#and im here in my room all day i feel like shit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dmertens · 1 year ago

Text

im feeling such a loser

#i lost my job last week .... now ive been searching for some its been tough tho #i see people in my age studying ... complaining about their busy lifes #and im here in my room all day i feel like shit #i try to be resilient i consider myself resilient but its difficult #i try to not compare myself but comeon at some degree we do this... we all we just pretend we dont but we do #bye im gonna cry for a little bit #^ctext

5 notes · View notes

luck-of-the-drawings · 11 months ago

Text

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi prime defenders spoilers #jrwi pd spoilers #jrwi pd #william wisp #vyncent sol #THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it.#BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece #i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW)#that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that #if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles.#open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho #BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses...#lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH #FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE #i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony #recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day #ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw-#-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM-#-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS #its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not #well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i-#-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!!#i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i

331 notes · View notes

the-red-hoodlum · 1 month ago

Text

killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.

#MOTHERS FRIEND DOING THIS WITH OUR CAT RN IM PISSED.#SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE TOFU ANY TIME TO SNIFF OR ANYTHING??#Sigh.#tofu came downstairs to see what was up bc person was in the house #But person just immediately started petting her #even tho tofu was visibly uncomfortable and clearly just wanted a sniff test or sm #went to my room asap after that and tofu followed quick on my heels #obvs I let her sniff as much as she wants before petting her (if she even wants fuss) so she had a sniff and very much seemed to want fuss #so I gave her a few strokes and then sorta checked in and she swirled around and bumped her head into my hand (all the while her tail was #pointed straight up with the tip quivering a little every few moments - a sign of happiness/excitement to see a familiar person)#so we had cuddles for a bit until she hopped off my chest to go get water or sm :3 #BUT I DONT GET WHY MORE PEOPLE DONT HAVE SIMPLE WHOLESOME INTERACTION WITH THEIR CAT LIKE THIS??#LIKE. CATS ARE SENTIENT. THEY SEEK AUTONOMY - ESPECIALLY BODILY AUTONOMY. WHY TF WOULD YOU NOT LET THEM GIVE/DENY CONSENT??#like. if you aren’t willing to learn enough about an animal to understand when it’s unhappy at the very least *why* would you interact with #one?? (This person literally has a cat as well.)#idk man these are the same sorts of people that’d probably do the ‘awww just give me a hug! I’m your auntie(/whatever)! why can’t i have a #hug? 🥺’ sorta thing.. like. BRO. It isn’t my/the cat ‘s fucking job to regulate/look after your own grown ass feelings.#SIGH..#just. The fact this person has like.. met tofu once. Lived in the same house as her for maybe 4/5 days one time and thinks the cat is #obligated to put up with her or whatever.#(This is how I imagine people be acting around cats when they’re like ‘idk man cats just don’t like me! Cats are just independent by nature #I’m just stood there having to listen to them shit talk a whole species bc they don’t understand consent (or at least don’t universally #value it - eg; with children; with animals) ANYWAYS. CATS ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES WHO HAVE DEVELOPED TO LIVE CLOSELY WITH AND DEPEND ON HUMANS #THEYRE OFTEN VERY AFFECTIONATE AND LOVING AND FORM LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR HUMANS AND WILL MOURN THEIR DEATH PROBABLY MORE THAN #HALF OF THE HUMANS WHO ATTENDED THEIR FUNERAL.)#If tofu doesn’t like you I don’t like you mate. I am wholeheartedly willing to cut people off if they act wrong with my cat - like - BRO.#IVE KNOWN HER LONGER THAN I HAVE MOST OTHER PPL IN MY LIFE. SHES GOT ME THROUGH WORSE AND IS ALWAYS HAPPY N EXCITED TO SEE ME.#That cat has done more for me than you ever have! She loves me with her whole fucking soul and I her with mine. If she picks up the wrong #vibes from you/you break any of her clearly set boundaries we are DONE.#(Obvs /nbh - nobody here. & generally lighthearted but uhh yeah needed to rant abt this bc I care strongly abt it and other ppl should too)

14 notes · View notes

m4ggotm0ld · 9 months ago

Text

I fucking hate my parents so much

I hate how dismissive they are of my mental health issues

I hate how they act like I’m not depressed even though they were there when I was diagnosed

I hate how when they find out I cut myself they yell at me and talk about how much it’s hurting them instead of thinking about me

I hate how they never think about how I feel about something when they make a big decision that affects MY life

I them so fucking much

#I hate how they yell at me when I’m not all sunshine’s and rainbows after being around people all day without a break even though they know #Im an introvert who’s needs breaks #I hate how they yell at me for stimming #And make threats #like taking away my phone #And taking away literally everything in my room and saying I’ll sleep on the floor #and now it doesn’t even feel like home is much of a safe space anymore #like it was supposed to be a break from school #from everything shitting outside and now all I do here is cry and get yelled at #this could’ve been on the notes app instead of my tumblr account sorry about that

10 notes · View notes

widevibratobitch · 1 year ago

Text

my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant

#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're #*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :((((#no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying #in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3 #anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast #was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer #and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest.#earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went #*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫'#and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical #like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs #and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs #but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit #let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3 #and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down #the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me #if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like #the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures #like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh #like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall #not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me #trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :)))))))#like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks #But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333 #like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj #you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33 #but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday #but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!

21 notes · View notes

girlivealwaysbean · 19 days ago

Text

.

#bro why is everyone growing up and away and trying to figure out their lives and careers and loves #and im just sitting here missing them?#like sure im trying to figure out mine too we're all that age so I don't resent them for it #but why don't they miss me? why don't they feel empty when they haven't talked to me in a long time?#like. didn't they feel very light and happy after talking to me like i did with them don't they have a bad day and think that oh ill #talk to me and it will all feel okay even if it isn't just for a minute?#oh ny god i feel so pathetic asking this but like why am i suddenly crying now???#like my bestf. she's so busy in her new internship in mumbai that she can't be bothered to text me back #a simple yes no question for days. like i understand you have cool new office and work and friends and your stupid fucking ex #that you couldn't stop crying about to me living in that city with you but what about me? what about us?? what about you saying #that you're my first bestfriend i haven't told this to anyone else this is forever everyone else judges me but you're the best #like i just feel like if you're going to leave me then don't fucking say shit like that to me??#okay oh my god this is so irrational but i literally can't stop crying and it's definitely pms like i checked #she's not even leaving she's just suddenly busy and adjusting it's only been like a month #but i hate this stupid fucking knife like fear that as soon as someone is a little busy or seems like they're pulling away a little my #brain is like okay they hate me they're going to leave me so pack your bags we're leaving first #like i know a better solution would be to just tell her that hey dude i fucking miss you and i saw this show and remember how you used to #love peter kavinsky because he was adorable and i want to sit and watch it with you and just why aren't we back in school #where we are basically forced to hang out for like 7 hours because im so sick of only seeing you like once in 2 months for a few hours #like i know it's not your fault and we're just growing up and in different directions but just please like five more minutes can you stay #i don't even have the confidence to say anything to her lol she's my only friend like if even she gets mad and leaves #but i know that's not how healthy relationships work. and ugh my sister is so fucking far away i can feel it everyday #in the 5 and a half hour time difference. i hate this i hate everyone everyone has to go so far away #i hate living in this empty fucking house and being responsible for my own emotions fuck this isse accha toh living with dad hi hai #atleast when im there there are only 2 emotions anxiety and boredom. now i have a whole house to myself to cry whenever I need #for however long i need in a locked room. really looking forward to adulting haha i can see just see myself succeeding so well🙄#man this is crazy im gonna go do jumping jacks or something so this comes and goes faster #umm #dni

4 notes · View notes

maddogmp3 · 1 month ago

Text

sotd! i am never coming to my mom's for christmas ever again if i can help it. i hate it here

#sotd 2024 #i feel so unbelievably unwelcome. like not for lack of my mom trying.#but my mom 'trying' is also her going 'so i cant call you your chosen name.'#and 'there's going to be two screaming children arriving at an unknown time and staying for an unknown duration'#and also 'we rearranged your room while you were gone to put all the toddler shit in there'#like. what the fuck.#whatever... im doing the bare minimum amount of interaction #thankfully i have the excuse of 'im going to check on my cat in my room' to get me out of things #if she wasnt here i think i WOULD in fact be driving back home a day early. like get me out of here #Spotify

2 notes · View notes

phagodyke · 3 months ago

Text

aouuugh my uterus......

#long long day at work codeine wasnt helping with cramps and my meds are less effective on my period :(#ive been doing okay most of the day tho just starting feeling kind of miserable omw home bc such a long wait at the bus stop in pain #and im kind of lonely at the moment but wont be able to climb tomorrow bc of cramps so thats my main social source gone :(#and it always feels worse at home bc if im having a hard time like in physical pain or feeling down my roommate cant rly handle it #like she cant rly be in the room with me the headphones go straight on. which is ok im realising its just how her type of autism works #so im trying not to get as upset at her abt it. with varying degrees of success but it just takes time #i mean i dont get upset AT her like ik its not her fault and i dont want her feeling like it is. I keep it internal + cry once im alone #just different social needs n boundaries innit. we're a bit incompatible is all #but its still hard. I'd like support from other ppl when I'm struggling i mean i think thats a fairly normal thing to want #but of the friends I would be comfortable talking to abt how i feel none of them have that kind of emotional availability #which again is ok like its not on them. and im very capable of dealing w my shit myself one way or another so its not a Need #but idk. it would just be nice. I feel like I've had to be so independent most of my teenage and adult life and I wish I could take a #break from that sometimes. even just a hug would be nice man #sorry i always come on here and talk abt the same problems... well youll see me do it again no doubt abt that 🫠#ughh and i feel so guilty for wanting things ppl cant give even though i know its not really my fault either and im allowed to want things #and i dont cross boundaries or make them feel bad abt it. i really hope i dont anyway. but still ahhh...#its so hard for me to feel connected to anyone if they cant rly engage w me emotionally at all like its a non negotiable #factor into closeness and trust for me and i get so frustrated bc i feel so distant and alienated from the ppl i care abt most #and ik i overreact bc of my rsd so maybe its just that its probably not even a real issue. but its real to me bc im the one who gets upset #man. anyway its okay just a really really long day. im gonna wash my dishes and then shower #and finish my book. maybe i should play some dead cells i miss it. i dont really want to think abt how i feel anymore #maybe ill see if anyones free to hang out tmr evening so i dont have to feel as lonely even if i cant leave the house after work #all good nice to have a plan anyway. done sniffling. my hot water bottle is helping thr cramps a littlr i think #.diaries #oh i dont think its helping actually ow. i took more codeine an hour ago why doesnt it do anything. not fairrr 😭

2 notes · View notes

liazrad · 9 months ago

Text

GRRRRR I HATE IT HERE I HATE LIVING WITH MY DAD AND STEPMOM IT'S THE WORST!!!!! I AM FUCKING MISERABLE.

#weed screams #i just wanna snap and yell at them for traumatizing me. I'm so angry. I'm so pissed that I've had to deal with so much bullshit here #I've only been here a week after moving out of the apartment i shared with my brother and I'm already going insane again #i have to buy my own food despite there being plenty in the house. I'm not allowed to bring dishes to my room even for just a few minutes.#there's two large excitable not well trained dogs that bite and scratch me #the cats in the house have to hide in the basement all day (to avoid the dogs) and i feel so bad for them #i feel like im the only one who actually tries to relate to my stepsister. i feel bad knowing she has to stay here too.#my stepmom makes rules without TELLING ME. and then gets all bothered when i don't automatically pick up on em #and the wifi sucks shit so i can't play splatoon #i can't wait to move to New York i just have to wait a little bit longer #enduring the horrors once more till i can escape to the big city #this living situation is both infuriating and saddening. there is NO REASON to justify how stressful it is to be here.#like. when i moved out of this place the first time my mental health improved so suddenly my therapist said i didn't need to see him anymore #that's not a fucking coincidence. my stress and anxiety has a root source and it's this hellhole of a house.

2 notes · View notes

moafleco · 5 months ago

Text

i hate that duality that your mind can be your safe heaven that helps you get through some difficult things, keeps you going and brings you happiness at the worst of times. and at the very same time it could be your worst tormentor that won't let you rest and won't let you breathe, literally for no particular reason at all. and you can't leave or silence it. can't get it to stop when it gets dark in there. can't get the light in when you desperately need to feel a respite instead of suffocation.