#and if you dont like the way ive written him then by all means fuck off and find one of the million swoony romance fics with him and a mage

[killuintense]

OMG, I JUST READ UR STEPDAD LEON FIC AND BITCH I COULDVE BUSTED A NUT. THAT SHIT WAS PUSSY DRIPPING PERFECTION, I DONT THINK IVE EVER READ SMUT THAT FUCKING GOOD.

You’ve got MAJOR talent, oml

❝ catch us if you can ❞

stepdad!leon kennedy x fem!reader.

summary: just Leon being a very cuddly stepdad to you.

content: 1.8k words, p in v, smut, creampie, breeding kink, size kink, soft dom leon, porn with some plot i think, thinking abt do a serie abt stepdad!leon. you have another part to read if you want.

note: thank you for your words !! i haven't written in a while but your message inspired me to follow this version of the Leon that i like so much, i hope you like this little gift ;)

The headboard of your mother's bed was banging frenetic and messily against the wall of the room. If you weren't with both legs spread in such an obscene manner, you could have seriously worried about the neighbors' complaints and the problems that would mean, but, come on... there would be time to worry about that, maybe when you didn't have your stepdad fucking you with all his might against his wife's matrimonial mattress, and you weren't moaning in such a pathetic way.

Leon's cock was plunging inside you and pounding your womb with a precision that was nothing short of bringing you to the brink of starting to shed the first tears, his bare chest pressed against your tits, crushing them, while his mouth carelessly kissed yours and saliva leaked out shamelessly. His rhythm was messy and desperate, as if he sought to please you no matter what, but couldn't fight that instinct to fuck you with total selfishness as soon as he felt you squeezing him like a bitch in heat seeking to leave him without even the last drop. "Baby, baby, fu-fuck" he moaned pulling away from the kiss as the squeaking of the poor wood of the bed got louder and louder "Stop squeezing me like that, for the love of god... I swear when I cum I will fill you so full of my cum I will give you a beautiful baby" a small squealing moan came from your lips as both of his hands played with your tits squeezing and pampering them just like he knew how to do "Is that what you want, love? To be fucked so hard then swell these beautiful tits even more, don't you?" inevitably your legs trembled at his tone of voice and your hands clutched at his back, clawing at him in the same rhythm as his balls hit your skin hard and his fingers were soaked with the juices you slowly started to produce being close to your orgasm.

"Leon!" you moaned desperately "Da-daddy, please, I'm going to cum, stop it!, I-" he deep chuckle was heard as it mingled with his guttural moans as he felt himself suffocating inside you because you were at your limit inevitably bringing him to his. And, fuck, it would sound fucked up to him but it warmed him up so much to hear you calling him 'daddy', with that soft and aching little voice, like a little kitten looking for his caresses no matter what. For that very reason he paid no attention to you, and his onslaught became more and more erratic and didn't stop even though a scream of pleasure made itself in your throat as you felt that heat in your abdomen dissipate and expand into a strong orgasm, squeezing with your legs around his hips so that he stayed pounding into that sweet spot inside you. Even Leon should have used a condom, but that feeling he got from cumming at the same time as you and having hot spurts of cum fill his girl completely drove him crazy whenever you fucked, the idea that even when you both pulled away his essence would still be in your body.

"Shit, babe" he grunted, penetrating you one last time until he felt his base was completely inside you, thus being able to see the tip of his cock hit your stomach and protrude slightly, causing you to spasm hard as a consequence of having fucked you even through your orgasm. He was sweaty and felt heavy against you, sinking into your neck as you tried to regulate your breathing and he the same, gently kissing your skin with marks from his mouth. You felt his two-day-old beard prickle and tickle, stealing a chuckle from under you.

"You kind of have a lot of beard already, don't you, old man?" you joked and ripped a chuckle from him causing him to settle into your side, slowly pulling out of you. Inside you and without wanting to admit it out loud that puzzled you, feeling that annoying emptiness that meant not having him inside you. He was always so thick, big, filling you up and making you feel complete.

"I thought they were one of the things that made me charming" he replied, stealing an exaggerated sigh jokingly from you as your hand stroked his dull golden hair. His forehead still had hairs softly sticking to it from sweat and his mouth wouldn't leave your side, now kissing your shoulder softly.

You couldn't remember when it had become so normal between the two of you. At what point you stopped feeling so much guilt and stopped avoiding each other out of embarrassment giving way to simply letting things flow. Although the first few times they wanted to avoid the desire to be together, avoiding each other in the corridors of the house, or arriving late for dinner so as not to see the three of them together at the table, in the end they always ended up meeting in one way or another in the bedroom kissing and ending up fucking. It was inevitable, they could not avoid that things went up a notch with the need to touch each other more and more, to suck, bite, lick, kiss each other's body without fear of being discovered.

There was something in Leon that made you look for him when you felt bad, overwhelmed by your problems, maybe that helpful way of doing things and protecting you, of laughing with you at night while he hugged you and kissed your hair sweetly, that nice way of just being with you without the need to do or say anything. Like that moment where he had you cuddled on his chest, with that warmth flowing from his skin as they talked about whatever the fuck they were talking about during the day. That soon he had to go on one of his stressful work missions and he would miss you, and you asked him to bring you a souvenir like he always did, trying not to get too emotional worrying about what it would mean to be without him for so many days.

However, before you wanted to continue talking, the door to the main entrance opened, creating noise downstairs. Your mother had returned earlier than expected.

You both jumped out of bed and quickly grabbed your clothes from the floor which luckily were nothing more than a t-shirt and your panties, looking confused at each other. One look was enough to know that you just had to quickly lock yourself in your room; you didn't think much about it in fact, and before locking yourself in you watched as Leon arranged the unraveled sheets and put on his clothes as quickly as he could. Your mother's voice began to be heard as she came up the stairs and by then you locked the door to your room to make sure you didn't get any surprises. You began to despair, you didn't know exactly what to do and worse, you didn't know what Leon was supposed to do. You stuck your ear to the wood of the door, which luckily was thin enough to hear what was happening on the other side.

"Leon, honey, I'm back!" your mother said once she was upstairs, the shower head could be heard falling lightly and your stepfather's voice sounded muffled as he let her know he was showering. As always, a man of effective plans. "Oh, I understand, honey, thank you for taking my advice and opening the windows, the room needed airing out" she told him and you thanked God for making him a man attentive to detail, as the smell of sex was going to be all too evident, ever since you woke up that morning Leon hadn't let you rest for a second. It was morbid to think that in the same bed where your mother was relaxed right now, a few minutes ago you were having the best orgasm of your life... with her husband.

Interesting.

Seeing that they were out of danger and calmer, you changed and a few minutes later you went out to greet your mother, with the excuse that you were too busy with college work to go out to greet her. And everything continued normally, Leon came out showered and dressed in new clothes (clothes that did not have your sweet perfume impregnated in them), greeting her affectionately with a kiss and a hug, and you caressing your hair as if it were a father to his daughter, surprised for not having seen you all day, according to his words. No ulterior motives. A happy family.

It was midnight and silence lay in the house, everyone was in their respective rooms and you were boredly flipping through the various channels offered by your television. You were about to continue on your interesting task of lounging around when your door was softly knocked and Leon's voice was heard on the other side, asking your permission to enter. You laughed internally, reminding yourself of the first time you were together. "Come in, silly" you laughed, and he appeared, closing the door behind him, with that soft, charming smile on his face. He was in his pajamas, apparently they had gone to bed a while ago but for some reason he decided to show up in your room (not that it bothered you at all, as it was customary for it to happen).

"Hey..." he mumbled not so loudly so as not to create disturbing noises and wake your mother from her deep sleep, approaching your bed at a lazy pace "Is there space for one more?" he asked and you laughed, leaving a gap next to you big enough for him to get in even though, as always, you loved that feeling of being squashed in like a big bear. "I'm sorry it all happened so abruptly today, you know how it is..." you could feel the tone of guilt in his voice, not so much for what they were doing, but for making you feel displaced in a way. And the last thing he wanted was for you to feel like he just wanted you to hang out for a little while, and then just kick you out of the room.

"You know that I know how things work, Leon, I'm not a little girl" you said letting his arms wrap around you, making your cheek squish into his fluffy pecs. You planted a soft kiss there and bit down, making him chuckle softly at the gentle tickle.

"Sure, you're not a little girl, though you keep biting me like one" he chided with that loving tone that you could easily mistake for paternal if it weren't for the fact that he was planting soft kisses on your lips, caressing you as if you were going to break "You know I love you, don't you?" he blurted out amidst the wetness of your mouth, and if it weren't for the darkness of the room he could easily notice the blush all over your face "More than I love anyone, you're my girll" your heart felt soft and warm, a sense of home and protection that only he could bring to it. You would be lying if you said that a feeling of pride and superiority came over you knowing that you were what Leon loved the most.

"And I love you more, even if you crush me whenever we sleep together" you pinched the side of his abdomen and he laughed deeply burying himself in your neck with devotion as he breathed in as much as he could of you, all your scent, all your essence that made him feel alive, warm and loved. All those nights you were together, with or without clothes on, he wouldn't trade them for anything or anyone. Because, almost as if it were madness, you had taught him that way of loving without limits in an almost unconscious way. And he would take care of you no matter what.

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[freaksun]

hot, hotter, hottest

part 2 of this ! i actually fucking hate this but some people asked for a part two so I feel like i should post it anyways lol

super long and boring and no p in v happens plus the writing is just bad cause i was stoned to get thru it lmaooo

sorry guys ive never written smut before 🥲🥲send some smut requests so i can practice!!

“im gonna close the door”

you’re giddy, practically tripping over your own feet on the short walk to his bedroom door. you take a deep breath, your hand resting on the cheap flimsy wood. you hope to ground yourself so you can really remember this. whatever this is gonna be.

he’s trying to calm himself too, his hands running up and down his thighs, trying to focus his hands on the denim of his jeans. he leans back against his bed -still sitting on the floor- takes a deep breath, and watches you come back to him.

he adores your smile everyday, but even moreso now that theres a coy tilt of your neck, tilting your chin inward.

you’re not sure how to re-initiate a hot-and-heavy makeout session. you feel awkward and nervous but the way hes looking at you certainly helps. plus, its making you feel hot.

youre still standing while his face is at about waist level. youve been in this position before but this time hes not hiding how it makes him feel. hes looking up at you with a hungry, downright devilish look in his eyes. his hands come up your thighs, rubbing up and down the soft fabric of your pajama pants and stopping at your hips.

“i love you too, y’know”

his big brown eyes stare up into yours, crawling up into your brain and consuming your thoughts entirely. he wants, no, needs you to know he means it.

you run your hands through his hair, petting him like you’ve been dating forever. there are a million things your mind tells you to say, but you cant articulate anything, too caught up in the excitement of this moment.

you crawl onto the bed behind him. he follows you, laying on his stomach looking at you while you get comfortable (as comfortable as you can with the way your heart is pounding and youre in a cold sweat) with your arms wrapped around your knees, holding them close for comfort.

something he always liked about you is your cute little self-soothing behaviours. the way you try so hard to be present in every moment, to not miss a thing.

“you ok?” he touches your shin softly, rubbing on it comfortingly and then sliding his hand down to wrap around your ankle. hes always touchy like this, tries his best to make you feel loved and safe while also using it as an excuse to touch and love on you.

“yeah.. im fine, eds.” you smile, but it doesnt reach your ears. he frowns, in a overdramatic cartoony ‘i know youre lying’ kind of way. silly as he is.

“im just..” you sigh “i dunno.. i guess ive wanted this so long. dreamed about it, yanno?”

hes blushing, suddenly bashful.

“yeah, i know baby.. me too.” he doesnt want to admit to all the times hes thought about how you’d sound, how you’d feel under him, how you’d taste and what you’d be into. doesnt want to confess to touching himself staring at a model pretending its you, or imagining it was your hand wrapped around his cock. so all he says is me too.

“i just- what if.. what if im not good? what if i cant.” you struggle to say the words out loud

“what if i cant make you.. f-feel good and you change your mind?” your eyes bore into his, wide and shining with passion

his mouth feels dry as he stares back with an awestruck expression. he cant imagine a world where you’d be naked in front of him, and he’d do anything but worship you.

“baby..” he sits up, looking you in your eyes

“i- i dont want you for that, i love you.” he caresses your face, pinching your cheek lightly.

“I dont care about that stuff, y’know? and.. you know, im not-“ he laughs nervously

“Im not that.. well versed.” he clears his throat

your eyes widen “you mean..” you cant believe hes a virgin, looking like that?? being as sweet and charming and fucking sexy as him??

“N-no!! I mean ive had.. experiences, but.” hes all stuttery and nervous, you find it incredibly endearing. “I dont think they liked me all that much.. it was just embarrassing, honestly.”

you dont know what to say. you feel bad, but you dont think a pitied tone would really help him. you think it might emasculate him or whatever..

“Oh..” your eyes flicker between his lips and making eye contact. its selfish, but you enjoy the idea of being his first nice experience.. “come here.”

you open your knees so he can crawl between them, slotting himself there nice and snug as you grab his face and pull him in.

your eyes are already closed, mouth slightly open when his lips hit yours, and in seconds, its tongues clashing fighting for dominance as you both make quiet noises of pleasure

his hands move down, one on your hip holding you possesively, the other grazing your chest, timid. you grab his wrist and force his hand down, giving him complete permission, almost begging him.

his large hand squeezes gently, he groans immediately at the soft squish of your clothed boob.

he pulls back just to groan “fuck” and “you have no idea how long ive wanted to touch your pretty tits”

you giggle at his boyish slang, it makes you feel dirty but in a good way, like a teenage fantasy.

(and you were his, so…)

you tug at his shirt, staring up at him with doe eyes, looking innocent despite the way your thighs are already squeezing him. he smirks and wastes no time in ripping his lazy band tee off.

your breath shudders, eyes taking his lean torso in. you’ve seen him shirtless plenty of times - and yes of course you noticed when he suddenly had abs and a slender v line running down into his pants- but seeing him like this, his chest heaving in big adrenaline filled breaths, leaning over you with a nasty look in his eyes… it was almost too much

“like what you see?” he teases, ego beaming at the way you falter, eyes stuck drinking him in.

“so much.” your fingertips softly run up his abs, following up to grab the back of his neck to pull him in yet again, you just cant get enough of this thing youve been yearning for so long.

he chuckles against your lips, then gently takes your bottom lip between his teeth and pulls ever-so-gently.

you whine much to his delight, sounding absolutely wrecked and pathetic.

your hands roam around his neck, running up his head to get a nice handful of hair, pulling at it while he swipes his tongue across your teeth and you giggle

“you are a freak” you giggle and pull his head back, exposing that pretty neck of his

he groans, and almost whimpers and the sound is fucking delicious, goes directly between your thighs.

you latch onto his neck, sucking and nibbling gently, a touch of pain that you know he’ll like

and he does, blatantly, whining and sounding just as pathetic as you. (if not more)

he can feel you smirking against the wet skin you just defiled, and feels he needs to get some power back in this battle for dominance

he thumbs at the hem of your shirt

“can i take this off?” you crumble all over again at how sweet he is, how sweet you knew he’d be

“go for it, rockstar” you smile and he thinks you might be a siren sent to ruin his life

he pulls your cute fitted shirt up over your head and you thank the universe that you wore your good bra, the lilac one with the cute pattern sewn into it

he swallows, like a nervous cartoon and you fall even deeper for him

“h-holy shit” he mutters under his breath and you’re not sure if he even knows he did

“very romantic” you scoff, teasing him

“sorry, i mean.. holy shit”

you sit up, your knees in between his

“s’just a bra eds..” youre smiling in that way he almost never sees you smile and he thinks you enjoy tormenting him (you do, very much)

“wanna take it off?” you look up at him, innocent eyes right above the most sinfil smirk

he nods quickly, eyes wide to match his whole cartoon thing

he snakes his slender arms around you, and you feel his warm hands fumbling the clasp while his tongue sticks out in concentration

he looks entirely too nervous for your liking, getting more and more discouraged every second he cant get it off. he wants to be charming and smooth and sexy, not geeky and awkward and not able to take a fucking bra off

“s’okay baby” you kiss his cheek, your voice soft but stern

“no rush. you got it, try again” your encouraging words in that buttery sultry tone makes him wanna devote himself to you

he takes a deep breath and tries two more times, his eyes light up when he sees your straps fall down your arms

he bites his lips as a subconscious grounding technique as he pulls your bra down your arms and off your chest, he wants to remember every inch of you, just incase you change your mind and never wanna do this again

his lashes flutter the second your tits are exposed, his jaw going slack and you swear his eyes glaze over.

“God fucking damn, mama” his hands trail up your hips, the sides of your tummy, and tremble lightly as they feel you, finally

his eyes flicker to yours but he cant seem to maintain eye contact when your perfect tits are right in front of him, literally in his hands

in a total trance he follows his instincts on autopilot, leaning down to kiss his way to your nipple without even thinking

his kisses trail from the top of your chest down to the swell of your boob, his hand on your shoulder softly pushing you to lay on his pillows, propped up in the perfect position for him to lick and then latch his lips to your nipple, softly sucking

you gasp quietly, most guys just made out with you before sex, none have ever been interested in much foreplay - especially like this, his tongue circling your sensitive nipple, his hand squeezing your other boob and playing with that nipple too

your hands find his head quickly, running your fingers through his hair and gently massaging, making him moan the loudest yet

he’s practically slipping into sub space, completely entranced in the act of service while you pet his head like a good dog

he pulls off you with a *pop* , licking you a few more times for good measure before he’s looking up at you, completely wrecked

his hair is messy, face flushed, eyes lidded with heavy want, and his lips all bright pink

“will you please let me taste you?” his voice is lamblike, practically begging

your breath hitches as you continue gently scratching at his scalp

“o-okay” you’re entirely unsure, no one else had ever shown any interest in going down on you, too preoccupied with hitting and running without even asking if you got off, and the idea of him between your thighs like that is making you tremble

“thank you” he moans against your skin, kissing both tits, your tummy, above your fleecy pjs that cover your cunt

your eyelids flutter, the combination of his good manners and his face so close to your most sensitive and intimate place making you dizzy

his eyes meet yours, a giddy expression on his stupid face as he pulls your pjs down your hips but you stutter when he takes your panties between his fingers

“i-i..” he looks up at you with wide eyes

“do you not want me to? w-we dont have to..” he gently rubs your thigh

“n-i do, im just..” he smiles suddenly and you think its odd, but its just him reading you like a book as always

“no one’s ever done this before?” you blush and look down at your bare thighs, shaking your head

“look at me baby” you do. “thats a real shame. real fucking shame no ones ever kissed this pretty pussy” hes never seen your eyes this wide and it fuels his ego for this whole charming thing hes doing

“its gonna feel real good baby, what are you scared of?” hes direct but its clear in his face hes not judging you and you know he’d never pressure you into anything

“uh-i- uhm. just- just stop if its bad, ok?” you stop making eye contact

he cant think of a sophisticated and sweet thing to say so he opts for shutting you up

he adjusts his grip on your thighs and pulls you closer to him, his nose poking at your clothed clit

he smirks, absolutely giddy as he pulls your panties down gently, looking into your eyes for a second before he cant help staring as more of you is revealed

his entire demeanour changes once theyre off and you swear you hear him whisper some sort of prayer quietly

he wastes no time, his lips gently kissing your bare pussy trying to be as gentlemanly as he’d always fantasized but he cant help himself for more than a second before losing his composure and eating you like a madman

his tongue runs up and down your slit, exploring entirely for his own benefit, noting everything he feels in the folders of his memories. it licks up your cunt in a cupped position, scooping up the slick that was all all for him and savouring the taste of you in his mouth. he groans at the taste, then finally his tongue finds your clit and he knows its time to put all his time spent imagining this moment to use

he flicks up and down your knot of nerves, swirling his tongue around once, twice, three times while you whine before smothering your poor clit with his lips and sucking, causing you to practically wail, your hand flying to his hair as your mind fights between the urge to run away from the feeling and the urge to grind against his face

you cry his name as he pulls off with a satisfying pop, a sick smirk on his face as he licks his lips

“feel good?” he teases but youre beyond the point of embarrassment, entirely fucked out and in desperate need of orgasm. youve needed this far too long to be denied now

“god, yes, please, keep going” immediately he knows that you begging is the hottest thing he will ever hear.

his tongue licks up the seam of your pussy, circling around and around your clit while you keen, arching your back so you press into his face. he ventures his tongue down and up inside you, his nice big nose pressing into your clit deliciously. he’s absolutely ecstatic when you start grinding against him, soaking his face even more as his tongue squirms deeper inside you and his nose nudges your swollen clit.

“Fuck, eds! m-more, please!” he smiles at your manners even while he’s tongue-deep inside you, but obliges, moving up to overstimulate your clit while slowly pressing a finger into you. You whine, your back arching and walls clenching around his prodding finger. he quickly adds another finger, moving them gently but firmly pressing into your sweet spot deep inside you. his fingers being longer than yours slipped your mind until they were massaging your insides.

his tongue flicking and fingers fucking eventually drive you to a high pitched orgasm as your thighs close around his head, your body twitching and clenching around his fingers. he licks you softly and fucks you sweet as you cum for him

once your peak hits and your breathing slows to an exhausted pant he gently pulls his fingers out, licking them clean while making sick eye contact with you. he pulls your pjs & underwear back up for you while you catch your breath.

“..Do you want me to return the favour?” you ask timidly after regaining your composure. He laughs nervously and shakes his head, looking down at your bed

“No need, sugar, im taken care of.” he sits up, cringing as he feels his cum sticking to him and his pants, warm but slowly cooling. he refuses to unscrunch his eyes, anticipating laughing and teasing

“fuck thats so hot”

[protectorcraft]

mutual liked the gripe post which reminded me to write it. okay hi im pyxis and im gonna talk about a trope the isat community falls back on a lot in writing that bugs me okay thanks

this is gonna be long and probably annoying so im putting it under a cut. open at ur own risk. heavy spoiler warning thanks.

okay. how do i start this. a thing ive seen in quite a few fics and theories, and its that the islanders are directly- and purposefully- responsible for their own disappearance. usually i see it framed as "the islanders made themselves disappear/attempted to wish away knowledge of wishcraft because it was dangerous" and like. hm! i dont think so.

take this with a grain of salt as ur local cracker but considering the framing of the island's disappearance- abrupt, sudden, disastrous- something everyone was talking about- the disappearance definitely falls more in line with the metaphor of some sort of disaster or, as is a significant theme in the game, colonialism/imperialism and the subjugation of cultures.

this was- 100%- not the islander's faults, and blaming them completely misses the point of the matter.

while people can say wishcraft is dangerous- and really, it is, there's no getting around it- it also seems like it was an important piece of the Island's culture and based off the few islanders we meet, probably used fairly regularly in day to day life. siffrin, for example, literally uses it on the regular without even realizing it. the knowledge of how to do it properly is probably pretty ingrained into the average Islander's brain. to them, it's just a fact of life! i mean, literally all the scriptures we see on wishcraft (and astronomy) ingame are written in the Islander language. they were The Experts on this stuff. (not to mention that this proves the knowledge was in the general public's grasp, even if it required knowledge of their language to learn about)

so it just doesnt make sense that they'd wish something so important to them away like that- sure there was probably discourse amongst them about the dangers of these practices, but they would know enough to know attempt something as risky as, say, wishing away all knowledge of their country or any one big thing. not to mention wishcraft is weird- technically speaking, siffrin's wish probably wouldve had a lot less effect if all the energy of the failed wishes hadnt culminated into their successful one.

and before you bring up how op the kings wish is- remember that a good 75% of the game is exposing all the ways the other characters foil siffrin, including the king. the king, who supposedly made a wish to freeze vaugarde- but did he?

a lot of the king's dialogue, when he isnt gushing about vaugarde and how much he loves it, is about his grief surrounding the loss of his own country. when given the chance, he'll grasp at any opportunity to remember anything about it, even if its putting trust in the hands of a stranger who is literally here to kill him for help. its pretty clear to anyone with a brain that he's not being ingenuine about this.

and, see, siffrin's true wish was masked over by their other wish. its one of the game's big red herrings. yadda yadda yadda how do we know that the king's true wish was really the "preserve" vaugarde, huh?

"where are you going with this we've gotten wildly off track" no we havent! get fucked! i think the kings true wish was the remember his country- and, yknow, there's probably a fair few islanders remaining. probably yearning to grasp even a fragment of their lost culture, hoping and dreaming and wishing for answers. not unlike the king, perhaps? perhaps a culmination of half baked wishes being fueled by one, fully formed wish?

yeah, you get where im going with this.

so perhaps wishcraft isnt quite as strong as we assume it is? that the soul intent of one person isn't necessarily going to give you godlike power in most cases- mind we're not quite grasping the full scope due to loops. Whole Situation. but that's not why we're here.

if the Islanders had enough faith in the rest of the world to provide them with their wishcraft knowledge- then i doubt they wouldve wished themselves or their knowledge away. nobody would do that.

and if the rest of the world did, indeed, have access to that knowledge, then there's a fair chance some other group could be responsible. a group who doesnt even recall their own responsibility because it's been wiped from their memories.

like, idk.... a more on the nose version how colonizer countries bury their own history of misdeeds from the general populace?

idk man. idk. just feels weird to me that so many people seem to have immediately gone towards the Cultural Suicide route for some reason. you have to be willing to acknowledge that the isat universe is definitely not the perfect, pristine world you think it is. and maybe folks just need to be willing to acknowledge the actual brutality the metaphor is alluding to.

after all, an entire island- all of its peoples and cultures- disappeared.

[starry-bi-sky]

ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.

RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.

(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)

(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")

Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.

and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,

and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!

i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.

Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.

And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.

And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.

there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.

and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.

Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.

and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.

Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.

Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.

Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.

Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.

[navybrat817]

OMG NAVYYY HII HOW ARE YA😭😭😭 ever since i watched seb's scene in ghosted ive been so... well... there's no way to say this diplomatically but anyways it got me thinking- you know god spends a lot of time waiting.. for his targets or sum shit.. he must get... bored(wink wink) ya know??? so maybe sometimes his gf comes along with him.. to keep him company.. in that car😏😏😏 and i dont think i need to say anything else you can work ur magic✨✨✨

ANYWAYS BYE LOVE YOU ❤️

Not too bad, nonnie! Hope you're well and hope you enjoy this.

Gentle Sin

Pairing: God the Bounty Hunter x Female Reader Summary: You keep God company. Word Count: Over 1.05k Warnings: S/mut, c/ockwarming, p/ossessive behavior, talk of v/iolence, God the Bounty Hunter (he's a warning, okay?) A/N: Um. This was unexpected! Happy Sinday, lovelies? 🔥 Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. ❤️ Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

It wasn't unusual for God to hide in vehicles or other places to track and collect whatever criminal or individual he was responsible for. The private agent possessed a certain level of patience suited for his job. It didn't mean he always enjoyed waiting, even when the payoff was more than enough. Which is why you were only half surprised when you got a message to meet him in the back of some random car.

"Come keep my cock warm, Angel."

It wasn't a suggestion and his demands weren't something for you to ignore.

"You know one of the things I love about you? You act as if this isn't where you belong, but your pussy knows exactly who she belongs to."

Fucking traitor.

You breathed in and out slowly through your nose as two of his fingers slid across your tongue. He hardly spoke a word when you showed up in the darkened parking lot, both of you careful not to draw too much attention to yourselves as you shuffled around in the backseat. He didn't have to tell you to lose the panties. They were gone the moment he reached out. 

"Did you know there are two main reasons why it's painful for people to wait for things?" he asked, changing the subject.

Loves the sound of his own voice.

"Mmm," you replied, unable to say anything with his fingers pushing deeper into your mouth. What would he do if you bit them? You could figure that out another day.

"One reason is the unknown. They don't know what's coming and they can't stand it," he said, rolling his hips beneath you. Your warm pussy didn't seem to distract him from his mission, the gun in his other hand ready for him to use. "The other is dealing with something they don't want to deal with in the first place."

You moaned when he brought his mouth to your neck and dragged it along your skin, the light scratch from scruff bringing goosebumps to the surface. Every sound you made, every clench of your wet walls fueled his ego. The sin he carved into you was gentle in comparison to the wrath you knew he unleashed on others.

You were special in his eyes. 

"You think you know what's coming, Angel, but I have a surprise for you," he said as he removed his fingers.

"And what's that?" you asked, wondering if he planned on using his ring tonight. "Me coming on your cock and you coming inside me? Not much of a surprise."

Was it too much to admit you loved how he filled you to the brim? That you craved when he spilled hot and thick inside you and claimed every inch of you as his? But you carried power, too. Your cunt did wonders on this man and it was a weapon you enjoyed wielding.

He brought his wet fingers under your skirt with a grunt, seeking out your clit with an expert touch. You didn't have to see the smirk on his face when you arched your back to know it was there. It was a look engraved in your mind the moment he made you his. "That's not the unknown. We already knew the night would end like that because I always get you off."

Cocky bastard. I get you off, too.

"Then what is it?" you asked, whimpering as he teased your bundle of nerves. Your essence soaked the curls as the base of his cock at this point as he tapped the glass with the gun. 

"Your ex-boyfriend skipped bail," he answered, his voice softer and deeper than before. "I don't have to tell you his name and I better not hear you say it."

You managed not to shriek when he pinched your clit, a ripple of pleasured pain causing your toes to curl. You knew exactly who he was talking about and it was one of the reasons he was your ex. Funnily enough you'd end up with someone who is both worse and better. "God, is that why you wanted me here?"

He had no lesson to teach you because you did nothing wrong.

"Partially why. You'll worship no one else before me and I want you to remember that," he said, tapping the glass again like he wasn't playing you like a finely tuned instrument. You wanted to point out you didn't even know the bounty hunter when you dated your ex, but you bit your tongue. "And I have to wonder if I'll shoot my load into you before or after I shoot him."

Was he going to kill him for merely skipping bail? Wasn't he supposed to bring him in alive? Why did the thought scare you and turn you on?

You gripped his arm for purchase when your body began to shake. During one of his ramblings to you, he mentioned he attuned his senses to everything around him. The orgasms he pulled from you proved that and you understood where some of his confidence came from at least. He also knew how to keep you on the edge without sending you over. 

God, just let me finish. 

"My beautiful, wet angel. Does that get you off? Knowing I want to shoot someone just because they touched you?" he lightly taunted, pressing an affectionate kiss against your shoulder. "Wasn't the tune you sang when I shot your partner, but I changed that, didn't I?"

"Don't talk about him," you snapped.

"Still sore about me doing my job?"

You shut your mouth. You couldn't fault him for that, but it was bad enough you willingly slept with the guy who killed your partner. Would good sex ease your guilty conscience?

"Well, your ex has no idea what's going to happen and he doesn't want to face his crimes. Too fucking bad," he said, pulling his fingers away as you teetered on the edge. "And I want him to see what it's like for a god to take you apart. I want him to see you're mine now. Then I'll take him in. After shooting him for good measure."

He shoved his fingers back in your mouth before you could respond. 

"That's it. Taste your sin on my fingers. Plenty more where that came from before the night is through."

I couldn't help myself! Love and thanks for reading. 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[imustbenuts]

nuts reads trigun in jp 14 - trimax' vol 1 theme is big on family

i mean, thats obvious, but it didn't ping on my radar as much until im sitting here chewing on what im reading.

ive written in part 7 with the first hint of filial piety, 12 with a lost in translation bit about vash calling sheryl and lina his family, and 13 where wolfwood comes across as a guy who is taking someone's child(daughter) away to elope for marriage. the tl;dr of all of this is that trimax' vol 1 seems to be a set up for exploring themes and what "family" can be defined as.

i uh, suspect japanese idea of 内外 uchi-soto is at play here. (ie in-group and out-group but family) it seems to be lowkey tied to that and the themes of 'otherism'. the kanjis for them means, in 内, and out 外.

the uchi 内 is the 'us', and it is most commonly used in the context of home and family.

the soto 外 is the others, the ones who aren't part of the family.

there's absolutely more ways uchi-soto can be used than just family. village, organization, etc.

so while i dont have a concrete answer of how fucked family dynamics exactly are in japan, i can say its at least pretty fucked in a lot of asian countries affected by ww2. this is further compounded by a lot of classism, traditionalism, trauma, shit mental healthcare, absurd rapid economic growth, the whole turd rainbow, that its not uncommon for many born in say 1900s to 1980s to be... pretty messed up.

i mean, the long term results of gunboat diplomacy, opium wars and colonialism will do all of that, yeah.

i think its why knives here vaguely gives me that abusive old asian turd vibe:

domestic abuse is... not exactly uncommon, honestly. again, dont live in japan so i wont pretend to know for sure, but similar culture and the same capitalism trajectory makes me think its got similar trends. also a lot of these DVs can rooted in toxic masculinity, power trips, ego, and anxiety surrounding productiveness/money.

yeehaw:

(quick note: another reading of 内 uchi can be nai. is that why studio orange named him nai....??? 🤔 and gave him a onesies pajamas and made him a hikkikomori?)

so thats knives. he kicks and slaps his little brother around and even cuts off his arm to the point that a lot of vash's behavior can come across as an abuse victim survivor. he shares the uchi with vash and their sister plants, while everyone else alive on NML is the soto. the outsiders.

and then vash seems to define his own 'uchi' as... the entirety of humanity, or at least an uchi with no 'soto'. no outsiders than maybe himself. its debatable if you want to read this as a result of his abuse, if vash inherently leans towards this, or a mix of the two. like how things are depicted in stampede.

i think the characters that highlight these themes nicely are Sensei/Doc and Brad. im skipping and not rehashing stuff from my prev post, but yeah its. all there.

.... Of course I would We're family (身内). And it's all the same to him. Vash The Stampede's concept of "family (身内)" is absurdly wide.

i mean, check out brad's bubble in here where the Family is expressed as 身内 miuchi. more in the tone of "one of ours". nightow could have just used a bunch of other words like 家族 kazoku, 親身 shinmi, 親戚 shinseki that leans closer to blood family, but nah. nightow just picks 身内, with the 内 to highlight the in group out group family culture dynamic going on.

this is then followed up with this panel

man.

i wanna whack knives with a steel chair.

[neptunescore]

Literally started this blog just to say how hypocritical F1 – both the people working in it, and the sport itself – is becoming. The main 3 things I want to address is: no.1 women in motorsport, no2 the ongoing genocide in palestine and no3 F1's disallowance of anything political, yet enabling the absolute political shitshow that was the 2024 miami gp.

Numéro 1: I just think its absolute bullshit that the FIA genuinely created a whole ‘Women in Motorsport Commission’, assigned SIX STRONG ambassadors to it, and THEN proceeded (come 2023) to launch a wholeass unfair investigation onto one of them, based on the MOST groundless claims?? Like wtf?? (Talking abt Susie Wolff here). Also, the whole Cristian Horner situation really showed just how much they care about women working under them, bc tell me why the possible victim in his situation was the one getting SUSPENDED, while this possible filth of a man is still parading shamelessly around the paddock?? Like??? AND SOME OF THE DRIVERS COMMENTS ON THE SIRUATION?? pissed me off so much u dont even understand. Anyway, my last point on this convo is how women should ALSO be taken accountable of their actions, and not just glossed over because they’re ‘women’, over here im specifically talking abt Bianca Bustamante and her liked tweet which calls lance stroll autistic… girl :| and her apology was so atrocious as well. T-T

Numéro 2: The fact that not ONE driver (excluding Lewis Hamilton — that man is so much more than a driver) has spoken up/ posted about the situation pisses me off SO much bc?? THOUSANDS of people are dying, and with the platform you have, the fans you have, you could have such a positive effect! This is ESPECIALLY targeted on the drivers so I FULLY KNOW have control of their accounts (Charles Leclerec, Esteban Ocon, Lando Norris [GOD DO I HAVE ALOT TO SAY ABT HIM], Pierre Gasly, etc) bc tell me why drivers are fully capable of uploading a post 2 years ago stating how the WHOLE of F1 stands with Ukraine (which i do applaud them for) but cant say SHIT abt the same situation occuring in Gaza, but SO much worse?? Lando can genuinely go f himself, bc as much as i used to adore him there’s no way he did NOT know abt the atrocities happening in Palestine, no way he did not know abt the company boycott when he decided to fully display that Starbucks logo on his little reel. And IF (literally a 0.0000001% chance, bc by then a 1000 articles were already written on it and the WHOLE world was aware) he genuinely didn’t know, then that is just ignorant as fuck. Icel. Anyway, literally all drivers should be held accountable, no matter if they’re ur favs or not; I like Carlos a lot but that doesn’t mean i dont get the ick every time i think abt the fact he’s stayed completely silent on the matter. OH MY GOD, DONT get me started on lance stroll and his confirmed (yes, i DO fact check) Zionist girlfriend, like?? Ew.

Can i also just say, that if any of u are gonna msg me saying ‘oH bUt NeP, thE FIA BanNeD AnY anD aLl PoliTiCaL StAtEmEnTS’ Shut up. If you guys could just READ the rest of the statement, you'd know that this rule only applies to when the drivers are ACTIVELY in the paddock. The FIA has literally included the fact that driver can do WHATEVER the want, stand up for WHOEVER they want in their personal lives – which brings me to my next point,

Numéro 3: The FIA bans any and all political statements in the paddock, (without their written consent) YET INVITES TRUMP (a man who has been charged with EIGHTY EIGHT criminal offenses) to the race, is the most disgusting and hypocritical thing ive seen in all my years of watching F1. And don't even get me started on all the shit lando said abt him, like bro?? What are you saying?? Why are you saying these things?? I get u cant speak bad abt him, but that does NOT mean u need to praise him to the sun and back. T-T

That's my rant! Additional reminder abt ppl bringing up how '*retired driver (insert name)* would NOT stand for this, and would post and talk ALL abt palestine if they were still racing,' this is a reminder that those drivers are still alive and well, with WORKING platforms and can STILL do all those things now if thry CHOOSE to :]

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Made it to chapter 16 today which means Feyre and I have both had our first impressions of Rhysand's Inner Circle and ohhhhhhh boy

Its hard to pinpoint why exactly, but theres something so discomforting about watching them interact. I think the main thing is that for all their "casual-ness", theres still clearly a rigid hierarchy between them and they all seem to 'know their place' so to speak, its not at all like Lucien and Tamlin's relationship in the first book which genuinely felt like a friendship that was unburdened by their status or positions. Like, theres this one moment where Mor and Amren are like kinda bickering with each other i guess, and Feyre remarks that Mor is probably super powerful if she dares talk back against Amren (in an incredibly minor matter Im pretty sure but I already forgor ngl) and because this is the book where Feyre's perspective starts being Objectively Correct all the time, I guess that's true, I guess the only reason someone would dare voice their opinion on something to this friend group is if they were physically more powerful because otherwise you just level a fucking mountain during an argument

Anyway, Im gonna switch topics for a short moment but I promise this diversion is relavant to the point above. So, sometimes when I go into the anti-tags on here looking for criticisms or complaints of the books, I instead find anti-ship posts that are mainly just about trash-talking some ship, mostly ones relating to that whole Elucien/Elriel/Gwynriel shipwar, which I already have thoughts on but I'll save those for later. In any case, one day I stumbled upon this pretty long anti-elriel post about how the gifts Elain gives Azriel on winter solstice arent actually cute and it describes how she gave him like, herbs that help with headaches "because his friends are always giving him headaches" apparently. And then that post went on a whole rant about how insensitive that was of her and that she doesnt actually understand Azriel's dynamic with his close friends, but honestly, judging from this chapter Elain was absolutely spot on

And I usually wouldn't say this because yknow, its only one chapter and we're probably gonna get the nuances of their relationship later, but this is a book written by Sarah J Maas, her characters and their relationships are rarely particularly deep and, more importantly, her writing is incredibly unsubtle. If Azriel was in any way fond of his friends shenaningans I wouldve noticed it, because Feyre wouldve noticed it like 15 times during that whole dinner. But she didnt.

Its especially bad for Cassian and Azriel because it feels like Cassian thinks they have this great rapport but Azriel just genuinely kinda dislikes him. Not to mention that whole fucking mess with Azriel and Mor and Cassian and Mor having sex so she wouldnt get married off or whatever, good god how is every conversation between them not insanely awkward

Even beyond that, idk man, theyre all just so insufferable. I dont understand how Amren, ancient eldritch being trapped in a fae body that she is, can stand to be around them, I wouldve left them 5 centuries ago if I was her. I guess the explanation is that she finds the government position interesting but its like, youre SECOND to the most boring and annoying man on the planet only kinda ruling over a court that you dont even actually care about from everything Ive heard. Again, if I was in Amren's position I would not be hanging out in an APARTMENT in a boring ass city at the behest of a quartett of stupid bozos, I wouldve weaseled my way into being the personal advisor of Beron or some shit so I could watch the Vanserra Family Drama unfold live

There was one good thing about this discomforting dinner though, and that was how inexplicably gay Cassian was for Rhysand. He was really out there, looking at him with such love, calling him pretty twice in like two minutes being all "I knew I wanted a piece of him the moment I first saw him, the high lord's pretty son" like okay. I know what you are

[cattlemutilated]

time for incomprehensible lovemail (probably bc this is my first time writing lovemail but that blue fart is worth it)

ive been thinking of a post a lot recently where its a bunch of translated japanese comments talking abt how this slime is attractive without all his theatrics. ive always kinda figured there was some kind of troupe that was lost in translation with him (at least to me), since last i remember he’s the most unpopular brother over in japan. i never thought of him being written to be a cringelord but it makes a lot of sense. i mean this with all the love in my heart.

this makes so much sense though and is both funny to think about and weirdly relatable. i love how americans think his cringe is endearing while overseas he’s somewhat unbearable. tbh i can get that but thats probably only bc i have a massive crush on him and any time he’s trying to act charming it genuinely works on me and i fucking hate it. anyhoo, i really love how unabashedly he is himself, or trying to become the person he seems to want to be. in such an unapologetic fashion no less. like osomatsu said in that one episode: “you dont need to change yourself, everyone’s senses just need to be dulled”. obviously he didnt say that verbatim but im too lazy to go find the clip so whatever. besides that though i feel like he has a degree of depth the other brothers don’t quite have. obviously the others are fun too but karamatsu, esp in the more recent seasons, is depicted to be more assertive of himself after being walked over oftentimes by his siblings. though he still loves them very deeply. he just aint having that bullshit.

the way he’s so considerate for them makes me wanna run in circles really fast.. he’s such a fun character with so much going on. idk what else really to say i like hiiim a lot… hehehhehe

[tigerdrop]

Got any fun thoughts to share about Ford and Bill?

they drive me crazy dude. i have a lot to say about them so im putting it under a readmore

ive been billpilled for 1 million years dog. hes like the Blueprint. bills the perfect entity to me: terrifying shapeshifting demon who can slip into every corner of your mind and read all your thoughts and memories. and also hes a cartoon character with noodle arms and a cute shape. and hes a pathetic worm whos hung up on his human ex. and hes a funny little guy whos playful and mean and delights in tormenting you but juuuust enough so that he doesnt break you. Hes so awesome

like. listen. this isnt going to be a surprise if youve read literally anything ive ever written. but if bill possessed ford and slammed his hand in a car door and got a kick out of it and put him in a funny little outfit id be fine about it. ford was literally in a 24/7 freeuse lifestyle with him so why WOULDNT he

yeah im kind of a masochist. Why do u ask

put his ass in a horny neurotic guys body and see what happens. hit his dick with a cartoon mallet for fun. slap him around a little. feels cool and neat! like "human bodies are so responsive, huh" said while blanfords about to jam a fork into an outlet (thats my name for it btw. Im not looking it up)

what if i hurt you?? what if i dropped you??? Just kidding :-)

i dont know how much genuine sexual pleasure bill would get out of it so much as the thrill and novelty of a new human sensation but i think that could be fun in and of itself. jacking off with another guys body in a weirdly distant way like Haha Wow. Im getting kind of flustered here! (actively jamming a coke bottle into his pussy)

and the thing that really drives me crazy about ford is how much fetish shit he thinks about/makes inventions for/has inflicted upon him. i think in the series finale hes tied up like 3 fucking times. its insane. he wants to give up control of his body so fucking bad dude!!!!! (exhibit A: ford going limp like a kitten whenever hes picked up. it happens more than once.)

and theres even more contrived bondage bits in the deleted scenes! its maddening. hes an insane obsessive bdsm-lifestyling pervert and hes likethe ideal guy to match bills freak

hes soooo fucking easy. its so much fun to me. theres something really erotic about the way bill makes him feel special about his hands......like.......its naked flattery but its also kinda true. its weird. he likes weird shit. and ford falls for it soooo easy. drives me nuts

now walk with me. think about how easy that same interaction would transfer to ford being transgender. and your not allowed to get mad at me bc this is just my thing now

its so strange! kind of captivating. bills been around the block but the western conception of transmasculinity is so recent that for him it might as well be a blink of the eye. so i think it would be new to him. especially given when he actually makes a deal with ford. just another special thing about his special little guy. he *knew* there was something about ford

and to be frank i think that if you were a transmasc pervert in the 70s and a dream demon came along that understood you inside and out and can make all of your bizarre fantasies come true. well. you would have been fucking stupid not to fuck him

i need to read the book of bill so fucking bad bc the extra context of bill being super hung up on ford drives me CRAZY!!!! i love bitter lovestruck jerks. i love divorce. and i think they could and should hook up again. bad guys that are reluctantly forced to stop being so bad are so much fun and fords huge fucking ego didnt go anywhere. i think bill could convince ford to give him a second chance. at least just to hook up for old times sake

anyway. im making a bill itabag. Gotta go

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

this isnt meant to hate on the anon to say it, i’m just saying this because not all michie shippers are like this, bur i completely disagree when you say its gooning material. yes. there are people who take them ooc. yes. i am SOMETIMES on of those people. but only on occasion, and i dont make shit of them like fucking each other which is when they get blown ooc half the time. i think one of the only fics ive read where they’re in character and does have smut is teenage werewolf in hatchetfield. BUT OTHER THAN THAT????? sure!!! sometimes it might seem ooc for redemption fics where max isnt being an asshole to him and richie isnt trembling in fear is because of THAT EXACT WORD. REDEMPTION. we’ve seen max not be a dick!! when he talks to grace? yes, it is in a case sexual harrassment, but at the same time, before he gets freaky, he’s a fucking LOSER that doesnt know how to act arounf a girl he wants BAD. right before he dies? he says he appreciates the nerds for putting the whole prank together, because he never got anything like that!! i agree, max would probably be somewhat of an ass if there was a redemption and michie did happen, but he would do it in a loving way!! he wouldnt push them against lockers or swirlie him. people need to get their fucking heads on straight and realize that. their trope IS bully x nerd. BUT. unless you’re going for toxic yaoi ot something, it would be redemption!! so instead of bully x nerd, it could be jock x nerd!!! IM SO STSGGE. just because one of the big ships in the fandom is mlm DOES NOT MEAN ITS GOONING MATERIAL. yes, michie gets fetishized, BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO MAKE FLUFF, OR ANGST, OR ACTUAL WELL WRITTEN SMUT.

sorry for this tangent, i had to get this out 😭😭

~~~

[cacw]

what don't you like about frostpaw/dawn? no hate, just curious :)

thanks ive been waiting for someone to ask

theres a lot i could say about her because shes been around for long enough and now that this arc is 100% done i can safely voice my opinions which will never have any future opportunity to change. this is 3 years (and particularly the last 3 months) worth of angry impassioned and disillusioned thoughts but its still not everything. and maybe someday ill better describe what i actually wanted from her

i dont like frostpaw because everything about her and her story was pathetic and horrible. frostpaw had every chance to be a great character but unfortunately she was born into a corrupt fictional world and raised under a broken system and she never stood a chance to bring about any real change (i knew this all along and i hate to whinge but really i did. nothing ever changes! meditating isnt going to solve anyones problems no matter how nice and agreeable a concept it sounds). frostpaws story is one full of couldves shouldves and wouldves

everything about this arc bothered me and there wasnt a single chapter i couldnt find something to complain about. i know this makes me sound like a total bitch. but somehow she still managed to be the better protagonist even when the bar was set incredibly low which is a feat in and of itself

i could be pedantic here and bring up smaller scale things about her story that bother me like the way she would have made more sense as an only child (for the exact same reasons as shadowsight), or the age retcon at the beginning of the arc and how she should have just trained as a warrior first, or i could rave about the way her friendship with splashtail hardly had any spotlight which ultimately made the dynamic difficult to enjoy for anyone who isnt named cheyeh. maybe im just sick of light-haired girls with blue eyes. but those are for another day. they add up quick though. my biggest gripe is probably her relationship with her mother (and by extension starclan) and the way both of them were treated over the last three years. i wouldnt feel so negatively toward frostpaw if she hadnt been so quick to turn on the one who raised her and kissed her skinned knees and made her hot chocolate after school. she agonizes over the realization of what her mother has done, but she is incredibly quick to toss out all sentimentality and claim that curlfeather deserved her fate and worse. theres not much heart here (and thank god that wasnt her suffix). its poor writing, its incredibly angering boring and disappointing and its something ive been meaning to write about for a long time

actually i might as well bring up the splashtail problem now because i know im never going to get around to making a big post about them

frostpaw and splashtail were supposed to be important to each other at some point early on in their lives, but we are never properly shown this and so the general fanbase was put off by her sudden crush on him. and i undersand that. i know were all sick of the same thing over and over. but frostpaws feelings for him were completely reasonable, and if either of them were written even a little better i know it would have made a lot more sense. and yet instead of the writers trying for anything remotely interesting, frostpaw becomes obsessed with marrying him and having his children. she says shed like to name one after her mother. because this is what all women are meant to do with their lives and this is what being a warrior is all about. she cannot just have a best friend and be done with it; she needs to want this and he needs to give it to her because its what they do. this is all very fucking stupid and it almost ruined both of them for me

we dont see inside splashtails head at all so we have no idea why hes doing all this or why he cant bring himself to care about her as a person anymore, and we are left to watch frostpaw mourn the relationship with her best friend that never came to be. and once again, although she didnt want to admit it for a while, she simply accepts the fact that, like curlfeather, he is just evil and theres nothing to be done but get rid of him. that sounds like a major oversimplification but it really isnt. she doesnt examine this in any way that matters and neither does anyone else. and no one else was ever going to! that should have been her job as the protagonist! she is supposed to think differently. its not so much a frostpaw problem as it is just flawed writing overall. curlfeather and splashtail were just a few bad apples and we dont need to think about the rest of the bunch because now that theyre both dead and in hell well never have to consider the possibility that something like this could ever happen again or think about why it even happened in the first place. thanks for getting rid of the problem for us frostpaw. no one will ever know just how much this hurt you because they never knew him like you did but since they didnt you can just spend the rest of your life pretending those feelings arent there

im also very put off by the fanon interpretations of her character, and while this doesnt affect her canon characterization its still something that drives me completely insane. theres a pattern ive noticed over the years where people try to paint every medicine cat protagonist as wimpier than they actually are and will act like they need to be protected by the other two (and most recently, inferior) protagonists. i shouldnt have to explain why this is annoying and sort of ruins any enjoyment i could ever possibly get from fanart. i dont want to sound mean but i dont find anything sweet or cathartic about her ending and i think art celebrating it is lame and makes me feel absolutely nothing

ive said it before but frostpaw can be very angry and defensive and i wish people utilized this aspect of her personality without making her look like some naive idiotic crybaby! (and without having her direct ALL OF IT toward her mother. she has more to be angry about) its one of my favorite things about her. i love how ugly she can get. i wish she had been angrier about a lot more. another common occurrence over the years involves characters getting angry at starclan for using them or lying to them or refusing to leave them alone, but in the end the protagonist always ends up forgiving and accepting their ways because they are holy and righteous and good. starclans overwhelming significance to the story isnt the problem here; its the way no one ever seems to learn anything of value and instead come out of their arcs wearing the same black and white colored glasses. frostpaw fought the whole way until she couldnt anymore. her arc went nowhere and she drowned in a deep dark puddle of erin hunters pen ink

i will say i do genuinely enjoy frostpaw for what she could have been, and i always have. unfortunately this version doesnt fully exist. but she was still the best protagonist and her chapters were all i ever cared about. ive enjoyed her more than any other protagonist in the last 10+ years (aside from shadowsight, but even his ending disappointed me). she was fun and fresh for a while but at her core shes just another soldier and she was always going to end up exactly like everyone else in the end. which of course i mean dull and indistinguishable and a stickler to the status quo (which is ironic considering the themes of the last two arcs, let alone her own story and personal goals). i care about her a lot. i would even go as far as to say i love her truly and deeply, but she is terrible. im not joking when i say that she sucks. but shes better than most and somehow thats what matters here. she isnt my favorite. but she probably is in her own special way

i do not dislike frostpaw for the reasons other people have bashed her for over the years; she got a lot of hate when this arc was just beginning, and i never agreed with any of it. she was never just a camera, she was never a whiny bitch, and she wasnt just a lovestruck schoolgirl down on her luck. frostpaw is smart. frostpaw is kind and brave. frostpaw is not a child and she hasnt been one for a long time. its not frostpaws fault she exists in an arc from a series so overtaken with a deep-running hatred for women spanning 20+ years with a fanbase that has never known how to act right, but she also isnt real. so whatever. i hope she enjoys her future of irrelevancy and lack of any real and true relationships and the occasional outlandish and/or ooc remark shell spit out that makes the next medicine cat protagonist look sympathetic in comparison. i hope she enjoys knowing shell never see her two favorite people again. thats what she wanted all along!

and her name is stupid

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

Thank you for walking study in demonology! Reading it brought me all the way back to the 2019 bnha era. Even tho im a chronic fandom hopper, every once in a while i got pulled back to the bnha fandom like a clinging abused ex gf, cause i feel like no other fandom has given me the same feels as bnha on ao3. It's probably partly because of bnha being a perfect sandbox for ficwriters, but damn you bnha writers are really sth else.

Your work is such an exquisite, heartfelt love letter to the fanfiction medium in general, and the bnha fandom in particular. I hope your pillow is always cool and your socks always come out of the washing machine in pairs.

What's your favourite part about the fic?

hi thanks so much for this ask! super appreciate the kind words :) i agree wholeheartedly i wldnt have started writing my bnha fics if not for the amazing fics ive read from this fandom.

short answer: my favorite part is the process.

super long answer:

(spoilers below fair warning)

demonology has been a learning process for me and also a very strange experience.

ive always been more of an improv writer where i dont really know where a story is going when i write it. with demonology being the way it is, you can surmise that its been a really crazy ride.

ive mentioned this before but it started as an idea of deku being just your typical satanic style exorcist, and as it is a crack fic, i did write it — at the beginning — purposefully to be nonsensical. all the made up “significant” stuff like affinity, authority, even the importance of names and all that — i didnt know what they mean and i didnt care either, i was just making them say whatever that sounded ominous and ridiculous. (often this is for the sake of comedic timing. it is crack after all.)

some comments say the fic didnt make sense, and i agree bc it didnt to me either. but then it DID start to make sense to me. whenever i started to write a new chapter id read back to whatever bullshit i did the previous chap and only then i understood what the hell the characters r talking about. if you look back to the earlier chapters there’d be a lot of foreshadowings, but they werent written to be foreshadowings at the time. its kind of foreshadowing in reverse, bc i only knew what they meant after i wrote them. i didnt know i was writing a meta multiverse time travel fic, but since i did, i had to commit and go crazy.

(in retrospect i think it rly did begin with hitoshi and that cat in ch 3. i didnt even know hitoshi was the “main character” until that chapter. i didnt know that cat was schrodingers cat until i wrote ch 8.)

so u can see how crazy, nonsensical and haphazard the entire writing process of this fic is, which in return gives birth to a crazy, nonsensical and haphazard fic. until its not nonsensical anymore. somehow, there actually is a clear logic in the mechanics of the universe. the cats are schrodinger cats, the demons are maxwell demons, entropies are plotlines which are often riddled with plotholes, the hell is production hell, to be in heaven is to be canonized — and lorem ipsum is the empty blank slate state of the universe. authority actually is authority. the fic gave meaning to itself by the end of it all.

comments ask if i waited for bnha to end — i didnt. bnha ending actually fucked a past version of ch 8, now scrapped. but then it actually … made a better version? and made more sense? its weird.

i did know about some things that were going to happen though. since the first time i had izuku do the “you believe [object] exist,” i always knew i wanted it to be turned back to him (“midoriya izuku doesnt exist”). after i wrote ch 6 i also knew i wanted them to “go back to the beginning” with izuku’s “fall” on the rooftop. but i didnt know until i wrote it that hitoshi was going to choose to fall, too. i know im the author but him choosing that shocked me and i found it moving.

if i had written this “properly”, if i had planned it all with better structuring and better pacing and emotional beats and all that — this might have turned out to be a better written story, in another world. as it is right now there are a lot of flaws that it has. but it wldnt have been the same fic. if not for this fuckass writing process, it wld never have reached the form it takes as of now.

and although it was a very difficult road, i can say wholeheartedly that this strange process has been my favorite part. im doubtful ill ever experience a writing process like this again. the story kept surprising me. a part of why i wanted to finish it was because i wanted to know how it ended too—bc i wldnt know until i wrote it.

of course, at the end of it all, none of us know what their ending is. in the end the story still didnt share its secrets with me and i really really love it for it.

haha this is so long sorry i guess this fic really means a lot to me after all. but yes, thats my answer.

i would also like to thank every reader and commenter once again bc i can honestly say without the feedback and support, this would not have been finished either, or become the way that it is. man. fanfictions, huh?

[ppppxseur]

EPIC THE MUSICAL VENGEANCE SAGA SPOILERS!!

spoilers under the cut! do not proceed if you havent listened to the vengeance saga yet!!

also if you dont want to read my take about calypso, this may not be the review for you because thats 95% of what i talk about because I Have Opinnions. (spoiler alert, im a sympathizer)

600 strike

OKAY MY RATINGS FOR THE VENGEANCE SAGA GOES AS FOLLOWS

charybdis

not sorry for loving you

get in the water

dangerous

i thought everything was heavenly and i dont understand the hate for 600 strike???? people saying it was "too anime" like jorge wasnt inspired by video games and anime so like theres going to be a big anime cutscene of "the final boss"

my biggest complaint just stems from the fact that the saga felt a bit rushed imo? but like... thats just because the odyssey is so fucking long so of course the saga is gonna feel a bit cramped because theres just too much happening that can be put in the musical at one time

also also uh... the calypso hate... oh my god the calypso hate jesus christ you guys. calling her a monster and evil is like. an absolutely insane jump (IN MY OPINION)

because... okay. heres where my line of logic falls. obviously epic!calypso =/= odyssey!calypso are... different people, so obviously epic!calypso isnt going to be the exact same as odyssey!calypso. and i NEED people to get that distinction through their minds because i feel like y'all are comparing the two when theyre different characters written by different people.

people are saying calypso is manipulative in not sorry for loving you and im sorry, i just dont see it. manipulation is purposeful, its directed, its pointed. and i just... dont think thats what she was doing. granted she DID use manipulative language with the line "and if you hate me, then im sorry my love is too much for you" but i dont think she was actively trying to manipulate odysseus

because, like, imagine living your entire life on a deserted island. NO ONE is around you. you are literally all alone. even circe had her nymphs and aeolus had their winions. calypso didnt have any of that. so OF COURSE she was all over odysseus. of COURSE she mistook her feelings for love. of COURSE she did everything to try to keep him there. hes the only thing like her that she has ever known.

and before you come at me. i know. i know that keeping someone trapped isnt an act of love, but she doesnt know that because shes had no experience with other people before. not even other gods!

so i wouldnt even necessarily say shes being manipulative. shes just... telling him what she feels and worded it badly.

my opinion of calypso boils down to: naive and not understanding. i dont think she fully understands the weight of keeping odysseus trapped and the duress that hes under. i dont think she fully understands odysseus but she really, really wants to. shes so desperate for him to stay that shes not listening to him. and it takes hermes talking to her to snap her out of her daydream that odysseus' is hers to keep.

not sorry for loving you isnt a tantrum. its her expressing her feelings to him. its her final, true act of love by letting him go even if she really doesnt want to.

and i dont think odysseus was just telling her he loved her because thats what she wanted to hear. i mean, odysseus does not seem like the type of man to lie about his feelings or sugar coat shit in any sort of way. so i think, in some capacity, they were probably friendly. i wouldnt go as far to say that they were friends but platonic love doesnt just grow overnight.

sorry this ended up being a Calypso rant, but i honestly love her and i just dont understand why theres a lot of hatred for her. and some of the comments ive seen about her are so vile that im honestly wondering if this has anything to do with epic!calypso at all...

like dont get me wrong, i understand and fully validate you if you felt uncomfortable by her because i do see where the discomfort can lie! but i guess my kneejerk reaction to hearing love in paradise and now not sorry for loving you is that this bitch needs therapy IMMEDIATELY!

and then if you want to know the rest of my opinions about the saga its that i thought dangerous was good it just wasnt my favorite, get in the water is under not sorry for loving you just cuz i liked it more, charybdis bops i just wish it was a little longer.

anyway please dont flame roast me for my calypso opinions lol. i just have a lot of sympathy for her ig

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alright, I read The Vampire Lestat all in one go in 8 hours a few hours ago, I spent the whole day at the library just reading it (i brought food w/ me dw) and then I came home, tired ass balls legs hurting from sitting and stimming for that entire time and I immediately went to bed even though I had so many thoughts that I wanted to write about, and now its midnight and I cant sleep and Ive realized that my sleep schedule is just fucked now, so yeah its The Vampire Lestat Thoughts Time now

I wanted to start this post off by talking about the post I made immediately after reading Interview with the Vampire, which was a very short one where I think I basically just called Lestat a very pathetic abuser and I meant that in a very specific nunaced way but I dont think i did a good job conveying that. Anyway, the only person who ever interacted with it was a blog that was called smth like lestats-left-eye and they interacted with it like 8 minutes after I posted it and the reason I remember it so clearly is that I thought that was really menacing. Like, imagine you make a post calling some character a piece of shit and then within minutes you get a notification thats like "characters-no1-fan replied to your post". But they didnt say anything mean, they were basically just like "you need to read the vampire lestat STAT" presumably because they thought it would make me think differently about him but honestly all it did was make me more convinced of his patheticness, less so of his 'abuserness', for lack of a better term, but I think thats mainly because the Thing that would make me call him an abuser was his relationship with Louis and he didnt talk about that very much, and all his other relationships were just like, weird. so. At this point i feel like I should clarify that wben I call him that Im not doing that to moralize or to be judgemental of people who like him, I like him, i just feel like thats an accurate way of describing him and the particular way in which he was manipulative and demanded love

Anyway, the first thing that made him really pathetic in my eyes was the way he 'debunked' Louis' claims at the start of the Interview with a Vampire section because, idek how to describe it, but theres just something so annoying about it. Hes like "I mean, I suppose its true from his point of view, but i actually didnt indescriminately murder random people, I only killed the bad ones, and he also completely neglects to mention our romantic walks and our cute little shakespeare-reenactments for Claudia, and also he says Im stupid and dont know anything but I was actually just keeping the knowledge of our power from him because he seemed so burdened by what little he already had :(" like come on man. And obviously I understand that the power-thing in particular was a retcon because the first book was a standalone, but these books are really well-written and they dont break my immersion so I dont really feel the need to do like, extensive doylist-analysis, yknow what I mean

Like, Ive been reading the ACOTAR series by Sarah J Maas and Ive been critiquing and complaining about those books on a sideblog and authorial intent comes up a lot because theyre clearly trying to say one thing, convey one particular message in an honestly very annoyingly moralizing way, but what the characters actually do and say blatantly contradict it, and for all that the series' fans talk about all the characters being morally gray, theres a very obvious refusal to have them be anything other than paragons of goodness by both the texg and those same fans. And those are not issues I have with the Vampire Chronicles so far, so when i say that I find that Interview with the Vampire section annoying, Im not criticizing the writing, Im saying that Lestat seems like the most frustrating genre of person. I mean, I do have some criticisms of the writing, specifically of the story, but I'll get to that later

For now I wanted to elaborate a little on why I found Lestat so annoying, and its the fact that he spent this whole book talking big game about being evil and revolutionizing the evil-game but then at the end he seemed so unwilling to just let the general public actually think of him as such, even though most humans considered it fiction, like he had to soften the blow at the end. And I do think its him just wanting to soften blow as opposed to him actually wanting to set the record straight because he cares that much about the truth or whatever, because I think if he actually cared about that, he wouldve been a bit more specific instesd of just being like "yeah, Louis said a bunch of things that are wrong about me, but I can forgive him because I suppose they were right from his perspective, even though they arent really" like dude.

It really feels like hes just using this evil-shtick as a crutch and as some kind of self-justification for being unlovable. Like, if hes evil and no one loves him thats fine because evil has no need for love, but if hes evil and someone does love him thats even better because then its a deep romance capable of withstanding anything, yknow what Im saying? But then he talked about the fact that demons in hell and vampires are capable of love and he talks a lot about his own capacity to love, so idk. I definitely feel like he feels a measure of resentment at the fact that Magnus, who was this horrifying stranger that immediately abandoned him, was able to inspire this great love in Lestat but his pretty self wasnt able to do the same with the fledgelings that he turned who were people that he knew and loved in life and/or that he spent decades of his undead existence with

Granted, maybe unlovable isnt the most accurate term to use here bc I dont think that exactly is what matters to him, but I cant think of a better one rn. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe its less about him wanting to convince the general public that he wasnt the pretty pathetic and despicable person Louis described him as, and more about him wanting to convince himself that Louis doesnt actually think of him that way. Or maybe 'cant' is a better word to use here instead of 'doesnt' because the way he says that Louis left out the less dysfunctional parts of their relationship kind of makes me think that Lestat thinks those parts being present makes his feelings and his view of these things unjustified, and I feel like theres a bit of an accusation there that hes purposefully trying to slander him, but the thing is, Louis has way less of an incentive to lie about Lestat than Lestat does to lie about Louis. Like Louis just kinda randomly agreed to do this interview from some guy decades after they last saw each other and then it got published. Even if you said that Louis was somehow masterminding the interview-guy, I just couldnt believe it because I dont see a reason as to why he would do all this and I dont think hes the kind of guy who just does shit for no reason. I also dont think hes nearly as spiteful as Lestat to do this. Also the idea that he would try to slander like this is stupid because who would care about this. Like, humans just see it as fiction and vampires are mad about him giving out the names and locations of vampires but I dont think they actually care about this niche insane relationship drama. And frankly, I feel like Lestat is just way more deluded. Like he calls Louis and Nikolas cynics but Im just like, no, I think those guys are realists and youre prone to delusions of grandeur. but then Im a pretty cynical person myself, so I would say that, wouldnt I

That actually leads really nicely to the second thing that makes me find him really pathetic, and its basically just the entirety of the last three or four chapters. Or, I guess I wouldve called them pathetic if it didnt look like they were at least kind of true ?

Okay so, while I was reading those last few chapters I was basically thinking to myself "okay, Lestat is obviously just making all of this up, I predict that the next book is gonna have a bit where Louis is like 'yeah, I read that autobiography of his and I guess i cant confirm or deny most of it bc he never fucking told me anything, but he just completely made that last bit up, I never went to come find him, and infact, now that hes done this ive decided that Im only communicating with him via passive aggresive autobiographies in which we continously debunk each others claims about our relationship'" because its just. come on, did those chapters not feel like a self-indulgent daydream? Like, "i was looking out the window the day before my big concert when my ex-boyfriend that I still love showed up and I went outside to see him and he was looking really bad in his jeans and sweatshirt but its fine bc i love him, and he hugged and kissed me just like he used to, like a lover <3, and he was sooooooo concerned for my safety and he asked me to just stay with him forever but this time I was the one to reject him, but then I still managed to convince him to go to my concert with me and we kissed before the show started and he was in the audience cheering me on after that, and it was the best concert anyone has ever seen and I felt so awesome standing on that stage, and then once it was over we were attacked by some of my vampiric h8ers but it was all good because my mom appeared out of nowhere to save us and she was wearing modern clothes obviously but otherwise she was exactly the same as when she abandoned me 200 years ago" hey buddy, i thought you were writing an autobiography not fanfiction about how you wish the people you love would stop abandoning you

Louis' behaviour for this whole section is the main thing that ticks me off because I felt that he was just so out-of-character. And obviously the characters that feature prominently in both books are quite different in both of them, but they are still recognizable as themselves which was not the case with Louis imo. And granted, there is a pretty significant gap between me reading the first book and me reading this one so my memory is a little foggy about everything that happened in it, but Louis was just way too outwardly-lovey-dovey for someone who, when talking about their relationship to an unrelated third party 11 years ago, decades after they last saw each other, at best seemed to look back on all that with complicated resentment. Like I just dont buy it at all.

But again, I was reading all that with the assumption that this would (at least partially) turn our to be made-up, and yknow, it still might I guess, hope is the thing that dies last and all, but Im a lot less convinced of that because of the stuff with Akasha

And now its finally time to talk about my criticisms regarding the story and theyre all linked to Akasha and her cringefail husband and honestly Marius too. Im curious if this is a hot take or if this stuff is something that a lot of people dont like. Like, if youre immersed in the book fandom please tell me if this is a thing where you read that I have some criticisms of the story and you immediately knew it was gonna be this, or if youre surprised because the majority of people find the lore very interesting. But when youre telling me, please do so without spoiling me, Ive come this far knowing a very minimal amount about these books and I would very much like to keep it that way and finish all of these books until I start to fully engage with the fandom but I am very curious. Also, I am open to discuss all of this if any of you would like that, just please respect that fact that I dont know anything that happens in later books and that I would like to keep it that way

But anyway. Full disclosure, I already didnt like Marius when Lestat met him in person, I thought he was interesting as a component of Armand's backstory but I really didnt want him to still be alive and I didnt want Lestat to find him and speak to him and then he not only did both of those things, but he was like super buddy-buddy with him in a way that bothered me. And as if all of that wasnt enough, he goes on this lore dump that lasts like 9 chapters that is so fucking boring I dont even have the words to adequately describe just how bored and tired I was reading it. And the things that were revealed in this loredump were just weird and baffling in a distinctly bad way, and I feel like usually when you get stupid worldbuilding in books that are trying to Say Something its to enhance the themes of the plot, but I cant possibly imagine how any of this stuff with Akasha and her cringefail husband and the demons who possessed them does that

Like, the main thing that I find compelling about Anne Rice's vampires is their humanity and the fact that their moral and existential dilemmas are fundamentally the same as the ones that humans face because theyre essentially just more durable humans, and while this origin story doesnt change anything about that on a deeper level, it still really bothers me. Because humans dont have this clean epic symbolic origin story where we all came from two people that can easily be named, we just kinda evolved into existence for no grand, religious, immediately-obvious reason, but we ponder our own collective existence anyway, just like these vampires. Hell, plenty of us even think lf ourselves as monsters of destruction who shouldnt exist for the way we hurt our environment and other creatures. And like, Im not saying that they should be talking about evolution in the 1700s or that I explicitly want it said that vampires evolved alongside humans because that would just be stupid in a new way, but idk. I guess what Im trying to say is that I really didnt need an explanation for how these vampires came into existence because I was engaged enough with their philosophical discussions and fucked up relationship dynamics that it didnt even cross my mind to ask any questions about their collective origin.

And just on a basic level, none of this ancient vampire history-bullshit satisfied me in any way. Also, the whole descriptions of everything in ancient egypt and whatever-that-keltoi-place-was-called just felt kinda off, like they were lacking the authenticity of all the other descriptions, and its not because we didnt spend a whole novel exploring those places because we only got a very brief snipped of Armand's backstory and that part wasnt lacking at all. I was initially ready to chalk this up to a classic combination of orientalism and racism, but honestly, given that the parts about the super-pale blonde people werent that much better in this regard, I think its mostly a case of us just not knowing a lot about these ancient peoples. Like, I dont know a lot about 1700s France or 1800s America but when I read about those places in these books I do get the impression that Anne Rice knows a lot about those places or that she did a lot of a research on them, whereas with ancient egypt and the keltoi-place Im just kinda like "well, this is obviously just a bunch of madeup bullshit innit". And it really frustrates me that I cant really tell if its meant to be made-up bullshit in-universe or if its meant to be true, but I guess Im gonna have to get used to that feeling if I wanna keep having a fun time reading The Unreliable Narrator Chronicles books

Regardless of the actual bullshit-status of Marius' stories though, I was quite surprised and very disappointed that Lestat seemed to just believe it with no issues. Like, 1984!Lestat didnt add any commentary to Marius claims, he just repeated them verbatim bc why not, and 1700s!Lestat didnt have any questions or doubts that I can remember. And like, even if it is true, why was he just okay with that being the truth, I feel like he should at the very least be a little angry at the revelation that theres these oldass vampires who have to stay alive or else all the other vampires will die. Again, to kindof tie this back to my previous point, humans arent like that, we dont have some kind of anker-point that needs to stick around or else we'll all die, so this doesnt feel like its adding anything to the existentialist themes of the series. Its also logistically kinda stupid because we're told all of vampire kind is tied to both of them but like, how does that work? What if you only killed one of them) Are all the female vampires tied to Akasha and all the male ones to her cringefail husband, or are all the vampires that Akasha bit connected to her and then all the vampires that were bit by her vampires are connected to her through their makers as well and so on and so on? Iirc we're told that if you killed one of them, you would kill the other or they would just kill themself or something so it wouldnt really matter, but like, if you could just kill one of them without the other one ending up dead, what would happen?

And like, theres things about these vampires that dont really make any sense, like the fact that their fingernails look like glass or even bigger things like the fact that drinking dead blood is very harmful but drinking blood from other undead people has a healing effect, but those things dont put a huge damper on the series' themes so far so I dont care about them

But anyway, the thing that bothers me the most about all this is that Lestat didnt see or acknowledge the obvious similarities between what Marius was telling him and what Armand's coven used to believe. Like, what's the difference, really, between "vampires were created by the devil and are servants of the devil (aka demons)" and "vampirism was created by a demon and then given to two humans who them created other vampires"? I guess its the fact that Marius doesnt let his belief prevent him from enjoying life, but then it doesnt really feel like Lestat needed to talk to this guy, or like hes actually as open-minded as Marius said he was. Like, Marius basically told him "unlike most people, youre genuinely open-minded because youre listening to what I have to say about how to gain meaning in life" and Lestat, who basically already believed the same things as Marius when it came to that before they ever even met, said "yes i totally agree"

On a similar note, how fucking convinient that Lestat had this weird improbable idea about Osiris being a vampire god and then it basically turned out to be true. Like not literally, but the two people whose story directly inspired Osiris and Isis were both vampires and theyre like, the first vampires. what are the odds of that

Also Im pretty sure Marius said something along the lines "most people dont like what I tell them about the origin of vampires because they want a clean creation myth and thats not what happened" before he started talking about it, but then it was just a clean creation myth ? Like, in a previous paragraph I said that humans dont have an origin where everyone is descendet from two people, and as I was writing that I noticed that the story about Anasha and her cringeful husband is remarkably similar to that of Adam and Eve. or maybe not remarkably similar, but similar enough that I feel like Im not reaching when I say that

And of course this is a story with characters that are unreliable narrators on purpose so all of this might be 100% intentional and might pay off somehow at some point, but Im not really gonna know until I read the next one I guess and Im gonna have a hard time motivating myself to do that when the ending of this one was so bad (to me!!).

Idk, basically what Im hoping for right now is that this series will comtinue to deconstruct and retcon itself, both because that keeps me on my toes in a way thats fun (especially because Im going in completely blind) and because godddddd I really dont want to deal with any of the stuff involving Anasha, i think its all so stupid. I really hope that in the next book it turns out that atleast the stuff about all vampires' lives being tied to hers turns out not to be true and thats shes just gonna be a strong old vampire whos special because of her super strong psychic powers and because her blood makes other vampires strong (which is another concept I really dont jive with, the stuff with older vampires being strong and making strong vampires, but I dont really have much to say about it beyond that, so I'll just leave it at this). But honestly, Im really just hoping that in order to not disappoint myself too mucj, in my truest heart of hearts Im actually hoping that Lestat just decided to dip his toes into fiction writing 97% into his autobiography and then that Queen of Darkness is gonna be an in-uinverse fiction book written by Lestat de Lioncourt

But again, I probably wont feel like finding out for a little while, and as I think about it Im noticing that its mostly because Im not looking forward to having the same borderline-spiritual experience that I had with The Vampire Lestat, where I entered this monk-like state of mind and then walked through the city to the busstation feeling like I wasnt occupying the same reality as everyone else around me, with this book that I have a suspicion that I will not like it. And before you ask, yes, I know that I would have the same experience because it had basically nothing to do with the plot or themes of The Vampire Lestat, its just that my legs were hurting because I had been sitting on a wood chair with no pillow and continuously rocking back and forth because thats how I stim when Im sitting, and also my brain felt fried from how I forced myself to focus and read this book whose language is pretty challenging for a non-native speaker for 8 hours straight

Anyway, this ended up being way longer than anticipated but Im glad. Believe it or not, even though most of this post was just me complaining about one thing or another, I did like this book and I like that it made me think all this and that it made me feel passionate enough to write it all down, even though I do genuinely dislike the ending and am not really looking forward to reading the next one. But I definitely will do it at some point, so dont take this as a sign to tell me what happens in it, I maintain that I do not want to be spoiled. If one of my hopes ends up coming true and you want to encourage me to read it that way for some reason, please only do so in the vagues possible terms. like literally just tell me "ayyyyyy youre right 👍" without eleborating. And if you want to be evil, you can tell me that even though my predictions arent true and make my disappointment even more crushing that way ^^

Alright, thats it, I hope you enjoyed this. Also, I did end up managing to go to bed an hour after I originally started writing this, and then I ended up waking up again at like 4am and wrote some more and then I took a nap and wrote some more and then I took another nap, and it just kinda kept going like this and now its 3.30 pm so. you better appreciate that even if you think my takes are bad