#and if thats the only change it brings then its still worth it

[toxiccaves]

we have people making posts that come off as anti-voting and then they go to say no thats not what we actually mean.

but then you have people on these posts saying theyre not going to vote or they dont care if t*ump can run again and wins and i just need to say. you fell for propaganda.

we still have a year and no idea where we will be at that time or who we're voting for, but we still need to come together and make a decision at that time because if you genuinly think we can stand another year of enabling bigots as loudly as they were, you are very wrong.

we get it, you mean to say we need to demand change from who we vote for, and that voting someone in does not guarantee change, and its evident not many people in govt represent the people. So say that instead!

you still need to go out and do it! voter supression is a thing for a reason! make this the bare minimum single thing you do, then continue doing every other radical revolutionary thing you suggest! the fact so many people are hopping on current events to start this anti-voting misinformation campaign is upsetting and questionable

[charmercharm3r]

Make Love, Not Porn

Play Time!

HHJ

Masterlist, Series Masterlist

18+ content — minors, do not interact.

wc: 3.8k

Synopsis: You crave a life of normalcy, he craves you. And he'd do anything to keep you, even if you're for the world to see.

warnings: barista!hyunjin x cam girl!reader, smut, explicit sexual content, masturbation (m, f), he's a little obsessed, easing into the smuttier smut if that's even a thing.

Live : Play Time!

Next Scheduled Broadcast : Heat Signature

☆ﾟ

Rule number one; everybody is temporary.

There is no love in this industry, no trust, no friends, only coworkers that all want the same thing. Sometimes you work with them more than once, other times– most times, it’s a one-and-done deal.

They never want to stay anyways, you learned that lesson the hard way. It’s why you set up such a tough wall to break through, there’s no point in befriending anyone on your side of the pond.

It’s scary, really, how quickly you can be moaning someone’s name, kissing them like you need them to breathe, touching and feeling them as intimately as someone who truly was in love. Then as soon as the livestream ends, you can’t remember what their lips feel like and everything smells like latex and sweat. You offer them some water, snacks, a shower. They usually decline. Minutes later, your front door is shutting and you’re alone once again.

No one ever intends on getting into porn, you don’t even remember the details on how you ended up here. Your follower count had risen overnight and before you knew it, that one video had gotten you more money in a week than a month’s worth of minimum wage ever did. The humiliation was nonexistent considering you hadn’t even posted yourself naked that first time, if anything you were excited to post again. Who knew a video of you just sitting in a chair, playing with yourself under your skirt with your knees pressed closed would take off so rapidly. That thirty second video changed your life.

– fuck, who is this?? are they new??

– thats so hot. face reveal?

– show us your tits

– god i wanna fuck u so bad

– suck my dick pls

Those comments didn’t bother you, it was a little flattering if you were being honest with yourself. People wanted you, they don’t even know your real name, have never seen your face or what you look like in the sunlight. They don’t know you and yet, you’re everything to them, so much so that they pay you for your time, and body. They fill your wallet just for you to read their comment out loud, attention whores for you. And you love it. For some reason, their praise is much more fulfilling than anyone you've guested on your livestreams.

Recently, though, you’ve stopped bringing people on, not much to your viewer’s disapproval. There was more interaction and less vulgarity, like they wanted you to actually speak to them rather than just stuff your pussy with whatever new dildo you’d been gifted in your PO box.

You hadn’t planned on having such a personal stream today, you honestly just wanted the relief and thought your viewers would have a good time. But for some reason, the comments were less about getting you to take your clothes off and more about why your voice was shaking.

“It’s okay, I’m okay. Really!” Even you could hear the subtle octave change. “If you wanted me to cry, you could’ve just said please. You know I’ll do anything for you.” 

Perhaps the forced sultriness of your voice worked its charm, the comments quickly switched back to their normal obscenities once you started to unbutton your top. Truthfully, you preferred when they asked you to get naked, it was a lot easier to do than to admit what it was you were really lacking. Honest companionship is the rarest thing.

Rule number two: no identifying features.

Even if you weren’t ashamed, your job is still taboo. No one and everyone knew what it was you did. Your best friend helped you pick lingerie and background mood lighting, your parents thought you were an office worker. Strangers have seen your most private parts, you only allow your grandma to give you a kiss on the cheek during Christmas. Safe to say your occupation was strictly need-to-know.

You’re glad you started live streaming before deciding to get any tattoos, running the risk of someone stopping you in the middle of the street was the most terrifying thing you could imagine happening. Naturally, you avoided getting anything at all once your streams started to really take off.

There was nothing you wore to accessorize unless a patron paid for it in advance, that was always done a week before streams and the contact with the patron was never more than a simple google form and an email from your business account to confirm. Other than that, you were a blank canvas, just a body with a voice that left more to the imagination than you would think. If your viewers were happy, you were happy.

“What do you think of my new nail color? A special someone picked it out for me,” you held out your hands to display the pretty shine, twiddling your fingers. The comments went crazy, “no, no, not anyone like that, c’mon! You know you’re my number one. But I think you should all give lovely user callingherdaddy a thank you for picking it out. Thank you, sir.”

You took the polish off the next morning.

Rule number three: be consistent.

Nothing kills a steady income more than ghosting the ones that put the money in your pocket. You stuck to a strict schedule of three streams every week and frequent posts on your socials. The stuff you posted on your social media wasn’t even related to your work on camming, but it doesn’t hurt when they leave a couple nice comments. 

With a schedule and job like yours, you need a little bit of normalcy. Self employed, you don’t have a real routine when you aren’t streaming. It was starting to make you feel lazy, a bit lethargic, and overall unmotivated.

It wasn’t until recently did you decide to start doing normal people things, like waking up at 7 a.m., doing a mini work out, grocery shopping in the morning, even getting yourself a coffee from the shop near your house as a treat. Doing this was nice, you felt good, your head was clearer. Hell, you even got excited when it came time to do your cams because you felt so full of energy.

You had only been to the coffee shop once or twice before, but to get yourself to keep the routine, you told yourself you’d go every day for the next two weeks. Afterall, it only takes 21 days to form a habit.

It was packed, as usual for a morning weekday. There were only about six baristas working, all scurrying about the bar to get through the morning rush. You liked watching them, mindlessly completing drinks in such a way that made you a little jealous. Most of them seemed your age, obviously you knew that they couldn’t have all had perfect lives, but at least this part of their day was something they could openly complain about.

Were you really jealous? Of normal people? You had to be insane.

Shaking your head, you walked further into the shop and waited in line. You thought nothing of it, placing your order, “iced chai with three blonde shots, please,” and handed the barista the card, “thank you.”

You barely looked up at him, only when he held onto your card a little longer as you tried to take it back did you make eye contact. A little awkward, the barista was staring at you with wide eyes. He was handsome, too handsome to be working behind the counter. Long black hair framed his face nicely, pretty plump lips, and an endearing little mole under his eye that made his siren stare only slightly less intimidating. Yeah, handsome.

He didn’t look away even after he let you take your card back.

“S– sorry. You look like–”

“It’s okay. Thanks again.” You hurried away as fast as you could. He couldn’t have known who you were, right? Not a chance, you have never shown your face. You were wearing too many clothes for any particular body part to be recognizable. It’s just a coincidence.

Either way, the minor interaction with the barista scared you into hiding again, forgetting going out for anything else you had planned and deciding to hole away at home.

You had a livestream to do later anyways, focus on that. There were a few hours left for you to kill before turning on the camera, now would be as good a time as any to set up.

It wasn’t much that you did, mostly just thinking of what it was you thought viewers would like to see for the day. An hour before the scheduled stream, you set up a waiting room on the website that hinted at what the day’s theme would be. Today you thought you’d go a little easy on the eyes; “live soon, hardcandysweetheart: play time! <3”

A typical stream would start off soft, greeting viewers like any other meeting. You’d ask how their day was, if there was anything in particular they wanted to do or talk about, some answered genuinely while others urged you to strip. You liked the ones that asked you how your day was, too, and enjoyed sharing your thoughts with them. Though, it was no secret what everyone was here for, even if sometimes– just sometimes, you liked what came before taking off your clothes more than anything.

“I have a few things in mind for play time today, I’d like to hear what you guys think. Would you prefer this,” in your hand, you held up your favorite vibrator, big and baby pink. “Or this?” in the other, a new grinder that resembled the shape of a tentacle with the sucker-side up.

Comment section didn’t slow down as soon as you showed the second toy. “I thought you might like this one. I got it just for you! I’m excited to try it out with you.”

– im so fucking hard

– i wanna see ur pussy

– thats so nice, ur sweet

“Slow down! Haha, we’re gonna take our time,” you laughed away the weird feeling in your chest as you read the fleeing comments. “You’re so impatient today, lovely. Did you have a hard day? I know I did,” you slowly peeled down the blouse you wore, letting it hang off your shoulders to expose your bare shoulders. It seemed redundant to wear a bra, but you kept the shirt covering your breasts for dramatic effect, hard nipples peaking through.

“I just wanna take it a little more… gentler, if that’s alright.” The camera was angled to cut off at your neck to avoid showing your face, but you bit your lip anyways as you held up the grinder. “It’s a little out of my comfort zone, honestly. I’ve never told you about this fantasy before.” You ran your finger down the rubber center, feeling the many little suction cups bend.

You giggled as you came to the swirled tip of the tentacle, playing with the way it curled and how pliable it was. “When I ordered this, they let me choose the color. I think pink suits me, don’t you? But I also thought, maybe blue? Or black… but then it would be too hard for you to see, right?”

As you spoke, you laid the grinder between your legs but not quite touching it. With two fingers, you stroked it the same way you would your own pussy. Your other free hand was doing just that right behind the toy and beneath the length of your shirt, feeling your wetness building up with your hand down your panties. “Oh my, just talking to you– my underwear is soaked!” The giggle that left your lips was genuine, you didn’t expect to work yourself up so quickly.

You stole your fingers from your cunt and showed it to the camera, spreading them to let your viewers see the slick coating shine in the soft lighting. “Heh, told ya I was excited. You make me like this.”

When you started to really get going it was hard to pay attention to the comments, you tended to get a little lost until you finally came. Like now, you brought the toy closer to your core, lightly lifting yourself to sit on it. As soon as you did, you let out a whimper.

Hyunjin had never felt so embarrassed in his life. He doesn’t even know why, he couldn’t have been sure of anything.

Except he was. He was 100% sure, plus another 10% for good measure. He hadn’t even known about the site for long, you were just his favorite. He’d found hardcandysweetheart and never bothered to look anywhere else.

You were just another customer at first, a pretty one that caught his attention. He noticed you in line and had every intention of flirting and possibly asking for you to sign up for the rewards program with them just so he could use that as an excuse to get your number. Then you spoke.

All you fucking did was speak. “Please,” and “thank you,” and Hyunjin fucking crumbled.

Jesus, he must have looked like an idiot. He knows he did, but he was star struck. Fanboying, red in the face with embarrassment, about to fold at the knees, and hard as a fucking rock all at the same time. He had to excuse himself to the restroom as soon as you left just to get his boner to go away.

If it really was you– and he hoped to god it wasn’t– he’ll never forget such a pretty face.

Which is why he turned on notifications for your stream. He knew your schedule by heart but he needed to be sure that it was your voice he heard. As soon as he got home from his shift, clothes came off and he was sat in bed with his laptop nearby, just waiting for the ping notification from you.

God, it was you. As soon as he heard you through his headphones, it confirmed what he already knew.

What a kind voice, supple, soft, he could listen to you for hours– he has listened to you for hours. Sometimes he wished you could do live streams of just you talking, you never even had to take your clothes off. Now that he knew what you looked like, Hyunjin’s heartbeat faster than it ever did when you made conversation.

It was the way you did, as though you were speaking to him and only him. The image he created of you in his head looked like it was thought up by a child in comparison to seeing you in real life. He could put a face to the voice now, he wasn’t even thinking about your body. Just your voice.

“You make me like this,” you said in almost a whisper, tone cracking just a little the more you sat on the toy.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but palm at himself, not entirely stroking but moving at the same pace. This was a team effort, in his mind. You made him crazy, as he did to you. That was his fantasy. You always spoke with so much love in your voice, as though you truly cared for him and it got him harder than any other kind of porn ever could.

Was that really all it took? Was he that pathetic? Someone who didn’t even know who he was, talking to an ocean of people that all saw the same thing he did, and suddenly it’s the only thing that can make him cum.

He can’t even complain now, he’s seen you. That’s enough spank bank to last him a lifetime if you ever suddenly decided to stop camming. Shit– he hopes he didn’t just manifest that into existence.

The white button up top draped in front of your cunt to hide away from view. That’s alright, you said you were taking it slow today. Your hips slowly pushed forward and back, hands gripping tightly at the armrests of your uncomfortable looking desk chair. Hyunjin thought it was kind of cute how you would still cam in the same seat as you did when he found your first video. 

His laptop on his abdomen concealed the view of his cock leaking, but the way you were sat on screen, he could envision it was him you were sitting on instead. That’s exactly what he imagined as you rocked faster into the toy, lifting your shirt and balling it in your fist to show that your wetness had spread to the front of your panties. Hyunjin didn’t even mind that the bold pink tentacle blocking a bit of the view, you were getting so into it that he hardly noticed anymore.

Hyunjin fumbled to find his dick, slowly beginning to squeeze the head as you turned to shorter and quicker ruts towards the front of the toy where the tentacle curled up. You moaned loudly, making him do so as well in return. “Fuck, I ruined this pair, didn’t I?”

Your cute laugh had Hyunjin breaking out into a smirk, “that’s okay,” he whispered to no one but himself.

“I should take it off but,” you rolled your hips again with a whine, “I kinda want you to work for it.”

The tips in the corner of the page were pinging like crazy as soon as you said that. He himself tapped the button rapidly and paid no mind to how his account balance shot down.

“C’mon now, don’t be shy. It’s just one little word that I wanna hear. I’ll say it first, if that makes you feel better.” The speed of your hips picked up a little, in turn Hyunjin let his fist slowly work up and down, no faster than you, of course.

“Please. Please, is the word I’m looking for, lovely. Say it, just once.”

Fuck, he couldn’t help speeding up just a little. He loved the way you said it, even more the way you commanded him to say it as well. “Please,” the whimper came out breathy and uneven as the precum lubricated his cock more.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Hyunjin shook his head, no. 

“No, it wasn’t. Look what happens when you ask nicely,” you stood from your seat just to pull off the flimsy fabric, sitting fully back down on the toy and holding up the soaked pair with another chuckle. “You get nice things.”

Hyunjin could hear how wet you really were now, every lewd sound that came from you rubbing yourself back and forth on the grinder. You still didn’t let him– them– see you fully. He wasn’t even sure if you’d expose yourself at all this stream. Still, his fist picked up speed as you did, taking in every grunt you let out when you’d hit a particularly good spot. Hyunjin kept his eyes on you the whole time, memorizing the way you moved, what angle made you tick.

“C’mon lovely, I know you can do better than that.”

You were referring to the tip counter, but Hyunjin took it as he can do better than that. His other hand reached around the laptop, down to cup his balls as he worked his cock faster, occasionally running his fingers over the head for a break in stimulation. Somehow he managed to stop touching himself for a split second to rapid fire extra tips when they slowed down.

“Oh, someone wants a little extra attention today. What do I call you, lovely?” Hyunjin wasn’t sure if you were speaking to him, though he hoped and typed a nickname anyways. “Baby? That’s cute. Thank you, baby, you’re so sweet.”

His hand instantly returned to his dick, not caring about the speed anymore, instead wanting to cum to the sound of your voice. He quickly tapped the tip button a few more times and you giggled, “baby, you’re spoiling me. Here, since you’re being so nice,” you lifted the hem of your shirt to put your bare cunt on display, seemingly tucking the end of it into your mouth.

Hyunjin could see it so clearly, your pretty lips drooling onto the fabric, biting it to contain the moans that wanted to slip past. Fuck, he was going insane, wet, slick noises from his animalistic fisting on his cock almost surpassing the volume of your voice in his headphones. 

He just watched now, listened intently to how good you were making yourself feel and it made his body light a fire. You were clearly getting closer as well, forgetting the dirty talk and humping away at the toy with little to no regard for who was watching. Hyunjin loved this side of you the most, when you couldn’t think of anything other than the impending pleasure. He could imagine your eyes rolling back, the furrow in your brow and beads of sweat dripping down your temples as you came nearer to falling over the edge. Your hands moved to grip the edge of the seat, aiding in pushing your body forward and back harder against the grinder and Hyunjin was jerking himself with a hotter fervor. Your muffled cries echoed in his head– he was making you feel like this, he was the one you were using to please yourself, he was the one you thought of as you came all over his cock.

Hyunjin suddenly held his breath and let his release take over his body, squeezing and pumping the tip of his cock as he spurt his seed all over his stomach and back of his computer. By the time he’d come to, opened his eyes, and regained his breath, you were slumped back in your chair and panting heavily. He missed your grand finale, but that was okay with him, you came at the same time. Even in post nut clarity, he wanted to hear your voice. More than that, he wanted to hold you, run his fingers through your hair, kiss you until you were breathless all over again.

Hyunjin’s shaky hand found the tip button again and tapped.

“Thank you, baby.” He smiled.

You groaned and found the strength to steal the toy from your aching cunt, holding it up for the camera to see it glistening with your essence. Laughing, “this was fun, wasn’t it? I enjoyed myself, I might have to buy more of these.” You tossed it onto the desk and suddenly seemed shy, tugging your shirt as far down as you could without exposing more skin. “Until next time, lovely. I’ll miss you.” You waved your dainty fingers at the camera, doing your signature sign off, and the screen went black.

Hyunjin’s head fell back into his pillows, staring at the ceiling trying to understand all the emotions he just rushed through. 

He couldn’t compute them even if he tried. All he knew was that he was excited to go to work tomorrow morning, hoping that whatever god heard his plea, begging that you’ll come in.

When he went to shut his laptop, his fingers smeared the warm mess that was slowly dripping. “Fuck— ew,” and he hurried to clean up, alone once again.

☆ﾟ

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @dazzlingligth @alexis-reads-fics @linaliskz @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44 @yeetmehome @in2heartz @astroodledream @the-sweetest-rose @goblinracha @lilbugs-things @viviennenstan @staurdvst @alex--awesome--22 @imzenning @jeyelleohe @iadorethemskz @skyvastbunny @mamabymychem @katsukis1wife @woozarts @noellllslut

[poppy-metal]

i need art to drop a bomb on reader for sperm donor!au and cut tashi the fuck off. she can’t just check out of the relationship when it’s convenient for her😭 we don’t have the same luxury. she can be happy with patrick— but not at the cost of us or our baby. i’m all for leaving her toxic ass. perhaps even for our baby daddy!

(but this is 100% my vengeful, petty side coming out)

unfortunately, i think reader is so in love with tashi she really would forgive her if tashi wanted to work things out - her self worth has been SHOT since annabellas birth - she just wants to be a good mom, so badly she genuinely believes its her fault for slacking on being a good wife - part of what made her and tashi work was how much of a devoted acolyte you were - at tashi's beck and call. now if she wants to go on a date you have to bring the baby, she can't bring you to events because anna will get fussy, you dont go on morning runs with her anymore because your body aches too much lately. its kind of insane really, you'd think she'd realize all this change would happen - but even tashi doesn't know everything. she just wanted to make you happy. she didn't know it'd mean so much would change.

in my head in this au tashi is her full selfish self that the film was too afraid to let her fully be - she likes being the center of someone's world. she liked the fact that she married you, picked you, but had art and patrick still in her orbit. she liked that she barely had to push art at all before he agreed to give you a baby. she never cheated on you before - but it was a kind of emotional betrayal nonetheless. when annabella was born and your devotion shifted - and arts did too, he didn't look at her with that awestruck loopy boy in love gaze anymore. he was always wanting to be around you and the baby. patrick was the only one left fully obsessed with her and only her. falling into bed with him was easy.

she feels alot of guilt. just because she's selfish doesn't mean she's evil - she still loves you. thats why its an affair and she's keeping it from you. she doesn't want to leave. you still love her, she knows you do. she doesn't know how it will end - if she'll have her fun and end it with patrick when shes ready to settle more, or if she'll always keep him around to fill a bed with her when you're not around. she doesn't know and she doesn't want to dwell on it.

patrick is simple because hes really just fully in love with tashi - always has been always will be. doesn't care how shitty of a person it makes him to sleep with her behind your back, doesn't matter that he likes you as a person, if tashi calls, he's there, period.

and if art tells you - isn't he just doing that for himself too? thats why he's hesitant to let you know. he doesn't want to come across like he's happy it happened - he doesn't want to be in annabellas and your life that way. he wants you to fall in love with him like hes fallen in love with you. he wants you to want him to be your partner. not just choose him because everyone else betrayed you.

[usuratongaychi]

Drawings + Rants + Headcanons/Naruto AU

i finally had some time to draw my versions of tean seven (minus kakashi). im gonna detail more of my AU later in the post but here are the designs and some notes.

For sasuke, in one of my other posts i had the theory that sasuke keeps his hair short to avoid resembling itachi, and thats why it is longer in time skip, because he is coming to terms with his trauma and still loves itachi. I also gave him similar creases to itachi, just from stress.

tbh im not too sure about this naruto design…but at least he isnt balding like before💀.

for sakura, i actually really like her older design, so i just drew her working. she would have her hair up and i gave her sakura blossom hair pins and eyeshadow.

also i havent drawn in forever so..thats why its messy.

(the rest of this is me rambling on..)

Now for changes i made to the story:

1. Narusasu endgame (yk im a stan)

I would have both of them be joint hokages, so technically both are the 7th. I know Sasuke is referred to as the shadow hokage, but that doesn’t really entail anything. I think it’s important because Sasuke would know just how important reform is for the village and shinobi system, but since people are still suspicious of Uchihas, Naruto would be the face. This fulfills Naruto’s dream, which when you really think about it, his dream was just to be loved, not really to be a politician. Naruto has seen how unfair and corrupt their society is, so he would completely work with Sasuke to make sure things like Danzo and Hiruzen’s corruption, child soldiers, hyuuga slavery and the “Uchiha Incident” dont happen again. I could explain more of this in a later post.

2. I would have Hinata look up to Sakura more, instead of Naruto.

I think it makes a bit more sense, Sakura is brave, outspoken and independent, just like Hinata wants to be. I would have Sakura be her first friend, since she can’t stand to see people be excluded or alone. That leads me into changes I would make for Sakura’s story.

3. Sakura. In the original, I would keep her kind of bratty attitude until things get serious in the Zabuza arc. Seeing her close friends so close to death, while not being able to help much would challenge her to become a protector. This also gives motivation for her to learn healing and medicine when Tsunade comes around. Sakura would be the “rock” or “glue” of team seven, which makes sense because she is the only one of them that came from a stable home.

Sakura initially resents Sasuke for betraying the team, but seeing how dedicated Naruto is to saving him, she decides its worth it to help bring him back. Besides if she didn’t, naruto would just endager himself trying.

4. Sasuke. I would have Sasuke after he realizes Itachi was manipulated into a genocide to protect the village, still go through him “i’m gonna destroy the village” phase, but when Naruto defeats him, they make a promise to change things, so no one else will have to suffer like that. I would also show more of the psychological effects of witnessing Itachi’s murders. One of my headcanons is that he’s pretty thin, since trauma survivors tend to have chronic stomach pains. He’s probably pretty paranoid about others betraying him, so he does it to them first (probably why he pushes naruto away so much). Sasuke is also probably still ostracized or “othered” for being an uchiha, since that is what the village is told about them. People still pity him, but dont come near him.

5. Naruto. 😭I actually made up a whole theory on why Hiruzen didn’t take great care of naruto, bc to me it just doesn’t make sense. it’s kinda a dumb theory and doesn’t rlly have anything to do with canon, but- what if Minato wanted to expose the corruption in the hidden leaf and get rid of the foundation, so as a sort of revenge, or just general distaste for Minato, Hiruzen doesn’t really provide for Naruto. 🤷‍♀️idk. A change I would make is to have naruto mature more to match his age. Like ofc it makes sense for him to act out for attention esp when he was younger, but i feel like past shippuden..he didn’t really mature at all? maybe thats just me. I’ll probably have more stuff to add for him, i’ll think of it later or put it in my headcanons post.

😭im so tired yall i will make a better post later on.

[cozzzynook]

got any blitzbee for blitzbee week? or any ship with bee :]

So i’m a day late but the subject for day one being forbidden had art that inspired me so much.

I loved it.

Bee sneaking Blitzwing out who was kept in the lowest parts of autobot territory after being tortured.

He was physically tortured and it shows with how much energon he’s leaking and how much of his frame is missing. There’s a small pool of energon on the floor, his insignia has been ripped off. His wings were damaged but he could still fly. They badly damaged the treads of his tank alt mode and Bee winces at how heavy the chains are around his secret conjunxs neck cables and servos and pedes are.

They have to keep someone like Blitzwing in stasis cuffs and so the chains act as a numbing agent and keep him immobile. Bee sees all this even if his team tried to keep him from seeing it because they believed he was traumatized during his capture and thats why he won’t speak.

It wasn’t that though.

He and Blitzwing had known each other for millions of stellar cycles. Their courting was long, shy and done before the war actually broke out.

Bee was far older than they thought he was. Yeah he was still a young bot but he was emerged before the great wars really kicked off about a hundred years approximately. He’s only ever known war and it was during the war he met Blitzwing.

He was a young mech that got caught in a blast running to safety. He was relatively fine but the young seeker next to him was not.

Bee doesn’t know how he did it but he managed to bring the large lanky seeker into a destroyed shelter and patching him up the best he could.

Of course he recognized the decepticon insignia after helping him but at that time Bee knew the decepticons were right in fighting for freedom. This was before things became twisted and when Megatron wasn’t a warlord.

It was a couple days later before Blitzwing onlined. The mech was in a daze and couldn’t hold his own helm up. Bee managed to find some energon that wasn’t enough to quench even his thirst but he gave it to the large mech who greedily drank it before rushing to sit up with a wince.

Of course Bee was on guard and scurried back. He wasn’t stupid, a bleeding spark yes but not stupid, he knew he couldn’t take on any bot fighting in the war let alone a con as tall as this one.

But the con didn’t seem at all willing to hurt him in fact the con looked at him like he hung the stars covered by smog and smoke.

Bee can admit he was love struck looking into those optics the first time he truly saw them.

Its why he took the lanky mechs servo in his own and never looked back as he was led to a tent on an old and tribal looking base camp where many cons and those looking for change and safety wandered.

They initially were strangers who felt their spark soar every moment they were near another. Bee knew the mech when his designation was Frostwing.

Sharing soft touches, making sure their tent was clean and warm by the time the mech came back. Making energon for them and others who were injured, helping patch wounds under medics guided servos so he could be of use and not feel like a rusted bag of spare parts.

Before autobots became too underhanded bots were still emerging sparklings and even having them. He would help take care of them and help around the tents so the carriers wouldn’t have to clean and could rest.

He remembers the early days of being with the decepticons off battlefield. They were damaged, broken and hurt. But warm, kind and caring in ways he didn’t associate with autobots.

Frostwing as well.

Especially Frostwing.

Bots wouldn’t believe him if he said the mech who became a triple changer and cannibal once brought him sweet energon every week in the roughest of war zones because he believed he was worth it. This same mech who made sure he was cuddled close to his chassis, rubbing his helm to lull him into recharge with the help of his spark was the same mech who later was injured so badly in the middle of the war they used the triple changer project to bring him back.

Changing him painfully without consent with manipulation and no care for his well being.

Bee knew better than to say something. He didn’t want to risk either of them being offlined. Its was then he knew the decepticons had changed but it was too late.

Frostwing was now a valuable weapon and Bee was far too indebted to them to leave. Not to mention he was the sparkbond and conjunx of Frostwing now named Blitzwing.

His love was given two additional face plates and a fractured processor and frame that left him aching and in pain for what felt like stellar cycles.

Bee stayed up every night with him keeping his frame from over heating and administering pain lines to ease his torment.

He was afraid his love had changed drastically and wouldn’t love him anymore. Wouldn’t be able to live in a frame with a mind so altered and so suddenly after a near death experience.

Bee knew the moment he saw his beloved changed he would stay by his side no matter what. He just feared Blitzwing would not want him.

But his fears were for nothing.

His love, his spark and beautiful conjunx still took one look at him and reached out his servo to wipe away his tears. Blitzwing looked at him like the day they first met.

His mech was still so love with him and Bee couldn’t have been happier.

He felt he jinxed their happiness because it wasn’t long before they were nearing the end of the war that a deadly raid took place.

Carriers were kidnapped, sparklings were offlined, mechs were losing their processors at the loss of their families and the extricating cut off of their bonds.

He knew Megatron still had a spark somewhere left in there because he ordered a retreat and took to the front lines and was the last to board the ship. Whoever he could take he did.

But by then it was too late.

Majority of the sparklings were gone.

The carriers were all offline from the loss of their sparklings or being killed. Sires sparks had given out due to the pain and he was held by high command kept in a tight grip assumed to be a prisoner made to do servant labor.

He remembers the feeling of his spark flickering at watching the ship leave and the battles to come. Blitzwing was his worst trying to get to him. Find any clue of him before being declared too dangerous and wild by Megatron of all bots.

They would send small search parties for him but eventually after the all spark was launched, they stopped.

And Bee was left to autobot command.

Where they eventually put him with a new designation and in bot camp.

Sure he met Bulkhead and they became friends but it wasn’t…life was not the same. Not without his conjunx.

He missed him.

Terribly, every day.

The others knew something was up but not what.

They figured he was too young to have experienced any real pain in life and he hated it. But he didn’t want to expose himself when the elite guard specifically threatened that his former identity not be known.

So he kept his dermas shut, not that his team could tell with his happy go lucky personality, he played his role and part and would then go off looking to the stars hoping for his spark to be out there, alive and well.

He got his wish in the form of two craters in the city of Detroit.

One he remembers being Lugnut who immediately recognized him and thankfully kept quiet and the other, his spark.

Who thankfully sprung into action taking him far from the fight as Lugnut easily handled the others and kept them around him to give the two of them time as Blitzwing soared to the sky shouting incoherent words between all three of his faces while Bee cried tears of joy and screams of pain, relief, agony at being apart for so long and pure happiness at feeling the thrum of his conjunx’s spark swirling in tandem before plunging into his.

His spark soared the skies in a mating dance he readily accepted and trusted without a second thought.

Chirping and cooing with a rev of his engine to a pop of his door wings revealing them in a wing dance of acceptance that made Blitzwing plunge dive. It left Bee a squealing mess of laughter and carefree excitement he hadn’t felt since the day he last raced his love back on their home planet.

They both knew their time was limited.

Bee rushed to kiss his conjunx telling him the words he so desperately needed to say, “I love you,” before his audials heard the most beautiful voice box say it back.

“And I, love you,” his spark always knew how to touch him with words alone.

So long apart yet this wasn’t a stranger before him.

The same Blitzwing he met on the battlefield all those stellar cycles ago. The same Blitzwing who became a triple changer and would try to comfort him even though Bee wasn’t the one in pain. This very same mech who would hand feed him in his lap just because he wanted to take care of him. This very same mech who wanted to shield him from the horrors the best he could during the war. This mech, his mech, whose spark sang for him as they touched helms and became one so easily, after all this time.

This was the same mech he would risk life and limb for without a moments hesitation.

Their many late night meetings on Earth, before the decepticons were captured and brought back to Cybertron, raced through his mind as he snuck into the lower deck of the ship and waited until the coast was clear.

Tears in his optics, servos shaking and spark breaking at the sight of his love who sneered.

So big and strong, even while in so much pain.

He couldn’t help but sniffle and try to silence it before stepping to into the dim flickering light that made red optics more beautiful than they should be in this moment.

“Mein hummel.”

Those optics always beheld the stars when looking at him and he could only hope to do them justice.

“We’re getting out of here,” he kissed, pressing his helm to his beloveds. Servo transforming into a blade Bee cut through the chains as quickly and quietly as he could. Watching his conjunx flick his wings and stretch his frame before scooping him up and making quick work to take the corridors Bee used to sneak inside.

They were halfway free when the alarm rang but by then, it was too late.

“I came prepared,” Bee smiled.

Blurr stood with Shockwave at his side, the one optic con holding most of Blurrs weight as the healing former agent nodded towards them and motioned for them to leave.

Shockwave carried the mech as he ran for it. Blitzwing did the same and Bee made sure to use his arm canon, his original weapon given by his love, to cave in the doorways they passed.

All too soon they were outside making their way into a ship that was rushed to the skies and dodging blaster fire.

Bee could see his former team watching the ship fly away in betrayal and hurt before looking away.

He would never pick them over his spark but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

A servo on his shoulder and he looked to see Blurr shaking his helm.

“Don’t linger, it’ll make it worse.”

Nothing else was said after that.

For once Blurr didn’t talk at the speed of light and Bee had nothing to say.

He burrowed into his spark mate who gripped him tight covering his frame and in return Bee shielded Blitzwing’s spark.

Laying his helm over the shielded thrumming orb of life, he pressed a kiss to it.

And his love helped hide him from the world just as he needed.

-

I love this ship.

If you have any asks about them go ahead my inbox is always open. Hope everyone enjoys this.

This post inspired me

[nadianova]

How much time do you spend planning some of your visual novels? At least going by some of them being jam submissions, it feels like you go from pre-production to a finished build very quickly, and it's amazing how you can manage that while still having an awesome story and so many assets.

Also, what is like, the process of planning a story out for you, if there's any vague or concrete similarities that you've noticed?

i think the important context here is that if i get bored/have nothing to do i jhust immediately get really suicidal its like ridiculous how bad it gets(ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IVE HAD 5 YEARS OF THERAPY). so i hate being bored and want to occupy my time wit something fun whatever that is. if i have a project to focus on but especially if I'm working for a game jam i have a deadline and i just decide to myself okay i will release a game now.

because ive made a decent amount of games i roughly have an idea on my capabilities, i can estimate how long it takes for me to write a story so and so long and how long it takes for me to draw stuff i need and how long it takes for me to throw stuff in renpy. these are estimates like as in I'm not accurate with it but still enough that i generally know where to start cutting ideas since the most important part is just having something to submit. i also know to plan around my brain wanting to slam my head into a wall an my hands suddenly giving up on being able to draw.

i think thats the beauty of game jams it forces you to just go for it and release something. releasing a 'bad' game is better than no game at all. experience only comes over time and i think just going for it is the best approach there is. like its literally 2 weeks 1 month whatever of your life. if you have the time and motivation go for it. make it work or fuck it up it wont matter in the grand scheme of things

im not sure what is the motivation behind the question but i do want to point out that this is just my method (if you can even call it a method) and the only way to figure out what works for you is to just try until you find something that actually works for you

idk not everyone will find it doable/fun to plan around spending two weeks gamedev 10 hours a day just cause i wanted to fit in 100 cgs for a jam game but apparently i can do that when i cheat my stupid adhd brain into hyperfocus with adhd meds

READMORE BECAUSE I CANT STOP RAMBLING

as for planning tho i think ideas on their own are worthless and its always about execution in the end. a great idea or a meh idea are the same for me but i do still enjoy the planning process so i keep notes

like i see a great tumblr post or i see some art or visual novel has some scene that inspires me: i save that shit for myself

having a big collection of random floating ideas like that helps me easily pick from especially during a jam type duration. right now i have like 4-5 half-baked project skeletons, some are literally like 3 pictures and some like naomida are a hundred hours worth of me writing world building about how the toilets work in a city with no plumbing cause its -30celcius(i love bringing this up)=

i dont normally plan that much, i tend to just wing it. like for malmaid i seriously just had some rough ideas and just went along as i wrote

same thing for dddeviance i had a handful of scenes that i really wanted to make and knew what kind of start and end it was meant to have and just figured out how to fill the in between. a lot of plot points changed vastly like halfway through i realised my devil + angel combination was stupid and i should just go for fallen angel + angel.

i think there really is no simple answer tho (as evident from the long as hell post) i don't really have a 'process' because every single game has been worked on has come with different type of planning since I'm always trying new stuff to try and distract me from boredom. like I've been using obsidian for naomida while previously I've just used a empty discord serve as my notes app for malmaid and dddeviance

and tbh with naomida I'm running to a new problem where I'm definitely planning too much. like I'm spending too much time fidgeting with details in chapter 4 even when i haven't finished writing chapter 1 just cause its so easy to get in the loop of "oh ill just change this one line" and boom 20 mins spent playing with my notes that didn't really progress my game since by the time i reach this point the whole scene might have shifted to something else

.

but if i had to squeeze an answer itd be something like everything related to my art or writing or games is just like "oooooo that seems fun i should remember this for later" and then i just string 10-100 of those into a story

i tend to write my stories in a format of

character A does this and that

this happens here

puppy play ryona piss orgasm

new day and then this happens here

sad thing happens

more piss orgasm

the end

and just like start filling in more details and working on my story in a nonlinear fashion until i feel like i have a strong enough skeleton that i can start writing my scenes. i hop around a lot, often preferring to write the fun scenes first like ero stuff or the ones I'm the most interested in and then the rest is just filling the blanks and stringing the cool scenes together

[bepisbee]

i had ideas 👀 about vio getting addicted to dark magic and being the monster instead

plz lmk if you think its worth a fic :)

He doesnt even realize it becuase he spent so long around Shadow/the dark mirror openly diffusing dark magic like a humidifier. Until after they all finish the quest and suddenly hes not around it anymore and he gets sweats, shakes, mood swings, blood pressure drops. He doesnt know why until he visits the tower becuase hes sad and misses shadow. falls asleep there. 

the symptoms are gone when he wakes up.

he does his best about it. never tells the others and never goes back to the tower. He hides between the library and his room and becomes nocturnal to avoid the others seeing him. eventually the major shock and withdrawl symptoms stop but theres still thst itch he cant scratch thats always crawling under his skin. constsnt anxiety thst theres part of him missing now.

when they get older he cant take it anymore and gives in. he spends a day at the tower with the shattered mirror and hunts for material. resources, magic wells, heavy spots, books, studies, scrolls, spells. When hes in the dark magic for more than an hour his eyes start doing weird shit. not that he knows that rifht away ofc. they turn black in the sclera and slowly the ice blue turns purple.

He doesnt return for weeks

trying to amass some sort of personal portable dark magic source thst doesnt bring about the end of the world via dark mirror power well. preferably with an on off switch. he manages to be able to condescne some into a liquid form and bottles it for testing later. planning on trying it in a space not affected by “shadow ozone” for potency and relaiablility and effect length. he stays on it longer by channeling the magic in the air through himself

the colors come to find him and they think hes fucking possesed or smth.

he ends up having to tell them or they were gonna execute him for turning evil. hes worried they still might. They warn him off building a magic well and offer to help him kick his magic addiction.

he declines. he realized earlier if he can command a small enough power well that is disconnected from the sacred realm he might even get shadow back. (using different source, twilight realm over dark world?) plus he LIKES the feel of the magic and he isnt having different thoughts than before.

colors are obviously SUPER SUS about this plan but dont want to push him away. once hes determined he WILL do it. if they disagree he’ll just do it behind their backs and be unsafe and possibly hurt himself. or worse connect it too big of a source and attract the attention of gannon or other awful evil beings. reluctantly they all agree to help or at least let him be with this with more warnings to be careful af.

super worry squad

they leave him alone so they dont also get dark magic addicted (they cant though, only vio is susceptible becuase he is the part of link that holds his bad/evil thoughts or is even capable of using dark magic).

he takes his research home when he isnt succesful by the time hes out of food and supplies. he takes his liquid shadow essences bottled up with and goes home with the colors.

theyre there to support him this time around. 

he keeps researching and testing his essence on himself and channeling dark magic and using it to create sources. on accident he overdoses himself and gives himself permanent changes (hand claws, black gradient fades into his skin tone, sharp teefs, eyes remain black sclera) locks himself in his room in shame and fear and when it doesn't go away, panic. Eventually they get vio to let them in and he tells them about it. cue supportive family moment. Red helps file their claws down and Vio practices how to talk without cutting his tongue or biting it or his lips. It’s a struggle with the claws until they get filed down. They flare back out when he gets emotional though.

This ends up giving him a boost, altering his body, altering his magic channels. He now naturally flows dark energy in his magic. he gets to making a small source from a pendant he makes. Hs fuels enough power (with permission and supervision) and summons back Shadow and uses up his source to create a shadow body of dark magic mixed with earth and light magic. (essentially a gollum/elemental ) shadows body is dependent on Vio’s magic instead of the mirror now but it's not a problem since the alterations. If he gets hurt Vio can just fix him by feeding his body magic.

happy ending vidow :) and vios the monster this time!

[calebwittebane]

yknow, some questionable meta aside, i still vastly prefer morrowind having divayth fyr be present in it as a powerful respected rich ex-politician and entrepreneur and scholar, who also is a rotten person horrifically abusing his daughters and his patients and keeping them prisoner on the isolated island he calls home, and no one questions him and people blindly look up to him from afar, and the isolationist If Youre Powerful You Can Do What You Want politics of house telvanni further protect him, and his educated well-spoken gently eccentric persona further discourages people (including the player) from questioning him, and his own daughters isolated and manipulated as they are dont even know what to think about their own situation (and its awkward for them to even try to explain it), and because of his access to unique resources and information at some point in the main quest you have NO choice but to work with him if you want to survive/progress, and you have to confront all of that ugliness and decide what you want to do with it, if you even choose to notice it. the game doesnt punish you for not caring! why would it? has that not been the reality long before you ever got there? you can just get what you want from him and walk away, or you may remain angry and frustrated at your helplessness, because you know that you don't stand a chance against him and his magic he spent centuries and endless resources to hone, and there is no one with any incentive or authority to confront him. you may stay rightfully furious that this situation will not change just as it hasnt changed in so long, just as so many sickening things about the status quo on vvardenfell are way beyond your power as an individual to change. OR, if you're powerful enough--or if you come back later, having trained for this moment--you can simply take matters into your own hands, knowing this is the only way for the man to face any consequences, and get rid of the fucker once and for all. because he is, for all his pride and might, Possible To Kill. and you get cool armor out of it. so then how is it rare just kill him etc. do you see how compelling a narrative this is? both the maddening helplessness at the injustice you witness--a recurring thing in the game--and the catharsis of killing fyr? Do You Understand.

i vastly prefer all of the above to just retconning the whole thing, either ignoring it or clumsily trying to rewrite fyr into this quirky but totally harmless old man for the sake of Hey Remember This Guy. i understand not everyone likes the tone of morrowind and id be a complete fool to say it doesnt fall into a ton of pitfalls regarding many subjects and themes it tackles, but if thats the case, i really think eso was lame as hell for bringing back divayth fyr and stripping him of all that context. was it worth it? is the addition of divayth fyr to eso really that good? was the shallow "oh omg this guy was in morrowind" aspect worth it? i dont think so. and that fathers day joke was foul and we all know it

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

Chris and I- bringing our Baby home for the first time

18+ just in case ALL FLUFF (slight mention of parent death) bringing baby home from being born choose ur own Chris (its an AU) COMMENTS & REBLOGS APPRECIATED no permission to repost republish or tralnslate.

"Chris why are you driving so slow?" I'm with our baby in the back while he's driving the Audi, (always my favorite car)

"Because"

"Yea but hon it's our private road my baby's gunna turn three before we get to the house."

"Um excuse me its our Baby"

"Sure let's just so with that." I playfully roll my eyes and see Chris pout in the rear view mirror.

"That's not funny you know how long I've wanted a family for."

"I do and I'm sorry." I pause for a few second. "Actually I'm not because you're taking forever and I am in desperate need of a bath and she is going to need to be changed soon and you should get rest. Because I am not letting her cry herself to sleep. A d-"

"You think I'd do that? Hell no."

"Good because I'm not going to be the only one getting up so if you can increase to may at least 10 miles an hour. I'd appreciate it."

"Fine. "

"Dare I even ask for 30?" I flirty teases.

"Don't push it." His lip curls a bit.

My phone dings

"Oooo"

What?

"Scott left us cheesecake in the fridge and your mother will be bringing us dinner! God I love your family."

My tears well up

"I know. I'm sorry hon. I'm sure your mother would've loved to be here but I know she's watching over us. "

"I know I just....."

"Hey it's ok you've got my family and they love you more than me so"

I laugh

"It's gunna be weird without dodger there but I can't wait until he gets to meet his baby sister." I changed the topic in a dime-I know. And I know Chris knows I did that on purpose- it's too painful to talk about right now; especially with emotions all over the place.

"I'm glad everyone understood we wanted some alone time."

"Well it was that or we leave them on a porch to freeze."

"Oh my sweet little one you have no idea how much you're loved." I caress her cheek.

"Oh she knows did you see how much she loved people. Who visited her she drank it up."

"Oh I saw. I'm glad she has a big family who loves her. She's so beautiful."

"Just like her mama."

"Chris."

"What? Its true. She is practically your mini me. Franky I'm thrilled I was terrified."

"Yea gorgeous sexy actor who'd want to look like-"

"You do remember those scene where I had to dress up like a woman."

"Good point I'm still traumatized."

"We all were" he laughs

"Chris did we move at all?"

"Yes I'm getting there. Relax."

"Well she gunna be hungrey I know and you know I know when she is gunna get hungrey."

"And exactly how is that."

"Mommys intuition."

"I want daddy's intuition" he pouted

Oh thats easy see carry the child for 9 months and push them out through-"

"Ok ok I was there I don't need to relive it."

"You asked. We almost there I wanna cuddle. Honey we have plen-"

"Who said you I wanna cuddle with my baby girl."

"Me too."

"Well you know how we solve that?"

"No."

"We all cuddle together. Wait you seriously didn't think of that?"

"Hon I am just focused on the road."

"Chris you realized if you go to 30 miles we would've been there 5 minutes ago. Especially since Mama here is getting Hangrey" I cross my arms.

"Ok good point."

Within 2 minutes were back at home.

Chris and I unlock the carrier I go to get out he tells me to wait. He get the car seat/carrier he puts her down on the porch and we can see her from where we are.

"You left our child alone? I look at him with" widened eyes.

He pauses in mid movement not sure what to do or say

"I'm just kidding we can see her from here but hon I can walk by myself."

"I just want to help."

"Nothing I say will change things will it?"

"Nope."

"Worth a try. Anyway. Alright go. She needs to eat I want to sleep and you are on diper duty."

"Got it."

That was easier than I thought," I thought.

"Mother knows best." He replies

"How the hell do you know what I was thinking."

"Because we are that in sync."

"I had that inadvertent smirk on my face going didnt I?"

"Yes."

Before we bring her in he opens the door and goes inside for a moment. Then he comes back out.

He won't let me bend down to pick up the carrier so he picks her up but he are holding both sides of the carrier as we walk in together. Thankfully he has huge doors.

"Home sweet home baby girl."

We get the tiniest tiniest yawn.

"That was the cutest thing ever awww."

"I got it all on film baby."

"What?"

I put my camera to record this. So I can send it to everyone.

Can you not send it to everyone on your acting friends list, that didn't go over well like anytime but just to our close close friends and family I don't trust everyone and its my baby and I-"

"I know I know calm down mama bear. I already have a baby list and got NDAs."

Ok so he's even more paranoid than me.

There was a moment of silence.

"Chris."

"Yea

"What do we do first with her?"

he pauses

"I dont know."

"She's sleeping I dont want to take her out of her carrier."

"Me either dont wake a sleeping baby. We leave her on the floor and get changed?"

"I guess"

Were besides ourselves but we change and we sit on the floor and just stare at her.

"She's still asleep how is this possible"

"I don't know."

"We must have the most perfect baby ever- look at her sweet little breaths."

We stare at her, intensly for a while longer ok, for a lot while longer. He keeps trying to take his phone out. I put my hands over his. I mean after the 200th photo we can give it a rest and just take it in.

Chris mom, who has a key, had came and knocked with her finger to get our attention

"Why is she still in her carrier?"

"She's still sleeping."

"I dont want to wake her. I know she's gunna be hungrey and you know when she wakes up but I can't I can't help it. She's so."

We don't want to miss anything.

Ok you two how about you get some sleep and let grandma take care of her

Me and Chris both pout

Now go. You two sleep while you can.

Chris helps me up why I don't know. But he does and we crawl into bed and cuddle up and I fall asleep in his arms the next thing I know his mother is gently waking me, telling me she's hungrey.

Our sweet angel is brought in to me and Chris wakes up a second before she's brought into me.. she grabs onto my finger as she feeds.

“I love you” he kissed my temple

“I know.”

He kisses her head and she gives him the dirtiest look.

I let out a huge laugh.

"You're just like mama" he boops her nose which does nothing to dispell her dirty look.

"Mommy doesn't like to be disturbed when she's eating either."

"Ignore daddy" her eyes turn back to me, turning soft, "hes crazy."

"She likes you better."

"Baby im sure its just cause she loves food and I'm her only source. And she doesn't like me better its just baby moods." I don't know if that’s a thing but its worth a shot to comfort Chris.

"I know she loves you too. She made grabbed hands towards you before she fell asleep."

"Really."

"Yea. Right my little angel you love daddy too."

We turn on the TV low and Chris put on C-span.

"One way to get her to sleep. But maybe save c-span for night time. Put on a movie."

"Which one?”

“I don't know."

We finally settle on Disney's Snow White and not soon after she finishes eating and fals right back asleep. I hold her as Chris puts one arm around me and one arm around the baby.

His mother comes in without us realizing and apprently took a few pictures before she told us to say cheese.

"I'm tired"

"Sleep my love."

"We should put her down in her crib first I wanna do it together its the first time." I pout. So I'm exhausted I'm barely able to make it to her nursery but I'm determined for us to do this as a family. We gently placed her in the crib And Chris is apprently a master at hiding camera because he got the whole thing on film. We placed her in her crib and

and back before I'm out like a light. Chris later told me he held me while watching the baby monitor like a hawk until he fell asleep. I mean she's safe and were home and safe. Theres nothing I need more than what I have right now, snuggling into my husband the perfect first time home.

Ok sure she woke up up for feedings (which Chris got up to get her, and diaper changes and swaddling but she's a baby they do that but she's still a perfect baby... our baby... mine and Chris' perfect baby

Tag list

@sapphire-rogers @nana1000night @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @sparklybarbarianninja

[pixeljade]

Had a dream that they came out with another Distant Lands episode of Adventure Time which actually explained all the cosmic entities, framed through an explanation of where Prismo's sleeping old man came from. In the dream, the old man's name was just Paul and he was a guy on earth during the days leading up to the mushroom war who slept through everything. His family made jokes about how he would probably sleep through the apocalypse, and he couldnt hold down any jobs because he was always so sleepy. He had a wish to someday make the perfect pickle, but nobody took him seriously. He also had a small dog who always got jnto mischief. Meanwhile, in his dreams, he was communing with various gods, especially the cosmic owl. At some point the cosmic owl just casually says to him "Oh actually the apocalypse IS coming lol" and he just freaks out, and cosmic owl just says something about seeing if he can get him a job with his boss, changing the subject awkwardly. Paul says "yeah sure, whatever", and then wakes up to an air raid as bombs are dropping in his neighborhood. He runs, and falls down into a sewer, which somehow lets him survive the initial blast, but he get irradiated. From then on out we see Paul moving from refugee camp to refugee camp, surviving the final days of humanity, while his dreams seem empty, and he laments that even what he thinks are his imaginary friends have given up on him. Meanwhile, we're shown Cosmic Owl going to their boss, who we only ever see as a ball of pulsing light which changes color constantly, and speaks through a monotonous drone. The Cosmic Owl then gathers all the cosmic entities to discuss Paul, and all of them agree that Paul is worth saving--of interest is that Scarab is amongst those saying this. But that direct interference just to save one guy isnt okay. But what they CAN do is pull out his inner cosmic essence and ascend him to godhood, something Cosmic Owl laments as not being ideal. So then Cosmic Owl comes to Paul, as he's ain a group of survivors, the children of which have animal hats, and Paul is about to turn into one of the goo monsters that result from radiation. Cosmic Owl says he has a way out of his horrible fate, but its kinda a monkey's paw type deal. Paul simply says sure, and Cosmic Owl tells him to shut his eyes, and focus on what his inner cosmic essence tells him he should do. Paul just smiles sadly and says, he's met so many people who never got to see their wishes to fruition, he just kinda wants to be able to bring their wishes to life. Suddenly, Paul's shadow starts turning pink, and Cosmic Owl whisks him away from earth, knowing that he cannot be there any longer, pulling him to one of the many random floating rocks in space. And then boom, suddenly, reality unfolds into the cube Prismo lives in, right above Paul, and Paul heals up and falls into a deep sleep. Prismo and Cosmic Owl have a quick conversation, where its clear Prismo has no memory of Paul's life, but Cosmic Owl makes some comment about pickles, and Prismo lights up talking about making pickles. Cosmic Owl smiles gently, appreciating that there's still a little bit of Paul in there, even if Prismo isnt him. Cosmic Owl explains his job as wishmaster real quick, and goes on his way to report back to the others. Prismo starts flipping through channels, fast forwarding through ones, and ends up seeing Jake making bacon pancakes and smiles. Then we cut away to Cosmic Owl with the other entities from earlier, explaining Prismo, and Scarab gets pissed. Scarab apparently really loved talking to Paul, and now Paul was forbidden to ever awaken, so long as Prismo was free to be himself. He swore vengeance on Prismo then and there, saying that if he made even the slightest mistake, he would take him down and bring Paul back. And thats when the episode ended.

And yes, i do dream entire episodes of things sometimes with complete plot points. My brains just like this.

[mikka-minns]

A rant about Mamiya and Mikage cuz they are my hyperfixation now (alongside Tokiko)

Warning for spoilers

Also mentiones of misgendering and grooming

Mikage: You will be the rose bride, Mamiya

Me: haha he Just called Mamiya a twink

Also me: even tho Mamiya suggests that he should be the rose groom since he is a guy, Mikage doesnt agree simply cuz he thinks that "bride" suits him more.

It could be because he thinks of Mamiya as too feminen to be a real man.

Could this means Mamiya is a trans man? Is that something Ikuhara is trying to hint at?

Does Mikage know this and still thinks of him as a girl in some way simply bcuz he can't see the change(the revolution) of Mamiya's gender as a real thing. Does he Just project Tokiko's image onto Mamiya and thats why he wants a bride specificly? Or is Mamiya who he projects onto Tokito? He has more emotional moments with Mamiya and is also closer to him.

Maybe he doesnt know Mamiya is trans and thats why he doesnt think its a big lead but it is a big deal to Mamiya.

Maybe Mamiya isnt trans, BUT HOLY FUCK, ITS RIGHT THERE!

Was Mikage like that even before Mamiya's death? Did he try to make him the rose bride and a tool for finding the eternity?

And what about Mamiya and his eternity? He was sick and in pain when the reaserch started. If his life became eternal, neverending, would his sickness too? Did Mikage ever think of that?

Mikage Also thinks that being the rose bride will bring Mamiya some sort of pleasure. He wants to make him HIS OWN rose bride. He doesnt even think for a moment that it doesnt work like that.

As we know, the rose bride is basicaly a doll, a puppet. Being anything LIKE a rose bride will only get you suffering, yet somehow, Mikage thinks he would be doing Mamiya a favor. Similarly to how Utena thinks that by becoming a prince(Someone "destined" to use the rose bride for his own gain) she will save Anthy. But both of these are selfish actions that will only bring even less freedom to the Ones they love.

Its also worth noting how Mikage, even tho he is this big child genius, knows nothing if what he is actualy doing.

He is working for Akio ehem being groomed that is ehem

While Also ploting against his biggest, most important weapon - Anthy Himemiya.

Not to mention Himemiya was playing Mamiya this whole time.

He was made loser in this game before it even started. He too was a tool for grooming other kids at the academy since he himself was a lost cause(or at least that what he became at the end).

Mikage is only feeling real emotions when he is with Mamiya. But one emotion that he fell for the first time because of him is sadness.

Once he realised Mamiya is gone, he cried for the first time. Only then, when he allowed himself to mourn was he truly Also happy.

He was sad Mamiya was gone because he felt happy with him.

(i just got upset after seeing that scene again, so i had to rant. I will probably do a better ananysis than this, this is Just a little something)

[mintyfrostyart]

AYO ITS THE GODS FOR DETECTIVE AU

I'll go into details about all the Gods below the cut if ur interested !!

Major props and credit to @hammerhead-art for being an ear for all this and helping me significantly crunch down on ideas for this silly lil AU RFIOEDIH Thank you for all ur help !! <3

Payment Payment (has no pronouns, only referred to by name) is both the God of hard work and of obsession. Payment represents how all deeds in life must lead to a payoff at the end. Everyone must work; everyone must always work to get what we all deserve. Maybe one day everything will be worth it; maybe it’ll all pay off. But as soon as people try to stop. They can’t. They’re stuck in this tar; this impossible barrier that can’t be broken. It sticks you to the ground; its in your hair. It’s all you can think about.

This philosophy is very common amongst Revensteed. All the Gods are invisible, but Payment seeps into every corner of the city. Through every person, since all people could ever wish for is the relief that it’ll all be worth it one day. This is also why Detective AU is presented in a black-and-white format since Payment prevents any colour from seeping through 

Prejudice Prejudice (she/him) is the simplest of the Gods. She represents hate and deceit, the unwilling need to judge those around you. Prejudice is something that once it views, it eats up your mind and makes you unable to see past it. The several eyes represent the undergoing tie that prevents you from acting as you normally would to them, or strung from a single source. The torso being disembodied with only floating hands is a signifying of being "guiltless" of it, since the blood cant be on your hands if they're not attached to you.

Process Potentially one of the most interesting Gods (she/them). Progress is representative of how humans have the desire to become immortal, to always move forward (that being represented in the mechanic structure) but sacrifices the foundations of what it truly means to be human; to reproduce and to love (how the God is the shape of a bird).

“I just . in particular a thing I bounce around in m head is the relationship between the progress of mankind and technology and the natural cycle of death . and the very existence of machines which blurs this line of life and death . specifically I think making birds a symbol of both life and death , a symbol whose meaning changes depending on the context , is Fun . Life and Death and Progress in all of it , thats the way the world is . die as a bird born a human , progress mankind and die again , become a bird once more . symbol of death n life n the completion of both at once . but what happens when the symbol of death and life as we know it , both in the fact that it lives at all and that it perishes , is robotic ? when it cant die , is it even alive ? and if it cant live , could you call it a symbol of death ?” Quote from @hammerhead-art

Pleasure Pleasure (he/him) is the youngest and the most interesting case study. You see, Pleasure was not originally formed with the other 3 Gods. Pleasure is the only ‘man-made’ God, so to speak. People truly believed that there was some light at the end of the tunnel, that surely SOMETHING was waiting for them. People believed it so badly that Pleasure was able to manifest into a being of worship. People use Pleasure to excuse poor behaviour such as gambling or intense crime since life is for the living, is it not? Surely we must work so hard that we must enjoy ourselves why we are still alive. 

Because of this, Payment is actually an allergy to Pleasure. He brings so much joy to an otherwise brutally working world that Payment isn’t able to seep into every crack of Revensteed. Pleasure is most common around the South of Revensteed. Because Payment can’t touch this part of town, it is the only location in the AU not portrayed in Black and White.

[ilexdiapason]

i need to hear more about transed gender randy

ok how does this episode actually go. i know it opens on some bullshit; maybe morgan beats randy and howards ddr scores and randys mad because shes getting recognition and preventing them from having the high score on every machine in the game hole. they complain, maybe accuse her that she only won because shes hot, and shes like idk man get good? randy goes to the ninjanomicon for advice and the nomicon says something along the lines of yeah, get good, you cant be the best at everything "wearing too many gold medals will weigh down your neck". randy is like ummm what im HEARING is that the NINJA needs to get that high score so that RANDY isnt the best at everything but *I* still get the praise? and the nomicon does its traditional facepalm of you literally couldnt understand any less. and so he finds some ancient ninja technique of grace that's called like. art of the crane or some shit. and he suits up and maxes out the score on the machine and beats morgan and everyone cheers and hes like haha see this was worth it and will have no long term consequences! and then detransforms and hes a girl. paragraph break here

howard has some kind of unintelligent DUDE YOURE A CHICK response, they both freak out, howard appraises her looks and shes like nothing changed why are you judging my appearance now??? howards like idk i guess it just occured to me. and then some dance themed mcfist robot gets involved and people appraise the entire fight by commenting on the ninjas figure, how she must be inspired by the guy ninja, she doesnt seem as competent, general sexism you see in the average youtube comments section. randys like wtj guys. and eventually she goes to morgan to ask her how to kill this thing and morgan is like absolutely, girls support girls, and they do it together and randy finally learns his lesson that having EVERY gold medal around your neck weighs you down because you just expect to win and cant handle the loss. and then goes back to the nomicon like ok i learned my lesson can i be a dude again now i hate people commenting on my body while im trying to do my job. but same as the art of disguise and the ninja supersenses it's one of those things where you need to master it or it masters you so its like nah you gotta do this one yourself chief. and so the final segment is him watching morgan win her high score back on the ddr machine and genuinely appraising her dance talent without bringing her gender or her looks into it and he pops back to normal and howard is eating nachos like oh thank god i thought you were gonna be a chick forever and we weren't gonna be able to play video games any more and randy is like howard did you learn ANYTHING from this and howards like idk girl ninja would be hot??? and thats the end of the episode

[bebbie-bilinski]

Hi! Do you have any adhd/asd stiles headcanons? They're always so fun to read!

ohmygosh hello!! boy do i have plenty of headcanons pertaining to autism ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(apologies in advance this is going to be incredibly self indulgent as a lot of these are based on ways autism shows up for me. i'll put a little "*" next to those!)

Autisic Stiles Stilinski Headcanons

it was incredibly obvious that he was on the spectrum when he was growing up - he didnt always respond to his name when called, no eye contact with anyone aside from his mom and dad, had the same outfit in multiples because thats the only thing he felt comfortable wearing, stuff like that! since then he's expanded who he allows himself to make eye contact with like anyone from the pack but its pretty sporadic eye contact and not consistent

was in special education for a portion of elementary school until it was deemed he didnt quite need that anymore *

selective mutism - as a kid he rarely spoke more than a couple sentences throughout the span of a week and because of this he was taught ASL and still uses it when he experiences speech loss (the pack has taken it upon themselves to learn at least the basics to understand stiles when he switches over to that) also sidenote to any autistic people who may be reading this i highly recommend learning whatever version you have of sign language in your country its been such a positive change in my life its so worth learning!

hes a sensory seeker and sensory avoider but his most favorite textures are: rocks, sherpa, faux fur (only the soft and very short kind, water, bamboo fabric, sorta-wet dirt, door frames, beards (if any of the guys in the pack grow out their facial hair get ready for lots of pats from stiles), and the feeling of running his hands over his freshly-buzzed hair *

stims - his stims consist of popping his lips, shaking his head side to side, sucking in air, rolling his tongue, hand flapping, knee bouncing, swaying, spinning, humming, grunting, pacing, touching the textures he likes, having a particular song on repeat, pursing his lips, and laughing! the ones pertaining to age regression are: rattles, having a pacifier in his mouth, and the sound blocks make like getting tumbled over *

safe foods - he is an incredibly picky eater but has safe foods he either has had everyday for years now or some for special occasions: oatmeal, toast, curly fries, lemonade, grilled cheese, mac n cheese (are we seeing a theme here haha), ramen, any sort of veggie-meats, soup, any sort of snack that crunches like cheese itz goldfish veggie straws etc.

his bed - he likes his bed in a very particular way i'll even throw in a pic of the bed frame he has!

he lines all the edges with stuffed animals and/or pillows and does not like having his bed made neat, he likes to keep it looking like a nest and hes very serious about that Noah knows better than to make his bed if he's ever tidying up around the house! he only sleeps with a jersey comforter and a 25lb weighted blanket and does not like laying his head on his pillow but rather hugging it so most nights he sleeps flat against the mattress *

outings - any sort of long outings is going to require a bag of sorts and stiles will often forget to bring such bag, his dad always brings it and makes sure to tell anyone he might be with (like Derek, Lydia, Scott etx) to bring The Bag ™ it consists of: noise canceling headphones, a couple of fidget toys, at least one small stuffed animal, his backup anxiety medication, sunglasses, and a change of the most sensory friendly clothes *

[system-of-a-feather]

(Disclaimer: this post was written in two parts, the first half was done the day before but not posted cause I didnt feel it was a complete thought, the second half was added after. I did not edit or touch the first half as I like to keep space for the thoughts of myself as they were; i also have passive chronic amnesia so Im not 100% sure if everything is on the same page; regardless that is just context)

Honestly, I think the thing that is important to keep in mind when interacting with syscourse - or specifically for us cause the only one we really care about is the tulpa discourse - is that you are never going to force or change anyone's mind who is so set that they are sitting on tumblr and pulling the dumbest arguments out of their ass to support their claims and I do think those that spend their time arguing with @/sophieinwonderland and @/cambriancrew - while honestly doing the dirty work no one wants to do by balancing out their bullshit posting so mad respect - are largely wasting their time if they do ever think that a mind will be changed.

The only reason to ever engage or talk about the stuff they (and the clique that actually buys into those arguments) talk about is solely to make an example out of how incredibly deep their interalized racism and just disregard for POC goes and honestly looking at them as anything other than a stubborn white person is putting more emotional energy than its worth.

Because genuinely, in a weird way and me doing what XIV calls "The Riku Thing" of looking at a really negative, annoying, and/or harmful thing and finding the bright side silverlining to it, I do kind of appreciate how astonishingly White TM they are because their unapologetic and loud nature makes a really big spectacle for a lot of people who otherwise would not understand how bad certain issues are look and go "what the fuck" and in its own way, it brings good publicity to the issues AAPI and eastern cultures go through in a western and white predominant area.

AAPI issues often go under the radar and are disregarded due to a number of reasons, but honestly? This is the most I've ever seen people actually talk about how white people take advantage of eastern and Asian cultures (relative to the size of the community in question) save for the brief blip of when Stop Asian Hate got loud during COVID where sinophobia blasted up and a bit surrounding Cyberpunk as a genre when Cyberpunk 2077 came out.

In that regard, I'm kinda glad they are so loudly racist and White TM about AAPI cultures. It makes for good publicity and awareness by being the example of just the Usual Bullshit and it starts better conversations. I'd honestly prefer a loud bigot to a quiet insidious one cause the loud ones at least can serve part of a message and be ignored.

Anyhow, this is all just to say that bigots will be bigots and you can argue with them all you want and call them truthful statements like "bigots" and "racist" but thats about all you can do to really control their behavior. Those balancing out their bullshit arguments, mad props - I could never cause that shit is too toxic and too much of an investment, but it is respectable work. (insert "it aint much but its honest work" meme at yall)

---(cut between original thoughts and the added bit)---

That said, I'll just say it as the fact that it is, those two and those that follow their rhetoric do not care at all about AAPI individuals and are just racist. We don't have to debate it and it's honestly not up for debate and while we could put our energy to trying to tear down their following and make them shut up, in a world where the KKK still exists and thrives, its an unlikely and futile of a goal to try ti achieve.

Instead its best imo to treat them like the public case study of white and western abuses to AAPI culture, particularly since time and time again they redisplay some of the most classic and frequently used techniques white and western individuals do to try to excuse their shit.

If you wouldn't give a person arguing with any other loud and proud bigot, its best to just accept that bigots be bigots and rather than banging your head against a wall, put it up for display on the museum wall as a means of education and awareness.

Theres no point in talking to bigots about how they are bigotted. There is, however, a point to displaying it for those less effected and usually not given the opportunity to sed it in full get a much closer look at some of the shit we deal with

I like to think that while a lot of white and western people suck, that a lot of them genuinely are trying their best with the limited awareness, access, and understanding that they have.

I dont feel as though I would be correct calling them and bigots a "small minority", but I'd like to think they aren't the majority and I honestly appreciate those willing to learn and better understand and so ya know? Whats a better way to explain it than with a live dancing monkey that loudly and proudly displays the behaviors in question for all to see.

Anyhow, I digress. Take this as you will. I am just throwing some insight and personal thoughts about specific users in hopes that some people who might be overly stressed about it might find a little more peace moderating the topic

[box-this-lap]

"Quality over quantity" there are 10 teams on the grid and 5 of them are such a joke that andretti cant possibly be bad enough to devalue the sport. (Id say six cuz sauber appears next to the word mediocre in the dictionary but at least they're folding to audi). There is no quality outside the top 4 this year, and i will defend that point team by team.

One of those 5 teams is designed to never actually compete for the championship. Like actually. In addition to having a hideous sellout name not worth repeating, its owned by a company thats greedy enough to take 2 pieces of the f1 pie just for winning with one team and doing jack shit with the other.

Then theres Haas, which is being run like a stock racing team in the pinnacle motorsport of engineering and innovation. And then its owner has the nerve to be surprised when that doesnt work in a sport that tends to invent concepts so good they make their way to roadcars. Firing Gunther Steiner cuz you cant hire an engineering staff and build a factory while getting accused of tax fraud makes me wonder how gene was good enough with money and business sense to start a company in the first place.

Alpine* is stupid enough to fire what feels like its entire staff and change owners what feels like every other month and then be confused about why they still suck in a sport partially about continuity and learning from mistakes. *it feels weird to call Alpine stupid because im calling multiple investors and employees that dont even work there anymore stupid when the problem seems to be the lack of continuity about who works there.

Dont even get me started on Lawrence Stroll's shit show. Aston Martin has, across multiple team names, only had a good car when they copy someone else's design. Its so bad we named them after the teams they stole from. The pink mercedes. The green bull. And all this does is lead to them not being able to stay at the front, because how are u supposed to keep up in the upgrade game if ur just copying everyone else's homework a year late? Icing on the cake is that its owner, the aforementioned Lawrence Stroll, is the biggest nepo enabler of all time who thinks he deserves to be knighted for being dog water.

This point is going to hurt. Its going to hurt because this team was my favorite. Its going to hurt because this team is historically one of the most successful f1 teams of all time. Williams, what the FUCK do you mean you dont have a spare chassis? I literally dont even need to bring up anything else because it's that embarrassing. We know why, but how did it get this bad? Youre the laughing stock of f1, and somehow after 9 championships you earned it, i cant defend this anymore.

But yeah, Andretti being bad would "devalue" the sport. No wonder the US government is accusing you of forming a trust, F1. Not really sure what else you could be doing at this point.