#and if you have them and sell them to some dumb well off person to get that cash? dont blame you. get the bag and all tbh.

[decepti-thots]

And of course, TF fandom has people in it used to throwing money around. Any serious toy collecting fandom does! I know people with huge collections and real gems in their collection who have paid sums for bits of plastic that make me go faint, lmao. I know people who backed the damn Haslab Unicron! That thing cost a month and a half of my rent! So it's unusually well suited to people going: yeah this is a lot of money for what it is, but frankly, I have spent more on objectively less useful things, what's £100 out of my spending money this month to complete my collection and maybe have something to get signed one day. TF fandom is full of people who are like, I know this isn't "worth" this much, but it crops up so rarely that if I don't buy it now, it might be three years before I see it again, so whatever, comes out of the dedicated toy budget. (I can't talk, while I didn't actually wind up buying any, before I got my stupidly lucky cheap KP cassette set, I was in bidding wars on Glit toys on eBay where I was thinking just that. Sure this tiny toy isn't worth £70 really, but fuck me, when am I gonna see one again at a better price? Maybe never? FOMO reigns! So.)

[earlysunshines]

fright night

kim minji x reader

synopsis: in which your university’s halloween festival leads to you and minji beating around the bush — finally.

warnings: making out. like the best makeout scene i've written in a bit i think. ohmygdoajsdf ; minji is a loooooser but we all know this ; pining ; dumb gay women ; FLIRTING. they want each other SO BAD i was giggling writing this im ngl ; SO cute i loved writing this ohmygod ; anything else not mentioned ; not proofread

a/n: lately i’ve been going insane bc of minji like she’s just so gf… so… she’s so… i need her

kim minji is an idiot, she’s literally the dumbest person you know.

well, academically she’s actually a genius, but she’s clumsy and clueless nine times out of ten. unfortunately yet fortunately(?) for her, this is only more of the reason for you to be completely in love with her.

which is why your roommate is dealing with another one of your little attempts to deny your feelings again.

“i think i should just die.” you groan into yunjin’s bed. she watches you, your body lifeless after you roll over to face the ceiling. “everything was just normal.”

“‘just’ as in… a month ago…?” your roommate snickers, folding a t-shirt and placing it next to your torso. “i think you’re the only person i know who doesn’t enjoy being in love.”

yes: you’re in love with kim minji.

no: you do not enjoy being in love with her at all.

it’s not that she’s an asshole, it’s just the fact that everyone is also in love with her. she quite literally has a line of girls (and men, but none of them stand a chance) waiting for her. she’s kim minji, one of your mutual friends who happens to be the captain of the university’s soccer team—which is why the clumsy aspect of her is often overlooked. so to most, she’s just hot, but she’s more to you, much more.

and you? you’re just trying to get by. you’re not in the spotlight, you haven’t gotten hit on in months — you and minji are two worlds apart.

“this is a waste of time. she only sees me as a friend, she’s cute and athletic. compared to her the most astonishing thing i can do is make a t-shirt and wide-legged jeans to sell on depop.”

“you should make a t-shirt that says ‘kim minji i want you so bad please marry me—“

yunjin is cut off when her just-folded shirt is thrown right at her face. she groans and throws it right back at you.

“i hope you get the same fate as a side character in a horror film.” you groan, sitting up and glaring at her.

“aw, thanks.” she says dryly, rolling her eyes. “hey, speaking of horror… the halloween festival is soon. are you going?”

“i fear.” you sigh, shoulders sinking a bit.

your partner in crime outside of your dorm, danielle, had convinced you with a look filled with sparkly eyes and a sweet smile to help out with face painting. there would be a variety of people passing by and you were notoriously known for being able to draw really well despite being a fashion major. “art is art,” danielle had shrugged, and so she bribed you with some coffee to really commit to it.

“danielle got me to do the face painting stall.”

yunjin’s eyes widen as she sets down a sweater. “did she?”

“yeah. i’m the only one within the circle – other than hanni – who can draw more than a stick figure.”

“you’ve got that right.” yunjin snickers. “you think your wife will be there?”

“minji?” you tilt your head, to which yunjin responds with a raised brow. she got you there. “oh, um. maybe? why?”

“don’t act all unbothered now.” your roommate scoots you over so she can pick up a pile and stack them somewhere else. “if she’s also doing something for the event, i see it as an opportunity.”

“why would i willingly do that to myself? im going to look desperate.”

“minji is an idiot, we both know that. why would it matter? i think she’d be flattered to have you there. hasn’t she literally taken you home like… three times? girl, stop overthinking.” yunjin scoffs. “plus, you never look desperate. you’re a little too good at acting like you don’t care. don’t you think you’re driving her away? it’s like, you’re so normal and even distant in real life, i don’t want to say nonchalant because it’ll boost your ego, but unfortunately, that’s what you are.”

“you—“ yunjin raises both brows as you start to speak.

“she probably wants you too. i’ve noticed you guys talking more — don’t think i don’t notice you guys next to each other in between classes, even if it’s with your circle. kazuha asked if you were dating actually.”

“really?”

yunjin giggles, turning away from her closer and back at you. she stands right in front of you, towering over and looking into your eyes scarily.

“you want that girl so bad.”

“i can’t.”

“no, no. listen to me, you’re going to take this halloween thing as an advantage to make a move and also look hot. i don’t know how many more complaints about you being a bomosexual i can take.”

“i hate you.”

“okay then pay full rent.”

“i love you?”

yunjin laughs, picking up another pile of clothes and putting it away.

—

hanni is the one to text you out of nowhere the day after, something about “minji wanted you to eat with us, but heeseung is at the cafe.” 

you squint at the message. you had just reached your class, and now you’re being invited over to grab a bite with the girl you want so bad while the guy who wants you so bad is in the same area. there is no way you should be saying yes, you can’t. one: you need to get over minji. she’s out of reach, a mere dream. two: heeseung will be checking you out the whole time and might throw in a compliment or two. 

“i’ll be there in five.” you respond, sighing and pinching the bridge of your nose.

…

the café seems a little busy, but that’s not surprising considering it’s around lunchtime and the cafe is not too far from the university. the second you step in, your eyes find minji across the room. she’s mid-laugh with hanni, but the moment she spots you, her smile stretches wider, something bright and giddy in her gaze. it’s that soft, familiar look she gets sometimes—too open, too much—but you’re just as bad, trying not to look like you’re seconds away from smiling like an idiot as you walk up.

“hey, you,” she greets, her voice warm as she sidles closer, her shoulder bumping yours as you both look over the menu.

“hey loser,” you reply, nudging her back a little harder, a playful rhythm forming between you. she pushes back with a smile, and you retaliate, each shove barely more than an excuse to keep lingering in that small space between you two. she laughs, cheeks a little flushed, and you can’t help but feel like coming over was the better decision.

you order first, dismissing minji’s offer to pay for your lunch. she frowns but nonetheless lets you order first. you order a sundried tomato and mozzarella panini, stepping to the side after and glancing at minji, who’s still staring at the menu.

hanni and danielle have already ordered, so you wait near the counter for minji so the two of you can meet up with the rest together. 

much to your dismay, heeseung’s voice breaks through your little bubble. he steps closer, leaning against the counter a little too casually. “so, do you always come here, or did you just need an excuse?” his smile is easy, maybe a little too practiced, and his gaze lingers as he looks you up and down, more intense than friendly. 

you try not to visibly cringe, offering him a polite smile. “not really—just here with friends today,” you say, keeping your tone light but cool. but he doesn’t quite take the hint, his eyes not quite leaving yours. he definitely thinks there’s something in the air, something other than his cologne that is way too strong for your liking.

“you look cute.”

“oh um, thanks?” you purse you lips into a forced smile, watching him smirk confidently. 

“what are your plans after this? got class?”

before you can think of another way to steer the conversation away, you feel an arm slip around your waist, pulling you close, and you look over to find minji at your side. her smile is wide and a little mischievous, and there’s a hint of something defiant in her gaze as she looks right past heeseung, keeping her hand snug on your hip.

“oh, y/n!” she says brightly, voice layered with just enough enthusiasm to sound like a joke but there’s an edge that makes it feel like more. “i remembered something so funny, it’s about yunjin. you know, during practice she got hit in the head.”

she doesn’t even look at heeseung as she tugs you back toward your group, keeping her arm around you a beat longer than necessary. heeseung’s face twists slightly, frustration crossing his features, but minji doesn’t give him a second glance. she launches into a conversation about her classes, her hand slipping away from your waist as she nudges you with her shoulder once more, an unmistakable grin still tugging at her lips.

you two get the chance to converse and danielle and hanni, who are more than happy to have you there. you can feel heeseung and his group eyeing you from a mile away, but that doesn’t matter because minji is in front of you and keeping eye contact the whole time you complain about him.

both your order and minji’s are called out at the same time and for a second, it’s just the two of you again as you both walk up to the counter. her voice and her closeness are enough to erase the last few awkward moments.

 “you looked like you were having fun back there,” she murmurs, half-laughing, and you can tell by the gleam in her eyes that she noticed everything. 

you laugh, trying to shrug it off. “couldn’t have done it without you,” you say, brushing her shoulder with yours. she looks down, almost bashfully, a hint of pink coloring her cheeks as she smiles—a smile that lingers long after heeseung fades into the background once again and you two rejoin the others.

…

before you make an excuse to leave, although it’s not really an excuse more than a complaint about your professor assigning a grueling reading, you hug everyone. when it’s you and minji, you two hold onto each other for a split second longer than social norms until she pulls away. minji smells like flowers and vanilla – you could drown in her scent.

“are you going to the halloween festival this weekend?”

“oh, yeah. danielle is forcing me to volunteer.”

“that’s funny,” minji chuckles, “because hanni is forcing me too.”

“is that so?”

“uh huh, pumpkin carving moderator or something.” she says, biting the inside of your lip. “we should um, do you wanna walk around after? maybe drop your shift early and i’ll do the same.”

you grin, pushing minji’s shoulder with two fingers playfully.

“couldn’t find any other girl lined up for you to hangout with?”

“what other girls?” minji asks, genuinely confused. 

you’re being an idiot. yunjin would so punch you in the face right now, so you come to your senses.

“i– nevermind. i’ll see you around.”

minji waves. “bye.”

…

after you leave, minji settles into her seat beside hanni and danielle, trying to keep her expression neutral. she fails, the smile on her face noticeably smaller and her eyes a little more dim. her friends have known her too long; hanni catches on first, a knowing smirk spreading across her face.

“you look like a disappointed puppy,” hanni says, nudging minji with a grin.

“what? no,” minji replies, clearly flustered. “what are you saying bro.”

“you were practically glowing when y/n walked in,” hanni teases, leaning in. “and then suddenly turned into a sad little puddle when she left. you want her soooo bad.”

minji’s cheeks turn a soft shade of pink, and she tries to laugh it off, glancing at danielle as if for backup. but danielle’s watching her too, a gentle, encouraging look on her face.

“it’s okay, minji,” danielle says softly. “it’s… pretty obvious, you know? you like y/n a lot.”

minji rolls her eyes, looking away. “maybe i do. but it doesn’t matter. y/n’s just… she’s too… normal, you know? she’s always so unbothered, so unfazed by anything. she probably doesn’t even want me. i’m always chasing her.”

danielle shakes her head, a knowing smile touching her lips. “i wouldn’t be so sure, minji. just because y/n’s good at hiding her feelings doesn’t mean she doesn’t have them.” she places a reassuring hand on minji’s arm. “trust me, i think there’s more there than you realize.”

minji lets out a small sigh, her gaze dropping to her hands. “it’s just… sometimes it feels like i’m the only one who’s feeling this way, you know? like i’m the only one getting flustered or waiting for her to look at me like… like i don’t know, she see’s me as a good friend.”

hanni wraps an arm around her, squeezing her shoulder. “please. y/n’s about as subtle as you when you’re around. i don’t know how you don’t see it.”

danielle laughs softly, nodding. “give it time, minji. y/n might just need a little nudge, and besides…” she pauses, glancing around conspiratorially before leaning in. “if y/n didn’t feel something, you wouldn’t have caught her staring at you like that when she thought no one was watching. plus, the whole nudging your shoulders the whole time. you two are like fucking thirteen year olds in love, it’s kind of gross.”

minji looks up, hope flickering in her eyes as a faint, shy smile tugs at her lips. maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t imagining it.

—

“im literally going to kill myself.” is the first thing yunjin hears when you get home, followed by you dropping your bag and crashing against her on your couch.

“girl what happened?”

“kim fucking minji. she’s insane, she wants me to die, i can’t do this, i resign from being a lesbian can i please resign.”

“well!” yunjin laughs, pulling you in. you lean on her shoulder and cover your face with your hands. “do you want to tell me what happened?”

through your hands, your voice is muffled as you explain, “basically hanni invited me to grab lunch with her and dani and minji. she looked so cute and like, we kept bumping shoulders and she kept smiling when she did it and then i ordered and—”

“you’re rambling–”

“and then i waited for my order while she ordered and heeseung started flirting with me,”

“ew, heeseung?”

“the bane of my existence— yes. i told him i was a lesbian at least three times! oh my god, anyway that doesn’t even matter, i don’t even care because—yunjin. huh yunjin.”

yunjin blinks at you as you stand up, pacing back and forth on the carpet now. she can’t help but laugh at you when you stop in front of her and groan, “jennifer huh.”

“wow, this must be serious.”

“minji fucking grabbed me by the waist like some wattpad story and then kinda shooed heeseung away and yunjin her hands are so nice and they were on my waist and i want her so bad. yeah. i’m gonna just die.”

yunjin pulls you by the wrist so you’re back next to her. she looks at you with a raised brow, waiting for you to recover from your high (if that counts as a high, but maybe you’re just insane). 

“she wants you.”

“she’s playing with me.”

“you’re insane. you know hanni asked if me if you like minji earlier, right? talking about how minji looked so devastated after you left.”

“what?”

“oh my god. you know what, i’m done with you. you’re such an idiot that it’s pissing me off.”

you whine, pulling yunjin by her forearm and pulling her back, which earns a scoff. yunjin looks at your little pout and puppy eyes, but doesn’t give in. instead, she pushes you off, leaving you to deal with the events of the day on your own.

before she disappears into her room, she sighs, “you’re gay and useless.”

you sink into the couch a little more. “thanks.” 

—

the weekend comes by all too fast. even with your time consuming assignments, it feels like you’ve blinked and now you have to deal with the whole festival.

you’re in a snug white cropped baby tee that shows a decent amount of your abdomen, your hair is styled just a bit, and the makeup on your face is a little more glittery and highlighted than usual. on your back there’s angel wings that complete the look. 

(“she’s going to want you so bad, trust me.” yunjin assures as she does your eye makeup.

it’s nothing much, just some darker warm tones with a faint hint of purple and highlighter to make you really look like an angel.

“and…” yunjin adds a bit of highlighter to your cheekbones. she pulls away and gazes at her work, bringing her pointer to her lips and biting on it jokingly. “heyyy gorgeous.”

“shut up.”

“minji’s going to want you so bad.”

“shut. up.”)

yunjin drives the two of you to the festival, she also looks really good. while you’re an angel, she’s a devil, showing off her toned body from soccer so she can pick up some girls that night.

(“you’re such a hoe.” you groan, doing her makeup to make her eyes smoky and lips plump. 

she rolls her eyes while putting on her little horns in her hair, checking herself out in the mirror. 

“how do i look?”

“like a hoe.” you assure firmly, earning a shove. then, you slide a finger down her collarbone teasingly, winking at her. “a really hot one.”

your roommate chuckles. “save that for minji, y/n.”

“i hate you.”)

the halloween festival is lively, lights flickering under dark skies, and you slip through the crowd in your angel costume with yunjin. you’re not even sure if anyone’s noticed your costume details, but the reactions make it clear you look… well, good. or maybe that’s just yunjin who’s doing the attracting, but a man winks directly at you and you have to force back a look of disgust.

as you make your way to the face-painting stall, you catch sight of minji leaning against a booth, dressed as patrick bateman. she’s really hot, that’s for sure, and it’s nothing new. the loose, slightly unbuttoned dress shirt shows her collarbone, and you can’t help but think about how your lips would feel on them. the loosened tie around her neck makes her look really good; you feel like she’s pulling you in without trying. despite the purposeful tousled look, she looks effortlessly put-together, but the smudge of fake blood on her cheek adds a wild edge (and makes her look even hotter). 

her eyes land on you, and her expression shifts just slightly before she pushes off the booth, walking over with a slight smirk.

“wow,” she says, looking you up and down in a way that feels way too intense. “you’re really… pulling off that angel look. you look really good, y/n.”

you giggle, trying to play it cool. “you look pretty good yourself,” you reply, letting your gaze drift over her from the blood on her cheek to the undone buttons of her shirt. “i didn’t know patrick bateman could look this… hot.”

a faint flush creeps onto her cheeks, and she lets out a quiet laugh, rubbing the back of her neck. “yeah, well, didn’t know ‘angelic’ could look so irresistible,” she teases, but her voice softens as her eyes linger on you.

for a beat, the two of you just stand there, the energy between you charged. you’re painfully aware of the way she’s looking at you—like she’s holding back from saying or doing something, thouh—and you can’t stop yourself from mirroring that, a hint of want in your gaze. she clears her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

“well, i better get to moderating— i don’t want people accidentally slicing themselves instead of a pumpkin.” she murmurs, finally breaking eye contact but not before giving you one last once-over, her eyes lingering a moment longer than necessary. she brings her hand to your hair, using a finger to push away some of the strands framing your face. you gulp a bit, then again after she brushes her knuckles against your cheek. “i like this. the makeup.”

i like you. you fight back the confession.

“thanks.” you swallow, nodding. “well, i should,” you start, playing with her tie out of a burst of confidence. you tug on it just a little, catching her by surprise. her breath hitches just barely. “--get going. i’ll see you.” you say, dropping the piece of fabric in your hand. 

as you head toward your booth, the thrill from your brief encounter with minji lingers, leaving you more than a little distracted and hoping she feels it too.

…

you’ve painted more faces than you can count on one hand in only an hour, much to your surprise. if you were to do this full time you’d for sure develop arthritis the second week on the job. 

after your tenth person — some kid who just wanted two flowers on her cheeks — danielle taps your shoulder. you turn around, humming in response.

“you look beat,” she says.

your shoulders are drooping, your posture is much worse than when you started, and you’re moving your wrist in a every angle to stretch it out and relieve the soreness. 

“you think?”

“hanni says she’ll be over in a bit.” danielle assures, patting you on the back and massaging your back lightly. “the stall will close soon so we can all hangout after.”

“thank god. are the other activities closed?”

“not until before midnight – i think.” you sigh in relief, but danielle adds, “could you grab some stuff from the supply closet though? maybe some more white, blue, and red paint? maybe grab yellow and green too.”

she gives you those eyes again, earning a chuckle. “yeah, yeah. okay.”

“great! just go down and turn right, there’s a brown shed — it’s not creepy, i swear. it’s kind of modern actually.”

“something tells me you’re lying.”

“me? lying?” 

you roll your eyes and stand up, then you trudge on over down the gravel. you roll your shoulders back and massage your neck a bit, then fix your costume a bit. it’s funny; you’re at a whole festival and this is the only time you’re exposed to the groups of people, bright lights, and excitement all around — at least for longer than a minute.

turning the corner you reach a shed, one that matches danielle’s description. 

danielle isn’t a liar, she never lies — well, she never lies about anything serious. it’s quite modern inside, seemingly new due to the fresh paint smell. it’s lined with wooden shelves, each holding different items. the corners are filled with various decorations, ranging from not only halloween decor but also christmas and even valentines day themed trinkets. you laugh at the little cupid poster in the back, but recollect yourself and focus on the “task” at hand.

you have to rummage through the costumes in the corner to find a small box with face paint in it. the light in the shed isn’t on (there isn’t a switch, only some rustic-type light hanging from above in the middle of the building), so you use your flashlight to help you see clearer. 

it takes a bit more time to find the yellow bottle of paint, which is in your hand until you drop it from the sound of the door opening so suddenly.

you jump, gasping ever so lightly before turning around to see a very striking patrick bateman.

minji stands in the doorway, still looking as good as before, looking at you with a perplexed expression.

“what are you doing here?” she asks, looking around the area.

“minji,” you close your eyes, “you scared the shit out of me!”

“i’m sorry…” she says, jutting out her bottom lip and suddenly every ounce of fear is drained from your body. “i didn’t know you were in here.”

“danielle sent me to get more paint.”

“that's funny,” minji steps towards you, looking at the two paint bottles on the floor. “hanni sent me to grab trash bags.”

you don’t respond for a second because minji steps under the antique light above her. it illuminates her face in the best way possible, highlighting the smeared on fake blood and her features. you feel your throat tightening as you stare.

minji’s gaze softens, she steps closer.

“do you know where i could find trash—”

“yes, um, yeah, probably in the corner.” you choke out.

she chuckles, you swallow lightly. 

you take the stretch of silence to pick up the two bottles that had dropped out your hand and turn the flash on your phone off. you fix your tank top because minji is still within radius, but she’s busy looking for the trash bags, still.

“i’ll see you later?” you say softly. minji’s head whips around, and there’s a slight frown on her face. before she can respond, you hear a click coming from the door, then stare at the handle with furrowed brows. you reach over to twist the knob, but it barely budges. “what the hell?”

“what?”

“i think it’s locked. did you lock it?”

she shakes her head, her brow furrowing as she steps over, nudging you aside to try the handle herself. she pulls, twisting the knob a little harder than you did, but the door still doesn’t move an inch. 

“it’s locked.” she mutters, glancing at you with a hint of worry. “i think we’re stuck.”

you both stare at each other for a beat, the realization sinking in, and suddenly the small shed feels much smaller. you look away first, sighing before turning on your phone.

“i’ll call danielle.” you say, voice steady, though there’s a slight tremor as you dial.

“i’ll try hanni.”

you both dial. danielle doesn’t answer and you huff. you wait for minji, her phone against her ear, and the defeated groan is enough to tell you whether hanni answered or not.

“i guess they’re busy.” minji says, slipping her phone back into her pocket. 

for a moment, silence stretches between you both again, an awkward tension settling in. minji shifts, making a weird noise as she brushes dust off her shirt. you can’t help but find it cute. then she adjusts her loose collar, making you clear your throat and glancing around for any other possible way out; there’s none.

the only thing you catch is a window, a window that’s far too small and high for anything to happen.

“we’re stuck.” you mutter, looking back at minji.

“do you think dani and hanni will realize we’re missing?”

“they might be busy…” you pinch the bridge of your nose, resting your head against the door. “i have no idea how we’ll get out.”

you’re stuck with minji. kim minji. the hottest and cutest girl you’ve ever laid eyes on. the girl you think of way too much for it to be platonic. the girl who’s in a costume that genuinely has you considering ruining a friendship. the girl who’s leaning back against the shelf behind her right now, crossing her arms, and who’s eyes are flickering over you as she smiles.

“your costume is really something.” her voice is casual, like you’re not stuck in a shed. there’s also a warmth in her tone that isn’t hidden in the slightest. “i like it a lot. you look heavenly.”

if minji’s trying to ease the tension, she’s doing it very well. her stupid dad joke earns a laugh from you, and now you’re leaning against the door with one side of your body as you keep eye contact.

“thank you minji, your looks could really kill.”

she laughs, gums showing and eyes crinkling. you want her so bad. 

��that one was worse than mine.”

“no it wasn’t!”

she rolls her eyes. “it was.” she steps closer leaning her head against the same door and staring hard at every single feature of your face. she glances at your lips briefly, then back up. “bet you’ve turned more than a few heads tonight.”

“maybe,” you feel your voice growing quieter. “but i was stuck at the booth.”

“if i were at the booth i think i’d purposely stay just to see you. you look really pretty tonight y/n, i mean it.”

you blush. “maybe.” there’s a grin that you can’t keep off your face. “i’d say the same for you.”

she chuckles again, looking down at her slightly blood-stained dress shirt. “yeah, i think i took the pumpkin carving part a bit too seriously. got more guts on me than on the pumpkins.” she holds up her hands, still faintly stained with an orange hue, and shakes her head. “i’ll probably smell like pumpkins for a week.”

minji watches you turn to the side, covering your mouth to stifle a giggle. 

turning back, you’re mid-laugh when your eyes catch on a smudge of blood across minji’s cheek, just barely out of place. your hand moves without thinking, reaching up to brush it away with your thumb. the laughter fades, the shed shrinking around you, and everything slows, the only movement her skin warming under your touch.

minji’s gaze locks onto yours, intense and unblinking, and there’s something behind it that makes your heart skip. her eyes are barely liddied now, she swallows, biting down on the inside of her lip, before a slow, uncertain smile begins to take over her face. 

“you look so good right now,” she murmurs, her voice low, almost rough. her hand reaches up, covering yours, holding it there against her cheek, like she’s trying to commit the moment to memory, almost like it’ll end anytime – soon, or now.

you’re close enough to feel her breath, the slight catch in it. “good enough for you?” you ask softly, a smile playing at your lips, your words teasing, but your heart racing.

she chuckles, but it’s quiet, and her gaze doesn’t waver. “better than good,” she whispers, her hand falling from yours, trailing down to your waist, her fingers grazing the bare skin there, gentle, hesitant, like she’s testing the feel of you, seeing if you’ll pull away, but you don’t. minji smirks. “are you… seeing anyone?”

the question hangs between you, heavy and thrilling. you shake your head, your pulse pounding beneath her touch. “no one at all.”

she exhales, her voice barely above a whisper. “good.” her fingers press into your waist just a little more, her gaze flickering down to your lips, and you watch, almost dizzy, as she wets her own, her tongue darting out, just barely, the movement so subtle you’d miss it if you weren’t so close.

your hand moves from her cheek, trailing slowly down to the open collar of her shirt, brushing along her collarbone. her breath hitches, and her head tilts slightly, just enough for your fingers to press against her skin, her eyes closing for the briefest moment before she meets your gaze again. you don’t realize how close you’ve drawn until you feel her breath warm against your lips.

she glances at your lips for what seems the tenth time. you two are clearly vibrating on the same wave length, it’s evident.

then, with the faintest, almost imperceptible smile, minji closes the space between you, her mouth soft, warm, pressing into yours, a little unsure, like she’s savoring every second of it. her hand at your waist tightens, pulling you closer, her fingertips grazing the curve of your hip as she leans in, her other hand moving to cradle the side of your face, her thumb grazing your cheek. the world around you slips away, and all that’s left is her—the warmth of her lips, the feeling of her touch, and the overwhelming sense that every daydream you had is getting outdone by this moment. this real moment.

it’s so real when she pulls away with rosy cheeks. she looks at you nervously, as if she didn’t just take the oxygen from your lungs.

“was that alright?” she asks, sounding unsure. it’s cute, she’s cute, god she’s so cute.

“perfect.” you mumble.

your hand moves to where her tie is, it’s loose around her collar, making it easier for you to tug her right back into you. she gasps from surprise and groans into your lips, kissing you hard.

her fingers press into your skin and you shiver, parting your lips ever so slightly to sigh softly. minji smirks against your skin, trailing to your jawline with light pecks as you release your grip on her tie and snake your hand around her neck.

“i’ve–” a kiss to the side of your throat, “wanted to—” a kiss lower, “do this for—” and a soft kiss to the base of your neck, “so long.” 

your breath shakes after she finishes the sentence, she kisses your neck once more.

minji parts, moving you over so you’re is against some random, heavy box on the side of the shed and now both arms are around your neck. you’re a few more kisses in, mixed with content sighs and groans and handfuls of hair before you two almost bite each other’s lips off from the sound of the door opening. 

you barely have time to pull away, minji’s lips are still a breath from yours, her hand lingering at your waist. you both turn to see danielle, hanni, and yunjin standing in the doorway, eyes wide. you and minji spring apart, the movement so fast that it would be funny if you were witnessing the situation.

danielle’s shock morphs into a grin as she exchanges a look with hanni, and yunjin just has a hand over her mouth.

hanni’s mouth drops open before breaking into a smirk, her eyes flickering with pure satisfaction. 

“oh my god.” hanni breathes, relief in her voice. “it actually worked.”

before you or minji can respond, utterly confused considering they all look relieved rather than disgusted, yunjin takes one look at you and minji and bursts out laughing,

“i knew it! i knew you two would finally do something if we left you alone long enough.”

minji blinks, looking as if she’s still processing. you glance between them, your cheeks warm. “what?” you say exasperatedly, “what do you mean ‘finally’? what— what is all this?”

The three of them exchange looks before danielle nudges yunjin forward, her grin growing. “so uh, we might’ve had a little something to do with the door locking. maybe on purpose. maybe. perchance.”

“definitely on purpose.” hanni adds, crossing her arms. “we were all tired of watching you guys dance around your feelings. you two needed a push.”

minji stares at them with a mix of embarrassment and dawning realizaiton. then she glances at you, her face flushing before turning back to the trio.

“you all planned this?”

hanni nods, looking like she’s enjoying this way too much. “you guys are hopeless. you know? everyone could see that you two wanted each other except you two. who the hell nudges their friends like that? you both are like middle schoolers with their first crush.”

you exchange yet another glance with minji, who’s biting her lip. there’s a surprise mirroring on her face, and honestly it’s really cute. adorably cute. 

despite all the embarrassment, you can’t help but laugh, a little breathless.

“so… this was all a setup?” minji says, looking at them with a half-laugh, half-disbelieving shake of her head.

danielle shrugs, stepping aside to give you both room to leave the shed. “well, it worked, didn’t it?”

yunjin’s grin is teasing as she waves you both out, her eyes bright with excitement. “yeah, finally,” she echoes, a satisfied smirk on her face. you glance at minji, who’s still looking at you, and a shy, almost playful smile tugs at her lips.

and as you both step out of the shed, shoulder to shoulder, the knowing smiles of your friends after they glance behind, there’s a giddiness accompanying the space between you and minji.

they all explain something about your booths being over because you two were too busy making out — you barely listen — and minji nudges your shoulder again when they’re far enough to not hear her.

you turn, tilting your head a bit before she leans down a bit to mumble, “you know, i heard that if you don’t kiss me again, for at least an hour, bloody mary might show up in your room tonight.”

a laugh escapes your lips and you push minji, who’s grinning at you like an idiot. you roll your eyes and reach out to hold her hand, she squeezes yours excitedly. 

“that’s a new one. are you sure it’s true?”

minji quickly cups your cheek and steals a kiss, parting away to make sure your friends don’t turn around and tease you two relentlessly.

“that one just got rid of all the bad energy from before.”

“what bad energy?”

“the one that’s building up every second you don’t kiss me. it also builds up if you don’t go out with me for lunch tomorrow. or ever.”

you roll your eyes once more, then glance at your friends before kissing minji’s cheek.

“i can’t risk any of that, can i?”

[rafeskiss]

dumb & poetic ! ᥫ᭡

pairing: toxic bf!rafe cameron x reader

summary: rafe went to a party without you and you hear from a friend that he hooked up with another girl. he gaslights and manipulates his way out of it. based on the song ‘dumb & poetic’ by sabrina carpenter

warnings: gaslighting, manipulation, cussing, mentions loss of virginity, toxic relationship, no smut

authors note: short n’ sweet is out and this album SCREAMS rafe mf cameron. possibly gonna do a little story for each song….

he’s lying to your face. seriously, his stupid fucking blue eyes are looking right in yours and he’s lying. the same eyes he used to stare at and call gorgeous are now meaningless as he looks right into them and manipulates you.

if you kept track of every shitty thing he did, you’d add a gold star for the reason being highbrow manipulation right about now. he was great at it. but as the months went on, and you started to realize maybe the way he treats you isn’t entirely love, but love for controlment, you saw past it.

“no, i swear, y/n.” rafe takes your hand in his softly, “nothing happened. i was just… just off my ass, you know? c’mon, baby, you know how i am.” he spoke kindly like he wasn’t just lying about hooking up with a girl at a party.

he sniffles, “really, baby. i love you ‘n shit like i wouldn’t cheat on you.” he nods, like he’s trying to convince himself more than he is you.

you just look at him, no emotion on your face. his thumb caresses your hand like a tactic he’s trying to use to make you believe him.

he’s trying to come off as soft and well spoken, but if anyone knows rafe like you do, he’s so unbelievably far from it. you know he knows he fucked up this time because he isn’t screaming and throwing shit at the walls. maybe he feels some guilt.

“scarlett literally said she saw you drag that girl into a room at the party. why would scarlett get off on lying about that?” you say while shaking your head.

he throws his hands up in the air, dropping yours and shrugging. “fuck if i knew. fuck. if. i. knew.”

he’s really trying to sell this whole act. it’s insulting how stupid he thinks you are.

you sigh and drop your head in your hands, “i don’t know what the fuck to do…”

rafe kneels down in front of you. you look up, still resting your chin in between your hands.

“communicate with me, y/n. what’s going on?” he asks like he really gives a fuck.

you softly shake your head, “i love you so fucking much, rafe. and you always have a way of making me look fucking stupid.”

he furrows his brows, “y/n. do you really think i’d cheat on you like that? do you think that little of me?”

your jaw actually dropped. you literally gasped and opened your mouth in shock. do you think that little of me? you repeated that inside your head.

you stood up, rafe still on his knees. “do i think that little of you? i gave you my fucking virginity. i think the most of you! i’m the one that tells my friends everytime they see you being a psychopath that you just had an off day. i defend you to everyone!” you yelled. rafe looked surprised you actually raised your voice at him.

he stood up and stared at you intently. “if all of your friends hate me then why are you still with me?” he said bluntly.

you didn’t know that answer to that. not really at least. you love him. you gave your virginity to him. yet another trophy he can display inside his head that makes him feel more man than his father. and part of you deep down believes you can fix him.

you were silent for a minute. a small smirk was painted on his face that basically read ‘you respect yourself so little that you still won’t leave.’ for such a coward, rafe cameron was the most powerful person you met. and you knew that you were too for staying.

“you can’t keep doing this to me rafe,” you said almost like a plead, like in another universe you were probably on your knees begging. your lip quivered and your eyes were glossy but you wouldn’t dare cry; it would make him happier. it’s like a fetish to him— fucking with girls heads. fucking with your head got him off the most.

he went from being innocent and apologetic to demanding and egotistical, but at the same time he never stopped being either of those things in this conversation.

he aggressively pulled you into a hug, pushing your head down into his chest. “i love you.”

you bit the inside of your cheek. “love you too, rafe.” you whispered.

you felt pain because you knew he did cheat on you, but you felt pain that you had to take the blame for because you stayed. and you always would. he knew it.

[rimurutempest]

I watched all of modern Doctor Who and these were my favorite episodes.

If you told me back in 2015 that I'd watch the entirety of modern Doctor Who, I'd probably think you're a liar. But, a cute girl wanted to watch Doctor Who with me, and how do you tell a cute girl “No?” Being that of the Superwholock trinity, Doctor Who the least upsetting of the three, I figured “Why not?” I mean, it's enjoyed by thousands and thousands of people, surely it has merit for existing, right?

And, it does! There are many great episodes that I really enjoyed (not to mention a lot of schlock I hated). I even enjoy some of the old serials and that 1996 movie is pretty fun (so very 90s). I can't claim to have seen all of Doctor Who, there is a lot of old stuff I'm probably never going to know even exists, not to mention all the spin offs and audio dramas, there's no way I can get through it all. But, I have seen the modern run, starting with Christopher Eccleston all the way to Ncuti Gatwa in Empire of Death.

Annnnd, anyone that knows me knows I love to rank and review episodic tv shows. So, with that said, here are my 15 favorite episodes of modern Doctor Who:

15 - Dalek (S01, E06)

It is probably unsurprising to any Doctor Who fan to see this episode on the list. The Eccleston era was my introduction to Doctor Who (as I'm sure it was for a lot of people) and this episode was my introduction to the famous villain, the Daleks. It's really a wild way to be introduced to the Daleks when you think about it, the Doctor and his companion Rose end up in an underground museum of alien artifacts out in Nevada and find the man that runs it has a Dalek in captivity. Upon learning of the Dalek's existence, the Doctor goes on a campaign to kill it with extreme prejudice until Rose yells at him about how he's being this horrendous person – which makes the doctor have a “Maybe I'm the baddie” moment and it resolves peacefully. Genuinely is really a good episode about moving on and realizing that we all have good and evil in us. A true standout of the early modern run of the show.

14 - The Impossible Planet & The Satan's Pit (S02, E08&E09)

There's a spectrum when it comes to Doctor Who, there are episodes that are gorgeous and smart and well thought out, then there are episodes that are just absolutely ridiculous. If Dalek explores the prejudice that can be enacted by those we see as “good,” then this duo of episodes is “what if the Christian devil was real and he was in space.” This is such an unbelievable hit of stupid bullshit, but it's delivered so very well. The first episode is loaded with mystery and adventure and unknown horror, while the second episode introduces the goofy concept in whole but still somehow grounds it enough that it still feels like a real plot with real stakes. It's the acting. The actors really sell this one to you. Space Satan is not what I expected when getting into this show but hey, it works and I like it.

13 - Blink (S03, E10)

I'm going to be honest with you, I feel like the internet really hypes up the Weeping Angels to a point that when you finally encounter them you're like, “Oh that's all?” Every episode of Doctor Who with the Weeping Angels feels underwhelming, silly, dumb, boring, with one exception: the original. I will not try to convince you that Blink lives up to the hype that the fandom has built for it, but if you can watch it without the Superwholock kind of bullshit in your head, what you'll find is actually a pretty good story. One of the best of the show. If the angels existed for this one episode and nothing else, they may have stood as the best antagonist of the show, but they got overused. I'm not going to explain the episode, I'll end up overhyping it more, just watch it.

12 - A Town Called Mercy (S07, E03)

I never see anyone really talk about this episode and it makes me wonder if maybe I'm alone in thinking it's great, which if so, oh well. I like westerns. The long and short of this is the Doctor and his companions, Amy and Rory, arrive in the old west to find a town with electricity too early and an alien cyborg gunslinger hanging outside of town hunting the town physician who turns out to be an alien that committed some horrific space crimes. The episode feels like a fun, loving homage to the western genre while once again exploring those aforementioned qualities of good people can be bad and vice versa. It's a fantastic little romp for the cast and these are the kinds of episodes that made the show fun to watch.

11 - Midnight (S04, E10)

Does this count as a bottle episode? The one thing I have to give the cast of Doctor Who is that when they decide it's time to really act, they act very, very well. This episode is completely carried by the acting of David Tennant and his supporting cast. In this episode, the Doctor's companion Donna sits one out while the Doctor takes a shuttle bus to go see a waterfall, until some unknown alien starts taking over people's bodies. This is a very, very well done episode that shows that you don't need elaborate set dressing or endless action to make good television, you just need good actors.

10 - The Devil's Chord (S14, E02)

I realize this might be controversial to say, but Ncuti Gatwa is my favorite actor to portray the Doctor. He's a fantastic actor and the energy he brings the role is so different and wonderful. When it comes to media, people typically don't like to hear you praise the modern bits over the older stuff, but this most recent run of Doctor Who with Gatwa is consistently more interesting and enjoyable than any other season of Doctor Who (that's probably Davies doing).

That all said, The Devil's Chord is a wild episode. I previously said that Doctor Who has a spectrum, from really great story telling to really goofy. If Midnight is the great story telling, then The Devil's Chord is the goofy. In this episode the Doctor and Ruby must face off against Maestro, the God of Music, who wishes to take all music from the world. The energy of this episode is wild, with Ncuti Gatwa's take on the Doctor going up against the insanely wild trickster character Maestro, who is portrayed by the trans actor Jinkx Monsoon. If you've fallen off of late Doctor Who, or you are completely new to it, please give this new season a watch (and don't let the Beatles jump scare at the beginning stop you, I swear there's no Beatles music!).

09 - The Empty Child / The Doctor Dances (S01, E09&E10)

If you're starting your Doctor Who watch at the beginning of the modern series, this will probably be the first episode that strikes a real chord with you (well, other than Dalek that is). This was the show's first real attempt at telling a horror story, one that is sort of zombie adjacent. This bizarre World War Two story with a child in a gas mask morphing people's bodies and existences into more versions of himself is one of the more original stories in the entire Doctor Who series, no one but Eccleston and Billie Piper could have sold this so well. Not to mention the introduction of Jack Harkness! (We'll uh...we'll ignore the actors conduct for this...)

08 - Planet of the Ood (S04, E03)

This is not the first time we meet the Ood, they were in the aforementioned Impossible Planet episodes, however this is when the Doctor finally does what he should have from the very start. The Ood are essentially a slave race, and in Planet of the Ood, they finally start to act out and revolt. The Doctor, as unpolitical as he has always been according to some people, decides “Yeah! Slaves are wrong!” and starts working with Ood Sigma (who becomes a recurring character kind of) in freeing the Ood. This episode also has one of the sickest, most awesome, kinda horrific effects in all of Doctor Who. Above all else, this episode is just very beautifully shot and well made. One of the highlights of the entire series.

07 - The Day of the Doctor (50th Anniversary Special)

Exploring the Doctor's mind during the Time War is such a cool concept. It's a thing the Doctor keeps referring to as this horrific, life changing thing for him, and getting even a glimpse into it is guaranteed an amazing time. Featuring both David Tennant and Matt Smith, while bringing on John Hurt of all people because Eccleston wouldn't reprise his role, the acting talent in this special is incredible and genuinely so wonderful to watch. At the end of the day, it's a really, really good Doctor Who romp and deserves any praise it gets.

06 - The Waters of Mars (2009 Autumn Special)

Pic from the BBC. Theirs looks better than anything I could get.

Hey look! It's the Hugo award winning special! And I only put it at number six!

Everything about this special is so fucking cool. The set designs, the costumes, the fucking monster itself, everything in this is so cool. You know how people always joke about horror needing to be wet? Well this is wet horror. David Tennant puts in so much effort here, struggling with what he wants to and what he has to do, the Doctor is really pushed to some stressful limits here that has such a fantastic end to it. Even if you disagree with where I placed it on this list, there is no doubt that The Waters of Mars is among the best stories Doctor Who has ever put out.

05 - The Impossible Astronaut / Day of the Moon (S06, E01&E02)

This is one that's probably going to get some pushback. I am an X-Files fan, it's my favorite show, love it when it's great and I love it when it's trashy. This two part season opening is the most X-files like the show ever gets, and I am so into it. The opening mystery of the episode sets up a really cool overarching concept for the season (don't ask if it's resolved well, please don't ask that) while introducing us to one of the coolest enemies Doctor Who ever made (please don't ask if they stay that way, please don't ask that). Everything about this is so fun and interesting and I hope others come out of it feeling the same way.

04 - Voyage of the Damned (2007 Christmas Special)

Pic from IMDB.

DOCTOR WHO TITANIC IS VERY GOOD!! Sorry for yelling. For a long while this sat as my absolute favorite episode of Doctor Who. Journeying alone on a rare occasion, the Doctor finds himself spending Christmas aboard the space Titanic (I am not kidding, they named it the Titanic!) and as the name of the ship would imply, tragedy strikes. This story is really wonderful, we get to see the Doctor try his hardest to save people and show love and kindness to so many people, not to mention having a group of characters instead of one companion to explore. I especially love the Van Hoff couple, who are two fat and poor people who won tickets to come aboard what is a wealthy cruise. Everyone around them is rather classist and fatphobic to them, but of all they characters in the special, they exhibit real happiness and love and their devotion to one another is genuinely so wonderful.

As I said, this one stood as my favorite episode for a long time. And, you don't really need to see any previous episodes to watch it, so please go watch it. It's a fun time.

03 - The Giggle (60th Anniversary Special)

I don't know what the wider fandom's thoughts on the 60th Anniversary Specials are, so I don't know if this is a controversial take or not. But, The Giggle highlights everything that is great about Doctor Who. It tips its scales back into the goofy part of the spectrum, but that goofiness is ultimately what makes this such a fun and interesting special. When thinking of actors like Neil Patrick Harris, who are so big and popular and well known celebrities, you forget that the popularity came from the fact they're good at their craft, and if The Giggle did anything for me, it was reminding me that yes, Neil Patrick Harris is an outstanding actor. And, getting put with a returning David Tennant and Catherine Tate really just solidified this special as some of the best acting the series has to offer.

The scene where the Toymaker forces the Doctor and Donna to watch a puppet show about the fates of the Doctor's companions is one of the best meta commentaries the show ever did about itself. The introduction of Ncuti Gatwa is pulled off in a fantastic way. And, the ending is so heartwarming that it makes makes me happy they brought Tennant's Doctor and Donna back.

02 - Heaven Sent (S09, E11)

I previously said that Ncuti Gatwa stands as my favorite Doctor. But, before the Gatwa episodes were out, my favorite was Peter Capaldi. Though Capaldi was given some of the worst scripts of the series (Jodie Whittaker probably got the worst of the worst), he brought such a different interpretation to the Doctor. David Tennant and Matt Smith's Doctors, despite their differences, were largely the same characters. Capaldi's had more of that Eccleston-esque attitude and charm, while bringing this gravitas that makes the silly moments feel real emotionally.

Which brings me to Heaven Sent, which might be the pinnacle of acting in the series. When people think of the best Doctor Who episodes, they probably expect big action and lots of adventure, but to me, the most interesting parts of Doctor Who are when we explore the Doctor as a character. What makes him tick, what makes him who he is, why is he here doing this – exploration of the Doctor and his motives is spectacular, especially when done right. Heaven Sent follows the Capaldi Doctor, after the death of his companion, imprisoned in a castle where he must reveal all his secrets. The torture and sorrow that Capaldi is able to show on his face is both horrifying and spectacular, really showing that he is an outstanding actor. There is no other piece of television like Heaven Sent.

01 - Vincent and the Doctor (S05, E10)

I don't think this is a surprise to anyone. I'm sure everyone has seen the gifs go around of the Doctor taking Vincent van Gogh to the future to see how his work is revered and loved and how moving that scene is. What I don't think most people know is how after that scene, after Vincent has been put back in his own time, the museum doesn't change. There are no new paintings. Amy, the Doctor's companion, then must learn that love and praise alone do not cure mental illness.

This episode has a haze of melancholy. The Doctor may change history plenty of times, but he doesn't often change real events. So, from the very beginning, you know van Gogh's fate, and you know it won't be changed. I actually liked this episode' portrayal of mental illness, it really is something that affects our lives, and makes it hard (if not impossible) to fit into society. How people with mental illness are often outcast, harassed, and treated like subhumans. But, this episode also shows happiness, hope, and love. And, that people do love you, no matter what you may think.

And, I think that makes it the best episode of modern Doctor Who.

Tumblr has decided that adding my full episode rankings would make this post too long. So, I will be adding them in a second reblog (check notes if you want to see!)

[bitchesuntitled]

Xerox

Pairing: 90sXerox!Pedro(Jamie Diaz) x f!reader

Summary: Jamie is a shy young man who doesn’t know what he’s in for.

Warnings/Tags: MDNI(18+ only), nervous Jamie, he really isn’t sure what he’s doing, flirting, fingering(f!receiving), unprotected PinV(be smart don’t do this), cumshots, copier shenanigans, if I missed anything that should be added let me know!

A/N: Thank you much to @beefrobeefcal and @strang3lov3 for their eyes and enthusiastic encouragement on this, without them this would not be a thing. Thank you @jay-zzle as always for the moodboard cause I was gonna cry not knowing how to add the GIF thing because I am canva dumb. Thank you to @merz-8 and Bug again for helping me come up with a name

@saradika-graphics for the dividers

Masterlist||AO3

It was just another day for Jamie. Get up, work at the copy shop, help people with their stacks of papers, and continue on like any other boring day. He was standing at the copier in the back, keeping track of the amount of papers coming out. He had been pinching pennies as best as he could to ensure he had enough for his books this coming semester. The last thing he needed was his boss, Kent, taking out copy fees from his paycheck like the last time he didn’t pay attention.

“Jamie!” Kent hollered, pulling his jacket on as he exited his office, “I’m heading out to lunch. Watch out!” He cackled, “Looks like the pretty lady’s on her way back here. Must want a piece of you, boy!” he added with a wink.

“Oh, I uh- I doubt that,” Jamie said, his cheeks and neck turning a bright red, “She just comes here 'cause it’s cheap.”

“Well, whatever it is,” Kent huffs a laugh, knocking his fist against the door frame, pointing a finger at Jamie, “Keep doing it.”

“Sure thing,” Jamie mutters, watching Kent leave the back office, “Sure thing.”

The bell above the door jingles as Kent makes his way outside with a morning ma’am as he holds the door open for you. The woman who has been inside this store more times than Jamie can count on his fingers and toes combined. You just started showing up, needing copies of the most random things. Fliers for a barbeque you were hosting, a missing cat flier for your dear friend, your boss demanding copies of a flier for half off on his wife's cheap crafts that she’s had a hard time selling, the list goes on and on. 

You’re gorgeous but Jamie can’t tell if you like him or not. Surely a woman like you wouldn’t want anything to do with a guy like him. You’re older than him. He knows because you asked him his age once, then let out a boisterous laugh when he responded with a shy ‘twenty-four’ - commenting how you wouldn’t have pegged yourself as the type, whatever that was supposed to mean. Jamie always prays to whatever higher power there may be that he doesn’t pop a boner the moment you walk through the door, your clothes leave little to the imagination every single time you visit and the way you push your tits together makes him want to lean over the counter and place his head between them and never come up for air.

“How can I help you?” Jamie asks, approaching the front desk, trying not to stare at how much cleavage the simple sundress you're wearing shows off.

“Hello Jamie,” you purr, smiling at him and tapping your nails against the wooden countertop. “Today, I’m here for something a little more… personal.”

“Uh, okay,” he squeaks, eyes bouncing from your tits up to your face, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallows nervously, “What uh- what that might be?”

You let out a sly smile, humming as you tilt your head, your eyes tracing over his features. His hair looks so soft- you bet it would feel like satin through your fingers, the cute dimple on his face when he lets a shy smile grace his lips, and the way his chest puffs out as he stands taller, trying to gain some confidence.

“Well,” you start, his eyes widening as you slink around the counter, heels clicking with every step, “I was thinking - and really, it’s just a thought - but maybe I could see how the copies are made?”

“Uhm,” Jamie hesitates, thick fingers scratching his head, “I don’t kn- I-I mean- m-my boss would probably get pretty mad about that.” He stutters out, as you inch closer to him.

“Is he here?”

Jamie shakes his head back and forth, flinching as your hands skate up his arms, looping your arms around his neck.

“Well then,” you grin, slipping your fingers between the curls at the nape of his neck, batting your lashes at him, “What could the harm be in showing me some behind the scenes?”

Jamie nods dumbly, his arms staying limp at his sides, “O-okay,” he stutters out, “J-just this once.”

—

“Well,” Jamie murmurs, flicking on the light of the backroom, “This is it.”

“Hmm… So this is where the magic happens, huh?” you ask, letting a faint giggle escape your lips as you walk towards the copy machine at the back of the room.

“Y-y-yeah,” Jamie laughs nervously, letting out a harsh snort that sounds eerily like a pig. He coughs roughly trying to cover up the sound of the piggy snort he’d just let out as his cheeks flamed like a tomato in the sun. You turn, looking him up and down with a grin. Oh, he’s cute.

“You gonna show me how to make a copy, Jamie?” You ask innocently, thrumming your fingers against the top of the white machine.

“Uhm,” Jamie swallows, stepping towards you like a scared animal, “S-sure.”

He grabs a manilla folder from the tray beside the copier, taking out a small stack of papers.

“So you just, uh, slide them in this tray,” Jamie says, carefully placing the papers into the top tray, “And then you press this button that says start,” he continues, pressing the button ever so gently as the machine hums to life, sucking the papers in, “And that’s it. Then you just stand here and wait for it to be done.”

“Fascinating!” You exclaim, bending over to watch as the papers shoot out below.

“Then you pull the originals out and place them back in their folder,” he explains, grabbing the folder again, keeping his eyes trained in front so he doesn’t look at you, “And then you grab the copies and place them in with the original. Usually, the copies are really warm.”

You reach your hand over, placing your palm against the warmth of the fresh paper, and let out a satisfied hum.

“Toasty!” you giggle, “So do you only make copies of the stuff you’re supposed to?”

“Yeah,” Jamie sighs, “My boss has some pretty strict rules.”

You pout, looking into Jamie’s big brown eyes. “Well that’s no fun.” You frown, “I bet you could make some interesting copies.”

“Interesting copies?” Jamie asks, tilting his head in confusion.

“Sure,” you say with a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders, “Don’t most copiers have a flat part on them? Not just this shoot thingy?”

“Oh, yeah,” Jamie says, gripping the thick plastic edge pushing it up with a small grunt, “Right here.”

“Perfect!” You clap, before inching the skirt of your dress up. Jamie’s eyes widen like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck as he sees the trimmed curls covering your mound.

“Uh…” Jamie hesitates, unable to tear his eyes away from the glorious site before him, jaw slack and eyebrows near the top of his skull, pointing to your crotch with a single finger, “I- uh- uhm- you.”

You let out a laugh, gripping his shoulder with one hand while the other holds the copier to hoist yourself up onto the flat surface, making sure to spread your thighs to give him a good look at your glistening pussy.

“Brrrr,” you let out a breath squirming, skin rippling with goosebumps as the cool glass hits your naked ass and thighs, “Little chilly.”

Jamie nervously steps back, unsure of what to do. His jeans growing tighter against his groin the longer he stares.

“Now where is that start button?” you huff, moving your legs to find it, “Ah-ha!” You announce, punching the button with your finger to start. The copier hums to life, a bright line of light scanning your ass and thighs, and swooshes out a perfect copy of your bottom half. You smile, admiring the copy of yourself, looking up at Jamie standing like a horny scared rabbit caught in a trap.

“Come here, cutie.” You curl your finger beckoning him closer. Jamie hesitantly moves forward. You smile as you flip the picture around for him to see. “Does it look good?”

Jamie lets out a pathetic, “Oh d-d-dear,” sounding almost identical to Piglet from Winnie the Pooh, and audibly gulps while furiously nodding his head.

“You ever fucked someone?”

“Uh- uhm-“ he starts, before you shush him, laying your hand gently on his forearm. “It’s okay if you haven’t,” you assure him.

“I have!” Jamie protests, wide panicked eyes bouncing back and forth between your own, “J-j-just not with s-someone like you.”

“No worries, sweetheart,” you smile, letting out a soft sigh and looping your fingers through his belt loops, pulling him closer to cage him in between your thighs, “I’ll help.”

His breath mingled with your own as those brown eyes glanced down at your lips, leaning in to brush his pouty lips against yours with a deep sigh. You smile into the kiss, nipping his bottom lip with your teeth causing him to gasp, allowing your tongue to glide into his warm mouth, easily taking the lead. Your hands slide up his torso to his shoulders, gripping the back of his neck deepening the kiss. Your lips trail down his jaw to the pulse point of his neck while he lets out a small whimper.

“You can touch,” you comment, sucking lightly against his neck, reaching for his hands that are still dangling at his sides unsure, leading them to your center. He lets out a harsh sigh when his fingers brush against your slick folds. You moan, guiding his fingers to that sensitive bundle of nerves, showing him the perfect amount of pressure to use that causes your toes to curl. “Oh fuck,” you sigh, as he slips two of his fingers into your wet hole. His breath becomes ragged, watching as your eyes gloss over from the pleasure he’s giving you.

“Feel good?” He asks with an awkward huskiness.

“Mhmm,” you nod, feeling the warmth spreading through your body, hands reaching to undo the button of his jeans, “Fuck,” you groan, feeling that band tightening in your core as his fingers begin to move faster, “Don’t forget the clit, baby,” you remind as his hand fumbles between your legs.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, swirling circles around your clit with his thumb. He helps you push his jeans and boxers down with his free hand, hard cock standing at attention, leaking from the flushed tip. You let out a frustrated whine when he removes his fingers, gripping his cock to swipe it along your entrance.

“Fuck,” you moan, growing impatient, “Just put it in already.”

Jamie nods dumbly, punching his length in like a straw going into a caprisun.

“Fuck!” he yelps, tightly wrapping his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder, breathing heavily. Gently, you wrap your arms around his shoulders, running your fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck, trying to soothe him as his cock twitches bumping against your walls.

“Move, baby,” you whisper, softly kissing his cheek. Jamie takes a deep breath pulling out, letting out a sharp whine as he sinks back into you. “Just like that,” you hum, sliding one of your hands to where you’re both connected, swirling your fingers in steady circles around your clit, your walls tightening around his cock. “Oh god! Don’t stop,” you moan, your grip on the back of his neck getting tighter.

“Fuck,” Jamie hisses, his body trembling, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he repeats over and over, thrusting his hips against you three more times before he pulls out. Ropes of his come shooting out onto the flat surface of the copier and your sex. You sigh sadly, looking at the streaky white mess he made covering your inner thighs and core. His hard length jutting out above the glass surface.

Perfect. 

You giggle, pressing the start button, watching Jamie’s eyes trace the flash of light under you, hearing the swoosh of paper coming out. You grab it excitedly with a shimmy of your shoulders, pushing Jamie back a little to hop off the copier, come sliding down your inner thighs, leaning up you give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks for the keepsake, sugar,” you wink, walking out of the backroom.

Tagging some who seemed interested when I shared the WIP Wednesday of this 😅 @almostempty @ace-turned-confused @whocaresstillthelouvre @pedroswife69 @94namkooksworld

Thank you for reading! Let me know what y’all think! ❤️

[twst-hottest-takes]

Cold take: Wtf was Leona's plan in Book 2? I know it was supposed to be Ruggie using his UM to take out Spelldrive players from the other dorms and eventually Malleus.

Problems: No Savanna Claw students were targeted which was mega sus. Even then, I don't think Leona should've targeted a bunch of Spelldrive players in the first place cause Savanna Claw should've been capable of taking them out in a fair match, and it's suspicious. Malleus was the #1 problem, so Leona should've focused on laying low and focusing his energy on him.

The plan hinges on Ruggie's UM, so if something happens to him it's game over.

I know the stampede is a reference, but there's gotta be a way to take out Malleus. Poison (or iron if that still works), telling Malleus that the tournament was rescheduled so he misses it (Malleus has missed ceremonies before so it would work), using Laugh With Me on Silver/Sebek and uhhh... y'know.

Book 2 is right up there with Book 5 in terms of frustrating writing choices.

Yeah, it's a serious stinker. It makes no sense and I am still trying to think of exactly what kind of person we're supposed to see Leona as. Supposedly he's a really smart dude in a lot of respects but his major character story block in this game makes him look like an idiot. When I first read the chapter I was worried for Jack because I thought Leona and Ruggie would target him after he admitted he didn't want to go along with the sabotage plot. Now I look back and think that's what SHOULD have happened. Not only would it make Savanaclaw look less suspicious overall but there's a lot of potential for character drama and growth. The whole plot was never really a mystery. It doesn't take much to figure out what's going on. They don't even try to hide that Ruggie is the playing piece behind the instances, and Leona is so stubborn and proud he's straight up acts dumb. He convinces Crowley to keep Malleus in the same player bracket as the rest of the school when that's blatantly unfair only to try and cheat to keep him off the field anyway? And you're right, Anon, the plot to target other players makes no sense because by all rights Savanaclaw mops the floor with every other dorm's Spelldrive team.

The premise they try to sell is that Leona is too lazy to want to do much in the tournament but he still wants to win, right? Well he put way too much effort into concocting a convoluted plan that doesn't even affect his main target until the last minute. The entire leadup of suspicious sabotage is 100% unnecessary and it just led to them getting prematurely found out! The people writing this chapter gave no hoots. They didn't want to come up with a more clever plan that relied on sleuthing to figure out that some big event was going to happen to ruin the Interdorm Spelldrive tournament. They had to come up with this cockamamie scheme to flag down Savanaclaw like idiots because otherwise the plot wouldn't happen. This one grinds my gears because the poor execution and bad storytelling really just sets Savanaclaw up as the worst dorm for the entire rest of the game and it's very hard to live that down.

JUSTICE FOR SAVANACLAW IN GENERAL THIS TIME! (Second worst written chapter.)

Thank you for your take. (Cold though it may be.)

(I think a lot of people will agree with this one.)

[kikyoupdates]

Love Bite ⭑˚🩸⭑ 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠

yandere!vampires x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, original characters, vampire!ocs x fem!reader

Desperate for money to pay off your debts, you sign up for a program that allows you to sell your blood to vampires. At first, everything is fine, and you’re finally able to make ends meet. But they soon begin craving more than just your blood.

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“I’ll have a large caramel macchiato, with light ice, soy milk, extra whipped cream, and can you please use one of the big straws? The small ones are a real pain in the ass. I asked for a big straw last time and they still didn’t give it to me, so make sure you get it right this time.”

You’re tempted to roll your eyes at her, but she seems like the type to complain to your manager. Getting fired isn’t an option right now. Not until you finish paying Johnny back, at least.

“Of course,” you say, offering a fake, sickeningly sweet smile. “I’ll get that started for you right away.”

She narrows her eyes at you, no doubt assuming that you’ll manage to fuck it up somehow. Being a barista isn’t all that bad in and of itself, but it’s dealing with annoying ass customers that really makes for a tedious experience. Well, as long as you’re getting paid, you can put up with pretty much anything. Hence the fact that you’re selling your own blood.

You whip up the woman’s order, get briefly bitched at because you apparently took ‘too long’, and when she finally walks out of the store, you sneakily flip up your middle finger.

Interactions like these are pretty standard in the service industry.

You’re working the closing shift, which means it’s late, and thankfully, not very many people are still coming in. You spend most of your time wiping the counters down and preparing to close up shop.

Just one more minute. Only one more minute, and then you can lock the doors, flip the closed sign over, and you’re finally home free.

You’re excited to go home and get some sleep. You’ve been running on fumes these past few days, even more so than usual. Having less blood in your body than normal isn’t exactly doing wonders for your physical wellbeing.

But because your luck is nonexistent, of course, of fucking course a customer decides to walk in at the very last moment.

You grit your teeth. People like this are the absolute worst. They know not the meaning of shame.

A young man has just stepped inside. He’s got soft, delicate features, and a somewhat distraught look in his eyes. He seems awfully skittish for some reason. Which is dumb, because if anyone ought to be unnerved right now, it’s you, the person whose shift just got extended.

“Um,” he calls out shakily. “You’re still open... right?”

You have half a mind to turn him away, but since he looks pretty upset, you don’t want to be the one to ruin his day even more.

“We’re still open for a little bit longer,” you concede. “Just tell me your order and I’ll make it as fast as I can.”

He exhales in relief. “Oh, th-thank you! I really appreciate it. Sorry for coming in so late. The other coffee shop I tried turned me away, so I had to go somewhere else...”

Turned him away? That doesn’t exactly sound like something that would be allowed. Turned him away on the basis of what, exactly? Poor behavior?

“Did you do something to offend the people working there?” you can’t help but frown, curious despite it not being any of your business.

He lowers his gaze to the ground. “I... guess you could say that. I made people uncomfortable just by being there. They told me I was scaring away all their customers. Even though I made sure to go in late, when not many people were around...”

He seems to be making a conscious effort not to move his mouth much as he speaks, but even so, for just a brief moment, you happen to spot them. His fangs.

Ah. He’s a vampire.

You frown. Having already met two vampires and allowed them to drink your blood, it goes without saying that the novelty has kind of worn off. Still, not long ago, you might have been in the same boat as those other people, living in perpetual fear of vampires because you didn’t know any better.

“They can’t refuse to serve you just because you’re a vampire,” you say, and his shoulders jump slightly when he hears you use the term. “That’s discrimination, and I’m pretty sure it’s illegal. You could file a complaint against that establishment.”

He furiously shakes his head. “N-No. I’m not trying to create any problems for anyone. It’s fine. I know people can’t help but be afraid. If I were in their position, I probably would be too. But... is it okay for me to be here? If you feel uncomfortable, I can leave right away.”

“Of course not,” you frown. “I would never make you leave."

“It’s just that I noticed you seemed a bit upset when I walked in...”

You let out a sigh. “That’s just because I was looking forward to going home, and you walked in right before closing hour. But now that I understand your circumstances, it makes sense. I’m not going to hold anything against you, so just try to relax, and let me know what you want me to make for you.”

His expression brightens, and if that’s all it takes to elicit a positive reaction out of him, you’re starting to gain some valuable insight as to how vampires are treated around here.

“I just want a medium black coffee,” he says.

A medium black coffee. Such a simple order, and to think that he had to jump through hoops to be able to get it.

You no longer hold any prejudice against vampires. They’re just people, like everyone else. It’s not like they chose to have to drink blood in order to survive. It’s simply the way they were born, and there’s nothing they can do to change it.

Besides, it’s all thanks to vampires that you’re able to keep up with Johnny’s payments. Vampires are quite literally saving your life.

“There you go,” you say, handing him the coffee. It was a breeze to make, and it hardly took any time either. It looks like you’ll be out of here a lot faster than you thought.

The man stares at you for a few moments, but he isn’t looking into your eyes. You don’t realize what he’s so fixated on until his lips finally curve into a smile.

“Um, thank you,” he says. “I really appreciate it... [Name].”

Ah. He must have been looking at your name tag. You smile back at him, then lean over the counter slightly.

“It was my pleasure. And if you don’t mind me asking, you are...?”

“Huh? Oh,” he blinks. “E-Elliot. My name is Elliot.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Elliot. And don’t worry. From now on, you can come to this store whenever you need some coffee. No one here will discriminate against you, and if I happen to be working a shift when you come in, maybe I can even hook you up with some free samples,” you wink.

Elliot’s smile grows even wider, and he frantically nods his head, unable to contain his excitement.

“Thank you!” he splutters. “Thank you so much!”

You can’t help but chuckle. How adorable. It upsets you that he’s being shunned, but not all humans are assholes, just like how not all vampires are bad. Hopefully he’ll meet some nice people soon, and in the meantime, you’ll happily serve him coffee whenever he wants.

Now, then. It’s time to finish cleaning up and finally go home.

You’re standing in front of an unfamiliar house, and for various reasons, you feel apprehensive.

This is the address he gave me. So, then... this is really happening.

Since you agreed to take Felix up on his offer, he’s been messaging you and trying to set up a time for you to meet. You told him that you wouldn’t be comfortable with disclosing where you live, and he agreed, saying that you were more than welcome to have these private visits at his house.

Ugh. Actually, calling them ‘private visits’ doesn’t exactly sit right with you. It makes the whole thing sound a lot dirtier than it is.

You agreed to this, but even so, you’re starting to get cold feet. Isn’t this usually how people get murdered? And you’re not referring to him being a vampire, you’re referring to being a woman and walking straight into the home of a man you barely even know.

Selling your blood to him at Plasma Inc.’s headquarters is definitely safer, but then you remember the whole reason you agreed to this in the first place.

Double pay.

Fuck. The money is calling to you, and you know just how much of a difference that amount would make.

Which is why, even though your fight-or-flight instincts are kicking off, you ignore them and ring the doorbell.

Felix greets you with a sharp, ear-splitting grin, like always.

“[Name]!” he beams. “Come in! I’m so glad you’re here. For a moment, I was actually worried you were going to stand me up, haha.”

I thought about it.

You swallow your thoughts and instead nod. “Hello. You said I could come in, right?”

“Of course! Make yourself at home.”

Felix smiles again and steps aside, granting you entry. You’re not sure what he does for a living, and what kind of jobs are even available to vampires, considering Elliot struggled to be able to buy a goddamn cup of coffee, but if his house is any indication, then he’s certainly not strapped for cash. It makes your cheap studio apartment look even worse than it actually is.

You wander off to the living room and instinctively grab a seat on the couch. You figure you’ll be sitting down while he drinks your blood, like you usually do.

“Before we start,” you suddenly say, “you’re... not going to rip me off, are you? Drink my blood and then kick me out without paying me?”

Felix’s brows skyrocket, and he lets out a gasp, visibly offended.

“I would never do that!” he insists. “I want to be able to keep drinking your blood, so why would I ruin all of that just to save money one time? I want this to be a recurring thing, not just a one-and-done.”

Well, you suppose that makes sense. If he cons you, then no way in hell will you ever meet up with him again, and he seems to really like your blood. He would basically just be shooting himself in the foot.

You’re going to get paid. That much seems to be a given. So, with all the bullshit out of the way... you suppose it’s time to get started.

Felix sits down next to you, visibly eager. He’s already reaching over to loosen the top of your shirt, but before he gets any closer, you quickly push him way.

“W-Wait,” you blurt. “I’m not trying to bitch and whine, but... is it at all possible for you to be a bit more careful? It really hurt last time. I’ll do it anyways, but if you’re able to, just please. I would really appreciate it.”

Xavier made it slightly more bearable, so surely, Felix is capable of doing the same.

Whether or not he cares enough to bother is a different matter entirely, though.

Felix smiles sweetly and rubs your shoulder. “Of course,” he says, and you’re not quite sure you like that lecherous look in his eyes. It’s as if he’s about to eat you up. Which, you suppose he is, but there’s something much more ominous than the literal sense.

You decide to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in your gut and turn away, granting him access to your neck.

“I’ll be careful this time,” Felix promises, and he wraps his arms around you before unhinging his jaw.

No matter how many times it happens, you doubt you’ll ever be able to get used to this feeling. But at least it seems like Felix is trying to be gentler than he was before. The pain isn’t anywhere near as unbearable, even though it still makes you sick to your stomach.

You close your eyes, and as always, wait for it to be over. Felix gasps for breath every so often, and you swear you hear him let out a groan of pleasure next to your ear.

It’s okay. He’ll be done soon. Any moment now.

…

Why isn’t he done yet?

“Um,” you grimace, trying to push him away. “I think that’s enough. I’m starting to feel a bit faint. Please stop now.”

But Felix doesn’t stop. Instead, he pushes you down, making your back flatten against the cushions of the couch. He’s bigger than you, and stronger too, so he’s able to hold you in place without any problems.

It’s then, as you feel the full weight of his body pressing down on you, that you realize just how fucking dangerous this is.

“Please,” you plead. The pain in your neck is sharp and unrelenting, but above all else, you’re scared. Why isn’t he letting go? He’s already taken more than enough blood. Your vision is starting to cloud over, and it feels like you’ve broken out into a cold sweat.

Felix is either so overwhelmed by his bloodthirst that he can’t hear you, or worse yet, he simply doesn’t care.

Either way, it doesn’t matter.

You scream.

“Get the fuck off me!”

You manage to knee him in the stomach, and despite the fact that vampires have strong, resilient bodies, the act still makes him double over and let out a groan of discomfort.

While he falters, you hurry to roll onto the floor, then you pick yourself up as fast as possible.

You back into the nearest wall, lightheaded and terrified. You should be running away. You should be, but...

He still hasn’t paid you yet.

“I-I’m sorry,” Felix gasps. He stands up, and when he takes a step forward, you start shaking like a leaf in the wind. Guilt creeps onto his expression. “I don’t... I’m not sure what came over me. I took things too far. I’m sorry, [Name]. I really, really am, and I promise it will never happen again.”

You use a hand to brace yourself against the wall, still shaking. Fuck. You don’t feel well. This bastard really drank too much of your blood. Any more, and it probably would’ve landed you in the hospital. Meeting up with him is way too fucking risky. Even if he says he wants to keep drinking your blood and seeing you regularly, there won’t be any blood to drink if he drains you dry.

“Give me the money you promised,” you seethe.

Felix nods hastily and pulls out a wad of bills from his wallet. He hands them to you, and you snap them up in the blink of an eye.

Then, you turn to leave.

“Wait,” Felix protests. His lips are still painted red with your blood. “You’re not... angry, are you? It was just a mistake. I got a little carried away. All you need to do is tell me to stop, alright? I promise I’ll listen. This really won’t ever happen again.”

Bullshit.

You don’t trust him. He clearly doesn’t know how to hold back, and even though this would have been a sweet deal, you’re not reckless enough to completely gamble your life away. You still have Xavier. And eventually, you’ll probably meet another vampire client.

This guy is bad fucking news, and you want nothing to do with him.

“Goodbye,” you breathe out. He tries to chase after you, but you to beat him to the door and run off into the dead of night.

“I’ll call you!” Felix cries out. “We’ll stay in touch, right?”

You don’t respond.

You managed to pay Johnny back on time again. He seemed pleased with the fact that you’ve been maintaining a diligent schedule, which is probably why he hasn’t been threatening to beat the shit out of you recently.

Thanks to selling your blood, you’ve got more money on hand than you’ve had in a very long time.

But as you will soon realize, this arrangement is far from sustainable.

“[Name], are you feeling okay? You don’t look like you’re well enough to be here...”

Your coworker, Caleb, offers you a concerned look. He’s always been considerate to a fault, and while you appreciate his kindness, you don’t exactly have a choice in the matter. Regardless of how you feel, you need the money. Selling your blood isn’t enough to pay off your debt in full. It’s only thanks to all your part-time jobs that you’re still making the cut.

“I’m fine,” you wave off, and needless to say, he doesn’t look convinced. You do your best to ignore him and throw on your apron, hobbling weakly across the steel kitchen floor. Thankfully, this is your dishwashing job, so you won’t have to interact with any customers. You really don’t have the energy for that today.

“Okay, but make sure to take breaks,” Caleb insists. “I'm worried that you might slip and get hurt if you’re not careful.”

“I promise I’ll be fine. But thanks for worrying.”

Taking breaks in the middle of your shift isn’t an option. Your boss is a real piece of shit, and he already got mad at you for taking a breather once before, when you were worn-out after pulling two all-nighters in a row. If he catches you again, odds are, you’ll be fired. The job of a dishwasher isn’t exactly difficult to fill, and he’ll readily give your spot to someone who doesn’t slack off.

So, you put on your gloves, bow your head, and get to work. Since the task is so mindless and repetitive, it allows you to drift off and think of other, more entertaining things. Plus, the sound of the water faucet helps you fall into a steady rhythm, and it’s soothing, in a way.

But today, you find yourself struggling to do something as simple as washing dishes. Your hands can’t seem to stop shaking, and white spots repeatedly fade in and out of your vision. Something feels... off. Even your breathing seems to be getting shallower by the minute.

“Caleb,” you mumble weakly. “I think... I might need to...”

You can’t finish your sentence in time. Everything blurs, your legs go wobbly behind the knees, and soon enough, your head hits the ground.

The last thing you hear is Caleb screaming out your name.

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🩸 main masterlist! ♡ character appearances

[sanzaibian]

I am Chris Albanese. Self-made billionaire, ravenous businessman and pussyhunter.

I am the best businessman to ever exist, the world basically belongs to me. If someone doesn’t act like I want them to, I can pay them off, pay someone to off them, or do it the old fashion way by wielding my fists. You see, I used to be a sportsman. A boxer, to be precise. However, unlike my dimwitted adversaries, I knew how to use that to my advantage. I used sports as a way to gain some quick bucks and gain fame, and when finally a business venture extracting lithium in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, I jumped on it and finally ended that dumb career hitting people for other’s excitement.

However, it’s not as if everything was smooth sailing…

Today was a very bad day. It started with a demonstration in front of my building, with those wokes saying that I am complacent in the bloody civil war in the DRC. I mean, I don’t care about those Congolese, I’m just extracting lithium and selling it at high prices ! Those wokes will always find a reason to hate hard-working people. But after that, I got complaints that my employees are over-worked and under-payed, and that they threaten a strike ! I fired a few of those so it’s okay, but then I get told that the shareholders believe that I don’t take enough advantage of the electric vehicle boom, and that my management is unsatisfactory ! Don’t they understand that those “green politics” will just explode on their faces and that I’ll have to pay for “mismanagement” ? Those fuckers…

When I get home, I decide to call my pussy... I mean, my third wife, but let’s call things what they really are. I need to unwind a bit, after all. When she comes to my penthouse, she goes off on me about how she was busy, and how I just call her when I want her but I’m never here when she wants me. Women, am I right ? So I just shut her up with a new Gucci bag, and start undressing. She watches me as I undo the buttons of my suit, revealing the manly coat of hair I possess. But as I fling my top across to the couch, she dares to tell me :

“You know, Chris, you gained a bit of weight since the last time we had fun… You should really start working out again, you know, like when you actually did sports.”

Although she was telling me that with a look of concern and of lust, my anger was so built up since the beginning of the day that I just went off on her.

“What, do you want me to be a moron that can only punch others ? That is better than the piece of hotness you have in front of you ? I’m rich, I’m powerful, I’m the best person in all of humankind, and this is what you tell me ? That I should be ‘taking care of myself’ ? I’m taking care of myself just fine ! - Chris, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, I’m just worried for you…” I cut her. - You wretched woman, don’t say lies, I know you’re just not happy with hunting just one guy ! You sluts are all the same ! You come here saying ‘oh no, I’m so busy buying clothes’ and ‘you should work out and do everything I say’ and expect me to do nothing ? To listen to your orders ? I’m fucking Chris Albanese ! The best man on Earth ! You fucking greedy slut, you’re fired !”

She looked at me with weird eyes, as if I said something that didn’t make sense.

“You… fire... me ? You- You know I’m your wife, not your employee !”

She looked at me with pleading eyes, trying to seduce me out of firing her. Sluts are all the same, I tell you !

“Well, you’ve heard me nice and clear, you’re fired ! And never dare cross my path again, else I sue you for harassment !”

Utterly bewildered, she took her things – including her new bag, that greedy bastard – and started going, when she told me, with a shaky voice :

“You’re going to regret this, Chris !”

And then, she slammed the door. Good riddance, I think, but that doesn’t get rid of my tension.

After scratching my head for a small while, I decide that the best course of action is to offer her the possibility to buy her position back with “actions”. Smiling, I go to the door to announce to her the good news, when I suddenly get a headache.

I stumble and take support on the kitchen counter. Where did that come from ? My head feels so bad, it might as well be about to explode ! What was I thinking about ? Yeah, something about a person I needed to meet with… but whom ?

Another ache, this time on my stomach. As I breathe in, I feel something working in my stomach, and as I breath out, I have the impression that my stomach goes farther than it used to. It continues for a while as another ache, this time in my legs, hits. I feel weird cramps in them, as if I had just done leg day and was suffering through its consequences. I fall down harder, not able to support myself on my legs, but am able to break the fall with my arms. Just as I do that, I feel my arms get those similar cramps, and I just fall flat, aching everywhere. As my eyes are on the same level as the floor, I notice that it seems a bit dirty. Has my maid not done a good job ? She’s fired ! ...

… Who’s fired ? I can’t quite remember… Ugh… I should really clean my floor, it’s so very dirty, a ton of dust, and a ton of sweat… Sweat ? I look down at my expensive suit pants, and only find sweaty sweatpants… and hairless abs. They’re also quite sweaty… Yeah, makes sense, since I was working out just now ! … … What ?

I stand back up. What has just happened ? I don’t work out anymore, yet I’m convinced that I just finished working out. Plus I have the biggest headache, like I’m forgetting something important… I pace around, my body aching less and less, and feeling more and more pumped up. I also feel my hairless face and body… I feel as if I’m missing something very important. Then, suddenly, it jumps out to me.

The coach ! I’m late for my next match !

I run through my dingy flat to take a track suit and run to the boxing club. On the way there, I feel as if something is intensely wrong. As if I’m not supposed to be in the boxing club, as if I’m not supposed to be in a dingy flat, as if I’m not supposed to be in a good shape… yet I can’t quite put my finger on it, still having that headache preventing me from thinking normally. When I arrive, coach berates me as he leads me to the locker room to prepare myself. When I’m ready, I go to face off against my adversary.

When I enter the ring, young women cry of joy, and between them, I see a very beautiful one that seems weirdly familiar… but she’s not really my type, she’s too old for little young me.

Me and my adversary fight for a while until I’m put K.O., and as the referee starts counting. But as I try all I might to get up, I see my adversary on top of me, acting all dominantly. And then the most surreal thing happens.

I get a hard-on.

[lesinquietes]

Grower!Dabi is in his thirties. He spent some time in the clink on drug charges — seven years, to be exact. He got arrested for sloppy dealing while he was high on his own supply. It took him mandatory rehab to realize he can’t handle being around hard drugs. No more coke for him. Painkillers are off the table, too. Being around them is the only temptation he can’t resist. He blames his fucked up childhood for that.

In prison, they teach you the ways of botony to calm the urge to use. He cared for plants and they healed his addiction. So, naturally, once he got released, he started growing weed. Indica, mainly; it tend to grow faster. He never meant to sell it — until Twice came begging for a whole ounce. He said something about his strains making the voices stop. Dabi doesn’t know what this means, but he’s happy to take his cash.

After a year of selling to friends and acquaintances, he started making a profit. Soon, he was stacked enough to move. He relocated to the mountains across the country, where other cannabis cultivators operate their illicit craft. The cops don’t touch them up here; they can’t. There are no laws, save for the ones they’ve made for each other.

Point blank: don’t touch each other’s shit.

His grow op is recognized far and wide. Grower!Dabi recruits trimmers every time he harvests. It’s easy. Bus loads of people come into the city beneath the mountains in hope of being chosen by a cannabis facility. The money is decent. It’s damn well better than the crap they’ll make working retail or fast food, that’s for sure. Plus, they get to smoke on the job. He can see why this place would attract a certain type of person.

He likes cruising by the bus shelters to scope out potential targets. He doesn’t want locals. Travellers have no idea what to expect. A lot of them are blind to the true dangers of this sees — the real monsters lurking in these mountains. Many don’t make it out alive. He’s been the culprit of more than a few.

Last year, he shot three trimmers in the head after catching them stealing some of his product. It was only a couple of grams, but still. He had to set a precedent, didn’t he? No one saw the act; nevertheless, the others he picked up knew what had happened. He left some of the blood mess behind for them to discover. When their families called for them, he hung their missing posters up, merely to add insult to injury.

Again, he blames his fucked up childhood.

He drives by the bus stop one evening and sees you standing on the corner. Initially, he thinks you’re a lady of the night; then, he clocks that you’re here to find work. A smirk graces his lips. Well, he might have a job or two for you.

You’re dumb, from the city. He grins when he notices the skimpy outfit you’re wearing. You obviously don’t care what sort of attention you attract in that. He accepts you she a few others in the back of his truck and takes you into the hills. He lets you sit in the front seat with him, warm hand on your thigh, asking you what you like to toke, and promising you he’ll smoke you on something potent when he gets you back to the trim house. You giggle when his fingertips rest on the hem of your panties.

Grower!Dabi is absolutely shocked at the luck he’s been having in recent years. First, his own business. Now, a beautiful woman to trim his weed and warm his bed. He pulls you closer to him as he drives. He doesn’t see himself letting you go.

Next l

𝔉𝔞𝔯𝔪𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔲

[arliedraws]

Go on about Sirius and Benjy I am listening

Well, I went down a Benjy Fenwick hc rabbithole and created a backstory, so thank you for that

Benjy Fenwick comes from a working class seaside town in North Yorkshire. His father is a mechanic and his mother works part time as a cashier. Benjy’s the oldest of five children—he and his youngest brother (born when Benjy is about twelve) are the only siblings with magic. But he almost didn’t go to Hogwarts because he could hardly afford any of his books or materials, but he worked his little eleven-year-old butt off to make extra money. A natural salesman, he finds scraps to sell to kids he knows, gambles, scams adults until he gets the money he needs.

He loves his parents, particularly his mum. He feels incredibly guilty to be leaving his family behind, convinced that he needs to take care of them, but his parents insist that he goes. When Benjy gets to school, however, it’s clear that he is Poor. The first person to point this out is Bellatrix Black, a particularly nasty Slytherin girl in his year who comes from a very old pureblood family.

But Benjy is the most shameless, charming, devil-may-care sort of boy. He’s decent at school, but doesn’t care about doing well—he just cares about doing what’s right. He’s a jock type without possessing a shred of interest in the jock activities—he doesn’t give a damn about Quidditch but gets bored sitting still, but he’ll fly a broom to see how fast it goes. Too clever for his own good—could talk his way out of anything. He doesn’t need to lie—he just tells the truth so plainly that you can’t help appreciating his candor.

All of this infuriates Bellatrix Black, and she’s determined to make this little Ravenclaw as miserable as possible by trying to turn people against him. But Benjy is a really difficult person to hate. He’s the sort of kid who, if he doesn’t get a spell correct, is the first to laugh at his mistake. He asks the “dumb” questions in class—the ones that people are too embarrassed to admit they don’t know the answer to—with a shit-eating grin. He’s the first to protest if a professor gives them an extra long essay or a pop quiz and give the most convincing argument why the teacher should spare them—and sometimes, he’s even successful.

He gets a few O.W.L.s and a couple of N.E.W.T.s but not enough for a job in the Ministry. He never really wanted to do bureaucratic shit anyway. When he finishes school, he goes back home to work with his father as a mechanic. His family has always been his first priority, after all. And he’s pretty happy! He’s probably gay and he has younger siblings who are happily married and having kids, so he feels no pressure to “settle down” and marry some girl.

Anyway, Bellatrix Black’s old rivalry with Benjy never faded, and his family is savagely murdered in one of the earliest massacres of the war. He was supposed to be killed too, but he happened to be elsewhere that night. Mr. and Mrs. Fenwick are murdered, as well as two of his siblings, their spouses, and their children. Benjy goes feral when the Ministry do very little to investigate. He decides to hunt down the perpetrators himself but accidentally ends up sabotaging an Order of the Phoenix mission led by Alastor Moody.

Dumbledore asks Benjy to join the Order, and soon, Benjy becomes a key player in the war. He’s an excellent duelist, he can make muggle explosives that evade magical detection, he hasn’t got a lot left to lose, and most importantly, he has to make the world a better place for his little brother who’s still at school.

Benjy has been with the Order for five years by 1978. He’s still cheeky but a little jaded, battle-hardened, and a bit wary of the newest recruits who are too fresh out of Hogwarts. What is Dumbledore thinking bringing on these kids? And one of them is Bellatrix Black’s cousin.

This Sirius kid is charming and reminds Benjy a bit of himself when he was that age, but Benjy is also a bit suspicious of the pureblood heir. He hides his distrust, though Sirius can sense it. When a mission goes wrong, Sirius risks his own life to save his friends and finally earns Benjy’s respect. Others in the Order still don’t entirely trust Sirius because of his family, but Benjy sees something in him and takes Sirius under his wing as Sirius’s friends become more and more distant while the war pulls them apart.

Benjy spends more time with Sirius who constantly drops in unexpectedly at his house in Yorkshire. He’s worried about Sirius who begins behaving recklessly as James becomes more entangled with Lily. Benjy has to pull him back, insisting that he’s needlessly putting himself in danger.

When Sirius is furious that James and Lily are planning to wed, Benjy initially doesn’t see the problem—then he realizes that Sirius is in love with James. Benjy attempts to comfort him, but he discovers, to his surprise, that perhaps he’s always wanted to comfort Sirius. But Sirius is too young for him and in love with someone else…though he can’t deny he wants this kid very, very badly.

Meanwhile, Sirius desires approval from someone he respects, and Benjy has always praised Sirius in exactly the way Sirius likes—sarcastic remarks and a pinch of his cheek, winks, exasperated smiles. He likes how Benjy throws his arm around his shoulders like they’re mates; he likes that Benjy treats him like an adult when they’re on missions. They drink together, share the same kind of humor, etc. Benjy even brings Sirius to work in the auto body repair shop, etc. It’s hard to resist the older wizard—and it doesn’t help that Benjy is a fit, working class hunk.

Neither is sure who made the first move, only that Sirius came directly to Benjy’s house after James proposed to Lily. Benjy lets Sirius rage about it until Sirius, exhausted, settles down next to Benjy on the sofa, and Benjy just sort of…strokes his hair. And a lightbulb turns on for both of them.

From then on, when Sirius isn’t with his friends, he’s with Benjy. He doesn’t tell anyone about his relationship with Benjy (who warns that if Moody finds out, they won’t be able to partner up anymore). As they become more involved, Sirius can’t always explain where he’s been which looks…suspicious to people.

Anyway, if this were a fic, I’d probably add the plot of Bellatrix finding out about Benjy fucking her most eligible bachelor cousin, reigniting her old hatred of him.

Yada yada, Benjy dies to save Sirius—and no one alive knows they were ever together.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM BETTER CALL SAUL *  assorted dialogue from season 1 of the show, adjust as necessary

oh, to be nineteen again!

me, personally, if i were held accountable for some of the stupid decisions i made when i was nineteen...

i bet if we were in church right now, i'd get a big "amen!"

they did a dumb thing. we're not denying that.

nobody got hurt. not a soul. very important to keep that in mind.

so... trespassing? that's a bit of a reach, don't you think?

call me crazy, but i don't think they deserve to have their bright futures ruined by a momentary, minute, never-to-be-repeated lapse in judgement.

you're bigger than that.

thank you for restoring my faith in the judicial system.

son of a bitch. fine.

what did you do to my brother?

why don't you look where you're going?

listen! it was an accident!

somebody call the cops!

how are you gonna fix this? what are you gonna do to make things right?

you have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and i won't have it!

do you want me to call security?

isn't that what you wanted?

you know i'm gonna beat this.

you proceed from false principles. your argument is built on quicksand, therefore it collapses.

i might as well head down to skid row and sell plasma!

money is not "beside the point," money is the point!

hand to god, i wasn't gonna say this, but you are broke.

this is what has you all worked up?

i'm the rising tide that raises all dinghies.

it could happen to anyone.

wow. you got a mouth on you.

you know what i smell. i smell lies.

i'm undercover, okay? you got me.

you already beat the living hell out of them.

i'm gonna break their arms. and i'm gonna break their legs.

i'm the best lawyer ever.

it takes ten minutes to walk down here!

you're like a troll under a bridge.

hey, you asked for me, and i have come.

what they were telling me... it's problematic.

you want to tell me your thoughts and weigh in?

you miserable piece of shit. you set me up.

you think you're funny?

i was never in the house.

you didn't... oh god, you didn't. you didn't do the sex-robot voice, did you?

that's why people hate lawyers.

how come you let me off the hook back there?

i'm going back to work. why don't you quit while you're ahead and go on your way?

finally, someone believes me!

it's human nature to want to stay close to home.

please, just don't tell anyone about the money.

you expect me to believe that shit?

i'd cut the cute attitude right about now if i were you.

you ratted on me. there will be consequences.

you know how much trouble you caused me?

i get that... but this? you're better than this.

i refuse to consider myself a victim.

are you ready for that?

i may have seen one of these before.

it's a little... sexual, maybe?

you're completely disgusting, you know that?

oh, here's your coffee. hope it's good to the last drop.

i'm asking you to take a few ounces of lukewarm coffee and spill it on him.

i'm very sorry to hear it.

anything else you wanna ask?

what exactly did you tell them?

how could you possibly think that?

why didn't you ask me? why didn't you come to me?

a deal? i hate that terminology.

you're telling us there are drug dealers and murderers walking the streets, but instead of going after them, they want to put an innocent man in jail.

you broke into a nursing home?

what number exactly did you have in mind?

so... what are you packing?

how do you not pack a gun?

what are you talking about?

the lesson is... if you're gonna be a criminal, do your homework.

i thought you were proud of me.

just save your breath, okay? you're gonna be fine.

this was the greatest week of my life.

i know what stopped me. and you know what? it's never stopping me again.

[ugh-yoongi]

fic where yoongi says exactly what he means all the time (ie - i have a massive crush on you) and reader thinks “no one is that direct” and doesn’t believe anything he says because i love miscommunication in fics but YOONGI SURE AS SHIT DOESNT

you know why

hello my beloved birthday-having friend <3 hope you enjoy.

fun fact: this is the yoongi bee dressed up as the night she got drunk as fuck and spent an hour doing a powerpoint presentation on bts kinks. don't we love that for her :)

direct

pairing: yoongi x gn!reader genre: college au, strangers to friends to lovers; fluff warnings: yoongi is an implied fuckboy, brief mention of blood, very direct communication, cigarettes, swearing, a kiss. rating: e for everyone wordcount: 700

You meet Min Yoongi in your chemistry lab.

You meet Min Yoongi when he’s half asleep and wearing a permanent scowl. Looks like he’s just rolled out of bed, and you sneak a glance at his shoes to confirm. Yeah, two different ones, just as you’d suspected. You’ve met this brand of academically-declined fuckboy before and it’s never ended well for you, so you breathe out a sigh of relief when he ducks into a row towards the back.

Then your instructor tells you to pair off, that whoever you choose is who you’ll be stuck with for the rest of the semester, and no one else must want to work with Min Yoongi, either, because he’s the only person left. He blinks half-lidded eyes at you—slowly, like a cat—and says, “Fine by me. You’re who I wanted to partner with, anyway.”

And you scoff. Min Yoongi didn’t even bother to buy the textbook, and you’re at your seat with an arrangement of notecards and highlighters and a stack of notes you’d taken over the weekend just because you were bored and wanted to get a head start. “Yeah, I’m sure I was.”

You’re dumb enough to refer to Min Yoongi as a friend five months later.

It’s a Friday night. Your roommate is god-knows-where, probably getting railed within an inch of their life at some party. Good for them. At least someone around here is taking advantage of their college years instead of wasting away on a threadbare thrift shop couch, a magical girl anime playing on your laptop; the one you watch only when you’re alone, because it’s too embarrassing otherwise.

Then there’s a knock at the door.

Min Yoongi is on the other side with a black eye and a busted lip. Refuses to meet your eye. Says, “I didn’t know where else to go,” even though he’s got a posse that’d put small armies to shame.

You roll your eyes. “You don’t need to bullshit me to get my attention.”

He smiles at that. “Why do you always think I’m bullshitting you?”

“Because you’re a sewer king, Min Yoongi.” Then you sigh, because couldn’t Yoongi have pulled this stunt when you were showered and wearing clean clothes? “Fine, get in here. But I’m not doing this shit again.”

Yoongi always smells like smoke and petrichor and trouble, and it’s the same when he breezes past you this time, too. “Thanks, doll. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

This fucking guy, you think. “Yeah,” you intone, “what are friends for, huh?”

You become absolutely certain that Min Yoongi is full of shit two years later.

“You’re full of shit,” you tell him, watching as he flicks the ashes of his cigarette onto the hood of his beat-to-hell car.

“Don’t you think this is getting a little old?”

“Don’t you think you’re too old to act like this?”

“Who’s acting?” Sticks the cigarette between his lips and takes a drag. Blows the smoke out, waves it away from you.

“You are,” you insist. “No one on earth is this honest. Especially not you. Especially not about something like this.”

Yoongi groans. Tosses the butt onto the pavement and stomps on it. “You want me to prove it?”

You curse the way your heartbeat hastens. How embarrassing that you’re falling for this. That all Yoongi has to do is sell you some kinda line about being in love with you for all your good sense to crumble at your feet. “You’re not in love with me,” you argue. More like you insist.

“Says who?” he fires back, inching closer. Smells like smoke again—nicotine and a desperate kind of hope and bad ideas that might not be all that bad. “Says you, who doesn’t believe a fucking thing I say?”

“That’s not—”

He stands between your spread things. Places two fingers beneath your chin and forces you to look at him. “I’ve never lied to you, doll. Not once.”

“Bullshit,” you answer, your voice diminished to a pathetic hush, but there’s no heat in it. “Fine. Prove it, then.”

You become absolutely certain that you don’t know a goddamn thing when Min Yoongi presses his lips to yours.

[jo-harrington]

Standard Operating Procedures 1.01 (Eddie Munson x Store Manager!Reader)

Previous Part: Sales Pitch

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Eddie Munson's Official Comprehensive Pizza Tour of Hawkins

Warnings/Themes: Reader works at the Claire's at StarCourt. Eddie works at TapeWorld. Fluffy and awkward and a little bit emotional. Slowish Burnish because of reasons. AU where the Upside Down doesn't terrorize Hawkins.

Note: Don't know if this should become a series of Standard Operating Procedures that specifically feature their hang outs/not-a-date nights? Because I have other ideas that are not their Sunday nights that I am also interested in writing. I JUST LOVE THEM OK?

Also minor disclaimer that Reader mentions being from Chicago in this, but has mentioned knowing small town mentality in Sales Pitch. She's from the suburbs, she's saying Chicago but she's from the suburbs. It's just what we do. (And if you're in the know but are suspish, she is not, I repeat, is not from Naperville.)

You can find my masterlist here for more featuring Eddie and his favorite Store Manager, and all of my other random Eddie Headcanons.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

---

"Tonight’s the night!"

"Yep."

"You going to meet her upstairs?"

"Uh huh."

"You seem nervous...you nervous Ed?”

"Really trying to keep my mind off it, man," Eddie grumbled and went back to counting down the registers and ignoring his boss' teasing.

Kyle was like the older brother Eddie never realized he wanted and now, after working together for a few weeks, was kind of glad he didn't actually have.

Eddie had been shitting bricks at his interview. This job was something he really wanted and he truly thought that he would be rejected immediately, knowing his reputation around town. But Kyle was not from Hawkins. He had been the manager at the Tape World at the Muncie Mall and then transferred when he heard that a new store at StarCourt was opening.

And in what was either the dumbest or smartest move ever, when Kyle asked if Eddie had any questions at the end of the interview, Eddie asked why he chose to move to the desolate pit that was Hawkins, instead of literally anywhere else.

"For some people, escape is a thousand miles away," Kyle explained. "And for others, it's like...an hour up highway 65."

Then Kyle offered him a job as a key holder, saying that had been the most insightful question he had gotten all day. (With the added bonus that Eddie was also over 18.)

Even after the official paperwork was filled out, after Eddie got his keys, after the first paycheck was cashed, after Kyle literally asked him one night after closing if he knew of any dealers in town that could hook him up, Eddie still felt like it was the biggest prank being played on him.

(Eddie gave him Rick's address because there was no way in hell he was going to sell weed to his own boss. He might be stupid but he wasn't dumb.)

And sure, Kyle could be a hardass sometimes, like any boss could be. He cared about his business. But he was so easygoing and took care of everyone. Made sure everyone was able to have the hours they wanted. He knew a lot about music and really challenged Eddie to be open minded about his personal music preferences.

He also ribbed Eddie to no end after you, "the cute chick from that jewelry place," brought him cookies during opening week.

"She thinks you're cute too by the way," Kyle insisted.

"That's hilarious," Eddie snorted. "She was super rude when she came in."

"Food beats rude, Ed. She likes you."

Eddie, of course, refused to believe it. He had seen his fair share of stuck up, fake, cheerleader types yanking his chain only to laugh in his face when he made a fool of himself.

So he stuck to the Munson Doctrine. And vowed never again.

When he told Kyle as much, Kyle just shrugged and ate the cookies himself. "Your loss man."

But Eddie kept seeing you around and you kept smiling at him. And then...well, he didn't really know what to make of you. One plus one was not adding up to two. And when you didn’t give up whatever game he was convinced you were playing, Kyle was inevitably there to play Devil’s Advocate.

“Just go and say hi. Or at least smile dude. God, no wonder people think you’re some evil brooding asshole. Kidding. I’m kidding. She’s new in town. Maybe she needs a weed dealer too. Or maybe she likes metal. Just go talk to her. Fuck it, ask her to hang out. What’s there to lose?”

So he took Kyle's advice, and that was probably the last thing he should have done because now he had a date. Was it a date? Neither of you had really specified. Eddie kicked himself when he got back to the store and realized that aside from the agreed upon Sunday after close and Pizza, no actual commitment to a date had been made.

All Eddie knew was, Kyle wouldn't get off his fucking ass about it.

"Ok so here's what you're gonna do," Kyle clapped him on the shoulder after they locked up and Eddie was about to head up to meet you. "You're gonna be really respectful--"

"I've got it."

"--and really cool, because you can kind of be a nerd sometimes--"

"I've gone on a date before, fuck."

"Did you or did you just fool around with someone at the back of a dark movie theater?" Eddie refused to look him in the eye and Kyle snorted. "I knew it."

He proceeded to give him some halfway decent advice before sending Eddie on his way. The advice was now bouncing around Eddie's head, along with every single shred of self-doubt he'd ever had, as he waited outside of your store.

You had smiled and waved when you saw him through the gate, and he was really trying not to stare as you wrapped up your own closing tasks. He fidgeted with his rings, he nodded as other mall employees he knew passed by on the way to the exit, he wondered if he would survive the fall if he just fell backwards over the railing overlooking the food court.

Surely a cracked skull would be better than everything he was feeling right now.

When you disappeared into the back for several minutes, Eddie let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. There really was no turning back now. He was going to be spending the rest of his Sunday with you.

He tried not to smile like an idiot, but he honestly couldn’t help it.

Finally, you made your return and ducked under the gate before locking it. When you turned to face him, Eddie stared and that smile disappeared as he went from giddy to utterly dumbstruck.

No neon, no scrunchies, no stacks of jingling bracelets. Your hair was down and the obnoxiously bright eyeshadow you were just wearing--that he could clearly see, even from outside of the store--had been wiped away.

"Hey, so I obviously drove to work," you closed the distance between the two of you, breaking Eddie from his reverie with a long string of words that, were he in his right mind, Eddie would have wondered whether you had practiced beforehand. "But I didn't know if you wanted to maybe drive and I'll pay for the pizza because I really don't know my way around yet except for home, work, and the grocery store. And if I just follow you and we get separated or something, you're probably gonna have to send a search party.

"Unless it’s kind of near Main Street then I’ll be…well if—what?" You raised your eyebrows when you noticed he was staring.

"What?" Eddie parroted, processing...well, just processing. Trying to figure you out once again.

You looked down at yourself and fidgeted where you stood.

Shit.

"Yeah I know, it's different," you shrugged down at your perfectly normal outfit. A Cherry Coke t-shirt, jean shorts, and a baggy sweater. "I thought...well it's just pizza…so I figured casual—”

"No, it's totally fine, I'm sorry. You look..." Eddie suddenly couldn't remember any of Kyle's advice.

He had been practicing the whole you look nice compliment with the picture of you that existed in his mind: The trendy store manager. Which, yeah did look nice on you, but was also a little intimidating, if Eddie was honest with himself. Those clothes were the same clothes as the girls who lived in Loch Nora who teased him because he lived in a trailer park. The high ponytail and scrunchies were the cheerleaders who laughed when the jocks pushed him and his friends around. All of it tied back to people he hated, people who hated him.

And now suddenly, that wasn’t you. It was a relief. He could look at you and not worry that some sharp, pain-inflicting words would be directed at him.

But the look on your face, the fidgeting, the stammering and backtracking. Eddie realized you were just as nervous as he was.

How many times had Wayne--or even Rick once or twice--said the kind of people who judged someone’s looks before their character were not worth having around anyway? Now here he was, doing just that.

Shit.

"I just wasn't expecting you to look--"

"Yeah," you laughed nervously, interrupting him. "I really only wear that stuff for work. It's a lot. And you kind of have to look the part. I think I mentioned that…before right?”

"It's fine, you look great," Eddie offered, gaining enough courage to stop you from feeling bad because of his stupid nerves and big mouth. "Really. I just...have never not seen you like that. And now—”

"It's silly. I feel silly wearing that stuff sometimes," you admitted, playing with the hem of your sweater. "And I do like some of it. The jewelry, for sure. But altogether...well it's still me. It’s just the me who also answers the phone in a different voice, and comforts kids when they're scared to get their ears pierced, and tells people what's on sale. And this is me when I'm not that."

You shrugged and held your arms out, and Eddie could clearly understand the unspoken "so take it or leave it."

Eddie took a second to process and then smiled again. Of course he would take it. He would be stupid not to.

"I get it," he nodded.

"Really?" you smiled. “Cool.”

"Cool." There was a beat. "So back to the original topic of conversation, I can definitely drive us around but there is no way I'm letting you pay for pizza. I'm the one who asked you to hang out, after all."

He started walking away, leaving you to protest as you followed.

---

There were only 3 really good pizza places in Hawkins, in Eddie's professional opinion: Lou's on 8th street, Pizzeria Uno which was conveniently in the same strip mall as the arcade and the video store, and Domino's. None of which had any indoor seating, which meant the two of you could sit in the back of Eddie's van with the doors open so you could enjoy the nice weather and talk.

Eddie, of course, had cleaned the van beforehand. All of the shit his friends left after gigs or when they stopped for food when he drove them home from Hellfire during the school year. Random empty baggies, magazines he really didn’t want you to see (yet…or maybe ever), and some other questionable things. It all needed to go.

And although you seemed a little hesitant when Eddie led you to his trusty chariot, you happily agreed to Eddie’s plans for the night.

“Sorry, I’m sure you get that reaction a lot,” you said as he helped you into the passenger’s side. “I dunno, van…suspicious.”

“Either that or they’re calling it a rusty old shitbox,” Eddie laughed it off, happy that you still seemed to trust him. “Which is even more offensive. Especially when it comes from my friends.”

“Listen, as the owner of my own rusty old shitbox, I can totally relate. And it’s not even that bad. No holes in the floor.”

The drive back into town was filled with Eddie’s own personal rubric for good pizza along with your comments.

“Pepperoni pizza.”

“Why pepperoni? Why not just cheese?"

"With a coke."

"Do you guys not drink RC here?"

"And ranch. I usually just pour it on, but I'll leave it on the side. For you. In case you like to dip your slice in."

"Of course you're a ranch guy," you scoffed.

"Of course you're not," Eddie challenged. "What's your perfect slice then?" And you went into a tirade that he, quite honestly, enjoyed watching.

Eddie honestly never thought he had ever had such an in-depth discussion about pizza with anyone (except when he got high at Rick’s, but that was mostly one-sided anyway). It really said a lot about you. Incredibly opinionated, but willing to stop every so often and hear his side of things. Willing to let yourself be convinced, let yourself be wrong.

Which he found out as he pulled into the Domino's parking lot on the first stop of the Pizza Tour and you finished off a passionate speech about red pepper flakes and "good parmesan" only to give him the most skeptical look.

"Eddie," you began. "When you said pizza--"

"This is pizza," he assured you.

"I'm from Chicago for one thing," you explained. "And besides that, I used to help my grandma cook as a kid, every Sunday, in her basement kitchen."

"Then you've never had Domino's before?" he assumed, correctly if your sudden fidgeting was any indicator.

So it wasn't gonna take much to make you nervous...noted.

"Just trust me--for today--ok? If you hate everything, you never have to see me again."

"Eddie! I--"

"But if you like it, then one day I'll let you make your grandma's pizza recipe for me.  And I'll trust you not to poison me."

It was a risky bet to make, on Eddie's part at least, because he really hoped this wouldn't be a one time thing. But you nodded and he grinned and left you in the van to choose something from his little box of cassettes while he ran inside to place the order.

When he got back he teased you and grilled you on other delicacies you might have missed out on thanks to the "gourmet cuisine" of your obviously superior upbringing. No Swanson TV dinners, no snack pack chocolate pudding, no sloppy joes, no chocolate milk.

"That's it," he threw his hands up in the air, looking to the heavens for guidance. "I'm going to have to teach you everything."

"Stop it, oh my god, Eddie!"

He grabbed your shoulders.

"Have you ever experienced the sweet taste of Mountain Dew," Eddie begged. "A Twinkie! Please tell me the truth; have you ever eaten a Hostess Cupcake?"

"Yes," you laughed as he shook you. "Yes I have. Stop!"

"Maybe you're not hopeless after all," he sighed in feigned relief. "There's still time to undo all that's been done to you." As though homemade dinners were some sort of torture.

When the order was ready, you toasted with your cans of coke and Eddie watched with great anticipation as you took your first bite of a Domino's pizza. You even dipped a little in the ranch dressing--just for him, you explained. You chewed thoughtfully and then took a second bite, this time from the crust.

Watching and waiting was torture for Eddie, sure, but he got to see you scrunch your nose in thought, bob your head side to side along with Blue Oyster Cult as it played lightly from the stereo, stare right back at him and enjoy the torture you were putting him through.

"What's the verdict, sweetheart," he asked. "I don't think my heart can take it anymore. I can drive us back to StarCourt right now."

"It's...good," you agreed and he whooped, punching the air in victory, before he took a slice for himself. "I'm still not a fan of the ranch though."

"That's fine. Different strokes for different folks," Eddie shrugged. "My uncle always says that."

---

Pizzeria Uno was next and Eddie mocked your look of relief as he pulled into the lot.

"You act like spending time with me is some kind of torture," he teased, secretly voicing some of the anxieties that he had been pushing down since you had agreed to hang out with him. He knew, even with a short amount of time in your company, that you were enjoying yourself, that you seemed to like being around him.

Historically, that hadn't stopped things from going south for Eddie though. There was still time to screw it up, if he hadn't already.

"I'm just happy that it looks like they use oregano in their sauce," you explained. "Maybe you do know your stuff after all."

"Hey, don't speak too soon," he teased. "There's a Chuck E. Cheese down the road; we could be headed there next."

He left you in charge of the music again, really interested in what you would pick this time, since you had started with--what he believed to be--the most mainstream tape he had in the van.

"Alright," he cheered as he stepped out of the shop and heard the shredding of Quiet Riot over the sounds of kids running around as they got dropped off at the arcade. "This is what I'm talking about."

"You didn't like The Cult?" you asked, still digging through the box as you kicked your legs out of the back of the van. "These are your tapes, right?"

"What you don't know is that this is all a test," Eddie began. "To see if you have taste."

"It's all metal," you emphasized. "Taste means variety. You're lucky I don't grab a tape out of my bag."

"Am I going to need to start you on music lessons too? Seems like it, since you don't think metal is variety." He jumped into the back and snatched the box from your hands. "Gimme that, it's quiz time.

"Metallica?"

“They’re good,” you nodded.

“Good?! Just good?!” Eddie knew it was better than he was gonna get from mostly anyone else in town, but he was still gonna give you shit for it. “You’re wounding me here, sweetheart.”

“Oh please!”

"My band's gonna be touring with them someday, so if you want to be on that VIP list, you're gonna need to do better than just good. Here," he passed his copy of Ride the Lightning off to you. "For tonight's homework."

“Homework!?” you laughed.

“Yeah,” he shook the tape in your direction and you reluctantly grabbed it. "I expect you to listen to that at the highest volume you can, til your ears bleed. There will be an essay due next Sunday." You rolled your eyes at him but smiled cutely and Eddie felt incredibly smug.

"Fine. I guess if I want to be on that VIP list," you said mockingly. "Tell me more about this band though. Are you any good?"

"You'll have to come to one of our shows and find that out for yourself. But yeah, the best you're gonna find in Bumfuck, Indiana." He puffed his chest out a little bit. "We play at the Hideout every Tuesday night. Not a big crowd or anything. It's just this little place anyway."

Eddie goes into detail about the bar, the makeshift little stage and the single spotlight, and the handful of regulars who probably don't even notice the music as they drink their troubles away anyway.

He doesn't notice the guilty look on your face for a few minutes.

"I close on Tuesdays," you mutter. "I'm sorry. It's one of those things when you work retail long enough, you get kind of set in your schedule."

"That's ok," he tried not to sound too disappointed.

"I could try trading with my ASM," you offered quickly. "Or maybe..."

"I-it's totally fine," he held his hands out. "Jeff's trying to get us on the schedule for the Hawkins 4th of July carnival in a few weeks anyway. So you might even see us there. Don't sweat it."

"Ok. Sounds like a plan. I'm sorry," you reached across and placed your hand on his.

"No worries." Eddie really doesn't want to pull his hand away from yours, but he needs to go back in and grab the food. It's been long enough, right?

When he returns, he basks in your cheers as you find the thin crust, party cut pizza, pre-sprinkled with red pepper flakes and no ranch in sight.

"Ok so Jeff," you recall after shoving the crunchy corner piece into your mouth. "You mentioned him before. Working on his confidence, right?"

"Yeah, not everyone can be as naturally charismatic as yours truly," he brags.

"Uh huh," you deadpanned. "Charismatic."

"You wound me, my lady. But yeah, Jeff used to jam with us...with the band from time to time. He's part of this club at school with me, and then..." Eddie pauses. "Well, then the band pretty much broke up last summer. I mean...we did break up. And it sucked because we'd been playing together for years.

"I was...kind of in a bad place. But Jeff said he could take over rhythmic guitar. Thus Corroded Coffin 2.0 was born. And I noticed he needed to build up his confidence more so I let him front every now and again. And he got his friend Dave on Bass, but it wasn't that hard to convince him, he's been worshiping Geddy Lee for years. And then Gareth on drums, which he said he could play pretty good, but the little shit was actually in an orchestra and played timpani.

"Can you believe it? What the fuck even is a timpani? Had us all fooled too, until we started practicing Hot for Teacher and he could barely keep up. But he's a lot better now, and like...he's stupidly good. Better than Mick ever was."

Eddie gets caught up for a second as he says a name he hasn't uttered for an entire year, after he told his childhood best friend he could go fuck himself.

Grow the fuck up Ed. This band was just some fun, it was never gonna get us out of Hawkins.

It wasn't gonna get Mickey out of Hawkins, because he already left. But it was gonna get Eddie out. It had to.

You clear your throat awkwardly, and Eddie appreciates you not bringing up the pain that he couldn't hide very well yet, the wound obviously too fresh.

"So, your club at school," you began instead. "Do you take classes nearby?"

Fuck. Well...if he hadn't scared you away yet, this might do it.

"You...could say that," Eddie hesitated. "I, um, am still at Hawkins High."

He watched all of the thoughts run clearly behind your eyes like they did when nearly everyone else found out he had failed senior year again. He had heard all of the whispers, the fake politeness. Some people weren't as polite and just said it out loud.

Eddie the Failure. Eddie the Idiot. Eddie the Freak.

"Oh, well shit, if I knew you were still in high school." Eddie looked away from you, unable to deal with seeing the disgust in your eyes. "I mean, Tape World is your first job right? Duh. I mean...Jimmy just got his first job too, god...how did I not...Ok. I should have asked. You do look a lot older than 16 though."

Eddie's head immediately snapped back to yours. You thought--

"I'm not...not 16," Eddie coughed awkwardly. "I'm 19. 20 in October."

"Wh--"

"I'm repeating senior year," he explained, still waiting for the penny to drop, for you to start laughing at him. "For a second time, actually."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Hey listen." Eddie steeled himself for the words he knew were coming. This has been fun but I'm a serious adult and don't want to hang out with someone who failed high school twice. Let alone date them. "Everyone learns at their own pace and yeah school sucks."

What?

"Is that like...any different than the kids who repeat kindergarten though?" You laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "My cousin Doug actually had to repeat kindergarten twice because he couldn't handle it and now he's running for Mayor back home. It's all relative."

Eddie was looking at you like you were the freak now.

"You don't care?" he asked.

"Not...particularly," you shrugged. "Do you...mind that I don't care? Is that weird?"

No one else wanted him around after he failed the first time. He believed. Let alone this second time.

Aside from his buddies who were still in high school. Wayne and Rick told him he could take the time he needed to finish up school...or get his GED, whichever made him happy. It didn't matter to them. And Kyle didn't really seem to mind either.

Would Eddie care if the tables were turned? Probably not. So why should it be weird if you didn't care.

"No," he finally answered. "It's...thank you for saying that. Everyone...is kind of shitty when they find out."

"Are they shitty because they find out?" you ask sagely. "Or are they just shitty to begin with? You don't want people like that around anyway."

No, he definitely did not.

---

It was dark by the time you got to Lou's. The dinner rush in full swing. Eddie suggested going somewhere else since the lot was small and already pretty full. You agreed but hopped out of the van before he could, insisting on paying.

"I'm trying to be a gentleman," Eddie protested, grabbing onto your arm before you could leave, trying to at least grab your wallet out of your hand if not stop you altogether. "My uncle would kill me if he knew I let you pay for dinner."

"You already paid for two pizzas, let me get this one!" You quickly pinched the skin on his wrist and he let you go, looking shocked and betrayed that you would stoop so low. "With two brothers and a bunch of cousins, you gotta think on your feet. Pick out some music. I have tapes in my bag too. You can snoop, I don't care."

The passenger door slammed shut and Eddie at least waited until you got into the shop before he grabbed your purse, unable to help himself since you gave him permission.

Rush, Moving Pictures. Dave would love you. Styx, Paradise Theater. Not really his thing but passable. The Smiths. Billy Joel. The 5th Dimension? Pass. Pass. Pass.

Ok so this is what you meant by variety.

He popped the tape out of your walkman. Boston. Ok he could get behind it.

He popped it into the stereo and winced as it skipped and dropped out, Brad Delp's voice warping every now and again. He wondered if "Hitch a Ride" was your favorite--interesting--or if the wear and tear was just bad on the whole tape. Very interesting.

Eddie ejected the tape and put it back into your walkman. Maybe something lighter, something with more meaning.

He twiddled his fingers for a second, about to reach for the box of tapes, before turning his attention to the glovebox and popping it open.

It honestly was the one spot he didn't worry about cleaning. The guys knew the glove box was off-limits. It was filled with the usual shit: napkins, vehicle registration, condoms, a forgotten joint that was hastily put out and thrown in that one time Callahan caught him and the guys parked up by the quarry. And then at the very back, rubber banded together, a couple of cassettes. 

The Monkee's Greatest Hits and More Greatest Hits.

You had inadvertently shared something with Eddie by letting him see your tapes, and now Eddie could share something with you.

Besides, you had both been sharing all night, whether you had planned to or not.

Was this a good idea though? It was a heavy topic, these tapes were something he typically would listen to on his own when he couldn't make it over to Rick's to listen to the records he had stashed there, no room for them in the trailer with all of his amps and other shit. He had gotten the tapes last year, after his falling out with Mick and the guys and...

Ugh don't think about that.

Well, if you hadn't been scared away yet, you probably would be now. No better way to end a first date than with some tears right?

"Edward I-dont-know-your-middle-name Munson," you exclaimed as you pulled the door open. "Why didn't we start here? Pizza by the slice and cannoli? I would say that I get to choose where we go next time, but I don't know what else there is, so I guess I have to trust you." You shoved the boxes at him as you climbed in.

"Gotta end the night on a high note sweetheart," he explained. "And next time?" He grinned cheekily.

"Yeah we're having a great time," you shrugged and took the boxes back once you were situated. "I'm having a great time, at least. Except for the part where you made me think I was spending the day with a literal child and gave me a stroke--"

"You did that to yourself," he chuckled and started driving. "But yes, I'm having a great time too. Except when you told me you've never had Chef Boyardee. I took that kind of personally."

"So did you snoop or what?" you asked as you spotted the tapes in his lap. "What are we listening to?"

He passed them over to you and took a breath.

"Oh cool, I love Daydream Believer," you nod and put the cassette in the stereo only for that exact song to start playing. You looked at Eddie in shock. "Shut up."

"It was my mom's favorite song," he explained. "I listen to it whenever...I need her with me. The whole album actually."

"Oh shit," you muttered. "Eddie, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one bringing up heavy shit when we're supposed to be having a good time." He scratched at the back of his neck. "I've kind of been stepping in it all night, haven't I?"

"No," you shook your head. "No, you've been sharing things with a friend. Important things."

"Right."

"And here I thought I was the one stepping in it," you admitted. "Maybe I have been if you need your mom's strength to finish this night out with me."

"Absolutely not," Eddie disagreed, laughing. "Listen, if anything, this is her stamp of approval. If you love Daydream Believer, she would have loved you. Dumped me off on the side of the road and you two would have driven down Highway 77 singing it at the top of your lungs together."

"Not you too?"

"I mean, yeah, but she used to drive this two-door car, and I would be too tall for the backseat now, but she wouldn't let a guest sit in back, so I would just be stranded."

Eddie started telling you about her as he drove. How she taught him how to play guitar, how she was an absolute sweetheart, how she did everything she could to protect him and take care of him, both when his dad was around and then once he was--thankfully--sent away. How she was hesitant to start dating Rick, and then hesitant again to let Rick meet him.

He got around to talking about Wayne and Rick a bit too, how they did their best to raise him once she was gone. How he knows it wasn't easy--it still isn't--but he did what he could now to make it up to them.

"Except finish school, apparently," he said in a self-deprecating way that had you tutting at him.

He finished his story by the time he made it to the destination, which just so happened to be Lover's Lake--Rick's house, more specifically, although the house was dark and locked up as Rick was out on business. Eddie backed the van up Rick's driveway so you could have a view of the lake from the back as you ate.

"Well thank you for sharing that with me, Eddie," you began as you settled into the back of the van. "That's...yeah that isn't easy to share with someone new. And it all sucks; it sucks, and you don't deserve that, but I'm sure your mom is still here with you."

"Yeah she is," he agreed. He's proud that he made it through without crying. "She's my angel."

He didn't believe in the divine. But he believed in his mom.

"She is," you smiled brightly and stared at him for a moment. You then turned and surveyed your surroundings. "This is nice, where are we?"

"Lover's Lake," Eddie answers offhandedly, then realizes his mistake as your head pops back and you look at him with wide eyes. "Not that I...that's just what it's called because it's shaped like a heart!

"Not that I wouldn't, because you look...but not that I would because this is just...we're just hanging out. This isn't a date or anything. Right?"

Fuck.

Kyle was not gonna let him hear the end of this.

Eddie was so caught up in his own misery that he missed the disappointed fall of your expression.

"No, that's fine, I get it," you chuckled lightly. "It's still really nice. We don't really have something like this back home. Well, the lake lake, and there are like...forest preserves, but it's not...nature, you know? Not like this."

"Furthest out of Hawkins I've ever been is Indianapolis," Eddie admitted. "So no, I guess I don't."

"Well I've never even been to Indianapolis and never left Illinois before coming here," you explained. "So I guess we're in the same boat. Maybe I'll get to show you where I'm from some day. Show you a real pizza tour."

"Hey, don't knock Lou's 'til you try it," Eddie teased.

"Thank you Eddie, tonight's been really great," you said sincerely.

"It has, hasn't it," he agreed. "So next Sunday?"

"Yeah?" you laugh. "What do you have in mind?"

You started eating as you discussed plans for the next weekend, and more talk of music as it's now Eddie's turn to give you shit for the tapes you had with you. You mentioned a few things about your own family, not going nearly as in-depth as Eddie did about his mother, but enough for him to get the gist.

And then Eddie opened the box of cannoli you had gotten and handed one to you, before taking one of his own.

"To new friends and Sunday nights," he offered as a toast.

"New friends and Sunday nights," you repeated.

---

Next Part: Standard Operating Procedures 1.02

Should I do a tag list? Does anyone want that? DM me or send me an ask if you wanna be tagged...idk.

[joe-spookyy]

asks you about american werewolf in london

hoooly shit it’s finally happened. someone asked me The question. thanks anon.

i am now going to try and sell you all on this movie cause i can’t recommend it enough and i think everyone should watch it. so: let me tell you a thing or two about hit 1981 horror comedy an american werewolf in london!!! and this is off the top of my head so if any of it is slightly off numbers wise im sorry. if you like 80s horror, men, queercoding, re-animator, the thing, jaws, saw, the lost boys, or just werewolves in general. hear me out on this one. link included to watch.

The Premise:

fresh off the heels of his cocaine fueled jazz musical masterpiece The Blues Brothers (1980), director john landis decided he was going to cook up the greatest film ever made. and he did. he was actually gonna have john belushi (jake blues) and dan akyroyd (elwood blues and yes the ghostbuster) play the two main characters, david kessler and jack goodman. now, who are these fellas? well i’m so glad you asked. david (played by david naughton) and jack (played by griffin dunne) are two dear pals from new york on a cute little backpacking trip across europe. david's the tall one. he's silly and gleeful to be out and about. jack is the short one. he's very much not gleeful about the fact that they're on the rainy moors and wishes they were in rome. together they find their way to a cute little pub and go inside, looking for hot drinks. the locals do not love this. they also do not love when jack asks them why there's a five pointed star on the wall (since lon chaney and universal studios assert that that's the mark of the wolfman!) it gets awkward. so they leave, with nothing but the warning to stay off the moors, stick to the roads, and beware of the moon. obviously, they do not follow this. wouldn't make for a very interesting movie if they did. and, as i'm sure you've assumed, they encounter a werewolf, leaving jack like this (dead):

and david, who survived the attack, with the curse of the werewolf. but fear not! david is transported to a hospital where he makes a lovely recovery, and jack um. well he stays dead. but he comes back to haunt david! he shows up a few more times in further states of decay to tell david that he really ought to just kill himself so that the curse is broken, jack and all the other werewolf victims can rest in peace, and david won't accidentally maul any additional civilians as a werewolf. hey while we're talking about jack heres me when i dressed up as him at a horror con. and the man himself.

anyways. hijinks ensue, and you're taken on a delightful romp across 97 minutes of fun as david tries to navigate life as... you guessed it. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON!

why it rules:

in my opinion, that's enough to make this movie flames as fuck. but if you're not convinced yet? let me tell you some more. first off. the practical effects on this bad boy are straight up excellent. they're done by my personal favorite vfx artist rick baker (who also worked on star wars, men in black, videodrome, king kong and more!), and he does not hold back. the picture of jack shows how nasty and detailed the wound is pretty well, but in action it's even better with all the nasty fleshy bits dangling and wiggling and eugh. it's gross. but it's so well done. and he does a terrific job showing how jack decays throughout the rest of the movie. but of course, what really matters is the werewolf. it's not called an american dead guy in london. which is good. cause that would be a dumb name for a movie. anyways. if we’re going to talk about the werewolf, we have to start with the iconic transformation scene. sped up.

wow! pretty impressive stuff right? it’s all practical, no cgi, and i think the way it’s almost drawn out and the relative silence of the scene adds to the impact it has, since it sort of forces the audience to sit with and feel just a little bit of the discomfort that david seems to be feeling. we just have to watch him scream in pain and beg for mercy. yeesh. now, the transformation scene is hard to top. but i think the final werewolf design is actually pretty solid. it’s distinctly not man, but it’s also distinctly not wolf. i would include a picture, but i feel like part of the allure of the film is how it (jaws style) doesn’t really let you get a good look at the monster itself until the end of the movie. it’s a great way to build the tension and leave a little bit up to the audience’s interpretation. and the audience will always imagine something way more horrible than you could have ever created. which is kind of beautiful. the first time i watched, i found myself kind of disappointed in the werewolf’s appearance - its face seemed to be stuck in a sort of permanent scowl. i was kind of lost, because i couldn’t imagine why a static face had won out over whatever the vfx team was clearly capable of making. but Oh. dear reader. when nurse alex price, david’s dear love, who cared for him in the hospital, allowed him to live with her, and even banged him, approaches the wolf. when she tells david she loves him. the wolf’s eyes soften. it begins to drop the snarl. see. i lied here’s part of the wolf. all snarly like and scary. before it melts at three simple words from alex. god.

it hits me like a huge truck every single time. rick baker never misses and this movie was certainly not an exception. he got an academy award for it and it was well deserved.

not so into the technical stuff? that’s okay. i have more to praise about this movie. it is one of the best blends of horror and comedy that i’ve ever encountered. although some of it looks a little dated, i do think it maintains its fear factor. it’s plenty gory, and in my humble opinion, the subway scene (you’ll know it when you see it) is one of the most effective bits of horror i’ve ever encountered. even when isolated from the film, it still packs a punch. but i’m not gonna put it here because i want you to just watch it with the rest of the movie. sorry. and on top of the horror, it’s honestly hilarious. if you don’t think seven dead people ganging up on one dude and listing ways he should kill himself in the middle of a porn theater while a porno plays very loudly in the background. well. i don’t know what to tell you. you probably won’t like this movie that much. also, the final needle drop over the credits at the end is so abrupt and so funny. love it.

and of course, being an 80s horror movie with two male leads. i’m sure you can guess what i’m going to say. it is not hard to read jack and david as friends, but it’s also not very difficult to read them as having a little something going on. like love. fellas is it gay to go on a little trip across england with just yoh and your best bro? hard to say. textually, i do think it’s kind of telling that every time jack shows up, it’s either right after or while david is having a heterosexual experience (flirting with alex, banging alex, watching straight porn in the porn theater.) it’s almost like… something other than jack… is haunting david. i dunno. i’m not a cop. but it’s interesting. seems like something the average tumblr user might like to keep an eye on, so i’m letting you know. also they have a conversation while david is completely naked which is like. hello. plus the inherent queerness of the werewolf narrative is something i could talk about for HOURS and was especially prevalent, alongside vampire movies. in the 80s during the aids crisis. my short essay on this ⬇️

also, there’s a classic john landis third act car crash scene, where, in the same vein as the blues brothers, an obscene amount of cars are absolutely demolished.

also also, the muppets make a brief appearance in this movie. this made me jump for joy, because i love the muppets. and you should too.

fun and true facts

still not sold? well, check out this last ditch effort in the form of fun facts. or, if you just want to know more, read on.

micheal jackson was so impressed by the effects in this movie, particularly the transformation scene, that after seeing it, he promptly hired rock baker (vfx guy) and john landis (director guy) to work on the music video for his hit song thriller. you’ve probably seen it, but if not, go watch it. tbh, even if you have seen it before, go watch it again.

david naughton was a doctor pepper spokesman before the filming of this movie. he was in at least a few bits of promotional material, including at least one commercial. unfortunately he lost the job because of the amount of time he spent dick out in this movie. doctor pepper did not want that to be the representation of their brand. cowards, the lot of them.

speaking of his dick, you actually never fully see it at any point in the movie despite the fact that it seems they never felt like telling david to wear pants on set. there is a reason for this! david (character) is jewish and canonically circumcised (dunno how else to put it) and david (actor) is neither of these things. so, to avoid ruining the realism in his. werewolf movie. john landis took great care to never show the whole thing.

the american ambassador who visits david in the hospital is played by frank oz, who also voices miss piggy. because of her brief cameo, he technically plays two different roles in this movie, although miss piggy is simply credited as “Herself” in the end credits of the movie. he also voices yoda which isn’t relevant but it is really funny to me.

see you next wednesday, which is the name of the porno in the movie, is actually a fun john landis easter egg! many of his movies include the phrase “see you next wednesday.” it’s also seen on posters in the subway scene.

in the scene where jack first visits david in the hospital, he was supposed to take a bite of david’s toast, after which it would immediately fall out of his ruined and torn to shreds throat. however, it was cut for being too gross. which is sad i feel like it could have been funny.

when david calls home to talk to his parents, he mentions two siblings: rachel and max. these are the names of the directors children in real life.

griffin dunne, who plays jack, also appears as the family therapist in a season 2 episode of succession. this was a jumpscare.

while they were filming the naked in the zoo scenes, they were unable to actually close the zoo, so when filming carried on past the opening time of the park, they just kept going and allowed butt naked david naughton to run loose around the zoo. they did, however, succeed in closing piccadilly circus for the car crash scene.

in the beginning when jack is being attacked by the werewolf, it was in fact half a wolf prop on the front of a wheelbarrow. this is a very funny vision for me.

jack is right - the five pointed star is considered the mark of the wolfman, according to 1941’s The Wolf Man, played by lon chaney junior and produced by universal pictures. the guy knows his stuff. interestingly, rick baker did the makeup for the 2010 remake of the wolf man as well. he did pretty good, i think.

this isn’t even about this movie but blues brothers is an awesome film too and a fun fact about that one is there was a whole part of the budget devoted to buying cocaine. and you can tell. great movie.

director john landis did in fact kill three people the year after this movie came out. so. i do feel a little bad promoting it because jesus christ. but. no harm no foul in pirating it. it’s one easy internet archive search away. and sometimes it’s on tubi. but just in case, here’s the internet archive link. https://archive.org/details/an-american-werewolf-in-london

so. anyways. please check out this baller ass movie and talk to me about it. thank you so much to whoever asked this. i love you. thanks for reading. bye.

[violetarks]

"dearer than i?"

anime: attack on titan

character: reiner braun

summary: an eldian warrior falls for the forbidden enemy, and he knows he would sacrifice anything for you. or, at least he would if he could.

warnings: g/n! reader, second person pov, heavily based off that tiktok trend going around atm (yknow the one), just a quick fic, wanted to try my hand at angst

you're not the first to find out about his secret. and you're definitely not the last. people from inside the walls that you protect, they find out within the week. you don't know how you could've been so blind, so dumb. falling for someone like reiner... falling for someone at all. you were a soldier, for god's sake. not some lovesick fool.

but you sure did feel like one.

how he made you feel like a lovesick fool, and how much you loved it, loved him. you can't wrap your head around it, even as you cry in your sheets and hide all the presents he had given you — soft blankets, a now dried flower from his visit outside the wall — just so you could keep them. you couldn't throw them out, no, that would be barbaric. you... just need them here, for your sake.

he didn't even look at you when you called his name, pleading for him to come back and surrender. you begged him to stay home, to stay with you, and you were faced with the sheer rejection he unwillingly showed you as he escaped. how could you love someone who has left you behind in the remnants of his lies?

you criticise him for being such a beautiful man, who loves you more than either of you could ever love yourselves. but now you know why. because he could never forgive himself for what he was about to do to you, your family, and your home.

you could never forgive him.

which is why you are so utterly confused when you see a note in your room, on your desk, asking you to meet him at your special spot. he signs it with his name, handwriting rough as always and slightly more rushed.

you almost don't believe it's him. why would he write to you now? a long time after he left you. what right did he have?

you want to crumble it all up and throw it out the window, or burn it and let your bedroom go up in flames as well. you want to sell him out. you could bring levi, eren, mikasa or literally anybody else, they could hide in the shadows and strike when you have him at his most vulnerable.

it would be poetically miserable, an untimely ending. revenge tasted sweet on your tongue.

but you held it. your heart had it in a headlock, and it forced you to keep that note a secret, and it pushed your legs up that mountain, trekking through the heavy greenery. it made you look back at the talk blonde, with such broad shoulders that you had hugged so tightly your heartbeat could mould into his.

he is tired, he is sad when he sees you. he almost wishes you hadn't come. because he can see how tired you've become over the three years he left you here. you stare back at him, but you don't look mad or upset. you simply soak in the sight of him.

he will never forget the blood that seeped through your uniform, how even after he had caused your injury, you still chased after him with your gear when your horse was killed amongst the thrown rubble.

your hair is the same, you must've been maintaining it. you need to keep up appearances; the soldiers that were put under your command look up to you, they need to know how strong you are. and reiner can see that.

but you have a scar across your collarbone. namely, the place where debris of the village had hit you when he and his fellow warriors made their escape. he remembers watching you fall under the crumbled stone and wood. your yell of pain as you threw your head back, and he could see metal protruding from your upper shoulder, cutting quite roughly through the top of your trapezius, deep enough to leave the bumpy scar between your neck and shoulders.

bruises covered your body, and you have a bandage around your hand. you've always been a hard worker. and you'll beat yourself to death if it meant to get over him.

yet here you are...

what happened?

"you came." reiner says, voice low and just above the sound of the wind. it's midnight, just after, and he watches you in your shirt and your thick jacket covering your shoulders. he can't muster up a smile.

and neither can you. the note crunches in your fist. he watches. your voice comes out louder than his, just barely. "you called."

devoid of any true emotion.

he stands just four feet away from you, and if he shuffled he could engulf you in his arms. but he doesn't deserve it.

"why are you here?" you ask, suddenly in control of the conversation.

"i wanted to see you."

"why?"

"did you not want to see me?" when you don't answer, he fills the silence. "i missed you."

"do you, now?" a sense of doubt lingers in your tone. reiner nods carefully. "do you regret leaving?"

"i don't know." he says, rubbing his cheek. he isn't sheepish, he used to rub his cheek when he was nervous or he was flustered by you. you used to find it endearing, now you find it infuriating. you want to cut off his hand. "i don't know."

he repeats himself like a broken record and you step forward, your stance confident as you let the the cold air of the cliff push your hood off of your head. "would you have stayed if... if i did something?" you ask, brows upturned in desperation, "what could i have done to prevent you from leaving? what made you... stay with me in the first place?"

"i didn't want to fall in love with you, y/n, i promise that what we had was never planned. i didn't want it when we began." his words should hurt you even more, add fuel to the fire, but you find yourself momentarily thankful. "i stayed that long because i loved you more than my purpose. i loved you so much that i would disregard what i was meant to be doing. i just wanted to love you and have you. i wanted nothing more."

you won't cry for him. you won't shed one single tear for this dunce. not with how he stared at you when you were enrolled, not with how he kissed you out of nowhere when celebrating your graduation, not with how he made you feel like he would never leave you. no, you won't cry for him now.

he cries. he has tears running down his chin, but his tone keep steady. as if he's been practicing. the sight of you makes his heart lump in his throat.

"but... there was nothing you could've done to keep me here, y/n. i'm sorry." he makes you feel like you're not enough anymore. a plaything, a toy for him to drag around while he holidayed within the walls. reiner makes you feek like a fool. "i had to leave. and i couldn't take you with me. you don't belong with the people of my home. they would hurt you."

"more than you did?" you scowl, balled up fists as you glare at him. your heart pounds in your ears and your face feels like it's heating up. reiner's cool facade breaks, and he begins to wipe his tears away. "how could anyone hurt me more than you have?"

reiner speaks through his palms, "i don't know..."

"you never know." your voice is harsh, it's similar to the irritation that those soldiers spit to him when he is home. but the malice in your tone is different. far, far more hurtful. "why do you never know? you don't know any reason to stay, you don't know why you didn't just leave me alons, you don't know why you promised me the world and left with everything i was."

hands grip the edge of his coat. marley's colours litter his person, but nobody would notice. not with how well he had hidden it. but you'll remember the uniform of that bastard who killed your commander, who was playing a game with the lives of all your comrades. and you will never forget how reiner shares that same uniform.

reiner cries more, he watches you take another step forward and his fingers tangle in his jacket. you leave footsteps and leave a pang in his heart.

"i can't believe i fell in love with you! i—i wish i had never met you, reiner! annie was fucking right, i thought she just hated you, but she was just trying to save me!" you shout, anger lacing your throat as you throw the crumbled note into his chest. you're crying. you cry when you're angry. he knows, and he knows how much you wished you weren't crying. it drips onto the dirt. "i... i can't believe you would do this us... why didn't you choose us, reiner? after everything we all did together, you still chose to leave?"

he's going to give you the same answer, and you know it. you wait for him, though. a habit that just refuses to die with your memories of him. reiner holds the end button of his jacket, and he looks back at you with those puppy dog, sad eyes that he would give you when he accidentally made you upset. but you don't fold over this time.

you're in arms length.

reiner misses you the most at night. after a couple years of saying 'goodnight' to each other, holding one another as an excuse to keep warm, kisses of comfort, it's hard to go back to your life before. reiner finds it just as difficult. he waits, and waits, and waits for you to come into his bedroom and kiss him, sneak under his sheets and sleep in with him until an hour before you were to wake. but you never come.

"why didn't you just stay? we would've... you could have stayed." you say, scrambling for that piece of you stil loved him. it wasn't hard to find. you still looked at him the way you used to when you were upset with him, looking for some sort of reasoning. that was hard to find. "why did you do it?"

"i don't know." his voice is even more desperate than before.

when your fist collides with his jaw, sending his head up and his body falling back, reiner swears he's seeing stars. maybe that's because he was, having now been faced to the night sky. but there's no doubt that your punch had knocked his smarts back into play.

you're on top of him in an instant, tears rushing down your face and landing on his chest. you sit atop his hips, yanking on his collar to pull him up at you send another punch.

"i hate you! i can't—!" you begin to angrily call, reeling back to hit him again. you watch his face bloody. but it's not enough. it won't ever amount to the blood that was spilled those days he attacked your home. you will bruise your fists, bleed yourself for your revenge. "we will never forgive you, reiner. i will never forgive you!"

reiner's instincts kick in at your sixth hit, and his hand that was resting on your hip, keeping you in place, now comes up to catch your wrist, stopping your punches.

but you bring your other hand, backhanding him. "you ruined my life! you promised me you'd..." you mutter out, choking on your sobs, "why couldn't you just listen to me? i said you could come home! you didn't have to abandon me!"

your knuckle burns after the second impact, and you go back for a second shot when reiner lifts himself to sit up, making you shift back to sit in between the circle of his legs. your heels under the bump of his hips, you grasp the hand covering your wrist, trying to yank him away.

"y/n—"

"you left me."

"i didn't want to, y/n, i love you." he claims, and you watch as smoke covers the injuries you put upon him moments ago. it heals him.

"then why did you leave?" you gulp, swallowing the tears that were yet to come, "why didn't you choose me?"

he takes in a deep breath. his scruffy facial hair drew wet from his tears. his eyes are dark but brows are upturned as he stares at you. "i would've chosen you."

"but you didn't." you say, tight fists in his hands, "you still chose the home that threw you away..."

he can't explain why he did it. because he doesn't quite know. maybe it's because of how he was brought up, how he was sent so young to take down the enemy. but that isn't good enough.

"you can still come home with me." your voice sounds like as sweet honey, and he sees your gently link your fingers through his. your eyes are still red, but you look at him. that part of you that loves him is pulling through. "you don't have to leave again."

he holds your hand tighter. they've become rougher, callouses cover your palms. he sighs out, "if i go back to marley, then we can't be together." his warm hands catch yours, desiring your touch. he longs for your hold. your heart sinks. "but if i never return, i turn on my family and my country. they're... they mean the most to me..."

"the family who sent you off to war at such a young age to simply dispose of the ridicule they face? the country who forced you to infiltrate my home while you were barely a teenager?" you scowl, standing up and peeling your hands out if his. he drops his hands onto my lap, watching you take a step away from him. "they mean more to you, than i do?"

he takes a deep breath, and lets it out. silence follows, drawing on more and more. he won't answer you.

"you said you'd choose me if you could. you can, right now." you say, staring down st him, "but you aren't, reiner... you... you still won't choose me."

"i'm sorry."

"that's not good enough." you respond, wiping your face, "i'm sorry, but if you don't come back with me, then i'm sending my unit after you."

"stay a little longer. please." he pleads, standing up again.

"i can't." you respond, walking back towards the forest, "listen to me, reiner. come home and i'll make sure we sort everything out." eren wants to kill him. levi wants revenge. mikasa is willing to do anything to protect her family. you could try, though. you glare back at him. "but you'll give me no choice if you go back. i'll make sure to be the one to end you if you continue being our enemy."

reiner drops his shoulders. all the tension fills the air between your gazes. his heart swells at your words, and your hard gaze turning gentle.

"i'm sorry, reiner." you murmur, turning your head and looking at the grass beneath you. the moonlight sets your path home ablaze.

he smiles softly at you. "it's okay. i wouldn't want it to be anybody but you." he tells you, "i still love you."

your eyes train on the floor as your shove your hands in your pocket. a heavy breath leaves you, "i promise i'll spend the last moments of your life with you."

when you leave, reiner feels better. he shouldn't, you rejected him and refused to stay any longer at his side. you said you would send people after him, you'd kill him. but he feels better.

he wonders how long it'll last this time.

[huckleberrykai]

choi beomgyu ~ call it what you want

pairing: beomgyu x soobin's sister!reader summary: when you and beomgyu start dating, you aren't sure how to tell your brother. genre: brothers best friend, kinda friends to lovers warnings: fem!reader, pet names, this is the first time i tried fake texts lol, some swearing word count: 1.9k click here for my masterlist!

you didn't mean to fall in love with him. you really didn't.

after spending some time abroad, you decided to go back to korea since you missed your family, and the safe nostalgia of your hometown. you hadn't seen your brother since he debuted, and you were so excited to meet his friends and crash at their dorm for a week before you went to stay with your parents.

and then beomgyu happened.

he knew you were off limits and vice versa, but neither of you were ever one for following the rules. it's like you were magnets, wherever one of you went the other couldn't help but follow.

you got close pretty quickly, as you did with all of the boys - they just loved your laidback personality, unlike your leader brother soobin.

you spent the week playing video games, board games, cooking together, and even helping them clean up around the dorm ~ they were boys after all.

and when your week was over, they begged you to stay.

beomgyu's heart started breaking as soon as you started packing your suitcase, and he begged you for your phone number before you left - and that's where it all began.

you did leave that day, but you spent your entire train journey texting beomgyu, sending each other memes and silly selfies to fill your time.

you couldn't help but giggle at your phone as you got to your parent's house. you usually wouldn't be so bold but beomgyu was just so funny and so so sweet - you weren't gonna let him get away just because your brother would be mad. what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him <3

when wednesday rolled around, beomgyu made some dumb excuse about going to a game store with heesung. kai tried to tag along - spurting something about a pokémon game he really wanted to buy. "they don't.. they don't sell pokémon there!"

"huh? what game store doesn't have pokemon?" kai was puzzled.

"uh, this one! and it's a private event... sorry hyuka!"

smooth gyu. real smooth.

after a few more excuses and fixing his hair for the 5th time, he put on a mask so he wouldn't be recognised and plodded over to the cafe, just a few blocks away. when he got there he noticed he was about 10 minutes early, so he sat at a table and sent you a text to let you know he was there.

his heart nearly fell out of his ass when his vision went black, your cold hands covering his eyes. "guess who!"

"holy shit Y/N you scared the shit out of me!!" you giggled at his dramatics as he clutched a hand over his chest. you grabbed his other hand and dragged him over to order with you.

you bought the drinks for the two of you, much to his dismay. "Y/Nieeee i wanted to pay for you," he pouted cutely. "it's okay beomie, you can pay next time ~" you cooed. his cheeks flamed red at how cute you were, but mostly at you insinuating you wanted to hang out with him again already.

"next time huh? what makes you think i wanna hang out with you again?" he couldn't miss the opportunity to tease you. "well, there's your blushy little face... and your stubbornness to pay me back, i'd say there's gonna be at least one more date." he felt even warmer at that comment.

"date?"

"well duh." you giggled. at his silence you suddenly got nervous, "unless you don't want it to be! that's okay too! like a friend date!" you frantically tried to cover for yourself while beomgyu was still processing you assuming it was a date. "no no no i want it to be a date! i really want it to be."

his voice became small and he had a shy little smile on his face, looking at you with big sparkly eyes. you were about to respond when the barista called your names to collect your drinks.

your date went really well! so well in fact that you went on another one only two days later. beomgyu finished his schedules early, so while the others decided to go out shopping and to see a movie together, he politely declined. they didn't ask what he was doing instead and he was definitely grateful - his excuse game was a tad... lacking.

he met you at the river, he'd planned to take a cute walk with you along the riverside and visit his favourite ice cream shop. he knew he was whipped the second you ordered mint choc chip and he didn't even care, didn't even bat an eyelid. he even paid for it. you did promise to let him pay after all ~

beomgyu thought the date was going well, so his confidence spiked a little when he looked over to see the smile that hadn't left your face all afternoon. as you walked, he switched his ice cream over to his left hand and used his now free one to lace your fingers with his gently.

your hand felt warm in contrast to his cold one, and he gave it a little squeeze.

when you squeezed him back he felt his heart soar and gave you a look of complete adoration. yeah, he was whipped ~

a few weeks of little dates, sneaky meetings and a whole lot of texting led to him thinking about you 24/7. the members had started to notice something was up, but beomgyu just stuck to his excuses - and he was sick of it. he wanted you to be his, and to be able to tell the whole world how much he liked you.

by the world he meant just his friends and family - he wasn't going to subject you to more idol hate or stalking than you already got just for being soobin's sister, but that didn't make him want you any less. you understood him - you understood his job, his wildest dreams, his insecurities, his childish moments, all of him - and he appreciated you beyond words.

he didn't want to text you so late when he knew you'd be busy tomorrow - you finally got an apartment in the city and you were moving a few things early tomorrow morning - but he knew if he didn't use this rush of confidence and adrenaline now, he didn't know when he'd be able to do it.

his brain was running at 100 miles an hour, he just wanted to shove his face in a pillow and scream. he'd just bagged the girl of his dreams over text like a loser, but he succeeded!! and the only catch was the fact she was soobin's sister. yeah maybe he broke the one rule regarding his sister that he gave him, but he'd get over it, right?

he'd break as many rules as he had to if it got you to call him gyubear again.

it was d-day. it had been about a week and a half since you made it official, and now that you had your own apartment you could spend more time with your silly boyfriend in the comfort of your own home, but he could only make so many excuses for sneaking off - and so you devised a plan.

you'd convinced soobin to let you come over to hang out, and when the others caught wind of the idea they jumped at the chance to hang out with you again ~ so saturday night, you'd spill the beans.

when you arrived, your boyfriend and brother were still huddled on the couch eating ice cream, and you couldn't help but giggle at them. "hey lovebirds, am i interrupting?" you joked. beomgyu went wide eyed and soobin just gave you his iconic stink eye.

"Y/N! welcome back!" taehyun greeted you, walking past on his way to the kitchen.

it was nice being in the company of the boys again, but keeping your flirty remarks with beomgyu at bay until after dinner proved to be more difficult than you thought. he'd find himself stopping halfway through his sentences when he realised he was about to slip up and just stop talking.

you bought everyone takeout for dinner, and you all sat around the kitchen table talking about things that had happened recently. "yeah so we found this HUGE rat in the dorm and-" "oh yeah! beomgyu told me about that, that must have been terrifying!" you cut into yeonjun's story without thought.

"huh? since when do you talk to beomgyu?"

oopsies.

"uh, last time we were here she gave me her number! so we could uh... play fortnite!" beomgyu tried to cover for you - but failed miserably.

"Y/N hates fortnite... what's going on?" soobin wondered.

"do we just say it?" beomgyu asked you as if everyone else weren't literally sat at the same table. "well now you've said that we'll have to." you dropped your fork giving him an angry look. he knew there was no bite behind it, but he still felt bad for fucking up - although, you fucked up too.

"say what?" yeonjun asked the obvious, shoving another forkful of salad in his mouth.

"we're dating." you clarified. yeonjun stopped chewing and just looked at you with his jaw hung open. soobin looked mortified, letting out a meek "w-what?"

"before you get mad, it didn't happen on purpose! well it did, but we just wanted to keep in touch and then... i don't know we started spending more time together and... yeah."

"if you're gonna be mad at anyone be mad at me, i asked for her number anyway," beomgyu added. "it was me you told not to try anything, not her."

it was a rare moment where beomgyu was genuinely serious. you meant a whole lot to him and he'd be damned if he let your brother be mad just because he was in love with you.

"i'm not mad."

both of you let out a sigh of relief before soobin began again. "how long?" he asked. "we've only been official for like, 10 days? but we've been talking since i came here last time."

soobin nodded in thought. "it's okay, i know you can't choose who you love and i'm not gonna police you just because you're my baby sister. i'm trusting you beomgyu." although his words were accepting, gyu still felt threatened. "thank you soobin. i promise to take care of her." noticing his discomfort, you held his hand under the table. "i'm just sad you didn't tell me sooner. i mean, i guess i didn't make it seem like i'd be happy for you so i get it, but congratulations."

"see, that wasn't so bad? thank you for your blessing soobin." you smiled at your older brother, who gave you a nod in return before going back to his food. the table was silent for a few seconds, until it was broken by a flabbergasted kai who still hadn't quite processed what just happened.

"so is nobody else gonna acknowledge the fact that BEOMGYU is the least bitchless person at this table?"