Yukimura: Concentrating? Was it on sword maintenance?
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Saito: nn, more or less.
Yukimura: ......?
It was rare for Saito-san to answer questions in such vague terms.
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Saito: Isn’t (the) vice-commander calling me? I’ll hurry up.
Saito: You can go back.
Yukimura: I understand, then I’ll be going now.
I gently lowered my head and prepared to leave Saito-san’s side.
Yukimura:......
His unusual mood made me feel a little worried.
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Afterwards at dinner, there was a strange/unusual incident.
Saito-san who finished eating earlier than everyone else set down his chopsticks.
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Heisuke: What’s wrong are you already full Hajime-kun?/Hajime-kun you’re already full?
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Saito ……Nn.
Yukimura: There’s more of Saito-san’s favourite tofu.
Saito: I’ve had enough for now, I’ll be leaving first.
Leaving behind those words, Saito-san bought his plate into the kitchen.
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Nagakura: What’s wrong with Saito? It’s simply unfathomable for him to only eat a small portion of tofu.
Harada: It doesn’t look like he’s feeling unwell, so maybe he secretly ate earlier?
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Yukimura: What, Saito-san isn’t a person who would do something like that.
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Toudou: Hajime-kun’s been acting weird lately. In the morning today, he went back to his room right after practice.
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Nagakura: did he have a headache? Sano, did you ask him?
Harada: If he doesn’t want to say anything, then I can’t ask.
Nagakura: If this continues, perhaps something permanent might happen [gave up rewording for now lol].
Yukimura:......
What was wrong with Saito-san?
Was something bothering him?
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A few days later.
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For the sake of mending the warriors’ uniforms, I went to the common room [tl is large main hall].
Chizuru: Ah, you’re here, Saito-san.
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Saito: ! Yukimura——
Saito-san hid what he was holding behind him in a panic.
What was it?
It looked like a book.
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Saito:……Will you be mending clothes here?
Yukimura: Yes, will this bother you?
Saito: No, it’s no bother.
Yukimura: Then I’ll be mending/sewing here.
I took out my needlework box and began mending the clothes.
Saito-san seemed to be hesitating about if he should stay or leave/ leaving or staying.
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Yukimura: Um.
Saito: What?
Saito: Was Saito-san reading something just now?
Saito: Ah, um, nn, more or less.
Yukimura: Don’t mind me and continue reading.
Saito: But.
Yukimura: Am I bothering you?
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Saito: No, but……
Saito-san looked very confused, after…
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Saito: Yukimura.
Yukimura: What is it?
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Saito: I hope you don’t tell anyone else that I was reading this book.
Yukimura: Don’t tell the others?
What was going on?
To actually not want any of the other warriors to know about this book.
Could it be that this book was on something, like assassination techniques, that shouldn’t be passed onto others?
I felt a bit uneasy.
Yukimura: I understand. I will never tell anyone else.
Saito: I believe you.
With a sharp glance at me, Saito-san began to read again.
The cover of the book looked badly worn.
Yukimura: Is that a manual on kenjutsu?
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Saito: Yes, I happened to find it a few days ago, and took it to read. As a result, I’ve started reading this without stopping. If I have time, I’ll read. [reword later]
Yukimura: So it was like that.
That’s why Saito-san has been behaving strangely lately.
Yukimura: But why don’t you want to let the other warriors know?
There was no need to hide a swordsmanship manual.
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Saito: That, because. The author of this book and I are not from the same school. Reading manuals from other styles is considered unethical.
Yukimura: I see.
I couldn’t help but laugh at such serious reasoning.
But, that truly was Saito-san’s style.
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I started sewing again as Saito-san to read again.
We focused on our own things, and while we were in the same room, it however was natural for there to be no dialogue.
Retreating to the tranquility of the autumn night with only the sound of cicadas, [reword later] and the occasional sound of Saito-san turning a page.
Suddenly I was very interested in that sound and was looking in/looked in Saito-san’s direction.
Focused on reading, his entire posture was completely serious.
My heart felt happy just by looking at him, and I unconsciously smiled.
As a result, he noticed my staring, and while his gaze didn’t leave the book, he asked me a question.
Saito: What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?
Yukimura: No, Saito-san’s expression is very earnest/serious.
As a result, Saito-san tilted his head slightly, murmuring quietly.
Saito: So there’s nothing strange. I don’t understand what you’re thinking.
Yukimura: If I’ve upset you, I’m sorry.
Saito: I’m not upset.
Saito-san lightly sighed, adjusting the way he sat slightly.
Yukimura: Saito-san really loves kenjutsu.
Saito: I don’t have any other skills, but I do have some knowledge about kenjutsu/experience.
Yukimura: Ah, a talent/Oh my.
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The conversation ended like this, and Saito-san once again began focusing on the manual.
From time to time, there was the sound of pages being turned.
The silence was soothing. I continued sewing the clothes.
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A few days later.
I finished washing the clothes, and was about to head back into my room.
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Nomura: Spare me, Saito-san. There’s no way we can defeat Saito-san./How could we beat Saito-san!
I saw Saito-san, Souma-kun and Nomura-kun practising with the blunt side of their swords [check jp mtl].
It looked like he was trying to put what he had read in that book a few days ago into practice.
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Saito: A little bit more, just a bit more and I’ll have grasped it. One more time.
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Souma: But we’re going on patrol next. Regardless of what is said, we can’t neglect our duties as members.
Saito: I’ll finish this as as [you?] obtain a point. There won’t be any problem.
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Nomura: To quickly get a single point, what the hell is that! This is terrible.
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Souma: But it’s pointless to continue like this…
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As of the three of them talked, Nomura noticed me an started speaking with me.
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Nomura: Ah, Yukimura-senpai, you’re just in time.
Yukimura: Ah, just in time for what?
Nomura: Why don’t you ask Yukimura-senpai to practise with you, Saito-san?
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Saito: Ask Yukimura?
Yukimura: This, that’s not something I can do, there’s no way I can fight Saito-san.
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Nomura: That doesn’t matter, we’re about the same [skill] level.
Yukimura: But…
Nomura: We have to go on patrol later, so please help us.
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Souma: Nomura, don’t force Yukimura-senpai like this. Yukimura-senpai is also very busy.
Yukimura: ......
Fighting against Saito-san will be incredibly difficult.
Yukimura: Saito-san, am I okay [acceptable?]?
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Saito: Is that okay? Have you been instructed to do anything?
Yukimura: I’ve already finished with those things. However I don’t know if I’ll be of any use.
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Saito: That is more than enough, thank you, Yukimura.
Yukimura: Not at all.
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Nomura: The we’ll be going to work, so we’ll leave this to you, Yukimura-senpai!
Souma: Is this really okay, Senpai?
Yukimura: There aren’t a lot of opportunities to learn/This is a good opportunity to learn.
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Souma: Then, we’ll be leaving/take our leave.
Yukimura: Okay. See you.
The two of them went directly back into headquarters to prepare for patrol.
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Saito: Then, let us begin, Yukimura. Are you ready?
I took a stance a distance away from Saito-san, and held up my kodachi.
Yukimura: Please advise me. [well not sure what the JP equivalent of this is….]
Following the silence, my entire body was filled with a sense of tension [reword later].
After.
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At the sound of my foot stepping forward, in a split second, Saito-san was facing me.
Chizuru: !
I hurriedly prepared myself, but he was faster than I was.
Yukimura: Ah!
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My kodachi flew in an arc and landed on the ground.
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Saito: Ippon.
Yukimura:……
Saito-san’s killing intent left me speechless.
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Saito: As expected, knowledge acquired from reading needs to be tested in real combat.
As Saito-san spoke, he picked up my kodachi, which had fallen onto the ground, and handed it back to me.
I received it with trembling hands.
Yukimura: Thank you very much.
Saito-san became stronger again.
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Saito: The fact remains that you have also improved, Yukimura.
Yukimura: Is that so……
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Saito: Let’s return now. It’s about time to prepare dinner.
Yukimura: Yes!
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Afterwards, Saito-san and I helped prepare dinner together.
—-end—
next week’s post is Saito’s 7th Ginsei no Shou chapter!
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tae-kun · 6 years
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If the Main Reason why you log onto Tumblr is for Porn, then you don’t understand what made Tumblr special in the first place
Tumblr is not a Porn Site
It was never intended to be, so for the people that are saying stuff like “Tumblr never supported our sex work anyway” you’re 100% correct. Being allowed to post Pornography isn’t the same as being a source for it. Over the years Tumblr has been ran rampant with porn to the point that content creators that did other stuff that didn’t relate to porn slowly started to go to other platforms; Since their work was being overshadowed by the sheer volume of porn and they struggled to get any attention on their work.
You people are acting like Tumblr is attacking sex workers as if this was their main and only place to earn money for their work.
There are porn sites that are made to promote AND support sex workers. Hell PornHub will pay people for their sextapes and has multiple systems in place for them to make money off Ad revenue alongside having a tip system, content protection and other stuff
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Anyone that was serious about their sex work would have been using sites like this instead of relying on Tumblr as a main source of revenue or promotion.
Tumblr is a trash place to try to promote anything! Constant spamming of bots and tags, No reliable Notification system or way for your followers to see you’re new posts out of the sea of reblogs. So to act like these new changes are going to serious kill anyone that is in the sex work is flat out outrageous.
Hell a majority of the popular porn that was on here wasn’t even from amateurs��making videos on here. People were taking porn from porn sites and making blogs centered around it and would constantly flood their blogs with this content which would then, overshadow any amateur worker on here that made their own work; since they had no to even compete with the constant bombardment of daily new stuff that these blogs were taking and using.
People would steal other peoples videos and get popular of it without even crediting the original creator and would even go as far as to SELL these videos and make more money of it than the actual people in the damn video.
So Tumblr was never an ideal place for sex work to begin with, so throw that excuse out. Most people only used Tumblr to promote their private snapchat or onlyfans account which you can still do in a regular selfie or post. There are thousands of people on Instagram making hundreds and thousands of dollars doing the same thing and they don’t have one titty out on their page. Just tight clothing and skimpy outfits.
If you’re really upset that you can’t watch porn on here after Dec 17
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At first it was funny seeing people joke about the porn being gone. But some of y’all are really upset and mad that you need to actually go to a porn sites to watch porn???
Some of y’all don’t even post nudes or create anything that could be considered sexual and y’all saying “ima delete my blog since tumblr is trying to silence me”
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(Side Note: Just because your post got flagged doesn’t mean it will be deleted. They already said stuff like this would happen as they added in this new system. So mistakes like these are bound to happen and will most likely be fixed in a week or so and have no negative affect on your blog. Y’all really acting like Tumblr is out to silence your love for cats and landscapes 🙄)
Like i said before there are plenty of sites to watch porn on and if your favorite sex worker is serious about their job then you will see them on there. Which only makes things easier for both of you. But lets be honest, most of y’all just like the idea of seeing porn without having to actually look for it, like it’s some nasty secret. On Tumblr you couldn’t escape porn even if you searched things that were unrelated to it. Tumblr gave you guys the perfect cover up for it and you guys went overboard with it and here we are. People are so quick to compare this issue to other Tumblr problems but there was never a issue as big as people with dick profile pics dming you no matter who you were (kids or adults)  and sending you nude pics; then Porn Bots popped up under everyone’s post no matter if you had the safety lock on or not.
You guys made hundreds of post saying how much you hate porn blogs getting tens of thousands of notes in agreement about it, You guys would put “no porn blogs allowed” in your description box or something similar in meaning.
And now when Tumblr puts a system in place to directly remove it, you guys try to back pedal and claim that it will kill sex workers, freedom of speech and sexuality based off opinions, assumptions and things that aren’t even in the policy change.
Some of y’all honestly suggested “Just add a age verification system” as a way to fix the porn issue.... That shit ain’t never worked since 2002! I got so use to lying on those things that i sometimes forget that i’m grown and that i don’t need to put “01/11/1975″
The only people that this severely hurts are
1a) People that steal porn from other sites to use on their blog to get followers, to then try sell promo slots
1b) People that are stealing other sex workers content and illegally selling them
2) Child Porn Blogs
THAT’S IT
And Honestly is that really a bad thing? Getting rid of people that were stealing other peoples stuff and making money off it and pedophiles.
The way tumblr was set up allowed blogs like these to thrive without any risk, outside of getting their blog deleted (just to make a new one) and it only continued the flood of porn which became the breeding grounds for Porn Bots
Tumblr is suppose to be a place to freely express all forms of art, ideas, and conversations. But because of the nonstop flood of porn, most people only know it for Porn and Emo kids. Which brings me back to my original statement
This isn’t a Porn Site
Porn became so over flooded on here that you didn’t even need to search to find it. All you had todo is take off the safe lock and search anything, even a city. There would be hundreds of porn pics and videos in every slot. And before you say “well just keep the safety lock on”
Any content that had cursing, fighting or even slight nudity got put behind there. So unless you were just on here for kpop, aesthetics and Steven Universe you weren’t really seeing anything different with that lock on.
( Another Side Note: For you people trying to compare the porn flood to white supremacy blogs need to stop it. All the time i’ve been on here i have never NEEEVVVEEER accidentally came across any pro white supremacy post or blog unless it was someone exposing them and their stupidity which would then cause them to delete their blog. If you are constantly seeing anything Pro Nazi, Pro White Supremacy, Pro homophobia or anything similar that supports bigotry; then you are actively searching for it and follow these people. These blogs don’t even make up 5% of the content seen on here with or without the lock. So trying to say that Tumblr supports these blogs since they’re still around is Mr. Fantastic level of reaching. These blogs have never been a serious issue to the point that Nazi Bots were created saying “Hate jews and blacks clck here for more ;)”. So stop this weak comparison.)
I created a Tumblr and made it one of my main platforms to create content on because of the communities and people i found on here.
I found Great stories and Dope artist on here. I found people being able to fully express themselves and find an audience for them that helped share their work through a simple reblog. But if you’ve been noticing or have been on here long enough, most content creators don’t use Tumblr as their main platform to create or promote their content anymore. And why would they?
People barely activate their notifications for blog updates, It’s hella hard to find an audience through the constant reblogging of already popular stuff From Vine and Twitter, people rarely go outside of tumblr to support peoples stores or websites. Hell most artist on here that become popular on here that get continued support are the ones that have made or continue to make some kind of pornography of real or fictional characters. It’s hella rare to find any artist that hasn’t made any porn, that is equally popular or supported like the ones that have; which just goes back to people thinking Tumblr is for porn.
Tumblr isn’t even against the idea of expressing yourself or art through nudity as their post and policy change explicitly explained. And people’s content that’s getting flagged that doesn’t go against that policy is a problem THAT THEY SAID WOULD HAPPEN as they get everything in order with their new system
All of these long post that people are writing about it that and they themselves forgot to do some basic reading on the topic. 
Tumblr Staff- “Certain types of artistic, educational, newsworthy, or political content featuring nudity are fine. Don’t upload any content, including images, videos, GIFs, or illustrations, that depicts sex acts.
This isn’t an attack on people’s ability to speak out or embrace themselves. They are directly trying to remove Porn which they won’t be able to fully do, even Instagram and Twitter can’t do that; no public site with millions of people can. But they’re at least trying to get rid of the constant overflow of it. 
It’s so sad to see hundreds and thousands of you saying “i only used Tumblr for porn” because that just shows how derailed this site has become and why Tumblr had to make these extreme decisions especially after being removed from app stores because of the child pornography.
If you’re going to leave because you can’t make porn on here: I can see why you would do that but there is no reason to. You can still use your blog to promote your stuff and make teases of your work that can be found or bought else where. Tumblr was never a reliable place for sex work and i highly recommend using Sites that will actually protect your work and put some money in your pockets while doing it
If you’re leaving because you can’t watch porn on here: You probably weren’t supporting anyone really and only made the influx of porn worse, making it harder for other content users to be seen. If you were supporting actual sex workers on here then continue to do so, I’m sure anyone serious would have more than just tumblr as their main platform.
For those that got popular and made money off other people sex work: So long and farewell
For the Child Porn Blogs: Hope you get mental help or burn. Either or is fine with me
For the people that may get upset by this: Correct me, Prove me wrong, Let’s have a whole serious discussion about this and hear each others side with no fighting or disrespect :D 
For all of Us: Lets actually support and help the people that really make Tumblr the gem that it is. Lets make this platform be known for creative people and unique ideas; and communities that actually comfort and understand us. Let’s actually make this platform something that’s known for more than just Porn and Emo Kids.
Regardless i hope that everyone can calm down and act like there’s more here than just porn..
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b00bconnoisseur · 6 years
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Reaallly long art rant
Lately, the past 4 months or so, ive felt v drained inspirationaly. This is the longest ive ever had art block. So, whenever i finish a drawing i have this satisfaction, this high, it makes me feel so good. That when i felt like i wouldn't finish it, that i didnt have the energy to, i did. I also feel like tumblr is a big part of my block. Dw im not leaving of course lol, im just ranting. But yeah, ive been on here SO much and i hate that i am but i AM. Its like an addiction. Plus all my friendos are on here so i dont just wanna take a leave.
Another big part of my block is sorta myself? My personality ig u could say. And what i mean by that is i can never say no to anyone. It makes me feel terrible. The thing i can never say no to is art requests. I get them so much from my extended family. And thats another part of the block, family.
Theyre always askin me to draw stuff when im like "er not rn....im uh on this *points down at paper* rn. Maybe next time..?" Thays my attempts at saying no. But noooo of course my cousins are like "no no no just draw me rn ok u can do that drawing some other time ive been begging u to draw me forever!" BOTH of my cousins are always bugging me nonstop to draw them. I hate it just leave me the fuck alone i just finally got to another drawing and u won't even let me finish it go fuck off. But i of course dont say that. I start immediately on one cousins sketch while he watches me (tjis was on ny's) Now im doing the other ones sketch rn. Only because his birthday is today and this is his gift. Also because when we go to see them today, and i dont have it done he'll make me feel horrible. And since i dont have my other cousins sketch done he'll do the same. (I dont have the ref photo so i cant finish it. My bro has it and refuses to send it to me.) Another thing is they cant respect how i do my art and my art style. They want all the art i draw in realistic color whereas i only do traditional b&w shadding. And my other extended family is always trying to get me to draw them live. Like, they pose and i draw them. I CAN'T do that. It takes me HOURS to draw. Plus ik they'll be like hurry up! And get tired after 2 mins. Plus idk, thats awkward for me. Id rather just have a pic. Boom. Simple. But THEY wont understand that.
Theres alot more that theyve done but I'll stop there.
And sometimes im in a way putting this block on myself? I hold these free giveaway stuff then i ask ppl if they'd like a request or i accept requests or an art trade or i say im gonna draw this for somepne for this holiday or smtn. I do it for fun and it makes ppl happy. And idm doing it. But it builds up. More. And more. And more. To the point where im feeling v v v overwhelmed with stuff im supposed to draw for ppl. And i get v behind on everything. And i cant even enjoy when i finally finish a drawing. Im like welp, im v late on all these, onto the next. Its not a good feeling. And sometimes whenever im like "i do so many drawings for OTHER ppl, i need to do one for MYSELF like i used to" so i try. But then i have no idea what to draw. And then all i can think of is what im supposed to be drawing for other ppl. Then it makes me feel like im being selfish by trying to draw for myself. To try to distract myself i go on tumblr. But then im just procrastinating. And i usually just end up not drawing anything. But when i do its just requests or stuff for other ppl. And i feel i dont upload art much anymore on tumblr so i feel the need to get something out there. And when i do it doesnt get too much notice. So i feel more deflated. Just a repeating cycle. Over. And over and over.
And since its for other ppl i feel i gotta make it perfect.
I just wish i drew as much as i used to without a care. I wish i COULD do that. But im in a huge mess and the only way to get out of it is to finish all the drawings. Then start fresh. It feels I'll never get to that tho.
Alot of the time i just think about giving up on art. Alot. Cause its not so enjoyable anymore as it used to.
I wont tho cause it IS what makes me the most happy in the world. Im mesmerized by it. Its what i want to do when im older. I dont wanna throw all that away. Without it id be basically nothing
For now, I'll sort thru (try to anyway) the mess i got myself into and try to kill the damn block. And try to draw for myself sometimes too.
Thanks for coming to my ted.....rant? Talk? Idek anymore.
But hey, if u read all that, props to u bro.
Sorry for getting all art depressy on main..
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modesty-blaise · 6 years
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Since I'm curious, what caused you to become very possessive of your gifs? Not out of rudeness but curious, since no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr which automatically credits you at the bottom of the gif.
Hey. Tbh, at first I didn’t wanna bother with yet another anon but since I see no ill intent behind this, I decided to go and answer it. Unfortunately, half-way through I realised my reply is turning into incredibly long semi-bitter rant and expands well beyond calling out just one person in Psychonauts fandom (and yes, this is related to Psychonauts fandom – you do know that these anons are not really that anonymous, right?) so… buckle up! All that beneath “read more”.
I’ve been on this hellsite for like…7-8 years? Maybe more? Can’t really tell cause I moved blogs and my old blog now consists of only 4 posts I’ve made close to leaving so I honestly have no idea how much time I’ve spend here before moving. Anyway, during those few years I’ve spent on my first blog I’ve met a lot of creative gifmakers who enjoyed sharing their love for fandoms they were in. I’d like to point out that this was waaaaay before tumblr created that insert-gif option so, back in the day, the only way to add gifs to your post was to: 1. make them yourself 2. take them from someone else. And a lot of people were taking them from someone else which resulted in many gifmakers giving up on making gifs and leaving fandoms and/or even leaving tumblr – and I’ve had many of my friends give up on what they love and have their games/shows/movies/whatnot ruined for them cause people would not stop stealing from them. And many of my friends eventually left tumblr cause they couldn’t deal with it anymore.
Tumblr adding insert-gif option, in my opinion, honestly, just made it worse for gifmakers. Cause now people had the opportunity to use gifs for their posts, with or without creators’ permission/knowledge, but it was alright and it was perfectly fine cause creators were credited. There’s their name at the bottom. It’s alright. Like… it doesn’t matter if they’re actually okay with people using something they’ve put hours into making or if they’re not – tumblr gives them credit so they SHOULD be okay with it. Simple as that.
Well, we’re all different and some people are not okay with that. I’m not okay with that. It took me weeks to figure out how to use photoshop correctly. Took me countless hours of looking through different tutorials and basically trial-and-error-ing my way through the process. Whenever I make gifs, it takes me hours to record videos and then hours trying to achieve that 3mb limit on gifs (thank lord these days we’re beyond 1mb limit). After all that effort I put into creating gifs for games that I love and enjoy, someone is going to make 2 clicks and have that same gif added to their post, without even asking. So how is that okay?
Back to your question. Yes, “no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr”, that is true and that is something I was aware of when I saw you-know-who announcing they would be starting 30 days Psychonauts challenge. So, hating to see my gifs used against my will, and not wanting to start any unnecessary drama and threaten people in advance with reporting them if they do use them, I’ve made my blog as private as I could. It was only accessible through the dashboard, it was not showing in ANY search engines inside and outside tumblr, and my gifs were impossible to find through insert-gif function – I’ve made sure. I did all that cause I just knew that during those 30 days, someone would use my gifs and I would get mad and I desperately wanted to avoid that (hence going extreme). And you know what happened? You know what creator of this challenge (who prevously already reposted my gifs) did? *drums* They used my shit anyway. :3 They just uploaded it from their computer, where they’ve saved it earlier.
And like… a lot of people see pretty pic and decide to save it - I mean, we all do that. Heck, even I have a folder full of shit I saw online and liked it – but i’m not uploading it online cause I haven’t made it. It’s not mine to share.
But some people are not like that.
Some people see fanart of something they like and they want to share their opinion on it – and instead of making their own post, maybe drawing the fanart themselves, they decide to use someone else’s art for their post. Do they know who made it? Do they have creator’s permission to share it? If the answer is NO, then they should be a decent human being and not do that to creators. Oh, they shared it anyway but now people in fandom are calling them out BUT this actually happened on accident? They know who the creator is but, somehow, they accidentally forgot to credit them? OK, well, it’s possible, shit happens, but they better make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Then sometime later these same people decide they want to make a post appreciating their fav character and they want to include pics cause duh, you can’t have character appreciation post without pics, right? Now they have several options: they can get their own screenshots, make their own gifs, maybe draw something… or they can just take someone else’s creation. Do they know who made it? Well there’s my fuckin name on it, and since they’ve stretched it from 245 to 500px, it’s really hard to miss, plus it’s not like there are that many people making Psychonauts gifs. Do they have permission to share it? Hmmm, nope, didn’t ask me. Is this also an accident? Could be. I mean, I’ve seen stranger things happen, so accidentally forgetting to credit content creators twice… kinda suspicious but still possible. Who am I to say?
Now if these people then decide to make a post appreciating their fav ship and they want to add a cute pic of the loving couple – yup, you guessed it! They can either create something or take something. Again: they know who did? They asked for permission? Got the permission? No?!?! But they posted it anyway?!?! :o Could it really be, that after being called out publicly, after being told that reposting is bad (something that’s very easy to understand), after even having tumblr staff intervene and remove stolen shit from their blog, after all that - could it really still be an accident?
Nah, man.
They just don’t give a shit.
Cause if they did, they’d stop with that crap first time they were called out.
(and if you think Psychonauts fandom is their only fandom and that they’re not doing this crap in other fandoms too - hoooo, boy, do I have some bad news for you! Do you know how many stolen and butchered HP fanart is on their blog? Hobbit stuff? They seem to be one of the most accident-prone users on tumblr. And honestly - it’s a real miracle their blog’s not been terminated.)
Back to what I was talking about - I’m not okay with people using my gifs and I’ve made it very clear. I literally do not give a shit if I’m credited or not, I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want my gifs used without my permission. If you like them and want them on your blog, there’s a fuckin reblog button. It’s sole purpose is to allow you to share other people’s creations. Or shitposts, cause lord knows we all love those.
So that’s why when someone spends hours going through my Psychonauts tag and goes as far as to send me “I love your gifs” anonymous message, but the very next day makes stim moodboard post including one of my gifs, now cut and resized to fit 3x3 format they’re going with, I get mad. And that’s why when someone uses one of my gifs to promote their RP blog, butchering it to fit their aesthetics, and later when confronted going as far as blaming their good friend on it cause god! they’ve had no idea it wasn’t theirs, I get mad. (makes you wonder though: if they friend has such skills, why not making them gifs themselves?)
Like…. I’ve had my gifs stolen plenty of times. I’ve had them stolen for roleplaying, for headers, for imagines, just for notes… I’ve had them stolen by people claiming to run official fan sites (that’s a real wild story but I won’t get into that now)… I’ve seen them on pinterest, weheartit, FB, all those random gif sites… and I’ve seen EVERY. POSSIBLE. EXCUSE. ranging from: “well i found it on google so why should i credit you” “lol dunno who made this but its pretty so im posting it” “ive had it on my computer for years so i don’t remember where i got it from” “i dont know how to make gifs so im using weheartit as a source” “credit to whoever made this” (that’s my fav) to “its just a gif so who gives a shit” (it’s not – it’s hours of creator’s time and lots of love that you’re now shitting on so thanks) and “i have an /illness/ and getting notes makes me feel better so dont u dare blame me for stealing” (I don’t remember exact excuse but it was something along those lines and like… how do you even respond to something that without looking like an asshole?).
And sometimes it really is just an accident. Sometimes people really do forget to credit you and/or ask you for permission. And I’ve had my fair share of those accidents. People in Psychonauts fandom have been using my gifs for various crap but, when approached, they’ve removed it and apologised. And it’s something I really appreciate. (if they actually bother reading this and they recognise themselves: i’m really grateful and thank you for not being an ass)
But you know what I don’t appreciate? People making a call out posts about me, asking about my gifs when they know very well they’re the main reasons why I’m not making those gifs anymore, at the same time failing to address any of the issues I have with them and instead rather explaining to others what happened BUT explaining only the parts that make me look like a villain cause how I even dare be mad about them stealing? How I even dare call them out on it? That is so ridiculous and criminal of me, and it’s so so sooooo bad that they need to call me out. I deserve to be called out by the very same person who’s been stealing my shit.
And their explanation is…well… it’s something.
They were sympathetic and polite? When did this happen? Did I completely missed that part? Please someone fuckin enlighten me with such post/message where they expressed their sympathy and politeness and I’ll apologise right this second.
I told them to “literally fuck off”? Yeah, that did happen, I admit that. Did they bother explaining why I told them to fuck off in the first place? Did they say they were caught stealing from me and had tumblr stuff remove my shit from their blog? Did they get into details of how they demanded the proof of my so very wild and obviously false claims but then when I showed it, they just deleted that “how dare u call me out cause I would never do such thing” post? No, they didn’t and geee, I really wonder why.
Instead, what did they choose to address? Out of all the things I’ve said. Hm? What did they choose? Me telling them to fuck off. Me dropping the F-bomb on them, rudely rejecting their obvious kindness and politeness. Nothing else.
Back to what I was talking about before I got derailed again: no, I’m not mad cause this person used my gifs without crediting me. I mean – I am, but that’s not my main issue with them (and they know it). My main issue is that this is someone who will continuously lie and steal and still deny any of it, even when there’s plenty of proof (and you can always count on me to show up with proof tbh), and then go as far as to publicly ask about my gifs and try to call me out. Like me getting mad that something I’ve put hours of work into, and something I’ve made cause I love the game and I want to share my love and appreciation for it, is now being shared against my will and my knowledge - like me getting mad over something like that is so unreasonable that they need to make an entire post about it while pretending they have absolutely no idea why I’m even mad and why we have issues.
And I have every fucking right to be mad. 3 times is not an accident. 2 times to the same person is not an accident. They know it. But yeah, playing stupid is their defense so it’s not like I expected them to actually address their actions this time either.
And you know what? Just because I swear a lot doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t mean there’s no solid ground for my claims. People on tumblr have always been and always will be stealing shit. Sometimes they will credit you, often they will not, and that’s just how it is, doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit quiet and accept someone’s shitty behaviour. Especially when it’s directed at me.
TLDR: giving credit =/= having permission
but my previous posts leading to this ask were not about that
you knew that already
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urchids-blog · 6 years
Text
Cthulhu in Space (Part 1)
Hello, im new to posting stuff and this is my first ever post on tumblr. So bare with me as I try to find a decent upload schedule. Also i do more than just D&D stuff, I also stream (mostly Overwatch, but occasionally other games too) come check it out, it’s really funny, apparently, so I’ve been told. https://twitch.tv/urchids 
So this D&D story is heavily home-brewed, I mainly made it for my whole team of new players out of popular vote. They had told me they wanted a custom campaign, before hand, i’d given them a list of options for campaigns to choose from. 2 of those options was a space campaign that I had home-brewed for another set of players, and the other was the Call of Cthulhu set. They saw these two options and had asked if I could make a Cthulhu in Space campaign. I said, “it’d take longer to make, because of the amount of planning I have to come up with a decent home-brew campaign that makes sense.” they all agreed, but sooner than expected we actually started my “Campaign”. Keep in mind a LOT of this campaign is home-brewed so I left a lot of the core elements of D&D out so there was a lot of abuse. Lets Begin!
Our story starts out on a space cruise liner, Like from the movie, “The 5th Element”. This cruise liner was actually disguised as a resort for black market dealers, Pirates, and many different space Mafias. One of our adventures, Echo Mender, a Human Cyborg, was relaxing on the main deck next to the pool, he orders a beer from a moving butler robot. Our 2nd adventurer, [Vector] an Old one (a race here since the beginning of time) Medic, was on the 2nd level overlooking the pool, he was approached by a little girl, they greeted each other, then the little girl pulled out a knife and tried to mug [Vector]. [Vector] or almost retaliated, but a older women, somewhere in her mid 20′s, approached them and escorted the little girl away, probably mother and daughter or Sisters. Vector held the grudge, which is natural after getting a friendly greeting and then almost getting mugged. our 3rd adventurer, [Erik] a Flarian (shorter elf but immune to fire) Tinkerer, was in the bar, ordering shot after shot. 
Then a intercom that shouted out to the whole ship was announced. “Can we get any volunteers to come and help us with a “situation” in the engine room? meet the captain in the helm for further details.” Everyone was either drunk out of their minds or could care less about what was going on, but our adventurers took on the challenge. 1 by 1 the adventurers meet each other in the helm of the ship where the captain stood their, in terror and almost crying. The captain looks up to them and says, “Oh thank goodness! I thought we would never get anyone to help us! Anyway dont mind me, just a nervous captain whose whole ship is a hostage to the villainous scum in the engine room, threatening to blow up the ship if we dont give them 1 billion dollars to them. Oh what am I saying, were all scumbags.” Echo walks up to him and slaps him to knock some sense into him, Critical, His face is red from the hit and assumes a completely different personality, almost flirtatious with echo. Echo backs up, obviously not into that, but still complies to help him with the hostage situation. Erik and Vector, still laughing from the personality switch, also agree to help Echo take on the Terrorists. 
The Captain leads them down a hallway towards the engine room door, 2 negotiators are talking with the Terrorists and 10-12 different guards, all suited to the toe with SWAT like armor are standing close by but out of sight from the Terrorists. The captain stops and tells the group they are negotiating with the Terrorists but the situation has only gotten worst. Erik peaks in, without being noticed, and sees no one, until a random gunshot goes off and one of the negotiators goes down on the ground face first, yellow blood oozing out of his head due to his race. Vector, unfazed from the dead body that lay before them proposes to go through the ventilation system and try to sneak attack them. The group agreed, but none of the guards could come with them, due to the bulkiness of their armor. The captain returned to the helm, to resume captain duty and keep the ship in shape while the situation was resolved. The team began their crawl through the vents, and eventually found themselves above the group of Terrorist. They all wore a wooden mask, each with a small symbol on the left cheek. One stood out from the rest, a man with a mini-gun, his mask was engulfed with the symbol, you almost couldn’t tell it was the same symbol because of the curvature of the mask. The team assumed he was the boss of the group. They attempted to keep moving through the ventilation system until sheer drop lay before them, Vector was the first to drop, Critical Fail. 
He landed on his head, taking only 1 damage (out of 20), he could hear small creaking but didn’t pay too much to mind. next was Echo, he slid down and landed softly, the small creaking a little bit louder, but again no one payed too much attention. Erik drops down as well, the creak still being there. the team soon realized the ventilation system dropped down and was hung in the air by metal bars leading too a dead end. Vector could feel a breeze coming from the dead end, he told his team there was a fan that brought air from the engine room into the ventilation system, wither to cool the massive room, or poor engineer design in the system. Erik used one of his skills, because he was a tinkerer, he could use small spider bots to do various things, including self-destruction for a decent amount of damage, he dropped one down to try and take down a enemy on the left, and tried to snipe another on the right with his laser rifle. He missed with advantage, and soon the guard on the left was taken down, but the guard on right soon alerted everyone around him, and started shooting back up at the ventilation system. all the guards miss their shots but instead hit the bars holding up the ventilation system, soon the whole thing falls down and hits 2 guards who were trying to shoot up at them, killing them instantly. 
Echo emerges from the vent and finds cover, as he’s pelted with lasers and bullets. he takes his cyborg arm and shoots a beam of plasma and completely knocks a guards jaw off, he falls to the ground instantly. Erik emerges and joins Echo, shooting another shot at an unsuspecting guard. Vector, still in the vent is assaulted by a guard coming from behind them. using his high charisma and pure luck roll, he manages to convince the guard to not harm him, and a part of the vent from above drops down onto him, knocking him out. Vector goes to a separate part of the area to find his own cover. What the adventurers couldn’t see while in the vent, was the 2nd use of the engine room, it was also a cargo hold. crates are scattered and stacked on top of each other, each with separate loot or useless junk. The man who is presumed as the boss steps forward and starts shooting his mini-gun at Vector, and his cover. Slowly deteriorating, the cover was giving way until almost none was left, Vector took 3 damage. In an attempt to save his friend, Echo and Erik shot their weapons at the boss, both missing their shots, but the boss switched his attention to them, and starts filling their cover with bullets. In an random attempt to shoot him again, Erik shoots his weapon again, Critical Success. Erik hit him square in the chest, but the boss seemed fine, only a bit staggered. but then a dark plume of smoke emerged from him, and a necklace with a green eye falls out of his shirt. It turns out the necklace is producing the smoke, and a figure, hooded, emerges out of it and then disappears. A 2nd being emerges from it, along with a pack of smaller versions of it, a huge purple lion with quills instead of fur looms over the boss’s head. The Boss looks up and Screams as the beast chomps the top half of his body clean off. Erik, and Echo had no clue what the beast was, but Vector knew exactly what it was. The beast was called a Alpha Rennigan (and no i do not watch Naruto, so I had no clue what this meant when a player pointed this out to me) an extinct beast that used to live on the primal planet Axl. It gathers smaller versions of itself, and formed packs, it would eventually have a pack of up to 20 to 30 Rennigans following it, usually, this one only had 8. The Terrorist, were horrified seeing their leader quickly taken down, by an unknown beast. They quickly evacuated quickly getting shot down by the Captains crew as they came out of the engine room. 
Our team, was left with a group of 8 small Rennigans and a Alpha Rennigan. Will they be able to Defeat the monster? Who was the mysterious figure? Who were the group of terrorist and what was there goal? find out next time...
I hope you enjoyed this First post I’ve ever made, ever on tumblr. and if this post gets some positive reception then i’ll push out the 2nd part really soon (after the holidays of course). Be sure to follow my twitch as well! https://twitch.tv/urchids I’ll try to be more online, than I am now, and expand my arsenal of video games to play (ei. Rust, DBD, and maybe table-top sim with friends to play some D&D, in a simulation. ye.)
 - Urchids, December 23rd 2018
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lilietsblog · 7 years
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LETS GO MIRAI NIKKI LIVEBLOG THIS TIME HOPEFULLY WITH SCREENSHOTS
(update: nope didnt work. guess i do have to save the pics separately and not just copy-paste them into an rtf o well)
last time on: is Gasai trying to kill them??? i have no idea last time she was onscreen they (she and Yukki) were drinking soda from the vending machine????
I LOVE AKISE AND HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS SO MUCH like theres the normal guy freaking out and then theres this beautiful white haired disaster
meanwhile I think Yuno is??? roleplaying??? like she counts on him being non-responsive to play out her fantasy of being a caring housewife? anyway yeah she's done this offscreen huh. that was a jarring transition
AND SUDDENLY OPENING its somehow SUDDEN every time and I admire that man I love this opening so much and I cant take a single screenshot reflecting how awesome it is because the entire Thing is constant movement so hey Akise whatcha thinking man I love just the CONTRAST Akise:
Other people:
what is it with me and characters who never show their emotions on their face or in their voice but act exclusively based on them??? like theres this very specific anime trope of a white haired character who is stoic as fuck but instead of making rational decisions motivated by human people logic they do 100% self-destructive things based on curiosity / love / sense of duty / whatever the fuck else and in the end they appear to be missing precisely one emotion and that's self-preservation (yes self preservation is totally an emotion look it up) Akise is that exact trope and I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH meanwhile, Yuno is having trouble feeding an unconscious prisoner... what an unexpected problem that could in no way be foreseen. let me guess: she's going to try to wake him up so he can swallow his damn katsudon ah no instead Hinata intervenes. hon SHE BEAT HIM UP AND TIED HIM TO A CHAIR HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK SHE CARES IF HE WANTS KATSUDON. what made you think speaking up was a good idea here
theres a meme of 'ask someone whos not in the fandom to interpret whats going on in this picture' but you know i think random ppl would identify this situation 100% correctly +- who Hinata is to Yukki. this anime is a cultural icon "Aren't you Yukiteru's girlfriend? Can't you tell?" I love the moon logic this anime operates on, that people inside it are forced to work within. Hinata knows how to put it in the one and only way Yuno would be willing to engage with it, ha. Aaaand looks like it's less roleplaying and more delusion. oh Yuno ah she figures out how to make him open his mouth by pressing on his jaw Yuno honey maybe the police wont come after HIM but after the shit you pulled it sure as fuck will come after YOU then again according to Akise it was coming after you anyway I guess I'm morbidly curious as to exactly how Yuno is going to organize Yukki peeing >_< huh, a sock aaaand Akise goes for the win! two skulls alas I already know One Spoiler that they are her parents, and her actions Almost Kinda Make Sense in that dream logic way so I think last time we saw the bodies they were mummies? but now that's definitely skeletons. huh
okay I'll be honest this is a reaction I did not predict this anime keeps surprising me with happenings that make perfect sense in retrospect, I really respect that about it OH IS THIS THE SCENE THAT SCREENSHOT SET WAS FROM NO I THINK THAT WAS YUKKI ASKING HER but Akise what the fuck are you counting on, that she'll come murder you in person??? I doubt all three of you could overpower her in Murder Mode tbh did you see her with an axe oh right you didnt :>
OH HEY THAT'S CLEVER I like how Yuno goes between 100% self-delusion about Yukki and painful 100% sane clarity about the horrible stuff with the other option being relatively normal interactions with Yuuki, memory suppression about murders and cheerful willingness to kill anyone for Yukki I think that second option really is better for her long-term )= you two do you realize she hears you as well maybe shut up okay no not really -I- know she's thinking because of the camera movement and stuff, -they- don't aaand she laughs. i dont think anyone (other than Akise I guess) saw this coming okay yeah looks like the gamble failed. the mind-preservation instinct of retreating into delusion overpowered the more mundane concerns so that's totally ventilation up there huh. I'm not sure if the gas plan will work for her huh so hum moment of truth WILL Akise send the email to the police or was that just a threat? (orrr the police might know already? he might have told That Nice Cop Guy about it) awww Kousaka's dying message is kinda cute
kinda superfluous - the police already know who they're looking for - but nice AHAHAHA POST LIMIT THAT'S KINDA HILARIOUS THAT'S WHY EVERYONE ELSE JUST USED THE MEMO FUNCTION ah no the rank increased fair enough wait what????? what the fuck @ Deus ah okay to clarify: what the fuck @ 8th well hey it worked out! I still quesiton a ventilation duct in a gassing room but hey I guess there was a lot of gas and Yuno didn't see a reason to conserve it and Kousaka's question is of course why the fuck is Yuno in her underwear. I mean... fair enough, I'm kinda curious too omfg
HELLO POLICE I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT A MURDER oh right... bad joke anyway I like how camera doesn't play along with Kousaka, while he's saying he's the ultimate weapon he's literally blocked by Yuno's head. we know who the main character is oh hey Yukki is coming to his senses! but can't talk huh right I figured it'd be the soda
*whaps with newspaper* NO NO BAD YUNO STOP THAT (she's drawn so prettily tho damn <3)
oh my sweet summer child you don't know the rules of this game AT ALL hum and the girls can't escape the same way he did because they aren't tall enough dude she's gone up against like five diary owners already and came up on top every time you don't know who you're challenging
huh she actually agrees to play the game wonder if that's genuine or if she has a plan like, I can imagine she's just been pulled into the situation and the role of the big bad setting up traps enough to enjoy toying with people and not just getting her way at the very least she hasn't axe-murdered him... or Hinata for that matter... yet
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED it definitely wasn't just one event tho. Yuno doesn't act like someone who used to be a normal healthy kid in a supportive environment until One Bad Thing Happened and took their entire world. No, Yuno is acting like someone who'd built up the dissociation/delusion defense mechanisms over a long, long time, like, say, a victim of abuse who finally snapped and then didnt find a way to snap back I just wanna knooooow
OH MY GOD SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE HAS A PLAN IS IT NECROMANCY IS SHE GONNA DRESS UP YUKKI AND HINATA AS HER PARENTS WHAT THE FUCK hum what did Yukki realize that's not a key is it?
IT ACTUALLY WORKED I CAN'T BELIEVE aaand
yeah at least she didn't kill him... immediately hum
Hinata and Yukki are both tied up so I'm not sure what they can do together behind Yuno's back but I know a foreshadowing shot when I see one for all that this anime keeps genuinely surprising me with twists, it does take care to make the events easy to follow, and I like that this is Quality Storytelling
yeah but it would have shown a Dead End, right??? or does it not work like that because it's like a 'secondary' diary, an offshoot of the 8th??? I wonder
AHAHHA sorry Yuno you're used to being up against diary owners, but so is Yukki, and he's been growing more competent at this too
NICE and she'd given him his own diary -> ???? brilliant decision but seriously if Hinata did something to Yukki wouldn't that be predicted orrr I guess Yukki's actions were actions of a diary owner so when he made a new decision based on his diary (again, brilliant decision) it changed he prediction ooooohhh she kicked the key that wasn't doing anything to Yukki in itself, it just enabled Yukki to act, which, again, the actions of a diary owner three diary owners????? please tell me that's Akise and Mao and oh right Kousaka was the third one the math doesn't add up :x I think the three diary owners would be able to find them bc of Kousaka's Diary and that's the 8th's plan
this must look so utterly surreal from the side
Yuno? You're not going to drug me and tie me up and try to kill my friends, are you? This girl seriously needs to learn how normal relationships work and I Yearn to learn what the fuck fucked her up like that.
BAD MOVE YUNO HE ALREADY TRIED THAT THIS IS THE RESULT
congrats Yuno you Fucked That Up
sorry but... yeah. you deserve this
???? someone in the cast lives in an orphanage??? I'm calling Akise in that case
oh nm it's something else huh
ah that's what it was oh Kousaka everything about you was a bad idea ...
... what
it really, really fucking isn't Yukki acted on information he had, and made the best decisions he had available. but he can't control other people's actions
...are these... the apprentice diary owners? how does the system work, anyway? how does the 8th send them after anyone? Kousaka has no clue...
uh was the dramatic slo mo effect in-universe too??? they were kind of racing on opposite lanes that couldn't have taken more than like. two seconds
see that's not wrong but. you really need to up your girlfriend game dammit im just rooting for Yuno in all this. you go girl. you fight your inner demons and figure out a happy ending for yourself damn that felt like a really long episode. probably because of the screenshots here's a proposition of a new function for the tumblr staff: uploading .rtf files automatically, splitting into several posts if they are too big. thats the kind of convenience the social media is supposed to offer, right? oh hey Murmur's diary! third installment of the You Saved Me series
beautiful
you naive fucking child oh my god Murmur
MURMUR NO
so was this, like, a dream or something? hum interesting
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meiizumi · 5 years
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Castle of Shikigami: An informal rant nobody asked for about my most obscure obsession to date
STOP i spent like 2 days writing this post and im only posting it on tumblr because it’s the one website i’m a member of that can hold the most text. i wanted to infodump somewhere...... read this to learn something i guess (´・ω・`)
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Bad voice acting is the Peak of comedy to me, and while I was looking for something to laugh at one day, I found this game called Castle Shikigami 2 for the PS2. The US version of the game's dialogue is rife with machine translated text that makes no sense, and awkward voice acting to boot. They even have voice actors saying the wrong lines, voice actors speaking implied commands, and a few voice lines are left in Japanese. Apparently, Roger Craig Smith (Sonic the Hedgehog's current voice actor) was in this game but I don't think he's even credited?! I think I know which character he voiced but I’m not exactly sure.
The history behind this game’s localization is REALLY weird. Castle of Shikigami/Shikigami no Shiro was originally an arcade bullet hell shoot em up game. The series was created by Alfa System and it was one of Alfa System’s main IPs. There are three main shmup installments and a text adventure game for the PS2, Nanayozuki Gensoukyoku. Nanayozuki was practically fanservice for whatever number of CoS fans there were back then. Each main game in the series was originally an arcade cabinet, but they were all ported to PC and home consoles. In CoS 2′s case, it came out on the PS2, Gamecube, and Dreamcast, but only the PS2 version got localized. The western publisher, XS Games specializes in publishing quality budget titles such as “Bass Pro Shops: The Strike” for the Wii. I theorize they didn’t care too much about the actual content of CoS 2 and were more focused on selling a game quickly for a low price, so they just machine translated it and adjusted a few things. If you’re wondering if Castle of Shikigami 1 was also translated this badly, the answer is No. XS Games instead removed all the dialogue from the western release of CoS 1, and released it with the title “Mobile Light Force 2″.
“Wait, what do you mean ‘Mobile Light Force TWO’ if Castle of Shikigami 1 is the first game in the series?” If you want to know what Mobile Light Force 1 was, it’s GUNBIRD; another shmup game, but by a completely different developer than Castle of Shikigami. I don’t know why they did that. What really kills me though is that both MLF 1 and 2 use the same boxart, which is COMPLETELY unrelated to the actual contents of either game. AFJQHJFOKLJFDS look at this
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There’s more hilarity behind Mobile Light Force that isn’t hard to find so you can search that up if you’re interested. But thankfully, Castle of Shikigami 3's Wii edition got more of a proper localization by Aksys Games.
Now I would bluntly say something like “stan castle of shikigami” but:
1. This series’ lore is insanely convoluted. It’s an essential part of this expansive fictional universe referred to as “Mumei Sekaikan” (I don’t know what this translates to in English) where there’s like, 7 different parallel worlds. There’s more obscure ass games and manga that are tied to this universe, and I think there’s even a tabletop RPG made based off it. Have you heard of “Gunparade March”? Most likely you haven’t; it’s an obscure video game made by Alfa System that also got adapted into an anime, and I feel it can be described as Mechas x Persona. One of the characters in CoS 2 is just one of the GPM characters going undercover to find her senpai who traveled to the CoS world. Or something like that. The 7-world universe isn’t explicitly talked about in the game but they make so many references to it without defining anything that it’s like you Must know about it. There is NO documentation in English about the Mumei Sekaikan I could find on the internet, although there is a wiki in Japanese where I got a ton of knowledge from (GOOGLE TRANSLATE IS MY TRUSTED FRIEND) I feel like I might be THE person in the United States who has the most knowledge on the Mumei Sekaikan, and I could go on another tangent talking about what I know so far (and who this one specific dude Shibamura Yuuri is) but I won’t.
2. The writing isn’t excellent and can be pretty Unwoke ™; the first game came out in 2001 and the third game came out in 2005 if that gives you a sense on what era these writers were in. As far as the games dialogue goes, the characters appear kind of flat. CoS 1 and 2 Kotaro (i refuse to use the official “Kohtaro”) is stupid and driven by JUSTICE to a point where it’s annoying. I can’t tell if Hyuga is trying to be a Ladies Man in CoS 2 and 3. Kim, a religious tae kwon do instructor, spends CoS 2 thinking about how he should atone for his sins, then he turns himself into jail at the end. Sayo’s backstory is that she was a shrine maiden raised as a “human weapon” to have no emotions and her only goal in life was to kill god and then die, something like that. However, after CoS 1, she gets a crush on Kotaro because he actually treats her like a human and Of course that’s what you’d expect from the main teen girl and boy in the series. In CoS 3, Sayo's character is mostly played out to be a major tsundere for Kotaro even though surprisingly HIS character in this game changed a ton compared to 1 and 2 (he had to kill an illusion of his older brother, who he learned actually died earlier, and now he has to kill an illusion of his childhood sweetheart... damb that shit sucks :/). He’s still stupid though
There’s a gag in CoS 2 that I can’t clearly remember where it’s like, Niigi makes Sayo and Fumiko, who are both romantically interested in Kotaro, think that he’s only into little girls? Meanwhile, Fumiko’s magic goes wrong and her appearance turns to that of a child though in response she’s like “hee hee maybe Kotaro will like this”. basically more On-Brand early 2000′s anime unwokeness than average. Speaking of Fumiko, she’s a 400+ year old militaristic witch who constantly teases Kotaro (who’s like 16 or 17) and she wants to marry him for his magical potential since he’s like one of the candidates for becoming God??? From the official CoS 3 character descriptions, “Her hobby is to steal the men from other women. Her second hobby is trampling upon people.” She canonically stole her stepmother’s husband from her stepmother (the 3rd boss of CoS 3). I don’t get how that shit would have worked
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3. The game itself is HARD af but to be fair I’m a scrub gamer. I can’t get past stage 3 on easy difficulty without continuing. Yes i bought CoS 1 on Steam, Yes it has a port on steam i feel like i should have mentioned this earlier
4. Besides CoS 1 having a port on Steam, CoS 2 and 3 might be hard to obtain legally. The poorly translated CoS 2 was apparently super cheap back then, but since it’s an old game, its value might’ve increased. When I tried looking up prices for English CoS 3, all the listings were like at least $40 and being broke I wouldn’t want to spend more than $29 for a Wii game in 2019... honestly I just emulated CoS 2. shout out to PCSX2
Last month I was desperate, bored enough, and deep enough in the Shikigami rabbit hole that I tried to find the manga based off of it online. The CoS manga only tells the events of the first two games so I still don’t really get anything about CoS 3, like who Mihee, Batu, and Emilio are supposed to be. However, the plot events also differ. For example, Roger Sasuke exists as a character in CoS 3 but in the manga he literally Dies. There’s 11 total volumes of this; 3 volumes dedicated to CoS 1 and the latter 8 (the “Twisted Castle arc”) dedicated to CoS 2. Only the very first 3 chapters were scanlated to English all the way in 2011. Fortunately, I did find the entire manga uploaded though............... in CHINESE. So you know what I did? I “read” the entire thing using my phone’s Google Translate OCR app to take pictures of each page and comprehend the translations. Of course I still don’t understand CRAP because of the Mumei Sekaikan jargon + machine translation but I understood enough to get emotionally attached to some of the characters. I wish I hadn’t. At least through the manga I learned that the characters DO have some depth and pre-established relationships. For instance, the reason why Roger Sasuke became a ninja is because when he first landed in Japan as a kid, he was getting bullied or something and he didn’t know Japanese then Kotaro saw this and told the bullies to stop. Then after Roy /sorry i mean Roger learned that he was set to home-stay with the Kugas in the first place, he decided to dedicate his life to Japan in order to protect Kotaro back. I think. DO U SEE HOW ABSURD THIS SHIT IS Anyway Nanayozuki takes place between the second and third games and sets things up for CoS 3. There’s a full playthrough of it uploaded to YouTube and I think it contains a lot of juicy lore, but it’s just too much to go over with Shitty Google Translate OCR. There’s also Shikigami no Shiro novels which apparently contain the most backstory, but I have a 0% chance of finding these online for free. Not to mention that these would ALSO be too much effort to Google Translate.
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in conclusion: You don’t HAVE to play Castle of Shikigami. Like, I’m not gonna recommend it for the content, but if you love shmups and are looking for a shmup game you haven’t heard of then I will recommend it for the gameplay (old touhou mutuals assemble theres a POWER-UP-BY-GRAZE MECHANIC). I’ve counted like 4 total fans outside of Japan that like this series for the story, and I don’t think that number is going to increase because I doubt CoS 2 will ever get retranslated and ported. I just want you to know that this series exists and that there’s a ton of wacky shit behind it besides the bad Castle Shikigami 2 dub. also if someone knows enough japanese or chinese and has an INKLING of interest in this series umm talk to me and help me decipher stuff
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I‘m kinda sad that the series is pretty much Dead though. This is the most recent piece of official Castle of Shikigami art I could find, and this was for the 2018 New Year. The next most recent piece of official CoS art I found was also drawn by the character designer Sonoda Miku all the way in January 2008, commemorating the end of the CoS manga serialization. Alfa System released a spiritual sequel to Castle of Shikigami on the Japanese Switch eShop called Sisters Royale, with character designs I think are still by Sonoda. By “spiritual sequel” I mean that it has some of the EXACT same shot types as CoS and the same mechanic where grazing bullets increases your power and score. This is the closest we’ll get to a Shikigami no Shiro 4. I wonder what the business decision behind that game was but it actually looks like fun and I want to play it so OK Go off i guess
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chasing-rabbits · 5 years
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I dont think the monetizing on your mentally ill page is a bad idea, IF you do it the right way. I think the idea behind spreading the word of mental illness, raising awareness and destigmatizing it is what we need to do. If selling buttons or stickers or shirts or what have you to sell accomplishes this goal then go for it! I would buy a pin that says " __awareness" I would NOT buy a pin that says "SOS my girlfriends bipolar" BUT ur smart and you get it so I doubt you would do that anyway lol
Well considering I have bipolar and bpd and am currently battling stigma from MH professionals yeah I just i see on redbubble the site i use for my vegan designs. Like I looked up bipolar some of it was just horrible like there was these his and hers tops and it was basically correlating bipolar gf w/ crazy etc and i just...idk i find it in v. bad taste especially since i found no evidence to suggest this person has bipolar or any mental illness that is heavily stigmatised. I understand using dark humor to cope but i feel if you are going to sell on the nose dark humor related merch it should be about a disorder you personally have. You know? Also i would not sell even dark humor stuff that uses the word crazy in reference to bipolar. Like when I say dark humor and stuff i mean like i used to follow a blog called self harm shark and some ppl sent it hate saying it glorified it and such but honestly it helped me on tough nights not to cut/not to feel less alone i actually felt less crazy because many user submitted stuff I could relate to and its one of those things where you might think youre alone in feeling this or that and you realise youre not and that is sad sure that someone else experiences it too but it is relieving to know youre not the only one it makes you feel less crazy bcos u realise its not just you so its almost like not normal but its not like youre the only one who experiences it therefore you just idk im not good at explaining it just makes me at least feel less crazy etc. But yeah i mean..idk i just think yeah certain things shouldnt be joked about and i feel like if youre not suffering with said mental illness or dont have a relative or partner or anything with said mental illness you shouldnt really even consider making dark humor or on the nose jokes/humor/memes to sell etc. Cos it comes off as more well..do you actually think that? Are you stigmatising us or thinking these things? Are you trying to make a buck off mental health but you dont care about the mentally ill? You know you just never know someones intentions. I know like for example i woudlnt want to buy vegan merch off someone whose not vegan who doesnt believe in the vegan lifestyle..when I could buy a vegan pin or magnet or coaster set etc from a vegan trying to work hard to make a living its just yeah... I have some designs in mind actually that i have already created for bipolar and mental illness. I actually have one saying my mental illness is not your adjective or something like that. I do have one i created that says ‘bipolar af’ i created it when manic and now ive come out of mania im not entirely sure if its a good idea to sell it or not? I mean im not sure if that is like idk if the as fuck bit makes it sound bad or if it could be misinterpreted and seen as like..the whole using it as an adjective thing like what if people buy it who are like buying it to like use bipolar as an adjective in that terms like you know how people say the weather is so bipolar or quite often bipolar is used to describe someone who just has mood swings or someone who people might define as highly strung or ‘crazy’ idk im not sure if the AF bit makes it seem like thats how its gonna be viewed. I mean to me idk I guess it was just an idea of a shirt or pin etc saying hey im bipolar and you know im not ashamed but in less words...idk if youve noticed but im extremely like anxiety riddled and so worried of being seen as what i despise and that..like worried my designs or words might be misinterpreted or that i might have like a dark humor post or something and maybe it is abit too on the nose or that people might be upset about it or so on. I dont know because no one can police how someone copes with their illness but it is different when that person it putting it out there for sale on pins and stuff you know? Oh btw I am going to be making pins and magnets and other stuff. I am currently working on deciding if i do it through Teepublic/Redbubble or if I use this local manafacturer I found in Leeds (im from good old britland lmfao or brexshitland)  Which might be more costly because Idk that i’d be able to afford to bulk buy the products..i mean I could always do like a uhh thing where whats it called where you have a campaign and you set a limit/target so you say once i reach 100 sales i’ll buy the product and ship it out kinda thing? But idk because i mean what if it takes literally a year to reach 100 sales and people dont want to wait that long. So im not sure...i mean I could do a gofundme maybe but idk how that works..or how to set it up. I really want to focus on my Mental health blog and socials and that combines with my poetry as much of my poetry is mental health related and so recovery related too. So my poetry is less of something i really need to worry about maintaining because i write when i want to when i get inspired or when I need to vent to keep my mental health in check. So i just do it off the cuff as and when and post it to my poetry tumblr. I  have over 500 pieces stock piled that I just need to schedule to my WordPress site. So thats not an issue. So I guess right now I need to work out where to focus iike Mental Health stuff or vegan designs for my Rb or what I could do is just dedicate a day a week to the vegan designs on redbubble as its not very time consuming to create the designs. And then I can upload them like as and when maybe just spend an hour a day uploading designs and making a new instagram post and sharing that on facebook and here.  So then I have 6 days minus an hour a day to work on my mental health stuff which is my main focus and passion tbh. I guess ive been delaying it because ive been strugglign so much lately ive felt like a fraud or felt like i’d be a fraud preaching happiness and recovery and talking about things to help yourself during depressive episodes etc when i was just mooching around watching tv and just feeling blah...you know? I just..I dont know where to start with the mental health stuff and im so afraid of failing and fucking up or being judged and people thinking i suck or like recently i got accused of faking my mental illnesses from a guy in a UK businesses networking group..he sent me a tirade of hate and how he was gonna shame me for being a fake and claimed he had borderline PD and bipolar too and how hes learnt most people fake it and take advantage of the system put in place to help people really mentally ill luckily the admins removed him from the group..but its just..it really got to me you know. My biggest thing is being told im faking it because so many people think borderlines fake their mood shifts because we change happy to suicidal in seconds or at least i do sometimes at my worst..its just hard..i get it can seem attention seeking because we over react to minor issues and arguments but thats literally the definition of our disorder. we are emotionally unstable and we think and like evrything to us is in extremes i love to the max i get angry over reactive to the max i ahve extreme fears of abandonment triggered by slight changes in my relationships w/ people things others might not even pick up on.. idk i got a lot to say and dont know where to start! haha but thank you I will definitely look more into creating mental health based merchandise..
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