#and im fucking pissed and sick of this and i dont want to have to remake the post just to have this thought be heard
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Average visit duration of Tumblr.com is 10 mins and 25 secs.
Text
every day im reminded that though my parents may have wanted a dog they clearly did not want to take care of a dog
#and i KNEW this which was why i insisted on not getting dogs though they keep trying to gaslight me#into thinking that i agreed on the dogs. i didnt and i wish id railed against it harder#because ill be honest i knew i didnt want to take care of a dog i wasnt in the headspace#but i also knew that if they got the dog that the actual caring duties would be foisted off to me#and the things that They would have to do ie go to the vet nd pay the bills etc theyd complain about and avoid#and thats one thjng. but oh my fucking god. my dad specifically#its like hes trying to get these dogs to die. we have several plants in the backyard#bad for dogs. i point them out. i have pointed them out Several times.#theyre his plants the gardens his thats none of my things. he just goes oh they wont get into them#THEYRE DOGS. but he doesnt want to move his fucking plants#one of the dogs is on medicine but has a habit of not eating his food in the morning#which means if u leave his medicine in hjs bowl the other dog might eat it#one solution is to give him the tablet straight. because hes good about eating it#he doesnt want to because 'thats gross'. Are you five fucking years old#the dog doesnt like the texture of dry food so another solution is to wet it#dad wont do that either because 'hes too spoiled' and 'it takes time' ONE MINUTE?????????#like i have to assume this is some kind of ploy to make me do it instead when i dont wake up that early#because if its not then hes truly just incompetent or doesnt care about the dogs#which brings me back to WHY DID YOU GET THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.#im sick of having to worry about them when he just does shit like this its wasting my time and its wasting money#but ohhhh we dont want to give the dogs away theyre part of the family 🥺#CLEARLY. because apparently u wanted kids but didnt want to take care of them either!!#im pissed off!!! im tired!!!!!!!!#i need to know im not going batshit here for being pissed off!!!!!#the dogs are getting back to back problems and at least some of it would have been mitigated by oh.#i dont know. the bare minimum?????#at least if the plants had been taken care of i wouldnt have to wonder if theyd just gotten into them#or if its an actual problem like a mass or bite. but no now i dont know#and at this rate were going to waste money going to the vet every fucking week
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
The lack of exclusively male reader fics in several fandoms is so depressing actually
#like.#its 80% fem reader 18% “gn but mostly reads fem reader” and 2% male reader#if even that#its probably more 1.5%#what the fuck!!!!#this is some bullshit#i dont want 2 hear “just write it yourself” either bc it shouldn't be so fucking difficult to find just one person who writes it#and im so so so fucking sick of “gn” fics that are HEAVILY fem reader coded#like some of y'all just write fem reader and change she/her to they/them for clicks and it pisses me off#i should be allowed to enjoy fics of my favorite characters too#y'all have no gd problem writing m/m fics of fictional men any other time but when it comes to male reader that's somehow impossible#auuuugh.#elliot rambles#mini rant#rant
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thank u brave soldiers in the oneyplays community for calling out sum of the crazy shit going on in oneyredacted. Lets try to SAVE these people 🙏🙏 praise the Lord
#maybe this will incite some guilt into these people's tortured souls idk#“its a fantasy!!” hey man we dont have to post everything. hey man? its not normal. bottom line#liking PISS is abnormal. wanting to overpower a real man without his consent is PSYCHOTIC#And you are fucking stupid as hell#say u dgaf all u want u little freaks i know it eats u up inside. i know ur mind is so tormented by ur own sick thoughts and its eating u up#i know it u know it but ur so delusioned u dont wanna admit it. jus wait. jus waitttt bro#im praying for ur recovery??? like please go do smthn else man get ts out of ur dome. u got potential maybe. for Something
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?
#txt#audhd tag#just venting a little#its crazy because ppl around me are like I understand your limitations However why dont you-#So you dont understand my limitations?#like okay yeah i understand that it must be Weird for people that are not Inside my brain and hard to understand that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT>#do things that they dont even think about. alright! but to sit and tell me Yeah we get it! but then try to either fix it or >#> come up w a New Incredible Way To Fix Me as if half of what i talk abt w my therapist isnt Exactly This#like yeah i dont fucking like it either. i wish i could do shit like other ppl do. i wish i could remember things.#i wish i didnt feel exhausted all the time i wish simply leaving my bed wasnt the most difficult task every single morning#but it pisses me OFF when people try to talk me through these Limitations i have that They Understand<3 like. can you be accommodating or no#one of my closest friends and oldest friends since i was like 5 had her bday on friday and she ljterally messaged me like#Hi we r having something w my family but theyre rly loud and extremist on the right wing side and i barely wanna be here u dont have 2 come>#> but i wanted to invite u anyway so u dont think ur being left out! and i was like Yayy nice thank u bc lbr i probably wouldnt go anyway.#and she KNOWS that. and she literally was talking to me like she alwahs does and That felt accommodating and understanding and i felt loved#cut to my mom last night trying to make me feel guilty for not going because Shes my friend and i should have gone anyway.#i told her off and she backtracked but thats still innmy head like. that shit is so irritating#okay sorry vent over im just aboht to get my period so this is making me sick#want to yell into the void and forget about it. Hits post
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hold so much more anger than anyone around me realizes
#like id beat my father to death with my bare hands if given the chance#and all those men for what they did to me#im so sick of ppl saying i need to forgive people who are not and never will be sorry. why should it be on ME to be the 'bigger person'#I WAS FOUR YEARS OLD WHEN IT STARTED.#im angry i never got to be a child and now its too late. now im 22 and just as fucked up as i was when it was still happening#i do not consider myself a violent person but thinking of what my abusers did all the time makes me so fucking mad#how can you do those things to a child & live with yourself. i dont fucking get it#i dont need to forgive ANYONE if i dont want to. the ppl telling me that dont even know All of what happened to begin with.#milo murmurs#csa vent#tw csa vent#csa tw#add that to being easily irritated due to ptsd and weve got a lovely mess here lol#im so tired of feeling like shit all the time but idk how not to rn#also. OBVIOUSLY i do not desire to commit murder. im just sad & pissed off that they got away w everything & i have to deal w it
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
ai starbucks on doordash its so fucking over. if any company can afford to hire a photographer to take a picture of some cups sitting in water it is fucking starbucks ARE YOU KIDDING like are you joking. bye
#absolutely fucking pathetic#not like anybodys supporting starbucks anyways but. oh my god this made me so fucking angry#‘generative ai is revolutionary new technology’ WOW it has generated an image we couldve never possibly done with human hands#how else. could we get this picture of 3 cups sitting in water with some berries. this is the forefront of innovation guys#what a feat for humanity#shut the fuck up its only revolutionary for helping billionaires save a couple bucks im gonna fucking kill you#also saw the google ai thing for myself for the first time today. i cant fucking take it anymore#shut the fuck up about ai i hate it i dont want i i dont want it FUCK OFF I HATE THIS SHIT#GOD#i am not reading ur fuckass ai summary im not buying ur fuckass ai product just kill yourself man#im so. fucking sick of this bro#x#and while im at it. pisses me off that ai wouldnt fucking exist without us#without our entire lifes fucking work making up data sets#the disrepect to artists makes me want to burn the world down. you would have NOTHING without us. and you dont even realize#ur stupid fucking generative ai gets to reap all of our hard work and we get NONE of the benefits#only ones who fucking benefit from this are the billionaire ceos they should all kill themselves
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
like i genuinely cannot believe thegall that she has quinn saying that oh they loved being servants... really??
[ID: Text reading:
"“I let them go into the front parlor together, and then I went into the kitchen for lunch, where Jasmine was just telling Big Ramona that they were rich. I hated to break up their happiness with my glum looks and I blamed it all on hunger. Besides, Jasmine had always been rich and so was Big Ramona. They just never wanted to leave Blackwood Manor, everybody knew."/end ID]
#twist rambles#vc posting#sorry im so fucking sick of it. 1. set in 1990. 2. she does this w like quite literally EVERY slave character (of which most are barely#prominent characters outside of her using antiblack stereotypes. as im sure u can imagine which one of those a character named big ramona#fits.) and 3. we are really supposed to be on quinns side after it seems he pressured jasmine into sex after using terms such as#“my chocolate candy” “cafe au laut” “milk chocolate” to her. like out loud. we are supposed to like this guy?? like her racism (annes) know#no bounds atp#ask to tag#yeah haha the servants loveee being here lol they dont even need to be paid ^_^ theyre just that rich bc we are some of the GOOD ones. jesu#and this has been going on since the start of the book and just keeps on coming over and over#like not even to get into how all of these esrvants are objectified and jasmine esp is just reduced to a sex object. but the seconddd quinn#sees a white lady hes literally proposing. but jasmine isnt good enough for that in the narratives portrayal of her. its all fucking vile.#i dont want to hear ANYONE say she didnt have horrific handling of race when all this happens in this book and last book had mar.ius#referring to an indian man like he was an animal and had no human qualities. like genuinely i do not think ppl know how bad it is bc most#ppl stop after the first 3 books. and for good reason. anyways good god im so pissed off. my beautiful lj buddy had about 3 paragraphs on#the insane classism she demonstrated last chapter and it rly just keeps continuing to this chapter. like im sorry idc abt how rich quinn is#i need him dead. for many reasons. anyways good god. this book is hell.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
im so jealous of cis guys. being able to grow up how they want and being confident in themselves and just. im so fuckin jealous. it is so hard. SO hard. to feel comfortable with someone else in a relationship when im not comfortable with myself. i hate it.
#i know this is stupid#im supposed to be proud of being trans and love myself no matter what and be proud of my identity but#fuck man sometimes id just give anything to be cis#like this shit sucks#i dont wanna fuckin do this anymore im tired of it#'nick ur only 18' YEAH I KNOW AND ITS STILL BAD#god im pissed off#i just. i hate that i cant be proud of who i am bc im not someone else.#im losing my mind i think#i wish i was cis so fuckin bad u guys. i wanna have the experiences of growing up as a boy that i missed out on.#i wish i couldve went to school dances in a suit and not had to worry about being stared at#i wish i could dress how i wanted and present myself how i feel comfortable without hearing those goddamn whispers behind my back#im sick and fuckin tired of it#anyway <3 im done <3 im gonna go watch youtube and pretend like i dont exist <3#vent#dysphoria mention
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
I either gotta set some boundaries (unlikely) or gtfo of here. I don't want to hear about how you're exercising or how scary eating out is or see fresh sh or
#it just pisses me off!! but then I feel bad because ive done my own shit while being here#look at the pot calling the kettle black#it shouldnt be my job to hold everyone accountable when holding myself accountable is hard enough#it makes me sad when my friends are struggling but i also. dont have the capacity to constantly be hearing about how you want your bx back#i feel like so many pll i know from treatment are deeply suicidal or entrenched in their eds or both and i feel bad and i want them to be ok#but i also want to be ok.#i am doing the things right now because no one is coming to rescue me and i want a better life for myself and there are things i want to do#that dont involve my stupid mental illness brain.#but that doesnt mean its fucking easy.#but i also cant hold everyone to the standard of mo bx.#this literally happens every time im in treatment esp towards the end like i get so sick of the constant bx talk that being here becomes#unhelpful more than anything else. but then i leave and relapse so like.#ugh whatever.#cw// ed
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh wow just saw flatmate messaged saying another friend passed smth on like oh okay. I didn't realise he went too u didn't say. in fact none of u said anything to me so that's great
#he lives hours away thats a lot of travel just for drinks#when she asked me she said it was her + one other person. going out for drinks in evening.#but clearly she took the day off work bc ghosts dont do laundry. so it was a whole day trip. so why tell me it was just drinks#unless she just wanted a good excuse for me not to come. okay 👍#i cant even make myself mad abt it like fair enough man. i get it.#and if last weekend is anything to go off she probably wont ask me at all in the future#well as long as they have fun it doesnt matter i guess. im tired of feeling like im just intruding in everyones lives#and everyone fucking lying like what u say doesnt line up with how u act i can tell its not real im not that fucking stupid#ive dealt with this so many times before average autistic experience im tired of naively believing ppl and then the rug being pulled#sorry for being the way i am and for wanting things and for trying to take up space i give up its not worth it anyway#at least this is giving me smth to feel shit abt instead of just formless malaise. makes it easier to deal with that way#anyway. just need to get my shit enough together to leave the house by 3 so i can pick up this stuff for work#and i can do most of my other chores tmr so thats fine#i hate how much fucking time i waste feeling awful. no wonder other ppl have time to watch n read n create n whatever so much more than me#half of my fucking life is spent in my head trying and failing to emotionally regulate im so so sick of it#i wish i never had to think a single thought again and maybe id be happy#jesus fucking christ. well i need to leave my room soon bc i need to pee im not depressed enough to piss in a bucket just yet#hope i never get to that stage again amen uni was pretty fucking dire#.vent#hate weekends so fucking much what a waste of free time
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wow...
#had a massive emotional drop and have been like this since i got to work#i think the gravity of my situation gss finally hit#i dont kniw what to do i need to be able to drive#but ypu know what else?#i wish my brother would fucking liaten to mw just ONCE#this would not be auch a fucking problem for me if wed move closer like i wanted to#but he didnt want to be jothered bc he felt like it was a downgrade#now were stuck and i have to figure out how to make a 30 min by car commute by bus bc i DO NOT want to srive the jeep#why am i always just ignored in these fucking situations?#why cant shit be made ro accomodate me for once?#like i know we had to make sacrifices bc i do not make a lot of money and he has to take the brunt of the bills but if we had moved to#someplace cheaper and CLOSER we wouldnt have so much of a burdern#we could have had a fucking trailer in GA but nooooo he didnt want that#we could have been stacking cash but hes so fucking concerned with appearances or whatever the fuxk it is that were stuxk in this situation#im so fuvking pissed off right now at so many things i feel sick#theres too many people im this fuvking store and it aggrivates me
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.
#• luna lavinchi speaking •#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#complex ptsd#diet culture trauma#monsters inside me#toxic health culture#ex vegitarian/vegan#emotional flashbacks#health documentaries#dark side of veganism#i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not#-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years-#-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the#-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say.#I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks-#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-#-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am-#-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this.#(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you)#tw food talk#tw diet culture#tw vent in tags#(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much)#(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me-#-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an-#-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.-#-therapist W)
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
spiraling is so wild first im pissed that my drawing didnt look good now i dont think ill ever forgive my family for their treatment of me
#im sick of being babied because theres a man whos taller than me 🙂#'ooohfhgf yr so little im sorry about how you dont know anything 🥺🥺'#< talking to a 5'7 person who swims at least twice a week has a 3.97 gpa and calls my grandparents more than my parents do#if i try to make jokes to not just fucking PISS EVERYONE OFF they think ohh so silly woman. never had an opinion 🙂#nothing i say is ever serious dont even FUCKING worry 👍👍#its fucking pathetic. at my brothers age i was like i can relate to this scary character haha#cue my mother swooping in to be like noo this isnt you#AND HE FUCKING SENDS SOMEBODY TO THE HOSPITAL IN HOCKEY. BUT ITS FINE BECAUSE HE PLAYS BETTER HOCKEY THAN ME#all you have to do here is be strong. physically not mentally because knowing you have undiagnosed adhd for#a literal third of yr life doesnt count. BUT if yr shoulders are too big for the prom dress that they think you want to wear its also over#and my brother is so butthurt from also growing up in this wack ass situation that he wont let me have ANYTHING.#sorry that you dont think i can read a map or whatever the fuck#sorry that you THINK you make more money than me at yr silly sports job#WHEN IM TRAINED TO HOLD 150 POUNDS TREADING WATER. sorry i got illegally scheduled and it gave me heat cramps#silly me.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
just had my dad admit to me that even though he's fully aware of how much his alcoholism hurts me and my mum and brother he refuses to quit drinking outright because he likes it. cool
#im so sick of this shit. cant wait to move out#his current method if youre interested is to only drink wine after dinner. so that hes not pissed drunk at the dinner table#note: he can still drink as much beer as he wants. and still drinks all that wine after dinner anyway. and has a success rate of very bad#this is harm reduction. apparently#AND he has the fucking gall to complain that we dont give him any positive reinforcement when he succeeds!! fuck offfff#i try to be graceful and forgiving. addiction recovery isnt linear. and at least he admits its an addiction now#and he has chronic back pain and childhood trauma and whatnot. but given that he has that back pain because he stormed out in a drunken huf#then shat himself wandered into the shower to clean off and then slipped and broke his ribs. i find it. a little hard. to be sympathetic.#the complete dismissal of the success stories from recovering alcoholics going teetotal as fucking AA propaganda also doesnt help. lol.#but yeah. point is: he values being allowed to drink more than he values us and keeping himself from hurting us#there you have it. in black and white#personal#delete later#apologies for oversharing. needed to get this all out#i gotta get the fuck outta here man. i feel numb to everything#anyhoo. if you read this far kudos. thanks for lookin out or whatever <3
4 notes
·
View notes