#and im trying. with questionable progress. but im trying.

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

Fanfic, for how I imagine the Butcher would proceed after that:

Chief Pete Jones was used to dealing with the dregs of society. He’d arrested all types of criminals for over a decade before he’d become chief. And sometimes he associated with the wealthier criminals in a more business-like manner. Not honorable, perhaps, but when those same criminals were deciding on the department’s budget, it ensured his job was safe and often gave him extra cash here or there.

Still, it meant socializing with some people whom the chief never quite felt safe turning his back on. Dennis Collins, for example. The first time Jones had seen his work, the chief had vomited into a waste paper basket and needed to take off the next day. The man wasn’t human, and if Jones had any spine, he should have put a bullet in Collins’ head. Yet, Jones had still made sure the investigation faltered because Collins’ employer at the time had demanded it. And Jones hadn’t come forward with what he suspected the first time another of Collins’ employers had put a hit on one of Jones’ own employees because that would have led to Jones miss out on a few grand and likely would have ended with Jones in the Hudson.

Still, it was not a pleasant surprise to come into his office late one night to find Collins in Jones’ seat, feet propped on his desk.

“Evenin’, Pete.”

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Jones cursed, his hand flying instinctively to his service revolver.

The Butcher tsked. “I wouldn’. I’m here as a friend, but that can change.”

Jones didn’t remove his hand from his gun, but nor did he draw it. It was unusual for the people he did business with to use Collins as an intermediary; usually requests were made over lunch or dinner. There was nothing suspicious about a politician or philanthropist taking a police chief out for a meal to discuss a department’s progress and needs.

“Well? Why are you here?”

The Butcher tilted his head slightly. “Why, on account o’ our mutual friend, of course! I’ve been worried about ‘im. Isn’ it only natural I pay you a visit to find out what ‘appened?”

Finley. Of course it would be because of Finley. The detective was currently laid up in a hospital bed with a stab wound to his shoulder and a nasty gash to his temple. Doctors said he’d survive and would make a full recovery, but whoever had attacked him was still at large.

Jones wasn’t exactly sure of the nature of Finley’s relationship with Collins. Finley had never said anything, and Jones wasn’t going to ask. The less he knew about Collins, the safer he’d be. But in retrospect, it was natural for Collins to take an interest.

“He was stabbed. Other than that, we don’t know.” Jones said. It was true, though not for lack of trying. He took attacks on his own seriously, unless he was paid to look the other way. “We’re looking into it.” The Butcher didn’t reply, just looked at him with those cold eyes. “I don’t know what you want me to say. If we knew who it was they’d be in custody.” Still silence. Jones sighed. “Look, he’s being guarded 24/7. Until we get more leads, we can’t bring anyone in. We’re doing the best we can.”

Finally, Collins smiled. “Oh, I know you are, Pete. Yer a smart man, an’ you know I’m fond o’ this one. If I thought you were slackin’ on the job…” He shook his head. “As I said, yer’ smart enough to know better. I’m here because I want the files to the cases Finley’s workin’ on.”

“I… that’s not poss-” Jones forced himself not to take a step as Collins expression went grim and he swung his feet off the desk. “That will take a bit.” He amended. “I’ve already given the files to different detectives to look into leads. It might take a while to find them.”

The Butcher’s grin returned. “O’ course. I understand. Luckily, I have no where else t’ be. I can wait.” He looked at Jones expectantly, and Jones realized Collins meant for him to get them right now.

Jones decided that it was best not to complain about how it wasn’t out of the question for detectives to take files home with them and finding the ones still in the building would require rummaging through multiple desks. How it was one thing to write off evidence for one case going missing, but quite another to find a convincing explanation for multiple case files vanishing. Instead, Jones slowly backed out of his office and headed toward the first desk. Something told him that Collins wouldn’t take kindly to excuses. It was best to just get him what he wanted.

Imagine if Noel got hurt and was taken to the same hospital the Butcher tried to kill Daniel in.

I feel like there's no way Dennis would stay away, which means he'd need to get creative with his disguise.

He would definitely be able to pull it off.

Depending on how out of it Noel was, he might not even recognize Collins, which could lead to some interesting conversations:

Dennis: (presses a kiss to Noel's forehead) Get well soon, love.

Noel: (pulls away) Don' do that, doc.

Dennis: Why not?

Noel: I have a boyfriend.

[orcelito]

I find it so funny how online u guys r really only seeing a slice of my personality. On here I'm talkative and social and friendly (or at least I try to be). I'll ramble on and on and on... surely this is a person that likes to talk, you may think

I dont. I actually kinda hate talking in most circumstances hfkshfkdj. Like it's worth it when I'm with people I like, and if I'm comfortable u may even unlock the special interest rambles, but it does still take energy. Energy that I rarely care to give to most people.

So im social on here, but IRL I'm very quiet around Most people (excluding the special few), and I'll go out of my way to Never talk to strangers if I can help it. Granted, it makes it hard to make friends, and sometimes I'll think "man, if I put in an effort to talk to my classmates, maybe I'd have more IRL friends" but when I get there, even if I find someone who seems cool, my ass is NOT casually chatting with them lmaoooo. Just at the thought I'm like Ugh Ugh Ugh Ugh Ugh and so I just don't lol.

Such is the duality of me.

[caffeinatedopossum]

I actually find it really bizarre and counter intuitive that clinically speaking, you cannot legally be diagnosed with a personality disorder until you're at least 18. The reason given for this is because "the personality has not fully developed before this age" like ???

Ah yes, my favorite strategy. Not diagnosing the problem until it's already been virtually cemented into your brain for life! Wouldn't it be easier (and more painless) to address the problem before it's fully developed?

[acaciapines]

thinking about them (kris dreemurr)

[gu6chan]

thinking about the greatest thing I've ever been asked as a leonard mun ever that still frequently pops into my head and it was two years ago "do you think 1.3 would be transphobic"

[silverpoints-terminal]

Silverpoint tip of the week!

[Text in pink reads: Silverpoint tip of the week!. End of Plain Text.]

You need to keep your workspace with regular access to sunlight because when you go out in the middle of the day to drag your friend from her archives to your lab the sun's light will blind you if you are not used to it.

This is a problem I forgot one could have, so i am reminding you to check for sources of outside light in your current location---

Kip, are you SERIOUS?

You just explained to me the MULTIVERSE and you start updating with weekly tips? At least WAIT until I LEAVE for goodness' sake.

Alright, here's my tip, since I came all the way here. Learn when to say no. Like "No, Kip, I won't change my words. i'm right."

I can answer some questions. Don't waste my time though.

[the-kipsabian]

..i have a plot for the soulmates as horror fic finally

the problem is i also have two other longer projects going on at the moment along a few others that ive already started ages ago so its like. i really shouldnt start another multichapter thing

but god im just so happy to have a plot

[bangcakes]

.

[samaspic31]

Where's the post about the guy at the sex club who is always naked first so as to make others feel like it's okay for them to start too. I'm this but for gender

[colloquialcolors]

huh so. watership down. is a solid book. solid. book. compelling characters, thought through world building, build up and payoff in good amounts, somehow pretty hopeful despite the ongoing danger and threats throughout. like. damn. nice.

and honestly. less tragic than i was expecting! excellent. holding these little rabbits in my hands.

[regulargoose]

Guyssss my combinatorics assignment is gonna be the end of me. Why is it SO HARD. The examples and proofs in the lectures are literally so simple but this feels impossible😭😭😭

[arolesbianism]

Thinks oh so hard abt raccoon au printing pod doomed yuri.... What if you were a robot in love with your fellow robot but your past human selves had to fuck it all up and murder eachother 🙄

[bbrabbits]

wrote another note as civilly as i fucking could despite still being triggered, honestly. if this one doesn't result in us actually make up i fucking give up bruh i cant keep doing this w her

[rememberthelaughtermp3]

.

[despite-everything]

hooooo boy outta nowhere my dad decided at lunch today to ask me about what exactly gender identity is. wow. not a conversation i was expecting to have today

[jinwoosbabyboo]

𝙸𝚜 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚍𝚢?

You're an actor and you finally got your big role in a hit TV show. Unfortunately your character only made it to Season 2 before they killed you off. This is how I imagine the lads men react to watching that scene [Requested by: Anon]

𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎

calm cool and collected on the outside; whole time he's really having an internal breakdown

grips your hand a little tighter in his as the scene progresses

“are you dying? is this a tragedy?”

is very aware that it’s just a show, but can’t stop his heart from pounding at the thought of losing you

rubs his eyes to keep himself from tearing up

stares at you after the episode ends “What?” “The thought of losing you has always terrified me; watching you perform that scene does not help” “it’s my job Zayne besides im right here”

finds himself staring at you more often just trying to commit every feature of yours to memory

never willingly watches that episode again

skips over that part every time or just turns the show off “You still can’t watch it?” “No”

praises you for the phenomenal performance although he claims it was a little too realistic

𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕

is great at slipping in and out of character so he was the one helping you with your acting skills

sits up straight when he realizes what's happening “is this the scene you've been keeping secret?”

falls out immediately in your lap

bawling his eyes out goes as far to curl up in your lap

would be so proud of not only you, but himself as well for helping you perfect your craft

“Do I get credit as the acting coach?” “Yes would you like a reward?” “You know I do”

Although he’s proud of you he can’t bring himself to watch the episode again also doesn't continue watching the show in general "they killed off my favorite character how can I continue watching it now?"

keeps pushing you to work on crying on command so if you need to cry for your next roll it’s even better

acted out the scene with you at home for fun once and had a mental breakdown

𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛

Fell asleep in the middle of the show and missed it

“just watch it when you get a chance” “no replay it”

immediately turns the show off in the middle of the scene

“im not watching this” “Xav…” “No”

drills you with questions about why you didn’t tell him you were dying in that episode

“I can’t watch that don’t make me watch it” "You're being a little dramatic don't you think?"

pouts, pouts, and pouts some more

won’t watch it no matter how much you beg

although he never finished watching the whole scene he holds your hand tighter now these days

asks for a warning next time so he can prepare himself …… to fast forward

𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜

watches quietly giving away nothing

“You even shed a few tears for your own scene?” teases you for crying at your own death scene “it looks different after the editing okay!”

won't admit it, but one time was enough

“it made you sad didn’t it?” “Well I don’t take pleasure in watching you die onscreen sweetie” “im alive though” “Let's keep it that way”

weasels his way out of watching the scene again

his voice slightly wavers whenever you bring it up

avoids eye contact when you tease him about it

held you tighter at night for at least a month

Bonus: the twins bawled their eyes out and tackled you to the ground with a bone crushing hug