#and im sitting here losing my mind!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
sarah snook as shiv does this thing, i’ve sometimes noticed, where when she she’ll lower the pitch of her voice and/or the volume in which she speaks
sometimes it’s for emphasis and then other times it’s her being snarky
maybe i’ve lost my mind from watching this show (and not sleeping at all shhh) but it seems like her version of trying to intimidate or patronize someone
it feels like maybe she was trying to replicate this? from logan? from the other men she’s constantly been surrounded by in this fucking environment and has probably been threatened and diminished by them and is does this to feign an air of calm and collected and like she has it together???
#maybe i don’t know how to do character analysis LMAOO#she does it to mencken in 3x06#💪🏽😤 yeah i’ve read plAto. 🤫 remind me what happens? 👁️#but as the transsexual i am i now try to copy this#the way in which snook has her mannerism and expressions and posture for shiv and how it’s subtle and so very just shiv#and im sitting here losing my mind!!#succession#sarah snook#shiv roy#siobhan roy
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 2.14 — “Innocence”
#btvsedit#btvs#buffythevampireslayeredit#buffy the vampire slayer#creations#willoz#daniel osbourne#willow rosenberg#buffysource#dailybtvs#look im not going to sit here and say oz is the best character of all time or anything.#but i do think he is the most perfectly crafted love interest for high school willow they could have made#i think about this scene and the scene in amends (?) where willow tries to sleep with him a lot#because oz is there like!! i dont want you to want because you think you should#or because you're trying to hurt someone else. i want you to want me because you want me.#and he's able to read it later on when she's with him because she truly wants to be.#the willoz scenes in s2 truly make me lose my mind
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
they............ they made his nose bigger and more hooked to play a villain............ in twenty twenty three i cant fucking take it. i literally can't believe this is real what the fuck
#IM LITERALLY SO SHOCKED IM JUST SITTING HERE ??? LIKE IM . I DONT EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY#genuinely at a loss for words rn#this is . beyond anything#like he turned and i was like omg i never realised he had a hooked nose that's so cool:-) and then i#went to message someone abt it and halfway through typing it i was like wait maybe they#just made it bigger. no yeah they definitely did#im losing my mind. how is this real#disney#anti disney#antisemitism#jude law#peter pan and wendy
175 notes
·
View notes
Text
i miss writing so fucking much 😭😭😭
#'but aly you have been writing' and there has been no fulfillment no enjoyment. writing is something where i THOROUGHLY enjoy the process#i love it!!! i love writing so much!!!!! and i love that i love it!!!!!!!!! but right now it is just. borderline a chore. and anything#i try to write just frustrates me because i KNOW i can do better than this but the words just. arent working in my brain!!!#its been at least a couple weeks now and i still have sososoSO many ideas that are just. sitting there gathering dust#that i want to write and i want to love writing but i Don't. its something im like. making myself do because i know i should#instead of something im doing because i love it and i want to#and thats exactly what i NEVER want writing to become for me. ever. i refuse to push myself into burnout or disliking it#but that means Waiting and the waiting is driving me up a fucking wall i feel gross i feel like im losing my mind and usually writing would#HELP that and yet!!!!!!! here we are#no matter what i think of no matter what i try im not enjoying it. diff fandoms povs the literal HUNDREDS of scenes i have planned out and#waiting to be written!! none of it!!!! none of it has been doing anything remotely positive for me#i cant even use it to calm down when im overthinking because all its doing rn is making me overthink More!!!#delete later#this was Not supposed to be a vent 😭😭😭#im just so fucking sick of it its one of the biggest and only things that consistently makes me feel good and i miss it so much
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
[pacing] no but actually what did they put in close wars maul to make him so hot like what was that
#like the answer is passion obviously (and sam witwer voice) but it still makes me climb the walls lol#like its genuinely insane to me watching the maul episodes like i said this to my friends bu like#everything with him feels so indulgent#the animation the expresions the voice acting the delivery the Everything#like it feels like these peopel are just as excited to show us him#idk jsut like AUGH. AUGH [GNAWS ON THE BARS OF MY CAGE]#its interesting how like...hmmm how do i phrase this#i love rex more- obviously. but in the back of my mind with his animation im lwys kinda sitting here like#'you do not look 20-26 like ur supposed to man' and like dont get me wrong. still hot (though without the helmet mayb like post s3 ehehe)#(side note rex is just as hot with the helmet. sometimes hotter. sometmes the other way around but like. sometimes hotter. im right)#still [stares at him carnally] but i think the him in my minds eye simulatneously looks like show him but a little younger looking lol#whilst i dont have that caveat with maul i need no compartmentalisation (however small)#so instead i just watch like eeeoeuouoguhouogeuouuhh#(which to be fair i do with rex too but maul is in a lot less episodes so they really drive him in. so it feels like big induglent treat)#luke rambles#god im gonna tag this for archival purposes but ik this'll end up in the tgs KGDNSGJSGDS ah well#sw#tcw#maul#i will also say specifically tcw maul like rebels maul is fine but he loses a lot of his cuntiness and eatability persoanlly#which is fine its mostly the rebels animations fault lbr
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
#and i SADDLE UP MY PONYTA AND I RIDE INTO THE SIT-TAY#I MAKE A LODDA NOISE CUZ THE GURLS THEY R SO PRETAY#RIDIN' UP N DOWN BROADWAY ON MY OLD STUD LEROY AND THE GIRLS SAY:#SAVE A RAPIDASH RIDE A MEOWBOY!!!#JOHN WAYNE AINT GOT NUTHIN ON MY FRINGE GAME HELL NO!!!!#well stranger don't ya know i'd like to be yer friend... IF I HAD THE TIME TO STAAAAAAY.#BUT I'M A BRAMBLIN A BLOWIN IN THE WIND. I'VE GOT TO CATCH ANOTHER STAAAAAAAAGE.#I STRAP ON MY GUITAR JUST LIKE A FORTY FIVE. I PRAY EACH NIGHT MY AIM IS TRUUUUEEEE#and ACQUAINTANCES TURN TO FRIENDS I HOPE THOSE FRIENDS THEY REMEMBER ME#HOLD THE NIGHT FOR RANSOM AS WE KIDNAP THE MEMORIES#NOT SURE THERES A WAY TO EXPRESS WHAT U MEANT TO ME#SOMETIMES I GET TO THINKIN BOUT SETTLIN' DOWN. FADE OFF INTO A MEMORY.#BUT EVERY NIGHT THAT I STEP OUT TO FACE THE CROWD?#I KNOW THIS IS THE LIFE FOR MEEEEEEE#pokemon#meowth#ok context. to whomever it may concern. which is no one but idc i have a lot to say and no one to say it to#first off heres my like bi-annual post bc i 1. only draw f*rdekyl* and fucking detest f*re *emblem fans with a burning passion#so i hate sharing my 'art' . so heres a rare non-fk thing. bc i also hate social media as a whole it makes me sue of side all#but like 2. i have deliberately avoided scar/vio bc its a BAD GAME. and its not made well. also i know 'open world' formats#trigger my ocd. which it did exactly. but thats mostly irrelevant. but in anycase. i bit the bullet bc i was in a pkmn mood#esp after my long beloved n*te and dook*ie gave me a hankering for a pkmn game again#and my lil bro accidentally bought 2 copies years ago so i was like fck it ill give it a shot its Free#and yes the game is dogshit. however. everytime i see a meowth in the wild i lose my mind.#his jaunty little yee-haw walk kills me every time. i adore him. thus this was inspired.#alright imma head out i fucking hate this website as well as every other social media . maybe ill draw something non-fk in like a year#see ya in like a year maybe if i live that long. which i wouldnt count on bc tbh this year has been BAD in terms of my pain. im on the#EXTREME decline and can BARELY draw anymore. i want to die. i got nothin left. it just keeps getting worse so adios!#:(
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
dad just sent me an ominous text to intimidate me ig
#im so tired im so tired im so tired im so tired#i really dont want to be going through this right now#can we get on with the end of the world or literally anything it would be real nice hehe#im so tired#so much scary horrible things are happening rn#and it's obviously my fucking PARENTS#i can't keep going i dont want to it's so hard#i don't even know anything anymore idk who's in the right idk who's lying about what#uhhhh whatever whatever i need to sleep#but idk if I'll be able to ugh#dads just trying to ruin mom financially even though he's got enough money already and she can't fucking work#and i get the fucking. first row seat#and now he hates me too ig idk#why would he fucking send me that text of he didn't want to let me know hes furious with me or to#scare me idk fuck this#and I'm watching another horrible divorce with a close family member a#AND another fucking insane thing has been happening that's a huge problem ahaaaa im losing#my fucking mind here#and there's literally nothing i can do here like i can sit and take it#or die ig
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
god the reddening was a book that i wanted to like so bad. and yet. and yet.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#me sitting here like. oh. oh thats kinda. hmmmmm.#its like. advanced british racism you know.#like its JUST plausible enough that im not wholly sure if i can call it racism#especially because its all fucking white people#but at the same time im sitting here like. it has. all the bells and whistles OF racism#and sure! you could be using aboriginal in its other definition! thats probably the case!#but its also SUCH a specific word to pick there#also books that made me lose my MIND at one of the last ''big reveals''#books that made me shout ''WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS FUCKING WEED''#theres a free audiobook on youtube but im. not sure. i would recommend it.#fucking. weed. marijuana. thats the big illegal grow operation that theyre getting stupid rich on.#buddy idk how to tell you no one wants your stupid british weed
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes in life you will be 25 years old and hear a song come up on spotify that's by an artist you know and like, and you will go "oh, wait whoa, I didn't realize they sang this song I remember from my childhood??" and as you continue to listen the words... some of the words are different from how you remember... and about a minute in it hits you that you only ever heard the Kidz Bop version
#grandpa max is god? i go to church now#im sitting here losing my mind. hint: it was a song off of Kidz Bop 3
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
the devil works hard but ssri side effects work harder..........
#save me 😩#literally sitting here like count ur days girl this better be fixed soon or we are gonna have PROBLEMS#i was like well maybe ill just lay down and watch a movie but im so dizzy that trying to look at anything for longer than 5 seconds is#a chore#and all of this so i dont lose my mind from anxiety like actually i think this is worse
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
-
#i have been lying around with the urge to like um erase myself teeheeeeeeeeeeee#i love having a thin skin and also gng through PMS and also just being idk someone who hates themselves a lot hahahaahahahaha#I JUST WENT TO FUCKING THERAPY FOR MY FEELINGS OF NEEDING TO BE USEFUL AND KEEP PEOPLE HAPPY#JUST LAST WEEK#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKKKKKKKK#MENTAL HEALTH IS SO MUCH FUCKING HARD WORK I HATE IT HERE#IVE BEEN FEELING TIGHTNESS IN MY CHEST ALL DAY TODAY AND THIS STUPID THING JUST DETONATED#AND ITS A FUCKING SUNDAY I HAVE TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW KNOWING I FEEL LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT AT WORK#i feel like everyone probably hates me AND they should bc im so useless#AND IM SOMEHOW SUPPOSED TO UNLEARN NEEDING TO FEEL NEEDED????? WTF?????????????? GIRLLLLLLLLLLL I DONT HAVE THAT KINDA SELF ESTEEM L O L#i mean we all know hahaha yeah self esteem its something ure supposed to build yourself! it takes work!#I DONT WANNA DO THE WORK IT SUCKS HERE WHY CANT EVERYONE JUST LOVE ME AND FOR ME TO BE AWESOME AND FLAWLESS OMG IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR#fuck i know it is. and im supposed to sit down and imagine sitting down with some older fucking wise self and idk sit down and watch myself#so i can see how my brain is beating me up for jack shit but god its painful to even think about#and dinner is happening soon and i dont have any excuse for not gng to the dinner table soon#meanwhile im having a breakdown lolllll gotta pretend everything is fine and im not losing my mind so my parents wont call me a lil bitch :)#NEGATIVITY#i hate how much suicidal ideations are imprinted into my brain hehehehehehehe
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
im so overstimulated in this lecture rn and idk what to do so im just gonna complain here and hope it gives me some semblance of sanity because i still have 5 hours left to go in my day and i cannot break down rn. the lecturer is using this fuck ass microphone that you're supposed to clip on your shirt so that it picks up your voice properly but hes holding it up to his mouth so everytime he breaths out it makes that fuck ass noise that microphones make when you blow air into them and he keeps smacking his lips and i want nothing more than to get up and smash the microphone into a million pieces. the window is open and theirs a group of people laughing outside and the person a few seats down is tapping their leg up and down but its shaking my desk and someone keeps coughing and sniffling and i hate it all and i want to take a sledgehammer to this classroom oh my god oh my goodddd
#vent#im not insane but i might be getting there#i'll probably cry after this but for now ill just sit here like ._.#if he doesnt stop smacking his lips and sighing into the mic im going to lose my mind its actually after every word im not even joking#its like sigh ummm smacks lips sigh hmmm word sigh smacks lips#hes breathing so heavily#i hate mouth noises so fucking much
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
so nervous j cant think straight
#i know im gonna be fine i know i can pass this class but i just csnt take kt easy i csnt relax kts makkng me feel so krrational and freaked#out#ive been trying to calm down sincd like 8 and irs 11 now and ive been just like losing my mind for hours#i cant even go bck to work bc of my wrist sk im forced to just sit here and stew in my anxiety#i cantbreathe ToT
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
7 minutes of a phonecall with my mother is enough for me to start being a bitch lol
#i understand that going by train is a novelty for her but i spend half of my motherfucking life on trains and i feel sick just getting on em#but im '20 not 80' so i have no right to prefer not to spend 5.5 to 7 fucking hours on a train (which will ALWAYS be longer than it says)#when i can split that journey in 2 instead because. AGAIN. ive been getting on longer train rides at least twice a week on average#(sometimes more) for the past 3 years and i KNOW FOR A FACT that i start losing my goddamn mind and getting overstimulated after 3-4 hours#and i KNOW its gonna be a fucking NIGHTMARE for me to go on a completely avoidable 7 hour long ride WITH HER SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME#and its not that we really MUST choose the cheapest option because the difference will be like 20 zł at best#what the fuck is that woman's problem#the fact that she cant understand that 7 hours of sitting motionless in a closed space with Other People is nightmarish for me#and i cant explain it to her because we keep playing this fucked up game where i pretend that im Normal and not Mentally Fucked Up#but i can only keep it going for so long before the symptoms of Not Being As Normal As We Both Hoped Id Be start to show#and i can only mask them for so long too and why is it so hard to split that fucking train ride#and then IM the evil one and a bitch when i tell her 'okay we'll do it your way' cause she Doesnt Deserve That Tone From Me#babygirl you deserve SO much worse from me particularly fuck this this trip is gonna be a nightmare#i want siblings so bad. i just want someone on my fucking team why am i always simultaneously the Stupid the Bad and the Crazy one here
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!
#i am losing my sanity day by day#drowning myself in the nearby lake seems better and better every day#why am i even writing this i have literally no mutuals or even people who'd care about#don't mind me crying myself to sleep haha#ooooh look at this pathetic baby. sitting in their little bed crying stupid tears. i should at least get tissues now while my crying isn't#fuck history fuck school and fuck me i quess#am i gonna start treating this as an actual blog and make a sideblog for reblogs? who knows! certainly not me; stay tuned for the story!#i'm gonna go and just let it all out into a pillow#vent ig#my mom is blasting holiday music in the other room lol#nice to have a whatever the fuck im having while “jingle bells” plays#at least i'm not hearing mariah carey ig#anyway i've probably hadn't been taking care of myself lately it has been worse despite me promoting it to everyone who needs#when i vented last time and it wasn't taken seriously so woop#anyway imma go try to calm myself and back to my notes i go#please gods what did i do to deserve thi s shit. fuck you#i hate it here i really do. i hate when these people talk to me i hate them. i at least can be sorta accquaitances with one but they just.#all stare and laugh? i actually can't. like i'm some fucking clown and laughing stock. just kill me at this point. i have been enduring this#for YEARS and suddenly i'm being a little bitch about it?? what the fuck. why am i so mushy all of a sudden. being shown an ounce of respect#and care made me expect it more? fuck#i'm just setting myself up for failure. i am just a giant loser and failure of a person.#everything seems so fucking hard. and pointless. i am tearing my rotten little heart apart with this. i am once again grieving things#long ago and things i never had. my everything has to be pleasing to an outsider#my value is my suffering. am i breaking enough? is this beautiful to look at#at my self destruction? i hate myself. i treat others so cruelly. i am a horrible fucking person.#my problems are not their burden - i forced it on them. wept like a baby because she left me. and what happened in the end? my paranoia got#to me. i left them. i fucking. i fid the thing i was afraid of being done to me.#this is showing so many issues.#so many things wrong with me. i shouldn't even be alive by this point - i wasn't supposed to survive past 12#i am being forced to do this every day. someone please just end my fu king suffering
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Then it was Lleu and I, alone, locked together in silent, furious intensity. The old bitter resentment raged through me. I was stronger and taller and more experienced than Lleu, and I knew I could not win. […] When Lleu at last twisted in underneath my guard and pressed the wooden blade against my throat, I could not bear to prolong this competition. I knelt before him in formal surrender, as before a judge or an executioner, with head bowed and neck bared. […] Such a performance, both of us so calm and polite! But his hands trembled, the black hair he pushed back from his forehead was damp, and his face was wan. It had been something more than a game” (62-63)
what was it, Medraut? What was it!
#could you imagine watching this? like Goewin was just sitting there like I should not be watching this it's too intimate...#my post#the winter prince#also he recreates this with the icicle at the end of the book...here a wooded sword there an icicle... im losing my mind!!!!
4 notes
·
View notes