#and im constantly worried
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Tonight I learned that my 20 yr old partner has never played chess and doesn't know how to play chess. This is mind boggling to me. They claim its not weird for people to not know anything about chess so I. I need to see. Please.
Okay so, I made a mistake in not elaborating the meaning of the options. You do not have to be good or know what you are doing in the slightest to pick that you have played before. The middle three options are for your understanding of the game having never played it at all. The reason there's a percentage on the last option is because my partner made a tumblr so they could pick it because they think they are hilarious.
#crab says words#chess#tumblr polls#i learned how to play in elementary school and so did all my siblings#i use to play chess with random people constantly in highschool#im really bad at chess but its still fun to play ya know#i just am so shocked they literally knew nothing other than “the horses can move in an L shape”#i taught them how to play and made then play with me so dont worry i fixed the situation 😌#pls reblog this 🥺#i take it back!! my notifications will never recover!!! pls stop reblogging this!!!!!!
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Who's the "real" me?
+ some references for the Rise-related things I included <3
#im reaaaally happy with this one hehe i had fun putting the stuff from different things shes had/worn#i feel like ppl overlook the massive identity crisis & the accompanying depression & internal conflict rise is going through during the gam#like shes trying to figure out who she is seperate from her idol image (which she constantly still clings to despite her insistance that sh#s done with it bc she does still crave that recognition and attention she got from that position. she literally breaks down crying when her#manager tells her kanami has taken her acting role and is more-or-less set to take her spot now)#and then she also struggles with finding what she wants to do with herself now that she doesnt have showbiz to worry about#i think she kinda unintentionally uses the investigation as an anchor for her to hold onto#something to keep her busy in the absence of the hustling idol life#and then she also like. again she keeps clinging to the idol image and the associated bubbly-ness and bold flirtation#because thats the ''her'' ppl liked#i dont think the way she acts during the game is ENTIRELY an act theres definitely a lot of her true self in it too#but she does have a lot of moments where she leans more heavily into the bubbly & flirty cutie act#her sl shows that for all that she wanted to retire from showbiz she isnt really ready just yet#bc she did actually enjoy being an idol. she did enjoy being able to reach out to people in this way & to finally have ppl like & accept he#the problem is she doesnt know who ''she'' is at this point#im rambling but u get my point. yeah. yeah#rise..............#rise kujikawa#persona#persona 4#p4#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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i found a hatching brush finally yaaaaayyy also i turn 15 tomorrow
#digital art#ibispaint#fanart#genshin impact#genshin venti#venti#i constantly worry about not being “good enough” for my age#especially as i get older#now that im 15 i feel like i should've reached all the art goals i previously made#like being better at backgrounds#which you can see i attempted here#im pretty sure this is a universal experience so at least im not alone#sorry for the rant#but i know if i saw an artist that i liked voice their thoughts on this i might have felt better about it myself#so i hope this helps one of u#sending good vibes and peace and love mwaaahhh
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One of the earliest examples of Leo’s “I’ll do my own thing to accomplish our goal without discussing it with my team first” is in episode one. It’s super, super quick, and ultimately inconsequential, but it subtly sets up a great precedent that I think is very interesting.
When the boys need to grab the medallion from Splinter without Splinter noticing, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie huddle together with Raph taking the lead in trying to devise a plan to get the mystic device. Meanwhile, Leo slinks away and grabs the device by clocking the situation (by knowing his father well enough to predict his actions - something he does with each family member multiple times in the series) and making a move on his own.
It works out perfectly fine, and is ultimately the best move, and it’s honestly okay that he didn’t consult everyone for something so small when it’s such a non issue to get it, but it nicely sets up how this tends to go in the series, including how it goes in the movie.
To be honest episode one is actually really good at setting up a lot of things for each character in the long run, this is just one example that caught my attention, as small and unassuming as it is.
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#im just ranting at this point feel free to ignore me I’m tired lol#anyway#Leo constantly just goes off and does his own thing#and yeah honestly his own thing often works??? but he alienates his brothers/team in the process#BUT also this isn’t necessarily a one way street#when Leo DOES try to consult his brothers or give his thoughts on matters he’s not really taken seriously#best example here is bug busters where he CONSTANTLY makes his worries and suspicions known only to have them ignored#so it’s almost understandable that he doesn’t often open up about his thought process when it’s easier to just do it#than to try and fail to justify it#after all it almost always works out for him when he does so why not?#and then the movie happens#and that line of thinking doesn’t quite hold up does it?#BUT ON ANOTHER NOTE#like I said episode one is super good at setting characters up#from showing off Donnie’s preference for tech vs magic/mystic#from showing Mikey’s innate talent for mysticism#from showing Raph’s anxieties and how easily they can stack up#there’s more but I’d have to do a closer deep dive on the ep and man am I tired#so off the head rambles it is for now#sorry everyone for my constant spam of Too Many Words into things that are prob Not That Deep#it’s honestly just fun haha#EDIT: bc I saw someone mention it! yeah all the boys have communication issues through the series and it’s super interesting and realistic#Leo in particular stands out to me here because his communication issues are a constant theme that pop up much more often#but each of them experiences this in some form
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people talk a lot about utena and anthy's weird gay beds but i think there's something to the room itself too. because it isn't really much of a room at all. the giant window and the doorway to the main room of the tower that's barely covered by a see-through curtain leaves no room for privacy or even the simple feeling of safety and security that comes from being able to close a door to your own space. it specifically stood out to me when i was watching episode 32 yesterday with that scene at the beginning of the episode where utena gets up and stretches and anthy's voice immediately cuts in from the kitchen, where (more importantly) akio also is. because there is no seperation at all really between the rooms in that house. which i think is possibly symbolic of nobody being allowed to set any boundaries there either. that bed is where some of utena and anthy's most vulnerable and intimate moments happen, but they don't have a space that's truly theirs. it's all akio's. the panopticon....
#it stands out to me because im very particular about having my bedroom door closed#especially when i was a kid and especially when i was a teenager. but i still have that feeling now#that fear or worry that someone could constantly be looking over my shoulder#and i know that a lot of kids in abusive households experience that. not being allowed privacy. constantly being watched.#and also feeling like they're being watched even when they aren't.#revolutionary girl utena#utena#anthy#akio#m
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okay I DO NOT have the energy to draw atm so here's a general outline/ideas for the 30 years earlier au I posted about!
the main idea is that after the portal test incident, Fidds gets so desperate to stop Ford he ends up using the memory gun to erase the entire portal project from Ford's head, and destroys all the blueprints and stuff related to it.
This backfires because now Ford has no memory of the incident OR his confrontation with Bill. Bill convinces Ford that the reason Fidds erased his memories was out of jealousy.
Ford, spurred on by Bill and his newfound Rage at Fiddleford, finishes the portal by himself and turns it on. Bill comes out, and weirdmageddon starts.
Bill keeps Ford as a "pet" in the Fearamid, while he tries to convince Ford to join him fully. Ford is hesitant because he feels betrayed, just like in canon. Bill doesn't really mind, he's already won, he can wait a few decades for Ford to see reason.
Meanwhile, Stanley is just trying his best to fucking survive in the most fucked up apocalypse ever. He did not expect the end to world to have so many flying eyeballs.
When he finds out Ford is alive and is captured by Bill, his priorities shift from "survival" to "getting to my brother and saving him". How is Stan gonna do that? he doesn't know, but he's going to do it anyways.
#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#30 years earlier au#I might do more with this later but thats the general idea#just been real down so I havent had the energy to draw#but I do constantly obsess over these fuckers dont you worry#I have more ideas for after stan and ford unite but Im debating on if I want a happy ending or not lol
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anyway i want this gif seared on the inside of my brain and also under my eyelids so it's the first and last thing i see when i sleep and wake up and also when i think, which is not a lot of time but nonetheless
#this is a very natural and normal thing to want dont worry about it#im completely fine and there is nothing wrong with me#i think about these two constantly and coming on here has made this worse instead of better#the height difference has me on mY KneeS#she's not even tiny why does he look so enormous next to her#MASSIVE#her flowing hair#grace and STRENGTH#the sTanCes#this is some power couple bullshit im outta here#hate them#the rings of power#trop#lotr#lord of the rings#sauron x galadriel#galadriel x halbrand#saurondriel#haladriel
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god i know i said i was tired of making eveerything sad but just imagine timber those first few months of reconnecting and they're both drunk on tim's boat, laying on the deck staring up at the stars and bear turns over to look at tim, his eyes are sad and wet, and he reaches out to touch tim's face as if to make sure tim is really there and not an illusion and tim whispers, "bear?" and bernard smiles a little brokenly and goes, "so how long do i have you for this time?"
#tim fully sober now: what do you mean? i'm right here bear#bear still drunk: i got you for almost a whole year last time. how long before you leave this time?#bear: 2 years? 6 months?#tim sadly: you can have me forever bear#bear laughing: i don't even get you that long in my dreams#bear smiles reaching out to poke tim's face: don't worry tim! anytime you want to come back‚ i'll be right here.#god tim who's constantly leaving and bear who knows but cant help letting him comeback into his life again and again#you cannot tell me that bear went to that first date in urban legends expecting tim to stay#he went to that date expecting to get his heart broken again but he loves this boy so he goes anyway#tim who always leaves and bear who waits patiently everytime#sorry im like sobbing in the library#bear is so 'right where you left me' coded#bear who loves tim so much he'll let tim break his heart again and again#head in hands head in hands#dc#tim drake#bernard dowd#timbern#timber
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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i feel like i get literal psychic damage when i think about capitalism too long
#i’ve been trying to figure out how to describe it for awhile#started my second relisten of taz balance#and that’s probably why i finally was able to put it in words!#psychic damage#capitalism#planned obsolescence#the fact that it’s actively hostile to human life#blue rambles#corporate speak#which i do not understand how to formulate at all#i mean im sure i’ll learn i’ll have to#but i’ve loved working in small shops#the vibes are immaculate#we sells strange and fun things!#and they’re all good quality#no amazon bullshit#no worries about constantly getting things that are meant to break#sidebar that so many adults think showing positive emotions is like immature or something#pls show me ur alive!!#i hate that is ‘weird’ to be genuine#i hate that the norm is to kill your soul
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occasionally get hit by how much I love saga and casey’s relationship. casey being a part of the family, saga investigating on her own to find casey, them supporting each other even in the questionable reality around them, telling each other jokes the entire time, being in sync with their little coffee drinks. love them
#obviously they’re not without any challenges (that’d also be. boring) with casey hiding his sickness and sagas insecurity at being#a bad partner and friend. their worry the other might be targeted by the story and is caught up in everything#but their bond is so strong and refreshing#I just watched a horror movie with the typical asshole husband who doesn’t believe and support his wife#and my god it is a relief for saga and casey to actually agree something’s supernatural when nightingale first attacks#and have them communicate and be kind when talking to each other about believes#esp with saga being relatively (minus the Anderson bros etc.) alone in knowing Logan is alive and her life is what she remembers#alan wake 2#im CONSTANTLY a little sad that it’s not. guaranteed we’ll see them together again#at the very least I need saga in the next control game 😭 remedy PLS she’d get along with so many characters
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Im only on episode 12 (send help)
But I think is practically canon that laudna is very clingy so whenever imogen has a VERY close call (almost all the time) laudna gets worried and has to be at all times glued to imogen to remind herself that she's still alive
#also im phisically incapable of making laudna scary#i also like to think that she uses mending to repair imogen's glasses#then when laudna gets a close call imogen sees her in her nightmares#constantly sending thoughts to laudna asking if she's ok#or trying to tune off all the other thoughts and only listen to laudna's mind#so when this happens they end up shearching for eachother in the middle of the night because they are far too worried to sleep#and cuddle#cr3#critical role#critical role fanart#critical role campaign 3#fanart#bells hells#laudna#imogen temult#imogen x laudna#imodna#imogen makes up conspiracy theories jokingly (or maybe not) but fcg thinks she's being serious and you cant change my mind#and fearne only listens to them because she thinks its funny (and chaotic)#sorry for the tag spam#and sorry if it doesnt make sense#english is not my first language#ifosart
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chapter 8 literally has like 3-4 more paragraphs what am i doing... im sitting at my desk rereading this thing and just staring staring staring like. geniunely have slammed my desk a couple times like a little baby throwing a tantrum <3 <3
#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#sophie speaks#series:www#im getting it done before my birthday#which is in 6 days#im fucking GETTING IT DONE#or im gonna start hitting myself again#not in like an on purpose way btw its just gonna happen the autism demands it#thats probably not still reassuring dont worry guys i have. drugs. perscription ones#thats also not reassuring#anyway#every now and then i remember my life is so unlike the average persons and ive talked about something i definitely shouldnt have#but also isnt it like soooooooooooooooo annoying to have to constantly censor urself#like this is just my daily life its really not that huge a deal...#what was i talking about#right this is making me tear my hair out#biting biting biting i can get it i can do it i can i can i can#god i hate mental blocks its like a maze of them inside my brain and they pop up constantly#i will continue to torture myself gang i am GETTING IT DONE
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met a really cool queer stranger today that i thought was just so fucking neat i wanted to talk but if we were playing tennis they were, with the most gentle and earnest voice ive ever heard, shoving the tennis racket down my throat. every compliment or joke i made was turned away but in the sweetest way possible that made me sound like an absolute asshole lunatic. it was so scary.
#i tried so hard to be funny and nice but the way they replied to each thing i said made me feel like a scumbag LOL#ive never had that happen before. im very polite when i talk to strangers and i was being very polite then too!#i dont think they even saw it happening in realtime bc they were so calm and even keeled about it#but my god. still thinking about it. absolutely rattled me.#'ur so cool' 'oh its not the olympics. everyones cool. ur cool too' 'haha ur right yet ur still winning' 'hm. its not a competition.'#i was trying to make you laugh im sORRY i was being goofy when i said that i promise i did not say it straight#'you have so many cool tattoos' 'oh ive got a couple tattoo artist friends' 'oh thats so cool. maybe i could get a foot in the door'#like obviously as a joke but they replied gently 'you shouldnt seek friends out just to get something from them.'#NO I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY IT HAPPENS TO ME CONSTANTLY I KNOW TRUST ME#i panicked and was like 'oh haha no i wasnt serious dont worry. im an artist so i know the feeling.' but i guess it came across as like#yknow. bc they just went 'hm.' and pulled out their phone#FUMBLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so embarrassed#the worst part was id been talking to someone in the back who makes familiar plushies and shed set a few out#so i was talking to them while i was trying to pull up her insta to look up more info about one of the familiars#bc it looked SO FUCKING COOL and i stood there saying that to my husband right in front of them after this legendary fumble#finally pulled up the insta post for it and. they own that one. its theirs. they dressed it like that. i was so fucking embarrassed skdjfks#i wanted to look at the pricetag bc i assumed it was there bc she HADNT sold it yet#god. legendarily embarrassed.
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Mike's posting on Youtube now. If you're a Bendy fan very unhappy with the awful decisions he's been making recently or the way he spoke to his fans.... I would heavily consider making a somewhat civil comment about how fucking annoying his constant stubbornness to keep posting on social media no matter how fucking poorly it goes for him Every Time is, and how just because he's moved to a new platform we aren't going to stop criticizing his actions nor forget how awful he was on Twitter/X
Here's the comment I left, no I wasn't super kind because Mike is rich and a bigot, he'll be fine if I'm a little rough on him. Wonder how long he'll let it stay up lmao.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the dark revival#bendy and the ink machine#batim bendy#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#I am genuinely so tired of this man dear god#please discourage him from using social media in the comments its so tiring to constantly have to worry or hear about the stupid shit#he does and says constantly I was so relieved when he deleted his twitter cause it meant I no longer had to constantly read and then make#a post informing people on what stupid fucking things he said now#also I didnt bring it up in this comment but lmao lol to promise quality to his fans when the graphic novel literally has#coloring mistakes in it like it has multiple what a joke he is#somebody please point that out in the comments Im begging you guys-#ramblez#for the record I wouldnt consider this bullying bc mike is an asshole but also bc#using social media clearly upsets him greatly esp with how he speaks to people on it#its clearly bad for both his mental health and the mental health of the fans or in particular me#for the love of god tell him this is a bad idea
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Jake is really bad at restraining from kissing Michael.
Whether it be on the lips,cheek, head,wherever, he just love kissing Michael.
Michael likes to tease him sometimes about it and uses it to his advantage. Like withholding kisses until he gets healed or whatever when he's obviously ignoring his injuries. Having him work for one etc.
Jake pouts but he actually doesn't mind it, Michael isn't a touchy person, so anytime he let's Jake give him any form of affection is a win in his book.
Michael is a great kisser too,always gentle with it. Really for how much attitude and sass he gives in his daily life, he's still very gentle when it comes to affection.
It always makes Jake melt. Michael cups his face in his hands, his touch gentle and warm. His voice quiet when he tells Jake he loves him. In some ways it can feel like Michael is giving Jake the comfort to pull away if he wants to. As if he's still not sure Jake truly adores him like he says. Like he doesn't want to make him uncomfortable.
Of course Jake never pulls away unless he has to. He adore these moments. The times he manages to pull Michael away from work. To unwind and relax. He wraps his arms around Michael. He runs his hands through Michael's hair. He tells him so surely he loves him. That he can rest. He doesn't have to burn himself out to keep others warm.
Michael absolutely melts into Jake's arms, smiling into his kiss and leans into his touch.
Michael's love is a warmth that brushes against you yet is so noticeable to those who look for it. Jake's is a warmth that surrounds you,entirely wrapping around you. Letting you fall into it.
Michael loves like sunlight. Jake loves like fire
#mine#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#pain rambles#masonyew#jake mason/michael yew#jake mason#michael yew#im just hdydtf#thinking about them#apollo kids with lowest self esteem/worth#specifically when it comes to love#Michael constantly worried over jake getting uncomfortable or having changed his mind on Michael after getting with him#meanwhile Jake has full heart eyes looking at him.
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