#and ik val is dead

[veetowervaporwave]

This take might be scalding but I feel like Val has the most "tragic" backstory among the Vees, something about this bitch is screaming "perpetuating the cycle of abuse" at me.

[calicocatsarecute]

Hello again! Ik I already hav sent you a request, and you don't have to do this if you don't feel like it, but I had anidea and I thought I'd share it with you, since you are a lee!velvette fan!

So how abt when Val and Vox firstly adopted Velvette, she was being cheeky and a brat, so the to boys decided to teacher her a lesson by tickling her?

Again, you don't have to do it, especially since I already have sent you a request before!

N☁️ anon

Since I’ve gotten three requests for another lee! Velvette, I’m doing another one! This honestly makes me so happy because Velvette is one of my favorites and she needs more love! Anyways Enjoy!

__________________________________________

Vox and Valentino had just brought a new sinner into their group. She had recently just died and died very young. Her name was Velvette, and boy was she a handful.

“DAMNIT! You’re supposed to be MY models! You listen to ME!” Velvette was currently screaming at her models, for whatever reason.

The other two Vees were sitting in their lounge. They were unable to tune out the girl’s yelling, making them wonder how loud she was actually yelling. The yelling went on for what seemed like forever… until it finally came to a stop. After a while of the silence, Velvette had joined the two boys in the lounge.

“What was all that screaming about Velvette dear?” Valentino asked cocking his head a bit. They were both a bit concerned.

If looks could kill, Valentino would be double dead. They both jumped a bit when she slammed her phone on the table.

“THOSE SINNERS THAT I CALL WORKERS CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! THEY’RE LOUSY, LAZY AND DON’T FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS! I AM SOOO DONE WITH EVERYTHING!” Again, she was being overly dramatic.

She was, what some would call, a “brat” even. Vox was beginning to lose his temper. His screen was starting to heat up, and his eyes went crazy.

“Velvette calm down! This isn’t something to get worked up about.” Vox tried to reason with her, but it backfired terribly.

“CALM DOWN!?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME!? I’M NOT GONNA CALM DOWN!” Velvette pretty much screamed in the TV’s face.

“WHEN I TELL YOU TO CALM DOWN, YOU DO IT!” Vox lost it, he yelled back almost as loud.

“I DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT! YOU HEAR ME?!” Velvette said, her face going red.

“VELVETTE YOU ARE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME-?” Vox stopped mid-threat when the girl squeaked.

The room went dead silent as everyone stared at the girl. Box noticed his hands were cupping her ribs. He squeezed her ribs gently, his face lighting up when the girl jumped. Vox and Val looked at each other and smirked. Vox,bringing Velvette with him, sat down so they could get more comfortable.

Velvette’s head was already spinning, she knew what was about to happen.

“You wanna keep being a brat Velvette? We’ll treat like one.” Val said as he started scribbling against her sides.

“Pfftt, ahahaha! Dohohohon’t dohohoho thaha-Aha! Vohox! Nohohot yohou tohoho!” Velvette was already giggling out madly. She was deathly ticklish as a human, and still is as a sinner.

“Looks like someone’s ticklish!~” Vox teased the girl, while raking his claws up and down her ribs.

“Stahahahap! Bohohohoth ohohof yohou!”

“Aaww, but you’re just sooo cute and adorable! Our adorable little brat.” Valentino said, migrating to her stomach.

They knew that they had just hit a terrible spot when the girl started bucking.

“S-STAHAHAHAP! GEHEHET AHAHAWAHAY!” She was kicking her legs wildly around at this point.

“Come on Velvette, you can take a bit more of this. Right?” Vox asked, moving below her belly button to her lower stomach.

To say she went ballistic was an understatement.

“NAHAHAHAHAHAA! ST-AHAHAHAHAHAHA! NA-AHAHAHAHA!”

They were all taken aback by Velvette’s screams.

After a bit longer, the two boys stopped. They left the poor thing panting on the couch.

“You alright there dear?” Valentino asked, patting Velvette’s head.

The weak little nod showed that she was…ok.

Velvette ended up falling asleep on the couch, smooshed between the two men.

Vox and Val smiled at each other as they looked at their adoptive daughter, lovingly.

[yourtwistedlies]

❝ women’s hearts are lethal weapons ❞

val ! ✩ she/her ✩ minor ✩ jason grace’s gf (REAL) ✩ speak now obsessed ✩ gracie abrams lovebot ✩ summer baby ✩ certified procrastinator ✩ professional listener ✩ pathological people pleaser ✩ general amaya’s #1 fan ✩ fitz vacker defender ✩ honorary grammar police ✩ kpop stan (mostly ggs) ✩ my moots’ cheerleader ✩ under the illusion i can write ✩ somewhat smart ✩ cabin 13 girl ✩

dni: if you are racist, homophobic, xenophobic, support kill all ___, sexist, 18+ only, religiophobic, creepy, toxic, or literally just a jerk, please leave!

byi: i swear sometimes!! i also adore using cute nicknames and pet names for my moots!! if you don’t feel comfortable w/ that or anything else, please let me know <33

moots - wattpad - ao3 - carrd - follower event (coming soon ⁉️) - save the children!

•̩̩͙⁺ the basics ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

call me valerie/val or twisted!!

she/her, straight (heterosexual), minor (18+ only acc’s please do not follow), 18+ do not interact unless i interact first or we are moots (on my list or to be added- i am the judge of who is to be added), cancer (zodiac, but i don’t believe in them), Christian (i post about it sometimes), << summer baby, entp (mbti), 8w7 (enneagram), ambivert, slytherin, cabin 13, shade (guys i swear i wasn’t trying to be edgy or smth with the past two and this 😭😭 i took the official quizzes i promise lmao), swiftie, kpop fan, staying up writing until 4am gives me life, purple is the best color (this is not up to debate, only yellow even comes close), proud notes app writer, CATS > DOGS (occasionally my verdict changes), bunny lover, chronic platonic sofitzer, i’m either hyperactive or extremely tired (there is no in between), people say im smart, but sometimes i feel like the biggest idiot ever lmao, and ofc dex dizznee’s much needed publicist (my favorite role of mine ever)!!!

•̩̩͙⁺ music ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

taylor swift, olivia rodrigo, sza, conan gray, alicia keys, emei, gracie abrams, maisie peters, sabrina carpenter, laufey, queen riri (rihanna), adele, beabadoobee, tiffany day, le sserafim, ive, newjeans, itzy, nmixx, stay-c, aespa, everglow, txt (baby fan), illit ＆ more kpop, lizzy mcalpine, pheobe bridgers, nessa barrett, pinkpantheress, claire rosinkranz, lyn lapid, alessia cara, reneé rapp, mckenna grace, and more!!

as i hope you can tell, i like a lot of music :)

•̩̩͙⁺ books ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

pjo, hoo, (never read toa, but yes, ik what happens in tbm), the rrverse, kotlc, city spies, ss (spy school), alex rider (not done with rr), the academy for the unbreakable arts,

and my many other fandoms i’ve forgotten about (dead magisterium fandom oop-)

i’ll add more fandoms as i remember them lol

•̩̩͙⁺ ships ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

rayllum, clauderry (stfu they’re adorable), percabeth (otp energy), sokeefe, dexiana, tiana (yes i know im the most indecisive bitch ever shut up you toad /jjjj i actually love u platonically), jason grace x ME (/j but i do love him lol), and more!!

•̩̩͙⁺ blogs ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

side blog: @yourtangledpromises

taylor blog: @iknowplxces (guys this is so abandoned + has my old intro 🤮 ignore this js trust - august 15 2024 val)

and perhaps more?? (muahahaha)

•̩̩͙⁺ side note ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

if you’d like to be added to my moots list, or talk, please tell me (by wonder girls)!!

if we’re moots we’re actually bffs now (you just don’t notice it yet)

if i don’t respond to your ask/tag/rb/literally anything immediately i am not ignoring you!! i’m just lazy or busy and will do it later <33

im your biggest fan btw

1 Corinthians 16:14

with love,

valerie

[opening-file]

some AU shit

Proud Rebel.

Basically Vox opens the hotel, but instead of redeeming sinners, he helps people who are in an unfair deal, in a trade or in a 'Iroti'(I - rot - e , a deal that has been made about someone without their consent or knowledge, usually "ownership" deals, but not all are) some motivation to step up to break the unfair deal. [This is stupid yes IK]

Angel works for Vox as a hotel receptionist, and Velvette is basically in the role of Adam, wanting to kill Vox.

Alastor and Vox were modeling buds, but Vox left the industry, and now he's pissy.

Alao Val is dead :D

Some edited pics too plus some art cuz yes

[insomniac-jay]

Let’s talk about the hot mess that the Wilkins family is..

HO BOY ARE THEY A HOT MESS

If you thought the Batfam was messy, you have yet to see the dumpster fires that are the DC: South families (*ahem* the Judges *ahem*)

Siren aka Hosea Wilkins (Joey Wilson expy) is the eldest son. Val had way too much "fun" experimenting on Hosea that it resulted in him getting powers and being irreversibly traumatized. He has single father with two daughters energy.

Thorn and Dawn are both graduates of the Batman school of taking out your trauma on others via violence. Thorn takes off Val's whole hand, Dawn takes both his arm and leg and leaves him for dead. You can just feel nuclear levels of "I'm not okay" energy radiating off them.

Ik Val had children for the sole purpose of experimenting on them. He didn't even want kids until someone brought up how they could be used as test subjects.

[s4nnyside]

rgg infinite wealth spoilers ahead i got thoughts to spill (val this is a big spoiler landmine do not touch this post !!! 🫡🫡)

ive gotten very emotional during the watchthrough of this game (i couldnt buy it lololololoool)

kiryu getting cancer. just…of all things that he has went through. the close encounters with death with every game and he miraculously lives those. not to mention his terrible smoking habits (/j) and how he barely takes care of himself. and THIS is what gets him. granted you could say all of this snowballed and the whole radiation incident was the straw that broke the camel’s back but that really did shake me to my core to think that an illness was the one to finally straighten him up and make him appreciate the beauty of life

he feels more…lighthearted? esp with ichiban. he is comfortable around him and has a respect for.

but the one scene that got me tearing up was suiting up for the big battle. him standing over that sink and looking at himself in the mirror before he slicks back his hair. its almost a parallel of nishiki’s transformation; saying goodbye to the dead past self, and embracing someone new for a change.

the same way in the halo franchise john and master chief are two separate entities but can inhabit one body is the exact same way kazuma kiryu and the dragon of dojima are one person but certain not the same.

they were wrong: the dragon of dojima is the one that is truly dead, and kazuma kiryu is alive and well. that ending, as nerve wracking as it is that we never see him talk to haruka, is such a nice note to leave off of. he finally reclaimed his name. he finally reclaimed himself after all these years of running and like he said, “being someone [he isn’t].” even better, by choosing to admit himself to the hospital for treatment, he found the will to LIVE and continue on and not let a sickness take a hold of him.

ik some people have mixed feelings abt the game but i give this one a standing ovation

[portiaphan]

DV Characters as Things Hannibal Buress Has Said

Alex: "I'm a gangsta, and gangstas don't ask questions." Yes they do ask questions! I thought that was a main point of being a gangster. "Hey, mothafucka, where's my money?" That's a question. "Do you want to die tonight?" That's a question too. "What? What?" That's two questions.

Alva: Gibberish rap is - I freestyle all the time, just hangin' out with friends. And sometimes when I'm freestyling, I'll lose my flow, you know, but I'll still wanna - I don't wanna just stop rapping because I lose my flow. So I'll just put in nonsense words till I can bring in regular words again.

Brielle: I couldn't imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do when I'm not working? Mope?

Battista: I’m a dumb guy. My point of view is limited.

Bellamy: Why are you booing me? I'm right!

Beau: SIX PACK ABS! TEN PACK ABS! TWELVE PACK! What if I want an odd number of abs? What if I want a five pack to show people I'm still humble?

Bernadette: My other airport nemesis is airport security. I don't like them at all. They seem so dedicated to keeping bottled water out of the sky.

Calina: I acknowledge that I jaywalked, I apologize not for the act of jaywalking but how my jaywalking made you feel. I'll try not to jaywalk in the future while you're watching but trust that I'll do it for the rest of my life - it's the best way to go about being a pedestrian.

Castora: There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don't try to have a conversation with me like you don't have a handlebar mustache.

Catherine: He said, "Man, we are right by the Adige River. These buildings are 200-300 years old, they have rats everywhere. Even the five-star restaurants have rats!" Somehow he made me feel like the asshole for bringing up rats! I don't know what kind of jedi mind trick that was - it confused the hell out of me because I still ended up ordering food then.

Cyrus: So we talk for a little bit. She says stuff, I say stuff, she says stuff, I say stuff. You know how a conversation works.

Celeste: I get upset easily by people. I saw this guy- he was on the phone. He had the phone between the ear and shoulder like that, but he didn't have anything in his hands. Which is really upsetting! Who the hell do you think you are? This action for people that are multitasking. Where's your other task? You're not doing anything else.

Daphne: He'd be the worst real estate agent ever. "Right here we have a 34 bedroom house. Let me show you around the property. Great features to this place, some of the rooms have extra, smaller rooms in them."

Delilah: I was in Scotland for all of August and it was the darkest time of my life. Mostly 'cause they call cookies biscuits. I don't like that at all. It was an incredible culture shock for me, tough to adjust but I tried for a few weeks. Pass me the chocolate chip BISCUITS. Let's have biscuits and milk, everybody. I love Oreo biscuits. But, in the fourth week, I couldn't handle it no more. THOSE ARE COOKIES THOSE AREN'T BISCUITS. Those are cookies. Cookies are cookies and biscuits are biscuits. If you call cookies biscuits, what do you call biscuits 'cause I'm not saying scones.

Everett: I did not move to Verona with a plan. The first time I moved to Verona, I just popped up. My sister was living here in Verona. I just popped up. She had her baby and a husband, and I just popped up. "Hey, what's up? I got $200 and dreams. Let's do this."

Genevieve: I can't just look at a status and move along. I see a status got 36 'likes' — can't accept it got 36 'likes' and move along. I got to click on it and start reading the names of the people that liked it. "Oh, yeah. Jim would 'like' some shit like that."

Grace: Yo ma, money over everything.

Halcyon: Awe man, I gotta get a team. I don't have a team, I just have friends. I call up my friend, "Hey man, I know you're my friend but I need you on my team right now."

Hazel: You have a regular-sized tub and a miniature tub, the sink.

Henry: You never know what could happen when you go into a store - somebody might pull a Tonya Harding on you and break your knee cap. And now you got your knees all fucked up just ‘cause you wanted to get that vinyl.

Hugo: It sounds like God owed someone some money and they couldn’t get to him, so they murked his son. That’s what I really think happened. Jesus got stabbed up in an alley… but it’s easier to sell crucifixes. You can’t sell a pendant of someone getting shanked up in the alley. It’s a marketing scheme.

Ivan: Come to your place at 5:00 in the morning, eat your food, drink your drinks, leave at 6:30 without fucking like it’s cool. That’s a passive burglary.

Isabelle: Two separate charges $400 at Barnes and Noble. Who balls out of control at Barnes and Noble?

Juliana: Believe in yourself like one of those weird-ass clothing stores that only have six shirts in them. So many questions. How much do these shirts cost? How long have y'all been here? Why is there a DJ?

Katarina: Kill people, burn shit, fuck school, I hate spam emails! That's annoying! You think you have an email from a friend but it's spam.

Lucien: I believe in my ability to not spill food in my pants 'cause I'm a goddamn adult. And I've mastered the art of getting food from my plate to my mouth without messing up my jeans. You need to believe in yourself, too and get your life together, that's for babies. Have some confidence in your eating abilities and hand/eye coordination.

Lucrezia: I'VE ALREADY SEEN LIMITLESS.

Lillian: I'm not a club person, I'm more of a bar/lounge type of person. But, I'll go anywhere if you give me a free bottle of alcohol.

Mikael: I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon.

Matthias: It's a weird emotion when you're flattered and cynical at the same time. "Oh, that's nice that you would say that, but what the fuck are you up to?"

Marcelo: I just wear black and gray all the time. If you Google Image me, you'll just see a bunch of black and gray. It's simple. If I like a shirt, I'll buy six or eight of them, wear them back-to-back, and just wait for somebody to say something. "That's the same shirt you wore yesterday." "Yeah, but this one is fresh."

Maeve: When people go through something rough in life, they say, "I'm taking it one day at a time." Yes, so is everybody. Because that's how time works.

Nikolai: But this time, it was me and this old lady we were jaywalking together. We weren't together like that. But if we were, so what? Mind your business.

Odessa: It was a phone interview and sometimes when I do phone interviews and the journalist is boring, I just start saying crazy stuff to make it fun for me.

Olivio: There have been times I’ve been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, "Time to go home."

Orion: Don’t thank the lord. I gave you that compliment, thank me.

Priam: I lost my debit card recently, had five charges on it before I caught it. First charge, $30 Chuckee Cheese. Who goes to Chuckee Cheese as soon as they find a debit card? Are you serious?

Paola: I applied for a job at Starbucks. One of the questions was, 'Why do you want to work at Starbucks?' Uh, because my life is in shambles.

Pandora: I don't even know how to use a semicolon to this day, I use a comma every time. And you know what? If I email somebody and they get upset about me using a comma instead of a semicolon, that's not a person I want to work with anyway. And that's how you weed people out of your life.

Ramona: I went into this restaurant in Verona called The Two Gentlemen. Went into the bathroom at The Two Gentlemen, huuuuge rat in the bathroom at The Two Gentlemen and the rat looked at me like "the fuck you doing here?" That was his vibe, very negative vibe.

Rafaella: Sometimes I get drunk and I get into arguments with taxi drivers. And I get out the cab and I slam the door. That's not the way to win an argument with a taxi driver. The way to win is you get out of the cab and you leave the door open.

Regina: And that was the first time in my life, without any sarcasm, I could say, "What? You want a cookie or something?" Because any other time you say that, you being mean, but I meant it from my heart. "How many cookies you want, man? You want seven cookies? That's way too many cookies. You're being ridiculous right now. You can take, like, three or four cookies and get out of my face. Otherwise, you're taking advantage of my generosity."

Ronan: Wack.

Roman: In my hometown of Verona, I'm kind of a medium deal.

Theodora: We got interns at the job. You can just tell them to do stuff. You gotta be nice, though. I had this cat fax something. I handed him a couple of pages, and I handed him another page. I said, "Hey, man, fax something for yourself, too."

Tomas: Rap videos confuse me cause they have to be continued at the end but the never make a sequel. Where’s the second video? There’s so much suspense!

Trinity: I was at the airport and there was this kid, four or five years old walking with his mommy, fixed his fingers in a fake gun, and then took a shot at me. And I'm looking at the wall to see if there's something on the wall he could've been shooting at 'cause I'm in denial. I look back at him, he looks me in the eyes and takes too more shots. Now I'm hit three times, that's an act of aggression. I need to defend myself.

Valentina: Morpheus, Dorpheus, Orpheus, go eat some walruses. Orifices, porridges. Morpheus, Morpheus. Going to the Buffet and Walruses. Confidence, corpseses. Worcestershire sauce. Go into your orifices. Red pill, blue pill. Morpheus, walruses. Seashells by the seashorpheus. MORPHEUS DRINKING A FORTY IN THE DEATH BASKET.

Vivianne: "We'll keep you in our thoughts" With the other bullshit in your heads? No, keep me out of your thoughts, because I hear some of the stuff you talk about and if that's close to what you're thinking about, I don't want to be around that, so keep me and my family out of your thoughts, unless you're thinking of making me a sandwich.

[vxldemar]

How many toes do you think I have, Voldemort? I'll give you a hint, it's more than three ;)

“quaestor, and i am not partaking in your little foolish game.”

“the intricacies of your... unique anatomy, is not something i have time for.”

[somethinginthethunder]

name of a stranger [1] (camilo x reader)

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

kinda nervous about this so let me know your thoughts so ik whether to continue or not !!

summary: (y/n) and camilo share their bodies and lives with each other, trying to figure out how to navigate this new magical connection. but what happens when they've only got so little time left?

notes: this series is based off the movie 'your name'! it's very good so i suggest you go watch

the beginning of this doesn't really feature camilo but after the first half he'll show up. not in the way you think, though ;) and yes it's a romantic camilo fic, trust me!

and reader is gender neutral! if i make any mistake with that please lmk and i'll fix it.

warnings: bad writing lmaooo enjoy <3

—

“his name is camilo. he told me to give it to you. do you know him somehow?” your mother questioned, handing you a yellow pile of fabric.

letting it unfold you discover it’s a ruana with chameleons skillfully woven on it.

“no? thanks, though… i guess,” you say, more confused than anything else.

despite how nice you thought the clothing was, you put it away under your bed. it wasn’t exactly your style and the fact that it came from some boy that you didn’t know gave you a weird feeling. something, however, kept you from giving it away for a long time.

—

—

—

“(y/n), wake up! mami wants you to pick up your stuff before we leave,” you dear sister yelled, knocking on your door obnoxiously before opening it.

“valentina get out of my room, you rat!” you groan tiredly, throwing a pillow at the crack in the door.

“oh, so you’re normal, now?” she asks, putting a hand on her hip.

your sister tends to say a lot of dumb things, and you expected this to be no different.

“what the hell do you mean?”

“you were acting weird yesterday. actually, nevermind, you always act weird,” she hummed. turning in her place, she walked off into the hallway. “i guess if you’re not getting up then you’re letting me have your special markers for today!”

sitting up abruptly, you pulled off your blanket and scrambled to get your clothes on. there was no way you were going to let her touch your birthday present, her grubby little fingers would ruin them!

“val i swear you touch those markers and you’re dead!”

the idea that you had been acting weird yesterday didn’t really leave your mind. especially when your mother had something to say about it.

“you feeling better today, dear?” she asked as you walked into the kitchen, setting down a box of markers on the table.

“yeah? why are you guys being weird?”

instead of answering you in the way you had hoped, she just put on a small smile and gave you and your sister your lunch, murmuring quietly, “have a good day at school, kids.”

since she didn’t try and elaborate you told yourself it meant you shouldn’t care. and with that, you opened the door to leave with your sister.

the air was cold and almost suffocating. there were people everywhere, bumping into you at least once every five seconds. the walk was usually thirty minutes because of its distance but you had come to not mind it, instead taking it as an opportunity to daydream.

this city of yours was fine. your family was alright and your life was anything but terrible. this didn’t stop you from wishing, though, for some sort of change.

when you got to school your classmates had been giggling and pointing at you all day. leaning your head to the side you whisper to valentina, “why is everyone acting like that?”

your little sister scoffed, “what, do you have amnesia or something? you were being weird. you stared at yourself in the mirror for at least 10 minutes in the morning, acted nice to maria, forgot where your first class was, and told manuel to go screw himself!”

“what? no way!” you deny, sitting down at your desk.

maria, the rudest girl you’ve ever met didn’t even deserve a decent smile. and manuel? the guy you’ve had a crush on? you being rude to him? that was rich. you were sure now that there had to be some sort of prank going on.

you flipped to your most recent notes to see where you left off when something catches your eye: a simple phrase written in a handwriting that wasn’t yours.

‘who are you?’

—

the next day you woke up to the sound of your door being knocked on (again).

“stop it, valentina! i’m up, jeez,” you yell, your heart stopping when you hear your voice. was that you speaking?

“what the hell…” you whisper, the voice the same. it was your voice! but it was different.

“i don’t know who valentina is but camilo madrigal you better get up for your chores or abuela will be on you in a snap!” someone yelled.

abuela? your grandmother passed away two years ago. and who was that yelling at the door? wait a minute.

you sat up.

this wasn’t even your room!

it was way bigger than yours, chameleons placed around everywhere in subtle ways. across “your” bed was a mirror, and the face that stared back at you certainly wasn’t yours.

your normal hair had been traded in for a head of brown curls, your eyes big with surprise and face suddenly yours?

were your eyes tricking you or did you just turn back into yourself? was the boy you were before camilo? you had no clue what was going on.

“ay, i need an answer! get up this instant or-” a woman with light skin and reddish brown hair barged into the room. she already looked ready for the day, with a yellow hairband and dress to compliment her features. “hijo? are you okay? who did you transform into?”

the mention of the name of this boy allowed your body to turn back into him as you realized that woman was the mother of this person. coughing, you made up a lame excuse.

“nobody! i’m fine. lo siento, mami,” you stutter. “um… what are my chores for today?”

“what are your chores? you’ve been doing this for years, you should already know…." she paused. “are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

taking this as an opportunity to get out of doing some stranger’s chores, you shook your head.

“i’ll get julieta, okay? just get yourself dressed and we’ll see what's going on,” she continued, closing the door behind her as she yelled for said woman.

oh boy, you had a feeling you were in trouble.

[bignaz8]

October 26, 1881 — Possibly the most famous shootout in the history of America's Wild West took place on this day – the Gunfight at the OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona.

Historical synopsis and Filmography (for those interested in such historical events):

On the one side stood the so-called forces of law and order: Wyatt Earp, his brothers Virgil and Morgan, and Doc Holliday. By reputation these were power-hungry and ruthless men.

Opposing them were the outlaws Billy and Ike Clanton, Tom and Frank McLaury, and Billy Claiborne.

The Clantons and their ranch hands and associates were known as the "Cowboys", a gang numbering up to 300 members. They were rustlers and outlaws and the Clantons repeatedly threatened the Earps because they interfered with the Cowboys' illegal activities.

The Earp brothers held various law enforcement offices in and around Tombstone but were accused by their detractors of being just as guilty of rustling and stage robbery as the Clantons.

(John Henry) "Doc" Holliday, a dentist by trade, was a close friend of Wyatt Earp. A gambler and a gunfighter, Holliday had escaped a charge of murder in Dallas, Texas.

Wyatt (Berry Stapp) Earp was also a professional gambler, the owner of several saloons and a brothel-keeper. Once jailed for stealing a horse, he was one of five brothers, including Virgil who was a deputy US marshal and Tombstone's town marshal (police chief).

Virgil had spent three years fighting in the American Civil War and as a lawman in various towns, so he knew how to fight. By contrast, Wyatt had been involved in only one shootout and Morgan had never been in any gun battles.

So it was fitting that on the day of the OK Corral showdown, Wyatt and Morgan were simply temporary assistants to Virgil.

On the morning of October 25, Ike Clanton and Tom McLaury came into Tombstone for supplies. Over the next 24 hours, the two men had several violent run-ins with the Earps and Doc Holliday. The next day Ike’s brother Billy rode into town to join them, along with Frank McLaury and Billy Claiborne.

Around 3pm, the Earps and Holliday spotted the five members of the Clanton-McLaury gang near the OK Corral and closed in for a confrontation.

The famous gunfight that ensued lasted for just 30 seconds or so, when around 30 shots were fired. Most reports say that it began when Virgil Earp pulled out his revolver and shot Billy Clanton point-blank in the chest, while Doc Holliday fired a shotgun blast at Tom McLaury.

When the dust cleared, Billy Clanton and the McLaury brothers were dead, and Virgil and Morgan Earp and Doc Holliday were wounded. Ike Clanton and Claiborne had run away.

According to the Earps, the fight was in self-defence because the Cowboys, armed in violation of local ordinance, aggressively threatened the lawmen and defied a lawful order to hand over their weapons. The Cowboys maintained that they raised their hands, offering no resistance, and were shot in cold blood by the Earps.

Sorting out who was telling the truth was difficult and remains so to this day.

One thing is certain: Wyatt Earp emerged from the battle with legendary status, enhanced over the years by flattering newspaper reports, books and – later – movies.

These included John Ford's highly fictionalised version of events in the 1946 film, My Darling Clementine, starring Henry Fonda as Wyatt Earp.

Then in 1957 director John Sturges took dramatic licence with the confrontation in Gunfight at The OK Corral, having his stars Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas shoot it out for nearly six minutes. The action included spectacular footage of Lancaster firing his rifle as he leapt through the air.

Contemporary newspaper reports state that during the (actual) 30-second shootout, some members of the two opposing parties were initially only about six feet (1.8m) apart.

More recent movie depictions of the shootout include Tombstone in 1993 starring Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp and Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday.

The following year Kevin Kostner took the title role in the film, Wyatt Earp.

What Virgil would have thought about his brother receiving all this kudos can only be imagined.

[nevereacheaven]

If you insult Jack Kelly you insult me

[veetowervaporwave]

Man I am so vanilla when it comes to ships in Hazbin...

Staticmoth: The epitome of toxic old men yaoi. They're just the worst. They push each other's buttons. They both have obsessions on the side but both want to be each other's center of attention. Other people's suffering gets them horny. They got married three times and divorced five times. They know exactly how horrible the other one is but it only makes them more attracted to each other. They're so toxic it's a health hazard for everyone around them. I wish nothing more than for them to die horribly while holding hands.

Chaggie: I've been shipping them since the pilot and I'll be real they were everything I wanted and even more. I always knew that their relationship would be mostly background stuff since they're an established couple, and I was excited to have something where the main character is in a stable and affectionate relationship. I didn't expect them to get a whole little storyarc with the whole angel drama... I'm just. So happy. Seeing them, knowing how much they supported each other over the years when they had no one else on their side, openly working out their issues... They're just everything that's good in the world.

Huskerdust: I feel about it a bit more differently compared to the previous two. I'm happy to see them just do whatever, but Huskerdust stands out because its development is kind of... part of the plot of the show, rather than just being an extra layer to their characters. I'm not even interested in fanfiction for them because I'm too excited to see how it progresses in the actual show.

Radiorose: QPR goals. Alastor having someone he's so comfortable with honestly elevated his character for me. I don't have a lot to say but I enjoy seeing them together immensely.

Appledust: guilty pleasure comfort ship, refer to this post for more context.

Ships I like less under the cut, I try not to be too mean but still, be careful.

Radiostatic (Or, I guess, Onewaybroadcast, rather): I like it a lot but only when it caters to my superspecific tastes. First of all it needs to be one-sided. The second Alastor reciprocates I'm like *Lucifer voice* "Who is this? Who is this man?" Second of all the "hate" part of the "hateboner" is essential (unless we're talking before their falling out). Vox both wants Alastor and wants him dead. It's been swirling inside him for years and had poisoned whatever relationship they had beforehand. There's no turning back from this.

RoyalHalo: I don't know how to explain it, but when I personally ship something "platonically", it's different from just regular shipping and different from having a brotp. Nothing much to say on the ship itself, they're cute.

Cherrisnake: I wish I could like it more but "Meh" is right. I think it has potential, unfortunately 8 episodes a season didn't allow it to develop. I wish we could have had Cherri before ep6 to establish her relationships with Angel and Pentious and I wish they had at least one genuine conversation before the end of the season.

Alastor x Charlie & Alastor x Angel: actually it's not about the ships themselves, just some bad experiences in the early fandom. Ik not all the shippers are like that, especially now when those ships are less popular and a lot of people are vocal about not liking them, but unfortunately I don't think I'll ever be able to enjoy them.

Lute x Vaggie: Nothing to say I just don't like it.

Val x Angel: I put a black line because my knee jerk reflex was to think of people like. Ignoring the abuse, but thinking about it, I do enjoy the exploration of their relationship if it's in-character. It's just not something I personally would consider "shipping". (But then what makes it different from onewaybroadcast? Guess I'm just a hypocrite or something)

"Found family" is a term that's used very differently by different people in the fandom, which is a little confusing to me, so I changed this category to "maybe".

Alastor x Husk: Much like the previous one, except I trust people with it even less after all the victimblaming Husk got after ep5.

Velvette x Vox and/or Velvette x Valentino: I don't ship those personally just for the reason that Vel genuinely seems uninterested, but I support the people who do. Especially the polyvees shipping. There's also additional element to this for me personally is that if Val and Vox were an item, there's a fear that Vel would come off as a third wheel or be pushed to the side, and if they were all together this wouldn't happen. So I have no choice but to support, even if I myself can't get into it.

Guitarspear: Lute ripping off her arm to go help Adam... The last thing Adam does before death is smile at her... God. They were also very fun hypemen for each other during songs, and just the general dynamic was really funny. I would say I like this ship when I see it, but I won't go out of my way to look for it?

Carmilla x Zestial: They're friends... The fanart is nice to look at. It's fine.

Radioapple: I'm conflicted. I guess I am kinda interested in what their relationship would be like in the show, but in fanworks I mostly enjoy the "they aren't actually attracted to each other but everyone thinks they are" dynamic. It's funny.

Pentious x Emily: Ok, one (1) crackship. My friend ships them and I kinda see the vision? Could be cute.

[queenlucythevaliant]

Pride and Prejudice (2005) and/or Tombstone. I love hearing your opinions!

I'm going to begin with Tombstone; Pride and Prejudice under the cut :)

I love a good western, but it's Val Kilmer's Doc Holliday that really sets Tombstone apart. Probably my favorite moment can be viewed here, but I'll transcribe the exchange that really gets me below:

Ike Clanton: Listen now, Mr. Kansas-Law-Dog: law don't go 'round here, savvy?

Wyatt Earp, flatly: I'm retired.

Curly Bill: Good. That's real good. [...]

Johnny Ringo: And you must be Doc Holiday

Doc Holliday: That's the rumor

Ringo: You retired too?

Doc, visibly sweating and white as a sheet: Not me. I'm in my prime.

The rest of the scene (and, indeed, the whole movie) is well worth the watch, but this, this is Doc's thesis statement for this scene and throughout the movie. He's in his prime, in spite of the fact that he's got late-stage tuberculosis and is basically walking dead. He intends to prove it.

In this scene, we see Doc match Ringo in a contest of wits as they exchange several rounds of Latin epigrams. When Ringo draws on him and demonstrates his fancy gunslinging, Doc does the same with an empty cup. It's awesome.

As the movie progresses, Doc will prove repeatedly that he is intelligent, sharp, and highly skilled at everything he does. He's determined to be his best, and to show everyone around him just how extraordinary Doc Holliday at his best is, regardless of the fact that his lungs are slowly being shredded to bits in his chest. He's in his prime, even when he slows Wyatt's revenge party down later in the movie due to his illness. He proves it definitively, with more swagger and panache than anyone else.

Westerns are about American myth-making. The gunfight at the OK Corral is a towering part of the myth of the Old West. Yet I love how this movie portrays these semi-mythic figures in their humanity, without compromising on the myth.

Death is ugly in Tombstone--utterly un-glorious--but Wyatt Earp's revenge is mythic, complete with the epic threat, "So run, you cur, run! Tell all the other curs the law's comin'! You tell 'em I'm coming--and hell's coming with me!"

Sickness is ugly too. Doc Holliday spends the whole movie sweating and pale, falling over and coughing up blood. He needs to rest. He doesn't want to rest. Yet in spite of all that, he's mythic. Epic. He's dying, but he's in his prime.

There's something immensely powerful in that tension. Human, yet mythic. Frail, yet powerful. I love it very, very much.

*

I maintain that the 2005 Pride and Prejudice is the superior adaptation of the source material, even if it's not strictly the most faithful to the text of the book or the technicalities of the period. I got in multiple arguments with my professor on this point when I took and Austen and Bronte course.

The 2005 adaptation dials in close to the inner lives and messy relationships of its characters and never, never lets go. Elizabeth is intelligent and headstrong, yes, but the quiet moments of contemplation, reevaluation, sadness, and forgiveness are where the story of Pride and Prejudice really lives.

Austen wrote a profound intimacy between Elizabeth and Jane modeled after the intimacy she shared with her own sister. She wrote a father/daughter relationship between Elizabeth and Mr. Bennet that has so many layers to it: Lizzy is his favorite, the daughter who is most like him, yet he does wrong by his family as often as he does right. Elizabeth has a very clear-eyed view of her father, as much as she loves him. Ditto with her other sisters, and even her mother, who for all her silliness is actually desperate to ensure safe futures for her daughters. All of this is captured so beautifully in the 2005 version, while even the much-lauded Collin Firth adaptation tends to lose track of its characters' heartbeats, if that makes sense.

I could cite so many examples, but I think the sequence where Elizabeth returns home from Rosings is the best to demonstrate what I mean. Linked here.

Elizabeth and Jane discuss their respective trips. Neither is entirely honest with the other. Both are aware of this fact. They do not press each other. They are cautious and gentle with one another, but both look a little sad.

Kitty and Lydia and Mrs. Bennet are, yes, a little silly, but we understand them. Their motivations are clear. They are loud and a little obnoxious, but we feel Mrs. Bennet's fear, Lydia's desire to be important, Kitty's desire to be like Lydia.

Elizabeth and Jane discuss in an undertone while the others make a fuss. I love that.

The scene with Elizabeth and her father is absolutely flawless. We can see both sides, but we understand that Mr. Bennet does not know or care for his younger daughters as Lizzy does. "We shall have no peace until she goes," says Mr. Bennet. "Peace?" retorts Lizzy, "is that really all you care about?"

Mr. Bennet rather callously predicts that "[Lydia's] stay in Brighton will teach her her own insignificance." Elizabeth correctly predicts that Lydia is too easily led and will come into danger in Brighton and that Kitty will be in danger too out of her desire to be like Lydia. We see that she is right and her father is wrong. Yet it's also noteworthy that Lizzy and her father argue like equals. They take one another seriously and it's obvious that they care for and respect one another very deeply.

And then we get one of my favorite little scenes in the whole film: Elizabeth and Jane are lying in bed together in the dark of the night. The candle still burns.

Elizabeth, very softly and with a great deal of sadness: I saw Mr. Darcy when I was at Rosings.

Several beats of silence pass.

Jane, also speaking very softly: Why did you not tell me? Did he mention Mr. Bingley?

Elizabeth sighs

Elizabeth: No...

Another moment of silence. Lizzy rolls over and blows out the candle.

Elizabeth, in the now total darkness: No, he did not.

This is the heart and soul of the story. These two sisters, their difficult romances, secrets whispered late at night. Coming to understand one another. Coming to understand the men they love. Hoping against hope.

The transcendent beauty of the story of Pride and Prejudice is very simple: What if people are not what they seem? What if the man who was rude to you is good all the way down, and the handsome officer is a cad, and even your favorite sister has hidden depths? What if sometimes we get second chances at really seeing one another?

The 2005 adaptation captures this essence as well as I can imagine it ever being captured.

[yourtwistedlies]

moots list - wattpad - ao3

val ✩ she/her ✩ minor ✩ jason grace’s gf (REAL) ✩ speak now obsessed ✩ gracie abrams lovebot ✩ summer baby ✩ certified procrastinator ✩ professional listener ✩ pathological people pleaser ✩ general amaya’s #1 stan ✩ fitz vacker defender ✩ honorary grammar police ✩ kpop stan (mostly ggs) ✩ my moots’ biggest fan ✩ under the illusion i can write ✩ somewhat smart ✩ cabin 13 girl

𓂃 ࣪˖ ₊˚[ VALERIE ]₊˚ ࣪˖𓂃 ————— ₊˚⊹ derives from the words brave, valiant, strong, healthy, and powerful‧₊˚✩

dni: if you are racist, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist, 18+ only, religiophobic, creepy, toxic, or literally just a jerk, please leave!

•̩̩͙⁺ the basics ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

she/her, straight (heterosexual)

minor (18+ only acc’s please do not follow)

cancer (zodiac)

^^ summer baby

entp (mbti)

4w3 (enneagram)

ambivert

slytherin

cabin 13

shade (guys i swear i wasn’t trying to be edgy or smth with the past two and this 😭😭 i took the official quizzes i promise lmao)

swiftie

kpop fan :D

purple is the best color (this is not up to debate, only yellow even comes close)

people say im smart, but sometimes i feel like the biggest idiot ever lmao

•̩̩͙⁺ music ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

taylor swift, olivia rodrigo, sza, conan gray, alicia keys, gracie abrams, maisie peters, sabrina carpenter, queen riri (rihanna), adele, tiffany day, le sserafim, ive, newjeans, itzy, nmixx, stay-c, aespa, everglow, txt (baby fan) ＆ more kpop, lizzy mcalpine, pheobe bridgers, nessa barrett, pinkpantheress, claire rosinkranz, lyn lapid, alessia cara, renee rap, and more!!

as i hope you can tell, i like a lot of music :)

•̩̩͙⁺ books ₊˚. ↴ ·˚༘

pjo, hoo, (never read toa, but yes, ik what happens in tbm), the rrverse, kotlc, city spies, ss (spy school), alex rider (not done with rr), the academy for the unbreakable arts,

and my many other fandoms i’ve forgotten about (dead magisterium fandom oop-)

[devosopmaandag]

Het zwijgen opgelegd

Er zijn weinig gebaren die zo universeel zijn als de wijsvinger voor de gesloten mond plaatsen. 'Wees stil' in doven-en horendentaal. En zelfs zonder een hand achter een oorschelp te plaatsen betekent het ook: 'luister!'.

Soms loop je in het bos en je hoort het allerkleinste bladgeritsel. Je houdt stil, scherpt je gehoor, je blik focust. Soms loop je een gebouw binnen, niet zelden een kerk, en je zwijgt als vanzelf, of dempt je stem op zijn minst. Soms lig je 's nachts in bed' en hoort een bons; je zorgt ervoor dat je niet langer je lakens laat ritselen en luistert. Soms loop je met iemand langs een open raam en iemand zingt. Je stopt met praten en je glimlacht naar de ander. Soms loop je in een museum en je ziet een kunstwerk dat je het zwijgen oplegt. Er valt niets te luisteren, alleen maar heel zorgvuldig en langzaam kijken.

Als ik put uit mijn herinnering en kunstwerken tevoorschijn haal die dat met mij hebben gedaan, dan zie ik: 'Gezicht op Delft' van Vermeer, 'Het begin van de wereld', het ei van Brancusi, alle werken van Agnes Martin,  het zelfportret van Rembrandt op 22 jarige leeftijd, waarin zijn ogen verdwijnen in de schaduw, 'Saut dans le vide', de sprong van het dak van Yves Klein,  'Dead dad', het verkleinde, hyperrealistische beeld van de dode vader van Ron Mueck, het twaalfde eeuwse crucifix in ivoor in het Kolumba Museum in Keulen,

En toen bezochten G en ik vorige week de tentoonstelling 'Il sacrofago di Spitzmaus e altri tresori' in het Fondazione Prada te Milaan. Filmregisseur Wes Anderson ('The Grand Budapest Hotel') en Juman Malouf kregen de kans om een tentoonstelling te maken met werken uit het Kunsthistorisches Museum en het Naturhistorisches Museum te Wenen. Zij maakten een 'wunderkammer', een rariteitenkabinet, dat vanaf de 16 eeuw onder welgestelden een rage werd, maar dan in een extreem verfijnde vorm. In die tentoonstelling zag ik een ivoren Chinees beeldje uit de 17e eeuw, vermoedelijk voorstellend Han Xiangzi, een mythologische figuur, meestal afgebeeld met een fluit. Een arm mist, en mogelijk een fluit, zijn attribuut.

Iedere keer als ik kijk naar de afbeelding val ik stil. Zonder een wijsvinger voor een mond, is het alsof zijn gezicht en zijn gebaar mij het zwijgen opleggen. Zijn aura is een extreme stilte.

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot<3

- YES BBG’s IT'S MY BOY LANCE

- he’s one of my fav characters u guys don't even KNOW

- like yah okay, i've only seen hiM FOR ONE EPISODE

- but he’s the light of my life

- and he may not even come back but he looks like a character that would come back especially if the fucking ep is named after him

-  oh damn, i sure hope he does

- and goes into arthurs posse of knights or whatever, replacing val

- or what valerie was gonna be

- idek, lets get to it bc i could go on for days just picturing lance as a main character while continuously expressing my love for him

- BUT NOTHING ELSE OBVIOUSLY BC THIS IS NOW A CATHOLIC WEBSITE

- tumblrs trynna urge me to go with them nasty thoughts

- you wish tumblr

- you WISH you can ban me

- u can't live without sucking dick >:(

- wow slow down shev... wow okay sorry. christianism. i forgot

- it got the best of me

- back to the episode!

- omg it's buckbeak why he making a cameo in merlin??

- my inner potterhead(uwu) is coming out i hate this

- bet you can't guess which house i'm in ;)

- it's fucking slytherin, it's literally so obvious

- hissshiss motherfuckers

- ew guys

- this is so hard to type considering my fucking ‘-’ button (called a dash for u furries who only see a face) is broken and i have to literally smash it to make it work, so i'm just insanely typing up the next dash by screaming at my keyboard that i can't fucking fix

- and i have so many dasHES TO DO!

- that made no sense bc yall aren't living in my socks at the moment

- BUT I'M DYING IT'S SO HARD TO JUST GET IT TO PRESS

- fuck it copy paste, my best friend, you always come when the time is needed

- LANCELOT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL

- lowkey looked like that guy from the 100 though

- but better

- nothing against baloney of course

- lancelot literally just introduced himself, the camera panned in onto his chest, then he proceeded to faint or some shit with the camera still zoomed on his chest, and merlin reached up to grab his shirt, probably to yank it the fuck off and the opening credits rolled up. wtf was that scene.

- WAIT I REWINDED IT

- it's not supposed to be a zoom in of his chest lmao, my hoe ass thought we had a little fanservice for a second, but there's a big mushroom-looking blood stain on his shirt which i guess is supposed to mean he's fucking dead so it's not all that confusing anymore

- when was he stabbed tho?

- whatever. shit always goes down in BBC that's often unexplainable.

- “it had claws, wings…” arthur stops his sentence melodramatically while uther looks terrified. “and.. what?” WHAT UTHER?? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?? YOU THINK ARTHURS  GONNA BE LIKE “FANGS, STEVE BUSCEMI'S EYEBALLS, DANNY DEVITO’S HAIRLINE, TALKS LIKE JOHN MULANEY?? I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I SAW, NOT WHAT I IMAGINED. FATHER”

- but no… livestock apparently

- that’s what uthers shocked by

- not that theres a fucking griffin living in his world

- wait theres magic, means theres magic creatures doy

- but still, even if we all had magic here, i think it would be a little shocking seeing a griffin come for buckingham palace randomly

- or i guess if youre reading this and are in america, in the white house

- oh and it took only people apparently

- i guess that’s a little more severe but i stand uncorrected

- they be having a wild time in the hippogriff’s house ;)

- honestly sounds like a fucked up hogawart house

- here we have slytherin, hufflepuff, ravenclaw and... *looks at smudged writing on hand* hippogriff

- okay, who tf has a dream of coming to camelot when it's the most feared place, with banned magic and an asshole king with his hot bitchy son and a sorcerer who just brings chaos to the land

- well i mean, me 

- bc of the hot bitchy son but whatever

- camelot? more like cameNOT

- arthur calls himself the ultimate killing machine like the edge lord he is

- ARTHUR FUCKING KO’D THE BITCH

- knee to the nose and all wtf man

- this is probably foreshadowing smth with the “only noble blood can swoosh like a knight” thing, like somethings gonna happen and poor people are gonna revolt and uthers gonna be like “GEEZ fine, okay, no nobles can become a knight”

- merlins such a shit stirer, telling lance he can be a knight and telling him arthur would love him when we really know whats gonna happen bc of that rule

- and here’s gaius like uhh u liar wtf, crushing lance’s dreams while merlins just like wtf gaius, live in the moment, we can do anything, this is OUR show

- literally their such good friends and have known each other for a solid 10 minutes only

- i'm not that big into beards but id love to rub my face on lance’s

- HOMEWORK IS MERLIN’S EXCUSE, MERLIN UR LIKE 20 IN A WORLD PROB WITHOUT HOMEWORK

- haha little fault there, or like a minor inconvenience which isn’t important but i like to pretend to be smart: middle ages or well the show’s era was more in “AD” (476-ish is the start of middle ages, while the arthurian legend is supposed to happen in the 5/6th century so yeah, technically 400/500 AD), and homework supposedly only started up in 1095 so BOOM BBC GOTCHA

- no, merlin’s not gonna perform magic right in front of the librarian

- does he not know the wrath of librarians???

- our librarian at school literally kicked everyone out of the library once for the whole semester because there was an apple core on the bookshelf. this was during exam week. do u know how much i wanted to kill the person who didn't admit to their mistakes and let everyone suffer. WE COULDN'T ENTER TO EVEN STUDY

- OH GOD, HE'S DOING IT MERLIN IS A FUCKING MESS

- gwen and lancelot are my favourite thing, i literally want them to be together by the next episode

- or the next one with lance

- WAIT LANCELOT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER ISN'T HE BC I KNOW VAGUELY THE ARTHURIAN LEGEND AND LANCELOT WAS A KNIGHT WASN'T HE???? HE WAS A FUCKING KNIGHT AND ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT NEXT TO LIKE IDK BEDEVERE OR SMTH THIS IS AMAZING NEWS GUYS I LITERALLY COULD BE A DETECTIVE

- !!!! the only heto ship on this show i actually adore !!!!!!

- i mean i only love two things: merthur and glance

- idek what gwen and lance’s ship name is so its now glance

- merlin would be the best wingman for them by being gwens bestie

- “you can start by cleaning out the stables” *lance looks to merlin while merlin gives him the biggest smile and thumbs up* this fuckING DORK

- harry potter au where everything is the same but that grim reaper looking human creature in the prisoner of azkaban executing buckbeak is actually lancelot in the future 

- for symbolism purpose, not saying lance is like an animal killer but yknow

- same thing with the griffin yknow

- the two prettiest dudes in my world fighting against one another while sweat is glistening down their forheads is my new favourite aesthetic

- BUCKBEAK HAS COME

- oh wait no, people having been attacked by buckbeak have come

- netflix fucked up by subbing arthur as “orther” and i never laughed so hard

- don’t make me fucking laugh when there’s an ambush, netflix, this is not christian

- annd arthur’s pride is gone, and he goes up to chop lance’s fucking head off

- OH SHIT THAT TRANSITION THOUGH

- i'm so proud of my bb like genuinely so proud, lance deserves so much and here is is!! a knight!!

- MORGANA APPEARS THE LOML

- the three lomls in one room?? seriously bbc?? you really doing that to me?? for once im actually impressed and happy

- he's gonna get caught, i mean i KNOW that, but like it's still stressing out

- ewewewewewewewewewew

- arthur called morgana “isn't she so beautiful??” with a lovey dovey face pls don't lead this to that stepsibling porn bullshit i'm going to fucking puke

- i hated that shadowhunter bullshit like they seriously going to hit me with the indirect incest?? i was so done. i hated jace and clary, idc if theyre like the most popular couple, like wheres my raphael lovers at bc that's a boy i can enjoy

- “so if you could choose one... lance or arthur?” merlin subtly asks gwen like he doesn't have an answer himself

- it would have been so perfect geez, gwen and lance, merlin and arthur, myself and morgana

- i really wanna know what lance, merlin and arthur look like drunk bc that's a hell of a hangover they got the next morning and they probably cut out most of the soiree so like what did they do?? was there any drunk dancing and flirting??? bc i literally want to see that happen

- ik it's a bad thing but those drunk tropes where someone confesses their love to the person they like while under the influence is my favourite thing bc it's both hilarious, genuine and the other person often helps them to their feet and gets them to a safer place to rest and that's fricken adorable guys!

- not the drinking obviously, thats like a thing you can enjoy if you want but ya girl does not like drinking. or, well, she likes drinking with a limit. you can tell who likes to be the designated driver lmao. people here be drinking flat out whiskey and i tried it once and it burned by fucking throat

- merlin fucked up

- and this is technically his fault

- THEY GOT CAUGHT LMAO IT IS HIS FAULT

- hungover and caught this won't bode well

- “not worthy of a knighthood”

- hey so how do you retract a knighthood?

- do you like reverse the shoulder tapping

- like if you're christian, bc you know, we, as a christian group on this tumblr site, should already know about it... but when we do that cross thing on our shoulders, it means like a direct call with god or some shit. and if we do it the opposite direction it's considered the antichrist so is it the same for knighthood?

- OMG I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANy

- okay with christianity it's tapping the head the stomach, shoulder then shoulder, right? but the reverse is the anti cross like shoulder to shoulder, stomach and head. but… what if it were tapping the stomach, crotch, hip to hip? it would make sense right??? since the cross is upside down… it would lead to the dick and not the head. THAT'S WHY IT'S AN UPSIDE DOWN CROSS. BC YOU AINT SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM BALLS UNTIL MARRIAGE!!! I SEE OMG I SEE YOU JESUS, TRYNNA HIDE UR FLOURISHING SEXUALITY

- omg guys, don't grab ur fucking balls in this blog post, it's considered the antichrist

- “you never will be” lmao he's gonna come back, he's lancelot, that's a main in the og legend

-  how pissed will lance be with merlin

- i hope big time bc like... angry lance *dries off sweat with hands*

- aw damn lance isn't mad he's like “this is my punishment. mine to bare, mine to bare alone. stop blaming urself. i put this on me” this fucking goof is making me swoon once fucking more

- NOW BUCKBEAKS BACK

- he's a real goat x3

- buckbeak can literally fuck shit up in the air, camelot has nothing on him

- ARTHURS FUCKING DEAD LMAO

- oh wait he aint, just a few of his knights

- imagine being an extra and playing as one of those knights. having to fight next to bradley james, and have him look at you when someones doing something stupid like you can mentally agree with him and then pretend to die on camera. that would be my dream. make-a-wish better do me some good when i get diseased that will prob be named after me

- hoephagus

- stupidolis

- nah thats stupid

- ;)

- i now understand mulans will to pretend to be a guy and join the army bc i would literally do that if i could stay with arthur fucking pendragon

-  aw it's called a griffin not a hippogriff

- i'm saddened

- harry potter has taught me WRONG

- this looks to be the climax where merlins like “fine guys, geez, i'll kill the griffin bc i'm magic!! wow!!! but arthur obviously knew, and i thought gwen was gonna know but she shocked me even more when she didn’t like fucking hell everyones oblivious. but since you can only kill buckbeak with magic, sigh, i'm exposing myself ig” even if it's like halfway through season 1 with 5 seasons altogether, this looks to be the right time

- this really sounds to be what we are waiting for, what kilgarah said about the destiny merlin will have

- WAIT WE HAVEN'T SEE THAT BITCH IN A WHILE

- wheres the dickwad gone lmao like was the actor busy the last few episodes or what?

- OMG ARHTURS BREAKING LANCE OUT OF PRISON SO HE CAN BE A KNIGHT

- how is the “arthurs pretty gay” theory not popped up more times on here

- like we all know merthurs pretty great and all

- but CANON wise arthur seems super gay to me

- like he just told lance to get up his ass because “i need… uhh... camelot needs” like he was just about to say he needs lance in his life

- have you not seen the glances??

- fucking hell

- arthur slowly comes closer to lance pretending to talk about what he knows about the creature

- lance also coming closer to ask if he truly believes that, with a raised eyebrow

- thought this shit was only in books and fanfics

- but no guys, we got a gay eyebrow raise

- bc we all know only the gays are capable of eyebrow raises

- fucking hell this is gay i cant even explain it

- like its subtly gay, but out of context youd think this is something out of a fansite

- and merlins not even in this scene

- “take the horse and never return to this place” OKAY NO FIRST OF ALL SECOND OF ALL FUCK OFF LMAO THIS ISNT GAY ANYMORE

- i mean he’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart, saving him from prison and all but lance wants to like…  be a good man and you aint letting him do that

- OMG LANCE IS SAYING GOODBYE TO GWEN

- LANCE BETTER FUCKING KISS HER

- I LOVE GWEN AND LANCE TOGETHER #STAN

- fucking kiss you fucking bafoon

- THEY DIDN'T FUCKING KISS WTFUCKINGFUCK

- merlin looks so dumb holding his dagger as if he doesn’t know what to do with it but i love that for me

- WAIT I THOUGHT LANCELOT WAS LITERALLY GONNA GO YEET OUT OF CAMELOT NOT TO FUCKING SACRIFICE HIMSELF AND FIGHT THE GRIFFIN

- bafoons, all of them

- big bouncing bucking bafoons

- arthur looks so scared i've never been so in love and want to PROTECT

- omg for all merlin and lance know, that scream was arthur fucking dying- OMG IT WAS ARTHUR

- HE'S FUCKAN DEAD

- nvm he's alive but like yall not think to check for some arterial wounds bc he could be alive now, but in 5 mins he could legit not make it

- slow music means death

- lancelot you were the best husband i've ever had, rip

- i would be crying more if i didn’t know what happened, but since i already spoiled myself on the first season by watching this about a year ago, i'm not that sad but its still getting to me slightly

- hahahaha so happy everyones okayyy

- ARTHUR AND LANCE TiME!

- arthur looks so happy for lance literally crack ship right there

- why does nobody talk about this wyd

- and here’s arthur defending lance’s honour

- but uthers being a bitch

- omg that transition from lance being told to wait outside, the camera following him out of the room and the doors slamming behind him just in time to hear uther yell at arthur from next door is what gives me chills

- uther better fucking accept lance

- “the law is the law” yeah but the law also says to stop being a stuck-up bitch, uther

- literally lance is the only fucking person to not see through merlins blatant magic tricks

- like he saw that shit, called it out and was not like “oh what its a trick of the wind, surely”

- and he's not fazed at all, u see merlin it aint that bad to tell some people

- the only thing he is worrying about is the credit he says he doesn’t deserve bc merlin killed the griffin and not him

- see how fucking great my husband is, guys

- he better not be like “sucks to suck, i lied again! it aint me, chief” to uther and arthur

- NAH OKAY HE’S JUST BIDDING HIS FAREWELL IM GONNA FUCKING CRY IN THE CLUB

- he better fucking come back soon >:(

- seasonal guest star at least

- main characters, big bonus

- we barely saw morgana this episode and i'm not okay with that, but at the same time it was more lance-centric so i'm aight actually. we got all the time in the world for my baby girl, but lance :’( good luck man

- literally everyone is so gay for lance

- gwens into him for sure, and i love that the most (guess thats not gay but whatever, beggars can't be choosers)

- arthur has a little crush ngl

- and merlins full out in love with him

- not to mention MY FUCKING SELF

- i mean, i won't deny that he’s literally perfect in every way and i've only known him for one episode, but i agree whole heatedly with these crushes

- “till next time, sir lancelot” merlin whispers with a smile

- yeah that's me right there

- BC I'LL BE SEEING HIM IN THE FINAL EPISODE OF THIS SEASON!

- greeting us all with the news on being cast full-time for the show, being the best guard around and a lover boy to all

- guys i feel like i'm on aphrodisiacs but instead of desire for sex, it's love for lancelot

- send help