#and im not even talking about bts
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God the more i try to stick around 911twt the more i hate it.
That platform was NOT made for fandom and I will die on that hill.
#leon rambles#and im not even talking about bts#since i can judt block those#buddietwt has some of the most annoying people ive ever had the displeasure of sharing an interest with#there is a huge lack of fandom etiquette there that it’s driving me#crazy#the fact that i have to witness people shitting on fic writers daily#like no fam#fic writers aren’t writing for you#they’re writing fir themselves and sharing that stuff for FREE for likeminded people#you can just move on when yiu see a tag you don’t like#this is such common knowledge in fandom and it’s driving me crazy that i see people being shit about this daily
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LOOK WHAT CAME IN!!!!!!
I took these just cause I'm so excited about it!!! but I figured other people might want to read it too :) (I know Fangoria hasn't released it in the archives yet) so enjoy! and I'm sorry about the glare ;_;
#it came in 3 weeks early im so excited#havent even taken my work uniform off yet and i already read it#arahsjsiabsshsns#its so good#it came out Sept 2004- a month before Saw's release- so it's James and Leigh talking about meeting and behind the scenes of production#i want to roll this up and chew on it oh my goddddddd#saw 2004#fangoria 236#james wan#leigh whannell#saw bts#shawnee smith
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DAY 200: SOPECHWITA
#sope#jhope#SUGA#Jung Hoseok#Min Yoongi#Suchwita#BTS#방탄소년단#sketchbook#hoseok roulette art challenge#im laughing they didn't even talk about huh but i felt it was appropriate w the faces they were making jdgfkn#my gOD I LOVE THEM#I needed this
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this is the worst thing thats ever happened for me
(for context the pic on the top left, and other image in this post, is a pic of mine and i came across a twitter post including it when i was looking to see if any of my personal screenshots had been reposted elsewhere because. idk i was curious)
#im being dramatic but what do you MEAN a random ass twitter post with 90k impressions is using a screenshot of mine.#like this is so weird to me#the thought of people outside of my small fandom space and my mutuals seeing shit i post is so scary#like i know it just happens. i feel like im a little kid finding out about the internet for the first time by saying this#but still its so weird..#its just a gane screenshot. its not like my home address is on twitter dot com#but still. i just posted that shit to pinterest like 9 months ago to try and get more people to appreciate style savvy#i talked abt this on discord aswell. like being perceived bt people im not close with is my biggest fear#even if its just a twitter account using a pic from my nsb save file#style boutique#style savvy
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it’s tough be a top masc in an x fem!reader, tw daddy kink, manhandling, kitten, choking world
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i need to fuckign explode
#i need to talk tohim i need to talk to him i need to talk to him i need to tlak to him but i caaaaaaaaaaaaaaant bc im too scared of that lol#it was on my mind two months ago it was on my mind a month ago and its on my mind now and it is driving me insane#bjt k dont want to say what it is because thats a can of worms of potential for people to Know i dont want#so glad the guy in question is locked out of tumblr and the other guy involved barely looks at tumblr#only fucking place i can get this thought out even vaguely#i need to talk to both of them bt i cant because i feel like i will die trying to. heart attack on the spot#as much as i dont want him to i hope he gets a notif for this and asks me sbout it#even though theres no way hed knownim specificslly talking abt him#bc at leas that way it spares me the fucking nightmare kf bringing it up to someone#and its like. objectively not s problem#if i just used my words and talked it out it would be done so fast.but the problem is even though i talk to both of them so much#the thought of talking to them abt this specific thing scares me so bad that#i think if i sent a text about it i would close discord snd not open it for 2 years#sighghhggggghhghgghhhggh ive been rlly good abt not venting on tumblr lately bc i didnt like doing it in the first plsce but#there is literally nowhere else for me to complain about this in a spacethat i am comfortable complaining sbt it in#that does not include one of the affected guys#lycan howls
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u know whats terrifying. thay video of jk that made by his stalkers, that absolutely invading his privacy is being spreaded so freely
#like srsly? ive seen so many versions already#and noone absolutely noone tells to stop spreading it#i dont rlly care about cigs and staff but im what makes me cringe that this people following and secretly filming him#its even worse then paparazzi tbh#jungkook#bts#yulia talks
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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wait so jjk1 is literally just seven so far??? like there's no other song rn no definite plans for the album no overall artistic view??? or did I misunderstand what he said in suchwita when he said he hadn't really worked on anything else so far???
#cuz dude if the most hyped and anticipated bts solo debut ends up just being some random songs recorded left and right#well there's a joke in there#about the state of this industry this fandom and what they care about (spoiler alert: definitely not music)#i mean i just dont get it#it feels like he doesn't actually want to be making music???#and maybe he doesn't and that's fine he more than deserves to use this hiatus to rest#and figure himself out as a human being#but then why does he do it why would he half ass an album the creative process of which he doesn't seem to care enough to take part in#when his role model is supposed to be namjoon#i just.#at this point im not even mad anymore that he receives the most attention & success while doing much less than all of the other members#i just find it very depressing & discouraging as someone who got into bts bc of what they conveid through their art#like obviously im not in his head but either he doesn't actually care abt music which i still find doubtful#or he's burned out and is doing things bc he has to not bc he wants to#(which kind of feels like it to me. i mean he's definitely not talking abt it the way someone who's actually passionate abt their art would#BTS#jeon jungkook#jjk1
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i just want to mention this really fast, bcs i've been getting a lot of fic requests recently (i assume because i've been a lot more consistently active the past few weeks than i have been in about a year or two, tho i'm still a bit confused because my bio does still say that im on indefinite hiatus and u have to click past that to send me an ask😭 idk) but i still really have no significant plans to start writing fic again, possibly ever !? it's something that brought me a lot of joy, and i do love to write (i actually spent my senior year writing a whole entire play, that i then directed a performance of for a play festival in my country, as well as a bunch of other stuff including a piece for a magazine in my city😁 so ive been busy lol), but to be honest i had been getting really burned out for a long time, and then a bunch of things happened in my life and i just really didn't have time, and by the time i did have time anymore the inspiration for it was just gone😭. i'm still very proud of a lot of things that i wrote, and i actually went through my Ao3 profile like six or so months ago and took about 20 or so works out of the anonymous collection so that my name would be attached to those as well, so pretty much everything i wrote from 2020-2022 is still very much available and i have 0 intention of changing that. im soooooo forever grateful to all the people that were so lovely to me while i was building my skill during that time. i know fanfic is kinda silly as a concept but like. all that writing stuff IRL that i was just talking about ?? i NEVER would have had the confidence to do that without all the feedback i spent the years leading up to it receiving. love u all, and deepest apologies to the sweet people who are still trusting me with requests for the stories they want to read, but i really don't think i'm coming back to it anytime soon<3
#like for what it's worth i actually have been trying to come back to it#im on my gap year rn and i have just all the time in the world to write#so i tried to get back into READING fanfic first (also have rlly not done that since like feb 2022) because i figured in turn that would#inspire me because i always was writing the most at times when i was reading the most#i think maybe because i was writing what i wanted to see but could never find in a way that satisfied me#and honestly i just cant find the energy for that either#and not even in a like im depressed way just like in like a#sorry i havent been posting recently i started taking mood stablizers and idc about bts anymore type of way#ben talks#ben writes
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sometimes I remember how some individuals in the bts fanart community bullied me pretty intensely back on my bts twitter days.
(its been at least a few years now. I forget how long it's been) sometimes I still consider posting my screeenshot proofs of it and exposing them. but that was so long ago now, it's probably pointless. if they didn't stop, I was prepared to. but a friend I had at the time confronted them (after I told her not to) but it seemed to have helped and they and they didn't bother me after that. but I never got answers for why they were doing it
but it still pisses me off that they were "popular" and had a few thousand followers and everyone loved them and many other artists kissed their asses and tried to be part of their little popular clique (probably to feed off their popularity)
but for some reason when I was being genuine and wanted to be real friends and work on a collab for fun and was nothing but nice to everyone, I got bullied so bad that even other people in the collab pointed it out at first. i was blamed for it all even though it was obvious i did nothing wrong and they were the wrong ones. I even have screenshots to prove it. (I am missing some stuff, though, which is one reason I didn't post. I could have made them look so much worse if I managed to get everything haha but i didn't realize what was happening soon enough)
I was so confused. i'm STILL confused. was there a reason for the sudden bullying? or are they just nasty people that like to pick on small artists and get away with it because no one cares about me or will ever believe me? either way, I hope their art dreams never come true and they hurt their drawing hand many times.
some of the bts fanartists had such nasty attitudes and interacting with them made me wonder why people loved them so much. some artists acted so snobby, arrogant, and unfriendly.
some would whine and complain about wanting attention/friends/interactions but ignore me, act annoyed, not reciprocate. or tell me they don't want to talk, but then go right back to complaining they want friends and people to talk to a minute later. most wouldn't follow back if you weren't a big popular account or tell me they have ridiculous requirements I had to meet or they'd unfollow. but would always be begging for more mutuals.
some would post they're open to helping be a second pair of eyes to review your art, but only gave me destructive criticism and told me to "practice more so you can be as good as me" but they always ended up only being artists for 3-5 years vs my 20+ so they have nothing on me. I have practiced art longer than they've been alive!!!! but they still think they're superior and male it a competitive instead of actually being helpful like they claimed they wanted to be. I never got any real advice and they thought they had an attitude of being too good and perfect for me. sometimes I even got unsolicited destructive advice on art I was proud of and liked.
one annoying thing was many would whine about only getting a few thousand likes on their art and ask for more, or require me to interact with all their posts in order to be mutuals (I literally had one tell me they will be mutuals but if i dont interact with all their tweets daily they will unfollow) BUT THEY NEVER INTERACTED WITH A SINGLE ONE OF MY TWEETS. I had to give them all the attention, but they didn't give anything back in return at all. people like that are so gross and nasty, but they somehow tricked everyone into thinking they were so perfect and sweet and friendly.
and all these people didn't even have art that was that great. like it was kind of average imo, compared to other stuff i see. they started as smaller accounts that didn't have impressive art so I wanted to support them as they grew and got better. small artist solidarity. supporting newer artists who have 10-15 years less experience than me. but they all acted like such elitist snobs towards me.
and no matter how many times I post about it, no one ever confesses to experiencing the same treatment in the bts fanartist community!!!!! (or online art communities in general. i've never had any solidarity) makes me feel so shitty because I seem to be the only one that was treated horribly by other artists and bullied and unable to make many art friends/mutuals compared to the snobby shitheads that bullied me who somehow tricked everyone into loving them!! and all the people who supported them "the correct way" so they didn't get bullied and got to be added to the snobby elitist cliques.
still waiting for the day someone comes to me with stories of their own so I don't feel so alone 😅
to end this here's a reminder: art isnt a competition. we should all support each other and encourage each other and see each other as equals. share each other's art. boost each other up. work together. be friends. give constructive criticism only when asked, never destructive. don't act better than others. don't beg for attention and then refuse to give in return. a reblog/retweet/etc is very valuable even if you don't know how to share words. be kind and have fun!
#bts fanart#bangtan fanart#bts art#yes im tagging this shit. i really want to see if there's anyone else 😭 SHARE YOUR BTS FANARTIST HORROR STORIES WITH ME PLEASE#I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT TREATED BAD AND BULLIED RIGHT? RIGHT??????????????????#starting to think i am lmao#art problems#come to me and confess your secrets and drop some names if youre brave lmao#i can even share my details of my experience if you want to converse about it#sorry if this type of post is annoying. ill feel better if i get even a single person reaching out in solidarity#im too autistic for this shit and it makes me afraid to try reaching out to other artists....#im not in the bts fandom anymore but I'd still like to know if im truly alone or not#edit: i got no response on twitter when talking about it or here so i can only assume im the only one who experienced this :( this is so sa
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Actually Tumblr mutuals are the fruit of all existence because the ability to do deep-dives and analysis on interests you share is a love language only online friends can experience
#yes this is a callout post to @mixtapedohs#Olive I have been writing LETTERS and ESSAYS with you since the dawn of time#also shoutout how both of our interests and hyperfixations have changed with each other so even years later we're still poring over texts#and finding That One Thing that makes us go !!!! together#yes we've spent the last hour talking about bts and dissecting the spring day mv and the lyrics of save me/im fine#and the inherent genuineness and authenticity of bangtan#our fangirling? unparalleled
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I might just go on a huge tangent on here so I sincerely apologize, but I think this is something you've slightly touched on before, so maybe it's interesting to you? About the fact that literally Nobody on the staff/people who work behind the scenes of everything in the kpop industry are credited, mentioned or acknowledged for their work (other than, for example, the surface level “the designer deserves a raise!!!” that i so often see in mv comments :/). What I wanted to talk about specifically though is the company’s complete lack of crediting of these people?? I wanted to look into who directed this new mv that just dropped that I really liked the artistry, editing, and general composition of, but I found absolutely nothing across the group’s yt videos or their pages of who the director is, perhaps the set designer, editor, etc. Utterly taken aback, I checked the descriptions of other kpop music videos, from the most popular to more unknown groups (Twice, Dongkiz, to name a few), and again, nothing. I thought I was going insane, so I looked at mvs for like Amercian bands, and their video details are completely filled with the information of the producer, the recording studio, mixer, master, etc. etc, my point is: so much more than just the group’s twitter or merch page??? I’m like what is going on?? I noticed the kpop mv's only list licensing info at least, but so did the american ones? Idk. It’s either me not knowing where to look, or maybe I’m late to the fact that that is just how things work with kpop group companies or the industry as whole, just giving you no details as to who the hell else worked on this mv or song. I love my biases and appreciate their contributions, but I do not buy for a second that, more often than not, they wrote or produced or mixed absolutely nothing. I think it’s a huge shame that this is done because it reinforces the false idea that the idols are the ones responsible for everything we’re seeing and listening to. Maybe that’s the point, and that’s exactly what the industry wants you to believe, which that just makes it really sad. (Wait also maybe it all gets hidden because its work for hire or the companies buy ownership copyright...)
so i want to clarify some things for you, from the perspective of someone who works in the arts industry. firstly, and most importantly: visible credits exist in western filmic media because of unions. and there are still a LOT of fields that are not unionized. for thousands of years it was fundamentally understood that no performance based art form was done singularly by an individual, so there was often not a reason for there to be 'credits' in the first place. the whole assuming the face of the project is the person who did the most work thing? that's a very new phenomenon in the history of art, and it's capitalism's fault.
secondly: um. you are definitely not looking in the right places bc people are ABSOLUTELY credited? especially music production staff? i guess if you only look at a music video then sure yea there's not always credits there, but companies literally release tracklists and highlight medleys on their main social medias AS PROMOTION that have LISTS of their arrangers and composers. hell, tan's most recent tracklist has their fucking midi programmer on it????
also..............the fucking ALBUMS HAVE CREDITS IN THEM. i can't believe i have to say this but THE ALBUMS ARE THE MAIN PRODUCT AND THEY HAVE PAGES OF CREDITS IN THEM. i...????
like???
i got addy (@hoforwonho) to send these to me, these are from a lucy album and nayeon's album, and they literally have pages of credits???
lastly, and most importantly: the only people who are being 'fooled' into thinking that idols are 'producing' most of the content are western fans. because that is the stereotype promoted BY THE WESTERN MUSIC INDUSTRY. so that is the lens through which you view the korean music industry. koreans and korean fans are well aware that idols do not produce their own artistic content, there is quite literally a stigma around idols in sk about how they are not viewed as artists SPECIFICALLY because of this. gdragon and jonghyun were HUGE deals for being some of the first idol producers + songwriters. music is a huge part of the korean entertainment industry and people who make music are very much a visible part of it. kim eana is a very famous lyricist and she has a popular radio show. kbs just did a whole competition show featuring producers as the contestants. companies are not required to put credits in music videos because music videos are only one part of a kpop cb, and they are also not obligated to put those credits in english. just because you can't find something doesn't mean that it doesn't exist and the whole industry is at fault for it.
#listen. i'm sorry to say this but it's not the industry's fault that you don't read korean and don't know how to look something up#companies do not need to constantly post every single credit for everything on social media stop expecting stuff to be fed to you#kpop questions#also: most kpop fans genuinely do not give a shit about the credits. if someone wants to know#they will go looking in the most obvious places for them#also also: not having the credits plastered everywhere on social media is partially a protection mechanism!#kpop fans are known for fucking stalking and harassment are you kidding me#and there ARE kpop mvs with credits in the actual mvs? i can think of at least three from the last year off the top of my head???#and one of them IS a dkz mv??????????#answers#text#bts literally got popular bc they copied the western model of pretending that the art they produce is 'authentic' and self produced#that's why they blew up. i've talked about this several times#its the western model and western fans that are perpetuating this viewpoint.#also oh my god mama has a BUNCH of creative awards are you just fucking thick????#and i cant even believe im about to say this but. THE BIG FOUR COMPANIES ARE LITERALLY FOUNDED BY FUCKING SONGWRITERS AND PRODUCERS#YG LSM JYP BANG SIHYUK WERE ALL ARTISTS AT ONE POINT#OR STILL ACTIVELY ARE WORKING#...........i feel like i need to lay down#m8 how do you think i know who choreographers and producers are. of fucking course people are credited did you think i was guessing????
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me when i make a spreadsheet of every single bts song (from group albums) and assign each song a category based on theme/message and then calculate how many songs are in each category and what total percentage of bts songs each category makes up
#my autism levels are off the charts#fr though it was fun i actually did most of the categorizing a couple months ago i just finally got around to Calculating Stuff tonight#(while acknowledging that my categories are subjective and open to interpretation i did my best to reflect the essences of the songs)#anyway according to my calculations the top 3 categories/themes of bts songs are:#reflective/confessional at ~24%; love (romantic) at ~21%; love (general) at ~10%#that last category is for songs where the relationship to the subject is either not directly specified or is platonic#it does include some songs which are often interpreted through a romantic lens#but the lyrics don't directly reference romantic love and they could easily be applied to any type of close relationship#despite these songs commonly being known as romantic i have also seen many people talk about how#the lyrics of those songs reminded them not of a romantic partner but of a close friend or family member or even the love between bts+army#so i wanted a category for songs that acknowledge the intensity/importance of love that's not necessarily romantic#for me this whole thing really just hammered home the fact that categorizing and quantifying non-numerical data is really fucking hard#if anyone is as nerdy as i am and wants to hear more about this i will gladly provide btw im really nice#aeron.txt
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I keep running out of time and changing my sentences in the middle of saying them ajsusjdkdkdk aaggggggg i dont want to do the presentation on monday :(
#fucking up in front of +40 people brought to you by yours truly#im so scared!!!!!! i like my investigation bt i do not want people to ask me questions about my game!!!!#idk girl idk how im gonna make it#also while practising one of my family members decided to joke and ask if i had done the art with ai :) go fuck yourself :)#god this is gonna be such a mess. both the presentation and the game. why did i pursue higher education#haunted.txt#i should have asked a classmate to practice with me but i didnt wanna bother her...#i feel like all i do is bother people lately im having the shittiest time even managing to progress a little with the art for the game#why did i choose a game why did i explain it with a cool concept now im gonna have to make smth worth playing#which it wont because i talk a lot so its just a very short and tedious text game that no ones gonna enjoy aghhhhhh#my breakdowns count as method acting of the game characters lol we are all having a horrible time#also my professors keep not giving me revisions we on week 6 of being completely ignored#please for the love of god at least leave me an emoji saying you read my shit oh my god im going to snap
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Watching a video of an animation student in other country made me realize how fucking deficient my university is, por la gran puta...
#zagreus rambling#like. my degree is a double one so first half you're supposed to learn animation#the other half videogame development#wanna know why yall never see me do ANYTHING related to actual animation?#we didnt learn shit#the key classes for animations were NOTHING#they were either given by someone who DOES NOT work in animation or has a “similar” work#storyboard? given by a guy who doesnt work in animation#just gave us a wikipedia explanation all semester#animation workshop? one of the fucking few classes done by someone who knoes#only showed us pixar shorts and BTS's of said shorts#then wanted us to come up with our own storyboard and animatics#no explanations as HOW DO THEY FUCKING WORK IN THE ACTUAL INDUSTRY#I dont even wanna talk about stop motion#shit was a disaster#and by younger classmates I'm learning they are having it even worse than me#god Im so pissed#THIS IS THE ONLY UNIVERSITY THAT HOLDS THIS FUCKING DEGREE IN THE COUNTRY YOU WOULD EXPECT THEM TO IDK AT LEAST HAVE SOMETHING FOR US??#LIKE CONFERENXES WITH ANIMATORS AND BETTER EDUCATION OF ANIMATION??#si son de aqui de san salvador y alguna vez han ido a uno de esos eventos que hacen en el Ricaldone que los bichos hasta ponen sus cortos#esos majes de seguro recibieron MEJOR educacion que uno en la universidad en 5 años man#me emputa de plano. me emputa todo#ALSO “Digital Animation” WHY THE FUCK WERE WE LEARNING STOPMOTION
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